#your comments basically made me say good. my job is done here i fulfilled the tropes enough for someone to notice JASHHSHSHAHS /POS

[jils-things]

Trademark in ur ships (and inserts) is definitely smth along the lines of naturecore!!

Your inserts always rock the green palette one way or another, and sometimes have the clover theme if possible. Your self ships usually have a theme around the outdoors or overall nature (appleshipping with apples, memoryshipping with rocks /pos, etc.)

ALSO, this is probably rlly general but I just rlly like how despite the prim and proper appearance your self ships can have, they also have their moments where it's really goofy and silly which lessens the intimidating look and makes it seem more fun!!

oh gosh now that i think about naturecore - jaide stone is quite literally an aprijuice merchant and they're fruits 😔😔 yes i am the naturecore girl real real. i always grab a lot of leafy/green based names too so you're quite right there euhehe

AND THE LAST ONE AHHH I TAKE FULL PRIDE ON THAT I REALLY DO one thing i make sure all my ships have is comedy because the silly and foolish behavior is what really brings out a character (and by bringing them out of their comfort zone, there's so many ways you can interpret their new behavior hehe) so im very happy this stuck out to you! i can only imagine memoryshipping has a lot of effect here because i like making steven not-so-elegant for funsies hehe

[rookrecurring]

I don’t know where you’re at with this question or how often you’ve been asked it, but how are you doing these days? What have you been up to? I did a triple take when you started posting again and it’s good to see your art again! I hope you’ve been well.

—longtime RMR fan

Hi! This is such a kind message, I appreciate you checking in. I feel like I've been offline for so long that I'm always surprised to hear anyone remembers me or Red Moon Rising at all, haha. I've received a few emails here and there from former readers over the years which I've replied to, but I think it's probably time to say something more public in case anyone else has similar questions.

I tried and completely failed to keep this concise - sorry for rambling all over your relatively simple ask, but the long and short of it is: I'm doing pretty ok! Life is confusing and difficult! More under the cut!

In all honesty, I burned out very badly while working on Red Moon Rising. The tipping point unfortunately coincided with the Kickstarter for the print version (way back in 2017), but in retrospect it was a long time coming.

Shocking no-one, webcomics basically pay nothing and I was treating it as a job on top of the commission and freelance work I was paying the bills with, and in the end it just kind of crushed me. I became very overwhelmed with the work required to get the comic ready for print in the time that followed, so I never quite gave myself space to recover from the burnout because I felt such an obligation to fulfill the Kickstarter - people had paid good money for this and I wanted them to receive the books they had been promised.

The good news these days is that the Kickstarter is more or less all the way there. My publisher has been an absolute saint this entire time, checking in with me about the work without ever being demanding or pushy, and a few months ago a box arrived at my flat with all three volumes (consisting of the first 300-ish pages) of Red Moon Rising in print.

It's hard to be ecstatic after such a tiring journey to put it all together, but I'm proud of what we made. I can't overstate what a great job I think my publisher has done and how kind they've been to me - they received a lot of flak from people about the massive delays and never once threw me under the bus or pressured me to work harder or faster.

Regarding RMR's future: the website is currently down, but it shouldn't be for long. I've had some help from a friend recently (a recurring trend that I'm very grateful for) and the site should be back online soon more or less as it was. Pages, commentary, comments, everything.

However, the comic will remain on semi-permanent hiatus - never say never, but for the moment I've moved on.

I'm sure this isn't a surprise considering the last page was posted six years ago, but I hope it's not too disappointing for anyone. I always thought I would come back to it sooner or later, but I still feel like I need some space.

-

On an even more personal note, it's been a crazy few years. I think everyone has had a difficult time recently what with the… well, everything. I've been through a lot of health problems, some very difficult housing and financial situations, and I also came out as gay and asexual to my friends and family, and now to anyone who happens to be reading this.

Fortunately I have no horror stories regarding this last point, everyone around me has been beyond supportive and kind. I think the main takeaway I have from this period of my life is how amazing my friends are. I could probably fill this post to the character limit talking about the lovely people in my life and the numerous kind things they've done for me. I'm in a very good place right now thanks to them.

So in a post-Kickstarter, post-RMR world I'm at a bit of crossroads these days. I feel like my burnout has finally more or less faded and I've quietly been up to all sorts of small things.

I spent a lot of this year learning Japanese to an intermediate level (mostly through watching hundreds of episodes of Super Sentai shows in pure Japanese), something that didn't occur to me I would ever be capable of until I started doing it

I've been composing more orchestral music and sending it to like two people

I did a game jam!

I picked up Python programming recently and am trying to create a program to act as a music composition aid

I speedran learning Blender last year for a job application and made exactly one (1) piece using it that went so well I'll probably never draw a building by hand ever again

I've been playing a lot of DnD and other tabletop RPGs and made quite a bit of art related to those that I never posted anywhere

My biggest freelance project of the year was doing all the art for a friend's board game project that I'm cautiously excited about - it should be seeing the light of day some time next year

Basically I'm approaching some sort of critical mass of "uhhh maybe someone on the internet might like to see what I'm up to if I actually posted it" and now I'm confronting the scary emotions of once again being visible online. Yet another friend has offered to help me set up some kind of art stream in the near future and I think I might actually work up the nerve to do it.

-

Compared to 2017 the internet now is obviously a very different place and it's quite intimidating to step back into it if I'm being honest. It feels like there's much more pressure on Cultivating A Brand™ and I can already tell I'm going to be completely terrible at it because that pressure to be a consistent Content Creator™™™ totally smashed my brain in before and I'm not interested in going there again.

On the other hand, I appreciate that someone who is interested in seeing my handful of bird drawings one month might not also be interested in seeing my Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger fanart the next. I don't really know what to do about that except post these things anyway, because otherwise they're just piling up on my hard drive.

So that's it, really! My life is a lot more stable these days and I'm tentatively planning on posting more stuff here and possibly other places too. Thanks again for the ask, and sorry for the impromptu novel!

[nishigo]

an anomaly. // bennett x reader.

a page from the book of memories.

[ p a g e 3 2 9 ｡ ]

authors note: hello! this is my first ever attempt at something for genshin impact. this is longer than i expected, and there may be errors here and there, so i am sorry about that in advance. i do hope you will enjoy it though. i got bennett yesterday after rolling and although many say he’s annoying...he’s very much like me in real life. coincidence? i think not. Σ('◉⌓◉’) i also rolled a girl named keqing. she seems nice, and is a five star, but i don’t know if she’s rare. i truly don’t know how this system works, apologies. T^T anyways, traveler, happy reading. (*'▽'*)

word count : 2191

tw : none that i can think of. very much fluff. and perhaps a touch of a flirty!reader. :)

request status at time of posting : open.

in which he had finally someone who could balance out his unluckiness.

would you like to read?

＞　行｡ ( y e s )

＞　不行 。( n o )

———

Bennett was, to put it simply, confused.

He had just finished a mission with you, being your support the whole entire way through. There had been an offering that had been posted on the tavern’s walls in dark, smudged text that caught his eye at an earlier time. It read that whoever could get rid of the new pop-up hilichurl camp that blocked the path to Liyue would receive a grand sum of Mora. Course, running low on money, Bennett had decided to take up the offer. They would be easy enough to take down, just a simple slash of his sword and a few burns here and there could get the job done in no time. However, there was a problem.

No one would come with him.

Bennett knew that he was very...loud. And he was energetic. And annoying. And, though he hated to admit it...he was unlucky.

Everything seemed stacked up against him. Everyone he turned to in the tavern took a simple glance at him and rejected the offer with no further questions asked. He would try to convince them, but they would simply get more annoyed at his stubbornness and shoo him away with a flick of a hand or some splash of beer to the face. It’s not like he could take the older adventurers out either, they could barely walk on their own two feet. They were so old that they certainly would have shriveled up in the sun if he brought them along. So there that option went, leaving him with practically nothing else to turn to.

But then, if he had no one to go with him, what would happen? Would he continue to be stuck in that tavern? No, he wouldn’t allow himself to waste away like that. He was meant to be out there, in a world that could supply him with the thrill and rush that his heart yearned for. The boy desired to be just as great of an adventurer as the ones who came before him, or perhaps, dare he dream, even greater than them. Bennett desired to be a legend. But being a legend could not be done alone, even if that was what Bennett determined he would forever be, deep in the back of his brain.

Which is why you were such an anomaly.

You were the last person he spoke to that night. He was a complete mess. His shirt was damp with beer and some white wine, his white locks were a birds nest with the goggles sliding off slowly, and his eyes looked devoid of life as he took a deep inhale and they brightened up again. This was his last chance. You were the one who was either going to make or break this plan.

“Hello stranger! I am the great Bennett, and I was wondering if you would be able to help assist me with a mission that was posted on the tavern walls. It’s about the hilichurl camp by Liyue! Although I am rather strong, I need some help so it’s done more efficiently and faster. I’m even willing to split the Mora with you that we make out of it! What do you say?” Bennett recited his lines again, as if he was in an interview of sorts. His leafy green eyes watched as you scrunched up your eyebrows, as if thinking and examining him. Your face was blank other than that, lips in a straight line and hand cupping your cheek. Bennett found it to be quite terrifying. It was such an intimidating look, in fact, that he was about to ask you to forget about it before you spoke first.

“Sure.” You stated simply, a smile forming on your face as you crossed your arms.

“Ahhh, understood, I’ll get goi- WAIT!” The pyro boy turned to look right at you as he gasped. His face was one of shock morphed with a cute, ecstatic look. One could compare it to a puppy of sorts. You were not meant to say yes. You were meant to be like everyone else and reject him. He was dumbfounded as he grabbed a hold of your shoulders and tilted his head.

“You’re not joking?!”

“Course not! Why would I do such a thing?” You rebuked before he giddily jumped up and down while pulling you up to a sweet hug. It was a gentle and firm one, though, he pulled away quickly after realizing he still wreaked of alcohol. You told him you didn’t mind it though, making him rub the back of his head sheepishly and laugh. You two would converse for the night, agreeing to meet up at the gate the next morning so he could lead the way to the camp and also split the mora gained evenly. After the small chat, you would leave the tavern to stay at the local inn for the night and get some rest. Bennett’s eyes were trained on you as the door then closed, realization hitting him like a truck: he found someone. He found a real person to take on a mission. Better yet, they were as gorgeous as they were strong. This was better than any dream he could have made up. Bennett decided he had to turn in for the night soon after you left, taking a spot in his cozy bed under the sheets. His eyes closed as the curtains rustled at the soft wind that blew through the window. The pyro’s last thought before going to bed was that he truly hoped that you would fulfill your end of the deal and show up.

And you kept your promise. You were there as the morning sun rose to reflect your beautiful skin, hair flowing gently in the light breeze as he ran up to you and froze. You looked powerful now that you were out of the tavern and he could see you properly. You had on your adventure gear, dressed appropriately for a mission that required taking out many enemies. What caught his attention, though, was your white cape with golden accents that flowed from behind. Flicking your hood down and off your head, your face was now fully visible as you watched him stare. He was adorable, like a little baby who was just discovering the world for the first time.

“You’re really gonna do this with me?” Bennett asked in wonder. His face was blank as a smirk landed itself on your features. You positioned yourself to stand upright, away from the wall you were leaning on as you held your weapon of choice in your dominant hand. As for the other, you outstretched it towards him with a grin.

“Lead the way.”

Bennett didn’t even have to think twice about it as he eagerly took your hand into his own gloved one and began to lead you out of the city and into the wilderness. He seemed to be very hyper from what you could tell, as he couldn’t seem to stop commenting on how he was destined for greatness, or how thankful he was that you were going to come along with him. He also bombarded you with questions about yourself as well, like if this was your first time in Mondstadt or what kind of element you had control over. He was easily excited, but especially when you told him that you were a traveler that had been moving around place to place to see the sights of the world. It was why you were so strong, you had defeated a wide range of enemies, great and small, on your journeys. Bennett was fascinated by that, drawing him to be more and more curious about you. Alas, the questions and storytelling had to wait. You two had arrived at the camp, and it was time to take some enemies down.

You two ended up making a fantastic duo of sorts. With his sword and experience, he was able to cut down enemies with ease. You did the same, your speed and agility outmatched as you two basically made a massacre out of the camp. His fire would spread through the long grass, and with the natural wind, spread quickly to begin burning it all down. You were quick to come to his aid when he would sometimes get backed against the rocks or a tree, helping him heal with some quick magic you had learned. It wasn’t anything special, but it was enough to keep him up and moving. With such precision and perseverance, your duo was able to defeat the camp with relative ease. However, both you and Bennett were still tired from fighting for so long. You two were out of breath as the fire died out, heaving for air as you gave him a head pat and grinned.

“You did amazing out there. You’re a talented pyro user as well, I’m impressed.” There you went again, making him all confused as he sat there. You just complimented him. A powerful traveler, that has practically defeated every sort of monster there is out there, was impressed by him. Bennett, the unlucky, was impressive? For the first time, he was rendered speechless as he looked at you. It was now night, the moon high in the sky as it illuminated your face. Oh goodness, you looked ethereal. The way the stars were reflected in your eyes, the way the gold of your cape sparkled and flowed behind you, the way you smiled at him, like he was the most handsome boy you had ever seen. The only thing that stopped the comfortable silence between you two was the fact that he shivered when a breeze brushed against his pale, scar littered skin. You snapped out of it and looked him up and down, noticing how a lot of his skin was exposed to the chilly night.

“Here, take this.” You told him as you unbuttoned your cape, taking it off your shoulders. With one swoop, you draped it over his own figure, being as gentle as possible as you buttoned it up again. Bennett was reduced to continuing to stay silent as you clothed him. You placed the hood up on top of his head, a hand on your hip as you grinned at him. It was a bit big on him but nonetheless, it was rather cute. You used your other hand to take his chin gently, making him look you in the eyes. He was rather happy that the hood cast a bit of a shadow, because his cheeks were flushed a hot pink as he was forced to look at you.

“Huh. Looks better on you than it does me.” You commented before he seemed to regain his ability to speak.

“You need this more than me! I-i’m literally a pyro user, I c-can heat myself-” You hushed him, letting go of his chin as you put a finger to his peach pink lips.

“Doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t waste your energy to heat up, especially since we have to walk back to town. I’ll be fine, I’ve been through worse weather situations.” He glanced down at your finger, and then back to you as you dropped your hand and began walking down the path again, back towards the city. Why did you have to be so, so...enchanting? And you were so smooth as well! He had never been so flustered when talking to someone, heck, he was the one who was meant to be doing most of the talking! Though, he supposed that him being talkative didn’t equate to being able to flirt. But something about the thought of you leaving made him pout. It was as if the butterflies were leaving his stomach, but they left him emptier than before.

Bennett refused to be lonely anymore. Not when he had you.

“Hey, darling!~ Would you stop standing there and staring off into space? I know I look wonderful tonight, but we gotta get a move on! We won’t be able to get to town and rest our weary bones if you keep this up!~” You called out to him, making him shake his head and refocus. Right, a bed. Sleep did sound rather good right now, along with a shower and something to quench his thirst. He ran and caught up to you, walking by your side as he grinned. He began to already ask about other missions that the two of you could do together, like gathering supplies for the alchemist or helping around the town for some spare Mora here and there. Bennett then stopped for a moment again, looking at you.

“Would you like to work together again?” There was a moment of silence before you nodded.

“I think I would. We make a great team.” Bennett then continued walking with you, as if time didn’t just stop for a second as he went back to his usual, bubbly nature. The more he thought about it, the happier it made him. More adventures to be made. More memories to be created. All with you at his side the entire time.

And you would make all the difference.

[lynkhart]

MAJOR spoilers for the C2 finale of Critical Role so read at your own risk of you haven’t caught up!

I have so many feelings regarding Caleb and Essek’s intertwining character arcs I needed to explore, so strap in folks, you’re in for a bit of a ride! (But seriously though, this is like 4000 words long, I basically wrote an essay 😂)

At the start of the campaign, Caleb Widogast was dripping in guilt and self loathing and refused to believe he could ever absolve himself of his sins. Essek Thelyss was a cold, aloof individual who betrayed his people for selfish goals, and their differing yet mirrored narratives have been an absolute delight to watch unfold.

