#zander cries a lot and i love it okay

[spookyboywhump]

Okay so maybe you could add this in a piece Idk but I just wanted to say this: How about, Zander gets beaten (a lot) he tries to hold in his screams and cries. He refuses to break in front of Cain (bonus points if Clement is there too with his annoying grin on his face) so then after, when Zander is in the bathroom, cleaning himself up, he just breaks, he cries, he can’t handle it. That was kinda deep but anywho ....... Oki byeeeeeeeeee

This has been in my inbox for so long and I am so sorry but something finally happened here.

 I ended up focusing less on the beating and more on the Zander Crying though since that is my SHIT, as well as a little bit Wren and Zander confert because honestly it’s what he deserves. Anyway here’s This.

Content warnings: Aftermath of a beating, lots of self hate and self deprecation 

***

Cain’s foot came down hard on his head, knocking his skull down against the hard floor and ruining his attempt to get to his feet. He gritted his teeth, only a whine of pain escaping as he collapsed, lying still as he waited for the next attack. He wasn’t sure how long this had gone on now, it was rare for Cain to straight up beat him, no whips or belts, just his fists and his feet slamming into him, and he had no choice but to take it. His only solace was making sure that Cain didn’t get the satisfaction he wanted, making sure he didn’t see him cry, even if he was in near agony from the beating. 

 “Get the fuck out of here.” Cain finally said, jabbing him hard in the ribs with the tip of his shoe, apparently bored of this game if Zander wasn’t going to give in. He could tell by the tone of his voice he was fed up, tired from the exertion of the beating. If you’re fucking tired, imagine how I feel, He thought bitterly, struggling to get to his feet. He wouldn’t look at Cain as he slowly, unsteadily made his way out of the room, just praying he could make it back to his room where he could collapse safely. 

 Wren looked up when he entered the room, eyes immediately widening as he got to his feet, starting to approach him. He’d been left behind, ordered to stay behind, and honestly Zander preferred that, preferred he didn’t have to watch that mess. Right now though, he wished Wren wasn’t there at all. 

 “A-are you okay? What did he-”

 “I’m fine!” He snapped at him, and Wren froze, falling silent. He instantly felt guilty, and angry at himself for lashing out, knowing Wren was just concerned. “I’m fine.” He repeated, more calmly, and Wren nodded slowly, though he clearly didn’t believe him. He turned his attention away from him, going into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him, locking it even though only Wren was on the other side. It was one small sense of security, one thing he could do to trick himself into feeling “safe”.

 He didn’t even know what that felt like anymore. He hadn’t been “safe” in six years, every moment he wasn’t being hurt he was just waiting for it, knowing it would inevitably happen. He groaned as he collapsed against the door, legs finally giving out. He was sore all over, and he knew the beating had reopened a few healing wounds, which was just one more thing to take care of. He didn’t want to deal with it right now though, he didn’t want to deal with anything right now. 

 It was rare for him to feel this overwhelmed by everything, by the beating, by the unfairness of the situation, by his anger and frustration and guilt over snapping at Wren. It was as if all the tears he’d held back through the beating hit him at once, and he quickly blinked them back, biting down hard on his lip as he tried to focus on something else, anything else. He forced himself away from the door, trying to gather the necessary things to take care of himself, but his hands were shaking, and after the second time he dropped something he got frustrated, slamming the cabinet door shut and sitting back again, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes in an attempt to force back the tears.

 “Fuck… fuck!*” He yelled, no concern for Wren hearing him, all pent up anger and frustration finally coming out. Realistically he knew that somebody couldn’t handle bottling up their emotions for so long, but he wasn’t somebody, he wasn’t even a person, he was just… he didn’t know. A dog? An object? That’s all he was to Cain anyway, he didn’t matter, not like other people did, not like someone like Wren did. His feelings didn’t matter, he learned that a long time ago, learned that he should just stop feeling all together, but of course it wasn’t that easy.

 His chest ached, a deeper pain than the beating, a pain that wouldn’t be fixed with rest or painkillers or anything like that. His breath hitched as a sob caught in his throat, though he knew he couldn’t hold it back much longer, tears already spilling down his face, stinging as they ran into open scrapes, irritating the wounds. He didn’t even care to wipe them away, it wouldn’t do anything, now that he’d started he couldn’t stop. 

 It isn’t fucking fair, He thought, he wanted to scream it, he wanted it to be known that he didn’t deserve this. He had long since become accustomed to the anxiety and pain that came with being alive, but sometimes he wished it would all just stop. He couldn’t even remember what it was like to live normally, without a constant threat hanging over his shoulders, always having to anticipate the next time he’d be hurt, or have to hurt somebody. He vaguely knew that he used to be okay, he used to be happy to wake up, to just exist, but he couldn’t remember that feeling anymore, so much time had passed he couldn’t remember what it felt like to be human.

 It had been a long time since he’d broken like this, unable to hold back his sobs. His hands fell limply at his sides, no point in trying to hold back tears anymore. He was shaking from how hard he was crying, struggling to catch his breath, each quick inhale resulting in a broken sob. He wished he could be quieter, he knew that Wren could hear him, but he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Honestly, this had been a long time coming.

 He didn’t know how he put up with it all this time, how he forced it down every single day. It had been eating away at him for long enough, as strong as he tried to be, especially with Wren around, he just couldn’t. Once this had passed, no more heaving breaths and broken cries, he would realize he needed this, but he couldn’t think that far ahead, right now all he was aware of was the absolute despair rising in his chest and tears flowing freely down his face. 

 He jumped at the sound of a knock on the door, startling him into silence for just a moment. He should’ve known this would happen, he hadn’t even tried to keep himself quiet, and realizing how stupid and pathetic he’d been made him tear up all over again, though this time he tried to wipe them away with the back of his hand.

 “Zander…?” Wren asked softly, concern evident in his voice.

 “Y-yeah?” He grimaced at the sound of his voice, broken and hoarse from sobbing. 

 “Open the door. Please?” 

 He hesitated, thinking it over. On one hand, Wren already knew he’d been crying, he couldn’t exactly hide that. On the other hand, he wished he could, wished he could ignore that fact just a moment longer. He knew he’d have to leave eventually though, as much as he wished he could just curl up on the bathroom floor and cry until he fell asleep, he couldn’t do that. He had to face him, sooner or later. 

 He got up and moved to the side enough to open the door, still not trusting himself to stand. He felt weak and dizzy, his head pounding. He couldn’t tell if it was from the beating or from the crying, but he figured it could’ve been both. He tiredly looked up at Wren, who appeared just as concerned as he sounded. He lowered himself to his knees when he saw Zander was still on the floor, and as Zander opened the door further, all he did was hold his arms out to him.

 Normally Zander would’ve refused. He was used to doing this for other people, he was used to doing it for Wren, but for him to receive this kind of comfort… it had been a long time, and honestly, it sounded so good right now. He found himself almost falling forward in his rush to latch on to the smaller man, almost knocking Wren back as he wrapped his arms around him, face buried in his shoulder. He finally allowed himself to relax as Wren hugged him tightly, one hand gently rubbing his back. 

 “You don’t… you don’t have to be alone, you know that?” Wren said softly, the words bringing tears to his eyes all over again. He bit his lip as he nodded, hoping the movement would be enough for Wren. “Zander… you’re so strong, all the time, and that… it must be exhausting… it’s okay to let yourself cry…” He told him. Zander pulled back just slightly so he could look at him, letting go of his tight grip on him only to rub at his eyes with the back of his hand.

 “I don’t… I don’t need to, I’m fine, I don’t… I don’t know what happened…” He scowled. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with me…”

 “Why not?” Wren asked, eyebrows raised. “You deal with me all the time, I think I can return the favor.” Since Zander had pulled away he got to his feet, holding his hand out to help Zander up. He seemed hesitant to take it but did so anyway, slowly standing up, even as his legs threatened to give out again, finally able to focus on the dull, aching pain from Cain stomping down on his shin. Wren helped him limp over to the bed, sitting down and motioning for Zander to lay down, even allowing him to rest his head in his lap. 

 The position was already enough to help him relax, but when Wren started to gently run his fingers through his hair he swore he would break down again, the touch almost unnervingly soft and gentle. It was one that was more familiar to him, but usually came from Vanessa, and only once he’d given in to her. This was Wren though, and Wren would never hurt him, never use him, he knew that. Wren was kind, and caring and he was safe.

 He was the closest thing to safety he’d had in a long time, and that was enough for Zander to allow himself to break all over again, knowing it was safe to do so. He could cry, scream and wail as much as he wanted, but he didn’t have to do it alone, Wren gently rubbing his arm with one hand, the other carding through his hair, simple touches that were so, so comforting to him, and he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d received comfort like this. 

 He almost forgot that he even needed comfort like this.

[1heartfanfics]

Nathan’s Birthday

So Nathan’s birthday was about a month ago, on June 26th and I was planning to do this bday fic for him but clearly that didn’t happen so I’m doing it now even though it’s way late. 

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“Good morning babe, happy birthday!!” Hazel said excitedly as Nathan entered the kitchen. 

“Happy birthday Nate!” Zander echoed with a smile. 

“Aw thanks guys,” Nathan replied, grinning at his girlfriend and his younger brother, who were already up and making pancakes, his favorite. “You guys didn’t have to do this,” he continued.

“Everyone should get a special breakfast on their special day,” Hazel smiled, bringing over a plate with two pancakes over for him. 

“Thank you babe,” he said. Hazel leaned over and gave him a kiss, then walked back into the kitchen to get a plate for herself. 

Zander sat down opposite him and pushed a small wrapped present across the table. Nathan smiled, it had been so good to have his brother around, although he knew it was only a temporary solution. He worried about Zander so much normally and he always missed him, so he was grateful for this time that they got to live together. He couldn’t help but worry about what came next though, him and Hazel couldn’t afford to support a 14 year old forever. 

“Here you go, open them up,” Hazel set another wrapped gift down on the table when she came back in with a plate for her and one for Zander. Nathan took a bite of his pancakes, then picked up the gift from Zander. He opened the box to find a fancy pair of dress socks in red, his favorite!

“Aw wow thanks Zand, these look great!” he said, pulling them out with a smile. 

“You’re welcome,” Zander beamed, looking very proud of himself, although Nathan was sure that Hazel had helped him pick them out. 

He took a few more bites of his pancake before picking up Hazel’s gift. He unwrapped it and opened up the box, revealing a watch. It was an leather banded analog watch. His had broken a long time ago, and he’d been meaning to buy a new one, but had never gotten around to it. 

“Wow, Hazel thank you, this is awesome,” he said, quickly putting it on his wrist. 

“I’m glad you like it,” Hazel smiled, admiring how good the watch looked on his wrist. 

“These are awesome guys, seriously, and the pancakes are great, thank you,” Nathan said, feeling so incredibly lucky. With the way he grew up, he’d never had a birthday like this, not really. 

“I do have one more present for you,” Hazel said, biting her lip. “It’s kind of for both of you actually,” she said, glancing back and forth between Nathan and Zander. 

“Both of us?” Zander asked in confusion. It wasn’t his birthday, why would Hazel have gotten him something too?

“It’s not really a physical thing, and it’s not for sure yet, but...” Hazel trailed off, practically vibrating with excitement, which she was trying to contain for the sake of building anticipation.

“Just spit it out babe, you’re killing us,” Nathan joked, although he was beginning to feel a bit nervous to be honest. What the hell was she up to?

“I talked to my older brother, Dean, the other day... So Dean’s wife Tammy is a social worker, so she feels really passionately about kids, especially those who are in situations like what you guys have had to deal with. And they have always wanted to have kids but Tammy can’t because of some medical reasons,” Hazel explained. 

“Okay, go on,” Nathan urged. He had a suspicion of where this was going but he didn’t want to get his hopes up until he knew for sure that he was right. 

“They want to adopt you Zander,” she said quickly.

“Oh my god,” Nathan laughed, relieved that he’d been right. 

“What?” Zander asked in shock. 

“They still have to go through the whole process and of course I’ll take you to meet them sometime soon but I know you guys will get along great. And anyway it’ll still be awhile before anything happens, but they want you Zand. And that way he’ll be close and he’ll be with people you know and trust and-” Hazel was cut off when Nathan jumped out of his chair and practically tackled her with a hug. 

“Your brother is going to adopt me? Like they’ll be my new parents?” Zander asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah, kiddo, they’ll be your new parents,” Hazel nodded, reaching out to take his hand in hers. 

Nathan let go of her and walked around the table to Zander, wrapping his arms tightly around him as he cried tears of his own. He’d spent his whole life worrying about Zander and trying to keep him safe, and now, for the first time ever, he really would be safe. 

“They’re such good people Zand, you’re gonna be so happy there. They’ll take great care of you, I know they will,” Nathan cried, smiling at his brother as tears poured down both of their cheeks. 

“Everything is going to be okay you guys,” Hazel told them. 

She got up and moved to wrap an arm around both boys, feeling some tears of happiness welling in her own eyes as well. 

“Thank you Hazel, thank you so much, for everything,” Zander said, looking up at her. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Nathan and I both just want you to be happy,” she said.

“No Hazel seriously this is amazing, what you did, I can’t ever thank you enough for doing this. He was my responsibility, but yet you took it upon yourself and I-I don’t even know how to thank you,” Nathan stammered, almost at a loss for words.

“That’s my job love, to share your burdens. That’s what we do,” she nodded at him, smiling softly. She reached out to wipe the tears off of his cheeks as he smiled back at her. 

Nathan felt like he could breathe for the first time in weeks. Zander was out of that house forever, and he was going to be somewhere with people who would love him and take care of him. People who could afford to support him. 

“This is freaking amazing, Zand, seriously. They’re wonderful, I promise. And this way I’ll still get to see you lots,” Nathan turned to address his brother again, who hadn’t stopped smiling since Hazel had told them the news. 

“I love you so much, both of you,” Zander cried, swiping at the tears on his cheeks as he stood up to embrace them again.

They both wrapped their arms around the boy, all of them holding eachother for a few more moments, reveling in the happiness and the knowledge that this was all going to be okay. Nathan really should’ve known that Hazel would figure it out. She had promised to keep Zander safe, and not to let anything happen to him, and Hazel did not take promises lightly. He owed her the world. 

