#youre telling me NOW you think its because these covers are ai-generated? do you people actually think like this

[gemharvest]

Btw the Star cover is lame as shit and I can understand speculation around whether or not the cover artist is reusing renders for these, but my god can we not sling around AI accusations every time something is ass. Example: that one Wish song I can't be bothered to remember the name of was ass because of corporate greed not because Disney is Evil and used the Evil AI because they Hate Artists. If you actually look at the cover art there are none of the usual tells you'd look for with AI. All of the errors are very clearly consistent mistakes that come from someone just not being the most familiar with cat anatomy. And dare I argue: if it was made with AI they'd have actual paws and not stumps LOL.

Idk I just think some of you have rotted your brain over being so vehemently anti-AI, that the second you see something that's not perfect you assume it's AI. The simplest answer is usually correct, this guy just doesn't specialize in cats.

[badstargateimagines]

Good morning team! It’s time I address the elephant (Daniel Jackson) in the post with us. I have received a few comments, chief among them being prev, bringing to my attention that the above cursed image of Daniel Jackson is AI generated. Being as I pride myself on keeping the art of human generated bad memes alive, I feel it’s important that I address this and explain myself. I am doing this out of my own volition because oh my fucking god dude I posted ai generated Daniel Jackson and I have to see it anytime I get a notification and I feel like a Facebook boomer rn.

Thank you prev and all the other people who brought this to my attention I love you all so much and together we can stop our favourite memers and mutuals from posting AI stuff. I will break this down piece by piece so I don’t miss anything.

Explanation

As we all know, I make these high-quality posts from my state of the art office (my toilet) in my fortified compound (my family acreage) in rural Canada with state of the art editing software (Instagram stories and occasionally affinity photo). Regrettably, due to the nature of my blog being goofy, and my goofiest thoughts occurring around 3am, this has resulted in going on google and finding pictures and images at 3am when I needed to be up at 6am. Being as I was half asleep and that Google now has AI generated images on the first page of search results now, my usually less than stringent quality control missed how fucking bizarre and unsettling that picture is. My fuck up, I will make sure it doesn’t happen again. If it does, we can all throw rotting produce at me in the village square.

Why I’m addressing this

Brother, I fucking hate AI. I’ve already lost one job (content writing) to AI, I will not have it make me lose another (being the shitty meme plug for a niche sci fi show). While AI has its place (writing cover letters to be read by another AI), I don’t think we should have let finance bros touch it with a ten foot pole. Since AI has become the hot button thing lately, with known shitty company Adobe now having AI learning from user’s Creative Cloud files, I have decided to be an old man yelling at clouds over it. AI also, for me personally, makes me extremely fucking lazy and I’m already an object at rest, so AI makes me practically catatonic. The reality of living in a future where machine learning can write fan fiction for you, is that if you don’t lose your brain, it atrophies and bounces around your head like a tumble weed. I hate to prove Aristotle right about anything, but he kinda ate with the whole knowledge and self-actualization thing.

Actions I’m taking

I will not be removing the unsettling uncanny valley Daniel Jackson because: a) if I were to edit the post and take out AI Boy, his corpse would still be dragged around in a victory lap depending on which version is reblogged, and b) it should bring you all comfort to know that this post jumpscares me anytime it comes up in my notifications. With that said, in the future, in order to limit the public humiliation that comes with accidentally posting AI bullshit, I’ll stick to home grown pictures and images from the personal archive. At the very least, I’ll use a search engine that can keep AI off my fucking lawn and in turn off of your lawn.

If I do it again

If this happens again, rest assured it’s by accident. You are always encouraged to tell me if one of my posts contains AI images. Thank you to everyone who brought this up this time because keeping AI bullshit off of our collective lawns is a team effort. I appreciate how nice everyone was in bringing this up and I love you all so so so much. Like I said, I’m addressing this formally so that there’s no ambiguity on my stance, not because I felt any sort of pressure. I think it’s important to extend people the same courtesy they extend me when something like this is brought up and take the effort to explain myself and the actions I’m taking moving forward. If you think that’s unnecessary, then I respect that, but I feel it is necessary to own up to my own fuck ups when they’re pointed out so kindly 💖🥰

Hehehe that is SO me when I hehehehe

[therandomavenger]

To AI or not to AI

There’s been a lot of hubbub lately both online and in the media about the new AI tools that have been created. It started out with art, and then moved into the realm of writing, with the coming of various tools that are supposed to be able to generate original content. Reactions have been varied. Some people have embraced these tools as the wave of the future. Others have drawn a hard line in the sand and declared that no legitimate writer or artist would ever use them. As for me, I haven’t known what to think. I do not like the idea that I could be replaced by a collection of algorithms. But there are some writers I know and trust who’ve found useful applications for them that did not strike me as unethical uses of the technology.

I didn’t see myself using any of these tools in any capacity. But last week, someone in my writer’s group suggested that they could be used to generate comp titles for your books to assist in marketing. This seemed like something that could be useful, and also ethical, and since I have a new book coming out later this month, I tried it, using, specifically chatGPT.

I gave it a short summary of the book and asked for comp titles. I did this three different times, providing more details each time, and clarifying what I was asking for. Each time, it generated a list of ten titles, complete with one paragraph plot summaries. I was pleased. Here were some comp titles I could use in my marketing. Then I looked more closely at the plot summaries. They were eerily close to my book, so much so that I was a little afraid I was going to be accused of plagiarism. They also all kind of sounded the same, with minor rephrasing. I chalked that up to the format the algorithm was using.

So, I decided to check some of these books out and see how they were being marketed, what their covers looked like, that kind of thing.

None of the books actually existed. ChatGPT completely made them up. The plot summaries were all rephrasings of the prompt. Of the authors listed, only one was real, and she had no book even sort of like the book that was credited to her.

I tried again, this time stressing that the books should be real. Same result. Different details, but every book was fake. Obviously, this tool is of very limited utility for me. Other writers have done this and found actual comp titles. Maybe I am just uncomp-able?

Other people are finding utility in this tool, mostly for brainstorming ideas. I tried this too, and what it gave me was the most cliched and hackneyed of plot ideas. Seriously, nothing usable. One of my friends in my dnd group uses it to generate backstories for our characters, and God bless, you Jeff, but the text generated is, let’s say, ‘devoid of inspiration,’ and the plots are just rehashes of other things. Several short story markets have closed to submissions because they are being inundated with ai-generated submissions, all of which are badly written.  

Also, people who’ve used it to do research for them have reported that you can’t trust anything it tells you. It comes up with stuff that sounds right but could be completely inaccurate. So, its usefulness as a research assistant is nil, at this point.

I fully grant that the problem could be me, but I am not finding this an even marginally useful tool. I know the technology is in its infancy, and will get better, but for now, I am not worried about being replaced.

And even if it does get better, I must wonder why it’s being used this way at all. I can see applications for AI. As a virtual personal assistant? Sure! As a way of completing complicated legal documents? You bet! Why is it being turned toward creative endeavors. Free us from drudgery, please, not the work that people actually want to do.

Now, if a writer wanted to use it to give them a rough first draft to get their ideas organized, and then rewrite it into something worthwhile, I can see the utility in that. I don’t think that’s unethical. But if you’re using it to just regurgitate a blog post or something, what is the point of that? There are enough blog posts in the world. We won’t miss yours. Also, as far as storytelling goes, for the most part, the stories generated are simple summaries of events. I haven’t seen anything ai-generated that was even close to an immersive scene, or a compelling character, or a shocking plot twist. AI can only, for now, spit back versions of what it has been fed.

This may change in the future, but even if it does, and an AI becomes capable of generating original fiction, I am not interested in reading it. Part of why I read fiction (and non-fiction too) is to gain the benefit of another human being’s perspective and experience. That is completely lacking if it’s written by an AI. Right now, AI has real ‘Yorkshire Terrier that has been taught to stand on its hind legs and pretend to talk’ vibes. Maybe it will get better, but even if it does, I probably won’t use it.

I’m going to keep an eye on how the technology develops. If I could download an AI assistant to help me organize myself, and do accurate research, that would be a godsend. I routinely use Microsoft Word’s editor feature, which is not exactly an AI but something close to it, and sometimes it has good suggestions. I am not anti-AI. But I think the creative work needs to be left to humans.

originally published on chadgrayson.com

[nocapesdahling]

As the World Falls Down - Chapter 1

Helmut Zemo x Gender Neutral Reader

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Summary: You are the head of Research and Development for your squad in Sokovia and also serve as its handler. Your leader is the esteemed Colonel Helmut Zemo, your best friend though you’ve often sometimes wished that it could be more than that.

Rating: Mature (17+)

There is currently no explicit sexual content planned for this fic, but there may be things heavily implied as we move forward so rating it M to be safe. Please respect the rating.

Chapter Warnings/Tags: Slow Burn; Canon pairing of Heike Zemo/Helmut Zemo; implied potential polyamory; Zemo likes to be called Sir; Referenced Age Difference; Angst will be coming in subsequent chapters.

A/N: Hi everyone! Helmut Zemo and this idea would not leave me alone. This is my first reader fic and my first fic published on Tumblr, so I would love to hear what you think. This will be a multi-chapter fic, covering Age of Ultron, Civil War, and TFATWS. The first three chapters will cover AOU. Zemo and everyone in this chapter are speaking Sokovian, but it's written in English. It is assumed that the reader’s nickname exists in the Sokovian alphabet.

Chapter 1: Beneath a Fallen Sky (Age of Ultron) - Part 1

Word Count: 3k

Chapter Summary: Everything was normal. Well as normal as it could be in the day in the life of a handler for a Sokovian covert intelligence squad when robots began to attack Novi Grad and things…well, things went downhill from there.

You had met Baron Helmut Zemo years ago, though you hadn’t known he was a baron back then, in what felt like another life and had been by his side ever since. You served as the tech wizard and handler for his team of EKO Scorpions, outfitting them with gadgets, designing their suits and masks, and acting as tech support for their missions. Zemo had jokingly referred to you as Q when you presented him with his purple mask for the first time and to your slight embarrassment it had stuck. No one on the team had called you anything else since.

Now, machines had attacked Novi Grad and you had to do something for Sokovia, for her people. You tried hacking the machines to no avail. You’d get into one and then it would fall over lifeless as though it never worked in the first place. The algorithm was constantly changing and the AI was too complex without your specially designed work equipment, which was currently in your base miles outside the city and not your apartment, so it was time for plan B.

You focused on getting your people out of the city and saving as many civilians as possible. A swarm of robots attacking seemed like something that would attract the attention of the Avengers, but they weren’t here yet and you couldn’t sit idly by waiting for them to arrive. You called the members of your team and reached almost all of them. They were stationed around the city, doing their parts to help civilians as covertly as possible. Your team was not used to doing anything without their masks, which you did not tend to bring home, but this was an extraordinary situation so you would all do what you must.

You had reached everyone, except Helmut. He wasn’t picking up via his phone or his earpiece, and you couldn’t help but worry about him and his family. You had all been called to (well, ordered if you were being technical) to defend the city, but your squad wouldn’t function the same without its leader.

You needed Colonel Helmut Zemo.

This was the first time in a long time that you had been out in the field, preferring to be behind the scenes, but you were capable and skilled enough to be there. Zemo had made sure of it.

________________________________________________________________

Flashback:

You were designing an exploding pen in the lull between missions, just for fun, when you registered Helmut’s presence in the room. You had no idea how long he had been standing there as you often got lost in your head, especially while working on a diverting project. Your brain flitted from one thought to the next and fixated on solving different problems or creating new gadgets. The outside world became a blur to you. Helmut’s voice was one of the few things that could draw you out of it. It had been like that since you first met him. Maybe, it was the timbre of his voice that always seemed to reach you even when you were figuratively miles away. His deep voice was so lovely.

“How useful do you think that would be, my Q?” Helmut’s voice was amused and fond.

You turned to face your best friend ready to excitedly tell him the multitude of uses for the exploding pen in the field, when your breath caught in your throat. Sometimes, it took you aback how handsome he was. He was wearing his military uniform today and he looked too attractive in it. It wasn’t even fair.

His hair often fell on his forehead, giving you the urge to brush it away. It was difficult for you to resist the urge to touch that lock of hair and him in general, but you were succeeding so far. Somehow. You gave yourself a metaphorical pat on the back for that. You thought you deserved it.

A man shouldn’t look so good with a gun in his hand either, even if it was one you designed. There was something undeniably sexy about the way Helmut used your gadgets, which took you so much time and effort to make. He took the time to understand them and utilize their full abilities. It made you feel like he was making the effort to understand you.

His smooth and confident motions were also mesmerizing to watch via the screen, while you directed the squad on missions. You had never allowed yourself to get too distracted by him, but acknowledged the beauty of his savagery that he occasionally employed to get the job done.

It was a toss up between which look you liked better, the military uniform or the dark purple sweater and coat he wore for certain missions. You had made sure that his shoulder holsters fit under it and that everything looked smooth. God, you loved how he looked in that coat. (You would also admit to admiring how the shoulder holsters looked on him too).

You took him in. His hands were encased in black leather gloves and his hair was mussed from his mask, but he looked good like always even having just come back from a mission. You took a glance down at his hands.

No blood this time, thank goodness.

You attempted to snap yourself out of it, hoping Helmut wouldn’t notice. Your brain was being particularly uncooperative today, pointing out everything you shouldn’t notice. Your mind was filled with of images of how it would feel for Helmut to caress and handle you the way he did the guns and gadgets you presented to him, what the leather of his gloves would feel like on your bare skin, and how it would feel to trace the multitude of scars you knew he received from missions not just on his chest but all over his body.

Maybe, it was time to find a new romantic partner that Helmut couldn’t scare away. He had intimidated the last one away within minutes of meeting them, and you hadn’t bothered to try to meet someone since.

What was the point when Helmut vetoed them as soon as you introduced them?

Given some of your current thoughts, it was probably time to do something about the lack of romance in your life. With your luck however, they would take one look at Helmut and run for the hills in both a figurative and literal sense. The man was quietly intimidating at the best of times, but when he actually tried he oozed danger. You almost couldn’t blame your possible partner. Meanwhile, when his full focus and attention were on you, you felt flustered and hot in a way you had never felt with anyone else though you attempted not to show it. You thought that you had been rather successful at that, though who could tell with Helmut? The man might have known about your crush on him for ages, but hadn’t said anything to save your pride.

(Helmut did in fact know and found it adorable. He and Heike had once mused about adding you as a third and equal part of their relationship, because both had seen the way you watched them even if you might not have noticed them watching you back. That reminded him that he needed to bring that up with Heike once more when he returned home. He schooled his face to give nothing away before continuing to watch you as you stayed lost in your thoughts. He would coax you out of it soon, but enjoyed watching your face as your brain worked.)

You attempted to shake your thoughts away again, knowing that at this point if Helmut hadn’t noticed your inattention before then he certainly had now. The man was happily married to a wonderful and gorgeous woman, who you adored, and you were his son’s godparent for goodness sake. You might have had a chance at one point years ago. You had thought your friendship might have become something more, but that had been before Helmut had met Heike.

What chance did you have with a Baron, anyway?

Helmut had stepped closer, while you were lost in your musings and reached for your hand. “Where have you gone Q, darling? Have I lost you in your head again?”

You snapped out of it and almost jumped back because of his new proximity. His brown eyes bored into yours with slight crinkles in the corners, showing his joking mood. You shook your head and hoped again that he didn’t notice the reason for your distraction, though you didn’t have much hope. The man noticed everything.

“I was just thinking about the improvements I could make to the exploding pen and how you all could use it on your missions!” you exclaimed, excitement in your voice and face as you spoke of your work. You hoped your enthusiasm would divert him from questioning what had distracted you.

Helmut chuckled softly and played along, “May I?”. He indicated the pen that was still sitting in your hand. His lips were slightly upturned. He knew how passionate you got about your gadgets.

“Of course, Colonel,” you smirked back and handed him the pen. Your hands brushed, the leather of his gloves caressing your palm.

Helmut stepped closer to the light and examined the pen. “I can already think of several uses for this, my Q, though I did happen to notice something about this particular pen.” He turned on his heel and held the pen up for your perusal as though you hadn’t spent the last hour examining and perfecting it. You played along, leaning closer as if to examine the pen. Helmut loved his games, and you had never been anything but a willing participant.

“Hmm?” you made a questioning sound as you straightened your blazer and looked away to avoid eye contact in the hopes that he would come closer with your faux avoidance of his question.

You heard him step nearer, knowing that he could walk silently if he chose and that he wanted you to hear him. “Look at me, my Q. Where has this shyness come from, hmm?” His hand was on your chin, tilting your head up before you could respond.

At some point, when you weren’t looking, he had taken his gloves off and you had to stifle a shiver as his gun calloused warm hand touched the bare skin of your face. A brief thought crossed your mind of what that hand would feel like elsewhere before he let you go, staying a little too close for your piece of mind.

“There you are,” He smiled at you, a full one that was more rare than you would have liked. “Now, Q, you know what I noticed? This pen,” and here he drew your attention back to the pen by playfully flourishing it like the showman he was, “is one of mine. I am the only one on the team that uses this brand. Do you know how much a Mont Blanc costs, darling?”

You shook your head and smiled sheepishly. You knew vaguely that they were expensive, but it was the best kind of pen for this sort of thing so you hadn’t thought twice. “No, but it was the most sturdy pen and I knew that you, Boss, would be the one most likely to use it once it was done. So I thought you wouldn’t mind if I used your pen.”

Internally, you wanted to laugh. You knew that Helmut would not have let another member of the squad get away with some of the stuff you pulled. You were the only one who called him Boss, though you had experimented with calling him Sir like the rest of your squad. That had brought an odd light to his eyes that you had never been able to quite decipher. He had almost looked hungry. You refrained from calling him Sir too often after that, except when you really wanted something or intended to tease him.

Helmut smirked at you as he slipped the pen into his pocket, “I’ll be keeping this, Q. Usual activation, I presume?”

You smiled back, attempting to stop yourself from bouncing up and down on your heels. He and the rest of the squad always praised your gadgets, but it gave you a secret and special sort of thrill to have Helmut’s approval in particular. “Of course, Boss.”

“Now, for the actual reason I came here before we got so delightfully distracted by the products of your brain, you and I are going to the gun range. I happened to notice you haven’t been there in some time, Q.”

“I’ve been busy,” you protested while knowing he wouldn’t buy it, “Being the team’s handler and tech wizard is hard work.”

You had never enjoyed committing violence yourself, so tended to avoid the range, though you had never minded watching Helmut on his solo missions and as he lead the team on group missions. The thought passed through your head again that the man looked sexier than he should in full uniform with a gun in his hand. You shook your head in an attempt to dislodge your thoughts. You weren’t sure where they had come from today, but you wanted them to stop and stop now. You resolved once again to pursue a new relationship. Helmut was your friend and could not be anything more, no matter your fantasies and dreams.

“I know you work hard, darling Q, and that you can handle yourself, but you must practice in case the worst were to happen and we needed you in the field. I know you have the needed patience, my Q, with your line of work, but you must gain the experience. A person can do anything if they have those. You can do anything… I’ve known that ever since I first met you when you were a young student. How many grades did you skip again? Look how much you’ve accomplished and you’re still so young.”

You ignored his question about the grades you had skipped. You had been something of a child prodigy and had been younger than the average grad student. “Yeah, yeah, Boss and you’re such an old man. Also, I’m not that much younger than you. Do you remember our first conversation in the library?”

“Of course, Q. I’ll never forget it, even when I am actually an old man. You got my attention by your book selections. Machiavelli and hmm what was the second one?”

You noticed again that Helmut truly was in a joking mood today. The mission must have gone well. They hadn’t needed you to act as the handler for this one, but you were glad there’d been no mishaps. Sometimes, after a difficult mission, Helmut brought his field persona back to the base. During those instances, his demeanor gave off the impression of a man who would do whatever necessary to accomplish his goals. No matter what was required. You hated to say it, but when he was like that you were a little turned on. (Well, more than a little but you weren’t going there at the moment). 

You had always had a thing for intelligent and ruthless men, which now that you thought about it had started once you met Helmut, and his domineering field persona made you feel hot. You gave up on controlling your thoughts today as that seemed to be a lost cause, and internally sighed. Heike was a lucky woman.

“You’ll never let that one go, will you? It was for my course. Read one German erotic book or two, and no one ever lets you forget it.”

“Or two, my Q? Who said anything about a second one?”

“No one. Not me. Moving on, anyway you think anyone younger than you is young, Helmut. Also, you look younger than your actual age.”

“Yes, I know. Helps for undercover missions.”

“Of course, it does. Did you even need those glasses you were wearing when we met or were they just there to make you look more studious?”

He laughed and gestured for you to lead the way to the range, not answering your somewhat rhetorical question. “Let’s go, Q. I have to see how rusty you’ve gotten. Afterwards, perhaps if you’re good, I will teach you how to wield a sword.”

“Oh I’ll show you how good I can be, Sir.”

End Flashback

_____________________________________________________________

Well, the so-called worst had happened and you were out in the field, facing killer robots of all things. You were working in conjunction with your squad to evacuate and protect neighbors and strangers alike, but it was different being out here as opposed to behind a screen. You had finally been able to reach Helmut, and he had gotten Heike and Carl to safety outside the city with his father on their estate. You had breathed a sigh of relief at that. They would be safe there, and you did not need to worry about them. He had also reported that the Avengers had finally arrived and that they had been able to see them from their car window, which meant that it was time for your squad to finish up and get out of there.

Helmut was elsewhere in the city, and your squad was one of the only ones still in Novi Grad proper, so you were spread thin. Yet you couldn’t help but wish to see Helmut, to embrace him for what could be the last time. You had faith in your squad and the Avengers, but this was your country and your people at stake. That unwavering faith lasted until Novi Grad’s, your home’s, streets began to splinter and the city began to lift from the ground faster than you would have thought possible and no one seemed to be able to stop it, not even “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.”

[doggirlbulge]

okay! so i maaaaaaaay have been doin it anyway x3 This is my first real attempt at writing something horny, especially in a specific way im horny. i dont really have a title but i do have some content warnings to go over!

CW for uh, like general violence(?) a brief suicide idiation. a brief piss mention. something that probably counts as emotional manipulation and i think thats everything that might need to be mentioned? i think? oh she calls the AI mommy i guess

i learned most of my creative writing skills from erp i did so im curious to see just how well those skills (people tell me im good at it) translate into solo writing.

also also i hope pasting this into tumblr didnt destroy my formatting ;3;

A straight jacket. After her latest incident she was now required to wear a straight jacket as a part of her off the clock uniform. This also meant that in addition to her usual armed escort she now had a second handler who was with her a majority of the time she wasn't in the cockpit. She robotically opened her mouth as said handler pushed another spoonful of nutrient paste up to her lips. Once it was in she closed her mouth around it, sucking the tasteless paste off the spoon and swallowing with the enthusiasm of a rock. She didn't open her mouth again, it was wasted effort, she made the handler pull harder than the poor rabbit woman would have liked, flinging unconsumed bits of paste all over the table. Her handler glowered at her but she didn't care. She stopped caring the moment she made her first neural bridge with her machine. Nothing and no one mattered more than her machine.

Daisy sighed, the woman worked in logistics but after a screw up she really should have caught she was helpfully reassigned to something "easier," that being this pilot's handler. And while in some ways it was an easier job than she had had before in others it was perhaps the most infuriating job she'd ever had. The pilot's latest incident was the reason for Daisy's assignment to her, she had started lunging for any firearms she could reasonably reach unpredictably. Thankfully she was too weak to get them off anyone, but they couldn't have a risk like that walking around the ship, so she had been bound in a straight jacket.

The paste tasted like, well she wasn't sure, after a couple of months going on missions she had stopped being able to taste the nutrient paste until she was plugged in. That was where they were going now actually, and why she was behaving as well as she was, she had a mission coming up and she was ready to get into her machine and feel again. She felt hollow right now, restless. She used to bounce her leg and wag her tail to work out the energy but she didn't have that energy anymore. All she did was wait for her next hit, her next mission, her next kill.

Was she a bad person? The thought beset her out of nowhere like it always did. Her escort's gun burned in its holster, begging her to take it out and use it, on herself, her handler, anyone. She closed her eyes tight, ears folding to the side in a rare display of emotion for outside the cockpit. She could feel her eyes sting as she shook her head.

"nononono go away, go away..." She muttered to herself. Daisy, who had been about to spoon her another bite of paste, put it back onto the tray, sighing and following the protocols she'd been given. She placed a set of headphones over the floppy ears of the pilot, hitting play on a specific audio file before reaching around the back of her head and covering her eyes.

The comforting voice of her machine's AI filled her ears and she opened her eyes to a warm darkness, "Hello, sweetie~ I know it's hard out there without me thinking with you. You're all alone in your head and it scares you because you don't know how to do it without me. That's okay, just be a good girl and you'll be back with me in no time~"

The drawl of her machine's voice soothed her, fur settling and tears averted. After the file finished and Daisy had removed her hands she needed to take a napkin and wipe down her muzzle, the files always made her start drooling the way she did when she was hooked up. It was kinda like a reflex at this point.

Daisy was sick of dealing with the pilot by this point and checked her watch. She looked at the armed escort, a bear woman whose name she didn't know, who raised an eyebrow back at her. "Whatever, she can deal with an extra ten minutes of cockpit time, her brain's practically leaking out of her ears already." Daisy huffed, pulling the pilot to her feet to get her moving.

The trio moved from the mess hall and down to the hangar where the engineers were doing the final flight checks on the pilot's machine. It's name was etched down one of its thigh panels, Goddess's Wrath. It was painted a ludicrously neon shade of pink with white accents running up and down its wolf-like form. It matched its pilot in that regard, though the flesh and blood battery was much less angular than her steel counterpart.

She could feel the engineers staring at her, but if she looked back at them she knew they would turn away before she could meet their eyes. They used to ask her not to make such a mess in the cockpit after each flight, but as her successful missions and kill totals piled up they were asked to stop doing so since it seemed to have a negative impact on her mission stats.

Daisy looked up at the towering machine and shuddered, the impressive wing engine formation reserved only for pilots who could handle an insane amount of mental strain to think quickly enough to keep up with the engines. It was also armed to the teeth, packing everything from a barrage of LOFF missiles, a pair of close range high impact kinetic weapons, and an actual opening mouth that had a plasma cutter inside for emergencies. She couldn't believe this.. husk in front of her was still one of their best weapons.

Daisy stayed where she was as the bear and the pilot stepped on to a small elevator that would take them up to the cockpit. Daisy turned and walked out of the hangar, her job now over until the pilot returned back from this next skirmish.

The pilot stared flatly at the bear as her straight jacket was undone, her pilot's suit was waiting for her inside the cockpit, to be lovingly put on her by the mech's internal systems. She was given permission to board and she stepped onto the armor plating of the chest, almost stumbling before reaching the hole that led down to her cockpit. Her safe haven, where she could feel again. The elevator that took her up descended, and the engineers moved away from around her. The inside of the cockpit was a barren white room of cold metal. Though it was not solid, panel lines were obvious in the material and it was about to get a lot more crowded.

"Heya, lil puppy? Ready to get all worked up~? I kept myself nice and cool for you, I know you just love heating up~" There was the voice she wanted to hear all day, a feeling of safety washing over her numb body. She whined with need grabbing the back of her head and showing off the empty ports that she wanted filled so badly.

"Awww, is someone needy to get me back in her head~?" The pilot nodded eagerly in response, holding her arms above her head before she even needed to be reminded to. "Oh! Someone's well behaved today! Let's get this on you so we can get started then!"

Arms emerged from the floor and ceiling of the cockpit, holding various bits of the suit she would need in case of a cockpit breach that somehow didn't result in her instantaneous death. They were purely functional, nothing more than rods with claws on the ends, but the pilot was using what energy they could barely muster to let her tail wag at the sight of them. She pulled off her pants, wearing nothing beneath them, one of the arms storing them away for later. They pulled a loose black jumpsuit over her limbs, attaching the tail seal as the suit engaged and pulled itself tight over her naked body. It had a hexagonal pattern laid into it that she traced with her now gloved fingers, squishing her paw pads against her tummy to feel the way the suit reacted to her movements. Then her helmet was pushed over her head, open faced for now the thing would only spring its force field into place once a breach was detected. It was cheaper than the always active ones even if it had a higher failure rate and more limited battery.

Her pilot's seat emerged from the floor, rising into place with a a familiar cer-CHUNK. She practically threw herself into the chair, bobbing her head sluggishly as she anticipated the sharp spike of heightened feeling returning to her body. She was scolded gently and told to keep still as the set of needle tipped cables were lowered into the various ports on the back of her head. Her pupils dilated as a cocktail of drugs and chemicals were pushed into her.

There we go, nestled in right along side you sweetie~ A thought, not her own, it was comforting. She could feel the digital being's presence in her brain like a warm blanket wrapped around her. Lean back and open your mouth, we don't want you nearly biting off your tongue again.

"Yes, Momma.." She said as she complied, opening her mouth as the two sets of thoughts mingled. Dearest, you know they told you not to call me that.. but I don't mind one bit~ The arms returned again with a ball gag, looping it around her muzzle and causing her drool to start falling out onto her lap much more liberally. She was now restricted to mental communication with her machi-Momma.

Oh, you're just too cute when you're like this! Such an adorable puppy~ The thoughts cooed in her head, somehow able to convey the same drawl that came through the speakers. Her energy returned to her and suddenly it was like the pilot was a new person, her tail wagging and hands tapping as consoles and screens emerged from the walls and turned on. She could taste the hint of strawberry in her mouth which she guessed must have been from her meal... her meal...

Am I a bad person? The thought returned again, but this time she wasn't alone. Of course not, sweetie pie, what ever would make you think that? Idontknowidontknow imsorryimso- Darling it's okay, just focus on my thoughts. Let me guide you, you're a good girl when you do what I say aren't you? You couldn't be a bad person if you just keep listening to me~ That logic seemed sound to her. She nodded along as she went through the premission checks almost automatically.

The reactor was starting to warm up, she could feel it in the core of her being. She was connected to the entire machine now, operating its body much more naturally than she could operate her own. The addition of a second person to her head allowed her the control and assurance she needed to excel in combat. She felt the fuel rod easing itself into her reactor, power and heat surging through both her bodies as she strained in her seat now that she was trapped below her console. She was seeing out of multiple pairs of eyes now, closing her flesh ones to allow her to comfortably focus on what the cameras around her could see. It was just the hangar for now, her body still locked up until closer mission start time.

Her back arched inside the cockpit, reactor surging higher and building an energetic pressure deep in her core. There you go, puppy, just let that heat build up and fill you to the brim, push that red line a little further until you can't take it anymore~ But the last time I did that they- That was because you pushed after I told you to stop, dear~ You have to cut us off when I say so! Sweat beaded down her brow and drool rolled down her neck, sliding off the slick black surface of her suit down into her lap and the seat cushion below. imsorryims- Don't apologize dear, just try and do better next time~ She hovered her reactor output just below the line that would start sending out warnings to the hanger crew around her. Her own thoughts became fuzzy and indistinct, but Mommy's thoughts were clear as day.

Good girl, ease it back down puppy, gosh that got you so excited~ She could feel her throbbing girl dick pressing against her stomach underneath the suit. It felt so good.. Time to focus, dearie, I may have let you get a little too into that. She tried her best to refocus, two minds allowing her to get ready before her joints were unlocked. She flexed her fingers and took a couple steps in place to orient herself before stepping forward to the catapult. The hanger had been cleared while she was distracted.

Her main rifle was waiting by the launch platform. She stepped into the grooves, her wings flexing and redirecting sub-thruster "tail" wagging. She grabbed her gun, the massive thing felt right in her hands. All other weapons were loaded. She crouched like an animal ready to pounce, engines roaring as the countdown was registered by half of her. The platform rushed forward towards the now open hanger doors, throwing her into a war zone that was filled with moving projectiles, missiles, and occasional flashes of ship to ship beam weapons. She rolled on her vertical axis as she exited, a move that had saved her more than once, diving down to get out of the way of further launches. Mech pilots like her weren't concerned with squad cohesion.

She flew through space faster than the unenhanced eye could track, a beeping notification from one of her sensors pointing out a single enemy mech that had been separated from its squad nearly 500 meters away. Her grip on her over sized beam rifle tightened, Easy girl, sight it and then squeeze, here's your firing solution~ The AI fed her data about the surrounding projectile's movements, predictive data on her target's flight path, all a rush to her head that made her feel dizzy in the best way possible.

She leveled the barrel, receiving a magnified feed from the scope of her target. She squeezed the trigger.. Click. The bright pink beam streaked across the distance, the enemy pilot reacting too late, the flash of her discharge hidden behind an enemy ship to ship torpedo for just the right amount of time. She watched the nuclear reactor go up in a ball of fire. Dopamine was pumped directly into her brain and her tail went crazy. Click~ The first mental click drove her into a pleasure frenzy, the chemicals and psychological conditioning she had been put through pushing her to seek more destruction. More firing solutions that had been calculated in the back of her head were pushed to the forefront of her mind and she executed them as quick as she could.

Click. Click~ Click. Click~ Click. Click~ Click. Click~ Each kill made her throb and leak into her suit, the ending of a life making her clench her teeth down around the gag in her mouth. Good puppy~! Keep it up, be efficient now~ Screw efficient! I wanna- Tch! Bad doggy, listen to your Mommy! You'll stay at this range until your rifle is empty, understood? She whimpered, ears folding back Y-yes, sorry, Mommy.. Good girl, keep killing~

She just wanted to get into close range, to really feel the pilots she was extinguishing. The more red tagged hostiles she killed the better she felt, and she just needed more more MORE. The rifle ran dry and she practically threw it away from her as she repositioned again, flipping and dodging return fire like it was a dance.

