#your allowed to have queer readings of her song lyrics

[esf-art-and-design]

Comprehensive list of Queer Pop Artists (wether through themes in songs or through confirmed ID) you could be supporting instead of throwing a fit over the fact that Swift is not gay and would really like if y’all stopped speculating (because it’s wrong to boil someone down to who they bone, and dangerous and harmful to out someone, thought we knew this as the queer community, but I digress)

List was created by a now deleted account on Reddit, so I can’t credit the exact person who created it

A Comprehensive List of LGBTQ+ Pop Music Act’s

additional reference: /u/[**frogaranaman**](https://www.reddit.com/user/frogaranaman/)**'s list divided by identity:** [**https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/c3rpga/happy\_pride\_in\_honor\_of\_the\_month\_here\_is\_a\_list/**](https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/c3rpga/happy_pride_in_honor_of_the_month_here_is_a_list/)

^(i divided by genre, so some people appear on multiple lists. I am not a musicologist; please do not ask me why i categorized an artist in one genre, but not the other. if the grammys never even get it right, how can i?)

**methodology**: i included artists who give a clear answer being a part of the community, have had it verified being queer and/or queerness some tangible way, have passed, and/or discuss queer themes in the first person in a moderate or significant part of their body of work. ^(i did not include comedy artists, so you will not see too many camp acts or drag queens here.)

**key**:

* *\** = person and/or representation of color, mostly black

* *(+)* = noticeably problematic

* *(#)* \- uses queer themes or narrators often, but not verified

if I missed someone, or misidentified someone, post a response with their name and genre. i will edit & include them.

​

# adult contemporary

* ben abraham *\**

* jennifer knapp

* will young

* sam smith

* billy porter *\**

* michaela jai *\**

# alternative folk & country

* orville peck

* adeem the artist

* tj osborne / brothers osbourne

* angel olson

* joy oladokun *\**

* sufjan stevens (#)

* evil *\**

* kd lang

* izzy heltai

* trixie mattel

* steve grand

* adrianne lenker (of big thief)

# alternative hip-hop & rap

* taylor bennett *\**

* snow tha product *\**

* zebra katz *\**

* shygirl *\**

* rob.b *\**

* tiger goods *\**

* naeem ***(formerly spank rock)*** *\**

* mykki blanco *\**

* princess nokia *\**

* mahawam *\**

* heems *\**

* saul williams *\**

* kalifa ***(formerly le1f)*** *\**

* omar apollo *\**

* keanan *(drill) \**

* drebae *\**

* cuee *\**

* junglepussy *\**

* angel haze *\**

* mista strange *(drill) \**

* the last artful, dogdr *\**

* dizzy fae *\**

* kelechi\*\*\*

* ilovemakonnen *\**

* kamaiyah *\**

* kidd kenn *(drill) \**

* leikeli47 *\**

* isaiah rashad *\**

* dai burger *\**

* azealia banks ***(+)*** *\**

* chicka *\**

* jaboukie *\**

* dapper dan midas *\**

* baby tate *\**

* kevin abstract / brockhampton *\**

* cakes da killa *\**

* iamjakehill / ur pretty

* cazwell

* lil lotus

* lil aaron

# alternative pop

* purple crush

* aurora

* st. vincent

* black dresses

* anohni

* maggie lindemann

* scott matthew

* oscar and the wolf

* steve lacy *\**

* dreamer isioma *\**

* vaultboy

* coco & clair clair *\**

* shamir *\**

* empress of *\**

* cat burns *\**

* kučka

* king mala

* lava la rue *\**

* devonte hynes / blood orange *\**

* jessica 6 *\**

* naeem ***(formerly spank rock)****\**

* adore delano / danny noriega *\**

* orion sun *\**

* dizzy fae *\**

* pvris

* japanese breakfast *\**

* dorian electra

* yeule

* kevin abstract / brockhampton *\**

* christine & the queens

* davy boi *\**

* declan mckenna

* yungblud

* jazmin bean

# alternative r&b

* durand bernarr *\**

* keiynan lonsdale\*

* frank ocean *\**

* noah davis

* serpentwithfeet \*

* joy oladokun *\**

* isaac dunbar *\**

* kwaye *\**

* steve lacy *\**

* kelechi *\**

* ray laurel *\**

* mac ayres

* orion sun *\**

* kyle dion *\**

* janelle monae *\**

* kelela *\**

* jeremy pope *\**

* syd / the internet *\**

* jamila woods *\**

* kehlani *\**

* mahawam *\**

* 070 shake *\**

* davy boi *\**

* destin conrad *\**

* michelle (band) *\**

* cat burns *\**

* coco & breezy *\**

* arlo parks *\**

* devonte hynes / blood orange *\**

* bartees strange *\**

* brayton bowman *\**

* bronze avery *\**

* cain culto ***(formerly ecclesia)*** *\**

* olivia o'brien

# SPOTLIGHT: arab, persian, & desi / south-asian artists

* the muslims *\**

* hamed sinno / mashrou’ leila *\**

* wafia *\**

* remi wolf *\**

* rostam / vampire weekend \*

* heems \*

* freddy mercury / queen *\**

* leo kalyan *\**

* lil darkie ***(+)*** *\**

* dounia *\**

* dua saleh *\**

* raveena *\**

* mavi phoenix *\**

* ray laurel\*

# black & urban contemporary gospel

* kevin terry \*

* mo heart \*

* resistance revival chorus \*

* james cleveland \*

* sister rosetta tharpe \*

* tonex / b.slade \*

* donnie mcclurkin \*

# blues / jazz / spoken word

* billy wright \*

* bessie smith \*

* frankie "half pint" jaxon \*

* big mama thorton \*

* johnny mathis \*

* ethel waters \*

* billie holiday \*

* little richard \*

* ma rainey \*

* billy strayhorn \*

* langston hughes\*

# camp

* iamjakehill / ur pretty

* jaboukie \*

* qaadir howard \*

# contemporary r&b

* whitney houston \*

* monifah \*

* iman jordan\*

* 070 shake\*

* bree runway\*

* coco & breezy\*

* dreamer isioma\*

# christian & worship

* william matthews\*

* semler

* ecclesia ***(now known as cain culto) \****

* sufjan stevens **(#)**

* jennifer knapp

* vicky beeching

* dion davis\*

* joy oladokun\*

* ethel cain

* julien baker

* dan haseltine / jars of clay

* ray boltz

# djs / producers

* kaytranda \*

* amorphous \*

* sophie

* mnek \*

* mike q \*

# electronic / disco / industrial

* woodkid

* robert alfons / tr/st

* bright light bright lights

* k flay

* beth ditto

* midnight pool party \*

* sylvester \*

* eartheater

* christine & the queens

* zee machine

* yves tumor \*

* passion pit

* the sound of arrows

* peaches

* fever ray / the knife

* hercules and love affair

* jessica 6 \*

* kele okereke / bloc party\*

* shura

* madison rose\*

* michael medrano

* shamir \*

* shygirl \*

# house / ballroom house

* little louie vega / masters at work\*

* azealia banks ***(+)*** \*

* tt the artist\*

* cake da killa\*

* kevin jz prodigy\*

* purple crush

* miss jay\*

* kevin aviance \*

* rupaul \*

# hyper / power pop

* 100 gecs

* that kid \*

* dorian electra

* mika \*

# indie & progressive pop

* mickey darling (#)

* fhat \*

* cub sport

* moses sumney \*

* kele okereke / bloc party\*

* minute taker

* morgxn

* shamir \*

* muna (\*)

* tawnted

* the aces

* rostam / vampire weekend \*

* this japanese house

* tinashe \*

* angel olson

* mothica

* peter thomas

* japanese breakfast \*

* lava la rue \*

* royal & the serpent

* michelle (band) \*

* semler

* pale waves

* perfume genius

* gabriel garzon montano \*

* declan mckenna

* the sound of arrows

* fever ray / the knife

* kali

* lava la rue

* girl in red

* bartees strange \*

* jake shears / scissor sisters

* ethel cain

* devonte hynes / blood orange \*

* purple crush

* tegan & sara

* oliver sim / the xx

* ssion

# indie rock

* kele okereke / bloc party \*

* cosmo jarvis ***(#)***

* oliver sim / the xx

* car seat headrest

* big thief

* now, now

* lucy dacus / boygenius

* rostam / vampire weekend \*

* boyish

* julien baker

* black belt eagle scout \*

* ethel cain

* courtney barnett

* pale waves

* joe talbot / idles

* le tigre

* john grant / the czars

* lava la rue \*

# SPOTLIGHT: indigenous artists

* black belt eagle scout \*

* keiynan lonsdale\*

* trixie mattel \*

# k-pop

* mrshll\*

* holland\*

* lionesses\*

* jiae / wa$$up\*

* wonho\*

# SPOTLIGHT: latinidad & latine artists

* arca \*

* ricky martin\*

* villano antillano \*

* cain culto (formerly ecclesia) \*

* tokischa \*

* mad tsai \*

* snow tha product \*

* 070 shake \*

* anitta \*

* kali uchis \*

* blue rojo \*

* pablo vittar \*

* maria becerra\*

* kaytranda \*

* omar rudberg \*

* empress of \*

* michaela jai \*

* willie gomez \*

* jessica 6 *\**

* mabiland \*

* princess nokia \*

* omar apollo \*

* adore delano / danny noriega \*

* omar rudberg \*

* adriano cintra / css \*

* young m.a \*

* gabriel garzon montano \*

* pablo alborán

* bentley robles \*

Also adding in general (not pop necessarily)

Elton John

Queen/Freddie Mercury

Lzzy Hale/ Halestorm

Taylor Momsen/ The Pretty Reckless

[andy-wm]

Andy, I dont think JM is queer, coz in WHO he is singing about a her, not a they.

She/her pronouns leave no scope for ambiguity.

Anon, that's like me saying 'Anonymous' must be your real name because that's who the ask came from.

Makes sense?

No.

No it does not.

If the pronouns were THEY, Jimin would be

a) slammed for being woke

and

b) not clearly telling you that he lives in a society that makes him think his love MUST be a she/her. And he can't find love, he can't find it anywhere.

If he had grown up thinking he could find love with (he/she/they... any pronouns) don't you think he would have found it by now? I mean, look at him, he's so beautiful and kind and smart. How could he not find someone?

Would he be singing songs about how he can't find love?

The way he specifically says HER tells you THAT'S WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES.

Please, Anon (not your real name, yeah?)

Please, for your future self, for you to navigate the information you encounter every day, don't just grab the first thing you see and run with it. Sure, consider your immediate reaction, but also consider what else might be happening.

Because theres always more than one way to look at a situation.

(Thats why we have a jury of 12 and courts of law, and we don't just let people claim revenge for perceived wrongs by vigilante justice. Because there's two sides to a story, and you need different perspecives to see all the angles.)

Critical thinking skills are important because often messages are hidden.

Sometimes it's because the author wants you to misunderstand at first, because their real meaning will have more impact when you discover it later.

Sometimes there are two different messages directed at two different types of audience (like kids movies with adult jokes hidden in them)

Sometimes it's because they actually cannot say what they really want to say because they aren't allowed to or because it'snot safe or because they simply don't want to be upfront.

In the case of this song, it's all three of those reasons.

Context clues tell us that this album is very queer themed. There are rainbows and smeraldo flowers everywhere.

Smeraldo flowers LITERALLY mean a hidden truth/ truth untold/ I couldn’t tell the truth.

The original posts about Smeraldo flowers are translated here:

You'll find this here: https://cafearmy.wordpress.com/category/flower-smeraldo-blog-post-translations/page/2

There are also clues in the WHO music video - the extended metaphor of the weather, and the rainbows and colour flares. These tell us THERE'S MORE GOING ON HERE.

Read the lyrics and also watch the mv and think about what you are hearing and seeing.

Follow the story and think about WHY everything is happening the way it happens.

The director didn't just randomly yell "ok dance! Now run a bit, now look at the camera, now sing!"

There's a plan. The plan is based on a story they're telling. The story has an ending that THEY ALREADY KNOW, but that we don't.

Until we've seen the whole thing and thought about it, and then gone back to see what we missed the first time around, we dont know.

Like Spring Day isn’t REALLY about the seasons, and Bapsae isnt about birds, and The Truth Untold isn't about growing flowers.

Go back and watch the MV with the audio muted and think about the story thr MV tells without the music.

Read the lyrics as though you are reading a poem.

Genuinely, i care about this (i am a school librarian Anon, i wouldn’t be one if i didn't care about how people interact with information) so listen and think about it.

Then come back and tell me if you still think he's not queer because the pronouns in this song are she.

Borahae 💜

[mastermindmp3]

Guilty as Sin? addresses the idea of emotional cheating, about longing for someone outside their current relationship. The speaker describes being in bored in her relationship, and fantasizing about a guy that she is texting* while her lover likely does the same**.

*In my romantic pirate heart, they're pen pals paramours as opposed to texting troublemakers. He "sent" her Downtown Lights, which could easily be read as being sent a streaming link, but I want to believe he sent her a burned tape. **As I've previously said, The Tortured Poets Department is an album in conversation with itself. The mutual emotional infidelity is only really implied by the speaker's questioning her right to be upset within Guilty as Sin? but is made clearer in other places throughout the album. Whether you allow other songs to affect your reading of the song is wholly up to you..

Diversion aside, I think the song touches on this theme very well, and I trust my fellow Department members will provide insights on the song's preferred reading in today's meeting.

In the reception theory of reader responses, a preferred reading is the audience understanding and agreeing with the author's (or producer, or lyricist, etc. ) intended vision for their media. Reception theory also says that readers can take oppositional and negotiated readings. Oppositional readings reject the author's stance entirely, while a negotiated reading may agree in part or whole, but still have their own "take" on the media.

Guilty as Sin? is intended to be about emotional infidelity. For the past few days, I have been analyzing the songs through their preferred reading. Today, I would like to destroy all of that, and present to you my Oppositional Reading of Guilty as Sin?

I know, very well, that the reading I am about to present is not Swift's intent, and indeed, I may be a koi swimming against the river's current. This post is not meant to be me saying that the song is my reading. I am within opposition to the text.

(I guess that technically makes this a negotiated reading? semantics—)

I am about to commit the cardinal sin of reading queer themes into a straight author's work. Crucify me if you please, but do so with the context that I acknowledged that this reading is not "canonical," to continue being biblical about it.

To reiterate, because this is the "how dare you say we piss on the poor" website. I do not believe that my reading is the intended reading of Guilty as Sin?

So:

When reading queer themes into straight work, I feel it is impossible to not draw from personal experience. This post is about Guilty as Sin? but it is also about me. It is about what growing up queer in the rural American southeast is like. It's hard to detangle those things.

I present to the department: A case for Guilty as Sin? as a song of queer longing. Half analysis, half personal essay.

On the surface, I feel this reading can be very simple. When the whole refrain is how can I be guilty as sin? and hegemonic Christian society deems queer love, queer living as sinful, the connection doesn't feel like that hard of a jump. The song travels through its religious theming, through the shame, through hushing yourself with the idea that thoughts don't count. The speaker works through those pains and repressions, so that she can come to the revelation:

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

What initially got me thinking about this song in a gay way was one of the opening lyrics. ( Well, no, what initially got me thinking this was listening to it as I was writing fiction, but hush. )

This cage was once just fine.

As a bisexual woman, there was once a time where I really, truly, thought to myself that I would never come out. It was fine, to be honest. I still like men, so I just had to pray that my one big love was a man. That way, I could protect myself from my family’s imagined negative reactions. I don't think this is a unique experience, either. Particularly in the south, we hold ourselves in for the comfort of others, and our own safety.

I cannot speak for everyone, but I feel like that fear of rejection is common amongst the people I know. It leads to caging our feelings; locking bits of ourselves away from those who once knew us so closely, in order to preserve their original vision of us. As perfect, straight sons and daughters, as kids who would grow into the molds set forth. And for a while, we can hold together like this, the cage is fine. 

