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[holly-fixation]

Perfect Timing

Summary: A newly fused time materia and good intentions leads to a child Silver Soldier and a delayed mako reactor mission. 

Inspired by asks to @prismaticpichu with my very own twists. Instead of Sephiroth suddenly turned into a 3 year old while surrounded by his First Class friends and puppy, he’s time turned back to a 10 year old while literally on Mount Nibel. 

Made with permission.

Please Enjoy.

…

Zack, The Apprentice Puppy, turned into Zack Fair: First Class SOLDIER about two years ago. He lost so much before even making it to First. He lost his mentor. Then he lost his faith in the company he dedicated his loyalty to. Human experimentation, exploitation of mako, the useless war with Wutai, all facts he came to realize as he spent more time at the top. SOLDIER truly was a den of monsters. Angeal, his mentor, and Genesis, former First turned enemy, were proof of that. Shinra lied, manipulated, betrayed. Zack didn't even hate Genesis for going after Shinra. Even after all this time, he hoped he could get through to the Crimson Soldier. Zack childishly and innocently, he knew that's how it seemed at least, still wanted to save everyone. 

That was why he was thankful to be assigned this Mako Reactor mission with Sephiroth. The Silver Soldier was impossible to contact once he locked himself in the data room of HeadQuarters. After finding out both of his closest friends were experimented on by the company he dedicated his life to, no one blamed him for the rash decision. Days, weeks, months. No one heard from him unless the mission was mandatory. Even then, Sephiroth was the best of the best, the top soldier in the company and even the world. He had the option to turn down any mission he wished as long as he could push it on another soldier. 

Sephiroth couldn't reject this mission. Every member of SOLDIER was sent to every mako reactor on the planet, under threat of attack from Genesis and his army along with the extreme rise in monster attacks. Sephiroth and Zack were assigned to Nibelhiem, so that was where they went. They found an escort up the mountain range, a teenage girl named Tifa Lockhart leading two of the world's strongest soldiers and two simple cadets. Of course she had no idea one of those cadets was Cloud Strife, an old childhood friend. 

The mountains threw every natural defense it had at the party of five: hordes of monsters, winding labyrinths of caves, a bridge too weak to hold them all. There was nothing they could do when the other cadet fell into the valley of sharp rocks below instead of the safe path. Sephiroth was the only one who saw the body, urging the rest of the party away from the sight. Still, they went forward, onward in their journey. Everything was unnerving and dark and concerning. Sephiroth was silently on edge with every step they took closer, but Zack was the only one who noticed. The puppy tried to keep spirits light and help his friend whenever he could, but it was difficult with Sephiroth’s desire to control the situation. 

The Silver Soldier took it upon himself to take down every monster in their path, barely giving Zack a chance to respond before their enemy landed at their feet. Finally a Zuu, the massive black feathered creature of the mountains, gave Sephiroth shreds of a challenge with its incredible maneuverability. Zack wanted to help, and he had this extremely powerful Time materia he fused before the mission. Everything about it screamed the ultimate magic. Stop worked for nearly a minute. Haste lasted five. That was absolutely incomprehensible compared to the average time materia he had before. Haste was a fantastic boost for taking out annoying enemies. Zack didn't even ask or warn Sephiroth of the coming spell. Knowing the Silver Soldier, he'd adjust and take the Zuu out instantly. 

However, the materia ‘glitched’, sparking an unidentifiable purple lightning from Zack’s grip. Suddenly Sephiroth was held in the gears of a white Stop spell, frozen inside as the gears glowed brighter and brighter, blinding nearly everything in sight. 

Zack was the first to regain his senses, the glowing still too bright for the Zuu’s hunting eyes. The younger First immediately went to action and took down the monster while it was still stunned. 

Then it got…odd. Really odd. Impossible. How does that even happen?

Tifa and Cloud stared cautiously as the light fizzled, leaving the Silver Soldier in its wake. But a few feet shorter. With a different haircut. And a wee bit younger. 

…Uh oh. 

This was very much not part of the plan. 

It took a moment before the boy’s mind began processing the world around him. This was Sephiroth, yes, at possibly ten years old. His posture and his stance were exactly the same, but his eyes revealed his lack of understanding. He jerked in bewilderment at the entirely unexplainable surroundings. Even the sky seemed like a threat to him as he gripped the massive blade in his hands for dear life with all the strength in his little body. 

Zack was the only one to approach. Both companions held their hands up in surrender and concern. “Shoot. Shoot shoot shoot- I’m so sorry-”

“Who are you?” His little voice mimicked the intense voice they all knew, but it was much higher, lacking the natural intimidation of his baritone nature. 

Zack really felt bad now. There was a small part of this that was cute, seeing all of Sephiroth in a fun size package in and of itself had some adorable nature to it. A large part was sad if his theory was correct. 

“I’m Zack, your friend,” He gestured to the girl and boy. “That’s Tifa and Cadet ‘Spiky’. Are you okay, Sephiroth-?”

“What’s his real name?” He never lost the bite in his voice. “Where am I?”

Zack winced in realization. Big oops. Big oops. He slowly sheathed his sword to his back as he answered carefully, “We’re on the path to Mount Nibel. On the Western Continent.”

The boy tried to hide the shock on his face. 

They definitely needed to turn around. No questions asked. Zack extended a hand calmly, bending down to a knee to be closer to the boy's height. “Let’s head back to Nibelheim and rest up for a bit-”

“Where’s Hojo?” The silver child cut him off sharply.

Why was he concerned about Hojo? Zack knew there was a history between them but it went back this far? “In Midgar. He’s not coming here either.”

Little Sephiroth’s gaze actually softened a bit. Hojo wasn’t here. Hojo wasn’t here? They could see the realization run through his mind. The boy looked up to the sky again, watching how the clouds moved between the peaks of the mountain. Zack couldn’t figure out what else he was trying to determine. 

“Sephiroth?”

He forced his stare to harden again. “I’m not going anywhere until I know who you are.”

Zack accepted immediately and turned to the cadet with an apologetic look. Then he returned to the boy. “I can’t tell you much about them but I can tell you who I am. I'm Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class-”

“I will be the first SOLDIER. That's not possible.”

“We met two years ago on a mission in Wutai.”

“I've never been-”

“Well, maybe not yet you haven't.”

“What are you talking about?”

Zack rubbed the back of his neck. “This is going to sound insane but,” He took a breath, “I tried to use a new time materia to cast Haste on you and it malfunctioned and now you're a child again.”

“...that’s Asinine.”

“Yeah that's how it sounds but that's exactly what happened.”

“How do you mess that up?”

“Hey if you fuse as much materia as I do, you'll see just how much weird stuff you can make.”

The boy hesitated. 

Zack knew the truth was insane but Sephiroth deserved to know, even if he was only nine or ten years old. “Let's go back to the village and rest up. I'll explain everything when we're settled, okay?”

“Is this a test?”

“No, it's not a test.”

“Then why does it feel like a test?”

“Probably because it's confusing and weird.” Zack carefully stepped closer. 

Sephiroth immediately straightened his blade. “Stand back.”

The dark haired First simply moved the tip away with a gloved hand, the boy’s arms shaking in silent protest. “I promise, we’re not gonna hurt you. We just wanna bring you someplace safe, and that sword’s really not your size anymore.”

“I’m not going with you without a weapon.”

Oh. If that was the main concern, that wasn’t a problem at all. Zack turned back to the cadet. “Hey, Spiky, did you bring my old sword?”

The cadet nodded, carefully unsheathing the blade from his own back. It was significantly smaller than both Masamune or the Buster Sword, only a few feet in length with a brass hilt decorated with the SOLDIER logo.

“Would you trade for that one?”

Sephiroth glared analytically at the significantly more manageable blade. “Place it on the ground, and back away.”

The cadet and guide followed the ten year old’s order. 

The boy took deliberate steps while moving the tip of his blade from the First to the smaller but closer cadet, both arms required for the simple shift alone. He took a knee and realized he could not lift both blades at once. Like a snake claiming its kill, he swiftly dropped the massive blade and claimed the smaller one, arriving back on his feet before they could notice the shift. Even if he didn’t like the weight, it was clearly more maneuverable than the massive katana. 

“Alright, good. That works!” Zack wasted no time and walked over for the Silver Soldier’s blade. The young soldier backed away with a deadly glare in his eyes. “Don’t worry. We’re not gonna hurt you, but you might hurt me later if I leave your sword here.”

“That’s mine?”

“Always has been, as far as I know.” Zack replaced the Buster Sword on his back with the Masamune.

His eyes followed the entire length of his supposed blade to the tip. “It’s really long.”

Both Tifa and ‘Spiky’ flinched, but Zack actually laughed. 

“Come on, let’s get moving.” The only First turned to Tifa. “Lead the way.”

She nodded hesitantly before walking ahead, “Oh, r-right. Yes, follow me. I know the another way back.” They all followed, some more willing than others.

“...What’s so funny?” Sephiroth questioned as he followed at the end, still ready to attack them all if necessary, but Zack wasn’t worried at all, brushing him off with a smile.

“It’s just funny. I asked you the exact same question and you know what you told me?”

“Of course not.”

“‘Nothing can strike back if they can’t get in range. You need to be able to take anything down in one blow’. Do you know what you fought when you told me that?”

“No.”

“A behemoth,” Zack laughed. “Something tells me it’s more than that and you just don’t wanna tell me, but that’s just my guess.”

Sephiroth huffed, glancing away and regretting asking in the first place. This dark haired man was weird. This ‘First Class’ kind of reminded the silver boy of a brown haired little girl with a bow he was forced to spend time with. Maybe that was why he was willing to follow. 

* * * 

Battles throughout the mountain range certainly took longer with only Zack on the job. Sephiroth clearly debated joining against the monsters, but the strange world around him and the strange situation in general had the boy backing away a bit in fear. Or he was trying to find a moment to escape, despite the long, long swim to Midgar if he tried. Luckily they all made it back to the town, Zack brushing off some significant scratches but everyone else squeaky clean. 

Once in the village, Zack had no choice but to put Spiky in charge of explaining the situation to the locals. 

“Due to unforeseen circumstances, SOLDIER operatives are waiting one more day before approaching the reactor. They will continue to protect the village within their extended time here. The situation will be cleared as soon as possible with departure tomorrow morning.” Cadet Spiky repeated this message like an answering machine, devoid of life, emotion, and answers to any questions he did not already state in his explanation.

In the meantime, Tifa helped sneak the little Sephiroth into the inn with Zack. They only claimed the boy was a lost child and that Sephiroth stayed behind to clear out more monsters. Knowing the feats of the Silver Soldier, no one questioned his ability to stay behind and decimate any monster forces. They were confused when they found any clean look at the child in a First Class uniform but received no further details on what he was. Tifa left the two SOLDIERs once they were beyond the door and out of sight, leaving to tell her father she was back for another day and any updates she could give without slipping up about the ten year old Demon of Wutai.

On the second floor of the inn, Sephiroth suddenly stopped in his tracks. Zack jumped back and searched out the same window the boy couldn't stop staring out. 

“What did you see? Another dragon? Which way did it go?”

The questions seemed to snap the boy back to reality. “N-no. It wasn't a monster.” He clearly forced his gaze down. “I apologize.”

Zack brushed his unneeded apology off. “Don't worry about it. You didn't do anything wrong. But what did you see? You seemed a little lost in thought there.”

Sephiroth swallowed and let his eyes return to the landscape. “It's just… It's familiar. The mountains. And the trees.”

Zack nodded. Right, this exact moment happened before they left, but the boy before him didn't remember anything about being a SOLDIER. He tried to justify Sephiroth's feeling while also moving him toward their room, “...Deja vu's weird like that. It's nothing to worry about. It's just how it is.”

That single word jerked his attention to the First. “'Deja vu'?”

“Yeah,” Zack answered casually as he held the door open. “It's that creepy feeling you get when you think you've been somewhere before.”

“Hm.” Sephiroth didn't respond beyond a small hum, only glancing down and walking to the room. He gave a perplexed look at the three beds against the wall, the room much larger than he expected.

“What’s wrong?” Every word out of the dark haired man’s mouth left without judgment. “Oh shoot, are you hungry? Thirsty?”

“N-No.” The child met his eyes. “...Why is there more than one?”

