#youre telling me i could do that all the time forever and once in a while i lose my guts or whatever?? i can SO do that
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TAKE ME BACK
contents ★ ex!geto x fem!reader, angst to fluff, exes then back to lovers, slightly ooc geto (?), 1.2k+ wc. requested for my milestone event. author's message ★ trying a new layout for this one :3 i honestly love this color combo plus these are my favorite colors ever <333
event m.list ★ jjk m.list
seeing your ex boyfriend suguru for the first time after the breakup left you with mixed feelings of both familiarity and unfamiliarity. in terms of appearance, he hadn’t really changed. he looked pretty much the same way as you left him except his jet black hair had gotten longer. however, something about his aura had changed. you weren’t exactly sure what it was, you just had a feeling that it wasn’t the same as before, it was a tad bit softer, more gentle, and it made you feel as if you were being in the presence of a completely different person.
tension began to rise as awkward silence filled the atmosphere around you. it was excruciating and you had a hard time breathing, your heart clenched painfully. you were anxious and nervous.
yet despite all that, deep down inside your heart was a part of you that wanted to see suguru again, which grew bigger when it actually happened, you were quite happy to see him again after all that time.
if you were being completely honest, you had never been able to move on from him. so in other words, you still had feelings for him. and if he ever asked you to get back together, you would do it in a heartbeat without a single hint of hesitation.
you knew he wouldn’t though, and these were only wishful thoughts on your part. because you were pretty sure things between you and him had ended once and for good that day. showing no signs of a reconciliation.
“you haven’t changed at all.” your eyes widened slightly, it was as if he was reading your mind. was it some sort of telepathy or something? you didn’t know. his voice pierced through your ears, and it got you thinking that his tone hadn’t changed in the slightest. his voice was still as soft as it could be.
“you too, sug—geto.” you almost called him by the nickname you gave him back when he was your boyfriend, but quickly realized and changed to his last name. however, it didn’t feel right to you. it felt so forced, simply because his nickname used to roll off your lips ever so effortlessly, your tongue was so used to the sound of ‘sugu’ as it rolled out naturally. so when you forced it to say his last name instead, it came off weird.
suguru chuckled, a somewhat sad smile made its way onto his face upon hearing his last name rolling over your lips. the sound of it felt foreign to his ears as it reminded him that you two weren’t in the kind of relationship that allowed you to be on a nickname basis anymore. it hurt him, and it hurt him deep.
because truth be told, he too, still loved you. he tried his hardest to move on with his life, he went out with many girls, and he even went as far as to sleep with them in desperate attempts to forget all about you as if he’d never met you. but to his misfortune, his attempts never worked out. you were simply unforgettable to him, he could never erase you from his heart even if he wanted to.
he had left his heart with you on the day you called it quits, and couldn’t manage to get it back to give it to someone else.
you felt as if time was frozen, and you were stuck in yet another prolonged moment of silence. with just you and suguru together, no one else.
your mind was constantly telling you to run away, to not look back and leave him behind. that you were better off without him. but your emotions took control over your actions as your heart refused to let your body move, and you remained still in your spot.
“i can’t believe i let you go,” suguru spoke for the first time in what seemed like forever, breaking that thick layer of silence. “i was such a fool, wasn’t i?”
his regretful tone caught you by surprise, you couldn’t believe that it was possible for suguru to regret a decision he made. yet there he was, spilling out his regrets in front of you.
you slowly parted your lips open, thinking of what to say back to him.
“isn’t it a little too late for that?”
that wasn’t what you wanted to say, you wanted to say that you missed him, that you still loved him, that you wanted to get back together with him.
but your mind was too quick to react. you wished you could take back what you said, but it was too late for that.
“maybe… but if i’m being honest with myself, i still love you. actually, i don’t think i’ve ever stopped loving you once.” you watched suguru admit that he still had feelings for you in utter disbelief. it was the last thing you expected to hear from him. how he looked at you while he was talking and how earnest he sounded were enough proof that he was being sincere and genuine, he meant every single word he said.
suguru on the other hand, felt some sort of relief washing over him after finally letting his suppressed feelings for you out of his chest. he didn’t know if he would ever get another chance to see you again, so he was more than determined to win you back. it wasn’t guaranteed that you would allow him in your life once again, but he was still willing to give it his all.
“so please just,” he paused momentarily, taking a deep breath before proceeding. “take me back to you.” it sounded as if he was pleading, perhaps he was indeed pleading. he was just desperate at that point as this was his last resort. but he didn’t care if he seemed desperate, he was able to put his pride aside and show you his weak side. to suguru, if showing his vulnerability to you was the price he had to pay for him to get you back, then so be it.
“you idiot, of course i’d take you back. i wouldn’t want to be with anyone who wasn’t you, i will always love you.”
that sole sentence was enough to bring you to tears because of how moving it was. you immediately run towards him and throw yourself in his arms as you wrapped your arms tightly around him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, holding onto him for dear life. his body slightly flinched under your touch, but quickly reacted as his strong arms pulled you closer to him. your bodies were so close that you could feel the warmth of one another.
“welcome back, sugu.” you said in between your sobbing, finally allowing his name roll off your lips ever so easily. he smiled upon hearing his nickname being said as he gave the top of your head a series of small, tender pecks.
“yeah, i’m back home.” he hummed softly against your ear.
suguru had been lost for so long, but at last he was finally back to where he belonged, to you, his home.
𝜗𝜚 taglist: @unriding @lxnarphase @sylusdoll @itachiiwrites @itoshivy @17020 @creamflix @luv-lies @suguru-getos ( @gothsuguru + @hiraethwrote special tags for you my loves since you asked me about it )
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#suguru geto#geto suguru#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#geto x reader#suguru x reader#jjk angst#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fic#jjk imagines#jjk fanfic#getou suguru x reader
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After Logan was given a piece of the girls clothing, he gave a funny look to the officer.
"... did she own rabbits?"
"Awww bunnys!!" Wade coes, interrupting the conversation. He couldn't smell the scent, but he could tell just from the shirt alone that there was animal hair on it. White, slightly dark tipped.
The officer gave a scrunched up look. "About that... she IS a rabbit.."
"What?" Logan growls, about to rip this man a new one when a woman came to him with big watery eyes. "She's not a rabbit! She's a shifter! S-she just got her powers a couple of weeks ago a-and now my baby girl is lost in these woods!"
"So is she a rabbit or not? Because she sure as fuck smells like one."
"Dang Logan, She lost her daughter, it's not her fault." Wade whispers to him, knowing how frustrated he must be but he didn't want him snapping at the poor woman, whos shirt was already soaked (and starting to freeze) from tears, her hair was a mess, the bags under her eyes suggested that she hasn't rested since she's found out her child was missing, and her skirt was hand stitched, patched in some spots.
"Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down." The officer said.
"Don't tell him to calm down! There's a child missing, and so far, you've done jack shit!!" Wade pipes up, stepping forward and pointing a finger at his nose, actually touching it, only for his hand to be slapped away.
"We've tried tracking her down but..." he starts as the mother sobs into her apron.
"Buuuuttt??" The bald man in 2 different hats questioned, not ready to freeze his ass off for this, but he would want someone to do this if his daughter was missing.
Oh.. those were the days. Logan and him arguing over parenting choices, having dinner together, sleeping soundly at night knowing their family was happy and healthy. But now they were empty nesters.
Heh. That must have been the best 20 years of Wade's life. The only good thing about this is that his daughter having his genetics, so she could stay 16 forever if she really wanted too. Each time she died she regenerated back into that mouthy little girl, though it was odd to watch a 25 year old woman turn into a 16 year old again, especially when remembering that she's 21+ by now.
'No way, young lady, you can't drink your underage!!'
'Dad, i'm 25...'
Man... they grew up so fast.. And they were so proud of all of them. Even the adopted ones along the way like that little rascal Leo who apprently was doing quite well for himself now that he was all grown up. Poor guy ended up having a hairy back and a mane so large that it almost mirrored Sabertooths... so much for being a 'late bloomer'
The sweet thoughts go away when the man gestures to three dead rabbits next to them on the side of the road. "The dogs keep going after our suspects.."
"Woah, Hold on a second. You're having a problem with your highly trained shepherd dog's prey drive so you got THE WOLVERINE?? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard and I once googled if I could put a fork in my toaster because half my toaster strudel fell out instead of just unplugging it!" He shouts, arms going up. "Who's in charge of this operation!?"
"You didn't find that out before agreeing to come!?" Logan growls at him only for Wade to roll his eyes. "Oh, calm your knot, Jacob. I didn't know our helpless little girl was actually a single rabbit lost in a forest wonderland!"
Logans brows furrow with that 'Who the fuck is Jacob?' Look, his face showing more confusion then anger now.
"Alright. So here's what we're gonna do." Wade starts.
"Yeah, No. You already ruined your chances at this, it's my turn. You litsen to me, now!" He says, making Wade's hands go up. "Ooh~ Yes sir."
"Shut up!"
"Ok-"
"I'm taking this. I need a coms, give me a couple of hours and a med kit. The kid might be injured, so I might have to fix'em up before carrying them back here. They'll be weak, so maybe some food too. What does she like? Actually, never mind, get me the file." Grabbing the clothing, he decided it would be better to
"OOh fuck- I'm so wet right now." Wade mutters under his breath, getting a 'what the fuck' glance from the officer.
____
By the time Logan collected all that he needed to leave, Wade (of course) was strapped.
"I told you not to bring those. If anything, the gun powder will scare her, and she'll run off." Logan muttered.
"You never know when you'll need to shoot something, Loagie. Besides, I have flares too. And the snacks." He says, opening the bag as they walked, rummaging through it. "Why is there so much deer jerky in here?"
"I like deer jerky." He grumbles, slightly annoyed as the air was pricking his nose.
"I know that but is that the only thing they packed?? Aren't rabbits herbivores?" He says, still looking with a frown. Maybe he should have taken Ro up on that soup...
Not to mention, while he had one idiot in his ear, he had another in the other one.
'Logan, you should be coming up to where-'
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I can smell it." Glancing over, he saw that the puddle of blood from the other rabbit half way already covered with a new layer of pure white.
Squinting, he breathed slowly and smelled deep.
"There's a storm coming.." he says over the mic.
'We know, that's why this is so important.'
"Wait a second, you sent kurt out here KNOWING there was a storm rolling in!? And then you dragged me out here knowing damn well I've never stepped foot in these woods!?"
'He volunteered, and we called you first. You just refused to pick up. And yes you have, you have a cabin somewhere out here.'
"No I don't!"
'Other Logan did.' Scott mutters.
"How many times to I have to fucking tell you that I don't have his memories!? You sent me into unknow-"
His nose twitches, stopping as he got a whiff.
"Oh, he's got something. Whatcha smell boy? Show me!" Wade coes, giggling a bit as he pats his knees, causing Logan to growl, blushing, embarrassed at the puppy talk.
Walking off, he changes direction, leaving the premade path of boot tracks and paw prints.
'What are you doing? Stay on the path!... Logan? Logan! Now is not the time to go all lone wolf! Loga-'
The Wolverine gives a snarl of annoyance, trying to both pinpoint and smell with the nagging in his ear. Taking the head set off and turned, dropping it in Wade's hands, who made a 'Oooh!' Sound, putting it on instead with a big smirk.
"Hiya! You're on air with us at red and yellow radio station! What's your question caller?"
'What? Wade! Give it back to Logan! If he goes off track, we won't be able to-'
"Aht, i'm gonna have to cut you off, caller, This is our mission, our gig. Don't worry, I won't lose the big guy. Right now, he's looking at a tree. And now hes sniffing. Oh now he's glaring at me, and now hes-"
"Wade!! Hush!"
"Sorry caller, gotta go-"
'Wade? Deadpool? Wade!! Don't you dare go rouge! Wade!!!'
Thinking about old Worst Wolverine being called by each of the X men individually after they have a falling out because Logan injured a child very badly to the point the only reason they didn't die is because another classmates healing abilities all while he just... walked away.
Well- ran.. away... leaving a child to die. He's tried to explain thousands of times that he blacked out, that he didn't remember doing any of this. He tries to say that maybe it was someone else, that mystique did this shit all the time in his universe.
"Yeah, well!? This isn't your universe! Because the REAL Logan would never do this.." Scott screams at him as Logan leaves the Mansion for the last time. He doesn't come back. He didn't even get to tell his Xkits goodbye. It got to the point where Laura dropped out, taking Gabby with her, wanting nothing to do with the school anymore.
So now, here he is. In Maine, an old fisherman, part-time hunter, and the only people he lets around him have healing factors.
He lives with Wade, who still- by the way- doesn't have any grey hairs (maybe because hes bald but- yk)
One night, while Logan is out, making himself feel useful by feeding the small town they're in, providing for more poor families, feeding their children's hungry mouths and asking nothing in return but respect. (It gets to the point that the children cheer when they see Logan, wanting to hug him, but he growls at them to get off, too afraid of hurting them) Wade finally awnsers the ringing phone.
"What." There's vemon in his tone, but soon his eyes widden, and he frowns.
Walking outside he stands there a moment, knowing Logan can hear him.
He ignores him, looking at the fish, litsening, his breathing slowing as he skewers some with his claws. Its not exactly spear fishing but- close.
"What?" His voice is almost annoyed, as if knowing what his long time Husband was about to ask him.
"Logan.."
"No."
"Logan-"
He shakes his head. "Don't care."
"...She's missing."
He pauses, turning after scraping the dead fish into a bucket. "Who's missing?"
"There's a little girl missing."
"So?"
"Logan!"
"I'm not helping them, Wade. That's final." He growls.
For a moment, Wade frowns, but he didn't learn to obey thy husband like the bible said.
He never did.
"Logan, there's a 6 year old out there. All alone. Cold. Probably going to be eaten by wolves!" He shouts from the back porch, knowing his place enough to stay here and not come near his fish. Even after all these years, Logan was still finicky over his food. "And all because some old fart won't help her!"
The silence thickened as Logan thought about it, the hero side of his brain yelling 'We'll find her!' And the hurt old part of him saying 'That's not my buisness.'
".. You find her then." He compromises.
"I can't! And if anyone knows those Canadian woods, it's you! You said you knew those forests like the back of your hand!" Wade protests. "If I could smell someone through miles of freezing snow, I would. But I can't. So here I am, asking The Wolverine to go do what he does best."
He grunts, glaring. "And that is?"
"Helping a little girl get back to her mommy..." Wade says, knowing that he was sold. He knew he was sold the moment he told him to do it himself. "She doesn't have much time, Logan." He sighs, putting a cherry on top.
The greyed man huffed, grumbling under his breath for a moment. "Who will stay here with the dog?"
"Gabby can! She loves gabs." Gott'em.
"What about Laura? Why can't she find her?"
Shit.
"Logan, Laura has barley been in those woods. You've lived in them for years. So. What will it be. Pull up your panties and go save a little girls life? Or do it anyway when our baby girl gets lost too?"
Logan scoffs, disappointed. "..She wouldn't get lost.."
"She would if the scent kept being blown away.."
Wade adds, seeing the 'god damn it, he's right.' look on the old mans brow.
He lets out a large sigh. "...I don't want any help."
"Oh well too fucking bad bucko, I'm gonna go pack my snow suit!"
"No! I mean... I don’t want any help from THEM.."
"No promises. I'm not letting poor Susie die just because you have a grudge. Now put your fish in the freezer and lets go! They're coming to pick us up-"
"I ain't flying!!" Logan snarls, watching as his lover ran off, having a deep feeling that he would be in the air shortly..
#search and rescue#find her au#scott summers#old man logan#old man wade#logan wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadclaws#ellie wilson#eleanor camacho
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Slytherin Boys Break-up Blurb: Part 2
Part 2 of the break-up series. This one is filled with groveling and begging for forgiveness. Enjoy little stars.
Mattheo: You walked through the common room, seeing your friends smiling.
“What’s gotten into you three?” You asked as you made your way to your dorm.
As soon as you opened it, the heavy scent of flowers hit your nose. They were everywhere. Your favorite flower filled the room. There were petals all over the floor. Candles that casted a yellow-ish glow. And right in the middle was none other than Mattheo Riddle.
“I am so, so sorry.” He finally said as you looked at him. You could hear his voice cracking as he spoke. It had been a rough last month without Matt but you weren’t sure you were ready to forgive him. Not yet anyways.
