#youre allowed to like it anyway but don't gaslight yourself into thinking this is anything but platonic besties

[anxietycheesecake]

The nandermo fandom never beating the "omg don't you get it, they're standing next to each other" allegations

[edwardteachswombtattoo]

"Namby-Pamby in a Silk Gown": Our Flag Means Death, Toxic Masculinity, Queer Culture, and the Feminine Man

So. Masculinity. Piracy. Our Flag Means Death. Gentlebeard. Izzy. Colonialism. What the heck does all this mean?

I've watched a lot of queer media in my life, from John Waters movies to more contemporary modern queer cinema like "Portrait of a Lady on Fire" and "The Handmaiden". I even watched through all six seasons of "The L Word". I had the original DVD box set and everything. But when I think of queer cinema, I think of camp. I think of old classics from the seventies and eighties and nineties. The Watermelon Woman, To Wong Foo, But I'm a Cheerleader!, Female Trouble, etc.

Our Flag Means Death is very camp. I'm not comparing it to classic queer cinema, it's a completely different experience from, say, watching a John Waters movie. But the show clearly pulls influence from classic queer cinema, at the very least for aesthetic purposes, i.e. Wee John's drag look in "Calypso's Birthday" heavily inspired by drag queen Divine. What makes Our Flag Means Death unique is it's artful sincerity and unabashed queerness for a show made so long after artful sincerity and unabashed queerness have become "taboo" in Western cinema.

This isn't me trashing modern queer cinema and modern queer fiction. I immensely enjoyed The Handmaiden and Badhaai Do, two excellent pieces of queer cinema that have come out within the past decade. Our Flag Means Death has entered the coveted position of best queer TV show I've personally seen in a very long time because of it's artful sincerity and unabashed queerness, not because it's better than anything that came before it...because it's not better or worse than anything that came before it! OFMD is it's own thing, it's own vibe, it's own story.

Our Flag Means Death is a story. And you can either engage with the story as written or engage only with certain small parts of it. The disconnect between audience and writers (and I say this as a writer myself) is that writers (most of them anyway) write stories for a media literate audience. But fundamentally, you do not need to reach a certain threshold of media literacy before you are allowed to engage with a story...you just engage. And this is both bad and good. No one should be barred from engaging with a story because they won't get it or even can't get it. Because if we prevent people who don't get it from engaging with the text, how are they ever going to learn how to engage with the text? They won't, is the answer. You can't gaslight gatekeep girlboss people into media literacy.

Our Flag Means Death is not a complex story. It's very straightforward. If you do not understand what the story is doing, it's not because you're being tricked or lied to: it's because, somewhere along the line, you've misunderstood. So when the story isn't making sense, it's useful to ask yourself: is this bad writing or have I misunderstood what's being said? And sometimes it is bad writing! Sometimes it is! But which is more likely: it's all bad writing or I've personally misunderstood what the story is trying to do? If you don't understand what a story is doing, all these little moments might look like bad writing--because your brain does not know what's happening! Your brain is trying to put a puzzle together but the pieces are all flipped over so you can't see the actual picture!

What is Our Flag Means Death is trying to do? If it's trying to do anything at all, what is it? And why does it make perfect sense for some people while others are confused, angry, even upset? And do they have a right to be? Fundamentally, if you think a story is trying to do something and it's failing at that, you have a right to be upset--and stories have a right to try and fail! That does not necessarily make the story objectively bad!

Our Flag Means Death is trying to commentate on masculinity. Like the oft misunderstood Fight Club (coincidentally, Fight Club was written by a gay man). This is relevant. It's actually all very relevant. There is a difference between what Our Flag Means Death is attempting to do vs. what it actually does. And the line between is thin to the point of nonexistence. The discussion surrounding masculinity and what it means to be a man is just so vast, so entangled with white colonialism and imperialism and racism that any discussion requires an understanding of how these systems function. And Our Flag Means Death invites this discussion--perhaps not intentionally, but it's there. It has to be there. We can't talk about what it means to be a man without talking about race. You cannot write a story featuring an indigenous brown man that partially centers masculinity without at least grazing these topics, intentionally or unintentionally.

This show is a comedy. A romantic comedy. I know that. We all know that. It's not going to spend forty minutes talking about race and colonialism. What it is going to do is have an indigenous man choke out a white colonizer while reading a love letter from his foppy fem boyfriend. What it is going to do is have little Ed murder his abusive white father to protect his mother. What it is going to do is have a bunch of British colonizers die horrifically after being poisoned by a black woman whose establishment they took over. What it is going to do is have Stede burn down a ship full of racist aristocrats while making sure we (the audience) see the servants escaping on a boat in the background while several of the aforementioned aristocrats jump off the burning ship to their probable deaths.

ed you are so fucking hot holy fuck oh my godd holy fuck

Ahem.

Our Flag Means Death is not a subtle show. So when it looks you directly in the eye and says "HEY!! THIS CHARACTER IS BULLYING THIS OTHER CHARACTER WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A FEMININE GAY MAN! I WONDER WHY THAT IS HMMM???" you should perhaps take that into consideration.

This show loves it's small details, it's winks and nods at the audience. Stede not wearing his rings the morning after "Calypso's Birthday", Wee John having a place to sit at all times, etc. But when it comes to overarching super important plot points? It's never whispered, always shouted. Or whatever Hozier said.

"Some namby-pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend" --Izzy to Ed "A proper little seductress" --Izzy to Lucius "Who's the big gal?" --Jack to/about Stede "a heavyset woman in a silk dressing gown" --one of the British naval officers about Stede

White colonial masculinity tightens a proverbial vice around all the men in Our Flag Means Death. Some of them die for it. Others overcome and live beyond it. But it is a system enforced through emotional and physical violence. Bullying from your peers, threats of physical or emotional retaliation for stepping out of line. The coveted status of Man (patriarch, father, husband) and the inferior status of Woman (mother, wife) that must never touch. The status of Failed Man (feminine, weak, soft).

I think Orville Peck and Willie Nelson said it first.

"And I believe to my soul that inside every man is the feminine And inside every lady, there's a deep manly voice loud and clear" ... "And inside every lady, there's a cowboy who'd love to come out And inside every cowboy, there's a lady who'd love to slip out"

The answer to the question What is Our Flag Means Death trying to do? is a simple one. The show tells us, in very few words, what it is trying to do. The answer to Does it succeed in what it's trying to do? is subjective.

