#young/an impulsive teen but he's a grown man !! he can/should be able to make his own decisions if he's going to continue being a firefigh

[festivegrant]

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[the-tiniest-one]

Parenting Rock Lee with Might Guy :)

Note:@xemaliahrssx here ya go! I hope it tastes just like you dreamed it would!

Sitting at the kitchen table, watching Guy and Lee devour the dinner you made, had you feeling nostalgic... You watched with your head rested on your hand. It was the little family moments that you appreciated more than anything else these days. "Yeah! and then I caught him in a cross block!" Lee said, describing their latest mission, his mouth full of food.

"Haha yes yes (y/n) you should have been there, our Rock Lee is becoming a real force to be reckoned with, much like his handsome sensei" Guy said with a wink in your direction.

"Handsome indeed" you said with a grin.

Thinking back to the days when you were a little more of a workaholic made you laugh. If you told your younger-self all those years ago that you would be Konoha's worst helicopter parent in just a few years, you'd have never believed it. Guy was a perfect match for you in that regard. You two were a well oiled machine when it came to parenting.

While Lee could do no wrong in your eyes, Guy was a bit heavy handed in his discipline of Lee's skills as a shinobi. You kissed every bruise and scrape, while Guy was teaching him how to prevent them in the first place.

Rock Lee has had more than his fair share of the short-end-of-the- shit-stick his entire life. BUT One could be forgiven for not recognizing the true level of hardship the boy has overcome in his short tenure as a shinobi. Lee is a true underdog.

Lucky for him, you've always been a bit of a sucker for an underdog.

You thought back to those early days......

Even before Lee evolved to a mini version of your childhood crush, you felt the need to protect him. Watching him fumble and practice jutsu in vain day after day.....early in the morning and into the night. You would watch him from a distance while training your own team. One early morning, you decided to check in on the boy with long black hair. He kicked at a post, counting off as you looked on...10....11.....12.....his kicks were weak even for his young age. As he got closer to 50 he fell back, overwhelmed by the pain of repetitively beating his shins into the wood without chakra to safeguard his bones.

Clearly angry at his situation, the thought occurred to you that maybe he wasn't using chakra because he couldn't....the boy had tears streaming from his eyes. It broke your heart to watch a kid who couldn't be more than 10, cursing his life.

"A kid working that hard shouldn't have to feel that defeated..." you said to yourself.

You felt conflicted. Torn between wanting to step in and takeover his training...but feeling the weight of responsibility that would come with encouraging a child to chase a pipedream that would only lead to disappointment. You knew all too well what happens to weak ninja. The reality was that it would be cruel to encourage the boy to peruse a life as dangerous as that of a shinobi. You were no slouch when it came to taijutsu but ninjas are able to compete with one another because of the advantages that come with developing kakai genki.

Could a boy with no use of chakra stand a chance against the generations of those families of ninja who use fearsome jutsu and tactics like lightning...wind....wood or even hereditary gifts like the dreaded sharingan or byakugen? The real answer was sad and harsh. No. He couldn't.

You wouldn't be so irresponsible as to tell the boy he could be anything but a failure.

If he perused that path, he would die young.

So you stood back, restraining the desire to comfort and nurture the little boy out of what you told yourself was mercy. Day after day, week after week....you watched on....until it became too much. You couldn't sleep anymore, couldn't function on missions the same way. Always thinking back to him still out at those training grounds.....always struggling.

....

One morning it was pouring rain. You called off training that day for your team and headed out to the place you knew he would be. He was there of course. He was doing his best to catch a cold while practicing hand signs to no avail. After watching him for a few minutes you finally asked, "What's your name kid?" speaking loud to project over the rain. Startled he looked up to where you stood, perched on a post a few feat away. "I...Im Rock Lee" he said timidly. You laughed at his shy but sweet face, "Im y/n" you said.

"Your kicks look like they could use some work", holding your palm about chest high, to show him where his blow should be landing. The boy grimaced...clearly angry with his lack of direction in training. You laughed and the both of you worked on his kicks for the duration of the morning.

"I think you'll be a splendid ninja someday" you said as you offered him a bit of lunch you packed. The boy looked up at you with the most heartbreaking fear in his eyes, "I can't use chakra" Lee said barley above a whisper, clearly ashamed to tell you the truth.

You ruffled his hair. "Look kid, life is shitty sometimes. But I can tell you are someone who will never quit. No matter the odds, and that is something worth more than all the talent in the world." He instantly smiled up at you, melting your heart for what would be the first of a million times. Laughing and showing you also first time you saw that shiny smile that you would come to love more that anything on earth.

From then on he was your responsibility. Your chest burned with pride in his concrete determination. Feeling instantly the protective burn and feral instinct to insulate him from anything that would hurt him.

....

It was about a year later when things evolved. You and Lee had become close. He, being an orphan as you found out he was, had taken your invitation to live in your spare bedroom. It wasn't long before you were nagging him to be sure and eat breakfast before class, take baths every night. You were often hearing your mothers voice echo in your own as you guided the child to a structure he lacked.

You even went to his parent meetings at the Academy, much to the surprise of Iruka (because he himself was 2 years older than you and had known you since you were smol) laughed when you asked to see Lee's reports.

----

Then one hot summer day you got the order... your team was dispatched on your first extended mission with your new genin. 3 months on a C rank mission to Suna. Your heart sank as you remembered Lee's graduation exam was in just a few days. Before you left, you kissed his forehead and promised a tearful Lee who had become just as attached as you over the last year, that would bring him back a graduation present.

You just knew he would finally pass.

....

Returning to the village near midnight you couldn't wait to see Lee. After giving report to Lord Third, you quickly made your way home. Quietly cracking the door to his bedroom, you peaked in to see his sweet little face. The snoring boy looked peaceful.

"He cut his hair?" you thought puzzled..."he must have done it himself, it looks a little odd." You laughed at the thought of him using a bowl to cut his hair.

Then your eyes traveled to the headband still around his forehead, "He passed!!!" you quietly celebrated, careful not to wake him up. You placed the promised gift on his dresser, a brand-new set of num-chuks you'd had made in Suna.

The next morning you were up before sunrise making a celebratory breakfast when an extreme round of knocking came from the apartment's front door.

You quickly answered, immediately flustered when on the other side was none other than Might Guy....the same Guy you'd had the hots for over a decade.

"Y/N!, I must have the wrong address! I was looking for one of my students!" Guy said in his familiar boisterous cadence. Laughing nervously you started to respond, when behind you Lee pushed his way through the doorframe. Your eyes widened at the sight.

The haircut made sense now, Lee stood side by side with his sensei. He was wearing Guy's jumpsuit... they could have been father and son.

Looking at the two of them standing side by side in front of you for the first time gave you the most jarring sense of dejavu.

"Guy sensei! Look what Y/N brought me from her most dangerous mission!" Lee brandished the weapon, beaming up at his teacher who laughed and winked in your direction. "Ah, a great choice! Only the most skilled ninja know how to use such a fine weapon! We must enlighten you at once Lee my boy!" With that the handsome jonin and your sweet Rock Lee were off to train.

You had known Guy since he was still struggling to gain entrance to the Academy, you knew that the man who radiated confidence today, only earned that ability through blood, sweat, and tears.

You apprehensively accepted that Might Guy was a good match to be Lee's sensei.

"Be careful!" you called, more than a little apprehensive at the thought of your sweet baby boy training with such an admittedly impulsive man. Feeling a small tug of sadness as you watched the two of them disappear down the street.

"Lee's getting tall..." you though as you closed the door.

....

Over the next few years Lee had grown into a strong young man. You felt such extreme pride in everything he did. Even though you being in your mid-twenties were not nearly old enough to be Lee's mother, he had taken to occasionally calling you mom.

Lee was never embarrassed of you as he grew into a teen like some of the other kids his age. He was always just as willing to give you a hug before a mission as the day you met him.

It would be a lie to say that the relationship you and Guy shared hadn't also matured along the way. Although you weren't Lee's biological parents, anyone would be forgiven for thinking that you were. Everything you had admired about Guy, his hot-bloodedness, his devotion to youthful perseverance, his love of his village had been passed down to your surrogate son.

It was only natural that you and Guy would become a team in raising Rock Lee. Over time after a few years of dinners, training sessions, birthdays, holidays etc...Guy decided to propose to you.

It was a literal dream come true. You couldn't say yes fast enough. But as required when two shinobi become married, when you went to sign the paperwork to make your marriage official, requesting a stamp of approval from Lady Tsunade....she extended to you a folder with a second set of forms.

Guy beamed as you read the contents. Adoption papers with Lee's name printed at the top in bold.

"He will always be our son. Since we are making it official... why not add one more?" Guy said with a laugh. The tears began welling in your eyes. "He's 17" you laughed, "I love you" is all you could think to say in response to the most kind gesture you have ever witnessed.

Guy held his trademark thumbs up high as he replied, "Lee will always need his mom, no matter how big he gets!" His words like music to your heart...

You'd never felt so complete as you walked hand in hand with Guy, on your way home to surprise your sweet son with the news.

