#zero tracks stats

[blazehedgehog]

Soaking this in

If you don't know what this is, here's an explanation: Both Fortnite and Call of Duty employ something called "Skill-Based Matchmaking" (SBMM for short), and it has become the bane of a certain subset of players who very vocally yell about how it is ruining multiplayer games.

In short, the game secretly and quietly keeps track of your "skill level." Even if a game has both ranked and unranked modes, it is always tracking this skill level stat that reports back how quickly and easily you're getting kills. When you connect to a new match, it tries to group you with players near your skill level.

The idea being you start with zero skill stat, and by playing the game well, your skill stat levels up until you eventually plateau and you are forever playing the game with people that are just as good (or bad) as you are, within some level of variance.

This means if you're one of these career streamer guys or a Youtube clip compilation sort of dude (or both), then you very quickly get put into high tier matchmaking pools with all the other career streamers and wannabe esports pros. Hence the very loud, very vocal complaints, because if you're one of those guys, the idea of having a "casual match" goes away. Everybody is always firing on all cylinders and you're expected to do the same in order to keep your rank and not look embarrassing to your captive audience.

So Activision apparently ran an experiment per Charlie Intel (article here) where they reduced SBMM's effectiveness, meaning the big fish pros and the little tadpole casual players were thrown into more games together.

The result was a sharp uptick in players rage quitting matches early, some even quitting the game entirely and never coming back. The report notes that while player retention for players with a high skill rank was improved, they make up such a small percentage of the player base (apparently less than 1%; the article has some grammar problems) that servicing them really doesn't make sense.

As it turns out, low level players don't want to get hopelessly destroyed by wannabe esports pros. And those pros make up such a small percentage of the player base it doesn't make sense to keep feeding them more low level chum, even though they are the hungriest for it. As more and more low level players permanently leave the game due to frustration, it turns into a wasteland where high level players are getting mad at each other until they also get frustrated and leave as well. SBMM ensures long term health for a game's multiplayer ecosystem.

And being a Fortnite player, it's so validating to hear this. "SBMM is ruining multiplayer" was always a narrative coming from streamers and youtubers who were frustrated by having to actually TRY instead of being able to score easy clip compilation fodder on clueless newbies.

Enjoy sticking to your smurf accounts now, I guess.

[rosemaryhoney27]

Saint Danny of Gotham (Now With Suplexes!)

aka: He Said ‘Please’ Before Throwing a Man Into the River

Vlad was convinced now. Convinced that Danny was playing the longest, most chaotic, sugar-dusted con in existence.

Because everyone in Wayne Manor was falling for it.

Bruce had offered to let Danny shadow him on patrol. The man who trusted no one, not even his own toothbrush, had handed over a stealth suit and said, “Just keep to rooftops for now.” And Danny—sweet, shining, horror-child Danny—had nodded solemnly, promised to follow the rules, and then baked power bars for the Batfam before they left.

“Do not eat these,” Vlad warned, dramatically pointing to the bag. “They’re probably cursed. Or contain caffeine in unnatural quantities. Or powdered ghost pepper.”

Jason bit into one. “Mmm. Is that cinnamon?”

“They’re ghost-infused,” Danny said. “Boosts stamina and shields against low-level hexes.”

“I like this kid,” Jason said with his mouth full.

Later That Night: Gotham, 2:17 AM

It was a quiet patrol. Eerily quiet. Bruce was starting to feel unsettled. Not because there wasn’t crime (it was Gotham, come on), but because Danny was exactly where he was supposed to be.

On the comms, he sounded calm. Observant. Even helpful.

“Nightwing,” Danny said politely, “you’ve got a guy two roofs behind you holding a camera with a suspicious lens. Might be paparazzi.”

Dick checked. “Confirmed. You’ve got sharp eyes, kid.”

“Thanks! I used to have to keep track of invisible enemies and ghost wraiths back home, so spotting guys in beanies is kind of a vacation.”

Jason snorted. “Okay, but if he starts hovering again, I’m bailing. No one told me I’d be working with Casper.”

“Casper wishes he had my dodge stats,” Danny replied sweetly.

And then they reached the warehouse.

The intel had said “minor drug deal.” What it actually was? A gang-run blood ritual involving some kind of ancient Gotham artifact, two rogue mages, and at least one very punchable demon with a man bun.

Bruce was about to give the team orders when—

“Excuse me,” Danny said over the comms.

There was a crash. A scream. And a large, extremely tattooed man was suddenly airborne, launched straight through the air by a glowing teenager with a blinding smile and zero hesitation.

SPLASH. Into the river.

Everyone froze.

“…Did he just suplex a man into the Gotham River?” Tim asked.

“He said excuse me,” Steph whispered, horrified and impressed.

“He said please when he knocked the other guy out,” Damian muttered. “I watched.”

On the other side of the warehouse, Danny hovered above the last gang member, eyes glowing, voice still gentle.

“Hi. You seem like you’re rethinking your life choices. Want to surrender before I have to do more cardio?”

The guy dropped his knife and cried.

Back at the Cave

Danny was back in the kitchen, once again wearing his “I cook with spirit” apron, handing out celebratory cookies. Damian was scowling less. Cass had silently handed him one of her spare blades. Even Tim had given him the “you can’t be trusted, but I vibe with it” nod.

Bruce stared at the footage on the Batcomputer.

Danny, calm. Danny, efficient. Danny, using polite phrasing while delivering WWE-level combat moves with glowing fists and sparkles trailing behind him.

Vlad, across the cave, pointed furiously. “SEE? SEE?! Look at him! LOOK AT THIS!”

“He’s very polite,” Bruce said.

“He suplexed a man through the roof of a warehouse!”

“And said please.”

“HE BIT A SORCERER LAST WEEK.”

“He apologized after,” Tim added helpfully. “I checked the audio. He said, and I quote, ‘Sorry! That’s the ectoplasm talking!’”

“He vaporized a ghost snake in front of Commissioner Gordon and then offered him a tissue,” Steph noted, scrolling through her photos. “It was weirdly wholesome.”

