#zero willingness to even try for any self-control

[aziraphalalala]

Aziraphale is a feral beast once he gets a taste of something he likes. Ox rib. Sushi. Wine. Cake. Books.

Crowley.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

But It Beats the Darkness - Malevolent Big Bang 2024, ch.1: STUBBORN

Serial killer Wallace Larson has been murdering children for his ritual, and the cops won't stop him. Private investigators Parker Yang and Arthur Lester choose to get involved... and everything goes wrong.

Interrupting the ritual leaves Parker missing, Arthur in chains, and a piece of the King in Yellow in Arthur's head. But this piece knows who he is, and knows what he wants: to complete his ritual and rule Earth.

Unfortunately, Arthur is incredibly stubborn, maudlin over his missing partner (stupid Parker Yang), and John, it turns out, is not the only piece of the King seeking power right now.

It's a race against time, and John has a heavy handicap. With Larson in pursuit, a trail of murdered victims in their wake, and a host whose body is failing, John is determined to win at any cost... even if the cost includes Arthur Lester.

"It may not be much light but it beats the darkness" ~ Charles Bukowski, The Laughing Heart

AO3

NOTE BEFORE READING

This is part one of a Darkthur fic. There is violence and bodily harm.

This fic was written in tandem with Kraiva's IT MAY NOT BE MUCH LIGHT, and is intended to be read together, though both are standalone. For the fullest experience, read the corresponding chapter from each fic. We'll be linking the connected chapters in the end notes of each.

The incredible art in chapters two and eleven are by @wurmeon. The breathtaking 3D models in chapter six are from @iconiccookie.

---------------

Arthur screamed, and the entity knew he didn’t want to.

Arthur hated giving them that , losing self-control so the sound tore out of him rough and ragged, bleeding his throat and straining his tongue. So Arthur said, anyway. But, well, Larson’s people had just broken his big toe with a hammer, so screaming was perhaps inevitable.

This whole thing just wasn’t doing it for the entity the way it initially had. Arthur wasn’t giving in. Zero progress had been made on the entity’s freedom. Humans, he decided, sucked at torture, but lacking his own body made hands-on education impossible. 

At least he could still play along. He laughed.That was a good hit! I do appreciate precision.

“Go to hell,” Arthur possibly said, a mangled and thick-throated sound, barely intelligible, which meant they were probably done for today. Once he was no longer functioning mentally, there was no point in continuing. 

The usual tell was when Arthur lost the ability to tell them what they could do with their mothers.

It was ironic, really. Arthur could stop all this with just the tiniest bit of collaboration, of willingness, even a clever bit of deception, but he never did. The entity did not understand why.

One of the torturers pulled back and punched them in the face.

The entity saw it coming; Arthur did not, and took it full on the mouth, lips splitting. He groaned, choked, and sprayed enough blood to hint he’d bitten through his tongue again.

Wallace Larson waited, arms crossed, tapping his foot. Finally, he walked over, grabbed Arthur by the swollen, bruised jaw, and lifted his face.

Arthur tried to say fuck you (at least, the entity thought he did) and managed only a hiss of blood and froth.

“Well,” said Larson softly, studying him as though looking for a crossword clue. “I’m sure that was informative, but alas. We’ll have to try again tomorrow.”

They’d gotten no answers. Again. How long was this going to take? He’s got life in him yet.

“Yes, and I’d rather not chase that out, since we don’t precisely know what that would do to you, Your Greatness,” Larson said, and let go.

Arthur went limp, dangling from his chains.

“Take care of it,” Larson said like he did every night, and walked away. Arthur hung, breathing like a broken bellows, and mumbled something about… bunnies?

What? said the entity.

“Bunny,” Arthur managed, spitting blood with every syllable.

What the hell was he saying? An animal?

“Jumps. Random,” Arthur said, dribbling more blood. “Like the… footsteps.”

Ah. Arthur must mean the echo of Wallace’s fine shoes, cracking sharply as he marched down the hall and up the stairs and away from this dungeon. What a funny observation to make.

(Funny intriguing. The entity still planned to torture this man for what he’d taken, but he was leaning more and more toward “keep” instead of “kill” these days. Not that Arthur would like that. No. That was half the fun.)

The healers came in at last. They were shameful, the entity thought. They used magic, technically, but it was human magic, and about as elegant as the shit Arthur left in the corner bucket every morning. This magic didn’t actually heal him; it forced his body to heal itself at an accelerated rate—using his own body’s resources.

It had only been a few days, but the result was stark: yes, when they finished, he had no wounds. Yes, when they left, his bones were healed and his burns were smooth and shiny. 

But also when they left, Arthur was visibly thinner, and so tired that he often curled around his empty, aching stomach and wept as if that could somehow bring relief.

In the beginning, this man had been in good shape. Now? He looked like a scarecrow, shock wrapped in skin, like his fat and muscle had been devoured.

It was a lot to put up with for the sake of a little information. Why wouldn’t he give in?

If only Arthur were actually stupid, it would make sense. He wasn’t stupid. The entity had figured that out with very little conversation, confirmed by the details Wallace provided—Arthur was a private investigator, relying on mental acuity, and his reputation was good.

That made his continual defiance baffling. So, like every night, the healers left. And, like every night, Arthur sobbed. But, unlike every night, the entity could take no more mystery. He had to ask: Why do you let them do this to you?

Arthur’s breath hitched. “The fuck do you mean, ‘let them?’ What am I going to do, turn into a mouse and escape? I couldn’t even see where to run.”

True. He’d been blind since the explosion. Since he and his stupid partner interrupted the final ritual, when both the partner and the book disappeared into thin fucking air. The entity owned Arthur’s eyes now. No, imbecile. Why won’t you just give them what they ask for? They’ll still kill you, but at least it would be quick. Surely, Arthur knew that. You’re dragging things out. You’re suffering when you don’t have to, and I can tell you don’t enjoy it. I want to know why!

A moment of silence passed while (as always), this foolish human took his time obeying. “It matters not how strait the gate,” Arthur mumbled, “how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”

What the actual hell?

The entity wished he could stare this weirdo in the face. Fucking what?

“I have nothing to give them,” Arthur said instead of explaining.

Bullshit. You do. You have your knowledge. How you found this place. How you interfered. How you hurt me . The entity paused. And where the fuck your partner is now.

Arthur laughed weakly, a wheeze that sounded a million years old. “That especially, I will never tell. It won’t matter what they do. I hope Parker got away. I hope he’s bringing the gods-damned army to raze this place to the ground. I hope we all get chlorine-bombed and die.”

Fuck, said the entity, unsure if he were impressed or disgusted or just pissed off.

He didn’t get the chance to pursue it. Like every night, Arthur tipped into miserable sleep.

#

There’d been no body in the rubble. The book was gone. Larson said there’d a glimpse of gold and wonder as the entity himself—King, god , ruler of all he surveyed—began to come through. Then Arthur and his partner showed up, and it went to hell.

Partner missing. Book missing. Endless days of torture, screaming, crying. More defiance hurled in the face of reason and logic.

Arthur was not stupid. Why did he keep doing this? Why?

“He was using it to kill innocent people!” said Arthur about the book.

So? Just humans! They’re dying, anyway, mortals, their lives given in my service, which gives them meaning!

“He stole their lives’ meaning,” Arthur argued, and that confused the entity so much that there were no more questions for an hour.

What was he talking about? How could a mortal life ever have meaning? Ever have worth?

When Arthur woke that night, summoned to consciousness by the scent of food, the entity tried again. Is it because you thought your life had meaning? he said as Arthur desperately ate dinner, pot roast left over from the rich man’s table.

“All lives do,” Arthur said.

Oh, please. No, said the entity, trying for patience. Mortal lives don’t. They’re over so fast; anything they do fades away, like flowers in a field. Only the immortal have purpose.

Arthur laughed around a mouthful of cold carrots and potato. “Wrong. That makes their purpose more important than any stupid immortal ideals.”

Right. So. Arthur wasn’t stupid, but maybe he was insane. Explain that. Now.

“Think about it,” said Arthur between swallows. “Say you’ve got limited time; a mortal life. You don’t have eternity to correct your fucking mistakes, or research the best path forward. You have to find meaning, and what you do with it matters because it’s your only chance. No do-overs. That makes every individual life absolutely precious. Unique. You talk about flowers, but I’ll bet you appreciate ones that bloom rarely and briefly. Morning Glories, all around.” He licked the plate.

The entity fell silent again.

Arthur felt around where the plate had been. “Is there any more?”

The entity stayed silent. Was he inspired? Insulted? He didn’t know. This damned human kept making him feel things he had no words for.

“Please, fuck, is there any more?”

No.

Arthur sighed. “Well. Thanks anyway.” He lay back down.

His clothing hung on him as if he’d stolen it from a man twice his width. Purpose or not, this mortal body couldn’t survive much longer, and that was concerning. Larson had been right; they didn’t know what would happen to him , to all that remained of the King in Yellow, when Arthur died. 

The entity did not want to die. Your body is failing. You know that, don’t you?

“Yes.” Soft. 

You want a purpose? Meaning? Let me go, Arthur Lester. Larson said you can.

Arthur wiped his mouth. “No.”

The entity growled. Why the hell not?

“He’d fuck you up.”

What the hell was this? What?

“I know men like him,” Arthur said, rough like steel wool. “He said you’re severed . Even if he got you back, you wouldn’t be what he wanted. He doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice other people for power; that’s why we tracked him down. What in fuck do you think he’ll do to you when you’re helpless in his hands?”

(A nightmare. This was a nightmare. Oh, he’d keep Arthur once he got his body back, oh yes, and Arthur would regret. )

What will he do? What will he do? He’ll worship me , is what he’ll do!

“No, he won’t,” said Arthur. “If I let you go, I’m condemning you. So fucking forget it.”

Madness! You’re insane!

Arthur said nothing.

Stubbornness! Is that your purpose, then? Being insane?

Arthur snorted. “Sure.”

Sarcasm, the entity scoffed. Then what is your oh-so-important purpose, you disgusting mortal man?

“Helping people,” said Arthur at once.

Hel… ping… w… you… why?

“ Why? What kind of… because they need it!” said Arthur.

It made no sense! No one is coming to help you.

“It isn’t transactional, for fuck’s sake.” Arthur sighed.

Lunacy! It’s not?

“We help people because it's right. We help people because it’s good. We help each other because it makes us better than animals, because it's our choice to act in the face of selfishness.” Arthur’s voice caught.

But no one is coming to help you, the entity said again, because two and two were making orange.

“What does that have to do with how I choose to act?”

The entity fell silent again.

Arthur curled on the wooden board that was his bed.

Arthur.

“What?”

The entity couldn’t believe he was doing this. There’s… an apple. You missed it. It rolled toward the door.

Arthur gasped and crawled for it. “Where? Where?”

To your right. Just… there.

Arthur didn’t bother trying to clean it (between his skin and his clothes, the floor was probably cleaner). He bit deep. He groaned.

The entity was quiet.

Tears slid down Arthur’s cheeks. “Thank you.” He took another bite. Another groan. More tears. He ate the whole thing except for the stem, then crawled back to his board and curled up, licking his fingers to get the last of the lingering flavor.

It didn’t make sense. It didn’t add up. It didn’t… You… you’re welcome.

Arthur said nothing, and the entity was glad. Darkness came for them both, and the entity braced himself for the interminable boredom of mortal sleep.

(chapter two) (masterpost)

-------

Notes:

Read the accompanying chapter of It May Not Be Much Light here!

[midorishinji]

Disappearing act - chapter XIII

Geto observed her more carefully, trying to decide whether she was being serious or not. — Killing non-sorcerers? — It's an option, but I don't take it seriously. Do you? — Yuki pressed him with a loaded question. Suguru Geto thought of them all — Shoko, Nanami, Haibara, Riko, Kuroi, his parents, Satoru — and his chest filled with an unbearable pain, but also an incredibly monumental love, so much that it felt like it would stretch and burst at the seams of his heart that could not contain it. He thought of his father again, reading him "Night on the Galactic Railroad" when he was young, and he thought of Satoru reading his own copy now during his leisure nights. He thought of Giovanni and Campanella, and of the Scorpio of the night sky, and of the nobility of sacrifice, of setting yourself on fire to warm the world.

Satosugu ｜Finalized｜Long fic｜Also being published in Portuguese and on AO3

Chapters: I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII - XIII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII

Chapter XIII: it's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment

A week of forced vacation. Boredom had pushed Satoru to the limits of sanity: he had met his sleep quota for the year, played more sports than ever before, trained against every student at Jujutsu High until he got sick of it, finished every video game he had ever bought and hadn't played yet due to lack of time, and he even had started cooking as a hobby — and, to everyone's surprise, he turned out to be a good baker — and none of that could make him feel more comfortable with the abundant spare time he had.

Suguru had convinced him to read some of his books, and he devoured entire classic collections quickly, discussing the meaning of Natsume Souseki's symbolism in the most irritatingly pedantic way a person could. Nanami had tried to help him by offering to teach him how to play chess, a hobby that initially was challenging for Satoru, at least until he learned the most common moves and openings and became a competent chess player. Shoko hid inside the infirmary whenever he was around, because normally a visit from Gojo meant an entire afternoon discussing some sensationalist medical story full of half-truths that he found in some sketchy magazine, and that she would have to explain and demystify until they arrived at a reasonable truth. Haibara had initially taken advantage of his willingness to train, but Satoru's brutal pace and the difference in power levels between a grade two and a special grade sorcerer caused Shoko to have more work than ever, and she eventually banned this pastime.

If he couldn't do anything constructive, it could only mean he had a good opportunity to annoy others. The biggest victims, Megumi and Tsukimi Fushiguro and Mimiko and Nanako Hasaba, didn't think about saying no to the fancy impromptu day trips, but they were busy with their own school routines — and Suguru, like a good responsible person, forbade Gojo from taking them out of school to go to a maid café or to buy manga in Akihabara. Professor Yaga, who gave Satoru this punishment, avoided him and his incessant complaints and requests to be given some task, any task at all: after all, Satoru really was serious about carrying out any chore, including cleaning the floor of the sports court with a toothbrush, because boredom was consuming his brain. Another victim of his antics was the poor social worker who handled the case of the four children, at Masamichi's request, and who was reminded daily by phone call that Satoru Gojo would turn eighteen on December 7th, and that she better have the adoption papers prepared until then.

Suguru Geto quickly understood why Gojo spent all his salary: he had absolutely zero self-control, and gave in to any impulse to buy without thinking twice. Shopping filled his time, so Geto didn't mind paying for the mangas, video games, books, DVDs, and all kinds of crap Gojo felt like buying; action figures? Sure; a new lamp? No problem; a giant mirror for his bedroom? Go ahead and pick. Suguru tried to convince himself that it was just guilt for getting Satoru into this mess where they both ended up without a salary, but he couldn't help but feel a certain indescribable pleasure by spoiling him rotten, not when he saw Satoru smile so brightly because he bought a limited edition of a sticker album of his favorite anime.

It was a Friday, and the activity that occupied Gojo's mind since early morning was organizing a pre-birthday movie marathon — the creation of the “pre-birthday” concept had also been one of his ideas. He had spent the day convincing Shoko, Nanami and Haibara to participate in the film session in the dorm's common room and won them over with his insistence and enthusiasm. That was where the five Jujutsu High students were now, trying to choose their first movie.

No one agreed with any of the presented options, of course.

Shoko likes slasher horror films, but Haibara’s afraid of blood. Nanami likes thrillers and documentaries, but no one likes watching something that requires thinking this late at night, except for Geto. Haibara suggested a comedy movie and got hit with all the couch cushions at once. Satoru suggested an action movie, and Nanami answered by saying that he would rather go to sleep. Suguru then came up with the idea of a cinema classic, something that everyone knows and likes, and that was a democratic swoop: the idea pleased everyone, although no one agreed on which classic they should see.

— But what about “Grease”? — Satoru said, with the DVD in hand.

— Is it a musical? I hate musicals. — Kento grumbled — If someone started singing in front of me for no reason, I would probably commit a crime just to get out of it.

Gojo put the DVD away, taking another one from the shelf, without letting himself be shaken. — So what about “Saturday Night Fever”? This isn't a musical, it just has music...

— Why do all of your suggestions involve John Travolta? — Shoko asked.

He shrugged. — Ah, Suguru likes his films.

The comment went unnoticed by the others, but Geto quickly changed the subject. — I like the guy, but it doesn't matter to me, it doesn't need to be one of his films. How about “The Godfather”? It's a trilogy, even, we could watch all three...

— Huh… I still vote for “Silence of the Lambs”. — Shoko said.

Haibara was against it. — Too much blood, yikes. Let’s see something light-hearted, like “Titanic”! Or “Romeo and Juliet”, or “Love Letter”...

This time, it was Satoru who was against it: — But “Love Letter” is so sad…! You know what, that’s enough, let's watch “Back to the Future” like I said ten minutes ago and that's it. — he said, taking the DVD of the American film out of the shelf and putting it inside the DVD player. As the only one still standing, he turned off the lights and sat down on the couch, next to Suguru, tired of being the mediator in the arguments. The opening credits rolled while the audience watched, silently.

(...)

The third film of the night, “Silence of the Lambs,” was playing on the television at low volume. After Nanami was the first to sleep, still halfway through the second film, and soon after Haibara also fell asleep, and Shoko felt free to choose what she wanted, considering that the other people awake were precisely the least demanding. Despite this, she had left the room to have a late-night snack, even though the film continued playing, halfway through.

