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laugtherhyena · 2 months ago

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merry christmas!

Maybe, in another universe,

Benitsuru tightened the grip she had on her pajamas. Her father still wasn't home-- he said he'd be back early tonight.

People have time for me.

Hamato had to go a bit ago. She didn't understand why-- buncha grownup nonsense words leaving his mouth. Probably just an excuse to get away from her.

Maybe, in another universe,

The old grandfather clock began to chime. She hated that chime. Hated that it signified that same-old excuse that her so-called father made.

I'm not a burden.

She should be in bed by now. It was reaching 22:00, which meant she should be sound asleep. But she didn't feel sleepy.

Maybe, in another universe,

Her hands, small as can be, reached up and tangled in her brown hair. And she began to tug, tug, tug. The way it tugged at her scalp hurt, but it was a habit that she struggled to break out of.

She's here, instead of me.

Her gaze fell onto the picture above the fireplace as she tugged on the locks of her hair. Two women that she couldn't really remember-- her Mother, and her Sister. Benitsuru knew that neither her brother nor her father would ever admit it, but they're both constantly grieving.

Maybe she should be grieving, too. Grieving for a mother who died saving her. Grieving for a sister who died for no reason.

It was hard to grieve people she didn't remember.

Maybe it would've been better for her to swap places with those two. They'd both be alive, and....

She was too young to think about that.

You know what's sad?

Hamato was an unplanned child, Kanata on as well since the Ando's couldn't ever expect such situations like her accident's to unfold, but Benitsuru?

Yukari wanted another child because hers were growing up so fast, and Hikaru agreed with her that they could have a third child even if they were in their 40s already.

She was the one child they planned and the one that, due to terrible circumstances, received the least care from both growing up.

So it's really no wonder why she lached onto Kokoro out of all people as a mother figure; Her dad was hardly at home, and with Yukari out of the picture, that was the one adult woman who gave her the time of day. The same one who helped diagnose her when her dad didn't had time to investigate her mental turmoil, the one that would gladly anwser all of her questions about mentall illnesses and other topics alike, the one that would let her stick around he work place and help her even if just a little.

It doesn't matter if she doesn't act like a mother or sees her as a daughter, it doesn't matter that their time together wasn't all that long due to her sentence. That was the closest thing she's ever had to a mother in her life (why do you think her glasses are so big and round? Her father's don't look like that.), so regardless, she will still care. She will still visit.

(This isn't to say Beni is like,, A Kokoro apologist or that she excuses her actions. As an adult she knows about everything she did and she by no means dismisses it or tries to excuse it in one way or another. It's disgusting, its monstruous, but that's still the woman that she had nothing but good memories with when she was little. I don't think Beni can just do a 180 and start hating someone she had such a good view off first and foremost + It helps that -2+2 Kokoro feels remorse for her actions and regained her empathy from her time in th Sdra2 killing game)

And since I'm turning this gift into Beni rambke central i might as well elaborate here why her views on Yukari and Kanata are so drastically different when both of them are people who died when se was too young to remember them.

With Kanata, she learned all about how kind and great of a person she was from the surviours, mainly Kizuna due to how close they were and how she wanted to get to know and help Kanata so family in any way she could after the killing game. She heard nothing but great things about her big sister, hence why the admiration. The same that led to her asking more about Kanata to Hamato and even Hikaru when he was around, and obviously the thing that led to her wanting to pursue a careers in the medical field as well. It's like their getting ever so slightly closer even if forever apart.

But Yukari? The only people who could tell her of her mother were her family. Hikaru is busy as always and talking about her hurts him the most, Hamato is a more willing, but other than telling her some basics and showing her a few things he liked, he was grieving too, he couldn't say much.

It is easier for them to talk about her now that it's been a long time, but as an adult it's not like Beni wants to hear about her much anymore.

#GROWLING AND FROTHING AT THE MOUTH MIKA THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER #genuinely i love this so much #the structure and the feelings #i think you captured how her kid self felt about this really well #as an adult i feel like she feels a sliver of resentment towards Yukari so she would be a little angrier (Kanata would remain the same tho)#kinda like SU future Steven's feelings on his mother #you wanted me. you brought me here and you couldn't be here for me #kinda thing that she knows is irrational in a sense but it's not like one can control their own feelings #this is lowkey why i like the glasses thing a lot. mainly in my style more than the sprites themselves #because the biggest thing Beni has from Yukari are her eyes. and the glasses cover them up entirely #like replacing what she has from her mom with things from the “other mother”#the family unit in this girl's mind is nothing short of incredibly messy #hyena ramblings #dra #oc #Benitsuru Ando

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cinnoasch · 1 year ago

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Valentine's Day: SEES Edition

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day! I didn't have time to make any for the girls but I might post some later! This was also my first-time writing Shinji so hopefully he's not too out of character. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2886

Minato Arisato

You sigh slightly, turning a box of chocolates over in your hands. You were definitely making this out to be more of a big deal than it was. The school day had ended and you were still sitting there in the classroom. Yukari and Junpei had already left to go back to the dorms and Minato had wandered off somewhere as per usual.

