#your dear author rambles
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lizardaggro · 1 year ago
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lizardaggro's masterlist
twisted wonderland
on the flip side (bully!au x reader) pt 1
on the flip side pt 2
on the flip side pt 3
on the flip side pt 4
the pulse of death (vampire!au x reader) pt 1
bnha/mha
student 21's villain academia (villain!au x reader) pt 1
here's my ao3
requests are (always) open!!!
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deimosatellite · 6 months ago
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like idk it just seems actually nefarious to take one of the very few widely known instances of queerness in older history being a symbol to show queer people that we've always existed and aren't alone for CENTURIES and taking away the queerness from it. like. i know some people say that ''the queerness isnt important in the book" which i mean in my opinion i could go off for 10k words in an essay as to how basil's love for dorian is integral to the story BUT EVEN APART from that its really just. having a real explicitly queer character in such an old and widely regarded classic novel is HUGE for queer history and this is just. literally like. its 2024. why are you doing queer erasure to DORIAN GRAY
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deadpoetsandlivinglegends · 21 days ago
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Feel like Neil couldn’t have been any other kind of actor than one in theatre. If he was a movie actor or on social media or whatnot, it would not be the same. Theatre by nature is fleeting. Recorded mediums can be rewatched over and over, creating a time loop of sorts. We the audience can keep going back to a time when Neil is still alive. Theatre however is live and once the play is over, there is no going back except in our memories. It is much like life. We are forced to live in the moment in a theater lest we miss it altogether. It’s not that the poets choose to live in a world where Neil is dead, it’s that they must because the only other option is to die themselves. I feel like Keatings teachings could only be reflected in stage theatre because that’s the only way there can be no time loop of grief. I think dead poets society itself isn’t about overcoming the authority in your life to do what you want but rather about grief, about allowing oneself to feel grief and all one’s emotions without letting it consume you and to keep living after, to live every day in the moment lest you fall into grief and regret that will destroy you or force you into a miserable life
#just silly ramblings don’t mind me just ignore me 🫣#keating was teaching the boys catharsis as a means of survival and how to process their emotions so they don’t overcome them in a world#that convinces them to pretend they don’t feel at all; that’s why he focuses on the romantics rather than the realists because the romantic#is there to help you process your emotions of sorrow and joy; and that’s why he told Charlie he was misunderstanding the teachings when he#was acting out but not Neil when Neil was trying to get out of the grief over the person he wishes he could be; keating taught him that his#father was standing over an empty grave grieving the son he wanted and that Neil doesn’t have to lie in that grave just to satisfy his#fathers grief but can go to his father as he is and ask him to accept this version of himself and the son he is and his father rejected and#that is why Neil thought the only way to truly overcome his father was by allowing his father to grieve him over grieving the son he wanted#and Mr. Keating was crying over Neil but we don’t see him rage out like the school; Mr. Keating grieved Neil and moved forward with life#whereas all the other administration and Neil’s father will not be able to because they refuse to recognize any emotion but rage so they#feel they must go on a wrathful journey to try to process their grief; idk I think the whole story was about teaching the boys not to be#afraid of their emotions and that they must feel their emotions to process them and get through and I think this message just happens to be#counter to the norm we were told our whole lives but also necessary to be full people and I think that is why this movie sticks with so#many and why so many hold it so dear to them; it’s a story about grief and emotions and moving forward with life after the fact#it’s about feeling in a world that tries to convince you that there are ‘bad’ emotions and that you must not feel certain things and that’s#where overcoming authority comes in and the anti authority message of the franchise stems from#neil perry#dead poets society#dps#dead poets fandom#dps fandom#mr keating#john keating#dps symposium
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just-another-author · 3 months ago
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How to Submit asks?
General Writing Advice? Just submit an ask as normal, your question attached, specific wording and examples/context are appreciated but not required
Want to submit your work for review/feedback I ask you to follow this format for both our sake.
Copy paste a scene/send a link (shorter scenes are prefered for maximum detail, the longer the fic the more time responses will take and more general the feedback will be) Please double check commenting/editing permissions are enabled if a link-
Ask 2-5 (or more honestly) questions of why you're sending it. What are you trying to accomplish in this scene? Are you wanting to emphasize characterization? Does the pacing feel off but you cant tell why? etc etc
Permissions!! I need to know how harsh/in depth you want me to be, Im shit at grammer so 90% of my suggestions are stylistic based. If you want the full "This is how I would write this instead" vs "Oh just rephrase this one part" I need to know if you just want a general help polishing a few bits/outside eye verses a general critic.
Going off permissions- Publications. Since this is an OPEN blog, If you arent asking a very specific question, I need you to state in your ask if you would prefer I keep your work private or if you're okay with posting the ask with my feedback attached.
Anons?? Anons are always welcomed and in fact encouraged if you wish- all I ask is you please give yourself a moniker (via emojis or a nickname) so I can keep track of who you are and the work you send and thus your progress!
Notes
This is of course just a little passion project after numerous asks on my main blog, so thought I might as well set this up.
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the1trueanon · 10 months ago
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man, very few things make you feel more useless and unaccomplished than trying to apply for scholarships TnT
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ravencromwell · 11 months ago
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hi! not sure if appropriate to ask, but is your username derived from thomas cromwell at all? cheers, from one considering cracking into the diarmaid maccullough biography if i can lift the damn thing
A. I love! this question. B. GOD I _wish. My username came, very pedestrianly, from a fanfic oc created in the early 2000's. I remember nothing! of this oc except it was shared between @blindbibliophile and I. I dunno if you were around in fandom back then, but the usernames on fanfiction.net were shudders just utter mishmash gobbledygook. We both wanted something that sounded kinda comparable to a human while having a properly _exotic flare. GOD we were both internet babies with no business out of swaddling clothes much less let off the leading strings :). So we coin-flipped for who would get to use the name, as I recall--she'll correct me if I'm wrong. I barely produced anything with it, but was fortunate enough to pick up fannish connections via leaving lavishly verbose fic comments for other people that evolved into convos/friendships (going around sprinkling comments like a fairy overburdened with rainbows and pixie dust will forever be my fav way of interacting in any and every fandom and I'm fortunate very few people have asked me to stop :). When I transitioned over here, I kept it for continuity with those folks and because I'm terribly, terribly fond of all the shared history with one of my fav humans.
Y'know, for all the years I've been a Thomas Cromwell geek--I don't remember when I read and adored Wolf Hall, but it was before 2015, and I have yet to read Mirror of Light because. I. just can't watch him die via headsman, if that tells you how insanely attached I am to the fictionalized bastard of her work--I'd never put the connection together, and am almost sheepish in answering this because for just a second there, I seemed so much cleverer than I was ;)! But! you have no idea how happy you've made me <33333333333333333 because oh! oh my god I didn't know that biography existed I now have flashing hearts in my eyes and need it immediately (he was kinda a religious zealot holy shit!!!!!!! with administrative competence I already found the Mantel version hot apparently I'm gonna find the real one that way, too. I have a weakness for revolutionaries--in whatever form-- with bastard morals, particularly when they lived long enough ago their bastard morals aren't affecting my friends and family and I can crush in peace :)
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caruliaa · 26 days ago
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whenever i see someone say theyre 14 and think omg youre so young or see people be like "they seem really young only 14" or see a picture of a 14 yr old with their little baby child face some little voice in my head goes "thats how old you where" and i get sad
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fushitoru · 3 months ago
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chapter 6: the house party a bridgerton au
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pairing ⸺ duke!satoru gojo x fem!reader
summary ⸺ dearest gentle reader, a new season is upon us as the ton gets ready for a season filled with drama, heartbreak, and passion. after being crowned diamond of the season, duke gojo⸺only looking to marry just to secure his inheritance⸺has his sights set on you, the easiest (and most obvious) option. later, when you catch his saying unsavory things about you on a terrace when he least suspected it, you swear to never marry gojo. as london's fashionable set goes through yet another wedding season, will there be hope for scandalous gossip, hate, and thinly veiled insults, or will we witness blooming love and passion?
warnings ⸺ nsfw, enemies to lovers, bridgerton au, angst, fluff, SUGGESTIVE, eventual smut, jealousy, misogyny, description of injury, concussion, blood, regency era au, gojo being infuriating, reader also being infuriating, both of them are clueless honestly
chapter summary ⸺ you are bedridden, recovering from your wound, when gojo delivers season-changing news. the house party that follows buzzes with tension, and an unexpected arrival that sends ripples through the ton (7.4k)
a/n thank you as always to the pooks @/sinn-clair for beta reading this <333 i'll see you after the chapter is over!
prev. the fall | next. the rebound
general masterlist | series masterlist
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Gentle Reader,
One query occupies this Author's mind, be it ladies or mamas alike—what exactly are Miss Itadori and Lord Gojo up to in the countryside? Perhaps a trifling dalliance of hearts, or will the ton bear witness to a scandal uncovered when they arrive for the house party? After having arrived a week early—and positioned as the diamond of the season—one must guess that if all goes well and Miss Itadori plays her cards right, she will be showing off her new surely lavish diamond engagement ring. Yet, she must take great care, for to err in this delicate matter would be to jeopardize a most significant match with Lord Gojo. Only time shall tell the outcome of this intrigue.
⸻ LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS
Upon waking, the physician informed you that you had been unconscious for some days. Though no immediate danger threatened you, it had been long enough to send both families into a state of great disquiet. It seemed that even before you’d regained full awareness, a servant—who had gasped upon hearing your feeble request for water—had swiftly spread the news, for not a moment later Yuji burst into the room.
“SISTER!” he exclaims, hurtling his way towards you with heavy steps. You flinch in your position on the bed at the sound of his loud voice. “You are awake! Mama seemed like she would faint, Choso had almost popped a bloody vein, he looked like he was about to challenge Lord Gojo to a duel—”
“Yuji! My dear,” you had to shout, interrupting the boy’s ramblings, giving him an uneasy smile. “Lower your volume, please. I might faint back into unconsciousness due to the strain, and this time you will be the one dueling Choso.”
The pout Yuji adopts is akin to a chastened hound as he grabs a chair to sit next to you. You take this moment to surveil your surroundings, now with a clear headedness granted to you that hadn’t been granted before. There were fresh flowers adorning a vase on the table on your bedside, and you seemed to be wearing a shift, cleaned and changed out of your dirty and mud-ridden dress. There was a gauze surrounding your head, and you could feel some similar cloth on your ankle.
You turned to your brother. “Now then, what were you saying?”
He perks up. “Well, you’ve been in quite a state, dear sister! It’s not every day you’re injured before breaking fast. Choso practically spat his tea when he heard! And, of course, Duchess Gojo has been endlessly apologetic. Between Mama, Choso, and me, we’ve all been in quite a state. I daresay you’re hardly known for clumsiness—although you do have your moments on horseback.” At the memories seemingly pooling themselves in his mind, Yuji sniggers while you shoot him a look to not be testy. “And Gojo has been nothing short of attentive. No doubt the man’s come in to change your flowers more than the doctor’s visited you. He’s so caring, he even cares for a worm like you!” 
You ignore Yuji’s jab, instead forcing yourself not to be gripped by the fact that Gojo had been so…attentive to you. Of course, it was as an indirect result of his sheer vexing nature that you were bedridden in such a manner, so it should not set your heart aflutter like a foolish girl. But your traitorous heart seems to hate listening to reason. 
You begin to nod slowly. “And how many days have I been out? When is the house party?” Taking a gander at the windows in the room you were situated in, you could see the moon and star’s light filtering the curtains. You weren’t sure if it was the evening or night or completely early in the morning.
He looks up to the ceiling, as if calculating something, brows furrowed. “Today.”
Groaning, you put your head in your hands, playing with your hair as it falls through the gaps of your fingers. “Mother is going to kill me.”
“Oh, indeed,” Yuji replied with a hum, stretching his arms in a cat-like yawn. “Now, I must get back to my rest. The servants were gossiping near my door, so I thought I’d see for myself that you weren’t dead.” He kissed you on the cheek before heading to the door. “Sleep, sister, for I expect Mama will tire you endlessly come morning.”
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Later, a gentle nudge at your arm and a few soft “Miss! Wake up!”’s roused you from sleep. You opened your eyes to find a maid hunched over you, relief clear in her expression as you met her gaze with a drowsy squint. “Miss, Lord Gojo requests your presence. May I allow him in?”
With a nod, you fought off your annoyance at having been disturbed. The maid, visibly flustered, hurried to admit Gojo, who soon approached with quiet footsteps. As you propped yourself up, arms crossed, you gave him a mildly reproachful look. “Gojo, you’ve roused me from my slumber. I trust this is a matter of utmost importance—-” you began, then trailed off as you took in his expression.
He was taut, as though his very sinews were wound tight. Standing rigidly, his jaw clenched, his gaze flitted everywhere but to you. Troubled, you tried, “Gojo?”
At the sound of his name, he looked sharply at you and seemed to gather himself. “Ah… forgive me.” He took a seat and smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes, artificial. “How is your recovery?” You eye him suspiciously. His leg is moving up and down anxiously, the action minute in a way that makes you think he’s not aware of doing it. The tight and strained smile on his face seems uncanny, his concern seeming out of place. “Well, as much as it can be for me bleeding out pints and pints of blood from my head,” at that, you note that he subtly flinches, “but all is well!” You spread out your arms and give him a dazzling smile, and his eyes follow. “I’m sure my mama and my maid are itching to rush in here to prepare me for the house party.” Giving him a playful glare, you continue, “And just for the pain you caused me, you ought to have two dances and a few pastries prepared tonight.”
At that, he looks at you for a quick glance before quickly turning away, seemingly collecting himself. In what you could observe in his previous expression, you were surprised to see yearning present in his blue eyes, filled with feelings that perplexed you. Gojo was acting very odd.
Then, he drew in a measured breath, his jaw clenched as if bracing himself for what he was about to say. He finally looked at you, a shadowed intensity in his gaze that made your heart beat faster—not in the way it used to when his eyes sparked with wit, but with a sense of foreboding.
"Miss Itadori," he began, his voice lower, lacking the familiar, teasing cadence. "I must apologize for the trouble I have brought upon you. I was… heedless, perhaps even reckless, and it seems I have caused you nothing but suffering."
You frowned, confusion beginning to bubble beneath the surface as he paused, clearly struggling to continue. He seemed almost pitiable, looking down at his hands, which were tightly woven together, his knuckles pale. But pity was not a feeling you had patience for. Not now. Not with Gojo of all people.
"Trouble?" you repeated, folding your arms. "I do believe that's an understatement, my lord. A mere misstep, surely?"
His eyes flicked back to yours, the corner of his mouth tugging in a grim semblance of a smile. "Understatement or not, it remains the truth," he replied, his voice nearly a murmur. "I cannot in good conscience continue this… attachment we have formed. The position of courtship our mamas have placed us in. For I fear it is you who stands to lose most dearly if I remain by your side."
You stiffened, his words crashing over you like a cold wave. "Attachment?" you said, bitterness coloring the word. "Do not dress it up with such kind words, Lord Gojo. An attachment is something formed with care, with respect—qualities you seem to find inconvenient."
He winced but did not break eye contact. "I will not argue with you," he said softly, voice steady in its regret. "Perhaps I am no master of attachments, nor have I ever claimed to be. But know that I had never wished to see you harmed—"
"Harmed?" you interrupted, your voice growing louder as anger swelled within you. "Is this some twisted apology, then? A show of remorse for the inconvenience of your whims?"
Gojo opened his mouth to respond, but you did not allow him the chance.
"How very noble of you, Lord Gojo," you continued, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "After all this time, to simply say, 'Forgive me; I shall now remove myself from your life,' as if that makes up for the chaos you’ve brought upon me? As if I am but a pawn to be moved at your discretion?"
