#youre not special anymore not useful
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I keep thinking how sad Quill Kipps' whole deal is. He's brought up as a child soldier and he becomes quite good at it, good enough to work at one of the best agencies. He works hard, suffers, loses people, carries on because it's all got to be worth it. He ages in a system that prioritizes youth and feels everything special about him slowly starting to slip away. He has put everything into being an elite agent and he's about to age out of everything he's ever known.
He gets tangled with an unruly bunch of independent agents. They're annoying rule breakers but god they're amazing. Part of his beef with them is he can feel their talent rolling off them in waves making him acutely aware of how his is almost used up. When it becomes unsafe for him to pretend any more, he does what other agents do and becomes a supervisor. He keenly feels the separation from himself and agents in the field and finds he now can't just sit on the sidelines and watch others put their lives at stake when he can't help.
He's adrift, nothing to his name but his old reputation and a set of skills that are no longer useful. He ends up tangled back with the independents because they trust him - need him - and by god does he want to be needed. He wants so desperately to be part of their world again. They find some goggles that allow him to see visitors again and he's like a kid at Christmas. He can finally be involved again! It doesn't have to be over!
While working with them he learns everything he was taught to believe in was a lie, the prestigious agency he gave his entire being for is causing the rise of spirits. Once his involvement is found out, he loses his pension and privileges. He is cut off entirely from his old support system. With nothing left, the independents take him in. He's useful but he knows it's more out of pity. He works hard, almost dies and fights to dismantle the very establishment he spent his best years serving. The battle is won but things stay the same for him.
He is still a young adult clinging with aching fingers onto his childhood and teen years because that was the only way he had purpose. His closest friends are still young teens, five or more years younger than him. He chastises them for their childishness even as he desires more than anything to be one of them. He is Peter Pan, refusing to grow up because there is nothing for him as an adult in haunted England. He does not even look towards his future because he cannot let go of his shining past where he was actually needed.
#lockwood and co#the more I write kipps the more sad I get for him#I grew to like him in the books but getting in his head really hammers home his inherent tragedy#most 21-22 year olds would HATE hanging with 15-16 year olds#but he desperately wants to be one of them again because thats all he knows#the agent system builds these kids up with power and prestige and then throws them to the curb as adults#youre not special anymore not useful#but what is he supposed to do? He stopped education early and he's aged out of his most useful skills#quill kipps
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I know most people want gentleman Husk to Angel
But I would like to argue back that gentleman Angel?? Kissing Husks knuckle after he gives him a drink? Making him a fully homemade (Italian) dinner with drinks? So many ideas I have
(the superior answer is that it's both of them in different ways at different times and everyone around them is honestly jealous) ((and wants them to finally kiss god dammit))
#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#hazbin husk#angel dust#hazbin angel dust#in fairness i think theyd both be gentlemen to each other#absolute sweethearts#so chaste your gonna be swearing a storm at them to finally kiss#the slowest of burns#now while i love angel being used to beong treated by shit suddenly getting the soft gentleman treatmeny#the idea of angel being the more forward gentleman with husk???#so special to me#husk feels like a character who dosent think anyone could love him anymore#espcially cause hes old and grouchy and mean (a big softie really we know)#and i feel like even in life#husk didnt have many romance prospects#i just think it would be soooo cute#i feel like maybe he had a steady relationship in his 30's and fucked it up#but even then idk
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I know I have a habit of always keeping things to myself… But why am I still surprised when people don’t know what I know?
#This applies to so many things in my life#this is so incredibly unhealthy#toxic even#yet i can’t help but keep doing it#and now my friends too#those who said the loudest ‘you have to talk to us if we did something you’re not comfortable with so we can come to terms’#turned out to be bottling the hugest amount of distraught then explode without warning#now everything is in pieces#and there’s nothing that could be mended anymore#thought we had something special you know#then why… why can you sabotage everything so quick and run away so fast#why you do this to us?#what were we to you?#You hurt us all and even yourself with your ego saying we don’t have to care about you#but what were we if not friends?#why?#please I can’t continue like this#I desperately aware that things will never be the same and I can never see you as the same friend I’ve known for years#but I still refuse to believe this is really happening#it’s like sand#the more I hold it the harder I clenched my hand they would still eventually fall through my fingers gaps#are we not friends?#why? Why you did it?#You said nothing and yet expect everyone to know how you feel and to sympathize with you and your reasons#I mean we could#we totally could if you just let us know just the tiniest hint you know?#so why things turned out this way?#where has the years gone?#will I ever stop grieving the past if things keep turning out like this?#what does the future hold anyway and where’s my motivation to grasp it?
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You know when you read a piece of fiction - book, short story, fanfic, what have you - and there’s just one tiny detail that just takes you completely out of the story?
