#zoomers please read

[sagevalleymusings]

Do Not Give Away Personal Information

Hopefully folks see this even though I'm a very small blog, but I have an important safety PSA for the zoomers on tumblr. Story time (Names and Locations have been changed for privacy).

Yesterday, I was waiting for the bus. There was a fashionable young man sitting on the bench with me. It wound up being kind of a long and boring wait, and so inevitably, this young man and I started making small talk. We found out we had a bit of a six degrees of separation connection - we were both doing events at the same venue, though on different days. We got into it a little bit more, and he explained that he got this venue spot through his dad, then gave me his dad's first name.

So that's personal information number one and number two: his dad's first name is Lincoln and he's associated with the Crowe Community Center.

We were chatting more, about the weather this time, and he mentioned how much more he liked the weather than in North Dakota. This stranger, unprompted, gave me three pieces of personal information. I would like to defend myself a little bit by saying that initially when I Googled "Lincoln Crowe Community Center" it was because I wondered if I knew who this was. After all, I was doing an event there too, so maybe our connection was a little closer than I thought. However, it became immediately apparent that this young man's zoomer inclination to not safeguard his information combined with his parents' boomer inclination to overshare meant that almost immediately I had a massive amount of personal information at my disposal. The "young man" I met isn't a man at all - he's a minor. His name is Gus Johnson and he goes to school and West Side High School, which is a little bit odd, considering he lives at 45 East Brewer Ave, on the other side of town. But turns out his dad Lincoln Johnson and mom Rebecca Johnson are fundamentalists - in fact, Lincoln was a minister at Living Promise, which is a tiny evangelical church he founded that was running out of someone's basement for a while. They were so fundamentalist in fact that they pulled their four kids (Gus, Jeremy, Abigail, and Saul) out of school, but couldn't manage it with schedules and finances for very long, and so sent them to West Side instead of East Side (probably because East Side was too liberal, but that's an extrapolation on my part). I found the social media pages of every single one of his immediate family, his parents' jobs, the city where he grew up, the high school his dad went to, his date of birth and year in school, along with several important life events, all within about 20 minutes. At some point I started to get morbidly curious, and just kept kicking over rocks, and then out scurried a bunch of driver's licenses and library cards as fast as they could. I want to emphasize again that I had a fifteen minute conversation with a random child at a bus stop, and that child revealed enough information that I was able to get his home address and the address of his school, and where his dad works, along with 6 separate social media accounts, without any tools beyond searching publicly available information. Most people are good people. I'm not going to do anything nefarious with this information, and probably won't even remember the details tomorrow. The problem is that the kind of person who would do something nefarious would have been even friendlier than I was, making up lies and asking prompting questions until the kid had given up even more private information than he did. Do. Not. Give. Strangers. Private. Information. And if you are going to say something personal and private, don't make it worse by saying more than one. Knowing his dad's name and home state wouldn't have pulled up the right Lincoln. Knowing his dad's name and association with the community center would have pulled up the right guy, but then I would have had to spend extra time confirming that it was him. And most of the time, people aren't going to take the extra step. Knowing his dad's name and association with the community center, and that he was from North Dakota, meant that the very first search result I got (a bio from the center) meant I knew in five seconds that I'd found the right Lincoln Johnson.

[paper-mario-wiki]

Sometimes I wonder what made me follow you. You are super cool, but I don't know what it was that made me follow you, and out of both curiosity and shame, I never had the heart to unfollow. I come here on Tumblr once a fortnight, yet you are always like 65% of my timeline. So please take this the wrong way, today I just felt brave, and had to admit this one odd thought in my head. Still just gonna truck along, but if these is even a hint as to why and if you can, please tell me where I think you know where you are from. I know it's stupid, I'm really sorry.

80% of this reads like it was typed out by a cartoon mouse quaking in fear.

ive done a lot of things! i'll just try to like. remember a bunch of stuff ive done and i'll type it out as i remember it.

devil from the bible/memphis tennessee/HATSUNE MIKU IS THAT YOU/mikeiplier/mr x the librarian/snapcube. sans and papyrus (and other misc shitpost stuff) voice acting. genghis kanghis. liars club. batter-is-ooc. smaverage joe. fire eyes. mario BLJs through your wall to greet you. clown depot streams. ultra despair boys. "raspberry crowns are also a type of wasp". "frenchman's cumsock/why i dont want to learn chess". "well that was pretty con-fuckin-venient, im sorry for doubting you 7/11". googoo moments. horse crimes. music for unproductive zoomers (and other mashups). walkin' (animation meme).

it could be something else but that probably accounts for like 99% of the "i found you through this!" items on my portfolio.

[purpledemonlilyposting]

Responding to Lily Orchard on Utena

So I already talked about how Lily Orchard never watched Revolutionary Girl Utena and doesn't understand it on my main blog, and now she's trying to invoke the arguments I've had with other morons who have never watched and don't understand Revolutionary Girl Utena. Discussion beneath the cut!

[Lily's Post]

Here Lily and the little zoomers on Twitter who have never engaged with Utena beyond making a tumblr mood board, let me hold your hand through episode 33 The Prince Who Runs Through the Night from my "Let's Watch Utena" livestream from a few months ago. Uploaded unlisted:

Going "um sweaty she's a minor!!!???" instead of engaging with the actual text just stalls any meaningful discussion about the purpose of this episode within the narrative. Utena is a surrealistic piece that operates entirely on hazy dream logic. Trying to bring in real world ethics outside of the text into Akio's seduction Utena is simply irrelevant to what is being communicated. It would be like stalling every discussion about a revenge plot movie with "but murder is illegal!"

As I said on the stream Akio's seduction of Utena is Faustian. He is the devil pulling her further away from her gender role defiant values and her true purpose of saving Anthy from her eternal suffering, as she was spurred to do by the spirit of Dios. He is also using her because he thinks the Sword of Dios he can draw from her will be the key to opening the seal to the "Power of Revolution". But Akio can never regain the power of the Prince again, as he's a corrupt adult now. The ideal of the Prince that exists in both the hearts of Anthy and Utena.

This is a series you have to take within its own symbolic language. It is not interested in being realistic or straight forward. It's heavily influenced by experimental stage theater. Ikuhara purposefully wanted it to be tonally mismatched to put the audience in the mindset of the world.

On the next point:

I've been into Utena for 28 years. I've read lots of essays on it and have listened to many interpretations of it. I have no idea where this idea that Utena "rejects" Dios is suddenly coming from. I'll reiterate from the debate I had about this on Twitter:

Dios, the actual spirit of the ideal of the Prince, whose spirit she calls down during duels, who has only ever spoken to Utena in the space between life and death, appears here to Utena as the duel song chorus swells with "I exist! I'm here!"

Dios kisses her ring

And Utena finds the strength to get back up.

And when Akio is about to drain away the remainder of Utena's life? Dios, his presence completely unnoticed by Akio, quietly disappears behind the glass of pink liquid Akio is drinking. Never to be seen again. Dios has been Utena's ally throughout the entire show. Embodying the ideal of the Prince without having to be a prince is how she frees Anthy.

She puts her fist to the floor to lift herself up with the hand the ring is on. At no point does she "shatter the ring" as this person on Twitter tried to claim:

She has the intact ring still on for the rest of the episode. Because the ring represents her promise to free Anthy. You can watch the damn scenes yourself. The entire show is available on YouTube. I'd recommend watching the entire series first but here's the finale.

Wherever these painfully incorrect surface level readings of Utena are coming from please stop reading them and go to Ohtori.nu I beg.

[jcollinswrites]

After reading the update (and all your posts- I’m OBSESS), I am obligated to give some love to Thief MC!!! They’re so…scrunkly…so cringe fail…The thing about them still believing in child-eating crocodiles!! It’s so adorable, “The gall of the woman.” I totally agree, bestie. I love how even though they may not be academically smart, they’re still very capable and street-smart!! And may I say, the thief’s family- please it’s so full of life and mischief. Please please I hope the baby sister doesn’t die. That scene where the thief’s father recognizes Narmer…hehe, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree, I guess! Especially with how my thief panics and cringe fails like their life depends on it every time Narmer gets within line of sight. AND SESI!! Chaos besties!! Your ability to make us so attached to your characters and story is absolutely brilliant! Anyway, I’m rambling- SO I think I’ve properly conveyed my love for Thief MC! (^-^)

It's so funny to see zoomer talk even though I had to google a lot of these words you're using 😂 (I'm in my 30s and am NOT a native English-speaker)

Anyway, thank you for the nice message! I'm glad you like the thief so much! ✨ They really shine through in chapter2, yes? I love writing about their family, and Sesi and thief mc are gonna be a force on this mission ╰(*°▽°*)╯A weird, chaotic, amusing, awkward force, but still a force.

[wannab-urs]

You Have Me In a Chokehold | Mr. Ben (SNL) x teacher!reader | 18+

Summary: You’re a teacher at Mr. Ben’s school and you’re sitting in the “No More Fancams” assembly freaking out because he just showed your fancam on screen… Do you think he knows it was you? (AU where he’s not in love with Ms. Jenny, the assembly just ends with him being like “please don’t do this anymore, thanks”)

WC: 2.4k

Warnings: MDNI | 18+ | SMUT | no ages implied (all legal obvi), hair pulling, sir kink, very mild degrading language, fingering, unprotected PiV (don’t be silly, wrap your willy) (also y’all are teachers, you should know better), rough-ish sex but no one gets hurt, Mr. Ben is girthy (Big Ben ;) ), brief mention of the picture of dorian gray, which deserves its own warning if you’ve ever tried to teach that book to teenagers, extreme cringe in the first half. Gets weirdly fluffy at the end so if that kills your vibe just stop reading after the uhhhh climax of the story (if you catch my drift). Sorry we support aftercare in this house. I think that’s it, love y’all, enjoy! 

It’s 8 in the morning, supposed to be first period, and the principal has called for some technology assembly. You’re unlucky enough to have first period planning, you have essays to grade, and you won’t have a spare minute for the rest of the day. But sure, let’s all go sit in the gym so the boomers can lecture the zoomers about technology use. This is a great use of everyone’s time. 

You slip into the auditorium with 5 minutes to spare, hoping to go unnoticed in the back row. You’re just about to subtly put in your airpods and watch TikToks like 90% of the students, when you hear the principal introduce Mr. Ben. This assembly suddenly became worth paying attention to. 

Ben is by far the prettiest thing to look at in this school. He’s ridiculously broad chested, always wearing these just-shy-of-too-tight button ups that he pairs with definitely-a-little-too-tight pants, accentuating his cute butt. He has toned forearms, usually peeking out of rolled up sleeves, and huge hands that he waves around in the air or clasps in front of him when he speaks. And then, despite being this big, broad, powerful looking man, he has the sweetest face. 

His eyes are soft brown, hooded and turned down a little, so he’s basically making puppy dog eyes constantly. His nose is prominent and curved and sitting above the most adorably pouty lips. His facial hair is sparse and a little patchy, but honestly it just makes him even more charming. God, you have it so bad for this man. 

Your internal drooling over Ben is interrupted by the sound of a freshman at the front of the room yelling, “Come on guuurrrrl, eat it up!” Your eyes flick to the screen beside Ben. There are two very vague tech rules followed by… Shit. 

