#your honour i love them and i cannot stop making memes about them

[mispronouncing-michaelangelo]

hes just the best goddamn bird lawyer in the world

[jimmygibbsjrrr]

What are your favorite voice lines for each survivor and why? (for example, I die when Nick says "you are the first three people in the world I have ever trusted")

I think I have one for everyone (or at least, one picked outta a few favourites) but I really struggled for a coupla them lol

I know and love a lot of these lines because I play on a lovely modded server where a lot of people use voice mods, and I've heard a lot of these lines from the players there, so if they seem random or you've never heard them before that's why! a lot of em are one-off saferoom lines, or dialogue dependent on doing something specific with a certain character. that's also why I seem to gravitate towards the funny one-liners, but there's some more serious/story-related ones here too

also this post ended up being so fucking long! sorry about that! I put a cut in the middle so it's easier to scroll past

Louis:

Louis: "But you know, as long as I have a Molotov I can make a firewall! Get it Francis? A firewall?"

Louis is my favourite and he's got so many banging lines so you'd think this one would be hard for me to choose, but I had to go with this one! the line's originally from The Sacrifice but it's a favourite for Louis players with voice mods. thanks to that, I've got a lotta good memories associated with it from that modded server I talked about. first time I heard it I genuinely laughed because the punchline being that funny caught me off guard. the joke is adorable, very fitting for his character, and the reactions are priceless:

Zoey: "Oh, boooo." Francis: "You're such a nerd."

honourable mention to any conversation about Bill being old because that shit's funny every time

Francis:

Francis: "Groovy." Louis/Zoey: [Short laugh] Francis: "What's so funny? It is groovy."

alternatively:

Francis: "Groovy." Zoey: "[Imitating] Groovy." Francis: "A-FRICKIN'-men."

honestly could have picked any line for Francis because he's so funny but this one is the one that makes me laugh most consistently. that's. that's it really. I just think it's funny. he says this when he picks up an auto shotgun

honourable mention to when he thinks Riverside is in Canada, and any line where he calls Louis 'Louie' because I'm a Frouis shipper and I read into that as a cute endearing nickname :)

Zoey:

Zoey: "Sorry. I can't lower the bridge." Nick: "That's terrific, cupcake. Look, is there a man up there we can talk to?" Zoey: "Oh, boo-hoo, I don't know what to do. Go to hell, Colonel Sanders!"

most of Zoey's funny lines are parts of other running jokes, references that I don't get or very tied to the context of the campaign, so it was actually kinda hard to pick one. I love all of her lines as well which didn't make it easier. but this one has stuck out to me since I first played The Passing because it's brilliant. Nick deserves every scathing insult he gets in that campaign <3

honourable mention to basically all her other lines. especially the ones in The Sacrifice because they cut DEEP her voice actress really went for it christ it hurts

DIShonourable mention to her death scream it's so goddamn LONG and the many hours I've sunk into Tank Challenge have left me hating it with a passion, stop screaming at me I'm doing my best

Bill:

Zoey: "You think one day it's all just gonna go back to normal?" Bill: "I'll see peace back on earth if I gotta murder every one of these bastards with my bare goddamn hands."

I think this line is just a great example of Bill's character really, and actually prompts an interesting train of thought as to how his hopes for the future shifted from No Mercy to The Sacrifice; originally, they seemed much more aligned with Zoey's, possibly part of the reason she felt so betrayed later. also it just sounds cool. it's from the hospital elevator in No Mercy.

honourable mention to this cut line of Bill pickin up an incapped survivor because I think it's really sweet:

Bill: "Bein' brave doesn't mean you're not scared. It means you're scared as hell, and then you pick up the shotgun anyway."

Left 4 Dead 2 survivors under the cut:

Ellis:

Ellis: "If the laws of nature would allow it, I would bear that man's children."

it really couldn't be anything else. I mean, it could, because everything that comes outta this guy's mouth is funny, but I cannot believe this line is real. I love it. as y'all probably know this one's from Dead Center.

honourable mention to every Keith story, and all of his 'Taunt' and 'Argh' lines from the voicewheel. seriously my favourite part of this character is his lines we could be here all day.

Nick:

Nick: "I am breathing shit air into my lungs. It is being absorbed into my bloodstream. I am literally full of shit."

does this make me immature? perhaps. again, I really struggled to pick for Nick, but like many others on the list my reasoning is just that I find this one funny. he sounds so disgusted.

honourable mention to all of his whining about his suit, mostly because the others' responses are golden. and obviously his swearing. because again, I'm immature.

Rochelle:

Rochelle: "Axe me a question, I dare you."

I have such a weakness for bad jokes. first Louis's firewall joke, now this. it's just the way she says it I think. wow my sense of humour is fucked. this one's a possible voice line for when Rochelle picks up a fire axe

honourable mention to all of the funny things she says when she's on low HP, and "Dibbs on Gibbs!" when she sees an infected Jimmy Gibbs Jr.

Coach:

Coach: "I find a Burger Tank in this place? I'm-a be a one-man cheeseburger apocalypse." Ellis: "Well, Coach? I aim to let you."

I hear this line every time I play Dark Carnival - which, considering how much the playerbase loves Dark Carnival, is a lot - and it just makes me smile, especially since they re-added the previously cut line from Ellis in The Last Stand update. also, it reminds me of my first introduction to the L4D2 characters, "Steamed Hams but it's Coach and Nick", which is a masterpiece of video.

honourable mention to his opening line from the trailer, which sets the tone and introduces the character brilliantly, and would have been a great first introduction if my real first introduction hadn't been a Steamed Hams meme.

this post took a surprising amount of time and effort. holy shit. you're welcome ig lmao

[monsoonblooms12]

It's time for Pooja and Ethan to play round two of our favorite game ;)

Here we go!

For Both

What’s the most embarrassing childhood story you know about your spouse?

What did they want to be when they were younger?

What was your spouse's favorite band in high school?

Describe your spouse in high school using memes or/and gifs only.

How old was your spouse when they had their first kiss? Who was it with?

If you two were the same age and had met in college, how would you have met? Would you have liked each other? Dated? Eventually married?

Which of your spouse's friends is the most attractive?

Who was your spouse's hero when they were growing up?

Can you name all your spouse’s exes before you?

Bree, thank you so much for these! I loved answering them (and got a little carried away, hehe😅)! But seriously, thank you and love you❤️!

1. What’s the most embarrassing childhood story you know about your spouse?

Pooja: (Evil Laughter)

Ethan: Anything except that Teddy Bear tale.

Pooja: Anything?

Ethan: Why does that scare me?

Pooja: Because I do have some good stories to share about you (winks)

Ethan: My God.

Pooja: This story is around the time when he was 10 or 11. This man was quite an aspiring chef when he was young, I must say. So, it was the first time he was going to make pancakes and he was super enthusiastic about it. He was like, "you just put the batter, flip them and tada!"

Ethan: That's not true.

Pooja: Keep convincing yourself, sweetheart (giggles)

The preparation was going really nice, he had the batter made perfectly, all ready to pour. And then he switched on the stove, placed the pan and poured the batter in it. In the goddamn cold pan.

Ethan: Ugh.

Pooja: And then when he realized that the pancake was taking much longer than it should to get prepared, he put it on high flame and went to drink water. Safe to say, by the time he returned, the poor pancake was all black. 27 years after, he still cannot make them (chuckles)

Ethan: At least I try.

Pooja: (still chuckling) Definitely, I give you a point for that.

Ethan: Pooja's story is more about her trying to be a mini detective when she was 7.

Pooja: Oh no!

Ethan: Oh yes. It was her mother's art exhibition, and she, like the perfect kid she was, she walked all around the place with her mom. One lady, was very curiously gazing at one of her mom's paintings and then started taking pictures of them. Little Poo thought that she was going to carry out a heist and steal all the art pieces, so she took out her faux phone, went close to the lady, and said as loudly as she could, "Hello 911? One lady is trying to steal my mommy's art."

Pooja: She was being suspicious, I couldn't help it.

Ethan: Mini detective (chuckles)

2. What did they want to be when they were younger?

Pooja: Ethan actually wanted to be a chef until he pancake burnt up to ashes. After that, he wanted to be a detective.

Ethan: She wanted to be a private investigator too, later it was forensic investigator.

3. What was your spouse's favorite band in high school?

Pooja: Ethan's favorite was Snow Patrol, and I am glad to be married to a man with superior music taste.

Ethan: Pooja was not much of a band person. She was and still is, an old classic Bollywood music lover. But if I had to choose, Silk Road & Sanam, both Indian bands.

4. Describe your spouse in high school using memes or/and gifs only.

Pooja: Ah, yes, love this question.

Ethan: I will never understand this craze over gifs or memes or whatever they are called.

Pooja: Well, it's quite easy to guess, because I don't think there is much difference between this Ethan & that Ethan.

Ethan: Pooja has two very clearly distinguishable moods, one when she is hyper productive,

And the other when she is super lazy.

Pooja: I- You just described my entire life with those two.

Ethan: I just know you well, Rookie.

5. How old was your spouse when they had their first kiss? Who was it with?

Pooja: He was almost 15 when he kissed his Highschool sweetheart, Eva. He wanted to make his first kiss a special occasion, with a date and all, but it just happened and I don't think he regrets it.

Ethan: She wasn't my high school sweetheart, we just liked each other. And I do wish that my first kiss was you.

