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moonlightreal · 3 years ago

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So, this book is a scam.

Kind of. Accidentally maybe? So I took a family studies class and my teacher listed Annual Editions: The Family as one of our required textbooks. So I bought it, since required. But when I was writing one of the assigned article summaries i was too lazy to walk across the room and get the book so i googled the article and there it was free on the internet.

It wasn’t until class was almost over that it occurred to me to wonder just how many of the articles were free on the internet and spent a few hours googling every title in the book. Out of 56 articles four were only available to people with a subscription to The Atlantic and six I could only find as abstracts.

So my classmates and I dropped good money mostly for free articles! A scam? I can’t think of any other word for it. During a global pandemic while some of us have lost our jobs. That’s pretty epic scummy. Did our teacher know? I did ASK the teacher-- nicely, didn’t want to accused her. She dodged the question and just said “students like having the articles all in one place.” I don’t think my kind teacher was scamming us, I think she just didn’t think. The publisher may actually be epic scummy.

So if you get assigned an Annual Editions, try to wrangle a list of articles out of your teacher so you don’t have to pay for it. And then be angry. In these uncertain times we gotta protect people from scumbaggery when it appears.

Annual Editions: The Family Forty-Third Edition

Unit 1 Evolving Perspectives on the Family

1.1 Five Reasons We can’t Handle Marriage Anymore by Anthony D’Ambrosio

https://blog.cambly.com/2015/07/25/five-reasons-we-cant-handle-marriage-anymore/

1.2 Family matters by W. Bradford Wilcox

https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/01/new-harvard-study-where-is-the-land-of-opportunity-finds-single-parents-are-the-key-link-to-economic-opportunity.html

1.3 The New Nuclear family by Suzy Kimm

https://newrepublic.com/article/122349/new-nuclear-family

1.5 Migration and Families Left behind by Sylvie Demurger

https://wol.iza.org/articles/migration-and-families-left-behind/long

1.6 American’s (sic) Think Their Own families Are great But like Judging Other People’s, A New report Suggests by Amanda Marcotte

https://www.salon.com/2016/10/24/americans-think-their-own-families-are-great-but-like-judging-other-peoples-a-new-report-suggests/

1.7 Why We Need to separate Kids from tech—Now by Martha Ross

https://www.mercurynews.com/2015/05/19/why-we-need-to-separate-kids-from-tech-now/

Unit 2 Exploring and Establishing Relationships

2.1 What Schools Should Teach Kids About Sex by Jessica Lahey

https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/03/what-schools-should-teach-kids-about-sex/387061/

2.2 Sex and the Class of 2020: How Will hook-ups Change? By Conior Friedersdorf

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/10/what-sex-on-campus-will-look-like-for-the-class-of-2020/381572/

2.3 There’s No Such Thing as Everlasting love (According to science) by Emily Esfahani Smith

https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/theres-no-such-thing-as-everlasting-love-according-to-science/267199/

2.5 Sliding Versus Deciding: How Cohabitation Changes Marriage by Galena Rhodes

http://familyinamerica.org/files/9014/7274/6179/Rhoades.pdf

2.6 Is There a Shortage of Marriageable Men? By Isabel Sawhill and Johanna Venator

https://www.brookings.edu/blog/social-mobility-memos/2015/09/22/is-there-a-shortage-of-marriageable-men/

2.8 Teen Moms need support not shame by Alex Ronan

https://www.thecut.com/2015/05/teen-moms-need-support-not-shame.html

2.9 What Happens to a Woman’s Brain When She Becomes a Mother by Adrienne LaFrance

https://www.baby-chick.com/what-happens-to-a-womans-brain-when-she-becomes-a-mother/

Unit 3 Family Relationships

3.1 Can Attachment Theory Explain All our relationships? By Bethany Saltman

https://www.thecut.com/2016/06/attachment-theory-motherhood-c-v-r.html

3.2 The Marriage Mindset by Annemarie Scobey

https://www.thefreelibrary.com/The+marriage+mindset%3A+lasting+love+isn%27t+just+a+matter+of+the+heart...-a0464449743

3.4 The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Married Forever by Janet Clegg and Hilary Browne Wilkinson

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3728507/The-divorce-lawyer-s-guide-staying-married-forever.html

3.6 Parenting Wars by Jane Shilling

https://www.newstatesman.com/lifestyle/lifestyle/2013/01/parenting-wars-tiger-moms-versus-helicopter-parents

3.7 Raising a Moral Child by Adam Grant

https://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/12/opinion/sunday/raising-a-moral-child.html

3.8 The Collapse of Parenting: Why it’s Time for Parents to grow Up by Cathy Gulli

https://www.macleans.ca/society/the-collapse-of-parenting-why-its-time-for-parents-to-grow-up/

3.9 The Science of Siblings by Francine Russo

https://parade.com/23970/francinerusso/the-science-of-siblings/

3.10 How to Make Peace With your Siblings by Evan Imber-Black

https://www.nextavenue.org/how-make-peace-your-sibling/

3.11 The Sandwich Generation Juggling Act by Sherri Snelling

https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2015/12/18/the-sandwich-generation-juggling-act/?sh=614ed73e2643

3.12 More Grandparents Become Caregivers for Grandkids. Is That Good? By Jessica Mendoza

https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2016/0216/More-grandparents-become-caregivers-for-grandkids.-Is-that-good

Unit 4 Challenges and Opportunities

4.1 Anguish of the Abandoned Child by Charles A. Nelson III, Nathan A. Fox, and Charles H. Zeanah Jr.

https://bettercarenetwork.org/sites/default/files/anguish%20of%20the%20abandoned%20child.pdf

4.2 An Epidemic of Children Dying in Hot Cars by David Diamond

https://www.kidsandcars.org/2016/06/29/an-epidemic-of-children-dying-in-hot-cars-a-tragedy-that-can-be-prevented/

4.3 Gluten-free Baby: When Parents Ignore Science by Aaron Hutchins

https://www.macleans.ca/society/health/gluten-free-baby-when-parents-ignore-science/

4.4 Family Privilege by John R. Seita

https://reclaimingjournal.com/sites/default/files/journal-article-pdfs/10_3_Seita.pdf

4.5 Terrorism in the Home by Victor M. Parachin

https://www.coursehero.com/file/26982014/English-3docx/ Full article seems not to be available.

4.6 When Your Parents are Heroin Addicts by Tracey Helton

https://www.thedailybeast.com/when-your-parents-are-heroin-addicts

4.7 “We Never Talked About It”: As Opioid Deaths Rise, Families of Color Stay Silent by Leah Samuel

https://www.statnews.com/2017/02/13/race-stigma-opioid-death/

4.8 Growing Pains: Are Perfect Families a Recipe for Stress? By Vanessa Thorpe

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/08/perfect-families-stress-exhaustion-modern-parents

4.9 Your Kid Goes to Jail, You Get the Bill by Eli Hager

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2017/03/02/your-kid-goes-to-jail-you-get-the-bill

4.10 Separation Anxiety: How Deportation Divides Immigrant Families by Hank Kalet

https://www.njspotlight.com/2016/11/16-11-29-separation-anxiety-how-deportation-divides-immigrant-families/

4.11 Myths about Military Families by Jennifer Woodworth

http://www.eparent.com/military-uncategorized/myths-military-families/

4.13 Working Hard, Hardly Working by Chris Sorenson

https://www.macleans.ca/work/trendswork/working-hard-hardly-working-our-problem-with-productivity/

4.15 Supporting the Supporters: What Family Caregivers Need to Care for a Loved One with Cancer by Leonard L. Berry et all

https://ascopubs.org/doi/full/10.1200/JOP.2016.017913

4.17 Why Do Marriages Fail by Joseph N Ducanto

https://www.newsweek.com/2015/05/29/breaking-hard-do-arkansas-why-divorce-laws-are-getting-stricter-332531.html

4.18 Breaking Up is Hard to Do in Arkansas: Why Divorce Laws Are Getting Stricter by Tracey Harrington

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/22/children-divorce-resolution-survey-rather-parents-separate

4.19 Children of Divorce: 82% Rather Parents Separate Than “Stay for the Kids” by Owen Bowcott

https://herstontennesseefamilylaw.com/2013/02/28/helping-children-endure-divorce/

4.20 Helping Children Endure Divorce by Marlene Eskind Moses

https://aifs.gov.au/publications/family-matters/issue-92/effects-co-parenting-relationships-ex-spouses-couples-step

4.21 The Effects of Co-Parenting Relationships with Ex-Spouses on Couples in Step-Families by Claire Cartwright and Kerry Gibson

https://aifs.gov.au/publications/family-matters/issue-92/effects-co-parenting-relationships-ex-spouses-couples-step

Unit 5 Families, Now and into the Future

5.1 The Changing American Family by Natalie Angier

https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/26/health/families.html

5.2 What Will the Family of the Future Look Like? By Ann Berrington and Agnese Vitali

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/05/what-will-the-family-of-the-future-look-like/

5.3 Why Are Fewer People Getting Married? By Jay L. Zagorsky

https://news.osu.edu/why-are-fewer-people-getting-married/

5.4 Relationships in the Melting Pot by Tina Livingston

https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/healthcare-counselling-and-psychotherapy-journal/july-2015/relationships-in-the-melting-pot/

5.5 Family Diversity is the New Normal for America’s Children by Philip Cohen

https://contemporaryfamilies.org/the-new-normal/

https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2019/11/23/family-diversity-new-normal/

5.7 Strengthening Ties: the Case for Building a Social Policy Centered on Families by Phillip Longman et al.

https://static.newamerica.org/attachments/2886-strengthening-ties/FCSP%20Framing%20Paper.40ac19781c8346d59786b2b1cc973fae.pdf

Articles in The Atlantic, only available with a subscription:

2.7 Not Wanting Kids is Entirely Normal by Jessica Valenti

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/09/not-wanting-kids-is-entirely-normal/262367/

2.10 Sperm donor, Life Partner by Alana Samuels

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/12/sperm-donor-life-partner/383421/

3.3 Masters of Love by Emily Esfahani Smith

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/

3.5 The Gay Guide to Wedded Bliss by Liza Mundy

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/06/the-gay-guide-to-wedded-bliss/309317/

Articles that were not obviously available, or only available as an abstract:

1.4 Bridging cultural divides: The Role and impact of Binational families by Samantha N.N. Cross and Mary c. Gilly

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/270406380_Bridging_Cultural_Divides_The_Role_and_Impact_of_Binational_Families

2:4 Dating as if it were Driver’s Ed by Lisa Jander

4.12 A Whole-Family Approach to Workforce Engagement by Kerry Desjardins

https://stemecosystems.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/awholefamilyapproach.pdf

4.14 In Whose Best Interests? A Case Study of a Family Affected by Dementia by Rachel Webb and Karen Harrison Dening

https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/In-whose-best-interests-A-case-study-of-a-family-by-Webb-Dening/501267662dc1ec43bf8f4f563dd40a2ac39cf10d

4.16 The Challenges of Change: How We Meet the Care Needs of the Ever-evolving LGBT Family? By Nancy A. Orel and David W. Coon

https://asu.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/the-challenges-of-change-how-can-we-meet-the-care-needs-of-the-ev

5.6 Family strengths and Resilience by Eugene C. Roehikepartain and Amy K. Syvertsen

https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1039018

#textbooks #annual editions #is it a scam?

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aaronmaurer · 4 years ago

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TV I Liked in 2020

Every year I reflect on the pop culture I enjoyed and put it in some sort of order.

Was there ever a year more unpredictably tailor-made for peak TV than 2020? Lockdowns/quarantines/stay-at-home orders meant a lot more time at home and the occasion to check out new and old favorites. (I recognize that if you’re lucky enough to have kids or roommates or a S.O., your amount of actual downtime may have been wildly different). While the pandemic resulted in production delays and truncated seasons for many shows, the continued streaming-era trends of limited series and 8-13 episode seasons mean that a lot of great and satisfying storytelling still made its way to the screen. As always, I in no way lay any claims to “best-ness” or completeness – this is just a list of the shows that brought me the most joy and escapism in a tough year and therefore might be worth putting on your radar.