But parrots pluck their feathers when kept under lock and key, and so too do we. 

I dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks.

Doesn't it feel like that? The first time you consider telling a parent, or any loved one, that you're not what they imagined. Like you could be dashing your chances at life. The image brings to mind that of suicide, of a “I can no longer live like this.” People thrown to the rocks do not survive impact, and often are disfigured, beyond recognition. It's such a visceral image for a song filled with longing. 

This song is textually about emotional infidelity, obviously, but I think it can also be about the longing we hold for the "unallowed." How we can both feel such beautiful love and hideous shame about the same thoughts. Repression is a funny thing, to smother the want can only make it come back harder, stronger.

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyways.

I said that the Christian imagery is part of what made me think of the song as queer, and I stand by it. A lot of queer art deals with the trauma of religion; the idea of being guilty for the way you simply are, for the way you feel, naturally, drives one to consider the opposite. What if our way of being is holy. I'm particularly brought to mind Fipsi Seilern’s Portrait of Virgin Xtravaganzah (and the portraiture's subject - Virgin X - by extension.)

The connection is not hard to make; masturbation, the song’s main premise, is seen as sinful, as is infidelity. And so, too, is being gay. They are shamed the same way in conservative Christian society, as if they are of the same level.

In a way, it's very Christian of me to take a religiously charged song about emotional infidelity and make it about same gender attraction. On the level of infractions to the Christian hegemony, same gender attraction may be worse, truly, than infidelity. That to touch another man or another woman is worse of a crime, than to betray the trust of your opposite gendered partner.

Y'know, as a kid, I used to get nosebleeds every time I entered my family's church. It was high in the mountains of Tennessee, and I was prone to them anyways. It was my first experience with the hemming and hawing of Christian southern women, tsk'ing at me. I think we stopped going when I was like, ten, partially because of it.

And I look back now, and think about all these things I have learned since then. The pain that Christian dogmatism, that bigotry has caused, to me and the communities I love so dearly. Still causes, in the name of saving our souls, or more likely, extermination.

And think about bleeding every time I crossed the threshold into holy ground.

Does that make us all guilty as sin?

Nah. Any guilt we feel is only a consequence of the spoon fed hatred, and certainly no fault of our own.

( It is interesting, that this reading absolves the narrator of the song, where the original text is more ambiguous as to the level of infraction that the Speaker has committed. The answer to "How can I be guilty as sin?" here is more clear, especially to this specific audience. Swift's modern demographics trend towards young, leftist, and AFAB. Additionally, there's probably a whole essay in that idea itself, how queer people are treated with the same ostracism as adulterers. Going further, why are these "sins," a state of being and a social infraction, grouped with far greater transgressions in the Christian consciousness. Were I not a Biology student, that idea alone would be an excellent thesis topic. )

A defense of the idea of Queering Straight Songs:

When my family drove up the mountain to church, I listened to my Fearless disc on a pink Sony brand CD player in the back seat. How often are our first imaginings of queer love to straight media? Through characters or through idealized versions of us or through the music we're allowed, we find ways to feel queer love like sidewalk dandelions. Some call them weeds, but we all know they're flowers, beautiful and beloved, capable of coming back year after year.

We live in an age where queer stories and queer art are so visible, where we can look at Queering the Map and see all the places we are. And will continue to be. And have always been.

I think, in a way, claiming this song about straight infidelity as queer longing is almost a full circle moment, for me. In a time where queer liberties are at risk, we are still so loud and visible. It's nice, in a way, that I don't have to do this.

There are so many wonderful songs about this same longing, about locking your feelings up and bottling them away, by queer artists, even in this same genre. I don't have to stretch to see myself in these songs. They're radio play, they're opening Coachella.

( Also, protect small queer art. Protect bad queer art, too, while we're at it. We are so lucky that so much of queer lives are available at our fingertips, but without archival and protection, it can also be lost. )

I wouldn't say queer people are braver than we've ever been - that's a disservice to the people before us. We have ages of proof that this music, this art, has existed, and repressing it cannot stop it. We aren't any braver than our ancestors, just more widely seen, and more widely heard. Queer music, thanks to the internet, and thanks to wide, social pressure, is louder than ever.

But that doesn't mean we still can't queer the straight music we love too. This entire post (essay, can I call it an essay?) is about reception theory and seeing yourself in the other's work. It's a time honored tradition to make a song about yourself, to make it gay - I played Lover on violin at a lesbian couple's wedding, and my uncles danced at their wedding to Endless Love by Diana Ross.

I leave you with a final story, based on my favorite lyric.

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh, only in my mind?

This line, in particular, made me feel many things, a rush of nostalgia and warmth. I've claimed many celebrities to be my bi awakening, but the first time I remember being attracted to a girl was at the Speak Now tour. She was a bit older than me, maybe 14, and sat across the aisle. Mid-show, she helped me write my favorite lyrics on my arm in the pitch black of Bridgestone Arena. I had seen the lyrics on Taylor's arm and got so excited about the idea, but my mother didn't have a sharpie. She did. In sort of loopy handwriting, she put, "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter" down my right arm.

With purple glitter glinting off tanned, grinning cheeks, with her Speak Now glowstick hovering over my arm, I don't remember her name, or even if I asked for it. But she was so kind, crinkling eyes black as obsidian, twinkling the stage lights in their reflection, and made me realize exactly why that lyric resonated with me so deeply. How it was what I wanted to be in the future.

And I could see my future with her, or him, or them. And it is impossible to untangle Swift's music from that.

It's all empathy, all the way down. The kind of empathy that, I am not sorry to be corny and say it, Taylor Swift's music begs you to have. To take these songs that are very much written from her perspective, and see our own experiences mirrored through them, that's what her music asks. To see that we are not all that different, and to connect. How rare and mundane human connection, how we rip out our souls to achieve it. Swift's talked about it extensively, the catharsis of spilling ink, putting pen to paper and voice to recording all in effort to be seen.

I think that's the big motif: I feel seen by Guilty as Sin?, I felt seen back then listening to these CDs. That's the sorcery of storytelling. As an adult, who is so comfortable in her bisexuality that I flaunt it, I still like to do these oppositional readings, to see myself in songs not made about me.

And that's why Guilty as Sin? is, to me, a queer longing kind of song. Even if it isn't.

[kittyt-hexxed]

I Can Be A Better Boyfriend - Final Part

Part One & Two

Warnings: Actress!Vi, Singer!Reader, Cute fluff, Ex-Boyfriend that doesn’t know when to let go, Teasing, Playful banter, Famous people things, Designer clothes, Keeping a Secret Relationship, Implied Sexual Tension, Jealous Ex, Great Friendships

Summary: Five years after you graduate college, you and Vi are having the times of your lives. You’re married, living together and your careers are only going up. You get invited to an Alumni Banquet for your college and it just so happens to be around the time your relationship with Vi is going public.

“The internet is freaking out and trying to find out who Violet Warwick is dating! You may know her from her debut series Arcane which captured the hearts of millions of people around the world. Or, from her successful boxing career in the Zaun Boxing Association. After fans begged to know if Violet and her co-star Caitlyn Kiramman were dating, the two actresses came forward denied it, and said they were strictly friends. Violet then divulged that she was in a relationship with someone but she respects their privacy and wouldn’t say who until they were ready. That sent their fans into a frenzy and now everyone wants to know… who is that lucky girl?! And is she being protected because she’s not famous as well?”

“Singer, songwriter, and one of the female members of True Damage - Y/n L/n - recently released a single that has fans raving! It’s called Violet Delights. The song is not only centered around queer love but there are some questionable lyrics that have people deep diving into social media. It sounds like she’s dating someone and it’s not a past relationship! She won’t answer any questions regarding whether or not she’s in a relationship so all we can go off of are the lyrics! If she’s taken, who is it and when will they go public?”

You look up from your phone and give Violet a grin as she laughs. The two of you have been reading through articles about your love lives all morning. Your song was a mixture of talking about your sexuality and your relationship with Vi. The fact that no one had yet to piece together that you were in a relationship with each other was entertaining. The two of you didn’t share pictures of each other on your Instagram and kept your personal lives under wraps. People had assumed that the two of you broke up when you both became famous. To hide your relationship, you removed your pictures and stopped mentioning each other. It went better than planned.

Fans got so caught up shipping Vi and Caitlyn together that no one acknowledge that she might be with someone else. The same thing went for you. You and Akali got shipped together after a video of you two playfully flirting went viral. Apparently, the fans loved the idea of two people from different singing groups dating and K/DA and True Damage’s views skyrocketed. So, your real relationship got buried and it was perfectly okay with the two of you.

Dating while being in two different professions was challenging, but you made it work. When Vi had time off from filming, she’d fly out to see you while on tour. Sometimes you’d meet in another country and spend a few nights together before parting ways. There were days you’d be too tired to talk or you’d blow up the other’s phone.

You fell deeper in love with Vi as time passed. The amount of effort she went through to be with you made your heart melt. She checked in with you about things she’d be doing on Arcane, asked if she could hook up with other women while you were out of the country, and communicated with you about everything. The two of you agreed that hookups were allowed but you had to regularly test for STIs if you did. Funnily enough, neither of you hooked up with anyone. You had phone sex or video-called when you were in the mood.

Three years into your relationship, Vi bought a house and demanded that you move in with her. It was in a nice secluded area that had a fence around it with a gate. So you said goodbye to your friends and moved in with Vi. It felt amazing to have your own place that allows you to come home to your lover. You were all over each other when the two of you were home. Shamelessly, there wasn’t a part of the house that you weren’t having sex in. When you wanted to hang out with Vi’s family or your friends, you would go to them. It was important to you two that you had the privacy of your home so you didn’t have to worry about anyone finding out where you live. You didn’t want to lose your privacy even though you’re famous. But, you knew that your relationship would come to the surface eventually.

“The fans are going to freak when they find out.” Vi chuckles, kissing the ring on your finger, “We’ve been hiding our relationship for five years.”

“And now we’re married.” You smile in amusement, shifting your position on her lap, “The records will be filed and available by the end of next week. I can’t believe we managed to hide this for two whole months.”

“People just don’t know that we have a connection to each other. The only way would be through Ekko since you’re both a part of True Damage, but we haven’t posted with each other… even if we’re at the same events.” Vi kisses your cheek.

“What do you say we spice things up?” You smirk, standing up, “Why don’t you give your fans a heads up?”

“What do you mean?” Vi raises an eyebrow, a mischievous look in her eyes.

“You can go live on Instagram and show off your ring, and tease that someone is with you.” You put a hand on your hip, “I’ve got those custom heels from Mel I can put on. I haven’t worn them yet, so only Mel would know that it’s me.”

“You’re evil.” Vi grins, “Let’s do it.” You cheer and the two of you head up to your bedroom. You talk about how you’re going to do it, laughing that this was going to completely blindside a lot of people. It takes a while for you to get ready because Vi kept kissing you and distracting you. Once you got your heels on, Vi playfully told you to keep them on and take everything else off. You giggled and told her that you might do that if she’s good. Vi had pouted and complained that she’s never good so it wasn’t going to happen. The two of you laughed so hard that you almost fell off the couch.

You got into position, making sure to sit where you were out of frame. Vi got things pulled up on her phone, placing it onto the ring light and she threw you a wink before going live.

“Hey, guys! How’s everyone doing today?” Vi greets her fans, before her eyebrows shoot up, “Wow, okay, I didn’t expect to get so many people on here so quickly. Anyway! I have an announcement that I think you should hear from me first…” It’s silent as she reads the comments that are likely flying by.

“What?!” Vi burst out laughing, “No, I’m not pregnant! I didn’t catch who said that, but you’re wrong. And, no, Arcane is not coming back for another season. It’s over now.” You snort and cover your mouth to stop yourself from laughing. Vi’s eyes flick to you and you can see the grin on her face. She answers questions while she spends some time waiting for more people to join. You always found it amusing to listen in on her lives, pulling it up on your phone to scroll through the comments. A lot of people flirted with her, asking her to marry them or shout them out which made you giggle. People did the same thing with you and Vi loved to text you during it and flirt with you. In the middle of one of her responses, you lift your legs and put your feet on her lap. Your wife immediately rests her hand on your ankle, slowly rubbing it while she continues talking. ‘Gods, she’s gorgeous.’ You smile to yourself.

“Who’s legs are these?” Vi pats your ankle, “They’re mine. I got a tan, can’t you tell?” She jokes. The image of Vi with a horribly done spray tan flashes into your mind and you can’t hold your laughter in. You burst out laughing, making Vi snap her head in your direction.

“I can’t believe that made you laugh.” Vi chuckles, massaging your ankle, “You were thinking about a spray tan, weren’t you?” You nod enthusiastically as you try to calm down.

“You’re adorable.” Vi grins, before she looks back to the comments, “Woah! Hold on guys, these comments are going way too fast. But, I’m sure I know what you’re asking about.”

“The person here with me is my wife.” Vi yelps when you playfully lift your foot and put it in her face. You giggle when she smacks your leg down and gives you an exasperated look. She looks back at the camera and raises her hand, “I got married! That’s what I came on here to tell you. I wanted you to know from me and not from the tabloids and gossip blogs. So, I’m here confirming it to you before it comes out. I have gotten married, but I won’t be saying to who quite yet. She’s a shy baby.” You gasp and gently hit Vi in the stomach and make her grunt.

“Okay! She’s not a shy baby, but she’s a mean one!” Vi sticks her tongue out at you and you stick yours back out. She lunges at you to grab your tongue and you squeal and dodge her, falling off the couch. “Oh, shit! Are you okay?” Vi laughs as you pout at her from the floor. You wanted to say something so badly, but people would recognize your voice so you motion to the phone instead.

“Sorry, guys! She fell off the couch.” Vi snickers and you flip her off, “Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. The two of us will be going live together at some point for the reveal. There is a reason we haven’t mentioned it yet, so you’ll just have to be patient. See ya!” She ends the live and helps you up from the floor.

“They’ll double down on their efforts to find out who I’m with.” Vi grins.

“Good. Let’s see if anyone figures it out before we reveal it.” You push her onto the couch and straddle her lap, “Does it still feel weird to be married?”

“A little.” Vi hums, “Mainly because I had to keep calling you my girlfriend in public.” Your phone rings, startling you, but you reach over and grab it. ‘Ava? Shouldn’t she be working right now?’ Vi raises an eyebrow and you mouth Ava’s name to her.

“Hello? What’s going on, A?” You answer, putting it on speaker.

“Y/n! Hey, babes! So, yes, I am at work-” You giggle, “but, I just got an email from the University about an Alumni banquet. It’s next Friday at 6 pm, and I know you don’t check your business phone on your day off so I wanted to let you know. It’s formal attire - so look your best, bestie! I say that like you literally don’t have a closet full of designer clothes.”

“Awe, thanks for letting me know! I’ll make sure to RSVP with Vi. Are you prepared to see your ex-boyfriend?” You say, making her groan in annoyance.

“Ew, no. I have to find the right outfit to wear so he knows what he lost.”

“Don’t worry, Ava. I’m sure if you text my sister and ask for a custom she’ll send you one.” Vi informs her, “Tell her the reason and you’ll be rocking a dress by Jinx.”

“Ugh, Vi, you’re amazing! I didn’t even think of that!”

“Anyway, we’ll see you then, Ava. Meet up at Jade’s to get dressed and hang out a bit?”

“Absolutely! It’s tradition! And you better not come wearing anything less than designer. I will scream if the two of you show up wearing less than that! The Alumni banquet is to show off where you’ve gone since graduation and make connections with the new students. Show off, bitches!” You and Vi laugh. Even though you’ve been A-listers for some time now, you didn’t like living that way all the time. Sure, you had your moments when you showed off but you lived in sweatpants and hoodies.