— Hey. — Suguru whispered, getting closer to Gojo — Since when do you watch romance movies, Satoru?

— Me? Nah, I don’t watch them. — the other replied, putting a handful of buttered popcorn in his mouth.

— But you said “Love Letter” is sad, how do you know then?

— Oh, it's because I’ve watched that one. — Satoru said, drawing a sigh of frustration from Geto — But it was Utahime's thing. She wanted to watch something, and she only watches romance movies, and she picked this one.

Geto raised one of his eyebrows. — And when was that?

— Last year, during the school event with Kyoto, don't you remember? It was the day you went out to visit some museums, or whatever. The two of us stayed back at Kyoto High.

— Oh.

Silence.

Suddenly, Satoru Gojo opened a huge grin of pure amusement. — Wait a minute... Are you jealous of Utahime? Is that right?

Geto seemed insulted by that insinuation: of course not! Why should he be jealous, anyway? Satoru was free to do whatever he wanted, with whomever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and that included watching romantic movies with a girl; and, knowing Iori Utahime as he did (a person who liked to appear tough, but who actually had a soft heart), he was also free to offer his shoulder for her to cry on... And, knowing Satoru Gojo as he did, he knew that he wouldn't offer just the damn shoulder. What a miserable little… — Of course not, that’s bullshit… — Suguru replied, whispering between his teeth, feeling his facial muscles become more tense and locking his jaw in a tight position, even without meaning to.

The reaction only increased the almost childish amusement Gojo felt. — Really? Doesn't seem like it.

— You’re reading too much into it. I'm just thinking of how Utahime could handle spending an entire afternoon with you, considering you're insufferable. — Geto said, being careful not to raise his voice. The more he talked, the more he realized how clear it was that he was jealous of Satoru, and that was ridiculous, he shouldn't feel like that. Biting his tongue, he stopped himself from speaking any further to avoid showing how he truly felt.

— Just like you enjoy spending time with me. — Satoru teased him, sticking out his tongue — By the way, why don't we watch “Love Letter” then, the two of us? Another day, not today because it's already pretty late.

Suguru didn't want to give in, even if he was interested. — What is it about, anyway?

— It's the story of this girl, Hiroko, who loses her fiancé in an accident in the mountains. On the anniversary of his death, she finds his old address in his high school yearbook so she sends a letter to that address, and receives a reply. But she doesn't know that the person who responded is the girl her fiancé was in love with at the time, who coincidentally also had the same name and surname as her fiancé, Itsuki Fujii, and she doesn't even know that this Itsuki girl is identical in appearance to her. They continue exchanging letters about the guy they both loved, and… — Gojo interrupted himself — I won't tell you the rest either, otherwise I'll just spoil everything.

— Let’s watch it then. — Geto agreed.

—But just the two of us. It's pretty sad, so if you end up crying, I’ll understand... — Satoru said, very diplomatically.

Suguru Geto realized that perhaps he had misjudged him... Maybe it wasn't Utahime who burst into tears over a movie, but a certain idiot who was more sensitive than he liked to let on, and who never talked about romance or love because he kept everything to himself. — Right… You're funny, Satoru. Have you ever fallen in love with someone, by the way?

— I have.

The answer, short and honest, resonated in the room for a few seconds.

— When I watched that movie with Utahime, I was pretty weirded out for a while, thinking about it... Because either you stay with the first person you fell in love with, or you spend the rest of your life looking for them in other people. I think that’s kind of scary. — Satoru said, eyes focused on the film.

Geto swallowed hard, wondering if that was true. The more he thought about the type of person he liked, the more he realized he had a very, very specific type, and that revelation was like a punch to his stomach.

— But what about you, Suguru? Have you ever fallen in love with someone?

Before he could answer the question, Shoko returned to the room, carrying a plate with a sandwich, and that was enough to end the matter definitively. Geto mentally thanked Shoko's unexpected return, because it stopped him from having to answer that yes, he was in love with someone, and he was trying to confront that feeling inside him.

[onewomancitadel]

B/S versus W/J paralleling anon again!

Sorry for the lack of line breaks last time. My worst vice is forgetting the return key exists. 😵‍💫 I appreciate the thoughtful response in any case!

And. Since you asked. (TL;DR It’s towers all the way down, to me. Also I have zero of the fandom-standard villain->hero / enemies-to-lovers hangups because I like when characters undergo foundational change.)

I don’t feel like I needed to be convinced, honestly? Except insofar as the narrative had to set the pieces up that way. Coming to the story fairly late (after V8 wrapped, so I watched all of that in one go) and being insulated from the people who are… weird… about Jaune probably helped rhghjk

My interest in RWBY is very thematically oriented—I actually wouldn’t quibble at all that the romantic arcs are key thematic centerpieces, I think that’s absolutely true. I’m just not very romantically inclined myself, in general, so fictional romance isn’t something I get the giddy, like, dollies kissing! kind of excited for normally. The flip side of that is as long as it’s narratively compelling and the characters are interesting I’m a pretty easy sell as far as willingness to believe a romantic arc.

What *grips* me in a story is like, emotional paradigm shifts, dynamic self-image—especially in relation to family identity and definition of the self apart from one’s family. V9 has been VERY FUN for me, lol.

So my focus, with RWBY, tilts more toward the breaking and healing of parent-child bonds, whether personal (Summer + Ruby) or narrative (creators + creations). I tend to read the romantic arcs in that context. I guess a succinct way to put it would be to say I’m thinking about Ozlem in terms of Salem’s eternal exile being a second tower Ozma has been unhappily conscripted into guarding? And the point of the story ultimately is to Get Her Out Of The Tower But For Real This Time, and in the same stroke save him from being her warden.

What twigged me to Jaune/Cinder is the fractal repetition of their family situations. He has this family legacy he feels quite burdened by and feels compelled to uphold it (imitate it) even as it runs contrary to his actual self—he is not a warrior—meanwhile Cinder has only ever known family as a means of control and intends to escape the control by emulating the means.

Then they’re connected by her killing of Pyrrha, who drew out the Arc stuff in the first place and facilitated his emulation of his forefathers by training him. Then Jaune vs Cinder in V5 foreshadows the Ozlem fight in V6 and suggests the shape of that connection. & Jaune has this baked-in empathy for the feeling of being in a tower (stuck in a tree, funny how that’s coming full circle right as he confronts the brittleness of his simulated heroism).It does rather announce itself.

What grips me in a story is like, emotional paradigm shifts, dynamic self-image

See, because what's interesting to me in this case is that this is exactly what I'd describe romance as, and I prefer it over genetic family relations because it's something which exists outside a given scenario you're born into. This is the Pride & Prejudice, Jane Eyre type shit for me. And no net ensares me. This is totally paradigm-shift type stuff because it's outside everything you thought you knew.

So basically you're saying you identified Jaune/Cinder like, on your own terms, and then you found my blog? Am I gathering that correctly? Because if so, first of all, well fucking done (not trying to gas myself up here, just most people who send asks on the matter have done so because they found my blog or my fanfic pre-Knightfall). Second of all, that's crazy, because you've approached it on your own terms, and third of all, I'm so interested to hear from someone not inoculated in the fandom. I've been in the trenches since Volume 1, so the show has really transformed for me over time.

I personally didn't twig Jaune/Cinder until the end of V7, when I was near-certain Cinder's redemption arc was set-up and the story was taking her character seriously. I had speculated upon it since the end of V3/beginning of V4, but never seriously considered it to be that emotionally sincere and thoughtful lol. As you say, the fandom was and is pretty inhospitable. Frankly you're probably lucky you missed out on it, but more importantly, I'm fascinated with your experience because you clearly have a textual grip on the matter.

I think what you're describing here about intergenerational inheritance is thematically critical to the story, but I think what's forgotten in a lot of fandom spaces is that romance is a building block of family too. People get married and have babies. Ozlem got married and had babies. Obviously I care about the marriage and babies bit, but it's not like a stork dropped Ruby out of the sky (and to be honest, I want to know what's up with the team STRQ love affairs). So I suppose I'm sort of like, curious about the false binary on the matter (and I'm for a model of romance which is like... reciprocal, unconditional, non-transactional and not forced, obviously). I do agree though, I'm a huge fan of the V9 development with Ruby in particular - I might be coming at it with a slightly different angle from you, in that Ruby's awakening to spiritual aridity (and basically outright confirmation this is her Heroine's Journey) is something I personally oscillate with, and the false image of her mother is one she actually needs to break. If we get Jungian here, Summer as Ruby's persona is very potent to me, especially if Grimm!Summer Rose theory proves true. (Your mummy comes back in the worst way possible, the truth of the situation is really painful as the illusion is broken, but that is the only way to grow up).

I think what you've outlined here with Jaune and Cinder's family backgrounds is influential to the pairing, but it's not all of it in my opinion, but it is interesting that it motivated your interest - I can definitely see what are the things you find valuable in storytelling influencing your interpretation here. I think what you've described with Jaune here is my exact issue with Jaune/Weiss, though. In the past I described what my issue is with a potential Weiss love interest; frankly the boy is simply not a good arranged match and is unmarriageable to another great house. The last thing his character needs is to join a different family weighted legacy. So in this way, I think Jaune and Cinder 'meet in the middle' on this matter, as they do with everything else. If the ideas here are intentional, it's actually quite clever. Because in this sense, Cinder needs to get out from her magical evil stepmother/godmother's thumb, and so does Jaune, and they need to get married and have babies.

I know what you mean though; I do think there is a difference between you and I in the sense that I can readily write tens of thousands of words about Jaune and Cinder falling in love with each other, which is a genuinely different experience from wanting to see Ruby's relationship with her mother evolve. But by the same stroke, I enjoy all that stuff too, especially in unusual places like with Raven (the Mother of the triple goddess cycle) in respect to Cinder (a well and proper Maiden) and Qrow and Winter. Anyway, I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, because really, you're fluffing up my ego with this 'I don't ship it but I see it' business.

I don't mean to sound weird but you said 'it's towers all the way down'; I tagged a Reverse Ozlem post this like, a year or so ago. So that's some interesting memetic repetition. (I'm not saying you're copying/referencing me, I mean this in a sort of vaguely mystical way lolololol). Because yes, I do feel the Ozlem story is basically fundamental to understanding the reincarnating/repeating pattern of the show, and this is even true outside of Jaune/Cinder itself and to do with the other canon romances. I really like how you've described the Ozlem relationship here, actually; I feel like you get it.

So that is... very interesting to me. My goodness. Very enlightening indeed.

Then they’re connected by her killing of Pyrrha, who drew out the Arc stuff in the first place and facilitated his emulation of his forefathers by training him.

Yes, yes that's exactly it. That's why Pyrrha is another persona (false self), and this is especially why the sequence of Penny -> Pyrrha -> Weiss all hurting him just in this past episode is puzzling me. These are all false images, attached to a false sense of who he is, which are assaulting him. Cinder killing Pyrrha symbolically frees Jaune of this weight but it's deeply and profoundly painful (and on a broader scale, the death of Pyrrha is the death of innocence and childhood, and then you've got the fact it makes the Fall of Beacon personal to one character who's meant to have a major connection to Cinder?). But then she forces him to kill Penny, which is even further brutal development, and now he's retreated to Weiss, which again he is dispelled away from.

The problem is that I want to analyse this on terms of character development and narrative consequences, but you can't really get past 'but she's evil for killing Pyrrha :( Jaune should kill Cinder :(', and it makes the matter rather boring. So I really enjoy the opportunity of getting to interact with someone who fuckinggggg getsssss it and I don't have to censor myself speaking about the narrative. Again: I've been in this fandom on and off for too long and I've seen it all. As bad as you think it was, imagine worse. Most of the fandom has been filled with 'Pyrrha is Jaune's tragic lost love and they should be together forever and ever' for years and years, if not 'Weiss is the replacement goldfish/Ruby is the replacement goldfish/something something', and so say, with the appearance of Pyrrha this volume my stomach's in the floor because eventually you start to wonder if the chorus is right.

But on textual terms that he is literally harmed by false images is pretty on the nose.

Regarding the V5/V6 Ozlem parallel, yeah that is the clincher for me personally with the ship. Reverse Ozlem itself is what I think to be the motivating factor (here's a recent post I made about the potential in which it can evolve as), so I'm glad you picked up on that bit too because as much as I care about all the other influences (see: my masterpost) I only take those as seriously as I do because of the Ozlem matter. Like, you know, Rhodopis (proto-Cinderella) marrying Sappho's (Sapphron's) brother. That one is so fucking weird, I really can't believe it.

I appreciate this follow-up a lot, it's really fascinating for me to hear your thoughts and I think you have a lot of interesting things to say. Really, a true joy. Also, thank you for the paragraph breaks, that really saved me and I appreciate it a lot. <3 I hope you have a good one, and please stop by again.

(Original post being referenced).

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Romanced Danse, Maccready, and Gage being jealous? (F!sole please)

R! Danse, MacCready, and Gage Jealousy Headcannons

Thank you so much for the ask, anon! These were super fun to consider, and if you want to see any other characters at all, just let me know! :) Enjoy!

Danse (post BB):

First and foremost, Danse trusts Sole. If he didn't absolutely believe that she would be faithful to him, he wouldn't be in a relationship with her in the first place. Honesty and respect are his most valued assets in a soldier, and when it comes to relationships, there isn't much of a difference as far as the importance of these traits is concerned.

That being said, he's spent enough time in settlements, bars, and the Brotherhood to know that his trust for her isn't the only factor in play when it comes to being in an exclusive relationship. Even though his trust in Sole is secure, the same absolutely cannot be said for any one of the folks who tend to pay attention to her.

When it comes to absolute sleazeballs hitting on his beloved without a shred of respect for her, Danse has a problem. He will stand close to his love, likely touching her in some obvious way (planting a kiss to her lips, bringing one large arm to rest over her shoulders, keeping his hand clasped around her waist, you get the idea) whilst glowering at whomever decided it would be a good idea to disrespect her. If some such degenerate decides to touch her in any way, without Sole's consent, it's game over. He'll start by berating the assaulter verbally, and if that doesn't dissuade them, he'll turn unapologetically physical, gruffly pulling them away from Sole. He might try shoving them or even go so far as to strike them if they attempt to resist his redirection away from his partner. Danse has absolutely zero tolerance for disrespectful people, especially when it comes to Sole.

However, if the one paying attention to Sole was a respectable person who seemed genuine (think Preston-type individuals), a bout of internal conflict might render the ex-paladin motionless. He would allow the interaction to ensue, not necessarily because he didn't care, but because he felt as though, if Sole thought they could potentially have a relationship with this person, he should be the one to step down. In the aftermath of his crippling identity crisis, Danse would feel completely unworthy of Sole's affection, causing him to entertain the thought of her finding someone more suitable to share her life with. In Danse's eyes, he was unable to provide the kind of future he desired for Sole, but if this new person could give her a happy life, a life where she wouldn't be chained to the restrictions that came with him being a synth, well… who was he to deny her that?

Should this be the case, Sole will need to provide some MAJOR reassurance for her partner, pulling him from the harsh torrent of self depreciation raging in his mind. Soft words of consolation, gentle touches that reaffirm her willingness to be intimate with him despite what he is, and setting her attention solely on him will likely be able to pry him from his ruthless stint of self-loathing.

When it all comes down to it, Danse just wants the one he loves so dearly to be happy. If that means moving on to be with someone who could provide her with a better future than he could, so be it. He will support her choice. But if it means remaining with him despite all of his shortcomings? Danse will fully dedicate every waking moment to Sole the way he once devoted his life to the Brotherhood. She would become his new mission, every day, for the remainder of his existence. And with his devotion to her, comes his trust. If Sole assured him that he's what she wants, then he won't need to struggle with the loss of self control that occurs when jealousy rears its ugly head. He'll just push it out of his mind as Sole squeezes his hand reassuringly, or rests her head against his shoulder, or wraps her arm around his waist in return, reassuring him that he is the one that makes her happy.

Gage: 

He gets it. He understands that Sole likes to be social, that she has to make appearances as the Overboss, has to speak to the other raiders, has to mingle, and converse, and drink, and engage in these forms of raider debauchery. But if any of these assholes think it'll go further than that, that they have any right to hit on, flirt with, or lay a single fucking finger on his Sole, they've got another thing coming. 

Gage wouldn't mind hanging back, sipping idly on a nuka-cola, keeping his good eye trained on Sole as he does his own mingling with his fellow raiders, but if any of the aforementioned actions are taken against his woman, he won't hesitate to crush someone's throat, or blacken an eye, bruise a jaw, or even leave a gash across their belly with a well-placed combat knife if they really push him too far. Afterwards, he would gaze out across the room, meeting the eyes of every potential offender and challenging them to just try him. From then on, he might be a bit more attentive to his partner, remaining by her side for the rest of the night, a strong arm pulling her to press against him as they move throughout the room.  

(a bit of NSFW ahead) If this sort of instance occurs more than once in one night, and if it appears at all that Sole is interested in any of the potential suitors, Gage will be sure to remind Sole what he can do for her; drawing her aside to tell her just how much she means to him, and what he has planned for them later in the evening, when they’re finally alone. He’ll pull her into him, engaging in a heated, passion-fueled make out session in a secluded corner of the room, a preview of what’s surely to come later, as he presses Sole flush against the nearest wall, running his hands over her until she's a blushing, gasping, disgruntled mess who can only yearn to be in the confines of his embrace behind closed doors. There, the raider would do his level best to ensure Sole can't remember any name but his own as he fucks her senseless, pleasuring her well beyond the threshold of her release as her mind turns into mush from the relentless fierceness of his love. 

