#z archive.poem

[blurring-poetry-and-idiocy]

i can turn off the music close my eyes and dance inside my own head

I can live a life full of joy and let my thoughts become water, flowing out and away

i let them turn into hard stone and i sit with crossed legs staring and observing the boulder is crushing me I can’t breathe, cant see a difference between my body and the rock i take my knife and carve stone i slash until there is air i cut until it has become dust

[blurring-poetry-and-idiocy]

i long for softness to be gentle i dream of being a feather pillow i need you to lay your head on me and feel safe i beg god to shape me into something loveable into big brown eyes

i was little and alone and content jaded and carved into kindness into masqueraded love

i fear looking grotesque now that i am not a child my nature is sin

[blurring-poetry-and-idiocy]

i’ll run away be the frightened cat If you call for me i’ll hiss and scratch i hold your love close to me in the dark and lonesome your tender warmth feels like fire with you i feel burned

im nothing in your eyes im dirt and rocks and mud you walk on me, i am your ground i am nothing when you’re here

but if i kiss you softly enough and hold you close enough i’ll become the shiny crystals that catch your eye on the forest floor

then you’ll love me then.