[tara-the-quiet-bookworm-2016]

Cycle Chapter Four

Authors Note- And I’m back again dragging along Chapter 4 of this fic. Now, this is where things will get pretty nasty, this chapter will feature scenes of really violent death, blood, broken bones and gore.As well as non-con drugging and kidnapping. So  if neither of the things I listed is your cup of tea then maybe you might want to take your leave here and now. But if you’re okay with stuff like this then read on! <3

Chapter Four: Disappear 

Connor enjoyed this, enjoyed the hunt. He thought as he lurked in the shadows, Watching as Zander went about his day, seemingly unaware that he was being hunted. And Connor enjoyed that, this game of cat and mouse he was playing with the smug looking human. Well, Zander wouldn’t be looking to smug or sure of himself when his life came to a gruesome end at Connors hands. Connor was sure of that. 

A week after he had first broken into your apartment Connor had spent what little free time he had planning and plotting. And not just about how to take care of Zander, but he also spent time planning on how he would take you away as well, he couldn’t keep you captive in your apartment so Connor had gone through the motions of acquiring you a new home so to speak. One where no one would find you. But he would think on that later, pushing himself off of the wall he had watched as Zander left the quaint little coffee shop he frequented almost every day.

He was going to his job at the law firm he worked at, and then he was going to meet up with you though he had informed you that he might be late. He was wrong...For tonight he wouldn’t show up at your place at all...or ever. Watching as he got into his car Connor decided to call it a night, he still needed to work things out before he did anything. Besides, he needed to check out the new apartment he obtained, it would be perfect to keep you, and over the weeks he had slowly decorated it to resemble your old one. He was certain you’d love it in due time.

Pushing himself off the wall, he got into a cab and drove off. Leaning back in the seat Connor looked out the window at the city sped on by, images of you filling his mind, his most favorite memory was when he broke into your apartment again a few nights ago. When you were fast asleep, if he had thought you were gorgeous before, you were absolutely breath-taking asleep, so peaceful, so unaware of the danger before you. 

Did you ever think that all those times when you were working with him that you would become his obsession? That someday you would be in his clutches? You were his, Y/N. You just didn’t realize it yet, but you would, and as much as he cared for you, Connor wasn’t going to be gentle with you if you chose to fight him, or if you chose to escape. He knew you would fight, you would fight and fight until you couldn’t anymore, he guessed that was another thing he loved about you. You were strong-willed, you wouldn’t break down so easily. 

Connor remember spending hours watching you sleep, loving the way the moonlight spilled into your room through the window and accentuated your delicate features. The light gleaming off of the necklace you wore, the very same one Zander had gifted you. It seemed to be your favorite, and Connor had discovered you had a lot of jewelry, necklaces with different animal shaped things hanging from them, multi-coloured butterflies, dolphin shaped ones of all colors, as well as cats and various others ones as well. But the dragonfly one seemed to be your favorite. 

Or it had been until Connor had quietly slipped it off of you while you slept, it now sat nestled in in his jacket pocket, something to remind him of you. Upon thinking of it Connor pulled it out of his jacket pocket, toying with it as the cab continued to drive, the light glinting off of the light green dragonfly. This wasn’t the only thing he had snatched from you during one of his night-time visits to your apartment, in fact by now he had a small collection of your stuff. 

Ranging from the picture of you and your dog from your college days he had found out, one where you were home from school and spending time with your now deceased parents, they had taken that picture a few days before the car crash that had taken their lives. The next thing he had stolen was a small glass figurine shaped like a swan, then one of your old notebooks filled with nearly illegible scribblings to...Connor flushed, a pair of lacy black panties that had been tossed carelessly on to your desk one night when you and Zander had decided to be intimate one rainy evening.

Connor knew he should have left, should have stopped watching through your bedroom window the moment the two of you stumbled into the room, lip locked, Your hands clawing at Zander’s expensive suit, not that the man in question seemed to care, his hands pulling your blouse off of you the both of you laughing when a few of the buttons popped off. Pulling away slightly you shrugged the now ruined blouse off and dropped it to the floor, a sultry smile on your lips as you hooked your thumbs into your skirt. Slowly you pulled it down, revealing the very same panties that were now tucked away in his jacket pocket. But, still he remember everything that night, he remembered those soft, sweet noises you made as Zander fucked you.

Anger welled in his chest as he watched as you wrapped your legs around the man as he slammed you against the wall near your bed, you nails digging into his back as you cried his name countless times, anger because it should have been him that was making you cry out, it should have been him whose name you should be crying out as your back arched with every thrust. It should have been him! No... Connor thought darkly, listening to you cry out as you came. It would be him someday soon it would be his name you called out as you writhed underneath him. Upon coming to that thought he pushed himself off the wall as the two of you collapsed onto the bed in a boneless heap. Whispered ‘I love you’s’ were the last thing he heard as he disappeared into the shadows.

“WE HAVE REACH OUR DESTINATION.”

An automated voice spoke, breaking Connor out of his thoughts. Blinking a few times Connor realized he was sitting outside the apartment. Opening the door he looked up at the building. He would have you eventually he knew that much, as he knew that before long Zander would be just another missing person, but for now he had to behave and be a good boy and play the role of good little android. After all you of all people would know the truth about him soon...

LATER THAT DAY

This was far more fulfilling that hunting Deviant’s. Connor thought as he lurked in the shadows, watching and waiting for Zander to make an appearance. He should be getting off of work any moment now, Connor knew that after work Zander would be heading to your place for a movie date, but little did either of you know was that poor Zander would end up standing you up. After all Connor couldn’t stomach the idea of you being intimate with anyone but him. So, here he was hiding in the shadows outside the law firm he worked at. Waiting, anticipation forming in the pit of his stomach as he thought his plan over, he was going to follow Zander for a little, then when the time was right he would strike, while he was out he had obtained some chloroform as well as a small storage unit.

A place where the fun would begin well...Fun for him, Zander on the other hand wouldn’t find much fun in tonight’s activities. Before Connor could divulge in that train of thought he heard the door open, and out stepped his target, his phone glued to his ear, no doubt chatting with you about tonight’s activities as he walked to his car. Connor smirked, he had made sure to tamper with Zander’s car so that it wouldn’t start, leaving the man with no other choice than to find another way to your place.

“The fuck?...” He heard Zander mutter, as he tried in vain to start his car, Opening his door he stepped out of his car, and gave it a disgusted look as he slammed the door shut.

Connor smirked, things were going exactly as he had planned. Stepped out from behind the bushes he had been hiding behind he began to tail Zander. His thirium pump thundering in his chest in excitement. This...this was far more fulfilling than hunting deviants, he thought. His eyes glued on his target, he could never have this much fun hunting deviants, after all... he could never get the same thrill hunting deviants as he did Zander. Speaking of which, Connor jerked himself out of his thoughts as he spotted the perfect opportunity to strike. 

Seeing that Zander had stopped and was currently waiting for the bus Connor struck. Emerging from the shadows Connor placed the soaked rag firmly over the man’s face, holding on tight as he continued to struggle before...finally after what seemed liked forever Zander succumbed. His body going limp, eyes sliding shut as Connor let him drop to the ground. Shoving the rag back in his pocket he smiled down at his prey, now for the fun part. Casting a glance around he was surprised to see no one around as he struggled to heave Zander over his should, which he managed to do with some difficulty, and soon disappeared into the shadows.

________________________________________________________________

The first thing Zander registered was a sharp, throbbing pain in his head, followed by nausea, as his stomach lurched followed by him spewing the contents of his stomach all over the slate grey floor as well as his feet, it was then he noticed he was clad only in his underwear.

“What the fuck...?” he slurred, confusion gripping him as he tried to focus on the area around him. “W-where am I?” he murmured.

“I see that you’re awake.” A cheerful sounding voice spoke up from behind him.

Forcing his head up he tried to focus on the figure that had come into view, managing to take note of the plain white dress shirt the figure wore with the sleeves rolled up. Watching as the figure eased himself into a seat across from his Zander then noticed the blinking LED on the man, no the androids temple, which was currently flashing a bright blood red.

“Wha- the fuck is going on? Zander asked, trying in vain to shake off the remnants of the drugs, his vision slowly clearing until he could get a better look at the android across from him. 

“That’s a good question, isn’t Zander?” the android asked, crossing his legs, hands clasped on his lap. “What’s going on is you’re going to die.”

Hearing those words was like a someone dumped a bucket of cold water over him, chilling him to the bone, eyes wide he looked at the android. Had he some how wronged this plastic? In all honesty Zander never really gave androids so much as a thought, sure he never really cared for them, they unnerved him but unlike many people he never went out of his way to harm them for the sake of harming them. 

“Look, man if I did something to upset you I’m sorry-”

“But you did do something to upset me, Zander.” The android said. “Granted it was something you were unaware of, but never less you need to die. Once you’re gone...she’ll be with me, I just know she will...”

She?

Zander blinked, confusion shining in his eyes. “What are you talking about?” he asked. “Who are you talking about?” 

“Y/N.”

Zander’s heart seemed to stop as your name left the androids lips. It wanted...you? He couldn’t really wrapped his head around that idea for, some reason, why would an android want you? Why? 

Hearing the chair creak he looked up, and saw the android moving towards him, not before grabbing a tray covered into a light blue cloth, and placing it on the table beside Zander.

“Wha-what are you going to do to me?” he choked out, his eyes glued on the table beside him, before looking up at the android, noticing the dark look on its nearly unreadable face.

A cold smile forming on Connor’s lips as he looked down at him, a thrill going through his body at the sight. Seeing Zander terrified and trembling before him was...addictive. However as much as he would have loved to have more time to toy with Zander he did have other things he needed to do before the night was over after all. 

Turning his attention to the tray beside him, his smile widened when he pulled the cloth off and heard Zander let out a terrified whimper when he saw what lay across the stainless steel tray. Knives and various other blades lay on it, along with a pair of pliers. 

Feeling his blood run cold Zander turned his gaze back to Connor, as he turned back to him. “I need Y/N. I want Y/N. And the only way she will be with me is with you gone.” Connor all but growled as he closed in on Zander, ignoring the man’s pleas...

*Hours Pass.*

Blood seemed to stain every corner of the small room as Connor slowly, meticulously cleaned off the blades he had used on Zander. The man in question, the very one who had your heart, whom you seemed to love was now nothing more than a bloody, lifeless mess. Lifeless eyes stared at him accusingly, mouth filled with broken teeth opened in a silent scream, blood and piss and shit stained Zander’s underwear, and to think... Connor thought with a smirk, that he thought Zander would have at least retained his dignity through the torture session.

But apparently not as he man was already screaming his lungs out when Connor had snapped his wrist before breaking his fingers one by one. He was thankful that this place was pretty abandoned so no one would hear him and come running. After all, despite everything Connor didn’t want to harm anyone else unless absolutely necessary. 

Connor had to admit though that Zander did last longer than he had thought, even when Connor started cutting into the man’s flesh, but despite all of this Zander never begged, Connor gave him that, he screamed his lungs out like no tomorrow, and when Connor would stop he would weep, in fact the only time he would beg was when he mentioned you. When he pleaded with Connor to not hurt you.

Connor had been appalled, what made Zander think he would ever think of hurting you?  No, he’d never hurt you, he only wanted to punish Zander for putting his hands on you, for tarnishing you, for loving you. Loving you the same way Connor loved you, and in time you would love him the same way. Now that Zander was gone you would need someone to be there for you, wouldn’t you?

Placing the blade down, he looked to the body, Connor really did go to town on him, didn’t he? Gashes littered his body along his arms and legs, as well as his chest and face. His wrists hanging limply, his fingers swollen after he had broken them. His tongue lay to on the floor near his victims feet, Connor had cut it out when he had gotten tired of the man’s pathetic babbling. This in turn caused Zander to spray blood over Connor’s clean white shirt and tie. He had hoped that he would be able to head to your place after this, but now he had to get changed.

Upon thinking that Connor had felt his anger rise, which caused him to momentarily forget the blade he had welded and had beaten him so severely, breaking the man’s ribs as he did so, the satisfying sound of bones breaking was like music to his ears. Before he took up his blade once more, remembering burying the blade in the man’s stomach and chest, over and over until Zander’s cries ebbed and the man lay still, dead.

Now. Connor thought running his hand through his hair, smearing blood through it as he did so. Now, you would soon be his. Smiling to himself Connor busied himself with cleaning up, sure, he was unable to leave such things as finger prints or DNA unlike a human but he didn’t want to leave anything behind, perhaps it something Connor had picked up while investigating the few crimes scenes he had been one. Especially one’s involving Deviant androids, in fact! 

Storing the now clean blade in his bag Connor got an idea, something that would keep the cops busy. Biting down on his bottom lip he used Zander’s blood and wrote on the wall, in the same Cyberlife font wrote I AM ALIVE.

Taking a step back Connor nodded to himself, and turned away, excitement filling him as he made his way to the door, his night was far from over after all.

________________________________________________________________

You were getting worried, Zander should have been here hours ago. You thought as you paced around your apartment wearing a light green dress you had bought a few days ago for just such an occasion, one you thought matched the necklace you wore perfectly. Or...would have if the damn thing hadn’t gone missing, which was odd considering you hardly ever took it off. Picking up your phone one more you texted Zander.

(Where are you, are you okay?)

No response. No response to this or any other text you had sent, same for your phone calls, all unanswered...

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard knocking on your door, relief washing over you as you moved towards it. That must be him! He must’ve had been super busy to not respond to you calls or messages, you would chew him out for that-

“Connor?” you asked, confusion in your voice as you looked to the android standing before you.

Connor stood before you looking grim faced. “Hello, Y/N.” He greeted.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Y/N, do you know a Zander Marlow?”

“Yes, why do you ask, Connor?” you asked, uncertain where Connor was going with this, or even why he was at your door.

“I’m afraid there has been an accident, and Mr. Marlow has been hurt-”

“Hurt?” You choked out, so now it all made sense, why he had never called or contacted you, he must be at the hospital, or on his way there. Not waiting for Connor to elaborate you rushed further into your apartment. “Never mind, just tell me where he’s at and-”

However before you could utter another word, you gasped as you felt Connor press himself against your back before wrapping an arm around your waist. 