“Oh, it's a small town, so this is kind of the entire inn.”

“That doesn't explain the single large room.”

“For heating reasons. There's only one fireplace. Can't have travelers freezing to death just because they want personal space.”

Sephiroth couldn't agree, never really bothered by temperature. He just crossed his arms in a huff. 

Zack waved him over while plopping on the bed closest to the window. He gestured to the bed next to him. “Go ahead. We have a lot to talk about when you're ready.”

The boy only took half the suggestion. He stood between the two beds, refusing to show the vulnerability this SOLDIER was clearly fine with displaying. He stayed silent, not moving a muscle as he continued scanning the room for any oddities. 

“Let’s start with the basics,” The man interrupted the concerned look in his eyes. “How old are you?”

Sephiroth’s arms tightened, his head shifted down a bit. “I. I don’t know.”

After waiting a moment in silence, Zack realized the boy was waiting for him to continue their discussion. If he thought Sephiroth was quiet before, the Silver Soldier was silent unless spoken to back then. “So, what's the last thing you remember? You know, before suddenly appearing here.”

He was still quiet, a calculated pause before every answer. “...I was about to sleep.”

Okay. Alright. This was going to take a while, wasn't it? Not a problem. This boy was just a lot more sheltered than the man he knew. Zack just needed to be specific. “How about, what did you do today? I know you like schedules.”

For some reason, even such a basic question hitched his breath. He turned down and away, trying to avoid any gaze from the mako blues. 

“What's wrong?”

The boy's will hardened, an almost teenage defiance creeping into his voice. “Shouldn’t you know this already if you know me so well?”

“You don't talk about your childhood. Believe me, I asked. I don't know what it was but… the way you avoided it… it wasn't good.”

He went quiet, contemplating silently. 

“But did something happen 'yesterday'?”

His arms tightened. “...it wasn’t a good day.”

“What happened?”

The boy shifted anxiously, gripping the tight leather of his coat. Zack's eyes still held their…emotion filled gaze. He clearly expected something different. “...why do you care…?”

“Because in this time, you're my friend.” He stated simply. The small beat allowed Sephiroth to process his words. “And you probably feel like you’ve just been kidnapped. Which is fair.”

“'Kidnapped'?”

Zack swore he always received the fastest responses when the boy didn't understand something. “Stealing a person.”

He huffed softly. “Is it still considered stealing if it’s better…?”

The black haired man's heart broke. 

Sephiroth just shook his head. “I apologize. That's a useless question.”

“No question is a useless question.”

He winced, but finally, the boy sat on the bed. The extreme control in his eyes faded ever so slightly to what Zack immediately recognized as exhaustion. 

“When was the last time you slept?”

He fidgeted a bit. “...Um. Last night.”

“And you suddenly appeared here before you went to bed?”

“...Yes.”

“Oh my gods, dude, go to sleep!”

Inhuman eyes stared at him immediately. 

Zack actually jumped to his feet, startling the boy a bit from the movement. “I’m serious. Look, I'll sit in the hall. Just don't crawl out the window and you can have the whole room to yourself, okay?”

“What if I want to go somewhere?”

“Just let me know and I'll take you. You're not a prisoner here. I just don't want anything to happen to you.”

Those simple words warmed Sephiroth's chest. Zack could see it in the way the boy's shoulders curled in on himself. 

“Look, you'll get this whole room to yourself. Set it up however's comfortable and take whichever bed you want. Bathroom's right there so you don't even have to leave. Sound good?”

Sephiroth gave a soft nod, still not looking anywhere near the SOLDIER. 

“Alright.” Zack jogged backwards toward the door to continue facing the boy. “Knock three times if you need me. I'll be right here.” With another small nod from the small Sephiroth, he closed the only door to the room. 

In the hallway, Zack messaged 'Spiky' on his phone, giving the cadet new orders for how to help with their new mission number one. 

* * * 

Gods that boy could sleep. That or he really wanted to be nocturnal. 

Sephiroth only knocked long after the sky turned dark, and Zack opened the door to a perfectly uniformed Silver Soldier. He almost looked like he was dressing-up as his favorite hero, even though he literally was said hero. The entire room behind him was comically clean, even cleaner than it was when they checked into the inn two nights ago. Every bedspread had perfect corners and symmetrical pillows, each one practically a copy of the other. The curtains were drawn, and not a speck of dust littered the floor. What did he clean with? Where did the dust even go?

None of this changed the simple fact that Sephiroth was still a pre-teen. 

“Hey, Sephiroth,” Zack called in a slightly concerned but mostly casual voice. “Did you sleep well?”

“What time is it?”

Zack shrugged. “Eh. 2200 hours.”

His eyes widened before they fell in disappointment. “Oh. I apologize.”

“You've literally been dragged to the future. Well, basically. Either way you completely deserve a day of rest.”

“I'm not supposed to rest. I'm supposed to be perfect.”

Zack placed a hand on the boy's shoulder and Sephiroth flinched immediately, but he didn't try to attack or move. Zack slowly let go, releasing the boy carefully after realizing his mistake. He did not mean to startle him. “You're more than perfect. You're human. And that matters so much more.”

Sephiroth's brows turned in confusion and sadness. Zack's message didn't make sense. 

“Now come on. Let's get you some grub.”

The boy shifted awkwardly, a small pout forming on his adolescent features. “Can't I just eat it here?”

“Uh, no,” Zack gave a kind smile in return and a small chuckle. “Spiky's really helping us out with this. We're going to him.”

Now his gaze hardened. “Who is he.”

“I'll tell you when we get there. Come on.” 

Sephiroth followed a respectable distance behind the First as they traveled across the small town. It was weird, but different, seeing the world like this. And the sky. The boy stopped in his tracks around the water tower. Zack turned back and saw exactly why. 

His cat-like eyes twinkled in reflection of the stars above them. 

Zack gave a light hearted chortle. “Yeah, can't get a view like this in Midgar.”

“They're beautiful...” The boy spoke breathlessly. And he was right. The way the legs of the galaxy arched across the sky in celestial blues and greens could capture anyone, or even make them think of their place in the universe. 

Zack allowed the boy a few minutes to just look, watching for any villagers that may question who the boy was. However, with the monsters along with their backwater town culture, most citizens already checked in for the night. 

He just looked so happy. The First let him enjoy the moment until his stomach growled. 

“Alright, come on. The stars aren't going anywhere. I promise.”

This time he really did pout as he followed the suggestion, walking behind Zack into a small home. 

Apparently, this was Spiky's home. And Spiky's real name was Cloud Strife. For reasons Sephiroth could not understand, Cloud did not want to be recognized by anyone in the village. The nickname 'Spiky' was Zack's way of honoring the request. Thus, the silver soldier followed into their home and remained unseen under the promise of a meal. Cloud's mother, Claudia, couldn't resist the sight of the tiny war hero, making jokes about the abnormality of the situation and just how small Sephiroth used to be. Sephiroth quietly dealt with her comments, waiting for his single meal to appear in front of him. 

But what was that smell? It was really, really different. Not bad, but why was it like that?

“Here, I know this is all you've been waiting for,” Claudia joked as she filled a bowl with some kind of liquid-esc meal from a pot.

He didn't say anything, analyzing the strange substance as she placed the bowl in front of him. 

“It's a Nibel Deer stew,” She explained with a kind smile. “One of Cloud's favorites ever since he was a little boy. It’s perfect for a growing boy like you.”

Though her words were clearly intended to be kind, the boy glanced at the cadet for confirmation. The cadet stood shorter than the First. He didn't say anything, but Cloud glanced down in embarrassment at the realization. 

Sephiroth looked back down at the bowl, confused by the various islands within the liquid. They were so many different colors,  most cubic or spherical. Again, it was different. “...What's in this?” He asked curiously. 

“Oh, just some venison, carrots, potatoes, onions, a few spices, and a bit of wine for the broth.”

Zack leaned over to Cloud and whispered, “Do you think he'll like it?”

“We didn't have any pasta so we'll just have to see…” The cadet looked away, clearly embarrassed. 

Another confused countenance claimed his face before he began poking the islands. They didn't act the way he expected either, piercing from the soft pressure of a spoon rather than bouncing in gelatinous rebellion. “...you added wine to a meal?”

“Yes! Wine is good for flavor. And don't worry, you can't get drunk off of cooked wine.” Claudia's small town banter and soft joking shake of the boy's shoulder made Cloud hide his face in his scarf. 

Sephiroth, like a nervous kitten, slowly scooped one cube of meat in half and took it to his mouth. Then he chewed, and time ticked by. He still chewed, contemplating, discovering, deciding. The intense silence bore into all the bystanders. 

“Sir, I apologize for the lack of pasta, but I promise if you just give it a shot-”

Sephiroth devoured the plate before the mother could even finish her statement. Silence claimed them except for scraping of the spoon against the bowl, clearly debating deep in his mind. 

Zack didn't even know what to say, but Claudia took over again.

“Oh I'm so glad you like it!” Her voice rang full of joy but Sephiroth gave her a nearly pleading look between glances of the remaining broth. Was he debating whether or not to lick the bowl? “Do you want more?”

“Yes please,” came his simple but by far his fastest response since he suddenly lost his years. He even held his bowl out with a kitten-like beg in his eyes. 

Zack let out a hearty laugh, taking the bowl and handing it to the blonde mother. Claudia just couldn't wipe the proud smile off her face at the boy's enjoyment. She didn't mind a single bit when he polished off the entire pot. The poor boy didn't speak much, but his enjoyment remained undeniable. It took all the mother had not to pitch his cheeks and call him out for how cute he truly was. 

* * * 

The next morning, waking with the rising sun to begin the escort, a single command was decided immediately, no word from HQ able to change their mind even if HQ was informed in the first place. Sephiroth was still a child and showed no sign of returning to his true age any time soon. The only change he mentioned were weird dreams of being 'called' to something, a woman with blue skin and red eyes. Odd? Yes. Worth delaying even longer? No. But Zack couldn't afford to push the mission back with the sake of the townspeople at stake, so he came up with a plan using the only other Shinra employee he arrived with. The first half of said plan was Zack and Tifa going to the reactor alone. Yes it was more dangerous with only the two of them, and Tifa mainly hid during every battle under Zack's direct order, but knowing that the bridge was out allowed Tifa to map out the most efficient path from the start. This time, Zack left his time materia behind, and they finally arrived at the reactor. 

“Alright, come on in,” The First immediately suggested as he walked ahead. 

“Wait, I can go in?” Tifa grew confused. 

“Yes. Why wouldn't you?”

“The cadet said it was ‘full of Shinra secrets’,” She mocked in the cadet’s tone before continuing, “and I should wait outside once we got here.”

“And under normal circumstances, he'd be right. But I'm not leaving you in monster infested mountains by yourself. That's a horrible idea!”

She gave a soft nod and followed inside, the stench of mako overwhelming and dizzying. Now Zack took the lead, guiding them to what should be the control room, but it had all these strange pods along with the valves and gauges he needed to fix. Zack quickly ran through his mental checklist of what to fix, starting with sealing the valves. As he did, Tifa noticed the stairs in the center and saw the marquee over the top door. 

“Uh, Zack?”

“What's up?”

“Do you know what 'Jenova' is?”

My mother's name was Jenova. She died shortly after I was born. Sephiroth's true voice, the baritone the planet could recognize, ran through Zack's mind. He looked up and suddenly made a connection he should have known earlier. 'Jenova cells'. 'The Jenova Project'. 'Jenova'. He felt something shift in the air, a slight change that spelled doom. 

A black feather.

Oh no. Genesis. 

Zack jumped in front of Tifa and shielded her from the sudden fire spell with his body. He fell to the ground with a yell and she kneeled at his side to help him. 

Then it came, floating down from above, the owner of the feather, the Crimson SOLDIER First Class with his degrading body and his unchangeable goal. “Well well. What's the little puppy doing here on his own?”

“Genesis… So you are alive…” 

A contempt filled smirk was the only response to the First's realization. “I suppose I am. Where's Sephiroth? He was assigned to this mission, was he not?”

“...He's a little under the weather…” Zack mumbled in pain, but the look in Tifa's eyes revealed both her own fear and the half truth out of the Soldier's mouth. 

“I'm not in the mood to play, puppy,” venom dripped from his words. 

