#your actual self just saying some extremely fucked up shit i guess!!

[boyswanna-be-her]

I'm tapering off one of my 2 depression meds to see if it'll help w my teeth clenching and anxiety, and anyone who has done THAT before knows how truly fun and exciting it is. Wow did I have some utterly fucked up dreams last night holy hell

[solar-wing]

⚣ Dick Grayson: NSFW Alphabet 🔵

⚣🔵 Words → 3.5k

REBLOGS & replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💙

⚣ ENJOY 🔵

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Caring and attentive. In other words, clingy as hell.

It’s amazing how someone who was just fucking you like an absolute slut could turn into the world’s most innocent and soft boy in existence. When you think about it, it’s actually a little bit disturbing as well.

But, I digress. Dick will absolutely pick you up and carry you into the shower or whatever you desire. He’s also perfectly fine with lying in the mess. He doesn’t care as long as he gets to cuddle you right after.

He will have an overwhelming smug attitude though, especially if the sex was preceded by an argument, disagreement, or the acrobat just wanted to teach you a lesson. He can be a little shit when he wants to be.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I feel like we all know the answer to this one.

Dick’s butt is praised so much, that you already know he puts extra time and care into making sure it stays nice, right, and tight. He not so secretly loves when you play with it as well, whether it’s a light slap or pressing up against him even though he’s always the top. Notable mentions: His chest, abs, and thighs.

If you assumed his favorite body part on you was your ass, you’d guess right. Congratulations! You win nothing except a hard and playful smack on said ass from the acrobat. You’re welcome! Honorable mentions: Your waist, thighs, and chest. His weakness is any kind of jiggle and he is not ashamed or afraid of getting caught staring.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He may not play basketball but he’s a shooter (kill me). He can pretty much cover you anywhere or reach your furthest depths inside (careful if it’s M-Preg or he’ll definitely be the father).

He’s equal with where he likes to cum. He likes to sum on your face, chest, and body just as much as he loves to shoot down your throat and inside your hole. And the filthy little acrobat will definitely lick your cum off his hand after stroking you to your own finish. Let’s be clear now, this man has no shame.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dick’s got a body count. Not as high as Bruce’s maybe but it’s up there. He can play innocent all he wants, but that man can and will get down when he’s feeling it.

Which, speaking of, he has definitely used Nightwing to land him some ass. No, I will not be taking questions.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Again, he doesn’t exactly have the title of a playboy like his adoptive father, but Dick’s been around the block. So he definitely knows a thing or two when it comes to the down and dirty.

Even if you are experienced yourself, I can guarantee Dick knows some tricks you don’t know which will have you, well…let’s save that for the bedroom, shall we?

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Face down, ass up, and no that was not a suggestion. Dick absolutely favors any position where your ass is bouncing in his face. Doggy, reverse cowgirl, spooning, standing behind, anything.

He also loves a good 69 moment and enjoys the missionary positions where he can really put in some power while inside you. You on the bed and him standing, countertop, or a stand-carry.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

If you know Dick’s personality, while the boy can be an absolute menace in the bedroom, he’s still a goofball at heart. Also, known for his witty banter, you can expect some wild stuff to come out that man’s mouth while he’s cumming to yours (tee hee).

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Dick is definitely well-groomed. He used to be a performer so he always took extreme care of his appearance. Keeps himself shaven and clean-cut, which definitely makes him appear bigger, as well as keeping those areas down there fresh and ready for any kind of play.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Dick is a romantic at heart. As much as he can be a little dominant shit in the bedroom, he’s always down for some soft love and intimate moments.

Candles, roses, food, massages with kisses down your body, maybe a little romantic dance before you get sweaty. You name it, Dick’s already thought of it and is thinking of more. Just as much as he wants to please you sexually, intimacy and romance never is off the table.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Dick is probably the most sexually active just behind Bruce, so you can definitely imagine that boy is no stranger to an evening alone with just him and his hand. Just as much as he knows how to please others, he knows how to please himself.

He knows when he’s in the mood to drag it out and edge himself while imagining or watching some slow, soft dirty dancing, and he knows when he’s frustrated and just needs to rub one out to get the edge off a little bit. Again, you won’t find many things in that realm that Dick has not either already tried or even just learned about.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Role-Playing: Once again, I bring up the fact that Dick is a retired performer. You know he’s one for the dramatics and theatrics, especially when it comes to sex. Whether it’s Nightwing coming to the rescue of some helpless dude, or instead that same person being abducted and forced to serve Nightwing to earn his freedom, nothing is off the table. And yes, as I just implied, that included CNC (Consensual-Non-Consensual). He’d never push you too far (unless variable circumstances apply), but he’s down to play any role. He’s the cop and you’re the guilty criminal he’s just arrested. You’re his student and desperately need a passing grade to graduate.

BDSM: He’s not too much into the lifestyle, but he definitely dabbles. He likes certain aspects of it, specifically the bondage, Dom/Sub roles, and getting to inflict punishments (his favorite being spanking cause it means he gets to play with your ass more). This also helps a lot with this abducted, helpless victim role-play when he gets to pull out the cuffs, rope, blindfolds, gags, and whatever else he’s got lying around. And he’s not opposed to the roles being reversed.

Dirty Talk: The guy is all about using his words remember. Self-explanatory.

Public Play (Exhibitionism): Dick’s not a sex addict, but he might as well be one with the way that man will drop his pants without a second thought, no matter where he is. Of course, he’s not just going to outright start doing it in front of others, but the thrill of pulling you into a dark corner, alleyway, restroom and the risk of you getting caught will always get him excited. Double points if you actually do get caught, because again, this man has no shame.

Honorable Mentions: Edge Play (choking/breath play), Impact Play (sub of BDSM, spanking, paddling, etc), Wrestling, Daddy kink, Mirror Sex, etc.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As we just went over, public places really get Dick going. Especially if he’s out as Nightwing and wants to pull you into a random alley or bring you to some high-up rooftop, he will happily christen a surface that is not within the confines of his own house or private dwelling, and he won’t feel bad about it.

Other specific places?

The shower, any counter or table surface, the Batmobile, his motorbike, literally anywhere in his apartment, etc.

He really has no reservations about where he does it, as long as he can get up in you, he’s content.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

#1 – He’s a horny bastard: Again, he’s not a sex addict, but he sure has the sex drive of one. It doesn’t take much to get him turned on. A casual, suggestive sentence, the way your shorts are really highlighting your work in the gym, how you're sucking on the straw while sipping your drink, or even when you’re just standing or sitting doing nothing, that man will get hard and he will pounce on you.

#2 – Domestic Actions/Life: This is something I forgot to mention with Jason so I’ll mention it here because I’m definitely head-canoning that they both share this in common. Any kind of domestic act. You cook him dinner when he comes home or pack his lunch before he heads out for the day. Helping clean up his house or doing his laundry and folding his clothes. Running him a bath, washing his hair, giving him a massage after a hard day or night. Waiting up for him in bed after patrol and patting the space once he changes out of his uniform, laying down and letting him vent about anything on his mind while you rub his body or head. All of it and more will definitely have him up and ready for fun.

#3 – Jealousy: Now, you may think I mean when someone flirts with you and he gets all macho and protective, rah rah rah. Nope, not at all (unless we’re talking Alpha Dick in Omegaverse. Then, that’s different because, by the rule, it’s a part of his biology to be). Dick is actually quite casual and will find it humorous when someone tries to even think about flirting with you in hopes of stealing you away from him. He knows his worth, and even more, he knows how good his dick is. He’s not worried. But, when it’s the opposite, and someone flirts with him because again, this man is literally one of the most attractive beings probably in the entire world, he absolutely will be turned on at the sight of you staking your claim on him, chasing off any hag dared flirt with him in front of you.

Honorable Mentions: Arguing/Make-Up Sex, Clothing, exercising, any kind of physical touch.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Nothing that could involve serious injury or blood. Also, nothing even remotely unsanitary. I mean scat/throw-up/piss.

Also, he may be into very public displays of affection but do not get it twisted one bit. Dick is not into any type of sharing. He’s a sweetie at heart, but don’t piss him off with that ridiculous idea.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Dick is the goat of throat. Yeah, I said it…what you gon do? Beat my ass or something?

Just kidding, but no seriously, this man has a reputation known among his sexual partners for the danger to society that is his mouth, and not when it’s giving off a witty/sarcastic remark. He’s been known to drive some people to the brink of insanity, metaphorically speaking of course. But, then again, you never know with these people.

He loves to receive head and loves to give it even more. Especially when he gets to play with your balls and deny your orgasm every time you reach the edge, the little bastard. Same can be said if he’s munching on that hole too, which he eagerly does cause the sight of it puckering and winking at him sends all the little happy flutters to his own groin.

Now, if we’re talking again about receiving, and you think you’re gonna have him putty in your hand like he does with you, think again. This man is the definition of a seasoned veteran. There’s only been one known time he’s ever gotten overwhelmed and came from just head, and that was when he was a teenager. If you’re hoping to do that now, you’d better have expert-level skills, cause he will test you. Facefucking, choking and gagging, and whatever else that comes to mind.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the mood.

High off adrenaline after an intense patrol or fight? Congratulations, you’re about to be his next victim. You got jealous and cussed out someone for trying to flirt with him? Prepare to learn a whole new meaning of getting rough sex. Wore some 3 in shorts to the gym AND did a leg day? Gon head and bend that ass over, you’re about to experience why he’s called ‘Dick’ rather than ‘Rich’ or something else for a nickname. Please cancel any plans you have for that evening or the next day cause you may not be able to walk, stand, or even move for that manner.

On the opposite side, did you take his Nightwing suit and hand wash it, making it look like the day he first put it on? Sweet lord, you’re a treasure and he’s about to show you why. It’s your anniversary and you got him one of the most beautiful and sentimental gifts? You and your body are about to be treated like an award that he is the sole recipient of. You cussed out Bruce after he did something stupid and reckless again involving Dick or one of the others? Not only is Jason blessing the ground you walk on, Dick’s about to drop down on one knee and propose, and then proceed to treat your body like a slut in the most romantic and sensual way you could ever imagine. As a precaution, still, go ahead and cancel any future plans just in case.

Dick truly has no preference other than whatever he’s feeling at the moment. Long, deep strokes, or quick, fast juts? Whatever gets the job done and reminds you there’s nobody better than him is good in his book.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Dick loves quickies. As chaotic and busy as his life is, he practically lives off them and craves them.

Again, this man should have his headshot in the dictionary next to ‘horny’ or promiscuous. Cause if it was up to him? He’d be screwing you once every 2 hours at least. Whether it’s a quick handjob he’s giving you, or he’s got both your pants down while rapidly fucking into you cause he’s only got five minutes before he has to get back, he’s doing it.