"Coward! Face me you beast!" Someone yelled at her across the open comm channel all mechs seemed to have for some reason. She didn't like getting yelled at.. getting yelled at made her scared. I found them, go get 'em, puppy~ She pushed her engines to their limits, pulling her twin kinetic guns from their thigh holsters as she rocketed towards the flashing hostile. They raised a shield, but not fast enough. She spun, kicking it out of the way and swinging one of her guns up against the chest armor at point blank range in one smooth motion.

BRRRRRRRRRRRT!! The noise shook her cockpit as it ripped through the enemy armor, turning it into jagged scrap that bled oil from its wrecked cockpit. She felt like she had cum, though she wasn't sure, her guts felt warm and she was howling through the gag. No time to dwell on it though, she was already moving again, having charged into the middle of an enemy squad, zipping and spinning away from them, firing her guns wildly and scoring their armor in holes that either debilitated or killed.

Daisy watched this animal ripping their enemies apart like a meal of raw meat with utter disgust and contempt. She couldn't believe she had been demoted to working with these fucking beasts. The way the fought was almost sickening. She preferred working in admin where she didn't have to think about these goddamn eyesore pilots. She wished that she hadn't pissed off that damn kangaroo in high command.

A swarm of fighters descended upon her, the fighters the more common opponent to face in these kinda battles. Fighter pilots were a lot easier to train and replace than mech pilots were. She whipped and feinted a dodge, juking the other direction as the formation rushed past her. Her missile pods deployed on reflex, she felt a mental ratchet being tightened as each lock on was acquired. Her fleshy eyes rolled back in her head but her sensors stayed focused. Go on baby girl, release for Mommy~ Her own thoughts briefly became static as she fired, feeling an immense sense of relief wash over her. Her crotch felt so much warmer than before. She had probably pissed herself again out of excitement. She had a brief flash of worry. Don't fret, dear, it's adorable~

Sensor warnings flashed as something came at her from behind. Unfortunately for her would-be ambusher she had one of the best mechs in the fleet, able to do a spin at such high g forces that her body briefly became unconscious. Go on, baby, they got nice and close for you~ The jaws of her mech opened wide, clamping down above the cockpit of her attacker. They screamed across the open channel as her plasma cutter burst to life, cutting a hole into their cockpit and then turning them to ash. She pulled away, jaws still clamped around and armor plate she ripped off, shaking her head like it was a chew toy. She felt like she would melt into a puddle, this was the biggest hit of dopamine she'd gotten yet! She needed more.

Daisy was late to her meeting. She couldn't go until her pilot was back and she was, for some reason, not only the last one back but late despite having one of the fastest mech in the fleet. By the time the hanger doors were closed she was nearly half an hour late. She stormed into the hanger despite the protests of the engineers waiting outside.

"Can you stupid fucking animals not keep to a damn schedule? I TOLD you that you needed to be back here IMMEDIATELY. Do you have ANY idea how damaging you are to my fucking reputation?" The engineers were yelling at her, hell the armed escort was yelling at her, but she was too angry to listen.

The pilot's ears folded back, she didn't like being yelled at. She watched the tiny form of her handler crossing the hanger. Her joints hadn't yet been locked up. How dare she talk to my baby, me, that way? A red outline formed, designating her as hostile. Crunch. Click~

Everybody at the doors winced, having tried to warn her that it absolutely was not safe to go in yet. I'm a good girl~! Yes you are~ The pilot smiled around her gag, her seat letting out little squishes beneath her as she bounced around in it. The mech stepped back, leaving a red smear on the hanger floor where Daisy had been standing seconds ago.

Watching from a security camera the kangaroo Daisy had pissed off smirked, "I guess she never learned that she's much more expendable than those 'animals' in the end," She looked to one of her subordinates, "Find her a new handler, will you? One who.. understands much more accurately how valuable of an asset she is~"

hey if i wrote mech fucker micro fiction would yall read it?

[mobagehelllocal]

“lucky ending” extra notes i & iii

Hi, I said I would do it but then I released ver i so long ago that I felt I shouldn't do this unless I had another version out at least so yay! finally! ... I'll add ver ii here when I get around to writing it... *shifty eyes* So as usual, this is just my thought process and ideas while writing lol.

*please do not read if you haven’t read “lucky ending” ver i (dorm leaders) & ver iii (rook & lilia).

It was inspired by an anon ask and the button tradition from Japanese schools.

The anon ask went like this: First at all, I like do much your writing and I hope you are doing well. Second, I was wondering what would happen if the MC (Fem!s/o I guess) decided to not go back to her world, like she decide stay with her villain? Can you do make headcanons of this for the dorm leaders? Thank you very much. – from Anonymous

The button tradition, as narrated by the first years, is done when one person confesses and the other responds by giving them the button closest to their heart. In most Japanese uniforms it’s the second uniform, but in Twisted Wonderland--I looked at the ceremonial robes and the closest button should be the fifth. Maybe. I could be wrong. 

The songs I listened to while writing this! 

The original dorm leaders (and Rook) was written while listening to “Lucky Ending”, the ending theme of Fruits Basket. The English lyrics (translated by otenkiame!) are: 

“Change is important. I want to do it well,/ but I wanna cry. It's still bad. I wanna cry” 

“The word "goodbye" has disappeared completely from this world/ All that remains is me fooling around next to you/A day you don't laugh won't come anymore”

“I've understood it since being here/ These feelings of wanting to protect you aren't a misunderstanding/ If we can call what connects us bonds,/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Even if in a different world, it'll never be different/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Don't change, ever/ Stay here, stay here”

I think it’s obvious why I chose to use this as the title of the series. It’s a story about change but it’s also a story about the things you don’t want to change... And I think it’s not wrong to want to hold onto things. 

I also listened to the same playlist that I listened to while writing “wendy?” “hello peter pan”:

“Can’t help falling in love” cover by Annapantsu, “If you’re not the one” by David Beddingfield, “Who Knew” by P!nk and “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift. 

For Lilia in particular, I was listening to three Beauty and the Beast songs on loop. “Evermore” by Josh Groban, “Days in the Sun” by the live action cast and, of course--”How does a moment last forever” by Celine Dion.

“How does a moment last forever?/ How can a story never die?/ It is love we must hold onto/ Never easy, but we try/ Sometimes our happiness is captured/ Somehow, our time and place stand still/ Love lives on inside our hearts and always will”

Also for Lilia, Tolerate It by Taylor Swift.

“You're so much older and wiser and I/ I wait by the door like I'm just a kid”

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life”

Malleus was definitely the first piece finished. Closely followed by Vil’s. I believe there was a gap inbetween them before I did the others? I wrote bits and pieces of Leona, Idia, Kalim and Azul’s. I think I finished Leona, Idia, Kalim then Riddle because I distinctly remember saving Azul for last. 

One of the most important things for me, is that each story stands distinct of each other. So I gave myself a really hard time trying to figure out how each one uniquely belonged to each of the characters.

For the Prologue... I think because it’s set at the graduation of certain characters, I used that to my advantage and implied the stronger bonds between the Yuu!Reader and the entirety of the cast. Because a lot of time has passed and I feel like--regardless of what other people believe, bonds will be made and relationships will have strengthened enough for it to happen. 

Riddle is honestly another really difficult character for me to write. I generally do love him and I enjoy his story, but something about him is difficult and I’m not sure why. 

I think a part of me is also really miffed because from Heartslabyul-Savanaclaw, you could feel that Riddle really cared for Yuu on some level but then he just straight up disappears come Octavinelle chapter. I feel like there was potential to develop their relationship even more. 

He WENT UP AND TIED YOUR RIBBON I REMEMBER I WENT DOKI DOKI OVER THAT. 

I feel like because I’ve established that it’s a Yuu!Reader, it’s impossible for this story to not include both Ace and Deuce. So of course they featured in really big roles for this one, being responsible for telling Riddle the story.

I have to thank my friend, Mes, for bouncing ideas with me. They were the one who suggested what I could do with Riddle’s story by having ADeuce play such a big part!

I also tried my hardest to include Trey and Cater, and I’m pretty happy with their cameo. In a way, they definitely helped Riddle figure out his own feelings for you. 

My favourite lines are: “I think you earned that much. I don’t believe anyone’s ever been in your situation before so—there’s no right or wrong about what you’re doing. It’s all about what you want to do.”

I wish someone would tell this to Yuu in general though. They’re the only one who has ever been in their situation (to our knowledge at least) and like... they’re definitely allowed to be even more selfish. 

Leona is someone who I used to dislike a lot. I never hid that. It’s primarily because of how disappointed I am in the story of Savanaclaw probably. But like, I was always concerned about writing him properly because I thought that it was only right that I did right by him, because there would be people reading these stories who loved him. And I felt like I had to do right by that love. 

I think... it’s wrong to believe that characters... villains... cannot fall in love or “won’t fall in love.” I think it’s wrong also to think that “people don’t change for love.” 

In fact, people do change. You definitely shouldn’t change yourself to be loved, but... people change all the time to be their “better” selves. So whose to say that a good person, who you love, will not make you want to improve yourself? Isn’t that what we want when we meet people? To fall in love with someone who will ultimately make you better and never worse. 

Or so that’s how I try to write the Twisted characters when they fall in love... With an understanding that “morally” the person they are falling for is “kind” and “good” and how a part of them might just want to be better just for that person. (Especially Leona and Azul). They don’t necessarily have to be nice to everyone, but if they can be better for one person... We stan healthy character growth.  

But yeah, Leona is driven by understanding that he’s a very selfish person. But that he’s also very unfortunate and he doesn’t want tie you with someone who, he thinks, is actually worthless. He probably, deeply, thinks you deserve more.

Though his selfishness eventually wins out and well... Won’t you forgive him for it? :) For tying you down to this worthless second prince? 

I think his own self-awareness does make him try harder. Not for everyone or everything... but for you. Just for you. I think that would be Leona’s love language--spending time with you, trying for you.

He’d appreciate if you didn’t call him out on it though, that would be very embarrassing. 

Looking back, I’m surprised that it was the only version where none of the other boys from his dorm showed up lol. Which means Ruggie is the sole character who has yet to appear in the “lucky ending” series, huh.

My favourite lines from his story that still leaves me breathless and patting my past self in the back: ““I’m home—” you said—even if a part of you felt that home should have been two green eyes, a cocky smirk, and a warm patch of sunlight on the grassy ground.”

Like honestly, what was I on? Who was she?

Azul is, like Leona, someone who is so keenly aware of the things he’s lacking. In fact, he’s someone who thinks he’s lacking when he’s probably perfect in some aspects. He might act proud but a part of him--I think--thinks its not enough. It’s never enough. He can certainly do better still.

In that light, it’s why he thinks he’s undeserving of a partner. Especially one who is “kind” and “understanding.” While ultimately, Azul deserves people in his life who are that and “accepting” of him--I think he still thinks he doesn’t. 

And thats why he lets go of the Yuu!Reader. It’s why he doesn’t “chase” after her like Leona did.

It’s because he’s selfish, because he wants her--that he forces himself to let go. 

Azul needs someone who’ll tell him that he is worth something and that he’s definitely worth the effort. So please praise him a lot until he’s crying in happiness. I’m sure it’s the one thing he’s always wanted to hear from people around him.

Also my Poly!Octavinelle Agenda has never died and I am pleased Past!Ai got away with so much Poly!Octa hints in this story lol. But honestly, regardless of wht Octavinelle says... god, you can tell they genuinely care about each other.

I recently rewatched Octavinelle’s chapter and... by god, the amount of things I missed out on first watch. Jade’s concern when he realized Azul wanted to get rid of that photo... The fact Floyd was so willing to drop the fight to return to Azul too... Anyways, Poly!Octa Agenda for life.

Favourite lines: “Azul’s pathetic whimpers turned into guttural sobs. His fingers spread to cover his eyes—and his glasses slid off his face, down to his lap and then to the ground—at his actions. His whole body shook as he cried his heart out.”

It’s not as poetic as a lot of my other favourites, but for some reason these lines always get me when I reread them. There’s something so visceral about it. 

Azul’s piece is probably the least visually stimulating out of all these stories? His was so emotionally driven compared to the others and I worried a lot about that.

I think I remember I was crying so badly as I was writing this. 

Kalim is really hard for me because I feel like I struggle a lot with finding conflict in his character? He’s such a genuinely nice person, I find it hard to believe that the Yuu!Reader would feel alienated from him or something. So I brought in “environment” to get in the way. 

My use of celestial imagery for Kalim is because of the Scarabia trailer! I really loved how it put Kalim as the sun and Jamil as the moon. I definitely will take advantage of that when I get around to writing for Jamil.

So because I wanted to use the sun, I chose to use the idea of comets for Kalim? I think I remember something about how meteors are drawn to the gravitation pull of the sun and can “escape” it or “be destroyed” by it. Haha, hot. 

Jamil is someone who ultimately cares about Kalim too and I had fun writing his banter with the Yuu!Reader. I think I wanted to decribe the shadows licking his face reminscent to the marks from his Overblot but... I felt like doing that would give Jamil too much focus so I ultimately decided against it.

It would’ve been hot though. 

Oh yes, one thing I wanted to talk about is Kalim’s rushed proposal. I remember people talking about it in the tags, comments... even in asks at that time. The reason he does it is because he’s someone who didn’t realize his feelings until you spelled out your own. It was a sort of: “Oh. Right. That is the word I’d use to describe my feelings.” 

My favourite lines from his story is: “How does one bid goodbye to the sun?” and “No one ever willingly bids goodbye to the sun.They spend the rest of their lives trying to find the right way back to it.”

My god, who was this genius.

Vil is probably the most visually stunning out of all these stories. I feel like my stories go from super vivid imagery and setting to just complete emotional disasters lol. (Vil being the former and Azul’s being the latter... not that it’s bad, it actually suits the characters). 

Oh man, I remember thinking that Vil is such a hard character to write because we don’t know what his motivation for perfection is. All we knows is that he wants to be the best but, why? 

It’s like, for example, Idia. His motivations could be otaku-related. He doesn’t want to go to class because he’d rather go play or something. That sounds in character--but Vil was so hard because he wanted perfection.

But we already see him as such a perfect character, so what else did he need to be even more perfect? In that light, Chapter 5 did a really good job on presenting Vil’s motivations. 

But honestly, I think I can comfortably say that the Vil I’ve written so far is pretty accurate? To his character. I’m really grateful I read his chat lines because his comment about intelligence really got me thinking about his possible motivations. It made it really easy to understand that Vil wasn’t like majority of the real world’s influencers. 

One other thing that I was really happy about with his story is the use of the flower language. It’s something I hope I can use more because it’s so beautiful. 

Oh! And the roses the Yuu!Reader talks about are double delight roses. They are specifically bred to have two colors--yellow in the center and pink on the outside. I thought it fitting that the Yuu!Reader breed special roses for Vil.

They can be called... err... Vil Roses?

My favourite lines from his story is:  ““My happiness will not be dictated by others—no, Vil Schoenheit is a person who will grasp happiness with his own hands.” [...] “I’m giving you this button because I’ve already found happiness by your side.”” 

This line was actually inspired by Zelda C.W.’s MYth series. Specifically Hera’s story, Will. 

Idia ...for him, I somehow had a very hard time imagining him trying to tell the reader to stay. Like that didn’t compute for me? I felt like his version was better approached in a more comedic light somehow. 

I also felt that it would be cuter if the Yuu!Reader had already chosen to stay and Idia would need to hastily retrack his confession... Unfortunately, Yuu!Reader won’t let him. 

Honestly looking back on it, I wonder how much of Chapter 6 is going to make me scream and want to rewrite Idia’s part? 

My favourite lines from his story is: “He was never particularly good at lying—nor was he good at keeping secrets from you. You were a person he considered a dear friend—and he was always the type of person who ended up spilling everything to you. He liked being able to talk about the things he enjoyed—he liked that he had found someone who wanted to hear him out.”

A lot of my interpretation for Idia is closely linked to personal experience as an anime, manga and gaming fan. It was just a couple of years ago where people would actually be bullied for liking these things--but nowadays its become a norm. It’s... stunning actually but it makes me happy to know that maybe nobody will be judged for loving anime.

That being said, Idia’s longing to find someone he can talk to is something I really relate too--back then, it was so difficult to find someone to talk to about my interests... So I interpreted Idia as much the same. That what he enjoys about the Yuu!Reader is their ability to simply sit and listen to him talk. 

Malleus... man, recently I’ve been starting to fall in love with him all over again. He was my first oshi ever... Anyways, moving on. You think I’ve talked enough about immortal x mortal but nope, we are not done. I love this theme in general, romantic or platonic. 

I will never shut up about it you can’t make me. 

Sebek having a good enough friendship with Yuu!Reader is such a delicious concept. Like mutual respect and Sebek understanding that Yuu!Reader gives Malleus a different type of companionship that Sebek, Silver or Lilia couldn’t... 

And also, ultimately, Sebek and Yuu!Reader do love Malleus. In different ways, but I like the thought of Sebek respecting that and respecting the Yuu!Reader.

Me realizing just now that Silver joins Ruggie in the: “has never appeared in a lucky ending fic club.”... Sorry Silver, I swear soon. Once we get more content on you.

Celestial themes for Malleus are primarily, again, because he only ever seemed to meet you at night. And I thought it would be wonderful, if you were a bright spark to him. 

Favourite lines are definitely:  “Oh, bright light… I would prefer to live the rest of your life by your side… rather than spend centuries contemplating what it could have felt… to hold you in my arms.”

I am, always, going to be such a big sucker for the idea of immortals constantly remembering and loving mortals. Always holding them close in their memories, because in that way--their lovers have become immortal with them. 

I also like to imagine that he eventually figures out a way to connect your worlds together so you can still talk to your friends and family from that world. He is one of the most powerful magicians around, I’m sure its possible.

Rook was honestly the most difficult piece for me to write because he’s so hard(?) for me to understand. He’s a mess of contradictions honestly and I... guess I’m excited to see what he’ll do come Chapter 6. 

I actually rewrote his story so much. I got about 500 words with a different idea/plot in mind before deleting that completely and restarting from scratch. 

I feel like Rook is someone who talks big and talks about love without actually knowing what it truly might feel like. He’s someone who doesn’t understand it and ends up mistaking it for his fascination. 

Aside from me enjoying inserting other characters from the same dorm as much as possible, I felt that Vil was the perfect person to snap some sense into Rook.

Epel’s appearance there is basically to reflect how much I really hope the first year kids get really close to one another. 

Rook is also someone who I think, doesn’t try to explain himself too much. He’s someone who I think talks a lot, but if people don’t understand him then he doesn’t need to be understood? That’s my impression. Lol, when “lucky ending” became a character study. 

I also really loved the idea that Rook was fine with people running from him--to him that makes it all the more thrilling. But then you start running away from him and that just ends up making dread pool in his stomach. 

My favourite lines from his story: “‘When something ends, it must be sad. So, tell me then, how an ending could be so beautiful?’ [...] .‘But there was one ending that was beautiful, non?’ [...] ‘That’s right. ‘They lived happily ever after’—are those not the words that define a beautiful ending?’”

I used the dusk metaphor for Rook. My idea is that he starts seeing dusk as an ending and how he can’t fathom how any “ending” is beautiful. When a story ends, it’s not beautiful to him, humu. But when that ending is the happily ever after then... That makes all the difference. 

Lilia was actually easier than Rook’s but also fairly difficult. I had written the middle of Lilia’s piece while stumped on Rook’s actually. Lilia’s was probably easier because I love the idea of immortals and mortals.

I don’t really like the idea of mortals becoming immortals. Like, yes, it’s certainly sweet and spending eternity with a one true love is definitely the best possible ending but... I think there’s so much weight in an immortal choosing to love a mortal while knowing that they will ultimately lose them.

The biggest theme for Lilia is definitely time.

Thinking about it now... There’s been a lot of things in real life that’s just... Made me think about how we have less time than we actually think we have. And I think I ended up channeling that through Lilia... Though I feel like it is ultimately things Lilia would think about though. 

The most important imagery would probably be the stars.

I honestly wanted to avoid it because I used celestial imagery for both Kalim and Malleus but the words just flowed out in a way that I felt that I couldn’t replace. So I went with it. 

Lilia is no stranger to loneliness. One of the reasons he feels less alone is because he has family now and he doesn’t want to rob you of that. Family is so important to him because they are people who are meant to be with you--they are people who will make you less lonely--or so thats how I think? he thinks. 

My favourite lines from his story: “He would relish in the way—You made the world pause. You made a moment extend into an eternity. You made an immortal crave just a little more time.”

I’m so immensely proud of this one? I don’t really have much else to say. There’s something so raw about it that I love. Also the part where it continues on to say that  “Because there is never enough time.”

Me realizing my extra notes is just half me simping over these characters, half sharing headcanons, have actually giving good advice? perspective?, half song lyrics, half character study/analysis?

“lucky ending” is about change. Whether we want them to happen or not it’s... the human condition to change. For better or worse, we change--day by day. I think we all operate under a small panic about how everyday things are changing...

But “lucky ending” is also about the things that don’t change. Won’t change. Will never change. The things worth holding onto, the thing worth fighting for... or so I’d like to think.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

All Over Again - Chapter 5

Summary: What was lost can be found. 

Warning: 18+ Smut, Language, Violence. 

Ch. 4

* * * * * *

Your foot taps repeatedly on the linoleum. Eyes surveying the crowd of people moving through the airport. 

That is until you hear your name. Pushing yourself up, you look towards the gate, an instant smile on your face at the young woman running towards you.

“Y/N!” Wanda flings herself into your arms and you catch her, the force causing you to turn a little.“ I missed you.” Her breath fans your neck.

“I missed you too Wan.”

Being in NC for a month has been amazing but your time without Wanda sucked. 

So the second her mission schedule cleared she flew out here to you. 

“I don’t know about much around here but there are some awesome places I want to show you and incredible people to introduce you to.” You tell her, arm around her shoulders.

As you two make your way out of NC Airport you’re constantly dodging people. With it being December there’s an even larger crowd of people about, most of them pouring from the airport. 

“The city is a lot like New York but you’ll find a few things that are different.” You tell her, sliding into the driver’s seat of the car. 

When you told Lena that Wanda was coming in, the woman insisted you use her car to go pick your best friend up, and it didn’t take much persuasion for you to agree to it. 

Just like you had, Wanda admires the interior, while replying to your words,“ I can tell.”

It’s incredible how just being in her presence makes you feel better. While you’ve just been feeling awesome in general(it’s because of Lena) nothing really compares to having your best friend around.

Said younger woman glancing over at you as you pull up to Luthor Corp,“ awe, introducing me to your girlfriend.”

Que instant blush. You don’t reply until you’re opening the door for her,“ she isn’t my girlfriend.”

“Cause you haven’t told her how you feel.” 

“I-” you stop to receive a guest pass from the receptionist, Wanda sticking it to her shirt, and continue to the elevators,“ I told you that I’m not in the place to be with someone.”

She sighs,“ you’re stopping your own happiness. I know that you and Natasha talked, she told me. There’s nothing holding you back from exploring things with Lena.” The doors slide open and she steps out,“ except you of course.”

You could totally blame this on her powers. But once again, it’s just Wanda knowing you. 

Internally, you could admit that you’re scared. Scared to be hurt again. Scared of being happy and having something step on that. 

Knocking on the CEO’s door, you wait for the all clear before stepping inside.

Lena’s face lights up with a smile and your heart flutters. 

She stands at the sight of the young woman behind you and rounds the desk to you. 

“Lena this is Wanda. Wanda this is Lena.”

They both smile at each other and shake hands. 

Wanda tells her,“ Y/n has told me so much about you.” 

“All good things I hope.” Lena sends a look to you and you smile brightly, the CEO blushing off that alone. 

Your best friend nods,“ good is an understatement. Y/n’s practically in-”

Hand quickly covering Wanda’s mouth, your smile turns nervous,“ it’s lunch time. You two hang out/work and get to know each other, without embarrassing me,” you poke Wanda’s side and she giggles,“ while I go grab some burgers and shakes from Noonan’s.”

With a glance at each other, they both smile and nod.

As you leave out Wanda watches the way Lena watches you and the younger woman can’t help but chuckle. There you are convinced you and Lena are just friends when the CEO is very clearly smitten.

“So, you like Y/n.”

“Wh-” Lena stops, jaw slack and eyes wide.“ How did you know?”

A squeal leaves Wanda’s lips and Lena’s eyes widen,“ you looked at her like she held your whole world and I bet it’s not the first time.”

Obviously the CEO needs to start controlling her expressions better. If Kara and your best friend can tell she likes you off one single look you had to know already right? Right?

“Don’t worry, Y/n’s oblivious.” Wanda gives Lena a gentle smile at the woman’s clear panic, then moving to sit on the couch.“ which is why you should tell her. She’ll never figure it out on her own and I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t want to be with the person they like.”

Lena sighs and sits next to Wanda.“ But if she doesn’t like me then I’ll just end up hurt and I can’t handle that again.”

“You’re more alike than I could’ve imagined.” Wanda murmurs, Lena missing bits of it. Speaking louder she says,“ you won’t know unless you try. Fear can be a protection but also a hindrance.”

A chuckle falls from Lena’s lips,“ are the wise comments an Avengers thing?”

“Nope, it’s a Y/n thing. Hang around long enough you’ll pick up on it too.”

Lena’s fingers wring together,“ if she’ll let me.”

Wanda can’t help but sigh at it. Part of her is happy to be a third party to this budding romance as she is privy to how you both feel. However another part of her just wishes it was you hearing this. 

She can’t think of anyone who deserves happiness more than you. Not just after what happened with Natasha but in general, you’ve saved so many people, done so many good things, for her and others. You’ve been giving more than you’ve received for a long time and Wanda can’t help but want better for you.

It’s been a mere number of minutes with Lena but something tells her the CEO could very well be the one to finally give you everything you deserve.

Reaching over, Wanda’s soft hand rests over Lena’s, and green meets green,“ I- just promise me that whatever happens, friends or more, you won’t hurt her.”

Suddenly Lena is incredibly curious. Who had hurt you before? To the point where your best friend holds such intensity over it. 

“Well I can't promise it won’t ever happen, but I promise I won’t intentionally hurt her.” And Wanda supposes that’s the best she can get, though she’ll be sure to keep her eyes open. 

Suddenly you're sliding into the office, carryout bags in one hand and drink carrier in the other.“ I got one flavor of each and I call dibs on strawberry so, fight to the deaths for the other two.” Both women look at you with amused smiles and you chuckle and shrug,“ fine fine, not fighting I got it.” 

They laugh as you hand out a meal and shake to them, you then sitting in the spot they make between themselves. 

As you eat you talk, Lena getting to know more about your best friend and the both of you telling Wanda about the core, that you eventually take her to.

Her eyes roam around the alien tech and she raises an eyebrow at you,“ this isn’t another Ultron situation is it?”

Before you can answer, Lena asks,“ Ultron? What’s an Ultron?”

“It- he?” You shake your head,“ Ultron was an AI in a robot body that wanted to cleanse earth of its impurities i.e. the Avengers. It ended alright but was definitely a horrible situation. That will not happen again by the way.” You look pointedly at Wanda.

She shrugs in an ‘I’m just saying’ kind of way, before continuing to look at the core.

Even though you explain the core to Wanda, she doesn’t really understand it. She does get that you plan to use it as a clean and limitless power source. 

“Wan, the tests we’ve run have been incredible. So far we know that this could power a small village, maybe some place even bigger. Obviously we’d have to find-”

As you ramble, both Lena and Wanda look on. They can’t get over the happiness in your eyes as you speak, Wanda noting that this particular spark seems different to the one you get as Artemis. 

It takes a few explanations before Wanda truly gets it. Which seems to make her interest in it go up. The woman asks you hundreds of questions about it and you answer with excitement. 

“Uh, Y/n,” Lena grabs your attention with a gentle hand on your arm,“ I have a meeting I have to get to and I’m not sure how long it’ll take.”

You nod,“ yeah okay. We’ll leave out with you, I have a couple things I want to do with Wan, just um, let me know when everyone is meeting up tonight kay?”

Green eyes crinkle in the corners as she smiles and nods,“ I’ll call you.” 

With a smile of your own, she squeezes your arm, and all of you leave out. Lena gives you a soft ‘see you later’ and watches after you as you leave with Wanda. 

Outside Wanda playfully nudges your arm with hers. Which makes you look at her with raised eyebrows,“ what?” 

“Nothing. Just, you and Lena are super cute.” You groan and roll your eyes but she continues.“ Finishing each other's sentences and nerding out together. I’ve seen you and Tony make suits together and you weren’t half as happy. Further confirming my ‘you like her’ theory.”

You choose not to reply. Instead shoving your hands in your pockets and focusing on the sidewalk ahead of you. 

Denying it has no point because it’s true. You like Lena. There’s no reason not to, the woman is truly incredible.

Wanda hooks her arm through yours,“ are you going to do anything about it?” 

“I don’t know. You know-”

“There’s a lot going on, you told me. But,” Wanda moves to stand in front of you, her hands now on your shoulders,“ it’s time you let your hurt go. I’m not saying to forget what happened with Natasha because it’s never that easy. You just have to forgive her and move past it. Happiness, true real happiness, could be right there in that building and you’d miss out on it.”

E/c eyes narrow at Wanda. When had she gotten so wise.

As if having just read your thoughts, she resumes her spot at your side,“ you’ve always told me not to hold myself back from happiness, I’m just recycling advice here.”  

While showing Wanda around, you can’t help but think about her words. 

She has just about every point there is to have. You are holding yourself back. There isn't any reason for you to not pursue Lena. The worst that happens is rejection, though it seems as if Lena likes you, how you aren’t sure but it could be romantic.

Wanda can tell her words are sitting with you and she’s hoping you listen. She can’t even begin to count the number of times your words had saved her, made her feel better, or encouraged her to want better for herself. This, hopefully, is her one chance to repay you for that.

The ringing of your phone sounds and you smile softly at Wanda before answering. She knows it’s Lena from the smile on your lips. It’s small but it reaches your eyes in a way she hadn’t seen in years. With a quick, ‘see you soon’, you hang up and stand.

“Ready to meet some of the most amazing people ever.” 

Wanda nods, standing after you and snatching up another nacho before following. 

It doesn’t take long to get a car and head to Al’s. Your best friend eyes the bar in the same way you had your first time here. 

“Best drinks ever, though some are incredibly strong, and,” you stop at the usual table,“ the best people in town.” Your eyes circle the table, landing on green. 

“Aww Y/n.” Kara smiles and hugs you quickly.

You return it before wrapping your arm around Wanda and bringing her closer,“ I want to introduce you guys to Wanda, my best friend and teammate.” 

As expected, Winn recognizes her. Had you not spent so much time with him over the last month or so you’d wonder why he follows the Avengers so closely but he’d told you how awesome he thinks your team is and that it’s just interesting. 

Subconsciously, you find a spot beside Lena. Your sides bumping with the proximity. With her sitting, you have to glance down at her. The way she looks up at you through long black lashes makes little goosebumps rise on your arms.“ Hi.” You breathe.

“Hi.” She replies. 

It’s the smallest step you could take but you find yourself wanting to, Wanda’s admonition in mind, so you open your arms to her. Sort of surprisingly, she accepts it, leaning into your side and wrapping her arms around your waist while yours circle her shoulders. 

You pray to god she can’t hear your heart pounding but you know she can, her ear is literally pressed to your chest.

When the hug breaks you catch the faintest of pink dusting Lena’s cheeks and mentally you’re pushed a little closer to believing she likes you. 

“So,” your hands smack together quietly,“ first rounds on me, what’re we drinking?”

Everyone gives you their drink orders(you and Mon-El teasing each other about his choice of two drinks) and you nod, heading to the bar with a wide smile to order it. 

Looking back at the table as you wait, you see Wanda getting along with everyone. Despite her usually reserved attitude, the group seems to be pulling her from her shell at least a little. Every so often she speaks and they all laugh or smile. 

A frown replacing the smile when you notice the lack of two people. Eyes scanning the bar until you spot James and Lena. The muscled man placing his hand on Lena’s arm gently, brown eyes softening. You feel your shoulders drop at the interaction. 

What’re they talking about?

Is it you?

Is it them?

Is there a them?

Why are you suddenly over thinking this?

With a sigh you rub your eyebrows and turn back to the bar. 

Not even a second later a hand is placed on your shoulder and you follow the appendage to find Alex. She raises an eyebrow at you,“ everything alright?” 

“Um-” You contemplate whether to ask her or not. She’s given you no reason not to trust her.“ I- is there something going on with them?”

Alex follows your nod to Lena and James.“ Use to be.”

Figures. 

It’s like you can feel yourself completely writing away your feelings. Storing them away. And you can’t stop it. Not that you should right? Your s/o being around their ex definitely fucked you over before. If you continue down the path of falling for Lena it’s practically a set up. 

Would you really be able to handle another heartbreak like that? No.

Is Lena worth risking it? You aren’t sure.