“I'm not exactly wrong.” Zack stumbled to his feet with the girl's help. 

Genesis sighed. “Fine. If you want to waste my time, then you need to keep me entertained.” His red blade glowed at the ready. 

Zack immediately told Tifa to stand back and drew the Buster Sword. 

But the First failed. 

A few parries that were too late. A few dodges and blocks that just weren't good enough. Magic negated, injuries growing on their skin. Each only needed to inflict more severe injuries on the other to decide a victor. 

And by all the gods was the wrong victor chosen.

Genesis launched Zack against the wall, and the black haired boy fell with all air stripped from his lungs. Tifa ran to his side yet again to try to help him up. 

“Where is Sephiroth?” The Crimson Soldier questioned before throwing another fire spell straight into the First, Zack falling again with a yelp of pain as Tifa yelped once in horror. “Tell me or I will destroy this useless town right now.”

“He's at the inn!”

“Tifa! No!” Zack tried to stop her but she couldn't watch her home be destroyed, not if it only took a few words to save it. 

“Where?” Genesis questioned. 

“The one in Nibelheim! Right by the water tower! Just take Sephiroth and leave!”

Though Genesis had little intention of following her lead, he did turn towards the exit. “If this is a trick, your people will burn.”

“It's not a trick! He's with a Shinra security officer at the inn in the center of town! Cadet Spiky!”

Degrading mako eyes turned to the SOLDIER. “Is this the truth, puppy?”

“If you dare touch him-” Zack growled through bloody teeth, but Genesis cut him off with a hand in the air. 

“Protective of Sephiroth now, are you?” At first, the man couldn't help but mock, yet he quickly grew serious. “Regardless, I have no plans to harm him. He is the key, the perfect monster made from Jenova's cells. He's the answer to degradation, after all this time. There is no hate, only joy. For you are beloved by the goddess. Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds...” With a verse from the poem dictating his life, the one winged man in red flew through the corridors and out of the reactor. 

Zack pushed himself up, Tifa attempting to support, as he looked up to the nameplate above the door. “Tifa,” He handed her an enhanced fire materia, “take this and break down that door…”

“Y-You're not mad?”

“Whatever's behind that door is more important… We have to get rid of the source…”

She took the materia as the soldier regained his strength, running up the stairs and trying to open the door normally. But it was sealed. Fire glowed in her hand as she casted and casted to break it down, only gaining a red glow in response instead of the collapse they needed. She was no mage, but she had the strength to keep trying.

Eventually, Zack placed a hand on her shoulder as he stepped forward. He unsheathed the Buster Sword and launched forward, cutting the weakened metal clean in half. 

On the other side, they found a humanoid machine with metal wings connecting it to the walls. They destroyed the doll, the lights activating and revealing a woman-like body with blue skin and one glowing red eye. 

“Oh my gods…” Zack mumbled in both horror and realization, everything clicking into place as he read the nameplate screwed into the forehead of the monster: J-E-N-O-V-A.

* * * 

The second part of their initial plan was leaving Sephiroth with Cloud in the inn, Masamune resting nearby until her true owner was ready. They were not to leave except for finding meals. Sephiroth could not be spotted like this, lest they be hit with heavy repercussions due to media outlash and viral questions. He needed to be himself again before rumors truly spread. Luckily, their time together wasn't terrible. Perhaps the stew from the previous night made the boy feel a little closer to the cadet, and Sephiroth began talking about his life. Cloud always looked up to Sephiroth, the war hero, so he wasn't going to miss the opportunity to learn more about him. 

“Life seems… quiet, in this town,” Sephiroth observed with a small mumble, glancing out the curtains in short increments at a time. 

“Not a lot happens here,” Cloud forced his voice steady, still a bit nervous talking to his hero even under the current circumstances. “Midgar's much more exciting.”

“...is it?” The boy seemed hollow, and Cloud glanced at him in confusion. “I wouldn't know. I'm not allowed in the city.”

“Well… where can you go?” The blonde tried to keep the conversation going casually. Tried. 

Now any silence before his answers weren't awkward, they were just a result of the boy developing answers. “...My room. The exam room. The training room. …'their' room…” Sephiroth caught the look in Cloud's eyes. “Where did you go here?”

The cadet picked up on these silent requests quickly. Eye for an eye. Information for information. It felt less like an interrogation that way. “Usually we stayed within the town square. I spent more time in the woods and the mountains when I got older.” Now more questions were allowed. “Who’re 'they'?”

Sephiroth's enhanced eyes fell. “...Aerith and Ifalna. Hojo said they're special, like me.”

“Wait, 'Aerith'?”

Inhuman eyes met pure blue ones. “Yes.”

“Isn't that Zack's girlfriend?”

“...that seems unlikely. He never mentioned a 'girlfriend' to me. And she's younger than me. That's weird.”

Cloud took out his phone and started searching through his messages. “Well, remember, you're a lot older than ten right now. You're older than Zack.”

“I am?”

Cloud nodded. “By a couple of years at least.” He walked over and handed the boy his phone. “Here. This is a photo of Aerith and Zack. He sent it to me after this mission was announced.”

On the screen was a photo clearly taken by a third party. Zack and the girl were sitting on a bench in a stone building. Zack had an arm around her shoulder, her brown hair draped over her shoulder in a spiral braid. They were smiling, and her planet green eyes shown like emeralds against the pink of the bow in her hair.

“That's her…” He was breathless, grabbing the phone tightly for a better view. “That's definitely her.” He turned to Cloud instantly like an owl, his eyes wide and desperate. “How is she? Is she okay?”

Cloud held his hands up in surrender. “I don't know- I think so. Zack's the best person to ask.”

He looked at her image with pain and regret. “Last I saw her, I… I hurt her… I'm glad to hear she's okay…”

“What happened?” Cloud asked hesitantly. 

His hands were shaking, his eyes glazed. “We were playing, but I was tired… I fell asleep and she let me… I think she was singing and I hate singing but I was too tired to care… and then… I…” He went quiet. 

The blonde held out his hand in offering, the silver child closed the phone and handed it over. He carefully, very carefully, tried to touch the boy's arm in comfort, but he was jerked away. 

“I didn't mean to… I didn't want to… I was just so scared and-”

“Sephiroth-”

“It was just a nightmare- it was just a nightmare but it felt so real-”

“Sephiroth, it's okay-”

“Red eyes and blue skin- It grabbed me and I had to fight it- I had to-!”

Moving on pure instinct, Cloud grabbed Sephiroth's arms and threw caution to the wind, a command he didn't even know he was capable of leaving his throat, “SEPHIROTH, LOOK AT ME!” 

The Silver Soldier froze, his eyes slowly clearing as he stared at the blonde in surprise. Reality began setting in just before an unseen force pierced into his skull. “I'm sorry- I'm sorry- Ah-!” Gloved hands flew into his silver hair as he tried to back away. 

Cloud tried to keep him close, scanning him for the source. “What is it? What's wrong?!”

“My head-!” He yelped, gripping and pulling in a useless attempt to rip out the pain. “It burns! Everything burns!” He pushed Cloud back, stumbling back to avoid the cadet. 

Then something broke through the window, and Cloud jumped and wrapped himself around the boy in protection, his shirt ripping from the shards but his body protected by armor. Both the blonde and a horribly wincing Sephiroth scanned for the projectile, their eyes landing on a single brass bullet. 

Oh no. Another monster attack?

The cadet guided the young soldier to a bed before rushing to a window. 

Now Sephiroth was grabbing his arms, trying to fight this flaming distraction with pathetic groans and grunts. “W-what happened?”

Cloud ripped the curtains out of the way just in time to see a winged man in a red coat enter straight through the door of the inn. There was no time to leave. “Ready your weapon and face the door. Something's coming.”

The silver soldier unsheathed his blade and the cadet readied his rifle. Both trained their eyes on the entrance as it opened far too casually, but Sephiroth's right hand remained gripping the main source of his phantom pain.

In walked the Crimson Soldier, his red hair leaking with grays and his back cursed with a single, crooked black wing. He brushed off his black pauldrons. “You know, this town isn't very friendly to outsiders.”

“Commander Rhapsodos?” Cloud didn't even realize he recognized the red headed First through his filter of degradation. 

“Ah, you must be Cadet Spiky.”

Cloud glared away. “It's Strife.”

“Alas, I do not care,” Genesis brushed him off before drawing his blade, gesturing to both the cadet and the unclaimed Masamune. “Now where's Sephiroth?”

The child stepped forward, and Genesis almost laughed. 

“You might be a cute cosplayer, but stand down, child.”

“I. Am. Sephiroth,” the pained boy countered through gritted teeth. “What do you want.”

The specific crack of the child's voice sparked a memory to the forefront of his mind. “Goddess…” He scanned the boy sharply, but every detail told him the truth. “Answer me this, what do you eat for every meal?”

The boy hesitated, his wincing only growing. “I…? Food…? The meat's not that bad…?”

Only known to the Crimson Soldier, those were the exact words Sephiroth used when they first met in Wutai, right before he promptly stole and threw the barely recognizable 'food' and cooked the Silver Soldier a proper meal with an old friend. “You poor thing… I do regret having to ask, but I don't have enough time left. I need your help, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth stumbled back with a sudden scream, clawing at his own head. 

Genesis stepped forward, trying to coax the boy, but Cloud actually backed away. Something was wrong. Very very wrong. 

His caution was proven justified when Sephiroth savagely attacked. The ambush caught the Crimson Soldier off guard, each of the boy's feral slashes going straight through every defense, never ending screams leaving the boy's throat. Sephiroth was desperate, lashing, clawing, chopping anything in range as he cried out despite the lack of any injuries suffered. 

“Stop it! Stop it! Make it stop! Don’t let me die!” The boy kept yelling utter nonsense as he tore through the man directly in front of him. His inhuman eyes glowed bright red.

That sudden, desperate strength somehow overpowered the degrading SOLDIER. Genesis retreated before he was killed. 

Cloud watched the pain and terror that consumed Sephiroth fade slowly. Only a few minutes after the escape, the boy fell to his knees, gripping his heart and sobbing softly as tears ran down his cheeks. Cloud carefully approached, barely tiptoeing to not spook the boy. 

His panicked breaths never stopped, his arms held tightly to his chest as he rocked back and forth. “W-what's happening…? What happened…? I… I…”

The blonde knelt down slowly and placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, but he instantly found himself trapped in the child's embrace. 

“I'm so alone…” He just kept repeating that single sentence as he pulled closer. “I'm s-so alone…”

His heart seized. Cloud felt his arms wrap tighter around the boy, around his hero. “You're not alone… You're not alone, Sephiroth… We're with you… We're here…”

* * * 

Zack and Tifa returned an hour after Genesis left. Sephiroth had passed out in Cloud's arms, and Cloud eventually got the boy into one of the beds. At this point, Cloud's helmet was off, and Tifa absolutely saw him. There was a lot of explaining to do, first revealing everything that happened in their short time at the reactor before accepting that it was time for the truth. Despite his embarrassment, the two teens left the room to the two real SOLDIERs.

When Sephiroth woke, this constant worry and discomfort seated itself in his chest. Zack said nothing, but he recognized the timeline of events and each sudden shift in the boy's tone and pain connected directly with the body of Jenova. No, they didn't speak of the afternoon. 

They spoke about Aerith. 

“You know Aerith?! You never told me you knew her!”

The boy in front of him kind of shrugged. 

“Right, of course. Sorry. What did you two do?” 

“We were…forced to play together? It was weird.”

“Come on! Let's try to talk to her.”

“How?” His eyes went wide. 

“On the phone!” Zack showed off the same device Cloud had before. “You can talk to anyone else with a phone at any time! Just gotta make sure the call goes through.”

He gave an awkward nod, but he was grateful for the distraction nonetheless.

Zack quickly dialed a number and crossed his fingers he prayed for a ring. The necessary purring finally went through and the joy on his face was undeniable. 

Sephiroth guessed Zack and Aerith's joy were a perfect fit. 

“Hello?” A woman's voice came through the device. She was definitely older than he remembered if this was truly the same Aerith. 

“Hey Aerith, it's me,” He couldn't hide his toothy grin. 

“Zack?! Yay! You finally got through!”

“I did. I told you I would. And I have so much to tell you, but first I have a surprise for you.”

