#zen is an excellent friend
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lordterronus · 1 year ago
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@shandycandy278 @zen-unknown @blossomtato
REBLOG if you have amazing, talented WRITER friends.
Because I certainly do, and I love every single one of them and their work.
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goodlucksnez · 6 months ago
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So after listening to Zen's Wav, I had a idea to continue. So I gathered some friends and we continued the story with a little nod to @instarsandcrime as well!
So enjoy the continuation!
Al//astor: @onetrickponi
Lu//cifer: @zensations35
V//ox: @goodlucksnez
See below for script!
Alastor: Ah! The man of the hour! Just the person I was hoping to encounter…Now then. Time for a little r̴̈e̷͋g̵͛i̷͊c̷̉ǐ̵d̷̃ë̴́
Lucifer: Oh no…*sneeze* Not you again. What is it this time?
Alastor:  As it turns out, sire, not only do you bestow hellish grace upon your subjects, but pestilence as well! ’Allergies.’ Hah! I should have known. 
Lucifer: Well if someone hadn’t insisted I come on their show with only two days notice!
Alastor: Aha-hA!  If someone would answer their phone more than once a month, your nibs–
*Lucifer sneezes*
Alastor: Well. Glad to see your smoky sternutations aren’t exclusive to my studio, at least. Goodness, I do hope this wallpaper is flame-resistant.*ṣ̶͐n̸̺͐ḙ̸̽e̸̲͂z̸̩͋i̷̠͐n̴̨̊g̸̩̿* Pardon.
Lucifer: Hey! Don’t bust out my lights! I’m working on an important project!
Alastor: And now no one has to see it! Pity. :)
*Voxtech Show Theme Plays*
Vox: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most electrifying news show in the multiverse! I’m your host, Vox,  and I’m here to deliver the latest headlines with a dash of charisma, a sprinkle of wit, and a whole lot of tea *clinking cup* *cup falls* 
Vox: *ignoring fallen cup* Tonight on our program we will go over the most recent broadcast from the King of Hell and the less important interviewer *cackle*
Vox: Ahh how good it feels in my studio! I must say our brand is perfection, it just won't do for anything Less. Than. That. *snigger*  
Vox: Unlike a certain old tyrant my studio is made for the highest of royalty. So if any princes or kings want a real experience, come down to Vees tower and I would love to give you a personalized tour from the Man in Charge. 
Alastor: *sneezing* Pompous, vicious little prick…
Lucifer: Ugh.. *sniff* I hate that guy…”Man in Charge”? And they call me prideful??
Vox: I mean really you just walk in, and it’s chaos. Papers everywhere, coffee stains on the desk, *laugh* it isn't even in a proper studio but an old water tower! Talk about tacky. Unprofessional, if you ask me. But here? Every cable is tucked away, every surface polished--
[Vox continues his spiel while Alastor sneezes]
Alastor: *sneezing* 
Vox:-- to a mirror sheen. We believe in excellence, not just in our content but in our environment, that that is what VoxTex is here to provide you. So, when you tune in to our show, rest assured, you’re getting the crème de la crème. Quality, class, and cleanliness–
Alastor: That isn’t even properly alliterative…
Lucifer: Are you kidding me? His place is a walking fire hazard! Or, not walking. Standing? But I know fire hazards! Man, I wish I could just…*sneezes*
Alastor: HaHAh!…Well, then I’m sure you will appreciate this next bit, Sire.
Vox: *sniffling* *sneezing* I must apologize, my dear viewers *sneezing*  but it seems that even the most prepared among us can be caught off guard. It appears I’m having a bit of a g̶͎͑-̵̓ͅg̵̪̑-̷̖͠G̴̥͒L̶̟̈I̷͈͑T̵̀͜C̸̣͝H̸̖͒—nothing serious, but we believe in safety first here at Vox industries.
*Vox continues sneezing throughout his spiel*
Vox: We’re all about transparency and this is as real as it gets. Fucking bitch! I’m going to step off for a moment to take care of this, and in the meantime, we’ll be ending today’s broadcast a tad earlier than scheduled. FuckI’mgonnafuckingkillhim--Our team is top-notch, and they’ll ensure everything is handled with the utmost professionalism. Thank you for your understanding. We’ll be back on air tomorrow, bright and shiny as ever, ready to bring you the stellar content you love. 
Vox: Cut it! That fucking bitch, I know this is his doing I’m gonna kill him!!
Alastor: *sneezing* *laughing* 
Lucifer: Hoh yeah! Highfive!
Alastor: I beg your pardon?
Lucifer: You…you just take your hand and…uhh…*high five sound*
Alastor: Mmm I suppose. But don’t make a habit out of this, sire.
Lucifer: Eheh…okay…
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love4layla · 11 months ago
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AMAZING EXPERIENCE
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Budo Masuta x fem!chubby!reader
A/n: Not proof read so if you see errors use ur brain
NSFW🚨
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You made it to the martial arts club, You’re not sure who you’re looking for but from the flier it was someone named Budo. You take a deep breath and fix my skirt as you open the door to 5 people training.
“Welcome to the Martial Arts Club! What brings you here?” A man, around 5’8 with black hair approaches you. “Uhm hi. Imr looking for someone named…” you look at paper double checking the name on the flier. “Budo Masuta?” You hear a chuckled come from the black haired guy in front of you. “Well, that would be me. And you are?” He looks at you waiting for your response. “Y/n” you respond nearvously. “It's nice to meet you, y/n. And I assume you wish to join the Martial Arts Club?” He asks you with a standard enthusiastic tone he always has.
“Y-yeah” you stutter in response. “Excellent! I always welcome more members to our club. Do you have any experience in martial arts, or would you be a complete beginner?” You pause for a moment before answering “no…im a beginner”. “Don't worry, we'll start you off slowly. That should give you a good foundation to work with, and then you can always advance as you improve your skills!” He smile at you. It makes you feel warm inside, how a complete stranger is being nicer to you than anyone in the whole school has. You begin your classes with Budo until the bell rings for class.
You walk to your class when you see and you and Budo are both in class 3-2. As you sit down in class, you see that Budo is already seated next to you. He glances in your direction and smiles, then turns back to the front of the class.
“The first 6 digits of pie are 3.14159” you say answering the question. “Correct y/n” the teacher congratulates you. “It seems you know a lot about pie don’t you, fatty” Musume comments from the back of the class, giggling as some of the people in the class also laugh a little.
Budo glances over at you and notices you’re much less confident than you were before. He shoots a dangerous glare at Musume. She immediately shuts up and faces forward, visibly shaken.
Class bell rings again and everyone leaves to lunch. You pack up your stuff but Musume had stayed. You notice the rest of her friends walking into the classroom. *what the hell are they gonna do now?* you think to yourself.
Just as you ask that, you turn around and is faced with a little pig that got thrown at your face. You don’t even worry about yourself you worry if the little pig is alright as it squeals and runs away. “OMG Y/n! It’s your twin ahahaha” Hanna yells and they all laugh and walk away. You burst out into tears and run to the zen garden.
Once you arrive at the garden to calm down you take a seat at one of the benches. You hear footsteps come up behind you, and you can sense someone approaching you from behind as your breathing slows down. *Oh no, it’s probably them again. Please stop, don’t come any closer* you think, you brace for an impact but you feel a soft hand on my arm.
Budo is standing behind you. He looks worried when he sees your wet cheeks and red eyes from crying. You feel his hand squeeze gently. “Hey...are you alright?” He asks you with a worried expression on his face. It was embarrassing for you, for him to see you like this. You didn’t know how to respond, so you turn away and curl into a ball and continue sobbing.
He kneels down and rests on the ground beside you. He pulls you close to him and gently pats your back as he tries to comfort you. “Shhh, everything will be okay. I know it's tough right now, but just try to hold on and let your emotions flow naturally. I promise it gets better” . Those comforting words proved to you that he wasn’t here to judge you.
“Why do I have to look like this?” You ask softly, trying to hide your body. “Why do so many people find time out of their day to tell me what’s wrong with me?” You sigh out of exhaustion. Budo gives you a reassuring gaze as he continues to hug you.
“I don't think there's anything wrong with how you look. Yes, you may have a few extra pounds on you, but that just makes you more beautiful in my eyes. There's nothing wrong with having a little bit of extra curve, it just shows that you have a healthy amount of energy and nutrients. Musume and her friends are just jealous of your natural beauty.” He comforts you rubbings circles into your shoulder.
The bell rings to go back to class as I stand up and just him as tight as I can. Thinking about how no one had ever said that to me before. “Thank you” I say feeling more tears fall. Budo smiles warmly, angles your face to face his and gently wipes away your tears with his thumbs. “It's no problem at all, really. Just try to keep your eyes dry. I'd hate for your pretty face to be stained with tears” he giggles as he smiles at you.
This was the moment you realized you were in love with him. The man that actually care about you unlike anyone else. We both walk back to class together and I sit down, instinctively putting my bag on my lap hiding my stomach. Budo noticed this subtle act and notes it.
As the day comes to a close and you make your way to the gate, you hear footsteps approach you and you sense someone approaching you. “Hey y/n, I just wanted to ask you about one of the math problems from class today. I didn’t really understand it” Budo speaks to you, obviously trying to make an excuse to walk you home, but you don’t mind. He walks beside you discussing the problem bruh you reach your home.
You feel his hand fall to the small of your back as you two walk together, this brings butterflies to your stomach. Budo glances down as you walk up your driveway. The sight of you fills him with so much emotion. The way your soft cheeks glisten in the sunlight, the gentle sway of your hips as you walk, the way your cute little Akademi uniform clings your tummy, everything is just perfect. He waves goodbye to you as he walks to his own home.
That night you thought of making Budo a fresh batch of cookies as a gratitude gift. The next day, you walk into school and spot Budo walking in with the rest of the martial arts club. “Hey Budo!” I say waking over to him.
Before he could say good morning back I speak “thank you for protecting me yesterday. I-I brought you some fresh baked cookies. You don’t have to eat them if you don’t want but I just wanted to do something ni-“ your rambling is interrupted by Budo putting his hand on your shoulder. “Thank you for the cookies, but you don't have to buy me anything. I'm just doing my part as the Martial Arts Club leader. And I was only being a gentleman by accompanying you home; it's something that I'd do for anyone” Budo states as he continues to walk into the school.
“id do that for anyone”, those words ran in your head all day. Was what he said and did back in the garden, just because he felt bad for me? Did he not actually like me the same way I liked him? Was all of his actions just him being friendly? There was so thoughts in my mind.
Today, you decide to keep your distance from Budo so that you can clear your head and make some sense of your feelings. Budo noticed that you were avoiding him,but he didn't make an effort of contacting you. He just thought that you didn’t want to talk to him because of this morning. As you sit alone, you're filled with mixed emotions, excitement, frustration, uncertainty.
Your school day concludes and you walk to the gate like you always do. Still compressing the thoughts, but then you hear footsteps behind you. You can tell it’s Budo, because… well who else would it be. But his footsteps sound fast.
You turn around to feel his lips crash into yours with a passionate kiss. It sends a jolt of butterflies through your body as you melt into Budo's embrace. His hands caress the side of your face as he kisses you. It's like all your negative feelings are being erased, leaving only pure, blissful happiness.
You break the kiss as you look at him, this kiss lingers on your lips, almost tasting the sweetness from where his lips touched yours. “I've wanted to do that for so long... You're so beautiful.” He states, tilting his head a bit smiling at you.
Why now? Why all of a sudden? He was so distant a couple hours ago, why does he think this is the right time? You look away from is gaze with a concerned look. You can’t understand why all of a sudden he’s showing you affections after being distant all day.
He noticed this body language and takes a step back. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I should have asked before I did something like tha-”
“nonono! You didn’t! I- I just didn’t think you liked me the way I liked you” you meekly say adverting his gaze. He smiles and exhales as he moves closer, “Oh, honey... I've always thought you were so cute. You don't think I kept following you around because I hate you, do you? I thought you would have put two and two together by now, but I'm guessing you didn't pick up on those hints” he awkwardly smiles.
You make eye contact again but slowly look someplace else. “I just didn’t think someone like you could like someone…like me. The whole reason why I join your club is because Musume and her friends told me to lose some weight” Budo's expression widened hearing your wirds.
*flashback to before you met Budo*
“Ahaha y/n! Don’t you think you should lost some weight you fat pig” Hanna Daidaiyama comments walking by you. “Don’t you think you need to re-dye your roots bitch?!” You angrily snap back at her. She frantically looks around as she walks towards you and pushes you to the ground. “Yeah, but unlike you, I know how to fight” she says as she walks away.
You stand up and amidst yourself off, walking to the stairs of the first floor you see a post o Brie wall “Martial Arts Club! Come show off your self defense skills and learn new ones!” Those seems like exactly what you need. You rip the poster off the wall and go straight to the class
*back to present time*
Budo pulls you into a hug. “Don't let anyone tell you any different: you are beautiful. Those bullies were just jealous of your beauty, and they took it out on you just because they had some personal problems to deal with. I know you've gone through a lot, but I swear to you that everything is going to change. From here on out, none of that bullshit is going to happen again.”
You feel tears fill your eyes to this. You finally found someone who loves you for you, who doenst want to change you. “T-thank you Budo” you sob out.
He smiles as he wipes away your tears with his thumb “Oh, my sweet little angel~” He kisses you on the forehead and wipes a few more tears before gently placing his hand on your cheek. “I'm so happy that you're mine now” he tells you warmly as the smile grows wider and brighter than ever as he stares into your eyes.
You both walk home together and this time, when you get to your doorstep, you invite him into you house. Since your parents are out on a business trip it was just you and your dog “do you want to come inside?” You asks gesturing at the door. Budo face lights up as he nods ands walks inside. He follows you inside the hallway. He pets your dog softly, then smiles warmly as he turns to look at the inside of the house.
You both get to your room as you walk to the closet to change. YIY close the door and walk out in a hoodie and some shorts. Budo couldn’t stop staring at you as you sit on the bed. “Do you wanna watch a movie?” You ask him with a light blush on your cheeks, he smiles and agrees.
Budo curls around you tightly as he rests his head against your chest. Your soft, warm body is incredibly comforting, and he feels completely at peace. He wraps his arms carefully around you, and pulls you into a tight hug. He kisses your forehead.
