90sbutterfly3

[90sbutterfly3]

[90sbutterfly3]

Tik Tok Thoughts

Tonight and tomorrow, TikTok will be banned unless Biden or Trump saves it.

It reminds me of MySpace when it went against Facebook and lost, eventually ruining itself over it.

I will never understand how Mark of Facebook can rule and get his way so much and so easily to where he can buy his way into getting rid of TikTok.

I agree with people when they say losing TikTok is against our freedom of speech. I would say TikTok got picked on because it's not 100% American.

I am not saying it is right I know even for an app, bullying is wrong.

The government would say it's because of spies, data, and influence.

Why is it okay for Americans to do the same thing to other Americans? Isn't that still wrong?

Doesn't working something out for the business that will possibly lose everything matter?

I know for me and many others, my mental health improved with TikTok and its community. Isn't that important too?

Even if TikTok is banned, I will still write and find a way to reach out to people. Though it's hard for me since I don't like speaking out with my voice, I still can type and write.

Hopefully, things work out because with the people's unrest and people as mad over it all as they are, unless Trump comes in working something out, I can't imagine what people will do to go against the government after that.

Until next time, Ann

[90sbutterfly3]

Late night thoughts

I watch videos on tik tok of the fires in Los Angeles, ca and I have flashbacks of being in Louisiana and going through hurricanes.

I live n Texas now but part of my heart will forever be in Louisiana.

I have gone through hurricanes throughout my whole life. I am 41 now.

2020 hurricane Laura was the worse only because I have my 2 babies at the time that are now 6 and 7.

I always thought going through a hurricane was hard since water from rain and wind pulling up roofs ruined everything causing tons of mold.

But now my heart hurts and breaks realizing at least it wasn’t ash like the la fires. At least I had a choice to keep things though ruined and it not be ash.

I lost my oldest son 2013-2014 due to him having a genetic disorder. I can’t imagine having to leave behind what I have life of his because I have to think first of his brother and sister.

I lost my dad, brother n law and father n law due to cancer all different years and would have to leave behind what little we have of theirs knowing it would possibly be ash later kills my heart.

I realize now it’s a different kind of pain, a different kind of loss compared to losing everything due to hurricanes.

All lose is heartbreaking I think some though is just painful.

Until next time

Ann

[90sbutterfly3]

~ Flames of the Heart~ - Chapter 7 ~ Date with Hyunjin (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1447747845-%7E-flames-of-the-heart%7E-chapter-7-%7E-date-with?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=90s_butterfly3 Synopsis This world has Alphas, Omegas, Betas, and a Rare Enigma; some are hybrids. Everyone is meant to wait to find out who the moon goddess mated them with. In rare cases, some mate with more than one wolf or hybrid, making them a pack. It's what you are supposed to do, no matter how long it takes. 3Racha is one of the biggest music groups. Everyone knows they are mated to each other, but only Chan knows there is a missing part of them. Chan has the ability to form a pack and feel what's missing but doesn't have the heart to break the news to the other two. By chance, two of their mates that they are missing are dating each other. They are going against what's meant to be. Omega and omega are not supposed to date each other, but they feel the pull to each other and can't help it. Then what will happen when three ordinary meet the other side of things, completing Chan's pack of 8? When what's meant to be, crashes into what's rarely accepted. In the end, a poly story.

[90sbutterfly3]

25 posts!

[90sbutterfly3]

Dissolution Detachment - Chapter 17 ~ Perth's Affair (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1387537846-dissolution-detachment-chapter-17-%7E-perth%27s-affair?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=90s_butterfly3 Synopsis: What happens when your career is all set, and you think everything is right, but denial can wash away? Everything you thought you couldn't reach, you have, all thanks to your best friend/BL partner, but then everything falls apart overnight. Like the blink of an eye, it's all over, and when the dust settles, it is not who you think would be by your side, picking you up and putting you back together. All the while, on the other side of things, jealousy can change a person and cover feelings that are not really there. Perhaps being alone is sometimes the best medicine. Love doesn't wait and is not always where you want it to be. You can't force it on someone, no matter the circumstances. The past will be explained, everyone's side of the story will be seen, and one story in the beginning will lead to others. One person only wanting to affect another actually affects everyone else. Words can hurt more than anyone can know and can change everything. By the end, ALL secrets will be revealed from EVERYONE.

[90sbutterfly3]

[90sbutterfly3]

No Contact

In November 2020, I chose to have no contact with my family (mom, sibling, etc.). My dad died in 2016 from cancer.