Stede's escape from traditional colonial masculinity and his subsequent disavowing of it are subjective interpretations. But what is objective is how Our Flag Means Death chooses to approach masculinity. "Gal", "woman", "namby-pamby", and "seductress" are words used against the least traditionally masculine characters by characters who (arguably) exemplify what being a man is supposed to look like--in other words, they are being degraded by men who exemplify that traditional colonial masculinity. And because they exemplify traditional colonial masculinity, degrading men who do not follow the doctrine is an essential part of that. There must be the status of Man, the status of Woman, and the status of Failed Man that overlaps with the status of Woman. Stede is the Failed Man who overlaps with the status of Woman.

And what of Edward Teach?

This is where the status of Man, Woman, Failed Man, Failed Woman becomes less relevant. Because of course it's all fucking made up and the whole damn concept of the gender binary is colonial nonsense. But it is especially colonial nonsense when we're talking about an indigenous brown man whose concepts of masculinity are so very removed culturally from the fast encroaching shadow of colonization. The divide becomes more vast and deliberate than when we talk about Stede, because Ed and Stede's concepts of what it means to be a man are not fundamentally identical. And then we arrive at the part where Ed chokes out a British colonizer with one hand while reading a letter from his boyfriend with the other hand. And you know, it's very hot and I think we need more of that.

"Calypso's Birthday" is a celebration of queer love and queer joy and it's also where the themes of masculinity and embracing the feminine become so relevant. Because what else is there to say, except how much of this episode hinges on the transformative powers of love and the transformative powers of self-expression through gender fuckery? Wee John and Jim in drag, Izzy (the guy who spent most of last season getting upset that everyone on the fag ship was fagging it up all over the place) in drag, Stede and Ed's first time. And let's not forget the original plan for Episode 6 was for Stede to get a sexy makeover that involved him wearing eyeliner. We were robbed and I will be mad about this for the next 20,000 years.

There's a part of Our Flag Means Death that's about the transformative power of love and another about how toxic masculinity literally kills and another about how artful sincerity is more attractive than ruthless cynicism in fictional media and a big huge one about how you can't critique traditional toxic masculinity without getting into these discussions about colonialism. And Our Flag Means Death does these things very well, even when it's not doing them very well it's still doing them okay. I think the gay pirate show is going to be one of those "classic" pieces of queer media that people look back on fifty or so years from now in the same way people look at queer cinema from the seventies, eighties, nineties, etc. "Oh, Our Flag Means Death? That was a fun time. I wish there were more shows like that nowadays".

[separatist-apologist]

I don’t think I’ll ever sent my money to her again. I‘ll either just support my local library and read the upcoming books from there or download pdf.

Sjm and Bloomsbury clearly don’t gaf about her fans and I‘m not going to waste my money just for her books to come out mediocre. Hofas was absolutely stupid and I‘m still mad about the fact that I wasted money on that crap. And all these ridiculous bonus chapters? There was absolutely no need to include that many bonus chapters, except they just wanted more money.

Anyway, I‘d love to pay you instead.

I keep trying not to sound bitter and exhausted but like...I guess maybe I am a little bitter and exhausted.

My hater opinion under the cut. Read at your own hater risk

I don't think SJM enjoys this series anymore, and nothing and no one can convince me she does. ACOSF was...I mean, she said it herself, she was not in a good place when she wrote it and I think going back and re-reading, you get the sense that she was not as in love with those characters/stories like maybe she was, once.

Ultimately I'll never know because I don't pretend to have any insight into SJM's emotional/mental well-being. I could speculate all day long on why things are done the way they're done.

What I do know is that publishing is a dying business and SJM brings Bloomsbury a TON of money. People are always talking about ACOTAR, doing free advertising in a multitude of ways (discussing theories, posting tiktoks, commissioning art- all of that is free advertising for the books/publisher), and I think they're going to ride the runaway success of the series for as long as they can. People will buy anything with SJM's name printed on it- why not these lazy "nightcourt editions" too?

And look what happened. They post them and it reignites the arguments, the theories, the excitement that I thought was dying down a little. It also silenced some of the criticism (or, at least, drowned it out). Now people are back to passionately arguing what the bonus chapters mean (nothing other than $$$), what nightcourt means (nothing- they're just black), theorizing the next couple, when the books will drop, and being overall excited about just the possibility of something new.

And I am personally just very tired of all of it. I've said for a long time SJM's fanbase is far more passionate than she is, that they (we) do a lot of work on the backend to make these stories make coherent sense, and are generally exceptionally passionate in a way that, for example, allows SJM to sweep the Goodreads Choice Awards despite writing what was, in my opinion, a very sloppy conclusion to a series people were incredibly excited about.

I have no interest in a gwynriel/elucien book, personally, which I don't think we'll be getting in 2025. I haven't really enjoyed one of her books since ACOMAF/Crown of Midnight- you can see the decline in quality despite the ballooning word count. And I know someone is gonna show up/vague me about how HOFAS was a masterpiece and like. Whatever, I guess, you can gaslight yourself but you can't gaslight me.

[cakejerry]

asks pt.2 more recent ones

ft fanfiction anon, minho is ugly, thank you minjoon people for the links and fic recs!!! and the anon with the random jikook takes

ive been debating answering this one, like... yeah, obviously. but no jimin hate is allowed on this blog so youre getting blocked

idk, ive also been thinking about posting this but... i don't have any thoughts. except that this just proves how close they are, in any sense. and yes that was literally a joke we don't actually think their parents were involved, cmon. 'meds exist' cmon. 'suicide everyday' yeah you're a troll never message me again, goodbye.

this is why i can never take any of those charts seriously, they all say something different and everybody's #1 somewhere. its literally all imaginary and extremely unimportant. and instead of frauding jimin, which would have gotten him nothing but hate, i wish instead they'd left jungkook alone so we could see who ACTUALLY has what it takes

i have literally never understood the hype around jungkook. but maybe thats because he only started glowing up around 2019, which is when most of these taekookers came to the fandom, lol. but your last sentence was funny, 10/10

jimin should have always been the center of that triangle. vmin vs jikook i would like to see it. the classic main drama lead thats semi toxic and interesting and the second lead who's the best friend and the better option but jimin chooses jungkook anyways lol

minjoon under the stars ahhh jimin is such a sweet little glazed donut that needs to be handled with utmost care

blocked. also that's because namjoon has the charisma of a tree. but jimin could have chemistry with a brick wall so suck it. minjoon forever

cute little fanfiction moment but i dont think it holds any water in real life terms, or means anything, honestly. but thank you for the links

here come the fanfiction writers. also that's the finger heart emoji for the curious minds my laptop is prehistoric. anyways. im not gonna grace this with any further comment.