“I guess listening to Musume actually did do something good for once hmm~” you exhale softly as you adjust your position to be more comfortable. Budo laughs at your comment and gently strokes your hair as he rests his head on your chest. “I guess that’s one thing to thank her for. I couldn’t be happier than I am right now”
You shifted your weight so your on my side, letting out a soft groan to the movement. Budo picked up on the slight noise and it sends shivers down his spine. He begins to caress your body more intimately, stroking your hair and running his hands along your side. His touch feels heavenly, and you could almost feel the heat coming from his palms.
You turn again to face him and lean in to a kiss. Budo wraps his arms around your waist, returning the kiss. Holding you tightly against him as he kisses back with all the passion in world. He then movers you up onto his lap in a quick movement.
You are surprised at his strength as no one else was able to move you like that before. His lips are warm and tender, and they feel like heaven as they make contact with your own. You feel your body heat up with excitement, and your mind becomes clouded with pure ecstasy.
Your hips begin to unconsciously start rocking on his groin, making his breath hitch. His hands start to roam your body going from your thick thighs and ending on your lump ass.
As you continue to ride him he throws his head back “Mmm~” he melts a deep moan escape his lips as his hands grip your ass tighter, urging you on.
He begins to take off your shirt when you put your hand over his go stop him “Budo are you sure about this?” You ask letting my insecurities get the better of you. “I-I just don’t want you to be… disappointed” I look down in shame. His hands go to my chip and it leads me to connect with his lips once more. “I love you and your body, there’s nothing about you that will disappoint me” I gives you a smile.
Grabs your wrist firmly, pulling your hand away from his “You are beautiful the way you are and II’ve every inch of you. You're perfect exactly as you are.” He reassures you as he continues to undress you.
His hands start to move your pants down to expose your stomach. He pecks kisses all over your body. Once your bottom parts are exposed, he kisses you deeper, his hand gently caressing your bare thigh, moving closer to your already wet pussy “You are so beautiful” his eyes hold yours as his hand moves further up your thigh, making you shiver from anticipation and desire.
He inserts two digits inside of you. “Oh my, looks like you wanted this as much as I did~” he says getting more hard by the minute as he pumps two digits in and out of you. You take his pants off as you start pumping his already hard cock in your chubby palm. “Ahh~ damn you good” his laugh turned into a moan as he continued to pump into you, now adding a third digit and hitting deeper.
Budo groans loudly "Fuck~, I can't take this much longer~" he breathes heavily as his hips buck into your hand. He feels his orgasm coming over him as he lets out a loud moan as he comes onto your hand. his whole body shivers as his breath hitches.
His eyes widen when you don’t stop pumping and you lower your plump ass onto his cock and begin moving. “W-wait wait wait! Ah~ fuck~” he moans out loud joy expecting you to overstimulate him.
As you continue to bounce, he in clasps your bra letting your heavy breasts fall and bounce freely he reaches up to cup your breasts and his mouth goes to your right nipple "You are so fucking beautiful right now," he muffles into your breast, his hands falling to your stomach massaging it slowly.
You couldn’t believe the amount of praise you were getting from this man in the moment. it was too much for you to handle. “ahh~ fuck Budo!” You yell out as you come to my climax and squirt over his cock.
He watches in amazement, watching the liquid seep out, feeling your tightness release around him “Oh my~” He whispers as he feels the warmth of your climax cover his cock, it's something he's never experienced before with another person.
His words snap you back to reality as you see the mess you made around you. “B-Budo I’m.. Fuck I-” before u ou could spew out your apology, he kisses you softly, “Don't worry about it honey~” he soothes, pressing his lips to the curve of your neck as both of your breathing patterns even out. “It was incredible”
You lean on his chests as you two both fall into a soothing sleep. Feeling each others chests rise and fall.
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thestupidhelmet · 9 months ago
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A6
AU T7S Where Kelso Doesn't Exist on the Show
This turned into an outline/first-draft hybrid of a fanfic I would call One Difference: Michael Kelso Doesn't Exist.
Quite a few twists. Lots of Zen. Plenty for the other characters, too.
Season 1
Jackie joins the basement gang because of Fez. Jackie enjoys his flattery and attention, but she hasn't promised him anything romantic or sexual. She also keeps her time in Eric's basement secret, acting like she doesn't know Fez, Donna, Eric, or Hyde while in school.
Hyde influences Eric to be more delinquent than he otherwise would be. Without Kelso as his partner in crime, Eric fills that role.
Eric gets into more trouble with both his parents because of his shenanigans with Hyde. Donna also finds Eric slightly hotter for his rebelliousness. In canon season seven, she tells Eric she thinks it's hot when he does naughty stuff.
Unfortunately for Eric, his parents don't agree. He doesn't get the Vista Cruiser, as he does in "That '70s Pilot" (1x01). They tell him that unless and until he acts responsible enough to have a car, he's not getting one from them.
Red's opinion about Hyde is also different. Instead of seeing Hyde as a good kid who's rough around the edges, he thinks Hyde's a danger to his son and tells Eric Hyde's no longer allowed in the house. He also tells Eric to let Hyde find another dumbass to get into trouble with.
Jackie wants to go to the junior prom so badly that she accepts Fez's invitation. Problem is that she's finding herself attracted to Hyde in spite of herself. Before Red banned him from the basement, regardless of how annoyed he is by Jackie, she's drawn to him.
Hyde is the only one who fights the guy (and his friends) who punched Eric unconscious in "Grandma's Dead" (1x23). Without Kelso there, Fez tries to help but is tossed aside and passes out.
Hyde gets more than a fat lip from that bar fight. He's bruised all over. He's allowed to go to Grandma Forman's funeral to support Eric (because of Kitty).
When Red sees Hyde, he assumes the worst about why Hyde's bruised and swollen. Eric tells Red what Hyde did for him, and that significantly changes Red's mind about Hyde.
Fez is confused as to why Jackie runs hot and cold with him. Hyde and Eric both answer that she's a nutbag and he should look for a girlfriend elsewhere. Donna, though, defends Jackie. They're friends now, and Jackie's helped Donna transition her friendship with Eric into a romance.
Fez decides to fight even harder for Jackie's love, and Hyde and Eric groan.
After Edna abandons Hyde, Red (without knowing yet what happened) lets Hyde join his for dinner three nights in one week. During these dinners, Red starts to understand that Hyde is a good boy who's rough around the edges. Kitty, who always liked Hyde, is grateful for how he stood up for her son.
Once Red and Kitty learn that Hyde's mom abandoned him, he allows Hyde to live with them on probationary status. Hyde has to cut out the nonsense and stop cutting classes.
Hyde excels at following Red's conditions, so much so that Eric becomes jealous. With Hyde no longer doing senseless stupid stunts, Eric decides to do a stunt of his own. He's got way more experience in it since Hyde essentially trained him in the art for eleven years.
Eric, who's earned the Vista Cruiser a third through the season, decides to take his mom's keys to the Toyota and find out how fast and far it can go on one tank of gas. Donna, Hyde, and Fez try to convince him not to.
Jackie is present for this moment, and she encourages Eric to go with his plan. This pisses off Donna and Hyde, but Fez finds it hot (despite not wanting Eric to do it).
Hyde tells Eric if he's gonna do something so stupid, Hyde better go with him.
Eric ends up swerving to avoid another car, but the Toyota's bumper falls off and the left taillight is busted. A good measure of paint has been scraped off.
When Red discovers what happened to his car, Hyde takes responsibility for it. Eric objects and says it's his fault. They fight over it, and Red fights internally with himself whether to blame Hyde and kick him out.
But, unlike Donna and Fez who have run off, Jackie steps in and says it was Eric's idea and that Hyde tried to stop him. She's a witness. She knows Hyde will be homeless if Hyde doesn't let Eric take responsibility, and then she'll lose access to him.
Red is relieved and disappointed. He makes Eric and Hyde work to pay off the car repairs. Rather than being upset by this punishment, Hyde feels more like part of the family.
Season 2
Fez tricks Jackie into a kiss during the movies. Once she realizes what he's doing, she stops him. With no Kelso to slug Fez, Jackie runs out of the theater.
Jackie tells Donna what happened and admits she liked the kiss. She's considering dating Fez in secret.Donna has two problems with this idea: one, Fez tricked her into a kiss, which doesn't set a good precedent for the start of a relationship; and two, Jackie shouldn't date Fez in secret. If Jackie has romantic feelings for him, she should be proud to date him and not let xenophobia -- or fear of others' xenophobia -- dictate how she lives her life.
Jackie says in this conversation that she's never had a boyfriend before and she's getting long in the tooth. It's time for her to start dating already. Fez is a terrible choice. "He worships me. He's great dancer, but ..."
Donna says, "He's foreign."
Jackie says, "No. I mean yes, but you're right that I shouldn't treat him like a dirty little secret. The problem is ... I love kissing, and Fez is good at it, but I'm not sure Fez is the one I want to kiss."
Donna, shocked and intrigued, says, "Is there someone else you want to kiss?"
Jackie becomes cagey, an obvious tell, and Donna calls her out on it: "There is someone you want to kiss! Who is it? Do I know him?"
Jackie, very uncomfortable, escapes the question by escaping the conversation (and Donna).
In the circle with Eric, Hyde, and Fez, Donna does her best to keep her mouth shut about Jackie. But Fez brings up how he kissed Jackie at the movies and that Jackie ran away afterward.
Eric and Hyde rag on Fez (and Jackie): "Why Jackie? I mean ... why Jackie?" "You found the Holy Grail, man -- the secret to gettin' Jackie to disappear."
Donna, unhappy about their burns, says, "Jackie liked the kiss, you jackasses -- " which makes Fez brighten -- "but she wants someone else to kiss her that way."
Fez, Hyde, and Eric: "Who?"
Donna: "I don't know. She wouldn't tell me."
Eric: "Oh, God -- that must mean it's one of us!"
Hyde: "Donna's hot. Wouldn't blame her."
Eric: "Not Donna. Us! You and me!"
Hyde: "No way, Forman. You make her sick, and she makes me sick. She wouldn't go after her best friend's boyfriend anyway."
Donna, Eric, and Fez: "How do you know that?"
Hyde: "Uh ... "
Donna (teasing, singing): "Hyde and Jackie sitting in ... in ... have you two ever sat in anything together?"
Fez (sad): "Only the remains of my heart."
Hyde: "Look, last winter at her ski cabin, she whined to me about wanting this guy Jake Bradley -- "
Eric: "The Jake Bradley? The Vikings quarterback?"
Hyde: "Yeah. But he's dating Kat Peterson, so that's never gonna happen."
Donna (remembering): "Right! And you tried to 'comfort' her by saying Jake wouldn't cheat on Kat with Pam Macy either, so Jackie's in good company.
Hyde (chuckling to himself): "That was a pretty good burn."
Donna: "You were a total jerk that weekend -- and not just to her."
Hyde: "Yup. I was. [Sincerely to Donna] Sorry, man. For all of it. No excuses. Just a reason: head was screwed up from my ma. Wouldn't want anyone to do to me what I did to you, and I'm glad we're still cool though I don't deserve it."
Donna's about to accept his apology, but Eric says, "What did you do to her?"
Fez (morose): "What I did to Jackie."
Eric (pissed and confused, to Hyde): "You kissed her in a movie theater in Alpine Valley?"
Donna and Hyde: "The ski cabin."
Hyde: "And she slapped me good. Too bad it didn't knock sense into my skull."
After this circle, Eric is uneasy about Hyde.
Laurie, bored, finds a sad Fez moping around the Forman driveway. She gets him to open up about Jackie's latest but as-yet unspoken romantic rejection of him. Laurie sees an opportunity to amuse herself.
Laurie: "You're a virgin, right?"
Fez: "Yes -- no! I have done it with many women. Like a stallion."
Laurie: "Mm-hmm. Care to prove it?"
Fez glances around. "Where?"
Laurie holds up the keys to her parents' Toyota and nods her head toward the car.
"B-b-but we could get caught!" Fez says.
"It'll be more fun that way," Laurie says and pulls Fez to the car.
A little later, Hyde goes to the driveway. The garage door is open. The Toyota is rocking. At first Hyde thinks the Formans are having sex, and he back away. Then Laurie screams, "Fez!" in passion (and in an attempt to get caught).
Hyde is more repulsed by the idea of Fez and Laurie screwing than the Formans and flees to The Hub.
At The Hub, Jackie is eating at a table alone. Hyde brings his tray of fries, a hot dog, and a soda to her table.
Jackie (suspicious and intrigued): "What do you want?"
Hyde: "You don't have to worry about Fez anymore."
Jackie: "Huh?"
Hyde: "Look, we all know he's been after you for months, but someone caught him in her web today. He's probably gonna stay there willingly, even if the spider sucks out his insides ... leavin' him a dried husk."
Jackie (annoyed): What are you talking about, Hyde?"
Hyde: "Spotted Laurie and Fez doing the backseat bossa nova."
Jackie: "Is that some kind of dance?"
Hyde (smirking): "Some kind. Doesn't require clothes. [To himself] Hope he's wearin' a condom."
Jackie (understanding): "HE'S HAVING SEX WITH LAURIE?"
Hyde winces at her shout. "You should be happy, man. Now that she's got Fez on his back, he'll get off yours."
Jackie: "I -- well -- who's gonna ... "
Hyde: "What?"
Jackie: "You'll just burn me if I tell you."
Hyde: "Likely. [Gently] You can still tell me."
Jackie: "It's just that ... I don't get a lot of attention at home, okay? And I have no boyfriend to lavish me with the adoration I totally deserve, so now that Fez'll be all over Laurie, I'm gonna be alone."
Hyde: "Not alone. Lonely."
Jackie: "What's the difference?"
Hyde: "Trust me; there's a difference."
Jackie stares at Hyde a moment. Then she says, "I do. I do trust you."
Hyde, realizing he made a big mistake, says, "I'm gonna take the rest of my lunch to-go." He stands up with his tray of food and leaves The Hub while Frank (the manager and cashier) yells at him about it. Hyde says, "I'll bring it back!" and hurries away outside.
Fez, exhilarated and a little scared by what happened between himself and Laurie, looks for someone to confide in. He wants someone who will react helpfully, so Eric's out. Hyde's at The Hub with Jackie, so Fez can't find him. Next door, however, is Donna.
Nervously, Fez relates to Donna that he just lost his virginity to Laurie. Donna's first reaction is disgust and shock, but she recovers and asks if he's okay. "And please tell me you used a condom."