The man thinks they should be protected and enshrined into law. That’s how much he loves them.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’ll try anything and everything under the sun and moon as long as it’s not one of his already-mentioned no-no’s. If it adds excitement to the routine, why not? You never know with that man.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Very adamant stamina. His plentiful experiences have shaped it, and his physical training and endurance have added to it.

That man can do multiple rounds in a night, ranging anywhere from 3-5, and maybe even more if just that kind of night. He also knows his body, and can/will do what he needs to do to drag one round out for as long as he can until not only is he satisfied himself, but he feels he’s adequately satisfied you. And to be clear, you have absolutely no say on whether he feels like he’s satisfied you or not.

So please, get used to the idea of being overstimulated and crying at the 3rd or 4th orgasm he gives you before he’s even had one. It’ll save you a lot of frustration (not really but you get what I mean).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Dick, who again, will and has tried everything under the moon and sun. Of course, he has toys. What do you think this is? A playground? Please…

And trust, he’s going to get more. He’s probably signed up on a loyalty program with a sex store or website, and best believe he’s got diamond status.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A prayer for the innocent soul who unknowingly awakens the playful, petty, and vindictive part of Dick Grayson’s personality, especially when it comes to sex. May god, the universe, karma, whatever else have mercy on your soul and may the odds ever be in your favor.

There’s a reason I call Dick Grayson a little shit, bastard, fucker, and other various names because that is literally what he is, and I love him the more for it. He doesn’t get angry, upset, or even mad (unless it’s something serious). No, he gets petty, and that turns into him being the most teasing piece of shit in the bedroom, especially if you’ve challenged him in some kind of way.

Orgasm denial, forcing you to be quiet and stay still, sensory overload, multiple orgasms, and overstimulation; all this and he hasn’t even put his tongue on you yet, let alone his dick anywhere near you. That man is vindictive and will play on it until his heart’s content. Please, tread carefully when choosing whether or not you want to fuck with this man, especially if he’s in a mood.

Matter of fact, just run. Actually, don’t do that either. He likes the chase. FUCK! You’re screwed no matter what (metaphorically AND literally).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Dick gets loud. And he wants you to get equally as loud with him.

He’s not afraid to let out the sluttiest sounds, from soft and quiet moans to loud and debauched shouts from the top of his lungs. He can be quiet if need be, but he’d rather not. He enjoys the idea of people knowing he’s getting lucky and, even more, the idea of people knowing you’re getting lucky from him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

That man has an obsession with doing it in his Nightwing suit. You think he picked that style and aesthetic for something as useless as flexibility, quick movement, and durability? Absolutely not. 

Dick absolutely knew what he was doing when he had his suit designed. He wanted to look like a slut and nothing more, and that's okay! I mean, come on, you think his ass looking that good in his uniform was a coincidence? A mistake? How innocent and naive of you.

Everyone should have known Dick’s true intentions when they saw how sinfully deep the cut was in his first suit that we all know and love as Discowing. That man fully intended for his suit to be something he could fuck up and fuck dudes in while looking hot. It was non-negotiable.

Look at him.

Like, I'm sorry, but what the hell do you mean I’m not supposed to be turned on and have my legs divorcing like a whore who's being prosecuted in a court of law due to adulterous behavior with this standing in front of me? Are you unwell?!?!?

Yeah, respectfully no. I will forever headcanon that Dick Grayson knew exactly what he was doing when he had his suits designed, and it was the complete opposite of what everyone was saying.

“Dick is quick and agile."

"He’s lightweight on his feet."

"He needs a suit that will support and accentuate his acrobatic skills.”

Absolutely not. That man is (respectfully in an empowering context) a slut, on the inside and out, and he wanted a suit that would best show it to the world. I will not be gaslit into believing otherwise.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

What Dick lacks in girth, he makes up for in length and skill. He’s definitely not thin, but he's a little under-average when it comes to thickness. Somewhere between 6-7 inches.

More than likely cut, and has a voluptuous head that’s perfect for sucking on and teasing.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

We’ve discussed this in great length, multiple times. It’s self-explanatory at this point. The man is basically the human equivalent of a rabbit or bunny.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Dick can stay up long after the round has been up, especially if he’s in a mood where he wants to talk. Ironically, after fucking like some wild animals with the most questionable mindsets and morals, he loves to shoot the shit and have pillow talk after.

I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but Dick is basically a chatterbox and will ask you about your day, what you had for lunch, who pissed you off at work, and more while still buried inside of your ass with your dick pressed between both your stomachs. He’s also content with turning on the TV or whatever screen is available and watching a movie or something until you both fall asleep. Mind you, he’s probably still inside you and is going to try his best to stay inside even if he’s gone soft and keeps slipping out.

☀️ | Dick Grayson/Nightwing | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

[quinngefail]

Um. So

Wanted to do an inverse of that last drawing set, and the initial plan was for this one to also have an overall goofy tone. But I couldn't think of ways to spin humor into this one (save for the last image) given what I wanted to touch on, so...

I guess here's some divulgence of my post-bathroom-trap Lawrence characterization, but with a weird juxtaposition between Writing and Visuals because I still ended up using the Little Guy art style HRKGKG...

And same as Adam's post, if my writing is difficult to read, it's all in text form in the image descriptions! ^_^

I feel rather self-conscious about this one overall. But y’know, fuck it man. We're posting it regardless

More thoughts under the cut:

So basically... In my mind's eye, this is a man who has developed an extremely guilty conscious following the bathroom trap, and is now hyper aware of the consequences of his actions. He's been separated from his family, and is desperately determined not to fail anyone else; something that especially applies to Adam, and their relationship in general. And despite Adam having long forgiven him for what happened in the bathroom trap and making it very clear that 'I don't hate you, I could never hate you', Lawrence just cannot internalize this, and constantly has this 'it's the least I can do for you after everything I've done' sort of mentality towards far too many things in regards to Adam.

While also having serious bouts of that whole "You're just manipulating him so you can get your cheap validation and feel good about yourself-"

I'll elaborate more when I write my full thoughts out because there is SO MUCH MORE I could talk about but. FOR NOW THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION TO MY SICK AND TWISTED BRAINROT 🙌

Okay and like the overall tone on Adam's drawing set may have indeed been more goofy, but DON'T GET IT TWISTED that is not my perpetual approach to the way I think about + want to depict his struggles and all that. It was just certainly easier to throw comedy into his pieces lmao. And I've also got a whole lot more to elaborate on with him and his 20 million issues </3

And then lastly!! With the final image it's like I IMAGINE LAWRENCE DOESN'T GET AS CAUGHT UP IN BEING EMBARRASSED OVER BEING ROMANTICALLY CHEESY AND SHIT but y’know. Sometimes you're saying "what's cookin', good lookin'," to your boyfriend with no problem. But other times your brain crafts up "MI ADAM-ORE" and you just have to take a step back after actually going through with saying that one. And have your moment of regretting your every life choice. Y’know

Once they both realize + embrace how cringe + cheesy + corny they truly are. It'll be all over

That's all lol thank you for reading 👉👈

[austinsastrology8991]

Uranus and why your life is a ShiT ShoW > URANUS IN Yer HOUSe <

Uranus in the FIrst - You are the most unpredictable little fuck-head that everyone loves. They always change > there clothes, there direction in life > their hair colour. they thrive in change unless you try to change them, they are the ones changing and dont you dare change them, thats all they have left ;( Uranus in the Second. - Crazy self esteem issues. these people think they are the greatest then the worst person, also same applies to their income because they dont think they are worth much, until they invest into bitcoin and think they will be the next warren buffet. honestly the only thing stable about you is the perception of your value changing. But they love change, something to look forward to i guess Uranus in the Third your brain and communication skills are kinda fucky you know that dont you. you always know how to say something shocking, and extremely good at changing the subject of a conversation, like you dont have to say much, but what you do say just made everyone go huh what the fuck you say? its amusing tho we appreciate you Uranus in the F4urth - Emotionally avoidant, dependent, and attached personalities. They cant make their mind up on how they feel, so they experiemnt with every feeling to see if they vibe with that. mum was probably very unpredictable, and they wanna be like her. they just trying their best to forgive her <3 Uranus in the Fifth - Okay this one is the genius. This one people actually think your onto something when your showing off because you break free of every social convention, and archetype, but in the most perfect way. everyone believes your special, and you can change the vibe of a room like dat Uranus in the Sixth - what a fkn mess your life is. I had this one friend who would have 10 different drinks in his room and he would drink each one sparingly (they were all warm too). he had some serious health issues, and lets not get into his mental health okay. but yall have crazy lives and you make it that way Uranus in the Seventh - Im not a player i just fuck a lot. they choose their partners based off how interesting they are, if you can satiate their curiosity you got em. but if your boring or not worth figuring out yeah g-bye. also they just come off strange so everyone is extremely curious. they get projected on a lot but they dont mind its a good way to find out something interesting lol Uranus in the Eighth - Freaks who will do anything.... and im not just talking about sex, if they want something they'll find any way to get it. masters of attainment, even if its probably not healthy for them, they don't care if they want it they get it. then the object of their fixation changes as soon as they do get it. they are like obsessed with 'progress' but its hard to call it that sometimes Uranus in the Ninth - Clever minds who are always skipping segments of a speech, or a video to find the juicy parts. They have very quick minds that are so easily bored, but if you talk to them, they'll never not have something interesting to talk about. also when change does occur its a LOt Uranus in the Tenth - why are yalll like this. just baffling people like they know how to make an entrance and when everyone starts loooking at them, they decide to make fun of everyone by doing something a lil bit too shocking, almosst making fun of you for looking at them. gets off on shocking ya Uranus in the Eleventh - They wanna change the world, but not in a way that is practical. until it is. They have a million friends because they have a knack for understanding people, but when you ask what they want or what scares them. it just makes you rethink why your even friends with them in the first place. 12 - your crazy. and its endearing but everyone is this close to calling the cops on you or locking you up in a psyche ward. maybe tone down your retardation. we all got something going on but you take it to a whole new level.

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Jealousy Headcanons (SKZ)‗ ❍

Pairings : Stray Kids x gn reader

Genre/warnings : Mentions of jealousy, might get a little toxic, sprinkles on fluff because we love a happy ending, not nsfw but it's suggestive in a few bits.

Summary : How, why and when the Stray Kids get jealous. Not a ranking.

Word count : 2.8k

A/n : None. As always, of course, this is just silly writing. Don't take it seriously :)

ps: There could be errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Chan ‗ ❍

I feel like Chan would generally be quite chill, simply because he's someone who doesn't like to hang out with toxic people, therefore would try to avoid issues from the start.

But while with some other members, fo example, the reason would be their good/non conflicting nature (which it is, for sure), I low-key think that in Chan's case could be because he's actually quite aware that when he gets mad/ annoyed with something, he's not gonna let it go easily.

He also wants to focus as much as possible on the positive and wholesome aspects of a relationship, but could unfortunately, when the time comes to have an argument, may be showing his worst self. Someone that he also hates and would like to keep locked away.

