#you've heard of weaponized incompetence

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Troublemaker - C.SC

🚨Who: Choi Seungcheol (Seventeen) x female reader 🚨What: Gang au, smut, gang boss Seungcheol, gang member reader, angst, humour(low key crackish) and some fluff to top it all off. 🚨Wordcount: 15.9k 🚨Warnings: Do not take anything I write about police/law seriously, I don’t know shit about anything, okay. Reader is unhinged and shameless(and emotionally incompetent). Gang typical stuff; violence, drugs, alcohol, prostitution, theft etc. Handcuffs. Profanity. Degrading names. Unprotected sex, hair pulling, oral(both), multiple sex scenes/positions, breeding kink, choking, multiple orgasms, clit slapping, marking and potentially other fun things I’m likely forgetting about.

Summary: You're known for being able to get your hands on anything you want; drugs, weapons, money, cars. Except your boss, he's always been a little out of your reach, until the day you have him handcuffed in the backseat.

Minors do NOT interact, which means reblogging and/or commenting on this story. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in their bio.

-2024 Masterlist-

A/N- the image of Seungcheol on his knees with his hands behind his head getting arrested popped into my head and spawned this and i am not okay This story well and truly ran away from me, I cannot be held accountable for this shitshow. I planned a quick lil smut thing and then the fluff and angst appeared and here we are.

It's a beautiful sight to pull up to; the Choi Seungcheol on his knees, thick thighs spread wide with his fingers lacing together behind his head, biceps bulging in his plain white t-shirt. The same Choi Seungcheol who for the past four years has been running the most cunning, slippery gang that has graced the city in decades. 

Local law enforcement has been trying to get their mitts on him since before he even started the gang, but Seungcheol is smart, he's always made sure to keep his hands squeaky clean. 

Which is why when you heard the news come through on your police scanner that he's been spotted with some real nasty fuckers and this is the chance to get him cuffed, you wanted to get there asap to witness and join the scene.

Who wouldn't want to have the pleasure of slapping some cuffs on Choi Seungcheol and shove him around a little, afterall?

"What did you get him for?" You ask as you approach the scene with nothing but confidence, thumbs hooked into your belt casually. 

Seungcheol glances over at you and his jaw tightens with how hard he clenches his teeth; he takes you in from head to toe, dressed in uniform so crisp it's like you've just pulled it on. You have. He doesn't look impressed.

"Probable cause," the young, over-eager cop getting ready to handcuff Seungcheol informs, sounding almost proud while his partner keeps his gun pointed firmly at Seungcheol's head. 

Seungcheol isn't stupid, reckless at times, yeah; he's been known to get pretty injured and take some big risks with his own body in order to get what he wants, but even he wouldn't risk making a move in front of a trigger-happy rookie-cop.

"Oh, you fucking idiots," you laugh, walking over to snatch the cuffs into your own hold.

"What the fuck?" The younger cop baulks dumbstruck. "Who the fuck are you to just-" 

"You really think you're going to get brownie points with the Captain by brining him Choi Seungcheol with no solid fucking cause? You think you can just put the guy in cuffs and the rest will follow? You're fucking stupid, kid," 

"But we caught him," 

"Yeah and you know what his legal team is like? You're fucking lucky I turned up,"

"Why?" 

"Because I'm willing to take him off your hands and deal with it myself. I've had my eye on Choi for fucking years, boys; I've got quite the file on him. What have you got?" 

Admittedly, you take a hell of a lot of joy in grabbing Seungcheol's right forearm to force it down and around to his lower back where you can secure the cuff around his wrist. He grunts at the unexpected force yet doesn't fight you, just clenches his jaw tighter. 

"That's a good boy," you whisper into his ear while the two cops exchange lost, almost torn expressions as they attempt to silently communicate with one another what to do.

Clearly, they don't want to just hand the man over to you but you're right; they don't have shit on Seungcheol and it would only cause them a lot of hassle to arrest him. He's too smart to talk, even in holding and would just stare darkly at them, not moving a muscle until he's released. It happened before, once, over a year ago and his legal team tore apart the station so thoroughly that the cops who arrested him had to resign and get minimum wage jobs despite being the best the precinct had to offer. 

Once you've got Seungcheol securely in the cuffs, you grab his bicep and appreciatively squeeze it as you tug on him to signal him up. You have to bite back your pleased grin at the powerful man listening to your silent orders and obediently getting up. He glares at you over his shoulder.

"You boys better get back to your patrol before you get demoted," you warn, shoving Seungcheol towards your car. He stumbles a little and glares at you again but you ignore it to reach past him and open the back door. 

Seungcheol swears and mutters under his breath when you roughly push his head down and urge him into the back of the car. He almost falls flat on his face onto the cheap imitation-leather seats. You shut the door before his colourful language cussing you out, spills out any further. 

"What?" You ask the two young men still watching you dumbly. "I know, my ass looks great in these," you smirk smugly to yourself and smack your own ass making both men jump at the loud, sudden sound. 

"Yeah," the younger agrees mindlessly, eyes now glued to your ass as you open the driver's door. 

"Idiot," his partner hisses, backhanding him. "Don't fucking agree, now she's gonna report you for sexual harrassment!" 

"She started it!" 

While the pair are arguing, you take the chance to climb into your car and drive off with a pleased little cackle at causing the most chaos you could with so little to work with.

At the end of the street, Seungcheol kicks the back of your seat. You don't need to look at him to know he's glaring at you, you can feel the burn of his gaze on the side of your face. You love it.

"Now now, Mr Choi, please respect my car," he kicks the seat again making you snicker. "So ungrateful, I just saved you from being locked in an interrogation room for 24 hours. You'd think you'd be at least a little appreciative." 

