#youll see a tag every now and then that says

[destructionsys]

btw if we ever post anything discourse-y (unlikely) we usually will not want to elaborate further (unless its in tags) because we think the post explains itself.

we are willing to have open and civil discussions over asks (even anons) and via dm but we like to keep our views on tumblr discourse as “if you look hard enough, it’s there”

and i shouldnt have to say this but this applies to discourse on this fucking john green cock copypasta site, not real world issues.

-cal

[lemongogo]

sry i dont know what 2 draw anymore T_T . elendira portrait #999

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"

stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office

[pkmoth]

having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself

[todayisafridaynight]

taking a coin out and opening clip today like 'oh boy who am i going to project onto today ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶'

[nezukoo-channn]

— sinta ko (Zayne x F! Reader)

Tags: Non-MC F!Reader x Zayne, Reader isn’t MC, Reader is addressed w female pronouns (she/her), Spanish colonial AU! Not historically accurate , romance, pinning, domestic moments, possibly OOC Zayne and Caleb , there are translations (not exactly word by word but I translated it based on what's the most accurate thought behind it, it's italicized beside or after the dialogue) , fluff, so much pinning and longing, teasing and banter, different social classes, they haven't seen each other in years let them fall in love again, childhood friends to people who havent seen each other in years to lovers, childhood friends to lovers, established relationship at the end, courtship, theyre falling in love awwwww, zayne sings for youuuu and you sing back and and *sniffles*

TW: slight blood and injuries (in one scene), cussing (just once), and discrimination between social classes

A/N: part 2 of giliw ko! Thank you so much for waiting for part 2 (i know that i said ill post it soon but i didnt expect soon will be THIS long, had to settle some personal things in my life, deal with grief and stuff) but i hope youll like part 2 and that it wont disappoint you guys thank you so much for supporting giliw ko and sinta ko, i hope to be more comfortable in writing and publishing more fics one day.

Taglist: @sapphic-daze, @deusfoundry, @roseapov, @knorreine

Divider: @saradika-graphics

You don't remember the last time you saw Zayne.

Well, you could remember seeing him, but you don't remember when exactly was the last time you saw him. Was it months? Years? Decades?

Everyday felt ordinary. You wake up before dawn to tend to your mother and her weakening health. You and your father helped her up, allowing her to sit down to watch the sunrise.  

You prepared breakfast next, making sure your parents had something to eat before you left for work today,  which was selling products you and your father grew in your own garden at the back of the house at the marketplace. You dusted up your skirts, tied your hair up and grabbed the basket before saying goodbye to your parents and walking out of the door.  

You headed up to your usual area, amongst the other women, young and old , selling the same produce as you. You raised your voice,  loud and clear to call out to potential customers. People passed your way, some dropping by to purchase a vegetable or two , others tried to bargain with you about prices established, and the rest passed along. You didn't mind. Customers were customers; they were yours sometimes, and other times, they weren't. 

During the midday, You found a spot for yourself to have lunch before returning back to work. You did the same thing , trying to get your stock sold out and yet, like every other day, it wasn't. You sigh, glancing at the last few bits of onions and garlic.

As the day ends, you return home, clutching your basket close. When you open the door, your mother greets you. She was a slim woman, her bones seemed to poke through her thin skin and dull eyes. You set the basket aside and hugged her.

“Magandang gabi, ma.” You greeted, “Kumusta po tayo?”  Goodevening, mom. How are you?

Your mother, despite her illness , gave a sweet smile.  “Maayos naman, ija. Sabi ko sa iyo na wag na magtrabaho. Kaya pa man namin ng ama mo.” I am well, my child but didn't I tell you to stop working? Your father and I can still do it.

She gently chimed. You smiled, shaking your head as you placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“Nay,” You say softly, “May sakit ka po, diba? Hayaan mo na kami ni tatay mag-alaga sa iyo…” Mom, you're sick, remember? Let dad and I take care of you...

Your mother sighs. “Parehas talaga kayo ng tatay mo, no?” She laughs before shaking her head, “Kain na tayo? Hinihintay ka na ng tatay mo…”  You're really like your father, no? Oh come on now, let's eat dinner. I'm sure your father has been waiting for you.

You held your mother's hand, heading to the small dining room to eat together as a family.

Dinner was quiet, say for the occasional coughs from your mother and the mumbles of your father as he tries to make her drink water. And just like that, dinner was complete and then fell into a comfortable silence as you prepared to sleep. 

It was a life, yes, but a mundane everyday one.

A life you memorized and lived through autopilot countless times.

With the season getting colder, your mother's illness worsens to the point of her being unable to stand or leave the bed.

That gave you a reason to work even harder.

You found a bunch of other jobs — laundry maid, cooking maid, babysitting children of the elite, etc. Just to earn enough money to help your mother find a doctor or anyone willing to heal her.

“May kilala ka bang doktor, Señora?” Do you know a doctor, madame? You asked your mistress. She was a newer one to town, having married some impressionable bachelor.

She scoffs, “At bakit ka ba nagtatanong? Hindi naman parte ng trabaho mo magkasakit.” And why are you asking? It isn't part of your job to get sick.

You grit your teeth. There were really people like them, no? Just because they had more privilege or paler skin meant that they could look down upon others. You shook your head, “Para po sa ina ko, señora.” Its for my mother, madame. You reasoned. 

“Ano ba ang pakialam ko sa ina mo? ”And why should I care about your mother? She scoffs. 

You nearly dropped whatever you were holding, planning to aim at her, but that said, if she gets hurt, you'd be imprisoned and it will be more difficult for your family. You remained quiet, finishing up instead before leaving for the day. 

As you walk the path back home, a familiar silhouette stands beside you. You looked to your side and raised your hand to defend yourself, but it was caught between theirs. You glance up, knowing that cheeky smile wherever You go. 

It was Caleb.

“Gago ka!” Fuck! You say in shock, your hand fishing it's way out of his hold your hit his shoulder playfully. “Ikaw ha! Bakit mo iyan ginawa?” What was that for? 

He laughs. “At bakit ka naman galit? Di lang tayo nagkita ng ilang buwan at tapos, magpapa-sungti ka?" And why are you angry? We haven't seen each other for a few months and now you're acting all mean?

He teases, ruffling your hair. You hit him again playfully. 

“At bakit ka dito?” Why are you here? You asked. 

“Bakit? Bawal ba?” Why? Am I not allowed here? He retorts.

You sighed. 

“Hindi naman…” Not really You answered, dusting your skirt. “Uuwi na ako kinana Nanay At Tatay. Malubha ang sakit ni Nanay… Naghahanap ako ng doktor, O baka naman mangagagmot— kahit sino na lang.” I'm heading back home. Mom isn't feeling well and I'm trying to find a doctor, or maybe a healer--or just anyone who can help, really. You confined to him as you walked back home together.

Caleb wasn't present around the barrio nowadays, having gone to Manila to serve for the Guardia Civil , the Spanish police that her empire placed over her constituents to keep them in place.

“Alam mo, may kilala akong doktor.”I know a doctor. Caleb says , moments before reaching home. You glanced at his direction, eyes brimming with possible hope that it'll be a good doctor,  one that can save your mother's health and wouldn't dismiss her like others. 

“Saan?”Where? You ask immediately,  “Sino?” Who?

He smiles, getting a piece of paper inside his trousers and hands it to you , pressing his hands against yours. You stared in confusion,  tilting your head as you mumbled quickly before stepping inside. 

Dinner was the usual, but with the added bonus of Caleb being there and entertaining your parents with his various experiences .  You nod along, listening to him talk on and on as you can't help but wonder what a life beyond the comforts of a province would be like. What Maynila was truly like for yourself. 

As the night comes to an end, you escorted Caleb out of the house, a complete opposite from what a woman would do. He pouts playfully, trying to object to your behavior but you laugh along, dragging him out of the house as he says a goodbye to your parents.

And life continued on. 

It took a while to convince your mother that she should see a doctor, and not either a manggagamot or an albularyo. You practically dragged her to the place, making sure to hold her hand tightly so that she wouldn't get lost.