“For me?”

Sephiroth gripped at his long coat in a pathetic effort to ease his nervousness. 

“Yup yup! An old friend.”

“So far away?”

Zack nodded, though obviously she could not see it. “Right again! Well, I already knew him a little but I didn't know he knew you. The last time you saw him, you were probably…” He scanned Sephiroth's form and did a few quick calculations in his head, “six? Maybe seven?”

“Now who could you meet that knew me that long ago?” They could clearly hear the smile in her voice. 

Zack chuckled. “Well, funny story. Had a bit of an oopsie with time materia earlier, so now they're really young, but they still remember you!”

“So there's no way I could guess?”

“Not a chance. I'm gonna put him on speaker, okay?”

“Alright.”

Zack hit a button and held the device flat in front of them before nudging Sephiroth a bit. “Alright, this is him!”

The boy curled a bit, trying to hide from his own anxiety. “...Um… H-hi, Aerith. It's probably been a long time for you... Um… D-do you. Remember me?” Good gods he stuttered more speaking to this girl than he did through his entire time here. 

There was a pause on the line. 

“...Waaaait… is your hair made of metal stars?”

That strange comment actually made him sigh in relief, clearly an inside joke or an old memory. “That's me.”

“Sephiroth?!”

He nodded. “Y-yes.”

“Zack, what did you do to him?! He sounds like a child!”

“Time materia,” Zack gave the simplest explanation. “He's about ten years old and doesn't remember anything after that. We're kinda waiting for it to wear off.”

“You need to be more careful with your synthetic materia.”

“How did you know that?”

“You showed me the high jump-frog one!”

He did, in fact, fuse Jump materia and Transform materia for fun to see what would happen. “Okay, you got me there. But talk to him! He seems really worried about you.”

“Wait, worried?” There was a pause. No one on either side tried to fill it. “…Oh. You haven't gone to Wutai yet.”

Sephiroth nodded, unable to read the emotion she responded with. “I'm still in training.”

“How's it going?”

“Th-the same.”

“Are you sleeping better?”

His throat hitched. She knew. Of course she knew. He was the only one with missing memories. “...Aerith, I'm so sorry-”

“Sephiroth, it's okay. We were okay. I just wanted to know for sure if they treated you better. And don't worry, you apologized right before you left for Wutai.”

“I see you again?”

“Mhm. So don't screw it up, okay?”

It was a little more mature, but every word she said gave him the same butterflies in his stomach. “I won't. …um… how are you?”

Another audible smile. “I'm good. I have a garden in a church in the slums where I grow those flowers I told you about.”

His lips curled in an unintentional smile. “Can I see them one day?”

“Of course! Please do! I promise, they're not going anywhere.”

His smile slowly faded as his final question popped into his head. “And how's Ifalna?”

Zack gave him a confused look and the moment between her answer was shadowed. 

“She passed away years ago.”

His inhuman eyes grew wide with guilt. 

“It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault at all.”

He stared down, grabbing his arm like a vice.

“Zack, did you tell him about our flower cart?”

The dark haired man immediately took control of the conversation, pulling it away from the dark despair pit. “I haven't! Hold on, I have pictures and I swear every single part of this cart has its own story.”

Zack's puppy-like energy seeped some joy back into the silver child, and their joyous reunion lasted hours into the night. 

* * * 

The next morning, the Silver Soldier finally returned to his full age and glory. Zack watched him rise and gave a little bit of space before gesturing to the waiting Masamune. Sephiroth lifted her without a word, but there was this discomfort that persisted through the transition. A loneliness.

“How are you feeling, buddy?”

Sephiroth took a deep breath and scanned up his blade, many beats ticking by as he thought of a response, before saying a command Zack never expected to hear. “...Be kind to her, Zack.”

Zack didn't resist the urge to hug his friend. “I will be. I promise.”

The phantom hollowness in Sephiroth's heart filled just a bit when he wrapped his arms around the boy in return.

.

.

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Author's note: I still don't know how to write Genesis so you might just be getting Ardyn with Loveless quotes even though I haven't written Ardyn before. I also may have imagined the Zuu from XV and not VII while writing this. Oopsie lol.

It is very hard for me to avoid Jenova when in Nibelheim so I hope you enjoyed this new take on the usual mess!

[kpop-locks]

꒰ ˀˀ ↷ secret number: doomchita”♡ᵎ ꒱

like/reblog | @nekdnblock

don’t repost our work or claim it as yours

[soulmateszedits]

Zuu - Secret Number ; simple

Requested | -Rocky

Credit: PSD

[rapwave]

NEW POST: Denzel Curry - ZUU (Album Stream) (https://www.rapwave.net/2019/05/30/denzel-curry-zuu-album-stream/)

[totalvibration]

55 Albums Released in 2019 That Splash Oat Milk In My Earl Grey

This year felt like slo-mo, a holding pattern and a fast-forward button stumbling towards unknown ends. I spent the early months in paternal bliss and sleep deprivation, caring for my newborn daughter, then spent the rest of the year running to slow down… to make the most of small moments with my family, to juggle that thing every lifestyle magazine calls the work-life balance, to know when I need help and being willing to ask for it, to making priorities with loved ones. 

Also, after years of oolongs and a staunch no-milk-in-tea-except-milk-teas policy, I started putting honey and oat milk in my Earl Grey, an old tea standby that's felt warmly familiar in colder months. Similarly, I dug my heels into familiar-to-me gnarly metal, deep drone and abrasive punk this year, uninterested in poptimist takes on indie-rock. In an effort to maximize more time with new family and less with bulls***, I leaned hard into my Viking's Choice column at NPR Music (which went weekly!) to shout out underground debauchery and beauty to anyone who would listen. 

Below are 55 albums (and a few reissues and archival releases) that hit me in different ways over 2019. No ranking, just links out to Bandcamp where available. They come paired with emoji because that's a thing I do on Twitter. 

See also:

Viking's Choice: The Year In The Loud And The Weird (my annual year-end episode of All Songs Considered)

20 Punk Albums Released In 2019 That Flip Eggs, Pick Up Chains

20 Metal Albums Released In 2019 That Bluurgh Over Sick Riffs

A nine-hour playlist of 2019 jamz 

But first, some stray thoughts:

Ta-Nehisi Coates' still-ongoing Captain America run has been extremely rewarding. A beloved superhero comes to terms with the line between patriotism and nationalism as Coates underlines that American progress often comes from reluctance. 

Daniel Warren Johnson's Murder Falcon spoke to me not only as a metalhead who loves cartoonishly kick-ass violence, but also as a dude with a tender heart… that final issue still gets me in the feels. 

Krzysztof Kieślowski's Three Colours is secretly a trilogy of movies about the loving, painstaking process of creation, specifically music. I'd never seen any of them until paternity leave (and a sleeping baby) gave me hours to binge long-neglected to-watch lists. In 1993's Blue, in particular, a composition mirrors the grief of Juliette Binoche in an exquisite performance. 

Tiny Desk concerts I produced for NPR Music in 2019: American Football (with a children’s choir!), Thou, Erin Rae, Carly Rae Jepsen (sort of), Jimmy Eat World and Mount Eerie (videos coming in 2020). 

There’s a gallery at Glenstone, a truly stunning museum experience, that’s literally just a room full of books, a sculpted wooden bench and a large window that looks out on the rolling hills of Maryland. I could spend hours there. 

The second season of KCRW's Lost Notes, hosted by Jessica Hopper, built episodes like albums, sequenced with eureka moments throughout. See: the story of a teenage Farsi New Wave sibling duo and a difficult and necessary reassessment of John Fahey through the women in his life.  

High Spirits (May 7, Atlas Brew Works) is such a force for good. Heavy metal singalongs about love, friendship and positivity. I feel like this band needs to tour with Sheer Mag to be fully appreciated by an unknowing audience. 

Has your baseball team ever won the pennant with the sleeping baby on your chest? So many silent screams of joy in our household as the Nats not only won the National League, but the whole dang World Series. I haven't lived in a city/state with a baseball team that's gone to the World Series since 1995. 

Circuit Des Yeux's Haley Fohr (Dec. 5, Hirshhorn) tuned her voice to feedback hum and the rest that followed felt like a wordless eulogy for 2019. I felt renewed by it. 

I can't think of a prettier song released in 2019 than "This Time Around" by Jessica Pratt. It is saudade whispered into the wind.

This was my Linda Ronstadt year. Heart Like a Wheel, Canciones de mi Padre, her records with the Stone Poneys — the Queen of LA, with a voice that both bursts out of and melts into dusk, softened the edges of long days with an equally adventurous and easygoing spirit.

🚙 Petrol Girls, Cut & Stitch: In 2019, it was crucial — life-affirming and -saving, even — to make your own noise. "This is the sound / It moves in our bodies / It passes through time / Brings what came before us," Petrol Girls' Ren Aldridge screamed at the top of a turbulent punk record filled with compassion. That boundless philosophy resonated with me this year — to listen and absorb more deeply, to excavate the traces of memory in music.

👽 Blood Incantation, Hidden History of the Human Race: Simultaneously exists in the gaping maw of death-metal tradition and the galaxy brain of its future. 

💾 Kali Malone, The Sacrificial Code: Seeks the solemnity of the drone in the pipe organ, but leans into the vulnerability pushed through the air.

🕹️ billy woods & Kenny Segal, Hiding Places:  An album-length self-excavation that crawls through moldy memories in a brutal poetry that is at times darkly funny but mostly wrestles with personal and societal truths that'll leave you touched, shook. 

📟 Holly Herndon, PROTO: One of our deepest thinkers went to the past to make music from the future. 

🚨 Rakta, Falha Comum: Creepazoid emanations from a subterranean plane.

🐣 Sunwatchers, Illegal Moves: Ecstatic protest music summoning the beauty and rage of Alice Coltrane, Sonny Sharrock, Rhys Chatham and Hawkwind. 

🏞 Bill Orcutt, Odds Against Tomorrow: The most engaging, radical, but surprisingly accessible solo guitar album of the year. Bill Orcutt's ragged-yet-tender guitar skronk gives shaggy texture to rapturous melodies.

🍕 Control Top, Covert Contracts: This hits some dance-punky Erase Errata sweet spots for me, but with the technical finesse of a power trio. 

🚟 Real Life Rock & Roll Band, Hollerin' the Spirit: Applies minimalist techniques to rumbling, dueling guitar histrionics with a reckless, but locked-in energy. Never woulda thunk American Football and Henry Flynt could hoedown together. 

🐠 Caroline Shaw & Attacca Quartet, Orange: Balances austere beauty with rumbling earth. Riveting music for string quartet. 

💥 Mdou Moctor, Ilana (The Creator): Where ZZ Top bombast, Black Sabbath riffs and Tuareg trance rhythms swirl into an acid-rock stomp. 

👑 Vagabon, Vagabon: Goes so many places, yet always returns home. 

🎭 JPEGMAFIA, All My Heroes Are Cornballs: A neon-freaked feast blasted in slow mo and fast forward all at once.

🌆 Denzel Curry, ZUU: Dude's a metal rapper without a metal band, but if he ever started one, I'm down 100 percent. 

💨 Whistling Arrow, Whistling Arrow: An avant UK supergroup of prepared guitar, violin, electronics and hypnotic percussion drinks deep of dark lagers and mossy earth.

🐸 101 Notes on Jazz: Things are getting hard around the boloney hole...

🐳 M. Sage, Catch a Blessing: Warm, fuzzy world-building from blocks of sound stretched and warped into a new nostalgia.

🚇 Mizmor, Cairn: Deliberate and patient in its annihilating pace; lumbering, yet regally melodic riffs echo into a chasm of feedback.

🌅 Takafumi Matsubara, Strange, Beautiful And Fast: Next-level grind from the Gridlink mastermind and friends. While No One Knows What the Dead Think picked up where Discordance Axis left off, Takafumi Matsubara shreds into the future.

🐎 American Football, LP3: A reunion that keeps on giving and growing. Impressionistic in its quietly bursting arrangements and attuned to the individual talents of its vocal guests, especially that stunning duet with Hayley Williams. 

🔋 v/a, Seitō: In the Beginning, Woman Was the Sun: This compilation does for modern Japanese women in experimental music what P.S.F.’s Tokyo Flashback comps did for the Japanese psychedelic scenes of yore. 

