the-life-of-honey-violet

[the-life-of-honey-violet]

Part 3

Granny and Poppy are hoarders. Exactly how you see on the show and exactly what you think. This is something that I have been around since day one and something my husband has been around since his childhood. Funny enough, Granny blames my husband for the previous condition of her house. I say previous, because...we cleaned it. It's annoying that she blames my husband and claims it's all his fault. My husbands stepmother, Jane says it happened after my husband grew up and moved out. I later learned that wasn't true. I found pictures from when my husband was a toddler. In the background you could see the condition of the house. it was not clean at all.

After being a part of their family for so long, I got to experience hoarding first hand. It really affects their minds. A lot of us think it has part to do with their childhood and their generation. They grew up poor and had to suffer in a lot of different ways. Poppy will keep old used napkins. When they have a large stock pile of fresh ones.

They weren't completely happy with the condition of their house but they didn't have a lot of reason or motivation to do anything about it. Granny would try to throw things away or get rid of stuff. She always struggled though. It's a hard condition to get through and overcome. They also don't see any issue with the way they were living. There were so many occasions where we helped clean the house. Sometimes we would get a lot done. Other times, Granny would get overwhelmed and need to stop. She's also older, so she would get in pain and need to step away to rest. In the beginning years she would always stand over my shoulder and watch every single thing I was doing. As the years went on, she would trust me more and more to make good decisions with what to do with her things. Every time we cleaned it would all be piled right back up within a week or so. No matter how much we cleaned. No matter how much time, energy, and effort we spent.

One time we spent 4 hours straight cleaning. Once I stepped back to admire our work, I realized we had only uncovered the couch. I instantly felt defeated. Like it would never get done. Eventually we felt the house wasn't going to get cleaned until after they passed. Still, whenever they asked for help cleaning, we always helped. Often until the middle of the night. Either way, the condition of her house was ALWAYS mine and my husbands fault. Even though it wasn't our stuff and we didn't put that stuff there.

Then Granny fell...

To be continued.

With love,

Honey Violet

[the-life-of-honey-violet]

Part 3

I keep searching for a way to tell you why we cut contact with as little words as possible. I'm honestly not sure how to shorten it. But I definitely don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining this. Haha.

Recently I've started listening to a new audio book about healing from a narcissist. The exact title is Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency, and Complex PTSD. 4 books in 1. By, Linda Hill. Within the first 3 minutes they had Granny down to a T. Which helped confirm my thoughts and feelings.

In Granny's world, she knows all, she's always right, and she is supposed to be the number one priority in my husbands life. Yes, she has said all of these things to us before. The first time she told my husband, "You need to understand that I am THE NUMBER ONE PRIOTORY IN YOUR LIFE ABOVE ALL ELSE!!" My husband responded with, "No you are not! First it's God, then my wife, then my clients, then my family and friends!" She didn't have a response that time. But of course that didn't stop her from saying it again. You can never ever do right for her. There's always something for her to fuss and scream about. She's never satisfied and she's never happy.

I have story to tell you. I think it will help you understand our reasonings. It's kind of a long story. So I will write that in the next part. I might make it into more than one part.

I'll see you next time. Let me know what you think so far on the story that is my life.

With love,

Honey Violet

[the-life-of-honey-violet]

Part 2

Recently we cut contact with my husbands grandparents and aunt Portia. My husband, Grey was raised by his grandparents, Granny and Poppy from childhood. We cut contact for many reasons. Granny has always been a selfish, gaslighting, deceitful, manipulative, narcissistic. It's so bad that I decided to name her Narcissa.

Originally I was going to go with Karen, for obvious reasons. But Narcissa fits so much better. She is the ultimate Karen though. I can't tell you how many times I have seen this women literally cuss at random innocent employees because she's not getting her way. One time she cussed at and flicked off a random Walmart employee because she didn't want to go through self check out. So the employee opened a lane just for her. Granny proceed to verbally abuse this poor employee the entire time. When we were done I asked my husband to walk away with Granny. I stayed behind to apologize to the employee who was very kind and respectful the entire interaction. Once they were out of earshot, I told the employee that she didn't deserve to be spoken to that way, that she didn't do anything wrong, and that I was sorry about Granny's behavior. Granny turned around in the middle of me speaking and literally screamed at me from many registers down. I have no idea how she knew what I was doing. I'm pretty sure she screamed something along the lines of, "Don't you dare apologize to that BITCH!!!" Please understand that individual didn't do a single thing wrong the entire time.

Yes, she has always been like this. A lot of people think it's because she's older and is becoming "senile". It's possible that has a little bit to do with it. But the Walmart interaction was long before she had serious medical stuff happening. She's always been mean. She's always been hateful. She's always been spiteful.

I could go on forever and ever. I promise this is just the beginning of several years worth of stories that I have. They won't all be negative. We actually have a lot of wonderful memories. We had so many laughs. I will always cherish those and remember this with a smile on my face and sorrow in my heart. I think that's why it took my husband and I so long to decide to finally cut ties. We had to do it for our health.

Thank you for reading. Let me know your thoughts. Especially because you don't know me or the people in my life. I've always been curious to hear an outsiders opinion.

Until next time.

With love,

Honey Violet

[the-life-of-honey-violet]

Part 1

Welcome to my blog. Here I will be writing about my life. I plan on using this as another form of therapy and healing. Hopefully some of you find this entertaining or interesting. I'd love to hear others thoughts. Especially if they've been through anything similar.

The stories are all true, but I will be changing the names and locations. Also, this probably won't be in chronological order. I'm going to be writing about what's currently going on in my life and will fill in the information as needed.

I hope you guys stick around for a while and I am excited to go on this journey. This is something I have been wanting to do for a while.