"Like fuck am I," he grunts and shuffles closer to the criss cross of bars separating the two halves of the car. "Didn't have to be so fucking rough, you bitch." You lift your eyes to the rearview mirror to meet his gaze and grin smugly at him before returning your gaze to the road in front of you. "Sick fuck, you get off on it, don't you?" 

"Damn right," you confirm shamelessly with an almost twisted smirk. "Big boss man on his knees for ickle ol' me. Gets me all warm and tingly, Cheolie." 

"How many times have I got to tell you not to fucking call me that?" He's too close to the front seats to kick them again but he does knee the back of yours where his legs are spread as wide as possible in his pale ripped jeans to allow him so close. 

Fuck, you wish you could see his thighs right now. You quickly look over at him to test your range of sight but the fucking seats are in the way. Dammit. 

You sigh and turn back to the road forlornly. "Well, maybe if you ever punish me like you claim you will and then never stick to it, I might learn my lesson."

"You'd fucking like it," he grumbles. You just grin. Yeah, you definitely would. "Pull over and uncuff me." 

"Nope."

"I'm warning you, little one," 

"Pretty sure I'm the one in charge here," you chirp, unaffected by his low, warning tone. Though a second later you're choking on a laugh when his body jerks forward due to you suddenly breaking to join the queue of traffic at a red light. Seungcheol's forehead slams into the grate making him swear harshly. "Oops," you offer with false innocence and a big grin.

"You fucking-" he starts harshly, only to cut off when you pull away rapidly at the green light, sending him toppling back in the seats and cutting off with a surprised sound. You don't stop yourself from laughing that time.

"Now, here's what's gonna happen, Cheolie," you declare when you turn around in your seat to look at where the big gang boss is sitting quietly in the back seat, hands still cuffed behind him between his thick body and the backrest. His thick legs spread with his slouched position. 

Man, he's so fucking thick. You know it's true all over his body. You've conveniently walked in on him fucking enough people to know that the man's blessed with a diabolically thick cock too. 

Not forgetting the memorable time he didn't notice your very obvious spy camera in his bedroom for a full two months. For two glorious months you got to watch him wrap a hand around his cock and cum over his chest in live action and automatically recorded for your rewatch pleasure. 

You've never been more glad that he has a strict policy of not taking anyone to his home to fuck, you quite enjoyed his solo sessions and still watch them regularly. 

In fact, you had been watching one while spread over your own bed when the scanner had caught your attention. You didn't even have the chance to clean up, your thighs are still sticky. But that could also just be from having Seungcheol in handcuffs.

"You happened to interrupt my favourite hobby by almost getting arrested and making me come to your rescue." 

"If you say you were watching those fucking videos again-" he starts.

"I wouldn't have to if you didn't increase your security and make it harder for me to put up new cameras." 

"I did that so I don't have your perverted ass watching me in my private spaces!" He barks. "I swear, one day I'm going to actually choke you," 

"Do it," the sparkle in your eyes makes Seungcheol groan in frustration and tip his head back, eyes closing as he prays to a god he doesn't believe in for strength to handle you and your endless depravities. "Question," 

"What?" He sighs and lifts his head to look at you resignedly. After knowing you for so many years, he knows it's just easier to play along unless he wants to deal with you badgering him for the rest of the day. 

"Would you use your hands to choke me?" 

"What else?" 

"Your thighs-" 

"Shut up," he groans and pushes himself further upright. "Can you go a single day without making a remark about my thighs?" 

"No. Can you crush my head between them like you did that watermelon?" 

"I should've never done that. I thought playing along would make you shut the fuck up asking but no, you're even worse." 

"I appreciate art and those thighs, Choi Seungcheol are pure fucking art." 

"We have very different definitions of art," he deadpans. 

"Yes, I know," you roll your eyes. "You like silicone and spray tan," 

"Do I?" He raises an amused eyebrow at you when you look at him suspiciously.

"Every woman I've seen you fuck are more silicone than my dildo collection." 

"Not gonna comment on the collection," he mutters, looking more like he's convincing himself that his curiosity at how extensive your collection may be is not worth actually engaging you in a discussion about your sex life, which he knows heavily involves masturbating to those videos of him masturbating. 

"Do you want to see?" You offer brightly. "I have one that I think could compare to your cock," your gaze drops down to his crotch where there's an obvious bulge that you know is him flaccid. "Maybe..." you suck on your bottom lip thoughtfully as your mind runs wild with memories of the sight of his cock peeking through his fist as he chases his high. Or wrapped in rubber as he bent another woman with fake tits over his desk, or face first against a too-rough wall to take what he wants. 

You really don't know how he can claim to not have a type when you truly have only seen him actually having sex with one type of woman. You've seen him seduce and hit on a wide range of people, not even just women, but that's always to get his way and he doesn't fuck them, even if he does sometimes make out with them just to win them over.

"Stop thinking about my cock," Seungcheol deadpans, snapping you back to reality and looking up at him, though your gaze darts back down realising there's a change in the bulge. "Don't-"

"Are you getting hard?!" You gasp, shuffling onto your knees excitedly and gripping the grate. 

"No." 

"Liar," you grin, eyes sparkling. 

Seungcheol knows he's done for now; for years you've been trying to fuck him and now, now he's actually lost his usual firm grip on his own libido and let you see that he's not actually turned off by you in any way. 

"So, what's going to happen, Cheolie-" he swears at you, head tipping back to stare up at the ceiling. Of course, you ignore the interruption. "Seeing as you ruined my me-time, I'm going to come back there-" 

"And uncuff me." 

"No, silly boy," you giggle. "And ride your giant cock." 

Seungcheol curses under his breath and swallows before lifting his head to look at you.

For a few moments, you both just stare at each other. You, in wait for permission, because although you do a lot of questionable shit you'd never physically force yourself on anyone, and Seungcheol, clearly in thought.