Vlad slumped dramatically into the nearest chair. “I am surrounded by idiots. Gotham is cursed. My nephew is a gremlin in cherub’s clothing and I am losing my mind.”

Danny poked his head in, oven mitts on. “Uncle Vlad? I made brownies with ecto-marshmallow. Want one?”

Vlad opened his mouth to say something scathing.

Danny: 🥺

“…Yes, fine, but only the corner piece.”

Jason: “That’s right, he’s ours now.”

[strawbewiecake]

📌 what helps (no context necessary) 📌

Everyone asks “how do you stay on track” — here’s how. Take what fits. Ignore the rest.

1. Delay the decision.

Set a 30-minute timer. If it still matters after, fine. But most things don’t survive the wait.

2. Log everything.

You forget less when it’s in writing. Numbers > feelings.

3. Use small utensils.

Takes longer. Feels like more. Slows everything down.

4. Ice water. Always.

Cold = alert. Also makes the other thoughts quieter.

5. Mint > sugar.

If you want something sweet, go sharp instead. Gum, tea, oil, whatever.

6. Clean first.

Before anything else, tidy. It helps recalibrate.

7. Stand when you can.

Passive movement still counts. Don’t sit unless you’re earning it.

8. Plan out loud.

Even if no one’s there, narrate the plan. Hearing it makes it real.

9. Brush your teeth.

Twice minimum. It resets the mouth. You’ll want less.

10. Delay “first intake” as long as possible.

Once it starts, it gets harder to stop.

11. Track progress obsessively.

Whatever method works. Spreadsheets, apps, photos, stickers, scratches on the wall. Doesn’t matter.

12. Black coffee is a tool.

Bitter, hot, zero. Enough said.

13. Cut things small.

Visually it tricks the brain. Looks like more. Feels like less commitment.

14. Repetition = safety.

Same meals. Same outfits. Same schedule. Predictability keeps you in control.

15. Stay cold.

Blankets are earned. Heat is a reward.

16. Pick a uniform.

Avoid mirrors, avoid choices. Choose once, then stop choosing.

17. Never eat directly from packaging.

It’s chaos. Use a plate. Use a scale. Use a rule.

18. Save pictures.

Visual reminders of why. Make it a folder. Scroll through it when your brain gets loud.

19. Say no out loud.

Even if it’s just to the fridge. Out-loud “no” works better than silent guilt.

20. Delay. Again. Always delay.

Craving = momentary. Control = permanent.

21. Use liquids to kill time.

Tea. Water. Sparkling stuff. Sip constantly.

22. Keep your hands busy.

Paint nails. Fold clothes. Shred receipts. Idle hands spiral fast.

23. Don’t trust your mood.

Mood lies. Mood passes. Stick to the system.

24. Sleep earlier to avoid noise.

Late night = weak decisions. Just go to sleep. You don’t need that hour.

25. Check the stats.

Weigh in. Take notes. Keep score. It keeps you aware.

26. Routines over feelings.

How you feel doesn’t change what needs to be done.

27. Reward with non-food.

Playlist, candle, bath, nap, photo. But never what you actually want.

28. Watch people you want to be like.

Consume their content. Learn their habits. Copy until it sticks.

29. Replace "I'm hungry" with "I'm bored."

One’s real. One isn’t. You know which one wins.

30. Don’t keep “options.”

If it’s not in your space, it can’t tempt you.

31. No “just a bite.”

You know how that ends. Don’t start it.

32. Pause. Then pause again.

The second pause is where your power is.

📁 Reblog to keep this where you can find it.

💌 DM open if you want to swap more tips quietly.

[yeoldenews]

Hello! I was wondering how common or uncommon was the name Sage in the Regency, Victorian, and Edwardian eras?

Sage is my given name and I love those three periods of time and so I am very curious about this, but figured you would know more or at least be able to point me in the right direction of where to find this information since you’re a researcher.

My go-to resource for seeing name popularity over time is behindthename.com.

The United States has tracked name popularity since 1880, and behindthename has a great tool in every entry where they visualize that data. (They also have info available for quite a few other countries, though many of them only have data going back a decade or so).

Here is the visualization for Sage's popularity in the US.

As you can see, Sage is a VERY modern name.

It did not appear in the top 1000 names in the US until 1991 (as a masculine name) and 1993 (as a feminine name).

The highest it has ever ranked was #143 (as a feminine name) - or .11 percent of all given names - in 2022 and 2023 (the 2024 stats haven't been released yet). So 1 out of every 1100 AFAB babies born in the US in 2022/2023 was named Sage.

(In the invented terminology of my Regency name survey that would place it in 'D tier' for 2022/2023.)

Prior to 1880 the name appears extremely rarely. Sage is also a surname, and most cases I can find of it being used as a first name pre-1880 appear to be instances of a family surname converted to a personal name, e.g. John Smith married Jane Sage and named their son Sage Smith.

Most sudden increases in name popularity have what I refer to as a "patient zero" - a celebrity or fictional character with the name that causes it to spike in popularity. I was curious if there was a similar cause for the small, but noticeable spike in Sages that last few years, So I literally just googled "sage character". It's obviously impossible to prove causation without personally interviewing parents to see where they were exposed to/why they chose the name - but the increases in babies named Sage does coincide with the release of the video game Valorant which has a character named Sage, in 2020.

And no, I am not being facetious here - this is actually how name popularity works. Many, many common names owe their popularity - or even their existence - to fictional characters or celebrities. Just ask the 4000+ Khaleesis born in the last decade. I would not be named Samantha without Bewitched. Virtually all Beths owe their name to Little Women (chiefly the 1949 movie adaptation), Madisons to the 1984 Tom Hanks movie Splash, and all the Jessicas/Olivias/Mirandas/Imogens and many more out there can thank Shakespeare.

I'll be interested to see where Sage ranks in the 2024 stats.

Hope that was helpful!

[illusionremember]

I'm going through old fic from fanfictionnet and LiveJournal to put together some fic rec lists for a niche fandom whose heyday was pre-Tumblr and pre-Ao3, which is really fun, but also has me thinking again about the people that apparently filter on Ao3 according to hits, kudos, and comments because like... you guys realize that's completely inaccurate read on how good or well-loved a fic is, right?