Fez: "I don't know if I'm okay -- but yes, Pépé wore a coat. Laurie said I was all right, which is a synonym for *okay,* but did she really mean it? And the first-first time lasted five seconds. The second first time was eight minutes and -- "
Donna: "Spare me the second-by-second breakdown. Please. I want to know how you feel -- emotionally. Because, y'know, it's Laurie! And how did this even happen?"
Fez (laughing): "Oh, you silly virgins and you're silly questions. Sex-education in this country is very lacking. You see, women have -- "
Donna: "I know how sex works! I mean how did you and Laurie ... *why* did you and Laurie?"
Fez: "Oh. She was bored. I was heartbroken over Jackie, and now Fez is no longer a virgin. But what if Laurie just used me to burn Eric? Or if she'll never have sex with me again? Or if that will be my *only* time having sex? Because I liked it ... about four minutes into the second first time."
Donna wishes Hyde were the one Fez was talking to. She's very uncomfortable. She's also worried about how this situation will affect Fez and Eric. She says, "Laurie is always up to something. Whatever you do, even if it's having sex with her again, don't trust her. And don't mistake sex for love. They're totally not the same thing. And I think you should tell Eric right away. Like now."
Fez: "Wow. This is a lot to think about."
Donna: "I just don't want you or Eric to get hurt."
Donna supports Fez by being present in the basement when Fez tells Eric about Laurie. Eric has a negative reaction, and Donna tries to calm him down. Hyde enters the basement amid this bit of chaos.
Hyde: "So Forman knows Fez and Laurie did it, huh?"
Fez, Donna and Eric: "How do you know about that?"
Hyde: "I was there, man. In the driveway. Saw the Formans' Toyota rattling around. Once I spotted the cause, I was outta there."
Eric, hoping to find an ally, says to Hyde, "So what now? Laurie's not hanging out with us just 'cause she and Fez committed that abominable act."
Hyde (to Fez): "Whatever you do, whoever you do, is your business, man. Just don't make it ours, all right?"
Donna: "I already warned him not to fall in love with her."
Fez grows annoyed at his friends' controlling, unsupportive attitudes. He decides that if Laurie's interested in him, he'll have fun with her as long as it lasts.
Throughout the rest of the season, Fez and Laurie's strange relationship continues. Jackie's disgusted and thankful she'd realized she doesn't have romantic feelings for him early. Red is oblivious, but eagle-eyed Kitty recognizes that Laurie is "playing" with Fez (please excuse the unavoidable double entendre).
Kitty sits Laurie down and has a serious talk with her. Kitty knows Laurie is in no way faithful to Fez and doesn't want her to break Fez's heart. Laurie tries to reassure Kitty, albeit dismissively, that the heart isn't the organ Fez is concerned about.
Dissatisfied, Kitty goes to Red. Big mistake. Red puts the onus on Fez and tries to scare him off Laurie. Fez tells Laurie about this development, which makes her want Fez more.
Jackie tries to befriend Hyde, much to his annoyance. She likes how real he is, especially compared to the guys who are part of her social circle at school. She finds in his personality and demeanor aspects she feels she lacks within herself and is attracted (platonically) by that.
Hyde shows no interest in reciprocating any friendship until he witnesses at school a nasty encounter Jackie has with a very competitive cheer squad teammate, Julie. Julie is gunning for cheer captain for the varsity team next year. She sees Jackie as a threat and uses Jackie's lack of boyfriend as a way to spread rumors about her.
Hyde teaches Jackie his version of Zen so she can protect herself. He also introduces her to the circle in between lessons. Unfortunately, being Zen goes only so far when Jackie Burkhart is a lesbian (remember, 1970s) and other untrue statements about her are written on blackboards and whispered by students whenever Jackie walks into a classroom or a school hallway.
To mitigate these rumors, Jackie starts dating Chip. Hyde is wary of this development and keeps an eye on it.
Before Jackie and Chip's third date, at school Hyde questions Chip -- whom Hyde knows is a year older than Jackie and has bragged about previous sexual "conquests". Chip says what he and Jackie have is quid quo pro. Chip goes on a few dates with her, tolerates the yapping, and on the last date he gets to nail her.
Hyde: "Is tonight gonna be the last date?"
Chip: "Hell yeah. She's a bitch."
Pow!
Hyde lays out Chip with one punch. It's witnessed by a lot of students, including Jackie. Jackie wants to know what happened. Hyde manages to get out, "He said bitch. Last date. Nail you -- "
Unlike the Jackie of T7S Prime, this one is a virgin at this time on the show. She's sexually inexperienced, and she pieces together what Chip intended and why Hyde punched him.
Unfortunately, the school principal arrives. As he hauls Hyde to his office, Jackie shouts that she loves Hyde. Many students witness this moment, too.
The principal suspends Hyde from school for the rest of the year, which only has two weeks left, but it means he can't take his finals. He'll have to attend summer school and anger management classes.
Eric and Donna's stories in season 2 are relatively unaffected by Kelso's absence except as described above.
Season 3
Jackie happy-brags to Donna about what went down and why Hyde has to go to summer school. Donna thinks what Hyde did is noble but that Jackie needs to tell her dad about it since the principal doesn't know.
Jackie thinks Donna's idea is great. She does tell her father, who uses his influence to get Hyde out of anger management and a commendation on his transcript for community spirit-- despite the principal condemning the use of violence to solve issues. Chip is expelled because of Jack's influence (and fury that someone thought to hurt his daughter in such a way).
Hyde remains suspended for one week but is allowed to return to school to take his finals.
Jackie is flustered that Hyde doesn't thank her for her intervention on his behalf. He protected her, and she protected him, so -- to her mind -- they should be really close now.
When Jackie confronts Hyde about his lack of gratitude, he tells her he never would've had to punch the guy (Chip) if Jackie didn't give into social pressure. Although this statement is victim-blaming, Jackie does think hard about how toxic her social circle is and tells Hyde he's right. She'll choose her friends better. In fact, he'll be seeing a lot more of her from now on.
Hyde complains to Eric and Donna about this latest situation. Donna's pissed at Hyde for blaming Jackie for Chip nearly taking advantage of her.
Eric, meanwhile, is still focused on Fez and Laurie's relationship and says he bets Laurie took advantage of Laurie, but no one was around to punch her before she could get to him -- not that a man should punch a lady. But if Donna had been there ...
Donna slaps Eric's shoulder and tells him to pay attention to the matter at hand.
Hyde takes to heart Donna's point about victim-blaming Jackie and wants to make it right. He apologizes to Jackie, in his own way. He says, "I get feelin' pressured, and sometimes it puts us in situations we don't know are dangerous. Chip is a sneaky bastard, and you're not used to sneaky bastards. I am, but you couldn't have seen what he had planned for ya. Even if you could -- "
Jackie: "You're rambling, Steven."
Hyde: "I don't ... yeah, okay, I do. I am. Anyway, I'm sorry for acting like a dillhole after I punched Chip. I kinda punched you, too, with my words."
Jackie: "Yeah, you did. It really hurt ... and not only because I really like you."
Hyde: "You shouldn't -- like me, I mean. I'm no good. But under your abrasive, bossy exterior is someone I can stand to be around."
Jackie (touched): "Aw! Does this mean we're friends?"
Hyde: "I knocked a guy's teeth in 'cause he called you a bitch and planned to do a lot worse, and you had your dad bail me out of goin' to summer school and more. People who hate each other generally don't do things like that, so ... "
Jackie (excitedly, hugging Hyde): "We're friends! Hey, why don't we go to the Sizzler for dinner and celebrate?"
Hyde (uncomfortable): "I'm not sure we -- "
Jackie: "I'll pay."
Hyde (now agreeable): "You've had a rough couple of weeks. Let's go, kid."
Jackie and Hyde's arc in season three is their growing friendship that they manage to conceal from everyone but Mrs. Forman. She keeps it mostly to herself but talks to Red about it. Red approves because of his experience with her in "Career Day" (1x18).
Fez and Laurie's relationship ends when Fez discovers that Laurie's cheating on him. His friends say they all warned him but still display various levels of sympathy.
Donna says, "Why did you like her so much anyway? She was mean to you most of the time."
Fez: *She had sex with me, Donna. Regularly! How could I not love a woman like that?"
Hyde: "Dude, you didn't love her."
Fez: "I loved that she had sex with me. Regularly! And sometimes strangely, which I also enjoyed very much."
To help Fez get over Laurie, Hyde takes Fez "cruising for chicks". It cheers Fez up a little, but he's relatively down the rest of the season.
Eric never gets the idea of getting Donna a promise ring because Kelso doesn't exist to give it to him. Still, Ric and Donna's relationship goes downhill because of h increasing independence and his increasing insecurity.
At the end of the season, Eric has an important conversation with Donna. He says, "When do you think we'll get married? Before college or after college?"
Donna (laughing, thinking he's joking): "Why not tomorrow? We could drive to Vegas, and an Elvis impersonator can officiate."
Eric: "I'm serious. Donna, I can't imagine my life without you."
Donna (stunned): "Are you, like, proposing?"
Eric: "Hypothetically if I were, what would you say?"
Donna: "I'd say, 'We're seventeen and have no idea where our lives will take us.'"
Eric: "But wherever they take us, you see us together ... don't you?"
This question leads to the rest of their breakup scene in "Promise Ring" -- minus the actual ring.
Season 4
Eric's depression proceeds as it does on the show. For the first half of the season, he dates random girls. Donna doesn't date.
The heartbroken Eric and Fez set up the get-Hyde-a-girlfriend party. Jackie invites Rhonda -- not because Jackie's insecure about not being the prettiest girl at the party but doesn't want to find Hyde a potential girlfriend. Fez and Rhonda hit it off.
With no Kelso and no vanity-driven insecurity, Jackie stays at the party and watches Hyde closely but sneakily. She's relieved when he doesn't seem seriously interested in any of the girls.
After a short absence, Hyde returns to the party with Melissa. Jackie recognizes how disrespectful and manipulatively Melissa treats Hyde. Once Melissa leaves, Jackie pulls Hyde aside.
Jackie: "Melissa's really pretty."
Hyde (still dazed by his attraction to Melissa): "Uh-huh ... "
Jackie: "She's also everything you hate about me."
Hyde: "What?"
Jackie: "You clearly didn't pay attention to how she acted. She was bossy, mean, and -- and -- what's that word you taught me, when you described how your mom used to give you the silent treatment whenever you pissed her off by blinking too loud?"
Hyde: "Withholding."
Jackie: "That's it! She's emotionally withholding, and she's gonna use that as a weapon against you if you date her. I can see it already."
Hyde (annoyed): "Jackie, I spent an hour with her. You can't tell all that."
Jackie: "You had one conversation with Chip, and you knew exactly what he had planned for me."
Hyde: "Because he told me!"
Jackie: "And Melissa told me. I might not have your sexual experience or whatever, but I'm an expert in manipulation. ... Just think about what happened between you two tonight before you call her, okay?"
Hyde (mostly because he wants to end the conversation): "... Okay."
But Hyde does as Jackie asks. He flashes back to how his mom treated his dad (Bud) and eventually himself. Melissa did seem to resent him already, and he'd end up resenting her. She might be a great girl -- but not for him. She clearly doesn't think he's enough for her as he is now. Not a great way to start a relationship.
At The Hub a few days later, Donna tells Hyde that Melissa told her he never called. Donna asks why.
Hyde: "You called me whipped after she left the party. That was enough."
Donna: "Oh, come on, Hyde. I was teasing. Melissa's really cool. You're cool. I don't think you should miss out on each other."
Hyde: "And I don't think you and Forman should've broken up. You obviously miss each other, but what can I do about it?"
Hyde hit the target he was aiming for. Donna, emotional and pissed, leaves The Hub.
Jackie arrives at The Hub and passes Donna, who says, "Hyde's being a jackass today. I wouldn't sit with him."
Jackie does sit with Hyde, however, and she gets him to spill about not calling Melissa and his interaction with Donna.
"Thanks, by the way, for lookin' out for me," he says.
Jackie: "That's what friends do even when it might piss their friend off like you did Donna."
Hyde: "She'll get over it. Don't know how she and Forman'll get over each other, though."
"Tornado Prom" (4x15) happens a few episodes earlier in this AU. Jackie really wants to win Snow Queen, but she laments to Hyde that she has no date. Hyde shrugs. Jackie says, "You could take me."
Hyde: "I could, but I won't. Plan on partying in the principal's office."
Jackie: "You can still do that. But if you're my date, the teacher-chaperones won't be as watchful of you."
Hyde: "Huh. ... All right. I owe you for Melissa -- and I hate owing anyone -- but no dancing."
Jackie: "Five dances, and you wear a tuxedo."
Hyde: "No dances, and I wear a shirt and pants."
Jackie: "Steven!"
Hyde: "Whatever. One dance."
Jackie: "Four and a tux. I'll rent it."
Hyde: "Two dances, and I wear the suit Bud left me after he -- well, left me the first time."
Jackie: "That mustard thing? Ew! ... Three dances, a nice suit jacket, pants, dress shirt, and tie I'll buy you, and I distract any teachers who might be eyeing you."
Hyde: "Deal."
During his dances with Jackie at Snow Prom, Hyde begins to realize his romantic, aesthetic, and sexual attraction to Jackie. It scares him. After their third dance, he definitely wants to have his circle in the principal's office. Jackie joins him with Fez and Rhonda.
Jackie falls asleep. Hyde draws a unibrow on her forehead. She wins Snow Queen, and Jake Bradley wins Snow King. Jackie is elated but can't understand why everyone in the gym is laughing at her. Then she sees her face in a mirror and knows Hyde is the culprit.
Jackie is furious, but instead of letting humiliation get the best of her, she goes Zen. Everyone is impressed, including Hyde -- and he knows now he's in big trouble.
After "Tornado Prom," Eric realizes he'll never get over Donna if he doesn't actually try. Without Jackie setting Donna up with Casey Kelso, Eric's able to focus on his own date life. He asks out Shelly ("Eric's Panties" [3x06], who is happy to go out with him.
Donna's emotional spiraling begins again. She doesn't want to date anyone, but she's afraid Eric and Shelly might actually have a chance at a relationship (unlike his previous dates).
Jackie (to Donna): "Oh, my God, you still love him!"
Donna: "Of course I do, but that doesn't mean I can be with him. He tried to control my life."