In the beginning Caleb truly hated himself. He shot down any attempt at a compliment, described himself as a ‘disgusting person’, outright rejected the idea that he was worthy of love, and never let the blame shift from him for what he’d done. When Beauregard and Veth/Nott pointed out that he was coerced and manipulated into killing his parents, he reacts in an incredibly visceral way, and I’ve seen several comments likening it to a victim of child abuse who was groomed into believing they were as responsible as their abuser, and I think that’s exactly how it was meant to be read. He doesn’t see himself as a victim, only a murderer, and punishes himself for it every day. We see this in the way he presents himself, dirty and unkempt because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel good about himself in any way. Other than Nott/Veth and Beau to a certain degree, he purposefully isolates himself from the rest of the group and it’s a long time until he feels relaxed enough in their company to drop his defences a little.

(Speaking from a purely meta point of view, Liam did an absolutely phenomenal job of showing this through body language and I’d love to see someone do a compilation video of it. He starts off very hunched and guarded, leaning his body away from the closest person to him and avoiding eye contact and physical touch; but by the end stands tall and sure of himself.)

Early on there were a few moments where he had the option to do some pretty dark shit, and I’m sure there’s a possible timeline where he gave into his desire for revenge and really lost his way, but I’m glad he stuck it out and worked through his trauma in the way he did. His PTSD and disassociation when casting with fire was tragic, but over time he was able to work through it thanks to the constant love and support of his friends who kept him from going off at the deep end.

Molly’s death was the catalyst for change in a lot of the party, and Caleb is no exception. On the verge of leaving the group prior to his death, the grief they shared, combined with their frantic attempt to rescue the other half of their party put things in perspective and gradually he learned how to be a person again, to care.

Altering time to save his family had been Caleb’s only goal in life, and so when Essek and by extension, dunamancy was introduced, you could see his eyes light up at the possibilities.

A huge turning point for him is aligned so closely with Essek’s redemption arc which feels quite apt I think. When Essek confesses to his crimes, Caleb delivers a beautifully iconic piece of dialogue where he acknowledges their similarities and how much he himself has changed as a person since meeting the Mighty Nein. (Source - CR wiki)

‘You listen to me. I know what you are talking about. I know. And the difference between you and I is thinner than a razor. I know what it means to have other people complicate your desires and wishes. And I was like you. Was. I know what a fool I have been for years. You didn't account for us. Good. That is life. Shit hits you sideways in life and no one is prepared. No one is ready. These people changed me. These people can change you. You were not born with venom in your veins. You learned it. You learned it. You have a rare opportunity here, Thelyss. One chance to save yourself, and we are offering it.’

This is not the same Caleb we met back in the Nestled Nook inn way back in the first episode. While not yet fulfilled or entirely convinced of his own worth, he knows he’s on the right path. That alone is progress enough, but that he uses his own experiences to help another escape those same chains of guilt says such a lot for his development. When he tells Essek that his ‘venom’ was learned, he’s also talking about himself and his own history of being manipulated and gaslit, with the implication being that it can be un-learned just as efficiently.

Caleb Widogast is selfish no more, or at the very least, doesn’t let his goals undermine anyone else’s anymore. Contrary to what he himself might still think, he is in no way a bad person. He loves fiercely and cannot abide seeing those he cares about in pain.

Early game Essek is what Caleb could have been if he’d rejected his friends and focused solely on his own selfish goal to undo his mistakes. Both are impassive at first and see the Mighty Nein as means to an end...until they get to know them and then their fate is sealed. The Power of Friendship wins once again!

At the beginning Caleb said he wanted to ‘bend reality to my will’ (sic) and in the end he does just that, though not in the way he originally intended. Destroying the T-Dock, and by extension the one thing he’d been building towards from the start, the chance to go back and change time, for me personally was the absolute peak of his journey. I rewatched the scene where Caleb revealed the truth about his parents death today, and it was really jarring to see just how far he’d come since then. It made me oddly proud actually.

I always felt like his plan to save his parents was the one thing holding him back from truly accepting their deaths, which is why the final scene of him in the cemetery with the letters for them hit so hard. He never truly gave up hope that they’d be reunited, but ultimately he realised he was merely postponing the inevitable and never allowing himself to live his own life. While time travel shenanigans would have been incredibly interesting to explore in game, choosing to let the past lie and not go back for them finally allows him to grieve and move on, and perhaps most importantly of all, to forgive himself at last.

I know some people were annoyed by Caleb’s decision in the finale to spend the rest of his life teaching rather than continuing to adventure, but I see it as the natural conclusion to his whole arc and his own personal victory.

He looked Trent Ikithon in the eyes, a man who he’d spent years wanting to kill and run from in equal measure, stripped him of his power and his voice (and ultimately his ability to harm anyone else) and finally spared his life so he had to live with the indignity of his defeat for the rest of his miserable existence. You couldn’t have asked for a more damning rejection of everything he’d been brainwashed into believing as a child. His dismissal of Trent’s position in the Assembly played into that as well. He never really wanted power for the sake of it; he had no desire for politics, he just wanted his family back, and while he didn’t get the one he started with, he made a new one for himself in the end.

As Caduceus once very wisely said:

‘Pain doesn’t make people; it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential; it's love that saves them.’

Caleb gets to break the cycle of abuse and teach a new generation of mages the way he should have been, with kindness and respect, and I’m pretty sure he’d have introduced a handsome drow as a guest lecturer from time to time. 😉

Speaking of...

Essek described himself as selfish and as a coward, forever putting his own wants and desires first, yet over the course of his journey with the Nein we see his priorities change drastically.

Having friends gives him people to care about, something he’s never had before, and it changes his outlook on life completely. For me, the first time we really see this is when he joins them for dinner in the Xorhaus and stops levitating. It’s a subtle thing, but meaningful. He explains that it had become an expectation of him, a quirk he’s known for, and so to feel comfortable enough around the Nein to drop that pretence is quite bold I think.

Much later, when he chooses to destroy the mini beacon they discover in Aeor in order to give everyone a long rest before the final confrontation with Lucian, he’s essentially giving up everything he betrayed his people for, just to keep his friends safe. The existence and context of that single artefact could have had an earthshattering impact on the Dynasty’s entire culture, forcing them to reevaluate their entire belief system and attitude to the Luxon, something he’d wanted from the start, something he helped start a war for, but he offered it up as a sacrifice without a second thought.

I’d say that’s a pretty big morality shift, and I’m super interested to see if Matt reveals if his alignment changed in the post campaign Q&A. I have a feeling he set him up as a potential BBEG but the party was like ‘no, you can’t have him, he’s ours now’ and that was the end of that. 😂

I think it says so much about the other characters too, that they befriended this person they barely knew, and when he was revealed to have done such terrible things, their first reaction was to give him comfort and an opportunity to atone. Jester held his hand while he confessed, and afterwards, while they didn’t immediately forgive him, they saw the good in him and wanted him to be better, which ultimately feels like what the entire campaign was about, leaving places (and people) better than they found them. It’s obvious that he’s never really had many friends before and has therefore never had the opportunity to be emotionally open with anyone, so seeing him gradually warm up to the Nein and allow himself to soften around them was really lovely to watch.

(Obviously, from a realistic moral perspective, he still fucked up big time. He’s still a godsdamned war criminal and really should have been put on trial for what he did, but I think from a narrative and personal point of view, his redemption arc was far more satisfying, so I’m glad it happened the way it did. (And not to derail but the rest of the gang have done some pretty horrific stuff as well, though perhaps not quite on the same scale)

He has a few moments towards the end that I absolutely love because they show that beneath the guilt and anguish, there’s an incredibly sweet and sensitive soul in there, just wanting acceptance. His dry jokes which often don’t quite hit, (the ‘I will punish the bakery’ line is such an under-appreciated one 😂) his simple joy at learning to garden in the Blooming Grove, and realising that he’d never been asked what his favourite food was before was actually kind of heartbreaking, because it highlighted how lonely his life must have been until that time. There was a moment pretty early on I think when he cast disguise on the party and Jester asked if he could cast it again to change the look of her outfit a bit and while he seemed to find it amusing, he refused, not wanting to waste a spell on such a frivolous request. Cut to their time in Aeor where he burns a fly spell just so he and Caleb can flirtatiously swoop around each other for a couple of minutes, all the while trying to beat Lucian to the city.

His breakdown when Molly’s resurrection failed really cemented to me how much he’d grown as a character. He never met Molly, his only knowledge of him was secondhand, through the eyes of his friends, but seeing it fail just broke him because he knew how much it hurt them to go through it all over again.

His comment to Caleb about not admitting defeat and wishing he could do more did get me wondering at the time if he was going to try and do something crazy, perhaps sacrificing himself via the Temporal Dock to make amends or somehow forcing another reroll, but I’m glad he didn’t. The conversation following that with Fjord was one of my favourites- he shows him acceptance and belief in his potential for the future, something he’s lacked for a long time, and when Caleb bluntly affirms afterwards that he is indeed an official member of the Mighty Nein, it’s the start of the rest of his life, and something he’s exceptionally grateful for.

It all leads to that final moment in Aeor with Caleb, when, presented with the opportunity to alter time and undo everything, he chooses to accept his decisions and carry the weight of his sins for the rest of his long life. That’s...huge.

He’s essentially choosing to live the rest of his existence as a fugitive, forever on the run, with no guaranteed peace or safety. He chooses to spend his life making up for his deeds, rather than looking for an easy way out.

I think that may have had a big impact on why Caleb ultimately made the same decision, as if Essek had been up for altering his timeline I think he’d have struggled to resist it himself. The conversation they had earlier in Aeor about their priorities and resisting temptation really comes to mind as well.

Now, to the relationship.

It was subtle, and not as ‘in your face’ obvious as the other characters, but I’ve been watching and hoping for a long time and I must say, it feels good to be vindicated.

(And if you have any doubt, both Matt and Liam confirmed on Twitter that their post finale relationship was 100% romantic)

I’d been hoping that Shadowgast would be a canon endgame relationship for a while, so the finale, and the aforementioned T-Dock scene in particular had me quite literally shaking with emotion as I watched live. Here you have two men, both damaged and guilt-stricken in their own ways, who find in each other a kindred spirit and a path to redemption.

They’re both very guarded and closed off people, but Essek in particular has a definite shift in the last arc of the campaign especially when it came to his interactions with Caleb. At the start he was quite aloof and stoic, though charming, and they had an instant connection through their shared love of the arcane, (anyone who couldn’t see them making heart eyes at each other when Essek was describing the different types of magic he could teach Caleb was clearly blind) but by the end he was incredibly open to showing his vulnerabilities and that takes a lot, especially for someone whose primary focus was to stay in control of every aspect of his life. The ‘Caleb, I’m scared’ moment during the Trent fight in particular made my heart ache.

No, we didn’t get a dramatic declaration of love or a cinematic mid-battle kiss, but I’d argue that their relationship was just as, if not more intimate than any of the other main characters were. They understood each other in a way the others didn’t, their shared guilt, feelings of inadequacy and their obsession with magic forged a deep connection from the get-go. Neither of them are big fans of PDA I think, though Caleb is tactile as hell (forehead touches and kisses, oh man, I’m so weak for those 😩👌) and some of their most iconic moments have them putting themselves in harm’s way to protect the other. Essek shaking off his forced guilt trip immediately after the now infamous forehead touch in ep140 was beautifully poetic, as was using his fortune’s favour to pull Caleb out of the rubble moments before. Caleb trying to include him in his Sphere of Invulnerability in the finale and Essek staying close to him the whole fight despite being obviously terrified of Trent was the icing on the cake. It’s clear that they care for each other a great deal; whether by the finale they’d consider it love is up for debate, but we know that’s eventually where it ended up and honestly, I love that. I deeply appreciated the fact Matt and Liam both emphasised that they took their time with their relationship, letting each other heal in their own way before they took the next step. All too often in media, and real life too sadly, a romantic relationship is seen as some kind of quick fix, and that a lover will somehow complete you or make all your problems vanish. They knew this wasn’t the case here, and that made it all the better.

While I would have *loved* to have seen them together as a couple right to the very end, the change in their relationship felt right, if bittersweet. I doubt they ever stopped loving each other, and if anything, choosing to shift to a deep and lifelong friendship over a romance that would cause them both so much pain is one of the kindest things you could do for someone you love. After all, friendship isn’t a downgrade, just another way of experiencing that same love, and it wasn’t as though they broke up and never saw each other again, it was pretty strongly implied that they remained a major feature in each other’s lives, they just changed their label slightly. Caleb would hate to have forced Essek to watch him wither away, and although his eventual passing would hurt Essek regardless, incompatible lifespans being what they are, having a period of time to adjust to it, to give them a buffer between the inevitable heartbreak was actually really sweet.

Their romance was no accident, they knew going in that it had a time limit, that it wasn’t going to be forever for one of them, and the fact they did it anyway says so much. They began their adventure wholeheartedly believing that they were both, in their own way incapable of love, only to later find it with each other. Whether their relationship lasted for a couple of years or multiple decades is irrelevant, what matters is that while it did they had a happy and fulfilled life together.

I know some folk wanted Caleb to use the transmogrification spell on himself so he could live on with Essek as another elf, or make him human instead, but that would have been way out of character for both I think. If they could have backwards engineered one of the rejuvenation stations in Aeor and used it to extend Caleb’s life by a hundred years or so, so he’d have a similar lifespan to Veth, now, I could have seen him possibly doing that, so he could spend more time with his best friend too, but nothing further I think. He longed to be reunited with his parents too much to postpone death unnaturally like that.

That both Caleb and Essek ultimately chose to live with their mistakes and make peace with themselves was incredibly cathartic, and I couldn’t imagine it playing out any better.

The fact Matt has explicitly stated Essek is Demi too means so much to me personally because the latter is a label I’ve been identifying with a lot recently, and it’s so rare for aspec relationships to get any representation! It has honestly given me a lot to think about over the last few days, and I really appreciate it.

To conclude, here’s a bit of shameless self promotion. I wrote this after watching the finale and honestly feel like it sums up my feelings on the nature of their relationship pretty well.

‘A casual hand on a shoulder, a waist, a wrist; a gentle kiss placed on a forehead is common between them now, an intimacy born of trust and mutual affection. Over time it grows, like a fire born of seasoned timber; gradual and steady, no spluttering kindling that flares and sparks, but a slow burn, one which lasts.

Their love is embroidered into every aspect of their lives together. Acts of service, of comfort, of understanding.

Sometimes a kiss leads to more than a kiss, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way they are content.‘

So yeah, I love these two wizard boys so very much and I couldn’t be happier with the conclusion of their stories. ❤️

[magnoliabloomfield]

Possession 12

Gally wished he never made the suggestion that Nikola be a keeper, he wished he had gotten her as a builder so he could keep an eye on her at all times. He hated it whenever he couldn’t see her, when he didn’t know what she was doing or who she was around, if she was safe. He wanted her around him. It was completely selfish, and he didn’t really mean it. Well, he meant it, but only a little bit, he knew it was better to have her on the council. Besides if she was a builder he definitely would have turned into the very type of possessive keeper he’d been worried about someone else becoming.

He had trouble focusing, sometimes even breathing, especially when he would think about how she said it would suck if he wasn’t around her, the sad pout to her lips. Her little pink lips. He found himself absently sketching her face in the margins of his blueprints instead of doing any real work. He’d always been good at drawing the straight lines and angles of architecture, but she made him discover a talent for portraits as well.

God this was crazy. He’d been the most upset the day she arrived, he’d been the most concerned about how the boys would be acting and here he was, a self fulfilling prophecy. It was like he only felt good when he was around her now. She brought something special to the glade that had been missing until now. She brought light, hope, fun, distraction. All the time they were fighting for basic survival, but she made surviving bearable, she made it worth it.

