#zeno can vent

[extraterrestrial-exclaim]

Here I go!

Hello reader! I am extraterrestrial exclaim! You can call me Zeno though! I go by He/Them and love meeting new people. Art requests are allowed! Hopefully I am able to do this right ^^”

[illegiblewords]

Almost current in Dawntrail, I make some references to plot stuff under the cut but this post isn't mainly about Dawntrail. This is an analytical rant. There are people who disagree with me that I adore/respect to bits who have done brilliant stuff from angles I wouldn't take. People shouldn’t stop doing what they’re inspired to do according to whether I like or dislike something. This post qualifies less with 'I think' and 'I believe' statements/is a little harsher because I'm venting though. Proceed at your discretion.

Features critical/darker discussions of Venat and Hermes with brief mentions of Zenos.

I really, genuinely think a lot of people are only getting pieces of what's going on in FFXIV.

The story still isn't black and white. Characters very, very often are not what they advertise themselves to be. Neither the cast nor fans are immune to misjudging.

Hermes is not as compassionate as he presents himself. There is an enormous discrepancy between what he professes and the choices he consistently makes, both with regard to other ancients and creations. I do believe he was genuinely miserable but he is basically Satan from Paradise Lost, who wonders why he alone was made unsatisfied with obedience and perfection. Who recognizes there is difference in himself compared to others but is conflicted about whether this is a defect or higher calling. Satan sees himself as inherently 'other' above all else and Hermes is just the same. The shared snake imagery isn't a coincidence either.

Everything I've seen points to Hermes being a narcissist who does not have instinctive empathy in a society where empathy is the most valuable quality a person can have. He strives to have more empathy than all other people without truly understanding what that means. It's why he projects his anger and hatred onto the wolf creation as it dies instead of offering it any kind of comfort. It's why he sends Meteion into space to suffer pain, death, and despair as a high empathy being who challenges all concepts of what it means to be alive… instead of presenting her to the Bureau of the Architect, where her very existence might instigate star-wide reform for how all other creations are handled. For his ego, he needed to be the only one with extensive knowledge of dynamis. He needed to be the only one with answers from on high regarding the nature of life. That was far more important than Meteion's wishes or well-being, and the creations he claims to love are expendable for this purpose. He frequently oscillates between seeing himself as beneath all other ancients and the sole, divinely powerful judge/jury/executioner of all living things. Like Satan from Paradise Lost he can't be grouped with those around him. He can't be just one of many ancients dealing with fears, doubts, despairs. He MUST be exceptional above all else. I'd argue the main reason he accepts the Warrior of Light at all is because we do not appear as a fellow ancient to him--he sees us as a familiar, and therefore inherently without equal authority and agency compared to him. When we are useful to his worldview he uses us and when we aren't we're disposable.

I've seen people claim that Hermes is just anxious and that's why he didn't submit Meteion. You don't opt for genocide and decree all of humanity as immoral and unworthy of mercy without even allowing your targets a voice to answer out of anxiety. You certainly don't do that while having specifically gone out of your way to avoid any steps that might have given room for more charitable judgments. Hermes opted to destroy everyone because it was what he wanted to do, but it didn't fit his self-image as a benevolent and empathetic person to do so. That's why he made a loophole via memory erasure.

Venat, further, is not a hero. She's gray at best and in all likelihood a pretty dark shade of it. Light motifs and crystal mommy themes do not change this. She not only decided, independently, that Hermes' genocide was an appropriate course without allowing anyone else room to discuss or address the issue--she actively denied everyone else knowledge of what happened or even basic information about dynamis (LET ALONE METEION'S LOCATION) so they could deal with the issue effectively. She passed judgment on the entire Convocation because of Hermes' appointment without once judging herself for withholding information on his true character. There is a reason Emet-Selch called her out for being immediately ready to see herself as a morally correct messiah of the star. He wasn't wrong to do so. And especially after Endwalker I think Venat grossly misunderstood not only what led to worlds self-destructing on a philosophical level (never mind Meteion's emotion amplification powers), I think she misread her own star and its people. Pursuit of purity and certainty was what led to the destruction of worlds. The total absence of pain is just one form that can take, but it isn't necessary for a world to be in perpetual agony to avoid that. Venat dismissed the despairs and struggles of her own fellow ancients because there was no room for them in the view she had of herself and her world. If she didn't see them they didn't exist, but even when she did see them they didn't count enough to sway her judgment. Venat had to be the most correct person and she didn't allow even as Hydaelyn the possibility of making mistakes or unwarranted cruelty to others. She is 1000% guilty of 'ancient hubris'.

Venat might be a more middling gray, in my view, depending on whether she'd been trying to shield as many people as possible from tempering with the traveler's ward only for most of the star to become tempered by Zodiark post-summoning. There are a lot of repeating phrases between Elidibus, post-Final Days ancients, and the lunar shades that I think point to mass tempering. Venat would have grounds for assuming people had homogenized views, prayers, and voices if the star was largely tempered. If they weren't, I think she becomes pretty sinister for how she deals with people's post-Final Days trauma. Her injustice toward the ancients in that case would just happen to be in a way that benefits the shards.

The Zodiark plan prevented life from going extinct. It was necessary. Zodiark's tempering and the subsequent sacrifice spiral were not deliberate I suspect, seeing as Zodirk was the first primal EVER. People have been consistently misreading the loporrit quote on this to try and argue that Zodiark didn't temper the Unsundered.

The line states that Venat used a different summoning technique to the one utilized by Ascians. Venat's technique specifically does not temper people. The Ascian method does. If Venat's technique was used to summon an entity of Zodiark's magnitude (whose power could not be resisted according to Emet-Selch) there might be a slight tug toward tempering despite the technique being much safer.

This is not saying Zodiark didn't temper anyone. It's specifically saying that despite Venat having a safe technique, Zodiark's summoning was on such a monumental scale that even Venat's technique would carry some risk.

Meanwhile, Lahabrea has been getting set up for years as someone who has been dehumanized, judged, isolated, and misunderstood. This has continued to increasing degrees through Dawntrail. It has been going on since A Realm Reborn. The sheer consistency of it is insane at this point. There is a HUGE gap between how Lahabrea emotes and what he's actually feeling. His choices reflect this and it is demonstrated firsthand in Pandaemonium.