I just read a passage in a piece of original fiction where the main character hugs a friend and tells us she smells like the ‘delicate rose and jasmine of her familiar Chanel No 5’ and my brain just screeched to a halt. Tell me you googled ‘famous fancy perfume’ and picked the first two scent notes you saw without telling me. Many things can be said about that particular fragrance I don’t think anybody with a working nose would describe it as ‘delicate florals’.
#cecil blogs her life#btw it wasn’t in English and I’m not gonna call them out anymore than necessary six#also!! I know I dnf but I glanced through the rest of it and this character seems to be a bog standard ‘supportive friend’ character#who’s also described as being a kind of carefree gentle spirit. who wears cn5???#im sure that there are young women who still wear cn5 but it’s really not common and w that personality?? she should be the main character#certain fragrances carry specific cultural and social codes and connotations#cn5 is a classic ‘rich old woman’ scent. a lot of people associate it with older female relatives wearing it at special occasions#you can’t just name drop it on a cottagecore girlie and run that’s not how fiction works#added: plus scents are such strong and often under-utilised descriptors! everybody knows that feeling where you smell smth and suddenly#you’re transported somewhere else in your memory#telling us that her perfume smelled like delicate roses etc is nice - actually namedropping such a famous fragrance (that is also#incongruent with the description you just gave) is bonkers to me
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something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.
#im playing it all cool and funny now but atm i legit burst into tears lol#like he said i have a 'good voice too of course' but i know realistically that is not my strongest asset#and even if i were technically perfect. which im NOT lol. the voice itself is just nothing special. it's there ig but that's about it#but its nice to know i may not be 100% useless after all#(just 90%)#also apparently the most feared and respected professor who came to the concert said. again. that he likes me the most.#which again. crying real actual tears about this all rn this means literally the world to me this is everything i have#and i have no one to share this with because im not gonna say it to my uni friend cause i dont want her to feel like im boasting or sth#(even tho she has no such qualms herself but probably because i know how. not great. it feels when someone keeps talking about themselves#and about how great they are and how easy everything is for them. i dont wanna do it back at her.#well there's also the fact that i dont think im great and this is not fucking easy to me at all lol#but idk i think the difference between us is that she actually admitted she sees no point in singing if she cant show off (thus she hates#the duet we're singing because she sings the lower part and cant show off her high notes or coloratura.#which is like. an insane take to me. i mean it i get it. kinda. if i had a voice like hers maybe id be like that too fuck knows.#but that just feels so. idk. sad to me. so self obsessed and empty. like you dont care about the music itself? about you being a part of it?#also immediately made singing with her not fun anymore. i thought we were creating something TOGETHER. but thanks for the confirmation#that you only really care about being 'better than'. yikes.#like idk this behaviour is funny and iconic in old school opera legends like yes go bite each others dicks off.#but it hits completely different when it's your own colleague let alone your friend. like damn girl. damn)#) anyway. the husband is kinda hot too now that i think of it. i really should seduce them both.#except its realistically not possible since they've both seen me cry now (she saw it like a hundred times lol)#so ive lost the hot and mysterious card alas. no uni professors romance for me
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Recent-ish life pictures and etc.
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. bright very poofy cloud sky#2. saw these weird bugs on a sidewalk that were clustered in a pile and some of them were sitting butt to butt or something.. I wonder if#that's how they mate?? or maybe just some sortof strange bug fight or something.. interesting little creature party happening#out on the pavement on that day#3. Its kind of hard to see but on the inside of this watermelon there is a slightly lighter formation that sort of looks like a heart shape#4. special breakfast of scrambled eggs. soy sausages. and jarred artichoke heart. with some black coffee and whipped cream + a strawberry#5. ARBY.. fish ...traditional summer treat available only until like september maybe for like a month. but I love them because theyre cheap#lol.. the next closest/cheapest fried fish sort of option that is easily acessible to me is a more upscale fast food place where you can ge#three tiny little chunks of fish maybe the palm of your hand sized for about $17 lol... so 4 arby fried fish chunks for like $5 is good#6. & 7 - very cool sunset colored sort of pink/yellow/orange flower I found growing wild in someone's yard#8. got as a gift from someone who got it for christmas but didn't really want it and asked if I did since everyone knows Im like The Person#Who's Obsessed With Cats out of any group of people.. but I still havent done it lol.. it just sits there gathering dust until I have#the time on top of my 600 other projects. I think it's cool that it's gray so it does look like noodle (my cat)#9. Noodle (the aforementioned gray cat) with fancy lighting behind him#photo diary