What was he going to do? He probably wasn’t the only one who thought of her this way, there had to be others just dying to have her around them too, thinking about her as much as he was. Who was she thinking about? After the little things she had said to him and the way she let her feelings show in her eyes only when she talked to him made a part of Gally believe she was thinking of him. However, the thought of being wrong was so painful he dared not let himself fully believe it. And then there was the rule. She’d never belong to him. The only comfort it brought was that she wouldn’t belong to anyone else either.

~~~~~

Gally laid in his cot, sleep evading him in favor of thoughts of Nikola. He couldn’t torture himself by giving in to fantasy, it would only drive him to do something stupid and get one or both of them in trouble. He stared up at his dingy ceiling and suddenly missed the nights back at the beginning when he was sleeping in a hammock in the trees, the sky above him and fresh air all around. His room smelled. He smelled, he usually put on the same clothes day after day all sweaty and rank. It never mattered before, but now he would be mortified if she ever came in here.

What would she be doing in there though? He told his brain to shut up, he wouldn’t follow that line of thought. It prodded him too much and he realized he was not going to get to sleep any time soon, just toss and turn in his smelly room all night. He was going to have everything washed tomorrow even if he had to do it himself.

He launched upright and grabbed his pants as he stood up, putting them on and then his boots. He was going to get out of his room and get fresh air and the sky above him. He stepped out into the midnight blue of the glade, faint snores coming from where the other boys slept. He went off in the opposite direction so he wouldn’t wake anyone up or have to listen to them either.

He found himself at her tower without realizing he’d taken a beeline to it. He would never try to get up there in a million years, that would freak her out for sure. Besides, he’d done much too good a job at making it intruder proof, something he never thought he’d be kicking himself for. But then he noticed her ladder was down. He looked around the glade for her, at first excited at the idea of her being up when he was up, but then he got worried about if someone besides them was up too. What if something happened to her? He’d been awake the whole night, he would have heard a scream… but what if she didn’t get a chance?

His search turned desperate and frantic, he listened for noise, he looked for light, any sign of her. He sprinted to her house and stood at the ladder. He was hesitant to call her name in case he woke someone else up. The ladder could have fallen, she could be up there asleep and have no clue, or she could be up there and not alone. He scrambled up the ladder and took a quick glance, finding she wasn’t there. He went down quickly too. He sprinted to the bathrooms just to find them empty, but there was water around her shower stall. She must have been here, or someone was. He raced to the kitchen next, it was only logical, you either get up to pee or get a drink in the middle of the night, right?

He saw a glow coming from the kitchen as he got closer and part of him felt relieved, but not enough to slow down. He burst in and saw Nikola crouched on the floor with a small laundry tub and her sheets.

“Shuck,” she said softly as she startled, almost falling over.

She stared up at him, relief passing her features when she recognized him. Meanwhile he just stood there panting for a second before bracing himself on his knees, so glad she was ok. He let his head hang for a moment as he composed himself.

“Are you alright?” he asked her as he straightened up and came closer. He noticed a pink tinge to the water and how only part of her sheets were in there, not the whole thing. Then he saw the garments. She started her period.

“I’m fine,” she said, looking down into the water a bit embarrassedly and trying to hide the stained clothes.

“God, I was thinking the worst,” he sighed as he ran a hand over his face before sitting on the ground next to her. She seemed surprised and confused as she glanced between him and what she was doing, wondering why he was coming closer. “Do you need some help?”

“No, Gally, you don’t want to help me with this-“

“I know,” he interrupted her, trying to show her she had nothing to be embarrassed about. “I know what happened and I can help if you want me to.”

She slightly narrowed her eyes at him. “How do you know-“ she started to say before giving up, since it was pretty obvious. “It’s gross, you shouldn’t have to deal with it.”

“Hey, I’m the keeper of the builders, you think I haven’t had to wash blood out of clothes before?”

“It’s not the same,” she muttered glumly, starting to scrub half heartedly again. “It’s embarrassing. I was hoping to get it taken care of before it set, and before anyone could see it, and now of all people you’re here watching me make uterus soup.”

It was a graphic description but he wasn’t repulsed by it, in fact, he burst into laughter.

“Oh god,” he chuckled as he rubbed his eyes. “Well, if you don’t want me to touch your laundry is there something else I can do for you? Do you need something to drink, or eat, or a hot water bottle?”

She looked over at him as if trying to figure out what planet he came from. He saw her eyes travel down before she quickly looked away with a new shade of pink on her cheeks. He realized he had put on boots and pants, but not his shirt. Oops.

“I-I’m fine, you can go back to bed,” she told him.

“Oh, no I’m not going anywhere till you’re done and I make sure you get to your room safe,” He informed her, sounding quite firm about it.

“You don’t-“

“I do.”

“God, you’re stubborn,” she said even as she smirked.

“Yeah, and the faster this gets done, the faster you’ll get rid of me, so you might as well let me help,” he told her.

He didn’t care, he wasn’t squeemish about it. He had seen gore, he had seen and smelled boys crap their pants. It wasn’t pleasant but it wasn’t the end of the world either, not when there was water and soap at the ready. He was with her, and he could do something useful to help her.

“Well, you can stay to walk me back, but you don’t have to touch this-“

His response to that was to reach right in and take the sheet from her, making her mouth fall open in shock.

“I’ll leave your clothes to you and I’ll take care of the sheets,” he delegated to her, focusing on what he was doing.

She didn’t say much, but he didn’t mind. It was late, she was tired and probably had cramps. He was just glad to be beside her and be helpful. They finished quickly working together. They dumped the tub and put fresh water in, letting the sheets soak overnight to deal with in the morning. She took her clothes with her to hang to dry in her room.

“Hang on a sec,” Gally told her before rooting around in Fry’s food.

He triumphantly presented her with a jar of peanut butter. “It’s the closest thing to candy we have around here,” he explained, earning a chuckle from her as she took the jar from him, maybe her eyes flickered over his chest before she looked back up at him.

“Thanks, Gally. For everything,” She said as her tired eyes seemed to sparkle a little. “And I mean everything. You keep doing the most for me ever since I showed up here.”

He felt a bashful blush creep up to his face and didn’t have much he could say to that. He walked her back to her little house, standing at the bottom until she had climbed up and pulled the ladder up behind her, then pulled up the basket with her wet clothes and the peanut butter. She leaned on the railing, bathed in moonlight as she looked down at him.

“I don’t care how big the world outside these walls is, I don’t think there’s anyone else like you in it,” She commented out of the blue before her grin flashed in the darkness. “Goodnight Gally.”

“Goodnight Nikola,” he replied with a small smile of his own, watching until she disappeared inside.

He ran a hand over his hair and cradled the back of his neck with it as he let out a heavy breath. The insomnia was totally worth it.

Unfortunately he had been right about something. They weren’t the only ones awake that night.

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ready for some angst??? I have it planned in my brain a bit, I'll write it asap. thanks for your comments, likes and reblogs! They motivate me to write more.

@frequentlychangingfandoms @quackquackbi @poulterjonas @crazysheeplyca @pre-google @gladerscake @neilox @thesuitkovian @carp3d1em @cottoncandy-dreamxd @emilyhadenbaker

[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 6

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 with a side of angst. The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: Some drinking & swearing.

(My GIF)

He made it out onto the street, looking around him in all directions, heart sinking as he couldn’t see her anywhere.

Running his fingers through his hair, Billy continued scanning the crowded streets. No.... nothing. He grabbed his phone and dialled her number. She didn’t pick up. So he texted her.

“Angel, just saw you in the restaurant. I was there for a business lunch, really hope you don’t think there was anything else to it cos there wasn’t. Please - call me back or pick up when I call.”

He tried another couple of times including FaceTime but no, she definitely wasn’t picking up. Trying once more, he let it ring through to voicemail, and left basically the same message on there. He had no intention of returning to Madani and continuing lunch - too many awkward questions to face there apart from anything else - so he went back to his car, got in, slamming his hands down onto the steering wheel a few times before starting the engine, and driving back to Anvil.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You and your friend had only gone a few doors down to another restaurant, and luckily they had a table available. Once you’d ordered and had glasses of wine in your hands, your friend Karen had fixed you with a steely gaze and said, “Okay, give.”

She worked as a reporter at one of the big newspapers, and you hadn’t had the chance to catch up with her for a good few months. And you knew she wouldn’t let this go until she’d wrung all the juicy details out of you, so you took a big sip of wine and sighed.

Catching her up from the whole ex-boyfriend situation to the cocktail party and meeting your new love interest, through to becoming lovers and maybe thinking it could go somewhere, you finally got to today’s fiasco.

“So, literally as soon as we sat down, I look up and that big fucker’s walking in with some pretty girl and looking extremely comfortable with her!” You gave what could only be described as an angry growl, “I mean I’d sussed out from the get-go that he was a player, but ... uhhh!!!... how could I be so damn stupid to fall for his shit talk?!!! Telling me I was his girlfriend!!!” You blew out a big breath.

“And then...“ you switched to your fake “man” voice, “‘Oh, I got a job I’ll be on for the next couple of days, angel.’” Another angry huff from you. “Yeah, right, on a ‘job’...he was obviously gonna be ON her! For about 48 hours by the sound of it. Bitch! And he’s a fucking jerk.”

Once Karen could get a word in edgeways when your rant drew to a close, she said in a calming voice, “Honey, it sounds like you had a lucky escape. There’s a lot of them in New York, you know... fucking jerks, I mean.”

You felt your eyes welling up, but blinked the tears back fiercely, you weren’t going to cry over that stupid big douchebag. You pulled your phone out of your bag, “I mean, look! Look at what he literally put in my phone yesterday evening...” and, ignoring your notifications for the moment, you scrolled to Contacts and turned the phone towards her.

Karen rolled her eyes, “Urrrghh, how lame is that? ‘Your Boyfriend’?” shaking her head. Even though you were furious at him, you felt a twinge of annoyance at her comment. You’d thought it was quite cute. Well, you had before that little shitshow. Then she put her face closer to the screen, “Hey, wait a minute!.. lemme see his photo?”

You handed the phone to her, and she peered at the image. “Oh my god,” she breathed, looking up at you, “...what’s your guy’s name?” “Billy Russo,” you spat back, loath to even voice it. She handed you the phone back. “Well, that’s just damn spooky,” she said, looking amazed. She leant in to you, “I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months, his name’s Frank,” and your mouth dropped. “Billy’s got a friend called Frank!” you said, staring at her. She nodded, “Yep, works at Anvil which is owned by the one and only Billy Russo!”

She sat back, taking a long sip of her wine. “What a freaking coincidence this is,” she shook her head. “Frank’s told me a little about him, you know and I’m afraid you’re right - he sounds like a total player.” She looked at you sympathetically, “Sorry.” You waved a hand in the air, “Nothing I hadn’t guessed for myself, Karen. But... he seemed so sincere.” You laughed self-depracatingly, “I was gonna be the one who tamed the bad boy. Huh!!”

You scrolled through the notifications, realising they were all from Billy. “I think he must’ve seen me! He’s called and texted.” You read the text, huffing and showing it to Karen, who raised her eyebrows and commented, “Nice recovery, Russo.” “The voicemail’s the same,” you said, as you listened to it. “What a load of bullshit. I mean, c’mon, who walks a business lunch date to the table with his hand on her back?”

Karen nodded, “No-one, unless they wanna get slapped with a lawsuit.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy slammed his office door behind him, and threw himself into his chair, tapping out a staccato rhythm on his desktop with a long finger. He reached down, opening his bottom desk drawer and taking out a bottle of whisky and a glass. A moment later, the door opened and Frank came in, looking concerned. He took in Billy’s less-than-immaculate hair, bouncing knee and tense demeanour.

Billy waggled the whisky bottle and quirked an eyebrow at him, but Frank shook his head.

“Okay, Bill, what’s up? Something go wrong?” Billy looked up at him, scowling ferociously, “Fuck yes!” he bit out, “Frankie... everything’s gone wrong.”

Before he could say anything else, Frank’s phone rang and he held a finger up to Billy to say he was going to take the call.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he answered it, “how’re you?” Billy heard a big outburst of indecipherable speech from the phone, and then saw Frank’s eyes flick over to him. “Oh, uhhh okay.. umm right, yeah he’s here. Yeah... yep, I’ll let him know. Will I see you later?” He smiled fondly as he went on, “Okay! That’s great, see you then.” He hung up, hand going to his jaw and running over his stubbled chin, looking worried.

“Bill...” he started, just staring at him and Billy stared right back, “What?”

Frank said a name to him, his angel’s name, and continued, “You know her?” Billy nodded, “Yeah, that’s my girl.” Frank plopped down into the chair across from him, “Not sure that’s the case now.” Billy nodded, “I know. That’s what I was about to tell you. I took Madani out to lunch and my girl was in the fuckin’ restaurant.” He shook his head, “She ran right outta there and I followed but couldn’t find her. So I headed back here. Left Madani sitting there in the restaurant.”

He poured a generous slug of whisky into the glass and knocked back most of it. “Now my girl’s mad at me and Dinah’s mad at me, and this operation could be down the tube.”

Frank sighed, rubbing his big paw over his face. “And Karen’s her friend, can you believe that? So she’s mad at you too. Fuckin’ hell, Russo.”

“Yeah,” said Billy, also sighing. “How the fuck am I gonna fix this?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Dinah Madani was not a happy bunny. She stomped into her office, yelling out “Sam!!!” as she went. He hurried in behind her. “Something wrong, Dinah?” She gave him a contemptuous look, “I see you’ve been working on your powers of observation. Well done! Yes, something’s wrong!” Sitting down behind her desk, she glared up at him, “Russo!!! That’s what wrong. That piece of shit.”

Inwardly, Sam laughed to himself. Despite Madani’s sarcastic gibe at his perceptiveness, he’d quickly realised as soon as Russo had popped up in this case that Madani had the serious hots for him. She thought she’d been getting somewhere with him, both on the case and personally, but now something must’ve put a spanner in the works on either one or both of those.

“What’s pretty boy done now?” he asked, trying and failing to completely hide his smirk. She scowled at him, “We’d gone out for lunch - to discuss the case,” she hastily added, and Sam thought to himself ‘yeah, right, and what were you hoping dessert was gonna be?’

“He spotted someone leaving the restaurant and off he goes, saying he’s got to catch up with them.” She viciously powered up her laptop. “Think it was a woman,” she mumbled. “Sorry, what?” said Sam innocently. “I said, I think it was a woman!” spat out Madani, “are you deaf or something?”

Sam smirked again, “Oh. Dear. Someone to do with the case, you think?” She stared at her screen, “How should I know? But that bastard’s got some explaining to do.”

Well this afternoon was gonna be a complete blast, thought Sam.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d returned to Chelsea, and spent the whole afternoon getting under your team’s feet in the café. Not wanting to sit and brood in your office, you’d busied yourself ‘helping them out’, when in fact they didn’t actually need any assistance. And you could sense you were vaguely irritating them. But you didn’t feel up to telling them what the problem was.

Eventually, you’d asked if one of them wanted the rest of the day off as paid leave, and Gabrielle had jumped at the chance. Her older sister had just recently popped out another baby, and she was keen to visit and fulfill her role as doting aunt.

The two guys had watched you warily for the rest of the day, in case all your nervous energy ended up causing some kind of coffee-shop catastrophe. You sent them off at the end of the day, saying you’d close up yourself. Which turned out to be a mistake. Looking vacantly out at the street, you closed and locked the door when they left, and that’s when you spotted the Wraith, parked diagonally opposite the café.

Resting your forehead against the cool glass of the door for a moment, knowing you should really have anticipated that this would be Billy’s next move when you didn’t respond to his attempts at contacting you. Either turn up here or at your apartment. Not difficult to work out. You got the fright of your life as the doorway suddenly darkened, and long legs clad in suit trousers and a pair of shiny black shoes appeared in your line of vision. You’d jumped back in surprise and Billy leant one one arm on the door, staring in at you and mouthing “Please?” at you, followed by (you thought), “I just wanna explain.”

You’d looked away from his pleading eyes, contemplating what you were going to do. Let him in, don’t let him in. You couldn’t deny you wanted to hear his explanation. In all its no-doubt manufactured glory. So, heaving a big sigh, you unlocked the door and immediately walked away to the counter, leaving him to actually open the door and walk in. A small victory, you thought. You hadn’t actually let him in after all. Sort of.

“Coffee?” you asked over your shoulder. “Please.” You made an Americano for him, and a caffé corretto for yourself. You weren’t too fond of grappa, so topped up the espresso with some brandy. Billy, who was leaning on the counter watching you, raised an eyebrow at you. “Ooh, that bad, huh? Can I get some too?” You just stared at him, and he added, “Please?” so you added a shot to his coffee and handed it to him.

Sipping your own strong and bracing beverage, you leaned back against the unit behind you, face neutral, waiting. He took a long drink of his fortified coffee, eyes never leaving yours. He carefully placed the cup back into the saucer, leaning his arms on the counter and looking back up at you, the tip of his tongue swiftly moving over his bottom lip.