So, when it comes to jealousy, Gage tends to take a physical approach from the start, using the assholes that somehow think they could ever deserve to be with Sole as an excuse to blow off some steam… and to make a show of the vicious passion he has for his Sole, proving to her that there's no one out there who could love her more intensely than he does now.

MacCready:

The merc would have a glower on his face and his arms crossed firmly over his chest before Sole even noticed that they were being flirted with. Despite himself, MacCready couldn’t help but revert back to some of his more childish tendencies in the wake of the emotion that would encase him. Though his mouth couldn’t very well follow suit, his brain would be spewing a slew of creative profanities aimed at the one Sole had their attention trained on. 

He knows how Sole is, she’s friendly, and personable, and approachable, and he wasn’t really any of those things, so it’s hard for him to use that as a justification for all of the attention she gets. He would just see the glint in the eyes of all who approached her, the little touches they would try to plant on her that she would hardly seem to notice, but that MacCready couldn’t keep his eyes off of. If it got out of hand, to the point where Sole seemed uncomfortable, MacCready would step in, his loud, offensive mouth expelling his version of expletive utterances directly into the face of Sole’s offender. Should this person show any sign of resistance to MacCready’s clear indication for them to leave Sole the frick alone, he wouldn’t hesitate to get violent. Despite his smaller frame, MacCready is scrappy as hell, and relentless when it comes to Sole, but if this still isn’t enough to deter them, the merc would just love to demonstrate his true talents for them. He’d draw his rifle and see how long they decided to stick around, maybe firing a few warning shots in their direction for good measure. 

At first, after the instance occurs, MacCready might be quite short with Sole. Clearly showing her his displeasure at her actions if it seemed like she didn’t mind the attention she was getting. He’d give her the silent treatment before finally giving in and, in a surge of resentful emotion, he might say some things he will later regret; asking her heatedly if he’s really what she wants, if she had meant to hurt him, if she enjoyed making him feel so small, and so unseen. MacCready has a hard time seeing why Sole would want to be with him at all, knowing full well that she deserves better than some scruffy little rapacious mercenary. His own self-consciousness and doubt would be the epicenter of his quaking temper directed at her, and once he realized that his own feelings of insecurity was where his anger was stemming from, he’d feel pretty shitty about treating Sole badly. So, soon after his outburst, MacCready would find himself regretting his words and looking instead to comfort Sole, as he came to the realization that she would never try to make him feel that way on purpose. He would approach slowly, looking shamefully down at his feet, and would apologize to her, asking her delicately why she was paying attention to that other person when he was there with her. Once she explained the situation, he would actually be quick to forgive her. Every once in a while, Sole will have to sit down with her companion and reassure him that he is what she wants, as this uncertainty on MacCready’s part will never really go away. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t return the favor, constantly complimenting his love, telling her what she means to him as often as he can, finding flowers, treats, or little trinkets around the Commonwealth that he can gift to her just to remind her that she is loved so dearly by the man she’s with. 

However… if Sole’s harmless flirting tends to get the pair discounts from certain vendors, MacCready miiiiiiiight be willing to let it slide.

Deacon

[flowerflamestars]

Let's ask the hard questions here, baby. What do you think the series would have been like had it been Nesta Archeron under the mountain?

BABE this is it-this is the best question I’ve ever been asked. 

For one thing, chaotic. For another: I think the simple substitution reframes the whole structure of the narrative. It’s not about a journey to power that fights Evil Tyranny (abused Human to Hero to High Lady).

It’s a story about the people working around, beside, under the powerful Lords- and the difficult choices they make. Less Hero’s Journey more, Look, These Are the Real Heroes.

Let’s start with Spring. We know now that the whole you killed a faery now you have to come to faeryland thing was an insanely shitty ruse. So maybe Andras is still alive. Maybe Feyre killed him and Nesta successfully protected her sisters. Maybe Tamlin is just a twat and went that one is pretty. ANYWAY-

Nesta gets to Spring. Lucien doesn’t immediately despise her, for, you know, murdering and skinning his only friend (a handy sublimation of the anger he can’t express against his High Lord). Nesta was raised in the fucking gentry and Nesta can play the game- it’s a question of willingness.

Feyre is a lot more willing to roll with weird circumstances for caution.  Nesta is, to her bones, an aggressor. Empty manor doesn’t add up? She’s going to say something so cutting, and so infuriating to Tamtam she ends up seeing all the faeries. She steels herself, refuses to be afraid of Alis, and asks questions. (See, Nesta’s first IC dinner, zeroing in on the scariest faery and refusing to flinch)

At some point, there’s a confrontation. 

But it’s not between Nesta and Tamlin. Now, in canon Tamtams is extremely willing to drag his feet on the curse. In this version, that is so much worse- sure, he’s into Nesta (Nesta, recall, just looks like sharper Feyre), but Nesta takes one look at this fragile immortal man child and roasts the shit out of him. What’s he going to do? Kill her? Negates all the stupid trouble he went to. Punish her? He clearly needs her for something.

Tamlin cannot handle that. There are no Romantic Moments. Nes spends calanmai watching faeries do weird shit out her window. She sure as fuck doesn’t drink faery wine and dance for Tamlin at the solstice. It is not happening.

 So Nesta spends a lot of time alone, wandering around. Talking to Lucien, Alis, random-ass faeries out of sheer reckless ego, reading every book in the ugly manor.

Nesta confronts Lucien. I’m going to go with after the wingless dead faerie and the head in the garden. The stupid blight conversation.

This works differently and better than Feyre’s attempts to get more information for I think, two important reasons. 1) Lucien and Nesta speak the same language in acotar. It’s all anger babes- sharp edged, sexy, bullshit. There’s no cycle of forgiveness then softening- they are the same, too the same, tired and self-hating survivalists bored out of their minds in a gilded death trap. 

and 2) Nesta and Feyre are quintessentially perceived differently. Feyre is hopeful- tenacious, young, free. She shakes up things for these old ass faeries and gives them something to believe in. It’s youth for the eternally young. 

Nesta...is not that. She gets under your skin, forever. Multiple faeries meet her throughout the books and have very extreme reactions to that- but what matters at this point, as a mortal- Nesta reads as an adult. She’s immune to glamour. Her strength isn’t kindness or an open heart, it’s fucking steel that might take your last breathe.

And look, Lucien would respond to that. Tamlin...isn’t even talking to the girl his people died to get him. The curse is almost over and they’re all going to get tortured. Nesta, has, from day one, known something is wrong- she’s so angry, and it makes it easier for Lucien to be angry.

It’s not hunting bros who become Real Friends, it’s fire and gasoline. Empowerment.

So, I haven’t read acotar in ages- but I’m pretty sure they literally couldn’t tell her about Tamlin’s curse. But Lucien can communicate around the magical fuckery- there’s a great evil. The kids in Winter are all dead because of another High Lord. 

And look, Nesta cares about dead kids. She even, begrudgingly, cares about Lucien. She does not give a single flying fuck about the High Lords.

But Lucien, in this world, is the first one to say it: Hybern. 

Amarantha is Hybern’s general, and Hybern wants all of Prythian. All of it. 

Nesta is absolutely going to walk into the fire to keep the humans- and by extent, her sisters- safe from faeries. 

Tamlin- because he does not love Nesta- doesn’t send her away. Doesn’t crush any savage hope Lucien harbored, doesn’t do shit. He gives up.

And so Spring is dragged beneath the Mountain.

Nesta has exactly two advantages on her side: she can see through glamour, so she’s not 100% disoriented and vulnerable (just..you know, terrified), and sheer force of will.

Amarantha likes will. She likes to break it, and there are so few real contenders left after her victory. 

Nesta doesn’t bargain- Nesta doesn’t beg for Tamlin’s life and love- she asks to win her own. 

Amarantha wants to crush her like a bug. Insignificant little human- but wouldn’t it be more fun to watch each little crack form?

So she gets the riddle. Tamlin’s power is thrown in like the boring chekovs gun that it is. Lucien (probably) gets beat up because Lucien always gets beat up under the Mountain. 

Nesta has two choices: she can answer the (stupidly cliched, easy) riddle right there, and try to walk out. (Nesta knows she’s not making it out alive). Or she can wait, and play the game. (She’ll be damned if she doesn’t take that insane bitch and maybe Tamlin down with her. Her only ally is Lucien and he’s being hauled off with a bleeding headwound soo..)

Nesta lets herself be dragged away. She doesn’t fight. 

Let us remember again, that the Archeron sisters are built like a triptych. A presumable almost mother maiden crone. They look alike, especially Nesta and Feyre. If Rhysie boy thinks Feyre is hot at first glance, guess what he also thinks about Nesta?

So, yes, of course he goes to offer a deal. And let’s be clear on something- when Feyre hated Rhysands guts, what did he like about her? That she was beautiful, absolutely didn’t give a fuck, and what’s that? Fought with him.

She lets him heal her, but then- Nesta won’t even talk to him. Nothing he does works. They come to agreement (which Rhysand finds fascinating, a human with loyalty, that human heart) that Nesta will listen to Rhysand’s offer if and when, he delivers to her a whole, safe, Lucien Vanserra.

Rhys frames this as emotional torture. Incentive. He doesn’t need to play evil as well- Nesta hates fucking faeries. And she knows he killed a bunch of children. 

So Lucien gets thrown in the cell. Minimally healed. About to embark on the misery train, self-deprecating laughter at the fact he’s healed, now, because of Nesta. 

Lucien: so nice of you to make sure we’re all pretty before we die, Archeron. Final night spent huddling for warmth together?

Nesta: Shut up. Shut up- tell me why the fuck Rhysand would be trying to make a deal with me.

They come to the conclusion that, while Rhysand is a monster, he also has no control of his own. He’s completely under Amarantha’s thumb, and apparently, wants out.

Nesta, because she always goes for the jugular, has another thought: Are you really going to go back to Spring after this? He gave up. He gave up and you were rotting in a cell.

Lucien, to whom Nesta is both gasoline and mean friend catnip, but who is also a Sad Boi: where else can I go?

So they make a plan. Rhysand thinks Nesta is the key to killing Amarantha? Cool, Amarantha needs to die. Tamlin is the only High Lord who has access to his power more readily? Tamlin needs to do the killing. 

What does Nesta want? There to be no Hybern coming to burn the land where her sisters live. To go back, to go home- but Nesta doesn’t think, even for a second, she’s really going to make it out alive. And if she does, as she thinks late at night, of Feyre’s laugh, or Elain’s quiet humor- how will it ever be safe? They live on the Wall.

Nesta is known to faeries now- Nesta is infamous, and there’s nothing to stop anyone, should her presence lead them back to her home.

Nesta privately decides Tamlin should die too.

So when the time comes, and Rhysand is like, I’ll protect you, you’ll be mine and you’ll be healed- Nesta says no. Nesta, because she really has never learned to back down- looks dead in the eye of the High Lord of Night, the monster who sleeps beside Amarantha and says: safe passage.

She’ll do what Rhys wants, for this: Lucien Vanserra’s safe passage to a safe place, and for Rhysand to promise not to get in her way when she answers the riddle.

Rhys still wants her to come to the Night Court- for whatever nebulous reasons he wanted Feyre to...which only make sense AFTER she’s changed by the High Lords...which Rhysie couldn’t have known, BUT ANYWAY- Nesta says yes. She doesn’t expect she’ll be alive to pay.

Lucien sulks back to Tamlin’s side, and spends a few weeks between challenges laying it on thick. A quiet whisper that grows, a perfect stroke to Tamlin’s volatile ego. How dare Amarantha, how dare Nesta- Tamlin is a Lord, Tamlin is Spring- Tamlin, who has suffered so much more than the other Lords, deserves his power back. 

Nesta is dragged out for the final challenge.

In one of the long, dangerous hallways, her guards look the other way for just a moment- for a visitor. The High Lady of Autumn knows her son is safe because of this girl. 

She hands Nesta a knife. A small gift- all she can. Steel, not ash, small enough it will go unnoticed.

Nesta is dragged before the throne, before the High Lords, Tamlin and Amarantha, Rhysand.

Nesta answers the riddle.

And when Amarantha refuses to abide the rules- Tamlin, carefully manipulated without coordinating by both Rhys and Lucien, goes apeshit.

This does not stop Amarantha from hurting Nesta. The opposite- she’s trapped in the fight between them. When Amarantha does give Tamlin over the power, it doesn’t stop- unloved by even a human, and now she’d take any chance he’d had to win her as he really was.

Nesta doesn’t stab Amarantha. Nesta lays there, bleeding to death, biding her time.

Tamlin murders Amarantha. Rhysand doesn’t beg, but he’s there, getting growled at by Lucien as he tried to staunch Nesta’s wounds.

Amarantha dies, and Tamlin, glowing with power, makes his way to Nesta. They think he’s going to heal her- to try, but Tamlin is Tamlin, so he pulls her into his arms.

Nesta, who knows she’s going to die- Nesta, who was taken from her home, her family, deprived of her life by the choices of this man- Nesta lets Tamlin embrace her, the arrogant, stupid bastard, and stabs him in the throat.

It is the golden, desperate words of Lucien Vanserra that convince the High Lords to heal her. It is Rhysand who tries first, who gives the most. After all- Tamlin had been too selfish to try, and they’d all suffered for it. Faery justice: swift and bloody.

Nesta had died victorious. Nesta died with a bloody autumn court dagger in one hand and the grip of her only real friend in the other- but death was chaos. Skies and stars and howling wind, love and blood and war.

A thousand miles away, Cassian awoke screaming, clawing at his own chest.

She climbed through blood and battle, dreams and hope, floated to an infinite sky: and found herself alive.

Breathing, whole, an immortal monster. On her way to the Court of Night with Lucien by her side. 

[alwida10]

The tragedy of Loki of Asgard

Or why I think the Infinity War Loki should stay dead.

TW: suicide, depression, narcissistic behavior

To understand this essay you need some basic understanding of the family dynamic in Odins family. The dynamic is one of a narcistic parent who has a golden child he projects his own awesomeness onto and a scapegoat child . The parent ensures himself the support of the golden child and makes himself the very center of attention, which is what a narcisst tribes for. The golden child longs to remain golden child and refrains from criticism of the parent. The scapegoat child strives to finally get out of the scapegoat position by pleasing the parent. To bad the child can’t do so because it gets not the blame because it did something wrong but because there must always be someone to blame. Therefore possible explanations and things the parent presented as desirable aren’t really that. Now, a golden child sooner or later gets used to blame everything on the scapegoat. It might even learn to control the scapegoat by blaming him the same way the parent did (aka the scapegoat longs for positive attention/affirmation and therefore does everything the golden child wants him to).

Now, in Thor Ragnarok Odin says ‘I love you my sons’ before he dies, placing the two of them more or less on equal positions for the first time ever. (I know there can be good arguments made, but just let’s assume it’s possition zero they start at.)

Pretty soon both end up on Sakarr, Thor in prison, Loki in the Grandmasters favors. Loki visits Thor in prison, suggesting teaming up, even though it endangers his position (the Grandmaster could hear about it, Thor would probably claim the higher position etc.) At that moment Thor doesn’t have anything to offer. Yet, he stonewalls, blaming Loki for all bad that happened. (For a much more detailed spot -on analysis please read this post where @i-dreamed-i-had-a-son even correctly predicted Loki’s death).

The whole dynamic in the prison is Thor falling back into the old family dynamic. Only that Odin is dead now, and the position of the prime narcisst is open. Now, narcissm is often correlated with abusive behavior, as written in ‘why does he do that? - inside they mind of angry and controlling men’ by Lundy Bancroft. In another post I found many of the things she describes can be observed in Thor’s actions in Thor Ragnarok.

But let’s get finally come to the elevator scene which is the heart piece of my explanation. Remember – Loki is at this point starved for any affirmation or positive reaction by his family. After Thor rejected Loki’s plan, he accepted Loki joining his plan. Thor lures Loki by claiming they should talk right before they enter the elevator. For a starving person this is huge temptation. But Loki did live with his family for eons and is certainly aware of it being a trap.

Right from his first appearance in Thor 1 (before the coronation) we learn that Loki never lowers his guard when it comes to admitting feelings. In that scene he said he loved Thor but directly glossed it over with a joke. After all what happened in Thor 1, Avengers and TDW Loki would never let himself appear weak by outright asking if Thor does still hold any positive feelings mg a for him. So he uses reverse psychology (claiming something against your own wishes, hoping the other disagrees and thereby affirms you.)

LOKI: Here's the thing. I'm probably better off staying here on Sakaar.

The problem with reverse psychology is when the other person agrees with it, it hits you right where it hurts the most.

THOR: That's exactly what I was thinking.

LOKI: ...Did you just agree with me?

THOR: This place is perfect for you. It's savage, chaotic, lawless. Brother,you're going to do GREAT here.

Thor follows up by insulting Loki and pushing him away hard. Why? Because he knows Loki has nobody else to turn to. Even after TDW Loki returned to Asgard. For one part because he’s still loyal but certainly also for the lack of alternatives. And Asgard will always include Thor. Thor knows Loki won’t be able to leave him.

LOKI: Do you truly think so little of me?

Loki is hurt, obviously and it’s very much visible on his face. To make sure no blame can be laid open him, Thor uses gaslighting.

THOR: Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you're you, I'm me… I don't know, maybe there's still good in you, but let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.

Loki is wounded by Thor's willingness to discard him. But he masks his feelings.

LOKI: It's probably for the best that we never see one another again.