“Matt…” Your voice trailed off. You were unable to form words as you looked at the transformed room. This was something Matt always did to you, take your words away. In both good and bad ways. Perhaps this was a good way.
“I know. I know I messed up and I know I don’t deserve you, believe me. But please. Please let me at least try to make it up to you, Princess.” Matt pleaded, something you never thought you’d hear before.
You were staring into eyes when you finally noticed the little box he was holding. A red one with a white bow on it. He held it up and you walked closer to open it. Your hands shook a bit as you undid the bow and opened the box. Inside was the most beautiful bracelet with your birthstone set right in the middle.
“You know you can’t just buy me back.” You finally managed to say. Matt smirked, the smallest chuckle escaping his lips as he stared at you.
“And I’d never expect to. This is just the first of my many apologies to come. Because you, Princess, you deserve this. You deserve this and so much more.” Matt explained through that cracked tone once again. But this time it wasn’t just a crack. It was a full break. Tears sat on his waterline and you could feel your heart breaking.
You weren’t quite ready to forgive him but this was a good start. You placed one hand on his cheek as you kissed him softly, knowing that you’d give him that second chance. And you would be forever grateful that you did.
Theo: It had been weeks since your fight with Theo. Usually he apologized right away but this time you haven't heard from him. Maybe you two really were done.
You were walking through the castle when your phone went off. A text from Theo telling you to meet him in the forest. You almost didn’t but something told you to go.
As you walked through the dense area, you saw him leaning against your favorite tree. It was the large one right next to the babbling creek. He had the faintest smile on his face as you approached him.
“What is it Theo?” You asked sternly and you saw how sad his eyes looked. There were dark circles under them. He wasn’t sleeping. You could tell.
“I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t get that stupid fucking fight off my mind.” Theo admitted after a minute of staring at you. He pointed to the tree, seeing the initials the two of you had carved into it months ago.
“I come back to this tree every day and I stare at those letters. I can’t do this, cara mia. I can’t be away from you. And I’m so fucking sorry I ever thought I could.” He admitted before looking back at you with the most solemn look on his face.
You could feel your heartbreaking listening to him. He hurt you. He let you walk out. Fuck. Maybe this was a bad idea. You shook your head as you looked at him.
“It’s too late, Theo.” You whispered as you started to talk away. You took two steps before you felt a hand on your wrist, pulling you back in.
Your eyes shot up to his blue ones. They stared into your soul, begging for forgiveness.
“I let you go once. I won’t ever make that mistake again.” He said firmly. He was pleading through his eyes, hoping you would just give him a second chance. He didn’t deserve it. Fuck. He really fucking didn’t deserve it. But you missed him. You missed him more than you cared to admit.
“Please, tesoro. Please just…just sit here with me?”
And you did. You spent the rest of the evening sitting with Theo against that tree, yours and his initials carved just above your heads. Maybe he didn’t deserve this but you didn’t mind letting him talk, explain his side. Apologize. And god did he apologize. He did nothing but apologize over and over again. Maybe he’d get that second chance after all.
Lorenzo: You still couldn’t believe the way Enzo had acted. It was months later when you finally saw him for the first time. And he looked awful. He wasn’t eating. Wasn’t taking care of himself.
Good.
You didn’t even look his way as you walked past him. The closer you got, the faster your heart started to beat. The pain and anger started to bubble inside of you once more.
“Y/n, wait!” Enzo called out to you but you didn’t stop. You kept pushing forward as your shoes squished across the courtyard grass.
“Stop! Please, I just want to talk!” He shouted once more, now following behind you. You could feel everything boiling inside of you, not sure if you could hold it back anymore.
“Come on! Just stop!”
That was it. You couldn’t hold back anymore. You stopped but not because he asked. You stopped because if you didn’t, you were going to boil over and explode. You turned to face him, your hair spinning around you as you whipped around quickly.
“No! You don’t deserve a conversation. You don’t deserve my attention. After what you did, Enzo? Seriously? You deserve nothing but the scum on my shoe.” You shouted at him, much to his surprise.
There was a small moment, a moment where the two of you would stare at one another with a longing–a longing for something that has now been lost into the past.
After a few moments, you finally turned and walked away. Lorenzo watched you leave. He watched you until there was no you left. His heart was breaking, knowing he’d messed up–knowing he had lost you forever.
Over the next few months, you received the most lavish gifts, the most detailed letters. Every day, Enzo sent you something. Even if the two of you never spoke again, it made him happy knowing he was still in your life somehow. And you enjoyed it, even if you didn’t want to admit it, you enjoyed how much he was wanting to earn your trust back. And maybe, just maybe, he would.
Draco: It had been five weeks since your break-up with Draco. The pain was still raw but you were trying your best to push through. As you made your way to your next class, you realized you hadn’t seen him much and you wondered why.
You walked into the classroom, heading to your desk before noticing a book on it. It wasn’t a book you recognized. You picked it up, feeling the black leather in your hands and noticing the pages had gold edges to them. Beside the book was a small piece of paper that had your name on it, noting the book was for you.
You opened the book and recognized the handwriting immediately. Draco. A part of you thought maybe you wouldn’t read this, shouldn’t read this. It would only hurt.
That didn’t stop you. You started to read the words, slowly realizing what this was. The first page detailed Draco’s upbringing. His relationship with his father, his mother. All of it.
You moved on to the next one and with each new page realized he was opening up to you. Maybe he couldn’t say it, but he could write it.
You read it until you reached the end, noticing how only half the journal was full. There were still plenty of blank pages left but each one was numbered as if it was continuing.
“I see you’ve found my gift.” Draco called out behind you. You turned around quickly, seeing him standing there with his hands tucked into his pockets.
“Draco, what is this?” You asked, still slightly confused why he would give you something like this. He walked a bit closer, his eyes completely locked with yours with each movement.
“It’s me opening up in the best way I know you.” He stalked a bit more forward before stopping right in front of you, “You deserve that, Y/n. I was an idiot for not realizing that earlier and I’m sorry.”
An apology from Draco Malfoy? You never thought you’d see the day.
You glanced back down at the book, flipping it in your hand before opening up to the blank pages. Draco pointed to it, the silver ring with his family crest in the middle shimmering as his finger touched the empty page.
“And the blank pages? That’s for us to use together. For our new memories. We’ll write in it every day if that’s what it takes to earn you back.” He said softly before finally moving his finger from the page.
“Draco…” You said softly, closing the book. The effort was sweet, the gesture appreciated. But you were nervous. Was this all for show?
“I promise. I will be as open with you as I can, even if it’s through letters.” He said softly, taking his hand and wrapping it through your hair.
How could you resist this? You weren’t going to fully cave for him just yet but this was a step. It was a very welcomed first step to getting back to what you once were.
Blaise: You hadn’t heard from Blaise in a few weeks. In fact, you hadn’t seen him at all which was shocking. Blaise was everywhere all the time or so it seemed. Not seeing him on campus was something that should cause concern.
You were walking back to your dorm one day when you saw smiling faces and little giggles in the common room. What the hell was everyone so happy about? You opened your door and there in the room stood Blaise.
He was standing in pajamas and holding your favorite flowers. All of your favorite snacks covered the bed. Soft music played from the speaker. Your eyes went a bit wide as you tried to take everything in.
“Blaise? What the hell are you doing here?” You asked through a bit of shock. You were trying to process what was happening but it was almost too much. Almost.
“Apologizing. I’m so sorry for what I did. And I know, I know I might have lost you forever but, ma, even if I just have you as a friend that’s good enough for me.” Blaise spoke softly. You could feel your heart racing with every word.
There was something about this moment that made you think, perhaps, you would remember it forever. It wasn’t anything big or special but it was important. To you, it was important.
“Blaise…” You said softly, letting your voice drop off at the end of his name. His eyes searched yours and he seemed to wonder if you would take his gesture.
“We can spend all day in here. Watching movies. Talking. Eating every snack the house elves could manage to find for us.” He said as his voice ran off into the smallest chuckle.
Always joking, that was Blaise. Even in the most serious moments, he could make you laugh. It was something you always enjoyed about him. He took a small step forward, still holding the flowers in his hand.
“All I need is you. No parties. No outside world. Just you. So, what do you say, ma?” He asked quietly. You thought about it but there wasn’t much to think about. What he did was wrong, yes, but this? This was a great start to making up for it.
You walked towards him, taking the flowers and giving them a small sniff before setting them on the nearby desk. Your eyes went back to his, those dark eyes that only seemed to sparkle when you were around.
“A day in here with you sounds perfect.” You whispered before feeling him wrap his arms around you in a hug. You hugged him back and as you did, you felt as if your life problems all seemed to disappear.
You would spend the entire rest of the day with Blaise, talking and laughing about everything possible. It wasn’t a confirmation of a restart of your relationship but it was a push forward. And Blaise loved it. Even if it was just the tiniest bit of attention from you, he loved it because, at the end of the day, you truly were the only thing that mattered.
Regulus: It had been a year since you had heard from Regulus. There was a part of you that perhaps thought you would never hear from him again. There were rumors he died. Rumors he ran away. Rumors he joined the dark side, fighting for Voldemort. But you couldn’t believe any of it.
You knew Regulus. He would never do that. If he had joined the dark side, it was only to fight from the inside. The worst rumor was the one that he died. You couldn’t bear that thought. You would have to see him, see his dead body before you accepted that truth.
You were walking back from Hogsmeade one afternoon when you got caught in the rain. You were rushing, trying to make it back to the castle when suddenly you heard your name called out.
The voice was familiar, one that sent waves through your body. You turned around to see Regulus standing in the rain, drenched. His long and curly hair was plastered to his forehead as he stared at you.
“Reg?” You asked, almost not believing it was real.
“I’m sorry.” He replied through the rain. Your heart was racing, there was a building of tension between the two of you as you stared at him.
“I’m sorry I left you. But it’s over. It’s done.” He explained and your mind started to race with a million thoughts. He did it. He won. And he came back for you. Just for you.
You dropped your books, rushing up to him and jumping in his arms. His arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you close before he pressed his lips to yours in a heated and passionate kiss.
“Don’t you dare ever leave me again, Regulus Black.” You said as you broke the kiss but stayed in his arms. He looked down at you with the softest smile on his face.
“I won’t.”
And he wouldn’t. He’d never leave your side. For as long as the two of you lived, he’d be right there. For you were the only important thing in Regulus’ life.
#slytherin boys#slytherin#mattheo riddle#theodore nott#lorenzo berkshire#draco malfoy#blaise zabini#regulus black#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys x you#witchyvibes91 ✨
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28th november fic rec!
*welcome to the final show*
this is the last 28th appreciation of 2024 for me, as i'll be posting my 2024 fic recs in the last week of december so ill just include my december recs in there :)
so! here's my november fic recs:
Eternal Summer (65K) by j_klmnop
After the death of his estranged father, Harry makes the trip from London to Naples, Italy to say his goodbyes. He has seven days before the funeral and since he's on summer break from university, he decides to make a road trip out of it.
His carefully planned trip is thrown a loop when he meets a beautiful blue eyed hitchhiker named Louis, who is trying to escape his controlling family. With no destination in mind— just the desire to get as far away as possible, Louis decides to tag along for the ride to Italy, with plans to continue on once they arrive.
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now that we're alone (say you hate me) (18K) by 28goldensfics | @28goldens
Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are Co-Project Managers, constantly bickering at work, always finding themselves at odds, and competing to be the best. When a scheduling mishap with their company’s timeshare forces them to share a summer vacation, they're less than thrilled. But, as they navigate their time together, they realize that their animosity might be masking something a bit deeper than the hate.
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reminiscence (259K) by Fxckinf
“I’ll always look after you.” Louis whispers.
“Always?”
“Always and forever, Harold.”
Or
Louis and Harry were the friends that fell in love and then broke up. Harry tries to navigate having his ex in his friendship group, which only gets harder when it becomes apparent that there’s a secret.
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if we were butterflies (52K) by blueskiesrry | @blueskiesrry
“Is this how I used to look at you?” His hand hovers just over the collarbone of the sculpture, like he’s caught between wanting to touch and wanting to pull away, wanting to leave and wanting to stay.
Eyes stuck on Harry, unaware of anything else in the room, Louis whispers, “Something like that,” wondering now if he ever quite did it justice.
or: after recruiting harry to model for his sculptures and coming to know all his edges, louis loses him to a life more prosperous than he can provide. he finds harry again four years later.
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Seeing Blind (46K) by zedi
Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”
OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.
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Stars over Amsterdam (4K) by HelloLovers13 | @hellolovers13
Louis remembers how stressed they were, trying to get tickets at all. The waiting for the email with the code, which only Louis got, the actual On-sale. How Harry stood behind him, peeling at his nails nervously. Trying not to distract Louis.
But it had all gone smoothly and he had gotten the tickets within just a few minutes.
Harry had jumped around Louis’s chair in excitement like a bouncing ball. Already starting to plan their outfits.
A gold fringe dress for Harry, Fearless was his favourite album, after all, and a matching shirt he had found online for Louis. So people could tell right away they were an item.
That was their plan. Before it all went to shit.
or
Fate in form of Eras Tour tickets forces Louis to meet up with his Ex.
Hopefully soon to be Ex-Ex.
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[series] I See Us in Black & White (70K) by Ioudloudlove
Harry Styles is just your average 20-something. He followed his soul to a new town and now he works hard as a barman and lives alone in his little house. That is until he's swept off his feet... literally.
When Harry regains consciousness, his entire world has changed. Everything that was once black and white is now flooded with colour. And the first person he sees is his soulmate...Liam.
What Harry didn't count on was Liam's best mate...Louis. What is it about him that Harry just can't let go of? Why has his entire world been turned around? And is it really possible to walk away from your soulmate to chase a dream?
Original Prompt:
soulmate au where you see the world in black-and-white until you meet your soulmate. Harry Styles meets two people at once at the moment he first sees in colour, makes the wrong choice, and falls in love with the right one anyway
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Whole Lot of History (73K) by Blue_Green28 | @bluegreen28fics
Louis and Harry have a whole lot of history. With 3 children coming out of their twelve years long marriage they are essential parts of each other's lives even though they have moved on with new partners since their divorce ten years ago. Or have they?
What happens when Harry finally gets some money to open the coffee shop he had always dreamed of and they spend more time together to plan everything? Does their love still have a chance?
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Not having a breakdown! (I'm just here for the kid.) (28K) by louisismycat (tiflamomet) | @liminalkitty369
Harry has to park outside his ex-husband’s (Louis) wedding so that he can whisk their kid away if a meltdown ensues during the day. Guests will not know this and will only see him parked outside, it cannot be stressed enough, his ex-husband’s wedding.
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Hazelbridge (77K) by CoolCrying
Nestled in the heart of the Yorkshire Dales, the tiny town of Hazelbridge has been home to Louis and his family for generations. Heir to his grandfather's historic bookshop, Louis lives a quiet but happy life, providing a hub for the town's many queer people, and indulging his love for books. That is, until Harry Styles comes to town.
This is the story of a town and two bookshops. It's the story of a family, and two boys with very different stories, who fell in love.
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At Least Let Me Buy You Dinner First (35K) by Anonymouis
“I said, Harry. As in Styles. AKA you. You’re pretty and certainly a piece of art if you ask me.” Louis mewls.
“Oh,” Harry breathes. He takes a moment taking in Louis.
Louis watches his eyes work their way all over his face and body trying to read him. Luckily, he knows just how to read Harry. The moment their eyes meet again, Louis leans in a little at a time, as slowly as possible. His heart racing, giving Harry all the time to back out, but then, Harry is reaching around Louis’ wrist and sliding their hands together, lacing their fingers and leaning in as well.
Then…
The bell above the door rings.
They both pull back at light speed, sniffling and coughing from almost being caught. Harry trips over his own feet with the force that he used. Giggles fall from both of them while Louis steadies him.
“First day with legs there, bambi?”
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Come What May (58K) by j_klmnop
Louis didn't believe in love at first sight until he met his neighbour Harry, the gorgeous man in the apartment next door who saved lives and had a smile that made his knees weak.
Louis was determined that today was the day he would finally grow some balls and ask Harry on a date.
