the-slayer-of-ratatouille

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Stories from the Spine: The Magic of the Ilahn Ilahn

The Ilahn Ilahn(ɪlɒn ɪlɒn) of the Spine's western coast, like many of the lost continent's cultures, practiced a form of magic. Discovered in their legendary academies, Uhnzit is unique among the continent's magics for a series of reasons. For one, we have a year for its discovery. Uhnzit is named in Ilahni documents dated to around 26 AA, but the Ilahni scholar Pahkeh(~3AA-49AA) dates the discovery to 24 AA, crediting his mentor Iahmpeh(~40BA-25AA) as its founder. Pahkeh's assertion is difficult to corroborate, as most other surviving texts on the origin of Uhnzit seem to be referrencing Pahkeh's account. An academic ledger written either in late 25AA or early 26AA makes reference to "The practices of Iampeh", although what exactly these practices are is unclear.

Another feature of Uhnzit is the lack of ritual or religious associations with its practice. Many of the Ilahni academies were explicitly atheist or fell under the Navsva doctrine, leading to Uhnzit being seen as a strictly scientific practice, grounded in observable principles with sound logics. While some Ilahni temples seemed to integrate Uhnzit in ritual use, the bulk of its practice seems to have been done secularly, and some thought its practice to be taboo.

Uhnzit was thought to harness the magic present in all solid things, called zit-ee. In order to do this, one would need to go into a state called mahahchahnzit(which Uhnzit's name derives from). Mahahchahnzit seems to have been a state of breathing similar to meditation, where a practitioner would sit and focus on their breath(amahah) for an amount of time. The exact instructions for mahahchanzit seem to be lost, but it apparently left one with "a great understanding of their being as a crumb of the sky".

After sufficient meditation, practitioners could supposedly harness the zit-ee present within themself, allowing them to achieve a great many fantastical feats. It is said that Uhnzitaei practitioners could move things without touching them and stop things currently in motion. Most interestingly, it was said they could draw the zit-ee in their bodies out to create solid constructs, which "glowed with light the color of the sky". There is debate on the nature of these zit-ee constructs, but a significant amount of literature on Uhnzhit focuses on the constructs. Apparently they could change shape completely to the imagination of the magician, emitted a slow hum, and were completely immune to the magics of other cultures. There seemed also to be a form of healing magic(aba-Uhnzit), which could not heal wounds completely, but could relocate them elsewhere on one's body, sparing them the danger of otherwise lethal or debilitating wounds.

There was a cost to Uhnzit, however, as zit-ee was the force which holds all things together, overspending could make one fall apart, reducing them to a dust-like substance called Kolpf, or "source". The limit of overspending is unclear, although one texts outlines that "all grown men of sufficient mass have within them the capability to lift 16 gadne above the air for 16 mahe, or double that weight for half that length". It is thought that 16 "gadne" would be equivalent to roughly 30 pounds, but "mahe" is an obscure measurement of time, the exact length of which is currently unknown. The 16 and 16 measurement seems to have been a common rule of thumb for Uhnzitaei practitioners. There are several instances of sorcerers reducing portions of themselves to dust while practicing, including at least two prominent scholars said to have died this way. Eventually, it is was discovered that skilled magicians could focus the parts of their body that were reduced, choosing to first lose dead skin before a finger, and so on. If hair was reduced to its follicle while practicing Uhnzit, it was thought to grow back white.

A massive amount of Ilahni history is the history of Uhnzit. There are records of its use in at least three wars, traveling scholars skilled in its practice would bring the Ilahni to the attention of cultures on the other side of the continent. The Uhnzitaei practitioner would become a major symbol of the Ilahni, with his short wand, long beard, and scholar's hat. Thank you for joining me in an exploration of the more mystical and fantastical element of the lost continent.

-Joseph Fuller

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Stories from the Spine: Speculations on the Mysterious Ilahn Ilahn

The Ilahn Ilahn(ɪlɒn ɪlɒn) peoples, who settled the western coast of the spine, have puzzled archeologists for decades. Most famous for their practice of mainith 'the youngest magic on the spine', their massive, sprawling academies, and their fascinating language, the latest to be translated of the Spine's scripts. Certain anthropologists, such as Duncan Kuchar, have forwarded a narrative for Ilahni history: the proud outsiders. As Kuchar says in Insights of the Lost Continent, "The Penfth Derir of the northern coast share this with Khahnd, and the Ilarre from so far away on the southern coast, because they share the same cultural assumptions of the Ilahni. A child raised in an Ilahni city would be taught of their proud history, their nature as the newest settlers to this alien land, and the inherently foreign and exotic nature of their neighbors." Kuchar's conclusions are imperfect, and there has been a wealth of valid criticism on his theories since Insights was published, but I still find some value in his work, and think of it as good starting place for understanding the Ilahn Ilahn.