You were planning to give this box of chocolates to Minato, just to show your appreciation for everything he’s done for SEES. But your nerves got the best of you. This morning, you had walked to school with him and when you tried to give him the box, you immediately went silent when he looked at you. And at lunchtime when you saw him in the hallway, you had turned on your heel when your eyes met.

You lay your head on your desk sighing once again. “Darn it…”

“Who’s that for?”

Your head shoots up from your desk as you look to see Minato standing next to you. You didn’t even hear him come in.

“Minato! You’re still here. O-oh, um…” You stammer. You look away, tilting the box towards him. “...They’re for you, actually. Just as a thank you for everything you’ve done with SEES and all.”

“Oh. Thanks.” He takes the box and you let out a sigh of relief.

“ …you were really nervous, huh?”

You look at Minato, seeing a slight smirk on his face. “You noticed…?”

“Kinda hard not to. You avoided me all day.”

“Not my fault…”

He chuckles, “Thanks anyways. I appreciate it. Next year though, it’d be nice to see your face when you hand these to me.”

Your eyes widen and your face flushes as Minato grins. “Wanna head back to the dorms? We can share these.”

You laugh slightly as you stand up. “You’re really something sometimes… yeah, let’s head back.”

You follow Minato out of the classroom, the two of you chatting quietly. Maybe things didn’t go as planned, but in one way they worked out. Next year, you definitely would face him with a smile.

Junpei Iori

“Dude, did Y/N give you chocolates?” Junpei asks as he sits on the couch next to Minato. Akihiko was also present, sitting on the couch across from them.

“Yeah.” Minato replies, “Why?”

“I also got some too.” Akihiko adds, looking up from his boxing gloves. “What? They didn’t give you any?”

Junpei groans. “No… I mean Yuka-tan, Fuuka and Mitsuru-senpai gave me some, but that’s more of a teammate thing right? I dunno, I feel like Y/N and I are… more than that, or something.”

Neither Akihiko or Minato respond and Junpei groans again. “Oh c’mon, you guys have nothing to say?”

Minato shrugs. “Did you ask them out?”

“...no. I mean not yet at least.”

“There’s your answer then.”

“Dude, you're no help at all.” Junpei sighs, leaning his head back on the couch. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Maybe you just need to be patient. I don’t even think Y/N came back to the dorms yet.” Akihiko says.

“But the day’s almost over! …Okay, I’m going to look for them!”

Junpei gets up and heads out the door without another word. Meanwhile Mitsuru and Yukari enter the lounge from upstairs.

“He has a bit too much energy don’t you think? Should he really be worried about whether Y/N is giving him chocolates or not?” Yukari says with a sigh.

“Hey, let him be. He’s gotta put that energy to use somehow.” Akihiko replies.

Mitsuru sighs. “If only he’d have that amount of energy when it comes to his studies.”

---------------------------------

“Huh? My package hasn’t arrived yet? But I got an email saying it arrived today…” You say to the mail carrier.

“I’m sorry. It was expected to arrive today, but due to unforeseen conditions, it’s been delayed.”

You sigh. “I see… Well, thank you then. Could you give me an estimated arrival date?”

“It should arrive in about 2 days.”

“Great… thank you again.”

You exit the post office sighing once again as you start walking back towards the monorail. Well, there went your plans for the rest of the day. You wanted to surprise a certain someone with a co-op game the two of you mentioned playing together a while ago. You should’ve known there was no way that the game would actually arrive on the day of. Sure, it could have been better planning on your part, but the whole thing had slipped your mind up until last week.

Suddenly you hear a familiar voice call your name.

“Y/N! Finally, I found you!”

You look up and see Junpei running towards you.

“Junpei? What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been looking for you. Damn, I had no idea where to look so I’ve been running around all over the place.”

“Oh, I was on my way back to the dorms anyways. Were you worried about me or something?”

He chuckles a bit nervously. “Uh, yeah something like that.” Then he looks behind you. “The post office, huh? Picking up something?”

“Ah, yeah I was, but it turns out it’s not here yet.” You smile slightly. “I meant to order it way earlier, but I forgot. Kind of silly of me to think that it would actually arrive today.”

“Was it something for Valentine’s Day?”

“Yeah actually�� wait, why are you asking so many questions?”

“N-no reason… Why are you getting so defensive?”

You cross your arms, looking at Junpei with a smirk. “Ohh, I see. You were looking for me because you were expecting a Valentine’s Day gift, right?”

Junpei scoffs. “No, why would I be expecting something? Valentine’s isn’t even that big of a deal.”

