#a was like your life today was a sitcom episode and it really was cause the a plot was the whole [redacted] scare

[faillen]

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[chemicallywrit]

Audio Drama Sunday!!!

Again this is far from comprehensive because I am a feral podcast monster, but here’s what stuck out to me this week! Mostly spoiler-free, unless you count vibes as spoilers!

🗡️ Cry Havoc! Ask Questions Later managed to have a happy? Ending? Honestly the way it managed to be a hilarious historical sitcom with an ending that chilling was MASTERFUL. Great job writers, y’all are fantastic. It is obviously not absolutely true to what we know about Roman history, but it is true to the spirit of it in a way that’s really satisfying for me personally.

🦀 @thesiltverses oh MAN. The way this story says again and again that you cannot earn your way out of being trampled by a system that doesn’t care about you hits every. Single. Time. And what are you going to do, try to remake that system? There are always going to be people who can’t handle that and fight against you, to their own detriment. This story is fantastical and exaggerated, but it’s always so real at the same time.

👁️ @hellofromthehallowoods is trying to kill me, straight up. I have no idea what Halloween will bring for this show and i’m dying. It’s very difficult to predict storylines on Hallowoods and that’s something I love about it. Will this pair break up? Will this pair die for their cause? Will this pair find each other again, even through death? Shoutout to the great guests this episode, I always enjoy seeing who Mx Wellman invites into the world.

🔎 @knovesstorytelling okay look, y’all, I have never read Northanger Abbey, so I don’t know why Kit’s being told to pack her bags and get out, and I am so UPSET. What’s going on????

📉 Within the Wires is back!! And my WORD, the juxtaposition of this season being motivational tapes while listening to the current season of The Dream about life coaches?? I am transfixed and horrified, let’s GO.

🎟️ @longcatmedia Mockery Manor. I love these clowns so much. I love that Bette is really smart and really dumb at the same time. Everyone’s acting is top notch, but I’m especially a fan of Karim Kronfli in this show. Everyone knows he’s got the range, but it’s so fun listening to him be this fussy little guy.

👻 One of the shows I’ve been catching up on is Ghosts in the Burbs, a deceptively spooky and delightfully witty single-narrator ghost show. I’m listening through the Lilith arc and….woof. WOOF. I know how it ends and it’s still terrifying.

🩸 IT’S HEMOPHOBIA DAY, omg, everyone please check out Hemophobia, I am so excited for Hemophobia. It’s sitting in my queue staring at me with that creepy-ass logo art. I’ve talked with CSW about this show and heard the trailer—religious trauma horror with amazing sound design and an amazing cast??? You kidding???? I am drooling over here. Join me, won’t you?

🧟‍♀️ This week is also the premier of The Dead! As soon as that feed appears I’ll be putting it everywhere, and I’m so excited to show everyone the first series. You’ve heard of snakes on a plane….

💐 On my end, as Re: Dracula continues its march to the finale, this week I find myself recording Inn Between and The Dead. I am still trying to make rent ahead of my new job’s first paycheck, so if you liked this post or the other things I do, would you consider sending me a ko-fi?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I will be listening to Hemophobia very quietly and very scared by myself in the dark. Until next week!

[flurrin]

Just in general (because I don't know your mom), here are all my personal top anime recommendations:

Princess Tutu (2002) is a meta exploration of fairy tales and storytellers through the lens of a magical girl whose true form isn't the ballet student she poses as by day--she's just a duck. The seemingly simple story gets incredibly deep and dark as a deconstruction of the themes often found in fairy tales, but never to the point of despair or dissatisfaction. The animation style hearkens back to Osamu Tezuka's shoujo work, the soundtrack is nearly all classical ballet pieces, it's genuinely a work of art, if you've never heard of it, give it a try today, it WILL surprise you.

As prev mentioned, Mushi-shi (2005, 2014) is an atmospheric, episodic, dreamy show that dips into many genres such as romance, horror, and slice-of-life under the lens of speculative biology. It makes up little creatures that cause every day experiences and legends and draws you into how these creatures fit into that world. Highly recommended and brutally underrated. I believe only the first season was ever dubbed into English, sadly, because season 2 is even more amazing.

Summer Wars (2009) is one of my favorite films, period: a boy gets asked by a classmate to attend a celebration for her enormous extended family and is tricked into playing her boyfriend during the trip...and then his account on a Google/Disney/Amazon monopolistic website's security is compromised, and dangerous hacks begin to upturn not just the internet, but the lives of the real people whose information is stored in those accounts! Now he's doing damage control while balancing the precariousness of complicated relations with a family that has so readily accepted him into its vast herd. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will warm your heart.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (2009) is another classic. The pacing suffers due to adaptive conflicts with the original series, but once you get used to the breakneck pace at the very beginning, it's a riveting, violent fantasy series about sin, consequence, and love for humanity. The disabled main character's flaws drive and revolve around a gripping plot chock with twists and conspiracies. It infamously does NOT pull its gut punches, but balances them out well with comedy, charm, and beautiful, bright animation.

Steins;Gate (2011) is, in my opinion, the sci-fi series about time-travel. Populated by a cast of unforgettable losers, the series flaunts summery, dream-like visuals and a haunting soundtrack. The lead accidentally invents a time machine and hilarious hijinks ensue...and then he is hounded by the not-so-hilarious consequences. What was once a sitcom becomes a deadly game of timeloop what-ifs as he struggles to undo the damage of his own meddling. Trigger warnings for domestic violence, murder, and suicide. (True for all of my recs, but especially this one: watch it dubbed, the acting, writing and localization is fantastic.) (Also, additional, important separate trigger warning for transphobia in the portrayal of a transgender lead character. It was certainly making an attempt to be progressive in its time, but falls prey to old ideas of gender essentialism. It can be read somewhat favorably but this is generous, bring your own salt.)

If slice of life is more what interests you in anime, Silver Spoon (2013) is a coming-of-age story about a boy who decides to go to an agricultural high school to relieve parental pressures, and slowly falls in love with the world of sustainable farming. By the same author as Fullmetal Alchemist, Silver Spoon knows just as well how to balance dramatic moments with uplifting comedy.

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! (2020) is one of the best anime of the past few years in my opinion, really explores the medium of anime itself and has actual "cute girls doing cute things" taken seriously as human beings (and more importantly, Weird Artists) without the shitty fanservice. The animation is INCREDIBLE, pouring time into the sequences that will really ignite your interest in how these shows are made. (If you enjoy Eizouken, I can also recommend Shirobako (2014), which is about how anime is produced company wide. It's nowhere near as much of a labor of love but still has many excellent messages about creating art and balancing work. It goes into project managing, animation itself, 3D work, voice work, and many other small but vital aspects and makes them a natural part of the conflicts. There are also very specially produced animation sequences in Shirobako that are a treat to experience and make the fake show the characters are creating come alive.)

Everyone is going to mention Delicious in Dungeon (2024) because it's currently airing and pertinent, but let me recommend it because it's a breath of fresh fucking air in the somewhat stale "anime fantasy" genre. It's a dramedy that takes its world and characters seriously but puts them in fun, absurd situations that challenge their characteristics. If you liked Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, it's a must-watch. If you like fantasy ecosystems, it's a must-watch. If you like characters who are just extremely passionate about niche interests, it's a must-watch.

I keep anime at an arm's length most of the time because I've been supremely let down by the industry's...common pitfalls, which is one reason most of these recommendations are safe for work/PG at worst (sans Steins;Gate and Brotherhood). But these are highly curated and I second all the recommendations in OP's post as well (Satoshi Kon's work especially, his movies were very adult and played into many different genres and all are worth experiencing) except for Frieren and Tatami Galaxy just because I've never seen those.

Enjoy!

my mom asked me for anime recommendations as someone who has never really thought about the medium and im trying to conjure up some examples that wouldnt be fucking embarrassing.

here's what i got so far:

Spirited Away

My Neighbor Totoro

Kiki's Delivery Service

A Silent Voice

Tokyo Godfathers

Perfect Blue

Paprika

Ghost in the Shell

Cowboy Bebop

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Tatami Galaxy

any others?

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x10 thoughts

GOOD GOD.

“No Weddings and a Funeral” is like being hungover but also coming out of a hangover. Having a terrible cold but also feeling better and appreciating every breath that comes through your nose. Embarking on an organizational project and accidentally falling into a photo album and crying about the pictures and organizing almost nothing tangible but making a few things more clear in your brain.

So much of this episode is about the AWFUL POINTLESSNESS OF DECORUM. How loud is too loud when you’re drinking stolen wine and shrieking about sex in a church right before your father’s funeral? How should you feel--thirty years later, as an accommodating, anger-averse person--about having been too angry to attend the funeral for your father who killed himself? What expression should you make when you show up really late to a different funeral? Why must you wear uncomfortable shoes just because someone died? What happens in your mind between standing up to give a eulogy for a man you’re still angry with and choosing to Rick Roll your mom and everyone else as an act of complicated love, humiliatingly incomplete until someone else starts to sing? Should you worry about your therapist seeing your normally tidy flat in a full-on state of depression mess? Is it okay to be offended that your boyfriend is so uncomfortable about death that he can’t stop making morbid jokes? Should you care about other people caring that you’re crunching an apple in church or squealing with joy to be reunited with a friend you’ve not seen in awhile? Are you obligated to explain your behavior if your kid doesn’t understand how you could stay with someone unfaithful? How far behind the counter should you sink when your [undefined relationship person]’s mother has just let you know she can see your dick through your underwear? Is a funeral reception an okay place to find a hookup? Is a funeral reception a decent spot for a break-up? Is a funeral reception a good time for a love confession when you know the person you’re confessing to is happy with someone else? And who do you make eye contact with when you can’t look directly at the person asking you if you’re okay when there’s so, so much about you she doesn’t know yet? Even if--for this tiny little moment within a vast swath of many okay and not-okay moments--you’re honest when you tell her that you are?

I fucking adored this episode because it answers all these questions very simply: Show up. Show up for yourself. Show up for your friends. Try not to harm yourself. Try not to harm your friends.

I love that this episode is about the messiness of adulthood and the things we bring with us from childhood and that it takes place partially in Rebecca’s childhood bedroom, and in Ted’s childhood memories. Dwelling in those places (whether physically or mentally) isn’t an automatic recipe for regression, but it does get everyone closer to the things that made them who they are, to the unresolved and half-buried parts of them that still make them tick today.

Forever obsessed with every single detail about Rebecca’s childhood bedroom.

Forever obsessed with Deborah’s decision to Rick Roll herself every single morning of her life.

Forever obsessed with Rebecca’s decision to Rick Roll her father’s funeral as a way to not have to make up a single word about her father and to do something very vulnerable and kind for herself and her mother and everyone.

Forever obsessed with Ted’s decision to Rick Roll Rebecca Rick Rolling her father’s funeral.

Forever obsessed with an entire found family backing it up.

I love that it is Isaac’s leadership that ensures every single member of the team attends the service for Paul.

I am very, very interested in Jamie’s love confession to Keeley because I do think it will spark some reflection in Keeley but I do not think it’ll go the cliched love triangle route.

Each scene with Rebecca and Sam struck (for me, a human being sharing a subjective perspective on the internet) the tender-awkward-beautiful-stressful chord I was hoping it would. I think it’s wonderful that Sam is honest with Rebecca about how difficult it is to keep their relationship a secret, and I love that Rebecca has a million mostly-unarticulated reasons for why she’d much prefer the secret to continue. I like that Sassy, Keeley, and Nora respond to the revelation as friends; they might be tempering their judgments in part because they’ve all gathered to bury Rebecca’s dad, but I don’t think their reactions would’ve been that different even on a happier occasion.

While there are a million and one different reasons why a continued relationship between Rebecca and Sam could cause serious ethical problems, I really love that when people share big news on this show, the people who care about them generally react by trying to see why the person is doing what they’re doing. Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also hold each other accountable, but in my book it’s OK that Keeley’s first reaction was to feel happy that her friend is having some fun.

Also everyone has been making weird judgment calls this season, and this episode felt like a moment of real breakthroughs in terms of people telling the truth about things that happened to them and leaving themselves open to honest responses from others.

September 13, 1991. It’s so tenderly, beautifully, overwhelmingly meaningful that there’s still so much Ted and Rebecca don’t know about the things they have in common in these parallel lives they’re leading. The scene between Sarah Niles and Jason Sudeikis is so beautifully acted, and so is the scene between Hannah Waddingham and Harriet Walter. The way they intertwine to communicate that Ted and Rebecca basically lost the ability to trust their fathers simultaneously, from an ocean away? In the hands of lesser storytellers, it would feel too perfect a mirroring, but here it feels heartbreakingly imperfect. All the things they still don’t know. All the questions they try to ask each other. All the things they don’t dare ask yet. And then the storytellers are holding a candle up to all of it and letting the audience bask in the glow of this connection even if Ted and Rebecca can’t fully understand it yet.

I am so proud that Rebecca and Deborah were able to embark on the beginnings of a conversation about the ways Deborah and Paul’s relationship might have resembled or not resembled Rebecca and Rupert’s. It feels possible that they could get to a point where Rebecca truly internalizes her mother’s pride that she broke a cycle by leaving Rupert, and could maybe even understand why her mother made the choices she made. I love that in the final scene, they’re still relying on their old mother-daughter conversational patterns—the frustrations, the snippy shorthand, the passive-aggression. Mothers and daughters!

I am also proud that Ted—albeit via a joke about Sharon charging him for the house call—indicates that he understands the value of Sharon’s work. He’s changed a lot, all in realistic ways for someone who loves learning and really does want to meet people where they are and appreciate them. I’m very moved that instead of putting himself in a real harmful situation by showing up to the funeral on time at any cost, he did what he needed to do to take care of himself and accept care from someone else. And then Sharon’s suggestion that he think about things he loved about his father? And the way he’s able to share a positive memory of Rebecca’s own father at a time when she really needed it? Gosh.

Awkward, undecorous transition from 1991 to present-day incoming...but SASSY! She’s just, like, a whirling dervish of loyal friendship and not giving a fuck and penis size discussions and being casually, delightfully cruel to Rupert, who so deserves it. Rebecca was going on a real face journey when Sassy goes off with Ted at the end, and I’m sort of *eyes emoji* about all of that, but I continue to feel like Sassy is the most imperfectly wonderful friend-from-the-past kind of person and I love everything she and Nora get to do in this episode.

Keeley saying “That baby is whack” might be my favorite line in the episode? Maybe the whole show? Not really but really.

FUCK YOU, RUPERT. Bex and Diane, y’all are fine. And I truly feel for Nate...whatever scheme he’s getting suckered into. Whatever insecurity Rupert is preying on. I want Nate to go to therapy, too.

I feel like it was an unpopular opinion at the time, but I loved Rebecca’s 2x1 revelation about vulnerability and fear of getting hurt and needing to let someone love her. Sassy doesn’t always word things in the most nuanced way, but I think there’s a real possibility that she did ask Rebecca to really consider what it means to feel either safe or unsafe with a person but to know that in either circumstance, that person could end up causing her pain. Standing in that closet with Sam, managing to make it clear that she’s not asking for a break because she knows he will hurt her but because she has to figure out how to be with a wonderful person who could cause her pain...the growth, man. Makes me emotional.

I emerged from this episode feeling, of course, stunned by all the amazing parallels and revelations and beautiful acting and Rick Rolls and just, everything. I also emerged feeling sad/raw/tender because messiness and decorum and growth and coping mechanisms and death and dramatic irony and not knowing things about people and not knowing what you don’t know...it’s a sad, raw, tender place to be.

To quote a guy who got a whole sitcom (lol) named after him, life is real hard.

[vintagegoddess12]

The Ever After (3)

Relationship: Agatha Harkness x Reader

Summary: Agatha is getting thirsty for the reader.

Requested by: @adorkwithaplan

The 50s

The 60s

The 70s

Agatha was irritated, to say the least.

First, she can’t find a window to approach the Vision residence because of their instant pregnancy. Her synthezoid husband has been beside Wanda since the baby bump appeared. Second, she can’t…uhm...she can’t - she can’t even talk about it.

Seeing you made her revisit her feelings about you, the wonderful four years you two had. She can remember you bumping into her in the chicken aisle in the grocery. You were rushing and crashed into her cart. All your attention is placed on the chicken meat near her.

“Sorry,” you frantically reached for the pre-packed set of chicken, “I just really love myself some breasts.”

Agatha, taking in the view, was immediately in a playful mood. “I’m more of a leg person.”

You paused and looked at her for the first time. You can see her eyeing you hungrily, causing a blush to form on your cheek. You were only wearing your shorts and T-shirt, not exactly revealing but you feel so exposed under her gaze. Agatha didn’t need to read your mind to know you were hooked.

“I meant the chicken.”

The woman scanned you from head to toe, making you hold your breath, then replied, “I can’t say the same about the legs.”

You tried to hide your attraction with nervous laughter, which made Agatha more engaged.

“I’m really sorry. I was rushing too much. Were you hurt?”

“I’m not but I will be if you don’t invite me to taste those breasts.” She pointed her lips towards the meat still on your hands but you felt warmth spreading across your chest.

Still flustered with the conversation you replied, “you mean the chicken, right?”

Agathe stepped closer and you gulped in response, centering yourself. “I’m not really picky.”

Trying to reel yourself in, you breathily replied, “you’re very forward, aren’t you?”

“You would be if you’re seeing what I’m seeing.”

Back in Westview, Agatha can be seen smiling while reading her spellbooks. Meeting you was one of the highlights of her long life. It didn’t take long for her to reveal her true nature to you. While she was fearing you might leave her, you simply asked if she had ever thought about hurting you. The answer was of course no. You pulled her into a searing kiss. Long. Hard. Sweet. It comes with a promise that you are hers, no matter what she is.

Agatha had to put down her spellbook. This time it was her who has to center herself. The image of your lips on hers is sending heat straight to her core. She can remember how you would moan and writhe underneath her, begging to let you-

This is the second thing she can’t talk about.

Every time she sees you in this sitcom world, she can’t help but imagine you under her. That black lace dress, she can see herself taking it off of you. Kissing your shoulders while she removes it slowly. The real-life you would be aching, burning with need for her, moaning her name. When you were at the talent show, it took all her strength not to drag her fingers across your thighs under the table, wondering if it still feels the same after six years.

The witch’s hands traveled down her body, as she adjusted her position in the chair. She sat forward, leaning in the backrest, conjured a picture of you in her head while her finger grazed the sensitive bud below. The shocks it sent caused her to release a moan. Thank heavens she’s alone in the basement. She kept making circling motions, making her lose herself in the feeling and image of you. Blushing [y/n]. Submissive [y/n]. Fucking [y/n].

She was about to come undone when she heard loud knocks coming from her door.

Interrupted once again, she stood up to greet her guest at the door. Sometimes it can be hard playing the nosy neighbor. Earlier that day it was Mrs. Hart, setting up a luncheon. Few mins ago, Dottie was asking about her husband. Rumour has it that Phil practically ran away after his wife asked if her earrings make her look fat. She dismissed both ladies as nicely as she could so she could go back to thinking about you.

The pretending housewife was ready to shoo away her visitor when her eyes landed on a periwinkle pleated dress cinched at the waist. The dress stole her breath away just as much as the wearer. You always look amazing when you wear shades of her signature color. Or no dress at all.

“Hi, Agnes!” You offered a plate of quiche in her face.

“[y/n], sweetie, do we have any plans today?” The witch placed a handful of her hair in front of her face, trying to hide her flustered look from her recent activity. ‘

“No,” you pushed the plate again to her and this time she accepted, “I just have a lot of food dropped by the house. Apparently, that’s what you do to a widow. Make her fat.” Agatha snorted, which you found endearing.

“You’re still my sweetie even if you get fat,” she teased. That made you smile.

“That’s a relief. Consider that as my thank you for keeping me company these past few days.” You pointed at the plate on her hand with a bright smile on your face. “I hope you like quiche.”

Still in a flirty mood, your neighbor replied, “I do like something that sounds a lot like quiche.” She then pouted and made a loud kissing sound.

“Oh my god, Agnes! You’re so forward.” You said with a grin.

She stepped aside, “well, want to come inside?” She wouldn’t mind being interrupted if it was you.

Agatha watched you instinctively reach for the gold band on your finger, still bound to a marriage that isn’t even real. And for sure did not satisfy you, the way she could.

“I’ll pass,” you saw the fleeting look of disappointment in her eyes so you continued, “for now. I still have a lot of food to clear out.”

“If you ever need help disposing of them, just holler.”

“I will. There’s a lot of chicken casserole in that house.” You huffed as you placed your hands on your hips, making her see the full view of the dress.

“I do love chicken, dear.”

“I know.” You beamed.

Agatha was about to react when colors around her started glitching.

The episode rewinds.

[notesof-mh]

AHHHH JACKIE THIS WAS SO GOODDDDDD. your writing is unparalleled. and i cant believe wrote 9.3k words?? for me?? in a month?? truly insane <3 and im so sorry this took me so long, ive been busy and also wanted to savor my first read of it

also i feel like i have too many thought to just put them in the tags so im j dumping them here, i hope thats ok

It starts, as it always does with this particular collection of friends, with shenanigans and cahoots. 

honestly i truly love this intro. it gives this fic the feeling that this is just one of many different events the characters experience, like a single episode in a sitcom.

also w wonwoo in the first part i love how nonreactive he is?? like yes the message is anonymous but soonyoung and jun are just telling some stranger abt his love life? and also called him a “huge awkward loser”? but he just seems so resigned lol

“No, this will be good,” Junhui says, plopping down on the edge of Wonwoo’s bed. “Minghao told me that whoever runs the advice column in the school paper is, like, a love guru

also i truly believe that jun and minghao masterminded this whole thing trying to tell y/n that wonwoo was in love w her. and also i think there is too much evidence for this to not have been your intention. truly so tragic then that y/n is dumb and missed all the signs and that soonyoung somehow accidentally finally caused y/n and wonwoo to get together.

bc with all the messages signed by soonyoung and jun, there’s no way hao didn’t either tell them or strongly hint that those messages were guaranteed to be seen by y/n

Friday Free-for-alls, when you field confessions of all types. Dear Cherry, I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been using my roommate’s shampoo this whole semester, and today I found out that our two other roommates have also been using this roommate’s shampoo. He doesn’t suspect a thing.

maybe im remembering wrong, but wasn’t there an interview or something w i think wayv (or maybe another nct unit but pretty sure its them) where they admitted to using each others face soap (?) im probably wrong but is there any chance this was inspired by that?

Choi Seungcheol, fraternity president, football player, gym rat, jock, fuckboy extraordinaire— relationship advice columnist? No, it’s simply not realistic.

i love the concept of Scoups being the original Cherry (like the concept of one of his frat brothers writing in and him responding? but both doing it in secret?? idk i j love the image of it)

also the description of the albino squirrel as a good omen is such a cute and funny little detail to add!

“He’s not that bad,” you find yourself defending your fake boyfriend. “Mingyu is nice, and he’s really tall.”

You blink. Mingyu turns his pout on you now. “Nice and really tall? Are you for real?”

kajdfhjklhdfkjhd nooooo this description of mingyuuuuu. the way she tries to defend him but gives the most underwhelming reasons 😭😭😭

also the way jun immediately left w wonwoo when y/n revealed she was fake dating mingyu? such a good friend!!! we’d all be lucky to have a friend like jun 🥺

A part of you expects to see him in a different light, now that you think you love him, like there’s supposed to be cherubs singing and starlight in his eyes or something, but instead, you just see regular old Wonwoo. Your best friend. 

the realization that y/n loves wonwoo was so soooo well written and i loved this part of it especially. it rlly captures what i like so much abt the friends to lovers trope

“You can ignore him,” Minghao says, passing by with a full bottle of wine in each hand on his way to put them away in the kitchen. “I don’t think you should be giving any love advice when your own love life is a mess,” he sniffs.

i love love love the way you wrote bestie hao in this fic! the (well-deserved) judgement! the attitude! (also since im pretty sure he was masterminding this i love how he essentially gets to see firsthand his plan crashing and burning bc y/n is an idiot)

In retrospect, Mingyu was definitely going to win that Greek God competition, even if Jaehyun from Nu Kapp put up a good fight.

unrelated but you should know i still think abt those comments you made abt Jaehyun’s legs looking like chicken breast for the seoul city photos. you were very right but now i cant stop thinking abt it i checked and those photos were posted over a year ago 😭😭

“Overwatch,” you insist, tugging him towards the door. “Friday night. It’s Wonwoo and Y/N night.”

SHE REMEMBEREDDDDDD!!!!!!

The Wonwoo you know is shy and awkward and doesn’t quite know how to fit himself into social situations. He’s clumsy and absentminded and needs someone to take care of him, to dote on him and give him attention.

The Wonwoo that you know, you’ve known since you were in second grade, standing over the boy you had knocked over with a rubber kickball, staring at him as he sniffled on the woodchips and glared at you through big watery eyes. That day, you decided right then and there that this boy would be yours, and now…

awkejlfilaNj;oboajkdshfj something something -ill take care of you -its rotten work -not to me not if its youakdsjakjsdhkljhghjjkljkagjklahgei m screAMINGGGGG

It’s raw hurt, sharp, painful. His mouth twists and his brows furrow and he looks at you like you’re something to be afraid of. You hate it. You hate that you’re the cause of it, that he’s feeling this, whatever it is, because of you, even though you’re not sure why.

NOOOOOOOOOOO ajksdhfkjh its the way you describe the pain on his faceNOOOOOOOOO

“Go to sleep,” he says flatly. “Tomorrow you’ll wake up and go back to your boyfriend, and you’ll be happy that nothing happened tonight.”

im. in tears.

“You didn’t do anything embarrassing,” he grins, “except for abandoning your boyfriend at the party because you wanted to play Overwatch with me. C’mon, do you want to get brunch?”

noooo and the way the next morning hes still so caring and sweet 🥺🥺. if i were him i would’ve kicked y/n out of my apartment as soon as possible

“Yeah,” Wonwoo replies. His voice is tinny and quiet, but still clear, like he’s slipped his headset off and mic is pushed away. “I’m gaming with Y/N. I’m muted, don’t worry.”

ah yes the classic “im muted” but they’re not accidental confession. truly a favorite of mine

“I’m so glad we’re going to college together, Wonwoo. I want to be with you forever.”

And he had watched you as you said it, quiet, like he was breathless. Like you had said something terrible and incredible at the same time.

It’s always been Wonwoo beside you, lazy summers spent playing video games, late night phone calls where you’d talk and he’d listen, after class in his car listening to the radio and eating junk food. Had he loved you then? With ketchup on your shirt and acne across your face and poorly box-dyed hair? And had you loved him then too? Before you even knew what love is?

AAHAHHLAJHHHHHKAJLHDLAIUWHGLIUHUIHIUWEGUHUIAEGW AGAIN EVIDENCE YOURE SOMEHOW IN MY MIND CAPTURING EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT THIS TROPE AND EXECUTING IT TO PERFECTION!!!!!<333 ekjfhjh its all abt seeing the other at their most ordinary!!! and loving them for it!!!!!

“Wonwoo, I’m going downstairs,” you tell him.