sure

this is making me ctfu because its just a clip of jungkook dancing to 3d but anon is sooo disgusted ahahhahaha. bts were different??? different from what :joy emoji:. also, if you see this, elaborate on your last sentence please.

i literally dgaf he is so ugly and his bug eyes weird me out and im convinced kpop fans have a mass gaslight thing going on trying to convince me he's attractive. 2. jonghyun wouldnt work with jimin for several reasons i just brought him up because whenever im thinking about 'men in the industry who aren't shit' he's the only one who comes up. 3. love that you just fully spiraled into waxing poetic about jimins ass there. understandble.

sure

well yeah but specifically the tweets i was posting are so... racially motivated. whitewashed jimin=white=good=pure=innocence=bottom and top jungkook=rough=tough=raw=dirty=dark skin. like it was just so weird to me.

umm sure, whatever you say anon. im gonna forget all of what you told me now because i genuinely do not want to know.

yup this is the general consensus in cakejerryland

thank you for this rec actually!!!!!!!!! it looks scrumptious and WILL be posting my thoughts upon finishing!!!

thank you random citizen!!! omg idk if you knew i have a hyung kink or not but this is sooo not that. laugh emoji laugh emoji jimin is soooo cute he's a kiddo playing around!!! babyy

i respect the grind. i do not, however, respect him.

okayy anndddd... what do you want me to do about this?

yes he wants to be perceived as such. we agreed upon this when seven dropped. and idc and it doesnt matter to me because i dont expect any of bts to come out so they will all forever be ambiguously straight and theres no point to discussing it further

fanservice is in the job description. but you said it yourself. 'natural' dynamic. they're simply the closest and we can't deny this

umm sure. i didn't see anything special in those clips at all lol i was not gagged. they were just looking at each other and they do that every single time they're in public or on camera or on stage together

lol hawaii was ... a time. they were also "doing laundry," don't forget.

[cripplemetal]

Hi! I have a question. I'm a 20 year old woman with fibromyalgia since I was 16, chronic migraines, and hypermobile joints where I roll things and pull muscles, but I've never dislocated anything. I know this might have a long rambling answer (which I love) but I have a couple questions.

1. How do I get better about not complaining about my pain? It's really difficult for me because I'm surrounded by able bodied family and friends, except for my mom who also has fibromyalgia. She's just really good at not saying anything.

2. How do I deal with imposter syndrome or whatever? I constantly feel different, because some days I can just go and it's great and I don't really feel bad the next day. But other times, I can barely walk up the stairs or go to work. Like, I hate that I can function, but not consistently. And every time I have a not great day or a flare up, I feel really bad for asking for help. My friends and family love me and always help, I just feel bad about it.

3. Lastly, do you have any good answers to the question "if you had a chance to have your pain taken away, would you?" because I wouldn't and people are always shocked and I can't explain it.

Thank you so much for answering these and I hope you have a good day!

omg! hi! i'm sorry this will be a long post...

1.

and why would you want to stop complaining? do you actually want that? you have every right to complain and if it bothers anyone it's not your problem. not sure why you feel like you need to shut up about your pain, pain is HELLISH torturing.

and for myself i noticed that i can endure it better if i grunt and whine and complain. i'm sorry if it's not the answer you hoped to receive but i mean... that's my genuine answer-

2.

sameee + sending hugs + did you try gaslighting yourself into abled? :D

like, if you struggle with impostor syndrome which means your mind tries to tell you that you're faking it — if that's true, you should be pretty much able to convince yourself that you're healthy! it doesn't work??? oh i guess you're not abled.........

but seriously, it takes a lot of time, i still struggle. but like. you know. why would an able-bodied person live like this? who would ever choose to talk about pain, visit doctors, use mobility aids, spend days in bed doing nothing and dying from boredom, if they're perfectly healthy?

and having a good friend to be your abled reference (one of my last posts here lol) helps so much. she's here to verify that my experience is FAR from abled.

and if we're trying to take a different approach: what if i'm abled. i'm abled, totally healthy, and sooo bored that i like using mobility aids, lie about my pain and etc etc etc. who suffers from this? no one! who's hurt? no one! you're allowed to do ANYTHING that helps you or just simply brings you joy. of course you're disabled, but while your mind still fights the impostor syndrome — it's okay to think that you're just living you life how you want, because you're allowed. it's okay. you hurt no one.

3.

honestly i might be not the better person for this question because i would... i hate being in pain 24/7 with no pauses at all.

i certainly did witness other people explaining their choice so you can browse and search! i saw something like "disability made me who i am with my unique experience" (NOT A QUOTE, just trying to remember anything). anyway, there's a lot of people like you that you can address with this!

but sometimes, just sometimes, i'm okay with how i am. it's when i enjoy life in some ways, when pain isn't a crucial factor, when my body allows me to experience so many things and be happy, so if it does it even through pain — i'm grateful for this.

———————————

tbh i'm not sure i was the best help here, but i'm always open to asks and dms so. you're not alone!

[deviantartdramahub]

This idiot is digging their own grave the way they use the r-slur in literally EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR POSTS. https://web.archive.org/web/20240525040642/https://www.deviantart.com/liesoft/status-update/The-retard-tangent-continues-I-never-1055857742 https://web.archive.org/web/20240525075517/https://www.deviantart.com/liesoft/status-update/More-wild-tangents-by-the-1055926540

So anyways they're once again acting creepy towards Ninja, suggesting they're simping for someone. I'm sure they're hoping for it to be them Ninja's simping for, in your dreams dear, they're just gonna call you out on your bullshit. :3

And we don't know who you are, you're just a random loser on the internet, and I really couldn't care less who you are in real life.

And oh, more saying I'm not allowed to say anything because I'm a minor...I'm at a point where I'm old enough to drive, but I guess because I haven't reached my 18th year yet, I haven't magically become a person. Considering the fact you're on the side of people who tried grooming others in the past (https://www.tumblr.com/deviantartdramahub/730118286087471104/sodadramanow-lovvess-accusing-others-of?source=share) it really doesn't surprise me you wanna silence minors. And the fact the only way you can defend yourself is by invalidating me for my age sure is telling. I exposed you as a terrible person and you know it.