👗 Carly Rae Jepsen, Dedicated: Didn't hold together as much as I wanted, or play like E•MO•TION's late-night mixtape, but every time one of its singles popped up on a friend's playlist -- "Julien," "Want You in My Room," "The Sound" and especially the slow-burn synth-pop exhaustion of "Too Much" -- I'd think, "Carly Rae Jepsen is the Queen of the Song I Needed Right Now."

🌕 Rong, wormhat: Just bonkers. Boston's Rong channels the joyous chaos of Japanese punks Melt-Banana and the aggro skronk of Brainiac with a tad of Deerhoof's weirdo-pop hooks.

✊🏿 Sounds of Liberation, Sounds of Liberation / Unreleased Columbia University 1973: Free jazz and funk band deep in spiritual grooves. Killer performances all around, but such a trip to hear more from young vibraphonist Khan Jamal during his Drum Dance to the Motherland era. 

🐬 Great Grandpa, Four of Arrows: If Sixpence None the Richer made an emo record, but only had Return of the Frog Queen on the mood board. 

📳 Sarah Louise, Nighttime Birds and Morning Stars: One of my favorite guitarists right now. Digitally processes melodies and single notes in an electronic elation landing somewhere between Robert Fripp, Alice Coltrane and Terry Riley.

📮 Sarah Hennies, Reservoir 1: An immersive sound cycle in constant motion, a quiet rumble that slowly transforms in and out of a glorious clatter. 

👣 Psychedelic Speed Freaks, Psychedelic Speed Freaks: Munehiro Narita essentially picks up where High Rise left off, still plays the guitar like it's about to blow up. 

🍩 Town Portal, Of Violence: Most instrumental post/prog-rock puts me to sleep, but this Danish trio illustrates just how dynamic and sound-rich this music can be. 

🛀 Jim O'Rourke, steamroom 45: An electronic excavation from the deep abyss. The 37-minute "Sigaretstraat" is a master class in patience, dynamics and sublime dissonance.

🎀 Cristina Quesada, I Think I Heard a Rumor: Multi-lingual, ultra-chic dance-pop with super-smart synth arrangements. Think: Tiki drinks and mod dresses. 

⏹ John Luther Adams, Become Desert: Truly time-less music; as in, music without time. 

⏏ Julia Reidy, brace, brace: Late night, longform excursions that offer an alternate Blade Runner soundtrack with frenzied 12-string, fuzzy synth glossolalia and an Auto-Tuned bummer haze.

🚞 A Million Dollars, I Love Your Voice and I Love You: Weird and warped twee-pop that woulda headlined Silent Barn. 

📠 Priests, The Seduction of Kansas: Truth-telling and truth-seeking through a mangled disco haze and bleak New Wave romanticism. 

🏭 Werner Durand with Amelia Cuni and Victor Meertens, processions: Majestic drones capture an undulating wonder with enveloping somnolence.

🎳 Sheer Mag, A Distant Call: The denim-and-leather-jacket-wearing standard bearers of truly independent rock and roll double-downed on their sound, but opened their hearts a bit more. 

📒 Susan Alcorn / Joe McPhee / Ken Vandermark, Invitation to a Dream: Illuminates the flickering motions of exploration. 

😱 Serpent Column, Mirror in Darkness: Pitch-black metal chaos with forceful melodies twisted into the tableau. Honestly? Deathspell Omega but skramz.

🏅 Pernice Brothers, Spread the Feeling: Joe Pernice digs into his '80s record collection to return with some of his most delicately written, winsome guitar-pop in years and tons of one-liners: "Love is a shoeless charlatan, a silver-tongued huckster with a sadist’s lipless grin."

🍓 Kalie Schorr, Open Book: Whip-smart, hook-twanged country-pop raised on MTV2 pop-punk and Sheryl Crow. 

📀 Angel Olsen, All Mirrors: In a year where we lost Scott Walker, this felt like a torch passed from 1969. 

😪 Mount Eerie, Lost Wisdom pt. 2: Phil Elverum draws us in evermore, revisiting a beloved album, mode and collaborator (the remarkable Julie Doiron), and molding them into his ever-changing songwriting and circumstance. Contains the most tender couplet of the year, which I'll carry with me always: "If ever the bonfire that I carry around could warm you again / I will be out here in the weather for you glowing."

🙉 75 Dollar Bill, I Was Real: Serious hypno-grooves from these drone excavators. 

👢 Karen Marks, Cold Cafe: The early '80s artist behind the Sky Girl comp's broodiest track gets a few more songs of existential synth-pop and jangly post-punk. Just wanna put them on mixtapes for friends. 

🍻 Haunt, If Icarus Could Fly: Synthesizes an earnest, studied love for '80s heavy metal with tons of guitar harmonies and can-crushing anthems, yes, but also a ton of heart.

🍖 Bob Dylan, The Rolling Thunder Revue: The strangest, most mystical and wild Dylan persona in all of its face-painted glory. 

🌹 A Pregnant Light, Broken Play: Damian Master's endless creativity and shameless bravado coalesce into a rugged beauty. As always, riffs for days. 

🦄 Fire-Toolz, Field Whispers (Into the Crystal Palace): Clashes New Age synthscapes, clubby raves, jazz fusion and metal shrieks into an idiosyncratic master's pure creation.

🌇 Maria W Horn, Epistasis: Quiet, yet forceful acoustic elements are wrapped in the sinews of technology to blur composition. A stirring mix of icy string drones and minimalist piano. 

🐲 Soul Glo, The N**** in Me Is Me: Distills the rage and terror of living in America while being black with blunt force.

🍢 Mára, Here Behold Your Own: Snapshots of a time before parenthood rendered in garbled organ, ambient guitar loops and echoing lullabies. Felt this one deeply. 

🚙 The Go-Betweens, G Stands for Go-Betweens: The Go-Betweens Anthology - Volume 2: There's a live KCRW version of "Quiet Heart" that just absolutely destroys me. Deeply thankful for the presentation and preservation that's gone into these box sets. 

😈 Bat for Lashes, Lost Girls: A coming-of-age concept album about a teenage vampire gang that was somehow severely overlooked. Some of Natasha's most tender songwriting and a rich synth-pop world that'd make M83 jealous.

[nyanzaya]

@if-that-so replied to your post

You should write cute things for them because they already hurt so much

(🐈+🐾) “Amour, you should go to sleep. You been up again all night, haven’t you?” It’s the first thing Zuo says to Iza seeing that the feline was still awake when he came downstairs. It was only four in the morning and normally Zuo would have been sleeping, but he had been stirred awake from the lack of another body in their bed. 

Iza brought a hand to the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as if annoyed, “I still have a lot of work to do. I’m almost done... I just need to do this one thing.” 

The cream-colored feline simply rolls his eyes, taking note of the exhaustion in Iza’s words. “You know what time it is, right?”

“Four but-”

“Yeah, it’s late. You’re tired.”

“I can just nap tomorrow, it’s fine.”

Zuo brought a hand to his face, “That’s not fine because you don’t actually sleep and you know it.”

Iza gave a soft laugh at their observation. It was true, he never actually did sleep, yet would nap for hours on end. The black feline understood it wasn’t exactly a healthy behavior but he could never exactly break that bad habit. He was far too used to being awake in the dead of night. It was the time he felt most alive, yet, it was a time he disliked at the same time when he had no work to do. Iza simply waved a hand to dismiss Zuo’s statement. 

The cream-colored feline sighed and walked over to Iza as he spoke. “C’mon, you’re going to bed and you’re gonna like it.” 

In response to this, Iza’s ears leaned back, “What? No! I don’t want to go to bed yet.” He rolled his swivel chair backwards in an attempt to put a distance between himself and his boyfriend. 

“Don’t roll away, c’mon.” 

Iza hissed at him in refusal, to which Zuo gave a soft growl. 

“I don’t want to go to bed. You can’t make me, Zuu-chan! I’m a functional adult.”

The cream-colored feline snort, “Yeah fucking right. You? Functional? Fuck off and come to bed you lying piece of shit.” 

God damn it. Why was it so annoying to make Iza go to bed anyway? 

Iza wasn’t paying attention as his vision wavered and the back of his chair hit a wall. Now, Zuo had his hands on either side of the chair’s arms. The black feline’s ears were leaned backward, but he started to purr when Zuo leaned forward, bunting their forehead onto his own.

“You’re so mean. Calling me a piece of shit? You wound me so much with that attitude.”

“The fuck you mean attitude? You’re the one refusing to go to bed right now.” 

Iza put his arms around Zuo’s neck, before he moved his head to press a kiss onto their lips. 

Zuo’s ears had perked up and leaned forward when Iza pressed a kiss onto his lips. He knew what he was trying to do. Iza was trying to redirect his attention to leave him alone, but not tonight. He wasn’t going to let Iza win this battle. 

Easily, Zuo picked up the black feline and cradled him. Iza tensed for a moment, his arms tightening around their neck before he relaxed. The black feline gave a hum and pressed his face at Zuo’s neck before he bit and licked at the skin. 

“Izzy, stop that.” 

“Nyaa~ But Zuu-chan, it’s been a while, ne? Can’t we just have a little fun?” 

Zuo walked to their bedroom as he held onto the black feline and gently swayed to try and lull them into sleeping. “Maybe when you actually slept.” 

“Eh!? So unfair!”

“It’s not unfair. It’s very fair and besides you need to be healthy for when winter comes. I know you’re going to get really sick like always.” 

Iza huffed, despite his purrs and how they had begun to soften as he was being held. one of his hands had moved to grasp at Zuo’s shirt, as he nuzzled into their chest. Zuo smelled sweet to Iza, a scent akin to mint and grass. “Okay, I guess you’re right even though I hate to admit that.” 

Zuo rested his cheek on top of Iza’s head as he softly purred. “You don’t like to admit a lot of stuff, but it’s okay.” 

Iza gave a soft chuckle as he was being lulled to sleep. He could hear Zuo’s soft purrs and how they almost sounded pained; yet, he still purred. Not that Iza knew why. He understood how much Zuo hated to be thought of as a feline like himself and striven to be human. Iza understood that it was the reason Zuo had gone out to get him to come to bed, despite the fact that they were together. Sometimes, Zuo didn’t make much sense, but at the exact same time he made perfect sense. Being together with Zuo was by no means easy, but it was easy to understand them and Iza was sure it was the exact same for Zuo. 

With Iza falling asleep in his arms, Zuo moved to the bed and sat down on the edge. It was fine that Iza wasn’t exactly responding to the things he was saying, it just meant they were getting drowsy. Zuo rested Iza on his lap, one arm was supporting them up while his free hand brush strands of black locks out of Iza’s face while Iza rested his head against their shoulder. 

It wasn’t long after that Iza had finally fallen into a deep enough sleep to allow Zuo to move and laid him on the bed without waking him. Zuo placed the blanket covers over the sleeping feline and ran a hand through his own hair, giving a sigh. Sometimes, it was hard getting Iza to stop working and to get the proper rest he needed. Let alone eating, he had realized months ago that Iza hardly ate and was one of the reasons he had moved in with the black feline to keep a better eye on him. It was hard to believe that Iza didn’t take the greatest care of himself, yet showed off the best parts of himself in a way to make it seem he was healthy and was the best when that wasn’t true.

Zuo shook his head and climbed into bed next to Iza. He cuddled next to them and closed his eyes, only to open them when he felt Iza move. The black feline turned to put his arm around Zuo, which Zuo returned the action. The cream-colored feline rested his head on top of Iza’s, who had nuzzled closer to him and began to softly purr before the sound had fizzled out. 

The two slept for what felt like three hours before Zuo felt Iza trying to escape from his arms when he had unconsciously hugged the black feline at some point while they slept. Zuo didn’t want to wake up, even despite the whined sounds coming from Iza and was met with a rude awakening when Iza had bitten his nose paired with a “Let me go you idiot!” which made Zuo let him go. 

“You didn’t have to bite me, what the fuck.” The cream-colored feline groaned. 

“And you didn’t have to hold me until you were squishing me like a python.” Iza spat back, huffing.

Zuo didn’t bother to reach out to them, knowing that he had simply overstimulated them with prolonged contact. “My, bad.” He simply said, falling back to sleep already. 