“Wait–” his voice is tight and panicked, but you’re already tugging your headset off and grabbing your keys.

the parallel between earlier when y/n wanted to go down but didn’t after talking abt wonwoo’s crush and at the end when she realizes *she* was the crush?!!! *chefs kiss* (i do love me a good parallel)

“It was dark and I was tired. You didn’t notice that I passed out as soon as we dimmed the lights?” He raises his eyebrows as he defends himself, and you bury your face in your hands.

Click. The pieces are all falling in place.

the way he was sleeping?!!! so comedic and also so much better than the misunderstanding j being that y/n didn’t tell him

they’re idiots but i wouldnt have it any other way. i love when characters are idiots <3

“God,” he gasps between laughs, “we’re both so, so stupid.” And then you’re laughing too.

!!!

akjdfhjhh and the ending was so so so (x120398948949) sweet!

out of the frying pan and into your heart

jeon wonwoo x female reader

tags: college au, fraternities, fake dating, misunderstandings, childhood friends to lovers, this all could have been resolved with some proper communication, lots of pining specifically for em, fluff, rom com, best friend minghao, y/n is oblivious!!!

warnings: alcohol, weed, frats, american college setting

words: 9.3k

synopsis:

it starts, as it always does with this particular collection of friends, with shenanigans and cahoots.

well, more specifically, for wonwoo it starts with shenanigans, when soonyoung and junhui somehow manage to collide brain cells and write in to the school newspaper's love advice columnist about his crush on his childhood best friend.

and for you, the aforementioned childhood best friend and, in secret, also the aforementioned love advice columnist, it starts with cahoots when kim mingyu manages to convince you to fake date him so he can win some popularity contest for his frat.

for @notesof-mh

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It starts, as it always does with this particular collection of friends, with shenanigans and cahoots. 

Well, more specifically, for Wonwoo it starts with shenanigans, when Soonyoung and Junhui somehow manage to collide brain cells. 

He had barely been awake for 15 seconds when they had barged into his room, laptop in hands, just to show him the text in a pink-colored submission box surrounded by heart emojis. Wonwoo squints, the blurry words coming into just enough focus for him to make out what they say. “Dear Cherry, I’m a third year computer science student and I’m in love with my best friend, except I’m— what the hell is this?” 

He glares at Soonyoung who grins cheerfully and points again at the screen. “Read the rest, Wonwoo!”

Wonwoo sighs and continues reading. “Except I’m a huge awkward loser and she’s so cool and pretty, and I don’t know how to tell her I like her. What should I do?”

“Alright, hit send,” Junhui instructs, tilting the laptop away and laughing maniacally. 

Wonwoo pushes his hand across his face, trying his best to wipe away the last vestiges of sleep-addled confusion, and then he realizes what’s happening.

“Wait, you can’t do that,” he tries to protest, but Soonyoung giggles and clicks a button.

“No, this will be good,” Junhui says, plopping down on the edge of Wonwoo’s bed. “Minghao told me that whoever runs the advice column in the school paper is, like, a love guru, and she has four thousand followers on instagram. And she’s never shown her face, but she’s probably also really pretty.”

Wonwoo groans. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

“Just trust us,” Soonyoung pats Wonwoo’s knee through the blanket, “this is a good idea.”

And for you, it starts with kahoots, when your chemistry lab partner, Mingyu, pulls your stool closer to his side and whispers a proposition to you.

“Do you want to be my fake girlfriend?”

You narrow your eyes at him through your fogged up department-issued safety goggles. “Are you insane? What kind of fumes are you on?”

“None,” Mingyu replies. “I’m Sigma’s nominee for the Greek God award at the inter-fraternity tournament this year and I’m the only nominee who’s single.”

“And so I’m your pick,” you respond flatly. 

Mingyu nods eagerly. His safety glasses slide down his nose, and he has to push them back up. “Yeah, you’re so pretty and cool, I think it’d be really impressive if I somehow managed to pull you.”

“Huh.”

“And,” he adds on, lowering his voice even more, “Jeonghan thinks my only real competition this year is going to be Jung Jaehyun from Nu Kappa Tau, and rumor has it you rejected him in high school. Twice. So I think it’d be pretty funny if we ended up together.”

You scoff and turn back toward the titration in front of you. “You can’t go up to people and ask for things like this.”

“C’mon, you know the winner gets free parking for an entire semester,” he whines. “Ok, how’s this? If you’ll pretend to be my girlfriend for the Greek God award, I’ll write our lab reports for the rest of the semester.” 

His offer makes you pause, and he jumps on that pause, wedging his way in there. 

“I’ll give you executive editing power, but I’ll do all the work,” he wheedles, “and I’ll give you a perfect peer eval at the end of the semester. I promise,” he puts a big meaty hand on your lab notebook and smears the ink under his fingers. “Kim Mingyu isn’t a liar.”

“I’ll conveniently ignore the fact that you’re lying about having a girlfriend to win this award, then,” you roll your eyes.

“That’s different, though,” he protests, “the award is dumb and meaningless and I really want it. But a promise made between buddies is important.”

He looks earnest, so you decide to lay off on him just a little. “When we’re fake-dating,” you sigh, “you can’t call us buddies anymore.”

“So that’s a…”

You groan, hating yourself for being so indulgent. “Yes. That’s a yes.”

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“Hold on Y/N, have you seen this?”

“Seen what?” You look over the top of your laptop screen, where you’re halfway through a paper on the Cuban Missile Crisis. 

Minghao, your co-admin of the school newspaper’s (infamous) advice column turns his screen towards you. “Someone wrote in calling themselves a huge awkward loser.”

“Huh,” you grin to yourself as you read over the message quickly. “That’s kind of cute, actually.”

“Of course you think it’s cute,” Minghao rolls his eyes. “I’m going to assign this one over to you.”

“Yeah, sure, but please,” you mutter, “can you be a bit more discreet about it?”

Minghao looks at you over the top of his glasses. “What, about us being Ask Cherry? It’s not as embarrassing as you make it out to be.”

“Be quiet,” you hiss, looking around, “someone could overhear!” You frown, and then quietly, you add on, “and it is embarrassing. I’m supposed to be a journalism major, and I’m here making up horoscopes and giving fake relationship advice three days a week.”

This is an overstatement, and Minghao rolls his eyes. You only make up horoscopes and give fake relationship advice one day a week (Mondays are for Matters Of The Heart, your schedule says). There’s also Am I The Asshole Wednesdays, a campus favorite, and Friday Free-for-alls, when you field confessions of all types. Dear Cherry, I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been using my roommate’s shampoo this whole semester, and today I found out that our two other roommates have also been using this roommate’s shampoo. He doesn’t suspect a thing. 

You hadn’t meant to end up in this position. You write serious pieces for the school newspaper too, reporting on the Student Government’s legislative sessions and the university’s semesterly budget for grants to culturally-centered student organizations. Those articles, you have your name attached to. But at the end of last year, the new editor-in-chief Jeonghan had approached you and convinced (strong-armed) you into becoming the new writer for the infamous advice column, Ask Cherry, since Cherry himself was quitting to make more time for other priorities.

(“And the kicker is,” you had complained to Minghao, “nobody will ever believe me.” Choi Seungcheol, fraternity president, football player, gym rat, jock, fuckboy extraordinaire— relationship advice columnist? No, it’s simply not realistic. 

“I’m sitting on the juiciest piece of gossip to cross my path in my entire life, and I can’t do anything about it,” you say dejectedly.

“Hmm.” Minghao doesn’t even pretend to be interested.)

But, despite your disastrous real-world love life, your clumsily dispensed life advice, and the completely made up horoscopes, Ask Cherry readership skyrocketed under your intrepid watch. Once, you told a reader that the albino squirrel that lives in the tree next to the physics building was a good omen, and the next day, rumor spread that an albino squirrel sighting would grant you an A on your next exam. For weeks after, people would scatter peanuts and pieces of toast by the base of the tree next to the physics building, until campus facilities had to fence the area off because raccoons were starting to show up instead. 

Minghao finding out had been a complete accident, after you had lent him your laptop to print out a paper that was due the next hour, but you had forgotten to minimize the window with your Ask Chrery submissions. Minghao, being someone who loves giving advice, both solicited and unsolicited, naturally joined in on this scheme of yours. 

“Anyways,” you shrug. You look up as Junhui steps into the public study area of the library and scans the tables twice before making eye contact with you, and then waving. “Minghao, did you invite the others over to study with us?”

“Yeah,” Minghao responds, raising an eyebrow at you. “You got a problem with that?”

“No, it’s just—“ you’re about to complain about never being able to focus on your work with the rest of them around, but the words die on your lips when you spot Wonwoo trailing behind Junhui with a bemused expression on his face and a cardboard tray holding bubble teas in his hands. You can’t help the grin that spreads across your face. “Hey guys,” you wave over to them, clearing off the table space next to you to make room for them. 

“I brought you a taro milk tea,” Junhui announces, gesturing behind him, “and a Wonwoo to boot.”

“He made me walk with him because he didn’t know your favorite drink,” Wonwoo explains quietly as he slides the drinks onto the table and takes his seat next to you. “Are you working on that international relations paper?”

“Yeah.” You take your taro milk tea. No ice, 50% sweet, tapioca pearls and grass jelly, just the way you like it. 

“Do you think you’ll be done by Friday?”

“I will be free by then,” you promise him, punctuating your statement by stabbing your boba straw through the film covering the cup. You’d rather suffer through an all nighter on Sunday than miss your regular Friday night gaming sessions with Wonwoo, a tradition the two of you have kept up since both of you were in middle school and still playing Starcraft.

“Anyway,” Junhui leans over the table, resting his chin on top of his interlaced fingers. “I have a funny story.”

You tear your gaze away from Wonwoo. “Hm?”

“So, you know that advice columnist for the school paper? Wonwoo submitted a question the other day. Well, Soonyoung and I did, but for Wonwoo.”

You feel your blood run cold. It’s not that you’re ashamed of running a love advice column, but it’s more that you’re… embarrassed. And you’ve been running it in secret for so long that at this point, you can’t even fathom anyone outside of Minghao knowing. Maybe when you graduate, you’ll do an identity reveal, but you’re not quite there now.

“Can we talk about literally anything else,” Wonwoo grouses, somewhat to your relief. he glares at Junhui, but the effect is somewhat dampened when he lifts his bubble tea to his mouth and loudly slurps up some tapioca pearls.

“Yeah,” you quickly agree, not eager to have your secret identity exposed.

Junhui steamrolls on ahead, however. “So. If you’re reading the column and there’s a question from someone who has a big stupid crush, you know who it’s from.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Wonwoo? A crush?

“Junhui,” Wonwoo groans, digging his fingers into the bridge of his nose, brows furrowed in an expression of exquisite pain. 

Minghao, however, leans forward and lets his glasses slide down his nose. He laces his fingers together. “A crush? On who?”

Junhui and Minghao both turn to stare at Wonwoo, who flushes beet red. 

“Oh, hey guys!”

You feel a heavy arm around your shoulder and turn to see, to your abject horror, Mingyu, who scoots his way onto the bench to squeeze in next to you. “What are you doing here,” you hiss at your oversized interloper, but Mingyu just glances pointedly at the spot two tables down where a bunch of upperclassmen are sitting and chatting. You recognize Choi Seungcheol, the president of Mingyu’s frat, and you sigh and deflate. Fine. A promise is a promise.

You smile weakly at the other three guys sitting at your table. “Surprise,” you say flatly,” Mingyu is my boyfriend now.”

You’re momentarily distracted by a loud honking noise as Junhui narrowly avoids choking on his bubble tea and spraying the table through his nose. 

“Mingyu?!” Minghao sounds simultaneously dismayed and slightly judgemental.

“C’mon, dude,” Mingyu whines, slumping like a kicked puppy. You pat his bicep soothingly. “You don’t have to make it sound that bad.”

Minghao and Junhui share a conspicuous glance. Mingyu isn’t the type of guy you’d usually go for, but you think this reaction is a bit uncalled for. “He’s not that bad,” you find yourself defending your fake boyfriend. “Mingyu is nice, and he’s really tall.”

You blink. Mingyu turns his pout on you now. “Nice and really tall? Are you for real?”

“It’s true,” you scowl at him. “Are you here to study, or did you just come by to get on my nerves?”

“Okay, well,” Junhui interjects sharply, “Wonwoo and I should get going.”

“Wait, but you two just got here,” you attempt to protest, but Wonwoo, who had been quiet this whole time, stands up and slings his backpack over his shoulder.

“I’ll see you later, Y/N,” he says to you, before leaving along with Junhui. 

(It’s not until later, when you’re lounging with Minghao in the living room of your shared apartment, that it hits you, again, but this time with its full weight.

“Wonwoo likes someone,” you say out loud. It’s not a question.

Minghao glances up form his book at you with a frown plastered across his face, his brows creased with irritation. He evaluates you carefully over the silver rims of his glasses, which you know aren’t prescription but are mainly there to make him look elegant and intellectual.

“...yes,” he finally acknowledges.

You frown despite yourself. “I wonder who it is.”

“What does it matter to you,” Minghao scoffs, “you’re dating Mingyu, remember?”

“You can pretend to hate Gyu, but I know you like him better than any of the rest of us.” You really hadn’t been expecting to defend Mingyu twice in a day, but you suppose that’s life as Kim Mingyu’s girlfriend. “And anyways, Wonwoo and I have been friends since we were kids. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me earlier.”

“Yeah, he probably can’t believe it either,” Minghao mutters under his breath so quietly, you almost miss it. Then, in a louder voice, he chides, “don’t think too much about it, yeah? You still have to reply professionally to his advice request. His anonymous advice request.”

“Right,” you sigh dejectedly, frowning at your laptop balanced across your knees. “How do I tell him that he’s not a nerd and a loser without giving away that I know who he is?”

Minghao shrugs. “Maybe tell him to be patient. Or maybe tell him to try to start getting over his crush.”

You consider his suggestion for a moment. It’s appealing, but then the thought of Wonwoo wasting away in his dark bedroom, sighing as he pines over his unrequited love, flashes across your mind. “I just don’t want him to be sad.”)

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“C’mon, he was right on top of you,” Wonwoo complains. You can hear the creaking of his gaming chair in the background, undoubtedly as he rises from his reclined position to gulp down more of whatever energy drink he has in his mini fridge this week. You groan and dig your fingers into the junction between your neck and shoulder, trying with little success to work out the knot that’s developed over this last round of PUBG.

“Wonwoo, that’s the problem, I suck at close range,” you huff in response, “you know I get panicky and forget to turn off auto-fire.”

It’s game night, and you and Wonwoo have been at it for the past two hours. Your paper isn’t done yet, but it can wait. It’s been over a decade since the years when the two of you would spend your summers together playing video games and walking aimlessly around the neighborhood with half-melted popsicles, talking for hours. But even as your social circles diverted from his, it’s always been something of an unspoken agreement that for this, you’d always make time for Wonwoo, and he’d always make time for you.

“Another round?” You and Wonwoo both ask the question at the same time. There’s a pause, and then you’re both laughing. Even over the headset mic, Wonwoo’s laugh is loud and unrestrained. It feels like a secret, a side of Wonwoo that he saves just for you and for Friday nights spent on opposite sides of the monitor.

“So.” You’re still waiting for the next match to start when Wonwoo breaks the comfortable silence. “Mingyu?”

You fidget at the ties of your hoodie. It’s stolen from Wonwoo, and you’ve had it since middle school at least. “Yeah?”

“Interesting choice.”

“What does that mean?”

He makes a casual, noncommittal noise. “I’m just surprised. I didn’t see it coming, and you didn’t tell me about it.”

You open your mouth to tell him that it’s actually all a ruse, to explain the whole situation, but the hard, petulant edge to his voice makes you pause. Wonwoo sounds… upset. But not quite upset. Jealous?

“Wonwoo,” you laugh. Onscreen, the timer counting down to the start of the match appears, and you jam on the space bar to make your character jump over his character’s prone body. “Wonwoo, are you jealous?”

Over your headphones, you hear the sound of his gaming chair squeaking. “I’m not jealous,” he says, in a tone of voice that sounds exactly like Wonwoo when he’s jealous. 

“You are. Where are we landing?” You toggle to the map in the game and zoom in on the path that the plane is taking. The player count in the bottom starts dropping as other players jump out. 

“Blue marker, does that look good to you? There’s a few houses we can loot, and it’s not close to the flight path. If we get bad circle placement, you can shoot me in the foot, if you want. As a treat.”

“Yeah, fine. Lead the way, boss. Anyways, why are you jealous?” You suppress the flutter in your chest. There’s no reason for you to get your hopes up. 

“You’re my friend,” Wonwoo says simply. It feels like a heavy towel being thrown over you. “You used to tell me everything. Mingyu is… fine,” he admits reluctantly. “He’s a good guy. I’m happy for you.”

Your heart clenches. You want to say something soft and sincere, but instead, you return with a jab. “You can’t be upset at me for keeping secrets, Wonwoo. What was Junhui saying about you liking someone?”

“Junhui just says stuff sometimes,” he replies curtly. 

You frown. “Junhui isn’t a liar, though. Who is it?” You ask, despite everything in you telling yourself that you don’t want to know the answer. “Who are they? Maybe I can talk to them for you.”

He laughs humorlessly. “It doesn’t matter. She’s in a relationship with someone else.”

You almost sigh in relief, but you stop yourself just in time. Why are you relieved? “Oh, Wonwoo. That sucks. She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”

Wonwoo makes a noise that tells you he’s shrugging. “She deserves better than me.”

“Hey!” You sit up, straightening your spine in indignation. “Don’t say that. You’re great, Wonwoo. You’re criminally underappreciated. You’re smart and you’re so sincere and kind, and maybe other people don’t acknowledge it, but you’re really funny and interesting.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and the only thing you hear is the game audio as your character collects supplies and clears the building the two of you are in. “Let me know if you find any gun that’s not a pistol, by the way. I have a 2x scope on me.”

“Thank you,” Wonwoo replies. You know he’s not talking about the scope.

Even though the two of you are gaming individually in your own rooms, you want nothing more than to tug off your headphones and go down the two flights of stairs to Wonwoo’s apartment and give him a hug.

“I have an AKM and a bunch of healing items on me,” Wonwoo says, “come to me and you can have whatever you want.”

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It would have been much less embarrassing if you had realized it last week when you were walking to class and Wonwoo had stopped you in the middle of the sidewalk to pluck a fallen leaf from your hair with that stupidly fond expression plastered on his face; or maybe when you accidentally fell asleep in his bed during an afternoon study session and woke up later with your head on his shoulder, legs tangled together, the sound of his soft snoring puffing in your ear, his hand held loosely in yours. Maybe in another life, it would have been one of those soft, romantic moments, like something out of a coming of age anime. But no, because you’re you and your life is the way it is, the moment you realize you’re in love with Wonwoo goes like this:

It’s Sunday, noon already, and you’re in Wonwoo’s shared apartment. Junhui had let you in earlier when you had knocked at their door until your knuckles were sore. When you burst unceremoniously into Wonwoo’s bedroom, he’s still asleep with his glasses on, smudged and crooked, and his phone on his chest. You frown. “Wake up, Wonwoo. Did you fall asleep while watching dramas again?”

Wonwoo jumps slightly and lifts his head, brows furrowing. “Huh?”

“You said you’d go to lunch with me.” You extend your arms and spin to show off your cute, perfectly coordinated outfit, picked out specifically to match the instagram trap you’re going to. You even broke out the eyeliner and glitter eyeshadow to match the cute knit cardigan and wool miniskirt you put on. “What hat should I wear? The fuzzy bucket hat,” you hold up option one, “or the beret,” you hold up option two, looking down at Wonwoo expectantly.

Your best friend groans and collapses back onto the bed, eyes sliding shut. “Um. The beret.”

“Okay great, now get out of bed. Our reservation is soon and you still need to wash your face and get dressed.” You poke at his cheek, which is greasy from sleep and still bears the imprint of his pillow. 

“Can you get Minghao to go with you instead?” He doesn’t bother opening his eyes.

“Nope,” you respond, popping the ‘p’, “he has dance practice.”

“Mingyu?”

“He said he had a textile arts club meeting?” You frown. “I’m not sure what it is, but he’s been crocheting like crazy for it this week.”

“Um,” Wonwoo smacks his hand over his face, clearly trying to think of other options. He forgets, however, that he fell asleep with his glasses on, and ends up jamming the frames against this cheek. “Ow. Ok, what about, uh, Seokmin?”

You pout at him even though he can’t see it. “Wonu,” you whine, sitting down on his bed, “I want to go to lunch with you, though.”

At that, he finally cracks his eyes open. “Why?”

Because, you want to say, I don’t want to do this with anybody other than you. You briefly try to imagine doing this whole thing– dressing up, making a reservation, taking pictures and walking around town, huddling together in a cafe in the afternoon to watch the latest Nintendo Direct together– with anybody else, but you just quite settle on it comfortably. No. It has to be Wonwoo. Because Wonwoo is your best friend, because Wonwoo has always been there for you, because Wonwoo just gets you, better than anybody ever has, and every moment you spend with Wonwoo, you feel your mood lifting and relaxing. Because you trust Wonwoo and he trusts you, and because you know him, and you love him–

You love him.

Oh.

Oh.

You’ll have to process that later. “Because you have a car and you can drive me,” you tell Wonwoo instead, shoving the revelation down to the back of your mind and putting it in a box labeled problems for future me.

“Fine,” Wonwoo acquiesces, sitting up with enormous effort. His hair is still sticking up in all directions, making him look like a big dark dandelion. A part of you expects to see him in a different light, now that you think you love him, like there’s supposed to be cherubs singing and starlight in his eyes or something, but instead, you just see regular old Wonwoo. Your best friend. He doesn’t suddenly look like a vision sent from heaven, he just looks sleepy and crusty and a little greasy.

“Hurry up and brush your teeth,” you tell him, slapping him lightly on his belly and laughing at the resulting ouuff that jerks out of him, “you have morning breath and I can smell it from here.”

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From: kwon.soonyoung@svt.edu To: ask_cherry_svt@gmail.com Re: advice

Dear Cherry, my friend is in love with his childhood friend but she doesn’t love him back :( how do we make her fall in love with him? from anonymous

“Hm,” you sigh out loud, “I wonder if Soonyoung knows that the anonymous signoff is made moot by the fact that he emailed this one in instead of using the anonymous submission box.” You’re draped on the couch with your legs propped all the way up and your laptop on your chest as you scroll through this week’s Am I The Asshole Wednesday submissions.

“You can ignore him,” Minghao says, passing by with a full bottle of wine in each hand on his way to put them away in the kitchen. “I don’t think you should be giving any love advice when your own love life is a mess,” he sniffs. 

“You’re the asshole,” you announce, not looking up from your screen. “That was for you, Minghao.” Clearly, he’s still mad at you after you had revealed the whole Mingyu situation to him a few nights ago. You still remember the blistering look that Minghao had thrown at you, like you’re the dumbest human he’s ever had the supreme displeasure of knowing.

“I guess you don’t want to go to the dance team party with me, then,” your roommate responds smoothly, returning from the kitchen. It’s only 6pm, but Minghao is already dressed in a silk pajama set with a matching robe, lenseless glasses frames perched on the tip of his nose, smelling of strawberry-scented lotion as he pours himself a glass of wine.

You scowl at him.  “Fine. I don’t care.” Turning back to your laptop, you scroll past a few more boring submissions on your hunt for the truly salacious stuff your classmates get up to. “I wonder what Soonyoung is even talking about, though,” you mumble, half to yourself, as you click on the next interesting subject line.

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In retrospect, Mingyu was definitely going to win that Greek God competition, even if Jaehyun from Nu Kapp put up a good fight.

Mingyu’s physique is certainly impressive, and the audience erupted when he won the (shirtless and oiled-up, for some reason) pushup contest, but his clumsiness eventually led him to lose at every other physical challenge. It was his overwhelming victory in the popularity vote and personality contest that got him to first place. It’s probably all because of his unwavering friendliness and his constant need for affirmation manifesting into an overwhelming desire to be helpful, but you like to think that maybe you helped too.

That’s why you’re here, in the kitchen of the Sigma house, absolutely wasted at the celebration party the frat is throwing in honor of Mingyu being crowned the best frat star on campus. Between the blunt that you, Mingyu, Minghao, and Seokmin, another friend in your year, had passed around upstairs, and all the shots that Mingyu had plied you with, you’re feeling weirdly bouncy and giggly and not entirely sure if you’ll remember this the next morning.

“Okay, so,” Mingyu mumbles, pulling you closer as the two of you nestle in a corner, away from whatever is going on at the beer pong table, “we should stage a breakup, right?”

You giggle against the hollow of his throat, arms looped over his shoulders. “Can we make it your fault?”

He whines like a kicked puppy. “Why can’t we make it mutual? Jeonghan would kick my ass.”

“Fine, fine,” you huff, not at all reluctant. “We should give it some time so it’s not suspicious, right?”

“Yeah.” Mingyu nods, accidentally knocking his chin against your forehead. “You’re so smart.”

“Which means I’m still on girlfriend duty tonight,” you conclude.

“Oh, come on.” Mingyu’s hands come down to rest at your waist, his fingertips skimming along the waistband of your skirt, eliciting a shiver from you when you feel his rough, warm skin against yours. “You make it sound like a chore.”

You sigh. Oh well, you could do much worse than Mingyu.

You’re not sure if it’s the weed or the alcohol, or maybe just jealousy at this fake version of yourself that’s happy with a boyfriend and not moping over an unrequited crush on your childhood best friend, but you find it strangely easy to lean up and attach your lips to Mingyu’s, feel the wet heat of his tongue in your mouth. and Mingyu, pliant under your grip as always, kisses you back, going along with it without a second thought.

“No offense,” he pants as he parts from you, “but I don’t think I want to hook up with you.”

You blink at him. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, no,” he clarifies quickly, “you’re a good kisser, I just don’t want things to be weird between us, which I think might happen if we hook up.”

“If fake dating didn’t make things weird, I’m not sure that hooking up would,” you laugh, more of a giggle than anything. You attach your lips to his jaw, pulling him down towards you so you don’t have to crane your neck. 

“And also,” he nudges at the hair behind your ear with his nose, “you’re like, totally wasted right now.”

“You’re not sober either,” you shoot back, accusatory.

“More sober than you,” he shoots back. He’s right, though. His large stature means that he can hold his liquor much better than you. “It wouldn’t be fair,” he pouts, stubborn, “and I’m not a creep.”

“Fine.” You tug lightly at the short hairs on the back of his head. 

“Are… are you okay?”

Mingyu’s question makes you hesitate for a moment. You lean your flushed cheek against the jut of his collarbone. “I’m drunk,” you respond flatly.

“No, not that, you’re just usually not this…” you feel Mingyu gulp, “clingy.”

You wonder if you should tell him about Wonwoo and your stupid pointless crush that’s starting to feel less like a crush every time you’re with him and more like… something deeper. Something frightening, like a yawning chasm, just waiting for you to fall in.

You’re saved the effort of further deliberation, however, when Mingyu suddenly raises his head and interrupts your thoughts. “Hey, isn’t that Wonwoo?”

You lift yourself off of Mingyu’s chest and look behind you. True to his word, it really is Wonwoo, standing by the door, jacket on, looking at you like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Huh, he doesn’t usually come to these,” Mingyu observes, tugging idly at the bottom of your shirt. “I wonder why he’s here.”

