#zelja

[lifeinbooks]

[ti-i-ja-mozda-nekada]

ŽELJA DA SVE BUDE POSEBNO I DRUGAČIJE

Day 5: Kako vrijeme prolazi, shvataš da želiš od ovoga svega nešto više i nešto posebno - za života. Ne želiš da to bude priča koja je bila kao dosad, nego nešto prelijepo, iskreno i sa puno osjećanja i tome težiš i tome se nadaš, mada strahuješ da ti to ne zeliš, da nije obostrano, ali preuzimaš rizik i daješ sebe.

[prava-ja]

A želja si moja... Bio i ostao... Jedina od zelja koja se nikada neće ispuniti....

[s-tobom-dotako-nebo-bih]

ipak, neću ti direktno reći

shvatit ćeš sama

u tuđem zagrljaju

ti neće med i mleko teči

ne pomaže niko treći

da bi brže zaboravila

kako si se osećala

pusti šuplje priče

znam kako je

zaglave se osećaji

pa ni gore, ni dole

ti njemu kroz oči progledaš

kad nije tu

izgovorima ga okitiš

on ne treba ni da smišlja laži

jer šta bi od žene ostalo

kad bi stalno cela ostajala?

žena k'o žena - glavom kroz zid

razum ušuti

trenutak joj je bitan

k'o večnost ga pamti

gura na glas, pa dokle ide

onda se u tišinama sastavlja

demoni joj po mislima vladaju

ti svetu nekim čudom prikažeš anđele

jaka si, ludo

al' pazi, iznemognu i takve poput tebe

ne moraš sve sama

jednom kad ti mozak oči razbistri

uočit ćeš

neću te lagati

on je tebi samo placebo

čini ti se da si voljena

samo zato što se ponekad smiluje

pa ostane

ne gledaš između redova

zažmiriš

nećeš ni sebi da priznaš

da nije on taj

uporno verovanje žene u nešto

dok se zbog istog guši

gušni fenomen

-

radije

ako si spremna

dođi da delimo život

ispod ovog neba

umem da volim

na široke staze

u tuđim rukama

ionako nema ništa tvoje

[insidethebeaststillgrows]

⠀⠀𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙨.

Зеля Новаков ⠀ : ⠀ 𝗭𝗘𝗟𝗝𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗞𝗢𝗪 ⠀⠀──⠀

a superbly trained Hitman agent who also runs the former mèdellin-cartel, mentally unstable and a moon child. She is one of the organization's youngest and greatest hitmen, right after her handsome boyfriend, who is also her partner in their joint assignments. After her traumatic past, she devoted her youth entirely to her work as a drug dealer and was eventually appointed head of the medèllin cartel. Zelja is a dark and twisted person and would kill for the people she loves. She is described as the ,dangerous babyface‘ because she keeps a pure heart with innocent looks and a dark mind. When you get to know her better, you discover the psychopathic thoughts locked in her head. On one hand she seems like a cute person, but on the other one you better not mess with her. A lot of blood stains her hands and she'll never regret that, rather she enjoys it. The young woman describes herself as emotionally disturbed, but for the ones she loves, she would go through hell. She's really in love with the three lovely dogs that she have with her boyfriend named sparky, hannibal and ivy and her new black kitten named milky, dark thoughts and blood.

❪⠀⠀⠀ excellent hitman & head of the former mèdellin-cartel which works with her best friend sinaloa cartel, is a dark and twisted person & a deep loving moonchild.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀note: ⠀own character, fandomless & semi-active, englisch and german is both good but pls dni if you're a minor, fsk 21+, general trigger warning for mature and bloody content, only in-character talk and pls don't be a drama queen, i’m so done with this shit, thanks⠀⠀⠀❫

[dijetemjeseca]

6/9/2024 📖

"Moramo li zaista razumijeti svijet i sve njegove obrasce? U svemu možete pronaći smisao, ako dovoljno uporno tražite, i ako želite vjerovati da se sve događa s razlogom. Ali kad bismo sve u potpunosti razumjeli, kad bi svaki događaj imao smisla, nitko ne bi učio ni rastao. Naši dani bili bi ugodni, ali dosadni. Možda zato samo trebamo prihvatiti da će mnogi aspekti života - i ljudi koje volimo - zauvijek ostati misterij. Jer bez misterija nema magije. I umjesto da se stalno pitamo zašto smo tu, možda bismo trebali uživati u jednostavnijoj istini: tu smo."