Upon telling Lee what the two of you had done, he looked from the papers back to you. Confusion spread across the sweet ravenette's features. "But I do not understand" Lee said with a hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Have you not always been my mom?"

The innocent look in his eye and profound sincerity in his voice made tears well in your eyes for what felt like the tenth time that day. You laughed and swept he and Guy into a hug that didn't last long enough. "What's for dinner?" the two men asked in unison and in that moment you knew you were the luckiest person in the world.

[joeygoeshollywood]

My 25 Favorite Films of 2020

Well, this was quite the crazy year, especially for movies. While many films that were slated to be released this year were postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic, this year still provided some laughs, tears, and thrills both in theaters and in the living room. 

(NOTE: Due to the delayed awards season calendar and postponed Oscar bait films that are unavailable to be seen before the end of 2020, this list will eventually be updated after having seen the following films: The Father, Minari, News of the World, Nomadland, One Night in Miami, Pieces of a Woman, Promising Young Woman)

Here are my 25 favorite films of the year:

25. Kajillionaire 

Quirky filmmaker Miranda July is back with her first feature in nearly a decade. Kajillionaire is a bizarre but captivating tale about a family of criminal grifters and how the daughter reevaluates her strained relationship with her parents after an outsider is welcomed into the fold. Evan Rachel Wood takes what could have easily been dismissed as a goofy caricature in Old Dolio (yes, that’s her name) and turns into a heartfelt portrayal of a woman whose lifestyle of freeloading dictated by her parents (played by Debra Winger and Richard Jenkins) becomes her own crisis. In many ways, Kajillionaire feels like a fantasy that keeps people asking, “What on earth is going on?” And this time, it’s for the best. 

24. Freaky

Revamping decades-old plots like the body-swapping antics from Freaky Friday can either result in a predictable failure or a surprising success. Thankfully, Freaky falls into the latter category. In this horror comedy, a deranged serial killer (played by Vince Vaughn) swaps bodies with his victim, a timid teen girl (played by Kathryn Newton). What makes the film work though are the dedicated lead performances, particularly by Vaughn, who is pretty convincing as young girl trapped in a grown man’s body. With a few good laughs and decent thrills, Freaky is worth the watch. 

23. The Outpost

The Outpost is an intense film about the real-life story of small group of US troops isolated by surrounding mountains in Afghanistan, under the constant threat of the Taliban, which ultimately comes to a head in the Battle of Kamdesh. The film captures the harrowing experiences of these soldiers with heart-pounding action sequences, which are fueled by a solid cast including Scott Eastwood, Caleb Landry Jones, and Orlando Bloom. 

22. Uncle Frank

Paul Bettany may be best known for playing The Vision in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but he should be celebrated as his title character in Uncle Frank, a touching dramedy set in 1973 about an NYU professor who returns home to his estranged family for his father’s funeral while his niece, played by rising star Sophia Lillis, idolizes him for teaching her to be her authentic self while he keeps his sexuality a secret. Bettany brilliantly balances the coolness of his stature with the internal agony that ultimately hits a boiling point, which is counterbalanced by Peter Macdissi’s fun performance as Frank’s happy-go-lucky lover who accompanies him back home despite his wishes. 

21. Hillbilly Elegy

Hillbilly Elegy was panned by critics over politics that had absolutely no role the film. Based on the best-selling memoir by J.D. Vance, the newest feature from Ron Howard shows the journey of a boy who despite all odds growing up in a poor family that constantly struggled with abuse and addition managed to get into Yale Law School and achieve the American dream. While both Gabriel Basso and Owen Asztalos hold the film together as the younger and older Vance in the present and flashback scenes, Amy Adams as the impulsive, irresponsible mother and an unrecognizable Glenn Close as the no-nonsense inspiring grandmother that turn Hillbilly Elegy into an acting tour de force. 

20. The Trial of the Chicago 7

Oscar-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin sits in the director’s chair once again in this courtroom drama about the real-life protesters who showed up in Chicago during the 1968 Democratic National Convention. With themes that resonate today, The Trial of the Chicago 7 benefits from its sharp screenplay, well-paced editing, and an outstanding ensemble cast that includes Eddie Redmayne, Mark Rylance, Yahoo Abdul-Mateen II, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jeremy Strong, Frank Langella, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Michael Keaton. 

19. Yellow Rose

Broadway actress Eva Noblezada makes her film debut as an aspiring country singer on the run after her mother, an illegal immigrant, is obtained for deportation. Yellow Rose presents a nuanced depiction of US immigration, but at the heart of it is a heartbreaking story of a young woman who struggles between putting her family or her dreams first. Between Noblezada’s powerful performance and solid original music, Yellow Rose hits all the right chords. 

18. Palm Springs

Move over, Groundhog Day. While the Bill Murray classic has largely monopolized the time loop film genre, Palm Springs gives it a run for its money. Andy Sandberg and Cristin Milioti star as the unlikely duo who are stranded reliving the same dreaded wedding day involving mutual acquaintances and their desperate efforts to escape the seemingly inescapable. The Hulu comedy stands on its own two feet for the good laughs, the chemistry between the two leads, and the film’s emotionally-grounded plot.  

17. Let Him Go

Kevin Costner and Diane Lane reunite on the big screen after playing farmer parents in Man of Steel to rancher grandparents in Let Him Go, although this time they are able to display their full acting chops. In this period dramatic thriller, they set out to find their only grandchild following the death of their son only to discover that the widowed daughter-in-law remarried into an infamous crime family. While both Costner and Lane tug at the heartstrings, it’s Lesley Manville, who plays the ruthless matriarch of the family, that really takes command of the screen. Ultimately, Let Him Go is all about family and the lengths one is willing to go to protect it. 

16. Unhinged

In a year plagued by the pandemic, Unhinged led the way to the revival of movie theaters back in August and perhaps in some ways it was meant to be the film to do so as the themes of a rage-fueled society and the lack of human connection carry weight. Russell Crowe stars, as the title suggests, as an unhinged psychopath whose road rage torments a woman and her adolescent son. Unhinged is the epitome of pure entertainment and is why we go to the movies. While it’s not quite the most sophisticated thriller of the year, it’s still one helluva ride. 

15. Emma

Anya Taylor-Joy has had quite the year with both highs (The Queen’s Gambit) and lows (The New Mutants). But it began before the pandemic with the release of Emma, which she stars as the iconic Jane Austen title character, a socialite who meddles in the love life of others while refusing to acknowledge her own shortcomings in that department. Supported with a strong ensemble cast, beautiful production design, and comedic charm, Emma is not to be missed. 

14. The Invisible Man

ln the era of remakes and reboots, very few are as good as Universal’s latest monster flick revival of The Invisible Man. Elisabeth Moss stars as a woman who believes she’s being haunted by her abusive ex-husband, someone she becomes convinced faked his own death and is stalking her without being able to be seen. Filmmaker Leigh Whannell, the writer behind the Saw and Insidious horror franchises, generates good thrills and high-wire tension with the help of high production value and a terrifyingly-good performance from Moss. 

13. Dick Johnson is Dead

Documentarian Kirsten Johnson filmed a beautiful, intimate tribute to her father Dick Johnson, who has been suffering from Alzheimer's in the final years of his life. However, instead of dreading his death, both daughter and father embrace it by having him acting out several scenes of his over-the-top demises. Dick Johnson is Dead may focus on the subject manner of death, but this documentary actually celebrates life and the laughs that happen along the way. 

12. The Wolf of Snow Hollow

Perhaps one of the littlest-known films of the year, The Wolf of Snow Hollow is not your conventional indie comedy horror flick. Writer/director Jim Cummings stars as an overly-heated police officer who attempts to get to the bottom of a string of murders in his small, snowy Utah town by what appears to be some sort of werewolf, though he remains unconvinced. Featuring one of the final performances from veteran actor Robert Forster, The Wolf of Snow Hollow uses its quirky sense of humor to stand out from the rest of the pack. 

11. The Gentlemen 

The Gentlemen is a fun, action-packed, crime caper from Guy Ritchie about the London turf war of drug kingpins. Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Henry Goulding, Michelle Dockery, and Colin Ferrell all round out the strong cast, but its Hugh Grant that really steals the show as the comedically manipulative Fletcher, whose only allegiance is to himself. If you like a stylish film with well-choreographed violence and a fast-paced plot, The Gentlemen should be your cup of tea.  

10. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Some of the best play-to-film adaptations are the films that feel like you’re watching a play, and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom is one of them. Produced by Denzel Washington, Viola Davis gives a transformative performance as Ma Rainey, known as the “mother of the blues” and the clash she had with a pair of White music producers, but she also butts heads with her trumpet player (played by the late Chadwick Boseman), who also has his own music ambitions. While Davis obviously gives other Oscar-worthy performance, it was Boseman who was able to show how incredibly gifted he was as an actor. And while the world lost him far too soon, at least his last role ended up being his greatest. 