Jackie: "No, he confessed his undying commitment to you, and you rejected it."
Donna: "Because the second I carved out a little piece of my life just for myself, he freaked!"
Jackie: "Someone who loves you as much as Eric does would be willing to work through that."
Donna: "How do you know? You've never even had a boyfriend."
Jackie: "No, but I understand love and that it takes compromises and work ... and trust."
Donna: "Then I guess I don't trust Eric to work on compromising with me."
Jackie: "He compromised with you all the time!"
Donna: "I compromised with him. Until I was sick of him refusing to respect me enough to do the same."
Jackie: "Have you ever told him that?"
Donna: "I told him to trust me."
Jackie: "That's not the same thing."
Donna: "It should've been enough."
Jackie: "Obviously, it wasn't."
Donna: "Well, that's not my problem."
Jackie (mockingly): "'That's not my problem.'" [She pinches Donna's arm, and Donna cries out in pain and anger.] "Who's problem is it, then? Eric's, someone who Shelly or another girl might give a chance to let him learn from his mistakes and be happy? Or the person so stubborn she'll end up alone and miserable because she's in love with someone who needs more time to understand what he's doing wrong?"
Donna can't absorb Jackie's insight all at once, but the seed is planted.
Jackie's parents find out that Hyde took Jackie to Snow Prom. They think she's dating him, despite her protestations to the contrary: "We're just friends! He'll tell you the same thing!"
Jackie's parents want her to stop hanging out in the Formans' basement. She can go to Donna's house, but if she keeps going to the Formans', her father will cut her off financially.
Jackie has more than Hyde to lose. Despite that Donna doesn't go to the basement as often, especially now that Eric's dating Shelly, Jackie will miss all her friends there.
In the basement, Jackie announces her conundrum without saying that Hyde's the reason for it. She says her dad wants her to spend more of her spare time with her "real" friends from the cheer squad and in her own grade. She's decided, though, to get a job because she knows everyone here will miss her too much.
Eric, Donna, Fez, Rhonda, and Hyde's reactions are unenthusiastic. But in private, Hyde asks Jackie what the actual deal is.
Jackie, to her surprise, admits the truth. Hyde laughs and says, "That's ridiculous. Your folks are ... "
Jackie: "Ridiculous! I know! You'd never like me that way."
Hyde: "Right. Never. And you wouldn't date a poor, lowerclass burnout dirtbag."
Jackie: "Exactly! Not that you're a dirtbag ... or poor in the non-money sense. You're richer in every other way that counts compared to the sons of my parents' upperclass friends."
Hyde (sensing the awkwardness between them): "So you're getting a job, huh?"
Jackie: "I'm going to the mall. Maybe Halverson's is look for someone pretty to model its clothes."
Jackie ends up at the Cheese Palace, hired to hand out cheese samples to potential patrons. She has to take the bus to the mall and back because her dad took away her keys to the Lincoln.
Hyde feels partially responsible for Jackie's situation, so he drives her home from work when his own work schedule allows.
Eric catches Todd "the Cheese Guy" kissing Jackie (Todd had tricked her when she was down about her parents' lack of trust in her and low opinion of Hyde).
Jackie doesn't want Eric telling anyone because she's humiliated that her second real kiss was due to being tricked by another boy. Moved by compassion, Eric keeps her secret.
Except that Jackie feels like she cheated on Hyde in some way.
By the end of the season, Fez doesn't get terrible advice from Casey Kelso, and his relationship with Rhonda is intact.
Donna has grown completely depressed. She refuses to try to break up Eric and Shelly by telling Eric she loves him. She had her chance to work through the toughest part of her relationship with Eric, and they both blew it. She needs to get away for the summer, and she heads to the bus station -- and California -- to stay with her mom.
What Donna doesn't know is that Eric has broken up with Shelly. He's still in love with Donna, and he can accept living in the now with her and leave the future unwritten.
Jackie tells Hyde about what happened with Todd. Hyde says she doesn't need to confess to him. He's no priest.
Jackie: "I do. I feel terrible about it, Steven. He tricked me!"
Hyde (growing protective): "What do you mean by tricked?"
Jackie: "He offered to give !e a sympathetic hug because of my parents, you know? But he turned his face, and his lips pushed against mine, and we were kissing. I was so confused, but I kissed him back! Just like I was confused when Fez tricked me at the movies and kissed me -- and I kissed him back."
Jackie (tearing up): "My teammates are right about me: I'm a naive loser. God, I've never been kissed by a boy I've chosen to kiss. Who I've wanted to kiss. And -- and if you hadn't looked out for me another boy, Chip, might've done a lot worse."
Hyde (consoling): "Hey ... hey, that sucks. But it's not your fault, all right? I didn't get to choose most things about my life, either, but I got to choose my friends. Like you."
Jackie feels a little better, but her first tear falls.
Hyde: "Listen, any guy you choose to kiss someday will be lucky."
Jackie: "Any guy?"
Hyde: "Well, someone who wants to kiss you back."
Jackie: "Would you want to?"
Hyde (flushing a little): "If you kissed me ... it would be cool."
Jackie: "That can mean anything!"
Hyde: "I wouldn't hate it. ... Hell, I'd probably like it."
Jackie places her hand on Hyde's cheek. She kisses him gently. He responds gently -- at first -- then they're making out with each other heavily. Fade to black.
Eric goes to the Pinciottis' house to tell Donna about his breakup and what he's learned about trusting the moment. Unfortunately, Donna's not there. Bob and Joanne don't know where she is. They let Eric wait for her in her room. He waits a long time.
Season 5
Jackie and Hyde's romantic relationship develops over the summer. They keep it a secret because Eric is sad and mopey about Donna. They also want the relationship to be just theirs while in its beginning stages, without their friends' opinions.
Hyde gets Eric the plane ticket (using Eric's Candy Land stash) to go to Donna in California. Hyde and Fez cover for his absence.
Eric and Donna reconcile in California. Without Casey being an issue, and Eric explaining that he dumped Shelly and never had sex with her because he never stopped loving Donna, they actually deal with what broke them up.
When Fez and Rhonda catch Hyde and Jackie in the basement post-kissing -- unlike Fez -- Rhonda recognizes what they walked in on. Hyde decides to act Zen about it. Jackie follows his lead.
Rhonda: "That doesn't work on me. I know love when I see it."
Hyde (laughing nervously): "Love? I don't love, man. I tolerate."
Jackie: "No, no, no. I tolerate. You're so overwhelmed by my beauty that I tolerate making out with you."
Fez (to Rhonda): What are they doing?
Rhonda: "Acting like two in love dorks. Want to see if Mrs. Forman has any peach cobbler left over?"
Fez: "I suppose I could tolerate that."
With Rhonda and Fez gone, Jackie says, "Steven, are we dorks?"
Hyde: "Nope."
Jackie: "Are we ... in love?"
Hyde: "How's about we quit talking and get back to what we were doin'?"
Jackie and Hyde continue to make out but wonder about Jackie's question.
Donna and Eric return from California.
Without Kelso, Jackie and Hyde's arc consists of figuring out just how they feel about each other, supporting each other through life issues (e.g., Jackie's dad going to prison) and not always getting it right the first or second time.
Eric and Donna don't get engaged this season. They're too busy finding the balance between their fears, individual desires, and how all that affects their relationship.
During the senior prank, Eric, Fez, and Hyde are present. Eric tried to get artistic and paint a tribute to Donna. He miscalculated his reach and fell off the water tower. Hyde leaves Fez to check on Eric. Fez is arrested.
Jackie is afraid to admit to Hyde she loves him. Hyde is afraid he's unlovable, but Kitty reassures him and says, "Maybe Jackie has to hear it first."
Hyde: "And if she laughs in my face?"
Kitty: "Steven, you've loved that girl for years. You can deny it all you like, but a mother knows. And if you've chosen someone worthy of your love, which I believe you have, you'll hear the right thing."
Jackie, meanwhile, has gone to Red -- who doesn't want to get involved but does. Jackie says, "When did you first tell Mrs. Forman you love her?"
Red: "Between when I fought in World War II and the Korean War."
Jackie, despite knowing Hyde would never join the military and dislikes conflict of any kind, decides she'll have to take drastic action.
Jackie finds Hyde in the Formans' basement. She says she's declaring war on him.
Hyde, confused since he and Jackie haven't had any serious fights in a while, says, "Before you do that -- whatever that means -- I've got somethin' to tell you."
Jackie wants to speak first, but she's learned that she has a tiny window when Hyde is open and vulnerable enough to say important things to her. She doesn't want him to shut down, so she gestures her assent.
Hyde: "I love you. ... Okay, go declare war."
Jackie, taken a back says, "I -- I ... I admit defeat. I love you, too!"
Hyde (unsure): "You what?"
Jackie: "Mr. Forman went through one war and was about to fight in another when he told Mrs. Forman he loves her. So I thought if I declared war by telling you I love you that either we'd both win or both lose. I just needed a definitive answer."
Hyde (laughing): "You are one freaky, freaky chick. Glad we both won. Medical care for vets in this country, 'specially mental care, sucks. Have you seen that guy on Sherman? He -- "
Jackie quiets him with a kiss. "Another time, Steven. This war is over."
Hyde kisses her back.
Rhonda marries Fez so he can stay in the country. Red doesn't have a heart attack.
Eric, inspired by Fez and Rhonda, proposes to Donna at the end of the season. We don't get her answer.
Season 6
Kitty is devastated that Eric and Hyde are leaving for college. Eric says, "It's in Kenosha. We'll be less than forty-five minutes away."
As in The Middle, we get the characters' college experiences, but they're in Point Place for the majority of episodes.
We learn that Donna said yes to Eric's proposal by seeing the engagement ring on her finger. Their arcs revolve around keeping their engagement secret, accidentally revealing it, and their parents' reactions on top of dealing with college life and sharing a house with Hyde, Fez, and Rhonda off-campus.
With Donna out of the house, Bob spends his fatherly attention on Jackie. It's helpful and annoying, and then her mom returns to town. The conflict this arrival creates is handled more seriously than it is on the show with Kelso.
Hyde struggles in college. He's smart but not academically inclined. His temperament is much better suited to an apprenticeship, learning a craft by doing the craft. He's scared.
During one weekend, Hyde learns Hyde bought Wilson & Son's Muffler Shop. He asks Red if he can work there on the weekends. Red hears the uncertainty in Hyde's voice and gets the truth out of him.
Hyde says he doesn't want to disappoint him or Mrs. Forman after all they've done for him.
Red says part of being an adult is making one's own path. Red will hire Hyde full-time if that's what Hyde wants. Hyde agrees.
Hyde then has to go through the process of telling everyone else. Mrs. Forman is worried but trusts Red to teach Hyde well -- and is happy he'll be moving back into the house.
Jackie is shocked, but she ultimately supports Hyde in his decision. She's also happy he'll be next door instead of forty minutes away.
Eric, Donna, and Fez are not happy, especially Eric. He's afraid Hyde will end up like one of his cousins. But Donna says Red owns a muffler and car repair business, not a gas station. If Hyde's happier, then he needs to make this change for himself.
Once Red and Kitty learn of Donna's engagement, they try to stop it. Shenanigans enue for a few episodes until Eric and Donna finally get the chance to tell them that the marriage won't take place until after college, which they're in.
Rhonda learns she's pregnant at the end of the season.
Hyde receives a letter in the mail from someone who claims to be his sister.
Season 7
Part of Hyde's arc is learning about his biological father and that side of the family. He's been working for Red for eight months, but W.B. works in music, and that's Hyde's true calling. Red lets Hyde go from the muffler shop.
Fez and Rhonda deal with Rhonda's pregnancy while going to college.
Donna gets the opportunity to study abroad in Paris for her junior year. Eric wants to go with her, and he applies for the same opportunity. Odds are against him, but he studies hard, inadvertently distancing himself from Donna she doesn't know why.
Near the end of the season, Eric learns he's accepted. Donna finally understands and wishes he'd told her. He didn't because he didn't want to get either of their hopes up.
Jackie is accepted togoing to NYU in New York City. She's torn because Hyde manages Grooves in Point Place. W.B., though, just happens to be expanding his business into the Northeast. Hyde will run the giant, new flagship store with Angie's help.
Rhonda has the baby. It's a girl, ten pounds, eight ounces. Fez is a proud papa.
Red and Kitty face the fact they'll truly be empty nesters. "Until Eric's senior year," Red says, "when he and Donna will be back in Wisconsin."
The show ends with the Vista Cruiser driving away. We see the license plate, and Hyde shouts (unseen): "Goodbye, Wisconsin!"
Jukebox Ask Game
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lordterronus · 1 year ago
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@scrubthings
@zen-unknown
Solomon and Mio.
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my favorite fic trope 
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mikefrawley · 8 months ago
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It's all About Forgiveness Mike (04-06-24)
I'm not quite sure why just yet, but today for me was my first ever be good to Mike Day. It was a beautiful Spring Day here in South Florida and I just knew it was time to spoil myself, which is an action I haven't taken in a very long time. Before I get into this story too deep, I want to pause a moment and thank my many friends for your love and support as I've started taking baby steps on a path I've been afraid to walk and addressing some inner child issues which have troubled me for most of my life, Okay, back to spoiling myself, but first I really want let all of you know just how much I love and appreciate you. Thank you! So, where was I? It was early Saturday Morning and I took a nice leisurely drive to the nicest Publix in town for my weekly shopping, and I realized that it was time to stop living like an active addict who can barely pay the rent and enjoy life a little bit. So, aside from the usual groceries I also bought some gourmet k-cups of coffee to share with my friends at work and took a different way home so I could tryout a new Starbucks which is my weekly splurge. Then armed with my Vanilla Latte I returned home and relaxed for a bit. At home I wrote a new poem which as is the case with many of us here is my true love. After finishing I just felt like getting out of the house and enjoying my day. I haven't bought a new book for myself in well over twenty years, so I decided to take a mini road trip to Barnes and Noble. After leisurely browsing a bit, I grabbed an excellent book by my favorite teacher, author, and poet, Thich Nhat Hanh, or Thay (teacher in Vietnamese) as he is known. The title is ZEN AND THE ART OF SAVING THE PLANET. After that I must confess I did go over the top a bit and stopped by a second Starbucks which was right next door and treated myself to another fancy coffee. Hey, as I said, it was be good to Mike Day. Sunday I leisurely sat outside reading my new book, meditating and just enjoying the moments as they passed. Please forgive me if this is a bit boring but my wish is that someone else suffering with self-destructive thoughts and feelings, may realize that they too are good enough and very much worthy of love. Well I guess that's enough (too much), but please do remember that you are indeed much loved!