Pooja: Aww, stop (blushing)

Ethan: (After giving Poo a cheek kiss) Pooja's first kiss was actually an accident.

Pooja: And here I was relaxed thinking you won't bring it up after the embarrassing story question.

Ethan: (Whole-hearted chuckle) But technically it was your first kiss, accidental or not.

Pooja: (Totally embarrassed) Whatever.

Ethan: This was when she was 14. There was guy in her class who liked her, and wanted to date her. One day, Pooja slipped on a puddle of water, and he, trying to help, held her hand. The next moment, he was on the top of her, lips touching.

Pooja: (in a pleading tone) Please, Pleease, Stop. It's too embarrassing!

6. If you two were the same age and had met in college, how would you have met? Would you have liked each other? Dated? Eventually married?

Pooja: Oh, most definitely! Honestly, I feel like us falling in love is inevitable.

Ethan: I do not believe in soulmate stuff, but it's unimaginable for me to not fall in love with you.

Pooja: (lays her head on his shoulder as he gives her a kiss on the forehead) I think we would have met as opponents at a debate competition. We would be the only two yelling till the end of the competition, trying to prove the other wrong, until the judges got fed up and asked us to stop. Even after the competition, we would still meet in the corridors and tell the other how wrong they were.

Ethan: After sometime, we would become friends over shared interests, and after getting to know her, I would naturally start to fall for her.

Pooja: Me too! I would be totally like, "No matter how much he yells and how wrong he was, he is still cute. And not a totally bad guy." We would gradually become best friends.

Ethan: I would be the one to comfort her when she discovers her crush is in relationship with someone else.

Pooja: And you would realize that you are in love with me (gives him an elbow nudge)

Ethan: (softly smiling) Maybe I would. And I would imagine you falling in love with me not much later.

Pooja: And then we would be sitting alone, talking about random stuff. Suddenly we look at each other's eyes, and before we realize it, we are kissing.

Ethan: We would start dating afterwards, all through med school and residency. I would definitely want to marry her, have a future with her. I like to imagine that I would be lucky enough and she would agree to be mine.

Pooja: No matter which universe, I would always agree to marry you. Every time.

(They share a soft kiss, heart full of love for each other)

7. Which of your spouse's friends is the most attractive?

Ethan: All her friends are quite attractive, even if she the only one who catches my eye.

Pooja: I am assuming that you mean all my current friends and not ex-friends. Or Landry.

(Ethan's face scrunches up in disgust and Pooja's question is answered)

Pooja: For me, it's Tobias.

Ethan: (Rolls his eyes) Him out of everyone else? You could have said Mark.

Pooja: Mark is attractive, for sure, but he has become more of my brother over time. Also, if he got to know it, he would never let me live it down (chuckles)

Ethan: But still, Tobias...

Pooja: You are jealous, aren't you? (Winks)

Ethan: (Quickly straightens his face) No, Of course not. I don't get jealous Rookie, don't forget.

Pooja: Sure thing, E, sure thing.

8. Who was your spouse's hero when they were growing up?

Ethan: Pooja and I have similar opinions on this. We don't have a hero or an idol. Yes, there are quite a few people who have inspired us, but we both don't have any hero. For Pooja, it was her parents, especially her mother. Later on, it was Kadambini Bose, the first woman from India to practice medicine and (gives a striking smile, bubbling with happiness) of course, me.

Pooja: (Mimicking him) Of course, me.

Ethan: (in a teasing tone) Is it not true?

(Pooja just rolls her eyes)

Pooja: For Ethan, it was his father and Naveen.

Ethan: You too, Rookie.

Pooja: (With genuine curiosity) Me?

Ethan: You have inspired me to appreciate the little things in life and to love myself. You have played a big role in making me the man I am today.

Pooja: (Sniffles) Did you come here with an aim to make me cry, Dr Ramsey?

Ethan: (Smiling at her) It's the truth and you should know it.

9. Can you name all your spouse’s exes before you?

Ethan: This is probably the easiest question for me to answer. She has had three relationships in total. A lot of crushes, but very few actual relationships. One was during her middle school, I guess his name was Shresht. The second one was with her best friend, Ayaan and lasted all through med school. The last one, is Me.

Pooja: The ones I know are Eva and Rosalie in high school, Renia in med school and Harper during his residency and after. Ethan has a number of casual and serious relationships and honestly, I am not surprised. Everyone wants to be with a man like him (Winks)

Ethan: You are the only one who can have me.

Pooja: (Places a hand over her heart) I am honoured, Dr Ramsey. And lucky, so damn lucky.

Ethan: I am lucky one here, love. (Gives her a forehead kiss)

[theteapotofdoom]

Hiii!!!! I love you and your blog sm. Your "Something Good" is so well done and it's obvious you care about it. I read your Chisaki/Tomura fic and even that was good quality despite the darker themes. I cannot wait for the new chapter of SG but no pressure!!!! Writing can be hard and especially if people bother you a lot so please rest and keep in mind YOU are more important. I'm curious if you could reccomend long fics with the LoV as main central point. Again, I hope you're fine and healthy!!

Hello hello! :D

First of all, thank you for such a kind and sweet message! It means a lot, I’m really honoured!!! I’m glad that you enjoy SG so much and even enjoyed Above The City Lights as well! 

I’m excited to share the rest of the story with everyone! I don’t have too much time right now, but it will be coming as soon as I can I promise! I’m lucky that everyone has always been very patient and understanding with me! (Also I’m home healthy, thank you for asking, I hope you’re okay too!)

A lot of people have been asking me for my favourite shigadabi/LOV fics.

These two have been in my inbox for a while, I’m really sorry! The truth is that I don’t really have that much time to read fics at the moment, and whenever I do have the time, I read other fandoms than BNHA. I think that because I always write so much for the LOV and Shigadabi that at the moment, I prefer to read other things. Shig and the squad are always on my mind, so if I need to clear my head a bit if that makes sense? 

That being said, I still have a lot of fics I can recommend! They just won’t be recent fics. I hope that’s okay? If some of you guys are relatively new to the fandom and the ship, maybe it will be cool to discover some “vintage” shigadabi! :D

Okay so first, I’m going to be a selfish bean and plug my own stuff, and encourage you all to read all of my Shigadabi fics! Something Good is the most popular one, but I also wrote a lot of different one-shots for the boys! You can check it all out here!

Now for the rest, I’ll start with the “softer’ ones, without any lemon content in it in case that’s not your thing:

A Reason to Hold Your Hand by CubeCreep. One of my first Shigadabi fic, and the one that made me realized that the two could work in a civilian au. It’s still ongoing, but you can already read 12 wonderful chapters about florist Tomura and tattoo artist Dabi. They’re still assholes which is great, but also very soft. Very good shit. 

sometimes a family is two dads, an uncle and six children by crosstie. Another huge inspiration for me! The characterization of the rest of the league in SG is heavily based on this. It’s a chat fic, which allows a lot of meme shenanigans, which has both shigadabi and black magic (kurogiri/compress) and it’s basically about the beautiful chaotic loving family that is the LOV. Very good.

Wrong Number by Iokorue and Lady_vermillion. The authors of the fic said they were inspired by Something Good which is a huuuuuge honor! But the fic is still very much it’s own thing and it’s wonderful! It’s still ongoing, and it’s about Dabi getting a fake number and accidentally messaging Tomura, and the two of them awkwardly flirting and becoming friends. Very soft!

The One with the Pomeranian by inanimaterambles. Very pure one-shot about Tomura who has to take care of a dog Dabi brought back. Tomura gets attached, the league is supportive, and Dabi uses the dog as a pickup line and as a way to flirt with Tomura. P U R E.

how could you cry for me by my spouse nya_kirishima. Good soft emo teenage boys meet at a concert a kiss a little. Basically, teenage Tomura goes to a show and is helped out of a panic attack by a mysterious scarred boy. This one will give you all the feels BUT IT’S SO SOFT.

how about that drink? by best gurl babesandbaddies. Dabi drunkenly flirts with Tomura one night at the bar and they talk about the things they’ll do once they stop fighting. Good boys.

Warmth and come find me in the dark by sushibomb. Two classics. Tomura gets cold and uses Dabi as his personal heater and the two boys learn things about each other.

A New Kind Of Itch by Themooncat. Tomura getting neck kisses is god tier content okay? Check the author because it has a SPICY sequel!

Not that different by HandleAllOfThisAesthetic. This one gets a little steamy but nothing explicit. AND OOF BOY THIS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. I stan this fic so much … It’s just two very sad boys making out one night, and it’s so beautiful because they never felt affection before and Tomura is legit cryings because of how good he feels and I’m emo okay. This one is god tier.

The Mistletoe Is Burning by CubeCreep. A super pure Christmas fic!!! This one is also more of a “LOV is big family” fic, but it has a big shigadabi focus and it’s very soft … I love them so much.

A Game Of Grapes by Redsuum. This one comes with a little warning because it has some angst undertone and an “ambiguous” ending, but I find very soft and wholesome! Tomura refuses to eat healthy… at least until Dabi turns it into a game. Dabi is very smitten.

Also, I’m kind of cheating here, but I would just recommend everything written by WinteryFall. You might know the author because they’re also an incredibly talented and productive artist sharing their works here on Tumblr under the username lumilasi. They’re a good friend of mine, and I just want to recommend all of their work really! They’re extremely productive and creative, and you will absolutely find your happiness with them. Just go binge-read their work!!! Have a blast!!! If you don’t know where to start, just know that they wrote a crossover fic with their own shigadabi AU and Something Good and that it’s my favourite thing in the whole world! Read it here!