- Mikki Brammer, Knjiga neispunjenih želja: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[lifeinbooks]

Treba mi zagrljaj koji će trajati dva sata. Eto, to mi treba.

[sin-permisos]

⠀⠀ ⠀𝐅𝐁𝐈 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄

⠀ ⠀ „𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐀 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐀“

𝑮𝑳𝑶𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑫𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑹 𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮: 𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑫𝑬 9

𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Salma Paola Sánchez

𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑺𝑬𝑺⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Dona Diabla ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ La Jefa Sangrienta

𝑫𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑯⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ May 16th 1997

𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑯⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Mazatlán, Sinaloa, MEX

𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑬𝑹 𝑳𝑶𝑪𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Mazatlán, Sinaloa, MEX (1997-2012) ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Tijuana, Baja California, MEX (2012, on the run) Miami, Florida, US (2012-2015) ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ New York City, NY, US at Julliard (2015-2019)

𝑪𝑼𝑹𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑳𝑶𝑪𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Culiacán, Sinaloa, MEX (2019-date)

𝑨𝑭𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Sinaloa Cartel ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Sánchez Family⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Bakerfield Family ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Mariotti Family ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ People of Sinaloa

𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑻𝑼𝑺: active ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Head of the Sinaloa Cartel ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Governess of Sinaloa

𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳 𝑫𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑹 𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ highly intelligent ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ master manipulator ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ charming and convincing ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ unscrupulous and calculating ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ perfected liar ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ master of camouflage and distortion ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ criminally organized ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ highly trained assassin (melee and firearms) Juillard School studied actress⠀

⠀⠀ 𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑶𝑨 𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑳

𝑶𝑪𝑪𝑼𝑷𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Narcotics (manufacturing and distribution) ⠀⠀ Drug Smuggling ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Automatic Weapons ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Grand Theft ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Blood Money Laundering

𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑭𝑶𝑹 ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 632 unsolved murders in the US, MEX and various countries around the globe ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 412 deaths due to drug overdose worldwide jewellery theft worth 300 million dollars

𝑹𝑬𝑪𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬

Sánchez leaving a suspected S.C. traphouse in Tijuana, Mex (4/4/24; 3:47pm)

𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳 𝑳𝑰𝑭𝑬

𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑺⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Conoisseur of Music and the Arts ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Social and Beneficial Events ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Vacation and Partying with Friends Passionate Gambler ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Salsa Dancer

𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑰𝑵 𝑺𝑶𝑪𝑰𝑬𝑻𝒀 ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Highly respected member of the Mexican Upper Class ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ First female Governor of Mexico ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ First female Narco to lead a Cartel

𝑹𝑬𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑷𝑺 ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Engaged to Carter Bakerfield ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Pregnant with Triplets ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Granddaughter of Luis † and Paola Sánchez (the original Don and Dona of the Sinaloa Cartel) Daughter of Carlos and Maria ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Little sister of Ardian and Stella † ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Sister in-law of Kaliya ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Aunt of six precious angels ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Best Friend of Zelja Novakow (Head of the Columbian Medellín Cartel) ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

> always thrilled for new contacts and plots

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀

[insidethebeaststillgrows]

x

— nizariat

[queersrus]

You can make one with desire theme please?

this might be a bit dificult and thus short as a theme of desire more so works when you have an object of desire rather than just the concept of desire itself, but regardless i hope what i found helps!