And stop saying you don't know Evie and never defended her, you did so right here https://web.archive.org/web/20240522184812/https://www.deviantart.com/liesoft/status-update/Nonsensical-nonse-spewing-more-vomit-1054806814 You can't successfully gaslight me, dear.

And wtf is sadge how could you make a typo that bad lmao-And yes, you tried manipulating me, you tried manipulating me into thinking Ninja dragged me into drama and was a bad person, don't act like you didn't. The proof's right there in the ask you linked.

Ninja and Tri never asked me to speak up for myself, I chose to do that for myself. Because believe it or not, kids still have the ability to think for themselves.

Let's see if Liar can actually come up with an actual defense for themself, tomorrow, on Desperate Housewives! (Redoing Ninja's joke for funsies ehehe.)

If they have a good argument, they're not showing any signs of it.

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 177 - Wonderland

Jon: When did I become everybody’s satnav?

Hasn't he also complained about being used as the supernatural Google before? Jon, I think you're just everyone's entire smartphone at this point. You even do entertaining little podcast segments about local sights!

Martin: What? No, no, that can’t be right. I thought people weren’t even allowed to die any more.

I mean, that's not strictly true, though, is it? Didn't Oliver Banks explicitly say that the End can't exist as a fear without death remaining real? And really, there's no particular reason why "some people can still die" would only be true in that particular domain...

Martin: He needs to make a statement. Basira: Is that like a euphemism or…? Okay, this is getting very silly, but also I still sniggered.

Hi. How are we doing? - Jon's statement

Oh, the doctor's 'we' is a beautiful touch. So wonderfully condescending, immediately made me feel trapped (and why the FUCK do doctors irl keep doing that anyway? I've never had a doctor who used the 'medical we' who turned out to be any good!)

Well, I’m afraid I’ll have to disagree with you there. That’s not your name at all. Now don’t get agitated, I’m sure we’ll get there.

Oh, and that. That hurts! "No, you're crazy, so you no longer get to decide anything about yourself, not even your very identity. And if that upsets you, that's just another sign of your illness". The ripping away of any autonomy. Yeah, no, that's suitably nightmarish. (You could also read this from a transphobia angle, couldn't you?)

I’m here to help you, to treat you, to make it so you’re less of a… burden to everyone.

AAAAAH!

Jon: Satisfied? Basira: Fuck.

Just, Basira's delivery here. This is the most matter-of-fact way you could possibly say "Fuck".

Jon: It’s sort of, like… gaslighting, but in reverse. This place, it’s built on the fear that your mental health problems aren’t actually real. (...) Bad therapists. Let’s just say it’s the fear of bad therapists, filtered through The Spiral.

Okay, Johny, just, why this? Who in the audience needed the explanatory notes??? Trust your audience to do basic media interpretation. You have so far!

Jon: What, you think he ended up in Wonderland House at random? We’re just going to ignore it, and write him off as a ‘nasty piece of work’? Basira: We don’t have time for this.

It's the fucking apocalypse, you're literally on your way to KILL Daisy because she didn't want to live as a monster, and you still won't even stop to consider that her victims might not have DESERVED the monstrous shit she's done to them? Denial sure runs deep...

Jon: Then we should make time. You want to hear how he ended up blinding that man? Because it wasn’t a robbery. He was running away from Daisy, lashing out in a panic. The court believed it. But you believed her…

Oh, now that's a gut-punch of a revelation if I've ever seen one!

Helen: Not to sound like a squeaky hinge...

... a door metaphor? Really? Pffffft!

My impression of this episode

This episode has some genuinely terrifying moments. The concept of "Let's take the worst parts of the medical / mental health care system and say the quiet parts out loud, then combine that with the worst things your brain tells you" is perhaps a bit on the nose, but also genuinely, deeply, nauseatingly unsettling. This episode just kind of ruins itself by then proceeding to explain the point (which was already pretty obvious) in detail. Just ... there are a lot of episodes that I don't personally connect with, but TMA very rarely makes decisions that I would call "bad writing". Unfortunately this is one of them. YOU HAD A GOOD (and horrifying) THING GOING THERE! Mind, that's still not enough to ruin the whole episode for me, particularly not when that "And now for those in the audience who weren't paying attention" bit is immediately followed by a genuinely hard-hitting conversation about Basira and Daisy.

[wild-wombytch]

Agreed. You don't have to put up with that anon. You definitely have the right (if not the need) to take up space and be "problematic" when men disregard your boundaries. And indeed. Always. Trust. Your. Guts.

I had so many issues at your age and a bit younger because I didn't listen to my guts and I tend to be waaaay too trustful because I've been essentially conditioned to believe that something is wrong with me when I see red flags and it's a long process to unlearn.

Men have been gross to women since forever, I wouldn't be surprised if our "inner alarms" are essentially inherited trauma responses we learn from other women as a mean of survival. Better getting called all kinds of misogynistic shits and unpleasant (by people who don't deserve you and care about your safety anyways) than ending up in situations you can't escape. You still have the possibility to act and the power.

Gay men don't want anything to do with vulvas (they can be very misogynistic though and don't assume you're safe from sexual assault ""as a joke"" from them or that every male claiming to be gay is indeed exclusively homosexual. Some haven't figured themselves out and others call themselves gay as a synonym for "kweer" bihet polyam kinkster and other know full well that calling themselves gay allow them to approach women while numbing their inner alarm. Kinda like male sexual predators who say they're trans women/she-her just to make you dismiss creepy behaviours and get into women's spaces). He indeed seems to prey on insecure/young females and if you're gnc, it's possible he has a type. (For all the talks men have about how disgusting they find "those men-like hairy feminist with short hair", trust me, they do wank on their porn fantasies of us. I'm almost being hit on more now that I'm the most obvious butch dyke than in my failed femme days. Always the same +45 divorced smelly ass alcoholic type.)

I can smell this scrote's stench just from your description. It majorly sucks that you need to be wary of males so young. They're growing on porn now, it makes me so worried for girls in school age now. Every girl should be given an axe at age 10 and should be eligible to have a butch bouncer following them around and breaking the teeth of creepy males breathing in their direction.