His face softened slightly, as if he were seeing something in you he hadn't fully expected—a quiet resolve beneath your anger, a dignity that refused to be bruised. "No, Miss Itadori," he said quietly. "I do not wish to see you as a pawn. After all, from what I understand is that you do not know what you desire—and I would only be exploiting that. I only… I only wish to relieve you of the burdens I seem to bring."
You laughed, the sound bitter and laced with fury. "Know what I want? As if you do, dropping pretenses with commoners and putting on your mask for the ton. And relieve me? I don’t think you understand what it is you’ve done, Gojo."
This conversation was dangerous. The emotions you hid under the air of nonchalance were steadily bubbling up, and it seemed that now, your sentiments were threatening to boil over at the sheer audacity of Gojo breaking off this arrangement, of what the ton would think today if he were to be avoiding you like the plague.
He flinched at the sound of his name on your lips, spoken with such venom. A muscle in his jaw ticked, but he made no move to respond, simply watched as you gathered your thoughts, your gaze piercing.
"All this time," you said, each word sharper than the last, "I was led to believe there was something more to your attentions. And now, you simply wash your hands of it? You think yourself a gentleman for doing so?"
"Miss Itadori," he said, his voice strained. "I am—"
"You are a coward," you spat, and his eyes widened, the faintest hint of pain flashing in their depths. "Yes, that’s right. A coward, for trying to protect yourself under the guise of protecting me. All this talk of 'relieving me'—do not act as if your decision was made out of kindness." (a/n: OH NO SHE DIDNTTTTT)
"Do you not understand?" he interjected, a sudden fierceness in his voice, his composure beginning to slip. "This is not some petty whim, nor a game. My intentions… they were never meant to bring you harm, but they did. And I cannot bear to see it continue."
"Bear to see it continue?" you repeated incredulously. "Do you think I am some doll, some trifle to discard at your convenience?"
"That was never my intent!" he exclaimed, voice rising in frustration. "If you would but see reason—"
"Reason? From you?" you laughed bitterly, barely able to contain the fury welling up inside you. "Your idea of reason is nothing more than self-preservation, Lord Gojo. How convenient it must be to absolve yourself of guilt by deciding I am better off without you."
He fell silent, the anger in his face ebbing, replaced by a kind of desperation. "You do not understand," he said, quieter, almost pleading. "If I were to stay… if I were to court you in earnest, it would not be the life you think it to be."
"Then let that be my choice to make," you shot back, crossing your arms. "But no—this is not about my well-being, not truly. It is about you, Gojo. It has always been about you."
A tense silence stretched between you, filled only by the soft, uneven breaths that escaped both of you. For a moment, neither dared to speak, both caught in the tangled emotions that hung thick in the air.
Finally, Gojo looked down, his eyes shuttered, his voice weary. "Then hate me, if you must. But I am done with this charade."
"Hate you?" you repeated, the word tasting strange on your tongue. "No, Lord Gojo. Hatred would imply I care enough to feel anything toward you."
Your entire body seethed with fury, every muscle trembling with the strain of keeping yourself upright, sitting on your bed. You couldn't storm out—not with your wounded leg refusing to bear even a fraction of the anger swelling within you. Instead, you pushed yourself up on shaking arms, glaring at him with such venom that he instinctively stepped back.
"Get out," you spat, the words laced with ice, your voice rising as if to fill the entire room. "Out! Now, Gojo—leave me this instant!"
He froze, his shoulders tense as he looked at you with something unreadable, but he made no move toward the door.
"I said leave!" you shrieked—your voice shrill—the strain of it making you nearly lose balance, but you didn't care. Hot tears stung your eyes, and you bit them back, forcing yourself to breathe through the betrayal clawing at your chest. "Take your false apologies, your noble pretensions, and get out of my sight. Go, and never, ever darken my door again."
His mouth opened, as if he might say something—perhaps even something that might soothe the jagged edges of your heart. But your furious gaze dared him to try.
With a pained expression, he finally gave a nod, stepping back toward the door. He lingered for a moment, one last helpless look crossing his face before he turned away, leaving without another word.
The door clicked shut, and you were left alone, shaking with fury, your breath ragged. Your eyes were still on that door, your heart racing, as though expecting him to come back, to take it all back, to be the man you'd witnessed yesterday. But deep down, you knew he would not return.
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The first glimmers of morning filtered through the heavy drapes as you stirred awake, still dazed from the events that had left you bedridden. The memories of Gojo’s departure settled heavily on your chest, like a stone dropped in a lake, rippling outward and disturbing any possibility of calm. Your mind drifted over the previous night’s argument, replaying words, and then, with a cringe, the heated moments where you felt every last ounce of self-restraint slip from your grasp.
A small part of you reasoned that you may have been rash—that your anger and hurt had overtaken good sense. After all, it was you who deemed your and Gojo’s match impossible. So why were you so hurt?
Before you could linger on these thoughts, there was a soft knock at your door. 
"Come in," you murmured, propping yourself up gingerly.
What followed soft footsteps was Choso, his gaze warm and steady as he entered, carrying the ease of familiarity that only he could. As he approached, he pulled a chair beside your bed and gave a faint smile.
Choso stepped in quietly, his face softened by a rare smile as he approached. “Awake at last,” he said gently, taking a seat beside you with the care one might afford a delicate flower. "I was beginning to think you'd sleep through the entire house party."
He reached out, his hand resting on the crown of your head, fingers slipping through your hair in a soothing rhythm. The fondness in his touch eased the last of the stiffness in your frame, a balm against the soreness both physical and emotional.
“You worry too much,” you muttered, allowing yourself to lean into the comfort he offered, your voice softening as his hand continued to gently scratch at your scalp.
“You look better today,” he said softly, continuing his familiar, soothing rhythm with his fingers. “Though, I’ll admit, you gave us all quite a scare.”
You managed a small smile, feeling the tension in your shoulders ease slightly under his touch. “I suppose I was overdue for a bit of excitement,” you murmured, though the attempt at levity felt thin, even to your own ears.
Choso’s hand stilled momentarily, and his gaze grew searching as he looked at you. “What truly happened yesterday?” he asked, his voice low with concern. “There’s more here than an unfortunate fall, isn’t there?”
You stiffened slightly, glancing away from him. “It was nothing,” you replied, willing your tone to sound convincing. “Just… an ill-timed accident. Nothing to concern yourself with.”
But Choso was not so easily deterred. He watched you closely, his brow furrowing with worry. “You’ve always been a poor liar, sister,” he murmured. “If something happened, you know you can tell me. I only want to understand.”
The quiet earnestness in his tone gnawed at you, and for a moment, you considered confiding in him. But the idea of revisiting last night’s turmoil felt too raw, too immediate. “I’m fine, truly,” you insisted, meeting his gaze with as much steadiness as you could muster. “It was… nothing that can’t be mended with rest.”
Choso’s gaze lingered on you, his fingers resuming their gentle tracing along your scalp as if that alone could soothe whatever burden you were carrying. “Well,” he finally said, his tone filled with fond exasperation, “I won’t press you. But I trust you’ll speak of it when you feel you are ready.”
You gave a slight nod, grateful for his restraint. The quiet between you was comforting, grounding, as he continued his rhythmic motions, easing your thoughts in a way that words could not.
After a long moment, he broke the silence again, his tone lighter this time. “On a more cheerful note,” he began, a faint smile playing on his lips, “you’ll have another visitor tomorrow.”
“Oh?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, though a part of you already guessed who he meant.
“Yes,” he confirmed, a knowing glint in his eye. “Sukuna received word of your injury and set off at once. He’ll be here by morning.”
You let out a small breath, a mixture of relief and trepidation filling you. “Tomorrow, then,” you repeated, feeling a hint of warmth at the thought. “It seems my brothers cannot resist making a fuss.”
Choso chuckled, squeezing your hand gently. “It’s what we’re here for. And perhaps Sukuna’s presence will help you feel a bit more at ease during the house party. He’ll see to it that no one bothers you unduly.”
You couldn’t help but smile at that, the thought of Sukuna’s reassuring, if overbearing, presence lifting your spirits slightly. “Well, at least there’s that to look forward to,” you murmured, and, with a soft sigh, leaned back against your pillows, letting Choso’s calming presence ease the lingering shadows of last night’s ordeal, even if temporary.
For you had a beast of a social gathering to deal with today, the same one where the ton would descend upon the outcome of your match, ready to laugh at you: the house party.
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“He what?” 
You flinched, scowling as you clutched your ears. Nobara’s shrill voice was not helping your recovery, nor were her rough combs through your hair; but alas, beauty has a price, and it’s one you’re reluctantly willing to pay. You oh-so terribly wanted to politely decline the formal invitation, but it seemed that the moment you woke, your mother was dead set on getting you ready for what she thought was your engagement party. Little did she know that her not so future in law had gotten rid of you as if you were a stray animal latched onto him, but who were you to burst her bubble?
Perhaps you ought to dread the inevitable fallout from your mother when the truth emerged, but you consoled yourself with the thought of drowning your sorrows in champagne tonight, delaying her wrath for at least a little while. Besides, the prospect of Sukuna’s impending arrival tomorrow brought you some comfort; his unruly nature often served as a distraction from your own troubles.
You sighed heavily, meeting Nobara’s furious gaze in the mirror. “He merely said he wished to absolve me of any trouble he had caused.”
“Good riddance!” Nobara shrieked, her hand furiously waving around the hair brush in a way that made you wary, for it would not be pleasant for it to make contact with your already tender head.  “He was never the one for you to pursue, for he lacks the honor of a true gentleman! And yet—oh, heavens!” She gestured at you accusingly with the brush, her tone turning sharp. “Why, pray, do you appear so disheartened?”
You open your mouth immediately, indignant and expecting your wit, your usual ally, to conjure a response for you, only to be left open-mouthed when it came up short. Nobara seemed to sense your hesitance, opening her mouth to unleash yet another accusatory and reprimanding remark, but you quickly moved to fill your silence. “I suppose I am just…offended that he dare reject me, the diamond. The ton will seize upon this dissolution with glee. They shall revel in my supposed failure, for it will be indicative of my failure to the Queen.”
Nobara arched a brow, her skeptical silence speaking volumes. She clearly wasn’t convinced, and before she could level another charge against you, a knock sounded at the door.
“Sister, are you decent?”
“Enter, Choso,” you called out, hastily adjusting the neckline of your pale pink gown and straightening the strand of pearls around your neck.
Nobara opened the door, though she made no attempt to soften her posture. The hairbrush remained firmly in her grasp, poised like a weapon, and Choso cast it a wary glance as he stepped inside. His presence brought a sense of calm, even as his expression betrayed some inner turmoil. He hesitated for a moment before moving to sit at the edge of your vanity, his gaze flickering between you and Nobara.
You narrowed your eyes, suspicious of his silence. “Well, brother? Out with it,” you urged, though your voice lacked its usual sharpness.
He sighed, clearly reluctant. “Very well,” he began. “Pray, hear me out. You know I have never hidden my disapproval of Lord Gojo.” At the sound of that name, you flinched, though you quickly masked it with a curt nod. Choso continued nonetheless, his tone steady but earnest. “In light of recent events, I have taken it upon myself to form…a contingency plan of sorts.”
Your curiosity was piqued, though Nobara snapped at you to sit still as she continued combing through your hair. “Go on,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Choso leaned forward slightly, his voice lowering as though to ensure Nobara wouldn’t interrupt. “I have had the pleasure of conversing at length with Duke Nanami.”
You arched a brow, intrigued despite yourself. “The Duke Nanami?”
“Yes,” Choso confirmed. “He is an esteemed gentleman of considerable character, and, as fortune would have it, he is not currently pursuing anyone this season.”
Your lips parted, but no words came. Choso’s intent was clear, and the weight of his proposition settled over you like an unexpected storm. Nobara, meanwhile, had stilled entirely, her hairbrush forgotten in her hand as she turned to gawk at your brother.
“Is this,” she began, her voice disbelieving, “your solution to Gojo’s appalling behavior? To thrust her into the path of another?”
Choso shrugged, unbothered by her skepticism. “A better match by far, I would argue. The Duke has no such inclinations to trifling or dishonor.”
You sighed, leaning back as the tension in the room thickened. “And what makes you so certain the Duke would even entertain such an arrangement?” you asked, your voice tinged with a weariness you hadn’t intended to show.
Choso gave you a small smile, his hand reaching out to pat your shoulder. “Leave that to me, dear sister. For now, focus on enduring tonight’s ordeal. Tomorrow, you may take comfort in Sukuna’s arrival—and in the knowledge that your prospects are not as grim as they seem.”
You exhaled, unsure whether to feel gratitude or exasperation, as Choso rose from his seat. Whatever plans he had in motion, they would unfold in time. For now, you could only prepare yourself for the chaos that awaited.
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Gojo had outdone himself. Truly, magnificently outdone himself.
From the moment you entered the house, your hand resting lightly on Choso’s arm, the stares began. They weren’t the polite glances reserved for new arrivals at such gatherings—these were sharp, lingering, and accompanied by a cacophony of whispers that only heightened your unease.
You straightened your back, chin held high, determined not to give any of them the satisfaction of seeing your discomfort. But it was impossible to ignore the way every eye seemed to follow you, every head turned to observe as you passed. Whatever it was that had stirred this interest, you were certain Gojo was at the heart of it.
Feeling the oppressive smog of stares, you knew where you could find solace: the drinks table, where you could down a flute of champagne alongside your stress. And right as you excuse yourself from Choso’s hold, who is now looking in the general direction of some men—particularly a gaggle of men that included Lord Geto and Duke Nanami, who were looking at something in the direction of the dance floor with interest. As you walk, you take in the scene: a beautiful chandelier, and red drapings and coverings embellished with gold, a bloody alternative to the Gojo icy blue. You’re not sure why today’s ensemble of colors didn’t include blue, but you believe it is fitting for what’s going to happen to you after this party is over and your mother finds out about the elephant in the room. 
And as you glance longingly at the couples gliding across the floor, their movements synchronized with the lilting strains of the orchestra, your breath catches.
It is then that you see him.
Gojo Satoru is spinning a girl across the dance floor, his coat tails trailing like ribbons in the air. His lips move as he speaks, the tilt of his head paired with that too-familiar smirk. His partner laughs at something he’s said, a soft sound that reaches you even from this distance. You could almost identify her—there is no debutante in the ton you have not cataloged, no rival whose dossier you do not possess—but tonight, it does not matter. She is just a blur of chiffon and curls, another face in a sea of women enthralled by him.
Your chest tightens as you take in the scene, a memory unspooling unbidden.
Is this what your first dance with Gojo had looked like to others? Did you appear as enraptured as this girl, your steps as confident and sure beneath his lead? You remember his light touch at your back, his questions whispered so quietly you doubted even the orchestra could eavesdrop, his eyes full of a charm so practiced it felt like a spell cast just for you.
And yet now, the spell is broken.
He is steering her—steering everything—with such ease that it almost makes you laugh. Were he not so infuriating, you might have admired his grace, the way he seamlessly dominates both the conversation and the dance. His amusement is evident in the quirk of his brow, the corners of his mouth curling with every word she utters, no doubt answering his questions with meek enthusiasm.
She is simple. You can tell from the way he looks at her, the way he pauses before replying as if translating his own thoughts into something digestible for her. The way she beams at him—unaware of how deeply he calculates every move—is almost endearing. Almost.
He is drawing the same conclusions he did of you. Simple, lacking substance. 
The thought leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 
But then the girl laughs again, a little too loud, and Gojo’s expression flickers for just a second—long enough for you to notice. His smile tightens, his gaze sliding briefly across the room as though searching for something more stimulating. It is instinctual, this glance, and his head tilts in such a way that you know it will land on you if you linger a moment longer.
Your heart stutters in protest, your legs already moving.
Punch table. Right.
As you near it, you grab the closest drink and down it one sip, desperate for the cool of the liquid to calm both your throat and your heated mind, furious with thoughts and anxiety of those around you. And it was just as you begin to set down the cool glass that  in your periphery comes the man who soon tests your resolve.