These situations wouldn't come up in relation to jealousy though, unless the relationship itself was toxic. In that case he'd either end things pretty quickly or spend a lot of time being upset and arguing, depending on how strong your bond is by that time. In the second case I think things would end up either very coldly or very messily.

Again, I feel like though he might get insecure at times, his reasons wouldn't be tied to any other person except himself.

He doesn't give a fuck about random people's opinions, but he cares about yours. Which is why feeling like he isn't doing his absolute best for you would be the worst.

For example, if a coworker or a friend was kind enough to make you a surprise/gift/bring you food to cheer you up, he'd feel upset that he didn't think about it first.

He'd start overthinking and doubting himself, maybe beating himself up over the fact that you haven't been on many dates lately or he's been too caught up in work.

He'd also probably go quiet because he feels bad,but you would catch up quickly and eventually reassure him and work things out.

If you did happen to get a little jealous (a normal amount I guess?) he would make sure to talk it out and understand what made you upset. Communication is fundamental and he knows it, even though sometimes he can't deliver quite well as he would like. He would always end up apologizing, though.

Now, about the kinky part, I do think that he would be into being a little possessive. Mostly because he's just so in love and attracted to you that the thought of other people even thinking of 'getting a piece' would drive him mad. Don't worry, he's gonna let it all out and remind you exactly who gets to make you feel good.

If you did that to him, he would find it extremely hot and amusing. He likes the fact that you're as desperate for him as he is for you, and would be more than willing to let you prove it to him however you wanted.

Minho ‗ ❍

Minho is quite similar to Seungmin I think, but with a sprinkle of Chan in the middle. He probably wouldn't stand a toxic partner, but I feel like he'd be more into it kink wise.

He seems like a pretty confident person, but overall I think that his own security would come from the fact that he wouldn't be with you if he didn't fully trusted you and respected you from the start.

I could see him getting a little possessive when he saw/felt other people being obvious with eyeing you or flirting. It would be more a question of pride than anything, though.

'Yeah, you like what you see? I fucking bet, too bad it's mine' or some shit like that. He'd really get off on you also being into it. I'd say that he would find it amusing when someone tried to flirt with you, because he knew you are his and would never betray him. He'd almost find it funny to see the disappointment on their faces.

He'd also appreciate you making some similar remarks, but accuse him of actually cheating or betraying you in some way and you lost him. You should know better, you should know HIM better.

He can play around a lot but when things get serious or too much into the emotional aspect then he'll take it very seriously, too.

Again, he wouldn't be with someone that he doesn't 100% trust or that wouldn't trust him, so it would come as an unwelcomed surprise and probably have a big fight over it before he dumps your ass.

Absolutely no time to waste on problematic behavior, especially within a relationship that should be his safe place. It would also leave him quite hurt and overthink it a lot, even if he wasn't in the wrong.

Changbin ‗ ❍

This man doesn't have a single bad bone in his body. That's why he would absolutely despise stuff like jealousy, but he is human too and sometimes humans do get a little into their heads.

His jealousy would come from either lack of attention (in his regards) or 'too much' attention (from other people to you). For Changbin it would never be THAT serious regardless, truly. He's a little silly so could very well just be jealous, mostly in a humorous way, of you for example petting and praising a dog.

He'd pout and go like 'What about me :(' and make you shower him with kisses and attention. That's truly the most he'd go in terms of being jealous of someone or something. He just really wants you to himself, okay?

When other people seem to be giving you 'too much attention' (which realistically is never, unless it's unwanted), it means that he just wishes that he did it first or more often. For example, if a friend bought you a specific thing that you've been wanting for a long time. He'd be really happy to see you happy, but low-key wished that he was the one who gave it to you, instead.

Overall unless it's something that could directly impact you in any way, he doesn't care. If a dude at the bar was being an asshole he wouldn't get jealous, he'd straight up fight (for you).

If you got jealous of him though, depending on the situations and the dynamic of your relationship I think that he'd either find it kinda cute that you wanted him for yourself (and make sure to shower you with attention). On the other hand, if the jealousy came from a more problematic mindset, he simply wouldn't put up with it and would be quite annoyed that you even implied about infidelity.

I feel like the whole 'You're mine' thing could potentially be a turn on in the bedroom but to a limited extent. He seems like the kind of guy that would lean into the more wholesome aspect of the relationship and avoid problematic feelings, even if it's just to mess around in private.

Hyunjin ‗ ❍

The thing about Hyunjin, is that he's a hopeless romantic. This is both a blessing and a curse, I think.

One one hand, you would expect him to have quite high standards for both himself and his partner, meaning that if he decides to be with someone they 100% have to have a similar mindset.

Between all the art, music, poetry, cinema and such, I feel like he would spend a lot of times just thinking and fantasizing about the things that he has seen/read/heard, and would probably end up creating a whole new idea of love in his mind.

Which, again, could be a blessing because the chances of him purposefully hurting you or cheating are very low. But, at the same time, would maybe end up reading too much into things or situations and end up disappointed/upset, even when he doesn't have reason to be.

He essentially could very well take a grain of salt and make it into a whole ocean. He'd also be pretty easy to fix things with I think, because he seems very direct. He's either the type to blurt out everything at once or be so overdramatically upset that you couldn't help but ask what was wrong.

Hyunjin wouldn't stand toxic or overly possessive behavior, I think. He'd end up having a big argument and break up pretty quickly if the relationship was fresh, but could try to 'gaslight' himself into thinking that it's just because you love him too much, until everything inevitably goes to hell (and you'd have a messy breakup). Would 100% cry for days on end and let it out through art (all kinds).

I have to admit though, that I don't think that he would be completely against a little jealousy. Again, he's a romantic (a little delulu, if you will) and would probably like a bit of the angst/teasing that comes with possessiveness/jealousy.

Would 100% do some movie-like stuff like come up to you and kiss you passionately in front of a person that was flirting/eyeing you up and down a little too much, just to prove the point.

Would also probably enjoy you doing the same (still a normal amount, I mean). This applies to the bedroom too, for sure. The words 'I'm yours/you're mine' are probably in a whole special chapter of his personal romance mind-book.

Jisung ‗ ❍

Yes, he would get jealous. To an extent. He's very sweet and likes to have fun and play around a lot, which is why I feel like this wouldn't show as much if he was in a healthy relationship, maybe with someone who is calmer than him.

In that case I think that the occasional jealousy would come mainly from him wanting to be the very best version of himself for you, and seeing you interact with people that seem to be able to give you something 'better than him', would upset him.

He would definitely bottle it up and either wait until you notice or explode in a random moment of vulnerability. He'd feel so bad afterwards. Why would it be you fault if he was not being enough for you?

I also feel like these intrusive thoughts and overthinking would never fully go away, but he'd try to tell himself to at least trust you and the loving words that you tell him. He tells himself that if you're still with him, there must be something that he's doing right at the end of the day.

If he happened to be caught up with a more jealous/obsessive person though, it would get SO messy. He can be a hot head sometimes, or so we've heard, so of course if you put two hot heads together what do you get? A big mess.

I feel like sometimes him being so much in his own head could make him seriously question his actions, especially if someone else is pointing them out to him.

I think that an obsessive behavior from a partner would be an absolute deal breaker, but unfortunately it'd depend on how deep he is into the relationship.

If you were at the early stages, then he'd have a way clearer mind to end things. But if maybe this had been going on for a while or he was truly into you, it would be a lot harder for him to deal with it in a healthy way. You would end up arguing A LOT and probably be toxic as hell with each other.

That being said, I think that he wouldn't necessarily have a thing/kinks related to this type of behaviors, but angry/make up sex would 100% be a thing. In that case, I'd expect him to go a little crazy with it.

Felix ‗ ❍

Felix seems to have a similar vibe to Jeongin, I think. He'd try as much as possible to avoid any type of uncomfortable/bad dynamics in a relationship.

For this to happen, though, he would have to be with someone that matches his vibe and that he could trust completely.

I don't think that there are things or situations that could get him actually jealous per se, but he could be feeling a little insecure in very random moments.

Like a casual comment on another person that you may find attractive and doesn't share some of his personality traits or features. Or maybe not as much as he'd like, which means that he'll think that's also what you would like, so he'd feel like he's not enough.

He would tend to get a little into his own head in these situations, which means that it would be up to you to actually understand if something was wrong. He'd eventually talk it out and forget pretty quickly about whatever the problem was, with the right amount of praise and affection.

I think Felix would be really turned off with a partner that would get overly jealous or possessive, especially if unjustified. BUT, I wouldn't rule out him actually being a little into it either.

For example if he was getting his make up or hair done and you'd say something like 'I wish that was my job' or something similar to tease him. I feel like he would find it amusing and genuinely boost his confidence, since of course he loves you and wants you to want him, too.

Could see him play around with it in the bedroom a little, especially to tease you. Careful or he might start purring if you'd go with something along the lines of 'The prettiest boy, and it's mine'

Seungmin ‗ ❍

He seems to be a quite cynical person. And can be a little insecure at times. Put these together, and you'll have a pretty emotionally unavailable man (sometimes).

The two things that could get Seungmin jealous are self doubt and possessiveness. He's someone who will love with all his heart, but that could scare him sometimes.

He would almost be afraid of loving too much and feeding into a 'delusion' (hence all the 'I don't believe in forever' stuff), that if broken, would absolutely crush him. He'd mostly blame/get mad at himself for allowing his heart to take over his mind.

He'd probably be quite afraid of not being enough > get embarrassed and mad at himself > shut you out because he's way too much in his own head. It would take some cooling off and some overthinking before he'd eventually even listen to you.

He's also someone who values actions way more than words, and this particular mindset would be useful whenever he's feeling a little jealous or possessive. It wouldn't be that easy to get him riled up, and he'd also probably not really act on it either. He gives off a petty/cold shoulder type of vibe more than an outburst.

Any type of jealousy would eventually be born from his own insecurity, not from him not trusting you. These situations would be fixed pretty quickly as soon as you'd manage to get him out of his head, whether it is from some sort of verbal reassurance or a physical action.

For example a hand hold at the right moment, including him in conversations, a random word of praise, a sweet phrase. On the other hand, this jealousy could very well be taken out in the bedroom too, I think. Would kinda get off on the whole 'I'm yours/you're mine' thing.

In general unless if you were are a pretty obsessive person yourself, he wouldn't give you reasons to get jealous. He seems pretty shy and quite careful with getting too comfortable, especially with strangers. He'd probably reflect on himself and eventually either work it out or be a deal breaker to him.

Jeongin ‗ ❍

Jeongin also seems like a person that wouldn't like the idea of jealousy or in general to deal with negative feelings.

He can get insecure sometimes but I feel like he'd end up making the problem about himself and wouldn't get 'triggered' by jealousy in regards of another person.