If you need to let out 💜misandrists💜 rants, I think most radblr is the right place. Take care anon, don't gaslight yourself into thinking you're overreacting 🫂

hii! I've followed this blog for some time now and only recently started having this issue, honestly you seemed the safest to come to. I'm a junior in high school, very into theatre and acting. most people in my troupe are pretty chill, except for this one dude who somehow managed to accomplish having the exact personality of a creepy, distant uncle at age 17. he's taken a very gross liking to me. he refuses to acknowledge personal space when talking to me and somehow always finds a way to be uncomfortably near me at all times. it kinda peaked a few weeks ago when I was looking for a dress in the costume closet and had the door slightly cracked while I was changing. and he just stood outside the door, chatting with another male friend. the only thing is, he claims to be gay which at first convinced me I was safe. until I found out he's only dated tifs in the past and it made me just a little suspicious. I can't really go to anyone about it, just very grateful he's a senior and this will be my last year putting up with his neckbeard, basement-dwelling, body-pillow-humping ass. I'm safe, don't worry, just wanted to share a gross man experience with a fellow gross man hater <3

hey :) sorry if I'm being late, but thank you for writing you this! and wow, I feel really special now haha

and what the hell is this guy? what even is his problem? he is such a disgusting weirdo, appropriating the label of "gay man" and making life more difficult for both women and gay men at the same time.

also, from how you're describing him, do you think that it could be that he looked for the most depressed young girls with the biggest self-esteem issues (i.e. TIFs), because they are easier to manipulate? and why don't you have people that you can go to? that would be important so you can watch out for each other. because if you feel like something's off, there probably is. please trust your gut in these situations.

and if he comes too close again and you are in a safe situation, you really should tell him off. I really mean it. something like "hey, you're coming too close right now. that's kinda weird dude"

from what he sounds like, he's insecure and preys on girls he perceives as self-conscious. I have had my fair share of these guys as well in my teenage years, when I was more insecure. all of the neckbeards came swarming to me like insects to light. it's a certain type of guy that I now recognize so well. it's always these unwashed guys with nasal voices, sparse facial hair and greasy ass strands. from what I guess, that dude sounds exactly like this. make sure he keeps his smelly ass, his stained anime shirts and his velcro sneakers at arm's length from you!

[windrsr]

Yandere oc ranking of most tolerable to least tolerable (totally not planning anything)

(Lol okay so this is just my opinion on who's most tolerable to least tolerable. If anyone has a different list/opinion, that's okay!)

Tw: Mention of stalking on Loki's part.

----------------------------------------------

1. Tyler - He's difficult to make angry or frustrated, even if you're being disobedient. He head over heels for you, and he's pretty submissive, willing to do anything for you. You can even walk all over him and treat him like shit, and he will still love you anyway. He's one of the most tolerable, unless you try to escape from him.

2. Samuel - As long as you're obedient and let him do everything for you, you should be alright. You don't need to do anything drastic, and you don't have to do any work. In fact, you don't have to do anything. He gives you food, clothes, spoils you, and plenty of "love" and comfort. He doesn't ask for much, and you don't have to give him anything in return.

3. Ryan - He's a little rough around the edges; he tries his best to be gentle and protect you, but sometimes he goes about it in a harmful way. He can be over protective as well, and he can even lock you in his house for your own protection. However, he would never physically hurt you in anyway.

4. Loki - At first, being with him is overwhelming; he was very possessive and controlling at first, and got suspicious whenever you want to leave or if you try to do anything without him. Over time, he begins to be more relaxed and layed back for the most part (while also stalking you, at the same time-).

5. Miru - He manipulates you into thinking that he's an innocent doll who could do no harm. He comes dependent on you, forcefully making you into his caregiver, while giving you a sweet and innocent-like personality to cover it up. Miru will gaslight you if you criticize him on this, making it seem like you're the one who's in the wrong. He relies on you for everything; his daily life, schedule, how he dresses, pretty much everything. Your tolerance over all depends on how much you can handle the "caregiver" role.

6. Aaron - Probably one of the worst best friends out there. He smothers you with affection to a point where it's overwhelming. He isolates you from your friends and family, and will start crying (fake crying but hey he's one good actor lol) if you try to break up your "friendship", which proves he's very manipulative and controlling. He won't stop until he has you all to himself, going as far as stalking you and breaking multiple of your boundaries.

7. Henry - Very controlling and manipulative. He controls your daily life, schedule, what you wear, what you eat, and pretty much everything you have. You're not allowed to even care for yourself or do anything on your own, and he doesn't take care of you how Samuel would; he treats you like a doll, a thing for him to play with and dress up.

8. Micheal - In my opinion, he's the worst. He will kidnap you, experiment on you, and may even make you develop Stockholm Syndrome so you can stay with him, make you see how he's the only one for you, and wanting to have control of you at all times. He treats you more like a pet rather than a person.

[whiskehorange]

Domestic headcannons for the man, John and doom head?

The Man

Annoying. He's fucking annoying

He's relatively up to date with society and I 100% believe that he not only have social media but especially TikTok and Reddit. He looks like he uses reddit deviously

Anyways, despite what you might think, he's a homebody and would like to keep it that way. He doesn't like going out when he doesn't need to and thinks the same about you. Why you always going out all the damn time? Stay home with him

He's protective and obsessive, of course, and only really wants you home so that he could have you all to himself. If he has to go out he will, but he'll complain the entire time

The house is relatively quiet as well, only him being on his phone for the day with you laying by his side. Deep down he's a sucker for watching movies and shows with you though, he's just picky

Very much not girlboss

Gaslight and gatekeep though

Cannot cook and will not learn. He gets out of it every time saying that he'll watch and learn from you but he never does, in one ear and out the other

Same thing with cleaning, he just doesn't do it and when he does he doesn't do it right. Why the fuck are you even dating him? I mean, if the shoe fits, wear it I guess. Make him do something for the love of God

John

He's quiet and so is his life outside of that. It's comfy out there in the woods but sometimes the eerie silence can get to you if you don't occupy yourself

Uhm.. how do I put this? John is a family man but... it's just not in the ways we think, alright? He'll more than certainly take care of you and provide for you but seems very absent from the home in general

A lot of his time is spend outside and even maintaining the property throughout the day. Walking the grounds and removing anything that isn't supposed to be there, if you know what I mean. It would mean a lot if you did so with him though!

He's equally as unsettling as the silence too, but it's a little cute. You can catch him staring at you from in the yard at almost anytime of day. Other than that he's out and on his way

The two of you eventually manage to get decent enough cell service for him to have a phone, so expect really shitty accidental pictures and some high quality ones of scenery or foliage that he thinks you might enjoy

Sets gifts for you either on the porch or on your nightstand for you to wake up to constantly, how sweet

Doom Head

Domestic is not the right word for Doom Head. Off-duty is

There's also no way to write for this man in a positive light, have you seen him? Look at him and tell me he has even a single nice word to say? He's more girlboss than The Man though...