No one seemed to think it was weird that Lahabrea was ready to commit a pseudo-suicide by killing Hephaistos. No one seemed to catch that the 'pseudo-suicide' in the lyrics to Scream referenced Lahabrea, as did the 'shadow left far behind' line. People contorted themselves into pretzels trying to say that Scream was not about him. Nevermind that Pandaemonium is the Lahabrea raid, in which all other characters were supporting cast to flesh out Lahabrea. It must be mainly about Hegemone and Agdistis! If not them, it must be mainly about Erichthonios!

The man's entire story is about being dehumanized, dismissed, invalidated, and excluded while suffering severe mental illness. It's kind of horrendous that fans are continuing to do this to him on a meta level.

Lahabrea has a long history of Abrahamic imagery. If the Warring Triad mirror the Unsundered, Sephirot as the Tree of Life maps to the Kabbalistic process of creation. The game explicitly and correctly references this in the attacks used. The lyrics to Fiend track for Lahabrea as does the association with Id issues, and there's symbolically significant overlap between muscular/multi-armed Sephirot (where multiple arms reference the boddisatva Guanyin, who uses those many arms to help those in need) to muscular/multi-armed Zodiark as Lahabrea's creation. And Zodiark being Lahabrea's creation is indicated in Akademia Anyder. People have been trying to attribute Zodiark to Hermes because Hermes hijacked him in EW and it drives me nuts.

Meanhwile, what did Pandaemonium do?

Paired the Tree of Life to The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. There's a ton of snake, fruit, and mouth imagery in Pandaemonium. Athena is Eve offering Lahabrea as Adam knowledge of good and evil via the soul bonding. Lahabrea has been afraid of himself as an extremely powerful ancient (which I've analyzed before, tying to Emet-Selch too), particularly given he's in a position of power. He reflects the societal idea that someone with his aetherial strength and authority cannot afford to be selfish or he risks causing immeasurable harm to others. Result is that Lahabrea is absolutely terrified of being selfish in any capacity, even on a basic healthy level. Athena meanwhile is a purely selfish being. Like I believe is the case with Hermes (and am positive is the case with Zenos)--she does not have instinctive empathy. Athena deliberately psychologically violated her husband by forcing him to acknowledge understanding selfish desire through her perspective, then compounded it by exploiting his lack of self-confidence to say he was bound to be just like her for understanding such selfishness. She's not an authority on that, but Lahabrea sees himself as personally less than Athena and is not at that point equipped to argue on his own behalf.

Anyway. Abrahamic connections, Hegemone has the snake imagery. Agdistis has the tree and the fruit. Athena is Eve. The soul bonding is the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. Hephaistos uses a ton of snake imagery too. Lahabrea is covered in symbolism both on a personal psychological level and tied to traditional symbolism via the hand of god acting upon the world, the eye of god watching the world. For savage, one arm is covered in eyes. This is his role as Lahabrea employing power for his people. The other arm, his personal desires/needs, is long and thin and malformed/not really functional. He covers his heart with a pair of wings for protection and reduces himself, weeping, to DNA because that's the only value he sees in himself. He'd rather be that than himself as a person because at least as DNA he's wanted for something. Lahabrea doesn't think anyone would ever give a shit about him on a personal level.

When Hephaistos is defeated, there's a reason Lahabrea is shaken when he states that Hephaistos' goal was never to raise himself high. That was what Athena wanted and what she told him he'd want. All Hephaistos wanted was his family back and to be loved. That was the moment Lahabrea had to introspect and realized Athena wasn't correct about his motives. Her declaring something about him didn't make it true.

Erichthonios is convinced he has a cruel and indifferent father for much of the raid. We see him twist neutral-to-kind gestures as malicious in front of us, as with Lahabrea allowing him to go to Pandaemonium as a child but insisting he know spells to protect himself. Erichthonios takes Lahabrea's insistence as believing he's not good enough instead of wanting him to be safe. We also see Erichthonios construe something that actually points to Lahabrea being depressed (giving himself no credit for completing the phoenix and advertising nothing only to be surprised by coworkers throwing him a celebration anyway) as him scorning Pandaemonium for not sharing the achievement with them. Erichthonios was taught to do this by Athena, and Athena likewise twists Lahabrea's self-image as a form of psychological abuse from the moment he approaches her in the soul bonding scene. She cites his status and accuses Lahabrea of thinking himself morally above others for descending to Pandaemonium and judging her. It never occurs to Athena that Lahabrea would try to stop her because he loves and wants to protect his son.

People are projecting their own personal beef with parents behaving poorly to assume Lahabrea is an uncaring father. He's not. He's extremely mentally ill and Erichthonios was groomed by an abusive mother while having no concept of what Lahabrea's mental illness would even look like... let alone how to deal with it.

Lahabrea explicitly thinks Erichthonios is better off with the false memory of a mother who abused him than having him present as a father because he considers himself so personally worthless. He can only see his presence as a detriment in his son's life. He is a short step from the kind of suicide people commit when they think other people would be happier and less burdened if they were dead. 'They might be sad for a while, but ultimately they'll be better off.'

I'm not even bringing out my citations right now. This isn't an Archon Thesis because I want my evidence properly assembled for that. But I recently saw someone try to frame the Convocation and Zodiark plan as uniformly awful, when the reality is doing nothing would have resulted in life going extinct. And if we're talking about zodiac signs mapping to Convocation members, there are more layers to it than 'Ascians = bad versions of the zodiac'.

Ex. The duality (two fish) and creativity associated with Pisces both apply to Lahabrea, but the emotionality does too. It isn't obvious at first but when you look it's there. Lahabrea has hidden strong emotions consistently through a variety of methods across the game. Sometimes it's reserve, sometimes it's aggression, sometimes it's hysteria. But when you look at the surrounding circumstances from his perspective, it makes perfect sense how and why he'd emote that way. It has never been safe for him to be emotionally vulnerable.

One of the earliest moments of 'villain laughter' from him we see is at Carteneau. His assistant waits quietly for him to finish. At that point Bahamut had been unleashed in yet another action that goes directly against Lahabrea's own morals, but is necessary to the Ardor. The sundered respond by invoking Lahabrea's phoenix as protection for humanity against a primal Lahabrea helped orchestrate. On some level people instinctively believe Lahabrea can and will protect them despite his failures, their own reincarnations, and thousands of years passing. It's ironic and horrible but this kind of irony has been happening to Lahabrea over and over again. If he doesn't laugh the dude's going to cry and (again) it isn't safe for him to do that.

