#your world runs on contractors and you don't even know it

[shikiii-skadi]

How the Twisted Wonderland characters look at you:

INCLUDES: riddle rosehearts, deuce spade, azul ashengrotto, floyd leech, kalim al asim, jamil viper, rook hunt, epel felmier, vil schoenheit, idia shroud, malleus draconia, silver, sebek zigvolt

WARNINGS: reader is described as shorter than floyd, reader wears mascara in rooks part

NAVIGATION: Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

❤️Riddle Rosehearts❤️

Like you are the most beautiful rose in the garden - According to the rules, each rose at the unbirthday party had to be perfect. But even your imperfect sides made you beautiful. But that had to be against the rules, right?

❤️Deuce Spade❤️

Like he wants to make you proud of him - Deuce had made many mistakes during his delinquent days but he is more than determined to change and become an honor student. Every time you support him or help him archive his goal, he feels the overwhelming urge to make you proud of him. Which is why he puts even more effort into everything (which may or may not end badly).

💙Azul Ashengrotto💙

Like you are an easy target for his schemes - You were just a helpless and magicless human from another world. Who would have been better to manipulate in a contract, that was clearly more beneficial to the contractor than the client, than someone like you? But you weren't as naive as Azul thought you are and were able to somehow wiggle yourself out of every attempt of his to either make you sign a contract with him or be otherwise in debt to him. Seems like you are quite intelligent. He should definitely keep an eye on you. Of course, this has nothing to do with personal reasons.

💙Floyd Leech💙

Like you are a squeezable little shrimp - You were just so defenseless and small compared to Floyd, that he couldn't help but squeeze you incredibly tight every time he saw you. I mean, he has that urge with everyone he sees, but with you, it was extra strong. And you could do nothing but accept it if you didn't want to risk becoming the cause of one of his scary mood swings.

🧡Kalim Al-Asim🧡

Like you are a ray of sunshine - Whenever Kalim saw you, he was beaming with joy. You were just so much fun to be around. His everlasting cheerfulness was through the roof when you were around. Kalim has definitely impulsively purchased things for your entertainment, like a jet ski, so he can witness your laughs and smiles more often. (Jamil is crying in a corner)

🧡Jamil Viper🧡

Like he has his only rest when you are near - As vice houswarden of Scarabia and Kalim's attendant, Jamil rarely has even five minutes to relax. No, scratch that, he never actually had time off. But when you are there, he can finally get a well-deserved break. Scarabia could be on fire or Kalim could fall off his flying carpet in those few minutes with you, Jamil doesn't care. He will deal with it afterward.

💜Vil Schoenheit💜

Like he is the only one, who can make you reach your full potential - Vil could clearly see the beauty you possessed, even if it was diminished by your miserable living conditions and the little money Crowley gave you for clothes and beauty products. But fear not, that is where Vil steps in. He was sure that he was the only one capable of leading you to your utmost beauty.

💜Epel Felmier💜

Like you are his damsel in distress - I mean, yeah, sure realistically Epel knows that you don't need him to save you and that you aren't really a helpless damsel, but it makes him feel manly when you ask him to open a jar for you or get something from a higher shelf.

💜Rook Hunt💜

Like you are the embodiment of beauty - Rook enjoys to watch you in every situation of your life. You just come home having to run the entire way from the school building to Ramshackle Dorm with Grim in tow through the pouring rain, your clothes are completely soaked, your hair looks like a wet dog, and your mascara is running down your cheeks. Rook has never seen anything more beautiful.

💙Idia Shroud💙

Like you are a cute kitty - Idia is a cat lover. And he can't help thinking that you're just as cute as the fluffy feline creatures he loves so much. Not that he would ever say that out loud. The thought alone was enough to make his hair turn red. And a plus is that you don't run away when he approaches you.

💚Malleus Draconia💚

Like you are his only friend - Malleus was very lonely all his life until you ended up in Twisted Wonderland and made his favorite ruin your home. You were the only person who ever thought of inviting him, who didn't run away in fear or put him on a pedestal. Instead, you just treated him like a friend. And Malleus was sure to treasure that for all eternity.

💚Silver💚

Like you are his fairytale princess/prince - Among all the eccentric characters at Night Raven College, Silver was almost unnoticeable. Not that he was particularly bothered by that. But you always managed to make him feel special, even if he was just a mere knight (that's what Silver says at least). And when you jokingly tell him that he was like your knight in shining armor, that must mean that you are his princess/prince then, right?

💚Sebek Zigvolt💚

Like you aren't that bad for a human - Sebek wanted nothing to do with you. You weren't worth his attention because you were just a mere human. In addition, you have greatly upset him by having the audacity to call his great liege by a silly little nickname. Imagine how irritated Sebek is when he realizes that he thinks your company is actually quite nice. Maybe you're not that bad for a human. Not that he actually likes you, of course! No, he is definitely not blushing!

[twice-inamillion]

Playing In The Future Home

Fluff and Smut

1.4 K words

(Jihyo and OC making new memories)

"I can't wait to see where we are going to build our future house," Jihyo said as she looked outside the window. The two of you are on your way to visit the plot of land that you showed her before through FaceTime. 

"Minji gave me the keys to the gate so we can park the car inside and walk around." Jihyo puts up her hands closer, "Look, my hand is shaking from how excited I am right now." 

"Don't be nervous. I know you are going to like it. We are almost there; just a couple more minutes."

You exit the highway and immediately make a left turn. Then drive down the windy road up a small hill and turn right into a private road. Only two hundred feet into a private road filled with trees and bushes, you are met with a large metal gate, "I'm going to open the gate; I'll be right back." Once the gate is open, you drive inside and close the gate around before driving again. The dirty road eventually leads you to a grass-filled field, "we're here." 

The two of you get out of the car; Jihyo walks around for a bit as you get your backpack and binder. "What do you think?"

"It's amazing, and it's big. I love the trees and bushes that surround the entrance." 

"Yes, Minji said that the previous owner fenced the entire estate so their animals wouldn't get out. Makes it easier for us because it ensures our privacy."

 You take out your binder and show Jihyo some sketches that you and Minji worked on for the past two days. "Look, here are some examples of the potential layout," as you point at the 2D view of the whole estate. "This right here is the layout of the entrance layout just came in front, and we are standing here," as you point at the spot you are standing in. "The lot is huge, and it does have a slight hill towards the back and trees throughout the lot. What Minji and I thought was to keep the entrance untouched, just grass and the house in the middle. Because the area has so much space, we have the option of a one-story house that has spread out or a two-story house. We can also have detached buildings like a music room and multiple guest houses away from the main house but still close. We can even have a large pool with a building on its own, but we would need to childproof it. We have a lot of options to make this place perfect. Towards the back of the lot are multiple trees and a small stream that runs across the end of the property." 

The both of you walk around, and Jihyo tries to visualize the house with the binder in her hands. "I like it, and I think the members will be happy. When do you think we can buy it and start building?"

"I talked to Minji about it, and she said that the owner has wanted to sell the property for a while since all his family has moved to the city abroad and has no more use for it. Regarding the building, we can talk to a few contractors and get the permits ready after we buy the property. Shouldn't be too long, but it all depends on the layout of the house."

"The faster, the better; I can just see the babies running around and having fun with each other. I want Jisoo to have a memorable childhood and grow up safe without the eyes of the public on her and the rest."

"She will; just imagine her playing with the twins on a swing or going down the slide. It's going to be perfect." You hold her hand and start to walk, "let me show you the best part." The both of you walk up toward the end of the property, where you see a hill surrounded by numerous trees. There is a special tree that is much older than the rest, and as you both get closer, Jihyo is amazed by its size, "Wow, the tree is huge." 

"The tree isn't the only thing; turn around." Jihyo turns to see a fantastic view of the landscape. Her future is right before her, and the rest of the world is in the background. "Omg, the view is wonderful. Thank you, oppa," hugging you. 

"Everything here is for us, our future. You deserve the whole world, and I will try my best to give you that." Jihyo tears up from happiness, and the both of you share a passionate kiss. 

"Thank you." 

After settling down, you both sit on the blanket and snacks you brought and enjoy a bottle of wine. Jihyo, a good drinker, enjoys the wine more than you and, little by little, gets tipsy. "Oppa, want to mess around a little bit? We're alone, so we can have a little fun," giving you a sexy wink.

"For you, I'm able to go all the way." 

She pushes you down, gets on top of you, and starts to unbutton your shirt. "Don't do anything; I'll take care of everything and just enjoy." With your chest exposed, she kisses every inch of you, "oppa, you have a manly chest; I love it." 

You give a soft moan as she kisses your neck, "Jihyo, it hurts." 

Jihyo looks down and sees the large bulge in your pants, "Oh wow, hard already?"

"It's just that you're too sexy, I can't help it."

She undoes your pants and fishes out your cock. "Don't worry, little fellow; you'll get your turn soon enough." Once she's done with your neck, she stands up and pulls down her leggings and panties. Jihyo sits on your shaft, causing you to moan, "Ahhh, you're bending my cock." 

"Hmmm, I can feel your cock throbbing, but it's not time yet," as she begins to grind on you. The feeling of her lips hugging your cock throws you over the edge, and Jihyo knows it. "How do you like that? You like it when I grind my pussy on your cock?"

