#zhao Yunlan the lover that you are

[acequinz]

Listen... I know shen wei pinned for 10,000 years for Yunlan so he's clearly winning the fight.

But Yunlan who has no memories yet never being able to push away his need for Shen Wei.

Like Shen wei knows and sees him through his lifetimes and yearns and yearns.

But Yunlan doesn't even know what he's yearning for, even less who. But he still yearns.

Something about how even though his godly soul is almost shattered, most if not all his powers lost and he's mostly just a human now who knows nothing of himself but his soul never forgetting Shen Wei.

Always calling out to him and not even knowing he's doing it. Going through his life unhappy, thinking he just couldn't love and accepting it until he sees him and he finally finally feels complete like he's found everything he's ever wanted.

He's dreaming of a life with shen wei, in a big house, with two pets- a cat (daqing) and a dog(they will adopt in the future) and how they would play. He's dreaming of waking up late in Shen Wei's arms and sharing the sweetest of kisses and not needing anything else.

Shen Wei is dying in the background with guilt, wanting to pull away, knowing he would hurt him by simply existing beside him.

But Yunlan is all in. He doesn't care. He just wants and needs to be with shen wei.

I just fucking can't.

[cactusspatz]

May recs

So May turned into my biennial swing through Naruto fandom (have I ever seen a single episode? nope), during which I managed to fall down the Madara/Tobirama rabbit hole - which is a very fun time if you enjoy extreme competency and enemies-to-lovers! Also I've got some Kakashi/Iruka fic, and a couple of Guardian fics for Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan. More recs at Pinboard as well!

NARUTO - FOUNDERS ERA

As Is the Sea Marvelous by blackkat

Tobirama is willing to give absolutely anything for Hashirama and his dream.

AKA the fic that started me down this rabbit hole. Blackkat is so dangerous with the gateway drug fics like that - this is a great canon AU aimed directly at my id where Tobirama surrenders to the Uchiha in hopes of stopping an escalation of the war after he wounds Izuna.

and all the fire's at your fingertips by pandaflower

Tobirama is elbow deep in a stealth mission in Wind Country when he runs into a shinobi squad toting a stolen Uchiha child. Tobirama disapproves.

Charming gen competence porn/kidfic adventure.

With Enemies Like These by sarkasticfics

After a serious and devastating attack, the Uchiha are in desperate need of a sealmaster. Unfortunately for them, the best candidate happens to be from the Senju clan. Fortunately for them, he doesn't seem all that inclined to act like an enemy. Which is lucky because, as it turns out, there are plenty of other adversaries making moves in Fire Country - both the clans will need to make new friends to survive. Madara would have been content if his new husband tolerated him and helped his clan stay safe. He doesn't quite know what to do with the fact that his husband doesn't stop there.

Jam-packed with competence and tropes, just the way I like it - and there's some incredibly lovely moments as they reconcile with their clans' bloody pasts.

Count Your Blessings by madmothmadame

The war is over. Tobirama ended it when he put his sword through Izuna's center mass. But where war had united the Senju behind their leader, peace threatened to tear them apart. And who better for the warmongers to look to as a leader than the greatest killer of Uchiha they had ever seen? There were only two problems with that plan. One, Tobirama would never, ever, betray his elder brother. Two, he may or may not have a surprisingly not dead Uchiha Izuna in a coma in his guest room, hiding the secret of resurrection that Tobirama needs with everything he is. Now if only he would wake.

Deliciously epic. The inciting incident is very hand-wavey (having been inspired by another fic), but the follow-through in worldbuilding around Konoha's founding, the metric truckload of feels, and the twisty political intrigue makes for a great read. Be warned, there's like 250K of hurt before it gets to any sort of comfort, so maybe save it for a long rainy day if you don't want to suffer (like me). Also, the ship is pretty background, so don't expect much romance - but the gen relationships are fantastic and crunchy.

NARUTO - CANON ERA

for the record by ohwickedsoul

Asuma looks from Anko, who is laser-focused in a way rarely seen outside missions, and Iruka’s bewildered face. “Holy shit,” he says. “You’ve seen Kakashi’s face.”

The ending is TRUE ROMANCE, OKAY. And hilarious!

It's Amazing Who You Stumble Into (along the road of life) by vulcanhighblood

Hatake Kakashi and Umino Iruka have been part of each other's lives for a long time. A lot longer than Iruka realizes, anyway. Kakashi recognizes this is something of a problem, but only once it's too late to do anything about it. OR How To Make Your Secret Identity Friend Your Real-Life Boyfriend: A Shinobi's Guide To How Not To Romance

In which they keep running into each other over the years, complicated by Kakashi being ANBU for the first half of it. I loved the varied assortment of meetings, and the way they kept trading off on helping each other (physically, medically, emotionally).

GUARDIAN

Breaking Point by musicalluna & nightwalker

Zhao Yunlan is having a really terrible week, and it just gets worse when he starts to think Shen Wei has gotten tired of his bullshit.

Fantastic post-canon piece where the boys really need to communicate, and the universe/work is not helping. Excellent characterization and some brutally good relationship fights - but they figure it out in the end.

However deep the Lake by elenothar

Zhao Yunlan finds out a lot earlier that the Envoy isn't as invulnerable as he seems.

Classic h/c story where they're taken captive together in Episode 4.

[baiyubai]

"Shen Wei~~" Zhao Yunlan whined, but this time, Shen Wei was unmoved and unyielding.

"You know I can't, I am not built for that sort of responsibility," he continued, hiding his face in Shen Wei's shirt. Shen Wei simply adjusted his grip on the book and rose it higher, to keep on reading.

He still refused to deign his lover's whining with any kind of answer.

He could withstand it.

Shen Wei jolted a little when Zhao Yunlan's hands started to grab at him underneath the shirt, but years of acting as Heipaoshi allowed him to keep his face straight.

He would not cave in. The matter was too great.

"Shen Wei," Zhao Yunlan whispered weakly into the fabric, his voice weak and needy.

Shen Wei turned the page with merciless precision.

"I have no idea how to fit everything into the dishwasher," Zhao Yunlan muttered.

Shen Wei read the word at the top of the page again.

Zhao Yunlan was smart, he should figure it out.

That, and it was nice to have him so close, Shen Wei supposed. (by @the-marron I'm not worthy)

[mejomonster]

Guardian really set my expectations of "censored bl cdramas" and man that was a high bar and probably not fair of me to expect.

Guardian really opens with Zhao Yunlan asking Shen Wei "are you married? You're such a catch. Can I take you out to eat? Here's my number A-Lan call me" which like even on face value id say thats called flirting (unless I guess ur so straight Straight blinders on that 2 men have to physically fuck in front of u to consider something gay)

Then of course there's shen weis pining shit but like, that's not Hammer down obvious to I guess the most oblivious person in denial

But Zhu Hong saying she likes Zhao Yunlan, Zhao Yunlan repeatedly refusing her and feeling bad about it, Zhu Hong repeatedly acknowledging he picked SHEN WEI over her (making it fairly clear it was a romantic pick and she Lost it to a guy) and shen Wei, brick that he can be at times, tells her it will only take a few years for the feelings to fade when she'll get over Zhao yunlan. The guy in love with him, instead of her. Yeah shen wei, she's definitely not wishing she could stab you for that insensitive remark. But she's too good of a person to.

Which. I'd say the above two points establish fairly overtly that: Zhao Yunlan is into men, that his colleagues assume he's also into women (if Zhu Hong thinks she has a chance), and that Shen Wei is Zhao Yunlans romantic pick. So Shen Weis sexuality? Well he doesn't dispute being Zhao Yunlans romantic pick, and Lin Jing assumes they're lovers with dialogue (yes he's saying opposite day stuff but his opposite day is just not being a liar and spy). So Shen Weis sexuality includes Zhao Yunlan.