Thor pats Loki on the shoulder, placing the obidience disk. And this action proves that the manipulation on Thor’s part was intentional. Why else would he have done it? (Everyone claiming ‘Loki betrayed Thor endless times, please read this meta). Thor knew that by pushing Loki away hard enough he would trigger a desperate act of reactive aggression. He did so to push Loki back into his place (which is beneath him, as far Thor is concerned). As soon that has happened Thor gives his little self righteous speech.

THOR: Oh brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me. Round and round in circles we go. See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change.But you seem to just wanna stay the same. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.

Briefly summarized:

you suck, and I don’t think you’ll ever be worth my affection. If you want to try tho, here is your option.

Of course, to prove Thor wrong Loki is forced to resume his subservant position he had at the beginning of Thor 1. He can only ‘prove his worth’ by doing Thor’s bidding and supporting his plans. And that he does. He convinces kork and his crew to join him and brings them to Asgard where he receives his reward by Thor acknowledging him in a not-aggressive way. He even fulfills Thor’s plan, knowing that henceforth he will be blamed whenever someone remembers Asgard’s destruction. In Thor’s ‘coronation scene’ Loki stands at the side, behind the Valkyrie (yet, still at the right side. That surprised me, tbh. The ‘right hand of the King’ is a prestigious title and I didn’t believe TW would have allowed Loki that. But he’s still only second on Thor’s right.)

Anyway, Loki is back in the position he had in Thor 1 with a lot of added baggage and no Frigga to rant to when everything gets to bad. And then Thanos appears. Under Thanos Loki would suffer even more than under Thor (remember the Other’s ‘no barren moon..’ speach.) So basically he’s caught between two horrible fates.

Loki’s death scene itself has been criticized a lot and everyone knows the butterknive-discourse. It can only interpreted in two ways: either him being stupid or him being suicidal. Based on all written above and the fact that he already tried to commit suicide at the end of Thor 1, I can only believe the second to be true.

It has another point: Tom said Loki’s arc was finished. I was confused and unhappy about this statement, but now I am coming to piece with it. Tom loves Shakespeare, including Hamlet and Coriolanus. Those are tragedies. Tragedies are characterized by the protagonist being ruined because of a dramatic conflict that leaves him only two choices, one being death and one being worse. So perhaps this is his very own version of the tragedy of Loki of Asgard.

[dessarious]

This Isn’t Fiction

***This isn’t my normal post and maybe I shouldn’t deviate like this but honestly I think it needs to be put out there. Yes, I know I’m a hypocrite and you’ll understand why I say that if you read this but I want to warn everyone that this is just my personal thoughts on the world right now and my role in it. Some people may feel called out, and honestly they probably should. I wrote this to call myself out.*** I fully expect to lose followers over this and that's okay. This also isn’t going to become a normal occurrence. I just need to get this out where other people can see it. As messed up as it sounds I need people to understand this and I need to know people hold me accountable.

Morning Thoughts

So everyday I wake up to some new catastrophe or idiocy from those in power and it’s gotten to the point that you wonder if any of this is salvageable anymore. I live in the US so my tolerance for corruption and stupidity was pretty high before all this started but even those of us that were born into this society, this culture of division, hate, and apathy are starting to lose tolerance. The fact that so many of us can look at everything going on and feel so detached from everything and everyone around us is… honestly it’s frightening.

I know that shit sucks. I know that the world is screwed up. I know that people are in pain, dying of hunger, being murdered, being raped, fighting mental illness, fighting a world that’s set up to make us fail. And I still do nothing. Why? Everyone blames everyone else for the problems in the world, for the problems in their own life. Now yes, there are a lot of things out of our control but in truth laying blame even for those things gives us a victim mentality and allows us to give up responsibility for our own problems. That mentality is what has reduced us to the state we’re in now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as bad or worse than most people in the fact that rather than try to fix things or even understand the world around me anymore, I choose to isolate myself. I choose to do nothing. I choose to let the world implode around me knowing full well eventually I’ll be dragged back into it and come out just as bad as everyone else. Why?

I can sit here and blame the education system that failed me and everyone else (and yes the US education system is designed to teach us to follow orders and not think for ourselves), I can blame the government that’s corrupt and the politicians who are only looking out for their own interests. I can blame the large corporations that would happily let us all burn if it meant bigger profit margins. I can blame the generations before us that let things get this bad in the first place. I can sit here and research and point out every decision and mistake that got us here, but to what end?

Blaming others and letting others control what happens to us is how we ended up where we are in the first place. Allowing those in power to manipulate us and use our fears and hatreds to divide us while they take advantage of our weakness got us here. Look at the culture online. All those people who feel perfectly fine spouting vindictive, hateful, and downright dangerous vitriol because they can. Right or wrong has become secondary to what we can get away with. Common courtesy has completely given way to ‘I want’ or ‘I deserve’. This is the culture I grew up in. I know it’s screwed up. I know it’s wrong. But it’s normal and our willingness to accept what is normal, no matter how terrible it is, is frightening. Our complacency to let the world burn around us is terrifying.

I write this knowing full well that it will take something monumental to force me to any real action. Yes, I’ll vote this November to try and make things slightly less bad. But I am lazy. I am indolent. Even when things affect me directly, I. DO. NOTHING. I am the norm. I am why the world is quickly devolving into chaos. I know this. And still I DO NOTHING. Maybe it’s because I do feel so disconnected. Maybe it’s because I grew up believing that nothing I did mattered and that I could never be one of those people that change the world around me. Maybe it’s because I have no right to complain because compared to a lot of people, I have a good life. My problems are insignificant. I have no right to complain because so many people have it worse than I do. All I know is that I’m not an instrument of change. I am not a driving force to be reckoned with. I AM NOTHING because I DO NOTHING. And the world is filled with people like me.

I am the root problem. People like me are the root problem. It’s not those that hate others indiscriminately. It’s not the people in power who take advantage of my laziness. It’s our willingness to accept the world around us. Our willingness to shrug and say we can’t do anything about it. Our willingness to stand aside and watch things happen, knowing they are wrong. Our willingness to just let things be because we are afraid of change. We are afraid of standing out. We are afraid of bringing attention to ourselves. And at the bottom of it all, we believe we deserve what we get. Good or bad. Right or wrong.

I am the majority. And that is the problem.

On a side note. Is anyone else thinking it’s a good time to pool resources, start a new religion (perhaps the divine order of common sense and decency), and start a self-sufficient, self-sustaining commune? I have zero helpful experience, but I’m a quick learner with a high mechanical aptitude.

[arrancarscenarios]

Hi! can I plz get headcanons 4 how the arranca boys of ur choice would react to having a human f s/o who goes through a really traumatic event & becomes really ill because of the stress & strain on her body; she survives, but the severity of her sickness took her voice. Like it started off as just a really bad sore throat & then escalated from there. Or, the event was just so traumatic that they could no longer talk? Like ever again; or at least, not for a long, long time. Ty in advance 💛

yw honey!! I did some reactions instead of headcanons bc they’re a little faster for me to get out, but I hope it still gets the point across!

CHARLOTTE

Forone thing, he does feel a little guilty if her trauma happened whilein Hueco Mundo, or after she met him. Rather than waste time feelingtoo bad about it, though, he focuses any energy he doesn’t alreadyuse to serve his king into taking care of his S/O. He doesn’t knowwhat might be best for a human in this situation, so he starts withthings he thinks he might appreciate if he were in her position —lots of attention and affection, bringing things she likes, and beingwith her as often as possible. It’s okay that she can’t speakright now. First of all, he can do enough talking for both of them,and second, there are other ways to communicate. He knows she’sgoing to recover from it, as well she can, and no matter whathappens, he’s going to be there for her. Oh, and she gets somany throat kisses, both as if he thinks it’s going to help andalso as just one more sweet, romantic gesture.

D-ROY

Whetherthis happened before or after they met, whether she’s beenvoiceless since he’s known her or if this is new, he’s angry anddisappointed that he couldn’t keep it from happening. Protectinghis S/O is just one more thing he’s useless at. Especially if hertrauma happened before they met, this comes off as self-centered, soD-Roy does his best to swallow it down and concentrate on her. Ofcourse, he’s… at a huge loss here. He doesn’t really know whatto do to make her feel better and sometimes will get frustrated withhimself if he can’t understand what she wants or needs when heasks. Until he can comprehend how to read, the two of them will haveto communicate through gestures. Oftentimes, he just cuddles with herand purrs, in the hope that it might comfort her. He purrs toself-soothe when he’s upset or in pain, so it’s worth a shot,right?

FINDORR

Ifthere’s one thing Findorr Calius is up for, it’s a challenge. Andthis situation is… very challenging indeed. It’s difficult tospeak to her, but thankfully, he’s very intent about learning toread so that she can write out for him when she wants to talk, orabout learning sign language so she can sign to him. Either way, hespends zero time feeling bad about any of this, and more time doinghis best to understand possible solutions to make their lives easier.Sometimes he can seem distant or indifferent; however, he’s smartenough to realize that neither of them needsto be talking to have a fulfilling relationship, even if they enjoyconversing with each other. Sometimes just sitting together in thequietis enough. Estoyaquí,mi corazón,his silence whispers, estoyaquí.

GRIMMJOW

Morethan anything, it just kind of pisses him off, regardless of how orwhen whatever happened went down. How dare something or someone thinkthey can just hurtherlike that, bad enough to make her stop talking?! It makes him feelpowerless,particularly if it happened before they met, and if that’s thecase, he’s incredibly bitter about the fact that he’s never beenable to hear her voice. That said,even though he can’t help being angry, he wants to be there for herinstead of just seething about something neither of them can change.He gets easily frustrated by trying to understand what she needs orwants, and sometimes just guesses. He might even swallow his prideenough to approach Szayel, attempting to learn how to read, so thathe can better take care of his S/O.

LUPPI

It’sunfortunate, but he’s a bit cruel about it initially. He’s upsetenough to tell her mean things like “Wouldyou stop being so silly and just speak?”and “Idon’t know why it’s so hard for you to just talk to me.”It comes off as insanely insensitive, and probably even hurtful as ifhe’s trying to downplay her trauma, act as though it’s no bigdeal, make her feel guilty for being unable to speak. After sometime, it becomes clear that even though that’s the result, it comesfrom a place of intense fear. Something happened to her, somethingbad enough to take away her willingness to talk despite the fact thatshe’s still physically capable of it. That’s terrifying.It scares him. Over time he learns to read her without words, knowingwhat she might want or need, and reacts accordingly… huffing if shegets overly grateful, though. Sometimes at night, when he clings toher, he’ll murmur that he’s sorry for being such a jerk before.

NAKEEM

Justthinking about how much she must be hurting and how much she’s beenthrough, enough to do this to her, makes him feel even moreprotective of her. This is sadto him, more than anything. Every kind word or gentle touch she’sever given him suddenly hurts worse; someone denied her those thingsand here she is giving them to him when she knows that Hollows areill-equipped to reciprocate. He’s even more driven to keep her safenow, doubly determined to prevent anything bad from happening to herever again. Learning to decipher her body language and any otherclues she might give him as to what she wants comes naturally to himbecause he knows he needsto learn.He just… hasto show her that he’s here, he always will be, even when it’s noteasy.

NNOITRA

He’stired, he’s too fucking tired to want to deal with one morehorrible thing happening. And this? Is… pretty horrible. Even if ithappened before he knew her, it still makes him angry in this awful,exhausted way. If it happened after they met, well, he just blameshimself for not being able to stop it, regardless of the fact thatshe certainly doesn’t think it’s his fault. Once in a while he’lljust feel so unbelievably frustrated that he does things like punchwalls before stalking off, or going out to hunt things in the mostbrutal manner he possibly can. He can’t doanything about this.It’s hard for him to be soft at all, he’s all sharp edges anddoesn’t ever really fitwith her. But if that’s what she needs, he can learn how to be justthat little bit less terrible.Not often, and just for her. Even so, he thinks she should leave him,because he is so, so sure he’s never going to know what to do forher… despite the fact that he does just fine. Fuck,it’s complicated.

SZAYEL

Takehow much fun you think he would be about this, and divide it by ten.His S/O is not going to be a very happy camper unless she enjoysbeing prodded at and made to be her boyfriend’s newest scienceproject. He asks entirely too many questions about what happened —whether he’s oblivious to the fact that he’s dredging uptraumatic memories, or just too tunnel-visioned to care at themoment. Especially if it happened after they met, it’s hisextremely inappropriate way of trying to exert some control over thesituation.Otherwise, he just feels helpless, and that is notan option for him. If she doesn’t want him trying out all manner ofexperimental ‘treatments’ to try and get her voice back, severalof which may be rather unpleasant, she’s going to have to draw ahardline in the sand. All that in mind, however, he’s quick at learningthe best ways to communicate with her, sothat part at least is rarely an issue.

TESLA

Hetries very, very hard not to dwell on what happened, no matterwhether it was before or after they met. What is he going to do bythinking about it? That isn’t going to change what happened andit’s not going to bring her voice back. When he does think aboutit, about how much pain she went through, thekind of thing that’s maybe a fraction of the trauma Hollows gothrough,all he gets in response is the feeling of his throat tightening. Shedeserves so much better than that. He’s angry that things lined upin a way that allowed this to happen to her. It’s important,though, that he keeps a lid on those feelings so he doesn’tfrighten her with their intensity. Instead, he does his best to becalm around her, to not get frustrated, even though it’s difficult.He pours every ounce of his existence into being softfor her; a barely perceptible smile, a subtle squeeze of her fingersthat he hopes is reassuring, a hand carding through her hair. Everymoment he can, he studies her, so that he might be able to learn howto understand what she needs.

YYLFORDT

Hetries to cover it up acting like it doesn’t matter in theslightest, but just thinking about whatever she’s been through…it makes him angry. Angrier than he’s ever been, he thinks…angrier than he even knows how to express. More than anything hewishes he could hunt down whoever, whatever,affected her so badly and just make them cease to exist. Much as hethinks he’s hiding his true feelings, he doesn’t have thecapacity to be really believable about it, and as a result, his S/Ocan definitely tell what he’s feeling. She knows he’s angry, andshe is too, and if she can convince him of this, he might accept thatsometimes all they can do is be angry together. It’s easy for himto get distressed about communication, because he’s not greatat it in the first place, and this makes it harder, so he’s proneto minor blowups about being unable to figure out what she wants. Afew rude things will probably slip out, things that he doesn’tactually mean that he was just too late to stop. Forget swallowinghis pride —he’ll choke it the fuck down and ask Szayel to help him out, evenknowing he’ll have to put up with that smug look on his brother’sface. Being able to do something for his S/O is, strangely, worth itto him.

[ibrahimkhalilof]

This is How I Made $40k In Passive Income By Age 26

I’m talking here about real passive income, not the kind where you spend years writing a book. There’s one caveat though and you need money to make money.

I started investing part of my income every month at age 23. Three years later, I had made $40k in profit tax-free and could put down a deposit on my first house. All with less than an hour of effort per year. $13k per hour of work doesn’t sound bad, does it?

It’s not sexy but I relied on getting a professional job and investing my excess income. Many in my position don’t do this and sacrifice future financial freedom. You can take the profits to start up your own business with less reliance on outside help. Self-funding the initial stages gives you more credibility when asking others for more money.

My Economics bachelors and central bank experience made me confident to invest responsibly. Yet the steps I took weren’t complex and here I break down what I did.

NOTE: Lucky factors went my way with exchange rates, freak performance, and government bonus schemes amongst others. Do not read this and think similar performance can be produced reliably in the future. This is a high-level overview and I do not go into blow-by-blow detail.

Surrendered my arrogance

One of the biggest mistakes I see is people thinking they are exceptional. Investment funds have whole teams of hyperqualified people and complex algorithms. Yet 85.1% of active funds have failed to beat the S&P 500 in the last 10 years. How can you honestly believe you can win?

I bought index and active funds from the major economies rather than individual stocks. This takes the decision making out of my hands. As I’m from the UK, I invested through an ISA (the equivalent of a superpowered Roth IRA) to earn tax-free.

I spread myself out geographically with stocks in the USA, UK, mainland Europe, and Asia. My risk was dramatically reduced as I owned shares in thousands of companies. By using index funds, my fees were far lower than buying individual stocks. When I wanted exposure and index funds were unavailable, I found funds by managers with long histories.

Invested first and spent afterward

Every month, the same amount left my account automatically. I never considered this as spending money so it never factored into my buying decisions. I could start the account with significant savings from 1.5 years of working that were sitting in a low-interest current account.

There are all kinds of apps to encourage people to invest their savings. One of the tricks I dislike is rounding up purchases to send to the pot. You buy a cookie for 20 cents and 80 cents goes straight into your fund. This takes control away from you and leaves your input reliant on chance events. The return is already based on chance so why make it even more uncertain!

Some portray compounding as a type of sorcery. Yet 7% return per year for ten years on ten dollars is $9.67 profit. On a thousand dollars it is $967. Don’t make the excuse of something is better than nothing when you can put away more. It takes time to build a portfolio to the point where it can make a difference in your life. I had a massive advantage by living with my parents.

If you truly want passive income, you need to examine your spending habits too and decide if anything is a luxury you are happy to be without.

Never invested if I couldn’t afford to lose 50%

I could invest more than I did but I always kept some in reserve. If anything happened to me, I could cope with losing half the value of my investments. The amount you’re willing to risk can change over time and change your plans in line with this.

The worst crashes in the S&P history have taken the value to around half but they have always bounced back. We still didn’t fall below this even when news of the pandemic hit or when the financial crisis of 2008 struck. You can be confident a developed country’s stock market won’t completely self-destruct. Only a massive event could do this and then you’d have bigger problems!

