#your life is a sitcom lmao

[kyluxtrashpit]

Did you know that the house is a death trap? I know it’s a gated community situation but like, I asked wouldn’t someone chasing you or something when you dress up and ‘go undercover’ to do ‘investigative journalism’ be able to follow you up the trellis?

Especially if they didn’t pay attention to which house you’re running into?

To which she wanted to show me something,

She then proceeded to RIP THE THING FROM THE WALL AND TROW IT INTO THE ROSE BUSHES.

Turns to me and shrugs. Literally says, “oh it’s barely anchored to anything. It’s strong but like, kinda just leans there. It’s like a really fancy ladder”

Bruh. Just when I thought there were no more surprises…

No morals just memes anon would like to elaborate on the strange contraption leading to meme lords balcony. I asked if it was literally designed so she doesn’t have to take the door. NO, it was put up when meme lords mum tried to grow pumpkins for Halloween one year. Yes, VERTICALLY! You can’t make this shit up. The only reason it’s climbable is because it was meant to support much more weight than meme lord. She’s the one who removed the anchor screws on the very top portion because the exact situation I described happened. The guy lived and was actually totally fine after the fact but definitely didn’t try again

LMFAO this is. Truly the exact kind of story that would only come out of the life of chaos you lead. Of course there's a trellis that looks climbable but has been intentionally sabotaged to be entirely not climbable, a situation which did end up actually occuring

Simply amazing

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

if you happen to enjoy any other sitcoms (tgg can be included here), what are your top 5 favs?

If not: top 5 fav TV series in general?

I do enjoy sitcoms in general, yeah! TGG is obviously in the top spot haha (both as a sitcom and as a TV series in general, it's my all-time favourite!!), but that feels a bit like cheating, so have my top 6 sitcoms instead:

The Golden Girls

Derry Girls

Life With Elizabeth

One Day At A Time (2017)

Bewitched (1964)

Casa Vianello

This last one is an Italian sitcom that was really popular when I was a kid, and it's a riot! It's the everyday life of an old married couple who bicker all day and all night but love each other to bits. The main actors were married and very in love in real life too -- to the point that they died within months of one another. They were one of Italy's most beloved famous couples.

Just for kicks (and because I like listing things!), have also my top 5 non-sitcom shows:

Only Murders In The Building

The Good Place

Good Omens

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Boris

This last one is Italian as well! It's a very funny satire show that pokes fun at Italian TV networks. Extremely quotable.

Thank you for the question!! You made me realize I should rewatch a few of these, haha!

[Ask me my Top 5 anything]

[vvelegrin]

man it just feels kind of... i don't know. mean that with everything lately we're adding mystery joint pain, most persistently in my hands, to the pile.

like come on. come on. i can't even have this?!

[faillen]

.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hey!!

could i maybe get a roommate fic where carmy’s getting ridden and about to come and has no filter so it slips out that he loves her

Baby, Please.

it’s been on the tip of his tongue for too long. it was only a matter of time.

roommate!carmen berzatto x female reader

warnings - smut. cursing. carmy’s a bit pathetic at some points in this (you’re welcome)

word count - 2.4k

authors note - ah shit, here we go again. I always end writing carmy as a little bitch in these, sorry lmao (i’m not). but here it is!! a love confession!! will they ever talk about anything, I hear you ask? we’ll see…

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

series masterlist. masterlist. inbox.

Carmen automatically smiles when he hears your keys clinking against the lock in the front door.

As soon as he clocks it, he rolls his eyes at himself. You’re not supposed to get butterflies in your stomach when your roommate comes home on a random Thursday evening.

And yet here he is, sitting on the couch, trying to play it cool - as if he hasn’t been waiting for your return for the last hour and a half.

You’re usually back from work before he is, and suddenly he’s grateful for it. He couldn’t do this everyday. Sitting, waiting for you to come home as if you’ve been gone for months rather than nine or so hours. The apartment feels a little bigger, a little colder without you in it. Carmy wonders how he lived here for so long without you.

You swing the door open, kicking off your shoes instantly. Throwing your bag onto the counter, you take in the sight of your home. It’s clean, tidied, more organised than you’ve seen it in a while. Carmy’s been putting the work in while you’ve been gone.

“What happened, Carmen? Are you okay?”

“W-what?”

“Were you stress cleaning?”

He laughs, all full and warm.

“No, babe. Just regular cleaning.”

He rises from the couch, coming over to press a kiss into your cheek before slipping your jacket off your shoulders and hanging it up behind you.

“Carmen, what’s that smell?”

“Tomato and basil slow baked rigatoni. Homemade garlic bread. And then, if you have any room left… my homemade snickerdoodles.”

“Did you… cook for me?”

“Yes I did, baby. It’s the least I can do after you’ve been at work all day.”

It’s all so domestic, so thoughtful, so heartfelt, that you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. You step forward into his space, looping your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips. He grins at you when you pull away.

“What was that for?”

“A thank you,” you whisper, kissing him again. “I really won the roommate lottery, huh?”

“We both did,” he chuckles, covering your face in kisses while you squirm in his arms.

Eventually, he lets you go, but not before raking his eyes up and down your figure very slowly. He takes you in - your work clothes, the way your hair is falling out slightly, your bare feet. As much as you want to let him devour you, you’re starving. A different kind of hunger to his.

“Dinner first. That after.”

“What after?” he plays coy, trying to fight the smirk off his face.

“Don’t play dumb, Berzatto. It’s not a good look on you.”

With that, you leave the kitchen to get changed, laughing as you go.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You sink further into Carmy’s side on the couch, trying desperately to pay attention to the vintage sitcom that’s playing on the TV.

All you can focus on are the rough fingertips tracing patterns on the bare skin of your thigh. They keep getting higher, brushing the seam of your pyjama shorts occasionally. Every so often, Carmy leans in to press a kiss onto your temple, into your hair, behind your ear. You rest your head on his chest, soothed by the steady beat of his heart.

“That was the best meal I’ve had in a long time, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I could eat that pasta every day for the rest of my life and die a happy woman.”

Carmy laughs, and the sound rumbles through both of you.

“I don’t cook for you often enough.”

You sit up, then, turning in your seat to look him in the eyes.

“Carmen. You cook for me almost every day.”

“Yeah, but… not really.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Most of the time when I’m cooking at home, I’m trying a new recipe, or perfecting an old one - for the restaurant. And then we both eat it for dinner. But tonight, I actually picked a recipe I knew you’d love, and made it for you. Because I don’t cook for you often enough.”

You lean in to press a gentle kiss to his lips, smiling as you do it.

“You know I don’t mind either way, right? Whatever you make is always delicious. Except for that weird duck mousse from last week. That was… awful.”

He shoves you playfully, laughing when you topple backwards onto the couch cushions. Climbing onto you, he digs his fingers into your ribs, chuckling as you try to squirm away from him.

“Stop, before I kick you in the stomach or something,” you plead, wrapping your legs around his waist to try and keep him still.