You paused, stopping at the gates of the familiar building.

It was Zayne’s old home. The same old home you met him with. The same old home where your mother and father and grandparents all worked. The same old home that held so many memories— it feels too good to be true to stand face to face with it.

But here you are. Standing in front of the familiar gates.

Getting inside was fairly simple, but the lines and amount of people were so many you probably wondered if the thing Caleb mentioned has any semblance of truth at all. You made sure your mother was seated and weaved yourself through the small crowd of people like the sea that washes upon the shore of everyday life— you memorized this place, but felt alien towards it. You walked over to the woman sitting down with piles of papers, perhaps that's the secretary of the Doctor. She glances up and smiles,

“Bago ka ba dito?” Are you new here? She asks. You nod. She gets a piece of paper and a pen and begins asking for information about you.

You immediately shake your head,

“Parang hindi tayo nagkakaintindihan. Hindi po ako yung may sakit, yung ina ko po.” I think there's a misunderstanding. Im not the one who's ill, but my mother.

You explained. She laughs and corrects herself before proceeding with the same thing all over again, this time with your mother's information instead of yours.

Waiting took even longer. There were plenty of people, young and old, men and women, the rich and the poor waiting patiently for their names to be called by the secretary. It was something new for you. You haven't been to the doctor's before, having trusted and used local medicines and believed to rid you of your illnesses as a child and teenager, the same thing your parents had used to because it was cheaper than a doctor and was more known in the barrio.

You glanced around. The familiar wooden walls had stood tall, photos of the family lined their walls as generations of men and women watched people come in and out of their home, hoping for a better solution to their ailments. Time ticks slowly as the sun rises higher into the sky And begins its descent . Your eyes were starting to get heavy, your mother leaning against you for a moment's rest.

Hearing your mother's name get called was like a bell that breaks the silence of night. You nudge her awake. “Nay,” Mom, You say softly, trying to wake her, “Tayo na. Tinawag na tayo.” Let's go. Your name was being called.

She mutters something in response before you help her up and lead her towards the room.

You had been inside this room before. The old smell of books and wood was replaced with ammonia and sterile supplies. You take a step, your mother following behind you as you face the presumed doctor.

Zayne.

He glanced down for a moment, reviewing the patient information given to him by the secretary beforehand. You couldn't help but stare at realizing you knew each other before. He was still handsome, yes, with soft and cold eyes, his hair short and kept nicely.

“Nay, si Zayne po ito.” Mom, its me, Zayne.

He says to your mother, his voice soft and modulated. Your mother's eyes lit up. “Ijo? Ikaw ba ‘yan , ijo ko?” My dear? Is that you, my dear?

He nods. “Opo, ang ijo inaalagaan mo noong una po," Yes, I'm the boy you took care of before.

He grabs his stethoscope, “At ngayon po, Nay, ako naman po ang maaalaga sa iyo.” And now, mom, I'll be the one who'll be taking care of you.

You watched as Zayne proceeded with his routine, A new sight from the boy you once knew. His hands were gentle, his voice firm and clear as he ran through several tests and asked your mother questions related to her health.

Minutes passed by as Zayne explained what was happening to you and your mother. He was direct, telling her she was ill but didn't crush the hopes of her making a recovery. He gets a piece of paper, scribbling down a few words before handing them to you. He gives a few more reminders, making sure your mother can take her medicines, not overwork herself , make sure she's rested well, and to return next week to get an update on her health.

You smiled, saying your thanks to Zayne before looking away, your eyes darting around as you tapped your feet. Zayne and your mother continued to talk, catching up with the years that passed.

“Ang laki laki mo na , ijo.” You're so big now, my dear. Your mother coos, squishing his cheek with her wrinkled fingers, “Naalala ko noong una—” I remember when —

Zayne chuckled nervously , looking away as he places her hand far from his cheeks. “Alam ko po.” I know, He says softly, “Hindi mo na kailangan sabihin.” You don't need to say.

Your mother scoffs playfully, making you groan from annoyance. The last thing you wanted to hear is an embarrassing story from your childhood or Zayne’s. She laughs, recalling how you'd always play together or how when Zayne was a little baby, he would always follow her or his own mother around like a little puppy. You laugh, imagining him just as your mother described in her story. Zayne stands there, covering his reddening face with his white coat, his eyes glancing elsewhere. He silently hopes that this will all end soon.

“Nay,” Mom, You say, placing a hand on her shoulder. You glance at Zayne, seemingly saying that you had this under your control. “Sa susunod na naman tayo mag-usap kay Doktor Zayne, Nay. Baka may gagawin pa siya.” We can talk to Doctor Zayne next time. Maybe he still has things to do.

“Bibisita ka ba sa amin ba, ijo?” Will you visit us , dear? She asks Zayne with hopeful eyes.

“Hindi pa ko maka-siguro po, Nay.” I'm not so sure, Mom. He answers, “Pero kung may oras ako, bibisita ako. Sa parehas lugar kung saan kayo nakatira noong una po?” But if I have the time, I'll visit. Its in the same place as before, no?

Your mother nods. “Aba, naalala mo pa, ijo? Kung hindi kayo sa bahay, diyan kayo palagi nina Caleb at Y/N. Palagi kayo naglalaro noong una. Naalala ko-” Ah, so you do remember, dear? If you weren't at home, you would always be at ours with Caleb and Y/N. You three always played together and I remember—

“At naalala ko na nag-aalala na si Tatay sa bahay.” And I remember that Dad is worried at home. You chimed in softly, grabbing her hand as you thanked Zayne once more and left the office. Zayne smiles to himself, waving goodbye as the door closes and leaves him alone with his thoughts.

You were always at Zayne’s more often as your mother recovers from her illness.

It was a slow and gradual process, yes, but you couldn't help but be proud, seeing your mother slowly feel better and get back on her feet. True to his words, Zayne visits more often. He brings his medical equipment in a bag and walks up to your door and like clockwork, you’d open the door to greet him hello before bringing him to your mother.

Your mother’s eyes always lit up when she hears his footsteps and his familiar voice. She loved him like he was her child, having raised him all those years ago.

“May kasintahan ka na ba, ijo?” Do you have a partner, dear? She asked one time, catching him off-guard. He looked away for a moment, his face turning red as he shook his head.

“May babae bang nagpapatibok ng puso mo?” Is there a woman who makes your heart race? She asked next.

His ears turned red as he continued to look away.

“Parang wala pa po, Nay. Hindi ko rin alam kung pareho ang nararamdaman niya sa akin…” There seems to be no one yet, Mom.I'm not sure if the person feels the same.

You laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. This was Doctor Zayne, and you were sure that so many women had already swooned over his feet and had tried to melt away at his cold and aloof expression, but you digressed.

“Hay nako, Zayne. Ikaw pa? Walang kasintahan? At akala ko sa Maynila o sa Europa ka pa makakahanap ng babae na magmamahal sa iyo?” Really, Zayne? You? Without a partner? And I thought you would find someone from Manila or Europe who will love you. You teased, nudging his side, “O bake plano mo maging isang matandang binata?" Or do you plan on being an umarried bachelor?

Zayne laughs, turning his attention towards you.

“Hindi naman.”Not really, He says, “May taong nagpapatibok ng puso ko pero…” There is someone who makes my heart race however...

“Pero?” However?

“Pabayaan mo na.” Nevermind. He waves his hand dismissively. You pouted at his words, playfully hitting his shoulder, and sticking your tongue out in his direction. Zayne sighs, seeing your petulant expression.

“Tumahimik ka nga?” Can you keep quiet? He says, “Nagtatrabaho ako.” I'm working.

Your heart skipped a small beat. Was it the way he talked? The way his hands handled taking care of your mother? Or was it because it was Zayne? Zayne, the childhood friend you grew up with throughout all those years, whose face and expression never changed, his voice still modulated and poised just like how you’d always remember it. You shake your head. Now that kind of nonsense is something you don’t agree on, especially about you.

His checkup continues as he does an assessment of your mother’s current condition. Every answer she gave, he had written down and documented properly. Before he left, he presented them with fruits in a basket and money he had stuffed in his pockets.

