theforest-system

[theforest-system]

was gonna add more but i ran out of steam 😔👎 anyway here’s an infographic on how people with complex dissociative disorders are not that different from you lol

[theforest-system]

[theforest-system]

[theforest-system]

When you thought you were rping as a kid,, but you were just an introject THE WHOLE TIME

Okay so I made a post a while ago saying how I had a warrior cats clan as a subsystem? And I've been wracking my head around when/how they would front... I just realized,, we had been rping as warrior cats and that's when they would front. Oh dear. OH DEAR CLOVERKIT I KNOW ONE OF THEIR NAMES NOW WHAT THE FUCK

[theforest-system]

Okay so I made a post a while ago saying how I had a warrior cats clan as a subsystem? And I've been wracking my head around when/how they would front... I just realized,, we had been rping as warrior cats and that's when they would front. Oh dear. OH DEAR CLOVERKIT I KNOW ONE OF THEIR NAMES NOW WHAT THE FUCK

[theforest-system]

How my system lives tbh. We don't have roles for the most part, just, vibes

i think a lot of younger systems would be better off if they took a minute to stop stressing about roles or consciousness labels or headspaces or origins and just treat members of their system like random guys. that one headmate you can't tell the role of? they like hot chocolate with marshmallows and listening to the rain. you too. you need to be a random guy. being a random guy is good for everyone.

[theforest-system]

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

[theforest-system]

I had an interview recently, and they asked me what motivates me. I was stumped. I told them what I do to keep myself alive (stay sober, work on my mental health, etc) but I realize, I don't have any goals or anything for motivation. I just live day to day, trying to stay afloat. I don't have any dreams or aspirations. I just want someone to hold me, care for me, I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. That's my only "dream" in life, but I don't think you could count it as anything, really.

Side note, I've been feeling really dissociated today, I want to take a nap, try to reset my brain, but I have a fear of sleep sometimes and it's acting up right now. I feel like I'm triggered (usually why that fear occurs) but nothing has happened today? I haven't been around any of my usual triggers, and I can't recall when or how it started.

[theforest-system]

It feels as if my system right now is made up of only fragments. I wake up, a completely different person to who went to sleep. I go to sleep, a completely new/different person who woke up. I have no memories of yesterday or even this morning. I told my friend id remember Halloween for a month before it disappears, the memory's already gone. Everything feel fake and uncertainty is killing me. I have thoughts on my head (which I think are past alters) asking "what's happening?" And "I don't understand...."

I'm so tired of not remembering anything that happens in my life. I already cope with memory loss, I'll usually forget what I did quite a lot, it's what DID is. But what am I without a memory (of anything what's so ever) what am I without a sense of self?

We are what our past experiences have made us,, but what if I don't remember any of them?

I don't remember what happened a year ago, I don't remember where I was a month ago, and I don't remember anything that happened yesterday.

I barely remember today. Definitely not this morning.

I feel like I'm in an aliens spaceship and everything I see is a hallogram so I'm calmer when they're doing tests on me.

I know that isn't real, I know what I'm seeing is reality,, it's just,,, it doesn't feel like it at all.

I feel like I'm being ran by fragments and fragments alone. There is no true alter, there is no true subsystem at this time.

All I hear are confused uncertain thoughts in my head, sometimes terrified screaming coming from my past alters. Why is it so scary to just,, be in my head??

People tell me I should be okay with being alone. I feel like if they had to live a day in my head, where in the inner world, we can hear torturous screaming sometimes (a lot ngl) they wouldn't last.

The only reason I'm still going is so hopefully one day, my dormant/past alters can front again, and see the world is forgiving.

I'm so tired guys. I'm tired of hearing screaming.

Sorry if this is too unique of an experience...

[theforest-system]

Things to call headmates other than "my Alters"

Headmates: solid 8/10, clearly a system term though

The Others: 7/10 kinda mysterious, not much pizazz

Family: 9/10 yeah replace those sorry ass relatives of yours!

Brothers/ Sisters: 8/10 personally I like calling them my brothers and sister, but tbh kinda sounds like catholic priests/ nuns. -2 points

Roommates: 9/10 Basic like headmates, but phrased in a way singlets understand

Friends: 10/10 Wholesome, although I am definitely not friends with everyone in here

The Voices: 3/10 People gonna absolutely think you're crazy

Greek Chorus: 5/10 It's funny when someone actually knows what you're referring to

Peanut Gallery: 7/10 Similar concept to the above, only more understood by the average person

Backseat Drivers: 9/10 The most correct one on the list, especially said with just a touch of contempt. Might make someone upset

The Collective: 8/10 very ominous, better when talking about the system as a whole singular unit

Comrades: 10/10 Like friends, but commier! Perfect!

Coworkers: 10/10 very accurate representation of how it actually works in here

The Council: 9/10 The Council has decided that it's really entertaining to refer to ourselves like that

Chat: -10/-10 How is it so perfect, yet so awful, yet so awfully perfect?

[theforest-system]

broken plate this, video game that. what if my brain is a lego set and none of these bitches have the instruction manual.

[theforest-system]

When an alter goes dormant and your thoughts are quieter... But in an eerie way <\3

[theforest-system]

Hey PSA don't go looking for answers if you have DID/OSDD/CDD. Trust me in my experience it has fucked me up further and my dissociative barriers are insane. it's also made me develop low splitting tolerance. So now I can't even name myself to kind of acknowledge when I'm switching. So my memory loss feels pretty random to me right now.

I used to have just a little over 100 alters. Now I have more than 300. And I have a sneaking suspicion it is because I tried looking for answers as much as possible.

So yeah... This isn't worth it to know what I already knew.

Edit: AND I STILL DONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME MOST OF THE TIME

[theforest-system]

I will elaborate if anyone asks me to

(ofc it's still a joke tho)

[theforest-system]

amnesia gang am i right

[theforest-system]

There's this creep that has illegal testosterone. he can get it for me if I have sex with him. Guys.... What do I do

[theforest-system]

When you ask your brain how many alters were made tonight and the answer is "smegmateen' in a weird prepubescent male voice.