Individual stocks can go to zero but it is harder for a fund to do so. You must feel comfortable with the unlikely worst-case scenario for peace of mind. There’s always a chance of great losses and you can’t blame anyone else if you lose more than you can handle. It is possible to lose everything!

Examined my opportunity costs

Let’s not pretend it isn’t a privilege to invest. Not only must you cover your expenses but also your debts. I was fortunate to have student loan debt with an interest of less than 2%. As long as I believed I could beat this rate, it made sense to invest extra money rather than paying off debts early.

Yet I know others are not as lucky. The average stock market return in the long-run has been 7% for the S&P. If the interest on your debt is higher than this, pay it off first! You have to decide your willingness to take the risk if your interest is less than this. I cannot tell you how much. I took a risk by investing in emerging economies and those paid off.

For entrepreneurs, when starting a business you should believe you can beat this rate in the long run. At the time, I didn’t have a business idea I thought would be a better path. You should be confident in forecasting significantly more than this to make the extra effort worth it.

Allowed the money to do its thing

There’s a secret of investing many people seem to forget. Looking at the numbers doesn’t magically make them increase. Interfering too much will backfire.

I thought about taking my money out several times when it looked like the peak. I thought about adding more whenever it looked like the bottom. Every time I was wrong. I would have lost wealth if I had acted. Trying to perfectly time the market will leave you anxious and constantly checking the news. Not to mention the lost income by needing to pay fees for every trade.

What you need to take with you

Investing in the way I did gave me much greater financial freedom. I did it while working a 9–5 and fresh out of university. The hardest part is working to get the money to invest but once you have this, it’s about making the strategy as easy as possible. These are the steps I took and can help you too.

1. Surrendered my arrogance — I bought funds, not individual stocks.

2. Invested first then spent afterward — I could only spend what I hadn’t invested.

3. Never invested if I couldn’t afford to lose 50% — I didn’t put my security at risk.

4. Examined my opportunity costs — I was sure it was the best use of my money.

5. Allowed the money to do its thing — I didn’t obsessively check on it.

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day! Remember this is my story and you must examine the risks for yourself. I have intentionally not given the exact funds because they may not perform the same in the future.

Any actions taken are completely at your own risk, this should not be considered financial or legal advice. I am not a financial advisor. Please consult a financial professional before making major financial decisions.

[makeste]

Top 10 Favorite Deku Moments

so it’s Deku’s birthday today!! and since he is the best boy in the world and I love him, I am going to do one of those “top ten favorite...” lists for him just like I did for Kacchan back in April. these are going to be in chronological order, and the last two will be spoilers, so I’ll label them to make sure no one gets caught unawares.

happy birthday Deku. and this post turned out to be super long, like 4000 words, so I’m sorry, but you deserve it though.

1. “Most of the top heroes show signs of greatness even as children.”

okay so before I get started, let me just warn y’all upfront that a full four out of ten of these moments will involve Bakugou. I’ve said before that the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki is full stop my favorite part of the series, and this is absolutely still true, so yeah.

that being said, what makes this particular scene one of my favorites isn’t just that it’s an important moment between them (I’ll get into that relationship more two entries down); it also just so happens that this is the crucial moment which everything else in the series can ultimately be traced back to. this is the moment that inspires All Might to hand his power down to a quirkless middle-schooler, because despite being virtually powerless, Izuku proves that he has the heart and soul of a hero. he moves without thinking, without any kind of plan. it’s extraordinarily stupid, and incredibly selfless. it doesn’t matter to him that he has no way to actually fight this villain. it doesn’t matter that less than an hour ago, Bakugou was taunting him and burning his notebook. it doesn’t matter that he could easily be hurt or killed. the only thing that matters is that someone needs help. that’s it. it’s that simple. 

what makes Izuku a hero is that he is literally incapable of standing by and not taking action in moments like this. he acts on reflex to save others. his instinct in moments of danger and despair is to help, in any way he can. that’s the core of his character. and it shines through in this moment, and All Might sees it immediately, and it spurs him to take action, and from here on out everything changes.

2. “He didn’t utilize his full power. He just concentrated it into his fingertip...!”

fast-forward to the first day of superhero school, and our boy finds himself immediately in a tight spot again because his teacher is a stern and unsympathetic asshole whose way of showing consideration for his students is to mercy-expel anyone he deems not up to par. problem is, Izuku can’t actually use his new quirk without blowing himself up from the inside out, and he’s competing against what is probably the most gifted group of students U.A. has ever had. this is what is commonly referred to as “a pickle.” a jam. a quandary, if you will. if he breaks all his bones to pass the test, Aizawa will flunk him anyway. what’s a little green hero to do.

Izuku solves this problem in a typical Izuku fashion, meaning that his solution is somehow reckless, self-sacrificing, and frankly brilliant in its simplicity. rather than break all of his bones, Izuku sacrifices one (1) bone in order to launch a baseball into space, thus proving he can adapt his quirk to be useful without taking himself out and just adding to the problem. it’s worth noting that this is only his second-ever time using One for All, too. the fact that he has never had a quirk in his life up til this point and yet manages to control OFA to this degree on just his second go-around is damn impressive.

but what’s even more impressive is the way he simply outsmarts the test here. he calmly takes in the situation, thinks about the options at his disposal, and arrives at a logical solution that most people wouldn’t even have considered, because it involves intentionally breaking his own finger, which is an absurdly self-destructive thing to do just to pass a damn fitness test. but it works!! and it impresses the shit out of Aizawa too. and I just really love this moment because it’s such a perfect example of Deku both being smart and also just plain not giving a fuck and being the plussest ultra ever omfg.

3. “I can’t say much. But you should know this, at least...!”

so now we come to the second moment on this list involving Kacchan, and already there is a pattern emerging here: namely, that these moments of conflict and then reconciliation between the two of them inevitably end up being some of the most pivotal moments in the series. this particular scene comes on the heels of their battle in All Might’s first hero class, during which Deku soundly defeats Bakugou and makes it clear beyond all doubt that HE IS HERE!! and not going anywhere and Bakugou is just going to have to deal. Bakugou does a very poor job of dealing, however, and spends the rest of the afternoon super-quiet and caught up in his inferiority complex and convinced that Deku has been hiding this from him their whole childhood just to fuck with him.

most people, when put in a similar situation, would be all “fucking serves you right tbh” and just brush it right off. but Izuku doesn’t. or more accurately, I should say that he can’t. once again he acts on pure instinct when Kacchan’s welfare is involved, and this time it results in him blurting out his biggest secret -- a secret he was sworn to by All Might himself -- simply because he can’t stand to see Kacchan so miserable and he can’t bear the thought of him believing that Izuku really had been tricking him.

this is so extraordinary to me for a number of reasons. first and foremost, because Izuku’s altruism knows absolutely no bounds. he and Kacchan are on possibly the worst terms any two people could be on. he has absolutely no obligation to tell him this. but he does, anyway! just to make him feel better! second, there’s the fact that he doesn’t intend to do it, but it just comes blurting out. Izuku’s feelings toward Kacchan are complicated, as we know. and yet whatever the reason may be, Izuku demonstrates again and again that it’s a relationship he wants to hold onto, and he does his best to protect and preserve what little pieces of it he can. 

and lastly, this is now the second example of what will become a well-established theme in the series of Izuku going out of his way to save Katsuki. he does this again and again. he tries to help him after he falls from the log bridge. he rushes to save him from the sludge monster. he tells him about his quirk. he nearly fails their final exam because he goes back for him after All Might knocks him out. he runs into a forest full of villains to try and save him in spite of having two broken arms. he goes to Kamino with Kirishima and the others knowing full well it could get him expelled. and he fights him at night in Ground Beta even though they get into trouble for it later, because he sees how much pain Katsuki is in and he can’t turn his back on him. 

over and over again he puts himself in harm’s way for Katsuki’s sake, fully expecting no gratification to ever come from it, but doing it anyway. because he’s a hero, and because heroes don’t ask whether or not someone deserves to be saved. they just save them. this to me is the most incredible aspect of Izuku’s character. his heart is just that big. he is exceptionally, impossibly selfless and forgiving and good. and that’s just who he is. and Bakugou is lucky enough to be on the receiving end of that, whether he likes it or not, and ultimately over the course of these repeated encounters, he ends up changing for the better himself. and this moment in particular will, eventually, lead to the two of them actually reconciling for realsies when Bakugou finally figures it out and is subsequently inducted into the OFA Scooby Squad of Destiny. so yeah. this scene is so fucking important I can’t even begin. god I really went off on a tangent there. anyways.

4. “And Todoroki... isn’t you!”

so here’s another battle which highlights Izuku’s willingness to go to absurd and horrifying lengths to sacrifice himself for the sake of others. this entire fight is nothing short of ridiculous. Deku is ridiculous. let me break it down for you. Todoroki comes up to Deku before this fight and is all “hey I made a vow to never use my left side in battle because my dad only had me to use me as a tool to defeat All Might and he basically ruined my life.” in response, Deku says he’s aiming to become the strongest hero and so he’ll definitely win. he then proceeds to break his own fingers to blast Todoroki with repeated OFA attacks, all the while screaming at him that everyone is going all out and doing their best, and it’s arrogant and disrespectful of Todo to think he can beat their determination with only half of his power. 

Deku has absolutely zero regard for his own well-being in this fight -- by the end of the battle his bones are in splinters -- and his teachers observe that even if he does win, he won’t be in any kind of shape to move on to the next match. basically, he throws aside all of his own ambitions and even his own sense of self-preservation (if he even has one; it’s honestly debatable at this point you guys), all for the sole purpose of helping Todoroki realize that his power is his own and not his father’s, and to break free of the revenge-tinted tunnel vision keeping him from following his own dreams. the whole thing leaves Todoroki awestruck, and even though Deku eventually loses the fight, he gains a friend for life, and Todo fans everywhere are in his debt. 

real fucked up what he did to his fingers, though. but it just goes to show that nobody is perfect.

5. “I’m here to save you, Iida!”

I freaking love this moment you guys, and I can’t even explain why. except that who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned last-minute shounen save? Iida is seconds away from meeting his death at the hands of the world’s most annoyingly long-winded Ninjas Turtles cosplayer when Deku drops in out of nowhere and just socks the guy square in the jaw. it is satisfying as fuck. honestly that would have been awesome enough, but what makes it even better is that Horikoshi goes into some detail to explain that Deku didn’t just coincidentally happen to find Iida at the exact crucial moment, but actually used his Big Hero Brain to deduce Iida’s location through a series of shrewd observations and insightful hunches. and he turns out to be bang on the money, and that moment where Stain is reeling from the punch and Iida is looking up at him like, “Midoriya?!” and Deku sticks the landing in slow motion and says “Bingo!” in fucking English is just so fucking badass, guys. not to mention that this is also the debut of his Shoot Style on top of everything else. to sum up, this is one of the best entrances in the entire series, and just one of the coolest things Deku has ever done, IMO. you’re cool, Deku.

6. “You clocked me with all of your heart.”

yeah so you may at this point be sensing a pattern with some of these moments. yet again Deku does something stupid and risky because he sees Kacchan in trouble and all logic and reason immediately fly out the window. in this case it’s even more ridiculous, because Katsuki is not actually in any real danger at all, and by going back for him Izuku completely loses sight of what Katsuki got himself all beat up for in the first place. and yet he does it anyway! again! without thinking! like, he makes it maybe two steps away, and then he overhears Kacchan’s teary-eyed overdramatic and determined speech, and he immediately goes “oh fuck this I can’t do this” and turns back and grins maniacally at All Might before soundly punching the shit out of him. it is complete nonsense. there is no reason for it. Katsuki himself is furious when he finds out about it later. but does Deku care?? no, he does not care. and do I? no I do not because it’s the best and I love it.

7. “Let’s do our best, okay?”

this scene is feels city you guys. feels o’clock. zero dark feels. I almost put the “you’re next” scene here instead, but in the end this scene won out because (1) hug!! and (2) this is really the continuation of all of those emotions anyway, and it’s where the catharsis is at.

so let’s break this down since there’s a ton going on here. Deku is wrestling with the grief of knowing that All Might the hero, the Symbol of Peace, is gone forever. the pillar he and the rest of the world relied on to always be there isn’t there, any more. that sense of security is gone. and that’s a hard enough thing to come to grips with on its own, but put it together with the knowledge that he is the one who needs to step up now and fill those shoes, before he ever expected to, before he’s ready, and I can only begin to imagine how overwhelmed he must feel. and then on top of that!! All Might tells him he’s proud of him and relieved that he made it out of Kamino unharmed! and he tells him that he’s going to be there for him and that they’ll face the challenges up ahead together.

so for poor Deku, when you put that all together, we’ve got (a) that sense of loss, (b) fear and anxiety over the unknown difficulties to come, (c) various imposter syndrome feelings that he might not be good enough to handle it, (d) whatever misplaced guilt he may be dealing with for being one of the reasons All Might lost his power, however inevitable it might have been, and last but not least, (e) the deeply profound and humbling feeling of being loved and supported by the man he loves like a father, and knowing that no matter how scary things get, he won’t have to do this alone. so in spite of everything else, there’s that sense of relief and gratitude there too. he can do this. it will be okay. his dad is there.

all of that emotion, packed in one tearful hug. no wonder the kid is crying his eyes out. I would be too. in fact I did, and have no shame in doing so, and I would do it again. good job Horikoshi.

8. “This fight may very well have been a meaningless one... but...”

motherfucker did I not warn you there would be four different BakuDeku moments in this?? and that’s with me reining myself in too to be quite frank. that’s just how it is. it’s my list!! 

anyway, so I’m not sure whether or not an entire fight counts as a “moment”, but I’m putting it out there anyway because I’m incapable of narrowing this down any more than that. I could have an entire separate list of Top Ten Deku VS Kacchan Part 2 Moments and I’m sure I would still wind up leaving something out. I love all of it. the whole damn thing. it’s such a huge turning point for them both. they finally sort everything out. truth bombs being hurled left and right. it’s so good. agh.

but here are some of Deku’s highlights: (1) immediately shifting from trying to talk Kacchan down to fighting him outright with no hesitation once he realizes what the fight is actually about, (2) despite knowing how Kacchan feels, allowing himself to be just a bit selfish for once and get caught up in his own rival feels and trying to prove his worth as All Might’s successor, (3) complimenting Kacchan in the middle of the fight because of course he does, (4) openly admitting how much he admired Kacchan growing up and that he thought he was amazing, (5) getting so worked up that he loses control for a moment and jumps to 8% in one of the most badass moments of the whole series, (6) acknowledging to himself that even though he really shouldn’t, he kinda digs Kacchan’s rougher “I’LL KILL YOU, ASSHOLE” side anyway and emulates it without thinking when he forgets himself and that Kacchan is his image of victory, and lastly, (7) being a sneaky bastard and throwing a punch in with his shoot style knowing full well it will catch Kacchan off guard, which it fucking does.

Deku goes hog wild in this fight. he has a grand old time and even manages to achieve a new power-up, because he and Kacchan always do manage to bring out the best in each other, when they’re not bringing out the worst. you can’t watch this fight and fail to notice how insanely fired up Deku is compared to his usual fights. he is into it. he is ready and willing to throw down. he is here to kick ass and take names!! this is the impact Kacchan has on him. thirty fucking seconds into his therapy fight and Deku's maximum power output has increased by a whopping 60%. holy shit. mad lads.

it’s something not lost on All Might, who wraps things up by patiently explaining to the two of them how much they can learn from each other. and the whole thing concludes with the two of them becoming, as All Might puts it, “proper rivals.” that’s right, their rivalry is now officially approved and sanctioned by the motherfucking Symbol of Peace. well done, boys. these two are going to be absolutely terrifying when they grow up.

***SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA PAST THIS POINT***

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9. “...But you were there.”

okay so I have this indecisive kind of thing going on with whether or not I think All Might is actually going to die, and whether or not I want to see it happen. some weeks, like this particular week, I am on the side of BITCH DON’T YOU DARE because everything is goddamn sad enough as it is, Horikoshi, and I don’t need any more reasons to lie awake at night crying over fictional characters! but then there are other days when I think about how devastatingly, breathtakingly heartbreaking it would be, and for some reason I think, shit, yeah, he’s gotta do it. go ahead and hurt us good. make us feel things. leave no survivors. just fucking wreck our shit, go on ahead.

but then I read this scene again and think, there’s something so incredibly powerful about the fact that All Might started out the series believing he was going to die and being resigned to that fate and making preparations for it, only to be completely blindsided by the love he has for this boy and what that ends up doing to him. his love for Izuku gives him the strength to fight against fate. it gives him the resolve to look the grim reaper in the eye and say “to hell with this, I’m going to live.” it’s his reason to keep going. it’s his purpose. and god but that’s some powerful shit. characters saying “fuck you” to destiny? I am weak as hell for that, hell yes give me more. give me all of that.

and then Deku in this scene. pleading with All Might to keep living. “you have to live to see that moment, when I can tell the world, ‘I am here!’” promising him that no matter what happens, when the time comes, they’ll bend fate together. “without fail.” and just, holy fuck. when he says it, you really believe they can do it. because if anyone can figure out a way to conquer the inevitable, it’s this kid.