And so like that's just. Fairly overt explicit stuff about their relationship. There's also the "a very oblivious person could argue its only implied" flirting. (And everything going on with Lao Chu and Xiao Guo, the side couple... oh my heart ;-; when they almost froze... the family dinner at Xiao guos... Lao chu admiring how kind Xiao Guo is, scaring him trying to say he's a cannibal and Xiao Guo not running away)

There's the coat sharing macho trying to be the man helping the damsel both of those fuckers do galore, shen wei moving in across the hall (which is either stalker or deeply in love or - as is true, both), shen wei implicitly moving in (this one's vague ill admit to be fair), the fucking "You're good with your hands" line from Zhao yunlan which is absolutely a porn line, every villain in the show viscerally aware Zhao Yunlan is who Shen Wei wants to protect, Ye Zun pretending to be Shen Wei by calling Zhao Yunlan cute names and asking if his outfit looks nice (and all of That), Zhao yunlans romantic ass hit me through the heart line of "if you're trouble I want a lifetime of you" at the wedding (not ever over it), the fucking lollipop scene in ye old haixing. Just a bunch of flirty type scenes, romantic tropes galore. And that's not even covering the actual genuine subtext of ALL the cases paralleling how shen wei and/or how Zhao yunlan feel implicitly (which are just subtext to be fair... how shen wei thinks he lost kunlun, how Zhao yunlan ISNT him so it hurts he's a stranger or he IS in which case he's a liar and shen weis grieving, the case where a dixingren and human love each other and Zhao yunlan notices he wants to be close to shen wei even though shen weis lying etc).

Like. They felt as canon as Tara X Willow in Buffy. Or at least as much as Xena x Gabrielle, the center relationship of the show where all stories of the episodes are always at least in some way about them.

[dual-domination]

Wu Xie couldn't just sit by while Shen Wei was upset. He stood and rounded the counter until he was standing by Shen Wei's side. “Xiao Wei?” The memory of another man calling his lover the same thing echoed in Wu Xie's mind. Did he even want Wu Xie to call him that anymore? It felt too wrong to not use the affectionate name. “It's okay if that upsets you. It doesn't have to be okay. Please just tell me honestly.” He dared to reach out and place a gentle hand on Shen Wei's forearm. “I want to talk everything through. Please. We can't do that if we're not telling the truth to each other.” If it were any other day, Shen Wei would have lost his temper again and asked if Wu Xie was even telling the truth about anything in that damned tomb raiding world. Right now, however, all of Zhao Yunlan's worry and work in calming him down had not been in vain. How ironic that he was only able to let Wu Xie get close to him because the other person he loved, the one he had promised to protect and belong to forever, had driven him to this.

Ah yeah welcome to mine and @tazzy-ace 's agenda: 2 chapters in 1 week bc I delayed posting the previous chapter kjskjsjsk

[windowsillbells]

made this poll because i think sometimes the fandom forgets zhao yunlan is as much deranged and obsessed about shen wei as shen wei is about him. the feelings are very mutual!

but this is in no way the sum of his character. he's also a very sweet and devoted lover, and there's also a LOT of characterization in the novel that goes beyond his relationship to shen wei. his insecurities, his sense of alienation, his depression and the way he overcomes it, his protective tendencies, his absolutely otherworldly instincts and cunning, his resourcefulness, his ability to empathize and forgive... i highly recommend reading the novel, it's both very fun (as you can probably see from this poll) but also so so so tragic and heart wrenching

read guardian or else! 👁️👁️🔪

[lunarriviera]

🌹

THE LAST THING ZHAO YUNLAN SEES are Shen Wei’s eyes, bright with tears.

They’re in that strange in-between space where they stand upon nothingness, surrounded by curved mirrors holding back galaxies, glittering and shuddering with color, a place where they’re set apart from their lives—their lives which are over, now, yet they’re somehow still attached to each other, after everything, as close as the lovers they never got to be.

Zhao Yunlan is struggling not to sob aloud, and from the look on his face so is Shen Wei, so instead they’re both half-laughing. Spots of pain throb high up on his chest and radiate down both arms to the palms of his hands. He can’t do anything about the way his eyes fill with tears. Around them, the light swirls in rainbow hues, but he can’t look away from Shen Wei. Shen Wei looks terrible, pale and hurting, though better than he had in Dixing, covered in scratches and smears of his own blood. Zhao Yunlan wants to cross the space to him, put his hands on him, know he’s real, know he still exists.

Space is as insignificant to them as time, now. He doesn't want to make a bet, doesn't want to wait. He only wants to touch. He takes a half-step forward, then another, and reaches out to catch Shen Wei’s hands in his own, just feels the warm skin brush against his—when suddenly, he’s not there.

Zhao Yunlan’s hands close on emptiness. He blinks—what?— and everything shifts and lurches, and he’s flung down onto the ground, hard, hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Fuck, that hurts—he lies there a moment stunned, eyes squeezed shut, until he finally catches his breath and opens them. Above him constellations wheel until he’s dizzy with vertigo; he sways onto his hands and knees, swallows against the sickness. Wills the world to stop spinning around him.

Closes his eyes deliberately, then opens them again. This time slow. Careful. On all sides of him everything resolves into soft, dark night. He’s in old Haixing, back in the mountains, but not with Shen Wei. He looks down to see the greaves covering both his arms, leather wrapped tightly, bound around his wrists, his hair hanging down, and wants to scream. He’s alone.

“Not this again,” he whispers, voice thready, and looks back up at the night sky, thick with stars.

send me 🌹 and i’ll give you a sentence from one of my wips ♥

[hils79]

Hils Watches Fairyland Lovers - Ep 4

Oh my god the cute little kid offered Bai Yu a lollipop and now I'm thinking about Zhao Yunlan and crying. DID THEY DO THIS ON PURPOSE?

And now he's giving the lollipop to Ji Xiaobing. This is fine.

CRYING AGAIN! Also, is he flirting with him?

He looks very handsome. Leave him alone. God, they're going to make him cut his hair aren't they? Let. Men. Have. Long. Hair.

This has suddenly gone a bit Carrie

Why are you handing her her bag? Can't you see she's busy ripping down posters?

Okay, I love that Bai Qi is mostly incredibly stoic and then he just calmly walks away and tries to bury alive the people who defaced Lin Xia's house and threw paint over her

He's very uptight. I think the only time I've seen him smile is when he was fighting Yang Jian. Does he relax at all?

Still confused about her age. Why is she carrying a bear around with her. But lol first he called her a hooker now she thinks he wants to pay to have sex with her

He seems to spend a lot of time in his pyjamas. This is not a complaint

Is he though?

I admire her 'the sofa is for plushies not for people' rule

I do enjoy how unsubtle Asian drama product placement is

That is an amazing suit

[lacommunarde]

For @guardianbingo April bonus prompt: ancestors (yes, I'm using Pangu as being ancestor to Kunlun here)

Summary: After Gui Mian's gone and Shen Wei's been told in no uncertain terms not to lie to Zhao Yunlan again, Shen Wei knows he should really tell Zhao Yunlan that he is getting memories that feel a lot like how he imagines reincarnation memories must feel for Zhao Yunlan, except he's pretty sure these are somehow Gui Mian's memories and memories of someone else holding heaven and earth apart and he's really not sure what that means for him.

--

The first few times Shen Wei woke up from a nightmare where the entire weight of the world was resting on his shoulders until it crushed him, he thought nothing of it. After all, he had had the weight of the world happen to him, all those years before, and then he had been the only one around to carry it. It made sense that now that he finally had someone to share the weight of the mountains and rivers with, now that he had Kunlun back to himself lying beside him in bed, only now was he releasing stress born from those years of carrying it. 