You think you know why he’s here, though. Earlier, back upstairs, you had excused yourself to the bathroom to take a quick breather. Through an alcohol and weed induced haze, you had belatedly realized that it’s Friday night, and you’re late.

you: cn you come pick me u you: at sigma wonu: are you ok? i’ll be there in a few you: sry im drunk you: wanna go home w u

Now, staring Wonwoo dead in the eyes, you realize with a jolt that you had never told him why you asked him to pick you up. You peel yourself off your fake boyfriend and stumble, clumsily, towards Wonwoo, trying your best to ignore the way the room spins around you.

“Wonu,” you whine reaching out to him.

He frowns. “Are you okay? What’s happening?”

“I’m drunk,” you tell him.

“I know.” He extends his arm and lets you cling on to him as you stumble into his torso.

“And it’s Friday night,” you look up at him.

“Yes.”

“We’re supposed to be playing Overwatch together.” You give him the best puppy eyes you can muster, and he blinks at you, looking flustered.

“Huh?”

“Overwatch,” you insist, tugging him towards the door. “Friday night. It’s Wonwoo and Y/N night.”

“Is… is this what you called me over here for?”

You nod and begin dragging Wonwoo out by the wrist. 

The cool air outside hits your flushed skin like a wave, like you’re jumping into a pool. Wonwoo is silent and lets you continue to cling onto him as he walks you to where he had parked on the side of the street, directly under a streetlight.

You slide into the passenger seat. Wonwoo hands you a bottle of water, cap already removed for you. “Hydrate,” he orders. 

“Sorry,” you whimper, somewhat pathetically.

He frowns. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I must be so annoying,” you mumble, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.

“No,” Wonwoo reaches out and takes your hand over the center console. “You’re not annoying.”

You watch him as he drives. He’s so handsome, your alcohol-addled mind supplies. 

“You don’t think I’m annoying?”

“Never.”

Wonwoo says it like a promise.

Silence falls over the two of you as he drives through campus, all the way back to the student housing unit that both of you live in. He turns off the engine, leaving a silence that feels even more all-encompassing. He looks over at you, face half hidden in the shadows and half illuminated by the orange lamplight outside. “Is Minghao home?”

“N…no, he’s back at the party.”

“Okay, we’re going back to my apartment, then,” he decides.

You blink. “Huh?” But you’re already stumbling out of his car and spilling onto the sidewalk, all wobbly legs and loose limbs. 

“I’m taking you back to my place,” Wonwoo repeats. “You need someone to watch you and make sure you don’t wander off and get lost in the city,” he explains drily.

“‘M okay,” you whine futilely. It’s especially unconvincing, since you’re still stumbling over your own feet and leaning against him. 

Wonwoo lets you rest your cheek on his shoulder and cling onto him as he lets you into his apartment, gets you a glass of water, and digs up a pack of makeup wipes from out of nowhere and sits you on his bed and starts to get to work. 

A small (very drunk) part of you bristles at the appearance of the makeup wipes, and you try to scowl, even as Wonwoo gently wipes at your smudged eyeliner. “Whose are these? Do you have a lot of girls over here or something?”

“They’re Junhui’s, he uses them,” Wonwoo explains. He dabs at one last spot in the corner of your right eye, then announces, “there, you’re all done.”

You open your eyes to see Wonwoo grinning dopily at you. “You’re cute,” you poke at his cheek, and he laughs quietly. Seokmin used to be afraid of him, he had confessed to you, and you wonder why, because the Wonwoo you know is so soft, so loveable, so goofy and cute. 

The Wonwoo you know is shy and awkward and doesn’t quite know how to fit himself into social situations. He’s clumsy and absentminded and needs someone to take care of him, to dote on him and give him attention.

The Wonwoo that you know, you’ve known since you were in second grade, standing over the boy you had knocked over with a rubber kickball, staring at him as he sniffled on the woodchips and glared at you through big watery eyes. That day, you decided right then and there that this boy would be yours, and now…

“Wonwoo,” you blurt out without thinking, “I’m in love with you.”

His breath catches. Wonwoo pauses, digesting your clumsily delivered confession, and then he makes the most awful expression you have ever seen on him.

It’s raw hurt, sharp, painful. His mouth twists and his brows furrow and he looks at you like you’re something to be afraid of. You hate it. You hate that you’re the cause of it, that he’s feeling this, whatever it is, because of you, even though you’re not sure why.

“Really,” you insist. You reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls away from you. “It’s true. I’m in love with you.”

You hear a sharp intake of breath. “You’re not,” he says. “You’re in love with Mingyu. You’re happy with him.”

“I’m not… I’m not in love with him,” you try to explain, but your liquor-numbed lips are clumsy and you trip over your words. You lean towards him, slanting your face up, because you want to kiss him so badly it’s all you can think of. Wonwoo shoves you back, hard. 

“Don’t,” he bites, voice sharp and tense.

“I’m in love with you,” you repeat, reaching out to him, but he pushes your hand back and steps away. Like he’s afraid of you.

“Don’t do it. You’re drunk.” His voice wavers slightly. “Don’t do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”

You shake your head, but Wonwoo looks at you with so much hurt and confusion in his eyes, you can’t bring yourself to argue. “Wonu,” you whisper, reaching out to rest your fingertips on his wrist, “please don’t cry.”

He takes a long, shuddering breath, eyes closed, and then when he exhales and opens his eyes again, his expression is impassive. Unreadable.

“Go to sleep,” he says flatly. “Tomorrow you’ll wake up and go back to your boyfriend, and you’ll be happy that nothing happened tonight.”

He closes the door to his bedroom, leaving you in the darkness.

(Wonwoo is cold.

He’s always a little cold, but in his haste to escape earlier, he hadn’t gotten a blanket or even changed into sweats before closing the door behind him, and now Wonwoo lays on the couch, his feet hanging over the armrest, staring at the ceiling. 

I’m in love with you, your voice rings in his head. Wonwoo’s cheek still burns where you had gently rested your hand earlier. If he hadn’t known any better, Wonwoo might have believed you and given in to his most guilty, far-off fantasy, the one where you love him back.

But Wonwoo does know better. He saw the way you were draped all over Mingyu at the party, the way you giggled into his neck when Mingyu slipped his fingertips under the him of your shirt. Mingyu is good for you, Wonwoo decides. Like you, Mingyu is bright and out-going, popular, well-liked, good at receiving love and gives it readily in return. 

Wonwoo closes his eyes, tries to push away the memory of your body curled into his, and wills his mind into silence so that maybe he can get some sleep tonight.)

You wake up, nauseous and hung over and feeling not at all rested, in Wonwoo’s bed.

Groaning, you swipe at your face, expecting to see a gloopy mess on your fingers, but your makeup has already been removed. You squint at the dim sunlight streaming in through the closed blinds, and you reach around blindly until your fingers close around your phone. 

There’s a smattering of random social media notifications and updates from group chats, but one notification in particular catches your eye.

wonu: i’m outside wonu: where are you? are you ok? wonu: i’m gonna head inside to look for you

You feel your cheeks flush as the memories come trickling back– your drunk texts, insisting that your best friend picks you up, kissing Mingyu, leaving the party with Wonwoo, clinging on to him like a koala…

Gathering your courage and steeling your woozy stomach, you stumble out of bed and throw open the door, poking your head out. Wonwoo is sprawled across the couch, undoubtedly playing some kind of mobile game, when he looks up at you. His hair is sticking up in every possible direction and his shirt is crumpled. “Hi,” he says, expression impossibly neutral.

“Hi,” you grin, waving lamely. “I feel like shit. I didn’t say anything weird or embarrassing last night, did I?”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “You don’t remember?”

You shake your head. “I remember you picking me up from the frat, I think.”

For a split second, he looks relieved. Then, he puts his phone down and laughs at you. “You didn’t do anything embarrassing,” he grins, “except for abandoning your boyfriend at the party because you wanted to play Overwatch with me. C’mon, do you want to get brunch?”

You press your palms against your throbbing forehead. Your brain hurts, and you’re almost sure you half-remember telling Wonwoo that you’re in love with him, but Wonwoo is looking at you expectantly and you’d like nothing more than some french toast and a hot coffee right now, so you shrug. “Sure, lemme wash up and get changed in my apartment first.”

.

.

.

“Dear Cherry, my friend is hopelessly in love with his childhood best friend, who is currently dating a hot frat dude. Should he just give up? The moping is starting to bum me out and I’m worried my hair is going to fall out. Love, Wen Junhui.”

You wrinkle your nose at the message. “And has anybody ever told Junhui that the whole point of anonymous submissions is defeated when he signs his messages with his full name?”

Minghao looks up from the canvas he’s busy splattering paint on. It’s his semester final project, and you had promised to accompany him in the basement of the fine arts building as he works.

Instead of answering, he looks at you like you’re the densest human he’s ever had the misfortune of meeting. “Maybe he’s not trying to be anonymous. Maybe he’s trying to complain about someone we know.”

You squint at your laptop screen. “Who is this supposed to be about, anyways?”

This time, Minghao actually rolls his eyes at you. “Whatever. Have you broken up with Mingyu yet?”

“Yeah, we broke up two days ago. It was mutual, because Mingyu was genuinely afraid that Jeonghan would kick his ass if we said we broke up with me.”

The two of you had made a whole show of deleting all your carefully staged couple photos off your social media accounts, and then unfollowing and refollowing each other within the span of two days, because as the story goes, you and Mingyu had talked it over and are better as friends than as a couple.

“That’s nice,” Minghao says. He unscrews a jar of turpentine and starts to clean off his brushes. “Maybe you should respond to Junhui’s advice submission.”

You groan. “I’ll just tell him to tell his friend to get over it,” you scowl.

“By the way, what’s wrong with Wonwoo?”

“What do you mean?” You look up. Minghao is now attacking the canvas with a palette knife, carving some dramatic impasto into the paint.

“The last two times all of us hung out together, he’s been all…weird.” Minghao wrinkles his nose. “It’s like he’s some kind of guilty dog. He stares at you when you’re not looking, and then he looks away when you are.”

You chew on your lip, work now long forgotten on your idle laptop. Minghao is right. Wonwoo has been different, but not… different. He’s as unwaveringly weird as always, and he’s been texting you links to youtube cat videos and starting arguments on video game theories as always, but it feels like Wonwoo has been aggressively normal. Like how best friends are supposed to be. Light and easy.

“I don’t know. I feel like he’s been acting weird these days too, but I can’t figure out how.”

“You should talk to him,” Minghao says, like talking to Wonwoo about his feelings is easy or something. Or like talking about your own feelings is easy.  

“Or maybe I shouldn’t,” you sigh. Whatever is going on with Wonwoo, you’re just glad he still wants to hang out with you. You’re not entirely sure what you even did wrong, but you’d be willing to beg on your hands and knees for him to forgive you and to stick by your side. “Whatever. We’re gaming together this Friday, I’ll think about it then, I guess.”

.

.

.

“Wonu, I’m scared,” you whine into the mic. It’s another Friday night and the two of you are playing PUBG again. You’re in the endgame now– the original 100 has been whittled down to just 5 players remaining, including you but not including Wonwoo, who had been killed earlier and is now spectating you in-game like some sort of ghost. 

“Just sit tight,” he instructs. In your mind’s eye, he’s leaning back in his gaming chair, arms crossed as he observes your gameplay. 

“There’s gunshots,” you complain, “North? I think they’re hiding by those rocks. It sounds like they’ve got a good sniper rifle, too.”

“They don’t know you’re there. Just let the other teams fight it out. You have enough ammo?”

You huff. “I have like, twelve shotgun shells.”

“And you have the location advantage. Just sit and wait for now.”

You sigh, aimlessly panning the camera back and forth in your anxiety. “Fine,” you agree, because despite it all, Wonwoo is still better at this game than you are, and because you trust him. 

Seconds pass. The audio of distant gunfire in crisp surround sound keeps you on edge and tense, so that when you hear Soonyoung, one of Wonwoo’s roommates, you nearly jump out of your skin. 

“Hey, are you busy?”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo replies. His voice is tinny and quiet, but still clear, like he’s slipped his headset off and mic is pushed away. “I’m gaming with Y/N. I’m muted, don’t worry.”

You’re about to shout and let him know that he’s not actually muted, but your curiosity gets the better of you when you hear Soonyoung’s next words:

“Right, speaking of Y/N, that reminds me. Did you hear that Y/N and Mingyu broke up?”

“Oh.” There’s a pause, and then you hear Wonwoo ask, “why?”

“Dunno. Mingyu wouldn’t give me any details. He said something lame, like that they’re better off as friends, or something.”

“Oh. When did this happen?”

“I think on Wednesday? At least that’s what Seungkwan told me.”

“Hm.”

“Anyways, isn’t that great? You can finally shoot your shot!”

“Are you insane, Soonyoung? It’s been less than a week!”

“Well, okay, fair. But next week? She didn’t seem too sad about it in class today.”

“That’s because she was in class. And anyways, this doesn’t change anything between us, so I’m not going to do anything either.”

“Are you kidding me? So you’re just going to keep it a secret forever?”

“Yeah. I’ll die before I tell Y/N that I’m in love with her.”

Oh.

You sit at your desk, staring at your monitor but not seeing anything. Very quietly, you press your fingers against your lips, as hard as you can, and feel the blood rushing past your ears. 

“I’m not going to ruin our friendship over nothing,” Wonwoo continues.

“It’s not nothing,” Soonyoung replies with a pout in his voice. “You’ve been in love with her for years. Since high school, at least.”

“She just sees me as a friend, that’s all,” Wonwoo sighs. 

Since high school. He’s loved you since high school.

You remember the way he looked at you after prom when he was dropping you back off at home. You had gone with him because the boy you wanted to ask you, some boring soccer player, had asked your friend instead, and Jaehyun had already asked (and been rejected by you) twice, and nobody else had asked you to be their prom date. And Wonwoo, awkward and quiet as he was, had fully expected to skip prom completely, but three days before you had shown up at his locker after school, desperate because you already had a dress and a group to go with and tickets but no date, practically begging him to go to prom with you. And without even thinking, Wonwoo had agreed.

That night, when he drive you home, you leaned your head against the car door with the windows rolled down and felt the wind on your face. At the end, when he parked his car on the side of the street in front of your childhood home, you looked over at him and told him. “I’m so glad we’re going to college together, Wonwoo. I want to be with you forever.”

And he had watched you as you said it, quiet, like he was breathless. Like you had said something terrible and incredible at the same time. 

It’s always been Wonwoo beside you, lazy summers spent playing video games, late night phone calls where you’d talk and he’d listen, after class in his car listening to the radio and eating junk food. Had he loved you then? With ketchup on your shirt and acne across your face and poorly box-dyed hair? And had you loved him then too? Before you even knew what love is?

The weight of it is heavy, settling in your stomach like a hot stone. It almost hurts, how much you feel.

You’re interrupted by a very loud spate of gunfire piercing your eardrums and making you jump,  shrieking loudly as you’re killed in-game. Onscreen, your bloodied character rolls limply down the hill as “Better luck next time! #2/48” flashes on top of your game stats.

“Aw, second place, so close,” you hear Wonwoo say. Then he pauses. “Wait. Was I not muted just now?”

“Wonwoo, I’m going downstairs,” you tell him.

“Wait–” his voice is tight and panicked, but you’re already tugging your headset off and grabbing your keys.

You nearly avoid tripping over your feet as you run to the stairwell at the end of the hall and fly down the two flights of stairs, to where Wonwoo is. By the time you’re banging at their door, you’re out of breath and flushed. You’re not sure if the pounding of your heart is from the exertion or if it’s from something else. Anxiety, maybe. Fear. Exhilaration.

Wonwoo answers the door. He looks exactly like you’d expect, with his rumpled tee shirt and sweatpants and bare feet, his glasses on and his bangs pushed back with the bunny shower headband you bought for him last year.

“Hi,” you grin breathlessly at him.

“Hi,” he replies.

“Can I come in?”

He takes a deep breath, like he’s steeling his nerves. “Yeah.” He opens the door wider and steps aside to let you in, and you follow Wonwoo to his room.

It’s dimly lit with the rainbow glow of his gaming setup and the ready screen for PUBG still up on one of his monitors. Wonwoo flicks on the overhead light, which throws the room into sharp relief. The sudden brightness makes everything feel more real, somehow. 

You sit on the edge of Wonwoo’s bed and pat the spot net to you, which he takes. “Wonwoo,” you say.

Wonwoo purses his lips. “How much of that did you hear earlier?”

“All of it,” you chew the inside of your cheek, drumming your fingers against the bedspread. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “You can pretend I didn’t say any of that.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Huh?” He stares at you with wide eyes.

“What you said earlier.” You pick at a loose thread poking from the hem of your shirt. “Did you mean it when you said you’re in love with me?”

He hesitates, frowning as a conflicted expression briefly flashes across his face, eyebrows drawing together. 

“Wonwoo?” You call his name gently to get his attention. “I’m in love with you too, Wonwoo.”

“I–what?” Wonwoo looks at you like you’ve brown another head. “But, you...  Mingyu?”

You furrow your brows at him. “Mingyu? Didn’t I tell you? We were just faking so he could win that Greek God competition and get free parking next semester.”

“Wait,” he sputters, “so all of that was fake? You were just pretending to be in a relationship?”

“Yeah. I don’t care about Mingyu, I have feelings for you, Wonwoo.”

“You.” Wonwoo takes a deep breath. “You didn’t tell me.”

“I did!” You widen your eyes, adamant. “At karaoke back in October. You, me, Minghao, and Junhui?” It had been after a particularly grueling set of midterms, and the four of you had gone out for some korean barbeque, followed by boba and an extended noraebang session. While Junhui was crooning to an old Cantonese ballad, you were squished on a couch with Minghao and Wonwoo, and the three of you were talking idly about Junhui’s most recent date.

It’s funny, you remember turning and mumbling to Wonwoo, did I ever tell you that Mingyu and I are faking our whole relationship for clout? But Wonwoo hadn’t responded, so you assumed that he didn’t care. Now, it’s looking more like he didn’t even hear you.

“I was asleep,” Wonwoo states in flat disbelief.

“You were asleep,” you repeat slowly.

“It was dark and I was tired. You didn’t notice that I passed out as soon as we dimmed the lights?” He raises his eyebrows as he defends himself, and you bury your face in your hands.

Click. The pieces are all falling in place.

“Wonwoo. I’m so dumb,” you moan. “I run the Ask Cherry column. All those messages from Junhui and Soonyoung. They were about you, weren’t they?”

“Messages? There were more after the first one?!”

“And they were about you being in love with me,” you recall. “This whole time, I thought you liked someone else. Someone who isn’t me.”

There’s a pause. You can hear the sound of Wonwoo’s PC whirring in the background. And then, Wonwoo starts laughing, choked and quiet at first, and then loud, incredulous, almost.

“God,” he gasps between laughs, “we’re both so, so stupid.” And then you’re laughing too.

In retrospect, it’s all ridiculous, this entire situation. You collapse back onto Wonwoo’s bed and laugh until your ribs hurt, and when you turn your head to the side, there’s Wonwoo laying beside you, glasses askew, grinning.

You giggle and reach out to straighten his glasses. “Hi,” you say to him.

“Hi,” he says back, getting up to lean on one elbow. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

You feel your smile widen so much, your cheeks hurt. “I’m in love with you, Jeon Wonwoo.”

He looks at you with so much fondness, it takes your breath away. It’s the way he’s always looked at you, you realize, since the two of you weren’t much more than a pair of kids.

“So, now what?”

“Hmm.” You pretend to think. “Can you kiss me about it, then?”

Wonwoo nods, and his hair flops over the bunny headband as he moves his head. “Yeah,” he says, “I think I can do that.”

.

.

.

(Afterwards, a lot less changes with your relationship with Wonwoo than you thought. After all, he was your best friend for much, much longer than he’s been your boyfriend. He still sends you cat videos at strange hours of the night, and he still sticks sullenly by your side during social outings. Friday nights are still game nights, of course, but now it’s mostly spent on your shared Stardew Valley co-op or cuddling in bed while playing Pokemon together. 

But one thing that changes is the kisses. You kiss Wonwoo whenever you can, because you have so much love to give him and not enough time in the day to tell him all the ways you love him. You try, though, to tell him every moment you can that he’s the cutest, smartest, sweetest, kindest, funniest boy in the world, and that he’s the best friend and boyfriend you could ever ask for.

Wonwoo has a harder time with his feelings, but you know, even without saying. It’s in the way that his fingers linger over your hand when he drops you off in front of your classroom, and the way he gives you first pick on all the best loot when you’re gaming together. And when it’s really late at night and the two of you are huddled under the blankets together, listening to the way your heartbeats collide, he whispers it too. “I love you.”

And, Minghao finally admits it. “Fine,” he grumbles reluctantly while the two of you are preparing the upcoming edition of Ask Cherry, “maybe you’re qualified to give love advice after all.”)

[darlingpetao3]

House of W (Multiple!Wells x Reader, Chapter 2)

Rating: T

Summary: After having to deal with the deaths of an infinite number of Harrison Wells in the Multiverse, you, a magic-wielding meta, have a breakdown and unwittingly create a happy, fictitious sitcom life with some of your favourite men. In a world of comedy and cameos, can Team Flash and an out-of-town magician break through your powers to save you? And what if you don’t want to be saved...?

Tag List: @fandomdancer @bluesclues-1234 @pinkdiamond1016 @crissymadlock @ensign-tilly @disneyoncerlover815 @marvel-lady10 @thecaptainsgingersnap @noctvrnalmoth @alexxlynn @dontbedumb3 @heyl0lwhatsup @ryou-cosmos​

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER 1

Birds tweeting, sun shining…

Big strong arms around you.

“Well, well, Wells,” you say with a scratchy morning voice and twist your body around in bed to see who’s got you in his grasp. Ah. “Good morning, Harry.”

“Good morning, (Y/L/N),” the scientist replies. You just love how strands of his hair stick up in place. Harry arguably has the best bedhead.

“You know dear, since we are married after all, don’t you think it would be more acceptable to call me by my first name?”

Harry chuckles and pulls you closer against him.

“You do raise a fair point. (Y/N).”

“That’s more like it.”

He kisses your nose. Shortly after he does, it starts to feel itchy. You feel like you’re about to sneeze. It wiggles and wiggles until—

“Achoo!”

Suddenly, Harry, who had been clad in his silky pyjamas is now- oh my.

“(Y/N), did you just sneeze my clothes away?”

You can hardly answer the Wells in your bed because you’re so enthralled by his lack of clothing under the sheets.

“Happy accident?” you offer innocently. Harry shakes his head and smiles as if to signify that you’re up to your old antics again.

“Come here, you,” he says and pulls the covers over you both.

* * * *

The scene is really quite comical.

Harry walks briskly with his long legs into work at S.T.A.R. Toys Manufacturing Inc. as you try to keep up with quick little steps and a clipboard… while H.R. trails behind you like a maniac with a tray of coffee.

“(Y/N), I believe you have some explaining to do,” Harry speaks to you over his shoulder. “Can you remind me why you’re at work with me? And why the numbskull, too?”

“Handsome numbskull!” H.R. jokingly clarifies. Harry rolls his eyes.

“I told you, honey,” you begin, “I decided it would be best for me to get a job instead of sitting around the house. Plus, an assistant here was the only position available. I thought that was terribly convenient. We can spend more time together now, isn’t that wonderful? As for H.R., I hired him as my assistant!”

“My assistant has an assistant?”

“Don’t question it, honey,” you tell him and pat him on the cheek. Just then, two young employees walk up to you. They look rather familiar, but you can’t place why at the moment.

“Good morning, Mr. Wells,” the pair greet Harry. “And Mrs. Wells. ...And Mr. Wells.”

“Ah, good morning Garcia. Runk,” Harry answers. “I trust your projects are coming along?”

“That they are, Sir,” the young man called Runk replies.

“We should have them finished and ready by end of day,” Garcia, the young woman, adds.

“I’m glad to hear it-”

“-Well done, chaps!” H.R. interrupts. “You’re all doing such magnificent work. All for the children.”

“All for the children,” Garcia and Runk agree.

Harry clears his throat and whispers to you, “I think assistants to the assistants should be seen and not heard.”

“I’ll have a little chat with him,” you tell your handsome boss husband. “Now, let’s build some toys!”

* * * *

After a long day at the factory, you, Harry, and H.R. all return home. The delicious scent of dinner greets you as you walk in the door.

“Mmm, I wonder what Sherloque and Nash are cooking up!” you think out loud.

“I hope it’s nothing French,” Harry says semi-bitterly.

“H.R., can you go see what they’re up to in there, sweetie?”

“I most certainly can, dearest!” he responds then disappears into the kitchen. You are sure to take this opportunity to have some more one-on-one time with Harry on the couch. As you sit, he sets his briefcase down on the coffee table and removes from it a small rocket ship. After turning it around in his hands, Harry hands it to you.

“I’d been working on this today,” he says.

“Oh Harry, it is so groovy. You do such fine work.”

“The idea came to me in a dream.”

“You make dreams come true for children every day.”

Harry turns to you. “I think I’ve always wanted kids. But I guess it’s never happened for me.” He looks into your eyes. “I think I’d like to have one with you someday, (Y/N). How do you feel about that?”

“I feel… I feel…” Your nose starts to wiggle again. “Achoo!”

“(Y/N), are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Oh, yes, I’m completely and totally, whoaaaa!” You stand up to get a better look at yourself, finding that your tummy has a noticeable roundness to it.

“Are you…?” Harry asks. The rest of the Wells men come rushing into the living room.

“Qu’est-ce qui se passe?”

“I heard another sneeze!”

“Jumping juniper, (Y/N)’s pregnant!”

They all group around you in a half-circle to admire your belly and to declare their delight at the very abrupt surprise.

“Is this really happening?” you ask all of them, falling deeper and deeper into your happiness.

“I couldn’t imagine a better life with you,” Harry says and punctuates his final word with a kiss. Everything about this moment just seems… so much more colourful and vibrant.

And perfect.

~ ~ ~ ~

Barry had urgently messaged Cisco and Caitlin to meet him back at the Grand Central City Auditorium, where they had just seen Zatanna’s magic act. The plan—what very little of a plan he had—was to race to find Zatanna, the Mistress of Magic, and ask for her help.

Word on the street was that Miss Zatara’s act wasn’t mere illusions. People have said that she really does possess a special magical power. And if this was the case, she was their only hope to retrieve you from whatever world you’ve gotten yourself into.

They say sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

Well, now Team Flash is going to fight magic with magic.

It took a bit of making a scene inside the venue with the security guards for Zatanna to finally come out of her dressing room to see who was causing the commotion.

“Hi, excuse me, what’s going on here?”

“Zatanna? My name is Barry Allen,” your brother introduces himself. “I was at your show tonight.”

“Flawless,” Cisco can’t help but add.

“Sure,” she says, probably very much wanting him to get to the point. “How can I help you, Barry Allen?”

“We have a bit of a magical issue. My sister has gotten herself into a situation. We need your help.”

Zatanna’s big round eyes squint slightly, but whatever she sees in these three strangers surely isn’t threatening.

“Your sister, you say?” The Mistress of Magic always did have a soft spot for family. “Where is she?”