10. “Senpai... if I said that I would give you my quirk, would you...?”

last but not least, today just happens to be Mirio’s birthday as well, so it only seems fitting to end with this moment, which in the span of a single page neatly sums up why both of these kids are worthy beyond a doubt of being the next Symbol of Peace. Deku selflessly tries to offer Mirio his quirk, and Mirio instantly rejects him. doesn’t even know what’s going on, really, but just rejects the offer out of hand. “no thanks. then you would be the one subjected to this hardship.” and we can’t very well fucking have that, now can we. nope. not on Mirio’s watch. never mind that he just lost his quirk and his mentor within the span of the past twenty four hours. he wastes no time in coming to Deku’s aid in spite of that, assuring him that he did great and that everything will be just fine. so just smile already!!

but the fact that Deku was even willing to make the offer just once again goes to show how astonishingly good he is. he knows better than anyone what it’s like to be quirkless and powerless. he knows exactly what Mirio is going through. what’s more, Mirio is absolutely right that Deku did fucking amazing and totally saved the day and without him they would have all been screwed! but all Deku can see in this moment is how deserving Mirio is, and so he decides that in order to help him, he’s prepared to make what for him is the ultimate sacrifice. the power that All Might gave him. his dream of becoming the greatest hero. everything he’s worked for up to this point. he’s prepared to throw all of that away if Mirio just says the word. there truly isn’t a selfish bone in this kid’s body.

but Mirio says no. because Mirio is also selfless. in conclusion we had just better hope the two of them never wind up reaching a door together at the same time, because the ensuing battle of who holds it open for whom could singlehandedly bring this series to a dead halt. the ultimate stalemate. they are too good and we don’t deserve them.

so anyways, that’s it! happy birthday kid. and here’s one more for the road.

11. “Dear Midoriya...”

a story in three acts. character development. growth. god bless.

[mysmashplaythroughs]

Super Metroid Samus Playthrough

Fighter: Samus Aran

Game: Super Metroid, Wii U virtual console (SNES). First Released on March 19th 1994.

Fighter Bio.

Born on Earth Colony K-2L, Samus Aran was an inquisitive and friendly but naïve child, often trying to make friends of visitors to the colony. One visitor she made friends with was an old Chozo who was known as ‘Old Bird’ who was visiting with a group of Chozo interested in the Afloraltite, a material which can be used to fuel starships. When the Chozo and Rodney Aran, the leader of the colony could not come to an agreement over the Afloraltite, the Chozo left. Not too long later however, some other visitors arrived on the planet seeking this fuel source, Ridley and his space pirates. Ridley’s forces began a raid on the colony and Samus, a naïve child greeted Ridley just as she had ‘Old Bird’ asking him to become her friend. Ridley after telling the child she’s cute then turned around to kill her, Samus being saved just in time by her Mother, Virginia Aran, who was killed protecting her. Following this, Samus’s Father in a last-ditch effort destroyed the Afloraltite the Space Pirates were trying to steal, killing many of their forces, himself, Ridley’s ship and heavily damaging Ridley in the process. Samus being the sole survivor of the Colony remained in its ruins until the Chozo group returned to the planet, finding the devastation and Samus.  Deciding to adopt the orphaned Samus, Old Bird took her with the group back to his home planet, Zebes. In order to survive on the harsh planet the Chozo infused Samus with Chozo DNA which, along with training she received growing up, gave Samus speed and agility beyond a normal human as well as allowing her to survive suitless on Zebes. Whilst on Zebes, Samus also during her time growing up knew of Mother Brain, the mechanical giant brain used by the Chozo to control operations on the planet.

Following her training with the Chozo Samus was gifted a power suit and with Old Bird’s blessing was named a warrior of the Chozo. She then left to join the Galactic Federation, excelling at the academy and becoming part of an elite force in the Federation Police Force. Fighting Space Pirates, Samus eventually ran into Ridley, although this meeting triggered her memories of that day back on K-2L which Ridley had apparently survived causing Samus to freeze and almost get killed. Following further trials Samus left the Galactic Federation disappearing for some time until she eventually resurfaced years later as a bounty hunter. Fighting many space pirates around the galaxy Samus became renowned although believed by the public at large to be a male cyborg. When Space Pirates captured some captive Metroids being held by the Galactic Federation and were eventually tracked to Zebes where they were seeking to breed them in order to conquer the entire galaxy, the Galactic Federation turned to Samus due to her history on the planet. Mother Brain, who had revolted against the Chozo and allied herself with the Space Pirates, organising them and becoming their leader was the one in charge of operations on Zebes with Samus’s mission being to destroy all the Metroid organisms on the planet and Mother Brain.

Samus took on this task, facing off against the various dangers of Zebes as well as the Space Pirate Captains, Kraid and Ridley, who she finally defeated. Samus then went to Tourian, Mother Brain’s lair on Zebes where she fought and destroyed the Metroids and finally Mother Brain herself. In defeat however, Mother Brain set off a self-destruct system which Samus had to race back to her ship in order to escape. Her escape was short lived however as her ship was shot down, this however is part of another story relating to her Zero Suit form. Following this, Samus took on many different missions, often finding herself facing other breeds of Metroids and Space Pirates. She also encountered Ridley numerous times, now in a cybernetic form known as Meta Ridley. Eventually, Samus was given a mission to travel to the Metroid’s home planet of SR-388 and hunt down all remaining Metroids on the planet. In doing so Samus fought many mutations Metroids could undergo on the planet, including the final source of all Metroids on the planet, the Queen. Having destroyed the Queen, Samus encountered the final Metroid, a baby who hatched from an egg just when Samus arrived. Samus prepared to open fire on it until she realised it had imprinted on her as it’s Mother and was not hostile. Not wanting to kill the creature, Samus instead took it with her back to her ship, on the way having another encounter with Ridley, one which the Baby helped her to escape. Taking the baby Metroid to Ceres Space Colony so it could be researched by the Galactic Federation and she hoped kept safe. When Samus left however, she almost immediately received a distress signal from the Colony, returning there to find it had been attacked by a newly recovered Ridley and his Space Pirates.

Samus is a powerful warrior who is known to be a brooding loner of few words. She has a great amount of willpower despite her melancholic outlook with her always fighting her hardest against whatever threat she faces, often being able to survive where entire troops of Galactic Federation soldiers haven’t. Despite her fierce willingness to take on anything, Samus also shows great compassion when warranted, such as saving a species from extinction known the Luminoth, helping the Etecoons and Dachora escape Zebes when it faced destruction and sparing the Baby Metroid despite her orders being to destroy every last one on SR-388. Beyond this Samus’s personality as with many Nintendo player characters has been kept fairly vague with few games delving into it. Samus’s main equipment is her Power Suit which is highly adaptable with her gaining many abilities from both Chozo technology on Zebes as well as Chozo technology from other planets which have enhanced the Power Suit’s power, defence, manoeuvrability and elemental protections as just a few examples. With Chozo Blood in her veins Samus is also able to achieve feats beyond ordinary humans with her enhanced agility and speed.

Friends: Samus often works alone and ends up on planets with very few if any friendly species. Due to this, most of Samus’s allies only appear in backstory or the occasional cutscene. Samus has fought alongside, been a part of and been hired by the Galactic Federation numerous times, however she has not always seen eye to eye with them. Samus had a few friends back when she was part of the Galactic Federation, one of them being Anthony Higgs, a soldier in the Galactic Federation who once worked with Samus. Samus had a respect for her old commanding officer Adam Malkovich, although they would often clash, one of these clashes leading to Samus’s decision to leave the Galactic Federation. Having been raised by them Samus has a love of the Chozo, especially ‘Old Bird’ who was the first Chozo she made friends with as a child. Samus has also been helped by and helped the few non-aggressive species she’s met on various planets, such as the Etecoons and Dachora who helped her with learning to use certain abilities and she helped to escape the planet Zebes when it was set to be destroyed. Samus has worked alongside other bounty hunters such as Ghor, Rundas and Gandrayda, however they were sadly corrupted by Phazon and Samus was left with no choice but to kill them. Finally there is the Baby Metroid which Samus bonded with after it hatched. The Baby helped save Samus a couple of times and Samus felt great sorrow after it’s death at the hands of Mother Brain.

Enemies/Rivals: Samus has fought many enemies over her career, with a lot of them being associated with the group who make up her main enemies, the Space Pirates. Samus could be said to have two main enemies, the first of which is Mother Brain, who Samus has not fought often but when she has, they have been key conflicts in Samus’s life. Being on Zebes throughout Samus’s childhood, turning on the Chozo and joining with the Space Pirates, as well as murdering the Baby has resulted in Mother Brain influencing Samus’s life a lot. Mother Brain when she is present tends to be the leader of the Space Pirates, however Ridley often is either the main leader or second in command. Ridley has a long history with Samus, being responsible for making her an orphan, which in turn means he’s responsible for his own worst enemy. Ridley is Samus’s most persistent foe, and even after his death his clones have kept up this antagonistic relationship with her. Arguably the next biggest foe Samus has ever faced is Dark Samus, a being of pure Phazon that took control of Samus’s Phazon Suit. Dark Samus replicated much of Samus’s abilities with additional powers afforded by its Phazon makeup, this made it a dangerous foe for Samus, it was not allied with the Space Pirates however and became as much their enemy as it was Samus’s. Many of Samus’s foes are more beasts than intelligent species, with her most fought, the Metroids, being dangerous creations being used by the Space Pirates rather than intelligent life with goals. Other dangerous beings Samus has fought besides the space pirates include the Ing, a race from Dark Aether, a planet that’s from a parallel dimension to the planet Aether, making the Ing seem to be dark reflections of the peaceful Luminoth Race native to Aether, whom they have been invading and had almost wiped out. There is also the X-Parasite, amoeba-like beings which can replicate the form of other beings, their only natural predator being Metroids which were bred by the Chozo to hunt them, the X-Parasites came close to killing Samus if it weren’t for a vaccine created by infusing Samus with Metroid DNA saving her life and allowing her to absorb X-Parasites at their base form.

Crossovers with other Smash characters: Samus has not crossed over with other characters very often and at most has had allusions to other series in her own games rather than actual characters crossing over. Samus has crossed over with Mario a couple of times, the most notable of which was when she appeared in Super Mario RPG in a small cameo role, sleeping in a bed in Mushroom Castle after Mario defeats Yaridovich but before he goes to Land’s End. Samus will simply say “….. I’m resting up for Mother Brain.” When spoken to. Samus’s ship appears in the background of Busted Bayou in Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze, although Samus herself does not appear. Samus crosses over with Kirby in Kirby’s Dream Land 3 where she appears at the end of a level in her full Power Suit. If Kirby defeats the six Metroids in the level with the ice power however, Samus will appear without her helmet and give Kirby a Heart Star or if that’s already been awarded a 1up. A cancelled crossover Samus almost took part in was an appearance in Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga. It’s been found in the game’s coding that Samus was meant to appear with other Nintendo characters as a special guest giving Mario and Luigi an Energy Tank in exchange for their newly brewed drink. Samus also appeared alongside Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Bowser, Donkey Kong, Pit and Link in the NES version of Tetris playing an Upright Bass in her Power Suit, and made a similar cameo in F-1 Race with various Mario and Donkey Kong characters as well as Link. Finally, whilst I normally wish to avoid things outside of games, Metroid played a somewhat big part in the Captain N TV series, with Mother Brain being the main antagonist of the show and various characters being (very loosely) adapted from different franchises such as Simon Belmont, Mega Man and Pit. Samus herself didn’t appear in the TV series but in the comic stories where the writers didn’t have the rights to use Simon Belmont or Mega Man anymore, Samus was part of the remaining team along with Pit.

Why this game?

Well, simply put, Super Metroid is often considered the essential Metroid game, even more than the very first which this is somewhat a retread of. Super Metroid takes place on Zebes, the planet Samus grew up on which is now the Space Pirates main base of operations under the control of Mother Brain. Samus defeated Mother Brain’s operations in the very first game on this planet, but in Super Metroid it turns out Mother Brain survived and Ridley has stolen the final Metroid in the universe in order for the Space Pirates to once again attempt to breed them in order to conquer the galaxy. The reason I picked this game is simply because it defines Metroid as a whole. All of the most iconic Metroid creatures and villains come from this game, some only ever appearing in this game and the original such as Kraid yet still being thought of as the main Metroid cast. A lot of Samus’s moveset in Smash is based on this game also, especially since this was the last game Samus was in before the very first Super Smash Bros. Finally, the simplest reason I chose this game to play for Samus is it’s one I’ve been meaning to properly play through for years, and thanks to this ride I’ve been on, I’ve now done that and I am thankful for it.

My past with this game.

So my history with this series is probably similar to a fair few people who didn’t play that many games until the N64 era. I first really knew of Samus in the first Super Smash Bros. I also didn’t realise Samus was a woman until I noticed how she looks when electrocuted in Smash (the original Smash Bros had a unique set of animations where you’d see character’s skeletons briefly when they were electrocuted, except Samus who would be a sort of green figure of how she looks under her power suit.) When it comes to what I thought Metroid was though, it’s somewhat embarrassing really. Back around the time, Nintendo Magazines were my main source of information about games. I tended to read about a lot of games I had never played and didn’t really intend to, however with so many games that I’d only seen still images on a page of, I would very often fill in the blanks with my imagination. Samus has a striking costume with the orange and red colour scheme, and a game I saw advertised a lot at the time had a character with an orange costume, along with a visor and was from a sci-fi setting. This was actually a fairly obscure N64 game called Body Harvest, interestingly I’ve found out developed by the predecessor to Rockstar Games (the creators of GTA3 which some say this game was like a sci-fi based prototype of.) Coincidentally, I also for a while thought Body Harvest and Harvest Moon of all things were the same game, so in summary I think it’s obvious how unaware of games besides the ones I’d played I was back then.

Anyway, gradually over the years I’d hear more of Metroid and find out more about it, through magazines going over the series history when the Prime games were coming out, to later Smash Bros showing off more of the series such as Ridley appearing in the intro for Melee. Also before Brawl came out, I remember a youtube channel and one which has always been an inspiration to me, called CrappyCaptureDevice, which sadly has been inactive since Brawl came out did a lot of videos going into the history of the characters, stages and various other things in Smash, and I learnt a lot through these so I definitely wanted to credit them at least once. It was around the time of Brawl I believe when I first actually got a Metroid game, Metroid Zero Mission on GBA. I’d read about it and how it was a remake of the original so I felt it was the perfect place to start, even if I’d heard a lot about Super Metroid by this point. Metroid Zero Mission being my first Metroid and the first I ever completed has given it a lot of nostalgia for me, which is funny as it was a remake of an NES game for GBA. Having played Zero Mission and attempted the original NES game (which I was awful at) I of course had to check out Super Metroid. The thing was, at the time I couldn’t appreciate it. I immediately wanted it to play like the GBA game did, and had trouble getting used to the ‘changes’ in the controls etc. Also, as Zero Mission drew inspiration from Super Metroid when remaking the original game, I admittedly felt like I’d already seen most of what would be in the game, a ridiculous idea I realise now but back then I didn’t play it for long before another newer game I’d been looking forward to came out, as often tended to happen when I actually got old games I’d been meaning to play on Virtual Console etc.

Sometime later, I decided it was time to properly play the game. I’d seen a couple of Lets Plays on youtube of the game by this point, and I knew all the plot points that took place etc so I just wanted to play the game for myself now. I started to appreciate the game more, from it’s exciting opening, to the first area of the game which does something I love games doing, to Brinstar’s more flowery areas with the more subdued but really nice music. I was really enjoying the game… then I reached it, ‘Noob Bridge’. I had one of my ‘Zelda Pitfall’ moments, figured I’d take a break and come back to it later… and didn’t come back to it for another few years.

My Smash Playthrough.

So, in the meantime, before I got around to playing Super Metroid again, I’d read about ‘Noob Bridge’, and realised just how ridiculous I’d been to quit. It didn’t help in this respect that the other Metroid games I’d played didn’t have a run button, even the later ones like Fusion and Zero Mission didn’t. Super Metroid was one of many games that inspired me to take on this challenge, more so than others because it was a game from a series that had been in Smash for a long time, and which I’d only ever beaten one game of at this point, being Zero Mission. (Actually, there was Other M too but I barely remember that one beyond one or two moments.) So I played through the opening sequence on the space station, which I’d done a few times before so there wasn’t much stood out about it this time, then reached Zebes. One of my favourite types of ‘fanservice’ in games is getting to revisit old locations, especially when those locations are shown to be part of a larger world, it really helps making a sequel feel like it’s an expansion of the original. Super Metroid does this in a really cool way by having you return to the original area Brinstar on planet Zebes, which has been left to ruin along with going to Mother Brain’s base of operations in the original game, which is all still ruined following the events of the first Metroid. As you go through however, you’re being watched by what seem to be some sort of security systems, which makes it clear the place isn’t as dead as it looks.

Following this you travel to the rest of Zebes, expanding beyond the original game’s area into the Space Pirates true base. You travel to areas from the original game, but a lot of them are vastly different to the original versions, showing you that even if you’ve been to an area before such as Brinstar, it won’t necessarily be the same as it was last time. The original Brinstar, in Zero Mission was rocky with the occasional acid lakes. The Brinstar you visit in Super Metroid is an area overgrown with vegetation, with all sorts of flora and fauna growing there. It is also here in Brinstar where I returned at last to ‘Noob Bridge’. This time, I was ready, and ran across the crumbling bridge, making it further than I ever had before. Following this, I travelled through the many areas of the game, some familiar like Brinstar and Norfair. Some new to me such as the Wrecked Ship and Maridia. I got through a fair bit of the game without too much trouble, although there’d be times I’d end up in another ‘Zelda Pitfall’ looking all around the different areas to try and work out where I hadn’t been, only to work out it was something obvious I’d missed. I believe the area I had the most trouble with was Maridia, although I don’t have any issues I can remember specifically, it was more I’d find it a tough area to navigate and spent a good hour aimlessly wandering around till I figured out where to go.