Now, if you like sexy lemon content, here are some good ones (reader’s discretion advised as always, check the tags and the rating).

Vantablack by EldritchChoir. Still ongoing but OOOF BOY. This fic is wonderful, the smut is excellent but the characterization and world-building are where it truly shines. An AU in which quirks are illegal and Tomura is a sort of mob prince and Dabi is his tattoo artist. We get masochist Shiggy and sadist Dabi and it’s really good. Like the smut is pretty hard, but just a wonderful character study for both of them.

i’ve got a right to hurt inside by stendhal. This is one is actually very soft and a little angsty. Tomura is having a dissociating episode and comes to Dabi in his bath to get some comfort that Dabi more than willing to give. Listen … Dabi is so completely in love with Tomura in this fic it’s so wonderful he cherishes him so much … Soft boys.

Days of Bloom by drunkenCharm. Very soft and wholesome. The boys are already an estblished couple and Tomura feels a little down so Dabi tells him everything he loves about him and then they have some soft giggly sex. Again, Dabi cherishes Tomura so much in this one, and the sex it’s so tender and loving I stan.

Good Vibrations by drunkenCharm. THE ULTIMATE HOT MESS TOMURA AND TEASING DABI FIC OMG I ADORE IT. Tomura doesn’t know what a vibe is and Dabi is using one on him for the first time … Tomura is a hot blushing moaning mess and Dabi teases him to death while being very loving and caring and I read this one a lot okay.

Can’t Fucking Stand You by frozenCinders. Another hot mess Tomura with teasing Dabi, except that in this one Tomura is more of a loud brat and Dabi more of a little bitch. Tomura complains a lot so Dabi slow downs the pace. I love this one because they’re both assholes and it’s great.

Before I Ever Met You by drunkenCharm. I think this one was actually my first shigadabi fic? I’m not sure. But yes, Tomura wants to have his first time with Dabi (not because he like him or anything) and Dabi says yes (not because he was waiting for this or anything). So Tomura gets tied up to the bed and Dabi established a non-kissing rule that’s gonna be broken real fast. Good stuff.

Blank Canvas by devastating. Dabi is obsessed with Tomura’s pale white skin and wants to cover it with bites, kisses, and hickeys. And he does and it’s glorious. I recommend also checking Playing by the same author for more Tomura getting teased by Dabi.

i put a spell on you by tessalate. This one was actually a gift for me after a conversation I had with the author (who is a close friend). Listen, sometimes you just need to read about “yandere” Dabi being obsessed with Tomura and Tomura being kind of into it because he is such an attention hoe. Definitely an unhealthy relationship but fascinating to watch! 

knee socks but tessalate. Tomura is wearing the knee socks that Dabi got for him and things get steamy real fast. And it’s delightful!

Here you go! I’m sure there is more, but that should be enough for now! Like I said, a lot of these works are at least one year old because I haven’t read many recent things, but I hope that’s alright! Treat yourself with some shigadabi content as we all stay home!

[gofancyninjaworld]

Why do you think Genos isn't weak? I agree that he can fight monsters but he won't stand a chance against strong monsters. He has been with Saitama for the longest time but he never learned anything. His naivety is the reason why he is weak, he is still consumed by the "normative awareness". His reaction to Amai Mask's transformation is a proof of that. His mindset never grew. He respects Saitama but does not understand him, which is why he is weak.

Please let me apologise in advance. First, this is long. Second, I do have a lot of thoughts.

Yeah, But

There isn’t a character in this series where the fanbase disagrees with the writer so deeply as this guy.  When interviewed, ONE insouciantly said ‘Genos is rather strong, even for a Class S hero,’ and fans went, ‘huh? You could have fooled us!’  It’s not without cause.  No matter how well his fights go, ONE always makes sure that we can append an asterix to it, that we can go yeah, but*

Right from the get go, every victory is downplayed. He thrashed Armored Gorilla, but we had no idea how strong Armored Gorilla was. Not for many, many chapters, until a much-shrunken, unarmored Armored Gorilla killed a tiger-level monster with one punch.   He clears a city and defeats two troublesome demon-level monsters in a matter of minutes? Yeah, but look at the state of his arms and oh! see, see, he just got flattened by that other monster!  Bang needs to save Garou from his clutches?  Yeah, but what if Garou was well?  He’s turning monster after monster into Cubist expressions without getting a speck of blood on him? Yeah, but it’s not like we can see what’s going on – the camera pans everywhere else.  He does the unbelievable against Elder Centipede?  We start going wow, followed quickly by – yeah but the monster regenerated, he’s fated to always lose.  He destroys G-5 without effort?  Oh My GAWD!  The Honour of Atomic Samurai [1] Has Been Besmirched!  (me: huh how does that follow? No, don’t explain – I do understand. Because Genos is seen as weak, if he does what another character couldn’t, then it’s seen as a disgrace to the other character, not an achievement for him.)

battle without honour – if he beat Garou, then he’s a bully, if he didn’t, then he’s a wimp

Of course, the converse is also true. If Genos is having a bad time, the camera lingers in 4K with extra slow-mo. And if the action switches, like when he went from struggling against G-4 to working out how to shut the robot’s lasers down and pull it into punching range, the camera pans away, returning only to feast on the grisly aftermath.

The final clincher is Genos himself, who never reacts with the slightest sense of celebration or triumph no matter how well a fight goes.  His lack of joy in fights is something that ONE has emphasised to Murata.   Being able to celebrate with characters is half the joy of watching them fight.

by contrast, hell yeah, Metal Bat! The story leaves no room for doubt that Metal Bat’s to be found awesome. And he is!  :)

The reason I go into all this is that I get it: Genos is presented to us in a way that gives us cause to doubt his strength.  In that, he’s like the opposite of Saitama, who is presented to us so we can have no doubt as to his strength, but to the internal audience in a way that keeps raising doubts in their minds.

But Genos is strong. He’s physically very strong, very fast, and versatile.  And he’s far less fragile than he is popularly made out to be. There is no reason he shouldn’t be able to take on very strong monsters, subject to match up (like almost every other hero [2]). However, ONE will make damn sure that Genos does not get to appreciate how much more powerful he has grown. What’s it going to be? What’s it going to take this time to knock down Demon Cyborg? Are several cadre going to attack him at the same time? Or will the super-insane monster that looks like the lovechild of Smaug, better-looking Sauruman and a hydra perched at the top of the mile high tower do him in first?  What’s going to *keep* him down? Place your bets, folk: the outcome is sure to be gruesome.

Which actually brings me directly to addressing your assertion: “…but he won’t stand a chance against strong monsters.“  Because it presupposes that Genos MUST be weak, any monster he defeats can’t possibly be strong.  A more honest rephrasing would be ‘I’m not prepared to accept that any monster that Genos could defeat is strong.’

No mental growth? Really?

That’s the physical part.  Let’s go onto mentality.  Annoyingly, I have to treat the manga and webcomic as separate entities at this point.  If you like the detail, I’ve written an extensive side-by-side comparison essay: link. You can skip it for this answer. :)

You know what would have made me think Genos weak?  If Saitama’s fears for what might be happening to him the morning he caught up with Garou had come true:

Before Elder Centipede showed up, Genos had told Garou that he’d finally begun to understand what Saitama had been saying to him about strengthening his spirit.  And then ONE put that to the test when he put Genos in the worst pinch the latter had ever been in: chopped in half and about to be devoured by a monster, with the only heroes watching those who’d proved impotent [3] to do anything to the monster.  Instead of giving up the way he had against Mosquito Girl, Genos dug deep and not only saved himself, but counter-attacked and burned the monster from stem to stern.  That is excellent: there is no place for a character who cannot find self-efficacy in a pinch.  

Without doubt, Genos has further to go, but in the manga it is wilful blindness to claim that he hasn’t developed mentally.

Now, let’s move onto the webcomic.

Even though ONE has done far less with his character in the webcomic than he has in the manga, Genos is back and fighting when most of his classmates are still rolling on the ground, unable to come to terms with losing. There is a real strength to getting up again and moving forward. 

It’s not that Genos doesn’t have any doubts: he does.  From his crushing realisation that he had made a mistake in giving up his human body to asking if he can really become stronger by changing his parts, Genos is very aware of a sense of stagnation and appears very worried by something.  But still, he’s not giving up and he’s not stopped looking to make progress.

even as Saitama despairs of being able to help, he cannot fault Genos for his determination

Still, why cheer for a loser?

There’s a real cognitive dissonance in fans who praise to the high heavens and write as inspirational Saitama’s words to keep trying and moving forward, no matter what, and yet are happy to mock Genos for doing exactly that.

There’s no honour for you if you laugh at characters taking Saitama’s advice

It’s amazing.  Does anyone imagine that before Saitama became too strong, he never failed? Really?  Saitama himself will disagree with that!  Sometimes success looks like reaching the summit of a mountain, but often, it’s only visible in the rearview mirror.  We saw it took Saitama a long time to finally accept that yup, he was just the strongest.