Ao3's numbers & stats are not actually comprehensive for the individual fic or writer, and only reflects the attention they got on Ao3 according to when that fic landed there, which is not the same thing as its publication date.

For example, I found a fic on Ao3 that I remember reading on LJ more than a decade ago. I also tracked it down again on LJ (og posted 2007!) and it has 83 comments. It was written by a well-respected and beloved writer in the community. Meanwhile, they only recently this year crossposted this fic to Ao3, where it had literally 0 hits before I found it today.

Or like, for a more personal example, in April I cleared out my own fanfictionnet account. I'm still working on crossposting my work to preserve it, but because I backdate them to their OG date of publication, they also appear to be old fic with zero hits, kudos, bookmarks, or comments. Meanwhile on fanfictionnet I had roughly 90,000 hits and 500 comments spread across all my fic, altogether, across all the time that I posted there. None of that stats shows up on Ao3.

Hits/kudos/comment metrics are not an accurate measure of the quality of a piece of work. The backdating feature on Ao3 is valuable for accurate archiving, but if you're someone that pays attention to how much attention other people give a work, it can drastically skew your perception of those numbers. Backdating can also give the false notion that a work has been abandoned, when it's entirely likely that the author is actively thinking about or even working on their fic, but only recently crossposted it because when they wrote it they weren't on Ao3. And i see so many people saying they won't comment because they think it was made so long ago surely the author has forgotten it existed. I guarantee you that's not the case. Ao3 is still relatively recent in the grand scheme of fandom platforms. We may love it dearly for the security it has granted us, and the excellent tagging and filtering system, but It has never been the be-all, end-all of fandom. There's so much amazing work still out there on other websites. If you're in a niche fandom and not having any luck on Tumblr or Ao3, then maybe you need to look on fanfictionnet, or LiveJournal, or dreamwidth.

And stop obsessing over Ao3 stats.

TL;DR On Ao3 you should be determining the fic you want to read based on the summary & tags, not on kudos/hits/comment numbers. Those numbers are for the authors and mean literally nothing for readers.

[linkedin-offficial]

cats who are slugs ‼️ img text under the cut!

the crimson brother (mario)

blinding, and easy to spot, which causes ALL creatures to become hostile towards it.

however, its strength is immense in rebuttal

landing on enemies stuns them, and being bitten poisons the perpetrator

its jump is incredibly high and impressive, being higher than any other slugcat

the tattletail (goombella)

a squirrel like slugcat that can crawl along the ground at high speeds

capable of seeing the health and stats of all creatures nearby

the eyes of this slugcat can glow when in darkness

the chelonian (koops)

a chitin covered slugcat that is capable of hiding within its shell when threatened

while in its shell, no damage can be taken for a certain amount of time. after this time is up, the shell cracks and dmg can be taken again

it takes one cycle for the shell to heal up again

the larva (kid yoshi)

a slugpup that holds the incredible ability to eat or swallow any creature, no matter the size

despite this, it is still incredibly fragile, and will perish to any amount of damage taken

the misted (madame flurrie)

when threatened, it can emit a thick mist that slows down enemies or completely stops them in their tracks

a slugcat who is obsessed with pearls

obtaining pearls to keep will make it stronger and nimble

the burning shade (vivian)

a mildly transparent slugcat that lurks in the shadows to pounce on prey

its fur and body are sizzling to the touch, and when a beast inhales the smoke they emit, its throat begins to burn. its demise is soon to come

it dons a hat given to it by its mechanical creator, in hopes it helps the creature maintain a shadowed presence

the mollusk (admiral bobbery)

a small yet sleek slugcat that lurks in the swamps and waters

it dons a shell akin to a snails, and uses it as a hiding place and a shelter to sleep

when inside the shell, it can sleep for one cycle, make mini explosions that stun (again, like snails), and traverse bodies of water

like the rivulet, this slugcat can swim, and cannot drown

the thief (ms.mowz)

this slugcat is meek and nimble, capable of jumping exceptionally high, taking zero fall damage.

this slugcat has a passive buff that makes them less likely to be noticed by enemies, despite their leucistic appearance

if this slugcat is forced to attack or defend, biting an enemy will steal health for its own

[genericpuff]

All the cool kids use ComicFury 😘

Hey y'all! If you love independent comic sites and have a few extra dollars in your pocket, please consider supporting ComicFury, the owner Kyo has been running it for nearly twenty years and it's one of the only comic hosting platforms left that's entirely independent and reminiscent of the 'old school' days that I know y'all feel nostalgic over.

(kyo's sense of humor is truly unmatched lmao)

Here are some of the other great features it offers:

Message board forums! It's a gift from the mid-2000's era gods!

Entirely free-to-use HTML and CSS editing! You can use the provided templates, or go wild and customize the site entirely to your liking! There's also a built-in site editor for people like me who want more control over their site design but don't have the patience to learn HTML/CSS ;0

In-depth site analytics that allow you to track and moderate comments, monitor your comic's performance per week, and let you see how many visitors you get. You can also set up Google Analytics on your site if you want that extra touch of data, without any bullshit from the platform. Shit, the site doesn't come with ads, but you can run ads on your site. The site owners don't ask questions, they don't take a cut. Pair your site with ComicAd and you'll be as cool as a crocodile alligator !

RSS feeds! They're like Youtube subscriptions for millennials and Gen X'ers!

NSFW comics are allowed, let the "female presenting nipples" run free! (just tag and content rate them properly!)

Tagging. Tagging. Remember that? The basic feature that every comic site has except for the alleged "#1 webcomic site"? The independent comic site that still looks the same as it did 10 years ago has that. Which you'd assume isn't that big a deal, but isn't it weird that Webtoons doesn't?

Blog posts. 'Nuff said.

AI-made comics are strictly prohibited. This also means you don't have to worry about the site owners sneaking in AI comics or installing AI scrapers (cough cough)

Did I mention that the hosting includes actual hosting? Meaning for only the cost of the domain you can change your URL to whatever site name you want. No extra cost for hosting because it's just a URL redirect. No stupid "pro plan" or "gold tier" subscription necessary, every feature of the site is free to use for all. If this were a sponsored Pornhub ad, this is the part where I'd say "no credit card, no bullshit".