“Do not make fancams of school staff, such as this,” says Ben, gesturing at the screen. And your stomach does a somersalt. Shit! There’s a TikTok playing on the screen, and though you can’t quite make out the username, you definitely recognize the video. That’s your fancam. And Ben looks… mortified. He looks extremely uncomfortable. 

“You have made thousands of fancams of me and i’m not sure what they mean, but I know it has to stop,” he pleads. And fuck is he looking at you? He can’t know can he? There’s absolutely no way he knows. He’s just looking out toward the back of the auditorium. Yeah. You wouldn’t want to make eye contact with a bunch of 14 years olds while pictures of you flash on the screen either. That makes perfect sense. 

“We make them because you’re our beloved and you have us a in a chokehold,” screams another student toward the front. You wish he would put you in a chokehold. GOD what is wrong with you. Pull yourself together.

“Okay, don’t say that,” Ben says, wringing his hands together in front of him. You can see that he’s clearly uncomfortable. You should delete your account. Ban him from your thoughts. You’ve crossed the line big time.

“I just don’t understand. Why do you make sparkly fast romantic montages of me every single day?” he asks. Another fancam, thankfully not yours, begins playing on the screen. You have to get out of here. 

You stand up and try to sneak out as inconspicuously as possible, whispering “Bathroom,” in response to a disapproving look from another, older teacher. 

You break into a run as soon as you get into the hall and only slow down when you’re safely locked in the handicap stall of the teacher bathroom. You slide down the wall to the floor and press your face into your hands. You are so stupid. Of course making fancams of school staff is a bad idea. It’s bad when the kids do it… and really weird because they’re kids… but when another teacher does it? He could have you fired for this. 

But he doesn’t know. There’s no way he knows. 

You manage to make it through the rest of the day, somehow facing your classes and teaching them about nouns and reading a bit more of The Picture of Dorian Gray aloud. 

It’s finally the end of the day, but you still have those essays to grade, so you decide to set a timer for one hour and power through as many as you can. The school is so weirdly silent this long after final bell. The custodians won’t be in for another couple hours and pretty much every teacher and student has long gone home. 

You finish packing your tote bag and start shrugging on your coat when you hear a knock at the door. “Come in!” 

You freeze when the door opens. Shit.

“Ben! Hi! How can I help you? I was just leaving, but-” the sharp sound of the door slamming shut cuts off your nervous rambling. Ben stands with his hands behind his back, puffing his very broad chest out. 

“I was wondering if you could tell me something, sweetheart.” His voice is low, gravelly, and you feel like you’re being raked over hot coals. He knows. 

“Um. Sure?” you squeak out. Your face is on fire and you have no idea what to do with your hands. He takes a step toward you, looking for all the world like a predator stalking it’s pray. His eyes are dark, brow lowered, lips set in a hard line. He looks nothing like the shy, uncomfortable man from the assembly. 

Your bag drops to the floor and you take a stuttering step back toward your desk. 

“What’s your TikTok username?” he asks slowly, taking another step toward you. 

You gulp and fall back another step, thighs pressing against your desk now. Your shake your head and glue your eyes to the floor. 

“Don’t make me ask again.” And oh god he’s right in front of you now. He hooks a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his. His pupils are blown so wide, you can barely see his usually warm brown irises. Wait is he turned on right now? 

“It’s- uh… I don’t have one!” you stammer out. You try to look away, but his fingers hold your chin in place. He leans a bit closer, his breath ghosting over your face, and presses his other palm into the desk beside you. He tsks and presses his thumb to your bottom lip.

“Don’t lie to me,” he growls out, and oh that went straight to your core. You squirm in his hold and that’s when you truly realize how close he is. His body is nearly pressed against yours. 

“It’s- it’s… fuck. It’s MrBensLittleSlut…” you stammer out. You feel like you’re on fire, ashamed of your actions, but also incredibly fucking turned on. The object of your not-so-innocent crush has you pressed against your desk like some school girl fantasy. 

“And do you really want to be my little slut, sweetheart?” Holy. Shit. Did he really just ask you that? Your heart actually stops beating in your chest for a second. You nod. 

“Aloud, please.” 

“Yes, sir,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut. 

He brings one hand to the back of your head and wraps your hair around his fingers, pulling your head back slightly. You whimper and he leans in, brushing his lips against your ear. 

“Good girl,” he purrs. And you think you’ll melt into puddle on the spot. His hands slide to your hips and he lifts you up onto the edge of the desk. You instinctively part your legs and he presses himself flush against you. He keeps one hand on your waist to steady you and slides the other back up into your hair and suddenly his lips are on yours. 

It’s sloppy and open mouthed and greedy. He licks into your mouth, curling his tongue around yours. Your hands find purchase around his biceps and you hold on for dear life. His fist tightens in your hair and you moan wantonly, throwing your head back and pushing your hips up into his, chasing friction. 

His lips trail down your jaw and he nips at your earlobe before sucking a kiss to the spot where your jaw meets your throat. You dig your nails into his muscular arms and choke on a gasp. 

“Please,” you whine, shifting your hips against him again.

“Please what, sweetheart?” you can feel him smirking into the skin of your throat. He loves how riled up you are. Loves watching you try and fail to grind yourself on him. 

“Please- please touch me, sir,” he rolls his hips into yours, finally giving you something. Anything to ease the burning desire between your legs.

“You’re so pretty when you beg,” he growls in your ear. Then you feel his right hand leave your waist and pull up your skirt. He drags his fingertips up the inside of your left thigh, featherlight. Finally, he hooks two fingers into the soaked crotch of your panties and drags his knuckles across your clit. 

You suck in a gasp and a little “Oh” falls from your lips. He pulls back, keeping his left hand in your hair and watches as he slowly sinks two fingers into your cunt, down to the knuckle. Your hands ball up into fists, twisting the sleeves of his shirt and you let out a long, breathy moan. 

“You’re so wet for me already, sweetheart. Really are a little slut, aren’t you?” Your pussy clenches around his thick fingers at his words.

“Yes! Yes, I’m your little slut!” you gasp out.

He pumps his fingers in and out of you, hooking them just right so that he hits the spongy spot inside you every time. You’re holding onto his shirt so tight you think you might rip the sleeves off. You can hear how wet you are, the sound echoing off the cinderblock walls. You start moving your hips to meet the thrust of his fingers inside you, chasing your orgasm. 

“I’m-- I’m gonna--” you clench hard around his fingers, so close to tipping over the edge.

And then his touch is gone. He’s pulled his fingers out of you and let go of you completely, taking a step back. You let out an actual scream of frustration. “No!” you shout, slumping back until your head hits your desk. You actually pout at him.

“Not yet, sweetheart. Want you to come on my cock.” His voice is so low, you almost can’t hear him over the sound of your heaving breaths. “Sit up, pretty girl.”

You push yourself back up and take in his appearance. Other than his rumpled shirt, he looks completely unbothered. His hair is still effortlessly tousled, his face is set into a teasing smirk. The fucker didn’t even break a sweat and you’re gasping for breath like a fish out of water. Pretty girl. He called you pretty.

“Bend over the desk, sweetheart.” 

You scramble to obey his request, standing up and bending over, pushing your ass into the air. You press your forehead into the desk and try to calm your fluttering heart rate. 

Suddenly… finally… you feel his hands on you. He grabs your skirt and bunches it up around your waist. His fingertips slide into the waistband of your panties and he pushes them down, letting them settle around your ankles. You hear the clink of a belt buckle, the tug of a zipper, and then you feel him. 

He slides his cock between your clenched thighs, through the wet folds of your pussy and oh god. You can’t see him, but you can feel that he’s thick. The head of his cock presses against your clit and you moan. 

“Such a pretty little pussy… I’m going to ruin it.” You gasp, but before you can respond, he’s moving. In one fluid motion, he pulls back, kicks your feet apart, and pushes all the way into you. 

“Oh fuck,” you moan out. You might pass out from pleasure. His cock is thick, filling you up and stretching you out more than you ever have been before. He holds still inside you while you clench and unclench around his girth, trying to get used to it. “So big.” you gasp into the desk. 

“I know, baby.” And then he moves, pulling all the way out to the tip and thrusting hard, all the way back in. The force of his hips smacking against your ass jolts you into the desk, making you cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain and sprawl forward on the desk. 

Ben grabs your shoulder with one hand, tightens his grip on your hip with the other, and resumes fucking into you at an absolutely brutal pace. 

Some part of you is scared you’ll get caught, but that part is overpowered by the euphoria you feel. You’re moaning and babbling incoherently as his cock hits that sweet spot deep inside you and grinds into it with every thrust. 

“Is my. Little. Slut. Gonna. Come. on my. Cock?” Ben grits out between thrusts. 

You cry out a garbled response. Your cunt is fluttering around his thick length and your eyes are rolling into the back of your head and there’s no way you can form words right now. 

Ben wraps his arm around your chest and pulls you back against him. His cock hits something deep inside you and you come with an agonizing cry, gushing around his cock and soaking him to the base. 

Your whole body goes limp with the force of your orgasm, but he holds you up and continues fucking up into you. After a few more thrusts, he pulls out and covers your ass and thighs in his release, letting out a low groan as the thick ropes hit your skin. 

You’re lying on the desk on your stomach, naked ass still in the air. It’s a ridiculous position to lay in, but you’re still riding the high of your orgasm and too blissed out to care. You jolt as you feel silk move across your over-sensitive skin. 

“What’re you doing?” You’re so drunk on his cock, it comes out slurred.

“Cleaning you up, sweetheart,” Ben says. Is he- he’s cleaning you up with his tie. Fuck that’s hot. And sweet? 

“Thank you…” you sigh into the desk. He pulls your panties back up for you and settles your skirt back down around your legs.

“Can you sit up for me, baby?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to your feet, nestling your head into the curve of his shoulder.

It’s not fair for him to fuck you that good and go right to being the sweet, bashful man you thought you knew. 

He brushes your hair out of your face and presses a soft, almost tender, kiss to your nose. You giggle and the sound makes him break out into a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his dimple peeking out behind a 5 o’clock shadow. 

“Come on, sweetheart, I’ll walk you to your car.” 

He grabs your coat and your tote bag, slips his hand into yours, and leads you out to the parking lot.

a/n: I’m so sorry. This is ridiculous and I apologize for the no plot snl character porn fic. 

Tags: @beskarandblasters @meveispunk

[thetargaryenbride]

Nail To The Coffin - S2 - Chapter 8

Warnings: blood, injury

Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 6575

A.N: And thus, we have arrived at the end. Well, there will be one more chapter to officially wrap up season 2 because some characters need some more communication, but like, the S2 plot itself is at least over. Billy is hard to deal with but I'm trying to have him interact and maybe slowly begin to change. Hopefully, I'll pull it off haha As always, please do make me know if I’ve written certain characters OOC and if you think there is something that can be corrected within the story. Thank you for reading. Hope you like it! 🖤 🥀

Masterlist || Chapter 7 || Chapter 9

For the next hour or so, the whole group had united strength and had concocted a plan to redecorate the shed so they could interrogate Will. Your heart broke for the nth time since the beginning of this month as you had to helplessly witness your brother go through horrible thing after horrible thing yet again.

And as if your mental turmoil wasn’t enough, the physical one wasn’t giving you peace either. In fact, you were feeling as if your condition was getting worse. You were getting colder and colder and you could feel sweat forming on your forehead.