The only times in which he could get slightly annoyed is seeing you have fun with someone else that isn't him simply because he wants to be the one to make you happy all the time.

Jeongin really does look like the kind of guy who is just chill. If there aren't any issues within your relationship, he's not gonna be the first to make them. I also think that he wouldn't overthink on these type of things. If he decides to be with you in the first place it means that he trusts you and you probably have a similar mindset.

That's why I think that if you ever ended up being jealous over him, it would come as a surprise and not necessarily a good one. Of course it's different if you're joking, but he still wouldn't put up with it for long. I truly just feel like he hates the concept.

If he was the accused one, at first he'd try to talk it out and understand what made you react like that, and eventually apologize to make sure that he never does it again. But if your accusations came out to be meaningless and it was you being obsessive, he'd probably end the whole relationship. Straight up.

It doesn't feel like a possession/possessive kink would be a thing in the bedroom, either. Not denying nor thinking too much on a dom/sub type of dynamic at all, I just think that remarkings like 'I'm yours/you're mine' type of thing wouldn't be his cup of tea.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[bitterduo]

STOP INFANTILIZING JAKE ENGLISH. STOP TREATING HIM LIKE HE IS FREE OF CONSEQUENCES.

Jake English is such an interesting character because the way he is written infuriates me (in a good way). I saw a particular text post saying basically that Jake English did nothing wrong and that Jane is an asshole for being upset at him. This is just… Wrong. I think a lot of people in general like to try and make Jake seem like he cannot do any wrong because he has neurodivergent traits and is heavily implied to be neurodivergent. This is not to say Jake was entirely in the wrong in some situations, but neither were his friends when they became upset at him. Because, guess what Tumblr, they are teenagers and teenagers are flawed as fuck.

The main thing I would like to talk about is the pages where Jane yells at Jake (starts at page 5521).

While obviously Jane’s passive aggressiveness did not help the situation whatsoever, she was very clearly upset at the fact that one of her only friends forgot about her birthday. After he realizes he forgot, he starts making up excuses. Obviously his forgetfulness is not his fault but I feel like Jane’s slight is definitely not unjustified.

Not to mention he doesn’t even say “happy birthday” to her once during the conversation and instead makes stupid quips and proceeds to dump his relationship problems onto her. Before then though, he goes on a huge ramble to try and avoid his problems (aka what he was initially going to talk about with Jane).

During his conversation with Jane where he should be moving on as he’s decided to, it’s obviously complete filler of a conversation where he repeated over and over how Jane is 16. He’s only talked to her about his issues for so long it’s obvious that he doesn’t know how to initiate in a normal conversation with her anymore. When she finally gives him the go ahead to say it (likely because she was tired of a nonsense filler conversation) he all too eagerly tells it as if he was just biding his time for when she’d let him speak. It’s an asshole move really.

Obviously communicating with your friends and being there for them when they are struggling is good, but whenever Jake seems to talk to Jane, it is only really about his problems. Not to mention, he never talks to the person he’s having issues with (majority of the time Dirk) and instead ghosts them for weeks on end.

Not to mention he’s the one to push her into the conversation.

If you actually read the conversation you will also notice that her messages become more sparse and short while Jake’s get longer while he rambles.

When Jake says “laying low” he means ignoring and avoiding Dirk’s attempts to actually try and talk. Not to mention he also insults Dirk by saying he is “needy” and that essentially saying he is tired of Dirk’s company.

And here we fucking are folks, the bread and fucking butter of this whole convo, the shit and jam. Saying that Dirk is annoying and that his “paranoid prophecy” (you know, the one about all of his friends hating him?) is going to come true, aka saying that he does hate Dirk and no longer even wants to interact with him. And guess what? Jake is not even trying to communicate with Dirk on the matter and is instead dumping all this shit ON THEIR FRIEND.

Anyways, let’s skip to when Jane starts getting upset.

In this scene, Jake is practically ignoring her until she basically begins screaming at him. Not to mention the two last messages from Jake are extremely dismissive and so incredibly un-self aware.

Again with his strange quips and being weirdly self deprecating and pity-ing towards himself.

You can very clearly tell she’s upset, reclaiming something she let be their thing but changing it to just hers. Instead of doing the rational thing which would be to apologize, continue this at a later date or ask what you can do to make it up, he focuses on the semantics of the phrase, trying to come up with a new one. This is very obvious that he’s avoiding the topic because he’s uncomfortable with the thought of facing these issues.

After that, on page 5528, she TELLS him the issue and proceeds to keep doing the thing that’s making her UPSET.

She then freaks out again and then Jake finally tries to do something smart by insisting that they talk about it tomorrow (something JANE insisted on EARLIER) and then when she gets more upset and Jake proceeds to basically Jane not to be upset (“Aw come on jane. be a sport.”)

TLDR; stop woobifying Jake English and acknowledge the fact that he also fucks up, just like his friends.

[izzysillyhandsy]

I sometimes wonder if the Izzy hate would have reached those dizzying heights if S1 had ended on episode 9.

Izzy would still have done almost all the bad things: making Ed unhappy, duelling Stede and wanting him gone, the deal with the English, his past with Ed/Blackbeard - except for hurting and threatening Ed after the breakup.

And even though all of this can be seen from different angles, it is possible to interpret it from the most damning perspective - and that should be enough to hate him, right?

But Ed wouldn't have turned into the Kraken, he wouldn't have killed Lucius, marooned half of the crew and cut off Izzy's toe.

And I am almost 100% sure that most of the Izzy hate comes from seeing Ed's drastic change in episode 10. Without it, sure, some people might have found Izzy unsympathetic or just unimportant, or a little shit. But that level of hate?

I guess what I'm saying is that a lot of the Izzy hate comes from "what Izzy made Ed do" and not from "what Izzy did to Ed".

Also, it is a way of dealing with the shock/cognitive dissonance of seeing a very beloved character turn "evil" after 9 episodes of being a gentle and misunderstood guy who is a pirate, yes, but who's fundamentally non-violent and good. How can you reconcile this with Ed suddenly killing a beloved (and completely innocent) character? And the extreme violence of the toe-cutting? (And yes, I know Ed burned people alive before, pirate-typical violence etc. But we didn't know these people and we didn't see them in close-up.)

But to blame Izzy for everything and to make him this evil part of Blackbeard - completely separate of "true Ed" of course - lets Ed still be the same gentle soul that loves a fine fabric, fell in love with Stede in the sweetest way and, although traumatized by his childhood, is at his core an innocent person that can be saved by removing the rotten influence of Izzy Hands - without confronting the self-hatred, self-centeredness, mistrust of others and tendency to violence that might be a part of "true Ed" as well.

And of course, if a group of fans started liking Izzy and maybe even defended/found understanding for his actions to a degree - where would that leave Ed? Is it really justifiable to fly into a murderous rage because your heart was broken (by a man you've known for a few weeks), because you're deeply unhappy and you've outgrown your pirate persona?

If Ed wasn't mentally abused by Izzy for decades, if it wasn't Izzy alone that drove Stede away, if Izzy hadn't duelled Stede out of the evilness of his heart, if Ed didn't desperately want to leave but Izzy forced him to stay in their toxic relationship, if it wasn't just Izzy and his hurtful words that drove Ed to become the Kraken...

...then maybe Ed wouldn't be an innocent babygirl anymore, and it would be much more difficult to see Ed/Stede as this perfect, unproblematic and sunshine-y couple.

It seems to me that seeing Izzy as "The Worst" and casting him in the role of the villain behind every bad thing Ed ever did is a quick and painless way to make Ed loveable without actually putting the work in (and the show actually avoided that up unto the death scene - one example is Izzy leaving in S1E4 and Ed manipulating him to stay; there are countless others).

I sometimes have the feeling that the hate for Izzy grows exponentially with more and more of Ed's darker side coming through in the show. And I don't get it - maybe because I am drawn to darker, fucked up characters and relationships. Give Ed his agency back and let him be cruel! Let Ed and Izzy have their mutually destructive, weird but intense dynamic!

Let Ed be a fascinating, loveable character with a (very) dark side - exactly like his partner for decades, Izzy - and you'll actually get a better character, and an additional fascinating relationship - as well as a more interesting story.

[charmikarma]

hallo it's me. (crookedgrifter) I'm back and I want your davejade / davejadekat thoughts. gimme

my thoughts huh ... i sure am a rambler so you're gonna get a whole essay on this

i guess in thinking abt davejadekat it always starts with jade. which is well enough because davekat has been talked to death at this point, hasn't it? i don't think i could tell you anything new or interesting about that dynamic at this point.

ANYWAY. jade. i kind of get into this in my polar express fic which ik you've read, but she is SO lonely. what the fuck are you supposed to do for ~10 years alone on an island with just a dog?? a dog who could take you somewhere else, somewhere with people, but he won't. and maybe jade knows why because of her dreams on prospit, but also maybe not! either way i think she puts a lot of faith in her dreams. it's kind of the only hope she has for the future.

i think she also has some hope in dave, this really cool dude she has this awkward internet middle school crush on. and dave is super cool to her too! i think it's implied he furry roleplays with her even?? cutest shit ever. i think this is the thing that has made me always love davejade ... they are just. so sweet to each other. dave clearly cares SO much about her.

the other thing about jade is... she's kinda fucked over repeatedly by the narrative, isn't she? she's the last beta kid introduced, so she has a lot less time to develop. the closest she really gets to developing is being really pissed off at karkat after her dreamself dies (i'll talk about this in a sec). her arc basically ends at cascade. her character arc ends in the dead middle of the comic, in a flash animation that contains exactly 0 character development. hussie says so himself in the author's notes. (don't even get me started on the author's notes jesus christ.) everything that happens on the boat is pretty much irrelevant, because it gets retconned out. instead she spends 3 years completely fucking alone, and we like... barely unpack this in canon.

so her life story up until this point is basically: raised by grandpa till ~3-5ish > living on her own till 13 > meeting dave briefly in the game > DAVE FUCKING DIES IN FRONT OF HER, WITH HER OWN BULLETS > she meets john briefly > JOHN AND DAVESPRITE FUCKING DIE > she spends 3 years alone with no solace except "yeah they had to die but you'll see them again in the new session" from alt!calliope and i guess a bunch of sprites and consorts and chess dudes. she says it herself: as nice as it is to have these folks around, they're not able to relate to her. they're not fellow thirteen year old kids. she may not be technically alone, but she is essentially alone, and she just 1. died twice in one day and 2. witnessed the deaths of several of her friends.

more on being fucked over by the narrative - jade actually has a kind of interesting dynamic with karkat in the middle of a5a2! what happens with this dynamic later on? fucking nothing!!!! like seriously i am so interested in this whole. self-hatred parallel that gets drawn between them and then how jade puts her foot down and is like you are fucking nuts. no more yelling at yourself. and it goes nowhere!! this dynamic exists for like, maybe 1% of the comic. it's really fucking sad honestly. even at the very end of homestuck, she has to be sidelined for being too powerful, thereby excluding her from all the endgame convos. like we cannot win with her

ok anyway, here's where i get into the stuff i think is really interesting. at the end of homestuck, alt!calliope tells jade that she's suffered enough, and that it's time for her to live her life how she wants to. we don't see how this plays out in homestuck proper, BUT...... the epilogues. sighs heavily.