“Miss Itadori,” a voice drawled behind you, the unmistakable lilt of smugness weaving through it.
You turned, and there stood Naoya Zen’in, his grin as unctuous as ever. He bowed slightly, though the gesture felt more like mockery than courtesy. “I must say, you are positively radiant tonight.”
You inclined your head ever so slightly, each movement deliberate. “Mr. Zen’in. How kind of you to say.”
He grinned, and the sight was unsettling, a serpent preparing to strike. “Radiant, yes. A pity Lord Gojo has finally come to his senses and moved on. I thought the two of you might actually prove interesting.”
Your stomach churned, but you kept your expression serene. “I fail to see how my affairs are of interest to you, Mr. Zen’in.”
“Oh, but they are,” he said, stepping closer, his voice lowering as though he were sharing a confidant’s secret. “Everyone is watching, you know. Wondering why Lord Gojo is…otherwise occupied tonight.” He tilted his head, motioning discreetly toward the mantle, a few meters away, where Gojo stood, entertaining and welcoming another lady.
Your eyes betrayed you, flicking briefly in that direction. Gojo’s figure remained in your periphery, still close enough to notice but far enough to be unattainable. You tore your gaze away, unwilling to feed Naoya’s glee.
Naoya leaned in, his tone growing more audacious. “Quite the spectacle, wouldn’t you agree? Though perhaps it’s for the best. You have much to offer, Miss Itadori—breeding hips, for one.”
The words hit you like a slap, your mind reeling in fury and disbelief. Your breath hitched, but before you could muster a scathing retort, something else caught your attention.
Gojo’s hand, resting casually against the column, tightened into a fist. The movement was subtle, but unmistakable—a barely contained tension that you might have missed if you weren’t already attuned to his every breath, his every twitch.
Still, you refused to look directly at him. Whatever he felt, it mattered not.
“Mr. Zen’in,” you began, voice icy and measured, though the rage burned beneath the surface, “your comments are as inappropriate as they are unwelcome. I suggest—”
“Sister.”
Choso’s voice interrupted like a lifeline thrown to a drowning sailor. You turned to see your older brother approaching, his expression calm but his eyes sharp as they darted between you and Naoya. He came to your side, his imposing presence creating an impenetrable wall between you and the unwelcome intruder.
“Mr. Zen’in,” Choso greeted with a curt nod, his tone laced with a warning. “I trust you’ll excuse my sister. She and I were just about to take a turn about the room.”
Naoya’s grin faltered, but he recovered quickly, stepping back with a mocking bow. “Of course. Do enjoy your evening.”
Choso wasted no time, offering his arm to you. You took it gratefully, your legs unsteady as he guided you away from the scene and toward a quieter corner of the ballroom.
“Are you all right?” he asked softly, his voice gentle but firm, as though bracing himself for a truth he might not like.
You nodded, though the words escaped you. Your hands trembled slightly, and Choso placed his over yours, steadying you. “I saw the way you looked,” he murmured, his voice quieter now. “At Lord Gojo.”
Your breath caught, but you said nothing, focusing instead on the steady rhythm of your brother’s steps.
“Whatever he’s done—or hasn’t done—you are worth far more than his regard,” Choso continued, his tone resolute. “Do not forget that.” A pause. “Are you all right, Sister?”
“I am fine,” you lied, though your trembling hands betrayed you.
The evening only worsened from there.
More and more, you felt the weight of curious glances, the whispers growing louder as the night wore on. The absence of Gojo’s attention did not go unnoticed—least of all by your mother, who approached you and Choso with a determined expression, her fan snapping shut with a sharp flick of her wrist.
The warmth of the ballroom’s lights could not thaw the ice that slipped down your spine as your mother approached. Her movements were poised as ever, but the tightness in her lips and the fury barely hidden in her eyes told you everything. She stopped just short of you, her fan snapping shut with a sharp click that made you flinch.
“Explain,” she hissed, her voice low enough to avoid drawing the attention of onlookers but sharp enough to carve into you.
Your breath caught in your throat. You glanced towards Choso for reinforcement, but his furrowed brow and subtle shake of his head told you he would not intervene—not yet.
“I… don’t understand, Mother,” you murmured, though the words tasted hollow even as you said them.
“Do not toy with me, child,” she snapped, her tone still hushed but more cutting. “The entire room is whispering. Where is Lord Gojo? Why has he not so much as glanced in your direction tonight? Why is he—” Her eyes darted to the waltz floor, where Gojo had just excused himself from yet another partner. “Why is he dancing with others while you stand here like a forgotten debutante?”
The words hit like a slap, and you flinched again, your gaze falling to your gloved hands. You wanted to speak, to explain, but the lump in your throat grew larger with every second.
Her voice softened but grew no less fierce. “What have you done?”
Your chest tightened, and for a fleeting moment, you considered telling her everything—about the garden, about Gojo’s words, about how utterly humiliated you had felt. But then the heat of the ballroom pressed down on you, the glances from curious onlookers prickling your skin like needles.
You couldn’t. Not here.
So, you said nothing.
The silence between you stretched thin, your mother’s patience fraying with every passing moment. Finally, she straightened, her lips pressed into a pale line. “This is how you repay all that has been done for you?” she whispered, her voice trembling with restrained fury. “Do you even comprehend what this will do to your prospects? To this family? You have disgraced yourself, and worse—you have disgraced me.”
Her words left you hollow, the guilt settling into the spaces where indignation might have taken root. Still, you could not look up, nor could you summon any defense.
Your mother’s fan snapped open again with a sharp flick, the motion more violent than graceful. “We are leaving,” she declared, turning abruptly on her heel. “Now.”
Choso stepped closer, his hand brushing lightly against your elbow as if to steady you. You dared a glance at him, finding his gaze steady and quietly supportive. It was only his presence that kept your legs moving as you followed your mother toward the grand doors.
The weight of the room’s collective gaze bore down on you with every step. The music swelled in the background, mocking you with its cheerfulness. As you neared the exit, your feet faltered.
And then you saw him.
Gojo.
He stood near the edge of the dance floor, his posture uncharacteristically tense, his jaw clenched tightly, his usual easy confidence dimmed. His head tilted slightly, his eyes cutting through the crowd to meet yours.
Your breath hitched. In his gaze, you saw regret—yearning, even—and something else you couldn’t quite name.
But it didn’t matter.
You tore your eyes away, your jaw tightening as a steely resolve settled over you.
You would not break.
Not here. Not now. Not for him.
As you stepped into the cool night air, you drew in a deep breath, willing the ache in your chest to dissipate. Gojo Satoru had taken enough from you. Your heart, your dignity—no more.
If he thought you would crumble, he was mistaken.
He would regret this, you vowed silently.
And you would make certain of it.
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The morning that came in a few days was no less disheartening than the night of the house party. The morning sun filtered weakly through the gauzy curtains of the drawing room, casting pale, lackluster patterns on the carpet. Even the sunlight seemed hesitant, as if it knew it had no place in the solemn atmosphere that hung over your family.
Even Yuji was solemn as you all sipped on your tea, the drawing room oddly quiet as you reflected in the aftermath of the past few days. The events of the house party still loomed over you. Your family’s hasty departure had been punctuated by the sight of your mother in whispered conversation with Duchess Gojo, their faces tight with the bitterness of dashed expectations. You had no doubt they had commiserated over your perceived recklessness and Gojo’s insolence, lamenting how the perfect match they had orchestrated had unraveled before their very eyes.
You had borne it all in silence.
But now, in the cold light of morning, your resolve felt brittle.
Your hands tightened around your teacup as you stared into the amber liquid, your reflection rippling with each shallow breath you took. Independence? That word felt hollow. You had fought for it, yes, but at what cost? The ton’s whispers had already begun. You could feel their weight pressing on you, suffocating in their judgment. The laughter and speculation at your expense would echo through parlors and ballrooms for weeks, if not months.
And yet, deep down, there was a spark of defiance. They thought this was your undoing. They thought you would crumble. But they had no idea.
"Why does it feel like we’re mourning?" Yuji muttered, breaking the silence. His voice was quiet, but the sarcasm was unmistakable. "It’s not as though anyone has died."
Your mother’s sigh this time was louder, sharper, and followed by a pointed glance in his direction. “Yuji, do not jest,” she snapped. "This is no laughing matter."
Choso, who had been reclining with one arm draped lazily over the armrest of his chair, sat up straighter. “Mother,” he said cautiously, his voice soft but steady, “I think it’s time we address what’s truly troubling you.”
Her handkerchief stilled in her lap. For a moment, the room was silent again, the tension thick enough to choke on.
“Troubling me?” she repeated, her tone icy. “You think I am troubled, Choso?”
“Everyone is troubled,” Choso replied, his gaze flicking briefly to you. "But perhaps if you said what’s on your mind, we could all breathe a little easier."
Your mother’s lips thinned as she sat up straighter, her shoulders stiff. “Very well,” she said sharply, “if you must know, I am ashamed.”
The word hit you like a slap, even though you had expected it. You gritted your teeth, staring down at your tea to hide the flush of anger and embarrassment creeping up your neck.
“Ashamed of what?” you asked quietly, your voice tighter than you intended.
“Of you,” she replied without hesitation. “Of the scandal you have brought upon this family. Do you think your actions have no consequences? Do you think the ton will simply overlook your…” She hesitated, clearly searching for the most cutting word. “Your antics with Lord Gojo?”
You felt Choso stiffen beside you, his protective instincts clearly flaring, but you held up a hand to stop him. You wouldn’t hide behind your brothers—not this time.
“I have done nothing wrong,” you said, your voice low but firm. “Gojo and I made a mutual decision that we were incompatible. We—”
“You humiliated yourself!” she interrupted, her voice rising. “And by extension, this family. Do you think people are speaking of him? No! It is you they ridicule. It is your name they sully.”
Your chest burned with anger and hurt, but before you could retort, Yuji shifted uncomfortably, muttering, “This is getting out of hand…”
“You think I care about their opinions?” you snapped, finally lifting your gaze to meet your mother’s. “The ton has always been cruel. They would find a reason to gossip no matter what I did. I refuse to live my life pandering to their expectations—”
“And look where that refusal has left you,” your mother interrupted, her voice shaking with fury. “Unmarried. Ruined. Who will have you now?”
You flinched, the words cutting deeper than you thought possible. Your lips parted, but no words came out. What could you possibly say to that?
The silence that followed was deafening.
Until a voice, smooth and amused, broke it.
“Now, now, Mother. I know you’ve always had a flair for the dramatic, but let us not turn your theatrics onto our dearest sister.”
All heads turned toward the entrance, where a figure lounged against the doorway, his presence commanding without even trying. There he stood—Sukuna, your brother, looking entirely too pleased with himself for someone who had kept you waiting for days. Both you and Yuji involuntarily gasped in excitement, while Choso only shook his head in amusement and crossed his arms.
He strode into the room with an air of nonchalance, his tailored attire immaculate, his smile one of mocking amusement. His gaze flicked to your mother, then to you, lingering for a moment as if to appraise the damage left in her wake.
“Good morning,” he said smoothly, the corners of his mouth curling. “I trust I’ve arrived in time to save you from a most tiresome sermon.”
Your mother bristled, but her voice faltered, her ire now redirected. “Sukuna, this is hardly the time for your irreverence—”
“And yet here I am,” he interrupted, dropping into a chair with the kind of ease that only Sukuna could muster. He leaned back, his sharp gaze softening just slightly as it fell on you. “I thought you might appreciate a reprieve. You seem to have had enough lectures for a lifetime.”
You could feel tears welling in your eyes. You had severely underestimated how much you missed your elder brother, seeing his presence stir a fondness and comfort you hadn’t felt ever since he left for Europe. And it seemed that your brothers shared your sentiment; Yuji was basically on his haunches, doing everything he could not to leave his chair to tackle Sukuna, and Choso barely holding in an amused smile. 
“Still causing chaos wherever you go, I see,” Choso said dryly, though there was no malice in his tone.
Sukuna smirked. “Someone has to keep things interesting.”
Your mother huffed, her lips pressing into a thin line as she rose from her seat. “I refuse to be made a fool in my own home. Sukuna, do try not to corrupt your siblings further while I attend to matters of actual importance.” She swept out of the room with her usual imperious grace, leaving a silence in her wake.
As soon as she left, you left your chair to basically jumping on him, hugging him tightly as he reciprocated your hug with wrapping his big arms around yours with equal fervor. “Kuna,” you whispered, burying your face into his chest as the tears started flowing. His presence surrounded you, offering you a comfort and familiarity that the eventful weeks, ever since your debut, hadn’t offered
Sukuna looked down to you with a raised brow as he patted your head affectionately. “Well, that was entertaining. Now, who’s going to tell me what truly happened while I was gone?”
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prev. the fall | next. the rebound
general masterlist | series masterlist
a/n hi everyone!!! so i lied and said the update wasn't gonna take as long #womaninmalefields BUT thank you for your patience <3
so uh....we are now gonna enter the arc with DRAMAA. there will be yearning, there will be angst, and soon after, there will be fluff. idk if anyone needs to hear this, but, again, this series will have a happy ending. if anyone is sad, don't worry. i'm going to make gojo grovel <3
SUKUNA IS BACK SUKUNA IS BACK what do we think?! spoiler alert this is what sukuna will wanna do to gojo after reader spills the tea
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THANK U FOR READING!!! rest assured reader a BADDIE there will be some showing ankles and lowering bustlines to start our reputation era and infuriate gojo but u didnt hear that from me !!!
comment and reblog to let me know ur thots ;3
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vxnuslogy · 2 months ago
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— the only exception.
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pairing: rin itoshi x gn!reader
premise: itoshi rin isn’t a very likable person in general. he’s rude and doesn’t have any respect for anyone, well other than you. quite literally attached to the hip, you were the only one that rin actually ‘tolerates’. everyone still wonders why you even put up with him, but dear, if they actually cared enough to look past his icy exterior maybe then they’d be rewarded with the soft and clingy rin you knew.
— warnings: ooc-rin (??), just rin fluff
— author’s note: this is reupload from my old blog ( syriiina ). i also might start writing for bllk again so yippie!! art credits to @l_An_pi on twt.
— tags: @ryescapades @mitsvriii @laterosal @mikashisus @powchakko ; if you’d like to be tagged, please fill out the form on my pinned or send me an ask off anon!
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“rin!” you shouted, hands frankly waving from the stands as the tall boy jogged towards you. leaning over the railing, hands neatly folded in front of you as you grinned at your sweaty friend who only raised a brow at you. “do you wanna go to the arcade later after practice?”
from the corner of your vision, you could see his teammates speak in hushed tones. you couldn’t help the amused chuckle in your throat as you patiently waited for rin to answer your invitation.
“why not?” you grinned, “we’ll be done in 10 minutes, mind waiting for me?” you just nodded and sat down on one of the vacant seats of the seating area while rin jogged back to the field with his teammates. laughing at how his team was interrogating the poor boy.
10 minutes flew by quickly, at this point you had stood up from your seat and made your way back to the entrance, waiting for rin to finish his shower and change. a few more minutes passed by before you heard the soft padding of footsteps behind you. it wasn’t long when a tap on your shoulder made you look up from your phone. grinning when familiar eyes with long under lashes came to greet you.
“you ready to go?” duffel bag carelessly slung over his shoulder, he followed you out of the school and to the arcade you had mentioned earlier. “you seem happy for a trip to the arcade.” he said, tugging at your hand slightly when you were near the crossing –he was making sure you didn’t get run over by a vehicle – before letting go and instead taking hold of your bag.
unlocking your phone, you showed rin of the new crane machine that had been installed a few days ago. “aren’t those machines scams?” he asked you, flailing your arms around a bit saying that’s not the point. he only sighed and let you ramble about how the plushies in the machine were cute.
“you’ll help me get one right?”