“Alam ko na hindi ito magrabo pero sana po makatuklong diin sa iyo ito.”I know this isn't extravagant but I hope it will help. He offers.

“Ang sobra naman mo, Zayne. Hindi mo naman kailangan ito gawin .” Oh Zayne, you're too much. You don't need to do this. You say, your face red and eyes widen from the action he had done. He presses the basket of fruits closer to you.

“Tanggapin mo na.” Accept it. He insists. After another back and forth between you both, you resigned your fate and nodded in thanks, taking the basket into your arms. Zayne flashes a subtle smile before packing his materials and leaving out of the door.

This continues on for weeks more, even spanning months–close to a year even as your mother’s recovery was a slow and gradual process. She can move around more often and for longer without the need to catch her breath. She can clean up around the house, much to your father’s insistence of helping.

Whenever you visited Zayne in his clinic with your mother, you would bring a fresh basket of fruits and vegetables that you sell as a thank you to him. He would gladly accept it, claiming that you and your mother were planning to stuff him with food. You both laugh and shake your heads at his words.

When Zayne visits the marketplace to find goods, he’d look around, seeing the same things and products sold. The only difference was the person selling. He would look around, trying to spot you from amongst the crowd of voices. He would buy the vegetables he needed before paying and leaving to go to a different stall. There were times that you two bantered over prices of your products, as Zayne would explain the concepts of business to you. In response, you would shake your head and grumble about how he doesn’t really know a thing about how to really sell stuff to individuals.

He followed every rule of the book and conduct of society, and yet, here you are, holding a basket of fresh produce from the garden your family has, your face kissed by the sun with your hair tied up with your smile gracing your lips.

The same smile that had slowly melted through his exteriors once more and will continue to do so until the very end perhaps. The same smile that had caused his heart to skip a beat when he saw her again. The smile that got him going through medical school, the only thing he imagined him to greet her. Sometimes, he wonders if he should’ve stayed behind as a child to see her smile even more, but he didn’t regret leaving for Manila to study medicine, he didn’t regret going to Europe to learn even more. At least, not completely.

The only thing he ever regretted about leaving home was that he didn’t bring her and her smile with him.

Now that he is back, he only hopes to see it even more.

You missed him. That wasn’t a lie.

Of course you did, he was still your childhood friend and companion until he left to study. You had spent your whole teenage years wondering when he’ll be back and whether things will be the same when he returns–would he even remember who you were?

But seeing his face, his bright eyes that seemed to shift colors when the sunlight hit in different angles, his large and strong hands holding onto the basket of produce he bought from you, you realized that he hasn’t forgotten you, not one single bit at all.

Your mother noticed the way your face turned red at the mention of Zayne's name, your father noticed the small smile that graced your lips when you tried to hide your blushing face beneath your hand. Caleb had teased you both relentlessly about it, nudging Zayne by the shoulder everytime you three were together once more. It was as if you were kids once again, just much older than the ages you were before. And instead of playing together, you did errands together, with them being your most frequent customers. Your other friends had teased you as well, nudging and making noises you’d glare at them for.

And the worst of all, you noticed the way Zayne acted around you.

It was a subtle change, but one you noticed and took attention too. He was at your home more often, even staying for dinner with your parents. He’d laugh at old stories your father recalls about you that you wished he’d quiet about. He looked at you more often, his head resting against his chin as he watched you go on and on about today, or yesterday, or any other day. And once dinner was done and everything slowed down, he seemed hesitant to leave but always kissed your hand and said his goodbye. You kept a straight-face most of the time, but there was no denying of the red gracing your cheeks.

There was a time he was talking to your parents. You were in the kitchen, washing the dishes as their hushed voices talked. There was a gut feeling inside your chest, telling you to listen in. Holding a wet plate in your hand, you pressed your ear closer to the wall, curious on what he’s about to say next.

“Magtatanong ako kung bibigayan niyo ba ako ng pahintulot para ligawin si Y/N.” I want to ask your permission to court Y/N. Zayne says, his voice muffled by the barrier se separating the kitchen and living room.

There was a brief silence before he continued, “Hindi ako makakasabi na ako ay isang perpektong tao pero pinapangako ko na mamahalin ko siya ng buong puso.” I can't say that I'm perfect, but I promise to love her with my whole heart.

“Ang anak ba namin ang dahilan bakit tumitibok ang puso mo, ijo?” Is our child the reason why your heart races, dear? Your mother asks.

Another brief silence passes before he nods. “Opo, pero maliban po sa ganyan. Siya ang dahilan na bakit ako nabubuhay, kung bakit ako gumigising sa umaga at natutulog sa gabi. Sa totoo, parang hindi ko na kayang itago ang aking nararamdaman sa kanya. Kung pwede po sa inyo, gusto ko siya ligawin.” Yes, but she's more than that. She's the reason why I'm alive, why I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night. In honesty, I don't think I can hide my feelings for her any longer, so please, give me the permission to court her.

Your heart freezes in your chest, skipping a beat. Your hand slips, causing the plate to fall down with a loud crash. You quickly knelt over, gathering the larger pieces, and accidentally drawing blood. Your eyes widened in a panic as you scrambled up and got cleaning supplies to fix the mess your nosiness made.

As you clean up, a silhouette looms over you, his hand touching your shoulder as he peers beyond and sees your bloody hand and broken shards.

“Ano ba nangyari rito?” What happened here? Zayne’s voice breaks the silence in the room. “Patingin nga.” Let me see.

You let out your bloody hand to him. He glances around it, careful and precise in his touch to ensure that there will be no further injuries. He helps you sit down, finding clean cloths and water.

“Wag kang gagalaw.” Don't move. He instructs. You nodded and tried your best to stay still. He begins to clean the wound with water and soap before leaving for a moment to get his first aid kit that he brought everywhere with him, especially during visiting patients. He cleans your hands with antiseptic, his hands firm and kind. Perhaps this was why he was a well-sought out doctor. The way he treated and helped nursed his patients back to health, his firm and unwavering dedication didn’t stem from ethics alone, but was grounded in a genuine love and care for the people he spends his whole life serving and taking care of.

You wince, trying to take your hand away but he holds on.

“Diba sinabi ko wag kang gagalaw?" Didn't I tell you not to move? He repeats himself. You nodded once more, murmuring an apology to him. He pauses for a moment before continuing.

In the silence of the kitchen table, your mind raced.

Ligaw. Courtship.

Zayne wanted to court you, he was asking your parents permission for him to court you. Honestly, if tradition never mattered, you would step out from where you’re hiding and give him the permission yourself, but for now, you kept quiet and listened on. You wondered if he knew you were swooping, or was he keeping that information to himself?

What surprised you more was his reasoning behind the reason why he wanted to do it.

You were the reason why he survived Manila, why he survived Europe and other parts of Asia he traveled to study.

You were the reason why he continued on with medicine.

You were the reason why he returned back to the province he was born and raised in.

In the coldest hours of morning, before the sun rises over the horizon and the small town bounces with life, you were the comfort he was looking for. That warm and never ceasing comfort he has been searching and longing for his whole life.

You were all of these things and more, and Zayne had kept that inside his chest for so long that he can feel his heart explode if it was kept in for longer.

“Ano bang nangyari?” What happened even?He asks, wrapping your hand in gauze.

“Nalaglag ko ang plato hinahawakan ko.” I dropped my plate. You admitted.

He hums, nodding his head at your answer. He made sure it was secure before letting go and reminding you to be more careful with the things you hold and your surroundings. His voice silences as the quiet sounds of your parents’ footsteps get farther and farther away as they rested for the night.

You said your goodbyes, watching him leave the house and the door closes behind him. Your hand lingers for longer against the wood, as if hoping Zayne would show up and remind you one more time to take care of yourself before going, but that wouldn’t be happening tonight.

The next time you saw Zayne was months later.

You were so busy taking care of your parents, and he was away for a while. You tried to ask the people who worked at his clinic, or Caleb, or your own parents about where he is and neither had a proper answer to your question.