Something I came to realise a while back, people say they love seeing struggle, but real fights don’t sell well in mass media (yes, I have more extensive thoughts on this, here). We like the struggle, but we want the assurance that the underdog has something in their favour that will guarantee that we’re backing a winner.  At one level, we know we’re just watching *how* Garou is going to succeed… at least until Saitama body-checks him to great dramatic effect.

Goodness knows that everything is arranged against Genos and success. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble recounting most of them:

His lack of a biological body to train up.

His dependence on a mechanical body with its set in stone limitations.

His dependence on the cleverness and resources of others.

His lack of innate talent or heritage (and if he had any, they’ve long since been binned).

His stubborn persistence on a pathway we’re sure cannot possibly succeed.

His mentality, which is getting better, but isn’t there yet.

His persistent psychological problems that put him at high risk of turning into a monster instead.

The unresolved mysteries surrounding him, which make lots of fans think there’s a devastating revelation at hand from which he cannot recover.

And oh, he’s not the most likeable or relatable character out there. It shouldn’t be a factor, but it totally is.

And yet, Genos hasn’t stopped moving forward.  No idea how far he’ll get, but so far, Genos has not set himself a limit to the number of times he’s willing to get himself up and try again.  Not only that, he’s raised his sights higher, not lower.

For that and more, I’m not only happy to call Genos strong, but I’m willing to follow along with him however far or short his journey ends up being.

The risk of heartbreak is worth the excitement of seeing a real fighter working out his uncertain destiny.

no one can accuse him of lacking ambition. Gambatte!

Asides

[1] I know there’s a meme going round about Atomic Samurai being weak, but it’s as much in jest as the one about King being strong.  Anyone believing Atomic weak has piss-holes for eyes.

[2] There’s a reason Phoenixman highlights four heroes in particular – Blast, Tatsumaki, Metal Knight and King (Saitama).  They’re the heroes who are so strong that they’ve broken out of the tyranny of match up.  Everyone else has something they can’t deal with.

[3] You’re calling two old men impotent? Have you no shame?! In general, no, I haven’t much shame.  In this specific instance, it is entirely warranted.

[thisbluespirit]

Ten Favourite Characters

Memed from @mariocki​  And despite the numbering, not really in strict order, although I tried and no. 1 is definitely no. 1. 

10. Kathryn Janeway

"There are three things to remember about being a starship captain. Keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship... and never abandon a member of your crew."

Okay, basically, me and Star Trek is: I like it if it has Captain Janeway in it.  If it does not have Captain Janeway in it, I might go so far as to mildly enjoy it from time to time, but Janeway is the essential thing.  I walked in one day and saw Kate Mulgrew on the screen and sat down immediately, eventually asking my friend, in hushed tones of awe, “Who is that?”  (I’m not even joking.)  (I don’t hate the rest of ST or anything, but, you know.  It’s not Doctor Who and it doesn’t have Captain Janeway in it, what can I say?  I like the one with the whales, too?)

9. Jenkins

“Magic is not an exact science. If it were, it would be science.”

With Jenkins (John Larroquette), The Librarians takes a mythical character I never gave a thought to, or imagined I would want to, and gave me All the Feels about him.  By the end of S1, I was drawing hearts around Jenkins every time he appeared and that happens all too rarely at the moment, so I think he has to go on this list.  (I’m a Doctor Who fan, how could I not love a grumpy immortal caretaker with a magic door and a heart of gold?) *draws hearts around him regardless of his disapproval and annoyance at said hearts*

8. G’kar

“No dictator, no invader can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power tyrants and dictators cannot stand. The Centauri learned that lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years, we will be free.”

G’kar’s arc is just beautiful (from semi-villainous schemer to unwilling religious icon), as is every part of his epic relationship with Londo, and he is my favourite.  There was a period in S1 where there were about 7 episodes without him and I nearly died.  And, I mean, I really like Babylon 5 and everybody else in it, but that was just cruel and unusual.  Thank goodness it never happened again.  Andreas Katsulas was just brilliant.

7. Seventh Doctor

"That's what guns are for. Pull the trigger, end a life. Simple, isn't it?  Why don't you do it, then?  Look me in the eye, pull the trigger, end my life.  Why not?"

What do you do with a thing like Doctor Who in a meme like this?  I could do my top ten fave characters just in Doctors, let alone companions, before we even get started on minor characters, so let’s have my favourite Doctor do the honours for everyone here.  He hates unrequited love, loathes bus stations (terrible places, full of lost souls and lost luggage), and knows we all have a universe of our own terrors to face, and he’ll be back in time for tea.

With Ace, of course, who is also the best.  As are so many of the rest.

6. Servalan

"There’s no one as free as a dead man.”

It’s so hard to choose Blake’s 7 characters!  They’re all so fascinating, that’s why it still gets watched and loved.  If I’m honest it’s Vila or Servalan, and today I went for Servalan, which probably will save anyone from getting stabbed in the back.  I love me an evil lady and Jacqueline Pearce’s Servalan is probably my favourite villain in anything, especially in terms of characters who remain irredeemable, but are also plausible and interesting.  She’s certainly the most fabulously dressed, anyway.

5. Lynda Day

”I don’t do conversation.  Everything I say comes out like an order.  I say hello and people salute!”

Like every other girl of my very specific age demographic in the UK (Press Gang was watched by something ridiculous like 80% of its target teenage audience, which I don’t think has ever happened before or since), I wanted to grow up to be Lynda Day, dictator editor of the Junior Gazette.  It’s probably as well that none of us did, but she was the very best, and I remain grateful to have had her around, and Julia Sawalha was always fantastic right from trespassers will be exterminated to there are crocodiles. 

4. Silver

Sapphire: “You’re supposed to lose sometimes.”

Silver: “Oh! I wondered why I wasn’t having any fun.”

So, Sapphire and Steel are pretty amazing, right, but let’s be honest, I was always watching this for the red-headed guy in Assignments 3 & 6, and he did not disappoint.  I mean, Sapphire & Steel is the weirdest, creepiest low-budget thing with our srs bsns inhuman heroes and then suddenly David Collings turns up and makes light-bulbs glow and turn into glitter.  He is the sparkliest, no one can deny it and he can slide right into the perfect OTP and turn it into the even shinier OT3.  Not that that stops him flirting with everyone else as well, of course.

3. Regina Mills

“There's no redemption for me. There's only suffering. Because now I have a curse. The curse of knowing the difference between good and evil. And I'm caught between them. If I revert, I lose everyone I love. Henry, my friends, everyone. And if I go forward trying to be good, I have to live with my past darkness and all its well-deserved consequences... But for me, it's a simple choice really. I'd rather suffer than see that pain on the people I care about. This is my fate.“                            

Regina gets to go from being Once Upon A Time’s original OTT fairytale villain to hero (and plays out every possible shade in between, plus various cursed and alternate versions of herself, not to mention her evil doppelganger), and Lana Parrilla’s just amazing at All The Things.  I went from not even liking her to somehow letting her rip my heart right out of my chest when I wasn’t looking.  (Bonus shout out to her mother Cora Mills/Queen of Hearts (Barbara Hershey) too.)

2. Frank Marker

"Have you heard about old heads on young shoulders?  Well, you employ me, you get an old head.  You get old shoulders, too, but then no-one's perfect."

I’m with @mariocki​ here: Alfred Burke’s run down, small-time enquiry agent in Public Eye (TV 1965-75) is one of the most utterly 3D, real and compelling TV characters I’ve ever come across.  (With a bonus mention for the very lovely Helen Mortimer (Pauline Delany), because I might even love her a tiny bit more than Frank some days. <3)

1. Ruth Evershed

“I like to think no institution in the country is safe from me.”

I had to think about this long and hard a while ago, and Nicola Walker’s Ruth from Spooks | MI5 is still probably my favourite character in anything.  It’s tough.  But RUTH.  I love her so much.  There’s a S2 DVD commentary with Howard Brenton and Nicola Walker on her first episode and basically Nicola just sits there going, “I love Ruth.”  And I’m: “ME TOO.” From her first appearance, dropping the files, buggering the Home Office, and breaking the desk lamp to more serious, angsty, later stuff, she’s just so damn good at her job (and in Spooks that’s a tragedy waiting to happen).

It’s really hard to list only 10 though.  I’m an all-eras Doctor Who fan.  I’d need three posts at least just to start on that, I keep falling in love with characters from ancient telly and every now and then I even watch new things...

[onlyfangz]

Due to the New Pokemon Game: Part 2, Scots is a Language

Introduction

 So some people were a bit confused last time as to why Scotland and Pokemon would be related in any capacity except perhaps Scottish people play it. Well, with the upcoming release of Pokemon Sword & Shield, it has been confirmed that the island that it is set is the fantasy equivalent of the UK, and with Scotland being part of the UK (although some of us loathe to admit it), it should be fair that we get a bit of representation too.

 It all started when the player model was released and they were seen to be wearing a beret, but it was soon pointed out to actually be a traditional Scottish hat, a Tam O’Shanter. This led to some rather... offensive jokes at the expense of Scottish people and our language, which in turn I addressed in the first part of [this] post which discredits some stereotypes, as well as just giving some fun facts you might not have known about Scotland. Well, it kind of blew up in a way I didn’t expect, but it was brought to my attention that I didn’t focus on Scots language enough as this is what most of the memes are about, so here I am, making this post, and here you are, reading it.

 Hopefully that clears things up, and hopefully this’ll be more comprehensive and easier to follow than just bullet points of Things.