“no.”
you knew it was a lie. 
by the time you made it to the arcade, you made a beeline to the new crane machine while rin got the tokens. he sighed again when he saw you beckoning him over, eager to play the scam machine to try and get a plushie that wasn’t even worth all the hassle.
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“rin let’s go get lunch!”
no one was really surprised by your presence when you were by the door of the classroom, already anticipating your arrival minutes prior. it was exactly noon, meaning you’ll be by the classroom door waiting for itoshi rin to finish packing up to go get lunch at the cafeteria.
“no packed lunch today?” he asked, one hand shoved inside his pant pocket. you only shook your head, moving aside from the door to give room for rin to get out of the classroom, “not today, was too lazy to cook.”
as the taller male closed the door, everyone began to wonder as usual. someone as stoic and indifferent as itoshi rin hanging out with you, they thought of it as a strange combo but neither of you ever really bothered to care about how people perceived your relationship.
“i hope the strawberry cheesecake isn’t sold out yet.”
from the corner of his eye, rin saw the silver bracelet move along with your hand as you got your wallet out of your pockets. gaze lingering more than he should, “rin? you good there?” you asked but he only nodded his head. turning his focus on the corridor buzzing with students but every now and then, he’d take glances at you.
you always never bother pointing it out. you take pleasure in the simple normalcy routine with rin.
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“sorry i’m hanging out with rin later! maybe next time?”
“i’ll pass for today, i promised rin i’d help him with homework.”
“i’m going to watch rin’s match, i’ll see you guys later!”
“oh right rin said he needed some new pens. be right back!”
“rin let’s go eat lunch! i packed a bento for the both of us!”
“not eating with itoshi today?” your friend asked as she pulled out the chair in front of you, taking out her own lunch and placing it on your table. you only shook your head, “already finished. he’s at practice now.”
her gaze lingered a little over your figure, you only tilted your head to the side, “is there something on my face?”
“no, no, it’s just…”
“just?” taking another bite of your lunch you patiently waited for your friend to ask her question.
“you and itoshi seem really close.”
you just shrugged, continuing to eat your lunch as she sighed. the both of you were enveloped in silence for a while before she asked another question.
“i’m a bit surprised you put up with him. i mean, didn’t you say you don’t really like people like him?”
that question made you stop chewing and begin to ponder. it didn’t take long for you to come up with an answer, “he isn’t so bad if you get to know him well enough.” you said with a smile. almost laughing at your friend’s face as she gave you a bewildered face.
“seriously? he didn’t brainwash you or anything did he?”
letting out a laugh, you waved your hand, “you watch way too many movies. no, he didn’t brainwash me or anything.”she sighed and just continued to eat her lunch. 
itoshi rin may not be the most likable student, but you like him. he may not show it but he truly does care. all does impromptu visits to arcades, tugging at your sleeve, arm, and even hand in some occasions to make sure you didn’t stray too far from him, getting you those plushies in the crane machine even if it takes hours, coming over to your place to help you cook lunch for the next day because he knows you hate the food in the cafeteria most of the time, giving you his jersey so you could wear it during his match. itoshi rin shows his affection in his own unique and simple ways.
they don’t know him like you do. they knew the rin who’s stoic, rude, disrespectful and arrogant. but you? the rin you know is kind, caring, sweet, a bit rough around the edges but he’s your rin. the rin you wouldn’t trade for the world.
if only they knew that he was the one that gifted you the silver bracelet that adorned your wrist – his name engraved on the inside – when he first confessed. and they’ll never know how there’s a silver chain around his neck with a ring – your initial delicately engraved on it – that he always wears no matter where he goes.
no one knows of your relationship. no one needed to know of your relationship.
rin from the very beginning was a private person, and you never minded. after all, why would you complain when you have him all for yourself?
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© VXNUSLOGY 2024 — do not plagiarize, repost, or translate works without the knowledge or consent of the creator in other platforms or websites.
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flkwh0re · 5 months ago
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Guilty Pleasure
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Warnings: Mommy kink, Degrading, Praising, Use of the word "slut”, Strap-on usage (R receiving), Overstimulation (Kinda), Dumbification, After care
Word Count: 1,562
Authors Note: You have to imagine pre-death, endgame Natasha for this because that's who I thought of. (totally not my girlfriend who's totally not the one that made me wanna write this.)
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Your sex life with Natasha was very vanilla, sickeningly vanilla. Hours of fantasies of woman had curated in your head over the span of your relationship with her. You knew if you brought it up with her she wouldn't judge you at all for wanting to spice things up, but still something had stopped you time and time again, when it came to talking to her about the matter.
Today you determined to talk with her, you made her favorite meal, set the table oh so beautifully, dressed up, and then it led you to where you sat now. All dolled up at the dining table waiting for your wife to return home from a days work as an Avenger.
As thoughts of the woman filled your mind, they were interrupted by the sound of keys fumbling with the lock. "Sweetheart, I'm home!" Natasha shouted as she stepped through the door, her tone going softer as she noticed your presence at the table. "Well hello, sweet girl. What's all this?" She giggled.
"I made your favorite food Natty." You said cheerfully, as you stood to greet your wife with a kiss. "Did you murder someone?" She asked half jokingly. "No I only wanted to treat you." You lied. "That's very sweet of you dear, thank you." She placed a soft kiss on your lips, before walking off to take her shoes off.
"Let me go change into some comfier clothes, then I'll be right back." She said, earning a small nod of your head from you. You nervously made your way back to the table, sitting down, and making sure everything was perfect in the process.
"I'm back!" Nat walked in, a tight black shirt hugging her body perfectly, along with her grey sweatpants, causing you to lick your lips discreetly.
"Baby, this food is wonderful, but I have to ask... is there some special occasion I'm missing?" Natasha asked with the raise of her brow. "No, I actually just wanted to discuss something with you." Natasha's expression seemed to have a little worry, which you quickly shut that down.
"I've been thinking a lot recently, about you, us. I-" You paused for a moment, trying to find the words as to not seem so desperate even though you very much were. "I've been wanting to spice up our sex life recently. I know that sounds really stupid, because I love what you give me and I don't want to seem like I'm not satisfied with you, I just want to try new things." You rambled on before Natasha stopped you.
"Baby, that's it's not stupid. I've been thinking the same. Though I didn't have plans to make such a big amazing meal to ask." She joked, making you laugh. "Why don't we try tonight? Tell me what you want baby." Blush crept on your cheeks as you thought back to all the things you've thought about.
"Well, I've really wanted to try out that strap we bought, and I don't want to be gentle all the time. I want you to be rougher with me, and... I think I want to call you mommy." A small groan came from Natasha at your confession. "I also want you to use harsher names for me, degrading words."
Without saying a word, Natasha tore you from your seat and brought you to your room. She pushed you back onto the bed, her lips colliding with yours. Your tongue tangled with her, and your hands found place in her hair. "Are you sure you want this? I want you to feel comfortable with me." You nod, "Please Nat, I need this."
She smirked, "Is that what you call me?" Your expression was one of confusion, until you got what she meant. "Mommy.." Natasha smiled, "What a smart girl you are."
She removed herself from the spot on top of you, rummaging around for the strap she'd kept stored for so long. "Take off your clothes while I get this on, sweetheart." The name Nat had used on you many of times, now felt completely different.
Once your clothes were off you waited patiently at the edge of the bed for Natasha to attach the harness to her hips. "There we go, can you lay back for mommy, baby?" You scooted your body back as you laid down for her.
Her soft hands gripped your thighs spreading them apart. "God you're so wet, all this just from telling me about your fantasies. Why don't you tell me more pretty girl?" You felt embarrassed to admit something that you'd found a guilty pleasure in doing, but to be honest the embarrassment made you all the more excited.
"I like thinking about being on top of you, struggling to keep getting myself off on you without your help. Or having you tell me to keep taking you." Natasha tugged her lip between her teeth, concealing the moan she almost let escape, because of your confession.
"My god, who knew my wife was such a slut." She said, watching closely for your reaction to the word. Your face was a mix of shock and enjoyment, the whimper that came from you told her all she needed to know.
"Let mommy fuck this pretty, wet pussy." Her lips connected with yours, as the tip of the toy collided with your pussy. She slowly slipped it in you, as to not hurt you. Though it didn't really matter, you'd not be spared from her upcoming assault.
Small whimpers came from you as she stretched you out. "Mommy, it hurts." Your hands hastily gripped onto her shoulders, "Shh take it like a good girl, can you do that for mommy?" You nod.
Natasha's pace quickly fastened, her hips snapping against yours. You weren't sure how long you'd be able to hold your orgasm due to the pleasure you were feeling. "M-mommy, it feels s'good." Natasha smiled at your messy pronunciation of such simple words. "Keep that pretty little mouth shut, let me do all the work. Don't you think a thought unless it's about me."
After a while of your current acts, Natasha knew you were close. "Don't cum yet, hold it." You whined, "Mm I can't, feels s'good." Suddenly you were flipped to where you sat upon Natasha's lap, her hands resting on your hips.
"If you're gonna act like a needy little slut, you're gonna have to earn to cum like one." Your puzzled, disappointed eyes almost made Nat give in. "Cmon get to work."
Your weak legs tried their best to lift your body, trying your hardest to get your high. Natasha's lips came in contact with your neck, licking and sucking tender spots. leaving small purple blemishes on your skin.
Her tongue grazed your hardened nipples softly, before sucking harshly on the bud. Your nails dug into her shoulders, and your head lolled next to hers. Your lips parted next to her, small whimpers and gasp filled her ears.
"Cmon baby you can do better than this, can't you? Or are you such a dumbed down whore that you need mommy to take control, hm?" Her words honestly made you even more dumb, you couldn't even respond but just moan. "That's not an answer, if you want something you have to use your words baby."
After a bit, you were able to gather the strength to get more than just whimpers out. "Pl-please, mommy. I need you, can't cum without mommy." She smiled, "What a good girl you are! Now relax baby, let mommy take over." Her thrust up into you filled a much needed gap of pleasure, and your struggled finally paid off.
It didn't take much effort to finally get you to cum, and when you did it was like no orgasm before. You felt as if you were floating on clouds, and that you could reach out and grab the stars that blurred your vision.
Before you knew it, you were waking up to Natasha running a hot bath for you. "Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?" She asked as she pushed your ruffled, sweaty hair off your forehead. "'M tired." You said honestly.
"Well let me get you all cleaned up, then we'll get you into bed." She said as she gently scooped you up and carried you to the warm bath, which consisted of Natasha washing your hair for you which you loved, her gently cleaning your sweat slicked body with a soft cloth and your favorite soap.
She helped hold you steady as she got you out of the tub, and got you fresh new pajamas on. "There we go sweetheart, now let's get you into bed."
She laid down, then pulled you into her arms. Wrapping them gently around your tired body, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. Your head shifted down to play upon her chest, the sound of her heart beat relaxing you even more.
"You did so good for me sweet girl." She whispered softly to you. "Thank you, mommy." She smiled at you still using the titled for her, which she was sure you weren't even aware you had used it, and you weren't.
Not before long, you had dozed off. Natasha gently rubbed your back as she watched, whatever she had playing on the tv. The acts of earlier replaying through her mind.
MASTERLIST
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lizardaggro · 6 months ago
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...would you guys even believe me if i said i hadn't died by the wayside several months ago? no? it's okay I understand. i'm here now though, at 3 in the morning with way too much caffeine in my veins. anyway, it was always my plan to get back to writing here. i was thinking though, what if i rewrote the bully!au thing with all the experience i've gained from roleplaying? because the current version has the craziest pacing ever, and also i never could figure out how to continue it. actually, i'm not gonna ask for anyone's opinion; i'm just gonna do it. eventually. in addition, if you're looking for something to read in the meantime, i do have the first chapter of a vampire!au too. it's my favorite child and i really want to see it through to the end, someday. i come bearing recommendations for other fic writers as well: back when i actually checked my tumblr i was quite fond of @/azulsluver and @/parad-ice-lostandfound
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4vlad · 7 months ago
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My master
—summary: Alucard, the Vampire who proclaimed himself your servant, drinks your blood for the first time
—warnings: sexual content, master/servant relationship, non-consensual touching, dirty talk, blood drinking, human/vampire relationship
words: 1.468.
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The day could not have been more exhausting, you had to work late because your boss didn't have more staff, it left you exhausted, very tired but you were finally able to get out of that hell, the bad thing is that it is very dark and cold at night, the London streets are eerily silent tonight.
"Scared dear?" He says a loud voice to which you scream and turn around throwing your bag towards the person behind you, the man catches the bag quickly "is this for me?" He laughs. "Ah! Alucard! You scared me, don't do that again!" You approach him and take his bag from him, "my sincere apologies, my master" you shudder at the dominant alias, Alucard is a vampire who had proclaimed himself as your servant months ago, you think he is crazy and you have certainly realized that he is, you were not a dominant person, much less someone of authority, you honestly don't know why he says you are his Mistress and you haven't asked him anyway. From the little you know about him is that he is a very strong, self-centered and prankster Vampire, you have even seen him in action a couple of times.
Alucard laughs at your ramblings while you both head to your apartment, even though the walk was long neither of them spoke much, as always Alucard only followed you because according to him it is to "protect you from danger" that you appreciated but you also don't want to abuse his goodness.
You enter your apartment and Alucard follows you by closing the door behind him "I must say that your area is very cozy Mistress" he takes off his hat and glasses before sitting on the sofa that he himself has claimed as "his", you Without giving it much importance go to your room and changes your clothes into more comfortable ones, minutes later You returns with the vampire "...I'm going to cook chicken and French fries, do you want?" You ask the vampire "No, dear human, I'm not a big fan of fried food." You thought for a moment whether to offer him a salad since he was a vampire, but he didn't seem to hate human food either, after all, he's eaten with you a few times, well, when you cook for him. .
You got down to work while the vampire just watched you as always, at first you were afraid of this monster, his energy was and is a little sinister, but over time you began to appreciate his company, he saved you a few times from some malefactors even, their presence still bothers you a little but you put up with it, Alucard has made it clear to you many times that he has no intention of harming you, that he is your servant and is here to obey your orders, whatever you ask of him. He's weird, you think.
In your rambling you get distracted and accidentally cut the skin on your hand, a sharp pain runs through you, thick blood falls from your hand to your elbow, you quickly turn off the stove "Ugh!" You groan in pain as you head towards the dishwasher to wash your wound.
The vampire, with his developed sense of smell, perceived a sweet and tempting aroma in the air, a fragrance that was familiar and irresistible at the same time. It was your smell of blood, a signal to his thirsty nature. However, there was something different about this smell, a subtle but unmistakable touch of sweetness, as if he belonged to a human being with a unique and exquisite blood. Alucard quickly stopped you, he appeared in front of you with a smile from ear to ear "Let me help you with that My Dear Mistress, it will be a pleasure to clean and heal your wound" you got a little scared, you were dripping blood with an extremely violent vampire, danger!
Alucard sensed your fear and quickly calmed you down or at least he tried to. "I won't bite you, I promise, you don't have to be scared, sweet human, I won't hurt you unless you give me those orders," he says with a deep but soft voice at the same time. While the vampire convinces you, he takes you to the couch and sits you on top of his legs. You are embarrassed but you still give in. You raise your hand to let the blood drip into your Vampire's mouth. Alucard opens his mouth, big as a beast, his fangs sharp, each one pointed, he sticks out his long, fat tongue, he is eager, salivating even before you will agree to feed him.
A heavy drop of blood falls on the vampire's tongue, his pupils dilate and his gaze becomes intense, the beautiful beast grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth, his tongue was cold, the sensation of the wet and heavy tongue of Alucard slightly relieves your pain, he tastes your entire hand and your fingers, from top to bottom from one side to the other, his tongue moves gently enjoying the taste of your blood, he simply knows that he has never tasted a taste as sweet as it. Yours, it's the first time he's tasted your blood, he knew you were as tasty as he imagined.
