#zane thinks its the greatest thing ever
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Garte fears Janus for two reasons
1. Related to Lillian (who is also absolutely terrifying in the manner of which people fear dolls)
2. Their whole moral code revolves around Zane and this means that they'd absolutely 100% kill him if he asked them to
Generally, Garte is untouchable, cause he's the Lord of O'Khasis (a military and political powerhouse) but Janus Does Not Give A Fuck about the concequences to his actions they have exactly 1 thought in their mind at all times and it is of Zane
#i think Janus should put the fear of god (*cough* Zane) into that man#Janus legit walks past Garte in the halls and he starts sweating bullets because someday they will be his Doom and he knows it#hed tell zane to get rid of them but thatd be showing weakness#and zane is like a shark#once he smells blood its over#janus is unaware of gartes fear#zane is not#zane thinks its the greatest thing ever#i know LOGICALLY this wouldnt make sense but consider#garte deserves to suffer <3#garte ro'meave#zane ro'meave#zane mcd#janus the silver death#janus mcd#minecraft diaries#mcd
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Random ninja headcanons
Warnings: this contains talk about mental health, death and violence
- I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, they’re major adrenaline junkies, especially Kai and Jay
- all of them have had mental breakdowns in middle of the night and just cried
- They all have major trust issues, I mean just look at how Lloyd was doubting Sora in DR S1
- They definitely have movie nights together
- Cole feels unlovable since the rest of the ninja have met someone who loves them, but then he met Geo
- sometimes they share traumas and help each other get through traumas
- I feel like they all have this one fear, which is that the team starts to break apart and everyone just moves on with their lives
- Lloyd sees Kai as his older brother and Nya as his old sister, the siblings he never had
- They all think they’re not good enough for each other
- Lloyd feels responsible every time one of the ninja get hurt, die or get banished to unknown realms
- When they can’t control their anger especially Kai and Lloyd, they try to get away from others, either train in the courtyard of the monastery or try to find bad guys to beat up
- They actually care about their friends and allies a lot, I can imagine Cole, Kai or Jay thinking about how Faith and the other hunters are doing
- Cole actually loved Nya, but when Jay and Nya got together, he accepted it and moved on, but deep down he always has loved and always will love Nya
- Harumi really broke Lloyd’s spirit, so much he doesn’t believe real love exists anymore
- Kai has imagined how he’s future with skylor would look like
- Whenever Zane feel a wave of strong emotions come on, he turns off his emotions or talks to Pixal about it
- Kai feels responsible for Lloyd, ever since he saved Lloyd from that volcano, he has always felt responsible whenever something happened to him
- Cole loves cake, not because of its flavour but because every time he eats cake he is reminded how good life can be
- Aspheera left Kai with a trauma for his whole life, how he felt useless and couldn’t help
- Pixal and Nya have girl dates, where they can just relax and do skincare and talk about boys and all the stuff girls do
- Kai really hates selfish people, because it reminds him of himself when he was younger
- They shut each other out when things get hard but Wu has tried to teach them that their a team and they should deal with it together
- Lloyd always think lesser of himself because his father is one of the greatest villains in Ninjago history
#lloyd garmadon#ninjago headcanons#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago lloyd#cole brookstone#jay walker#kai smith#ninjago#nya smith#ninjago cole#ninjago nya#ninjago zane#ninjago kai#ninjago jay#lego ninjago#jaysnunchucks
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Ninjago Dragons Rising Episode 11 spoilers//
I love how Beatrix tries handling the situation with Imperium, lying to her people, and then we see, of all people, Percival, doubting her, like that's so odd... I also really like this episode as a whole, the beginning, while not like "oh my god wowie wow oh this is the greatest thing ever!!!" still made me very happy, seeing all the ninja riding in was so cool. I also like how demanding Zane is in telling everyone off so he can tell them the severity of the Mergequakes.
Another cool thing is Lloyd's line "why didn't he just let us help him?" because it highlights my favorite flaw of Wu, he still struggles to properly trust and ask for help... although it IS a bit weird bc Id assume hed be more open asking for help after s7
ALSO think its funny how all we've seen of Ras is him growling like an angry cat. Love that for him.
(not as important but I love how smooth the animation is when Beatrix is like "of course we're not gonna do a good thing we're gonna use the mergequakes as weapons sillygoose hahahaha")
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Day 23 - Endless
Day 23 of DeerCon24 Darling gets hunted in the endless hallways of the Oceanview Hotel Read on AO3 here
With a gasp of confused fear, Darling woke in a large, blood-soaked bed, disorientated and reaching out for his partner.
Casper had been so glad to meet Tom. A friendly face after so long wandering the darkness. And Zane truly was wonderful, at first. He was funny and creative and handsome and, well… Darling had to admit that he didn’t tend to get quite so much attention normally. Even with his previous partners, he was either ‘a sure thing’ with Trench or just the most convenient person around with Underhill. No one had ever wanted him like Zane did.
Which now was quite the problem.
He had to give it to Zane; the man was just as good of an actor as he bragged. He had fooled Darling completely.
It was subtle, little comments and moments when Zane didn’t pay attention to what he was doing. Times when Casper did things he wouldn’t normally do when Zane asked him to. Darling wasn’t unaware enough to not know that he was often quite easy to manipulate with affection—Zachariah had been a master at it after all—but this was something different. Casper found himself spitting out both personal secrets and those of the FBC at the drop of a hat, revealing his greatest regrets without even thinking about what he was saying. He had hurt himself and others at the slightest glance from his new partner, and the less said about what he’d let Zane do to him, the better.
He’d awoken in Zane’s bed, aching all over and blood still staining his stomach from Zane’s latest ‘film’. The filmmaker in question was out cold next to him, cigarette still smoking in the ashtray to the side of the bed, and the nigh ever-present cocktail had been dropped and soaked into the bedsheets.
He couldn’t remember how he’d gotten here.
Nothing.
A complete blankness for the previous day. Only the few moments after he had gotten out of bed and gotten dressed, then Zane’s wild grin and being kissed.
And then he woke up again, covered in bed and hissing in pain as he dragged himself out of the bed.
Something was wrong here, and while Darling didn’t doubt Zane’s claims of dangerous creatures prowling the world outside of his apartment, the scientist knew he had to try or he was going to be stuck here forever.
Shrugging on his clothes, he found his shoes missing, odd since he was sure he had been wearing them the day before. Checking that Zane was still asleep, he looked at the slow movements of the other’s bare chest. A tug at his heart told him to go back to bed, to return to his lover. At this point, Darling couldn’t tell if those were his own feelings or something Zane had instilled in him. He forced himself to step away, carefully unlocking the apartment door and slipping out into the hotel.
Nothing immediately attacked him, which was one of his greatest worries. Moving through almost identical hallways, he tried to orient himself with the numbers on the apartment doors but quickly realised he was walking in circles. It didn’t take long for him to become completely lost, stalking down hallways that split off into innumerable other hallways. He saw shadows of people, some lunging out at him, most just watching. The bang of a gun many rooms away and growling that shook the walls and floor.
He had resigned himself to never escaping as he turned a corner and there stood a familiar figure in the hallway ahead. Those wild eyes and lazy grin, a curl of smoke from his cigarette wrapping itself into ribbons above him. The other began to walk towards him, no rush to his steps, just the confidence of an animal that cornered its prey.
“My Darling, what are you doing out here? Come on, let's get you home before something monstrous finds you.” Zane clearly found his own words amusing, and Casper couldn’t help himself from backing up. The little part of his brain that cried out for his own self-preservation demanded that he run, but as he turned, he met a wall that was definitely not there a minute ago.
A body, burning hot, pressed him into the wall. A kiss to the back of his neck.
“My silly pet, you didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?”
“Tom? What’s going on? What are you doing?”
“So many questions. I love that about you, Darling.” More peppered kisses to his neck and across his shoulders. And wait? When did he lose his coat and shirt? He tried to pull away, but Zane was just as unforgiving an obstacle as the wall in front of him was. There was something thin and metallic tracing across his back. A swift couple of cuts that oozed blood that felt so very uncomfortable in the cool hotel hallway. Darling stifled his cry, he’d been through worse—he’d agreed to worse.
“Please, Tom, I want to leave… I know you are doing something to me, please let me go.”
Zane sighed into the now damp flesh at Darling’s hairline.
“You always are so smart my dear, I do love it so, but it's just not what I need for this scene, I’m afraid.”
“Wha-?”
The blade tracing patterns into his back left only to be pressed to his stomach as Zane pulled him away from the wall.
“Be good for me Darling; this will only take a moment.”
The blade was dragged up his stomach to his heart, and with a single push, Casper choked out a cry as it was plunged hilt-deep into his chest. Zane cradled him as he fell to the floor, hushing him and kissing his cheeks.
With a gasp of confused fear, Darling woke in a large, blood-soaked bed, disorientated and reaching out for his partner.
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Usher, Solange and Travis Scott Albums Launch Apple Music’s Top 100 Best Albums of All Time list
10-day countdown kicks off today with the reveal of albums 100-91, featuring works from Solange; Tyler, The Creator; George Michael; and more Discover, share, and follow along as Apple Music journeys through the albums that shaped, inspired, and fundamentally changed music. Apple Music today announced the release of its 100 Best Albums of all time, a celebratory list of the greatest records ever made, crafted by Apple Music’s team of experts alongside a select group of artists, including Maren Morris, Pharrell Williams, J Balvin, Charli XCX, Mark Hoppus, Honey Dijon, and Nia Archives, as well as songwriters, producers, and industry professionals. The list is an editorial statement, fully independent of any streaming numbers on Apple Music — a love letter to the records that have shaped the world music lovers live and listen in. Apple Music is bringing its 100 Best Albums to life with a countdown celebration beginning today, revealing 10 albums each day for the next 10 days, along with a brand-new 100 Best microsite, new and exclusive content, dedicated Apple Music Radio episodes, and so much more. The countdown will culminate on the final day with the reveal of Apple Music’s top 10 albums of all time during a broadcast radio special. “100 Best brings together all the things that make Apple Music the ultimate service for music lovers — human curation at its peak, an appreciation for the art of storytelling, and unparalleled knowledge of music and an even deeper love for it,” said Rachel Newman, Apple Music’s senior director of content and editorial. “We have been working on this for a very long time, and it’s something we are all incredibly proud of and excited to share with the world.” “Putting this list together was a true labor of love, both in that it was incredibly difficult to do and in that we are all so passionate about it,” said Zane Lowe, Apple Music’s global creative director and lead anchor for Apple Music 1. “We were tasked with selecting the 100 best — that’s practically mission impossible. But as music fans, it was also amazing to really take a minute and sit and think about the music and albums and artists that we love so much in this context. If this list sparks more debate among fans outside of Apple Music and gets people talking passionately about the music they love, then we’ve done what we set out to do.” Introducing the Top 100 - 91 Albums The first 10 albums, revealed today, offer a glimpse into Apple Music’s unique approach with 100 Best. With seven of the 10 records hailing from the 21st century, two from the 90s, only one from the 70s, and various genres represented, the list spotlights contemporary artists like Tyler, The Creator; Robyn; Lorde; Travis Scott; Solange; Burial; and more who have helped define this century through their music and its influence on others. 100. Body Talk, Robyn99. Hotel California, Eagles98. ASTROWORLD, Travis Scott97. Rage Against the Machine, Rage Against the Machine96. Pure Heroine,Lorde95. Confessions, USHER94. Untrue, Burial93. A Seat at the Table, Solange92. Flower Boy, Tyler, The Creator91.Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1,George Michael “There are so many fun facts for our listeners to discover about these albums,” said Scott Plagenhoef, Apple Music’s global head of music programming. “For example, two of the records revealed today were promoted without the image of the artist, but for opposite reasons — Burial’s Untrue because the artist was still operating anonymously at the time, and George Michael’s Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1 because the artist was actually retreating from fame.” Discover, Learn, and Share with Friends To accompany the list, today Apple Music also revealed a dedicated microsite that will update every day of the countdown, making it easy for listeners to follow along. Available now at 100best.music.apple.com, the new 100 Best microsite spotlights in-depth analysis of each album, archival interviews, and more, and makes it easy for fans to share their favourite albums with friends and on their social channels. Explore records 100-91 of Apple Music’s 100 Best Albums at 100best.music.apple.com. Follow Along on Apple Music Radio Fans will also be treated to a full 100 Best Albums Radio takeover on Apple Music Hits, where round-the-clock specials with Apple Music Radio hosts and daily specials at 9 a.m. PT (noon ET) will be broadcasted, plus exclusive content will drop every day on demand on Apple Music and Apple Podcasts. The last 10 albums will be revealed on Wednesday, May 22, with a special roundtable discussion broadcasting globally on Apple Music that features guest artists Nile Rodgers and Maggie Rogers reflecting on the list alongside Apple Music’s own Zane Lowe and Ebro Darden. Lowe will also curate a special mashup-style DJ mix featuring songs from all 100 Best Albums. Apple Music will keep the momentum going after the countdown ends with an additional week of 100 Best Albums Radio takeover on Apple Music Hits. All 100 Best Albums recipients will be given an award comprised of blasted anodized aluminum, sourced entirely from recycled Apple products, in a unique polished PVD gold. The design on the back of the award takes its cues from a vinyl LP record and is inscribed with the artist’s name, the album title, and the album’s year of release. Explore Apple Music’s 100 Best Albums at 100best.music.apple.comand check back daily to discover the full list. Get exclusive content by following @AppleMusic on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and X. Read the full article
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Merry Christmas your arse
Originally published on Facebook on this date in 2012. **********
As many of you know, I do a radio show. Every year I dutifully pull out my shopping bag of Christmas music, which I keep segregated in a corner of a closet, and attempt to compile a few sets of Yuletide music for my listeners who may go for that sort of thing. But there's only one song I spin every year: "Fairytale of New York," from the Pogues' 1988 album "If I Should Fall From Grace With God."