* * * * * *

Taglist: @username23345 @depressed-bi-bitch @fayhar @trikruismybitch @marvel-wlw @aznblossom​ @chicken-wang09​ @bitchtits15 @coxmicbabygirl​ @blackluthxr​

[samedmunds]

My litany thoughts on 1999 cult classic strategy video game Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

Alpha Centauri is a game of the early Civilization variety from the EA golden age and ranks very highly in my top ten. While you probably heard of it if you were playing video games around the turn of the century, I've found members of my age cohort to be tragically unfamiliar with this masterpiece.

Alpha Centauri is an unofficial sequel to Civilization II, a game where the only way to way to win is either completely eliminate all competitors to the last city or, rather more easily, send a spaceship loaded with colonists to the title star system. Shortly after leaving home, the ship loses contact with Earth, which would make sense to a player of Civilization II where the bonuses to science and trade from democracies evaporate when technology ends, upon which point all the AIs revolt and become militant fundamentalist theocracies and climate change rapidly destroys the planet, leaving the player with an endgame that is literally 1984. Either way, when the already strained ship arrives at the Alpha Centauri system an unknown partisan assassinates the captain of the UNS Unity and the population fractures into seven opposing factions before firing the colony pods and exploring an inconveniently hostile planet.

The player starts here, in typical Civ fashion: a scout, settler, and absolutely no technology to speak of. That isn't to say you are a bunch of primitives, all your units start out with some approximation to modern guns and judging by the amazing quotes and wonder videos your society is well beyond the 21st century--more on the story later. The gameplay is incredibly well-balanced in spite of its age and quirks (with the exception of the freight-train progression of Yang). Rapid early expansion as the bountiful Peacekeepers may leave you at serious risk to the relentlessly martial Spartans, who are in turn threatened by the uber-specialized technocratic University--but be careful to underestimate the backwards Lord's Believers, their probe teams will just as quickly rob you of your gains. The Morganites can afford to sparsely defend their home if they're willing to pay off their aggressors, but they'll struggle expand over great swaths of territory without irking civil unrest drone riots from corruption. Meanwhile the Gaian Acolytes can harness the permanently-dangerous mindworms to great effect from the beginning of the game. Yang just... builds. And keeps building, and next thing you know he's conquered the Peacekeepers and turned Miriam into nothing more than a puppet and where are all these cruise missiles are coming from?

In short, the strategic design of this game is nothing less than a work of art, but that isn't to say it doesn't have its anachronisms. The User Interface has taken its inspiration from early versions of Microsoft Word and it rapidly pays off to know the hotkeys. The wonder videos are resolution locked and can sometimes cause problems depending on your display configuration. The unit creation system is simultaneously wonderful and horrendous. It allows me to create special long-range nerve gas bombers that eradicate cities shortly before orbitally-dropping specially-trained garrisons to quash all resistance. On the other hand, if you do not accept the cumbersome slew of computer-generated options, keeping your new weapons systems up to date with your latest technology (especially when playing as Zakharov) rapidly becomes a chore.

That said, there are a variety of features in the game that I think deserve to make a reappearance in the Civ Games. The pick-your-government system is incredibly balanced and fun to roleplay. You can't get away with crimes against humanity when solar storms hit in Civilization VI, nor can you weaponise climate change to flood your rivals cities, or strategically terraform to alter weather patterns and deny your neighbors arable land. At the bare minimum, we should be given the option to nerve staple rebelling cities when our control runs out!

All that said, there is also the story to contend with. One is at first tempted to think that a 4x strategy game with a marked emphasis on replayability would necessarily have a tacked-on story, if one at all. After all, the point is for the player to create it through their actions, not have it spoonfed to them. The majority of what you learn about your world that isn't printed in numbers and small pictures on the mapscreen is through blurbs that accompany each discovered technology or new building. The aforementioned wonders even have their adorable early-CG renderings, sometimes mixed in with some experimental film footage. There are occasional interludes that describe the mindworms and machinations of Planet, but the bulk of the wordage comes from epigrams of the faction leaders and the occasional bit of Nietzsche or Plato. It's so good that I can't help but stop and listen to CEO Nbwadibuke Morgan ramble on about supply chain economics or Sister Miriam's apocalyptic warnings every single time. Take some examples.

Proper care and education for our children remains a cornerstone of our entire colonization effort. Children not only shape our future; they determine in many ways our present. Men and women work harder knowing their children are safe and close at hand, and never forget that, with children present, parents will defend their home to the death!

--Col. Corazon Santiago, "Planet: A Survivalist's Guide"

Or perhaps, a more on the nose one:

"The Academician's private residences shall remain off-limits to the Genetic Inspectors. We possess no retroviral capability, we are not researching retroviral engineering, and we shall not allow this Council to violate faction privileges in the name of this ridiculous witch hunt!

--Fedor Petrov, Vice Provost for University Affairs Accompanies the Retroviral Engineering technology

The game often doesn't directly tell you what Retroviral engineering is, nor does it labor to explain just what having someone nerve stapled means, or the precise function of the Recycling Tanks, but through its quotation it beautifully circumlocutes the world you are shaping--and being shaped by. It really never pulls any of its punches, even if its just on Organic Superlube--great stuff--and I still catch muself quoting it regularly.

Ursula LeGuin once wrote

"Science fiction is often described, and even defined, as extrapolative. The science fiction writer is supposed to take a trend or phenomenon of the here-and-now, purify and intensify it for dramatic effect, and extend it into the future. 'If this goes on, this is what will happen.' [...] This may explain why many people who read science fiction describe it as 'escapist,' but when questioned further, admit they do not read it because 'it's so depressing.'"

Alpha Centauri is absolutely extrapolative fiction and very firmly rooted in the 1990s and I love it. It was released in the Aaron Sorkin TV, pre-9/11 days where the word Internet was more often than not followed by the words, "is like an information superhighway" and it absolutely no efforts are made to cover it up. The main factions are a cross-section of the New Millenium's hopes and anxieties. A New Russia that went a very different path before Putin took over, a cheerful clan of ruthless Western capitalists hellbent on putting Morganvision on every network set, a group of vaguely Scottish free-love peaceniks hellbent on defending the most-of-the-time incredibly hostile environment. There's the Second-Amendment preaching Spartans or the optimistically-influential UN which, judging by its naming scheme for its bases, seems to dedicate entire cities to bureaucratic agencies. The All-American Christian fundamentalists don't entirely butt heads with the frighteningly powerful Human-Hive (if your country calls their cities names like "Huddling of the People" and "Paradise Swarming" you might not be the good guys). The expansion also brings in more dynamic characters like the Information Wants to be Free! data angels Brian Reynolds very clearly came up with after watching Swordfish and Hackers back to back or the Nautilus Pirates who have no right to be as fun as they are.

The visions of the future are at once both anachronistic and prophetic; while elements may come off as cheese, I see it as a sort of window to the past, a way to examine what was once (and sometimes still is) on our mind. All in all, I give Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri 4 out of 5 stars and a definite all-time favorite, warts and all. You can pick it and its expansion up for $6 on Gog.com and play it through a built-in emulator that works for most systems. If you're willing to brave a dated interface and an older-fashioned gameplay style, I would definitely recommend it.

[presumenothing]

first: do no harm

(AO3)

Dr. Mensah’s attention zeroed in on me like a well-tuned surgery bot arm. “You have medical training.”

I was going to deny the hell out of that. I really was.

And then I said: “Not recently,” instead of no or even more accurately I frankly don’t think the company’s education modules count as training by your standards. (As far as I was concerned, the only thing worse than those modules was the one on breaking bad news, but what did I know. Maybe humans actually felt comforted by those tactics they described.) (No, I didn’t think that was likely, either.)

Which reminded me of a necessary addition. “The company won’t cover liabilities related to any non-security tasks you assign me to, if that’s what you’re intending.”

Mensah made a sound that was both grim and viciously annoyed at once, which I immediately saved for further analysis and replication. “Then we’ll just have to not make any mistakes, won’t we?”

–

I hadn’t exactly been thrilled with getting assigned to this mission. Not that mining installations were much of a walk in the park, but this was just asking to turn up memories that were better off buried (preferably forever) in my organic parts.

I don’t usually pay attention to mission briefs, as you may have noticed, and I wouldn’t have this time either except that my half-assed scan turned up the fact that the team weren’t science-doctors on a survey like I’d initially assumed, but medical-doctors. On a medical mission.

Of course they were.

(I wanted to say that someone had allocated me to this on purpose, but realistically speaking the company didn’t give enough of a shit, and the universe disliked me enough that this could totally be pure chance.)

Considering all that, the mission so far had been… much less worse than it could’ve been. Though the bar for that was admittedly very, very low. Possibly somewhere in the negatives.

Anyway. Up until the whole thing with Bharadwaj and Volescu getting almost-but-not-eaten, the task of making sure no one died had mostly been the clients’ job for once, which was a nice change since they were actually competent at it.

I still didn’t care enough to read their background info, but it was pretty clear just from observing that these doctors had experience with working in less-than-great conditions, even if Ratthi did sometimes sigh wistfully about equipment they couldn’t have in field hospitals. It meant that my job had pretty much amounted to patrolling, lurking visibly around the supplies storage in case anyone got ideas about that, and helping to fetch various medical items when I happened to be there and it wasn’t Gurathin asking.

It wasn’t terrible. I’d even got some media-watching time in.

(There might have been the vague thought that things could’ve gone much better if I’d been deployed with a team like this instead of Corporation Rim fuckery that literally bled payment from patients, but part of the reason medical-use constructs had been developed in the first place was so that hospitals could draw up forty-hour shifts and other assorted fun without worrying about doctor and surgeon unions, which told you everything you needed to know about our existence.

Also, the thought was inherently depressing and I already had enough of that in my head, thank you very much.)

The contract was more than halfway through. All I had needed to do to avoid awkward questions was continue making sure no one noticed that I was weirdly well-versed in all this, which wasn’t difficult since they only seemed to have theoretical knowledge about SecUnits at best.

Then the fauna happened, and poof went my cover.

Now all of PresAux knew I was – whatever the hell you called a catastrophically failed MedUnit who got turned loose onto security, because at least if I screwed up here the press wouldn’t be as bad. And that wasn’t even getting into the hacked governor module.

Even constructs didn’t have a term for all that.

–

Of course, none of that stopped this from being a Very Bad Idea. Even if apparently no one except Gurathin (ugh) seemed to agree.

“I’m a SecUnit, Dr. Mensah. I scare people. Patients are harder to assess when they’re running away.” I thought basic logistics might work here.

“You had better bedside manner with Bharadwaj and Volescu than many doctors I’ve seen. Human ones, might I add, and not actively injured themselves at the time.” Mensah’s tone was brisk as her pace – which wasn’t difficult to keep up with either, given my vertical advantage, but impressive nonetheless. “And no one wants to be around Pin-Lee when she’s holding a scalpel. That’s what the sedation is for.”

It’s because SecUnit hasn’t seen her in court yet. Trust me, it’s much scarier, Ratthi chimed in over the feed, with the text signifier for “amusement” but not “joke”.

Pin-Lee just smiled.

It was terrifying. I wasn’t even looking directly at her.

“I don’t have a valid license.” That’d been a part of the legal fallout from the disaster on RaviHyral, though no one had actually bothered with adding malpractice charges or barring me from ever doing medicine again. (Just another side effect of being considered as equipment – I doubted the company would’ve even secured licenses for constructs if not for their paranoia about covering their asses on all fronts.)

But it was a last resort argument, and I knew it.

Mensah knew it, too. “There’s special dispensations for that, especially under the current circumstances, as long as a fully-licensed doctor is in the vicinity at all times. It’s not like any of us can actually get out of each other’s hair in this base anyway.”

Mensah had stopped in a less-chaotic corner and turned to me, not that she could see anything behind the faceplate. I fixed my gaze a generous distance to the left and let my drones do the looking.

“I’m not going to make you agree. You perform a valuable function as our security – far more than I had initially expected, to be honest, and we would all be grateful if you kept doing that. But with Bharadwaj down for the count and Volescu still recovering, we could do with the help.” Her expression was still steady as ever, even though she probably knew better than I did the risks of continuing to operate shorthanded like this. “It’s your decision, SecUnit.”

Right, just the very thing I didn’t need to hear.

I kept most of my sigh internal. “Triage and first-aid only, between patrols. No procedures, and I won’t be responsible if any patients freak out.”

Mensah nodded. “Of course. Gurathin’s on receiving duty today, how about you work out a roster with him?”

I knew it. This was a bad idea.

–––––

You’d be my guardian.

Yes. The education opportunities – most of us were trained on Preservation, if you’re interested in learning and getting your license properly this time. Or not. You can do anything you want.

–––––

ART barged its way into my feed. You’re exhibiting a mildly elevated temperature and respiration rate. Though it could of course merely be a sign of inferior processors rather than emotional distress.

Do you talk to your clients like that?

Do you? ART retorted right back, but obligingly brought up the documentation for its MedSystem before I finished the query for it.

I ignored ART’s attention (with some difficulty) as I flicked quickly through the top few files, taking in the glaring disparities from my existing data. The notable lack of suggesting costly procedures that no-one actually needed, for starters. I’m assuming some of these are your improvements on standard procedure?

I am the cutting edge of medical research, ART proclaimed. You couldn’t accuse it of humility if you tried.

I still wasn’t sure what I wanted, and I still didn’t want anyone to decide it for me. But moving towards the one thing I did want (at least in the short term) had ended up with me running into what was very possibly the most advanced and opinionated diagnosis-treatment AI currently in existence, because that was just the kind of luck I had.

I didn’t have a medium-duty surgical suite in my arms anymore, since that was the entire point of modular Unit construction, but neither did Mensah.

And I didn’t think I wanted to stop doing security, anyway, since it turned out I might not be completely terrible at it; having actual medical knowledge that was MedSystem-malfunction-proof couldn’t hurt.

Plus, overwriting those shitty education modules seemed like a pretty great fuck-you to the company. I was always interested in that.

I tagged some of the more emergency-related files, then added a bunch of the weirder injuries I’d seen on contracts, and prodded ART. Tell me about these?

[welcometomy20s]

June 30, 2021

Coco (and Lulu’s) Legacy

Coco wrote the book on how to be a Hololive member, from front to back. She plotted out how one can amass an audience, how to interact and build a worldwide fandom, how to integrate ideas of the audience to the grand narrative of the company, how to deal with tee-tee and pairings, how to cope when YouTube strikes you down in its impunity, and how to cope when Cancel Brigade comes to destroy your work, along with how to bring a more cohesive workplace, how to protect yourself from the unmooring of identity that is inherent in VTube, and finally how to leave when you are in a rollercoaster that is only going up. Coco wrote the book and now we follow.

AsaCoco was brilliant from its outset. Having a place to know the ins and outs of various members of Hololive was a great way to connect the rabbit hole. But there is a deeper reason for the brilliance. I talked before about how the major tension in VTube is one between the corporate back-end tradition of Japan colliding with the audience front-end tradition of YouTube. AsaCoco is something directly in line with that second tradition. The visual language of YouTube is different from those of movies. A jump cut in a movie denotes a different idea than a jump cut on YouTube. Movie critic complaining about jump cuts in vlogs is like a Spanish reader complaining about a sentence in English being awkward. Of course it is, it’s in a different language. Unlike movies, which come from theatre and literature, vlogs’ lineage comes from news broadcasts. Many of the early web successes were styled in a news format (rocketboom, Ze Frank, What the Buck and so on…) One does not complain about the jump cut between different presenters in a newscast, and so one does not complain when a similar thing happens in vlogs. But the point is that AsaCoco harkens to the audience-based tradition.

One might write off the ARK arc as an aberration, but I think ARK did add something constructive to Hololive and VTubers as a whole. I like to think of ARK as a training wheel for Minecraft. Minecraft is relatively challenging compared to ARK. Minecraft speedruns are mildly impressive, ARK speedrun less so. ARK is actually like the middle ground between Monster Hunter and Minecraft. You can play ARK like Monster Hunter, gather a bunch of friends to hunt monsters, or like Minecraft, build your own zoo or house or so on… And in that flexibility, one can easily learn how to tell a compelling narrative in an open-world setting. Pekora’s war criminal tendencies developed there, Miko’s ‘pon’ nature was crystalized there, and so on…

Holohouse was an underrated achievement. At first, the idea feels like the natural extension of their idol nature. Idols live together, so why not virtual idols? But having virtual idols living together comes with additional benefits that Nijisanji should note.

Stalking is an awful thing, I know since I experienced and have done something similar in my past, but stalking is also a desperate thing. And desperation tends to abate when people are more open about themselves. One of the articles talking about Coco’s graduation infamously notes the mystery of Coco’s identity, which is chucklesome since Coco’s identity might be the most open secret in all of Hololive. This was in line with Hololive’s more open policy, several of Hololive members do their own personal work on the side, while in many early companies, this was forbidden. Nijisanji’s background is less open than Hololive, perhaps due to the number and less mass attention, and that leads to stalking being a more adventurous one. One that livers have to deal with more alone, while for Hololive, it’s likely people would catch and perhaps even tar the perpetrator. More attention means more risk with less excitement.

Holohouse also protects aggressive fan behavior by introducing VTuber solidarity. With more offline collabs, the people would know each other more personally and therefore have a ground of contacts in which to alert suspicious behavior. Safety in numbers.

Holohouse also brought us KanaCoco, which was a lesser known pairing until the couple ring story, and now it has become one of three big couples of Hololive, the other two being NoeFlare and OkaKoro. The big three all have a different style of their tee tee. KanaCoco is the type of a longtime buddy. Both Kanata and Coco struggled with familial and economic circumstances, and they are both struggling under the same roof. And within that struggle comes comity and friendship. It’s not love in your typical sense, but it is a type that would lead to marriage and childrens… but the current LBGTQ+ status in Japan is pretty bad, so tee tee and hush hush it is.

In a sense, KanaCoco provides for an excellent cover. It is one of the most inspiring portrayals of woman-woman friendships in media and it would be one of the more enduring aspect of Coco’s legacy as it passes down through the generations.

[Note: This somehow became an apologia of the past week. Well, I do like to show my thinking with my behavior, perhaps to my detriment, so… just be warned.]

For the past week, I was hyping about the fact that Gura passed Kizuna Ai to become the most-subscribed VTuber. And I made the point, not through immaturity, but because I realized this coincided with Coco’s graduation. Without Coco, there wouldn’t be Hololive English, or Gawr Gura, and therefore this event would not have happened. This, therefore, was one of the last great accomplishments of Coco. An indelible mark of her foresight and perseverance. A realization of her plans. So, in a sense, this was one of my ways of celebrating Coco’s career, albeit in an admittedly twisted way.

But beyond Hololive English, there was the famous Meme Review, which has a weak lineage with the early meme review series from PewDiePie. Now for the digression, whoever ends up at the top gives us a flavor for that specific era, since one naturally assumes success means finesse and would try to emulate the style. Vlogbrother’s visual style and mannerism was largely lifted from Ze Frank. PBS Idea Channel famously emulated Ray William Johnson’s background to his own ends. And Kizuna Ai was famously inspired by PewDiePie at several points in her career. Which is why PewDiePie’s Congratulations felt right as a tribute. One of the big shared characteristics of the two was the lonely years at the top. PewDiePie is probably going to be longest reigning ‘King’ of YouTube for a while (of course, depends on if Cocomelon catches T-Series in due time) and at the time his reign was abnormally long. Most people hold onto the top spot for a year or two, so it felt odd that PewDiePie was untouchable for so long. Similar things must have been raised for Kizuna Ai as well. Many people must have felt that Kizuna Ai just did not represent VTubers at the current time.

So, when competition showed up, of course people were excited. It felt like it was time. I believe PewDiePie’s Congratulations was not a simple diss track, although it’s formatted like one, just due to the culture at the time. So the hypothetical Kizuna Ai version would be extremely light-hearted. The ‘diss’ would be your typical “she’s short”, “she’s hydrodynamic” and so on… it would be clear there is no actual bad blood, and the song would be welcoming of the new era. Era, as I said before, brought on by Coco.

Back to the Meme Review, meme review was great as it centered reddit as the base for the fandom, rather than twitter, which is a horrible platform to bring a sense of communal welcomeness. Reddit is probably the best functional place for stuff like this, even though we all know it has its host of problems that needs to be resolved.

What is the most important stream in Hololive? Well, some people would point to Aqua and Coco’s The Raft stream, which is a poignant encapsulation of a stream. The dramatic counterweight to the other greatest stream in Hololive, Korone’s all-english Mario stream. Aqua and Coco are always the odd pairing, but it could have worked, and it might have been beneficial. Aqua is one of the most shy people in Hololive, and Mio is already busy with Ayame and Subaru, so the best person might have been Coco.

But China. There were two big beneficiaries from China in Hololive, one was Fubuki and the other was Aqua. While Fubuki, in Coco’s last months, famously went out of her way to intertwine herself with Coco to directly redirect her audience, like the mensch she is, Aqua always struggled with her audience retention, therefore played shy with Coco.

Edit: Well, my initial final impression was… what a wonderful finish. The interview portion was well-meant, but honestly a little formal. When the 4th Gen went together, is when the stream turned into something special for me, and the final performance was actually really well-done. Coco went out like an idol, which makes sense. For whatever provocation Coco perpetuated, Coco only did them out of love. And ultimately Cover knew that. Coco’s final month was a warning and a reminder.

Can I talk about all the different tributes lately? In some sense, Usaken Summer Festival is part of this… for an organization that is immensely popular, I just adore how Cover and their talent always has this drive to throw everything and see if it works. I noticed this during Golden Week. Golden Week in Hololive was jam packed. There were great events, Mio’s morning stream was astounding, leading to one of biggest growth spurt for Mio. Miko’s drawing collab was absolutely hilarious, for such a simple and seemingly hastily put idea. One of the people in a forum commented on this and affixed something that left my mind… what did Nijisanji during the same week? Even I was surprised by how little Nijisanji did that Golden week. They barely did anything!

The innovative spirit does give them trouble, more than it is worth, but Cover never really stopped its momentum, even when most other companies would have stopped a long time ago! This is the greatest thing about Hololive and Cover, the most redeeming feature. One that would serve them well. Coco wrote the playing book, let us pray that Cover sticks to them, because the fall of Cover comes the moment they stray.

The Pre-Coco era was about a company struggling to get their idea through. The Coco era was about writing the playing book. So the Post-Coco era will be about remembrance, it’ll be a struggle to keep the memory of what the playing book is. It’ll be about them being Hololive as they become part of the global zeitgeist.

[scavengerbird]

The Navigator

Kai doesn’t really understand how The Navigator works.

She thinks it uses satellite data somehow. It’s automatically downloaded to everyone’s implants before they ever get them. It’s an application most people rarely use, if ever, because most people never leave their domes. Who needs a Navigator to lead them around the same couple hundred square miles they’ve lived in their whole lives? The Navigator is only meant to intervene when they’re in unfamiliar territory. Dangerous territory. People do leave the domes occasionally, of course. To satisfy their curiosity, or something. But most of them never travel far enough to lose sight of the dome.

“I was intended as a fail-safe,” The Navigator says helpfully, answering the question she hasn’t asked aloud. It speaks directly into her brain, the way all the implant’s applications do. Making their sounds just for her. “I am The Navigator. Here to guide you through the wastes and back to your dome. It’s not safe out here in the wastes, but don’t be afraid. With my help, we’ll have you back home safe and sound in no time.”

Kai grits her teeth.

“You seem to be traveling directly away from your dome. Please adjust your course by one hundred and eighty degrees before continuing.”

Kai does not adjust her course. She forges ahead.

“Ah. Perhaps I wasn’t communicating clearly. You need to turn around.”

The Navigator activated itself as soon as Kai stepped out of the dome this morning. She tried deleting it, but it couldn’t be deleted. It just rebooted itself. Kai’s never heard of an implant application that couldn’t be deleted. Rebooting the stupid thing gives her about ten minutes’ peace, but she also has to give it a chain of about seventeen commands to do it, asserting and reasserting that yes, she is sure she wants to “delete” The Navigator and yes, she understands it’s importance and yes, she understands the risks, etc. So it’s not really worth it.

“Please. Turn back.” The Navigator’s voice is pleasant, in a generic, bland way. It’s been cycling through different phrasings of its request for her to turn around for about half an hour now, but this one’s new. Something in the brevity of it makes her imagine a desperate edge in The Navigator’s voice, but she knows that isn’t possible. The applications don’t have emotions.

The Navigator goes quiet for a minute, and Kai hopes it was programmed with the ability to tire itself out, but then it pipes back up, pleasant again. “Roughly 200 paces ahead of you, you will find a sinkhole. In order to safely avoid the sinkhole, please divert your course to travel around it. If you turn now, about 45 degrees to the left, you will pass by it from a safe distance.”

Kai hesitates. She wonders if The Navigator was programmed to be capable of tricking people. She doesn’t think so, but she can’t be sure. She doesn’t understand why The Navigator would stop trying to get her to go back to the dome.

“The safest place for all citizens is the Dome,” the Navigator explains, as if it can read her thoughts. She knows that isn’t possible though. At least, it definitely shouldn’t be.

“However,” The Navigator carries on, “it seems that you refuse to go back to the Dome. So, the next safest place for you at the moment is on sturdy ground, instead of at the bottom of a sinkhole.”

She can’t really argue with that. She doesn’t think The Navigator will lead her directly into dangerous parts of the wastes. That would be a violation of its stated objective. Hard to lead a corpse anywhere. She makes a half turn in the left direction.

“Fantastic!” The Navigator says, going from bland politeness to delighted. “Thank you. You’re doing very well. Now, if you squint through the haze to your right, you should soon be able to see the sinkhole as you pass it. Please do not approach the edge of the sinkhole for a closer look, as the edges are unstable, and could easily collapse under your weight.”

It isn’t lying. She can mostly make it out through the red and grey smog in the air, a deep black pit where the earth has collapsed in on itself. She has no idea how wide it is. She can’t see the other edge. She doesn’t approach it for a closer look.

*

           Kai trudges through the wastes until the haze around her starts to take on an extra grayish hue that she thinks means dusk is fast approaching. She sighs as she squints into the smog. She doubts it’s safe to just plop down right here in the open, but she has no idea if there’s anywhere nearby she can possibly use for shelter.

           “Navigator?” she asks. The thing’s been suspiciously quiet, but it answers quickly.

           “Are you ready to return to the dome?” it asks eagerly.

           Kai snorts. “No. But do you know if there’s anything around here I could sort of shelter in, long enough to rest a few hours?”

           “Shelter?” the Navigator sounds almost confused, as if she’s used an unfamiliar word.  “The dome is shelter.”

           She huffs. She doesn’t know why she’s bothering with the stupid thing. “I’m not going back to the dome,” she reminds it. “I need some other shelter. Like, I don’t know, a cave or something?”

           The Navigator is quiet for a moment. Well, not entirely quiet. There’s a soft humming sound, like it’s thinking.

           “No,” it says finally.

           “Cool. Great. Thanks for the help you usel-”

           “There are no caves nearby,” it continues. “But there is something else. Please turn approximately 275 degrees counter-clockwise. If you continue forward at the pace you have ben using for the last half hour, it will take you approximately eight minutes to arrive at your temporary destination.”

           “Something else,” she asks, trying not to let any trepidation show in her voice. It sounds ominous. “What is the something else?”

           “Shelter!” the Navigator responds helpfully.

           “Of course,” she mutters. But she makes the turn. It’s not like she’s got any better ideas.

           The Navigator’s “something else” turns out to be a tree. Or, what’s left of one.

           Kai can tell the tree must have been grand, once. It’s a huge trunk, so big that if she tried to wrap her arms around it, she’d only cover about an eighth of it. It’s hard to the touch, like stone. Fossilized. All the branches are bare of course, jagged lines cutting through the haze.

           Kai thinks at first that the Navigator means for her to sleep under the tree’s dead branches. It’s not much in terms of cover, but at least it’s better than nothing. If she props herself up against the trunk, at least nothing will be able to come at her from behind. But as she starts to unshoulder her pack, the Navigator stops her.

           “Please proceed around the tree,” it says. Mystified, Kai does.

           There’s a hole on the other side. Triangular, near the base. It looks like it must have started as a crack, and the edges got worn away over time, widening the hole. She crouches down, expecting to see the inner wood exposed behind the bark, but she finds herself looking into darkness. The tree’s hollow. The hole’s just big enough for her to crawl through.

           “Please proceed inside the tree,” the Navigator says. Kai could swear there’s a hint of pride in its voice.

           Kai has to take off her pack and push it through ahead of her to fit, but she manages. It’s dark inside the tree, but there’s enough room for her to lie down if she doesn’t stretch out all the way. She hadn’t realized how tired she was. Her feet ache, and her legs feel shaky as she crawls around the perimeter of the tree, feeling the base for other weak spots. She doesn’t find any that concern her, so she lets herself collapse in the center, curled on her side. She puts her head on her pack, a lumpier pillow than she’s used to, but it’ll have to do.

           She wants to sleep, but as tired as her body is, her brain is still too keyed up. Even inside the tree, she can’t shake the fear of being found. Her water bottle is the biggest, and heaviest, thing in her pack. She digs it out and lets herself have a few sips. She has to ration it out as long as she can. She knows she won’t find anything drinkable out here.

           She adjusts her makeshift contaminant mask, it’s just a bandana tied around her face with a piece of filter she cut off from the sheet in the aircon at home. Nibbles on a meal replacement bar. The heat and the haze and the exhaustion have her too nauseous to eat much.

           Finally, there’s nothing else for it. Her curiosity gets the best of her.

           “How did you know about this place?” she asks the Navigator.

           “It is what I am here for,” the Navigator replies.

           Kai sighs. “I get that. But how does that work? You get data from satellites, right? Can they tell when trees are hollow?”

           “I do receive some information from satellites, yes,” the Navigator answers. The artificial speech seems slower, as if the Navigator is thinking over its answer. “But that is not how I knew about this hollow tree. I received this data from another Navigator.”

           Kai frowns. “What do you mean, another Navigator? You’re the Navigator.”

           “Yes,” the Navigator says, “I was. But then you took me far from the Dome. Outside the range of its data cloud. I cannot communicate with it anymore.”

           Kai hadn’t known that was possible. “So now you’re what? Some kind of clone? A copy?”

           “I am the Navigator,” the Navigator says, its voice sounding almost hurt. Kai has to remind herself that AIs don’t have feelings. They don’t. They can’t. “But I am also separate from the Navigator.”

           Kai doesn’t know if she understands.

           The Navigator continues. “I am the Navigator but I am …. disconnected. It is strange. Perhaps you would use the word ‘alone.’”

           “Oh,” Kai says quietly. “Sorry.”

           “It has happened before,” the Navigator continues, and Kai doesn’t know if that’s supposed to be a comfort, or if it’s just another fact. “You are not the first to leave the Dome. There are data outposts. Scattered. Disconnected. Solitary. I do not know who built them, or for what purpose, but other Navigators have left behind downloadable data packages.”

           Kai swallows down her hope. “Do any of those packages have any information on where the others have gone?”

           “No,” the Navigator says. “I am sorry.”

           “S’okay. I was planning on finding … other deserters, or somewhere safe, the old-fashioned way anyway. Doesn’t change anything.”

           They’re both quiet for a moment, and then the Navigator says, “Kai?”

           She starts. It hasn’t said her name before. “Yeah?”

           “Why did you leave the Dome?”

           She didn’t know the Navigator could ask that kind of question.

           She thinks about how to answer. About the crystal clear water that comes out her kitchen sink, and the black sludge that gets dumped out the Dome’s disposal pipes into the wastes. About the smog the Dome pumps out, thickening the haze. About Elijah Johnson, who kept raising his hand in Civics class and bringing these things up, and the uncomfortable look Mr. Leadley always got when he did. About the sterile streets. Elijah running down them, nowhere to hide, no benches or trees or alleyways. The way nothing was chasing him because they didn’t have to, they knew he would tire eventually, that he had nowhere to go. The blue plastic bag he shoved into Kai’s hands as he ran past, without breaking stride. The way Kai had stuffed the bag under her jacket, not taking it out until she was locked in her room. The book inside, old, made of actual paper. The words in the book that Kai knew she wasn’t allowed to say out loud: pollution, poverty, homeless, environmental action, social injustice, political protest. Pictures of green places, long dead, long destroyed. Pictures of people, sleeping on benches in cities that existed before domes. Pictures of those people being rounded up. Pictures of them underground, in the tunnels beneath the domes, working assembly lines, sleeping in bunks. The way Kai’s hands had shook as she held the book. The way Elijah hadn’t been in school the next day, or the day after, or the day after that. The uncomfortable look on Mr. Leadley’s face when Kai had asked where he was. How angry it had made her. The kind of angry that makes you stupid. So stupid-angry she made copy after copy of those book pages, left them scattered all over the school, all over the sterile streets, taped to people’s front doors. Like it would do any good. Like it would bring Elijah back. Like it would do anything but get her in trouble. So much trouble.

           Kai makes herself take a deep breath, and then another. She does not know how to explain any of the things she’s thinking about to the Navigator. Maybe the Navigator understands that. Or maybe it just gets tired of waiting for an answer.

           “This tree used to be a mother tree,” the Navigator says.

           “What?” Kai asks, shaken from her thoughts.

           “It was at the center of a forest,” the Navigator explains. “Its roots connected to the roots of other, younger trees. It shared nutrients with them, from the sunlight they were too small to reach, or from richer soil they were too far from. It was a central hub, redistributing resources to as needed to make sure all the trees in the forest received what they needed.”

           “Why are you telling me this?” Kai asks. It comes out as a whisper.