(Also as the only Ascian to ever refer to Zodiark as 'master', Lahabrea is A) very tempered B) continuing a pattern of thought/behavior/worldbuilding where he puts his people first and himself dead last C) not talking about Athena. Lahabrea says in-game he had no earthly idea Athena was in the Heart of Sabik. I do think Heart of Sabik effected him by magnifying his desire to save his people and redeem himself in the face of survivor's guilt. It might have influenced his phrasing too. I have theories about what Lahabrea did at Praetorium but blowing it up was not 'the ultimate magic' by any means. I'm pretty sure he used it as a Themis and/or Zodiark backup drive, which Athena's presence at Anabaseios proves is possible anyway. He doesn't need to know about her to figure it out.

People have tried to say Athena is Lahabrea's god instead of Zodiark. Especially given the history of abuse and Lahabrea's own repeatedly shown priorities/actions, that take is pretty appalling imo. Completely dismisses how devoted he has always been to his people to destroy his will and identity altogether on a meta level.)

Even if we strip shit down to the most bare bones narrative form and ignore evidence--where motives and arcs are concerned 'oh Lahabrea has always been evil/uncaring/sociopathic/self-absorbed and stayed that way forever after' is bad storytelling. That would require a 'failure to change' arc as literal or spiritual death. That arc form ties to death because life requires accounting for/adapting to new experiences. If a character fails to do that (for better or worse) that character is stagnant and effectively not living. Such arcs require meticulously showing the process of rejecting experiences though. Zoraal Ja actually approaches the form a bit when we see him repeatedly taking nothing from the trials he undergoes, but his trajectory becomes 'change for the worse' after losing to his father's shade. None of the Unsundered are set up with that arc form, Lahabrea included. It wouldn't offer any insight, fit with what we know of the ancients and their values/society, or carry any emotional impact. Trying to go that route without setup is just bad storytelling and makes characters less believable. But yeah. Tl;dr I really, really wish people paid more attention and examined words vs actions vs surrounding circumstances vs motives.

[void-time]

tw/ vent but also informative(?) mention of cannibalism, eating disorder, violence (?)

I'm mostly dropping this off just to get some emotions out of the way. the only reason it's tagged as Zeno is because of the correlations.

Although my life and irl!Tsuginos has been a lot a lot calmer, with practically no onsets in sight, only passing thoughts that could be correlated to zeno but are most likely just intrusive thoughts.

We've recently made the mistake of trusting the wrong person with any and all information we've gathered up.

To make things simpler to understand, during the summer (while some things w our delusion were still very much ongoing) we'd decided to explain that we had 'zeno' (we explained the entirety of psychosis as well of course)

the only reason we went out of our way to say this to anyone, was as a way to prevent risks that could occur, because they have happened and we physically couldn't stand the idea of it happening again, especially someone we felt we were close with.

Only for later on to have some stupid drama where the second party didn't want to listen to the first and in turn starting a chain of events that could have easily been prevented.

To make it simple, the second party went on to tell a whole network of people that we were "faking cannibalism"

(which in itself is incredibly funny, because how exactly does one "fake" cannibalism.)

But nonetheless, with more people than I can stomach knowing this, it shocks me more or less how absolutely blind they had to be.

We have literal essays written on how it works, a whole document talking about how everything progressed, literal proof of scaring on multiple parts of my body, bites and scratches everywhere. And with all this proof in front of you, you deem it "not real"?

And yet you tell everyone that it's fake?

you deem the fact that I had practically starved myself, at the beginning of this delusion, due to the fact that I cannibalized someone INSIDE THE DAMNED GAME, having my weight literally drop so low that I now have to go to a doctor and can't live day to day life normally because I can barely lift my own body because there is practically zero muscle mass to support me.

All the bits of proof I had given you, a witness and victim that is also your friend, another psychotic person that was in the friend group that had told all of us her experience w her delusions as well. And here you are, telling the whole world that we are liars.

now of course they couldn't know this part, but having you call it fake while I suffer PTSD, where I have to wake up crying because I'd just dreamt of being gutted and eaten. being panicked at the sight of someone making a biting motion, feeling like I'm on the verge of breaking into a thousand bits at the mention of cannibalism.

Hell, I was struggling to drink water sometimes as well, struggling to even stand the feeling of water.

I'd be lying if I'd say that I wasn't on the verge of jumping him when I learnt what he did. and all he did was sit there, blissfully unaware.

I regret telling people, but am I really to blame if I wanted everyone to be safe? is it my fault that I didn't want someone else to suffer like I had to? is it really my fucking fault that I need half the people I know to think I'm absolutely insane now?

I'm just kinda tired of people.

Even if I wrote this off as a vent, there's some part of me that wants people to hear this, just as a lesson I guess.

[myreia]

FEBHYURARY XXVII: JOURNEY

Cloaked in darkness, shielded in scarlet, the Tower of Babil obscures the skyline with twisted spires and virulent malice. It has been a dozen years since she last walked these streets, but she remembers them well. She recalls the pride of the imperial city, a cage of steel and concrete and magitek rising from the frigid wastes. Grey skies choked with snow the colour of ash no matter the season. In summer, an unending sun that never set. In winter, endless dark.