The Ilahn Ilahn tradition stated that they arrived on the spine in a great boat, as travelers from their motherland. This motherland, tentatively referred to as "Ilaiel", was great and golden, but now forever lost. The reasons for their expedition to faraway lands varies wildly. Some say the Ilahn Ilahn were religious exiles, some blame a crooked King who decided all those wiser than him must be sent away, some blame a famine or a plague. Regardless, this set the cultural narrative for the Ilahn Ilahn, that they had a destiny to settle here and carry a past that is irrelevant. Linguistic and genetic testing reveals a distinct difference between the Ilahn and other peoples native to the spine, although no conclusive evidence has been found for their homeland. Interestingly, their closest cousins seem to be the peoples native to the butterfly islands, including the Nahn Fareth. While a great deal of Ilahni records have been preserved, we still are missing keys details of their culture. One reason for this is many of their records seem to be ethnographic for the other cultures of the spine, fascinated with studying how these foreign cultures act and function. This elucidates much about their neighbors, but little directly on how the Ilahni functioned. The best we can do with the records is interpolate what seems to be a collective condescension on the other cultures of the spine. Secular scolars denounced the DLK as superstitious and uncultured, the Aesh and EKR as violent savages, and the Pahel as careless and lazy. Their "equals", the Kiviki were decried as repressive and paranoid, and too close minded to progress further. All the same, there is a certain childlike wonder in the foreign found in certain choice Ilahni texts. These records were stored in the famous academies of the Ilahn city states, which were large structures inhabited by the noble classes. The Ilahni practice of mainith is said to have been discovered in the academies, and they even marked their years before and after the founding of the first Ilahni academy. Some remarks were made of the academies as the final legacy of Ilahni Society, and I don't think I can argue that their legacy was anything different.

-Joseph Fuller

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Stories from the Spine: An Ilahni theory of De-Ole-'e̞ke Magic

The Ilahn Ilahn(ɪlɒn ɪlɒn), who history situates primarily on the western coast of the Spine, have been incredibly important for studying the history of the continent. The Ilahn Ilahn scholar class built massive structures for living and studying known as the "academies". Any substantive writing created at these academies was expected to be replicated and stored in the libraries of another academy. It is for this reason that so much of Ilahni culture has been preserved, along with glimpses of how they viewed the various cultures of the Spine.

One important area of study for the Ilahn Ilahn was that of Magic itself. Before the academies, the practice of ritual circle magic done by the Pahel(pɤ̞hɛl) of the eastern coast and the magic practiced by DLK shamans were both considered completely different practices. The academies grouped both of these forms of magic together, along with the burgeoning form of Ilahni magic and other magical practices which they would become aware of. The academies theorized that magic(which they called nzit) was a universal force which gave every particle and substance its identity. Without magic, everything reverted to a universal base form, a powdery substance called kolpf(the Ilahni word for source). Those who practiced magic were simply harnessing the magic inherent in everything, unlocking the potential within objects and creating an output. Fire, for example, was considered a magical process, as it harnessed the magic inherent in wood and caused it to have an output of heat, leaving the wood reduced to its "source", ash.

DLK magic consisted of a magician holding a set of components in one hand, and a staff in the other. If they performed the correct chant at the correct volume, they could cast a spell directed by the staff. The components would be reduced to dust in the process. The academies theorized that magic could be separated from source by syncing it to a specific rhythm, and that the chanting of magicians simply broke the magic inherent to their objects and settled it upon themselves. Their body then becomes a brief conduit for the magic before it is excised through the staff. This might be an explanation for why practitioners of DLK magic were said to have spells activate on themselves if they did not cast them quickly. DLK magic was known for creating colored smoke, fumes, and flashes of light when a spell was cast, which the academies proposed was the excising of excess magic not necessary to the spell being cast.

There are certainly holes in Ilahni explanations of magic, but their continual study and theorizing shows that the people of the past were no less ingenious and curious than ourselves. Thank you for joining me on another fascinating glimpse of this beautiful continent.