“I know you’ll probably think this is total bullshit, but I promise you it’s not,” he said into the silence. You nodded, “Mmhmm.” His eyes drilled into yours, sincerity shining out of them, “That was purely a business lunch. She’s a Homeland agent, and Frankie and I are... in the middle of something with that agency. I can’t tell you any of the details... yet. I’m sorry.”

You huffed out a long breath. “Firstly, Billy, since when does a business lunch entail walking the woman to a table with a hand on her back?” He winced, but you weren’t finished, “And right now, to me, the only thing you looked like getting into the middle of was her.” This time he flinched back from the venom in your voice, but he maintained eye contact with you.

“Angel, I swear to you... On. My. Life. There is nothing and will never be anything between me and Agent Madani.” So.... Agent Madani, your brain rolled the words around your mind. “We’re in a joint operation with them, and I need to make sure she doesn’t drop us out of the loop, they’re good at doing that.”

“And how’re you doing that, Billy? With ‘business lunches’, with lots of flirting? She got the hots for you, hmmm Billy? Yeah? So, ultimately with sex? Keep her really sweet?”

Damn, you knew you’d hit the nail right on the head. His face had flushed, guilt written all over him and he’d slid back on the counter slightly. You’d like to bet that If he hadn’t met you, that’s exactly what would’ve happened. Maybe he’d just not got that far down his timetable with her yet.

You stared intently into his eyes, “Slept with her yet, Billy?” He straightened up to his full height, looking down at you, a strange distant expression in his eyes. “No, angel, I haven’t. And I can’t deny what you’ve just said. That was the plan. Me and Frankie need to know what information and leads she’s got. Yeah, she’d like to fuck me, she’s made that pretty obvious. But we hadn’t quite got to that stage yet.” He took a deep breath, and said in a rush, “We had a drink after work one night, and I kissed her.”

“Uhuh. Did you.” Statement, not question, folding your arms over your chest.

“Before we met!” he hastily added, emphasising the ‘before’, “...it happened days before we met. And it was purely business to me. Nothing more.” “Really? She’s pretty hot.” You could tell he spent a split second thinking how best to reply and keep his balls intact at the same time. “Well, yeah she is... but the spark’s not there for me. She doesn’t float my boat. Not like you do.” You smirked, good answer Russo!

“So what would your schedule have been?” He looked at you, puzzled, “What d’you mean?”

“Flirt, tick. Kiss, tick,” you made little air ticking motions with your finger. “Fuck...? Now, just when would that’ve been on the table, Billy?” He looked away from you, shaking his head, “I dunno. Whenever it would’ve been necessary.” Glancing back at you, “Look, I know this sounds really...” “Shitty?” you supplied. He allowed himself a small grin, “Yeah, shitty,” then the grin dropped. “But this is life and death, angel, and it means finally clearing our names as long as it all goes down okay.” You decided to spare Billy the verbal barb which had popped effortlessly into your head, along the lines of ‘would it depend on who went down on who?’

But you didn’t, instead saying. “Oh right, that’d be clearing your name from when you and Frank got arrested by Homeland, yes?” Billy gave you a hint of a smile, “So, you have been digging after all.”

You nodded, “Yes, I have. Not that I found out much. The dead CIA guy, him having funded you, you guys getting arrested. That was pretty much it.” He nodded, “That’s the bare bones of it, the important parts though. I promise you that as soon as I can, I’ll tell you the whole sorry story. We’re still right in the... it’s all still goin’ on right now.”

You smirked to yourself, you knew he’d changed what he’d been about to say as he was saying it, in case you took another dig at him about exactly what he was in the middle of.

He moved round the counter, and stood next to you. His dark eyes looked huge as they stared into yours, “I promise you, angel, you’re the only woman I’m interested in. The only one I want to be with. Please say you believe me.” The annoying thing was, you did. You didn’t like what he’d told you - that basically if you hadn’t been on the scene he’d have slept with Madani to keep her ‘on side’ - but you did believe that he hadn’t had sex with her. You thought that the small snippet of her body language you’d observed had screamed ‘I want him’ but not the casual touching and languid looks of ‘I’ve had him’.

You gave a big sigh. “Okay, Russo, I believe you.” A look of pure relief crossed his face, and he immediately grabbed both of your hands, pulling you close and kissing you hungrily. You pulled away after a few moments, just as he was trying to deepen the kiss. “But you’re on parole for a while.” He groaned, which became a laugh, “Okay, yeah... whatever you want, angel. For however long you want. I guess I deserve some punishment.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After closing up, you and Billy crossed the road and headed towards his car. He beeped his car remote at it as he approached and then opened the passenger door for you. As you folded yourself into the seat, he put one arm on the door frame and leant in to kiss you again. “Sneaky,” you said as you moved your lips away from his. “Always,” he replied and smiled widely at you. He seemed very happy to have been granted ‘parole’, you thought.

As Billy drove off in the direction of his place - realising this produced a part-exasperated smirk on your face - you contemplated what a fucking awful, emotional, but ultimately good day you’d had.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Someone else was stewing about precisely the same thing. Only without the good ending.

Dinah Madani had a furious scowl on her face as she put her SUV into Drive and pulled out into the traffic flow, following Billy’s car.

She’d just watched that whole little pantomime as he’d opened the car door for that woman, then leant in and obviously kissed her, although she hadn’t been able to actually see that from her vantage point a couple of cars behind his.

When she’d followed Billy from Anvil out to Chelsea earlier on, for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why he’d headed into a coffee shop, of all places. She’d discovered that she couldn’t see into the café from where she was parked, and didn’t want to break cover and walk over to the window in case Billy spotted her.

Then out he’d trotted, hand in hand with whoever this woman was - a waitress in a coffee shop? “Classy, Russo, very classy,” she said out loud, in a bitchy voice. She could ask him about it, she thought, but knowing him he’d more than likely tell her it was none of her business.

Well, she was going to make it her business to find out whatever she could about this apparent liaison of his. She pulled over and watched as his car disappeared into the underground carpark of his apartment block.

It could have some bearing on the case, she thought, trying to justify this course of action to herself.

She ignored that other little voice in her head which said to her that she was just plain jealous.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane

[capricornus-rex]

A Shadow of What You Used to Be (10)

Chapter 10: A Home Away | Cal Kestis x Irele Skywalker

Cal Kestis x Fem! OC

Requested by Anon

Summary: There is another! Years after young Anakin Skywalker departed Tatooine, his mother Shmi delivers a second child—this time, a daughter. Whilst the circumstance of the girl’s birth remains unexplained, Irele Skywalker has yet to choose the true path between those laid out for her.

Tags: Fem! OC, Irele Skywalker, Force-sensitive! OC, Anakin’s Younger Sister, Skywalker! OC, Darth Vader’s Secret Apprentice, Long-lost Sibling

Requesting to be tagged: @heavenly1927​

Also in AO3

Chapters: Prelude – 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 | Previous: Part 9 | Next: Part 11 | Masterlist

11 of ?

The maintenance droids only needed an hour to prepare a dorm for Irele within the command ship. Not that she would need a personal room in every ship she boards, but it would help if she did in the near future. The human guards did not need to wait for Irele to come to, they barged into the cell, pulled the poor girl by the arm to stand her up and then drag her out of the prison block while she could barely use her own two feet.

Irele’s eyes have not adjusted to the changing tones and gradients of lights of each part of the ship she passes through. She thought she said the question “Where are we going?” when the guards only heard an incoherent groaning at the throat.

The way from the prison block to her new chambers was a ten-minute walk, if one marched faster it would have been lesser. Upon reaching their destination, only one escorted her into her room and sat her down on the bed—to which she immediately fell limp and ended up lying down instead. While she was out cold, a nanny droid entered her bedroom to tend to whatever it can in the quarters; it took its time, in fact, until the girl came to. The droid’s sensors picked up the spike from Irele’s heart rate from slow to normal, it briskly turned around.

“It is fortunate that you’ve come to, milady. The serum from the probe has completely worn off. Should you feel slight nausea, do not be alarmed for it is normal as well. I can administer some painkillers to you with your choice of pill or syrup.”

The droid is programmed to speak in Basic and had a rather lulling, female voice—perhaps the most appropriate if you are to manufacture and program a droid for nursing.

“Milady? What are you talking about? Who are you? What are you?”

“You are here as a ward under the strict order of Master Vader. I am HY-L33, Nanny Droid,” it brought its head into a bow, “At your service, Milady Irele.”

“Why call me Milady when I’m kept hostage here?” she sits up and examines the room.

“Oh, you are mistaken, Milady. You are Lord Vader’s ward,” HY-L33 corrects. “And I have been tasked to take care of your basic needs and whims, if need be.”

“What I need is to go home! I don’t like being holed up in anywhere!”

The nurse droid lowered its head slowly, it stayed like so for a moment; with a rather sympathetic voice, HY-L33 responds, “I’m sorry, but I am incapable of fulfilling that whim, milady. I would suggest that you make yourself comfortable in this new one.”

Irele sighed, knowing that she’s talking to a wall here. She gave herself time to calm down and breathe. She passed her hands across her face and sighed.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be lashing out to you…” Irele inhaled. “What are you called again?”

“HY-L33, madam.”

Irele quietly parroted the name, “That’s a mouthful. How about I call you Haylee, is that alright?”

“If it proves to be more convenient for you, milady. Although personally, I do adore the name you’ve given me.”

Irele hummed as she managed a small smile, she hinted the chirp from the droid’s voice, relieved that she found some company out of the droid in this inorganic, cold room, she walked around to get a better feel of it now that the serum from the interrogation droid has worn off.

“Say, Haylee, do you know where we are?”

“We are aboard the command ship Anathema, the ship is within the Ulgoro system, and we are passing by the orbit of the planet Yelen.”

“How far are we from Tatooine?”

Haylee ran a quick scan from her processors, “We are approximately twenty-five parsecs away from the said Outer Rim planet.”

Irele breathed deeply, her heart sank, “That’s so far away…”

The droid’s photoreceptors picked up Irele’s increased heart rate and temperature. The girl was manifesting signs of anxiety: shivering hands, failing voice, and cold sweat.

“You are suffering from homesickness. Unfortunately, I do not have the appropriate medication for that, milady. Neither can I administer any medication for you. This is absolutely natural as you have been extracted from your real home to your current location.”

Irele took the deepest sigh and made a mantra.

Don’t lash out on the droid, you just screamed at it ten minutes ago.

She told this to herself mentally until she’s calmed herself down.

“Yeah, I am homesick. I left my family behind and…” she trailed off, realizing that the last people she was with were her friends. “My friends. They must be all worried sick about me.”

“You will be well taken care of here, Lady Irele.”

“Heh,” the girl huffed. “No need to be so formal. Just call me Irele.”

“As you wish… Mistress Irele.”

“Droids, gotta love ‘em…” she mumbled very quietly, knowing how acute droids’ hearing could be—depending on the model, that is.

–

Fortunately enough, Irele is indeed being taken care of.

Ever since she was moved to her own chambers in the Star Destroyer Anathema, she was thoroughly pampered—more or less—than anyone else in the ship, aside from Darth Vader. Never has she ever been well-fed in sixteen years! The serving portions were generous and they were quite tasty, but she had her moments where the food somewhat reminded her of home.

A uniformed officer enters Vader’s quarters to report of Irele’s adjustment to the new environment. Most of the officers feared that they’re speaking like a broken record, reporting the same thing to Vader every week—they had probably imagined it vexed him to be hearing the same thing over and over; it did them little comfort when adding their own personal observations of her such as asking for seconds with her food and interacting with the nanny droid, since she’s still shy and cautious from everyone else on board.Additionally, she was not yet allowed to wander off alone beyond her room. So, by all means, she is pretty much a hostage still—a rather pampered one, at the very least.

“Has she stopped her erratic behavior?”

“Fortunately so, Lord Vader, she has. Perhaps about a week and a half since her extraction, she had become somewhat… docile.”

Vader paused. He had presumed it was the effects of the interrogator droid’s syringe, but surely during the time the nanny droid was tending to the girl, the substance has flushed out since. Realizing that he truly knows nothing of what kind of person Irele is—compared from his earliest reference of her—he sighs with a quiet frustration under his mask.

“Very well. We are right on schedule. Carry on, captain.”

“Yes sir,” the captain bowed and dismissed himself militarily. His true posture showed when he rejoined his companion who had been waiting for him by the door. He hissed, “I didn’t conscript myself to the Imperial Fleet to be a babysitter!”

“Be more frustrated when Lord Vader does appoint you the official babysitter of the girl.”

“She’s quite a handful, don’t you think so?”

“Temperamental, to say the least,”

Only Vader and the droid, HY-L33, know what’s in store for Irele. Very soon, the plans for her life under the Empire’s wing—unknowingly under her brother’s care, or the walking shell of him perhaps—will be put into play.

For many weeks, HY-L33 patiently watched over Irele—especially in the medical aspect—and a mandate was programmed into her that once a diagnosis of the teenager would show optimum by the end of three weeks since her extraction from Tatooine, Irele would be considered physically eligible and be subjected to training. Eventually, HY-L33 was the only companion she has ever had in this ship since day one; so in exchange for medical knowledge and advice from HY-L33, Irele repays it with stories from her homeworld of Tatooine, but knowing that the droid is under Imperial property, she was cautious of what she ought to say, and rather told her adventures she had done on her own or with a friend instead of her family life.

“It seems as though your rigorous lifestyle has contributed to your increased stamina throughout your developmental stage.” HYL-33 commented once while listening to Irele recall one job she did where she would deliver goods door-to-door across the town of Mos Espa.

“Yeah well, I had to work. Because if I didn’t work, that just meant, I’ll be sleeping hungry—or if I’m lucky, with a half-full stomach.”

HY-L33, being the medical nanny droid that she is, went on to lecture Irele that it was ill-advised to sleep on an empty stomach for it will cause ulcers. The girl politely listened and heeded the advice, until she calmed down the droid that she had been fine for the rest of the time she was growing up.

She had only been staying for a week and a half. HY-L33’s sensors indicate a lesser trace of homesickness and anxiety within Irele, her body mass index has not changed drastically at all since her food intake was increased rather than imposing an eating strike—a few of HY-L33’s references cite that most human teenagers are more rebellious, especially when it comes to being fed after being thrown into a stressful situation. However, this was not the case with Irele, which made the nurse droid’s circuits cooler.

Eventually, the three weeks were over. Irele noticed HY-L33 seeming to be in full preparation. She did not mind this, but kept a close eye, until she could find the right timing to ask. After lunch, Irele went to the bath by rote, and quickly dressed herself in a dark gray shirt, black pants, and low boots.

Irele could truly sense something different in their routine.

“Haylee?”

“Yes, Miss Irele?”

“Is there something new added into the routine?”

“Yes, Miss Irele, we are about to perform a full health assessment on you. Please follow me and I will escort you to the medical ward.”

This was the first time Irele had been outside of her bedroom. For three weeks, she had been holed up in that metal room with no one and nothing else but HY-L33—to which she had grown fond of anyway—and then she finally comes out for a medical check-up.

Along the way, she could not look into the eyes of the crew, although she perfectly blended in with her gray and black clothes. She was nervous and afraid of what they’re thinking of her—because she felt like she knows what they’re saying about her, it’s a feeling that she can’t explain but it still manifests in her. Eager to avoid the stares and attention, Irele walked directly behind HY-L33 until they got to the said medical ward.

When they got there, the interior of the medical ward was a little bit brighter than most of the rooms in the ship. The walls were still metal, of course, but it was a cooler shade of gray which somewhat eased the people who are admitted and confined here—instead of the intimidating dark grays and blacks on other parts of the ship. At the center of operations was a 2-1B surgical droid stationed by a medical bed; it was approached by HY-L33 and Irele, when the droid’s photoreceptors saw the girl’s face, a deep male tone started speaking in a monotonous, continuous fashion.

“Irele Skywalker, human female, age is sixteen standard years, height stands at five feet and three inches…”

“Okay, okay, I think we got enough of my vitals already!” Irele interrupted.

“Were you briefed of your purpose here?”

Irele made a side-eyed glance at HY-L33, who didn’t move at all, “I was only told I was getting a check-up.”

“Correct.”

The surgical droid cleared out what HY-L33 failed to when they were still in the bedroom. It started with the physical examination—taking down her age, height, and weight, until it pored into analyzing the fluid levels and vitals of her organs to see if they were normal. It was all strange for little Irele, but she held up and did as she was told. She wasn’t getting hurt by the droids anyway, save the one pinprick that they had to do in order to conduct a blood test.

From Vader’s chamber, he was receiving real-time transmissions of the medical ward’s database. Whatever diagnosis the droids encode into the database under Irele’s profile, Vader saw it all firsthand—every revision, every new entry, every number.

Midichlorian count: 20,598.

Seeing this number and then recalling his impression on Irele baffled Darth Vader.