The air tasted of iron and ceruleum, and yet the streets thrummed with life. Soldiers, merchants, tradesmen, aristocrats. Vehicles that crowded the roads, ushering citizens from one side of the city to the other. In daytime, children gathered in playgrounds, yelling and shouting with glee. At night, the drunkards down the street venting and cursing their frustrations to the sky. Not so different from Ul’dah, or Ishgard, or countless other capitals she has seen.   She hated them all, then. The way they looked at her, the foreigner who wasn’t foreign. She was born in the provinces, this country is all she knew, and yet she was marked as different. Alien. Never to be trusted, never to be respected. So much bitter resentment, and yet she wanted to prove herself. If she proved herself enough, she could make it all stop. A twin shadow to the perspective of her mother, who thought if she proved herself enough, she could ascend. They’re all gone now. Dead, tempered or retreated, the straggling survivors holed up in the remains. She met the remnants in Tertium, saw familiar faces in the hollow crowd. They still stared at her with disgust and fright, but not thanks to recognition—thanks to what she has become. Aureia Malathar, Warrior of Light, is a greater demon here than the traitor Kira Theorzen ever was. By rights she shouldn’t feel sorry for them after the decimation Garlemald has wreaked. It would be so easy to close her heart and her eyes and retreat behind the safety of the refrain “they deserved it, they deserved it, they deserved it.” The country has been judged, the punishment fits the crime.   (Does it? Do they? Does anyone, no matter how despicable, deserve this? If they do, then why doesn’t she? She, whose hands are inarguably stained red.) The city is now a ruined mire of stone and rail and pipes and industry. The words “shadow of its former glory” cross her mind, but there was never any glory to be had in Garlemald. Ironic, that this is what would become of it: Emet-Selch’s grand design, cannibalized by his own great-grandson and one of his own. She didn’t know what she would unleash when she put an end to him, to Elidibus. She doesn’t know what they, in turn, have unleashed now. What Zenos and Fandaniel will unleash in the future. This is causality, is it not? An action to an action to an action, winding back and back and back. Forward and forward and forward. This journey is a homecoming. Not one she wanted, but one she has received nonetheless. Wayward daughter, returned to the place that made her what she is. She would crumple in that blasted tower’s shadow if she was alone—but she is not. Thancred is with her. When she doesn’t have the strength, he does. So long as she has him, she can weather it. She can stand tall.

[m1zisua]

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ INTRO; !!!

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩

┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ Helloo! I'm not too comfortable with

┊ ┊ ︎✧being referred to as my name on here since I don't share this blog with friends often, so unless

┊ ┊ ✯ you know me personally you can

┊ . ˚ ˚✩ call me DAZZY or DAZ for short! :')

( ahem unless i suddenly change my mind )

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

┊ . ˚ ˚✩ INTERESTS;

┊ I have quite a few interests, and I continue to get into more, but these are my favs ;

- Alien stage (I post about the most)

- Heaven Officals Blessing

- Link Click

- Bungou Stray Dogs

- Danganronpa despair time >_>

- Jujutsu Kaisen

- The summer Hikaru died

- Zeno

- Madoka Magica

(I may update this list later on)

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

┊ . ˚ ˚✩ FYI;

┊ I don't really consider myself to be very good at analysing or picking up things, and I often forget things quite easy — not to mention I'm extremely bad at articulating my thoughts .. Soo when I post on here, a lot of it is in good practice as I aspire to become better!

┊ I sometimes spam!

┊ If I mention certain topics or things on here, I will do my absolute best to tag TWs accurately.

^ ^ eg. if I make something that involves a kys joke, I'll put 'tw kys joke' in the tags.

┊ I am a MINOR!!!

┊ Sometimes, I'll vent on here when I need a place to put my thoughts and feelings, but I usually delete it after :')

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

┊ . ˚ ˚✩ EXTRA;

┊ ┊ ✯

┊ I'm a major yapper, and I love positive interactions with people from fandoms I'm in on here <3

┊ Despite this, I sometimes struggle or forget to reply to comments, reblogs, etc, and get pretty nervous (social anxiety).

┊ I have a side blog that I dont use anymore, but I may or may not turn it into something! I might reupload some of my posts on to here, so if you see anything from me that sounds vaguely familiar, then that's probably why.

┊ ^^^ I also have another one for DRDT that I haven't yet posted on!

┊ ┊ ┊ ✫

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ I've had this blog since 2022, and I used to be a byler blog, so uhh, if anyone who follows me from that era is wondering who and why you are following me, then that's probably it.

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

[valiantamm]

Post-Conference thoughts from Alma 33

One of the things I found myself declaring in the heat of the final talk from this last conference was that we need to make our own spaces. If church leadership is unwilling to accept queer people, we have to find our own ways to lift each other up and connect to Him.

Today I decided to read out of Alma on a vague prompting and found myself in Alma 33. You may want to read it yourself but here's what stuck out to me.

Alma 33 comes after 32's oft-quoted chapter on faith being like a seed which must be nurtured. Alma is talking to the poor among the Zoramites, and after having received instruction on how to grow their faith, they asked how they could exercise their faith -- given that they had been cast out of their synagogues, the very places of worship which they had helped build.

"…Behold, ye have said that ye could not worship God because ye are cast out of your synagogues. But behold, I say unto you, if ye suppose that ye cannot worship God, …ye ought to search the scriptures…

"For [Zenos] said: Thou art merciful, O God, for thou hast heard my prayer, even when I was in the wilderness … and thou wast merciful unto me when I did cry unto thee in my field; …And when I did turn unto my closet, O Lord, and prayed unto thee, thou didst hear me.

"Yea, thou art merciful unto thy children when they cry unto thee, to be heard of thee and not of men… I will cry unto the in all mine afflictions, …for thou has turned thy judgments away from thee, because of thy Son."

---

I don't have specific ways to follow this advice, but it's my hope that we can make our own places of shelter in the wilderness and gather together where we can. For some people, that might be in their local wards. For many of us that has meant a break from attendance, or potentially permanent leave from the faith community in which we grew up.

(Brief vent: I personally have not felt a great desire to return to church knowing that the people around me also seeking to follow Jesus might be seeking to persecute and otherize queer people. I have a hard time worshipping in the same church as a person I know who is seeking to "eliminate transgenderism" and sees no conflict between this and Jesus' teachings. I don't want to go to a place where I might be called on to debate queer people's existence when I can barely stand up for or conceptualize my own gender identity. But I miss the community that comes from sharing thoughts on how we can be better people and help others.)

Would love to hear y'all's thoughts on how we move forward.

[callmeclara235]

sigh, here we go again…

Hello and welcome to my little place on this platform!

(I had to redo my intro post since I JUST realized I deleted my old one.)

I’m Clara, you can also call me Bow or Lilac, but preferably Clara.

She/they, not rlly he/him please (unless under certain circumstances), not sure what I am (either pan or else idk). I’m mostly known as an author on AO3, most of my followers and friends knowing my fic “Younger But Still The Same, Right?” (in short YBSTSR).

I post some art or reblog stuff on here, and asks are gladly to be received. I love to role-play and doodle/draw (if you haven’t guessed by now lol) and of course play Roblox. I’m also available on different games sometimes, but mainly Roblox.