Shadow hands appear around you to caress you, his hands are everywhere! On your abdomen, legs and thighs! How disrespectful!
You get embarrassed and try to take his hand away but he is stronger, his grip is firm on his food.
Alucard's hands caress you gently, kneading your skin over your clothes, he wants to taste everything about you.
once he finishes his meal, his eyes are fixed on you, his irises a bright red color, he smiles at you softly but with a dominant expression, he lets out a deep laugh as he brings you even closer to him "my mistress... You are a virgin..." He says with a deep voice, you move your hands away and put it to your chest, your cheeks turn red because of Alucard's words, did he know it just by tasting your blood? What does it have to do with you being a virgin? What a dirty pervert!
"So what...?"
He just laughs, he knew you were shy but you were also sweet and kind, always gentle and ready for anything, he couldn't believe that a little thing as pretty as you was still a virgin, he couldn't believe that even though you was so beautiful, so tasty, no one has corrupted you, well...it's not like any human can properly teach you what carnal pleasures are.
He purred, the taste and your aroma were overwhelming, his Master is as tasty as she looks.
"Mmm...wouldn't you like to feel what sexual pleasure is like, little human?" He doesn't care if you were a virgin or not but now? Oh...he wanted to corrupt you in every way possible, the smell of your embarrassment and excitement from the dirty talk invaded the vampire's senses.
You felt your panties stick to your lips because of the humidity "..." You remained silent, is this how this creature addresses his master? Did you know that he was insolent, what good is he proclaiming himself your servant if he doesn't respect you as such? Your eyebrows knit together in an expression of anger and embarrassment. He laughs at your reaction.
"My master..." he says with a suggestive voice, almost like a whisper, "it's been a long time since I gave myself to a Human," you don't respond. "You know that I am all yours, your servant, I am here to please your needs, to please you my beloved master..." Again he begins to purr. Your heart beats hard as you feel the hardness in the Vampire's crotch.
He was a burlesque and a pervert but he knew how to seduce a woman, using dirty words but at the same time being a gentleman.
He has never given himself this way to a master, not even his previous masters, but you? How could you be so delicious? So cute? He was willing to please you if you wanted, he just waited for you to say the words.
"You...you are not my servant Alucard" you get up from the couch "And I don't want...I don't want to do that..."
Alucard sighs disappointed but accepts "even if you don't want to be my mistress, I want you to know that I am here if you need to satisfy your needs, dear," he smiles.
"Please forgive my insolence, no matter how much I want you, I have to earn your affection and I will do it appropriately" he rises to his height and bends down again to kiss your hand in an act of chivalry.
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Sorry if there are spelling mistakes, English is not my first language, I hope you enjoyed! You are free to leave me ideas by the way. AO3: rosemary06 (click)
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prythiansprincess · 1 year ago
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mattheo's mixtape.
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pairing: mattheo riddle x reader.
song inspiration: lovesong by the cure.
author's note: this idea has been in my head for so long, but now it's finally out. strap in babes, we're simping for mattheo on main. something about those pretty brown eyes and angelic little curls just get me. your honor, i adore him.
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The bell outside the door to the record store chimed softly as the boys ventured inside. Mattheo peered curiously at the buzzing neon sign, the slightly scuffed black and white vinyl floor, and the racks and racks of records lining the walls. Though he hadn’t been to the muggle side of Edinburgh, it didn’t look all that different from its magical counterpart.
Yet Mattheo felt like a fish out of water all the same. 
Behind him, Theo continued rambling as they perused the vast collection of records laid out before them. “What songs have you picked out? Is there a theme? We’ll need to collect all the tapes for the cassette recorder and compile them all into a single tape.” 
The slew of questions Theo threw his way was enough to make him feel overwhelmed. Mattheo was well aware that he was completely out of his depth here, but he was determined to learn. Admittedly, he was quite ignorant of the muggle world until you came into his life. The more you told him about the queer customs and traditions of the non-magical population, the more he began to crave your stories of taking the tube, eating fish and chips until you were sick, and visiting Brighton with your cousins over the summer holiday. 
There was a whole world out there that you were a part of, which made him want to be part of it as well.
“You boys alright?” asked the kind woman behind the counter. "Would you like some help?"
Mattheo shied away from the attention, but as usual, Theo turned on his charm and flashed a winning smile at the older woman. “As a matter of fact, we do,” his friend drawled. “My mate here is looking to make a mixtape for his girlfriend.” 
The woman smiled warmly. “How sweet. I remember those days. There’s nothing quite as magical as first love,” she said with a dreamy, faraway expression. “I’d be happy to help. What songs did you have in mind?” 
After turning over his list, the woman, who turned out to be the owner of the record store, helped compile the cassettes Mattheo needed in order to make the mixtape. She patiently showed them how to record each track and slowed down the instructions so Mattheo could diligently write down notes. 
As Mattheo waited for the next track to record, he watched as Theo tried and failed to flirt with the older woman. 
“I’m flattered, dear. But I’m old enough to be your mum.” Mattheo snickered, causing his best friend to glare at him. 
“Age is nothing but a number, Annette.” 
“You’re a persistent one, aren’t you? I’m sure you’ll find your match someday, Theodore. As I have in my husband, whom I’m happily married to.” She turned over to Mattheo and smiled. “He was my first love too.” 
Making small talk had never been Mattheo’s strong suit and you often teased him that engaging in polite conversation with a stranger every once in a while wouldn’t kill him. Without fail, he sarcastically responded that it genuinely might, which earned him an eye roll. A fond one, though. Followed by a lip bite as you attempted to conceal a smile. 
“How long have you been together?” Mattheo asked curiously. 
“Twenty years,” Annette answered proudly. “Though we were friends for ages before he finally mustered up the courage to ask me out.”
Theo snorted. “Sounds familiar.” 
Mattheo swatted the back of his head. “My girl and I started out as friends too. Best friends, actually.”
“Hey!” Theo whined. “I take offense to that. I’ve known you longer. Only difference is that you and Y/N snog, which I’m more than open to if you asked.” The wink he sent Mattheo's way made the other boy blanch.
“Sorry about him.” It was a sentiment he was quite familiar with when it came to Theo. The twat tended to flirt with anything that had a pulse. Come to think of it, he wouldn't put it past Theo to chat up a corpse. Merlin knows Mattheo had witnessed his friend trying out a pick up line on the Grey Lady. “So, your husband. When did you realize he was the one?” 
“There wasn’t a specific moment, per say,” Annette said thoughtfully. “It’s a culmination of our history together. Since we were friends for so long, Declan just knew me. He knew how I took my coffee and had it ready for me first thing in the morning. He knew that I hated driving in the snow and always offered to give me lift to work when it did. He knew that I had a soft spot for strays and never complained when I brought them home. Declan makes me feel safe. Like I could weather anything the world threw at me as long as he was by my side. I guess when you know, you know."  
Mattheo pondered her words. He couldn’t help but recall all the times that his life felt like a never ending shit storm, like it would swallow him whole and drown him from the weight of his troubles. Yet at the end of the day, he always knew that after the storm came the rainbow. That’s what you were for him. You colored his world so brightly that the dark seemed inconsequential compared to your light. 
“Y/N makes me feel like that too,” Mattheo declared. “She’s patient and kind. She’s the type of person that always sees the good in people. She saw it in me even when I couldn’t see it myself.” 
Behind him, Theo sniffled as he patted his shoulder. For all his jokes and sarcasm, his friend was actually a hopeless romantic deep down. “For Salazar’s sake, Mattheo. Don’t make me bawl like a baby in front of the pretty lady.” Theo wiped at the corner of his eyes rather dramatically. “If Y/N doesn’t marry you someday, then I will. I bet my legs would look amazing in a white dress.”
At that, Mattheo chuckled. He was suddenly glad that his best friend was more than willing to be dragged along in Mattheo’s endeavors to impress his girl. Salazar knew he never would've gotten this far without Theo's self-proclaimed expertise on all things muggle, thanks to his Advanced Muggle Studies class.
As they wrapped up, Mattheo thanked Annette for all her help. Theo promised to come back and winked over his shoulder as Mattheo gathered all of his supplies. The older woman smiled at him as they parted ways.
"Best of luck, Mattheo. Though I doubt you need it. Thank you for indulging an old woman. It was genuinely a pleasure to be able to help you today."
"No, thank you. Y/N is going to love it."
"Your girlfriend is a very lucky girl."
Mattheo shook his head. "I'm the lucky one. This is the least I could do to show her how much I..." he trailed off, trying to find the right words. "How much I care for her."
Care didn't seem like a strong enough word, but it was close. Mattheo wasn't sure he could fully verbalize the intensity of what he felt for you. You weren't just his girlfriend. You were his best friend, too. His confidante. His rock. You were everything to him.
“Remember what I told you. When you know, you know." She patted Mattheo's shoulder. "You talk about Y/N like I talk about my husband. It's clear that she's very special to you. Don't let go of that one."
Mattheo smiled to himself, his cheeks flushing. “I won't.” 
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The midnight moon glowed above the Scottish Isles, enveloping the rocky shores of the Black Lake with a chilly breeze that made you shudder even underneath the comfort of your red and gold striped sweater. 
“Are you cold?” Mattheo asked softly, his voice echoing through the empty beach. 
Before you could respond, your boyfriend shrugged off his coat and wrapped it around your shoulders. With a shy smile, you thanked Mattheo and flushed as he took your hand in his. As you continued on your late night stroll, he cleared pebbles in your path to ensure that you didn’t trip over them on the way to the dock. 
It was the little things—the small gestures that Mattheo enacted on a daily basis that made you fall for him even more. Though the relationship was fairly new, the connection between you was undeniable. Perhaps because you started out as potions partners, which eventually blossomed into friendship and now you couldn’t even remember a time when he wasn’t part of your life. 
The two of you settled at the end of the dock and the rickety wood creaked underneath the weight, adjusting to its visitors as Mattheo cuddled you into his side. Warmth radiated off of him, heating you from the inside out with a pleasant flush. Mattheo chuckled as you shoved your cold hands underneath his sweater, curling his fingers around yours and warming you up like your own personal heater. 
“So, why did you want to come out here tonight?” you asked after a moment. 
As you peered up at him, the moonlight kissed your boyfriend’s features, illuminating the sharp edges of his jawline and cheekbones, curving down the slope of his nose and stopping right above his Cupid’s bow where his soft, plush lips curled into a shy smile as he blinked down at you. 
The flush on his cheeks was almost an exact match to the crimson scarf around your neck. He absentmindedly fidgeted with your fingers, his chocolate brown eyes flickering over your face nervously. Mattheo looked so shy and earnest, so unlike the bad boy persona that everyone else seemed to attribute to your boyfriend. 
“I made you something,” he stated. You watched as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a cassette tape that you hadn’t noticed before. “I noticed that you listen to music while studying or walking through the halls, so I thought I’d compile a few of my favorite songs for you.” 
Your heart warmed at this beautiful boy. “You made me a mixtape?” 
Mattheo nodded, his angelic curls grazing his cheeks. “I can’t take all of the credit. Theo helped me quite a bit. I wasn’t sure how to make the tape for you, but he did since he’s taking Advanced Muggle Studies. We went into town last weekend and this lovely woman from the record shop showed us how to track and record the songs. I picked the ones that remind me of you the most.” 
You looked down at the cassette tape and smiled. The front was covered in little red hearts and spelled out in your boyfriend’s familiar scrawl was Matty’s Mixtape. As if that weren’t enough to make you swoon, underneath the tape was a small booklet with more of Mattheo’s handwriting. You smiled at his selection of songs. There was a mix of Queen, the Cure, the Clash, and of course, the Smiths. It was like having a little piece of Mattheo in your hands.
“I made you a booklet too. There’s a tracklist with reasons why I picked the songs,” Mattheo shuffled beside you, his body language conveying an uncharacteristic shyness. “I also drew a couple of things.” 
Sure enough, the booklet was filled with your boyfriend’s drawings. Your eyes filled with tears as you turned the pages. Mattheo rarely showed anyone his art. He was incredibly protective of anything he created since it showed a certain vulnerability. The fact that he was trusting you with it wasn’t something you took for granted. 
You traced over the drawings with a fond smile. There were portraits of you on one page, while the others contained memories that you were quite attached to. Your first date at the Three Broomsticks. The first time you wore his quidditch sweater to a Slytherin vs. Ravenclaw match. The day you shared a cup of hot chocolate at Madam Puddifoot’s when the two of you were just friends. They were all in here, immortalized on paper. 
Beside you, Mattheo watched anxiously as you flipped through the pages. When you got to the last one, you grinned up at him. “Matty, these are incredible.” 
“Really?” He asked, sounding a bit unsure. “You don’t think they’re cheesy?” 
“No, I love it!” You threw your arms around him and squeezed your boyfriend into a bear hug. He chuckled, burying his face in your hair and savoring the feel of you in his arms. As you pulled away to face him, Mattheo tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His heart hurt just to look at you. He really couldn’t believe you were his. You smiled softly. “And I love you.” 
You said it firmly, like it was a matter-of-fact. Like you were reciting a truth as fundamental as gravity. 
“You love me?” 
“I do,” you replied with a smile. “I love you, Mattheo Riddle.”
“Are you sure?” 
“Absolutely positive.” 
“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to say it because I made you this mixtape and gave you cheesy drawings—”
He stopped mid-sentence as you grabbed his face with both hands. Mattheo softened at the fierce determination in your eyes. “Mattheo. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. Before that, you were the best friend I’ve ever had too. You treat me like a queen and I never have to worry about other girls trying to talk to you because you never even give them the time of day. You make me soup when I’m sick. You give me your jumpers when I’m cold. You bring me coffee when I’m pulling all nighters. I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend, so yes. I love you. Not because of the mixtape or the drawings, but because you’re you.”
Mattheo was taken aback. Before you, he never thought he was capable of caring for someone so deeply. You were ingrained in him. It was like the universe had cleaved his soul in two and he’d spent an eternity searching for you. You were his other half—the better half of him that he’d been missing all along. Now that he found you, he had no intention of letting you go. 
The lovestruck expression on his face warmed your heart. His eyes—those sweet, warm brown eyes made you feel weak in the knees. Mattheo cradled your jaw and looked at you like you were the only girl in the world. 
“I love you too, Y/N.” 
You smiled as he leaned forward, bringing your lips to his in a tender kiss. He sighed in relief like he’d been waiting for this all day, fingers snaking through your hair as your body melted into his. Mattheo hummed, peppering kisses all over your face. You giggled as he pecked your cheeks, nose, jaw, and neck. 
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he declared with every kiss. 
Burying your face into his neck, you inhaled the familiar scent of amber, cinnamon, and leather. Mattheo sighed as you scratched his scalp.
“Will you tell me about the songs while we listen to them?” you murmured against his skin. 
Mattheo nodded as his curls tickled your cheek. “Of course, sweetheart.”
He pulled out a cassette player and popped the tape in. You cuddled into his side, smiling as he presented you with one half of the headphones. The soft crooning sound of the Smiths filled your ears as Mattheo played with your hair, telling you little anecdotes about the band and how Theo almost knocked over the cassette recorder while he tried to flirt with the record shop owner. 
You chuckled as you listened, picking up the sweet lyrics that made Mattheo choose the songs in the first place. You loved each one of his picks, but the best song by far was the sound of his heartbeat thudding in your ears, syncing with your own as it beat for him and him alone.
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typing-catastrophe · 5 months ago
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could you write a stanford pines x reader headcanon where the reader is an artist and always draws him and draws in his journals when he isnt looking? maybe he talks to the reader about the drawings and they get really flustered i dunno!!! <3
oohhh! yeesss, that's a great idea! thank you anon ^^ hope this is okay, enjoy!
