#zedaph x dot

[teapot-of-tyrahn]

My payment for the ficlet:

Could I just get Zedaph being a silly? Thanks!

S.O.S / 88

words: 2,587 warnings: implied robot injury / abandonment a03 link! (i have an a03 now!!)

When Zedaph had first found her in the scrapyard, she’d been little more than a telegraph sounder. She wasn't even capable of making dihs or dahs, just dots and dashes. She was, by every definition of the word, useless; discarded, unuseable, utterly inutile… Broken. But Zedaph had never believed in such a word. Things were never really broken; just… temporarily decommissioned! They could be in states of disrepair, but never beyond repair. Everything could always be mended, rebuilt, improved; everything could always be fixed. That was why he came to the scrapyard in the first place. Zedaph knew what it was like to feel broken. He felt sympathy for every machine discarded by its creator in a wasteland of flotsam and jetsam, deserted and dejected. And so, whenever he wandered across one of these poor orphaned apparatuses, he felt it was his duty to try to give them what their inventor had not: A home. A purpose. Besides, it was much easier to fix an abandoned machine than to make one from scratch, especially back when he hadn't had the funding to afford his own materials. Upon closer inspection, it looked like her developer had intended for her to be a translator of sorts. A humanoid polygotic interpreter AI which had been designed to serve as an assistant to foreign diplomats and ambassadors. Scavengers had had their way with her, however, and so she didn't even have the tools left to serve as a functional morse code transliterator, let alone a functional world-wide translator. There was a twisted sort of irony in the fact that the AI meant to translate for others was unable to even properly translate her own thoughts and feelings into words, able to process the words being spoken but never able to understand them. Able to talk but never able to speak. A translator who couldn't even translate herself.

For the first few weeks when Zed had been working on fixing her transmitter, she always kept repeating the same string of sounds: Dot, dot, dash. Dot, dot, dash. She made the noise so often, it became an association, and Zed decided that was just what he would call her in meantime - a bit of a mouthful, sure, but wasn't Dot Dot Dash a better name then Unnamed Abandoned Appartus Number 21? It was just a temporary title until he found a way to get her communications sorted and she could come up with their own name, anyway. Though it turns out, she had been saying her own name, in a way: Dot, dot, dash. E-E-T. Ease-Enhancing Translator. Her hostname. He'd only figured that out when he found the marque on her forehead about three weeks into her repair. For a genius, he could be a little bit stupid, sometimes. Maybe really stupid. When he did finally figure out how to repair her transmissions, for about a month she was stuck only speaking in Dutch, because he'd accidentally selected the system's default of Netherlandic as his preferred language instead of his own of English in his excitement to get her up and running. And, with her operating system now in a foreign language, it was incredibly difficult to figure out how to turn on her bilateralism. Not his brightest moment. But it didn't mean it didn't lead to bright moments. Even though they couldn't communicate, at least not through language, that didn't mean they couldn't communicate in other ways. That didn't mean that, over that month, he didn't learn that she was an absolute menace at Mario Kart (Guess the Dash part of her name really rung true!), that she'd become an immediate fanatic of Hamilton, and that Sesame Street was her favourite comfort show. Just because they couldn't exchange words didn't mean they couldn't exchange glances, exchange touches, exchange laughs, exchange smiles. Just because he couldn't understand a word she said didn't mean he couldn't understand that he was falling head over heels for her. It took an embarrassing amount of time and effort, but eventually, inevitably, he finally managed to repair her communication system. And, finally, they managed to have their first conversation.

"So… what's your name?" It was a bit odd, asking the question; such a simple, innocent question, but it felt wrong. It was the sort of thing you asked somebody you just met. But they hadn't just met… not really. It felt like they'd known each other for years. All their lives. And, yet, these were the first words they'd ever spoken to each other. He - literally - knew her innerworkings inside and out, and yet, he didn't even know her name. They knew everything about each other, but at the same time, nothing at all. The robot replied with a simple answer to a simple question: "Dot, Dot, Dash." "Oh — oh my goddess, oh dear, oh no — did I accidentally set you back to Morse Code again?!" Oh, this was horrendous, he'd been trying to help but he'd put her back all the way back to square one— "No, no," A jittery, high-pitched sound came out of the android's voicebox, a soft laugh as she reeled Zed's hand away from her inner panel. "That's my name." "It is?" Zed asked, baffled and still slightly breathless from the scare, before he jumped slightly with the startled realisation, "Oh — oh! Oooh, Because, that's what I've been calling you — no, no, nonono, that's — that doesn't have to be your name, you see, I just… well, it felt awful drab calling you by a model number, and you always used to go dot, dot, dash!, So I was just using it as a placeholder, which, I… which I am realising, was perhaps slightly insensitive, it's little better then calling you boop beep bop, now that I'm thinking about it, it would be like naming a dog woof woof… Oh my gosh, I am so sorry—" "— I like it." "—Oh, I'm such a dunce, imagine calling a duck quack quack, or a chicken cluck clu— wait, you… what?" "Yeah!" She smiled. "It's silly! Who cares if it's a bit on-the-nose?" She booped his nose for emphasis before she continued, "It feels like me." "O—oh! Well… well, in that case. It's… It's nice to meet you, Dot Dot Dash! I'm Zedaph." He held a hand out for her to shake out of cordiality. Dot stared at his outstretched hand dubiously, her features almost betraying offence at his attempt at courtesy, enough to make him almost begin to worry it had been a test to see if he'd fall for calling her such an offensive name and he'd fallen for it, like an idiot… and before he had a chance to profusely apologise again and retract both his hand and his statement, she abruptly grabbed him by his offered hand and pulled him in… …to a hug. "Zedaph… I've watched you fling an oreo from your forehead into your mouth on multiple occasions, you once bit into an onion like an apple and then rubbed it on your face to make yourself cry, you sleep with a mint condition package of Minions playing cards underneath your pillow, your favourite colour is red even though everything you own is pink… I already know you, Zed. And you know me. Just because we didn't know each others' names doesn't mean we didn't know each other… and it certainly doesn't mean this is our first time meeting. This isn't an introduction… it's just… finally getting a chance to say hello." "O—oh." Zed felt his voice crack. There was nothing between them now, no barrier, language or otherwise. His voice was soft as he whispered, "Hello." Her voice was softer, a smile on her lips, as she whispered back, "Hallo."

Not another word fell from either of their lips. They didn't need words. Sometimes, actions were more powerful than words. And their lips' actions spoke louder than any sentence they could have strung.

.. / .-.. --- …- . / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.-

Safe to say, everybody on Hermitcraft loved Dot. And not just because she was one of the most talented people on the server - which she was, indisputably. She'd been built as an interpreter, but her skills were far from confined to linguistics…. she made the most thrilling commercials and logos for the shops in the Shopping District in all of it's history: Lookie Lookie at My Bookie, Shade-E-E's, Beefy Stores, Lamps Plus, ODEA… that was just to name a few successful bussinesses' whose success could wholly be attributed to Dot. She was also an absolute marvel when it came to the political field, somehow simultaneously making adverts for both Mumbo, Scar, and Plopper's mayor campaigns without either party realizing she was also advertising for every opposition, playing every side of the spectrum. And then, later, she pulled the exact same thing with HEP, The Podzol Party, and The Mycelium Resistance… This feat was one that could either be attributed to her astounding intelligence or the Hermits' astounding lack of intelligence. She was also a stupefying film director, and, in a similar vein, a stupefying music video director! Maybe too stupefying of a music video director. He still had nightmares about Bohemian Keralisody. And he couldn't help but still be a little lingeringly offended that both Poultry Man and Iskallman got their own fan edits but Wormman, the significantly cooler superhero of the server, got ziltch. Not that it was personal, just an astute observation from an outsider with no stakes in the superhero business whatsoever. He really didn't get why Poultryman of all people was her favourite superhero… to the point she'd requested he manufacture her a pair of bionic chicken wings. She even had him provide her with a chicken soundboard so she could communicate with her new brethern… which she had specifically requested not be made with real chickens' voices, as they could not consent to being recorded and doing so would infringe upon their rights, so the soundboard ended up just being Zed going buck, buck, buckawk! into a microphone for her at various pitches and inflections to use as she saw fit. She even ended up making an alter ego by the name of Stanley in an attempt to become Poultryman's sidekick, despite the fact there were much cooler superheroes out there to sidekick for besides a chicken in a trenchcoat. For completely random example: Wormman. Wormman was much cooler! And actually looking for sidekicks! Not that Zed was jealous. Not at all! Just a third-party observation.