"Jihyo, please don't tease; let me put in it." 

"Just a bit longer," as she increases the pace. She puts more of her weight on your cock, causing you to moan in pain. "Fuck, I can feel your hot cock throbbing. You're such a bad boy, but good job on holding on. Here is your reward." 

Jihyo grabs your cock and lifts herself, aligning it to her entrance. You watch as the head of your cock spreads her lips apart, causing you to gasp, "Fuck, you're so tight." She drops her whole weight, and her cunt swallows you whole, "Ahh… fuck, you're cumming already?"

You grab her waist and hold her tight, "take all of my cum!" She places her hands on your chest and digs her nails as she begins to ride you as you cum inside her. "Let it all out; I'll milk you of all you're worth." 

You see her lustful eyes, the eyes of someone who's found her prey. She rides you as you cum, her tits swaying from side to side, "come on baby, do you like how I ride your big cock? Your cock that's filling me up with baby batter. Stay hard for me, okay." 

Jihyo, with her head on your chest, can hear your heavy breathing, she knows that she has you in her hands. "You think you can go for another round?"

“Ye…yeah… I… I can."

She sits back up, ties her hair in a ponytail, looks you in the eyes, and begins to ride you once more. You can help you move your gaze, but she says, "Don't, look at me. You're mine." 

All you hear now is the noise of flesh grinding against each other, Jihyo's tight walls choking your cock. 

She rides you for about five minutes until you cum once, filling her womb with baby batter. "Yeah… just like that. Fill me up with your cum” as she tightens up her cunt. Once she's done milking you for the second, she lifts herself up and lays beside you. 

Haven gotten a happy ending you look at her erect nipple and attach yourself you it. "Aww, my poor baby, there, there. Suck on mommy's tits until you're full, okay" as she caresses your head. You fall asleep attached to her breast as Jihyo hugs you tight in her arms. 

[bbarnesbby]

Through the back door

Pervy!contractor!Joel Miller x fem!reader

(photos from pinterest, and not an accurate representation of how the reader is perceived in their appearance)

Summary: A fresh faced personal assistant catches Joel’s eye whilst working on his current job, and who can blame him for going after what he wants? Even if it takes some convincing…

Words: 2k

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, dark!Joel Miller, Joel is VERY crude and pervy here, he's also very forward, creepy men, catcalling, groping, coercion, lots of sexual innuendos, but no actual smut, my lil brain knows nothing about construction sites or contractors and it shows<3, my dyslexia lol

!! I do not consent to or accept any instance in which my works are copied, edited, reposted or translated on tumblr or any other website. !!

!! Please also note that this is fan fiction and I would never tolerate the themes in this being repeated in the real world. I am not responsible for what you consume on this website, all warnings are given and if you don't feel comfortable with them then your opinion is valid and understandable, but not invitation to hate on or shame this fanfic !!

Thank you and please enjoy <33

The repetitive click of your heels on the dusty pavement below you seems to be the only thing you can hear over your laboured breathing as you rush to get back to the office building, the place that could only affectionately be described as your own personal hell.

When you'd first gotten the job, the ambiguously labelled title you had been assigned did confuse you at first. However, now as you grip the holder for four coffees in one hand, and a bag carrying a series of different flavoured salads, sandwiches, and kinds of pasta in the other, you realise it was all to cover up what you'd really be.

A bottom-of-the-barrel personal assistant.

The job itself isn't one you would complain about, everyone has got to start somewhere after all, especially coming straight out of college. It's just the assholes you work for that make you long for an escape.

Young men with no degree, making them easily less qualified than you, having the audacity to make requests that must be completed in unrealistic time frames seem to be the bane of your existence. The fact they have the power to do so only down to the fact they have family working the important positions in other branches of the company.

That and the thing hanging between their legs.

Pushing your thoughts of distaste aside, you glance at your wristwatch as you round the last corner of your journey before the building is in sight. You notice you've got a good five minutes before you're eligible for a scolding from your boss and let out a sigh of relief.

But as you get closer to your destination, you notice construction tape seems to have materialised around the walkway to the office building in the fifteen minutes you were gone, men already drilling into the ground you need to walk over to get where you need to be.

As you hurry to the now construction site, you stand for a moment confused, huffing as you look around for anyone who could help you in your predicament.

Your eyes scan a group of men standing by the bed of a pickup truck, presumably talking about their job at hand. You walk along the makeshift fence made up of scuffed traffic cones and more construction tape until you're near enough parallel to the truck, not crossing the tape out of concern you may disrupt whatever's going on.

"Excuse me?" Voice loud enough to be heard but still polite, you gain the attention of a couple of the men, their averted gazes prompting those who didn't initially hear you to look over too. A small but friendly smile pulls at your lips but soon falters when a few of them let out their renditions of low whistles and unsavoury comments towards you.

"You alright, pretty lady?" One of them smirks, dark, invasive eyes giving you a once over as he runs his hand over his dark brown, almost black, hair.

Was this building a magnet for sleazy male stereotypes or something?

"Um, I work here." You stumble over the statement slightly, the discomfort you feel under his penetrative stare affecting your speech as you weakly point at the building behind them.

"Yeah, no shit." The same man darkly chuckles along with a couple of the other workers, eyes raking your form, clad in a blouse and pencil skirt. But you feel you might as well be naked in front of them, stuck there like a deer in headlights as they continue to ogle your body. Before he can make any other comments, he's lightly pushed to the side as another man approaches.

"Shut up, Tommy..." His voice is deep and commanding but has a playful nature behind it, the two of them clearly well acquainted with one another.

He looks to be older than the men around him, broad frame imposing as he comes to where the tape separates you from him. Although, the way he carries himself suggests he's probably in a position where he could do whatever he wanted with the equipment on the site, but have no one to answer to for it.

"How can I help, sweetheart?" He sounds friendly enough but has that dirty, smug look on his face that tells you he's not any better than the men who'd previously been eyeing you like a piece of meat.

Despite the sickly feeling that swirls in the pit of your stomach when looking at him, you realise he's probably your best shot at getting you where you need to be.

"I need to get back in the building," your voice is timid as you try to avoid the burly man's gaze, opting to look back to where men are starting to pull up the concrete slabs that once made up your path back into your workplace. Though the pause after you've spoken prompts you to glance back up at him, catching him looking down the gap between your chest and slightly unbuttoned blouse, "I work here-"

"Yeah, you've said that." he cuts you off with a smirk, taking in your mortified expression before looking over the construction site with a huff. "Well my boys are pretty deep in their work now, and I can't have ya walking through here when we've got equipment running," he gives you another once over, "don't want a pretty girl like you getting hurt, do we?"

He's smiling again, but you see straight through it and tense at the realisation these men will be working here for god knows how long.

"What should I do then?" You ask with furrowed brows, readjusting your hold on the coffees that now uncomfortably weigh down your hand.

"I mean I could carry ya over," he laughs as though it's a joke, but first impressions tell you he'd jump at the opportunity to get his filthy hands on you -- no matter the circumstance, "how bout I take you in the backdoor?"

The way he worded the innuendo didn't fly over your head the way you wish it did, and the combination of his comment and the way he's now running his pink tongue over his bottom lip making you feel sick in multiple ways.

You reluctantly nod, just wanting to get back to work and away from this man. The obnoxious nepo babies that unfairly dominated your field of work suddenly felt like prince charmings in comparison to the man now stepping over the flimsy barrier that once separated you. But as he came that small distance closer, you couldn't help but feel some attraction to his broad frame and tan skin. And those arms...

His slight chuckle pulls you out of your thoughts, wide eyes snapping up to meet his leering expression as prickling heat floods your face in embarrassment.

"C'mon, I'm Joel by the way," he tilts his head, gesturing for you to walk in front of him. It's a request you realise most likely has ulterior motives, but you do so anyway after muttering your name in return.

Rounding the corner, you falter for a moment as the cluttered alley comes into view. Your gut instinct is screaming at you to tell Joel that he can fuck right off back to wherever he came from, but you figure that would cause more commotion than the slim possibility he'd try anything in broad daylight.

But as you carry on down the alley and squeeze past a particularly cluttered area of multiple dumpsters and bins, you become more uncomfortable as he spews another innuendo about how 'it's real tight, huh?'

His irksome behaviour soon becomes less of an annoyance and more of a concern though.

Once you're past the worst of the clutter you soon realise that it wasn't just an obstacle, but also serves as a wall -- blocking any further view for anyone passing by.

Turning around, you merely stand there as Joel comes closer. His daunting frame becomes more intimidating in the dim light of the narrowing lane you now find yourself trapped in, helpless.

"Doors just there," he mutters while pointing to the slightly beaten-up side door to the left of you, a twisted attempt at making you believe you still have any control over this situation.

Not trusting your voice, you simply nod at him with your eyes still locked. You'd prefer him to leave before you turn your back to him, but when he makes no move to do so, you quickly rush to the door in the hopes you may be faster than him.

But faster you are not.

First, you feel the heat radiating off of him, and then you feel the hard chest, the wandering hands, the grinding hips. As he invades your space and presses himself against your back, you try to squirm away, but only end up pinning yourself between the door and his imposing body.