9. The Kid Detective

One of the biggest surprises of the year was how good a movie starring and produced by Adam Brody was. Brody plays a washed up former kid detective who attempts to revive his once-celebrated career of solving mysteries by getting to the bottom of a murder in his hometown. The Kid Detective is a brilliant dark comedy from newcomer writer/director Evan Morgan with good laughs, plenty of plot twists, and a career-best performance from Brody, who proves he’s more than just the pretty face from The O.C. we all know him as. 

8. Mank

Citizen Kane is widely regarded as one of the greatest films ever made and Mank is a worthy tribute. Gary Oldman stars as the title character Herman “Mank” Mankiewicz, the Oscar-winning screenwriter behind the iconic film. David Fincher (The Social Network, Gone Girl) managed to capture the epic scale of the 1941 classic that would make Orson Welles proud. 

7. Soul

Soul is one of those rare existential Pixar films that goes beyond being children’s entertainment. Following in the footsteps of 2015′s Inside Out, Soul depicts what happens to the soul of a jazz musician who’s convinced his time on Earth isn’t over. While the universe created to explain how souls work and the plot that went along with it falls short of its emotions predecessor, Soul is still high-caliber among Pixar films and a great movie for both kids and adults alike. 

6. Another Round

Perhaps the greatest work from Swedish director Thomas Vinterberg to date, Another Round follows four unsatisfied middle aged men who decide to take a theory of task from a Norwegian psychiatrist, who concluded that maintaining a blood alcohol level of 0.050 will enhance their mental and psychological state. Mads Mikkelsen, who’s best known to American audiences as Hannibal Lecter in the short-lived NBC series Hannibal and the Bond villain in Casino Royale, offers a strong, nuanced performance as one of the four educators who embraces this drinking challenge in a film that provides an equal balance of chuckles, cringes, and emotional gut punches. 

5. I’m Thinking of Ending Things

From the crazy mastermind of Charlie Kaufman, the writer behind Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Anomalisa, his latest on Netflix is too a mind-bender. I’m Thinking of Ending Things is a surreal, zany, and at times disturbing examination of the human condition as the nameless female protagonist played by an incredible Jessie Buckley mulls over breaking up with her boyfriend (played by Jesse Plemons) while visiting his parents’ house. Accompanied with a stellar production design and a crazy-good performance from Toni Collette as “Mother,” Kaufman newest cerebral feature lives up to his iconic reputation of filmmaking. 

4. Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee is one of the few genius filmmakers who is able to blend multiple genres together and his latest film is no different. Da 5 Bloods is an action adventure, buddy comedy, dramatic character study, and war movie all wrapped up into one about a group of Vietnam War veterans who return to the former battlegrounds to find the remains of one of their fallen soldiers as well as some treasure that they kept hidden years ago. With a strong ensemble cast that includes the late Chadwick Boseman, its longtime character actor Delroy Lindo who steals the show with his powerful performance. Da 5 Bloods is easily one of Netflix’s strongest films to date. 

3. The Assistant

One of the first #MeToo-era films, The Assistant offers the day in the life of a low-level female staffer of a production company who is haunted by the presence of her Harvey Weinstein-like boss (who never actually appears in the film). However, rather than depicting the dramatics of sexual misconduct, The Assistant uses the common subtleties and nuances of the workplace yet maintains the same tension and heartbreak. Anchored by the remarkable, devastating performance by up-and-comer Julia Garner (Ozark), The Assistant is as important as it is well-done. 

2. Sound of Metal

Riz Ahmed gives the performance of his career as a heavy metal drummer and former addict whose sudden battle with going deaf upends his life. Sound of Metal is an incredible experience that gives a rare glimpse in the American deaf community which is enhanced by the remarkable sound design that helps the audience actually hear what the musician is going through. It’s truly one of the most rewarding films of the year. 

1. The Climb

The Climb takes the generic “man sleeps with his best friend’s fiancé” storyline and turns it on its head. In his feature debut as writer and director, Michael Angelo Covino leads as the not-so-apologetic adulterer Mike and Kyle Marvin, who co-wrote the film, is the good-hearted Kyle who struggles to whether or not to forgive his best friend’s ultimately betrayal. Not only is The Climb is quirky and hilariously written, it’s a remarkably well-made comedy with some of the year’s best cinematography. Between a strong cast, a superb screenplay, and the extremely-high production value, The Climb is at the top of the mountain of 2020′s best films. 

[sooblvr]

dreaming of you

pairing choi soobin x gn!reader // genre fantasy au, fluff // warnings none // word count 1.6k

after yet another sleepless night, you turned off the alarm. tall, dark hair, a gentle expression and an awkward laugh. you knew his deepest secrets and comforted his sobs, yet he remained nameless.

the, literal, boy of your dreams visited you every once in a while since you were less than fifteen years old. he was no more than a couple years older than you and had somewhat grown together.

from imaginary friend to mystery man, it was hard to describe your relationship.

“i saw him again,” you began, “but it was different.”

yerin, who you had known for just over a year, listened attentively. enthusiastic and lively, she made a love story out of your odd situation. “did you get his name this time?” “he was crying. we were, i don’t even know where. it looked like a bedroom, could’ve been his.” “and what was he crying about? he does that quite often.”

you evaded talking about his personal problems. he confided in you, and even though you didn’t even know if he was even a real person, it didn’t feel right to spread his business. “his friends leave him out. he’s very sensitive, and they make him feel like the odd one out. plan things without him, constantly interrupt him, stuff like that that builds up over time.”

“if only you guys could meet,” she sighed dramatically, “you should ask him if he lives in seoul. for all you know he’s in the class next door. get his name too, full name, so we can look him up on social media or something.”

night after night you hoped to see him, but your meetings were sporadic and random. sometimes you were at an amusement park, others in a classroom. around your early teens you began keeping a journal. every dream you could remember from the first to the most recent was written. some dates as specific as ‘04/26/2012’ and others as vague as ‘spring of 2019.’

your most memorable one had a bookmark. he visited you the night before your birthday.

“your present is on my nightstand, but i’m afraid i wasn’t able to bring it with me.” “so you can control when you see me?” “well, no, but i had a feeling i would see you tonight. you’ll be eighteen by the time you wake up.”

both of you stood outside an elementary school. you sat on the swings and bet on who would go the highest. it was strange that no one had complained about your loud laughs and stubborn bickering. having known each other for so long, it always felt weird to ask anything remotely personal. it was like you were ashamed- if you were as close as you acted, shouldn’t you know this already?

“did you actually buy me a present?” “i was hoping i’d show up with it since, you know, our situation is weird enough to where i wouldn’t be surprised if i could bring stuff from my regular life.” “i guess that’s valid. what did you get me?” “remember the time we were at the museum? you liked one of the mood rings.” “go on.” “i found a similar one, and i got it for you.”

his birthdays tended to go by unnoticed. when you asked how he had spent his special day his voice got quiet, murmuring that he didn’t want to talk about it. as much as you wanted to know more about him, you were uncertain of his impression of you.

would he find it creepy if you asked where he lived? what he did in his regular life? did he have a job? was he studying? you figured he had to at least live in the same city as you. all your dreams took place at local places.

your questions were answered on none other than his birthday, which he spent in the tutoring center at your school. he sat by himself, and you saw him from afar. it would’ve been weird for you to just go up to him as if you were best friends. perhaps it was weirder to act as if you were total strangers. he returned his books to the front desk while you signed in.

he smiled at you with his characteristic softness, though you weren’t sure if he had recognized you. acting on an impulse, you caught up to him before he left, “happy birthday.”

there was the slightest blush adorning his cheeks. he laughed nervously, and you felt a sense of comfort from his familiarity. “thank you. i’ll tell you about my day later,” he was gone in less time than it had taken him to respond. and just like every other night, you hoped you would see him again.

“yerin, you don’t understand. he’s much cuter in person!” “i knew you liked him. i haven’t known you for long, but you’ve never talked about someone the way you talk about him.” “no, i couldn’t like him. we don’t even know each other-“ “yeah, yeah, that’s everyone’s excuse.” “we’ve only seen each other in our dreams, but there’s so much more to our lives than that. i act differently with you, and he probably does too. what if he’s a horrible person? what if he doesn’t want to meet me here? and if i never see him again?” “calm down with the mental cartwheels, i’m sure he’s just as great in person.”

you read through your journal, hoping that thinking about him before going to sleep would help you meet him. it didn’t. 

and even then, you wouldn’t see him through your dreams but through the campus counselors. sitting next to each other in silence felt excruciating, but you figured if he wasn’t talking it was because he didn’t want to. if only you could’ve noticed he was thinking the same thing.

as soon as you turned to each other, both hoping to make the first move, the receptionist called his name, “soobin, you’re up next.”

“soobin, no last name,” you told yerin during lunch.

“i don’t know anyone by that name, is he in our grade?” “probably not, he’s older than me.” “i could always ask around if-“ “don’t, i don’t want him to think i’m trying to stalk him or something.” “you’re never getting anywhere with this mister no last name soobin.”

it took months for you to coincide again. it was as if you had broken the biggest unspoken rule of all. though you were content with the newfound knowledge of his name, you regretted it as soon as you realized he had evaporated from your dreams too. 