"Get back here," he decides in a low, rough tone that makes your lower stomach twist and squeeze with genuine aroused excitement. 

"Fuck yeah," you exhale, climbing out of the car where minutes ago you parked in one of the many empty warehouses belongings to Seungcheol’s gang. 

Seungcheol watches through the window as you make short work of kicking off your shoes and removing your trousers and panties. He tries to look at you properly but that stupid fucking police uniform shirt you're wearing hangs to the top of your thighs and makes it so that he can't see shit. Not even once you've got the back door open and crawl into the backseat. 

"You got a condom?" He asks, letting out a harsh exhale when you start to palm at his cock without warning. 

"Nope," You shrug carelessly and use your free hand to open his belt before working on the button and zipper. "Got a problem with that?" 

"Fucking you raw?" You hum in confirmation and reluctantly let go of his cock so that you can yank down his jeans and boxers. Seungcheol helpfully lifts his hips off of the seat, leaning back onto his shoulders against the backrest for balance to let you get the clothing down to his knees and reveal his rapidly-hardening cock to your greedy gaze. "You may be fucking psychotic at the best of the times and fucking weirdly obsessed with me-" 

"Hey," you complain, pouting at him offendedly.

"Are you really pouting at me for calling you psychotic?" He deadpans in disbelief. He's called you worse before, much worse and you usually just giggle and act like he's given you a giant compliment. 

"What? No," you scoff and move over to straddle his thighs. "It's you saying weirdly obsessed as if you're not the single hottest person I've ever met. How dare you?"

Seungcheol licks his lips and looks down to watch at what he thought was you making a move to ride his cock like you said you would. But no, you adjust your position at the last second and sit right on his left thigh. 

"You're so fucking wet," he comments, voice thick with arousal and awe. His mouth drops open a little when you drag your slick pussy over his thigh and smear wetness over bare skin. "Fuck," 

"This is what you do to me, Cheolie," you complain and wrap your hand around his cock roughly. He groans and tips his head forward, thunking his forehead on your shoulder as you jerk him in time with the drag of your pussy up and down his thigh while he tenses it to make his muscles bulge and give you something firmer to grind your clit down on. 

It feels better than you could’ve imagined and you’ve fantasised about riding Seungcheol’s beefy thighs more times than you can count.

"You're so fucking shameless," he grunts after a moment of just watching your movements. You're torturing him with the too-rough, slow pull of your palm against his cock, never close enough to the top to catch any of the precum that's starting to dribble down the side. 

"For you, not anyone else," 

"You're going to give me a giant head," 

"It'll match your cock." 

Seungcheol huffs a laugh and lifts his head to look at you. "You gonna sit on it then?" 

"I'd love to, but you didn't actually say you're okay with not using a condom. I know you always do with those women." 

"You're not them," it's perhaps the softest fucking thing Seungcheol has ever said to you. Your movements slow to a stop as you stare at him in surprise. "I trust you with every fucking aspect of the gang, trust you to back me up more than I do anyone else. You think I'd put my life in your hands and not the health of my dick?" He scoffs. "I trust you to not do this if you have anything you could pass on and I know I sure as fuck don't." 

"And what if you knock me up?" Seungcheol raises his eyebrows at you bewilderedly, barely even noticing that you've stopped grinding on his thigh and have moved over to hover over his cock. "What?" 

Seungcheol opens his mouth to respond but you decide to drop down onto his cock, letting his thick length split you open harshly as you both moan at the sudden friction. "Fuck!" He exclaims, head tipped back and eyes screwed shut. "You-you fucking idiot," he lifts his head to look at you. "You didn't even take it slow! You could get fucking hurt!" 

"Good, I like it," you smirk, proud of yourself for getting the usually so put-together man so worked up. There's something beautifully wild in his dark eyes and a pretty pink smeared over his cheeks. 

You really wish you hadn’t left your phone in your trousers, you’d love to take a photo of him right now. You’d put it as your lock screen and he’d probably threaten to beat your ass if you don’t remove it, yet he never follows through with his threats to you.

"You're fucking crazy," 

"Yep." You grin and grind down against him, breath catching as his cock presses against multiple sensitive spots inside you that has you repeating the swirl of your hips again and again and again.

"Fu-fuck, just ride me, shit," he groans, trying to urge you to bounce by thrusting his hips up against you. 

"Don't you like this?" You pout at him, faux-offended and keep at it. You know he likes it. It's clear by the tightness of his expression; the pleasure is clear in his furrowed brows and tense jaw, shoulders pressed back against the seat and biceps bulging as he tries to free himself from the cuffs. 

You really hope he doesn't break them, you really fucking like him like this. Then again, the thought of Seungcheol using his stupidly beefy arms to break free from his binds so that he can grab your hips and force you to take the pummelling of his giant dick against your pussy walls, well that's a real fucking nice thought. 

It makes you clench down on him and he moans, head tipping back and showing you the unblemished expanse of his throat. You wonder if he'd let you bite him. 

"Can I bite you?" You ask, falling still. 

"What the fuck?" He looks at you as if you're insane. Which, not exactly a new expression on the man when he's faced with you. But this time he looks utterly offended too. 

"Is that a no?" You pout.

"I don't give a fuck, just keep going!" He demands, looking crazed. 

"Can I kiss you too?" Seungcheol rolls his eyes and instead of verbally responding he tilts forward to crash his lips to yours, desperation urging him to kiss you in such a filthy way that your pussy throbs. 

"Bounce," he growls against your lips before letting out a string of almost whispered praise when you obey and start to lift and drop yourself, finally riding his cock like both of you have been wanting for admittedly, longer than he's been in cuffs.

To your surprise, Seungcheol keeps kissing you and chases your lips every time you lean back or turn your head for breath, or just because you think he probably wants to stop and focus on your pussy dragging up and down his cock, soaking him with every wet smack of your thighs against his. 