“Just because we’re famous doesn’t mean we have to dress that way all the time!” Vi whines, “Sometimes I want to feel normal!”

“Not for the Alumni banquet, you’re not!” Ava scoffs, “Anyway, I’ve got to go! My client is here and waiting for me. Love you, babes! Byee!”

“Bye, Ava! Love you!” You and Vi chorus before hanging up the phone. You two silently stare and each other before bursting out into laughter. What are the odds that your college is having a banquet the day your marriage records are filed? It’s like everything is lining up perfectly.

“Sooo…” Vi gives you a mischievous smile, “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to call my record label and push back the release of my song so we record a music video for it. I’ll have it come out next Friday at noon.”

“You want to throw it into people’s faces all at once?” You laugh, “Weren’t we going to film my music video for Violet Delights?”

“We can do that on the same day.” Vi grins, “We’re shooting at The Last Drop for mine. Do you have the scenes planned out?”

“Do I have the- Yes! Everything is prepared.” You pout, “This is my career if you’ve forgotten.”

“No.” Vi kisses your nose, “I just like it when you pout. It’s cute! Now go get your phone so we can get moving.”

“You owe me for this, Mrs.Warwick.” You purr playfully, caressing Vi’s cheek.

“I’m well aware of that, Mrs.Warwick.” Vi chuckles, pulling you into a kiss.

“I could be a better boyfriend than him. I could do the shit that he never did. Up all night, I won’t quit.” Vi’s voice plays through your stereo, a sultry, seductive tone that makes your body shiver. The first time you heard the song was on set, and you were frozen hearing your wife’s bedroom voice. Vi had smirked at your reaction, having chosen to sing like that since the song is for you. Recording the music video was torture and you were ragingly horny the whole way to your set.

“I’m gonna steal you from him. I could be such a gentleman. Plus you know my clothes would fit.” You sing along, hearing your business phone go off as you pull into Jade’s driveway. You finish listening to the rest of the song, reaching for your purse to dig your phone out of it. ‘There are already articles about Vi’s song and it’s been out for ten minutes.’ You giggle. ‘It never ceases to amaze me how fast bloggers and reporters get things done.’ Interested, you click on one of the screenshots that Vi sent you with a paragraph highlighted. It was from your favorite blogger, Lilith’s Underground, so you had to check it out.

“Vi took the internet by storm when she announced that she’s married on Instagram Live last week. It seems like she can’t stop surprising her fans! The actress just dropped her first song Boyfriend six minutes ago, linking to it in her Instagram story without another word. Her music video features Y/n from True Damage as the love interest and it’s a dream come true to see my favorite artists collaborating! It’s a sexy, seductive song and the music video follows that prompt. Longing stares across the dancefloor, lipstick marks on glasses, and a steamy make-out in the club’s bathroom. They look gorgeous together and WHEW that makeout scene had me hot and bothered. Ladies, I know I’m not the only one who felt like I was watching something I shouldn’t have been. But, at closer inspection… that make-out session seemed too hot. Here’s some food for thought… Could Y/n be Vi’s wife?”

You laugh, knowing that’s exactly what you and Vi had been going for. You wanted the tension to be felt strongly, and it was good to know that it paid off. Vi’s voice and the imagery from the video will be stuck in people’s heads for a while. At least, until your new song and music video comes out. Then you’ll both be the talk of the internet. You had seen a few people connecting your laugh in Vi’s Live to your interviews, but those had been shot down because you’ve never been seen together. The next few weeks are about to be the most entertaining when people are told the truth.

You hum to yourself as you get out of your car and head to Jade’s front door. After leaving college, you all made a pact to stay friends even though you’d be going off into the big leagues. You didn’t even have to bring up any concerns because they already knew what you were thinking. It felt amazing to have your friends stick around and not expect anything from you. They didn’t demand expensive gifts or that you introduce them to other famous people. They just did the same thing they always do - love you.

You wave at Jade’s security camera, putting your code into the lock and hearing it click open. There’s a bit of a struggle as you take your sandals off, trying not to drop any of the things in your hands.

“Let me get that for you.” Marie grins, taking the garment bags from your hands while Jade swipes your heels before they fall.

“Thank you.” You sigh in relief, giving each of them a hug, “I’ve missed you so much, babes.”

“We’ve missed you, too.” Jade squeezes you, “Let’s head upstairs, we’re getting ready in my room.”

“Is your boyfriend here, Marie?” You ask, walking up the stairs.

“No, he’s a fan of yours and doesn’t know that I’m best friends with you. I thought you’d be more comfortable without someone freaking out over you.” Marie winks, “He’ll meet me at the hall.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” You frown, “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Nah, it’s all good. You’re one of my best friends and you get swarmed by fans all the time. I don’t want that to happen at a safe place for you.” Marie shrugs.

“Y/n!” Ava squeals when she sees you.

“Ava!” You squeal back and hug her.

“Okay, we’ve got two hours to get ready. So, makeup first, hair, and then we’ll put our dresses on.” Jade says, placing your heels next to the others.

“Y/n, why do you have so many dresses?” Marie furrows her brow, placing them on the bed.

“One is Ava’s dress from Jinx.” You point it out, “And, the other two are also Jinx dresses… for you and Jade.” You grin slyly. Marie and Jade blink, staring at you for a moment before they start screaming. You laugh and calm them down before you’re suffocated in a hug. The four of you get to work with your makeup, taking the time to make sure it matches perfectly. There are conversations about each other’s lives and you’re more than okay with quietly listening to them talk. It’s nice hearing about their normal day-to-day and the things that come with that. Ava complains that her customers don’t listen when she tells them not to talk during part of their meditation sessions. Then there’s Marie bringing up how her favorite almond milk is always out of stock, and she has to drive ten minutes away to the other store to get it.

Sure, you have issues like that in your life, but everything you did was tinged with secrecy. Even after you and Vi come forward, there are still going to be things you have to be quiet about. You couldn’t go places without a disguise, but sometimes it could be fun. You just didn’t want to have to do it all of the time. Sometimes you’d like to go to a bar without needing to wear a wig, but your colorful hair was recognizable.

“Aaron recently asked to move in with me.” Jade sighs, “Apparently he and his girlfriend aren’t doing well.”

“Oh, damn.” You chuckle, tying your hair up into a high ponytail, “That’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.” You check yourself over, making sure there are no bumps. ‘I’m not going to slick down my baby hair, it’s so annoying having to wash the gel out every time.’

“Right?” Jade chuckles, sliding a gold hair cuff over to you, “I haven’t brought my brother up since you broke up with him.”

“It’s been six years since then.” Ava blinks, “Oh my Gods, it’s been six years!” She shouts in shock, making you all laugh. You had completely forgotten about Aaron after the last time you spoke to him. He had messaged you after you supposedly broke up with Vi, giving you his condolences while offering to fill in the void. You hadn’t even responded to him, just screenshotted the message, deleted the conversation, and sent it to Vi. She had called you laughing - even though she was on the set of Arcane - to say “I told you so.” After that, you genuinely didn’t think about him.

“Is he going to be at the banquet?” Marie asks, unzipping the garment bag with her dress. You put the cuff around the base of your ponytail and pin it in place.

“Probably, I don’t know.” Jade shrugs. You walk over to your garment bag and unzip it, gasping at the lacy, royal red dress. You and Vi had given Mel full rein of your outfit design, only requesting that they compliment each other. Carefully, you take it out of the bag and marvel at the golden lace. There were no dresses like the ones Mel made and you loved being able to rock them wherever you could. You slip into it, careful not to rip the lace with your nails, and smooth it down your body. The conversation moves on and you’re talking about your upcoming tour and other plans that you have. Then, it circles back to your wedding and that jogs your memory.

“Oh! Vi and I are going to be reposting all of our pictures together on Instagram. Once that’s done, I’ll be posting wedding pictures before we leave for the banquet. Would you like me to post any pictures with you guys in them?” You question, putting your gold heels on. You have to adjust the fairy wings on them so they’re not bent.

“I think it should just be about you two.” Jade zips up her boots, “You posted us on your private account, and that’s enough for me.” Marie and Ava nod in agreement and you smile.

“By the way, I can’t believe that Vi wrote a song about the night you two met! Aaron’s probably going to lose his shit when he hears it.” Marie laughs, “I know Vi has a nice singing voice but damn, I swooned when her voice was purring in my ears.” Someone’s phone on the desk starts vibrating and Ava reaches over to pick it up.

“It’s Vi, Y/n.” Ava tosses your phone to you and you catch it. You smile to yourself, pressing the answer button and bringing it up to your ear.

“Hey, baby!” You chirp, “What’s up?”

“So, you know I went to the venue early with Allie to help her with a few things. Well, Allie came running in a minute ago to say that someone leaked that you and I had RSVP’d.” You let out a groan, “Yup. There are paparazzi outside. The venue security came out and roped them back, but legally, they can hang around.”

“There goes a quiet banquet.” You sigh, getting concerned looks from your friends.

“Allie thinks it might’ve been someone from the college staff. You know, it would be great publicity for the college to show off that two of their Alums are famous and getting involved.” You can practically hear Vi shrug, “Do you need me to get you in through the side door?”

“No. No… They want a show? We’ll give them one. I’ll call Devon and ask him to pick us up. Would you be a darling and escort your wife into the building?” You smirk mischievously.

“Of course, I’ll escort you inside, my darling wife.” Vi says dramatically, “I would be a horrible spouse to let you walk in alone, especially when I know you’re going to look sexy.”

“Great, I’ll see you in thirty minutes.” You grin, “Remember, wedding photos go up-”

“-in thirteen minutes so there’s enough time for people to see it before your music video comes out. I know, sweetheart. I am the one who came up with the idea.”

“You’re adorable.” You laugh, “I’ll see you soon, baby.”

“Bye, sexy.” Vi coos before hanging up.

“So.” You clap your hands, grinning at the girls, “Who’s up for traveling in a limousine?”

You called your chauffeur, a really fun guy named Devon who’s been driving you around since you became famous. He was happy to come to pick you and your friends up, and you promised to pay him extra for the inconvenience. The girls were ecstatic to be riding in a limousine with you, the last time they did anything like this was for your wedding. It had been wonderfully extravagant, held at the Kiramman’s private island with family, close friends, and the Arcane cast. Violet had requested there be a lot of flowers, something she’s always dreamed of after her mother told her about them. You happily obliged as long as you could take a picture with the two of you in the water. Vi was more than willing to do it. The wedding decor was a perfect blend of you and Vi, and you couldn’t have been happier. You were surrounded by people you love as you tied yourself to your lover.

All of the pictures of you and Vi have been reuploaded onto your Instagram page. It warms your heart to have her back on your public account. ‘Now, all I have to do is post about our wedding.’ You smile to yourself. You carefully go through your wedding photos and videos picking out the ones you and Vi agreed that you’d post. She would be posting a whole different set so there was a reason for people to check out both of your accounts.

Your favorite picture was a candid taken while you and Vi played around in the water. Your wedding dress was soaked, along with Vi’s jumpsuit, turning into a sexy, wet dress look. Vi had dipped you, intending on plunging you into the water with a silly grin on her face. You were laughing, grasping at her upper arms as you tried to keep yourself above water. The moment seemed so full of joy and felt special. The big wave that doused the two of you shortly after the picture was taken was frozen in the background with a gorgeous sunset sky. That was the one you chose as your first image.

‘Your violet petals bloom in winter and bring my heart warmth. It’s been six years and I am proud to call you my wife, Violet Warwick.’ You write in one of your song lines and hit the post button. With a soft, anxious squeal, you open your bio to rearrange things and link Vi’s profile to yours.

“Ready to be in the spotlight?” You grin at your friends as Devon announces that you’re pulling into the campus. You’re sharing your ETA with Vi through maps, so she’d be able to see when you were close enough to come out. You had been told that some fans had shown up along with the paparazzi so you’re prepared for those reactions.

“There goes staying lowkey.” Marie laughs, “But, I’m glad we can do it in style.”

“We’ll go out first and then Vi can get you.” Ava winks, “We’ll do what best friends do best and show off for you. You know, warm up the cameras.”

“You better work it 'cause you’re rocking Jinxes. You might find yourselves with modeling gigs by the end of tonight.” You grin at them. The door opens and the camera flashes immediately start as Jade gets out of the car. You can hear shouting, please wondering who she is, and asking for her name. A minute goes by then Marie follows, the same thing happening to her. As Ava steps out, you hear the fans’ screaming kick in as people scream out Vi’s name. You feel your heart flutter, wondering what your wife is wearing.

The door opens a little wider as you slide over to it, and Vi gives you the brightest smile you’ve ever seen. Her suit is the same color as your dress with golden chains dangling down. Your eyes appreciatively look over her exposed chest and the fact that she’s not wearing a bra under the jacket. It shows off your symbol that she got tattooed between her boobs. ‘Gods, she knows how to make me horny, doesn’t she?’ You narrow your eyes at her and she winks, extending her hand to you.

You smirk, reaching out to grab her hand and the cameras are flashing like crazy. The screaming skyrockets as Vi helps you out of the car and you’re visible to everyone. You’re shocked by the number of people standing outside of the hotel, not expecting this big of a crowd. Your friends grin at you, waiting for you a few feet away.

“You look utterly stunning.” Vi wraps an arm around your waist and guides you toward your friends. Her hand not-so-subtly slides down to rest on your ass.

“And you look handsome, my love.” You caress her cheek. She leans in and gives you a sweet kiss, making the screaming even louder at her action.

“SHE’S WEARING THE SHOES FROM VI’S LIVE! SHE’S VI’S WIFE!”

“YOU TWO ARE PERFECT TOGETHER!”

“VI! VI! HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND Y/N BEEN TOGETHER?!”

“Y/N! WHO ARE THESE WOMEN WITH YOU? ARE THEY YOUR FRIENDS?”

“VI! MARRY ME INSTEAD!”

“Y/N! WILL YOU SIGN MY BOOBS?!”

“VI WILL YOU SIGN MY BOOBS, TOO?!”

You and Vi look at each other and chuckle. When you get to your friends, you pose with them for a few pictures. They’re getting their own questions like how did they get Jinx dresses? Are they all customs? What’s their relationship with you and Vi? You let them answer their own questions, enjoying seeing your friends eating up the attention. Vi takes you over to some reporters you’ve both worked with in the past - News on the Pilt - to answer their questions.

“Y/n! Vi! This is a wonderful surprise!” Jennifer grins at you, “Are you two really married?”

“We are.” You and Vi chorus. You hold up your hand to show off your diamond ring.

“We got married two months ago, after being together for six years.” You smile, “It’s been fun keeping it a secret, but I missed being able to show off my pumpkin.” You kiss Vi’s cheek.

“Wow! You’ve kept it a secret for this long? Why?” Jennifer gasps.

“We liked the privacy. No one was demanding to know about our relationship or speculating that we broke up or don’t love each other. We wanted it to be something between us for a while.” Vi responds, “Now that we’re married, it will be found out eventually. So, we chose to do it ourselves… although we weren’t expecting this crowd so we had to make last-minute adjustments.”

“Anyway, it’s time for us to head inside. If you’d like a full interview on it, you can get in contact with us later, Jen.” You blow her a kiss and head back to your friends with Vi.

“Ready to go?” Vi asks them.

“Definitely.” Jade chuckles, “Although, the other Alumni are enjoying this, too.” She points to other small groups of people talking with the press or with your fans. You chuckle and make your way inside with everyone. You’re enthusiastically greeted by the banquet’s hosts and taken to your seats. Allie had seated you and Vi together so that you’d be sitting with your wife. Otherwise, you’d be sitting by which degree you earned and the two of you would be on opposite sides of the room.