10 Favorites

10. The Right Stuff: Season 1 (Disney+)

As a space program enthusiast, even I had to wonder, does the world really need another retelling of NASA’s early days? Especially since Tom Wolfe’s book has already been adapted as the riveting and iconoclastic Philip Kaufman film of the same name? While some may disagree, I find that this Disney+ series does justify its existence by focusing more on the relationships of the astronauts and their personal lives than the technical science (which may be partially attributable to budget limitations?). The series is kind of like Mad Men but with NASA instead of advertising (and real people, of course), so if that sounds intriguing, I encourage you to give it a whirl.

9. Fargo: Season 4 (FX)

As a big fan of Noah Hawley’s Coen Brothers pastiche/crime anthology series, I was somewhat let down by this latest season. Drawing its influence primarily from the likes of gangster drama Miller’s Crossing – one of the Coens’ least comedic/idiosyncratic efforts – this season is more straightforward than its predecessors and includes a lot of characters and plot-threads that never quite cohere. That said, it is still amongst the year’s most ambitious television with another stacked cast, and the (more-or-less) standalone episode “East/West” is enough to make the season worthwhile.

8. The Last Dance (ESPN)

Ostensibly a 10-episode documentary about the 1990s Chicago Bulls’ sixth and final NBA Championship run, The Last Dance actually broadens that scope to survey the entire history of Michael Jordan and coach Phil Jackson’s careers with the team. Cleverly structured with twin narratives that chart that final season as well as an earlier timeframe, each episode also shifts the spotlight to a different person, which provides focus and variety throughout the series. And frankly, it’s also just an incredible ride to relive the Jordan era and bask in his immeasurable talent and charisma – while also getting a snapshot of his outsized ego and vices (though he had sign-off on everything, so it’s not exactly a warts-and-all telling).

7. The Queen’s Gambit (Netflix)

This miniseries adaptation of the Walter Tevis coming-of-age novel about a chess prodigy and her various addictions is compulsively watchable and avoids the bloat of many other streaming series (both in running time and number of episodes). The 1960s production design is stunning and the performances, including Anya Taylor-Joy in the lead role, are convincing and compelling.

6. The Great: Season 1 (hulu)

Much like his screenplay for The Favourite, Tony McNamara’s series about Catherine the Great rewrites history with a thoroughly modern and irreverent sensibility (see also: Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette). Elle Fanning brings a winning charm and strength to the title role and Nicholas Hoult is riotously entertaining as her absurdly clueless and ribald husband, Emperor Peter III. Its 10-episodes occasionally tilt into repetitiveness, but when the ride is this fun, why complain? Huzzah!

5. Dispatches From Elsewhere (AMC)

A limited (but possibly anthology-to-be?) series from creator/writer/director/actor Jason Segal, Dispatches From Elsewhere is a beautiful and creative affirmation of life and celebration of humanity. The first 9 episodes form a fulfilling and complete arc, while the tenth branches into fourth wall-breaking meta territory, which may be a bridge too far for some (but is certainly ambitious if nothing else). Either way, it’s a movingly realized portrait of honesty, vulnerability and empathy, and I highly recommend visiting whenever it inevitably makes its way to Netflix, or elsewhere…

4. What We Do in the Shadows: Season 2 (FX)

The second season of WWDITS is more self-assured and expansive than the first, extending a premise I loved from its antecedent film – but was skeptical could be sustained – to new and reinvigorated (after)life. Each episode packs plenty of laughs, but for my money, there is no better encapsulation of the series’ potential and Matt Berry’s comic genius than “On The Run,” which guest-stars Mark Hamill and features Laszlo’s alter ego Jackie Daytona, regular human bartender.

3. Ted Lasso: Season 1 (AppleTV+)

Much more than your average fish-out-of-water comedy, Jason Sudeikis’ Ted Lasso is a brilliant tribute to humaneness, decency, emotional intelligence and good coaching – not just on the field. The fact that its backdrop is English Premier League Soccer is just gravy (even if that’s not necessarily represented 100% proficiently). A true surprise and gem of the year.

2. Mrs. America (hulu)

This FX miniseries explores the women’s liberation movement and fight for the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s and its opposition by conservative women including Phyllis Schlafly. One of the most ingenious aspects of the series is centering each episode on a different character, which rotates the point of view and helps things from getting same-y. With a slate of directors including Ryan Bowden and Anna Fleck (Half-Nelson, Sugar, Captain Marvel) and an A-List cast including Cate Blanchett, Rose Byrne, Uzo Aduba, Sarah Paulson, Margo Martindale, Tracey Ulman and Elizabeth Banks, its quality is right up there with anything on the big screen. And its message remains (sadly) relevant as ever in our current era.

1. The Good Place: Season 4 (NBC)

It was tempting to omit The Good Place this year or shunt it to a side category since only the final 4 episodes aired in 2020, but that would have been disingenuous. This show is one of my all-time favorites and it ended perfectly. The series finale is a representative mix of absurdist humor and tear-jerking emotion, built on themes of morality, self-improvement, community and humanity. (And this last run of eps also includes a pretty fantastic Timothy Olyphant/Justified quasi-crossover.) Now that the entire series is available to stream on Netflix (or purchase in a nice Blu-ray set), it’s a perfect time to revisit the Good Place, or check it out for the first time if you’ve never had the pleasure.

5 of the Best Things I Caught Up With

Anne With An E (Netflix/CBC)

Another example of classic literature I had no prior knowledge of (see also Little Women and Emma), this Netflix/CBC adaptation of Anne of Green Gables was strongly recommended by several friends so I finally gave it a shot. While this is apparently slightly more grown-up than the source material, it’s not overly grimdark or self-serious but rather humane and heartfelt, expanding the story’s scope to include Black and First Nations peoples in early 1800s Canada, among other identities and themes. It has sadly been canceled, but the three seasons that exist are heart-warming and life-affirming storytelling. Fingers crossed that someday we’ll be gifted with a follow-up movie or two to tie up some of the dangling threads.

Better Call Saul (AMC)

I liked Breaking Bad, but I didn’t have much interest in an extended “Breaking Bad Universe,” as much as I appreciate star Bob Odenkirk’s multitalents. Multiple recommendations and lockdown finally provided me the opportunity to catch up on this prequel series and I’m glad I did. Just as expertly plotted and acted as its predecessor, the series follows Jimmy McGill/Saul Goodman on his own journey to disrepute but really makes it hard not to root for his redemption (even as you know that’s not where this story ends).

Joe Pera Talks With You (Adult Swim)

It’s hard to really describe the deadpan and oddly soothing humor of comedian Joe Pera whose persona, in the series at least, combines something like the earnestness of Mr. Rogers with the calm enthusiasm of Bob Ross. Sharing his knowledge on the likes of how to get the best bite out of your breakfast combo, growing a bean arch and this amazing song “Baba O’Reilly” by the Who – have you heard it?!? – Pera provides arch comfort that remains solidly on the side of sincerity. The surprise special he released during lockdown, “Relaxing Old Footage with Joe Pera,” was a true gift in the middle of a strange and isolated year.

The Mandalorian (Disney+)

One of the few recent Star Wars properties that lives up to its potential, the adventures of Mando and Grogu is a real thrill-ride of a series with outstanding production values (you definitely want to check out the behind-the-scenes documentary series if you haven’t). I personally prefer the first season, appreciating its Western-influenced vibes and somewhat-more-siloed story. The back half of the second season veers a little too much into fan service and video game-y plotting IMHO but still has several excellent episodes on offer, especially the Timothy Olyphant-infused energy of premiere “The Marshall” and stunning cinematography of “The Jedi.” And, you know, Grogu.

The Tick (Amazon Prime)

I’ve been a fan of the Tick since the character’s Fox cartoon and indie comic book days and also loved the short-lived Patrick Warburton series from 2001. I was skeptical about this Amazon Prime reboot, especially upon seeing the pilot episode’s off-putting costumes. Finally gaining access to Prime this year, I decided to catch up and it gets quite good!, especially in Season 2. First, the costumes are upgraded; second, Peter Serafinowicz’s initially shaky characterization improves; and third, it begins to come into its own identity. The only real issue is yet another premature cancellation for the property, meaning Season 2’s tease of interdimensional alien Thrakkorzog will never be fulfilled. 😢

Bonus! 5 More Honorable Mentions:

City So Real (National Geographic)

The Good Lord Bird (Showtime)

How To with John Wilson: Season 1 (HBO)

Kidding: Season 2 (Showtime)

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy Vs The Reverend (Netflix)

#tv #television

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ricciardhoes · 5 years ago

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what’s on your “getting pumped up” playlist? im tired of daniel’s emo songs tbh help

ohhhh boy here we go (i put it in a read more because it was A LOT i’m sorry)

boogie (the live version bc its better) - brockhampton

i been born again - brockhampton

taxi taxi - cowgirl clue

pasta - aj tracey

blacked out - aj tracey

zulu screams - goldlink, maleek berry, bibi bourelly

kiwi - harry styles

watermelon sugar - harry styles

california here we go - the garden

all smiles over here :) - the garden

die for me - post malone, future & halsey

guys my age - hey violet

ain’t on nuttin - yungen, sneakbo

baby - giggs

red roses - lil skies, landon cube

buck shots - a$ap rocky

dopemang - kiiara, ashley all day

nihilist blues - bring me the horizon, grimes

can you feel my heart - bring me the horizon

happy song - bring me the horizon

that sound - sam fender

faygo dreams - 6dogs

ult - denzel curry

candy - machine gun kelly, trippie redd

no security - skepta

small car big wheels - enjoy

give it to me straight - gus dapperton

i’m just snacking - gus dapperton

amadelle with love - gus dapperton

#am aware i'm v basic no need to tell me x x #anyways i went way overboard with this #i could have put more in but i got lazy I'M SORRY #but this is some of the shit that gets me hype or makes me dance so enjoy lmao #wait ESPECIALLY matt's verse in boogie like i lose my SHIT #AND JOBA'S #ok im done now bye #anon #ask.txt

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luvneedsnosyt · 5 years ago

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My Favorite Albums of 2019 (So Far)

Here is my list of my favorite albums half-way through 2019

You can find my list of my favorite albums of 2018 here And my list of my favorite EPs of 2018 here

My Monthly top albums lists from 2019: January, February, March, April, May

Honorable Mention:

Alice Merton - Mint Genre: Pop

Proof: No Roots / Lash Out

Anderson .Paak - Ventura Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

Proof: Chosen On (Feat. Sonya Elise) / Jet Black (Feat. Brandy)

Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? Genre: Synth-Pop

Proof: bad guy / you should see me in a crown

blackbear - ANONYMOUS Genre: alt-R&B / Hip Hop

Proof: SWEAR TO GOOD / HIGH1X

Bring Me the Horizon - amo Genre: Rock / Alternative

Proof: in the dark / medicine

Cautious Clay - Table of Context EP Genre: R&B / Soul

Proof: REASONS / HONEST ENOUGH

Circa Waves - What’s It Like Over There? Genre: Alternative / Rock

Proof: Sorry I’m Yours / Be Somebody Good

Dabin - Wild Youth Genre: Electronic / Dance / Future Bass

Proof: In Flames (Feat. Lexi Norton) / Alive (Feat. RUNN)

Dawn Richard - New Breed Genre: alt-R&B / Electronic

Proof: shades / sauce

Dermot Kennedy - Dermot Kennedy Genre: Indie Pop / Soul

Proof: Power Over Me / Moments Passed

GoldLink - Diaspora Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

Proof: Zulu Screams (Feat. Maleek Berry & Babi Bourelly) / More

Hozier - Wasteland, Baby! Genre: Indie Pop / Soul / Folk

Proof: Movement / Dinner & Diatribes

James Blake - Assume Form Genre: Progressive Pop / Electronic / Indie Pop

Proof: Barefoot in the Park (Feat. ROSALÍA) / Where’s the Catch? (Feat. André 3000)