“happy valentine’s day,” you were at a local park near the school’s campus. you were thankful this was a dream since the place was always incredibly full of people- mostly tourists. “it’s been so long since i’ve seen you.” he looked down, feeling guilty even though he had no control over your meetings.

before you could run out of time, you agreed to meet at the library you had met at. something about the plan felt familiar though. you looked for your dream journal when you woke up. you needed to settle your doubts.

sometime in 2012,

our first dream together was at a library, one much bigger than any of the public ones.

was that it? had your first dream shown where you would meet? you couldn’t remember exactly if the library from the dream had been the one at your university, but it was certainly odd that you remembered to make the distinction between the dream library and the public ones.

even if you were right, you didn’t know what to do with that information. did the other dreams mean anything? were they predicting the future? it didn’t make sense. you were so young in the dreams, how could they represent an adult relationship?

you brought your journal with you to school, ready to show him the coincidence.

“we’ve been to museums, gardens, cafés, even ballroom dances, and all while in our teens,” he went through every page. “do you think maybe they’re hinting at something?” “do you?”

you looked around while collecting your thoughts. both of you were clueless. until he recalled, “you know, i always found it odd that we never asked anything personal. we knew each other in our dreams. in every one except for the first.” “right. for some reason we also never questioned where we were. maybe we already knew.” “except for the library.” “because that’s where we were supposed to meet.”

the more you kept seeing each other, the more you kept finding similarities to your dreams. it was never intentional, but there’d be instances like sitting at the same table, the music playing being the same, or even the date being the same except for the year.

“do you remember this place?” “have we dreamed about it?” “the only dream where we didn’t really do much, we didn’t even talk.” “you kept saying there was something you wanted to say but you never did.” “i knew i wanted to say something, i just didn’t know what.”

he handed you a piece of paper. it was an ad for the place, “this was outside my door this morning.” “and do you know what you want to say now?” “i like you.”

[crossdressingdeath]

The thing that kills me with all those "JC doesn't mean it! It's just that he can't communicate with people he cares about!" arguments is that... LWJ did that too. As a teen he didn't know how to express his emotions and called WWX boring a bunch and generally acted annoyed with him, but HE CHANGED THAT. Because he realized that it hurt him. But JC changed NOTHING in DECADES of story time because he meets absolutely nobody halfway, and his stans apparentely don't get that it's a bad thing

Yes! LWJ realises after WWX’s death that not being able to communicate his wishes and feelings hurt people he cares about, so he tries to improve on that; he doesn’t do a perfect job, but he’s improved enough that he does make it clear to WWX that no, he does not hate him and in fact wants to help him. Meanwhile... if JC really didn’t mean the things he said he should’ve been horrified at what his words led to. I mean, him declaring WWX a traitor was pretty much the biggest factor in WWX’s destruction, not counting the various accidental murders. The biggest factor that was a deliberate decision on the part of the person who did it, let’s say. Do not try to tell me it was something he said on impulse, he tells literally everyone that WWX is a traitor and he’s a grown man and sect leader, either that was a deliberate choice or he should not be allowed anywhere near any position of power. Not to mention that it for sure played a major part in setting up the situations that ended in people dying. But he clearly isn’t horrified; he actively takes credit for WWX’s death and uses that to improve his reputation! And he doesn’t stop saying horrible things having realised how badly that can fuck over the people around him, in fact if anything he gets worse; telling a fucking teenager to beat an enemy that no one knows anything about and JC himself wouldn’t stand a chance against at that age (and quite possibly even as a grown man) by himself and that if he can’t do this pretty much impossible feat he can never come home, anyone? 

And of course, at the end of the day... JC isn’t a child. He’s a grown-ass man in his mid-thirties during the present day arc, and even in the first flashback arc he’s fifteen, which is in fact old enough to know how to be a halfway decent person. I swear, JC stans talk about him like he’s an infant who hasn’t learned what basic human decency is yet! He shows less awareness of the fact that other people’s feelings matter than fucking A-Yuan does! There is a difference between “fucking up a lot of social situations because you’re bad at people” and “being so actively cruel that you may as well be playing an RPG and be picking all the mean options just to see what happens for all the consideration you’re showing other people”, and shit like threatening to break a child’s legs or kick him out of his home for not being what you want him to be or attacking your brother with his literal worst fear because you’re mad at him for him not being cool with genocide (and your sister dying to prevent the exact thing you did immediately after she died to prevent it) falls very firmly in the latter category. Like... “he doesn’t know how to communicate with people” works for someone like JL, who’s cruel because he’s young and hasn’t had any friends before and was never taught how to deal with peers (and learns better when he does start making friends and regularly interacting with peers who aren’t massive dicks), or for someone like LWJ, who’s stiff and distant because he’s never been close to anyone outside his family (more specifically his brother who learned how to read him (good) and never actually helped him learn how to interact with other people and make friends (less good)) and never had any friends his own age before WWX showed up (and again learns better when his lack of social skills has serious consequences and he realises that he has to get better at communicating to avoid hurting anyone else). JC spent his childhood surrounded by people his own age, his social peers in the wider cultivation world and his shidis (shidi? I just realised I don’t actually know what the plural is) within his own sect, and that’s without considering that his closest companion was WWX, who is so damn good at people that he’s the fourth most eligible bachelor in the sects despite having zero actual rank when everyone else we know of on that list is either in line to run a sect or already running a sect. There is no excuse for JC to be as downright cruel as he is; he’s no more sheltered than the rest of his (infinitely kinder) peers, his siblings (the people he spends pretty much all his time with) are both kind and friendly people, he’s constantly surrounded by people his own age who he interacts with all the time... The only negative example he has in his life is YZY. One person among everyone in his life teaching him cruelty with his beloved sister who he adores pretty much above all others showing the opposite and his father for sure teaching him fucking diplomacy because that’s his job, and he goes for cruelty every time. Just. can we please stop acting like a grown ass man being incapable of showing basic decency to a single fucking person in his life is normal and okay and not a really good reason for everyone in his life to eventually give up on him? This world has enough of that as it is, let’s not add to it.

[phantaloon-books]

I finally read The Tyrant's Tomb and boi I loved this one so much, so here's some my opinion on it (they're not in chronological order)

warning, this is long af and sorry for cursing a bit, I can't help it

Apollo's character arc is lowkey one of the best Rick has written, I'm sorry if you don't agree, but he's gone from wanting others to solve his problems and relying on the halfbloods to intentionally avoiding others doing things for him, volunteering for the quests and saying it should be him that faces the terrible stuff so that demigods and other creatures don't suffer

something really interesting is how his perception of himself has changed, and it's almost worrying how genuinely self depreciating his inner dialogue is, because he no longer sees himself as mighty Apollo, he sees himself as worthless and useless Lester, and his narration is highkey depressing

Also, Apollo disliking and being somewhat disgusted of the god he used to be, realizing the horrible things he had done and how horrible he was and that he looked worse as the former Apollo than as Lester, regretting things he'd done, that's top tier development

(I'm sorry but I love the entire scene with the ravens, the part where he just screams "I'm sorry" it feels as if he isn't just apologizing to the ravens, but to everyone who's been affected by what he's done as a selfish god)

Reyna so openly turning down and laughing at Apollo for suggesting they be together is my favorite thing ever lmao I couldn't stop laughing, like she knew what gods can do if you turn them down (even if it was just mortal Lester) and she didn't give a damn, it was so fucking funny

people say Rick only includes diversity for the sake of including it and to gain popularity, but I still enjoy the fact that he does, because as a teacher he must have had all kinds of students of all religions, colors and sexualities, he includes diversity because he's seen diversity. anyway my point is I love that we have Lavinia, a Jewish lesbian from a Russian family, and she's not ashamed of being any of them

I'm sorry I just love Apollo so much, I've grown to respect him so much, and even if Hermes once said them gods often forget their oaths and promises, I have a feeling Apollo won't ever forget Jason's request that he never forgets what's it like to be mortal

Frank still admiring Apollo despite everything, and despite the fact that he looks like a messed up teen makes me go all uwu

Frank being portrayed as this clumsy and awkward kid but also this powerful and brave leader is my favorite thing ever because I think Frank is underrated and I dare to say that he's one of the strongest demigods we've ever met, even stronger than some of the nig three children

the whole thing about the undead army is honestly so creepy, especially when we see it from Apollo's perspective cause se him slowly succumb to the venom's effect, and that part in Tarquin's tomb where he "calls Lester to be part of his undead" was genuinely disturbing, at least to me

some books in the past have touched the part of the nature spirits not being given enough attention, but I really enjoyed how Apollo comes to realize that he only worries about demigods and gods when all lives are worth the same - mortals, halfbloods, nature spirits, gods, and even monsters

again, I love Apollo's arc, it's just AHH he's becoming so caring of life it just makes me happy

Reyna choosing herself to make herself happy is everything, and inspiring to every single woman who is told by others that they need someone to be happy, I just love it, because self love is the most important love of all