1.2k words, no warnings --------------------------------------------------
Your little habit started out even before Stanford came back. Dipper saw you sketching in your notebook from time to time, and asked you to draw something for him in the journal. He handed it to you and pointed next to a text he'd written about some anomaly (maybe a Manotaur or the Pterodactyl). First you were unsure, how would you feel if someone randomly decided to draw in your sketchbook? But it actually seemed really fun, and you didn't want to disappoint Dipper. Also it was in the spirit of research and preserving observations. And honestly, what were the odds the mysterious author would ever show up again?
With that attitude you began, whenever you got the chance to, to doodle yours and the twins encounters with the countless strange phenomena in gravity falls into the journal.
Well, oops? Seemed like the universe decided that not long after you started doing so, it was the right time for the author to come back.
It wasn't a big deal really, Dipper kept the journal for most of the time and Ford told him that he liked the additions he made. You weren't sure if he only meant the notes Dipper added, or if he even knew that someone else drew the newly added creatures.
It didn't take long for you and Ford to get to know each other better and spend more time together. Literally everything about him was just so fascinating. From the way he talked about his dimensional travels, anomaly hunts and research, his interest in a shared hobby of yours (dd&md), to the way he held himself. And, even if you were a bit embarrassed to admit it, his looks.
You couldn't help it, he was captivating. So to no surprise, one day you found yourself sitting on the shack's porch, looking over at Ford standing in the yard, working away at something that was too bulky for the basement. You didn't even realise what you were doing until something startled you out of your thoughts and you looked down at your sketchbook, seeing a familiar figure on the open page.
And then it happened again, in the lab. He was explaining away, deeply invested in whatever topic he was rambling about, not really taking in his surroundings. You had started out just sketching his study, but somehow he turned out to be the main focus of it.
One evening you found yourself in the living room of the shack. Ford was sitting on the floor, which was almost entirely covered in graph paper. You had joined him while he prepared the next campaign session, the tv quietly proving some background noise. While he was franticly scribbling away sheet after sheet, you propped open your notebook and began sketching some of the characters that came to your mind. Ford's, Dipper's and your characters and some npcs you encountered on your travels. But looming over all of them, half hidden behind the dm-screen, the scheming face of the man before you took his shape.
The end of the evening was rather blurry, you remembered falling asleep on the floor and being carried to bed, half asleep in someone's arms.
"hmm thank you", is all you could mumble when you felt the soft pillow under your head.
"No problem, dear", you heard a deep voice chuckle.
-
When you thought about it the next morning, a smile crept unto your face and you kinda wished, you would've been more awake, so you could've enjoyed the moment properly.
The smile was quickly wiped off though, when you realised that you must've left your sketchbook in the living room, given that Ford probably didn't bring it with him last night. You panicked and jumped out of bed, stumbling to the door when your gaze was caught by something. Your sketchbook, laying on your desk. You exhaled, glad it didn't lay around for anyone to see. You took it into your hands and opened it to the last page you were working on. But instead of the drawing from yesterday evening, only the one before that stared back at you. Confused, you turned the pages a few times, examined it, maybe someone ripped it out? No, no remnants of a torn out page....
Then, it dawned on you. You left your notebook in your room yesterday. You didn't plan on staying or even going to the living room. God knows how you ended up there, but it definitely was without your sketchbook. Which could only mean one thing...
In record time you were out the door, down the hall and in the living room. Right in time to take in the scenery of Ford staring down at his campaign notebook, opened to the page of your drawing.
"Ahh!! No no don't look!", you jumped forward and put your hands over the drawing. Ford furrowed his eyebrows, looking quite puzzled.
"This? Oh I already saw it last night after getting you to bed. It is incredible!"
Your cheeks heated up. "Oh" was all you could utter.
"It was also you who added the depictions of the twin's adventures, right?"
"Uhmm" You didn't keep your passion for drawing a secret, but you also didn't make a big deal out of it. And honestly, the way Ford was always so indulged in his own mind, you didn't think he was paying much attention to what you were doing. Now you felt a bit stupid for believing he wouldn't connect the - admittedly - obvious dots.
"They really are marvellous. And this?", he gestured to yesterdays page "Truly phenomenal!"
You didn't know what to say. You weren't even sure if you could say anything at all. All you felt was blood rushing to the tips of your ears and a flaming hot sensation in your cheeks.
"I- well uhm, thank you", you managed to stutter "I uh, I actually didn't mean to- uhm, use your campaign book. It was a mistake, I'm sorry."
"You've got to be joking! It's the perfect addition!" Ford exclaimed. "Do you mind if I keep it?"
"Oh", his enthusiasm caught you off guard. "I-, I guess not. Actually, that would mean a lot to me." you admitted sheepishly.
"Very well then! Thank you, dear." He looked at you with a fond expression.
You were about to retreat back to your room, turning around ready to leave, when Ford spoke up again, the smile apparent in his voice. "I also liked your artistic rendition of the twins adventures. Anything else you want to show me?" You froze.
Your heart started beating ridiculously fast. Did he knew? Did he notice you staring at him while drawing? Your thoughts started racing, but came to a sudden halt when he leaned down. His lips were almost touching your ear when he started to whisper.
"Maybe another time." And with that he walked by you, leaving you to yourself.
-------------------------------------------------- thank you for reading <3 reblogs are appreciated
a/n: if you want a second part with romance and/or where ford discovers the drawings of him, let me know! Have a nice day/night!
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froggiewrites · 3 months ago
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Under the Light of the Moon
Pairing: Werewolf!Sanji x Reader
NSFW
Summary: When your friend Sanji invites you camping, you can’t say no to his sweet puppy dog eyes. And you can’t deny it’s nice, to get away for a while, to be waited on hand and foot, to see him so excited to share one of his favorite places in the world with you. But when the full moon rises, and he shows you his true self, will you accept the beast as he is? Or will you find yourself trapped in the woods with a monster with no way out? Warnings: AFAB!Reader (no pronouns or gendered language used), Smut, Chase/Hunt, Outdoor Sex, Marking, Biting, Knotting Word Count: 3.4k Notes: The final piece of the event is here! I hope you all enjoyed, I had a lot of fun with each and every single one of these. Thank you all for reading, and happy Halloween!! 🧡 Halloween Special 2024
You didn’t suspect anything at first.
Sure, Sanji was a little strange. He watched you a little too closely, eyes following you wherever you went the moment you were within sight of him. And you often were, as he seemed to show up in your life constantly and repeatedly, almost too often to be a coincidence. He would always stand a little too close, heat radiating off of him, and you could have sworn a couple times you caught him sniffing your hair. Certainly strange. But he was also impossibly sweet, with big puppy dog eyes and a blinding smile, so blinding you missed the sharpened teeth peeking through his lips and the dangerous flash of his eyes.
You liked him, his sweet words and gentle hands. It’s why you agreed so readily to go camping with him when he asked. Normally you would hesitate at being alone in the woods with a man you didn’t know well, but he was so sweet, so hopeful, that you couldn’t help but agree.
“Thank you! You’re going to love it. The stars are so beautiful out there, you just have to see them.” He takes your hands in his, planting a gentle kiss to the knuckles. “Oh, angel, you’ll just adore it. I know you will.”
Some part of you, a part you were more than willing to ignore, whispered that he was a little too enthusiastic. That there was something in his eyes, his voice, that seemed nearly…predatory. But looking at his bright, hopeful smile, you silenced it easily. Not your dear, sweet friend Sanji. Not the man who so clearly worshiped you, adored you. No creature in this world would look at their prey with such affection.
He assures you he’s prepared everything, from your tent to what you’ll eat to your exact schedule. The only thing he doesn’t prepare for you are your clothes, and you think he would have taken over that too if he thought you’d accept it. On the drive over he excitedly rambles about every aspect he thinks you’ll enjoy, about how much he loves these woods and how he just knows you will too. When you arrive, he immediately starts fussing over every little aspect, and absolutely refuses any help.
“No, dear, absolutely not. You’re not going to lift a finger this weekend.” It’s the closest you’ve ever heard his voice get to authority. He leaves absolutely no room for argument, though you certainly try.
“I couldn’t let you do everything by yourself, Sanji–”
“You aren’t letting me do anything. I’m just doing it. Sit down, angel, here.” He gently grabs your shoulders, pushing you gently into one of the folding chairs he’s brought. Before you know it, there’s a snack and drink in your hands, a book placed on your lap, and Sanji has gone back to fussing. He sets up the tent (only one, you can’t help but notice), and he starts pulling dozens of pillows and blankets out of the car, far more than you would have thought could fit. You hear the telltale sound of an air mattress pump, and you can’t help but laugh.
“What could you possibly need all of that for?”
“I just want you to be comfortable, darling!”
“You’re making a whole nest in there!”
He’s silent for just a beat too long. “Haha, only the best for you!”
Despite everything he has, it only takes him about half an hour to set everything up. He’s clearly well practiced. He says he’s spent a lot of time in these woods, his little refuge away from the city and the stresses that come with it. “I hope you’ll enjoy it too, angel. It’s a little slice of heaven, here.”
“I’m sure I’ll love it.”
He lights up with another blinding smile, and you try to ignore the way it makes your heart race. The afternoon is spent simply enjoying each other’s company as he brings you on a beautiful walk through the woods. You don’t talk much, simply enjoying the sounds and sights of nature, and you pretend you don’t notice when he starts drifting closer. By the time you return to camp, your hands are intertwined, and the sun is starting to go down.
“You’re going to love seeing the stars like this. You can barely see any back in town, but out here? It’s like an entirely different night sky.” His smile is boyish and excited, and he lightly squeezes your hand.
“And it’s a full moon tonight, isn’t it? It’ll be cool to see it in its full glory.”
His smile grows wider, a little sharper. “It is. I’m glad you’re excited. You have a lot to look forward to.”
You enjoy your dinner together, and he sticks to your side like glue, leaning closer and closer, practically on top of you by the end of it. His hands rest on your hips, his chin on your shoulder, his breathing slightly heavy. “You alright, Sanji?”
“I’m fine, dear.” You could swear his voice was slightly deeper than normal. “Just happy. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”
A long time? You’d only known each other for a few months. You glance over at him, and for a moment you think you see his eyes not just catch the light of the campfire, but reflect it, glowing a sickly green for just half a second. Your eyes must be playing tricks on you. His hands grip you a little tighter.
“I tried to make it as perfect as possible for you. I really want you to enjoy this as much as I will.” His voice is deeper again, gravely and rough. “I adore you, darling, you know that, don’t you?” He smiles at you again, mouth too full, too sharp, not quite human. You feel a poking at your hips, and you see his nails have grown, pressing into you insistently.
“Sanji?” Your voice is unsure, confused, and he hums quietly, nuzzling against your face.
“Don’t worry, dear. You’re alright, I promise.” His lips brush your cheek, gently at first, then harder and harder. His breath was originally pleasantly warm, but you can feel it growing hot. You stand, and he lets you go, though he whines when you do. When you turn to face him, your breath catches in your throat.
The creature in front of you is not Sanji. This is not the sweet, gentle man who brought you here. His face is elongated, nearly a snout. He’s at least two or three feet taller, his clothes slowly ripping and tearing. For a moment you’re torn between worry for him, whatever is happening to him, and fear for yourself, but when he stands at his full height and takes a step toward you, your self preservation wins out.
You run.
Your heart pounds as your feet stamp against the ground, your clothes catching against the brush. If you were smart, you would have sprinted toward the parking lot, to civilization, but he was standing in the way of that, and frankly, you weren’t thinking straight anyway. You didn’t know what running would do, if anything. You didn’t know what threat he posed, if any. But some part of you, some small, frightened animal, screamed for you to move, so you did.
You can hear footsteps behind you. “Darling?” His voice is almost recognizable, but the next word he tries to speak is choked and cut off in the middle as you hear a sickening cracking of bones setting into place. His voice doesn’t return, but the footsteps grow faster. He’s gaining on you quickly, and no matter how hard you push yourself, you know you’re really only gaining yourself a minute or two more, at best.
Your only advantage is that he seems too large to easily glide between the trees, crashing into branches with every step, howling in pain when he hits a particularly large cluster. It stops him for only a moment, but you take your opportunity to push forward.
You panic when you hit a clearing, illuminated fully by the moonlight. You can hear the pounding of his feet behind you, and you know in this moment without a doubt he is going to catch you. You’re helpless.
The sound of something crashing through the brush echoes behind you, and in an instant you’re on the ground, the slight sting of cuts on your knees almost distracting you from the massive hands on your stomach and forehead. You can see his elbows, now fur covered, bleeding slightly after taking the brunt of his weight in the fall. In your fear it takes you a moment of wondering before you realize why he’s taken such an odd position: he was trying to catch you, ensuring you weren't injured as he caught you. Maybe he isn’t too far gone. Maybe he’s still your sweet Sanji on some level.
“Sanji?” Your voice shakes slightly. “Please let me go.”
He doesn’t speak. You don’t know if he even can. He simply hovers over you, breathing heavily, nearly growling. The hand on your forehead slowly moves lower, tracing your cheek and neck until it reaches your chest. It pauses over your heart, fluttering rapidly beneath his touch, and you swear for a moment he chuckles. He shifts, and you hear the sound of him opening his mouth behind you.
You can feel the saliva dripping from his fangs onto your neck, his hot breath against your skin as he pants. He could wrap those teeth around your throat and snap your neck in an instant if he wanted, leave you limp and alone, body growing cold, in the middle of these woods. How long would it take someone to find you if he lost any more control?
His hands, far too large and tipped with claws that threaten to tear into you at any moment, are caressing your body in a manner you might call gentle, were you not frozen with fear. When he speaks, his voice is several octaves deeper, gravely, and the words come out as though they’re clawing their way out of his throat.
“Mine.”
The hands reach your hips as he presses closer to you and you can feel every inch of him, hard and aching. His chest presses into your back, the soft fur that now covers him gently tickling you, and he whispers again.
“Please. Let me.” He nuzzles against you, cold and wet nose pressing into your neck. “Please. Please. Please.”
His warmth, the soft licks against your skin, his needy cock pressing against your jeans, it all distracts you from the grass and rocks pressing into your knees. You can feel nothing but Sanji, his heart beating so loudly in his chest you can hear it. He ruts against you slightly, and you can’t help the soft moan that escapes from your lips. At the noise, his hips piston again, rubbing precum against the fabric separating you as his teeth gently bite down on your shoulder to try to muffle the growl that escapes him.
“Please. Angel. Mine.” Every word is a fight against his instincts, but even with every part of him screaming to take, he insists on asking. His teeth nip at you again before his tongue gently soothes the spot, the closest thing to a kiss he can give you. “Need you.”
Your breathing is shaky as you try not to make it obvious how much he has affected you. You’ve always been attracted to him, and you’re embarrassed to admit the sharp teeth and claws have only made some part of you want him more. Something about him being so primal, not just wanting but needing you, it’s summoned something in you, something that almost makes you want to let him rip your clothes off and take you here on the ground. You’re clinging to the small bit of rationality that knows the chances of you leaving this encounter safely are slim, even as your cunt is dripping enough to start soaking through your pants, even as you feel him take a deep breath and know he can smell it. “Sanji, please,” you try to ignore the needy whine in your voice, “I can’t. We can’t.”
His nose leaves your neck to take a quick whiff of the air, before his breathing is heavier than ever in your ear, his cock once again rutting against your clothed cunt. “You want.” It isn’t a question, but a statement.
“I don’t–ah!” You let out a pathetic whine when you feel the fabric of your panties rub against your clit in just the right way, and his hands tighten against your hips.
“You do. Please.”
You try to cling to logic, to rationality, to humanity, but you can feel it rapidly slipping through your fingers as you lose yourself to the heat in the air, to the pathetic begging of a monster that could so easily just take what he wanted. You can hardly even remember your concerns as you feel him press against you, desperate and wanting, and you can think of nothing but how he would feel inside of you. Would it be so wrong to give in? To be his? Maybe you are already, marked on some level you didn’t understand.
He doesn’t say anything else, simply whining and groaning in your ear, but you can feel his honest plea in your heart. “Okay, Sanji. Take me.”