1: The Memes

 Okay, so there’s a chance you might have no idea what I’m talking about, and that can be due to the fact that you’ve a) not seen any of these memes at all, or b) are privileged enough to not realize that these memes are actually quite offensive. So let’s start off with some examples.

a)

credit: @merryweathery (twitter)

b)

credit: @yunko (twitter)

c)

credit: @deputyrust (twitter)

d)

credit: @captainhanyuu (twitter)

 So, what do all of these have in common except a bad sense of humour? Well, the Scottish protagonist is being portrayed as drunk, rude, foul-mouthed, violent, and they all have butchered attempts at Scots in them (sans d.)

BONUS: If you’re interested how they actually should be wrote: 

a) wit ye starin at ye wee posh cunt? are we gonnae huv a fuckin pokemon fight or wit?

b) get oot the fuckin ball ye wee shite

c) wit did ye say aboot me ya *jess? 

(* I have never heard the insult used in the original, so I changed it bc I had literally no idea how to translate that.)

 The point of the matter is, no, you cannot speak Scots, and no, you really shouldn’t try or you’ll really see how foul-mouthed and violent we really can be.

2: But Why Do You Type In Your Accent Anyways?

 Short answer: we don’t.

 Long answer: In 2011 for the first time ever, Scots was listed as a language in the national census. It reported back that 1.5 million people could speak Scots, and 1.9 million people could write, read, or understand Scots. That is roughly 30% of the population, which is 29% more people who can speak Scottish Gaelic.

 The only place that Scots is spoken is Scotland itself, and as the sole indigenous speakers, the Government started to take action in preserving the language and made it official. So, I could stop there because there’s your answer - it is recognized as an official language in Scotland, therefore, it’s a language, except I won’t.

 Scots is taught in schools across the country, and there has been many books published in Scots from children’s books such as “The Eejits” by Roald Dahl (The Twits), right up to the Holy Bible! (Fun fact: There is an exception in the Scots Holy Bible in which Scots isn’t spoken or written, and that is when Satan speaks. Instead, he speaks in British English, because we are quite cheeky.)

 Also - Scots is completely different from region to region! The West Coast and the East Coast have two different versions. The Borders, and the Highlands don’t sound the same. It is a constantly fluctuating language! I am from the West Coast of Scotland, and whenever I read or hear Highlands Scots I feel as though I’m having a stroke because it is similar, but not quite the same. So don’t worry, you’re not alone in your confusion!

 We use Scots casually as any language, and it can actually be quite hard to speak plain English! I’m an actor, so speaking plain British English is an important skill for me to have, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen and you throw in a few Scots words without even realizing. We use Scots when talking to our friends, when we’re at the shops, when we’re getting in a taxi, and all the little things in between!

Time for a choose your route! See part (a) if you feel positively about this post, or alternatively, see part (b) if you feel negatively about this post.

3(a): Oh. I Didn’t Realize I Was Being Offensive.

 Most people don’t realize that making fun of a minority language can be taken as an offence, so honestly, it’s nothing to worry about. The best way you can rectify your mistake is to stop making memes like the ones shown above, stop trying to speak Scots unless you’re being taught it and actively want to try and learn it (in which case - you can always message me to have a chat in Scots), and for the love of God you do not need to tell us that you understand something in Scots. You’re amongst people who’ve been speaking it since they could talk, it’s not a special badge of honour.

3(b): You Scots Are A Little Sensitive.

Eat sand.

4: Okay, I Think I Understand Now.

 Well I really hope that’s cleared things up for you now, and hopefully you understand Scots a little better. As I said before, if you’re ever interested in learning more, feel free to contact me!

 Well a really hope tha’s cleared hings up fur ye noo, an hopefully ye understaun Scots a wee bit better. As a said before, if yer ever interested in learning mare, feel free tae contact me!

5: So How Do I Learn Scots?

 Well there’s loads of things you can do! You can watch Scottish movies like Trainspotting 1 & 2, and The Wee Man. You can read books in Scots such as the ones I gave examples for above, but there are loads more! You can watch Scottish YouTubers who speak in Scots. You can speak to a Scottish person. It’s like learning any language, you just won’t find it on Duolingo unfortunately!

Sources:

knowyourmeme gov.scot

[weregonnaneedmorewhiskey]

Social Media:Guilty in the court of public opinion. The problem with cancel culture and its toxic nature and why I have a major problem with it

DISCLAIMER: If you read parts of this and not the whole thing and type a “rebuttal”. Just save your time and don’t do it because you don’t the smoke

Ok before I start, I would like to say this. 1. If you are an ignorant person who cannot accept the opinions and thought of others then don’t read this. 2. If you don’t take the time to look at facts, then don’t read this. I don't have time for you and 3. If you are to crucify people then you can just go. I just gave you some warnings already so why is your ass still here?! Ok I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I think social media can be great in terms of communicating with others and making friends online and of course sharing memes and funny videos because those are fantastic. Social media can be great for displaying people’s interests and talents. I myself have a photography blog alongside this one and some people have made a career from social media. However like all good things, it has its ugly side. In the last year or so, a trend has appeared on social media and that's cancel culture. I myself have never taken part in cancel culture myself as I thought it was toxic, immature and petty in most circumstances. I'm definite that cancel culture will come to an end (hopefully this year) but for now, we have to deal with it on our timelines. Anything that is either taken out of context, blow out of proportion or is a simple mistake will face the court of public opinion. The social justice warriors of the internet, the holier than thou folks will decide your fate.

First and for most, we all need to remember that we are all human. We make mistakes and we learn from it. I am not better than the next person as I have made my fuck ups at the end of the day but we all grow and evolve. I have several problems with cancel culture. If a person makes a mistake or has made a mistake in the past, that does not give you the right to ruin them. By doing so you are no better than the person who’s made a mistake and you are ruining a person’s life. Prime example, Kevin Hart and the Oscars. Kevin Hart was forced to step down as the host for this year's Oscars ceremony due to some homophobic tweets from 2009. Whilst I believe that homophobia is wrong, Kevin has moved on from a tweet that he made almost a decade ago in which that comments probably wouldn’t have taken as seriously. Kevin has grown and evolved but the court of public opinion has forced him to step down from the role due to the mass controversy. If you are searching through old tweets from 2009, you clearly have an agenda to ruin a person’s life because you are blinded by your hatred and do not want to see someone have success. This role was an amazing opportunity for Kevin but because of this toxic era of being overly PC, it was taken away because people wanted to hold his past against him and not acknowledge his evolution. 

Now let’s get to how cancel culture is effecting the legal system. We’ve all heard the term “innocent until proven guilty”. In terms of the legal system, this is still true but for social media, this isn't the cause. Cancel culture has pronounced people to be guilty into proven innocent. People are no longer reading the facts, they are immediate to jump to conclusion, therefor inspiring this title “guilty in the court of public opinion” This is extremely dangerous. Social media should have no influence in the judicial system WHATSOEVER unless the person has committed the crime on Instagram Live (a man who raped someone on Instagram Live was recently found not guilty, just letting you know. What a fucked up world we’re living in huh?). When it comes to a case, people need to look at the evidence that has been presented and not from outside influences especially if it turns out shock horror that the person is actually innocent and then they’ve been sentenced to 25 to life. 

This leads perfectly leads into my next point. So if you've been on Twitter in the last 24 hours then you would have seen that Chris Brown was detained in Paris for several hours on a rape complaint. Now before I go into this and break this down, if you are expecting me to drag Chris and call him a piece of shit and xyz, you can stop reading this now because I’m happy to let you know that I am a fan of Chris and have been since his debut. Now when this report broke out, I immediately went and read the whole report because we look at facts in this household. As soon as I saw that the “accuser” had done an interview with Closer Magazine France and went to The Shade Room, I immediately raised an eyebrow because why would you go to a tabloid before going to the police? This rang some serious bells and red flags and reminded of another incident involving Chris.

 Back in 2016, a woman went to TMZ to say that Chris had held her at gunpoint. Again if you were held at gunpoint, then why are you going to a tabloid? Eventually LAPD found out that this was a false allegation and Chris was released from jail and the charges were dropped. Another thought that popped across my mind is that “I don’t think Chris is that stupid to do something like with the amount of negative press he's had in career over the last decade and I can’t see him doing something like especially since he has a daughter who is his life and who has helped him grow up significantly” . Bear in mind Chris has not made a public appearance since October when he attended Diddy’s Halloween party and his public appearance are few and far between now within the last few years with Royalty in his life. He mainly stay at home or is on the road. Paris fashion week is the first public appearance from him in months. 

The accuser then went on to Instagram to say that she was not raped by Chris and he was not even present at the club that it was claimed that they met. Several eyewitnesses also went to social media to confirm that the allegations were false and that Chris never had an encounter with this woman and that he has never been alone at one point during this Paris trip. (PSA can we you know go to the fucking police to give statements to prove someone is innocent or guilty instead of going to social media because you are screwing with someone’s livelihood here!). Of course the court of public opinion came and gave their two cents on the situation and they pretty much proclaimed that Chris was guilty without looking at the facts. 