Don't believe me? Alright, look at my creator backend (feat stats on my old ass 2014 comic, I ain't got anything to hide LOL)

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So yeah! You have zero reasons to not use and support ComicFury! It being "smaller" than Webtoons shouldn't stop you! Regain your independence, support smaller platforms, and maybe you'll even find that 'tight-knit community' that we all miss from the days of old! They're out there, you just gotta be willing to use them! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[themeraldee]

Reader who's a loner, regularly has hallucinations that they just sorta deal with. One night they were on the roof of a skyscraper, kinda high/drunk (whichever your more comfy with) they hallucinates homelander, the convo kind goes like this

H: *clenching fist* wasn't expecting to see another person up here.

R: OH SH- hiii omigosh sorry you startled me, but hey how ya doin?

Homelander had come up there for some peace and quiet but was pleasantly surprised that this person didn't just annoy him, but actually had a good heart to heart with him, as they related to each others loneliness, he feels a sense of comradery he hasn't ever felt, making him emotional. homelander pulls out the old "I should go now, I have to fight crime." Excuse so he can go home and think about it. Over the span of two weeks he couldn't stop thinking of them. He didn't even know their name but hes like "their the one." Leading him to tracking them down. Now remember in the first half when I said they hallucinated him? Well It turns out they weren't hallucinating, he was completely real and they were actually talking to him that night, thinking "this HAS to be a hallucination". But no, now they have to deal with an obsessed homelander.

One of my favourite tropes is Homelander falling for someone with absolutely zero thought. He doesn't need a slow burn or get to know them better. Nah, he's all in. Whatever it is that clicks with him takes no time to settle and he's pursing them full throttle STAT.

The idea of reader continuously thinking that he's a hallucination would lead to some funny moments. Of course he's not real, this Homelander is a jerk, a real crude asshole. Only you would come up with something like that. Nothing like the sickly sweet persona they parade on the TV. And of course Homelander would be getting increasingly frustrated because you should be getting yourself just as obsessed with him! And you can't do that if you don't think he's real!

"Of course my hallucination of Homelander is a more fucked up version of him."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, look at yourself. You're a little crazy. Don't act like you do on TV. And that's a good thing really, so my hallucination gets a 1, real Homelander 0."

"For the tenth time I'm real!"

"Yeah yeah you've said. Still not done anything to prove it though."

So naturally, he kisses you, like he's been itching to do. And what was that if not a blanket permission.

"Woah woah woah, what the hell?!"

"You wanted proof. You got it."

And because your hallucinations never felt corporeal before you start freaking the fuck out. Because what do you mean it's been the real Homelander all along that you've been making yourself a fool in front of??

[fantasyfantasygames]

TECHNOLOGIC

TECHNOLOGIC, d4ffft, 2018

People will license the oddest things.

TECHNOLOGIC (capitals mandatory) is an RPG based on the work of Daft Punk. It's a cyberware game, but not cyberpunk, despite the name of the band. Your characters have quit their grinding day-to-day office or factory jobs, and are now traveling through a slightly trippy, slightly eccentric world to find meaning in their lives.

Attributes are, of course, Harder, Better, Faster, and Stronger. The last two are self-explanatory. Harder is the social attribute, and Better is the mental one.

Skills are taken from the title track, as it were. There's Buy It (wealth), Fix It (repair), Print It (crafting via 3d printers), Leave It (running), Pause It (for distracting people from what they're doing), Work It (sex appeal), etc. Some of them are overly broad, like Use It, which applies to almost all tech in a tech-heavy game, or overly narrow, like Jam-Unlock It in a game with no breakdown rules.

The game engine is very matrix-driven. It's actually pretty reminiscent of the FASERIP success table, if you're familiar with that. You roll, cross-index your stat and your opponent's stat, and end up with a colored result. From best to worst, the results are Fuchsia, Magenta, Indigo, Azure, Teal, and Lime. The first table might get you your final result, or it might tell you to roll on a second table. That might or might not send you to a third table. You get a handful of Get Lucky points, which can move you up to +3 shifts on your color result. The game has a mild "death spiral" (not that combat is a big part of the game), and penalties you pick up from Indigo or Azure successes slowly mean that you get a Fuchsia result and are out of the action.

I gave it a dozen or so rolls, and it seemed to work fine, but I feel like it's too much. It takes too long to resolve, and it takes too many rolls to get the final outcome. You could get the same results with a single, much simpler table and a d100 roll, or maybe contested d20 rolls and using the difference to determine success.

As the game progresses you pick up "Fragments of Time", which are moments that are particularly meaningful to your character. These serve multiple purposes:

They provide roleplaying fodder for how your character should act toward and react to other people.

They provide you a set of Get Lucky points that you can use in situations related to those specific moments

Adding or removing a Fragment gives you XP to spend.

That's probably my favorite part of the game. Those of you who have heard me wax rhapsodic about Tenra Bansho Zero and its marvelous character development mechanics probably guessed that already. (Seriously, read TBZ, the Kiai / Aiki / Fates / Karma loop is my favorite.)

Sadly, the book contains no art. The layout is decent, but apparently while d4ffft got permission to use lyrics and song titles they didn't manage to secure the rights to any imagery and decided to just go to press without it (which, fair). This is one of the few books I feel like could benefit from some early 2000s Poser art. It just feels like the exact right venue for it, you know? Put in some badly rendered metallic scenery with an overly-smooth facsimile of a human being.

@chubbycrowgames made a quick random character generator, so if you do happen to pick up TECHNOLOGIC there's some existing support for it.

[locria-writes]

I'm in love with your writing and stories. I saw your explanation for the personality, but what do the relationship numbers mean for the ROs exactly? Is it counting relationship points or just a specific number referring to a choice made?