I haven't said anything about it, but man I love Meg and Apollo's friendship, they just care so much for each other, Meg who's so scared of losing her loved ones and Apollo who's so scared of not being able to be loved or to love, but they still love each other, and I'm glad it's not romantic, because yes fraternal love is also what people need, and their friendship is what they need

aurum and argentum being cute doggos rather than the steely (no pun intended) and cold dogs we met in HoO warms my heart. I don't understand why they're so cute and adorable, or maybe that's just how Apollo sees them, but they seem to act like actual dogs in this book

the fact that Reyna never confirmed nor denied being attracted to Thalia just makes me all hyped up, like we love Theyna

Apollo just gives off Eddie Brock vibes throughout the entire book and that's hilarious asf. ever since the start he's said to look like shit, feel like shit and be injured with deathly poison that will turn him to a zombie. if that isn't Venom vibes I don't know what is

I've said it once and I'll say it again, Frank Zhang is one of the strongest demigods Rick has ever introduced in a series, and him facing two immoral and godly in power emperors, burning one to death with his own life fire and injuring the other enough for Apollo to do the final kill is top tier

"If I'm going to burn, I might as well burn bright. This is for Jason." bitch actual goosebumps

We've seen countless deaths before, but something about Frank killing Caligula and Apollo killing Commodus seems so... mature I guess is the word, or well for a more mature audience. I can't describe how or why, but it feels more real, more like actual human death

I can't deal with how human Apollo seems in this book gosh I really am sorry I keep bringing this up, but I feel such warmth

the story of how Frank overcame his curse is actual BS and as much as I love Frank, it makes no sense that they spent all that time thinking of ways to keep the wood secure only for this. idk I mean id that were the case wouldn't the curse had vanished when he broke Thanatos free? he was willing to die then just like against Caligula, so why now but not then?

Don reincarnating into a laurel is peak bittersweet feeling and it actually hurt because in a camp where fauns were seen as dumb and useless, he helped Lavinia organize everything and destroy the canon things on the yachts

I'm still not over Jason's death, he really did deserve better. It makes sense, plotwise, because out of all of the huge characters from the past, Jason, Percy and Annabeth's deaths would impact others the harder, and push them to do better. And I understand that you gotta show, not even the main characters survive sometimes. Still, I'm hurt.

Thalia talking to Apollo during the funeral for the fallen campers made me actually weep. I'm not sure if it was because of Jason, or when Thalia talked about how much Artemis loves Apollo, or when Apollo "accepted" halfblood children of Zeus as his family

Also, you know who deserved better? Harpocrates, damn right he deserved better. I nearly cried when I read his death, cause he embraced it like one would an old friend in happiness. He and the Sybil deserved better. Dakota also deserved better

On the other hand, I tried so hard not to laugh at 2 am as I read Tarquin demand answers from a cat? he genuinely thought a cat would tell him where the Sybilline Books where and I couldn't handle that

This book is cruel but in a much more human way? The maiming of the pegasi wings? that's horrifying, but in such a human way, unlike what we've seen in any of the greek/roman gods series, and it's unsettling

Meg is braver than any of the other demigods were at that age (maybe excepting Nico), cause she's not embarking on a quest to retrieve an item or rescue someone or bring back their sister from the dead, she's facing her own abusive father while aiding a somewhat weak mortal in releasing the oracles and gaining godhood back. what's she getting from it all? absolutely nothing, she's gifted some seeds and she hangs out with unicorns more than other people and she's lost everything, but she's willing to lose more to help her friend. she's heroic like no one else is, because she's the first who doesn’t want anything more than being with her friend (Percy wanted whoever was taken back, Annabeth wanted to be able to be more, Nico wanted to bring back Bianca, even Bianca wanted freedom). the only other person who didn't have somewhat selfish (but kot wrong) interests while doing something heroic at a young age has been Hazel. What I mean is I love Meg and everything she does

Thalia being that chill over Jason's death bothers me so much, as if she wasn't the happiest when she found out the brother she lost 14 years ago was alive after all, and she had a part of her family back, and it was ripped from her, and Thalia is just not one to easily forget or move on from things, it's just unrealistic that she would only need a little furious session of throwing things to be okay with Jason's death as if her brother was not just taken from her all over again. it's impulsive Thalia we're talking about, who fought Percy when dealing with Annabeth going missing, it's just not her to be over his death that quickly. Sorry for Rick but I think differently

I also kinda don't like that Tyson went from being freaking General of the Cyclops, to the guy that has the Sybilline prophecies or whatever, it's important and all, but he would have been of great help during the battle and they had him waiting for help in the shrine hill like his potential went down the drain

but a thing I really loved was how different Camp Jupiter seems from Lester eyes compared from Percy's or Hazel's or Frank's perspective, it's hilarious. The other three see this place where everyone is serious and shit but Apollo just sees beyond the seriousness and it's actually refreshing, cause he's the first not to make CHB seem immature in comparison and like I said before I hated that in previous books

also Reyna laughing watered my plants, cured my depression, and made the world okay again, I just love her

all in all, this is my favorite book of ToA so far, and I'm really excited to see what's to come, and how Apollo and Meg will face Nero and Python, but more  than anything I'm looking forward to what will happen to Apollo, and whether if given the choice, he'd go back to being a selfish god or remain mortal for a while, with his newfound friends

Also I really miss Annabeth so can I please see Annabeth, I just want to see her cause she won't deal with Apollo's shit and I can't wait to see that, I miss my girl

[ko-fanatic]

To Be A Princess: The Prince To The Rescue (part one)

Rating: Teen and up

Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club, Princess Jellyfish AU (sort of)

Character(s): Kyoya Ootori, Haruhi Fujioka

Pairing(s): (Eventual) KyoHaru

Trigger Warnings: Gender dysphoria, anxiety

Summary: "Tokyo seemed to be a land full of princesses. Every time he entered some new street, beautiful girls wore their own princess dresses, smiling and radiant with joy. It was inspiring, intoxicating, and he... was jealous. Sure, boys could be princes, but... It wasn't the same. Princes weren't the ones who caught eyes with pearls, diamonds and the tulle that would float and glide as if enchanted..."

Kyoya finally meets the prince to their princess.

Little girls get told by their mothers that, when they grow up, they'll be princesses. Their hair is brushed and styled - whether it be twisted into adorable plaits or pinned into sweet up-dos. They wear the prettiest dresses, sequins and glitter shinning as they catch the light, lace embellishments that make them squeal for joy. Princess dresses may change for them over the years, but it's an introduction. It's learning that all those gems and lace and big labels will one day be all theirs.

Tokyo seemed to be a land full of princesses. Every time he entered some new street, beautiful girls wore their own princess dresses, smiling and radiant with joy. It was inspiring, intoxicating, and he... was jealous. Sure, boys could be princes, but... It wasn't the same. Princes weren't the ones who caught eyes with pearls, diamonds and the tulle that would float and glide as if enchanted.

So, in that situation, there was two things he could do. He could stew in this resentment and jealousy, becoming more bitter and angry about society's gender roles while doing nothing to challenge them. However, the better solution was to put on a wig, some makeup, and a skirt - to just have fun! If he wanted to be a princess, then he was going to; and he didn't care if anyone had an issue with it because this was who he was!

Or... That was the theory. If it really played out the way he thought it would, he wouldn't be hiding behind a light brown – almost blonde – wig and dark sunglasses, a small tremor along his shoulders when his mind would slip back into the cycle of "what if Akito finds out, what if dad finds out, this was a really bad idea..."

Because... It was. He was an Ootori, and so every decision he made had to be thought through completely, but here he was. Imagine the scandal it would cause, imagine how disappointed everyone would be...

Kyoya pressed a hand to his gloss-sticky lips, stomach flipping over and over again as his pessimistic imagination laid all the worst-case scenarios out for his viewing pleasure. He wrapped his other arm around his torso, feeling rather sick at the thought of the anger he could be met with over this. What if he was disowned? What if his own brother hated him?

No. No, Fuyumi wouldn't let them. The worst he'd get from her would be her making him into a dress-up doll, and that could actually be fun. She wouldn't let Akito do or say anything cruel... But she had no control over their father...

What was he doing, really? Acting like some sort of Okama and parading around in some stupid Lolita getup. It made him feel like a princess in his bedroom - in private - but now it just felt ridiculous. Pink lace and bows and everything a boy shouldn't be. He shouldn't be wearing this so openly, why did he even try?

He blinked hard, swallowing down the acidic bile that burned the back of his throat. He wasn't going to abandon his determination over this. He wasn't going to get upset and panic over something that wouldn't even happen. He wanted to feel happy in himself for a little while, not wanting to tear his too-small skin off his face and body. He'd felt good in himself not long ago, so he was just going to avoid overthinking.

He took a breath and held his head high as he strode down the busy streets, heals clicking and hips swaying. He was beautiful, he was worth this feeling of warm, comfortable confidence that gave him that extra bounce in his step. A little break, maybe to pet the cats in the pet shop across the street, and then his mind might actually cooperate with him. He just needed to detach himself from those pesky thoughts.