Karen O & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock

Proof: Turn the Light / Woman

Kevin Abstract - ARIZONA BABY Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: Joyride / Use Me

Maverick Sabre - When I Wake Up Genre: Pop / Soul

Proof: Slow Down (Feat. Jorja Smith) / Weakness

The List:

16. Little Simz - GREY Area Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: Offense / Boss / Venom / Pressure (Feat. Little Dragon)

15. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Proof: Harmony Hall / This Life / How Long? / Sympathy

14. LÉON - LÉON Genre: Pop / Soul

Proof: Lost Time / Falling / Hope Is A Heartache / You And I // Bonus: Grey - Want You Back (Feat. LÉON)

13. Foals - Part 1: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Genre: Rock / Alternative

Proof: Exits / White Onions / In Degrees / On The Luna

12. Denzel Curry - ZUU Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: ZUU / RICKY / BIRDZ (Feat. Rick Ross) / CAROLMART (Feat. Ice Billion Berg)

11. G Flip - Drink Too Much EP Genre: Pop

Proof: Drink Too Much / Bring Me Home / Killing My Time / About You // Bonus: I Am Not Afraid

10. Elohim - BRAINDEAD EP Genre: Electronic / Synth Pop

Proof: running / tv / metamorphine / flagpole sitta (Harvey Danger cover w/ ALOWNATION)

9. Sigrid - Sucker Punch Genre: Pop

Proof: Sucker Punch / Basic / Don’t Feel Like Crying / Don’t Kill My Vibe // Bonus: Strangers (R3HAB Remix) / Don’t Kill My Vibe (Gryffin Remix)

8. Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

Proof: Cuz I Love You / Soulmate / Tempo (Feat. Feat. Missy Elliott) / Heaven Help Me

7. Seven Lions - Ophelia Volume 1 Genre: Electronic / Dance / Trance

Proof: Start Again (Feat. Fiora) / Ocean (w/ Jason Ross Feat. Jonathon Mendelsohn) / First Time (w/ SLANDER & Dabin Feat. Dylan Mathew) / Dreamin’ (Feat. Fiora) // Bonus: Ocean (Au5 Remix) w/ Jason Ross Feat. Jonothan Mendelson / Dreamin’ (Sunny Lax Remix) Feat. Fiora / Island (Dimibo Remix) (w/ Trivecta & Wooli Feat. Nevve) / Sojourn (w/ Crystal Skies) / Let Go (Festival Mix) Feat. Fiora

6. Maggie Rogers - Heard It In A Past Life Genre: Pop

Proof: Give A Little / The Knife / Alaska / Say It // Bonus: Give A Little (Mokita & GOLDHOUSE Remix) / Alaska (Toby Green Remix) / Alaska (Tycho Remix)

5. Nick Murphy - Run Fast Sleep Naked Genre: Indie Pop

Proof: Harry Takes Drugs On The Weekend / Sanity / Yeah I Care / Dangerous

4. Tyler, The Creator - IGOR Genre: Hip Hop / alt-R&B

Proof: IGOR’S THEME (Feat. Lil Uzi Vert) / EARFQUAKE (Feat. Playboy Carti, Charlie Wilson & Jessy Wilson) / I THINK (Feat. Solange & Ryan Beatty) / WHAT’S GOOD (Feat. slowthai & Jarrod Carmichael)

3. Khalid - Free Spirit Genre: Pop / R&B / Soul

Proof: Better / Right Back / Outta My Head (w/ John Mayer) / Free Spirit // Bonus: Better (Jayvon Remix) / Better (no clue? Remix) / Talk (Disclosure VIP Mix) / Talk (Jarami Remix) / Talk (Alle Farben Remix)

2. Big Wild - Superdream // Superdream (Remixes) EP Genre: Electronic / Synth Pop / Dance

Proof: Joypunks / 6′ to 9′s (Feat. Rational) / No Words / She Makes Magic // Purple Sand (My Home) (pluko Remix) / City of Sound (Crooked Colours Remix) / Heaven (GG Magree Remix)

1. Nilüfer Yanya - Miss Universe Genre: Pop / R&B / Alterntaive

Proof: In Your Head / Paralysed / Tears / Heavyweight Champion Of The Year

Others:

Good: Adela - On The Line EP, AJ Tracey - AJ Tracey, Aldous Harding - Designer, Alesso - ALESSO MIXTAPE - PROGRESSO Vol. 1 EP, Alina Baraz - The Color Of You (Remixes) EP, Allie X - Super Sunset (Analog), Aly & AJ - Sanctuary EP, The Amazons - Future Dust, Anna Clendening - Waves EP, Ari Lennox - Shea Butter Baby, Anna Lunoe - Right Party EP, Ariana Grande - thank u, next, Ashe - Moral of the Story: Chapter 1 EP, Asiahn - Love Train 2, AURORA - A Different Kind of Human, Autograf - Love & Retrograde EP, Avicii - TIM, A1 - Turbulence, Bad Bunny - X 100PRE, Barrie - Happy to Be Here, Bassnector - Reflective (Part 4) EP, Bastille - Doom Days, BAYNK - Someone’s II EP, Beast Coast - Escape from New York, Beirut - Gallipoli , Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center, Betty Who - Betty, Big K.R.I.T. - TDT, Big Thief - U.F.O.F., Blaqk Audio - Only Things We Love, Blu & Oh No - A Long Red Hot Los Angeles Summer Night, Boy Harsher - Careful, Boogie - Everythings for Sale, B00TY - High Art EP, Brasstracks - Before We Go EP, Broken Social Scene - Let’s Try the After (Vol. 1) EP, Broken Social Scene - Let’s Try the After (Vol. 2) EP, Broods - Don’t Feed The Pop Monster, bülow - Crystalline EP, Bun B & Statik Selektah - TrillStatik [Mixtape], Cage The Elephant - Social Cues, Carlie Hanson - Junk EP, Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated, Casey Veggies - Organic, Casey Veggies & Rockie Fresh - Fresh Veggies [Mixtape], Cehryl - Slow Motion, Charly Bliss - Young Enough, Chase & Status - RTRN II JUNGLE, The Chemical Brothers - No Geography, Cherry Glazer - Stuffed & Ready, Choosey & Exile - Black Beans, Christelle Bofale - Swim Team EP, Chrome Sparks - Be On Fire EP, Ciara - Beauty Marks, Citizen Cope - Heroin and Helicopters, Clairmont The Second - The Second’s Do You Drive?, Collie Buddz - Hybrid. Crumb - Jinx, Crystal Fighters - Gaia & Friends, Curren$y & Statik Selektah - Gran Turismo, CZARFACE & Ghostface Killa - Czarface Meets Ghostface, David B - BLEU, Deadmau5 - Polar (Music from the Netflix Film), Deante’ Hitchcock - Just A Sample 2 EP, Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?, DeJ Loaf - Go DeJ Go Vol. 1 EP, Delta Heavy - Only In My Dreams, Destiny Rogers - Tomboy EP, Devin Morrison - Bussin’, Dijon - Sci Fi 1 EP, Dinah Jane - Dinah Jane 1 EP, Diplo - Europa EP, Diplo - Higher Ground EP, DJ Khaled - Father of Asahd, Dog Blood - Turn Off The Lights EP, Dreezy - Big Dreez, The Drums - Brutalism, Dua Saleh - Nūr EP, DUCKWRTH - THE FALLING MAN, ELHAE - Trouble In Paradise, Emily Wells - The World Is Too ___ For You, Emotional Oranges - The Juice, Vol. I, Eric Bellinger - The Rebirth 2, Eryn Allen Kane - a tree planted by water EP, The Faint - Egowerk, FEELS - Post Earth, FIDLAR - Almost Free, flora cash - Press EP, Flume - Hi This Is Flume [Mixtape], Flying Lotus - Flamagra, Frances Cone - Late Riser, FRENSHIP - Vacation, Freya Riding - You Mean The World To Me EP, Froth - Duress, Gary Clark Jr. - This Land, Gesaffelstein - Hyperion, The Get Up Kids - Problems, Giggs - BIG BAD…, girlpool - What Chaos Is Imaginary, gnash - we, GRiZ - Find My Own Way EP, GRiZ - Ride Waves, Gryffin - Gravity Pt. 1 (Remixes) EP, GTA - La Nueva Clásica (Remixes), Gus Dapperton - Where Polly People Go to Read, HÆLOS - Any Random Kindness, The Hamiltones - Watch the Ton3s EP, Hayden James - Between Us, The Head and the Heart - Living Mirage, Helado Negro - This Is How You Smile, Hello Yello - Love Wins EP, Higher Brothers - Five Stars, Hikaru Utada - Face My Fears EP, Holly Herndon - PROTO, Ida Mae - Chasing Light, ilo ilo - wish i said this to u sooner EP, India.Arie - Worthy, Injury Reserve - Injury Reserve, Intellexual - Intellexual, Interpol - A Fine Mess EP, Izzy Bizu - GLITA EP, Jack & Jack - A Good Friend Is Nice, Jacob Latimore - Connection2, Jade Bird - I Get No Joy EP, Jade Bird - Jade Bird, Jaden - ERYS IS COMING EP, Jai Waetford - Figure It Out EP, Jai Wolf - The Cure To Loneliness, James Bay - One My Messy Mind EP, JAMESDAVIS - MASTERPIECE EP, Jamie Cullum - Taller, Jamila Woods - LEGACY! LEGACY!, The Japanese House - Good At Falling, Jasmine Thompson - colour EP, Jay Prince - WONDER EP, Jayda G - Significant Changes, Jean Deaux - Empathy EP, Jenny Lewis - On The Line, Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler - brent EP, jesse saint john - don’t stop dancing. life gets sad. EP, J-E-T-S - Zoospa, JOHN.k - if we never met EP, JOHNNYSWIM - Moonlight, JOHKOY - 404, Jonas Brothers - Happiness Begins, Jordan Rakei - Origin, Josephine Wiggs - We Fall, Judah & The Lion - Pep Talks, Juice WRLD - Death Race for Love, Julia Michaels - Inner Monologue, Pt. 1 EP, Kari Faux - CRY 4 HELP EP, Kasbo - Places We Don’t Know Remix EP, Kaskade - Redux 003, KÁRYYN - The Quanta Series, Kehlani - While We Wait EP, Kelsey Lu - Blood, Kerli - Shadow Works, Kevin Abstract - ARIZONA BABY EP, Kevin Abstract - Ghettoboy EP, Kevin Morby - Oh My God, KIAN - BLISS EP, Kiana Lede - Myself EP, Kishi Bashi - Omoiyari, Koffee - Rapture EP, Ladytron - Ladytron, Lafawndah - Ancestor Boy, Lemaitre - Fast Lovers EP, The Lemonheads - Varshons 2, Lexie Liu - 2030, Lil Skies - Shelby, Lissie - When I’m Alone: The Piano Retrospective, Local Natives - Violet Street, Logic - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Lolo Zouaï - High Highs to Low Lows, Loote - lost EP, Lonas - Youth EP, Lost Kings - Paper Crowns EP, Louis Futon - Way Back When, Loyle Carner - Not Waving, But Drowning, LSD - Labrinth, Sia & Diplo Presents… LSD, Lucky Daye - Painted, Lucy Rose - No Words Left, Mac DeMarco - Here Comes the Cowboy, Mack Keane - Donna Ave EP, Manila Killa - 1993 EP, Malibu Ken (Aesop Rock & TOBACCO) - Malibu Ken, Manatee Commune - PDA, Mansionair - Shadowboxer, Marco McKinnis - E’Merse EP, Maren Morris - GIRL, Maribou State - Kingdoms in Color Remixed, MARINA - LOVE + FEAR, Matt Maeson - Bank on the Funeral, McClenny - I’m Not Here EP, MED & Guilty Simpson - Child of the Jungle, Meg Mac - Hope, Megan Thee Stallion - Fever, Melii - phAses, Mereba - The Jungle Is The Only Way Out, Mickey Kojak - Coming Together EP, Middle Kids - New Songs for Old Problems EP, Mike Posner - A Real Good Kid, Mr. Carmack - Demolish [Mixtape], Mndsgn - Snaxx, MorMor - Some Place Else EP, The National - I Am Easy to Find, Nightly - Talk You Down EP, NIKI - wanna take this downtown? EP, Nina Nesbitt - The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change, no rome - Crying In The Prettiest Places EP, Noah Kahan - Busyhead, Norah Jones - Begin Again, Octavian - Endorphins, ODESZA - A Moment Apart Remixes EP, Offset - Father of Four, Oliver Dion - Exposed, Olivia O’Brien - Was It Even Real?, Omar Apollo - Friends EP, Panda Bear - Buoys, Patoranking - Wilmer, P!nk - Hurts 2B Human, Pink Sweat$ - Volume 2 EP, Phonte - Pacific Time EP, Plaid - Polymer, PnB Rock - TrapStar Turnt PopStar, Pond - Tasmania, PRETTYMUCH - Phases EP, Priests - The Seduction of Kansas, Prince - Originals, PUP - Morbid Stuff, Queen Herby - EP 5, Quelled Chris - Guns, Raja Kumari - BLOODLINE EP, Rat Boy - International Unknown, Raveena - Lucid, Rema - Rema EP, Reptaliens - VALIS, Rich The Kid - The World Is Yours 2, Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats - Anger Management, Rhye - Spirit, Rhys Lewis - In Between Minds EP, Rotimi - Walk With Me EP, Rudimental - Test Our Differences, Ruti - Racing Cars EP, Ryan Leslie - Fleurier Flows EP, RY X - Unfurl, RY X - The Water EP, SAFE - STAY, Said The Whale - Cascadia, St. Lucia - Remixed, Sammie - Everlasting, Santana - Africa Speaks, Santi - Mandy & The Jungle, Sara Bareilles - Amidst the Chaos, SASAMI - SASAMI, Saweetie - ICY EP, ScHoolboy Q - CrasH Talk, The Score - Pressure EP, Seasons - American Authors, Set It Off - Midnight, Set Mo - Surrender, Shafiq Husayn - The Loop, Sharon Van Etten - Remind Me Tomorrow, Shlohmo - The End, Shy Girls - Bird on the Wing, Silversun Pickups - Widow’s Weeds , Skepta - Ignorance Is Bliss, slenderbodies - soraya EP, slowthai - Nothing Great About Britain, Smif-N-Wessun - The All, Snake City - Hurts, SNBRN - Solé, SOAK - Grim Town, SOB X RBE & Hit-Boy - Family Not a Group, SOB X RBE & Marshmello - Roll the Dice EP, Sofia Kourtesis - Sofia Kourtesis EP, Solange - When I Get Home, SonReal - The Aaron LP, StayLoose - The City, Stef Chura - Midnight, Steve Lacy - Apollo XXI, Striking Matches - Morning EP, Styles P - S.P. The Goat: Ghost of All Time, Sufjan Stevens - Love Yourself / With My Whole Heart EP, Summer Walker - CLEAR EP, Sunflower Bean - King of the Dudes EP, Super Duper - Vessels EP, SVEA - This is EP, SYML - SYML, The Tallest Man On Earth - I Love You, Talos - Far Out Dust, Tank and the Bangas - Green Balloon, Tayla Parx - We Need To Talk, Taylor Bennett - The American Reject EP, Tech N9ne - N9na, TENDER - Fear of Falling Asleep, Terror Jr - Unfortunately, Terror Jr, Tiësto - Together, Tink - Voicemails, The-Dream - Menage a Trois: Sextape Vol. 1,2&3, T-Pain - 1UP, TOBi - STILL, Tom Walker - What A Time To Be Alive, Toro y Moi - Outer Peace, Tory Lanez - International Fargo [Mixtape], Trevor Jackson - Rough Draft 2, Tritonal - U & Me , The Vamps - Missing You EP, Various Artists - For The Throne (Music Inspired by the HBO Series Game of Thrones), Various Artists - Music Inspired by the Film Roma, Vasco - Tender Luv EP, Virginia to Vegas - Heartland St EP, Walshy Fire - Walsey Fire Presents: ABENG, Wallows - Nothing Happens, Wand - Laughing Matter, Weezer - Weezer (The Teal Album), Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising, Wild Belle - Everybody One of a Kind, Wu-Tang Clan - Of Mics and Men EP, X Ambassadors - ORION EP, XYLØ - pretty sad EP, Yeasayer - Erotic Reruns, Yeek - IDK WHERE, YG - 4REAL 4REAL, Yhung T.O. - On My Momma 2, Zacari - Run Free Run Wild EP, Zhavia Ward - 17 EP, 2 Chainz - Rap or Go to the League