Until his plans were disrupted by an unexpected delivery. One that would surely ruin his chances at any kind of love life.
Or, maybe it would be just what Louis needed to bring he and Harry closer together.
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2 a.m. texts (30K) by everysingleday
Harry has just come out and, with his best friend Louis’ support, he might finally be brave enough to go on a date with the guy he’s been chatting with on a dating app. Meanwhile, there’s a cat that wants to murder Louis, a fast-approaching deadline for Harry to find a new place to live, and this minor situation wherein he and Louis can’t seem to stop making out. It’s not a big deal. Louis is just being supportive.
—
aka, a practice kissing fic.
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Roman Empire (11K) by Speechless
One day Louis answers Liam's phone while he is in the shower.
That's how he meets Harry, Liam's friend who moved to Italy just a while ago.
And that's how Liam loses ownership of his phone.
“Do they sleep on the other side of the bed in Italy?”
He hears Harry laugh for a moment.
“I sleep right in the middle,” Harry replies. “Because no one will marry me.”
Louis bites back a little smile.
“Have you asked enough people?”
“The old lady walking her dog, just now.” Harry confirms. “She said no.”
Written for the BLFF 2024
Based on prompt 205: A Larry fic that includes the “I love you,” “no, you don’t” convo.
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stat time!!
948,562 words read (2% less than last month)
25 fics read (4% less than last month)
25 authors (0% more than last month)
🍫 for you for making it this far
#28th appreciation#fic rec#larry fics#hljournal#tracking happily#monthly fic rec#tracksintheam#trackinghome#november fic rec#larry fic rec#hlficlibrary#larry fic#ao3 feed larry#1d fic library#larry stylinson
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Tech Tuesday: Jake Jensen
Summary: Jake knows he's the luckiest man in the world and it's all because of you.
A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.
Previous
Tech Tuesdays Masterlist
"Y' see, Jake, a lot o' people in this department ain't exactly friendly to others," Sy tells him. "In fact, it can be difficult for me an' Pine to assign anyone to tickets that require interacting with others."
Jake nods, a little nervously. "IT generally doesn't draw the most charismatic people."
"Which is a damn shame because, more and more, it requires some decent people skills," Sy agrees. "That's why Pine an' I were thinking of giving you a promotion." Jake's eyes go wide with shock. "The way things are right now, we assign tickets kinda randomly. We're interested in putting you in charge of the tickets. You'd be takin' on a lot more of the people focused work, the level 1 support, and the others'd be pickin' up more of your programming work. But since we all know workin' with people can be a pain, Pine's made sure to negotiate some more money into our budget for you. If you want the job."
"By 'in charge of tickets' do you mean I'd be taking them all on?"
"No, no, no," Sy assures. "Just that you'd be making them your priority. And you'd be assigning the level 2 and 3 support tickets around the department as you see fit."
"Won't that cut into your work?"
Syverson laughs at that. "Given how much o' my day is puttin' out fires caused by one of ours bein' rude to others in the building, yeah. But that just gives me more time for actually managing y'all, keepin' us up-to-date on projects, security measures and other stuff."
Jake thinks for a moment. "Does this mean I'll also be responsible for Lloyd's complaints about not getting Maestro assigned to his tickets?"
"He has eased up on that," Sy counters. "But yes."
"But this promotion gives me the authority to handle him, right?"
"That's correct."
Jake nods. "I'm in. Thanks so much for this!"
It had taken forever to get the twins to sleep for their afternoon naps. Leia couldn't stop fidgeting, at least until you gave her the Charmander stuffie to hold as you rocked them. But then Luke wanted his Bulbasaur and you ended up with overfull arms. Some days you're surprised your own biceps aren't as big as Jake's!
Jake's performance review was today and you wanted to make sure to cook up his favorite foods. You'd already sent some of his favorite snacks to work with him. You chuckle thinking about how quickly he can down a bottle of Mountain Dew. The bag of gummy worms to go with the meatball sub were, hopefully, a nice surprise for him. Generally all the sweets in the apartment were homemade but you know how much of a comfort gummy worms can be for him.
And after all Jake has done for you, for the twins, how could not comfort him? Be there for him? Jake never once talked down to you. Never made you feel like your hobbies or interests were a waste of time. He always made sure you felt loved and appreciated. You'd been together for so many years but you still giggle like a teenager whenever you think of him. And you know he does the same. Heck, you giggle as you think of him blushing pink and smiling as he thinks about you.
He's been working so hard to make sure you and the twins were provided for. The budget was sometimes tight but Jake made enough and your commissions were a good supplement. It just made sense for your little family to have a stay-at-home parent. Childcare costs for twins could be rough. But you got more creative with recipes, clothing, toys; your families were happy to help with a lot of the baby supplies; all of it resulting in all of you being able to live a nice, modest but incredibly happy life.
As the twins nap you get to work on the 5-cheese mac you know Jake loves. You're positive his performance review will go well, but it doesn't hurt to have a comfort food ready for him when he gets home.
Jake was practically bursting with excitement when he came home. As soon as he walked through the door the twins held out their hands, smiling, "Dada! Dada!" It always made his heart melt that they looked forward to his coming home. He picked them both up and spun, making them squeal with laughter. He takes a deep breath and knows what you're cooking up for dinner, making him smile even more. He's almost tearing up from how loved he feels.
"Dinner's just about ready," you call from the kitchen.
Jake looks to Luke and Leia, "you ready for dinner? Smells like Mama cooked up some really good food for us!" They both start chattering and laughing as Jake dances them over to their highchairs and gets them settled in. He joins you in the kitchen to help you carry things out and greets you with a big kiss.
"I take it the review went well?"
He starts visibly shaking with excitement, "so well! Let's get dinner started and I'll tell you!"
"Tease!" you smile at him as the two of you take things out to the table, making him laugh. Seeing him laugh causes the twins to renew their laughing and your heart warms all the more for it.
You and Jake alternate dishing out the food for yourselves and the twins. Even though it's certainly cooled down, Luke still holds out his spoon of mac and cheese for you to blow on it. Meanwhile Jake is helping to portion control Leia's ketchup for her chicken nuggets. Both of you are certain she'd drink the ketchup if left unattended so you've developed a system of adding a little dollop to each one as she's eating. Sometimes Jake thinks she views it as a game to play and he hopes she never grows out of it.
After the twins are sated a bit, you and Jake can finally dig in to your own plates. Jake gives all the appreciative moans he knows make you smile. It helps that your cooking is genuinely so damn delicious.
"Now will you finally tell me how the review went?"
"I'm getting a promotion!"
You squeal with happiness, causing a chain reaction with the twins. "A promotion! That's so wonderful! So well deserved!"
Jake blushes, "thank you, Sunshine. And it even comes with a pay raise! I think, after a few months, we can start looking at getting a bigger place!"
"Oh, Jakey! That's so wonderful! I really feel like we should celebrate!"
"I can think of a few ways to celebrate," Jake says, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Definitely," you confirm with a giggle as heat rushes to your face. "I'm also thinking we should do a gaming night."
Jake's eyes go wide, "yes, please! Oh that would be so amazing! Not as amazing as you, but still amazing. God I love you so much, Sunshine! You're the best thing to ever happen to me---"
"I feel the same about you, Jakey," you say softly.
Next
Tech Tuesdays Masterlist
Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;
@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63
#tech tuesday#tech tuesday: jake jensen#jake jensen x female!reader#jake jensen x female reader#jake jensen fluff#jake jensen x you
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𝙄𝙉 𝘽𝙀𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙄𝙁𝙐𝙇 𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙈𝙎.
𝗬𝗨𝗨𝗧𝗔 𝗢𝗞𝗞𝗢𝗧𝗦𝗨 𝗫 𝗔𝗙𝗔𝗕!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥. ⌇ 18+ only, mdni / incest / noncon somnophilia (char. receiving) / so like… kinda dom!reader if you wanna look at it like that, but it’s not really a hard dynamic in this / unprotected piv / some codependent vibes / reader has a vagina but there are no other physical or gendered descriptors / 3.2k words
notes: this was supposed to be for kinktober with the prompts incest + somnophilia, and i'm a whole month late but here we are!!! once again i have managed to have no chill and have overdone it a bit so it took me forever. but enjoy! thank you to everyone who originally voted in my kinktober polls <3 (moon dividers by cafekitsune)
He never sleeps as well as when he’s with you, and that has never been less than fact.
The dark circles under his eyes had settled in after years of strife and the both of you growing “too old” to sleep side by side, at least according to your family. It wasn’t healthy, they said. You needed to learn to respectively mature on your own, they said.
Yuuta tried. He did. Although he had been steered away from his one shining beacon of light in a world full of darkness, what sort of brother would he be if he held you back from growing into the best version of yourself? To be selfish and indulge in his childish wants and needs was a frequent guilty desire of his, but he ultimately forced himself to refrain as much as he could manage.
He never slept well after that; not unless he could find an excuse to sneak into your bed, or you sneak into his. You were a sedative every time, lulling him to sleep with the warmth of your breath and body, familiar closeness stripping the worries of the world away so that he could rest. Nothing else ever worked so perfectly, even now that you both have grown.
That’s why, after the conclusion of a family gathering, sneaking into each other’s presence was a no-brainer.
Yuuta had joined you in the guest bedroom of your childhood home to decompress after his inability to do so alone. The both of you had taken on many responsibilities throughout the day, and while he certainly enjoyed spending time with the family, a restful night alone with you was what he craved the most by the end of it. Thankfully, having felt the same way, you didn’t hesitate to raise the covers and let him slide under until you both chit-chatted yourselves to sleep.
Now, Yuuta’s arms keep you close with their gentle grip around your waist, having at some point pulled you into him until the tips of your noses are mere inches apart. You’ve fluttered out of sleep for a moment to see him resting peacefully with all the grace of an angel, wearing his slumber so effortlessly as though it never dares to evade him.
But it does, because the darkened skin beneath his eyes has made its home there for longer than you can recall, telling all who will listen that he is tormented by the absence of something. Whether it be proper brain chemistry, the responsibility to maintain a schedule, or simple peace of mind, no one knows as he never divulges, but Yuuta is haunted by lack, and not even your keen sense of sibling intuition can sniff out just what it is that he needs. Or so you believe, at least.
Although he receives the brunt of it, you can feel it too—the ache. It settles deep within every crevice to remind you of its presence whenever you dare to forget, no matter how often you seem to shove it away with success. It always rattles your bones until Yuuta smiles in your direction like the sun revealing itself from a place behind the clouds, and you are reminded of fulfillment.
Oh, how he is your sunshine; your magnificent ray of light. It warms the cavity of your chest even as you lie here in the darkness.
Fingertips trace over the matching darkness beneath his eyes and down the slope of his nose to the outline of his pink, parted lips. He doesn’t even stir, too weighed upon by the thick blanket of sleep to pay any mind. You are delirious with awe, stricken by the heavenly beauty of the one who quells the ache. Does he know you love him so? Is he aware of the radiant beauty that compels you to draw closer like a moth to the flame?
Will he know if you lean forward to press an indulgent kiss upon his lips?
It’s a gentle peck that makes his brow twitch with unconscious curiosity. Were you privy to his dreams, you’d see that you’ve entered them, breathing life into his senses with every careful touch until his skin grows hot.
You fear you’ve woken him once his hips stir, but sleep pervades even as Yuuta’s breath seems to tickle your skin with more frequency, every quickened beat of his heart causing the more shallow rising of his lungs. You dare to press your lips to his once more, desperate for the satisfaction of his reaction, and you aren’t disappointed—Yuuta’s embrace tightens around you, breath hitching discreetly like a startled angel’s, and it’s when his hips roll forward again that the hardness pressing against your lower half becomes evident.
He dreams of your gentle kisses, of your breath gracing his skin, and he returns the favor in his mind now that he knows you’ll allow it. It will be a source of shame once he awakens, but dreams of this caliber are few and far between, something to be cherished in the moment without guilt or hesitation. As if he even has a choice.
Carefully, you hike your leg up over his hip to press yourself closer to the part of him that strains against fabric. You want to feel intertwined, strange as it might be; you want to infiltrate his mind like he does yours, sense his want and need, try and be privy to things that cannot possibly be known. But it’s so easy to be close like this, as though it were always meant to be, or always had been.
He’s warm between your hips. Real. The antidote to a deepseated loneliness and need to be with another, even if only in superficial touch. But will you settle for that?
No. You are greedy.
Yuuta, still captured in a dream, is somewhat easy to maneuver onto his back with a few gentle pushes, his body desperate to mold to yours until you are perfectly perched atop him. He slots between your thighs like he was made to be there, and you can almost feel his warm cock twitch through his pajamas beneath the new weight of your hips. The adjacent scenario in his mind grows increasingly realistic while you grow hungrier for every facet of his reaction.
Does he dream of you? Does he long for the sensation of your bodies finding harmony with one another like you do? You can’t say you haven’t imagined it yourself prior, mind drifting to the taboo when presented with his matured figure, though it still holds the same heat of familiarity from when you would curl up next to each other in your youth. It’s the ultimate combination of love and desecration that satisfies this abhorrent hunger you’ve found yourself plagued by, and even if it causes everything around you to come tumbling down, you can’t find it within yourself to care.
Yuuta’s breath hitches once more, brow furrowing as you rock yourself down against him with care. You know he deserves an undisturbed rest, even if the one he dreams of isn’t you, so you daren’t wake him now of all times. You’ll aid in his unconscious need while also indulging in your own.
You grind your hips a number of times, but the results are consequently underwhelming. The softness with which you must do it to avoid waking him is to blame, your lust being inhibited to prevent you from moving against him with the entirety of your animalistic need.
Yuuta, however, grunts with pleasure at the friction while you selfishly yearn for more, so after diligently working the waistband of his pants to sit a few inches lower on his hips, you pull your panties to the side and press your wet cunt directly upon the bulge in his briefs.
You shiver at the contact, resisting the urge to moan out loud into the quiet air as Yuuta’s cock rubs against you through the thinnest of layers. He’s leaky and throbbing below your clit as it drags once, twice, three times over him in an establishing rhythm, fabric growing wetter with each pass you make and his gentle moans escaping with greater frequency. You bite down on the collar of your shirt to refrain from mimicking his vocalization, but upon another scan with your eyes, you recall that there are other things you could be doing with your mouth.
Yuuta’s throat is exposed as his head lolls off to the side on the pillow, and you lean down to busy yourself with reverent kisses upon the sensitive skin. Your hips stutter in their movement now that you have succumb to the distraction of sucking on his neck, but Yuuta doesn’t seem to mind—in fact, he mewls and whines so decadently in his sleep that you are compelled to make the regrettable decision of sucking until there is a mark that reveals itself once you remove your lips.
And oh, does he look gorgeous adorning it.
You pull back to admire his needy image, but Yuuta wriggles and presses his hips up unto yours, apparently dissatisfied with your absence and seeking something more, only to make you dizzy with arousal and irrational need. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing to you, but it’s guiding you down yet another path of no return. Your beautiful angel is sending you straight to the pits of hell, and he isn’t even fully aware.
(If you could know of his dreams, you’d see that he feels quite similarly about you.)
The wet mess of Yuuta’s briefs are pulled down until his aching cock can spring out and dribble a string of precum onto his lower belly. There, a trail of dark hair paints the milky skin with masculinity, and you admire the sight for a good moment before sliding your finger over his wet tip until the muscles in his stomach twitch with delight.
Yuuta is so responsive and so malleable, easy to take in his sleep now that he feels safe enough to fall into a slumber as delectable as this. You are almost stricken finally with guilt for taking advantage of such a level of trust, but even in his unconscious state, it feels as though Yuuta is pleading for you to take him back as your most cherished thing, the one you are closest with and know more of than anyone or anything else. You feel a certain beckoning towards making up for all the years you were forced to maintain an artificial distance, to pretend as though you didn’t ache for the only person who knew you so deeply and so truly.
Stifling the hunger only made it worse in the end, because now Yuuta’s cock weeps when you stroke it and slide it between your wet folds, signaling to you that this is somehow the right decision. Perhaps it’s a matter of delusion rather than truth, but sinking down onto him fills you with nothing but pure, unfettered gratification.