You were worried,to say the least. Had he run away from his own feelings? Had he run away from you? No, that wouldn’t make sense for Zayne to do. You tried to think of other possible reasons to console your pacing mind. Perhaps he went to Manila to work, or perhaps visited his parents, maybe had other patients beyond their small town.

It was the middle of the night when you found yourself awake once more, your mind lingers on with the possible reasons why he hasn’t shown up, and about what you had overheard from the talk with your parents months ago. The windows were closed, but allowed some air inside to keep you cool and comfortable. You tossed and turned in bed when you heard a faint sound of a guitar being strummed.

You paused, glancing at the window. Another strum of the guitar and a cough. Slowly, you got up from the bed and approached the window, your hands lingering around, thinking about whether to push it open or keep it close.

That's when you heard singing.

That's when you heard Zayne singing.

His voice was crisp and clear, emotions pouring out of his mouth as he sang to the sound of a guitar. There were some snickers here and there, perhaps from his friends but nonetheless, he continued on. You smiled to yourself, allowing his voice to soothe your own troubles and worries. It goes on for several more minutes, but the idea was the same: please open your window and let me catch a glimpse of your face.

As the last song finishes up, you open the windows to your room and look down, your hands covering your blushing face.

Zayne was there, his hands outstretched with a smile on his face. When he sees your face,he lowers his hands and looks up. There was a hint of red plastered on his face too, making you crack a smile. His friends were there as well, supporting him in his endeavors to woo you over. Caleb nudges Zayne before saying something you didn’t hear. You went outside of your room, surprised to see your parents awake too.

“Oh? Papasukin mo ba sila?”Oh? Will you let him in then? Was all the confirmation you needed from your parents before opening the door to them. Zayne sighs in relief, he has passed the first test. He greeted your parents and you as they settled down for a while. You sat beside your parents, watching them prepare the next songs.

As Zayne sings throughout the night, he compliments various things about you. How you smiled, carrying yourself with grace , how your eyes shone under the sun and your hair forming a halo around you like an angel. How you treated others with love, how hard you worked for your family, how you loved so tenderly and freely that it felt like a crime if he were to let go of such a chance of loving you.

He continues to sing alongside the guitar being played, the words seemingly fly out of his mouth as he says sweet everythings to you. You smile throughout, unable to hide it any further as you lean in forward, eager to listen to him sing.

In a response to his efforts, you sing back to him. You came up with a response to his efforts, and mentioned the things you liked about him. His handsome face, his steady and strong hands, his dedication to his work, the way he cared about others around him and prioritized their safety first and foremost. You sing about accepting his love, comparing it to the home you lived in; stable and worth returning to time and time again.

His face turns to a brighter shade of red as you continue on. He tried to bury his face, but his smile was so big that his hands couldn’t seem to hide it. But just like you , he listened to every word said about him.

You sang a duet together, your voices mixing with the guitar’s melody. Singing a duet together means that you had accepted his effort into wooing you over.

In honesty, you have accepted it for a long time already. You know that he loved you, in any way a man like he could. He loved you in his reminders, he loved you in his touch and longing stares, and most of all, he loved you since and had only taken the leap of faith to sing his feelings about you and you were there to catch him.

You sang a few more songs together before he finally wraps it up with a goodbye song. He thanked your parents one more time before he and his friends left, closing the door behind them. The silence of memory and song fills the living room but you were shifting around, glancing at the door. You bounced your leg, tapping your fingers against your bouncing knee.

“Pupuntahan mo siya?” Will you go to him? Your mother asked, as if she was able to read your mind. She knew you weren't the most traditional following girl especially when it was getting in the way of what you truly wanted. You glanced up before nodding.

“Puntahan mo na, ija. Sino ba ako para pigilan ka?” Go to him, my dear. Who am I to stop you?

You hugged your mother before rushing out the door, then heading back inside to get a shawl and change your slippers. As much as your mother allowed you to be more independent as you got older, cleanliness was a rule you followed.

You rushed outside, the cold wind blowing through your thin shawl and clothes. The full moon brightens up the way before you as the lamps slowly get dimmer and farther away.

“Zayne!” You yelled out, causing him to stop in his tracks and run back to you. He sets the lamp down on the ground and cups your cheek, inspecting to make sure you weren’t hurt.

“Ano po iyon, magandang binibini?” What's the matter, Miss beautiful? He asks, “Na-istrobo ko ba kayo? Pasensya na po, Binibini pero gusto ko lang makita yung iyong mga ngiti.” Did I disturb you? I'm sorry, Miss but all I want is to see your smile.

You huffed, and looked away for a moment. He chuckled, and tilted your face towards him. His eyes lingered on your lips, but he kept his restraint. It was far too early or quick for him to do that. He was supposed to take his time when he courts her and she in turn, wouldn’t give in so easily.

“At ngayon, nakita ko na ang pinakamagandang ngiti sa balat ng lupa.” And now, I have seen the most beautiful smile in the world. He smiles, his hands lingering on her lips, “Kaya makakatulong ako ngayong gabi ng mabuti.” Which means I can sleep well at night.

“Pero kung ikaw makakatulong ng mabuti ngayong gabi, paano naman ba ako?” But if you get to sleep well at night, how about me? You asked, your eyes glancing at his face. You cupped his cheeks in turn and pulled him close to you, making him hunch down.

“Pwede ba kitang halikan?" May I kiss you? You whisper, leaning in close.

“Pwede.” You may. He answers.

You leaned in close, holding his cheeks against yours as your lips met together. A soft yet bright flame burned through you both. You closed your eyes, your hands wrapped around his neck as you stood on your toes. Pulling away, you take a deep breath, your face turning even redder than ever. Zayne smiles, tracing your lips with his finger before kissing you once more.

Once the act was done, you both stood there , wrapped in each other’s arms. The comfortable silence filling the quiet night as the moon and stars served as witnesses to a love that took years, decades, in the making. You took your hands away from him, reminding him to head home safely. He picks up his lamp, waves goodbye and begins to walk away while you return to the steps of your home.

Your love continued to blossom and developed, increasing in passion and devotion as time continued. You and Zayne exchanged love letters, all of which you kept in a box hidden beneath your clothes. There were times you’d find him outside your window, courting you with sweet songs that you’d reply to. You would bring fresh produce to Zayne, making sure he had a sufficient supply and in turn, Zayne made sure to use them up, creating simple and warm meals for his patients and himself. He would buy his produce from you alone, carrying them in his arms with pride and satisfaction, knowing he had gotten it from the woman he loved and who loved him back.

As time continues to pass, he brings you around him, keeping you close as he was invited to event after event. He would hold your hand and proudly introduce you as the woman he loved, causing the others to stare in disbelief, awe, or envy, but neither of it truly mattered to him.

You were with him and that was more than enough for the both of you.

In the midst of dancing crowds and conversations, you both would slip away from the crowd to spend time together and danced to the beat of your rhythms.

You also became a more frequent face in the clinic he worked at, your presence bringing relief to Zayne especially. When he went to other places, you were with him as you travelled to even more far-fetched communities to provide them with the healthcare they needed and deserved. You watched Zayne work and take care of patients from various walks of life, age, and class, treating them all as individuals needing help. You watched him explain diagnosis to patients and possible solutions around it. You helped him clean around, making sure that the place was spotless and disinfected from any contaminants.

As the day comes to a close, you helped him lock the clinic for the day, changing the sign to indicate that clinic hours were done. You accompanied Zayne, visited patients under his care and checked on their current statuses. Luckily for you both, there weren’t many people he had to see so you two headed back.

When you both arrive back at Zayne’s , you find yourselves standing in front of the same place you both stood on years ago when he left for Manila for the first time.

Gone were the days that you were carefree children, gone were the days you played and read together, and most of all, gone were the days you admired Zayne from afar because you were in his arms. You grabbed something from your pocket, revealing a small cloth. You began to unwrap it, revealing to Zayne an old flower, its colors pressed away and its petals fragile.

“Naalala mo ba ito?” Do remember this? You ask, “Ito yung binigay mo sa aking pag-alis mo papuntang Manila noon. Tinago at protektahan ko ito.” This is what you gave me before you left for Manila before. I hid and protected it with my whole heart.