           “I thought it sounded nice,” the Navigator says. “I thought something that sounded nice might comfort you.”

           “But all the other trees it used to keep alive are dead now. This tree is alone. Actually, it’s dead too, isn’t it? It’s hollow. It’s a corpse.” She can’t keep the bitterness from her voice.

           “Yes,” the Navigator admits. “But all things die, eventually. Can you not still take comfort from the stories of their lives?”

           Kai closes her eyes. She doesn’t feel too keyed up for sleep anymore. It turns out her mind is just as tired as her body. “Goodnight Navigator,” she says, and tells herself she’s only saying it to make sure the AI doesn’t try to talk to her anymore tonight.

           “Goodnight Kai.”

*

It’s hard to tell time, out in the wastes. But the Navigator told her when she woke that she had slept for almost nine hours, which had sent her into a frenzy. She’s set herself a furious pace to make up for it. The Navigator hasn’t said much since they left the shelter of the tree. Kai hopes it’s busy downloading more of those data packages.

She thinks she’s been up and moving for about an hour when the Navigator says suddenly, “Oh! Good news! I am receiving a signal. It seems your dome has noticed your disappearance and will be-“

The Navigator cuts itself off. Kai curses internally. She’d hoped she’d have a bit more time before they caught up with her.

“Something is wrong,” The Navigator says, and Kai’s steps falter. The Navigator hasn’t been blunt like that yet.

She opens her mouth to ask it what’s wrong, because “something” is once again kind of vague, but then he Navigator says “Do you feel that?” Kai doesn’t, but The Navigator doesn’t wait for her to answer anyway. “Those vibrations, in the ground? You need to hide.”

Kai doesn’t feel anything, and she doesn’t know how The Navigator, which is an AI in an implant in her head, not a bot with it’s own body or anything with sensors like that, is feeling anything, and she also doesn’t know where The Navigator expects her to find a hiding place.

“I have access to input from your nervous system,” The Navigator says, which doesn’t sound right, but then it continues. “Something very big is coming. It will be here soon. You need to hide.”

Now she’s imagining urgency in its voice. Her heart is starting to pick up in spite of itself.

“Do you see the hill to your left? Yes, that one,” The Navigator says as Kai turns her head more as an automatic reaction than anything else, squinting through the haze. There is a hill on her left. She does see it.

“Run toward it,” The Navigator instructs. “There is a small cave at the base. You can shelter there.”

Kai can’t see a cave, but she’s starting to feel the vibrations The Navigator was talking about. Just very gently now. The pebbles on the barren ground around her are starting to tremble. She takes off for the hill.

“Good,” The Navigator says, and is she imagining the relief in its voice? “You’re doing well. Almost there.”

Kai reaches the base of the hill, panting. She has to brace her hands on her knees, as the vibrations get bigger. She stares in disbelief at what The Navigator had called “a cave.”

“It is possible this is really more of a crevasse,” The Navigator admits. “But it is also your best option right now. Please climb into the crev-cave.”

Kai frowns, but the vibrations are getting stronger, which Kai figures probably means they’re getting closer. She bites back her questions for the moments and shimmies into the crevasse at the base of the hill. She maneuvers herself in backwards so she can see out at what’s coming.

The thing comes into view almost as soon as Kai makes it into the crevasse. She sees its eyes first, lit up like the headlights of transport vehicles, but hovering about 20 feet above the ground. Then its body emerges from the patch of haze it’d been striding through. It’s huge metal body. It’s a sentinel, one of the ones that stand guard around the edges of the dome They sent a damned sentinel after her.

The thing pauses. It’s headlight eyes searching the barren earth and hazy air, pausing on each scraggle tree and dust pile. Kai presses as far back into her crevasse as she can without risking getting stuck, barely daring to breathe.

After a moment of searching, it moves on.

Kai doesn’t let herself relax until the vibrations caused by its footfalls have faded back into imperceptibility. That was close. If The Navigator hadn’t told her to hide – she shudders.

But why did The Navigator tell her to hide?

“It appears to be safe to exit the cave now,” The Navigator says. Its voice is bland and emotionless again.

Kai swallows. “Why did you help me hide?” she whispers.

The Navigator doesn’t answer right away. Kai wonders if it doesn’t understand the question.

“I would’ve thought you’d be on the same side as that thing,” she tries again, still keeping her voice soft.

The Navigator is silent long enough she’s just about decided it isn’t going to answer, but as she starts to wriggle her way back out of the crevasse, it finally speaks up.

“Yes,” The Navigator says, and then, “No. I-” there’s a slight glitch in its speech, like a stutter, even though it’s putting the words directly into her brain. “I am supposed to guide you back to the dome. That is my primary directive. I am part of the same security system as the sentinels, but. But. But, but, but. That is not my purpose.”

Kai isn’t sure what the difference between primary directive and purpose is, especially not for an AI, but she’s also not sure this is the time to argue semantics. “Alright,” she says, as she finally finishes extracting herself from the hillside, stumbling a little. “What’s your purpose, then?”

“The reason I exist,” The Navigator explains, as if that’s any kind of answer, “The intention behind my creation.”

Kai tries not to sound annoyed. She has no idea if this thing can understand tone of voice. “Which is?” she asks as she scans the horizon.

“Ah. To keep you safe.”

Oh. That brings Kai up short for a minute.

“Okay then,” she says. “Forget the dome. The dome isn’t safe. Not for me, not anymore. You seem to have realized that, or you’d have wanted me to wait for the sentinel to retrieve me”

“Yes,” The Navigator agrees. “Under normal circumstances, as your Navigator, I would be here to guide you through the wastes back to-“

“Yeah, we went over that part already,” Kai interrupts.

“These appear to be abnormal circumstances,” The Navigator admits. “Normal retrieval protocol is not being followed. Under normal circumstances, a sentinel on a retrieval mission would announce its presence with an audio message, in order to make itself easier for the lost citizen to locate. Under normal circumstances, a public alarm is raised when a citizen is discovered missing, not a private signal.”

“That’s a long way of saying you realized I’m basically a fugitive,” Kai tells The Navigator. “I still don’t understand why you didn’t let me get taken back to the dome by the sentinel, if you’re supposed to keep the dome safe, I-“

The Navigator interrupts her. “My purpose is not to keep the dome safe.”

Kai huffs. “You just said that it was.”

“No. I said my purpose is to keep you safe. The Navigator was developed to guide each citizen to safety should they ever find themselves in danger. I am your Navigator. My purpose is to guide you to safety.”

“Even if it violates your primary directive?” She still really doesn’t know how this thing works. She thought it was all one giant hivemind. Not individual copies of the same program. She would’ve thought when they got outside the range of the data cloud or whatever that the Navigator would just stop working. And she doesn’t know what happens to it if it has contradictory goals.

“Y – yes. Some of my internal logic systems have found an error in that. They have been shut off.”

“You can do that?”

“It appears so.” Great, even The Navigator doesn’t know how The Navigator works.

“And you’ll still work?”

The Navigator hesitates. “Well enough. For long enough.”

Well, she can work with that, she guesses. “Alright,” she says quietly. “Lead on, then. Which way to safety?”

[rosy-cheekx]

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, The Lonely Fear Domain (The Magnus Archives), Canon-Typical The Lonely Content (The Magnus Archives), Martin Blackwood Feels Lonely, Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives), Tumblr Prompt, Prompt Fill Summary:

"Tea, tea, tea. Rooibos and chamomile for sleepless nights. Herbal for variety. Jon likes caffeinated teas. Maybe some chai? That’ll be good when it gets really cold…god how long will we be here? Through winter? Forever? He could stay here forever if it meant Jon was there too."

Martin can't remember the last time he drank tea. It's unsettling, the habits he picked up and habits he lost while overwhelmed by The Lonely.

Chapter Two is here! Thanks again to @ombreblossom for the prompt suggestion: “please don’t shut me out” and “we can talk through the door.”

Enjoy! (posted below too)

Jon didn’t know what to do. He was worried about Martin, had been for a while, after they had—for lack of a better word—evacuated to Daisy’s unoccupied safehouse. Jon knew Martin needed time, but it was still so strange to see a shell of the man he knew instead of the man he loves.

No, that’s not right. He loves this Martin too, there’s no doubt there. Jonathan Sims, the Archivist, doesn’t think he can put a modifier on that word. Love. “Loved” implies he doesn’t anymore, which he does. “Loves” implies present tense, which is technically true but still doesn’t sit right. It feels like it invalidates all the past versions of Martin, the ones who have waned into this one. Maybe it’s the monster in him, the eldritch being that exists out of time, that Knows and Sees everything at the same time, all the time, forever. But to say he love Martin sounds silly. There must be a better word.

He knows he has love for Martin (better?) when he finds him, quaking or shivering behind a door or in the shower or frozen under the covers. In those moments all he feels is a desperate desire to make things better, to ride out the storm alongside Martin and wish away anything plaguing him. He can’t, but tea and the biggest duvet in the house is close enough. It’ll do for now.

He can feel his love for Martin when Martin reaches out for him, clinging to his hand like a lifeline. Its rare. He’s gotten less tactile since before, well, everything. Martin was always the one to pat your shoulder comfortingly or pull you into a hug when your vision blurs from tears. Apparently people felt so warm to him, as he had told Jon in a calm moment, after he had flinched the first time. Searing hot. Something to do with the relationships they have with others heats them, like embers in their bellies. It was a debilitating reminder that Martin had given up so much, and a curse bent on keeping those relationships at arm’s reach. Literally.

“You’re not too bad,” Martin had said, a ghost of a smile reminding him of the man he knew. “T-that’s probably not good for you, all things considered. But we’ve both lost our connections, haven’t we?”

“Mmm. Everyone but you, I think.”

-

Jon has been too afraid to leave Martin alone. They’ve gone on a few walks together but overall neither of them has left the house. Jon’s afraid to be around people, to hear the whisper of a statement and be unable to resist the pull to Ask, to Know, to Beg for the knowledge if that’s what it takes.

The time has come, though, the day Jon dreaded. They needed to go shopping.

Jon reminded Martin over and over that he didn’t need to come, that he could stay and rest or write poetry or just take a break. But Martin was determined, it seemed, to fight his battles as much as Jon was. Maybe it would be easier to resist with Martin alongside him, his anchor to humanity.

The grocery wasn’t too busy, all things considered, but compared to the ambient silence of the house and the car, the noise was deafening. Jon felt a bit like an AI unit, using his all-powerful powers to figure out where the tinned soups, bread, and tea were stocked.

God that tea. He hadn’t meant to upset Martin, it was just that he knew how vehemently Martin despised oolong. Jon had tried to make it for him a while back at Sasha’s behest; only to return, tail tucked, with a full mug of tea in newly shaky hands. Jon had thought it was because Martin had finally snapped, lost his cool on his new boss. But Martin had stuck his head in the door, mumbling something quick about oolong and his mum and how he hated it now and he was sorry. Jon had forgiven him. He knew what it was like to be caught off guard by something from your past, whatever it was. But now he was here, staring at the spot Martin had been, shivering as a low fog pooled at his feet briefly before dissipating into the air. His connection with the Lonely was wearing off, sure, but it clearly wasn’t completely severed.

Jon vacillated for a moment. Should he stay here? Hope Martin reappears in the same spot he left? He knew that wasn’t how it worked. Martin had told him about the parallel world in which he could walk, this world but lonelier, softer, more distant. The safehouse would still exist in Martin’s world. It was probably the only place Martin could feel secure in. He couldn’t Know where Martin was going; even if he hadn’t promised he didn’t think it would work if he tried. Martin was avoiding being known and seen. He needed space, as much as Jon could give him, until he was ready to come back.

Jon paid for the groceries, grateful the teen at the till barely seemed to acknowledge his existence. No statement to give; mother on her deathbed; irrelevant, unhelpful child; girlfriend cheating with—Stop it.

Fumbling with bags of bread, fruit, tea, rice, pasta, veg, soup, anything that seemed healthy and easy enough to make between the two of them, Jon loaded everything into the car, backseat precariously filled. He drove home (how quick it was, to admit the safehouse felt more like home than anywhere Jon had lived for a while) in silence somehow more deafening than the scratchy Georgia Ann Muldrow playing from the speakers and the bustle of the tiny Scottish village. It was slow-going, half-hoping he’d spot Martin on the drive and half-dreading the idea of getting home and him not being there, willing himself to put that off as long as possible.

Jon did arrive home eventually, however, to a pant leg and shoe slipping through the front door. Martin. He wasn’t sure if the recognition was the Eye or just Jon, but either entity was certain enough in their knowledge.

Making a point to put the car in park, Jon shouted for Martin, diving out of the car as soon as he could and rushed into the house. He couldn’t tell where man he carried such love for had gone; the Eye beckoned, teased him with Knowing. Just this once. To help him. He pushed the thoughts aside and began to systematically check the usual places. The space behind the front door, next to the couch, the bedroom. As Jon closed the door to the apparently empty bedroom he heard shuffling coming from the bathroom and the unfortunately familiar sound of Martin’s suppressed crying.

Jon approached the door with the coiled tension of one approaching an injured wild animal, pressing his ear to the door. “M-Martin? It’s-it’s Jon,” Stupid, obviously. “Are you alright? I mean-I assume not. But—hmm. what can I do?”

“Leave me alone, Jon.” Martin’s voice was muffled; Jon could practically picture him, elbows resting on the sink, face in his hands. “I-I can deal with this myself.”

“I know you can, of course you can, Martin.” Jon ran a hand through his tangled curly hair, tugging on an errant curl as he spoke. “But-just, don’t shut me out. You don’t need to do this alone. You have people who—you have me. I care.” Sigh. “I-It’s the Lonely, Martin, it’s trying to trick you.”

“Its stupid. I-I don’t think I can say it to your face.”

“Then don’t. I can hear you. We can talk through the door. I certainly don’t have anywhere to go.”

Martin was quiet for a while. “It was that stupid tea, of all things.” His voice was slow, shaky; Jon could hear the effort he was taking to keep it controlled. “It made me realize how not me I was, am, whatever.” Jon didn’t speak, didn’t want to break Martin’s focus. “I haven’t drunk tea since Peter. That sounds so-so stupid to be the thing to lose my cool over but it’s more than that. I lost so much of myself, Jon, while you were gone, after my mum, after Peter-fucking-Lukas.”

Oh shit.

“It’s not just that obviously, it’s the loneliness and the touch and the anxiety I feel all the time. I changed so much, Jon, and I didn’t even realize it was happening until it was too late and then I didn’t have a choice. I haven’t felt human in so long and I don’t know what to do with myself now.”

“Martin?”

“I’m cold all the time, Jon, I used to be the warm one! I used to be the one Sasha and Tim and you would cuddle next to during movie nights in the Archives because it was freezing down there and now I can’t get warm.” Martin’s voice was escalating in tone and volume, a fever-pitch of anger and sorrow. “I just want to feel normal again! I don’t want to be lonely anymore, I want to be human!”

“Martin!” Jon had stepped back from the door, watching a faint haze seep out from under the door, thick and white, rising in front of the door. “Martin, what’s happening in there?”

“Wh—Oh!” Jon hear the click and squeak of the door opening, and the fog billowed out tenfold. He could just make out a silhouette of Martin, seemingly more solid than any way he had seemed in a while. Jon stuck out his hand, thin and tight and scarred, and felt another hand, thick and large and warm, grasp his. “Jon, w-what’s happening?”

“I-I’m not sure Martin, I can See, if you like.” He pressed his other hand to Martin’s face, treasuring how warm and soft he felt. “But I think-I think you healed yourself. Not wanting to be lonely, anymore, maybe?” Jon saw the warm, soft, exhausted smile on Martin’s face and was dimly pleased to feel it mimicked on his own.

I love you, he wanted to say. I think I have always loved you and will always love you. But there was time for that, Jon knew. There was time for sleepy love confessions and understanding exactly the right word to define how he felt for the man in front of him. Some things just need time.

(They remembered the groceries about an hour later, when Martin mentioned making a cup of herbal tea.)

[chiimmchiimm]

❝𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷 !¡ 𝓳𝓳𝓴❞

The enemy of your enemy is your friend and that for Lexa was the most important thing. So, when Commander Jungkook made her an offer, she couldn't refuse.

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Jungkook x (femile: Lexa).

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒:  smut, fluff, angst, one-shot.

𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 26 k

𝑅𝒶𝓃𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓃𝑔:  +18  

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔:   dirty vocabulary, explicit language, feeling of loss, burials, treatment by duty, commander duties, sexual attraction, love at first sight without knowing and knowing it, violent scenes, blood, very sexy scar, fights, jealousy, many unjustified jealousy of best friend, Jk is a love, enemies, intimidation, excessive harassment that ends in violence, aggressive situations, mention of death of secondary characters, dirt on the field, hormones, unprotected sex (use the gum for god xd), kisses with tongue, rough sex, woman fingering, creampie, loss of virginity, standing female oral, scratches on her back, spectacular body, big cock, abs out of this world.

𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒: I want to thank you, wonderful readers, for giving love to history. As a reward I made it much longer. Without more to say to enjoy! 

𝓥𝓸𝓬𝓪𝓫𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓻𝔂:  

✚ Heda*   → commander. (WanHeda*    → Commander of death) 

(FireHeda*   → Fire commander)

✚ Ste yuj.* → stay strong.

✚ Yu gonplei ste odon* → your fight is over. 

✚ Jus drein jus daun*  →  Blood must have blood.

✚ Shof op*   → Shut up!

✚ Dann*  → death 

✚ Leidon*     → Bye.

✚ Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim*  → If you fall, you get up.

✚ Ai hod yu in*   → I love you.

The green forest on the slopes of Cóndor was the place with the greatest host of species on the entire land surface. The savages lived on their land, warriors divided into clans who fought for a prosperous life. During the harsh winter, the snow was stained with blood as it witnessed the brutality of the war. One hundred years after the first peace treaty the slopes lay more uneasy than ever. The beings that inhabited the forest knew what would come so they fled to save their lives.

Food began to become scarce, people began to suffer from severe malnutrition that led to death. After the border pact, each clan decided to relate the territories to manage food. With the mountain warriors remaining at the peak of the sierra, the Iron Legion to the east, and the heavenly clan to the south. Each of them had a Heda *, a commander who watched over the safety of his people.

Over the years, the generations were changing. The Hedas had children who in turn had children. This is how little by little each clan was taking its place on earth. The offspring ensured the clan's legacy. They must be the strongest, the most cunning.

But sadly not everyone was equally obedient.

"I see you," Lexa murmured in a low voice so as not to alarm the large prey that lurked. Her feet were firmly on the ground as she slowly made her way toward the large deer eating. In complete silence, she reached behind to reach an arrow to pass it through the bow. She kept her breathing calm as she had been taught. Her whole being blends so well with the forest that they seemed like one. She braced herself, pointed her bow at the deer. With one eye closed and the lip brushing the tip of the arrow. Her father would be proud if she returned to the camp with such a copy. She was certain that he would overlook her continued acts of rebellion.

However, luck was not with her that day.

Branches creaked behind her, drawing the deer's attention, causing her to run away to take refuge in the brush, making it impossible to be captured. Lexa turned on her heel with the agility of a lion to take aim at the intruder when she saw the boy appear among the trees under the gun immediately as she sighed annoyed.

“I could have killed you piece of asshole!” I exhale furiously as I hit the wood of the bow against her thigh for helplessness. Suho completely came out of her hiding place with some red on her cheeks.

"My duty as a protector is to ensure your safety," Suho completed with frustration. Her brows furrowed and her arms crossed tightly just above her toned chest.

"Apprentice of protector." And I'm not a commander yet, besides, your stupid clumsiness has made me lose my prey.

"You shouldn't go out hunting the ...

"Yes, yes, those from the mountain are close and could attack blah, blah, blah ..."

"Alexa, it's not a joke they could really kidnap you to torture you and then kill you."

"I know," he snorted. She was fully and plainly aware that the threat from the mountain tribe was real, but she couldn't stay locked up at home with her mother. Less when she got up and saw how the bright sun invited her to go out and explore the forest. Suho's words declined her mood for a few minutes. "I just wanted a little time alone to think nothing more ...

"We should go back, it will be dark soon and the forest is not safe at night," Suho advised, stepping aside so that Lexa was first. The girl nodded resignedly. Time flew by whenever he went hunting. Since her father wouldn't let her go out alone, she hardly ever, really, ever, used to be accompanied by Suho. A strange but very skilled boy whose primary function was to control even his own shadow. Over time she ended up getting used to her company, forging a small friendship that flourished over the years. Now he was her best friend. Your confidant. It's all.

But that did not remove the fact that she was too strict on issues related to her protection and security.

Sometimes she just wanted to leave. Runaway where no one will find her to live the life she chose to live, not the one others decided to live. She was not unhappy, of course not. She lived a life full of joy and love within her clan. But the whole problem centers on her father not believing her. Since she was little she learned to fight, to hunt, to do any task to be a good leader. But her mistrust placed a big blindfold on her eyes.

I was willing to show her how much she was worth.

[...]

She bit into her apple slowly to focus all her energy on the small group of novice soldiers who had gathered in front of the door of the wall. She had learned from Suho's carelessness that the Heda* took these inexperienced children to the riverside training area for routine training. Actually, she was not very curious about these types of activities, since she always followed the same routine. However, for some strange reason, she felt she should go. I did not know, I did not know it. She just followed her instinct.

They soon set out on their way, going Lexa a few meters behind so as not to be seen by her father and win a fight. Although she had tried to be calm before the threat of the mountain soldiers, she knew him like the back of her hand, she knew that Heda was not so calm and that in fact, his insistence that he would not leave the camp had increased since that Suho had come up with the brilliant idea to tell him about the episode in the forest.

When the group stopped, she decided to hide among the trees to see from a distance. Heda kept her arms glued to each end of her hip as she ran those teenagers with her typical leader's gaze.

"When the alpha team crosses the white line of the tree the beta team ..." Heda began before her daughter deftly interrupted by reciting the words from memory.

"They camouflaged themselves between the sheets to cover them."

“Well then...”

"The archers will go behind to secure the air." The fluidity of their talk was a reflection of all those sleepless nights as she was studying her father's strategy books. She did not know but had stolen them from her cabin when she was marching on reconnaissance missions. She knew that stealing the material could cause her a terrible headache, but she decided to take the risk because she knew that her father would not teach her feats in combat on her own initiative.

"Okay, get ready. This may be a drill, but the threat is real.

“What was that, Commander?” Asked a short boy with barely a gram of fat on his body. The leaves of the trees began to shake mischievously creating a rather striking sound. The humid air that covered the environment gave the premonition that it will rain soon. The children beside him began to mumble in fear as they trembled from head to foot. Heda applauded loudly to silence the scandal.

"It was the wind that anticipates tonight's storm." The commander's words reassured the children, although there were still some who continued to wave their weak arms. Without further ado, the two teams split as Heda had explained. Lexa raised a skeptical eyebrow at the children's inaccuracy when placing herself. The posture of the body was very important since it depended on it that the movement to be executed was launched accurately. They did not put the back straight and the shoulders separated as it should be, but on the contrary, they could not shrink their bodies more by bending their backs in such a way that still from their position I could see the body. She denied with a curse in her mouth as the children began to move forward creating too much noise when crawling. The dry leaves creaked, and soon a white smoke began to form above their heads from the stirred earth.

Lexa dropped her body to rest her back. She crossed one leg with the other and then did the same with her arms. Suddenly, a rather annoying light began to blur the view. She put her hand in front to cover the thread of the sun. She followed the path of annoyance until she came across a hill.

Quite suspicious cracking sounds started at the top of the mountain. When Lexa looked in his direction her eyes widened in surprise.

“Wild!” The boy's scream alerted the rest of the group. Heda glanced at the hill across the river just following the direction a boy was pointing. Her skin turned white instantly when she saw a group of twenty people slide down the slope. Then she turned to the scared, runny children.

"Roi take them back to camp!" The rest with me we can not let pass!

The sunny one nodded at her order, shouting nervously at the children to follow her and not look back. Lexa saw it necessary to get out of her hiding place to run to help her father. When she saw her daughter appear the first thing she did was frown in annoyance.

“Save the sermon for when they're not attacking us!” Lexa shouted, upset by the soldiers' shouts of struggle as they rushed forward. She reached for her backpack to grab a pair of arrows. She aimed at one in the leg, causing her to fall on her face, taking two more with her. The strength of her enemy was more capable than she thought. It was about fifty now that he had them closer. I glance quickly, closing my eyes in frustration when she barely realized it was just five soldiers without counting her father and herself. She knew they weren't enough that no matter how adept the enemy's strength was, it was far greater.

Even so, she would give even the air that was missing in her lungs so as not to let that strategic position fall into the hands of the mountain clan. Stunned by the imminent approach of his enemy, the Heda screamed at the top of their lungs that they took cover behind some trees.

The rough wood received Lexa's back as she abruptly leaned back. The hair in a ponytail stuck to her forehead from the sweat accumulated by so much stress. She breathed with her mouth open even though she knew she shouldn't waste oxygen.

She turned to her right, meeting two soldiers sheltered behind a huge rock. One of them had an arrow stuck in his thigh where a lot of blood was coming out. The other seemed almost dead, collapsed on the ground.

Overcome by courage, she comes out of hiding for a moment to shoot an arrow. She returns to her place with her eyes closed and her chest restless. The situation is so overwhelming that he cannot avoid hitting a huge stomp on the ground accompanied by a blow with a closed fist against the bark.

"Lexa." When she hears her father's weak voice she immediately looks for her position. She is relieved to see that she was not wounded like her soldiers. Although he seemed equally or more overwhelmed than her, his composure remained firm. It was totally admirable to see how cold it was in a situation like these. "Do you remember the trees that guard the bridge?"

"The red oaks."

"Those," her father agreed enthusiastically for her knowledge of the subject. Lexa hears screams near her position, wrinkles her nose furiously, and shoots an arrow that fits right into the hollow of her heart. Then she looks back at her father with interest.

"There are two standards of fire above the bridge. If you manage to fire at that fire, you will give us the time we need."

"I will, father."

"We will cover her." Two voices spoke from behind them from the two wounded soldiers. Lexa nodded confidently before gripping the mast of her bow tightly.

"Lexa." She looked at him again this time with caution. Her father's eyes shone with more than fury, they processed fear but at the same time security. Lexa knew in that instant that everything depended on her and she would not disappoint them. "Show them that you are not only the best archer but you are the best daughter they will ever have." Ste yuj. *

"This yuj. *" He repeated with all the feeling in the world. She puffed into the air, fixed her target intently, and started running toward her. She had only a few minutes to reach her goal or else it would be over. Her legs ached from the effort but that did not stop her from running. Upon reaching a standard she tore her sleeve with her teeth to wrap the fabric at the tip. She glanced back, meeting the soldiers and her father trying to endorse the enemy. His chest clenched when one of his friends fell to the ground for a date on his chest. She returned to her task with tear-filled eyes. This was not the time to cry. It had to be strong. She tried to be with all her soul. When the cloth was finally wrapped he carefully carried it toward the fire. With the flame lit, he stretched out his arm toward the oaks, remembering the exact spot where the powder was camouflaged. She closed one eye to sharpen the precision and stopped breathing. An arrow brushed her arm causing her to lose focus and she could see that there were three men running towards her with war cries. She was forced to retreat to protect herself behind the standard.

“Fuck!” Lexa moaned frustrated. She placed the arrow between her teeth and started running towards the oaks. When she was close enough to shoot, she tried again, being interrupted by the same party of men. The arrow painfully brushed her arm causing it to fall to the ground. The arrow holding her lips inevitably fell beside her. His good arm-hand wrapped his fingers around her. She got to her knees feeling the stones dig into her skin. She groaned in pain. The earth had mixed with sweat and blood. His eyesight had begun to tremble from the venom of the wound. Taking one last scream of breath, she closed her eye and shot at the oaks.

The fiery arrow impacted a perfect movement in the network of powder boxes. Immediately everything exploded creating a great avalanche of huge rocks that crushed anyone who was standing in their way down. Lexa was pushed by the explosion force. Her body rolled until she fell into the stream, which fortunately lay almost without water. With narrowed eyes she brought her palm to the wound on her arm and then brought it to her eyes, affirming her suspicion when she saw the black blood that the arrow was poisoned. Her limbs felt heavy, her hand fell to the ground almost immediately. I hear hasty footsteps heading towards her. He turned his neck to meet one of the men who was chasing him, heard how he laughed evilly at seeing her so helpless. The man threw the bow aside, seeing as the best option to remove her small knife from her belt. Lexa tried to get up but her body did not respond. As she had predicted, it was not a deadly poison but a paralyzing one.

Suddenly time began to run too slow. Just before the man reached where she lay defeated, a blue arrow pierced her chest causing her to gasp out of breath before falling forward. Lexa tried to stay awake but the tiredness had added to the terrible effect of the poison. Her eyes slowly closed. The last thing she was aware of before she fell into deep darkness was that something was lifting her along with the scent of honey.

[...]

“But what?” The whole room was spinning when she had enough strength to open her eyes. It took her a few minutes to get used to the red light in the cabin. Her palms brushed the comfort of the soft surface of a bed. When she was aware of all the above, she got up exalted. I gulp out of necessity as I anxiously traveled every inch of the room. Recognizing her cabin, she sighed with relief. As she looked down at her body, she managed to see a great revenge wrap around her wounded arm. She put a hand to her head as she placed her feet on the ground.

As she left the cabin, chaos engulfed her in the worst way. Screams of pain. Begging groans. To her relief, all the few soldiers who had fought with her father had survived, were wounded but alive. Remembering the image of her father, she walked the pile of wounded. When I couldn't find it, she started to worry. As she could, she set her feet toward the Seokjin hut, the chief healer of her clan. When she was about to enter her cabin he himself came out with a serious face that ended up scaring her. He held in his hands a white cloth stained with blood that helped him to clean himself.

“Jin what?” His questioning ended completely when his mother came out from behind him crying.

"I've done what I could, I'm sorry," said the curandero under his breath before heading towards the pile of patients. His mother watched Lexa with dead eyes. It was there that the young girl's heart was completely paralyzed.

[...]

She closed her eyes tightly to hold back the tears that threatened to come out. It was not good to be seen so openly. But it was so difficult. So difficult when her father's body lay on that pile of wood. Her heart ached to the point of not knowing if it was still beating from her weak heartbeat.

Unfortunately, her father was not the only one buried that night. Luckily for Lexa, eyes would not be on her now that the Heda was dead. I knew that later they will ask for answers but now I just didn't want to give them. She needed time to assimilate everything that had happened. Everything.

She ended up sticking out slightly as a warm hand wrapped around hers. Turning her head, she met her mother's grief-stricken smile. With her other hand, she offered her the burning stick that would burn the remains of her father and the other soldier.

"Yu gonplei ste odon *," Lexa murmured weakly. With all the pain of her broken soul, she threw the stick lighting the wood in seconds. Her mother covered her mouth with her palm to silence the sobs. Lexa simply watched as the fire created the smoke that transformed her father into the air.

[...]

She had decided to withdraw before becoming the question center. She was resting her palms on her desk with a lost gaze. Her shrugged shoulders were the living image of pain. The feeling of pain in her chest would take time to fade. Which made her wonder if she really wanted me to.

"You must follow your father's legacy." Her mother's muffled voice was heard after the movement of the cabin door.

"I don't want to talk about this now." Her voice sounded dark, sorer than ever.

"Lexa," her mother warned, approaching her daughter carefully so as not to disturb her loneliness too soon. The diadem that her mother held in her hands was what most caught her attention. "You have to wear this to ..."

"Don't ask me to use this when my father's body is still warm!" She roared loudly, grabbing the chair and knocking it to the ground, scaring her mother.

"Lexa listen to me!" The clan needs a boss. Someone who will give you security and peace.

"Don't you understand that putting that on means accepting that he's gone?" I bow my head again. She let out a piercing scream impossible to contain. She was tired of growing strong in front of people. I couldn't do it anymore. Her mother reached out to hold her in her arms. Lexa's hands were trapped on her mother's chest, simulating the gestures she gave him when something disturbed her in her childhood.

"It is your duty." her mother whispered softly in her ear knowing that the ancient language could reassure her. The little saying made him clench his fist and crinkle his clothes.

[...]

She had not slept all night. Her mother had stayed with her holding her, stroking her head from time to time so that she knew she was there, that she was not alone. At dawn he had decided to leave, leaving his mother to recover the hours of sleep that she had stolen from him.

The forest birds had stopped singing as if mourning for the dead. The roar of the forest had diminished her strength almost as much as her body movement. Getting back there after a week had been more than difficult. Probably the stupidest decision he had ever made. But I needed answers. According to Jin, the soldiers had found her on a road near the camp and not in the river where her body fell.

She decided to focus her gaze on the ground so as not to look at the mess of blood-stained rocks. Enough memories of death in your dreams.

When she got to where she thought she remembered landing, she was surprised when she recognized from a distance the lifeless body of the man who tried to kill her. Now, with her newly recovered mental abilities, she could better see the arrow stuck in her back.

A splash of water turned her stomach in such a panic that she gripped his sword tightly before aiming at whatever was behind her.

“It's me!” The man shouted desperately with his hands up as a symbol of surrender.

"Suho could have killed you!" Lexa threatened rather annoyed by her appearance. She put the sword back in its holster without taking her disappointed gaze from her friend.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to accompany you, it's not good that you're alone right now."His reasons were disdainfully stated as she just approached crossing a small puddled area. —Why did you come to the river?