You don’t hesitate to make him bottom out inside you, eager to be overwhelmed by him in every way, even if it forces a whimper to spill from your lips in the process. Yuuta responds in kind as the snug fit allows a cascade of warmth to wash over him, blissfully unaware that he is now closer to you than he ever has been, and that he cries out in his sleep over it. It’s diabolical, really, but your dear brother wears pleasure so beautifully on his face that you can’t help but fall deeper into your pit of depravity.
A wet noise makes itself known amongst heavy breaths when you raise yourself up and drop back down on his length. It’s an act so indiscreet that you can only accomplish it twice more before Yuuta’s moans shift into noises with more presence, brows furrowed, body shuffling, and eyes cracking open to be met with the sight of your hips flush against his, cock constricted by the same blinding heat he felt seconds before waking up.
Eyes growing wide, his heart leaps out of his chest with a sudden surge of panic. “What are you—hah—d-doing—?1”
Yuuta is cut off by the palm of your hand slamming over his mouth to dampen the noise, his sounds of pleasure and surprise reaching a volume that makes you wary in a house in which you are not alone.
“Shh, Yuuta, shh…” you warn in a whisper, allowing him a second to process the danger of letting his voice raise too high, all while keeping your hips moving steadily against his.
Gradually, the panicked breathing through his nose settles to something more manageable, and Yuuta’s eyes roll into the back of his skull with a muffled grunt. “Does it feel good?” you ask, and he nods his answer, having further transitioned from alarm to living out the sinking, heavenly feeling of being coupled with you in his dream.
The morality of it all claws painfully at the back of his skull, but Yuuta is too inundated with the physical and spiritual need that has consumed you both to pay anything else much attention. He conforms to your will because it aligns so well with his own.
“Can you be quiet?”
He nods again, seeking a firm grip against your hips as you hesitantly remove your hand from his mouth. Yuuta swallows down a breath and refrains from speaking despite all the thoughts that race through his head, and you are pleased to see how receptive he is to this unthinkable act.
It could certainly be a fawn response from a peacekeeper such as himself, but you know he is capable of putting his foot down once a certain line has been crossed. He could throw you off him in an instant if he truly felt so deeply wronged by your actions, yet he chooses to stay nestled between your thighs and buried deep in your cunt after you take him over and over, because he wants this.
Doesn’t he?
The look in his teary eyes says he does, and so do the ragged breaths, the quivering lip between his teeth to bite back a moan, the way you swear he almost aids in guiding you up and down his length…
Yuuta, for the moment, looks to be as enthralled as you are by this disastrous development, and that reaffirming image alone will accompany you every day until you have at least one foot in the grave.
He is porcelain and pristine, framed by pillows and moonlight and looking a touch too fragile as though he might break with the next slam of your hips, but you know him to be hardy after all that has tried to chip away at him throughout his short life. Yuuta’s strength in love and spirit is as strong as the pale fingers that dig into your flesh, and he has decided amidst it all to be yours for this moment; a blessing bestowed upon you that could make the gratitude utterly burst forth from your chest.
You want to spill your glee upon his lips, have him know that you are thankful for his gratuity even if this is the first and only time he will give it, so you lean down to steal him for another kiss that he returns tenfold. Yuuta’s lips are more alive in his waking state and more than happy to drink in your taste between shaking breaths, the intimacy of having your tongue slide along his lower lip twisting the tightness in his gut to where it could rupture at any moment.
There’s a muffled whimper as he chases your hips, instincts unveiled but not more so than the part of him that has yearned for this for far longer than he can even recall. Now that it has been offered to him on a silver platter, he will devour and cherish it for the feast that it is, even if he doesn’t last long enough to savor every morsel to the extent he would like.
“I want you to cum,” you breathe, leading him ever closer towards that dangerous edge as if you know what sullies his mind. To hear those words in your voice, even if in a whisper, are like the gates of an abominable heaven opening up for him. “Please.”
Yuuta is incapable of denying you for even less. A plea of such magnitude rattles his bones and nearly strips him of all free-will, commanding his body to succumb to its base desires and seek fulfillment through finishing inside you. He relinquishes control and is punched by the pleasure that follows, hiding his face against your throat and fighting to keep his moan suppressed to an acceptable volume.
His warmth takes over you from the inside in spurts, twitching out of him at your deepest point as you settle against his base and further soak the dark curls around it with your arousal. You let him ride the high until he is empty and panting, and only then do you rise up and place a finger against your clit, circling it with a grind of your hips to enhance the pleasure that had been building in your core.
Yuuta watches in awe despite the sensitivity that spurs from your walls squeezing around his used cock, but he has never been more thrilled to be utilized. It doesn’t take long for you to come crashing down to join him in the orgasmic bliss that has you collapsing against his chest with a series of bone-chilling shivers, the satisfaction greater and more incomprehensible than you could’ve imagined.
The two of you are a heap of heavy breaths and quivering muscles, staring into each other’s eyes as the reality of the situation attempts to set in. As much as it should feel repulsive and regrettable, your actions nothing less than reprehensible, your greatest fear is the selfish one of hearing Yuuta say he doesn’t love you anymore. It would be most understandable after what you’ve done, but it frightens you nonetheless.
He struggles to catch his breath and confirm that this wasn’t just a figment of his dastardly imagination. “What—”
Yuuta doesn’t get the chance to stammer out a question before you cut him off with a kiss—a kiss that is so deep and desperate it screams your despair over it possibly being the final one.
You pull back and curl into his neck with murmured remorse. “I’m sorry, Yuuta. I’m sorry.”
His heart flutters with overwhelm but is ultimately on the brink of accepting that something within finally feels actualized. Will he be damned for submitting to it? Is it an insult to his being to so willingly yield after being explicitly taken without permission? Or was it necessary for him in order to reach this point all along?
Yuuta holds no animosity in his heart regardless of whether or not it is warranted. All he carries is a deep sense of love and appreciation.
Wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace, he fully savors your closeness at last.
“Don’t be,” he says.
He’s just glad it isn’t a dream anymore.
#yuuta okkotsu x reader#yuuta okkotsu smut#yuta okkotsu x reader#jjk x reader#my writing.#re: yuuta okkotsu
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Reincarnation
"So, reincarnation."
"Yes?"
"How does it work?"
"No idea."
"…What do you mean, no idea?"
"Not my area. People die, then they get reborn. I only handle the first part."
"But I have been other people?"
"Your soul has been other people. You've only ever been yourself."
"So can you tell who my soul has been?"
"Nope."
"Hmm. So when I die and get reincarnated, you won't be able to find me?"
"Oh. No. Wait, did you want me to??"
"…Stop looking at me like that."
"That's very romantic, beloved."
"I was just, I was only curious."
"You won't have to worry about it anyway."
"What? Wait, why?"
"Um. No reason. Nothing. Forget I said that."
"Rioooo."
"…sacred mystery?"
"You cannot say that every time you don't want to answer a question. Real answer, please."
"…Not everyone is reincarnated."
"Now we're getting somewhere. So what happens to them?"
"That actually is a sacred mystery, Ags."
"Fine. Who chooses whether they're reincarnated or not?"
"Same answer."
"Mmhmm. Why do you look so guilty about it? Is that also a sacred mystery?”
"I don't look guilty."
"My sweet, you are a terrible liar. Is it possible that you've got some say in the matter?"
"…maybe…"
"And you don't want me to be reincarnated because you would lose me? Something like that?"
"…are you going to call me creepy?”
“Maybe—wait, does that bother you?”
“Sometimes.”
“Oh! Well, in that case, definitely. I stopped because I thought that one wasn’t landing.”
“…Agatha.”
“You’re over here making choices about my afterlife. I can call you creepy.”
“…does it really bother you?”
“Would it change anything?”
“…”
“Creeeepy.”
“Beloved, can you, for once in your life, pretend you are capable of taking anything seriously?”
“Well, what if I said, with all seriousness, that I wanted to be reincarnated?”
“…don’t say that.”
“So you want me to be serious, but also only say what you want to hear?”
“…Yes?”
“Tell me what happens if I’m not reincarnated, then.”
“I can’t, it’s a—“
“Yeah, yeah. Sacred mystery. Will you be there?”
“Yes.”
“…Good enough, then. I’ll take it—Whoa! Uh, hi, that was fast, did you want somethin—Rio, wait, I like this dress, don’t—“
“AgathaAgathaIloveyou.”
“Right, yes, I’m glad, but let’s calm dow—“
“Love, stop talking.”
Sometime much later
“Never mind. I’ve changed my mind. I want to be reincarnated.”
“…please tell me that is you not taking anything seriously again.”
“Could be.”
“Agatha…”
“An eternity of this, huh? …honestly, sounds pretty nice.”
“…”
“…did you just grow a tree? Just now?”
“I got excited. And I assume you don’t want to…”
“Again?? Noooo, no, I’m good. It’s a beautiful tree.”
“Ags, I really love you.”
“I know.”
“…”
“Heh. Love you.”
“Mm. Forever and ever.”
“…creepy.”
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Jayvik ramblings
There was once a livejournal where you could compile shipping manifestos, and I wrote one about Zoro/Sanji that had 6000+ words lol. Ngl, Jayvik makes me want to do the same these days, but for now I just need to compile a few thoughts, feel free to gush with me or add to that or correct me.
In every timeline & possibility Viktor chose to save Jayce ("only you can show me this"), even when it meant that they would create hextech and doom the world. And only Jayce can ultimately save Viktor from himself. In the timeline Ekko was sent to where hextech doesn't exist Jayce and Viktor are very possibly dead (suicide / disease), since Jayce was already on the verge of killing himself in the base timeline when his dream was shattered, even without a teenager that died in his lab, and Viktor (who wouldn't have sought out Jayce without his speech about creating magic) would later be dying and wouldn't have shimmer/the hexcore.
There are multiple scenes where Viktor gives Jayce the rune, like when he stops him from killing himself he picks up his bracelet, and he also hands him the crystal when they're trying to stabilize hextech for the first time (just found the imagery symbolic). In their final scene, Jayce gives it back to him (and it looks so gentle for once how he can just remove the rune and carefully hand it to him)
Jayce was always adamant about seeing Viktor as an equal partner from the very beginning ("your hextech dream" "OUR hextech dream" Mel: "you're the dean's assistant" "no, he is my new partner")
In the "this isn't my bedroom" scene Viktor looks displeased when Jayce looks taken by Mel (only noticed that recently!)
Viktor either never noticed or ignored Sky's affections and even after he got to know them after her death, he did not reciprocate and still calls her Ms Young in the astral plane. She can even tell it's not true when he says he will miss their talks. I just saw a clip where Christian Linke even claims that that wasn't actually Sky, but the hexcore pretending to be Sky (which is so dark and twisted IMO). Apparently, Amanda Overton also stated that Sky on the astral plane was a stand-in for Jayce to Viktor. Although I haven't seen the clip myself where she says it.
The constant juxtaposition between Viktor and Mel, starting by their design (Viktor getting progressively more sick and pale, Mel always glowing and golden) and just base characters (Viktor the poor, disabled Zaun rat who has nothing to his name, lives for science and hates being in the lamplight; Mel the influential and cunning politician who makes them her investments). Jayce even hallucinating first Mel and then Viktor in the flames. The Jayce Mel sex scene while Viktor is almost dying and Jayce returning to Viktor after. Also, him deciding to give up on his council seat and his whole career to return to the lab with Viktor where he feels he belongs after Viktor almost died in the beginning of S2.
Jayce ousting his former mentor to save Viktor's life
Viktor convinced that Jayce would understand after Singed tells him everyone will hate and despise him (and Jayce did!)
The scene on the bridge when Jayce has to pick Viktor up in S1 (after he went to Singed) and the POV changes! Where the angles are first neutral, representing them being equal, but then the camera looks down on Viktor as soon as Jayce talks badly about the Undercity.
Jayce's pure terror when he thinks Viktor is dying after the explosion, just being by Viktor's side, sleeping in the lab etc and them handing him that blanket that Viktor keeps forever. Also, Jayce not even hesitating or judging for a second when he sees Viktor's augmented leg etc. He even recorded everything when he continued and used his notes lol.
allll their quotes "it was affection that kept us together" "I thought you were done with Hextech. And with me", being partners again yadda yadda
Even in the midst of everything and his all out war with Viktor, Jayce speaks for himself and Viktor when he quarrels with Mel ("because you used me, and Viktor, for hextech!") and his anger at her not saving Viktor and the others
And I don't think I even have to elaborate on their ending haha, the beauty in Viktor's imperfections, the promise, the wanting his partner back and finishing it together...
And they were celestial roommates <3
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𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬
pair. soft dom! chris x sub/virgin! fem reader | genre. established relationship, power imbalance, slight angst, smut| warnings. use of pet names, dirty talking, profanity, penetrative/unprotected sex.
synopsis. "You've ruined me, I'm destroyed. How could any other girl be good, be enough for me after you?"
author's note. i wished it was him...
➽──────────────❥
"Scared?"
"Should I be, oppa?"
He shook his head. "You'll never be in danger with me. Unless you like it."
"I didn't know what I liked until I saw you."
Chris loved the pressure of your body on top of him while you were kissing, on his unmade bed, the silken cascade of your long strands tickling his nose, his cheeks, the delicate perfume of your skin burning everytime you met his faintly elusive gaze, under his daintily skilled touch, and the hesitant swinging of your tiny waist against his prominent lenght, a foretaste of what would have defiled you ceaselessly all night.
"Baby doll, beware, if you let me be the first to fuck you the only way I know how to fuck pretty cunts like yours, I swear, you'll be cursed forever."
He raised his lower back, flaunting his hardness, his thickness, making your mouth hang open when your still coated sex rubbed casually against his stirred, throbbing protuberance.
"Please," you said, voice incredibly clear, limpid to his ears, like a sudden rainfall of crystals shattering on the floor, "d-don't make me w-wait, oppa. C-can't wait to see w-what you'll do o-of me."
Sweet, rotten angel, can't even finish a sentence without miserably stumbling at the thought of getting fucked for the first time ,like she deserves, like the surreal, reckless, unaware temptress she is.
You flipped your hair, the long, disheveled cascade now falling wildly on your naked shoulders as you unhooked the front closure of your bra, taking his hands in yours, quivering, guiding them on your fair, flawless breasts, making him tighten his grasp to indulge in their tempting round shape.
So desirable, and still so inexplicably insecure, he thought, tracing with his thumbs your already turgid nipples, making you close your eyes and call his name like a fervent prayer in breathy sighs, does she even notices, imagines the effect she has on men?
He moistened his full lips, tired of anticipating, and lifted up just enough to put his hungry mouth on your extremely sensitive, rosy nub, sucking avidly on it, making you cry and tilt your head back.
"You want oppa to go slow?"
He pulled up your skirt and pushed aside your panties, circling unhurriedly your clit, making you so pathetically wet that you couldn't help but blush seeing how your honey-like essence irreparably soiled the fabric of his black jeans.
"You need oppa to make sure if you can really take his massive cock inside this untouched, sacred pussy of yours?"
He let two long fingers slid inside your crevice, going so harshly deep that you thought you would pass out. Chris started moving, in and out, carefully at first, then with a certain eagerness when he felt your hips instinctly following the agonizing rhythm of his movements.
"Goddamn, your smell, so intense…You really want me to fuck you so bad, angel? Shit, you look amazing while struggling with all your strenghts to keep my fingers in like this, in this thight, little paradise you call cunt, but will you handle the roughest part of me? Tell me, do you think you can really hold it there? Because once you'll let me penetrate you, deflower you, I know I won't be able to stop. I'll spoil you, baby doll. I'm gonna wreck all your precious doll parts, you know this?"
You whimpered, biting your lower lip, nodding. "The good girl you are," Chris praised you, slithering gently a third digit and curling it languidly, simultaneously with the others, watching you hissing, taking a fistful of his hair to fight the pain. "See, you can barely take another one, and we're not even close to what your body is going to experience."
Teardrops glistening on your eyelashes like morning dew on velvety rose petals.
"Am I not enough for you, Chris?" you asked him, dropping the honorific for the first time since you've met him, holding back the sadness, rejecting the thought of being nothing to him. "Am I not good like the other girls you had before?"
Chris watched your eyes become teary for the first time, and he felt like a part of him died the moment he knew he was somehow responsable for that. He couldn't tolerate it, he won't ever be able to endure it no more. He gently pulled his fingers out of you, letting the rapture wait, his desire arrest a little bit longer.
"Is it me who makes you believe you're not the prettiest I've ever seen? The only purest, perfect creature my tired eyes have truly met? Then punish me baby doll," he whispered sincerely with apprehension, grabbing your tiny wrist and using your clenched fist to attempt hitting his sculpted chest, "hit me. I don't deserve to be your first, to call you mine, if I can't make you see how much of a real man only you can make me feel. Look what you do to me."
He unzipped his jeans, letting his aching erection darting free from any constriction, then guided your hand on it. "Shit, do you even imagine how much self control I needed to forbid my instict to fuck you like an animal to prevail everytime you were sleeping next to me? Every single time you accidentally rubbed against my cock when I cuddled you from behind? You've ruined me, I'm destroyed. How could any other girl be good, be enough for me after you?"
Chris slapped himself aggressively in the face, his cheek turning ruby red. "I'm fucking bad, baby. I've been the worst if I ever made you doubt of me. Hit me."
"Oppa, please."
He took off his shirt and did it again, even more violently then before, then clutched his grasp around your wrist again. Your tears now flowing copiously, blurring your vision, hazing your mind.
"Come on baby, right here, on my heart, do it, hurt me like I've hurt you."
"Oppa, no. I don't want this," you cried frustrated, trying to fight against his will, but he was stronger, so much stronger and determined to suffer.
"Why?" he asked, mad at himself more than ever.
"Chris, stop," you cried, voice breaking and shaking.
"Why?" he insisted, his tone too peremptory to be ignored.
"Because I fucking love you."
You screamed at the top of your lungs, words still floating in the room, echoing in the narcotic stillness of the night, the only remedy to placate his fury, the only antidote to cure his pain, his torn soul.
"Let me be yours. I wanna be the only girl who can have you. I wanna turn into everything you've ever dreamed of, into everything you've ever needed."
He smiled, caressing your chin fondly.
"I didn't know what I needed until I saw you."
You kissed him, and it felt like drifting, like losing a part of yourself forever in that sublime exchange of minds and souls when you captured his lips in yours, stealing his breath, devouring his spirit.
Chris grabbed you firmly and pushed you against the mattress, onto his sheets, pulling down your skirt, making your panties slide down to your ankles, throwing them somewhere at the foot of the bed. He got up, taking off his pants alongside with his underwear. He positioned himself between your legs, unmoving, just admiring how breathtaking you were like this, with nothing on, exposed, frail underneath his ravenous gaze.
You grabbed his cock, so huge in your little palm, and massaged the tip delicately with your thumb, sprinkling it in his white, pearlescent fluid.
"Fuck honey, don't tease if you still want me to be gentle with you," he panted, not doing anything to make you stop though.
You giggled silently, secretly amused by his uncontrolled reaction.
"Does oppa like it like this?" you whispered.
"Oppa loves it."
You pushed the tip against your soft folds, rubbing it against your clit and the edge of your entrance. Chris cursed, shuddering, almost losing his balance, all the weight of his body risking to crash over yours.
"And like this? Does oppa like it better like this?"
"Fuck yes, so much better."
He pulled your body closer to his and spread your legs the widest he could.
"God, you're a fucking vision. So soaking wet, so open. Like this baby, rain for me, I'm so thirsty I'm gonna drain you, I'm gonna suck you dry," he warned, bending down to reach your sex glistening in your arousal, inhaling its forbidden scent deeply, making you flush, making you whine in ecstasy when he rubbed his upper lip against your swollen clit.
"Oppa wants a taste, will you let him?"
You nodded, incapable of articulating anything similar to a consent.
"Let me hear it coming from those lovely lips."
"Oppa?" you said, gulping, his nose already stroking your sensitive slit.
"Yes, baby doll?"
"I need your mouth on me, oppa, wanna feel your tongue, but please, please, let me cum on you, with you, let it happen when you're inside me."
"Is that what you want?"
"More than anything else."
"Then you don't need to ask."
Chris could feel your body writhing convulsively underneath his voracious wet muscle as he licked with extreme accuracy every inch, every soft ripple of your slippery folds, letting your flavor invade his cavity, permeating his palate, and your inebriating perfume dulling his senses like the finest of drugs.
You grabbed a fistful of his hair, moaning, as he sucked on your clit, flattening his tongue, using the tip to violate your immaculate fissure. He groaned satisfied, drinking greedily from that inexhaustible source of pleasure, the guttural sounds coming from his throat vibrating against it, sending fiery, violent frissons down your spine.
You arched your back and he helped you raise your waist to have full access on each perfect, most secret part of you, but you suddenly tried to stop him, gripping gently the long strands brushing against the nape of his neck, rebelling to his feral appetite, wanting to escape from that immeasurable delight.
"C-Chris…w-what…" you mumbled, too weak to protest, to withstand any longer.
"Oppa lied, sweetheart. He's such a demanding bastard. How is he even supposed to resist when your cunt tastes like fucking heaven? Tell me. I told you I wouldn't be able to stop, that I would have fucking spoiled you so bad."
His licking, still so precise, became quicker, feverish, his sucking vehement, avid, the tip of his tongue hitting persistently your yielding cleft, going everytime a little bit further.
You whined, cursing, crying desperate at the sensation, every limb spasming. "Y-you p-promised…"
"Never been a man of value," he confessed under his breath, looking at you through his long eyelashes, "I'm a son of a bitch, baby doll, not fucking prince charming."
You pulled his hair, without even noticing that you were rocking your hips towards his mouth to feel it moving again on you, but he stood still, remaining impassive.
"Beg me," he teased provocatively, "do it properly, and I'll stop."
You attempted to speak, to formulate any kind of plea, of request, but your words came out like nothing more but feeble, breathy sounds, confused truncated gasps.
"Fuck, C-Chris…"
His lips still cruelly consuming you, busy torturing you. "You can't do better than this, can you?"
"Please," you implored, breathless, exhausted, but in a surprisingly clear, firm voice.
Chris gazed into your eyes with defiance.
"Sorry honey," he purred, "I can't hear you."
One more deliberate twist, one last measured swirl around your irresistibly slick core, then Chris' tongue flicked inside your inviting slit, repeatedly, obsessively, so in to the hilt that he perceived a storm of irrepressible jolts coming from your body, shaking, screaming to let go. Cum, he finally granted, groaning, cum now, and you did, finally surrendering to him, jerking, cursing, crying, gushing so much, so shamelessly that you painted his chin, his lips, his mouth in your dense, snow-white nectar.
Chris drank every single drop of your orgasm, then got on his knees again on the bed. He lay his body over yours, so willowy, so fragile underneath his imposing one, and tried to kiss you, but you turned the other way.
He smiled, patiently. "You mad at me?"
You did not answer.
He pressed his lips on your temple gently, leaving a long trail of kisses on your cheek, on your neck, on your collarbone, going down to your breast where he sucked on your nipple, biting it, making you moan again, whine like he loved so much.
"I wanted you," you complained.
"And you'll have me," he said, taking your hand to guide it on his bulging, pulsing hardness. "Can't you see how much I want to see you cum with my cock buried inside you? But trust me, you weren't ready. I know what's best, you would have just hurt yourself, and I don't want this."
His hand dangerously slid to your overstimulated sex, fingers slowly sinking in your walls and coming out. "Fuck, still so thight baby, a bundle of nerves down there, and you don't even know you haven't felt anything yet."
You took his face in your hands, your piercing eyes meeting his, blurred by urge and lust.
"Fuck me, oppa. Do it till it pleases you, till it hurts me, till nobody will ever take me, will ever want me again, till I'd be nothing but doll parts scattered on your bed. I'm fucking yours, I don't care about the rest. Fuck me, please, fuck me now, fuck me hard, I need you, I love you."
Chris suddenly wrapped one arm around your hips to pull you closer to his frame, to trap you entirely under his weight, then grabbed your thighs and made your legs clasp around his waist solidly.
"Damn baby, the things you do to me when you talk like this. You're so docile and persuasive. I really wanted to go slow, doing it as it should be done, but God, you make it so difficult, you're not really bringing out the best of me right now."
You caressed his lenght in his entirety, from the head to the base, so rigid, impressive, veins popping out, pre-cum spilling gently in a long, thin stream. "I couldn't agree less," you stated, smiling maliciously.
He suddenly gripped your wrists and pinned both your hands over your head, making you giggle, watching you totally captivated.
"What?" you asked curious.
"I wanna remember you like this forever."
He entered you fully, heatedly, incapable of controlling himself, of resisting you, of waiting any longer and hushing his impatience, his impulsive exigency to fill your cunt for the first time, completely, to the extreme. He stared spellbound at how his huge cock disappeared under your sparkling skin, and how your pussy, so smooth, so delicate, took it in with absolute composure. He bent down, stealing a long, soothing kiss from your parted lips to try softening your pain, to help your body calm, relax, gradually and naturally adjust to his presence.
Chris moaned tilting his head back lost in the rapture of your thightness enwrapping him so hungrily, squeezing him so forcefully, then started moving his hips leisurely, his thrusts rhythmic and regular, constant and sustained. More, harder, please oppa, faster, he heard you crying, so eager, insatiable, desperately raising your waist to try fastening his phlegmatic pace, so his shoves got quicker, wilder, as he shortened the duration of his hammering movements and intensified their force, their steadiness.
He could feel distinctly your legs jerking, your muscles contracting, your walls constricting, fluttering erratically around him, suffocating his shaft in that furious, chaotic whirlwind of tremors and convulsions. He was well aware he was also irrevocably close to his own verge.
"Shit, p-princess, oppa wants to f-fill you with his c-cum, w-will you let him?" he panted, visibly struggling to articulate that coherent phrase as he kept on shoving himself into you relentlessly, hastily, ruthlessly.
"Yes, fuck, yes…" you allowed, and then, there was nothing left to do but abandoning to the gripping power of ecstasy.
You both orgasmed, collapsing enfolded in the warmth of your embrace, blatantly entranced, unbridled, floating blissfully in that heavenly, idyllic vortex of carnal and spiritual junction, ruled by that strong, passionate but contradictory feeling of coming to life and dying at the same time, you coating his golden skin in your honeyed juices and he releasing his hot fluid emprisoned in your trembling body, calling your name, no terms of endearment this time, no nicknames, just your real name forming sensually on his lips as he reached the culmination of his own pleasure, making you feel for once more than just his little girl, but his woman.
Chris fell down on his back, weary, sated, trying hard to catch his breath again as his chest moved up and down rhythmically.
"What?" he asked seeing you smiling.
You shrugged. "Nothing. I just wanna remember you like this forever."
He laughed wholeheartedly. "Come here."
And he kissed you, in the only way he could, he knew, leaving you wishing on bittersweet illusions, on the stupidly romantic dream that he wouldn't be just your first, but maybe even your last.
© cultlix, 2024. all rights reserved.
#stray kids#skz#bang chan#stray kids smut#skz smut#bang chan smut#bang chan x reader#stray kids imagines#bang chan imagines#stray kids scenarios#bang chan scenarios#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids hard hours
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For Death Or Glory : Epilogue
Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)
Warnings: 18+ Smut (you know the drill) Fluff, Romantic Themes, Drinking / Alcohol (once more- it’s a bar) Pining, Harmless Bullying, Swearing, Wholesome Family Fun (which is crazy to say considering what’s coming next)
Smut Warnings: Kissing, Oral Sex, Hands going places, Penetrative Sex | they’re both switches - do with that what you will
Word Count: 10.6k
Summary: It’s the bar’s second anniversary and a certain couple’s first.
Author's Note: I bet you thought we were done here 😉 You already know that I couldn’t let this end that easily! I knew from the start that I would have an epilogue for you, but as I was working on it, I had a thought— luckily for you.. I wrote it in. If you notice the word count, this is astronomically long compared to the rest of the story; I decided to add basically a second chapter once I had the idea. (If you need to pause, there’s a definitive break that you could absolutely stop at! I’ll add a couple ***’s so you know when)
Consider the second half like a bonus chapter if you will 🥰
Anyway this is getting long, I love this story, these two, and you guys for loving them with me. I hope you giggle and kick your feet over this monster of a chapter 🖤 this is definitely not the last you’ll be seeing of these two, but for now, let’s just enjoy this together 🥹
Forever - Noah Kahan "I won’t be alone for the rest of my life, I’ll build a boat for when the river gets high."
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One year later..
“That’s okay; just drive safe, honey.”
I tucked my phone back into my pocket, grabbed a few stray glasses, and rounded the corner behind the bar. Thankful that the bar isn’t busy at the moment, even though I know we’re mere seconds away from the chaos that’ll ensue.
Deciding to keep the tradition, the bar is only open until eleven tonight because of the holiday. All of our regulars will still make it a point to stop by tonight since it’s the floating anniversary of the official opening. I know there’s an actual date that we opened, but letting it change with the holiday every year is more fun to me.
It’s nice getting to spend a few hours just working with Josh while everyone else is wrapping up work or getting ready for tomorrow. It is funnier that they’ll all show up tonight, even though we’re about to spend the next two days together.
“What happened?” Josh asks, leaning against the bar.
I look over at him as I’m setting all the glasses into the dirty bin, telling him, “Oh, she’s fine,” and letting out a small laugh. “She hit traffic, but she’s almost here– just feels bad she’s ‘late.’ You know how Char is.”
He chuckles to himself, “Oh, that silly girl must have forgotten that everybody and their cousin is driving today.”
“I told her that I didn’t care when she got here anyway,” I tell him, giggling at the thought of her stressing over the time. “We have the whole weekend together; I’m not going to complain that she’s twenty minutes behind.”
Josh just smiles back at me for a second before breathing out, “It’s sweet that she still wants to soak up all the time she can with you, though.”
“I hit the jackpot with her for sure,” I let out quietly, checking the fridges to make sure everything was good. “Are you good for a minute? I just need to answer a few emails real quick.”
He shoos me away to my office, where I’ve sat to do a few admin things before it gets busy or Charlotte shows up. I mindlessly read through a few emails that can wait until after the holiday weekend but then start writing back to the more important ones. I know that I could realistically do these after she’s here but the last thing I ever want to do is be this level of distracted from her. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past year, it’s that I love my job, but I love her more.
I fell in love with Charlotte within three weeks, and she’s only proven to me that it was the greatest thing I could have let myself do. Despite the fact that we don’t live very close to each other, the days we aren’t physically together fly by. It still lets her have some independence, even though I would have asked her to move in the day we started dating. I’m so used to the chaos that I don’t think she could ever bother me.
Not that I have the most experience with relationships, but I would say that she is probably the most incredible girlfriend that exists. I still feel like I’m dreaming most days; the only downside is when she’s upset, and I can’t get to her fast enough. Not exactly proud of the few times that I’ve almost left the bar because she sounded a little too sad saying she missed me on the phone.
“Hi baby,” Char’s voice rings through my office.
“There she is,” slips out as I whip my head over to her. Quickly standing up, reaching for her hands as I got closer, I said, “I missed you.”
“I swear nobody knows how to drive today,” she tells me in between kisses. “Literally, everybody just kept slowing down even though nothing was happening!”
Chuckling at her, it’s precious when she’s worked up like this. Kissing her forehead gently before telling her, “Breathe honey, it’s over. You made it.”
“I know– you’re right,” She breathes out before quietly asking, “You’re sure your parents don’t mind me being here for Thanksgiving?”
“I think my mom would explode if you didn’t,” I told her. “Plus, I wouldn’t want you to spend the weekend alone.”
“I still don’t know what possessed my parents to plan a vacation during the holidays, but” she rolls her eyes with a laugh but squeezes my hands when she tells me, “I’m much happier to spend them with you.”
Kissing her a few more times before saying, “I’m just excited to have you here all weekend.”
Pulling her out into the bar, sitting in the booth that the rest of the family will stake claim over later. She sat across from me, telling me about her day since we were both fairly busy and hadn’t gotten to talk much throughout the day.
“Oh!” She pipes up. “I found this, and I thought you might enjoy it.” She hands me a folder with random paperwork, and I just look at her with my eyebrow raised. She giggles quietly, “Look at the corners, babe.”
I start reading all her little notes. This is what she was doing the whole time. Every page with the margins filled with little intrusive thoughts she must have been having; ‘hands, hands, hands,’ ‘pretty mouth,’ ‘he’s so cute I could cry.’ Random hearts surrounded some of them, with my name written out in cursive every few pages, like a girl in elementary school.
Thinking of all the times I would glance over at her, she would just be scribbling things down with a little smirk on her face. Or the way she would tuck pages away when she saw me coming over.
My heart swelled, seeing that she had been secretly feeling the same way. It always felt like there was something more than ‘friends with benefits,’ but I was so afraid to get my hopes up. I chuckle to myself, breathing out, “I love you so much.”
Met with silence– we haven’t actually said that to each other yet. Not that I didn’t want to, but we both just nervously danced around it. My eyes darted up to her, realizing what I said.
Her eyes are wide, “.. Jake.” I close the folder and set it in front of us. Shit. You’ve made it a whole year without letting it slip; that’s impressive enough, right?
“Char,” I start; it probably is about time I finally told her. “It sounds insane, but I’ve basically loved you since the day you walked in.”
She slowly blinked at me, “What do you mean? How?”
It truly feels like I have to just come clean with it at this point, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you after you left that day; something about you just stuck with me.”
“I felt like I ruined your whole day. You definitely seemed like you were panicking?”
“Oh, I was,” I laugh. “But I thought about you every day until you came back.”
“But—” she hesitates, looking down at the table for a second. “I cried in front of you, literally the second time we actually saw each other.”
I nod at her, “Oh, I know.”
“And I lied to you..”
“Hun,” I start, grabbing her hand. “I would do it all over again a million times if it meant I got you at the end of it.”
She just stares at me, and I watch her eyes as tears creep in. She looks up, trying to fight the inevitable.
I reach up, knocking the little tears off her cheeks like always, before telling her, “You don’t have to say it back. Don’t feel like you have to. I’ll gladly wait until–”
She cuts me off with a quiet, “I love you.”
The sound of it practically knocks the wind out of me; I knew from the beginning that she would probably take a while to say it in general or even just say it back because she was so hesitant about her feelings. I never wanted to pressure her into it, even though a year ago, with us standing out in the snow, I knew I was in love with her.
I slide out of my seat, take two steps to be next to her, squat down, and grab both of her hands.
“Can I say something to you? I don’t expect anything from you after,” I ask, looking up at her.
“Of course.”
I look at her for a split second before I finally let it out, “I’m so, so in love with you, Charlotte. I’ve been waiting for you to feel comfortable saying it because I never want to overwhelm you or push you away. I can’t imagine life without you at this point; you mean everything to me, honey.”
Her eyes are so soft, and her lip quivers a little as she looks back at me. She whispers, “You’re gonna make me cry.” She leans down to me, leaving a few gentle kisses on my lips.
“And you are far more than I could have ever dreamt of,” She says with a little sniff as she fights back the tears. “I’ve never known a love like yours. Some days I still don’t believe you’re real and that I’m lucky enough that you keep me around even when I’m such a pain in your ass.”
“You’re my favorite pain in the ass, though,” I tell her, kissing her knuckles gently. My heart is pounding as she’s telling me the sweetest things; it feels unbelievable that she feels the same way.
Her little giggle blesses my ears before she keeps going, her voice still breaking as she tells me, “I hate that you had to be let down so many times, but I’m so glad that every girl fumbled you, so now, I get you to myself.”
“I’ll be yours for as long as you’ll keep me,” I whisper to her, watching as her chin quivers. She let out a small ‘oh’ as her hand flew up to cover her mouth. Rubbing her legs for a second until she pulls me into a hug.
I kiss the side of her head before mumbling, “Happy anniversary, hun.” Leaning back and carefully wiping the tears from under her eyes, trying not to mess up her makeup. Quietly cooing, “Oh, my beautiful girl.”
“Baby, shhhh,” she laughs, looking up to try and avoid more tears.
I chuckle to myself, letting out, “Oh, I’m sorry. I meant, my absolute knockout—“
Her laugh cuts me off, which I would let happen any day—anything to see her smile.
I feel a tap on my back, bringing me back to real life. I turned, and honestly, I should have known.
“Hi, sweetheart,” my mom’s voice rings through the bar. Josh got it from somewhere. Her arms wrapped me in a hug, rocking me back and forth.
“I’m excited to see you too,” I laugh. She pulls back, brushing the hair out of my face like she always does, just staring at me for a second.
Her eyes soften as we look at each other; she looks like she wants to say something but holds it back. That’s weird. Gently moving me to the side, her excited voice is back, “Don’t think I didn’t see you!” Charlotte quickly stands up, also getting pulled into a hug.
“Mmmm, my other sweetheart,” she says, Char’s giggling as she gets the same treatment from my mom. “I missed you two.”
My parents immediately loved her when they met. Whether it was because they were so excited that I finally found someone or because Char is an incredible girl, who knows? Mom was especially over the moon about her when she discovered that they both enjoy baking and reading.
I was nervous at the idea of them meeting her, especially when we had barely even figured out what we were doing. But, the moment we walked into the house where they were staying, it went away. We took turns grabbing each other's hands for comfort because it was all still so fresh. It probably seems wild to introduce someone to your parents two days into the relationship, but I’ve never been so sure about someone.
My dad’s arm slides around my shoulders, pulling me into him for a second.
“Hey bud,” his voice is way calmer. “I see you’ve lost them.” He chuckles. I glance over as the two of them are fully in conversation, to the point that my mom has stolen my seat.
“Looks that way, huh?” I laugh, hugging him back. Nodding towards the bar, I ask, “Want a drink?”
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My dad kept us entertained for a bit as he sipped his drink, telling us about the trip to get here. They seem to have the worst luck with flying. I take the chance to slip out from behind the bar, and I sneak off into my office, pulling out my phone, but I quickly get distracted when I hear my mom’s voice.
“How are you doing sweets?”
I look over at her; she’s leaning against the door frame, her eyebrows raised. I tell her, “Curious about what you didn’t say to me earlier if we’re being honest.”
“You saw that, huh?” She scrunches her nose at me. I move closer to her so she won’t have to be loud. Her hand taps my chest a couple of times, letting out, “I forget how observant you are.”
“Mhm,” I hum back. “So, spill. What is it?”
She lets out a little sigh, “I’m not gonna be able to get through this.” Her eyes welled up almost instantly, “Being in love looks good on you, Sweetheart.”
“Oh?”
She grabs one of my hands and tells me, “I can just see how happy you are when you’re with her.” A tear sneaks out as she looks at me. “I’m just so glad you found someone who loves you the way you deserve.”
Squeezing my hand a few times, “You’ve always been the sweetest of the three of you.” She pauses to look up, trying to stop the tears. “I knew how badly you just wanted to find someone.”
“Mom,” I whisper, wiping her face off gently.
“I'm sorry—I'm just so proud of you. Between the bar and taking care of her, I just feel so lucky to watch the young man that you’ve become.”
My arms wrap around her, rubbing her back a little before mumbling, “Love you.”
“Love you, too.” She whispers before asking, “Why are you hiding in here?”
I lean back, smiling as I tell her, “Wanted to see if something got delivered.”
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As I’m helping run some drinks to people for Josh, I hear Against The Wind by Bob Seger playing throughout the bar. Dropping the fresh drinks off to the table, I turn around to see one of Chuck’s friends about to sit at the bar with an empty seat next to him. He must be waiting for him.
He’s an older gentleman; he definitely looks like he would have been a sailor of sorts. The idea hits me— where is my girlfriend? I think to myself, chuckling at what’s going to happen.
“Char- honey,” I yell to her as I walk over to the table; she’s sitting with Quinn, Willa, and Sam- the usual, but Mom is with them tonight.
Her eyes light up as I get closer, looking up at me, oh god, I’m such an ass. She lets out a quiet “Hi.”
Sliding into the booth next to her, my arm pulling her close to me. I point to the man, whispering to her, “Remember how I told you about the Old Port Pirate?”
“Shut up,” her hand flew up to cover her mouth. “Babe, you actually weren’t lying?”
I just shake my head, “Do you hear what’s playing right now?”
Looking at me with wide eyes, her jaw drops when she realizes, “Oh my god, it’s Bob.”
She’s so cute, wow. I quietly laugh before letting out, “And you didn’t believe me.” Shaking my head subtly, she will probably kill me if she finds out that he isn’t actually the pirate.
She leans close, kissing my cheek; the feeling of her lips on me still makes my heart skip. Her face lingers close to mine for a second, and she quietly says, “I’m sorry, baby. I won’t doubt you anymore.”
She can never find out.
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Glancing around the table, my mom has Sam and Willa entirely focused on whatever she’s telling them about, and Quinn has disappeared to the bar to talk to Josh. I steal a sip of Char’s drink, realizing it’s practically just water at this point, but before I get up, I have to tease her a little bit. If she thought I didn’t catch some of the little things she wrote down, she is sorely mistaken.
“So, I did see in your little notes that you think my ass is,” I pause to clear my throat dramatically, “Cute enough to take a bite out of?”
“The heart wants what it wants,” she breathes out, a soft smile forming. Her hand reached up to fix a piece of my hair that was flopped to the wrong side.
I lean in closer to her, whispering, “If you wanted to eat my ass, honey— all you had to do was ask.”
She barks out a laugh, whisper-yelling, “JACOB, WE’RE IN PUBLIC.” Her eyes darted over towards my mom and back to me.
“All I'm saying is communication is important in a relationship, and you already know I won’t say no to you,” I tell her, shooting her a wink as I stand up from the booth. “I’ll get you a fresh drink.”
“Wait—“ Her hand catches mine before I can grab her glass, tugging me to her. She gently kisses me, holding my jaw and wiping my lip off after. If she only knew, I literally couldn’t be bothered if she left any sort of lipstick, gloss, whatever on me—but it’s adorable that she does it, so I’ll never tell her. She quietly lets out, “I love you, baby.”
“Mmm, I don’t think I'll ever get tired of hearing that,” I mumble against her lips, kissing her once more before telling her, “I love you.”
I wander behind the bar to grab her some water; she’s been alternating all night, so she “doesn’t feel like dying” tomorrow. Before I can bring it back to her, Mel grabs it from me.
“I’m basically done for the night; I can deliver it for you,” she laughs out.
Glancing over at the time, it is nearly closing time already. I look back over at her, “You can be free. I’ll let Danny go too if you guys want to get home.”
“You’re the best,” she shoots me a little smile, dropping off Char’s water and immediately sliding into the booth with everyone.
I start picking up a little after Josh, which is fine because he has been hustling around for a bit now. But I feel his presence behind me as I’m wiping down some glasses to put back.
“Meant to tell you– I grabbed our mail earlier..” Josh mumbles to me. Quietly, he asks, “Did you buy a ring?”
“Mhm,” I hum back, turning to him.
He glances over at Char before asking, “Is it..?”
I just nod, watching his eyes light up.
Immediately, he tears up, letting out a quiet, “Oh my god—“
“Don’t cry,” I giggle. “I don’t know when it’ll happen; I just wanted to be ready. “
His hands landed on my arms, whispering, “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper back.
He just stares at me for a second, “She really is a good one.”
I look over at her as she hugs our Mom for probably the hundredth time today. Sitting with all our closest friends and family like she’s been here forever. They really took her in so quickly, which, given the situation when we met, was the most incredible thing they could have done. My eyes shift back to Josh, smiling as I tell him, “I think I’ll keep her around.”
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After saying our goodnights to the entire family practically, Char sat in her typical spot at the bar. Even after a year, nothing has changed with how we function. Whenever she comes down here for the weekends, she’ll just sit at the end of the bar if I have to close and pester me the entire time. And I would never ask for anything else.
“Will you make my drink?” She asks, batting her eyelashes at me. Like, I would say no.
“Well,” I glanced over at her, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re in luck; I’m the only option.”
Quickly mixing everything together for her, I bring it over. Carefully setting it in front of her, but not without leaning over the bar to give her a quick kiss.
“The service here is exceptional,” she tells me, laced with a slight laugh.
My eyebrows raise as I tell her, “You’re the only one getting that level of customer service.”
“I’ve seen the way you talk to Eleanor,” she taunts.
My eyes roll at her comment; I point at her as I whisper-yell, “DON'T START WITH ME.” Unable to keep the smirk hidden away.
“I’m not jealous! She was here first,” she says, holding her hands up while giggling away.
“You shouldn’t be jealous.”
“Oh, I’m not at all,” she tells me matter-of-factly. Casually sipping her drink as she looked me up and down.
“Good,” I laugh out, folding my arms across my chest as I watch her. “What’s with that look?”
She waves her hand, making me move closer to her. She so casually whispers, “Just— I love that I’m watching you mix drinks and be silly, but you'll also make it hard to walk tomorrow.”
My head drops, taking a deep breath. This girl's favorite hobby is making me sweat, I swear. “Jesus Christ,” I laugh out. Pulling my wrist up to check my watch, “What time do we close?”
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“Wait right here,” I tell her, quickly walking into my room to grab the gift I got her. Pulling the little bag from my closet and the flowers that I had sitting in water on my nightstand, I make my way back to her, mumbling, “These are for you.”
She pouts her lip, looking at me, “Jacob, you’re so sweet.”
Kissing me before she looks in the bag, a little smile lacing her lips as she realizes. Pulling out the book she’s been eyeing every time we go to the store, with a few little things that I found at her favorite thrift store down here.
“You’re too much,” she lets out quietly, setting everything back in the bag. “Thank you.”
I lean against the counter, and I look at her, quietly letting out, “Josh went to Quinn’s for the night so we could have the apartment to ourselves.”
“Well,” She says, her hands sliding up my chest as she leans into me. “Isn’t that just sweet of him?”
I hum back, letting my arms drape around her hips, “Mhmm.”
“Get to show my baby how much I love him,” she breathes out. Her lips pressed into my throat quickly.
I looked up for a second before asking her, “What has gotten into you?”
“Hopefully, you in a minute,” the sultry tone of her voice made my knees weak.
“Holy shit, hun,” I breathe out. “A bit needy, are we?”
She nods, quickly kissing my jaw before letting out, “I’m sorry, you’re just sooo—” She leans back, the look in her eyes making my heart race.
“Is that right?” I pop my eyebrow at her, watching the goosebumps flood her skin.
“Mhm,” she hums back. Pulling her lip in with her teeth gently before telling me, “Hot enough that I’d eat your ass or whatever.”
My head falls back as I laugh, not expecting her to bring that up. Managing to tell her, “I love you so much.”
“Mmmm, we really should have started saying that sooner,” she pauses to laugh for a second. “Hearing you say that makes you even hotter.”
My hands slide to the backs of her thighs, picking her up and setting her on the counter. Moving in between her legs, but her skirt made it difficult to get close.
“What about when I do this?” I ask quietly, pushing her skirt up so it sits around her hips. Her jaw drops slightly as she looks at me. I can see the way her breathing is already a little heavy. I lean down, kissing her legs, covered with her tights. Gently, I work my way up her thigh until I notice that I can see right through them as I get closer to her hips. I push her legs a little further apart– did she not..?
I can’t stop myself from smiling against her. My hands slide up her legs, lightly letting my fingers rub over her clit through her tights as I look up at her.
“You tryin’ to kill me?” I breathe out. “No panties?”
I watch the pink come up in her cheeks as she bites her lip.
“Lay back for me,” I whisper between kisses against her hip.
As she leans back on the counter, I hold her hips, pulling her to the edge, grabbing at the waistband of her tights, pulling them down her legs quickly. I kiss the inside of her ankle slowly, leaving wet kisses up her thighs until I get too close. Resting my lips against her pubic bone, I slowly smile against her skin, knowing it’ll drive her crazy.
“Jake, please,” she whines. Didn’t take long at all.
I ask quietly, “What do you want?”
Pressing my lips against her clit gently and then just hovering, letting my breath hit her.
“Mmm,” she hums out.
“Oh, you want this?” I taunt her, flattening my tongue against her clit. Lapping at it a few times, pulling a loud moan out of her. My hands still hold her hips as my tongue is practically spelling her name, listening to the sweet sounds that pour out of her. I wrap my lips around her clit for a second, lightly sucking in.
“Baby, oh my god,” she moans out.
I hum into her, sliding my hand up to her chin, glancing up at her, tapping her lip a few times until she opens her mouth. I slide my middle and ring finger in, and she wraps her lips around them. Swirling her tongue around them as she moans from the way my mouth is moving.