-Joseph Fuller

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Stories from the Spine: De-ole-'e̞ke bipupilism

An often exoticized aspect of the Dé-olé-'eké is the biological phenomena of bipupilism associated with them and their shamanic practices. The usage and casting of DLK spells seemed to cause a specific doubling of the pupil and irises in both eyes. The causes of this medical abnormality are not currently known, but various explanations have been posed, both in classical and modern times. DLK magic was traditionally practiced by shamans, who were held in high religious regard as communicators with dʉ-fʊ-le("unseen unfamiliar ones", typically translated as "spirits" or "lesser gods") within communities. Thus, some shamanic texts posited that the 'ple̞-to'(DLK ple̞("eye") and ta("dual")) were characteristics of the dʉ-fʊ-le̞, which allowed them to perceive their world alongside the human one. Therefore, practitioners developed ple̞-to to better see and interact with the spirit world.

Early into study of the DLK, a popular theory was that bipupilism was a unique genetic quirk of the subgroup, and those who were born with the latent gene could develop it later in life, causing tribes to revere them as shamans. This theory is no longer accepted, as it fails to address the mentions of bipupilism in non-DLK hablogroups on the spine, Kiviki policies describing the ple̞-to as a temporary condition, and DLK shamanic practice stating that shamans begin their careers without any signs of ple̞-to.

The most popular theory towards the cause of DLK bipupilism is still quite challenged for its mystical premise. Arthur Fay of the University of Cambridge proposed that the ple̞-to were a result of the DLK magic. The system of magic is theorized to be connected to rhythms, specifically the syncing of something to two separate ones. Fay theorized that the human body became integrally connected to these dual rhythms, and the ple̞-to was a way the body incorporated them into itself, perhaps to correct for the shock created by constantly syncing to them. While this theory is popular among the more mystically minded of anthropologists, it finds very little evidence. The cause of DLK bipupilism is still a mystery.

In the times the DLK walked the earth and DLK magic was practiced, the ple̞-to denoted an advanced magician. The ganfitha, who used some DLK rituals when traveling, were often described as having split pupils, strange irises, and "goat-like eyes", this is typically attributed to partial bipupilism.

The northern Kiviki kingdoms at various times outlawed the practice of magic --especially practied by the DLK-- and several old law records have been discovered that criminalize those with "abnormal" eyes or pupils. There is further reason to believe any who were found with the ple̞-to may have been exiled or put to death, and those who spoke foreign languages or were thought to have foreign accents were said to have their eyes checked in public spaces. There are several accounts where "goat-eyes" and "split-pupil" are used as insults in Kiviki poetry and stories, perhaps in association with magicians. The late kingdom Kiviki practice of eye-sealing may have come from old anti-magician laws.

Thank you for joining me as I explore some of the more mysterious facets of the forgotten continent.

-Joseph Fuller

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Why’d the tumblr icon stop melting? Why’s it normal again? Why must they take everything from me?

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Stories from the Spine: the Dé-olé-'eké fire tetrad

One interesting fact of the Dé-olé-'eké religion is the delineation of the nu-du(great and foreign) gods of the sky and heavens and the 'a-olé(humanlike) gods of the earth. Of the 'a-olé gods, the most universally worshipped among DLK tribes was the masculine tetrad of Fire and the feminine tetrad of Water.

Today, we will be discussing the former, which seemed to take precedence over the latter, although the extent of this preference has been disputed. The tetrad is connected to the DLK counting system, which utilized the fingers of the hand excluding thumbs, thus centering the number 8. 2 and 4 were considered lucky numbers in DLK culture, while 1 and 3 have at times had negative connotations. Both the tetrad of Fire and Water are associated with a number 1-4, and in both cases the reverence to each deity can be found through the number associated with them.

Zé-ʒa

"The burning one"

"The one eyed god"

"The taker of breath"

"He who glimmers"

"The Vanisher"

"Exiled/Exiler"

"The tattered cloak"

Zé-ʒa is the first of the tetrad, and among the most disliked and mysterious of the DLK religion. He is a malevolent spirit used to explain the sudden appearance of disease. In the tetrad, he represents lightning, which strikes without warning, and the burning sensation of rashes. It is thought that -as a fire god- he is afraid of water, so ritual handwashing and bathing become methods to ward off disease. Zé-ʒa's rare depictions tend to give as little detail as possible, usually his head is wrapped completely in tattered cloth with only his eye exposed. Wherever his flesh is depicted, it is covered in boils. There has been debate on the origin of his name, which is both a common onomatopoeia of lightning and the chant in a lightning invoking spell. Whether the god or the word came first in unclear, but the oldest attested mentions of him tended to avoid any proper name, and perhaps Zé-ʒa emerged as an epithet to avoid saying the now lost "true name".

