An idea came to my mind, what if Dib found Zim when he was still young, and started raising him from the age of 12, and then they would be like a friendly family?
This interaction has been sitting in my head for a WHILE, kind of like that sandwich!!! I've been watching so much billy and mandy lately, and I think the comedic timing and style may have had an influence here lmao! I know it's ooc for zim to not be wearing those elbow length gloves (or full on germ protective gear), please pretend he is :'D
I included transcriptions of the dialogue in the image descriptions in case my writing is hard to read.
If you think about it, it actually makes sense for Zim to overestimate how much of a threat human babies are, given that Irken smeets are born as basically mini adults, with a lifetime of knowledge implanted at birth.