(nick)names:

arzu, arezou, ardor, avidi, avidity, aspira begeerte, begearen, bazhannya cupid, cupido, crave, cupidi, cupidity

desir/desyr, desi/desy, des, desire/desyre, dearbhail, desideria, desira, desirette, desiretta, desirine, desirina, desirelle, desirella, desiderium, desiderius, desiree, dilek, deshire, desig, desideriu,

deziro, desexo, dezi, duil, dorinta, deseo eros, esha, epithymia gogoa

hope, himoita longun, longingly minyoti, munta, mposa, miann

nege, noras onske, ochicho, onskan soov

touha, tuzba venus, vili, viyan, verlangen, vagy, velme willo, willa, wish, wens, want

yearn zselyke, zeleti, zelja, zelemir, zeljka, zeljko, zelmira, zadannie, zelba, zhelaniye

1st p prns: i/me/my/mine/myself

ai/arde/ardory/ardorine/ardorself ci/cre/cravy/cravine/craveself di/desire/desiry/desirine/desireself hi/hope/hopy/hopine/hopeself li/longe/longly/longine/longingself wi/wishe/wishy/wishine/wishself wi/we/wy/wantine/wantself yi/ye/yearny/yearnine/yearnself

2nd p prns: you/your/yours/yourself

ao/ar/ardors/ardorself co/craver/cravers/craverself do/desir/desirers/desirerself ho/hoper/hopers/hoperself lo/longer/longers/longerself wo/wisher/wishers/wisherself wo/wanter/wanters/wanterself yo/year/yearners/yearnerself

3rd p prns: they/them/theirs/themself

ar/dor, ard/ardor, ardor/ardors cra/ve, cra/crave, crave/craves, crave/craving, crave/craved des/ire, desire/desires, des/desire, desire/desired, desire/desiring ho/pe, ho/hope, hop/hope, hope/hopes, hope/hoped, hope/hoping lo/longing, long/ing, longing/longings, longed/longing wi/sh, wi/wish, wish/wishes, wish/wishing, wish/wished, wish/wisher wan/t, wa/nt, wa/want, wan/want, want/wants, want/wanted, want/wanting yea/yearn, yea/rn, ye/arn, year/n, yearn/yearns, yearn/yearned, yearn/yearning

titles:

the desire, the desired (one), the being/deity of desire, the one who yearns, the desire of your heart

your (true) hearts desire

*one who desires endlessly, one who holds an unsaciable desire, one who yearns forevermore, one who craves, one who wants to fufil their hopes and wishes, who who desires for the pit in their heart to be filled

*one can be replaced with any prns

[insidethebeaststillgrows]

Today I will appreciate this handsome and wonderful man in my life. 🤍⛓️ @50shadesoffxckup

I really don't know how, what or why I deserve you because my life has always been pretty messed up. And I know you don't see it that way, baby. But that is not the case. You are a wonderful person and deserve to be loved with everything I can muster. Before I met you, I was a wreck and empty inside. You didn't take me to the sun, no. Because we both know that we are black inside. But you have made the blackness in us a blackness that I cannot and do not want to live without. You are my darkest wish and always will be. Calling you my boyfriend and maybe one day my husband is all I want. Fjodor Krylow you turned my life upside down and changed it in many ways, and I think you will do it more often. I want you to know that I will always love you no matter what. You are my partner, not only at work, but also my partner for life. You drive me crazy with your face, your tattoos and your irresistible smile. Please never lose your temper, baby. I wish you all the best on your birthday and I hope there are many more of them. I love you so much, Fjodor Krylow. Until I die and beyond.

Happy Birthday, Baby. 🖤

[insidethebeaststillgrows]

@dxvilenergy ⛓️

@zenujaca edit

[happy-orc]

I have completed this monster of a piece for @mathclasswarfare, who got the winning bid on a commision from me at the Final Fantasy Charity Art Auction. It started as a picture of just Sabiha, but ended up growing into a full light party! We ahve from left to right P'tchakha the white mage, Zelja the warrior, Aerelia the summoner and Sabiha the bard.