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If you're curious about some animations i did btw!!!! again, all for fun
#all with Meg and Yu because i used to draw them much more and they were my main ocs.. not the case anymore#i did a lot but these are my fav#most of them are very simple stuff of 5-10 frames and it's just an expression change#but i always have fun.. I SHOULD DO MORE FR i always love the result#seeing your oc animated is very?? special???/pos#animation#2d animation#oc art
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Femme and butch aren't your replacement quirky words to say 'effeminate' and 'masculine' stop throwing these words around to describe non queer people geez, there's a culture that belongs to these terms, Taylor Swift isn't 'femme' or 'butch' and she most certainly is not 'a dyke'. When you get so careless about using those words, and often in a fully serious way, about non-queer people, they also get just as comfortable appropriating our words and jokingly throwing slurs back at us. Read the room once in a while
#think about how many non queer people are insultingly using words like twink already#they want to keep making jokes at our expense and use insulting words but they know they can't use slurs anymore w/o backlash#and this way you're delivering those slurs right back into their hands#and ts fans will find a way somehow to justify all of that#'no no we are different we don't talk that way but also btw this isn't so bad to say this like there's a reason they're saying that'#'no no I don't at all believe ts is butch!! i think she's femme actually' no tf she isn't#chill out you don't have to use these words to feel special about your mainstream pop consumption
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I’m sure they’ll going to make changes in the live action but I do hope Sanji still gets to beat that dude almost to death for spilling soup, like that’s hilarious. He almost kills a guy over soup. Me too, man, me too
#every time I see that post about floor soup I think of him and the time he bodied a man for spilling soup#he… heh heh… he full-bodied him#ha. ha ha. ha… okay#anyway I’d love to be him and beat a cop up for destroying food#i love him and I’m not even sure why still#I don’t think I would if I had found OP. like. 3 years ago instead of 10#that’s my disappointing guilty pleasure I guess#having sanji as my all time fave anime character#he was my very first blorbo. so he has a special place in my heart#he’s very cool and very kind I just wish Oda would stop using him as a vessel for unfunny creepy jokes#and usopp. and brook. and kinemon. and momonosuke. and absalom. and cobra. and drake. and-#this is why I don’t hold the characters responsible for the perv jokes anymore. because it’s like 30% of the main characters in a given arc#it’s not any of your faults guys it’s oda. he did this to you
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damn y'all work really does got me Tired About Eyeballs
#living the optician in training life#I am literally so tired#human interaction at a new job is especially draining#I know I'll get used to it soon but GODDAMN man#some folks are just so skeezy#no you cannot have free trial contacts when your prescription expired 4 years ago and you haven't even been in for an exam#why not? because you are Stupid and if you fuck something up while wearing the expired prescription and we gave it to you#then your dumb ass will blame us and we will be sued#it may be a prescription for your eyes but IT IS STILL A MEDICAL PRESCRIPTION THAT YOU MUST RECEIVE FROM A DOCTOR#you can't go to your doctor and ask for medicine for an illness you had 4 years ago#so why would you expect different from us?#shit changes in 4 years#the audacity of some if these ignorant entitled fuckos#and we have a really affordable basic deal on an exam and two pairs of eyeglasses!#70 bucks for the whole shebang!#it's almost always better than what insurance covers!#and then people want to get all the add ons and special materials and go full on surprised pikachu face when it's not the same price anymore#they're called add ons because they ADD ON#they are not usually necessary unless you live a certain lifestyle that makes them worth the investment#but if you need something affordable in order to see and function and not end up killing yourself driving#then the basic plan is an insanely good and affordable deal!#i used the very same deal prior to being hired!#i have my main glasses and a whole ass backup pair#and some people just#do not get it#they think they can get something ~special~ or that their insurance just HAS to be better bc it's insurance#please you guys learn to think freely and critically#okay rant over#tate talks#work tales
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I don't really get why Taylor would write an album about a guy she had a summer fling with vs a guy she was in a 6 year relationship with?? Like is it possible songs you think are about MH would be about Joe?
anything is possible to be honest, after all, I don't know her, none of us do... that's just what I got from a single listen to the album.
