#zuko's harem

[hello-nichya-here]

Zucest and concubines II

I might have to post this in its entirety on AO3. Enjoy!

“RRRGGH!”

“Come on Azula, one more push!”

Katara’s words set Zuko’s heart racing. Soon, he and Azula would be holding their second child in their arms. Even better, it meant soon Azula would let go of his hand, preferrably before breaking the remaining bones in it.

With a final scream, the room was filled with the sounds of a crying babe.

“It’s a boy!” Katara called out.

“A boy… we have a son Zula.”

“A son… our son.” Azula briefly squeezed her brother’s shattered hand, before reaching out with both of her own. Her hands began grabbing fruitlessly at the air, letting everyone in the room, Katara included, that she wanted her baby.

Katara happily obliged after cleaning the boy off, his cries filling the room as he struggled in the hands of another. His cries faded as Azula pulled him against her, resting his head over her heart, letting their newborn fall asleep to the sound of his mother’s heartbeat.

“He’s beautiful… isn’t he Zuko?”

“Even better, he’s perfect. Because he’s ours.”

Katara smiled at the scene in front of her. Even today, it was hard to believe that the woman she had just helped through her second pregnancy was the same princess who chased her and her friends across the Earth Kingdom.

The same princess who’s mind was all but shattered after losing the Agni Kai. But with time, and effort, and a mountain of patience, Zuko had helped bring her mind back from the brink. It hadn’t been long after when the siblings began seeing each other in a romantic light.

That, likewise, had taken a great deal of patience for people to come around. But they had persevered, and the results spoke for themselves. The other nations were no longer fearful of what Zuko might do under her influence, and the people adored their new Queen.

This wasn’t the Azula who took Ba Sing Se. She wasn’t Ozai’s weapon anymore. She was Zuko’s wife, the much loved Fire Lady, a mother to the royal family and the Fire Nation.

Katara’s reminiscing was cut short when the doors opened, and in rushed the friends and family, Ty Lee first among them. Rushing to Azula’s side, she began bouncing in place, squealing at a volume only dog’s should be able to hear. Said squealing was followed by a barrage of ‘he’s so cute’ and begging Azula to reveal the baby’s name.

Before she could, Iroh stepped forward. In his arms, he held the ever curious Izumi, looking at the event unfolding with rapt attention.

“Before you reveal the name, I think someone else should be with you.”

Smiling, Zuko took Izumi in his arms, her face lighting up with a broad smile as she said “Dada.” Sitting next to Azula, he turned her towards her mother, and the bundle of joy in her arms.

“Izumi, this your brother, Heisei.”

Izumi looked, first at her brother, then at her father, and finally her brother again. As she did this, Heisei opened his eyes, the golden colour he inherited shining brightly. The pair briefly locked eyes, before Izumi began struggling to get closer, while her brother simply turned his head, nuzzling into his mother’s bosom as he tried to sleep.

The adorable scene continued, while Katara made mental notes of who was missing. Only Mai and Toph hadn’t shown up. Mai was to be expected, as she had barely been seen since the royal wedding, where some claim she had exchanged quiet words with Azula, before departing.

Toph on the other hand was an unexpected absence. The metalbending academy she had started was eating up much of her time, but given her newfound friendship with 'Lady Thunderbutt’ it was odd she wasn’t here.

Hours later, and Zuko was back in his office, reviewing paperwork that he had set aside until now. The task of ruling a nation was never truly done, and now he was finalizing the reformation of the Fire Nation’s finances, after Ozai’s policy of looting the Earth Kingdom and bribing pirates was ended.

His attention was turned from the scrolls in front of him to the door, as in walked none other than Toph Beifong.

“We missed you earlier today.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Had a situation back in Yu Dao, but it’s been settled.”

“One of the colonies? Anything I should know?”

“Nah, it’s fine. I visited Azula just now. Heisei’s adorable. Squishy, but adorable. Can’t wait to hear how the servants talk about Azula now.”

“The servants talk about Azula?”