[bojesvemira]

Sjećam se dok jedem bakinu pitu od zelja ta mi je bila omiljena nije postojalo ništa na svijetu draže od hrane za mene, ne znam jel to jer sam je gledala kako prostire one stare čaršafe uvija kosu u šal pa u turban i tačno svaki milimetar zna koliko i gdje treba, ili jer je sprema znajući koliko volim. Uvijek sam punih usta govorila “bako ovako ćeš i mojoj djeci ti spremati, ja ovo nikad neću naučiti”. Uvijek se nasmije kaže “ ako ti ja poživim do tada” uvijek sam se ljutila na tu njenu rečenicu znam da mi je izazivala tugu i prazninu “ naravno da hoćeš nemoj tako govoriti” i trčala da joj se ušuškam u nedra i da mi pjeva svilo moja i gladi po zlaćanoj kosi. Nije ona ni moju dvanaestu poživjela, otišla mi u zalasku sunca taj ljetni dan šaputala mi neke lijepe riječi da sa njima ustajem svaki dan, pa da me makar onu pitu naučila praviti pa da mi to od nje ostane. Ali ništa, jedna rečenica , sjećanje njenih plavih očiju identičnih kao da ih sada u ogledalu gledam, nježnih ruku i plavih kovrdži. Pustoš u duši za osobom koju si najviše voljeo, moja bako pričam ti o tebi.

[salc3]

Ako ju jednom unistis, ne racunaj da ce ostati ista. Ne racunaj da ce biti vesela, "ziva", da ce se smijati. Ne racunaj da ce imati volju za zivotom. Ne racunaj da ce biti ona ista cura koju si upoznao. Jer vjeruj mi brate. Od tog trenutka kad ce je napustis, napusta i ona sebe. Napusta volju za zivotom, nadom i ljubavi. Gubi sve.. Sve nestaje kao da nikad nije ni bilo tu.

Ona se mjenja.

Postaje druga osoba.

Zatvara se u sebe.

Zaboravlja znacaj zivota.

Zaboravlja sta je imala prije njega.

Zaboravlja sta je bila prije njega.

Zaboravlja sve, i zakljucava se u sebe.

Ne dopusta vise ikome da joj se priblizi.

Sviju odbacuje. Sviju gura daleko od sebe. Neda im da sruse zid, koji je sagradila.

Ne probava da ikome dopusti da joj priraste srcu. Zapravo ne moze. Jednostavno ne moze. Ne zeli da ponovo prolazi kroz sve, zato sviju gura daleko od sebe. Takva je ona.

Pa zar ti je nije zao, brate?

Upitas li se ikada "Pa sto sam ovo ucinio? Nije mi nista skrivila. Samo me je voljela. Zar mi to nije bilo dovoljno? Sta sam drugo trebao, osim njene ljubavi?,,.

Ili ti tvoj "ponos" neda?

Jeli ti ego previse velik da joj odes,zagrlis je i kazes joj kako je volis?. Kako ti znaci sve? Jeli ti ego to ne dopusta?

Brate, vjeruj mi. Nije samo da ces njoj olaksati, vec ces i sebi.

Pusti ponos. Zagrli je i reci joj da je volis. Nista neces izgubiti.

Jer vjeruj mi. Ljubav je bitnija od laznih prijatelja i tvog ega.

Gdje ce biti ti "prijatelji" kada ostaris? Kada ti netko bude trebao? Kada padnes na dno, i ne mozes da ustanes? Tko ce ti tada biti tu?

Nitko, brate.

A nju nisi znao cuvati. Unistio si je i dopustio joj da ode. Mislio si da ces ju na taj nacin zaboraviti. Da ce tvoja ljubav prema njoj nestati. Ali jbga...

Sad je postala ljubav, zudnja, zelja, nedostajanje, postao si ovisan o njoj.

Ali nema je.

Sada umires polahko bez nje.

Bila ti je kao droga koju ubrizgas u vene.

Jedina te je mogla smiriti.

Ni jedna te nije mogla usreciti kao ona..

Ni jedna nije mogla zauzeti njeno mjesto.

Ali jbg, brate.

Unistio si je i pustio da ode.

Eto ti sada.

Sada oboje tugujete. Umirete. Patite.

A sta si sa tim postigao?...

NISTA!

[insidethebeaststillgrows]

look at my handsome man @50shadesoffxckup 🩶