It's always seemed, to me, a perfect Christmas song, though it begins in an NYPD drunk tank. It manages an extraordinary feat: It is sentimental and unsentimental at the same time, romantic without ignoring the contusions that romance scores on us all (in what other Christmas tune can you hear someone call their loved one "a bum, a maggot...a cheap lousy faggot?"), celebrating the holiday while acknowledging the disorder and gloom that sometimes settles on celebrants at this time of year. As a composition, its melodic beauty never fails to captivate me. The performance is full of zest (especially in the lilt of its tin whistle), and the orchestral swell at the end always creates a palpable feeling of being uplifted.
The song was a lovely vocal collaboration between the Pogues' bibulous lead singer Shane MacGowan and Kirsty MacColl, daughter of the English folk icon Ewan MacColl and a U.K. star in her own right. So realistic and effective is their give-and-take on the song that if you didn't know it, you'd never believe the pair of them were not actually involved in a relationship. MacColl's turn, which plays in sweet counterpoint to MacGowan's drunken catarrh, is especially splendid, a poised mixture of affection and bile. ("Happy Christmas your arse.")
The song is probably best known visually from its original black-and-white video, but this live performance from 1988, filmed before a vocal audience, is the most winning version I've seen:
youtube
This wonderful 2006 BBC documentary about the song also serves as a hip-pocket history of the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, who was killed in a 2000 boating accident. It's very funny and revealing; it's in six parts, so follow the adjacent links: [video now unavailable; thanks Warner Music Group.]
The original video is linked in this recent story about "Fairytale" in the Guardian by the fine British writer Dorian Lynskey:
I never get tired of "Fairytale of New York." It's a part of the fabric of this maddening holiday, which calls up so many conflicting emotions in me -- sadness, longing, remembrances of drunken Christmases past, a kind of spiritual craving, and even sometimes a sort of disjointed joy. My mother died two days after Christmas a few years back; I never had the chance to play this song for her, and don't know if she was aware of it, but I think she probably would have appreciated it.
In October six years ago, my younger son Zane sat in with his brother-in-law's band the Filthy Thieving Bastards at a gig by the reunited Pogues at the Fillmore in San Francisco. I flew up to attend the show, and Zane and I sat in the VIP section when the Pogues performed.
They played "Fairytale of New York," with the young daughter of Jem Finer, who co-wrote the song with MacGowan, taking MacColl's part. During the song's climax, as fake snow drifted down from the ceiling, MacGowan soddenly swept her into his arms and slowly danced with her like a drunken bear. It was one of the greatest things I've ever seen on a stage. I was on verge of tears. [here's video of Shane and Ella Finer performing the song in 2012:] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh6-aD-Cc0
"Fairytale of New York" perfectly defines my Christmas every year. Perhaps it does yours as well. Merry Christmas to all (especially to my boys Max and Zane). May the wind be always at your back, and hopefully you won't spend tonight in the drunk tank.
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AHH!! MINE WAS A LIL BIT OF A MESS (had a rly bad storm and another tornado watch :(. shelter in place at work 🙃. BUT WE GOT THROUGH IT! SO ITS GOOD NOW!!)
omg. THATS LOW KEY WHAT I THOUGHT TOO!! I FEEL LIKE ITS SUCH A COMBINATION OF SLING AND IMMUNITY. the percussion reminds me of something on immunity yet the vocals feel soft and soothing like on sling!! its the BEST. i absolutely adore it.
if the entire album is similar i will be in absolute love because woah. the style feels very her and the entire sound of it, i really like it. the album era is going to be amazing. i can feel it!!
i love the descriptive imagery with lyrics like that- BUT also i swear i feel like this song is like a selfcare vibe (like sling!!!! how she was learning to take care of herself + the immunity undertone!!!)
omg dont even get me started on billie's new album bc im OBSESSED. its literally so good and my friends probably are so annoyed by how much i keep talking about lunch 😭 /lh.
one of the reasons i couldnt get back to you abt sling and my thoughts on it. kept jumping between them both. (i had to sit with sling for a bit to let things sink in because i was listening to it but i wasnt processing it fully.)
anyway im in love with billies new album and i swear its her best work to date. she just keeps getting better with each album. i love that with how this album was, each track feels like very unique and yet cohesive in their own right. its meant to be listened to as a whole (but can be separated). i loveeeee album cohesiveness and song transitions that blend so into one another.
i listened to the apple music interview she did with zane lowe(?) and her brother about the album. hearing her perspective on the whole writing process being WAY different from the past and claiming happier than ever was almost like an identity crisis lengthwise with the 16 tracks. - aparently she doesn't like it much that way EVEN though i and others think its so beautiful. yes i do see the identity crisis however, but she was very much thrusted into fame with when we all fall and so she was trying to recreate a version of herself that would please others and herself because she was a kid in an adult world. i hate how mean people were abt her body :(.
anyway it was very experimental, even still!! a risk. billie had said that hit me hard and soft was like happier than ever but like it HAD an identity. it feels as experimental and fun as when we all fall... come to find out too how much of billie is IN THE album WITH HER ideas. her brother stepping back to let her experiment. its a risk but i think she did utterly fantastic. mature in hindsight with her outlook (SKINNY) and reflecting so much on the experiences.
arguably i think what she went through between when we fall verses happier than ever allowed her to innovate her sound/style but i still dont think she at all deserved such harshness.
i think the challenge allowed for realistic reflection. kind of how between 1989 and reputation taylor swift disappeared due to the critics abt her making a pop record. sometimes artists need to go through harsh things for that reflection in order to make a body of work that utterly fucking BLOWS all expectations out of the water!!! (she still didn't deserve the comments and i hate that she did but i hope that makes sense? i think the criticism allowed for reflection in a way to reinvent herself - which is somewhat of the identity crisis billie touched on with 16 songs.)
with how hit me hard and soft is, i definitely feel like its just such an improvement. an impressive one at that because 10 songs but all being so unique? incredible.
sorry ahh i can go SO on and will tell u my thoughts on sling more later but i feel like this is a REALLY long reply so ill leave it here. im just REALLY proud of her.
my favs r lunch, the greatest, birds of a feather (has been growing on me), blue, the diner, chihiro- okay the whole album. the only one i really skip is wildflower (the buildup is a BIT slow but its really good too. jst OW lyrics </3.)
what r ur favs?????? im literally so obsessed.
hi friend!!!! i hope your day is well!!
thoughts on clairo's new single??? :D
HELLO FRIEND!!! THANK YOU IT IS I HOPE YOURS IS TOO!!!
eeekeeekekekeekekek. okay so i woke up this morning listened to it in bed and instantly. I loved it because.
FIRST OF ALL THE INSTRUMENTALS ARE SO NICE AND WARM. and also the sound in general is sooo good because it’s like the perfect mix of immunity and sling. it is sling enough that it might be able to fit on the album but not really because it has that immunity undertone you know.
SECOND OF ALL the beat. is so good. and i really love her voice in this and how she sort of morphed it into a long autotuney sound at the end of the verses because I love love love stuff like that in songs (like in billie’s new album which I am In Love with)!!!!!!
THIRD OF ALL THE LYRICS. they are soooooooooooooooooooooo. yes. mostly mentioning this just because of this line:
because I am a sucker for words like honey and sugar 🍯 also I really love the lyrics because I kind of very really resonate with them because. yes and also I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THE ALLITERATION IN THE TITLE WITH LIKE SEXY TO SOMEOJEI LOVE WHEN SONG TITLES SOUND LIKE. YEAH
#its like without that criticism we wouldnt have gotten happier than ever -> that then wouldve never given the stepping stone toward hit me#so like without one she wouldnt have gotten to what hit me hard IS#does that make sense???#reblogging text
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"mr, smith? whos these people in the photo, they looks like ninjas" Boah asked looking up at kai who held the picture in his hands a small smile on his face "these where my friends. They where heros. The greatest heros ever, yes they where ninjas but they where still kind." Kai sighed "Where are they now?" "i dont know, kid. im not sure if all of them are even alive. But i do know Someone who is." " Dear zane, its been far too long since i left. How has your time been going? Im thinking the others already has passed away. cole might still be alive unless he fully disappeared due to the soul loss thing. But thats not why you have this letter... All i wanted to say was, sorry." Zane read up from a letter and smiled a little "Kai.. im just happy to know you're alive."
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TØP Weekly Update #142: A Formidable Album (5/21/21)
So... how 'bout that album release week?
There's so much to cover; the release of nine new songs, the hype that's building for the World's Best Band to return to the stage, and (if we're able to come up for air) the massive speculation of what the future brings for our band.
I'm gonna get right into it, laying out my thoughts regarding this bold new album and covering all the most notable news from the week. I'll be sharing my (mostly) positive opinions about Scaled and Icy under the Read More line; I hope they're the start of a fun conversation with all of y'all who have stuck around through this last year.
Scaled and Icy Review
First, my general thoughts on the album: It's good! Really good. Do I think it's a no-skip like Vessel or a cohesive piece of art like Trench? Absolutely not! But it's also not the potential misfire that I worried that we might be getting when I first heard "Saturday" (more on that later); I think all of the songs are at least good, and some of them are downright great tracks that hold up with anything else that our band has ever released. It is also indisputably very different, but I think that generally works pretty well. Many of the songs evoke '60s rock or Britpop sounds and structures that you can tell Tyler is still trying to navigate, but I think he does a very solid job at adapting them to suit his strengths- namely his lyricism and knack for melody- rather than change to suit them. Unfortunately, this does result in a bit of square-peg-in-round-hole syndrome at times; most of the rap verses on the album feel like they're here just to fulfill an obligation to fans who would be mad if they weren't here, and most of the songs that use them are the weakest ones in the project.
"Good Day" plays a major role in getting the rest of the album to work as well as it does. Its gradual ramp-up, introducing the sound that will be used throughout the rest of the album. Its playfulness belies its message about how one can project a somewhat false optimism for oneself in the midst of tragedy: the type of dark stuff in a bright package that Tyler is so so good at. It's perhaps not an instant classic, but I am excited to see how it comes across when it's eventually used as a show-opener. 9/10
I've of course already discussed "Shy Away"; an anthemic, inimitably catchy track that I just wish had a bit more going on under the hood. Still going to be so good to hear thousands of voices scream "An 'I LOVE YOU' that isn't words!" someday. 9.5/10
"Choker" definitely took a little bit to grow on me. I think part of that was a bit of disappointment from over-inflated expectations and the environment I was in when I first heard it. With further listens, I fall more and more in love with the melody of the song... well, most of it. Like the rest of this album, the biggest weakness in the song is when Tyler tries to tick the box of having a rap verse; it just feels really out of place, unfinished, and almost amateurish, and it doesn't end the song on the note that it really should. Without it, it'd be one of my favorites on the album; with it, "Choker" is a solid 8.5/10.