One big aspect of the game which sets it apart from the rest of the Metroid series is the atmosphere. Of course, this isn’t to say the other games in the series don’t do atmosphere well, far from it, just I’d say this is the game that does it the best out of all of them. I personally really like the lively music tracks from some of the series, with Zero Mission having some great songs that were remakes of the music from the NES game, and made up a lot of the music Metroid had in the Smash Bros series. Super Metroid’s music tends to be a lot more muted, but it really works well building the atmosphere. The subdued themes tend to emphasise the desolate feeling in some areas, which is helped by the graphical look of the game. One of the key aspects to Super Metroid is how the story is more experienced than told to you. One of the biggest examples of this is the few friendly creatures you’ll meet on Zebes. They will show you how to do the wall jump and shine spark by doing it alongside you, teaching you how without dialogue or actually telling you the buttons. This culminates at the end of the game where you can find them trapped and choose to help them escape, which doesn’t change the ending majorly but is a small touch to the game which just feels nice in my opinion. It’s not a very complicated story but it’s still done well and engaging I found. Another aspect I really like about the game is how colourful it can be. Whilst there are a lot of desolate areas, there are also areas such as in the overgrown parts of Brinstar that have bright pink colours everywhere, and the enemies are varied with various colourations rather than just being generic grey bugs as some other sci-fi games where you fight aliens tend to go for.

The bosses were all fun to fight as well as challenging. Kraid was cool to see, especially as the version in Zero Mission was based on this version, so I’d been looking forward to playing the ‘original’ fight for myself. Phantoon was another fight I found cool, it took me a couple of tries but I beat it eventually. Draygon I think was probably the boss I had the most trouble with having to probably rematch it the most. Ridley was a fun fight and I don’t remember him being particularly difficult. His style of fighting in this game still makes it funny to me he would become a fighter in Smash down the line, but I’ll go more into that in another post. Finally, we come to the final boss Mother Brain. The fight with Mother Brain I found easier than the fight with her in Zero Mission, although there’s a reason for that as this version of Mother Brain starts off fighting you the same way as she did in the original game, but then has a second form after you defeat her. The second form I didn’t have any trouble with either from what I remember, and this leads to the most famous sequence from the game, where Samus is helped just when it looks like she’s about to be defeated and gets the final powerup of the game. This is what I like to think of in games as the ‘Reward Final Boss’ where you’re very unlikely to lose to them and it’s more a reward for reaching the end of the game that you’re able to thrash the final boss spectacularly, especially if it follows on from a Final Boss who was particularly difficult and you get to pay them back for all the time you’ve spent fighting them. I’ve seen these sort of final bosses criticised for being too easy but personally I think it’s a good way to do it, especially if it’s a reward for defeating their earlier more difficult form.

Following this comes the ending sequence, however before I go onto that, I think it’s best I go over the Baby Metroid. It’s the main driving force for the game, being the creature the Space Pirates have captured in the hopes to create more Metroids using it, and it’s a key part of the Metroid franchise at this point due to being so iconic. Sometimes it’s not been done well, but I feel that shouldn’t be allowed to tarnish how important and well the Baby works in this game. I don’t want to spoil anymore about it, granted when I played the game I already knew all about what happens etc, but it’s still a key aspect to the game I don’t see much point in me fully explaining here. One thing I will say though is that even though it’s a plot point brought directly over from Metroid 2, the Game Boy game which until it got a really amazing remake recently on 3DS tended to be forgotten, it’s perfectly easy to understand and follow the plot involving it when playing just this game alone. So, following Mother Brain’s defeat, as is a tradition at this point in the series, there’s an escape sequence. Unlike the first game where it was just the Space Pirate’s Base that was destroyed, this time the whole planet blows up, and Samus has to escape before the timer reaches zero. Being the planet she was raised on of course this is a big part of Samus’s overall life, so seeing the world blow up, even if there’s no dialogue regarding it is still a big moment for her in the series, with her ship narrowly escaping the explosion, and depending on whether you saved the creatures, you’ll see them also escape if you look carefully. You get a different ending image depending on how long you took to beat the game, with Samus either in her power suit, in her power suit without her helmet or in her casual outfit. Naturally this being my first time beating the game, I got the full power suit ending for taking over 10 hours. Still, regardless of that, beating this game was a big deal to me. Super Mario 64 was a game I’d played through many times, as was Donkey Kong Country. Ocarina of Time I’d beaten the remake of on the 3DS already before I beat the N64 version, but this for the first time in my Smash Bros Playthroughs was a game I’d always meant to beat but never had, until now, the first of many to come and I loved it.

Specific aspects about the game relating to Samus in Smash.

So, for my Smash Bros playthrough, Super Metroid does something that made it so much easier for me, and which is something I don’t believe any other Metroid game sadly gives you the option for, which is you can choose what equipment upgrades you’re actually using. What’s even cooler with this is it means you can mix different types of upgrades to be unique setups, such as if you don’t want to be able to use the charge beam, but want to use the wave and ice beams, you can select that and instead of charging the shot when you hold the button down you’ll rapid fire a beam that can go through walls and freeze enemies. Due to this feature, I was able to make Samus as accurate as possible to her Smash Bros appearance. In this case, I chose to have her equipped with the Varia Suit, Charge Beam, Morph Ball, Bomb, Screw Attack, Hi-Jump Boots and Space Jump (due to her double jump in Smash Bros). She also has her regular and Super Missiles equipped as well as the Grapple Beam. This is I believe the closest to Samus having all of her abilities from the Super Smash Bros series as you can get probably in the whole Metroid series, as you don’t tend to be able to get every upgrade with the Varia Suit before it gets upgraded in other games and you can’t switch back by that point. Samus’s entrance animation in Smash is taken from the save points throughout the series and seen in this game. When you continue on a save file the game will have Samus start off in the last save point you saved at, and similarly to Smash Bros she will appear facing the screen stood inside the save point before you make her walk out. Finally, Samus’s gunship in Smash Bros is based on the one she uses in this game, with it sometimes changing slightly based on other portrayals such as in Metroid Prime 2 and Other M, however it is still the same gunship in these cases and she does not use any of the other models of gunships she has owned throughout the series in Smash. 

Credits.

For information on this game including dates of releases I must give credit to Wikitroid.

The screenshots in this post are taken by me using Miiverse before it shut down.

[theskyexists]

The Timeless Children

I hated everything about this.

Like - EVERYTHING.

1. The companions had nothing to do with the Doctor the whole episode and contributed literally nothing to her story - they didn't even SAVE HER BECAUSE SHE SAVED HERSELF. They somehow find her in the centre of the ruins after they have a ‘touching’ moment about willing to risk their lives to save her - but they come into the room JUST after it’s become completely irrelevant - it was like a fucking PARODY.  They never even learned what the fuck was up with her. Yaz gets nothing in return for her classic faith in the Doctor - this is worse than fucking Martha. And still no hugs - loveless. COMPLETELY LOVELESS.

2. There was zero suspense. Zero. Who CARES about the mystery of the Timeless Child and their society if the Time Lords are fucking dead. Who CARES about the companions being in danger when they’re in a completely separate plot - like - COMPLETELY. I thought the Doctor trying to bargain her life for theirs was a juicy line - too bad it meant NOTHING - had NO impact whatsoever. Half of this episode was pure exposition dump?

3. Why was this the Master show? - he just talked for 30 minutes (I think it might genuinely have been 30 ACTUAL minutes) while the Doctor said NOTHING - even Sasha Dhawan can’t carry that off???? I can’t believe that Chibs had me get bored of Sasha’s performance???? HOW. It was so repetitive - truth truth truth. I’m so weepy - I’m so mad - I’m so clever. Oh I’ve broken you - yep I’ve broken you. Why is there even the fuckin assumption?? I could not parse why this would be SO devastating to anyone that Chibs would hang the whole plot and emotional arc on this. Literally immobilising the Doctor and making her mute K.O.’d their INCREDIBLE chemistry. JEzus Christ.

4. This episode went: weapons are good though. Use bombs and guns!

5. ‘You can’t pretend to be cybermen for ANY amount of time’ - yet somehow they manage to masquerade as cybermen to such an extent that they can join a platoon, teleport down, shoot at people, and kill the cybermen remaining. Well why didn’t anyone else think of this???

6. Reduced cybermen down to - armour that you can fuckin PUT ON?????

7. NO attempt at body horror was made even when there was the opportunity. Human remains? we see nothing of the Cybermen’s previous humanity and their nature as victims. No threat of conversion for any of the companions. This was possibly the least scary chib episode yet and that says something.

8. If Ryan had lobbed a bomb at Yaz and Graham they would have been DEAD.

9. Why kill that girl when she should know that Cybermen don’t even falter at gunfire so how can she provide ‘cover’ lol

10. Needless explanation and repetition resulting in ZERO suspense.  The Master explaining that he sent the Doctor those visions - useless minutiae. The Doctor retreading everything the Master has just told the audience - making her seem dumb and making me FEEL like he thinks I’m fuckin dumb.

11. Completely anticlimactic end for the Lone Cyberman.

12. The Doctor did not start out a rebel - did not start out looking at the stars going: ah....I want to go there. They interfered because they had been primed for it by years of working for the ‘Division’ - they weren’t a rebel who wanted to see more and then realised they could actually do good - in defiance of the conservative society they were part of. No. They’d been the Doctor even before Ian called One that. Well that cool and wonderful theory of being Named and taught by humans can go out the window.

13. First, the particle would destroy all life in the universe. Then - suddenly - as though they rewrote the script while they were filming - it would only destroy all life on the planet. Right.

14. Why even MENTION that nobody can enter the TARDIS in this very series if you end it on the fucking JUDOON!!!! JUDOON!!!! teleporting in.

15. It was repeatedly said that the Cybermen can ‘read’ human lifesigns but not uhhhhhh when it’s inconvenient I guess.

16. Is Tec-Teun Rassilon? Because I didn’t get the sense that the Time Lords’ rise to power on the back of their seemingly harmless genetic splicing was presented as a bad thing per se. So what the fuck is the issue. The Master was just mad that the Doctor was essential to the creation of his being. Ok. I guess there was no moral argument behind it or anything. They didn’t deserve to get wiped out - it really was just a lunatic who somehow gained the power to destroy one of the greatest civilisations ever (which is certainly also never explained).

17. Still no idea where Missy and her character development fits in this. Apparently this Gallifrey destruction wasn’t because of anything clever like that the Master learned from the Doctor and obliterated the Time Lords for being quite particularly evil by their new rules - no he just...... killed them because his ego got hurt? right.

18. Somehow not a single cyberman notices them disassembling 5 cybermen making a lots of noise - not even the fucking CYBERIUM - the hub of all strategic fuckin cyberknowledge or whatever - apparently they haven’t thought of sensors and AI interfaces being able to use them when plugged into a damn ship yet in the far future. Nobody notices them boarding, planting bombs, running away. None of the Cybermen can shoot straight. What a fuckin threat.

19. The Doctor really just needed a goddamn peptalk from her way more Doctor-ish past self to blow the Matrix out? That sequence was pretty fucking shit-looking. And then the emotional resolution is that she’s totally ok with being more than she remembers? Oh ok. ‘You’re afraid - not me!’ OK?? Why? Why? Would the Master have expected the Doctor to respond like it’s some awful truth. Ok the founders lied bc the Time Kid got out of control but then they lost track of them again? I mean yikes they suck. Isn’t the goddamn emotional punch really that their people are dead - again?? Dead??? forever??? what about its children??? what about the horror and the guilt and - does none of that matter any more? Guess we have another Dimension to travel to to see where the Doctor actually came from. Old conflictual but significant relationship with ‘home’ ended- mysterious dimension is the Doctor’s home now.

20. The end implies that the Doctor wasn’t hesitating to kill the Master, the last remains of the Time Lords and every single living thing on her home planet - she was just hesitating to kill herself. I said Chibnall had no moral intelligence but - he truly does not understand the Doctor in any way!? I cannot express how much I despise this. This was worse than mediocre it was fucking CRIMINAL. And it wasn’t even a triumph - it wasn’t even a defeat of the fuckin Master either (and who even CARES about Ko Sharmus????).

I lied I liked four things:

1. Graham and Yaz having their heart to heart.

2. Ginger-haired Brandon being the Doctor. That was a great visual parallel.

3. The overall backstory to the start of the Time Lords was like - fine. I prefer mythological backstories to be nebulous. But alright. Put the focus on the ability to regenerate instead of time travelling - ok, that makes sense - sure - whatever. All the diversity was pretty beautiful too.

4. At least the Master got choked this time (jfc chibnall - can you write NO other shorthand for the willingness to use deadly force???)

[therebelwrites]

Martyrdom is the New BLACK: The Realest Message Ever Written to Black Men

In my post, “A Deeper Understanding of Death and Murder,” where I shed light on the concept of murder, I wrote:

“Death must be ACCEPTED.

“IN ‘DEATH’–AS IN LIFE–YOU CAN ONLY BECOME A VICTIM IF YOU ACCEPT VICTIMIZATION.”

Having already explained that death does not exist in a previous post, I explained, essentially, how people can be “murdered” in an unbiased cosmic system: you can only “die” if you WANT to exit the game of life. Nobody can MAKE you die without your consent. Otherwise, “life” would be so unfair that there would be no incentive to incarnate into the physical realm to play the game at all if you already knew that you would possess ZERO control over your own destiny while here.

Obvious it is that Black men have no qualms with giving up the ghost. The Black community has reached a point where we have, as a collective, become dangerously desensitized to death.

“People die everyday”

is the rationale uttered (and accompanied by shoulders shrugged), along the winds bloodied, blowing through any given hood on any given Sunday (or Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday, or Saturday, or Sunday, or Monday, or....), usually in response to shockingly traumatic situations which would render other ethnic groups catatonic.

You see, when your friends-- people you LOVE--DIE all the time, even DEATH, itself, loses its BITE.

What chu gon do, kill me? Shid, people die everyday....

It becomes yet another thing to WELCOME with open arms (hello, incessant oppression!) and yet another thing NOT to be taken seriously (Oh, so I owe you money? Is that really?? Betta stand in line! LMFAO.)

Of course, Black men being warriors by birth--in addition to being in possession of the testosterone-- instinctively view death, loss in general, as a necessity of BATTLE. (Black women in contrast, want to try to NURTURE and SAVE all the little soldiers--even those of the enemy, and even to our DETRIMENT.) Under a system of white pathology, this is, predictably, a recipe for self-destruction (or UPRISING, when the temperature rises enough for the pot of oppression to boil over), and Black men are able to kill and be killed for next to nothing.

(And Black women MOURN and Black babies CRY and the oppressor REJOICES and the green grass grows, green CASH flows, all around, all around.)

COFFINS.

When you mix in the current atmosphere of social justice, you get Black men-- fully aware of the fact that they could just as easily fall victim to police violence or so-called “senseless” crime--who will readily die for the cause.

Rather than become just another victim of an easily-forgotten criminal act, they readily don the robe of MARTYRDOM.

Which brings me to the entire premise of this post:

BLACK MEN: EVERYBODY CAN’T BE A MARTYR!!

While I appreciate the willingness to DIE on the battlefield of Black liberation, y’all can’t ALL be Dr. King or Malcolm X or Medgar Evers, or Tupac or Darren Seals! SOMEBODY GOTTA STAY IN THE PHYSICAL REALM TO HELP FIGHT THE WAR!

SOMEBODY GOTTA LIVE TO PROTECT BLACK WOMEN AND CHILDREN AND TO INCITE CHANGE ON THIS SIDE OF THE GAME!

Keep in mind: dying for the cause is STILL DYING, and as I said in a previous post:

“In Black minds, you BEAT the game of life by continuing to SURVIVE, rather than simply leaving the game prematurely and voluntarily. This also explains why Blacks are more likely to accept the ultimate victimization (death), by being KILLED (as opposed to suicide); because being killed gives the ILLUSION of NOT being complicit in your own decision to leave (die).”

I repeat: You BEAT the game of life by continuing to SURVIVE.

It’s time for Black male warriors to start idolizing the likes of James Meredith, who survived an assassination attempt and is STILL ALIVE TODAY, and Dick Gregory, who fought and fasted for freedom for the duration of his life-- AND LIVED TO BE 84 YEARS OLD.

DEAD the thoughts, talk of premature DEATH and martyrdom as your PERSONAL contribution and COLLECTIVE (male) solution to living a life in which you must ceaselessly FIGHT for Black liberation.

After all, SOMEBODY gotta live to tell the story!

[rouilleandcompany]

🌌Favorite alternate version of the muse? 💕Favorite ship for the muse?  💔Least favorite ship for the muse? 💢Something about the muse that annoys you? 😈Worst thing you’ve ever done to your muse?  😂Funniest thing that’s ever happened to your muse?  💡 What inspires you to write the muse?  📷 Favorite picture/screencap of your muse

🌌: I think Nenkoka as a night elf could be really cool, since she could have more or less the same backstory (parents met in Cenarion circle, grew up constantly on the move, etc) but she would have been barred from druidism and would likely have gone more along the Sentinel path. A lot of Nenkoka’s journey has been guided by her dislike of violence but willingness to resort to violence if it feels necessary. I imagine that if she was taught to view violence and fighting as her job at a younger age, she might be less averse to it-- or she would have gone to her planting & science but without a formal title. Either way, she would have had a less clear path ahead of her if she couldn’t just be a druid!

