#your message made me lol
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Alastor is a complex character!
Despite being one of the few characters in Hazbin with confirmed identities (his ethnic background and sexual orientation), those identities are in of themselves, complex experiences.
There’s seemingly nothing about the character that is Black or White.
I think that’s why he is such a compelling character! Also, it’s probably one reason why he is such an attractive conduit for folks’ creative expression.
His identities are not necessarily why many people may gravitate towards him, but they do offer a chance for people to investigate him and explore a character—as unique as he is—into avenues they may not have considered before.
I can commiserate with feeling defensive of a character who shares an identity with you—ESPECIALLY an underrepresented one. Discourse is natural and completely fine! (And very educational sometimes in my experience)
But I don’t think it’s fruitful to police a fandom in these matters. Some folks come to my inbox (I delete the really rude ones) or comment sections with a very cop-like attitude to a space that’s supposed to be creative and/or fun *airhorn*
That’s my take as just some guy on the internet 🤓🛜 have a good dayyyyy
#NOT TO MENTION HE’S A CANNIBAL DEMON RADIO HOST FROM 1920S NEW ORLEANS#WHAT A GUY!!#I like media analysis and discourse#that’s why I make posts like these lol#and the source material is sooo compelling and offers chances to utilize critical thinking like this#which is just SWELL :)#and it’s also very funny and silly and I love that too#that’s why I don’t like the cop attitude some fans have#also I don’t like the police but that’s my own thing hahah#an anon sent me a detailed message that made me wanna make this post#if that anon sees this#I appreciated your message! sincerely and I thought you were quite graceful#for the anons who come into my inbox mean-spirited: catch these hands 😛
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Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...
#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively#and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop#and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like#'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics#oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really#sorta like afterword stuff#gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes#anyways.#time and time again#spoilers#what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh#adam and steve#ttawebcomic#sketches#sketch dump#these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe#the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL
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One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
#squiggposting#and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever#it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send#and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines#or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster#like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone#without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side#sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid#and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable#even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered#he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense#this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in#but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally#or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey#but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered#to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional#in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP#that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation#shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority#when your own sins are right fhere lol
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im SO sure that paul has a big ass ego like he KNOWS he's hot and a good driver and that screenshot of him talking abt kimi just confirmed it even more😭
can u imagine him being with someone that puts him back in his place bc ok she thinks he's hot but what he has in ego she has in stubbornness???? and normally he would be offended by the things she says but he just doesn't mind bc she's the one saying it and he actually enjoys being annoying and getting that kind of reaction out of her
i just love this type of dynamic soooo much😭😭😭
!!!!!! 😭😩 you're SO right. i definitely see him as someone with a big ego lmaooo like his confidence is just like that. and it's fair tbh because yes he is a good driver and he is very very very hot... and omg with a girl who's stubborn like that? he would be so flustered to have someone talk back at him for once. like the first times it happens he's just staring at her with wide eyes, raised eyebrows and mouth slightly agape – and maybe a little flush on his cheeks. eventually he gets used to it, but he doesn't stop doing it, even just to get a rise out of her...
#im getting the vibes of hitechs radio messages to marcus in 2022#“you keep complaining about rear locking but we can't control that. that's on you.”#“just get off the radio and get on with it. please.”#or mp to franco last weekend lol “mate if you're faster you pass”#i imagine yn being very “paul stop complaining? you're good obviously but just drive better and you'll get that win?”#and him just muttering something under his breath and acting like he's annoyed when he actually likes it lol#im extremely stubborn myself so this made me melt#paul cmere so i can tell you to stop harassing the child on your ig channel <3#asks!#anon!#paul thoughts
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i can't believe they r roommates
hi guys i don't read much fanfiction but i read my mutual's gijinka fic And They Were Roommates and it was good and you guys should read it, i also thought i should show my appreciation by depicting my favorite moments artistically (i took a few creative liberties okay)
number one the glitter incident:
number two the sparring incident:
and finally number three the parmesan incident:
all gijinka designs by the fic author, @starsh0cked (i did my best lol)
#kirby#fanfic#kirby fanfic#lrblev art#sketch#comic#magolor#taranza#susie haltmann#taranza: “i take commissions!” magolor: “good then that will cover your hospital bills”#i actually finished reading the fic a while ago and almost sent you a message but i thought this would be a funnier way to tell you#anyway yeah good work! a tasty treat for kirby fans everywhere!#you're a great writer. also you made me learn what “blanched” means when its outside a cookbook. that was a big day for me#i dont have an ao3 account but consider this my “kudos”#ps: sorta if youre reading this i do have some “artistic depictions” planned for your series as well lol
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Papi, are you alive? Thunderbolts trailer leaked and we got Hailee back from the dead (and there's the movie with Andrew and Florence and its KYAU coded as fuck) Kate and Yelena content galor this week. PLEASE COME BACK. We've been deprived for a year. It's been jail for too long. Grace us with Kate x Yelena content again. Pretty please.