When that doesn’t work, you resort to dirtier tactics. You roll your hips up into his, watching as his face changes when he realises what you’re doing. The tickling stops, replaced by fingertips gripping your sides in a completely different way.

“Fuck,” he murmurs into your neck as he drops his head down. “You know exactly what you’re doing. Minx.”

“Well you wouldn’t stop, so…”

“You’re usually telling me not to stop, honey. ‘Oh, Carmen, don’t stop baby, don’t stop’…”

You laugh as he mocks you, half in disbelief, half in amusement.

“You’re such a dick.”

“You still want me though, huh?”

The atmosphere in the room shifts, tension thickening in the air. Carmy’s eyes go dark as he looks down at you, gaze raking across your face. You nod in response to his question, chewing at your bottom lip.

“You gonna let me thank you for dinner properly, Berzatto?

Who is he to say no to an offer like that?

You tighten your legs around his waist and pull his hips down to yours, flipping you both over on the couch. You settle with your thighs on either side of his, your weight keeping him anchored down to the cushions.

“You look so pretty underneath me,” you whisper, tracing the features of his face with your gentle fingertips. “Pretty, pretty boy.”

Carmy’s hips buck up into yours at the praise.

“You’re so fucking predictable,” you giggle as he groans. “You love this, don’t you?”

“Love what?”

His voice is all strained and breathy already, and you can’t help but laugh.

“Being my bitch.”

He chuckles and rolls his eyes, but his tightening grip on your waist gives him away. You lean in to press your forehead to his, breathing him in for a moment. Carmy tilts his head up to meet your lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth as you whine.

You tangle your fingers into his hair, melding your lips against his. You let him explore your mouth, winding your hips down into him in a steady motion. You lean back to pull his shirt over his head, yours following suit shortly afterwards and ending up in a pile on the floor.

Carmy kisses his way across your chest, nipping and sucking as he goes. You’re way past the don’t leave marks stage. Neither of you care anymore. You rake your nails down his stomach, smirking when he shudders, goosebumps rising across his skin.

You tip forward to bite at the muscle of Carmy’s neck, licking a stripe up his throat as you go. He tastes like his minty shower gel and cinnamon sugar from the snickerdoodles. It’s the perfect combination to make your mouth water.

He tangles his fingers into the waistband of your pyjama shorts, trying to tug them down. You go to stand up to help him, but the whine he lets out stops you in your tracks.

“Don’t go anywhere.”

“Carmen, if you want my pants off, you need to let me stand up.”

“You can do it here.”

He pulls you back down into his lap, ignoring your raised eyebrows. You manage to slip your shorts and panties down one leg, rising awkwardly on the other to try and get them off. You kick them to the floor, chuckling as you settle back over Carmy’s hips.

“Happy now?”

“Very happy,” he mumbles, reattaching his lips to your jaw. “The happiest. Got the prettiest girl in the world naked in my lap right now.”

Heat rises across your chest at the compliment, head ducking down to avoid his eyes.

“Shut up,” you mutter, tugging down the waistband of Carmy’s sweatpants.

You pull them and his boxers off in one fell swoop, dropping them onto the floor. When you take him in your hand, he reaches out and grabs your wrist, looking up at you through thick lashes.

“Wait, baby.”

You freeze instantly, finally meeting his gaze.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong. Just need to get you ready first.”

You shake your head, gentle smile on your face. He’s always thinking about you. Selfless boy.

“I am more than ready, Carmen.”

When he looks at you with skepticism in his eyes, you decide to make a point.

You trail your fingers down your stomach, pulling them through your wetness when you reach it. Sliding a digit inside, you rock your hips, throwing your head back. You can both hear how ready you are, and it makes Carmy groan.

“Oh, fuck.”

He’s whispering in awe, careful not to spook you when you’re so clearly in your own little world. You add another finger, and Carmy has to grip your hips as hard as he can to stop himself from flipping you over and having his way with you.

You remove your fingers and shove them straight into Carmy’s mouth, panting as he laves his tongue around them. You both whine in unison. Always so in sync.

“I’m more than ready,” you whisper into his jaw. “Promise.”

“I believe you,” he croaks, wrecked already. “Please.”

“You’re so pretty when you beg.”

You line him up, sinking down ever so slowly. You want to feel every inch, every ridge, every movement. You don’t want to miss anything.

You both drop your heads back in bliss, chests heaving against each other. You’re adjusting, while Carmy’s trying to get a hold of himself. He doesn’t want it to be over too quickly, but it so easily could be if he isn’t careful. He runs his hands up and down the bare skin of your back, admiring how soft you are.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight,” he says through gritted teeth. “Shit, baby.”

“You feel so good. So big, Carmen. Fuck.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” you can’t help but tease, running your thumb over his bottom lip.

“Talk like that. Fuck.”

“Oh,” you laugh in fake realisation. “You like it a little too much, huh?”

He leans his head forward to rest on your chest, gasping when you lift your hips up to drop them back down. It’s all so slick, so easy. It’s like you’re made for each other, made to fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

You can’t help but want to push him a little further. He’s always so quietly domineering, so seemingly in control, that you love when he allows himself to fray at the edges slightly. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t get you off.

“So you don’t want me to tell you how you’re filling me up just right? That you’re so big, that you feel so fucking good? That I could sit here for hours? That I’ve never had it like this with anyone?”

Carmy’s hips buck up involuntarily, and you chuckle a little cruelly.

“Baby, please.”

“Okay, Carmen. Okay.”

You press a sugary sweet kiss to his lips before settling your hands on his broad shoulders to give yourself some stability. You set a steady rhythm, winding your hips up and gliding them back down with a clear purpose. Your knees ache, and your hips are being held open a little too wide, but you feel delirious with it, high off the pleasure. It’s good. So good.

“Shit, honey. Fuck. S’good, yeah? So good. Keep going, don’t stop.”

You’ve always found his babbling amusing, but right now there’s nothing funny about the way the sound of his voice pushes you undeniably closer and closer to the edge. You never want him to stop talking.

Carmy moves one hand from your hip to between your legs, rubbing soft but intentional circles onto your clit. It sets your nerves alight, whole body buzzing with anticipation.

You keep your rhythm going, even as it’s getting harder and harder to concentrate. You can feel that Carmy’s close, that he’s sitting on a knife’s edge waiting for you. You realise, suddenly, that you want him to come before you. You want to undo him.

You move one hand to tangle in his hair, while the other settles at his throat. You don’t squeeze too hard, just enough to turn his moans into breathy little ah ah ahs.

“Baby, please. Fuck, so close. So good, honey. You’re so good.”

Your grip tightens in his curls, making him groan. Your hips get faster, and so do his fingers on your clit, the pressure more insistent now.

“Fuck, yeah, that’s it, don’t stop baby. Fuck, I love this. I love you. Keep going, so close. Atta girl.”