“I get why El was your mage now,” you overheard Max talking in the kitchen as she and Mike were getting more supplies to take to the shed.

“What?”

“Lucas. He told me all about her.”

“Well, he shouldn’t have,” said the boy disgruntled and you frowned. “And just because you know the truth, it doesn’t mean you’re in our party. You do know that, right?”

“Yeah, I-I know…I mean, why would you want a stupid zoomer in your party anyways?” she spoke after a while. “I’m just saying, El? She sounds like she was really awesome.”

You understood that Mike felt horrible since El left and now with Max’s sudden appearance and the boys having no problem accepting her into the party must have seemed to him as if the group was replacing Eleven which was not the case.

Max probably felt equally as horrible because of his cold behavior. She also seemed to be pretty much just an outcast as Mike, Dustin, Lucas and Will were, so you supposed school wasn’t that much of a pleasant experience for her. On top of all, she had Billy for a brother so that must be tough. Not that you claimed to know how Billy was behind closed doors and how he acted around his family but you’ve seen enough of his behavior in public so that prompted you to believe he was a pain in the ass, hence why you had offered Max to come to you if he became too much to handle.

You just had a knack for helping fix broken things.  

“Yeah…she was…Until that thing took her. Just like it took Bob,” he said tersely before getting up to leave.

“Hey,” you called out, making him halt in his tracks. “Come here,” you beckoned him over with your hand and he approached you, kneeling down by your side.

“What is it? Are you feeling sick? Do you need me to call someone?” he blabbered and you smiled. It was sweet that he was concerned.

“I just need to talk to you about something,” you said as you took his hand and patted it, eyes shooting to look at Max who walked out of the house, seemingly in bad spirits, before you looked back at the boy. “Listen…I know that you probably feel like you’d be replacing El if you accept Max into the party…but that’s not how things happen, you know?” you told him softly, voice changing from whisper to low speaking to whisper again, and he looked at the floor. “The party is like a family. There is always room for expansion. The bigger the family, the more fun we get to have, the more precious moments we get to experience…the more support we get to receive. And Max? She’s-she is a great kid. She fits right in,” you let out a breathy chuckle. “I mean, we kind of accepted Steve, Nancy and Jonathan into the party after last year’s events and look how things got more interesting, no? But that doesn’t mean we’re replacing El because she’ll always have a very special place in the party…and in our hearts…Got it?” you asked as you tapped his nose and his lip twitched in a small smile before he nodded.

“Yeah…”

“Off you go now,” you patted his shoulder and he stood up, sparing you one last glance before going outside.

Not long after, the preparations were completed and everyone returned back in the house with the exception of Mike, Hopper, Jonathan, and Joyce who stayed to interrogate Will. The kids and Nancy were pacing and moping in the kitchen and the corridor while Steve joined you.    

“You think this is gonna work?” you asked and he nodded.

“Of course, it’s gonna work. What, did you suddenly lose faith in the plan?”

“No, it’s just…expect the unexpected, right?”

Just when you said that the lights began flickering like mad. It took them a couple of seconds to stop and sometime later, Hopper and the others barged into the house.

“What happened?” asked Dustin and you tried to lift yourself to get a better look only for Steve to squeeze your hand warningly and send you a scolding look which made you give up on your attempts and stay down.

“I think he’s talking, just not with words.”

“What is that?” asked Steve as he stood up to approach the table where everyone had gathered.

“Morse code.”

“H-E-R-E.”

“Here.”

“Will’s still in there. He’s talking to us.”

“I have an idea,” spouted your brother before he rushed to his room and then you saw him carrying the stereo outside.

“Steve,” you called out softly and the boy immediately knelt by your side. “Take me to Will.”

“What? No! You should be lying down.”

“Please,” you sent him a look and the two of you stared at each other for a while before he finally relented, letting out a long sigh and running a hand through his hair.

“Alright, hang on,” he instructed as he wriggled his hands underneath your form and lifted you very slowly.

“Harrington, what the hell are you doing?” snapped Hopper when he saw Steve carry you out of the house. “She shouldn’t be in any other position other than lying down!”

“Hopper, please,” you begged. “He’s my brother.”

“I mean, you can’t resist the puppy eyes, man, why do you think I’m standing here right now,” quipped Steve and Hopper rubbed his face and let out a long exhale, utterly exasperated.

“Alright, go in,” he opened the door and let you pass through.

Your eyes immediately fell on Will’s form and your blood ran cold at the sight of him tied up

“Hey, what are you doing here?” asked gently Joyce as she rushed to help Steve put you down on the chair in front of Will. “You shouldn’t be up and about, baby, you’ll hurt yourself,” she sniffed as she caressed your face and you gave her a smile.

“I’m fine, mama. I just…had to come talk to him.”

“I know…I know…”

“Will?” you finally faced your brother and your heart clenched for the nth time. “I know you’re still in there. I know you’re listening. And I want you to know something that I haven’t spoken about before. But once this is over, I will tell you of it again,” you began and Joyce, Hopper, Steve, and Jonathan shared a look as they focused on you and Will.

“There was that time…it wasn’t long ago actually, but rather recently…when me, mom, and Jonathan were all so busy with work and school that we barely had time to eat properly, much less cook. We could spare time to make you something but we kind of neglected ourselves. One night, me and Jonathan got home very late. Mom was already asleep and we thought you were too. But we were surprised to see the lights in the kitchen still on and you in there with an apron and everything. You had cooked us dinner,” you smiled through the throbbing pain in your abdomen and ribs, fiddling with your fingers and plucking finger skins as you tried to gather enough strength to keep going. “You scolded us for eating microwave food or skipping meals in general and forced us to sit down and eat. You were adorable. You prepared all our favorite dishes. Mind you, they weren’t perfect but we didn’t expect them to be since it was the first time you cooked by yourself. But it wasn’t the stomach they fed anyways. They fed the soul. Because the gesture, showing that you care and doing something for someone, is what matters most. And you kept doing it for quite some time, even when we stopped with the microwave food and me and Jonathan began cooking again. You still insisted on doing things for us. It began with the cooking, then you helped clean, then you began preparing my clothes for the day just so I can get extra ten minutes of sleep instead of wasting them on picking outfits and I gotta say, you have some great sense of fashion,” you chuckled as you shook your head and Will just stared at you intently, fingers tapping against the leg of the chair.

“You even began delving into history just so I had someone to talk to about those kinds of things. Because no one else is interested in that. Most are sticking with science and all so it gets a bit lonely to not have someone to brainstorm with about history, languages, and art. But you began learning just because of me. And that’s the kindest thing someone could do for another. And-“ you choked on your words and cleared your throat, swallowing the tears. “and, um…when you’d find me halfway passed out on the couch after those heavy doses of the special K, you’d make sure I was lying comfortably and covered nicely with a blanket. You even learned to make chamomile tea for me. To help me fight off stress and headaches,” you cleared your throat again as you rubbed at your eye and sent him another wobbly smile. “What I’m trying to say here is that…you’re my precious brother who is selfless and kind beyond belief. One-of-a-kind. And I don’t believe for a second that he’s gone.”

For a second there you could swear you saw his eyes shine and glisten. You could swear you saw a glimpse of Will but it was gone with the snap of fingers and you looked down in defeat.

“Hey…don’t despair. We keep on going,” whispered Jonathan as he caressed your head and you nodded.

“Yeah, we keep going, she gets back inside,” ordered Hopper as he nudged his head to the door, signaling Steve to take you out. “I don’t want to risk the wound reopening with all that moving and bending. Go.”

Steve didn’t hesitate to take you in his arms and follow the man’s command, quickly exiting the shed, and taking you back inside where he placed you back down on the sofa.

After that, you didn’t know how long it’s been since your mother and brother were in there, trying to get anything out of Will as you were dozing in and out of sleep, but at one point you were jerked into the world of the living when you heard the kids whoop in triumph and you strained your ears to listen to them.

“Close gate,” echoed all of them, and your face fell.

So in order to get rid of the monster you had to close the gate in the lab and before you did that you had to find a way to get that thing out of Will so he wouldn’t die in the process. You still had no idea whether you were connected to it or not because you still weren’t feeling any different but you really hoped you weren’t, otherwise, things would just get even more complicated.

“El…we need El,” you whispered and Steve – the only one being closest to you and able to hear – whirled around and gave you a look of confusion. You would have to explain to everyone that she was actually not dead and they would feel angry and betrayed and you really didn’t have the mental or physical capacity to deal with this right now so you were just going to leave this all to Hopper to handle.

Just then the phone rang, making everyone jump.

“Shit! Shit!” Dustin voiced what everyone was thinking as he went to open and close the phone. But it rang again and this time Nancy completely tore it off the wall and slammed it on the ground.

“Well that was unnecessary,” you scowled.

“Do you think he heard that?” asked Max.

“It’s just a phone. It could be anywhere. Right?” Steve tried to bring some positivity but even he was unsure.

As if on cue, the sound of screeching monsters echoed in the distance and it made everyone’s neck hair bristle.

“That’s not good,” drawled Dustin as he, Max, Mike, and Lucas rushed to look outside the windows.

“Uhm, anyone else think we should be getting the hell outta here?” asked Steve a bit panicky as he kneeled by your side, head darting to look at every occupant in the room.

“But they are so close! There’s no time,” exclaimed Nancy worriedly.

“Great! Then we’re all gonna die,” he quipped sarcastically.

“Hey! Hey, get away from the windows!” warned Hopper and the kids immediately moved away and went to the center of the room. “Y/N is there a room that doesn’t have a window?” he asked and you shook your head, making him curse under his breath. “Alright, alright…Harrington you can swing the bat, right?” he asked and Steve nodded, already adjusting the weapon in his hand. “Good. Now, who knows how to use this?” he showcased the shotgun and everyone shared looks before Nancy spoke up.

“I can.”

“Jonathan, you’ll be responsible for your sister. Stick to her side and stay behind the group,” he instructed him while handing the weapon to Nancy and the boy nodded. If the monsters were to storm in and attack, they wouldn’t harm Will because he was a host. But your situation was unclear and you were injured on top of all so you’d be the first to die, hence why you needed to be behind the protective line everyone was forming.

“C’mon. I know it’s gonna hurt but bear with me, ok?” your brother spoke gently as he put his arms under you and slowly lifted you. You winced as your hand went to grasp his shoulder, head buried in his chest. “I know, I know, it’s ok. I’m done,” he whispered in your hair as he stood up from the crouched position and moved as far away from the windows as possible, hiding behind Steve, Hopper, and Nancy.

The screeching and growling were getting too close for comfort and all of you stared at the windows, the doors, and pretty much every corner, expecting something to barge in. The tension and the fear were suffocating.

“What are they doing!?”

“Playing with their prey,” you whispered as you held tightly onto Jonathan and his grip on you strengthened.

Suddenly, a monster was lurched through the window making all of you jump, the broken glass flying everywhere as the creature landed on the ground and stayed there, unmoving.

The group cautiously approached the Demo-dog and all of you were shocked to see it was dead after Hopper nudged it with his foot and it still didn’t move.

“Holy shit!”

“Is it dead!?”

Then the door got unlocked and all of you snapped to look at it, making you wince as Jonathan jerked your body when he turned around sharply.

But when they saw who entered, everyone got numb with shock.

Everyone, except you and Hopper who felt mostly relief.

Eleven has returned.