Anyways. You'd think, surely, being the top graphic designer, commercial producer, film producer, and music video producer in the game was impressive enough of a resume… no, her awesomeness didn't stop there, not even close. She also dabbled in the armour stand business, and even further, became one of the server's best castle architects. Which was quite was a feat, given it seemed every season at least somebody had to build a grand castle of some sorts. But her castles were better than all of them - better then the NHO Castle, The Red Sky Bay Castle, Coe's Quest Castle, Wels' Cathedral, Bdubs' Castle, The Area 77 Castle, Stress' Ice Castle, RentheKing's Castle, The… wow, Zed was just realizing, Hermitcraft really did have a lot of castles. But, digressing! Her castles were the best castles. And that wasn't even just him being biased in his girlfriend's favour - that was just a fact. If monarchy on Hermitcraft didn't have a reputation for ending with a HoTgUy to the face, he would have crowned her Queen of Hermitcraft. It seemed the only thing she couldn't do was hit the high note in Hamilton's Burn… an feat she was coming closer and closer to achieving every day, which terrified Zed, for he was sure once she did so she'd become the epitome of perfection on all fronts and would transcend this mortal plane in a state of sublime quintessence.

Luckily for Zed, though, Dot had no intent to transcend. As much as Zed raved about her accomplishments, which were impressive in their own right, she wasn't going anywhere while she hadn't completed her greatest accomplishment of all. Her life's mission. Dot wanted to make sure nobody ever struggled like she had again. Words, vocabulary, verbality… Language itself was it's own 55-pin ladder puzzle. She was built to be a translator, and a translator she would be… not just for other languages, but for languages within languages, for inflections and undertones and connotations and implications that might as well have been their own language. She didn't want to let linguistic barriers to prevent somebody from living their best life… from saying hi to the love of their life. If she'd given up trying to speak English, she'd have never gotten the chance to tell Zed she loved him in words he would understand. And if he had given up on repairing her auditory processor, she'd have never gotten the chance to understand when he told her he loved her in words she'd understand. She still had a long way to go to be the global translator she was built to be, she didn't speak near seven-thousand languages nor with the fluency she would have liked, but that was okay. Because one of the languages she could speak was English - and, if anybody struggled with the language, just like she used to, she wanted to be there to help. To be what Zed had been to her — a teacher, a friend, and a crutch. The first person she helped, of course — coming full-circle — was Zedaph himself. The conversation went a little something like this: "Zed, dear, could you bring Danny's leash downstairs?" "Hm?" "I asked if could you bring Danny's leash downs—" "Come again?" "I SAID COULD YOU BRING DANNY'S LE—" "PARDON??" And that was how they learned that being in constant proximity to loud industrial machinery and exploding himself for comedic effect on a near-daily basis was not very good for his eardrums. It didn't take her long to diagnosis him with partial hearing loss, prescribe him with proper ear protection, and invent something to help. CCs she called it, or Closed Captions. Not a very original name, but it got the point across! She never really understood Zed's tendency to give things elaborate names like The Chickenerator, or Zombie Plinko, or The Celestial Cosmodrome… well, actually, she supposed she couldn't blame him for that one, but, the point with the first two still stood! The CCs were a simple device; a pair of contact-lenses that provided real time, accurate translations of what was being said in the corner of the wearer's vision. It was even toggleable! A subtle way to get subtitles in your subsidiary. And it wasn't soon after she'd made Zedaph his pair that word spread, and GeminiTay appeared at her doorstep to politely inquire what it could cost to have a similar device manufactured for herself. Gem didn't suffer from quite the same plight as Zed, but instead with an auditory processing disorder, which made Dot realise how helpful her invention could actually be to the Hermit masses… whether hard-of-hearing hermits, second-language hermits, hermits with auditory processing disorders, or even just hermits who preferred reading over listening… She was helping people. Even if only two, the fact she could even just help two people struggle a little bit less with the language she had struggled with for so long made it worth it. It made it so, when Zed praised her for how indisputably awesome she was, she could smile, and say, without hesitation, "I know!"

[tiny-minecraft-rabbit]

Day 4: Shrink Ray

Using my own prompt list: here. You can also read this and every prompt as they come on AO3.

Summary:

Zed has a super fun and awesome new challenge for Tango. It does require some.. size adjustments!

"Tango! Tango! Tango!"

"Zed! Zed! Zed!" Tango repeated, chuckling as he let the shulker box closed, standing for his friend. "What can I do for you buddy?"

Zed had a grin that meant something very silly and very fun was about to happen, which was the usual expression Zed had. It was pretty fantastic having a friend like him. 

"You're going to love this one," he insisted, hands flapping at his side, "Wanna follow me?"

Tango glanced down at his shulker box and the project of redstone behind him. He really should get this finished… but a few hours working with Zed was worth it. "Yeah, hold on," he broke away the shulker box and set it back into an enderchest. Once everything was just tidy enough that it wouldn't be overwhelming to return to he took Zedaph's hand. 

Surprisingly Zed didn't lead him back to his base, instead leading him underground. The facility was made of concrete and quartz, purposefully looking sterile and like a mad scientist lab, though it only seemed to be a long hallway that led to a small room with a gray stained glass window that looked into a large room. Inside the large room was a giant thing with a big red X painted on the floor where it was pointed, and to the side was a small maze, made for something about the size of a frog or even an endermite, with a cake sat in the middle.

Tango couldn't help the giggles, "Well this isn't ominous at all!" 

"I know right! Very comforting. There's even cake!" Zed replied with a grin, flipping a lever and the bright overhead lights turned on, "Now, Tango, I think you know where I want you."

"I can take a guess. Do I- Do I get to know what you're going to be blasting me with?" 

"You'll know very soon. Right this way," Zed said in lieu of explaining, opening an iron door and standing aside to let Tango through first. 

Anybody but Zed Tango would be turning the other direction and running for the hills, but there was always something so fun with Zed's tasks or experiments. Even if he ended up dead he would die laughing and cheering. He stepped through the iron door, barely containing a yelp as it slammed shut behind him, and walked down the few stairs (there was a bed at the bottom and he set his spawn) and into the big room.

He waved to Zed through the window and stood a few steps to the left of the red X, "Here?" 

He could see Zed's exasperated sighing and giggled. "To the right, Tango! On the X! Come on, you got the easy part. For now, that is."

Tango raised an eyebrow as that but swiftly moved over on top of the X, "Okay. Okay. Here then?" 

"Perfect! Now I need you to stand very still. I'be only tested this on sheep so far, and if they wriggled too much they died," Zed explained as he pressed a button in front of him. 

His laughter got slightly more nervous, "Noted! Staying still." 

The machine started lighting up, flashing a spiral of blues and purple, and humming lowly as it powered up. He hadn’t the faintest idea what was going to occur, but the pure yellow beam of light completely washed over him. He looked down, observing his arms and legs, trying to see what it was doing to him; if it was giving him polka dots or turing his outfit into a bright pink leotard. On the surface it didn’t look like it was doing anything. He looked up at Zedaph through the observation window to see him grinning, so it must of been working. He looked back at the machine– and then he had to look up at the machine, cause it was significantly larger than it was a moment ago. Another glance at Zed, and then the rest of the room, proved just what he thought, everything else had gotten proportionally bigger as well. 

Or, well, he had gotten a lot smaller. 

He burst into excited laughter as the machine turned off, “Zed! What? How!?” 