Your brain is too lost in your actions to register his words. Instead, you press your forehead to his, kissing him gently in contrast to the violent slam of your hips. This juxtaposition seems to be Carmy’s undoing, his grip on your hip tightening so much you hope it’ll bruise.

He emits the most gorgeous moan you’ve ever heard when he comes, which sends you straight over the edge. You tighten like a vice, whole body shuddering with it. Your climax seems to last forever, every single one of your nerves fried and frayed.

You both come down slowly, foreheads pressed together and lungs heaving. You’re panting into his mouth, smoothing out his hair where your fingers have ruffled it. Carmy’s arms wrap around your back, pulling you in so you’re chest to chest as he presses a kiss to your temple. You sit like this for a while, completely at peace in each other’s company.

Eventually, after what could have been hours but was probably minutes, you break the silence.

“So we should probably talk about the I love you, huh?”

@jazminsjaz @buendiabebeta @kingsqueensandvagabonds

[lordprettyflackotara]

forgot about jack || eyeless jack & jeff the killer

tw: smut, 18+, minors dni threesome, double penetration, knife play, freaky demon top, unrealistic sex but what else are you here for be fr

a/n: this may be the silliest plot to a smut i’ve ever written LMAO

“Oh cmon what the fuck is this?!”

Jeff’s voice boomed through out the living room. Jack sat unfazed on the couch, channel surfing on the television. “Something wrong Jeff?” He asked flatly. Jeff was always on one, always mad or triggered about something. It didn’t take a genius to get accustomed to his dramatic antics. Jeff stormed around the couch, blocking Jacks view of the television. He held out a newspaper in his hand.

“New women killers on the rise?! Look at this!” He ordered. His pale finger pointed to an article, Jack quickly gazing over it. He leaned to his right, trying to see the TV past Jeff. “Yes Jeff it is 2024, women can slaughter people just like we do,” Jack replied. He scanned the newspaper again, rolling his non existent eyes. You would’ve thought after him creating Jane and Nina he would’ve gotten a clue. “Nuh uh! They’re not just slaughtering folks EJ. They’re stealing credit for our hard work. Look again!” Jeff exclaimed. He flipped the page, pointing at the headline.

Eyeless Jill is at it again! Farmers lungs stolen!

Jack ripped the newspaper from his hands, rising to his feet. His eyebrows furrowed as he read the article. “What?! Who the actual fuck is Eyeless Jill?” Jack hissed He gripped the newspaper, examining the victims photo. “I took that fuckers kidneys! KIDNEYS! Who the fuck likes lungs? They’re so sour,” He rambled. Jeff crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. “Oh so you only care when it’s your work being stolen. I invented going to sleep,” Jeff grumbled. He couldn’t believe what he was reading.

“We have to do something about this! What kinda sick fuck would spin the narrative? Have they really forgotten about me?” Jack asked, sitting back down on the couch. He felt defeated, forgotten about. Jeff grinned devilishly as he pointed at the author.

“I say we should pay Y/n Y/l/n a little visit, don’t you think so Jacky?”

Both Jack and Jeff stood ominously in the shadows, admiring your house. “This house will look better burned to the ground,” Jeff muttered. He was salty about his article, or in better words, lack of one. Jane had stolen the front cover. “I want to see the bitch first,” Jack grumbled. He led the way, sliding into your living room window. Unlocked. Typical. Your house was further away from town. Jack thought humans were smarter than this. As he walked into your living room he concluded he was wrong.

Your small television played an old sitcom, the laugh track playing in the background as Jeff followed him. Jack signaled for him to check the kitchen, gesturing his head. Jeff stood still. “EJ I don’t think now is the time for a snack,” He whispered. Jack had to restrain himself from face palming. “Check the kitchen you dumbass,” He ordered. Jeff’s eyes narrowed. “Since when do I take orders from you? We-” He began, the blinding light of a flashlight diminishing their debate.

There you stood, a short satin baby blue nightgown barely covering your chest and thighs. Your innocent appearance almost made Jack falter, until he remembered the newspaper article. You didn’t seem to be armed and even if you were, Jack easily towered over you. “Holy shit you guys are real?” You gasped. You were clutching your cross necklace for dear life, the men exchanging looks. “Obviously we’re real! You’re obsessed with replacing us with women!” Jeff said. Jack sighed, yanking the newspaper out of his hoodie. He shoved it in front of you, your eyes bewildered with terror as he towered over you.

“See this? What the fuck is an Eyeless Jill?” He hissed. You skimmed the article, recognizing your own writing. “You do realize you guys are urban legends right? Not celebrities?! I didn’t even think you guys existed,” You argued. Somehow the pale killer without eyelids and eyeless demon didn’t seem to faze you, your temperament hot. “Well we do, we’re right here,” Jeff huffed. He crossed his arms, glaring at you. “So Eyeless Jill and Jane don’t exist then but you guys do?” You asked. Jack glanced at Jeff, who was not so subtly trying to signal him to not reveal Jane’s existence. “Well Jane does exist but that was Jeff’s kill,” Jack said. He smirked under his mask, paying Jeff back for his stupidity.

“Is she with you guys or?” You asked, glancing behind them. Jeff could have ripped a chunk of his hair out from irritation. “No she’s not with us! You should be honored to be in our presence you stupid slut!” Jeff spat. Jack noticed the subtle rubbing of your thighs, but pretended not to. “See right here it says go to sleep on the wall, Jane’s catch phrase is don’t go to sleep you won’t wake up,” Jack explained, pointing to the picture. You murmured an ‘oh’, studying the photograph. “Hello?! EJ stop simping and let’s get on with torching the place,” Jeff bellowed. You looked at Jeff, the pale killer losing his temper. “You guys want to burn down my house?” You questioned.

Jack shrugged, Jeff’s hand flying to his forehead. “It’s not my problem Jane does headlining kills and you don’t,” You argued. Aggressively you went to launch yourself at Jeff, the eyeless demon grabbing you and restraining you. “Oh and by the way i’m not simping. If I was her panties would be on the floor by now,” Jack told him. You thrashed under his grasp, desperate slap Jeff. “Oh please. If she’s going to drop her panties for either of us it would be me,” Jeff argued. Jack set you aside, stepping up to his partner in crime. “You’re always so cocky and i’ll never understand why. You think that pasty dick of yours could ever even compete with mine?” Jack snarled. Jeff gave him a cold smile, “I know it could.”

“Thats not what Jane said,” Jack debated. Jeff’s cockiness fell. “YOU FUCKED JANE?” He questioned. Quietly you slid on top of your kitchen table, your feet dangling as you watched the argument continue. “I did and i’ll go ahead and let you know she told me i’m better than you,” Jack informed him, mockingly patting his shoulder. Jeff let out a dramatic gasp. “We fucked when I was like fifteen that absolutely does not count,” Jeff hissed. Jack crossed his arms. “Oh really? Is there another girl we’ve both fucked that you’d like to ask?” Jack questioned. It was then the boys gaze landed on you, your perky nipples showing through your thin nightgown.