“Nothing to worry about. They just joke about how Azula was when Izumi was a newborn. Some of them still swear Azula growl’s at them whenever they take Izumi to give her a bath.”

Zuko laughed at the image. “I remember that day. She turns the most adorable shades of red whenever it’s mentioned. It’s fun to tease her with it.”

“Speaking of teasing,” Toph’s voice had taken on a seductive tone, “she mentioned something about you needing some attention of your own.”

Zuko blinked in surprise, before turning to look at Toph. Instead of near the door, as he expected, she was only a few feet from him, crawling on her hands and knees, like before.

“Toph, what are you…” The words died in his throat as Toph reached him, placing her hand on his hardening crotch.

“Isn’t it obvious, master?” Toph gently massaged his manhood through the robes, before turning the chair to face her directly. “Your concubine is here to serve you.”

Without hesitation, Toph freed Zuko’s manhood from his robes, smiling as the throbbing cock was directly in front of her. Taking it in hand, she gave small, quick licks to the tip, teasing him as she brought his manhood to full size. As precum began forming at the tip, she quickly took him in her mouth, down to the very base.

Grunting in satisfaction and surprise, Zuko leaned back as Toph bobbed her head on his cock, the sound of shuffling papers replaced by the sound of Toph choking herself on him. Unconsciously, his hand went down to her head, guiding her as she pleased him.

Finally, with a grunt of satisfaction, he felt himself tense as he prepared to release down her throat. In response, Toph sped up her efforts, moving with a speed that defied the grip her throat had on him. When he finally released his load, she pulled back just enough to taste every rope he shot into her mouth and down her throat.

Licking her lips, she rose to her feet, slowly discarding her clothing as she did so. Zuko watched as her pert breasts were released from their confines, and she practically peeled the clothing from her lower body, teasingly revealing her tight ass.

Overcome by his desire, Zuko rose from his chair, grabbing Toph as he did so, and bending her over his desk, tearing her remaining clothes off as he did so. Soon, her bare backside was jutting out from his desk, with her tight, smooth pussy dripping with anticipation.

“Ohh, master, please hurry and use your concubine.”

Toph’s teasing tone pushed him over the edge, and without hesitation he positioned himself behind her, and thrust into her with all his strength. In a single motion, he filled her entirely, with the tip of his cock kissing the entrance to her fertile womb.

Pulling back, he teasingly pulled out until only the tip remained. Before she could tighten up, he thrust back into her, eliciting a sexy yelp from her. So he repeated the process, again and again, picking up speed as he fucked her. Looking down at her ass, bouncing off his cock, he instinctively spanked her, causing her to moan even louder.

So he did the only thing he could, and spanked her again, and again, until her cheeks were red as his robes, and he felt the pressure building inside. With a final roar, he pulled her onto him entirely, sitting back in his chair as he did so, and thrust straight into her cervix, and came deep inside her womb.

Rope after rope was fired, with Toph’s womb drinking every last drop like a man in the desert given his first drink. When he finally felt the last of his seed released inside her, he looked down at her, and saw the slight bump he had given her, just from his seed alone. As they recovered their breath, Zuko knew there was no way she wouldn’t get pregnant. Azula’s fantasy of assembling a harem for him to breed was becoming reality.

Not long after, Azula woke from her sleep, and looked over to see her son in his cradle, right next to the bed, so she knew her baby was safe. She wouldn’t be satisified knowing her baby was gettting anything but the best treatment, and who could treat a baby better than their mother?

As she pulled the now waking prince into her arms to begin feeding him, she found herself hosting an unexpected visitor.

“Ty Lee? Is something wrong?”

Ty Lee shuffled forward nervously. “Um… well, there might be a little… um, situation that… you should know about.”

“Oh? What seems to be the problem?”

“Well, I heard that Toph had arrived, and I wanted to talk to her about doing some training with the Kyoshi Warriors. The servants said she… went to see Zuko after visiting you.”

A sly grin appeared on Azula’s face. “Oh? And what did you see, when you went after her?”

Ty Lee blinked in surprise at Azula’s question, before a faint crimson appeared in her cheeks. Before she could answer, Azula continued.