The shop had a little bell above the door, the stereotypical ring crisp and melodic, despite being somewhat drowned by barking, mewls and the other sounds of small animals. The mice, he noted, were particularly verbal despite their small size. He had to bite back a chuckle at the thought of how similar they were to his father, who might not have been particularly short, but was still out-grown by all his children. He was probably louder than the mice when the situation called for it, however.

“Good afternoon, miss,” The employee behind the counter nodded, low and quiet but still heard, and Kyoya couldn’t help but blush. His heart was fluttering in his chest at the… well, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was the polite, respectful tone such a handsome man had given him, or the confirmation that he didn’t look like a skinny, too-lanky man playing dress-up.

“Afternoon,” He nodded in return, a smile on his lips and his voice as light and airy as he could make it. It did sound strained, a bit put on, but it would hopefully just be taken as a girl trying to match her voice to her look. After all, some girls talked in third person and put on high, squeaky voices in the pursuit of sounding young and cute, so it didn’t make him stand out too much.

He should really stop overthinking this.

His heels were a little too loud on the tile floors, or perhaps he just stepped too clumsily, but he carried on despite how it made him self-conscious. Everything about his clothes, his hair, his makeup, screamed “LOOK AT ME!” when in reality he just wanted to slip by unnoticed.

A vile smell caught his nose, and he grimaced. A small, black cat mewled quietly, curled on its side, the poor thing’s crate stained with vomit. He should call over the employee, but he didn’t trust his voice to stay at a tone appropriately “feminine”. But still, if he said nothing, would the cat’s distress get noticed soon? In an hour? In five?

The small cat let out another, pained sounding noise, and Kyoya decided that he’d much rather prevent it from suffering any longer.

“Um, sir!” He called, waving over the young man, who obliged almost immediately, "The kitten there, it’s really sick."

The man wrinkled his nose at the smell, sending Kyoya what he assumed was a grateful look, scooping the small thing up in his large hands. It was almost ridged, and Kyoya could see for himself how sick it was. "I really hope it's not what I think it is..." The man muttered, and Kyoya's heartbeat quickened - he always did have a soft-spot for cats, "I can't take him to the vet without the owner's permission, but he's not here today."

"But he's really sick," Kyoya breathed, the restraint he'd cultivated slipping away, as if he'd stripped it away with the labels he always felt forced into: "Ootori" and "Boy". The man gave him a sympathetic look, patting the little cat's head. It was then that Kyoya really noticed their height difference. At just under six foot, not many Japanese men were taller than him, but the employee dwarfed him. He had a good few inches on him, at least.

Still, the situation meant that he shouldn't be focusing on trivialities like that.

"Kids," The employee sighed, "You have to watch them very closely when they're handling animals, because they don't understand. You'd think the parents would stop them, but... Well, I think the little one might've been given some chocolate... He really should go to the vet..."

Now, if Kyoya was insane and impulsive, he'd buy the kitten and take it to a vet himself. However, he wasn't allowed a pet, and Akito was allergic to cat dander. It wasn't even like he could hide it; Akito's sneezing and swollen eyes would certainly give it all away. However, the cat should be seen by a vet...

"Why don't you just buy the cat, you obviously like him," A voice intoned, which almost made Kyoya jump. He turned to see a boy at the counter, a bag of dog food by the till and his shaggy, brunette hair in his face. Ugly, but cute jumper swaddling his slender body, and those thick frames hiding his eyes; it made Kyoya almost feel bare, pushing up his sunglasses as if that would shield himself from prying eyes.

"I can't take in a cat, my brother's allergic," He sighed, running a hand through the synthetic strands of the wig, "Expenses, I can cover. But without being able to keep him at my house..."

The boy tilted his head in thought, sizing the situation up, and Kyoya just felt so embarrassed. He shouldn't be making such a fuss, it was just a cat. It wasn't like he was given any reason to care. He should just apologise for bothering them and go, forget about the damn cat.

He might've too, if it hadn't of been for the pitiful meow he gave, looking up at Kyoya with large eyes that just made him want to scoop the poor thing up. He wasn't supposed to act like this, like he wasn't supposed to wear dresses and wigs and makeup. Everything was wrong, and there was an itch under the skin of his forearms that he couldn't scratch. It was idiotic, getting so upset over a stupid cat -

"If you like, my flat allows animals. We already have a dog, but if she can get along with the cat then she can stay," The boy offered, and Kyoya was genuinely shocked at the offer. After all, it was certainly a generous one. He'd offer to pay for everything, of course, and he'd always wanted a cat... Or, maybe this guy was only offering because he thought he was a cute, teary-eyed girl with a big heart. Still, if it meant the issues would be solved…

“Are you sure? That’s quite a commitment for someone you don’t know…” He pointed out, but the boy just nodded, “Uh… Thank you…”

“No problem,” The boy nodded, “I’m Haruhi by the way. Haruhi Fujioka.”

A/N: I'm leaving any possible gender identity of Kyoya's up to the reader. You're all valid, and I'm not sure if even Kyoya knows for sure. Have fun!

[lonequack]

Opinion piece: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

I was so excited to see that the Costco near where I live was selling this playscript. I turned it over in my hands and felt a wave of nostalgia from the fancy script the title was written in. A hundred little visions danced around in my memory- scenes from the Harry Potter movies, lines from the books and the moments my imagination had embellished on, added something to and flown away with while viewing or reading the series.  I do not often read play scripts. Shakespeare was a struggle for me in school, because I thrive on hearing the characters thoughts while I read. I like hearing every little step they make, every detail described to the point where the book becomes a movie in my head. My love for the Harry Potter series led to an impulsive buy.  Looking around Tumblr, I expected to find far more praise of this work than criticism- yet I found almost universal criticism, even among those who enjoyed some of the new characters (in particular, Albus and Scorpius).  Now I realize that this book is very different from the original “canon” series, in that our beloved trio is all grown up. Let me address this now: Hermione and Ginny have kept the same personalities, for the most part. Ron seems almost like an exaggeration of his childhood goofiness, but in a lighthearted way that makes him out to be a good dad and loving husband. ”Harry is out of character.”/”Harry would never be so harsh on his kids.” Harry is struggling- as my fiance so kindly pointed out (without very much knowledge of the series, but a keen memory for the movies I’ve forced him to watch), “Hasn’t Harry always had his dark moments?” Wasn’t he often struggling to say the “right” versus the “wrong” things to his loved ones, especially in the fifth novel when he was struggling with a lot of dark thoughts about himself? Throughout the novels, did he not face adversity sometimes with a wit that bordered on sassiness, get into a few big fights with his best friends and regard himself with a measure of self-loathing and despair? Harry has been through a lot of complex childhood trauma- despite having a loving group of friends around him, in The Cursed Child he is trying his best to be something he never had a model for- a good parent. In my perspective he is doing an amazing job, despite every terrible ordeal he has gone through. Sometimes despite being a better person from what you’ve endured, there are still triggers and scars that remind you of where you’ve been. Harry is trying to process who he has been as “The Boy Who Lived” while so many, regrettably, died. He is confused and angry and complex. I have seen good parents lash out when they are bated or berated by their children. Kids can be cruel, parents can react harshly, and it is hard to get to the underlying problem from what your child is saying sometimes. We are messy and emotional as parents. His lashing out at his son is so expected and human to me, so in his character when not considering him as the ultimate angel and hero, not black and white, but as grey as Dumbledore turned out to be by the end of the series.  (As an afterthought: please consider that in a play, there is usually more exaggeration and drama, in order to drive ideas home. The harsh exchange between father and son serves to magnify their differences and similarities.) “Albus shouldn’t have been in Slytherin” In the moment where young Albus is sorted into Slytherin, we see the sorting hat get confused. It sat upon his father’s head years ago and quipped “Very difficult...”, then explained how Harry could fit into any of the houses based on personality attributes. Slytherin was one house considered, but it was considered and not chosen because Harry was resolved toward Gryfindor.  His son Albus shows no such enthusiasm towards Gryfindor (and in fact, Albus is detached from anything relating too closely to his famous father), but his unexpected sorting does serve two important points- to humanize the modern Slytherin (no longer the children of dark wizards and witches) and to give Scorpius a buddy, so that he would not feel so alone. When Albus chose to sit with the outcast Malfoy child, he chose to carry the yolk of a Slytherin, And perhaps it was his birthright, given a middle name like Severus. Severus, who was not a bad man by any means but who was an outcast and a Slytherin in his childhood.  “Scorpius and Albus were meant to be closer than friends” Then I see people describe “I couldn’t have done it without you” moments between the two. Two outcasts who are comfortable around one another to show appreciation, care and even love- as friends. It is in no way wrong or unnatural for two heterosexual young kids, later young teens, who are close as family. To assume that any close friendship must be a premise of more shows a lot about what we believe friendship should be, especially between boys- more guarded, detached. Less emotional, no hugging, no physical affection whatsoever. Physical affection between older children as always a sign of romantic interest, not a sign of two kindred souls. A cultural consideration to this- in Western culture, men are seen as less emotional, less expressive, less physically affectionate. What a better world it would be if every ounce of affection was celebrated but non-assuming, until such individuals actually called themselves otherwise!  It is not as if a strong friendship has never been a theme in the Harry Potter books. This seemed a struggle for even JK Rowling herself, who wanted to pair off Harry and Hermione, rather than exploring their friendship as deep and pure. I must confess, as a teenager, watching the fourth movie, I was not able to discount romantic tension between Harry and Hermione. When the famed “tent” scene happened in the The Deathly Hallows movie, my mind wandered to questions of compatibility. Rowling voices concern about Hermione and Ron being a realistic relationship that would survive the test of time, and I agree that their love was more passionate than realistic. In much the same way that Rose and Scorpius probably would not be realistic. But ah, life does not always follow our expectations. I find also from personal experience, as JK does, that sometimes the more serious, intellectual women “like their men funny”. And you know what? There comes a point in a lot of relationships where you have your differences, but your passion and respect for one another outweighs conflicting personality traits.  “Albus is too moody. Why is Albus so hostile, what does he have to worry about?” My final point, if I have worded this correctly, pertains to the notion that Albus shouldn’t be so glum, has no reason to be moody and is a strange contrast to what one assumes he should be. Albus lives in the looming shadow of his father, who he is learning is imperfect and human. Albus cannot seem to live with the notion that his father is not the hero everyone makes him out to be, and he gets angry. Most children view their parents as all-powerful and all-knowing up until a certain age, and disillusionment can be devastating. In this case, Albus also bears the weight of being a “Potter” and is expected to be just like the rest of the Potters in his awesomeness. As these expectations are not met, others tease him. He gets angry at himself for being the black sheep, and not living up to the expectations of others. All in all, he seems to crave a bit of normalcy not allowed of a Potter child.  So maybe my delight in this playscript rode on the coattails of its predecessors, and maybe people have every right to be angry at the differences between what they consider canon and what they never wanted to be canon. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we expect it to, nor do people, or even ourselves. We have our own expectations and when they are unmet, we are unsettled and not so much entertained. Though I do not agree with many of the points brought up surrounding this playscript, I understand why people feel the way they feel about it, in part because the tale was so non-fantastical in its characterization, so shockingly human to an almost unsettling point. And that is why I love and appreciate it, when all is said and done. 