“The power of science, my friend!” he answered through the intercom. He pointed towards the maze at the side of the room, “Please enter, would you? There should be a ladder on the back.” 

“You’ve turned me into a lab rat!” Tango accused as he made his way over to the maze. He climbed the ladder quickly. The walls of the maze that he could have easily seen over just moments ago towered over him, and he wished he had thought to memorize it’s layout (but to be fair there was no way he could have known he was going to be in the maze). 

“You have one minute to get through! After one minute I’ll be adding a endermite for every thirty seconds you take, understand?” 

“Endermites? Wait- Wait- What’s the point of this challenge? Why am I doing this?” 

“Your timer starts-” Zed grinned, completely ignoring Tango, “Now!” 

“Oh geez,” Tango sighed before racing through the maze. He had a somewhat good idea where to go, but it was a lot bigger and trickier than he thought it was going to be. 

The minute passed before he was even halfway through, a note block chiming above him. There was the sound something like a gate opening and the chitters of a endermite echoed through the walls. He ran faster. Then another thirty seconds, still no end to the maze, and another endermite entered. Then another. 

It was two minutes and seven seconds in when he ran into an endermite, the bug that usually only ticked one heart of damage grabbed a hold of his leg and suddenly he was half health. He barely got a chance to scream before the second grab

He sat upright in the bed, laughing as he did. He was back to his usual size, which was expected, Zed didn’t have admin abilities. He couldn’t change his code so casually, this was more akin to a potion or beacon effect. He quickly made his way back into the middle of the room. 

“That was amazing!” He shouted up at Zed before yelping as an endermite bit him on the ankle. He crushed it under his foot on impulse. (He did not think about how it was possible that was the endermite that killed him and how easy it was to smash something so small.)

“Glad you enjoyed! Ready for round two?” Zed asked, hand already on the lever. 

Tango nodded, taking a step back onto the red X. “Let’s do this!” 

[hmshermitcraft]

Been seeing alot of x reader so wanted a crack at it with a Warden hybrid/Skulk based reader and zedaph

[Reader] had been living in the dark... Well, all their life. It was their home, their birthplace even, and one they defended with the might of one such a being as them.

But with no competition from other forces, and the mobs being little more than walking morsels, [Reader] was mostly dormant.

Everything changed when the shriekers sounded their alarm and sensors picked up the sounds of footsteps. Waking up to act against the possible looming threats of intruders, [Reader] stumbled into a run, following the vibrations flung around by sensors running amok

The first thing they saw was the trailing bright dots. It felt a little sickening to look at, being one so accustomed to the dark and dim glow, but it wasn't important. The next thing they saw was a mob unlike any other.

The long fuzz on the head was a light yellow; their skin living unlike the zombies [Reader] was so used to. Encrusted on either side of their head were a set of comparatively small yet hardy set of horns that seemed too brittle to collect vibrations clearly.

Anything below that was hidden in a long white cloak that radiated glowing dust and secrets and everything that wanted to know said secrets of how what worked and why it was done that way.

The thing that kept [Reader] seemingly stuck in places was the newcomer's eyes, wide from holding bubbling curiosity at the sight of them.

Those eyes were... very pretty when paired with that wonder in them.

~🪶

This city may only hold memories and graves now, but it is still a place Reader once called home. They can't let down their guard, no matter how pretty this strange intruder is.

They reach a muted agreement. Reader stays a safe distance from the being, and the being only looks, and doesn't touch. Occasionally the being looks back, smiling and waving when they find Reader is still there. The white coat makes them easy to find, like a beacon in the darkness.

It is almost sad, when they leave. It has been so long since Reader saw a creature that wasn't trying to destroy this place - clawing at walls or tearing up skulk. It was a nice change. Something beautiful, yet fleeting. But the caverns fall silent again, and Reader returns to sleep, happier for the memory.

They don't expect the creature to come back, especially with the intent of finding Reader. This time armed with pictures of places and things Reader doesn't recognise, and rounded scribbles they find no meaning in.

It is fascinating. And a mutual exchange. Clearly, this being wants to learn about this place, and Reader enjoys the company.

No harm will come to this small, squishy creature, within Reader's walls.

[dmwrites]

“Xisuma, can you sign this, uh, form for me, please? It needs an admin signature. No need to read it or anything, it’s nothing really. Stupid.” Zed stood as casually as he could, passing over a slip of paper to Xisuma, who put on his reading glasses. “No!” Zed said in a panic. “I mean, no, it’s just, please just sign it. Reading is for losers, am I right? Haha.”

Xisuma looked up at Zed, then back down at the paper, and then up at Zed again. He took off his reading glasses.

“Zedaph, why am I holding a field trip permission form?” Xisuma sounded just so tired.

“I- well, I mean- please sign the form.” Zed tapped his hooves nervously on the floor.

“What on earth kind of trip requires a permission form to go?” Xisuma put his glasses back on.

“It’s for a science experiment!” Zed said. “It’s in another land though, so that’s why I need an admin! Please??? Please X??” Zed begged.

Xisuma reread the paper and let out a long sigh. “Fine, as long as there is a chaperone there.”

“Yes, there is! The best one around! Oh, thank you X! You won’t regret this!” Zed pranced around Xisuma’s office joyfully as Xisuma signed the paper.

----

“Hello BadBoy of the Halo variety!” Zed was in his best lab coat, wool nicely arranged, even with a packed lunch from Beef, standing in a little spawn area.

“Zedaph! Welcome!” A super scary demon with a super big smile stood in front of him. “We are thrilled to finally have you! Here. Have you here.”

“Well, Mr. Halo, my curiosity knows no bounds, and the idea of a huge red egg is something I’ve never encountered before! I am delighted to help you experiment on it.”

“Ah yes, experiment…” Bad said, laughing. “Well, Zed, follow me please, and I’ll take you to The Egg.”

Bad lead Zed down a wooden plank path, which was highly worn. The buildings around, too, seemed worn. Old, falling down, unused, colors fading. It was quiet here, too. Zed wondered what civilization had once been here. Bad indicated for Zed to leap down a hole, and they ended up in a spider spawner farm room. There was a cat person hacking down some spiders- he turned and watched the two walk out of sight. Down a janky mismatched hall, and then Bad turned to the left, where there were a bunch of planks hastily nailed up.

Bad looked at the boards for a second, quiet. “They keep doing this for me.” He took out an axe and chopped them all away, revealing a grand staircase down further into the earth. “Let’s go, Zedaph! Much to do!”

Bad walked briskly down the staircase, but Zed took his time. He wasn’t much of a builder, all things considered, but the brickwork here was… weird. He knew it was nether brick. But it felt… wrong. The color of congealed blood and almost less solid then normal. The whole staircase was meant, clearly, to look grand. But it felt empty. But alive. Like there should be something in it.

“Zed? You coming?” Bad’s voice echoed up to him, almost a little muffled. Zed shook off the shivers he felt and trotted down to where Bad was standing. “Ah good. Thought you got cold feet at the last minute. Wouldn’t want that.” Bad said with a smile that did not reach his eyes. “Shall we?”

“Oh, yes, I am so excited!” Zed rubbed his hands together and took a clipboard out of his bag. He stepped forward into the room and audibly gasped. Zed lived in a world of incredible, but incredible is infinite, and this was beyond anything he’d ever seen. The room was bathed in red, like it was some kind of living cavity and they’d just drained the blood. Red vines hung from the ceiling, and pockets of lava dotted the floor. And there were tendrils, enormous and dominating the floor, walls, and creeping onto the ceiling.

And then there was the egg itself. Bad had described it vaguely over the phone as a red egg that was alive. And seeing it now, Bad hasn’t been to far off the mark. It sat in a corner, the epicenter of it all. And there was this deep ache of sentience all around. The air moved like something was breathing, but it was a weird sensation, like the air was taken out of Zed’s lungs when it took a breath. And it was dead silent, minus pops of lava and the footsteps of Bad and Zed.