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konjaku · 15 days ago
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黄立羽[Kitateha] Polygonia c-aureum
黄[Ki] : Yellow
立[Tate] : 立てる[Tateru], to stand up, to erect
羽[Ha] : Wing
立羽 is 立羽蝶[Tatehachō], which means Brush-footed butterfly(Nymphalinae). Tateha is so named because it folds its wings and puts them up when perching on something. The length of the forewings is about three centimeters, and it is a common species. 蝶 means butterfly. It is 野紺菊[Nokongiku](Aster microcephalus var. ovatus) that Kitateha is perching on.
芥川龍之介[Akutagawa Ryūnosuke] wrote the following in the short story 羅生門[Rashōmon]. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rashōmon_(short_story)
どうにもならない事を、どうにかするためには、手段を選んでいる遑はない。
[Dō nimo naranai koto wo, dō nika suru tame niwa, shudan wo erande iru itoma wa nai.] There is no time to choose the means to deal with things that cannot be helped. Source: https://www.aozora.gr.jp/cards/000879/files/127_15260.html
It is possible to do that because humans are creatures that can move on their own. Plants, on the other hand, accept every situation as it is, and, 禅[Zen] has something in common with this.
In the winter of 1828, when a major earthquake hit Sanjō, Echigo Province (Niigata Prefecture today), Zen monk 良寛[Ryōkan](1758 - 1831) wrote the following in a letter to a stricken friend. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryōkan
災難に逢ふ時節には災難に逢ふがよく候 死ぬる時節には死ぬがよく候 是は(これ)災難をのがるゝ妙法にて候
[Sainan ni au jisetsu niwa sainan ni au ga yoku sōrō Shinuru jisetsu niwa shinu ga yoku sōrō Kore wa (kore) sainan wo nogaruru myōho nite sōrō] When calamity strikes, it is good to be in calamity When the time is appropriate to die, it is good to die This is the excellent method of escaping from calamity Source: https://dl.ndl.go.jp/pid/957395/1/140
He also wrote the following poem.
花󠄁無心招蝶、蝶無心尋󠄁花󠄁、花󠄁開時蝶來、蝶來時花󠄁開、吾亦不知人、人亦不知吾、不知從帝則
[Hana wa mushin nishite chō wo maneki, chō wa mushin nishite hana wo tazunu. Hana hiraku toki chō kitari, chō kitaru toki hana hiraku. Ware mata hito wo shirazu, hito mata ware wo shirazu, shirazushite teisoku ni shitagau.] A flower mindlessly invites a butterfly, a butterfly mindlessly visits a flower. When the flower blooms the butterfly comes, when the butterfly comes the flower blooms. I do not know what is in people's heart, people do not know what is in my heart either. Unknowingly I follow the natural order of things. Source: https://dl.ndl.go.jp/pid/968898/1/210
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lurkingshan · 1 year ago
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Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people
Tagged by @sorry-bonebag. Like you, I’m often a comfort reader even more than a comfort watcher (I love rereading books and in fact am rereading one right now) but I do also go back to shows sometimes when my stress is high. During the early pandemic I did a whole run through of all my favorite sitcoms (Schitts Creek, Parks & Rec, Brooklyn 99, New Girl) before Asian dramas took over my brain full time.
Amongst Asian dramas, here are the ones I go back to when I just want some relaxation for my brain:
Romance is A Bonus Book. This drama is so cozy. Friends to lovers set in a publishing company with two besties who take pleasure in caring for each other while reading books. What could be more comforting, I ask you.
Anything with Park Seo Joon. I just like looking at him, and he’s got several romcoms that fill this need nicely—What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim, Fight for My Way, She Was Pretty, Witch’s Romance.
Bad Buddy. I’m just never ever tired of these two and seeing them smile at each other through the pain warms my heart.
Just Between Lovers. Now you might think this one is weird because it’s about a traumatic accident and parts of it are quite stressful, but this is ultimately a healing romance and I feel healed when I watch it.
An Incurable Case of Love. It’s just cute! And the male lead does an excellent kabedon.
Go Ahead. I haven’t actually rewatched this one yet but I absolutely will be doing so many times in the future. Every time I hear the theme song my body enters the zen zone.
Hospital Playlist. Sometimes when life is hard you just want to stare at Lee Ik Jun and watch a group of pals do good shit and sing about it.
Old Fashion Cupcake, Our Dating Sim, and Semantic Error. Putting these together because they hit the same sweet spot of being perfect short form dramas that deliver a strong dopamine hit.
What Did You Eat Yesterday? No I will not be making any lists that don’t include this show anytime soon. It doesn’t matter what the question is, the answer is WDYEY.
Coffee Prince. Gong Yoo, a compelling romance, and a perfectly executed queer awakening with a well-earned happy ending. I’ll probably watch it 12 more times.
Tagging @bengiyo @neuroticbookworm @negrowhat @ranchthoughts @kayatoasted @slayerkitty @so-much-yet-to-learn @isaksbestpillow @miscellar @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle if you want to play!
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lordterronus · 1 year ago
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Big day incoming, people. Mark those calendars.
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warningsine · 8 months ago
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Now that we’ve gotten to the end of Girls5eva season three, there’s just 6 much we’ve seen the girl group sing about: the hotness of boys in space, UTIs, knee surgery. But in the quest to be famous 5eva, one song has to be No. 1. Using a highly scientific process known as “listening to my own taste,” I ranked the output of Girls5eva thus far, focusing both on whether the songs are good as stand-alone songs and whether they are actually funny. For the sake of clarity, I stuck to the music available on the show’s official cast recordings, which does leave off several gems we only hear for a few seconds onscreen. (Why didn’t we get a studio version of Dawn’s song where she uses every possible definition of the word “set”? This is a question I can only yell fruitlessly at the screen and hope for a response.) Until then, we will make do with this list of the excellent Girls5eva material that is available on a music-streaming service near you.
32) “U Ready?” A filler song that is itself a joke about filler songs, you have to admire the number of ways the Girls5eva writers have the group stall for time. The delivery is very funny, and we get all the girls (including Ashley Park) doing their best ready-for-MTV voices to confirm they are, indeed, “in the house” and “ready.” However, the concept is better as an elaborate joke than a song, per se. Best line: “If you’re ready, could you say ‘ready’? Because you could be ‘in the house’ and not ‘ready.’”
31) “Home Alone Doorknob” This is barely a song, but man, it’s a funny metaphor for what happens to your clitoris when you get horny. Best line: “It’s gonna get sexy, so watch out, Joe Pesci!”
30) “The Splingee” Another exercise in specific girl-group humor, Girls5eva describes how to do a “dope” dance move that is supposedly taking the world by storm. It involves whipping your hair, doing figure eights with your waist, blinking with two eyes, and getting all shy like you want to cry. The instructions end with the note that “the only thing left to do is repeat it two more times to make one complete splingee.” Honestly, it sounds like a home workout I should try. Best line: “Grind up on a ghost, then shake it out.”
29) “Who U Know” A solo performance by Jeremiah Craft’s Lil Stinker (who later gets canceled and rebrands as a country act), this is a send-up of name-dropping rap singles, with Stinker just listing everyone he knows, from his mom to his friend’s mom to Alfre Woodard. Best line: “From Zendaya to Zen-die-a!”
28) “No Strings” Gloria spends season three trying to hook up with every type of woman, but realizes that she’s a romantic after all. Here, she’s trying to embrace a no-strings-attached dynamic through a nonsensical folk tune that’s about a couple chasing the moon in an airplane powered by love. Best line: “A morning that never came until the coroner said to the wizard ‘time of death,’ the same.”
27) “Line Up” ”This is the song that launches Girls5eva’s comeback, since Lil Stinker samples “Famous 5eva” on it. We’ll get to their original hit later on, but the Stinker side of it is pretty generic as a placeholder for the kind of song that might sample something from the early 2000s. Best line: “I know you wanna light up, forever 5eva enough.”
26) “Thinking About Myself” One of Dawn’s stabs at songwriting early in season two, this is a fairly direct ballad about self-involvement. It does have some great zealous grandstanding vocals from Renée Elise Goldsberry, though. Best line: “Crying harder than anyone at a funeral for a great-uncle I barely knew.”
25) “Space Boys” In the chronicles of Girls5eva’s adventures in dating, here we have them going on an interstellar boy-kissing mission. Sadly they don’t have a TARS to keep them company, but after checking every planet they can (including “the stars”) they find some space boys (“more exotic than a waiter from France!”). On the show, the song accompanies some flashbacks to a young Gloria trying to avoid making out with actual boys, but solely as music, it’s just a low-key sci-fi jam. Best line: “We found a planet full of girls, but we left!”
24) “Later” An empowerment song in the genre of “Brave,” sung of course by Sara Bareilles, but about procrastination. The drum and piano orchestrations are so inspiring it’s easy to ignore that the message is that you really don’t need to do anything right now. Best line: “Now’s the not the right time, let’s aim for next year when we’ll have no fear, maybe by then the problems got solved by themselves all on their own.”
23) “Boyz Next Door (Puber-Dude)” To match the queasy sexualization of the Girls5eva, this number offers up the chance to objectify the just-recently pubescent members of Boyz Next Door, who have become the “hottest boys in the cul-de-sac” with a “Backstreet’s Back”–style anthem of their own. Who could resist their thin little mustaches, awkward growth spurts, and bland conversation? Best line: “Floppy hair, greasy brow, Adam’s apple going pow-pow-pow.”
22) “Sweet’N Low Daddy” Another vault track: In season three, the adult members of Girls5eva are pretty embarrassed by the message of their old hit about the benefits of dating an older man, but man, it’s pretty catchy, so you can understand why Cat Cohen’s character took it as gospel. Their ideal daddy has parents you never need to meet because they died during Nixon, and, of course, the song ends with the crucial question: “Real talk, when are you going to die?” Best line: “Don’t need to graduate, because we’re elder bait!”
21) “Can’t Wait 2 Wait” Back in the day, Busy Phillips’s Summer and Andrew Rannells’s Kev collabed on this break-out Christian-pop single about the joys of not having sex yet. Its fun hook and a peppy atmosphere bely the sheer grossness of the overall message. Best line: “Premarital urges aren’t itches to be scratched, so look up medical oddities until those feelings pass.”
20) “Daughter Hero” Renée Elise Goldsberry gets to do a groovy ’90s ballad with Wickie in celebration of her own generosity to her mother, never mind the fact that she comes from a solidly upper-middle-class family. She buys her mom a house, a house that’s significantly less nice than the one she already has! Best line: “Daughter hero, like if Jesus had a sister!”
19) “New York City Moms” An obvious sequel to “New York Lonely Boy” (more on that below), this song brings on Ingrid Michaelson(!) to perform an ode to the women of the city who have chosen to wait to have kids. A celebration of the moms who have “bumps poking out of Eileen Fisher” and are “judged by their husband’s out-of-town sister,” the Girls5eva writers can riff endlessly on very niche New York micro-communities, and bless them for that. Best line: “Spent their 20s in a disco, still younger than moms in San Francisco.”
18) “Summer Brings the Fall” Kev’s best attempt at a torch song involves an increasingly convoluted series of attempts at wordplay that I can’t help but respect. It starts out with “thought you were for ev, thought you were for Kev, you were like whatev, now I pray to heav … for strength” and just gets more forced from there. Best line: “Thought I was your male, cause you’re my holy grail.”
17) “Is There a Me?” Season three brought Busy Philipps a short but sweet bit of soul-searching in which Summer questions if she has any identity of her own, or if her personality has just been a series of attempts to please guys. Points for Philipps showing off some vocal training, deductions for the amount of Netflix cross-marketing involved. Best line: “Do I even like The Witcher, or is it just to please a mister? And what is The Witcher? I watched 40 minutes and I’m still not sure!”
16) “Inside My Sweater” Girls5eva’s music industry gets awfully specific with its parody of a Harry Styles–type sensitive boy hounded by mobs of fans named Gray Holland, played by Gossip Girl alum Thomas Doherty (he also played a similar role on the late, lamented High Fidelity Hulu reboot). As far as sound-alikes go, this Harry–slash–Shawn Mendes low-key bob is eerily accurate but also somehow a successful earworm, especially in the way Doherty refuses to ever pronounce the “r” in “sweater.” Best line: “Come dance and cook and make sweet love with me, inside my sweater!”
15) “Welcome to Now” Doherty’s soft-boy star Gray Holland returns, against his own will, in a pop hit constructed by his label “because Clause 46B, Paragraph Q of the artist’s contract grants the company use of postmortem generative voice cloning.” It’s the funnier of the two Gray Holland songs, and the beat’s so sensual you may miss that it quickly becomes an ad for the deals available at Best Buy. Best line: “Best Buy, Best Buy, Gray Holland loves Best Buy. Tablets, projectors, and more. You’re the best, bye!”
14) “Larry’s Song” The girls get their Taylor’s Version moment with this kiss off to their former manager that references many of the show’s recurring jokes about the indignities of early aughts fame, including him promising a steak knife to whoever seduces Carson Daly. The twist by the end is that they’ve finally gotten some financial and personal control, and thus, “everything we do belongs to us.” Best line: “Only let us eat crab, cause you can’t get fat from food that’s so damn hard to get at.”
13) “At the Beep” No, you’re tearing up thinking about a fictional character who died in an infinity-pool accident. In this episode, Gloria finally gives up on her conspiracy theories about Ashley’s death and accepts that she might really be gone. (I do wonder if Ashley Park would’ve been available for a longer run in season two if Emily in Paris hadn’t gotten so big.) This results in a somber number where girls say good-bye to Ashley through her still-active (because Gloria has been paying) answering-machine service. Best line: “It should have been me.” “I did a lot of cocaine, so much cocaine.”
12) “Get It Off Your Chest” In a moment of confession and healing in season three, the women of Girls5eva share their darker secrets with each other and their audience. The result is a series of tightly written jokes from the show’s writing staff: Wickie only likes people who “like me,” “but be careful, if you like me too much, it has the opposite effect and I find you desperate,” Gloria doesn’t trust stand-up comics who are too in shape, Summer hasn’t listened to a voice-mail since 2015, and finally, Dawn delivers my favorite … Best line: “Every year when my son’s school sends out the class list with parents’ names, the first thing I do is Google them to see what they paid for their apartments.”