[kothemystical]

       Although I respect people’s opinions, I can never bring myself to understand why there is so much hatred for Hinata. She loved Naruto since the very very beginning. I think that itself is enough reason to adore her because she was never against him. He didn’t have to prove himself to her and she acknowledged his beautiful personality before anything else. Meanwhile, mostly everyone had to witness Naruto’s physical strength before actually taking him seriously. Hinata was on Naruto’s side even before he could summon a shadow clone properly, before he could call himself a ninja, when everyone was so fixated on the nine tails that they treated him like he wasn’t human. 

     Forgive me if it seems like I’m comparing but when people put team 7 before everything, I close my ears. Don’t get me wrong, I love team 7 but when I think about Naruto, I don’t just solely think about Team 7. When we put team 7′s bonds before everything else, we are demolishing the bonds that Naruto shared with others. We are demolishing the fact that Naruto was alone. Every aspect (even the bad ones) in Naruto’s life should all be taken into account and not just a fraction of it. The fact that he found the woman of his life, I would think that people would be happy because the manga starts with this...

And ends with...

     If you truly think about it, Naruto’s life is being told chronologically from his years as a boy, to a teen, to a young adult, to a full grown man. The ending is quite beautiful because it shows us just how much Naruto has grown; the fact that he found love! Who would have ever thought that knucklehead Naruto would get married... being the first one out of Konoha 11 at that?! It shows that in the very beginning, he was bereft of love... and the ending is basically his earned blessing because now, he’s united with the woman who loved him even when he was just that kid who sat on the swings and sadly watched everyone from afar.  It depicts his adulthood. When watching this wedding, we shouldn’t be thinking “Why did it not end with team 7!” Instead, we should be thinking “Naruto has grown up” or “He’s not that kid anymore!” It’s his wedding. That marks one of the best days of his life. 

     Meh, everyone’s entitle to think what they want. This is just how I look at it. This is why I truly adore Hinata and the ending. While I do feel like Kishimoto should have added more into the ending, I am still grateful for the results. In fact, it makes me want to cry when taking in the beginning of the manga to the ending. Watching Naruto as that lonely kid and seeing him now...Kishimoto did such a wonderful job with explaining the aspects of Naruto’s life. I am so proud of Naruto. He’s accomplished so much and now he’s gifted with a woman with such a beautiful heart.

   She even faced death for him. We see this puny little kunoichi fight a super strong evil shinobi like Pein and lost with the intent of  protecting and revealing her love for someone who has saved her from herself; someone who broke the chains of insecurity and self affliction out of her. That itself tells you that Hinata has a story of her own. She went through spiritual battles herself so you shouldn’t trivialize her feelings and the role she plays in Naruto’s life. She’s a person too... and she is not perfect. People spend so much time with expressing their hatred for her character when even Hinata herself admits her flaws and expresses her need for change; expresses how she doesn’t even like herself. 

    In a way it’s kind of like you tell someone “I hate you” and they respond “I hate myself.” She’s not ignorant of her character flaws and that itself makes her even more of an incredible character because this whole time, she acknowledged her bad sides and it gave her more of a reason to want to change into someone stronger. Naruto was the prime source of her strength because he is the perfect example of what she’s trying to become. He motivated her to pick herself up and continue to work hard as both a person and a ninja. In return, she felt like she owed him her life which is why she didn’t care if she died on the battle field. Her sacrifice confirmed how strong and genuine her love really is. This moment in the manga defines just how strong Hinata had become over the years as both a person and a ninja.

      I don’t see why it is a problem that she wants to be by Naruto’s side. We are already aware of the fact that she loved him since young. When you love someone, being by their side is more like an instinct. This is why she impulsively intervened in the battle the way she did... and other times...

    And, you wanna know something that I find hysterically hilarious? Is that she actually makes it her duty to be by his side. She legit wants to protect Naruto more than he does for her. She wants to be there for him more than she is actually capable... and she BLAMES HERSELF for why he always ends up being the one to save her in the end. It’s hilarious because this girl legit loves this guy and there are still people that don’t actually realize that (I respect your feelings though, but still). Even when she is tired and out of energy, she still tries to make a way to be by his side. Even when she knows she will die, she still tries to find a way. It is plain and simple... Hinata LOVES Naruto. Period, point blank.

    But then again, who’s to say that she’s the only impulsive one? 

              Those subconscious feelings are stronger than a bitch. 

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Every time she helps Naruto, it is suddenly a “problem”. But, the crazy thing is... every time she DOES help him, he BENEFITS from it completely.

   He even admits it every time. If it wasn’t for Hinata’s encouragement, he would have never had the confidence to defeat Neji in the final competition. In fact, he probably would have gotten his ass kicked simply put ^_^ He even THANKS Hinata for uplifting him so sincerely. Naruto’s depression vanished very quickly and now he is back to being himself... positive and full of energy; full of life and strength. Turns out, he actually likes Hinata as a person and understands her better.

   Even her intervention during his battle with pein benefited him seeing that Naruto was going to die on spot after all. Next thing you know, he was able to meet his father, he was able to defeat pein, rewarded the title of the village hero, and luckily for him, he is still alive.  He even acknowledges that Hinata’s sacrifice was a “save” on his part. He knows that Hinata wants to protect him hence he clearly assured her that she has already been doing that.

        You want to know what’s really interesting about this panel? It reminds me of this...

     Mind you, Naruto wasn’t exactly confident about his match against Neji (Like I mentioned before). Hinata uplifted him very quickly just like Naruto was able to uplift her as soon as he sensed how dejected she felt for being saved by him during the war. They are both very good at encouraging each other. It’s like an “eye for eye” sort of thing because they have the answer to each other’s insecurity. You would think that Naruto would have shared his worry to this team mates for those who believe that Team 7 is EVERYTHING. But apparently, he didn’t. For a girl that he considered weird, gloomy, dark , and timid , it truly amazes me that he entrust telling her about his weaknesses than the people he’s been “bonded” with throughout his early journey as a ninja. I’m not necessarily belittling the importance of Team 7 but rather proving that it is NOT the most important thing in the series. We have to be mindful of other characters too because they contribute a lot to Naruto’s character alone.

     He even acknowledges the fact that she saved him from falling into the traps of Obito.  He genuinely thanks her and also acknowledges that she “stayed at his side.” So, if Naruto can happily come to terms with that, then I don’t see the “problem.” In the end, he is back on his feet and being the happy knucklehead that we all know and love. We should be happy that Naruto has people like Hinata in his life that will sacrifice a leg and an arm for him; like his parents, like neji, etc. When putting Team 7 over everything, you are forgetting about those other precious people and things that were put in action to ensure his growth, his potential, and the extent of his passionate feelings as a character. Deny it or not, Hinata aligns with all of that and there is nothing no one can do about it. 