He's not up for the whole domestic life either, but you know it's what he needs. It's rare for him to really get the chance to relax formally when he's home anyways, but he'll admit you add a liiiitttle light to his life

You get compliments, sure! But they're not worded very nicely! He gives you a hard time and nags a lot, but you simply being allowed over is many times is a privilege on it's own, so don't push it

Doesn't really take you on nice dates very often or really ever, but will toss you a handful of cash if he really wants to get you out of his hair for the day. Go use it for whatever the fuck you want but just bring a case of beer back on your way home

Physical attention is scarce too, but when he does give you the half assed hug and forceful kiss it'll mean something. I mean half of his kisses tastes like beer and tobacco but you settled for this, so don't look at me with a scrunched nose

He's protective of you too, but it shows much differently than you might expect. He's not going to be your bodyguard 24/7 and go out with you on shopping trips or days out, but you'll have enough markings from him for people to get the point

Lester

Oh yeah, house wife Lester at your service

God, he's the most hillbilly you could get but he sure does love smothering you in everything he's got to offer. Do you know how long it's been since he's had someone who isn't a stranger not be mean to him or make fun of him? Just let him give you all of the praise and attention awkwardly as he can

Honestly, I can see the two of you starting a little farm that you tend to everyday. Lester has no problem with the dirt and you enjoy making it bright and colorful with different growing fruits, veggies, and flowers. Occasionally having to refill holes Jonesy's dug and buried something in

You get a lot of gifts from Lester as well, especially things that are specifically shiny and not as dirty that he finds while he's out. He'll come strutting over to you, smile plastered on his face as he hands you a respectively clean racoon bone. Sweet, just another one to add to the collection you involuntarily started

He loves making you laugh and going on trips with you. Anywhere you want to go is on him, just hop in the truck with him and Jonesy and he'll take you somewhere

When it comes it comes to his brothers, specifically Bo, he takes you side often when he's being negative or just rude. Lester isn't one for arguing, giving that he grew up with Bo and knows it's useless to do so with him but he doesn't like when it's about you or directed to you unintentionally

Picnics all the time. Doubt he even has his own dinner table anyways. Guess you'll just eat on the floor

[aroaceconfessions]

This is not just an asexual thing but in this case it's connected and I really want to get it off my chest: Sometimes, you can watch yourself do the most stupid things, relationship-wise, like from the outside, fully aware but unable to stop yourself and it's the absolute WORST.

In highschool I had a bad fallout with one of the absolute best friends I've ever had because he fell for me and I, aroace but not 100% sure about it then, gave it a shot against my insecurities and feelings of discomfort. Needless to say, I shouldn't have, and despite him very clearly (in hindsight) gaslighting me into doing things I didn't want to, the blame is also on me. I miss him a lot, but because of what happened back then I lost his friendship and have been living without it for four years, still feeling the empty space in my life very intensely at times.

Now, another friend of mine is showing the signs, huge romantic gestures and all. And until he did that, I was toying with the idea of coming out to him and seeing if he was up for a qpr (he's very likely queer so I was hoping there'd be more understanding than from the average person), but now the desire to do it, finally allow someone in, has all but vanished into thin air. I can see myself pushing him away and I hate myself for it. I really don't want to ruin our friendship, but I feel uncomfortable with his attention all of a sudden, although I know that it all really is about how we would define these gestures, and, truth be told, he'd been giving this type of attention to me all the time, it just took me so long to figure it out.

Now I'm starting to think that even platonically, anything that is more exclusive than friendship is something that sounds great in theory but is impossible and horrifying for me in practice. I know there is a label for it that I cannot think of right now, but I don't really want to go there because it would make things feel so final.

Anyway, this whole confession is all over the place but if you want to - cross your fingers that I find a way to salvage this and not ruin an important relationship again.

[ransprang]

I haven't read anything like this yet.. How about a little yanderes Viktor and Jayce, if you accept, that sort of thing is clear!!

Yandere Viktor

(He's so cute in this GIF I absolutely cant)

- He's a mad scientist. Yandere flows in his blood. He is observant and used to figuring things out quickly. This man will notice within seconds if someone is interested in you or vice versa. He will take you away from the scene within minutes.

- Someone talks to you a little too friendly? Best believe you'll catch Viktor trying to use the hexcore to hurt them. Can it be mixed in their drink and internally electrocute them? well this is going to be 'researched' by our dear Viktor.

- He's used to doing experiments knowing very well they aren't safe. What makes you think he wont politely ask the person looking at you with a sweet gaze to help him out in the lab?

- You saw the third arm Viktor made with Jayce? (No I dont mean his actual third arm ;)) Well if he tells you not to speak to someone and he catches you...laughing around with that person. He will hold you down and lock you in the lab overnight by force using the claw. Keep screaming, you shouldn't have been laughing like that anyways.

- Viktor isn't big on strength, but that man has learned to use his words like a scissor. Get ready for intense gaslighting if you go out of line or disobey him. In his thick Russian accent he will say "Do you hate me?", "Are you embarrassed of me y/n?"

- He does love you. That is why he is overprotective do this extent. In those soft moments where he is at ease, he forgets all the pain and fondly lays on your lap as you caress his hair.

Yandere Jayce

- Jayce will walk around the whole academy with his hand around your waist. Don't you dare look at anyone else with that sweet look of yours.

- Jayce will use his council powers or rather abuse them. If he catches you being a little too flirty with another man.

- Jayce has authority in his voice. You can expect the same authority in your life. He will dictate what you wear and who you talk to. Under the pretext of helping maintain councilor Talis's image of course.

- You are not allowed in the Lab. Viktor is always there and...what work do you even have in there? He will restrict your movements around the academy. In fact where you go at all. He has locked you in the house while leaving several times.

- Get ready for wall punches. When he gets angry he will punch the wall and watch you scream in fear as a punishment "If you didn't want this...why did you talk to them today?"

- He will aggressively hold you by your arm to pull you away or threaten you to behave yourself. It will leave blue black bruises on the areas he held you.

- Jayce will finally show his love towards you by gently kissing you in the moonlight on the balcony of his apartment. While softly holding you by your waist.