“C-Connor?” you muttered, confusion gripping you as he buried his face in your hair, shushing you slightly. “Connor, what are you doing?” you asked, as you tried to pull away from him.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Now that you’re with me everything will be alright....” He told you.

Before you could say anything more, you felt a chloroform soaked rag forced over your mouth and nose. Letting out a muffled cry you struggled to pry his hand off of you, but as you could imagine your strength was nothing compared to Connor’ s as darkness slowly swallowed you up and you went limp in Connor’s arms.

Connor smiled as he lifted you up, cradling you in his arms, your head resting against his shoulder, finally after all this time you were finally his...

[ilovemygaydad]

No One [part 1]

from the friends in dark places au

pairing: toxic roman/oc

summary: someone from school makes an insensitive joke that sends Roman spiraling into some old memories of past trauma

WARNINGS: (none of the sexual elements are explicit, merely mentioned and implied) non-consentual sex, sexual assault, date rape drugs, drug usage, implied underage sex, blackmail (in the form of cp), transphobia, transphobic slurs, forced coming out, misgendering, food mentions, rebellious behavior, insensitive comments, crying, physical assault, PTSD, and possibly something else

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter @band-be-boss-blog @theunoriginaldaisy

a/n: jsyk, it’s totally okay to ask for a modified chapter if you need it or if i need to add tags! i get it, and it’s no problem for me to quick edit a chapter or whatever :) also, feel free to send requests or questions that you have!

a/n 2: hey so this story is super dark and shitty, so please read with caution! i’m happy to summarize for anyone who needs it!!!

first of main plot - companions

consider buying me a coffee (please)

-

October 19, 2016

Roman shut the door to the practice room silently. He knew each nook of the choir room, including which doors were particularly loud. His back hit the door with a soft thud, and his tears softly dropped onto the carpeted floor. He slid to the ground and let out a choked sob.

Luke. Luke knew that what he said was terrible and awful.

“You could pat Roman Patrick on the head, and he’d accuse you of sexual assault.”

“Ro? Mrs. Taylor told me that you’re in here… Are you okay?” Patton’s muffled voice asked from the other side of the door.

“I’m fantastic, Patton! I just needed a few minutes of quiet before I tried to traverse the parking lot to grab my costume from Hannah’s car.” Roman tried to insert as much of his normal flare into his speech, but he knew that it fell flat.

“Roman, let me in.”

The crying teen begrudgingly stood up and flung the door open. A worried Patton stood opposite him, and Roman was well aware that his puffy eyes and wet cheeks did nothing but make his friend more upset. He sighed, gesturing for Patton to come inside.

After the door was closed, Patton spoke up again; his voice was very quiet. “Was it Luke?”

“Yeah,” Roman admitted.

“What did he say?”

“‘You could pat Roman Patrick on the head, and he’d accuse you of sexual assault.’”

Patton paced the small room. “That douchebag! Are you fucking kidding me? He can try to ruin my life, sure, but making fun of your abuse in front of you when he knows how easily it triggers you is just too far!”

“Patton, it’s fine—“

“No, it isn’t!” Pat cried, throwing his arms out in fury. “It’s terrible! He knows what happened to you, and he is in no place to be talking about falsely accused sexual assault!”

“It’s in the past…”

---

June, 2014

Roman quietly slid through his cabin’s window into the quiet night. He normally wasn’t one for this level of rule-breaking, but he was in love! He’d do almost anything for Ethan, and that meant a lot.

Two of his fingers were kept over the head of his flashlight as he made his way to the pier, only allowing a small sliver of light to shine out so that he could avoid twigs. Roman was so excited to have found someone who liked him back that he didn’t care about the consequences. He was going to be a freshman, after all, so it would make sense to begin to have relationships, right? Ethan was kind, caring, and funny—everything Roman wanted in a guy.

“Roman! Oh, good. I thought you weren’t going to show up,” Ethan whispered, a smile creeping on his face.

“Of course I’m here! What do you think of me? I’d never leave you hanging, dearest.” Roman gave Ethan a deep kiss. When they pulled apart, Ethan held up a finger to signify for Roman to wait, bringing a tiny thermos from behind his back.

“Salted caramel hot chocolate. I know how much you said you like caramel.” He passed it over, untwisting the lid as he moved. Roman took a huge sip, the cold of outside already sleeping through his pajama pants and shirt.

Ro coughed at the intense salty flavor. “Jeez, E, that’s really fucking salty. Good thing I’m really cold, or this would completely go to waste.”

Ethan smiled brightly, though Roman couldn’t quite place the emotion he got from it. They chatted for about twenty minutes before Roman began to sway on his feet. He was so tired and dizzy. He blinked a few times, shaking his head to try to collect himself.

“I, uh… I think… I think I’m gonna…” Roman mumbled, trying to get the slurred words he was thinking out of his mouth. He couldn’t seem to control his movements, and not a second later, he felt the hard ground hit his side. The last thing that Roman saw was Ethan’s evil smile as he drifted off to sleep.

---

Roman woke up with a foggy mind. What had happened last night? He remembered going to meet Ethan and drinking hot chocolate and then… Nothing. He couldn’t remember a single thing that’d happened.

The teen blinked a few times, trying to make some sense of his surroundings. They were bright, that much was obvious, and he was still wearing his binder. Someone stepped up to him, gently placing a hand on his arm. He flinched back from the touch. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t want anyone touching him.

“Hey, sweetheart, I’m sorry. It’s Nurse Elizabeth. A few campers found you by the pier drugged to hell in just boxers and a t-shirt, and from the looks of the campsite, I think you were sexually assaulted last night,” said the young woman in front of him, frowning deeply.

Roman wanted to throw up. Ethan had used him. Someone he thought he could trust. Someone he loved. And Ethan probably knew his secret, too. Oh, god.

“Hey! It’ll be okay. Just get some rest. You can answer questions later.” Elizabeth made her way to the door of the infirmary, turning at the door. “Someone’s been waiting to see you since the news got out. Would you like me to let him in?” Roman nodded half-heartedly. He heard a person greet the nurse before heading over. Ro didn’t look up to see who it was, preferring to pick at his fingernails instead.

A rough hand clasped at his face and ripped his gaze up. A muffled scream escaped Roman’s mouth as he locked eyes with Ethan, who had intense fire in his eyes. “You’d better not tell a soul that it was me, or your little secret will be let out, tranny whore!” Roman fought against Ethan’s grasp, but he was still too weak from being drugged. “I hope I’ve made myself clear. If I hear a word about this little exchange, either, I have some pretty outing evidence to show the camp. You’re my bitch now, Patrick.”

Ethan tore his hand away from Roman’s face and stormed out of the infirmary, leaving a panicked Roman in the bed. Oh no. This was worse than he’d thought. He had two options: he could tell everything to Elizabeth and subsequently be outed as trans to everyone in the camp, or he could do whatever Ethan said and keep his gender identity a secret. Neither was good. Roman shoved his face into the thin pillow and cried himself back to sleep. Maybe he could wake up from this nightmare.

---

January, 2008

Roman toyed with his hands a few times before stepping courageously into his parents’ office. He could do this. He swung his ponytail over his shoulder and adjusted his cargo shorts and T-shirt.

His mom was the first to notice his appearance. “Oh, Rosie! What happened to your dress?”

“She’s just changed, honey. She probably didn’t want to wear it anymore,” his father said, typing away at his computer.

“I wanted to talk to you and Mom about something important, Daddy. I… I, uh… Never mind, it’s stupid.” Roman turned back and started out of the office, but his mom stopped him mid-step.

“Rosalina, you can tell us anything; you know that. What’s wrong, honey?” Mrs. Patrick clicked her laptop closed and prompted her husband to do the same. Slowly, Roman turned to them; the sound of his sneakers squeaking on the wood floor was the only noise for a few moments.

“I’m a boy!” Roman blurted out. “I don’t want you to call me a girl anymore. I want to be called Roman, not Rosalina or Rosie. And more importantly,” Roman pulled a pair of kitchen shears from one of his many pockets and raised them, hacking his entire ponytail off and letting it fall to the floor. “I don’t want to look like a girl anymore. I am a prince, not a princess.”

His parents sat with astonished looks on their faces. Oh, Roman had messed up. He had taken his dramatics too far for once. His parents were going to be angry at him, and he’d never be called what he was. He’d be Rosalina forever.

“Alright, Roman. Welcome to the family.” His mother smiled brightly at him. There was no malice in her eyes, nor in his father’s.

“You know, Ro, I’ve always wanted a son. And you’re strong; you’ll be so good in the boy’s gymnastics league.” Mr. Patrick stood and scooped his son into his arms, hugging him tightly.

Thus, Roman Patrick had been born.

---

Roman had been so excited to go in to school on Monday to tell everyone that he was a boy and that his name was Roman. He was practically bouncing out of his seatbelt on the ride there. He ran into the school, barely saying goodbye to his mom, and skidded into his second grade classroom.

“Good morning, Rosie! How are you doing?” Mrs. Zander, the second grade teacher, greeted warmly.

“Actually, my name is Roman now, and I’m a boy!” Roman sat in his normal seat, but taped a piece of paper with “Roman” drawn on it in red crayon over his “Rosie” nameplate. Mrs. Zander looked at him, confused, but nodded. She went to her phone and made a few calls, looking quite serious, before going to everything in the room with “Rosie” on it and replacing them with a “Roman” label.

Students began to file in, many commenting on Ro’s new short haircut, to which he’d always respond, “I’m Roman now ‘cause I’m a boy!”

They looked at him as if he’d grown another head, but moved on without further comment. With each child, Roman’s enthusiasm lessened until he finally just gave up. Mrs. Zander made an announcement about Roman, and the kids just laughed. They got scolded, sure, but that didn’t actually stop them.

“Look at Rosie just wanting to get closer to the boys!”

“Rosie you can’t just decide to be a boy! You’re always gonna be a girl!”

“I don’t want to be friends with you anymore, Rosie. You’re a liar!”

The harmful comments continued for weeks. Finally, Roman couldn’t handle any more, and he begged his parents to take him out of school. Within a few days, they’d transferred him into an elementary school an hour away and moved into a temporary apartment nearby.

Roman walked into his new school nervously, taking his time to get to his new locker. It was nearly five minutes before he finally entered his new classroom.

“You’re new here, aren’t you?” a student asked. He wore a black polo and thick-rimmed glasses. It was the textbook nerd look.

“Um, yeah. I’m Roman,” he replied. Then, as if to clarify, he said, “I’m a boy.”

“Alright. My name is Logan, and I am also a boy. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” And then Logan walked off.

(Roman totally had a crush on the nerdy second grader, but he wouldn’t realize it for a long, long time.)

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Correct name and pronoun usage by everyone and new friends left and right. It was amazing! He didn’t get the opportunity to talk to Logan any more that day, and little did he know that he’d become too intimidated by the cute boy to talk to him, but he was still grateful for his first “friend.”

---

Summer, 2014

Roman spent two more months bending to Ethan’s every whim to protect his skin. It didn’t feel much like protection, though. He was disgusted with himself, but he couldn’t go through the rejection and hatred that followed telling people that he’s transgender.

Slowly, he withdrew from most of his camp friends. It started with not allowing them to touch him, and then simply not talking to them. Each time Ethan’s fingers found their way across Roman’s bare skin, he felt like throwing up.

It’s better this way, he told himself.

It wasn’t.

No one found out. No one ever knew. No one felt the pain.

No one except Roman.

part 2

[angel-scythe]

15 questions

I was tagged by @sheerpandamonium and that could be interesting so... let’s take a look together?  Question 1: Are you named after someone?

Named in tribute to a mecha in the fandom that made me start writing. Question 2: When was the last time you cried?

Rude!

(PS: It’s like Belgium’s weather, I just cried once... it just didn’t stop yet ~) Question 3: Do you have/want kids?

I want but I’ll never have any. I’ll just keep consider my cats and pets like my children <3

Question 4: do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yeeeeeees ~

Question 5: What’s the first thing you notice about people?

That... they’re people?

More seriously, in real live, probably eyes? In internet, if they need to be loved or not.

Question 6: What’s your eye color?

Brown (lame. Next question!)

Question 7: Scary movie or happy ending?

Scary movie but the one that are so bad they become good. Or scary movie related to animals... (Make yourself a favor and go watch ‘Anaconda 2′ and ‘Arach Attack’)

Happy ending pisses me off. Except if people had really really really suffered, then happy ending is okay...

Question 8: Any specific talents?

Uh... People says I can write the style of any people I had once read.

Question 9: Where were you born?

In a hospital?

I’M BELGIAN!! And so damn proud of this!!

Question 10: what are your hobbies?

What is this pokémon?

Writing is my hobby and I do it hard. Really hard. Also, I like to draw and I’m a gamer (but I don’t allow me enough time for this). Oh and cuddle my babies pets <3 Real hobby!!

Question 11: do you have any pets?

*Glance at the previous replies* ... yes?

I’ve a cockatiel we found in the street behind trash. She’s called Willow (like in the movie Willow)

I’ve a rabbit. She’s called Sora (like in Kingdom Heart)

I’ve a Gecko leopard. She’s called Zander, after one of my friend’s character.

I’ve also a turtle, named Slashael (Slash x Raphael ship name from TMNT) and a turtoise, named Moderation because you need to drink with Moderation ~ both females And we have two cats, a ginger one, my true baby, my Angel, Loki. And a gray one, my little Princess Nataku (named after Gundam Wing).

Also we have four hens, and we had more animals(fish, hamster, guinea pig, canaries...) but... you know, cycle of live. And I let mosquitos, flies and spiders live in my room as long as butterflies and moths if they come. I gave them name and all...

I love animals.

Question 12: what sports do you play/have you played?

Uuugh, I’ve several illness so I don’t leave much my house but I used to do dance and I really loved that. One of my biggest regret is to had stopped that because I couldn’t stand the teacher who smocked in her class...

Question 13: how tall are you?

5′7 <3

Question 14: favorite subject in school?

Biology! I’m a science person!

Question 15: dream job?

This one: writer at home with my lovely pets around me. No tagging because I hate tagging people. Do if you like this? <3

[tiemeupspidey]

I’m OVER it mom...