"Where you tryna go, sweetheart?" His breath is hot against your neck, sending shivers down your spine and to places that make your body hot with shame. "You really wanna go back in there? Where those people are just gonna treat you like shit?"

His hips continue to grind into your ass, becoming more calculated rather than ravenous, as though his words and body are working as one to persuade you.

"I know those guys, they'll chew you up and spit you out." His words become harsh and his rough hands harsher, beginning to untuck your blouse from your pencil skirt, reaching up until his fingers are splayed across your stomach. The skin-on-skin contact is undeniably thrilling, as he now caresses it with finesse.

"So fuckin' soft," he mutters into your hair, inhaling before releasing a rumbling groan, "I'd treat you like the sweetest thing, baby."

You grimace at his words, far too much commitment behind them, leaving you spiralling into another panicked frenzy. You squirm again, this time having more success as you're able to turn to face him, although not fully able to escape his unrelenting hold yet. Facing him, you see how dark his eyes have become, set on you like a predator eyeing its prey.

His hair is slightly tousled, the way he'd previously been ravaging your body having that effect. You realise there's no way you can persuade him to stop his pursuit of you, so you decide to cave, at least you hope he thinks so.

"Let's not do this here." You say it quietly so as to not come off too demanding, peering up at him through your lashes in a way that you hope looks innocent enough for him to believe it. "Wouldn't you wanna do this someplace comfier," your voice switches from scared to sultry, “hm?”

He quirks a brow at this, slowing his assault on your body to a stop, but not yet taking his hands off of you, “you wanna do this somewhere else, sweetheart?”

The pet name still irks you, but provides some ease in telling you your comment hasn’t pissed him off at all. Trying to run along with your manipulative escape, you nod up at him, taking your bottom lip between your teeth and pushing your own crotch closer to his. You tell yourself it’s all for the bigger picture, but you can’t ignore the way your body has come more accustomed to his touch in such a short period of time.

"Mhm,” you’re nodding again, placing a hand on his firm chest, and slowly, teasingly, sliding it lower, “do this where you can take real good care of me… Show me what I'm missing?"

There's a pause, his expression unreadable as he continues to penetrate your façade with his stare. His lack of response has you rethinking your words, brows twitching as more sick scenarios of what could ensue consume your thoughts. But then a dark chuckle fills the tense silence, Joel shaking his head as he smirks down at you. Stepping back, he tucks his hands into his pockets and gives you one last once over before nodding his head and making his way back down the alley.

"I'll keep an eye out," are his last words before he disappears past the trash and clutter, out of sight.

But maybe not quite out of mind...

-----

First fic done! All likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated and I am open to requests on future fic ideas you may have<33

[isaacsapphire]

Heat exhaustion is no joke, and a driver with heat exhaustion is a hazard to anyone in the vicinity. The inherent lack of reliable bathroom access for delivery drivers doesn't help with staying hydrated either.

The difficulty in getting large companies to respond to labor action due to shell games with subcontractors is something that ultimately has to be addressed if any modern unions are to get anywhere.

Frequently large companies are absolutely fucking over the subcontractor companies themselves too, and those subcontractor companies are often expected to be the ones getting their hands dirty and facing legal censure for eg. illegal labor practices or hiring people who aren't legal to work but also are being forced to cut corners by the larger company very intentionally.

They want air-conditioning in the vans so they don't die from heat stroke.

I haven't found anything saying the drivers want people to boycott Amazon, btw.

[vampsquerade]

Hi! hope you have a good day! Can you do a poly "Ghost x male reader x Soap" (if you comfortable writing poly relationship) with slow burn, angst and fluff at the end?

Where Ghost and Soap already in a relationship until the reader came into their team The two male thought the reader wasn't talkative around people but few weeks later, things change at first Ghost seems interesting in the male skill using gun and how fast he can run and Soap like the male sense of humour.

Both of them thought it only a friendship type of things. Until the male save Ghost from the enemy on the battlefield and him laughing at Soap jokes. That when the two males known what happen to them, they weren't sure if M/n would comfortable in a relationship with them, so they start doing small things for him like making coffee or helping training,..

And M/n notice it, he even started to fall for the both of them. But he keep denying the things they did for him because he thought that what friend do. and M/n don't think he is ready for a new relationship, he wasn't sure he is good enough for them (the male got trauma from the previous relationships) (more angst please, I would like to suffer for a little bit)

(・∀・)

After a while, the three of them got into a mission together, everything went good until the male got shot. He thought he going to be de@d soon (only to find out that he only got shot at his leg) so M/n confessed how he feel about the two of them which got him embarrassed when Ghost mention it when they got back to the base.

(andddd I don't know what to do with the ending cause I'm ran out of idea. I would want to see how the treated each other when got into a relationship. Sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language)

hello anon! thanks so much for your request, i’m sorry for having taken so long to get to it because i will be honest, i rewrote this 29 fucking times…anyway, thank you for being as descriptive as possible because that really helped me out. and it’s okay! if you would like, feel free to leave a request in your native language so it’s more comfortable for you, i can translate it easily!

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Ghost x Male!Reader x Soap: One’s Company, and Two’s a Crowd

Trigger Warnings: angst wth a happy ending, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, gunshot wounds, past abusive relationships, relationship trauma, accidental confessions, reference of domestic violence

Simon and Johnny had, despite their slight differences, found themselves in a relationship together. Behind closed doors, the relationship was as domestic as it could get with an angsty man who’s had the worst of the worst happen in his life and a golden retriever boyfriend whose purpose for his traumatized lover was to show him there is some good in this world. Though his biological family is gone, Simon’s found his place in the Task Force and SpecGru; and a new member was just about to join the family. You walked into the room where Simon and Johnny were sitting, and his eyes grew wide when he saw you do a double take once you saw them. “Hey—who the fuck are you? How the fuck’d you get in?” he asks, quickly standing up.

Johnny’s quick to do the same, grabbing Simon’s hand tightly to hold him back. “Easy, Simon—let’s give him a chance to explain himself,” he says. His ocean blue eyes are soft as he looks at you, meanwhile Simon’s dark brown eyes are glaring into you so hard you feel like you’ll suddenly feel the blade of an invisible knife ghost against your neck before digging into you. “I’m new around here, sorry. The main contractor was telling me to try and introduce myself to anyone who’s around,” you explain. Your voice is so soft and so gentle, despite your military build. You’ve even got your arms raised in the air as a form of surrender. Simon, still wary of you, walks over to you and begins to frisk you for weapons. Satisfied that he doesn’t find anything, Simon lets you lower your arms before walking back to Johnny.

“You should probably learn how to fucking knock,” he scolds, glaring at you hard still. “He doesn’t need to knock Bonnie, this is the common room,” Johnny says before shaking his head slightly. “Sorry about that—what’s yer name? I’m Johnny and this here is Ghost,” he asks in a more kind manner. “Ah, cool. Nice to meet you two, please call me Y/N whenever we’re not on a mission or anything,” you say, giving the two a more peaceful and gentle smile. “Y/N…very nice name, I’ll say. Glad to have you on our side, too. I’m sure all of us will make some real good memories now that you’re here,” Johnny says. You can’t help but smile, nodding your head a bit, “Can’t wait to see what the future holds for us—this is going to be really exciting. I’ll be out of your hair now, see you around,” you say.

The duo then watches you give them a little wave once you step back out of the common room. It makes Simon sigh deeply, looking back down at Johnny. “M’sorry, love. I didn’t mean to snap on the kid like that…you know how I am…” he apologizes. It makes Johnny laugh, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek as he leads him back to the couch. “It’s okay, you’ll eventually warm up to him…I hope,” he says, wrapping his arms back around Simon. He does the same, holding onto Johnny once more and closing his eyes. “He seems…a bit promising, however. I’ll try my best to warm up to him…” Simon mumbles, nuzzling into Johnny’s chest. “Go at your own pace, alright?” Johnny reassures. Simon nods, sighing again as he closes his eyes. His lover’s embrace always seems to calm him for the better.

Time seems to fly, the more you spend time on base and out on missions, the more Simon and Johnny seem to notice you’re completely reserved to everyone else. The only time you ever speak is on missions, and even then, it’s only when you need to make call outs or call in a UAV. The two of them are impressed however, your ability to run and gun down enemies is something that they haven’t seen in quite some time. The way you carry yourself is with so much pride and a determination to do your job the best you could now that you’re in the big leagues, met only by the silence of someone who actively acknowledges just how good they are. It’s not arrogant or anything, as you tend to give everyone a thumbs up once you’re asked how you’re feeling before, during, and after a mission.

Outside the field, you’re even more isolated and really only hang around Johnny and Simon whenever they invite you to. You laugh at Johnny’s dumb jokes, picking up on some of his Scots and occasionally using it whenever the time is right. Johnny starts to feel drawn to you, and with your expertise in handling weaponry and staying cool in the field draws Simon closer to you too. It’s shocking, but it’s what draws the romantic duo closer to wanting to know you better. Johnny comes up with the idea to make you more comfortable, following Simon’s suggestion to get you closer to the two of them. It’s a big risk, he says, but Simon’s more than willing to make that risk for you.