Meh: A Boogie wit da Hoodie - Hoodie SZN, Berner - El Chivo, Birdman & Juvenile - Just Another Gangsta, Burna Boy & DJDS - Steel & Copper EP, Calboy - Wildboy, Casilofi - Create, Create, Create EP, DREAMERS - LAUNCH FLY LAND, DJ Muggs & Mach - Hommy: Tuez-Les Tous, Future - Future Hndrexx Presents: The WZRD, Future - SAVE ME EP, HiDoraah & Dolly White - Slimestas EP, Kenny Garrett - Hoax, Kevin Gates - Only The General Gon Understand EP, Logic - Supermarket, Miley Cyrus - SHE IS COMING EP, Night Lovell - GOODNIGHT LOVELL, Pet Shop Boys - Agenda EP, Pi’erre Bourne & Cardo Got WIngs - Pi’erre & Cardo’s WIld Adventure [Mixtape], Rod Wave - PTSD, Shy Glizzy - Covered N Blood, Spellling - Mazy Fly, Tee Grizzley - Scriptures, Tyga - Legendary, Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y - 2009, 03 Greedo - Still Summer in the Projects

Naw: Scarlxrd - INFINITY, Weezer - Weezer (The Black Album), Yung Gravy - Sensational, Zheani - The Line Censored

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letterful · 4 years ago

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ON DEATH, WITHOUT EXAGGERATION,

or: a few of my favourite poems about dying, being dead, & the ones who are left behind. some melancholic, some upbeat, some morbid, some euphemistic, some sombre, some tongue-in-cheek, some direct, some not, all good. in no particular order:

— “on death, without exaggeration“, wisława szymborska (oh, it has its triumphs, / but look at its countless defeats, / missed blows, / and repeat attempts!) — “the suicide’s room”, wisława szymborska (a lamp, good for fighting the dark / a desk, and on the desk a wallet, some newspapers / carefree buddha and a worried christ / seven lucky elephants, a notebook in a drawer.) — “the letters of the dead”, wisława szymborska (poor dead, blindfolded dead, / gullible, fallible, pathetically prudent.) (can you tell that i’m very fond of wisława szymborska?) — “harlod’s leap”, stevie smith (it may have killed you / but it was a brave thing to do.) — “not waving but drowning”, stevie smith (i was much further out than you thought / and not waving but drowning) — “a meeting”, wendell berry (he has, / i know, gone long and far, / and yet he is the same / for the dead are changeless.) — “the dead”, billy collins (the dead are always looking down on us, they say) — “memory”, hayden carruth (my dear, / how could you have let this happen to you?) — “her long illness”, donald hall (daybreak until nightfall, / he sat by his wife at the hospital / while chemotherapy dripped / through the catheter into her heart.) — “this is a photograph of me”, margaret atwood (the photograph was taken / the day after i drowned.) — “owl song”, margaret atwood (i do not want revenge, i do not want expiation, / i only want to ask someone / how i was lost, / how i was lost) — “the promise”, marie howe (he looked at me as though he couldn’t speak, as if / there were a law against it, a membrane he couldn’t break.) — “aubade”, philip larkin (being brave / lets no one off the grave. / death is no different whined at than withstood.) — “lady lazarus”, sylvia plath (and i a smiling woman. / i am only thirty. / and like the cat i have nine times to die.) — “edge”, sylvia plath (her bare / feet seem to be saying: / we have come so far, it is over.) — “sylvia’s death”, anne sexton (what is your death / but an old belonging, / a mole that fell out / of one of your poems?) — “a curse against elegies”, anne sexton (also, i am tired of all the dead. / they refuse to listen) — “anne sexton’s last letter to god”, tracey herd (i have just lunched with an old friend / saying goodbye and something / ‘she couldn’t quite catch’.) — “ophelia’s confession”, tracey herd (i didn’t drown by accident. it was a suicide. / at least let me call my mind my own / even when my heart was gone beyond recall.) — “tomorrow they’ll cut me open”, anna swir (i have many powers in me. i can live, / i can run, dance and sing. / all of that is in me, but if need be, / i’ll walk away.) — “biology teacher”, zbigniew herbert (in the second year of the war / our biology teacher was killed / by history’s schoolyard bullies) — “dedication”, czesław miłosz (you whom i could not save / listen to me.) — “dirge without music”, edna st. vincent millay (they are gone. / they are gone to feed the roses.) — the rosie probert scene in “under milk wood”, dylan thomas (remember her. / she is forgetting. / the earth which filled her mouth / is vanishing from her.) — “do not go gentle into that good night”, dylan thomas (old age should burn and rave at close of day; / rage, rage against the dying of the light) — “a quoi bon dire?”, charlotte mew (and everybody thinks that you are dead, / but i.) — “myth”, natasha trethewey (you’ll be dead again tomorrow, / but in dreams you live. so i try taking / you back into morning.) — “i watched you disappear”, anya krugovoy silver (are you there? where? / are the others there, too?) — “i am asking you to come back home”, jo carson (my mamma used to say she could feel herself / runnin' short of the breath of life. so can i. / and i am blessed tired of buryin' things i love.) — “the night where you no longer live”, meghan o’rourke (was there gas station food / and was it a long trip) — “condolence”, dorothy parker (but i had smiled to think how you, the dead, / so curiously preoccupied and grave, / would laugh, could you have heard the things they said.) — “death at daybreak”, anne reeve aldrich (i shall pass dawn on her way to earth, / as i seek for a path through space.) — “fear no more the heat o’ the sun”, william shakespeare (golden lads and girls all must, / as chimney-sweepers, come to dust.) — “sonnet xciv”, pablo neruda (don’t call up my person. i am absent. / live in my absence as if in a house.) — “funeral blues”, w. h. auden (the stars are not wanted now; put out every one, / pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, / pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood) — “the drowned children”, louise glück (but death must come to them differently, / so close to the beginning.) — “because i could not stop for death”, emily dickinson (the carriage held but just ourselves – / and immortality.)

#ok to rb!#poetry recs #lit recs #oh happy days!#i'm not a morbid person though; i swear i am not.#but it's been raining and i guess i've been sad so!#should i make another post about poems on being alive? no or no

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nsfwhiphop · 4 months ago

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Incoming Text for @ellendegeneres and @portiaderossi : Part 2.

Subject Title: Can You Become the Therapists for the Women Addicted to Me? They Are Addicted to the Alien, But He Can't Be There for Them.

Also Important reminder: "Don't forget to use burner phones to remain anonymous when using your phones."

Dear Ellen and Portia,

I need your help. Can you become the therapists for these women who have caught feelings for me? They are in love with an alien and they get sad when they can't be near him. There's a lot of frustration and anxiety in these women's lives. They are not allowed to approach me because of safety and security protocols, which makes them sad and heartbroken.

These women expect me to stay on this blog every day of my life, and I can't do that. I have work to do. I have so many movies to write, so many books to write. I can't spend all my days on this blog anymore.