This child has lived sixteen years in a backwater planet, with a high midichlorian count… and yet her sensitivity is dormant.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Because I’ve read too many “Robert was awful to Aaron and Robron fans loved it but Ben forgives Aaron for bullying him and Robron fans hate it” comments about this story, I have some thoughts... (warning for an incredibly messy rambling post)

For me, what has always been most important is a good and entertaining story and the basic point for me in all of this is that Robron was an entertaining and fascinating story and so far, Ben and Aaron is not. 

Robert may have done awful things to Aaron throughout the affair, sure, but it was interesting. It was soapy and dramatic and made for a good story. Did he try and kill both his parents? Kind of. Did he tie him to a radiator and hold a gun to his head? Sure. (Although for the record, Aaron set the whole Lodge thing up and attacked him first and Robert was only defending himself and then panicked and turned into a crazy person having a breakdown but I digress...see interesting). I may have wanted to ring his neck with how terrible he was to Aaron after Katie’s death etc but it was always fascinating, complex content to watch and analyze. The fact that we saw all of this play out on screen too just makes it better, in fact, it’s key.

And after all of that terribleness, did Aaron forgive him instantly? No. It took months for them to be good again and Robert had to work for it. He paid for all of the affair stuff with getting shot and then he was Aaron’s rock throughout the whole Gordon story. And after all of that awful behavior, it was just as fascinating to watch him start to let all of that go and be able to support Aaron and not betray him like in that scene with Chas where he’s trying to get her to look deeper into the Aaron/Gordon situation after he knows the truth. The point is though, that there were months worth of story to watch unfold before Aaron forgave him enough to try again, before he trusted him enough. 

And we had another version of all of that with the one night stand and the break up era, months and months of content. 

With this Ben and Aaron stuff, it’s hard because obviously they’ve only had about four episodes so far and we really don’t know what they’re going to do with it or where it all might go, so I realize I’m judging it on very little, but then so are all of the people who are like “this is great!” so I feel like, for the purpose of this essay I seem to be writing, it’s fine. 

Now, I’ve said before, I have no real problem with them giving Aaron a new love interest from a story standpoint. It was always going to happen. This isn’t about whether I love Robron or not, it’s just about writing the show moving forward. It’s just that, above all else, I want it to be a good and compelling story. 

I mean, I hated the set up right from the start because I don’t know why this team thought the perfect or most interesting love interest for Aaron was a kid he used to bully, but that aside, the most baffling thing to me about the forgiveness aspect of it all, is that it happened instantly. And this is not to say that Aaron is not forgivable. Aaron has very compelling reasons for his behavior back then, reasons we’ve seen unfold during his time on the show. And Aaron is a good guy, we know that. And the thing is, I didn’t even dislike those scenes in which Aaron apologized and Ben got to talk about the bullying and how he felt and then seemingly forgave Aaron for the most part after. The scenes were fine. They were written decently and the acting was good. The issue for me, is that I don’t understand why you would seemingly resolve your conflict so fast from a writing perspective. It’s boring. 

I’m not saying more won’t come from it. Frankly, we don’t know until we see all of this play out but I get tired of seeing it simplified that we don’t like that Ben forgave Aaron over some bullying when we love Robon’s insane tumultuous relationship. For me, and I feel like for a lot of people even if they don’t realize it, it’s largely because the pacing makes no sense. Saying it just happened too fast is less of a critique of the character’s motives in forgiveness and more of a critique in just not understanding why they would bother introducing this conflict if they were just going to resolve it instantly. 

I do realize there’s obviously more coming next week but those spoilers half sound like a retread of the first two weeks of this and that’s not a good thing. My biggest problem with current Emmerdale is that every story just ends up being tediously repetitive, which makes them boring. I don’t want that for Aaron. 

Ultimately, what I want for Aaron, is for him to be a character that feels integrated into the rest of the show again. I want to see him have more connections. I want to see him getting involved in other stories here and there (yes I know, covid). I want to see him have friends. I want to see him actually go to work. I want him to be able to be a grown up and move forward in his adult life rather than continue to get dragged back to his past. Aaron’s abuse story is one of my all time favorites, but we’ve done that and we’ve revisited it multiple times already. We didn’t need to necessarily do it again with this. It will always affect him and that should be reflected on screen, but it doesn’t need to be a part of every story he has. 

Right now, I feel like my main investment in this current story with Ben, is just trying to figure out what they’re actually doing rather than caring at all about the actual content of it an that’s not a good thing. 

On another note, since I’m here, I just genuinely don’t understand the people who are finding any of this Ben stuff interesting enough to ship right now. There’s literally nothing there. I mean, I know I’m never going to ship it in that way anyway, but really what is there? Do they just think Ben is cute? Did they like that one scene of awkward Aaron asking him out? That just would never be enough for me, especially when you know what an interesting character Aaron can be. 

People claim to want a good story for Aaron but are also just like “I want Aaron to be happy”. First of all, Aaron hardly seems happy. He’s spent most of this just feeling bad about himself and apologizing. I mean, rightly so in some cases but I wouldn’t call that happy. Second, why do people want characters to be happy all the time? Especially in a soap? Happy = boring and no screen time. Even though Robron earned their happiness, I was still kind of bored by a lot of it. 

I love angsty Aaron and it’s not because I love seeing him miserable, it’s just more interesting to watch. Do I like when his stories have a happy ending? Of course, I don’t want him miserable all the time, I just want him to get good content. The angst and the struggles are what make the happy moments worth while. 

I don’t know, this is a rambling disaster but I keep wanting to yell into the void about things I read so I just thought I’d write it all down. 

I mean, on a boring story matter, I don’t understand all of the people who just want Aaron to become a youth counsellor and live a happy fulfilled life that way while he waits for Robert to come back either. Haha. I mean, maybe if Aaron was getting a spinoff show where that’s the whole thing and we can dig into the stories of multiple kids and find interest there but otherwise, that sounds incredibly dull as the D plot it would end up being. I mean, I could see Aaron fostering a troubled teen the way Paddy did with him and the show actually doing a better job with it than they did with Aaron and Liv with actual conflict that didn’t get resolved in a repetitive series of overly sappy scenes but that’s a whole other issue. 

Okay...I’ll stop now...(at least until I get the inevitable set of anon asks from posting this)

[geekgirles]

I Was Made For Loving You

Well, my dear @foxlanaeshrek​, as we say around here: lo prometido es deuda. This one-shot is based on our Rock! Branch AU. To be more specific, on your headcanon that Rock! Branch would sing rock ballads to Poppy. Hope you like it!

Branch had always known he was unusual for a Rock troll. 

 Despite his dexterity playing the most hardcore tunes with his electric guitar, he would often find himself playing more subdued and forlorn melodies. Sometimes even ballads that didn’t sound all that rock-n’-roll-ish. 

Even with his stern or even aggressive temper and his sarcastic mouth, always ready to deliver some snarky comments to whoever pushed his buttons more than what was medically recommended (basically, because most patients the doctors from Volcano Rock City tended to were usually sent there for messing with Branch in the first place), he had an uncanny ability for translating his thoughts in the form of the most beautiful verses. 

 Ugh, poetry. What a corny thing to do. If the other Rock trolls ever found out, he would never hear the end of it.

 There was also his lone wolf persona. One of the main reasons he’d been chosen as Queen Barb’s Captain, in fact. He was known for being level-headed, precise, infallible, independent, never needing anyone but himself or anything but his queen’s approval. He always got the job done. Always. And yet, he was so touch-deprived he could barely process what was happening when he received physical affection.

 Yes, he was unusual for a Rock Troll. But he’d never thought he’d be unusual enough to fall in love with a Pop troll. The Queen of the Pop trolls, of all people!

 Although, on second thought… He maybe should’ve seen it coming. 

 To make things even more unusual, Poppy was actually the only mission he had ever failed at fulfilling.

 He was supposed to send her people Queen Barb’s message, but just as he was about to, he saw her. The moment he laid eyes on her he was convinced he’d died and gone to Heaven, for only an angel could ever be good enough to compare itself to her. That voice, that laugh, those eyes, that smile! Any artistic masterpiece and its beauty paled in comparison to hers.

 And then is when he realised he’d been drooling like a hormonal teenager over the freaking Queen of the Pop trolls. Wait to go…

After finally delivering the message, he tried convincing himself that if meant nothing. He just happened to think the pink troll was hot, that’s all. It wasn’t like his heart would then threaten to burst out of his chest just at the mere thought of her, let alone having her near.

Except it sorta… kinda… low-key… high-key… did. It definitely did.

He was such a mess around her that he’d gone and made the greatest, most embarrassing mistake of his life; he’d recited poetry to her! He, a hardened Rock troll and second-in-command of the troll responsible for her imprisonment, had recited poetry to her, a happy-go-lucky queen who proved herself to be the biggest threat to their plan. And it that weren’t mortifying enough, the poetry happened to be about her. Because, why not? Since he was already digging his own grave, might as well engrave the words in his tombstone…

When he finally realised what he’d done he expected to be mocked. To be looked at as if he were completely insane (he probably was, anyway). To be laughed at… What he didn’t expect, though, was to be stared at with such single-minded devotion by a wide-eyed, blushing pink queen.

Her mesmerised voice somehow managed to bewitch and simultaneously free him from his trance, “Wow… Branch, t-that was… That was beautiful!” she praised, “No one’s ever said anything like that about me. Thank you, I also love your eyes.”

The smile on her face as she uttered those words was enough for him to realise his loyalty now laid beside her. And he’d be damned if he ever let anything bad happen to her.

Although, a shameful part of him had to admit he’d been drooling over how smothering hot she looked as a Rock troll. But nobody had to know about that.

And now that the trolls were finally united, regardless of the kind of music they worshipped, he was lucky enough to have won the Pop queen’s heart. He just needed to find a way to show how aware of his luck he was.

Luckily, he knew just the perfect thing. 

………

 Poppy still couldn’t believe she was dating a Rock troll. And what a Rock troll he was! Branch was everything she could’ve ever hoped for in a mate; he was smart, he was reliable, he was down-to-earth (something hard to find amongst her subjects), he had the most incredible voice! And he was, oh, so handsome. So, so handsome. She’d caught herself shamelessly devouring him with her gaze more than once. Her eyes would wander around his naked chest, completely mesmerised by his physique. Or her hands would try and touch that mullet of his, in an attempt to pull strands of hair because she could barely control herself!

But if anyone noticed and asked about it, it was always the same answer, “Oh, I just thought he had some fuzz in his hair, that’s all”, or, “Oh, I was just looking at your tattoo! I didn’t notice that one before…”

But most importantly, she loved the way he treated her. She never would have expected a Rock troll to be so caring, so attentive. But alas, that was Branch with her. And she loved every second they spent together.

Which was all the more reason to be excited about their date tonight!

The night before Debbie delivered a letter from him to her, asking to meet him at one of the clearings of Troll Village the following night. He said there was something he wanted to show her.

So there she was, dressed in a simple violet dress with pink hearts adorning the hem and a tiara to match. She could already feel her heart beating faster the moment their gazes met. She ran to him, knowing he would catch her in his open arms.

“Branch!” she greeted him as she nuzzled his cheek with his own, enjoying the embrace he had her in.

“Poppy”, he chuckled in response.

“It’s so great to see you! How’ve you been these past week?” Has it been a week already since she saw him last? How did she manage to survive that long?

“It’s been fine”, he shrugged before leaning in closer so he could whisper into her ear, “I missed the presence of the only ray of sunshine I need in my life, though.”

Touched by his beautiful words, she put a heart on her chest before pecking his cheek. He was so romantic!

 “So! What did you want to show me?”

 “Actually,” he started as he guided her to a picnic mat that was already set, “I think we should eat first and leave the best part for the end.” He winked at her, “Wouldn’t want to work on an empty stomach!”

 She just giggled before she complied, sitting down next to him.

 Their little night picnic was simply delightful. They spent hours doing nothing but eating, sometimes feeding each other; flirting, laughing, and generally having a good time. Finally, just when the moon was highest in the sky and the lighting was just right, Branch took out his guitar from his hair and began to play. After a few notes, he soon accompanied the melody with his voice.

Tonight I want to give it all to you

In the darkness There's so much I want to do And tonight I want to lay it at your feet 'Cause girl, I was made for you And girl, you were made for me

 Poppy certainly didn’t know what to do, she was still getting used to the Rock trolls’ customs and norms, not to mention their music. So she wasn’t sure how to interpret Branch’s song. But the more she listened to the lyrics, the more she could understand it was somehow… Beautiful. Touching even. 

I was made for lovin' you baby You were made for lovin' me And I can't get enough of you baby Can you get enough of me

Despite his cool exterior, Branch was freaking out inside. What if Poppy was weirded out by his choice of song? What if she didn’t like it? He meant every word of it as he was composing it, his feelings for Poppy resurfacing at full force as he wrote down the words. But she was still a Pop troll, and their views on romance could be even more different than their views on music. He just hoped the song was getting through to her.

Tonight I want to see it in your eyes Feel the magic There's something that drives me wild And tonight we're gonna make it all come true 'Cause girl, you were made for me And girl I was made for you

As Branch kept singing, Poppy couldn’t help but grin widely at him. This song spoke about them! About how he truly felt about their relationship! Her boyfriend was really too wonderful for words. Without even realising it, as if under a spell, she slowly rose from her seat, getting closer to him with every step. 

I was made for lovin' you baby You were made for lovin' me And I can't get enough of you baby Can you get enough of me

The moment he saw the smile on her face he knew he would do anything to see that expression on her face until his last day. She truly was too enchanting for words. But he was going to try and express how he felt through this song. Although he, himself, could barely keep the dopey smile off his face when she started getting closer to him. And the moment she started singing along? Hair, he was a goner.

I was made for lovin' you baby You were made for lovin' me And I can give it all to you baby Can you give it all to me

Oh, can't get enough, oh, oh I can't get enough, oh, oh I can't get enough Yeah, ha

I was made for lovin' you baby You were made for lovin' me

When the song finally ended and they looked into each other’s eyes they knew nothing needed to be said. As they leaned closer together, they sealed their feelings for each other with a kiss. They were truly made for loving each other.

[pkmnsdarkqueen]

Tempting the Crowns

Wasn't sure if I was gonna release this but then I got tagged in this, by @komala-scientist and like now I have to. Been desperately wanting to explore Karen in like the sexy times mode cause never have despite having her character for years. I want to explore both her adjusting to letting herself be there cause if all her trauma, but also desperately want to showcase how she is trained to use people and by proxy has used lust to do this. (unaware she's using her emotion reading from ho-oh link but yeah) The latter I haven't really found a good excuse for Karen to use in main verse cause she's trying to be a better person, but Twist would have no shame in doing it. Hell she would use sex to gain control often I imagine or fake having had it with someone if needed if it gave her control. Tho also....what if she did fall for someone? So was in talks with @tokiwagym awhile ago on something like that happening, and by proxy would also take their Giovanni to unexplored territory and yeah this scene has been living in my head rent free.

So here ya go hooligans sexy Karen....sort of.

(under cut cause long)

Too close.

Karen's mind pipped in making her freeze in place. The hesitancy didn't go unnoticed as the person she was with stopped as well. The mood between them shattered in an instant at they sat in the resulting dead air of silence.

"I think we've kept each other up long enough."

She announced pulling one hand away from his shoulders, realesing the hem of the pants she originally tugged him by, and slid of his lap. The emotions from him flicking from shock, disappointment, confusion, and everything in between as her feet landed quietly back on the red carpet. She couldn't blame him for it, they had gotten rather close. All of their fake intimacy having leaked into what was supposed to be private chats for logistical reasons. Ah these private chats, where they didn't have to put on the silly show of her fawning over him to lull the scattered followers back under his control. Yet they'd found themselves talking business, to playfully fighting all too easily. Sharing the bed tonight would be out of the question, she'd have to take the pull out.

"Did I do something wrong."

"No we both did. I suppose it was inevitable though with all of our teasing."

"Both of us? What do you mean? You were doing fine till, well if you're not comfortable-"

"That's one way to put it."

"Then let's fix it. We don't have to stop if it's fixable."

"It is, but neither of us are ready to fix it yet."

Suddenly her wrist was grabbed. Ah, surprising that hadn't happened sooner in their relationship, but she'd been strict about anything of the sort. Even now her gaze drifted from adjusting her clothing to swiveling back, slowly, with a cold stare showing she had no intention to speak until he let go. They stayed that way for a moment, but as his eyes wavered in a rare moment where he submitted to hers letting the pale wrist slip from his hands. Her demeanor relaxed once again, but the exasperation hadn't left his.