You gulped nervously, watching the two tall killers stride towards you. “You know she is a pretty one,” Jack murmured. He reached his hand out, stroking your jaw with his fingertips. You were practically shaking with fear and arousal. “No reason why we can’t share her, then have her tell us who’s better,” Jeff purred. Jack inhaled deeply, the smell of your arousal flooding his nostrils. He grinned mischievously under his mask. “I think she likes it when we talk about her like she isn’t here,” Jack informed Jeff. You rubbed your thighs together anxiously, looking up at the two men.

The demon brought his thumb to your lower lip, dragging it down slowly. Instinctively you opened your mouth, sucking on his thumb. Jack smirked as Jeff rounded the table, climbing onto it and placing himself behind you. Jack lowered himself to his knees, spreading your thighs. Removing his thumb from your mouth, you shared a look of lust. “Such a tiny little thing,” Jeff snickered. His pale hands explored your chest, sliding the straps of your nightgown down your shoulders and arms. Your breast were exposed to the cool night air, Jeff’s fingertips on them in a flash.

His touch was cold, Jack’s warm. “Why don’t you remove your mask Jacky, let the whore see what she’s letting fuck her?” Jeff asked. Jack slid off his royal blue mask, the demon staring up at him. Oozing black tar dripped from his eye sockets, coating his lower eyes. You shuddered at the sight, Jeff pinching your nipples. You gasped, a smile creeping across Jacks lips. Rows of razor sharp teeth revealed themselves behind his curled lips. “Scared yet?” Jeff taunted, his breath hot against your ear. Jack placed sloppy open mouth kisses to your thighs, his large hands keeping your thighs pried apart.

“Not in the slightest,” You lied boldly. Jeff snickered, sliding his knife out of his pocket. Jack nuzzled himself to your cunt, one of his tongues licking a stripe through the skimpy silk that was your panties. The pale killer brought the blade to your throat, the metal cool against your skin. You swallowed, fear and lust washing over you. “You’re fucking pathetic, letting us play with you. You’re scared now, aren’t you whore?” Jeff huffed. You could feel his boner poke you from behind, the sight of Jacks three black tongues making you shudder in fear. He pulled your panties to the side, watching you intently. He slowly slid one of them into your drenched cunt, another one toying with your clit.

You moaned, one of your hands flying to Jacks hair. The blade of the knife pressed against your throat harder, causing you to squeal. “Answer me bitch, you’re scared aren’t you?” Jeff hissed. You wanted to nod, the knife restricting you. Your hips desperately moved on their own, grinding against Jacks tongues. It was then you felt another one slide inside of you, curling upwards. “Fuck yes, i’m scared, but it feels so good,” You groaned. Jeff brought his knife down to your nipples, using the sharp tip to play with your nipples. Jacks tongues were curling upwards to hit your g spot, a knot forming inside of your stomach.

“Awe really? Does Jacky make you feel good?” Jeff asked tauntingly. He dragged the blade to your other nipple, poking at your sensitive buds. “Y-yes, so fucking good,” You moaned. Your fingers were yanking at his brown curls, your eyes fluttering shut from the pleasure. You were pathetically grinding against his face, your orgasm getting closer and closer. “Awe is someone gonna cum? For two killers? How filthy,” Jeff purred. He nibbled at your earlobe, your sinful noises bouncing off of the walls.

“C-c-cumming!” You stuttered, Jacks one last flick at your clit sending you over the edge. You could feel the thinnest line of blood forming across your neck, your thighs squeezing around Jacks head as you came down from your high. Jack slowly emerged from your cunt, a devious grin spread across his lips. “You taste so fucking good,” He panted. He rose to his feet, admiring your exposed figure. “You’re lucky I want to fuck you, otherwise i’d eat those pretty organs,” Jack purred. The boys rearranged you, Jack laying flat on the kitchen table. Jeff guided you to crawl on top of him, your ass in the air as you positioned yourself on all fours. Jack grinned as you met his gaze.

“With how big I am it’s better that I take your cunt,” Jack explained. You whimpered as you heard the clinking of both the boys belts. “I-I’ve never-” You stuttered, shaking with nerves. Jeff’s large hands grasped your ass, massaging the skin harshly. “We know doll, we’re making you our personal slut,” Jeff chuckled darkly. Jack guided his cock to your cunt, collecting your slick on his tip. He gave you a small smile. “This may hurt a little bit,” He warned. You grabbed onto his hoodie, your core throbbing in desire as Jack began to push himself into you. A mixture of moans and whines escaped your lips, your eyes screwed shut.

“There you go, you can take it,” Jack purred. He could hear your heartbeat speed up, the sound pleasurable to his ears. You felt Jeff spit on your other puckered hole, your knuckles turning pale from gripping Jack so hard. Once Jack bottomed out you felt Jeff’s finger teasing your other hole. You felt like you were being split in half by Jacks cock alone, the idea of taking Jeff’s unimaginable. “You’re so fucking tight,” Jack growled, his noises sounding animalistic. Jeff shoved a finger inside of your unexplored hole, a gasp being ripped out of your throat. “I’d start fucking her Jacky, she’s gonna be in the world of pain,” Jeff suggested.

Jack began to slowly move, his cock slowly exiting your dripping cunt. “Such a breedable cunt,” Jack muttered. His large hands grabbed the sides of your stomach, his cock returning to your cunt and brushing against your g spot. “Fuck, please go faster fucking please,” You pleaded. Who was Jack to deny you of that? Jack began to fuck you quickly, his hips snapping into yours. Jeff curled his finger inside of your other hole, the pain subsiding as Jack abused your cunt. “Thats a good fucktoy. Just be a babbling begging slut for us,” Jeff snickered. A sharp slap landed on your ass, causing an electric shock to shoot down your spine. Jeff inserted another finger, his patience thinning.

Watching Jack fuck you in front of him was too erotic, his cock twitching with urgency. The pale killer removed his fingers, spitting on your puckered hole again. “This may hurt, a lot,” He warned, smirking to himself as you whimpered. Jeff began pushing himself inside of you, your vision seeing stars. Your vision became spotty, strings of whimpers and moans escaping your lips. Your eyes were screwed shut, Jeff focused on bottoming out. You felt dizzy, a large hand cupping your face. Jacks touch was warm, the demon bringing his lips to yours. The kiss was unexpected, your body beginning to relax as he tenderly kissed you.

“Yeah that’s right, kiss her before I turn her mouth into my personal cum dump,” Jeff grunted. Your walls were spasming around the both of them, your body being pushed to its limits. Your eyes fluttered open, your vision still hazy as you groaned into Jacks mouth. Both of them began moving in unison, opposing the other’s pace. “Holy shit,” You cried. You felt so full, the killers having the time of their lives abusing your holes. “Fuck, you’re coming home with us. I need to breed you. Every fucking day,” Jack grunted. An animalistic growl was boiling in the bottom of his throat, his thrust becoming more intense.