💕: Oh man, I don’t really do a lot of relationship RPs for any of my characters, but I headcanon that Lex had a casual-but-not-really girlfriend back in Silvermoon who may or may not make a future appearance (probably just in stories because christ knows I am far too broke to multibox & can barely cope with emoting for a character and a pet at one time in-game)

💔: I don’t think this is what this question meant at all (again, because I don’t even dabble in relationship RP at all I don’t really have ships to pick from!) but I think Nenkoka wouldn’t be any fun to play in a relationship. She’s too blunt & externalizing, so she’d ultimately be a shitty partner in a way that would just drag on and suck for everyone involved, even if that “everyone” was just me.

💢: God, Rouille can be so damn self-righteous and martyr-esque. She would fit right in with the demon hunters-- although she wouldn’t know it, since she’d be too busy trying to prove that actually she suffered more so maybe they should shut the hell up.

😈: I made Enzle give up her felhound when Sargaras tried to stab the world (long story, basically Enz went into fel for the specific purpose of getting a “puppy,” but realized when the world was almost destroyed by fel that she was dabbling with things far more powerful than she had acknowledged). It was ultimately a great way for me to get out of a choice I made early on that didn’t make a lot of sense in practice, but shit, it was hard to write my sweetest character losing the thing that meant the most to her.

😂: I once took Enzle to a brothel with her friends back when she worked at a bar-- Enzle is my most innocent & sweet character outside of my literal teenage OC, and she was, to quote Our Lord Of Perpetual Angst, not prepared.

💡: Early on, I definitely used RP as a way to process emotions & fears from the real world-- it was a great tool for that, but it made it hard for me to fully separate IC from OOC and ended up leading to weaker and less fun RP for everyone involved. I’m trying to come back to RP with a healthier sort of emotional & personal distance from it, so ultimately I’m trying to redefine what inspires me (which is maybe one reason I’ve had so much trouble getting inspired recently!) I think what consistently inspires me is that moment of “oh my GOD wait yes that,” when you’re trying to piece everything together to make an OC make sense and all of a sudden it falls into place and the character feels like more than just a thing you’re writing.

📷: OH MAN YOU’RE GONNA GIVE ME A CHANCE TO SHARE CHARACTER ART STRAP IN CUZ I’M GONNA ABUSE THE HELL OUTTA THIS (putting a read more here b/c this post is already long as hell & I have zero self control in re: limiting the number of pictures)

Rouille: (from the lovely @belly-goat)

I have never gotten or made a piece of Rou that captured her quite as perfectly as this piece. I can’t put into words precisely why it’s so incredibly much my favorite-- I suspect that it’s partially because the artist was one of the few people who RPed regularly with Rou before making this, and so that coupled with her talent gave her a better ability to capture the essence of the character.

Enzle: (made by me!)

I think this is probably the best piece of character art I’ve made (it may or may not be framed and hanging on my wall because I’m a NERD) so I gotta show it off a little! Enz is one of my favorite characters to draw personally, so she pops up a lot!

Lex (made by https://ladywyt.deviantart.com/)

Just like with the Rou image, this picture just captures Lex in a way that I’ve found extremely difficult to replicate (although I dearly love all the pieces of her I’ve gotten from my amazing artist friends!!!!) Something in her eyes is just so deeply *Lex,* and I really can’t put my finger on why, but I love it.

Nenkoka (made by Sillain on the WRA forums-- I never got a site to credit, unfortunately!)

Sometimes ya just gotta hang your plants from your horns, ya know? Like if you weren’t supposed to do that, why would you even have horns in the first place?

Thank you for the lovely ask, @latildarommel! Sorry it got so long, but it’s really well appreciated!

[hippityhoppityyourenowmyproperty]

Reset! Rant (part 3)

Chapter: 16

That familiar feeling of rage returned to him. His fist and teeth clenched and he had the urge to hit something, preferable someone. Bart was the first thing that came to his mind, but he had better control of his Impulses than his brother did. He couldn't let Thawne win.

This is another big hypocrisy moment. He is not better at controlling his impulses than Bart is. Whenever he gets angry, he starts insulting and picking on Bart. He hurt Bart before because he couldn't take Kon making fun of him, and while doing so, he made the mission more dangerous and more prone to failure. He let's his anger out on Bart every time, and he had multiple agressive outburst. He's not as in control as the story leads on.

Bart hopped to his feet and rocked on his heels. "I screw up all the time. Everyone says so. That's why I'm not supposed to do the hero thing without an adult. That's why I wasn't invited to join the Teen Titans."

"Are you kidding me?" Thad's tone was sharp and angry. "What business does anyone have in telling you you how to help people? What business do you have in even listening to them? I don't see you calling yourself Kid Flash and running at Wally's side like and obedient puppy. You're not a side kick."

...................................."In any case, we're more than capable of operating on our own. We don't need some nosy busybodies lording over us and expecting obedience just because of the legacy we inherited."

At the first glance, this looks like Thad trying to emotionally support Bart and make him feel better. At the second look, not so much. Let's untangle what exactly is happening in this conversation. Bart is explaining why he is still supposed to have adult supervision, namely because people think that he can't handle missions on his own and that he'll mess up. Then Thad argues that he's not a side kick and therefore no one should tell him how to do the hero thing. Which...doesn't really makes sense. It was said that the reason why people are convinced that Bart can't be a hero without some guidance is not because he's part of a legacy, it's because they think that because of his impulsiveness and trouble at focusing he will screw them up. They're not expecting obedience because Bart is part of a legacy, they're expecting a willingness of Bart to work with a mentor because he's not experienced enough and will mess up at being a hero, otherwise.

Thad is self-projecting here. If he didn't misunderstand the situation for being about legacy, he wouldn't have tried to make Bart feel better. I'm certain he's just saying this because he's angry about the legacy he is conected to. The only reason Thad rants about Wally is because it reminds him of his situation with his legscy, and not becaus he's mad at Wally for being mean to Bart. Again, Thad is doing this for himself.

Remember when I told you to keep in mind what Thad said about Bart somewhere in Chapter 11? "Bart lacks the capacity of forethought that is requiered in an operation like this"? Also remember how Thad is always insulting Bart's intelligence, criticizes him and says that he won't survive without him? So what about the "In any case, we're more than capable of operating on our own"? This is not Thad suddenly making a turn around and seeing the flaws of his thoughts he had earlier. Thad's always saying what fits his interests best. He changes his opinions on whatever suits him best at the moment. He's such an obvious hypocrit at this point. He's bending his opinions on whatever he needs them to be. This is one of the most in your face instance of Thad gaslighting Bart. Through denial, controdiction and lies relating to his actions and words, he's planting seeds of doubt in Bart. Thad is making Bart question his own perception of memory, perception of reality and his sanity, whether Thad is intentionally gaslighting Bart or not doesn't matter. It's still damaging.

Chapter: 17

Thad thumped his fist against the garage door. "At least I had Craydl before. Now, I'm stuck with you." He glared at Bart again.

Gosh what a horrible fate, Thad. I feel so sorry for you. No really, I can't fathom what an awful nightmare this must be for you! He can never be satisfied, can he? He can count himself lucky that Bart is tolerating his toxic behavior. He is stuck with Thad. Bart is the one who has to put up with his constant belittling and verbal abuse. No one forced Thad to stay at Bart's home, Thad just decided that it now be that way. If it bothers him so much he could've asked to stay with the Garricks. Which would've also made more sense for everyone involved because Jay has superspeed and can look after Thad in case he would try to kill anyone else again.

Also note how Thad is threatening Bart through his gestures.

"Besides, mom said I'm the big brother and that's what big brothers are supposed to do." Rolling his eyes, Thad snorted, "Thanks for the touching moment, but it's not making my situation any better."

This is a form of withholding. It's also condescending demeanor.

Thad clenched his jaw and fists and said nothing in return. He stalked back into the house, punching the doorframe as he passed by.

He threatens Bart yet again.

I'm pressing buttons", Thad snapped. "What does that accomplish? This-" He pointed at the television, "is frivolous. It does nothing!" Bart tilted his head, looking at his brother then the controller. Then, without a word, he punched Thad. Startled, Thad stared at him, and then noticed the surprised expressions on Jay's and Helen's faces. Bart stood up. "Well, aren't ya gonna hit me?" Thad eyed Bart warily and stood. "What is this? Is this a trick?"

"No I'm serious. Hit me." When Thad hesitated, Bart insisted, "Fighting game im real life. Right here." Helen sucked in a breath as she realized what Bart was up to. "Not in the house." Bart nodded and grabbed Thad's arm. "C'mom! I know a place that's still in Manchester." When they ran off, Jay tipped his head to Helen. "I'll keep an eye om them." Once the boys were sure that nobody other than Jay was watching, Bart faced Thad with a combative stance.

Thad struck with a punch and Bart blocked with his forearms. Jay stood aside and watched, ready to intervene in case the fight got out of hand. Every now and then, a particularly solid strike by either boy, he tensed up and stepped forward, but they would continue on as if there was nothing to worry about. As Jay watched, he saw Thad smile for the first time. It was a wicked, predatory grin, full of bloodthirsty pleasure. Bart wasn't smiling. Instead, it was taking everything he had to hold himself against Thad. Sparks of static and stray speed force lightning trailed after them. Then Thad slipped past Bart's defenses and slammed down with an elbow and up with a knee. The next thing Bart knew he was looking up at Jay's concerned face. The elder speedster held out an arm to halt Thad. Thad's yellow eyes gleamed and he was still smilling, spoiling for more. Jay held out his other hand to help Bart to his feet. "You all right, son?"

This whole scene is so wrong, in so many ways, for so many reasons. Yes, you read this right. Bart suggested that Thad beat him up in order to let Thad get rid of his anger. Jay and Helen hear this offer, and say fucking nothing about it. Once again, they're irresponsible and neglectful. Helen shows absolute zero concern for Bart's well being. For crying out loud, the first thing she says after she realizes what Bart's suggesting is: "Not in the house." I repeat, the first thing that comes to her mind after she hears that Bart offers getting beat up by Thad is: "Oh no! My poor house! Everything will be so messed up!" I mean, damn. You have to be a really neglient, bad parent when you're more concerned with the state of your house than with the physical and mental health of your child. Helen and Jay should have been disgusted and put off by this offer. Helen should have said something along the lines of: "If Thad has anger issues, then that is his problem to work through, not yours. It's not your responsibility to keep his emotions under control. You are not his personal punshing bag, and you shouldn't put his well being before your own. No one expects you to make sacrifices like that for him." But nope, she is more afraid of what will happen to her precious kitchen than of the fact that Thad might break every bone that Bart has in his body because he feels like it. They both know what Bart is suggesting, and they don't see anything wrong with it whatsoever. They should have been horrified by this suggestion.

And keep in mind: This all happens after Thad killed the clone and almost killed Max and Bart. Helen knew of both altercations. She knows how brutal and vicious he can get. She knows that Thad is quick to violence, so why isn't she more concerned? Wouldn't she be at least a little scared that Thad might kill Bart because he can't control his brutal urges again? The only resonable explanation I can find is that she doesn't care about Bart. That's why she let's this happen, that's why she allows Thad to emotionally abuse Bart and call him names right in front of her eyes. She never makes Thad apologize for what he does to Bart, not even once. I don't like accusing her of favoritism, but that is what it looks like. Seeing how dispicable Thad's actions and words are is not that hard. Helen should have noticed by now. Jay isn't much better in this. He watched until Thad hit Bart so hard that he fainted and collapsed. I know that I couldn't stand idly by while watching a kid beat up another kid until he lost his conciousness and still feel like a good person.

If you think that we've hit rock bottom yet with this scene, think again.. Jay's and Helen's complete lack of concern makes Bart's actions seem like this was a healthy, acceptable way of helping people deal with their anger. That this is something normal in a sibling relationship. Worse, that offering someone to hurt you so that they can relieve their anger is something that is expected of you. A relationship where one part is expected to take responsibility for the other's negative emotions is a twisted, damaging one. You get what this is saying? "Someone's anger justifies them hurting and beating you up." This is just as bad as "abuse justifies abuse" (Which is also being taught here.) God, those are terrible, atrocious morals to teach to people. What Helen should have done with Thad the moment he moved in with them was taking him to an anger management class and getting him a good therapist, not ignore/encourage Thad's abusive tendencies.

Jay sat down at the table. "He's not as mean as his brother though. That kid...For his own grandfather to make him like that..." Jay shook his head with a frown. "If I ever get a chance to meet that man..." He clenched his fist on the table. "I hope I never do."

"Same here", Helen replied.

Seems like Thad's not the only one who takes a liking to being hypocritical and two-faced. This makes total sense, talk about poor Thad and all the abuse he went trough, but completely ignore the fact that he is abusing and actively inflicting pain on Bart right now. They're furious about what Thawne did to Thad, but when Thad does the same things to Bart it's totally okay and fair. In case you couldn't tell, this is a shit moral. Stop trying to justify abuse by saying that the abuser has been trough a lot and just needs an outlet. Having been abused does not give Thad the right to ruin Bart's life. It does not give him the permission to be a toxic jerk to him. He should be held accountable for his actions. Abuse doesn't justify abuse.

Chapter: 18

"So, you don't know anything on how to properly maintain it." Thad snorted and rolled his eyes. "Wonderful. Do you know where engineering is? Take me there. I'll do what you neglected to do and actually learn about the mechanics of this ship." Bart opted to ignore Thad's nasty tone, brushing it aside as just how Thad talked.

....................................

"If I'll get lonely, I'll come visit." Thad snidely assured. Not wanting to listen to another degrogatory rant, Bart decided to just let Thad find the room on his own.

This is critizising and judging and a put down, delivered with a very very condescending tone and manner. Do me a favor and take a shot everytime you read the sentences "Thad snorted" or Thad rolled his eyes." You'll be drunk in no time, trust me. Bart has been exposed to Thad's emotional abuse so long that at this point he is willing to accept Thad's verbal abuse as normal.

Chapter: 19

Thad:"They probably got distracted by with something shiny."

Thanks again Thad, for enforcing hurtful insults and exaggerated stereotypes about people with ADHD.

Thad:"Moron! Can't you come up with something that simple?"

Again with the name calling and the put down linked to Bart's ADHD.

"He's a nuisance" grumbled Thad.

"Not that I've had much first hand experience, but that's what siblings generally are, from what I've heard."

"So wanting to strangle Bart is normal?" Cissi laughed. "Everyone's wanted to strangle Bart at one point or another. That's just him."

Oh now it all makes sense! It's Bart's own fault for being abused because he's so annoying! Remember folks, if you've been abused, it's your own fault. If you hadn't been so burdensome, they wouldn't have treated you this way. They can't be responsible for their actions, it has to be you! How can we expect them to control their impulses and get a handle on their anger? That really would be too much to ask of them. The victim is to blame for being abused, that's obviously the logical conclusion here, right? God I hate this fic so much.

This whole conversation serves one purpose: Normalizing and rationalizing Thad's repugnant behavior towards Bart. Look! This is how healthy sibling relationships work! This is how they're supposed to be! Except not really.

This conservation is actually very cleverly done, because it only shows Thad's oppinion while stimuntaneously making it seem like Cissi agrees with his values about relationships when she's really not. They're coming from two completely different points of views, but that is concealed here.

Starting with the "He's a nuisance."

"That's what siblings generally are."

I get her statement, there will be many times when one can get annoyed with their sibling and not find themselves in an abusive relationship. Every sibling pair fights and argues, that's in the nature of things. It only gets problematic when that's literally the only thing you do. When the only thing you are to each other is an annoyance and someone to get mad at. When every encounter with them ends in hurtful words and accusations. Indicating that your brother/sister is sometimes a nuisance in a playful, teasing way is fairly common in healthy sibling relationships. "Those 5 minutes before you were born? Haha, those were the best 5 minutes of my life." Something like this is normal. The problem here? Thad doesn't mean what he says in a sarcastic or playful way. He's completely serious with this. This is all he sees in Bart. An annoying idiot who always stands in his way. There's no sympathy and no compassion for Bart. Only unjustified resentment and hatred. See, in a positive brother or sister relationship the individuels really love each other. Despite the jokes they sometimes make about not wanting the other around, they see more in their sibling than an annoyance. Thad doesn't, and that's what Cissi misunderstands. Thad is dead serious about his feelings towards Bart in this conversation. All he sees in Bart is a nuisance he has to tolerate. He has nothing but contempt for him. He doesn't try to see more in him than that. Thad has no right to complain about Bart. He has been nothing but nice to him. Despite all the shit he put Bart through, despite Bart still tolerating and trying to support Thad in every way he could, Thad somehow still has the audacity, the arrogance to make himself out to be the victim in this situation. Thad is an abusive jerk to him, if anyone has the right to vent, it's Bart.

Moving on to the "So wanting to strangle him is normal?" argument. Feeling a desire to hurt your sibling 24/7 just for existing isn't normal. Cissi means what she say in a more playful, harmless way. None of Bart's friends would go through with harming Bart because he was annoying them. There's a big difference between wanting to do something, and actually doing something. Moreover, Cissi doesn't get that Thad would like to hurt Bart all the time and not only when he was being annoying. Thad wants to hurt Bart even when he is nice to him. Thad means it in a "If Bart looks im my direction one more time I might strangle him and I really don't care if I accidently suffocate him and he dies." Cissi doesn't. Thad is aggressive and violent to him for absolute no reason. The emotions Thad feels towards Bart aren't normal, not in the least. Stop trying to justify his abusive behavior.

And, I think this goes without saying, hurting someone solely because they're annoying you isn't okay, either.