The reason behind this is a bunch of things, from the way they talk to me and treat me to even feeling like an only child.

Now, there have been a few times since then that my sister reached out and tried, but once my nephew, who is her son, passed away, I never really spoke to her again.

I tried relating to her since I lost a son, too, when she called with the news, but I should have kept quiet. She said that I didn't need to go through the trouble to go since I had my 2 kids and lived in another state. I felt it was in a tone I wasn't welcome, and with only one car that my husband needed for work he couldn't get out of, and no one offering help and me not comfortable asking, I didn't go. Perhaps I should have tried hard to get there. we shall never know.

I haven't talked to my two brothers since November 2020, after two different hurricanes around that time.

I was the youngest of 4, with my brother before me, 9 years older than me.

The following is the last I spoke with my mom through email after simply sharing pictures of my kids through Messenger and then being questioned why on Messenger.

(Reasons why. Wed, May 8 2024, 5:30 AM)

Reasons why.

You asked why.

Where should I start?

Honestly I feel like I shouldn’t need to explain myself but here we are.

Most of my life I was told sorry didn’t want to bother you since you have kids or sorry thought your sister called you whom also forgot about me.

Did you know throughout my life I have been jealous of Denise because she had a mom that checked on her every day and if she didn’t call mom, mom actually worried about her?

Oh sorry I had Adam so I was left alone.

I mean like what logic is that? Denise had kids along with pets,Tony had Jacob and Joe had his pets. Why am I different?

November 2020 is where I will start I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, career stressing me out had babysitting issues every time I turned around and an extended family that didn’t understand what I was going through.

We were homeless with two kids living on my brother n laws living room for the kids. Couldn’t go back to were we were living do to mold.

So yes I walked away from all of it with my kids. Adam got an job opportunity in Galveston with his company and we decided to take it.

From there we lived in a hotel then moved from there 3 times now settling here.

From gillis to ragely to lake Charles to Texas we have moved 5 times.

My extended not ever helping.

It was just the four of us most of the time. The two kids, Adam and I.

My extended?

Judging me that I didn’t help mom I am sure.

Joe calling me at one point fussing about mom and the kids when mom should have called me directly. I haven’t talked to Joe since because he is not my dad and I am not a kid.

Sorry my priority is my kids over mom.

Tony. He isn’t the brother I grew up with. Tony told me once after I graduated high school to not cause trouble with mom and dad they are to old. What a hypocrite. Most fights that I listened to growing up were from him starting it. I don’t feel safe around him and didn’t when I last saw him unwillingly and mom left me with him and my two kids. Yes I am sour about that.

I am a very logical and simple person that as a.d.d. and anxiety. I don’t play games with people.

I am not going to pretend that we are a happy normal family. 

Denise once told me that she no longer as a older brother then the next week it was expected to act like it never happened. I was always confused by this.

I don’t say one thing and do another.

I don’t know how mom found out I have been back on many occasions to lake Charles. Perhaps it was common sense. 

OR

You or my siblings seen me and couldn’t be bothered to come to me seeing I didn’t see you. Most hurtful I must say.

Someone reported back to you of such information.

Either way no matter the answer before yesterday and since Denise communicated with me before Michael Scott died anyone could have called me. My phone was open. No one did though.

I don’t respond well to random questions on messenger I would rather you call me. Talk to me but none of you have ever done that.

It’s a two way street and I gave up some years ago with me being the only one trying to communicate.

Last time I talked to Denise she told me to not go through any trouble going to Michael’s funeral. She told me this several times in a tone that I took as I wasn’t really welcome. At the time we had one car and Adam worked 7 days a week most of the time still does. No one called me offering a ride or called me asking why I wasn’t there. I haven’t ever talked to Denise since. 

I haven’t talked to my brothers since November 2020. 

I was mostly raised as a only child with siblings in and out only ever causing trouble and a dad that was gone two weeks.

I refuse to talk about dad I have made my peace with him years ago.

I will say this:

Did you know I asked dad once before he sick why won’t either of you call me why do I always have to call. He told me that mom is the way she is, in the tone of it’s just the way it is.

When it comes to Adam I find it insulting that he is judged upon his family and I am given the tone none of yall like him. Adam is not his family. No I don’t communicate with them they are his family and his problem not mine.

Reasons why. Why?

Perhaps it’s because I don’t want to bother. I don’t want to deal with the questions, fussing and undertone of y’all being mad. Which is why I stopped asking for help when yall couldn’t ever help. 