Some other stuff:

Fandoms: PHIGHTING!, Dandy’s World, Pressure, a few more / etc.

Basic DNI list (no LGBTQ+phobic or anything related to that, no racism, no zoophilia, you get the drill)

no NSFW/suggestive stuff, I’m a minor and I’m trying to keep my blog open for everyone

sometimes a little delayed in actions, I have a screen-time limitation

usually just hanging a bit around, glad to interact/receive asks, mainly in RPs (Role-plays) or about my OCs

I can become a little vent-y and post things that may be a little dark for others, so beware (I’ll always add ‘read more’ if so)

I won’t regularly post things since motivation is blehh but I’ll try to stay active!

Don’t be shy to talk to me, I promise I’ll be friendly! But only if you also stay nice to me, okay? :>

[I’ll add more later! If anything else comes into my mind xd]

★ ~ My other blogs ~ ★

@psigraft (trying to revive it!!)

@ybstsr-blog (pretty much inactive cause it feels awkward. BUT I might use it soon)

@biograft-233 (more active rn)

☁︎ My OCs (that MIGHT show up) ☁︎

Mainly my Biograft OCs (Psigraft/Zeno, Mal and Cable)

Demon OCs who’ll probably appear once in a blue moon X)

And others that are either OG or from another Fandom!

♥︎ My Sona(s?)♥︎

I only have one right now (or at least only one I use frequently) and idk why but I like to call her Bow. This is them:

[meowww-ffxiv]

Yukinko's second lover who was colloquially known as The Big Deal by the Scions because he wasn't going to use the guy's mountain name in front of strangers--

Krile asked him about this guy as idle conversation while they were on their way around doing the feats, in Dawntrail. "There isn't much to say," Yukinko began, and then spent an hour just talking about him.

The last time Yukinko spent an hour talking about anything, he'd been taking bets about how faithfully he could recite Gaius van Baelsar's speech. If he was going to talk for more than 5-10 minutes about anything to anyone, it was probably going to be a paid service.

But this guy?

The Big Deal, according to Yukinko, had known him since childhood. Their mothers were friends -- one of the few friends Yukinko's mother had, considering she was kind of the village failgirl. "He always puffed up his cheeks and got upset when I would sneak away to play with the other non-Viera villages," Yukinko said. "Yet he would lose every bout whenever we tussle. I do not mean to say that he was going easy on me; the boy was just weaker. And then he would always run off, red-faced, not even once letting me help him up. How then was I to know he would be courting me?"

And it was an unnecessary courtship too, Yukinko said. While he'd been allowed back into his clan, Yukinko not staying for any long amount of time meant he wasn't a wood warder, and so was quite outside whatever customs and practices that would have applied to one such. Yet, The Big Deal insisted on dueling. And he was far stronger now, but come on. Yukinko spent forty years fighting. He lost at least a dozen bouts more.

He never stated what he intended, either. There was custom tied to that -- men who wished to court one another could only bring it up once they had proven superiority in combat -- but still. Really.

"Wow, he sounds so dramatic," Krile said. From what passing horrors she had known of Zenos, she believed Yukinko had some fatal peacock-y tastes in men. But she didn't say that.

The Big Deal had what Yukinko used a phrase from Nagxia to describe: "a paper-thin face". Though he appeared aloof and arrogant to most people despite his achievements, he would turn red and start stuttering whenever things weren't going his way.

Alisaie scrunched her nose up. "Are you sure those symptoms don't develop just around you? Alphinaud had meltdowns in front of his crushes when he was younger, too."

"Alisaie!" Alphinaud screeched loud enough for Erenville to cover his ears.

Yukinko gave this serious thought. "It's possible," he eventually admitted, and sighed. "He watches over a territory well known for its natural aether springs. Many auspices and terrible beasts ascend to a higher form there, so it was extremely dangerous. Even against them, he was unusually strong, and himself had been courted by all manners of martial arts sects and covetous lords from Nagxia and Yanxia. Yet he remained in the mountain -- waiting for me, he said. Knowing full well I can never return."

"But you did return," Wuk Lamat pointed out, who was extremely invested in this high romance at this time.

"I did not do it for him. And I did so with another's child in tow," Yukinko replied. "At first, I thought he simply wanted to vent his anger. The Big Deal was a traditionalist, and domineering besides. What's the word? An 'asshole'."

"Mmhm," Krile said. "Okay."

"You have vexingly bad tastes in men," Alisaie rolled her eyes.

"Come now, let us give this suitor some credit," Alphinaud protested, very invested and indeed feeling a little kinship with this Big Deal guy. "I assume the courtship went somewhere?"

Alisaie scoffed. "What's this slander? As if Yukinko would fall for some bru--" She stopped herself, then corrected: "For another brute."

Yukinko said nothing.

Oh, no, Alisaie thought. Oh hell no.

She hated being right. Why did she have to be right? Yukinko did have vexingly bad taste in men. Another one?!?!

"He did win a duel against me," he said eventually, so calm and mild.

"And did he speak his mind? He did confess, right?" Wuk Lamat asked.

Yukinko nodded.

"And you told him to beat it," Alisaie supplied.

"That doesn't look like the face of someone who told the village 'big deal' to beat it," Erenville said.

"Be quiet."

An agonizing pause later, Yukinko said, "I thought he was quite adorable, standing there with his red face and twitching ears, stuttering so much he was incomprehensible. I had to stand up myself, he was in no state to help me. And then he tripped over himself as he finally realized he should help me... Just like when we were children. Even when he wasn't running away, he was such a mess."

Wuk Lamat squealed.

"In my village, a wedding usually follows," Erenville said.

Yukinko shook his head. "He will not leave the mountain, and I will not stay. We agreed on this. Having waited for me besides, he was sworn to his duty. If he had been so vapid as to have me for his sole reason, I wouldn't have respected him so much."

"It doesn't sound like you respected him that much to begin with," Alisaie muttered, only for Krile to elbow her.

Yukinko actually laughed, a low and sweet sound so soaked in fondness that answered the unspoken question and washed away any doubt anyone might harbor about this... this unknown, faceless wood warder with the silly moniker of "The Big Deal".

The conversation drifted off after that. Alisaie grilled Yukinko a few more times about this guy, just so she could know about him, you know? And yes, she did learn other things about him.