11) “Momentum” Starting off season two, the girls have got momentum, yeah, um, it’s their moment (bless you, Jeff Richmond) with a song that’s relatively straightforward within the Girls5eva canon but is also a solid earworm. I have to respect that groovy baseline, too. Best line: “Unstoppable, this unst-unst ain’t toppable.”
10) “Tap Into Your (Fort) Worth” A canny marketing move: The girls of 5Eva plot a way to secure a captive audience by writing a song about an American city nobody else has written a song about. The result is a clever ode to Dallas’s overlooked sister, declaring that “cow town is a wild town with a walkable downtown” and trumpeting the fact that the Trinity River is, in some places, now actually swimmable. It’s enough to make you want to consider booking a flight to DFW, maybe just as a connection, but still. Best line: “Some say Omaha Zoo is second-best, but that’s a lie because their red panda is always inside. It’s never out on the tree, yeah!”
9) “I’m Afraid (Dawn’s Song of Fears)” Sometimes you just have to let Sara Bareilles loose with a piano and sing like she’s performing “Gravity.” Here, Dawn’s attempt to write a song on her own ends with her just listing things she’s afraid of, from the fact that she might thrive under Scientology to her fear that she’ll text a pic of her vagina to her dad. There’s something very funny to me about the way Bareilles says “my hummus is fungus” and I have to own that. Best line: “I’m afraid that the second I leave town I’ll get a UTI. Why can’t they sell those pills over the counter? I don’t need a doctor, I know exactly what it is.”
8) “Yesternights” Finally, a full taste of Wickie’s solo album, a work absolutely choked by melisma and sung impeccably by Renée Elise Goldsberry. It’s, as she sings, “gorgeous and sensual” and also “life fancy,” and also “dancing, yearning.” You could probably slip it on a sex playlist and nobody would notice, and frankly, we need an eight-minute version. Best line: “But tonight, there is no night or tomorrow night / Or any future night / ’Cause you’re only in my yesternight of nights.”
7) “The Medium Time” Sara Bareilles wrote the Girls5eva’s season-three finale hit song, which is about being inspired not to aim for immense fame, but a reasonable, medium level of attention. Bareilles is so good at selling the earnest, heartfelt feeling behind the song that you may forget that the wise man who told her this advice, in the universe of the show, was actually Richard Kind. Best line: “The middle is the riddle of it all, and the medium time is just fine for now.”
6) “Dream Girlfriends” The satire of Girls5eva cuts deepest here, in this song from their original run about all the ways they’d be willing to debase themselves to appeal to men. The list includes the fact that their dads are dead, that their moms are overtired so there’ll be no pushback, that they want to watch you play darts and love watching stand-up (but not by women). “Dream Girlfriends” cuts both ways, managing to make the men it’s supposed to appeal to sound pathetic as well. The girls are short so they don’t know you’re bald! Best line: “Tell me again why Tarantino’s a genius.”
5) “Bend Not Break” Near the end of season two, the women of Girls5eva realize their best song is actually about Gloria’s knee surgery. Metaphorically, it’s really about how they have to learn to compromise and acknowledge each other’s weaknesses to support their success, but there is also literally a joke about how she uses a cane. Anyway, it’s got a groove that’s hard to shake and does really make you want to dance (carefully, in a way that doesn’t risk further knee injury). Best line: “We got our secret weapon already, and it’s got eight legs, four smiles, and a cane.”
4) “Famous 5eva” Perhaps the best theme song in the vast universe of television today, here Girls5eva embraces the joys of counting by promising they’ll be famous 5eva — ’cuz 4eva’s too short. Those synths have an addictive crunch, and there’s something about the way they describe the series of cars they’re driving in (first a Lexus, then a Mercedes and then a Maserati) that’s gleefully ridiculous. The show has to make you believe the girls really are talented, and that there’s something joyful about watching them perform. This does both. Best line: “We’re Girls5eva, could we get a high SIX?”
3) “B.P.E.” Put your hands together for a “We Are the Champions”–style celebration of big pussy energy. Girl5eva’s absurdist answer to “WAP” celebrates their “Vitamin P” with some gospel-choir-esque harmonies. And the remix, which outdoes the original, adds in some church bells to heighten the energy. It will make you tap into whatever B.P.E. you have of your own. Best line: “Square feet, I’m going for miles, upgrade, taking up the aisles, open up those classified files from the Department of Treasury.”
2) “New York Lonely Boy” The best of the Girls5eva songs in terms of straight joke-writing, “New York Lonely Boy” applies a Simon and Garfunkel sensibility to the tales of hyperarticulate soft boys who know too much about mixing plaids and the dangers of restaurants on the corner (they just try too hard). Its comedy is sort of tangential from Girls5eva’s overall focus on the music industry, but it’s so perfectly realized that it doesn’t matter. Any show that can deliver such a specific encapsulation of a type — to the extent that I now think of various former St. Anne’s students who’ve became indie celebrities (okay, just Lucas Hedges) as New York Lonely Boys — deserves to run forever. Best line: “His playground is the lobby, has a palate for wasabi.”
1) “Four Stars” If “Famous 5eva” had to establish Girls5eva as it was, then “Four Stars” has to do the work of making you believe the second iteration of the group has come into its own. It does this delightfully well, with an anthem about embracing your imperfections that includes plenty of tossed-off jokes from each of the band members. (I’m particularly fond of “women are an ocean of secrets!”) Plus there’s something great about the harmonies of everyone singing “four stars” together. I have put this on exercise playlists, and it works! Best line: “The best things in life are free, that’s why rich people never carry wallets.”
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shewrotesomething · 1 year ago
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The Day He Realized He Wanted to Marry You (Zen)
Despite his confident demeanor, Zen had plenty of insecurities about his looks. After all, years of verbal abuse won’t disappear overnight. 
No matter how many times he would tell everyone he was perfection embodied, a little snake in his head would always tell him he’s just fooling himself. That all along, his parents had been right and he was on the wrong path. 
These fears will never be voiced, especially not in front of you. 
Even on the days he would ask you, “Jagiya, isn’t your boyfriend especially beautiful today?” and you’d look at him with a delighted smile, that snake would come slithering into his head a few moments later.
There was a day, however, when that voice… Well, it wasn’t silenced completely, but at the very least, it gave him a foothold for bad days.
He still remembered that morning. It was a particularly warm day. He had rehearsals for a movie, and you were off to meet with an old classmate.
“I mean, do you really have to go?” he asked.
You were in the mirror, fixing your hair. “Hyun, it’s not a date. It’s business. He has a fiance for crying out loud!” you shouted with a chuckle.
“You can never tell until the knot is tied… and even if it is you can’t.”
You looked over to him with half a glare. “Our party is in a month and he has excellent connections. Connections that will make excellent guests.”
That was exactly why he felt uneasy about it. If he had excellent connections, he’s probably a rich businessman who’s got a way with words.
“It’s going to be an hour tops and then I’ll drop by your set. We can have dinner together.”
“Promise?”
“Absolutely,” you said, sealing the promise with a kiss on his cheek.
And so, you two went off to your own businesses. 
It was strange though. He knew it would take you more than an hour to get to the set, but he didn’t expect you to be 3 hours late. Besides, whenever you were going to be late for anything, you never failed to update him.
The director called a wrap and so he called you. You didn't answer. He called and called and called. Each time that your phone went into voicemail, he was growing more paranoid. 
What if… you enjoyed your childhood friend company too much?
All those promises he said after the incident. That he’d protect you. That you were the most important thing to him. That he wanted nothing more than to be with you. That his biggest fear would be for you to disappear… What if that was coming true today?
Stay calm. Your phone could be faulty, out of battery, you could be at home.
He was about to rush home when one of his co-star’s personal assistant’s stopped him.
“Thank goodness I caught you.”
“I’m kind of busy, what is it?” he asked, a bit too harshly.
“The hospital called us, they said your partner was in an accident, they’ve been trying to reach you but they don’t exactly know how.”
He took a cab to the hospital immediately fearing the worst. Hating himself even more to even consider that you were off having fun with someone else.
“Ah yes. There’s no need to worry. There was a collision with a biker and resulting in a dislocated kneecap but the doctors were able to fix it with no problem. The anesthesia is wearing off so go ahead.”
And he did. There you laid on the bed talking to one of the nurses. The nurse had a smile on her face.
“All I’m saying is… like… you know like fruit? Yeah… like, if fruit takes like...like... more than 2... if it takes a lot of steps for you to do the thing, what do you do?”
“You eat it?” asked the nurse.
“Yeah yeah yeah yeah. That. If it takes more than like… yeah 2 steps to get to good stuff. Not fruit… It's bad fruit.
The nurse spotted him. “I think someone is here to see you,” she walked towards him. “Just a heads up. Anesthesia has a way of making people a bit too honest,” she warned before leaving.
“Thank goodness you're okay,” he told you with a sigh of relief.
Your eyes squinted to look at him. Your hands stretched out your hands and he held out his own, but you swept them away. Instead, you gestured for his face to come closer. 
Zen knelt down to do as you wished. With both hands cupping his face, your eyes lit up in recognition. “Ah… I know you.” 
He chuckled. “I certainly hope you do.”
You nodded to yourself. Pleased. “Uh-huh, you’re my beautiful boyfriend. My beautiful boyfriend is here.”
His heart melted at that. “I’m here.” Placing his hand over your own, he found the absence of a ring an issue to be remedied. 
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witchhatproductions · 10 months ago
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Witch Hat News #5 - In Sickness and in Health
by Tata Calthrop
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This is an archived version of our microfiction newsletter! You can read along on our tumblr, or subscribe here.
Hey there! It's been a few months since you last heard from us, hasn't it? How have you been? I'll go first: I've been bad! Let's talk about creativity and mental health.
I don't speak much about my mental health publicly, but let me summarise it for you; I was a very happy teenager who plummeted into clinical depression at about age nineteen and never fully recovered, and it sucks.
That said, the consequence of this is that I've been in therapy for years and read dozens of books about psychology for both patients and professionals, so even if I'm depressed, I'm also wise as all hell.
(I suspect if I weren't depressed, I would probably be completely zen.)
I have an excellent relationship with my creative craft, and my evidence for this is that I am both alive and still actively creating things. A lot of people never learn to manage the balance.
Many of the artists and writers I meet are weighed down heavily by the burden of not being good enough. "I'm an artist, but I get so anxious that I only draw once every few months, and then usually throw it away," my friends will tell me, ashamed. "I'm not good at it."
"I'm not really a writer," say the people I meet on discord. "I have this idea for a story that I've had for years, and I've written down some small things, but not anything I can show anyone – I'm not good enough yet."
On the other end of the scale are the creatives who push themselves through constant burnout, who neglect eating and sleeping in order to create as fast and voraciously as possible. A "successful career" may be built on five hours of sleep a day and constant, haunting guilt about keeping up engagement and output.
I think it's very easy to hide in hard work. You can have terrible self-care and self-awareness and be falling apart in every area, but if you work hard, and succeed, you never need to feel guilty about the other stuff. 
You know who can create constantly, yet never get tired? Artists and writers who can spend hours every day effortlessly making things, while also being entirely present in their own lives? Children.
Human beings are born with the constant urge to be creative. It's pretty well-studied that imaginative play and brain development are directly linked in small children. It's in their nature to engage in make-believe.
Very few four-year-olds freeze in front of a blank piece of paper, because they know how terrible it feels to be bad at drawing and don't know where to begin with the idea they had without failing utterly. That's a particular madness we learn as we grow up.
I'm biased, but I firmly believe that playfulness is what makes us human. What we describe as "intelligence" in other animals is often correlated with their adaptability – their ability to conceptualise and understand things they've never experienced before, and maybe didn't even know were possible.
This, too, correlates with playfulness. Dolphins, crows, octopuses, and great apes – all very different animals – play games. Despite all having taken wildly different evolutionary paths to get there, they have all separately developed play.
To be human is to create. To imagine is to be human. So that's my way of not worrying about my creative output – whether I'm making enough, whether I'm good enough. I do not create art in order to sell it, or to gain praise for making it, although I would welcome it if either of those things started happening to me regularly.
My art does not need to be good, or valuable. It has the same value and function as the paintings I made at preschool when I was four; it is the byproduct of my humanity.
Let go of the idea of being a "good artist". Nobody is a good artist. The only thing any of us is really good at is being human, which tends to get in the way of the other stuff.
"How do I create more, without letting anxiety or laziness get in the way?"
I'm here again, writing my newsletter. How long until another mental health break knocks me flat again, I don't know. But right now, I feel motivated to put words to paper (or words to mailing list, as it were), and I'm going to follow that feeling until it's gone.
My advice to you is to do the same. Joy is a very precious gift; to enjoy creating something is divine. You are human, and that is enough. Put aside your doubts. Create ambitiously, stupidly, passionately, in any way you can, as long as you're having fun; and once you learn to have fun, the trick of learning how to create more and better is a very simple one. 
So, here: Three things that spoke to me about the subject of mental illness, death, and the arts. Let's drink to our good health, eh?
Recommendations
So Sad Today: Personal Essays by Melissa Broder. A series of devastating essays about illness, addiction, dysfunction, and brutal, intimate, visceral emotion. I have few words for this one. I found it indescribably powerful.
Sawbones have an excellent episode about personal mental health stories. This one's much easier to listen to, but it's still quite personal, as these things tend to be. It spoke to me as someone who, at the time, kept a lot of my issues completely secret.  
To The Moon by Freedbird Games: At the dying wish of a old man, two scientists must navigate and rewrite his memories of life. A short, funny video game, with very charming characters and hilarious jokes and – genuinely – one of the most sad and beautiful character dramas I've ever experienced in video game form. 
Your project here. Do you make art of any kind - visual, written, performed? Are you starting a project or recruiting co-creators? We want to hear from you! Email us at [email protected].
That's it from me. I'll see you on the flip side, however far away that is. I'm not giving up! And neither should you!