“Oh wow.” Zed leaned down to study a vine. “This is insane! And it’s just been here, waiting for someone to find it?”

“Come closer to the egg, Zedaph. There’s a lot more to… study over here.” Zed looked up at Bad and he swore he looked paler then before.

“Bad, are you okay? You seem pale. I know this seems scary but we must investigate for science!” Zed asked as he picked his way to the egg.

“What? Oh, I’m fine.” Bad coughed, and some color returned to his body. Not all of it, but some. “Now, we are standing next to The Egg. It’s it amazing?”

“Fascinating!” Zed whispered, leaning in until his nose was almost against the egg.

“Do you hear it?” Bad’s voice seemed a little lower then before, and almost too gleeful.

“Hear what?” Zed said distractedly, jotting down a few notes.

“The egg.”

Zed looked up in surprise. “Is the egg talking to you?”

“Yes! And what about you, Zedaph? Do you hear it calling to you?” Bad leaned towards Zed, a look of urgency now on his face.

“No, but that’s so interesting! It is alive, or is speaking somehow! Fascinating! I can already think of so many tests we can do!” Zed was writing frantically.

Bad sighed. “Okay, let me ask you this. Zedaph, how do you feel about The Egg?”

“Excited!” Zed was indeed shaking with excitement. “I can not wait to study this thing! We could change the world with our discoveries!”

“So you like the egg?” Bad sounded excited too.

“I suppose so! I mean, it’s just some egg, so liking it is a relative term, but I like that it’s a weird thing to investigate!”

“So you’ll join the Eggpire, then?”

Zed looked up from his notes. “The what? Eggpire? Is that some kind of scientific group?” He gave Bad a concerned look. “You okay, my guy? You look…” Zed trailed off, not quite sure how to say “terribly happy and sad at the same time” without sounding rude. That, and the tears rolling down his face were surprisingly red. Maybe it was just the light.

“Yes, the Eggpire is just a big group of people who like studying The Egg.” Bad nodded.

“Excellent.” Zed looked at the egg again, full of thoughts, too many to even make an egg pun.

“And, just to be clear, you feel good about The Egg? You don’t hate it?”

Zed frowned and looked at Bad again. “Bad, it’s just an egg. There is no good or bad here. It’s just science. It doesn’t have like, eldritch powers or something.”

Bad gave Zed a long, searching look. “Yeah… of course, you’re right…”

“Frankly, I think we should make an omelette out of this when we’re done experimenting on it! It kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies, to be honest with you.”

[bdoubleowo]

Okay! Thank you to all 826 of you who have participated in my survey I now present to you the Hermitblr Official Traumatized Teen Caregiver chart:

Real Data under the cut

I thought this looked dumb so i. made everyone bigger so they reached the edge of the graph and adjusted people that overlapped to get their positions to still come across but not like. overlap so bad.. So the grid on the top one is meaningless it just makes it look cool. The line is at 5.5 here, though. And the edges of the image are 1 and 10 respectively.

Here's the averages to 3 decimal places because that's what i considered when placing them all. manually. on the grid. Dead center of the face was a little dot i used to place them and then hid.

Bdubs: (7.194, 3.649) 758 & 762 responses

Cub: (5.559, 6.929) 455 & 465 responses

Doc: (6.177, 5.494) 664 & 677 responses

Etho: (5.212, 5.282) 667 & 669 responses

False: (7.063, 7.975) 488 & 494 responses

Gem: (8.95, 7.510) 635 & 632 responses

Scar: (7.497, 3.147) 797 & 802 responses

Grian: (5.287, 3.464) 802 & 806 responses

Hypno: (5.755, 6.217) 161 & 159 responses

Jevin: (5.701, 6.176) 236 & 235 responses

Impulse: (7.949, 7.161) 683 & 690 responses

Iskall: (6.567, 6.131) 596 & 598 responses

Joe: (7.862, 6.500) 517 & 513 responses

Keralis: (7.018, 4.898) 458 & 451 responses

Mumbo: (7.329, 4.030) 789 & 793 responses

Pearl: (7.389, 7.424) 629 & 638 responses

Ren: (8.348, 5.359) 629 & 627 responses

Stress: (9.145, 7.830) 464 & 455 responses

Tango: (5.822, 4.639) 560 & 565 responses

TFC: (6.887, 8.779) 313 & 325 responses

Beef: (7.028, 6.779) 255 & 256 responses

Wels: (6.733, 7.640) 301 & 302 responses

xB: (6.201, 6.500) 166 & 168 responses

X: (7.308, 7.643) 600 & 607 responses

Zedaph: (5.746, 3.083) 575 & 590 responses

Cleo: (6.156, 6.616) 628 & 633 responses

EX: (4.133, 2.880) 618 & 616 responses

Renbob: (8.860, 4.466) 522 & 518 responses

Hels: (2.497, 4.000) 364 & 360 responses

[aj-is-typing-18]

How does ES(Evil Snek)!Keralis turn the hermits into 'puppets'? You implied he uses him as such in the throwing ask so I'm curious! Is it a constant state of hypnosis or a manipulation, hypnotize them when you need em for something you can't easily manipulate them to do kind of thing? Assuming the second since he does have charm speak and I imagine constant hypnosis would be hard to upkeep with 20+ people running around, even in the same place

So, so esencially, keralis splits the hermits up at first! Getting X, once the admin is dealt with he plans on getting tango but.....Zed asks to exsperiment with the others naga-ness. From there? Well I do have a little thing I drew-

After that, well, larger groups can help their friends! And keralises little sheepy can surely make them a few toys with that auto brewer he's been cooking up!

( design inspo from @spilled-jelly and @newtoodles-dot-png ! Go check them out <3 )

(Zedaph gets to test a potion keralis 'convinced' him to make!)

[sweetest-honeybee]

Just thinking about your feral Zed doodle (which definitely just a doodle...), and why Ex was shooting him full of lightning... And I have some theories/ideas about it.

It could go down the more predictable route — Ex undergoing something that makes him turn ‘evil’ again, like influence from the villains, a particularly bad encounter with Xisuma (which could tie in with the Xisuma-telling-Zed-not-to-trust-Ex thing), or even mind control or something. That would be yet another thing for poor Worm Man to cope with, and in this scenario might be the final thing that prompts him to join Impulse, Tango, and the others.

And that could work, but.

That scene could also be taking place during his dangerous anti-hero rampage you mentioned? After that point has already been reached, post-reveal of Ex being an ex-(pun not intentional) villain? The picture was, I think, when Zed was already feral Zed.

So in that scenario, Ex is doing that with actual good intention — to stop Zed’s ani-hero rampage. It could be to save the city, but honestly? He might not be evil anymore, but I don’t think he’s at the point where he’d actively take up the role of a hero (not sidekick) to save a city full of strangers from one of his only friends. No, he’d step in like that to save Zedaph from himself.

Because Ex does genuinely care for him. As you’d do for the only person in ever who actually gave you a chance, and who did that consistently.

And he knows what Zedaph’s like. He knows going on a rampage and joining the villains will never, ever help, because even if they are his friends, he’ll be living with the guilt for so much longer than he’d ever spend with Impulse and Tango. The consequences would hurt, forever, so much worse than the action would help for a simple few seconds.

And yeah, Ex... just doesn’t want to see that.

(Besides, he knows personally what it’s like to become a villain and to live with the consequences. Healing from lost friends may be hard, but healing from going evil because of a poorly-timed choice made when it felt, for a moment, like everything was too much? Well, it would take much longer than he’s lived.)

From a meta point of view, doing that would be a really good step in character development for Ex, as well as leading to some interesting confrontations with the heroes, especially X. Because he’s still supposed to be evil — he was only pretending to be a sidekick to gain trust before backstabbing. But that doesn’t exactly match up with his actions (they knew how much of a danger Zed was like that, and thought that if Zed actually did go evil, Ex would be pretty happy with that). Or, maybe X still doesn’t trust him — he did still attack Zed — but the others are, and that leads to more conflict about X’s perceptions?