i may be an epilogues lover but even i have to admit that jade's portrayal is.... a mess. i don't think it's wildly out of character, exactly, but it definitely toes the line... and it's definitely extremely fucking uncomfortable. it does, however, give me some insight into how i think about jade now, because while the minutiae don't really feel in character, i do think the broad strokes of what they were going for make sense.

jade took alt!calliope's words and said, fuck it. i will take charge! i won't wait anymore! i am going to have what i want. and she does get a lot of that! she gets to hang out with her friends, hang out with her brother, meet a ton of people, have a bunch of sex (presumably when she's older), and so on. but see... doing a lot of things doesn't really fill the emptiness she feels. she has so much love to give and not enough outlet for it. she needs all the love in the world and has nobody to give it to her. and she still has this big fat ten-year-old crush on dave strider that never went anywhere. but the approach she takes to life now is just... so incompatible with what dave needs. same for karkat. they both need a LOT of patience to come out of their shells, and jade is living life in the fast lane. the more she pushes, the more withdrawn they become. it is a disaster.

i want to fix it so fucking bad.

jade needs a lot of character development for all this to work, but the dynamic is absolutely there. some of their convos in early meat are so fucking funny dude, they are such good friends. it is absolutely not for lack of caring on either dave or karkat's part that things don't work out in the epilogues. it's this disconnect between what jade thinks is helpful and what dave and karkat need. i really want jade to find the balance between living at breakneck speed and waiting ten years for something to happen. i want her to feel loved for once in her damn life. and i want dave and karkat to stop being such depressing shut-ins. please guys you could balance each other out if you would just figure out how to communicate

anyway. there's your essay. it's mostly about jade. hope that's ok. i love jade harley so much my ultimate goal is to see her happy and mark my words i will figure out how

[weemietime]

Also imma be real with all the rat fucker Nazis in my asks, I actually completely know that I follow antizionist and nonzionist Jews. Fuck u for trying to use that as some kinda gotcha like I must look stupid reblogging from them.

You'd understand if you were capable of nuance on this subject, but I have been open about my desire for a ceasefire since day one. The only reason YOU GUYS classify me as a Zionist is because I specify it must be mutual and don't scream DEATH TO ISRAHELL GLORY TO THE REVOLUTION AGAINST THE INFIDEL JEW ZIO DOGS every five seconds.

A majority of my "Zionist activism" is comprised of the extremely horrendous view that terrorists are bad, actually, and religious extremism (including Kahanism) is a cancer on our planet. You won't hear me talk about that very often because guess what, folks like you reblog that shit with SOOO TRUE BESTIE, LONG LIVE THE INTIFADA 🙄

fuck you even more for using these people as your token "good Jew" to prop up and once again ignoring their own words where they repeatedly say they do not like being used as rhetorical devices by people like you.

Nonzionist Jews are repeatedly told incredibly disgusting things by Kahanists on here like that they are kapos and shit and guess what, I've been told the same. Fortunately not here but I've been active on irpal on Reddit for close to a year now and it's full of these extremists. They think they're clever saying shit like oh the Nazis will round u up ur a self hating Jew.

for insisting that Israel's bombing campaign is by definition indiscriminate due to Lavender not using human verification and bc its dataset is prone to error (like if your carrier recycled your cell #, it will spit that out as a target and then they will wait till that guy - who isn't Hamas just had a cell phone number erroneously associated to someone potentially in Hamas - goes home with his family and bomb his entire house).

Wrong, war crime. Perfectly possible to hold this perspective while not calling for all Jews to die or repeating blood libel. I've had Kahanists say that shit to me, too. Because to them, we are both kapos. But hey I guess that would require nuance and your brains are too busy being eaten by worms to comprehend the fucking concept.

[kinkyrius]

Need to think more about why I mostly bounced off Human Domestication Guide. A lot of the features of the setting are present in other work I undeniably really liked, but something about HDG just felt like it was missing.

My current best guess as to what's missing is that HDG doesn't feel very self-aware. The Affini are in the right because the story requires them to be, but they're still doing fucked-up shit while the narrative is putting them in that position as the saviours of humanity or whatever so it just comes across as disingenuous. To quite from the wiki's “writing guidelines”:

If you give the Affini a surface-level examination, they look pretty awful, but when an abusive human says "it's for your own good," it's an excuse. It's a deflection. It's a way to justify what they're doing to you. When the Affini say it, it’s true. They make it true, sometimes through bizarre and even unethical means (by human standards), but you will be better off when they’re done.

Basically the setting wants to place its characters in bad situations, but it doesn't want to grapple with what thoughts those characters might have on the systems in play or why they might think those things. (Those guidelines also say that the Affini won't tolerate exploitative systems. Lol. Lmao even)

There's a trope present in some kink fics to have society set up in such a way that some group of people are inherently “lesser” – sometimes it's gender (men or women having a position above the opposing gender), sometimes it's species (humans/beastfolk/elves/aliens/etc. being above or below other races), could be anything really – I just in general find this sort of institutionalised inequality to be rather distasteful. HDG manages to fall on the wrong side of this line for me with how Affini society treats other species, but this wouldn't necessarily be a problem if it was more self aware; there's a fic I really like that has a society where men are completely subservient to women – arguably an even more extreme case than HDG – but because it actually cares about the politics of its world it can actually do something with it that I don't dislike (though it's not perfect).

Plot is an interesting consideration here, my points sort of imply the necessity of the sort of detailed world you only get by having a plot, but like, I also read plotless porn, it just has lower standards I think. HDG doesn't have that much of a plot but its plot still exists, it sort of sits in a middle ground where it has enough plot for me to have higher standards for it, but not enough where it could do something interesting with it if it wanted. Perhaps this is different for some of the other works in the universe, there are still two fics I want to read but haven't found time for – Annabool's Divaricated and Kanagen's No Gods, No Masters – which are much longer and may fix some of my problems.

I don't hate HDG, it was a fun read and I can see why people like it, it just wasn't what I was looking for in the world of fucked-up porn. Also I think I've been a bit too absolute in writing this, there are very few things that are absolutes for me in fiction, I could almost certainly like a plot element in one story that I disliked in another for reasons so minor even I have a hard time seeing them, maybe I'll even come back to this tomorrow and realise I've completely misunderstood my own thoughts on the matter, oh well.

[sidekick-hero]

I want you to want me

(Teen | wc: 922 | steddie | prompt: open mic night for @steddieholidaydrabbles | tags: exes, open but hopeful ending, inspired by my favorite movie of all times 10 things I hate about you)

"Come on, Eddie. You've been moping around for weeks. Let's have some fun like we used to, man." Gareth was practically whining at Eddie and it was getting on his nerves.

"No way, man. I'm not moping, I just don't feel like going to some dumb-ass party to watch preppy jerks get drunk and barf in the bushes."

Never mind that the one person he actually wants to see won't be there. He'll still spend every second looking for that familiar shock of hair he loved running his hands through. He dreams about it still, can still hear the way Steve sounded when he tugged at the strands at the back of his neck.

He wonders when it'll stop hurting so much to think about him. To miss him like a fucking limb or something and still be afraid to even call him. What could he even say? I'm sorry for breaking your heart and I understand you hate me. The problem is that while acting like I cared about you for money I actually went and fell in love with you, so will you please give me another chance.

Yeah, sure.

"You're not even listening, dude. Harrington has really gotten to you," Gareth huffs, sounding genuinely upset. Eddie has hurt enough people he cares about, so he gives Gareth a look that says ‘I’m listening’ and Gareth rolls his eyes at him, but continues. "I told you about the open mic night, Will's reading one of his short stories and asked me to come. Me. This could be my chance. And you owe me man for all the crazy shit I helped you with while courting a jock of all people. So you coming or what?"

Gareth’s right, is the thing. Eddie owes him for everything, helping him in so many ways to make Steve fall for him. Coming with him to this stupid thing is the least he can do. He doesn’t have to like it though, so Eddie throws his arms up in the universal gesture of ‘fine, whatever, but I'm not going to enjoy watching you make goo-goo eyes at Will Byers’.

Gareth's rubs his hands together like some sort of super-villain with extremely fluffy hair and Eddie regrets all his life choices.

Open mic night is just as awful as Eddie thought it would be. There's this girl, something silly Thompson, and Eddie feels like he's listening to a small animal giving birth as she sings the national anthem. It's deeply disturbing.

He lost Gareth as soon as they entered the bar and Will spotted them and waved Gareth over. And that's a good thing, he's really not in the mood to watch them fall over each other.

They've been in this hellhole for almost an hour when he spots something that makes his stomach do somersaults while his skin starts to tingle all over. A shock of mousy brown hair, messier than usual, probably from Steve running his hands through it nervously.

His breath stops as he sees Steve climbing onto the stage with a single sheet of paper in his hand, chewing on his full lower lip as he stares out at the crowd. Eddie wants his eyes to find his. He is afraid that they will.

"Hey, uh, everybody. My best friend thinks I need to find some closure? Or something. Maybe she just likes to see me suffer for being an asshole in school. Anyway, I, uh, I'm just starting, I guess."

Eddie's stomach plummets at Steve's words. Closure. He should leave before he has to listen to Steve tell him and everyone in this room how much he hates Eddie.

He's not sure if he'll survive the damage to his heart, but he deserves the pain, he knows it. So he stays.

To everyone else, Steve must look calm, maybe a little embarrassed to be up there. But Eddie sees the way the hand holding the paper trembles, the way his eyebrows knit together, and the self-soothing way the fingertips of his other hand keep tapping his thumb.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick, It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Halfway through, Steve's eyes find his, and even with the way Steve pinches his nose, there is no way to stop the tears from streaming down his face. Eddie's heart breaks again for the man in front of him. God, how could he have been so stupid and selfish to accept an offer from Carver, of all people, to woo Steve so he could make a move on his sister Chrissy?

When Steve’s finished, he almost runs off the stage and out the door while Eddie stands shocked, Steve's words ringing in his ears.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Maybe they still have a chance.

[austinsastrology8991]

> Saturn ASPECTS < and why you ain't getting the respect you deserve Saturn puts you in shitty cycles/ patterns to make you; by breaking you > and when you inevitably return to these struggles, you'll realise you've mastered his circuits

yes i had break, im back now. so get over it.