Iza didn’t say anything, he only crossed his arms over his chest seeing Zuo starting to fall asleep again. The only thing Iza did was reach over to the floor to pick up another blanket that had fallen to the floor and used it as a barrier between himself and Zuo. Easily, Iza went back to sleep. 

Almost blissfully, the couple slept together despite the small technicalities. 

[fallintosanity]

hi I’m stuck waiting on ep:ardyn to come out before I can write more Basis of Reality, so have some ridiculous FFXV/FFVII-TFA crossover nonsense while we all wait

“A recruiting mission?” Genesis said doubtfully. He held the mission briefing in two fingers, his nose wrinkled like the words written on it reeked. “I thought this was going to be something interesting.”

Tseng ignored him, leaning back in his desk chair ever so slightly and watching Cloud with narrowed eyes. Cloud returned his stare levelly. He hadn’t looked at the mission briefing yet, and Tseng seemed far more interested in his reaction than Genesis’s. He dropped his eyes deliberately to Cloud’s copy of the briefing. “What do you think, Commander Strife?”

Giving in, Cloud skimmed the report. Unknown fighter operating on the Western Continent… mercenary… known kills include multiple Bomb clusters, several cokatolis, two zuus, a nest of Nibel dragons… no known affiliations… Cloud looked back at Tseng with a frown. “Who is he?”

“We were hoping you might know,” Tseng said. “He’s been roaming the Western Continent, slaying monsters in exchange for room, board, or gil. Remarkably similar to what you were doing before we recruited you.”

“Does this mystery man have it in for Sephiroth, too?” Genesis asked dryly.

“Not that we know of,” Tseng said, though he was still watching Cloud. “The civilians who’ve spoken with him noted a complete indifference toward ShinRa, actually.”

“And you want to recruit him?” Genesis said.

“You want us to recruit him?” Cloud added.

“A warrior powerful enough to take on the monsters he’s faced, alone, is of great interest to ShinRa. It would be best for all parties if he joined SOLDIER,” Tseng said, then nodded to Genesis. “Lazard suggested bringing the Hero of Wutai as incentive.” Then he tilted his head toward Cloud. “Even if you don’t know this man, your own, ah, recruitment experience might be of interest to him.”

“I don’t know him,” Cloud said. The photo attached to the briefing was blurry, pulled from a security photo according to the notes, and all he could make out of the mystery man was pale skin and dark hair. But he didn’t need to see the guy’s face to know he wasn’t anyone Cloud knew - the only people Cloud knew with that coloring were either already accounted for, or out of reach.

Tseng frowned. “You’re sure? His circumstances are quite similar to yours—”

“No,” Cloud interrupted. “They’re not.” They couldn’t be, but Tseng didn’t know that. Tseng had no idea Cloud was a time-traveler from ten years in the future, and Cloud wasn’t about to enlighten him. Only a handful of people knew the truth, the ones who’d been with Cloud at Nibelheim three months ago: Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal, Kunsel, Zack, and Vincent. Everyone else in ShinRa had gotten an edited version of the incident in Nibelheim which contained no mentions of time travel, and as little of Jenova as Sephiroth had thought they could get away with. Even Aeris didn’t know everything, as much for her own protection as Cloud’s.

There was no way this guy was another time-traveler from the future, which meant he was nothing like Cloud. Though, that did leave a question open. “How long has he been operating?” Cloud asked. “Why are you only just now going after him?”

“Four months, give or take,” Tseng answered. “We have some speculative reports that he may have been operating up to six months ago, but we can’t definitively link them. He’s been using aliases, and not all of the people who reported activity saw him in person.”

“‘First confirmed sighting in North Corel’,” Genesis read from the briefing.

Tseng nodded. “The speculative reports are from a handful of small settlements in the mountains to the west of North Corel. If those were the same man, he moved more or less steadily east from Mount Nibel to Corel for about two months, then swung south along the mountains. He’s currently just west of the Corel Desert, in a settlement near the river.”

Cloud had to fight not to react to the mention of Mount Nibel. Based on Tseng’s timeline, the mystery man would have been in the area of the Nibel reactor during the time Cloud was trapped in Hojo’s lab, but that had to be a coincidence. Cloud had spent close to eight months there; dozens if not hundreds of people had probably passed through the greater Nibel area in that time. This guy was just one of them.

Tseng was still watching him a little too closely, so Cloud made himself toss the mission briefing on Tseng’s desk with as much nonchalance as he could muster. “The Corel Desert, huh? When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow morning at oh eight hundred,” Tseng said, and began gathering up the papers Cloud had scattered. “I’ll see both of you at the helipad at ten til.”

* * *

It was midafternoon by the time Tseng landed the helicopter just outside a small village some sixty or seventy miles west of the edge of the Corel Desert. Following the locals’ directions, Cloud, Genesis, and Tseng walked along a hilly trail to the river. It was a pleasant day, the sun warm, the breeze gentle, and birds chirping in the trees and bushes. This far west, no trace of Midgar’s smog marred the air, and Cloud tipped his face up, reveling in the sunlight.

“Is that him?” Genesis asked quietly, breaking his reverie.

“Apparently,” Tseng said.

Cloud followed their gaze. Perhaps a hundred yards along the path, the rolling hills sloped down to meet the river where it wound lazily down from the foothills of the mountains to the west. A lone figure sat at the river’s edge, a sleek fishing pole in his hands, the line extended out into the water. He turned as they approached, and Cloud studied him closely, just in case Tseng had been right about a connection.

But the young man wasn’t familiar at all. He looked young, early twenties or so, certainly not like a warrior capable of the kinds of exploits described in ShinRa’s file. His skin was paler than one would expect for someone who spent his time wandering the continent, and his hair was jet-black and fell in messy locks and spikes around his head. His face was round, almost soft, and his eyes, framed by thick dark lashes, were a stormy blue-gray and wide with curiosity.

His clothes were as unfamiliar as his face: a t-shirt under a short-sleeved leather jacket, baggy fisherman’s pants, and mismatched boots, all black. The fishing pole he held was likewise black, and looked fancy, though Cloud knew nothing about fishing. The young man rose to his feet, reeling in the line absently, as Tseng walked up to him with Cloud and Genesis following behind.

“Can I help you?” the man asked. His voice was light, almost soft despite the wary edge.

Tseng flashed a polite smile and his ShinRa ID. “My name is Tseng. I’m a member of ShinRa’s General Affairs Department.” Using the department’s formal name, not the nickname Turks, Cloud noted - apparently Tseng didn’t want to spook the guy. “These are Commanders Rhapsodos and Strife, SOLDIERs First Class,” Tseng continued, gesturing to Genesis and Cloud in turn.

The man glanced over at Genesis and Cloud, then back to Tseng. That was odd - Cloud tried to keep a low profile as a SOLDIER First Class, but Genesis reveled in attention and publicity. His face was nearly as well-known as Sephiroth’s; the man should have recognized him. But all he said to Tseng was, “Soldiers? Is something wrong? Do I need a hunter’s license or something?”

“No,” Tseng said smoothly. “We wanted to talk to you, Mr…?”

“Gar,” the man said.

Tseng’s expression didn’t change from the polite smile. “That’s the fifth alias you’ve used in the last four months.”

The man’s expression hardened, his chin lifting and those startling stormcloud eyes narrowing. Tseng continued, “ShinRa has been following your activity for some time, and we’re quite interested in you.”

“I see that,” the man said dryly.

“Your name?” Tseng prompted.

The man’s head tilted as he studied them for a long moment; Cloud had the impression he was weighing a decision. Finally he said, “Noctis Lucis Caelum.” His gaze flicked over them as he spoke, as though he was expecting a reaction of some kind.

Not that Cloud had one; the name was unusual, but not extraordinary. It didn’t appear to ring a bell for Genesis or Tseng, either, and after a moment, the man’s - Caelum’s - shoulders slumped ever so slightly. Some of the wariness in his posture bled away with the motion, and suddenly he just looked tired. “What do you want?” he asked.

“We’d like to offer you a job, Mister Caelum,” Tseng said.

Caelum shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m not interested.” With that, he swung his fishing pole up on his shoulder and brushed past Tseng, heading back up the path toward the village.

Genesis took half a step after him, but Tseng held up a hand to stop him. “Let him go,” he said quietly.

“Hmph.” Genesis folded his arms. “He didn’t even ask what kind of job.”

“You’re just mad he didn’t recognize you,” Cloud said.

“That, too,” Genesis agreed easily. To Tseng he added, “You’re not giving up that easily, are you?”

“Of course not,” Tseng answered. Caelum was out of sight along the path by now, lost to the gentle curve and swell of the hills, but Tseng lowered his voice anyway. “A pack of harpies was spotted two days ago heading toward this area. Normally Director Lazard would have sent a squad of Thirds to clear them out, but he agreed to hold off. We’d like to see Mister Caelum in action.”

“Is that safe?” Cloud asked. “Letting them get this close to town?”

“It’s perfectly safe,” Tseng said, and smiled. “Aren’t you both SOLDIERs?”

[luvneedsnosyt]

My Favorite Albums of May 2019

My Previous monthly lists from 2019: January, February, March, April

You can find my list of my favorite albums of 2018 here And my list of my favorite EPs of 2018 here

Best:

Ally & AJ - Sanctuary EP Genre: Pop

Proof: Church / Not Ready to Wake Up

Ari Lennox - Shae Butter Baby Genre: R&B

Proof: BMO / Broke (Feat. JID)

Barrie - Happy to Be Here Genre: Indie Pop

Proof: Dark Tropical / Clovers

BAYNK - Someone’s II Genre: Synth Pop

Proof: Settle (Feat. Sinead Harnett) / Go with U

Beast Coast (Pro Era, Flatbush Zombies & The Underachievers) - Escape From New York Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: Left Hand / Bones

B00TY - High Art EP Genre: Synth Pop / Funk / Dance

Proof: Trust Me (Feat. Kill Nigel) / Blowing Up My Phone

Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated Genre: Synth Pop

Proof: No Drug Like Me / Right Words Wrong Time

Charley Bliss - Young Enough Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Proof: Capacity / Chatroom

Denzel Curry - ZUU Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: RICKY / BIRDZ (Feat. Rick Ross)

Diplo - Higher Ground EP Genre: Electronic / House / Dance

Proof:Hold You Tight / Win Win (Feat. Tove Lo) // Bonus: Spicy (Spice Girls Cover/Rework) w/ Herve Pagez Feat. Charli XCX

Dog Blood (Skrillex & Boys Noize)  - Turn Off The Lights EP Genre: Electronic / Dance / Dubstep

Proof: BREAK LAW / TURN OFF THE LIGHTS

DUCKWRTH - THE FALLING MAN Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: FALL BACK / A WILDFIRE (Feat. Mr. Carmack & Allan Kingdom)

Elohim - BRAINDEAD EP Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop

Proof: tv / flagpole sitta (Harvey Danger cover w/ AWOLNATION)

Emotional Oranges - The Juice, Vol. 1 Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

Proof: Personal / Unless You’re Drowning

FRENSHIP - Vacation Genre: Synth-Pop

Proof: Remind You / Wide Open // Bonus: MI Amore / LOVE Somebody

HÆLOS - Any Random Kindness Genre: Electronic / House 

Proof: Kyoto / Empty Skies

Injury Reserve - Injury Reserve Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: Jailbreak the Tesla (Feat. Aminé) / Wax On (Feat. Freddie Gibbs)

Izzy Bizu - GLITA EP Genre: R&B / Soul

Proof: Lights On / Someone That Loves You ‘19 (w/ Chris Martin)

Jamila Woods - LEGACY! LEGACY! Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

Proof: ZORA / BALDWIN (Feat. Nico Segal)

Kaskade - Redux 003 Genre: Electronic / Dance

Proof: Go Slow (w/ Gorgon City Feat. Roméo) / Love Me Like You Used To (Feat. Cecilia Gault)

Kishi Bashi - Omoiyari Genre: Indie Pop

Proof: Summer of ‘42 / Violin Tsunami 

Lucky Daye - Painted Genre: R&B / Soul

Proof: Concentrate / Paint It

Matinee Commune - PDA Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

Proof: Famous (Feat. Cassandra Violet) / Carried Away (Feat. Allie Crystal)

MorMor - Some Place Else EP Genre: alt-R&B / Indie Pop

Proof: Outside / Pass The Hours

NIKI - wanna take this downtown? Genre: R&B

Proof: urs / move!