"Karen please, none of you cryptic shit, what was wrong."

He asked directly. The emotions were fascinating to read from him in that sentence. His demeanor was trying to be authoritative, much like the boss act he did so often, but the slips of genuine confusion and concern were making their way through the cracks she'd been working on exposing. Such substantial cracks these days too, if only he'd fully trust her. No it was to early for that....it was cute though...how he was still convinced he could hide hurt from her. Huh, maybe he did care some if he was letting her hurt him as she had apparently done.

Giving a slight smile, of shared disappointment Karen remained having eye contact with him for a second. Sighing she turned making dipping steps towards the door extenuating her own laments on cutting their time short. However she did answer him as he so politely asked.

"Our deal is so simple. Out there I'll be good, pretend to another loyal sap to you, hang on your arm like a trophy, and make sure this whole organization gives you the respect you had."

She reminded finally stopping at the door, back against it as she turned to him.

"But in private. We are equals Giovanni. I've struggled enough trying to make sure you understand that. You're cute when you're mad, but I don't like playing this game of who side am I on when I've told you countless times I'm on yours. Giving myself here? Well that'd be fulfilling our lusts, but how often have you done that with someone? I'd give you too much power."

Karen hummed sorrowful while her facial expressions stayed lightly smiling. A simple shrug with it, and her hand was on the door knob. That act had the other to his feet walking towards her in a hurry. His hand reached for the knob staying close to her before drawing it back. Ah, good, he was learning. Attempts to control her would only prove her point, and though the frustration of fighting his need for control was apparent in his body language Karen stayed put giving him the notice he needed to process.

"It won't be like that. What do you want to top? Is that the issue or something?"

He huffed clearly not wanting to be so blunt, but not in the mood to delay.

"No Giovanni. I want you to tell me you love me, and for it to be true."

She answered bracing for the wave of panic from him. Her eyes drifting from the knob up his now twitching hand, and finally his face. He didn't need to say his thoughts, she could practically hear them even without psychic powers. There was the basic ones of defense,'How silly, and juvenile to ask of him. How could she tell it meant anything at all? This was a pointless thing to ask." Only a bit deeper though sat his honest thoughts. The fear behind such a request, and the desperate beating of his heart that begged for that to never be on the table. However Karen wasn't going to waiver.

Her hand reached out slowly as if to avoid spooking some timid animal. Till gently her slender fingers wrapped around his tie. Her eyes focused on her movements running her hands up to re straighten it for him.

"Say that, mean it, and I'll say it back when I can because then I'll feel safe to do so. After that....then we can indulge since we'll both be trapped in each other's snare...equally."

She commented letting her hands linger by his neck a moment able to feel the increased heart rate through the shirt. Her eyes met his brown ones again, they were much softer when he was exposed like this. It was entertaining to her.Meanwhile her hands began to travel back down unashamed as the back of her fingers felt down his shirt.

"Till then, we both have imaginations to keep ourselves occupied. Though you seem to have something more personal to handle, and since sharing a bed, as we've done, feels cruel I'll take the pull out."

Karen addressed glancing down to send him a brief signal that his pants were doing a poor job at being discreet.

"No."

He snapped taking the door knob before she could return her hand to it.

".....take the bed you...you want proof I see you an equal, fine then. Just leave a spare set of clothes outside the door."

The meaning was kind, but the tone was one of an order. Karen didn't mind terribly recognizing it as his trying to regain a level of lost control after being embarrassed, and while still processing her request. Stepping to the side as he threw the bedroom door open to the living space she made her way towards his drawers where his nightwear was kept. Her own disappointment still clung to her some, but her mind was still taking in the emotions he had been trying to keep hidden while talking to her. As she came back she didn't have the clothing as asked having left that in the bathroom instead. Unsurprisingly she found him somewhat struggling with the cushions still flustered from the conversation.

"Hey, I left them in the bathroom. A shower maybe good for you. I'll get the bed set up, and make sure the pokemon are ready for bed too. You're giving me the bed, so let me make it equal by helping you."

She offered wanting to still validate his gesture. There was a hesitation, and a heavy sigh on his end before he turned to face her holding one of the cushion in front of himself. Heh, she noticed the blush.

"Fine....thank you."

He mumbled walking past her briskly.

"Welcome Gio."

[planetariumx]

A Stupid Love Story {Pt. 1/?}

Loki x reader (eventually)

Summary: After returning from a failed date, you find a certain god of mischief sitting on your couch. Oh and apparently he’s trying to play cupid. 

Warnings: um idk swearing? oops

A/N: so this is my first time posting my work on any form on social media so pls be kind (and also tips/constructive criticism would be much appreciated) idk if this is good, the idea is a little confusing but basically Loki is cupid (i know it sounds stupid im trying) anyway thanks for listening, enjoy my dudes

Masterlist

You were coming home from yet another failed date. You can’t even remember his name, he was only interested in talking about his ex and by the end of the night he was calling her to see if she was available. The asshole even made you pay for the meal, he said he was going to the bathroom and then just left. 

You were so tired of this dating thing, everyone you met was either too self absorbed or completely disinterested in you. Walking up three flights of stairs to get to your apartment, the elevator was still broken, you were so tired that you didn’t even notice that the door was already unlocked and slightly open. 

Walking into your living room, your heart stopped. There on your couch, flipping through one of your books, was an infuriatingly handsome man with long black hair and striking blue-green eyes that seemed to glow in the darkness of the room. 

Slowly backing up towards the door, you kept your eyes locked on the strange man on your couch. When you were almost at the door, a bright streak of green light shot past you and the door slammed shut. Understandably terrified, you tried to scream but no sound came out. By now, the strange man had stood up from the couch and was slowly stalking towards you. You tried to move but it felt like your feet were fused to the floor. When he was right in front of you, he finally spoke.

“You are home considerably later than I was led to believe. You are probably confused as to who I am and why I am in your home at this hour. I will try to explain to the best of my ability but I do not have time to help a mere mortal try to understand the complex details and reasons for my being here.”

Moderately offended at this statement, you glared at the man. He ignored you and continued with his speech.

“My name is Loki, Prince of Asgard, rightful heir to the throne of Jotunheim. I am here because I am in danger of losing my job due to your lack of success in the romance department. You may speak now”

You remained silent, utterly confused by this information. This has to be a joke right?

“Is this some kind of joke? Who put you up to this and how the hell did you get in my apartment?” You spoke sternly, poking a finger at his chest. 

The man Loki let out a long sigh before turning around to sit back down on the couch. 

“I will repeat myself only once so it would be in your best interest to pay attention, mortal.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“What? Mortal? You are a human are you not?”

“Well yes but I don’t go around calling people ‘mortal’, it’s kinda condescending and rude. Should I call you ‘weird man who showed up on my couch at nine o'clock at night?’”

Ignoring your comment, Loki continued.

“I am from Asgard, you have heard of that yes?”

“I’m not stupid. We learned about stuff like that in school, but it’s all a bunch of stories and myths. Now tell me who you really are or I’m calling the cops.”

“That would not be wise on your part, mortal.” You scowled at his continued use of the name. “As I was saying, I am from Asgard, it is very real despite what you may have previously believed. Many of Asgard’s people have duties to fulfill to help the humans of Midgard.” Seeing your confused look, he rephrased “Earth. I have been given the duty of helping mortals find a partner when they cannot do so on their own.”

“You don’t seem like the right person for the job, full offense intended.” You muttered the last part under your breath but he seems to have heard you anyway. 

“I have not always been burdened with this trivial job, I am capable of handling much more important matters but I suppose I am being punished for past mistakes.”

“What did you do?”

“Do you not recognize me? I was sure you were at least smart enough for that.”

Looking at him now you tried to find any connection in your brain that would tell you why he would assume that you knew who he was. And then it hit you. The attack on New York! How could you have forgotten about that? To be fair, you had been doing some traveling to get away from it all after a particularly nasty breakup at the time and there wasn’t much contact to the rest of the world in some of the places you visited. 

“I wasn’t in New York at the time, but yes I know who you are now” you said quietly. 

“Good. Now that the formalities are out of the way-”

“You didn’t ask me for my name”

“I already know your name mort-”

“Then how about you actually use it instead of calling me ‘mortal’ all the time!” You snapped

“We need to discuss business now. Odin will no doubt be very angry if I cannot complete my task so I am here to make sure that you don’t ruin it for me.”

“Hey it’s not my fault that I can’t find someone, maybe you need to try harder! Everyone I’ve been on a date with has been a complete asshole!” You shouted at him.

Loki just sighed, rubbing his temples. “I am not happy with the situation either but I would appreciate if you would be quieter, your voice is incredibly annoying and it is giving me a headache.”

“Well gee thanks! You really know how to make a girl feel special!” You said sarcastically.  “Look, I’m tired from yet another stupid date, thanks to you, so I’m going to bed. You can go back to whatever non existent magical space palace you came from because I’m sure this is just a weird hallucination that my sleep deprived brain came up with. You better not be here when I wake up.” And with that you kicked off your shoes and stomped down the hallway to your room, slamming the door behind you. You were too tired to even change your clothes, opting to just crawl into bed in the dress you wore on your date. The minute your head hit the pillow, you were out.

(that’s all for this part, I’ve got 2 more done and I’m just making some edits idk when I’ll post them. Keep in mind that I’m new to this so please forgive any mistakes. Likes and reblogs/comments are much appreciated! ♥️)

Part 2

[rankakiu]

Rant of the Droid: Miraculous Ladybug Season 3: Love Eater & Miracle Queen

Hello, people from Tumblr! How have they been in all this time? As always, I hope very well ...

Why honestly I am not.

The reason for that is that I recently saw two disgusting chapters that almost make me eye cancer.

Yes, like that!

As you will guess from the title, the chapters I saw early Love-Eater and Miracle Queen, both from the Miraculous Ladybug series and corresponding to the end of the third season.

But before I go straight to the point, I will say the first thing that must be said: If you, reader, hate the character of Chloé Bourgeois or have recently begun to hate her for the chapters they transmitted and think that all this text is to rant in Against her, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you've come to the wrong place. There is a wonderful little arrow on the upper left side of your browser that will take you out of my post.

Second, if you are going to comment on my post, let it be only on the condition that you agree with my posture. Even I know that this is extremist, but honestly, I don't want to and I don't have the energy to argue, just to give my point of view. Now, having said the above I start with my post to rightly discharge my anger.

First, the designs of the two Akumas are simply horrible. We have Love-Eater, having a disturbing design, but not in a good way, but seeing it throughout its chapter makes you uncomfortable. That and that in addition, its power is really pathetic. Miracle Queen better not to speak, in just a stick of accessories from the Akuma Queen Wasp. Astruc, old man, put more effort to Akumas designs, by God! This is just a scam of the greats, their designs are flat and do not impress at all.

Second, the two chapters, although they have a certain continuity, the truth be told, they have a narrative too rushed. Not only that, the chapters feel without substance, lacking in soul, they feel like filler chapters when they should have been more shocking chapters, since they are the ones that give the closing to the third season. On the other hand, the first appearance of Dragon Bug and Snake Noir had no more relevance than that of appearing as fillers, their presence had no impact. In addition, the action feels soporific and well below the level to which viewers are accustomed. Miracle Queen promised to be an Akuma of terrifying powers and in the end, it was only a mockery, since they defeated her in such an insultingly easy way; Only one more Akuma remained from the pile.

Third, and this is where I am going to download all my anger. Basically what they have done was destroyed the development of Chloé Bourgeois. We had little, but it was development after all, where we could see a slightly more human side in her. And with Miracle Queen, they make it a very empty and flat villain. In part, I understand Chloé's frustrations and the motivations for which she acted like this, but even with those, it is quite notorious and irritating that writers have treated the character like that. For a moment, when Hawk Moth convinces Chloé, we see the blonde doubt for a few seconds, for later and from nothing decide to ally with him. That felt too rushed and without context.

Honestly, I am increasingly convinced that they did this on purpose so that the fandom would hate the character even more. And more and more I think that Astruc is really burned to see people in the fandom that they hold Chloé in high regard. Because it is not enough for him to hate her, we all have to share his feeling of contempt so that he feels fulfilled.

Nice try Astruc. Your plan worked ... halfway, but it worked. It worked because I have seen comments from people who have already hated Chloé again and even their hatred increased much more after such a horrible chapter. But, and this is good for me, your plan also failed, since there are people, annoyed like me, of your questionable decisions and how you have ruined the development of my favorite blonde.

Because despite everything, there are some who still love the character in spite of everything. Indeed, we know that Chloé's actions are her responsibility and her alone. But it is her responsibility within her world. Here, in the real world, you and your team are responsible for burying her development. Astruc, dude, I don't ask you to turn Chloé into a Marinette 2.0 or a Rose 2.0, I'm asking for a development to become a decent person! Only that, you only had that job and did it that bad way.

Which brings me to this point: you and your team of screenwriters, with these two chapters, have just shown me that they no longer know which direction to take their work. Each chapter that premiered this season was a chapter that was highly criticized, each chapter contained its good doses of salt in the fandom.

Dude, realize that you and your team of screenwriters are doing things wrong! And the sooner they recognize it, the better they can correct the wrongs that have been sent!

I have reached a point where I no longer know what to do with your series. If I continue seeing it with the vague hope that now you will do justice to Chloé and in general to all your characters equally or if you will continue to make mistake after error that the only thing they generate in the fandom frustrations everywhere.

Do you know something? It is not to show off, but I consider myself a fairly patient person. However, as you will guess, like everyone else, my patience has a limit. And with these two chapters, I have run out of patience ... Not only patience but also the hope that they would do something significant with my favorite blonde. Well, in part they did, but they did the opposite of what I expected.

As a fan of Chloé Bourgeois, I feel scammed. I feel insulted and in fact, those two chapters are an insult to my intelligence and intellect. Basically, it is as if Thomas Astruc had made me a sleeve cut, showed me the middle finger, spit in my face, insulted my parents and not satisfied with that, to kick my dog. Those two chapters, especially the last minutes of Miracle Queen, where they completely destroy my favorite blonde were the most frustrating minutes of my life.

Throughout my life, I have seen many series, and this is the first time it happens to me that I feel cheated.

Considering the spoilers we have from the fourth season, the end of Miracle Queen is nothing surprising. At the moment there is evidence that Luka and Kagami will be akumatized again and I am already imagining the reason: Adrien and Marinette will break their courtship with these two. If my prediction comes true, it would re-confirm my theory that they no longer know how to handle the series or the relationships and dynamics of the characters. That at the end of the fourth season we will know which ship will win: if the Lukanette or the Adrinette.

And damn, we all know that the Adrinette is going to win, and we know it from the “Origins” chapter.

We do not even know the name or the real appearance of the new Queen Bee, but I am already beginning to hate that character since the most certain thing is that the development that Chloé needed, they will give it to her in a tray of silver. That's what bothers me the most when I think of the new Queen Bee. They would be telling me that it is her and not Chloé, the character I must support. Because she is sweet and not evil

Already with Marinette herself, Rose and Mylene we already had enough with sweet girls.

I insist again: what was the use of seeing all those scenes where they showed a deeper and more human side of Chloé if, in the end, they were going to turn her into a villain, what its I least wanted?

Astruc, why did you give me expectations that way, to destroy them in such a cruel way? I would have preferred you to leave Chloé like a flat brat and devoid of personality as it was in the first chapters of the first season instead to make this tremendous crap.

All the characters, at the end of the episode, have their moments of happiness and hope, all, including Mayor Bourgeois and Audrey (that, let's face it, that part of the script was taken from the back). Everyone except Chloé.

Chloé fans are waiting for difficult times. More Chloé salt post. More anti-Chloé post. More fanfics and more fanarts where they do bashing her. More people who will try to convince us to hate the character. More people who will leave us negative comments when we upload fanfic or fanarts where we just want to express our support and pleasure to her character.