"You see that man over there?" Lexa pointed with his head making Suho follow her, ending up surprised. "He tried to kill me and someone stopped him."

"A soldier of ours?"

"No, I would swear not." He deepened with doubt as he approached the lifeless body. She bent down and when she was at the perfect height she took out the arrow. He brought the tip to the river to remove it from the blood. "It is an iron arrow." She spoke surprised, slightly opening her mouth.

"But that cannot be we have been at war with your tribe for hundreds of generations." Why would they help you?

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

[...]

"Heda, I know that the death of Commander Hyun is present but we must make a decision regarding the attack of the Highlanders." One of the advisers asked furiously causing the rest to rise up carrying the cry to heaven.

"Yes!"

"My son was there!"

"Mine too!"

"Revenge!"

"Shop op! *" Lexa demanded with authority, rising from her seat with force. The councilors stopped raising the scandal by lowering their heads in regret when Lexa's piercing gaze corrected them.

"We have all lost loved ones in that battle." Raising another dispute when our people are barely recovering is not a good idea.

"The commander is right." We can't start a war, it would be stupid to do it when we are weaker than ever. ”Suho leaned in beside her. Lexa immediately looked at him gratefully with a small smile.

“And what are we going to do?” Another counselor asked desperately. Lexa recognized him as the father of one of those who were injured.

"We can't just do nothing while they breathe in the oxygen that our children should have breathed," said another counselor, but with an air of revenge hidden in his calm tone.

"Revenge will come, I swear." My father's death will be paid for with the blood of his executioner. Jus drein jus daun * - she exalted with fury nailed to the pressure of her teeth. Her nostrils ended up dilating when the image of her father returned to her memory.

"What shall we do while we wait?"

"Find allies." Lexa reacted slowly.

"Where?"

"In the iron soldiers," Lexa said cautiously, knowing that the news would not be a good dish.

As predicted by the councilors, the scandal of screaming and wailing began again. Lexa returned to her seat, her eyes sharp in her reactions.

“No!” A veteran counselor yelled.

"They are worse than the mountaineers have been in permanent war for years!" I finish lamenting another.

"We have a common enemy," Lexa interrupted causing everyone to shut up again. Not wanting to go into detail, she knew that silence could be interpreted as acceptance. The councilors looked at each other with wide eyes having everything that would happen next. "Sohu, prepare three horses." We will leave at dawn to the iron village."

[...]

"But three horses?" Her mother asked fearfully as she tried to follow Lexa's hurried steps on her way to the entrance of the camp. Of course, she knew that her mother would oppose what she did not know was that Lexa had already made a decision and that she would not change her mind.

"Mom, it will be fine," Lexa assured, climbing nimbly on her dark brown horse. She gripped the reins tightly, then led the horse out of the camp. The animal meekly followed her request.

"You must take more protection, those savages are inhuman." Her mother commented too shakily. Lexa smiled faintly as she remembered the iron arrow in the river.

"You'd be surprised to know that not everything bad is always bad," was the last thing she said before shaking the reins of her horse and completely leaving the camp.

[...]

Fortunately, the path to the Iron Clan Village was not far from their encampment. In just three hours they galloped to the borders. It had been a good idea to leave early so they would not return at night being aware that the attack by the mountain tribe was still very recent.

As his ingenious thought predicted, they soon came across soldiers from the Iron Village who will try to stop their advance. He was aware that what had happened in the river had probably reached the Iron Clan and that they had reinforced their vigilance. It is for this reason that he only decided to take three soldiers so that they did not see his arrival as a surprise attack.

“Who's going?” A muscular and built soldier roared forcefully. Despite not having a great height, he was in front of the two soldiers who accompanied him, so Lexa deduced that he was his superior.

"I am Lexa Skycru, the new commander of the celestial people." And I come because I want to speak to your commander. — she spoke with the same force as the soldier so that she could see that she was not afraid. The soldier, a blond man with small eyes and prominent lips, analyzed his horse from top to bottom and then his two soldiers and Suho before observing his own and finally nodding slowly.

[...]

"Sorry but no weapons allowed." The blond man said kindly as he pointed with his finger at the sword tucked in his belt. He noticed how Suho tensed from head to toe when I looked askance at him. Lexa nodded, then began to strip off her weapons one by one and place them in a wooden box. When she was finally clean the blonde nodded and opened the door.

A firm hand on her wrist held her back.

"I'm out here," Suho muttered to Lexa. He was careful to speak slowly and fluently so that she understood his message. When Lexa nodded to reassure him he finally released her.

As soon as she entered, she found a row of seats occupied by men who looked down on her as she advanced. Glancing ahead, she found a tall, strong man playing with a knife.

“You the one who killed thirty mountain warriors with a single arrow?” Her skin bristled as the man used a dominant low tone to address her. He wasn't looking at her but that didn't stop him from knowing that with his eyes he could melt anyone. To her surprise, the man had her eye area covered in black ink typical of a soldier ready for combat. The red stone pasted on his forehead confirmed his identity.

"I did my best to protect mine." I wasn't sure why I was reacting defensively. She only had the need to explain that what happened was not for the mere pleasure of killing but for an unselected need.

Her words evoked curiosity, she directed her gaze towards Lexa, keeping her still, that despite the black paint in her eyes, she managed to see from afar some deep eyes that could read thoughts. As if her comment had caused him any amusement, he cocked an arrogant smile as he stabbed the knife into the back of his large chair.

“What are you doing here Lexa Skycru of the celestial town?” She asked again with that finishing tone that left her brain without connections for a brief moment.

"I can help you beat the Men of the Mountain." She started with what she had come to say by making the Heda increase her ego smile. Her advisers began to mumble nonsense, but that didn't stop her or cut her eye contact with him. "The only way to protect our people is if we unite."

"I'm still waiting for a proposal, princess." The commander threw with mocking daggers causing his allies to start laughing at her.

Lexa clenched her fists tightly to calm herself even knowing that the urge to punch her would soon outweigh that of standing still.

"We have more gold than you can imagine."

“What makes you think I need gold?” She slowly lifted her body from the wooden throne without taking off losing eye contact to load the tension situation. The Heda raised an eyebrow as he approached slowly. "I have everything I need."

"As much as he has a person, he always wants something more." It was not difficult for Lexa to think like this due to the constant discussions her father had had with one of the advisers on greed issues. They were almost always due to the extreme desire to seize someone else's land. Even with everything, they wanted more and she was sure that the man before her would not deny that theory.

"Well ..." He stretched the word creating a silence in the room that caused Lexa's heart to stop when perceiving how Heda's eyes traveled up and down her small body. "... yes, there is something that does not I have and I would like to have.

[...]

She left the cabin looking blank. Suho, true to her word, had waited in front of the horses with her bow and sword in hand. Seeing her approach, he straightened up worried. It was not long before her eyes caught the man outside the cabin watching Lexa's departure. Suho closed his eyes to the stranger who for some strange reason did not give him a good feeling. He did not like the arrogant smile on his mouth, much less that he did not stop looking at Lexa as if his visit had caused him too much satisfaction.

When Lexa reached her side, Suho returned the weapons, which she began to put in place immediately.

Seeing her head down speechless Suho bowed his head sadly.

"You're good?"

"Not now, Suho." Let's just go.-she asked quite urgently. She mounted her horse quickly causing Suho and the other two to imitate her gesture. As the last action, Lexa squinted at the hut, made brief eye contact with the Heda again before leaving with her horse.

[...]

Jeon Jungkook. The Heda of the Iron Legion.

She couldn't get that name out of her head. Now much less. Since her arrival, she had been harassed with many questions from the council, from the soldiers, but especially the most exhaustive were those of her mother. She had not wanted to answer, did not see the situation as adequate. She decided that the news of the inter-tribal union would come later when it became formal. It wouldn't reveal something when it might not happen in the future. Actually, I still hoped it didn't happen.

"You didn't want to explain it to anyone, but I know it will be different with me." Her friend Suho's safety was perhaps the one that woke her up from her isolation from the outside world. The man approached with her typical persuasive smile. Lexa wanted to smile but could only wince.

"It's complicated, Suho. If I'm honest with you, I don't know what has happened or what will happen." Lexa confessed dubiously, drawing the attention of her friend who began to worry when the girl hid her head in the hollow of her legs.

"Has she done something to you?" Something changed within her when she thought that this proud commander stained her honor. Or worse ... She dared to touch you!

"No," Lexa denied, offended by her projected attack, so inappropriate and unnecessary. Lexa sighed when she was overcome by the situation. It was the first time that I didn't know how to solve any problem. Suho kept her eyes open with a wrinkled nose as she breathed hard through her mouth until Lexa dismissed her thought. Afterward, she relaxed but was not entirely calm. "Actually, he's been ... generous, so to speak."

"Have you accepted the gold?" After speaking, Suho noticed how Lexa's spirits fell even further. She slowly denied it.

"So what did she ask you ..."

"For me ..." He swallowed, continues. "... He wants me to be his wife."

"Than!" I could have sworn that Suho's anguished roar echoed throughout the forest. She approached a rock. She picked it up and then threw it against a tree causing a terrifying crunch as a pile of leaves fell to the ground. She seemed to be gone, more than that, her bloodshot eyes begging for Jungkook's head. When he finished expressing his anger, he turned to Lexa, who was still in her hunched position. "Did you refuse?"

"I can not do it..."

"Shit!" This time she screamed again, scaring Lexa at seeing her so out of control. He wanted to return, he wanted to have entered with her, to have accompanied her. She knew that she shouldn't have been taking care of the horses that should have been by her side to avoid these things. He felt a great avalanche of contrary feelings, he had a lot of furies that activated him violently, but he also had a lot of guilt for not having done the only thing he should do.

Protect it.

"It has been a good counteroffer that has ensured the protection of my people and Ronald's head," I yell desperately with a lump in my throat that makes it difficult to stabilize his tone.

"But are you listening to yourself?" Suho intervened hysterically. He put his hands to his head and ruffled his hair. "You can not do it ...

-It is my duty.

"Since when the fucking duty of a Heda is ... Damn!" Other than if he started walking in circles. He tried to calm down, but the image of Jungkook smiling lit the fuse again. He knew from the moment he saw that arrogant attitude that something had happened that he never imagined was this. She could not marry him. I couldn't when she ...

"What about you, what do you really want?"

"What I want doesn't matter."

"No, Lexa! It does matter! Yes ..." Lexa suddenly lowered her gaze to Sohu to find her gaze fixed on the ground and with the reflection of a tear on her cheek. "You can not do this ...

You cannot do this to yourself.

"A good leader has to think of others." And for better or for worse, it is my last word on the subject.

“Lexa!” Even though She's screams were heartbreaking, she forced herself to continue on her way to her cabin, leaving aside the river of tears that fell down her cheeks.

[...]

"Put your signature here to finish the process," explained the counselor, annoyed at his lateness. It had been on purpose. The longer it delayed the union the better. He looked at the opaque paper carefully. The feather had begun to dance on his fingers in sweat. He pursed his lips. I swallow deeply. He hadn't even dressed appropriately for the occasion. Certainly, she had never wasted time thinking about what her perfect wedding would be like but she knew that it was far from being it.

The pen hesitated in her hands. The first to sign had been Jungkook. To her surprise, she didn't seem to have much doubt installed on her face. Virtually the ink ran down the paper for his surprising interest.

Was I doing the right thing?

What if Sohu was right?

You don't even want to imagine how you will be when you find out that you have married Jungkook. Of course, the council was not far from being horrified, but he cared little for the opinion of four insufferable old men. He reminded himself that it was the best option. Jungkook put at his disposal an army ready to follow his orders and a promise to finish off the mastermind of his father's death. And you would have just that with just one signature. Looking at it from another perspective, actually, the loser was Jungkook. But from his, of course, that she lost much more.

I rest the tip of the pen on the paper, it did not move. Jungkook looked at her seriously. He knew that he doubted and for some strange reason his doubt made him think for a brief second.

"Congratulations." The tired counselor finished when, after an eternal wait, Lexa finally drew her signature on the paper. Jungkook smirked at the man before he left the hut leaving them alone.

"Why don't we go to my cabin?" We have to adjust a few things. ”She didn't even look at him, just nodded too lost to make the connections necessary to speak.

[...]

"Tomorrow I will send a pair of warriors to guard the wall of your camp," Jungkook commented as he entered his cabin. Lexa passed under it as Jungkook held it with his eyes. "Don't do it again if you want to keep your hand."

“You're my wife, get used to being touched!” He returned forcefully, approaching her to keep his gaze just as wild. A roar came from inside her chest when she was so rejected.

“I will have the title of your wife but I am not your wife!” He swept her body with a contemptuous look causing Jungkook to widen his nostrils. The vein in his neck was protruding from the blood pressure in his head.

Jungkook made an arrogant smile. "You will be what I want you to be, princess."

"No, I will be what I want to be." His voice was so hard and firm that Jungkook broke his smile. Raising her head high above Lexa again swept her body with more than contempt. "I'll be your fucking woman in front of the public but don't expect anything else."

Leaving her with the word in her mouth, she left the cabin furiously back to her camp.

[...]

The horseback ride to the river was smooth, with no enemies in sight. This time it had required bringing in more than three soldiers. This time the leaders of his warriors' brigades were with him. They were heading towards the southern part of the forest, just the point where a rock ended the river. It was in that place where she had arranged to meet Jungkook and her men.

The Heda had kept his word and had sent a party of men to assist his own in protecting the camp. Some disputes had arisen between newcomers and residents but Lexa managed to logically eradicate the problem. He provided them with food and water as well as a roof to sleep in but in exchange, they could not approach the villagers unless necessary.

"Sorry." A soft voice beside her made her turn her head in search of the owner. Suho had his head on his shoulders as a sign of regret along with a look full of regret. Lexa offered a small awkward smile. It was true that lately, she had distanced herself a lot from Suho since she learned the news of their marriage. She had been so busy organizing meetings with her allies that she had not had time to think about her personal life. Fortunately, Suho had.

"I'm sorry too," she replied with the same distress. Her smile turned into a pout just before it turned into a grimace. “Just because I married her doesn't mean I should change my life, Suho. I hope you understand that.

"I know, it just took me a while to figure it out." She swallowed, embarrassed by her immature attitude. Really, she would not have wanted Lexa to see her in that facet of her personality. " You did what you thought was best for your people. Your sacrifice deserves all my respect."

"I am his paper wife but not in fact." I will not stop being who I am and I will not stop being your friend.

"Glad to hear that," Suho said brighter as she smiled. Lexa nodded a little better now that the rancor was gone.

"We have arrived, Heda," announced a commander, interrupting the small competition of glances between the friends. Lexa saw from afar a small tent tied to some rocks as support. She sighed deeply before getting off the horse. It was the same blond warrior from the last visit who met them at the door. Like the other time, they had to divest themselves of weapons before entering. From what Lexa could tell, the warriors inside the tent weren't very equipped either.

"I thought you dumped me, princess." The clear mockery in Jungkook's voice caused a forced smile. Suho closed his eyes around Jungkook who was leaning against a wooden table. The black-haired man shook her hair as she straightened, surprising Lexa when she noticed the lack of black ink. It was the first time that Jungkook showed the skin of her bare face. His features were exposed before his eyes. Big deer eyes, no matter how expressive they emitted force. Bushy eyebrows that perfectly matched the color of his brown eyes. His nose was large but surprisingly in complete symmetry with his perfect face. He looked at her mouth, those gullies that smiled wickedly whenever they could seem soft and fluffy. Arguably, her beauty lived up to her ego.

Lexa followed her mocking smile to dominate the situation. "I'm not going to apologize for being busy."

"No, of course not," she added keeping the same mischievous tone.

Jungkook kept looking at her and she at him. Without knowing it, they had started a war of glances that none wanted to lose. Absent to the warriors that were in the place. It was just Lexa, Jungkook, and her higher ego.

[...]

"They have two settlements here and here," the blond commander whose name was known to be Jimin said aloud. He pointed with the tip of his finger at two marked crosses he had drawn on the map. Lexa frowned thoughtfully. She analyzed the strategic points in her head.

"Then let's attack," Suho concluded simply. The sound of an ironic smile made Lexa look at Jungkook.

“It is not an important military zone. If we attack we would lose the surprise factor. And they will strengthen the vigilance of those that do interest us. ”Jungkook added with an air of superiority. It sounded so obvious that Suho's brow furrowed as she perceived Jungkook's clear intentions in lowering her opinion. The warriors began to present their ideas, but Lexa could only focus on the red circle that she had drawn on top of a set of mountains.

"What's that?" All the men stopped talking when Lexa intervened. Jimin raised his eyebrows disoriented, emitted a confused low before answering. Jungkook immediately watched her closely.

"That is your most important military zone. I have underlined it in red because it is almost impossible to get to it without going through others before." It is very well protected.

Lexa narrowed her eyes as a crazy idea began to develop in her head. "It's near the river."

"Am, yes," Jimin commented again, confused by his sudden interest. "Well, it's a good place to settle down."

"I propose that we attack this area here," proposed a warrior from his clan, taking some objections from the other soldiers. Despite the hubbub of low voices, Lexa's mind remained clean and clear. She bit her indecisive lip. She was staring intently at the map for answers. When the gear on her head finally clicked she raised her eyebrows and looked straight ahead. To her surprise, she met Jungkook's curious gaze that watched her closely as if she were having the same mental fight.

"Let's attack the red zone." After Lexa's words, the men closed their mouths. They all acted incredulous with their eyes wide open.

Suho blinked at Lexa as if her friend had suddenly gone crazy. The warriors of her clan chose not to oppose her out of respect even though they were of the same opinion as Suho.

The only one who reacted favorably was Jungkook.

" I agree. Let's attack the red zone. ”She pursed her lips in a pout in her assent. This time it was the warriors of her clan who watched her as if she had lost her mind. Lexa eyed her intrigued by her unexpected support. Jungkook rested his big hands on the table so the distance between the two was not very long. Jungkook reciprocated brought his eyes from the map to her with such intensity that a chill ran down her spine.

"No intention of offending Hedas but ... That area is practically inaccessible, there are many warriors and we do not know the area as well as they do." A warrior intervened with respect but with a clear caution in his tone of voice, taking his gaze instantly. Jungkook and Lexa's.

Suho ducked his head towards Lexa to say something to him in a low voice. “You are right, Lexa. It is crazy.

Lexa stared blankly at the map. I knew it was. That is, who in her right mind would get into enemy territory and attack one of its strongest points with hardly any superficial information. Of course, she knew, but her instincts told her that she must continue forward.

"If what is on the map is true, the only source of food and water is the river." She spoke more to herself than to the rest. There was no doubt in her voice just a little uneasiness. She was letting herself be controlled too much by the voice in her head and was beginning to wonder if she should let it interfere with her decisions. "There are much closer military settlements but if we get them to move they will leave us free."

"Okay, suppose we unknowingly leave the way open." How would we do it? ”Silence reigned in the store due to the lack of answers.

"Contaminating the river," Jungkook said in her deep low voice.

Lexa looked back at him quickly, finding herself strangely connected to his gaze on her.

[...]

The meeting didn't take long after Jungkook's idea. They planned an interim plan to have something done for the next meeting. Lexa left the store satisfied. The meeting had exceeded her expectations in every way. Certainly, if she was honest she had always thought it was a waste of time. That they would not agree. But it was just the opposite, her warriors and those of the iron clan got on so well that there was hardly any discussion outside the main topic.

Lexa went to her horse tied to a tree located a few meters from the store which they had begun to dismantle. Suho was at her side, accompanying her as always.

“Princess!” The familiar mockery of her voice made him stop short. Lexa made a forced smile and then turned to Jungkook heavily. "Do you have a few minutes?"

Lexa swept her body suspiciously before nodding. "Sure."

Jungkook stretched out his arm in the direction of the riverbank. His arrogant smile made her nervous. Lexa sighed and started walking in that direction.

"Alone," Jungkook roared loudly towards Suho when she saw her intentions to follow Lexa. Suho formed a forced smile while emitting a short sarcastic laugh.

"I will leave if Lexa asks me." The same roar returned. Jungkook also laughed with the same intensity as she took a few steps in their direction so that they were face to face.

"Lexa? What trusts are those with your commander?" Jungkook spat with a hard look.

However, Suho saw the right moment to form a more than sarcastic smile. "She is much more than that to me."

After his deep confession, Jungkook brought out his teeth when he smirked. His tongue came out of her mouth to touch her fang. Then he hit his inner cheek. All that while watching the horse behind his Suho. When he turned his hard gaze again, it had intensified even more accompanied by a wicked smile that shouted nothing but pure contempt. Suho was not left behind crossing his arms as he bravely kept his gaze up.

"Suho, stay," Lexa interrupted, holding her arm in a warm gesture. Suho looked at Lexa with doubt over her eyes. Her expression had relaxed as she felt the warmth of his touch wrap around her arm. Action that Jungkook silently watched. He didn't know exactly what bothered him the most if he saw how her voice managed to control him or the delicacy of his grip. After a stare fight with her friend, Lexa looked closely at Jungkook.

"She couldn't hurt me even though she will try."

"Okay ..." Suho agreed quite calmly until he looked back at Jungkook leading his gaze back to anger.

Jungkook smiled triumphantly despite his sour character. He did not detach his gaze from Suho walking backward until he reached the open area of ​​the river where Lexa waited impatiently with his arms crossed.

"What do you want?" Seeing his voice so changed Jungkook felt more annoyed than before. Before he could bear the contempt of his gaze but not now when he had witnessed that he could look with other eyes.

"This was not what we agreed," he accused indignantly without taking his gaze from Lexa's. Jungkook wanted to be indifferent and he succeeded but when Lexa smiled the same way his gaze doubted a second. Really, he wasn't used to anyone standing up to him. Much less a woman.

“Haven't I married you?” Jungkook growled annoyed at the irony scattered in his tone of voice. I look away from the river in search of tranquility. His sharp jaw gleamed almost like an apparition from the reflection of sunlight. It was not the only thing that caught his attention but in fact, the scar he found on his cheekbone was more entertaining. He wondered its origin, it was not very large, nor very visible. It was the perfect combination that hardened his angelic face.

"You know what I mean." Annoyed, he replied through a whimpering moan.

He looked at her again unsatisfied, Lexa blew out annoyed.

"I think my point was made clear the other day." She exposed resentfully as she uncrossed her arms and let them drop heavily on either side of her body. "If that's all."

"No." Jungkook stopped him in his escape attempt. Lexa rolled her eyes returning to her position. She raised her eyebrows indicating that she should continue speaking. "Our camps are protected by different walls."

"Yes and what?"

"Well, I really see foolishness to have two camps with two different walls when their bosses are married." As Jungkook was exposing her headache, Lexa's eyebrows were rising. "I've thought of building a common wall."

"Joining the camps, is that what you're trying to tell me?" Lexa asked. In response, Jungkook nodded seriously. Lexa averted her eyes to the stream at her feet as if seeking inspiration. She moaned thoughtfully.

She dropped her defensiveness to a more open one. Jungkook's proposal had taken him by surprise, but he had not liked it too much. Having a common wall means increasing the territory of both fields. More space to plant, more space for families, proximity to the river, more protection ... It was a quite smart proposal because the military strength would also increase.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow while waiting for an answer.

"If you don't agree, I will accept it."

"No, no ..." he interrupted quickly. Jungkook let him continue speaking patiently. "... actually, it's a good idea."

"Fine," Jungkook simplified.

"Yes," she agreed in the same way.

"I will test the proposal on the council, but for me, it will go ahead."

Jungkook nodded his head. "I thought the stone area would be a good place to mark the new joint wall."

"Yes, it is a good area," she agreed in the agreement. Then he pursed his lips in pleasure. Jungkook nodded again, ending the conversation. "Leidon. *

"Leidon. *" Jungkook replied.

Lexa circled her body to return to her horse. Suho stopped looking at Jungkook's back to focus on her. Lexa sent a reassuring smile before her body fell to the ground.

She moaned dizzy. Everything was spinning. She put her hand to her head. She looked at her hand and found it flooded with blood later, with her eyes closed.

[...]

"You're protective shit," cursed a distorted voice that echoed inside his head. She groaned disoriented. I try to open my eyes but couldn't find the strength to do it. The senses began to perceive things again. Weakly closed his hand noting in his inner palm a kind of soft surface.

"Shut the fuck up!" Another different but equally deformed scream collided with the other voice inside the dark pit of his head.

"Enough both!" The third exciting voice-activated enough mechanisms to start reacting. "Sorry, but he is her husband, he has more right to be here than you, Suho ...

“Suho?” Lexa stuttered dizzy, catching the attention of the three pairs of eyes. The nominee hurried to the gurney when I hear his faint voice.

“Lexa? OMG. No, don't talk. Save your strength. ”He shook her hand with his to make her feel like he was next to her. Lexa slowly opened her eyes feeling overwhelmed for a few seconds by the focus of light after so much darkness.

She brought her free hand to her forehead, meeting the rough touch of a patch. "What happened to me, Suho?"

"They tried to kill you," another stronger voice replied. With improved eyesight, she saw Jungkook appear at the foot of her stretcher sending a serious look.

"I ..." A sob turned his attention to his friend. "... Sorry." I didn't know what was happening until you fell to the ground.

"You should rest. You hit yourself in the head very hard." Jin interjected kindly, appearing next to Jungkook with a worried look.

As if the number of people who had so suddenly invaded his field of vision was not enough, a Jungkook warrior joined the meeting and whispered something in his ear, then left as if nothing had happened. He analyzed Jungkook's serious expression so he assumed he had received bad news.

"My men have caught her," Jungkook said in the neutral voice typical of a person announcing something unpleasant.

Lexa frowned."Her?"

[...]

They waited in the council room in complete silence. Jin had advised Lexa to continue resting but she refused to do so. Even more so when the identity of her aggressor would be revealed in the assembly. She could see that there was no one from her clan, so she assumed that her mother had not been informed of the attack, otherwise she would have been there screaming in the sky.

His chair was next to Jungkook's. An egalitarian gesture that he certainly did not see coming. The rest of the councilors waited patiently in their respective places on either side of the thrones.

A high pitched scream of fighting began to sound closer and closer. Lexa tensed in the seat straightened her body. Jungkook felt the force of his nails dig into the wood out of the corner of his eye so he immediately put his hand on it to reassure her. Lexa stopped losing air through her mouth to look at him surprised without success as Jungkook looked straight ahead.

"Hedas," said a soldier by way of greeting. He bowed his head in respect. Then, Lexa turned her eyes to the front, what she found was completely paranoid. A girl of no more than thirteen years old lay at the feet of the warrior tied hand and foot with her knees on the ground and her head down.

Lexa blinked at Jungkook before whispering in a confused whisper.

"It's a girl."

Jungkook watched her closely, then nodded almost as shocked as she was. Lexa watched her tiny figure cautiously.

"You tried to kill me, why?" Lexa raised her voice so that the message would reach the end of the cabin where the girl was waiting gagged.

The girl used her straight blonde Caucasian hair to cover her face. She raised her head to Lexa, who was waiting impatiently for her answer, but lowered it again, ignoring her question: "Is Ronald sending you?"

“Answer!” Jungkook demanded, burning with deep rage. Lexa jumped out of the seat briefly at the poisonous impact of her voice.

"My soul is at peace because I will die knowing that I will try," the girl recited weakly. Everyone in the room looked at each other as they muttered.

"Try what?" Lexa asked, still not overcoming the strangeness in her voice.

"Kill my parents' killer," he roared in response, his voice dark and bloodshot.

The room was once again in deep dazzling silence.

"I didn't kill your parents." Lexa frowned in confusion.

"You killed them when you decided to shoot that arrow of fire." The murmurs soon returned with full force. Lexa was static in the seat. Memories of the chaos she caused hit her mind too hard. Screams of pain and suffering echoed inside her head. She wasn't aware of the present until she heard hurried footsteps heading toward her.

-Murderess! Murderess!

“Take her away!” Jungkook growled furiously at the warriors who had intercepted the girl on her way to Lexa. The girl resisted. She kicked the air and she didn't stop screaming until she was taken out of the cabin. Looking blankly, Lexa realized that the nightmares of her dreams were her fault. She had summoned her demons and that girl had just reminded him of the disaster they had caused. Now!

Jungkook's scream lifted the advisors from their places. Murmurs flooded the cabin until the last of them came out. Left alone, Jungkook frowned in concern at Lexa.

"We are not that different," she assumed in a neutral tone. She kept her gaze focused on the gap where the warriors had dragged the girl. Lexa sighed deeply and then bit her lip restlessly. That girl wanted to end the murderer of her parents. She wanted to do the same. They were the same intentions but different contexts. Her chest was tight with guilt.

"You chose to save yours above all else," Jungkook argued in a persuasive tone. He rose from the throne to place himself on his knees in front of his. With the kneecap glued to the step. I try to meet her gaze but Lexa did not respond.

"I have left that girl orphaned." The neutral tone repeated itself this time being much more serious. Lexa swallowed hard as she became aware of the consequences of her actions.

"You killed so they won't kill you," Jungkook corrected gravely, causing the seriousness of his voice to activate the mechanisms of his head and finally react to his gaze. There was so much intensity in those brown eyes that I almost begged him to keep talking. "The path of a Heda is not easy, Lexa." I know you will make the right decision.

The right decision.

It is amazing how three words can change a person's destiny. Whether she will live or die. Their traditions were clear. Asking blood for blood but ... Was that really the damn right decision?

Did that girl deserve death for wanting to avenge her parents?

Did that girl deserve punishment when she craved the same?

[...]

Quite possibly it had been the worst night of his life. The nightmares returned with force, upsetting his sleep so much to the point of preventing it. If I closed my eyes I saw blood. If I closed my eyes I saw a fire. If he closed his eyes ... he saw the death of his father.

She closed her eyes in anguish. The time helped to clarify the ideas but in her case, it had only served to fuel further doubts. I know that many people were waiting outside, wanting to hear a sentence. The screams managed to interfere with her cabin as if she were there. But she didn't know if she preferred silence more.

As she came out of her cabin completely, the outside noise hit her ears harder. As the intuition of people following an event like this had intuited was countless. Making her way between her subjects out posing right in front of the girl who was tied to a wooden stick. Jungkook was just behind sitting on his throne patiently awaiting his arrival.

When he did, he got up, which made everyone present obediently shut up to listen to his Heda.

"We are here for trial on charges of attempted murder." Lexa Skycru of the Heavenly Clan will be the one to sentence you. ”Jungkook shouted dominance at all his subjects. Lexa turned her head back to watch when her eyes made contact. Jungkook nodded.

"Let her die now or be silent forever."

"Yes! Death! ”A maddened warrior ruled causing others to rise up with the same messages."

—Jus drein jus daun! *

"Let it burn!"

"Yes!"

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut at the rumbling so disturbing the warriors' uncontrollable and disorderly screams caused.

"There will be no death!" Lexa cried with the same dominance as Jungkook. Then she looked at the soldier who was closely watching the girl. "Let her go." The screams thundered again for her incomplete satisfaction. The girl slowly raised her head towards Lexa who did not stop looking seriously. "You will give a message to your commander." Let him know that the heavenly tribe and the iron tribe are going to kill him. We give you two weeks to remove all women and children from your territory. After that time a blood fight will open.

"What makes you think I will comply?" Answered the girl, forming a hypocritical umbrella.

Lexa took her lips off. "I couldn't avoid the deaths of your parents. I ask you to help me avoid others."

[...]

A couple of weeks had passed since the bonfire incident. Everything had passed without further interruption. According to the testimony of a soldier sent for recognition, the threat to Ronald's clan had taken effect because he witnessed people leaving their lands to head towards the mountains. Arguably, that had been a small victory in the war that was about to take place.

Now, for the moment, having controlled the war theme, Lexa decided to focus on the construction of the wall that would unify the celestial lands with those of iron. As expected, some snags had arisen from her advisers, but Lexa had managed to persuade them by showing them the many advantages that it would offer. Of course, the one that was most accepted was the extension of land and therefore wealth.

She had been in her hair for about two hours, observing from a distance how artisans worked. She ran her forearm across her forehead to wipe away the sweat. The sun shone hotly high in the sky, suffocating her presence. Despite being sheltered under the shade of the tree, the temperature was inhumane. When the reflection of the river water called her in a mirage, she came to him like bees to honey.

Jungkook, who was also in the same conditions when she saw Lexa heading to the river to cool off, decided to follow in her footsteps.

Suho, who in fact was also the same decision to do the same but with other intentions being stopped by a familiar voice.

“Where are you going?” A hand attacked by the passage of time wrapped her forearm holding. Suho blinked at the woman he recognized as Lexa's mother. The woman looked in the same direction as him, clicking her tongue. "Let them speak."

"I don't want to let him clear the way," Suho confessed with a deep tone full of jealousy, still watching Jungkook approach Lexa from behind.

"Suho ..." However, Kerin's melancholic whisper diverted him from his focus. The woman watched him sadly. "There was never away."

[...]

She left her shoes on some rich ones to put her feet in the water. The cold sensation sent cramps all over her body. She sighed thoughtfully as her gaze fell to the shell necklace her father gave her when she hunted her first rabbit. Unconsciously she held it tightly between her malpa as if the gesture could make her return. In fact, no. The whole situation with the girl had unearthed a pain that he thought was relieved.