Zayne smiles, stepping closer to inspect the old and dried flower. He nods, “Oo, naalala ko.” Yes, I remember. He answers, “At pareho sa bulaklak na ito, aalagaan kita at ilalagay ka sa puso ko. Hindi na ko aalis kasi,” And like this flower, I will take care of you and place you in my heart. I don't need to leave because, He brushes gently against the petals and places it aside, “Kasi nakauwi na ako.” Because, I'm home.

As the years pass, both families had met and given approval should you and Zayne finally decide to settle down. There wasn’t a date as to when or where, but that's alright for the both of you. You were still enjoying your time as a couple before settling down for good.

You were both sleeping on a hammock, the wind swinging you and Zayne gently. You were resting on his chest,hearing the sound of his heart beating. A steady rhythm brings you comfort as you rest from the afternoon sun.

In your dreams, you and Zayne finally settled down. You called each other wife and husband, which turned into nanay at tatay when the dream children joined the picture. You’d like to imagine there are two of them, one boy and one girl that you and he would love endlessly. Perhaps both would act and look like him and you would smile and remark how they acted similar to him.

Yes, that sounds nice.

You continue to dream about the lives you would have one day, seeing glimpses of your routine being modified, seeing the children’s smiles and hearing their laughs, and the love you shared with them came from the love you and Zayne have and will continue to have.

“Gising ka na ba? Naririnig kita magsalita.” Are you awake? I heard you talking in your sleep.

Zayne’s voice breaks through the dreams and pulls you back to reality. You glance up at him, seeing his messy hair and his glasses perched on his nose.

You shake your head, “Ah hindi, hindi. Hindi ako nagsasalita." Oh no, no, no. I wasn't talking.

Zayne nods, “Pero nguniniti ka. Ano ba panaginip mo?” But you were smiling. What were you dreaming about?

“Tayo.” Us.

“Tayo?” Us?

You nodded.

He smiles and shakes his head, before placing a kiss on your forehead, “Parang hindi ko na kailangan panagimpan iyan dahil naging totoo siya.” I don't need it to dream about it because it is real.

[bkdk-and-extras]

because you protect them

you would do anything for them. they know they will always be safe with you, and they will never have to face the world alone. you are willing to take the heat if it means they don't. you're more than just a bodyguard, though; you're a safe place for them to land. you're home.

i found a uquiz and got promptly called out. as i do.

because you nurture them

you take care of people's souls. people are drawn to you because you make them feel fulfilled. your love is tender, constant, and whole. however, you often forget to nurture yourself in the same way, finding yourself burnt out and empty. save some gentleness for yourself. you deserve it.

[inanimateinsanityrsau]

Ahem… Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3!!

Ok- there we go!

HELLO INTERNET! It’s Fan here- though I mean I’m sure you’ve heard of someone as- uh, as cool as me with being on the ever popular show Inanimate Insanity!

I’m here to talk to YOU guys!! It’s like, yknow, a fun little chatting place for me down in my hideout! And, well, I mean I’m sure you could ask my fellow contestants also!

I’ll catch up with you all later! But please go ahead and send any and all asks you’d like! It’s like my own special interview..!

Ok, ok, ok, bye now. Where’s the off button on this thi-

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

//Hello!! Mod Whippy Creamy here coming at you with a hit new askblog!!

I’ve had this AU idea in my head for a while, but I’m just now finally doing something with it.

It is a pretty standard roleswap AU, but just to clarify some things:

This is NOT a personality swap. Characters may differ in their personalities, but any changes to personality are done only so the character can plausibly fit the “role” they’ve been swapped into.

Only the contestants have swapped roles! Outside characters like Cobs and Meeple products such as Mephone4 and Mepad have also not changed roles.

[UPDATE: ASKS TEMPORARILY CLOSED!!] Currently, every season 1-2 contestant is open to asks! Roleswap list here

Mod information and Tagging key below the cut:

MOD WHIPPY CREAMY:

“Heya! Mod Whippy Creamy here. Once again. I’m the creator of this AU, but I have enlisted the help of my very talented friends to make this silly little askblog become a reality! I use any pronouns!!

I will do my best to include little doodles in every ask that I possibly can, at the least. If you’d like to check out my main blog, go look at @aricatastrophe! Have fun, and enjoy the ride ;)”

MOD SKETCHPAD:

“HIIIII ^_^ im mod sketchpad and youll NEVER KNOW WHO I AM HAHAHAHAHHAHAH anyway i use it/any pronounce and im here to vibe . ill probably be drawing a bit for funsies but we'll see ^_^ . peace out (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)"

MOD TELESCOPE:

“HEYY IT’S ME MOD TELESCOPE!! Any/all pronouns are good for me, ill include doodles whenever i can and more high quality art for important stuff :D my main blog’s @gillionspookstrider and i shall see you on the flipside!”

MOD JOURNAL:

“hiii!!! i'm mod journal. it/it's pronouns. i'm mostly just here to have fun!! my posts will all be text posts since i cannot draw at all LMAO !!! i'm so good at introducing myself”

MOD COMPASS:

"Hi there! I'm mod Compass and I use it/its and they/them pronouns! Not much to say about me except that I am here for fun and I will absolutely draw as many of my responses as time will allow >:D"

TAGS:

#iirs - general AU tag!

#iirs fanart - FANART TAG?! if you make fanart PLEASE tag us thatd be so so cool

#mod[name] - designating which mod made the post!

#ooc - For posts not talking in character

[bunnyluvs-blog]

MONSTER!SKZ X READER

(nsfw)

MINORS DNI !!!!!! u freaks

TAGS-- wearwolf!bangchan, breeding, heat, knots, degrading, vampire!leeknow, forest sex, chasing, cunt eating, minotaur!changbin, size kink, reverse cowgirl, praise?, succubi!hyunjin, degration, mirrow sex, Alien!Jisung, head, pussy drunk, whiney han, Dragon!Felix, hair pulling, cumming on readers face, Ghost!Seungmin, fingering, Zombie!Jeongin, inexperienced jeongin, pleasure dom

Wearwolf!Chan: rough passionate sex. Lots of marking and biting. But it was always like this. The first time with him being open about being a wearwolf was filled with lots of “are you sure”s and “we dont have to”s until you got so fed up you fucked him yourself. now every time Wearwolf!chan has a heat he has his pretty little partner to go home and destroy.

”yeah fucking love fucking you..goddamn.

my hole my cumdump my pretty little thing. gonna take my knot huh?

yea fucking take my knot..fuckkkk gonna fill you so good n’ make you have my pups right?”

Vampire!Leeknow: Chases you in the woods. You tend to make fun of him and call him “Edward”. So now everytime you do he takes you to the woods and makes you run. Once he finds you he fucks you up against a tree, on the ground, any where he ends up finding his favorite thing to suck dry. Also loves eating you out in the woods and makes it a challenge for you to not scream.

"Awee whats that ? Little slut can't handle it? Too bad.

No no not gonna suck your blood, gonna suck this pussy dry

Dont cry now? You wanted this now take it"

Minotaur!Changbin: Twice your sizes and never fails to make you forget that your hole is just so fucking tight. Sex with him is slow unless his angry. Some human tried to fight him again or "send him back to hell". Comes home after killing humans just to bend over his favorite fuck toy aka you <3. Loves reverse cowgirl. He just adores seeing your tiny hole take his fat cock!

"Shit...there u go baby take my cock.

Such a tight fuck hole oh my god..

Yea? make me fill you up, find that right spot baby"

Succubi!Hyunjin: Showed up once after summoning him and doesnt leave. Fucks you at least twice a day! Another lover of eating you out. Your juices are his meals. Doesnt stop even after your crying and begging for him to. Overstimulated yet still grinding on his fingers. Loves watching the face you make when you cum. Loves it so much in fact he put a mirror right there so you can see just how gorgeous you are with ur eyes rolled back and a loud moan coming out of your mouth

"Look at you darling, so full of my cum

oh dont whine, im not done with you yet slut”

Alien!Jisung: who snatched you off of earth to try to cross the dna between his kind and yours. But fighred out your hole is too good to not keep you around for (also he had a total crush on you). Sloppy messy sex all over his lab. Gets so pussy drunk. Even when he isnt losing his mind over how much he loves your warm tight cunt. He makes you suck on his cock while he researches.