“Uh-huh… so I guess you don’t want your gift when it arrives then.”

His face lights up. “Wait, you got me something? For real?”

“And here I thought you were worried about little ol’ me.”

“Hey, who says I wasn’t?”

You laugh. “I’m just teasing. I appreciate you coming to look for me, even if it was only to get your gift.”

“And if my gift is right in front of me?”

A beat of silence passes and Junpei laughs nervously. “That was lame, forget I said anything.”

“It was a little lame… but I don’t mind it.” You say, whispering the last part. “Anyways, let’s head back to the dorms.”

“Did you say something? Something along the lines of ‘ I don’t mind it’?”

You don’t say anything as you start to walk past him.

“Hey c’mon! I’m just playin’!”

Akihiko Sanada

“Hey guys,” You say walking downstairs into the lounge. “What are you up to?”

“Oh, hey Senpai.” Junpei says with a grin. He and Minato were sitting at the table with a large pile of small boxes in front of them. They were all wrapped nicely with ribbons. “We’re just going through Akihiko-senpai’s Valentine’s Day gifts.”

“Uh, isn’t that an invasion of privacy?”

“Not necessarily. He gave us permission to look through them. You should’ve seen him when he came back to the dorms. He had no clue what to do with all of it. He said we could take some if we wanted. Man, getting all of this from girls and he just gives it away?”

“Well, it’s not like he’d eat it all anyway.” You say, then you look over at Minato. “I didn’t think you’d be taking some.”

Minato shrugs. “Free SP items, I’m not complaining.”

“Right…so where’d Akihiko head off to?”

“I think he said something about going for a run towards the shrine. He left not long ago so you could probably catch up to him.” Junpei replies.

“Thanks, see you guys later.”

You set off towards the shrine hoping to find Akihiko. When you arrived, the sun was setting, the pink and orange hue gently enveloping the area. You spot Akihiko sitting on top of the jungle gym, looking at the sky.

“Hey there Mr. Popular.” You say walking up. “You look worn out.”

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Akihiko asks, a surprised look on his face.

“I heard from Minato and Junpei that you might be here. Mind if I join you?”

“Yeah, come on up.”

You climb up the jungle gym and Akihiko gives you a hand to lift you up. You sit next to him, looking up at the sky. “So, you had quite a day, huh? I saw Junpei and Minato with your gifts in the lounge.”

Akihiko lets out a sigh. “Yeah. You wouldn't believe the amount of people in my classroom during lunch. Even the teacher had trouble getting them out of there.”

“Heh, I bet. I could hear those girls from down the hallway. ‘Sanada-senpai, these are for you!’ ‘Happy Valentine’s Day Sanada-san, please accept these!’ And so on and so forth.”

He hums in reply, chuckling slightly at your impression. Silence settles between the two of you as you continue to watch the sunset on the horizon. Then Akihiko speaks up.

“So, what brought you all the way over here? You weren't looking for me were you?”

“I was actually.” You say, handing two small boxes over. “You're probably tired of hearing this, but Happy Valentine's Day, Aki.”

Akihiko freezes when he hears the nickname and his face flushes, his ears are tinted red. You laugh a bit when you see his expression. “Sorry, it slipped out. I must've picked it up from Shinjiro. I’ll be more careful.”

“N-no! I mean…” Akihiko clears his throat, taking the boxes. “It's fine. You can call me Aki… if you want.”

You smile. “Maybe I will. It's pretty funny to see you like this.”

“Hey, don't tease me.” He sighs. Then he starts to open one of the boxes. “Hm, dark chocolate?”

“Yeah, you don't like sweets that much right? I figured you might like it better than milk chocolate.”

Akihiko nods as he takes a piece out, popping it into his mouth. “It’s good. Not too sweet, and it has some bitterness to it. This is something I wouldn’t mind having every once in a while.”

“Good, cause I know how to make them.”

“You made these?”

“I asked Shinjiro for help… which is probably where I picked up calling you Aki.” You chuckle nervously. “If you want I can give you the recipe.”

“Hm, how about we make it together then? It’d probably be good for me to learn how to make something more complex anyways.”

“Sure. We can get Shinjiro to join in as well.”

“Heh, he’d probably just yell at me whenever I do something wrong.”

The two of you laugh as Akihiko goes to open the other box. He unwraps it, revealing a small keychain, a pair of boxing gloves to be exact. He looks at you, holding it up. “You got these for me?”

You nod. “I saw it at Paulownia Mall one day and you came to mind. Sorry, it’s a bit cheesy, isn’t it?”

Akihiko shakes his head, a small smile appears on his face. “No, I don’t think so at least. Hearing you say that you thought of me… it’s a nice feeling. I’ll have to put this on my bag so that way I can think of you when I see it.”