Vi is an absolute lady and pulls out your chair for you, waiting for you to get settled before taking her own seat. She places her hand on your thigh and the two of you spend some time talking together as people come in. The atmosphere is calm and collected with soft, classical music playing in the background. You’re greeted by a fair amount of people you recognize from classes, but most just give you a small wave before carrying on to their seats.

Your table ends up full within the next ten minutes, so you had some small talk while avoiding talking about yourself. You were used to spinning the conversation around so that the other person was the one talking instead. The others were eager to tell you about where they ended up so there was no issue with that. Vi was sneakily kneading your thigh underneath the table and you had to intertwine your fingers to get her to stop. She was very touchy when you were dressed up nicely, and you quietly whisper to her to behave herself. In a classic Vi fashion, she only raises an eyebrow with a teasing smile.

“Good evening, everyone! Thank you for showing up tonight.” Says the college president, greeting the crowd from the podium, “You have all gone and achieved wonderful things since graduating and it’s heartwarming to see you return to the community. We’ll have dinner first, and then the rest of the time will be to mingle with the students. Please enjoy tonight and don’t be a stranger. You were all in their shoes at one point.”

“Some of us are in much fancier shoes now.” Allie startles you, hugging you from behind and making you laugh.

“If you want to borrow them, all you have to do is ask.” You grin at her, “So, you’re working this event?”

“Yup, that’s what happens when you’re the Head of the Engineering Department apparently.” Allie shrugs, but you gasp in surprise.

“Allie! Oh my Gods, congrats!” You hug her again before punching Vi in the shoulder.

“What was that for?!” Vi gives you a bewildered look.

“You knew and didn’t tell me!” You pout, making Allie laugh.

“You know how your wife is.” Allie giggles, “Anyway, I have to make my rounds. But, when I come back we will be talking about me borrowing those heels of yours.”

“If you can even walk in them.” You tease her and she just grins at you before walking away. Shortly after, you’re served your dinner and you start eating. Once again, Vi’s hand is back on your thigh and you’re content to let her do as she pleases. You know that once you’re home, you’ll be under her as soon as possible. So, letting her hold your thigh helps ease her desire to haul you into a hotel room. ‘Although, she might do it anyway since her fingers toying with my panties, and we’re not even half an hour into this.’ You smile in amusement, catching Vi peeking a glance at you.

The conversation at the table eventually ends up making its way to you and Vi. They asked how Vi ended up with the acting gig and she admitted that it was for her boxing. She didn’t know she could act until they had her try some lines. If she wasn’t a good actress they would have her be the trainer instead, but she had knocked them off their feet. After that, her contract was signed and the rest is history.

Then came how you ended up signed with True Damage. You explained that you met Ekko at The Last Drop in the VIP section during your junior year. He had heard you singing and randomly asked for you to send in a demo. You had to sing for a few people, but they all loved your voice and you got some vocal lessons. After doing an official song trial, you were signed onto the group. By the time you finished explaining, it was time for the socialization part of the night.

“Excuse me, Ms.L/n? Ms.Warwick?” One of the hotel staff approaches the two of you, “Could you two follow me? We have a separate area set up for the two of you since we anticipate a higher turnout.” You sigh internally.

“Of course.” You say, standing, “But, please, it’s Mrs.Warwick. The two of us are married.”

“My apologies, ma’am.” The staff member gives you a kind smile, “If you’ll follow me?” You nod and Vi wraps her arm around you. The two of you are led through the room, getting awed glances and hearing whispers from the people around you. Not everyone here is in your graduating class, so they see you as more of a celebrity than a classmate.

“So, do you think this is going to be like a meet and greet?” You whisper teasingly, “Am I going to have to fight off your new suitors?”

“What? You mean you don’t enjoy people eagerly wanting to hug us and sign things until our fingers fall off?” Vi whispers back.

“Oh, I don’t mind that.” You giggle, “I’m just curious how bold these college students will be.”

The hotel staff sets you up in the room adjacent to the official one. People would have to walk through the official room to reach yours so it can be controlled easier. The room has a small stage, a photo area, and a fair amount of seats. You and Vi are handed microphones and slowly people start to trickle into the room. You have one-on-one conversations with them, talking about their aspirations and what they want to do in the future. Soon, there’s too many people but you continue to have private conversations with them.

Some ask for photos and others ask for a short video to say hello to their friends or family. You and Vi are happy to oblige, laughing and having fun with your fans in a more relaxed setting. Surprisingly, no one asked either of you to sing, but they did ask if your songs really were about each other. That leads to you picking up the mic and telling the story of how you two met, not knowing you went to the same college. After the story, someone asked if Vi would sing the song to you and Vi agreed to.

Vi pulled the instrumental version up on her phone. You had told her to keep the file on her phone, specifically for situations like this. There have been times where you’d be at a café or out when people ask you to sing. Since your darling wife is a singer now, she’d be going through that, too.

You were entranced by Vi as she sang, twirling you around and dancing with you. She sang softly, in a much more delicate way than she does in the official song. People recorded it and you knew you’d be seeing hundreds of clips of it by the morning, especially when Vi kissed you and everyone screamed. After that, all of the students were asked to leave so the last hour could be for the alumni to catch up.

“Dance with me?” Vi playfully bows to you, holding out her hand.

“I’d be delighted to.” You smile at her, placing your hand on hers. Vi immediately pulls you into her, and she’s twirling you around. You giggle as the two of you dance, enjoying the quiet moment in the empty room. You close your eyes and rest your head on her shoulder. It’s still amazing to you that you ended up here. Married to the love of your life.

“I love you.” You whisper, pressing a kiss to her neck and feeling her pulse against your lips.

“I love you, sweetheart.” Vi kisses your temple.

“So, you two are married.” You hear a familiar voice from behind you. Vi’s grip around your hips tighten for a moment, showing her annoyance.

“We are.” Vi responds casually, letting you turn after she relaxes her arms, “We never broke up. We decided to keep it quiet so people wouldn’t be asking us about it.” Your ex boyfriend stands there, his hands tucked into his pants pockets with an unreadable expression on his face. You catch the glint of his phone camera peeking out of his pocket. ‘Is he recording us? What does he think he’s going to get?’

“How are you doing, Aaron?” You ask kindly, “What are you doing nowadays?”

“Nothing much, but I heard your new song, Vi. And, I’m going to have to ask you to take it down.” Aaron says sternly, crossing his arms.

“Excuse me?” You and Vi chorus, taken aback by his words. ‘What makes him think that he can have it taken down? There’s nothing in the song that mentions him or gives away any personal details about him.’

“Your song is about me, and it paints me in a bad light. I didn’t give you permission to use it.” Aaron narrows his eyes at Vi.

“Actually, it doesn’t mention you at all. Your name isn’t mentioned, neither is any of your physical features. All it mentions is Y/n’s boyfriend. It could be anyone.” Vi shrugs.

“Besides, it’s written for me.” You add on, “Vi’s singing about the first time we met, which was the night of my birthday when you left me at the club.”

“There’s no harm, man. I’m sorry if the song felt like it was about you, but it wasn’t. It was a song meant for my wife.” Vi gives you a loving smile. You smile back and peck her on the lips.

“Well, did you know your wife was cheating on you with me?” Aaron grins, “When you supposedly broke up?” You and Vi burst out laughing.

“Cheating? With you?” You choke out between your laughter, “Not a chance!”

“Y/n sent me a screenshot of the message you sent her. She didn’t even respond to you. That’s a big reach, man. I don’t know why you’re trying to cause issues between my wife and I - maybe it’s because you’re recording us right now - but, we’re good.” Vi gently guides you to the door.

“So now that you’re famous you’re too good for normal people?” Aaron calls to you, “I knew you were shallow, Y/n! You lost a good thing with me.” You let out a long breath and glance at Vi. ‘If I don’t put an end to this now, is he ever going to stop? I’d like to move on from this.’

“Aaron. Look. The day you broke up with me, I was going to break up with you. I let you say all of those lies because I was leaving you in my past. But, you want the truth? You didn’t give a fuck about me or what I wanted to do. I put in all of the effort, planned our dates, helped you out with things, and what did you do? Nothing. You took me for granted. The night you abandoned me on my birthday, really made me see what kind of man you are.” You cross your arms, “Violet has been nothing short of amazing. She planned some of our dates, made time for us in her schedule, and was there to help me when I needed it. She flew halfway across the world to take care of me when I was sick on tour. Would you have done that? No. But, I would have done it for you. You lost me, Aaron. Not the other way around, and I’m happy now. I really do wish you good luck, but respectfully, you and I are done and have been for years.” You flash him a smile and whirl around. Only to blink at the impressed look on Vi’s face and the group of people standing her with their phone’s out - in complete shock.

“What the fuck Aaron? Just because she’s famous doesn’t mean you can harass your ex-girlfriend!” One of the girls snaps. Vi quickly guides you towards the exit and her grip on you is firm, signaling that she’s got plans for you. She doesn’t stop but maneuvers you through the crowd in the main room and to the exit. You give her an intrigued glance as you’re swept into the hotel elevator, and she raises a finger to her lips. You won’t have to worry about the girls. Everyone was given a room at the hotel so they wouldn’t be going home late or drunk.

You raise an eyebrow at her, but don’t say a word as you’re taken to one of the luxury suites. Vi pulls a card out of her inner jacket pocket and ushers you into the room once the door is open. You head into the room while Vi secures the door, no doubt making sure it's set to Do Not Disturb. There’s a small duffel bag on the floor and you take a peek to see a change of clothes.

“If you’re looking for your favorite toy…” Vi wraps her arms around your waist, and pulls you against her, “It’s right here, baby.” She whispers into your ear and a shiver goes down your spine.

“Gods, you standing up for yourself like that gets me hot.” Vi nips at your neck, causing you to tilt your head, “Why don’t I get you out of this dress and underneath me? Would you like that?” Her hands grab at your hips as she starts kissing your neck.

“Mmm, you know that I would like that.” You sigh in bliss, loving the feeling of Vi’s hot lips against your skin.

“That’s all I need to hear.” Vi purrs and the rest of the night is a whirlwind of pleasure.

When you wake up in the morning, it’s to the obnoxious ringing of your business phone. You groan and stumble out of bed, idly noticing Vi do the same as you take your phone out of your purse.

“Hello?” You mumble groggily.

“There’s one half of the internet’s favorite couple! You and Vi are all anyone is talking about right now. All of those students you met last night are singing your praises and your ex-boyfriend’s little stunt actually boosted Vi’s song to number one on the charts! No one can get enough of you right now!” Your manager, Harriet, shouts excitedly.

“That’s great.” You say tiredly, glancing at the clock, “Is there a reason you’re calling at 6 am? Do you even sleep?”

“Yes. And as your manager? No.” Harriet chuckles, “There’s a new movie being planned where Vi is starring as the romantic lead. It’s an enemy to lovers and you’re being asked to audition for the other female lead.”

“Uh huh.” You nod, glancing at Vi who’s also on the phone and barely staying awake.

“So, take today to sleep in and be lazy. Tomorrow you’ll be auditioning, and if you’re lucky you’ll begin shooting within a few weeks! Oh and send me your friends’ contacts! I’ve got modeling agencies contacting me about them.”

“Okay.” You yawn, “Bye, Harriet.” You hang up on her, turn your phone off and flop onto the bed.

“Do we have to be out of here by eleven?” You sleepily ask your wife.

“No.” Vi pulls you back under the covers with her, and you immediately cuddle her for her warmth, “I booked it for today, too. So close your eyes and go back to bed.”

“You don’t need to tell me twice.” You whisper, her body heat lulling you back to sleep, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, my wife.” Vi whispers.

[darlingian]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY

I was tagged by @energievie for today's edition of Weekly Tag Wednesday, where the questions have no common denominator whatsoever.

Let's start with the standard:

Name: c h a n i ✨

Age: I was born one score and eleven years ago.

Location: Winterpeg, Manitoba, Canada 🍁

And now, a set of totally random ones 😅

What's one of your go-to karaoke songs? Singing by yourself in the car or in the shower totally counts. Teenage Dirtbag by Wheetus at the karaoke bar. And What's Up? by 4 Non Blondes for belting in the car.

If you had the power to control one of the four elements, which one would it be and why? I've never seen more than the first episode of ATLA so idk what my answer SHOULD be. But water.

Think of one of your defining personality traits - which animal embodies it? A horse. I spook easily and have been known to bite the hand that feeds me.

Are there any fan theories that have stuck with you? Think of the infamous "Scooby and the gang are all actually high" I think the theory that the girls actually died in My Neighbour Totoro makes a lot of sense.

Name a movie you watched or a book you read as a kid that you were totally not supposed to watch/read at that age. Okay so I grew up with a lot of neglect and my parents didn't care what I watched (except I wasn't allowed to watch anime like sailor moon because it was too violent??) So some things I watched before the age of 12 were: Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Shining, Dr. Strangelove, An American Warewolf in London, Clerks, Dogma, Magnolia. And some of my favourite shows were Will & Grace, That 70s Show, Sex & the City, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Oh and my mom let me watch The Ring with her when I was around 8 and I had night terrors well into my teens because of it.

Name a food or drink that you totally hated as a kid and now you really like. Indian food. Hated the smell, the taste, the way it stained everything. Now I can't get enough.

How about one you still hate? Soft boiled eggs.

What's your least favourite chore? Dishes.

Do you have one that you actually enjoy? Vacuuming, scrubbing the tub/shower, dusting.

And to close it off, share a lyric or two that really resonate with you. "I might like you less now that you know me so well." -Leonard Cohen by Boygenuis

tagging @deedala @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @mickeysgaymom @heymacy @gardenerian @juliakayyy @crossmydna @callivich @stocious @ohkate @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @creepkinginc @sam-loves-seb @

[beautyofsorrow]

2, 4, 7, 18, 46

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

evil. evil question. why would you make me think about my multichaps. ok so i tried the intensive outlining thing, i really did, and it flopped so bad because i'm pretty sure i have adhd which, among many other things, means i need novelty in order to stay interested in a thing. but i also need STRUCTURE so i know where i'm GOING or i'll never FINISH so i have started doing this thing where i have the vague outline of what happens and then go from there. for without anesthetic, i had a pretty good idea of what i thought the first four chapters entailed before i ever sat down at the word doc, just so i'd have a measure of security behind this wildly ambitious idea. turns out it was only enough for three chapters and i am spinning my wheels a little on the fourth/fifth/sixth, but it's going so much better than my last multichap did, and i haven't abandoned it like my first. so yay! it's my own version of what i call the ann patchett method of drafting (see "the getaway car" in this is the story of a happy marriage for more details on that, dear mutuals who are not zanna). more adhd, but just rigorous enough to keep me from walking out. this seems to be working, but it's also nerve-wracking because oh no, what if i get ?? chapters deep and i've written myself into a corner? (the answer: girl calm down, it's fanfiction and you're supposed to be having fun)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

i rifle through the fridge at 10pm looking for a very specific food that does not exist and then get mad at myself when i realize i am gonna have to write it into existence.

see also: my love for the characters (/horny and emotional). a desperate need for non-romantic sexually intimate relationships in media. upsetting plotholes in canon. deranged character dynamics. weird takes on popular tropes. religious trauma. family estrangement. being queer. i also read a lot of books and find plenty of sparks ideas juice inside them, usually in their style and execution. i looooooooove studying form and how it influences a book's plot.