Every time, Zhao Yunlan murmured sweet nothings at him in his sleep to calm him and hugged Shen Wei even tighter, burying his face into Shen Wei’s shoulder, neck or hair in a way that did in fact bring Shen Wei peacefully back to the present and guide him back to tranquility and sleep.

But after the first few times, he began to have a more concrete idea of what went on in those dreams. 

He was holding a gigantic axe, much like the one Gui Mian had held in their several fights, and then lay it down on the earth and watched it start to grow foliage over the top before lying down by it himself. 

In another, he could feel the bright soul-fire as it landed and pulled him up out of the earth and out of his slumber, and then picking up a similar axe to the one he had put down and twirling it around and then grinning at another who looked exactly like him. 

That one he had a couple times. Going to the bathroom after it to wash his face and calm himself always provided a disturbing feeling of everything being wrong. But everything wasn’t. Everything was going so well. But then the feeling subsided and he tucked himself back in next to Zhao Yunlan, who once again nuzzled into him and called him saccharine pet-names until he slept.

It took several repetitions of that particular nightmare before he awoke with a realization that the one he was grinning at was himself, and that in that nightmare, he was none other than Gui Mian. 

The gasp he awoke with was loud enough to actually drag Zhao Yunlan to full consciousness, so that he propped himself up on his elbows and stared down at Shen Wei with a lover’s tender concern in his eyes.

“Babe, you okay?”

“Particularly vivid nightmares.”

“How long have you been having them?” Zhao Yunlan said it in a tone that said he knew Shen Wei had been having the dreams for a while, that this wasn’t the first one. Shen Wei had wondered if Zhao Yunlan remembered the ones he’d talked him down from before, but a glance at his face said that he remembered them slightly, or at least that they had happened.

“Not long. Only since…” He pressed his hand to his forehead where the little soul-fire had disappeared between his brows.

Zhao Yunlan played with his shoulders and a spot on his neck that he dearly loved when Zhao Yunlan played with. “Mmm. Could be the consequences of having hun souls now.” He leaned up and left a delicate kiss on Shen Wei’s cheek that left Shen Wei wanting to chase his lips down to get a proper taste of them again. However, now Zhao Yunlan was just out of reach, instead holding him comfortingly, and gently stroking his forehead in soothing sweeps of his fingers, so he couldn’t easily chase him. “Something we might have to get used to with all you’ve seen over the years.” 

“Are they always so vivid though?” Shen Wei murmured.

“Sometimes yeah.” Zhao Yunlan studied his face some more, and Shen Wei wondered what he was seeing. “Do you want to talk about it?”

It wasn’t something he really wanted to disturb Zhao Yunlan with, but he’d promised not to lie and Zhao Yunlan was gazing down at him with such concern in his eyes that Shen Wei wanted to indulge him. “At first, I dreamt that I was being crushed by the weight of the world. Which I felt a little of when you first left it to me, but in my dream it was so much heavier than it felt back then.”

Zhao Yunlan’s brow creased a little, and Shen Wei reached up to smooth it. Zhao Yunlan caught his hand and kissed it, giving him a small smile that smoothed his forehead by itself. “And then?”

Shen Wei sighed and then confessed in a quiet voice, “This past one, I dreamt I was Gui Mian.” He wrinkled his nose.

Zhao Yunlan got a contemplative look on his face. “Do you feel for him, now he’s gone?”

Shen Wei shook his head. “No. He considered me his brother, but I never considered him kindred with me at all. I suppose what I feel for him now is just a series of questions. I didn’t think he had it in him to do what he did, so I find myself wondering what else I didn’t know about him. Other than that, there is no missing him in my heart.”

Zhao Yunlan nodded. “It’s okay to feel weird about him, to not know if you miss him or what might have been or wonder if you knew him.”

Shen Wei shook his head. “It’s not that.”

Zhao Yunlan brushed his hair out of his eyes and peered down at him. “Do you want to describe what it is like? And we can figure out what it is that’s bugging you together?”

Shen Wei shook his head. “No, I don’t think I can exactly.”

Which wasn’t it exactly. He knew what it was that was bugging him. But he didn’t voice it because it was too silly to even give voice to. Plus, there was no way to verify what it had even looked like. But none of that changed the fact that as Gui Mian, he had felt with certainty that the axe he carried was Pangu’s, or at least looked the same as it. And now that he had felt that as his brother, he himself felt in his gut that certainty that it was the same axe too. But that weapon, surely the only one who could draw it was Pangu. Just as only Kunlun’s incarnations had been able to draw the Guardian Order. Just as he was the only one who could draw his Soul Severing Blade.

Zhao Yunlan studied him and then leaned down to kiss his forehead and his nose and his cheeks and draw little relaxing circles around his ears, by his temples, and on his scalp under his hair. Soon enough, Shen Wei was relaxed again and leaned up to kiss back until the two of them fell asleep. 

--

Zhao Yunlan ducked into the library the following day to find Sang Zan still at work, enjoying the cellar library. “Sang Zan, I need you to find all references to what exactly happened to Pangu when he died.”

Sang Zan nodded and set to work.

Zhao Yunlan had always read fast, particularly when it related to mythology, and his recent upgrade in knowledge and understanding had only helped with that. 

Still, the stack of books that Sang Zan found took him all day and until Shen Wei typically got home, and there was also the promise of even more the following day if Zhao Yunlan wanted it. However, what he found that day was all basically the same: Pangu created split heaven and earth with his axe, held apart the earth and heavens for 18,000 years fearing a return to chaos, and then figured out that they were stable, and lay down on the earth and died. Then his limbs became the four directions’ mountains. His blood became the rivers; his sweat, the rain and dew. His teeth and bones became the minerals and rocks; his flesh, the soil of the fields. His left eye became the sun; his right eye, the moon. And his axe became the five sacred mountains. 

As for Pangu himself, a hairy creature born from an egg. Zhao Yunlan found himself wondering if that egg was out of stone, like Shen Wei’s flower, (like Sun Wukong’s egg, though Zhao Yunlan would never - could never - utter that he associated the two births from stone objects with each other around Shen Wei), and if Pangu’s hair, prior to becoming what it became, had had a similar inky chaos quality to it as he knew Shen Wei’s could achieve. After all, he was literally born before chaos was separated. It would make sense if his hair had the same inky chaos quality as Shen Wei’s. 

But he knew he had to approach it carefully, lest Shen Wei run off in embarrassment and terror again.

In the first place, he saw more than he let on, including what he was fairly sure Shen Wei wanted to keep to himself. There was occasional swearing - or Shen Wei swearing, which was so prim and proper that he was certainly Guo Changcheng could and did say worse on occasion - at the mirror in the bathroom as though in surprise or shock. He wasn’t sure what Shen Wei was seeing then, as Shen Wei always came out looking like nothing had happened, but whatever it was, it was unpleasant to Shen Wei, and that wouldn’t do.

So, one night when Shen Wei had another nightmare that must have been particularly vivid, as he had to be coaxed back down with many kisses on Zhao Yunlan’s part - which Zhao Yunlan never minded, just the fact that Shen Wei seemed so scared by his nightmare - Zhao Yunlan decided to bring up his theories. 

He decided to ask - in the morning when Shen Wei’s brain wouldn’t run away with panic - if he could summon up the axe too, like Gui Mian could. If he could, Zhao Yunlan would ask him if he could grow his hair inky and full on other parts of his body, maybe emulating Pangu. If not, it could be just nightmares, and indeed possibly a side-effect of having souls now.