"Che-cheol," you pant out, knotting your fingers in his head to force him back and allow you to actually breathe. He moans deeply and his eyes roll back. Very interesting reaction indeed. 

You never took Seungcheol to like having his hair pulled, but the filthy moans he lets out every time you experimentally tighten or yank on the strands now you've got the idea in your head, tell you that the man really fucking likes it. Not even mentioning how he fucks up into you harder every time too. 

"Good boy," you compliment breathlessly, looking down at his cock sliding into you as you pretty much just hover over him now, more interested in finding out what makes him tick and turns him on than actually riding him. Not that you need to when he's doing a good enough job fucking you even with his arms restrained. 

You just know he'd ruin you if he had full use of his body. He'd ruin you and you'd thank him for it and ask to repeat it every fucking day. He could break your hips and you'd thank him. 

"Oh, fuck I-I'm gonna cum," he warns making your eyes widen in alarm.

"No!" 

Seungcheol opens his eyes to look at you with equally as wide eyes yet doesn't stop fucking into you. "The fuck you mean no?" 

"You can't cum yet! I'm not done!" 

"I'm gonna-" 

"No!" 

"Fuck," his eyes roll back and he lets out a string of porn-worthy moans as he jerks up into you a few times harshly while filling you with cum. 

You can only gawp at him in disbelief, one hand still in his hair and the other braced on his heaving chest. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" You exclaim, slapping his chest as he slouches against the seat while trying to catch his breath back. "You useless man!" You pinch his nipple where it's pressing against his t-shirt making him yelp and shoot his eyes open to look at you.

"What the fuck?" 

"What kind of a gang boss are you, huh?" You berate, climbing off of him and wincing at the feel of his softening cock slipping out of you, trailing cum with it. You don't even care that it's getting all over him and the seats as you move. "To bust in minutes, you that pussy whipped, Choi Seungcheol?" You tut and shove him down on the seats. 

"Ow, you fucking-" he cuts off, awkwardly wriggling to get on his back instead of laying painfully on his right shoulder. "I'm gonna beat your ass as soon as these cuffs are off, bitch," he warns, watching you with dark eyes, half warning, half aroused, as you clamber over his body. 

"Ooh, call me more names, my likey," you wiggle your eyebrows at him as you plant your knees either side of his face. 

It visibly takes everything in Seungcheol to keep his eyes on your face and not look at your pussy that's inches from his face and dripping cum down your slick inner-thighs. "You're clinically fucking insane, aren't you?" 

"I work for you, comes with the job," you coo, leaning over to plant your left hand on the door above his head to get your balance, your right hand knotting into his hair making him let out a groan that travels through your body as your pussy meets his parted lips. "Now, make me cum like a good boy, Cheolie," 

To your utter delight, the words are barely out of your mouth before Seungcheol's tongue is dragging through your folds, uncaring that he's swallowing down his own cum as he enthusiastically starts to eat you out like a man starved.

Honestly, you've never seen Seungcheol do this. You've never known if he's the type of man to eat pussy and if so, if he does it as a means to get his dick wet or because he actually enjoys it. But now? Now you fucking know. 

Seungcheol is making more noise than you are as he greedily laps and sucks at your pussy, alternating between thrusting his tongue into your hole and suckling on your clit. You swear, the man is determined to suck your soul out through your clit, he's not gentle about it at all but you can't lie, you really fucking enjoy the rough, messy actions.

"T-that's it," you encourage when his tongue is back inside of you as deep as he can get it to lick at your inner walls greedily, nose grinding against your clit with every movement of his head and his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. 

His face is buried so deep between your thighs that you're positive he can't breathe but even when you loosen your hold on his hair and stop moving your hips against his face to let him have space, he dives in even deeper somehow. 

The pure unfiltered enthusiasm he devours your pussy with sends you hurtling to a powerful orgasm that takes you a bit by surprise when he gets a little too into it and his teeth drag over your skin. You didn't know you like that, but now you certainly do as you shudder and gasp over him, fingers tightening in his hair and letting the vibration of his groans and moans help ride you through as you smother him in your pussy. 

Your legs feel like jelly when you shakily clamber off of his face and drop to sit on his still exposed thighs. His cock is making a valiant effort to get hard again. It's very distracting but you're both breathing too hard and trying to remember how to get air into your lungs to even consider going for round two. Well, mostly. 

"Please tell me you have a key for these," Seungcheol says once he's caught his breath a few minutes later, still laid back with his eyes closed. 

"No," you snigger at the pissed off look he gives you as he lifts his head enough to look at you. "Since when have I needed keys to open locks?" 

"Good point," he drops back down, though immediately lifts his head again when you dance your fingers teasingly over his semi-erect dick. "Don't." 

"Why not?" You pout and wrap your hand around his cock, thumbing at the head a little harshly but he clearly likes it judging by the way he gets harder in your hold and hisses, hips pushing up automatically to encourage you.

"Because I'll fucking dislocate my shoulders," he points out, trying to roll his shoulders but not really doing a good job thanks to his forced position. "And I can't hold you down and fuck you if my arms don't fucking work, can I?" 

"You actually want to do that?" 

"Always have," he shrugs and slumps in relief when you let go of him and shuffle back. 

"No, you've never wanted to fuck me." You frown confusedly at him as he sits up with a few little grunts from the effort and release of pressure against his arms from being laid on them. 

"I've always wanted to fuck your insane ass, which I guess makes me insane too. I know you're into some fucked up shit, I've seen the porn you watch." 

"Don't kinkshame me," 

"Don't fucking use my computer to watch porn then!" 

"But your office chair is big enough that I can spread my legs comfortably on to touch myself." 