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

whatever best serves the story! and/or whatever i feel i can handle best in a given moment. for example, the first time i tried my hand at sex pollen (drown me in glitter, glitter and gold) i had no fucking clue how to write from a sex-pollened person's POV, so the answer was to stay in la'an's head the entire fic. that let me get really comfy with the story so that by the time i had to write her being all high on horny juice, it flowed much more easily than if i had started in una's POV, who's dosed from the start. also, it was a much better, funnier, and stronger fic that way. la'an's mortification really came through and allowed me to hit a lot of comedic beats i wouldn't have been able to hit due to una's temporary plunge into angst.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

i do all three lol. mostly during and after. sometimes i'll have one from the start and it will stick; other times it will change to something else halfway through. many many times i will come screaming into ur DMs complaining about being done with a fic but not having title tags or summary. i started keeping a file in my notes app of lines of poetry i love, and i'll occasionally plunder them for titles. i'll also yoink song lyrics (just give me trust and watch what'll happen), riff on character quotes or episode titles (without anesthetic, ad astra), or rotate the fic in my head until something appropriately vibe-y presents itself (dress me down and hold me open, aces wild, stitch)

46. How would you describe your style?

contemplative, lyric and/or comedic (depending on the fic), & character-driven

[spaceytingz]

Rank the entire emotion era from best to worst. Reasons why are optional but welcomed.

OKAYYYY lemme queue up the two projects

edit: fuck you hoe this was too hard

and the stupid tumblr post writer crashed twice so i'm rewriting this

anyways:

#1. Your Type

I'm kinda lost for words here. This song is screaming cause you've held everything in for too long. Glitter and sweat under neon lights. Tears and lipgloss mixing. Dancing on your own. Stars and galaxies and time. Time. Someone once said that she sings this song as if she'd singlehandedly create time in order to make the impossible possible and I think that's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. Helps that it's true too. I've always been attracted to desperation in songs and there's something in Your Type's depiction of pain and inadequateness that I haven't heard anywhere else. She has accepted her situation but she still delivers her confession, be it to her actual object of affection, to us, or to herself, it doesn't really matter. It's the act of storytelling, laying her heart out in a melodramatic and theatrical way that I really enjoy. Carly's feelings are always more grand and important than their target and this is best shown in this song. Nothing I could ever say would be enough to describe this song. I'd make time for it.

Favorite moment: My favorite lyrics of all time: "I bet she acts so perfectly. You probably eat up every word she says. And if you ever think of me, I bet I'm just a flicker in your head."

#2. Fever

As you can probably tell, I really enjoy Carly being hurt on songs. This is one of very few songs where Carly expresses anger - and I can't get enough of it. Her switching between vulnerability and vengeance is incredibly satisfying to me, the storytelling is great and I really like the melodrama of it all - stealing his bike, feeling the fever forever. It's these kinds of extremes that make life fun, devastating and worth living, and they're what makes her music forever amazing to me.

Favorite moment: Honestly, everything, but if I had to pick one, it would be the "don't break my heart tonight" bridge.

#3. Cry

It's Cry. My favorite genre of Carly songs, as you've probably guessed by the top 2 is devastating songs with sunny/kinda positive production, and Cry is no exception. There's just something about this song that makes it timeless. It's the beautiful devastation to Fever's frustrated mania. It seems otherworldly in a way the other songs on Side B are not.

Favorite moment: WAKE UP WITHOUT YOU! WAKE UP WITHOUT YOU! WAKE UP WITHOUT YOU! I WAKE UP WITHOUT YOU, BOY!

#4. Let's Get Lost

I could write about how much I enjoy every single aspect of this song - the bombastic chorus, the giddiness of it all, the vulnerability similar to Your Type, but I think there's a more interesting aspect to it. Let's Get Lost is ultimately a song about fantasy. Carly has suffered and kept her heart hidden until now - her desires and pining have taken ahold of her as she describes her ultimate wish. However, we're not sure if her proposition gets accepted or if she even delivers it - but it doesn't matter. The act of wanting and dreaming is greater and better than anything that could or could not happen. The way she describes it makes it seem like it's destiny - it lives outside of time, happening and not happening all the time. In a sense, the emotion of her anticipating it is greater than anything else and it allows her to live through the catharsis of experiencing it forever. Of course, despite it all, this song would not be so high if it wasn't for her delivery. Everything about this song is giddy, I once read that Carly has a tendency to describe ordinary acts as sinful and tempting and I think it really works in her favor. She's after the Forbidden Fruit, and even if it's not so forbidden, she can convince us it is (also it's a quite good queer metaphor).

Favorite moment: "I was always shy and careful, always sure that you would never look at me. Never wanted to discourage anything your eyes encouraged silently."

#5. Cut To The Feeling

I honestly don't know where to place this one, but this song is a rare example of one of an artist's best songs making it big. Cut To The Feeling is the best song to describe Carly as an artist - it's joyful, euphoric, makes you wanna fly and live forever through your emotions and what-could-have-beens. Blue and pink skies, rush of energy, the sun. Cut To The Feeling.

Favorite moment: Every single part.

#6. The One

This is the EPITOME of pining. The self-doubt, the succumbing to her desires, the thinly veiled need to stay in control..... Everything about this song is IMMACULATE. Carly fighting against her own feelings is truly a sight to behold and considering I really enjoy themes of fighting against love and your true nature (see Happy Not Knowing being my fourth most streamed song of all time), yeah, this is a masterpiece. (also a good queer metaphor)

Favorite moment: Romance is fine, pour me some wine, tell me it's just for the fun of it. Thoughts in your eyes, hard to deny, but I don't want love, don't want none. of. it. Also the muffled bridge that builds up to the final chorus my GOD! also the ad-libs in the final chorus. also her whole career.

#7. Making The Most Of The Night

I know, I know, she barely wrote on it, I don't care. Making The Most Of The Night is so perfectly crafted, it's insane. The instrumentals are mesmerizing, her energy is unbeatable and I'm a sucker for an explosive chorus. Everything about the song works to its full potential (side note, it's insane how bad the Sia demo is compared to the final product). Running through red lights on empty city streets underneath the full moon, hot summer night air ruffling your hair, joy and freedom, youth. That's making the most of the night.

Favorite moment: Final chorus although I really REALLY enjoy hearing that intro. It just unlocks something in me. OH ALSO THE aah-aaahs, they are INSANE I LOVE THEM

#8. I Didn't Just Come Here To Dance

Once I said that if Carly only ever made and released this song, I'd still worship her the same and that still rings true. It's honestly such an insanely good song, I don't even know what to say about it. Everything about it is addicting, the beat, the NO NA NA NA NA NO NAA NAA that i quote every day, the "I only came here for you (you)" moments. It's just so fun and the perfect club song. Every lyric is perfect, an incredible mix of flirtation, pining and confidence.

Favorite part: I only came here for you (you) and the final chorus.

#9. Store

The song that started it all. Honestly, this is a peak Aquarius song - tongue in cheek, emotionally avoidant in a whimsical way and most of all - super fun. Aside from Store being funny as fuck, I unironically find it super beautiful. The verses are angelic as she makes up excuses, the pre-chorus is catchy as she makes her way out the door and the chorus is probably one of her most fun despite its repetitive lyrics (which i adore). Also the BRIDGE. The whole song honestly has the energy of her giggling as she sneaks out of her boyfriend's life forever and I really really enjoy that.

Favorite part: ALRIGHT! If it's alright with you. I just wanna say I'm sorry, I just wanna say I'm sorry, sorry 😜

#10. Body Language

All I have to say about this song is that it's pure FUN. Like, it's made for dancing in your living room or on the street, it's spring light rain and sun afterwards but it's also summer, it's a light breeze, it's smiling as wide as you can, it's trying to outmanoeuvre someone else while dancing, it's just amazing and never gets old.

Favorite part: The first verse.

#11. First Time

You know, I did not expect this song to be that high. I always imagine First Time like an Elora Pautrat picture - kinda like an idealised version of a Japan suburb (hell, I even made a kinda shitty First Time lyric video to one of her pictures back in quarantine). Honestly one of her best examples of a "dancing through the tears" song. I don't know why we don't talk about it more as a society.

Favorite part: I REALLY like the (by-by-by-by-by-byeee) part right before the bridge

#12. LA Hallucinations

Write and sing and wear whatever. I'm a sucker for songs that touch on succumbing to addiction (be it related to substances or something else), hating fame, materialism, paparazzi/invasion of privacy, so it was quite natural that I'd like this song. I particularly like her delivery - it's kind of like she's manic, trying desperately to cling to her roots while on some sort of sugar/alcohol/drug high that makes everything around her change constantly.

Favorite moment: The bridge.

IF I JUST LIE HERE WILL YOU LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#13. Gimmie Love

Whenever I hear this song I get transported to August 2019 - I'm in Germany, biking underneath pink clouds in the countryside and time has stopped. Carly evokes feelings of both pining and hopefulness which is a rare combination but works extremely well. For a lack of better words, this song makes me ascend. I feel like I'm about to gently levitate out of my chair, into the clouds and then into another dimension full of pink clouds that smells like linden. It's this imagery that makes it stand out above some of the other songs.

Favorite moment: every time she shouts gimmie love with a bit more energy and variation than usual in the final chorus

#14. Boy Problems

I used to see this song in a way similar to "Emotion" before - a super solid bop that just wasn't life-changing. Just amazing. But then I saw a gif of this moment:

And I was changed forever. It's such a fun song and it was taken to another level for me when I leaned into the sassy, eye-rolling parts of it. I also quite enjoy the dialogue, it's super fun and I love acting it out.

Favorite moment: the moment in the gif

#15. Run Away With Me

I have a particularly weird relationship with most of the "critical darling" or "commercial juggernaut" songs on my favorite records. There's this immense inner contrarian urge to be like "They're not that good" and to point out that there are much better songs on the record. And while the latter part of this statement is true, Run Away With Me, despite my lack of an emotional connection to it, always, always manages to make its way into my top 40 most listened-to songs of the year. I don't know how it happens, it's just consistently good. Maybe someday I'll form some deeper connection to it but until then, it's a bop, it's blue skies, wind in my hair, and freedom. I always play it before I land somewhere although I feel like it's more of a train/bike song.

Favorite moment: Over the weekend, we could turn the world to gold.

#16. When I Needed You

HEY! When I Needed You is the credits of the wonderful, neon-light illuminated 80s movie that Emotion (the album) is. It's honestly perfect. Empowering, fun, a teeny little bit childish but in the best way. I honestly don't have much to say about it aside from: it's perfect, it's incredibly fun to sing along to and.... yeah. I love it.

Favorite moment: The last chorus, start to finish. also the HEY!s

#17. Emotion

This song is a hot night in a beach bar illuminated by red neon lights in the middle of July. There are not too many people there and time seems to have stopped. It took me some time to fully recognise this song as more than a bop but now that I get it? Oh my god. It's so sleek and arrogant, literally never gets old. I would never put it anywhere near my top 20 of Carly's songs but seeing as I completely adore 80% of her output, a lot of other great songs share that quality. Still a 10/10.

Favorite moment: The first verse is so haughty, I love it. Also, any time she's teasing the ex-object of her affections.

#18. Warm Blood

Let down my guard tonight, I just don't care anymore... Warm Blood is a truly unique song in the sense that it's one of the few songs where she's not giving her all, vocally. Instead, she traps us in a hazy, drunk, lazy red night that threatens to consume you if you stay for too long. Now that I'm writing this, I realise that it kinda feels like dying of a vampire bite - everything is hazy, your eyes are closing as you lie in a warm pool of blood, there's nothing but heat and the sound of your slowing heart and you just don't care anymore. It's an immaculate vibe.

Favorite moment: The lying metaphors and the "I just don't care anymore" line. It's what elevated the song for me.

#19. Roses

DRUNK ON CIGARETTES LAST YEAR SILLOUETTHES DANCING IN THE DARK LOVE MADE IN THE PARK BIG BLACK BLOSSOM TREES BABY COVER ME HOLD ME OUT TO BLOW PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO

Roses is a brilliant song that has probably one of her best bridges. It's cinematic, theatrical, a perfect tragic finale of Side B. Honestly, the only reason it isn't higher on the list is that the song is great but only the bridge is a masterpiece.

Favorite moment: The bridge duh

#20. Higher

I used to kinda despise this song cause it's literally the only song post-Kiss that she didn't write but as time has passed, I've realised the production really hits. It's nothing groundbreaking but it's a very fun song when you let go of your expectations about it. I'd honestly describe this song as whiteish-pink clouds, but not the saturated pink of Gimmie Love or the light lavender of Never Get To Hold You.

Favorite part: the hii-hiii-hiiiigher part in the chorus.

#21. Never Get To Hold You

Another song that transports me to August 2019 in Germany, Never Get To Hold You kinda feels like the dusk version of Gimmie Love's sunset. It's beautiful, kinda mindless which really fits it and yeah. I don't have a manic obsession with it but it's very nice. Also I have a fun memory of biking to this song while looking at some cows in Germany. Really fun. Light Lavender song.

Favorite moment: The bridge but the whole song is excellent.

#22. All That

The only moment on the main album that could be described as a true ballad, All That took some time for me to get but now that I get it? Wow. Despite there being better songs on the record, All That is still a standout to me in a way. The song feels like glistening under a disco ball and dancing alone at prom in a more-than-half-empty room. It's wonderful. I also really appreciate how this is one of the few Carly songs where the sad lyrics are not combined with peppy energetic production.

Favorite moment: The ad-libs in the last chorus (SHOW MEEEEEE)

#23. I Really Like You

Despite its relatively lower placement, I really like this song! (see what I did there) It's super fun to sing, deliciously saccharine (which is a word I learned thanks to reviews of the track So Nice) and I just love her energy! And you know, I've never had anything against repetitive choruses.

Favorite moment: I really really like the "boy on the moon" line.

#24. Love Again

Fun song, similar to Never Get To Hold You except I don't have much of an emotional connection to it. It's fun, fun to sing along to but I don't have much to say about it except "Solo if it slayed".

Favorite moment: Moon... where's the man in you? (also maybe a throwback to IRLY's boy on the moon)

#25. Favourite Colour

Yeah. I actually quite like this song but it has never been anything special to me. It's very beautiful, sure, but almost everything on both albums outdoes it for me. I'd imagine it's very nice to listen to while high but I guess I've never connected to it that much. Still a solid 8.

Favorite moment: WAKE ME UP! ME UP! ME UP!

#26. Black Heart

I listened to the two projects three times between writing and rewriting and I didn't notice Black Heart playing at all. It's okay, sometimes I enjoy it but it's so forgettable.

Favorite moment: UNDER THE BLOSSOM TREE! ah who am i kidding, it's just okay.