Series: Tom Holland Dad Imagines

Request from @confusedascas : Can you write a fic about tom having a daughter who’s 11-12 and she’s upset about him being gone all the time for filming and one day she cries and he comes home and surprises her and he apologizes and cuddles please!!

Warnings: Swearing,Sadness,Cute Tom Dad

Word Count: 1,700+

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get to this, had other imagines to finish and my migraines have been killing me to the point where it hurts to look at anything bright :,( Sorry love xx

[Reader’s POV] (NOV 18th)

“Shae love you can’t get mad at him..” you sigh following your upset daughter. She’s been in an awful mood since her father called while we were in the car. 

    Tom has been gone for five months and called today saying he would be gone for another month. Shae was devastated and swore in the car. Tom got after her and she yelled back “You’re barely here, are you even my dad anymore?” which made Tom become silent then hang up. Shae doesn’t know how hard of a toll it takes on Tom not being able to come home. 

    Her birthday is in three days and all she wanted was Tom to come home like he promised. My lovely daughter is a Scorpio and takes promises very seriously. Tom tried apologizing but she told him to “fuck off.” Hence why tension rose in the Holland household.

“Shae Leanne Holland come here right now” you shout as she runs up the stairs to her room.

“No! He promised he would be back by my birthday.. I’m not coming out of my room!” her voice fills the air with the door slamming right after. 

    Letting out a defeated sigh you run your fingers through your hair. You hear feet coming down the stairs catching your attention. It was you seven year old son Zander and Tessa. His glasses falling down the bridge of his nose making him push it back up. Tessa walks over to you giving your hand a lick.

“Hi Tessa bear, how are you darling..” you give her head a rub as she licks your leg.

“Mumma, is Shae going to stay in her room forever?” he asks tilting his head to the side pulling the book he had to his chest.

“I don’t know Zander… She’s just really upset daddy isn’t coming home like he said”  you explain pulling your sweater sleeves down as a chill runs through your body.

“Daddy can’t control it though..She’s a drama queen sometimes” Zander rolls his eyes at the situation. Sometimes you wonder if he really is seven.

“Do you want to help me make dinner love?” you ask Zander while walking towards the kitchen. Him and Tessa following right behind you.

“Yes Mumma, as long as I get to read the instructions!” He smiles setting down his book on the dining room table. His excitement making you laugh from the cuteness.

“Yes you can read the instructions my little genius”

-

[Zander’s POV]

“Tom, you need to calm down baby” 

“She’s just a little ma- I know she swore at you.. maybe if you didn’t swear so muc- I know I do too but you’re worse” Mumma’s laughter fills the air as she talks to Daddy on the phone.

    She was talking to Daddy in the living room on the couch. We ate dinner a while ago together while Shae stayed in her room. Mumma tried convincing her but she’s so stubborn. With all of our attempts shut down she stayed in her room. 

    Walking over to the cabinet I open it up. Finding my hidden sweets box I pull it out quietly. Making sure mumma was still talking I sneak some sweets into my pockets. Putting it back I hide it behind some of dad’s snacks.

    Sneaking out of the kitchen I walk quickly towards the stairs. Tessa spots me from her bed and gets up. She follows me sticking her nose to my pockets making me panic. Running up the stairs with her chasing me quickly.

Dammit I have little legs!

    Heading down the hallway I end up in front of Shae’s room that was across from mine. Knocking on the door I wait for her to open it. Tessa sits next to me as I wait for her to open it up. Knocking on the door again I heard her groan.

“What do you want? I’m not coming out mom!” Shae’s voice comes through the door.

“It’s me, Zander and Tessa” I say with a smile on my face pushing my glasses back up. The door opens to reveal my sister with a red nose and puffed cheeks.

“What’s up Zander,do you need another book?” she asks eyeing the one she leant me. I held the book to my chest shaking my head no.

“I brought you some chocolate.. you didn’t eat dinner so I thought I would bring you something sweet to pick you up…” I say pulling out the sweets from my pocket. I picked her favorite kinds out of my stash so she could be happy.

     A smile forms on Shae’s mouth as she eyes the chocolate. Placing the sweets in her hand she puts them in the pouch of her jumper. Her arms engulf me into a hug, my arms holding her tight. I didn’t like seeing Shae sad..

“Thank you Zander.. Now go and try to finish that book” She pulls back giving me a smile. Nodding I walk across opening my door to walk in. Tessa comes in shortly after I open it. 

“I know those are your favorites so enjoy sis” I smile closing the door to my room. Glad I could bring a smile to her face while she’s sad.

-

[Reader’s POV] (NOV 19th)

“Shae you have to come down to eat.. you can’t starve yourself forever.. I’m leaving this plate of food outside your door,better get it before Tessa does cause then you won’t have anything till lunch” you groan glaring at the wood door that was separating you from your angry pre-teen.

     She would get tired of being in her room at some point. We didn’t put a tv in her room, and she doesn’t have a cellphone. She has two bookshelf on either side of her bed. At some point she will get tired of reading..

     Setting the tray of food down on the ground outside her door. Shae’s door opens enough for her to grab the tray and slide it in. The door quickly closing right after. Sighing you walk off towards your bedroom. Frustration, anger, sadness all hit you at once as your body flops onto the bed. 

“God dammit Tom.. this is getting harder and harder each day you’re gone” tears slip down your cheeks staining the pillow under your head. Grabbing my phone out of my pocket I dial Tom’s phone number. Pressing the phone to my ear I wait for him to answer.

“Ello darling, how are you?” Tom’s voice making you smile instantly.

“I miss you so much.. I’m feeling so overwhelmed with Shae, I think I might go insane” tears start to form in your eyes again. You thought you had this parenting thing down but it wasn’t easy. 

“Please love don’t cry, I wish I could hold you right now.. Everything is going to be okay want to know why? Its because you’re my beautiful wife and a wonderful mother”

“It’s so hard without you here.. I wish you were coming home like you were supposed to now I can’t see your handsome face” you laugh slightly trying not to put a damper on the mood of the conversation.

“I’ll be home sooner than you know it, I know it’s hard baby but the Holland family will get through it like we always do” 

“I love you babe, I heard something downstairs in the kitchen I gotta go” Getting off the bed you wipe your tears away with the sleeve of Tom’s pullover.

“I love you more darling, talk to you soon.. keep that smile on your beautiful face for me please” you knew he was smiling at this point.

“Will do, bye baby” pressing end I stick my phone in the pocket of my jeans.

-

“What time are you going to be home darling?” Tom asks as you pull out of the parking lot.

“Well Zander is currently with Paddy and I’ll be home in a few minutes, Shae is still in her room..” you explain turning the blinker on to make a right turn.

“Why is Zander with Paddy? Excuse me sir, thank you”  you could hear shuffling in the background and voices.

“He is currently teaching Paddy on something he learned from a book recently.. What are you doing babe?” you ask listening to the background sound from his end of the line.

“N-nothing love, but I gotta go.. I love you so much”  

“I love you more, goodbye” you smile ending the line by clicking the button on your steering wheel.

[Reader’s POV] (NOV 20th Shae’s birthday)

“Happy Birthday Shaeeee… Happy Birthday to youuuu!” Flashes go off from Nikki’s camera as Shae blows out her candles.

“Alright everyone who wants cake?” I ask holding up the cake knife.

“Me!” Sam and Harry say simultaneously then looking at each other with a smile.

“C’mon little dove, I know he would have wanted to be here” you set down the knife on the table. Seeing your daughters tears spill down her cheeks breaks your heart. Pulling her into a hug she cries into the crook of your neck. Dom takes over cutting her cake and passing out pieces.

“I just miss him so much mumma” she whimpers making another crack in your heart happen. She hasn’t called you that since she was little.

“Sorry I’m late everyone, did I miss cake?” a familiar voice fills the air. Looking over to see Tom in a black jumper, jeans, a beanie on and a suitcase beside him.

“D-Daddy?” Shae gasps looking over at him, her curls falling down her back. Her eyes opened in shock as she looked at her father standing in the doorway.

“Do you think I would miss my daughter’s thirteenth birthday?” Tom’s smile could have lit up the room,he looked so happy to be home. Shae gets up from her chair taking off and jumping into her father’s arms. The moment so pure and sweet, thankfully Nikki captured the moment.

“Happy Birthday Shae” Tom says giving her head a kiss.

“My wish came true” she cries into his chest as he ran his fingers through her curls. He swayed them side hugging her tightly. Tears were falling from your eyes watching the two of them. You were still in shock because he didn’t even fucking tell you he was coming home… Handsome bastard.

A/N: How did everyone like Zander, he’s so damn adorable :,)

[mockwrites]

⚜ for a angels and demons au (Hera/Hestia) sorry not sorry

They are created divine; they are sister souls, summoned forth from the same grace-aether, she and Colette are. Perhaps a more petty person could argue that they are as unlike as sisters can get: Colette possesses a hardness not found in Heidi — for Heidi loves excessively, and Colette sparingly.

But they complement each other in that way, Colette grounding Heidi’s rose-tinted romantic ideology with some much needed skepticism and realism, and Heidi lending a softer edge to Colette’s diamond edges.

Heaven is more cutthroat than most would expect, though, and Colette climbs further than she does this way, landing herself in the highest choir of angels, privy to more information, and an extra set of wings — for what, Heidi does not know.

But no matter how high Colette climbs, no matter where Heidi spends her days tending to those most in need of love, they always end up together. Colette takes days off to wander down on Earth with her, indulges her as she fawns over the golden strumming of harps, or the happy family at the park, because she would never stand in the way of Heidi’s happiness.

—

This is a universal fact.

the beginning of the beginning of the beginning—When they form out of the aether, Heidi runs her hand over Colette’s wings, marveling over the pearlescent white, the downy feathers, the sheer divinity.

“Ce- they’re so beautiful,” she says in wonderment.

Colette laughs and flicks Heidi’s wings. “They’re the same as your own,” she says, fond, exasperated.

“It’s different, okay?”

“Okay,” Colette answers, amusement still evident in her tone.

“It is,” she insists.

“I believe you,” she says, surrendering.

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

Heidi giggles so merrily that they both start laughing for no good reason, which is to say they laugh for the very best reason — for laughter. for happiness itself.

—

A senior angel is assigned to guide them; his name is Alexander, but he tells them to call him Zander. (Heidi resolves to do so, but ends up calling him Alexander most of the time.)

His skin sparks white-blue, and both she and Colette are enraptured by it, though admittedly for different reasons.

—

“Why does your skin do that?” Heidi asks one day.

Zander looks over, and gives a breath of a laugh, pausing in his conversation with Colette to humor her. “It’s just grace, Heidi. You two are new, so your grace doesn’t manifest itself like so just yet, but give it time.”

“So our grace will go blue, eventually?”

“No, grace manifestation is unique to everyone,” he hums thoughtfully. “I’m looking forward to seeing what you two present as,” he says, though he only meets Colette’s eyes.

Heidi would never stand in the way of her sister’s happiness, and that happiness is the pink that touches her cheeks as Zander flashes her a bright smile — so she stays silent, hangs back, drops down to Earth to give Colette her space, her happiness.

—

Colette finds her not ten minutes later, brushing her hand over a baby’s head as it fusses in its sleep.

“Dee!” She hisses, making her way closer, picking her way over the toys even though their presence won’t physically disturb them. “There you are. You disappeared so suddenly.”

“I’m pretty sure Alexander didn’t want your older sister tagging along,” she says, laughing, reaching out to cup Colette’s cheek fondly.

“Zander,” Colette notes absentmindedly.

“Is that not what I said?” She frowns.

“Never mind,” she says. “What are you doing here?”

“I decided to take a small stroll, and I could feel her distress from where I was, so I decided to check in,” Heidi answers, stroking another gentle hand over the baby and sighing as it continues fussing. “Do you know any lullabies?”

“Heidi, you know they can’t interact with us.”

“I’m sure that we have some presence, at the very least.”

Colette sighs. “Zander doesn’t think so. Let’s go, Heidi.”

Heidi paces around the crib, looking disappointed and stubborn enough that Colette curbs her next comment and waits patiently as she hums a tune and tries to recall the lyrics.

you are my sunshine, my only sunshineyou make me happy when skies are greyyou’ll never know dear, how much I love youplease don’t take my sunshine away…

—

The baby settles with a sigh and Heidi smiles down at it, contented. “There,” she says.

“What song was that?”

“Oh, just a little something I heard on the radio, I think.”

—

Colette’s grace presents as a regal sheen of gold, mirage-like as it shimmers into sight one second, rich and luxurious, and promptly fades into a subtle aura around her, an inherent and tenacious grace that screams divine right. Heidi’s presents as her idealistic sister, as always.

It’s rose-gold, a faint glimmer of warmth flush under metallic overtones.

Romantic, dreamy, but unyielding.

the beginning of the beginning of the end—It happens slowly, little hints here and there (Colette does not chase when she goes to Earth, and sometimes her grace flashes white like lightning, and and and). But the reveal is abrupt and just merely Colette announcing to the high choir that they have decided to merge graces, adopt traits and similarities, to work as one unit.

Her and Zander, that is.

Heidi isn’t surprised — after all, she has been mentally cheering her sister on, dropping hints to Zander about her moods, what to do, other small niceties like that.

There is, of course, a slight punishment, for angels do not love singularly, should not love singularly (but she has broken that rule regarding Colette for what may be eons now), but it deters neither of them.

—

She’s there in the ceremony, is the one to wrap their wrists together with gallows silk and bind them with holy water — Zander says he can think of no better person to do so, but she knows he only requests that she do it so that he can surprise Colette with it.

Either way, she cries when things are all said and done.

Colette runs a gentle hand down her wings, admires them, thanks her for everything — and today, their graces look so similar, gentle and rosy and flush with happiness. Colette has adopted a streak of white blue that flashes, and Zander’s sparks usually end in a shower of gold.

—

“Hey Ce,” she whispers, knocking her shoulder into her sister. “Happiness looks good on you.”

“You act like I’m not happy around you,” Colette scoffs, but there’s no bite behind her words.

“Don’t be difficult,” Heidi warns. “You never were a bratty little sister, so you’re not allowed to start now.”

Colette, in a moment of all-consuming happiness, sticks her tongue out. “Bite me,” she challenges.