You watched on happily, a smile growing on your face when Mike and El hugged, finally reuniting after a whole year of being apart, the two of them crying and letting out breaths of relief. It honestly made you tear up.

“I never gave up on you,” he told her once they pulled apart. “I called you every night. Every night for-“

“Three-hundred and fifty-three days… I heard.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were there?” he asked confused. “That you were ok?”

“Because I wouldn’t let her,” Hopper finally revealed and Mike’s face fell with realization as he backed away to make room for the man to get closer. “The hell is this? Where have you been?” he asked and she matched his energy.

“Where have you been?”

But there was no animosity between them, only concern and relief as they hugged.

“You’ve been hiding her…You’ve been hiding her this whole time!” yelled Mike as he hit Hopper’s arm and the man grabbed him by the collar.

“Hey!... Let’s talk…Alone,” he grit out and proceeded to drag the boy into one of the rooms.

Eleven watched them go before she finally turned to face the others and her eyes widened when she saw you in Jonathan’s arms.

“Y/N!” she gasped as she ran to you and you reached out for her, wrapping an arm around her and bringing her as close to you as you possibly could in this position, giving her a long kiss on the temple. “You’re…you’re hurt,” she gulped as she pulled away and saw the blood stains, eyes filling with worry as she grasped your hand tightly.  

“I’ll be ok. Don’t worry. But, I’m so sorry I didn’t come to check on you, baby,” you sniffed. “I left you all alone when I should’ve taken you with me and brought you here or something,” you apologized and she shook her head.

“It’s not your fault…and…I wasn’t home,” she admitted bashfully and you scrunched up your eyebrows in confusion.

“Wait…you knew about her too!?” exclaimed Dustin and you sent them an apologetic smile, making him and Lucas look at each other and throw their hands in frustration. “Wonderful! Did everyone besides us know!?”

“Hey,” muttered El as she neared the boys and smiled at them. “Don’t get angry…We’re together now. It’s all that matters,” she said as she hugged them and they returned it full-force.

While she got acquainted with the others, Jonathan brought you back to the sofa and let you lie down after Joyce brushed any shards of glass off it, adjusting you so you could be comfortable. The blanket had been wrapped around you the whole time so he only straightened it a bit and tucked you in.   

“Can you…bring me some water,” you cleared your throat and your brother nodded, heading for the kitchen. You could hear the boys catching up Eleven on everything that has happened and explaining to her the possible plans and outcomes. But you heard it all as background noise because all your focus was on your burning side area.

You shut your eyes and let out a shaky breath as your hand went to nestle itself on top of the wound. The pain was beginning to slightly increase and you were beginning to feel a bit out of it. But you didn’t want Jonathan or the others to notice. They had more important things to deal with right now and saving Will and closing the gate were the top priorities.

“It’s not like it was before. It’s grown. A lot…And I mean, that’s considering we can get in there. The place is crawling with those dogs.”

‘Use a decoy’ is what you wanted to shout at them but for some reason, you just couldn’t find the strength to do so anymore.

“I can do it.”

“You’re not hearing me.”

“I’m hearing you. I can do it,” spoke El confidently and Mike sighed dejectedly.

“Even if El can, there’s still another problem. If the brain dies, the body dies.”

“I thought that was the whole point,” joined Max.

“It is but…if we’re really right about this, I mean if El closes the gate and kills the Mind Flayer’s army-“

“Will’s a part of that army.”

“Closing the gate will kill him.”

“Harsh conditions,” muttered Joyce after a moment of silence.

“What?” asked Hopper and she whirled to face everyone.

“Back in the lab! Y/N suggested to Dr. Owens to create harsh conditions for the virus so it can’t survive within the host anymore!” she snapped her fingers and everyone’s eyes widened.

“Will keeps saying that he likes it cold,” muttered Jonathan.

“Exactly! We keep giving it what it wants!” exclaimed the woman.

“So we make the host uninhabitable…We need to burn it out of him!”

“But what about Y/N?” asked Joyce suddenly and everyone’s hopeful faces fell. “I mean, the doctor told us her examinations are similar, yet different to those of Will. What if-what if she’s also become a host?” she gnawed on her lip worriedly and Hopper shook his head.

“No, I don’t think that’s the case anymore. She would’ve shown symptoms by now. With Will it took shortly for them to show, right? She doesn’t share any of the symptoms he had.”

“Then what does this mean?”

“My best guess is that when she fell and hit her head down in the tunnels, particles, and slime from the vines got into her wound and probably spread through her bloodstream. Sure it was a minor head trauma that didn’t require stitches but the side of her head still got quite grazed so it might have gotten in through there and maybe that’s what altered the results,” he explained and Joyce tightened her lips, still unconvinced.

“If they are indeed connected, maybe removing the virus from the main host will automatically remove it from other hosts!” suggested Mike hopefully.

“So when we start burning it out of Will, it’s gonna show on Y/N too. That is if she’s also infected. We have to bet on this. We can’t move Y/N in her condition,” Hopper sent Joyce a look and she gave up, nodding her head.

“Then…I’ll take Will somewhere and burn that thing out of him.”

“You can go to my cabin. I’ll tell you which way to go,” offered Hopper and Jonathan waved his hand.

“Hold on! You can’t just go alone, mom.”

“Jonathan, you have to stay here with your sister. We can’t leave her alone.”

“She’s not alone,” intervened Steve. “I’ll be here. We’ll keep in touch the whole time and if something comes up I’ll tell you,” suggested the boy and Joyce looked at him for a while, hesitating, before she finally agreed.

“Ok…ok, then me and Jonathan will take Will and-and go to Hopper’s cabin. Honey, go fetch all the heaters that we have,” she instructed him and he bolted out of the room with Nancy on his tail.

“Me and the kid will head for the lab,” said Hopper. “The rest will stay here.”

“What? No way! Just the two of you? That’s-that’s dangerous,” barked Mike and Hopper rubbed his temple in frustration.

“Oh, really, and who’s gonna assist us in getting rid of the dogs? You?” he lifted his brows. “Or him,” he pointed at Dustin and then at Lucas and Max. “Or the slingshot over there? You’ll only be on the way. You’re staying here and that’s non-negotiable.”

“Hey, sweetie,” whispered Joyce as she knelt by your side and your eyes fluttered open although you found it hard to do so. “Hang on just for a bit more, hm? We’ll fix this very soon and everything will be ok,” she caressed your head and you gave her a small smile. Jonathan was there too, also smiling encouragingly at you.

There was hope in the air now.

It was refreshing.

You could almost see the ending of this all. You could feel it in the palm of your hand and you were ready to grasp it.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me,” you breathed out and she placed a kiss on your forehead while Jonathan took your hand and squeezed.

“We’ll be back soon.”

Afterward, everyone left the house, leaving you all alone inside.

You supposed they were all saying goodbyes to each other, wishing good luck to one another, that sort of thing. But you secretly wanted someone to come back inside already because the silence and the emptiness were making you very uneasy.

“Hey,” as if answering your prayer, Steve’s familiar voice sounded in your ears and you did a double-take, not even realizing that a couple of minutes had passed already and Steve and the kids had returned inside. For a moment there you thought you were truly getting delirious.

He plopped on the carpeted floor next to you. “I, uh…I know it’s irrelevant right now but…” he began saying but stopped himself, making you furrow your eyebrows.

“Whatever it is, say it. We can’t pass the time by just staring at each other, right?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he chuckled lightly. “I just…officially broke up with Nancy,” he revealed and your eyes widened.

“What?... Things were really, not going well between you two?” you asked sympathetically.

“I think we just realized that we don’t actually love one another.”

The two of you fell into silence then. Steve was fiddling with his fingers as he seemed to be deep in thought and then he left your side to join the kids at cleaning up the place. Except they had gotten into an argument while cleaning because the kids had suggested a crazy plan to go out there and act as a decoy, draw the monsters out of the lab so Hopper and El could get through without a problem.

“And what? We’re just gonna leave Y/N here alone? Did you think about that? And once again, if we do this, we’re toast, dude. We’re dead!”

“But-“

“No, no, no, no, no! No buts. I promised to keep you shitheads safe and that’s exactly what I plan on doing,” he stated firmly. “We’re staying here. On the bench. And we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job. Does everybody understand?”

“This isn’t a stupid sports game!”

“I said does everybody understand that!? I need a yes.”  

You actually agreed with their decoy plan and you wanted them to carry it through because you didn’t want Hopper and El to face dozens of monsters on their own but you had no idea how you were going to convince Steve to go through with it. You let out a long shaky exhale as you shifted uncomfortably and tried calming yourself, focusing on dispersing the pain. But it wasn’t helping.

Everyone kept silent for a while before nodding in defeat and he threw the rag onto the table before going to check on you.

“Are you ok?” right after the words slipped his mouth he immediately kicked himself for asking such a stupid question.

“I’m fine,” you whispered but he marched to your side and put a hand on your forehead anyway. He frowned deeply at how cool and clammy your skin was. Then he rounded the sofa and knelt by your side.

“Steve?” you called out quietly, eyes closed, resting.

“Yeah?” he gently pulled the blanket and his eyes widened.

There was blood everywhere. It had seeped through the stitches apparently, staining a big chunk of the bandages and the tank top. His whole body ran cold as panic settled in his gut.

“If I die-“

“Jesus, sometimes you can be so dramatic. No different than Munson and Henderson, I swear,” he drawled, voice rumbling and reverberating lowly as he tried to compose himself, his hands shaking when he pulled the blanket back up to your chest, gulping a lump that had stuck in his throat.  

“Well, that’s an interesting pair if I’ve heard one…These two will get along,” a weak smile graced your features and he tried to fight back the welling of tears and find strength in his voice to keep it steady.

“Y/N, seriously, listen to me…You’re not going to die…ok? Not before I…” he let out a shaky breath. “-take you out on a date and…and do all the things I wanna do with you…together,” he finally confessed and you cracked your eyes open halfway, looking at him with shock.

“You want to take me on a date?”  

“Yeah…very much…and I know how that sounds and I-I know what you’re thinking right now and I know what you’re gonna say. I know it’s probably super awkward and outright ridiculous and it’ll probably ruin-“

“Steve, I love you,” you breathed out and his soft, panicked rambling ceased.

“What?”

“I love you…I’ve loved you for…a long time,” you revealed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked gently.

“Cause I never thought someone like you would fall for someone like me…and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“It’s exactly because it’s ‘someone like you’,” he then found the courage to place his hand on the side of your face and stroke your cheek, giving you a smile. You closed your eyes as you let yourself sink into the feeling and in the meantime, Steve’s smile faltered as he motioned for Dustin to come over.

The boy approached with a confused face and just before he was about to speak up, Steve signaled for him to call the hospital, lips forming the words silently. Dustin’s eyes widened when he saw how still you were and he immediately dashed to find a way to contact the hospital and let them know an emergency patient was coming in.

“What are…the things you want to do with me?” you asked timidly and his lip twitched.  

“Like…being able to push your hair behind your ear,” he began, “…dance with you slowly…hold hands…kiss you,” he whispered the last words as his smile melted once again and you opened your eyes only to see the worry in his as if he was afraid he had overstepped a boundary which was ridiculous considering you had just confessed.

“Why wait?” you asked breathlessly and his eyes widened.