In this timeline, then, Zed doesn’t go evil forever. I’m not sure what the actual process of healing from those kinds of emotional wounds would look like, but for now... it’s way too late for me, and it’s your story, anyway. Those events can just unfold. But I assume it would be something to do with actually facing the fact that Impulse and Tango are basically gone, but that that fact doesn’t mean the world is hopeless, and that there are other people, like Ex, who can still be there. The holes would never heal properly, obviously, but they’d probably hurt less as time goes on, and be filled with new, different things.

(And Impulse and Tango do feel guilty about at least some of their actions, right? There can be some redemptoon for at least one of them... right?? Or at least a hint, which might actually work better. It doesn’t have to happen, but after a potential angst overload, it might be nice.)

(...because I just really don’t want to lose our cinnamon roll. Be it to darkness or permanent depression.)

Thanks for reading this, by the way, I know it’s really long.

It is really long but like…..holy shit you legitimately read my mind

Like down to the fucking DOT what the fuck?????? XD

Dude you hit the nail right on the head!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Remember when Grian and Zed swapped bases and Grian messed with the void button? He did get out, but what if he didn't have the situation under control?

I wish Grian and Zedaph would collab more asdfghjkl also I love “what if” scenarios based on actual HC events so this was great fun to write! :D

...

  “This is Grian’s cave of contraptions!” announces Zedaph, gesturing to the dim interior of his cave. “It’s jam-packed full of all the craziest, wackiest contraptions your brain could ever imagine, so uh… be careful is my advice.” 

  “Okay, okay.” As he stares all around his new home, Grian’s mind is already racing with ideas and plans. Every corner of this undetailed cave is calling to him to work his magic and turn it from just a cave of contraptions to a beautifully decorated cave of contraptions. “And I’m free to do whatever I want?”

  Zedaph nods. “You can push any button, pull any lever, press anything, do whatever you like.”

  Grian’s eyes widen as he registers just how many pushable and flickable items are dotted around the cave. His fingers are already itching to interact with them all. “There’s so many buttons… and levers…!” 

  Zedaph giggles, sensing the impulsiveness rising in his friend. But his laughter quickly dies down as he realises exactly where Grian is standing. “Oh, that thing right in front of you? Be very careful about that, it’s a void hole.” 

  “What, down here?” Grian flicks open the trapdoor and hops into it immediately, but something stops him just two blocks down. 

  “Yeah, it takes you to the void.”

  “No it doesn’t.”

  “It will if you press that red button,” says Zedaph, indicating the button in question. “Please don’t do that though. You’re not meant to be able to fall into the void in the overworld so I’m not sure what’s gonna happen if you-.”

  But Grian isn’t listening. Already overexcited and running on pure impulsiveness, he presses the button and drops. 

  “Grian!” Zedaph shouts after him. 

  Grian stares down as he fully realises that there is indeed a hole to the void directly below him. Chuckling to himself, he tries to fly up.

  His wings are too large for the tight tunnel.

  Trying not to panic, he activates his elytra and a few rockets. 

  He keeps falling. 

  A scream escapes him as he plummets, grabbing wildly at the walls of the thin stone hole. Zedaph’s words have finally sunk in, and he has no idea what’s going to happen to him if he falls into the void here. 

  Finally, he manages to catch hold of the edge of a mined-out block right at the very bottom of the tunnel, his entire body hanging over the void. 

  “ZEDAPH!” he screams. “HELP ME!”

  Far above him, a panicked Zedaph jumps from foot to foot, staring down into the hole as he tries to think of something he can do to help. “Um…! Okay, okay…” He raises his voice to a yell. “Hang on, Grian! I’ll get help!” 

  He rushes towards the door and bursts out onto the sand. To his surprise, he immediately bumps into Tango, who steadies him with a grin. “Oh hey, Zed. I was just coming over to-.”

  “I need you to go get X!” Zedaph gasps out. “Quickly, it’s an emergency!”

  “Wh-What?” Tango blinks, registering Zedaph’s red face and panicked state. “What’s happened? Is everything okay?”

  “I can’t explain now, just go! Quickly!”

  Tango frantically takes off with his elytra, soaring into the sky at top speed. 

  Zedaph turns around and rushes back into the cave. A couple of blocks away from the void hole, he starts digging down with his pickaxe, ignoring the fact that he’s not technically supposed to dig straight down. He keeps going, desperate to reach his friend. 

  Finally, he reaches bedrock. He digs forward until the hole is exposed, with Grian still clinging on. 

  “Zedaph!” Grian gasps. “I can’t pull myself up!”

  Zedaph rushes forward and takes hold of Grian as best he can, strengthening his friend’s rapidly weakening grip. 

  “I can’t hold on much longer.” Grian’s voice cracks. “I’m sorry!”

  Zedaph quickly shakes his head. “You’ll be okay, Grian. Help is on the way.”

  As if on cue, he hears a voice yelling very faintly from far above him. “Zed! Where are you?!”

  “DOWN HERE!” he yells. “QUICKLY!”

  “We’re coming down, Zed!” Tango’s voice yells back. “Hang on!”

  Feeling a burst of courage at knowing help is coming, Zedaph manages to lift Grian up enough that Grian is no longer holding onto the bedrock. Grian gasps in fear and grips Zedaph’s arms so tightly that it starts to hurt. 

  But as he’s trying to pull Grian up, Zedaph’s strength rapidly drains away and they both slip straight through the hole.

  They both scream, clutching each other tightly for a meagre amount of reassurance as they fall towards certain death. As they get lower, they start taking damage, wrenching the two away from each other.

  Then all of a sudden, they stop falling. They hang suspended in mid-air, as if an invisible force has reached out and caught them. 

  When Grian finally dares to open his eyes, he finds himself lying on the ground in the cave, several blocks away from the opening to the void hole. 

  He can see two people nearby: Tango and Xisuma. The former is bending over Zedaph a few blocks away but Xisuma is standing over him, arms folded. “What did you do?”

  ““Are you okay, Grian?”” Grian mutters bitterly, imitating Xisuma’s voice. “Yeah I’m fine, X, don’t worry.”

  “Grian, I had to do something just now that I haven’t done in many decades, so I’d appreciate less attitude right now,” snaps Xisuma. 

  Grian hangs his head. “I fell into Zed’s hole to the void. It was fully my fault; I was being stupid. Zed tried to save me. Is he… okay?”

  “I’ll let you know when he wakes up,” Xisuma responds coldly. “He’s sensitive to the void, you know. He wasn’t just risking death to save you, he was risking his whole existence.”

  “Th-Then why did he build a hole to the void in the first place?!”

  “He wasn’t planning for some idiot to jump into it!” Tango snaps suddenly. “He put two safety measures in place and I’m pretty sure they didn’t just happen to fail RIGHT when you arrived!”

  Grian winces, knowing that his friends are right. “I’m sorry. I thought I had the situation under control.”

  As Tango opens his mouth to angrily say something back, his best friend weakly catches his wrist. “‘m okay,” he rasps. “I’m okay, Tango.”

  As Tango helps Zedaph sit up, Grian has to stifle a gasp as he notices that Zedaph’s face is extremely pale and almost invisible silver lines are snaking up his neck, stopping just under his chin. 

  “Thanks for saving us, Xisuma, Tango.” Zedaph gives a weak smile. “Sorry for the trouble.”

  “How DID you save us?” Grian ventures. 

  Xisuma shoots him a stern look. “A command I really don’t like using. Pray I don’t have to use it again.”

  With that, he turns and storms off towards the exit, slowing briefly to pat Zedaph on the shoulder as he passes. 

  “You mind leaving me and Grian alone a second?” Zedaph asks his best friend.

  Tango slowly nods, still scowling at Grian. “Sure thing. But come find me later, okay?”

  “Of course.”

  Zedaph waits until both Xisuma and Tango have left before turning to Grian. But before he can speak, Grian blurts out, “I’m so sorry! You warned me and I didn’t listen and now you’re hurt and we both could have died and-.”