Heidi turns and promptly bumps her front teeth into her sister’s wing.

“You-“

Heidi smiles innocuously.

“I can’t believe you.”

“I can.”

—

“Hey, Ce?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

—

“Hey, Dee?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

“Gross, go say that to Zander.”

—

Heaven is huge; it bustles with choirs and councils and factions of angels, legions of marooned souls after absolution, the peaceful dead- the list goes on.

Heidi finds that you forget people piece by piece.

First, she forgets what color Colette’s grace manifests as when she’s angry.. lonely.. happy.

Then she forgets about the way it’s sheer and layered over her skin instead of sparks like Zander’s.

And there’s always more to forget, until she knows more about Earth than she does her own sister — and upon that realization, she cries, and resolves to do better.

—

It takes one to resolve, but two in order to enact, and far more time passes than she would have originally liked before they get together again.

“Ce,” she calls eagerly, and Colette jumps like she’s been shocked.

“Heidi,” she says breathlessly, like she’s not sure if she’s awake or if she’s an apparition.

“It’s been too long,” she tuts, almost aggressively pulling Colette into a hug.

“It has,” she says, faster and fuller this time, an edge of desperation to her tone, like she’s been underwater and had just now started breathing again.

“You have two pairs of wings,” she says in surprise, pushing away from the embrace in shock, though her hands remain on Colette’s shoulders — to keep her close or maintain distance, she does not know at this point. “You got promoted? Ce, that’s so… this is huge news — excellent news but huge- I mean, gosh, congratulations. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Goodness gracious,” she says, pausing because she forgets to breathe in her excitement. “Ce! My baby sister! Highest choir!” She crows in a mix of pride and glee.

“You’re not mad?” Colette asks hesitantly, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. “I just got so caught up in the work.”

“Mad?” Heidi asks incredulously, laughing softly. “I could never be. Ce, I’m so proud of you. Come here,” she says warmly, wrapping her up in another hug.

—

“Are your wings different?”

“What?”

“They look different, is all.”

“Yeah, I have two pairs now, Dee.”

“No, they’re like… Ivory. Beautiful, but different.”

“Yeah, I guess they are,” she says, but it sounds a lot like please don’t ask.

the beginning of the end of the end—“How’s Zander?”

“Alright.”

“Okay,” she says, a little worried.

“Okay,” she says, firmly ending the topic.

—

“I found a black feather,” Colette says out of the blue one day.

Heidi doesn’t respond, doesn’t know what that means.

“I found a black feather,” she repeats herself, like she’s still processing it herself. “In Zander’s right wing.”

“Okay,” Heidi says warily, isn’t quite sure what it entails.

“Corruption, Heidi, it means corruption,” Colette says tiredly. “I don’t know how, I don’t know what he’s gotten into, but it’s not good.”

“Wing colors are subjective,” she says tentatively. “They don’t mean anything, right? I thought that was just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo.”

Colette laughs humorlessly. “No, Heidi. Oh, Heidi, no.”

She purses her lips. “Colette,” she starts.

“Dee,” she says, a little like she’s begging. “Don’t you see? Grace may be manifest personality, but our wings are purity. Mine are different because the little things started mattering more than just helping, Dee. Zander’s are turning black because,” she chokes. “Because… God save him. Because I’m not enough, or something,” she says, scrabbling for a reason.

“Do not,” Heidi says sharply, and Colette looks up at this, hasn’t heard this tone since their creation, since ever. “Don’t you ever say that about yourself,” she says again, this time softer.

“Your wings are so white,” she says wistfully, eyes misting and her mind leaps and bounds and lightyears away. “They’re so beautiful.”

“They’re the same as your own,” she echoes.

—

“There are more,” she says, and Heidi doesn’t need to ask what she’s referring to. “There are grey ones and black ones and I still love him anyway.”

She rubs Colette’s back in response and runs her fingers through the delicate down of her wings.

—

Zander is just

gone

one day.

—

Colette cries herself to a fitful sleep in her arms, and Heidi wishes she had two pairs of wings — the better to hold her with.

Instead, she sings a familiar string of lyrics that she should’ve forgotten.

you are my sunshine, my only sunshineyou make me happy when skies are greyyou’ll never know dear, how much I love youplease don’t take my sunshine away.

—

Colette nearly claws out her own feathers in a frenzy upon waking, scoring long blood-red furrows into their surface, cream and white mottled feathers falling to the ground, and Heidi just cradles her closer, trying to will the sparks out of her grace, wishing she could do more, be more, help more.

—

The white-blue stays like a hitch in her grace long after she calms down, and Heidi thinks, perhaps that’s all that love does: refuse to leave.

—

She doesn’t ask what happened to Zander.

She is sure she doesn’t want to know.

the end of the end of the end—She meets a human who clearly isn’t a human — and she knows because people are drawn to him like the sun in winter, like he’s iridescent amongst their utterly mundane bleakness, and a portion of her warns her that his smile looks like Zander’s.

She tells Colette this, on a whim, because she’s curious, because she never asked what happened to Zander.

“Heidi,” she sighs, and it sounds like a warning.

“Colette,” she responds in kind. “I have to know. I’ve never seen anything like it before, never even knew it was remotely possible.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about corruption, Heidi,” Colette says, and her tone says danger. “And perhaps it is better that way,” she finishes firmly, like she always is around the topic of Zander these days.

“We fear knowledge so much,” she sighs rebelliously. “I-“

“He’s a demon, Heidi,” Colette snaps because she’ll be damned if that doesn’t hit close to home, then sighs because Heidi’s rose-gold shine flickers and dims. “He’s nothing good,” she says, like she’s talking to a younger version of herself. “And you should stay away,” she says, softer this time, in a tone she doesn’t bother using for most others, because she knows Heidi will not deny her this. “Promise you’ll stay away, okay?”

“Okay,” she acquiesces.

Colette tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, watches her closely, like she’s considering something, like she’s weighing the happiness she once knew to the hurt she carries today.

“Someone might think that you’re the older sister, Ce,” Heidi jokes, to lighten the mood.

“You’re younger than me in many ways, Heidi,” Colette sighs, because Zander has forced her to grow in ways she did not want to. Involuntary growing pains.

—

Colette knows who it is Heidi has met on the streets.

She also knows that he can see just how white her older sister’s wings look, billowing behind her, like a welcome home sign, like an invitation to sink his claws in.

She hates that his are so black they warp light’s set path and draw it in.

Temptation.

—

She knows Heidi keeps meeting him, but her rose gold takes on more rose than it does gold, and it starts taking on streaks, like rays of sun.

—

Colette hates Paolo, but she loves Heidi more, and perhaps this is what stays her hand during the whole affair.

Heidi’s wings stay white as can be.

She fools herself into thinking that this means she’ll stay.

—

She fools herself into thinking this until the very last minute, when she can’t, when Heidi starts the agonizing process of stripping the bloody rose-gold-grace off of her skin, where it wills to stay; when Heidi begins to pull at the wings that want to stay firmly put on her back because Heaven does not like to lose angels.

Colette watches this process from afar, because she knows - she knows.

—

She knows that the whiter the wings, the harder it is to fall, because divinity is hard to remove if it does not want to leave in the first place.

Heidi passes out halfway through the process, tears fresh on the tops of her cheeks and feathers at her feet like snow.

—

“It hurts,” Heidi whispers, half-awake.

“I know, Dee,” Colette whispers back, fingers shaking as she starts peeling into the stubborn layers of her grace, choking back tears as white down feathers cloud her vision with each pull, systematically stripping the aether out of the hollows of her neck, the cavity of her chest, where it sits, beating rose-petal pulses, rioting against the grip Colette wraps around it as the final step.

God, she even sings that stupid song that Heidi hums under her breath all the time.

(… you are my sunshine, my only sunshineyou make me happy when skies are greyyou’ll never know dear, how much I love youplease don’t take my sunshine away. )

She sits there for a little while longer, Heidi’s grace fluttering like a little bird in the palm of her hand, tears streaking down her face.

She rips it out.

—

Heidi falls, wings shredding as Colette directs her towards Santorini, a flurry of white burning gold.

—

She can’t bring herself to look as Heidi begins the process of regrowing grace-aether, this time tainted by humanity, so she bullies a minor guardian angel - Parys, his name is - into watching over her.

By the time the first black feather shows, it’s over.

—

Heidi prays to her every night, sending her love into a void, blind worship, blind faith.

—

Colette visits in winter, in New York.

“Hey, Dee?” she calls, and Heidi whips around even though it’s the first snowfall.

Heidi cries, and people look at her like she’s crazy. “Yeah?” She whispers.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Heidi says in a rush, even as the tears freeze red tracks on her cheeks, the declaration tumbling from her lips in great white billows.

“Gross.”

—

“You’re not mad?”

“Mad? I could never be.”

[aylaxc]

1-70

I hate whoever sent this. 

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?I do with my mother. My father? Not so much. 

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?Alicia probably? I don’t even know. I don’t know the last time I said those words. If it wasn’t her, it was probably Joey. 

03: Do you regret anything?A lot of things. 

04: Are you insecure?More than you realize. 

05: What is your relationship status?Single and hooking up. 

06: How do you want to die?In my bed. 

07: What did you last eat?I don’t even remember. 

08: Played any sports?I’ve only danced. 

09: Do you bite your nails?I do not. 

10: When was your last physical fight?High school maybe?

11: Do you like someone?That’s a hilarious question

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?Yes

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?Yes

14: Do you miss someone?Yes

15: Have any pets?No.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?Numb.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?I’ve done more than that in a bathroom. 

18: Are you scared of spiders?Not really?

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?Yes

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?My room I think? I can’t really remember who the last person was. So, I’ll just stick with that answer. 

21: What are your plans for this weekend?Go see my sisters at home.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?N/A

23: Do you have piercings? How many?Just my ears. 

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?I was great in almost everything except for math. 

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?Who doesn’t?

26: What are you craving right now?Physical touching. 

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?Don’t think so. 

28: Have you ever been cheated on?Not to my knowledge.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?Nope. Don’t think so. 

30: What’s irritating you right now?Life. Is that a good answer? Everything is irritating me lately. 

31: Does somebody love you?Does family count?

32: What is your favourite color?Teal or Lime Green

33: Do you have trust issues?Doesn’t everyone?

34: Who/what was your last dream about?I was stranded on an island, by myself, no care in the world. Enjoying it actually. 

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?Danny. 

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?I try to, but it always backfires and hits me in the face. 

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?Neither. 

38: Is this year the best year of your life?More like the worst. 

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?Thirteen.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?Probably when I was drunk.

51: Favourite food?I don’t have a favorite. 

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?I do. And it’s fucked up.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?Listened to music, staring at the ceiling. 

54: Is cheating ever okay?No, never. 

55: Are you mean?I have my moments. 

56: How many people have you fist fought?Two. In high school. They deserved it. 

57: Do you believe in true love?I used to. 

58: Favourite weather?Between winter and spring. Where it’s sixty-five degrees out and windy. 

59: Do you like the snow?No. It’s nothing but a pain in the ass. 

60: Do you wanna get married?I don’t know. 

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?Depends on why they’re calling you that. 

62: What makes you happy?Dancing

63: Would you change your name?No. I happen to like my name. 

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?No. Not at all. 

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?I would ask him why and tell him to stop being an idiot. 

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?Yes. Zander.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?Alex? I’m not sure. I can’t remember what I did five minutes ago. 

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?I rarely have deep conversations with anyone. 

69: Do you believe in soulmates?Again -- used to. 

70: Is there anyone you would die for?Of course. Who doesn’t?

[spookyboywhump]

An image I had after This

***

Wren didn’t have it in him to care about what punishment Cain had just received. He was tired, he was in pain, and still felt he was unreasonably sad over the destroyed dress. Nicholas had come back without Cain, and after sometime he got into bed with Wren. He wasn’t content with leaving him as he laid, on his stomach clutching a pillow, but he was still gentle when he moved him to lay on his chest.

Nicholas was careful not to disturb his injuries, he rested one hand on his lower back, the other gently stroked his hair. Wren hated that he relaxed under his touch, the tension leaving his body as he let his eyes fall shut. If it weren’t for his hand so low on his back, he would’ve tried to convince himself he was just laying with Zander. The thought of that caused him to tear up, there was nothing more comforting after one of Cain’s tantrums than being held by his brother. He missed him so much right now.

“How are you feeling, Love...?” Nicholas asked softly.

“Mmn.... it hurts...” He murmured, his eyes squeezed shut as he tightly gripped Nicholas’ shirt in his hands. Everything hurt, from the injuries from the attack to the headache he had from crying so much. He just wanted to go to sleep at this point, to have a brief moment away from all this. “Hurts a lot...” He sniffled, trying so hard to hold back his tears. He wasn’t doing a very good job though, as he became more and more overwhelmed with his situation.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He sighed, gently playing with his hair. “You’ll be alright though, I promise. I’ll be ordering a replacement dress for you soon as well, I won’t let him take that gift from you.” He said, and Wren hated the brief twinge of gratefulness he felt. It made him feel worse about himself, he couldn’t hold back his tears much longer and he ended up hiding his face against Nicholas’ chest, trying to muffle his cries that way. The man didn’t seem surprised though, just holding him tighter as best he could without causing him any more pain. He sobbed loudly, his tears falling onto Nicholas’ white shirt. He almost felt like he was supposed to apologize, even as Nicholas “comforted” him. “It’s alright my love, you’ll be alright,” He told him, “Shhh, it’s okay now. I’ll take care of you.”

Despite their position, despite what Wren had just been through, Nicholas’ words were anything but comforting.

[spookyboywhump]

Okokok this was. Out of nowhere but holy shit I had fun with it. Some Bad Timeline content y’all, 100% Wren bullying

CW: Pet whump, dehumanization, noncon kiss, noncon touching (nonsexual), knife whump, branding (kind of), nightmares, strangulation mention

***

Eli sighed as he unlocked the door to his apartment, exhausted after a long day at work. He just wanted to go and collapse into bed, sleep until he had to get up and do it all again in the morning. He stepped inside and turned around to lock the door, but he froze in his tracks, his blood running cold when he heard a terribly familiar voice.

“Hello, Love.”

No no no no. There’s no fucking way. Not here.

He couldn’t force himself to turn around, but he could feel his presence behind him. He knew he was still at the door, he could hopefully get it open, run for help, but just as he reached to unlock it again a hand tangled in his hair, and he felt the cold tip of a blade come and rest against his throat, forcing him to tilt his head back.

“No no, you’re not getting away from me that easily.” He said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “We have a lot of catching up to do.” He said as he dragged him further into the apartment, into the living room. He had clearly been here for a little while, things laid out and prepared on his coffee table, things he hoped to never see again. Leather cuffs, a blue collar, that goddamn ball gag, other tools Nicholas had used on him time and time again. It only just then occurred to him to call for help, panic taking over completely.

“No! Stop it- please- help me!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. He kept screaming, he had neighbors, somebody had to hear him, he hoped desperately this would work.

He fought when Nicholas moved the knife away from his throat, kicking the back of his knee and forcing him to the floor. There was a brief moment where he let go of his hair, he tried to scramble away but he was quickly grabbed by the wrist, roughly dragged back. His arms were twisted behind his back, secured in place with the leather cuffs, and he let out a broken sob, uselessly trying to pull against them.

“No no no please! Please somebody help!” He cried, but Nicholas finally had enough, grabbing him by the hair and holding the blade to his throat again as Eli took quick, shuddering breaths.

“Stop your crying and listen to me,” He hissed in his ear, “If you shut up now, I won’t have to gag you. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He said, and all he could manage was a soft, whimpered mmhm, his lip trembling as he struggled not to cry. “There’s my good boy.” He said, finally letting go of him, only temporarily as he took a seat on the couch, grabbing his face and forcing him to meet his cold grey eyes.

“P-please, please don’t- don’t-“

“Shhh, it’s okay my love.” He said gently. “Look at you- you’ve only been away a short while and you’ve already ruined yourself.” He said, using the tip of the knife to brush back a loose strand of hair. Elias had dyed it as soon as he could after getting home, a nice deep blue color he had always been fond of. The thought of having that taken away again brought even more tears to his eyes. “You ran away for what? This tiny apartment? Long hours at work? Loneliness and fear and paranoia? Why would you do that when you were so much more comfortable with me?”

“N-no, I wasn’t, I wasn’t-“ He took a deep shuddering breath, struggling to put his frantic thoughts into words. “You-you know I was-wasn’t happy, how-how could I have been? Please, I-I’m home, it’s over now, please let it be over.” He whimpered pathetically, trying his best to keep his voice down.

“It’s not over until I say it is, you know that.” He said, a cruel smile on his face. “You need to learn a lesson, you need to learn to drop this stupid idea you have that you’re actually a person.”

“I-I am- I am a person, m-my name is- is Elias Brax, I-I’m-“ He tried to go through the words Zander had taught him to hold onto himself, words he’d repeated again and again and again, only for Nicholas to suddenly slap him, his head snapping to the side.

“Shut up!” He snapped. “You’re lying to yourself and you know it. You’ve gotten stupid in your time away, you need me here to remind you.” He said. He roughly shoved Eli back, the boy crying out when the back of his head hit the edge of the coffee table. Nicholas got to his feet, wandering about the living room as he seemed to be thinking about something. “You need to learn a lesson…” He said again, Elias watching him in fear.

His heart was pounding hard in his chest, he felt like he couldn’t breath. He wanted to try to keep fighting but he was scared, he was scared and he was so, so tired of fighting, he couldn’t anymore. He wanted this to be over, but the only way to get there was to ride it out.

“Who is this?” Nicholas asked, picking up a framed photo of Everett from a shelf. From his tone, Eli knew he didn’t have the option not to answer.

“He’s dead.” He blurted out immediately, Nicholas giving him a look as though he didn’t believe him. “He- that’s- that’s my brother, he’s d-dead, you can’t hurt him.” He told him. Nicholas didn’t seem to buy it, but he dropped the picture frame, Eli flinching when he heard the glass break. He picked up the frame next to it, a photo of him and Zander taken not long before Nicholas had first kidnapped him. “The mutt is alive and well though- for now, that is. Maybe that’s what you need to learn to listen-“

“No!” He cried. “Don’t-don’t hurt him, don’t hurt- don’t hurt anyone but me!” He said, and Nicholas smiled.

“Well, if you insist.” He dropped that frame as well, Eli whimpering as he made his way back over to him. He had changed his position to watch him, making it easy for Nicholas to kick him down so he was laying on his back, his arms trapped beneath him. Nicholas got down on the floor with him, straddling his waist. He was instantly scared he intended to strangle him again, but Nicholas gently touched his face, wiping away a tear at the corner of his eye. He cringed at the feeling of leather against his skin, he’d always hated those gloves he always wore.

“P-promise me.” Eli said, hardly thinking as he said it.

“What’s that?”

“Promise me- promise me it’ll be just me. Promise you-you won’t hurt anyone e-else. Please.” He said, his voice wavering, and Nicholas laughed.

“Alright sweet boy, I promise I won’t hurt anybody else.” He told him. He leaned down, before he could turn his head away he kissed him, Eli freezing and going tense out of habit, he never did learn how he was supposed to react. He knew he was testing him, pushing his weak boundaries to see just how much he would take without snapping. He pulled back after only a moment, though it felt much longer, seeming pleased with the fact he hadn’t put up a struggle. “I only want you, after all.”

He sat up straight again, busying himself with unbuttoning the white shirt Eli was wearing. In the back of his mind he couldn’t help but be disappointed it would end up stained with blood. He watched Nicholas reach across the coffee table, picking up a different blade, one he’d used on him often before, often enough that Wren’s breath caught in his throat when he saw it.

“How many days have you been gone from me, love? I’m sure you know the number.”

“I-It… it’s been almost seven- seven weeks… forty… forty six days today…” He said softly.

“Forty six days!” Nicholas said, almost sounding impressed. “You almost made it fifty days without me, I’m surprised you made it so long! That’s far too long though, too long for you to be left alone. A stupid thing like you is better off as a pet, you know that, right?” He said, clearly expecting an answer.

“I-I… Yes… yes sir…” He wanted to argue with him but he knew it would just prolong the ordeal, he just wanted it to be over.

“Good boy. Forty six days, well, we should go ahead and get started then.” He said, Elias wasn’t entirely sure what he intended to do but he bit back a cry when the blade pierced his skin, a small, quick cut, that stung more than anything else. He didn’t realize what he was doing until he’d made four similar cuts, only to slice across them as the fifth. Tally marks. One for everyday that he’d been gone.

Five of them was irritating, but bearable. Ten of them hurt, but aside from whining he remained quiet. Twenty of them, he couldn’t handle it anymore, sobbing as he felt like it had been going on forever, and would last just as long. The stinging pain was paired with the ache of his arms, his head pounding from his panicked breathing and crying. He wanted this to be over, he wanted everything to just go back to normal.

Forty six stinging cuts later and he was in tears, and despite the pain he was causing him Nicholas gently wiped away his tears, seeming to enjoy listening to him cry. Eli didn’t even want to know what his chest looked like, didn’t want to see all the blood. He wondered if Nicholas would be kind enough to clean him up at the end of all this, or if he would simply let him bleed out. He took a deep, shuddering breath when Nicholas got off him, though his relief didn’t last long when he pulled him into a sitting position, this wasn’t over just yet.

“Alright love, you did so well for me but the gag is necessary now.” He told him, and almost reflexively, obediently, he opened his mouth, slowly going numb the same way he did when he was trapped with him. Nicholas was gentle this time, the ball pushed between his teeth, the straps tightened and locked behind his head. He tried not to think about what was going to be so bad that it was supposedly necessary. He was careful as he moved him, adjusting him to lean forward and place his head on the table, Nicholas perched on the edge of the couch behind him. He heard a sound, the click of a lighter, and he couldn’t help but think about the time Cain heated a blade, and pressed it to his tongue.

He didn’t expect how close this would be to that. A sudden searing, white hot pain pressed against his back, in between his shoulder blades, and he *shrieked*. He sobbed loudly, tears streaming down his face as it happened again, he didn’t know how but he easily placed the pattern, forming out a letter N.

He screamed, though it was muffled by the gag he screamed, desperate and hopeless. He squeezed his eyes shut, and he screamed, because there was nothing else he could do.

***

When he opened his eyes, he wasn’t in his living room, shoved against the table and staring at that awful blue collar. He was staring at his ceiling, laying on his bed, his shark still clutched in one arm. He was covered in sweat but cold to the point of shivering, even under his blankets. The room was lit by a pale blue light, from a cat shaped night light on his desk, a gift from Zander. He sat up, shaking as he took in his surroundings.

As he finally came to his senses, he suddenly pulled his shirt over his head, looking down and expecting tally marks but not seeing any new scars, only ones he was used to, and the brand from Cain. He was able to reach back, his hand feeling between his shoulder blades and finding no traces of a burn or any wound. He took slow deep breaths, realizing it had just been a dream.

He opened his mouth, he tried to speak, and he couldn’t. Yep, just a dream. He’d never been so relieved to be silent.

He wasn’t entirely relieved though, a sense of paranoia still weighing down on him. He hardly thought about it when he stumbled out of bed, swaying and having to grab his door frame and stop for a minute on his way out. His dreams always disoriented him, having to adjust to only half his vision again. Once he was sure he was okay, he rushed to the front door, checking the locks, all of which were still in place. He moved about the apartment quickly, efficiently, flipping on every light and checking every room, even the closets. He checked the locks on the windows, the door to his balcony, all locked, all secure, every room empty. He even stopped in the living room, making sure the pictures of Everett and him and Zander were still intact, which they were. He was still nervous, but he felt safe enough to return to his room, climbing back into bed. He didn’t lay down, he stayed sitting propped against his headboard, holding his shark close to his chest.

Just a dream. Just a nightmare. He was alone, safe in his home. Nicholas wasn’t there, he couldn’t hurt him anymore, he didn’t have to play the part of his Love ever again.

My name is Elias Brax, He mouthed, his lip trembling, I’m twenty four years old. I’m not a dog. I’m not Wren. I’m not Love. My name is Elias Brax.

His shoulders shook as he buried his face in his stuffed animal, a silent sob wracking his body. He was tired of this, he wanted to be okay, he wanted it all to be over. Nicholas couldn’t hurt him anymore, but he was still scared of him, still so, so scared of him hurting somebody he loved. He didn’t want to be alone, he wanted Zander there, but it was hard to get ahold of him when he couldn’t even speak. He didn’t really want to bother him as it was, he had spent so much time with him in the first few weeks, Eli had been insisting he could finally sleep alone again. Well, apparently he couldn’t, it seemed.

He didn’t fall back asleep that night. He stayed curled up like that until the sun rose, and even then he didn’t want to move, too scared of doing something wrong, too scared that maybe the nightmare had been reality, and this was the real dream.

***

Tag List: @ihaventwritteninsolong , @galaxywhump , @legallylibra , @to-whump-or-not-to-whump , @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi , @as-a-matter-of-whump , @grovegrocer , @renkocchi , @whumpasaurus101 , @inky-whump , @lonesome--hunter , @ladygwennn , @simplygrimly , @withering-whump , @lave-e, @whatwhumpcomments , @thatsthewhump , @just-another-whumper , @starnight-whump , @unicornscotty

[spookyboywhump]

So remember that conversation we had on Wren starving himself because he refuses to eat out of Nicholas’ hand? Yeah here we go :3c

CW: Bad Timeline, starvation, force feeding, death mentioned several times, creepy whumper, noncon kiss (not on the lips), pet whump, dehumanization

***

It had been an ongoing fight ever since he’d gotten there. Nicholas would feed them at the same time, praising Cain for being such a good boy as he passed him bites of food that the man eagerly accepted, while Wren sat there with his arms crossed over his chest, stubbornly refusing to accept any food from him. As long as he was trying to hand feed him, he’d rather go hungry.

At first he found ways around it. When Nicholas’ back was turned, especially if he was distracted with Cain, then he could slip away. He’d always been good at sneaking around, if he was quick he could get in and out of the kitchen with something that would be enough to get him through the day. He’d tried sneaking down at night but was too worried about waking Nicholas when he tried to get out of bed, instead just doing his best during the day. Of course, it was only a matter of time before he got caught, and after that Nicholas began to keep a better eye on him, leaving him frustrated and so, so hungry.

“Don’t look at me like that, Love. I’m offering you food, all you have to do is take it.” Nicholas reminded him as Wren glared up at him.

“I’m not eating out of your fucking hand.” He snarled, arms wrapped around his middle as he was hit with another hunger pang. It had been days since he’d last eaten, and Nicholas didn’t seem like he was going to give in anytime soon- but neither was he. He was unfortunately used to being hungry, from growing up with little food to spending nine months with Cain, by now he was used to that dull ache in his stomach. Nicholas wasn’t going to be the one to finally break him with this, he refused to let that happen. He didn’t get a single bite to eat that night, and Nicholas sighed as he finally rose from his chair once he’d finished his meal.

“You can’t be this stubborn forever.” He told him. “You won’t be eating anything that I don’t feed to you, you may want to drop this stubborn attitude sometime soon.” He said, and Wren narrowed his eyes at him.

“I’d rather fucking starve.”

***

“You need to eat something.” Cain said bluntly, sitting beside him where he was curled up on the bed. Nicholas had left them alone for the day, he’d fought with the door longer than he cared to admit despite the fact he knew there was no escaping. He had to give up eventually, curling up with his arms wrapped around himself, his eyes squeezed shut. His head hurt, his whole body felt weak, and the ache in his stomach just wouldn’t go away.

“I’m not fucking doing it.” He muttered, refusing to even look at him.

“You’re not going to get anywhere like this. You’re more likely to starve to death before he gives in.”

“Good! I’d rather fucking die than be his obedient fucking lapdog!”

“I never knew you were so much like Zander.” Cain sighed, finally catching Wren’s attention enough that he at least turned to face him, opening his eyes to look up at him. “He did the same thing, the idiot planned to starve himself to death just to spite my father.”

“I think that’s a good enough reason-”

“It’s not.” He interrupted, looking down at him. “You’re not getting anything out of this. You’re just going to starve and starve until you finally die, or until he tries to do something about it. You might as well start eating before he gets to that point.”