You lifted your hand and beckoned him to get closer. He lowered himself slowly until your noses were touching. The two of you looked into each other’s eyes for a bit before you placed a gentle touch on his cheek and closed your eyes, prompting him to do the same. And then his lips brushed yours as if asking for permission one last time. You arched your chin higher which connected your lips more properly and he finally pressed his against yours in a sweet kiss.

Suddenly, the sound of a revving engine penetrated the silence, and everyone tensed.

“It’s my brother,” informed Max after she had run to the window to check. “He-he can’t know I’m here! He’ll kill me. He’ll kill us!”

“Hold on. Leave it to me,” said Steve confidently as he stood up and sprinted out of the house.

You called the kids to your side and they hesitantly left the window to come sit by you.

“We’ll just tell him that…you are helping me…ok? In fact…maybe I can convince him to stay with me while you go complete that plan of yours,” you suggested and their eyes widened.

“You want us to go through with it?” asked Mike in shock and you nodded.

“Mhm…it’s a good plan.”

Just then, the door was pretty much thrown off its hinges as Billy stormed in. His enraged expression quickly melted into one of shock and confusion when he saw you and the kids.

“Jesus, Hargrove. You wanna tear down my house or somethin’,” you drawled and he looked at the door, then back at you.

“The fuck is going on here?” he grit out.

“You want the long story or the short?” you lifted an eyebrow and his eyes darted between you and Max.

“Short.”

“I got attacked on my way home. The kids found me. They’ve been taking care of me since. Don’t blame Max for it,” you explained or rather lied, and his eyebrows shot to his hairline in surprise.

“And where are your brothers? Your mother?” he asked as he took a step forward, making Max and the others tense and fidget but you tried your best to keep your calm.

“They left for Indianapolis earlier today. Mom wanted to get Will checked by some specialist at their hospi-“ the words got caught in your throat all of a sudden as you felt a chilling sensation run through your whole body, making you quiver as your hand flew to your stomach, then to your mouth. Billy and the kids looked at you with confusion and concern.

“W-what is it?” asked Mike with wide eyes and you gulped.

“I’m…I feel nauseous,” you muttered as you closed your eyes and tried to focus on battling down the bubbling feeling.

“W-we need to get you to-to the hospital,” panicked Dustin as he scouted the room for Steve.

Meanwhile, Max pulled down the blanket and everyone scrunched up their faces.

“It’s hemorrhage,” snapped Mike worriedly and Billy clicked his tongue as he marched to the sofa, pushing Lucas out of the way, making him fall to the ground.

“Move your asses,” he barked at the kids and they scattered away from the boy who leaned and made sure to wrap your whole body with the blanket. You hissed when he moved you around and he simply told you to bear with it before lifting you in his arms. You groaned and buried your face in his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” bit out Mike and Billy glared at him.

“What does it look like?” he responded curtly before turning and walking briskly towards the door. “I better see you home when I get back, Max,” Billy warned the girl as he looked at her over his shoulder and she nodded shakily. You sent her a firm look without Billy noticing and she understood what you meant.

On your way to Billy’s car, you saw Steve passed out outside, face beaten and bloody. Your jaw clenched at the sight and you wanted nothing more than to punch the boy carrying you in the face and give him a taste of his own medicine but you knew that if you acted or said anything rashly and insulting, he might change his mind, leave you and go take Max and most possibly hurt the kids in the process because you knew they’d try to protect her. You were better off distracting him as long as you could while they went to do their part of the plan.

“If you bleed on my seat, you’re dead meat Byers,” he grunted out as he lowered you onto the passenger seat and adjusted your position.

“I’m sorry. Next time I’ll just walk to the hospital and bleed on the road instead,” you drawled quietly and he huffed in amusement.

“You’re a different kind of stubborn, ain’t you,” he shook his head as he shut the door before circling the vehicle to get in the driver’s seat.

You were fairly surprised to see him drive slowly for the first time ever. He probably didn’t want to jerk your body and cause more harm to the wound with rash movements which was weirdly considerate of him.

“So you do have a heart,” you let out a small smile and the boy snorted.

“Believe it or not I’m not the kinda person to walk away from someone who’s dying.”

“Hmm…could’ve fooled me for a second.”

Silence engulfed the two of you for a while and he had to shift his gaze from the road to you, to make sure you haven’t actually died. But you were simply thinking about many things. For one, you never thought you’d end up in Billy’s car as he drove you to the hospital in order to save your life after severely beating the boy you loved. It was one of the weirdest things to happen to you – almost as weird as being attacked by inter-dimensional monsters two years in a row. 

 “You know…I remember the first time we met,” you finally spoke and he lifted a brow, clicking his tongue in annoyance.

“If you wanna rub in how you rejected me, I’ll just throw you outta the car right now.”

“No…it’s not that…It happened after the party,” you tried to keep your eyes open and slightly turned your head to look at him. “You won’t remember…you passed out.”

“Did I,” he drawled.

“I stayed till the end…everyone was passed out from drinking…You were…on the verge…stumbling towards the bathroom. You could barely stand,” you paused to take a breath and gather some more strength. You were starting to feel really tired and sleepy. “I don’t know what prompted me to do it…I helped you reach the bathroom…I made you throw up cuz I was scared you’d get alcohol poisonin’,” you slurred and he furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to remember that night but his memories were bleary. He did remember someone’s voice, talking to him in a painfully blinding white room. He had thought it was some kind of hallucination. He did remember waking up in a bathroom a couple of hours later so you were telling the truth. It’s not like you had a reason to lie anyway.  

“Uh, thanks for that.”

“You mumbled somethin’ in your state… somethin' bout your mom,” you revealed and his eyes widened. “It wasn’t clear but… you sounded…hurt.”

“Shut up,” he grit out as his grip on the wheel tightened.

“Look…I just wanna say…you don’t…always need to be this…tough, macho, jerk…ok? If you reach out…and if you try to be just a tad bit kinder…you might find good people reaching back…good people to surround yourself with…Every person needs that,” you breathed out as you sent him a knowing look and he stared at you for a while. Your gaze held power, wisdom, and kindness he’s never seen or experienced before. Neither had he experienced someone presenting him with such an offer. You stared at one another, almost as if you had fallen into a trance before he averted his eyes back to the road.

A minute later, which seemed way too long for the both of you, he was parking in front of the hospital and rushing out of the vehicle to call for help. A group consisting of doctors and nurses came and carefully lifted you out of the seat and set you on a gurney.

“Stay?” you whispered with pleading eyes before you were rolled away and Billy could only watch as he stood rooted on his spot. He contemplated whether to leave or not. He didn’t owe you anything and he already did enough by bringing you to the hospital. He just wanted to get somewhere far away and not think for the rest of the night. Hopefully, his date hadn’t abandoned him.

But then he thought about what you had told him on the way. He had no idea that you had witnessed him in such a vulnerable state and he wondered what were the words he had let slip back then that you would think of him as someone who was hurt. And he wondered how much did you manage to piece together from that little slip-up? He was angry and frustrated beyond belief but at the same time, his heart and gut clenched at the kind words you had offered. Nobody has been kind to him. And now he was battling heavily with himself and he had absolutely no idea how he was supposed to feel or what he was supposed to do.

But in the end, he concluded that maybe taking it all step by step was the best thing he could do for now.

So he’d start by staying.

[schizodesires]

BEFORE YOU SCROLL

24/agender/therian/schizophrenic (given the url i wanted to clarify that im not a "schizoposter" or whatever the hell zoomers say now)

if you see an mlp blog like your post/follow you, sorry thats me and thats my main lol

hieee! this blog comes from a very special strange and most likely “fucked up” place in my heart. i cannot stress enough that if i find out that you are under the age of 18 and you try to follow me ill block you on site. hopefully i wont have to do that

do NOT interact if the idea of reading text posts about delusions, sh, and general nsfl idealizations makes you want to call in a welfare check.

do not let the rambling posts fool you, im dom in writing and sub in practice. also please dont flirt with me it makes me uncomfortable!!!

hazy answers for ask box things, hazy rambles for just normal posts hazy stories for my short story stuff

topics that will be discussed here are under the cut! 

drug abuse/intox abuse in general stalking self harm suicidal idealization obsession homicidal thoughts sexual assault gore delusions sex (consensual and not!!!) incest (sibcest, maybe a mom post from time to time)

[mewmedic]

A Deal with the Devil

Someone on the Lolita fashion subreddit asked what we can do about newbies who do not know how to find clothes outside of (the well documented scam site) Devil Inspired. I wrote the following in response and thought it was worth cross posting here.

To be very blunt: most people are too illiterate to read pinned posts (even though that should just be basic reddit etiquette) and too lazy to move their eyes to the area of their screen where there is a link to a guide that answers their questions. You can't fix stupid at a certain point, once people get stuck in their ways.

Really, the only action we could do would be to change the subreddit banner image at the top to say "PLEASE DON'T BUY FROM DEVIL INSPIRED. READ A GUIDE ON HOW TO BUY FROM TAOBAO." We probably need a pinned post saying the same thing in the title, with an explanation of taobao in the body and links to some guides. That may be absurd, but I truly think its the only bullet we have left in the chamber. Even then, most people will ignore it. It really sucks that this subreddit has become the Devil Inspired Customer Service Hotline.

There are just too many people (some millennials but especially zoomers) who lack the ability to use the internet properly. With the "enshittification" of google, people now expect human beings on reddit to answer every single one of their lingering thoughts. But let's be real, the "let me google that for you" situation existed for a decade before google started to suck. Devil Inspired is the first result when googling lolita fashion because they pay to have good SEO and be at the top. Most people are not internet savvy enough to google "[store name] scam" or "[storename] alternatives" when they encounter a new store online. That's not even getting into Devil Inspired shoving sponsor bucks down influencer's throats so they can vomit advertisements back out onto their naive audience.

I understand why a normal western person would know nothing about taobao. However, anyone with intermediate internet experience should be able to tell that Devil Inspired does not manufacture the clothes they sell. No one makes that wide of a variety of styles that quickly, plus the wide variety in photography styles (and they sometimes forget to hide the original store's watermark.) Next, they should know to reverse google image search photos from Devil Inspired's catalogue. Their last resort should be to go to the "find this dress" pinned post on this subreddit. Then, if they discover there that the dress is from a taobao store they could just google "how to buy from taobao." But they don't do any of these things because the average internet user does not know they can.

Just a few days ago we had some one here ask to be spoonfed information about gothic lolita, something they could easily find themselves. When some one kindly gave them a link to the lolita wiki, the OP had the nerve to complain because they don't like Fandom wikis. I fucking hate Fandom and have a personal beef with them, but I wouldn't complain about being spoonfed information for free from there. That person will never comprehend why people created fandom wikis in the past and they definitely won't understand why it's very hard to leave Fandom wikis. I am including this recent experience to illustrate why Devil Inspired is not the only problem here, people's attitudes just plain suck some times.

TLDR: We are fighting an unwinnable battle against people's illiteracy, refusal to learn, and Devil Inspired's fat stacks of marketing cash.

[lemonhemlock]

TALK TO ME ABOUT MAKEUP PLEASE!!! What are your favorite brands? What product can you not like without? What are your everyday makeup go to's in terms of products you reach for and enjoy, which products do you hate? (Thank you for answering the perfume ask, I also love similar scents and elements!!)

OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ASK

i have been ITCHING to have some constructive conversations about makeup that are not so much about consumption as they are about techniques, artistry and just the joy of bringing different aesthetics to life. but unfortunately none of my girlfriends are into it to the level i am. i'm obsessed!!!! to anyone reading this, don't use me as a role model, but this is where i'm at LOL 😂 it truly is a hobby for me

What are your favorite brands?

in the past i wouldn't have said i had a favourite brand per se, but i've been converted to being a mac girl! as a result of them not really promoting themselves in online spaces i was not exposed to their products and they kind of flew under the radar, even though we do have mac stores here (quite a few, actually). also the price point lol so i much preferred to buy drugstore when i was younger. but, at this point, i have so much stuff already that i am planning to not buy as much in the future and just purchase one or two mac products every couple of months, because they have so many things!

for example, i love love love how all the mac girls combine their lipsticks and liners and honestly the idea of using a cool-toned lip liner or a contrasting shade for definition has been such a game changer in a world where so many makeup-wearers have taken to maintaining this uniform, dull look (sorry zoomers but clean girl makeup is just not that girl she will never be that girl!!). i also love the limited edition lipsticks they brought back for the 40-year anniversary and literally scoured every website & phoned every mac store in town to get my hands on bubbles, haku and fleshpot ☠️they are such unusual shades, like, first of all, i have to say that i love how the really nude fleshpot looks against a dark liner. it's soooo ~alternative and a fun way to reference the 90s. bubbles & haku are so colour-shifting in the light as well, i just keep staring at them sometimes :)) they are definitely not the type of colours i would usually wear and i'm not the biggest fan of frosts either. but you know what? looking back, this y2k trend did, in fact, slay

i also managed to snag the stone lip liner, which is always out of stock, as you know. they are releasing new ones at the end of the month and i have my eyes on 'greige' as an additional cool-toned liner (these are SO hard to find). to top off my collection, i managed to find the makeup forever liners in endless cacao and even whatever black (and, of course) our dependable drugstore girlfriend rimmel cappuccino.

but, to come back to the question of brands, i've always felt that maybelline are such an accessible source of good quality lipsticks on the cheaper side. their lip crayons are legit one of my favourites of all time. so lightweight on the lips and so easy to apply. the shade 'lead the way' is the best possible charlotte tillbury pillow talk dupe. the superstay vinyl ink liquid lipsticks are also quite good. the superstay MATTE inks will /not/ budge and probably survive the apocalypse if that's your thing. they have a wide selection of everything you might want, but i feel like the lips is where they are truly excellent

other brands from which i've purchased a lot are essence/catrice. similarly, they have a wide range of products of decent quality that you buy at a lower price point. i don't know about their foundations or powders, but i've bought lip liners, lipsticks, nail polishes, highlighters, blushes and they've all been more than fine

i should mention nyx here as well, as they often have cool stuff that goes viral. VERY good source of lip liners. the fixing spray is also very good. would not buy eyeshadow from them though. i did once and it was very patchy and all the purples looked gray and you couldn't really tell the colours apart. as far as eye palettes are concerned, my collection is mainly from urban decay and colourpop

What product can you not live without?

oooooooffff many! 😂 but, if i was in an absolute hurry, i suppose i would have to say concealer. i have dark circles and if, i just had to put one thing on my face, i would have to be practical and choose that instead of something more unhinged. :)) i'm currently using a cream concealer and realised, at my big age, that, if you apply it with a special concealer brush, you can use way less product and get better coverage 🤦 this technique is also a lot more effective at covering any pimples. before this i was using the same sponge i use for foundation application and was always left wanting. ☠️

What are your everyday makeup go to's in terms of products you reach for and enjoy,

for someone who has a lot of stuff (mainly lipsticks, liners and eyeshadows, to be honest), i have a lot of staple products as well that i don't really mess with and keep repurchasing. it's simplified my life a lot because i don't have the energy to keep trying makeup in every single category :))

the COTY airspun loose face powder - there is a lot of product in one unit (35g) and, since i have oily skin, i go through a lot, but one box of this lasts me a few months, which is amazing. before this i was using the fenty loose powder, but it's a lot more expensive and has less product

the MAC extra dimension blush, shade 'into the pink'. i've had this for two years, used it constantly and just managed to hit a little bit of pan. it's life-changing. finally, i had found a cool-toned blush. perfect for everyday and you do not have to think too much when applying because the colour doesn't build up like crazy to make you look like you've been stung by a bee

the essence liquid ink eyeliner. this thing is so cheap, lasts forever and does not smudge. idek how many of them i've used up over the years

the essence lash princess in green. i'm so pretentious about mascara and could never find one that didn't clump. this one is the best i've tried so far.

the rimmel brow this way crayon in the shade 'blonde'. like with mascara, i NEVER liked my eyebrow pencils, the shades were always off somehow, darker than i needed. this is legit the only one that is the exact colour of my brows and fits seamlessly. i go through these constantly. recently, out of curiosity, i've purchased a similar-looking tube, the alverde brow stick in the shade 04 macchiato (for my DM girlies!) and it seems to be doing the same job. relieved to know i have a backup if rimmel ever discontinue theirs!

the urban decay matte fixing spray. this is a holy grail for a reason. it's getting increasingly more difficult to find in my country though. also, i will have to put this under the microscope bc lately it felt a bit powdery on my skin so it's either i didn't shake it enough, they changed the formula or my combination-oily ass face is acting up again

i use these every time i put makeup on, except the mac blush and the urban decay fixing spray, but even so, i use those two very often. they've become regulars in my routine, but they're not the most exciting products (except the mac blush. that is such a pretty shade). but, for fun, i'm very much a glitter and highlighter person 😂 i recently, finally, bought some of the kaleidos highlighters and they truly are incredible in the way they catch the light and how the colours shift when you move. so those are what i'd label the products i look forward to the most atm, along with haku, bubbles, fleshpot and stone

which products do you hate?

so, no matter how much i try, i just cannot get along with lipgloss. unless i'm going to bed! then when i wake up it has done its magic and my lips are a little less dry and chapped 😂 but as a daytime product, it just gets everywhere, it's very sticky and smudgy and i don't like having to constantly check my lips in the mirror to fix it. just a major hassle overall. likewise with lipsticks that are too glossy and never stay in one place. lip oils? why.

i've also had the misfortune to purchase some foundations i really fucking hate and i have been painstakingly trying to finish them (i have a high chance of finishing two of them this autumn), as i don't really like to waste product. the MUP liquid waterproof foundation is way too thick and cakey and the shiseido revitalessence skin glow is way too liquid and patchy. formulation-wise, these products are the exact opposite but both of them turn me into an oil bath lol

i also don't like cream blushes, highlighters or bronzers. i have oily skin and have to set with powder, so it would be an extra hassle for me to make sure these products can still be seen after i apply the powder. i saw that some people set them with the powder versions of the same product, but that just sounds like extra steps to me and just an excuse to hoard even more products and complicate the routine even more

speaking of blushes and bronzers, cool-toned makeup is just so hard to find in general, everything is orange and peach these days. i have been really contemplating some products i've accumulated mindlessly over the years and i'm going to have to declutter a lot of my blushes and bronzers because they just make me look crazy. they are either way too orange or dark or hyper pigmented. i am very pale and do not tan so i really much prefer either just straight up taupe or pinkish blushes. here i really have to recommend c-, j- or k-beauty because there you can find these tones exactly and i can finally wear some flattering shades 😂

and, i have to say, erin parsons and not_another_hanna on TT, who like wearing cool-toned makeup on the regular, are absolute queens and have such a distinctive, stand-out style. you can tell they don't really care about looking conventional and really appreciate the artistry of playing with colours and formulas in interesting ways

i'm including this handy collage to illustrate the kind of looks i'm into atm ✨

(Thank you for answering the perfume ask, I also love similar scents and elements!!)

i'm glad to hear it!! birds of a feather, no? 🫶

[northwest-cryptid]

The future is now, and a lot of people really don't like it.

It's something I've noticed, I was born just before the turn of the century, and I grew up with a lot of talk about what the future would be like. Computers, the internet, technology itself was still fairly new at least to the everyday consumer. Sure my father had been programming for years, but cell phones were still bricks we had to carry around in our pocket. This isn't a put down, so please don't think I'm using Zoomer as a derogatory term or anything but; Zoomers may not really grasp the fact that our first cell phones were these really chunky bricks that had 2 toned small screens that literally could just make calls or play snake. Texting was a pain, you had to literally hit the same key multiple times to cycle through letters and then wait for it to move to the next slot if you needed a letter on the same key.

And yet, almost everyone around me, and everyone I spoke to online was excited about technology; about the future. Integration of tech into the daily lives of those around you was the coolest stuff you could see, we had classes in school that taught us not just how to type and use the computer, but also things like internet safety and even really basic stuff about how to program. We're talking about elementary school by the way, I was playing computer games in the lab and learning how to type properly, how to stay safe online; and in some cases even how to make games. It was uncommon for anyone even in middle school to own a cell phone, and if they did it was a Nokia. You had people who would swear by Apple products because "they made the iPod!" Which yea, you read that correctly; not the iPhone; the iPod. The iPhone was still just this sort of concept back in the day. The idea of a future where our phones could do more than play snake, send texts, and call people.

You had a lot of people online who made their own websites and were lamenting how easy the internet was becoming for "just any schmuck on the street" to use. It used to be a utopia for only the biggest nerds with their text based computer games and personal websites. However it was quickly becoming more and more accessible to the every-man and people were divided on whether or not that was a good thing. Some didn't care for the direction the internet was going, and others enjoyed the attention the internet and technology by proxy was finally getting.

With more people being able to use technology effectively, the demand for better and better tech was growing. At the time, the capitalistic nature of the industry was fine, it prompted companies to compete for the biggest and the best new stuff to show off. If you were going to spend your money on something; it really had to be quality made. This isn't just about cell phones and computers either, if you look back at how much advancement was made in game consoles back during the time of the Gamecube or Dreamcast eras, you'll see that no one in the console industry could stand by and make sales by just being a brand name. Everything from computer parts to gaming consoles to even software was becoming better, whether that meant faster; higher definition, or even just sometimes having bigger numbers. I mean hell the Nintendo 64 literally put the number in the name to tell you how big of a deal it was.

This was the golden age for technology, and I am genuinely sad that a lot of Zoomers never got to really experience it. We shit-talk Zoomers for growing up without tech literacy, or being iPad babies, but the truth is; they're not taught like we were. Most of the older Millennials, or gen Xers had a lot more understanding of tech because we either were literally raised on it, or we were making it. Zoomers never got to experience what it was like to know the what and why of new tech coming out. The market has become so taken over by capitalistic greed that no one is really happy about it.

We wanted a world where tech made people's lives easier, integration of tech into your daily life was meant to simplify things. Not to advertise 20 different products to you before you can request an uber to come pick you up just so it can ask you if you want to upgrade, only for your uber driver to be so distracted by their phone and the reek of marijuana that they can't drive safely. Which mind you, isn't to say phones or weed are necessarily bad, but hey don't drive under the influence you piece of shit, especially not with passengers; you make the rest of us look bad! Now I gotta go online and complain about this on social media, of course I'm talking about like, maybe one of five social media sites people actually use. Yes it's highly censored and what isn't censored by the people running the site is likely to be caught in the net of the social culture around the website, so of course I have to watch what I say and over explain myself. Then I think I'll reblog that post about how we're all explaining ourselves too much and being too nice and we're too afraid to speak our minds and we really need to stop doing that. Then I'll answer the anon hate I got for speaking my mind and trying to not over explain myself because the social culture net is so broad it encompasses significantly too many different kinds of people who won't see eye to eye...