Skepta - Ignorance is Bliss Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: Bullet From A Gun / No Sleep

SNBRN - Solé Genre: Electronic / House

Proof: Feel My Love / Never Let You Go

SonReal - The Aaron LP Genre: Indie Pop / Alternative / Hip Hop

Proof: Fearless / Quit

SYML - SYML Genre: Indie Pop / Alternative

Proof: Wildfire / Break Free

TOBi - STILL Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: Locked In / Come Back Home (Feat. VanJess)

Tyler, The Creator - IGOR Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

Proof: EARFQUAKE (Feat. Playboy Carti, Charlie Wilson & Jessy Wilson) / I THINK (Feat. Solange)

Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Proof: This Life / Sympathy

Bonus:

Some previous projects I missed early and found during May.

The Grouch - Unlock The Box Released December 2018 Genre: Indie Hip Hop

Proof: Feel Alone / Pretty (Feat. YMTK)

The Grouch & DJ Fresh - The Tonight Show with The Grouch Released December 2018 Genre: Indie Hip Hop

Proof: Devoted / Indigo 100

Kasbo - Places We Don’t Know Remix EP Released April 2019 Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

Proof: Over You (Super Duper Remix) Feat. Frida Sundemo / Aldrg Mer (EMBRZ Remix) Feat. TENDER

Others:

Adela - On The Line EP, The Amazons - Future Dust, Berner - El Chivo, Big Thief - U.F.O.F., Calboy - Wildboy, Chase & Status - RTRN II JUNGLE, Christelle Bofale - Swim Team EP, Ciara - Beauty Marks, Collie Buddz - Hybrid, Curren$y & Statik Selektah - Gran Turismo, DJ Khaled - Father of Asahd, Flying Lotus - Flamagra, The Get Up Kids - Problems, The Head and the Heart - Living Mirage, Holly Herndon - PROTO, Interpol - A Fine Mess EP, Jai Waetford - Figure It Out EP, JAMESDAVIS - MASTERPIECE EP, Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler - brent EP, jesse saint john - don’t stop dancing. life gets sad. EP, J-E-T-S - Zoospa, Josephine Wiggs - We Fall, Judah & The Lion - Pep Talks, Kevin Gates - Only The General Gon Understand EP, KIAN - BLISS EP, Logic - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Mac DeMarco - Here Comes the Cowboy, Maribou State - Kingdoms in Color Remixed, Megan Thee Stallion - Fever, Middle Kids - New Songs for Old Problems EP, Miley Cyrus - SHE IS COMING EP, The National - I Am Easy to Find, no rome - Crying In The Prettiest Places EP, Oliver Dion - Exposed, Patoranking - Wilmer, PnB Rock - TrapStar Turnt PopStar, PRETTYMUCH - Phases EP, Raveena - Lucid, Rhye - Spirit, Rotimi - Walk With Me EP, SAFE - STAY, Santi - Mandy & The Jungle, slowthai - Nothing Great About Britain , StayLoose - The City, Steve Lacy - Apollo XXI, Striking Matches - Morning EP, Styles P - S.P. The Goat: Ghost of All Time, Sufjan Stevens - Love Yourself / With My Whole Heart EP, Tank and the Bangas - Green Balloon, Taylor Bennett - The American Reject EP, Wu-Tang Clan - Of Mics and Men EP, Yeek - IDK WHERE, YG - 4REAL 4REAL

[sexydeathparty]

TV Baftas 2022 Nominees Announced, With It's A Sin Leading The Way

The nominations for this year’s TV Baftas have been announced, with It’s A Sin leading the way.

It’s A Sin has received an impressive seven nominations at the upcoming ceremony, including leading acting nods for Olly Alexander and Lydia West.

Callum Scott Howells, David Carlyle and Omari Douglas are also in the running in the Supporting Actor category, while it had already been announced a scene from the show was also up for the fan-voted Must-See TV Moment prize.

Also receiving multiple nominations are the TV dramas Help, Time and Too Close.

Help stars Jodie Comer, Stephen Graham and Cathy Tyson have been recognised by the TV Baftas, with Stephen also receiving a nomination for his performance in Time, alongside co-star Sean Bean.

A few HuffPost faves are also up for TV Baftas this year, with Alison Hammond receiving a nomination for Entertainment Performance and Sex Education stars Ncuti Gatwa and Aimee Lou Wood once again in contention for their roles in the latest series of the Netflix show.

Meanwhile, Gogglebox and RuPaul’s Drag Race UK are going head-to-head in the Reality And Constructed Factual category.

Check out the full list of nominees below…

Leading Actress

Denise Gough (Too Close)

Emily Watson (Too Close)

Jodie Comer (Help)

Kate Winslet (Mare Of Easton)

Lydia West (It’s A Sin)

Niamh Algar (Deceit)

Leading Actor

David Thewlis (Landscapers)

Hugh Quarshie (Stephen)

Olly Alexander (It’s A Sin)

Same; Adewunmi (You Don’t Know Me)

Sean Bean (Time)

Stephen Graham (Help)

Female Performance In A Comedy Programme

Aimee Lou Wood (Sex Education)

Aisling Bea (This Way Up)

Anjana Vasan (We Are Lady Parts)

Natasia Demetriou (Stath Lets Flats)

Rose Matafeo (Starstruck)

Sophie Willan (Alma’s Not Normal)

Male Performance In A Comedy Programme

Jamie Demetriou (Stath Lets Flats)

Joe Gilgun (Brassic)

Ncuti Gatwa (Sex Education)

Samson Kayo (Bloods)

Steve Coogan (This Time With Alan Partridge)

Tim Renkow (Jerk)

Supporting Actor

Callum Scott Howells (It’s A Sin)

David Carlyle (It’s A Sin)

Matthew McFadyen (Succession)

Nonso Anozie (Sweet Tooth)

Omari Douglas (It’s A Sin)

Stephen Graham (Time)

Supporting Actress

Cathy Tyson (Help)

Celine Buckens (Showtrial)

Emily Mortimer (The Pursuit Of Love)

Jessica Plummer (The Girl Before)

Leah Harvey (Foundation)

Tahirah Sharif (The Tower)

Entertainment Programme

An Audience With Adele

Ant And Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway

Life & Rhymes

Strictly Come Dancing

Entertainment Performance

Alison Hammond (I Can See Your Face)

Big Zuu (Big Zuu’s Big Eats)

Graham Norton (The Graham Norton Show)

Joe Lycett (Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back)

Michael McIntyre (The Wheel)

Sean Lock (8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown)

Drama Series

In My Skin

Manhunt: The Night Stalker

Unforgotten

Vigil

Comedy Entertainment Programme

The Graham Norton Show

The Lateish Show With Mo Gilligan

Race Around Britain

The Ranganation

Scripted Comedy

Alma’s Not Normal

Motherland

Stath Lets Flats

We Are Lady Parts

Mini-Series

It’s A Sin

Landscapers

Stephen

Time

Reality And Constructed Factual

Gogglebox

Married At First Sight UK

RuPaul’s Drag Race UK

The Dog House

Features

Big Zuu’s Big Eats 

Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing

Sort Your Life Out

The Great British Sewing Bee

Single Drama

Death Of England: Face To Face

Help

I Am Victoria

Together

Soap & Continuing Drama

Casualty

Coronation Street

Emmerdale

Holby City

Daytime

The Chase

Moneybags

Richard Osman’s House Of Games

Steph’s Packed Lunch

Factual Series

The Detectives: Fighting Organised Crime

9/11: One Day in America

Undercover Police: Hunting Paedophiles

Uprising

Specialist 

Black Power: A British Story of Resistance

Freddie Mercury: The Final Act

The Missing Children

Silenced: The Hidden Story of Disabled Britain

Current Affairs

Fearless: The Women Fighting Putin (Exposure)

Four Hours At The Capitol

The Men Who Sell Football (Al Jazeera Investigations)

Trump Takes On The World

International

Call My Agent!

Lipin

Mare Of Easttown

Squid Game

Succession

The Underground Railroad

Live Event

The Brit Awards 2021

The Earthshot Prize 2021

The Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance 

Springwatch 2021

News Coverage

Channel 4 News: Black to Front

Good Morning Britain: Shamima Begum

ITV News at Ten: Storming of the Capitol

Sky News: Afghanistan: Endgame

Short Form Programme

Hollyoaks Saved My Life

Our Land

People You May Know

Please Help

Single Documentary

9/11: Inside The President’s War Room

Grenfell: The Untold Story

My Childhood, My Country ��� 20 Years in Afghanistan

Nail Bomber: Man Hunt

Sport

 The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

 ITV Racing: The Grand National

 Tokyo 2020 Olympics

 UEFA Euro 2020 Semi-Final: England v Denmark

Virgin Media Must-See TV Moment

An Audience With Adele

I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!

It’s A Sin

RuPaul’s Drag Race UK

Squid Game

Strictly Come Dancing

This year’s TV Baftas will take place on Sunday 8 May.

READ MORE:

Adele And Strictly Winner Rose Ayling-Ellis Go Head-To-Head For Bafta's Must-See TV Moment Award

From It's A Sin To Strictly Come Dancing – The TV That Saved 2021

from HuffPost UK - Athena2 - All Entries (Public) https://ift.tt/gW0S5HM via IFTTT

[mumblesfm]

yessss :)  (or is it nahhh?)

my stress n fatigue are way up, probably because of each other, probably peaking atm as I draw toward the end of this lil mirage window of perceivable safety n stare down the barrel of returning to work (in a supermarket lmao) tommorow! yay! he he i hate it here :(

ANYWAY here it isssss - part 3 of 3 of this too-long-held-on-to selection:

MMBLS FM - DJ ESSENTIAL SERVICES - RONA SPESHY PT 3

https://www.mixcloud.com/mumblesfm/mmbls-fm-dj-essential-services-rona-speshy-pt-3/

hopefully can ktse, or at least bits of it, to keep up with this lil goal we were hitting of regular shows up once back on the grind, but we’ll see innit.

Keep it locked and remember the things: drink water, moisturise, don’t pay your landlord (#rentstrike), do pay to stay on stolen lands (#paytherent), don’t be a prick :)

rest in paradise big man Bill Withers </3

TRACKLIST Bill Withers - You Bill Withers - Can We Pretend Yves Tumor - Hasdallen Lights DJ DYLAN - NONE OF UR CONCERN Moses Boyd - Only You ZEBRA KATZ - IN IN IN Clipse - We Got It For Cheap (intro) Jesse James Solomon, Giggs - Tit for Tat (ft. Farhot) Big Zuu, Jevon - Duppy Sango - Me dê Amor BenjiFlow - Can't Lose Mahalia - Do Not Disturb (Sir Spyro Remix) Manga Saint Hilare - Thoughts & Prayers (ft. Novelist) Raj Forever - Look What You Done Psychs - Spreadin' (Coronavirus) Novelist - Glock-17 MHYSA - Sanaa Lathan Giggs - Talkin’ The Hardest Manu Crooks - Hectic (ft. J Emz) DRMGNOW - Survive Knucks - Home The Cribs - Another Number

[spiceukonline]

10 UK Rappers and MCs That You Need to Know About

UK rappers and MCs are everywhere. The friends who used to wince when I played grime are now in love with Stormzy and I hear Lock Doh played in the main rooms of clubs more than House Every Weekend (trust me, that’s saying something).

But the success of those at the top of their game wouldn’t be possible without MCs tracing grime and UK rap back to its roots.

From skippy grime and heavy baseline to melodic hooks and trap beats, rap and grime is no longer a pigeonholed music genre.

Check out our pick of 10 artists who prove the UK rap and grime scene is so damn exciting…

  MIST

Source: djsemtex

MIST is your go to for catchy hooks and trap beats produced by  Steel Bangelz. Citing his hometown of Birmingham as his inspiration for the mixed cultural influences in his music, (his hit Karlas Back is a play on the Punjabi word ‘Kala’ meaning black person) he has a massive British-Asian following, performing at the BBC Asian Network show in February.

Every track from his first EP, M I S to the T EP (2016) is a student club banger, and his upcoming UK sold out tour is set to be huge.