Stats:

qls: 2|3|2 / gyx: 4|1|4 / sgz: 1

soft: 2|proud: 5|aloof: 15

personality c1 1 | personality c2 1

ooh you got a super stoic mc, anon, colour me impressed. i'd like to see someone top that lol

so this is what the code looks like

the first variable for each guy is probably not gonna be used, but it's basically tracking mc's affection for them. dunno what i wanna do with that info yet, but it's being tracked.

the second and third variables are pretty self-explanatory, tracking how much the guys trust mc, and how guilty qls feels/how devoted gyx is to mc.

so this is going to make zero sense without any context because i haven't said very much about the ending, but file this away if you want. those two variables are going to determine the endings, and i think i want them to offset each other. trust will be tracked against a suspicion stat, but i think if suspicion > trust, then i think the guilt/devotion stats should be able to offset the difference if i halve them. i'm not entirely clear on the numbers yet, hence why these are all openly tracked

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Who the Jackass Guys would Main in Mortal Kombat <3

Credit to @twiggibranch for the idea!!

Johnny- Johnny Cage

Instead of putting a ton of thought into stats and skill sets, Knoxville would probably pick his character based on if they were funny or interesting to watch,

I’m so totally not projecting here ahahah

Johnny is historically bad at tech/ video games, so I could see him learning one combo and abusing the hell out of it!

Said combo is 100% Ball Breaker (see first line)

Everyone gets pissed off but not pissed off enough to stop finding it amusing-

Also the sunglasses? The charming cockiness? Both movie stars? The names?! It’s meant to be!

Bam- Nitara

Gets ragged on for playing as a chick but, I mean- look at her! Sexy vampire lady!

I mean, who cares about iffy voice acting when you’ve got, uh… *checks paper* boobs.

Has missed at least one flight/meeting bc he gets so in the zone with video games it’s scary (like the Tetris story iykyk)

Him and Ryan are the only ones who take this seriously. Bam gets white knuckling, dead silent kinda competitive-

There’s been at least one close call with a thrown controller and several matches that devolved into some bullshit tiebreaker he insists on XD

Steve-O- Havik

Havik has that whole anarchy thing going on, which I think really tracks with Steve!

He picks his character based on who looks the most metal- can we be surprised?

Would be absolutely dog shit at the game and make up some excuse about “not putting time into something that won’t get him laid” lmao

Even if he’s not super skilled, he can (and often does) button mash like a mf!!

Steve only has time to kill for video games while he’s stoned, sitting on his shitty couch all quiet and focused with the exception of the occasional chuckle at the cartoonishly over the top violence ;D

Chris- Reptile

Come on, you’re telling me he wouldn’t wanna play as a badass, shape shifting lizard dude?

In addiction, I think Reptile is one of the kindest characters in the series, which in addition to Chris’ love of animals, would make him a pretty perfect fit!

Not a massive gamer, but he’ll pick it up when the weather’s too crappy for surfing and he’s got nothing better to do,

Gameplay wise, he really just does moves that look cool (or vaguely suggestive), but he doesn’t really care much about winning,

IMMEDIATELY gets killed to nobody’s surprise. But, hey- he has fun!

Ryan- Sub Zero

Ryan is a classic kind of guy, so he seems like he’d pick one off the OG roster!

He’s been playing as the same character since Dico showed him the game sometime in highschool and he’s never thought to switch it up

Which, speaking of, he’s definitely the guy to know all the cheat codes before you find out and will 100% abuse the shit out of them XD

WAY less competitive than Bam, but he would have those combos down like muscle memory

Speaking of him those two, they could easily stay up until the sun rises, eyes turning square from ‘just one more round’ing for hours lol

[kittybroker]

was bored and since i remembered some asks a while back about the average kitty price, i decided to take a whack at it. according to the 108 valid entries (alt currency kitties, set deals, fake kitties, and outliers like sub-dollar and hundred-plus-dollar kitties were all excluded), the average kittybroker-d kitty costs around $22.50! (90 shiny kitty quarters. they are worth quite a few gumballs...)

This doesn't surprise me really given I sort of keep track of what the kitties are valued at. I would suspect the median is a little lower though and there isn't really need to exclude outliers with the median. Probably a bit closer to $15-18 if I had to guess. I haven't actually done any stats though and know a few other interesting things would likely pop up if you plotted it. One of the more interesting ones is which numbers are more frequent. Certain numbers roll of the tongue better so I know I use those more often. I rarely use anything from 0-10 cents following a number and numbers ending in zero are rare. Certain other ones like 0.49 or 0.98 are more common because of how typical market pricing works. There would also be a huge funny spike at 14.53 because I got a bit silly with it.

[bl-bracket]

Anyways I was going to make a post about the process of picking bracket topics and whatnot and was trying to come up with some examples of types of topics that would or wouldn't work and for whatever reason I thought of the concept of a "best murderer bracket" and I can't stop thinking about it lmao

it's just like such a funny concept? the idea of fictional murderers battling it out, especially ones from bls (which like I don't think is most people who are not super familiar with the genre as having a lot of characters who have killed people) is just funny in like an absurd way. like abstracting yourself from tumblr and tournament blogs, the idea of telling someone else that there's a tournament going for fictional murderers from east asian mlm tv shows, a genre that for several years was primarily shows about high school and uni students.

anyways that devolved into thinking about it more seriously, and then deciding a more practical way of doing it would to make some kind of directory of bl murderers. which would then lead to a lot of interesting statistical analysis, like characters with highest on screen kill counts, which countries have the highest proportion of fictional killers, etc. you can then make a separate category for characters with implied kills that aren't explicitly shown on screen or vague. and you could track how the number increases over time, which I assume exponentially goes up as more bls are exploring darker and more serious genres.

anyways back to the country stats, I started thinking about what the breakdown would look like so here's my guess based on zero research and just my general knowledge of shows

China. While having very few bls (censored or otherwise), they have a very unfair advantage and that is genre conventions. The 3 biggest Chinese bls I can think of are: The Untamed, Word of Honor, and Guardian. With The Untamed and Word of Honor, the conventions of xianxia and wuxia genres means that there are a lot of characters and almost all of them have killed before (usually nameless canon fodder but still). And then with Guardian, it's a supernatural detective mystery show with murder plots in it and a lot of characters, which again leads to a pretty high kill count. So even only counting these 3 shows, China will probably have the most killers in bl, or at the very least most kills done.