Your hexwhore,

Admin Sav

[defiantsuggestions]

I feel like I can't really say I was abused because it's not as bad as it used to be. When I was younger I wasn't allowed to eat until the house was spotless, my dad regularly hit and spanked me and put me in a headlock when I did some normal little kid thing like refuse to take a nap, I would walk into my room and find my stuff destroyed and thrown around because my dad was angry, my dad even tried to exorcise the "autism demon" out of me, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

As I got older it evolved more into just verbal stuff. Slurs, insults, screaming, gaslighting, etc. Not that that stuff didn't happen when I was younger as well, it's just that by the time I was about 15 he stopped causing any physical harm to me. And he says I deserve it all and everyone else has it much worse and no one else would be able to love me or put up with me and I still believe it most of the time. I did some really dumb things when I was younger (as in 12/13) that my dad still holds against me in any arguments we have.

Anyway, sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be upset because he's at least changed a bit; and his parents were abusive, so I feel like I owe him sympathy.

Sorry this took so long to answer, it's a lot to cover and I have a few things I want to say.

1: if you are uncomfortable with the term "abuse" you don't have to use it. Go at your own pace, it's up to you. However, you do need to recognize the harm caused in order to process your trauma.

2: if you're asking for permission to call this abuse, ("I feel I cant say I was abused" reads more as not being sure if it counts than it reads as discomfort to me, but I wanted to cover that base too), then yes, what was done to you absolutely counts as abuse.

Abuse is what happens when someone with power hurts someone else, routinely, and the victim is unable to escape due to financial reasons, due to law, due to physical restraint, or due to conditioning.

Abuse can be physical. Abuse can be sexual. Abuse can be emotional and mental. Abuse can be financial.

A parent routinely doing things that hurts their child, for example, is abuse. It is impossible for the child to get away. There's a power dynamic being exploited and nothing the child can do about it.

To use another example; a romantic couple is abusive if one holds all the financial power and verbally assults the other on a regular basis, ignoring all protest because, well, they have the financial power and their victim can't leave. They can scream and yell insults all day, utterly distroy their partners self esteem, and there isn't a way to escape that.

Another example; a teen in school getting bullied by other teens. The other teens have numbers, and the victim is legally required to be there, and if the adults don't do anything about it and just let the victim suffer then that victim has suffered abuse.

3: if an abuser grows less abusive over time, or otherwise stops being abusive altogether, that doesn't make their previous actions no longer abusive. Your dad stopped hitting you- that doesn't make the fact that he used to hit you go away. Destroying your things, the physical assault, refusing to feed you. These things don't stop being abusive acts he did to you just because he's no longer doing them.

4: Verbal abuse is abuse. Screaming slurs at you and claiming you deserve it and gaslighting you is abuse.

5: Saying that no one else would be able to put up with you or love you? Abuse. My abusers used to do that, my abusers would threaten to throw me out on the streets whenever they were in a bad mood, to make me so afraid of abandonment that I'd put up with them and stop complaining. It's abuse. And it's awful, completely awful that he says those things to you. The fact that you believe it, that's something he did to you. He made you believe it. It's not true, there are billions of people out there and he has no fucking say in who would love you or not.

6: Being a victim of abuse is not an excuse to be abusive yourself. I was abused heavily, for decades, for what will ultimately be half of my overall life. If I go out and beat up a child and claim that I'm allowed to do it because I myself was abused, I'd be a terrible fucking person.

Your father being a victim himself in no way excuses his treatment of you.

7: You are not obligated to feel sympathy to your abuser. You do not owe someone who hurts you sympathy. If you feel sympathy regardless, if it is not something you can help feeling, remember that factually he does not deserve sympathy and you owe him nothing.

You're allowed to feel sympathy if that's what you feel, but don't let it cloud your judgment of what he has done.

8: You deserve to be upset. You have every right to be upset. I don't care that he's improved. He physically abused you and he is currently emotionally and verbally abusing you and the fact that you want to think it's okay that he does this is a symptom of being abused since childhood. He did this to you.

9: trying to exercise the "autism demon" out of you is shitty and ableist.

10: Overall, the things that your dad has done and is doing to you are, frankly, unforgivable, and you deserve to be angry at him for it. You deserve to be upset.

What you deserve, anon, is to be treated better. You deserve to be safe and loved and away from his abuse. He hurts you, regularly. Screaming slurs and insults and gaslighting you is hurting you. You don't deserve to be hurt. You deserve to be treated better than this, anon.

And I'm so, so sorry you've been treated this way.

You deserve better.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Trigger Warning: mention of ex friendship, anxiety, feeling of guilt and shame

I had a close friend who for years we were in a bit of an unhealthy uncomfortable friendship in that I could be easily sensitive and offended, and they were often frustrated with my sensitivity. I suppose we clung together from our school days since both felt like outsiders. Though over time it felt like I couldn’t do anything right by the relationship. She’d often give me the silent treatment, and accuse me of not caring because I am a fairly quiet and passive person who contains my feelings.

For example When I was off work with depression and stress and we were planning a trip away, I was so frazzled and upset yet she told me I didn’t care about the trip or her which hurt her feelings. Which was a lie, I did care, I was just in a bad place. Anyways, back to the more recent past. last year I didn’t reply to one of their messages one day and they likewise never messaged back.

Now I’ve found out their grandfather has passed away and I am truly upset by the news, and people I know keep bringing up the loss and asking if I’ve spoken to my ex friend. I feel so guilty because I haven’t. I wouldn’t know what to say. Or if I should even say anything. I don’t want people to think I’m cold and callous because I’ve lost contact with them. I just fear I’m seen as a villain because of our relationship fizzling out; I’m sure people look as me and her and then think I’m a truly awful person.

I know in hindsight she often gaslighted me and was very prickly to be around, but I feel like I should have been the bigger person and stuck by her. But I didn’t. I chose me. Though I feel guilty now! Agh, wish these guilt vibes would go away :/

Hi anon,

It sounds like your friend was not good at communicating with you and didn't treat you very well. It's hard when a friendship ends, even if it had its ups and downs. It's okay to feel seemingly contradictory things about it. Sometimes we feel an obligation to people, even though we shouldn't.

Think about how you felt when you realized you two were no longer friends. Maybe this could help you realize that you are in a better place without her.

There is nothing wrong with not contacting her. You are under no obligation to contact her, even with her grandfather passing. If your motivation for contacting her is what other people will think, then I do not think you should do it. If you want to see how she is, you're allowed to do that, too.