My point with that whole paragraph is to say that even someone like me, who adores technology and wants it to progress and wants it to integrate more into my life; still doesn't agree with what has become of it. I think the worst part about it is that some of it is inescapable while other parts can be fixed but every time I say that I get yelled at for it. It's like people would rather believe they're trapped here than understand they still have a lot of power over the use of their technology. It's easier to accept the world around you when you don't feel like you could do anything, when you understand that you could do something rather than merely complain it creates a dilemma. Suddenly you know for a fact you could fix your problem, but that requires a certain amount of effort on your part. I've heard people tell me they can't learn to code in HTML for reasons branching from trauma to disabilities. Which is baffling because if you can literally make a text post on tumblr, or send me anon hate to yell at me about how you can't possibly learn HTML; you could easily type out HTML or copy paste it.

However I'm not here to point fingers, I'm here to say I've noticed that the places we can't escape from are getting more and more aggressive, and no one feels like we can do anything. It's rough, because I know if we did try to do something it would be a hell of a lot more effort than just getting people to figure out they could make their own websites if they don't like the ones they are on.

The majority of public transport, businesses, and restaurants have apps that require you to have a smart phone. I sit down and ask for a menu, I'm told there's a QR code on the table I can scan. I once told a waitress my phone couldn't scan QR codes and she made a big fuss about how they don't have physical menus anymore and she wasn't about to tell me what all they had as options. It was my fault for being too poor to afford a good enough phone. Something that was once considered a luxury is now a necessity to eat at an establishment. If you're curious, it was a waffle house. A fucking Waffle House decided to do away with their menus and opted for QR codes. Thankfully I've not seen this catching on with other Waffle Houses, but consider the target audience of a Waffle House. This isn't some fancy classy restaurant, this is a 24/7 diner where you stop in at 3 AM to eat some poorly cooked hash-browns and eggs that were made by a poor college student who isn't paid enough; and hope no one starts a fight because the only other two people in this place are drunk off their ass and getting a little loud with the waiter. When I asked the waitress for literally just hash-browns, a couple of eggs, and bacon; a typical breakfast you could get just about anywhere that serves, you know; breakfast. I was told that's not a menu item and that I'd need to order off the menu if I wanted to actually buy anything. We went back and forth for about 5 minutes and I was doing my best to be polite about the situation because I've worked food service before and I understand too well what it's like to just want a quiet, simple shift. Finally the manager came out, charged me about $7 and made me some food. When they told the waitress to leave me be I heard her remark "alright but they were being rude as fuck" as she walked off. Mind you the only thing I asked for was a menu, then some food; and then asked what the menu item most resembling my order would have been and to just charge me for that. As the waitress stood off in the corner of the Waffle House she literally pulled out her smart phone. Not once did she offer to just scan the QR code for me and help find an order closest to my request, or any such thing. The situation was simple in her mind, I didn't have access to their QR code menu, so I couldn't order anything; end of story.

For many if you take public transport and you need an app for it, your phone needs to be able to run that app. If it can't you're out of luck, it doesn't matter if you have the money for the bus, it doesn't matter if you could pay a taxi. You need to have the app on your phone to travel, you need to scan a QR code to eat, some apps will literally ask for your ID or driver's license, so that's fun. I've literally had apps ask me for my social security information. Yea, remember kids don't give out your personal information to anyone online... unless it's this fun app you use, because remember the guys at [business] are your friends! I know you may believe that they're a business and therefore they have to use your data responsibly, but the truth is that's just not how it works. The people working at Google, at Tumblr, at Uber, they're all just people; people like you and me. Except they have access to your cloud storage, they have access to everything you've ever posted, they have access to your location, they have access to any pictures you've taken that get automatically backed up to your phone with metadata that lists the exact place it was taken; yes that includes your nudes. "For your eyes only... and like all the google employees who see this, and that one creepy guy who screenshot it and shares it with his friends uwu"

Not to be a boomer, but back in my day we were literally taught internet safety in school; and a lot of people cared deeply about this sort of thing. They weren't so apathetic to it all just to get through the day, I hear people say "oh I don't care, I know they're watching, listening; they know everything about me, targeted ads are real; etc." Hell I've been there myself, it's hard to care about it all because it feels like it's everywhere. I understand you may not want to really concern yourself with it, but when you're aware of it you can actually take measures to prevent it where you can. That's literally WHY we were taught this shit in school.

Truth is, I still have those hopes of a future where tech is part of the daily life of those who want it. I love the idea of convenient apps and fun websites. I love the idea of tech advancing and everyone finding new ways to enjoy life. Things like Vtubers, VR/AR tech, video games, and yes even the good things about shit like cell phones, and smart devices. That's all great, but I want it without all the bullshit. I hate using AR tech and going "hi random Meta employee who's likely viewing my data, location, and possibly has random access to my cameras and what I'm running on my own personal tech!" People call me paranoid, they bitch at me for being cynical; and I can't blame them. I really can't, because I know I'd enjoy life a lot more if I didn't think like this, if I didn't know what I know. It's that age old saying that ignorance is bliss.

However, when I see things like the Old Web Movement, and I understand people are trying; they're fighting the good fight and I'm just sitting there? I can't do that. I have to do my part, I have to try as well; or else I have no right to complain, to want for better tech; safer tech, more private tech. I can't scream about something as simple as discord suddenly telling me about everything my friends are playing, or what they're watching in a server I'm not even a part of; unless I'm actively actually doing my part to spread awareness and fight against the violations of privacy that so many tech applications are imposing upon people. I have to speak up even if people hate me for it.

If I was alone on that front, I'd probably let it die; I'd just be some hermit living my own way and not even care. However when I see people trying to fight for others to make their own websites, to give that power back to the public. When I see people trying to teach others how to jailbreak their tech, how to fight back against the automation of data mining and AI stealing your every word to teach some multi-billion dollar waste of electricity. I have to do my part, because I was born just before the turn of the century; and while I'm sure people would tell me it's not that deep. I still dream of the future that was promised to me when I was young, and if I can't have it in my life time, I'll fight for Zoomers; and if they can't have it in theirs, I want them to be armed with the knowledge necessary to help the next generation.

[ghost-mafia]

Hi.

I am à late 30s queer schizophrenic spoonie sw/tattooer, lately afflicted with chronic homelessness... and i absolutely c a n NOT lose the remaining belongings of mine that i have in that storage unit.. all of my deceased family member's urns are in that storage unit, all but ONE of my instruments are in my storage unit. My entire collection of thousands of tattoo stencils, documenting nearly every single tattoo that I have made in the last 15 years.. these are the few treasures I still have left ..

I have only NOT BEEN HOMELESS for LITERALLY TWO weeks and Ive Already lost literally almost everything I owned ONCE ALREADY*

*(in Jan of 22 my ex wife and I were moving back to Oly from LA when our completely packed uhaul truck was stolen, containing our entire combined life's work and worth of treasured art books, inherited musical instruments, irreplaceable family herirlooms and precious sentimental keepsakes) ..

MY boyfriend and I have both been thru absolutely devastating, FUCKIN SOUL CRUSHING traumatic experiences these last three years... We've survived losing beloved family members, pets, deaths of our parents and murder of my very best friend. we survived both of us getting pneumonia and blood poisoning AT THE SAME TIME .

YALL

SHIT HAS BEEN .. SO FUCKING HARD and idk how but I'm still here.

Please help me, tumblr. Draw me close to your understanding millennial/zoomer bosom and let me rest IF ONLY For a moment, knowing the meager accumulates matwrial sum of my rotten life still belongs to me. Please

I know it's .. not a massive fortune, the 232 or whatever I owe for my storage, but if you can spare even a BIT to help me.. I can't.. I just.

I have pixx and content you can buy, I can also offer excellent machine-free tattoo work to anyone local to the greater Seattle metro area. I can also read your tarot cards or draw your natal astrological chart... I am desperate and willing to exchange labor if various and sundry varieties..

Help me, almighty internet, help me

VENMO @ghost-mafia

PAYPAL @HANNAHSATAN or beatricebelialbiggart@gmail.com

MY BOYFRIEND CASH APP $chetstarr360

[henrysglock]

trying to gather up all my "what if henry and el had escaped HNL in 1979 rather than having the massacre" thoughts in one place:

El has never been outside the lab, and Henry seems to have been kept in the basement areas most of his life. Henry himself says "I'm going to find us a way out". The man was flying by the seat of his pants at that point. I'd give so much to see them finding their way out, really bring the "I became an explorer" line into play. Let Henry do a little psychic-skipping from person to person, a little of the psionic searching that we see him do briefly as a kid...almost like looking at security tapes to figure out where one is in relation to the exit. Staring directly at FNAF.

Henry seeing the open sky for the first time in 20 years. El seeing it for the first time in her life. She's never seen the sun in practice, only in theory.

Also, imagine being someone who works in the upstairs/DOE lab or who was visiting the lab for some reason?? Like...you're out on a smoke break, and you just see this bewildered-looking orderly with blood running down his neck burst out the back doors, an itty-bitty girl in a hospital gown peeking out from behind him. She barely comes up to his hip, and he looks unhinged enough to actually bite you if you tried to take her away. They regard you like spooked deer. You turn away, because here's something about the look on both their faces that make you feel like you ought to insist that you never saw them at all. You realize once they're gone that one of them stole your car keys, and you aren't sure which one it was.

Henry "had one driving lesson from Victor when he was 12 and nearly gave him a heart attack" Creel having a "zoomer of the party" moment taking out the lab gate with the car he stole from the above guy. Tod-father moment. Please and thank you. El's in the passenger seat, distracted by the outdoors.

The escape attempt happened on September 8th, and from Brenner's flashback it looks like it was really nice out. That is to say...much nicer than the basement interior. El, born into the artificial cold of the upper lab and kept in the artificial cold of the basement, being out in sunny, breezy 75ºF weather for the first time. Henry, essentially in the same situation, being ambiently warm for the first time since 1958 (he never made it past March, 1959, and March is cold).

Henry "vaguely remembers where the old house was" Creel trying to figure out the streets of Hawkins, which has expanded since the last time he was in it. He ditched the car by Lake Jordan, too conspicuous with its crunched-in front.

El's only 8, and it's been such a long day. The sun is setting, and she's tired. Henry in his undershirt/white t-shirt, El wrapped up in his button-down. She's conked out, fast asleep on his shoulder by the time they make it to the old Creel house. It's filthy, a complete disaster, but no one has lived there in 20 years. If the lights stay off and the front door stays boarded, who's going to check inside?

Also re: the Creel house...almost all the rooms have fireplaces. The midwest gets cold at night in the fall. I offer: Henry and El by a fireplace in a room on the upper floor/back side of the house with the vibes of a) Victor reading by the fire, and b) Holly asleep on Ted's lap. Thank you very much.

Henry "didn't get the chance to get his high school diploma" Creel returning to humanity's hunter-gatherer roots...and by that I mean using his powers to steal food/clothes/etc. Who's going to stop him, if the check-out guy never saw him at all? And either way, who makes people pay so much for basic necessities anyway? Henry "where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket" Creel in his be gay, do crime era. Henry "abuse the system right back" Creel serving pure ST1 El and the Eggos. Y'know...restoring balance to a broken ecosystem? A shoplifter, but for good.