Thailand. It's a numbers game on this one. There's just so many Thai bls and an increasing number of like detective or mafia ones. A show like Kinnporsche has a lot of killers and deaths. Then there's other shows that include a few murderers (but less than Kinnporsche) like The Sign, Manner of Death, 4 Minutes, 3 Will Be Free, Never Let Me Go (Palm did shoot a couple guys dead elt's nto forget), Dead Friend Forever, etc. However the numbers also hurt Thailand in terms of proportions, since there's a lot more Thai bls that don't have murder, so it actually might be 3rd.

Japan. You're not getting much murder from your Cherry Magics and Old Fashion Cupcakes, which is what a significant portion of bl fan's primary exposure to Japanese bl is, but let's not forget that there's a lot of dark Japanese bls where murder is definitely on the table. Now I don't actually have a good gauge of what the numbers on this is, cause I haven't really delved that deep into this corner of the bl market, so I can't make a good estimation but I bet there's more than I'm aware of.

Taiwan. They've got a couple of mafia shows like HIStory 3: Trapped and Kiseki: Dear to Me, both of which have some implied and explicit murder (though less then you would expect if we're honest). That'll give them a few kills and they also have a relatively smaller pool of shows to pull from, meaning percentage wise it's a bit higher.

South Korea. Ok I am far from an expert of bls from South Korea, but unless there's like obscure short films I'm not aware of, the only drama I can think of from here with kills is Long Time No See? or I guess The Director Who Buys Me Dinner has like 1.5 murders? anyways Korea also has a not insignificant amount of bls to their name so proportionally it will be quite low.

The Philippines. Out of all the countries on this list, I am least familiar with the bls from here, but from what I've gathered during my routine mdl searches, basically all of them seem to be murder-free (unless of course there's some shocking plot twists in them)

anyways I'll probably never do this project just cause it would require a lot of time and collaborative effort and I've got a lot irl going on right now (hence why the submission period for most whipped is so long lol) and also have some other projects I'm already planning on doing so I don't really have time to do it. but I wanted to tell y'all about my thoughts on the matter.

also sorry if this is the weirdest thing I've ever posted. kinda had a major stress breakdown today but then resolved it relatively quickly cause I realized I could just reschedule the life altering appointment that was causing the breakdown lmao so I'm in a strange frame of mind lol

[wehangout]

Shameless DVD Commentary

The wonderful @i-think-you-mean-reduction asked for a DVD commentary on Suncatcher! This was the first time I'd read it since finishing, so that was a lot of fun, too! This whole thing got away on me, so hit that read more if you want to read more ��� as usual, thanks to @callivich for starting this awesome idea!

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

Suncatcher!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Okay, I started posting this in March of 2022, which leads me to believe I started writing it in 2021 (I'm on a borrowed laptop, so can't check). It took some time to finish because ~real life~ and word count hits 58,592.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Oooh, okay. This post. If you don't want to click, it's a text post saying "au where thief!cas tries to ride dean's dick and keep track of when his flashdrive is done stealing the contents of dean's computer at the same time". Obviously, that kind of scene never happened in Suncatcher, but vibes, you know?

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mostly Mickey because almost everything I write is Mickey pov. But I did experiment with this by writing those 3rd person Ian snippets, and literally the only reason for it is so the reader could be there for that moment of realisation when Ian figures it all out.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I don't know that I have one, but I really enjoyed the scene where Mickey asks Ian to come to Mexico. Getting to write them being soft, even just for a minute, was nice. And literally any of their flirty banter was fun to write lol.

How did you come up with the title?

I feel like this doesn't need an explanation, lol. I will say, though, I had three other titles in mind. I had "Denouement", "Encontrar", and "Atrapasol". Encontrar means "to find" in Spanish (because I knew it would end with them in Mexico), while "Atrapasol" means "suncatcher". At least, according to Google translate lmao.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I did a reread in order to write this commentary, so, please, have a list of moments, foreshadowing, and references.

* Mickey's nautical-themed sleeve! “Sailing? Nah, man. I just really like pirates.” Get it? Because he's a thief? And pirates steal shit? Literally no one caught onto that haha * “Uh … growing up the way I did, I’m probably better at the B&E itself rather than tryin’ to solve it.” -- Mickey literally says this in the first chapter lmao * His mind doesn’t go over every detail of the North Side burglaries and he doesn’t obsess over the thief committing them. No thief. Just a bartender. Just Mickey. -- Um, hello? * “Never gonna give that up, are we?” “Never gonna live it down.” “Those aren’t the lyrics.” “Okay, lyric police.” -- 27 Dresses, thank you * Ahh, Mickey's blowjob tattoo. The amount of erotic tattoo designs I looked at for this, but nothing was right. Until Mitch 💜 * He snorts. “Clearly you don’t know many writers.” “I don’t. Should I?” “No. They’re the worst.” -- I'm dying 😂 * Well, this really has turned into a commentary, huh? Apologies. * "A little dry, to be honest." Chapter 3 and 9. Did anyone catch that?

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The last two chapters. Life completely turned upside-down on me and I couldn't write a thing. Zero motivation, infinity depression. Then, at the beginning of this year ... I dunno. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I was writing again and I haven't stopped yet.

Favourite line in the story?

“Catch me if you can, motherfucker.”

“Two, I give you the keys to the cuffs and leave. But first I suck your dick until you come down my throat.”

“I’ll give you what you want, Red, you just have to decide what you want more; the thief, or his mouth?”

“I didn’t do anything,” he whispers. “You did everything, Ian.”

“Interesting,” he says. “I was already half in love with you by then.” 😭

“I’m gonna fuck you now. You know that, right?” You groan and drop your head. “You might just break my fucking heart if you don’t, Gallagher.”

“So long as that lover is you, Gallagher.”

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

Yeah, but only chapters 9 and 10. Initially I was going to write Ian having a depressive episode and Mickey talking to him about everything while he was down, but I hated the idea. I didn't want it to seem like Mickey/the thief was the cause of his episode, and I also didn't want to use it as a tool. The idea changed into a possible attack on Ian, but that still wasn't working for me. So, instead, you got the scene with Mickey handcuffed and Ian asking questions. I switched the vulnerability around and made it way more fun.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

Nah. A little crime with my romance is my go-to lol

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

Finishing it. Kidding. Kinda. Not really.