   “But Hinata isn’t relevant to the series because she doesn’t get a lot of                                                screen time.” 

Does the quantity of moments dictate how strongly Naruto feels about a person? Are we really going to let time away from a character dictate someone’s relevance to another person? Because, as far as I’m concern, Naruto has never spent a day with his mom or dad... but they are still upheld as important to him. Sasuke has been away from the leaf village for over 2 years. Even in their adult life, Sasuke has been away from the village for around 12 years (if I’m correct). It doesn’t change the fact that Naruto and Sasuke are very close. If screen time was genuinely relevant, then he would have let Sasuke go over the years that he actually spent time trying to find him. Jiraya has been dead for quite a long time... but Naruto’s feelings for Jiraya hasn’t changed. He still cherishes his god father with every drip of blood in his body. Gaara and Naruto are from different villages (we don’t get to see Gaara all of the time) but even that doesn’t dictate his bond with Naruto. Shikamaru is not even on Team 7 but he and Naruto are basically close as well... just like the of rest of konoha 11. Iruka hasn’t had all the screen time in the world but who did naruto ask to be his father in the wedding? Naruto even cherishes that sweet adorable ramen guy (the dude who NEVER gets screen time).  So, can we please stop making everything about screen time? It doesn’t necessarily matter. The QUALITY of the moments he share with another character is what truly defines those special bonds. Believe it or not, he shared quality moments with Hinata hence there would be no point in the genjutsu meaning anything to him. Once he was able to genuinely decipher those moments, that is when he came to terms with his own feelings for the Hyuga. He was able to realize how he felt about Hinata all along... and it didn’t take THOUSANDTHS of moments for that to happen.

[sammygiddings]

All about Mike: A Character Study

Okay, so honesty, I have nothing better to do, and a lot of love for Mike, so I decided to make this. But this also comes from a place were I’ve seen people kinda villainize Mike for the prank, but ignore the others who played a role. Honestly, Mike’s not the most complex character, but he’s far from a one dimensional character, and I need an outlet for all of my Mike love.

First, lets talk about his part in the prank. While he was one of the key players in it, I won’t say he was the most vital. The prank very well could have just had Hannah waiting all night for Mike to come. Simply thinking a guy liked you, is a prank enough on its own. Which of course makes Jess the most involved person in Hannah prank.

However, Mike did chose to play a part in it, and he seemed to actually find the prank funny until Hannah ran off. And were does this come from? A lack of respect for the women in his life.

Lets me say this, Mike very clearly loves and cares about all the girls in the game, and his friends in general, however, he does not respect them enough.

During the catfight between Jess and Emily, a fight not so subtly about him, Mike never says a word. He watches from the sidelines, in fact, watching the scene, you actually see him lean forward, which shows he is very clearly engaged. This stays the same, even if Matt is siding with Emily, making it two against one.

Still with Jessica, while on their hike to the cabin, very time Mike does something romantic or witty (or in character with his stats) his honesty goes down. Not to mention, if Jess rejects his advances at the cabin, both speaking options seem to revolve around Mike rather than Jessica.

He asks if he did something, more concerned about himself then he is Jess. The other option is just him trying to seduce her and ignore her feelings entirely, which is worse. That being said, Mike clearly cares very deeply about Jess. His reaction to when he thinks Josh killed her and when he thinks (or if she actually does, and he blames himself) she dies proves just as much. But he never did go looking for her. Once she fell, he assumed she was dead and decided to catch the person (technically thing) that did it do her, rather then look to see if she lived.

His treatment of Emily is way worse. Despite her and Jess being tied in relationships stats, he still have no problems being couple-ly in front of Emily, who is very clearly still not over him. He (depending on what you believe) may be sleeping with/making advances on Emily, while still with Jess (Who again, he is showed to love very deeply). He treats the two woman he loves the most poorly, and with a lack of respect.

Why? because it all comes down to two reasons, his fears and his selfishness.

During one of the sessions with Dr. Hill, it is revealed (depending on your choices) that Mike has a fear of isolation. Which explains a lot of his actions in the game. He leads on both Emily and Jessica and doesn’t stop them fighting over him, because he is afraid of being alone. That is also why his honesty trait his his lowest stat. Mike lies because he is afraid of losing people. He also has a lesser fear of rejection, which is why, for another reason, when Jess rejects his advances, he makes it about himself.

He is a character that hates commitment, and yet fears being alone, which leads to him treating the women in his life poorly (or less than what they deserve at least).

He is also by nature, more selfish then most of the characters. While he obviously loves his friends, and his main goal is to get everyone he can out alive. He says as much in the basement when he declares he’s going to get the cable car keys from Josh. But, a second afterwards, (if Emily is bit), no matter what, he will point a gun at her in an attempt to make her leave (or kill her).

While Emily is tied with the woman he loves, the second she put his life in danger, he was willing to let her die. For a man who just claimed he wanted to get everyone out alive, he goes back against is word pretty quickly once his life is one the line. (That being said, Emily could have posed a threat to them all, which very much so impacted his decision to turn on one of the women he loves, but given how high their stats were and how much he cared for her, and then comparing it to Sam’s stats, who’s relationship with Emily is much, much lower than Mike’s, its a pretty unforgivable and inexcusable action). 

If Mike actually shoot her, he will act distraught, but then, he will tell the others that he “had to do it”. The reason behind why he says that is very clear, he is man who doesn’t take consequences for his actions.

Mike never expresses guilt over the deaths of Hannah and Beth. When Jess shows that she is upset about it, he will either avoid blame by saying that they shouldn’t have ran into the woods, or (not sounding too solemn) say that he hopes they are in a better place. This is also seen if Sam finds Hannah’s journal. Mike will refuses to accept that Hannah ate Beth. Despite his lack of respect for Hannah’s feelings, Mike is clearly devastated about what happened to her, and is the only one that asks whether they should go looking for Hannah when she and Beth runs off. Still, he can’t accept that his actions (though not his alone) have ruined Hannah and Beth’s lives, and placed them in the situation they are in.

This is also seen in the end credits if Mike shot Emily (and lived). It is implied that he will be facing criminal charges for killing Emily, and Mike is so shocked by this. Of course, he did it to protect himself and the others, but he is shocked at the thought of having to answer for his actions. Even Brett Dalton said that “[Mike] gets away with a lot”, showing that he hasn’t faced consequences for the shitty things he have done, which is probably why he does the shitty things to begin with.

Jess and Emily hate each other because of Mike, and yet Mike has great relationships with both. Matt is mad at Emily for (maybe) cheating, but no one (even in his fandom, i see some of y’all giving this the double standard) mentions how Mike is possibly cheating on Jess. Mike is shocked when Matt dares to call out Mike for possibly being with Emily. You get my point, he gets away with a lot, which is a breeding ground for his selfish behavior and lack of respect for others and their feelings.

Mike is a good looking, intelligent, able-bodied, silver tonged guy with great leadership skills. All of these traits (though not exclusively) can be things people are simply born with, and people born gifted, are more often then not, the most arrogant and egocentric.

Even though I just wrote about all of Mike’s worst qualities, he’s not a bad guy by any means. He looks after all of his friends, loves them. Hell, even with his lowest relationship stat, Ashley, he is very kind and shows that he cares about her if Chris dies. (If Chris and Ashley had a high relationship stat) Mike will quite literally carry her away to safety, telling her to “stay with me”. Mike also very clearly cares about animals. Wolfie is the most obvious example, but also, with the deer, even if you chose to kill it, it clear that Mike is doing it for a place of kindness and wanting to make sure it does not suffer anymore. 

(I’m gonna play devil’s advocate here, but it can be said Mike shooting Emily comes from the same place of kindness as him killing the deer. Him putting her “out of her misery” so she wouldn’t have to become a monster. Looking at Mike’s actions, I personally believe is was him trying to protect himself and the others more so than Emily, but like i said, devil’s advocate, you can make a good argument here)

To quote my favorite thing written in tv tropes. “He's not exactly a bad guy, just an impulsive dick”. That is Mike.

So, this part is more based off of my own experiences, but where I live, there are a lot of guys like Mike. Upper middle to higher class teen-age boys who are naturally smart or talented and so have a bit of an ego. While I do not like these kind of guys, I know (from experience and the experiences of others) that (for most of them) it is because they’ve never had to face consequences for their actions, and once they go out into the real world, a lot of them will grow up for the better. Mike, to me, is one of those guys. He’s a dick, but clearly he has a good heart and cares so much, and one day, he will out grown and abandon a lot of his horrible traits. Because, at the end of the day, we’ve got to remember everyone in this game is so very young, and that leads to a lot of them doing horrible things do to their lack of experiences and overall self-centered tendencies that younger people tend to have.

tldr (even though you had to read all of this to see this part): Mike’s a dick with a heart of gold and I love him, and I will talk/argue about him forever, but i can’t excuse his actions (nor should I cause that what creates guys like him)