I have already lost all interest in the fourth season. If it succeeds or fails, I don't give a damn. What I am going to do will be to look for summaries, in order to save myself twenty precious minutes of my life, and thus not waste them in a series that is no longer worth it to me.

Rankakiu in every chapter of the fourth season XD.

There is something I have to grant them. And they said that the end of the third season would have us crying in mucus. And you know they really did it with me. I have cried ... but from frustration and anger to see what they have done.

There is no more perfect GIF to express what I feel right now XD.

Well, that would be all from me. If you agree with me, do not hesitate to comment, fave or reblog this post.

Now yes, my frustrations have been released.

Greetings

Rankakiu

[noctusfury]

hi -- saw that you rb'ed a post from ao3commentoftheday and added your own two cents abt writing for a smaller audience, and i wanted to ask, if you don't mind: i started writing again last year 'cause i wanted to impress these big-shot fandom people and along the way, maybe befriend them. except one year later and that plan has spectacularly backfired in my face; to a point where i want to turn off commenting on all my fics so i won't be tempted to befriend anyone in fandom ever again 1/2

Before I start, I’d like to say thank you, anon, for coming by and sending me this. You’re officially the first person to send me an ask. So thanks for that.

And I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. But let me ask you something: Are you wanting to gain their attention to make friends, or are you trying to get their attention for other reasons?

The thing is, the reason why one must write for one’s self, rather than for others, is because if you don’t, you’ll end up having a great amount of stress and get angry, anxious, frustrated, or depressed because you’re not supposedly fulfilling the goals that you’ve set up for yourself. I, for one, am one of those people. There are still days where I get mad because I squander many hours daily on procrastination and on social media, when I was wanting to write fanfiction. The fact of the matter is... readers are greatly understanding of the struggles that a writer has and won’t judge you or pressure you needlessly. 

And trust me, friend, there’s been days where I’ve spent hours daydreaming about how popular my stories will become and I’ll have my readers gifting me fanarts and fanfics based on them. The problem is that in order to get that, one must earn it. And in order to earn it, one must sit down and write to the best of one’s ability, whilst ignoring peer pressure that shouldn’t exist. Only when fanfics get written that one is able to attract people of like-mind as yours. And, if you’re blessed enough, the occasional fan comes by and loves your story or characters so much that they gift you with something. But you have to get your stories on paper first. lol XD

But at the end of it all, at the heart of the matter, it’s an ego and pride thing. Most people WANT to be recognized and praised for their stories. It’s natural. But at the end of the day, it’s fickle and leaves you empty. It’s like gorging yourself on chocolate and getting yourself high, only for it to go and you’re left with nothing but the wrapper and no chocolate left to eat. :’( So, as annoying as it may sound to hear the “write for yourself” speech (as it did me), there’s a good reason to listen to that advice.

Then there’s the fear of your stories not getting accepted because they’re about tropes or plots or characters or pairings that aren’t mainstream. (I actually have MANY story ideas that branch from the mainstream and there are times when I worry that they won’t be popular. Until I saw just how sorely the Fandom needed such content.) I mean, most of my “fanfics” are basically fanfic poetry — a genre few people are interested in. So I didn’t think that I’d get anybody. However, I’ve had a lot of people come by and comment how much they love them and there have been even a few that stated that they hated poetry because they usually weren’t written well, but after reading my poetry, they began to start liking poetry and even begin to have a love for it and urged me to keep doing it. That’s just one example.

Would you like to know how I overcame this?

1) I read fanfiction to learn what made a good fanfic, and what made a bad one. And what people liked or didn’t like. And I’ve learned a lot.

2) I made sure to leave long and quality reviews to authors I greatly liked.

3) I corrected my mindset and my goals and my motives.

Actually, if you’re looking to befriend “big-shot” authors, then simply going out of your way to send a nice PM or “ask me anything” message (like what you’ve done just now), or even a quality review. Never underestimate the power of a good review or PM. Don’t be surprised when you have a couple of “big-shots” come by and thank you and then all of a sudden you end up PMing each other and become good acquaintances if not good friends with that author. At the end of the day, they’re ordinary people like us — not gods. ;-)

There’s a good story that comes with that. I, myself, have had several instances where I’ve became good friends or acquaintances with popular authors by just the simple action of leaving a kind and quality and helpful review or a PM. Even had a couple from readers who liked my nonfiction for certain Fandoms. But oftentimes, I leave behind a really great review and then the author comes by and is just so grateful and then, without us knowing it, we grew to chatting and PM-ing each other and become great acquaintances or even friends. In fact, there was one such “big-shot” writer who, after reading my review, came to chat with me and eventually asked me to beta their updates, to which I agreed.

Cke1st, one of those authors whom I’ve become close with, was an author whom I had read almost since he first started writing fanfiction. First as a Guest Reviewer, and later once I had an account and followed him. If I remember correctly, I had sent him a PM to ask him a question concerning one of his stories, and then we eventually fell to chat and exchanged PMs. To this day, we’ve been good acquaintances, and I still read and re-read his works. And I am still writing him reviews and PMs when I get around to it.

.

The thing that we must all keep in mind when wanting to interact with this “big-shot” writers is this: Do we want to be friends with them? For me, I was lucky in meeting people who had similar views and passions as I. But not everyone is like that.

An important and old saying that my mother had taught me growing up at an age when I struggled to make friends was “in order to have a good friend, you must BE a good friend.” The same applies here. If you’re wanting these authors to befriend you, you must make the effort to befriend them. If you’re wanting to establish a bond with them, then continue sending them PMs or reviews. Make the effort to communicate. If you feel like you don’t want to continue a conversation, then end it and move on to another one. Or if you just want to not be acquaintances or friends with that author, then stop PM-ing — or even reviewing if you want to go that far.

Also, be aware of time and commitment. How much time and commitment are you willing to invest in building a relationship with that author? How much time do you have to spare? How much time do you want to socialize versus writing your stories? We need to remember that sadly, as “big-shot” writers, they’re going to be busy — both with their stories and with their personal lives. So if they decide to befriend you, that’s a BIG compliment. And then, of course, there’s US — we also have to think about our own lives. But like with me and Cke1st, to reuse an example, there’s a lot of times where we start conversations and he decides to stop replying. I don’t take it personally, because I know that he’s trying to get writing done between his job at the railroad with psycho co-workers, on top of having a family of his own to take care of. I, myself, am busy at times, and thus aren’t able to review as often as I would like. Plus, health and energy are also contributing factors in my day-to-day life. 

And because these writers will be busy a lot of the time, it’s unlikely that they’ll be able to read your stories. A lot of writers end up being too busy to read fanfiction anymore, and not many are able to do both. I, myself, have had to drop reading fanfiction often in order to write fanfiction (which I fail and end up procrastinating and end up getting myself distracted with socializing). So if you DO end up having a big-name writer coming by to leave a kudos or even a review on your stories, then treasure it and make sure that you THANK the person!

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So, in conclusion, I would encourage you to keep writing and try your best, and write for yourself, or else it would be better for you to just remain a reader. If you still wish to attract people to your stories then make sure your writing is quality, that you take your time with it, use betas to help get second opinions and get your stories better, and breathe life into your stories. Trust me, a reader can SMELL and NOTICE when a writer isn’t taking their stories seriously and are being hap-hazard with it. They can even tell a writer’s motives just by how they write their stories or author’s notes.

So just be yourself. And be a good friend. And put yourself out there: leave a PM and/or a review, or offer a virtual “hey, how are ya, would you like to be friends” handshake. That is the only way to grow. :-)

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So sorry for this being so long, and I’m not sure if I’ve answered your question to your satisfaction or not, but I hope that this helps you. And thanks again, anon, for coming by and asking. That’s the first step. ^_^

[peeterparkr]

i don't know if you're taking requests and I don't even know if you write for pepperony but maybe Pepper remembering when he assigned the 'Pepper' nickname to her?

I usually don’t take requests because I usually am not able to write them, but this made me so soft. And you caught me in a writing mood,

 I’m sorry it’s really sad :( Pepperony :( 

word count: 1.5k 

Sprinkled. 

Virginia Potts had always been proud of him. It had been from day one that she knew that Tony was going to be both her most overwhelming nightmare and her loveliest of dreams. Anthony Edward Stark. Tony. Tones. It hadn’t come to her plans to fall in love with him. If she had only known she would’ve warned the clumsy and young and redheaded Virginia who had first walked into that office. Not to stop herself, no, she wouldn’t regret it, but a little heads up would’ve been good. 

She remembered it like it had been just yesterday, he was behind his desk looking at some sketches he had on it, he was biting on a pencil and mumbling something to himself. He was wearing an ac-dc t-shirt. He looked so professional, and just as Miss Potts had imagined him to be, not that this was the first time meeting him, but this was the first time really seeing him if that made any sense at all, it did to Virginia. She was feeling unusually nervous, her hands were sweating as she was standing outside his office and watched him from the opened door. She had a matching black skirt with a blazer which she had so neatly chosen in the morning and some black heels, her makeup was subtle, except for the fact she was wearing a bright red lipstick to give her a little bit of confidence. 

Suddenly seeing him so casual made Miss Potts feel self-conscious, maybe she had dressed up too much for the occasion. The red lipstick she was wearing was probably a little bit too obnoxious, she still liked it, however. She took out a handkerchief and cleaned it off, it was too much for the occasion. She had walked up with dignity and waited for Mr Stark to look up. He hadn’t, he was still talking to himself, making Potts uncomfortable, just slightly. 

Miss Potts had been working for a little while in the Stark industries and Tony-Mr. Stark had personally asked for her to be his new assistant. Of course, it was a big deal to her, Howard Stark’s son had personally asked for her. She must have done something right. An almost new secretary being called by the one and only? That was something Virginia wanted and was definitely going to swank. But she was also terrified of this, knowing damn-well that sometimes men in charge liked to take advantage of their said positions. Aldrich Killian had been the perfect example, and she was not willing to deal with any of that crap again. 

Harold Hogan, Stark’s bodyguard and chauffeur, a man she had met minutes before, walked into the office and Virginia moved to the side holding on to her briefcase. 

He grinned at Miss Potts before turning to Mr Stark. He frowned with a chuckle, knowingly. “Tony,” he said. 

Tony, not Anthony, not Stark not even Mr Stark. Tony. The man didn’t look up as Virginia still fidgeted with her briefcase. 

“Just a second, Happy,” he said. “I’m trying to figure out the correct way to say hello to the lady with the pink-kinda red smudged lips here who’s been standing there for 5 minutes without saying a word.” 

Virginia had blushed instantly and regretted cleaning off her lipstick, she cleaned the remaining lipstick with her hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you.” 

Tony chuckled as he finally looked up and smirked. “But you should have, Miss Potts.” 

“Well, you already know my name,” she smiled, getting back on her confidence. “So, I’m your new-” 

“New assistant, yes,” Tony finished her sentence. “I asked for you, you seem to have potential to help me run the company, you know it better than I do,” he said. 

Harold-Happy raised an eyebrow chuckling. “Oh, she’s running the company?”

 “She’s in charge of me so she basically is,” Tony chortled. “You’re the boss of me, Miss Potts.” 

“May I ask why it was me, Mister. Stark?” Virginia had been dying to ask since she had first heard the news. 

“I asked around, to see who was the most competent in here, and your name always popped up,” Tony grinned. “It’s you, it’s always you.” 

She chuckled. “Well, I’m glad I’m doing okay,” she said. 

He looked up at her. “Virginia sounds too formal, though,” he acknowledged as he looked up at her. “Virg, Gina,” he wrinkled his nose. “Hm, I’ll come up with something. By the way, the red lips look good.” 

Miss Potts grinned. Unbeknownst to her, she wasn’t going to have it easy. But with that, it had started. And suddenly Virginia Potts found herself worrying for a man who didn’t have his head on his head. She was mental, taking care fo Tony was like taking care of a child. Arranging his schedules and having to figure out ways to apologize for him being late. Picking up his dry cleans, and arranging his dates. Making reservations and then cancelling them because, of course, Tones didn’t have the time for them. 

“I like your freckles, Miss Potts,” he said once. “I like your red hair, it’s like they’ve sprinkled pepper all over on you.” 

“They’re waiting out for you, the conference started ten minutes ago,” she reminded him as she looked down at her notes. 

“Give me a break, Pepper Potts,” he grinned. “I like that one, Pepper, Pepper, has a ring to it, doesn’t it?” 

She smiled. “Miss Pepper Potts for you, sir.” 

It stuck.

The job apparently had been an ‘instructions-not-included’ package that Virginia hadn’t had the time to assimilate. It had been a nightmare, honestly, but getting to spend time with Tony-Mr. Stark made it worth it. Even if he was a bit of an idiot sometimes Miss Potts---Pepper knew that she was the one to get a nice side from him. Pepper-- realized that Tony was himself whenever he was around her. 

There was something she learned about him, however. Tony never rested. The man lived on coffee. 

Suddenly she found herself flirting with him, even when it hurt taking out the trash in the morning. It had become a non-pleasant routine that left Pepper heartbroken. Seeing how the thousands of women were flinging by and then she’d be the one to face them, smirk on her face. 

Pepper was the one to stay, she was aware of that. Whatever happened, she’d be the one to stay by his side, even if he didn’t like it. Pepper did whatever an insane woman could do, fall in love with him. But it didn’t matter, because he was in love with her, too. Even if they both tried to hide it, it was obvious. 

And he’d remind her how much he loved those freckles, and she’d be reminded every day that she was just his assistant. Until… she wasn’t anymore. Maybe the distance between their lips had just been unnecessary. 

And it had stayed that way, from when he got kidnapped, to when she stopped having her red-hair. 

He mentioned it. 

“So you’re not sprinkled with pepper anymore, except for your freckles of course,” he commented. “I like it, blonde looks good, Miss Potts, brings up the red lipstick. It’s like light, I like it.” 

And it did look good, so it stayed like that for a while. It has been blonde since. And she had been there for him, too. Every situation. Even if it was just 12% of the situation, or even if she needed a break from him. It was just like that, with Tony she needed to rest because he never did. Tony Stark was an adventure. 

In dark times, that’s when he needed his light. 

“I was never the romantic type, never the hero type, if I told myself a few years ago I’d be here,” he chuckled. “I would probably laugh at myself. But I look back, at everything, and I know it, the motivation to be a better person, the reason why I’ve been kept alive all these years, my coffee in the morning, the pepper sprinkled on my food,” he laughed. “You’re it, Pepper, you’re what’s kept me alive all those years, you’re the reason I’m awake, it’s you, it’s always been you.” 

That’s how he had proposed. They lived, quite a life. With Morgan, and with Tony not being able to sleep at night. But she’d be there, comforting him. Reading books with him, and she was finally resting. But he never did, he never truly did. 

“You can rest now.” And she had kissed his cheek. 

But now, Pepper looked at her blonde hair and she didn’t like it anymore. It had been difficult. Tony was resting, now. Had she failed to keep him awake? It had been the right thing to do. Maybe he had fulfilled his purpose. 

And she’d wear his t-shirts at night whenever she missed him, and she’d hug Morgan tighter. A blonde, sad but proud Pepper Potts. But something seemed off, Pepper Potts wasn’t Pepper Potts without reason. So she dyed it back red as if someone had sprinkled Pepper on her.

[signoraviolettavalery]

I’m new to the Roswell New Mexico fandom and I have noticed people,you, don’t really like the creator Carina and I was wondering why.

Ooooh boy. Would you like those answers in alphabetical order, chronological order, order of egregiousness, or order of how much they piss me off? 

I have a lot of issues with Carina, as do a lot of other people. Obviously, not everyone agrees with me, and some of my answers may be controversial (they’re the subject of biiiig debates in fandom). I have no intention of re-opening those debates, so what I write below is a summary of my opinions (many of which I know are shared by at least some others in fandom) for the purposes of answering your question. I’m also putting it all under a cut, because it’s a lot of negativity that some people may want to skip. 

I mention a lot of tweets and interviews in the answer below; I, frankly, don’t want to go searching for and linking to each interview and tweet (and also, Carina has me blocked, for reasons I’ll get into), but everything below has a source that I can find if you super want to read it yourself. 

So, here goes.

Firstly, Carina pisses me off because she is a white, straight woman who is writing about oppressed and marginalized minorities and, quite frankly, doing a bad job of it. She brags constantly about how progressive her show is, how much she wanted to include people of color and comment on things like immigration, how important the Malex storyline is to her, etc, etc, but doesn’t seem to be capable of (or care about) the delicacy, nuance, and care such issues require.