[sunflouwerhabit]

hello, my fellow tortured poets 🩶🤍🖤

happy one month of the tortured poets department! i have spent the past few weeks connecting with this album in a life-altering way and while it’s still too soon to know where it ranks in taylor’s discography for me, i think i am *tentatively* ready (after endless sleepless nights) to provide a *tentative* *potential* top 10 from both ttpd and the anthology! 🤍

((these are subject to change at the drop of a hat because there are already 3 songs that didn’t make the cut and i hate myself for it, and also because i’ve been having a moment with “fresh out the slammer” when she was my least favorite for the past month and that’s proof that i don’t know what i’m talking about <3 but anyway!))

let’s get into it!!!

in no particular order…

i can do it with a broken heart

i adored this song from first listen. it was my initial standout track and i’ve only loved it even more every single day since. it has me feeling ready to take on the entire world. i think if i had heard this song in 2021 i probably would have needed resuscitated

favorite lyric: “i cry a lot but i am so productive, it’s an art” (i’m a capricorn. it resonates so deeply).

peter

i have seen more than my fair share of one direction tiktok edits to this song and i consider every single one a hate crime. it HURTS. but also the way this parallels my favorite lyric in cardigan (“i knew you tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy”) AND the way it fits with maisie peter’s “wendy” … oh i am ruined. you already know i have a playlist with just cardigan, peter, and wendy and it’s pure pain. 1989/10

favorite lyric: “cause love’s never lost when perspective is earned” (but actually the entire bridge, though)

the bolter

taylor read my diary with this one and i’m still working out the best way to take legal action. god i love it so much. the chorus is so catchy and is a masterclass in storytelling. the metaphor of falling through the ice is just … this is a perfect song. it’s an actual perfect song. this one (and peter too) are in my top THREE on the album <3

favorite lyric: “ended with the slam of the door but she’s got the best stories you can be sure that as she was leaving, it felt like freedom”

but daddy i love him

IM HAVING HIS BABY! NO IM NOT BUT YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACES!!!!!!!! okay i’m so embarrassed to say that after my first listen, i ranked this song second to last? listen. it was nearly one in the morning and i didn’t know what i was talking about. this feels like a grown up version of love story. it tells a story !!!!! taylor’s country roots come through !!!! and as a queer individual….. i just relate. i love it. it’s perfect.

favorite lyric: “i’ll tell you something right now, i’d rather burn my whole life down, than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning” (i scream this so passionately in my car)

who’s afraid of little old me?

i think this may be the best written song on the album. it has the witchiness of evermore. the songwriting of speak now. it’s a masterful look into how she views her own fame and sense of self (a topic she has covered before, but never in this way) and while i can’t relate to it on that level, i love it as a storyteller and as someone existing in society as a woman

favorite lyric: “you don’t get to call me about sad” OR “is it a wonder i broke, let’s hear one more joke” (but the entire song is perfect)

guilty as sin?

i could literally listen to only this song for the rest of my life and it wouldn’t be enough. this is god tier taylor. obviously it has the sensuality of songs like dress or false god, but i also think the heart of the song is rooted in the guilt that comes with falling out of love. it HURTS. also the religious lyricism. god. but also also. it’s such a fucking banger

favorite lyric: “am i allowed to cry?” / “what if he’s written ‘mine’ on my upper thigh only in my mind?”

i hate it here

this song feels like the bolter, in the sense that i genuinely think taylor is writing about me. it’s so rude. i once again just believe this song is perfect. the girls that get it just GET IT. i have already used this song in my artwork. as an idyllic daydreamer, it cuts so deeply and resonates in a way few songs do and i also think it’s just so so so so so so so so so so ….. SO real. i love the simple production. it feels like an evermore track and evermore is my album, so <3

favorite lyric: “i hate it here so i will go to lunar valleys in my mind, when they found a better planet only the gentle survived. i read about it in a book, the night i felt like i might die” (i just … I GET IT).

the black dog

AND I HOPE IT’S SH I T T Y AT THE BLACK DOG. i think this song is the essence of everything i love about taylor. her storytelling, her way of making her personal experiences so relatable, the vulnerability. it’s very rare that i connect with a song instantly, but this is one that i feel in love with upon first listen. the production with “old habits die screaming” and the way it fades at the end of the song …. god. the entire thing is a masterpiece. have i mentioned how much i adore the anthology?

favorite lyric: “i just don’t understand how you don’t miss me” (almost crashed my car the first time i processed that one)

so long, london

there are only two taylor albums where the track 5 doesn’t at least make my top 5, and this is not one of them. so long, london was the song i was most excited for when we first got the tracklist and it didn’t disappoint. the production is so melancholic but also SOUNDS like anxiety, in a way that’s reminiscent of the archer. it feels like the stages of grief that ends with acceptance and letting go and i think it’s powerful because it’s about a loss that’s already been mourned. also, as someone who connects deeply with places that i love and associate with people …. it HURTS

favorite lyric: “i’m just getting color back into my face, i’m just mad as hell ‘cause i loved this place for so long” (the way i internalize this line as it relates to my own life …. ooof)

so high school

and we’re rounding off a devastating list with a certified bop. listen. i don’t care. i fucking love this song. it’s pure bliss, pure love, pure joy (and also another one to add to the “spicy taylor swift” playlists). it makes me happy. “you know how to ball, i know aristotle” HELL YEAH!!!! also i don’t think the chorus gets enough credit for how well written it is. i think the lyrics fit the title so well with this song and it’s just … i just don’t understand how you can hear “and i’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” in so long, london and NOT ugly cry when we get to this track. couldn’t be me. i love her. literal perfection. maybe taylor’s happiest pure love song since …… ever

favorite lyric: “you knew what you wanted and boy you got her” (AHSKEKEKWKSKSKS)

anyway! that is her! that is my tentative list! feel free to give me your lists! be advised this list could have looked very different a week ago and may look very different next week!!! i love this album so much!!!!! that’s all!!!! cheers to all the writing she will inspire 🤍

also, for fun: here are my pre-listen rankings based on vibes and my initial ranking after my first listen (before we even knew about the anthology) 🤍🩶🖤

have a wonderful sunday :-)

[battyblog]

Gaylor and online queer spaces

This blog post is inspired by the (kind of) recent New York Times article speculating about Taylor Swift’s sexuality and the so-called ‘Gaylor’ conspiracy. Ethically it is undeniable that this, very public, speculation on a person's sexuality is invasive and dehumanising. Yet, as a society we are obsessed with 'uncovering’ celebrities' sexualities – look at the recent events and outing of Billie Eilish. Queer or presumed so, celebrities who do not choose to come out are subject to gross examination and pressure to divulge such a personal aspect of life as their sexual preference. It is a culmination of para-social relationships, celebrity culture and the taboo secrecy that still surrounds sexuality.  

Taylor Swift is the undisputed queen of para-social relationships. Her personal lyrics in songs have created a fanbase that feels entitled to know her deepest feelings and desires. Other than the obvious lack of boundaries here, another issue I have with the ‘Gaylor’ theorising is how it reduces queerness to stereotypes. Taylor refusing to speak on the subject has led her rabid fans to analyse everything she does and create their own queer narrative. This does reflect the queer experience of meeting someone you’re attracted to and trying to figure out if they're interested, or vice versa trying to outwardly express your sexuality. But it's not like TS is walking around with the tiger rainbow tote bag, she just follows trends, it’s not her fault that lesbians have the coolest style.  

How is this not homophobic? This theorising reduces sapphic sexuality to fashion choices.  

Another celebrity that is surrounded with online speculation over their sexuality is Harry Styles, discussing him and Taylor feels like I’m really poking the hornets' nest. But he is another artist that capitalises on the excitement surrounding sexuality rumours. Again, no one should ever come out if they don’t want to, but it brings into question, if these celebrities really were so unwilling to be seen publicly as gay, why are they still willing to capitalise on the speculation? Either or, baby! Profiting off this cloud of speculation is greedy, this breathes life into these conspiracies, how could a celebrity morally do this? Your fave pop princess would never lead fans on just so they can make money. These celebrities can wave rainbow flags all they want at their concerts, but they are taking spaces that could be given to out and proud LGBT artists that will then uplift others and provide vital representation for queer folk. 

One thing that the online ‘Gaylor’ conspiracy does highlight is the demand for queer online spaces. This conspiracy does create online discourse surrounding sexuality and allows those within it to discuss aspects of queerness without self-reflection. Is it a leap to say that some of the people analysing Taylor swifts ‘hidden messages’ may be projecting their own oppressed queerness? This blatant online discussion of sexuality reminds me of shipping culture and the well-known practice of taking two (often non overtly queer) characters and creating conspiracies of a queer relationship. Think Johnlock, Darry or my personal teenage ship Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. Shipping culture can extend to real people, but that's a whole post in itself. For myself as a teen figuring out my own sexuality, seeing the breadcrumb sapphic relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy was fascinating, it allowed me to talk about queerness whilst I was still coming to terms with how I felt. Gaylor and this speculation creates the same environment for Taylor Swift fans, folks who, due to their own views on sexuality, may be apprehensive to enter pre-established online queer spaces. I hope that it provides that for some, and isn’t just a vulgar dehumanisation of a pop icon 

I know Taylor will not read this post, but if she was to I would give her some advice. Firstly, she owes no one the truth about her sexuality, and, although it is profitable, needs to work on breaking that parasocial relationship her fans have with her. For everyone's sakes. It is not healthy for people to centre their online personalities on whether or not someone is gay, you don't have to come out to call it out. It’s clear her fans hunger for a female queer icon, and if she is unable to fill that role then she should be uplifting other queer artists, put them as supports in her tour, I’m sure a single tweet would create a storm. She could keep her ‘gaylor’ fans satisfied and actually do some good for the LGBT community. You don’t have to be out and proud to support LGBT rights and who has a bigger platform than her to speak out about issues facing the community. 

But this issue is not just due to a handful of pop singers, as a wider society we need to become more aware how we discuss sexuality. How celebrities are treated can be a public example of societal attitudes towards ‘regular’ people. These fans need to be educated that, celebrity or not, it's not okay to speculate and almost fetishize someone's sexuality. If you think they're LGBT and they haven't told you, maybe you should self-reflect and think about why that is.  

GAY RIGHTS!

[sleepynegress]

Uh… Chris Rock has ALSO experienced abuse first hand when he was young. Why does only Will’s matter?

Nonny, if you read my post then you know abuse matters regardless. Since I literally said the slap was wrong. A lot of us have experienced it. I hope all who have been through it find space to heal from it. Chris Rock's abuse may have influenced his empowering yt peers to use the n-word and why he's used black girls and women as fodder for his humor so many times...But it's no excuse for it. Since he continued to do it. Again. The difference is one person has held it together for 30+ years, even going above and beyond in a his rap career to be clean w/ the pressure to be a role model for black men and boys (if you're black nonny then you know that pressure of being rep for your entire race in a public space). Quiet as it's kept, Smith went farther in some spaces than SLJ, Denzel, and Poitier, regardless of how you feel about his acting talent. He broke the black male lead (and black female lead partner) summer blockbuster barrier with Indepedence Day. That is HUGE.

Thanks to his discipline in the public eye, his family is prvileged, wealthy, and have alternative ways. I remember the protection of their kids, allowing black kids to reap the benefit of those privileges, but never seeing them do anything cruel, be exploited, or be trifiling to their peers. Jaden, starred in some movies, wore dresses, philosophized, made music and an anime and started a non-profit to get water to people in need.... SO MUCH better than other nepotism kids in Hollywood. Willow made a cute song empowering black girls and women to be silly with their hair at 8. Dressed and singing appropriate lyrics AGAIN never did anything cruel, harmed no no one, came out as queer, and continues to make music. They raised free, joyful black children, in the public eye, who get to be weirdos, travel, think and live outside the box publically... And again, if you're not black and of a certain age, you haven't a clue what an accomplishment that is and how much of a precedent the Smiths set w/ that... And all this in spite of folks, white and black constantly talking shit about that family. That family has been awesome in so many ways like Will and Jada's relationship with his ex-wife and son. Jason and Lenny are a meme now, but the Smiths started that. Meanwhile, taking tally of Rock's years of comedy and the ways he's given space and permission to yts to use the n-word and laugh at black women (stealing a doc from a black woman) and even his own response that he wouldn't talk about Jada anymore... immediately after Will's tacky and illtimed slap... Chris didn't press charges. Hopefully both he and Will are getting therapy. ...But I'mma be real. SO MANY worse things than a damn slap between men w/ the resources and wherewithal to manage it, have gone on with your faves in Hollywood and those folks were allowed their careers and celebrated w/o a quarter of the accomplishment, pressure, and alt-decency the Smiths have managed to express through the years. The only reasons this is as huge as it is because it's Will (known for those 30 years), it happened at the Academy Awards (and I've explained why their moral posturing is laughable) and because (and you know this to be true) is an easier public discourse than all the heavier things that are going on that have definitely been a psychological burden on the masses. It feels solvable and judgable, unlike a pandemic, evil folks on the right who keep getting away w/ evil shit, and knowing a meglomaniac is bombing innocent people because Cold War nostalgia and ego, for a just a few examples. That said, while I'm here...the B.S. with Zoe Kravitz right now, is just a disgusting public pile-on mob. So the fuck what she thinks differently about the slap. So the fuck what she's ALWAYS been a hippie biracial woman. People are using this now as an excuse to air out their long-held jealousy for her privileges. It's a slap. We're allowed various opinions on it. We're allowed that. You're allowed that too nonny. Social media really gets the scale of things wrong sometimes. The B.S. about Zoe being a pedo (which seriously that trend needs to STOP). The Q's and so-called progressives need to stop that mess, the baseless accusations are gross, gross, gross and only done, because people aren't willing to deal with the actual heaviness of the crime, its a convienient untouchable accusation to throw at folk, and worse; ONLY makes it easier for the real crimes to go under the radar w/ the all the damn wolf cries. Anyway, all that to say... I hope all parties grow and heal from this pretty minor incident in the grand scale of things and likely major long-held personal ones that lead to it.

[zazzander]

Alternative Reading of High Infidelity

I've seen people guessing that High Infidelity by Taylor Swift is about her own cheating, however, I disagree with this take.

I believe this song is written from the male perspective, as Taylor has done in the past. Many have speculated that Taylor used the male POV to cover up the queer-er themes of her previous albums.

Now Midnights has arguably turned the closet into glass, by many accounts with Question...?, Maroon, and other songs. But I'm not here to say whether or not Taylor Swift is queer or not. What I do know is that she is an ally and that she explores queer themes in her songs.

Another running theme with this album is the speaker's anxieties regarding marriage.

In Lavender Haze, "No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me" and "all they keep asking me is if I'm gonna be your bride | The only kinda girl they see is a one night or a wife".

In Midnight Rain, "He wanted a bride, I was making my own name"

And in the Bejewelled music video, the character Taylor plays rejects a marriage proposal from the prince.

I think these two ideas: queerness and marriage combine in this song. In this song, the speaker (the "husband") is gay but he got married to keep himself in the closet. To hide. He believed this was a good idea at the time, but now he's cheating on his wife with a man and she has found it. His marriage is falling apart and he's being forced out of the closet in the process.

In the song we get these lyrics:

Storm coming Good husband Bad omen Dragged my feet right down the aisle

It's possible that the speaker is the "wife" of this relationship. However, the songs themes are far more solid if the person who hesitated at the wedding was the "good husband".

He was the bad omen.

He was the storm coming.

He dragged his feet down the aisle. In his heart, he knew this marriage would end in disaster. It would hurt them all. But he believed he had to go through with it regardless.

The song continues:

At the house lonely Good money I'd pay if you'd just know me Seemed like the right thing at the time

The speaker thought that getting marriage would be the "right thing". In conservative Christian circles, being gay is considered immoral - the "wrong thing".

I'd pay if you'd just know me. What truth does the speaker hide? Why would they pay if it was revealed? Cheating could lead to the marriage ending - yes - but if that cheating was done because he was gay? In a conservative society? It would be more than just money at stake.

Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? [...] Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

The speaker says "he" brought them back to life, why? how? We know from this song that the speaker loves their partner - so why does an outsider in the marriage bring them back to life?

With a queer reading, this line is stronger. Being stuck in a comphet marriage has left the "good husband" feeling trapped, dead inside. But allowing himself to be himself? That brought him back from the brink.

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love The slowest way is never loving them enough

In this song, the speaker does love their wife. He married her for a reason. However, he doesn't love her in the way she wants him to - society wants him to. That's why this line hits so hard. Because he feels like he's not enough.

This song draws on the two themes of queerness and marriage in the Midnights album. It's more than just about cheating.

(PS: this song's title also seems to be referring to High Fidelity, the movie, which has a male main character. Of course, in this version, he is not loyal, he doesn't learn how to make her happy. Because he can't. There is not happy ending.)

[youranxiousnerd]

The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug 

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?! 

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH” 

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do. 

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears 

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home. 

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people. 

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej? 

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?” 

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug 

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro” 

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

 “and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb 

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU 

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?” 

they’re so nervous 

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right 

“Yeah” 

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke. 

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god 

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran 

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

[letterboxd]

Wigging Out.

Choreographer and director Jonathan Butterell tells Gemma Gracewood about stepping behind the camera for Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, his love for Sheffield, and making sure queer history is kept alive. Richard E. Grant weighs in on tolerance and Thatcher.