"You've masturbated in my office chair?" He deadpans, looking unimpressed. Yet when you nod in confirmation, you notice the flicker of arousal in his gaze. "Great, now I'm going to be thinking about that when I'm supposed to be working." 

"You can always call me and I'll happily sit under your desk with your cock in my mouth, keep it warm and ready to sit on when you're done working." 

"This is why I never fucking let you know." He shuffles towards the still open door, making you back out until you're standing on still slightly trembling legs. "Knew I'd never be able to stop once I had you." Seungcheol gets out of the car and turns his back to you. "Get these off me so I can bend you over and fuck you until you can't walk." 

"Don't need to tell me twice," you quickly grab your lock-picking set from your trouser pocket before kneeling down behind Seungcheol to unpick the cuffs. 

It takes you longer than it should to pick the lock because you're very distracted by his bare, plump ass right in front of your face. As soon as he moves his hands to roll his shoulders and rub his red-raw wrists, you lean forward and bite his asscheek.

"What the fuck?!" He shrieks, jolting away and turning to face you with wide eyes and red cheeks. "Did you just bite my ass?" 

"Yes," your confirmation is utterly shameless as you stare up at him from still on your knees. 

Seungcheol stares back at you for a moment, before sliding his hand into your hair and tugging you forward, smirking as your mouth opens wide to accept his cock without question or complaint. 

"Good girl," he breathes out as you immediately start to suck and lick at him, humming and making appreciative noises at having his cock in your mouth finally. It's only taken five years.

Though Seungcheol doesn't let you enjoy him as thoroughly as you'd like. As soon as his tip touches your throat at your attempt to start deepthroating him, he pulls you off and yanks you up. 

You're not given time to even complain or whine, or beg for his cock back, before he's got you with your hands on the roof of the car and chest bowing into the open doorway so that he can grind his cock against your still sopping wet pussy. 

"You never explained the knocked up comment," he informs as he crowds up against your back, one big hand holding your wrists by the edge of the roof and the other gripping your hip tight. 

"What?" 

"You said about me getting you knocked up." 

"And?" 

"We both got done, on the same fucking day, remember? We’re medically infertile," He nips at your earlobe on the harder side and grins smugly when your breath catches and you press back against his cock. 

"Never heard of a breeding kink, Cheolie?" 

"Huh, you're into that?" 

"I'm into anything if it's you." 

He pauses his movements, lips parted against your ear for a few seconds before he suddenly lets go of your hip and pulls his own back to grab his cock and lead it to your entrance. He feeds it into you just far enough that he can let go and take your hip back into his hold before he thrusts forward, burying his cock into you in one quick, hard thrust. It jolts you forward and makes you moan loudly.

"Gonna fill you up every fucking day, baby," he promises, sounding far more affected than he did moments ago. "Gonna fill you with my cum until it sticks. Gonna breed you so fucking good, yeah?" 

"Fuck, yeah, yeah, fuck me full, Cheolie," you agree, nodding madly and arching your back to push back against him while widening your stance to get him deeper, even if it means you have to push up onto your tiptoes to account for the height difference. 

"That's my good fucking girl," he approves, pushing your shirt up and holding it at your waist to give him full view of your ass as he begins to fuck into you harshly. 

Honestly, you have no idea if you're truly alone in the warehouse, you know that various gang members use the warehouses for meets and their own trysts but you do not give a single flying fuck. 

You moan loud and shameless as Seungcheol fucks all thoughts from your head. He clearly doesn't care if anyone hears either, he moans and grunts without care, growling dirty words at you that you can barely babble a response at with the quickly growing pleasure in your body. 

“Never letting anyone touch this pussy again,” he declares in amongst his moans and panting, not slowing down once in his determination to ruin you. “You’re mine, understand?” 

You nod rapidly but can’t answer as that ball of pleasure in your belly clenches so tightly at his possessive words. As soon as his palm comes down on your ass with the intention of prompting you to verbally respond, that ball bursts; sending pleasure through your whole body and making your consistent moans turn higher in pitch, babbling his name repeatedly as your pussy convulses around his still-pistoning cock.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, fucking into you a few more times before he slows to a gradual stop. You can feel that he’s still hard within you and whine a little, pushing your hips back against him to try and get him back to work. “You’re shaking,” he points out, pulling out and carefully helping you down onto flat feet, taking some pressure off of your thighs. You melt back against him when he winds his arms around your waist supportively and kisses your head. 

The two of you remain like that for a few minutes as you catch your breath back and your body stops shaking like a fucking leaf. 

“You okay?” He asks softly, lips trailing over your cheek and temple. It’s much too tender. You like it, yeah, but you hadn’t been prepared for the care he’s giving you. 

He has always cussed at you and called you names with disturbed expressions. You’ve never cared about that, the names and harsh words have truly never bothered you and amused you more than anything. Seungcheol has never actually hurt you even when he’s slapped you away from him or thrown items at you, he has always purposely near-missed you. His aim is too good to unintentionally miss you all the time.

But this, the fingers trailing over you mindlessly, the lips brushing against your skin and the words spoken in a fond voice you’ve never fucking heard the man use, well that’s a lot to take in.

“No,” you reply.

“Oh, what can I do? Did I hurt-” 

“You can go back to fucking me,” 

“You’re still shaking,” 

“That’s because you were doing a good job! Gold star Seungcheol!” 

“What happened to Cheolie?” 

“You don’t even fucking like it!” You groan and wriggle out of his arms with every intention of pushing him away and getting your clothes back on but he pulls you right back in, chest to chest and looks at you so devastatingly fucking adoringly your breath catches in your throat in a giant ball of what the fuck Choi Seungcheol.

“I like it,” he murmurs. “I like it because it’s you. I just…couldn’t let you know that.” 

“And now you can? You fucked me and now suddenly everything changes?” 