His filthy words only made you clench around him tighter. Your sounds were uncontrollable, your body beginning to shake as they fucked you senseless. “Fuck fuck fuck, feels so- mmph!” You whined. You could feel the cord inside of you tightening again, the boys large hands holding your body up. “Such a pathetic whore. You gonna cum on our dicks?” Jeff taunted. You nuzzled your face into Jacks neck, your thighs violently shaking as you came around his cock. Your walls milking Jack sent him over the edge, his seed painting your inner walls with one final thrust. Jeff reached over, grabbing a handful of your hair and yanking you towards him. He relished in the whimpers of pain that escaped your lips, the killer tugging at the roots of your scalp as he came inside of your other hole.Jeff released your scalp, the three of you panting in unison as you came down from your highs.

\/

You stood in between Jack and Jeff, arms crossed. “Was this absolutely necessary?” You questioned. Jeff was practically bouncing with joy, your beloved farm house now engulfed in flames. You all watched as the flames spread further and further across the building. “I told you it would look better burnt down. I was right,” Jeff gleamed. You frowned, your baby blue nightgown barely covering your exposed skin as a night breeze blew past. “So where exactly am I supposed to go now?” You asked. Jeff carelessly tossed his handful of matches aside, throwing them into the fire. Jack followed suit, tossing his can of gasoline into the large flames.

“Didn’t you hear me? You’re coming home with us. You’ll never forget our names again.”

[alllgator-blood]

your art makes me think of an old cartoon about Funny Sibling Shenanigans[tm] that sometimes punches you in the gut with heartbreaking moments

grAHGARGFLKLK THIS IS PROBABLY GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS SOMEONE TELLS ME AND I THINK ABOUT IT FOREVER AFTERWARDS. IN A GOOD WAY I MEAN. The first time I posted my cotl art, it was on reddit and someone said they wanted me to make a whole cartoon using the designs in the ref sheets I made, I was thinking about it while making that hamburger time video earlier actually.

I don't animate much just because I don't have the software for it (everything I've animated so far has been in paint tool sai + capcut OR gifmaker.me) but in the alternate universe where I picked up animation instead of comics, I would 10000% be working on a pilot for a bishop sitcom/slice of life thing that devolves into unending anguish over the course of a season. So I appreciate you sending this ask cause even if it'll never be a thing I can feasibly make, I'm really happy hearing someone thinks my art would make for a Family Hijinx/Tragedy cartoon

Have this really old sketch from when that "every villainous group looks like this" thing was going around LMAO I feel like it's cartoonish in nature to be relevant here

[justalildumpling]

⇢ apartment 00600 ・ nct 00' liner sitcom

synopsis: knock knock! your favourite debatable group of friends are living on the same floor as you now! all u need to do is hope that they won’t burn the place down, should be easy enough… right?

pairing: nct 00’liners x reader (yangyang centric) genre: social media au, college au, roommates/neighbours au, fluff, crack warnings: swearing, jokes about murder, mentions of alcohol, jokes about demons/supernatural, (tba as the story goes on) status: ongoing started: 7th April 2023 ended: tbd update schedule: none. whenever i feel like it tbh taglist: open! feel free to send an ask or comment to be added :)) ~ @polarisjisung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @ficrecnctskz @rv7hsua @n0hyuck @neosdaisy @baekhyunstruly @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @shwizhies @dearlyminhyung @sungbeam @mosviqu @hyucksdarling @positionslab @luvenshiti @chelzinha26 @jenyoonoh @flowerjun @yixingtion @ahnneyong @shxnz @h06yck @barbkh8450t @heavenly-seraphic @sehunniepot @pastelsicheng @sseastar-main @igotkpoops @culterycollector @ohmygs-blog @strangevante @sundamariis @bythe8 @rum-gone-why @tddyhyck @hiraarri @lovnlemun @spacecumslut @nshimura @mxnhoeuwu @blackswann-53098 @haechansbbg @2baddies-1porsche @crushed-l1ttle-stars @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @ksywoo @90s-belladonna @moon-gyus @daegale @matchalyne @chuutaroo @nanaxwi @wonwootakemyheart

note: no plot, just chaos. there are story arcs tho😄👍 just think of friends but nct ver! fun fact: most of these arcs are probs gonna be based off real scenarios in my life LMAO

⎯ meet the cast! unit 142 | unit 143

SEASON ONE

arc i. exam season ⎯ the one where you failed your exam

ep 1: intrusive thoughts ep 2: the saga of the plastic fork ep 3: dooms day ep 4: strawberry candy ep 5: aftermath of the storm ep 6: homewreckers

arc ii. the fire alarm ⎯ the one with the faulty fire alarm

ep 1: WDYM EVACUATE&$:&;&;?! ep 2: calm ur tits ppl😭 ep 3: stupid ep 4:

arc iii. the unwanted guest ⎯ the one where a certain person from the past comes back

arc iv. drunk shenanigans ⎯ the one where everyone got invited to way too many parties

SEASON TWO

more coming soon...

SEASON THREE

more coming soon...

[doodle-girl]

“HELLO, THERE”

You may not know me, but I certainly know you. You can call me Ragstra. If you're looking for Lankmann, I'm afraid he's not here right now. I put him away for safe keeping. And I'd prefer to have a word with this lovely audience in-person without any interruption.

You see now, this channel doesn't belong to Lankmann anymore, but to me from here on! Lankmann had the bright idea to pull me out of the spotlight and abandon me after he grew to adore that STUPID LITTLE YELLOW GREMLIN! And personally, I disagree with that casting choice. No, in fact I have my own plans for what's going to happen to him and this little channel of his, and you're going to help me craft it. I'd like to put on a little show for all of you, one that will decide your dear sweet Lankmann's fate.

Now mind you all, this little show of mine is still in preparation, so for now I'll continue to let Lankmann make his content under MY script for a little while. Until then, just think of me as his director, carefully puppeting what videos he makes and what his audience does very closely. I'm looking forward to whatever little productions we craft together, and I certainly hope you'll be there when my show is ready. After all, his life may depend on it, heheheee. Goodbye for now, my dolls."

Sooooo in case you didn’t already catch on by their recent post, @corrupteddoodles and I have been cooking a lot recently. Say hello to the Pastra Arg swap au, aka the “Ragstra’s Show AU”!!! Yippee!!! Featuring Corrupted’s own super-cool super-gender ragdoll design of the beloved purple monster, who’s been otherwise dubbed as “Ragstra” (I like to call them Raggy :3). Personally this au may or may not butt heads with my sitcom au obsession lmao.

Bonus meme because this is basically what this au stemmed from lmao:

(Also big kudos to corrupted for helping with some alt text thank you pookie 👍 <3)

[hazelnut-u-out]

Do you think about the whole Rick Prime thing? Did it kinda feel anticlimactic???