“Fuck off.” He muttered. He knew it was a weak response because he knew that Cain was right and he’d rather die than admit that. He’d rather die than do a lot of things right now.

“You know I’m trying to help you, right?” He said, gentler as he placed a hand on Wren’s shoulder, almost as though he was trying to comfort him, only for him to quickly jerk away, weakly forcing himself to sit up so he could move away from him.

“I don’t want your help! You’ve never been any help to me before, you don’t need to start now!” He snapped. He thought this was ridiculous coming from Cain, he had half a mind to remind him how he put him through the same thing for two weeks, all for the sake of some stupid game. “Just leave me the fuck alone, will you?!” For a moment he saw a familiar look on his face, the way his eyes narrowed when he talked back to him, the look that used to make him freeze in terror. It didn’t last long though, giving way to his typical resigned expression.

“Fine then, suit yourself.” He said, getting off the bed while Wren laid back down, hiding his face in a pillow. He felt dizzy just from sitting up, his stomach turning and making him even more nauseous.

He knew it would be easier to give in. He knew it would be better for him to just stop being stubborn, to just be good and behave for Nicholas, allow him to hand feed him like a beloved pet. He knew it would be better but the thought of it made him angrier than he’d been in a while. He grit his teeth and curled up on himself as his stomach growled.

He still refused to give in.

***

He knew this was bad. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, the days continued to blur together. He hardly slept, constantly kept awake from how sick he felt, and at this point, he could hardly move. He spent most of the day curled up in bed or on the floor, and he unfortunately needed Cain’s help if he even wanted to shower after he fainted and hit his head days ago. Nicholas refused to offer him any help, in fact he’d been acting as though the starving boy in his bed was invisible, not worthy of his attention as long as he was “misbehaving”.

He hated to admit it, but he spent a lot of time crying. There wasn’t anything else he could do, and sometimes he couldn’t even manage that, miserable and angry and scared. He didn’t want to die, every time he thought he was okay with it, every time he thought it would be better than everything happening now, he was wracked with guilt. He hoped that his friends were looking for him, he hoped that Zander wanted him back, and he would feel awful if they’d wasted all that time only to find him dead. Cain had tried to talk some sense into him but there wasn’t anything he could do now. Nicholas was waiting for Wren to break and beg and he just wouldn’t.

Even though Cain had warned him, Wren still didn’t expect Nicholas to snap before he could starve completely.

Wren didn’t have the strength or energy to move when Nicholas lifted him from the bed that evening. The man didn’t say anything as he carried him from the room, and though Wren had a thousand snarky comments he wanted to make, if only to preserve his own sanity, all he could manage was a tired moan, his head leaned against Nicholas’ chest. He didn’t know, and he didn’t really care where they were going, his eyes fell shut and he simply waited for this to be over. It didn’t matter what he had planned, there was nothing he could do now except wait.

It wasn’t long before he was being sat down in a chair, which wasn’t a problem until leather straps were pulled tight around his wrists. He didn’t understand the point of that, he couldn’t have struggled even if he wanted to, but he didn’t question it.

“I have to admit, I didn’t think you would last this long. You’re more stupid than I thought, but your perserverence is impressive to say the least.” Nicholas said casually, and Wren watched tiredly as he got things ready on the table in front of him, though he couldn’t quite make sense of what he had there. Everything was sort of in a haze to him, in fact he wouldn’t have been surprised if he was dreaming all this, sighing and closing his eyes until Nicholas suddenly grabbed his face, startling him into paying attention. “I can’t have my favorite pet starving to death though, so I have to put an end to your little game.” He said, and Wren could see the slight irritation on his face.

“Wh… what do you mean…?” He murmured, his thoughts too clouded for him to understand what he was talking about. He knew he couldn’t eat right now, knew it would just make him even sicker, but Nicholas seemed to have a plan.

“Now- I need you to stay still, and do exactly as I say, Love.” He said, all but ignoring his confusion. “I’ve never done this before and I’d hate to hurt you while doing it.” He said, and Wren watched as he picked up a long, thin tube. It took him a few seconds to figure out what he planned to do with this, but it hit him hard as Nicholas held him by the chin, bringing the end of the tube up to his nose, and he was suddenly hit with a rush of panic and adrenaline.

“N-no!” He cried, trying to jerk his head away and weakly pulling against the straps holding him down. “No! G-Get that- Get that away from me!”

“I said hold still.” Nicholas said sternly, scowling at him. “This is for your own good, Love, you can’t continue to starve yourself this way.”

“I-I’ll eat, okay?! I’ll eat w-whatever you give me, I’ll eat from your-your hand, j-just get that away from me!” He yelled.

“Oh, I wish I could.” Nicholas said, faux sympathy obvious in his voice. “No, it’s been too long now, you’ll have to start with this and maybe, if you can be good, you’ll get to eat normally again. You should’ve just behaved from the start, this is really your own fault.” He told him, gripping his chin tighter as he finally forced the end of the tube up his nose.

His eyes began to water immediately and he couldn’t help but cry out in pain and discomfort. He wanted to pull away but he knew Nicholas was right, he needed to stay still if he didn’t want to risk this going terribly wrong. The fact that Nicholas hadn’t done this before wasn’t any comfort either, and he choked and gagged as it was pushed down the back of his throat, his nails digging into the armrests his wrists were secured to. Tears streamed down his face and all he could do was whine and whimper pathetically, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Shh, you’re doing fine sweetheart. Just relax, okay?” Nicholas said gently, but it wasn’t really of any comfort to him as he coaxed him to swallow to help push it down. “Poor thing, I hope you’ll behave better for me next time so we can avoid this.” He sighed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Wren’s forehead as he finally got the tube in place, all the way down his throat. He was still getting used to the intrusion, the discomfort of having a foreign object pushed through his nose, he wasn’t sure he’d get used to it at all. It hurt less now that it was in place but it was still uncomfortable, it was still scary, he just wanted this to be over.

He watched through his tears as the man pulled away from him, watching as he used a syringe to push some sort of liquid into the other end of the tube. He shuddered and whined at the cold feeling that rushed down his throat, more tears welling up in his eyes from the odd sensation.

Stop stop stop, please just stop, He thought, wishing desperately that this was some sort of nightmare he’d finally wake up from. He didn’t know how long he expected this to last but it continued to drag on and on, slowly he began to feel full but it wasn’t satisfying, he just felt exhausted and sick, the same as before.

It felt forever had passed by the time Nicholas slowly began to remove the tube from down his throat, Wren panicked and gagging as he did so, unable to tolerate the feeling. He thought it would be a relief but it felt awful, even as Nicholas finally pulled the end out from his nose he was still taking shuddering breaths, soft whimpers escaping his throat. His wrists were finally freed and he instantly brought his hands to his nose, though he quickly pulled them away when he realized he was bleeding, just another layer of misery added on to this.

“You did good for me, Love.” Nicholas said gently, carding a hand through his hair. “Let’s hope you can keep it up, then we won’t have to do this longer than necessary.” He warned, and for once, Wren knew he should listen to him.

***

Time passed and he was slowly able to begin to eat again. He was so relieved to finally have a day where that awful tube wasn’t forced down his throat, kneeling at Nicholas’ side as always while he ate dinner.

“Love, look at me.” The man ordered at some point, and tiredly Wren turned his attention to him, still scowling though. His eyes widened as he realized Nicholas was holding out a piece of food to him, giving him a hesitant look. “Go ahead, I think you’ve finally earned it.” He said, a smug look on his face and Wren finally relented, leaning forward and taking the food, careful not to bite him.

He tried to savor the taste of having solid food again, even as he felt sick with himself for finally giving in. He wanted to fight, he wanted to struggle and snap and swear at him, but unfortunately, this was a battle that he’d lost. He’d hate to admit it but humiliation hurt so much less than being force fed like that and he’d do anything to avoid it happening again- even if it meant playing the part of Nicholas’ obedient little lapdog.

[spookyboywhump]

May 15th

AHAHA I FINISHED IT AND I LIKE IT

Soft content for Eli’s birthday, featuring some baby Eli content as well

CW: fluff. Eli cries a bit. It’s actually quite happy

***

He kicked his legs excitedly as he sat there in the booth, his brand new shark stuffie clutched tightly in his arms. He was so small, it was quite big compared to him, but that just made it all the better in his opinion. He was only just now turning six years old, but he was certain this was the best birthday, and the best gift he’d gotten in his whole little life.

Everett had kept him home from school that day, he was already excited to brag to anyone who would listen tomorrow about how cool his brother was for doing so. He had made him breakfast, pancakes with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles, and after that he’d let him choose his own clothes for the day, instead of the strict and stuffy outfits their mother preferred he wore. He didn’t even fight him on his hair, simply tied it back in two ponytails for him instead of fighting with a brush while he cried. To him, it was already a great day just from the morning.

After that, he’d taken him out for the day. He’d repeatedly asked him where they were going but Everett simply assured him it was a surprise, only serving to make him more excited. He hadn’t been able to guess where Everett was taking him, but when he saw it was the aquarium, he had accidentally squealed from how excited he was, happily flapping his hands until Everett picked him up and had him sit on his shoulders so he wouldn’t run off in his excitement, as he was known to do.

He was completely in awe of the exhibits they passed through. They spent nearly thirty minutes in front of the tank of moon jellies because he just couldn’t stop staring at them. He thought that was the best, at least, he did until they entered one room where they could actually touch things. Everett was hesitant to do so but he set him down in front of the low tank, and he had absolutely no issue with sticking his hand into the water, gasping when his fingers brushed over the back of a small passing stingray.

“E-Ev- Ev! It’s a, it’s like a, like a pancake!” He giggled excitedly. He snatched his hand out of the water, spreading his hands out as he said, “It’s uh, it’s uh, it’s smooth and flat, it’s like a- like a pancake!” He said, waving his hands excitedly.

“A pancake? Really?” Everett laughed, and he nodded, happy to stick his hands back into the water, a look of absolute glee on his face.

They spent a long time at the aquarium, simply because he felt the need to look at everything for a prolonged period of time. Everett didn’t seem to mind though, he let him take his time and on their way out they stopped in the gift shop. He wasn’t the kind of kid to ask for anything, he knew the answer was likely to be no, but he couldn’t stop staring at the shark plushies, and after a while of him looking between them and his brother, Everett said he’d buy it for him, since it was his birthday after all.

He took him out for lunch once they finally left, and then to a park so he could run around, holding onto his shark while he did so so it wouldn’t get dirty. And now, as the day was ending, he brought him to a small ice cream shop, an especially rare treat for him. He’d gone to get their ice cream, leaving him there alone but still in his line of sight. He perked up when he saw him coming back, he had a cup with large scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream for him and one with strawberry ice cream for himself.

“Here you go, kid.” Everett said, setting it down in front of him as he took a seat across from him.

“Th-tha-thank you!” He said, grabbing the spoon and excitedly shoving a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

“Have you had a good day?” He asked him, taking a bite of his own ice cream while he happily nodded.

“Mmhm! I-I- I had- had fun!” He giggled softly. “I like- I liked the- the- the fish! And- and my shark! I love my- my- my shark!”

“Are you gonna name it?” He asked, and he looked to the shark, making a face as he thought it over.

“Mmmm… Ev.”

“Yeah?”

“N-No- no his name- his name is Ev.” He said, looking up at him. “Since Ev got him- got- got him for me, his name- his name is Ev.” He said, and Everett smiled at him.

“You’re a sweet kid, you know that?” He said, and he giggled, happily shoving more ice cream into his mouth.

By the time they finished he was bouncing in his seat, even more hyper from the sugar. Everett cleaned up after them, getting up and leaving the table for a moment. He watched his brother, on his way back he stopped somebody, asking them to take a quick picture of them together and explaining it was his birthday. When they agreed, he sat down next to him, pulling him into a hug, both of them flashing big grins as the stranger took a picture, commenting on how cute the pair of siblings were as they handed the phone back to Everett.

“Can I- can I- can I see?” He asked, getting up on his knees, and Everett showed him the phone, the photo of them together, he had a big grin on his face, one of his front teeth missing and his shark still in the background. “Oooohhh! I- I love- I love it!” He giggled, and Ev smiled, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Happy birthday, kid.” He told him, and he clung to him tightly, a big smile spread across his face.

After they left, Everett carried him home, having to carry his shark in one arm so he wouldn’t drop it. It was quite late in the day, and after spending so much time out and being so active, he was quickly growing sleepy, struggling to keep his eyes open as they got closer to his apartment. Once there Everett carried him back to their shared room, laying him down and handing him his shark, taking a moment to pull his shoes off for him.

“I’m glad you had fun.” Everett said, brushing wispy strands of brown hair back from his face.

“I- I- I had…” He paused to yawn, finishing with, “I had lots- lots of fun…” He murmured, curling up and cuddling his new shark close. He was asleep in only minutes, a content smile still on his face. Everett smiled as he looked down at him, so happy and so relieved he’d been able to do this for him.

***

“Can I open my eyes yet?”

“Not just yet, we’re almost there.” Zander told him, steering him by the shoulders. “And no peeking.” He told him, Eli snapping his good eye shut when he said it. They’d spent the day out together, Zander had taken him to the aquarium and listened to all his talking and rambling, and now they were finally returning to his apartment, but Zander was insistent that he kept his eyes shut. He heard him unlock the door and push it opened, tugging him inside by his wrist and only stopped in what Eli assumed was the dining room just off his living room.

“Alright- you can open your eyes now.” Zander told him, and he didn’t have to be told twice.

“Surprise!”

He nearly jumped back, startled but a grin quickly spread across his face at what he saw. Cara, Lila, Alec, even Alondra were there, crowded around his dining room table. They’d hung a happy birthday banner on the wall behind them, and gotten blue and white balloons for him, tying them to the chairs. They’d hung pale blue streamers from the ceiling, and on the table was takeout food from his favorite restaurant, and a cake with blue icing and number candles for “25”, and the words “Happy Birthday Elias”.

“Eli- shit, kid are you okay?” Zander asked, sounding worried as he brought his hands up to cover his mouth, blinking back tears.

“I’m- I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m sorry, I love it!” He laughed.