Now if you are about to say “well look at 2009?” Yes Chris made a mistake which I don't agree with but we also need to remind/enlighten ourselves that the Rihanna incident was A FIGHT and both parties were wrong. She should have not hit him and he shouldn’t have retaliated. (side note: can we hold women accountable of when they are abusive towards men because there is a serious gender bias when it comes to abuse in relationships and we need to remind ourselves both genders can be abusive). He has also evolved from that and showed genuine remorse for the situation. The majority of social media were on Chris’ side in regards to this situation and he was eventually released from police custody when the French police found out the accusations was false and issued an apology to Chris and told him that he was free to leave the country. Chris’ lawyer has said that he intends to sue for defamation of character rightly so and Chris has also gone to social media to deny the allegation. Chris’ situation sparks several different issues. The first being in regards to social media. It is extremely dangerous and toxic to contribute to a false narrative without looking at the fact especially with a charge as serious as rape and even more the silence upon it being revealed that accusations were false just shows how DISGUSTING people can be since many people wanted this accusations to be true. 

This shows the type of world we live in that people WANT a woman to be raped all the expense of not liking someone. I cannot associate myself with people who think like this when they are actual rapists such as R Kelly who is yet to be charged for his NUMEROUS crimes against underage black girls despite concrete evidence and a tape but yet we can arrest Chris on a false accusation and several eyewitness and hotel footage to show that he didn't commit this crime? Kevin Spacey and Matt Lauer are also rapists who careers have ended but have yet to be charged for the crime despite once again having concrete evidence and eyewitnesses. The president of the United States is also guilty of sexual assault and is on a recording bragging about his crimes like its a badge of honour. Brett Kavanaugh is walking a free man despite also having concrete evidence and eyewitness confirming his crime. Asia Argento, a victim of Harvey Weinstein was discovered to be guilty of sexual abuse after a young man came forward about how he was abused by Asia as a teenager. Harvey Weinstein is awaiting trial for his numerous crimes. Why can't the court of public opinion keep the same energy they had for a man who was innocent for those who are guilty. Secondly in light of the Me too movement, to accuse someone of a crime as serious as rape is extremely dangerous to their career and their character, a person’s life can be destroy at the expense of an opportunist. Additionally to lie about rape is DISGUSTING! This is what stops ACTUAL rape victims from coming forward because we have people who lie about it and the true victims aren't taken as seriously as a result. I would also think in light of the Me Too movement and Surviving R Kelly, people would pay more attention to the facts now before we “cancel” people.  Personally I think that if you lie about a offence as serious as rape, you should go to jail and get sued because you are evil and karma will come to you. What if this your brother or your son or uncle or dad etc who was being accused of this crime? How would you feel if everyone thought they were guilty because of a mistake they made a teenager that has nothing to do with what they were currently accused of? Just think about that for a moment. 

To end this I think Chris deserves an apology, one of them being from Eve after her comments on The Talk and that he should not only sue the women who lied but should sue media outlets such as TMZ and The Shade Room for defamation of character and let's remember this: innocent until proven guilty and look at the facts (in this day and age we really need to do this)

Update: Malibu Dollface made a video pretty much explaining everything I feel about cancel culture. Please watch and support him because he’s amazing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah4ZfxTqT5s

[indispensablx]

‘MEDICI: MASTERS OF FLORENCE’ SENTENCE STARTERS MASTER MEME!!

please feel free to change pronouns, locations, titles etc at your pleasure! they will be in italics for ease.

episode one: original sin:  ❝ I can change the world for us. ❞ ❝ We can’t grieve this man, we should celebrate! ❞ ❝ Power breeds enemies. ❞ ❝ I fear you are even more your father than he was. ❞ ❝ Stop making a spectacle of yourself with those tears. ❞ ❝ It is sometimes necessary to do some bad in order to achieve a much greater good. ❞ ❝ Well, we wont let him divide us, will we? ❞ ❝ The city walls have fallen. ❞ ❝ Is it true there will be war? ❞ ❝ They have no clothes… ❞ ❝ I hope you didn’t mind me staring. ❞ ❝ There is more to life than money, you know. ❞ ❝ You don’t have a choice. Neither of us do. ❞ ❝ For 100 Florins my lips are sealed forever. ❞ ❝ Will you betray us? ❞ ❝ I don’t want you to leave, ever again. Do you understand? ❞ ❝ I am in love with you! ❞ ❝ Go, or I will have you thrown out. Guards! ❞ ❝ Gentlemen don’t hold pens, we wield swords! ❞

episode two: the dome and the domicile: ❝ There are men at the door! ❞ ❝ This is not a bank, if you want gold go there. ❞ ❝ I am not accustomed to being made to wait. ❞ ❝ Romantic, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ Darling, are you unwell? ❞ ❝ Will everyone please stop fussing over me? ❞ ❝ You are as pale as a ghost. ❞ ❝ Is he handsome? ❞ ❝ Your tongue is too sharp! ❞ ❝ I do not appreciate being mated like cattle. ❞ ❝ I did not choose this union either. ❞ ❝ You will be loyal to me and only to me, do you understand?❞ ❝ A viper cornered may strike anyone. ❞ ❝ I can’t get her out of my mind. ❞ ❝ I was not invited, but I came anyway. ❞ ❝ I’m a genius ahead of my time. ❞ ❝ I wish I shared your optimism. ❞ ❝ This folly will only hasten their demise. ❞ ❝ A foolish man lives for himself, a wise man lives with a purpose. ❞ ❝ I will take away the life that God gave you. ❞ ❝ She’s with child, I am to be a father. ❞ ❝ It’s the black death. ❞

episode three: pestilence: ❝ Since when did the rich become such cowards? ❞ ❝ What are you doing here? You need to leave the city. ❞ ❝ My father gave me this, it will protect you. ❞ ❝ We are all sinners. ❞ ❝ You are not the only one she has hurt. ❞ ❝ Do you love her? ❞ ❝ Legacies make great families, not men. ❞ ❝ How did you escape the city? ❞ ❝ Thank god you’re alive! ❞ ❝ What are you doing? Your place is here with your family! ❞ ❝ We cannot run from it, not from a thing like this. ❞ ❝ You must be exhausted, come and eat. ❞ ❝ I am pleased with you and I am proud of you. ❞ ❝ Don’t wait around here for me to die. ❞ ❝ If God should save anyone it should be the sick and poor. And me. ❞ ❝ Make yourself indispensable and no one will find cause to exclude you. ❞   ❝ There are more ways for a woman to be indispensable than in just bearing children. ❞ ❝ It is so good to see you. ❞ ❝ He is not you. ❞ ❝ I value you and you know that. ❞     ❝ Unhand me! You have no right! ❞   

episode four: judgement day:  ❝ I am innocent. ❞ ❝ I see the money has arrived. ❞ ❝ Punch him! Kick him in the balls! ❞ ❝ I will light a candle for your soul at mass. ❞ ❝ I’m sure you did not mean to start this family meeting without us. ❞ ❝ An innocent man fears nothing. ❞ ❝ You look so well, what a beautiful dress! ❞ ❝ I’m a wealthy man! ❞ ❝ Noble power is ordained by god himself, we exist to rule. ❞ ❝ Stand up and show you’re a man. ❞ ❝ Does our Lord truly forgive all sins? ❞ ❝ You used me! ❞ ❝ What about honour? My honour? ❞ ❝ Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. ❞ ❝ You were paid to poison my wine! ❞ ❝ We didn’t mean to deceive you. ❞ ❝ We invade at midnight! ❞ ❝ We have to get you out of here, the family cannot survive without you. ❞ ❝ I do not fear death. ❞ ❝ There is no “us” if you are gone. ❞ ❝ Everything can be sacrificed. ❞ ❝ You are not the man he is and you know that. ❞ ❝ You think noble blood entitles you to rule the world, not anymore. ❞ ❝ What have you done? ❞ ❝ How could you put your own needs before the needs of my family? ❞ ❝ If we leave it broken like this between us we will grow into the break. ❞

episode five: temptation: ❝ They have banished me. ❞ ❝ You should leave the city, it is not safe here. ❞     ❝ There’s a ball tomorrow night, you must come. ❞ ❝ No one will speak to me! Surely you understand my position.❞ ❝ We cannot buy our way to freedom. ❞ ❝ I hate to think of you alone here. ❞ ❝ He misses out on your beauty. ❞ ❝ While we dine in luxury the common man is suffering. ❞ ❝ I almost won you over though, didn’t I? ❞ ❝ I’m married. Get dressed and leave. ❞ ❝ What will they do if I return you to the palace?Will they beat you? ❞ ❝ It’s a trick. Magic. ❞ ❝ What would you do if you were in my position ❞ ❝ Perhaps I hate what has become of you but I could never hate you. ❞ ❝ I realized I never stopped loving you. ❞ ❝ I’ve never known a man to resist your charms. ❞ ❝ It would be a shame to have to ruin your beauty. ❞ ❝ I thought I’d die, I lost a shoe! ❞ ❝ I am your humble servant. ❞ ❝ I hope you have prayed for your sins, ❞ ❝ I was a gift! He is my master now. ❞ ❝ How did you know that I wouldn’t betray you? ❞ ❝ You can be anything you want, you can lose yourself to pleasure. ❞ ❝ Come with me, I know I can make you happy. ❞ ❝ There are greater causes than our happiness. ❞ 

