#z wrires

[callsigns-haze]

Another announcement yet again

Two this week huh?! Probs not the best thing ever but yet here we are.

Tbh I don't think I have left too many things lying out unfinished I might delete one of my series and you know I was only one part in and not much attention either so no big deal.

I did post like a little peak of one but it's fine. That can wait or just never happen.

I have exams coming up soon and won't have any time to post anything but in fairness I feel like I'll be around here till the end of this month then I'll probably pull what I did from April to June but this time I'll probably be gone most of the time for possible 6 months maybe?!

I'll still be posting some fics if I have time. I'm about to close my requests because I won't have time. My exams are in January and then again in June and these go on my cert so this matters a lot to me.

Tbh some of my things don't even get acknowledged around here anymore so let me be honest this will be a small change to your blogging life.

I go back to sports in two weeks so then I'll be busy 24/7 and studying matters to me this year, a lot.

I've also been feeling really sick recently so this is not making anything better. I'm out of my hand brace and finger splints but still don't feel all nice and fuzzy.

Here's the real shit.

I have really bad anxiety. Like absolutely shit.

Over the period of my whole life I have ended up in hospital due to severe panic attacks and other issues.

It sucks how these things come back huh?

I was talking today with one of my friends Maria that last year was the worst year for me with my attacks but this year they seemed to calm down. In the month of September I would say I only had like 3.

I spoke about this to my doctor and she said maybe it's because I can do sports so I'm calm or maybe I found a better routine. Then why do I feel so shit on my day off?

I just had a conversation with a mutual and currently I'm legit on the edge like all this trauma and shit just flooded back and is sitting on my chest and yet I can't do shit about it.

Last year on the third of October someone passed away that was somewhat involved with me but that's nothing relevant to me or what I feel.

People on this very app ruined my experience at the end of last year and I was close to another attempt.

But right now out of September I only had 3 panic attacks that month I had 4 today and it's the first of fucking October.

Am I sobbing currently yes. I can't control it anymore. I don't want to have to keep on writing more as right now it doesn't please me.

My writing isn't so great in the first place. My first language was polish and I only started to get English properly by 8 so I see where my fics do not have the best range.

I really wanted to reach 1k followers by the end of this year but there's nothing to go off on anymore.

I will be online for a bit and I will be DM people I like to text but mostly don't be surprised if I don't answer too much. I'm not in a good space at all.

I'll probably be doing a bunch of rants on my blog and if you don't want to see it just don't read or just ignore.

I need the trauma to fucking go away but I'm shit at talking.

[icseesiniz]

Aklım fikrim sende, senin gelişinde, seni ne zaman göreceğimde, seni nasıl göreceğimde, beni görür görmez ne diyeceğinde...

[im-like-taetae]

A-Z Game

Tagged by: @4-rmv

Rules: Answering the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to know better

Age: 18

Birthplace: Argentina

Current time: 3:10 pm

Drink you last had: water

Easiest person to talk to: my therapist lmao

Favourite song: I’m currently obsessed with Heize “You, Clouds, Rain” and Hashtag “ㅇㅇ” (btw it’s a new girl group and if you could check out the song would be great)

Grossest memory: When i was little my cousins were angry at me, my sister and my cousin Melisa because we made their sister cry (in our defense, she was overreacting) and they threw us a bucket full of grasshoppers and it was gross we were so angry dsjk

Hogwarts House: I feel like I’m a mix between Slytherin and Ravenclaw

In love: Does Taehyung count?

Jealous of people: eh yes, I’m such a jealous person it’s annoying, I never show it but inside I’m a mess. I got jealous when my friends meet with their others friends and Ugh i hate myself.

Killed someone: What I’m supposed to wrire here djdj

Love at first sight or should I walk by again?: Walk by again lmao

Middle name: Marisol. I don’t like it but whatever

Number of siblings: two. A little sister and a little brother.

One wish: i really don’t have one? I don’t have any aspirations in life and that’s so sad omg, I’ll wish for Taehyung’s happiness.

Person you called last: My dad

Questions you’re always asked?: “Why are you always so difficult?”

Reasons to smile: kittens

Song you last sang: into the new world - snsd

Time you woke up: 11am

Underwear colour: Red

Vacation destination: uh I’m not sure if I’m supposed to write where i went or where do i want to go, so I’ll say i want to visit france or italy

Worst Habit: i never know what to do with my hands so I’m always pulling my hair or cleaning my nails or cracking the bones of my fingers

X-rays: so my mom once told me to have an eye on my brother (he was 4 i think and i was 12) and of course i didn’t hear because i was busy watching tv (ugh) and then we heard my brother suddenly crying and he was under the car jsdkj we ran (not literally) to the hospital, my mom was so angry at me, my dad felt horrible because he didn’t see him and i felt like shit and my brother was crying and i kinda was too but i didn’ want anyone to see. Then they did x-rays to him and luckily (i don’t know how but thanks) nothing was bad. That day was so stressful omg

Your favourite food: pasta

Zodiac sign: Libra

I’ll tag: @bwinkook @taeguk @dumbndumber @v-kook-hell @allthingstaekook