It's like they refuse to accept my absence, and whenever I disappear for a few days, they experience anxiety and frustration. This is unhealthy for them, and they should seek counseling with you.

They have withdrawal symptoms. They are addicted to my daily blog posts and need to go to detox and rehab.

You will become their therapists, and I'm sure you will have a lot of fun studying their unique stories and helping them cope with my absence.

You are the perfect doctors, Ellen and Portia. I'm sure you will have the perfect answers for these famous women who have become addicted to my blog posts.

I have been writing on Twitter and my two Tumblr blogs for the past seven months. I never took a day off. I shared a lot of valuable information, and now I'm taking time off to work on my books and screenplays.

I'm not a snob. I'm not rejecting my readers, but it is what it is. I have work to do, and I need to focus.

Here is the list of addicted female celebrities:

Halle Berry

Penélope Cruz

Vera Farmiga

Salma Hayek

Gal Gadot

Beyoncé

Rihanna

Eva Mendes

Victoria Beckham

Rosario Dawson

Gina Torres

Zoe Saldana

Jennifer Lopez

Christina Santini

YesJulz

Tanaya Henry

Jessica "Simply Jess" Marquez

Vashtie

Tracey Edmonds

Oprah

Jessica Alba

Joy Bryant

Shakira

Sofía Vergara

Kim Kardashian

Deepika Padukone

Priyanka Chopra

Denise Richards

J.K. Rowling

Janet Jackson

The list is very long. These women need therapy.

I'm so sorry, but I need your support. Can you become their doctor?

I have to leave this blog. I can't be here and work simultaneously on my books and scripts. I have to choose one. Priority is my work.

Thank you, Ellen and Portia. You are the best Hollywood therapists ever.

I just want to help you understand that my blog is very secretive and has ties to AREA 51. These women need a safe space where they can unload all their anxiety, and that's where you come in. You will become their counselor and help them deal with all the information they have absorbed on my blog.

I know you never thought you would become an AREA 51 therapist, but there is always a first time for everything, right?

I'm sure you will do a great job. I have watched countless Ellen Show episodes, and that's what you basically did when you interviewed your celebrity guests. You spoke to them like a therapist. This is nothing new to you. You got this. You will do a wonderful job.

Okay, this chat was fun.

Love you, Ellen and Portia! Have fun. Big hugs for you.

Your alien friend, Angelo.

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letswritefanfiction · 6 years ago

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Pokémon Alphabet Challenge: Q is for Quota

A/N: This takes place just after XY070, Beyond the Rainbow!

Circles were a constant bother in drawing until you realize that, with perspective, nothing is ever a perfect circle. So Tracey had long since given up the elusive goal of mastering geometric shapes in favor of mastering perspective.

But the Ledyba he was currently trying to sketch was certainly making the job difficult. It was flitting about erratically as it flew from flower to flower, helpfully pollinating the more lush areas of Professor Oak’s Pokémon habitat, but constantly changing which angle it was at in relation to Tracey’s hidden spot in the bushes.

Still, a decent sketch was coming together. Working at Professor Oak’s was a dream come true. Not only because Professor Oak was his idol, but because of all the Pokémon he was able to sketch every day, all from different regions. He had even recently been able to start making some serious coin on some sketch commissions. And Professor Oak paid him for his assistance, of course, though most of that was through food and lodging.

“Ehem.”

…Speaking of which…

Tracey jolted up from his spot in the bushes, slightly startling the Ledyba as twigs and leaves went flying and Tracey began rambling. “Sorry, Professor! I was feeding the Pokémon, but I got a little distracted by this perfect Ledy—”

“Tracey.”

“Whaa? Oh. It’s you.”

Tracey rapidly calmed down as he realized that it wasn’t his boss coming to scold him for breaking on the job. There were more Pokémon sent to the lab every day and the job of feeding had just gotten to be too much for the old Professor to handle. So most of the weight had fallen squarely on Tracey’s shoulders, and Gary’s if he was available.

And it was Gary who was in front of him now, looking slightly amused at the outburst, a smirk tugging at his lips. But unlike the Gary that Tracey had met when he’d first come to work at the lab, this Gary had kind eyes twinkling along with it.

“Expecting me to confiscate your art, Tracey?” Gary joked. “I’ll give it back to you after class if you promise not to daydream.”

Tracey blushed. “Sorry. I was just about to move onto the Water Pokémon.”

“Nah, actually I’m here to take over your job,” Gary said, heaving the bag full of Water Pokémon chow onto his shoulder. Somehow he managed to do it a lot more gracefully than Tracey had ever managed to. He usually suffered a bit until the bag got down to half. “You’ve got a phone call.”

“A phone call?”

Tracey grabbed the mostly empty bag of Grass Pokémon chow he’d finished up with before getting distracted, and headed for the lab.

He was slightly sweaty by the time he got inside—early fall in southern Kanto was only modicums better than the heat of the summer—and was thankful that his headband kept the worst of it in check. After all, Gary hadn’t told him who was on the phone, so he wasn’t sure if he had someone to impress or not.

When he finally reached the monitor, it turned out that he shouldn’t have worried.

“Ash! Hey! How’s Kalos?”

“Hey, Tracey,” Ash said, his face shaking slightly in the frame. That and the background of the wilderness gave away the fact that he was using a mobile device for this call. Unusual. Tracey hoped that it didn’t signal anything urgent. “Kalos is great! I just got my fifth Gym Badge, so it won’t be long until I’m qualified for the Kalos League!”

“That’s great news, Ash,” Tracey said. “On this side, your Pokémon are doing really well. All are happy and healthy.”

“That’s really great to hear, Tracey,” Ash breathed, sounding oddly relieved. Like his Pokémon could be in any other condition in the Professor’s—not to mention Tracey’s!—care.

There was a brief moment of silence as Tracey expected Ash to continue, but as that was looking continually less likely, he took it upon himself to get to the point. “It looks like it’s starting to get dark there. Any reason why you’re calling so late?”

Ash glanced back at the sky, the screen wobbling more as he did so. It didn’t look like it was sunset yet, but the sky was looking like it was hitting that point of pale blue-gray just before it did. And since the days were still pretty long, Tracey had to bet that Ash and his friends had already had dinner, and that Ash should be preparing for sleep wherever he was.

“Uh, yeah, kinda,” Ash said, his voice higher than usual. “I guess I just have a lot on my mind.”

Tracey knew that’s when Misty would make a comment about how that was rare or dangerous, but insults aside, Tracey did know that that kind of issue was uncommon for Ash. Honestly, he was kind of flattered that Ash was turning to him instead of just laughing it off with Pikachu or whatever it was that he normally did that kept him so carefree. In fact, Pikachu wasn’t anywhere in frame, which was strange. A chill hit Tracey’s stomach as he hoped that nothing had happened to him.

“Well, what’s up?” he asked, trying not to make any assumptions.

“I…” Ash scratched the back of his head, glancing away from the camera for a second. “I just released one of my Pokémon.”

“Oh, Ash…”

A ragged laugh escaped Ash’s lips. “Yeah. Believe it or not, Lapras was the last one that I did that for. Well, except for Charizard, of course.”

“Gosh, Ash, that’s gotta be tough. I wish I had more to say.”

Truthfully, Lapras’s goodbye had been sad, but Ash hadn’t seemed devastated by it. He’d handled it like a pro. This seemed to be hitting him harder, and it left Tracey unprepared.

“Just remember that it’ll be better off for this, okay?”

Ash looked at Tracey skeptically. “How do you know? You never met Goodra?”

Ah, so it was a Goodra. That would have been interesting to study…Focus, Tracey!

“But I know you,” Tracey said firmly. “I saw what pushed you to release Lapras and it was obvious that that was for the best. Why did you leave Goodra?”

“To go back to its friends now that it was strong enough to protect them,” Ash mumbled.

“Exactly,” Tracey said. With anyone else, that kind of logic would have been a shot in the dark, but with Ash, there was no doubt in Tracey’s mind that he would only leave his Pokémon behind with the best of intentions.

“I just wish it wasn’t so hard. Or that I could see how things turn out.”

As Ash was looking at the ground, the bill of his hat completely shielding his face as the grief seemed to strike him anew, Tracey was hit with an idea.

“What if you could?”

Ash’s head shot up. “What? How?”

“Well, not exactly,” Tracey quickly amended. “But why don’t you give a call to your friend Iris? She was the one you were with when Charizard rejoined your team, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah…” Ash affirmed, looking confused as ever.

“She’ll be able to give you a firsthand account of how great Charizard was doing after spending time away,” Tracey explained. “Just to give you some reassurance.”

Ash nodded slowly. “Right…” Then, all at once, he perked up. “Thanks, Tracey! That’s a great idea!”

“No problem, Ash! Now, if you don’t mind, I have a Ledyba sketch to finish before Gary realizes I’m off the phone,” Tracey said slightly conspiratorially. He rarely planned to goof off at work. It just seemed to happen before he realized it…

“What? You didn’t finish the first time around? You’re usually so fast!” Ash exclaimed.

“Yeah, well this Ledyba wouldn’t stop flittering about and pollinating all the trees.”

“You know what Brock told me?” Ash started. “Just feed it a Nanab Berry. That will keep it from flying so irrita—wait, no—errat…so crazily, you know?”

Tracey thought about it for a second, and it checked out. To think, a piece of advice from Ash, when Ash had been the one looking for advice. Who’d have ever thought such a thing could occur?

“Thanks, Ash! Now, don’t forget not to be a strang—”

Tracey cut himself off when he realized that Ash had already said goodbye and hung up. Tracey shook his head with a good-natured smile as he turned off his own monitor. The kid always had been one-track minded…

Being a new Gym Leader was hard. It felt like every day it was being proven why she wasn’t competent in the job. Yeah, she managed to cream the weak, little kids that showed up thinking that just because she was the newest Gym Leader in the region, she would be a pushover. But then stronger Trainers came to her Gym, thinking the exact same thing. But they destroyed her, especially if they had a solid team of Ice Types. God help her if Fairy Types showed up. Her only blessing was that they were rare in Unova.

Every day was hard. Living in the city still sucked, losing sucked, and to top it all off, she felt like the PIA was looming over her, waiting for her to lose too many Battles.

The only thing that was really getting her by was that she knew what it was to be in this city and hate it. That had been when she’d been in school at the academy. At least here the challenge was Pokémon Battling and proving herself.

That she was prepared to do.

And she’d gotten a membership at a rock climbing gym so that Officer Jenny didn’t have to ride her ass about climbing on city buildings this time around.

She was training her Emolga and Excadrill—her only hopes against Fairy Types—when the phone rang. It was irritating to be interrupted, but when she saw Emolga come to a landing, panting heavily into the dirt floor, she realized that maybe it was time for a break anyway.

“Get some water, guys!” she shouted as she tried to remember where the phone was. Luckily she could just follow the ringing.

Finally, she managed to locate it—left on the kitchen counter—and panted into it, “Hello?”

“Iris?”

“Ash?!” Iris went on the hunt again, this time for the monitor to which the cordless phone was attached. Fortunately, that never moved, so it was much easier to locate, she flicked it on, saying “What a surprise!”

“Yeah!” Ash said. “Listen, I’m calling because, well, see, I caught a Goodra—well, it wasn’t a Goodra then, it was a Goomy—but—”

“You caught a Goodra!” Iris gasped, eyes instantly lighting up. “I dream of having a Goodra on my team!”

Iris let herself fangirl for a second before she noticed Ash’s perturbed expression.

“Sorry. Go ahead.”

“So, the thing is, I just had to release it back into the wild,” Ash admitted. “And, well, I was wondering what you thought of Charizard when you first met him? Since he’s a Pokémon that I let go of, you know?”

Well, now it made sense. Why Ash was calling, why he looked particularly disturbed. And, honestly, now that she knew where it was going, she figured that altering the course was the best route for both of their sakes.