Speaking of unfinished-sounding songs really hurt by their rap verse: "The Outside". There's a definite something to the vibe of the song, but that seemingly nonsensical verse is one of the two weakest parts of the entire project for me. The way the song meanders only adds to the feeling that there wasn't as much energy and attention paid to it compared to other parts of the project. It's pretty easily my least favorite track on Scaled and Icy, and the only one I might regularly skip. I've also seen plenty of people saying it's the best song on the album, so please tell me why I'm wrong! 6.5/10
"Saturday", as mentioned above, had me really nervous about this album. Like "Choker", it's grown on me a bit since I first heard it, in part because it fits better with the context of the rest of the album. However, this one really does feel undercooked lyrically and overreliant on the novelty of using a disco-inspired sound that seems to chase trends more than almost any other TØP track. The inclusion of that very sweet audio clip from Jenna boosts the song in some ways, but also adds to the disappointment in others; there are many other songs on this project that would be more worth surrendering time watching Friends. Thankfully, those come next. 7/10
"Never Take It" is fascinating. I never thought I'd hear a Rolling Stones-style song from Tyler Joseph featuring a gd guitar solo of all things, and it actually sounds pretty great. However, I also predict that this song will see some of the greatest critical scrutiny out of all the songs on the album. The lyrics seem to be Tyler's criticism of the media for playing up division in our society, but he's extremely vague when discussing which entities are spreading said division and ultimately recommends that people "educate yourself, but never too much". I'll be honest: maybe it's the fact that it sounds like something my dad would listen to, but it feels like this would get tons of play on Fox News. Since it makes specific reference to the events of last summer, it's hard not to feel like song is at least partially inspired by Tyler's brush with cancellation last year. Maybe I'm reading too deeply into it, but those reservations come from the song's lack of specificity, which is an issue of songwriting more than politics. They hold me back from truly loving a song that still manages to be one of the most exciting the band has ever put out. 8.5/10
"Mulberry Street" seems like the perfect realization of the entire album's intended tone. It is so pleasant, so lush while also simply produced, full of great lyrics, metaphors, and imagery. It really brings the whole project together, even if it's missing That One Line to really move this up to the top tier of the canon. 9.5/10
"Formidable" is the best song on the album and one of two songs I would truly rank in the top tier of the band's canon. Extremely pleasant and brimming with well-crafted lines to make your heart swoon. Jenna (and Rosie) is (are) a lucky gal(s). Or is it about Josh? Who's to say? 10/10
"Bounce Man" is just plain wild. I think Tyler's smuggling someone to Mexico to escape the feds? The playfulness of it all really covers up any frustration I might have with the clarity; it makes it clear that there's not really stakes here, just vibes. 8.5/10
"No Chances" sees the album take a turn that I'm sure the Reddit Clique is going to have an absolute field day with; it and "Redecorate" both sound quite different from the rest of the album and evoke enough elements of Trench to make me think that's it's actually possible that all this 'SAI is Propaganda' stuff might actually have something to it... until I actually pick apart the lyrics, then I'm even more confused. The song has some of the best rapping on the album, though that's not saying much (the feng shui line is a groaner right out the gate) and the gentle pre-chorus is really pleasant. I still haven't made up my mind on whether the chorus is effective or just plain goofy. This one might get worse or better on repeat listens, impossible to say for now. 7.5/10
"Redecorate" rounds out the album by opening with a Clancy quote (Tyler, you bastard), firmly setting this as a coda to Trench more than the album we just listened to. The rest of the song is really storytelling, with Tyler describing a bunch of people who are struggling deeply. The idea of "redecorating" here stands for how they are faced with the option to clean and resort their own spaces and lives or leave that to their loved ones to do after they're gone. By the time it gets to the album's name drop, you begin to wonder how much of this is potential autobiographical of the last year. It's moving stuff, a callback to some of the great strengths of the band's discography. 10/10
If I average those scores all up, this project ranks below almost every album among the Pilots discography on my rating scale, very narrowly edging out Self-Titled. That's still a very solid 8.6. Scaled and Icy is a very good album on first listen. We'll see how I feel about it after having a little more time to sit with it, but I've rambled enough: let's move through the rest of the week's news.
Other News
Of course, there was a lot else going on this week! To accompany the release of "Saturday", Zane Lowe over at Apple Music dropped an interview with Tyler. As usual, Zane did a pretty solid job of getting to the heart of the craft and the creation process. However, Tyler also wound up skirting a lot of the questions to just talk more about how much he loves being a dad, which makes me happy; if the cost of getting a little less attention and mental energy devoted to the music is that little girl getting all of his attention, that's honestly preferable for me.
The album rollout is not even close to over. Later today, the concert will be streamed live. It's our first real performance that we've gotten from the band since 2019, but the previews that we've seen have completely exceeded any of my expectations, and really anything that we've seen from the band. It appears that they've transformed the entire arena (which I think is the ol' Schott at Ohio State) into a whole TØP world, with different sets laden with Easter eggs and a cast of backup dancers. If the website can hold up to the traffic (and I acknowledge that might be a big ask), this could really live up to Tyler's promise of this being the best livestreamed concert ever.
Oh, and this guy dyed his hair pink.
What a time to be a fan. Catch you all tomorrow.
Power to the local dreamer.
|-/
#twenty one pilots#scaled and icy#tyler joseph#josh dun#good day#shy away#choker#the outside#saturday#never take it#mulberry street#formidable#bounce man#no chances#redecorate#top weekly update
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As in Lonesome South
Summary: After returning to Ninjago from that Lighthouse prison, Dr. Julien decides it's time for him and his son to move on.
Warnings: Dr. Julien is not a good dad. Memory alteration and Controlling behavior. ask to tag? Pairing: gen Wordcount:1700 A/N: The name for this fic comes from Hillbilly Man by Gorillaz lol
Packing up his meager room is not a difficult feat, Dr. Julien is glad to note, even in his advanced age. He doesn’t have many belongings now, his life spread out across Ninjago and across the sea, the things left behind and abandoned worthless in his eyes now that he’s been reunited with his son. His greatest creation. It’s not as if he couldn’t stop by that ancient bunker out in Birchwood Forest and gather up his old blueprints, maybe pick up projects left half-finished as his hands wrinkled and gave out, but there’s a clean and simple sort of appeal to a fresh start. Out with the old, in with the new. He had time to start again now. He and Zane could travel down to the outskirts of Metalonia, there’s raw materials there, new construction. Its growing fast with the upcoming tech giant Borg Industries basing it’s manufacturing plants in the heart of the city. It’s an easy place to get lost in, an old man and his son blending in with the crowd, a perfect spot to camp out at and get back to work inventing something new. Something to show up all those slip-shod messes he’d slapped together to appease Samukai.
In a way though, he can’t help but be grateful to the skulkin and his cronies. Without the elixir of life they’d handed him, without the resurrection tea poured down his throat, he’d have been lost years ago. The gift they’d given him had come with a price, seasons passing wondering if his son was safe out in the world without him, stuck up in that lighthouse tinkering away at inventions he felt no passion for. All alone except for the silly little bots he cooked up in his spare time. Now thought, free from the sea salt and stone, he had time laid ahead and a million projects he thought he’d never have the years for suddenly at his fingertips. Zane was his life’s work, and he’d turned out wonderfully. What could he do now, with another life to dedicate?
Organizing his meager things, he pulls out a duffle bag from the School's storage with DARKLEYS slapped on the side, not quite dusty but on its way there with the rebranding they were undergoing. Gutting the School’s unsavory past and installing a new, more healthy learning environment was a big endeavor for the ninja, especially since they wouldn’t be able to rely on his son to help pull it off. He and Zane pitched in when they could, helping repaint, clean up, and discuss a new curriculum, but it was a shame they’d never get to see it come to fruition. It reminded him of his days teaching to pay the bills while he chased his masters degree, there was a comforting nostalgia he almost didn’t want to leave. A shame it was time to go. Zane might have been a good teacher, too, if given the chance- he was as smart as his old man sometimes! Remarkably patient too, always willing to try and talk it out and find the best in people. Too bad. Maybe they could come back and visit, if work didn’t get too busy. He wouldn’t mind getting into the swing of things and whipping up a lecture for the kiddos. He could decide all that later, though. Now it was time to pack. He shakes out the bag and stacks his items neatly inside: a few notebooks of ideas he’d already cooked up, spare clothes Zane and Sensei Wu had graciously paid for, a few old books from the Library he was positive no one would miss. He was even sure to grab a copy of Zanes old favorites, maybe he’d like to read them again when they got settled. He made a mental note to grab his toothbrush and comb from the bathroom before they departed, puttering about his meager living accommodations to make sure he hadn’t missed anything.
The room itself was a modest little thing, an old student live-in dorm repurposed into more permanent lodging for himself and Zanes other team members. They were nice, a bit more long-term than he thinks Master Wu is willing to admit, but Dr. Julien found them quite cosy. Though anything was a step up from that damp and dreary prison he’d been locked in. He’d always loved the beach, but if he never smelled salt water ever again it’d be a blessing… He frowns, stepping over to the map spread out across his tiny desk, mapping out a possible route down to Metalonia. Sticking to the outskirts would take them closer to the coast, but setting up shop in town might bring unwanted attention. It could be worth it to take the longer route along the east if he really wanted to avoid the sea… it’d put him close to Ignacia, but it might work.
There’s a knock on the door, bright and sharp, and Dr. Julien isn’t surprised when he hurries over and opens the door to his son on the other side, “Zane!” He greets warmly, ignoring the troubled look on his face and pulling him into an embrace, “Have you finished packing yet?” He asks, breaking away.
“That is what I came to speak to you about.” Zane says hesitantly as his father begins to tidy up the room, closing the door behind him for privacy despite the others doing their best to give them space and clearing out for this conversation, “Father, we have discussed this, I…” He frowns openly, “I do not wish to leave.”
Julien stops where he’s folding up his map, staring up at his son with a scrutinizing look, “Zane, I thought you said you didn’t want to be separated from me again? Are you feeling alright, son? Come here, let me check.” He beckons Zane over as he tucks the map into his coat pocket, moving out of the way so he can sit on the edge of the mattress for a diagnostic.
Zane obliges on instinct alone, sitting down, “I am fine, Father,” He says, moving his gi aside to open his chest panel anyway, “And I do not want to be apart, which is why I think you should stay.” Dr. Julien moves to sit next to his son, running a quick inspection of Zanes internal wiring as he speaks, and Zane zeroes in on the way he collapses onto the bed- his knees aren’t what they used to be, “At your age, you shouldn’t be traveling anyways.” He says, obviously trying to be gentle.
Dr. Julien laughs, smiling up at his son as he shifts through the mechanics in a confident routine so familiar it came second nature, memories of them going through these exact motions surfacing faintly, “You don’t need to worry about me, Zane, I have plenty of time left. The ressurectea has given me another lifetime, and I want to spend it with you. It could be like it was before, just the two of us. I was happy.” He examines the connection points on his switchboard, making sure they’re all attached properly, “Weren’t you?”
“Of course!” Zane says instantly, cupping his father's hands to send the confirmation home, “I love you, and I’ve missed you ever since I got my memories back.”
“But now you want to go our separate ways?” He squeezes Zanes fingers, before letting go, going back to his ministrations inside his chest to distract himself, “You and I are family, Zane. I’m disappointed you want me to spend my final years alone.”
Zane shrinks, curling in on himself at those words. Dr. Julien has to hold onto the door of his chest panelling so he won’t pull away too far, where he can’t complete his check-up, “I don’t. I am sorry.”
“Come with me.” He insists, smiling up at Zane as if to say all will be forgiven. They would be, these moments of hesitance. He could let them go.
The checkup is comfortingly familiar, but Zane shakes his head, “My friends are here, they are my family too. I cannot leave- I have responsibilities. I am the white ninja, I am protecting people who cannot protect themselves. Is that not what you wanted?” his vocal processor goes small at the end, soft and uncertain.
“It is, and you’ve done a great job. I’m so proud of you, but now it is time for us to move on to better things… You’re my son, Zane. My greatest creation. I love you, and I won’t leave here without you.” Dr. Julien trains his eyes on his inner workings, his hands stilling, a slight nod as a silent decision is made.
“And I am not leaving.” He says firmly, his own decision giving his words strength, then, “Will you stay?” Zane’s voice has the slightest hint of hope, complex emotions coming so easily now that he’s lived a long and complex life. A shame to lose all that progress.
He sighs deeply, a sad put-upon thing, “No, Zane.” and there’s no need to elaborate.
He watches his facial expression as he does it, half a second of shock and raw hurt, a snap of devastation and fear before his mechanics register that the memory switch has been flipped, the click of it near deafening in the room- the expression vanishes, his wide eyes go glassy and half-lidded and his jaw clenches shut, his body locking and freezing as he goes into limbo. Shoulder stiffly casual, his hands dropping into his lap where they’d made a last-ditch attempt to stop this and stalling short, sitting open and useless on his thighs. All at once his humanity is stripped from him, leaving him a blank canvas, empty and waiting for either a reboot or specific command. He was his son. He was his creation. He was his.
Dr. Julien closes up his chest panel calmly, tying his suit back up properly. He’d need new clothes, these would make him ask questions when he reset him. Dr. Julien didn’t want questions. He didn’t want refusals.
“Come now, Zane.” He says, tapping the nindroid on his forehead, watching those hazy eyes try to focus while in forced stasis. There’s nothing behind his eyes, no recognition other than the need to obey that has been programmed into him, “Follow me. It’s time for us to go.”
Zane carries his bag as they walk right out the front door.
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5 underrated Richard Donner movies you need to see
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Richard Donner will forever be remembered as the filmmaker who created the blueprint for the modern superhero blockbuster with 1978’s Superman starring Christopher Reeve.
Yet that doesn’t tell even half the story of the Bronx-born filmmaker’s brilliant filmography.
Donner was in his late 40s by the time Superman came along, having made a name for himself in Hollywood two years earlier, with 1976’s suitably terrifying The Omen.
Prior to that, he was a budding director making the transition from the small screen to the world of cinema. Donner worked on everything from Gilligan’s Island to The Twilight Zone. Even then, it was clear he was destined for bigger things though, as anyone who saw “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”, the iconic episode of The Twilight Zone he directed, starring William Shatner, can attest.
While a disagreement with producers ultimately saw him walk away from Superman II, the 1980s saw Donner establish himself as an incredibly versatile big budget director capable of handling everything from the epic family adventure fun of The Goonies to the balancing act of action and comedy found within the buddy cop antics of Lethal Weapon.
It was a skillset that drew admiration from the very best in the movie industry, including Steven Spielberg who was among the first to pay tribute to Donner after learning he had passed away, aged 91.
“Dick had such a powerful command of his movies, and was so gifted across so many genres,” Spielberg, who worked with Donner on The Goonies, said.
“Being in his circle was akin to hanging out with your favourite coach, smartest professor, fiercest motivator, most endearing friend, staunchest ally, and – of course – the greatest Goonie of all.”
Donner may not have had the same impact in the 1990s and early 2000s but he still enjoyed major success with the Lethal Weapon franchise and as a producer with movies like Free Willy and X-Men.
More importantly, the other films he made during that period and in the years between some of his biggest hits remain well worth revisiting or seeking out for the first time – starting with these five.