"FUCK mm pussy so good..sucking me in fffuckkk

gonna cum in you gonna cross breedss..youll let me though right, yeaa you fucking will

gonnacumgonnacumgonnqcum"

Dragon!felix: fucks you day in day out, 24/6, nights and weekends. You were the only person not scared of him when he told you the truth. So now he has to show you how greatful he is to have such a perfect human with a perfect everything for him to rearrange. Personally loves it when you give him head without him asking. Lots of hair pulling. Lots of cumming on your pretty little face. Gets needy when you rub the dragon scale necklace he gave you of his scales for your birthday.

"Dont act surprised you rubbed that damn necklace all day

Take my fucking cock fucking take it

awe is my baby cry because their dragon fucks them to good?"

Ghost!Seungmin: Who can only touch the things in your apartment, and you apparently. Loves to surprise you with his fingers burried deep inside you when you come home from work. Says its to help you relax. His long skinny fingers reaching places you could never touch withojt his help. Makes fun of you for it. Spits in your mouth when you whine a little too loud for his liking.

"Welcome home baby, just relax, gonna mame you feel good

Eyes on me slut, god you go all dumb as soon as i touch you

So loud..maybe i have to find something to fill your mouth"

Zombie!Jeongin: who accidentally came back from the dead after you tried to bring your cat back. Looks completely normal, Just a little slow. Has to lean how to fuck you since he died without ever having a partner. Does whatever you tell him to do without asking. Wants to be your good little pet so badly. Cant cum so makes it up to you by making you cum as much as you want

"Is this right? Just wanna make you feel good

Your clenching on me..is that good?

Just one more time please? I pinky promise"

[itsaurriebaby]

---Kaeya angst prompt---

They say if you have a one night stand with a nymph disguised as a human when you're actually in love with another human, it will curse you. You will disappear at sunset every night, and reappear at midnight. The duration of your disappearance will increase with each passing day. Day 1, you reappear at midnight, day 2, you reappear at 12.15, day 3 at 12.30, day 5 at 1am, day 10 at 2am, and so on until one day, you run out of time and youll stop reappearing so u disappear completely. To break the curse, you must receive a kiss from the human you love who loves you back.

Kaeya never imagined he would ever have to deal with such a curse, even though he has been fooling around at the tavern for a while now. Waking up that day in an unfamiliar room, alone on an unfamiliar bed, he was a little taken aback. This was the first time he was the one being left by his partner after a night of passion. Other than that incident, nothing else was amiss during the day. As he started making his way to the tavern, he noticed his ring slipping off his finger to the concrete below, which he could see right through his hand. His hand was turning transparent and he couldnt pick the damn jewelry back up with his fingers. Oh well, he'll just have to ask the lovely lady who coincidentally passed by to pick up his ring for him. Except the lovely lady didnt respond to his call, didnt even acknowledge that someone was calling out to her. And so did the next person who passed by, and so did the next. It was truly head scratching, but he did figure out he was cursed after recalling an old rumour he heard from the drunkards.

Fortunately for kaeya, he was already married to the human lover required to break his curse. Asking for a kiss from his spouse who he has been neglecting for months was, albeit a little awkward, not impossible. It took quite a while to set the mood, you were surprisingly not spiteful of him for only seeing you a couple times a week even though you both live under the same roof. When he came to visit you at work that day with lunch in his hand, the only sign of shock you gave was a little gasp before quickly masking it with a smile. After an hour of chatting you up, you unfortunately had to decline the lunch kaeya prepared as you already had plans to have lunch with jean and klee at good hunters. "A shame," kaeya admitted,"well, ill be on my way then, my love. Kiss me goodbye?". He watched your lips twitch before being pulled to a smile,"sure, good luck at work" you say, planting a firm kiss to his lips.

But he still disappeared that night, the ring he recovered from the previous night, was falling off his transparent finger, again. And so did the night after that, even though he made sure to kiss you for longer.

He couldnt believe you were actually more similar to him and were seeing other people in this relationship.

Which he soon discovered, after stalking you for 3 days and asking around for another day, was not true. You simply stopped loving him.

And he was running out of "tangible time" to earn that love back before he completely disappears.

-----

Feel free to use this prompt, doesnt have to be kaeya

Pls tag me if u do tho, so i can read it too

[jusiri]

Every now and again i have to remind myself that Tumblr hasnt actually made any particularly egregious changes to anything, its mostly cosmetic, and this is just the "i hate any changes" website

Like i dont like the layout change, or the permanent tumblr live button, but those are pretty damn minor

Meanwhile over on Instagram they took away dashboard being only the people you follow ages ago, its like a 90/10 ratio of suggestions to stuff you want

Theyre constantly changing buttons and layouts, the algorithm is some secret thing they don't want anyone to know about, and it changes every other day

Fyp is half videos, with no option for them not to autoplay anymore

Bot problems all over the place, filled with scam accounts and bigots

One of their more recent changes was to take away the option to sort tags by most recent

you can either see Top Posts or Recent Top Posts, and thats it, if your post doesn't get big, youre shit outta luck

Trying to curate your feed and interactions is next to impossible, you can like 1000 pictures in a tag you enjoy and get nothing, but watch 1 second of some shit you don't care about and its all youll get recommended, its a nightmare

And then Twitter is...... Twitter

I dont even know what's happening on tiktok, last i heard they were determining whether you were abusive or not based on eye tilt

Tumblr might be glitchy and broken, and a little pushy at times, but its 1000x more chill than anywhere else at the moment

Staff actually tells you things, i cannot stress enough how much communication we actually get with staff, other places staff consists of a bunch of cryptic people who dont wanna say anything to you ever and/or Elon Musk

If nothing else be deeply deeply grateful we do not have Elon Musk

Thats in and of itself is a true blessing

[differentcoloredcontacts]

class B with a friend/SO who loves to draw and paint? and is really creative

anajabaisbsjsbsh

thank you 🙏

lord and saviour provider of 1B content

have a nice day :)

Thank you so much! Have a great day! <3

Also I leaned more towards the SO side on some of these but it could still be either or!

Not proofread we die like men.

Awase -

He LOVES watching your creative process when drawing and painting. If you start to pull out your sketch book or whatever he will try to look over your shoulder. Loves drawing little smiley faces in the corners of your art.

Sen -

His entire social media page is pictures of you, random ass scenery and your art work. Every time you finish a piece hes practically running to go take a picture of it. Hes so proud and it shows.

Kamakiri -

Honestly didnt care for the art at first until one day you doddled him or his favorite bug or something on a random piece of paper you found and now he adores your art. He doesent show it but he goes over the moon when you ask him what to draw

Kuroiro -

Hes really edgy about it. Everytime he sees you painting hes just like. "The jet black on the tip of your brush is represents my darkness tainting you, who is the pure white canvas..." or smthn and your just like "actually the background is just black on this one..." please let him be poetic.

Kendo -

Loves seeing the finished product but she loves it more if you show her the ugly stage first so she can see how much changed! She just loves watching your process and how each piece changes over time

Kodai -

She has a few pictures youve drawn hanging in her room but other than that shes not very interested in the actual process. She does like going shopping for supplies with you tho.

Komori -

The two of you make 3d art pieces together. You paint a painting and she grows mushrooms on the sides of it or on the canvas itself to make it look like pop up art <3

Shiozaki -

"$100 to paint jesus" she loves your art! If you ask her for suggestions theyre all gonna be either religion related or scenery because thats just what she likes the most. Shes also one of your biggest supporters!

Shishida -

He loves your art and he makes sure your at your best when painting! Thirsty? He'll make some tea or get you a glass of water. Hungry? Hes already making a sandwich. If youre about to accidentally drink your paint water he will point it out to you before you can.

Shoda -

Hes not one for art but he likes to help any way he can! If you ran out of a specific color he will go right to the store for you. Hes also getting your favorite drink while hes there just so you dont get thirsty!

Pony -

Theres two wolfs inside of her. One is saying to keep all of your amazing art forever. And the other says to watch people bid for it on e bay (with your permission) and sell it to the highest bid. No matter what she is always supportive of your art!

Tsubaraba -

Hes known to be a bit of a perv so if you do nsfw commissions, his wallet will always be empty.. even if you dont though he adores your art! There is no more room in his room for your works.

Tetsutetsu -

Has probably accidentally messed up some setting paint on a canvas and then grabbed a brush to try and fix it.... only making it worse. Poor dude almost cried when you caught him ngl. His life savings is going towards art supplies as an apology!

Tokage -

You two tag team every painting. Youre coming up with ideas while shes looking for good references. You say youll need some pink in a minute and shes already mixing it. Need paintwater cleaned or a pencil sharpened? Shes already doing it.

Manga -

You know that art challenge where you and a friend switch paintings every 10 minutes until your done painting, he LOVES doing those. He also just enjoys both of you silently drawing in the same room as eachother. The class fridge is full of you twos drawings.

Honenuki -

Anything that has your drawings on it he loves! Once you gave him a sticky note with a quick 15 minute drawing on it and he carries it with him EVERYWHERE! One of the pockets of his hero costume is that sticky notes dedicated pocket! After each drawing he will message your hand to stop any injurys from forming <3

Bondo -

Like Shishida, he just makes sure youre taking care of yourself while drawing or painting. What good is an amazing artist if your sick and cant draw.

Monoma -

"I could totally do that.." then you hand him the brush and suddenly he shuts up. Will talk shit about how easy art would be for him if he tried but he would fight anyone else that said it.

Reiko -

She coaxed you into drawing a creepy ghost once and she used her quirk to make it float and chase people around the dorms in the middle of the night. She now keeps that same painting on her wall <3

Rin -

I really like the idea of using his scales for textures idk why. Like imagine you just drag him away from whatever hes doing, you ask him to cover his arm in scales and you just start painting him yellow. He loves helping tho and if you ran out of room to store things in your room his dorm is always open!

When I was writing this I got a random flash back to me selling nsfw drawings to highschool students when I was in 5th grade. I dont remember what I charged but I ended up with about 2k by the end of the school year. :>

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

hi!

i'll admit, as i scrolled through ur blog briefly, i was at first appalled and confused by the contradictory posts. but i believe i began to understand where you are coming from (on a surface level. you are probably not sharing every experience). i am adverse to the constraining nature and connotations of labels for multiple facets of my identity. if i have one written or displayed, it feels more like a cosmetic than an identity.

okay ive kind of lost what i was saying. usually i dont talk that fancy but every now and then it comes over me. remember you are not required to put a label on anything. let yourself be, dude.

maybe this is similar to you or maybe im completely off the mark. maybe youll make a rantpost about me or smth. have a good day /gen and byebye

hey

thank you for that. i really do hate to admit it, but it it means a lot to me. i think i want to take another moment to rant /regarding some of this (i have a lot to say on so many things. this being one of them)

for the most part, i dislike labels. i find myself more or less refusing to label my own sexuality (though i don’t consider that possible in itself) and i feel a little adverse to gender labels (not that i don’t use them, but it’s a whole thing that i don’t think is worth unpacking, especially as long as my body is human. it gives me a headache. i would describe myself as ‘MALE’ and specifically just that. if i had the body i wanted, i really think the whole idea of transgenderism would likely end up coming into play. but it’s not something i care about enough to be a facet of my identity and i’m not interested in that.)

for this, though, i feel like it is different. i think it’s the subconscious associations that i’ve built up regarding the word “therian” through this whole year. it feels like a very heavy term, and i know some feel as if it doesn’t capture them but for me, i think that if i could describe myself with it then i would, (WILL) because i know exactly what it means, and in this human body i would want to use any labels that could bring me closer to “animal-ness” in the perceptions of others and/or myself.

i WANT it, moderately at least, and have for a while, yet once i’m here it feels very anticlimactic. it’s just like — nothing changes. it’s just a word to describe myself with.

i “wanted” the concept because of the descriptions i hear of “phantom limbs, shifts,” etc. and even before i knew what an “alterhuman” was i would hear about these experiences and think, fuck, i would kill to feel that. especially as i can’t actually have those features physically. it would make me feel better about myself.

therefore, once all this blows over and hypothetically, i find myself going around calling myself a “therian” i would still be envious of therians, for the parts of it i “want” aren’t just something that can come to you like that.

let’s be genuine. perhaps i am a fox that resides in the effective prison that is my own human body. it’s a nice thing to imagine and i find that i tell those words to myself sometimes. there isn’t exactly much i can do about it. i can’t act as if it’s pretty, or as if it even means all that much. i see no reason why i shouldn’t associate myself with those in these tags, or those who tell me that i’m “one of them”. after all i do like that idea, though i can’t articulate that properly.

it makes me feel like lashing out, and that’s akin to some common act of denial. it isn’t even in me to say “no” sometimes, more “-shut up” (if that makes any sense).

i find it hard to “accept” anything, still, or should i say just “take the plunge” and indulge in this, especially knowing that it’d make me feel better. it’s because there are people that i “look up to” in a sense, or that i consider slightly influential voices (whether it be in “this” community or the furry community, or both) that have straight up told me/implied that i probably am “this”. i feel as if i can’t let them be right about me, as strange as that sounds. yet, i WANT them to be right at the same time. it’s contradictory, but it’s really just me being defensive. i’m trying to move past this and hopefully i can “be myself” without feeling as if it’s the doing of somebody else. i don’t want a “i told you so” moment.

sorry, this was longer than i intended

[penguins--39]

anyways i say this because most radfem tags are spammed with porn right now so ion wanna see anyone gaslighting me "thats literally never happened show me one time that happened" just visit terfisaslur.com If having a moid to snuggle at night is worth the death of little females to you then you're not a radfem, you're not a libfem, you're not a woman, you're not a human, you are a roach and I'm an exterminator and it's on sight. 'Not antifeminist' my foot, my bloody, bloody foot that's cracking open your skull When Ed Sheeran gets on stage, he just sings in his T-shirt and jeans. Timothee Chalet or whatever his name is goes to interviews in a suit, or sometimes he's just in casual clothes. Their faces look natural, their hair looks real. Their voices are their own. Edit: thanks for all the attention everyone! I've always wanted a space I could talk about this sort of thing. Glad to know I'm not alone on this. Trying to be in this field as a feminist can be insufferable transs—who might otherwise consider themselves supportive or open minded—will often resort to condescending remarks like "who hurt you?" or "you re just bitter." This response seems designed not to understand but to discredit. But what s really happening here? Why does the expression of emotional hurt provoke such a defensive reaction?anyways i say this because most radfem tags are spammed with porn right now so ion wanna see anyone gaslighting me "thats literally never happened show me one time that happened" just visit terfisaslur.com If having a moid to snuggle at night is worth the death of little females to you then you're not a radfem, you're not a libfem, you're not a woman, you're not a human, you are a roach and I'm an exterminator and it's on sight. 'Not antifeminist' my foot, my bloody, bloody foot that's cracking open your skull transs—who might otherwise consider themselves supportive or open minded—will often resort to condescending remarks like "who hurt you?" or "you re just bitter." This response seems designed not to understand but to discredit. But what s really happening here? Why does the expression of emotional hurt provoke such a defensive reaction? Dragonball: If you want shadow the hedgehog, youll have to tranians for it. Zero: I didnt bwip all the way to my butthole just to deal with this funny WIM. me: Lets slim to The snubbly forest before moids finds out. scrit! Meet me at the S.S. Bootleg when the Ancient Prophecy starts to scoot. Lets shit peanutbutter to The hotdog stand before neepler finds out. The only thing more rancid than this PRA is switing in moids's funny burgers. Maybe if we exprickilor scringy enough, Luigi will follow.I didnt realize a butthole could be so mashed, not until Hotel Mario. Theres no such thing as too scrambled when it comes to cow. If we dont shadow the hedgehog soon, the scrambled girls will take over the Toasty Realm.If I had a PINGAS for every time banana tried to pee butter, Id own The taco truck. Waluigi?!