You warm up to them both, talking more and more only when you’re with them. The prospect of potentially adding you to their relationship makes Johnny and Simon a bit excited. They begin to treat you nicely, waking you up whenever you’ve slept long enough, giving you coffee or tea if it’s too early in the morning, and treating you with a kindness you haven’t really felt in a long time. It almost feels…a little domestic. It’s a form of intimacy you didn’t even have in your last relationship, and in turn it makes you a bit wary. Still wanting to be friends with them, you just return the gestures whenever you can. Acts of service seems to be Johnny’s love language, and quality time seems to be Simon’s.

For you, it’s gift giving. You give them little trinkets and stuff you find—out in the field and in the cities you all travel to���showing them that you’re their friend and want them to know you appreciate them. It scares you, after a few months of doing this, as you eventually find yourself catching feelings for the both of them. It felt wrong, having such strong emotions for two men at the same time. It almost reminds you of your past relationship, except you were forced to share yourself with two different people who ended up forgetting you in the end. They’d exclude you and eventually started hurting you physically whenever you protested the relationship.

So once you wake up from a nightmare recounting that verg relationship while sleeping on the couch of the common room, Johnny and Simon are immediately alerted by this as they sit and talk seated at a table in the corner of the room. They see the cold sweat dripping off your forehead, your chest heaving slightly as you try to regain your breath and rush over. “Are you doing alright? What’s the matter?” Johnny asks, looking at you. “G-Get away…please…” you plead softly, shocking the duo slightly. “Bonnie, come on…we just want to help you…” Johnny says, reaching out for you. You crawl further back into the couch, as if scrambling to get away from them.

Simon, despite wearing his usual skull balaclava, is clearly distressed by your sudden behavior. “Do you…feel scared because of us…” he asks softly, trying to show his concern for you. Not a word comes out, however, a gentle nod of the head is the only answer given. “Do you feel comfortable enough to talk about it? We just want to understand…” Johnny says. You just remain silent, not even realizing that your body’s begun to tremble. “Please, let us understand…help us understand…” he continues to urge you. Feeling overwhelmed, you just push them away and quickly storm out of the common room.

The duo doesn’t move or go after you, opting to give you the space you clearly need right now. Weeks go by, and you’re sent back on another mission with Johnny and Simon. They could tell you’re still very much not willing to talk to them. The distance aches their hearts, as all they want to do is understand what’s hurting you. They don’t even realize that they’re the reason; you’d swiftly fallen in love with the two men, and you really don’t want to have a repeat of your previous relationship the more you fall. It hurt, and you didn’t want to see them hurt from it either. It’s distracting, especially on such an important mission like this. Suddenly, you can faintly hear your callsign being yelled.

“Liquid…”

“Liquid!”

“Liquid! Get the fuck down!”

You snap out of your thoughts once the disembodied voice yells at you, managing to hear a bullet whizz past your ear. Immediately you drop to the floor, clutching your TAQ-56 tightly in your hands. Not realizing the enemy’s become fully aware of your presence long before you started zoning out, the realization of three of you being pinned down where you were positioned really rang in your ears. Maybe it was just the bullet that whizzed past, or the thundering gunfire that surrounded you making your ears ring. Whatever it was, you forced yourself to wait for the enemies to call out to their own teammates when reloading to return fire.

The shootout lasts for a while and as a last ditch effort against the remaining 4 scattered enemies, one of them hurls an active frag grenade towards Simon. “Ghost, move!” you exclaim. Simon looks down and quickly moves back, firing at an enemy that appeared from the left of a different building. Running from your cover, fire is immediately opened on you as you grip the grenade and hurl it back to the one that threw it. A bullet pierces through you in an unknown area, pain immediately surging in your body as you fall to the floor. The grenade explodes on the enemy that tossed it, as well as his friend that happened to be unlucky enough to move forward. “Y/N! Streamin’ bloody Jesus!”

“I-I can’t go on anymore! Just know—I really love you guys!” you exclaim, not even paying attention where you had been shot at. Johnny comes out of his cover and fires at the remaining enemy before joining Simon at your side. Simon’s already removed your body armor and was in the middle of checking where the bullet hit you, and he seemed to have frozen in place at your confession. Johnny turns his attention to your leg before looking up at your face, “You uh…you’ll live, Liquid…you got shot in the meatier part of your calf,” he says a bit awkwardly. Instantaneously upon hearing you weren’t even dying, your heart dropped even further into the seemingly bottomless pit.

You just accidentally confessed.

The once talkative trio was now completely silent, being treated by medics and being moved to get further care for your gunshot wound. Simon and Johnny patiently wait to be allowed to see you and once they do, the tension in the room is just as heavy as it was back when you first joined the whole operation. “Y/N…we need to talk about what you said earlier,” Johnny urges gently. A deep sigh escapes you as you sit there in the infirmary cot. You’ve begun to play with the stitching to your jeans, huffing softly. “It was the heat of the moment…” you make an excuse for yourself, blaming it on the situation.

Simon raises his brow after, “You do know that that makes it all the more true. This isn’t something you can easily avoid,” he says, reminding you of the other side of the coin. Feeling defeated about this situation, your shoulders slump as you reluctantly look up at the couple. “Okay, fine—I’ve…I’ve had feelings for you two for quite some time but…ah…” You say, trailing off as different points come through your mind. Deciding to start on one, the look in your eyes becomes somber as the duo watches and patiently waits to hear what you have to say. “Can I first explain why I started pushing you guys away…?” you ask, hoping they’ll provide you a safe space to speak.

“‘Course ya can…go in and tell us, lad…we’re listening…” Johnny reassured you. Simon nods silently, waiting to understand why you began to act so distant in the first place. “Well…when my partner and I were dating, they decided to add another person to the mix…except, it was a blatant slap to the face,” you begin, feeling a bit overwhelmed as the story of your past relationship comes to light. Johnny and Simon both reach for your hands, gently holding onto and caressing them. They give you a moment to recollect yourself, clearly treating you much better than you had been treated. “It was only like that because it was basically a way for my partner to distance themselves and cheat on me.”

The last sentence makes Simon furious, and he squeezes at your hand a little tighter. You couldn’t help but keep going, “The two of them had degraded me and…sometimes they hit me…whenever I asked them to join or made a protest to the whole thing.” Johnny’s eyes, usually soft, looked immediately protective, “Oh bonnie…you didn’t deserve to be treated like rubbish like that. Is the ended relationship why you ended up joining the military, and eventually us?” he asks while reassuring you. A silent nod is your only response, as well as the quivers of pain and fear your body gives.

“I pushed myself away to keep myself from hurting like that again…from personal experience, I’ve become so afraid…” you say. Your own hands then hold onto Simon’s and Johnny’s a bit tighter, and they do the same. “We wouldn’t let that happen at all. Johnny and I here, well—the two of us have fallen in love with you at the same time. It’s completely understandable if you want to join or not,” Simon confesses, rubbing at the back of his still balaclava-covered head. “Promise we won’t ignore how you’re feeling…a relationship as big as ours relies heavily on trust so…” Johnny says, looking at Simon before you.

“Will you trust us?”

The question comes out of their mouths perfectly in sync, showing that giving you the move you’ve always deserved is something they both agreed on doing. A heavy and apprehensive silence filled the room, the 50/50 chance of you agreeing or not waiting to be flipped by a singular figurative scenario. “I’ll trust you…” eventually came out of your lips and confirmed your answer. Not even realizing they had been holding their breaths, Simon and Johnny sigh in relief. “Thank fucking God…” Simon says, putting a hand in his chest. Johnny chuckles as he leans forward and kisses your cheek.

“Best choice, Y/N…you’re going to be so loved…you’ve even got Simon all exasperated about this,” Johnny says, slightly joking with you. Simon grumbles, rolling his eyes as lifts his balaclava up before he leans forward and kisses your other cheek. “That’ll do…” he says, ruffling your sleeve a bit. “Thank you—I’m really hoping this could work out for us…” you mumble softly, kissing both Simon and Johnny’s cheeks. This was the staff of a new beginning, and the first step from healing what you’d experienced before. So much love was on its way to you, and you were just so happy.

[dragonnarrative-writes]

super curious about your wip ‘honeybee’ if no one’s asked already? 👀

For the WIP Ask Game!

You know how I lament, constantly, that I can't just write smut? That there's always gotta be a long setup? Well Honeybee is/was a story where I tried to cut that down as much as possible by doing a brief intro and then jumping into smut. I was unsuccessful, but mostly because I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to write. I don't know if I'll ever come back to this concept, but please enjoy the little bit I have.

CW: Discussions of sex, established GhostSoap, established PriceGaz, barracks bunny oc, no smut!

The 141 on leave and a couple of drinks in is probably Soap’s favorite version of the team. The captain always buys the first two rounds before settling down with two fingers of whiskey for the rest of the night, grinning around his cigar. Gaz likes to get fancy beers and ciders, keeps track of what he likes on an app, but three drinks in, he’s just a happy guy, leaning in being generally tactile. Even Ghost lets loose a little bit, hood up but face unmasked as he sips at his beer, then straight bourbon. But tonight, his third drink is a cocktail, of all things.

“Since when do you drink cocktails, LT,” Gaz asks before Soap can. He’s grinning, gives a Ghost a slap on the arm that he normally wouldn’t dare.

“I’m a man of many tastes,” Ghost says before sipping his blackberry bourbon smash with the tiniest of straws. “But I like blackberries. Reminds me of a girl.”