Before any of you try to say well you could have gone to Denise’s. Splitting my little family up wasn’t an option for me. 

Why after all these years do you want to bother now? Why do you now care? 

I think logically. And answering you in messenger would have been to much.

I will say this once. Yes I am bisexual. No I didn’t ever act on it and won’t ever. No reason to thus no point in explaining this or “coming out”. No good would come of it. Yes Adam knows.

I have tried to move on, put it in my past for the kids and keep the communication open for the kids. So any of you can still see them grow up. I tried talking to mom in video calls and it was like pulling out teeth. Why bother?

I have long ago accepted that I am the black sheep of the family.

After this I am done. Don’t bother calling I blocked everyone yesterday.

I have nothing more to say.

(her response May 8, 2024, 7:22 AM)

I am sorry you still have all this  angry in you for me and your sister and brothers. You need to get help. Don’t you realize we reacted to you because of your attitude towards us. 

 As for not helping you, you didn’t ask. I was going through a lot getting over losing Don. I still struggle some days. And now Michael is gone. He finally got himself clean when the accident happened. .

  Hurricane Laura did a lot of damage to the house. I stayed 6 months at Dee’s. But I am home. The house is so much better but I still struggle. I have had knee surgery twice. But get along on my own fine. 

  Please get over your problems Anne, life is too short. Please believe me, I love you and the kids so much. I miss you. Thanks for the pictures, they look happy and well. When you come into Lake Charles, please call. That’s all I ask. 

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Since then, I haven't spoken to any of them because I finally gave up. I haven't gotten any messages, emails, texts, or calls, although, for a while, they were blocked; I am positive I could have found a way around it.

Now, though no one is blocked, I don't care anymore. I just want peace and to move on. I wish I could call them and talk about my kids, but I know I can't without being questioned and talked to like I was a teenager.

Most of the time, it plagues my mind if no contact was the right decision. If everything is my fault and it is all in my head.

I would like to think it was what I thought was best for my kids and to live happily with my husband.

It feels good to journal this here. I stay to myself and help take care of my family besides writing, FNaF graphic novels and diamond painting now.

Thank you,

Until next time, Ann

[90sbutterfly3]

[90sbutterfly3]

Fan Fiction

Dissolution Detachment Chapter 16 ~ Illusory posted on Wattpad and A03

[90sbutterfly3]

Please click thank you

[90sbutterfly3]

Today I have decided to become a full Stay for stray kids.

I love stray kids and my kids do too.

I still listen to others from time to time but nothing like stray kids.

I also write fan fiction for stray kids too. I tried writing fan fiction for bts and do have a few old novels but I always had to end it early because I lost interest.

It’s different with stray kids.

I also love their new song “Giant”.

Until next time Later Ann

[90sbutterfly3]

Deleted Game

No fault to anyone but myself. I have deleted WOS from my phone. I have gotten back into working out and church, and I also need to focus on writing.

It's just too much of a distraction from those three things, then keeping up with kids, a husband, and a house.

I am a stay-at-home mom who is trying to be more active for my kids. I am trying to do better, and I am not in a lazy place or mind frame anymore to play.

This will now turn in my thoughts like a journal.

[90sbutterfly3]

Back in 1296

I am back 100% in 1296. I just couldn't connect to enough people in 1663 and it would have been to difficult to transfer.

Why do they have to make transfering so difficult i won't ever understand. I don't mind getting the transfer papers at 150k and applying to the president for it but to force it to be within a state range and both state match is to much i think.

so what one might have more or less I am sure that the president could adjust things for the transfer since the president is leader.

I just think theres a easier way then transferring being nearly impossible, rare and very hard to trasnfer.

anyway until next time, Ann

[90sbutterfly3]

W.O S. - New Plan

I have a new plan. I finally worked things out with the alliance I left and once I have my farm in their farm alliance.

Once I have the one i have in 1663 back where I need it and it comes transfer time i will transfer in to 1296 main alliance.

we shall see though how it all goes.

Until later, Bye Ann

[90sbutterfly3]

W.O Survival Moving on

I now have two characters. One in 1663 and one in 1296.

I wasn't going back to 1296, but an online friend convinced me. I did miss everyone, and it was lonely in 1663.

I still go back and keep up 1663 thought.

I genuinely feel like a different player than before. My loyalty has changed.

I have fun now, joke around, and enjoy rebuilding in a farm alliance. Although I may never be ready to go back to a main, I am sure eventually I will.

Until Later, Bye Ann