Ladyhawke
Coming hot on the heels of The Goonies and two years prior to Lethal Weapon, Ladyhawke represented another major departure for Donner. A dark medieval fantasy, it centred on Rutger Hauer’s mysterious Captain Etienne Navarre and his female companion Lady Isabeau (Michelle Pfeiffer), a pair of star-crossed lovers on the run from a vengeful bishop who has placed a demonic curse on their heads. While Navarre transforms into a wolf by night, Isabeau exists as a Hawk by day. Teaming up with petty thief Philippe Gaston (Matthew Broderick) they embark on a quest to overthrow the evil bishop and break the spell.
Something of a passion project, Donner had attempted to get Ladyhawke off the ground several times before finally getting the green light from Warner Bros and 20th Century Fox in the mid ’80s. The film then suffered another setback when Kurt Russell, originally cast as Navarre, dropped out during rehearsals.
That ultimately proved a blessing in disguise with Hauer going on to deliver arguably his best performance since Blade Runner. Not everything about Ladyhawke works – Broderick’s character feels a little too close to Ferris Bueller while the runtime could be trimmed down – but it remains a beautifully realised fantasy epic, full of memorable action set pieces, stunning cinematography and a spellbinding turn from Pfeiffer.
A box office bomb upon release, Ladyhawke has stood the test of time too, garnering a cult following as an authentic and fresh take on the sword and sorcery formula.
Maverick
Maverick is the film Will Smith must have hoped Wild Wild West would be; a funny, clever action comedy based on a classic TV show. Coming in an era when most westerns were deadly serious, Donner’s film also felt like a breath of fresh air and benefited hugely from a masterful William Goldman script that was both witty and unpredictable.
The latest in a series of films featuring Donner’s muse-of-sorts, Mel Gibson, this time out Mel plays Bret Maverick, a brilliant card player and equally impressive con artist trying to collect enough money to earn a seat at a high-stakes poker game. Along the way he is forced to contend with a fellow scammer in the form of Jodie Foster’s Annabelle Bransford as well as lawman Marshal Zane Cooper, played by James Garner, who starred in the original TV series.
While the glut of cameos from country music stars and the likes of Danny Glover can be a little distracting, there’s something wonderfully charming about Maverick with Gibson, Foster and Garner all on top form and boasting an undeniable chemistry that helps keep things entertaining.
The climactic poker game which sees Maverick face off against Alfred Molina’s psychopathic Angel is also expertly handled by Donner, who cranks up the tension as Maverick reveals his final, decisive, hand with a slow-motion toss of the final card towards the camera. A critical and financial success, Maverick has been largely lost in the shuffle since its release but should be sought out.
Conspiracy Theory
There’s something strangely prescient about Conspiracy Theory given the current predilection for such thinking on the internet at large. One of Donner’s most inventive and intelligent outings alongside Gibson, this time out Mel plays Jerry Fletcher, a New York City cab driver with a penchant for paranoid conspiracy theories.
Jerry’s life takes a turn for the strange when he finds himself being targeted by a set of shady government goons led by Patrick Stewart’s Dr Jonas. He quickly realises one of the conspiracies he has been promoting in his weekly newsletter (this was the ‘90s) is based more in reality than he thought. The question is: which one?
An engrossing thriller featuring Donner’s trademark dashes of witty humour, Conspiracy Theory is bolstered significantly by the presence of the ever-reliable Julia Roberts as a government lawyer with a soft spot for Jerry. Despite a lengthy run time, Donner also keeps the action moving along at an engaging pace while Gibson’s performance is just the right side of manic to keep you rooting for him.
A first foray into the kind of deep state conspiracy thrillers that were commonplace in Hollywood at the time, the film also boasts some genuinely striking moments, not least the sequence where Jerry undergoes “psychotic testing” at the hands of Dr Jonas, which wouldn’t have looked out of place in A Clockwork Orange.
Though it was a hit with audiences, Conspiracy Theory earned mixed reviews but appears increasingly worthy of reappraisal.
Timeline
Some movies are big, dumb but lots of fun. Timeline sits firmly in that category despite what many naysayers would have you believe. It’s a brash, simplistic sci-fi flick to rival the likes of The Core and Geostorm and thoroughly entertaining to boot.
The fact that it features Gerard Butler, as well as the late, great, Paul Walker only adds to that sentiment.
Walker plays Chris Johnston who, along with Butler’s Andre Marek and a team of fellow archaeologists travel back in time through a wormhole to 14th century France to rescue their professor, Dr Edward Johnston (Billy Connolly), who just happens to be Walker’s character’s dad too.
Based on a book by Michael Crichton, Donner had been in the running to direct Jurassic Park a decade earlier and jumped at the chance to adapt Timeline for the big screen. While filming went off without a hitch, Donner repeatedly clashed with Paramount Pictures in post-production and was forced to re-cut the film three times in a development that saw the release date pushed by nearly a year. The resulting edit did not sit well with Crichton either, who disliked it so intensely he stopped licensing his work for a few years after.
Whether Donner’s original cut would have earned better reviews or Crichton’s approval remains to be seen but what remains of Timeline is still a well shot, enjoyable sci-fi yarn with some neat medieval action flourishes.
16 Blocks
Donner’s final film also ranks among his most unappreciated. On the surface, 16 Blocks sounds like the perfect fodder for a game of buddy cop movie bingo.
It stars Bruce Willis as Jack Mosley, a worn-out NYPD Detective with a drinking problem tasked with transporting Mos Def’s trial witness Eddie Bunker to court. Problems arise when some of Jack’s fellow officers arrive to kill Eddie and prevent him from testifying. Eager for redemption, Jack decides to take the would-be assassins on and get Eddie to court on time.
A formulaic enough premise, 16 Blocks is emboldened by the fact it plays out in real-time with Eddie required at the courthouse by no later than 10am. In this sense, Donner found himself in new territory with an action thriller that thrives on a unique sense of urgency.
While the filmmaker is no stranger to the action formula, this setup sees him imbue events with a renewed sense of chaos, as Jack and Eddie fight their way through armed adversaries, busy crowds and bustling traffic, all against a cacophony of shouts, car horns and gun blasts.
Ostensibly a chase movie on foot rather than four wheels, the action traverses 16 blocks in 118 minutes and rarely lets up for a second with Donner proving a dab hand at balancing the action with the engaging back-and-forth between Willis and Def who are both understated yet effective throughout.
cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });
Throw in the ever-watchable David Morse as the leader of the shady cops baying for Eddie’s blood and you have arguably one of the most underrated action thrillers of the early 2000s
The post 5 underrated Richard Donner movies you need to see appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3AA61tK
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Lloyd getting out of control due to his Oni blood and the ninja being scared?
oH ITS ON (sorry for any typos btw it’s about 1:30 am but i really felt like writing)
warning for violence btw
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Lloyd normally wasn't the type to lose control over his emotions. He really wasn't. All the years of keeping his feelings to himself had made it easier to just not let others see what was going on inside him.
But this-
This was different.
Because if there was one thing Lloyd despised over everything it was being compared to his father. And when this wannabe-criminal told him that he was just as bad as his father and that they were both failures - Garmadon for losing against his son and Lloyd for just simply existing - something inside of him snapped.
Something dangerous.
The Green Ninja had never experienced anger like this before. It was like it completely consumed his body and mind and his vision was blurred.
"I am not like my father!", his voice came out louder than he had intended but under his blurred vision he could see the criminal taking a step back from the Ninja in shock at his sudden outburst and that made him almost crack a smile.
"Woah, Lloyd calm down.", he could hear Kai's worried voice behind him and the Blonde was about to scream because if there was one thing he was not going to do it was to calm down.
He had done so much for Ninjago. Saved it so many times, sacrificed basically everything for it and he was still being compared to his evil father? Was that his thanks for everything he went through for this shithole of a city?
'If they want evil they will get evil.'
Lloyd felt a sudden urge to just grab the man by his throat and break his neck right now and there. Ending his life in mere seconds. But what would be the fun in that? No, he had to make him suffer for even thinking that he was the same as his father because he was not. He was good!
He barely noticed how his legs carried him over to the slightly smaller and in tattoos covered male until he was standing right in front of him, grabbing him by the throat just staring into his terrified eyes. A smirk crept on his lips.
"Dude, chill out!" Cole called from behind him and Lloyd turned around to face him, not letting go of the criminal.
The face's his teammates made were priceless, he found it hard not to chuckle. Taking a few steps towards him but being held back my Nya, Jay spoke to him.
"What- what is happening to you?", his voice was full anxiety and panic and Lloyd snorted.
"Stop bothering me and let me do what I need to do right now.", he drew his attention back to the man he was still holding and threw him to the ground, wincing in pain because of the harsh contact with the floor, making Lloyd's smirk only grow wider in response.
"You- you're a bloody ps-psychopath!", he stuttered crawling slowly away from him but the Master of Energy was having none of that.
"Oh, already want to leave the party?", he pulled out his katana from the bag on his back and eyed it for a second. "I don't think so.", he said coldly crashing the sword down on the man's shin, piercing him to the ground.
He heard his friends calling out to him in shock and despair but their words were completely buried by the sound of the man's screams.
It sounded like music in his ears. And he was currently dancing to it, not wanting it to end.
He kneeled next to him and just watched him cry for a second. It made him feel happy in some sort of way.
"This is what you get for comparing me to Garmadon.", he growled, now taking out a dagger. "So don't. You. Dare. Do. It. Again.", he growled again, placing cuts on the lawbreakers body in between each word, his voice not sounding like his own anymore almost like it was demonic.
The man kept on screaming and begging for him to stop, pleading for the Ninja to help him but none of them were able to move, too shocked at the sight of their little brother behaving so- so vicious. It was terrifying.
This wasn't Lloyd, they knew this wasn't him, couldn't be him. Lloyd was a good person. Kind-hearted, loving, selfless, loyal and most definitely not an evil psychopath.
This was the boy they had raised together. Their little baby brother. But right now they couldn't recognize him- couldn't see him.
“But it's not like you could do anything like that again anyway.”, Lloyd mumbled to himself shrugging a bit while letting the dagger draw softly over the criminal's face without cutting it. “Since you won't be doing anything ever again. Because you wanna hear a secret?”, the Blonde's mood changed suddenly as he tilted his head a bit and looked at the man with almost completely innocent and curious eyes.
The man bit his lip in pain but managed to get a silent 'what?' out.
Lloyd grinned widely, showing his fangs and began to laugh. “Oh isn't it obvious?”, he leaned forward to his ears before whispering “I will kill you.” making chills go down the villains body.
He sat up straight again.
“Do you hear that?”, he asked him looking at his in blood covered dagger and then focusing right back on his face with wide and curious eyes.
“Hear wh-what?”
“The blood rushing out of your throat?”, before the man could choke out a word and before the Ninja could anything to stop their brother from making a huge mistake Lloyd had already rammed his dagger into his throat making blood splatter everywhere including his face.
Screams echoed through the entire alley.
And all of a sudden everything began to clear up.
His vision and his thoughts.
He felt reality hit him.
Looking down at his hands and then the man laying on the ground, dead, covered in blood and with the dagger Lloyd's father had given him on his 13thbirthday he felt like he was going to throw up.
Crawling away from the body he felt a wave of nausea hit him and couldn't help but release the insides of his stomach on the dirty concrete floor. His entire body began to shake as he started to cry both in terror and panic.
What had he done? This hadn't been him! He didn't feel like himself when he was doing all of... this. It was like someone or something had took control of his body but it was much different than when he had been possessed by Morro. Whatever it was he had killed a man. He had killed a man in a brutal way and he could remember the way he felt when he did it. He could remember the satisfaction he felt and- He threw up even more.
Turning around slowly - because he had remembered that he actually wasn't alone - he felt like his heart was being ripped apart.
His friends, his family, the only people whom he trusted with his life stood there just staring at him in fright. It took a few second for Lloyd to connect the dots and realized that they were afraid of him.
And he started to cry even more. He couldn't take it, losing the only people he thought would never leave him. And this time it would be his fault.
Hearing muffled voices in the back he did his best to ignore them. They were probably discussing leaving him right now, so Lloyd really did not want to listen to them.
He just wanted to drift away. He just wanted to die.
A light pressure on his shoulder made him look up and he was being greeted by the soft, yet terrified blue eyes of Jay.
“Let's take you home.”
Lloyd shook his head in panic. No- They couldn't do that! What if he would hurt them as well? What if he would hurt anyone else? They should put him into prison or just kill him now before he could do more damage and not take him home!
“No! You can't! I-I-”, his voice broke and he tried to move away from the redhead. “I'm a monster, Jay!”
“You're not. We- we know that it wasn't you. It was your Oni-Side.”, the way the Blue Ninja spoke to him felt very out of character. His voice was calm and collected while his own was frantic and loud. It was almost like they switched places.
“How would you know?”
“Your eyes were purple, Lloyd.”, the Blonde muttered a quiet 'Oh' in response.
Now that made sense. A lot of sense actually. But if Lloyd had just unlocked his Oni-Half but wasn't able to control it the last thing he wanted to do was go home and put the lives of his friends in danger. Besides he had killed a man. The police would never let him get away with murder even if he was Ninjago's greatest protector.
“Please, Lloyd. Come home with us, Wu will help us figure all this out.”, Jay held a hand in his direction.