In a panel she did on Roswell (at ATX or NYCC, I think?) she talked about how she had qualms writing about marginalized people from identities she didn’t belong to; she said she was plagued by the question of “should I even be doing this?” Which she then immediately answered with, “but we’re doing it!” and that was that, and that seemed to me to be such a flippant way to answer the question. Like, you’re writing about people whose experiences you don’t share and your response isn’t “I’m going to do research and talk to people,” it’s “eh, I”m doing it anyway”? 

Then there’s the fact that when it comes to representation, Roswell has done a really really shitty job, engaged in harmful tropes, and thrown its characters of color under the bus. Carina insists that she consults with a lot of advocacy groups when writing about the experiences of undocumented immigrants and Latina characters, and yet. Liz simply forgives Max in the span of two episodes, even though he covered up her sister’s murder and was responsible for subjecting her family to racially-motivated hate crimes for a decade. Max, a white man, at no point acknowledges his privilege; he just pouts and whines when she rejects him until the Latina who was fucked over by his use of privilege just...forgives him. It is, in my opinion, incredibly indelicate and kind of insulting. She made the south Asian man (the only Asian character on the show, in fact) the borderline pedophile serial killer who violated Isobel for years, was creepily grooming both Isobel and Rosa, and murdered a bunch of women. She made the only black woman on the show (Maria) the plot device for an entire season: Maria had no storyline. She was there to give information to Liz when Liz was solving Rosa’s murder. She hasn’t known about the aliens all season and was thus excluded from the major show narratives. Her one defining character trait (her loyalty to her friends) was completely thrown away in order to make her a plot device for Malex (because let’s face it, Miluca won’t last and Malex will get back together). Narratively, she was thrown under the bus. 

And then there’s the queer representation, which...don’t get me started. She keeps talking about how much she loves Malex and how they’re her favorites, but she’s also very explicitly said that she finds happy relationships boring and that she uses fiction to work out her own trauma, which means that she’s essentially likely going to put the only same-sex ship on the show through an interminable amount of tragedy (because that’s what queer viewers absolutely need in this day and age). 

Plus, the idea of a straight woman using a fictional same-sex relationship to work out her own issue makes me really, really uncomfortable, because she’s made it clear that she fundamentally doesn��t understand the queer experience. She says she consults with advocacy groups when she’s writing queer characters (she won’t actually name these LGBT advocacy groups, which doesn’t make me sideye her at all), but I have doubts about whether she listens to them. I mean, she said, after the season 1 finale aired, that Michael going to Maria has nothing to do with her being a woman, even though she also explicitly said Michael wants something “easy,” and a same-sex relationship in Roswell, as it’s presented in canon, can never be easy. Roswell is canonically a homophobic, bigoted town, and Malex’s trauma stems largely from homophobia. Their relationship issues stem (not entirely, but largely) from them being the victims of homophobic abuse and a homophobic hate crime. Being with Maria means Michael never has to worry about any of those things, and the fact that Carina doesn’t seem to conceive of this is mind-boggling to me. 

Then there’s the fact that Maria...basically outed Michael to Liz, and this doesn’t seem to be a problem. Of course, maybe they’ll address it in season 2, I don’t know. But, Carina basically wrote a woman who has been best friends with a gay guy for more than a decade as casually outing someone (when she tells Liz that Michael is Museum Guy). The fact that this is a problem doesn’t seem to cross her mind for a second when she tells Liz, even though this is information Michael has never told her himself and they’ve known each other for a decade. It’s not something Carina’s ever mentioned in the numerous post-finale interviews she did. And frankly, it doesn’t matter who Maria outed Michael to; the fact that she’s capable of it when best friends with a gay guy in a town like Roswell, when Maria has been written as a loyal and understanding friend up to now, again suggests to me that Carina just does not comprehend the queer experience. 

(Also, technically, all the Isobel/Rosa hints, then it turning out that actually Noah was possessing Isobel, screams queerbaiting to me)

And then there’s the mess that is the love triangle. I’m of the camp that things that it’s complete and utter bullshit that contributes to the stereotype of bisexual people as promiscuous, though I know there’s people who think it’s good representation. It shows that she’s more interested in her particular (and frankly, kind of esoteric) storytelling preferences more than she cares about representation or continuity. The love triangle is, frankly, really badly written, and nothing about Maria developing “feelings” for Michael (or him for her, honestly) is in any way believable. Maria getting with Michael behind Alex’s back requires throwing out Maria’s only character trait (her loyalty and commitment to being a good friend). But Carina ~has~ to have her love triangle, characterization or continuity be damned. 

Speaking of storytelling, Carina is kind of...a bad writer. Look, I love the characters on Roswell, and I love the world she created, and it had some truly beautiful moments. But let’s just admit the season 1 plot was a mess. There were so many plot holes. Who knows what? Does Alex know Liz knows about aliens and vice versa? Does Alex know about Rosa, or just about aliens? Why did they spend episode 9 establishing that Alex is taking over project Sheppard to find the alien serial killer, only to have him be missing from the episode (1x11) where they find the alien serial killer? Does Alex know that it’s Noah? If Michael’s hand got broken right before he went to cover up Rosa’s murder, why did Liz think it couldn’t have been Michael “because his hand was broken then”? If Isobel is an event planner (a busy and demanding job) how did they manage to cover up her being missing for so many weeks? If Malex went straight from the museum to the toolshed, when did Alex have time to tell Maria about Museum Guy? What is Alex’s rank? (it changes from the pilot to the show). I could go on. Like, I just don’t have a lot of trust in the narrative going forward, in character and emotional continuity, in a fulfilling story for the characters I love, given that Carina seems to have a basic inability to so much as google (”my entropy changes”? that makes no sense), let alone write a story that makes sense. 

Part of the reason she’s not a very good writer, though, is because she doesn’t seem to like criticism. She insists she listens to it from people who matter and whose judgment she trusts, but, um, the mess that is the narrative suggests otherwise to me. The fact that she wrote in the love triangle suggests otherwise; it screams to me that it’s something she just had to have, regardless of whether it made narrative sense. She also literally blocks fans on Twitter who give her any kind of criticism. I don’t mean hate and vitriol, I mean criticism. She complains about how she, a public figure, a showrunner with a show that has millions of viewers, wants to log in to twitter and only see positive things and have fun interactions with friends. And I get it, criticism can be exhausting. But her job is literally to bring viewers to the CW. It is to tell a good story, and, if she wants to be as woke and progressive as she insists she is, it is to listen to different people - including fans. If she wants to shoot the shit with friends on Twitter, maybe she should get a private account. But I personally believe that she can’t use queer and marginalized characters to work out her own trauma, with no understanding of those people’s experiences, and then demand that people only ever praise her for it. It reminds me of the debate about criticism in fic comments, actually: some fic writers don’t want any negative comments. Which is fine if you’re writing fic for fun. Carina’s a professional writer with a TV show, who is getting paid. Insulating herself from literally any and all objections from the audience she’s writing for is, in my opinion, stupid, and also incredibly self-centered if she’s writing about people who’s experiences she doesn’t share. 

Honorable mentions, probably not worth getting into: 

She has like, a really creepy crush on Michael Vlamis, and even though she’s technically his boss, she’s constantly basically...thirsting over him on Twitter and Instagram in very uncomfortable ways

Max’s little speech to Michael in 1x11 about how he felt “everything,” every part of the abuse Michael suffered, and how guilty he felt about it, was just absolutely horrifying and tone deaf. Max, a character with great privilege, basically making all of Michael’s abuse about himself and how guilty it made him feel and acting like he can in any way share or understand Michael’s experience was just in every way gross, but clearly intended to make Max ~compelling~ and get the brothers to start talking and become closer and it just again shows a complete misunderstanding of the experiences of people less fortunate than her. 

Which, in short, all means that I have absolutely zero faith in Season 2. I’m not in the least bit excited for it. I think she’ll completely let us down, and I expect a lot more of the same tone-deafness and lack of nuance in relation to complex issues and marginalized characters. I think she’ll put us through the wringer, emotionally, for the sake of writing angst rather than telling a good story. 

Anyway, hope that answered your question, anon. 

[thefirstcourtesan]

The Royal Recap: A Tale of Two Houses

It’s time for my thoughts on chapter 3 of TRM and I almost managed to get this out before chapter 4 aired but Tumblr was working against me. Oops. But I was trying to catch up from the first two chapters, plus Halloween. Hopefully I’ll be on track from here on.

As always, I refer to both Hunter and Kayden as men because they are in my playthrough. I also refer to Kayden as Dante.

We open this chapter with the MC about to get ready for the Grand Hunt and our aunts burst in. Aunt Elise (the nice one) is apologetic. But Aunt Zya is unrepentant and she is also pissed that we are now officially the head of our house. Oops. Maybe we should have consulted them? Nah, they are terrible, they can suck it up.

Thankfully that conversation is interrupted by Renza. Interestingly, Zya seems a little wary of Renza and issues us a warning, and then the aunts depart and leave us with Renza, who is there to extend an offer from House Fierro to escort us to the hunt.

There is a large caravan waiting for us, including Dante (as a guard) and Hunter. We ride in a coach with Hunter and Renza and they, specifically Renza, wastes no time getting to business. But first, she hands us a glass of whatever beverage we chose in chapter 2. This girl is observant.

The twins ask us to formally align with them and support House Fierro’s bid. At this point, that seems like a no brainer, since Hunter has been kind to us and seems like a good man and Cyrus is gross. But I feel like as simple as that seems now, it will be less so later on. However, it’s not really a discussion, we readily agree to the proposal.

Renza informs us that with the support of the MC’s house, they now only need one other house to support them, either Beaumount or Nevrakis. Theodosia has a pretty undeniable crush on Cyrus and I wonder if that will come into play. But Renza has a bit of a curveball for us, our support will come at the price of a marriage arrangement!

Uh, what?

Turns out a betrothal is the best way to secure an alliance and Hunter has to stay single to secure a foreign alliance and Renza is already married (hmmm). So that leaves House Fierro’s new ally to step up and carry the burden.

Thanks.

The MC accepts, saying that we want to fulfill our sister’s dream and then Hunter asks about our dreams. He promises to name us High Chancellor and fulfill any wish within his power. Renza seems a little surprised by his offer, which is interesting.

Viola wants to know the identity of her parents while Livia wants her own lands and estates. Either way Hunter promises to deliver.

The conversation turns back to a potential marriage alliance. Our first target is House Beaumont. If we can win the tile of master of horse, Percival will likely offer us a suitor from his house. Ok, we can do this.

But first, Renza stops us and criticizes our dress. Diamond outfit time. Renza has us try on the outfit in the carriage. The outfit is cute though it doesn’t seem like that much more mobile, but what do I know? The dress is Rosario colours and I think the default dresses will rotate between the three houses. The masquerade dress was Aster colours, this one is Rosario, then next one will be Everhart and so on.

Livia buys it, Viola does not. If you don’t buy the dress, Renza decides that they have enough of a numbers advantage to manage. She also straightens our skirt and promises to find us a spouse. For Livia it is a husband, for Viola a husband or wife (nice touch, PB, acknowledging the player’s choices) and she also assures us that Hunter won’t let us have an unhappy marriage and that the engagement can be ended.

When MC points out that is not fair to the other party who entered the arrangement in good faith, Renza has this gem to say:

If I wasn’t already suspicious of her, alarm bells would be ringing.

Speaking of suspicious, we get to the hunt and greeted by a surly Damon who then stomps away. Hello to you too. Next up is Cyrus, who is condescending and gross at the same time. Unfortunately, he is also our host, which Percival points out when he approaches. If we are wearing the diamond outfit, he also comments on how prepared we look and either way he asks if this is our first hunt and offers us a dagger to protect ourself. First, though, he sharpens the dagger with a magic whetstone, our fourth magic item (useful, but I would still choose the cloth).

Cyrus and Percival leave and Dante brings over four horses, he will be riding with us to protect Hunter since Kendra’s assassins are still out there. Renza may be shady, but she has style. She hates the outdoors and lacks herself wine, cheese and pillows to get through the hunt. I approve (though I actually love riding).

Cyrus reveals this year’s quarry: our house sigil. So a wolf for Viola and a bear for Livia. This is obviously not an accident, which Dante comments on. This was chosen to send us, the newest and most vulnerable house, a message. Message received.

Once the hunt starts, Dante pulls us and comments he is surprised to see us as part of Hunter’s caravan and we tell him that we have agreed to secure the third vote, which he immediately understands means marriage. He wants to say something, which we call him on and he says it is not a place. Viola lets it go but Livia presses and he asks about whether we will be happy and there is a charged moment before Livia tells him that she will be happy to secure her house’s fortune.

The promos promised us a forbidden romance and they are definitely delivering. The longing, the class barriers, the sense of duty holding them back, this romance is going to be tortured and I am here for it.

Back to the group and since the quarry is our animal, the MC is knowledgeable about it and it’s hunting habits. Time to find a wolf or a bear.

First we come across Cyrus and Lord Pompadour and we make noise and throw them off the scent. Next we find Perceval and Theodosia caught in a trap and get them down. Perceval is friendly and appreciative, Theodosia not so much. Hmm.

We find a den and it’s time to look around, it’s dark, so Hunter lends us the last magical item: the glowing sun charm or basically a magical flashlight.

The den is empty and Hunter decides we should split up and look for it. Renza refuses to move but encourages the MC to go, setting up a diamond scene. You can choose to go with either Man or stay back with Renza for free. Livia went with Dante and Viola with Hunter.

We learn that Hunter was Kendra’s High Chancellor and that it is the second most powerful position in the kingdom. This is the position he just promised us, remember, so he obviously trusts us a lot after knowing us two days. We also learn that he didn’t want to take the position because he was too committed to pursuits of pleasure but he also makes it sound like those days are behind him and he is committed to being a good ruler and that could also be a fun dynamic.

The talk turns to the MC and how long we has been away from court and the adjustment we will have to make with Hunter offering advice from a place of experience. We also end up in a garden and have a romantically charged moment before Hunter pulls away.

Meanwhile Livia and Dante discuss their shared circumstances, him rising up the ranks for the guard and her as a scribe.

Dante helps us up a tree and we bask in the beautiful scenery and then the talk turns to the transition the MC has made and then we fall into Dante’s arms and have a romantically charged moment.

I liked both these scenes and how different they were. I like what we learned about Dante and Hunter respectively and the setting up for the respective romantic dynamics. Hunter is committed to putting duty over romance now despite their obvious attraction to us. While Dante is very aware of his position and ours and that will hold him back. There is so much potential for both romances and I love it.

Both diamond scenes end with us catching sight of our quarry and catching up with whichever man we didn’t choose. Working with Hunter and Dante, we capture our prey and we sound the horn, ending the hunt and are declared master of the Hunt.

After that follows an awful scene with Damon, who takes the task of “releasing” the quarry but instead takes the opportunity to warn us away from Hunter and threaten us by killing our house animal.

The one thing I am most looking forward to about the eventual reveal of the MC’s parentage is the look on Damon’s face because I hate him so fucking much.

Damon walks away and Vasco finds us, we tell him what happened just as the bear/fox/wolf’s cub crawls out in search of it’s mama. We then get a chance to adopt the cub ourselves or let Vasco take care of it. Obviously I adopted both pets. I actually switched Viola to Aster just to get a wolf.

The fox is cute but the bear and wolf are such fun callbacks to two of Kenna’s pets and I reused the names I used on TC&TF and called the bear Ursa and the wolf Fenris. After we bond with our pet, we leave him in Vasco’s care and rejoin Hunter and Renza where we tell them what their father did. 

Hunter is stunned and outraged, while Renza merely points out his lack of subtlety. Hunter walks away angry and Renza compliments us on a job well done and then Perceval approaches and offers us a suitor: Emery Beaumont.

For Viola, Emery is a woman and for Livia Emery is a man. There is no choice like with Hunter and Kayden, the game decides for you based on your expressed preferences because of this I don’t think Emery is an LI, but I am glad preference is taken into account.

This chapter was good. It introduced Hunter and Dante a bit more as LI’s and we got to learn more about them and explore the relationship dynamic. Damon was solidified as an antagonist while Renza showed herself to be shady AF and worth keeping an eye on. We are only 3 chapters in but so far, so good. The world building and balancing is well done so far and I actually think only have two gender customizable LIs could work in the book’s favour as it is allowing both LIs to be well developed and important to the plot.