Saturn aspecting Sun - loosen up. but everytime you do, something else fucks up. so now your the most rigid person. its hard to have a good time with yall, because you take things so seriously, but damn do you exceed when shit needs to be taken seriously - because your so careful in your movements 🚶‍♂️. they tend to have a habit of stating the obvious then smirking about it, which is so confusing because like we all knew that, but why you acting like you did something? this type of shit is why people struggle to chill around you, but ill ask for your advice about real shit because your obsessed with being an authority and like thats the only way to approach you guys without getting iced by you Saturn aspecting Moon - Stop crying. oh wait i meant to say; start crying. jesus you got some fucked up villainous back story but your stone walling everyone because it hurts too much to even open up to anyone. because i mean whats the point? if everyone is just going to tell you "its going to be okay" when you never feel okay. feels bad man, and you know better than most how bad feels.. man.. so i guess saturn wants you to accept how cruel the world is, and how that affects everyone, so you are more prepared for bad circumstances then most. hardly a positive spin, ik.. but its to prepare you for your future. and you have no idea why you must go through so much pain - but there is a reason, and it will become clear later, so better utilize that energy to your benefit; because its just another one of saturns bitch cycles

Saturn aspecting Mercury - when you speak, people try there best to one up you, but your a master at it by now > passive aggressive, or authoritative - who gives a fuck if you belittle the other person, because i mean if your right, then you right. so better off writing it into reality, rather than watch everyone clown around with the wrong answers. but speaking ths way to others, really does make it hard to talk to you, even if you right, your just a fkn asshole. so honestyl. stop trying to figure out the right answer, and think about whats the right thing to say. stop pretending to be an authoritative speaker if no one even wanna listen to you, and start owning what you say more. Saturn aspecting Venus - joecly flores on repeat. okay i get it. you dont believe in love, because you see it how it is. well. its not actually how it is. youve ruined all your chances of anyone ever gonna love you because you think being all cold and mysterious is attractive (and it can be) but i mean who tf wanna love someone like that. its like riding a bike uphill. i mean i dont wanna do that. like these people are always attractive, but their attitude is so hard to ignore, its like trynna make a spider smile. thats why people reject you more than anythng else. and Ik that your just trying to find the real ones, but guess what, everyone that ever talked to you/ flirted with you, liked you.... oh thats too shallow or optimistic? my bad Saturn aspecting Mars - I never do anythng right ;(((((( well you actually do a lot right, but your always doing too much. your so obssessed with perfection and being a high achever that you've forgotten everything you've achieved becayse your so focused on the next one. if you just reflected on how much you work; in comparison to most, youd realize you are big achiever, and you dont understand reality as well as you think. well okay you do undersatnd reality extremely well (because you try so damn hard lol) but you've lost your sense of self because you still dont think your worth it till you achieve the next thing- hence the cycle of working yo ass off - but hey you'll achieve a lot, you just need to perfect your perfectionistic tendencies -then youll finally be perfect! (get it) Saturn aspecting Jupiter - i think this aspect is one of the coldest. because these people try so hard, but get no where for the majority of their life. till they change perspectives and realize if they try harded else where, they'd get launched into success. i mean the amount of people who are successful - and i mean hugely successful > have this aspect - and everytime it was due to massive luck. however only they could grasp the 'lucky' opportunity, and that initself makes their achievements so much cooler than others. remember its jupiter, so all your 'hardships' inevitably become your greatest 'luck'. the white guy from 'sean of the dead' has this, and look at how much he impacted movies in general... jus saying mad props to that guy and to yall

Saturn aspecting Uranus - okay these guys are outcasted from society hard, due to some bullshit, but when they get recasted back into civilization they become someone who can change society at large- but its gonna take so much work... their perspective has been molded differently to most because they've been alone for so long. they have strange ideas that somehow work into tangible assets. perfect example : eminem - i mean hes basically best case scenario with this aspect, but hey why not try for best case scenario? but then again he made that hamster song... so i mean not always best case scenario... THats the price of neglect you could say lmao. Saturn aspecting Neptune - your imagination is your greatest challenge but also the key to your ultimate glory. like Michael Jordan had this aspect and well he was hella delusional. until he wasnt.... but its hard to say how much this benefited him... because both stages of his life - pre glory - and; glory - he was heavily isolated from everyone, and (likely) suffered in seclusion, by placing so much importance on his dreams. saturn wants you to master the 'spiritual world' i.e. imagination and dreams, and this causes anxiety that their dreams will just be dreams. which is what makes them put so much effort into it becoming real... then they realize the price of it all when its too late. so just make sure your aware of what your manifesting because if anyone can make it, its you. (achieving ur dreams) Saturn aspecting Pluto - how powerless do you feel. you do realize people can see how thirsty you are for respect/power, because they can sense your insecurity from past exepriences, and thats why your easy to play with. but do not worry. you will attain true power with enough effort. not just a bullshit image of power. because you've been pushed into the most vile trials to have ever have existed, and its only so that when you become someone powerful, you utilize your power properly, and do not step on others, because you know damn well how much it hurts to be stepped on. so your power is > saturn. your trials are so intense, and you're basically broken, but things that are broken know how to cut others (like broken glass). and well saturn wants you to master this > pluto > the darkness. and it makes reaching the top so much more palpable, because you'd feel like you earnt it. but you can make others insecure about what youve overcame so you better be humble, or saturn will fuck you. no honour among thieves, and we know you experienced that, but the kings play different, and you gotta adapt or saturn will flatten you.

[ahiddenpath]

Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning

I just got home from seeing the Japanese audio/English sub. This is not a review, and I doubt I'll feel the same way about it in a few days, because I'm all up in my emotions and I haven't had a think on it. So here is nothing more or less than my visceral, 100% subjective reaction.

Extreme spoilers beneath the cut, spoilin spoilin all day long. Also cussing and blaspheming, apparently I like to keep it classy.

My head is a boiling vat of pudding.

As the film ended, someone screamed, "Toei why you gotta do us like that?!" Someone else yelled, "Jesus Christ I did not need that in my life." As we filed out, another gem: "They had a digital god in this one, and they still didn't unfuck Kizuna." (That last one, I think, while funny, was not relevant. This wasn't about the older kids, they had their turn and several more, lmao).

Some notes:

-Genuinely I was not prepared for a horror. Or child abuse. I love horror games! I watch them nearly daily! Did you know I have only once been more upset/disturbed by a horror video game than I was by this movie?

Did people take their kids to this? Like, that seems totally reasonable to me, taking your kid to digimon!!! Jesus cHRISt!!!!

-I thought my bar of, "I want to see the 02 kids grown up and interacting," was so, so low. I thought my bar could not be lower. But this was Lui's story, not theirs. And this is Toei's story, not mine, so I have to accept that... They wrote what they wanted to. But yeah, the bar I thought was low was not cleared.

-SOMEONE HELP ME, Himekawa is older than Lui. Himekawa's group, they were the first Chosen. Right??? Does the time line not shake out here??? Himekawa was probably about 10/11 when she was Chosen, and she's a full ass adult in Tri??? So, like, I guess the question is, how much older is her group than Lui at age 4? Are they at least 6 years older???? But- God what age would that make- God damn let me get the chart. Shit, I'm lost. Help??????

Shit I liked:

-Lui's second birthday scene

Not the original scene where Lui meets Ukkomon. This is the second birthday, his 8th birthday, where they sit in a dark room full of presents and treats. Ukkomon mentions Lui's parents and friends. They enter the room and proceed to not say a single ducking word while Ukkomon and Lui talk and talk and talk, and it is the creepiest and most atmospheric shit I have seen. Holy shit!!!!

Obviously, the audience already knows shit is fucked up with Ukkomon, but at this point, ooooooooooooooooo baby that tension is HIGH.

-Power in the hands of children

Ukkomon is, like, seconds old when he meets Lui. Lui is 4 and extremely disenfranchised, even for a 4-year-old. Lui wishes for what he doesn't have. Ukkomon devotes his whole self to those wishes.

What happens when a 4 year old meets a baby genie? When that much power is in the hands of the innocent?

You don't want to know, trust me. Lowkey wish I didn't know!!! Christ on a bike!

As much as we love digimon and the Chosen and all of that, it's always been messed up how much power they have, and how much responsibility. It's so much pressure, it's so high stakes! It was really cool to see Toei explore how sideways all of this could go, literally at any moment.

-A few character moments

Honestly that part where a girl is chatting up Ken and Wormmon is visibly pissed is, like, my favorite thing in this movie. Oh! Also I loved seeing the international Chosen, that was so great. The gut scream of WALLACE/WILLIS in the theater when he appeared!!!!!!

Bonus:

My husband said he liked how there was a command center in Imperialdramon's head. I think that was actually some kind of... plane??? Made by Ukkomon??? I have no idea. You know, the place where Ken and Daisuke are accused of flirting.

Stuff I didn't like

-It was half flash back

I'm being a little harsh here, because stuff other than flashbacks happened in the first 46 minutes, but... I checked my phone after the final flashback (not counting Lui jumping into Ukkomon in the end). I was 46 minutes into a roughly 90 minute film. I'm not against flashbacks in principle, and I tend to like new characters, but... This just wasn't what I hoped for in a movie about the 02 kids. I accept that this is 100% subjective.

-It was too damned fucked up for my tastes

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus H Christ!!!!!

Okay, so first of all, I generally am of the opinion that a lot of recent media has substituted trauma for substance. It's easy to make an audience pity/relate to/feel protective of a character by showing them suffer.

Lui wetting himself was so disturbing for me- in children, that's often a sign of ongoing abuse. I could easily be reading into it, but that combined with the range of age of his bruises (and he had more fresh contusions, too, they start red and turn purple and brown and eventually a yellow green) hinted that this wasn't some one off occasion caused by a sudden spike of stress. That was Lui's life. And he really might have frozen to death that night, if not for Ukkomon.

In a way, if I'm right and not just reading into things, this scene was well done. But also, like... I just don't enjoy the substitution of trauma for gradually making us care about a character and understand what they've been through. It seems like some kind of heavy handed short cut, and it usually has the opposite effect on me- thrusting me out of the narrative and making me distrustful of it.

Or maybe I'm just distancing myself, because I genuinely get so upset.

And don't even get me started on the scene where Ukkomon dissolves. I was not ready for that shit. It was just too much for me, I'm sensitive, lmao!

-I'm not sure what I think of the Chosen reacting to Lui's story

I kind of felt like the Chosen were oddly hard on Lui? They weren't actually, in reality they encouraged him to find a resolution with Ukkomon and reminded him that relationships go two ways.

But, like. Could someone have, like... Idk I was really waiting for someone to cry or hug Lui or reassure him or something? Instead it was like, "Poor Ukkomon. He tried so hard and you relied on him too much!"

And my visceral reaction to that was, "UKKOMON KILLED AT LEAST ONE OF LUI'S PARENTS AND MADE THEM MEAT PUPPETS FOR YEARS, JESUS!!!! AND YOU WANT LUI TO GO SEE UKKOMON AGAIN?!?!?!?!?" Like, that whole thing was literally a nightmare??? But Ukkomon was an actual whole ass baby god, and then again, as my husband put it, "Ukkomon did what CPS wouldn't." Lui needed help, stat.