Shen Wei came to, exercised, and then made them both breakfast and cleaned up, before sitting down for the first time since he’d gotten up. Zhao Yunlan was watching him. Even if it was the same routine he went through every morning, there was still a quality of restlessness about him. Normally, he’d stand still at some point during the morning routine. This morning, he had not stopped moving even once before he’d sat down. 

Zhao Yunlan met his eyes. “What was your nightmare about last night?” 

Shen Wei looked up at him guiltily and then looked away again. Zhao Yunlan peered at him in worry. He hadn’t been this nervous since the time he revealed what the ghost tribe actually was.

“Xiao Wei, you know I’ll still love you no matter what, right?”

“I was with you when Nuwa and Gui Mian had their fight. And at the time, I didn’t really care enough to look into it to get first hand data. There is no way I could know what went on at the time. And yet…” Shen Wei left off.

“You had a very vivid memory of it from Gui Mian’s perspective,” Zhao Yunlan finished for him.

Shen Wei froze. It was the first time either of them had called it a memory. Judging from the way Shen Wei didn’t meet his eyes afterwards, and how he hunched his shoulders, he had come to the same conclusion and was miserable about it. “I’m worried as to what that means about Gui Mian. Why are his memories now coming up for me?”

“Do they feel like the ones from Pangu?” Zhao Yunlan ventured.

That got a blink from Shen Wei. “You think that the ones about me getting crushed by something were… Pangu’s memories?” 

“I only have a theory so far. As of yet, not even anything to prove one way or the other.”

Shen Wei studied Zhao Yunlan’s expression then turned his gaze away from Zhao Yunlan’s eyes. “Reincarnation, you think we were his reincarnations. Zhao Yunlan, even if that were the case, the one who could draw his axe was Gui Mian, and he’s gone now.”

Zhao Yunlan had seen the speed Shen Wei’s blade came to him and had seen it in action, the gracefulness and power behind it. With a blade like that, why would he need to think about summoning an axe? “Have you tried?”

Shen Wei seemed taken aback. “No, but if he could, based on your theory of Pangu’s reincarnation, then surely that would go against me being Pangu’s reincarnation.”

Zhao Yunlan said, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

Shen Wei frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m not sure. Plus, I obviously don’t remember Pangu at all, so I may be barking up the wrong tree entirely. But if anyone found a way to do weird stuff with their reincarnations, it would have been him. He was born before yin and yang were split. I’d say that any future incarnation of him would have to have chaos energy as part of them as well.”

Shen Wei stared. “You’re not joking.”

Zhao Yunlan shook his head.

Shen Wei considered. “How would we even go about proving or disproving that, Yunlan?”

“I think first we see if you can draw the axe. Then there’s a thing I want you to try with your hair.”

Shen Wei gave an indulgent smile and ducked his chin, ready to humor Zhao Yunlan on that part of it at least. 

Zhao Yunlan noticed. “Yes, it does involve growing your hair out, but not just because I happen to like it. This does actually have a purpose. Either way, can you remember enough of what the axe looks like from your recent nightmares or from memory that you can draw it?”

Shen Wei frowned. “I can remember it. It’s the drawing it part I am unclear on.”

Zhao Yunlan shrugged. “Try. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“A false positive.”

“Huh?”

“You asked what’s the worst that could happen. I am answering that it would be if I could draw the axe, but if it still isn’t actually the case that I am Pangu’s reincarnation.”

“True, but if you can’t, you can’t.”

Shen Wei nodded and closed his eyes. “When I was first starting to draw my blade, I had to close my eyes to imagine it clearly. There were a few times I didn’t and it didn’t turn out right. So theoretically, if I imagine the axe and then use the same ability, it should…” He curled his hands in such a way Zhao Yunlan could easily imagine a much younger Shen Wei, who possibly still had claws pop out when he was using his abilities, doing it in much the same way. 

The axe appeared across his lap much as his blade had appeared when Zhao Yunlan had originally guessed that he was the Soul Severing Emissary. Shen Wei opened his eyes to gaze down at it, expression said that he was considering rejecting what his eyes were seeing. Zhao Yunlan wasn’t much better. “You know, I was kind of thinking the answer was going to be you couldn’t.”

Shen Wei nodded, unable to pull his eyes away, eyes looking more and more round by the second and shoulders looking more and more like that small youth he had been when he’d first found out Kunlun was dying. Zhao Yunlan found his gut aching hoping this time it wouldn’t result in anything as drastic.

“That it? That’s the one that Gui Mian also wielded?”

Shen Wei nodded again, but this time a shudder ran through him. Zhao Yunlan’s eyes shot to his face and he was startled to find that Shen Wei looked like he wanted to start crying.

Zhao Yunlan took his hand in an effort to comfort him. “Hey, darling, let’s not jump to the worst conclusion, ok? For all we know, you can draw it because you can imagine it. Haven’t you been able to call up all kinds of other things, just on sheer imagination alone? False positive, like you said.”

“Yunlan, I felt it connect to my heart, and it felt like bone-deep familiarity, older than bone, it felt like…” He clamored to his feet and pushed aside Zhao Yunlan’s hands. “It’s too much to take in. I spent all these years thinking I was never anybody’s reincarnation and now to be Pangu’s… I’m sorry. I need to be alone right now.”

Shen Wei escaped to their balcony to be alone and get some air. 

Zhao Yunlan waited a quarter hour, and then made tea, deliberately banging around in their kitchen as he was making it to let Shen Wei know where he was if he needed him. After a while, the tea was done heating. Zhao Yunlan poured it over some leaves and waited until it had steeped. Then, he brought it out to Shen Wei, set it on the table in between the two chairs they had brought out there. He gave Shen Wei a once over with his eyes and then carefully and broadcasting his intentions, he sat in the unoccupied chair and poured them both a cup of the tea. He carefully slid the teacup in Shen Wei’s direction on the table. Shen Wei reached out a delicate hand and picked up the cup and sipped at it.

“What am I to do with the knowledge now?” he said finally.

“Why does anything have to be done with it?”

“Zhao Yunlan.”

“I’m serious. You can just sit with it. I’ll sit with you of course, if you want me to. But no one else needs to know until you are ready, if ever, and there’s nothing earth shattering going on now that requires you to use it immediately.”

Shen Wei turned to him. “There is another part that may be more relevant, and that part might require disclosure. It might also change our relationship. I know you want to respond that nothing could, but please wait on that sentiment; this might in fact be the area that might. But since the first part is turning out truer and truer, the second part might be as well.”

Zhao Yunlan tipped his head. He already could guess what the second part was, but he wanted to know what Shen Wei thought of it. “Go on.”

Shen Wei picked up his tea again and downed it like a shot. “I’m having Gui Mian’s memories too. More than just that one. Which could mean he’s still alive within me.”

Zhao Yunlan thought about it. That could mean a lot of things, since Pangu had been just as unique in the world as Shen Wei was before or now. For all he knew, Shen Wei could have picked up Gui Mian’s ghost - if the ghost tribe even had ghosts when they died - when he entered chaos, and now Gui Mian could be getting stronger and stronger. If anyone could pull off riding Shen Wei, it would be Gui Mian, even with Shen Wei being far Gui Mian’s superior in plotting and in power, in every way, but if anyone could. That might be enough to explain the memories. But if it was as Shen Wei no doubt suspected - and to tell the truth, Zhao Yunlan guessed more likely as well - then Gui Mian’s ghost and Shen Wei had come together and that was the first time Pangu had been together since he had initially died, and that this was why Shen Wei was only now having the memories. But it also meant that Gui Mian’s ghost had rejoined with Shen Wei’s. He could see why Shen Wei was terrified of that possibility.