Actually, though, the dialogue and banter is pretty good. It reads very natural, so I'm proud of that.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

Only what I mentioned above. I wrote the attack on Ian, Mickey sitting with him in hospital ... it wasn't good.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

Oh, the moment where Ian finds the camera and leaves it. He'd just heard Mickey tell him that he stopped watching before things got interesting, and that's what he's thinking about as he puts the camera back down with a smirk. About Mickey not stopping just as things get interesting. I had thought about writing it, too. A scene where Mickey doesn't close the laptop, working consent into it and Ian putting on a fucking show

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I don't think so. I'm pretty happy with most of it.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Kinda did. Wouldn't be opposed to doing more. All the cream pie banter I'm rereading is def giving me inspo for if I write more of them oops

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

I think I mentioned this in the commentary for Thicker Than Forget, but Jim Morrison/The Doors lyrics. I don't know, man, it just works for me haha.

Also the name thing - Gallagher/Ian/baby and Mickey/Mick.

There's also the line "It’s gone from bartender and customer having a bit of fun flirting and teasing, to silk sheets and Nine Inch Nails pounding through the speakers." - The NIN might be a reference to Help Me (Tear Down My Reasons) 😏 iykyk

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Excited. Probably more excited to post ch2, though, just for the reaction to Mickey being the thief haha

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

@whaticameherefor always 💜

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

@i-think-you-mean-reduction asked for the scene where Ian asks Mickey on a date which I've pasted below.

A couple of notes on it:

The Riverwalk Cocktail Festival is a real thing in Chicago

I put a stupid amount of research into finding them the perfect date and this just fits.

Reading it back, I love that the Mickey doesn't think of the thief or anything to do with that shit once during this conversation. It's just two guys who like each other, and one's asking the other out on a date. It's just happy.

I think Mickey was so surprised that Ian was asking him out that everything he said and felt and thought was genuine. He even has a moment of "Fucking finally" that he doesn't mean to say, but 100% means.

I'm sad they never did it.

“Just my gut.” He pauses. Smiles. “Speaking of … in the interest of trusting my gut with my personal life as well as my professional life, have you heard of the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival next month?” Your heart skips a beat. Yeah, you’re heard of the fucking festival, and you can’t believe Ian’s doing this. “I’ve been a few times,” you tell him. “Sandy and I go under the pretence of work, and then get shit-faced.” “Okay, so do you maybe wanna go again?” He fingers go back to the coaster, but again he keeps eye contact. “But, you know, with me instead of Sandy.” There’s nothing romantic about the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival unless you go to the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival with romantic intentions. If you go with a date then it’s stupidly fucking romantic and you and Sandy used to talk shit about those assholes every chance you got, but … But the idea of being one of those couples, of going with Ian and having it be romantic … it makes you sick to your stomach how much you like the idea. “You askin’ me on a date, Gallagher?” He stares at you, eyes wide and honest. “Yeah.” “Fuckin’ finally.” You don’t mean to say it. You think it and you mean it, but you don’t mean to say it. Ian’s smile, though, makes the slip worth it. “So that’s a yes?” “Yeah.” “Good.” He smiles. Fucking beams. “Because I’ve already bought tickets, so I would’ve been kinda fucked if you’d said no.” “You already bought tickets?” “Some might call it presumptuous; I call it optimistic.” You shake your head. “Ian, man, those tickets are expensive as fuck –” “Doesn’t matter.” “Matters. At least let me pay you back for mine.” You already know he won’t let you pay for both of them. “Not a chance. This is me trusting my gut, asking you out, and feeling really good about it.” A smile pulls at the corner of your mouth. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah.” He smiles right back. “You wanna pull me out of that good feeling, the one I get when you agree to go on a date with me, by bringing up my money woes? Or do you wanna talk about our date and agree upon matching outfits?” “You better be fucking joking.”

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

So, as mentioned above there was a good chunk of time where nothing was updated. If you were someone who left a kudos or a comment or messaged me on here during that time, or even continued reading when I finally updated, please know it meant a lot.

[sebthechosenone]

I watched Nintendo direct so you don’t have to

Games coming

Borderlands 4 in 2025 on switch two

Civilization VII on switch two

WWE and NBA 2k coming 

Survival Kids???

Gungeon 2

Starseeker 2026

Deltarune coming? Chapters 3 and 4

Cyberpunk 2077

Final fantasy VII remake

System overview

Big screen, same thickness

High def

120 FPS

HDR Support. Vivid

Joycon magnetic

Bigger sl sr buttons

Larger control sticks

You can use the joy cons as a mouse

Better audio

Built in mic for voice chat

3D audio makes it immersive

New stand that’s adjustable

Two USB ports, one on top and one on bottom that can be used for charging or connecting an extra camera

256 gigabytes of storage

New dock with better support

Better cooling for the mechanics on the dock

Compatible most Nintendo switch games

ZELDA GAMES DAMN YEAH

BOTW IS COMPATIBLE

SO IS TOTK

DETAILS FOR THE SWITCH TWO VERSIONS:

Faster loading for them both

YOU CAN CARRY OVER SAVE DATA FROM THE SWITCH! 

You can have two save files so you can have more than one file

ZELDA NOTES FOR THE NINTENDO SWITCH APP?? It has navigation to help find shrines and Koroks with a voice guide. SIRI FOR TOTK??? Voice memories that unlock at certain places and add more to stories. 

You can share auto build with QR codes lollll scan with Zelda notes

ITEM SHARING WITH QR CODES TOO? Bro also with Zelda notes. If I get this I’m sending you so many crappy boko horns (NAME REDACTED) lol.

Photo EDITING with Zelda notes obvi

My Play Data records stats for performance so you can brag. You can earn metals for it in the Zelda notes App. It’s in the app too btw.

You can see your records ranked in global play data in the Zelda apps and look at your trends

You CAN SPIN A WHEEL IN THE ZELDA NOTES APP TO GET EXTRA ABILITIES FOR THE DAY.