Soap can’t stop himself from making a questioning noise, “You got a girl in Manchester, then?”

Ghost snorts, “If I had this girl in Manchester, you think I’d be here with you fuckers? Nah, this was years ago.”

Soap gulps his drink to drown the reflexive hurt he feels at the declaration. What he and Ghost have is new-ish, but it’s certainly not exclusive. What happens on base and what happen on leave are two different worlds. He must not be as subtle as he thinks he is, though, because Ghost sways in to knock shoulders with him and squeezes his knee.

“Well go on, tell us about her,” Gaz pushes.

Ghost thinks about it for a moment before speaking. “American, contractor. Don’t really remember what we was workin’ on, but she showed up on base one day to assist in medical. Fit as fuck. Brown skin, dark eyes, curves like you wouldn’t believe. Great tits. Could pick her up by the waist easy, but I would’ve needed an extra pair of hands for her arse. Called her Honeybee.”

“Wait,” Price cuts in, pointing at Ghost around his cigar, “Honeybee with the tattoo?”

Ghost smirks, “Oh, so you’ve met her.”

Price huffs a laugh and wipes a hand down his face, “Mary and Joseph, that woman…”

Soap grins, jealousy completely washed away. He’d leave Ghost on base for a weekend with a woman that makes Price sound like that. “A barrack’s bunny?”

Price rubs his face, “I wouldn’t call her that. More like a hurricane.”

Ghost laughs and takes an actual sip of his drink. “Think that was the first time I woke up sore two days in a row from sex. Slowest run time of my life the next morning.”

“Two man job,” Price said around his cigar, “at least.”

Soap knows the stars in Gaz’s eyes are mirrored in his own. He’s never heard the captain talk about his exploits, let alone Ghost. Soldiers brag, of course, he’s done his share of big talk to impress his squad. But this is Price and Simon, cream of the crop, best of the best and the backbones of the 141.

“Sounds like it was,” Ghost snickered. “Saw her every other night for two weeks, pretty sure she was just trading between our rooms the whole job.”

Gaz makes a skeptical sound, “Two weeks with the both of you didn’t wear her out?”

“Oi, yeah,” Soap says. “Yuptae that she needs two tadgers?”

“Some day,” Ghost says, putting a gentle hand on Soap’s shoulder. “I’m going to send you to school to learn English.”

“Fuck off,” Soap laughs.

“He asked why she’d need both of you,” Gaz says gamely. “And I know how Price fucks, and I’ve heard Ghost fuck, so it’s a damn good question.”

“Ghost has a type,” Price says with a chuckle. “Energy for days. Could barely slow her down. But she was a lot of fun.”

“More fun that me?” Gaz asks, face stricken and voice full of mischief.

“No one’s more fun than you, sweet boy,” Price assures him.

“Gross,” Soap declares. “Tell me more about Honeybee.”

[sourcreammachine]

REFORM PARTY "MANIFESTO" 2024 SUMMARY

they say it ain't a manifesto even though it is. they're tryna pretend they're not politicians even though they are. their reasoning is that they know they won't be the next government, so this is what they'd push for as opposition members - just like in the manifestos of the greens, SNP etc. but anyway, this "contract" of theirs is scant and they're running a vibes-based campaign. you don't need to see any actual policies, no no no. you already know if they're for you or not. oh, and if you think they're for you - just like all far right parties, they ain't: they're for capital, they're for vested interests, they're for cruelty. they're for the classic quasi-accelerationist burnout cycle that'll weaken the base of society and the economy and ruin fucking everything. but hey, at least there won't be no immigrants. i'm so sorry if you see them as the future: they're taking you for a ride just as you've been used time and time again, because there is no clearly accessible political solution to improving your material conditions as current politics stand, i'm sorry - that is, within the paradigm you know - there're answers just outside the tunnel-vision you've been forced into. why not take a look sometime. who knows, you might find some hope.

i'm not shitting you, though. the manifesto is not long. go read it. see for yourself the draconian horror they advocate, and will push for these five years, and will endorse with the hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of Short Money coming their way after they get into parliament. this isn't a 2015 UKIP moment, a single-issue agenda that'll flame out. even if they fail in their 2029 campaign with no votes against the tories to count on, these ideas and their influence are here to stay for the medium-term now. even if we remove the rosethorn it'll keep bleeding and bleeding and bleeding

yeah, on account of the scantness, these policies are vague. they're much more like ideas rather than proposals. the general nonsense of them has been fact-checked time and time again so i won't bother. here's just a summary of their rambling ephemeral suggestions

💷ECONOMY

revoke benefits after four months, MANDATORY acceptance of the second job offer on pain of benefit revocation, make all eligibility capability assessments in-person, mandating medical assessments, to catastrophically reduce disability benefit entitlements

raise the personal allowance to §20k/a, cutting individual taxation by §1600/a. raise it to §25k for the married

raise the second band of income tax from about §50k to §70k cutting an ABHORRENT amount of tax from the upper-middle class, far far far far far more than the tax cuts on §20k-earners

leave the World Economic Forum, plummet corporation tax from its already international tax-haven low levels, abolish any business tax for "high-street based" small businesses to create a new class of fat cat burghers, VAT refund for businesses making under §150k/a profit no matter what it is they're flogging

revoke european trade agreements and collapse trade with the mainland

massive tax breaks for defence contractors

'frontload' the child benefit system, plunging it after the child turns four

pour money into giving tourists a full refund on VAT

surge the inheritance tax threshold to §2m BUT "allow the money to be donated to charity instead" (ie allowing massive loophole scams)

massive deregulation, including on the regulation of business and employment laws as "we must make it easier to hire and fire". the manifesto also whines about "6700 eu laws" that still stand, but whines and moves on, implying a mass unbounded deregulation of industry

🏥PUBLIC SERVICES

abolish the NHS and replace it with a private voucher system

catastrophic austerity: every government department to be removed of a 5% of its funding that it must account for itself, reducing spending across the board without central planning or oversight

catastrophic statecapture: abolish civil service leadership and replace them with politicised government appointees "from the private sector"

catastrophic hike on university entry requirements and mandate many be cut to two years

catastrophic privatisation of the remaining public healthcare with surge in outsourcing and contracting, 20% total tax relief for private healthcare

statecapture the BBC with full nationalisation

comprehensive curriculum audit to impose "patriotic education": mandate "any teaching about a period or example of british or european imperialism or slavery must be paired with the teaching of a non-european occurrence of the same to ensure balance", teach children about "their heritage"

public inquiry on "the harm of vaccines"

leave the WHO

end the exemption private schools from the 20% VAT. wait, wait no hang on i've got that wrong. oh right yeah, that's labour's policy, sorry. reform says to impose a 20% TAX RELIEF ON PRIVATE SCHOOLS. sorry peasants, your tax money is funding Eton now

🏠HOUSING

catastrophic tax breaks for small landlords

revoke the renters reform bill

abolish stamp duty (the tax on the buying of homes) under §750k and plummet it above that mark, allowing obscene wealth transfers, massive property buyup, catastrophic housing supply saturation, and the annihilation of first-time buying

🚄TRANSPORT ?

ban and abolish low emission zones

ban and abolish low traffic neighbourhoods

ban and abolish all 20mph zones except outside schools

lower petrol tax

👮FORCE

abolish the human rights act

abolish the equality act

leave the european convention on human rights

freeze "non-essential immigration", and they do not elaborate what they mean or what the policy definition is to be. so they're just gonna be rambling about ephemera to kingdom come. that's the game they're playing

10% HEAD TAX ON IMMIGRANTS via additional national insurance charge

REVOCATION OF CITIZENSHIP FROM IMMIGRANT UK CITIZENS COMMITTED OF CRIMES, without specifying whether or not this applies only to dual-citizens, meaning reform supports the mass imposition of STATELESS status, A GRAVE AND ABHORRENT CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY

invade france. i'm being serious. they'd intercept and arrest small-boat crossers and 'take them back to france', violating french territorial sovereignty on both land and sea via the use of force, gravely violating international law against our neighbour

FORTY THOUSAND new police in five years, around 25% more, massively prioritise pipelining ex-military officers and enlistees into the police, abolish PCSOs and make them regular broken-windows police

labour camps for young offenders

create a US-style coast guard and begin routine patrols for migrants or foreign fishers

surge armed forces funding by the highest amount proposed by any party

"stop Sharia law being used in the UK", ie draconian monitoring of mosques, muslim community organisations, the palestine movement, and any muslim

absolute prohibition on asylum applications from "safe countries", sentencing desperate seekers to political persecution and death by mere categorical definition

increase stop-and-search powers, mandates and centrality in policing tactics, pursue broken windows policing,

MANDATORY MINIMUM OF LIFE for second violent/serious offences or ANY drug dealing, new offence for 'substantial possession of drugs'

catastrophically demolish the legalised definition of hatecrime to de facto prevent its use for any prosecution

mass prison building, convert disused military bases into prison camps

bad internet bill: massive inquiry into 'child social media use' (under their watch requiring catastrophic restrictions), renew the online safety bill as "social media giants that push baseless transgender ideology and divisive critical race theory should have no role in regulating free speech"

abolish the northern ireland framework, seemingly unilaterally, paving the way for a hard border and blowing the starting whistle on The Troubles 2

speaking of which: exempt the armed forces from human rights law

catastrophically plummet the number of student visas and prohibit international students with dependents

end funding for european defence programmes. sorry estonia looks like you're lost. oh also "the west provoked putin" so there's that

require the licensing of foreign trawlers in the eez, beginning a cold war with iceland

halve international development / foreign aid funding from its already tiny budget, with specific mention of "global quangos" (literally how many centuries has it been and antisemitism is STILL invoked by these pillocks)