“Bu-but the man-”, he stuttered looking over to the corpse, where Kai was already standing removing the dagger and katana with slight disgust on his face.
The Fire Ninja who had apparently been eavesdropping turned to his little brother looking him right in the eyes. “They won't find out.”
He walked towards him, kneeling down next to him. “The police I mean. They won't find out it was you. I- We won't let that happen.”, Lloyd looked at him with shocked and wide eyes leading for Kai to sigh. “What are Ninja friends for if they don't help you get away with murder once, I guess.”
“No- We can't-”
“Yes, we can.”, Cole spoke out this time and Lloyd turned his head to his direction. “That wasn't you, Lloyd. Whatever it was it's terrifying but it wasn't-”, he took a deep breath. “It wasn't you.”, he saw Nya and Zane nod in the corner of his eye.
He started to cry again.
“I don't deserve you. None of you.”
This time it was Jay's turn to sigh and the elder picked him off of the ground.
“I'm sorry to break it to you, Lloyd, but we are exactly what you deserve.”
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birthday body shots | jeff wittek
jeff wittek x reader
summary: the flirting for david’s vlog created a lot of unnoticed ignored sexual tension
warnings: sexual concepts, drinking
2k roughly
lowercase intended - flashbacks in italics
y/n was happy with the birthday dinner her friends took her to, sure it wasn’t what she expected but it was nice for once. no cameras, no skits, no flirting just a group of friends celebrating a birthday almost as if their lives were normal.
y/n did not intend to wake up this early but the light ascended through the blinds in the living room and she was closest to the window. the first thing she noticed when her eyes finally adjusted to the light was her excruciating headache, the second was the fact she was completely pushed up against the edge of the bed, next to her was someone she swore not seeing him ever again would be too soon, jack. His arm was wrapped around her waist, his warm breath fanning her face as he softly snored, it took everything in y/n to get out of his grasp. She fell to the ground with a thud, adding to her headache. Little bits and pieces of last night flashed through her head.
“i’ve never seen a party this big at davids!” y/n yelled over the music to natalie, while they both watched everyone continue to spill into the house. half of the people entering david’s they didn’t even know, the house and backyard were completely full of semi-drunk, sweaty bodies. usually, the parties consisted of the vlog squad and a selected group of other but today it seemed like all of LA decided to join this party.
natalie turned to face the girl. “yea, it was never supposed to get this big-” she signed, throwing her head into her hand, “-david kept inviting people who invited more people.” natalie didn’t think it was the greatest idea but she knew better than anyone no one could stop david once he set his mind to something, she wanted to stay responsible and be the adult but even she couldn’t deny she was tempted to party with everyone.
“hey! might as well enjoy it.” y/n shrugged. “bottoms up.”
that was the start of y/n’s night, as she continued to throw different mixtures of drinks back her mind went into a flurry and little did she know more was to come.
y/n tried dodging all the bodies of her friends and strangers scattered among the floor as she made her way to the kitchen. rubbing circles along her temples, trying to ease the pounding filling her brian a cold metal ejected itself into her foot causing her to let out a series of whispered profanities. y/n focused her eyes on the object, a pair of pink, fluffy handcuffs, more memories flooded her thoughts.
“the police are here!” someone yelled, the music was shut off, hectic groups of people started to scatter around panicked, grabbing as many bottles as the could while finding a room or place to hide. erin and corinna linked their arms through y/n’s as they waited for natalie to open the door with David, who still had his vlog camera rolling- to no one’s surprise. most people knew of the stunt being pulled but played into their part of hiding, while some all lingered in the kitchen or living room along with y/n and the girls.
“look as sober as you can.” zane screeched, making everyone turn to him and shush him. “just act natural.” he bent on the pool stable, causing the cue sticks to fall on the hardwood floor, putting off a loud sound. everyone couldn’t help but start to giggle at the typical ‘zane’ move but all the noise seised when david made his way back into the area, a camera pointed at the birthday girl. his eyebrows were furrowed, a confused look plagued his face.
“they’re asking for you, y/n.”
natalie soon walked in with four officers following behind her, y/n’s heart was beating fast, she was sure everyone could hear the wild pounding coming from her chest. the men’s eyes scanned the room before landing on their target. they made their way over to y/n, motioning for erin and corinna to move. she started to feel smaller and smaller as they approached her, the intoxication wasn’t helping her fear either. she went to speak but her mouth felt dry.
jason decided to break the silence. “there has to be some mistake.” he said, while still keeping his distance. “what exactly did she do?” he asked playing right into his part, although he did feel a little bad for y/n, she looked petrified, he couldn’t help but internally laugh at her stature.
the officer who was standing directly face to face with y/n ignored jason, he grabbed her chin, pulling it to the side while shining a blinding light toward her eyes. another one of the men dragged a chair behind y/n, staying next to it. “i don’t think you’ve had quite enough to drink.” he mumbled, causing y/n to furrow her eyebrows together. “can you please sit at the end of the chair with your hands behind your back.”
y/n complied, not wanting to get into more trouble than she around was in, the previous officer grabbed both of her hands before looping the handcuffs through the chair and onto her wrist, his breath was hot on the back of her neck, his body heat radiating causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand tall.
“it’s your birthday, correct?” y/n nodded. “we have you here for a couple of reasons, one a noise complaint and-” his paused felt like an eternity to the girl “- for being too damn fine!” he yelled as they all ripped their shirts open, displaying their very tones abs. y/n’s eyes widened as confusion still clouded her mind, she was still shaken up with the previous events.
the music was turned back on and the lights started flashing, many people who were recently hidden have rejoined the party. david had the camera pointed straight in her face as the ‘officers’ started to dance around and on her. “happy birthday, peaches!” everyone screamed, bursting into fits of laughter.
“david julian dobrik! i am going to kill you!” y/n squealed, a look of anger mixed with amusement written on her face along with amusement. “Oh my god!” the strippers pulled off their pants, all matching in peach emoji underwear right in y/n’s face. the men continued to grind themselves onto her while she giggled uncontrollably, enjoying herself a little bit too much. when she was finally uncuffed and done with the lap dances she remained dancing with her strippers and throwing back drinks.
more bits of the night resurfaced as she starred at the cuffs, a smile made its way onto her face as she reminisced her night. she continued on her journey to find medicine. when she finally made it to the living room she cringed at the mess and destruction caused by the party, bodies, red solo cups, food, and pieces of glass were scattered across the floor. a bottle of Fortaleza Blanco tequila caught her attention when she heard shuffling coming from the kitchen, pulling her attention away. she made direct eye contact with the person who the tequila reminded her of. jeff.
“jeff, come one. it’s my birthday! let my one wish come true. dance with me.” y/n whined, pulling on jeff’s arm to pull him away from the corner of the room. he allowed the small girl to drag him away from his secluded spot, she was right, it was her birthday and he was more than happy to deliver. once they got to the dance floor jeff watched as y/n started twirling around and swaying to the music like no one else was in the room, she grabbed onto his hands trying to get him to dance with her, jeff gave in once again, resting his hands on her waist moving to the beat along with her. he turned her body so y/n was facing away from him, into a more intimate stance, her back hitting his chest. it’s just for the vlog. she gladly accepted the new position, grinding her ass onto jeff. they continued dancing for what felt like forever until they heard stassie’s voice over the music.
“body shots!”
y/n was quick to drag jeff over to the bar, where their friends and some others were gathered, many bottles of tequila were position on the counter, along with salt and limes. y/n’s flared with excitement while she admired all of her options.
“me and y/n are going first.” stassie shouted, pointing at the birthday girl whose eyes were still trained on all the treats. “pick your poison.” y/n chose the classic bottle of Fortaleza Blanco, taking a fairly large swig of it before handing it to stassie who did the same, she pulled off her top before bouncing on the pool table.
y/n turned back to jeff. “do the honors.” she whispered before joining her friend on the table. a lime was set into both of their mouths, along with salt placed in a line from their cleavage to their collar bone, madison took the tequila, pouring a fair amount onto both girl’s stomachs. they were surrounded by a big circle of people either wanted to watch or get a turn at the action. zane was first to jump into the pull table, right as stassie’s feet, pointing to david’s camera with a big grin on his face. jeff’s inner debate quickly ended when he found himself jumping onto the table, everyone erupted into cheers and hoots. just for the vlog.
y/n tried to keep her breathing a bay, she watched as best as she could as jeff climbed over her body, getting closer to her stomach. his lips parted as he met her eyes, the air seemed to thin, the music around them started to fade, they felt like the only two people in the world. after a few seconds of their staredown, jeff eventually lowered his head to y/n’s torso, getting every last drop of the bitter drink, he then climbed farther up her body now face to face with her chest, he licked up the line of salt, his tongue leaving a burning sensation on y/n’s skin. he wasted no time to before he was face to face with y/n, their soft lips met as jeff sucked the juice from the lime, he picked it out with his teeth before spitting it somewhere long forgotten, he then connected his lips back to y/n in a long-awaited, lust-driven kiss. everyone once again cheered at the two but it was only background noise, y/n and jeff were caught in bliss while they moved in sync with each other. y/n was first to pull away out of breath, her heart was pounding in her rib cage as his eyes pierced into hers. definitely not for the vlog anymore.
“hey.” jeff said, moving the fallen out of his face before going back to rummage through one of david’s many cabinets. “i’m looking for ibuprofen or something but he literally has nothing.” y/n smiled to herself before walking over to the island, opening a drawer full of miscellaneous items, humming in triumph when she found the bottle of pills she was looking for. she shook the pills in jeff’s directly.
“you mean these.”
he rolled his eyes, getting two glasses down and filling them with water. he sat them down on the counter closest to y/n, she handed him two pills before taking hers. “fuck, i can’t remember anything.”
“anything?” jeff asked.
“maybe a few things…” she trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip, her mind going into a battle trying to decide if she wanted to indulge in the conversation at the moment. “do you wanna go to the beach? i just woke up next to my ex and need to clear my mind and you’re the only one awake.” she started gnawing on her lips once again. “and i think we should talk.”
#vlog squad#jeff wittek x reader#jeff wittek imagine#jefft wittek#vlog squad imagine#david dobrik#jason nash#erin gilfoy#corinna kopf#carly incontro#natalie mariduena#stassie#zane hijazi
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Cole is a Self Destructive Dumbass
(But it’s okay the ninja love him anyway)
SO FOR SOME BACKSTORY
I have been challenged. Indirectly. But still, I have been challenged. How, you may be asking?
Well, I’ll show you
do you see that? That is a clear indirect challenge.
So naturally I immediately forced myself to write some hurt/comfort with some legitimate comfort in there just to show that I could. So there @cakeforcole, I can do it!
Who wins in this? Uhh.
Everyone ig
Anyway here have this ily
Cole has an off day that the guys mistake as him being sick. Except it’s a little bit more than that.
2161 words
Cole woke up earlier than normal. His head was pounding with a headache, but it could’ve been worse. It was just an annoying little knocking in his skull, like when Jay tried to talk when everyone else was trying to sleep. If it was actively ignored, it wasn’t terrible.
He sighed, glancing at the clock. He had about an hour before anyone else would be waking up. He sat up, groaning quietly, his head spinning with the motion. He was just going to take a nice, long, hot shower. That would make him feel better, surely.
He didn’t actually end up taking that long, probably because he was used to rushing (thanks to Kai and his bathroom hogging). Still, he felt refreshed. Although the steam hadn’t done much to help with his minor congestion. Stupid allergy season.
He still had maybe a half hour before anyone else would be waking up. Still, for some reason he was way more tired than he had been when he’d first woken up, so maybe he could go back to sleep until he actually needed to be awake. Even thirty minutes would be likely to help a little.
He crawled back into bed, shivering despite the warm temperature they tended to keep the room at. Above him, Jay shifted, but it sounded like he was still asleep. That was good, he’d feel bad if he woke anyone up.
Before long he drifted back to sleep.
It felt like no time passed at all before the alarm clock was blaring. He faintly heard shuffling, but his head hurt, and the last thing he wanted to do was be awake.
“Hey, dude, you gotta get up.” he heard from somewhere above him.
“I don’ wanna,” he mumbled, barely able to get the words out. He was just barely awake enough to hear and respond, and that was already too much.
Something shuffled, it kinda sounded like the guys were talking, but he was already drifting off again.
Out of nowhere, his blanket was dragged off the bed.
“Nooo,” he groaned, blearily opening his eyes before they got any other ideas, like turning on the lights or splashing him with water or something. He didn’t doubt they would, because they’d done it to each other before.
“How late did you stay up?” Jay asked, already dressed and ready for the day and way too awake for six o’clock in the morning.
“I need coffee,” he grumbled instead of answering, shuffling into the kitchen. Truth be told, he had no idea he’d stayed up, but it couldn’t have been that late. He recalled drifting off pretty quickly, actually.
He coughed into his arm. That was probably nothing, though, just a little tickle in his throat. He just needed some water.
As he was waiting for the coffee maker to do its thing, Zane was starting on breakfast. The smells were unusually vivid for some reason. It kind of hurt his head.
It was probably just that headache from earlier making a comeback.
The thought of the coffee he was making sent his stomach churning. Okay, maybe he would skip that for today. He’d be fine without it.
He was up first for training Lloyd today. They were going to be practicing simple hand to hand combat, not using powers whatsoever, just because you could never know if something might happen.