“You wanted things to be the same?” He frowns, hurt trickling onto his expression as his arms fall away from you. 

“I thought it was just sex,” you admit.

“Right,” he scoffs, yanking his boxers and jeans up as he steps away from you, dick sadly deflated despite being hard and pressed against your ass a minute ago. “See this is why I never fucking wanted this!” He exclaims, turning angry now as he reaches down to grab your panties and trousers to toss at you harshly. You wince when the police-issue gun and holster smack into your ribs. 

Seungcheol pauses for a split second noticing that he hurt you but then he carries on, throwing your boots at you next. You don’t even bother trying to catch them and let them collide painfully with your thighs then topple down, the hard edges of the soles sending pain through the tops of your feet.

“Why are you just fucking standing there?!” He snaps, stalking over to yank the items from your hands and get to his knees to roughly force your feet into the trousers and panties at once. 

“Seungcheol-” 

“Shut the fuck up,” he snaps. For the first time, you listen to him.

A few minutes later, you’re in the passenger seat of the car as Seungcheol drives recklessly through the back streets. You don’t even have it in you to tell him to slow down because you both would get arrested and you don’t think even his lawyers could talk him out of getting locked up for driving a fake police car with fake licence plates and over the speed limits without either of you wearing seat belts.

He drives to a side street behind his apartment building and doesn’t even put the car in park, just stops it and gets out, slamming the door behind him before storming off. You take it for the harsh dismissal it is and climb over the centre console to get into the drivers’ seat to head off.

For the first time in years, you don’t see Seungcheol for days. You don’t think it’s wise to test him right now. You still don’t think he’d hurt you, but you think your presence would hurt him and you don’t want that. 

Despite what Seungcheol obviously thinks, and with good reason too because you didn’t say anything otherwise, you do care about the man. A hell of a fucking lot. 

It wasn’t instant, there wasn’t a moment where your eyes locked across the table on that set-up blind-date between you that was really both of your little groups of criminals and deviants trying to get information on the other group. You had both clocked each other and although it could’ve gone badly, Seungcheol had asked you to team up on a job and the gang was born shortly after.

Your connection was about work from day one, but spending time with the man even when he told you to fuck off when you would jokingly hit on him, it kind of really gave you a giant fucking weak spot in the shape of his stupid, charming face. 

The relentless flirting and sexual remarks, although they are all genuine, became your way to hide the truth of your feelings. Lean into lust to hide the love. It just seems that it worked too fucking well. 

You had honestly forgotten that the flutter in your stomach when your eyes meet Seungcheol’s isn’t all lust; that it isn’t just horny little demons running rampant and trying to tell you to get his cock in you, but butterflies too. Excited, pretty little butterflies flapping their wings and trying to lift you up into the clouds to where you and Seungcheol can skip merrily through the meadows together hand in hand like that scene in Shrek before the villagers chased the ogres down with pitchforks. 

But that isn’t realistic. You can’t skip hand in hand through a meadow, mostly because Seungcheol has damaged his knees from throwing himself around too much to skip anywhere, though it would be funny to watch his hobbling attempt. 

Well, at least up until a few days ago you thought it wasn’t realistic. You didn’t think Seungcheol had anything but a respect for you as one of his gang members and a good fucking one too. He often turns to you to get shit done when others have failed or if it’s too risky, too important to send others in, you’re the one he goes to. You thought that’s all your relationship equates to.

But apparently, you haven’t paid enough attention to Seungcheol to have missed the man apparently having some kind of feelings for you. 

You’re not going to assume he’s in love with you, it’s now obvious to you that he holds some kind of candle for you, but you’re not naive or hopeless enough to assume his tender touches that turned to hurt anger, to be love.

Choi Seungcheol likes you. Romantically. Sexually too. That part was great, top marks. Gold star indeed. If that’s all it had been, you’re pretty sure you’d have been spread over his desk every day since or tucked under it like you offered to cockwarm him with your mouth. That would’ve been great.

But nope, feelings. And not the touching each other up kind of ones.

All in all, it’s a giant fucking shitshow and not in the way you purposely orchestrate for your own twisted amusement. You hope things will fix themselves shortly because you don’t know how much more of this you can handle. But honestly, you really don’t think they will.

“So,” Minghao starts as he invites himself to join you in the car you’ve borrowed for the fun of it. You look at him with noodles hanging out of your mouth and wide eyes. “What the fuck did you do to piss Seungcheol off so much?” 

“Me?” You garble around your food still hanging out of your mouth and pointing at your own chest. The look the man gives you is utterly disgusted and it makes you snigger before you actually chew and swallow your food. “Why do you assume I did something to piss him off?” 

“Maybe the fact you haven’t been around in a week and every time I’ve suggested he asks for your help like we need, he pretends to have never heard of you while breaking yet another fucking pen in his fist.”

“Sounds like you need to stop getting cheap pens,” you mutter, reaching for your drink in the cup holder but he takes it. 

You watch as Minghao noisily slurps up the liquid through the straw, defiantly holding eye contact with you. But then he gags and quickly puts the cup in your awaiting hand so that he can turn, open the car door and spit the drink out onto the parking lot of the restaurant you’re parked in to enjoy your lunch. 

“What the fuck is in that?!” He shrieks when he’s done sputtering, turning to look at you with wide eyes behind his wire-framed glasses. 

“Coke,”

“That is not coke,” 

“Both kinds, and mint schnapps,” 

“I fucking hate you.” 

“Valid.” You nod and slurp at your unholy concoction. 

It wasn’t even your choice, you accidentally dropped a badly sealed baggie of the white powder into your cup when you tipped the contents of the hip flask from the glovebox into the cup. You had assumed it was whiskey or vodka or something normal, not fucking mint schnapps of all things. That’s what you get for tipping out the contents of a stolen hip flask from a stolen car into your drink without at least giving it a cursory sniff-test first. 