But to be able to test which it was, he needed more information. “Are you having his feelings and thoughts too or just watching his memories like a movie?”

Shen Wei blinked. “I don’t know. I never knew him well enough to even know if I’m having his emotional reactions to the memories. My main concern with him has always been keeping him away from you and away from his goals of tearing down the pillars and punching another hole in the sky so he and the rest of the ghost tribe could come up and devour the world.”

Zhao Yunlan nodded and thought about that, and decided to try something. If there was one thing he had learned from listening to Gui Mian that last time before he had destroyed himself, it was that he had strong feelings about certain topics, topics that Shen Wei didn’t share his reaction on. “How do you think he felt about the ghost tribe? Have you gotten any indication as to whether he did actually feel for them, or was just saying that to make you feel bad?”

Shen Wei frowned. “Yes. He was always angry that you locked them up like that in that lightless, soulless place. He felt… he knew he deserved it, but some of the others had done nothing. Nothing in his view, of course, the ones who were old enough had still eaten everything in sight when they had come up but not all of them were… there were even a few he was fond of. He looked at them almost… like he’d adopted them as his children. There was another he viewed as a… that’s impossible though, for anyone in the ghost tribe to have had friends… and to have had children one didn’t view as extensions of self, but as someone one gave to, that would have been impossible. Friends would have been unthinkable.”

Zhao Yunlan said, “Like brothers and kinship should have been?”

Shen Wei took that like an electric shock. “I, Zhao Yunlan, could they have felt such emotions for one another? I’d thought they felt no more than lust. Certainly not love for one another. Certainly not love without any lust. Could they have felt such emotions and we locked them up for such a long time there?” He was recoiling, as though from something physical, but then realized that there was nothing physical to recoil from. 

Zhao Yunlan slipped from his seat and squatted down in front of him, taking his hands. “Shen Wei, it was my doing, mine, Shennong’s, Nuwa’s, and Fuxi’s.” 

Shen Wei shook his head. “They just wanted to kill them. I carried out the prison sentence for all those years.”

Zhao Yunlan rubbed the backs of Shen Wei’s hands in a way his mother used to do for him when he was little. “It was due to that that they even had a chance to be connected to the Wheel of Reincarnation. Besides, even looking at it now, I’m still not sure what else we could have done with them that would have been better.”

Shen Wei frowned. “I agree, but doesn’t kinship rely in part on… if we imprisoned them thinking that they had not developed souls, and then they went and did…”

Zhao Yunlan shook his head. “On souls? No, apparently not, judging by the fact that you gaining your souls connected the others to the Wheel of Reincarnation. Apparently, one could get to love and familial feeling through the three corpses alone. As evidenced by you, you know.”

Shen Wei pulled his hand back, forming little fists with them. “I thought the others could not. I thought I alone…”

Zhao Yunlan decided to hug him, slowly pushing himself up and leaning over to embrace him while giving him the chance to pull back if he should want to. When he got his arms around him, with Shen Wei resting his head against Zhao Yunlan’s shoulder, he said, “To be fair, I think only the highest tier of the ghost tribe managed it. You, Gui Mian, maybe four or five others. From what I saw of them, the others seemed to view each other as competition, objects to fuck, or food.”

Shen Wei nodded. “That is what I thought too.”

Zhao Yunlan said, “So you provided them a way to get on the Wheel of Reincarnation. Otherwise, they would have punched a hole in the sky again and brought chaos back. In a way, you being Pangu’s reincarnation makes sense. You were making sure heaven and earth didn’t come crashing back into one another.”

Shen Wei sighed. “I always thought I was unworthy of carrying out the task Pangu had started, that you had handed to me, but I did try to the best of my ability.”

Zhao Yunlan kissed his hair and hugged him tighter. “You were always worthy. I felt bad that it had to be left on your shoulders when you were so young.”

Shen Wei studied him. “Are you sure that they would have?”

Zhao Yunlan nodded. “Even with familial feeling, even with love, they still tried to devour everything in sight and punch a hole through the sky. They could have had all the feelings of kinship in the world and it not have prevented them from trying to destroy the world.”

Shen Wei leaned against him and then turned his face up to kiss him, finally relaxed enough to be willing to indulge him. 

However, after a session of making out, Shen Wei once again had his thoughts on the topic. “What do we do about the fact that I’m having Gui Mian’s memories and his emotions?”

That was why Zhao Yunlan had originally tested if Shen Wei knew what Gui Mian had felt about the rest of the ghost tribe. He just hadn’t anticipated Shen Wei freaking out as much as he had, and had been almost ready to drop the questions if it meant Shen Wei didn’t freak out again..

Shen Wei continued, “By your theory of being Pangu’s reincarnation and by the fact that I can feel what his emotions were for the ghost tribe, that would mean that through his death, he and I became one person… wouldn’t it?”

“It is one of the theories, and not one we can rule out now that you definitely feel his emotions. But he could also just be riding you.”

Shen Wei shook his head. “I would know if he was. He tried to remove a piece of himself and put it on me before, so I can tell what that feels like. It was what led to my knowledge that I could do it to everyone else and that they’d think it was someone else.”

Zhao Yunlan met Shen Wei’s eyes in what he hoped conveyed that Shen Wei should not do that again. 

“So if I am feeling his emotions about things, and if I am able to draw his axe, Pangu’s axe, and if Pangu was both of us…” Shen Wei turned in his arms to face him. “Zhao Yunlan, what if I become more like him? What if the conclusions I reach are his, rather than mine?”

Zhao Yunlan shook his head. “A, you’re still you, even with his emotions potentially in there in equal amounts, but ultimately, it is still you talking and you at the wheel. You can choose to accept or reject his conclusions as they come up.”

Shen Wei nodded, but was not convinced.

Zhao Yunlan decided to continue onto his second point. “B, he died, as in, he exploded, not just throwing himself into the Guardian Lantern and chaos. It might be better to think of the reincarnation as being a past reincarnation rather than another half of yourself. Just as in my past reincarnations, I recognize why I made the decisions I made, but in this lifetime, I would certainly not make all the same decisions, even if I can remember the emotions behind them and understand why they were made.”

That argument had the benefit that Shen Wei himself had discussed it with him a couple months before when Zhao Yunlan had remembered about a past reincarnation who had done things that while understandable, he did not agree with and would never do now. He could see Shen Wei reaching the same reference and for the first time applying it to himself. But he still didn’t seem entirely convinced.

Time for argument C then. “C, I don’t think that’s going to happen. I do think you might continue to reach your own conclusions about things that are perhaps different from what you thought before, but that the new conclusions are not necessarily due to Gui Mian. I think you are fair to be angry for some time that that was the best we could come up with for how to deal with the ghost tribe and that you got stuck watching it for five thousand years. I think you are fair for being angry at Difu, though I think you’ve already gotten your revenge on them for the way they treated you and kept suspecting you of everything, when you had already promised to die to give them back the Seal and your every day was a statement of that, so I might request you take it easy on them.”

“They were fair to think that, particularly if Gui Mian had partially gotten out years before and whispered to the Judge about how I was his brethren.”

Zhao Yunlan nodded. “Out of curiosity, how many years ago did he get out, even partially?”

Shen Wei blinked at him. “Didn’t you know? When I told you eight hundred years ago was the last time there was black smoke in the Thirty-Three Skies, you guessed it was related to Gui Mian.”

Zhao Yunlan blinked. “Ahh. I just didn’t know he got out that long ago.”

“Only partially, and I had to put the vast majority of his powers back, so he was harmless for another few hundred years. Even if he could come out rarely, he was still only able to whisper at people for a while.”

Zhao Yunlan continued the thought. “And the Judge was only too willing to eat up those whisperings. He was terrified of you.”