🌱ECOCIDE

repeal every penny of green investment

abolish all emissions targets including for all public services

abolish all renewable energy subsidies

mandate the use of fertile land for farming, ban natural england from protecting 'farmland' land, end and ban all rewinding programmes

abolish environmental levies

catastrophic surge on oil/gas licensing and open new lithium and coal mines, and support biomass/biofuel

🗳️DEMOCRACY ?

begin trumpist restriction on the ability to vote

abolish all postal voting apart from the elderly and disabled

keep voter ID

"legislate to stop left-wing bias and politically correct ideology"

proportional commons and elected senate

🏳️‍⚧️REACTIONARY AGENDA not otherwise covered

for all transgender schoolchildren who have not been permitted a gender recognition certificate: prohibit the use of correct pronouns by any teacher, prohibit the recognition of social transitioning by any teacher, and require mandatory outing to their parents

ban all unisex toilets

"cut funding to universities that undermine free speech", with no clarification, meaning they get to bully anyone they chose

abolish the public health observatory on racial health disparities

look, yeah. the manifesto is short, their purview is open. the door is not shut. everything is on the table. their one, two, three or more MPs are going to be using your tax money to advocate anything and anything that harms migrants, queer and trans people. nonwhite citizens and any annoying political movement can and will be fair game for total attack and political annihilation. wherever the transphobic tornado goes next they will join in. it is going to be a dangerous time for us. they are going to push for absolutely anything they can to harm trans people. your country. your money. your responsibility to fight them. that is what democracy is

[bronzemettle]

What's this I hear about Hero Rankings? Let me just look up who publishes those...

Are you an aspiring supervillain? You built yourself a laser sword and force field generator and you're robbing banks, but you really want to move up in the world and start making more of a name for yourself.

You need to subscribe to HenchCo Magazine!

This weekly publication contains not only a convenient shopping catalog of advanced technology (It's technically legal as long as we don't explicitly suggest what you would use it for...) (but it's Skymall for rayguns and weather machines), including coupons, plus a selection of tips for places that won't let you buy the tech, but do HAVE cool tech and coincidentally might also have weakened security soon...

You can also find the contact information for an assortment of no-questions-asked mercenary organizations at a variety of price ranges and levels of training, including discounts on HenchCo's own security contractors, all of whom will be willing to wear whatever uniform you give them! Themed, silly, demeaning, unflattering, hazardous to their personal health... Again, no questions asked.

But all that's just the back pages! In the front half of the magazine, every week you'll find the latest insider tips and tricks of the trade, interviews with recently captured supervillains explaining the mistakes they made and how you can do better, expert analysis of the more successful schemes, articles detailing the careeers of the biggest-name villains who never seem to stay down even when they fail again and again...

It's Business Insider, The Economist, Bloomberg, and Forbes all rolled into one, for supervillains! We legally have to tell you that you shouldn't imitate any of the acts described in our pages, but we will describe them in step-by-step detail.

Most of our issues are only for the eyes of paid subscribers, but the second issue of every month is publicly available for standalone purchase in most places that magazines are sold, or in digital form on our website. So you can get a taste without taking the plunge. But know that for every deal, for every tactic you learn, there's so much more behind just $70 per year, or $650 per 12 years (12 year subscription also comes with a free lidded, insulated, copper-interior beer stein that's ornately decorated with human-safe Kryptonite gemstones and contains trace amounts of salvaged Chitauri metal from the 2008 invasion of New York!)

But you may also be familiar with our Special Publications. Quarterly since Spring of 2006, we release our updated "200 Heroes You Must Plan To Defeat to Conquer The World" list, colloquelly referred to by other news outlets as the Hero Rankings.

The simple numbered list of names is available for free on our website, but if you buy the full issue (the first one of each year is available to non-subscribers), you'll find the full breakdown of all 200, who's new, why people moved up or down, full profiles for all their known powers, associates, standard operating procedures, where they patrol, whether they kill, whether they work with the police or SHIELD, and everything else you will need to know, along with another 55 honorable mentions, explanations of why they didn't make the list, and explanations for anyone who was removed from the list since the previous quarter.

Another Special Publication is the famous, infamous, ever-criticized and ever-popular Supervillain Swimsuit Calendars! Since 2010 these are released alongside the first issue of November for each upcoming year. There's a Men's Version, a Women's Version, and a Third Version with a little of everything, 36 (or more!) models every year, but each issue for that week is only packaged with one of the three variations, so your local stands might run out of the one you want! Have no fear, you can order this one online for delivery (shipping not included). Usher in the new year with saucy images from twelve of your favorite outlaws, cutthroats, and misunderstood visionaries.

There may also be... alternate takes for some of the photoshoots, dependent on whether the models were willing to go the extra distance. Available exclusively to subscribers, the Swimsuitless Version of the calendar might only feature models already in the other three variations, and might not even have unique models for every month on some years, but there are no pesky swimsuits to be seen. It's all supervillains all the time from toe to tongue!

(HenchCo Magazine is seriously a genius little bit of background worldbuilding Kim Possible set up for my headmate to wildly expand off from for an old fanfic and then me to steal wholesale for this. I love it so much.)

[void-botanist]

Standing, Asalun, & Associates

An AOM &c. AU that nobody asked for, so I'm delivering!

This is me taking Mystery Incorporated, Dead End: Paranormal Park, Hilda, Mob Psycho 100, and let's be honest, the whole ghost segment of The Sword Interval that lives rent-free in my mind into one vibeful concept: Horatio and Marcus run a paranormal investigation business.

Due to all of their proposed names being terrible puns or just not catchy, they gave up and called it Standing & Asalun. They run it out of what is Horatio's Flowers in AOM, and they do extremely lackluster business. However, Celia thinks it's the most delightful fucking thing and inserted herself into the investigation so much that they essentially hired her. She still has a day job, like Marcus, and unlike Horatio MyOwnBoss Standing. Eventually Allison joined in, and even if they would hire him he doesn't actually want the job, so he's technically a contractor. Still, the addition of another regular meant that they finally felt like they had to change the name to Standing, Asalun, & Associates.

Season One

Season one is the alternate story to AOM and begins with things going poorly as usual - they're not actually that bad at their job, but they have a hard time finding people who actually need paranormal things investigated, or even stuff they can put on their video channel - until Sid blows into town, with his parents not far behind. Horatio is instantly convinced that something is Off. No one else agrees - obviously Sid is just having a bad time and is also sixteen years older than when they last saw him. Horatio is ready to acknowledge that he was just too hungry for a lead when Sid starts having dreams that are very clearly not normal weird but paranormal weird. On an island that seems to have nothing paranormal going on, there's nowhere they could possibly be coming from...unless Sid's recently arrived parents have something to do with it. But they're not even witches, let alone known to be capable of whatever this is. So why do they seem to make the dreams worse but their muddy message clearer? SAA - but especially Horatio and the newest associate, Sid - will stop at nothing to find out.

Starring

Horatio Standing

keeps the books

makes the pepe silvia boards

lives above SAA

brings the Fred Jones energy

Marcus Asalun

makes most of the money that goes into the books with his art

designs the ghost science experiments

lives elsewhere but if he could fit his studio into Horatio's place he'd probably just live there. it would cost less

brings the Velma Dinkley energy

Celia Standing

manages the morale

gives the pep talks

lives with Allison

brings the Daphne Blake energy

Allison Hughes

keeps to his own schedule

bakes the snacks

lives with Celia, but it's his house

brings the Shaggy Rogers energy (or Scooby, because wolf)

Sid Reid

keeps a log of his strange nightmares

makes all the food that's not snacks

lives with Horatio and also in fear of his parents, paranormal influence or no

brings the Mr. E energy

with additional appearances by

Avis Peynon

is not your fucking chauffeur service damn it

Sorian Shank

inherited Fred Jones's legendary trapbuilding abilities

Phil Shank

will be your chauffeur service if you don't kill her vibe

Leon Standing

has a book on that but no he doesn't know what the text means either

Edith Standing

banned from contracting with SAA because she pranked them too much

Donovan Reid

is obviously a paranormal intensifier because he's clearly the coolest guy in the world

Emma Reid

read a book about this once and yes she's sure she knows what the text means

[elveneye]

``I know now fragility.``

-

You would think for a character that has basically become my profile mascot, I would draw him a lot - but alas art block is constantly swinging a bat at my head. 👍

This is my version of Dagri'Lon from Interesting NPCs! Despite being a super follower there's not a lot of content on him (I understand. He's a pain in the ass.) so here's some recognition for this edgelord.

[More info under "Keep Reading"!]

Sorry if I say anything that makes no sense up ahead my english is running low on fuel today …⁠ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ

You could say this version of him is an AU, because I changed aspects of him that just wouldn't be anything like the real Dagri'Lon you get me? Dagri is supposed to be a serious character but I sort of picked him up like "You're my friend now, we're having soft tacos later :)"

It's very funny having this ancient dude who's body is in a vortex of slowed time and is no doubt tormented by that tag along with the Dragonborn that is only alive by sheer luck. Oh and also Inigo. And they're brother and sister. I don't know how one survives hanging out with siblings who start throwing shit at each other when bored (as siblings do).

Anyways about his design!!! I knew I could improve his original outfit somehow, so I took a couple of mods, jumbled them up together aaand created something, I guess! So it's not really my design I just sort of played dress up with him LMFAOA

I do feel like I could've given him armour that's more... the best I could describe is, grim reaper-y? Like some kickass black robe - but I couldn't find anything at the time, so I just stuck with Contractor armor. It does improve stealth, though!

But no matter what I absolutely HAD to have a hood to highlight the fact he's got no head. I mean that's like the focal point of his design, his non existent head. I'm too lazy to write the entire story of how he lost it but the way I remember it (and this I couldn't find on the internet I had to listen to him repeat it in the game) was he had these 3 servants that had to guard his body during the transfer which I assume was him trying to become immortal. One of them, never specified which, was like ay fuck you guys and sort of nuked the entire transfer, killing everyone in the process except for Dagri'Lon, who's soul was now in the void and his body in slo-mo. He also says there was a dagger in his neck which he just throws in randomly? And it took him about 300 years or more to even conjure up movement. TWO ENTIRE CENTURIES LATER his body is just, still in slow motion. And his fate has lead him to be the side kick of a Khajiit woman who jumps head first into traps and cries whenever she has to count.

Oh and the horns are purely accessories. Just thought they looked cool.

"If he's headless, why the eyes and teeth?" Well here comes the part where I intervene! If I'm being honest I was like "Yeah this just looks cool lol" but I made up a reason so now I have an excuse to draw him like this.

The eyes and teeth aren't real, they're purely just an illusion spell. If you tried sticking your hand under his hood (good luck) it would just phase through. But it's not a permanent spell, so if he forgets to recast it, well you can see in the drawing what happens. It doesn't hurt him or anything, it's like some sort of ectoplasm breaking down, which now makes this drawing funny because it would be the equivalent of not blowing your nose in a while and snot shooting out when you sneeze. If this doesn't make sense in the Elder Scrolls world I can't think of a better reason sorry 💔

There's more little details that I changed about him... Like he doesn't hate absolutely EVERYTHING that isn't decay (he likes hares. really likes hares), not as Gary Stu as he is ( I like to think that whenever he makes some sort of egocentric comment some Looney Tunes type of shit happens like he immediately gets sent flying by a trap) and most important of all HE'S NOT BAREFOOT !!!

I only now remembered to mention this but he's a mage who, If I had friendly fire on, would end up vaporising me every other fight. I've never seen worse aiming in my life.

-

If you've made it this far, thank you very much for reading. This is like the first time I've publicly just info dumped about an interest lol.

If you've got any questions about him send em my way in the asks!

[annaphoenix1994]

Ch.9 - Making a Deal with the Devil

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

Valeria is interrogated; The team begins a new mission after receiving new intel about the missile’s location.

The following morning, each of the soldiers running on fumes and no rest, entered the shipping container used as a makeshift interrogation room behind Graves, who had been gripping Valeria along with him before forcing her into the chair. Ghost stood in the shadows, hidden away like he always liked, watching the interrogation before him. 

Valeria chuckled, "Ah, senora, nice fight back there." She taunted at Kiera, looking at her face in the natural sunlight coming from the window. 

"Yeah? Well, I can't say the same about you." She retorted. 

"Alright, how do you two know each other?" Graves asked Alejandro. 

"Know is a strong word." 

"Strong words are important. Our word is our worth, right?" Valeria taunted at him.

"Go to hell, you son of a bitch. I'll fucking kill you!" Alejandro shouted, raging toward her, both Soap and Rodolfo were quick to stop the man in his fit of rage. "Calm down, Commander." 

"Yeah? Yeah?!" He scoffed, walking away briefly before turning around to face her. "Go on, tell them." 

"I don't take orders anymore. Even the dogs in Las Almas know not to bark at me." 

"She's ex-military. We served together."

"Different squads, same unit," Valeria stated, leaning back in her chair and draping her arm over the back of it. "You were the wild ones, huh? Los Vaqueros." 

Alejandro smiled. 

"My squad was clean cut senores y senores." 

"Until the raid on the son of La Arana. Do you remember?"

"I remember perfectly."

"Her team was told to cordon off the city to keep out La Arana's enforcers and prevent the bloodshed." 

"That's exactly what we did."

"Well, you kept out his enforcers, because you were his enforcers, huh?"

"He was escorted to the mountains without incident. Also to prevent bloodshed." She smirked, mocking Alejandro.

"He was supposed to go to prison." Rodolfo commented. 

"So you killed him and you took over," Graves said, putting his hand on her shoulder to put her back into her chair. "Why?" 

"I created a power vacuum and filled it. Las Almas needs me." 

"Las Almas needs soldiers, not sicarios. And you - you disgrace the army. And your brothers, no?" 

"Why're you doin' this?" Graves asked. 

"You tell me. You're the contractor, no? What you don't do, your competitors will." 

"You're a narco harboring a terrorist." Ghost chimed in. 

"Terrorism is good for business. It's insurance."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Alejandro scoffed. 

"Can you get your fucking head out of your ass for a second? For fuck's sake, Alejandro!" Valeria shouted. "As long as there is a war on terror, there will be no real war on drugs. To find your so-called terrorist and your missiles, you need me. To prevent bloodshed." 

"No, I'm not doing this." Alejandro sighed. 

"Doesn't change anything--"

"It changes everything! Fuck! Don't make a deal with her. It won't end well." Alejandro warned, nodding for Kiera to follow him out, only to be stopped in her tracks by Valeria's next words, which now turned the conversation into something of personal grit. 

"All the pussy and all the power, huh?" 

Ghost looked at Kiera, watching the gears in her head start to turn as she turned around to look at her. God, she's intimidating. "You can't use the advice I gave you in the past to use against me in your fucked-up little world you're living in." She retorted, pointing her finger at her. 

All of the men, including Alejandro, looked at her in confusion. Now, how does she know her?

"So how do you two know each other?" Graves questioned. 

"I know of her, but not personally," Kiera replied, glaring at Valeria. "Do you want to tell them? Or should I?" 

Valeria smirked, "Vamos." 

Kiera breathed a scoff, the tension between the two so thick you could slice it with a knife, "When I was assigned to Las Almas the first time, I was doing recon. Actually, the same bar I went to the other night to get an invite to your precious little party," She mocked at her. "Oh, by the way, you should get more men that aren't so eager to get their dicks wet to work for you. All I had to do was say I would fuck him before he's throwing an invitation at me." 

Valeria went to stand to her feet but was forced back down by Graves. 

"If I remember right, you were a prostitute. You and one of the many men you brought in that night were at the bar and he made you order his drink, so I gave you advice on how to be a woman - you had the two things that man wanted that night: all the pussy and all the power. I guess you turned it into malicious intent." Kiera recalled. 

*

August 12, 2020

The bar reeked of beer and tequila as Kiera took another drag from a cigarette, thinking about her next plan for her mission. As she scribbled on her napkin of pointless lines to a stranger, a woman and man stumbled their way to the bar, the woman was smiling and babbling on about how amazing their night was going to be, but the man didn't seem so eager. With a rough Spanish accent, he said, "Get me a tequila on the rocks. Two olives." before walking towards the restroom, leaving Valeria standing in shock, a frown plastered on her face. 

"Women." Kiera scoffed, taking another sip from the whiskey she had ordered. 

"I'm sorry?" Valeria replied. 

"Life is all about perspective and you don't have any." 

"I-I still don't understand." She said, knitting her brows as she wondered how a white woman with striking blonde hair spoke Spanish so well that she would pass for a local and not a tourist. 

"I just sat and listened to that man talk to you like a damn dog and order his drink for him while he went to go and fix his hair," She scoffed, offering Valeria a cigarette. "When you learn to use the two things you were blessed to have, you'll have all these men bowing at your fucking feet." 

"Yeah? And what's that?" 

"You have the two things every man wants: all the power and all the pussy. When you make them work for it, they'll either stay or they'll go. But either way, they'll be to your every whim." 

"I never thought of it like that." 

"Now you do. Keep it that way. It'll keep you out of trouble." 

Taking another drag from her cigarette, she tensed as she couldn't wait to see the situation unfold before her. The man had returned with stark anger and irritation. "Where's my drink?" 

The women shared a glance, Kiera nodding in approval for Valeria's needed response. "Get your own fucking drink." 

Kiera chuckled, taking the last sip from her whiskey, "Man, that cheered me up." 

*

"How's that working out for you now?" Kiera scoffed. 

"You tell me." Valeria shrugged. 

"Since you say that, it looks like you're sitting here being interrogated because you're housing a terrorist when it's an eight wonder of the world that you're not in prison by now." 

"Alright, knock it off, you two," Graves sighed. "Officer, step out and cool off." 