Thé-kha

"The aged god"

"He whose wisdom is in dark"

"The Grandfather"

"Our friendly skeleton"

"White-haired"

"The lonely teacher"

Thé-kha is the second of the tetrad, and is traditionally revered, despite certain strange or ominous attributes. He is the god of wisdom, the hearth, and is an unofficial patron of the elderly(Thé-kha technically means "old man"). Tradition says he approaches inexperienced travelers struggling to make a fire at night and kindly assists them, only asking for the chance to sit beside the newly made fire in return. When one wakes the next morning, he is always gone. He and Zé-ʒa are the "night" half of the tetrad, so he thought to only be seen at night. Thé-kha is traditionally depicted either as a very old man dressed as a traveler or a skeleton with brown bones, sometimes burning. He represents the warmth and wood of the fire, firewood is sometimes called 'Thé-kha's bones', and straw or moss used as kindling is often called 'Thé-kha's beard'. He is a pleasant and somewhat popular deity, seen as a model for the wise and elderly. There are rare stories of what happens if he is angered, but some tell that if one does not let him sit by their fire, he will briefly flash as a burning skeleton and disappear.

Ha-ré

"The accursed god"

"The burning heart"

"He who is armed"

"Bearer of the ikl'l"

The third of the tetrad, Ha-ré is worshipped and prayed to, but quite disliked. He is the god of warfare and its atrocities, the burning of villages, the blood of the battlefield, and the punishment of the surrendered. He is mainly depicted as a DLK warrior with a glowing, burning heart, even just a lone burning heart floating in the midst of conflict. Warriors commit rituals to him for luck on the battlefield, but during peacetime people swear against his return. Strangely, he is not a vengeful god, as it is quite acceptable to invoke or curse his name. It is theorized that this is because the DLK people saw him as being universally evil, with no preference to his detractors, or that they believed him to approve of his name being cursed. Ha-ré is associated with the wildfire, which burns indiscriminately, leaving ash in its wake.

Jnu-ro

"The handsome one"

"The young god"

"The greying"

"Traveler"

"He whose path is walked forever"

The fourth and most popular of the tetrad, Jnu-ro is sometimes considered a type of folk hero and symbol of the Dé-olé-'eké people. He is the protector of travelers, patron of health, and generally an icon of good fortune. It is said that he takes many forms, most often of a young man(between 10 and 20 winters) who ages quicker the longer he stays in one place. To have Jnu-ro travel with your group is a high honor and a guarantee of your journey's success. In art, he is drawn as a young man clad in a tattered cloak carrying a walking stick in his left hand and having an exotic eye color(either blue, orange, or yellow). He is in myths as a trickster figure, but is rarely violent. One integral DLK tradition is that of the helping of travelers, as any one of them could be Jnu-ro, whose many forms justify the helping of travelers despite any physical characteristics. The exception is armed travelers, as Jnu-ro is said to never carry a weapon. Of the tetrad, he represents smoke, which escapes from the fire to become one with the wind and float forever.

One may notice the Tetrad's secondary associations with travel and the road. Zé-ʒan and Ha-ré may not mention relate to travelers, but do invoke the exiling of the sick and refugees of war. In firsthand accounts, this association is never acknowledged, but it has since become considered a vital part of understanding the fire tetrad. They're opposite, the feminine water tetrad, all has associations with being still or sedentary. Several theories have been posed to explain this, including the relationship between campfires and travel and the fact the fire is always moving and spreading invoking the imagery of travel, but no theories have become universally accepted. Thank you for joining me on this stroll through some of the interesting gods of the Dé-olé-'eké people, I hope you will join me again for more explorations of the lost continent.

-Joseph Fuller

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Stories From the Spine: The name of the Dé-olé-'eké people

The Dé-olé-'eké(DLK) are among the most fascinating groups across the Spine. Originating somewhere in the center of the continent's bottom half, they are thought to have formed from migrations of the southwestern Kiviki and peoples from the Alhethhair mountain range, where the Æsh tribes today reside.

While the Dé-olé-'eké language is is nearly completely distinct, there are several proposed etymologies relating it to a broader Kiviki language group, tenuously named "South Spine". One such etymology is of the Dé-olé-'eké name itself.