“He’d seen me put Gui Mian back down and patch the Seal that time. I think he only realized how powerful I was when he asked about what the Seal was, and then when he saw how much power I had to use to force Gui Mian back under it, it terrified him even more.” 

Shen Wei made a face as though he’d tasted something bitter. “I think I preferred him being terrified to what he is like now.”

Zhao Yunlan laughed, remembering what the Judge had been when he’d last seen him at the rearranging of the courts. “Is he still obsequiously fawning?”

“Mmm. And there are even suggestions of things Difu should be doing for me, even one involving constructing a temple that I immediately put a stop to, going around, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he started them.”

“Well you did save the entire Difu court and have to set up a new court in the aftermath of what went down following the new Seal being set up.”

“Yes, and there’s a reason I have been up here in your company ever since. With all the petitions they write to me, it feels like being bothered by a thousand gnats all day long. I don’t think I could bear either the embarrassment or that the number of gnats would only increase if they were to do any of that.”

“I know, right? I had to stop a suggestion by some of the yao tribes to build a temple in the Kunlun Mountains to renew their connection to me. That would be awful.”

“Mmm. Plus, I imagine they’d all want you to share a bottle of baijiu with them.”

Zhao Yunlan winced. “A homemade bottle too. I’d be drunk in a single sip. I’d have to have you drink with me.”

“Let’s not repeat the experience with Mr. Lang, thank you. And I’d have to have you do Difu paperwork with me if Difu gets its way.”

Zhao Yunlan laughed. “Potentially, you could have it leak that you are getting Gui Mian’s memories and until that settles down, anyone that bothers you about unnecessary stuff might meet Gui Mian’s temper rather than your eternally patient one.”

Shen Wei froze again. “Weren’t you just saying that…” Then he realized Zhao Yunlan was suggesting something he could say, not necessarily the truth and let out a small huff of laughter. “I could not do that, even if it’d certainly get it to stop. Some of what the Judge might deem unnecessary is actually of key importance. More of it probably if he’s too terrified to bother me. I’ll find another way.”

“Just saying.”

“I’ll consider it. But, Yunlan, returning to the topic, do you not mind if that is actually the case? I fear…”

“I think it would inevitably happen that you form different opinions even without Gui Mian’s memories. Some of your long held beliefs were based on your hatred of the ghost tribe, your views of them certainly were, which was in part due to you literally being out of the three corpses without anything to offset them. Were you anyone else on the Guardian Order, I would recommend you go see a therapist about how that affects how you see yourself.”

“Yunlan.”

“I said anyone else! You’d just charm the pants off whatever therapist you got, or I’d have to follow along and make the therapist forget if you mentioned a topic civies don’t know about.”

Shen Wei still gave him a look. 

Zhao Yunlan continued, “So, now that the hatred from the three corpses is no longer overwhelming…”

Shen Wei concluded, “You think some of the changes might be more related to that than related to Gui Mian.”

“Got it.” Zhao Yunlan nodded. “Besides, Gui Mian did explode himself while he was out of the Seal and out of chaos. Technically, he died and there’s no proof that you are doing more than remembering him and his emotions.”

“Could that have been what led to my souls?”

Zhao Yunlan shrugged. “Possibly. It’s up to you whether you want to find out. We don’t have to find out or even decide on everything now.”

Shen Wei considered. “Yunlan, thank you for being here with me while I go through this.”

Zhao Yunlan kissed his forehead again. “As long as we face it together, we can face anything. Besides, you are also there for me as I’m still coming to terms with my reincarnations. Which I still haven’t examined half of them.”

Shen Wei nodded. “Yes. And I will continue to be.”

Zhao Yunlan smiled at him. “Then I will continue to be here for you as you go through this one.”

Shen Wei leaned his head against Zhao Yunlan. Then something else occurred to him, and he pulled away to gaze back at Zhao Yunlan. “You know, if I am Pangu’s reincarnation, does that technically mean I’m older than Kunlun was? Does that change how you feel about me?”

Zhao Yunlan turned to gaze back at Shen Wei. “You know I’ve never…” he started, only to see Shen Wei smile as though at a joke. Zhao Yunlan started laughing and sought out Shen Wei’s hand with his fingers and laced their fingers together as though in a question, and Shen Wei squeezed Zhao Yunlan’s fingers in reply. They were still alright and would face whatever new discoveries they made about their reincarnations together.

But there was still a question Zhao Yunlan had. “So, about the long hair thing, can you grow it everywhere on your body? I want to see what Pangu would have actually looked like.”

Shen Wei stared at him. “How about I grow mine out again and you can play with it to your heart’s content?”

Zhao Yunlan decided that was an acceptable trade off.

[missfangirll]

☆°･:*:･｡★ Videos ★ ｡･:*:･°☆

★ 陈情令 | The Untamed ★

☆ Nothing More (Xiao Xingchen) ☆ Memories (Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan) ☆ Der Weg (Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan)   

★ 莲花楼 | Mysterious Lotus Casebook ★

☆ Never your friend (Fang Duobing/Li Lianhua/Di Feisheng) ☆ Coming Home (Fang Duobing/Li Lianhua/Di Feisheng) ☆ Nothing’s Like Home (Fang Duobing/Li Lianhua/Di Feisheng) ☆ Homesick  (Fang Duobing/Li Lianhua/Di Feisheng)

    ★ 盗墓笔记 | The Lost Tomb ★

☆ Read my Lips (The Lost Tomb Restart: The Grave in the Abyss, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Saving Grace (The Lost Tomb Restart: The Grave in the Abyss, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Never Again (The Lost Tomb Restart: The Grave in the Abyss, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Like Real People Do (The Lost Tomb: Ultimate Note, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Ugly Heart (The Mystic Nine: Qing Shan Hai Tang, Yan Sanxing) ☆ The Storm (The Lost Tomb Restart: The Grave in the Abyss, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Unstoppable (The Lost Tomb Restart: The Grave in the Abyss, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Someone you loved (The Lost Tomb: Sand Sea, Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling) ☆ Someone you loved (ver.2) (The Lost Tomb: Sand Sea, Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling) ☆ My Clan (The Lost Tomb & The Mystic Nine: Zhang Family tribute) ☆ The Anthem (The Lost Tomb: Sand Sea, Su Nan) ☆ The Kill (The Mystic Nine: Qing Shan Hai Tang, Yan Sanxing) ☆ Poker Face (The Lost Tomb, Zhang Qiling) ☆ Material Girl (The Lost Tomb: Ultimate Note, Hei Xiazi) ☆ Always been you (The Lost Tomb: Reunion, Kan Jian/Liu Sang) ☆ With Iris (The Lost Tomb: Reunion, Iron Triangle) ☆ A Thousand Years (The Lost Tomb: Reunion, Kan Jian/Liu Sang, Reincarnation AU) ☆ Say Goodbye (The Lost Tomb: Reunion, Wu Xie & Wu Sanxing) ☆ Two (The Lost Tomb: Reunion, Pangzi) ☆ Runaway (The Lost Tomb, Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling) ☆ Stay Alive (The Lost Tomb: Reunion, Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling) ☆ I will not bow (The Lost Tomb: Reunion, Liu Sang) ☆ Counting stars (The Lost Tomb: Sand Sea, Liang Wan/Zhang Rishan) ☆ Seven Wonders (The Lost Tomb: Ultimate Note, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Flatline (The Lost Tomb: Ultimate Note, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ I’ve been blind (The Lost Tomb: Ultimate Note, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Rock Bottom (The Lost Tomb: Ultimate Note, Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua) ☆ Where do lovers go? (The Lost Tomb: Reunion, Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling) ☆ King and Lionheart (The Mystic Nine: Fo Ye & Zhang Rishan)