It is not admirable to suffer. Being the bigger person doesn't mean sticking by someone who emotionally abuses you. It is a great decision to choose yourself.

It's okay to grieve the friendship and process your feelings about it. I think that will help lessen your guilt. But remember, you don't have to feel shame and guilt about this. You didn't do anything wrong.

- Mod Misa

[nakedmonkey]

My post was in response to all of your tags, I just didn't feel like copying all of them. The subsequent ones were even worse than the first, so funny you should use that as an argument in your favor?

#2 90% really? What a nice number. Where did you get your data?

#3 & 4 - oh, it's always been problematic. And this is an excuse to just brush it off now? I have no idea what point you were making here.

#5 & 6 It's important to talk about these things but then when people DO you invalidate their feelings, calling them all misogynists because you know for a fact that it's the only reason they would ever attack a content you yourself said is problematic. Because it's not an important discourse for you, so others must be full of shit, right?

#7 today's discourse never turned towards actors and at this point your tags are so gaslighting and generalizing it makes me embarrassed to read

#11 thank you? for chiming in to provide us with the correct way to critique a show. Good to know your way is the correct way.

I don't go to people's ask boxes on anon. This is literally the first time I did and that's saying something. Your tags weren't simple disagreement no matter how you want to frame it. You basically went and told all those people sharing how this show makes them feel to shut the hell up and take it and also that they're all misogynists. If you don't see that idk what to tell you.

Anyway I have no intention of responding again, and I wasn't going to this time either but your response just left me more puzzled than your original tags.

mmhmm mmhmm sure sure. Come off anon and/or stop following me :) It’s that easy. 

And for the record, I have not “dismissed” the show lol never said that. I still watch it and quite enjoy it! I can enjoy something while also being critical of things that are wrong with it. I can multitask like that ;) 

Not going to bother clearing anything up because you don’t seem very interested in having an actual discussion, that’s number 1, and number 2, I don’t feel the need to explain myself to strangers on the internet who attack me Anonymously. 

I have watched this show since day 1 and was at one point  a pretty active participant of the fandom. Since then, I’ve been very careful to only follow blogs that line up with the way I watch the show and it’s been SO much more enjoyable! I find that when I don’t engage with people whose opinions I find problematic or incorrect, I find more joy in things I love. 

I will say this though, I am allowed to voice my opinion however I want. Just like you do and everyone who doesn’t agree with me does. I decided not to add to that specific post because I thought it made some great points, points you seem to agree with yourself so IDK what all THIS is, so I decided to add some rambling tags. If you’re looking at my TAGS for something to disagree with then oof you’re in for a life of heartache on this site because most of people’s tag rambles are nonsensical jumbled thoughts, so good luck with that. I sure hope you do not feel the need to “respond” to this with another anonymous message because I will not be responding to it.

If any of my mutuals felt I was out of line with anything I said, I do apologize because we’re mutuals for a reason and I respect what you all think. 

Anyone else, please feel free to unfollow and have a great day! 

[rjalker]

There are a lot of ways you can describe Katra, but kind-hearted is not even remotely one of them. I love Catra. I would kill for her, but you guys need to stop... Pretending like she's been a good person this entire time when she wasn't.

Part of liking a character means that you aren't lying to yourself or others about how the character acts and what they do. Just because you like catcher doesn't mean you need to tell everybody that she is kind-hearted and has been a good person this entire time. Liking quatre doesn't give you the right to lie to other people and gaslight them about what she's like.

Katra is cruel and spiteful and jealous and possessive. We were shown that she's been like this her entire life, since she and Adora were kids. She's violent and she lashes out both physically and verbally when she doesn't get her way, and it's not okay for you to say that this is not true, it's not okay for you to say that she's kind-hearted and has been this entire time it's not okay for you to act like she's been a good person the entire time, when the entire point of her character was her becoming a worse and worse and worse and worse person.

She decided to destroy the entire universe just to spite Adora.

Catra was not a good person, and honestly with that so-called Redemption Arc she really isn't even a good person now.

You can like characters who are bad people, what you're not allowed to do is lie to other people and say that they are actually a good person. Catra from the beginning was cruel and spiteful and went out of her way to hurt a door anyway she could, be that emotionally, verbally, or physically.

She literally clawed up Adora's back just to hear her cry.

You're allowed to like Katra. You're allowed to love Catra. I know I do, but you do not get to fucking tell other people that what is Cannon didn't happen, you are not allowed to tell other people that Catra is actually a good person and has been since the beginning.

I feel like I have to fucking restate this every single freaking time I join a fandom. Just because you like a character doesn't mean they're a good person, it doesn't mean they've never done anything wrong, it doesn't mean you get to lie to people about what they have done, it doesn't mean you get to gaslight people about what did or did not happen in Canon.

I love Catra. Stop acting like she didn't do anything wrong, stop acting like she was a good person the entire time, stop fucking lying to people.

Stop telling people that they are deluding themselves by not liking Katra because of all of the Terrible Things she's done. Stop fucking acting like people are stupid for not forgiving Catra for literally being a genocidal fascist.

Catra in season 1 was a bad person. And then she just kept getting worse. That was the entire point of her entire character Arc, that she was bad to begin with and she kept getting fucking worse, stop acting like that didn't happen, stop acting like she didn't do anything wrong, stop acting like people who don't like her are idiots and misogynists.

I love Catra. And if I see one more person insisting that she never did anything wrong? I'm going to start mauling people.

If you think that Catra is a good person and has been for the entire course of the show and never did anything wrong? You don't like Catra. You like your own little concept of Catra that doesn't actually fucking exist. And that would be fine, if you weren't insisting that this version of yours is what actually happened in the show.

Stop fucking telling people that catch a was a good person the entire time and that she did nothing wrong, and that if people don't like her it means that they're stupid and diluted misogynists. Just shut up. All you have to do to like a character is like a character. It doesn't mean you fucking act like they've never done anything wrong, it doesn't mean you shove all of their misdeeds under the fucking rug, it doesn't mean you get to lie to people about what happened in the show.

I love Catra. And for 99% of the entire show, Catra was a horrible, abusive, violent person. She was literally a genocidal facist. And you do not get to fucking tell people otherwise. You do not get to lie to people. You do not get to fucking gaslight people. You do not get to fucking insult people who don't like quatre by telling them they're delusional and stupid for not seeing the Catra was kind-hearted from the beginning.