“You better come with us and see for yourself.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“Wow, this is quite the setup,” Zatanna says, taking in the Cortex upon her arrival. “Now, you said that your sister is broadcasting her own sitcom?”

“That’s right,” Barry confirms. “I switched on the TV earlier, and there she was in black and white. But the weird thing is that her set looked almost identical to her home, except not because her real home exploded-”

“Yeah, that’s the weird bit,” Cisco pipes up sarcastically. “Definitely not that she’s married to four different versions of the same man.”

“What?” Zatanna looks entirely confused. “Okay, you guys are going to have to catch me up.”

“No problem. The episode is streaming online. On repeat.”

“Cisco, pull up the show on the monitors,” Barry orders. The engineer does so, and the crew proceeds to analyze the sitcom episode.

“This man... or these men, rather—you said they died?” Zatanna asks the room. The rundown the gang gave her on the way to S.T.A.R Labs was quite rushed, so naturally it would only generate more questions.

“That’s right. I saw them disappear before my eyes,” Barry confirms. “They sacrificed themselves for us.”

Zatanna hums in thought. “Whether they’re truly dead or not, she must be using an incredible amount of magic to create this world and broadcast this across the airwaves.”

“Guys!” Caitlin raises her voice. “We have an incoming broadcast!”

The monitors change after a bit of static. Now, instead of the episode Team Flash was watching, a brand new jingle comes through the speakers.

“Is this…?” Barry starts.

“She released Episode Two!” Cisco cheers. Everyone in the room shoots him a look. “What? I’m invested.” As they watch the new episode, they take frantic notes, searching for any kind of clues.

“Look!” Barry points at the screen to the familiar faces.

“How did Allegra and Chester get in there?” Caitlin wonders.

“They have a guest-starring role…” Cisco notes, possibly with a hint of jealousy.

“And who are they?” Zatanna inquires.

“They’re our friends,” Barry clarifies. “At least, I think they are. They can't be illusions, can they? Created by (Y/N)?”

“I’ll call them and see if we can hear their phones ringing in the show,” Caitlin suggests. As she attempts the call, the rest of the team stands and stares at the screens hoping for some form of ringing sound. This episode seemed to be styled more in the Sixties, so it was unlikely that they’d actually see Chester and Allegra pull out a cell phone.

Nothing. No sound.

They must not have their phones on them…

A little while longer passes, with even more analyses by Team Flash and Zatanna studying your power on screen. Once in a while, she’ll ask Barry for background information about you. Which brings her to ask the all important question:

“How did (Y/N) get her powers?”

Barry goes on to explain your origin story, which coincides with his own. It was that one fateful night where Barry was in his CSI lab at CCPD, and so were you. You had stopped by to see how he was doing after the whole debacle of Iris getting her laptop stolen and Eddie saving the day instead. (To Barry’s credit, he tried really hard to catch the criminal, he just wasn’t fast enough). But you were checking up on him when the Particle Accelerator exploded and sent a wave of extraordinary, uncontained power across the city. You saw the lightning in the sky and tried to get Barry away from holding that metal chain, but in doing so, you also got caught in the crosshairs of the accident. Your brother fell into the shelf of chemicals as the lightning struck at the same time you knocked over a box of evidence—stolen ancient crystals from the Central City Museum.

Zatanna takes in the story silently, nodding in the right places. She’s deep in thought when a voice comes from the entrance to the Cortex: “Hey guys, what’s going on in here?”

Barry rushes to the two younger members of Team Flash, Allegra and Chester. “How did you two get in there? How did you get out?”

“Get in where?” Allegra wonders.

“Come on! In (Y/N)’s sitcom,” Cisco says. “Did she send out a casting call or did she just tell you that you got the parts?”

Chester and Allegra glance at each other with identical furrowed brows.

“You really don’t know what happened, do you?” Caitlin asks them.

“What happened?” they reply in unison.

Cisco stands up immediately. “I’ll get the popcorn.”

As he replays the footage, both of the ‘guest stars’ shake their heads in disbelief.

“Wow, nope, don’t remember any of that,” Chester says.

“No,” Allegra agrees. “One minute I’ve got my feet up in the Lounge, and the next I’m here walking into the Cortex.”

“Interesting,” Caitlin muses. “Interesting, but beyond strange. It’s like they’ve been mind wiped of the experience. We need more answers.” The rest of the episode plays out to reveal the big cliffhanger at the end.

“(Y/N)’s going to have a baby?!” Cisco shouts. “Oh man, things just got real. I wonder who’s the father... You don’t think (Y/N) would turn her show into a Maury episode, do you?”

“Zatanna, is there anything you can do?” Barry asks desperately. “This is getting out of hand.”

“I can cast a locating spell. All I have to do is say the words of what I wish backward for it to take hold.” Zatanna readies herself. “(N/Y) etacol,” the magician utters with her eyes closed. Everyone in the room stands silent in case making any kind of noise would ruin whatever spell she has cast.

They hold their breaths.

“I’m getting something…” Zatanna says eventually. “It’s like a signal of sorts. I can see it in my mind. And it’s coming from… here.”

“What do you mean, ‘here’?” Barry presses.

“Here. As in S.T.A.R. Labs.”

[rachelbethhines]

Vintage Shows to Watch While You Wait for the Next Episode of WandaVision - The 60s

So the 60s is the era that Wandavision pulls most heavily from for it’s inspiration. So much so that one could make the argument that each of the first three episodes are all set in the 1960s. Episode one pulls from the early 60s with multiple Dick Van Dyke refences, episode two is very Bewitched inspired, and episode three is aesthetically very similar to The Brady Bunch which started in ‘69. As such it was hard to narrow down the list for this decade and I had to get creative in some ways. 

1. The Andy Griffith Show (1960 - 1968)

The Andy Griffith Show gets kind of a bad rap now a days for being, supposedly, a conservative’s wet dream. People claiming it as such have apparently never actually seen the series. Oh yes, it’s very much set in white rural 60s America and will occasionally present the obliviously outdated joke, but the story of a widowed sheriff being the only sane man in a small town full of lovable lunatics, who prefers to solve his and others problems with negotiation and hair brained schemes as opposed to violence has far more in common with modern day Steven Universe than whatever genocidal fantasy fake rednecks have in their heads.  

As the gif above shows Andy Griffith was very subtlety progressive for its time. Andy was a stanch pacifist, pro-gun control, treated drug addicts and prisoners with respect, and all the women he would date had careers, ect. and so on. It’s not a satire making any sort of grand political statements but the series had a moral center that was far more left than many realize. 

But if it’s not a satire, then what type of comedy is it? 

The Andy Griffith Show excels in what I like to call, ‘awkward comedy’. See everyone in Mayberry is far too nice to just come out and tell a character they’re making an ass of themselves, so therefore whoever is the idiot punching bag of the episode’s focus must slowly unravel as everyone looks on in helpless pity until said character realizes the folly of their ways and the townsfolk come together to make them feel happy and accepted once more. Wandavision takes this polite idyllic awkwardness and plays it up for horror instead of laughs.  

2. The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961 - 1966)

The creators of Wandavision actually met with Dick Van Dyke himself to pick his brain and learn how sitcoms were made back then. Paul Bentley also took inspiration from Van Dyke in his performance of the sitcom version of Vision, while Olsen stated Mary Tylor Moore had a heavy influence on her character of Wanda. But more than just being a point of homage, The Dick Van Dyke Show was hugely influential in modernizing the family sitcom and breaking a lot of the unspoken traditions and ‘rules’ of the 50s television era. It’s also just really, really funny.  

3.The Alfred Hitchcock Hour (1962 - 1965) 

Bit of a cheat here. Alfred Hitchcock Presents actually started in 1955 as a half hour anthology show, but in ‘62 the show got a revamp and was extended into a full hour tv series. I knew I wanted The Twilight Zone to be covered in my episode one recap, but ‘The Master of Suspense’ couldn’t be forgotten. While The Twilight Zone reveled in the surreal and supernatural, Alfred Hitchcock pioneered the thriller genre and made real life seem dangerous, horrifying, and other worldly.   

4. Doctor Who (1963 - present day) vs Star Trek (1966 - present day) 

Just like how westerns dominated the air waves during the 50s, science fiction was the center of the cultural zeitgeist of the 60s. From Lost in Space to My Favorite Martian, space aliens and robots were everywhere. So naturally I had to name drop the two sci-fi juggernauts that still air to this today. If you thought that the rivalry between Star Wars and Star Trek was bad then you’ve never seen a chat full of Whovians and Trekkies duking it out over who is the better monster, the Borg or the Cyberman. But which one has the more influence over Wandavision?

Well Star Trek owes it’s existence to sitcoms. As with The Twilight Zone before it, Star Trek was produced by Desilu Productions and it’s co-founder and CEO, Lucille Ball, was the series biggest supporter behind the scenes, lobbying for it when it faced early cancelation. As with all things sitcomy, everything ties back to I Love Lucy in the end. However despite that little backstory, it would seem that the series has very little to do with Wandavision itself beyond being quintessentially American. 

I would argue that Wandavision owes much to Doctor Who though. Arguably more so than any show mentioned in this retrospective. Time travel, alternate realities, trouble in quite suburbia, brainwashing, people coming back from the dead, ect... just about every trope you can find in Wandavision has also appeared in Doctor Who at some point. As a series that can go anywhere and do anything, Doctor Who was a pioneer of marrying genres in new and interesting ways. 

5. Bewitched (1964 - 1972) and I Dream of Jeannie (1965 - 1970)

It’s hard to pick one series over another because they’re essentially the same show. A mortal man falls in love with a magical girl who upends their lives with magic filled hijinks as they try their best not to have their secret discovered by the rest of the world. And both have their fingerprints all over the DNA of Wandavision. 

There’s only two core differences; Samantha and Jeannie have completely different personalities, with Sam being confident and knowledgeable and Jeannie being naïve and oblivious, along with their relationships with their respective men, Sam and Darrin being married and in love at the start of the series and Jeannie chasing after Tony in the beginning in a will they/won’t they affair, finally only getting together in the last season. 

6. The Munsters (1964 - 1966) vs The Adams Family (1964 - 1966)

Fans of these two shows are forever sadden that there never was a crossover between them. Because they’d fit perfectly together. Both shows are about a surreal and macabre family living in American suburbia and disrupting the lives of their neighbors with their otherworldly hijinks. Sound familiar?     

The main difference between the two shows is the way the characters viewed their placement in the world they inhabit. 

The Munsters were always oblivious to the fact that didn’t fit in. They just automatically assumed everyone had the same personal tastes as them. Whenever they encountered anyone who behaved strangely around them they would write that person off as being the odd one rather than questioning themselves. As such the main cast was structured like a stereotypical sitcom family who just happened to be classic movie monsters. 

The Addams were well aware that they were abnormal and they loved it! They lived life with in their own little world and didn’t care what anyone thought of them. As such the characters were far more colorful and quirky as individuals but there was little in the way of refences to other horror franchises beyond just a general love of the twisted and strange. 

7. Green Acres (1965 - 1971) and the Rual-verse (1962 - 1971)

So the MCU is not the first franchise to bring viewers an interconnected universe to the small screen. Far from it, as sitcoms had been doing this for decades, starting with the ‘rualverse’. Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, and Green Acres were all produced by the same company and were treated as spinoffs of each other, complete with crossovers and shared characters and sets. 

Of the three, the last show, Green Acres, has the most in common with Wandavision. A well to do businessman and his lovely socialite wife settle down in small town America on a farm in order to get away from the stresses of city life, only to find new stresses in the country. Eva Gabor, herself a natural Hungarian, plays the character of Lisa as Hungarian making her one of the few non-native born Americans on tv screens during the cold war. Despite her posh nature and original protests to the move, Lisa assimilates to the rural life far easier than her husband, Oliver. Who, as the main comedic thread, can’t comprehend his new quirky neighbors’ odd and often illogical behavior.  

8. Hogan’s Heroes (1965 - 1971) and Get Smart (1965 - 1969)

So as comic fans have been quick to point out, it’s looking like both A.I.M. (Hydra) and Sword (Shield) will be players in the story of Wandavision. To commemorate that here’s two shows to represent those opposing sides. Although in truth, neither series has anything else in common with each other but I need to condense things down someway. 

In Hydra’s corner we got Hogan’s Heroes. A show all about taking down Nazis from within. 

I love, love, love, ‘robin hood’ comedies where a group of con artists try week after to week to pull one over the establishment. The Phil Silvers Show, Mchale's Navy, and Top Cat, just to name a few examples are all childhood favorites of mine. However while those shows had a lot of morally ambiguous characters, Hogan’s Heroes has very clear cut good guys and bad guys, cause the bad guys are Nazis and the show relentless makes fun of the third reich as should we all. In fact I was watching Hogan’s Heroes while waiting for the GA run off election results. Fortunately my home state decided to kick out our own brand of Nazis this year. 

For Shield, we got the ultimate spy spoof, Get Smart. Starring, Inspector Gadget himself, Don Adams, as the bumbling Maxwell Smart. Get Smart, is a hilarious send up of Cold War espionage but the real selling point of the show, imho, is Max and his co-worker 99′s relationship. You can cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife all while laughing your ass off. 

9. Batman (1966 - 1968)

First was Superman and then came Batman. Yet while Superman was a serious action show, Batman was a straight up comedy. Showcasing that superheroes could indeed be funny. 

Also shout out for Batman being the only show on this list to have an actual crossover with it’s competitor, The Green Hornet. 

10. Julia (1968 - 1971)

Since episode two features the first appearances of Herb and Monica, let’s highlight the first black led sitcom since the cancelation of Amos ‘n Andy over a decade earlier. The show focuses on single mother and military nurse, Julia, as she tries to live her life without her recently decease husband, who was killed in Vietnam, as she tries to raise their six year old son on her own.  

The series is cute. It’s more of a throw back to earlier family sitcoms where there’s no fantasy and life lessons are the name of the game. It’s the fact that the main character is a single black woman is what made the show so subversive and important at the time. 

Runner Ups

There’s much good stuff in the 60s, so here’s some others that didn’t make the cut but I would recommend anyways. 

Car 54, Where Are You? (1961 - 1963)

I call this the Brooklynn 99 of the 1960s. Bumbling but well meaning Officer Toody longs to do good in the world and help anyone in need, but often screws things up with his ill thought out schemes. He often drags his best friend and partner, the competent but anxiety riddled, Muldoon into his escapades. 

Mr. Ed (1961 - 1966)

The grandfather of the sarcastic talking pet trope. 

The Jetsons (1962 - 1963 and 1985 - 1987)

Hanna-Barbera often took popular sitcoms and just repackaged them as cartoons with a fantasy theme to them. The Jetsons has no singular show that it rips-off but is rather more a grab bag of sitcom tropes that feature, robots, computers, and flying cars. 

The Outer Limits (1963 - 1965) 

The Outer Limits was The Twilight Zone’s biggest competitor in terms of being a sic-fi/horror anthology series. 

Gillian’s Island (1964 - 1967) 

The only comparison to WandaVision I could think of was that this is a sitcom about people being trapped in one place. But by that point I was running out of room on the list. Still it’s one of the funniest shows on here. 

So yeah, this took longer than expected cause there’s a lot, here. Hopefully the 70s will be easier. Which I’ll post on Friday. 

[themonkeycabal]

Wandavision Ep 7 Spoilers

Spoilers below

Good morning. There's a guy power washing the sidewalks at 12:30 a.m., and the drone from the generator is drilling into my brain. So I will watch WandaVision instead of doing something I might regret.

Previously on: Wanda was getting sick of Pietro's shit. Vision knows/thinks his wife is behind all the creepy shenanigans, and he tried to escape the Hex, only to fly to pieces in the real world. I can relate.

Outside, Monica, Jimmy, and Darcy were banished from the SWORD circus by Acting Director Dick, because of course. They snuck back in, also because of course. Darcy hacked AD Dick's files and found out he's Up to Something. Then she ran to try and help Vision and got herself arrested and handcuffed to a jeep. Which is where the brave SWORD agents left her when they ran away as Wanda, attempting to save Vision, expanded the Hex, swallowing Darcy and the SWORD compound, turning it all into a sitcom circus. Well deserved. Well, not Darcy, but anyway.

AD Dick escaped. Unfortunately. But, so did Jimmy and Monica who were off to her mystery aerospace engineer friend to find a way into the Hex.

Also, Tommy and Billy have powers.  

The episode 7 summary is a delight: "Two super-powered beings living ideal suburban lives suspect that everything is not as it seems." You don't say, Disney+.

Wanda wakes, regrets everything, and hides under the covers.  Understandable. Cut away to her addressing the camera The Office style "Look, we've all been there. Letting our fear and anger get the best of us; intentionally expanding the boarders of the false world we created". (cut to screaming running SWORD minions lol).

The boys come to get her, their game is freaking out. The video game controllers can't decide what decade they're in and are glitching it up.

Billy says his head feels weird and noisy. Wanda isn't terribly responsive. Mommy needs some her time.

"As punishment for my reckless evening, I plan on taking a quarantine-style staycation. A whole day. Just to myself. That'll show me." lol

Wanda eventually rouses herself, goes downstairs in her robe and sweats, ignores the boys fighting over a video game controller, and goes for the sugariest cereal. The milk container keeps glitching, she tries very very hard to ignore that.

Interesting Office-style opening credits, where it's just her name on everything. Vision is only added at the end, with the tag "Created by Wanda Maximoff".

Out in the real world, what is the point of SWORD? Like how do they have jurisdiction? Where is SHIELD. Director Mack, wtf, dude?

Anyway, now that part of their camp has been swallowed by the hex, they're further out, staring at the angry glowing force-field. AD Dick is a dick. He wants to know what's happening with the broadcast. His little minion says the signal's gone. Ominously he says "we launch today". Mmmm, what delightfully heavy-handed dipshittery will we have to endure?

Back inside. Vision wakes in the field at the edge of town that is now a circus. And lots and lots of clowns. He gets yelled at by a strongman who seems to think Vision is the new clown and tells him he's late for rehearsal with the escape artist. Who is Darcy. lol

"I put in for the bearded lady. But this alabaster complexion wasn't fooling anyone."

Darcy is chained to a ye olde fire engine or tractor or something. Vision walks up to her making a weird face and kind of waving his hand back and forth between them.

"You don't remember me from last night? We locked eyes, there was an unspoken understanding." Darcy tells him "um, hard pass." lol She busts out of her chains and walks away, Vision chases after.

Back at home, Wanda wants to know if the boys have seen dad, they haven't, but Billy wants to know about that whole thing Uncle Pietro said about dad being dead again. Wanda says Pietro is not their uncle. The boys don't understand, and Wanda has a little rambling breakdown about how she has no answers and maybe there's no meaning to anything ha ha don't worry boys mommy's just having a little depression.

Agnes knocks and then, you know, strolls in, when Wanda magics the door open.

"Hi Agnes. I'd get up but I just don't, ahahahah, want to." If I was Billy or Tommy I'd mount a search for dad. Stat.

Agnes: "I think I got there in the nick of time, 'cause she was one split-end away from cutting her own bangs."

(It's 1 a.m. and I swear to God, that man is still power-washing the sidewalks.)

Agnes suggests the boys go with her and give mommy that 'me time' she so desperately needs. The boys are reluctant but Wanda is ecstatic.

Once alone with her certainly soggy cereal, Wanda settles back to watch crappy daytime TV. But, damn it, the furniture is glitching through the eras.

"I'm fine! I'm fine hahahah. *sigh* I'm fine. i'm fine. … I'm fine."

In the real world. Jimmy and Monica are still on the move. The file on project whatever it was from last episode (Cataract), that Darcy forwarded to Jimmy's email, has finally found its way to him. It's R&D reports.

Oh, that asshole, AD Dick was trying to bring Vision back online. Monica puts the pieces together "Heyward wants his sentient weapon back."

Jimmy says somebody has to tell Wanda.

Good thing they arrive at the other side of the Hex, I guess? Where Monica has another team waiting. An Agent Goodner. They brought her like some sort of big Mars rover thingy.

Vision is still trying to talk to Darcy. "You tried to help me." "Doubtful. I'm notoriously self-involved."

lol, some amusing back and forth. Darcy is an f'ing delight and I don't just say that because I am obviously hideously biased.

Vision distracts her with a mime and takes the opportunity to do his brain mojo on her, waking her up. "Part of me secretly wanted a guest spot on this show, but seriously that sucked."

"Dr. Lewis. I have questions." "I have answers."

And then they steal the funnel cake truck.

"Dr. Lewis, my questions. Are my children safe?" "That I don't know." "And who was that Pietro?" "Beats me."

Wanda is still working on her bowl of cereal. Give it up, sister. The house redecorates itself around her.

Uh-oh, in her talking head segment, about how she doesn't understand whats going on, the person behind the camera speaks, and asks if maybe it's what she deserves. "You're not supposed to talk."

Commercial time. For a depression medication. "Nexus, a unique antidepressant that works to anchor you back to your reality. Or the reality of your choice."

Back in Westview. The boys are hanging at Agnes's. Billy has a rabbit. As happens at your crazy neighbor's house. But, he says he likes it there, because it's quiet. "You're quiet, Agnes. On the inside." J'ACCUSE, AGNES!  

Back at Monica's backup camp, she's getting suited up in her SWORD astronaut suit. Jimmy's sad because Darcy's missing the fun. But, Monica will rescue her. SWORD is worse than SHIELD for slapping their name all over everything.

Monica and the little rover zoom off to the hex. Should she really go that fast? Maybe this is something to take cautiously? Oh, and look, she hit it hard and she's stuck. The Hex doesn't want to let her in, but she keeps trying. And now the Hex is eating into the rover — sorry, *re-writing* it. Well that was a dumb plan. Sorry guys, but come on.

Monica escapes, but the hex eats the rover and then spits it out, the front half transformed into a truck. Monica is shocked, Jimmy calls for a medic, and as they run forward, Jimmy, who has known Monica for like two days, recognizes she's got 'I'm a heroic dummy' face on and he's all "noooooo!". She runs for the hex and pushes her way in.

This is a really long sequence of her going through the hex. Like … too long. Sorry, but it is. There's a whole thing where she's hearing voices from moments in her life, and she hears Carol tell her how she's a tough kid, and now Monica is Filled With Resolve and breaks through the Hex, still in her Astronaut outfit, so like she resisted the sitcom wardrobe department.

I enjoy this show, but there are moments of hokeyness that I find very trying.

The hex rewrites you at a basic level as you pass through it. So, third time through and Monica's eyes are glowy blue and she can, like, see electrical currents, or electromagnetic fields (it looks like). Trippy. She can see power along the power lines, fields around streetlights. Closing her eyes and shaking her head makes it all go away. Of course.

Meanwhile, Darcy and Vision are on their slow-speed getaway in the Funnel Cake truck. She's trying to catch him up on what's happened since he's been dead. They keep hitting red lights and obstacles. Vision thinks Wanda's doing it to keep him from getting home. "I'm not amused," he tells the camera with a very not amused face on. lol

Vision is trying to understand what he is now. It's not going well. "My corporeal form was born from Ultron's plan for global genocide?" "Correct-o." Darcy might not be the best person to be explaining this to him.

"What am I now?" Poor Vision.

Darcy takes a deep breath. In fairness, she looks like maybe she'd rather not be the one doing the explaining, either. "Honestly, I'm a STEM type of lady, so I thought she just flipped a switch on your head and brought you back to life. What I don't get is why you can't leave the hex."

Vision is having an existential crisis. But, Darcy assures him that based on her week-long experience as a fan of WandaVision, he and Wanda do really love each other. So, there's that. "You belong together," says the shameless shipper.

Meanwhile, Monica has arrived at the Maximoff residence and busts into the house, breathlessly trying to tell Wanda it's all Heyward being a dick, but Wanda's stunned by the sudden entry and then too pissed to really listen. "The drones, the missiles, Pietro." "No, Pietro wasn't us." "All you do is lie." She's tossing Monica around with her powers.

Monica, friend, buddy, pal, was that really your plan? To barge right in and just … what? Talk fast and hope she didn't yeet your ass again? Okay, she didn't have a lot of time, I get that, but surely she could have come up with something. Like, she should have found Darcy and Vision first, and then the three of them could approach Wanda. But, no. Jimmy Woo would have a plan, Monica.

Well, fortunately for Monica she's been rewritten into Electricity Lass. She hits the ground with a staticky crackle and her eyes glow blue again. Wanda's all "bu-whu?"

"The only lies I've told are the ones you put in my mouth," Monica says all angry like. Mmmkay, I thought you were trying to help? Wanda does not care for this response. Because, no offense Monica, but the last time she heard your voice, she had a missile launched at her head.

Monica challenges her. "Do it then, take me out." Not an approach I’d go for, but it seems to work, and Wanda hesitates and Monica tries to warn her again, that unlike Wanda who isn’t actually violent and evil, Heyward will burn down Westview to get what he wants. "Don't let him make you the villain."

"Maybe I already am."

Next door, Agnes is looking out the window, watching them, with a considering look on her face. BECAUSE SHE IS IN ON WHATEVER THIS IS.

Monica is still trying to talk down Wanda. Agnes interrupts. Creepily. And shepherds Wanda away.

Vision and Darcy are thwarted in their journey again. "Oh come on! Kids? What's next? Puppies?"

Vision takes the faster way and intangibles himself out of the van and flies off, leaving Darcy at the endless intersection. "Go on! I'll just meet you there then?"

Back at Agnes's shack of creepy ladies who are freaking up to something. Where are the boys? Oh, Wanda notices the half-eaten PB&Js and the nightmarish kids' show on the telly. Behind her the bunny is in its cage. No sign of the boys. Agnes says they're probably playing in the basement.

Wanda wanders off to find them. But, there are no boys, only horror show creepiness. The basement turns into some weird sort of domed cavern with arches all around and in the middle a weird glowing rectangle.

Agnes comes up behind her. "You didn't think you were the only magical girl in town, did you?" I was wise to you, Agnes. Which, given she was a featured co-star, was probably no great insight on my part. BUT STILL!

"The name's Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear." OH! LOLOLOL! OH, I didn't see that one coming. Wow, you got me, show. It never occurred to me for a second that it was Agatha Harkness.

And now a fantastic montage of Agatha doing tricksy things as Agnes through the series, with the best theme song ever "Who's been messing up everything? It's been Agatha, all along! Who's been pulling every evil string? It's been Agatha, all along. She's insidious. HA HA! So perfidious." Oh man, this is great. "And I killed Sparky, too."

LOL. Great ending.

Hey, an unexpected mid-credits scene of Monica trying to get into the house. Maybe Agnes's? Oh, yeah, she finds a storm cellar and opens the doors, to see a stone stairway with vines or roots growing all around it and zippy electrical sparks and such. Pietro appears behind her. "Snoopers gonna snoop."

Credits!

Well then.

I KNEW IT! I didn't know what I knew, but I knew I knew a thing!