*taps mic* Is this thing on?
#i don't even know what compelled me to open this again tonight but this is a funny message to get today#man it really has been two weeks short of a year#hi#life has been.........interesting lol#and yes#I have seen all of the kate x yelena content and if you don't think I have fifteen million new AUs in my head in a year you don't know me#also like 59 new clexa AUs#my brain is my brain#just because I wasn't here doesn't mean writing wasn't gettimg done#man WHAT A YEAR lol#but I'm glad y'all even care what I have to say about anything lol#I got an email a few weeks about that this blog turned 18#like a 'happy birthday to your blog' or some shit tumbrl email#and nothing has ever made me feel older#this blog is old enough to vote lmao#and I had a tumble before I just deleted and started fresh#I've been on this hellsite too long#anyway...Papi has been through Some Shit#some GOOD some almost legit killed me#the last four months have been...SOMETHING#but I'm here I'm gay and I've never stopped coming up with AUs#for clexa or bishova#I was just...doing life#rants#anonymous#answers
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If you were a pokemon which one would you be?
A psychic type perhaps... or dark type...
I’ve never played the games, so all my knowledge is from watching the cartoon in the mornings before school.
Espurr is the most obvious choice logically, but i also like the sound of being a Sneasel.
#mp100 rp#mp100#mob psycho 100#answered asks#ooc comment: my friend who runs the shou blog immediately messaged me when they got your ask lol#ooc comment: ive made a few drawings of mp100 as pokemon on my main acc
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Zero Day (2002)
#movies film cinema#zero day#ben coccio#I actually talked to the director on Facebook super nice guy and he told#me a lot about the filmmaking process and even helped me with tips on directing non-actors and new actors#I remember him telling me to always be supportive and tell your new actors they're doing a good job even if they aren't in the first take#cause you can instill confidence and still reshape and change their choices and mistakes later#Sometimes I'd message him for advice when I was running into problems on some of my early projects#he told me once ''did ya choose to collaborate with this actor cause you were lonely or you guys had passion and chemistry''#“collaborating is like a relationship” and he was so right#there's nothing worse than working with people you disdain cause there's no communication and no trust.#he told me how he wrote the first couple of drafts of Place Beyond the Pines but his take on the 3rd act wasn't clicking for the director#so he took the script and went and had another writer rewrite the 3rd act but he liked the process cause he learned a lot and still got pai#but I'd still like to see Ben Coccio's take on Place Beyond The Pines he says the 1st and 2nd act are mostly unchanged#Ryan Gosling's scenes are still mostly the same he said but he couldn't tell me too much cause of the NDA he signed#The bloopers of Zero Day are hilarious his tip he gave me about being supportive#“This is actually great but can we-” and Cal interrupts him “He says that no matter what if you're doing good or bad!” and everyone lols#I hope I can make it and ask him to collab with me on a script#He's such a nice dude compared to the harrowing film he made.#I wish there was BTS but he had only one tape to film on and this was made when digital camcorders were infants#I think he had only one 2 hour tape that's how low budget#The bloopers is just Cal or Andre secretly filming and Ben getting annoyed “Is it recording?” and Cal going “Nah..."#Cal is such a funny guy IRL I wanna see him act more cause he's so good. He was so great at playing a sadistic psychopath in this.#the final shooting is so harrowing and disturbing#I told Ben he srsly gut punched me/disturbed me and this is what made him really open up.
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Figured some of you might like this :3
I've started reworking my old website a while back, made a brand new design for it, and I love it a lot! I feel some of you might as well!!
Best viewed on Desktop, but it is responsive (adapted for mobile devices). If you spot any bugs PLSSS tell me!!! My page doll was stretched on iPad for a month and none of my friends told me x.x
ANYWAYZZ Hope you like it! Feel free to leave a message in the chat box, or in the guestbook!!!