Yeeahhhhhh, but... I think that's the point!

At first, I was a little bit disappointed with how they handled the arc. I really thought Prime was going to be the Big Bad! Having the whole climax of C-137's arc with Prime as a mid-season episode felt oddly... dismissive? It was like it wasn't even a major event.

After sitting on this for a bit, I think I actually love how they've handled it. I think this is the first time I've really seen the show take something that perfectly fills a 'Television Run' format (i.e. big events at the ends of the seasons for cliffhangers, and so on) and subvert those expectations into something more like 'Real Life.' In my opinion, a lot of the show is shown as how characters involved view the events, especially in terms of tonality. That's why so much of the show fits these media formulas-- Rick views his life as a show.

I often refer to the majority of the show as 'Rick's Director's Cut' because we get events skewed from his warped perception of his own actions. (You can even think of 'Morty's Mindblowers' as Rick literally editing footage into a better story.) Of course, we see why he's sympathetic. As the viewer, we understand why he's doing what he's doing, even if we don't agree with it. He views himself as the 'sitcom dad'-- comically fucked up and abusive, but secretly caring. Rick believes that he's got just enough heart for his actions to be excusable, forgetting that the people he hides his intentions from aren't getting the 'full picture' like the viewer is. From Morty's perspective, Rick does these things for no reason-- unless you count not liking, caring about, or valuing Morty. Of course, we know that's not the case, but Morty doesn't. His family doesn't.

The Prime arc is fascinating to me because of the contrast between how Rick viewed it versus how it happened from the perspective of the viewer. Rick went into the Prime arc thinking it would be a massive, badass epic where the underdog comes out on top and the audience is satisfied with the conclusion. As the audience, this is probably the first time we haven't really been able to click with that, you know? It was unsatisfying, even for Rick, and now he's sort of saddled with, 'Oh, shit. This is real life. What comes next?'

Sure, they're little guys on our television screens. To them, though... that's real life. Real life is messy. Real life is unsatisfying. Real life is disappointing, the editing is sloppy, arcs aren't linear, and dysfunction and substance abuse aren't silly character traits.

The whole point is: What happens now?

In real life, what happens after your abusive parent passes away or you finally get revenge on the person who tore your life apart? In real life, what happens after you beat the shit out of the guy who assaulted you? Or after your dad apologizes for walking out on you?

There's actually a Malcolm in the Middle scene reminiscent of this concept. Francis was blamed by Lois from the time he was born for ruining their relationship. Throughout the entire series, his arcs deal with their broken relationship. When she finally apologizes, the pinnacle of his hopes and dreams-- the only thing keeping him alive, it doesn't help. It doesn't fix the years of psychological abuse he suffered, or the fact that he's as broken as he is because of her failure as a parent.

Another great example is in Adventure Time, when Finn thinks he's ripped Martin's arm off for causing him to lose his own. The revenge doesn't help. (Sorry, not digging for a link to the scene lmao.)

Those things aren't satisfying on their own. The fantasies and daydreams we barter through aren't feasible cures. That's real life. What happens afterward is what you do next. That can be a tough pill to swallow. There's no quick 'fix-all' for everything that's fucked you up. What helps? Hard work. Dedication. Time. Therapy. Grief. Acceptance.

Rick never really worked through the grieving process, you know?

There was Denial and Anger:

And where he got stuck... Bargaining:

After Prime's death? Depression:

Four decades later, we're finally on the cusp of Acceptance.

That's what that look into the hole was. That's what putting up Morty's picture was. That's what choosing to walk away was.

Acceptance.

In conclusion of my long-winded rant, I liked the Prime arc. Fits nicely into the season after the finality of 'Fear No Mort.'

Well done, writers.

Thanks for asking! <3

[genericaces]

I love how you're making stuff with connor and gunn with Gunn being like the Tara equivalent to the kid. They could have had such a sweet older, responsible and protective brother/aggressive but insecure, little brother dynamic in the show 😞

lol yeah, i always think they had potential to have a friendly relationship since gunn's got a history of working with teens, or at least the potential for gunn to try and reach out to him. i think whether or not connor is receptive to that is a different question lmao, but i feel like there was untapped comedy/drama potential with the awkward fred/gunn/connor family situation between s3 and s4.

in my head there's a cheesy 80s sitcom with all of them around the table going:

fred: so what was your favorite part of the patrol, connor? connor: none of it. i tore apart a vampire with my bare hands and felt nothing. i've spent my entire life trained for murder and vengeance, and i don't know who i am anymore without an active target for my hatred. gunn: haha! don't be such a downer, man, and turn that frown upside down! connor: given the opportunity i would murder everyone at this table including myself. i already sent angel to the bottom of the ocean. is anyone listening to me. fred/gunn: oh, connor! *canned laughter* *the happy days theme plays over an opening montage of the crew violently murdering demons and then turning to the camera and smiling* something like:

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I can't believe my little ask got turned into a meme😭. And her potentially being pregnant?!

Now, indulge with me here; (let's make the situation worse and make it more sitcom-ish, lmao)

She suddenly walks into the house and states that they will be getting married before the baby comes o_O, and she would be so thankful if her father would be there to support her (financially and emotionally...). Engel is all smiles, expressing her concerns that she's a little young to be married, be still says congratulations.

Konig damn near faints. That boy is now going to be his son?!😟

I know those memes were absolutely brilliant right? ❤️❤️❤️ (we're forever in your debt @melancholic-thing 😘) I also got your other ask about König thinking how his daughter is innocent and only got in with the wrong crowd LOL and it's so true.

His daughter is the purest, loveliest, most special baby angel on earth, it is known. She inherited her purity and kindness from her mother, but the world is full of people who want to hurt and use his girls :(

She doesn't know what’s good for her, doesn’t know that men are filthy beasts who are only trying to lure her into their dirty dens with sex, drugs & rock’n’roll. Honestly it makes him want to grab a shotgun and stand watch at her door (lol meanwhile his perfect little babygirl sneaks out the window and into the night with our favorite biker boy...)

And Engel, gosh where do I start with her. Def gives her money behind daddy's back, fully supports her daughter having the time of her life as long as she doesn’t get herself into too much trouble. Tries to do some damage control by warning her if König is about to do a bunk inspection in her room (of course this only lowers the bar for her to want to move in with the delinquent because wtf dad?)

