theblackphone-incorrectquotes

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Vance: I sometimes wonder how you all got to where you are.

Robin: I saw you try to turn on a light switch five times before you realized it was already flicked up the other day.

Vance: And I saw you trying to push the same pull door on three consecutive days. My statement remains.

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Griffin: I have a science headcannon.

Finney: A what?

Billy: He means a hypothesis.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Finney: Vance, if you didn't want to be assimilated into my found family then you should have killed me when you had the chance.

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Vance: Hey, Griffin, want an edible?

Bruce: Excuse me?

Vance: I'm just trying to push drugs onto our son.

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Vance: It literally says diazepam- do you know what that shit is?!

Billy: I'm trying to be helpful, you know. Trying to potentially save lives. But fine. Don't be calm and eat your parents. Knowing your temper they'll be gone by dinner time.

Vance: What the fuck.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Griffin: I wish I had three toes.

Vance: ...

Griffin: ...

Vance, sighing: Why, Griffin? Why do you want three toes?

Griffin: So I could have grippy parrot feet.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Ghost!Billy: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Vance: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Finney: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Finney, gently nudging Griffin aside with his foot: Griffin, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.

Griffin, his eyes enormous: You kick Griffin? You kick his body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Finney! Jail for Finney for one thousand years!

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Bruce: Don’t stay up all night, Billy. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

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Finney: Hand flapping isn't enough, I need to scream at the top of my lungs.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Griffin: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Robin: Go the fuck to sleep, Griffin.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Bruce: Where's Robin?

Billy: Don't worry, I'll find him.

Billy, shouting: Finney sucks!

Robin, distantly: Finney is the best person ever! Fuck off!

Billy: Found him.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Robin: Life could be worse, Finney.

Finney: Life could be a lot better too!

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Finney: What did you two do?

Gwen: ...

Vance: ...

Finney: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Bruce: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Billy, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Griffin, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Billy: Because he has little hands.

[theblackphone-incorrectquotes]

Griffin on Monday, gluing a dime to the sidewalk: Heh heh heh.

Griffin on Wednesday, walking down the street: Ooh hey! A dime!