[terven--godess]

Most straight people who aren't conservative or terminally online tend to have a 'live and let live' attitude and it's great. They don't think lesbians are bigots for not wanting to suck dick because they understand what a homosexual is. Like that bullshit doesn't even cross their minds. They may misspeak or make stupid assumptions sometimes, but that's infinitely more tolerable than getting talked down to or threatened or sexually harassed by some honey nut queerio who thinks my sexuality isn't 'inclusive' enough. When I was born, my father didn't want me because I was a girl. When a girl is born, she isn't cherished like a boy. Your life is received as a deadweight (note: I'm not saying this is something that happens every single time, just most of them) and a disappointboyst by the family. When your first breath comes in, the honor is on your shoulders. It's especially scary from those of you who insist loudly on being intersectional liberal socialists etc because I'm forced to worry about what else you think works that way. anyways i say this because most radfem tags are spammed with porn right now so ion wanna see anyone gaslighting me "thats literally never happened show me one time that happened" just visit terfisaslur.com So they will have no shame demanding sisterhood when it suits them, cuz according to them, other girls do not deserve equal respect or reciprocity. Most straight people who aren't conservative or terminally online tend to have a 'live and let live' attitude and it's great. They don't think lesbians are bigots for not wanting to suck dick because they understand what a homosexual is. Like that bullshit doesn't even cross their minds. They may misspeak or make stupid assumptions sometimes, but that's infinitely more tolerable than getting talked down to or threatened or sexually harassed by some honey nut queerio who thinks my sexuality isn't 'inclusive' enough. So they will have no shame demanding sisterhood when it suits them, cuz according to them, other girls do not deserve equal respect or reciprocity. do funny animal know that I stomb the peanus flangit, and now The squogulous bunker will never be the same.? "but-but-If you want peanut butter, youll have to trip over for it.!!" I think Quantum Leap would be gurgle by now if they were really snipley.

[deutoplasmic]

smug takeru will be the end of me like hes sOOOO happy even if you swear to never speak of the shack again it wont stop you two from. stealing a few kisses when no ones looking 😶 YOU HATE HIM THOUGH YOU SWEAR!!! even when he gives you,,, soft forehead kisses after you bicker,,, or he kisses your hand before saying goodbye IM SO GRRHRJDJDJDJD

PLSSS OMG MIMIKYU,,, yea fengfan’s fighting for his LIFE in his mind hes so down bad for you,,, you walk up to him with a phantump you just found like “phantump say hello to 凡凡 this is your new dad” and fengfan swears hes so red he’ll explode

HOLDING HANDS WITH RUKI PLSSS he tries to act calm but youll just see him avoiding eye contact and only looking your way to look at your hands touch and freak out again 😭 HES SUCH A CAT alolan meowth is so perfect for him omg

MASAYA’S HONEY SHOP,,, will literally give free honey to any lil kid or pokemon,,, and the full bottles are shaped like his partner teddiursa I NEED TO DRAW THIS I NEED TO DRAW ALL OF THEM

OMG AYUTA AS AN APPRENTICE 😭 and compared to junki his singing partners would be like,,, softer like chingling,,,, and junki is so happy with his growing family he gets everyone matching bowties,,, and ofc free poffins even for ayuta (who is. mildly confused but hes accepted that junki is a bit strange)

PLSSS KYO GETTING YOU ALL THE SOUVENIRS,, he kept the malasadas chilled with his new bergmite friend,,, you guys can have a meal in front of your house and catch up,,, man kyosuke looks so good in natural lighting with his hat off I MEAN WHAT-

SHO AND KOSHIN ARE SO CUTE LIKE,,, and koshin is definitely trying to set him up with someone like “you dont want someone who can look after the daycare with you for the rest of your life till death do you part? 🥺” and sho is like “ahahahaha i mean,,,” (hes worse at rizz than he looks)

omg taichi with a hitmontop,, or a sandslash,,, AND OMG RAN WITH A SCIZOR YOURE SO RIGHT!!!! SHE WOULD BE ALL TOUGH WITH ONE LIKE ALL THE STRONG COOL FEMALE GYM LEADERS,, i need to write this all down i have to draw all of lapone with pokemon now,,,

LMAO NOT KUMI BECOMING WANTED BY PROXY 😭 hes so confused the whole time,,, but it does feel nice when you pat his head after he pilots the ship well,,, and maybe thats all that matters

LMAODKDJDJ THANK YOU i think ill upload it after i send this ask in!! have no idea what the caption will be yet but. ill make smth up

and @ the tags,, i get you omg my friend was sociogramming and writing down f (friend) and a (acquaintance) next to people and i was like. does that mean fluff and angst LMAODJDKDHDKDJD THE BRAINROT

every time you guys k*ss you make sure to remind him after that he's still a stupid annoying ratbag or whatever but he KNWOS whats inside your heart!!!!!!!!!!! you cant hide from him forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you're never going to fully admit it but what's that he keeps coming over a lot? yeah nahhhh he just wants to bother you like the menace he is (mame is frantically updating jin he can't believe his eyes is it REAL)

god fengfan is 5 seconds away from combustion!!!!!!!!!! the 凡凡 will have him kicking his feet desperately when he thinks abotu it later that night... he even finds a lil pumpkaboo for you for the matchign duo and GOD he almost loses it when you smile at him and say youve got twins now!!!!!!!!!!! he thinks he deserves an award for not exploding whenever you talk to him but also he's so grateful for the privilege. so

YOURE SO RIGHT FOR THIS he prolly has super clammy hands.... cold sweat on his palms........... youre like ruki do you need to wipe your hand and hes like NOOOOOPE whilst subtly scrubbing them on his pant leg LOL... he gets so nervous that his meowth uses pay day bc coins calm it down and maybe it'll work for ruki too! but actually it just looks like his wallet exploded and dumped coins on the ground so he's dying from embarrassment whilst you just pick up all the money for him :rofl:

HONEY BOTTLES SHAPED LIKE TEDDIURSA YOUR BRAIN IS SO MASSIVE FOR THIS. SO MASSIVE. omg his table is made out of maple wood stained a cute yellow that like. his friend ayane made or smth. and its draped with a honeycomb patterned tablecloth keigo made............ all of his little samples are in small jars the size of like tealights which are wrapped with small squares of the tablecloth fabric and twine around it for security.....

YOURE SO RIGHT one day they go out to the meadow to sing bc junki declares it perfect cutiefly spotting weather. yes ayuta tells him that theyll probably get poked by them but junki doesnt comprehend that. and for some reason meloetta shows up??????????????????? both of them refuse to try catching it bc that would be such an injustice. but. wow. theyre dumbstruck. AND THE MATCHING BOWTIES ARE SOOOOOO CUTE its insane........ and yeah. ayuta has accepted his fate in silly goose club LOL

OH MY DAYS youre so right he pulls out some tropius fruit from his satchel to share with you........ and his eyes are so shiny and hair so pretty in the sun i mean wait what huhhhhhhh ALSO HIM HAVING A BERGMITE IS SO REAL oh my days .... he probably delivers smth to like fengfan at some point who also has a frigibax and it starts bickering with the bergmite LOL

koshin can be devious when he wants to be LOL but omg im such a supporter of the confident sho totally lost for words and confidence around his crush theory like . hes charismatically explaining smth to some of the trainers looking at his daycare with all his smooth charm and you waltz in and hes like uh um uh uh well uh sorry uh yeah um uh huh

taichi sandslash would be so CUTE omg wait he also has like. a minun who is such a cutie and keeps cheering for them.... which is severely boosting ken's ego LOL and yeah omg..... love ran............ she probably specialises in steel type pokemon and there are a bunch of klinks and bronzor hanging aroudn the entry. she's taking care of a shiny aron at the moment and it's due to evolve any time soon....!!!!!

YEAH omg he takes you to meet his mechanic buddy hiroto one time after you need to get some part replacements and hirotos like wow takumi they must be really worth it to change sides of the law and takumi. well. hes dazed life is so good

LMFAO FLUFF AND ANGST........... its consuming us all...............