“Oh, Ash, I don’t know what to tell you. Yes, Charizard was strong and very impressive when he returned to your team.” Then, in a grumble: “I mean, he would have beaten me and Dragonite, even though you two had spent years apart from each other.”

Ash was looking at her expectantly, as though he was hungry for more affirmation.

“I don’t think you should regret that choice, and if that helps you feel better about Goodra, then great. But I get the feeling you’re looking for emotional support and, uh, I’m not so good at doing that with humans. I think you should talk to Cilan about all this instead. He might be able to give you what you want.”

Ash’s brow furrowed, like he wasn’t completely following her. “But I don’t know what I want.”

Iris shrugged, offering the best she had: “He might give it to you anyway.”

“Fair enough!” Ash exclaimed. “Good luck with everything at the Gym! Not that you need it, I’m sure!”

“Oh, I need it,” Iris said. Her voice was light with good humor, but something deeper in her expression said that she really believed it.

Ash, who had looked like he was about to hang up, stopped and looked at Iris. “Is everything okay at the Gym?”

Iris sighed heavily, feeling her emotions bubble up a bit as she did so. She took another steadying breath to squash them down. “People just keep on coming in with type advantages and sweeping the floor with me. So many Ice Types…”

He seemed to consider her for a moment before he said, “Well, Excadrill is your only Pokémon that isn’t weak to Ice, so maybe focus on strengthening his Steel moves?”

Iris rolled her eyes. What a kid! “I’ve been doing that already, Ash,” Iris said dryly.

Ash didn’t seem to catch on to her derogatory tone and went back to thinking. Don’t hurt yourself, Iris thought to herself. “Maybe you need to train yourself?” Ash finally suggested. “Maybe part of the problem is that you’re still afraid of Ice Types.”

Iris was about to cut him off and say that that was not true when he barreled on forward.

“Ooh! You should talk to Misty! She totally knows what it’s like to have to bring a Gym up and she has Ice Types! She could totally help you! I’ll give you her number!”

Ash proceeded to do just that while a bewildered Iris sat by, copying the number down out of habit, not even knowing if Misty would know who she was upon calling—she, herself, only had any concept of who Misty was through the stories Ash had told including her back when they were traveling together.

“Great!” Ash exclaimed, clearly excited by his assuredly amazing idea. “Now you call Misty and I’ll call Cilan! Bye-a, Iris!”

Iris sat, looking at the numbers she had scrawled on her arm. She sighed and looked back at the video phone.

It was worth a shot.Things had been tense at the Straiton Gym since Cilan’s return. Unfortunately, that had been many months ago, and Cilan was feeling much like a tough pie dough: overworked.

Somehow, after the debacle with Morana, his brothers had decided that he was head Gym Leader. Even though he was the one who wasn’t even technically in the Trainer class. He was a Connoisseur in addition to being a Gym Leader and restaurant co-owner. So shouldn’t they be the ones picking up the slack?

The problem was, it had happened so subtly that Cilan hadn’t even noticed anything was wrong at first, like unknowingly drinking a mixed cocktail: by the time you realize something’s off, it’s already been going on far too long. Chili and Cress would just hand Battles off to him in favor of working at the restaurant. Cilan hadn’t thought anything of that, especially since Chili usually passed it off with the excuse that Cilan needed to make up for his time away. The excuse had seemed suitable at the time, but now it was past its expiration date. Surely, his brothers couldn’t be holding a grudge against him for that long! They had encouraged him to continue on his journey with Ash, after all.

Cilan was currently trying to work his way out of that very situation with Chili, who was insisting he take on a Battle against a girl and her Pignite. Sure, Chili’s Pansear wasn’t strong against a Pignite, but poor Pansage was weak against it! If anything, Chili should have been bothering Cress, who was only doing some simple baking in the kitchen.

Fortunately, the phone began to ring at that very moment, and Cilan called out a brusque, “I’ll get it!” leaving Chili with his Gym Leader responsibilities.

Saved by the bell, Cilan thought.

The strange thing was that the ringing was the sound of the brothers’ personal phone rather than the restaurant phone. That’s why he was rushing to answer it at all, rather than letting the current hostess on duty answer what would assuredly be nothing more than a reservation or question about the menu. Phone calls in the restaurant were completely ordinary. But Iris and Ash weren’t great about using the phone, so it was more frequent that he made outgoing calls than he or his brothers received any.

“Hello, Striaton Restaurant and Pokémon Gym, Cilan speaking.”

“Hi, Cilan!”

“Ash!” Cilan said in surprise. “A call from you is like an extra helping of dessert! What can I do for you?”

Ash quickly caught Cilan up on what had led up to this particular phone call, and Cilan was left perplexed. He was flattered that Iris thought that he was well suited to the task, but he honestly thought that she was selling herself short. Iris had proved herself to have great empathy, not just for Pokémon, but towards Ash and himself many times over. But he supposed that was a train of thought for another day. Right now, his friend, Ash, needed him.

“Well, if you’d like an ex post facto evaluation between you and Charizard, I can give you one,” Cilan offered.

Ash paused. “Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m looking for.”

“The bond between you and Charizard was like that of a fine ganache. Two ingredients long separated, and wonderful on their own, but whisked together into one perfect creation, glossy, seamless, and delicious. And somehow better together.”

Ash’s head had tilted to the side through the explanation, almost falling out of frame. “Huh? What’s a ganash?”

Cilan sighed; he should have known better than to fall into a food-related rambling around Ash. Inevitably, it would either confuse the boy or make him hungry. “Ash, it was clear that you and your Charizard continued to carry a strong bond even in the years you were apart. That is why you were so strong, even upon your first battle reunited. N said the same thing.”

“He did?” Ash said, looking slightly more interested. “What did he say?”

“Oh, I don’t remember exactly.” It had been a while back; it wasn’t as though Cilan could remember word for word. But somehow, the things N said, tended to resonate more with people than just any old passing phrase. “He said he could sense the bond from when you’d been together, and how strong that was, and he could sense the time that you were apart. But that you were, uh…er…Oh! You were the truest of friends.”

Ash seemed to smile at that, perhaps slightly buoyed by Cilan’s words. Cilan sure hoped so.

“Does that make you feel better?”

“Yeah, a little!” Ash said, cheerily. His inflection sounded more enthusiastic than the paltry words that came out of his mouth. Cilan wasn’t sure which to believe; either way, it made him feel as though he hadn’t completed his duty as a friend.

“You know what?” Cilan asked, struck with inspiration. “Didn’t you trade one of your Pokémon to Dawn back when you were traveling with her?”

“Yeah,” Ash responded, confusion clouding his face once again. “Her Ambipom used to belong to me as an Aipom.”

Cilan almost laughed at Ash’s lack of understanding. Why, it was totally obvious! “You should call Dawn and ask about her Ambipom. Because she knew it when you had it and she can tell you how well it’s been doing since she’s had it.”

All at once, Ash’s face lit up to the expression that Cilan had been hoping to see: Ash’s usual tangible excitement. “That is a great idea, Cilan! Thanks!”

“Wait one second! Cilan is getting no thanks around here!”

Cilan turned around in his chair, surprised to see Chili standing behind him, sweat beaded on his forehead and dampening the shorter sections of his hair. “Chili? What happened? Aren’t you supposed to be battling that challenger right now?”

“I lost, okay? Again! I was going to win, but then his Pignite had to go and evolve into an Emboar!”

“Ooh, cool!” Ash said. Cilan cast him a look, but Chili pointedly ignored him.

“So?” Chili started, impatiently tapping his foot. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Uhh…”

“Sounds like it was a great Battle!”

Chili turned to take in Ash for the first time since he had arrived in the room. “Weren’t you listening? It wasn’t a great Battle! We lost!”

“Everyone loses sometimes,” Ash replied easily. “Losing makes you better too!”

Cilan and Chili turned fully to Ash, considering him more seriously now.

“Besides, it must have been a pretty close Battle if Emboar had to evolve to keep it going, right?”

Chili seemed to soften, some tension releasing from his shoulders, and the veins going back into his neck, like a boiling broth cooling down to a simmer. “Yeah, I guess it was pretty close in the end.”

“I bet it was,” Ash said confidently. “You guys are all such great Trainers!”

“Really?” Chili asked. “But the last time you heard about us battling, Cress and I had just almost lost the Gym.”

“But you learned a lot, right?”

By this point, Cilan was sitting back, watching the exchange between Chili and Ash with a light smile beginning to show on his face.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And you’ve learned a lot since then, right?”

“Yeah…”

“And I bet you learned even from this battle you just had, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” Chili said, some of that fiery light beginning to return back into his eyes.

Ash pumped a fist and returned Chili’s expression. “So now you’re even more prepared for the next Battle that comes your way!”

“Yeah!” Chili exclaimed, returning to the doorway. “Bye, guys! I need to train!”

“Bye!” Ash said, waving despite the fact that Chili was long-gone.

“Thanks for that pep talk, Ash,” Cilan said after a few moments’ quiet.

“What pep talk?” Ash asked. “We were just talking.”

Cilan smiled. Typical Ash. “Yeah, well, thanks for that.”

“Anytime!” Ash said cheerfully. “I have to go call Dawn now. Bye!”

“Goodbye, Ash.”

Not a moment after the call ended, Cilan heard shouting from the kitchen.

“Cilan!” Cilan reflexively turned at the sound of Cress’s voice. “Chili? Anybody?”

Cilan remembered at just that moment that Cress had been holding down the restaurant all by himself that whole time. He hurriedly got up to help his brother serve. Perhaps they would all be a little more balanced in the days to come.

Over the years, Dawn had learned that losing streaks weren’t as bad for her as they were for others. Typically, they brought her down for a bit, but she always bounced back stronger. She’d begun to realize that back in Sinnoh when she’d manage to win the Wallace Cup—over May of all people!—and it had come back a few times since when she seemed to be losing Contest after Contest.

But Johto had not been treating her well.

May had said it was fantastic there, and Dawn had been quick to believe her, since it was where May had built up a lot of her reputation as the Princess of Hoenn. But Dawn was feeling more than a little chewed up and spit out.

Not that she’d been totally failing. She’d lost the Wallace Cup this time around, but there’d been no need to worry, because the season in Johto hadn’t even technically started yet. So she’d come back from the defeat and charged headlong into the Contest season. So far she had four ribbons. Which wasn’t bad. But the Grand Festival was only weeks away, which was very bad.

To top it all off, the only friend that Dawn had in the whole region was Kenny, who’d also traveled down for the Wallace Cup as well, then deciding to stay for the season. May and all her friends had already done Johto and had circled over to Kanto, only staying in Johto for the duration of the Wallace cup. None of Dawn’s other rivals were there either, not even Ursula, for Mew’s sake!

Nevertheless, Dawn was enjoying the fact that she and Kenny had just so happened to end up at a lot of the same Contests. It was nice to have at least once old friend to decompress with every once in a while.

She was currently on the road to Azalea Town for her penultimate shot at that last ribbon when her new Pokégear began to vibrate. Dawn stopped in her tracks, causing Piplup, who had been trailing behind her and wasn’t able to hear the near-silent vibrations of the device, to run into her legs.

“Oh, sorry, Piplup!” Dawn hastily apologized before answering the call. “Hello?”

“Hi, Dawn! It’s me, Ash!”

A thrill looped around Dawn’s stomach as she searched for a place along the well-trod road to sit. There was a decent-sized rock only a few feet away, and Dawn plopped down on its smooth surface, resting her elbows on her knees. “Hi, Ash!”

Dawn was immediately overcome with the impulse to high-five Ash, but of course she knew there was no way to do that through a phone. Piplup scrambled up onto her shoulder and waved. “Piplup!”

“Oh, Piplup says hi, too!”

“Hey, there, Piplup!”