  Big Zuu

Source: rwd mag

Big Zuu is a rising grime star in grime scene, but really caught our attention with his lyrics over Dave’s piano version of Ghetto Kyote (see video below).

The West London MC is known for his lyrically clever freestyles and has been firing out new material in the last 6 months, spitting alongside his cousin AJ Tracey on Rinse FM’s Grime Show and his legendary Fire in the Booth freestyles.

His February release Ain’t No Joke, produced by Scam (a grime producer to watch this year) and featuring Drifter is set to make big waves in the grime scene.

  Cadet

Source: rwd mag

Cadet gained national recognition with his Slut freestyle in mid-2015.

His gutsy Letter to Krept has also racked up nearly 3 million views on YouTube (those expecting a diss track were surprised at the raw honesty of Cadet’s lyrics, detailing how his cousin Krept had hurt him and at the same time helped to propel his career).

Taking pride of place on the Wireless and Reading/Leeds line-ups, it won’t be long before the self-proclaimed ‘underrated legend’ can drop the his ‘underrated’ status.

  Big Tobz

Source: trapped magazine

After hitting the headlines for the wrong reasons in 2015 when he used the Walthamstow station knife attack to promote his music (completely bizarre), he’s overcome the bad press and is beginning to establish himself as a top UK rap artist.

Corn, his track with Cadet, will have you in stitches, and is deep tone and playful lyrics make him a big hit with the ladies. Just watch the fan video for his version of J Hus’s Calling Me if you don’t believe us.

  Stefflon Don

Source: Vice

Dubbed the ‘British Nicki Minaj,’ it’s already been a big year for Stefflon Don, an MC who combines UK rap with bashment.

She’s made a name for herself on the BBC’s Sound of 2017 hot-list and her mixtape Real Ting, which features big names such as Jeremih and Donae’o, has seen her blow up in both the UK and in Holland, where spent most of her childhood.

The first single from the mixtape, Real Ting, was remixed with a verse from Giggs and the latest single 16 Shots has already hit over 2 million YouTube views. We’re excited for what’s next.

  YGG

Source: rwd magazine

In a genre that seems to be full of trap and American-inspired beats, YGG’s (short for ‘You Get Grime’) sound is unmistakably British.

The three London MCs, Lyrical Strally, PK and Saint, made a name for themselves with their hard-hitting bars on radio sets and freestyles.  Their first single Okay sounds like it could be straight out of the bassline heyday of ‘08/’09, and last year’s Don’t Talk Like That has the same sharp lyrics and energetic flow of early grime.

Hailed as grime’s next best thing by RWD, FactMag, ID and Fabric, we’re hoping the people will fall in love with their old-school grime sound as much as we have.

Elf Kid

Elf Kid started as part of Lewisham’s The Square, a grime collective known for their cult classic Lewisham McDeez, (with the music video filmed outside a Lewisham McDonalds, no less).

After founder Novelist left the crew, Elf Kid stepped up, producing timeless grime track Golden Boy, his energetic flow over The Square producer Lolingo’s remix of Amerie’s 1 Thing.

It’s easy to pick Elf Kid out instantly amongst other MCs (just check out The Square’s recent freestyle on Sian Anderson’s 1Xtra show).

As part of ASOS Supports Talent, Elf Kid recently flew to Ethiopia to shoot the video for Reload That, his infectious new track that promises to “take grime back to the motherland” – watch the video below.

  Avelino

Source: MTV

After being co-signed by Wretch 32 and releasing a collaborative mixtape Young Fire, Old Flame, Avelino has gone from success to success.

His storytelling mirrors that of Wretch’s, but he’s more than held his own with his latest releases.

His 2016 EP FYO (Fuck Your Opinion) was supported by Rinse FM and his latest track Energy features two of the biggest names in grime, Skepta and Stormzy. Our favourite Avelino track is Late Nights in the 15, a chilled rap record with reflective lyrics on the struggles of growing up in Tottenham.

Catch Avelino at Creamfields, Leeds/Reading and London’s XOYO this summer.

  Izzie Gibbs

Source: mn2s

Hailing from Northampton, Izzie Gibbs is proof that grime isn’t just a London thing.

He’s been co-signed by Stormzy, recently appearing alongside him on Sir Spyro’s Grime Show on Rinse FM.

Izzie has a fiery, old-school grime sound which has deservedly won him Best Newcomer at the UK Urban Music Awards 2016. His Jutsu EP features Mandem and Bark, two high energy tracks that will have your gun fingers up in a second.

His 2017 releases, Think About It and Lava Lamp, have taken a surprising turn away from grime and towards a slower rap sound, which we think Izzie does well, but we’re hoping he gets back to the gritty grime sound that blew up his career.

  Dialect

Source: the city talking

Dialect is the first MC from Leeds to really break into the grime scene.

His Don’t Flop clashes (vs. Raptor Warhurst and Bilzar) have proven him as a top battle MC. He performed alongside grime legends such as Wiley, JME and D Double E when Eskimo Dance took on Leeds last year, and (in our opinion) smashed London MC Opium in Lord of the Mics 6.

With a huge number of clashes and freestyles under his belt, we’re hoping for more material from Dialect this year. We’ll be the first to cop an EP.

[zuuliia]

One upon a time Zuu was nothing more than the play thing of scientists in their search to create a monster. They succeeded. Locked away in the process of changing into her second stage form.

[soulmateszedits]

Secret number Zuu locks pfvr

Aqui, anjinho! Espero que goste🌸💌

[staylitmusic]

i-DJ: the ultimate 2016 grime mix, by dj cable by i-D Tracklist: Prez T Feat. Big Zuu, Jammz & Izzie Gibbs - Are You Listening (DJ Cable Dubplate) Terror Danjah - Mars Grim Sickers - Kane DJ Cable - Mayan Riddim Blacks - Pattern Up Trends & Boylan - Norman Bates Coco - My G AJ Tracey - Buster Cannon Ghetts & Rudekid - One Take Riko - Gun Take (One Take Freestyle) Big Tobz & Blittz - One Take Freestyle Newham Generals - Locked In DJ Cable - Ganon DJ Cable Feat. Ghostly - In ‘Ere Maniac - Quadratic Ghetts - You Dun Know Already Milli Major Feat. Flirta D & Scrufizzer - Remember Me TC4 - Shades AJ Tracey - Leave Me Alone Filthy Gears - Final Take Mere Formality - Slingshot Neffa-T & Habitat - Warlord IAKA & Mr Dubz - C30 Armour - Pepper Pot Spooky - Fiesta Dread D & Jammz - 10 Missed Calls D.O.K. - Grove VIP Ego - Man Know Syer B - Shook MIK - 8 Eyes Blay - Skeng Stormzy - Scary The Square - Defeat Us Darkness Feat. Rocks FOE - Question That Filthy Gears - War Machine 2 So Large Feat. Ghetts - Sandwich Rapture 4D - That Time Sir Spyro Feat. Teddy Bruckshot, Lady Chann & Killa P - Topper Top DJ Cable - Chintatown Nasty Jack - Juncrow Talker Kahn & Neek - Abattior (SEKKO Refix) Discarda - Discarda’s Out Boylan - Xecute Chip - New Day DJ Cable - Nasty Girl 8 Bar Donaeo Feat. JME & Dizzee Rascal - Black DJ Cable - Aztec Riddim Mez Feat. Stormzy - Lex Luthor Wiley - Can’t Go Wrong Swindle Feat. D Double E - Lemon Trees Kano Feat. Wiley & Giggs - 3 Wheel Ups [Giggs Verse] Prince Rapid - Trending Flowdan - Grime Lington - Informa Macabre Unit - OK Skepta Feat. Novelist - Lyrics Scratchy - Scratchy’s About Newham Generals x Wiley - Unruly Taiko - There DEM Big John & Reece West - Rashford J Beatz - Immortal (Instrumental) Izzie Gibbs - Mandem P Money Feat. JME & Wiley - Gunfingers Filthy Gears - Filthy Hoe VIP Capo Lee - Mud Gesher - Hyperdrive Jammz Feat. Scott Garcia - It’s A London Ting Rapid Feat. Footsie - Overdue Spooky & Boylan - All Black Winter Stormin Feat. Sharky Major, Teddy Bruckshot, Nasty Jack & So Large - Inna Dance Dave & AJ Tracey - Thiago Silva Skepta - Man (Gang) Drone - Terra President T Feat. JME - House & Pop (DJ Cable Special) RD - Levz JLSXNDR7S - Train Wreck Darkness - Arrogant Stance Syer B - Year 3000 Blakie - Can’t See Them GHSTLY XXVII - 3310 Nikki S & Nyke - Hoods Up Gesher - MJ Riddim VIP Kwam - 1 2 Step Teeza - Periscope Merky Ace Feat. Cadell - Don’t Play Jaykae - Pull Up Fuda Guy - My G Dapz On The Map - Champion Champion Manga Feat. Prez T & JME - Different Pattern Trim - Man Like Me

[nyanzaya]

(🐈+🐾) Iza loves Zuo.

Loves the touch of their hands. Loves their appearance. Loves their strength. 

Zuo loves Iza.

Loves the way he would kiss. Loves their eyes. Loves their intelligence.

Despite all of the fighting and harsh words, they loved each other. 

Behind closed doors no one knew what they were truly like and perhaps they had preferred it that way. To keep the facade of truly wanting the other dead but that was not the truth. They had always yearned for each other.

Zuo had known Iza for years, perhaps centuries; recognizing their soul as the same man that was his King’s adviser and even back then Zuo had hated him. It had always angered him that he was the one that remembered their past lives together. Thought it to be unfair that Iza did not have to carry the burden of remembering, but sometimes the way Iza spoke made Zuo wonder if perhaps they did remember as well.

The black feline caressed Zuo’s cheek, his eyes were soft with a smile the cream-colored feline rarely saw outside of this apartment. “You’re such a road warrior, Zuu-chan.” Iza commented which made Zuo’s ears lean back.

“Those guys asked for it. They were on our turf, you know...” He frowns only to hear Iza laugh. 

“Were they? You don’t have to be so defensive of it you know. That’s what our community is for. You can’t be the only one defending the turf.” Iza spoke, leaning forward to press a soft kiss onto Zuo’s cheek, as if in attempt to numb the pain.

“I know that, Iz...just...” Zuo started out strong, but faltered. He was not a weak man by any means when it came to arguing but the gentleness he felt from Iza struck at his argument. Easily, Zuo gave into defeat, putting his hand on Iza’s waist, leaning forward toward them.

Iza moved his hands to cup their face, ghosting a kiss over Zuo’s lips. “Take a break, hm? Stay home with me for a day.” 

Zuo bunted his forehead onto Iza’s, in a not-so-nice manner, lowly growling in slight irritation. The action made the black feline meow. 

“A simple no would of been better.” Iza almost hissed, his ears leaned back and his tail swayed in quick movements of irritation. 

To Zuo, Iza was cute. They were smart and sometimes he got angry that they were smart, or at least cleaver. He could never help himself when it came to his emotions getting the better of him, making him react in an impulsive way. Zuo pressed a kiss onto Iza’s forehead, “Sorry, that’s not what I meant to do but, yeah, I think I’ll take a break then. Stay home with you and stuff.” 

The black feline’s ears perked, almost happy that Zuo would stay home. The city would go on without them for at least one day, or at least that’s how he saw it. One of Iza’s hands caressed Zuo’s cheek, to get to his hair and brush it back. Admiring the blond locks, “Good, it’s been a while since we spent time together, ne?” 

Zuo gave a soft laugh, enjoying the feel of Iza’s hand brushing through his hair. He brought his own hand to Iza’s face and took notice how how their eyes seemed to shimmer at the contact as if he were truly happy at the thought of spending time together and seeing how they turned to nuzzle into his hand, he hugged them closer to his chest with the hand that was still at Iza’s waist. Zuo’s face was at the crook between Iza’s neck and shoulder. “Yeah... it’s been a while.” He breathed. Ears twitching hearing how Iza began to purr which made him purr.

“Then, it’s a promise.” Iza said, moving his arms around Zuo’s chest to embrace him as he kept his face at his neck. Zuo moved his hand back to Iza’s waist, simply wanting to hold him. 

“Yeah, a promise.”