But omg when it turns out she's preggo it's Judgment Day for the boy 💀💀💀

(Things calm down only when Engel talks some "sense" into König: how lovely it is that they are getting married now, think about it! He gets to give away the bride! Walking his princess down the aisle is a dream come true for any father right? 🤍)

[littlespoonevan]

seeing the way some people on the internet desperately try to find the character who was In The Right or the real victim™ in morally ambiguous stories is soooo wild to me lmao what do you mean you're trying to argue which of the main characters in challengers is most at fault???? they're literally all in the wrong and all in the right at different points in the movie. that's the point!!!!! that's why every scene between them is like a tennis match!!!!! because the person with the upperhand is constantly changing!!!! what do you mean you're watching interview with the vampire and trying to decide which of the lying, manipulative vampires who have done terrible things is the Worst Liar????? the point is they're all lying!!!! at different times and about different things!!!! is it manipulation???? is it misremembering???? who knows that's what makes it interesting!!!!! like i totally get that when you're watching sitcoms or teen dramas or whatever being annoyed at or even hating a character is usually an unintended consequence of sloppy writing or a half-assed storyline. but in stories that are supposed to make you have complicated feelings about a character i'm just like askjdfhashd how are you arguing about this instead of just watching in pure fascination as the characters interact??????????? are you not having the time of your Life watching the plot unfolds????? let the story seduce you, my love, it's okay there's no pop quiz at the end

[inklore]

—🍊. 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀𝐔'𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓

this is not a writing challenge, this is just a list of summer au's that have been collecting dust in my google docs that i'm both sick of looking at, and also feel like for those who also really enjoy writing summery fics, could always use more inspiration or ideas for au's or scenario's (even if it's just smutty or fluffy blurbs).

please make note that anyone can use these for any fandom or character. it's literally for everyone, for whatever ship, gender, or verse. no one owns au's and everyone makes them their own and writes differently. so please do with the content below as you wish!!

you don't gotta tag me if you use one but would i love to read your beautiful work? hell yeah so feel free to if ya feel like it.

i separated each into categories + some might have added context or prompts because i have zero self control and like to be extra and add ideas onto things lmao.

hopefully someone finds these fun and helpful, happy writing my loves <3

LOCATION.

beach

ocean

ice cream parlor

lake town

ranch

summer camp

summer school

island

boat

fishing town

resort

the woods

national park

public pool

destination wedding

renaissance fair

lake house

bar

theme park

capecod

italy

winery / vinyards

country club

cruise ship

concert

RELATIONSHIP BASED.

brothers best friend ('unfortunately' spending the summer with your family)

neighbors au

exes back for the summer

bodyguard au (character a has to follow around reader whose some princess/rich girl on a vacation, bonus points if she's supposed to be on lockdown but refuses to stay at the hotel, even more bonus points if her parents sent her on this vacation as a rehabilitation for her bad habits)

best friends dad (you're spending the summer with your bestie and god her dads hot as hell)

mermaid x human

frat boy x good girl (last minute studying together before summer break, or maybe the frat is throwing a big grad party and reader decides to let loose for the first time in forever)

frat boy x sorority girl (it's giving rich hoes who can't stand each other who get caught doing something and have to do community service with each other alllll summerrrrr long, can you think of anything worse?!)

sitcom stars (they're both on some summer love show but fall for each other instead, or you're two celebs supposed to be fake dating on some mtv drama show in palm springs but you actually fall for each other)

park ranger x someone who thought going camping alone would be fun but oh shit i know nothing about the wilderness au

ex-best friends ex (a summer love but put revenge and 'we're only fucking because this friend screwed me over and it'll really show them' au anyone??)

lifeguard x parent au (or you saved my life let me repay you wink wink)

dads best friend

house sitter x house owner (or neighbor, or family member who came home early and wtf are you doing here and who are you?? or even the old i asked the neighbor to watch our house but also my wife wink wink)

babysitter who tags along on vacation with the family au

fake dating (for the summer)

friends to lovers was made for summer au's!!!

superhero x vigilante (nightly meet ups to keep the streets safe)

friends with benefits but only for the summer au

painter x muse

body found on beach x person who found them (+ the added bonus of the two of them working together to figure out wtf happened and how they got there)

sugar baby x sugar whathaveyou (free vacation? hell yeah)

roommates (renting a room for summer what could go wrong)

tour guide / local x tourist

camp counselor x parent of camper

friend group on a drama filled vacay au

the only single people at this resort for couples au

sad housewife x pool boy

DARK THEMED.

cult au

slasher au

hitchhiking gone wrong (or right)

monster au (summer is the perfect time to go exploring for the monster in the woods or the lake, ocean even, obviously)

haunted house au

ghost hunting au

hunter x prey (bonus points if they don't know they're being hunted until it's too late)

safe house au (gone wrong)

kidnapping au (it's giving 365 days but less shitty ok)

stranded au (on an island, in a creepy town, etc)

bestie's trip gone wrong au (the innocent looking guys at the pool who are gorgeous are actually super shitty and deadly omg, or the couple in the hotel room next to us are insane wow, or someone is killing us off...but it's someone within the friend group)

stuck in an abandoned amusement park au

INSPIRED BY.

grease au

dirty dancing au

x au (70s-80s pornstars au + added slasher element if ya wanna make it dark)

daisy jones & the six / rocker au (summer tour anyone?)

the white lotus (cheating au?? a couple hoping a vacation will fix their marriage, maybe even the whole shitty husband leaves you there and you fall for one of the resort workers)

50 first dates au (but make it 'i bet i can make you fall in love with me by the end of summer)

jurassic park au

i know what you did last summer au

friday the 13th au

the final girls au (aka you end up in your favorite movie and have to find your way out with a side of 'oh shit there's my fav character what if i stayed and made them fall in love with me instead', or go full final girls au and you're stuck in a cult horror movie and have to survive the night to get out of it)

outer banks / goonies au

schitt's creek au

romeo and juliet (1996) au

mama mia au (the prequeal tho aka boning a bunch of people and omg i'm pregnant who is the baby daddy tho??)

overboard au

OCCUPATIONS.

naturalist

farmers market vender

dog walker / dog sitter

dive bar singer

surfer

swim instructor

vet

journalist

camp counselor

author

cowboy

undercover pi

contractor

car wash attendant

lifeguard

gardener / landscaper

summer intern

tour guide

tutor

nanny

theme park owner

bartender

house sitter

summer farmhand

golf course caddy

sign-holder

movie theatre worker

uber driver

wedding photographer

hotel receptionist

RANDOM.

heatwave (how ever will we stay cool?)

shipwreck / stranded on an island au

rainstorm / hurricane au (stuck inside oh no what will we do??)

love triangle that shit

matchmaking au

love letters in a bottle au

drunken karaoke

kissing in the rain is top tier

workaholic letting loose au

(illegal) car racing au

road trip au

[lonelylonelyghost]

Re-watch of The Spirealm. Episode 37

Wu Qi, the bestest bff ever. Everyone needs some Wu Qi in their lives! Wu Qi needs some Wu Qi in his life

"Even you want me to send Ruan Nanzhu to his death?"

"Lingling, you have to figure it out. If you don't enter the Door, he'll die. But if you go, he might survive.

It's obvious. The game can't be fixed without Ruan Nanzhu. He must go, no matter what, even if he is doomed. But if you go, with your strength, you two might have a chance to come back. You can make a choice between all the players and him. But he has no choice. He has to sacrifice himself to save others."