  “Okay, okay, stop.” Zedaph can’t help laughing as he quickly interrupts his friend. “Stop. Dude, it’s okay. You made a stupid decision but honesty, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing in your position. I don’t usually listen to warnings and stuff either.”

  Grian sits back on his heels. “It’s still my fault. What’s with the… um…?” He gestures to his neck. 

  “Oh, this happens when I get too close to the void,” says Zedaph, tracing the line on his own neck. “Don’t worry, it’s not painful and it fades after a few hours. Dunno why it happens really, but I got it for days at a time when I was actually working on that thing. Gotta say, it was a pain to explain to Impulse when he was here breaking the bedrock. I- Wait, are you crying?”

  “No.” Grian clears his throat and turns away. “I just don’t know why you’re being so nice when I almost got both of us killed, maybe permanently.”

  “Well, I mean…” Zedaph gives a carefree shrug. “We didn’t die, so no need to dwell on the past. Lesson learned, huh?”

  “Normally I’d say no but in this case, I think it’d only be possible for me to learn this lesson harder if you or I actually died.”

  “Exactly!” Zedaph rises to his feet, ignoring the sting of pain coming from his lower back. “C’mon, let me show you the rest of the cave. I’ve got some epic stuff in here that will only kill you in normal, minorly painful ways.”

  Grian lets out a quiet laugh. “Okay, let’s do it.”

  Zedaph helps him up and the two start further into the cave but Zedaph stops. “Wait a sec, I just need to do something quickly. Go explore a bit, I’ll be right back.”

  As Grian walks away, Zedaph heads back towards the hole. He mines out the iron trapdoor and replaces the first three blocks inside the hole with stone, including the block that used to hold the trapdoor, then he removes both the lever and the button, nullifying the redstone. He can replace them later, once they’ve swapped bases back. 

  After all, there’s always another void hole, but there’s only one Grian.

[writing-the-end]

LoL Chapter 56- Ancient Quarrels

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

Ex returns home with new friends, but struggles with the reality that his old stomping grounds have grown up without him, all while learning more about the history of dark magic.

-----------------------------------------

“I thought I told you to come alone.” Xisuma states, staring at the rainbow haired twins. No matter how much the two try to blend in, the ever shifting colors of their locks always stand out. 

“I thought you could use the help. You clearly need it if you reached out to me.”  Ex steps off the pirate ship, followed by the king and his brother. Ex tries his best to keep his gaze on the ground at his feet, the grass, sand, and dirt. He doesn’t want to see what Xisuma and all his friends have done to the safe haven they found together. As brothers. He doesn’t want to see what he's missed, what he’s been too afraid to claim for his own. He doesn’t want to see how much time has changed the island he once called home. 

But Ex stumbles over a rock, his books scattering from his arms, while he plummets to the ground. He could let go of his remaining scrolls and books, but these articles are ancient and invaluable. He’d rather break his nose than let go of them. 

Lucky for Ex, he doesn’t have to choose. One of the hermits grabs him before he gets a mouthful of dirt. Ex opens his eyes, forced to look at the island. And he sees everything. 

It looka exactly the same. It looks completely different. The grounds were the same- the same rocky shores, soft beaches, hills, forest, even the lake at the center on the north side of the island. The grass the same green color, the sky the same blue, the distant mist and waves dancing together. But dotting the island now stood a menagerie of buildings. Where there used to only be the tower of stone he and X built, now a glass biodome rests on one side, a barn on the other. Smoke rolls free from the chimney of a weaponsmith’s house, and just off the island a cloud floats low, the white tower upon it open to the breeze of the sea. 

Ex collects his books, and slinks off to the guild hall. Sor follows Grian to help with Apatia, to make the decision on how to move forward with his recovery. Tris follows behind Ex, taking in the open sea and sky. So unlike Milliara. 

It was exactly that which drew the void twins here in the first place. They dared enter the Ashioll sea because it was quiet, peaceful, unlike Milliara. Back when there were only two- they didn’t need anyone more. They didn’t want anyone more. In the end, Ex got to be alone, moreso than ever. Without even a brother. 

Being back on Eremita was painful, but as a healing wound would be. For the first time in years, his brother reached out to him. For the first time, they were putting aside the argument so long ago and working together. Like they did when they were young. 

At the same time, both X and Ex set out their books on the same table. At the same time, like mirror images of one another, they set out their maps, their inkwells, their quills, even their books ordered the exact same way. The similarities between the two were uncanny, leaving the hermits baffled as they watch them. If it wasn’t for Ex’s white hair, it’d be impossible to tell them apart. 

Ex speaks first, pulling the red fabric of his cloak away from his face so the hermits can hear him. “The last known insurgence of dark magic was over a thousand years ago. Before Lairyon became a kingdom, near the end of the ancient ones’s time. As we all know, Addows is the only place that still has significant and readable history of the ancient ones. Everything disappeared just like them.” 

“And no one knows why.” Tris adds in, sitting down and plucking a book. He flips through the pages. “The ancient ones had magic more powerful than most wizards. Very few forms of ancient powers survive today- including angelic magic.” 

The hermits look at Grian, but he simply shrugs. He knows nothing about the ancient ones, just that they’re… well, ancient. Iskall speaks up, resting his cheek on his hand. “Could it be that it was the dark magic that wiped them out?” 

Both of the void twins and Tris shake their head, and begin to answer at the same time. Ex and X glare at one another, and Tris takes the moment to answer instead. “No, it’s not like there’s a sign of a fight, or a struggle, or anything. Just...one day they were all over this kingdom, and then- poof, gone.”

“But the ancient ones weren’t the only people here. The kiplings have been living in these waters longer than anyone. And if we cross reference the information King Sormena gave me access to in the royal library, and the deep sea libraries of the Kiplings, we can start to get an inkling of understanding.”

“My gods you’re so boring even now.” Xisuma groans. “We dont need the whole story, and Lairyon doesn’t have time. What did you learn and how can we use it to defeat Dolios?” 

“Well…” Ex bits his lip. “We didn’t learn how they defeated the dark magic all those times before. But we did find the location of one of their lost cities. Tris and I believe it could even be the ancient capital of theirs.” 

The hermits groan, some even dramatically flopping back in their chairs. It seems all they ever have are breadcrumbs, leading them around in circles all across Lairyon. TFC speaks up first, though even he seems exhausted. “It’s better than nothing. It’s our only hope at this point. So where is it?” 

“Tris had pinpointed the general location of the lost city in the Ashioll Fjords, but together we were able to determine the exact location.” Ex plucks a quill from the table, dipping the tip in the ink and marking one of the many divots and crests of the northernmost part of Lairyon. All the hermits lean in, peering at the location. It looks no different from any other part of the fjords, or even the rest of Lairyon. 

“If anyone knows how to defeat Dolios’s dark magic, it has to be the ancient ones.” Etho states. “They did it before, we just have to do it again.”

It gives the hermits hope to know this isn’t the first time, they aren’t the only ones in all of history to face dark magic. Ex looks up at the hermits, a question that’s been dancing in his mind finding its way to his tongue before he can stop it. “Why did you guys ever decide to do this? What in the world made you guys think you could take on a dark wizard? Be the chosen few like the ancient ones?”

The hermits look at one another, as if they’d find an answer in the stares and faces of their peers. But no one has the answer. Though Joe is more than willing to come up with his own. “Perhaps, in this story, there are no chosen ones. No destiny or prophesied heroes. Perhaps it is just by the choice of normal man, who chooses to make a difference, who chooses to stand up and fight, that is really what makes a hero?” 

“Is this what I missed when I left?” Ex questions Xisuma, who nods solemnly.

“What will we find in the lost city?” Grian questions. 

“I dunno, it’s lost.” Tris quips, causing Grian to blush when he realizes his question. “But if it’s anything like Addows, you should be prepared for ancient ones magic and the stone buildings they made their cities from. Apart from that- you just gotta look in the right place.” 