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theflyingfeeling · 8 months ago
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well said, Niko 👏
so I went to exit my emotions in Germany last weekend, details below:
we went to the shows in Berlin & Leipzig, with a VIP experience for the latter
and guyyyyyyyyssss let me tell you, BC really did not lie when they said we were there to Exit our Emotions 😩 the shows went straight to the very top of my personal BC shows list, the energy was amazing and all the new songs sounded incredible live, even the ones that weren't necessarily my #1 favourites, like Where's the Exit and Wolves in California. Especially the former sounds sooooooooooooooo good live 💖
and because I was there mainly to enjoy myself and to exit the fuck out of my stupid useless emotions, I barely took any videos or pictures (I never take pictures anyway, how do y'all manage to take such amazing shots at shows?!) despite having relatively good spots to do so. I kinda wish I had more so I could think back to the shows afterwards, but on the other hand I felt like I got way more out of the show when I put my undivided focus on it, and besides indoor shows are always challenging on that regard due to the flashing lights etc. and I felt like every time I was going to film the lighting was not appropriate so in the end I just couldn't bother 😅
I don't really have much else to report from Berlin other than that the venue was great, I had an excellent view and had the best time ever 🥰
not least because I met so many BC tumblr friends!! it was so nice seeing everyone, please come to the Nokia Arena show y'all, we'll be your host it's hocus pocus 🥺
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and then there was Leipzig 🥴
I mean, this is my initial reaction immediately after it (written in my drafts):
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🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
but yeah, as you can see from this post, @exitemotions and I had bought some silly little gifts to give the guys (rock hand glass markers not pictured), and we were so incredibly chill about the whole thing, like, NO ONE has ever been as chill as we were in advance of the VIP experience, I'm tellin' ya 💅
(we were so chill in fact that when we came back to the hotel room afterwards, we noticed we had forgotten the ceiling light on. you know, because that's how chill and zen and calm we had been upon leaving for the venue 💅💅💅💅💅)
the acoustic set was fucking cute, almost like a little campfire hangout 🥺
about giving the gifts and having our pictures taken: I feel like I was working on some kind of autopilot and can barely remember much anything 🙃 which I'm kinda mad at myself about lol, but I guess the guys liked the gifts (Olli said the glass markers were important, as my foreword for them was that they'd no longer have to fight about which glass/cup was whose, and I remember Tommi saying that socks are always useful. the others are owners of feet as well, so I suppose they agree 🧦)
we had made all sorts of grand plans for our individual pictures with the band but ended up with having "regular" ones after all, because while there was no feeling of rush per se at the m&g, everything was still happening relatively fast and sort of in their own course, and if we had wanted to do any funny poses or whatever, we should've been faster and in a little...sharper mental state to ask for them 😂😭
but we were chill though, I promise 💅
(I'm just cringing at myself so hard because I look like a fucking teacher standing for a class photograph 😂💀 it's funnier if you know I'm actually a teacher lol)
during the show we were on 2-3 row because we kinda missed our cue to run and reserve our spots before the acoustic set. personally I blame Santeri the tour manager for this (and also the fact that there were so many people there who had already been to VIP on this tour before, so they knew what to do 🤷‍♀️ meanwhile we were just left standing like "...wat 🧍‍♂️")
the show was just as great as the Berlin one, I honestly can't put them in order because they were both amazing and really made me forget about my sad little life 🖤
Rock Band From Hell was also alright. the one with no shirt on was hot
Ghost Kid was cool too. the one with no shirt on was hot
...so hot in fact that I already fell in love with him at the Berlin gig, and so when we were on our way to the merch booth after the Leipzig show, we ran into him and I flirted chatted with him a bit and had my picture taken with him 🥰 he was soooooo sweet and funny and I hope he'll stay true to his promise and keep the thing I said to him ('the drummer of BC could never [swirl the drumstick in his fingers in between every beat like you do]') "just between you and me" 🤭
from the merch booth I bought the XOXO longsleeve which looks super nice (sadly the quality isn't as super though dfgdgdsdh)
the next day it was time to return home, and as @kraeuterhexchen was seeing me to my platform at the railway station, I broke into tears in the middle of an escalator and didn't stop crying until boarding my plane lol
it's just that I was really nervous about travelling back to the airport from Leipzig because I had two changes of trains and the horror stories I've heard of Deutsche Bahn always being late were only adding to it, and that stress somehow triggered some sort of emotional meltdown in me and I realised the trip that I had been waiting for 6 MONTHS was now ending?? there had been so much talk about how we'd "do this and that when we go to Berlin/Leipzig and see BC" and now it's all done and gone and ?????? how does one move on after that 😭
but mostly I've been crying about the gift I gave to Olli 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
some of you have already heard about this, but I had made Olli this pin cushion ring:
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...because I wanted to "support his sewing hobby", as I told him then sdhfhdfhfhfh
he seemed to really appreciate it, and as I demonstrated how handy it was (because you can wear it and easily put the pins there while sewing instead of having to reach to a pin cushion further away on the table), he told me he only had this huge pin cushion ("a brick" he called it, the one you can see on this video), and aaaahhhhh I'M SO ANGRY AT MYSELF for not remembering much else or barely daring to even look at him to see his reaction 😭 I do remember he got very excited when he heard he was getting a sewing-related gift though ("yessss" he said, if my memory doesn't fail me too bad) 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
and I'm so sad I didn't even get a picture of him with it, because Joona the photographer was in the possession of my phone at that moment 😔 and I also forgot to tell him I had made it myself, though I believe it's self-evident. but, you know. still 😭
and the reason why I've been so emotional about it is because I had made the ring weeks ago already, shortly after the album release event, and since then I have admired it every day (because hellooooo is it not the cutest?!) and I had imagined all the scenarios in which I'd give it to him, what I'd say about it and how he'd react to it (I wondered if he'd even know what it was, but of course he immediately recognized it as a pin cushion when I showed it to him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭), and yesterday it just suddenly hit me that when I'd be back home, the ring would no longer be there on my table for me to admire and hold in my hands, because Olli has it now? it's OLLI'S now, as intented, and yeah idk why but even now, two days later, I'm still literally crying about it as I'm writing this because I had grown strangely attached to that silly trinket and now I'll probably never see it again 🥺😭 (I guess I should just make one for myself too lol, my old one that I made almost 17 years ago is a wee bit shabby)
anyway, if anyone sees him, can you please tell him to take good care of it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
the world's biggest thanks to everyone who I hung out with on this trip, but especially to @kraeuterhexchen whose stunning art I can now admire in calendar form on my kitchen wall every month of the year (yes I shall keep you updated):
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...and to @another-sun the organizer extraordinaire, as well as to my travelling companion @exitemotions (thanks for all the laughs with a touch of chaos in between <3)
here's me with BC again, the only other picture that's not blurry af lol
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in conclusion, 🎵 never again, never again 🎵
...until next time 👀
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melhive · 2 years ago
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Oh, the Sawamura siblings. Better than anyone, they have trained Daichi to become a great captain and to just zen-mode in order to enjoy his food.
Daichi's notes on the four:
• Ayame (彩芽) is barely a year younger than Daichi and she seems to have been born with all the emotional perception he lacks, having always been his crutch to "undense", as she says. She got very comfortable on the middle sibling role and to an unknown can appear to be lazy and distant, repeating "not my problem" and minding her own business, usually accidentally napping where she shouldn't. She is actually the most perceptive of the five, even if she uses her powers to bribe and blackmail the others into doing her chores ("oh, mom wouldn't like to know you got into another fight, Fuu", "Dai will be so upset if he discovers your cats destroyed his socks, Nao", "DAIKI WHERE IS MY BAGPACK", "Ok, I'll make your bento today, Dai, but you'll make my bento for the entire next week, take it or starve") and to make snarky comments on the others. As amazingly as it might sound, Ayame is an excellent listener and at the cost of some favour she can even give incredibly touching insights to anyone's problems. She usually calls Daichi "Dai", or "Daichi" when it follows a disappointed note, or "Dainii" when she's using her most sarcastic superiority jokes. Though she rarely oversteps on those, Daichi is sure she does it more for the humour than to hurt anyone. She used to be in the pingpong club during Junior school and Daichi remembers she was really good at it. She changed into being part of her student's council when she entered high school, where she could sharpen even more her entrepreneur skills, never loosing an opportunity to make a good business out of anything. Probably better than any of the youngers, Daichi knows how hard working she is, choosing a competitive school, very driven by all that ambitious Sawamura soul inside of her, and even if she tries to deny it he knows she also does it to help their family and friends out. As a fact that she started to learn how taxes work right at the start of her high school to help their mother business, which both scares the hell out of him and makes him swell with pride. That being said, never let Ayame in possession of any of your secrets or you'll end up being her slave forever.
• Daiki (大輝) is the elder twin, even if everyone thinks he's the younger giving his very cheerful nature. He loves being the centre of attention and in general can be perceived as, well, a bit too much. Perfectly dramatic for the drama club he's part of since forever, with an incredible capacity to never shut up no matter how early or late, his theatre years helped him to develop a very charismatic and joyous personality, sweet words that lets him get away with almost anything, if you're not his family. Because at home everyone knows better than to fall for the smiles that try to cover his little sense of consequences. Daichi knows he's a good kid and is proud of him, even if he has to listen to him talking about all the newest school gossip. He might have given up to remember al his friends names because Daiki seems to know everyone and their mothers on his school, though opposite of Ayame, he just likes to know and passing the information forward. Daiki usually calls Daichi as just "Dai", and Daichi narrows his eyes when is called "Dainii" as it proceeds a headache. Typical human hurricane, usually gets in trouble for being impulsive and always ends up getting into bickering, specially with Ayame who has the most energy to spat back. Daichi learned to just zone out and let him talk, only bothering to do the older brother voice when he discovers Daiki overstepped himself (again). Too distractive, he can't be trusted around fire and knives, so he ends up having more laundry and cleaning chores to compensate his inability to contribute to everyone's bento. At the end of the day he just wants to connect to people, crack some funny jokes and entertain everyone. And 1k likes on his videos.
• Naoki (直樹) is the younger twin and the complete opposite of Daiki. Daichi actually thinks Naoki stands out for being very opposite of everyone in the house. Poor Naoki craves time alone and a bit of silence, doesn't have the Sawamura brand stamina, is very bad at being awake before lunch, stresses far to easily (to Daichi's worry) and actually finds joy in the slowness. Daichi thinks Naoki has the soul of those old Edo poets that spent the day admiring gardens and writing haikus about flowers. Even Daichi knows that's partially from having to be constantly besides his sun-storm twin, not finding the space to put his thoughts out and introspecting everything. Ayame keeps reminding him to spend some time alone with Naoki so he can feel cared about, she also does it but apparently the quiet Sawamura has Daichi as a role figure. The only sibling who calls him "Dainii" without second intentions, Naoki is the main reason why Daichi knows so much about fish. When younger used to read a lot about the ocean and constantly asked to go to the aquarium. Because of the intense contrast between him and the other four, people mistakenly assume Naoki is shy and helpless, and if Daichi knows something about him is that he's neither of those. The Sawamura in him hardly needs any protection, usually not caring for provocations nor being intimidated by brutality, Naoki has a low social battery but also has good friends. Is capable of mastering any skills his curious mind gets interest for, specially things that take their time and dedication like cooking or tea brewing. He can, nevertheless, get easily overwhelmed by time sensitive things and stresses when things go out of his control. He used to be part of the nap club on the school he attends with his twin, but lately he has decided to sacrifice his energy for the cooking activities, which Daichi selfishly always volunteer to try out his efforts. Needless to say that's a sibling competition and none of them hold back on compliments for the chef.
• Fuyumi (不由美) is Daichi's incognita. If Daiki is a sun storm, Fuyumi is a supernova. If Naoki has Daichi as his model, Fuyumi seems to have made Daichi her nemesis and he can't figure why or how. She just seems to be contrary to anything he does or try to do to get closer to her. Once he tried to give her all those colourful hair things her classmates all wear and he remembers Ayame also used to love, but Fuyumi just hated them and Daichi can't figure what he has done wrong. The youngest Sawamura is like a wild cat, a bakeneko herself. She has all those cute new clothes but she prefers to wear the twin's old rags, refuse to let her hair to be controlled by elastics, is in constant need of band-aids, seems to enjoy being called "little monster" by Daiki (which lets Daichi exasperated, why would she like that??) and is rarely found clean or not stinking something ominous. How can a child be so intensely against any sort of domestication? The provocations seems to be very directed at Daichi. She is actually capable of socialize (in a way too aggressive manner to Daichi's taste) and live with the other siblings, but the moment Daichi tries anything it's like a bomb explodes. Ayame says it's because Daichi has a dense and authoritative aura and that frustrates Daichi even more, neither of those are things he can turn on and off, he just is like that! The youngest has even managed to make their sibling dinner time silent for an entire awkward minute by announcing she thinks volleyball is stupid. Daichi buried his face on his hands, Naoki covered his mouth in exasperation, Daiki got miraculously wordless, Ayame simply raised an eyebrow but neither couldn't find words to fill the silence. Fuyumi looked self satisfied. She isn't a complete lost case, even tough the others have to remind him more than the other way around. Fuyumi helps taking very good care of Naoki's cats and even Kintaro. She doesn't neglect her house chores and doesn't let anyone take easy on her either, unless she is tasked to do anything near Daichi, a lesson they all already learned to avoid. She gets constant complaints from school about her aggressive behaviour, yes, but her fights are always good intended and coming from a very well adjusted moral compass considering her age. She learned all the low words reading Daiki's manga and isn't shy at all to use her arsenal of cocky offenses, but where her words fail, her actions always proves she's willing to help everyone and not let any unfairness pass by her. Unless it's Daichi related, that is. He has a feeling Fuyumi is going to grow into those unadjusted sukeban punks and fears for his life (his worries are very correct).
Twitter post
More on the siblings OCs: Sawamuras introduction Sawamuras comic Fuuyumi hates volleyball but does she?
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bunbeeplays · 5 months ago
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The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 118 - Not So Zen
We're back at Sparadise, a location we haven't seen in quite some time, for a family friendly yoga session.
Wiki is very excited to see her old clients. One of them is a four-star celebrity now too! She's definitely going to promote that on her professional Simstagram page.
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Gemma is very excited to see her uncle Moses and pibling Drew!
Gemma: Pibs, pibs!
Drew: I heard ya the first time, kid, come here. Oof, you're getting so big!
Gemma does yoga with her mommy and daddy at home sometimes but she's excited to take a class with Drew and Moses too!
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Moses: I can't believe it's been so long. Our last session was before you and Xander were even engaged!