“Did you see her and my husband, together, enjoying each other’s bodies?”

Ty Lee nodded, but that didn’t stop Azula, who merely motioned for her to come closer, as she lowered her voice to a whisper.

“Did you see her kneeling in front of him, servicing his throbbing manhood? Did you see how big it was, and wonder how it felt to choke on it? Or maybe you caught them in a more compromising position? Maybe you saw her taking my husband inside her, and wondered how someone so small, can handle something that big?”

Ty Lee nodded furiously to all her questions. She had seen all of it, and denial would serve no purpose, least of all as she felt a growing dampness between her legs. Best to play along and get out of there before she embarassed herself.

Azula seemed to disagree, as once Ty Lee was in arms reach, her free hand shot out, grabbing Ty Lee’s crotch, and gently rubbing it. Azula’s smirk grew as she felt how wet her friend was getting, imagining herself in Toph’s position.

Slowly, and gently, she pulled Ty Lee closer to her, before reaching up, and cupping one of her breasts. Gently squeezing it in her hands, she looked her friend in the eyes, as she asked the most important question.

“Did you want to join?”

Ty Lee surpressed a moan, as she whimpered out her answer.

“Yes.”

***

HOT DAMN!

[the-genius-az]

Zuko: Are you ready to play a game called dodgeball?

Katara: Sounds dangerous.

Mai: No way.

Suki: No, thank you.

Yue: I don't think I can play.

Ty lee: I think it's dangerous.

Zuko: The prize is a photo of Azula in a dragon suit when she was little!

Mai, Ty Lee, Katara, Yue and Suki: How to play?

[ask-ozai]

I have heard some people say that you had a harem ? Did you ?

Iroh being a lazy womanizer damaged the family's public image irremediably, I see. Some of us have honor. I was busy ruling a country and trying to expand our Empire to finally fulfill the dream of my ancestors. I definitely had no time to pursue women (like Iroh). I was also not only a proper Prince, but a married man too. You should be asking Ursa if she didn't have more playthings hidden somewhere apart from Ikea.

[dragomer]

Suki to Sokka: I’m a warrior, but I’m a girl too. *kisses his cheek*

Suki to Zuko: I’m a warrior, but I’m a devoted member of your bodyguard-harem too. *sucks his dick*

I'll never get over the fact that most lasting impact the comics had was the bodyguard-harem thing, that and the Zucest bait are the only two thing I like about it.

Also make perfect sense with her name after all.

Thanks for the ask ^^

[nautiscarader]

Mai and Zuko introducing Jin to court life in the fire kingdom and when it starts to get overwhelming they show her some of the places where nobody will bother them

(take it as fluffy or smutty as you want these three are just the first that came to mind, hope your night improves)

Jin never thought she would end up in the palace of the Fire Lord himself - nor that the Fire Lord will turn out to be the sweet boy Lee she stole his virginity from a year or so ago.

But now she was supposed to be a... concubine? A second Fire Lady? Participate in politics and high life?

No, as much as she loved Lee - or, Zuko - this wasn't her world... And Mai realised that. Fire Ember island, on the other hand...

It was far away from the capital and its rushed life, with almost idyllic scenery, and a house on the beach, something Jin secretly always dreamt of.

And when Zuko closed the door behind them, he was surprised to find both Jin and Mai already out of their robes, a bottle of wine and cups in their hands, ready to celebrate their new life.

[yandereaffections]