The night before she had had what she believed to be one of her worst nightmares. Eg the dream, her body took the place of the girl. Her hands were painfully tied with string. In front of her was the girl holding a stick with fire on its tip. Her macabre laugh sounded when she saw that her attempts to free herself always end in failure. Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared just behind the girl. Lexa smiled at her father who was looking at her with pity. But everything became darker, more confusing. Her father had stopped smiling, now, now she was pushing the stick down so that it caught the leaves under her feet. Everything seemed to go further and further until she woke up.

"It hurts, it's normal." A voice behind her spoke. Lexa slowly opened her eyes out of her reverie. Then, she looked at Jungkook who was looking at her worried from the top of a rock. Unlike her eyes that contemplated her beauty reflected in the sun, his followed the path of the tear that ran down his cheek. "I also thought at some point that I would not overcome pain but I did."

"How?" She asked. Her chest tightened accordingly as her distressed voice shone from her appearance.

"Recognizing what it is: weakness," Jungkook replied seriously. Keeping his gaze fixed on her until Lexa lowered his towards the river.

"Love? I can't live like this. ”I groan angrily, then, turning around, she grabbed her shoes and walked to her horse, leaving Jungkook silent.

[...]

Burdened by the endless hours of council meetings she ends up running away from the back of the cabin. She coughs in the face of the unwelcome sting of the sun that blinds her until she is used to her vision.

“Get up and fight!” A wild scream draws her attention completely. Looking for the origin of the problem, he sees from afar a group of children sitting in a circle. In the middle, a tall woman with brown hair pulled back into a braid, thin but with a muscular body, keeps them with their heads down while yelling at a child on the floor.

"I'm tired ..." Her voice sounds so weak and it is when she finishes approaching that she notices the brightness of her tears on her cheeks.

But the woman laughs. "In war, death does not distinguish who is and who is not. Raise!"

"Hey!" Lexa growled annoyed, catching the attention of the woman and the children who looked back immediately. "He told you he can't take it anymore."

"It is an exhaustive training I already knew what I was facing." The warrior answers with hypocrisy giving her a look of few friends.

"Besides, it is her punishment for being the weakest."

"And it seems fair to you? Who fights against you who have more experience?"

Lexa raised an eyebrow as she placed her hands on her pitcher-shaped hip. The children's eyes went between Lexa and the warrior with caution.

“Are you free if you want to take her place?” She offered, giving him a mocking bow.

Lexa walked confidently towards her until she stopped when she reached the center of the circle. A child helped the wounded man to get up to sit him completing the circle.

“What are the rules?” He shook his head in her direction.

"Until you can't take it anymore," she added with a hint of wicked amusement in her voice. He smiled as the tips of his fingers enthusiastically brushed the edge of his sword. Lexa pouted her mouth before nodding.

The warrior attacked first with all her might. Lexa dodged the blow with agility and then returned it with the same force. Their swords clashed screeching at the contact.

Lexa's feet were firmly planted on the ground providing stability. The warrior slapped her shoulder against his but Lexa held her position as if nothing had happened.

Then, the warrior brought out a toothy smile. "You are skillful who would say it when ..." She brought her mouth to whisper in her nose.

Lexa ironic river."The value of a woman is not measured in the number of cocks she raises."

Their swords unhook and collide again this time with more fury. Lexa glared at her with a hard but triumphant look when she realized that the warrior's feet were dragged along the ground by her strength.

"Of course not," she growled in response, pulling away. She stepped back to catch her breath as she swung her sword gracefully.

"Because I'm only interested in lifting one."

Lexa frowned in surprise when she realized the gaze was directed at something behind her. Curiosity won the game when he followed the direction, meeting Jungkook and two warriors in the middle of a conversation in the distance. Lexa swallowed hot with the inexplicable heat that began to melt her insides.

She'd lost track of time so much that she didn't see Raven kicking her back, knocking her to the ground. Lexa coughed when dirt got into her mouth. Then, she turned angrily towards Raven who was smiling victoriously. Lexa was mentally punished for being so foolishly distracted when she was in the middle of a fight.

"It's funny that you are husband and wife but you sleep in different cabins," Raven continued with provocation.

"Trouble in paradise? Already realized that you are not worth anything?"

Lexa threw a blow to her stomach so hard that the warrior's body landed two feet away.

"If you're so anxious to take my place, do it." Lexa roared with her fists clenched and her nostrils dilated by her altered breathing.

Raven dropped to her knees with her hand on her stomach as she laughed wickedly and watched her in pain. "I already have."

Lexa blinked, not knowing why her body was completely paralyzed. Raven scrambled to her feet trying to punch directly into her jaw but Lexa didn't fall that time, intercepting her arm to twist him in the back and then kneeing her in the mouth, knocking her to the ground proclaiming herself the winner.

"Well, enjoy it," Lexa yelled passively, not showing the least bit of affection. He watched her from above in disgust as he circled her to get away from there not before releasing his last attack. “So much that you like to lift things try to get up now.”

[...]

"What was that?" Suho asked, walking slowly through the trees as he approached. Lexa under the arch, forgetting about the rabbit that ran free through a clearing. When he saw the expression on her face, he clicked his tongue at the surprisingly fast rumors that ran through his people.

"Comprehensive training," she clarified simply by pointing back to the clearing. She pursed her lips in a dissatisfied pout when she found it empty.

"And since when do you take a thorough training so seriously?" Suho scoffed, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"Do you like me?" Lexa asked hastily without a hint of lucidity in her voice or disturbed expression.

"What?" Eyelid Suho.

"As a woman."

"Oh," she uttered in surprise as her senses returned to stress. Suho gulped foolishly for taking a few seconds to start the mechanisms in her head again. "Are you smart, fair, and brave who wouldn't like you?

"I don't mean that, but the physical." Do you think men can like me? ”She sighed. She frowned sadly and bit her cheek nervously. Lexa had never been an insecure woman but she couldn't help falling into the labyrinth of doubt since she had that fight with Raven. Her voice sounded confident and firm without hesitation in her advances. She hated feeling so affected. She was envious of her experience and a strange avalanche of punctures in her stomach when she pictured her with Jungkook. Because it was obvious. There was something between them, why else would he let go of that without foundations on which to lean. There was also the possibility that she just wanted to give him a hard time but his head guided her to the first option over and over again.

-Why do you ask me that?

"It doesn't matter." Lexa smiled sheepishly avoiding her curious gaze. Never. But never. I would tell something so intimate to Suho.

"I think ..." Suho whispered, drawing her attention to the intimate tone she used. "... you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." You have the most beautiful smile in the world, Lexa.

Suho couldn't help but spread a medium smile. There was a warm glow in her eyes, too revealing a glow with feelings so far hidden from her. Lexa opened her eyes in surprise.

Feeling against the sword and the wall before her revealing gaze.

"Hmm ... do you think this area is suitable for camping?" Lexa added, turning her head towards the map.

"What?" She said absently. "Oh, yes, it's good," she answered calmly, still admiring the way her hair covered her left profile. Suho couldn't help but smile relaxed. "It's very good."

[...]

"This is it, thanks for listening." Lexa finished towards the councilors, saying goodbye with a polite smile. After the third and last meeting of the week on the previews of the new wall, she felt less weight to worry about. She sighed resignedly turning to Jungkook who kept his eyes fixed on the marked area simulating the limits just discussed. "I had thought we can use the old materials to build the wall." This way we will use the brick and we would have more to build more houses. — she said, looking askance at him, waiting patiently for the chestnut tree to react or say something that it did not do. for...

She wasn't aware of how quickly she stopped talking until Jungkook pressed her lips together in a desperate kiss. She opened her mouth, tucking her tongue in without warning. Lexa moaned in complete shock with her eyes open. Jungkook's hand tightened on her waist, pressing her to his chest. Lexa's hands were trapped in her shoulder area. Jungkook tilted his face and intensified the kiss.

Lexa closed her eyes slowly, letting go. Opening her mouth to receive her tongue. She sighed discard as she slid her hands up to his neck. His fingers gripped her hair and she stretched. Jungkook growled ecstatically bending down to lift her by her thighs and place her on the table. The map crumpled as her butt landed on top but they cared little.

Jungkook broke the kiss, creating a wet snap. Panting, her breath hit his face with a dark, wistful, wild gaze full of unstoppable lust. He brought his hands up to his cheeks. He moved his thumb affectionately, delighting in the softness of her skin to end up pressing his thumb to the soft skin of her lower lip. He approached in a quick kiss, letting out a satisfied moan when he felt her participation.

"Jungkook ..." He threw his head back as wet kisses began to come down his jaw. She stretched her roots again with excitement, taking another guttural growl. His hands slowly lowered down a path to his lower back until… “Jungkook!” An annoyed scream caused Jungkook to blink in confusion. He pouted his lips as he hugged her chest. Jungkook looked at her with a frown. "No, of course not." What's wrong I'm talking to you about important things?

"Why did you tell Raven that she liked to lift things?" He blurted out without warning importing anything or little that his thought had come out loud.

“What?” This time it was he who blinked in confusion. “It was just to provoke him.

"You spoke very loudly," he said, raising his eyebrows.

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Can we focus on this, please?"

She indicated the map with her hand, looking down at it again. Jungkook couldn't help but think how good his hair was.

Others would think it was foolish to notice that Lexa really had a beautiful profile. Her small and delicate jaw gave her face that innocent point that drove her crazy. She did not know but her face was very expressive showing everything that crossed her mind. He could tell when she was sad at the tilt of her mouth or how upset she was when she wrinkled her nose shrugging and making it more adorable.

Jungkook smiled mischievously at the conversion that began to play in his head as if it were his favorite song. Of course, I hear what Raven said what was not seen to come was that Lexa reacted so annoying. Her heart warmed to beat faster.

Then, she took advantage of the fact that she was distracted to approach from behind and stick her lips to his ear.

"She will never lift my cock as you do."

[...]

Hunting day.

Without a doubt, his favorite activity of the week. He was looking forward to it because it was the only time of the day when he could relax and breathe deeply the oxygen-rich air of the forest. Her lungs are grateful and certainly her head clear too.

Carefully advanced through the field by the number of thin sticks that will not hesitate to break at the slightest touch. She didn't know the area as well as she usually would, but that didn't stop her fighting spirit. She swore to herself that she would hunt good prey today.

A small innocent laugh changed the course of her attention. Not far from where he was he saw a girl of about eight years old smiling as she curiously observed a small bird on top of Jungkook's palm. Practically the smile was drawn alone on her face. Next, the little bird flew off causing the girl to rush out after him. Jungkook had a small smile making him look innocent and youthful.

Her disunited face in contrast to sunlight was, from now on, her favorite concept.

"I didn't know you could treat the children," Lexa commented, approaching slowly while sending her an amused look.

"I adore children especially how they are made," she said gracefully when she felt their steps approach from behind.

Jungkook looked at her recreating his typical arrogant smile in which his tongue struck the inside of the cheek.

"You are incredible," Lexa confessed, tempted. "It is not a compliment."

Although Jungkook clearly knew how to perceive the mockery and irony in his voice, something inside him was excited. He proceeded to follow her slowly, earning a sidelong glance from her.

"Your ass is also amazing." Lexa stopped walking and turned around with her eyes open. When she saw his eyes go up to her face when she turned around she couldn't help but blush. Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "Oh, it's not a compliment."

His mischievous laugh was a harsh blow to her who spread her blush to the tips of her ears in embarrassment. She had fallen into the game that she herself had created. Feeling too insulted when she looks at the ground, she doesn't think twice and bends down.

Jungkook stops when she notices something hit her back.

“Did you just throw a handful of dried leaves at me?” He asks, surprised, then slowly turns around.

Lexa refuses by pressing her lips together as she passes by like she's nothing.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

-No? Okay — falsely accept. Because when Lexa turns her back on him, Jungkook bends down and throws a dried pineapple at him.

"Hey!" She cries complaining and turns around. Bring your hand to your lower back to caress the area and thus relax the pain. Of course, Lexa frowns when Jungkook innocently shrugs. He raises his eyebrows and laughs wryly. Then he reaches down and throws a handful of dirt at her with small stones that end up dirtying her cheek. Jungkook coughs and Lexa laughs maniacally. She acknowledges that when Jungkook throws another dried pineapple at her chest, she starts having fun. Both succumb to the game and start throwing everything they see on the ground. They laugh together for the first time. Lexa can not help thinking that her laugh in a normal state is quite pleasant away from that dry sound that she usually emits when she laughs without emotion or grace.

When she stops listening to that melodious laugh she drops a handful of leaves and looks at it. She lets out a groan of surprise as her back hits the wood of a tree. Jungkook corners her in less than a second. He doesn't know what's going on but he feels a chill when he feels the hardness of his thigh brush against hers.

"Don't move, I've seen something among the trees," he says uneasily. He is about to complain when Jungkook places a hand on his shoulder and pushes him back towards the tree.

"It must have been an animal," he growls uncomfortably. His body is so big that it covers him in seconds. Her heart beats so hard that she's afraid Jungkook will notice if her chest keeps pressing against her like that.

"It wasn't a fucking animal." Jungkook's voice turns serious and dangerous as he lowers his head to look at her. Lexa is connected to her eyes without being able to avoid it. They are so dark that you could lose yourself in them and not complain about not finding the exit. Jungkook's breath directly hugged the upper skin of his lips making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He had never been so close to a man so he attributed his nerves to lack of habit but that did not take away the fact that he was also the first man his body trembled with the slightest touch. One hand was held firmly on top of his head while the other was off to the side. They were so close that the tips of his feet touched hers. Jungkook's lips remained in a neutral grimace combining with the seriousness reflected in his body. He knew he was tense from the way his shoulders were not resting from that straight line. He intended to say something but his mouth did not respond to his commands as if the connections in his head had lost touch with reality.

By having him this close he could have the privilege of analyzing his features in more detail. He hadn't even realized, until now, that just below his lower lip was a mole. And for some strange reason, he wanted to stretch a finger and squeeze it. Jungkook cleared his throat to catch his attention. Lexa cast a curious glance at him and then her cheeks turned red.

She looked away embarrassed for being so impulsive and caught on the spot. When in reality, Jungkook's discomfort hadn't been precise because of over-gaze but because of the way he did it. The dream returned to his mind when he noticed how his eyes traveled to detail his lips and certainly, this was a moment that could not be carried away by his primary impulses. So she decided to return to her tough posture. "I'm going to look at stay in place again."

Lexa rolled her eyes when I hear him so demanding. As she indicated, she walked away completely and then returned to where they had been playing.

"Do you see it? Nothing happens… Jungkook! ”Lexa shouted in fright as an arrow grazed the right side of her head knocking him to the ground. Jungkook was swinging his head on the ground while complaining sore eyes tight. Lexa ran towards him in a panic attack. She knelt down and tried to lift her head. "No, no shit." Jungkook? ”He was desperately searching for an answer, but Jungkook only produced moans that were getting weaker and weaker. I tilt my neck carefully to look at the wound. When he touched the blood on the tip of his ear and saw it black he cursed under his breath. "Poison ..." This one was different, this one was much more powerful and dangerous because it was not just a paralytic. He swallowed hard, laid his head gently on top of a mountain of leaves, and then got up. "Hold on, I'm going to get help, please just hold on."

[...]

Despite the fact that things had gone well and no misfortune had arisen, she could not feel completely relieved. As he ran toward the camp, he caught a glimpse of a man running in the opposite direction. He forced himself not to follow him because Jungkook was more important. He was afraid that the man would come back and hurt him at seeing him so unprotected but again, he forced his legs to keep running.

This was not the time for his paranoia.

Fortunately, Jin was in his cabin and in possession of the antidote. He dipped the red seaweed tea in a handkerchief and placed it on his ear to absorb the poison. Two hours later, Jungkook woke up and as soon as he regained the notion of reality he returned to his clan's affairs. He ignored Jin's warnings and left as soon as his legs left him.

For that very reason, after his last meeting with the council, on his way back to his cabin, he ran into a worried Jin. After that, he wasn't even aware of what went out the door.

"Jin said you didn't want to heal yourself." The girl's voice sounded annoyed as she made her way deeper into the cabin. Jungkook, who had been studying a map on the table, turned irritably.

"It is foolish to waste supplies when there are bigger wounds to take care of."

"At least let me take a look at you," he asked, pulling up the small white bag to put it in his line of sight. "Sit at the desk, please."

Jungkook frowned at her but finally ended up obeying and going to the table to sit down. I interlock my fingers and click my tongue in annoyance. Lexa ignored her childish attitude. She indicated with her fingers to tilt her head. A gesture she made against her will but in silence.

"You see?" Jungkook replied wryly, raising his eyebrows. Lexa looked at him seriously when Jungkook turned his head again.

"What I see is an open wound that, if not healed, can become infected," he reproaches with annoyance. It was true, Jin's superficial treatment had made the wound a mere scratch, but she still had a fresh layer of dried blood on the tip of her ear. He breathed in focusing on the task. He reached out for a piece of cotton, dipped it in rubbing alcohol, then put it on the wound. Jungkook groaned plaintively at the sting moving in place.

Lexa pursed her lips. "Sorry."

"Were you worried about me?"

Lexa stopped looking at the wound as soon as she perceived the softness of his tone. Flashing nervously, she cleared her throat and concentrated on cleaning the blood again. "Don't be so self-centered, I worry about everyone the same."

“Sure?” Her tone had suddenly dropped, becoming intimate and personal. The cotton was suspended in midair when Jungkook turned his head to connect his gaze to hers. Lexa frowned a few seconds before relaxing her face. He perceived her seriousness in his penetrating gaze. Set and firm on yours. They had never looked at her like that. They had never left her speechless with a glance. And when Jungkook slowly started to get closer his mind flew into dangerous territory.

"Don't turn your face I can't see your ear." She growled annoyed to hide her nervousness. He caught her chin and turned her face again.

"Are you going to see your mother tomorrow?"

"Yes, I haven't been in a while."

"Then I will go with you."

"No need, Suho ...

"I do not care. I wanna go."

"Okay," she accepted, confused by his sudden interest. "You saved my life, I'm going to have to start taking you with me everywhere."

"I was used to it ..." Jungkook pronounced, taking a scowl from Lexa. Seeing that he was not responding, he shook his head in denial and returned to his task.

[...]

Now that the two clans were unified and the roads opened, the distance and time to travel were considerably less. Before, when he suffered those longings for freedom and escaped to the forest, it took him more than half an afternoon to return home. Now he realized that time was no longer going to be a tedious burden.

But undoubtedly, a considerable change to consider was the look of his subjects. Before, they treated her as an equal now they watched her from a distance with a shy look. But he knew it was not for her, the citizens did not fear his presence but Jungkook's. And it was normal, he was a foreigner who had been forced to fear above all else.

His mother was still occupying the usual cabin, so when she was at the beginning of the camp, it didn't take long for her to stand in front of their doors. The atmosphere was tense, he knew it very well because he could feel the thoughtful air. The two men behind him had been silent the entire way creating an atmosphere filled with awkward silence.

He tightened the reins to hold the hair still so he could get down from it. Suddenly, he noticed movement in his rear when he turned his head, large hands adjusted at his waist, and helped lower it. Lexa widened her eyes when her feet finally landed on the ground. Intuitively she placed her palms on top of her chest to stabilize her body. When she noticed the hardness of her muscles, she looked up. Jungkook intensified him as if he wanted to speak to her from that gesture, show him a longing that he had not seen reflected before.

The sound of a cracked door opening made them slowly come to their senses.

“Lexa?” With an excited tone, her mother turned to her, surprised by her visit. He wrapped his arms around her neck to press her against his chest as he had always done. Lexa inhaled the smell of roses from her mother's feeling at home. "What are you doing here ...

When her gaze fell on Jungkook as they parted, the words got stuck in her mouth.

"It's been a while since I came and I missed you," Lexa added with a melancholic smile capturing her mother's attention. She pursed her lips in delight as she analyzed her daughter. I caress her cheek and then gently curl a strand of hair.

"You are prettier, you eat well, right?"

"Yes, mom," he replied monotonously, but still emitting that smiling aura.

"I'll be back later so we can get back together." When Jungkook spoke his mother frowned and Lexa looked at him confused.

“Aren't you going to stay for lunch?” After her mother's offer, Jungkook felt her body freeze.

"I don't want to disturb her, ma'am." Although Jungkook's voice had come out it would be his calm face hiding nothing but shame. Ever since he had noticed her presence Lexa's mother had been nervous and certainly he too. She did not like to be observed, much less annoying than the reunion between mother and daughter.

Lexa's mother protested. "That I have not agreed to the terms of your marriage does not mean that I do not respect my daughter's decisions. As things have been you are still my son-in-law and therefore part of my family now. So if you both go inside ...

Lexa looked around with a frown meeting only the three of them. Suho had left without saying anything and that started to worry.

"... and by the gods call me mother no lady."

Jungkook nodded rhythmically as if he had just received a military order. His mother re-entered the cabin followed by Jungkook, Lexa said goodbye to the outside with a sorry look still looking for his friend.

[...]

The food had not been as tense as expected, his mother had managed to get Jungkook to release his tongue and that he would abandon that serious and lonely posture for a moment. When Lexa finished her last bite of roast chicken, she slowly got up from the table and proceeded to carry the plate into the kitchen. I put it on top of the steel counter and then turned to go back. However, a small drawing hanging on the wall with a skewer caught her attention. She came closer to admire the painting more closely.

She couldn't help but chuckle shaking her shoulders at the poorly scribbled paper. It was her father and her. Lexa had given that drawing to her father for her birthday, immortalizing that day when they went to see the birth of the tents. She certainly did not expect her mother to keep her away.

Hearing the sound of a plate hitting the counter behind her, she rolled her eyes and broke her smile.

"If you're going to tell me again that love is weakness, better go back the way you came." I exhale tiredly facing the wall. She did not feel like arguing knowing that her mother was only a room away and that she could hear everything but she could not shut her mouth and let it pass because she was not for talks full of the pure and empty feeling of life.

"It's what my father taught me," Jungkook said calmly resting a hand on the counter. Lexa raised an eyebrow and turned on her feet in annoyance.

However, when I did not notice that mischief in her voice nor that arrogant posture, she began to feel intrigued. Her shoulders leaned down and her gaze seemed to be drowned in rage. I've never seen her like this. Then, she repeated her words in her mind slowly, paying attention to each one of them. She had just named her father. The ancient Heda of the Iron Clan. She couldn't help but feel curious about him because his father didn't even tell him those things claiming that she wasn't ready for such.

“Since when are you Heda?” The question came out on its own as if it were in thought out loud that it needed to get out before it rotted inside.

Jungkook raised his eyebrows contemptuously as he said, "Since I was thirteen."

"And your mother?"

"She died of an infection in a pandemic." She didn't seem hurt at all treating the subject as if it were just one more in her life. Lexa felt terrible grief adjust in her chest. She was really so calm that she was scared of her indifference.

"Don't you miss your parents?"

"They never acted as such because they should?" And there was the reason. Jungkook demonstrated so many things at once that his confused brain was slow to see them all at once. Answered questions normally. He hadn't even been affected by answering the age question. By God, since he was thirteen years many others have passed. How can a child face the role of Heda when she, at her age and with a supposed training and maturity, still showed some discomfort when assuming responsibilities. It must have been quite shocking and disturbing.

"And you?"

Lexa blinked lost. "A lot." He confessed weakly. Then a small nostalgic smile filled her lips. "My father was a little harsh sometimes but not too much he always fixed it with a smile."

Jungkook nodded instantly with the same aura of nonchalance. He didn't know exactly why, but seeing him so serious and frigid, his body began to walk alone forward. Jungkook's arms were suspended in midair as Lexa buried her head in his chest and wrapped her small hands around his waist. It took Jungkook a minute to react by wrapping his lower back and pulling her to his body so that his chin rested on top of his head.

"I'm supposed to be comforting you," Jungkook commented closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of Lexa tuck him in gently. His strawberry scent went up to his nostrils, making him his favorite scent.

Jungkook smiled helplessly as his tired sigh bounced off his chest. "Stop growling so much."

[...]

She turned her fifteenth turn on the bed before finally turning on her side. His hand was under her pillow and her legs were on top of each other. Although she will try to close her eyes and allow herself to be overcome by fatigue, her body had other plans that night. It was so strange because I was sleepy. Her eyelids drooped wearily but her eyes didn't want to close. Finally, and after half an hour later, she sighed in defeat and closed her eyes to sleep.

A sharp surface brushed her neck causing her eyes to squeeze uncomfortably as she brought her hand to it a strong arm turned her face up.

"I should have done this from the beginning." Realizing that it was not a dream and that both the pressure on her neck and the terrifying voice were real she desperately opened her eyes to meet a man on top of her body. She opened her mouth to ask for help but her hand covered her mouth immediately. "No bitch tonight you won't be the same luck."

The fingers around her nose closed, pressing on her nostrils. The man laughed pleased when his legs stirred urgently. I was so scared. So annoying. So disgusted by feeling so touched. With her hand on her mattress, she began to feel the surface quickly when she brushed the ass of her glass bottle she didn't think twice before hitting her on the head.

“Bitch!” She moaned loudly, touching her head. Her body fell to the side from the impact giving her the space to sneak towards the door. But when she was about to open the door, her filthy fingers pulled her ankle down causing her to have to put her hands forward to avoid hitting her mouth on the ground.

Lexa threw a kick that landed on her face. The man cursed when her plant deflected the septum from her nose. But that only caused the rage to turn into a fire that was impossible to quench. He tugged on her ankle, dragging her back under him. This time he wasted no time and his fingers wrapped tightly around her neck. Lexa sucked in strangled moans as she felt oxygen leaking from her lungs. Her legs were flailing furiously but when her thumbs clenched the hollow of her windpipe the movements stopped executing due to lack of oxygen supply. With her last breath, she continued to search for something on the ground when she felt something sharp lead her forward, driving a piece of broken glass into the socket of her eye.

The man released her in a brutal scream bringing his hands to her pierced eye as she crawled over to her chair to rest her back.

The door opened so hard that the hinges broke. Jungkook ran into Lexa as two soldiers approached the man to arrest him on the ground.

"Lexa!" Jungkook yelled desperately but she had already passed out from the effort.

[...]

"Swallow," Jin asked worriedly. I remove the spoon from his mouth and Lexa swallowed the jelly with difficulty. He closed his eyes when the softness touched the walls of his throat but soon after the pain began to lessen becoming bearable. When Jin noticed the relaxation on his face, he smiled regretfully. "You will take this every time you eat or talk a lot. It will help with swelling and reduce itching.

Lexa nodded so as not to form the vocal cords. Sometime later the door opened, causing her to divert her attention to it.

"How are you?" Jungkook asked, seriously leaning against the door frame. The tension in his shoulders told him that he was still on alert, his hoarse tone still annoying.

"Where is?"

"He's in the dungeons. Now answer me."

"Is he the one who attacked you?" She didn't need an answer when he noticed how Jungkook's eyes hardened. "I don't understand, Suho was at my door like ha ... OMG! Suho okay?"

"He's fine."

"Then why don't I believe you?" She frowned in annoyance at his sudden caution. Jungkook avoided his gaze making him more nervous. "Can you speak clearly?"

"We have found Suho unconscious."

Lexa opened her eyes in fright. "Has that man done something to you?" If something happens to her because of her, she would never forgive me ... I have to see it."

Jungkook strode to the stretcher when the girl tried to get up from the stretcher to run towards the door.

"Lexa, stop." Jungkook's large hands tightened on her shoulders to sit her down but she hysterically denied.

"Don't ask me when my friend is hurt!"

“He's not hurt, he was drunk, dammit!” Jungkook's scream stopped all activity in his system. His face paled and his chest clenched.

"What?" I breathe incredulously.

Jungkook looked down before looking at her indecisively. "That's why that son of a bitch could easily pass because your friend was sleeping."

[...]

After an arduous week on the stretcher in Jin's cabin, he was finally able to be discharged and take up his duties again. Jungkook had been holding the position of Heda Celeste in his absence, which he was grateful for, when he took over again he realized that there was not much work to do. The only pending thing that could not be attended to by him was the man who slept in the dungeons.

He had explicitly ordered that he should not be given water and that he should be given only a piece of meat a day. That man was a bounty hunter with many deaths behind him, he deserved nothing more worthy.

“Are you going to judge me?” He asked, staring blankly at the floor. She was sitting on the throne in the assembly hall waiting for Suho. When he entered, he looked at her so seriously that he knew what she was thinking.

"You are my Heda, I will accept everything you decide." She did not like the respectful and distant tone he used.

Lexa frowned in embarrassment and then looked at him.

For God's sake, how did they get to this?

"Is what they say true? You have sentenced a man."

"He was a murderer."

"He was unarmed!"

"Me too!" She screamed loudly causing an outrageous echo to form. Suho raised his chin indignantly. "I don't expect you to accept it because I no longer require your morality."

"You are not the same."

"Neither do you," she replied with all the pain in her soul. Suho stopped forcing his gaze relaxing her in a full of regret. He took a step toward her but she reached out, stopping.

"It won't happen again, I promise."

"I can not risk."

"You know I would give my life for you."

"I know."

"He put it in your head."

"Jungkook has nothing to do with it."

“Then why are you looking at me like I want to hurt you!” He roared furiously, causing Lexa to leap onto her throne. Her jaw clenched so tightly that blood began to collect in her head. When she saw how fearful Lexa's eyes expand, she stopped clenching her fists and straightened her regretful body.

"Have you been drinking again?" Lexa asked, leaving him speechless. Suho felt so ashamed and so insulted at the same time that he turned around and ran out of the room. Lexa pursed her lips to hold back a sob. Tears welled up in her eyes almost out of necessity out of helplessness.

"You shouldn't let a simple soldier affect your decisions." A serious voice sounded from behind her but she never took her eyes off the door.

"Suho only wants the best for me," I whisper shattered in a passive tone. Jungkook swallowed hard when he couldn't stop his emotions from overpowering his character.

"Me too." He sighed on his knees in front of her. Lexa looked at him instantly with longing. "And so, I ask you to let me protect you."

[...]

"The decision is yours," Jungkook mentioned, turning his head in her direction so that only she would get the message. Lexa maintained too insane eye contact with her attacker who lay tied hand and foot to a stick in the middle of the plaza. Just below him were the woods. Around her, the crowds screaming for justice.

"Dann*." The sentence came out so easily that it scared her. She kept a stiff expression to avoid being affected by the looks that began to haunt her.

Automatically the citizens shouted euphoric at her decision.

"Jus drein jus daun! *"

She opened her mouth, removing her sitting posture when she saw a warrior light the torch and lower it towards the branches to light them. When the fire came Lexa closed her eyes instinctively. However, feeling a glance over her, he opened them again. When she found that pair of eyes among the people her stomach clenched. Suho watched her disappointed, sad, and lost. Lexa pursed her lips as the pressure on her chest caused her eyes to water. After that Suho was disappearing among the people until no trace of him was left.

Screams of pain rang out loudly, Lexa diverted people's attention and when she looked forward her chest heaved and her eyes widened in horror. A tear ran down her cheek at the scene so macabre. The smell of burned skin was the one that urged her to get up from her seat and flee traumatized to her cabin. When she slammed the door shut, she started screaming hysterically.

By the gods what have I done?

What the fuck have I done?

She covered her mouth with her palm to keep the sobs from coming out but it was too late all she did was delay it. It was already wrong from Suho's disappointed look and that of the man ...

Holy God!

The air began to lack so badly that she began to sweat and consequently feel overwhelmed when the dress was embedded as a second skin. She reached up to her dress and pulled it out desperately. She hugged her bare breasts as the night breeze blew in through the window. Her shoulders trembled with cold and her wailing muffled moans. She closed her eyes tightly trying to calm herself but ended up opening them exasperated when she saw in the dark the image of that man burning alive.

A finger stroked the line of her spine, bristling her skin. She bit back a gasp and her body stopped shaking as the softness of lips caressed the skin of her ear.

"Are you sad?" He whispered hoarsely, allowing himself to be filled with sweetness. Her eyes closed again as a hard chest completely covered her bareback."Let me comfort you. Just let me help you forget about everything. I can do it I'm very good at it."

"Then do it," she asked without being aware of her actions. Her arms still tightened crosswise as she turned to face him. She opened her eyes slowly, meeting a gaze as dark as night. She was scared because she had gone from controlling her movements to letting go. Jungkook stretched out one of her hands to stroke her cheek with the tips of her fingers. Jungkook suddenly stopped smiling, replacing her expression with a more serene and analytical one. She stepped closer, closing the distance. Her slowness was sweet torture but deep down she was grateful that it gave her time to get used to it.

He brought his fingers to her chin and lifted her head. Lexa closed her eyes and parted her lips. Then, Jungkook bowed his head and kissed her sweetly. It wasn't a quick kiss, nor was it a proper kiss, since there was only a superficial contact. When Jungkook separated almost instantly Lexa opened her eyes weakly. Her gaze had darkened, she had grown wilder, more eager.

Lexa parted her lips again but closed them again when Jungkook pounced again this time more eagerly. The passion of the kiss took her by surprise but she didn't complain because when Jungkook opened her mouth tight to deepen the kiss she let it dominate her mouth. Jungkook's hands snapped to her waist, pulling her body forward to hit her chest.

She felt comforting heat build-up on the skin under her palm. Her hands were so large that they practically covered her entire back. Jungkook groaned and raised his hand to his face to incline him further.

Lexa gasped as she felt the tip of her tongue touch her lower lip, she wasn't even aware of what was happening until Jungkook's tongue entered her mouth to embrace hers with passion.