[brandonxdylan]

Omg OK so there’s yet another gay 90210 storyline that I feel compelled to offer commentary on, and this one’s perhaps the most frustrating one of all (which is saying something because none of the gay representation on this show has been what I’d call good, and in fact most of it has only served to make me hate these self-involved heteros even more). 
So here we are. It’s season 9, and all the drama is extremely contrived at this point, and you can tell that the writers are basically just pulling ideas out of a hat. What if Val murdered her dad? What if Dylan came back? What if Donna had a heretofore unmentioned cousin who was a pro figure skater and also a pro schemer? It’s from this context that we get “hey, what if Steve’s mom was gay?” 
Personally, I’ve always appreciated the continuity with Steve’s family life. His parents are pretty well-rounded characters with full, consistently plausible(ish) backstories, which is more than I can say for half of the regular characters on this show (*cough cough* Noah). Given that, is it random and contrived for Samantha to come out as a lesbian? Yeah, probably. I don’t think this was some grand plan that the writers had been sitting on for nine years, just waiting to reveal. But I don’t really care because it’s also true to life. A lot of people come out in middle age if not later, and this was a post-Ellen world after all. Being a gay celebrity (Steve’s mom is a sitcom star) was no longer unheard of. However, it was still considered a huge risk to come out as gay and still expect to find work (especially if your work was expected to be “family friendly”). So the conflict here is timely, and fairly realistically written. The actress who plays Samantha, Christine Belford, sells it, and there’s a nice sense of empowerment that comes through in her character, who is clearly not willing to tolerate the bullshit box that society wants to put her in. There’s the makings of a truly compelling story here. But of course that’s not what we get, because man, does Steve piss me off in these episodes, and as per fucking usual, the writers completely let him off the hook. 
When Samantha first comes out to Steve, he’s shocked. Fair enough. But it’s not long before he begins to place lots of unfair judgment on his mother (despite David trying to talk him down by saying lesbians are valid because two girls making out is a turn on…thanks for that David). Eventually he goes so far as to remind the reporter from a gossip magazine who contacts Steve for comment regarding rumours of his mom’s sexuality that’s he’s adopted. Naturally, Samantha takes this as tacit admission that he’s ashamed of her, as she sees this as being Steve’s way of distancing himself from her and her sordid Lifestyle.™ Which it absolutely is. This is where we get the exchange pictured above in which Samantha justifiably questions Steve’s selfish expectations of her and he comes back with this WAY HARSH slap in the face. He immediately regrets it, but the damage is done. His true feelings are crystal clear. 
And to be clear, my issue is not with Steve’s homophobic feelings. I actually think that, especially for the late 90s, Steve’s reaction isn’t that unusual (sad though that may be), and I think there’s lots to be gained from digging into the ways in which latent homophobia can manifest itself in unexpected ways, and how that can cause massive problems within otherwise close families. No, my issue with this episode is with how Steve’s homophobic feelings are resolved. The storyline culminates in Samantha getting fired from her much-hyped comeback sitcom once she’s outed. And it’s not until this happens that Steve finally starts to come around. But this is what pisses me off the most, because right up until then, Steve is only thinking of himself, and how his mother’s sexuality impacts his life. He even goes so far as to question why she adopted him in the first place, asking if it was part of her heterosexual cover up. My good God, this is some hetero nonsense that I simply CAN. NOT. Anyway, when she drops the bomb that she got fired, suddenly Steve becomes protective of her and is furious that she has to suffer such injustice. But…like…BRO. You were literally JUST treating her the same way. The whole thing reads as “you’re my mom, and I can be homophobic and treat you like a pariah, but the rest of the world? HELL NO!” 
And honestly, like so many Very Special Episodes of 90210, it’s not the fact that the characters are flawed that’s the issue. The problem is that no one ever learns from their flaws or has the opportunity to grow in a realistic way. The characters are often depicted as having latent (and sometimes straight up blatant) prejudices, and that is okay, because we literally all do. But almost every time, these prejudices only function to give the main characters an opportunity to simply change their mind and get a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum. Steve’s relationship with his mother changes exclusively as a result of external factors completely outside of his control. He doesn’t have to do anything. He barely even apologizes! It totally feels like the show is condoning Steve’s earlier behaviour, which feels pretty retrograde by today’s standards, and I’m sure was not particularly progressive even by 90s standards. It pussyfoots around the complexities of the questions it raises, and to be honest, that always leaves a bit of an icky taste in my mouth, because it seems clear that the issue isn’t being raised out of interest in exploring it - it’s being raised to pose as a problem for the straight characters. 
Still, I don’t want to speak for all queer audiences, but I for one am very used to accepting scraps. I mean fuck, this blog literally exists because I projected a non-existent romance between Dylan and Brandon on to the show because queer audiences are so used to having to do the work that most shows won’t in terms of creating queer characters. So to see a show like 90210 actually attempting to address queer issues on TV in the 90s (however shallow and frustrating the end result may be), is still satisfying. It was a worthwhile endeavour, and many similar shows did it well. And as much as I’m tearing into this episode, I’m still glad it exists because even though it provides no answers or legitimate commentary (90210 is weirdly centrist when it comes to political and social issues), it at least acknowledges that gay people exist, and that they can be middle-aged mothers, which is a demographic that doesn’t even get a ton of representation now, let alone in the 90s. Most coming out narratives follow teens or twentysomethings, which is fine, but coming out can happen at any age, especially in the 90s when the stigma was only just starting to lift, and many people who had been closeted for decades felt like they could finally come out. And for all my issues with the way Steve is portrayed, Samantha’s portrayal feels surprisingly tender and sympathetic. But, like so many queer characters, she ultimately shows up only to offer complications for the straight people around her before vanishing into thin air, because this was the last episode Samantha appeared in. 
At least this way I can imagine her living her best gay life somewhere.

[smartguyreviewed]

2x6 - Trial and Error

Original air date: Oct 15, 1997

Okay, so we begin this infuriating episode with Floyd coming home and calling out for his biological children. None of them are home. Except for Mo. Mo broke into the house. No, seriously. He broke into the house and started eating somebody’s leftovers. Now in any other case, this would warrant a passionate ass whooping and a call to the parents of this child because what the fuck are you doing so wrong to have your son breaking into houses and not stealing anything except for food? However, this is sitcom world and Floyd just seems more annoyed than anything since Mo is always there anyway.

Mo tells Floyd he needs to be more careful about locking the windows. So linebacker ass Mo really needed to eat and somehow oozed through a window just to get food? Ok, I take back what I said about him needing his ass kicked. Mo is clearly malnourished even though he’s huge. His parents must be poor and therefore can’t afford to feed him. Holy shit was that dark. Moving on. 

Food and TJ’s brain are the reasons for his crime. His parents are going to kill him if he brings home another D. This is really helping me build a theory that Mo’s parents are abusive, so let’s assume his parents are literal this time about the kill thing. Floyd then realizes that Mo’s punishment would equal him not being over again to eat up their food and casually break in so he tells Mo that TJ joined the Marines. Nice, Floyd.

Just then, the rest of Floyd’s flock comes in babbling about who got what part in a play. TJ is naturally upset because he wanted a bigger role, still not getting used to the idea that he’s a 10 year old and unless he’s playing the role of a character with dwarfism, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have a huge part. TJ storms off in a huff. Typical TJ things.

The next day, everyone is atwitter over a test from their more over it than Lisa Simpson teacher. This man wants all of his students to fail. He hates his students. He’s a teacher and yet he hates teaching. Maybe this is the wrong profession for you, bruh? And it’s evident his ‘over it’ level is on a million from the way he comes in and tells his class to “get ready to hate me.” The deadpan, dry delivery was funny though. 

His first task is to give his students an assignment so hard that even he doesn’t know all the answers. Um, why? If you don’t know the answers, how are you gonna grade the tests? Isn’t this just creating more work for you, someone who already hates his job? Why the fuck does Piedmont hire such bad teachers and faculty, dammit?

Even TJ is intimidated by this test! Mo asks Mr. Bringleman why stuff from another chapter he previously said wouldn’t be on the test is on the test. He simply says he lied. This man is evil. I hated teachers who did that bitch ass shit. Yes, I only studied for what you said was going to be on the test because I have other classes too, ya know. I’m a teenager, not a machine!

I’m just gonna call him Mr. B for the rest of this review because fuck this most likely racist white man. His ass was listening to the boys talking about how hard the test was and then Mo says he wishes he could do to Mr. B what he does to all of them. Mr. B asks if he’s threatening him and Mo stammers. Then Mr. B insults his intelligence by asking if he ever has a complete thought. Before he can even fix his mouth to call him the N word, not Linda Ellerbee shows up to see what’s going on. Oh yeah, and she’s the new principal. She’s the third one so far and this is only the first half of the second season.

Anyways, she needs someone to cover a class and outright forces him to do it. Ha-ha. When the boys laugh at him, Mr. B says he’s going to grade Mo’s test. Nice, I just love seeing teachers bully students.

At the play rehearsal, TJ is still campaigning for a lead role. Mackey has to be the one to humble him, asking for duct tape. Marcus’s play related arc in this episode is pursuing acting seriously in case music doesn’t work out. His part has no lines so he’s trying to act with his face. He can just feel the SAG membership card in his hands.

Just then, Yvette bursts in wearing a Prince-inspired outfit and lets everyone know there was a fire in the chem lab. Dun du--pause. Why the fuck is she telling everyone? Wouldn’t they have had a fire drill? Are there no fire alarms in this blasted school? How the fuck did nobody know about it or smell smoke and why is Yvette bursting in like the town crier in this Purple Rain ass outfit???

All the students are happy until Linda Ellerbee hands Mo his charred playbook and asks him to come into her office. Dun dun dun. Later we find out that Mo was expelled. Because he is an abused child who only feels safe at the Hendersons, Mo has once again broke into their house and begun working out in their garage. Floyd is over it.

TJ comes home and talks to Mo. He is sad to learn that nobody thinks he’s innocent but says that TJ has to believe him because he has the “wide-eyed innocence of a child.” He follows this up with shitty examples of kids trusting adults who end up being assholes. Once they finally get on a good example, TJ is able to see that Mo is innocent and decides to help Mo get back into school.

The next day, TJ is in the principal’s office waiting for Linda Ellerbee. She has mice in her office because Piedmont is the worst public school ever and is resorting to playing the Spice Girls to get them out. Is that supposed to be a diss to the Spice Girls? Fuck anyone who disses the Spice Girls.

Sis is not budging when it comes to letting Mo back in the school. Sounds like a job for TJ’s cuteness and persistence! He gets her to agree to a mock trial where Mo would have to come back to the school. I...whatever. Order in the courtroom!

TJ is Mo’s defense. The opposinjg side calls Marcus to the stand so we already know this will end in disaster. It takes less than a minute for Marcus to admit that Mo threatened Mr. B. Ugh! Stupid Marcus. But he doesn’t even do the worst on the stand. Mo actually manages to fuck it all up! Marcus and TJ are trying to paint Mo out to be, what the kids today would call it, a “punk ass bitch.” Rather than play along and accept it, dumb ass Mo puts his stupid, fragile masculinity ahead of his chance to get back into school and says that he follows through on all threats. Once he realizes his gaffe, he immediately sits his ass down. Yvette is annoyed.

Vice principal Millitch, who will later replace Linda Ellerbee in one of the only sensical things I’ve seen regarding Piedmont, qualifies that Mo’s playbook was found at the scene next to Mr. B’s burnt gradebook. It was nice knowing ya, Mo. We know how the legal system works.

So then the loser teacher gets on the stand and tries to make it seem like he doesn’t intentionally make his students suffer by giving them ridiculously hard tests and lying about what’s even going to be on the test. To him, Mo is just a stupid, violent nigger so of course he’d want to commit a crime instead of studying harder. And then he lays it on thicker by insulting his intelligence again, explaining what the word combust means in the most smug ass, irritating way. It’s fucked up upon re-watch but at least it’s super realistic how predominately black public schools get racist white teachers often. They’re usually there for the tuition reimbursement.

TJ is now realizing that he may not be able to help Mo out of this jam. While eating dinner, Yvette comes in and apologizes for her lateness, saying the trial is over and now the school can continue with the play rehearsals. She tells an adamant TJ that Mr. B, also assuming the trial’s conclusion, was chain smoking cigarettes and humming “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” Floyd is appalled at the latter. TJ’s gears begin shifting. Side note but doesn’t Mr. B just look like a miserable ass teacher who smokes in the classroom?

TJ and Mo break into the school. Geez, so much trespassing in this episode! Mo isn’t even worried about being caught because what are they gonna do, “expel him from college?” Slapstick ensues while TJ collects samples from the gradebook. Mo, on the other hand, is battling a mouse trap. I was super high when I watched this last night but this scene had me in stitches. Omar Gooding is really good with physical comedy. Look, even TJ gets stuck to him when they’re leaving! Priceless!

At court the next morning, TJ calls Mr. B to the stand. He brilliantly examines him and exposes him for smoking in the classroom, which was the actual cause for the fire. This man is fucking evil! He was actually about to get away with very possibly ruining a teenager’s life until a fucking 10 year old stepped in and dug deeper. He could have seriously gotten him disowned by his parents, making him homeless, forcing him to turn to the streets for survival. All because he’s an asshole and didn’t have the heart to own up to what he did. Hell, it’s fucking Piedmont! I’m sure they would have kept him!

Seeing as he just gets sent to Linda’s office, he’s most likely getting a slap on the wrist and paid vacation leave. Oh well. Also frustratingly realistic. At least Mo isn’t expelled anymore. Too bad Mo’s unwashed hands are still sticky when he shakes the principal’s hand and the joke continues.

At the end, Marcus gets bumped up to the illustrious Juror #2. Gotta love a true thespian! Case dismissed. Bring out the dancing lobsters.

Things I noticed:

- Stinky Steve is Mr. B’s defense.

- Piedmont has no respect for their students’ time. The mock trial began at 8am. Assuming that their school day begins at 9am, I bet the play participants probably hate TJ for forcing them to get up an hour earlier than normal, on top of having to do the play after school.

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

Okay, so I woke up at 7:45 this morning, so I was not coherent enough to do my normal WandaVision livewatch for today's episode, BUUUT I will speak my mind now!!

Spoilers under the cut (duh):

The title of the episode itself was huge foreshadowing - "On A Very Special Episode" is what sitcoms back then referred to when they were doing episodes that dealt with heavy topics, thus the "very special" part

It's not only a nice tribute to the old sitcoms of the day, it's - again - blatantly foreshadowing what's gonna happen in the ending

But now, onto the episode:

So I had to rewatch the beginning, but now I definitely noticed how Wanda's voice was more down when she said the "previously on" bit. Extremely clever.

Vision is becoming more and more awaaaare

I know people still make out Agnes to be the big villain of it all, but she's either a really fucking good actor, or she's not entirely acting.

This entire episode was mostly me feeling bad for Vision :'(

That entire opening was so adorable, and I think that opening song's my most favorite one of the series

Though please don't make me see Baby Vision ever again, please and thank you

Wonder how Elizabeth felt -

Love the nice transitions between scenes of "WandaVision" and the world outside of Westview

I don't even notice the screen ratios, it's so smooth!

Darcy finally has her coffee :D

The trio of Monica, Darcy and Jimmy is not something I predicted, but now I love it

There was a quick clip of crying Wanda - doesn't look like foreshadowing though, cause there was a nice house in the background, a modern one - a flashback maybe?

They FINALLY confirm her powers and age!! I mean, it still causes major continuity issues with her MCU story, but hooray for something!!

Hayward is definitely suspicious (wow, how shocking -_-), but at least the trio are noticing it

I had my suspicions there was beef between Monica and Carol, but I didn't want them to be true

Homophobia

I saw this one blog who's a fan of Monica/Wanda, and same (I'm a dumb sapphic bitch, what did you expect)

So back to Vision

All the men reading the email was creepy

"Norm" saying it's just a joke was creepy

Him snapped out of it and yelling about "her" being in her mind was mega creepy

Also the actor did a fantastic job, just snapping between personalities like that

THAT LAGOS COMMERCIAL HONEY IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT

It really did make me smile seeing the trio still sticking up for Wanda, understanding how she's processing her grief and knowing she never had the proper therapy she needed

Fucking Wanda strutting out all badass, flinging back the broken drone

Also what the fuck was Hayward planning to do with Vision, cause fuck him

I don't like animal deaths or children deaths in general, so that did kinda get me

But I was mostly more confused by the twins - they seem to know more than what they should

Even Wanda said "what?" - she's at least not in control of them

Agnes still looking terrified, wondering if she'll do anything to her since she found Sparky

God, it was just so cool seeing the end credits while the scene was still going on - reminded me of Too Many Cooks in a way

Vision confirming for us that he has no memory of his life outside of Westview is so heartbreaking, Paul Bettany's really getting to show his chops now, turning this side robot character into a fleshed-out (no pun intended) personality

Also can Markiplier sue Marvel for taking his idea? (Go watch Wilford Motherlovin Warfstache if you don't understand - also go watch Markiplier if you haven't)

So I think we all, including me, joked about the mindfuckery of Evan Peters playing Pietro, but I don't think any of us thought it would actually come true

I'm pretty sure my brain was a mixture of the "potato flying through the ceiling" vine, the "YOU BETTER STAHP!" vine and the "BITCH WHAT THE FUCK" clip all at once

I really thought they were going for a "oh, this is the same Pietro, just similar in a different way, haha", but Darcy said they "recasted" him

Wanda was confused and a little freaked out the whole time

I know people are disappointed it's not Aaron-Taylor Johnson (I honestly didn't care if he played Pietro in this or not, sorry), but considering all of this, I believe this is intentional and will absolutely play a bigger role

Will he be revealed as Peter Maximoff? I don't think so (also I don't want him to be - way too confusing and we should leave the Fox X-Men to rest)

Is Wanda completely in control of Westview? I still don't think so, probably being manipulated by an outside force like Mephisto or maybe even Agnes (also it's such a red herring, everyone trying to insist she's the main villain)

Will the ending of WandaVision almost definitely tear my heart out? Absolutely (cause we know shit's gonna get fucked)

[chaoticneutralwriter]

Catalyst

“There’s an old saying that says every demon was once an angel.

So tell me, is it possible for a demon to become one again?”

guardian demon! Jimin x reader

word count: 14.6k

genre: slow-burn, angst, fluff, romance, comedy, slice of life

Related works: see masterlist under Guardian Demon! Jimin

A/N: Shoutout to @milady-mira for this moodboard! Thank you all for the kind messages throughout the month as I worked on this T-T Unknowingly I had sucked myself into doing another chonky chapter but enough on that, let’s roll!

It’s been a good three days since Jimin sprang those tickets on you and you’re still riding on cloud nine. You wake up every day still thinking it was all a dream which makes you check your phone almost religiously, pulling up the app to see that yes, the two GA tickets to BTS’ Love Yourself Tour were sitting in your inbox. It’s gotten you feeling so good that you didn’t mind going to work at all for once. Today is no different, you started your day by spending a good ten minutes in bed after waking up just staring at your phone, smiling so widely that your cheeks ache. After drinking in the sight of the tickets for the nth time, you sigh contently, placing your phone on your chest to stare aimlessly at the ceiling in reflection.

-

“You’re not coming?” You can’t help pouting, head leaning heavily against Jimin’s chest as he carries you bridal style back to yours and Jaehee’s house. After much crying, you’ve protested against apparating back home in fear that you might actually throw up. It was a tough argument to make but when you threaten Jimin that if he risks it and you end up puking your guts out even when you had warned him, he’ll be responsible for cleaning it. So that got you both to come to a consensus of apparating as far as to get off the building and walking the rest of the way.

“Of course not cherub, would it make sense for someone who looks like the mirror image of your idol to be at their show? It’ll cause a riot.”

“Oh right… Good point.” You mumble, all tuckered out and practically half asleep at this point. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing already.” Jimin reprimands, adjusting his hold on you as he continues to walk. The rest of the way was filled with silence, with you more or less trying to fight off falling asleep right in Jimin’s arms. It’s proven difficult though, in your post-drunk state you’re more susceptible to the soft sounds of his heartbeat lulling you to a drowse. On top of that, the gentle rocking you feel from his strides does nothing to help, only making you feel more and more like a baby being put to sleep. So it’s no wonder that you lose track of all sense of time because the next thing you know, you’re entering your home and then you’re in your bedroom, being placed down into the comforts of your bed.

It takes everything in you to peel your eyes back open for just a second and the sight that greets you makes a lazy smile tug at your lips.

“What’s with that smile?” Jimin asks. You hear the beginnings of a chuckle slip through his words so you know he doesn’t mean anything snarky by asking. You blink but it feels like you’re keeping your eyes closed for way longer than necessary each time you do to consider it blinking.

“Thank you…”

“You’ve said that about eleven times tonight too.”

“Yeah…but I’m really thankful…for you doing this…” You say, words slurring into a mumble as you begin to finally give into sleep. The chuckle finally comes out softly as he takes a seat on the space by your head.

“Again, don’t mention it darling.”

You feel fingers comb through your hair and you instantly melt at the touch, eyes slipping close and unconsciously leaning further into it, a content hum escaping past your lips. His ministration nearly makes you miss his next few words.

“You should call your friends, do something for your birthday this weekend. You can figure out who you can take to the concert then.”

You probably should’ve told Jimin that stroking your hair was a sure way to make you knock out in less than five seconds (drunk or not) because the last thing you remembered before falling into a dreamless slumber was mustering up another hum in response and the feeling of soft, dexterous fingers against your scalp.

-

You had woken up embarrassed as heck and with a pounding headache but overall, overwhelmed with giddiness and gratitude for the demon that you had wanted to repay him somehow.

And see, there’s your problem right off the bat; how do you repay a demon besides forfeiting your soul to them? You suppose you could….Jimin doesn’t technically own your soul — you and him were just connected via your soul contract. You snort to yourself, the idea making you realize you’d make the statement of ‘selling your soul to the devil for some BTS tickets’ come true (he’s not the devil per se, but semantics). Still, you’re not sure if you want to jump that gun just yet since it’s a pretty big fucking life changing decision to say the least. But then your mind wanders; if Jimin were to ask however, would you agree?

A small part of you whispers yes.

But then that other half of you is telling you; you’re fucking nuts (you could only guess it’s the human instincts of self-preservation).

You let out a loud sigh, conflicted. Seeing no use in just laying around thinking about it until your hair turns grey though, you decide to get up finally, even if you did have the day off to lounge around. As you go through your routine, you continue to brainstorm on what you can possibly do for Jimin but, to no surprise, you come up with very few, meagre half-ideas that don’t seem right. As you’re finishing and heading to the kitchen to fix yourself a light breakfast, you realized something —

You haven’t really seen JImin at all for the past three days.

Your hand pauses on scraping the cream cheese on your bagel, head tilting to yourself. Now that you think about it, this is probably the second longest time he’s been gone. You never had the need to question it (probably some demon-related business) but that just means it’ll be even harder to do something nice for him. Maybe you should shoot him a text…? You grab your phone and pull up your message thread with him, tapping the text box until you’re confronted with the blinking text cursor. How should you go about this….?

“Hey…. What are you up to?”

You backspace on that; it doesn’t sound or look right to you. You try for a different approach.

“Yoooo….. Where’d ya go? Lol”

Wow, you’ve never backspaced fast enough. You let out a long sigh, slumping shoulders and tilting your head this way and that out of frustration. Why are you thinking so hard on this for? It’s just a check-up text, like asking your….friend if they wanna hang out after a long time. Ugh! Whatever! You puff up like a cat, bracing yourself unnecessarily as you type rapidly the first thing that comes to mind.

“Hey, haven’t heard from you for three days so just wondering where’d you go?”

Then you hit send before you can second guess yourself, tossing your phone onto the counter as if it has the plague. You turn away, not wanting to get sucked into that black hole of waiting around for a text back. So you settle on munching away on your bagel and finishing your cup of tea. You shuffle around the kitchen, cleaning and putting away dishes, all the while trying your darnest to avoid peeping over your shoulder to stare longingly at your phone like some lovestruck teenager waiting for her crush to text back. But after putting away the dishes and cleaning the countertop, you still have yet to receive a reply back from the demon in question.

Another sigh escapes you before you can stop it. You gotta find something else to do so that it’ll take your mind off of it — maybe watch some Netflix? You grab your phone, moving over to the couch to turn on the TV. Scrolling through the Netflix account, you blindly pick a long-running sitcom you had decided to binge one day and then stopped because you completely forgot about it. As it plays, you find yourself only half paying attention to the episode as periodically, you swipe your phone to scroll through your Twitter (and a small part of you begrudgingly admits hoping you’d see Jimin’s reply). As expected, your timeline is filled with BTS related things, whether it be about the first North American concert happening in three days or just compilation videos of members doing XYZ.

You stop on a particular one of Jimin and as the clip plays, a smile immediately stretches across your lips. Watching Jimin acting silly and laughing with his whole body is not something you haven’t seen before, but it never fails to make you laugh every time. You would bet that no one could resist either, even if they might not know who Jimin is because who can help it when he has a smile that turns his cheeks round and soft like mochi while making his eyes crease to the point where he can’t see anymore. Besides that, he always had an aura about him that glows with such warmth that anyone could clearly see how kind, sincere, and hardworking he is. And when he’s on stage — the thought alone makes you shake your head in disbelief because it’s like he becomes a different person. He’s no longer just a talented boy next door, he’s someone who was born to perform with an overflowing amount of charisma and stage presence.

A true contradiction if you’ve ever seen one, Park Jimin has somehow managed to embody both youthful, innocent smiles and sultry, seductive gazes. You chuff a laugh to yourself —  the more you think about it, you suppose it’s a rather good fit that your guardian demon looks like Jimin, and not just because he’s someone you associate affection with. You pause in thought, realizing something. From the start, you always had a clear distinction between your guardian demon and BTS’ Jimin because in spite of being mirrors of each other, they’re completely different, like the difference between the evil and good twin. But as time went on, you discover that they…. are actually quite similar, more than you had initially thought.

It’s….strange.

You absentmindedly scroll through your timeline again, so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t notice you’ve landed on an audio edit —

Of Jimin body rolling and doing all other manners of EXTREMELY RUDE THINGS TO VERY SULTRY MUSIC.

Your phone nearly goes flying out of your hand at how fast you chuck it away, cheeks warm and eyes wide. On second thought, you think it’s better that they’re a little bit more different from each other; having one Jimin who knows how to control his body like that is already one too many.

You shake your head as if to physically rid you of the thoughts because if it stays there any longer, you feel like you won’t be able to look your guardian in the eye for a very, very long time.

So you resolve to finally pay attention to the episode playing out in front of you until Jaehee arrives home. Your evening passes by in a flash and yet still, Jimin hasn’t texted you back. Dejectedly, your eyes cast away from the phone beside you for the umpteenth time that day, hand mindlessly going back to shovelling your fried rice around with your spoon.

“Hey, what’s up? You seem really distracted….” Jaehee comments across from you, concern furrowing her eyebrows.

“Ah… no it’s nothing…” You try to brush off, shooting a small smile but Jaehee doesn’t buy it, even her glasses (a rare sight for even you) doesn’t hide the way her deep brown eyes look at you with such dubiousness that it makes you doubt yourself.

“You keep staring at your phone like a kicked puppy. Is it about the BTS concert? It’s happening pretty soon right?”

You can’t keep the wry smile off your face at the mention of the concert. It gives you away on your sudden changed circumstances regarding it and Jaehee easily picks up on that along with your hesitancy to agree with her assumptions of what’s bothering you.