episode six: ascendancy: ❝ There were hundreds of them all chanting our names! ❞ ❝ You lied to me. ❞ ❝ How is it that my whole family has returned yet I feel more alone than ever? ❞ ❝ You must find a wife of noble blood soon. ❞ ❝ Surprises seem to be your forte at the moment. ❞ ❝ Do you intend to hold your piece forever? ❞ ❝ You thought you were a martyr but you were nothing but a child with a paper sword. ❞ ❝ Had I the choice again perhaps I would let you die. ❞ ❝ The leash you think is in your hand is around your neck. ❞ ❝ Remember to whom you speak! ❞ ❝ Our home will still be here when I am gone. ❞ ❝ Have you come to make fun of me? ❞ ❝ You and me, we are the same. I just want you to know you are not alone. ❞ ❝ You have a friend here. ❞ ❝ Why are you shutting me out? ❞ ❝ Was it such an unforgivable treason to have saved your life?❞ ❝ You’re in no position to judge me. ❞ ❝ Yes, I flirted with him. He even asked me to go away but I didn’t. ❞     ❝ That was your duty as my wife! ❞ ❝ What of your duty as my husband? ❞ ❝ Who are we to take this man’s life? ❞   ❝ If you are wise, you will not return. ❞ ❝ This way! Follow me! ❞

episode seven: purgatory: ❝ So cruelly torn from this world by the swords of sinners. ❞ ❝ There are always threats. Enemies. I choose to eat with my back to the wall. ❞ ❝ Well, you do it… How hard can it be? ❞ ❝ You must not torture yourself.❞ ❝ What if the truth only brought you pain? ❞ ❝ What exactly is it that you accuse me of? ❞ ❝ All men are capable of murder! ❞ ❝ Perhaps I should run away, nobody would even notice if I was gone. ❞ ❝ So what’s keeping you awake? ❞ ❝ You shouldn’t talk that way about yourself, you’re so much more than that. ❞ ❝ It was just a dream. It’s alright, I’m here. ❞ ❝ I will stay with you in case your nightmares return. ❞ ❝ I’ll sleep better alone. ❞ ❝ A woman of your intelligence should not delude herself. ❞ ❝ There is no mercy in his heart, it is made of stone. ❞ ❝ The only comfort I have is that you now know what sort of monster you are married to. ❞ ❝ I implore you not to listen to their lies. ❞ ❝ He has locked me out of his heart. ❞ ❝ Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. ❞ ❝ We must ensure that we have his undivided loyalty. ❞ ❝ I cannot let you go! ❞ ❝ There is no sum of money in the world large enough to make me raise a hand against this family. ❞ 

episode eight: epiphany: ❝ You think she is with child? ❞ ❝ I don’t think that I can ever forgive you for that. ❞ ❝ For some women, falling pregnant, it’s all too easy. ❞ ❝ You know what must be done, you always do. ❞ ❝ Do you know who the father of your child is? ❞ ❝ If you ever speak to me like that again you will be on your way to the slave market in Genoa. ❞ ❝ You always get what you want in the end. ❞ ❝ I was going to leave you. ❞ ❝ I just found him lying dead in the cells. He’s been stabbed. ❞ ❝ Many will die, blood will run through the streets and your position will be secured. ❞ ❝ Everything I have ever done has been for Florence, for you, for the greater glory of god. ❞ ❝ I would be glad to offer you my services. ❞ ❝ I am more my father than he ever was, that is why God is punishing me. ❞ ❝ Perhaps this child is an opportunity for both of us.❞ ❝ I have sins of my own. But as long as we can breathe, there is a chance that we can atone for them. ❞ ❝ I will help you. ❞ ❝ This matter is better left alone. ❞ ❝ I will marry her! ❞ ❝ A stallion may mount a donkey and get a mule, I like mules! ❞ ❝ You have not become your father, you are a better man than he ever was. ❞ ❝ You’re with child? Are you sure? ❞ ❝ It will be a boy, we’re sure of it. ❞

[midnight-circus]

another fucking meme bitch

literally nobody can stop me 

this is the 3rd one of these ive answered for logan i really should give someone else a look-in

w e l p

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Morgan’s three years younger than him, so close enough to the same age group. They didn’t get on very well at all growing up – Logan was jealous and Morgan was spoilt, which resulted in friction a little beyond regular sibling rivalry – but their relationship has improved with age. They’re not close and there’s still some definite tension, but it’s generally healthy as long as they don’t start talking about their parents. Or anything too personal.

Morgan’s never done anything wrong, that’s the thing. That’s probably what irritates Logan the most. He has no genuine reason to resent his brother and he knows it’s unfair, but he struggles to find a way to redirect the feeling because he’s already embittered towards their parents so like … where the fuck else can it go? He still struggles with it, and tries extremely hard to temper his feelings towards his younger brother mainly out of guilt. It’s not Morgan’s fault. Nonetheless, it is undeniably disheartening to watch his parents dote upon someone who, at the end of the day, is really not all that different to him in the long run.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Distant. Logan is an eternal disappointment to his mother, who had big dreams for her eldest son – indeed, he was meant to be her only son, before a little mistake came along three years later. From the beginning Morgan was an easier baby than Logan, and Madeleine subsequently funnelled her energy into the happy, bouncy infant rather than the rather aloof, introspective toddler. Logan was quiet, anxious and didn’t smile easily, and the more Madeleine withdrew the more he got the message – in childhood he would rather manage his independence and rely on himself than come to her for support, and as such her attentions on Morgan only intensified until it became uncomfortably clear to everyone that she had a very definite favourite.

In a nutshell, as far as Madeleine is concerned Logan can’t do anything right. There is criticism for everything, and if she can’t think of a snippy comment now then she’ll think of if later and ring him up to tell him. She is emotionally abusive, though she’ll never understand that – after all, she does love him (and in her mind, he hasn’t made that easy), but in all honesty she doesn’t like him very much, and he is more than aware of it.

It’s damaged him pretty badly, and as he grows older he distances himself more and more, reducing his contact with her to phonecalls and the occasional special occasion visit. Christmases are miserable. Madeleine, however, is a cakewalk compared to Edward.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Non-existent. Edward is vile. A bitter, egotistical narcissist who is profoundly aware that his wife has more money than him and cannot let it go. Logan began butting heads with him at a young age and suffered for it (there is no contention over corporal punishment in the English aristocracy), and he honestly feels nothing but distaste and resentment for the man, verging into hatred. The feeling is mutual – Madeleine might be disappointed in her son’s life and sexuality, but Edward is actively disgusted in him, and he has no problem telling him that. Their relationship ultimately exploded in Logan’s late teens, on the night he was outed – after many years of belittlement and abuse, physical and otherwise, he lost his temper entirely and punched his father in the jaw. Edward put him through a glass coffee table for his pains, leaving him with his facial scars, and he left the house that night and never really went back. Probably should’ve gone to A&E, tbh.

Anyway, they don’t speak. Or rather, Logan doesn’t speak to him. On the few occasions they’re forced to be in the same room (Christmases are m i s e r a b l e ), Edward will attempt to goad his eldest into retaliation, but fortunately in those situations Elrick is generally there too and he is MORE than happy to engage on Logan’s behalf.

The very last time they interact is at Madeleine’s funeral, and it ends in an extremely public, extremely loud argument in front of the entire congregation that results in Logan storming out halfway through (‘causing a scene’, is how Edward later puts it to his fellows at the country club). They never speak again, and he does not attend his father’s funeral five years later.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Not a great deal. His phone, his wallet, his keys – usual shit. He doesn’t cart stuff around for the sake of it and will remove anything superfluous before he goes out, so there’s nothing crazy in there.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

I’m no dream-diviner, but whatever relates to feeling like a complete and total fuckup. That’s a recurring theme.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

He’s very claustrophobic and that tends to be a feature of his nightmares. In a modern setting, though, he’s not plagued by the constant nightmares he experiences in his original incarnation – they’re much more sinister in that verse, and they’re brutal. It’s a major factor in why his insomnia is so intense.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Depends on the AU. In a modern setting, which I’m pretty much answering for here, nope – shooting is a popular hobby for his mother and father, but he never participated. In most fantasy AUs, he knows how to use one, but he’s a pretty abysmal shot – he’s really only good with a gun in a few very select circumstances when it’s absolutely necessary. Original Logan is the absolute worst with a gun, hence why he doesn’t fucking carry one because it would definitely make more sense than carting a sword around if people keep on trying to assassinate you all the time.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

It’s fluctuated. He grew up rich. Like … aristocratically rich. His family are Old Money. He wasn’t spoilt as a kid (that little honour went to Morgan), but he went to an expensive private school and certainly didn’t know discomfort.

When he left the home, that all stopped. He had no access to funds and his parents certainly weren’t prepared to give him any, so he made his own way. Ultimately, through a great deal of hard grafting and years of work, he clawed his way into Oxford, manhandled himself through law school and now earns a very comfortable living. He rejected any and all of Morgan’s attempts to help him (Morgan, who was given a ~small loan~ by his mother to start a business and has been a millionaire for pretty much all his adult life) and subsequently it took a long-ass time, but he’s proud of it.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Generally more. He’s certainly not the type to fuckin chill around the house half-naked. Like what’s the point. Get your fuckin ass off that expensive sofa and go and put some trousers on for fucks sake.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

In a modern situation, the night he was outed. That PALES in comparison to his original incarnation’s Most Terrifying Moments 3 Day Compilation Storytime W/ Hi-Res Visuals & Audio, but still.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Nope. He’s fine with blood – his, other people’s, whatever. It’s not an issue.