He was handsome and tall and even thought of as a fairy by some of the non-Viera tribes whenever his hunts caused him to descend the mountain. He was once an archer and spearsman, same as any in their tribe, but his encounter with a certain learned martial artist had him trained in a straight sword in the style of Nagxia's "immortals". He had dark hair and dark eyes, and wore it long in the same style as his shizun's, as a show of respect. It made him odd compared to their fellow wood warders', but The Big Deal was firm about it.

He was also not as shit at magic as Yukinko, and so had properly carved a bonding stone for him -- a talisman of polished gems and glinting black stone, tied in elegant knots of simmering red furs from some fierce mountain beast. Yukinko wore it on his obi, its cerulean hue an elegant contrast against his favored purples and reds.

"What did you give him?" Wuk Lamat asked. "Maybe we can find some souvenir for him in Wachunpelo."

"I gave him a hairpin," Yukinko replied. "Made with real flowers enchanted never to fade. He is quite vain about his hair and wears a high top-knot, so it seemed a gift that'd suit his tastes."

But he did take her advice of buying souvenirs from Wachunpelo for this... this Big Deal guy. That Alisaie was kind of miffed she would likely never meet. But maybe that was for the best? He sounded like a really annoying Alphinaud, and she'd been there when Alphinaud was annoying.

And THEN she had to realize for herself that Yukinko was suffering from morning sickness. Alisaie wasn't dumb. She put two and three together and decided yeah, good to hear about The Big Deal, but probably better they wouldn't meet.

[vulpinmusings]

How Endwalker's MSQ Should Have Ended

(For clarity, I did enjoy the final duel against Zenos as a gameplay experience and catharsis for having to put up with his BS through the whole expansion, but giving him his fight AFTER finishing the Endsinger felt a little undeserved narratively (at least as far as my WoL is concerned))

"So, here we are, two great warriors at the edge of the universe, with nothing remaining to distract us from the greatest fight of our lives. What say you, my friend?"

The Warrior of Light's lip twisted in utter disgust. "Stop calling me that," they spat. "I am not your friend. You have done nothing to earn the right to call me that. And I refuse to fight you."

"Oh come now," Zenos said, grinning, "is that any way to repay me for helping you keep pace with that prey we just slew?"

"I will admit I couldn't have defeated the Endsinger without you," The Warrior replied, "but I do not owe you anything because of it. If anything, your help has balanced the scales between us." Zenos opened his mouth to retort, but the Warrior pressed on, giving full vent to the seemingly endless frustration they had been holding onto ever since Fandaniel's damnable towers had started appearing. "We were even after the conflict over Othard and Ala Mihgo. I was helping to stoke rebellion against the Garlean Empire, and you were defending territories you had authority over. You kicked my ass a couple times, and then I rallied and kicked yours back after you fused with that abomination among primals. You died, and that should have been the end of it, but NO, you not only spat in Nald'thal's faces and came back to life but then proceeded to take every opportunity you could find to interrupt my efforts to save the entire bloody star and its reflections from annihilation just so you could get a petty little rematch."

Zenos brushed off the entire rant with a dismissive wave. "Yes, yes, he said, "I was a little hesitant to acknowledge that you were already pursuing a new grand fight, but-"

"Enough," the Warrior shouted, throwing their weapon on the ground, or what passed for ground at least. "You just don't get it, do you? I take no joy in fighting primals and gods for the thrill in the moment. The only joy I get from those fights, the only reason I keep fighting, is knowing that doing so protects Eorzea, nay, the entire star! I am one of a very small handful of people who can face down rogue primals without being tempered, and recently the things I've been obliged to stand up to are so powerful that the only allies I can call upon without fearing for their lives are other versions of myself. Fighting you again, here and now, is utterly pointless. You are so far from being a threat to the people and places I care about that I would only raise my blade against you out of self-defense." They knelt down, retrieved their weapon, and then rose and pulled out their emergency teleportation device. "Here's something you probably don't know about this location," they said. "It only came into existence because of the dynamis of all the Meteia gathered here. Now that they're dead, it's only our two wills keeping it together. I wonder, then, if your determination alone can sustain it, and for how long? Goodbye, Zenos, and please stay dead this time." With a final smirk at the horrified expression on Zenos' face, the Warrior triggered the device and returned to the Ragnarok and their friends.

It was time to head home.

[imperial-nuisance-rudje]

if you click this unrebloggable minor ew vent post it's on you

glad i decided to nope out of watching this part of the stream, seeing chat call g'raha's bullshit in ultima thule "sweet and well-written" makes me convinced people wouldn't recognize bad character writing if it hit them with a truck

maybe if the writers ever took into account that his characterization is that of a manipulative asshole it would be good, because he is incredibly consistent on being a specific growth form of asshole, but they so clearly think his bullshit is cute and not bullshit so he's completely fucking unbearable to have pushed to the fore this much

maybe during dt they'll keep him offscreen long enough that i don't want to give him a one-way trip to the bottom of the ocean anymore

(this all would be less of an issue if a specific breed of g'raha fan weren't incredibly obnoxious if you so much as breathe in a way they dislike in his direction even when it's untagged, up there with the zenos hater reply guys (gender-neutral) for most prominent obnoxious people in this fandom (note obnoxious rather than actively harmful, those have overlaps with harmful groups but this is about people who are annoying)

granted, i also thought a lot of the ultima thule writing up to the dungeon was not that good. thancred and estinien are the only ones allowed to have any kind of tension, but they keep acting like the tension is at max the entire way through and it's just fucking not. you can try to argue that the characters don't know you'll succeed, but Y'shtola blowing the lid on the whole thing should have had more impact than it did on how the characters treated it. Also, having the two characters who are a single fakeout death apart (I have seen enough people 100% convinced that Zenos killed Y'shtola in stb that yes, I count it, and if you don't you're being disingenuous because they clearly want the player to think she's dead for a moment given that she has special textures for it) fakeout die AGAIN is just cheap emotional shots.

And maybe if EW had been allowed to actually heavily address any of 6.0 in its patches I would feel better about the weaknesses, because 3.0 has a lot of weaknesses that I felt were well-addressed in 3.x patches and I ended up with HW as my favorite expac! But EW's instead three expansions in a trench coat and they're not only not covered by the trenchcoat they're on the ground bc they fell over when they tried to add the third. The one aspect 6.0 skimmed over for pacing that 6.x does heavily address (garlemald) it addresses in different ways every time it comes up!