“Well….About that…” You start off, not knowing how to break this as lightly as possible. “I…actually have plans on going to their next stop…?”

The reaction is immediate, Jaehee’s hand stills and her eyes shoot wide open as she blurts out in rapid succession, “What?! Really?! So you got tickets?! I thought you said you weren’t?!”

It makes your lips quirk up more, her enthusiasm overwhelming you to where you had to abandon your dinner altogether to tackle all of her questions. “Yeah, I thought I wasn’t too. But then…Well…” You take the time to unlock your phone to pull up the solid proof to your claims, sliding it closer for Jaehee to see. She picks it up and gasps, a loud, drawn out noise with a dramatic flair at the end, eyes practically bulging from you to the phone screen and back.

“Oh my God, shut up!” Her rising excitement is contagious and so you can’t help but to return it with a wide grin. “You’re really doing it! Is it for the upcoming concert this week? Or the one after that?”

“The one after that.”

“You’re going with one of your friends then yeah?”

“Uh…Yeah…” Your hand comes up to rub your neck, already feeling your cheeks heating up. “I’m going with a friend of mine. Ji— Julien! Julien — he’s actually the one who got me the tickets.”

Even with the partial name slip, Jaehee drives forward, this new development clearly taking hold of her if her gaping mouth and wide sparkling eyes is anything to go by. “Oh my GOD! Are you for real!? Julien got you these tickets?”

When you nod, abashed, she only squeals delightedly before gushing, “Y/N! I think you found yourself a keeper!”

“Huh?” The sound escapes you before you can help yourself along with the rising heat of your cheeks. Jaehee passes the phone back to you, a knowing smile taking form on her lips.

“Julien seems like he’s really into you and totally gets you. I mean, to me, this is like the ultimate profession of love in your language — getting you tickets to see your favourite band.”

You feel your blush intensify at such a profound statement, wondering whether or not you should even mention that he’s paying for all the travel expenses as well and that on top of the tickets, that’s what you’re troubled over. So you settle on going with a half-truth; you think Jaehee might end up coercing you to marry Jimin right at this moment if you told her everything.

“Well, yeah I think it’s great and all but I feel really bad. I wanna do something nice in return for him.” You sigh, “I just don’t know what.”

“Ah…So that’s what’s bothering you.” Jaehee nods, leaning back in her chair with a pensive look, arms crossed. “You could maybe….treat him to dinner?”

Do demons even eat anything? You think to yourself. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jimin consume anything for sustenance other than alcohol but even then, you think it’s just for the heck of it instead of a need. You shake your head — if it were anyone else, the suggestion would’ve been perfect.

“I don’t know what he likes…? He has…” You fumble for the right words to cover up your….special circumstances. “Dietary restrictions.”

“Ah…”

With that, both you and Jaehee fall back into a contemplative silence. Every once in a while, Jaehee would pipe up with another suggestion but they all end with a shake of your head.

“Ah well, I’m sure something will come up. Like maybe after your trip….?” Jaehee wriggles her eyebrows suggestively and you nearly choke on your last spoonful of fried rice. She barks a laugh at that, assuring you that it was just a joke (“…unless?”, she had tagged on which earned her an indignant smack from you and a cackle from her). You clean up and pack away leftovers before you eventually bid each other goodnight, heading off to wash up and settle for the night.

You were halfway through an episode of a drama that caught your interest when your phone lights up, the chiming notification muffled against your bedsheets. Your eyes instantly whip to it and when you catch sight of the name, you pause everything you’re doing, swiping to pull up the text thread.

“Miss me already? You’re so sweet cherub

(You roll your eyes)

But since you asked, I’ve just been doing errands here and there, mainly for your trip. Nothing to worry about.”

You huff quietly, though an endeared smile creeps on your lips at the thought all the same. However, the guilt indefinitely creeps back to you as you find yourself worrying your bottom lip at the mention of his generous act. You really want to do something nice for him, show him just how grateful you are that he’s going out of his way to do this for you (you honestly think this might even be out of his contract agreement as a temp guardian). At this point, you think you’ll have to settle for something like a bottle of alcohol — it’s the only sure thing you know that he’ll enjoy. Or maybe…

You shake your head; you need to give more thought on that.

“I’m just making sure you didn’t accidentally discorporate or something okay?

Who else is gonna pay for my flight and hotel XP

But I’ll make it up to you when I get to the duty free at the airport. I know you like alcohol but I’m still a broke college student so just accept my token of gratitude that way.”

You type, sending it off before you can overthink it. God you hate this — since when did texting Jimin become such a nail biting thing? You blow out a stream of air, flopping back onto your pillows in frustration.

Get it together, you tell yourself, patting your cheek only to come away scowling from how to warm it feels. A chime saves you from wallowing in your self-consciousness any further, bringing up your phone to check his response.

“Don’t worry about it, just go and have fun.”

Your heart involuntarily flips and you have to take a moment, putting your phone down for a bit — he’s not making this any easier. You roll around in your bed for a couple more minutes, reading and re-reading his message as the metaphorical butterflies in your stomach run wild. Once you’ve managed to reel in the rampant onslaught of feelings, shaking out your trembling fingers, it makes you realize something else; something rather important. The corners of your mouth tug downwards and after hesitating, you decide to shoot your shot.

“So… Are you not coming at all?”

When he doesn’t reply back immediately, regret instantly makes you backtrack, hastily typing an explanation but his response bubble pops up, stopping you.

“Never would’ve pinned you as a clingy type but I don’t mind ;)”

You have to smother your face in your pillow to muffle the loud groan you let out. When you get it out of your system, you race to finish what you were typing and hit send.

“I’m asking because we’re technically bound to each other by a blood contract and you never disclosed the finer details of it i.e. if large distance effects it or not.

So I need to know if it’ll be a problem because if so then you have to come too even if it means not being near the arena.”

“Haha, relax cherub. I get what you mean.

And you’re not wrong, distance does effect the bond of the contract. The farther away we are from each other, the less of a read on you I get. If anything were to happen to you, I won’t be able to help.”

You figured that much. It wouldn’t make sense in having a contract at all if important factors such as distance between the two parties didn’t have any effect. That just means either one of you could run away from the other and that would leave you both vulnerable; you in harms way and him risking the chance of losing a bail for his mischief with heaven. Besides that, a small part of you admits that you’d feel a little more comfortable traveling if you knew Jimin was going to be with you since this would be your first time flying with just another friend, even if it’s not that far out — it’s still a new place neither you nor your friend are familiar with.

As if reading your mind, another text pops up from him.

“I’ll be close by, I promise.”

A smile breaks out onto your lips, the butterflies erupting again and though they’re restless inside you from his words, you’re put at ease.

“I trust you…”

“…It’s late, you should go to sleep.”

“Okay… Goodnight.”

“Sweet dreams cherub.”

-

Dark chocolate eyes remain fixated on the screen for a moment longer, a number of emotions swirling within his chest threatening to become a hurricane, all from three simple words.

I trust you.

He thinks you a fool — there’s never, in the history of mankind’s existence, been a human who had openly said that they trusted a demon.

It never leads to good things.

But he thinks himself a fool too because those words mean more to him than he could ever imagined. Shit, he’s in deep, the acceptance of it pulls out a dry laugh from Jimin. He drops the phone away from his face, arm flopping to one side as his view shifts to that of the starless night sky above him. He’s had a lot to think on these past days ever since your birthday and though it wasn’t exactly a lie when he told you he was running errands, most of that time was spent trying to sort out his feelings.

The fact of reality is Jimin doesn’t have a lot of time left as your temporary guardian. By the looks of it, he’s pretty much done a good portion of what heaven had demanded of him and once he gets the official decree, the contract between you and him will be broken and he would have no business to linger around you less it was to tempt you into forfeiting your soul to hell — something he’d rather not do.

Yet in spite of it all, the thought of leaving you is something he couldn’t imagine doing, would not accept at this point. But as long as he is around, Jimin will only become a burden on your life, a toxic weight chaining you down in a pit of misery for he is a demon; a creature that causes misfortune on others and thrives off of it and as such, you’ll never be blessed with the good karma you receive from doing good deeds because he is not capable of bringing it. Any and all good things that happen to you will be short-lived in exchange for a hefty price because that is the demon code — nothing is without a cost, a sacrifice. And thus, he cannot remain with you as a temporary guardian nor demon.

Unless….

In his other hand, he grasps at the bottle of whiskey and drags it over this lips, the liquor leaving a burning trail down his throat in the big gulps he takes. It distracts him from his troubled thoughts but as per usual, the effects is much too short to offer any real relief. He doesn’t have long to sulk about it though because he senses another presence coming towards him.

“I have to say, this is uncharacteristic of you to have willingly called for me brother.” Jungkook steps close enough so that he towers over Jimin, forcing him to stare up at that annoyingly handsome, twenty-something year old idol’s face that he’s so fond of, doe-eyes gleaming mischievously with dark wavy locks framing either side of his face. “I’m a little suspicious.”

Jimin snorts, a hand wrenching free from one of his belongings to reach up and pinch the younger’s ankle. Jungkook skips out of the way with a throaty giggle before rounding back to the elder’s side. He makes himself comfortable, sitting down next to Jimin in his oversized t-shirt and baggy sweatpants that makes Jimin think what a waste of a body to be dressed like that. They sit in silence for a while, letting the city night life below become their white noise as Jimin watches the inky abyss above him with unseeing eyes while Jungkook carefully observes him.

He’s not unfamiliar with Jimin’s brooding and aloof nature, has seen it enough times over their years of being friends to the point where he’s able to read him quite easily. But now, as he gazes upon this perfect mask, there is no signs of indifference marring the almost angelic features, not even a hint of annoyance. Instead, the emotion he sees is melancholy — something that he’s never seen before but it is there, clear as day. The sight of it stirs an uneasy feeling in the pit of Jungkook’s stomach but he refrains from asking directly, choosing to hold onto the belief that perhaps it’s not anything serious. For now, he’ll do what he does best; prod for information.

“You seem awfully moodier than usual…. Has poppet’s gloominess finally affected you too?”

He sees two eyes slide over to focus on him, their colour a subdued ruby that belies the warning beneath them. But they seep away just as quickly as Jimin doesn’t move to enact said threat, not even verbally and his eyes drift back to staring listlessly above him. It has Jungkook quirking his eyebrows and before he can let his curiousity overtake him, Jimin’s voice cuts through the still night air.

“If you must know, she’s no longer not going to the concert.” He states plainly, “I’ve made sure of that.”

It takes a while for the words to register in Jungkook’s head but when he does process them, he’s gobsmacked.

“You didn’t…!”

When he’s met with no response, it only further confirms that indeed Jimin had gifted you tickets to your most sought after concert. Jungkook’s mouth falls open but he could produce no coherent words from the shock. It’s only after a minute of shuffling around, not knowing what to do with himself that the younger demon finally throws his head back with a loud bark of laughter.

“I cannot believe this!” He chokes out between cackles, “You actually bought tickets for her even after you claiming you’re not a ‘miracle worker’! Brother, you hypocrite!” Jungkook’s gives a hardy smack onto Jimin’s shoulder and ignores the glare sent his way from it. Once he calms down, wiping at the corners of his eyes, Jungkook continues teasing.

“So did she promise her soul to you in five years time or something? Surely you would’ve taken advantage of such a golden opportunity.”

Again, he’s met with silence from his companion only this time when it drags on, the air shifts and the unnerving feeling grows within Jungkook, the playful smile slipping from his lips. His thoughts begin to race with a multitude of questions, all coming to a conclusion he doesn’t think he’s ready to face yet. He opens his mouth in an attempt to carry on the light nature of the conversation but unfortunately for him, Jimin begs to differ, as if finally growing tired of humouring Jungkook.

“Enough with the small talk; like you said, there’s a reason why I’ve called you here.” Jimin says, his tone low with a seriousness that makes Jungkook think he’s about to deliver some grave news. “I have something to ask of you.”

From the way he says it, Jungkook feels like it’ll be a loaded question and it puts an immediate stop to any possible attempts of deflecting. Despite the darkness surrounding them, Jungkook could clearly see the swirling emotions that reflect in Jimin’s eyes, even if his face, for the most part, shows no signs of that turmoil. He wouldn’t have known just how conflicted his companion really was otherwise and it makes a small part of him not wish to know what the elder wanted to ask. But curiosity, the double-edged sword, has him gripped in its tight hold so he swallows, bracing himself with a shield of feigned disinterest.

“What is it, oh dear brother of mine?”

Jimin lets out a heavy breath, as if he too was bracing himself for something but he’s had time to mull it over thoroughly, his decision made and it’s now or never. So he pulls himself together, schooling his expression and he utters the words he knows will surely become a catalyst in disrupting the very order of heaven and hell itself.

“…Is it possible for a demon to become an angel again?”

His quiet words seem to ring even louder in the night that it’s impossible to be misheard by anyone. But that’s exactly what Jungkook wants to do, tries so desperately to convince himself to do, to the point where people will call him delusional. The question is so ridiculous that the younger demon is stupefied for what seems like an eternity before a loud laugh of disbelief escapes him in one choked exhale, the sound forced and unnatural.

“W-What? That’s— Don’t be ridiculous brother! You and I both know that —“

“Ezazel.”

All laughter ceases immediately at the name he had not heard in so long. It leaves him short of breath, shuddering as he inhales sharply like he’s been doused by cold water. Jaw clenching, Jungkook swallows as his eyes focus onto Jimin, the irises beginning to simmer a deep golden topaz behind the dark chocolate hues as he fights the tremors that threaten to overtake his body. Jungkook shoots up from his seat.

“You…” He strains, raising a threatening finger to Jimin, voice tight with effort to keep it steady. “I don’t know what games you’re playing at but—“

“No games I’m afraid,” Jimin says with a quiet, breathy laugh, an eerie calmness about him that has the younger demon slowly becoming more enraged. “Demons were once angels before they fell from grace, it doesn’t happen often but the fact of it is true. So surely, if that is the case, the opposite can be done as well.” Gaze flitting to Jungkook, Jimin adds, “Am I wrong?”

“I—“ The younger struggles to formulate words, teeth gritting and eyes glaring down at him, “What does it even matter? It’s impossible either way!”

“So there is a way?”

Jungkook freezes, mind stuttering at how he had accidentally got the tables on him turned by Jimin, but he supposes it’s only natural; behind that angelic face lies a cunning demon after all and unfortunately for him, one that always seems have a way with his words. Still, that won’t stop Jungkook from clamming up about what he knows or doesn’t on this matter.

“Like I said, it doesn’t matter whether I do or not hypothetically because I won’t tell you regardless!” Jungkook is huffing as he gets all of that out in one seething breath, his young face contorting into what Jimin worries will become a permanent stony scowl. It makes the corner of his lips twitch at how cute he looks but he suppresses it, not wanting to perhaps anger Jungkook more — he needs answers and he knows Jungkook is his best, if not, only chance at getting them. So Jimin remains steadfast, determined to getting Jungkook to spill.

“I don’t have much time left here…”

“Exactly, so why do you even want to know something like this? What’s the point?”

The question triggers an unintentional chortle from Jimin, gaze returning back to the desolate night sky briefly, the barest of smiles pulling at plush lips from the irony of it all and Jungkook could only stare, perplexed.

“I…” Jimin starts, trying to search for the right words. “Let’s just say I’ve made up my mind on something…for someone …”

The younger demon’s mouth falls open, moving the slightest to mouth the last phrase Jimin had said to himself as his eyebrows furrow in pensive confusion. His head cocks to one side, not understanding before all at once, it clicks together. Eyes shooting wide open, Jungkook whips his gaze to Jimin once again, a mess of emotion reflecting in them — shock mixed with disbelief mixed with outrage and disappointment that eventually all melt into a burnt, golden ember that seems to consume his whole sclera.

“You can’t be fucking serious….”

“Ez—“

Jimin’s attempt at quelling the younger’s temper fails as he’s quickly cut off by Jungkook as he starts to pace around in his spot, the anger rolling off of his broad shoulders in waves. “Look, it’s all in good fun when I said you’ve gone soft for her. Hell I think she’s just okay too but to risk your life for her?! Do you even hear how crazy that sounds?!” He scoffs, lips twisting into a sneer. “You know for all the decades of experience you claim to have, you sure aren’t really smart after all huh?”

The condescending comment makes Jimin narrow his gaze as he stands to step up to the younger, shoulders squared and eyes flaring to life to match the intensity of Jungkook’s.

“You don’t know what it’s like to live all those years, drifting from one decade to another until they all blur together, being stuck dealing with the same rotten piece of shit humans that can’t get sent to hell fast enough and when you think you’ve seen them all, they just keep on crawling out of the woodwork like fucking cockroaches.” A sort of pitying look softens his features for a split second as he says, “You’re still too young to understand.”

Whereas Jungkook’s voice had risen in volume with his growing rage, Jimin’s remains in a low, even tone; a cold, quiet anger simmering under his calm facade like a coiled snake ready to strike at any moment. Jungkook’s jaw ticks in defiance, not backing down but growing more agitated because he realizes…. He doesn’t recognize the person in front of him anymore. The revelation saddens him but most of all, it scares him.

“The only thing I don’t understand is how you think she’s any different; in the end, humans are all fickle creatures and you’re only fooling yourself to think otherwise.” The younger demon grits, glaring daggers down at the other demon. With one final shake of his head, he sets his hardened gaze on his dear friend and mentor, already turning away. He needs to leave, needs to get away from having to divulge his secrets or sort his feelings out, maybe both. Either way, it’s for Jimin’s own good. “I won’t let you do something as stupid as throwing away your life for one seemingly decent human girl.”

“You—!” Jimin begins, making a grab to spin Jungkook back around by the shoulder but all he grasps are wisps of black smoke as the younger apparates away.

Slipped right through his fingers, quite literally. Jimin ruefully scoffs, fist clenching as he exhales deeply, trying to rid of the tension that had stiffened his body. It’s no use though, and he’s again left alone to stew on his own except this time in a much fouler mood. His eyes fall to his forgotten bottle of whiskey, not much of the dark liquor left inside. Regardless, he picks it up and drains it in one go, a sad attempt at drinking away his problems.

When he swallows the last bit of the bitter alcohol with not even a hint of that numbing relief, he smashes the bottle against the ground, the crashing of glass breaking against asphalt intermingled with the sharp shout of frustration Jimin lets out. His shoulders heave in a struggle to regain his composure, one hand covering his eyes as if he’s willing away an incessant headache and after a few more deep, slow breaths, he somewhat relaxes; the searing hot anger running through his veins ebbing away into a tempered flame. Tilting his head back, his hand moves to run through his locks, tugging slightly at the roots as he looks out at the darkness above him — still no stars in sight no matter how long he stared.

Funny how a few nights before, he was staring up at the exact same starless sky and felt more at peace with himself than he’d ever been but now it all seems like a premonition, a bad omen of what’s to come. His lips pull back into a spiteful sneer; how apropos. Not like that would stop him, starless skies be damned, because ultimately they’re all the same to him anyways. It’s ruefully does he admit that they’ve only started to become something beautiful to look at when he had met you.

-

It’s with mild amusement and disbelief that you take up Jimin’s advice on ‘hosting’ a belated birthday get together with your friends. At first you were doubtful, with what few of the close friends you do have, the chances of them being able to come out were far more slimmer than average. But after working up some courage, you go for it anyways, shooting off a tentative text message in the group chat to see if anyone is up to hanging around, get some bubble tea and maybe lunch…? You’re open to ideas.

You weren’t expecting much but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel pleasantly surprised and happy that they were free and were excited to get together after such a long time. So with plans made and set, there’s only one thing left for you to worry about; just how are you gonna bring up the fact that you got two tickets to the concert and that you could only bring one of them? The thought instantly makes you anxious — it’s like you’re forced to pick favourites and you by no means favour a friend over another. But you have no choice, you only have the one ticket to give away.

You’ve managed to worry yourself up until the very day as you get up early the next morning. Should you maybe not bring it up as a group in person? Or would that make things look worse if you approach one person through text? But even then, you can’t guarantee the person you pick would be able to go either, then that just means you have to guess who’s most likely abled. Agh! You’re losing your mind over this and if you let it go any further, it would ruin your mood. So you decide to put it aside for now and see where the day takes you during this little outing. If the mood seems right then you’ll bring it up, if not….

Okay, no more thinking on this, just go with the flow. With one last shake of your head, you concentrate on getting to the designated meeting spot, determined to have a good time in the company of your friends. Luckily it’s easy because as soon as you’re all gathered together, it’s like no time has passed between anyone. You all fall into conversations comfortably, caught up and joked around with one another but of course eventually, the topic ends up on the subject of all your worries.

“Ugh! I’m so sad I can’t go to this concert!” One of your friend, Jess, whines, turning away from her phone screen as she no doubt must’ve caught sight of some fancams that happened for their first stop. “Why’d they have to skip over our city this year? I thought it was such a good turn out!”

Your other friend lets out a heavy sigh, slumping slightly at the mention of such tragedy. “I don’t know man, it sucks though! I was so ready to go! But the money for the travel on top of the ticket is too much for me.”

“Right? After saying they would come back next year too….All men do is lie.”

Your circle of friends laughs and you do too in spite of growing more and more fidgety in your seat, nervously sipping on your drink. You think this is the perfect time to break your silence on the deep secret you’re holding if you weren’t absolutely breaking out into a cold sweat simultaneously. You know you have to act fast though, before you lose the timing so in an effort to keep on it but not give yourself away, you throw in what sounds like to you some painfully awkward two cent.

“What if there was, like…a contest and the prize was a round trip to see the BTS concert….” Your hypothetical instantly catches the attention of your friends and you nearly shrink back out of intimidation, but you swallow the feeling, trying to keep casual about it and hope that your face isn’t as red as it feels. “But there’s only two tickets, ‘cus that’s how it usually is, so you can only take one of your friends, so like, how would you even decide that?”

Each of your friends hum in consideration, falling into a pensive silence before one of them speaks up, “Oh my God, I wouldn’t even know.”

“Right? Last minute trips would definitely not work for me like, as much as I hate to say it, I need money and can’t afford to quit even though I hate my job.” Soohee sighs.

“Pfft, I’d probably quit like….YOLO this is BTS; for my boys.”

“Or call in sick? Like,” Rosa says before she makes her voice sound more nasally and scratchy to portray a sickly tone, coughing in between sentences, ”’Oh sorry, I don’t think I can come in for at least three days, I’ve caught a really serious cold okay bye.’”

That earns a peal of laughter from everyone but your heart is pounding through it as you grin along. “But like, no hard feelings if that ever happens right?” You can’t help putting out there, masking your anxiety for playfulness.

“Yeah no, I mean we’re all friends here right?”

“Well….I might feel just a little bit salty if I didn’t get a ticket.” Mei jokes, scrunching her face but everyone all knows from her exaggeration that she means no real harm if it comes down to it. If anything, it successfully pulls another round of light-hearted chuckles from the group. Overall though, everyone collectively nods in agreement or verbally voices it and it’s enough to put you at ease considerably. The feeling of gratefulness warms you over at the genuineness you’re witnessing, making you think that you were worried over nothing. So when everyone settles down, you take a deep breath and muster up all the courage you have to say the next few but very decisive words.

“Okay because like…..I may or may not need to confess something… And you’re all probably gonna hate me for it.” You begin wryly with a crooked smile. Your friends perk up like meerkats towards your direction, always ready for some good tee. Rosa has one eyebrow quirked, eyes widen comically to pin you with a cartoonishly accusatory stare.

“What? Did you secretly score tickets without telling us?”

You nearly choke on your own spit, inhaling too sharply and you have to fan yourself for a second before you squeak out, “I mean… I-I have a good friend…who’s friends with someone who was part of a…group trip for the next stop of BTS’ tour in North America that dropped out so now he needs two people to take their spots so they asked me if I wanted to go and if I knew anyone else who wanted to go so…yeah! I have tickets to their next stop so do any of you guys wanna come with me?!”

It was a mess; you tripped and stuttered your entire way through, words spilling out faster by the time you finish your tall tale for this miracle. Your face feels like it’s on fire again as you mentally bash your head against a wall because anyone can smell this bullshit from a mile away and you don’t think you even explained that flights and hotel were covered for this trip right? Oh my God how are you going to explain that?!

As you mentally berate yourself, you don’t notice how all of your friends are stunned into a shocked silence, each with their mouths agape in various sizes until Jess sputters, hands flailing about in front of her before she’s gripping the table, leaning over from her seat on the opposite end of where you were.

“Hold on! Wait a minute! Pause! You’re saying you got connections to their next stop?!”

Her outburst causes a chain reaction, snapping all of your remaining friends out of their stupor to shoot rapid fire questions at you.

“Like are we talking free free? Or like they’re trying to sell tickets for cheap cheap?”

“You said group trip right? Like does that mean the spots dropped are free to take but like we gotta give a deposit or something?”

“Are you sure this isn’t some sort of scam? How good friends are you with this person?”

In turn, your mind goes racing to come up with more plausible answers to the loopholes they’re pointing out. You swear if you were starring in the movie ‘Inside Out’, the inside of your mind would be a scene of chaos — alarms blaring and all of your personified emotions running in a panicked frenzy yelling at the top of their lungs. Frantically before you abort mission altogether, you grabbed onto the one thing you can answer with full confidence.

“The person who told me about this and is offering is someone I’ve known for a while — I trust them so I know this isn’t a scam for sure.” You reassure, holding up your hands in a placating manner. “They said the group does these….trips really often and like, everyone has a lot of air miles or something so….a lot of the times some people fly for cheap or even free; something like that? And the deposit was already made by the two who were supposed to go and it’s non-refundable so they said they’d rather find someone just so it doesn’t go to waste. I don’t know, they explained it to me but it’s sort of complicated.”

“Wow, this sounds like  a bunch of rich people….” Mei comments, blinking in astonishment. “Must be nice…”

“Then what about a place to stay? Is it like…a hotel or an AirBnB? Is it even covered or is that something that needs to be split and paid?”

“….I think that’s the only thing left to be paid…?” You lie (along with this entire story but you have to add some sort of element of plausibility! It’s more suspicious to have everything come at no charge than for at least one thing to be paid for). “So yeah! Umm…anyone down?” You finish quickly with a slightly nervous laugh, eyes shaking.

You wait with bated breath as you watch your friends consider your proposition albeit still dubiously. You don’t blame them; you would be too but you can’t outright tell them the whole truth because that sounds like an even bigger lie than what you had already just told. Besides, you’re always known for being a truthful and trustworthy person (minus this big ol’ outright lie here but it’s with good reasons), not to mention not that gullible when it comes to these things — you consider yourself to be a pretty big skeptic! So surely….

“Okay but like…just one last question….” Rosa pipes up, sounding awfully serious that it has you a little on edge. Your shoulders unconsciously hunch up as you peer at her, waiting for her to call you out entirely but then, “Is your friend’s friend in the market for a sugar baby? Or like know anyone in their circle who is? ‘Cus…. I can give them my business card.”