His claws rip through your jeans in an instant, the scraps of fabric falling to the ground in an instant. Your shirt follows not long after, as he takes a moment to grasp your tits in his hands, growling at the feeling. You can feel the point of his claws pressing against your rib cage, gentle but a reminder of his strength, of the brutality he’s capable of. He licks up the length of your neck, reveling in the taste of your sweat from the previous chase. “Thank you.”
His hands leave your breasts as he quickly rips off your panties, and you finally feel his length pressing against your entrance without obstruction. He’s massive, larger than you’ve ever taken, than you’ve ever imagined him to be. You fear he might rip you in two. You almost hope for it.
He begins slowly, his tip slowly creeping in, before his instincts finally take over and he loses himself, thrusting his entire length into you at once. You cry out at the sensation, feeling totally and completely full of him, your mind nothing but a continued cry of Sanji, Sanji, Sanji. He moans at the feeling of you clenching around him, at the feeling of him finally filling you as he has so desperately craved. At finally being able to have what’s his.
He relishes in the feeling for a second, his hand coming down to your stomach to press down, forcing you both to feel just how deeply he’s filled you, how perfectly you two fit together, like this was meant to be. Like everything in your lives has been leading you to this moment, to you being split in two under a full moon, finally feeling as though you’ve fulfilled your purpose in life, your fate. Like you two were born for nothing but each other.
He pulls out, and you cry out from the feeling of loss, before he plunges back in in an instant, then again, then again. With every thrust you can feel every inch of him dragging against your walls, forcing you forward into the ground. His weight is nearly crushing you, every inch of your back pressing into his fur, the only thing stopping you from being crushed into the ground entirely is his monstrous hands holding you to him, one on your stomach, the other pulling your hips furiously back into his. 
He tries to speak, but the only thing that comes out is the same insistent growl. “Mine. Mine. Mine.” He holds you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters, like you’re the only thing that has ever and will ever matter. His teeth keep leaving insistent bites against your shoulders and neck, hard enough to mark but never hard enough to hurt. Not an attack, not an act of predator to prey, but an act of devotion. Of ownership. Of mating.
You try to say something, some plea for mercy, or perhaps some plea for more, but instead you find yourself crying, “Yours. Yes, yours! Yours!” The sound of skin meeting skin fills the clearing, the sound bringing a blush to your face despite how lost you are in the pleasure of it all. The sound is so depraved, combining with Sanji’s animalistic growls and groans, making the entire space feel primal and raw in a way you’ve never felt before. You’re operating on pure instinct, your brain having long since abandoned you, leaving your weeping cunt and lustful heart to guide you.
Sanji’s claws dig into your thighs as he pushes you forward and spreads your legs impossibly wider, staring directly at the spot his body meets with yours, entranced by the sight of your small form taking his massive cock. By all logic, you shouldn’t be able to take him, but here you are, impossibly stretched around him, crying and keening with every move he makes. You’re perfectly made for him, ready and wanting for something you didn’t know you needed until tonight. He knew the moment he saw you that you were born to be his, and he was born to be yours. He’s never known a bliss like this, as he spears you yet again, and you let out the cutest strangled noise of pleasure. 
He can feel you clench around him, your climax rising, and he can't help the grin that stretches across his face as he presses his muzzle back into your neck. He would do nearly anything to see your face right now, wanton and wanting, but he’ll have plenty of time for that later. Right now all he can focus on is ensuring you ride your high out on him, ensuring your legs are still spread and ready once he finally is able to truly fill you up and make you his.
You can feel your entire body tense in preparation as Sanji thrusts into you one last time, and the dam finally breaks as you clench around him. You can feel something swell inside you as you clench around him, feel the movement of his hips begin to still as he spills into you. He’s panting heavily, a quiet whine emerging from his throat at the feeling of you around him. You expect to fall to the ground as he begins to pull back and stand up, but instead you find he is flopping forward, pressing you into the ground beneath you with his full weight. There is something large and round inside of you, holding you together, holding his cum inside. You squirm your hips slightly, but it doesn’t move, and neither do you, trapped against him.
“Sanji?”
His arms wrap fully around you as he rests his nose in your neck, breathing heavily. A soft whine leaves his throat when you try to move again, and he gently nips at your neck in admonishment. “Stay.”
You feel impossibly full, stretched to the brim. You think for a moment on the risk this poses, being fucked full of cum on the forest floor, and you clench around his knot despite yourself. You really feel like an animal, like you’ve been staked and claimed, and somehow it feels terribly right. Like you were meant to be here. So you don’t squirm or struggle, trying to maintain some of your dignity by pulling yourself out of the dirt. Later he will pick you up, lick you clean, and gently carry you back to your campsite, to be safely tucked away in his tent, curled among the pillows and blankets he has prepared for you. But for now you simply lay here, pinned underneath him, intertwined for however long his body demands it. There’s no use fighting fate.
Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece @shy-writer-999 @saturogojosgirl @dreamcastgirl99
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peachidin · 17 days ago
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Crawlin' back to you
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Maybe I’m too busy being yours, to fall for someone new.
Poe Dameron x f!reader
Rated M- 5.7k
Divider by @/saradika
tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, use of nickname "Blue" for reader, strong language, physical fight (not with MMC), cheating (not by MMC or FMC), rival pilots, unprotected piv, cream pie, praise kink, yearning Poe, ass smacking, hair pulling, we love a reader in charge!
Authors Note: Hello! As I was writing this story, "We could be together, if you wanted to" has gained some traction, so thank you all for liking my work! This idea of a yearning and pining Poe hit me, so I had to make it happen. For context, in this story there are three squadrons with order importance, Black squad, Red Squadron and Blue Squadron. Black and Red squad work on high importance missions and are ranked 'higher' than Blue Squad, which leads you, dear reader, to the story! I hope you enjoy "Crawlin back to you" as it is spicier than the others, and I hope to update "On the run (with you)" soon! As usual, I haven't reread this, I just post and hope for the best. I hope you enjoy!
Thank you!
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It was only meant to be a one time thing. 
A one time thing a month ago.
You gasp as Poe’s lips attach to yours with fervor, his tongue sliding parting your lips as his hands roam underneath your long sleeve. Your legs wrap around his waist tightly, making it oh so easy to arch yourself against the growing hardness in his pants as presses you harder into the wall of his room.
Allegedly, Poe Dameron never spent the night more than once with a lover. 
This was the third time this week you've met. 
He pulls back, gasping for air before his lips attach to your neck, licking and sucking that sweet spot below your ear so harshly you almost came on the spot. 
“Poe, wait-” 
He pulls back immediately, his lust darkened eyes meeting yours eagerly. “What is it, baby?” He hums, rubbing his thumbs on the soft skin of your thighs as he waits for, honestly, anything you want.
You smile, shaking your head as your hands thread through the soft curls on his head. This was a dangerous game, you realized. He was someone you couldn't have, no matter how addictive he was.
“I have a flight maneuver early tomorrow, I should head back to my room.” You reply back, letting your fingers drift towards the hot skin of his neck one final team before lowering them  to his chest, patting it gently. His hands gave you one last squeeze before he lowered you to the floor, taking a few seconds to pull your shirt down to where it normally sat. 
He was sweet.
It was dangerous.
Poe smiles softly, almost bashfully, “Wouldn't want you to miss out on sleep.” He agrees, but his hand still lingers on your waist. One word and you could have another night of pleasure.
You nod, gently stepping away from him and gathering your pants from off the floor, quickly stepping into them as you move around his room to collect your few belongings. “I promise I didn't come here just for this, I swear I had an actual question-” You begin to ramble, suddenly feeling the need to explain yourself, why you showed up so late. 
Maker, you have never acted like this before.
Poe shakes his head, moving to sit on his bed as he watches you move through his space. “It’s fine, I’m always glad to be of service to you.” He grins good naturedly, not a trace of sarcasm escaping him. You pause in front of him, mouth opening to say anything to relieve this tension between you both. 
You come up empty.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” You say softly, giving him a small wave, as if this man were just some regular pilot and not the man who gave you back to back orgasms just the night before. Poe chuckles softly, his head dropping forward before he begins to stand up, joining your side as you both move towards the door. 
“Sure, Blue.” He responds softly, and you can feel his hand lingering on the small of your back as you step out of his room, the sensation burning into your skin as his touch so often did. You turn around to face him, to try and explain the visit again, but his eyes are already locked onto yours and stealing any words you could have formed from your mouth. The air between you was thick, electricity striking your body with every noise coming from around you in the living quarters. Poe bites his lip as he raises a hand to your face as if to cup your cheek, the motion so quick you barely had time to close your eyes before a small flick hits the end of your noise.
You let out a shocked gasp as he laughs.“Be safe tomorrow, okay? Don't do anything stupid like you usually do when you get stressed.” The bedroom door slides to a close before your eyes even open again. A huff of irritation leaves your lips at his childishness, but you can't help the smile on your face as you take the long walk back to your own quarters. Even within your living space, there was no tie to the man. His room is filled with posters and plans strewn about his floors. The thick smell of cologne that almost seemed to hover like its own atmosphere. His room was so like him, warm, well lived, and well loved. Your room was bare boned. A bed and desk. Stacks of files for missions and maps coordinating future attacks organized by dates on your dining table. Straightlaced and to the point. This was who you both were. Two entities that orbited around one another but never should have met.
This was how it should have stayed.
The admired Black Squadron leader.
The calculated Blue Squadron leader.
The Blue Squadron was only a few achievements short of being on equal par with your fellow Squadrons. Poe and the Black Squadron were the primary team for any rebellion led missions, Red following as second in command. Today was your first chance of the year to prove to the general your squad was more than capable of handling complex missions, to be given the same opportunities as the Black and Red Squadrons. Your team was ready, you had been practicing for months now, and you felt it was now or never to prove to the rebellion what an asset Blue Squadron is.
And you blew it.
It was a standard attack formation, one you had prepped for so many times before. One you could do in your sleep. Your fingers moved robotically as you adjusted your coordinates, your team flying perfectly behind you. Your hand skims over the edge of the tiller, and before you realize it, your mind is drawn back into a memory of the other night.
Poe lying beneath you, his chest heaving as he bites his knuckles, your hand squeezing at his length with nervousness as you tried to sink yourself down onto him. “You couldnt mess this up if you tried, baby.” He had said to you, his hand resting on the back of your neck as you moved hesitantly against him. 
“I don't know, he didn't think I was good at this-” Your words are cut off as his lips sear into yours, his hand threading through your hair to crush your face to his. Your muffled gasp is replaced by a small moan as he sheaths himself into you, already hitting that sweet spot with ease.
“I dont give a fuck what he thought, youre perfect, Blue.” He had hissed, bucking his hips up harshly to draw out another whimper from you.”Say it.” Poe demands, gripping your hips as he plows into you from below, your hands holding onto his shoulders tightly as you nod.
“I’m perfect,” You whisper, trying to muffle your cries against his neck as the sound of your skin connecting reverberated through his quarters. Poe moans in encouragement and you have the desire to bottle up that sound for yourself. 
“Fuck yes, y-your perfect baby, so perfect for me-” He gasps, his thrusts becoming sloppy as his breath begins to come out in shorter spurts. Poe leans forward, pressing hot kisses along your chest, biting into the soft flesh of your breasts. You cry out louder, your climax nearing at a rapid pace as he pounds into you.
“P-Poe, please-”
“Please what baby, where do you want me?”
Another thrust has your vision darkening, a buzz sounding in your ear as he fucks into you harder. It was stupid. This wasn't meant to happen again. Not after the first time. But you were always a sucker for complexities. You brush your lips against his jaw, kissing messily along his skin before whispering into his ear.
“I want you to finish in me, I want you to be the first.”
If Poe wasn't gone before, he was now. His thrusts grew harsher, his fingers bruising your hips as he slams into you, mumbling incoherently. “Fuck, you want me to cum in you so bad, my perfect girl-” He groans, moving one of his hands to your slick folds to rub hard and fast against you. A sharp scream leaves your throat and you topple against his chest, your body pulsing around him tightly as you reach your orgasm. You can feel the last few thrusts before hot spurts coat your insides, Poe whimpering as his head falls against your shoulder, his back heaving as he tries to catch his breath. You tilt your head back. Your eyes glazed over with satisfaction as you both ride out your high together. You let out a little laugh and his hand quickly smacks your ass, Poe’s muffled voice coming from below you.
“I’m sensitive, you sadist.” He growls, and now you can't help the tumble of laughter pouring out from you. Poe lifted his head to glare up at you, but in that moment, your smile was so bright he couldn't help but chuckle along with you.
You shake the memory from your head, your squadron already approaching the final bend sooner than you anticipated.
“Focus, Blue, focus.” You whisper to yourself, watching your squad carefully as you begin your turn. It was sharp, but even a rookie could get through this, and you soar through it with ease. Next was more difficult, but you had practiced, you knew the formation like the back of your hand by now. You carefully lock your X-wing in, breathing out slowly as you wait for the harsher turn. The mind was always so fickle, that's why you preferred equations and plans. You could feel yourself slipping back into that same memory, a heat pooling in your lower belly. Then you hear that maker's damned voice once more.
“One more baby, give me one more.-”
“My sweet girl, taking me so perfectly-”
“I could stay in you forever-”
A hard jolt shoved you deeper into your seat, your X-wing began losing altitude. Your squad's voices blaring through your comms, overwhelming your mind as you tried to straighten your ship. 
“Squad leader-”
“You’ve been hit!”
“Land now-”
And as if your ego couldn't take enough of it, that same voice from your mind rings out, but this time unfortunately through your headset like the others.
“What the hell are you doing, Blue?!”
Your teeth grind together as you pull yourself back into place, barely registering the sound of the flight tower calling your squadron back to base. Everyone was down there. Everyone had seen. 
Cold sweat began to drip down your neck as you carefully took the time to land your X-wing, mechanics quickly running over to assess the damage to the outside exterior. You huff as you climb down the ladder, shaking your hair out of your hemet and relishing in the open air as you struggle to take deep breaths. You can hear your crew clambering to get to you, and you can hear their questions already.
What happened?
What happened?
What happened?
“Blue, what happened?”
Your eyes snap up to meet those soft brown ones you had come to know so well. Poe was gripping your shoulders tightly, his fingers digging into you whether he noticed or not. Your relief at seeing him was short lived as you remembered just why you crashed. 
“I’m fine, Dameron.” You snap, shaking his hands off of you. Poe looks at you first with worry, then agitation. 
“Obviously you're not fine, Blue. You could do this course in your sleep and you crashed!” He hisses, clenching his hands at his side. You frown, and begin to respond before another set of hands grip your shoulder. You only needed one look at Poe's glowering face to know who it was. One you had done so well at avoiding until now.
Red One.
Poe's second in command.
“Hey, what happened up there? You okay?” He asks quickly, his eyes raking over your appearance.You force a smile, brushing him off with ease. 
“Honest mistake, I was-” Your eyes flickered to Poes before returning to the helmet in your hand, “I was just distracted was all.” 
Red One was born on a planet near yours, the commonality making you both acquaintances in flight school. You both studied vigorously, and desired high marks, yet somehow both of you were always beaten by the one named Poe Dameron. The three of you grew and eventually joined the rebellion, him and Dameron taking over the Black and Red Squadron while you were assigned Blue. Despite the large amount of rebellion members, it was easy for you to drift back to him, the reassurance of something familiar in your life. While Poe was off gallivanting with his squadron across the galaxy, you both worked together on unit tactics. It wasn't long before you both began to reach for one another, quick meaningless acts of pleasure when it was needed. It was easy for it to mean nothing to you, because you both knew this wasn't forever, but at least you had one another.
It worked then.
Until Poe came around again. 
Poe was always smart, but he was also warm, and charismatic. People were drawn to him like the sun, wanting a chance to feel that splendor for themselves. Despite the fact everyone wanted to be around him, after a recent 5 month journey he had decided to follow only you around aimlessly. 