"I understand why I was given up and why he hid the truth from me, but I just don't want to accept it. I feel like I'm a fool who can only accept the consequences and understand him."

So what are you afraid of? Losing Ruan Nanzhu? Let me tell you. I'm not afraid of losing you. Because I know that it's the beginning for you to be yourself. That's the point of being your friend, isn't it? I'm going to lose you at the end of this road, I'll still take this farewell trip as a journey. I can accompany you on your last journey, just like what you can do for Ruan Nanzhu. It's a friend's duty, right?"

"I... I'm not sure if I can make it."

"You can. You can do it. Haven't you always wanted to use your game designer skills to change the world? This is the right time. You're saving the world, Lin Qiushi."

I had to take frequent breaks during these last few episodes, to watch those multi-hour long youtube videos talking about terrible straight romance books, because this shit is literally breaking me.

On a brighter note, I love that Yan Balang's situation is becoming worse for him, reflected by how his surroundings become shabbier and shabbier.

He started from owning a whole building to him ending up in a shitty crowded apartment, with debt collectors banging on his door. The interesting thing about him is that he's extremely intelligent and cunning (as we've seen in the 10th Door), but his hubris and greed destroyed everything that he has built before.

He deserves this misery and no glory

🖕

And Xia Jie being in love with that loser. Appropriate punishment, but honestly pretty sad. I might feel bad, but I don't actually

🖕

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

They managed to make everyone here despicable to such an impressive degree

"I'm leaving."

"I have no choice. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to Zaozao and Qianli. But I have enough time to say goodbye to you. I don't want to miss it. So I'll say goodbye to you ahead of time. No matter what, I won't forget you."

😖😖😖😖

Here's Johnny!

Art that kills

Nooo, our favourite fluffy gangster is back!!!

🥹🥹🥹🥹

"Be careful. Not everyone you meet at night is a friend. They could be monsters. Destroy the game. Good luck."

😭😭😭😭

YEY!! I will cheer for his death every time I see it

My girl!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹

And her stricken face when Nanzhu and Qiushi told her that they couldn't stay for long 😭

But the last we see her, she's still smiling

I hate this show

"This is the place where we first met!"

"Welcome to the world of the Doors."

Bondage-Don't-Stop-Murdering

Our kind gays bring all the coolest Door Gods to the yard!

And I like how all three of them are a different type of menacing. Zuozi is a cute girl straight up from a Japanese horror movie, Lady in the Rain is a refined gothic beauty, while Xiao Jiu behaves in this not-exactly-human way (the way she stares here is uncanny), because she's half-beast (I think???). I would both kill and die for them all

Our best boyyyy 🥹🥹🥹🥹

God, what an absolutely incredible thing they did aaaaaa

Sitcom. 2000 episodes. Just them hanging around, discussing home remedies, new fluffy tights, and going to each other's Doors for some hairstyle and fashion advice, killing bad NPCs in the meantime.

I never knew I needed this in my life. I want it. Now.

PLEEEASE🙏🙏🙏🙏

And the way Xiao Jiu chokes on her own hair like a cat lmao

Also her hands are AWESOME

[yonderghostshistories]

I’m gonna do my own lil tag game, this time…..it’s-

……MONTY PYTHON RELATED!

SPECIFICALLY,

How did you (yes, you, the mutual and/or other Tumblr user reading this) get into Monty Python?

To elaborate, what is your Monty Python Fan Origin Story? To further elaborate, how did you become aware of and become a fan of Monty Python? Tag 6 or more (or less, it’s absolutely fine either way!) of your mutuals!

I’ll start first. I first became (properly) aware of Monty Python when I was (and still am) in the Six Idiots/ThemThere Fandom (if you don’t know who the Six Idiots/ThemThere are, they’re a British Comedy Troupe consisting of the following 6 members; Mathew Baynton, Simon Farnaby, Martha Howe-Douglas, Jim Howick, Laurence Rickard and Ben Willbond. They were first originally together in the children’s historical comedy sketch show “Horrible Histories” which ran from 2009 to 2014, and since then have went on to create, write and star in the following projects, such as the fantasy comedy “Yonderland”, the Shakespeare comedy film “Bill” (2015) and the supernatural family BBC sitcom “Ghosts”) and I saw a video compilation on YouTube comparing clips/scenes from various Six Idiots/ThemThere projects and their inspirations from clips/scenes from various Monty Python projects, which really cemented in my head (especially after becoming a Python fan) that the Six Idiots truly are the “Monty Python” of this generation, or at least the Six Idiots are like Gen Z Monty Python (imo that is).

Anyway, starting in 2023, when I was on holiday with my family to see my grandparents in India, I started watching the MP films (specifically Holy Grail (1975) and Life of Brian (1979)) for the first time on my (barely working) laptop when both movies were freely available to watch in their entirety on YouTube (shocking, I know right?). And tbh, they were absolutely HILARIOUS! (Plus it was at this time that I had realised my first actual proper bisexual awakening when especially watching LoB, specifically the scenes where both Brian and Judith were naked, and thankfully my parents weren’t there to witness this absolute monstrosity (to them at least) and I have to say, thanks LoB :))👍🩷💜💙)

Then when I came back home to England, I watched The Meaning of Life (1983) (because pirating it on my nearly battered old laptop was really hard cuz it kept annoyingly pausing at random points in the movie) and so I asked either my mum or brother (I can’t remember exactly lol) to rent the movie MoL on Amazon Prime, and after watching it, I have to say, it was also pretty amazing! I think MoL is my personal favourite movie of the bunch tbh, cuz in a weird, surreally Pythonesque avante garde way, it was very emotional and cathartic (to me at least) and it felt fitting as a finale to Python as a whole (at least at the time).

After that, I became REALLY, like, REALLY into Python, I watched some of the sketches, some clips of the films, I bought some of the merchandise, I watched and bought DVDs of some of the Pythons’ other projects, etc.

My first Python crush was Terry Jones, but now my 2 absolute crushes are now firmly Graham Chapman AND Terry Jones, BUT….my 3-way Python crushes are; Graham Chapman, Terry Jones AND Michael Palin (tho I do love them all tbh as (as my mum says) im a diplomat lmao, so I do love Eric Idle, John Cleese, and Terry Gilliam equally too, but for the latter 3 I’m not as attracted to them as the former 3, if that makes sense?). Also, I absolutely STAN Carol Cleveland, Connie Booth and Neil Innes, THEYRE THE BEST FR AHHHH

Plus being in the MP fandom has genuinely made my life better, as I met some of my most WONDERFUL and LOVELY and KIND mutuals of all time, especially my bestest of ALL online bestie friends, @commonguttersnipe !! (Love you Commie darling <33, and she also makes pretty great MP fanfics imo too :))🫶❤️)

Ok, so uhh…..that’s my Monty Python Fan Origin Story.

I now tag: @commonguttersnipe @thehistoryone @michael-palin-is-the-loml

@knoxoverstreet16 @chapmanzz @vilhjalmr