That seems to dispel whatever remaining suspicions left as everyone bursts out laughing in solidarity, yourself included. The rest of the conversation regarding the trip transitions smoothly to everyone re-evaluating their schedules to see if they’re able to accompany you (within reason, much to the chagrin of all parties). It ends with people who were most likely to be available to settle a few final things before messaging you to say whether it’s a go or not, no fuss or muss (“because we’re all adults here”, Soohee iterates proudly). Overall, you’re very satisfied with the outcome having went way better than expected, the heavy weight lifting off your shoulders and the rest of the day resumes with more laughs, dinner, and even surprise belated birthday gifts (that got you choked up).

By the time you’re heading home, you’re feeling so happy that you nearly walk right past a certain demon. It’s only when he calls out to you do you startle out of your euphoric reverie.

“It worries me how increasingly prone you’re becoming to being at death’s door.”

“Oh shit! Jesus Jimin!”

“Flattered but point proven.” He chastises. Lowering your hand from your chest, you pout up at him before turning away to continue walking down the street to your home. He falls into steps with you easily, what with his long, lean legs but you’re in a good mood and if you’re being honest…. It’s nice to see him after so long. Giving him a once over, you note that Jimin’s still sporting an ashy brown for hair colour, cut short to where you can see a hint of an undercut with his cartilage silver piercing gleaming even in the low lights of the street lamps. He’s dressed in that casual chic way you’ve grown to know him for — one hand shoved into the pocket of his black jeans with a tear on each knee and a simple light denim button down with a square pocket with the words ’Saint Laurent’ scribbled on in black cursive ink. The sight makes you roll your eyes but smile nonetheless; it wouldn’t be him without it.

“I’m actually surprised to see you here; thought you were busy with….stuff.”

“Hey, you’re still technically my charge so my heads on the chopping block if you get distracted by a BTS billboard while crossing the street when you’re not supposed to.”

You choke a gasp of indignation, giving him a shove even though it does nothing more than make him teeter to one side slightly. It also pulls out a deep musical chuckle from him and you find your heart singing along to the tune. You freeze — Oh God, what was that? Your heart skipped a beat just now and it’s not because you had a good day.

“I take it things went well with today by the looks of that dopey smile.” His voice distracts you before you can get lost in dissecting the foreign feeling. When you turn your wide gaze up at him, he merely gestures to the little gift bag containing a new version of a BTS album you don’t own along with other goodies your friends know you’ll enjoy.

“O-Oh, yeah! It went way better than I expected actually. Everyone came out and we went for bubble tea, chilled and then had dinner. They even surprised me with late birthday presents, which they didn’t have to. Also, three of them said they would let me know if they can schedule time off to come with me; two of them said it was a most likely so that’s good.” When you finish recounting your day’s events, you suddenly feel shy, sounding like a grade schooler who’s telling their parents about their first day of school. But Jimin simply nods, humming here and there to let you know he’s listening. You both eventually reach the steps leading to your door and you dig around in your purse for your keys as he waits.

“That is good. You’ll have someone to go with,” Jimin pauses, teasing smile pulling back his perfectly pink lips, “and I finally won’t have to babysit you as much.”

You glower at him but when all he does is stick his tongue out at you, you roll your eyes with a shake of your head. “Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.” And as retaliation, you mumble. “You big tsundere.”

“You know I heard that right?”

“I know, I was counting on that.” You say. As an afterthought, you stick your tongue out at him too and it’s his turn to roll his eyes. You clear your throat roughly to disguise the self-satisfying giggle that escapes your lips, turning back to unlocking your door, “Now are you coming in or not?”

You miss the look of conflict that flits across Jimin’s face as he hesitates on the invitation but ultimately decide against it, schooling his expression back with a carefully placed laid-back smile by the time you turn to look at him. “I’m afraid not; you know how it is.”

You let out a noncommittal hum; you figured and you want to sigh, a bit disappointed at his short visit but you can’t be mad at that. “Right; getting up to no good as per usual?”

“You know it, darling.”

The gruff noise you let out is more or less done to hide your traitorous heart; the term of endearment hitting differently this time around. You cross your arms for good measures, like a physical attempt at keeping your heart in check before it bursts right out of your chest as chew on your bottom lip. “Well, good night then I guess — try not to get discorporated and all that jazz.”

His smiles widens into a full on grin, teeth on display and eyes creasing into crescents. Just when you can’t get blind-sided anymore by him and his unfair beauty, Jimin leans in closer to you, hovering so close that you have to take a half step back and pray he for once, doesn’t see how quickly your face is reddening or how fast your heart is beating. Turning his head slightly, he taps the cheek facing you with a finger, “How about a goodnight kiss for good luck then?”

“Bye you dingus.” You deadpan, ears burning as you clatter through your door and promptly shut it once you step through it, heart pounding a mile a minute.

Jimin watches you go, the Cheshire grin growing into more of a fond smile. He doesn’t think he’ll get tired of seeing you so flustered; face flushed and lips chewing nervously. It’s an image he’ll keep to himself, another memory he’ll cherish of you amongst others because when he finally steps away from your door, it might be for the last time he’ll ever see you.

-

Ever since Jungkook had met Jimin, he had began to believe that there was a higher being controlling the universe and all that are within it — and he’s not talking about the forces Upstairs™. Some people might call it ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’, an intangible force who assumes no form and takes no sides.  

It’s the only way he can explain how he’d end up in this predicament. It’s a whole mess of irony that he thinks even God themselves couldn’t have seen or been capable of doing. He wants to both laugh and cry at the same time….and also strangle Jimin. Jungkook lets out a loud disgruntled groan, dragging his hands through his hair for the second time, dark brown locks mussing up wildly from the gesture. In the solitude of an abandoned rooftop building, he had been sitting by the edge lost in his troubled thoughts on the recent conversation he had with Jimin. He doesn’t know where to begin to unpack all of that.

He should probably start with the most obvious; how stupid the other demon is being and probably the most outrageously dim-witted thing he’s heard since….since his life as a supernatural entity! No sane being of their kind would risk giving up their life for one mortal being, let alone willingly (some may argue guardian angels but you’d be surprised that they’re way more political about it; not just anyone gets that sort of privilege). Jungkook can’t understand it, can’t seem to find words to process it but the more he tries, the more he realizes that it’s not so much about what Jimin wants to do for you, rather it’s what he did to him.

What Jimin plans to do had awakened a long forgotten wound of his that he thought had disappeared, leaving him restless and a bitter taste in his mouth. It dredged up distant memories that felt like they were from another life time ago, or even of someone else’s — his memories, but ones that were best left to be forgotten because they weren’t something he looked back on fondly. It was a time where he felt like a lost puppy; didn’t know who he was or what he was meant to be and so, felt like he didn’t belong anywhere. So how ironic is it that he was able to find himself when he met Jimin, of all things, a demon.

But by no means did they hit it right off the bat when they first crossed paths. No, it was very clear that the bored demon had no intentions of befriending Jungkook at all — in fact, he always had an air of distaste whenever he decided to be a nuisance to Jungkook,, often times appearing when he least expected. And the feeling was mutual, so least to say, neither of them could have predicted that the exact opposite happened.

Over time, Jimin had unknowingly grown fond of Jungkook in a way where he sees parts of himself in the younger while Jungkook had begun to see that Jimin really did have a heart somewhere in his chest after all. Jimin had been the one to give him a choice, opened his eyes to seeing the possibilities, to not be afraid of being himself and because of that, Jimin is someone….he cares about, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud.

So he has his reasons.

Besides, what’s so special about you anyways? Sure, you let him crash your place from time to time, bake some bombass chocolate chip cookies and he guess you’re pretty funny for a human but other than that, you’re just human; one small blip among the millions — billions — of other fragile souls on this earth that are all destined to perish with time.

Just what does Jimin see in you that's worth protecting?

Well, he supposes sitting around thinking about it wouldn’t give him answers. So with a stretch, Jungkook gets up, peering out at the city horizon as the first warm rays of orange light breaks through the midnight blue of the night sky. He watches for a few moments longer as it becomes brighter and brighter until the sun had chased away any remaining darkness left. It looks to be another clear day, only a few clouds dotting the azure sky but it’s as they say, sometimes a storm can be just around the corner.

-

When you wake the next day, it’s way before your alarm clock that you set for work but instead of feeling bitter about losing precious minutes of extra sleep, you decide to just lay in bed, using the time to slowly wake at your own pace until you feel like you’re up to the task of getting up finally. You also feel refreshed and in a good mood, oddly enough. Kind of sad if you think too long on it, how this feeling is so foreign to you that you can’t even recall the last time you had felt this way; maybe because they were all too short-lived to begin with anyways. Ah, you forcefully stop yourself from exploring those thoughts any further or else you’ll spiral and start needlessly worrying. You’re living in the now so you should enjoy it and that’s one inspirational quote you’ll actually live by. How couldn’t you when you’re literally going to a BTS concert in less than two weeks.

…

Holy crap you have less than two weeks to prepare.

You bolt upright in bed, suddenly overwhelmed with a pressing matter at hand. Your heart flutters in a strange mixture of excitement and mild panic as you sit there, completely stunned at the fact that this is happening and you still have so much you need to do!

That has you getting up in no time, going through your morning routine faster than you can comprehend with your mind racing with what seems like millions of different thoughts per second. You rush around, trying to do ten things at once; check your phone for any new updates from your friends, make yourself breakfast, finding out where the heck you had left your luggage case, and before you know it, you’re scrambling out the door because you lost track of time for work.

You make it with just barely two minutes to spare but once you start your shift, time seems to reverse its effect on you and the hours begin to tick by slower than watching grass grow. Doesn’t help that you were stuck as a cashier again, the bane of your existence. Though your manager assigns tasks for you to get done around the queue line, you can barely get far enough before running back to your register to cash out any customers that approach. Plus, it has you feeling more like a meerkat in the Savannah; constantly having to pause in concentration to pop your head up to keep an eye out to avoid leaving customers waiting. So in short, you didn’t get anything done.

It leaves you feeling disgruntled but ultimately, you can’t find the strength to care anyways (you aren’t paid enough to). You’re on your last two hours of your shift, cashing out the last customer before the line is deemed clear for you to scurry back over to the closest aisle you were reorganizing but when you round the corner into it, you bump into a body.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you!” You gasp out hurriedly, the blow disorienting you for a second so when you finally get a good look at the person, you almost do a double take, eyes widening in surprise. “Jungkook?”

“Hey, poppet — been a while huh?”

And it has, now that you get a good look at him. He’s dressed like he always does — a baggy black shirt that looks to be two sizes too big on him and matching black jogger pants but his hair on the other hand; the dark locks are much longer than you had last remembered, the fringes splitting in the middle nearly reach down to either sides of his chin, falling in thick, wavy locks. It has you starstruck; only ever used to seeing the actual Jungkook from BTS with short, coiffed hair either parted slightly to the side or with fringes flopping over his forehead. If you dare say it, this new look has you almost falling for him, almost. You eventually compose yourself and, after glancing around to make sure no one was around, you drag him deeper into the aisle to continue your conversation.

“Yeah it has,” You begin, feeling strangely awkward but nonetheless happy to see the younger demon. “Thought your visa expired or something.”

Jungkook shakes his head before sweeping the hair out of his eyes briefly as they gleam along with the barest hints of those two bunny teeth through his smile. He’s cheeky as you had remember him being, but for some reason, you sense that it’s been dialled down by a couple of notches like something is weighing on his mind. Just as you’re about to ask what he’s been up to without being too invasive right off the bat, he speaks up first.


“When do you get off work?”

“Uh..In like,” You check your watch, “Two hours or so?”

“Good, let’s go somewhere after.”

His proposal takes you off-guard, this probably being the first time he’s ever asked you to go anywhere with him, much like Jimin before he spontaneously took you star-gazing (or lack thereof) for your birthday. Now you know something is definitely up, and you can’t help but eye him suspiciously for a good minute. He picks up on your skepticism and only chortles a laugh, reaching out to ruffle your hair which you squawk in protest before swatting his hand away vehemently.

“Relax poppet, I just…have something to talk to you about — regarding your glorified watch dog.”

“Hey!” You automatically gasp affronted, going in to smack the younger demon for bad mouthing his senior. “That’s rude and for that I’m almost tempted not to take you up on your offer.”

“But you will anyways because you’re too nosy right?”


You have nothing to say to that and it only makes Jungkook beam at you, a full on shit-eating grin. He might’ve pronounced it as ‘nosy’, but what he meant to say was ‘curious’. And that is one vice that you can’t seem to help about yourself. So you begrudgingly agree to meet him after you finish, all the while secretly glad to have something to help you power through the remainder of your shift.

It’s evening by the time you clock out, fishing your phone from your pocket to check the time and also answering a couple of text messages, one of them being your friend who has successfully worked out everything on her end to be able to attend the concert with you. The good news washes away any mental exhaustion you feel from work instantly, and you can’t help the wide smile that breaks out over your lips. You return your friend’s enthusiasm through a series of keyboard smashing text bubbles and badly misspelled words but vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass aside, it all further makes everything feel so much more real; like this is actually happening.

“Hey, you know texting and walking is becoming the leading cause to pedestrian deaths in the past year recently right? Stop contributing to that.” Jungkook’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts as well as his grip on the back of your shirt, yanking you until you feel yourself tipping backwards but just as you let out a yelp, your surroundings shifts in a swirl of colours and warped images and before you have a chance to make out any of them, it stops and you find yourself in a completely different place than where you had been.

You stumble on your feet, going as far as to grip onto Jungkook’s arm less you wanted to fall flat on your face until you feel like you have a grasp on your vertigo again.

“Don’t,” You wheeze, blinking hard in hopes of stopping your world from spinning in your eyes, gaze firmly locked on your shoes. “Don’t do that without warning next time!”

“Then what fun would that be?” You hear Jungkook snicker above you.

You want to smack him again but you’re more focused on pulling yourself together. When you do, you finally let go of his arm to take a look at your surroundings. You’re surprised to see that Jungkook had teleported the both of you to what appears to be a rooftop garden. And not just the typical, modern city rooftop garden that looks like an open patio people would host fancy cocktail parties on, no, this is an actual garden on a rooftop. You’re standing on a gravel pathway that’s bordered by different shrubberies interspersed with tall, wispy ornamental grasses that sway at the slightest of breezes. In areas where there are more soil space, you spot what appears to be bushels of lavender peeking through to break up the shades of green that overtake the place but what’s even more surprising is that you also spy a couple of trees planted that gives you the impression that this is quite a big rooftop.

“You’ll catch a fly if you keep your mouth open like that.”

You immediately snap it shut, not doubting Jungkook on that considering how much greenery you’re surrounded with, but it still doesn’t stop your amazement from coming through.

“W-Where is this? Are we still even in the city?”

The demon snorts, stuffing his hands into his pant pockets as he begins to stroll off. “Yeah, it’s just a place I found. Apparently it’s owned by some big shot CEO.”

You hastily pick up your pace in order to catch up to his longer strides, can’t help your brow from furrowing at the information. “What if we get caught up here?”

“Nah, bastard hardly ever comes up this far in the building — it’s all just for show. Besides,” Jungkook smirks, “Who says ‘we’re’ getting caught? Other mortals can’t see me remember.”

Right.

You kiss your teeth at that, having no choice but to believe in the younger demon that you won’t get caught trespassing any time soon. So with a sigh, you continue alongside Jungkook as you make your way around the garden. “So,” You start off, “You said you wanted to talk to me about Jimin?”

You glance up at Jungkook when he offers you no immediate response, catching an eyeful of his profile. Deep brown eyes are lost in the horizon ahead of him in an almost trance like state as the slowly setting sun turns the sky into vibrant hues of pink, orange and purple. The warm rays cast upon Jungkook’s skin makes it appear almost golden, glowing from the inside and his hair shines with a rich lushness that you even catch the subtle hues of brown in them.

You’re so caught up in his visuals that for a moment you actually think it’s a good thing no one else can see him because no doubt, he’d be turning heads and getting mobbed just by walking down the street (or perhaps it’s a shame that he can’t be seen). You also get caught up at how scarily accurate he seems to have the actual Jungkook look pinned down; from his shapely thin lips, cutting jawline, prominent nose to his expressive doe eyes and of course, his signature bunny smile. It makes you wonder if there was something he missed from being a perfect copy of the young Korean vocalist.

Finally, as if feeling eyes on him, Jungkook inclines his head towards you, shaking his long fringe in order to see through them and making the numerous silver hoop earrings on his lobe and cartilage twinkle in the remaining light. You try to school your face into one of indifference but the creeping blush on your cheeks gives you away at your shameless staring (you think you might’ve been openly gaping at him too, how embarrassing!)

His lips twitches in the slightest at the corner but he doesn’t comment. Instead he silently ambles over to the left of a slight fork in the path, coming up to what you finally notice are small steps leading to a slightly elevated, wooden deck that gives you an impressive view of the city below behind the safety of glass panels and railings that come up high enough to prevent anyone from climbing over. Jungkook comes to a stop before it and you follow suit just beside him. Another moment of silence passes between you two before he asks you a question that takes you completely off-guard.

“What do you think of Jimin?”

You buffer in answering, mind jumping to all sorts of interpretations and wild assumptions. Clearing your throat to mask the fact you might’ve choked on your spit a little, you stutter out with the vain attempt at seeming totally nonchalant about it, cheeks burning for different reasons this time, “L-Like what? Like, how he is as a demon? Or…like, him as my guardian….?”

“Him, as himself, as honest as you can be.”

You suck in a breath, thrown into an even bigger loop at how blunt Jungkook’s being so suddenly in regards to your guardian demon. “Well,” you drag out, eyes shifting self-consciously as your hand reaches up to scratch the back of your head. “If I have to be honest…I…I think he’s pretty alright for a demon….”

“….Really?”

The deadpan and disbelief in Jungkook’s tone makes you whip your gaze to him and his expression makes you blink incredulously at him. He almost looks offended and a little too serious for a simple enough question, as if your answer will determine the fate of the universe and you just fucked everyone over by giving a half-assed one. It has you back-tracking defensively, like you really did doom humanity but it’s not like you mean to! No one told you so much was at stake in the first place!

“W-What?! Why are you even asking me this so suddenly?!”

Jungkook lets out a loud sigh, the sound rough around the edges from frustration bleeding into it as he says, “Just — “ But then stops himself, shutting his eyes briefly as if to reconsider his approach. You watch quietly as he runs a hand through his hair, tousling the locks and watching them fall back into place. He takes a deep breath in before letting it out, eyes sliding back open to the view in front of him. It’s dark now for the most part, the warm orange light from the setting sun being nothing more than a sliver of colour that eventually gets engulfed by the overwhelming navy blue of the night and in its place are the millions of fluorescent lights that shine from the windows of the buildings and skyscrapers around you.

It’s a nice scenic view from where you and Jungkook both stand, but you’re more so concentrated on trying to read the demon’s expression, so unused to seeing his handsome face pinched into something that isn’t cheeky or teasing in nature. The sight of it mellows you out, thinking that perhaps there really is a much more serious meaning to his question. After a few moments, Jungkook speaks again, his voice low and gravelly with an unknown emotion.

“You and I both know that Jimin doesn’t have that much time left as your guardian. And you and I both know what that will mean when the time comes.”

Ah, there it is.

Your chest suddenly feels as if a weight has nestled itself on it at the sobering statement. Every once in a while, that fact has crept into your thoughts but each time it did, you had always pushed it aside; for more pressing matters at the moment and simply because…. You don’t want to think about it. You don’t want to think about the limited time you have left to spend with Jimin and that at any moment, he’ll tell you he’s leaving or even worse, he’ll simply be gone without a word or trace, and you’ll just have to move on with your life.

“Y-Yeah…I know.” You struggle to work around the constricting feeling, fingers fiddling with the strap of your bag. “I…I just don’t like thinking about it.”

You glance over when Jungkook doesn’t give you a response, only to meet his deep brown gaze already on you with a look that tells you to elaborate. Your face flushes again at having to divulge your inner most feelings but as you had come to realize earlier, this means a lot to Jungkook so you feel obligated to give a (much more) honest answer. Swallowing, your eyes fall onto anywhere but at the demon beside you.

“You better not tell him this…” You can’t help muttering petulantly before starting, “Jimin….He’s done a lot for me — things that I can’t even express my thanks for in words. I don’t know if he told you or if you found out, but he got me tickets to go see BTS.”

“So I’ve heard…”

A small smile creeps up on your lips at the memory, recalling all the emotions you felt on that day. “I honestly didn’t expect him to; I even said I didn’t want his help in scoring tickets the first time he offered but then, he just goes and…gets them.” You shake your head. “He really didn’t have to you know? I mean, it would’ve sucked that I didn’t get to go but I would’ve gotten over it somehow, eventually. So for him to go out of his way, doing something that I’m sure was beyond his contract as my temporary guardian is…. “ You trail off, not knowing if you can find the words or if there really is any to describe how grateful you are because Jimin giving you those tickets meant more than just being able to see BTS, he’s given you a shoulder to cry on (quite literally), listened to your deepest worries that you seldom talk about even to your closest friends and given you his honest advice and support. He’s looked out for you in little ways when there are times he could’ve chosen not to, made sure you ate, slept and took time for yourself.

He showed you that there is a sort of hope that all things will pass and good things will come in time. You don’t know when it happened, but Jimin had become a great source of comfort for you, something irreplaceable and someone who had made you want to do better, take chances and just…live a little.

“He might not like to admit it, but Jimin’s a lot sweeter than he lets on… Or at least, when he deems you worthy of being in his good books.” You let out a light laugh, already picturing his stink eye at the mention of him being remotely ‘good’. From beside you, you hear Jungkook snort.

“I really want to repay him somehow…. And not just for giving me tickets to see BTS. But I don’t think there’s anything I can do or give that would be enough and that… that frustrates me.” You conclude, your own voice dropping into a wistful murmur as you lean against the railings.

Jungkook watches you, seeing the faraway glassy look in your eyes that tells him how lost in thought you were. He sees the way your face seems to soften, heard the way your voice had grown quieter in the gentle way you had spoken of Jimin and though it had not been much, Jungkook’s heard all the things you’ve left unspoken.

It’s the same whenever Jimin speaks about you.

He scoffs quietly under his breath, defeated.

“H-Hey! Don’t leave me!” You yelp, breaking out of your train of thoughts just in time to catch the creak and rustle of Jungkook descending the small steps to continue the walk down the pathway which had been lit up by little post lights along the ground. You hurry after him, not wanting to risk being stranded on this tall high-rise office building that you have no business being in. “You still never told me why you’re asking me this all of a sudden.”

“…Just think of it as a warning for what’s to come.” Jungkook says simply. “It won’t be easy, and you’re only making it harder on yourself by becoming attached.”

You stiffen, the grip on your bag strap tightens as your steps slow a bit to a drag, kicking up the small stones as you go. “I…I know that… I just…” You sigh heavily, shoulders sagging. “I’ll deal with it when the time comes alright?”

It’s a pathetic answer even to your ears, but as much as you want to ignore the elephant in the room, Jungkook’s right. There’s no stopping Jimin from leaving you once he gets the okay from heaven — it’s heaven for crying out loud, who goes against the words of God? Besides, who’s to say Jimin would want to stick around you if given the chance. Maybe it’s just you that’s clinging onto him because of all he’s done for you…. But can you really blame yourself for that? He’s done so much and yet you could do nothing —

You nearly stop walking altogether, realization hitting you like a ton of bricks. Unknowingly you’ve come full circle to the one thing that had been fixated on your mind ever since you’ve thought about it and now… Now you’re starting to think that maybe, unconsciously, you’ve already decided on what it is that you wanted to do.

Your faltering steps catches Jungkook off guard when he notices you weren’t following him, making him turn around to see that you in a way he could only describe as a lightbulb going off in your head.

“What, forgot you left the stove on at home?” Jungkook asks, one eyebrow raised.

You blink back to reality, taking a moment to process what he said before shaking your head. “No, no…Just remembered something…”

He gives you a weird look before shrugging and you fall back into step with him again. Eventually, the two of you reach a sort of dead end where there is fewer plants and an open space that reminded you more of a sand garden instead. Patches of shrubbery still dot around in this spacious area but all that appears here is a stepping stone path that leads to a bench situated under a large tree. It’s significantly bigger than the small maples that you had seen walking around the gravel pathway but it still only had a few small green leaves scattered sparsely on its branches, seeing as how spring has only just begun. Along with the LED lamp lights stuck into the ground along the pathway, the space is also lit up by fairy lights that outline the border of this part of the garden that you had no doubt would make for a great place for a romantic date.

It’s nice, you think idly as you admire your surroundings, if only this was a public place and not on some rich asshole’s building, you would’ve loved to come back here just to find a peace of mind every once in a while. Your eyes wander back to Jungkook, finding him standing under the tree, head tilted back to stare up at the thick trunk. As you approach him, you see him reach out a hand to touch the rough bark in quiet contemplation and as if sensing you behind him, he speaks without turning.

“You’re a good kid poppet — and I’m kinda starting to see why Jimin hadn’t locked you in a basement for the duration of his community service hours just to get it over with.”

“Uhh….thanks? I guess…” You reply, bewildered but strangely reassured.

“Make sure you don’t lose that good head of yours in the future, yeah?” Jungkook says amicably but you can’t help to think that there is something deeper to his well-meaning words. When he turns to you, you nod regardless and it’s enough to have the corner of Jungkook’s lips lift in a half smile filled with something you can’t quite discern in the shadows that fall across his face. It’s gone before you can really pin it down as Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, pushing the thick locks out of his eyes and gestures with his chin at you.

“C’mon, I’ll take you home before your guardian chews my head off.”

-

“I already told you; we’ll meet tomorrow at midnight, I’ll pay you half of the money and then the other half when we’re done.” Jimin grinds out between his teeth, clutching his phone so tightly he fears he’ll end up cracking the device. The person on the other shoots off more bullshit that Jimin could care less about and with a hard roll of his eyes, he ends the call abruptly, the boiling irritation makes his skin feel hot. He runs a hand through his hair out of habit, mussing the brunette strands until they fall slightly parted against his forehead.

If he hadn’t known better, Jimin thinks being smited would’ve been way less painful than what he’s gotten himself into. But then again, it’s pretty fucking hard to find a reliable informant in the black market on ways to transition himself into a guardian angel. Or at least, that’s what he hopes would happen. Jimin lets out a scathing laugh, finding this all morbidly funny, considering this was the least shadiest option he’s found in his day and a half manhunt after getting Jungkook to help him was a bust.

No matter, Jimin’s come into terms that he’s willing to bet everything he has at a shot of this. He’s not willing to wait around and let some higher being decide his fate if he so can help it because for the first time in in his life, this is something he’s willing to fight for.

And if this all goes to shit….

Well, he at least likes to think he’s a decent gambler.

Taking the crystal glass in his hands, Jimin knocks back the drink with ease, letting the smokey aftertaste linger on his palate as he licks his lips. When he sets the glass down, he bristles, suddenly aware of an all too familiar presence beside him.

“If you’re here to berate me, then save your breath because you’re not going to change my mind.”

Jimin hears a loud sigh and then suddenly the bartender scurries over from having been waved down by the younger. Not long after, a second glass of whiskey is placed before them, making Jimin quirk an eyebrow.

Jungkook takes a healthy swig of the drink, grimacing as he swallows. He turns to Jimin who looks at him with open curiousity.

“Last I remember you don’t like whiskey.”