(thavnair doesn't really get addressed as a location in the 6.x msq, it's mostly about vrtra... which would be fine, if they hadn't decided to do ff4 but worse at the same time. and i say this thinking ff4's writing is very mid when viewed without nostalgia goggles, even if it was impressive for the console and era (and like, mid ain't bad given the technological limitations! i'm just sick of people acting like it's the best jrpg story in existence). just next to no effort to reinterpret it like they did with ct, weapons (i don't like the writing there at all but they did a lot of work to make it uniquely 14 and not "as seen in ff7"!), or the various scattered 5 nods.)

haterade empty. in conclusion i will be glad to see this expansion's back bc it's the only expansion where my opinion of it actively worsened as patches went on. e: honestly. i also would be glad to just stop having people crawl up my ass for criticizing ew's msq. i know that the loporrits are there to decompress, it doesn't change that i think they suck up way too much air for too long in an extreme pressed-for-time expac and, worst of all for a walking comedy routine, often aren't fucking funny in mandatory content. I can understand why something is there and still think it sucks shit in execution.

[vierandancer]

   “if you think you’re going to walk this one off, think again.”

   normally he’d commend anyone else to attempt to stay strong in the throngs of pain, as no one could be able to walk through a fracture much less a broken bone without voicing complaints, at this point, he’s more stern with meiko and her determination to try to keep it to herself, going so far as to glare — yes, glare, right at the warrior of light, though currently that title hardly mattered when she was more of a consistent and stubborn patient — to have her sit down as she still easily towered over him.

   “do you think you can solve everything by walking away from it?” he questions, uncertain if he’d truly get a clear answer, mainly venting by voicing out a few of his own thoughts out loud. “at this rate, you won’t be able to keep this up forever, you—” he paused, biting his lip. despite his frustration, since he’s not angry at her, but more worried that she’d eventually go too far down this path. loifa kept his gaze on her leg, focusing on mending bone, truly more uncomfortable than anything she had ever felt before in her life. “...just, why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

Loifa'd get along too well with Fray. That was all Meiko could think of as she obediently sat down after being caught trying to hide the pain radiating from her twisted (broken?) ankle.

He was right, just as Fray had been, just as anyone with half a brain would be when it came to not pushing through injuries. One would think that sharing the responsibility of protecting Eorzea the world with her brother would ease that burden, but it didn't. Not to Meiko, anyway.

Still, she felt embarrassed for being so dumb about it. And being caught, too. Ears lowering a bit in shame, she cast her gaze away, but tried to insist despite her wavering confidence:

"I just -- I don't like havin' to sit and wait. I want -- I need to be able to go. To help folk at any time. You wouldn't bloody believe how oft a messenger comes runnin' up with shite news." She fiddled with the fabric of her skirt while he worked, trying not to think about the two weeks she had spent locked up in the infirmary in Ishgard prior to her journey to the First. Or when she had returned to Rhalgr's Reach after Zenos had nearly killed A'kihiko.

It was one thing to fear anything terrible happening at any time. It was a whole other to have the verified destiny to bare the world's safety on your shoulders. Regardless, she knew she was in the wrong, so she did not offer any further excuses.

[theherosreturn]

Bradley: Heck, compared to what Sam did with his “family”, the Garlean Royal Family looks functional, and they had Zenos as a member among other issues.

(Qrow wasn’t sure if he needed more alcohol or if he should just not bother, as you could guess. Even as V went to try her new power (and hoped for more of such boosts after the other two Archfiends were down), Bradley had something simple to say…)

Bradley: If you want some place to just calm down, I can bring you to the Last Dregs. I imagine someone will be willing to listen to you vent about the madness. They’re used to it, given where they even are.

Qrow: Isn't that the place you said was at the edge of the universe or something? (Jackrow: The very same.)...I think I'll pass for now...I'm honestly just trying to find my neice and her friends after we were all forced to split up from...Terrible things happening...

Uzi: I'm guessing you saw those Sadist Crystals growing on somewhere that shouldn't be?

Qrow: Yeah...The Grimm were even more hostile than usual and I could've sworn that some were even holding crude weapons...I think it's all the weird rock's fault on why they became that way...

[readbyred]

I saw you’re okay writing on heavier topics… would you be okay writing hunter x previously abused reader? If not that’s okay!

Hunter x prev abused!reader

content warning: abuse, break up, dealing with trauma, fluff end

Due to similar trauma (I mean, obviously not all abuse is the same, I just mean the fact that both of you were/are abused) you are able to bond and he’d open up to you with more ease. He might not always know what to say or do but he tries. Wants you to be safe and tries to avoid putting you in situations where you could be reminded of past abuse. Like, though he’d never call his uncle an abuser, he’d keep you as far away from Belos as possible. But just because he worries doesn't mean he’s going to shield you from the world. Actually, he’s quite the opposite with how he handles things. He figures that the best he can do is to let you know you aren't alone when you need it. In turn he sometimes vents. Though it's more about the stress the abuse is putting him under, not the abuse itself. It's not all just support and getting better together though. Since you have gotten out of the abusive situation you have a better judgment of his uncle and the things he does to your boyfriend. Every time you’d try to tell him that the Emperor has no right to treat Hunter that way, he’d deny it and would argue back. Like Zeno said, at this point it's victory and appeasing Belos above all so if you pushed too far (for his own sale) I can't see it having a good ending. I mean, he’d regret it but if you “stood in his way” things would have to end. Plus Hunter is a bit bitter that you were able to leave the toxicity in the past. Of course, he doesn't think you “have it better”. And no matter what his uncle pushes him towards, he cares about you deeply

[fleet-admiral-hiba]

I had this thought for so long after having read "28 years" from @kiame-sama. It's just that good, I tell you.

Anyway, having read Zeno x reader and Silva x kidnapped readee, I had this idea for a very heavy fanfic where, it's not Silva's wife, but Zeno's husband.

Confort/vent fic needed. I will ignore their animation age, cause it does not fit well with the idea.

I'm gonna do it in more parts, I don't want to overwhelm you people. It's a heavy topic

ZENO ZOLDYCK X M! READER

TW: kidnapping, abuse, heavy abuse of science knowledge, murder, torture, mental health issue, physical issue

You were a simple man. You had your mundane job at a bookshop, and you lived in a rather small house. Well it was all that simple. If only you knew, what lurked in the shadows.