The hermits realize they’re going in on this blind. Once again, they have little more than a hope, a thread of a lead, taking them somewhere in search of answers. Whether it was Gildara, or the Champion’s Cup, or even the Forest of Memories, they’ve always been chasing the same specter of knowledge. Hoping to find something more. 

“But you won’t be alone this time.” Ex points out. The hermits turn to face him, his face so familiar, yet so vastly different. “King Sormena volunteered to go along with you, to give aid on your search.” 

Tris averts his gaze, his jaw set tight at the mention of his brother joining the hermits. Doc raises his hand, almost condescending. “Won’t Dolios notice the king is gone?” 

“He’s not in Milliara right now. The Wanderers informed me of that- where he is, I don’t know, but this is a rare opportunity that we can’t waste. You’ll need every mind and magic to figure out the puzzles and clues that the lost city may have. I’d best get packing if i were you guys.” 

Groups disperse off, back to their homes, caves, ships, and clouds. Once again preparing, as a whole guild, to go off on another adventure. Even Tris disappears, either to go find and argue with his brother, or get a pint of beer from Cleo. But one person stays behind. 

Xisuma doesn’t ever look directly at his brother, but he always turns his head just slightly to be able to see Ex shuffling papers. His body is aimed out from the guild hall, looking over, across the island of Eremita. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, X speaks up. “Will you be able to take care of Apatia while we’re gone? I don’t think he can go back to Milliara with you.” 

Ex raises an eyebrow. It almost sounds like an invitation to stay on the island. Almost. “I guess if no one else will, I can offer my help. And glean information from him about the magistrate. Perhaps I can talk to Ian about engineering a prosthesis… Kiplings aren’t really meant to live without their fins.” 

The void mage shakes his head, listening to his brother continue to ramble on under his breath. So many years apart, and yet the same old Ex. For the first time in years, after so long hating his twin, refusing to talk to him, removing every sign he ever existed on this island, now he’s standing in their guild hall. And for the first time in years, Xisuma feels like he can let go of the anger and tension from that fight so long ago. 

Ex steps up beside Xisuma, and the two gaze over Eremita. They watch as Keralis and Zedaph round up sheep for their midday meal, Iskall, Mumbo, and Grian arguing over what kind of redstone they could possibly need on their journey, Wels and False sharpening the blades of their own weapons and others. 

He doesn’t want to admit it, but Eremita looks more alive than it ever was when it was just the two of them. The colors of all different wizards, from all walks of life. All a part of this guild that Xisuma has found. All this, that Ex was afraid of. “You’ve done a good job building yourself a home. Finding yourself a family. Guess you didn’t really need me.” 

Xisuma turns, and removes his mask. For the first time in years, Ex can see his brother's face. They can both see the scars they left on each other. On their skin and in their hearts. Xisuma’s fingers run along the scratched out marking in the metal. Wishing he could take that fit of anger back and fix it. “I didn’t do this without you, though. When I wasn’t sure what to do, it was always your annoying voice that guided me to the right decision.” 

“We have the same voice.” Ex points out. 

“Exactly. No matter what, no matter what I did, you were still with me, a part of me. But when I didn't know what to do, I thought about what you would choose. And it always led me in the right direction. Even though you weren’t here, I still needed you. I still needed my brother.” 

To hear that word come from Xisuma’s mouth, to hear him call Ex that- brother. All these years, all he ever wanted was his brother back. To have a family again. Ex can feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, but he doesn’t want his brother to see him crying over such a simple thing. “I think it’ll be nice to have a family again. It...it feels good to be home.”

[justletmeplayminecraft]

a ficlet where tango and zedaph’s playing as ghosts becomes a bit too real.

i’ve not been able to write for a week straight then hammered this out in a few hours after watching tango’s episode. sue me.

(also their characterisation may not be perfect since i’ve not seen so much of them,, sorry)

Zedaph wakes up on the floor.

As he sits up, he can't quite place how he ended up on the floor. In fact, he can't place much of yesterday. He glances up, to the nearest window. The dark purple sky greets him, stars dancing across in their slow waltz. He'd hope one of the hermits would’ve put him in his bed if he passed out. Rather than next to it. On the cold, hard floor. He scowls, picking himself up and standing. He looks down, starts to dust himself off.

It takes a second for his half-awake brain to process that he can see through himself.

It takes less time for him to start panicking.

He stumbles forward, rushing to the nearest reflective surface. There's nothing in his inventory, so he picks up an elytra from the side, with a bundle of rockets. When he looks into the water, the rockets are all he sees. He doesn't have any potion effects on, right? What is happening here?

Xisuma. Xisuma must know. Xisuma's the admin, he knows everything. Zedaph, on the other hand, doesn't know where he'd be at this time of night. He tries to activate his communicator and can't. His fingers go straight through. He decides not to think about that, and bashes open the door. Part of him considers it lucky he still can.

It takes a few attempts to attach the elytra to his back. The first time, it goes straight through him. And the second. By the third time he's able to settle it on his back, fumbling as he closes the clasp. The wings spread out, as transparent as he is. This is getting weirder with every minute.

Maybe at this point, he should just feel pleased he's able to fly. He heads for Xisuma's base, hoping that the admin is there. Throughout the flight, he remains as transparent as when he started. He should've picked up more of his items, but he doesn't want to turn back now. The shopping district's lights are dotted beneath him, the large structures providing some distraction as he dodges between them.

Despite the panic, he can appreciate how fun it is to dive into Xisuma's base. He lands gently, his feet scraping across the ground. He barely kicks up loose sand as he walks.

"Zed!" A voice calls, echoing across the base. Zedaph spins around, legs going weak at the sight of Tango running towards him.

"Tango, oh-! I am so glad to see you." As Tango gets closer, Zedaph realises he's transparent as well. They meet in the middle of the room. Tango's hands are solid on his wrists. Zedaph grasps his arm, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Do you know what's going on? I just woke up and-" Tango steps back, holding up his hand. 

Zed shakes his head, "I don't know, I woke up like this." Tango makes an amused noise, raising his eyebrows.

"Woke up like this, huh?" Zedaph shakes his head, punching Tango's arm as the other breaks out laughing.

"Tango, this is serious!" He knows he's smiling as well. But it sobers the mood. They look each other up and down, no items bar the elytra on their backs. "What's happened? I can't even see my reflection."

"I tried putting armour on and it went through me," Tango says, "Not that it mattered. I don't think any of the mobs could see me anyway." Zedaph huffs, crossing his arms.

"And did your communicator work?"

"Nope." Tango pops the 'p'. "I'm guessing you're looking for Xisuma as well?" Zedaph nods.

"He's the admin. He's gotta know something's wrong. And fix it! I've got a show to host!"

"And I've got minigames to build," Tango agrees, "So we've got to-" The sound of fireworks catches both of their attention. They glance upwards, catching a glimpse of a green suit coming in to land. "Speak of the devil." Zedaph puffs out a laugh, running to meet Xisuma where he lands.

"Xisuma! X!" He shouts, the noise bouncing off the huge walls. He runs towards him, Tango striding up behind. "Xisuma?" The admin hasn't even looked in his direction. Tango reaches Zedaph's side, both of them watching as Xisuma walks past them.

"X, hey?" Tango tries, getting no response. Xisuma continues walking. "Xisuma, dude, this isn't funny." Xisuma looks up at the sky, frowning. He opens up his menus, checking the player list.

"The wind must be getting up," He murmurs to himself, continuing to his chests. Zedaph and Tango stare ahead. Zedaph places his hand on Tango's arm, squeezing the solid feeling beneath it.

"We… we weren't on the player list," He whispers. "We weren't on the player list- and we're transparent, and now Xisuma can't see us-" He can feel himself getting out of breath. Tango turns, faces Zedaph. His red eyes are squinted, looking strange without the slight glow.

"It's like we don't exist," He finishes, as Zedaph takes a gulp of air.

"We're ghosts. We're literal ghosts." Zedaph presses his hand to his mouth, laughing with an edge of hysteria. "Tango, what do we do?" Tango presses his lips together. He looks at Xisuma, still sorting through his items, oblivious to the two stood in the centre of the room.