Ophelia: Life gets in the way sometimes. You'll know all about that pretty soon. I can't believe you and Ian are gonna be dads!
Moses: How do you think I feel?
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Moses: Just a few more days until we can finally bring her home. You think my dad beard will be ready by then?
Ophelia: I think it took Xander a little longer than a couple of days.
Moses: Ian works with gym bros, maybe they have some hair growth supplements I can take.
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Ophelia: Moses, facial hair isn't going to make you a better parent. You're going to do great, and you've got a big support system if you need help. Just focus on enjoying your family leave, and your little girl.
Her fake dad will be a real dad in a few days. How exciting!
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Gemma: Uncle Moses is gonna have a baby! His belly's gonna get REAL big and a baby'll pop out!
Drew: I don't think that's happening, Gem.
Gemma: Oh, then Uncle Ian's gonna have the baby!
He technically could, but trans reproductive health is a discussion for another day.
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Xander's busy getting Lulu settled in, who thanks him for his hard work by blowing a kiss. She's never done that before!
Ophelia: That'll be you and your little girl soon.
Moses: Don't you dare make me cry before yoga, Lemon.
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While the two hug, Drew sighs.
Drew: Getting married, having kids? They're getting old on me. Good thing I'll never be old, right, squirt?
Gemma: Yeah! You're only like 50.
Drew: Gee, thanks.
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Everybody (including Some Guy) get onto their mats and ready for the class to start. Lulu's really enjoying the calm music that's playing. Gemma just loves any excuse she can get to move around.
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The gang has gotten pretty good at yoga! Not experts by any means, but good form all around. Gemma's killing it the most, though.
Gemma: You takin' a nap, Momma?
Ophelia's about to explain what corpse's pose is when she hears the flicker of a camera. Our old friend is back!
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Ophelia has had it!
Ophelia: Are you seriously taking photos of my children? I keep them off social media for a reason!
Willy: Yeah, that's why getting pics of them is a good scoop!
Ophelia: Delete those photos now!
Willy: Or else what? You're in public, you can't stop me!
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Something in Ophelia snaps.
Ophelia: Leave my children alone, you creep!
Before she knows it, she starts swinging at Willy Weiner, paparazzi scum. She's getting into her very first fight!
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Gemma picked an excellent time to go toddle off to use the potty. Nothing to see here, kiddo!
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Xander: Can you tell what's going on?
Moses: They pop out every once in a while but it's hard to make heads or tails of it.
Xander: I just need to figure out if he's winning so I can know if I'm getting in my first fight today too.
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Ophelia and Willy pop up for a moment to slap each other.
Ophelia: Look at him, everyone, he's hitting a woman! What a pig!
Willy: You literally started this!
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Ophelia, level 10 fitness queen, rocks Willy's shit.
Ophelia: If you know what's good for you, stay away from my family! The Watcher's deleted Sims for getting in the way of a screenshot, don't think they won't delete you!
She can't stand weaselly little rascals like him!
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They continue to watch Ophelia berate this dirtbag.
Xander: Is it weird that I'm finding all of this hot?
Moses: It's weird that you're telling me you do.
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Willy slinks off in shame. I don't think we'll be seeing him anytime soon.
Ophelia may be stinky but she's feeling victorious!
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Drew: Way to wreck that guy, O! I never knew you had such a mean hook!
Ophelia: I don't know what came over me.
Drew: Those mama bear instincts kicked in, that's what!
Luckily, Gemma spent most of the fight in the bathroom and Lulu somehow slept through it.
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Xander approaches and she thinks he'll be upset she put herself in danger like that.
Ophelia: Xander, I'm sorry, I-
Xander kisses her deeply. It's hard to keep things passionate with two little kids sometimes but the adrenaline was definitely doing something for them both.
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Xander: Can you guys watch the girls? We have to go… hit the showers.
Moses: I have a feeling you're going to do whatever it is you're going to do no matter what I say. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're both too horned up to even be listening to me.
Ophelia: Great, thanks.
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Hey, Ophelia needs a shower anyway. Might as well multitask!
No, they don't make any babies in the shower, although that would be pretty on-brand for them. These two love conceiving children anyplace but their own home.
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The rest of the day is pretty normal, at least for them.
Gemma: Mommy, Daddy, Lulu's stinky!
Xander looks like he caught a whiff before he had to be told, but thanks for looking out, Gemma.
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Ophelia: You're on diaper duty today, babe.
Xander: Why me?
Ophelia: Remember in the shower… I did that thing you like me to do. Y'know, the thing I usually only do on special occasions. You owe me.
Xander: You make a compelling case. You really were raised by lawyers, huh?
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Xander: Alright, come here, stinkbug.
Ophelia doesn't consider herself a violent person, but she doesn't regret her actions today for a second. She'll protect her precious little family with everything she's got, even if it means breaking some pap's nose.
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acradelius · 2 years ago
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Uhm, hey!
Sorry if this place is not the right place to drop requests, but oh well, here we go...
Could you do some NSFW Zenyatta with the Sunyatta skin x male reader (preferably, if you vam) with Zen being dominant hehe. I'm really intrigued to see how you would write him, Sunyatta is just hnnngh- sooo good! Some smut with Zen's best friend would be much appreciated! ;)
PS. I have a massive crush on Sunyatta's claws a-and I'd love for you to include them, anyhow you want! <3
"I AM YOUR GOD"
Fandom: Overwatch / Overwatch 2
Pairing: "Sunyatta" (Tekhartha Zenyatta) x M!Reader
Rating: Lemon [🟡] (NSFW!)
Warnings/Mention Ofs: College Student! Reader, Human x Omnic Relations, Religious Aspects/Themes, Worshipping, Praise, Implied Manipulation, Obsessive Themes, Submissive Male Reader, Dominant Zenyatta, Slight Oral Fixation, Omnic Receiving! Blowjob, Robotic Cock Attachment, Claws, Scratching, Causing Wounds, Bleeding, Profanities, Orgasm, "Open"/Closed Ending
Word Count: 1,764 Words
Author's Note: robo dick robo dick robo dick
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 There was something about studying abroad from the country you’ve spent your whole life growing up and living in, that was definitely something that (Y/N) could agree with. There was something about being able to wander throughout the bustling streets of Cairo, Egypt, taking the miraculous sights of the cultural events happening throughout the town, tasting the amazing exotic food that trying to describe the taste was just so difficult from how good it tasted. There was just something about going out to those night activities with some buddies from the university and leaving Cairo, sneaking into some ancient ruins of Giza Plateau, which started to make (Y/N) feel somewhat anxious about getting caught, and ending up awakening an ancient god from his slumber. Yet, there weren't any feelings of fearfulness, no feelings of ongoing dread despite the unknown words that proceeded to echo off the walls of the ruin and that booming, threatening tone of voice. If anything there was that feeling of inquisitiveness, that yearning desire to figure out who exactly this devine god was and what exactly he was capable of. 
What exactly had happened after that was uncertain to any of the trespassing members there, only brief moments that they could remember that wasn’t much to explain or too conflicting to process what exactly had happened. Yet, there was a certain amount of things that (Y/N) knew every time he would sneak out from Cairo back to those ancient ruins of the Giza Plateau to visit the god over and over again. 
Being able to worship him was such an honor. 
Being acknowledged by him was such an honor. 
Sunyatta reciprocating (Y/N)’s romantic feelings was such an honor. 
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It was becoming more and more difficult to maintain healthy boundaries with Sunyatta, seeing that everything else around (Y/N) was seemingly falling apart. He was struggling with his studies, finding himself missing more and more classes, failing more and more exams to the point he was on the verge of failing and being evicted from his classes. (Y/N) was struggling to maintain relationships with other people, including his own family, coming up with various excuses as to why he couldn’t socialize with them. Overall, he was neglecting his responsibilities, besides what had been ingrained into his mind as the most important one: to return to Sunyatta and worship him with everything he had. It had merely begun as something that had taken place every couple of weeks, but over time and spending more time with Sunyatta became more frequent in time, at this point it had been that (Y/N) was sneaking out almost every night to see him, spending countless hours with him. Tonight, happened to once again be one of those nights, Sunyatta having promised him a reward for his excellent dedication and loyalty. 
It doesn’t take that long for him to reach their usual meeting place, (Y/N)’s arms full of various objects to offer to Sunyatta, but had stopped within his tracks upon hearing him begin to speak. “You’re such an exquisite, loyal follower (Y/N),” Sunyatta began to address as he began to enclose the distance between them, not bothering to even glance at the items that were being carried, picking them up precisely with his serrated claws and merely tossing them aside until (Y/N)’s arms were empty. “You bring me various items, various items that you have believed to bring me delight, which they were in the beginning,” (Y/N)’s attention had been focused on watching the claws disperse them items onto the ground before glancing up at Sunyatta as he spoke, but was focused back onto the claws as they seemingly twirled and danced within his vision before one had started to prod at his lips, which he unconsciously opened his mouth slightly for them to enter into his mouth. “There’s only so many materialistic items that can be offered to someone such as myself to keep oneself appeased.” There’s a slight hesitation from (Y/N), almost stepping away from Sunyatta. Did his gifts not happen to be good enough for the god? Was there something more that he could offer to keep Sunyatta appeased? Multiple times (Y/N)’s mouth parted open to say something, but instead he was interrupted by Sunyatta speaking once again, “You’re next offering, I want it to be your body. Your physical pleasure~”
There’s an unaccounted time that passes that brings (Y/N) to this moment, being down upon his knees in front of the god, proceeding to softly whine as he gripped at Sunyatta’s loin cloth, beginning to be used for Sunyatta’s own pleasure. “You must be patient, as you need to be prepped for what is bound to come~ For the time being, you need to enjoy the show~” Sunyatta simply ignores whatever response (Y/N) might have gave, if he happened to give any response at all, and proceeds to begin by trailing his claws across (Y/N)’s flesh, watching as he would momentarily flinch as Sunyatta would press his claws deeper into (Y/N)’s flesh to leave scratches, sometimes deep enough to where blood would start spotting from said scratches. Then begins the removal of (Y/N)’s clothes, but not in any old-fashioned way, oh no~ Sunyatta does as he stated, taking his time and “removes” the clothing by simply shredding them to pieces, watching as with each more piece of clothing there’s of (Y/N)’s bare skin being revealed, more bare, unmarked skin for his beloved god to mark up. Scratch after scratch after scratch~ 
“Sunyatta,” There he was upon his knees beneath the one that he could only focus on at the moment, visibly trembling underneath the claws, bucking his hips against the air as if that would relieve some friction to his hardening, throbbing cock. “Open your mouth widely, it’s time to prepare yourself for the next phase of our delightful worship session~” (Y/N) wasn’t one to complain, as he could only imagine the pleasure to come. He was sure that if he obeyed and did what he was told to do, that he would be rewarded greatly. Opening his mouth widely he had stuck out his tongue, allowing there to be more room, and proceeded to take two claw tips into his mouth, treading with caution to explore them with his tongue. Being met with praise he let out a muffled groan, one of his hands once again tugging at Sunyatta’s loincloth all while the other one was trailing down to his own cock, beginning to slowly stroke the length. Continuing to address the claws within his mouth, not minding the faint taste of iron from having nicked his tongue. Upon the removal of the claws there’s a disappointed groan before it turned into a muffled noise of surprise as he felt something foreign enter his mouth, the texture being warm, but having a silicone based exterior. Upon opening his eyes he’s met with Sunyatta’s loincloth having been pushed to the side, realizing that apparently his beloved had his own cock, and he was being blessed with having the opportunity to pleasure Sunyatta’s cock with his mouth. Upon resting his hands upon Sunyatta’s thighs (Y/N) can feel the faint vibrations, a slight mechanical noise as the cock within his mouth begins to not only vibrate, but also rotate as well. (Y/N) figures that Sunyatta’s getting close to an orgasm, seeing the way that one of his hands was placed firmly on (Y/N)’s head, helping him take the length of his cock down his throat. 
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It becomes difficult to focus upon anything with all the vibrating and rotating features of Sunyatta’s cock being activated within (Y/N)’s ass, causing him to clench tightly and have the tip of Sunyatta’s cock rub roughly against his prostate, causing him to cry out. He can’t help but absolutely love the way that Sunyatta is handling him, ass up in the air while his face is rubbing harshly against the ground, Sunyatta having one of (Y/N)’s arms pulled back while the other one rests on (Y/N)’s back, slowly etching scratches into his back that spell out his name. “You’ve come to realize that this is your future, yes?” Sunyatta hums, leaning down to whisper the words into (Y/N)’s ear, chuckling afterwards at watching the drool leak out of the corner of (Y/N)’s mouth and onto the ground, him not being able to speak a complete, understandable sentence without letting those sultry moans and pleas echo out into the open. “Your future is here with me, (Y/N)!~ You will serve me, treat me as your master!~ You will worship me, worship the very ground I walk upon!~” 
Sunyatta, beginning to lose his calm and collected pace and speed, began to thrust his hips quickly and disorganized, occasionally slamming his hips against (Y/N)’s ass to stretch him out, merely addressing it as preparation for future physical worshiping sessions. Leaning forward Sunyatta released the hold upon (Y/N)’s arm, using it to reach around and wrap around his neck, pulling his head back. “Maintain eye contact with me as we cum together, alright, (Y/N)~” Another whine, another string of saliva spilling from (Y/N)’s lips and onto the ground below, trying to maintain eye contact but finding it difficult to do so. Profanities echo throughout the air, a casual “F-Fuck, your cock feels so good!~ T-Too good!!~” followed by Sunyatta’s “Continue taking me cock, show me how much you actually love worshiping me!~” That pleasurable, twisting gut feeling becomes almost too much, even despite the pain of Sunyatta digging his claws deeply into (Y/N)’s skin, trails of blood being smeared across his skin, partially staining it a light red. “Cum, cum with me, (Y/N)!~ Cum with your god!~” It’s almost instantaneously that (Y/N)’s body begins to violently tremble underneath Sunyatta, crying out as he rides out his orgasm by weakly riding it out against Sunyatta’s cock that still had yet to cease its vibrations and rotation. Sunyatta’s hot, hot to the touch that is, but that doesn’t prevent him from beginning to thrust his hips against (Y/N) once again, chuckling softly. “I am your god, (Y/N)~ No one else can make you feel this way~ Don’t you ever forget that~”
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