You can scan amibo and Zelda notes tracks it. Once you use it five times you get an extra use

They’re making TOTK sage amibos 

ALL OF THIS IS ONLY FOR THE SWITCH TWO EDITIONS! YOU CAN UPGRADE THEM BY BUYING UPGRADE PACKS OR FOR FREE WITH AN ONLINE SUBSCRPITION.

GAMECUBE

they’re adding GameCube for the switch two!

WINDWAKER, soulcalibur WITH LINK LOL, F zero GX ARE COMING WITH IT!

You can customize controls

They’ll add more titles in the future

They’re making a GameCube controlleri

Mario kart

New cars and maps I think

A LOT OF NEW MAPS

You can ride on rails now!

New characters?

NEW POWERUPS AND OUTFITS!

It’s a whole world now

The cars have wings now no gliders :(

Weather and time of day changes now randomly

You don’t have to stay on the track, you can drive anywhere

There’s 24 in each race

Free roam lets you drive anywhere, no competition woah.

Scenic drives with friends

Take photos at new locations

Luigi is hot in that farmers outfit dayum

Actual direct now

Tetsuya sasaki is kinda hot too

There is a c button on the right controller for chatting online with ppl, even while playing different games. You can share screens while chatting. You can change game screen size while chatting or make others screens bigger. The Lava guy in the chat is hot too omlll. THERE IS ALSO A CAMERA SO YOU CAN SEE PPLS FACES. 

You have to have Nintendo online you need a membership.

Gameshare requires only one console with a game, with any of the switches including light. 

To transfer data, you can log into Nintendo account and transfer digital games, save data, and setting things I think.

It will launch June fifth 2025 YAYAYAY

You can play Tendo switch 2 games, compatible switch games from the first, and switch 2 edition, aka special versions of games.

Both BOTW and TOTK Special Edition will have enhanced visuals, HDR, and Zelda notes. Zelda notes is EXCLUSIVE to the Switch Two Editions. 

Kirby forgotten land will get a new story for Switch Two Edition.

Metroid Prime 4 Beyond Special edition will have mouse controls and enhanced visuals.

Pokémon Legends ZA will have both versions. 

Special editions are available as both physical and digital. You can buy an upgrade pack if you have the dumb poopy original version.

Wheelchair basketball with mouse controls, aka Drag n Drive lol.

New games include: ELDIN RING. OK. Hades II, Street Fighter Six, Daemon Maxim (??), Split Fiction, EA sports, Hogwarts Legacy (ok?), Tony Hawks Pro Skater 3+4, Hitman World of Assassination, JAMES SHUCKING BOND in Project 007, Bravely Default Flying Fairy, Yakuza 0 Directors Cut

ZELDA GAME NEW ZELDA GAME

YOU PLAY WITH ZELDA IN THE ANCIENT PAST 

YOURE IN THE ANCIENT PAST

MINERU HAS A MOTORCYCLE

HYRULE WARRIORS AGE OF IMPRISONMENT.

NO SHUCKING SHOT.

It takes place in the Ancient Past of Tears of the Kingdom when Zelda gets sent to the past lol and you get to play as Rauru, MINERU, Zelda, and prob some other people.

MORE GAMES: Final Fantasy Seven, Path of Goddess, hollow knight silk song, story of seasons grand bazar, goodnight universe, two point museum, wild hearts5, witchbrook, puyo puyo, marvel comics invasion, starwars outlaws, fast fusion, shadow labyrinth, RAIDOU Remastered: mystery of the soulless army, No Sleep for Kaname Date- from AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES, Reanimal, Shucking Fortnight, Arcade Archives 2 Ridge Racer, Professor Layton and the New World of Steam, Tamagotchi Plaza, Human Fall Flat 2.

The LAST GAME: The Duskbloods. It’s creepy looking and looks awesome tho OML. It’ll come in 2026. 

There will be more games but they haven’t announced them.

Wait there’s more???

Kirby Air Riders (Mario kart but Kirby lol)

Allegedly the last game but they’re being difficult: Donkey Kong Destroying Natural Ecosystems for Profit! Jk, it’s actually called Donkey Kong Bananza. Some fugly guy steals Donkey’s Mining Tycoon, so he tries to steal it back.

TLDR

switch on June 5 2025

Many new games

Zelda is going to be amazing

This is going to be amazing.

[gold-rhine]

Well, if its not a bother! Any comments on my build? I know there is a room for improvement but also checking in with experts to make sure im on the right track.

The artifacts are a WIP. im thinking more CDMG and HP and ER? I think he needs better rolls just in general. Going to get his weapon eventually but zhongli’s spear scares me ngl, this is the other alternative i have since the prototype is with Kokomi and i relay on her a lot idk…

(He is in teams with Furina, kazuha and a flex typically but also he is new so im figuring things out)

(Don’t look at the talents im working on them lol)

its really good already! you have 50% hp from just substats, thats crazy tbh. thats like second hp sands slot.

about the stats priority, i dont think you need more er, neuvi can function with like zero er in double hydro, esp if there a fav weapon on a team. i've been soloing abyss with 130 ER. so like if you happen to have er, its good, but its not priority, and 120 is more than enough

40k hp is also enough tbh. i think you can sacrifice some hp for crit damage. esp bc you play him with hydro res, it means on field he gets even higher hp, like probably about 42k? crit damage is more valuable now.

but dont throw away current artifacts anyway, bc if you eventually get it, signature weapon on that build would make it insane bc you immediately get 300 crit damage with like 40k hp in double hydro. i had to roll hp hat to get so much hp and you got it all from substats :D

actually in your place i would experiment with using widsith instead, bc you already have so much hp rolls in substats, crit dmg weapon i would think will be better. if its not better, then keep current one, its like about as good as amber. amber is better if you struggle with ER, but you already have pretty good ER, so like dont worry.

with teams, you already have good basis with furina and kazuha, and like yeah, you can use basically use anyone in flex spot. best options are xilonen or zhongli for res shred or like just natlan support to activate natlan set. if you need kazuha on second side, you can use jean on full vv instead, it would get furina's stacks faster