#txt#website#rainbow#furry#neocities#i just pushed some updates to it lol thats mostly why I'm posting abt it on main and on here#The code was made entirely by me save for a few things that are listed in the credits if you want them for your website as well#Also if you need help to make a website you can always message me#it's basically my day job haha#Anyways it fits the blog theme sort of it's rainbow and got some webcore ish stuff going on right#nothing more webcore than. havign your own. website#djgnskdfjgd
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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Recent disney and pixar movies have felt like movies in the way that monster high movies feel like movies. And I don’t want anyone to see this and go “but at least monster high movies are good!” cuz, sure whatever I don’t care, just listen. What I’m saying is these recent disney movies are so forgettable and I don’t think it’s just because of the rise of streaming services fucking up how the films are marketed and viewed, they also feel unbelievably pointless. They feel like movies made around a plot that would be forced into a ten minute episode if it were a cartoon made by smaller creators rn. The plots are so simple I feel like a toddler like I feel like the stakes have gotten increasingly lower and everything is underwhelming. Toy story 4’s big conflict was woody needs to get the plastic spoon back to the little girl. Inside out 2 was the emotions needing to get back to headquarters while riley is just at hockey camp and they learn their lessons in five minutes. Encanto is just mirabelle talking to her family and then singing songs at her. Strange world was a very basic father/son relationship story with no real stakes. The main thing luca wants in luca is a vespa and the main thing mei wants in turning red is concert tickets. Not even gonna glance at wish or lightyear cuz like who watched those what are those movies even for. I can’t remember any of these movies and even the ones I liked are still underwhelming and I walked out of them trying to justify that to myself like “oh well not every movie has to have a crazy plot, sometimes they can be simple”. But it’s like. All their movies now. And the characters are uh, they’re okay in some of them I guess I dunno. And this isn’t even to say that the more beloved older disney movies never had simple plots cuz like look at Cinderella, half of that movie is just animals getting into shenanigans to fill time. But idk, it felt like people actually wanted to make that movie and put love and attention into it. Now these things are just disney pumping out vague emotions that might get them an award while coating everything with this “look at how much money we have” polish
#the klock keeps ticking#this isnt coherent at all im sooooo tired i havent slept good at all lately ughhh#i used monster high as an example but havent really made the comparison properly huh#basically mh movies are really just there to sell dolls and yeah sometimes the movies are fun#sometimes theyre about something cool even#but theyre also low quality made for tv movies that got pumped out a machine#and some of them are just really really bad#and even the ones that i like like friday night lights i mean its like core message is a pretty basic short thing about misogyny in sports#which is what youd expect from a low quality made for tv movie made to sell dolls#but disney is out here doing like the same writing in 2024 with their ungodly expensive animation#and its just like. seriously? this is seriously what you want?#to make shallow garbage with shiny paint a few times a year just so you can get more money and keep it up?#youre trash disney. utter fucking trash#this is brought to you by me watching inside out 2 for shits and feeling pretty much exactly how i expected to feel lol#i love how not gay riley is obsessed with a girl who is literally the Basic Cool Gay Love Interest#which is a whole other post honesty but its a drinking game for me at this point cuz thats the only gay character corporations know how to#write its just like. they are Cool and Nice and so so Cool and they literally never stop smiling for one second and they are Cool#and thats about it! and if you dont ship them with the quirky anxiety ridden gay youre an ungrateful faggot
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I sometimes have huge feelings take me over, and right now I'm just grateful.
I met people at university and in one year I went from extremely lonely to having friends I could talk to about the most personal stuff. I got to know them as people on a way I never thought would have happened just one year ago. Literally one year ago.