  ★ 镇魂 | Guardian ★

☆ Favourite Song (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ Eternity (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ Shallow (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ Come to me (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ I’ll wait (Chu Shuzhi/Guo Changcheng) ☆ Alone (Ye Zun) ☆ Die for you (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ We won't be falling (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ Fear of the Water (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ Silence (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ We found love (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ Enough to go by (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ All the love that I ever needed (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan) ☆ These old wheels (Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan)

     ★ S.C.I.谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery ★

☆ True Love (Bai Yutong/Zhan Yao)

               ★ 天官赐福 | Heaven Officials’s Blessing ★

☆ Coming Home (Xie Lian/Hua Cheng)

     ★ 苍兰诀  | Love between Fairy and Devil ★

☆ I used to rule the world (Dongfang Qingcang & Xunfeng)

    ★ KinnPorsche ★

☆ Half a Man (Vegas/Pete) ☆ Poison (Vegas/Pete) ☆ Would you come home (Vegas/Pete)

     ☆ﾟ･:*:･｡★ﾟ You can always send an ask! ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ☆

[ohmyitsfaith]

Fics about dramas masterlist

I can’t trust the fall  —Written with @ttheweirdguypp​

A story about two rivals, who through their years of high school realize that there’s more to the other than what they originally thought. In other words they fall in love ​

Happiness Actually  —Written with @ttheweirdguypp​

Inspired by Love Actually, Happiness Actually follows the lives of six high school couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic year of high school, in China.  —Finished book

Guardian bingo 2023

A collection of stories and other art about the famous chinese drama, Guardian  —Ongoing series

The Mystery of the Ancient Blade

An adventure that includes a mystery, scruffy detective, an ancient being, an ex-tomb raider, their friends, and of course lots of chaos —Ongoing series

Dearest, you said

A series of stories from the lives of Shen Wei, Zhao Yunlan and Wu Xie.  —Ongoing series

The effects of the love potion —Written with @dual-domination, @meluci-fer, @sagittariusdarkarrow, @victorian-pirate​

What started as a joke, became a fic. It has everything you may need: Weilanxie, enemies to lovers, Robin Hood AU, knights, regents and thieves, a mission and of course the ominous love potion.

About promised, planned and pressed kisses of prom night —Written with @ttheweirdguypp​

A story about how Win wanted to kiss his boyfriend all night, but was always interrupted

About promises and proposals  —Written with @ttheweirdguypp​

A story about how Sound teased his boyfriend which ended up causing Win to propose

More stories: Main Masterlist

[miss-ingno]

25, 38, 51 please! 😀

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Ngl, it's probably worldbuilding/brainstorming in a friend's DMs. It happens a lot more than I ever put out fic for, and it just brings me so much joy to go "Oh, oh! WHAT IF!" and get to see friend's reaction, especially the enabling kind or see them spiralling off into their own spin-off direction :D

38. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

I'm terrible at just sticking with one - so have three instead!

The Fringe Benefits of Being Family - kidfic fluff with my kid OCs and Zhao Yunlan being A Good Dad, Actually. I probably could've reached a much wider audience by just posting the Weilan scene in the beginning as a standalone, but gdi I wanted more of my kids x'D

this is how the war is won - YOHE AU with alpha!Kunlun and omega!Shen Wei being starcrossed lovers on opposite sides of the war. There's not a lot of love for omegaverse in this fandom, which is fine, I can bring my own :D

Good Poison Taste Bitter - Zhu Hong PoV on the Zhang Danni case in an Already Married Weilan AU. The premise for this verse has existed for a long time, I just never finished any of the related fics. Until I sat down and asked myself, what's a self-indulgent trope you would love that you haven't allowed yourself to write recently? The answer was shenanigans related to Secret Idenity and outsider PoV, which culminated in this fic.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Depends! There's definitely stuff I like to read that I don't write because I'm not usually inspired to, and the emotions hit differently when reading vs writing. I can never tell how angsty something I write is e.g. because constant re-reading for editing takes out a lot of the impact. And some plots have a level of complexity my writing skills are not good enough for (especially in regards to my patience and seeing it through and keeping it *consistent*. I have a terrible tendency of wanting to reach the conclusion early and writing the characters at the state they're supposed to end up in rather than growing towards that goal)

Send me some Fanfiction Writing Asks!

[mejomonster]

SOME FIC RECS LETS GO

These are the fics I'm currently reading or rereading. <3

Divergence by 13empress: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3327329/chapters/7273328

It is AOS Star Trek, Spirk, time travel and fix it fic and just was so amazing last time I read it.

Rapture by ratbones: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33172045/chapters/82355902

Weilan, Guardian, cyberpunk case fic science fiction mystery. Summary: In the towering neon-lit half-underground metropolis of Dragon City, a cryptic homicide case brings together Dixing Register Department field agent Shen Wei and an unusual detective by the name of Kunlun, who may not be what he seems.

Mismatch by laireshi: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25206172

Weilan, Guardian, secret identity. Summary: Zhao Yunlan goes to Shen Wei's office and runs into the Black-Cloaked Envoy instead. He does his best to convince him not to send Shen Wei back to Dixing.

Void by Alxina and xantissa: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38479816

Love and Redemption, Luohuo Jidu X Yu Sifeng, Summary: What happened in the Demon Citadel when Luohou Jidou realized Yu Sifeng was a lot more injured than he let on. (I'm so happy fic for LaR exists)

The Crimson Lotus by bonibaru: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19983613/

Guardian, Weilan, summary: A chance meeting. An unexpected union. A kingdom in turmoil. Secrets run deep in the tumultuous land of Haixing - but none more deeply than those between crown prince Zhao Yunlan and his mysterious new husband from Dixing.

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by ancient_moonshine: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33438478/chapters/83065069

Guardian, weilan, organized crime au, dark. Summary: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33438478/chapters/83065069

Who Wants to Live Forever by The_Marron: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38704245

Guardian, weilan, enemies to lovers historical au. Summary: Shen Wei hates the highly-favoured General of the North. He’s reckless, unorthodox and unruly, he disregards almost everything Shen Wei knows about conducting battles, and yet he returns triumphant every single time, his signature cocky smile firmly on his face. Shen Wei hates that he is so competent, hates that he is so unlike Kunlun, his predecessor. He hates how much he yearns for his return every time Zhao Yunlan goes away.

To bind a tiger and subdue a lion by Humanlighthouse: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30487530/

Pingxie, dmbj, Summary: While rescuing his shady uncle, young antiquarian Wu Xie somehow finds himself bound to a man of mystery by an even more mysterious set of jewelry. Much like his efforts to discover the man's identity, every step Wu Xie takes to unbind himself from him seems to have the opposite effect from the one intended, but does he really mind?

Into the Woods by killerandhealerqueen: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38655996/chapters/96639642

Killer and Healer, alternate universe fantasy historical. Summary: It was a calm and peaceful night as a tall young man dressed in black robes, with light skin, brown eyes, and long dark brown hair pulled up in a half-up, half-down, the half-up part of the ponytail adorned with four braids while four smaller braids framed his face, walked through the forest that surrounded the kingdom, basket in hand as he was out collecting ingredients for his latest potion. As he walked through the forest, enjoying the crisp night air that caressed his face, a scream suddenly echoed throughout the forest, an explosion following shortly afterwards. At the scream, the young man paused and looked around, a frown of confusion on his face.

         ‘I thought I was the only one out here at this hour…so who screamed?’

先来后到 ⃒ first come, first served by sarahyyy: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28357530

SVSSS, mobei Jun X Shang qinghua, bridgerton au. Summary: “You speak of my engagement to Gongyi Xiao,” Shang Qinghua says. He’s quiet today. Distant. “The banns will no doubt be read this coming Sunday.”