I'm gonna need some time to sort how I feel about this. I can say that, as I watched, I felt like the emotional tone was really off for the last half of the film. All I could think about was the horror, and any time someone criticized Lui, or even told him to go see Ukkomon, I was just like- MEAT. PUPPET!!!! MEAT!!! PUPPET!!!! (Did those kids that Ukkomon made Lui's friends also die?!?!?!). Literally, snow was falling and the Chosen were playing, and my head was like, MEAT. PUPPET!!!!

There's no walking back that emotion, at least not in a 40 some minute window. Not for me, personally. I'm probably going to have nightmares. If I knew going in that this was a horror, I'd be fine with that. But gdi I though I'd see my blorbos having good times mixed with a plot.

Instead, nightmares.

-Lui's final scene with his mother

Lui tells himself, "This time, when I go back in time... I won't rely on Ukkomon for everything" (paraphrasing). He sees his mother inside his memory of his 4th birthday. He says to her, roughly, "Lui loves you, please remember that."

And magically, the mom is kind to him that night.

Now, to be fair, even disastrous relationships can have good times. Maybe it would have been just that night that was better. But there was this feeling of, "Oh, if I just talked to my mother when I was 4 years old and horrifically abused, it would have been different."

That just isn't how that works. If I had to guess, the film is just supporting communication. But god, don't ever point back to the child victim like that. Too bad that 4 year old doesn't know how to communicate with his abusive caregiver! Things might have been different!!!!!

I'm sensitive to this kind of thing, so it's totally possible I'm fixating too much on this or blowing up the importance of this moment. But yeah, not a good emotional reaction to that.

In summary: this was not the film I wanted. In fact, it's a film that will stick on me like a burr, but like. In a bad way? But also it did have some killer ideas. Ukkomon has to be one of the most interesting things to hit Adventure in years. So much power in the hands of an innocent, so disastrous so very fast.

My brain is still pudding. Time for some nightmares. Good night, I hope the film didn't distress you if you saw it! And my sympathies if you took your children, the biggest of oofs (how could you have known??? You couldn't have).

[doodle-do-wop]

Stina and Keefe HC inspired by this post!

Buckle in this is gonna be a long one

Stina can't fucking stand his ass

Someone save her he's so annoying

Why in the name of the prime sources does Sophie even like this boy he's so obnoxious

He's not even that funny literally why is she laughing at all his dumb jokes

She's in the trenches

This is her personal Exile

Stina can't fucking draw

Like at all

She can't draw

She can draw a horse! A really good horse!

But nothing else it's indistinguishable unless it's a horse

They're literally the same person in a different font

They're both empaths with self esteem issues, the hair(tm), down bad beyond down bad, extremely corny, actually touch starved as all hell, would crack a hole through the earth to reach their partner, self sacrificial morons, unnecessary sarcastic while bleeding out, sassy, detention occupants so frequently in detention once they both attended when they didn't even have detention

They're two cats in a burlap sack(Keefe's the orange one, Stina is the grumpy black cat that will actually kill him if left alone in a room with him)

The simping, did I mention the simping?

Keefe and Stina DONT get along (mostly just Stina) for bloody ages and Sophie and Dex (yes this is also a CopperMares post) wish for them to just grow up and be able to tolerate each other for more than five minutes (Stina lasted SEVEN minutes thank you very much) and the cousins immediately regretted that wish because they forgot how annoying their partners can be

The empath duo will do anything and everything in their power to flirt with/look hot in front of/tease/taint/smirk/smile/wink etc etc etc at their respective partners and it drives them crazy

Sophie and Dex have not know peace (to be fair look at who they're dating, it's a conscious choice)

Keefe might technically be older but despite his white boy attitude and his looks you'd think Stina was his older sister the way she will fully strangle him within an inch of his life and then yank him out of his shoes to buy him lunch

Empaths by genetics, siblings by torture

She still can't stand his ass but at this point that's just Stina's weird way of saying she cares for you (just look at Marella, Stina literally tackles the shit out of her despite Marella being about as tall as your average stepping stool but Stina would still lay down her life for her)

They hang out in the silliest way possible and it's trashing Cassius' house and getting ice cream (not always in that order)

Once they found one of Gisela's wallet cubes and they went to town buying supplies, food, clothes, random furniture (some of which may or may not have been shipped to the neutral territories, what are you a narc?), got their usual ice cream (Stina makes a face at Keefe's order but he swears when there's just the melted stuff at the bottom of the cup it's flavors mix really well) then they leap off to Candleshade and use some of their supplies to trash the house (again)

Cassius' big ass statue of himself has never seen a good day since the two have gotten along

They haven't hit all the floors yet but they will some day

It's a shame the Sencen's suck because they have pretty great taste in furniture and silverware

Sometimes they spray paint a big ass target and have a contest to see who can throw at Cassius statue on the bullseye and get it to stay on the wall (Ro is winning by a lot but Stina's telekinesis is getting really great)

Not an AU goes by where Stina hasn't somehow been stuck with Keefe and at this point I don't think there is

Keefe pretends like he can translate Stina's Stinaness the way Maruca can (ex. Stina telling Maruca she hates her and hopes she falls on her face and Maruca responding with "I love you too Stina") and he's almost never right

Stina 'commit to the bit' Heks has fruitlessly vetoed every Keefe Idea that's ever been brought to the table but guess who's the first person to jump on the bandwagon the second the plan falls into action

Sophie and Dex swap scoldings with each other before they go yell at their idiots for whatever big stupid thing of the month they've done now because otherwise the said idiots might be able to flirt their way out of most of the scolding part

Top 5 people who would sing Agony the way it was meant to be sang, dramatically, competitively, and over a waterfall on the forest with very dramatic very swoonable action

Keefe is princess coded while Stina is reluctant but roguishly handsome prince coded you cannot change my mind

Both would be Flynn Rider though (Keefe can also be Rapunzel though, Stina on the other hand could not)

There's probably so much more I'm forgetting but this is long enough for now

Anyway thanks for reading this all if you have and have a good one

@myfairkatiecat

[phoenixisobsessed]

Does your black and red oc (Night Runner I think?) have any lore? Like I see you post them sometimes but I don't know much bout them

Also I've seen multiple designs, what continuity are those each from? Or are they all redesigns? I assume the big one is from prime because it looks really detailed??

Oh bro somebody actually asked me about this holy fuck. You better be SO READY.

So all of the different versions are from different generations yes. My ultimate goal is to make one for each continuity but yk.

So this would be Nightrunner animated ^

That’s Nightrunner IDW ^

Then there’s Transformers Prime ^

And of course, generation 1. ^

And y’all better be ready to hear extremely self indulgent “I don’t give a shit what other people think” cringe levels of lore.

So, I created Nightrunner with the thought in mind that he (and his twin brother, Nightmare) are made using Megatron’s genetical code. Which MEAAANS yes they are in fact sons of Megatron. Yaaaaaayyy!!!! Off to a great start guys. Basically they were created like mid-war, and heavily modified as sparklings to become weapons, and were experimented on to see just how efficient you could artificially make a Cybertronian, especially at a younger age. Imma be focusing on Nightrunner rn though.

(EXTRA NOTE: This is mostly within an AU I have so universe facts and shit may be different. 🔥 This is what I have made for funsies.)

(Blue text is gonna just be a bunch of fun facts of his systems/functions)

His pain sensors were turned way down, but to counter that bis system scanners are extremely sensitive and constantly activated, so he’ll immediately get alerted if ANYTHING is wrong. But, it means he can handle more abuse and last longer in battle. He’s a slight bit taller than your average bot at around 6-7m (depending on continuity I guess) and stands at 8 meters of height. He is in no way the biggest bot though, since he is specifically designed for stealth and speed. (He is surprisingly light for his size as well!!) He is also a triple changer, being both a jet and Ferrari GT3 296. (Don’t ask me how his designs make sense with that, they don’t and I don’t CARE.) So he lacks a bit in strength, but he makes up for all of that in speed. His morals have been turned all the way down as well, again having been designed as an actual weapon, and 99% of his life has been combat training and stealth missions. Like his dad is a warlord, what do you want. But he actually doesn’t get to spend that much time with his dad as a sparkling since, he is a warlord and is busy af. So instead he gets sent around to different Decepticon commanders for training and such. Or he’s forced to stick around his brother so he won’t run off and cause trouble. In his later years though, (post-sparklinghood I guess) he’s a great spy/assassin, who usually goes on high-profile or more dangerous stealth missions. He often does infiltration, or outpost-takedowns. Intel gathering is his main thing. He does though struggle with extremely horrible nightmares due to his difficult upbringing, and the war, but he’s usually nocturnal, going on missions after dark. Again, depending on continuity he very much enjoys spending time with Skywarp, or Knock Out. Some people he can gossip with. And he usually uses charm to get out of trouble if ever finds himself in deep shit. Horribly desensitised to violence and death. I’d say that’s mostly his lore though.

TLDR; Megatron’s son, created in the middle of the war, experimented on and made into a weapon, now a very successful spy with some kind of PTSD.

I don’t have any very specific stories of him really I guess. He’s just a silly little guy. I guess I have a few stories where they used him as an undercover spy before the Autobots found out about his existence, where he used the name Blacknova. That’s a kinda silly thing.

[enasallavellan]

Antivan Crow Headcanons

So, I have some headcanons about how the Antivan Crows work. Since I wanted to dive more into the Crows' inner workings in my most recent fic, I decided to expand on the whole thing in my little gremlin brain. Now, I've decided, that maybe people as gremlin-like as me can see them too!

Couple of things: I refer to the Crow houses as nests - I don’t know if I made that up or read/heard it somewhere, so you’ll hear me use that term when I’m talking about the actual area/building the crows inhabit. And also, to avoid sentences like, ‘The crows didn’t like when crows blah, blah, blah, I will from here on out refer to the overall group as the Antivan Crows, and individuals as crows. I know it might sound a little weird and repetitive, but I can’t really find a good way to do it otherwise.

SO BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS, IT'S GONNA BE A WILD RIDE!

(under the cut, obviously)

Different Nests, Different rules.

This one is very self-explanatory. Each house has a slightly different culture, rules, and standards.  Some nests don’t get involved in certain jobs and hold their Crows to some sort of code.  Most have at least a few hard nos of what sorts of jobs they take and what behaviors individual crows might engage in. For instance, one nest might forbid their Crows from making deaths needlessly painful or prolonged if the mark hasn’t actually done anything wrong, just pissed off a noble. I’m sure there’s at least one nest that is kind of a ‘do whatever, we don’t give a fuck’ house. But most have some sort of hard nos.