The new university year starts tomorrow, so tomorrow will be one year since we met and I'm just feeling a lot because of it right now. (technically it's the 20th if we go by date, but technicalities, and having two days to celebrate is not a problem for me either)
I'll just let this post be a reminder to people to appreciate the people in their lives who care for them. Things can be horrible and you can feel truly lonely, I don't want to erase those experiences, but if there are people in your life who Care, truly and genuinely care. Appreciate them. If you can, send them a message thanking them, or give them a little gift if words are hard. Let's just let people in our lives know we love them dearly
#morningtalks#I will have to go to bed now very soon because it is 4 am and I'm still very much aware of what I'm doing but overemotional lol#At least it's a good one this time and I have tears of joy in my eyes#I love my friends and I love my mutuals here on Tumblr too#The main thing that made me emotional was thinking of the moments I had with my irl friends lately#But don't think I don't love you people here on my phone.#I am bad at messaging (and very shy lmao) but I love seeing you on my dash and me reblogging your stuff is my silently trying to send my lo#I'll use words too once I've had some hours of sleep into me and can string a Coherent Sentence together without getting tears#But I LOVE YOU 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
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hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro
#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT#account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze#from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU!#a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK!#i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT!#i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks.#i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND#now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits#so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it.#i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it#by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine#and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol.#anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but..#they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!!#i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer#and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me'#anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good#genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah#just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow#ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me
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I desperately need to befriend a Death Note fan irl who likes Death Note the way I do.. The only DN fans I've met irl are anime only Near haters :'(
#I NEED someone to shake while I rant to them about Death Note pls pls pls#I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO GIGGLE WITH WHILE WE STARE AT DEATH NOTE PANELS PLS PLS PLS#My sister has seen Death Note but she's not really into it + anime only + Near hater </3#It sucks to remember that the Death Note fandom isn't just my mutuals.. Some people genuinely hate Near :((#I LOVE the anime the animation is beautiful the soundtrack is beautiful and OOOOO THE COLOR CODING EEEE but#It butchered the 2nd half soo so badly and changed Near's personality and I'm not a fan of the ending :(#THE MANGA ENDING IS SOOO SO GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL#OMGGGG when Light admits to being Kira and gives them his speech and calls himself god of the new world AND EEEE NEAR SAYS “NO YOURE JUST A#MASS MURDERER“#LIKE EEEE THAT ALWAYS ALWAYS MAKES ME GIGGLE NEAR WAS SOOO SO COOL FOR THAT LIKE HE'S LITERALLY FACE TO FACE WITH KIRA THE GUY WHO KILLED L#And Near REPEATS IT. HE CALLS HIM “JUST A MURDERER” TWICE.#Sorry but the anime made Near so stupid “lol just let him run away it's not like he'll survive”#I love Near and Light's dynamic so much they're so funny. They have the prettiest panels too#Maybe an unpopular opinion but Near vs Light was wayyy more entertaining that L vs Light#And it hurts me to see people say that it should've ended at the 1st half. I know people can have their own opinions or whatever but THEYRE#WRONG!! DN is SOOO much better with the 2nd half + if it ended at L's death that would've sucked. So glad L died midway#I wish I had a friend I could talk about DN to :( I'll just hope one of my friends decide to watch it because idk how to make new friends#Discord servers scare me and while I love my mutuals if any of you tried to message me I think I'd cry out of nervousness lol#Gosh this is long shoukd I even post this
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.
#i had a dream that i submitted a lotro support ticket about some issue that was happening when i opened my inventory#and they messaged me back just saying 'just dont open your inventory lol'#which okay they would never word it like that#but they have started saying 'weve sent this to our quality assurance team to review to see if its an issue that requires fixing'#and i think thats kind of rude#like the first time i saw it i was saying 'these gloves show up this way on female characters and this way on male characters'#and while im pretty sure its a mistake it might not be#so it made sense there#but on skills that arent working right? neck seams? you need to review that and see if it needs fixing??????#theyve also started telling me to go be on the forums in every bug submission response and like. dude#i JUST blocked the forums so i cant access them from my computer#i did not do this for funsies#the forums are a toxic place and i cant handle it#if you want me on the forums do more moderation. maybe stop letting people use slurs as their usernames
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it's like a weird pull of "come on, it's not that bad to indulge a little, so what if you think of obsession and how nice it'd be? after all, wouldn't it be nice?" but i know for a fact if i entertain thoughts like that i'm going to A. spiral back into obsessiveness and become a really shitty partner and qpp or B. panic over the idea of becoming that way, and then suffer because i will become convinced that i am Evil and a Really Shitty Partner And QPP
#➳ the fool speaks#ask to tag#i used to look at ya.n stuff but it always just made me feel lonelier and worse#i have my world. i have people i care about greatly. but i really do love them - and being overly possessive and manipulating others and#only wanting them to be Happy With You And Only You is not love. y'know? that's how i see it at least#i don't need my brain absorbing info that is like ''your beloved should ONLY!!! ever talk to YOU!!!! and should reply to every msg 2#seconds after you send it otherwise they don't love you and you need to carve their name into your chest to prove that YOU love THEM so#they don't LEAVE YOU !!!! ^_^'' . because that's basically the message on there yk. i'd like to stay uh. a (vaguely) mentally healthy perso#because it has taken a lot to unfuck my brain and pick out the specks of possessiveness that stem from my experience with abandonment lol#just. augh. do not like seeing ya.n stuff man T_T#and i get obsessive thoughts sometimes but i squash em!! i don't tell anyone bc i feel like for Me that makes them worse. i don't post em
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