Mobei Jun’s chest tightens. His fingers curl into fists. “Why?”

“He proposed, Your Grace,” Shang Qinghua says mildly. “There seemed to be no other offers forthcoming, and he is an acceptable match.”

“I came back, didn’t I?” Mobei Jun asks, hoarse.

(Or, the Bridgerton-inspired AU nobody asked for.)

Reweave Our Lives by starandrea: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20511506/chapters/48679718

Guardian, weilan, post canon fix it fic. (One of my favorite post canon stories) Summary: After the Hallows restore the Guardian, they bring back the Envoy and the Enemy as well. Zhao Yunlan will do anything for Shen Wei, but he has to accept that there is no Shen Wei without Ye Zun: not now, and maybe not ever.

Deal with me by amiyade: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38888196/chapters/97249488

Heihua, dmbj, merman au. Summary: He didn’t leave home with the intention to buy an at least two metre long octopus-man, but apparently that was his life at the moment.

Xie Yuchen makes the purchase of his life and gets so much more than he bargained for.

Maybe you just don't understand the brain of an ancient alien by Hyde_DualDomination: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45424996/chapters/114289978

Guardian X The Lost Tomb (dmbj) crossover. Summary: The fact was simple: Wu Xie, the antique shop owner, had been a good friend of Shen Wei for a while - how it had happened was a long and ridiculous story, which Zhao Yunlan had heard five times and had stopped trying to understand, - and he was one of the few people who had always known that Shen Wei was Dixingren. And it was Wu Xie who Shen Wei had chosen to ask for help in his severe case of inability to confess his love - even if that love was something ridiculously explicit at that point.

The Gate of Memory by Destina: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2659442

Merthur, Merlin, post canon reincarnation fix it fic, this was recommended to me and thank you so much for it! Summary: Merlin forgets to remember, until the time comes to remember once again.

*Deeper Water by Alxina: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46632835/chapters/117440221

Silent Reading, Fei Du X Luo Wenzhou, I LOVE THIS FIC, character study, canon compliant. Alxina writes amazing Silent Reading fics <3 Summary: Luo Wenzhou has several headaches in his life, and one of them is called Fei Du.

When he gets called into Chengguang Mansion to pick up Fei Du on his request, Luo Wenzhou has no idea what to expect. He now knows better than to walk in with expectations where Fei Du is concerned. However, this time Luo Wenzhou finds himself in deeper water, because apparently, nothing is what it seems.

Least of all, Fei Du.

~What Makes Monsters Stop Devouring by softcorevulcan (me): https://archiveofourown.org/works/21072317/chapters/50130563

Guardian, Weilan, Ye Zun X Kunlun, post canon fix it fic, Ye Old Haixing, dark, angst with a happy ending, time travel. (Yeah I'm reccing my fic lol). Summary: Zhao Yunlan is brought back to life. Then he is brought back in time 10,000 years, to a version of the past that is different from the one he experienced the first time. And Shen Wei is alive and okay, but it’s not clear if that means everything Zhao Yunlan hopes it does. Also, Ye Zun is there. And Kunlun never died.

Or: Shen Wei and Ye Zun did end up okay, together, after they died, after Shen Wei promised to be with Zhao Yunlan again. This is the story of them all finding their way to that better ending.

[dual-domination]

Why did he have to see Zhao Yunlan? He had chosen Hangzhou to get away from him, but it wasn't far enough it seemed. He couldn't even regret it, when it was exactly that place that had brought Wu Xie to him. Why had Zhao Yunlan looked at him like he was hurt? "You don't even remember that I couldn't keep our promise so you could be hurt with me..." He leaned against the wall and wiped his tears with the sleeves of his sweater, but they kept falling. "Can I really have a little bit of a happy life before I disappear forever?... Or was I born condemned?..." ...  “Xiao Wei?” Wu Xie called out as he rushed over to the other, letting what he was carrying drop and kneeling in front of Shen Wei. “Darling? What’s wrong?” The protective creature inside him came to the surface, ready to take out any threats to his love, but just like the loyal dogs his family raised, Wu Xie knew his place was at Shen Wei’s side more than it was to hunt down whatever had left his lover in such a state. ... The view across the street totally captured him. For a while, he just watched, the affection and the laughter, the furtive touches, the glances exchanged. The connection. The cold hand that had warmed between his, sliding gently down another's arm. "Zhao Yunlan, are you there?" Lin Jing waved a hand in front of his friend’s face. Zhao Yunlan clicked his tongue, "I said I wanted to see him again, but not like this..."

More sad times with our boys, @tazzy-ace and I!

[notgonnashutup]

I definitely told you 'I love you', Some hundreds of years ago, It's just that you forgot, And I haven't realized either. //if you are trouble, I want a lifetime of you. (Zhao yunlan to shen wei) // when I go toward you, it is with my whole life. // when I have a lover, I let them win (pat to pran)

[imaginaryelle]

Why do you ship liushen? Is that couple your favorite side couple (non-canon) from all of mxtx works? [Compare to, for example : beefleaf (shi qingxuan/ke xuan), xiyao (lan xichen/meng yao), fengqing (feng xin/mu qing), etc]

Thanks....

Oh, good questions. So, first: I haven't read TGCF (yet), so I can't comment on beefleaf and fengqing. It's on my list, and I do love a good examination of belief and godhood, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

Second: My favorite non-canon couple in an MXTX work is probably Qijiu, followed by that rarest of trios, Yue Qingyuan/Shen Qingqiu/Liu Qingge. Then Liushen, then 3zun, nielan and xiyao.

Part of the reason they're ordered this way is because I'm interpreting "favorite" in this case as "most likely to read and write fic for." As I am actively writing fic for the first two, they get ranked higher, but I do enjoy the others a lot!

Okay, on to the main question:

Liushen hits a few fun shipping buttons for me. A lot of my ships look something like: intelligent and unconventional wizard/engineer meets a steadfast paladin (who maybe has some issues with rigid thinking) and then they enable each other in both fantastic and terrible ways, probably while at least one of them is in denial about or suppressing their feelings.

You might notice that that describes pretty much every ship I listed, plus like. wangxian, stevetony, and a few other things you can find in my fandom history if you go back far enough. weilan shifts only slightly to the side, because Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan switch off which of them is playing which role based on their circumstances.

So, what makes Liushen stand out? Trope-wise, I love enemies to friends to lovers almost as much as I love friends to lovers. I'm a sucker for life debts changing a character's perspective. And a romance among peers? Comrades in arms? Sparring practice and mutual attempts to rescue each other???? Amazing, fantastic, give me more.

Plus, it's cute! The fan thing is cute. The way they're both effectively monster geeks is cute, and lends itself to some great teamwork potential. The mix of fighting styles is excellent. Shen Yuan going "wow, Liu Qingge is the most beautiful man in the world and possibly all of history, it's unbelievable how beautiful he is" and then "hm? My sexuality? Oh, I'm 100% straight" is hilarious to me. Liu Qingge's journey of self discovery and the idea that maybe he wants more in his life than constant training is something I find really personally fulfilling, too, and when they come together there's a lot of opportunity for shenanigans as well as the romance.

Some of it, too, is about unrealized potential: That is, after all, the main reason I will write fic of anything, but these two are especially good at that potential part. Shen Yuan doing his best to save Liu Qingge even though he has no idea what he's doing, just because he thinks Liu Qingge doesn't deserve to die for making the mistake of thinking he has to be alone. Liu Qingge's relentless attempts to reclaim SQQ's body so he can at least have a decent burial. That moment near the end when SQQ says, "I asked you because I trusted you."

It's a very good ship.