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Definitely names. He tends to forget faces because he doesn’t really care much about them lmao but names stick in his mind as ‘data’, almost.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Not preoccupied, but he does value money and possessions – he sees it as a status-marker. Old habits and all that.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Success for sure.

What was your character’s favourite toy as a child?

Honestly, he didn’t really play much. He tended to occupy himself with puzzles rather than toys, even when young – colours and shapes as an infant, then on to shit like jigsaws and building blocks as he got a little older, things he could occupy himself very independently with. He used to draw a lot as a young kid, but incidentally is absolutely shit at it as an adult so who knows what happened there. He did have a stuffed toy lion that he carted around as a toddler, but Edward put a stop to his kids having comfort items by the time they were 4 so he didn’t have it for very long.

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition. It’s the Slytherin in him.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

He’s too independent, which translates to coming across as cold. He can’t bear relying on other people because he knows damn well he can manage on his own, and it takes him a very long time to delegate trust in a relationship. This has caused friction with people in the past, often alongside accusations of being too cold, too indifferent, too distant. In the three years that he and Elrick spent broken up, his self-reliance was pretty much the final straw for the rebound-relationship he was in for those years – in amongst a nest of other issues, the man in question (sorry Jaeger) simply got fed up of trying to break down a wall that clearly was never going to come down on its own.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Oh, only ever self-criticism. Everyone is doing better than he is in one way or another, and he will find that one way.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Externally he’ll assign blame to others, but he internalises every second of it as his own fault. It’s the inferiority complex. He knows he deserves it, but he doesn’t want everyone else to know that.

What does your character like in other people?

Integrity, which is pretty rich coming from him as he is no stranger to the odd lie here and there. He also appreciates a practical, realistic outlook on life – relentless optimism irritates him to no end. Sometimes things are really shitty, there’s no use painting it fuckin gold and calling it wonderful. He likes someone he can occasionally bitch and moan with (or more than occasionally), who will either contribute their own grievances or simply let him get on with it without trying to force him to feel better.

What does your character dislike in other people?

Literally we’ll be here forever. He has no patience for what he considers to be ‘stupidity’. A lack of punctuality. Bad spelling. Bad grammar. A lack of self-care. An obnoxious laugh. Anything that reminds him too much of his mother. More than two middle names. Weak handshakes. I could keep going. Best not to.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Months, if not years. Really only Elrick and Kat enjoy his full and total confidence. He wants to trust Morgan, but to be entirely honest he can’t shed the fear that Morgan’s going to go parroting it all back to Madeleine the first chance he gets, which is probably a very unfair assumption to make. He knows this. It doesn’t change it, though.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

He’ll suspect anyone of anything, given the right motivation. He doesn’t trust easily at all. More than once in the early years of the relationship he suspected Elrick of sleeping with his ex, for no other reason than the fact that he had an ex – he kept that particular concern entirely to himself, but it took a long time to shed.

How does your character behave around children?

Responsible. By the time he knew of Bastian’s existence the boy was already about seven, but he’s been babysitting Rowan since birth so he’s pretty comfortable by now.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

It’s an absolute last resort.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Externally defensive, but internally he absorbs it.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

No point repeating something if it’s clearly not working. A second try might not be a bad idea, just in case a mistake was made in the first opportunity, but any more than two repeats is just setting yourself up for failure.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Oh bitch if he doesn’t like you, you will Know About It. He really doesn’t see the point in pretending to like somebody he doesn’t – it’s a waste of time and energy, and why bother giving that person false hope? Better to nip it in the bud.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honour, or protecting their status?

His honour’s all shot to the four fuckin winds anyway, but he will protect his status fiercely.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

His mother’s ancient African Grey parrot used to bite him on the regular, and as such he hates parrots.

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

It could be better. It could be worse, but it could be much better. He’s still kind of a classist snob at times.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Nope. He’s never really had a paternal figure at all. Or at least not a positive one.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Not really – his only two dependents would be Bastian and Rowan, both of whom are blood relations.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

It’s easy to say it when he doesn’t mean it (which he has done, in the past). It’s much harder to say when he does.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

He has no idea whatsoever. He was raised Catholic, but has considered himself an atheist since his mid-teens – however, it’s extremely hard to shed the guilt and fear of damnation when it’s all you’ve heard for a huge chunk of your childhood. He likes to think that life just stops and then that’s it, you’re done, but he can’t quite get rid of the little chirp of paranoia that says he’s going to Hell.

[professor-abeloved]

For the ship breakdown.. It's so cliché and others will most likely ask the same, but JakexMC? Any gender!

this is a lil late but thanks anon!! using my masc presenting mc, eli de loyola!! tbh i was expecting this since it’s the most popular endsum ship lmao. 

(sidenote: i should probably say that i don’t rly do f!mc/jake because it’s…the most popular ship in the fandom haha. it’s nothing personal, and i bet your f!mc & jake are adorable together, but you don’t need me when there are so many people who would kill for the chance to make content for it yanno? idk if this is making sense lol)

((sidenote 2: i’m not taking anymore ships for this ask meme either adkfglds tho the link is there in case anyone wants to reblog it!))

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL BREAK THEM DOWN

How did they they meet?

the plane ride to la huerta where eli called jake “hotness” because he panicked and can’t flirt for shit. jake was so amused, especially since eli stuck to his guns and continues to call him “hotness” despite the situation afhbsjdhfnd

Who developed romantic feelings first?

jake did!! despite the fact that he tried so hard not to, he fell for eli’s enthusiasm, his heroic nature, the way he can keep up with and understand jake… and the adorable way he cannot flirt for shit.

eli doesn’t know how to deal with Feelings so he was in denial for the longest time lmao

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

diego currently holds that title

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

tbh in canon, they kissed in each other’s arms as they fellow below the waves… but i hc that their first kiss happened waaay before that when eli couldn’t deal with his feelings and jake was being adorable annoying so he ended up grabbing the front of jake’s jacket and kissing him

they made out for a bit before eli came to his senses and ran away (and continued to run and avoid jake, which really hurt him and fuled his ‘mc should stay away because i don’t want to get attached and/or hurt them’ shtick #ILoveAngst)

Who confessed their feelings first?

jake when they slept together for the first time

What was their first official date?

eli says its smth mundane like a date in the coffeeshop, but jake considers their first date the first time he took eli up in a plane (this is in a happy angst free au shush)

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

idk i feel like jake wouldnt be fond of them and eli dont really curr

What do they do in their down time?

idk i feel like theyd go flying a lot if jake gets his own plane (courtesy of aleister who has inherited rourke industries idk man just let them be happy)

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

i hc jakes parents as dead & at first jake didnt make a good first impression on eli’s aunt tho ‘cause she didn’t appreciate his snark lol

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

their first fight was when eli went with #TeamSean to get shit done instead of partying with sila jake because 1) he feels like its the right thing to do and 2) he’s avoiding jake (this is after their first kiss btw.) 

and tbh at first jake’s angry bc he thinks sean is like idk Forcing eli to go but then eli gets mad (he’s a sean stan no matter who he’s dating js). the stress of the whole island situation as well as his feelings for jake cause him to say shit he regrets. jake’s understandably hurt by it, and he makes it into a bigger fight (because he’s looking for excuses to detach himself from eli) lol

Which one is more easily made jealous?

jake lmao. although you’d expect eli to be more jealous (since he’s already tsundere af) eli is merely amused when someone flirts with jake (tbh he’d be likely to give em a high five HAHA @ yvonne)

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

whiskey. idk. i feel like jake’s a meat person tho

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

eli is more cuddly asgfdsas he used to be big spoon, but then jake wanted to try so now they jetpack

Are they hand holders?

yeah first chapter pa lang, holding hands na awow

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

they stop being babies about their feelings and sleep together the night before the watchers come (that is to say, they come before the watchers do bfhdkjsk why am i allowed to be online)

Who tops?

they switch it up a lot but also consider power bottom jake pls and thank

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

hmm maybe about jake not attempting to clear his name and not returning to the US idk

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

they feel like a Take-Out kind of couple lmao. but they shop together bc jake just gets the bare essentials and eli cant cook a romantic dinner with just one (1) can of tuna wtf jake

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

i feel like theyre both messy, but jake has a System to get his shit while eli is just… kalat

Who proposes?

diego proposes for both of them HAHA legit he deadass plans a romantic dinner for them and hands jake a ringbox and has jake propose, which he happily does so

but seriously if diego hadn’t intervened it probs wouldve taken 20 years before either of them even mentioned proposing dnfdksasdsja

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

joined and then there’s a bit about jake and stripping and pilot uniform soooooo

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

es gang as groomsen and bridesmaids, diego is eli’s best man and idk sean is jake’s (since i hc them to get close after the events of ES)

Big Ceremony or Small?

small

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  

costa rica HAHAAHA

Do they have children? How many?

jake doesn’t seem like the type to want kids, but eli really loves taking care of people, so they compromise and get a dog HAHA. the dog doesn’t like jake at first (since jake is,, like a cat lmao)

but here comes one incident at their home (cant decide where they live yet lol) where eli isn’t home & the dog sniffs out a fire which gives him and jake time to escape… but then the dog gets stuck somewhere and jake curses but goes back to save it 

and the dog finally warms up to him afterwards!! jake pretends to act like he isnt fond of the dog but his mouth kind of twitches into a smile after he loudly complains about the dog drool on his face (after the dog licks him in greeting aww)