“Dameron, don't you have someone else to bother?” You muttered, clutching new plans from the general tightly to your chest. Poe walked behind you with a grin, his hands carelessly tucked into his jacket pockets as he kept up with you.
“When was it a rule that I couldn't spend time with a fellow squadron leader?” He retorts, gently nudging your shoulder with his own. You let out an exhausted sigh, rounding the hallway corner into the row of living quarters right before yours. Maybe you thought you could evade him, you weren't sure, but what you didn't expect was the door nearest you to slide open with a smooth hiss, giving you a clear look into the room. You stop so abruptly Poe barely had time to avoid colliding with your back. 
“What the fuck, Blue-” He complains before glancing down to your face. Your eyes stared blankly into the room, one you had become very familiar with over the years.
Red One’s, now occupied by the pilot himself and a mechanic you recognized from the Droid depot, clothes littering the floor as they cling to each other near the door. Red One's eyes widen and he curses, fumbling around to slip back into his flight suit. 
Now normally, Poe would make a sly comment, or laugh off the awkwardness with ease. But he couldn't. Not when he saw the expression you were making. Despite his games and jokes, he knew you well. Poes fist tightened as he stalked into the room, shoving Red One back a step. “Now, why the fuck would you do this?” He growls darkly, his brown eyes darkening with rage. You weren't sure if you have ever seen Poe like this, not even after a failed mission. Poe never resorted to violence. Never.
You move quickly, stumbling forward to grab onto his arm, tugging him back. “It's fine Poe, it's not that serious-”
“Not that serious? He had the best damn pilot in the rebellion and it wasn't serious to him?” His words make you pause, heat rushing to your cheeks as you tighten your hand on Poe's arm, giving him one last tug. 
“Blue, I can explain-”
“It's fine Red, we're going now.” You respond calmly, carefully dragging Poe out of the room until the door can slide shut. Poe tugs you along swiftly moving down hall after hall until you recognize the path to your own living space. Your hand was still on Poe’s arm, and you could feel his body shaking underneath. 
“Poe, it’s fine-” 
“How long were you two together?” He asks, his tone softer now than it was previously. You glanced up at him, his brown eyes soft once more as they bore down into your own. You blink quickly, thinking of just how many months it had been. 
“Since our first mission to Nevarro.” You answer honestly, and you don't know what to think about the string of curses that leave his lips. “Why does it matter, Poe? It was just a fling-”
“Was it just a fling to you?” He asks suddenly, his gaze hot and piercing. You try to answer, to conjure up some response, but all you can do is shake your head. “We both got what he wanted, and I'm actually surprised he waited this long to find someone else.”
 The look of anger that flashes across his face has your brows furrowing, unsure of why it bothered him so deeply. You open your mouth to speak again before Poe lets out a deep sigh, turning to face you fully as his back rests against the metal wall. His hand reaches up slowly, gently touching the soft skin of your cheek. 
“Still, are you okay?” He asks in a gravelled tone, continuing to stroke your skin with small movements. His touch was far different from Reds, you quickly realized. Red touched you briskly, his hand roaming over your body as if you would disappear. 
Poe touched you with reverence. He kept his movements small, keeping contact with your skin as if you were his center of gravity. “He's an idiot, Blue, you can do so much better than him. He can't even coordinate a landing path to Jakku without using a droid.” A surprised laugh tumbles past your lips, pleasing Poe as he stares down at you. 
“And you can't fly a straight shot to Crait even if you tried.” You shoot back, a smile still tugging at your lips. Poe’s eyes soften as you laugh before him, your usual icy exterior melting away to that young pilot he once knew so many years ago. He takes a breath, biting his lip before he speaks in a soft whisper. “I would have made you my second, if it was my choice.”
You can't control the deep flush that rush to your cheeks as you hear him. “Red is a good second in command, I still have a lot to learn-”
“You think I don't know who drafts our tactile formations? I could practically see you solving the broken flight patterns while reading them.” His voice grows more firm, demanding you to accept his praise. “I can only be a good leader with someone like you supporting me, and I'm sorry they don't realize it yet.” 
You don't cry. You don’t even cry as Poe leans in closer to you, his hand cupping your cheek as he coos words of praise to you in the dimly lit hallway. Red never acknowledged the work you did, smooth talking his way into putting his name on the plans alongside yours. You would shrug it off, under the impression if one Squadron succeeds surely the other would too. This never changed even when he began to take more missions farther out into the galaxy, while you and your squad stayed back, waiting for the chance to chart your own paths.
The truth now laid out so plainly in front of you.
You had been used.
What did you want? Had you wanted Red to choose you? Only you? Did you ever even think you would have options?
Your hands tighten into fists, sharp pain shooting through your hands. Poe pulls back with a lazy smile on his face, but it quickly falters as he sees the scowl etched onto your face. “Hey what's wrong Blue, did I overstep? I’m sorry-”
“I want you to fuck me.”
Poe's mouth hangs open as your words hit his ears, sending palpitations straight to his chest. “You want me to…”
“I want you to fuck me, yes.”
Poe can't help but chuckle as he shakes his head, his hand covering his face as he inhales deeply. “You don't want that, Blue, you're just mad and understandably so-”
“I am choosing this, Poe Dameron, I am choosing you to make me feel something. I know it's just a one time thing with you, I want one night”
Well, now this was an interesting statement. 
This he could work with. 
Poe tries to quell the smile tugging at his lips as he leans back, knocking his fingers on the cool metal wall as if it could cool down the heat racing through him. “Just one? I'm afraid you'll end up wanting more, Blue.” He murmurs, taking the chance to glance back down at you. Your eyes meet his, fiery and unwavering. Maker, you meant it. Poe tried to stifle the groan threatening to spill out of him.
“One night, I just want one night.” You promise, stepping in even closer to him. With one deep breath, your chest would rub against his, and you tried to ignore the shaky breaths emitting from the man before you. 
“But I want to set some ground rules first.” You say in a soft voice, moving your hand so it begins to trail up his arm. Poe can only nod as he stared down at you, captivated by your movements. 
“This happens in your room, I don't need you making a mess of my space.” Poe can't help the snort that leaves his mouth, but he nods his head anyways. “Two, I want to be in charge.” You were proud of how little your voice wavered as you spoke, “I get to decide how this goes.” 
Your words make Poe's jaw twitch. How often did you get what you wanted with Red?
“I promise I will be your devoted servant.” He agrees, reaching for your hand and pulling it to his lips, placing a slow and sensual kiss on your pulse. 
Maker, this was going to be harder than you thought. 
“This is a one time thing, we don’t acknowledge it after, and we dont let it change our working relationship.” 
Poe's throat only constricts a little before he nods, “Of course.” He drops your hand gently, waiting for you.
Now Poes stares at you with a burning look in his gaze, his jaw clenched as he stares between you and Red One. 
“Distracted? Blue, you could have hurt yourself.” He hisses, running a hand through his hair in an irritated manner. You frown, noticing the crowd gathering around you all now. 
“It was a mistake, a stupid one, but I’m fine-”
“Maybe if you weren't so busy sleeping with our Squad leader you wouldn't have messed up.” The insult stabs through your chest. You turn slowly to face Red One, a grim look on his face as he sighs before continuing, “I really thought you were smarter than this Blue, you really couldn't wait for me to explain what happened before you just moved on to the next available guy who would fuck you-”
You honestly aren't sure who moved first. One minute your hearing began to ring, your heart thundering in your chest, and then here you were, standing over a bleeding Red. Your fist felt like it was on fire but honestly, you didn't care. Then you feel Poe’s arms wrap around your waist, tugging you back as people begin to shout, surging in to watch the scene. 
“All those years I spent underneath you were absolute shit compared to what Poe’s made me feel in one month-” You spit out, years of rage boiling over as you watch Red sit up, his hand shakily touching the blood pouring out of his nose. “And I hope you can prove you know how to draft a mission plan because I’m going first thing tomorrow to get your name removed from all of my work, my work.” You seeth, tugging against Poe's grip one last time. You can feel his face near yours, his nose gently running along your cheek as he squeezes your arms gently. “Let's get out of here, Blue.” He whispers, and you nod, giving Red one last glare before moving through the parting crowd. You swear you can almost hear cheers as you and Poe enter the flight squads quarters, shutting yourself off from the rest of the world. 
You feel yourself enter a room, and you finally feel the world unblurring as you realize Poe brought you back to your own quarters. You can feel him gently pull at your clothes, removing your flight suit with great care, reaching into your drawers to find some comfortable clothes he slips onto your body without an ounce of alternative means. A sudden hiss leaves your lips as he bumps his hand against your injured one, and he quickly moves you to your bed. He curses before you, kneeling between your legs as he tentatively grabs your hand, assessing the broken skin on your knuckles. 
“Shit baby, you got him good.” He smiles, taking a clean rage and gently dabbing at the bloodied wounds. You wince and he immediately pulls back, waiting for you to let him continue. 
“I shouldn't have hit him,” you mumble, biting your lip as he hits another painful spot, “I’ll probably get written up.” 
Poe snorts, shaking his head. “I dont it won't be any worse than what he's gonna get. Plagiarizing plans? Falsifying records? He's lucky if the general even lets him get drinks for us.” You can't help the laugh that tumbles out of your throat, nodding along to his words. He quickly wraps your hand in a simple bandage, just tight enough to keep your hand from throbbing. You meet Poe’s gaze as he looks up at you, crouched between your legs with a serene look on his face. 
“What?” you ask softly, gripping your sheets with your other hand. Poe just shakes his head, “So, I've given you a better month than he could in years?” 
You groan as you drop your head to his shoulder, embarrassment flooding your senses. “I didn't mean to say that in front of everyone.” Poe just laughs, letting his hands run up and along your thighs. 
“It was pretty hot to see you claim me in front of everyone like that, baby.” He smiles, gently using his hands to lift your face so he can look at you. You flush brightly, your eyes unable to look anywhere else but his gaze. “Im sorry, I'm sure that was uncomfortable for you-”
 Poe shakes his head, his nose brushing along yours. “You still don't get it, huh?” Before you can speak again he pushes the two of you up and back, laying you down onto your bed as he hovers over you. “I want to be yours, Blue, I think in some way I always have been.” He says softly, intertwining your hands together as he presses them beside your head. “I've slept with people, yes, but none could get you off my mind.” His lips gently trail down your neck, biting and kissing at your skin. You gasp, your body reacting so easily for him. “You were always there, since flight school, in my mind, always competing with me. Then I leave, and I come back to tell you-” He carefully slips his hand under the edge of your shirt, feeling your skin with a gentle touch. 
As if he can't believe this is still happening.
“I come back and see you look at him like that, and I would have supported you baby I would have, but-” He hisses as your body arches against him, brushing together as heat begins to flood your body. “Lucky for me he was an idiot.” Is all Poe can say as you crash your lips to his, gripping his jaw tightly as you angle him in closer to deepen the kiss. “Fuck, I can only ever think about you Blue-” He gasps as your hand trails in between you, running your fingers along the seams of his length. “I only want to think about you, I want to be yours forever-” He rambles on, your hand moving rhythmically against him as you listen to him beg. His words fill your chest as he speaks, so plainly yet undoubtedly true. 
“Poe?” You say softly, watching as his eyes open to find yours, dark and glazed over with lust, but his attention undivided. You smile softly, only slowing your movements ever so slightly as you take a breath to speak. “I'm yours.” You whisper softly, your smile widening as you see his eyes begin to water. You gasp as you tugged up, pressed against his chest as he buries his face into your neck, holding you impossibly tight. 
“Fuck, Blue, I almost didn’t last when I heard you say that.” Poe grumbles, and you laugh loudly as your hands pull his hips to yours. 
“We're just getting started, Dameron, I can't have you tapping out so early.” You grin, letting your hands snake up the bros expanse of his back to caress his head. An idea strikes you as you hold on to one another, your hands running along the carved muscles of his body. 
“Poe?” You ask softly, turning your head to look at him as he pulls back slightly from your neck. “Can we try something?” 
His smile is lethal. 
“How do you want me, baby?”
You carefully pull back from his embrace, eyeing him playfully as you turn onto your hands and knees, movings towards the headboard with a sway to your hips, Poe’s eyes practically glow with desire, and you feel his hand run along your spine, gripping your hips dangerously before you grab onto the headboard, arching yourself against him. You can feel his chest contracting behind you, his hands moving to your hips instinctively. You loved this, feeling so crowded by his body and scent.
Poe wasted no time in shucking down your pants, tilting your head to meet his lips in a fiery kiss as the cool air of your room blows against your exposed lower body. You reach a hand behind you, finding the edge to his pants and working to pull them down, releasing his cock between the both of you. 
With a practiced precision, Poe sheathes himself into you, a satisfied gasp leaving your lips. You can already feel the headboard creaking under your grasp, but you don't care.
“Shit, baby, I'm not gonna last long-” He pants, kissing your neck while giving you another small thrust. He leaves one hand on your waist as the other snakes to your slick folds, teasing you gently as you let out another moan. “I don’t care, just fuck me Poe, please-” You whine out, pushing yourself against him with need. You gasp as you feel a sharp slap to your clit, only making you infinitely wetter. 
“I’m going to take my time fucking my girl.” He growls, and pulls you in for another thrust. Your face turns towards the board, hot pants of air escaping you as he thrust into you from below, perfectly hitting that spot within you that makes your toes curl with pleasure. He leans forward, wrapping a hand over yours as he fucks you into the headboard, his other hand tightening on your hip as he slams into you.
“My beautiful girl, so wet for me. Do you like making me so hungry for you? Driving me wild seeing you so lost in pleasure? Absolutely drenching my cock?” His words almost send you over the edge alone, only capable of giving him a choked sob in reply. 
He fucks into you mercilessly, grinding himself against you with every thrust, his own orgasm approaching as quickly as yours. “Fuck, baby, you were made for me, never gonna let you go-” You feel him shake as he begins to unload into you, his hand rubbing tirelessly over your clit and quickly sending you over the edge into your own pleasure. 
“Fuck!”  You cry out, shaking as he continues to thrust into you, emptying himself entirely. The room is filled with pants as you both lean against each other, your hands trembling as you use the headboard to hold yourself up. You feel so impossibly full. You shift gently, feeling his body tense behind you as his head rests in the crook of your neck. 
“Still with me, Dameron?” You smile, turning your head to gently press a kiss to his temple. You can feel him smile against your skin, placing his own soft kiss on your shoulder. “Always, baby.” He whispers back softly, lifting his head to gaze at you with pure adoration. You eventually separate, slinking down into your bed wrapped in each other's embrace. Any other clothes were shed, the need for urgency long behind you both as you tak in these moments of being utterly at peace. 
You rest your head on his chest, your eyes drifting close as you listen to the steady beat of his heart. “Poe?” you ask softly, running your hand along his sternum. You can feel him shift, knowing he was looking down at you.
“Yeah, sweet girl?” He asks gently, running a hand through your hair and you swear you are in heaven. 
“When did you realize you liked me? You…we, we’ve just been together for so long and I never realized.” You ask, turning your head up to look at him easier. Poe smiles, so easy and carefree, and just shrugs. 
“Maybe always?” 
You swat at his chest, a chuckle rumbling in him as he grabs your hand, pressing a kiss to your pulse. “Be serious!” You scold, but the smile on your face tells him all he needs to know.
“I am serious. It was always you.”
Your smile only grows softer as you listen to him, your hand continuing to rub small circles onto his skin. “I’m sorry I took so long to realize it.” You whisper to him, reaching up to rub his jaw. Poe grins and moves over you, flipping you both until he rests on top of you. He surges forward,  kissing you as if you had all the time in this world. You both stay close, his nose brushing against yours as you gaze into each other's eyes. Poe speaks, whispering into your ear, and you know he means it.
“I would have waited forever for you”
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