“I don’t like a lot of things brother,” Jungkook corrects, dark eyes trained on the way he swirls the liquor in his glass absentmindedly. “And as much as I don’t like what you’re planning to do, I’d rather not have you doing something even more dangerous for it.” He inhales deeply, as if after much deliberation, finally turning his attention to Jimin, a hard look marring his face.

“That’s why I’ll tell you — I’ll tell you what you need to do to become a guardian angel.”

[itsclydebitches]

So the story goes like this: I’m in London for the month, popping into every used bookstore I find, and while in one I spot Captains' Logs Supplemental: The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages. Though baggage weight limits won’t let me buy it (I have already bought so many books) I did snap pics of the “Past Prologue,” “Cardassians,” and “The Wire” entires. And then transcribed them. Because I thought the other Garak stans might enjoy this info!

Worth the read imo 💜

Episode #3 “Past Prologue” Original Airdate: 1/11/93 Written by Katharyn Powers Directed by Winrich Kolbe Guest Starring: Jeffrey Nordling (Tahna), Andrew Robinson (Garak), Barbara March (Lursa), Vaughn Armstrong (Gul Dunar), Richard Ryder (Bajoran Deputy), Susan Bay (Admiral), Gwynyth Walsh (B’Etor)

“We didn’t want your typical Cardassian in there,” says director Winrich Kolbe of the creation of one of DS9’s break-out characters, the Cardassian spy Garak. “Obviously it would have been hard to put a real Cardassian soldier in a clothing store. Perhaps it would have been terrific, who knows, but what we felt we had to deal with was somebody abnormal—at least as far as the Cardassians were concerned. It was one of those things where I wasn’t quite sure whether Andy Robinson would be the right guy. I had a different idea as to what type of actor I wanted, but Andy Robinson was available and turned out to be terrific. What I wanted, which shows how far off I was, was Sydney Greenstreet. I have to admire an actor who has to come in at three in the morning and stay in that kind of makeup for the rest of the day and still be able to give a performance.”

Comments Michael Piller, “One of the things about ‘Past Prologue’ that bothered me was that Bashir’s performance was in a very broad range—and this was newness. I believe we have strange aliens, strange makeup, spaceships, explosions and wormholes and costumes that are crazy, so that the people within them have to be entirely credible. If those people get too big in their performances, then you go into opera, and it becomes space opera, foolish and unbelievable. Patrick Stewart really led the way with us in Next Generation, which is to underplay. When you think you’re going to go big, you come down, and it has much more power and credibility. You believe there’s a space station or a spaceship like Enterprise. The biggest problem with the early shows is that some of the performances were too big or too restrained. We had to find the even tone for the ensemble to work together. Our voices weren’t quite right, and the performances were uneven. The first episode hurt the character of Bashir because he was so broad in those scenes with Andy Robinson that he looked like the greenest recruit in the history of the Starfleet, and that hurt him for two or three episodes. If we were shooting it today, his performance would be much more credible, and he wouldn’t have the same reaction from the audience that he has now.”

Klingon renegades Lursa and B’Etor, of course, were introduced in the Next Generation two-parter “Redemption,” and were used as part of an attempt to tie Deep Space Nine into existing Trek continuity. The characters eventually perished in battle against the Enterprise in the feature film Star Trek: Generations.

“The creative synergy allows you incredible opportunities,” remarks Piller. “It’s interesting how we used them. Essentially, we had a story and, in the case of Lursa and B’Etor, we said, ‘Hey, we’ve got a real kind of Casablanca spy story and we need someone to really be doing double dealings and bringing money and doing gun exchanges; why don’t we use the Klingons—and use those characters that we love so much? It works out just fine to use those guys because then there’s a connection and an identification. There’s a backstory, there’s a history, and all of these things make for such a richer series.”

Says Ira Behr, “There’s no doubt that people like [TNG characters like] Lwaxana [Troi] and Q and Vash and a bunch of others. They have a certain life to them as characters and an energy that certainly helped The Next Generation and helps us too. The characters that don’t have to be Starfleet and don’t have those strings we have attached so often. A lot of times you have people performing those characters who take a lot of relish in doing them, so they’re fun to have come back.”

Piller doesn’t feel that in exploiting The Next Generation’s voluminous history Deep Space Nine has an unfair advantage, appealing to those already familiar with Trek lore. “You have to look at the shows themselves,” he insists. “There’s no question in my mind that conceptually, each of these shows would work because they’re about the new characters. In ‘Past Prologue,’ there’s a moral dilemma for Major Kira where she has to confront her loyalty to her past life and what her new life is going to be. It’s really about her. It’s illuminating our new characters. As I’ve always said, the guest stars are catalysts. There have been times when I have not been satisfied, more prior to my arrival, that the shows have been about the guest stars, but ultimately the shows that succeed are when the guest stars are serving as catalysts to illuminate our characters.”

Episode #25 “Cardassians” Original Airdate: 10/25/93 Teleplay by James Crocker Story by Gene Wolander and John Wright Directed by Cliff Bole Guest Starring: Rosalind Chao (Keiko O’Brien), Andrew Robinson (Garak), Robert Mandan (Kotan Pa’Dar), Terrence Evans (Proka), Vidal Peterson (Rugal), Dion Anderson (Zolan), Marc Alaimo (Gul Dukat)

“I didn’t have a lot of faith in this show at first,” admits Ira Behr. “It was such an issue-oriented show that I thought we would oversimplify a complicated issue, but what got me into the show was when I realized this was not only a chance to bring back Garak but to do this whole weird little number with what’s going on between him and Dukat. To me, that nailed the character and I knew after that happened we were going to see a lot of Andy Robinson, who’s become quite popular on staff. What did not work for me was the kid and O’Brien. I thought that was very obvious stuff compared to the rest of the episode. Sometimes we have a tendency to overload the stories. Ultimately, who cared about this kid? It was weak compared to the rest of the episode.”

“As an actor, when I got the script, I didn’t realize Dukat was being set up to take the blame,” says Marc Alaimo, who portrays Gul Dukat. “But I played him as a man who was being set up. A man who was taking the dive because he had wanted to remove the children but his orders were to leave them. I never really understood that story. It seemed complicated to me, and I never quite understood how he got blamed for it.”

Episode #42 “The Wire” Original Airdate: 5/9/94 Written by Robert Hewitt Wolfe Directed by Kim Friedman Guest Starring: Andrew Robinson (Garak), Jimmie F. Skaggs (Glinn Boheeka), Ann Gillespie (Nurse Jabara), Paul Dooley (Enabran Tain)

“It just so happens some of the best shows are the least expensive, because we’re forced to be concise,” Ira Behr comments. “Our conceptual thinking of two guys in a room who are struggling for survival, or against each other, frequently makes for very good drama. This episode was an opportunity to show Bashir with a real strength that he hasn’t had before.

“[Story editor] Robert Wolfe talked passionately about doing this show, and we had always talked about the fact that Garak might have been George Smiley back in Cardassia and maybe we should explore that. Then I went to the movies and came back and said, ‘He’s Schindler.’ Why don’t we do Schindler and Smiley, and then Michale [Piller] said do all four stories, every one different. Robert came up with the idea that he tells this story about his best friend and it turns out to be him. Then you meet his mentor and best friend, who says, ‘I hope he dies, but tell him I miss him.’ That’s perfect; it’s all great stuff.”

Admittedly, “The Wire” could be perceived as an attempt to repeat the success of first season’s “Duet,” and the staff was aware of the similarities. “‘Duet’ was Kira’s crisis as much as the guy’s crisis, and this was much more Garak’s show,” offers Behr. “I thought that was a little dangerous, and we knew we were doing it, but let’s face it, the Cardassian monologue is great and Cardassians like to talk. They’re also great fun to write.”

Says David Livingston, “It’s a bottle show. It’s basically Andy Robinson in a room, but it’s very compelling because it’s one man intervening. Kurt Cobain needed Siddig. If he had had Sid he might have pulled through, because Sid knocks some sense into Andy’s head and says, ‘You’ve got to get off this stuff.’”

According to director Kim Friedman, “‘The Wire’ was kind of a challenge because most of the episode was two people in a room, Sid and Andy Robinson. It’s very hard to create pacing and energy for a show that is basically set in a room. But ultimately I was very pleased with the whole episode. I think my favorite moment was the implant withdrawal scene, which results in a fight between Bashir and Garak. It was just a very powerful moment.”

Paul Dooley, who played the menacing Enabran Tain, returned in DS9’s third season two-parter “Improbable Cause” and “The Die is Cast.” He is known for his role as Martin Tupper’s gay father in the HBO sitcom Dream On.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Episode #100 Highlights!

That’s right: 100 EPISODES. That’s a lot of great questions, greater answers, questionable pronunciations of usernames, even more questionable uses of overlays, and a++++ excellent dogs. 

The entire cast is answering questions this week!

Max runs an (adorable) intro in the above puppet theater, and each cast member gets a title. Laura is The Heart, Sam is The “Funny Guy”, Travis is The Brawn, Liam is The Actor, Matt is The Brains, Marisha is The Face, Taliesin is The Pyramid, Brian is The Convict, and Ashley is The Favorite.

The cast’s entrance is majestic. There are balloons, sashes, tiaras, and champagne. Henry has a tiara too!

The Search for Grog will air this Friday, February 22 at 7 PM Pacific on twitch.tv/criticalrole. If you miss the stream, it’ll be available Saturday morning on CR’s YouTube channel!

Talks Machina and CR will air on CR’s official channels starting today! Starting next episode, TM will be available on CR’s YouTube channel on Thursday at 7 Pacific, and also in podcast form!

Stats: in 100 episodes of TM, there’s been 81 episodes of Brian’s glorious beard. There have been 9 Skype/FaceTime call-ins! There were 244 guest misnomers before that well ran dry. 93 episodes of pre-show hijinks (thanks to Max James!). 95 episodes of Arsequeef. 826 days of being on the internet!

Brian: "The concept of creating a talk show about a D&D campaign has always been absurd to me, so we wanted to embrace that terribleness.”

There’s now a Steve Cam (quietly reading, meal prepping, and ignoring the show), and a Zach Cam (staring at a monitor that’s all just Liam’s chest hair and the Fjord bust), and a Max Cam (dancing in a stripper cop outfit), Lockey Cam (practicing with a sword in front of a mirror and then charging at Daniel for filming it - Brian: “Hopefully Daniel’s non-union.”), Ed Cam (drinking scotch and counting down the days until football returns, and also lint rolling his new goatee), Chris Cam (rapping in the VO booth), Brittany Cam (dancing with a unicorn blanket, huffing compressed air - Brian: “You can’t show that on Twitch!”).

Matt is asked how his DMing style has evolved with campaign 2. “Well... I’ve been forced to embrace a little more of the tragedy in the characters’ backstories.” The internal and external conflict has been really interesting for him to watch and react to. “I’ve learned to be very proud of my players for mucking up my perception of where things are going to go.”

Coming to Xhorhas, Nott’s thrilled to no longer have to worry about the mask. Sam’s excited about the City of Beasts “to see what kind of fucked-up individuals we’re going to find and seeing how Nott will react to that.”

Yasha definitely sympathizes with Nott trying to save her spouse, but “there’s a lot going on with her going back to Xhorhas. It’s definitely triggering for her, but she understands the need to want to go back. I wish I could go to Xhorhas. We’ll see what happens.” Travis: “I’m pretty sure once we go to a place we can never go back.”

Favorite item on the Talks shelves? Taliesin mentions a magnetic Percy mini, Sam likes the tiny Sams (”It looks like my bedroom!”), Ashley and Brian are partial to the Sully painting, Laura loves the Pike painting, Marisha loves all the stuff the cast bought on a hungover voyage to the flea market when they were first building the set, Matt loves a very cool dice tower. Brian likes the Vecna with Marisha’s face. Matt: “I don’t know if I like that one.”

Laura doesn’t like the party using the derogatory term for the Krynn, because she wants people to be happy even if she doesn’t know them. Sam: “I haven’t been the best for that, but if Jester wants me to... I guess I’ll change.”

There are new wipe transitions featuring the Matt pillow and the Fjord bust. It’s glorious.

Gif of the week: Sam calling Travis “studly” for catching the candy. Laura: “...I like that I’ve been cut out of it completely.”

Arsequeef gets the Lifetime Achievement Award for Gif of the Week. He wins Max’s 2006 Honda Accord.

On Caleb taking off his bandages because there’s nothing to hide anymore: “Was that terrifying for him, or a relief?” Liam: “Yes!” He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it feels good. He’s got f...r...iends?” Marisha: “I love that sitcom. (weakly) F...r...iends?”

Caduceus being a source of comfort, insight, and advice was built into the character. Taliesin looked at low INT high WIS, and Matt immediately started laughing and told Taliesin he’d do well with that. Taliesin: “There’s plenty of things that will eventually flap that, but we haven’t hit them yet.”

As a player, Travis doesn’t like to weigh things carefully all the time, so a lot of Fjord’s leardership has been a bit about pressing fast-forward. Marisha: “So what you’re saying is that your Grog’s poking through.” Matt points out that if both characters have a trait, it’s probably just Travis. 

Liam: “I’ve got a little Travis poking me from behind.” Marisha, musing: “So many conflicting beards...”

Beau’s prayer to Ioun mostly came from a “couldn’t hurt” perspective. “I’ll try it out. Give it a spin.” When Travis asks, Marisha clarifies that it was Ioun specifically because of the Cobalt Soul. Travis: “Oh yeah, I totally knew the relationship there. I just wanted to make sure the audience did.”

Bugbear friend or bugbear foe? Sam: “He speaks goblin, he seems cool, his name’s Gluzo. He has a hard-to-pin-down accent, but it’s amazing.” Taliesin: “You have a hard-to-pin-down accent, too. It’s something you have in common.” Taliesin gets asked if his insight check revealed that the bugbear is secretly pretending to be someone else. “Yes, he’s just pretending to be a bugbear. He’s actually Matt Mercer.” Laura: “I like him. ‘Cause he’s cute and he let me give him a tattoo.”

Sam: “Nott trusts her friends to be as strong as they can be, and at this point, I don’t know if she’s as concerned with one of them dying as just getting to her husband in time before he dies. If we lose one along the way, Nott will probably cry a little, but will move on.” What if it were Fjord? “Fjord’s expjendable.”

Matt: “I’ve reached a point where Travis controls Yasha in combat, but I don’t consider any of his roleplay canon.” Ashley: “I trust Travis. Barbarian respect.” Laura: “Don’t give him that.” Ashley: “Travis himself is like a Deck of Many things. This is risky, but it’s kind of fun!”

Sam: “That dunamancy shit is lit.” Liam: “And it’s tied up in everything that Caleb wants, so if he can get on the entropy shit and the gravity shit, you know he’s going to go back in time, motherfucker.” Sam is so excited to have these mystery spells because they’re so new, and they’re inherently something they don’t know how to counter or prepare for. Travis: “It’s almost like every time we play D&D.”

Fanart of the Week: a spectacular group shot.

Everyone freaks out over how good Travis looks with glasses. He takes them off and puts them back on sexily for a while. I was too slow grabbing a screencap, but don’t worry, the gifs will be everywhere.

Laura: “Jester hasn’t experienced a lot of emotions. She hasn’t experienced a lot of anything, really. She’s definitely dealt with sadness in her life, but I don’t think it’s been so in-your-face constantly, just the trauma of it all.” Liam: “Yeah, she’s with some very terrible people.” Laura: “While it is traumatic, it’s also been a great adventure, and she’s enjoying being out and doing things. Even if it might hurt her, it’s so much better than reading about it, drawing it, just imagining how it would be.”

Caleb’s still feeling out the shift in his relationship with Nott, but there’s no question that everything they’ve gone through can’t be forgotten or overlooked. “He sees her as an absolute ally no matter what, and will do anything for her. In a weird way, he feels like they’re even more alike than he thought they were, and he loves her and wants her to succeed in what she’s doing, and hopes that the things that he wants don’t fuck it up entirely.” Sam: “Are you talking about Liam and Sam right now?”

Caduceus’ thoughts on Xhorhas? “A new environment, certainly, and a new aspect of nature that he’s unfamiliar with. This is just more terrain to him at this point. He’s also very unaware of the political realities. He’s vaguely aware there is war. He’s still not sure why we can’t just go up and ask for directions from everyone.”

Brian: “That tiara is the most blessed image.”

Travis on the Captain Tusktooth tattoo: “Brand recognition is huge in Xhorhas.” Taliesin: “Viral marketing.” Laura confirms that it’s not likely to change apart from some small differences from tattoo to tattoo. “Each person gets a special google.”

Laura on fans actually getting this tattoo: “I am ALL ABOUT IT.”

Marisha: “Guys! How about instead of M9 tattoos...” Sam: “We let Laura tattoo us? I would legitimately be down with that!” Ashley: “I’m kind of into it.” Liam: “This is what splits us apart.” Laura: “Everybody gets a dick.” Travis: “How would we explain that to our kid? ‘What’s that?’ ‘Your mom did that.’”

Beau is holding back a bit since her impulsiveness started having negative repercussions. “I think it’s about accountability. She’s started to learn--- especially when she first joined M9, she didn’t have friends, really. I think you had to learn, oh, my actions do affect others around me. I think that’s something you can learn and you can grow in, but yeah, she is trying to not be a total fuckwad anymore. Trying. But old habits...”

Favorite TM moments? Travis: “Do you remember that episode where Brian wasn’t the host?” Brian remembers Travis throwing the card that almost took him out. Ashley fondly remembers PullOutKing. Laura remembers Taliesin saying the phrase “I love teenage assholes” (referring to Percy acting immature), and Taliesin is super glad someone brought that up again just when the tweets were finally starting to die down. 

Ashley talks about how proud she is about how far Brian’s come, and how great he’s doing at this. Everyone has an uncharacteristically sincere moment of applause for Brian. Liam: “Everyone take 30 seconds to drop the bit that we think you’re a total fucking weirdo. You’re so good at this, and you’re such a good friend, and we’re so glad you’re part of this family.”

Marisha pitches the idea of trying to sell TM syndicated on LifeTime now that they have 100 episodes.

Brian remembers having food poisoning that led to him running off-screen, throwing up in the middle of the show, and then having to come back. Marisha remembers Travis texting everyone that night with “lol, did Brian just yarf on TV?”

Matt talks about how proud he is of Brian for going from zero tabletop experience to co-running his own game.

Talks Machina After Dog ft. Sleepy Boi Henry

“This is the best dog-petting show ever.”

Liam was skeptical about TM initially, because he was worried it would take away from what would be shared in-game. Marisha: “I was stoked for it, not gonna lie. I was very misunderstood and people hated my character, so I was kind of stoked to just get to explain it.” Travis was sold once they picked the name.

Marisha: “It also set the precedent for really dumb, punny names.” Brian points out that, as a channel, they now can’t stick with serious names as their final choice.

Laura’s sister has been watching the show, and she texted Laura after the show to ask what the whisper was, so Laura’s going to tell her and no one else. Liam: “You’re gonna tell your real sibling?”

There’s a horrified discussion about giraffe fighting. Some segues happened in there.

What’s something their characters have done that’s made them proud? Liam: Caleb using the Wall of Fire. Marisha: the Plank King execution episode as a whole (everyone agrees). Travis: “I was proud of hooking up with an NPC when my wife wasn’t here to threaten me with death.” (he immediately turns to Taliesin: “Help.” Taliesin: “No god can help you now.”) Taliesin: “I sunk a boat.” Laura: Proud of not getting caught with Nott in the Platinum Dragon sanctuary. Sam: Taking the blow for Jester so she could escape. Liam: “Molly showing his dick covered in eggs.”

Matt: “I’m proud of you guys not entirely descending into evil madness. I’m proud of the character arcs of being broken, terrible people, and finding out that it’s okay to be broken; you’re not necessarily terrible.” Liam: “The entire cast went, ‘He’s talking about everyone but me’.” Matt thought it was going to be very hard to keep the group together, but the party turned it into character growth moments. “I’m proud of you.” Laura: “Thanks, Dad.”

Yasha loved the arm wrestling. “Oh man, it’s so fun to be the tank.”

Laura: “I’m really proud of us for saving Kiri!”

Everyone has Liam’s chest hair:

Wishes for the next 100 episodes? More Ashley. 

Brian: “I hate this coffee table more than anything in the whole, entire world.”

What’s something that should never change about the show? How ridiculous it is, the barrel, Dani. Also always have a dog. They fundamentally do the show for themselves, still, and that’s made it a really good environment for them to open up about the show and their characters.

Liam: “There’s a lot of beauty to what we do, but it’s also inherently silly. And to deny that is silly.”

Matt likes that it’s unpolished and imperfect. “Things are going to go wrong regardless, and you can either get angry and frustrated about the lack of control, or you can embrace it.” Sam: “None of this is real anyway.” 

Brian points out that this is not an excuse to stop paying him.

And that’s a wrap! This is the last After Dark for a while, but there are some big ideas in the works for the coming weeks!

[lovemesomesurveys]

1:Describe your favorite blanket? It’s a rose gold soft and fluffy throw blanket.  2:How many pillows do you sleep with? 2. I have like 6 on my bed, though. 3:What is a good memory you have with your parents? I have countless good memories. 4:How did you meet your first crush? My first crush was this kid, Philip, when I was in 3rd grade. He was like a grade or two above me. I was into an older guy. haha. 5:What are 3 things you like about your current crush/significant other? I don’t have one.

6:What do you have hanging on your walls? A few canvases (2 beachy ones and 1 giraffe one), a framed painting of a giraffe in a sweater lol, a small watercolor painting of a giraffe I got at a craft fair, 2 calendars with Alexander Skarsgard on them (I kept the one from last year for the photos), a big Swedish flag, an I Love Lucy clock, a bulletin board, and a marker board. 7:What book are you currently reading? I just started one called “The Girl in Cabin 13″ by A.J. Rivers.  8:What was the last movie you watched and what are your thoughts on it? The Invisible Man. It was really good. And creepy. 9:What's the best band that you discovered recently? I’ve discovered a few new artists recently, but not a new band. 10:How many types of social media do you use and what are they? Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram. 11:What was/were you username(s) on instant messengers when you were younger? I had a lot of different ones. During my emo phase everything had X’s in it haha. I remember I had loserxfaceex, cutexdollfacee, and stupidmfx. lmao. Those were just a few of many. Others were lyrics and such.  12:What is your first memory of getting in trouble? When I lied about taking my medication for months. My mom found my stash hidden behind my bed one day and I was grounded for a month from the computer. My parents were so disappointed, which is the worst. They had to watch me take my medicine for awhile until they could trust me again. 13:What is an anecdote that your family frequently tells about you as a child? Just certain things I said or did as a kid. One that just came to mind is the one about my grandpa walking all over the house carrying a wailing baby me trying to calm me down while singing the words, “lookin for your mama.” lol. My favorite is the one about how for a good 10 minutes or so my mom and I went back and forth between me touching something I wasn’t supposed to and her tapping my hand to get me to stop. We did that for awhile. I’d cry after she did that for a bit and then go and touch it again and repeat. I was stubborn then and stubborn now haha. There’s so many more, but those two came to mind first. 14:If you could do anything with your hair what would you do? I love dyeing it red, so I’m gonna keep doing that. I love how long it is, too. I just don’t know how I want to style it. I should layer it. I kinda want bangs again, too. I don’t know. I also suck at styling it, I just throw it in a pony tail, braid, or bun and call it a day. 15:If you were to get a tattoo today what would you get? I’ve wanted to get “free bird” on my inner wrist for several years, but I’m a big baby. 16:What do you do when you can't fall asleep? So every night I watch YouTube, listen to ASMR, do some surveys, scroll through Tumblr, and check Pinterest until I go to sleep. 17:Do you prefer to primarily use external help (porn, etc.) or your imagination when you masturbate? 18:Can you remember how many people you've kissed? Yeah, it’s only been 3 people. 19:What is the story of your first kiss? It happened at our high school behind the drama department. We were there for the haunted house put on by the drama department, but we ended up skipping that and just hanging out. His friend was there, too. We ended up going off by ourselves as if to talk about something privately, but he leaned in and kissed me.  20:How open are you with your parents? I share a lot with my mom.  21:What was your first drink? Tequila shot. 22:If you smoke, what is your brand? I don’t. 23:What are your favorite genres for books? Movies? TV shows? Music? I love non-fiction, YA/NA, murder mystery, and psychological thriller books. Horror, psychological thriller, romantic comedy, comedy, drama, and some action and sci-fi movies. I like a lot of drama TV shows, reality TV, crime, thriller, and a few older sitcoms like The Golden Girls, Roseanne, and I Love Lucy. 24:What teachers have made the biggest impact on you? My 4th and 8th grade teacher, Mr. McG. He was my favorite teacher ever. He was the best. He was a teacher that just really loved what he did and cared about his students. He wanted them to do well and helped them do so. He made learning fun. Lol I actually cried on the last day of school in 4th grade. I was so excited when he ended up teaching 8th grade later on and I was able to have him again. My younger brother and a couple of my cousins had him, too, so I still saw him because of that and other times since. My mom worked at Borders and he used to go there all the time. He knew my mom and aunt, too. I also have him on Facebook. 25:Do you like writing letters? In middle school and some of high school my cousin and I used to write notes to each other all the time. I haven’t written a letter since then. 26:What is your favorite episode of your favorite show? I have several favorite TV shows. 27:What position(s) do you sleep in? I sleep slightly on my side with my head propped up a bit. I can’t sleep flat. 28:What is the first thing you remember lying about in your life? I don’t know. 29:What are the three most important traits you look for in a friend? Someone I just vibe and connect with. Have things in common with. Someone I can talk to. 30:Describe the relationship you have with your sibling(s)? My younger brother and I are close. My older brother and I don’t have a bad relationship, but we’re not close. It’s different. 31:How did you learn about sex? I remember we had sex ed starting in 6th grade. My mom also talked to me about it. I think I may have heard some things about it sooner than that, though, like on TV or movies. I remember once when I was a kid I turned the TV on and it was on HBO and there was a porno on lmao. HBO played movies, but at certain times it used to play stuff like that.  32:Describe your favorite outfit? All my many leggings and oversized graphic tees. And my Adidas stuff. 33:What do you like to do when you're sad to make you feel better? So what I do everyday: Tumblr, surveys, YouTube, and watch TV. With the addition of listening to music, coloring, and reading sometimes. Oh, and sleep. Some days I don’t feel like doing anything.  34:What kind of music do you like to listen to when having sex? 35:What kind of french fries are your favorite? I used to love french fries and I’d eat them all the time, but I don’t know I’m not as into them anymore. I don’t eat them much now. My appetite and what I eat has changed a lot these past few years.  36:What is your ideal breakfast? Scrambled eggs with cheese and spinach with country gravy and hash browns. A delicious muffin would be nice, too. And of course coffee is a must. 37:What is your comfort show/book/movie? I turn to YouTube more for that. Particularly ASMR. 38:What are some things you love about your best friends? My mom is very supportive, loving, caring, awesome, and funny. We like a lot of the same music, TV shows, and movies. I enjoy our talks about anything and everything. I like our grocery shopping trips and going to the movies. I love to just spend time together.  39:Do you shave any parts of your body, and if so what parts? Under my arms. Rarely my legs cause hair doesn’t really grow there. 40:What teacher/professor was your favorite and why? I talked about this already.