Of 2021’s many conundrums, one for musical lovers is why the narratively problematic Dear Evan Hansen gets a TIFF premiere and theatrical release this month, while the joyously awaited Everybody’s Talking About Jamie went straight to Amazon Prime.

And yet, as the show’s lyrics go, life keeps you guessing, along came a blessing. There’s something about the film streaming onto young people’s home screens, with its moments of fourth-wall breaking where Jamie speaks straight to the viewer, that feels so important, given the content: a gay teen whose drag-queen destiny sits at odds with the less ambitious expectations of his working-class town.

Director and choreographer Jonathan Butterell, who also helmed the stage production (itself inspired by Jenny Popplewell’s 2011 BBC documentary, Jamie: Drag Queen at 16) agrees that the worldwide Amazon release is a very good silver lining. “I made the film for the cinema but, in 250 territories across the world, this is going to have a reach that—don’t get me wrong, cinema, cinema, cinema, collective experience, collective experience, collective experience—but it will get to people that it might not have got to before.

Jonathan Butterell on set with star Max Harwood, as Jamie.

“It feels as niche a story as you could possibly be. But also for me, I wanted it to feel like a universal story, that it didn’t matter where on any spectrum you found yourself, you could understand a young person wanting to take their place in the world freely, openly and safely.”

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, with screenplay and lyrics by Tom MacRae and songs by Dan Gillespie Sells, sits neatly among a series of very specific feel-good British films about the working class experience, such as Billy Elliot, Kinky Boots and Pride. The film adds some historical weight to the story with a new song, ‘This Was Me’, which allows Jamie’s mentor, Hugo (played by Richard E. Grant), to take us into England’s recent past—the dark days of the discriminatory Section 28 laws, at a time when the HIV/AIDS epidemic was still ravaging the community.

Hugo’s drag persona Loco Chanelle (played in the flashback by the stage musical’s original Jamie—John McCrea from Cruella and God’s Own Country), sports a wig that looks suspiciously like the Iron Lady’s unmistakable head of hair. Grant confirms that was Hugo’s intention. “His heyday was in the 1980s, so as a ‘fuck you’ to Mrs Thatcher, what better than to be dressed up like that, at six-foot-eight, with a wig that could bring down the Taj Mahal!”

Richard E. Grant as Hugo, getting to work on Jamie’s contours.

In light of the current pandemic, and the fact that the 1967 legalization of homosexuality in Britain is only “an historical blink away”, Grant’s hope is for more tolerance in the world. “Maybe Covid gives people some sense of what that was like, but with Covid there’s not the prejudice against you, whereas AIDS, for the most part in my understanding, was [seen as] a ‘gay disease’, and there were many people across the globe who thought that this was, you know, whatever god they believe in, was their way of punishing something that they thought was unacceptable.

“The message of this movie is of inclusivity, diversity, and more than ever, tolerance. My god, we could do with a dose of that right now.”

Read on for our Q&A with Jonathan Butterell about the filmic influences behind Everybody’s Talking About Jamie.

Hugo in a reverie, surrounded by his drag menagerie.

Can we talk about the new song, ‘This Was Me’, and the way you directed it in the film? It’s a show-stopper, with Richard E. Grant singing in that beautiful high register, and then moving into Holly Johnson’s singing, as you go back in time to show that deeply devastating and important history. Jonathan Butterell: It felt inevitable, the shift, and necessary. Myself, Dan Gillespie Sells, the composer, and Tom MacRae, the screenwriter, we created this piece together, the three of us, and it’s a film by the three of us. We lived through that time, we went on those marches. Actually, in one of those marches [shown in flashback], Dan’s mum—actual mum—is in a wheelchair, by a young boy who was holding a plaque saying “my mum’s a lesbian and I love her”.

That is Dan with his mum back in the day, and it all speaks to our stories and it moves me, I can see it’s moving you. It moves me because I lived through that time, and it was a complex time for a young person. It was a time that you felt you had to be empowered in order to fight, and you felt very vulnerable because of the need to fight. And because of that disease, because HIV was prevalent and we lost people—we lost close people—it was a difficult time. I wanted to make sure that that story kept being told and was passed on to the next generation.

It’s so important isn’t it, to walk into the future facing backwards? It still exists, that need to fight still exists. The conversation, yes, has moved on, has changed, but not for all people and not in all communities.

What would be your go-to movie musical song at a karaoke night? My goodness. There’d be so many.

I mean, is it going to be a Cabaret, a Chicago showstopper, or something more Mary Poppins, something from Rent? I think what I would go to, which is what I remember as a little boy, is Curly singing ‘Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin’. It’s such a kind of perfect, beautiful, simple song. That, and ‘The Lonely Goatherd’, because I just want to yodel. It would be epic. Trust me.

What is the best film featuring posing and why is it Paris Is Burning? It’s always Paris Is Burning. Back in the day, I was obsessed with Paris Is Burning, I was obsessed with that world. In fact, at one moment I even met [director] Jennie Livingston in trying to make a theater piece inspired by that. I lived in New York for eleven years and I met Willi Ninja. I just adored everything about him, and he would tell me stories. And again, it was so removed from the boy from Sheffield, I mean so far. That New York ballroom scene was so removed from my world, but I got it. Those two boys at the top of the film, I just wanted to be one of those boys who just hung out outside the club.

Harwood and Butterell on set, with Lauren Patel (right) as Jamie’s bestie Pritti Pasha.

What films did you and Tom and Dan look at to get a feeling for how to present the musical numbers? Actually, a lot of pop videos, from present day to past. There’s an homage, in the black-and-white sequences, to a little ‘Vogue’ Madonna moment. Pop is very central to me in this story because pop is what a working-class kid from a working-class community will be listening to. That’s in his phone, that’s in his ears. Not that many young people listen to much radio at this moment in time, but that’s what will be on Margaret’s radio, that’s what’s coming into the kitchen. And that was central to the storytelling for me.

Bob Fosse also really influenced me, and particularly All That Jazz and where his flights of imagination take him. I felt that was so appropriate for Jamie, and again in a very, very different way, but I could see how Jamie’s imagination could spark something so fantastical that would lead him to dance, lead him to walk on the most amazing catwalk, lead into being in the most fabulous, fabulous nightclub with the most amazing creatures you’ve ever met in your life.

For me personally, the film that most inspired me was Ken Loach’s Kes, because that is my community. Both the world in which Jamie exists—Parsons Cross council estate, is my world, is my community—and the world of that young boy, finding his place in the world with his kestrel friend, I remember identifying with that boy so clearly. He was very different from me, very different. But I got him, and I felt like Ken Loach got me through him.

Ken Loach made a few films set in Sheffield, didn’t he? But also, Sheffield is a setting and an influence on The Full Monty, The History Boys, Funny Cow and that brilliant Pulp documentary. So Jamie feels like a natural successor. It absolutely does. Sheffield’s where I grew up, it’s my hometown. Although I moved away from it, I always return. To have a chance to celebrate my community, and particularly that community in Parsons Cross council estate. If you’re in Sheffield and you’re in a taxi and you said, “Take me to Parsons Cross,” they’d say, “Well, I’ll drop you there, but I’m not staying.” Because again there’s a blinkered view of that community. And I know that community to be proud, glorious and beautiful.

And yes, that community, particularly through the ’80s, really suffered because some of that community would serve the steelworks and had three generations of unemployment, so they became disenfranchised because of that. But the community I grew up in, my Auntie Joan, who lived on that road, literally on that road, was a proud, working class, glorious woman who served chips at school.

Aside from Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, what would be the most important queer British cinematic story to you? (And how do you choose between My Beautiful Laundrette and God’s Own Country?!) You can’t. My Beautiful Laundrette influenced me so much because, one, Daniel Day Lewis was extraordinary in that film, and two, because of the cross-cultural aspect of it. I went, “I know this world”, because again I grew up in that world. And it affirmed something in me, which is the power and the radicalness of who I could be and what I could be.

With God’s Own Country, when I saw that film—and that was Francis’ first film, which I thought was extraordinary for a first-time filmmaker—I knew he knew that world from the inside, from the absolute inside. And I know what that rural community was like. I read that script, because we share agents, and I was blown away by it—again, because of the two cultures coming together.

Jamie Campbell, the film’s real-life inspiration, with screen-Jamie Max Harwood.

Richard E. Grant’s character, Hugo, is such a pivotal mentor for Jamie. What did you need to hear from a mentor when you were sixteen? Don’t let yourself hold yourself back, because I think it was me who put some limitations on myself. And of course I came from a working-class community. I was a queer kid in a tough British comprehensive school. And did I experience tough times? Yes I did. And did I deal with those tough times? Yes I did. But the song that speaks to me mostly in this is ‘Wall in my Head’, in which Jamie takes some responsibility for the continuation of those thoughts, continuations of the sorts of shame, and that’s a sophisticated thing for a sixteen-year-old boy to tackle.

I also was lucky enough to have a mother like Margaret—and a dad like Margaret as well, just to be clear! And I remember my mum, at seventeen when I left home, just leaving a little note on my bed. It was quite a long letter. She said, Jonathan, you’ve probably chosen to walk a rocky path, but don’t stray from it, don’t steer away from it. That’s the path you've chosen, there may be rock-throwers along the way, but you’ll find your way through it. That stayed with me and I think that’s what resonates with me. And when I saw that documentary, Jamie: Drag Queen at 16, I felt that that sparked the need for me to tell that story.

Sarah Lancashire as Jamie’s mum, Margaret New.

We need more mums and dads like Margaret, don’t we? We do, we do. And the wonderful thing is, Margaret Campbell will say it and I think Margaret New in the film will say it: she’s not a Saint, she’s an ordinary mum. And she has to play catch up and she doesn’t understand in many ways, and she gets things wrong and she overprotects. But she comes from one place and that is a mum’s love of her child and wanting them to take their place safely in the world and to be fully and totally themselves.

Related content

Eternal Alien’s list of films Made in Sheffield

Letterboxd’s Camp Showdown

Persephon’s list of films recommended by drag queens

Passion’s list of films mentioned by Jaymes Mansfield in her Drag Herstory YouTube series

Follow Gemma on Letterboxd

‘Everybody’s Talking About Jamie’ is streaming now on Amazon Prime Video.

[nonbinaryresource]

hi. i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work? i’m trans and when i listened to this artist’s work (harry styles - she & fine line) i connected with the songs immediately? i found a lot of people in the community who too connected to the songs and interpreted the lyrics as a struggle with one’s gender identity. at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong, but then after reading master posts i discovered that he constantly portrays gender in his work (using the trans flag on his album cover; being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.) and now i’m really confused. it feels comforting as a fan to relate to him and i, and a lot of other fans from the community, sometimes refer to him with he/she/they instead of he/him (he never said his pronouns are he/him). is that wrong? every time my (trans) friends and i refer to him with pronouns other than he/him or tell people not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that, other (usually cis. a trans fan called me transphobic and told me to stop seeking validation from cis white men.) fans will start calling us transphobic and delusional and attacking us to the point we had anxiety attacks over it? i’m just really confused right now. i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong. i’m not out to anyone irl and sometimes i wish people caught on to the little things i do and recognise that i am part of the community. i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

he has previously said that there are no lines between what's masculine and what's feminine for him anymore. i'm sorry this is so long and thank you

(You also sent in the song lyrics - thanks for the easy reference! - but I’m clipping those for length reasons.)

Disclaimer before I dig in: I am not a Harry Styles stan, I know very little about him, most of what I am going to say specifically about him is stuff I researched about specifically to answer this ask. I want to speak mostly generally to your question.

Okay, so you posed a pretty succinct, straight forward question. “i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work?“ However, there’s also a lot of context to this ask that makes things not so straight forward, and there are several distinct issues touched upon here I want to delve into. But it seems a good a starting place as any to start with the direct question you asked.

Yes, of course it’s okay to find your own meaning in art and role models and relate to art your way from your perspective based on your experience. In fact, that’s nearly the entire purpose of art! And it makes sense too, that we as social creatures would look up to and be inspired by celebrities, artists, mentors, role models, etc. Feeling connected to and less alone because someone in the spotlight plays with gender presentation like you might or want to makes a lot of sense!

However, we have to remember that A) sometimes art is just art, and B) someone being in the spotlight doesn’t mean we actually know or understand them or are/should act familiar with them.

As an example, a couple years back, Will Jay released a song called “Never Been in Love” that pretty much exploded with aros and aces and became a bit of an anthem for a lot of us. Many wondered if he was aspec himself and there was a lot of queries about it (and I saw quite a few blogs reminding folk that they were allowed to relate to the song even if it meant something different to Will Jay or he wasn’t actually aspec). Earlier this year, he released the song “Lies” where he admits that he was writing songs he thought people would relate to and he actually had been in love even before writing “Never Been In Love”. That should do nothing to diminish how meaningful the song was to people, though! If we related to the song, we related to the song, and if it was meaningful and made us feel seen and understood, that’s great! A lot of times, art is personal, but sometimes art is just an exploration.

This concept applies even more to people themselves. It is soooo easy to idolize and romanticize people you’ve never actually met and really only see the persona they want you to see. Yes, they share personal information with the world and they experience a general lack of privacy that makes you feel like yeah, you really know who they are. But how can you really, personally, intimately know someone without interacting with them, chatting with them, getting to know them one on one? It’s fine to have role models and feel represented by and relate to a celebrity - just do not lose sight of the fact that what you’re feeling is personal feeling on your own end. It’s not something that this celebrity has actually built with you.

To put this another way: it is fine to headcanon fictional characters, but it’s not okay to headcanon real people.

Now, what I’m building up to here is that there are a lot of assumptions I am seeing - from both sides - that we cannot truly know because all we know is what Harry [or anyone] chooses to share with us. I’d like to break this down by going through some specific points.

at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong

Okay, there are two sides to this.

1) It is wrong to apply a gender label/descriptor to someone without their permission.

2) In a cisnormative society, “cis” is the default gender label/descriptor to apply to everyone, and that’s equally wrong, so I get why it feels like a rebellion of the system to go “well, there are Reasons they could be trans, so I’m just going to go ahead and call them trans”.

We should get away from automatically labeling everyone as “cis”. However, the way we fix this isn’t to just decide we get to apply whatever label/descriptor to someone we want.

If someone hasn’t clarified or specified their gender (and you can’t/it isn’t a good or safe idea to ask them), it’s the safest bet to go by what they seem to be majority being called or what you can find of them referring to themself as.

In some cases, when someone seems to be specifically avoiding labeling themselves or uncomfortable with labeling themselves, it may be most comfortable for you to also avoid labeling them just as much as possible.

being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.)

It’s worth considering - is this something for friends only? Or is it open to fans and other public sectors?

Usually if something is for friends only, it’ll be kept out of public eye, but if only friends are doing this, is this something that is only being shared with you or is it something you’re entitled to as well?

Aaaaaaaaalso, it has to be pointed out that it’s binarist and cisnormative in it’s own way to equate different names/pronouns automatically with being trans or being a specific trans identity. Wanting to get pregnant? Do you know how many cis women I’ve heard go on and on about wanting a penis so they can pee standing up (like... all of them anytime we’re outside or camping)? Plenty of cis people use pronouns you might not expect! You don’t have to be trans/nonbinary to use multiple or ‘atypical’ pronouns. Cis people are allowed to use other pronouns as well! They’re allowed to have names typically associated with other genders! Not all gender nonconforming or genderqueer people/people queering gender are trans! Not everybody exploring their gender nor gender presentation is trans!

not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that

It’s great to not assume someone is cis! But that doesn’t automatically make them trans.

i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong.

Do you specifically, absolutely need to gender someone in order to relate to them?

i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

I’ve only recently seen a tiny bit of this ‘discourse’ around on twitter, but what I see is a few issues/points:

A) It’s not up to us to claim someone as trans if they have not come out as trans. Coming out is an extremely personal choice and should be up to each individual. “Claiming” them is basically dragging them into something that very well may be not theirs. And if it is theirs, why would you want to steal that moment of getting to determine and declare that away from them?