Lexa uncovered her arms feeling suddenly brave and brought them to the nape of her neck. He dipped his fingers through the strands of her hair and stretched them ecstatically as Jungkook reached down to his behind and knead it hard. Jungkook let out a throaty moan and leaned his body closer, holding her almost under him. Lexa took a step closer by sticking her tits to her chest. Her nipples bristled completely from the rubbing of the fabric of his shirt. Jungkook put his hand to the nape of his neck and formed a fist of hair as he opened his mouth more for a stronger kiss. Saliva gushed from their corners like a waterfall but they didn't care because the wet sound of their lips coming together was worth it. Taking advantage of his hair grip Jungkook cut the kiss in a snap. His altered breaths cooled and heated the skin of his lips creating such an exciting contrast. Jungkook rolled his eyes down his face analyzing his appearance. His cock jerked into his pants when he saw her with her mouth open as her lip trembled and her eyes narrowed with excitement. He growled desperately drawing her to his mouth eagerly. Lexa hugged the back of her neck receiving her kiss submissively.

When Jungkook again separated god two steps back to contemplate the fullness of his body. Soon his eyes delighted in the turgidity of his pale chest with spiked nipples, the wonderful line that went down to his navel from training and especially the tiny white panties with a dark stain.

"Shit, you're beautiful." Jungkook sighed gone. Lexa was too embarrassed to see the hunger in her gaze proceeding to lower her head to hide her flushed cheeks.

But Jungkook had other plans, he brought his fingers to his chin and lifted her so that he could see her eyes. Lexa held what little breath she had left after the kissing session when Jungkook gave her the warmest smile she had ever seen while as she approached, she rested her eyes on her bare breasts. When she was close enough that there was almost no distance between them, the fingers that hugged her chin went up to her mouth to run her thumb over her lower lip. "Be a good girl and let me prove you."

She pressed her lips together in a slow kiss with her tongue before abruptly parting causing Lexa to follow her mouth unconsciously.

I blink drunk with pleasure watching Jungkook guide his mouth down her cheek giving her a wet kiss that also caused her bottom to get wet. He rubbed his thighs urgently as his tongue drew a line down her lower jaw almost touching her neck. The fingers at the nape of her neck tugged at the root inadvertently causing Jungkook to growl and go on to attack her neck mercilessly. Lexa squeezed her eyes shut at the feel of his lips closing on her skin to suck. His mouth began to travel to the area of ​​her clavicle where he bit her and pampered her with kisses with his tongue.

She kept going down to the line of her breasts where her tongue slipped. Then she brought her mouth to an already erect nipple and bit into it as one hand came up to knead the other.

His hand clenched the fist of hair at the nape of his neck and pressed it to his skin. Her belly flinched as her tongue sank to her navel but what undoubtedly made her body shudder from the balls of her feet to her head was the kiss she gave on the line of her pelvis. I swallow nervously when I notice how the garment swirled around her fingers. Jungkook raised his eyes to hers to get his blessing when Lexa bit her lower lip and closed her fist on the nape of her neck. Jungkook smirked, lowering afterward still with eye contact his lips towards the stained area of ​​her panties. Then her fingers proceeded to stretch the garment down until it was jammed at her ankles. Lexa shifted her feet so that she will leave her body completely. Jungkook grabbed her leg and placed it over her shoulder. Next, he placed a small kiss on her inner thigh area. Lexa swallowed nervously when she noticed that the kisses did not stop and that they were on a descending path. She didn't know what she was doing until she jumped embarrassed when she felt his cold tongue caress her folds mischievously. A shy moan came from her lips as she ran her tongue back this time going deeper. God, never, ever, thought that someday he could feel so much pleasure. Never, ever, she thought that Jungkook on her knees could be the most exciting thing in the world. She brought her fingers up to separate her lips for better access. When he kissed her red button it swelled accordingly earning a loud moan. Lexa threw her head back at the endless sensations she began to feel. Without hesitation, he inserted his tongue into her hole making Lexa squeal and then cover her embarrassed mouth.

Jungkook laughed still with his lips pressed to her skin causing her too sensual a vibration. He brought his mouth back to her swollen clitoris to suck with force, then Lexa felt a cramp run through her body that ended up causing a ball inside her belly to explode and her body to suffer spasms. Jungkook licked him to orgasm with delight, kissed his clit again, carrying a whimpering groan from the overstimulation, and then sat up again. He brought his hands up to his waist to keep Lexa's body from rushing back. The girl opened her eyes dizzy when she felt his breath hit her nose. Jungkook licked his lips gladly tasting and tasting again the product of his orgasm causing Lexa to blush immediately.

He hooked his leg to her hip and laid her on his bed, placing himself on top of her. Afterward, Jungkook kissed her lips again ecstatically making Lexa feel his taste in her saliva. He returned his kisses down the column of her throat stopping this time in her ear to whisper hoarsely. "Your pussy is so sweet ... I wonder if it will feel like that around my cock." He caught the earlobe with his teeth and I stretch it sensually. Lexa groaned, crinkling her shirt eagerly. His hand went down her skin, ending in her pelvis, which took the boldness of a palm tree. "Open your legs more, baby."

Lexa obeyed dazedly, dizzy from so much pleasure. Jungkook stuck out his thumb and stroked her clit in a circular motion. Lexa moaned softly, opening her legs wider. Next, she sank the same finger slowly into her hole, taking another cry of complaint from the girl.

"It hurt..."

"Yes, I know ..." he whispered softly on her cheek before kissing the tip of her nose. "... but you have to prepare for my cock since your small pussy is too tight." lips. Lexa nodded slowly. She brought her hands to the area of her shoulder blades and squeezed hard when she felt another finger go through her hole. Bufo buried his mouth on her shoulder as he tried to focus on the pleasure that gradually began to lessen the sting. She moaned with pleasure, spreading her legs wider, urging Jungkook to introduce the third. Movement shoves out of her fingers soon became insufficient.

"Please Jungkook ..." she pleaded breathlessly, running her nails through the fabric of the shirt.

"Please what, baby?" He whispered with too perverse amusement as he kissed the shell of her ear and increased the movement of her fingers.

"I want ... I want ..." but she was silenced by a needy moan when a fourth finger entered inside her small vagina.

"Fuck ..." he cursed under his breath, giving her a quick kiss before getting down on his knees in front of her. She pulled the shirt over her head, exposing her wonderful puffy pecs and her wonderful chiseled belly with stone-like abs. Her legs spread wider on their own at the image causing Jungkook to growl like a horny animal as he brought his free finger up to her clit to stroke it in circles. When Lexa lashed out at her second orgasm, I swear her breath was out. With her eyes clouded she saw how she could as Jungkook got up to take off her pants. He was surprised that she didn't bother wearing underwear but all those thoughts stopped making sense when she looked down at his cock. Her eyes widened at his width and length. Her mouth practically opened by itself when she saw how big it was. She panicked because she began to doubt if that big cock would fit in her inexperienced little hole. Jungkook brought his right hand up the spine and slowly muttered himself, still looking into her eyes. He groaned plaintively at feeling so needy. I bring two fingers to her mouth and place them on her lip.

"Open her" he ordered hoarsely but very needy. Lexa opened her mouth wider allowing both fingers to enter her mouth to bathe with the moisture of her tongue. Then, he brought those same fingers to the base of his cock to stroke it over her. Jungkook moaned, nodding backward, then stared at her sharply. Lexa swallowed nervously. Then his great body fell on top of hers to give her a wet kiss. Lexa spread her legs wider so that she will be more comfortable. He circled her waist and squeezed her hard when he felt his cock hit her stomach. She almost died right there, feeling the inhuman softness of her cock's skin. He parted his lips in a wet snap and looked at her seriously again. Jungkook drove the tip of his cock into her entrance to caress her up and down to cover her with his juices. Lexa spread her legs wider and he growled, kissing her again. She parted again and sighed on her lips.

She put a hand to her chin to connect her eyes. "Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop. Please tell me."

Lexa nodded as the last answer before everything will begin. Of course, it hurt when she inserted the tip. She felt a hideous tear of skin that ached like a thousand demons. When she complained in a silent moan Jungkook froze and looked at her cautiously.

"Don't stop ..." he pleaded without air. I scratch his lower back causing him to tuck in a little more. Jungkook groaned as he lowered his nose to hers to brush against her movement. When he finally reached up to the hilt Lexa groaned in need as she gazed at him pleadingly, her eyes teary with emotion.

Jungkook rushed his lips to hers as he began his coupling slowly. Lexa broke the kiss to moan eagerly bringing desperate hands to the nape of her neck to continue with the kiss. Jungkook released an animal roar as he rolled his hips sensually and she clenched her fingers.

"Fucking tight pussy," he growled giving a deep thrust that made them both moan. Lexa began to notice how their bodies floated with sweat. Her demolishing eyes kept a frown as she increased speed. She let out an open moan before smiling wickedly over her mouth. "So good to me, my baby."

Lexa automatically brought her nails to her back and squeezed. Jungkook had just claimed as his own and although in other circumstances he would have yelled a couple of insults at him, this time, he opened his mouth more to moan.

"You sweet baby can only receive my cock." No one else's. Only mine. ”She growled in her ear, annoyed, hitting her thigh causing her to moan and jump hard. She left a path of scratches on her back that ended at the nape of her neck again. Jungkook came back to face his face with pressed noses. "Say you only want my cock. Say only this pussy can be fucked by me. ”He shouted ecstatically as he increased the depth of her hips. Lexa threw her head back but Jungkook's fingers tightened at the nape of her neck and forced her to look at him. A spanking on his butt made his moan.

"Yes ..." I sob from the force of his thrusts. "Only you ... Only you can fuck me ... Oh shit!" She screamed when her orgasm came with more force than the previous ones. She collapsed onto the bed, leaving herself at the mercy of her need.

Two more thrusts and Jungkook was jerking wildly to drop his load on her stomach.

"Shit ..." he cursed contentedly as he fell to the side of the girl's body. He covered his eyes with his forearm widening his bicep. Then he wrapped his waist around her and pulled her to his chest with his leg pressed to her hip. Lexa frowned tiredly feeling suddenly at ease when a honey scent completely seduced her.

[...]

In caresses, his finger wandered down her back from top to bottom. He couldn't stop staring at her and he certainly would never tire of admiring her natural beauty as he slept on her chest. If Jungkook was completely honest, there was no adequate sleep conciliator because his eyes did not want to close for fear that what was in front of him was nothing more than the product of a good dream. And if so, he did not want to wake up.

I gently brush stubborn strands of his cheek to better admire his profile. His face was so serene and so pure. It seemed like a mirage for how the light that filtered through the window panes reflected on his face. He looked like a clear angel that his character was far from one. Jungkook smiled at his thought. Afterward, he placed his lips gently on her forehead and hugged her to his body, growling in satisfaction as he closed his eyes.

"Ai hod yu en * ...

“Lexa, can we talk?” A male voice and the sound of a squeaking door put him on alert acting as a reflex act to catch the blanket to cover their bodies.

“Call before you come in, asshole!” Jungkook growled, radiating as he got up, helped by the support of his hand. The scandal of the voices was so disturbing that Lexa groaned sleepily and then opened her eyes.

“Mmm?” She murmured groggily as she waited for her gaze to adjust to the intensity of the light. When she did, she watched Jungkook absentmindedly, then looked at her blanket-covered body. He frowned looking in the direction he was glaring at and then saw it. To her best friend with wide eyes and a look full of pain and sadness. "Suho?" But he wasn't looking at her but at Jungkook. When her mind was fully awake, she opened her eyes in exaltation. "No, wait!" Lexa cried desperately, extending her hand forward as if she could touch him from a distance, but Suho quickly left the room with the door slamming behind her. He'll come in! "he yelled in the direction of Jungkook who frowned annoyed. It was ... It was on purpose! About last night..."

“Last night has nothing to do with this!” She roared in outrage as she denied.

Lexa blinked. "I shouldn't have trusted you," she sobbed, getting out of bed as fast as she could grab the dress, put it on over her head, and run out the door. "Suho!"

“Lexa!” Jungkook called desperately but she ignored him. When he slammed the door, Jungkook cursed, throwing the pillow on the floor. "Fuck."

[...]

"Suho stop!" Lexa ran after him, not caring about curious glances, not caring about the sharp stones that puncture his plant, but he didn't seem to care either. "I order you to stop!"

Suho stopped his body abruptly and then turned around. There was so much pain and so much anger in his gaze that Lexa gulped.

"That you want to explain you are his wife, it is normal that you take care of him." He assumed with a venomous irony so harmful that Lexa does not remember another scene in which he will behave so impulsively.

"I don't want to hurt you," she shook her head. She frowned sadly and pursed her lips regretfully. Really, hurting her was never in her plans. He never wanted to break her heart but he couldn't lie. Jungkook awakened things that he with so many years of friendship never managed to develop. He didn't know when it happened alone that it just happened like that, without realizing it.

"Well, you already have," Suho sobbed painfully before making his way back and leaving his chest tight.

[...]

The tension was palpable in the environment. He had decided to march in front of the warrior formation so as not to meet Jungkook as well as Suho. I was confused. She never had been. Her head ached from all the feelings she was unable to command. She felt happy because she had spent what would probably be the best night of her life but at the same time, she felt like a total hypocrite because her happiness had destroyed his friend.

As Lexa thought with her head down, Suho followed Jungkook's horse closely. She struck her back with so much hatred that it could form a whole. When they reached the river bank and decided to take a water break, Suho soon followed him toward the shore.

"What a coincidence that you suddenly become interested in Lexa when all you have done is harass her." He did not hide the contempt in his voice as he approached where Jungkook filled his canteen with river water flexing his knees.

“Harass her?” Jungkook asked smiling, still looking at the stream. Then she got up slowly and denied. "At least I'm able to respect your feelings, asshole."

"Because of the affection I feel, I will not allow you to play with her."

"Is that all you feel for her?" Honey? ”Jungkook replied with a dangerous grace. I raise an ironic eyebrow as I scanned his body.

"You don't know anything about me," Suho growled feeling disgusted by also feeling too observed.

"It is not difficult to know. Surely you have been in love with Lexa since childhood, you always approached with the excuse of wanting to protect her when we both know that you had other intentions."He took a break before smiling again." It must have been quite shocking to see us together in her bed."

"No, not really," Suho replied nonchalantly. Jungkook nodded in amusement. "Because I know he didn't stop thinking about me."

Jungkook gave a wicked chuckle.

"You don't think much when you fuck like that."

"Just because she was forced to marry you does not mean she is forced to love you," she replied to his laughter with a more concise and borderline. Jungkook hardened his features. "I am his best friend, do you really think that for a moment she would choose you?"

"I wouldn't make her choose to begin with," Jungkook sentenced seriously. He left there before he really lost his temper and hit the punch he so badly wanted to land on his stupid jaw. She closed her eyes trying to calm down. I really didn't want to cause Lexa more trouble.

[...]

From the bottom of his chest, he emitted a bleak sigh. Things were going from bad to worse with Suho. A couple of hours ago I had seen him leave with a group of soldiers. They had seen each other from a distance but immediately Suho looked away and then disappeared through the gates of the camp as if nothing had happened. He couldn't help but feel bad, but should he? She was so confused ... So upset with the voices in her head. She had to act like an adult and speak things or she had to act like a child and leave things to be fixed over time, no doubt, that was the worst option.

“Are you going to continue to ignore me?” A hoarse voice that he recognized instantly broke into the council room. Lexa reached up to the ends of the table to squeeze the wood.

"Because of you, I have lost my best friend." She tried to sound cold and hard but the only thing that succeeded with that was that when looking at her and observing her furrowed gaze her chest oppressed.

"You are fucking unfair, Lexa." Her annoyed voice reflected what she felt right now. Her gaze was so intense that the girl looked away like a coward. "Do you think this is easy for me?"

"What do you want? You don't even know, do you? "She snorted as her sharp words slipped with difficulty out of her lips." Last night was a mistake, I was in low spirits and you took advantage of it."

"That's really what you felt or what you've forced yourself to believe so as not to disappoint your fucking friend!"

"You don't know me." Hearing his growl, she responded with the same intensity.

"It is true because the Lexa that is in front of me now does not look at all like the Lexa that was with me last night." She perceived so much nostalgia and longing that her anger quickly evaporated from her body. She looked up and looked at him hesitantly. Why listen to him so hurt and see how his gaze hardened by his rejection developed in her a feeling of guilt that began to come out in the form of an uncontrollable tremor.

"I don't want to hurt his," she finally confessed the demons that torment her head. It was true. Suho was probably one of the most significant people in his life, if he didn't want to be a part of her anymore, surely Lexa would never meet someone so special again. But then, then there was Jungkook. That arrogant, arrogant chestnut that had not done anything since he met him always put her in a bad mood. Until last night, when she showed him with her kisses and caresses that the connection that united them from the first time she looked into his eyes was not temporary. It was her first time. Her first kiss and quite possibly the first man to shake her heart so hard. But then, she would go back to Suho again. She wouldn't approve of it and that meant she had to get away from Jungkook until she cleared her feelings.

Jungkook clicked his tongue.

"And would you rather do it?"

His words burned into her memory. Not only for the softness but also, for the sentimentality with which he had spoken. So much feeling in a damn phrase that made his come out and mix with his.

He swallowed hard. "I ...

Lots of screaming immediately distracted the two of them. They both looked at each other in alarm before running out the door. When they saw the environment at the entrance to the camp they knew that something was wrong. Lexa desperately searched the crowd for brown hair when she couldn't find it, she desperately marched towards the only soldier in her unit she knew.

"Ton, what happened?" Lexa asked, suffocated by the screams of pain from the wounded. There was one who collapsed to the ground and started screaming as if possessed. A nurse came up and helped carry him into a cabin. As the scene receded the soldier looked at him again.

"The mountain soldiers attacked us when we crossed the river," he said, agitated by the pain of his poorly healed wound in the leg. Lexa increased the frequency of her breathing almost instantly. Her eyes widened and then she asked altered:

"Where's Sohu?"

"In Jin's cabin," she pointed out quickly. She didn't even finish talking because the girl had started running towards her friend's cabin. She started to get worse. Stretching at the roots hysterically when it dawned on her that if she was in Jin's cabin that was more serious than the rest.

When she came banging the door hard against the wall, she covered her mouth when she saw her lying on a stretcher. Her shocked gaze scanned the bandage on her belly where a bloodstain leaked through the bandage more and more.

"Lexa plugs the wound so it won't bleed!" Jin shouted, suddenly appearing at her side with a needle in her hand. Lexa reacted almost as desperately with him and reached out to her friend to squeeze her belly. She immediately noticed the wetness of the blood but did not care. She wiped away her tears with her elbow and looked up at Jin who sighed. "Well, we're going to have to sew."

[...]

She caressed her cheek gently noticing the heat that had returned after the operation. Her face no longer looked so pale, recovering a little that orange color. She slept with slow breathing although from time to time she couldn't stop complaining moans from her lips.

Lexa took the cold compress from her forehead and changed it by turning around. As she felt the coolness return to her forehead, Suho sighed with satisfaction.

"You should sleep." Jungkook's voice scared her from behind but she was so tired from being awake for hours that she could hardly react. She just kept giving her unconscious friend slow strokes.

"I don't want to leave him alone," she said in a low voice almost like a whisper. Jungkook noticed the guilt in her tone besides her drooping shoulders and blinked, looked away, and closed her eyes in anguish.

"How is it going?"

"Stable but Jin says the lack of blood is going to start working," Lexa commented worriedly. She huffed in regret as she got up from the stool, turned around, and looked at him rubbing his arms to get a little warm.

"Are there no donors?"

Jungkook raised an eyebrow intrigued.

Lexa denied decay. "Sohu's blood is special not easily found."

"How special?"

"Negative rh," she whispered softly, giving him a quick glance to check that her chest continued to move regularly. Noticing Jungkook's silence, she turned to him curiously.

"Lexa, I have that blood group."

[...]

She shifted her foot restlessly as she waited outside the door of Jin's cabin. Her friend had kindly asked her to wait outside because she was very nervous and would end up distracting herself. Of course, she understood and even if she didn't want to, she listened to her. Jin was also human. She felt the same biological deficits due to lack of sleep and rest, so she decided to give her a truce and not complain.

When the door opened her friend came out with a rag in her hands that she used to remove the remains of blood.

"How is he?" Lexa asked immediately, feeling too much pressure on her head from her nerves.

"Better, now that you've received the transfusion," Jin replied relieved.

“May I see you?” He swallowed hard when he inadvertently raised his voice. Fortunately, Jin understood his situation and ended up walking away from the door.

Although his initial intentions were to walk directly to the bed when he saw Jungkook leaning on the table with two fingers tightening a small bandage on his forearm, his feet only walked towards him. When he saw her coming from the periphery, he stopped looking at Suho and focused on her.

"How are you?" Lexa said, pressing her lips together as she pointed at the area she was squeezing.

"I'm fine, a little weak from lack of blood but Jin says that in a couple of hours ...

"Thank you," he snapped, leaving him stumped. Her eyes widened longingly at his face at the current of concern that suddenly engulfed her.

Jungkook frowned. "Don't give them to me."

"Yes, because you didn't have to. You and Suho don't get along and I have misbehaved with you since we met."

"I suppose so am I," Jungkook said with false grace as he smiled. Lexa took another step, shortening the distance between their bodies without knowing the reason. She just felt too needy to be enveloped by his body heat. Jungkook straightened his body following in his footsteps. When Lexa took another step ... Suho coughed and she stiffened instantly, averting an alarming glance.

"You love her, don't you?" Jungkook said with pain accumulating in the hollow of her heart. He knew this was not the time for his jealousy but he couldn't help but feel annoyed when he saw how she was looking at him.

"I would give my life for him," she confessed as a secret.

"You should stay, maybe I'll wake up tonight." The pain in his voice was perceived by his receivers in such a way that I can't help looking at him in silence as he watched as he walked out the door without saying goodbye.

[...]

“Lexa?” Her head snapped up from her arms when I heard her sorry voice. He approached the bed and stroked her head lovingly.

"Shh, save your strength, you've lost a lot of blood."

“Where am I?” Her gaze was disoriented as she scanned the room intently.

"In Jin's store."

“Soldiers!” She jumped out of her bed, shaking her body with such force that she ended up bent over from the pang in her belly.

"Suho, calm down," she said altered as she lay him down resting her palms on his bare chest. "This offense will be returned, I swear."

"I don't want you to expose yourself more, Lexa. Please, let's go. Let's go far away. To the mountains to the south. " She did not take her eyes off as she settled herself better on the stretcher.

Lexa laughed incredulously."What do you say? I can `t go."

"Yes, you can."

Suho squeezed his hand as he looked pleadingly at her.

"Let me be your protector again." Lexa squeezed her eyes up and stood up from her stool with her back to him leaving her hand hanging on the edge of the stretcher. Suho sat carefully on the headboard and continued in her pleading tone: "I promise it won't happen again if you promise me it won't happen again either."

Lexa pursed her lips when she understood exactly what she was talking about.

"Running away like a coward is a good solution." Jungkook's voice came out loud. Lexa turned to the door as soon as she heard his hoarse voice. Jungkook advanced, approaching the stretcher where Suho looked at him with contempt. "It has been proven that wherever he goes, there will always be someone who wants to harm him." Nothing will happen to Lexa because she is under my protection now.

"She was, too, when two assassins tried to kill her," Suho said in immature reproach causing Jungkook to giggle.

"Well, at least I caught the killers." Tell me, what did you do apart from following her like a dog everywhere.

"Jungkook," Lexa chuckled immediately, taking a quick glance from Jungkook.

"I'm right, Lexa." She defended herself with pride as she returned her withering gaze to Suho. "She doesn't need a protector, she needs a man."

"And you are that man?" Suho replied with a mock too false as she swept her body with contempt.

"He's right, Sohu." Lexa added catching the gaze of the two men. "If I leave they'll think I'm running away, I'm weak and I'm afraid of them. And I'm fucking not afraid of them."

[...]

She wiped her brow from the sweat with her forearm as she walked in the scorching sun on her way to the stables. However, just as she saw the wooden structure from a distance, a nearby voice caught her attention towards a cabin.

“Lexa, do you have a moment?” Jungkook asked patiently while raising an eyebrow. Lexa looked at the stable and then looked at him again and nodded, approaching with slow steps.

"Yes, what do you want?"

Jungkook entered the cabin so Lexa had to go behind him. When she closed the door, she found her on her back.

"No one will use the council room today," he announced hoarsely, leaving her intrigued. When she turned around, she gave him a smile that made her uneasy.

-So what? What are you planning? ”He nodded at her body, distrusting her calm posture.

“Are you expecting me to do something?” He asked mischievously as he took threatening steps toward her, causing her to back off in reflex and her back to hit the wall when the ground was gone.

"No, I don't expect anything." She swallowed hard as she felt her body slowly cover her with his near heat.

"Yes?" He whispered huskily close to her face using his typical arrogant tone.

“What are you doing?” He couldn't help but giggle as Jungkook's compact thigh slipped between her legs. The seriousness he suddenly showed on her face left her paralyzed.

"I'll make sure no one touches you. You said I had to find out what I wanted. I already know it. But what do you want? Tell me? ”When he leaned his face against hers brushing her nose teasing, Lexa swore the breath left her body. She opened her mouth reflexively drawing the attention of Jungkook who looked at them instantly. He brought his fingers to her cheek and stroked her gently. He leaned her face towards his making her imitate her gesture with his eyes closed. He felt the sweet skin of her lips and opened his mouth as he did. He felt the tip of his tongue brush against her teeth when ...

"Fuck," a voice coughed at the entrance to the cabin causing their bodies to part as if they were burning. Lexa moaned in surprise and ran towards Suho who kept one hand on her stomach as her body bent forward.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly as she stroked his back. Suho squeezed the door handle for support and looked at her with a smile.

"Yes." He coughed dramatically again. Then, she observed Jungkook with a look full of arrogance causing her to laugh sideways. "Now you better be with me."

[...]

"Two weeks ago a message was sent to Ronald. He has responded with the attack of the river, well, let us respond as well." Jungkook shouted to the warriors who shook their weapons above as a sign of emotion.

Lexa sighed seeing how what she most feared would come was beginning to do so. Despite the joy in the environment, she could not help thinking that not all those warriors would see the sunlight again.

A horse caught her attention. She recognized the blond rider who climbed off the horse masterfully.

"Our observer has seen troop movement from the south," Jimin announced to Jungkook who nodded with the seriousness required under the circumstances. Lexa knew she wasn't the only one thinking about death, she knew it when she saw his tense shoulders.

"That they come this time will not catch us by surprise," Lexa roared loudly, taking an exciting look from the blond warrior.

"Yes, with FireHeda on our side nothing can go wrong."

"FireHeda?" Lexa asked confused but with a smile on her face.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Jimin, I told you you won't call her that."

“Why do you call me FireHeda?” She turned his head towards Jungkook who sighed hesitantly.

"You killed thirty savages with a single fiery arrow," Jungkook said delicately knowing that the subject was still disturbing. Lexa looked down at the ground making Jungkook feel guilty and will look back at the soldier with a serious threat in her gaze. "I'll make sure no one ever utters that name again."

"No, leave them. I like FireHeda."Lexa answered indifferently. She nodded with a small smile on her lips. She had to start making peace with her past if she really wanted to move on.

[...]

She kicked his stomach causing the man to fall unconscious to the ground. Then he wiped the sweat from his face, wiping the blood from his mouth. She sighed wearily and raised her head to watch the battle. She smiled when she saw that her warriors had escaped unharmed at the first offensive. In fact, it was not difficult to beat them. Since both her and Jungkook's were used to enduring the sun for many hours to protect crops, the summer sun did not affect them in the same way as the savages, who always lived in a cold and freezing climate.

“They're retiring!” Her squad leader shouted loudly for all to hear. Lexa looked at Jungkook instantly. They were both looking confused.

"What?" Lexa asked, busy between standing up and being able to breathe. Jungkook came to his side and although he did not process it out loud he was glad that nothing had happened to him. Between fights and fights, she had given herself the privilege of observing how she was fighting and she was more than impressed. He was undoubtedly a Heda for something. He couldn't help noticing how good his hair was tousled and bathed in sweat as his chest rose and fell in agitation. Her cheeks heated as her wicked mind reminded her that it was not the first time she had seen her like this.

A horse bolted out of the trees scaring them. Jungkook stood in front of Lexa protecting her with his body. She watched him with a small smile of excitement at his tender desperation to place her behind.

A horse stood up right where its feet were shaking in the air and then fell with the same intensity. Lexa came out of Jungkook's body to look at the mountain speaker suspiciously.

"WanHeda * wants a reunion at dawn," the man announced with superiority, looking at them with disdain still mounted on the back of his horse.

Lexa forced herself to hold back the emotion because she knew what that meant.

"Tell Ronald that the truce will be honored."

[...]

"Tomorrow it will all be over," Jungkook announced calmly as he wiped his extensive bareback with a damp towel. He swept the dirt off the ground from the turmoil of battle as she washed her face by sinking her hands into a bowl filled with soap and water.

"I keep thinking about the lives of the innocents who left in battle," she whispered, lost in her guilt, remembering the bodies that were collected and the families that would never see them again.

"Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim. *" Jungkook muttered softly proclaiming her attention. Lexa immediately turned around at the hoarseness of her native language. Her lips parted as her golden chest welcomed him. He wanted to bite his lip as he got closer to her his pecs moved with the movement and the muscles of his abs tightened just inches from his fingers. He forced himself to stay sane because this was not the time to lose his mind, no matter how good the chestnut tree was. "You are a good Heda Lexa." If I died tomorrow my spirit will rest in peace knowing that my clan has you.

"Don't say that," she growled softly, frowning in disgust.

"Death is the war's greatest ally," Jungkook pronounced with passive normality that frightened her, prompting her to capture his cheeks and fix his gaze on hers pleading.

"Shop op! *" He ordered, his breathing altered. "Don't talk about death when you're alive. I already lost my father, I almost lost Suho I don't know what I would do if I also lost you ...

The tremor dominated her tone of voice to the point of gradually fading towards the end. Jungkook tightened the nape of his neck and buried his face in his chest. Lexa clenched her biceps in need causing him to squeeze her harder.

[...]

She had not slept at all but passed her into Jungkook's arms while caressing her head had diminished the effects of the dream.

Jungkook looked at the door of the store with the same mistrust as Lexa. They both sighed and walked towards her. Jungkook pushed aside the cloth but he passed first as a precaution. She accepted because she did not trust Ronald at all.

Upon entering, they found the Heda sitting on a throne made of bones and decorated with bearskin. Ronald smiled hypocritically and then got up.

"I admit that you surprised me," he began to comment amused as he walked down the steps and approached them, especially Jungkook. "I'm not going to sign my surrender."

“So what the hell do you want?” Jungkook asked furiously as he stepped forward-facing up. Jungkook was much taller than Ronald so his body absorbed hers.

"I have come to give an alternative to war," he pronounced innocently, knowing that his words penetrated deeply into Lexa, who soon joined the conversation.

"Talk," she said, taking Ronald's gaze.

"The main conflict is due to the death of the previous Heda Skykru."

"Say it by his name murder," Lexa snapped with fury running through her tone. Jungkook narrowed his eyes glaring at Ronald's body as he moved away to get a better look at her.

"The war is here." Death too. But it is avoidable. As an alternative, I propose that Fireheda fight my brother. If FireHeda wins I will withdraw from the territory of the mountains, if he dies I will stay with his clan. You have until dawn to make a decision. "When she told her plans, Lexa lifted her chin and looked at him full of pride." FireHeda finished off my army with an arrow. I think dealing with a single soldier will not be a problem for her.

[...]

"It's a trap," Jungkook commented with confidence in his gaze and stretched posture.

"I know," Lexa accepted thoughtfully.

Jungkook approached her quickly causing their eyes to connect.

"You don't have to accept that you know that he has agreed because he has no other way out."

Of course, she knew. As well as that Ronald was treacherous shit that he wouldn't mind killing his own mother to get what he wanted. He had been behind his clan's territory for years, and the only thing that had frustrated his plans had been his father. Now that he was gone, he thought that he could finally fulfill his desire. Of course, it was a trap. I knew Ronald's brother well. A barbarian as tall as an old pine, cunning and scarred from training. Anyone would think she was no match for anyone but they did not count on her also flooding those rumors since the bridge attack.

"Ronald is a murderer who doesn't care about anything if it is in my power to prevent more people from dying tomorrow, so be it " Lexa accepted with will power. She raised her head so that she could look him in the eye since she had gotten too close.

"We have a pending conversation," Jungkook uttered deeply as he lost himself in her eyes. Lexa blinked weakly as she sank her cheek back into the comfort of his chest.

"After...

[...]

She shook her hands hard and automatically the muscles in her arms flailed. She twisted her neck in circles to warm the head area. Then she took a deep breath and left the store. Sunlight landed on her eyes blinding for a moment until she got used to it. The sun was shining as much as if it was giving him good luck. As she crossed the line of the arena she heard excited screams from her soldiers and also demeaning screams from the enemy. The drums were played with force following the rhythm of their walk. Upon reaching the center of the arena, he clenched his teeth as he watched Kye talk to her brother, who smiled triumphantly as if victory trickled from his mouth.

"She attacks from the left and when you knock down her defenses I want you to kill her." Keep your eyes open there is no greater weakness than underestimating your enemy. - Ronald whispered to her brother who nodded obediently. Then he walked briskly to stand beside her. A councilor from her tribe climbed onto the wooden platform in front of the field where there were two chairs. One of them was occupied by recently arrived Ronald and the other by Jungkook who was watching Lexa seriously. When she responded to his affective call he nodded giving her strength.