“Aww, Elias you can’t cry on your birthday!” Cara said, coming around the table and pulling him into a hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no I’m so happy! This is perfect, I love you guys!” He said, reaching up and wiping at his eyes. Cara pulled away so they could all take a seat at the table, Alec using a lighter to light the candles, the small group singing happy birthday for him while he tried to keep from crying again.

“Make a wish!” They told him and he blew out the candles, smiling as Zander ruffled his hair.

“What did you wish for?” He asked him, and Eli laughed.

“I’m not telling, I want it to come true.” He said. He gladly accepted a slice of cake when Alondra passed him a plate, looking excited.

“I hope you like it, they said this was your favorite.” She said, and he grinned when he saw the inside was layered vanilla cake, one layer white and one colored blue.

“You made this?” He asked, and she nodded as he took a bite, only for his eyes to widen. “Oh shit- this is amazing!” He covered his mouth to hide the grin on his face, looking up at her. “I love it! Thank you so much!” He said, and she grinned at him.

“I’m so glad!” She looked both happy and relieved at the same time, as though she’d really feared he wouldn’t.

It was easily one of the best nights he’d had in a while, surrounded by his friends as they ate and talked and laughed. Once they had all had their fill of food, they brought Eli into the living room, having him sit down on the couch in front of the coffee table, a few gifts placed in front of him that they insisted he opened.

Cara and Lila had gotten him matching pink and green squid shaped pillows, and Alec had gotten him a set of books he’d been collecting. Alondra had given him a homemade apron, made from jellyfish printed fabric and a set of blue baking spatulas with white polka dots, measurement conversions printed on the back, and Zander had gotten him an adorable cat shaped lamp, which would fade through different colors when it was one. He was so excited over each and every one of them, to the point of frantically flapping his hands as he thanked them, looking overjoyed.

“Oh, there’s one more thing.” Zander told him, going across the room to get something from the closet.

“We all picked this one out for you.” Cara told him, and Eli grinned as Zander brought back a rather large gift bag, filled with blue tissue paper. He had to pull quite a bit of it out to get to it, but his face lit up as he saw the item inside.

“Oh my god! I love it!” He cried, pulling out the large dolphin stuffed animal. It was absolutely adorable, he instantly hugged it close to his chest, already in love with how soft it was.

“We’re glad you like it.” Zander said, ruffling his hair. “Happy birthday, kid.” He said, sitting down and pulling him into a hug, only for the others to join in as best they could. It took all his self control to not burst into tears again, overwhelmed with happiness and love for his friends.

***

That night he laid in bed, Zander next to him as he had stayed the night. Zander had passed out after a few too many drinks but he was still awake, laying there and watching the pale light from his new little lamp change. He smiled, turning onto his side and cuddling both his shark and his new dolphin close to his chest, thinking over that year’s birthday wish.

I wish to be this happy all the time.

[spookyboywhump]

o(TヘTo) ZANDER AND WREN HAVE SNOWBALL FIGHT SEND TWEET

Hi I went off and combined this with the idea I was rambling about last night :3c

 This is really just a lot of the boys being dorks

CW: Blood mentioned several times

 ***

 “Having fun?” Elias asked, perched on the railing of the front porch, watching Zander work on shoveling the snow out of the driveway. He’d been restless since he had gotten up early that morning, he was almost eager to help out by taking on the task, a chore he used to bitch and moan about before he was kidnapped. He chose to ignore the pain already seeping into his back and shoulders, focusing on clearing the driveway of the heavy snowfall they’d gotten over night. 

 “Oh yeah, tons of it.” He said sarcastically. Eli had stayed over that night, but he hadn’t wanted to wake him when he got up, he knew he hadn’t been sleeping enough lately. It didn’t take much longer for him to get up though, wandering outside to keep him company while he worked. 

 “Want me to help?” He asked, and Zander laughed.

 “Honestly I’d love that, but I think this shovel is taller than you are.” He said jokingly.

 “Hey!” He snapped, and Zander just laughed again, only to flinch when something cold hit the back of his head. He whipped around, one hand going to brush the snow off the back of his neck, and Elias grinned at him, clearly pleased with himself as he gathered another handful of snow. Zander knew he would’ve hated it, but as he stood there with a lopsided grin and snowball in hand, oversized jacket hanging off his thin frame, he reminded him of an excited kid. He hadn’t seen him smile like that in a while, he couldn’t help but indulge him.

 “Really? What are you, five?” He snickered, though he ducked out of the way when Eli threw another snowball at him. The task at hand completely forgotten, he dropped the shovel aside and dug into the snow piled up in the yard, not hesitating to throw a snowball right back at him, Elias laughing as he tried to avoid it, though he tripped and ended up sprawled in the snow for a moment before he scrambled to his feet, getting hit with another snowball in the middle of getting up.

 “That’s not fair! At least let me stand up!” He whined, and Zander laughed.

 “Alright, alright, I’ll give you a free shot at me to make it fair.” He told him, though he didn’t expect Eli to aim for his face, or throw as hard as he did. “Fuck! You put a lot of anger into that one, didn’t you?” He said, brushing away the snow that stuck to him. 

 “Sorry! I wasn’t trying for that, but can’t say I regret it!” He laughed, failing to avoid the next several snowballs that Zander pelted him with. 

 They went back and forth for a while, until they tired themselves out and their fingers went numb from the cold. Elias was rubbing his hands together, trying to get some warmth back, while Zander turned his back on him to finish shoveling the driveway, he was almost done anyway and ready to get back inside the warm house. While he heard Elias coming up behind him, he didn’t expect him to suddenly grab the collar of his jacket, pulling it back just enough to drop snow down the back of his shirt, laughing loudly when Zander jumped, crying out as he was startled by the cold. 

 “What the fuck!” He cried, instinctively trying to get the snow out of his shirt. He whipped around to face him, but he hadn’t realized how close he was, his elbow accidentally slamming into Elias’ face, cutting off his laughter real quick as he stumbled back, cupping his hands over his nose. Despite the cold and discomfort, Zander was instantly more worried about him, trying to check if he was okay. 

 “I’m-I’m fine,” He said, blinking back tears, “It hurts, but I’m fine.” He insisted, but when he pulled his hands away Zander saw the blood pouring from his nose, some had even already stained his hands. 

 “Fuck- you’re bleeding a lot, you need to go inside.” He told him, keeping an arm around his shoulders as he led him into the house. He ended up bringing him into the living room to sit down, his moms had already been there and they were both on their feet the second they saw Elias was bleeding. 

 “What happened?!” His mom asked, while Georgia knelt down in front of Eli, gently holding his face so she could see the damage. 

 “I accidentally hit him- I didn’t realize how close he was when I turned around.” Zander explained, shrugging off his jacket and shivering as his now wet shirt clung to his back, though he hardly cared now. Even though it was an accident, he still felt awful for hurting him, he couldn’t stand to see him in pain. 

 “It’s just a lot of blood, you should be fine though.” Georgia said gently, passing a box of tissues to Eli so he could try to clean his face. “For a moment I was worried you’d broken his nose.” She said to Zander, and Elias laughed despite the pain he was in.

 “Oh no, I’d know if it were broken. Trust me, this isn’t anywhere near the worst I’ve gotten.” He said, and those words were enough make his moms seem to worry more, worry about what this poor kid could’ve gone through that gushing blood from his nose still wasn’t that bad. “This- This is nothing really, I’m fine.” He said, grabbing another tissue to try and slow the bleeding at least. 

 “I’m glad it’s not too bad at least…” His mom said, still worried as she hovered near Elias, affectionately carding a hand through his hair as if to comfort him. 

 “I’m sorry, kid…” Zander told him, and he just shook his head.

 “It’s fine- I think it makes us even actually!” He laughed. “It is kind of my fault for putting snow down your shirt.”

 “You both should be more careful.” Georgia told them. “At least this time didn’t end in a trip to the hospital, we don’t want that happening again.” She said, referencing Zander’s dislocated shoulder. “And, you should probably change your shirt, you look like you're freezing.” She told him, and she did have a point. He excused himself to run upstairs real quick, changing into a dry shirt and enjoying the relief as he came back downstairs. His mom was still fussing over Elias, trying to help him clean up the blood.

 “It looks like the bleeding is slowing down…” She said, and Eli sighed in relief. “You’re still shivering though, I’ll get you something warm to drink.” She said, ruffling his hair.

 “Thanks, mom.” Elias said, and the three of them seemed to catch it before he did, though it only took a moment for his face to go bright red, he quickly buried his face in his hands. “Fuck- I’m sorry, that was an accident- I-I’m sorry-“ He rambled, but she just laughed.

 “Elias, honey, it’s okay.” She said gently, and it took a moment for him to finally lower his hands, though he kept staring at his lap, anxiously picking at his fingers. He looked embarrassed, and Zander came to sit down next to him, reaching over and taking one of his hands. 

 “You’re over here often enough, they’re basically your parents too.” He told him, and while he still looked embarrassed, he at least smiled a little bit, lightly squeezing his hand. It took him a moment, but finally he spoke up.

 “I… I think I’m okay with that…” He said softly, and Zander smiled, letting go of his hand only to put his arm around his shoulders, pulling him close, and Elias happily leaned into him.

 Zander still felt awful for hurting him, he couldn’t help it, but he was glad he seemed to be handling it well, well enough to still be smiling anyway, and really, that was enough to ease his nerves at least a little bit, knowing for sure he was okay.

***

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[spookyboywhump]

Hi here’s Zander Falls Off A Fucking Roof but also A Little Bit More To It

CW: Dislocated shoulder, discussion of past injuries 

***

 Time passed, he settled into his home, into his freedom. There was still some adjusting to be done, but he felt more himself these days, more comfortable venturing outside of his room. He was almost eager to be helpful around the house, a habit from when he was younger, and as the season changed and his moms began pulling out the Christmas decorations, he volunteered to be as helpful as he could be.

 That’s how he ended up on the roof of his house, string of lights in hand. It wasn’t a particularly difficult task, and he’d rather be up there than have either of his moms trying to do it, but it was cold out, snow covering the ground and parts of the roof, and he couldn’t wait to be done and get back inside. Right now he was very envious of Wren who had also come to help, but was currently on the ground with his mom, mug of hot chocolate in hand. 

 “Move them just a little to the left, please!” His mom called, and he was quick to do as she said, easily finding the nail sticking out from the wood from years past and twisting the string around it, finally securing the last of the lights. He stood up from where he was crouched down, feeling somewhat proud of himself for getting something done. He tried to savor that feeling for the time being, he’d found he had a hard time feeling like that lately. 

 “Be careful getting down from there!” Wren said as he made his way across the roof, towards the ladder propped up against the edge of the roof. 

 “Yeah, I will!” He called back. He intended to be careful, anyway, but one misplaced step had him stepping on a more slippery part of the roof he hadn’t quite noticed, his foot sliding out from under him. His back hit the edge of the roof hard, but that was nothing compared to the pain he felt when he slipped off and onto the ground. While he was lucky the snow broke his fall somewhat, he landed in an awkward position, and from the intense pain in his shoulder he just knew he’d dislocated it again. 

 His mom and Wren were quick to get over to him, trying to help him get up. He was surprised he was able to stand, but the pain in his shoulder was constant, it was too much for him to ignore and he kept his eyes screwed shut, overwhelmed by the pain as they helped him inside. He tried to get his jacket off but it just worsened the pain, he collapsed onto the couch as his mother fussed over him. 

 “It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.” He said over and over again, almost as if trying to convince himself. “It’s fine, it’s happened before.” He said.

 “What do you mean it’s happened before?!” His mom cried.

 “I saw it happen once.” Wren added, which seemed to just upset her more. 

 “It’s fine, this just, it happens.” Zander said, talking more to distract himself. “Sometimes- Sometimes my shoulder just dislocates- actually last time it was the other shoulder, but it’s just, it’s fine, it could be worse, I mean- the broken hand hurt more actually-“

 “When did you break your hand?!” She asked.

 “Zander, you should probably stop talking.” Wren warned him.

 “If I stop talking then it’ll really hurt- why do you think I kept yelling at Cain last time?”

 “I thought you just liked yelling at Cain.”

 “I did! But it’s much better when my shoulder is where it fucking belongs!” 

 “Dan-Zander!” His mom sounded exasperated. “Look- We’re going to the hospital, come on.” She told him, getting him to stand back up. “And once we’re back- I want to know about these injuries you’ve been hiding.” She said seriously, and he couldn’t help but think he’d rather dislocate the other shoulder than do that.

 ***

 “The last time I dislocated my shoulder was a couple months ago, and it had happened once before that too- that’s just this year though.” 

 “And your hand?” His mom asked.

 “That happened a long time ago, I mean, it still hurts sometimes but it was taken care of.” He said, trying to make it sound a lot better than it did.

 “And what about your ear, you think I didn’t notice it was torn?” She said, her voice cracking, and as he realized how upset she was he couldn’t help but feel guilty. 

 “A Uh… an earring got ripped out…” He said slowly. “But again- that one was a long time ago, I’m- I’m fine now.” He insisted.

 “You’re not fine!” She said, something he’d been told more than once before. “How often did these things happen?! Were you even properly taken care of- you should’ve been seeing doctors since you got back!” She groaned, anxiously pacing in front of him. He looked at Wren for help but he just glanced away, Zander knew he likely agreed with her.

 “Mom, I’m okay, really.” He said gently. He wasn’t exactly eager to tell her about the constant back pain, and he certainly didn’t want to tell her about the scar on his leg, in fact, he didn’t intend to unless he absolutely had to. “You don’t need to worry…”

 “Clearly I do! You- you shouldn’t hide all this from us, we want to help you but we can’t if you don’t tell us anything is wrong!” She said. She seemed frustrated but he could tell she was just worried, and he hated to worry her. He couldn’t help but feel more and more guilty, a sick feeling in his stomach as he avoided looking at her.

 If he were to be honest, he’d tell her he was in constant pain, every day. He’d tell her exactly how many times he remembered having dislocated shoulders and broken bones. He’d tell her about the scars across his back that ached constantly, he’d tell her about the scar on his leg that made it hard to get up at times. He’d tell her that he’d suffered inhuman treatment and brutal torture and he just couldn’t do that. He loved both his moms, so much, he felt awful for keeping things from them but he knew it was for the best, because the thought of worrying them was so much worse than the thought of keeping his pain to himself.