Kiera nodded, following her orders before Valeria spoke again as Kiera got to the door, "You should read the fine print, senora. When it comes to me and the cartel, you shouldn't poke a bear." 

"Yeah? Well, there's one thing you're forgetting about me," Kiera replied, standing to face her, and locking eyes with Valeria. "I'm the bigger bear. Even you know not to bark at me." She mocked. 

Valeria scoffed, "I did last night, didn't I? Roughed up that pretty little face of yours, no?" 

"Do we need a repeat of last night?" She replied, recalling the damage to Valeria's face that was significantly more damaged than Kiera's. "Because I'll do it." 

"Doubtful." 

"We'll see about that. And I suggest you tell us everything we need to know," Kiera warned with a sly smirk as she opened the door, turning back to Valeria to say one last thing. "To prevent bloodshed." 

Bloody fucking hell, Ghost thought at the altercation, recalling brief moments of their fight from the night before. If it wasn't for a life-or-death scenario, he'd want to see it again. Mainly because both Kiera and Valeria didn't fight like a typical brawl you'd see in high school - this was a hand-to-hand, bare-knuckle fight that was entertaining to watch. As much as Ghost hated to admit it, he had to give Valeria respect for charging at Kiera first. Even he wouldn't do that. He briefly recalled getting curious about Kiera's background while talking to Alejandro a day or two after their arrival, Alejandro confirming that she was extremely skilled in hand-to-hand combat, weapon control, reconnaissance, mounted shooting, and intelligence. After all, she had to be when being trusted by the C.I.A when it came to locating a target. 

After the door had shut, Soap then spoke up to Valeria, "Looks like it's your turn to tell the truth."

"I want the missiles. I want the target, and I want Hassan. And you've got ten seconds or I'm gonna show you the difference between the military and me." Graves warned, a new tension filling the room. 

"I don't know the targets. I'm a courier, I move things. I can tell you where to find the missiles and when you return, I'll tell you where Hassan is. In exchange, you will let me go and get the fuck out of Las Almas."

"Deal. Until then, you're staying right here." 

[elalmadelmar]

Do you think one can ethically enjoy the svb bank collapse. I KNOW it effects regular people and not just rich assholes but any time I read anything about it my dominant emotional reaction is "lmao get rekt." I know that's not mature, but it's so hard to feel anything else! ESPECIALLY when all the news seems to focus on is how this effects other rich people shit like stocks and investment security. I'm not happy that normal people aren't getting paid, but I am delighted that a major bank was brought down by a bunch of panicking tech bros causing a fucking bank run. Can I keep enjoying the schadenfreude, or should I put on a mourning veil and nod somberly every time it's brought up?

Hey anon, thank you for asking this question. This is an interesting one, and I had a good time chewing on it a bit before I sat down to answer.

In a way, it feels like the inverse of the "thoughts and prayers" issue. There, like here, we -- you and I, and 99.9999% of the rest of the tumblr ecosystem and the world at large -- can't do anything about the current situation. There is nothing particularly useful that we would do if we packed our bags and showed up onsite to "help," and we have our own lives that we need to keep on track.

Do I think donning a mourning veil and nodding somberly every time SVB comes up in conversation would actually improve the situation in even the tinest of ways? Not really, no, any more than posting "thoughts and prayers" on Facebook does. It's not gonna get any startup employees or contractors paid, it's not gonna convince the rest of the larger finance world to stop running around in circles and screaming incoherently, it's not gonna convince the government to maybe let the risk-hungry investors actually feel some of the pain of their risk-taking.

And, let's be real, a little schadenfreude can be cathartic. It's nice to see the guys on top of the world panic-crying sometimes. To be clear, the things that they regard as catastrophic and the things that are catastrophic for us normies down here on the ground are very, very different, and even on their worst day they're much better off than I think I will ever be, but... well, it's kinda nice to see rich assholes have bad days anyway.

But there is a risk there as well; it's entirely possible to take so much joy in the bad day of a rich man that you lose sight of the downstream impacts. One of the things that makes trying to fix our broken world so difficult is that any major event has very wide-ranging impacts, and those impacts almost always fall hardest on the people least able to cope with them. And while Facebook thoughts and prayers do nothing to help or harm others, it is also true that your habitual thoughts become your unquestioned and automatic thoughts. Unbridled schadenfreude can over time lead to a chronic lack of compassion for others, and that, I think, is something to carefully avoid.

My approach, and the approach I recommend in general, is to let multiple things be true at once, and to hold that dualism actively in your mind. Enjoy the schadenfreude -- believe me, I am! -- but don't let yourself forget the ordinary people impacted. Let an awareness of them hang at the back of your mind even while you're laughing. Not with guilt, but with caring, because much like schadenfreude, compassion is a habit you can cultivate.

[adhesivetapesaustralia]

Top 5 Reasons to Buy Double Sided Glazing Tape Today for Perfect Seals!

If you're tackling a DIY project or looking for professional solutions in construction and glazing, finding the right materials is crucial. One of the most important yet often overlooked tools is double sided glazing tape. Whether you're working on windows, doors, or glass partitions, this specialized tape offers unbeatable sealing capabilities. At My Tape Store, we provide high-quality solutions to help you achieve a perfect, durable seal. Below are five compelling reasons why you should buy double sided glazing tape right now.

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Final Thoughts

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[pmmechanicalny0606]

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Get in touch with P&M Mechanical Inc. for any and all mechanical needs, whether it's routine maintenance, unexpected repairs, or a complete system overhaul. Their steadfast dedication goes beyond that. This business is reliable. For all of your HVAC needs, contact P&M Mechanical Inc. You may be confident that I will strive to go above and beyond your expectations. People in my town and the surrounding areas of New York and Connecticut go to our HVAC company for all of their needs because of our extensive product catalog and great customer service. Despite our unwavering resolve, nothing has happened thus far. Our triumph seemed like a happy accident in comparison to their meticulous planning. Feel free to contact P&M Mechanical Inc. at any time with inquiries about the services we offer.

[canthermdistributors]

Everything You Need to Know About Portable Heater Accessories by Arcotherm

When it comes to keeping warm in chilly environments, portable heaters are a lifesaver. And if you own an Arcotherm heater, you know you're dealing with top-notch quality. But did you know that there are accessories available to enhance your heating experience? In this guide, we'll dive into the world of portable heater accessories by Arcotherm, focusing on how they can elevate your heating game.

Understanding Arcotherm Portable Heaters

Before we delve into the accessories, let's quickly recap what makes Arcotherm portable heaters stand out. These heaters are renowned for their efficiency, durability, and ease of use. Whether you need to heat a construction site, warehouse, or outdoor event, Arcotherm heaters deliver consistent warmth, even in the harshest conditions.

Introducing Arcotherm EC85

One of the flagship models in Arcotherm's lineup is the EC85. This powerful portable heater is designed to provide rapid heating in large spaces. With its robust construction and advanced features, the EC85 is a favorite among professionals who require reliable heating solutions.

Exploring Arcotherm Heater Accessories

Now, let's talk about the accessories that can complement your Arcotherm heater:

a. Thermostat Control

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The Importance of the Arcotherm EC85 Manual

No discussion about Arcotherm heaters is complete without mentioning the importance of the EC85 manual. This comprehensive guide provides essential information on installation, operation, maintenance, and troubleshooting. Whether you're a seasoned professional or a first-time user, consulting the manual ensures that you get the most out of your heater while maintaining safety and efficiency.

Conclusion

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[tipsforrealestateinvestment]

How to Start Flipping Houses As a Real Estate Agent

Real estate agent house flipping can be an extremely profitable venture if done successfully, though its challenges should not deter potential real estate agents from getting involved. House flipping involves purchasing property at a discount and then quickly selling it for profit; an industry popular among investors but a dream for many others alike. Finding suitable properties at competitive prices while managing all renovation-related costs efficiently are keys to successful house flipping.

Being equipped with the appropriate team members is of utmost importance when managing a property transaction, such as hiring a general contractor, real estate agent, appraiser and home inspector. An attorney would also be useful as you will likely be working with contracts and legal documents; and an accountant is beneficial when handling tax preparation or other financial issues.

TV shows may make the process seem easy, but there are numerous moving parts at play when investing. A solid plan and budget should be created for every project and be willing to put forth the time and energy necessary for each property's profitability. Remember this is no quick way to become wealthy! It will take time before real returns on each property are seen.

As you start out house flipping, you are bound to make mistakes as you learn the process. Some of them may cost money; don't let this deter you - learn from these errors and adapt accordingly - that is how successful house flippers become so successful in this business!

New flippers frequently make the mistake of not conducting enough market research before beginning their flipping ventures. It is vital to know exactly what buyers are searching for in each neighborhood and any local trends; additionally, knowing how much of an overhaul needs to take place and creating an accurate timeline are also key components to successful flipping ventures.

New flippers frequently make the mistake of not spending sufficient time searching for reliable contractors to work on their properties, which can result in subpar workmanship or even legal complications.

One mistake that novice flippers frequently make is failing to hire legal assistance for assistance during the process, leading to costly legal complications later. If you're ready to enter the world of house flipping, assembling an expert team is crucial to its success. This should include general contractors, attorneys, appraisers and home inspectors - essential individuals if your projects run smoothly and become profitable in order to increase long-term returns and expand your real estate portfolio.