B) We are all so done with cis, able-bodied white folk being prioritized above the rest of the queer community!!! There are actual, legitimate, out trans people that can be your trans role models and they’re being shoved to the back of the closet in favor of a privileged, white Schrödinger’s Trans. Let’s uplift our actual community instead of getting stuck on someone who may or may not be a part of community - and may not even want to be a part of it!

All that being said, I do want to say something really quickly on Harry himself because it ties back into the assumptions we’ve been talking about. Harry’s sexuality has long been a question on fans and journalists minds, and Harry has pretty consistently made it clear that he’s not really interested in labels or boxes. Harry’s gender is not something that has been asked about, talked about, or answered on much. And his comment on masculinity and femininity? Let’s remember that, like pronouns, masculinity and femininity don’t automatically or inherently relate to one specific gender or not. And, quite frankly, it is faucet of toxic masculinity and cissexism to equate a gnc man/man in a dress with being trans. Men are allowed to wear dresses and makeup and heels! Men are allowed to be soft and nurturing and to cry! Cis or trans, men are allowed to be these things, and arguing that they’re trans simply for doing or being any of these does continue to enforce dangerous and strict views of the gender binary.

Okay, it feels like I kinda put you through the wringer, so I want to go back and reiterate: it is 100% valid to relate to and feel connected to/inspired by someone on the basis of their presentation and gender exploration. It is not valid to claim ownership over their identity because of this. It is possible for two people to experience same or similar things and yet come to different conclusions about themselves!

If Harry Styles as an icon is important to you, I’m glad you can have that! But not everyone will or has to share your connection, and the only one actually qualified to speak on Harry’s gender is Harry himself. Harry could be trans, but it’s his right and his right only to claim that label. Any assuming we do is just that: an assumption. And I want you to be careful with your own feelings getting too attached to the image of Harry you’ve built up in your own head only to potentially have them shattered if Harry decides to speak on things and it turns out his feelings don’t mean what you thought.

Your identity is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. You feeling validated and seen and represented by Harry’s actions is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. It’s great to have role models and be inspired by people, but remember that at the end of the day, you need to be able to rely on yourself to keep up your ego and determine your sense of self.

~Pluto

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Eda's Requiem" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

...

...

...HOW IS SEASON TWO SO GOOD?! WE'VE HAD SEVEN EPISODES SO FAR, AND EACH ONE OF THEM WAS A HIT!

Take "Eda's Requiem," for example. It's yet another episode where I have NOTHING bad to say about it! That's two weeks in a row where that happened! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

HOW!

HOW!

...But anyways, "Eda's Requiem." It's another fantastic episode, and I'm about to dive into explaining how and why. Just keep in mind, it's gonna require spoilers to do so, so be wary of that as you keep reading.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Eda’s Checklist and Grom Photo: Within the first second, "Eda's Requiem" perfectly sets up Eda's central conflict in the episode. Despite spending years being on her own and looking after herself, she now has two kids that she's constantly caring over. Eda can try all she wants to say that she doesn't care, and I bet she has in the past. But given the hard work she's putting into getting King and Luz what they need and having a grom photo of the three of them together pinned in her mirror, it's pretty clear that those two knuckleheads wormed their way into her heart and are never getting out.

Eda’s Worried About King and Luz Leaving: And thus, that's precisely why something like this bothers her so much. Eda inadvertently adopted two rambunctious rapscallions (Yeah, I know. I'll get to it), so the idea of them not being around her anymore is going to be terrifying. That is a situation most parents, especially mothers, can identify with. It’s called empty nest syndrome and it proves just how much Eda loves Luz and King that she can't stand the thought of her babies leaving the nest. It's yet another well-made, wholesome, found-family moment that this series continues to excel at each week, making me extra excited for more like it to come...while also readying myself for heartbreak when one of them eventually does leave Eda.

Eda and Raine’s Music: Ok, I don't know the exact instruments that were played during this episode, but I also don't care because it was all (for lack of a better term) music to my ears. Every time Eda and Raine played resulted in melodies that are so beautiful and filled with so much emotion and feeling that I'm honestly tempted to listen to them again, multiple times, on repeat. Shows rarely do that for me, as background music doesn't always draw me in as much as lyrical songs do. Usually, it takes something so extraordinarily composed to give me the desire to listen again, and that's the case here. So huge congrats to Brad Breek for doing so. Seriously, the man's been killing it this season.

Eda’s Bard Magic Causing Things to Turn to Ash: This was assuredly a surprise side-effect of the curse. The fact that Eda can sort of do magic at all was its own shock. To then reveal that a specific type can do dangerous things to people and environments is...Well, it definitely brings up its own fair share of questions. Like, how can she do this? Will she do it again, one day? And are there other types of spells that can be negatively affected by Eda's curse? We don't get answers for any of these questions, and odds are, we never will. But that's alright with me. Because if a show makes me consider these many possibilities after a brief amount of time, it is a show that has to be doing something right. Even if I don't get the answers I want, the fact that it caused such a reaction makes me less willing to care.

Raine Whispers: Hey, would you look at that. Another fun, interesting, and compelling character added to the list of this shows' other fun, interesting, and compelling characters...how is this series so good at this!?

Joking aside, Raine's pretty good. I like Raine. They could have been this super serious leader who lost all their fun after years apart from Eda, but I'm glad that they're not. There are moments when Raine takes their job as leader of the BATs seriously, as one would, but I still prefer the fact that they kept a jovial nature despite how grim their situation is. It's an admirable trait to have, and it avoids the trope of making leader characters boring just because they're the ones who have to take things seriously.

Oh, and also, Raine's Disney's first non-binary character who has a stake in the plot. This is a tremendous deal, as you don't usually see that many non-binary characters in children's animation, let alone ones that hold importance to the story. So it's pretty cool for the writers to feature Raine, as it helps several kids feel as though they're finally seen and respected. And the fact that Disney of all companies gave the thumbs up is even more impressive. I hear people say that Dana Terrace should have pitched The Owl House to more progressive networks to avoid pushback, and while I absolutely see your point, I'll have to respectfully disagree. Disney is the largest entertainment industry of all time, so if you want to make LGBTQA+ representation normalized, you gotta stop making splashes and start making waves. Because if the same company that made three racist cats in the span of a few years manages to say that being gay is a-ok, then you know there's something wrong with you. Yes, Disney ended up screwing over the show anyway. But for that one moment, when kids felt pride after seeing a character like Raine, then, in the end, it's kind of worth it.

Also, if you're still having issues with more representation like this popping up in kids' shows, then allow me to redirect you to the complaint department.

...I made that post earlier today for this bit. YOU HAVE BETTER APPRECIATED IT!

Day of Unity is meant to be a Secret: At least, that's what I got when Raine stumbled over their own words. So if it's true, then I wonder why? Why does Belos want to keep the most critical change in the Boiling Isles a secret? Does he want to make it a surprise for his grateful subjects, or does he not want to spread worry and fear amongst the wild witches? It has to be something big if he doesn't want his followers to even say the words "Day of Unity." Whatever reason he has, we most likely won't know until the future. A future that I grow more and more afraid of each week.

Hooty Eating Echo Mouse: My heart sank in that brief moment when I thought that Hooty intensely screwed Luz over in getting back home. But looking back...it is pretty funny.

Just the suddenness of Hooty eating the poor creature that Luz desperately tried to earn its trust is priceless in how shocking it was. And also, Luz's expression.

That was the look of a young girl who immediately shoved her hand down an owl demon's throat the second the scene cut away. The Owl House may not always be a hit in the comedy department, but scenes like this prove that when it's funny, it is hilarious.

Luz and King Entering the Grand Prix: Not much to discuss here. It's just a cute subplot that adds frivolity to the intensity of what's going on through Eda and Raine's story. But I will say that I love how both stories occasionally interconnect with each other through the many moments of Eda being worried about King wanting to leave to find his father and avoiding any conversation about it. It helps both plotlines feel like they belong together, without being something like "Through the Looking Glass Ruins," whereas both stories could have been in their own episode. Which is neat.

How Bard Magic Works: I really love how this season is diving into how the other magic types work. More specifically, the ones that seem a little vague. I mean, stuff like healing, potions, and plants are easy to figure out, but what does it mean when a witch's talents are construction, beast keeping, and bard magic? We've been getting a lot of clearing up lately, with bard magic looking like a witch can control their environments and enemies through the power of music. Which is fair. Music is pretty powerful in the metaphorical sense, and I actually love that it's powerful in the literal sense when in the Boiling Isles.

The BATs: Not much to comment on these three either. The BATs have the potential to have an entertaining dynamic, but they do very little in this episode that I can't say much other than I hope they make a return in the future. But I will make this claim: Amber is my favorite. I'm sorry, but her screaming "You're not our mom!" to then go, "Bye, mommy Eda" is just too precious for me not to love.

I'm a simple man who falls for cute s**t. Leave me alone.

Raeda (RainexEda): Well, EdaxCamila, you were a fun crack ship while it lasted, but I'm afraid that this is now goodbye. The current canon has provided an incredibly adorable and believable relationship that I would be a monster not to support with my whole bi-heart. It's been real.

Ok, back in serious mode: I love these two together. Eda and Raine are grown-ups, and they still act all flustered near each other as if they were still Luz and Amity's age. It's definitive proof that you're never too old to get flustered near a crush, and seeing them interact adds a sense of wholesomeness when seeing them together as well as heartbreak when they're forced apart. Plus, we get confirmation that Eda's LGBTQA+! Whether she's bi, pan, or whatever, now that we know Eda can catch feelings for someone like Raine, it's yet another case that The Owl House is the most important series to the community. Because having the main character be queer is fantastic in its own right. But having the same apply to the motherly mentor figure? That's is an extra bit of normalization that anybody would be willing to appreciate.

Unique Guard Designs: Not many fans are going to appreciate this, primarily compared to everything else this episode does perfectly. For me, I actually like that you see a few Coven Guards looking differently from the others, as it helps make them less like clones and makes it seem like anybody of any body type could be a part of the coven.

Gus Looking Uninterested when Presenting Grand Prix with his Dad: I am positive that you didn't notice this (I didn't even notice it until someone else pointed it out), but there's something to dissect here. It hints that perhaps Gus isn't as interested in his father's field of work as one might think. If he did, he would look a lot less bored and much more excited to be helping Perry Porter present the race. It could just be the race itself, but judging from Gus' expression, it really seems like the kid would prefer to be anywhere but there. And why would he have that reaction to a race that his best friend is competing in? To me, this seems like an inkling of what Gus' relationship with Perry could be, which may not actually get time to shine, what with how little wiggle room the series has now (Thanks Disney). Regardless, it is interesting to notice, and it will certainly have fans thinking for a while.

Bump Being Smug of Luz Being in the Lead: That's it. Principal Bump looking smug as his human student is beating the students of his rivals is yet another moment that proves why Bump is easily the best cartoon principal.

Darius: First of all, this guy is f**king fabulous, and I love him. *Snaps*

Second, he is definitive proof that you do NOT want to f**k around with Coven Leaders. Lilith may have had her intimidating moments, but none of them compare to the guy who can turn himself into an abomination monster where only magic that hasn't existed before can take him down. It's genuinely scary to see Darius lose control, and I fear for the day when Luz inevitably ends up in his crosshairs.

With that said, Darius' still a ton of fun! He may be threatening, but he's just a flamboyant guy that hates the idea of getting his outfit the tiniest bit dirty. And I love that. I love that these Coven Heads have actual personalities instead of being generically evil. I consider it preferable to make villains entertaining rather than blatantly scary as I'll remember the personalities first and the villainous acts last.

Eberwolf: But this one's my favorite. I told you: I'm a simple man who gets easily swayed by cute s**t. And Eber? I mean, just look at her:

She's just a cute widdle rascal! I just want to pinch her cheeks, give her a belly rub, and--

...Eberwolf is not a cute widdle rascal. She is a strong, independent woman, and I will respect her as such from this moment forward...lest I feel her wrath.

That is all. Let's move on.

Eda and Raine Attempting a Final Performance: This was the best scene of the episode. It looked gorgeous, it shows the dedication Eda and Raine have for stopping Belos, and it says so much through so little. Go back and look at how Eda and Raine regard one another when performing Eda's requiem. Through their expressions and a few short words, you know they understand that if they complete the song/spell, they probably won't make it in the end. And yet, they don't care. They both know bad stuff will happen if Belos wins, so Eda and Raine put everything to the side, both their feelings for one another and the people they leave behind if it means putting an end to a tyrant. That level of dedication...Words can't fully describe how powerful that is.

Raine Sacrificing Themselves Instead: But in the end, Raine can't do it. Not when they know the life that Eda has and the people she'll be leaving behind. It's an extra bit of nobleness to the character seeing that Raine refuses to take away a woman from two kids who need her the most. A tad bit selfish, sure, knowing what Belos has planned. But when it comes to love, the romantic, familial, or platonic, the best decisions aren't always the logical ones.

Eda Crying: Luz crying tears me up, but seeing Eda cry is a whole different level of heartbreak. Like Lilith, Eda has her emotions locked up tight, with the closest she came to weeping were those two tears in "Young Blood, Old Souls." In "Eda's Requiem," she cries but almost quickly stops herself. As if she knows that doing so isn't going to save Raine. That is...even worse than seeing Luz break down after losing Eda. The fact that Eda refuses to give herself time to mourn losing someone she loved is tragic because crying is the most natural way of showing grief. Turning that off isn't healthy, and seeing her do it with little resistance is sad to me. It's sad to see a character I love can easily shut off all emotions despite how badly she may want to embrace them. It's one of those moments that, again, by doing so little, it shows so much.

“No one watches Crystal Balls anymore. It’s all about streaming.”: Oof. Even I felt that burn towards cable.

King’s Message: King's message was the pick-me-up I needed after the heart-wrenching sadness this episode put me through a few minutes ago. Seeing King say who he is and listing all the things he loves is nothing short of adorable. On top of that, I adore that Eda willingly recorded the whole thing. She may not want King to leave, but that doesn't mean she'll sabotage the one thing he wants. Especially not after Raine gave up everything so Eda could be with her kids. The opening scene may prove how much Eda cares about a rascal like King, but this heartwarmingly sweet moment reveals just how far she'll go to make him happy.

King’s Dad Reveal: ...ok, I'll be honest, I did not think we'd get that reveal this soon. Dumb of me to say, considering the number of times I've said that these writers don't waste time getting to the s**t, I know. But still, it's pretty cool knowing that King's dad is alive and well, added with the fact that we've got a fair idea of what he looks like. At this point, it's only a matter of time before we see him figure out where the Clawthorne residence is and witness the tear-jerking moments that will follow.

King Changing his Name to King Clawthorne: Not the official adoption I was expecting Eda to make...but DANG IT, is it still diabetes-inducing levels of sweetness!

Personally, I feel like the main reason why Eda breaks down this time is not only because she shouldn't be worried about King leaving her life, but also because Raine's sacrifice wasn't in vain. Her kids really do need Eda because no matter how far apart they'll be, she will always be a part of their life...dang it, I'm going to cry too!

What those Coven patches really do: Well...that was horrifying to see.

...Writers, if you kill off the best non-binary character in animation (it's a short list, I know), we are going to have PROBLEMS!

IN CONCLUSION

"Eda's Requiem" is--surprise surprise--another A+. The emotions hit hard, the representation hits harder, Raine is a fantastic addition to the cast, and it was all surprisingly cute at times. Season Two is currently on a hot streak, constantly winning with every episode that's come out so far. When a bad episode does eventually show up (IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!), I'll be sure to sing my requiem then. For now, I'm just gonna enjoy the ride.

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen