#young ones do not listen to me I’m a bad example

[sugarpasteltmnt]

heh.

[the-merry-otter]

If you’re on mobile, you may have to click on the images for better quality!

Plain text version with image descriptions is under the cut.

Please note that the image descriptions will be reflecting what I am trying to convey with the photo, rather than the total look of the photo itself. For example if I am trying to describe a dress, the hair colour of the person wearing it will be ignored. This is to reduce the total word count of the descriptions, because I have a lot of images to describe. On this note, I have also streamlined the information as much as possible.

[Plain text description:]

First slide: Mariota’s Guide to 14th Century (Medieval) Women’s Clothing

This slideshow is brought to you by @the-merry-otter on tumblr

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MOTHERS AND FUCKERS. I’m bored, so today we’re going to be talking about medieval clothing. Specifically fourteenth century English clothing because that’s what I’m good at. (Source: trust me bro I’m a reenacter). Also this is all female stuff - sorry masc leaning folks, I’ll get to you someday!

Disclaimer: this is not completely comprehensive or nuanced in the slightest, it’s just a quick overview guide. Do your own research xoxo.

[Image ID: to the left is a picture of a woman in a light blue dress and a pink hood gazing out at a lake. The hood has a skirt that falls over her shoulders, and there is along thin pipe attached to the back of the hood that dangles to her knees. The edges of the hood are decorated with burgundy crochet. The picture is captioned “beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, literal goals.” End ID]

[Image ID: To the right is a picture of a typical renn faire outfit. It has a white poofy underdress, a black corset, and a brown skirt. There is a red cross drawn over the image. It is captioned “very pretty, but definitely not medieval sorry!” End ID]

Second slide: Underwear (ooh la la)

Now with nasty pocketses

[Image ID: a picture of gollum, from lord of the rings, snarling in disgust. There is a line in The Hobbit where he asks Bilbo what he has in his nasty little pocketses, which is what I am referencing. End ID]

So, corsets, stays, and shapewear in general kind of wasn’t a thing yet. So your underwear was a shift, which was awesome because it was also your pajamas. They were usually made of linen, though some might have been made of cotton is you were rich.

[Image ID: A plain white linen garment laid out flat on the floor. It is a dress that hangs to about knee length, with elbow length sleeves. An arrow points to it with text reading “this is a shift”. End ID]

There is evidence for supportive shifts for busy support, like this one from the fourteenth century!

[Image ID: a second shift, worn by a female presenting person. It is laced up the front, and is a lot tighter and more fitted, especially around the bust. It has straps instead of sleeves. End ID]

There’s also this bra like fragment found in Austria, but that is a whole debate so.

[Image ID: A bra-like garment fitted to a mannequin. It seems to be made out of white linen, coloured with time. The left cup is damaged, and overall the garment looks incomplete. End ID]

Then, over the shift, yet under your main dress went your pockets, which tied on at the waist. Your dresses had slits do that you could get at your stuff without flashing everyone lol.

[Image ID: A picture of medieval pockets. They are upside down teardrop shaped, but the point is flat and is part of the waist ties. There are slits in the side up the top to access the inside. They are cream coloured with bright floral embroidery. The caption reads “these bad boys can fit so many cool pebbles.” End ID]

[Image ID: A young female-presenting person wearing medieval clothing. She has her hands in the pocket slits of her dress. They are just below hip height. End ID]

Third slide: your dress, or the cotehardie. (Pronounced coat hardy)

Over the shift you put your dress, sometimes referred to as either a kirtle or cotehardie. 14th century people started actually form-fitting their clothes more than previous centuries. These needed fastenings, which were mostly lacings (spiral lacings specifically), or buttons made of either metal or cloth, used at the front of the dress from neckline to waist, and on the sleeves from elbow to wrist, with exceptions of course.

(Sidenote: fuck sleeves, all my homies hate sleeves)

[Image ID: a woman in a warm yellow dress to the left of the text. The dress is constructed simply, with a single piece of fabric used for the length of the body so there is no waist seam. The skirt is widened by inserting four triangles, one each at the front and back, and one on each side. The front has buttons made of the same fabric as the dress, that go down to the belt at the waist. The sleeves have similar buttons from wrist to elbow, on the outside of the arm. The woman is also wearing a liripipe hood. End ID]

Dresses seemed to be mostly wool, though I often use linen for mine because I live in Australia and it’s hot in summer and I don’t want to die. Most often they weren’t lined (that is what the underwear was for).

[Image ID: in the top left of the slide is a woman wearing a green woollen dress. It is constructed the same as the previous image, except it has spiral lacing on the front instead of buttons. The sleeves are fastened by three small buttons. She is wearing a simple and veil. End ID]

[Image ID: the top right of the slide shows a woman in a teal coloured dress, similar to the one before. This one has metal buttons at the sleeves and down the front. She wears a veil only. End ID]

The neckline of these dresses was usually round or an oval shape, and some manuscripts have it so wide that it falls off the shoulders slightly.

[Image ID: A photo of a medieval manuscript, depicting six medieval ladies in a row holding hands. The neckline of their dresses is wide enough that the tops of their shoulders are visible. The image is captioned “me and the girls on a Friday night”. End ID]

Clothing was a lot more colourful than the movies would have us believe lol.

[Image ID: Three women, each in dresses similar to the ones before. To the left is a forest green, the middle one is bright saffron yellow, and the one to the right is a vibrant tomato red. End ID].

Fourth slide: Dress two; electric boogaloo

[Image ID: Merry and Pippin from lord of the rings. Above them, meme text reads “we’ve had one, yes”, and then continues below with “but what about second dress?”. End ID]

You could also wear an overdress, which was usually of a contrasting colour and had shorter sleeves.

As well as fashion, they would have been used for extra warmth, and so were usually made of wool.

[Image ID: a woman in a maroon coloured dress like the ones on the previous slide. The sleeves stop just above her elbow, revealing a blue dress underneath. End ID].

Common people would have only owned a couple of different outfits, as fabric was super expensive.

[Image ID: various pictures of women with examples of an overdress. They are all constructed the same as the overdress, but with shorter sleeves that reveal a second sleeve of a different colour underneath. End ID]

A common late thirteenth to mid fourteenth century overdress was the ladies surcoat, which had big holes instead of sleeves.

Belts would have been worn underneath the surcoat.

[Image ID: three photos of women wearing surcoats. They are normal dresses, except there is a large D shape cut out of either side, leaving a large hole from the shoulder to below the hip. They have no buttons down the front. One of the surcoats is made of red brocade, and obviously belongs to an upper-class impression. End ID].

Fifth slide: Hair and headwear

Hair was worn braided and pinned up, with a coif (cap) and either a wimple or veil, or both. The wimple and/or veil were usually pinned to the coif, or secured on a band of fabric around the head.

Veils would be either oval, or a D shape. Wimples were rectangular. A wimple goes under the chin and a veil goes over your head.

[Image ID: a close up of a woman wearing a wimple. It is made of a light fabric, likely silk. The wimple wraps under her chin and is secured at the back of her head. A narrow band of fabric or possibly leather circles her brow, which would have been used to secure the wimple. End ID.]

[Image ID: A picture of YouTuber Morgan Donner wearing a wimple and veil. The wimple wraps under her chin, and the veil is placed on top of her head, draping down past her shoulders. It does not cover her face. Loops of hair are visible either side of her face. End ID]

All the headwear would be made of linen, thin wool, or silk, depending on class. The veils could also be made really fancy by ruffling the front edge or by attaching pearls.

[Image ID: a woman in a wimple and half-circle veil. The edge of the veil that frames her face is elaborately ruffled. The edge of a coif is visible under the veil. End ID]

I ride the bus in my medieval gear a lot because of events, and way too many people think I’m Amish because of my veil. It’s honestly just funny at this point. I should keep a tally.

[Image ID: a woman wearing a St Birgitta’s coif, pinning a wimple at the back of her head. The coif is a simple white linen cap that encloses the head, with a line of lace down the centre of the head. It is secured with a loop of linen around the head. End ID].

[Image ID: a picture of someone with plaits that have been pinned around the head like a crown. It is captioned “you could also pin your hair up like this”. End ID]

Working women might have just wrapped their head in a scarf instead, fuck this fancy shit right?

[Image ID: a woman in a headscarf that has been twisted and then looped around the front of her head. It is captioned #girlboss. End ID].

Fake braids were a thing! Blonde hair in particular was very fashionable, and bleaching or fake braids were sometimes used to achieve that.

[Image ID: two fake braids made of a coarse fibre. They are blonde in colour, and are looped like a hairstyle seen on many of the reenactors. They have white ribbons attached to the top end to help secure them to the head. End ID]

Sixth slide: Cloaks and hoods

These would have actually been two seperate garments! Integrated hoods on cloaks didn’t actually become a thing until the … seventeenth century or so? (Citation needed).

Cloaks were a lot simpler than the typical cloak we think of nowadays. Often they were just a rectangle of wool, or by the fourteenth century, sometimes a half circle.

They were almost always wool as far as I know, and were generally fastened by a cloak pin or buttons.

[Image ID: a metal cloak pin. It is a circle with a small opening at one point. A long pin is attached via a loop, allowing it to slide along the pin. It can fit through the opening in the circle. To use one, you would gather the fabric on the pin, and then slot the circle over the pin and then turn it, so the fabric is trapped between circle and pin. This is much easier to demonstrate than describe. The picture is captioned “these bad boys are the real MVP’s though”. End ID].

[Image ID: a diagram showing the construction of the bocksten man cloak. It is a half circle pieced together by laying strips of fabric together. In the centre of the flat side, a half circle is cut out for the neck. End ID]

[Image ID: a reconstruction of the bocksten man cloak. It is orange wool, and lined with an off-white linen. It is fastened on the right shoulder by three fabric buttons. It would fall to just above the wearers knees. End ID].

Women’s hoods could be short and open, or with a longer skirt and closed with buttons. Liripipe (pronounced leery-pipe) hoods were named for the tube of fabric that dangled off the back of your hood, varying in length. As well as a fashion statement, it could also be wrapped around the neck like a scarf if it got cold.

Hoods were nearly always wool I’m pretty sure, though they were often lined with linen, silk, or cotton.

[General description: a short liripipe hood would be open, with the bottom only reaching your shoulders. They were made from a single piece of fabric that would wrap over your head, with the seam down the centre back of your head. It was flared at the bottom by inserting triangular gores. At the front edge near your face there would be a strip jutting out that went from one side of your chin, over your head, and down to the other side. This would usually be folded back, revealing the lining colour. The bottom of the hood could either just reach the base of your neck, or reach down to just past your shoulders. The former would usually be open at the front, with fastenings optional. The latter option with the longer skirt was almost always able to be fastened up the front with fabric buttons. The liripipe itself was a thin flat tube of fabric fastened at the centre top back of the hood. End ID]

Fun fact, 90% of why I decided to reenact the fourteenth century specifically was because of liripipe hoods.

Seventh slide: Feet (not in a weird way)

Hose were used to keep your legs warm. For women they were usually knee height, and fastened just underneath it with a garter or tie.

[Image ID: a single light yellow hose, belted beneath the knee with a leather garter. The seam is down the centre back of the leg going all the way to your toes, and then around the top of the foot in front of where it connects to your leg. End ID]

Hose usually would have been made from wool, and were cut on the diagonal (bias) of the fabric to get the maximum stretch possible from the fabric. They still were looser than modern tights are though!

Knitted socks were also a thing I’m pretty sure, but I don’t know enough about them. Sorry!

Shoes were simple, usually referred to as turnshoes because of how they were made. Fun fact: the lack of foot support means that turnshoes are similar to going barefoot in terms of how you walk. Some reenactors love it, some hate it, and some are indifferent lol.

[Image ID: a pair of turnshoes made of dark leather. They have a strap that would fasten around the front of the ankle, similar to some modern shoes. The toes are pointed, and it is captioned “pointy toes were fashionable, especially for men”. End ID].

Because shoes were really hard to waterproof, (ask me how I know), and didn’t have solid soles, wooden pattens (pronounced pat-tens) were worn to keep you off the ground while outside.

[Image ID: a person wearing a pair of wooden pattens over their shoes, standing on a drenched cobblestone street. They are wooden platforms with an archway on the bottom, and are attached to the foot with leather straps around the toe, ankle, and around the back of the heel, similar to modern sandals. The image is captioned “ye old crocs”. End ID].

[Image ID: a woman’s leg with the skirts drawn back, revealing the bright yellow hose underneath. It is fastened below the knee with a strip of fabric. She wears a turnshoe with a buckled strap. End ID]

Eighth slide: Accessories

These are a few other items that might have made up a working woman’s outfit.

Aprons would definitely have been used while working. One were just a large rectangle of cloth tucked into the belt, some were smocked to draw in the fabric. They generally stopped at the waist.

[Image ID: a woman in a red dress, with a very light brown apron. It is smocked at the top, and is attached around the waist with a string. End ID].

Pretty broaches and other jewellery existed! There was cheaper stuff made of pewter for the lower classes.

[Image ID: five gold brooches, studded with different jewels and pearls. End ID].

They had a funny sense of humour as well… and they weren’t all prudes.

[Image ID: a pewter broach of a cat carrying a dick and balls in its mouth. It is captioned “you can actually buy these. I know a website.” End ID].

Eating knives were worn on the belt, though it is debated whether women would have carried one. I do because I’m a modern fourteenth century woman.

[Image ID: a small knife with a wooden handle, laying on top of a leather sheath that has been dyed red. End ID]

Belts are a curiously debated topic. Some people reckon that women would have definitely worn them, others say they they weren’t used by women much at all. As far as I know there are depictions of both, so choose what you’d prefer. They are great for hanging stuff on I gotta say.

[Image ID: a coiled up brown leather belt. The buckle and tip are a gold metal, and it has decorative flower studs along its length in the same metal. End ID]

Pretty little purses would have probably been worn. I don’t know enough about them to say anything else though.

[Image ID: two different pictures of reenactors wearing purses. One is brocade and the other a red fabric. They are in the shape of an upright triangle, and both have five tassels hanging from the bottom edge. They hang off the belt with long drawstrings. Unrelated to the purses, one of the women is wearing a gorgeous orange liripipe hood, that is embroidered and dagged on the bottom skirt edge. End ID]

Ninth slide: Fancy Shmancy

There is a lot I haven’t covered, especially in the realm of the upper classes. Here is some of what has been missed. (Buckle up because this section is very image heavy. I will be as concise as possible).

Heraldic dresses! If you are interested, go check out Morgan Donners video on YouTube.

[Image ID: a picture of Morgan Donner in her heraldic dress. One half of the dress is red, and the other is green, except for where it has been cut out by white with an ermine pattern on it. Her hair is unbound and uncovered, except by a small flower crown. It is captioned “Morgan bestie do your hair properly :(“. End ID]

[Image ID: a drawing of two women in heraldic dresses. The first has a blue right half with a yellow printed design. The top left of the dress is yellow with a blue fish, and the bottom left is red with a white fish. Her train is held by the second lady, who’s dress is blue on the right, and white with green birds on the left. End ID].

Fancy headpieces for rich bitches only.

[Image ID: a reenactor doing a high class impression. Her hair is bound up in Pearl studded hair nets on either side of her head like modern earmuffs, with a spiked coronet around her brow. She has a sheer silk wimple on. End ID]

Fancy dagged edged on hoods, sleeves, dresses, etc.

[Dagging description: where the edge has been cut away to make decorative dangly bits. One hood has red leaves around the bottom edge for example, and another just has a pretty geometric pattern. End description].

Brocade gowns! So pretty!

[Image ID: several different pictures of high class ladies wearing brocade gowns of different colours. These are similar to the wool dresses we were looking at earlier, but with longer trains, and often long draping sleeves. There is even a brocade surcoat. End ID]

Fancy sleeves!

[Image ID: examples of different long sleeves. On some, the sleeve is normal until the elbow, and then it falls away to a long strip of fabric that dangles to the ground. Not mentioned on the slide itself is tippets, which was a band of (usually white) fabric just above your elbow, with a thin strip of the same fabric that draped down to the floor. End ID].

Dresses that were two different colours.

[Image ID: examples of dresses that are exactly like the earlier wool dresses, except they are literally half one colour and half another. The manuscript example is a blue and red overdress with fancy sleeves, and the reenactor example is a yellow and green underdress with a red hood. End ID]

And of course, some of the funky fun fabric choices.

[Image ID: a manuscript depiction of a woman carrying a dead bird. Her hood is red and white striped horizontally, and her dress is dark and light blue striped, also horizontally. End ID].

[Image ID: a manuscript depicting a woman talking to a second lady in a chair. The dress on the first has horizontal stripes of white, red, yellow, and blue, repeated, and the second has horizontal stripes of white, pink, and light blue. Interestingly enough the latter colours are very similar to the transgender flag which would make a very cool dress project. Hmm. End ID].

Tenth (and final) slide: In summery

(Small red text below title reads “I hope you have enjoyed” with a drawn smiling face).

Dis you notice all the “usually” “commonly” and “often’s” in there? That’s because I cannot possibly illustrate everything that we know of the time in only ten slides, nor do I know everything, so I have just tried to show what seems to be the most depicted.

Note: I probably even got some stuff wrong by the way.

If you’re interested in this stuff, I really recommend doing your own research now! Hopefully I have given you a good overview of what a fourteenth century womens outfit might have looked like, so now you can go fourth and know what you’re looking for.

If you have any questions about costuming, reenactment, or anything else, feel free to contact me!! I respond on Timblr decently fast ☺️

[Image ID: a reenactor sitting on a log, staring into the distance with a slight smile. She is wearing a grey-blue dress, belted at the waist with a small purse dangling from it. She has a dark blue cape and a light blue hood, that has fallen back to show a ruffled white veil. There is a pewter broach on her hood. A leather turnshoe peeks out from beneath the hem of her dress. End ID]

A list of helpful YouTubers:

Elin Abrahamsson

Morgan Donner

Opus Elenae

Miss Joss (her instagram is more active).

Now go hydrate!!

[Image ID: a woman in fourteenth century garb drinking from a jug. End ID]

[miley1442111]

realistic reactions- r. cameron

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a/n: this takes place in a au where the stuff that happens in the show doesn't happen :)

tropes: childhood bestfriends to lovers, enemies to lovers

pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader, jj maybank x reader (dw, not for long)

(use of Y/n, and the nickname Bunny/ bun (but i promise not in a weird way there's a story to it i swear it's not just one of those weird smut things))

summary: something pushes feelings up to the surface for rafe, yet yours remain unchanged.

warnings: mentions of drugs and drug use and drinking, fighting, cursing, rafe is a dick, rafe's mental health, reader is going through it, mentions of a blowjob, etc.

not entirely proofread

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The next time Rafe saw you, it was in his kitchen. So casually. His kitchen. Talking with Wheezie and Sarah. 

“Morning sleepyhead,” Wheezie chuckled. “It’s 5pm, by the way.”

Rafe just scoffed and flipped her his middle finger and she sighed, rejoining your conversation. Rafe listened in, of course. What else did you expect him to do? You were sitting in his kitchen.

“What about Jj?” Sarah smirked. “He’s totally into you.”

Fuck no. Fuck no. 

Jj Maybank had been trying to get your attention since Pre-k, and Rafe didn’t like that. He didn’t like it then, and he didn’t like it now. You were not going out with Jj. 

“I guess… but he’s like two years younger than me, and he smokes,” you sighed. 

“So what? I swear to god if you asked him to stop he would. He’s fucking obsessed with you,” she laughed. 

“No way,” you laughed. “Anyways, I wouldn’t want to make him stop something he enjoys just because I don’t like it. That’s not fair.”

That sinking feeling he’d felt all day, the one that made him stay in his room far past his waking up at 11am, made its way to his throat. He was exactly what you didn’t want. He was a prime example of what you didn’t want. You wanted a sweet, normal, good guy. Rafe was an uncontrollable, angry, bad person. He had no chance. 

The words fell from his mouth before he even knew what he was saying. “Jj is an asshole,” he scoffed.

“Rafe, did we invite you into this conversation?” Sarah sassed. “And, Jj is our friend, just because you like to uphold the shitty Kook-Pogue rivalry bullshit, doesn’t mean we have to.”

“Fuck off Sarah, I’m trying to warn Bun. He sleeps with anyone,” he turned to you and watched as your face turned from neutral to offended.

“Who says I didn’t just want to sleep with him?” You questioned and Rafe blood started to boil. 

“Exactly!” Sarah exclaimed. “You can’t tell her what she can and can’t do.”

“Bun, I know you, you don’t want to date a guy like that-“

“No, Rafe, you don’t know me. You’d know me if you ever responded to me. You’d also know that I hate being called Bunny now, so please stop,” despite your cutting tone, Rafe couldn’t help but smile at your politeness. 

But what you’d said. He knew it would come up, he knew you’d ask him why, and to be honest, he didn’t have an answer for you. Some part of him just thought it was hopeless. Even as a 14 year old boy, he knew he wasn’t for you, he knew he wouldn’t be enough for you. He couldn’t be what you deserved. 

“Fine,” he smiled sarcastically, shaking the protein shake he’d been making. “See you later, Bunny.”

He heard you scoff as he walked off. 

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“Asshole,” Sarah scoffed. 

“He’s not that bad,” Wheezie defended. 

“He’s not, that’s true,” you agreed, trying to save Rafe and Wheezie’s relationship. Sarah and Rafe were done. You and Rafe were done. Wheezie could still have a good relationship with Rafe. Be cared about by Rafe, like you once were, and if your childhood memories weren’t just romanticised versions of the truth, being cared about by Rafe Cameron was something you wouldn’t trade for the world. 

“How can you say that?” Sarah gasped. “After what he did to you?”

“What did he do to you?” Wheezie asked, concern filing her young eyes. 

“Sarah, that’s an exaggeration and you know it,” you sighed. 

“Really? He stopped talking to you entirely, and then told everyone on this island that you stopped texting him back and convinced everyone else to do the same,” she listed. 

You shrugged. “Yeah, he was a dick when he was 15, so what?”

“You cannot just be okay with it all, I’d be pissed!” Sarah argued. 

“I’m over it, and I’m over him!” You say finally. You’re over it all, over Rafe. 

Sarah finally lets up her arguing, and your girl's day goes back to normal. Then you got two very distracting texts.

RC: I’m sorry Bunny. 

JM: You coming over 2night?

And if you’d seen the way those texts were sent, you’d be laughing, very hard. 

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RC: I’m sorry Bunny.

“What the fuck do I say?”

“Just text her!” Kelce shouted from across the gym as Rafe stared down at his phone. “Say sorry!”

“Like that’ll cut it?” He hurled back. “I’m the world’s biggest asshole to her-”

“And everyone else,” Topper added and Rafe scowled. 

“Thanks, fuckhead,” he groaned. “OK Kelce,” Rafe sighed. Kelce was the only one of them with a long-term girlfriend. “What do I say, verbatim?” 

“How about, ‘sorry Bun’, it’s simple. It’s sweet. And it’ll mean you can come spot me now,” Kelce smirked and Rafe sighed typing it out, and handing it to Topper to send. 

“You’re really getting me to send it? What are you, twelve?” Topper chuckled. Kelce laughed along while Rafe contemplated letting the bar fall on his friend’s chest, but eventually decided against it. 

That was the problem, Rafe felt uncontrolled with you. Venturing into uncharted territories as his feelings, the ones he’d sworn he’d buried years ago, raised to the surface, and punched him in the face. All at once. 

You were beautiful, Rafe knew that, anyone who saw you knew that. But what they didn't see was the little girl who Rafe ran to every time. the girl who was there for him, the girl who defended him, the girl who he loved.

Rafe's stomach lurched

Woah. Love? Shit, he was in deep.

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JM: You coming over 2night?

“What the fuck do I say?” Jj screeched as Pope and John B laughed at him. “That isn’t helping things!”

“Just text her you pussy!” John B laughed so hard he fell off his seat. 

“Pope,” Jj looked to his smartest friend. 

“Ok, ok, give me your phone,” Pope nodded and Jj handed it over, no question. Jj paced the kitchen as Pope typed out a message onto his phone, a thousand thoughts running through his head, almost all of them about you. God, you’d come back and you were even better than he’d remembered. More fun, more carefree, more beautiful. Jj knew he wasn’t the only one who noticed either, Rafe had his eyes on you and he knew it. Jj would have to act fast before Rafe pulled you back into his orbit of asshole-ness. At least, that’s what Jj called it. He knew if he wanted you, he'd have to act fast, and this was part one of his plan. You could never call Jj Maybank unplanned, because he always had something up his sleeve. 

“Ok, how about,” Pope started and Jj’s heart dropped when his fake British accent came out. “My fair maiden, would you like to accompany me to-”

Jj snatched the phone out of his hands before he could finish, and both the boys were back in their uncontrollable fits of laughter. “Fuck you guys,” he mumbled, leaving the house, favouring to sit by the water instead. He took a deep breath and typed it out, spending about 10 minutes deliberating on whether to send it now, or just run for the hills and never speak to you again. Eventually, he sent it.

He anxiously awaited your reply. 

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You: Sorry J, I have dinner with the Cameron’s 2night. Tomorrow? xxx

3 x’s had to mean something good, right? Like not ‘I’m in love with you, please marry me’ but not ‘you’re disgusting, I’m actively giving Rafe a blowjob fuck off, I love him’.

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RC: I’m sorry Bunny.

Read at 4:12pm

Fuck. He wasn’t just in the doghouse, he was on another fucking continent, and he had no choice but to fucking crawl his way back, and he had to act fast, especially if Jj Maybank was after you.

Dinner was going to be interesting. 

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obx masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)

taglist: (comment to be added :))

@hockeybabe87 @maybankslover @anightlikethisss @linaaaaa654 @ijustwanttoreadlols @ihe4rttwd @sunny1616 @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafeecameronsbitch @drewswifeeee @lovegeorgia

[famemonsterrr]

Astrology observations part 5. 🪽

- Aquarius placements make someone soo smart ass and witty. Especially mercury 🤌🏻

- Gemini and Sagittarius are the type of people who will be killed by curiosity.

- 11th house placements make someone really popular and well known even if they don’t hang out with everyone. Same goes with the 3rd house placements maybe because of your siblings

- Pisces sun with Capricorn Venus is the most random and sad placement in a natal chart.

- Gemini sun with cancer placements are softies and more sensitive than all gemini placements

Men with all gemini in the personal planets is a red flag. Immature and easily influenced

- people with 4th house Venus will want their home to be comfortable and keep memories from their family house. You will see a lot of childhood pics on the walls or maybe a lot of photo albums.

- i love how passive aggressive a cancer can be. Like they are soooo unserious in serious situations. They will piss you off.

- it might be unpopular but the sister sign is a big fat lie. I have seen couples and friends with the sister signs not lasting long. For example every friendship I have a Virgo was good of 1 year and then became toxic.

- Pisces with 8th house placements or Scorpio placements is the person that will have temporary obsessions. Maybe they will find a song and play it for months and then will find a new song and then again. Maybe it would be a crush,maybe a movie character.

- Gemini and Sagittarius placements love cultures and they know a lot of things about them.(My mom is Gemini sun with Sagittarius moon and when I was young she showed me a lot of cultures. One random day she mention how much interesting Bollywood is and bought some dvds and we watched them together. Also had a lot of Arabic cds and we love to listen together and thanks to her my love for cultures became huge)

- i love LEO a lot but having it in your moon is pain in the ass. DRAMA QUEEN but I applause you for being open and expressive with what u feeling. Vulnerable queen💅🏻 but high maintenance moon. Constant admiration and attention.

- Pisces moon/rising people have dead inside eyes as for the other placements I can’t see it. (I’m Pisces sun and Venus and I don’t have this type of eyes)

- air moons scare me. You don’t know how they feel and what they feel. They are just there breathing and existing and inside their head their tiny version maybe burning the whole place💀 (SpongeBob brain scene if u know u know what I’m saying)

- I kinda feel bad for all my Scorpio moon people. Are you okay? ☹️

- Aquarius and Pisces will say things to get a reaction out of everyone. I have seen myself doing that just because I want to annoy them. I don’t believe half of the things I’m saying but I will do it to get a reaction for fun. Also 7th house placements do that.

- earth suns with Sagittarius placements make them super fun and cool. (My bestie is Capricorn with Sagittarius moon and she is so fun and witty)

- have you seen a Pisces sticking into anything? No me neither these bitches changing everything when they getting bored. It’s a mutable thingy ✨

- libra mercury is the devils advocate. ALWAYS

- never date someone who has the same mars sign as ur moon. Unless u want PAIN💅🏻

- always date someone who has the same Venus as ur sun. They will see you as their ideal type vice versa.

- Virgo women love cleaning and organising and Capricorn men love cleaning and organising. Match in heaven? 😏

- just to know the biggest liars are libra and Leo not Gemini.

- Pisces aren’t competitive at all they even let you win. They just don’t care (that’s me unless I’m playing uno) also really unpopular but Aries aren’t that competitive.

- Aquarius love internet friendships because they can have their space and not meet all the time with people.

- Taurus are more obsessive than a Scorpio. (I had a dude who said to me that he was stalking his ex for 3 years straight. It’s the dedication for me💀)

Speaking of these two. THEY ALWAYS BELONG TOGETHER. both insane and obsessed over each other in relationship. Maybe not the best of friends but everything is possible

- I haven’t see Gemini and Pisces be able to concentrate for more than 10 min.

- this is a personal thing to say but as a Pisces I tend to connect people with colours,smells ect. (One of my besties is white and always imagine her as cotton candy.) also I tend to bring in any conversation my closest people. I just love to mention them anywhere I can. If any Pisces reads this please tell I ain’t the one.

- libra sun with Virgo placements is a person with perfectionism and anxiety.

- fixed dominated individuals are like Patrick’s house. Like big rocks 💀

- cardinal dominated individuals need to learn manange their hidden anger issues

- mutable dominated individuals need to learn to end things they started 😒

Thats all 🪽

Okay guys this one was loooong. Sometimes I have a lot of ideas in my head and I get stimulated so thank u for making it till the end. Appreciate it sooo much 🥰 stay healthy and hydrated 💅🏻

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Lilia please impart some sage wisdom to Fellow like how Uncle Iroh gave advice to the one guy that tried to mug him in Ba Sing Se. He fr needs some guidance counseling

I wrote this one while running on like 4 hours of sleep so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense 🤡

So tell me, do you wanna go?

Fellow nearly leapt out of his own skin at the figure that descended, upside down, from a tree. They were short, with choppy bangs streaked with magenta, his irises the same bright color, his vest a neon green. But youthful as the student seemed, his voice was as ancient and as deep as a starry night sky.

“Do my eyes deceive me?” Lilia drawled. “If it isn’t Fellow and young Gidel. It has been quite some time. How goes it? I certainly hope you boys have been behaving yourselves.”

"W-We've been just fine and dandy, I assure you!" Fellow instinctively took a step in front of Gidel. He provided the broadest smile he could muster in that moment. "And you've been in good spirits as well, I presume?"

"Oh, I'm fit as a fiddle, as you can see." The fae swung, righting himself and expertly landed beside Fellow. Gidel clapped, as if applauding a acrobatic performance, but stopped when Fellow shot him a withering look. "Now then, what brings you to our side of the island, hmm? Surely you're not simple tourists."

"Call it temporary residence."

"Temporary residence!" Lilia echoed, his eyes set glimmering like jewels. "My, that takes me back. I was a globe trotter back in my day too, you know. Lived the nomadic life, going wherever the wind took me."

Fellow stared at him as though he had just sprouted a third eye on his forehead. This guy's got a baby face, but he's talkin' like an old geezer... (If Lilia noticed, he wasn't bothered and continued, unfettered.)

"It's wonderful to meet new people and to experience new cultures," he said dreamily. "You learn so much, even from the humblest and most simple of folk. And such interesting stories they shared, kufufu. I’d like to depart on another trip, but I’m afraid school’s got me preoccupied.”

Fellow found himself frowning. He scanned Lilia up and down—the smart uniform, his high-waisted pants, shoes polished. Neat and sweet, likely another privileged kid vacationing on daddy’s dime.

When you’re poor, they call it trashy. When you’re rich, they call it ‘taking time off to discover yourself’.

“Must’ve been real nice for ya,” Fellow muttered under his breath. The brim of his top hat fell down, eclipsing his grimace. “You can choose to stay put or leave for a new place whenever you want. It’s not really an option for us.”

“Ah, but it’s not about the frequency of travel but what you gain from it.” Lilia lifted an index finger. “For example, did you know that sleeping with an uncovered mirror directly at you is bad feng shui in the Land of Crimson Long? They also have an awe-inspiring tale about a woman that took her father’s place in the military and saved the whole country.”

Gidel listened to him intently, ears perking up.

Lilia noticed, his mouth quirked. “Oh? I trust you’ve yet to visit. You should sometime, it’s a lovely place.”

“Maybe one day, though we never stay for too long. The locals, as you can probably imagine, always come to realize they aren’t fans of us.”

“If you opened your hearts to them, then surely…”

“We don’t have that luxury,” Fellow replied, a bit of ice to his words, “unlike you. The world isn’t that kind to us.”

Lilia quieted. His expression shifted, turning several shades more serious. “… Oh dear. I knew a man like you once. He was lost too. Angry, confused, despairing—and lashing out at the world and the people he believed had wronged him, denied him happiness.

“One day, while wandering in the darkness, he came upon a patch of moonlight. It lit the way and led him out of the thicket he had been trapped in for so long.”

That man was…

Lilia smiled softly.

“We cannot turn back time, but we can make the most of what we have left. If I may ask just one thing of you… live on. Look for that moonbeam in the night, that what brings you happiness. Protect it, treasure it, nurture it—so that it may, someday, see the sun.”

Lilia gave a gentle nudge to Gidel, causing the boy to stumble. He caught Fellow’s arm to balance himself.

“And if you can do that for one person, then it’s possible for you to do that for everyone. This world needs more love… not war.”

Fellow shook his head indignantly, but he supported Gidel by the back all the same. “I don’t get a lick of that. Love, war… whatever it is, it’s not my problem. We just gotta get by.”

“Someday, you’ll understand,” Lilia said with a terse laugh. “For now, I think you’re doing absolutely fine as you are. You’re the dynamic duo, never one without the other.”

Fellow smirked, his canines proudly protruding. “Hmph. You’re damn right we are.”

[lemonmaid]

This wasn't in the parenting book.

Warnings: tantrums and parenting, Suguru is referred as mama but that's just because we love male wife Suguru.

Suguru Geto wasn't the one who would usually hold grudges, more or less a child of that matter.

But his adoptive son, (Name), was pushing his limits today.

Suguru took a deep breath, pitching his nose, “I want you to tell me the truth and this is your last chance”.

(Name) whined and kicked his feet against the floor, "I'm not lying! Gumi did it!”.

(Name) was at that young age, you know, five, where kids learn to be honest. The past couple of weeks (Name) would lie about small things, examples followed, if he brushed his teeth, if he broke Satoru's favorite mug, if he was the one who let the cat outside, a lot of small things that led to worst outcomes because of said lying.

Right now, the current lie is that Megumi broke the TV.

Suguru felt agitated, “(Name) I want this lying to stop-”

“I’M NOT LYING”

“MEGUMI IS AT SCHOOL! WHO ELSE COULD'VE DONE IT!”

“I saw him break the TV last night momma! I promise! I promise! Nana and Mimi saw it too! Momma! Momma!”.

(Name) broke down in sobs, the little boy overwhelmed with new emotions.

As (Name) cried. Suguru picked up the little boy, hushing him and rubbing his back. “See? This is what happens when you lie too much. No one will believe you when you tell the truth”.

“I- I-”

“Take a deep breath for me”.

“I promise momma, I didn't break the TV”.

Suguru rocked the small boy, making him calm and eventually fall asleep.

Now Suguru had another problem to deal with, his other children.

“Who broke it”

Nanako, Mimiko, Tsumiki, and Megumi sat silently on the couch.

Suguru glared down at Nanako, “Nan-”

���It was (Name)” Mimiko intrupted.

The other three nodded leaving Tsumiki quiet..

Tsumiki was shaking, trying her hardest not to look at Suguru.

“Tsumiki….”

“It was Megumi!”

“TSUMIKI!” The other three yelled.

“It's not just my fault! It's also Mimiko!”

“It was not!”

“It was too!”.

The four kids bickered with each other, and Suguru rubbed his temples. Where was Satoru when you needed him?

“Everyone to their rooms, I don't want a peep until Satoru comes home. Upstairs. Now!”.

The four rushed upstairs into their rooms.

Suguru pinched his nose, did he want children of course he did but he didn't think about how siblings ganged up on each other since he was an only child.

Same with Satoru.

“Honey am home-”

Suguru's glare cut him short.

“Um, rough day?”.

Suguru sighed, “You can say that”.

(Name)’The baby monitor went off, small crying for Satoru.

“Great I guess I'm the bad guy today” Suguru growled while collapsing on the couch.

Satoru could only stare, confused about what to do. “Is everything okay?”.

Suguru put his palms to his face, “I'm a horrible parent".

Satoru came behind Suguru, rubbing the male's shoulders. “No, babe, you're a wonderful parent. The kids love you”.

“I accused a five-year-old of breaking the TV”.

“Shit I forgot to replace that”, Satoru said under his breath.

Suguru felt his anger rise. “You fucking knew who broke the TV and didn't tell me?”.

Satoru was sweating bullets, “Listen baby! I was- I was going to tell you but I promised Megumi and the girls-”.

Suguru felt a murderest rage, one he hadn't felt in y e a r s. “What happened”.

“You know how you said no curse en-”

“Fucking christ Satoru-”

“Last night Megumi wanted to show me something cool and- one thing led to another and the TV got hit-”.

“Fuckinh Christ Gojo, we need to be on the same side, you need to communicate with me and not fucking hide this kind of shit from me”.

(Name) whined louder on the monitor.

Suguru took a deep breath and walked up the stairs towards (Name) and Megumi's shared room.

“Babe! Don't kill them!”

“I'm not doing anything, I'm grabbing (Name) and if anything I'll kill you”.

Megumi tensed up when he heard the door open, seeing Suguru and his curse energy.

“Momma!”.

Suguru picked up (Name) carrying him down the stairs.

“Babe! Suguru! Where are you going?”

Suguru grab his and (Name)’s shoes, “I'm taking (Name) to dinner to make up for earlier, I expect an apology from everyone when I get back”

“....do you want me to get a new TV”

Suguru stopped and pondered, "Actually, see this as a punishment, y'all broke it, no more TV”.

[leviaana]

Miraculous Movie Review (Rating: 4/10)

I watched the preview of the Awakening movie yesterday and really want to share my honest review. There’s going to be several things that I’ll criticize. So be warned!

Also: Spoilers!! DON’T read it if you haven’t seen it yet. This is my personal opinion. So please stay excited for it!! 🐞🪄

First of all, my overall rating for this movie is a 4/10. Just yesterday I was ready to give it a 5/10, but quickly noticed it had much more things that upset me than I initially realized when walking out of the movie.

I know it’s a pretty low rating coming from such a huge fan like myself, but that’s probably the main issue. I’m a big fan of the show, so changes in lore and characterization will be more apparent to me. For better or for worse, in this case, mostly for worse.

On the first glimpse the movie seems like a retelling - a soft reboot, if you will - of show’s origin story. The plot goes much further than that however, as it also provides a conclusion in form of a final battle with Hawkmoth as well as an identity reveal of our two main heroes.

In order to ensure the entire premise fits into a 90 minute movie, a lot of things regarding the shows lore were simplified. I say that as a neutral statement seeing as a simplification can be either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your opinion of the source material.

Personally, it left me rather unsatisfied but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start with the good things!

One of the things I really enjoyed was the animation! Seeing miraculous with such a high production value certainly felt like a cool summer breeze. While I do prefer the original character models style wise, it was still just nice to see them in this cutesie pretty style! The locals were gagging!

Ladybug and Cat Noir were especially gorgeous!

I also really enjoyed the singing. I watched the German dub and it was very neat!

Sad to say that was pretty much how long my enjoyment lasted. Everything apart from what I’ve mentioned above was… interestingly handled… to say the least. Let me elaborate.

1. The dialogue was awful!

Truly not the biggest fan of musicals but I couldn’t wait for them to start singing just in order for them to STOP TALKING 😩!

The dialogue was so awkward and stiff. All of the characters were interacting very weirdly with each other. At times it would sound like several lines of dialogue were cut from the final version, as the characters barely acknowledged each other verbally. They didn’t talk with each other, but past each other.

Moreover, every second phrase was a very cheesy one liner. “Believe in yourself.”, “Listen to your heart.”, “stronger together”. Super overdone.

The movie wanted to be inspirational so bad, it forgot to be genuine.

Some examples that I recall from memory:

“Mom, I don’t have any friends and I’m scared to go I school.”

“Just believe in yourself, Marinette.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Or.

“Tikki, I’m in love with Adrien.”

“Listen to your heart, Marinette.”

“My heart……Adrien.”

2. How did they manage to make Ladynoir banter … weird and uncomfortable to watch?

Don’t let these pretty movie shots fool you because Movie!ladynoir spent their time in a constant roasting competition that they were somehow both losing!

Not once did they manage to establish that flirty and charming atmosphere around them. No, they were draaaagging each other through filth. And maybe it could have been somewhat fun, god knows I love couples that can roast each other. If only the dialogue was better and didn’t reek of “we have no idea how young people interact”.

In a desperate attempt to make jokes, they let Chat call LB a sidekick or watermelon in every. single. scene. To say that it got annoying when the jokes didn’t land the first 10 times they were made is an understatement. No Milady, no Bugginette, no little wink or a kiss on the hand. Only watermelon and sidekick. Them talking in weird cut off phrases. With careless whisper playing in the background.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some beautiful moments. But their beauty can only ever do so much when met with weird pacing, dialogue and characterization. I’ll talk about that last part in a minute.

3. Everything was so on-the-nose.

The characters would constantly say how they feel and what they think aloud. Jeremy didn’t trust us with even an ounce of media literacy. Classic case of always telling, never showing. Not to mention the constant inspirational quoting in a desperate attempt to convey some deep message. Is this a movie script or my moms facebook page? I guess we‘ll never know.

4. Characterization: Marinette

Having Marinette be somewhat scatterbrained but overall still respected by her peers is not inspirational enough! Make her your average teenage outcast and a total loser. Dad, you’re embarrassing me in front of the cool kids!

If you enjoy that kind of characterization that’s okay! Personally, I thought it was very cliche. It just.. didn’t do anything for her as a character. Having her start off at a much „lower” point in life, with almost no support system, only makes her coming of age journey to eventually become a self accepting confident heroine take longer. Seeing as the movie is only 90 minutes, the moment we see her “shine” is when it’s all almost over.

5. Ladybug …?

Did I mention Ladybug doesn’t use her lucky charm? Not. once. No crazy plans to show that she’s smart and creative. Just a pretty girl swinging around.

6. Adrien

I have a bit more to criticize about the characterization of Movie!Adrien.

The longer I think about it, the more it becomes apparent that they really didn’t know how to write Adrien. His personality appears inconsistent, almost like they were trying to fit him in too many roles at once. He is either extremely closed off and mysterious (even towards his friends), a comic relief character, bathing in self pity or just outright cocky. Those hoping to see his politeness and selflessness will be disappointed. This character only is ever shown to be self centered. A perfect example is how he *didn’t do anything* to be called worthy of the Black Cat Miraculous. He was just one of the „chosen ones“. When the Adrien from the series sacrificed his own freedom to help Master Fu.

Another example is how this Adrien doesn’t really see anything in Marinette. He called her strange in their first interaction and never really lost a single thought on her throughout the rest of the series. No common praises, no support, just awkwardness and not the wholesome kind. In fact, I would argue Marinette and Adrien aren’t even friends in the movie, the only interaction to suggest otherwise was slammed as a 5 second scene in a 2 minute montage.

Even if you were to suggest their bond was formed off screen. We don’t really see it ever take root. He even turned down her gift and invitation to go to the ball with her. Yes, you guessed correctly. It was because he was busy bathing in self pity over being rejected by Ladybug. Yikes.

To sum it up, this Adrien really doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Ever. They massacred my boy.

7. Chat Noir

His charming smugness as Chat Noir crossed the fine line that turned to arrogance.

Considering how Adrien was characterized, that comes as no surprise.

As mentioned in my criticism towards the dialogue and the Ladynoir dynamic, this Cat is often seen discrediting LB with unfunny jokes. The moment you see him actually appreciate Ladybug, open up to her and Woo her, it’s all overshadowed by his entitlement to her affection.

Some may argue that we see traces of such attitude in the show as well. However, in a series, Chat Noir has many redeeming qualities as well as time to grow, change and move past these flaws. And boy, move past these flaws he did. In the movie, it’s all you get. Take it or leave it.

In one scene, he even lets her think he was hurt by an Akuma in order to catch her worrying about him. It was just a short scene and most people would look past it, but I think it’s these small details that really show how these movie characters tick in comparison to the series.

8. Akumas/Hawkmoth

Just a small detail that kind of ended up taking away the enjoyment of all action scenes is how the Akumas in the movie do not have a motive. There’s just some random people that you don’t care about before their akumatization and that you won’t care about after.

Hawkmoth doesn’t make a deal with them, ask for ladybug and chat noirs miraculous in exchange for his powers, none of that.

He just makes them evil and they do evil things for shits and giggles. The movies premise doesn’t even suggest he needs the miraculous. He just needs to get close enough to Ladybug and Chat Noir to steal Tikki and Plagg.

9. The Ending

I just wanted to dip into that ending real quick. In the movie, Gabriel is redeemed when he finds out about Chat Noir being Adrien. He apologizes to him and they make up. The scene surely will make people emotional, but from my perspective it was all rather predictable.

Whether or not Gabe was worthy of a redemption in the movie is a topic to discuss on its own. Personally, I was okay with it.

What I found more interesting however was…

10. The reveal

This is the moment most people have been waiting and yearning for. And I may sound a bit smug when I say that the movie served a good purpose to show us that a fast reveal would have never ever been satisfying!

It was super underwhelming because - of course it was!

Marinette and Adrien barely had a connection! For all we know they could have been total strangers and their reaction to each other’s identity wouldn’t have been any different than what we saw in the movie.

We never saw Marichat or Ladrien interact either. So that certainly lead to a less explored dynamics. Cue unsatisfying reveal.

They really tried to make it this big emotional final moment, but really? We just saw Ladybug and Chat Noir lean in for a kiss without their masks. Like in a new fit. Nothing really groundbreaking came out of it.

Any fake reveal in the show was better than that and I mean it with every fiber of my being.

And don’t even get me started on how Adrien only ever noticed Marinette when she revealed to be Ladybug. It’s just not it.

Final thoughts.

There’s sooo many more things that I could elaborate on but I think for now I’ve said enough to support my rather poor rating of the movie.

In my opinion, the movie relies too much on people enjoying the source material while trying to be its own thing. It risks leaving everyone unsatisfied.

Those who watch the movie as a stand-alone are met with weird dialogue as well as plot, characters and dynamics that aren’t at all fleshed out.

Meanwhile those who watch the movie because they like the show will be inevitably comparing the movie to its far superior source material.

[smolvenger]

Back on me ranting about how much I hate Sylki bc I’m bitter, I had one thought that @bifrost-glitter touched on and I want to explore in depth-

What if, for the Loki and Sylvie pairing, we switched the genders?

What if it was a female protagonist who ran into a badass male warrior with a Tragic (tm) past?

imagine the woman falling head over heels for a badass male warrior she knew for 12 hours and dedicating herself to him and gushing over him…defending his every action.

Imagine the man says harsh things. Doesn’t really listen to her. Doesn’t acknowledge when she is kind to him. And the woman gushing about how tragic he is and how she will fight for and do anything for him. And when they do fight, she is shown as incompetent and he is so much stronger and better and she is just there to go “wow!”

And when they are reunited, he shows no remorse and won’t listen to her…nly for him to manipulate her feelings, make fun of her, call her names, belittle her, be stronger than her. Kiss her briefly to distract her all while she keeps begging him and acting all she wants is his happiness…and he ultimately betrays her for his own gain. And she still holds no anger and easily forgives him and searches the world for him?

If that was the case, there would be whole articles in newspapers about it being toxic and a bad example for young people, especially young girls, to watch to expect for a romantic relationship. The fandom and watchers would be all “omg! Poor little meow meow! Dump his ass! You deserve better than him, queen! He doesn’t deserve you! He is such trash!! I want to snuggle her in a blankie and tell her everything will be okay!”

But…*sigh* because it’s a woman abusing a man, it’s okay. It’s a “girlboss and malewife” dynamic and it’s romantic and Empowering (tm). (Also, watch The Gilded Age for The Russell’s for an example of a Girlboss and Malewife romantic relationship that is both healthy and well written while still engaging). Because women are totally not capable of being abusive or doing anything bad, right?

*sigh*

[devine-fem]

I wanted to talk about Damian’s sexuality.

That comes out weird, I know but this is prompted more so because I saw someone post about how he’s always been straight and op didn’t understand how people were so surprised when he started dating Nika. Then someone took a jab at Damijon + another person who said they didn’t understand the concept of Damian not understanding queerness.

I think that Damian doesn’t understand queerness but I’ll get into it toward the end of the post.

This will be put in two parts. One for Damian and how he feels about his sexuality and Damian’s internalized homophobia.

Let’s start with his canon love interest; Flatline. Flatline unlike his other attempted love interests was supposed to be taken seriously and didn’t suck. Compared to the others on this list, we should be rejoicing at Flatline.

Then this person used panels where it suggested that Damian had a sexual interest in a woman.

Almost every single person Damian has been interested in has been treated like a joke and not taken seriously. Some women are much too old for him and just awful picks.

Katana… why… stop please. Another example of them only doing it as a joke. This is so weird considering she’s much older.

Supergirl. Another joke. And much older.

Djinn… I don’t even know why…

Cassie Sandsmark… in a Earth, nice one Tom Taylor.

He has a couple more one off ones that weren’t taken seriously as well.

I know he got a cheek kiss from Emiko. He also dated Raven in an animation but I feel it was more a plot device. Also there are a lot of sexual jokes about Damian and I hate because he’s supposed to be ten by that time… there were some weird sexual impilcations when he teamed up with steph and I don’t know why writers do that instead of exploring the potential of their characters together and relationship…

Now let’s get into how Damian personally feels about his sexuality.

He jabs at romance and the concept of it a lot.

In Robin 2021 he also was very against romance but it was more as a way to sheild himself from his feelings. The only real confirmation that Damian is attracted to woman is Nika. So thank you, Nika. Anything other than that is just comphet to me at least.

This is also why he’s hc as Aro, Ace or Demi because he literally shows no interest in romance and the only times he does it feels like the writer has forgotten his personality.

TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT.

People don’t talk about that time Damian was kind of drugged/mind controlled and sexually assaulted… I’m not sure if people don’t perceive it that way but it seemed like SA to me.

She’s much older than him. He’s a ten year old. The way she’s speaking… her being naked. Damian telling her he doesn’t like it. Him not being in his right frame of mind… it reads this way to me.

Listen, I don’t understand how you can interpret Damian as any sexuality anyway when he’s so young. Only when he’s thirteen/fourteen can it truly be explored.

Although, Damian saying he won’t/can’t feel that way also proves my case.

He’s never really shown a whole bunch of interest in anyone.

—— End of trigger.

Now for the internalized homophobia.

So, the arguement is “he’s too smart not to know about queer culture…” What? What part of not knowing about queer culture makes you stupid?

Damian grew up in a very controlled environment where he was taught how to survive, taught how to lead and how to feel. What part of his schedule would fit in learning about queerness?

Internalized homophobia is in no way a bad thing and personally, as others do as well, see it as another way to queer code because its something a lot of queer people experience. This doesn’t negate the attraction to woman by the way but that doesn’t mean Damian can’t be interpreted as some other type of queer.

There’s also people who like to negate and ignore this part of Damian’s character but… why? These moments are part of important comics with his character. Damian was young and didn’t know much about well, anything. If you’re not personally queer yourself then you have no real incentive to learn about queerness.

There’s nothing really wrong with it. Even if Damian used gay as more of an insult. I doubt he knew what being queer was outside of “When boy likes boy.”

Also, he makes some comments often that come off… not the best.

I still really don’t think its bad and can be interesting if explored.

This also coupled with his culture shock, probably adds to his confusion on certain cultures.

I mean, he doesn’t know all that much. He’s not exactly mister super genius when it comes to real life things as well.

He doesn’t know what laffy taffy is… come on.

All this evidence doesn’t even matter anyway because it’s confirmed that when he does go to pride that knows literally nothing about it and has to be EXPLAINED by a friend about how it came about and how it works but people get so upset about that.

I don’t know what Damian’s sexuality could possibly be but I just don’t personally think he knows either and that has nothing to do with Damijon or any ship, but with canon.

I wanted to go more indepth to this but yeah, internalized homophobia Damian is very close to me.

[chaoticcollectivenightmare]

Incorrect Quote Generator - The Boys

Homelander / John = Antony Starr

Shadow / Nick (OC) = Andrew Garfield

Soldier Boy / Ben = Jensen Ackles

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Nick X John (Romantic) (Situationship?)

John & Ben (Platonic) (Hate! Family Relationship)

Nick X Ben (Romantic) (Romantic Relationship)

Nick : Look, last night was a mistake. John: A sexy mistake. Nick : No, just a regular mistake

John: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this... Nick : *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card? John: Holy moly-

Nick : Go fuck yourself. John, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

Nick: John, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right? John, naked in Nick's bed: No, I absolutely do not. Nick, already taking off their clothes: Fuck… Me neither.

Nick: What’s your body count? John: Do you mean sex or murder?

Ben : looks over John ’s shoulder at their laptop What the fuck? John : slams screen shut It’s just research! For something I’m writing about! I swear that’s it! Ben : Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs? John : It’s not just “frogs”, it’s the Surinam Toad. And it’s not “breeding habits”, it’s how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know! Ben : That doesn’t change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction. John , offendedly: You don’t know that! Ben : I hear no denial.

John : My life is a mess. Ben : Son relax, go get a beer. John : I don’t want a beer. Ben : Who said it was for you?

John : There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza. Ben : So, you’re not going to share? John : I’m not going to share.

John: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but— Ben : Thats because your too short to do so. John: …Listen here you fucking—

John: I’m totally useless. Ben : You’re not totally useless. Ben : You can be used as a bad example.

Nick : Ben and I are no longer friends. Ben : NICK THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

Ben : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Nick : It was autocorrect. Ben : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Nick : Yes.

Nick : I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Ben : Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal. Nick , getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

Ben : Fight me! Nick : gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Nick : Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Ben : I’m in love with you. Nick : We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork. Ben : I know. Nick : Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

[madisonthetimewalker]

You know what fuck it take modern AU Adamai headcanons

1. Adamai works in retail do not ask why he just does.

2. He has clip on ear rings he got his ears pierced once and he regretted it because of the pain

3. He doesn’t like to express himself very much mostly keeping to himself and not talking about his problems.

4. He likes to read and I mean he LOVES reading, if you’re lucky you can catch him on break reading a comic book.

5. He knows how to skateboard (yugo does not and he laughs at this)

6. He mostly stays in his room only coming out for food or unless he wants to be outside for a bit. Other than that he doesn’t really leave his room.

7. He’s very smart about specific dragon cultures, every so often you can catch him in the library reading about dragon myths and possibly ancient food recipes.

8. Surprising he’s very quiet, sure at a young age he was bubbling with joy but now he’s more quiet and sometimes shy.

9. He doesn’t really like big gatherings it was never his thing. If he didn’t know anybody there then he would sit in a corner and mind his own business. (This man has horrible social anxiety)

10. His taste in fashion is decent most of the time he just wears baggy jeans and a shirt, he isn’t much for looking nice.

11. I like to see him as this huge nerd, for example if you ask him about a specific event involving ancient dragonic history. He will talk for hours explaining every detail and every bit of lore (look at my nerdy boy)

12. He doesn’t have many friends at work or at all for that matter, he just works although yes people have tried to talk to him in the past he rarely interacts with them.

13. He loves listening to drama, he loves to listen in on interesting conversations it’s like a hobby at this point.

14. Adamai isn’t much of a people person (as I have said multiple times in this post) and if your lucky enough he might talk to you about specific issues and topics, although he has this bad habit of dozing off during conversations. (Just like me fr)

15. He’s a heavy daydreamer, often times you can see him standing in the middle of nowhere dozing off we don’t know how he does this or how he gets himself in these situations but god is it funny.

16. He gets embarrassed easily when told he did a good job on something, Adamai rarely if ever gets compliments so telling him he’s the best guy in the world it makes him hide his face due to how red it gets.

17. He gets scared easily but not like “omg everything scares him!” More like if you come up behind him without him hearing you he will scream like a banshee.

18. He can run and I don’t mean “oh he’s just fast” HE’S PRETTY FUCKING FAST, if this man so much as sees a big ass spider he’s fuckin GONE

19. I like to believe Adamai has a huge sweet tooth. He loves to eat sweets whenever he gets the opportunity

20. He hates night shift and I mean HATES IT if he so much as hears one creek from the ceiling his ass is already out the door.

21. He has humor trust me it’s there, he isn’t one to make jokes but when he does none laughs sadly mostly because they don’t get it and Adamai has the humor of a broken down 1950’s truck. (Don’t worry Adamai I’ll laugh at your ridiculously stupid jokes)

22. He rarely sleeps (unlike qilby who’s sleep schedule is so bad that it could rival that of Xelor himself) but when he does he’s knocked out for Atleast 2 days. Adamai honey please take care of yourself I’m begging you.

23. He listens to music a lot it’s mostly to block out the annoying noise of people talking and baby’s crying for no reason

24. He can babysit (if you pay him enough) he hates it but he does it for people who need a break.

25. He gets bored easily, sometimes you can find him in the skatepark minding his own business.

Ok that’s all for now can you tell he’s my fav? And can you tell how much I love modern AU’s?

[anotheroceanid]

I wrote this sleepy, directly on my laptop and barely revised it, please have it in mind!!!

Your treat. @perseabeth @orchardsong

For context to everyone else, this is a unfinished one shot I was writing for the WTHB series, but I literally just made two scenes and called it a day and went back to the main story lol

Her eyes are only slightly closed as she enjoys the sun kisses on her skin. Percy tries not too look flushed while she help one of the new campers on how to hold a sword properly.

‘Are you alright, Miss Jackson?’ The little girl asks. ‘You’re red.’

Percy is obviously failing.

‘It’s never this hot in Atlantis. I think I got used to weather there.’

‘Oh, there must be nice. I don’t like when it’s hot.’

      It would be a surprise if she did. The was Boreas’ daughter. And Canadian.

‘It is. But I like warmth, too.’

For a second, Percy was silently judged by a seven-year-old girl, ‘Well, guess even the Hero of Olympus can have poor taste. If the barrier controls the weather, couldn’t someone turn on it’s AC?’

Percy wheezed as she heard an indignant "Hum!" near her ear. The sun tickled her cheeks, and Percy smiled softly.

‘Hey, do not wave the sword so… fast…’ She mumbled as one of Hermes’ boy threw his weapon a few metres away. Thank gods it was a wooden sword, because it hit right in the head of one of Demeter’s children, who immediately started screaming.

‘Keep going, Anne, you’re doing fine.’ Percy praised the daughter of Boreas as she ran the other way, where the six-year-old boy cried. ‘Chill, chill. It’s alright!’ She bent down to be at the child's height, so she could verify it’s head. ‘It’s alright, right?’ She whispered as low as possible, so the young campers that reunited around her wouldn’t listen.

‘Yup. Just good old drama.’ Apollo answered. Only her could hear him.

‘Great! I mean, hey it’s not bad, you know? You’re tough!’ Percy cheered, and the six-year-old seemed sceptical. ‘It’s just a little ouchie, isn’t it?’

‘No!’ He claimed loudly, hand dramatically placed on his head. ‘It’s a big ouchie! Kiss it!’

Percy blinked for a moment. Oh, this is cute. ‘Of course, of course.’ She said, as she kissed his forehead. ‘Is it better now or do you think you need to go to the infirmary get some syrup!’

‘I’m fine!’ He cheered. ‘No syrup, it’s disgusting.’

‘Okay, no syrup then.’ Percy laughed, and she heard Apollo giggling too. ‘Now get your sword and go back to practice, okay? Nico, would you assist me, please?’

On a distant corner, wearing a black hiking jacket that would make Percy melt in that heat, Nico Di Angelo frowned. ‘Am I not, already?’

‘The idea is to, for example, not let people accidentally throw swords on each other.’ Percy mouthed.

‘I don’t like kids.’

‘Then why did you offer help, Mr Retiree?’

‘Technically, I could be.’ Nico said.

‘Technically, he could be.’ Apollo muttered, at the exact same moment.

‘… and it was either that or helping with the strawberries. The dryads say I’m terrible with plants.’ The dryads are correct, Percy silently agreed, but said nothing. ‘But I’m terrible with kids too, so…’

‘You’re not terrible with kids. They are very welcoming if you try.’ Percy encouraged, though Nico didn’t seem convinced. ‘For cookies, then?’

Nico seemed to ponder for a moment. ‘Don’t draw skulls on them this time.’ He turned, moving toward the same son of Hermes, who looked at Nico like he was the coolest guy alive.

‘That’s a low blow, love.’ Apollo whispered, and she felt his fingertips stroking her neck. She felt a shiver down her spine. ‘Can I get cookies too?’

‘Stop that!’ She mumbled, trying to move her lips as little as possible. She had gotten pretty good at it recently; though it was particularly easier when she was surrounded by little kids she towered over. But poor Nico… Well, he was too overwhelmed by the speed the son of Hermes talked to pay attention to her. If his eyes grow any bigger, they’d fall out of his face.

Apollo chuckled. ‘Took me a lot of effort to get here. If anything, it’s your fault I turned touchy.’

Percy knew she was red like a tomato. ‘You’ve always been touchy.’

‘Unfortunately, I tend to get worse with time.’ He kissed one of Percy’s shoulders. ‘Will you come to Delos with me for the weekend?’

She bit her lip, knowing she should say no. However, it was not like Percy had anything to do at camp in the weekend. The friends that’d be at camp would be engaging in activities Percy had been avoiding and the other friends… Well, not her age. Percy didn’t see herself spending the entire weekend playing UNO with Cabin 7 and Nico, either.

Technically, she could go to Atlantis. There was no downside to that, even if sometimes Triton could be a bit overwhelming as an older brother. Then, father allowed Triton to be overwhelming, so she blamed it on him. Besides that, it was always fun in Atlantis…

‘Or…’ Percy started, ignoring completely her previous line of thoughts. ‘You could come to my mother’s apartment.’ Apollo got silent. Percy blushed. ‘Unless it’s something terribly offensive to invite a god to your mother’s apartment for a weekend. In this case, ignore what I just said.’

‘Do you want me to meet your mom?’ He whispered softly, and Percy felt his breath near her neck.

‘You know my mom.’ She answered, exasperated at the closeness. ‘Dude, I really need to focus on not letting a kid not pluck an eye from another.’

He ignored what she just said and kept going. ‘I saw your mom. Once. That didn’t count.’

‘You talked to her.’

‘Artemis talked to her. I just stood there and nodded trying to not look stupid.’

This was Percy’s time to chuckle. ‘Artemis would argue you failed.’

‘I would argue I failed that day! I’m pretty sure I was smiling a little too much. Didn’t she spoke to you about me?’

‘Nope. Not a word.’ Mostly because Percy blackout-ed a few hours after the Laurel Wreath Ceremony and didn’t remember most of it, because no one thought about telling her the free drinks weren’t alcohol free. Bless Rhode for helping her and keeping it a secret.

‘See? I caused a bad impression.’ He professed dramatically. ‘You cannot ask me to just show up in your door one random weekend and then meet your mom, I need planning time. I need to gather gifts, and maybe write a poem or a music to her.’

Percy pictured Apollo showing up at their door with a millionaire collection of jewellery and the next Billboard Hot 100 number one hit. That wasn’t the way Percy wanted her mom and Paul to meet her boyfriend. Boyfriend? Can she call him that? Secret boyfriend? Friend-with-Benefits who walk holding hands in Paris? Friends’ brother who she kissed indiscriminately when they were left alone? Friends’ dad she got cosy with? Percy never brought up the topic, and sincerely she was a bit nervous to do so, but she wondered what she should call it.

Not that she would be announcing it to anyone any time soon. Or ever. Well, ever was a long time to count with, but she’s not spilling the tea the next girls’ night.

‘My mom won’t be there.’ Percy revealed, licking her lips timidly. ‘She and Paul are visiting his family, so… We would be alone.’

Which wasn’t the case in Delos.

His mom was there. Leto was amazing, but that all knowing grin she would give them made her feel scandalous. Additionally, Percy would like to have a moment with her Call-It-What-You-Want without Thalia, Artemis and Hermes playing UNO on the living room. It was not as if she intended doing anything, Percy simply didn’t want that feeling of being watched.

‘Oh…’ Apollo sang devilishly. ‘This won’t help me cause a good first impression.’ He laughed, obviously finding fun in it all. ‘Which isn’t fair, considering my whole family adores you. And don’t dare arguing with me, you know it’s true. I’m talking about the side of the family that matters, by the way.’

They remained quiet for a second, then Percy spoke. ‘So, is it no?’

‘It’s an absolute "I’ll be there!", I’m just thinking how I’ll make it up for your mom… Any idea?’

‘My mom is chill; she won’t hate you for coming over when she’s out. Mom always says I can bring in, hm… ‘Boys, but he didn’t need to know that. ‘…friends.’

Silence, again. ‘Her favourite singer is definitely getting a Grammy next year.’

‘Her favourite singer is Freddie Mercury.’

‘Your family definitely hates me, my love…’

Mr D almost cries when she tells him and Chiron that she is leaving to spend the weekend "with her mom". Well, he didn’t cry. But he cried out a ‘You’re leaving me alone with them?!’ As he pointed his finger to a group of toddler demigods who played in the carpet. Apparently, they invaded Big House and refused to get out without a fight.

Chiron also gave her a pleading look as one of the toddlers pulled his tail. ‘Is it urgent?’ He asks, silently agreeing with Mr D.

‘I mean, she’s happy that I improved with the whole thing with the war, so we wanted to spend some time together, you know? Like the old times. Words like "gatekeeper" and "fight" were used against my father.’ Being around Hermes made lie much easier for her. Percy wondered it was some sort of blessing or if she was just learning it by familiarity.

‘Can’t you go next week?’ Mr D asked, as he moved his hands to flout a pointy pen out of one of the toddlers’ hands. The poor kid started to cry. ‘Or next month? Your mom won’t run away, Penny Johnson!’

She held a laughter as she watched Mr D pick up the child and try desperately to stop the monstrous tantrum over a pen. ‘They won’t grow in a week.’ She retorted, smiling devilishly.

‘Maybe we should get a permission on Olympus to age every kid to twelve as soon as they cross the barrier for the first time.’ Mr D suggested, looking rather serious.

‘You’re not doing that!’ She and Chiron rushed to suppress that absurd idea before the other gods heard it.

‘Oh, as if I didn’t suffer enough…’ Dionysus sighed. ‘How people do it without drinking?’

‘Preferably, everyone should do it without drinking.’ Percy frowned. ‘Give me the child, would you?’ She stepped in and stole away the toddler from his arms. He didn’t even fret from releasing them.

Percy rocked the toddler cheerfully, and they quickly forget why they were crying.

‘Just take them with you! Actually, why don’t you keep them?’ He suggested, as if it was the most brilliant thought someone could ever come out with.

‘I’m seventeen!’ She remembered to him.

‘Back on my days, you’d have a litter of your own already… Your mother will be there, won’t she?’ Oh, yeah, that… ‘A souvenir from Camp Half-Blood, isn’t it nice?’

Without even thinking twice, Percy come up with an answer. ‘It’s not her job to take care of other people’s kids.’

‘And is it mine?’ Dionysus pointed out to himself, and as Chiron and Percy opened their mouths to answer, with a finger raised, he added, ‘It’s a rhetoric question.’

‘So, here’s my rhetoric answer: tire them until they sleep and pray it last for a few hours. That was what mom did to me when I was this age.’

She put the toddler on the ground, and it ran to hug Mr D legs, who shrieked like he had just been electrocuted.

Percy grinned and left the Big House.

It’s almost night. She needs a bath. Camp got so crowded ever since the end of the war that the days felt longer with all the additional classes, they needed to encompass all different age ranges; not that the veterans would use it as an excuse to skip the underground parties. They were more frequent when Pollux was around. However, he had been pre-emptively sent to a spiritual retreat with the Maenads. A fancy way to say he’s temporary exiled from Camp, because apparently some gods (Athena) didn’t like the "bad influence" he had on their children (Annabeth). The Gods weren’t thinking straight if they thought teenagers would let his legacy go to waste.

The Stolls were getting a lot of money with the parties. With the brilliant mind of Leo Valdez, one of the campers that arrived last winter, they were literally keep the Underground alive. Percy suspected that Mr D knew but kept quiet about it because he didn’t want to spoil everyone’s fun—especially when this fun kept his domain so close to him.

Percy watched as some nymphs giggled as they whispered to each other. The nature spirits were having the time of their lives. Good for them. Still, she had other plans.

From the Aphrodite Cabin, Drew waved to her, moving her lips asking if she was coming. Percy mouthed a "No, visiting mom", to what the daughter of Aphrodite made a pout. "Next one, then?" Percy read on her lips, to what Percy laughed and shrugged.

[adalwolfgang]

helo. how about yandere once-ler/greed-ler x meowscarada reader?

for example, arrange everything in such a way that the reader first helps the Lorax to drive him out of the forest, and then it becomes all the same to her - for why repeat the same thing if the deed is done?

And I beg you PLEASE not in idiotic scenarios like: a yandere dummy killed, kidnapped and raped, but something original from you and what do you think.

I don't care that it will be a one-shot or a headcanon just from you)

I know russian, but I write with google translator lol

Onceler x Meowscarada!Reader head-canons

A/n:I’m sorry for the wait, school is ending soon and I’ve been busy! I use google translate sometimes as well haha! Anyways, since I’m not familiar with Pokémon I had to do some digging to get an idea of how to write you the reader so I hope this is sorta what you wanted and if not please let me know and I’ll try and adjust this!

Warnings: none I can really spot in this except once-ler and greed-ler are the same person. I don’t see the point of making them ‘different’

(Image found on Pinterest, I don’t own it)

This wasn’t what you had in mind when you agreed to help an old friend of yours. The Lorax.

Currently you were sitting by a truffula tree observing as barbaloots pick up this man’s bed and trying fitting in through his door. The Lorax explained his plan to you a day before, how he would put him in the river so he would float away. The Lorax didn’t like this man due to his habit of wanting to chop down all the trees.

The reason you were there was in case anything go out of hand. Like for example the barbaloots couldn’t lift the bed, or the man wakes up? Anything really, that the Lorax needed extra assistance with.

One day later..

The Lorax’s plan didn’t go as well as he thought it would. A young barbaloot was still on the bed as it drifted down stream. Luckily you saved both the barbaloot and the man since the current accidentally pushed them into the rapids where the waterfall was.

After that night of you saving him, the man you now know as ‘once-ler’ kept trying to talk to you. Problem being everytime he tried to make conversation, you would disappear if he just blinked. At first it freaked him out but he soon got used to it and tried to find ways to get you to stay around longer.

The Lorax kept getting frustrated with the once-ler. Even after all his warnings and tricks. Then when he noticed bean-pole trying to make conversation with you, that really made him mad. He didn’t want you falling for this idiots charms and advances so he tried to keep you away from him as much as he could.

Greedler era..

This was bad. Really bad.

The once-ler was losing it with greed. It got so bad to the point where you and the rest of the animals living in the truffula forest started calling him greedler.

You and the Lorax tried warning him but he wouldn’t listen. He even offered you a position. One you couldn’t refuse. Stay by his side.

“How about it? I’m the richest man alive! I’m making millions everyday! I can get you anything you could ever want!”

It scared you how much he changed in such a short time. You missed the old once-ler. But after trying to change his mind for so long, you started giving in.

What was the point? He obviously wasn’t planning on changing his ways anytime soon. All the truffula trees kept lowering in numbers. You felt hopeless in the situation.

After awhile of staying with the once-ler after finally agreeing to his proposition, you stopped trying. There wasn’t no point. It wasn’t as bad though either. He treated you like a goddess. Pampering you with gifts and trying best to his ability to make time for you. Which brings you to your current state.

“Don’t ever leave me. Please..” he would say as he cuddled close to you in bed. He almost sounded like his old self when it was late and you two would be cuddled into each other. Until the sun rose and he had to get back to work that is.

I hope this was close to what you wanted! 🫶

[writingonleaves]

things you never said (things you'll never say to me) - nico hischier

pairing: nico hischier x original female character

warnings: swearing, sadness, angst, not my traditional fluff folks, very little dialogue, kinda a ramble disguised into a piece lol, google translated german, projection?? is that a valid warning

inspired by + title: "things i wish you said" by sabrina carpenter

word count: 2.8k

author's note: got into my feels randomly for this (incredible) song and decided to write something with it. also a part of @wyattjohnston 's lowkey loverfest 2k24!! hope you all enjoy this melancholy ride and please let me know what you think <3

*****

Nico Hischier has always been a leader. 

You ask anyone in Naters or Bern who knew him growing up and they would say the same thing — he’s a polite, young boy with so much talent and a sensible mind. He may be the youngest of three, but everyone’s always turned to Nico for guidance. With a calming voice paired with a warm smile, it’s rare for Nico to steer anyone wrong. 

And he sees it in himself too. Even when he was a rookie, when the C stitched into his jersey was only a blurred dream, he still felt like he had to lead by example. No one was expecting that of him, he knows that now, but he was a first overall pick, the weight of a losing team’s hopes on his shoulders. If he crumbled, those supporters’ hopes fell with him. His own hope would fall with him. 

It took a few years, a pandemic, another first overall pick, a shit ton of roster changes, a new coach and other things to walk into a locker room that wasn’t used to losing. And Nico prides himself as being a leader in that transition. C on his jersey or not, he would’ve done it. Because he doesn’t know how not to.

Leanna always said he didn’t know how to turn it off. 

When Nico had first met Leanna Spritz, it honestly was one of the worst first impressions he’s ever given. It was the morning after a brutal 6-1 loss against the fucking Flyers. The final score itself was bad, but the fact that it was against the Flyers rubbed more salt into the wound. He knew Lindy was gonna bag skate them all to hell and back the morning after and he just really wanted his cappuccino before to take away some of the bitterness. 

All up in his head, he had crashed literally into Leanna. Before they both could comprehend, her cold brew had spilled. Somehow, Nico got away with an unnoticeable splash on his hoodie and no spillage from his own drink. But Leanna wasn’t so lucky. Her brown sweater wasn’t dark enough to hide the fact that half of her cold brew was on it while the other spilled to the ground. 

“Fuck,” Nico had exclaimed, eyes widening and darting between her now coffee stained sweater, the empty cup on the ground and her red hair that only glistened with the sun rays. “Shit! I am so sorry. That’s totally my fault.”

Leanna had waved him away with a small chuckle as she dug into her purse for stray napkins. Far too nice for someone who now had coffee all over them because of him. “It’s okay. Mistakes happen.”

Nico looked at his watch and grimaced. Shit. He was going to be late to practice. And that would be even worse than usual with their horrible performance the night before. “Listen. I really want to buy you a coffee to make up for my clumsiness, but I’m gonna be late to work and-”

Leanna had nodded in understanding, lips quirked up. “Don’t worry about it. Promise. Go. Don’t be late for work.”

He had been so frazzled that all he remembered doing was blurting out another apology before practically running away, partially from embarrassment but also because he really did have to go. 

A week later, Nico went back to the coffee shop. In the back of his mind was the redhead who he still owed a coffee to. But Nico’s also realistic and he knew he’d probably never see her again. 

While he was patiently waiting in the long line, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He braced himself to interact with a fan, but turned around and was pleasantly surprised by who he did see. 

“I thought that was you,” she had said, pink beanie over her hair and a twinkle in her eye. “Not going to spill coffee again on me, are you? I’m wearing white today.”

Nico swallowed before his brain turned back on and he grinned. “Good eye. And no. I promise I’ll be less clumsy today. And I’m less in a rush.” They were next in line to order and he ordered first before turning to her. She had tried to deny him but he just raised an eyebrow until she gave the barista her order. 

“I’m really sorry again,” Nico said as they had shuffled out of line to wait for their drinks. “I hope the sweater didn’t stain.”

Leanna waved him off with her bright smile. “That sweater has been through too much for some coffee to ruin it. You don’t need to worry, Captain.”

Nico had been shocked that she knew who he was, which, in hindsight, is dumb. He’s not Jack, but he gets recognized a good amount around New Jersey still.

He cleared his throat. “Nico is fine.”

She smiled. “Okay, Nico. Well, I’m Leanna. Thank you for paying for my coffee. You didn’t have to, by the way, especially to clear your conscience.”

“That’s not why-well, it is. But I also, uh, are you in a rush?”

Nico remembers that day so well still, his English failing him despite living in North America for over five years as he basically asked Leanna on their first date right there and then. He remembers being thankful that she took some pity on him with her sweet smile and led them to a table. He probably would’ve stood there stuttering like a fool if she didn’t cut in.

“Nico?”

Nico blinks himself out of his memories as Jack walks into his living room. Sometimes he questions if he should’ve given Jack a key. 

“Hey. What’s up?”

“We have skate,” Jack gives him a look. “Dude, take a shower. Quickly. Or we’ll be late.”

“Right,” Nico says, stumbling over to the shower. As the water’s warming up, his eyes stop at a purple bottle tucked in the corner of the sink. Hair oil. Leanna always joked that she couldn’t live without it. His hands twitch to reach for the bottle just so he can smell the grapefruit scent, but he forces himself into the shower instead. 

He can hear Nina’s voice so clearly. Throw it away, she’d say in their mother-tongue that realistically Nico will never not be fluent in but sometimes is scared will slip away. Nina liked Leanna a lot, actually, the one time they met when she came to Jersey to visit last year. But Nina is also Nico’s sister, and cursed her name many times when Nico called her crying, waking her up in the middle of the night. She had stayed on the phone with him for three hours, letting him cry.

He forces himself to take a shower. To wake up a bit and shift his focus to the upcoming skate and game tonight. They’re playing the Rangers, which is just always a grind. He needs to be all in.

Nico keeps to himself while getting ready for practice, putting on his gear quietly while his teammates chatter about something or another around him. He speaks quickly to the equipment team about his skates and smiles in thanks. He catches a whiff of the perfume of their head of PR as she walks past in the hallway, and Nico swallows. 

Realistically, he knows it’s not the same one. But it’s floral and smells like jasmine, so it might as well be. 

As he’s driving home, he has the radio down low. He was never the one to fuss about putting his music on in the car. Because the world just works like that, a song that he doesn’t know the title to comes on. He hums along, because Leanna always played this song.

Instinctively, his fingers twitch to reach out to someone who won’t ever be in his passenger seat ever again. He can hear her voice, her thigh under his palm. It’s not safe to drive with one hand, she’d say with an amused laugh interlaced in her voice. He would always roll his eyes before giving her thigh a squeeze and keeping his hand there for the majority of their journey. 

He remembers that sentence bringing him comfort when they were driving to her sister’s house in upstate New York. He was scared shitless to meet her whole family for the first time to celebrate her cousin’s birthday. It was below freezing point outside, but his hands were so clammy that one would’ve thought it was summer. 

Leanna had put her hand in his hair at the nape of his neck. He had immediately calmed down. 

He swears if he focuses hard enough he can still smell the green tea shampoo Leanna used. It was always interesting to him, because the first thing he would think of when he saw her flaming red hair wasn’t green tea. It deserved something more bold attached to it. Like orange. Or vanilla. Or coconut.

Because Leanna was exactly that. Bold. Bright. Crashing into the lives of everyone in her path with her bright smile, loud laughter and a personality that sucked you in. 

Nico stops at a red light and absentmindedly looks to the right. His breath catches at the sight of a woman walking a beagle. Leanna always said that once she was more settled down, a beagle was the kind of dog she wanted to get, just like the dog she had by her side throughout her whole childhood. 

At one point, Nico had thought she meant settling down in Jersey. Never did she give the indication while they were together that she had meant London. 

He couldn’t force himself to unfollow Leanna on Instagram after the break-up. He catches himself way too often seeing if she still follows him. She does. And she even likes his posts most of the time. He checks.

Nico shouldn’t be surprised. Even though she cried so much when they broke up and he couldn’t handle it, through tears, she wished him nothing but the best. Even as she was actively breaking his heart.

As he pulls into the parking garage for his apartment complex, he kills the engine and just sits there. He should be focusing on the game tonight. Focusing on how they need to stop taking stupid penalties. Focusing on their positioning in the offensive zone. 

You think too much, honey. Leanna would say, kissing his forehead twice, something she started doing to calm him down. You just need to play hockey. Least that’s what you always tell me. Everything else will follow. 

And he would never admit it out loud — especially to Jonas — but he still repeats those words in his head. He’s not sure if it works, but it’s like a mantra. A routine. And hockey players know more than anyone how important routines are and how difficult they are to change. 

It’s been two months and three days. It’s annoying that Nico can still hear her voice in his head, clear as day. He hopes one day he’lll never be able to remember. But he also dreads the day that he’ll forget what she sounds like. 

He walks up into his apartment and pours out a glass of water, downing it in one go. The sun’s out for the first time in two weeks, and a small smile spills on his lips as he admires the sunlight through his glass windows. His eyes shift to a spot on one of the tables by the window on the right, where it seems like something is shining. His curiosity takes over and he walks over, a reminder popping into his brain that he needs to dust his apartment. Why does dust accumulate so quickly anyways? 

His stomach drops. One of her combs placed nonchalantly behind one of his plants. The shine is coming from the light hitting the red hair caught between the bristles. 

What the fuck?

Nico closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before hastily grabbing the comb and tossing it into the trash. She never officially moved in with him, but she was around the apartment enough to leave some things lying around here and there. He thought he had thrown everything out. Or more accurately, he trusted Jesper, Timo and Jack to do it for him during a particularly bad Saturday afternoon two weeks after everything fell to shit. 

He checks the time and sighs. He needs to nap or else everything will be thrown off. Checking his phone to make sure no one needs him, he plugs it in to charge by his bedside, ignoring a text from Nina he’ll answer when he wakes up.

It’s a text she sends a few times a week when she senses that her younger brother’s having a harder day. From almost 4,000 miles, she still knows. Nico’s always loved his sister, but he’s never felt more grateful to have her as he has in these last few months. 

eins zu zehn?? ❤️

One to ten, it translates to. On a scale of one to ten, how shitty or good are you feeling about it today? 

Nico sighs, responds back with a 6, and wills his mind to rest. 

Somehow, he wakes up decently well rested to his alarm. He stays in bed a few extra minutes, getting his mindset ready for gametime. He chooses to wear the gray three piece suit tonight. One of his more fancier fits. It is the Rangers, after all. 

It was Leanna’s favorite suit of his. She always joked he “ruined the look” when he slapped on his beloved white beanie. I love your hair. I wish you’d show it off more, she’d say.

He digs out the beanie from his clean laundry. 

He always leaves an hour or so to himself before he has to go to the rink. He usually spends it tidying up or doing things around his place to clear his head so he can come back after the game and just crash. 

Today, he replays the breakup in his mind. Or what he remembers of it, since he blocked a lot of it out. 

When you picture your future, do you see me in it at all? He had choked out, holding Leanna’s hands in his for what was the last time. 

It hadn’t helped that she had also been crying as she said her next words. Neeks, baby. It’s not you, it’s me. And I hate that I’m pulling that out, but it’s true. Maybe this isn’t the right time for us. 

Why can’t it be? Nico had said. Why can’t we make it work?

Maybe in the future, if things are different. She had said, biting her trembling lip. But even then, Nico knew they were empty promises. She’s too stubborn of a person to not bend the world her way. She just doesn’t want Nico to be a part of that world.

It’s not fair, he knows that realistically, but oftentimes he wonders if she ever loved him at all. That thought especially rode his mind after he saw her post a story on Instagram earlier last week. It was clearly a soft launch, with her hand in the hand of some faceless guy over dinner. Nico ended up scoring two goals that night out of sheer adrenaline and anger. 

Because all he’s ever wanted was for Leanna Spritz to be happy. Even now. Even after all of this. Even if it’s not with him. 

But fuck, she’s clearly moving on. Why can’t he?

He blinks, collapsing on his couch in the living room and staring at the wall. The last time he heard from her was a month ago, when he had gone down after a rough hit during a game against Minnesota. He ended up only being out for the next two games, but the hit hadn’t been pretty. His chest had taken the brunt of the damage. Everyone, including him, had been relieved that it wasn't more serious.

While he was getting checked out by the trainers the next morning, his phone had buzzed and he almost threw up. 

Leanna Spritz✨

I saw the hit last night. Hope you’re okay. Listen to the trainers. 

Nico was angry. What right did she have to text him that? 

But then, he just felt sad. That bottomless pit in his stomach opened up. He felt nothing but emptiness. 

His phone buzzes, this time with a text from Timo, and Nico takes a deep breath. It’s game time. No more crying over his ex-girlfriend. 

As he’s sliding on his beanie in the bathroom, he catches sight of the hair oil again. He picks it up, smells it, before throwing it in the trash. It lands on the bottom of the can with a final thud. He clicks all the lights off, makes sure he has everything he needs, grabs his key off the hook and shuts the door. 

Two hours later, everyone’s getting hyped up. He gives a mini impromptu speech, Jack slaps his back way too hard and Nico smiles, dimples and all.

He takes a deep breath before his blades touch the ice.

[cellarspider]

16/30 Chemically inert

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⛬

We return to a movie whose biggest enemy is its own script, Prometheus. This is the second post today, because the previous one was so awful and I had very little context to add beyond anger.

So, now we come to a scene that made me wonder in the theater: what the fuck is going on with straight people?

A tangent is required at this moment, before we get back to pondering this question. Some of my friends like to watch their favorite science fiction shows with me, particularly if they have to do with genetics. Orphan Black, for example. This is because it is understood that I will regularly call out “Pause!”, and then they get to sit and listen to me alternatively praise or sputter over the fictionalization of my field of study. 

“Look. Their genetic material pre-dates ours. We come from them.”

Pause!

This is, probably, meant to hammer in the premise of the movie to a lay audience. However, the way she phrased it left me confused for a good long minute, trying to figure out what the fuck she meant. We don’t speak of any extant species as “pre-dating” another, even if they look exactly like their fossilized ancestors: all modern organisms are modern organisms. They have been continuously evolving the whole time they’ve existed. What we talk about is species diverging from each other. We didn't come from chimpanzees, or from neanderthals for that matter: we diverged from them.

(https://news.wisc.edu/naledi/) 

If I were to try and explain what she actually means by this: The particular Engineer they sampled from possess genetic sequences that are present in our evolutionary precursors, but have been lost in humans. That, and/or the Engineer possesses no sequences that are specific to modern Homo sapiens. 

To which my response is: no shit. They’re eight foot tall, completely hairless humanoids, surrounded by advanced technology. This is not Futurama.

This still doesn’t answer all my other logistical problems with when they got involved on Earth, which I already rambled about at length. 

But now we get to the real mystery of the scene: why are straight people?

I’m asexual as a rock. No, not that rock. But I’m not sex-repulsed. Sexual media and art is fine by me, but Hollywood does such a shit job with romantic chemistry that I thought I was for quite a while.

Shaw and Holloway are a couple. We know this, because they are a pair of female and male adult humans who work together in a movie. They have held hands and smiled at each other. Honestly, if Holloway hadn’t called Shaw “baby” soon after they woke up from stasis, I wouldn’t have known. 

Admittedly, this may be due to the fact that my “flirting or not” radar is hilariously non-functional most of the time. I have been on dates before without realizing it. Multiple times. It’s that bad.

This is the scene where we are supposed to see how they are romantic together, and how they grapple with their present situation. Holloway froze a rose in the cargo, along with a bottle of champagne. The fact that he has already been drinking heavily will surely make this especially fun, I’m sure.

Shaw, at least, acknowledges “[t]his is The most significant discovery in the history of mankind,” though I’d argue whichever early hominin first saw the big bald bastards already called dibs on that. I appreciate the gesture toward understanding the enormity of this situation, but her behavior hasn’t demonstrated it so far. Holloway’s, however, is even worse, and I think we are supposed to take Shaw as the more staid and reasonable one because of this.

With this and her further evidence that the Engineers made humans, Holloway immediately says “Okay. I guess you can take your father's cross off now.”

Yes. This is what you should say, when you’re in a long-term relationship with a religiously devout person who lost one or both of their parents at a young age. Definitely.

I get what this is trying to do, thematically. This movie is about the creation of life. We have a religious character squaring her faith with a piece of information that is incompatible with the literal text of her religion’s doctrine. 

Funny enough, we have a lot of religious people who work in biology already. Unless your religion was created last tuesday, there is literally no way it won’t contradict with some aspect of what modern science has discovered. People create the mental space for the supernatural, either merging or separating it from their field of expertise. Or they may not believe in the supernatural at all, instead subscribing to belief systems that provide an ethical and behavioral framework for their lives. 

A lot of scientists who are religious state that their religion is part of why they study the material world: Out of a love for the world, a call to aid others, or because the act of learning is seen as divine in itself.

This is also the kind of conversation that, frankly, two lunatics who believe in ancient alien contact with Earth should’ve had a long time ago. ‘Hey, you believe that big men from space were talking to the Sumerians, how’s that fit in with the whole Christianity thing for you?’

But no, he’s going somewhere hilariously baffling, via a direct route through the state of Wildly Insensitive as he barrels along the Clunky Dialog Highway.

“But here's what we do know: That there is nothing special about the creation of life. Right? Anybody can do it. All you need is a dash of DNA and half a brain, right?”

“I can't. 

I can't create life. What does that say about me?”

He FORGOT HIS LIFE PARTNER WAS INFERTILE.

“Ellie, that's not... I didn't mean… I wasn't talking about…”

Have you ever been so drunk that you made your girlfriend feel like Natasha ‘I’m a monster comparable to the Hulk because I was sterilized’ Romanoff in Age of Ultron

This is, as with most of the most thunderously clunky dialog in this movie, a plot point. There are ways they could’ve done this differently that I will get to at that time

But you know what’s even more baffling about this? Apparently that didn’t kill the mood.

It makes the next scene where Janek seduces Vickers with a jumpscare accordion and “Are you a robot?” almost make sense.

Or, frankly, Idris Elba and Charlize Theron are acting wizards who somehow managed to strangle some chemistry out of that scene.

Next time, the not-so-little death!

⛬ 

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Citations for alt-text rambles:

https://archive.org/details/abbott-and-costello-meet-the-mummy 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Nepenthes_cultivars 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecce_Homo_(Garc%C3%ADa_Mart%C3%ADnez_and_Gim%C3%A9nez)#Failed_restoration_attempt_and_internet_phenomenon 

https://youtu.be/cZyj6GECjZ0 

https://youtu.be/nRr1t80TayE 

http://www.totheescapehatch.com/2012/06/escape-by-playing-stephen-stills.html 

https://www.discogs.com/artist/236968-Stephen-Stills 

Overflow Ramble 1 

I want it noted at the start here: I try to use screenshots where everyone looks as dignified as they can without losing objects or gestures I want to comment on, because otherwise it breaks flow. I could not find a screenshot where Shaw wasn’t stickin h leggy out real far, or making this extremely weird face. I tried. The movie defeated me.

Medium wide shot of Shaw sitting on a couch (loose pillows that don’t have velcro surfaces to keep them in place if the ship rolls), with Holloway in reverse shot, sitting on the other side of a coffee table (no lip to catch rolling objects), with a rose sitting in a cup between them. Shaw is about to stand up, and has just the most goddamn weird expression on her face. 

In the background is a side table (does have a lip, not tall enough to do anything), with a lamp (might be magnetized/gripped to the surface, doesn’t look it), a pile of books (falling hazard), a stick of incense burning in a cup (falling AND fire hazard), and, as previously noted during Vickers’ introduction, there’s the required Cultured White Person African Art Pieces just sort of. Leaned on a tiny little shelf in the background (how have they not fallen over already). Finally, a tropical hanging pitcher plant can be seen hanging behind the lamp, probably a Nepenthes cultivar. Did David keep these alive for two years? 

There is a bewildering buttload of Nepenthes cultivars, with an active enthusiast community in Japan. So, SO many of the cultivars are called ‘[Adjective] Koto’ (cite 2). Like, to the point where someone was clearly breaking out the dictionary to find more words for Koto. Decorous Koto. Effulgent Koto. Effulgent Koto again, there’s two of them. Elfine Koto. Emotional Koto. Felicitous Koto. Feminine Koto. Feverish Koto. Igneous Koto. Immobile Koto. And that’s as far as the Kotos go, apart from Zonal Koto. Somebody in 1984-1994 was literally going A-Z on Kotos before they suddenly stopped at I, turned around, and went back up to throw in Gerontic Koto and Ferny Koto.

⛬ 

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⛬

[bloodandthestars]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓

priest!suguru geto x fem!reader. a part of JUDAS, a kinktober drabble series. (mdni)

tw: mention of child neglect, mention of cheating. religious turmoil :: a/n: will say that I’m sick atm so not edited rn + the prayer at the end is an example used from a pastor guidance website cause I thought it was fitting LMAO

wc: 1.7k :: masterlist :: previous part

TOSS YOUR DIRTY SHOES.

Sunday is meaningful to Suguru in a lot of ways. It was symbol of rebirth, to fill the coming days with righteous purpose and do it all over again. Sunday was the days the congregation would gather in the echoey church, sit in their pews, and listen to the scriptures to praise their one and only God.

Placing new Bibles onto the pew shelves, Suguru was surprised to find someone in the confessional one Sunday. A guy about his height, glasses, lean— seemed on the shyer side.

“Father?”

“Yes?”

“…I-I was wondering if…if I could give a confession?”

He chuckles. “You’re inside the booth, there’s no need to ask.”

“Oh..right, right.”

“Go on.”

There’s a long beat of silence, but Suguru didn’t mind it. He waits patiently for the churchgoer to find the words he needs to say. In adjusting his religious attire, the man on the other side spoke. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. My brother and I are at school studying for A-levels. I…I’ve had to ignore the plight of my brother for a long time.”

“And why is that?”

“He…he was getting bullied. And I didn’t know how to stop it. I didn’t know how to stand up to justices that would suit the Lord. I was a coward. I am a coward.”

Suguru presses his lips together. “And your brother is..? You’re saying ‘was’.”

“Well, that’s the thing. I acted the best way I knew how but…it wasn’t the right way. I…I was waiting for him at the bus stop, and-and I see them coming down the corner chasing him. It made me so mad, Father. They wanted to follow him everywhere! The bus was starting so slow down and make a stop. I…I got on the steps, making sure my brother made a straight B line for the door. As soon as he did I heard all this yelling behind me. Next thing I know I…I..”

“Mhm?”

“…I socked one guy right in the nose. Then the doors closed and w-we got out of there.”

The pastor takes pause. “When was your last confession, son?”

“Uh…”

“Did your mother send you here?”

“…Maybe..”

His pressed lips hid an amused exhale. Suguru shakes his head, crossing his arms. “You were standing up to bad people.” That’s how he starts it off, genuine with his tone, but it falls flat as he goes into the words he was supposed to say. “Yet violence is never the answer. God will understand that you had the best of intentions, so as long as you’re learned from your sin.”

Sin? He’s just a teenager, young adult at best.

The guy sees to switch his tone to eagerness. “Oh I have, Father. I most certainly have. I really don’t want to go to Hell because of this! Please forgive me, let God forgive me-“

“Shh, it’s alright.” Suguru says in a low voice. “Next time, you know that you must act brave and alert your authority figures. To protect you and your brother from harm.”

“I will.”

“Good, please bow your head in prayer.”

The boy leaves after with a sigh he can still hear from inside the booth. Suguru exhales again, shutting his eyes as he was reminded of his younger days. He had never gotten into situations where he was the victim, nor the bully. Him and his best friend wouldn’t allow the other to become either of those things. They were on top of each other, because they were going to take on the world. He snaps his eyes open, cutting off anymore memories from appearing.

The door opens and closes again on a Tuesday afternoon. Someone gets themselves situated on the other side. “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It is 8 months since my last confession.”

Suguru keeps his focus on the voice as they continue. “I am an aunt to the most— difficult child. My daughter was the sweetest thing when she was born. With this one, it feels like- the pits of Hell have opened up and created a demon just for my torture!”

The pastor’s brows scrunch together.

“I would never do ill to a child, I love all the darlings in the daycare that we have in this very church. But that one, someone needed to *show her* what authority was.” A pause. “I acted against what the Father would have wanted, but I was blinded by the Devil. Blinded by…rage.”

“What…did you do?”

“Tantrum after tantrum, kicking me, screaming my ears off, I had no choice but to place her in her room and…lock the door. I refused her dinner. She didn’t get anything for the rest of the night she was given to me.”

His eyes then slowly widen at her voice. Mrs. Kasaki?

The older woman huffs, causing him to snap back into reality. Even then he was to blink a few times to regain full consciousness. His lips part to find words but they were coming up with hints of bile that accompanyed the slow churning of his stomach. He swallows hard. “You should never act onto blood as you’ve done. To repent, you must tell the parent of your wrongdoings. Confess to them as you’ve done to me.”

“But, Father-“

“This is not a suggestion if you wish for your blood to remain pure. For you to…” His voice grows sour. “…begin again.”

A silence. “…Yes. Yes, Father I will do that. For the glory of his name, to sanctify.”

It releases a bit of tension in his jaw but not all of it. He has no choice. “Bow your head.”

IN MY WASHING MACHINE HEART.

“Father-“

“Father-“

“Father, forgive me, for-“

“-for I have sinned, disposed to the workings of the devil-“

“-I was lost, without faith and guidance-“

“-I’ve done terrible, terrible acts-“

“-I am need of your repentance.”

They cycle through like the seasons, constantly changing but always there. Days, weeks, it felt like routine. All for it drowning into a static that grew louder and louder in his ears. His eyes were distant in the booth, looking beyond the tiny holes of the decorum, past the church’s walls, and all the way out of the town. He wasn’t here, couldn’t listen to another faintly bad thought, another tainted mind, another corrupt member of his community he’d have to look in the eye and act as though he didn’t hear a thing. Hearing so many problems and sins, he was just one person. And yet they’ve poured and poured and poured, drowning him until it consumed him whole.

BABY, BANG IT UP INSIDE.

“Father, forgive me for my transgressions. It has been 5 months since my last visit.”

“You were here two weeks ago.” Suguru stated with little interest.

“Oh…was I? My apologies, Father. Back to the subject at hand-” The pastor leans his elbow against the slim wall’s trim.

“It’s about my marriage. It feels as though it’s falling apart.” You said that last time. “Before the slip up was over and done with, you know? But Gina and I were done after the motel, I went back to Willow no problem. But she’s been treating me like a dog in a doghouse and…I have needs, you know? And Father,” The man groans. “The ways in which Gina strikes me with temptation-“

Suguru’s mind trailed off, trailed off to you. Thinking on what he’s done. Lighting your smoke. His eyes shut.

He pulls away once the cigarette is properly lit. “Need anymore assistance?”

You chuckle, tapping the ash of its end. “Nothing that a priest should help with.”

You were so close, and so was he to get lost in temptation— a mere breath away. He felt your breath on his face, the way it hitched at what he did. How he *liked* hearing the sound. If he had taken any steps closer, your chests would have bumped, your noses would have grazed one another, your lips-

The pastor opens his eyes. Mere gazes? Troubled thoughts? Flirtation? How could that ever compare to the people he’s had to purify? The abstinence still held true, whose to say it won’t be if you both remain that way?

Suguru hears the man come back into the foreground of his focus once he finished up. The pastor sighs, punching the bridge of his nose. “You've been here before, and that is awfully troubling. This cycle must stop. If you’re ever to see Heaven and the Father, you have to be honest with your wife— honest with yourself. Enact in a prayer everyday to realize that your deplorable actions are sins that will get you nowhere. Spend your time serving others rather than yourself.”

“Yes, Father.”

A beat goes by. “…This is the part where you ask for forgiveness.”

“Oh— I am more than undeserving of forgiveness, but I am in need of repentance. How can I go on?”

Bearable. Insignificant.

“Bow your head.” The two do so. “Father, thank You that his sins can be forgiven through our Lord. Thank You for Your promise to put his sins behind Your back, to bury them in the depth of the sea, and to remove them from us as far as the east is from the west. Let the blood of Jesus cleanse him from every sin he prays.”

“Amen.” The men say in unison. The confessor springs from the seat, out of the door. Suguru catches the church doors opening and closing with an echoing boom. He sets his head into his hands, fingers in his dark hair. They tighten around fistfuls of it, so close to screaming. Even if he did, even if his vocal cords snapped from the mere force he’d belt out, he was sure that no one would hear a sound.

tags: @getousrep @indiecursor (thank you sm for the sweet reblog, literally made me so happy. I would literally love to read your dissertation)