Dawn expected Pikachu to pop into frame just then, but it seemed like it was just Ash on the other side of the line. But judging from the shadows all around Ash, it was rather late in—Kalos, was it?—so perhaps Pikachu was already asleep. Dawn took that moment to take off her hat to keep her own face from being shadowed in the video camera. “What’s up?”

It had been a while since Dawn had heard from Ash. First of all, the boy just didn’t call a lot in general. He wasn’t even good at keeping in touch with his own mother. But, usually, he seemed better at keeping in contact with the friends who weren’t traveling—like Brock or Misty—as Dawn always was. Even though everyone had mobile devices now, Dawn supposed there was something strange about being called on the road. It was like taking a pit-stop while you were still surrounded by trees and nothingness.

Ash gave a little chuckle. “Heh, it’s a bit of a long story at this point,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his head.

Dawn twisted into a slightly more comfortable position, taking one hand and resting it behind her on the rock. “For you, Ash, I’ve got all day.”

Fortunately, she was ahead of schedule for arriving in Azalea Town, so—despite the time crunch she was on for the Grand Festival—her next Contest wasn’t going anywhere for the moment. Besides, it might take her mind off things.

Nevertheless, Ash recounted the last few calls in the only speed he had—full throttle—going through Goodra and Tracey and Charizard and Iris and Cilan, leading all the way to Ambipom and Dawn.

“Well, Ash, you don’t even need me for this!” Dawn exclaimed with a giggle as soon as Ash had finished blurting everything out. “You had Buizel. You know he was happier battling with you than performing with me!”

“I guess that’s true…”

“Oh, man, even better example!” Dawn exclaimed. “Infernape! You can’t even pretend to me that he would have been better off with Paul than with you. And—no, Ash, I can see on your face what you’re about to say—no, he wouldn’t have been better off in the wild either.”

Ash seemed to pout, maybe even blushing a little—though the lighting on his side was so terrible that everything just looked kind of gray-blue. “I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Yes, you were. But you brought out the strength in him that only a trainer can do. In fact,” Dawn began, her eyes alight with a new idea, “you should just call Paul. I’m sure that even he would admit it.”

Ash was in deep at that point. Even he knew that. He’d made so many calls his phone was hot in his hand. But at this point, what was one more call?

“Fine,” Ash surrendered. “You and Ambipom win your next Contest, okay?”

Dawn sighed. “I’m not so sure that’ll happen. I haven’t won anything in weeks.”

“Aw, that’s too bad,” Ash said. “But what’s that got to do with your next one?”

She sweatdropped. Surely he was joking? “I’m not doing well, Ash,” she explained as though she were speaking with a small child. “That means that I’m likely not to do well next time.”

“But you’ve won a lot in the past too,” Ash said simply. “You’ve won a lot and you’ve lost a lot. Me too. I have no idea how I’m going to do at the Laverre Gym. But I’m still gonna try my best!”

Dawn looked at Ash, dumbfounded. How could someone go from saying something so stupid to sounding so wise?

“Thanks, Ash,” Dawn said dumbly. Then she shook out of it and gave him a fiery look. “Now go call Paul.”

“Will do!” Ash grinned.

Paul was training in Unova. He’d done Kalos the year before—he was not amused by Diantha’s career choices. He was in the midst of comparing two Roggenrola when his phone rang. He let it ring once. Twice. Then he was irritated. He yanked it out of his pocket and spat, “What?”

“Hey, Paul! I—”

Click.

Ash sat dumbfounded for a second. He was certain Paul had picked up. Why would he hang up on him? He looked at the phone as though it was the one that had done him wrong. Paul was probably busy with something. Maybe he’d call back later. It had been too long since they’d last caught up! Maybe Ash could call Reggie to see what Paul was up to…

No, no, he was getting off track! Well, if Paul didn’t want to talk, there was one other person who was there with him in Sinnoh…

Let no one be fooled: Pokémon med school for was just as hard as human med school.

Scratch that—it was harder. Because all humans share near identical bodily functions. Brock had been busy learning about 800 different Pokémon and what would be unique about treating every one.

Frankly, it had been making his head spin.

Fortunately, he had come into school with a lot of practical experience—one of the reasons he’d been accepted into the best med school in Kanto—from his travels with Ash, his internship with the Pewter City Nurse Joy, and he time on Valencia Island with…you know who.

Nevertheless, he was loving it. He felt confident that the Gym was in good hands now that Forrest was the official Gym Leader. And now that both his parents were back home, he knew that he didn’t have to worry about the kids either. But still, it was nice to know that he was only in the next town over and could visit home any weekend he wanted to. He hadn’t made much use of the fact, but it was comforting nevertheless.

But at just this moment, Brock wasn’t thinking about school or family or being a doctor; he was thinking about the plausibility of taking a brief nap. He’d just come from his lecture class on Fairy Types—the Type class that he was doing the worst in. He’d tested out of the Ground and Rock Type classes because he knew a lot about them, but Brock knew hardly anything about Fairies. Understandably, the class exhausted him.

His next class was a practicum class that—so far—was mostly reiterating the work that he had done with Joy. And, more importantly, it wasn’t for a few hours. So he could probably squeeze in a nap…

Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call!

Well, not with that going on.

Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call!

He really needed to change that ring tone.

Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call!

Most people just kept their phones on vibrate.

Ring ring ring! Ring ring—

Better answer it. It could be the fam.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Brock!”

“Ash!”

Suddenly feeling a bit more awake, Brock opened up his laptop to switch the call over to a larger screen. “Hey, man! How’s it going?”

“Well, Paul hung up on me, so I thought I’d call you.”

Brock blinked. “Um, okay.”

Ash seemed to maybe, possibly realize that his answer hadn’t been much of an explanation. His face took on a strangely serious shape and he tried again. “I’ve been trying to figure out if releasing my Goodra was the right decision.”

“And you thought Paul was the best person to ask about that?” Brock deadpanned.

Ash rubbed the back of his neck. “I was telling Dawn: it’s kinda a long story at this point.”

Dawn too? Was Ash trying to meet his quota for calling his friends this year all in one day?

Brock glanced down at the time on his laptop screen. His next class wasn’t for a couple of hours. He’d still be able to fit in a healthy nap, even if he did settle down for a chat with Ash.

“Okay, I’m confused,” Brock said, when Ash had finished recounting what, at this point, was definitely a mess of a story. “Why do you think that Lapras is the last time that something like this has happened?”

Ash eyed Brock with a narrow gaze, almost condescendingly, if Ash were capable of such an emotion. Brock would have been offended, if he had any shame left. “Because Lapras is the last Pokémon that I released?”

“Yes,” Brock agreed, nodding his head. “But you leave all of your Pokémon at Oak’s lab every time you start a new journey. You don’t just have a handful of outlier Pokémon that you’ve released; you’ve left almost every Pokémon you’ve caught at Oak’s lab. Most have probably spent more time there than with you.”

When Brock saw the way Ash’s face fell, he realized that maybe his clinical assessment didn’t make his friend feel better. Oof, maybe he’d been spending too much time in the classroom and not enough with his friends and family. Like, talking to people. He really needed to go home. Or visit Misty. Or something.

“I’m sorry, Ash,” Brock said. “I didn’t mean it like that. Starting fresh has given you the opportunity to bond with new Pokémon.”

“I hope that I would have done that anyway,” Ash mumbled.

“And it’s given Professor Oak the opportunity to easily study Pokémon from all over the world,” Brock continued. “That’s been invaluable.”

“I didn’t really set out to do that, though.”

“That’s kind of my point!” Okay, it hadn’t been, but Brock was improvising here. “You never plan out what you’re doing, but you always end up doing the right thing and helping people. Releasing your Goodra is just like that. Letting Professor Oak care for your Pokémon while you’re not using them does that.”

“I just…” Ash began. “Doesn’t it sound like I’m abandoning them?”

“No,” Brock said firmly. “Abandoning them is like that what Damien kid did to your Charizard. You give your Pokémon a choice. When you tried to leave Pikachu, he came back because that was what he really wanted, and you welcomed him with open arms.”

“I guess that’s true.”

Brock looked at Ash. It was hard to read his expression, as it seemed to be growing quite dark in Kalos, but he was looking down, which usually wasn’t a good sign for Ash.

“Am I making you feel any better?”

Ash’s head shot up. “Oh, yeah! Totally.”

Definitely not. That was Ash’s fake happy voice. He sold it well, but Brock had never known anyone to fall for it before. The kid was just too dang easy to read. Brock sighed. He was really out of practice with the older brother act.

“Okay, look, why don’t you continue your apparent night of calling everyone you know and call May?” Brock suggested. “She was there when you first left your Pokémon behind. I’m sure she can objectively tell you that you’ve always done the right thing when it comes to your Pokémon.”

“Um, okay?”

“She’ll probably be better at boosting your spirits than I am.”

Brock hung up the phone, feeling strange about what had certainly been his weirdest conversation with Ash to date. He wished that he could have helped more, but he had an idea of who could really knock some sense into Ash Ketchum.

And May was the perfect person to stall him out until Brock talked to her.

“Yeah, I would do that too,” May said into her phone.

Drew was leaning against a tree, brushing through his hair with his fingers. He didn’t think that May even realized that she had stopped walking some time ago. So, Drew was left bored, watching as May gesticulated, talking on the phone with Dawn.

He thought about doing something passive aggressive, like getting a Pokémon out and beginning to train (loudly) right there in the middle of the road. Or maybe just continuing to walk. But, knowing May, she probably wouldn’t notice.

They weren’t officially traveling together anyway, so if he did walk far enough ahead to lose her, she’d probably just think they were going their separate ways again.

So, there he was, waiting on her. As per usual.

“Wait, Dawn, I’m getting another call…Oh, wait, it’s from him! I’ll have to call you back.”

It took everything Drew had in him not to groan.

He knew he should have traveled with Solidad.

“Hey, Ash!” May chirped.

This one was a video call, leaving Drew privy to both sides of the conversation as May held out the phone in front of her.

Lucky him.

“Hey, May,” Ash said, his tone coming out duller than Drew was used to hearing it.

“Dawn told me that you feel kind of crummy about letting go of one of your Pokémon.”

“Oh, she did?” Ash asked, surprise coloring his voice.

“Yeah. Not that we were talking behind your back or anything!” May frantically added.

Drew scoffed. “Technically, you were.”

If May heard him, she ignored him. But Drew would have bet his aqua pants that she didn’t even remember that he was there.

“Yeah, well, I just got off the phone with Brock, and he said that I should call you and, uh, ask you what you thought about my leaving all of my Pokémon from Kanto, Johto, and the Orange Islands behind with Professor Oak.”

“What I think?” May echoed. “I think it was fine. I mean, did you love them any less?”

“Of course not!”

“And they know that,” May stated. “I mean, look at me. I haven’t used my Munchlax in a Contest in ages because it just doesn’t make much sense there. It doesn’t mean that I favor my other Pokémon to it. And it doesn’t make me a bad Coordinator. Right?”

Drew blinked. That was surprisingly astute for May.

“Right,” Ash echoed.

“So then the real problem is just that you’re sad about one of your friends leaving and you need comfort, so you know what you’re gonna do?”

Ash looked taken aback. “What?”

“You’re gonna call your mom.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you are.”

“O-Okay,” Ash said. “I’ll do that right now…Bye, May.”

May lost her authoritative expression and gave Ash a glorious smile and a wave to boot. “Bye, Ash!”

May clicked the phone off and slipped it into her fanny pack, completely unaware of Drew’s dumbfounded expression.

“May…” Drew began. “That was…wow. I can’t believe you thought of that all yourself.”

“I didn’t.”

Drew narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“All of that is just what Dawn and were talking about on the phone. We both said that if we were upset like that, we’d call our moms.” And then she turned to him, catching him completely off guard with a stricken expression. “Drew, am I a bad Coordinator for not using Munchlax?”

Drew sighed. There was the May he knew.

“Not if you let us get to the next town before nightfall.”