Hellsing Masterlist

Alucard

Falling in love HC

Turning S/o into his No Life Queen

Headcannons

The 30 years hes gone

How Alucard approaches you

Integras view on your relationship

Fluff HC

How freetime is spent wth his S.o

Protecting his S/o from the hands of Millienium

Alexander anderson trying to ‘save’ his S/o

Pet names hc

Using Alucards last name

Affection HC

Domestic HC

Alucards Child reader unintentionally being a yandere magnet 

Seeing his child reader after 30 years

Turning his S/o HC

Darling offering their blood to Seras

S/o’s hopelessly in love with him

Darling who greets him with nose rubs and kisses

Asking why he gave Seras a choice to Turn but not you

After care HC

Christmas w/ Alucard HC

S/o suffering through their period 

Sick S/o

S/o who’s basically a bunny

Darling visiting their family outside the country

Darling who is agressive unless theyre being held

Amnesiac S/o 

Foreign s/o introducing him to their family

Parental Alucard finding out his kid is in a harem

Small and innocent darling

S/o having to stay in their native country for family emergency 

Human S/o who’s terrified of him

Anemic and hemophobic Darling

oblivious S/o

Arguing with Alucard

Comforting Alucard after a nightmare

Accidently upseting his crush

S/o getting hurt

Alucards reaction to Seras being obsessed with his S/o

Playing Hide and Seek

Bunny who fears and avoids him

Accompanying his Bunny on chores

Alucards reaction to a bleeding S/o

Bunny using his jacket as a blanket while waiting for him to get back

Making Alucard melt

Showing Alucard merchandise of himself

Managing to get him a present

S/o is a university student

Bunny w/ low self esteem 

Yandere Alphabet: H,K,T

Alucard reacting to someone romantically approaching his bunny

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,E,I,Q

Yandere Alphabet: L,S,X

S/os Neurodivergent 

Alucard reacting to Iscariot trying to take you away from him

Punishing s/o

Vladcard headcannon

Playing Tag

Comforting Alucard

What makes Alucard go Feral

Feeding from Bunnys blood

Taking him to your home

Telling Alucard hes apart of your family

Sleeping in a coffin with him HC

Getting Alucard a gaming console 

Iscariot managing to kidnap Bunny

Finding a newly turned vampire s/o

Scaring off rivals

Trying to escape cuddling with him for your classes/work

S/o wanting revenge but not being able to take the last step

Darlings accident prone

Taking a bullet for him

Hellsing Alucard meeting Castlevania Alucard

Trying to cheer up his bunny

Platonic Headcannons

Loving Alucards voice

S/o shifting into sleep when showing him something

Darlings going to the hospital due to a mission injury 

Platonic Cuddling Headcannons

Trying to get him into a new hobby

S/o whos too shy to sing in front of him

Darling who seems dead while sleeping

S/o who cares for everything including monsters

Taking in a stray after a mission

Play fighting with him

Trying to hide him in fear people would try to experiment on him

S/o struggling to stay up all night

Pulling him off to dance

Touch starved Headcannons

S/o who fears confined spaces & cant sleep in the coffin

Narcoleptic S/o

Abridged Alucard & Normal Alucard fighting over you

Abridged Alucard Headcannons

S/o a bunny hybrid

S/o is a singer/dancer

Running into a tourist S/o during a mission

Being invited to a Wedding on S/os side of the family

Abridge Alucard interacting with normal Alucard

S/o is all loopy from getting their wisdom teeth removed

S/o showing favoritism towards Abridge Alucard and normal Alucard

Polar opposite S/o

Punk S/o whos only soft to him

S/o with a Zuko scar looking birthmark

MtF S/o

S/o worrying their not good enough for him

S/o whose aggressively affectionate

Wanting to wash with Alucard

Scientist S/o who loves talking about their interest

Human S/o who was experimented on and now has powers

Baskerville loves Alucards S/o

Giving him positive reinforcement 

Bunny likes to serenade him

Selectively mute S/o saying “I Love You” for the first time

Preference to the job at Hellsing S/o has

Getting caught in crossfire and being turned by a enemy vampire

Small buff s/o

Confessing to him first

College student S/o tied up in a bunch of college stress

Celebrating his Birthday

Taking him sight seeing in your home town

Taking S/o on a date to the aquarium 

“You look so cute―scared and shaking under my touch.”

“You’ve been so good for me. Don’t ruin it like this.”

Succubus S/o

S/o learning romanian 

Scary movies

Naga HC

Siren S/o

S/o gives him lil knicknacks from their home country

Biting him back

Bunny being the big spoon

Abridge Alucards ginger S/o being called “soulless”

Alucards ginger S/o being called “Soulless”

Yandere Alphabet D,F,H

Gamer/streamer S/o

S/o from our world appearing infront of the hellsing manor

Newly transformed Vampire S/o likes biting him as affection

Seras Victoria

Platonically obsessed with Alucards S/o

Reaction to Alucard turning his S/o (platonic)

Falling in love with Alucards S/o

Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing

Headcannons

Walter

Headcannons

Pip 

Headcannons

Alucard

NS FW HC

Somnophila HC 

S/o who likes to be choked 

Watching his bunny masturbate 

Cockwarming Headcannons 

Breeding Kink & Aphrodisiac 

Alucard and Abridged Alucard x s/o Threesome

[ecoterrorist-katara]

You know looking back, the pornstache on Haru was so traumatizing that I don't even remember anything he said or did after the Invasion. My brain low-key repressing the trauma😔

I choose to believe that his moustache was a blight to the animation team and they refused to draw him, that’s why we barely see him after DoBS 😭

actually, in the same way that I love the Zutara headcanon that Zuko helps Katara with chores after joining the Gaang, I headcanon that Haru does all the babysitting at the Western Air Temple. When they arrive, he runs off with Teo and The Duke, and I choose to interpret it as his way of trying to be helpful by keeping them out of the way. Katara and Haru also must have had a moment of “both our dads are in prison, that sucks.” It would be wildly out of character if they didn’t. (I also like the Zutara trope that Zuko is super jealous of Haru because he has great hair and Katara didn’t threaten to kill him.)

Idk what this says about me or the show, but my Katara harem fantasy is just boys doing chores for her lmao

[longing-for-rain]

Sorry, I just saw that ask from sunandmoonseisai saying “There's a lot of support for zutara on site like 4chan of all places." and the fuck? That site was (AND STILL IS) Zutara Hater Central. You can’t even mention them without getting called several different slurs.

Yeah I didn’t get that at all. I’m guessing she probably saw one Zuko x harem type post and ran with it, but you’re absolutely right, it is by no means popular. Honestly, at this point, I’d say the % of men on a social media site is directly proportional to the amount of Zutara hate, 4chan being no exception. Plus you have to recognize that most fandom content there is just…porn. I guarantee you will find no actual love for Zutara beyond the scenario I mentioned.

[atla-confessions]

After all the pearl clutching about slave Katara Zutara fics I took a gander over to AO3 to see how bad it was and see for myself exactly how sick and twisted these zk's really are.

I searched Zutara with the master/slave tag and chat I could not believe what I saw

a whole 10 hits

Three belonging to the same work, two where zuko is the slave, two harem fics and one multi fandom anthology fic giving a grand total of 3-3.5 slave Katara fics.

Okaaay, maybe I missed something?

Switched around to similar tags and got another slave zuko fic, a Katara is a healer in a brothel fic, a slave zuko zukka fic and a zucest 🤮/have zuko sleep with everyone who has a pulse fic.

Ngl the way people were freaking out I expected to find hundreds if not a thousand disgustingly written slave Katara fics. Not 3.5 out of nearly 8000 and certainly not that number of slave Zuko fics.

X

[imjustheretoseetheprivateblogs]

This is a silly poll that I made to torment fandom.

[hello-nichya-here]

In the Zuko harem of the fire foursome and the Kyoshi Warriors, to keep control over his girls, Zuko fucks harder the girl who was most well behaved that day, and spanks harder the one who gave him the most attitude. Now, the girl that gets fucked harder often changes. It's almost never the same for more than two days in a row. But the girl that gets spanked the hardest and for the longest period of time, is almost always the same, and I'm sure you can guess who it is

It doesn't take long for Zuko to figure out that, nine times out of ten, Azula is misbehaving and being bratty because she WANTS those nightly spankings.

He could just offer her the option to always spank her regardless of how she behaved during the day, but they just have a silent understanding that it would not be as fun for either of them if she didn't "earn" it first by getting on his nerves, then being put in her place.

[tokiyumejo]

Japanese WHB fandom literally summoned Michelleel while constantly drawing him, so I wanna do it too,

Zuko okay this isn't funny

Pretty boy with burn, come join my traumatized men harem pffffff

[zucest-week]

What are the rules for Zucest week?

The list I have on my mind is not really rules rules but guidelines and clarifications, but anyway, here you go anon.

1) Must contain Zucest. I think that much is obvious. It can be pining without relationship, it can be the process of establishing the relationship, it can take place during the relationship, it can be past Zucest after a nasty break up if you want some angst. Any type of Zucest, as long as it's there.

2) If somebody wants to, they can add a different side ship, but don't forget our main focus is Zucest. Fics that focus on different ships and toss Zucest to the sidelines will not be rebloged or associated with Zucest Week. Don't making a Maiko fic that happens to mention he fooled around with Azula once in the past.

3) Threesomes/Foursomes/Orgies are allowed. But it's essential that two out of the people in the gang bang will be Azula and Zuko and that they will be each other's primary focus. Zuko can have a harem, but Azula must be his favourite.

4) The threesomes/foursomes/orgies from "rule" number three can of course be incestuous. Let the Fire Family fuck their differences away, I don't mind. I won't be policing anyone's incest in this event, it's all about incest. But, as mentioned in rule three, Zuko and Azula must be each other's main focus. All fire family incest is glorious, but Zucest is the star of this show.

5) The following list of kinks had been deemed too sinful and disgusting for my tastes, so as the primary figure of morality of this world and as the center of the universe, I decided that anything containing the following kinks will not be associated with my event:

Literally, just do whatever the hell you want. I'm not kink police. It's fiction. We don't need kink police. Write whatever disgusting, sinful, twisted, illegal pornography you want. I'll still reblog it. This is an event for the people. I'm not restrict said people from having fun writing and reading whatever type of fic they want.

6) Smut is allowed and encouraged (Duh)

7) If for whatever reason, something happens, and you don't manage to post your work the day the drabble you used is meant for, that's okay. I'll still reblog even if it's one or two days late. If for some reason, you don't manage to complete all the works for the week, that's fine, I'll reblog as many as you've managed to post. If for some reason you complete a couple of works after the week is over, that's fine, I'll still reblog (I'll just need you to notify/tag me, because I won't go searching for fics in the tags after the week is over). I'll always reblog anything you guys write, at any time you write it.

8) Tag everything you post as "Zucest Week" or "Zucest Week 2024" or both. This helps everyone who's interested find your fic, and it helps me track it down and reblog it.

9) If, for whatever reason, you want to post works, but you don't want me to reblog them, let me now.

10) Some other event planners don't want the audience to suggest smutty prompts, because they don't want a day of the week to end up being filled with only smut prompt and force somebody to either write smut when they don't want to or not participate. Personally, I have found a different method to organize and select prompts, and that way I've managed to eliminate the possibilities of that happening, so write whatever prompt ideas you want, it's fine.

11) Yes, you can write a prompt idea even if you don't plan on writing. Not everyone is good at writing, and you don't have to write to participate to the event. You can also participate with drawings, poems, honorary posts or just by reading, enjoying and boosting fics of people that wrote something. And anyone who participates has the right to suggest a prompt.

Now, I got a couple of asks from a couple of anons asking for advice as to what they should do if they want to write for Zucest Week anonymously, so that they won't be associated with it and won't have to deal with the rage of some haters and antis. I get that not everyone is able to put up with that type of negativity. So this is how I can accommodate those people:

For Ao3

I recommend either publishing a fic as an anonymous author or publishing it normal and orphaning the work. In those cases, you won't be able to post your own fic on Tumblr without revealing your blog, so those people are free to send me an anon ask with a link for their anonymous/orphan work and I'll spread it around Tumblr for you. You can also privately message me and I'll spread around the work without revealing who wrote it and send it to me.

For Tumblr

If you write on Tumblr instead if Ao3, or if you write on both, but don't want to make a Tumblr post with your work to avoid the hate, you can type out the fic in an anon ask or a submission, and I'll reply to it with a simple dot/period/(.), so that it can be posted in the Zucest week blog without the author having to reveal their identity

For prompts

When I share the document for suggesting pronptsy, I'm certainly not monitoring who logs in to write something. So you can type out a prompt and still be anonymous, even to me.