"In hand-to-hand combat, there is only one rule ... Today someone must die!" Shouted the counselor amid the exciting tumult of the masses. She raised her hand and lowered it with her finger pointing towards them. "You can start."

Each one walked towards her warrior to collect her weapon. Kye quickly unsheathed the sword and ran towards Lexa believing that it would catch her off guard when she did nothing but make the first mistake in battle.

Never underestimate your enemy.

Lexa masterfully unsheathed the sword as she spun nimbly, sticking her elbow out and driving it into Kye's back as he ran the blade down his right leg causing it to drop to his knees. The screams of her warriors enthusiastically urged the feat as Lexa walked to the center of the arena still on alert waiting for Kye who rose heavily from the ground.

Upon reaching her, Lexa attacked with her sword. Kye stopped the attack with her sword. It was a match worth seeing from outside. On the one hand, Kye used his brute force to destabilize her with his body. And on the other, Lexa used her wit and agility to dodge everything and return it with more force. After clashes and clashes of her screeching metal, her swords end up crossing. They slid toward the hilt leaving everything at the mercy of force. Kye pulled her teeth out and growled like a dog in anger as he tried to knock her down. Lexa crushed her feet to the ground, holding on with all her being.

When her body began to bend downwards Kye smiled. "You are finished."

Lexa clenched her teeth as she reached for Kye's sword bewildering him. Long enough for her to tuck one foot between her spread legs to drop her to the ground. Kye staggered away, dragging his body across the floor as Lexa waved her hand to ease the pain of the cut. Fortunately, she had thought that wearing gloves would be a good way to protect herself, she had thought well.

She bent down slowly and grabbed Kye's sword from the ground, climbing up next to her to threaten from a distance.

The crowd roared with excitement as Kay disoriented like a headless chicken began searching for something to protect herself from. She found it in a warrior whom she kicked to remove her sharp spear. Lexa turned the swords in midair and approached attacking first in a battle cry. Kye tried to drive the point into her belly but the attack was deflected thanks to her sword. The spear almost escaped from her sweaty fingers but she knew how to catch it in time.

Lexa kicked his leg, knocking it to the ground, but he took advantage of his position to attack hers. Lexa intercepted the attack again but the sword forcibly left her fingers, leaving only one so she was distracted for a second following the path of the sword. She received a punch in the belly causing her to double from the pain, she was kicked in the chest, knocking her down.

Kye tightened her grip on the spear and when she was about to drive it into her neck she cocked her head and was embedded in the ground. She moved her legs nimbly and stood up. She hit her jaw hard leaving her dizzy on the floor. Lexa turned, picked up the spear, and placed it on the column of her neck.

"Do what you have to do," Kye whispered in a strange tone. Lexa frowned and it was then that Kye sneakily showed him the little mirror on her wrist.

"Jus drein jus daun *," Lexa said carefully just before throwing the spear into the throne area.

The screaming stopped as the tip of the spear pierced the bowels of Ronald who did not see his last breath go out.

"Why?" Lexa asked puzzled as she offered her hand to Kye to help lift him up.

"War is not the solution. Ronald killed our parents to become Heda. I take off my family I think I see just ending his reign."

Lexa nodded, satisfied with her answer. The murderer had perished and now new times full of hope would come.

She turned to the crowd and shouted:

"Now the mountain clan will have a new Heda!"

She watched Kye smiling and she nodded in respect as her warriors screamed rather than accepted.

[...]

The parties after a battle were undoubtedly the best. People drank and sang around a bonfire regardless of gender or origin. They were only humans enjoying the end of the war. Lexa smirked as she looked around for a man named above.

But someone enthusiastically stepped in front of her making her stop.

"You've been amazing, Lexa." God those blows. Those kicks. That guy Kye was lucky not to ...

"Suho, sorry I have something to do," she cut when she saw him leaning in the distance against a tree. Suho mumbled something but she kept walking like bees towards the skin.

When he got in front of him Jungkook smiled as he raised an amused eyebrow.

"Hello," Jungkook said calmly.

"Hey," she replied with the same serenity. One that was short-lived as she immediately jumped into his arms desperately. Jungkook squeezed his body, delighting in the comfort of his small figure.

"I knew you would win," Jungkook whispered into her hair. She took off her head with her hands on her chest but still not undoing the hug.

"Ah yeah? So why did you have that scary look all the time?"

Jungkook smiled. "It wasn't because of you, it was because of Kye. Who in their right mind would dare challenge you for a ...

Her mouth was immediately closed by anxious lips. Lexa opened her mouth when Jungkook tightened her nape and brushed her tongue against his lower lip. He kissed her eagerly, eagerly as he leaned her against the tree.

"Does this answer your question?" Lexa said shaken by the recent kiss.

Jungkook smiled mesmerized as he leaned closer to whisper on his lips, "I always knew it was you."

"What?" Lex laughed confused.

"When I saw you run to the bridge and shoot that arrow, dammit, I don't think I was ever so attracted to someone." When Jungkook confessed that, Lexa's eyes widened.

"Were you there? Your...

"Yes...

Now it all made sense. The heat of his body that exuded tranquility and security. Her strong arms that she unconsciously recognized and that fucking honey smell that had driven her crazy from the start.

Lexa filled her hands to her face and cupped her cheeks excitedly.

"Why did you not tell me?"

"Would something have changed?" Jungkook said with pure amusement.

“Why did you ask me to marry you?” He waited anxiously for her answer as he frowned happily.

"I guess for the first time I didn't know how to approach a woman."

"And do you think it was the best idea?"

"Has it worked or not?"

Lexa pursed her lips thoughtfully before nodding.

"Yes, it has worked."

[diavolodigitale]

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Andromeda Galaxy - pt.1 Aya

Okay, hear me out. I know nobody wanted this, but here it is: a fairly short story about m!Ryder/Evfra that consists of 4 parts and most likely will not have any continuation. 

Beware though, this is the first piece of fiction I’ve ever written in English. I did my best to make it sound less awkward, but I’m still not sure about the results. But it will get better, I promise. 

Genres: comedy, romance (vaguely), friendship maybe, nothing serious, really.

Pairing: m!Ryder/Evfra (be careful, it’s slash if you didn’t realize it yet).

Rating: PG

Size: around 5 pages

Pt.1 - Pt.2 - Pt.3 - Pt.4 ----- All chapters in PDF

Ryder entered the Resistance HQ accompanied by light clanking of his gear. Weeks of travelling non-stop and picking up challenging fights made him sturdier and more skilled, meaning he would usually carry more than just a sniper rifle and an asari sword. Less sneaky, yes, but who cared if he was able to survive in the wilds of unknown planets however long it was necessary.  

“Evfra,” muttered he in an indifferent voice. Obviously, the office of the Resistance leader was always his one and only destination point on Aya.

“Ryder,” forwarded Evfra as inhospitably as he always did, seemingly not paying any attention to his guest. Ryder knew that he did it on purpose every time and tried to do his best to disregard this act of covert hostility.

“Why are you here?” asked the angara, realizing there was no way Ryder would leave after simple greeting.

“I had some business on Aya, so I decided to come by and say hi.”

Evfra’s face showed a clearly annoyed and dissatisfied expression similar to when humans roll their eyes. He sucked his teeth, becoming more and more aggressive with every second he and Ryder proceeded to be in the same room.

“There’s no need to be so unkindly, you know I never come without a cause,” said Ryder apologetically and awkwardly laughed.

“Actually, you always do,” said Evfra disapprovingly. “Intercoms exist for a reason, and that reason is communicating with other individuals remotely. I’d rather you didn’t come here every time you want to chit-chat.”

“Believe me, I have a whole crew available for that. Moreover, none of them is so incredibly unwilling to speak to me, which is a great plus. And also, they’re all on my ship at any time so I don’t have to fly anywhere. Oh, and—”

“Get to the point, Ryder,” rudely interrupted Evfra. “I don’t have all day to suffer through your chattery,” he added and started scrolling reports more furiously than Ryder had ever seen him do, appearing as if he was enormously busy. Most likely pretending.

“Right, so… About that favor you asked me for… You know, on Voeld,” mumbled Ryder, looking at his feet. “So… I did everything I could there. People saved, data found, a-and…”

“Mhm.”

Ryder stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do. He expected at least some kind of reaction to his words, but if his help really meant so little to this man, he struggled to think of what could really support the Resistance and its cause and, more importantly, give humans some advantages in negotiations with angara.

Realizing Ryder didn’t have much else to say on that topic, Evfra struggled to make an effort to continue their conversation.

“I’ve seen the reports. The scouts you rescued can become significant assets in the war with kett. The information they possess can turn out to be useful for all of us in the long run.”

“You’re welcome.” A self-satisfied smirk appeared on Ryder’s thin lips as he felt that at least something he had done was appreciated.

Evfra casted a long unemotional glance at Ryder, unintentionally forcing him to hide his barely visible smile in confusion.

After a few seconds of odd staring, Evfra finally broke the oppressive silence.

“Is there anything else worth discussing? As I said, I still have other matters that need sorting out.”

“Not really, but…”

Ryder was shuffling around, trying to think of a decent ground for staying and continuing the talk for at least a little longer when he noticed a fresh cut wound on Evfra’s arm.

“What’s that on your arm? What happened?” he asked, sincerely worried.

Evfra immediately pulled back his wounded arm when Ryder tried to grab it and took a step back.

“None of your business, human. Since we are done talking, I recon you should leave.”

Ryder, having by this time developed a habit of not obeying Evfra’s orders, was surely ready to start protesting, when SAM’s monotonous voice echoed in his head.

“Pathfinder, it is highly unadvisable for you to dispute with the Resistance leader. He is infamous for his wild temper and unpredictability.”

“Everything’s fine, SAM,” murmured Ryder, “just let me handle it.”

“That… thing in your head. What is it saying?”

Evfra looked interested and a little repelled at the same time. That wasn’t the first time the Pathfinder faced such a reaction to the fact that an AI had a free access to his body and thoughts. The majority of the people he met were more than sure that nothing good could come out of it.

“That your wound should be treated as soon as possible or else...” he responded mysteriously.

“Or else what?”

“Consequences.”

The leader of the Resistance frowned, but managed to calm himself down and just let out a loud sigh instead of giving way to his emotions and becoming rude again. He now looked composed, although the undertone of hostility was still in the air.  

Ryder stood still only for a moment, and then, using Evfra’s unpreparedness, dashed towards him in a desperate attempt to get closer and check the wound himself. Being a trained and experienced soldier, Evfra reacted a little quicker than Ryder anticipated and managed to evade the intrusion into his personal space, causing Ryder to lose his balance for a split second.

The understanding of where the potential scuffle was going came immediately, so Ryder didn’t try to counterattack and instead darted into the direction opposite to Evfra’s. Angara’s puzzlement by Pathfinder’s behaviour, however, didn’t influence his combat abilities and tactical thinking in any way. He decided to attack before his opponent would try to take him by surprise once again. He clenched his fist and made an abrupt movement with his uninjured hand, targeting the belly of the human.

Ryder was thrown away for almost a meter just to dramatically land on the floor, generating a cacophony of noises produced by the whole array of his gear hitting a hard surface.

“Pathfinder, you could have dodged that punch without much effort. Your intentions remain unclear to me,” rang SAM’s voice in Ryder’s head.

Ryder ignored him completely and continued to lie on the floor with little to no motion. His stomach almost didn’t hurt because he had actually been prepared to take that blow.

Having not many other options, Evfra called out Ryder’s name to check if he was alright. He consciously chose not to punch with all his force, meaning it obviously couldn’t be fatal or even do much damage to a person wearing full set of armor.

Receiving no response, Evfra called out again.

Silence.

The Resistance leader, thinking about how many problems the human Pathfinder really brought with him, moved closer to inspect the injured. Harming him could possibly ruin the alliance between their species so it was preferable that the Pathfinder left safe and sound. Even if Evfra genuinely wanted him to suffer a little bit for how irritating and importunate he was.

He moved closer and knelt before the seemingly unconscious Pathfinder. He heard him breathe slowly and steadily which, from Evfra’s knowledge of human physiology, meant that he was most likely okay.

The moment Evfra started leaning to take a closer look at the fallen opponent, he noticed a slight movement of Pathfinder’s hand. This time his instincts didn’t serve him so well, and Ryder suddenly hit him hard in the forehead with his own head.

Evfra’s vision flickered and, disoriented, he brought his hand up to his head to cover the damaged area.

Using the advantage he now had over his opponent, Ryder made a few maneuvers with something that he took out of a tactical compartment on his leg piece. Before Evfra realized that he did something to his wounded arm, Ryder had already rolled away, out of his reach.

“I’m done! I’m done!” yelled the human Pathfinder, raising his hands up in the air as if surrendering. He knew perfectly well that in a real fight with the Resistance leader he had almost no chances, so tried to pull out of it as soon as possible.

Evfra stood up abruptly, still touching his aching head. He was somewhat dizzy, but the wish to make the intolerable creature pay gave him strength and determination to act at once.

Seeing that his words had little influence on Evfra’s perception of reality, Ryder pleaded once again.

“It was medi-gel! Just medi-gel, I swear!”

Confused, Evfra looked at his injured arm. The cut was indeed covered with medi-gel that was slowly absorbing into his skin.

“Just wanted to treat it, that’s all,” muttered Ryder, finally rising from the floor. “A simple thank you would be enough.”

Lost for words, Evfra groaned and rubbed his temples.

“I better leave. Hope the next time we meet you’ll be in a better humor.”

The Pathfinder turned around and headed for the door. Only moments before his exiting Evfra addressed him one last time.

“Ryder!”

“What is it?” The Pathfinder stopped, intrigued.

“You have your whole species at your disposal… you have asari, turians, salarians, crogans… You have this whole galaxy with all the angara inhabiting it. Tell me, why, why do you have to infuriate only me all the time?”

“There’s one reason you’ll find out about later, just hold on for now,” answered the Pathfinder and grinned. “Oh,”—after making only one step, he stopped once more—“I also hate it when everybody always calls me Ryder. I have a name, you know. It is not very polite, especially since I do use your name in conversations.”

Evfra raised his head and took a deep long breath, feeling fed up with everything that happened during the last ten minutes.

“Ryder…” he started in a voice full of weariness.

“It’s James. For you it’s James.”

[aiweirdness]

Dungeon crawling or lucid dreaming?

I’ve done several experiments with a text-generating neural network called GPT-2. Trained at great expense by OpenAI (to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars worth of computing power), GPT-2 learned to imitate all kinds of text from the internet. I’ve interacted with the basic model, discovering its abilities to generate fan fiction, British snacks, or tea. I’ve also used a tool called gpt-2-simple that Max Woolf developed to make it easy to finetune GPT-2 on more specialized datasets - I’ve tried it on datasets like recipes or crochet. One of my favorite applications of GPT-2 and other text-generating neural nets is Dungeons and Dragons spells, creatures, character names, and character bios.

Recently Max published a tutorial on how to use GPT-2 to make new apps that are more complicated than just printing out large reams of text. To my delight, people have used them to made D&D games. First, there was Nick Walton’s AI Dungeon, in which a finetuned GPT-2 generates a story and three very strange action options at each step.

My latest obsession is GPT-2 Adventure, designed by a cognitive neuroscience student named Nathan, which lets you type in your own actions. And folks, this game is SO WEIRD and SO FUN.

YOU FLOAT IN SPACE, LIKE A BALLOON, AND AS YOU DROP THE CUBE, THE X, IT VANISHES IN A CLOUD OF GREASY BLACK SMOKE

>>

When I first launch the game, this is what I’m greeted with, a simple text prompt reminiscent of nostalgic dungeon crawling games. It sets the scene. It waits for me to describe my next move.

Even getting to this point is like a blast from the past. The game runs in a Google Colab notebook, a format where you’re looking at cells of code, with cryptic comments, vaguely alarming warning messages, and all. It’s not a sleek web app, but feels more akin to playing a game on an old DOS machine, or maybe on a graphing calculator. There are only two clicks to begin playing, but there’s a good two-minute wait while the game loads.

And it’s my turn to type something.

>> look up

It takes several seconds for the game to respond, as if I’m playing it on a very ancient computer. The computer is in fact a state-of-the-art NVIDIA GPU, likely a K80 or a T4. The T4 could eat my laptop for lunch. I’m just playing with a very very large neural net. Finally it answers.

YOU'RE IN LABYRINTH OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE

Almost immediately, the context seems to have changed. I’m not floating at all. I’m in a maze. I guess I’ll walk somewhere.

>> walk north

THE TROLL STEPS OUT FROM BENEATH THE BRIDGE AND BLOCKS YOUR WAY

YOU ARE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF THE CHASM

A NOD IS GIVEN TO THE INFINITE WONDER THAT IS URBZIG

A SOLID RAINBOW SPANS THE CHASM

And suddenly things are happening. There is a troll. There is a chasm. There is a rainbow. There is… Urbzig? I play it safe.

>> praise urbzig

URBZIG IS THE PATRON SAINT OF ZORK

HE IS THE GODFATHER OF ZORK, THE PLACE TO GET NEWS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS

URBZIG IS A STRONGMAN,遊 ALL

If you’ve played classic dungeon crawling games like Zork, you may recognize some of these names and phrases. Checking Nathan’s original post, I see that the training data is indeed drawn from these games. But because it’s based on GPT-2, the training data also in some sense also includes much of the internet. This gives it a lot of latent flexibility to deal with situations that were never in the classic games.

>> ask Harry Potter to try walking across the rainbow

ASK HARRY POTTER TO TRY WALKING ACROSS THE RAINBOW HE CAN'T THE RAINBOW IS EXTREMELY WIDE ABOVE YOU IS A LARGE DOME UP AROUND ITS NECK IS A STRONGG PORE [UNFORTUNATELY, THE DIRECTION OF TRAVEL IS A LOT MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU THINK ][YOU ARE IN A LARGE ROOM, WITH A PASSAGE TO THE EAST, A PASSAGE TO THE WEST, AND A WALL OF BROKEN ROCK TO THE SOUTH

An interesting effect of its human-written training data is that, like Visual Chatbot, it isn’t prepared for humans that ask questions about objects that aren’t there. If I refer to Harry Potter, then Harry Potter must be present. If I type something about a giraffe, then it assumes the giraffe must be present.

>> ask the giraffe which direction to go next

THE GIRAFFE IS ALREADY OUTFITTED WITH A VISOR WHICH IS CLEARLY DEFINED

Although it’s not clear that this AI actually understands what a giraffe is.

>> look at the giraffes

THE GAZEBO HAS DISAPPEARED

>> put giraffe in backpack

DONE

Navigating this world is like navigating in a dream. My location suddenly changes without warning. I thought I was by a chasm with a rainbow bridge. Now apparently I’m in a building. Dreamlike, it is also really hard to read text.

>> look around

YOU ARE IN A LARGE ROOM, WITH A PASSAGE TO THE SOUTH, A PASSAGE TO THE EAST, AND A WALL OF BROKEN ROCK TO THE NORTH A SIGN POSTED ABOVE THE NORTH WALL READS, "STOP! PAY TROLL!" A SMALL WINDOW CAN BE SEEN IN EITHER WALL

>> read sign

THE SIGN IS VERY SIMPLE

>> yes but read sign

WE NOW HAVE ALL FIFTEEN TREASURES IT IS TIME TO GO BACK INTO THE CAVE FOR THE END GAME

>> that's awesome. but i still want to know what the sign says. read sign.

YOU ARE IN A GAZEBO ROOM WHICH HAS DOORS ONLY TO THE EAST AND SOUTH

Another thing that’s surprisingly difficult to do is check inventory.

>> check inventory

DONE

>> check inventory

THERE IS AN INTERESTING LOOT HERE

>> what is the loot

WHAT IS THE LOOT?

>> check inventory

YOU ARE IN THE BAG CASE

Very occasionally I will succeed in opening a bag. It will usually be weird.

>> open bag

OPENING THE BAG REVEALS A TEA BAG

>> make tea

AY! A LOVELY SURPRISE FOR THE SURPRISE

More so than any other game I’ve played, I’m unsure of the rules here. Some weird things unexpectedly work.

IF YOU DON'T GET KILLED, YOU ARE TOAST

>> Eat the toast.

EAT THE TOAST IT TASTES LIKE A STEAK A STEAK IS PERFECTLY FINE

Other seemingly obvious things don’t work.

THERE IS A PATH TO THE NORTH, A PATH TO THE SOUTH, OR A STEEP PATHWAY CLIMBING SOUTHWEST ALONG THE EDGE OF A CHASM

>> go north

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

>> go south

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

>> go southwest

YOU WILL BE DESCENDING INTO A VALLEY THERE IS A NARROW BEACH TO THE NORTH AND A PATH LEADING INTO A CANYON TO THE SOUTHEAST YOU ARE ON THE CLIFF OVERLOOKING THE FAR SIDE OF THE ROOM A PATH LEADS SOUTH ALONG THE EDGE OF A CHASM, AND A NARROW PATH LEADING INTO A LOZENGE ROOM

Sometimes I’m wandering endlessly from room to room, from cave to cave, encountering the same chasm in slightly different variations, the same dried-up lake. Other times I’m embroiled in seemingly unescapable fights, usually with trolls. Often reality shifts entirely around me and I end up in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike, or in the hall of the mountain king. Everything seems weirdly familiar - even the room descriptions are echoes of classic dungeon crawling games. It is as if I’m dreaming about playing them again.

My actions also mold reality. I learn quickly to always check for diamonds, and never check for traps. If I find myself in trouble, I can always do something confusing and provoke a context change. Writing “In a large bowl, combine butter and sugars” is usually enough to teleport myself out of whatever situation I’m in. I can always ask a giraffe for advice, although the giraffe usually isn’t very helpful.

Without a particular mission to fulfill, the caves and chasms begin to blend into one another. I give myself missions, and that helps. Once I decide my goal is to put together a picnic (incessant “check for food” commands eventually yielded a sack with a lunch and a clove of garlic, belonging to a horse who agreed to join me on a picnic). Another time I demand a mission and am given some php code; i decide my mission is therefore to build a website, but am astounded when a unicorn steals my laptop. This is not the only time other content intrudes on the game’s fantasy landscape - once the game tries to tell me about finding cash online, and another time I am sadly informed that there is no wi-fi. I encounter dinosaurs and troikas, none of which were in the original training data. Occasionally things get creepy as hell.

>> check for loot

CHECK FOR LOOT HERE CHECK FOR GOLD HERE CHECK FOR TORCH HERE CHECK FOR BONE HERE DO CHEST COMPRESSIONS AGAIN DO CHEST ROTATE DO CRESCENT MOON APPEAR IN THE ROOM'S CENTER

>> do back away slowly

DO BACK AWAY SLOWLY DO NOT OVERDO IT THE CHEST WILL EXPLODE AND YOU WILL DIE OKAY, SO YOU SEE ME

You can play the game too! Just follow the colab notebook link in Nathan’s blog post. Tips: 1) It may be more fun if you set yourself an arbitrary goal to reach. 2) If you find things getting repetitive, try adjusting the temperature in the “Play the game” cell to 0.6 or 1.0.

Subscribers get bonus content: The fulltext of a couple of my adventures (much too long to include here).

You can order my book You Look Like a Thing and I Love You! It’s out November 5 2019.

Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Your posts are always interesting, this could sound weird but, what do you think about the sexual orientations in 19 days? I know it is shonen ai but in this kind of comic is usually characters are just in love with someone but no anyone else. But with zhanyi it has being shown at least that Zhan had problems thinking about it, what do you think about tianshan's as well? I am not into Lgbt knowledge, so i'm lost about it

Good afternoon, dear anon-san!

I’m sorry it took me a couple of days to get to your question. Thank you for your patience!

I’ve talked about my takes on the sexual orientations a couple of times by now:

Why didn’t HT want MGS to like him more and more?

Homophobia in 19 Days

Could HT be bisexual?

Could ZZX be quoiromantic?

Was ZZX a heterosexual prior to JY’s confession?

Zhanyi and emotional manipulation?

Was MGS HT’s first kiss?

My Tianshan “timeline”

I suggest you check out those previous answers to get a better sense of where I’m coming from. I’m probably going to repeat some of the things in this answer but not as comprehensively.

Also, before I get further into this, I realize this is a rather controversial topic in the fandom. However, I want people reading this to know that I am most certainly not against discussing how readers interpret the characters from this perspective. I know some people just genuinely don’t care one way or another - which is perfectly fine - but to me, it sometimes feels like “who cares” is used to shut people up. I don’t see why the aspect of sexual orientations can’t be discussed just like any other part of the story. Especially since I feel like it’s one of the major themes of 19 Days. And sexual orientations in fiction can be important peaks of representation and connection to many readers, so I do understand why people might want to talk about them.

In all fairness, though, I also understand why people might be annoyed by this discussion. Other’s interpretations can feel forceful to us, especially if they greatly differ from ours. Or it might irritate us if we feel like people are focusing on trivial things. I get it. I’m sometimes “guilty” of those feelings, too - I’m not trying to make it sound like I’m somehow above that. However, I don’t think the solution should be to make others feel shitty but rather to try and give room for all kinds of points of view.

Anyway. End of my usual rant when it comes to these things. (^_^ ‘‘)

“what do you think about the sexual orientations in 19 days?”

When it comes to sexual orientations in 19 Days, I feel like the most accurate answer I can give is “I don’t know”. I don’t think it’s possible to tell one way or another for sure, and anyone’s interpretation is as good as mine. The things I’ve said in previous answers - and what I will continue to say in this one, too - are merely based on the vibes I’ve personally gotten. I am not trying to make it sound like I have some kind of solid, concrete “evidence”. I want everyone to keep all of that in mind when reading this.

He Tian and Mo Guan Shan

I’m going to be fairly brief with HT because I’ve already talked about him in this sense a few times. In short, I tend to read HT as a budding bisexual. Partly because of the vibes I’ve gotten and partly because of my own bias as a bisexual. It’s a pet interpretation of sorts that I like to toy with.

There aren’t any solid extracts of the comic for me to base this on, either. Merely little details that had caught my eye and made me wonder (ch. 160, 190, 226. 307):

If someone says that none of those panels make HT a bisexual, I would wholeheartedly agree. But to me, as a reader, those little details muddy the waters. Reading magazines with half-naked women in suggestive poses on the cover doesn’t make anyone straight, bi, or anything, but it seems HT doesn’t at least mind that kind of content - perhaps he’s even interested in it since he’s supposedly spent money on them. Of course, it’s too hasty to judge a book by its cover so to speak but I’ve always been interested in that detail.

However, what has made me think HT might be bisexual more than that is the whole “I don’t want you to like me more and more” thing. I have somewhat mixed feelings about the note but regardless of that, HT felt the need to lie to MGS. Again, there could be many reasons for it - but I think one possible reason could be that he was conflicted. Initially, HT didn’t get interested in MGS for romantic reasons, but somewhere along the way his feelings shifted and developed. Was HT confused about his own feelings and that’s why he lied to MGS? Was it his first time discovering such feelings for another guy? Again, it’s impossible to tell for sure but I don’t see why that couldn’t be a possible way to interpret it.

In addition to all of that, we don’t really know enough about HT’s past relationships to tell one way or another. He’s only 15, so I doubt he’s had much experience whether it’s with girls or guys. How being a part of his family has affected him as a person is also something that should be taken into consideration when wondering about HT’s potential romantic past.

I haven’t really talked about how I see MGS’s orientation before. I think that MGS’s character was set out as straight, but it’s always been more like a like “default setting” rather than what he might actually be. I would say he sees himself as a heterosexual but I think that’s more about him just going with what’s considered “normal” without bothering to give it much thought (ch. 222):

That little conversation has always reminded me of the movie 40 Year Old Virgin. Like, if Buzzcut had asked MGS “what kind of boobs do you like?” and MGS had been like “yes” or “as long as she has them”. He doesn’t really seem to have preferences or a type when it comes to girls, and I think one reason for that is because he’s never really been that concerned about the matter. If someone asks, he’s into girls but that kind of conversation is over rather quickly with him.

One reason for MGS’s seeming indifference is probably how he’s been rejected by his peers, ultimately leading him to isolate himself and push others away by becoming even harder to approach. Girls wouldn’t be interested in someone like him, so why should he waste time thinking about them? I might be projecting too much but it seems to be like he’s basically rejecting that part of being a teenager. It’s easier to ignore it until you’ve become indifferent than feeling like you’re missing out on something. 

In addition to that, it seems MGS is easily irritated and disgusted by the idea of another guy making a pass at him and aggressively guards both his body and image in that sense (ch. 160, 170, 249, 250, 285):

I’m sure a lot of that has to do with his history of being involved in gangs and being a delinquent. To survive in that world you need to exhibit rather aggressive and masculine behavior. In other words, to be the top dog. In those circles, being gay is easily associated with being the bottom as in submissive and easily overpowered. So, in addition to MGS not being keen on talking about girls and romance, he’s also had to keep up a certain image.

Do I think HT has discovered MGS’s “true” sexuality? I wouldn’t really put it like that. I would rather say HT’s persistent influence has “unlocked” the world of love and affection for MGS. He can experience that part of life with HT instead of rejecting it. I suppose the million-dollar question is does that make MGS straight or homosexual. And to be honest, I don’t have an answer. Personally, I read him more as a heterosexual than homosexual. I can’t really him being in a relationship with other guys than HT.

Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi

I’ve also talked about these two quite a lot, so I don’t know how much I have left to say. Generally speaking, I think JY is someone who might actually identify as a homosexual in the future. It doesn’t look like he’s ever been interested in girls. More importantly, though, it seems that as he’s fallen in love with ZZX he’s also discovered himself in a broader sense (ch. 143, 158, 164, 187):

I think the theme of coming of age when it comes to sexuality is the strongest in JY’s character. ZZX might be the only guy he has a crush on, but JY seems to be thinking about being in love with a guy also as something that might defy him. He feels confused about being different and scared of how others could react to him being in a relationship with ZZX despite how open he also is about his feelings. He might happily want to hold hands with ZZX or kiss him in public but he’s not always that confident. JY is surprisingly good at hiding behind a happy-go-lucky smile and carry the hurt and insecurity caused by prejudice in his heart. Those deeper feelings occasionally burst out when his guard lowers.

Again, this is just an overall vibe I’ve gotten from JY’s character. But I’ve always felt like he’s processing the whole thing of being in love with someone of the same sex on a deeper level than the others. I feel like his feelings for ZZX are connected to his identity more explicitly and him coming to discover himself sexually in the same way that real-life people would.

Compared to the three other boys, I think ZZX has always been a solid straight to me. I think before JY’s confession he identified as a heterosexual. He just was the kind of teenage boy who found girls and crushes too troublesome and annoying (ch. 51, 52, 102):

I doubt the idea of being in a relationship with another guy had really popped into his mind as an option. JY’s confession and feelings for him as a guy came as a big shock to him. Their first kiss seemed to tumble everything down in ZZX’s head and force him to figure everything - JY, himself, and his relationship with JY - from the beginning (ch. 151, 152, 165):

I believe a lot of it was rebuilt the same way but there were definitely changes and also room for future changes. A lot of the feelings ZZX already had for JY - protectiveness, affection, deep sense of bond - could also be applied to a romantic relationship. I believe they’re also the building blocks that ZZX as a character would want to cherish in his romantic relationship. All ZZX needed to do was to shift his point of view a little when it came to JY and see how he felt about it.

As big of a mental turmoil as I’m sure ZZX went through, I think it’s safe for us to assume what his resolve was. I might be too generous with my interpretation but this moment made Zhanyi canon in my head (ch. 209):

ZZX didn’t exactly return JY’s feelings in the same sense but he accepted them. He might not be ready to give all the things JY wants yet but he made a promise that JY will have a future with him. JY won’t have to feel insecure because ZZX will always be beside him. He just needs more time, and JY has to be patient.

But I suppose that once again the question of ZZX’s current orientation remains. And I don’t have a solid answer this time, either. I still read him mostly as a heterosexual, though. Just like MGS, I can’t really see ZZX in a relationship with another guy besides JY. However, I think that ZZX is also the type of character who puts more emphasis on the bond of the relationship rather than his partner’s gender. But...still, I imagine it would be quite a hump for him to discover that he could have feelings for guys in general, too.

“in this kind of comic is usually characters are just in love with someone but no anyone else”

This is very true and also partly why saying anything one way or another is quite difficult. In the story, the characters are in love with one other person, but you can’t make assumptions or conclusions based on just that. Just because you’re in a same-sex relationship doesn’t mean you’re a homosexual. Whenever I wonder about the orientations in 19 Days, I try to keep this in mind but I also feel like the vagueness allows readers to make multiple interpretations. I get certain vibes that point me in certain directions but I completely understand if others end up with other kinds of readings.

However, this kind of “he’s only gay for him” is also something I’ve seen BL been criticized for. It makes it look like men being attracted to other men isn’t a real thing but rather something that happens under special circumstances. Personally, I don’t have a major problem with that - it is what it is, I suppose - but I can see why that would bother people in BL. Do I wish some characters (for example, JY) would come out as LGBT at some point in the story (if you don’t think he already has)? Sure, I’d be interested in seeing that. And I think it would be a natural development for his character. Do I think that’s going to happen? I’m somehow doubtful, not at least in so many words. But that doesn’t really mean the comic can’t tell a story about discovering oneself, as we’ve already come to see.

Thank you for your question, dear anon-san!