but hey, it's taylor... she did wrote 1989 about a guy she dated for like 3 months lmao
#I wouldn't put it pass her#specially considering how she thought it was soooo injust that we were mad about it#I think she wrote them more about the feeling of not liking us telling her she's wrong#than the actual feelings she had for matty#most of the songs are about her being pissed we didn't like him anyways. they're not love songs#but I don't know. the songs that are obviously about joe are very deep and well articulated#but there's some songs that sound more vague#who knows#I'll let you guys have your fun figuring it out because I certainly don't have the heart to do that anymore lmao#ask#ttpd spoilers
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eat the [redacted] anime pen, kaito-kun
#in o t h e r n e w s i brought all of my plain pens to work and now this is the only pen i’m willing to use bc i accidentally bought 2–#like heck im gonna let my family see it though what if they misunderstand and think that i like the [redacted] anime???? no wayyyyyy#the pen writes pretty decently though ngl. but again im not bringing it to work bc my coworkers would def question it/steal it#plus it’s a black ink pen and i prefer using blue inks bc it’s easier to differentiate from the bw printer ink lmaoooo—#special thanks to my bro’s gf for the pen holder though~~~~~~~~~#but i cant believe my bro remembered my rxl phase from like 2k14 bro erase it from your memory p l s i dont even ship them that much anymore#idk how much he remembered of it but. the way he said ‘the yellow one is your favourite right’ was very. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i haven’t even talked about them in y e a r s man… ig the list of uncorrected misunderstandings between us will keep on growing#g od. now that i think about it. he’ll prolly assume that aizo and len are the same person if i showed him pics of them at the same time..#like heck im gonna do that. i have a nonexistent reputation to uphold g o o d b y e
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i think we need to start talking more about jack's powers actually and how cool he is for them and the fact that he SHOULD be more terrifying they shouldve given him more genuine horror moments i think <3 - 13x02.
need u to imagine harper learning about what a fucking Critter jack can be
i actually have thought about it before and I think she would be soooooo into it like holy shit. Imagine her stabbing jack and thinking she can finally zombify him but he doesn’t die and she’s like oh my goddddd you’re not human what are you Oohohohoh they are so perfect (〃´𓎟`〃)
꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷
also the fact that jack has been fully aware of how powerful and dangerous he is since like day one but only really uses it as a threat or leverage and to be a downright bitch to people he doesn’t like while still being adamant on maintaining his silly normal small town boy image … he is so very special
#thinking about when he fucking blackmailed Merle the reaper just to save his girl best friend kaia#like ‘ok tell billie what we’re doing tell her we did it on your watch and it’s your fault I fucking dare you’#or when he was bitching about not being able to Biden blast thousands of demons at once with a look anymore#or when Sam and Dean said they wanted to keep him safe until his soul got restored and he said ‘except given who I am what could do that?’#he KNOWS what he’s capable of and it’s both his greatest burden and greatest strength#he just doesn’t rlly care unless he can use it for others#he’s so special so so very special and important#holdthypeace.txt#spn#jack kline#has anyone thought about jack and kaia lately because they are also very special to me#harper sayles#spn 14x06#jackharper
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like sorry, I've done the whole "getting anon hate for calling an abuser an abuser" thing before, it literally could not bother me less. and in bandom they were better at it. at least there people sent me hate with some spirit to it. I'm not getting out of bed for less than a death threat, honestly
#sinjamin#'you and Lucy are soooo annoying we just tolerated you' okay <3 so don't <3 seems like you would be happier without#either of us in your life or your mind <3#idk about you but i simply don't send people anon hate#it's also super rich for people to like... act like we won't stand by our principles if it's someone we like?#my guy there is so much music i cant listen to anymore because it just reminds me that the guy is an abuser. there were like four cycles of#this in bandom#this is not a special ultra puritan stance i am only applying to this one guy i have been consistent on this for my entire tumblr history
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.
#I don’t feel excited about anything anymore#I keep trying to feel the way I used to about tv or movies or books or special events in my life#but there’s just this… hollow apathy#I’m just going through the days#alive but not there#what’s the point of living and being alive when nothing gives you any happiness#I know the whole ‘there will always be low points but that makes the highs all the better’ argument#but it’s been so low for so long and I can’t imagine ever feeling a high point again#it’s all just going to get worse from here#how do you cope when this is objectively the best time of your life and the most well off you’ll ever be but you’re still miserable#it’s pathetic#It’s going to be this but worse for the rest of my life and then nothing#and I’m so lucky with what I have and where I am and I’m still. so. sad.#it’s pathetic and stupid and I hate that I’m like this#I just… I don’t want to keep doing this#what do I do#tw: depression#tw: hopeless
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sometimes i think about how anduin not being king should realistically put the void elves in a... difficult position. it's not like alleria has ties to any other alliance leaders, and some of the most significant (like jaina) actively dislike and distrust her in a way that would 100% extend to the ren'dorei. anduin gave them a place in stormwind, but anduin is not around anymore. kinda feels like the clock should be ticking for someone to want to kick them out.
#and like. 'turalyon is regent' can be used to argue in favor of either side tbh#'he'd not go against the void elves because of alleria' wouldn't he though. bc if the light suggests he should or whatever i think he would#and i think regardless he is more than slightly liable to hear when people start showing Concern about the void influence#when he himself dislikes it#also alleria simply doesn't vibe with the alliance anymore#she's old. she was fighting for the alliance when varian was a baby new king#this alliance isn't her alliance#not that she vibes with the horde. she vibes with being factionless#specially with anduin gone.#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟#but also she can respect ditching your place as assigned heir by birth! live your best life king (affectionate)
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