“Alright, you’re gonna try to pin me,” Cole said, pausing to clear his throat. “The only rule is no powers, got it?”
The little ball of green nodded, practically bouncing with energy. Cole wished he had the energy to think about acting like that.
“Ready… go!” Zane yelled from the side, watching with the others as the pair fought. It was rare that Lloyd won, so this was probably going to be easy.
The only problem was that Cole kind of felt like trash, and the movements he was going through were making him dizzy, and suddenly he was on the ground with a nine year old on top of him.
He groaned, and Lloyd hopped up, triumphant. Cole, however, made no move to stand. Instead, he rolled over, pushed himself up with his hands, and threw up.
“Oh, ew.” Lloyd said, taking a few steps back.
He was shaking violently, and if he didn’t move or something, he was going to fall into his own vomit. He gagged a few times, distantly hearing the others concerned cries, but he was more focused on the sweat coating his body and the hair matted to his face and the food he’d eaten last night that was coming back up.
Finally, when it felt like he was done, he crawled away and dropped onto the floor.
“Lloyd, go get a bucket, okay?” Zane said, kneeling beside Cole and feeling his forehead. “Jay, get a cold rag please.”
The two ninja raced off to find whatever it was Zane had just said.
“‘M fine,” Cole groaned, trying to sit up. Zane gently pushed him back down.
“Dude, Lloyd had you down in less than a minute.” Kai said, staying far across the room from the other two and making no move to get any closer.
“You have a fever,” Zane said, brushing the hair out of Cole’s eyes. “And you’ve just thrown up. I am not what you would call a medical expert, but I am well aware that those do not usually mean you are fine.”
Cole would have protested if his stomach didn’t convulse a little. He struggled to sit up, gagged a few times, and threw up once again.
“How are we coming on that bucket?” Kai yelled, leaning back to peer through the door.
“No, no, I’m fine,” Cole protested again, heaving.
“You’re sick, stupid.” Kai said, cringing at the mess on the floor. “Stop with that. The “I’m fine” thing, not the vomiting. Well, it’d be cool if you stopped that too, but you can’t control that one.”
“Thanks, Kai,” Cole groaned, “very helpful.”
“Yeah, I try.”
Okay, but there was absolutely no way that he was sick. Cole didn’t get sick. He must have just eaten something bad. He’d be fine in an hour, tops.
An hour later he was piled under three blankets, shivering like it was snowing indoors. He was absolutely, positively freezing, despite the fact that he was sweating. That didn’t even make sense!
“How are you feeling?” Zane asked, walking in with a box of crackers and a cup of ginger ale, Jay and Kai right behind him.
He didn’t need this, because he wasn’t sick. “I’m fine,” he insisted again, sitting up further to prove it.
“You’re definitely not fine.” Kai said, unhelpfully.
“Stop saying that!”
He was fine, he was fine, completely and absolutely totally fine. The others didn’t know what they were talking about. He. Was. Fine.
He was met with concerned looks from each of his friends.
“Just… go train Lloyd,” he said.
“Nah, he’s excited to have a day off, and we need to keep an eye on you.” Kai shrugged, sitting down in a chair in the corner of the room as if to say he was not leaving.
“You don’t have to, though.” He wasn’t sick.
“Yeah, well we’re going to anyway.”
“You really don’t have to.” It would be better if they would just leave him alone.
Cole hated being seen like this. He hated feeling this weak, this helpless. Worse, he hated being mistakenly identified as sick, because he wasn’t. The guys were just making a big deal out of nothing.
“What’s going on?” Jay asked, legitimately concerned. Great. That was exactly what he didn’t want to happen.
“Nothing, I just—” he paused to cough, nearly choking on it. “You guys don’t need to watch me.”
“That had better not be an insult to my nursing skills. I’ve been taking care of Nya since she was in diapers, and let me tell you, I’m kind of the greatest nurse ever.” If his complete avoidance of Cole while he was puking was anything to go off of, he wasn’t in very good hands.
He coughed again, his eyes watering. The problem was that instead of going away, his eyes continued to water. In fact, they watered until they were leaking. And now it looked like he was crying (looked like, he definitely wasn’t actually crying, no, he wasn’t weak, he wasn’t crying).
“Cole’s what’s wrong?” Zane asked, combing his fingers through his hair gently. “You’re very obviously bothered. Why?”
Okay, maybe he was really insecure, and getting sick made him feel weak, and feeling weak made him feel worthless, but he was pretty sure that was totally normal. What wasn’t normal was that getting sick scared him. It reminded him too much of his mom, because it had started like a normal illness for her. They’d thought it was just a bad cold, but then it had escalated and she had died—
Okay, yeah, he was crying, but maybe they would shrug it off as random hysteria?
“We want to help, Cole.” Jay said, sitting on the edge of the bed carefully. “Please tell us?”
Telling them would make it worse. If they knew, then they’d see that he couldn’t handle his dumb emotions, and then they’d hate him, because he was so stupid.
“I’m fine,” he said, but through the tears and the lack of clearing his throat, he sounded like a glitching, dying, robotic frog.
“Please, Cole. If it would make you more comfortable, you could tell only one of us. We just want to help you.”
He sniffled. They weren’t going to let this go, were they? Fine, he would just try to explain in the barest, most minimal, most vague way he could.
Which unfortunately didn’t work out.
His emotions came spilling out, words choked out through sobbing gasps, and he was shocked they were even able to understand him. He wished they weren’t able to.
“Just leave me alone,” he said when he was finally able to breathe again. His friends hadn’t said anything, and why would they? He was stupid and hysterical and paranoid, and they were probably trying to figure out how to tell him gently that he was weak.
“You know,” Kai said, as if he were making casual conversation, “I still hate when Nya goes anywhere. I know she’s going to come back, but it doesn’t help much. There’s always just this thought… what if she doesn’t?” He was looking down, staring at his hands, but his words were sincere.
If Cole knew Kai, and by now he’d say he did, it almost sounded like… he was admitting to being scared. Kai? Scared? Admitting that he was scared? That just didn’t happen. He was probably hallucinating.
“It’s not stupid to let things like that affect you,” Kai continued, having paused to… probably to curse himself for being so awkward about being so vulnerable. Or even being so vulnerable in the first place. Cole had to be hallucinating. Kai didn’t do vulnerable.
“Trauma sticks with you for years,” Zane said, “and it does not make you weaker. It makes you stronger for being able to carry on.”
Except he wasn’t able to carry on. He couldn’t even get sick without fearing for his life, and every time anyone else got sick, he feared for theirs. What about that made him “stronger”? None of it.
He hadn’t even realized he had voiced these thoughts until Zane carefully pulled him into a hug.
“Oh, Cole,” Zane muttered, quiet and sad. “You are most certainly not weak.” But he was. But Zane also didn’t lie… “And even the fact that you were able to tell us about this says a lot about your character.”
He hadn’t even meant to tell them in the first place. But… something in him was glad that they knew. They weren’t belittling him for it. They were being… kind, and understanding. Even Kai, who tended to shy away from talking about emotions. In fact, he had been the one to share his own problems.
They really didn’t think any less of him for being scared.
“It does?” He found himself asking, just to make sure, even though he was scared to hear the answer.
“Of course it does, Dirtclod.” Jay said, and Cole couldn’t help but smile at the nickname. “And besides, you’re one of the strongest people I know, if not the strongest. This doesn’t change that.”
The tears that he had only barely managed to stop just came back again, but this time in a less negative light. His friends actually cared about him to the point where they understood. They didn’t care that he was a little bit messed up. They actually loved him.
He’d never had friends like that before.
“Oh no, was it something I said? Crap, I’m sorry—” Jay said, backtracking quickly, but Cole stopped him with a choked laugh between his cries.
“You guys are the best.”
#SO I DID THE MATH#THIS IS 52% COMFORT#GUYS THAT'S OVER HALF#PURE PROOF#I *CAN* NOT HURT HIM!#I just choose to most of the time cause that's more fun#Kat writes#Ninjago fanfiction#Ninjago#sickfic#whump#hurt/comfort#cakeforcole#the challenge is complete#I have won#except so did cakeforcole I hope#yay we all win#you don't even know how hard this was to write#but I got there#you're welcome guys
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Cooking with Cole
Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m actually not one for this holiday but if it’s an excuse to indulge in some glaciershipping, I’d say bring it! I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it!
It’s the morning of Valentine’s Day and Cole was already panicking on this day of love. He was sure Zane already made him a cake because that’s how it’s been every year. A well-known fact to everyone in Ninjago was the buff guy’s love for cake and anything sweet. The even sweeter son of the famed inventor Dr. Julien was all too aware of this and whenever they got together, he would make a cake as gorgeous as it was delicious. Any cakes he make would put even the top patissiers to shame. Zane had done so much for Cole and what did he ever do in return?
A flashback of all the romantic moments he and Zane shared popped up. He loved seeing the way the wintry beauty smiled, how graceful he was when they danced together, and that voice. That velvety smooth voice that could put even the most talented singers to shame when they share a duet together. Zane did nothing but give yet Cole never really gave anything back.
Looking back on all this, Cole felt like a horrible boyfriend.
Maybe Zane deserves better than him...
‘No! I’ll make myself better! Someone he truly deserves!’ Cole couldn’t bear the thought of breaking up with his snow angel. Not only will he never find someone as amazing but Zane has done nothing to deserve the pain of heartbreak.
Then he realized the solution was in front of him the whole time. He looked back on all the cakes and other treats Zane made for him. He now wanted to return the favor and this was the perfect opportunity.
“That’s it! I’m gonna make a cake for Zane!” Cole’s declaration echoed in the otherwise empty house. With his father out of town, he had all the time in the world to brush up his culinary skills.
As if the timing wasn’t impeccable enough, he got a text message from Zane himself.
‘Cole, if it’s alright with you, I’m coming over to your house in the evening. I’m making something special for you and I hope you’ll like it.’
The muscular youth almost couldn’t handle how adorable his lover can get. He really wanted to surprise him and all he could text back was a simple ‘okay’ before prepping himself for the arduous task set before him. This was going to be a Valentine’s Day they’ll never forget...
...
Cole pretty much hit a brick wall the moment he entered the kitchen. He had a terrible track record when it comes to cooking. He can even turn the simple task of making toast into a bloodbath. He immediately worried and fretted over the terrible scenarios that could happen. He can see it now. The cake is a complete fail and Zane staring at it with sheer disgust then at him with pure hatred. And then his pale lips curl into a malicious smirk.
“Is that all you have to give?” The young man’s voice was as cruel as he was beautiful, “I don’t see why I should be stuck with someone as lowly as yourself. Because of that, I’m breaking up with you. I should be with someone who really treats me right and gives me nice things.”
“No! Zane! Don’t leave me!” Cole futilely begged.
But it was too late.
Zane already had his arms wrapped around Morro, who shot a cocky triumphant smirk at Cole. The muscular young man cried out to his traitorous lover but the couple already walked out of earshot.
“NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Cole found himself back at his house, relieved that Zane leaving him for Morro was nothing more than an elaborate fantasy. There’s no way he’s giving him up to some pretentious edgelord. He’s gonna bake the greatest cake ever and it’s all just for Zane.
...
Cole stared at the directions of a basic chocolate genoise recipe. Some of these phrases were confusing. How do eggs get white and fluffy? The recipe did recommend using a mixer and he luckily had one lying around in the kitchen. First, he had to get the eggs into the bowl. One would think having immense strength such as his would make it easy but maybe it was a little too much. By the time he had three eggs in the bowl, he already destroyed twice as many. He crushed most of the eggs in his hands and bits of shells mingled with the broken egg yolks in the bowl and egg whites ran down the sides from where he cracked them with too much force. It was surprisingly difficult to get the shell fragments out of the bowl with his large hands but in the end, he got them out for the most part. He added the sugar as the recipe said, and maybe a bit more so it can be just as sweet as Zane, and now it’s mixing time.
With the mixer plugged in, Cole looked at the dial, wondering if he should go on low or high. He wanted to get things done fast so might as well put it on high. The loud noise almost startled him but he watched and waited to see the eggs get ‘white and fluffy’. The eggs got paler and have thickened but Cole wasn’t sure if they can be considered as such. After watching the mixer go at it for what felt like forever, he gave up and decided to continue with what he got.
‘Dammit! I forgot to sift the dry ingredients whatever that means!’ Cole noticed he didn’t prepare the flour and cocoa powder beforehand, ‘But it’s not gonna change much. I can just dump them in right now.’ The dark-skinned novice chef added them in and put the mixer on high again. Flour and cocoa powder went everywhere. The flour-covered Cole had to switch the power to low and to his dismay, he could see lumps in the batter. He turned off the mixer and tried to fix it by hand. He stirred and stirred with a whisk but the lumps were still there. ‘Oh well. They’re really tiny. No harm in that.’
After that, he melted the butter and the directions said to mix a little bit of batter into it before adding it. It’s already gonna go into the cake so what’s the point in that? Cole shrugged and dumped it all in and whisked the batter. Now all that’s left is to actually bake the cake. Much to his dismay he also forgot to preheat the oven. The cake itself wasn’t even baked and it already felt like nothing was going right for him.
‘No! I’m not giving up! This is all for Zane!’ Cole already put so much effort into this cake and he won’t let it go to waste. He turned on the oven but while he was waiting, he made a disturbing discovery. The batter had separated for some reason.
‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Cole had no idea what he did wrong. He did just as the recipe said. Why is this happening? He tried stirring it and it seemed to do the trick. The oven finally reached the right temperature and after one final stir, Cole quickly poured the batter into the pan and left it in the oven to bake.
The cake was done once the latest episode of Hunted came to an end. Cole took the cake out of the oven and... was disappointed. The cake didn��t rise as much as it should have and was uneven. After it cooled, the strong guy had a hard time getting it out of the pan. In hindsight, he should’ve covered it with some parchment paper or greased it with cooking spray. The cake was stuck and he ran a knife along the sides and tried pulling it out by hand. It finally came out except chunks of the cake was still stuck to the pan. The cake looked really bad. Hopefully the ganache to frost the cake will hide its imperfections. All he had to do was melt the chocolate and cream together. Simple, right?
This is Cole who’s cooking. Of course it’s not gonna be as simple.
Cole wasn’t sure if the amount of cream the recipe called for will be enough. It seemed like so little compared to all the chocolate. ‘Some more wouldn’t hurt.’ Cole doubled the amount of cream and turned on the stove. He watched the cream warm up but it sure was taking its sweet time coming to a simmer, at least that’s what the recipe calls it.
‘Probably won’t hurt to check on my phone for a bit.’ Cole looked at his device to discover a new text from Kai.
The egomaniac bragged about all the things he’s doing with his boyfriend Jay and even posting a plethora of selfies. Cole felt a tinge of jealousy seeing how happy they were. He already had many happy moments with Zane but he felt like he was being left behind and when Kai’s sister Nya joined in with her two girlfriends Pixal and Skylor, it got even worse. He was almost jealous of Lloyd, who spends every Valentine’s Day buying a chocolate bar and eating it by himself. The green-eyed blonde seems to certainly enjoy being single. Cole was tempted to send some sort of reply but he didn’t want them to blab to Zane. The cake is supposed to be a surprise and nothing will stop him, not even the loud sizzling sounds and stench of something burning.
Burning...?
The cream was burning! Cole rushed in and almost got scalded by the bubbling liquid that almost touched his hand when he turned off the stove. After the bubbles died down, the burnt smell remained and the cream had almost evaporated. Luckily, he had more and just poured it in and the cold liquid made a scorching sound when it touched the pot. The intense heat could probably heat it up in an instant and he could save himself the work. He added it into the chocolate and then noticed the layer of burnt cream stuck to the bottom and cream in the bowl still carried a foul stench. Cole dismissed it as just the smell and the flavor won’t be affected.
Just as Cole feared, the hot cream alone wasn’t enough to melt the chocolate, even with twice the amount as the recipe said. No matter how much he stirred, there were still a bunch of lumps. He tried to fix it by heating it up in the microwave but nothing seems to be working out for him. He could hear something almost like an explosion go off in the microwave. With a speed that could match Jay’s, he took out the ganache (and almost burning himself again) and much to his horror, it was just as screwed as the cake. The recipe said the ganache was supposed to be smooth and shiny but the results of his attempt was dull, gritty, and sad. The chocolate kept separating and leaving ugly streaks in the mixture. Cole didn’t have enough ingredients to make another batch so he resigned himself to work with what he got.
Cole struggled to cut the cake in half but it was already so uneven. He couldn’t keep the knife straight and the cake kept crumbling. After getting two very sloppy layers, he finally noticed all the air pockets hidden within the cake. He grabbed some cake chunks that fell off and filled in the holes and tried spreading the ganache on the first layer. Something weird was going on with the chocolate. Thin liquid seeped from the grainy frosting and there was nothing he could do to remedy it. All he can do now is hope it won’t affect the cake too much and placed the next layer on top. Frosting a cake was clearly harder than it looks. He watched videos of cakes being frosted and he wished he had a turntable or an offset spatula. All he had was a plain kitchen knife and he struggled to frost all the sides and top.
Cole hoped frosting the cake will salvage it but somehow, it looked even worse. He looked through the recipe, hoping it could give him some hints to save it. All that was left was the final direction: decorate it however one likes. “Some help that turned out to be.” The buff man scoffed and looked at his sorry excuse for a cake, “I guess some decorations will make it a bit easier to look at...” Because the cake was for Zane, Cole wondered what kind of decorations Zane likes and what would suit him. The image of pure icy blue eyes stuck in his mind and he, more often than not, wore light colors. The first thing on his mind were something pastel-y. He looked through the cabinet for some pastel sprinkles or anything that says ‘Zane’. Unfortunately, the only kind of decorations he had was a pack of Halloween-themed sprinkles from a couple of years ago.
‘Should I even bother?’ Cole stared at the outdated sprinkles with dismay, ‘These stupid sprinkles don’t even match and the cake is too far gone...’ He looked at the disastrous confection again as if the pile of botched cake and ganache could provide any sort of answer to his dilemma. He wanted to quit while he still has some dignity left yet he his heart was telling him not to give up. He thought of the gifts he got in previous Valentine’s Days. He thought about Zane. He still feared his normally kind and patient boyfriend will dump him for Morro. He needed to make this cake look as good as it can possibly get. Without a second thought, he dumped the whole container of sprinkles onto the cake...
“Ah... The perfect cake for my Valentine...” Cole gazed at the beautiful finished cake...
...picture from the cookbook.
“Why doesn’t mine look like that!?” The dark-haired young man put down the book to gape at his hideous disaster of a homemade cake. The ganache was sloppy and separating and the sprinkles melted into the chocolate, creating a gross tie-dye effect and then there’s the messed up cake underneath it all. Cole wanted to do nothing more except cry over his failed efforts. He’ll surely lose Zane forever all because he wanted to return the love he had given him.
It’s too late to start over again. The sun was already starting to set and he could see a certain someone approaching the house from the window.
‘Crap!’ Cole didn’t even have time to wrap the cake or even put it in a box. He left it there and went to get changed. He scoured through his wardrobe to find the right outfit to impress Zane. He picked out yet another sleeveless shirt with a band logo and black pants. It wasn’t really formal but he was never one for those kind of clothes. He just wanted to wear something he really liked to make up for his awful time in the kitchen. The cheesy doorbell rang, notifying him that Zane was here. After a quick brush of his thick black locks, Cole went straight for the door. Taking a deep breath, Cole put on a debonair face and opened the door to welcome his lover.
Zane wore a simple yet elegant white shirt, khaki jeans, light blue vest and was holding something behind his back and Cole was pretty sure what it was. No matter what he wore or the circumstances, he always looked so breathtaking.
“Uh... Oh wow...” Cole was left tongue-tied at the sight of his beautiful boyfriend alone.
“I can tell you’re quite thrilled to see me.” Zane giggled at his lover’s flustered reaction. He couldn’t wait to show him what he made for this occasion.
“And I see you’ve got something for me.”
“Yes. I have made something special as promised to you.”
Zane took out the thing he hid behind his back and Cole was blown away just from the beautiful packaging. The heart-shaped container covered in pink wrapping with pretty heart patterns and a little Valentine card attached to it sat amidst a bed of white crinkle paper with a slight sheen in a clear plastic box that was tied up with a delicate red ribbon.
“Zane... I... Thank you...” Cole said out loud while he felt like he didn’t deserve such a lovely present and felt bad for even holding it. Then again, it’s been like this every year. He can keep his sorry attempt at baking a secret and things will go on as usual.
“I smell something coming from the kitchen...” Zane caught a whiff of a strange scent. His instincts to protect Cole went into overdrive and he sought to investigate.
‘Shit!’ Cole realized he completely forgot about the cake. There’s no way he’ll let Zane be a witness of something so unholy.
“Uh... n-no need to go in there! Hehe...” He blocked the entrance, slightly thankful for his musclebound build.
“Cole, is something wrong? You normally have no issue with me entering your kitchen.” Zane was still curious tried peeking over Cole’s shoulder.
“Nothing to see here! Why don’t we just go into the living room and watch some movies?” Cole still tried to distract him. As sweet as he is, Zane can be extremely persistent and unfortunately, now was one of those times.
“What is that?” Much to the larger man’s horror, his snow angel caught a glimpse of Ninjago’s cruelest mistake sitting on the kitchen table.
Cole saw the shocked and confused expression on his lover’s fair face. At that very second, the dam holding back the ugly truth broke down.
“Okay, fine! You want the truth?! I can’t cook!” Cole finally broke down, “I tried baking you a cake but no matter how hard I tried, it’s a disaster! If you’re gonna dump me right here and now, go ahead! Go out with Morro or whoever the hell you want! You deserve better!”
“What are you talking about...?” Zane didn’t expect his lover to react this way, especially not on this day dedicated to love.
Cole couldn’t bear to even look at Zane and curled up on the floor, hoping it would open up and swallow him whole. He truly wanted Zane to be happy and be with someone who can give treat him the way he should. Too bad that someone isn’t him.
“Cole, what happened? Please tell me.” Zane crouched down to his level. Again, he was being persistent. It would do him no good to argue back.
“You see... you’ve always made cakes and all kinds of good food for me and... I wanted to return the favor...” Cole sighed in defeat, still refusing to look at Zane.
“You made this... for me...?”
“I know what you’re thinking. You’re now wondering why you have to be stuck with a moron who can’t even bake a freakin’ cake. I won’t blame you if you break up with me. I’m just... I’m sorry I can’t be the person you deserve.”
“Cole...”
The buff man flinched when he felt a cool hand graze his cheek.
“Cole, look at me.” Zane’s voice was as smooth and calm as ever. Cole kept his earthy green eyes squeezed shut in fear of the disappointed look that is undoubtedly on his lover’s beautiful face. He jerked his head away but Zane caressed his chin. As scared as he was, Cole could never deny his lover whatever he wanted, even if it could put their relationship in jeopardy.
It was a struggle to open quivering eyelids and Cole was reward with not a scowl of disgust but a gentle serene face. Relief still hadn’t come to him and he had doubts it was genuine.
“Zane...?” A slight gasp escaped from Cole’s lips.
“I’m so grateful you wanted to do something special for me.” The slender beauty embraced his muscular boyfriend.
“Really? I mean, I... You don’t -”
“But...”
Cole should’ve known there was a catch. Even someone as kind and forgiving as Zane has his limits...
“Please don’t push yourself for my sake. You alone are the perfect gift.” Zane nuzzled the crook of his neck.
“Do you really mean that?”
“Yes. You are the one person who makes me feel like I can be me and allow me to experience feelings I’ve never felt with anyone else before. Being with you makes me feel... complete.”
“You... took the words right out of my mouth... because I feel the same with you. Even now, with you here, I don’t want to let you go. Zane, I love you.” Cole’s strong arms instinctively wrapped around Zane’s lithe frame despite his earlier fears.
“And I love you too. Nothing will ever change that.”
“Not even the cake?”
“Of course not.”
“So... wanna try it?”
“I think I’d prefer to live many more years with you.”
Cole let out a chuckle at one of the few instances his boyfriend’s sense of humor was on point.
“Would you like to see what I made for you?” Zane offered.
“Definitely. Now let’s go to the living so I can love you.” It was Zane’s turn to giggle at how affectionate the big guy can get and that’s what he loves about him.
No sooner had they sat on the couch did Cole carefully unwrap Zane’s gift. He was pleasantly surprised by a big chocolate heart decorated with cream, icing, and sprinkles with such detail and intricacy he wouldn’t be surprised if Zane took the time placing each little sprinkle onto the chocolate and with the icing, he even wrote ‘For My Love’ in fancy handwriting. Half of him wanted to dig right in while the other half didn’t want to mar such a lovely work of art.
“Go ahead. Please eat up.” Zane encouraged his first half that wanted to try it.
Cole didn’t hesitate to take a big bite out of the chocolate and was pleasantly surprised by what’s inside. The chocolate was filled with a mixture of soft chocolate cake and frosting like one giant cake pop and sandwiched in between was a layer of rich and smooth ganache that melted in his mouth. Even better was all the love and thought Zane put into it just like every other year. He almost gobbled up the whole thing had he not noticed Zane gazing at him the whole time with those mesmerizing crystalline eyes.
“Uh... why don’t you try some?” Cole offered what remained of his latest culinary masterpiece, “You made it yourself and as they say, you reap what you sow.”
“That’s quite alright. I made it just for you to enjoy. I’m simply happy that you like it.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to make something for you in return?”
“After seeing the... results of your efforts... simply buying something will be nice. Like I said, I wouldn’t want you to push yourself. I love you too much to allow you to do that.”
“Oh, so now it’s become a contest on who loves who more?” Cole jested.
“If you think you love me more, prove it.” Zane teased back, motioning with his finger for Cole to come closer.
“With pleasure!” Cole swooped down and pressed his lips against Zane’s, who was just as eager to return the favor and kissed back.
The chocolate was already very sweet but sharing a kiss with Zane will always be a million times sweeter.
#ninjago#glaciershipping#my writing#plasmashipping#polyponytails#kinda blizzardshipping#lloyd is me on v day
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The Ninja Create Fursonas
Despite the title, no furries were harmed in the making of this fic
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When the announcement first comes through, Jay's thrilled. He can't believe it's real. It's like something out of a dream. When the day finally comes and they're on their way to the studio, he sits in the back seat and practically vibrates in place for the entire trip.
A hand settles on his thigh. "Settle down, Jay!" Cole says, laughing. "You're charging up enough energy to give us all static shocks for a week. Is your brain exploding? You're so jittery today."