The Way Things Stay the Same

So, Zevran mentions that the Antivan Crows put their younger recruits in a building near a tannery, which leads me to believe that they have different paces for different people. So, maybe up until they’re a certain age they stay in the same area as the prostitutes. I’m just gonna guess maybe 8-10ish when you can kind of take care of yourself. They get shipped into a building with as many kids as they can put in one room and with only the occasional crow to stick his head, see if anyone is dead, then leave. As the recruits get older and continue to show promise, their living situation will change.  Older recruits that have survived the first slew of training that tends to kill a lot of recruits, might get a tiny little crackerbox room. Like five feet by five room with a bed, but not just a bed  - a very small trunk for personal belonging and a hook to hang shit with! Too tall for the provided bed? Find a way to get comfortable, because you’re stuck there for a bit. 

Because what better incentive would a kid in this life than to let them go from a shitty place with no privacy (especially as they get older) to a slightly last shitty place where you have a mild amount of privacy in your tiny room and paper-thin walls. (I like to imagine that every so often a few of the recruits are roughhousing and get knocked/fall into an interior wall they just end up on the other side of it covered in debris).

Eventually, you move into the nest proper with similarly small rooms but now it's near the food and you don’t have to walk twenty or thirty minutes to food.

It would be within the Antivan Crows’ best interest to keep their recruits and crows in a somewhat central location so they can have as much control over their crows as humanly possible.  Having basically ‘dorms’ for the crows would be a good way to do that.  And you can get some nice places if you get good enough, so there’s still a reason for the recruits not to run away. Just as Zevran says - a crow is well supplied with sex and alcohol, but as far as having a lot of personal freedoms? Well, he did say it was a gilded cage. Granted, there are crows who make enough money and are regarded well enough that they can live some very lucrative lives - some might work much less than others, but because they’re extremely skilled at their job, they only need to take a few big jobs here and there and have no issues.  But the average crow lives a relatively short life and with no way to extricate themselves from the Antivan Crows.

But there are other reasons for all the crows to control as much as they can. They have control over food, which I’ll talk about a little more when I talk about the kitchen girls.

No Idle Children

Younger recruits do simple tasks; bringing written correspondences around the nest, making deliveries, and acting as gofers to whatever a crow happens to need something (just snatch a kid running past for immediate service). As they get older, they do more and more complex jobs. Occasionally, kids might actually assist or participate in jobs.  Acting as bait or a distraction is a great job for the younger ones. A little girl rushing up to a stranger, begging and pleading for assistance, would be a very good way to get the target right where a trap is waiting for them.

This also gives the recruits time to watch things in action. A well-regarded recruit might go to complete a job with a fully trained crow if they’re deemed skilled enough - and may even get a few coins for it. 

Second Generation Crows

They have to exist. The Crows have access to the brothel, there are going to be kids. But this can be a very weird and tricky thing to handle depending on the parent. 

Your average crow is probably not going to give much thought to a kid - and with no pressure to have anything to do with a kid, it’s rare a crow would be remotely involved in the life of their child. Despite this, any concerns about birth control go out the window, since each child born in the brothel is one more potential crow or prostitute. On top of that, most of the Antivan Crow-run brothels have enough prostitutes that having a few here and there not quite able to work isn’t a big deal to the Antivan Crows’ profits. Granted, the women can’t stay out of work too long because if they run out of money to pay their rent, they’re on the streets or dead. So, working as long as you’re able to get jons and getting back as soon as humanly possible would be integral for a prostitute to keep their home and job. 

Now, some women might keep their children a little longer, but the ability to do this is directly impacted by how ‘important’ a prostitute is. And by ‘keep their child’ I mean they keep them in their room to sleep and involve themselves in their lives while they can.

The child of a very high-ranking crow or prostitute might be afforded some smaller comforts the others would be denied. Oh, they’d still be either Crows or prostitutes, but they might have lighter duties or private lessons to give them a boost in their chances of being able to make a life for themselves. There most likely are families (and I use that term loosely) that have been in the Antivan Crows for generations - but at the end of the day, what matters is that the nest is running smoothly and everyone is making money for the organization.

But honestly, I would say that there might be a handful of kids who have ever actually gotten out of the Antivan Crows without being a crow. But for most? There are two choice - three if you count dying, which I will talk about…

The Pipeline: The Crow Path

I mentioned before that I feel like the Antivan Crows would keep all their people in a few general areas, both as a way to keep control as well as monitor certain things. So some sort of staff will be needed.

So, there are two roles that a kid might go - go into crow training or work as staff.

Boys will all go into crow raining. No ifs, ands, or buts. Girl crows are less common but do exist. So if a girl has a temperament and resilience that might have a chance? She gets tossed in with all the others.

Recruits live a life of difficult training, torture (you know, so they can learn to resist it), cutthroat competition, and being subjected to the wills of the older crows - which opens the doors for all sorts of additional abuses. Generally, a recruit can expect a beating if they break a rule, cause problems, or irritate someone enough. Depending on what the issue is and the mood of whoever is doing the beating, it might be getting whacked with a stick once or twice, or all the way up to having a few people wail on you for a while. Denying food and sleep might also be used, as well as isolation in a very damp and chilly room.

 And absolutely, positively, don’t you dare fucking cry. Even the kitchen girls are held to this - crying is weak, and crying gets you beat.

The Pipeline: The Staff Path

Girls begin their work in the kitchens. Now, the life of a kitchen girl seems like a pretty sweet deal at first. Yes, they work hard in the kitchens, but outside of those duties, they have free time.  They also have a degree of respect from the crows - after all, they do have control over the food, and if you want a certain food you need to be on the good side of the kitchen girls.

And you get on their bad side? They might purposively make things you hate, or it’s bad enough, you just might get a plate of overly poisoned food.

Now, all the food has mild amounts of different types of poisons and toxins so the crows can build up immunities.  It’s not enough to kill anyone, but you can imagine the new recruits having a really bad time for the first few weeks. So all it takes is a mild slip and suddenly - oops! You’re either dead or going to spend a while wishing you were dead.

And many of the girls form tight friendships in the kitchens - something denied to crows and the recruits (never know who might stab you in the back). The kitchen girls are also in charge of what goes into the kitchens. They’re sent out to markets to sample what is being sold and decide which vendors to buy from. There’s a crow somewhere nearby keeping tabs on them, both to keep them out of trouble and keep trouble away from them. And one of the kitchen girls is easy to spot - there's a very specific shade of blue that is only made for the Antivan Crows (or else). Girls have two aprons - one that is used in the kitchen and one that is used for going out into the world. And when people see those signature blue aprons - it’s obvious who they are.

So, you’re thinking to yourself - why Lacy, why would they treat these girls so well? Why would the profits-over-everything Antivan Crows spend money on resources on a group that isn’t making them money?

Well, I’ll start off by saying that these little outings of the kitchen girls are not just to let them have a fun day in the market - it’s advertising. Because once that girl reaches a certain age -  I’m sure it varies depending on the nest - they go to work upstairs. AKA, the brothel. 

So all those outings? Picking the prettiest of the kitchen girls to go out where they will be seen? You show off the goods - one day, you’ll be able to purchase one of those girls by the hour.

While some intermingling between the recruits and the staff is inevitable, it’s discouraged. And the girls are definitely discouraged from being sexually involved with anyone. There isn’t a punishment if they do, but they will miss out on a massive boost in money. We all know that there's plenty of people out there who have a weird obsession with deflowering girls. So if a girl has abstained, their first job is auctioned off to the highest bidder. A girl can make good money from that. And unlike kitchen girls, prostitutes have to pay rent to the Antivan Crows - which is taken out of anything they make. As they get older, they get less and less support. If they don’t make enough money, they go back to staff, specifically cleaning. Cleaners don’t have anything near the life they once had as kitchen girls, since they’ve already been used up.  So for the most part, they’re ignored by the rest of the nest (if they’re even seen) and live in bare-bones housing.

But there is one particually chilling danger a kitchen girl faces. 

Every so often.

Maybe once or twice on a bad year.

A particularly pretty kitchen girl might simply disappear.

Their friends might be sad, but there would be no time for all that - there’s kitchen work to do. Everyone knows, nobody talks about it, and it’s accepted as just Something That Just Happens Sometimes.

Sex, fine - love, no.

So it seems a common trend that love is forbidden in the Antivan Crows.  It’s a distraction and a weakness that can be exploited.  So it’s a major, no-go. Sex? They don’t care; have as much sex as you want. Now, this no-love clause goes for crows and prostitutes, but also for recruits and kitchen girls. After all, a bunch of them are probably teenagers and there’s not much use in trying to stop something that’s just going to happen.

So a decision must be made. If one is a crow and the other not, the crow is made to kill the person they love, or they both die. If it’s two crows, then they either pick the more promising crow to do the killing, or if they’re pretty equal they just leave them in a room with a knife and see who comes out. This, in turn, makes something very clear to the remaining member. This especially hits older recruits and younger crows who might not have the foresight to think about the long-term effects of a romantic affair.

Templars, Watch Yourselves.

Mages are great for the Antivan Crows - people who are their own weapons or can patch up their assassins are invaluable. So, the nest will offer those mages protection in exchange for using their magic in some way to make money for the nest. 

For the most part, the templars and the Antivan Crows don’t bother each other, so long as the nests aren’t flagrant about it. 

Now, this is where headcanon ends and my own fic begins, but I’ll tell you about a little thing that I decided went down. 

Templars got sick of perfectly good mages escaping and getting to be safe with a criminal network, so they decided to make an example of a smaller house in Salla. They hired the Antivan Crows through a particularly devout and rich noble, tasking them with quashing a nonexistent rebellion.  Once most of the crows in the nest were halfway across Antiva, the templars made their move. They overtook the nest, and snatched as many mage kids and adults as they could, killing the ones they couldn’t take alive.

Then, to let the Antivan Crows know just how naughty they were by defying the templars for so long - they barred the exits and burned it to the ground. You could count the number of survivors who weren’t taken by the templars on one hand.

The Antivan Crows respond with coordinated attacks on the Antivan templar order. Templars might have some diet-magic and armor and specific training, but the Antivan Crows massively outnumber them - and they’re trained to kill. Not to defend or control or subdue, but to kill.

In other words, the Antian Crows brought the templars to their kness. 

From that point on, the templars leave the crows the hell alone.

Happiness in a Nest

But, it’s not all doom and gloom. As with every situation, people make the best of what they’re given. Whether they admit it or not, most crows have some fair-weather friends and a few might even have friends they trust. Children in the nest find ways to have fun and even play. Older kids find ways to sneak out for a night of fun and bad decisions. When the workday is over, prostitutes socialize and play cards over glasses of wine. 

Good memories are made, even in a nest.

In conclusion.

Life with the Antivan Crows is just like living under the crushing weight of modern capitalism - it only benefits the upper echelon and anyone that can’t make money is deemed useless and cast aside.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Leave a comment/reblog or message me with any questions or share your own headcanons! I look forward to hearing from y'all!