Everything was left in the Creel house after the massacre. I propose: Henry in Victor's old clothes. Henry in cardigans please and thank you. He's just some guy. Also...El in Alice's old clothes. She shows up in that little yellow dress and Henry's like "Oh. This hurts more than I thought it was going to". Alongside that...El in Henry's old clothes. El in one of those snazzy little patterned button down t-shirts...please...(El being mistaken for a boy/being the spitting image of young Henry when she's wearing his old clothes...gough...)

El being enrolled in 5th grade and meeting the Party then. She's a staple in their group early on, but she and Mike never go through the weird superhero idolization stuff we see in ST canon. They're 10, she's just some weird girl to him. They're all fast friends, but it was Will who wanted to befriend her first. (The admin lady saw the proof of residence for El's enrollment and was like hm. Someone finally bought the old--Wait. That can't be right...Well. I don't get paid enough for this, actually.)

El telling Henry about the Party and their DnD obsession and Henry having to try to explain to her what an elf is based on 20 year old memories of reading The Hobbit with Victor (thus revealing himself as, indeed, a nerd).

Henry being very reluctant to participate in anything social…right up until he runs out of ways to entertain himself around the house. Henry realizing this is his chance to get back at all the kids who ostracized him in school by (figuratively) wiping the floor with them at PTA meetings. Henry “canonically has a Thing about getting even with people” Creel, who doesn’t know how to cook or bake, learning to do so specifically so he can put the PTA moms out of business. Turns out, vengeance is both very entertaining and very good bonding time. Henry "can't remember why raw cookie dough shouldn't be eaten" Creel and Eleanor "has never had cookie dough" Creel. The struggle is real.

Coincidentally that ^ happens to be how he reunites with Scott. Henry "disappeared for 20+ years only to come back with no explanations, a little girl who looks eerily similar to him, and a die-hard bloodthirsty vengeance against a handful of specific PTA parents" Creel is so real to me. Scott "it was totally political" Clarke is Extremely Here For It.

I have more but this is it for now, it's been sitting in my drafts for long enough!!

[skopostheorie]

Today on the flight I said I couldn't afford a tea so no thank you and the flight attendant said "no, please, it's complimentary. Because it's so cool zoomers like Astérix too" (I was reading Astérix) and someone behind me says "he's right! Let me buy you a tea too!" And it was Macron. And everyone clapped and Dan and Phil were there holding the gay flag

[toaarcan]

I don't think I've ever met a group of people who I nominally agree with but also don't want to be associated with at all moreso than the "Fiction isn't reality sweaties" people.

Because they're generally, for the most part, right about things. But good god they're so fucking smug about it. The level of condescension is outright unpleasant to be around or read about or whatever.

People on this website will post about how kindness is smart and being asshole is bad and then turn around call everyone that doesn't agree with their opinions on cartoons a stupid toddler.

And it's not even like they're largely wrong about a lot of the things they talk about. I can't sit here and say "Well y'all are talking bollocks, I'm gonna block/unfollow/just ignore you now," because generally I think they're right about a lot of the things they're talking about. They catastrophise way too hard, teenagers on the Internet not liking your ship isn't a harbinger of the rise of fascism, guys, it's just kind of annoying. People have been bad at media literacy for as long as there's been media to literacy, it hasn't ended civilisation yet, I think we'll be fine if some of the zoomers get a bit puritan for a bit.

Inb4 historians discover that the Sea Peoples were actually militant antis who destroyed Bronze Age civilisation on account of all the incest in their mythologi- For legal purposes this is a joke.

I'm not trying to tone police here, I'm mostly just venting into the uncaring void, but good god would I be marginally happier if I could be safe in the assumption that I never have to see this fucking image again:

I wasn't kidding earlier when I said that they treat people that don't agree with them like stupid toddlers. That was a direct fucking example.

For an image that so often gets used on posts about the importance of fiction not being pure black-and-white morality, the people using it sure are just boiling everything down to "The wonderful genius angels who agree with me about things vs. the stupid childish poo people who don't agree with me and smell bad."

It is, in full honesty, the fastest trigger for the "Well I was agreeing with what you were saying and I was going to reblog it, but now you've said/posted that so I'm going to keep scrolling instead" factor I've had in a long while. From "Yeah I'm with you" to "Please shut the fuck up and stop being a condescending prick" in less than a second, it's impressive.

And like I said before, it's not like I don't think these people have a point. They do! Often it's a very good one! But I'd rather have to deal with a dozen annoying people getting on my case which fictional characters I think should kiss than a bunch of people being smug about how much smarter they think they are than said annoying people. At least with the annoying people I could just block them and not lose out on anything.

[darthkieduss]

A Request of Generation Z from a Millennial Activist.

(If you know Lance Henriksen, please read this in his voice in your head. Best voice actor I’ve ever heard.)

This July 5, 2023, I will leave my twenties and enter my “Dirty Thirties” as my wife calls it.

As time goes on and I grow older, I have a message for the Generation Z. But not just a message, I will also have a request for them. For any “Zoomer” reading this, before I go on, please know this isn’t condescending or looking down on you. This is from one older comrade to the younger comrades. And I personally couldn’t be more proud of your generation TBH.

As 80s millennials enter their 40s and us 90s millennials enter our 30s, just know that unlike the generations that came before, most of us will NEVER forget who we are. We will always remember what it was like to be young. To be thrust into a world that was rigged against us. To crush on a girl in class that you had NO chance with. The senior home coming dance. Getting your driver’s license. Getting your first job. you know. But We also remember telling our parents thing they DIDN’T want to hear. Like coming out as gay or trans. Or not Christian anymore. Or coming out as a Socialist Catholic in my case. Yeah, my parents DID NOT like that. Point is we will always be young at heart. 

We are comrades united because we are fighting for the same cause. The fight you’re fighting now is the same one we stood for when we were teens and you were kids exploring Minecraft. (am I hip yet?) I remember going to pride parades as a straight ally at 21 in the months before Oberefell v. Hodges legalized same sex marriage in 2015. Though I couldn’t vote in 2008 (I was 15), we millennials made the huge turnout to elect the first black man into the White House. I remember getting tear gassed as an “old” 26 year old during the BLM protests.

Let me say as a millennial I am so proud of your generation, Zoomers. You’ve stepped to the mantle when called. In some cases, you’ve outshined us. That’s why I’m asking you, not to revere us millennials, but simply to remember us. Not because we were in the fight first, but because we’ve been in this fight so long and we’re just getting fucking started lol. Remember that unlike us when we were younger, you are not alone. We millennials were alone because we were the first to recognize the rot in the system made by the previous generations, especially the Boomers. But now y’all are coming of age and taking up the fight for our futures. You swell our ranks and I can’t thank you enough. One day as time goes on, we will take this country back. TOGETHER.

We stand with you.

The war against the system is not yet over. It’s only just begun. So as President Kennedy said in his inaugural address, “Let Us Begin.” But we’ve made some victories from 2008 to last years 22 midterms.

In 2020, Millennials and Gen Z united to kick Donald Trump out of the White House.

In 2019, millennials entered Congress for the first time. We Georgians elected the First Millennial to the United States Senate (Jon Ossoff) in 2020-21. And now Maxwell Frost has the honor of the being the first Gen Z in Congress in 2022.

We’ve suffered many losses, but we won the last two elections. These victories belong to each of us. Every man, women and child. Every person in every state.

Now as we take our first steps toward restoring what we lost, we must remember what it took to win. These weren’t victories by a single party, a single voting bloc or a even by a single generation. If this war has taught us anything, it is that we are at our strongest when we work together. And if we could put down our grievances to defeat something as evil as Donald Trump, imagine what we can achieve now that he is defeated. It will take time, but we can rebuild everything that was destroyed. Our homes. Our lives. Our economy and country. All of this and more.

Together we can build a future greater than any one of us could imagine. A future paid for by the sacrifices of those who fought, bled and even died alongside us. A future that many will never see.

And while we still have many challenges ahead of us, We can face them Together. And we will honor those who fell to give us that future.

That’s why I’m asking Gen Z as you come of age and take power, remember us. For we were your age once and one day you will were we are now. And one day, the Generation Alpha that my four nephews belong to will succeed you. For inspiration, look to yourself and your millennial brothers and sisters beside you.

We stand with you so stand with us.

Sincerely, a 1993 Millennial.

PS: please stop eating tide pods. at least cinnamon is meant to be eaten. JFC

[lizard-spams-your-dash-too]

I posted 26,227 times in 2022

That's 21,823 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (0%)

26,170 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@guardiansofgahooleonwii

@dingdongyouarewrong

@toothlesshat

@the-polyhedron

@huffy-1337

I tagged 4,301 of my posts in 2022

#sth - 1,841 posts

#sonic the hedgehog - 875 posts

#shadow the hedgehog - 840 posts

#wwdits - 333 posts

#mcr - 293 posts

#death note - 178 posts

#what we do in the shadows - 177 posts

#miles tails prower - 173 posts

#our flag means death - 172 posts

#rouge the bat - 148 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#dont think this is a real concern with zoomers since i too made mud pies and only really used the computer when i was already in preschool

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

imsonormalabouthisimsonormalaboutthisimsonormalaboutthisimsoniornal-

24 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

#4

This is a PSA:

Please continue to wear a mask people, COVID is still a real thing!

24 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

#3

I'm not really part of the death note fandom anymore but Ive noticed an interesting bit of fanon.

A lot of fans draw/describe Light with tanned skin, when in the anime and manga he's fairly light-skinned. The only canon source I can think of where he has a tan completion is the official illustrations by Obata. (Comparison below)

Anyway I don't really have a point here but I would like to say, keeping drawing him with tan skin. It's an improvement from the show in my opinion.

It differentiates him further from L, making his pale skin look even more stark. It also makes it harder to confuse him for a white dude, which is good since Death Notes story is so rooted in Japanese society and its Justice system. Also generally tired of people making jokes that Light is a white man.

Edit: changed some of my wording and added the last sentence

25 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#2

Hey death note fandom, I'm trying to find a fic I read about a year ago.

It was a story on fanfiction.net and it was set in alternative timeline of death note.

Basically it starts of with Sorchiro Yagami's funeral, which L attends. Sorchiro was killed in a car accident, but L is fairly sure it was kira's doing. Sorchiro and him were the only ones looking into the kira case at the time, with Sorchiro losing respect at NPA. They haven't found any new leads on the case.

L's approached by a college age Light yagami who wants to help continue to search for kira. L agrees to work with light, even if he's not exactly trusting of him, as he needs extra help. They both get an apartment by the TO-HO campus to investigate kira.

The fic was abandoned, and was made sometime in the early 2010s late 2000s. It was also a Lawlight fic, with some fake dating in its later chapters.

If anyone can link it or remember the title of the fic I'd be extremely grateful, it's one of my favorite Death note fics and I want to archive it.

50 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Don't get me wrong I love Taika Watiti's work as much as the next gay atm but the amount of like parasocial worship of him I've seen recently makes me nervous.

I think it's important to remember we all know a very small sliver of him as a person.

At the end of the day he's just a guy whose making and in a lot of good things atm.

535 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

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