This time you freeze at Akihiko’s words, you can feel your face flush as you try to come up with a response. You weren’t even sure if he realized the effect of his words.

“Hm? What’s wrong? Your face got all red… well it is getting a bit chilly, huh? Do you want to head back to the dorms?”

“Ah… yeah, let’s head back.” You say with a smile. You climb down the jungle gym and Akihiko follows you down.

“Hey actually, how about we get some beef bowls? It’ll be the perfect thing to warm you up.”

“Okay,” You say, winking playfully before you take off running. “Last one there is paying!”

“H-hey! You got a head start, that’s cheating!”

Shinjiro Aragaki

“Okay, and now we wait…” You mumble quietly, putting a tray of chocolates into the fridge.

You’re currently in the kitchen, attempting to make a batch of chocolate for Valentine’s Day. Well, before the end of the day that is. Yes, you were a bit late, but for good reasons. Shinjiro was always away from the dorms so you couldn’t really ask for his preferences in sweets. At this point, it wasn’t any secret who you were making these for since you had to ask the other SEES members for information. Interestingly enough, there was no one in the dorms so you figured they all had plans for today.

You let out a sigh as you lean against the counter. To be honest, you weren’t exactly sure what led you to make chocolates for him. Maybe curiosity? Despite having been a part of the team for a while, you barely knew anything about him. You weren’t the most stealthy person; so when you tried to follow Shinjiro once, he immediately caught you and told you to go back to the dorms. You did try to follow him again a few times after that, but of course failed. He didn’t seem much for conversation either so you never really talked to him, but you suppose you should have tried harder if you were really curious about him.

Just then the dorm doors open and you step out of the kitchen to see who it is.

“Oh, you’re back early today.” You say, seeing Shinjiro walk inside.

He looks up at you then averts his gaze. “Yeah.” He glances around. “...it’s quiet today. Guess you’re the only one here?”

“Mhm, looks like everyone has plans.”

Shinjiro stays quiet for a moment then looks at you again. “Are you making chocolate? I smelled it when I came in.”

You nod. “I’m just waiting for it to harden. Want to wait with me? I could use the company, and you could be my taste tester.”

He lets out a sigh, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. “I might as well. Not like I got anything better to do.”

“Perfect!”

You turn on your heel, walking back into the kitchen as Shinjiro joins you. Once he steps into the kitchen, his attention is drawn to the bowls on the counter. “You added filling?”

“Yeah, it’s dark chocolate so I figured it would be a nice contrast. You aren’t allergic to raspberries are you?”

“No.”

After that curt response, silence fills the space. Well, this was more awkward than you wanted it to be. Your gaze falls onto the bowls and you walk over, picking one up and bringing it to the sink.

“Uh, do you want to dry these after I wash them?”

Shinjiro only nods as he picks up a drying cloth and you start washing the bowls. It's only when you hand him a bowl to dry that he says something.

“...So, I heard you've been asking about me.”

You freeze slightly, then you chuckle. “Yeah, I have. Let me guess… Junpei?”

“Yeah.” Shinjiro sighs. “Y’know, if you wanted to know about me… you could’ve just asked.”

“I know. I just didn’t want to bother you.”

“You could just say you were intimidated.”

“No-no! I wasn’t. I’m not…well, maybe a little, but I was only asking the other members for good reasons.” You say handing him the last bowl. You turn off the faucet and dry your hands. “Those chocolates in the fridge are for you.”

Shinjiro looks at you in surprise. “Me?

“Yeah, I guess you can consider them as… friendship chocolates? I was wondering what you liked in terms of sweets so I was asking around. I guess I went with raspberry filling since it's close to the color of your jacket.”

He looks at his jacket. “...I guess.” He sets the bowl down along with the towel and leans against the counter. “Well, next time, you can just ask me. We’re teammates right? You don’t have to be scared to ask me stuff. It’s not like I’ll bite or anything.”

You laugh a bit. “Right, I’ll keep that in mind.” Your gaze turns towards the clock and you walk towards the fridge. “I think they might be done now.”

You take the tray out and set it on the table, touching one of the chocolates to see if it’s solid. You nod happily and pick one up to give to Shinjiro. “Here!”

Instead of taking it with his hand, he leans his head down to pick it up with his mouth. You freeze once again when his gaze meets yours, then he raises his head, chewing the chocolate.

“Hm, not bad. This is your first time making it right?”

“O-oh, um yes.” You say, glancing away from him.

“Next time, you should try to add more cocoa powder for the bitterness. You were going for dark chocolate, yeah?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure how much to add.”

You feel his hand fall on top of your head as he ruffles your hair. “We can make them together next time then. Don’t look so down.”

You smile, “I look forward to it then.”

#persona 3 x reader #persona 3 #akihiko sanada x reader #x reader #minato arisato x reader #makoto yuki #junpei iori #shinjiro aragaki x reader

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