That's what you thought when he, the infamous Zeno Zoldyck told you, that now you were his husband and you were going to live with him and his family at Kukuroo Mountain.

But that wasn't the bad part, you had it good. You only had to look at your dear friend, Milla, she had been stuck in that room since she had been taken. And it now was three years. You, on the other hand, given your rather calm and pacific nature, adapted quickly at your new environment. After all, you knew that you escaping was impossible. They were a family of trained assassins, the best in the world. How could a normal guy like you pull off a real escape?

You went for the simple and more realistic route. You did what you were told. And it landed you on a good spot. Three years ago, you would not have roamed around the estate like you do now. You would have been chained to the part of the mansion you call home. Now you walk around free, and you can actually interact with someone. That be the butlers, the kids, Kykyo and Silva, and of course, Millia.

You two bonded easily. Often time you talked on the phone the first few times. But after your chain had been unlocked, you often went to see her, to keep her company and talk about anything. Your favourite activity was watching documentaries. They were such a relaxing activity. Aslo she was the one to introduce you to knitting. After heavy negotiations with his husband, of course. He was, let's say, over protective, but she managed to get her way.

Anyway your life could be better, but for now you had it good. Zeno was rather chill, he isn't exactly over bearing, but he isn't also excessively restricting. You can go out, that being said, you can explore all of Kukuroo Mountain. And that's something. You could have been stuck in a room, 24/7.

It was a day like the other, and you had been reading a book that Zeno gifted you recently. And it was really good. Just thrilling enough to keep you hooked on the reading, but also mysterious enough to let your mind conjure up various possibilities. And you wanted to discuss it with Millia, you bothered her with that news for over a month now, she deserved to know.

The door was, to simply put it, enormous and extremely tightly locked. You had Zeno with you for that reason. No matter how much you tried, you would only injure yourself. "Thank you, see you later for lunch?" you asked, you knew that later that day he had to go out, so you wanted to at least say goodbye before he went out. "I don't know, I think we will head out earlier." With that, and a kiss, he opened the door and then let you go.

"Hey Milli, I finished the book." - "it was time you finished it, pebble" - "yeah yeah, keep the sass up, snowflake". You two went on your chatting for a long long time. Suddenly you both heard a strange noise. Something trying to open something. Footsteps hurriedly moving silently around the door. The May have confused that door for a safe. Cause, nobody is allowed there, apart from members of the family and the dogs knew better.

You told her to hide, but it was to late. You both screamed. You tried to fend off the aggressors, but they were too many to do it alone. The only thing you remembered was the face of terror of Millia.

Meanwhile, the screams echoed around the walls of the mansion. Everyone froze on their spot. One looking at the other. Unfortunately, apart from Kykyo, no other member was home.

You were alone now. Until they came back home, you were alone with Millia, and you had a choice. Meanwhile, a butler finally had a the gut to call the head of the family. "Master Zeno?" - "What is it?" - "w-we... Have... A problem"

[keroascrazy]

Man I gotta vent. I gotta.

I gotta preface this with "I understand that these particular fictional scenarios bring people joy, and thats okay!" But like... I get recommenda of posts where people ship their OC's with characters like Asahi or Zeno.

ZENOS, of all people, the guy who is very clearly shown to be a man who cares for nothing but the literal thrill of battle. The desperate fight and struggle for life or death. And people see this and they frame him as someone with a hidden soft side. I guess?? And its none of my buisness, and I shouldn't care but these wonderful, amazing, well composed shots are of the guy who can't feel passion for anything other than martial prowess/perfection. The guy who ensures that entire populations of people are oppressed enough to WANT to fight back, just so he has a chance to find a worthy opponent.

Because fighting someone who can put up a fight, or better yet, possibly best him, is the only way this combat obsessed individual can FEEL SOMETHING other than malaise and disdain.

And some people look at that and they see something that isn't there. They see a man who would care, who has a normal spectrum of human emotions, if not just a little bit rough around the edges. And its like... BRUH???

And I don't get it. And thats okay, but its not?? I don't know. I just needed to vent.

If it makes people happy, then it makes them happy and its none of my buisness, but DAMN if I don't reel through SEVERAL thoughts about his character archetype every time I see them.

[g0d-cat]

intro post!!! / 9/11/22

hi! my name is mic, but u can call me marionette, michael or niko if we’re close! (all nicknames are welcomed though)

15 08/09/07 🇺🇸

white+ethnically jewish and disabled

he/it/xe/star/paw/moon + sometimes they/them

aroace enby gay, +multiple xenogenders

i prefer all gendered terms used equally on me!!

entp, 4w5 415(1w2, 5w6) sp/sx, LFVE, sanguine dom, RCUEI, ESE, chaotic neutral

leo sun, cancer moon, aries rising

i scramble, misread and forget words very often, please just inform me gently if i haven’t noticed yet so i can fix it!

interests

current fixation(s): zeno and the dinoverse:3

anime/manga: demon slayer, my hero academia, hunter x hunter, black butler, soul eater, death note, attack on titan

shows: the umbrella academy, stranger things

movies: marvel, encanto, texas chainsaw massacre

games: fnaf, genshin impact, omori, minecraft

books: warrior cats, anne of green gables

general/other: psychology, typology, cats, the human body, illnesses/diseases, ARGs

dni

basic dni criteria

dsmp fans

proship/comship/anti anti

terfs/radfems

anti neopronouns/xenogenders

transmeds

republicans

nsfw accs

henry miller fictives/irls

fyozai shippers

if you actively talk negatively about any of of my fixations/interests (alright if i already know/follow u)

byf

i do not stick to just one fandom when posting, and will usually post about my current fixations

i have a relatively ‘graphic’ sense of humor

i don’t post often (shh i forget tumblr exists don’t tell anyone)

i MAY rant or vent on occasion

i am strongly punk and a leftist, i don’t plan on ever posting about politics but feel free to block if that makes u uncomfy

i struggle with paranoia, so if i block you please don’t take it personally !!

other stuff!!

i collect plushies and foreign/novelty soda cans and bottles

i’m learning spanish and plan on learning russian in the future! (i would love tips for either of them lol)

i talk in caps a lot

feel free to dm me for my socials!! <3