[dragomer]

Do you think Zuko’s Kyoshi Warrior bodyguard harem would be a public thing everyone knows about from the start or would they try to keep it a secret for a while?

I could see it both ways. It would be hard to hide something like that but I could see them wanting to keep it quiet too. Especially if Suki is trying to break off her relationship with Sokka and not create a big fuss.

I don't think it would be announced or anything but people would definitely notice and it would become a known fact as it get started and develop into the harem thing.

They'd probably make it official in some way at some point, either between themselves or with some kind of real title or office or written document but that's it really.

Thanks for the ask ^^

[erisenyo]

thinking about what if sokka becomes fire lord consort but everyone from the southern water tribe mixes up consort and concubine because they have a democracy and more decentralized government and also because it’s funny

Anon I like the way you think!

The SWT trying to show their support by gifting Sokka like slinky robes and face paints and rather suggestive outfits and he's just like awesome, so many wonderful heat-conscious new clothes!

Sokka throwing himself into politics, followed by general confusion about whether concubines typically participate in and run political meetings and the sudden inexplicable conviction that Zuko’s Inner Council is just a weird name for his harem.

The North furiously debating whether they should offer up a concubine too and Zuko spending the next 10-15 years bemusedly convinced that the North is just culturally very flirtatious.

[letsgetreadytotumble]

2023 Tumblr Ultimate Fail Son Competition Round 1 Master Post

Shit Son of the Seven Seas (Buggy the Clown vs. Stede "The Gentleman Pirate" Bonnet)

WINNER: STEDE BONNET

Final Score: 33-67 549 total votes

Runts of the Litter (Rotti Siblings vs. Bluth Children)

WINNER: BLUTH CHILDREN

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V is for 'Vasectomy' (Vector vs. Vlad Olgimsky jr.)

WINNER: VECTOR

Final Score: 71-29 476 total votes

Rich Bitch (Kaz Khan vs. David Rose)

WINNER: DAVID ROSE

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Spoiled Stupid (Dandy Mott vs. Prince Charming)

WINNER: PRINCE CHARMING

Final Score: 9-91 457 total votes

Rage Boys (Fire Prince Zuko vs. Kylo Ren)

WINNER: PRINCE ZUKO

Final Score: 80-20 905 total votes

Holy Fuck Ups (Asriel Dreemurr vs. Jesus Christ [of Jesus Christ Superstar])

WINNER: ASRIEL DREAMURR

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Redeemed Failures (Otis "OJ" Haywood Jr. vs. Trevor Belmont)

WINNER: OJ HAYWOOD

Final Score: 46-54 402 total votes

Super Sons, Not So Super Dads (Rusty Venture vs. Steven's Dad)

WINNER: STEVEN'S DAD

Final Score: 42-58 674 total votes

Worst Selves (Joy Wang vs. Abraham Lincoln)

WINNER: JOY WANG

Final Score: 64-36 382 total votes

Trash-SHE (Dee Reynolds vs. Gaz Digzy)

WINNER: DEE REYNOLDS

Final Score: 82-18 297 total votes

Aaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman vs. Todd Chavez)

WINNER: JESSE PINKMAN

Final Score: 71-29 946 total votes

Sons of Sin (Godrick the Grafted vs. Revolver Ocelot)

WINNER: REVOLVER OCELOT

Final Score: 29-71 368 total votes

Harem Scare-em-the-bitches-away (Victor vs. Haida)

WINNER: VICTOR

Final Score: 51-49 433 total votes

Mama's Little Failures (Principal Skinner vs. Gazpacho)

WINNER: PRINCIPAL SKINNER

Final Score: 67-33 326 total votes

Baby Bitch Boy (Jesper vs. Zephyr Breeze)

WINNER: JESPER

Final Score: 59-41 352 total votes

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CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ROUND 2 RESULTS

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ROUND 3 RESULTS