"I have no idea."

[rendiggitydog]

The gang’s all here!

"Welcome every-hermit! To the annual Partner Problem event! This is our first year getting everyone to play, so welcome!" X smiled as the crowd of hermits below him cheered. "I'll explain the rules for the newbies."

"I will draw two names out of a helmet. Those two people will be fitted with curse of binding boots, which magically link the pair. These boots will force you to stay within 3 meters, or 10 feet, of each other. You will wear the boots for 24 hours, and then the spell will dissolve. Make sense?"

Heads bobbed in agreement.

"Then let's begin!" X picked up the helmet at his feet, shuffling the papers inside. "Zedaph..."

Zed jumped, excitedly looking around for who his partner might be.

"...and Welsknight!"

There were assorted congratulations as Wels and Zed found each other, grinning excitedly.

"Alright, quiet down! Next up: Tango and Iskall!"

Laugher and groans. The two pranksters high-fived, already whispering mischievously.

"Stress and Grian! False and Jevin! Scar and Python!" X rattled off the names, each greeted with excitement. "Me and Cub! Cleo and Mumbo! Impulse and Joe! Docm and biffa! Rendog and TFC! And that's everyone! Line up to get your boots, and thanks for coming out!" X glided down from his make-shift pedestal, throwing open a chest full of glowing leather boots.

The hermits filed through with their partners, pulling on their new boots and testing the limits. Slowly, the plateau emptied, everyone heading their ways for the day.

—

"Work with me here, love!" Stress laughed, trying to pull Grian away from the store window.

"Sorry! They made a new tnt, and this one is player-friendly!" Grian hopped up, beaming as he returned to Stress' side.

"We can check it out after I return Impulse's backup elytra he let me borrow. It's been a couple weeks and I need to return them!"

"What ho, and salutations!" Joe waved as he and Impulse appeared over the ridge.

"Hi Joe! Impulse! How are you doing?"

"Really well! We're taking turns picking the pass time, so it's been fine."

"We were just on our way to Impulse's home behind the sea foam." Joe gestured in the direction of Impulse's bay area.

"How delightful! Well, I just wanted to return your elytra I borrowed. Thanks again!" Stress handed over the wings, which Impulse accepted gratefully.

"I was wondering where I left those, thanks!"

"Okay, can we go look at the tnt now?" Grian shifted back and forth, glancing back at the tnt.

"Fine. As long as we can go ice mining later for my castle." Stress threw a humorous look at Joe and Impulse as Grian rushed back to the storefront. "Bye!"

"Those two must be having a ball." Joe remarked as he and Impulse calmly continued their stroll.

—

"So this is the vault, huh?" Ren gaped as TFC led him down.

"Sure is."

"Wow... It's so big..."

"Thanks, I've put a lot of time into it."

"Tin, how did you find the time to do all this?" Ren peeked through a door, taking everything in.

"I've just cracked down and worked hard, that's all." TFC pulled some stone out of a chest without slowing his walk, heading for the next room he needed to finish.

"Woah, that was slick! You didn't even stop walking, you just grabbed that stone, like Whoosh!" Ren exclaimed, swooping his hand through the air.

"Oh, you know it. This way."

The large vault narrowed to a corridor, which the two squeezed through, reaching a decent-sized room, half excavated. Tin set right to work, mining at the wall with one hand and picking up the stone with the other. The older man relaxed in his element, killing a zombie without hesitation when it crept up on him. Ren simply watched in awe at the grace. He was startled out of his trance, however, when TFC tugged on their binding boots.

"I gotta put some stuff away, come on."

Ren followed slowly. "That was crazy. Like, you were just mining, but it was like a dance! Does that make sense? We don't need to go to my base later, we can just stay here for all 24 hours! Can I help?"

Tin rubbed his temples as he tossed the last of the stone in a chest. "You can have the most important job of all."

Ren perked up. "The most important?!"

"Hold these." Tin shoved a bunch of shulker boxes into his arms.

TFC set back to work, tossing the stone into the boxes as he went. Ren didn't mind holding the stone- he was just glad to be part of the process.

"This is fantastic! Why don't we hang out more often? You're so cool Tin!" Ren babbled on in excitement over the menial labor.

"Hey Ren-" TFC quickly cut in. "If you don't talk, I'll do something cool."

Ren gasped loudly, and sealed his lips. Tin shook his head, silently laughing as he dual-wielded a second pickaxe, blowing Ren's mind.

—

Well hullo!" Cleo and Mumbo waved as they approached Scar and Python. The two were sitting in the grass outside Scar's terraforming shop, flower crowns and necklaces all around them.

"Heya! How are you two?" Scar greeted as Mumbo and Cleo sat next to them.

"Pretty good! Neither of us had a whole lot to do, so we're visiting everyone else. What are you doing?" Cleo picked at the grass.

"We've been making flower chains! Wanna learn how?" Python displayed the chain he was currently working on.

"Absolutely!"

The four hermits soaked up the sun as they weaved flower crowns, half-asleep from its warmth and sweet aroma. At some point, False and Jevin stumbled by, tears of laughter streaming down their faces.

"How's it going?" Scar giggled, already knowing the answer.

"Could be better-" False wheezed, wiping her tears. "May we-?"

Jevin and False tripped over each other and collapsed in a pile of giggles. The group talked and laughed for hours, while the sun slowly fell. The stars twinkled into sight, and they fell asleep stargazing.

—

"Alright," Tango breathed. Iskall nodded, and they slowly dipped their wings in sync. After practicing all day, they were finally coordinated enough to cause some mischief.

Two glowing dots walked the grounds outside the newest ConCorp studio- two hermits holding torches in the night.

"Cub and X?" Iskall whispered into the dark. Tango nodded, pulling out a stack of eggs.

"Ready... GO!"

Cackling loudly, Iskall and Tango pelted the ground with eggs, watching X and Cub dance away from them. One figure glanced up, spotting the pair in the air, and shook their fist dramatically.

"You're not even Poultry man!" X's voice called after them, but they were already flying away.

"Fan-frickin-tastic!" Iskall howled.

"They thought we were poultry man!" Tango slapped his leg. The wild excitement distracted him, and Tango wobbled before plummeting to the earth.

"Gah!!" Iskall spammed rockets, desperate to stay in the air. However, Tango's limp body dragged him down, and the two splashed into the water violently. The sounds of drowneds instantly lit a fire under them, and they paddled tiredly to the shore.

"Hehe, worth it." Iskall wiped his hair from his face, sand getting everywhere.

Tango panted as he collapsed on the sand. "Absolutely."

—

"Huzzah!" Zedaph triumphantly held up the blue parrot. He and Wels had been searching the jungle for hours, and this was the first bird they found. They were tired and bruised, but it was worth it.

"Did you hear that?" Wels whispered.

Zed rolled his eyes. "For the last time, Wels, it was probably an ocelot. We can sail home if you'd feel better about it?"

"Yes please!" Wels sighed in relief as they made their way to the shore. The rustle of leaves behind them made Wels jump again. "Let's go." He glanced over his shoulder as he pulled out a boat.

"SNEAK ATTACK!" Doc and Biffa lunged from the bushes, diamond swords drawn. Their armor and faces were coated with mud and leaves, their binding boots streaked with war paint. Somebody screeched (cough Zedaph) and everything happened all at once.

Suddenly, the attack was over as soon as it started. Biffa ran too far ahead of Doc, and the two tumbled into the sand at Zed's feet.

Doc looked up bashfully, his helmet falling from his head. "Fancy meeting you here.."

Zed blinked. "...Well now I don't think this is a coincidence, us meeting in the jungle like this, you crying Sneak Attack!! But okay!" Zed laughed, releasing his tension.

"I suppose our mission was a failure, then?" Biffa sighed with a grin.

"I suppose so- but you did scare Wels pretty well!" Zed patted Wels on the head, as he had fallen over in his freight.

"I told you so!!"