Minghao watches you with something like fear on his features as you don’t even flinch at the truly disgusting flavour that coats your tongue. You’ve had worse things in your mouth, you can say that much. 

Mostly thanks to Soonyoung’s own habit of shoving any food and drink into his mouth to consume like some kind of tastebud-less heathen. There’s probably a reason you’ve been friends for so long. One that doesn’t involve a bloodpact you made as idiot children that you’re both too stubborn to turn your back on first.

“So, what did you do? Ask to put something questionable in his ass?” Minghao soldiers on as he steals the unopened chocolate bar from the dashboard to open and bite into, looking very relieved at having the haunting taste of your drink covered by the sweet on his tongue. “Ask him to put something questionable in your ass?” 

“No,” you scoff, poking at your noodles with your chopsticks.

Minghao pauses in his rapid chewing to watch you consideringly. He’s never seen you like this, like you have actual human emotions beside lust and maniacal joy at making others suffer in various ways borne of your chaotic ideas. 

“It’s serious,” he realises in a mutter. You shrug and give up with your lunch, suddenly not hungry for it and pass it over to him so that you can start the car up. “What happened?” 

“What’s the job?” You ask as you drive out of the lot in a way that closes the car door he hadn’t fully closed. The slam of the door makes Minghao jolt, he had forgotten it was even open and rolls his eyes a little at you not asking him to shut it before driving off. 

“He’s dealing with it,” 

“That’s stupid if you think I should be doing it.” 

“Yeah, well, according to him, you don’t exist so he’s the best chance.” 

“If you wanted to send me in, that means it requires a delicate touch-” 

“You set a warehouse on fire last month, that’s not a delicate touch.” 

“That wasn’t for a job, that was for fun, leave me alone.” 

“You…whatever. He can handle the job, it’s just a different direction than you’d take.” 

“Has he gone in fists swinging?” 

“No. He’s seducing someone for information.” 

“Ah, dick swinging,” you mutter, feeling a sourness in your chest and rising up your throat. You’ve not felt this before when you’ve heard of Seungcheol seducing someone to get the job done. 

You haven’t even felt it when you’ve literally walked in on him balls-deep in some woman over his desk; you would just stand there until he noticed you, then annoy him by dragging out whatever it was you turned up for. It was all fun and games. This burning tickling your throat isn’t.

Jealousy is not something you’re familiar with and you immediately decide you hate it.

“You know he doesn’t…” he trails off, expression twisting as he recalls something based on his expression. “Well, usually he doesn’t fuck his marks but-” 

“What?!” You exclaim, slamming on the breaks and looking at Minghao with crazed eyes. 

Minghao yells which only grows when a car audibly swerves behind you to not rear-end you. “Fucking drive you idiot!” 

“He’s fucked the mark?” You ask, voice eerily level in a way that makes Minghao look at you and swallow thickly. 

For the first time, Minghao is genuinely scared of you. He knows you are an unhinged, unrelenting mess at the best of times and in a way, you do always scare him because he never knows what you’re going to do. You could easily hurt him or anyone but you haven’t, you’re usually too busy making sexual remarks to Seungcheol, or someone about Seungcheol, loudly enough that the man himself can clearly hear. 

And Minghao knows you’re a competent fighter, he’s seen proof of it but he’s never seen you fight yourself. He’s never seen you look so serious and pissed before either.

The carnage he’s seen the after effects of, the destruction you’ve caused, yet you’ve always had a grin on your face afterwards as if you’ve just been to an amusement park and had the time of your life splattered with blood. He knows how much damage you can cause in a good mood. So Minghao is genuinely terrified of what hell you can create when you’re in a foul mood, and right now? He thinks you would burn the world down and anyone who gets in your way.

“He-he hasn’t but he said he will if he needs to.” 

“Where is he?” 

The apartment you let yourself into is familiar and really not where you expected to end up when Minghao had given you his phone to let you use the app he and Seungcheol use to track each other. You hadn’t known about this app and you can only assume Seungcheol had made sure you didn’t know so that you couldn’t use it to stalk him. Which…valid worry. You definitely would’ve stalked him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You demand as you step into the living room and find Seungcheol slouched on the couch with a glass of whiskey in one hand, the bottle in the other and balanced on his thick thigh. 

“This is my home,” he points out. “The fuck are you doing here?” 

“Where is she?” You ask, peering around before inviting yourself to walk through the apartment, slamming open doors to rooms as you go in search of the woman Seungcheol was seducing for information. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He retorts, following after you once he’s put the glass and bottle down on the coffee table. “Who?” 

“The mark, Hao said you were planning to fuck her for information.” 

“And you thought I’d bring her here?” 

“Well how the fuck should I know?!” You turn to face him. “You don’t fuck your marks, Seungcheol! But you were going to, or have…” You eye him over, black shirt unbuttoned to his chest tucked into black trousers that show off his thick thighs and plump ass. Trousers you’ve told him you hold he never stops wearing, and then he promptly did stop to your disappointment. At least you thought he had. 

“I didn’t,” he replies, shoving his hands into his pockets after they twitch at his sides.

“No?” You lift your gaze up to meet his eyes, or at least try to but he’s pointedly looking at the wall beside your left shoulder. “Did you get what you needed without fucking her?” 

“No,” he admits and tenses his jaw a few times.

“Then what?” 

“I don’t want to fuck her! I thought I could do it but I can’t.” He huffs and turns to storm back to the living room. Of course, you follow and watch as he downs the contents of his glass before pouring out more. 

“Why did you suddenly think you could when you’ve never wanted to fuck for a job? You said that to me before, that you don’t ever want to fuck for work.” 