One of her hands knitted themselves into my hair, and the other held my arm. I carefully pull my hand back from her when she lets out a louder moan, slipping them right into her. ‘Yes’ and ‘Fuck’ litter the air as I push them into her a few times.
She props herself up, and I stand, leaning in to kiss her and start to pump my fingers faster inside her. She’s holding the back of my neck like it’s her lifeline. Adjusting my arm so my palm is flat against her clit, I curl my fingers up into that spot.
“Jake, oh my god,” She moans into my mouth
I look at her for a second before whispering, “Soak my fingers, honey.”
Immediately feel her hands grip my shirt, and the moans start falling out of her mouth. I can hear how wet she is and the way she’s starting to tense up on me. Leaning down, dragging my tongue along her, feeling her heartbeat. Looking back up at her as she breathes heavily, god, she is beautiful.
“Jake.. baby.. oh.. oh my god, baby..” she mumbles under her breath as she gets closer. Her voice rises as she lets out a loud “Jacob.” That’s my favorite sound.
Standing back up, her eyes flutter shut as she relaxes against me. Her face is lying on my shoulder.
“Come back to me, honey,” I whisper in her ear before kissing her cheek.
She sits back as I pull my hand from her, “I wanna see something,” she whispers, grabbing my hand that was just inside her. Tugging it up, muttering a quiet “Open.”
Sliding my fingers into my own mouth, swirling my tongue around them, tasting her on me. I can feel my cock twitch. I don’t know what she’s doing to me, but it’s working. Her jaw dropped at the sight, and I let out a little groan just to really rile her up.
“God, you’re so sexy, babe.”
I can feel my face warm, giggling at her compliment. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the way she treats me.
“Come on,” I tell her, holding my hands out to help her down. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she swung me around.
“Not so quick, handsome,” She giggles, pushing me gently against the counter. She unbuttons my pants quickly and tugs them down just enough. Her hand pulled my cock from my boxers and slid it into her mouth in one smooth motion.
My hands gently held her head as she moved further down the length of it. Fighting every urge to let my hips thrust into her. The moment her nose barely grazed my stomach, my head fell back. How is she mine? When it starts to feel a little too good, I lightly tap her shoulders. Holding my hands out to help her up, I make her trade spots with me again, her back against my chest as I tuck my face into her.
“Can you bend over for me?” I whisper into her ear. “Need to feel you.”
She eagerly leans onto the counter; I drop down, licking a wide stripe up the center of her one more time, with my hands hooking around her hips so I can grab her ass. Leaving a little kiss against her before standing back up.
I slip into her, letting out a little groan as I do. Even after a year, it still blows my mind how good she feels. Slowly rocking my hips into her, my grip on her hips tightening with every thrust. My hand slipped down, grabbing at her and pulling her back to me quickly.
She moans quietly, “Baby, you feel so good.”
My heart pounds at the sound. I start moving faster, fucking her harder. Listening to all her little sounds as I do. Without thought, my hand moves from her hip, coming down against her asscheek with a loud crack. The moan that came out of her practically made my mouth water but also made my face heat up, and grinned as I leaned down, kissing between her shoulder blades.
“You like that?” I mumble against her.
Letting out a small “Yes.”
“Mmm,” I hum out. “My sweet girl.” Slowing my hips down, tapping her sides gently.
I mutter, “Come with me,” as I’m pulling her into the bedroom.
I unzipped her skirt so it fell to the floor as she unbuttoned my shirt, pushing it off my shoulders. Her hands moved to push my pants down as I grabbed the bottom of her sweater, pulling it over her head. She pushes me back towards the end of my bed, gently pushing me to sit down.
She unclasps her bra, letting it slide down her arms until her tits are on full display. “Fuck me, you’re so hot,” I let out as I watch her toss the bra onto the floor.
She crawls into my lap and slips my cock back into her. Her lips pressed into me as she sat down. Rolling her hips against mine as we made out. My hands just run all over her, taking her in as she makes herself feel good.
When I feel her start to move up, my hands move to hold just under her ass. Helping lift her up, watching her tits bounce as she rides me.
Her hands hold onto my shoulders for support; as she leans in close to my ear, she mumbles, “Baby, your cock is sooo-” My hips jerk up as she tells me, making her moan at the feeling.
My hands still holding tight onto her ass as she rides me. I just take her in as she writhes against me, my grip on her tightening a little. Her eyes meet mine quickly, the way her pupils dilate as she stares at me.
Her sweet voice whispered, “Do it again.”
My eyebrows pull together until her hand reaches down, tapping my wrist a few times, with a devious little smirk on her lips. OH.
She rolls her hips against me a few times when I pull my hand back, bringing it back down against her quickly. The sound mixed with the moan she let out— I could get used to that.
She moans out, “Fuck me, Jake.”
One of my arms wraps around her waist, holding her close to me as I stand up. I lay her down against my pillows, still sitting between her legs; I lean over, grabbing a condom quietly. I know I won’t last long at this point, so I lean down and start dancing my tongue around her clit. Listening to her moans get higher pitched, her hands grabbing at my hair as she gets close. I plunge my fingers back into her, looking up at her when I say, “Tell me how good it is, honey.”
Her jaw drops, and the grip on my hair is strong as I work her through her orgasm; the sound of her voice as she comes makes me weak.
Sitting up on my knees, keeping one hand lightly rubbing her thigh, stroking myself a few times. I slide the condom on as she comes down, just watching her for a minute until she looks back at me.
I slip back into her, leaning down and kissing her slowly. Feeling the way her breathing is still heavy, she lets out a happy little “mmm” against me.
Starting to move my hips, I just look down at her. That’s my girl, my gorgeous girl. My heart starts to race as I take her in when I let out a quiet “I love you.”
Her hands grab my face, pulling me into her. She kisses my top lip gently, the tip of my nose, and lingers her lips against my forehead when she whispers back, “I love you, baby.”
We stay in this slow pace, littering kisses all over. Her hands basically touch any part of me that she can reach, as if she just wants to feel closer. Cradling her head in my hands, I just stare at her as my hips gently rock into her.
God— she’s mine, I think to myself. She’s genuinely the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, and I get to have all of her for myself. My hips start to move faster at the thought.
Leaning down close to her, I tuck my face into her neck, breathing her in. My pace picks up again; she’s mine. The thought makes me smile against her skin.
“Fuck—mmm…” I groan; I can feel my orgasm starting to build. Snapping my hips into her a little harder, “mine” slips out, and my eyes go wide.
Until she whispers back, “Yes baby, I’m all yours.” My heart pounds at the fact she’s encouraging it.
“Say it again,” I tell her, my voice a little louder.
“I’m yours,” she breathes out in a moan.
My eyes roll back a little at the sound, fuck.
“Come on, Jake, show me how much you love me,” she tells me. My breathing starts to pick up, letting out little whimpers when I exhale.
She keeps going; her voice is making everything so much more intense. Whispering, “I know you’re close; let me have it.”
Feeling her legs wrap around me, Fuck— she’s so hot. She holds my face gently, moving me so her lips are just hardly hovering over my ear when she lets out, “Come, baby,” in the sexiest tone I’ve ever heard.
My orgasm hits me like a freight train, moaning out, “Char—“
A minute goes by; she’s just running her hand through my hair, letting me cuddle into her. One of her hands slid down to just gently scratch my back; this is heaven.
“Feel good, babe?” She asks quietly.
I just hum back, “Mmmm.. mhm.”
I can feel her kiss the side of my head a few times, so I lazily kiss her neck. Slowly but surely, I prop myself up to look at her.
“Come with me?”
She giggles, moving the hair out of my face. “Where are we going?”
“I just want to shower real quick,” I tell her, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. My voice gets quiet when I let out, “But.. I want you to be there.”
She leans up, kissing my cheek, “Okay.”
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We both stand there in the shower, letting the warm water hit us. I’m just trying to prevent her from getting her hair wet so she can worry about it in the morning. But being able just to hold her for a few extra minutes was perfect.
She leaned back and looked at me. Her voice was quiet, “Do you want to know when I realized I loved you?”
“Of course,” I say with a small laugh.
She smiles at me, her arms sliding around my neck, “Well, you know the one night that we went out together?”
I laugh before saying, “Hun, we’ve done that a lot in the past year.”
“Oh, true,” she starts, giggling. “When we went on the unspoken date— we were still pretending we didn’t like each other that much.”
“Yes, absolutely,” I laugh with her this time. “I was incredibly obsessed with you at that point, but yes, continue.”
Her face got a little red at my comment, but she finally told me, “When you were singing to me and making me dance with you— all I could think was how I could spend forever watching you just be happy like that.”
“Forever’s a long time,” I whisper, my eyebrows raised at her with a little smile.
She leans in close, whispering back, “Not long enough with you.”
She is my wife; I’ll make sure of it.
After spending a couple of minutes struggling to breathe while we made out, we were finally crawling back into bed. We lay there talking for a bit before she started to fall asleep.
I can’t help but kiss the top of her head as she drifts off, mumbling into her, “I love you so much.”
She looks up at me, her eyelids heavy, mumbling back, “I love you.”
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Thanksgiving Day
Listening to the shower run and the random splashes from her washing her hair, I sneak into Josh’s room. Grabbing the package and quickly opening it. The small velvet box creaks as I open it. An oval cut diamond sparkles back at me, little clusters of diamonds sit on either side, and a dainty gold band. I hope she likes it.
I’ve spent the last year watching her when we’re at stores where there’s jewelry or the occasional glance when I see her scrolling on her phone. She’s never been pushy about anything happening; granted, we just told each other, ‘I love you.’ But she is my little romantic lady, and I’ve watched her zoom in on ring posts, figuring out the things she likes. I can’t wait to call her my wife one day.
I wander back into my room, tucking it behind a few things on the shelf in my closet. Knowing she’s too small to get to it and chuckling to myself at the thought of her trying.
The water shuts off, so I make my way to the bathroom to be a menace. Slowly opening the door, peeking in as she’s wrapping herself up with the towel.
“Shit— I missed it.”
“Sorry, babes,” she sighs. “Gotta move quicker next time.”
“I’ll wait,” I giggle. Watching her rub various products into her face. She keeps peeking over at me as I just lean against the counter. She’s so fucking beautiful.
“Are you really just going to watch me get ready?” She asks through a laugh.
I just nod at her, “What else could I be doing?”
She steps over to me, giving me a kiss with a little grin on her face.
“I’ll make you a deal.”
My eyebrow pops up instantly, “I’m listening.”
“If you bring me a fresh cup of coffee, I’ll drop the towel,” she tells me with a little wink.
My eyes widen at the proposition, and no words come out as I scramble to the kitchen to make her more coffee. I’ve never set up the coffee pot faster.
Practically prancing back to the bathroom with coffee for both of us, holding hers out to her. I’m sure I look like a kid on Christmas, but when your girlfriend is as gorgeous as mine, it’s hard not to be excited.
She takes it from me, sipping on it quickly, “Mmm.. thank you.” She tilts her head back with her lips already in a cute little pout, waiting for a kiss. I set my mug on the counter, cupping her jaw before kissing her. I feel the towel hit my feet, and the smile that creeps onto my face makes it hard to keep kissing her.
“Have I told you that you’re the best?” I giggle against her lips. Backing up a little to take her in, I still get butterflies whenever I look at her. She looks at me through the mirror, my smirk selling me out before I can even ask her, “What if we just ditched my family and you stay like this instead?”
“I think you’d like that a little too much,” she laughs as I wiggle my eyebrows at her. “Plus, your mom would never let you hear the end of it.”
“She already loves you. You don’t have to be on her side, you know?”
“I’m just trying to save you from another sex lecture from her, baby,” she tells me, a shitty little smirk on her lips. I never should have told her about what my mom said; she’s teased me ever since because almost nothing is worse than to have your mom, of all people, talk to you about your sex life, especially as an adult.
“Speaking of,” I start, knowing she’s going to yell at me for what I’m about to say. But it’s a little too fun to get her going. Fighting a smirk as I tell her, “If we sleep there, you’re gonna need to control yourself. I know it might be hard for you—“
“Excuse me?” She cuts me off. “You’re going to look at me right now and tell me that I have no self-control?”
I let out a loud laugh as she stared at me.
“Jake, be so serious,” trying to hold in her laugh, she rolls her eyes at me as she clips her hair up out of her way.
“You’re right,” I tell her. “But, honey,” I move closer to her, sliding my hands around her waist, “How am I supposed to have self-control when you look like this?” Pressing a kiss into her shoulder. Letting my hands wander up, cupping her breasts and letting my thumbs run over her nipples lightly.
Her head leans back against me, “Babe, you’re proving my point,” she whispers. She turns her face, kissing my cheek before looking back into the mirror to finish putting her makeup on. “Let me finish getting ready, and I’ll take care of you later, promise.”
My eyes shoot up, and my hands drop to her hips. I hold them as I meet her stare in the mirror. I can see the red creep into my cheeks as she winks at me.
“Char—“
“You’ll just have to stay quiet for me,” she says, immediately followed by her little giggle.
My head drops back because I know I’m blushing hard at this point, “Oh, shut up.” I slap her ass as I move back to my spot, grabbing my coffee and sipping on it as she laughs at me.
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After watching her eyes light up when she picks out what she wants me to wear. She insisted that we coordinate at least since it’s really the first holiday we’re spending together, and my mom is notorious for taking pictures of everyone throughout the day.
She always looks good, but I can’t stop staring at her as we walk down to the car. In an oversized cream sweater with her tights and boots, she looks precious, especially so when she’s got her hand wrapped around my arm as we walk—opening her door for her and letting her get comfortable. I toss our bag into the back seat as I make my rounds to the driver’s side.
Instinctually, I just hand my phone to her so she can pick music. It’s adorable how she tries to find songs that we both like, even though I don’t think I would question anything she puts on.
Reaching over, she quickly slips her hand into mine. Spending the rest of the drive listening to whatever she picks and the little giggles that come out of her as she scrolls through things on her phone.
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“You ready for the chaos?” I whisper as I throw the car in park.
She’s gotten more used to spending time with everyone, but adding my parents in is a different beast entirely. They all mean well; it’s just a lot of people with loud personalities.
She leans over to kiss me, whispering, “It’ll be fun.”
I grab our stuff from the backseat, and as she comes around, I hold my hand out for her. Carefully walking up the dirt driveway, my parents are always choosing different Airbnbs to stay in, and this one is just in the woods this time. As we get up to the door, I turn around to look at her.
“One more,” I mumble, leaning in to kiss her again. Her little smile against me made everything better. Knocking on the door behind me as I left a few small pecks on her lips. Hearing someone walking towards us, I pull away from her. The last thing I’m going to do is mildly embarrass her right away.
“LOTTIE,” Quinn’s voice made me jump.
They squeal and hug as if they don’t see each other almost every day, if not at least talking. They’ve become incredibly close over the past year, which probably doesn’t help that we’re all in the apartment often enough.
“Which of my babies is that?” My mom’s voice carries from a different room. Waiting for her to come in, knowing exactly what’s going to happen. “Oh my goodness! Don’t you look so cute!” She pulls Char into a hug, and here we go.
“Thank you,” Char’s sweet giggle laced it. “It already smells amazing in here.”
“Oh, you’ll have to come see what I’m baking– actually, I may have you help me if you want,” Mom tells her, her eyebrows raised, knowing that Char isn’t going to say no to baking.
“Ooooo! Yes, please!”
We’ve been here for two minutes, and I’ve already lost her to my mom. This may be record timing.
“Hi, Sweetheart, I didn’t forget about you,” Mom coos as she comes over to me, glancing at my outfit. “She dressed you, didn’t she?”
I just nod, hugging her. Mumbling to her, “Where should I put our bag?”
“Whichever room you want,” she tells me, “I’m just so happy you’re gonna stay the night.” Her hand patted my chest a few times.
I smile at her, “Of course.” She just looks at me, tucking my hair behind my ear before turning back to steal Char away.
Wandering down the hall and choosing one of the rooms to throw our stuff in. Feeling a little insane as I just smile to myself, but every time we do something for the first time like this, it’s like I’m falling in love with her all over again.
“Well, well, well,” Josh’s voice rings from behind me.
I whip my head around, “Surprised you’re not out there with everyone?”