Early Kiviki records mention what seems to be a certain type of religious outcast called a Dilivki(pronounced Dee-Live-Key). Linguist Hans Wattsman proposed that the Dé-olé-'eké eponym, used by several groups on the Spine to identify themselves, is comes from this word. Wattsman proposes that the Proto-DLK peoples come an ancient group of Kiviki exiled forcibly for religious reasons, who grew to use the Dilivki term to self-identify.

The DLK spoken language rarely makes use of the v and w sounds, which are even forgone in its script, and it is thought that at several points in time DLK accents may have had trouble pronouncing them. Wattsman proposes that in lieu of pronouncing the v in the original word, a glottal stop looks its place. Furthermore, the shifting of the close vowel pronunciation of "ee" in into a mid vowel pronunciation in DLK is accepted as being a common phenomenon. Thus, an early version of the word may have been "Délé'eké".

The unique syllable breakdown of the word has been attributed to the formation of Pithek, an early script used by the DLK people. As a syllabary, certain words may have been recorded only approximately in Pithek and had their pronunciations shift according to it. Dé-olé-'eké is made up of three Pithek letters:

Interestingly, the second letter, "olé", is quite common in Pithek script, so the word's o sound may have been added for the convenience of using a preexisting letter.

The Dé-olé-'eké are most famous for the specific brand of magic, but understanding the magic of them, like all the magic on the Spine, requires a certain understanding of the people behind it. Thank you for joining me in unraveling the many intricacies of the beautiful lost continent and its people.

-Joseph Fuller

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

My dreams last night were tumultuous, full of screaming and breathing. They are hazy now, but I distinctly remember two great, glowing eyes before me, right before I woke up.

What is going on? These dreams, they felt so real… maybe they’re memories. If so, it’s good I’m getting them back, even if they are vague and unsettling.

I have been doing research in my free time, and nothing about Stuart little recently, nor any mentions of myself as of late. Whatever happened those last two years, I kept a low profile. I found an article interviewing the mouse six months ago, so chance are he might still be alive.

It also seems that they think they’ve found Remy’s killer. It looks like blame is going to some mentally ill anti-France terrorist. Typical, of course they make it political. Idiots. Whoever he is, he apparently has confessed, likely to take credit and advance his movement.

I look down at my forearm and see the scars of the battle. They’re much more faded than before I woke up. In Stuart Little’s interview, they were asking him about his company Little Inc. and its massive growth in the last quarter. Something must be terribly wrong for me to be in squalor while that Rodent skyrockets in influence.

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

I have been taken into a homeless shelter, which I will use as my base of operations for now.

They also gave me some clothing, ill-fitting pants and a shirt & jacket they had lying around, both have stain I don’t want to think about.

I have found out where I am, as well. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. A long call from NYC. How did I get here? I’ve never been to Milwaukee before, but they tell me it gets really, really cold here. It’s been snowing for hours now. I fear what the winter may bring.

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

I know not how, I know not why, but I just awoke on the curb. I do not have any of my earthly possessions, nor memory of the past… 20 months? That feels insane, it can’t be.

What could have caused all of this lost time? My head is aching, I fear I may have sustained some brain damage.

I do not know where I am, it seems to be some city?

All I can really remember is my quest to kill Stuart Little? Did I succeed? I need to know.

First, I need to get some clothes, the people in the library I’m posting this from are starting to stare.

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

I know not how, I know not why, but I just awoke on the curb. I do not have any of my earthly possessions, nor memory of the past… 20 months? That feels insane, it can’t be.

What could have caused all of this lost time? My head is aching, I fear I may have sustained some brain damage.

I do not know where I am, it seems to be some city?

All I can really remember is my quest to kill Stuart Little? Did I succeed? I need to know.

First, I need to get some clothes, the people in the library I’m posting this from are starting to stare.

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

I have located stuart, and researched his strengths and weaknesses, much weaker than Ratitouille, this ordeal should be simple, but I must still be on guard

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Hey Greek mythology side of Tumblr what's the mythology accurate explanation for global warming

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Hot Take:

If Acrylic paint isn’t toxic, then why can’t I slurp it? I want the creative liquid

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Which orb?

I feel like you have some sort of secret powers and you’re keeping them a secret from us

Why would I keep the orb away from anyone?

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

Now that my age long adversary is dead...

I must turn my sights to a new plague...

[the-slayer-of-ratatouille]

The Doctors are coming. I cannot escape them inside my home, my walls do nothing, the doctors are without borders. I fear that I cannot run much longer.