Delia was getting started with lunch. Since her household was only made up of herself and Mimey—who didn’t usually eat human food—this shouldn’t have been a big to do, but for the past couple of years, Delia had been making lunch for herself and the Oaks. It had started with her bringing over little things like pies and casseroles—she knew how busy the Professor was and Tracey had better things to do as an assistant than make a meatloaf.

This custom had slowly evolved into her staying at the lab so they all could eat whatever she had made, which had evolved into her inviting them over to her house for dinner—why bother transporting the food when you could just transport the people?—which had somehow become lunch for four at the Ketchum residence every afternoon. This being because she knew those boys, what with all the time they had to spend feeding the Pokémon in the lab, had no time to feed themselves. She hardly liked the idea of them living off of protein bars and coffee for lunch.

So it was quite a hitch in her routine when the phone rang as she was dropping some potatoes into hot water to cook.

“Ketchum residence.” Delia said as she grabbed the corded phone off the hook and continued with the potatoes.

“Hey, mom!”

“Ash!” Delia, making a quick decision, left her potatoes—they’d be fine on their own for a few minutes—and ran to the video phone in the living room. “Darling, how are you?”

“I…I’m sad,” he admitted.

“Oh,” Delia said, taken aback. Ash didn’t usually come to her with anything but good news, so this was a switch. More than that, she knew her little boy to be a very happy kid. So once her feet were back under her, her mom alarms were blaring in her ear. “What’s wrong?”

Ash had never been one to hold back information, so before he knew it, he was spilling the whole stupid story to her. He was sad about something that he’d done half a dozen times before with nary a qualm. He’d been telling all his friends the same dumb story for the past, what? Half hour? Hour? He didn’t know, but long enough for it to get pretty dark out.

“Aw, Ash, I wish I could give you a hug,” Delia said, her forehead scrunching with worry. Ash suddenly saw how much deeper those lines had gotten since the beginning of his journey, and he wanted to give her a hug too.

Saying: “Thanks, mom,” was the best he could do, however.

“I have to say, though, Ash…has it made you feel better to talk to all of your friends?”

“Huh?” Ash blinked. “Well, yeah. May gave good advice, and so did Cilan and—”

“No, Ash,” Delia interrupted gently. “Hasn’t it felt good just to talk to your friends? Regardless of what they say. Isn’t it nice to check in with them? See what’s happening in their lives?”

“Sure,” Ash said. “Of course!”

“Because,” Delia explained, “it seems that that’s your whole problem.”

“What do you mean, mom?”

“Your Pokémon are you friends. And you’re sad to leave them. And you continue to have to do it. Perhaps you’d feel better if you kept in better contact with your friends, both Pokémon and human. And your mother.” Delia added that last sentence with just a hint of a scolding tone.

“Maybe you’re right,” Ash said, a new smile growing on his face.

“Of course I’m right. I’m your mother.”

They both laughed and Ash felt a better than he’d felt all night. Not a lot, but just enough.

“So, you’re going to continue what you’re doing,” Delia commanded. “Why don’t you give Gary a call? He’s your oldest friend, and I didn’t notice him on your list of people that you’ve talked to this evening.”

“Nope, not yet!” Ash affirmed.

“Then call him. And make sure to tell him that if the mashed potatoes are gluey this afternoon, it’s because you were chatting my ear off.”

“Gramps! We really have to scrape up the cash to hire a secretary!”

Gary had just come inside from finishing Tracey’s job of feeding the Pokémon. And he had to say, he was much more time effective than the Pokémon Watcher was.

And now he was off to do another thing that wasn’t his job. Answering the phone.

Again.

“What?” Gary asked sharply, his tone clearly telling whomever was on the other end that he was sweaty from being outside feeding dozens of Pokémon.

“Er, hey, Gary…”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Gary turned on the video feed and gave Ash a look that he hoped put forth the fact that he was one hundred percent done. “You again?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s me.”

Ash answered like it was a real question, and Gary couldn’t help but feel his sharp edges dull a little.

“What do you need, Ashy-boy?”

“I just wanna talk. Oh, and tell you that if the potatoes are gluey it’s because I was talking to my mom.”

Gary shook his head, deciding not to touch that one and instead focus on Ash’s first statement. “Really? It seemed like you actually had something that you wanted to talk about when you were looking for Tracey.”

“I did,” Ash said simply. “But now I just want to talk to you. If you’re not busy!”

Of course he was busy. He lived at his place of work. Even when he was sleeping it felt like he was on the job. Every moment spent relaxing was a moment that he was supposed to be working.

But…he could make time for Ash.

“I have all the time in the world, Ashy-boy,” Gary said kindly. And then his expression took on its normal edge and he somehow managed to look down at Ash through the screen. “Time for you to explain why you were on the phone with Tracey, then your mom, then me when you haven’t talked to any of us in months.”

Ash—or what little Gary could see of him in the dark—looked taken aback. Gary figured as much.

Ash had never much been able to keep up with Gary.

Gary became more incredulous as the story fell out of Ash’s mouth. He’d hardly known Ash as a person to lack confidence or ever second guess his decisions. No wonder the kid’s behavior of the last hour had been so erratic.

Still, when the story came to a close, Gary had only one thing to say:

“Ash, you’re an idiot.”

Ash, for his part, looked a little offended, leaving Gary glad that he still had the ability to rile up his old rival. Ash had become so mellow in recent years he hardly resembled the hotheaded kid that Gary had set out with at the beginnings of their journeys. Sure, Gary had changed too, but he could appreciate the joy in going through a good-old regression every once in a while.

Gary could practically see Ash’s brain stagger as he asked, “Wah…Why?”

Such a simple boy.

“Just call Misty. She’s the only one of us who’s ever been able to knock any sense into you. I mean, you called Paul before Misty?”

Gary couldn’t help but laugh at that one. Sure, he’d never had the pleasure of meeting Paul himself, and Ash couldn’t bring himself to say too much negative about the Trainer, but still. He seemed like someone you’d cross the street to avoid.

“Well, my mom said that I should call my friends, so I guess—”

“I don’t care. Call her.”

Misty had been surprised to see Brock show up unannounced at her door. Ever since he’d begun university in Cerulean she’d told him that he could drop by any time he wanted, but…well, he hadn’t done it yet, so she figured he hadn’t taken the invitation literally.

Well, apparently he had.

Not that had she minded. Sure, she’d been wet from a swim and her skin had been peeling—the chlorine dried it out—but he’d seen her far worse. She could hardly bring herself to care at all.

At the present moment, they were seated on the couch with some tea, Brock spinning threads about his apparent social incompetence—and maybe that’s why he couldn’t get a date? But he said to put a pin in that until later—and Ash being sad about releasing a Pokémon.

Well, Misty had been there for every instance of Ash giving up a Pokémon. Butterfree (both times, if the St. Anne counted), Pidgeot, Lapras. And then, of course, Primeape, Squirtle, and Charizard. Charizard had been by far the saddest, if she remembered right, and it had taken Ash a while to bounce back from that one. And then there was the instant buyer’s remorse that he’d gone through with Butterfree and that Raticate (which had almost led to their demise…she should probably remind him of that fact. He’d grown far too comfortable since she’d gotten her bike back and she needed something to nag him about).

But if she compared both of Butterfree’s goodbyes, then it was clear that the difference was in whether Ash thought what he was doing was right for Butterfree. It had nothing to do with selfishness and it was…just pure Ash.

Somehow, it wasn’t altogether a surprise to Misty or Brock when Ash called. Brock even had the good sense to leave the room. Misty only hoped that it wasn’t with the intent to snoop through her sisters’ stuff. He’d been creepily disappointed enough when she’d told him they were out of town.

“Hi, Ash,” Misty said, unable to keep a full smile off her face, even though she knew she was supposed to have sympathy for the tough time Ash was going through.

“Hey, Mist.”

“Brock told me about your day.”

Ash chuckled, which Misty took as a good sign. “Yeah, apparently it’s been traveling through the group.”

“So, what chain of events brought you to call me?”

“Well, mom said I should keep in better touch with my friends and Gary wants you to knock some sense into me,” Ash recited perfectly, as though the second part of that wasn’t completely insulting.

Misty smiled. He was just too adorable. “Well, you’ve come to the right place.”

Ash laughed, more fully this time. “I figured.”

“You wanna know what this sounds like to me?” Ash nodded. “It sounds like you’re growing up.”

“Growing up?”

“Yeah. You’re feeling connections deeper, you’re becoming more emotionally complex, and you know better the consequences of your actions.”

“Heh, that doesn’t sound like me.”

A laugh escaped out of Misty. Ash was nothing if not honest.

“I just mean that you’re not the hopeful kid sending worms out against birds anymore. Now you know that if you leave a Pokémon behind, you may never see them again. That’s scary. And your body is, you know, processing that.”

Ash shrugged. “Well, yeah,” he said soberly. “I know all that because…well, it’s happened now.”

Misty smiled, shaking her head. “That’s called life experience, Ash. That’s growing up.”

“I’m not sure I like it then.” Ash pouted, jutting his lip out at Misty like it was her fault.

“Well, then I think now’s the time when I knock some sense into you,” Misty said, cracking her knuckles. “You’re a good person for releasing Goodra, Ash. Of course, I don’t know the circumstances, but you’re you, so of course it was the right thing to do. And the advice that our dear friend Brock should have given you is that if you feel bad about leaving so many of your Pokémon with Professor Oak, then you can always trade them in for a bit. It’s not like it’s a mistake that you can’t rectify. Just like you’re checking in with me right now, you can check in with them any time.”

“You’re right,” Ash admitted sheepishly. “Of course you’re right.”

“Like I said. You came to the right place.”

There was a small pause as the two looked at each other, Ash’s expression morphing into a grin somewhere along the way.

“You really think that I’m growing up?”

Misty felt just a hint of a blush kiss the tips of her ears, but she chose to ignore it. “Well, if any of us thought that you were ever capable of growing up, then yeah. We’ve just decided at this point that it’ll never happen.”

“No,” Ash said, his voice full of jest, “I heard you say it. You said that I’m emotionally complex and I understand the consequences of my actions.”

“Yeah, like now,” Misty said. “If you don’t stop pulling at that thread, then I’ll figure out a way to punch you in Kalos without ever having to leave my Gym.”

“Why are you so mad?” Ash asked through a laugh. “We’re just talking about my emotions!”

“And we’ll have one more to talk about when you receive that punch. Pain.”

“…You know, I bet my friend Clemont could come up with a machine for that.”

“Great, I’ll call him.”

Again, silence settled over the phone line, the two of them waiting to see who would break out of their violent scenario first.

It was Ash, of course.

“Thanks, Mist. For the talk.”

Misty breathed out, the violent energy seeping out of her and rendering her posture hunched, but comfortable. “Of course. Any time, Ash.”

“Maybe…Maybe more often than I’ve been doing?”

Misty felt a bit of joy bubble up in her stomach, but she suppressed it, let it bring a blush to her cheeks. “That would be great.”

“Cool,” Ash breathed, looking relieved, as if he’d thought she’d say no. “In that case, I’m gonna go, so that we have more to talk about later.”

Misty shook her head. Leave it to Ash to come up with the ironclad logic.

“Sure. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, Mist!”

“Bye, Ash.”

The phone clicked off and Misty pressed her fingertips to the still-warm screen. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a rasped, “Bye, Mist,” behind her.

“Brock!”

“ ‘We’re just talking about my emotions.’ ”

“Brock,” Misty said again, this time devoid of fear. Instead, her voice was low and dangerous. “If you heard all that, then you also heard the part about me punching him. I’d like to remind you that that was a very real threat, and he’s in Kalos.

“You’re in my living room.”

The threat was just enough to draw a very feminine squeak out of Brock as Misty proceeded to chase him around the house.

Brock ended up taking a swim that day.

#pokemon #oneshot #fanfiction #pokeani #anipoke #pokeshipping #aaml

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