“I was kicked out of the kitchen,” he tells me. “Apparently, they don’t agree with my ‘creative decisions’ or something.” Rolling his eyes as he folds his arms over his chest. “So, I’m going to force you to hang out with me instead.”
“Ahh,” I let out, laughing quietly. “Just like when we were kids.”
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We found ourselves sitting in the living room with our dad as the parade was starting on TV. Just catching up with him until we hear the front door open, knowing that it must be Sam. Listening to our mom holler through the house, “Is that my baby boy?”
Josh and I look at each other from across the couch. He rolls his eyes, and I can’t fight the laugh that comes out.
“I saw that,” our dad mumbles, a small smirk creeping onto his face.
Josh, being who he is, shrugs dramatically and, with a sarcastic tone, lets out, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Both of us giggled like children again.
“You two aren’t as slick as you think,” he laughs. Groaning as he stands up from the couch, he gives my shoulder a squeeze as he walks past.
It only takes a couple of minutes before he comes back to join us again, with Sam in tow this time. Sam plopping down near me, which is probably for the best at the rate this morning is going. Josh would probably be pestering him instantly. Our dad fell back into the spot he already had claimed.
Spending the holiday all together was always nice, mostly because none of us were working, and we obviously didn’t get to see our parents all that often. Typically, Josh would get roped into helping our mom, but I think she’s really living her best life with Quinn, Willa, and Char in there instead. She’s always been outnumbered by us, so now we’ve all been told to keep out.
Getting to spend time with our dad as an adult has been way more fun. He was usually the one in charge of telling us to ‘knock it off’ as kids and having to separate us when we were fighting. But now, we just get to enjoy hanging out with him and seeing him laugh at the stories we tell rather than have to lecture us.
In the midst of a story from him, Quinn walks in, setting a tray of little snacks for us on the coffee table, pointing out one of them to Josh, but I couldn’t hear what they said because Char slid her hand over my chest from behind the couch.
“Thought you might want this,” she says, handing me a hot cup of coffee. My head tilted back against the couch to see her as I carefully stole the mug from her.
I just stare at her for a second, taking in how adorable she looks today, before mumbling back, “Thank you, hun.” She leans down, kissing my forehead before padding back off into the kitchen. My self-control really is low because I absolutely watched her walk away until she was completely out of sight.
“You good over there, bud?” My dad taps my arm, bringing me back to reality as he chuckles to himself.
My face heats up a little, but I just sip my coffee to try to hide it.
“They’re always like that,” Sam chimes in, making a disgusted face at me. I flip him off as I take another sip of my coffee.
“Samantha, I know you’re not talking,” Quinn says, making the rest of us laugh. “Don’t forget, I can hear you and Wills talking when you’re at our apartment.”
His jaw drops slightly, just staring back at them.
“Should I give examples?”
“Nope! I’d rather you didn’t!”
Josh chimes in, “I personally think it’s cute how she has Jake wrapped around her finger.”
Our dad laughs as soon as it comes out, which makes me laugh. He isn’t wrong. Quinn kissed Josh’s cheek before prancing back off to the kitchen.
“Hard not to be,” I mumble into my coffee mug. All I can think of is how she’s just the type of love I need in my life. She’s this incredibly independent woman, so confident in her career, and wildly intelligent— she blows my mind every day. But then she’ll come home to me on the weekends and melt into me, just wanting to be loved and so sweet. Or if I go to her and the bar has been overwhelming, she’s so gentle and takes care of me.
The sound of Sam and Josh cackling brings me back while my dads mutters, “Oh, give him a break.” Probably good that I didn’t hear it.
We all sat around as Dad updated us on how life outside of New England was. Telling us about all the little places they’ve found, their favorite restaurants, and the few friends they’ve finally made.
“That’s great, Dad,” Sam chimes in. It feels like we’re all kids again, just hanging out with him; the thought alone makes my heart swell a little.
“You guys should come visit during the winter,” he tells us. “Get out of the cold for a few days.”
I look over to him, “I’m sure we can plan something.”
Hearing a fit of laughter coming from the other room, we all look at each other in silence.
“That’s a scary sound,” Dad groans quietly, and we all giggle. “Everyone knows a secret about one of us now.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Oh god.”
“No, no, no.”
He throws his head back in laughter, “Figured you boys would have learned at this point. Your mother loves to share secrets with anybody who will listen.”
“Shit,” I let out under my breath. This isn’t the first time she’s been around Charlotte, but I’m usually right next to her, so the secrets have been kept to a minimum. I’m definitely fucked.
Quickly distracted by the sound of little feet walking through the room, Iris runs straight over to Josh when she rounds the corner of the couch. He scoops her up in a hug, her little laugh making all of us smile.
“I should have known that’s where she was going,” Danny’s voice cuts through the laughter, joining Josh and Iris on the other side of the couch.
My dad has always loved him, well— both of my parents do. But he has an open invitation to every holiday that my parents decide to host. I think they like that he has Mel and Iris now, especially since none of their actual children are going to be giving them grandkids anytime soon.
They’re mid-conversation when Sam abruptly jumps up, walks to the hall, and yells, “Mom! Santa is almost here!” Coming back to the couch, our dad shot him a wink.
“Thank you, Sammy,” Mom lets out loudly as she scurries into the room, leaning on the back of the couch behind Dad. Everyone follows her in; Willa is plopping down next to Sam, and Quinn is sitting on the floor below Josh. There she is.
“Hey you,” I whisper as Char sneaks over to me, tucking herself close to me as we watch Mel tell Iris to look for Santa. My arm tugged her as close as I could because I knew I was only getting her for a couple of minutes.
“Is this a thing?” She whispers in my ear.
I nod, turning my face to whisper back. “My mom always makes sure that she comes in to watch Santa show up because we would get so excited when we were little. So now, we always make sure to get her before, and she always cries when he shows up.”
Her little smile when she lets out a little “aw” before looking over to my parents. My mom’s arms are slung around my dad’s neck, and he has one hand covering hers. Her eyes already teared up at just the glimpse of Santa and Mrs Claus, but the tears finally fell when Iris jumped out of Josh’s arms, pointing to the TV.
“Oh, what a sweet little thing,” Mom lets out quietly.
I pull Char’s legs over mine, keeping my hand on her thigh. I want to just keep her to myself now. The urge to keep her trapped only got worse when she leaned her head against me.
Before I knew it, chaos ensued yet again. My mom stole my girlfriend from me, not before I snuck about eighteen “one more” kisses on her— despite being told to get a room.
Somehow, we all got roped into a game, or a handful of rounds, of hide and seek with Iris, proving that we are still just children.
All of us laugh as we run around this house, trying to find places to hide that aren’t too hard for her to figure out. The only downside was dependent on who she found first. Unfortunately, Sam only plays to win, so if she found him first, we were all screwed; he would be holding her on his hip as he did all the leg work for her, making a scene when he’d find us, which made her belly laugh every time.
We spent a few hours entertaining her when my mom finally announced that the food was basically ready. I wander into the kitchen to grab a drink, but I am sidetracked when I sneak behind Charlotte, sliding my arms around her.
“Hi, baby,” she giggles quietly.
I snuggle my face into her neck for a second, whispering, “I’ve missed you all day.”
“I’ll be all yours soon enough.”
I press a kiss to her cheek before letting go, asking, “What do you want to drink? I’ll bring it in there for you.”
A collective ‘aw’ rings through the room, and I can feel my face heat up a little. At least they think it’s cute; I’ve just been bullied all day. I poured some of the wine from the fridge into her and grabbed a glass for myself. Going out of my way to give her a kiss, feeling her grab my ass as I turn to join the rest of the boys. I whipped my head to look at her, and she just smirked at me. She subtly blew me a kiss. She’s lucky she’s cute.
Everyone slowly joins the table, taking turns grabbing food. There are at least fourteen conversations happening at once, but somehow, it’s not overwhelming. Char is sitting to my left, my hand finding comfort on her leg every so often. The conversations varied throughout the meal from everybody focused on Mom telling a story, likely about us as kids or just tapering off into a million different ones. Feeling her hand grab mine once she was done eating, she just mindlessly played with the rings I had on as we sat there.
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After dinner was done, Mom insisted that none of the kids help with dishes but get into comfy clothes so we could watch Christmas movies together. We all say our goodbyes to Danny, Mel, and Iris since they have more families to visit.
I lay on our bed, watching her change into my sweatshirt and some leggings. She looks up at me, giggling as she pulls on some fuzzy socks, “they’re extra comfy,” she told me when she packed them this morning.
“You ready, honey?” I ask as she sits on the bed with me.
She lays back, throws her leg over my hips, and plants a kiss on me. Letting out a quiet “Almost.” She snuggles herself into me for a minute, which I won’t complain about. My hand squeezed her thigh a few times.
“Comfortable?”
She nods her head against me, “I’ve barely seen you today. Feels weird.”
“I’m glad you had fun with my mom, at least.”
She lets out a little laugh, propping herself up on her elbow before telling me, “She told me a little secret about you.”
“Did she?”
Her smile is wide as she stares at me, “Mhmm,” she hums.
“Why do I feel like I know what it is..?” I mumble, squinting my eyes at her.
Her sweet little laugh sneaks out, “Well.. something about you always crying over having to wash your pirate jammies?” Of course.
“Come on, if we don’t get up now, I’m never gonna go,” I tell her, patting her butt a couple of times. Why does she have to tell everybody that?
“Oh, don’t be embarrassed!” She hangs on me as I sit up. “It's cute, baby!”
“Yeah, yeah,” I roll my eyes at her, fighting a smile. “I’m sure she’s ready to spill all my secrets to you.”
Her lips land on my cheek as she giggles at me, her hand holding the other side of my face. She whispers, “I’ll tell you my secrets later if you want.”
Jesus Christ. I can feel my heart rate pick up, quickly spitting out, “Alright, you. Let’s go.”
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We make our way out to the living room, claiming the corner of the couch that I’d been in all morning. I give her the actual corner of the couch and just pull the coffee table closer so I can prop my feet up on there.
It’s not long before everybody else is coming in and getting comfortable. Sam and Willa steal the other corner since his legs are too long to be banished to the end of the couch. My parents sat between us, mom closer to me.
Josh and Quinn curl up together at Char’s feet, just propping cushions up so they don’t squish her. Dad shuts off the big lights, just letting the little lamps try to light up this room.
My mom changed it to The Grinch, and the tradition continued as we all curled up with our own blankets.
I feel Char adjust so she’s cuddled up on my chest, my arm wrapped around her to keep her close. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head without thought. My mom’s hand grazes mine, making me look over at her. She holds my hand for a second as we just stare at each other, giving my hand a few squeezes before she leans into Dad.
And there we all sat, laughing at the movie like we do every year. Finally, feeling complete as the love of my life giggles against me while I’m surrounded by my family. It feels like nothing could get better at the moment until she tilts her head up, kisses my cheek, and whispers, “I love you.”
I glance down at her, giving her a quiet kiss, hoping to not out us to the rest of the room. She just stares up at me, the green of her eyes hardly visible in the dim glow of the TV. But the butterflies still erupt inside me when she looks at me like that. I can’t believe I get to spend forever with her. Slowly blinking at her, I just take her in.
Finally, whispering back, “I love you, honey.”
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Chapter Twenty-Five
FDOG Master Post | Masterlist | Playlist
Sam & Willa : Sparrow Of The Dawn
Josh & Quinn : Amongst The Stars
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
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"anyways id survive in that house" sounds like smth duck would say before dying. again.
NO BUT I COULD DO IT!!!!
not physically of course but mentally? i'm SOLID. i'm autistic, i hate change, i already have memory issues, there's no way that house would get the better of me i'd win for SURE
#youre telling me i can die over and over and i just come back??#no sweat bro just dont worry about it then. be like YEAH im stabbed whatever. weird message about bee conservation.#see you boys back at the HOUSE lol#like i have spent the past 3 years of my life rarely leaving my house and mentally? i was fine. played monopoly with my family. read books.#had a movie night once in a blue moon it was fine had a great time#youre telling me i could do that all the time forever and once in a while i lose my guts or whatever?? i can SO do that#house i COULDN'T survive is like uh. the skinamarink house?? the monster house from monster house?#dhmis house? light WORK#yknow what. not even family. put me in there with two strangers i could totally make it work. im charismatic enough theyd totally like me#im VERY LIKABLE!!!! I COULD SOOO DO IT#GIVE IT ENOUGH TIME THEYD LOVE ME IM POSITIVE#my postings
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i love my brother making me feel increadibly unsafe
#for context! we got reported to cps again last year- dont want to get into it because it was a wile ago and nothing came of it but yknow#and my little brother has diagnosed autism(i might have it but its aperantly too expensive after my little bros diagnosis)#so uh yeah- today i did laundry and he had barely any clothes in the difty clothes and 3 peices total in the clean bin#also just a few days ago he left the bathroom and i could litterally smell him- not as in could smell soap just body odor#and i dont have a problem with that personally! but we got reported first time because of me and him and older bro being dirty#and outside people can have a problem with it and he litterally dosent consistantly take showers at all-#and it bothers the hell out of me- sorry our dad is innatentive so for fucking years ive had to talk to him about this#we were only able to get him to wear deodorant recently for fucks sake! like if you dont mind that cool#but you have to think of others around you- and your actions have fucking affects on others#and im so frustrated. and tired. sorry i dont know how to exagerate this exept this has been a cycle for years.#every few months i notice again him not changing clothes or cleaning at all and ask him to be better and he trys for a bit until#he lets himself go again and i have to tell him off again because hes ugh#im so tired. ive told him for years that me and dad wont be around forever but it never seems to set in. we cant be there to tell him to be#clean once hes on his own. and he cant just get a partner to do it for him because thats ridiculous.#yeah that it- i know it shouldnt matter if hes dirty but it dose to me because everytime he is im scared the cps people will come again#and make it so im forced to be back in the horible horible place i was taken to when i was a kid. and its scarry
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not to keep harping on this but if you HATE shaving your body or any other part of your "beauty routine": stop doing it. just stop doing it, at least for a little while (maybe when you don't have a lot going on if that helps) and HONESTLY gauge how it makes you feel. is this feeling better or worse than the amount of time, stress, and money the routine takes? do YOU actually prefer how you looked before, or are you only worried about what others think? if you stopped doing the routine forever, could you find other ways to feel better about yourself with that energy?
when I was like 19 and the idea of not shaving my legs anymore first occurred to me (bc I had a Cool Progressive Boyfriend that Didn't Care) i just stopped and it was immediately like... a quantifiably large chunk of unnecessary anxiety just sloughed off my life forever. instantaneously I got rid a bunch of effort and stress I had been accepting as normal, and replaced it with more time to do what actually made me feel 'ready' in the morning, like hygiene, coffee, preparing for my activities etc.
and i DONT feel self conscious about body hair personally but even if I did, no amount of shame over hair could outweigh how much easier my life is. not just bc 'shaving annoying' or 'long showers' or whatever, but like. yeah I don't waste as much time getting ready anymore, and I also don't have to realize last minute before some leg-showing event that im unfit for display and have a whole self-esteem plummeting anxiety attack about whether I should rush it unsafely and risk being late, cut up, and stressed out before the event, or go With Hair and feel judged the whole time. i don't have to go through any of those emotions and when anyone does comment on my hair rudely, im in a much healthier place to deal with it and tell them to fuck off rather than validate THEIR fucked up standards by feeling bad.
once I realized I didn't give a shit and neither did anyone I cared about, it also gave me the freedom to cut out a bunch of other shit I was only doing (or Thinking I Should) bc it was what girls Have To Do to be presentable. fuck shaving fuck waxing fuck eyebrow shaping fuck concealer fuck multi step skincare fuck shapewear fuck lip fillers fuck contouring fuck teeth whitening fuck all of it, you do not need to change ANYTHING about how you look Every Single Day.
for those of you about to say "but I like being shaven/wearing makeup/literally pulling hair out of my face painfully every day etc etc etc":
have fun and mod your avatar all you want but for gods sake if you hate it and complain about how long it takes and all the stuff you "have" to buy or do just to "get ready" - you do not have to. you're not just having fun. you are not getting Ready, you are making your mood and experience worse for yourself, which is going to make you feel unready and unprepared for actually being yourself comfortably.
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