"Of course I'm jittery," Jay snaps. "How are you not? This is like, the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
This thing being- wanting to ride their latest wave of popularity after defeating the Preeminent (and Nadakhan, but apparently he didn't count- yes, Jay was salty), a toy-making company had approached the group and asked if perhaps they'd be interested in a line of stuffed toy creatures made after them? As if they'd say no. And if that wasn't enough, they also wanted the ninja to be the ones to design them.
Jay just might pass out in the back of this van.
They'd been escorted into a cozy-looking room with long tables and chairs and given giant pads of paper and black markers. The head artist gave them a rundown of guidelines- nothing scandalous, certainly; they should try to make each character cute, relatable, and most of all marketable- and oh, wouldn't it be neat if they each had something to do with their element?
Jay had agreed readily. He sized up the sketch pad in front of him and cracked his knuckles. Okay, brain. Let's do this.
Except that was forty-five minutes ago and Jay's no closer to an idea than when he began. He bangs his head against the table with a long, drawn-out groan. His sketch pad drops uselessly from his hands.
"It's no use," he whines. "I don't have a creative bone in my body. I'm gonna have to pack my bags and move to the south and become a repressed goat farmer."
Kai mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like "not a creative bone in my body my butt." But when Jay looks over at him, the fire ninja's attention is fixed firmly to his own board.
Blearily, Jay raises his head. Everything he's drawn looks like trash. There's a weird leopard creature scribbled out in the corner. Next to it is a lizard that looks like a cross between Rango and that purple thing from Monsters Inc except with none of their good qualities and all of their bad. A sad bird-thing sits in the center. It looks disappointed in him despite its lack of face. Maybe the blankness enhances it.
He drops his marker on the table and leans back with a long groan.
"It can't be all that bad," Nya says. She's bent over beside him, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she fills something in. Jay sighs without moving.
"I couldn't think of anything to draw so I started drawing Kai as a porcupine."
Nya whistles lowly. "That is bad," she says. Both of them ignore Kai's outraged shout of: "Hey! My face is the best inspiration you'll ever get!" She sets down her own pad, closing the cover. "Maybe if we show you what we've done, it'll inspire you."
"Or it'll just make me feel worse about myself," Jay grumbles, but he sits up in his seat properly. "Okay. Let's try that. Do you have anything?"
Nya shrugs the way she does when she's proud of something she did but doesn't want to call attention to it. "There was something I was working on." She flips open her sketchbook. Jay scoots his chair closer to hers. His eyes widen.
"Woah, Nya! That's actually really cool!"
"Actually?" Nya asks, raising her eyebrow, but she laughs when Jay pouts at her. "Oh, fine. Thanks. It's not much yet, but-"
The character on her paper is a seal, small and round, with dark eyes and a happy puppy face. At the edges of the sheet are more drawings- one has the seal in a wetsuit; another puts it in diver fins and a snorkel.
"I wanted to experiment around," Nya says. "I think I like the wetsuit one the best."
"That one's cute," Jay agrees.
From Nya's right side comes a groan. "Will you two keep it down?" Kai complains. "Some of us are trying to work here."
"Some of us are trying to work here too, but we can't," Jay sends back. Not one of his best comebacks, but it's to Kai. "I've got brain blockage and Nya's helping me out."
Kai glances over and sees what they're doing. He perks up. "Oh, are we sharing?" He sits up straighter and drums his fingers on the table. "Hey, guys! We're sharing!"
"Oh, good!" says Cole. "I wanted your feedback on something."
"Me too," says Zane.
Jay narrows his eyes at both of them. "This right now?" he says. "This is about me. Not you."
Cole waves his hand. "Of course, of course."
The way he says it has Jay hhmphing, but they both turn their focus to Kai as the fire ninja loudly demands their attention.
Kai has created what appears to be a horse, except that it has a few too many legs, a creepy tongue drooling out of its face, and horns. So it's actually not like a horse at all. Somehow it's both angular and blobby at the same time. Ah, the dualities of Art.
"I thought we were supposed to be making these marketable," Zane says with a tilt of his head.
"This is marketable!" Kai protests. "Kids are like, bonkers for dragons."
Ah, so that's what the blob is, Jay thinks. "Bonkers?" he snickers aloud. "What are you, seventy? Did you try cuckoo too? What about nutty?"
"Bananas," Lloyd pipes up. "Gaga. Buggy."
"Okay, okay, we get it," Kai grumbles. "You like to talk."
"That wasn't my point at all," Jay says, but he concedes it. He does like to talk, after all.
"Why does it have six legs?" asks Nya.
"Those are its wings," Kai sniffs.
Nya bursts out laughing, slapping her hand on her knee, eyes closed into crescents. "Hey!" Kai shouts, shoving her from her chair. "You know that drawing's not my real talent."
"Oh, we know," Cole says under his breath.
"Huh?"
"Nothing!" Cole grins. "I'll go next." He flicks back a page or two. "So I originally wanted to do a bear, because bears are cool and they're the deadliest animal on the planet."
"I'm pretty sure you meant to say 'shark'," Nya says.
"I'm pretty sure I said what I meant to say," Cole snips back. He returns his attention to his drawing board. "But bears are too overdone in this day and age."
Jay can't even make fun of him for saying 'this day and age' like some grandma because he's too busy currently gaping at the art on Cole's board.
The character on Cole's paper is definitely not a bear.
"Bears are overdone," Cole says. "So I thought, why not make a narwhal?"
"How on earth," Jay asks faintly, "did you make the jump from bear to narwhal?"
Cole shrugs. "It made sense at the time."
"What's a narwhal?" Lloyd asks. His marker is flying a mile a minute across his sketch pad and his eyes never leave the page.
"It's a unicorn fish," Jay says, turning a disbelieving eye back to the earth ninja. Cole just grins. "A unicorn fish that no one cares about. What happened to giving me inspiration?" he demands. "You've just killed any ideas I might have had!"
Cole pouts.
"I, for one, think it's adorable!" Nya's come up behind Cole now and is peering at his sketch pad. Hearing her words, Cole brightens. "Does it have a name?"
"I was thinking Gnarly."
Nya nods sagely. "That's uber-rad, bro."
Bring Me to Life is playing on a psychedelic loop inside Jay's head. Wake me up inside, wails the lead vocalist, but Jay can't wake up (save me).
"Am I the only one taking this seriously?" he whines. "Guys. This is like, our legacy."
"I'm pretty sure our legacy is saving the city," Kai drawls, "not whatever these characters will be."
"Our legacy," Jay emphasizes. "Don't you realize how cool this is? How many people get to say they have their own cartoon character?"
Cole shrugs. "Exactly. That's why I'm having fun with it. Hey, do you think that Gnarly would look good with a monocle?"
"I'm taking it seriously," Lloyd says. "Look at mine."
"Gnarly would look absolutely dapper in a monocle, how could you even ask that."
"How big is he?" asks Zane. "That would have to be one big piece of glass."
"Hey, guys."
"Ooh, you should give him a mohawk."
"A mohawk? He's a fish! Fish don't have hair!"
"I'm pretty sure it's a mammal, actually."
An explosion rockets the left side of the room. Jay startles so badly he almost falls out of his chair. His eyes dart around for the threat, only to lock eyes with a smirking Lloyd. A smirking Lloyd who still has his fist raised, faint wisps of smoke rising from his fingers.
Jay lets out an inhuman shriek. It's a wonder that no one's come in to check on them, honestly. "Lloyd!"
"What?" Lloyd grins. "You weren't paying attention to me."
"We've raised a brat," Cole says. "An absolute menace."
Lloyd's grin intensifies. "As I was saying…"
He spins his board around with all the pomp and circumstance of a ten-year-old who learned how to act through daytime television. Somehow, despite them only having been given black sharpie markers to draw with, Lloyd has colored his character in with crayon. It's a shockingly detailed goat-creature. Its fur has been colored a mint green, and it's wearing a golden sweater with dragons crossing the sides.
It looks like it was ripped from the pages of an actual comic book.
"Woah!" Kai says, launching himself across the table and sending no less than three markers flying as he goes in for a closer look. "That's awesome, Lloyd!" He beams at the younger ninja. "What is it?"
Nya scoffs. "Obviously it's an alpaca, you dolt."
"It's a yak," Cole says.
Jay makes a disagreeing noise. "No, I'm pretty sure it's a goat."
"Guys," Lloyd says, looking extremely disappointed in all of them, "it's a llama."
They sit in silence for a moment.
"Ooh," Jay says. "Alright. That makes a bit more sense."
"Is it my turn?" Zane asks. Unlike some other members whose names shall not be mentioned, he waits until their attention is on him before starting. "I put a lot of thought into this character."
He turns around his paper. Jay chokes on his water. Tears stream from his eyes and he's coughing, but when he wipes them away the picture stays the same.
In the middle of the page, in the glorious high definition only a nindroid could hope to achieve, is a shark that looks like it came right out of some Super Bowl halftime slot. Its eyes are vacant. Its mouth is open in an agonized scream. It's standing in a starfish pose, legs in lieu of a tail.
"My character is a shark," Zane says, as if it needed any explanation.
Everyone stops and looks at him. Zane's the picture of earnestness, eyes wide and unguarded. At this exact moment, he looks like a five-year-old presenting some horrific drawing to its mother. As the silence stretches on, his face falls. "Is it not on target enough? I know we were supposed to be making something related to our element, but there are not that many snow creatures."
The group glances at each other, expressions veering towards the panicked side. By some unspoken agreement, they all reach the same conclusion.
"Oh, no!" says Nya. "We were all just surprised by how good you draw."
"It's a great shark, Zane," Cole says, tone a bit forced. The expression in his eyes doesn't match the grin on his face.
"Yeah," Jay says lamely. "I like how- how blue it is."
Zane beams.
"It looks like you're well on your way!" says a new voice. It's the head artist, coming back into the room. She looks around approvingly at the studio of chaos. "Well done. I knew I heard the sounds of productivity in here."
Apparently productivity sounds like random explosions and screaming now. That's- honestly not that far off the mark, considering that Jay's a literal ninja for his job.
"The next step, if you haven't already," says the artist, "will be coming up with names." Cole high-fives Nya. "I'll be back in a bit to check on you again!"
The room descends into voices once again as she leaves.
"I need a cool name for my dragon," Kai says immediately. "There's got to be a way to combine my name with it, right?"
"Kragon," Cole suggests. "Drakai."
Kai wrinkles his nose. "Kragon? Like that weirdo from the LEGO line?"
"No, you're thinking of Cragger," Lloyd says. "Kragon is that magical crystal thing Jedi use."
Jay rolls his eyes. "No, that's a kyber. Didn't I raise you better than this? Kragon is that website that people sell stuff on."
"No, that's Craigslist."
"Whatever it is," Kai interrupts, "I don't like it. So you nerds can all drop it now."
"I think I'll call mine Neela," Nya says.
Cole glances at her sketchpad and makes a noise of approval. "Neela and Gnarly," he says. "Hey! Ours could be best friends!"
"You're already coming up with backstory?" Jay protests. "I haven't even started my character!"
"Well stop whining and just make one!" Cole says, exasperated.
Jay pouts. At the other end of the table, Lloyd's cackling up a storm as he writes name after name down the side of his paper. Jay leans over to see: his favorites seem to be Llod, Llyod, and Floyd judging on the circles he's made around them.
Jay sighs and leans back in his seat. Nya's abandoned her spot beside him to go brainstorm with Cole, and Kai's still tossing ideas out to the group even though no one's listening to him.
"Ooh, what about Kaitron?"
"That just sounds like a robot," Jay complains. Inspiration cuts through the cloud of his mind like a knife. "That's it!"
The entire room stops and stares at him. Seeing that he's just stood abruptly and slammed his sketch pad against the table, Jay can't blame them. "Kai," he says, "you're a genius." As quickly as he stood he's seated again, turning over a new page and beginning to sketch.
"I'm a what?" Kai asks, somewhere in the background.
Jay outlines a triangular shape. Then a body with one big wheel instead of legs. He fills up his page with sketches, mind vomiting up ideas faster than he can put them on paper. Yes. Yes! This was exactly what he wanted!
"Everyone!" he says- practically demands their attention. He rips the top sheet off his sketchpad with a flourish. "Meet NJ, your friendly little shapeshifting robot friend! The double emphasis on friendliness means that it's full of love."
"Shapeshifting?" Lloyd asks. "Woah, that's neat!"
Jay nods, grinning. "He can turn into anything, as long as it's non-organic." He points out some sketches of NJ as a toaster, as a spy drone, as an umbrella.
"That's- actually a cool idea, Jay," Cole says. "I like it!"
"Hey!" Jay protests. "Are you telling me that all my other ideas aren't cool?"
Cole grins. "You said it first," he points out.
"Kriff!" shouts Kai. For a second Jay thinks the fire ninja is swearing, but it turns out he's talking to his dragon. "Perfect name. Done."
The head artist chooses this moment to re-enter the room. She beams when she sees all their sketchpads laid out. "Looking good, everyone! Do you all have designs now?" They nod. "Great. Well, our next step will be for each of you working with our on-location artists to better flesh out your concepts. Oh, and then backstories!" She grins. "I'll go call them in."
She leaves. Kai stares at his paper. "I hope my artist likes challenges," he finally says.
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