“Because…it doesn’t fucking matter,”

“Obviously it does.” You walk over and take the glass from him after he’s swallowed down the contents again. “This isn’t you, Seungcheol. I’m the one who drinks at 1pm, not you.” 

“Well maybe I should be allowed to be the fucked up asshole for once, huh?” He stares down at you darkly. “Why are you allowed to be a fuck up and I can’t?” 

“Because you’re better than me, you always have been.” You pick up the bottle and turn to take it to the kitchen. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologises as he follows you. “I don’t mean that, you’re not a fuck up.” 

“I am, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it, Seungcheol so-” 

“Please stop calling me that,” he breathes out. 

You finish putting the lid on the bottle and put it in the liquor cabinet before putting the dirty glass in the dishwasher, and then you turn to look at him while leaning back against the counter behind you with your arms crossed loosely over your chest. 

He looks…sad. You hate it.

“That’s your name, that’s what everyone calls you. That’s what you’ve been trying to get me to call you for years.” 

“And you never fucking listened. Can’t…can’t we go back to that?” 

“I don’t know, can we?” 

Seungcheol does nothing but look at you for what feels like more than enough time for him to come to a definite answer hours ago. But he just keeps looking at you with those giant sad fucking eyes and his fingers gripping the edge of the island counter in front of him as if he needs to hold on to something and what he wants to hold isn’t in reach. 

“I can try,” he offers. “Can you?” 

“I’m not the one who has been denying the other’s existence,” 

“You’re not the one who got their heart broken,” he retorts sharply before taking a deep breath as he closes his eyes. A clear sign of trying to calm himself. “No, I can’t, I can’t do this,” he decides, opening his eyes to land them back on you. “You need to leave.” 

“For how long?” 

“This is my apartment-” 

“That’s not what I meant,” you uncross your arms and walk the few steps to the island in front of you, on Seungcheol’s adjacent right and close enough that either of you could easily reach out and touch. Neither of you do. “I’ll leave your apartment, I won’t argue about leaving now. But I need to know if this is the end of everything, Seungcheol. The past five years of working together, does it end now?” 

“Is that all you care about? The fucking gang? Not our relationship? But the fucking gang?” 

“That is our relationship,” you give him a bewildered look. “Before last week there’s never been anything but the gang.” 

“You’re serious,” he mutters in disbelief. 

“Well, yeah,”

“Get out.” 

“That doesn’t answer-” 

“Are you seriously that fucking stupid?!” He snaps, poking his own head. “You got nothing going on up here past work, huh?” 

You just stare at him, not sure how to respond because admittedly, the things he’s been saying to you today have been hurting. Five years of insults and degrading names hasn’t once bothered you. But he’s never said hurtful things like this before.

“How Soonyoung has put up with you for so fucking long is beyond me.” He scoffs and steps back, away from you with a nasty expression on his face, eyes dark and cold in a way he has never looked at you. “He must be as fucking stupid as you.” 

“Don’t you dare talk about him like that,” you warn, your own expression turning hard in defence of your best friend. “Say whatever you want about me but do not say a bad word against him.” 

“Why not? Hurt your feelings?” He taunts. “Didn’t know you have those. Sure fucking fooled me.” 

“Of course I have feelings, you dick, some of us just know how to keep them to ourselves and not let them rule our mouths.” 

“Well you’ve kept yours really fucking close, great fucking job there. Gold fucking star. You’ve kept to yourself so much nobody knows shit about how you feel. I thought I did but obviously I was fucking wrong.” He turns to walk off yet turns back around and stalks right back to lean his palms on the counter and stare intently at you. “Just tell me this, did I ever mean fucking anything to you? Did you ever even think of me as a friend? I thought you did but you’ve dismissed this so fucking easily, you’re so fucking willing to walk away and only ask about the gang that I’m pretty sure I’ve been a naive fucking idiot this whole time.” 

“Friends?” You mumble in surprise because honestly, you’ve never thought of Seungcheol as your friend. You’ve never tried to name what he is to you but you’re not sure you could if you tried. 

Soonyoung is your friend, even Minghao you’d consider a friend. But Seungcheol? Perhaps at one point you could’ve thought of him in such a way but now you’ve been pushing down your true feelings for him for so long that you don’t even know how to classify him. Friend doesn’t feel right. 

“Yes, friends, you know, people you like being around, people you can talk to about stuff other than work, get a drink with and have fun with.” 

“Have we ever done any of that?” You genuinely wonder quietly. 

You watch as the realisation dawns on Seungcheol and his anger melts into something pained. “No,” he admits quietly. “We haven’t.”

“Well, I guess there’s the answer,” you mumble, chest aching at what you know this means. That you and Seungcheol have never truly had a relationship of any kind outside of work. You’ve never realised that before, never before had to consider what that means. You wish you had, maybe then things now would be different.

“Right,” he huffs a humourless laugh as he backs up, eyes looking anywhere but you even as he turns. “Show yourself out and don’t…don’t come back.” 

You can’t be certain, he talks too quietly and moves out of the kitchen and down the hall too quickly, but you think you catch the glint of tears on his cheeks.

Weeks pass as you go about your life, as you try to make a new life without Seungcheol or his gang playing such a pivotal part in it. You listened to his wishes, you left and didn’t return, you deleted his number and told Minghao it’s probably wise if he tells everyone that you’ve left the gang and won’t return; and then you deleted and blocked all of their numbers too once they started calling and texting to ask what the fuck happened.

Soonyoung didn’t know what happened at first, but he loyally left the gang too and then you both decided to just get new numbers to avoid the hassle of blocking everyone you’ve ever known in relation to the gang.

And then they started to turn up at your apartments so you packed up and left the city and Soonyoung still didn’t ask what happened. 

Of course, you did tell him though. You told him everything that happened with you and Seungcheol and had to talk Soonyoung down from driving back to the city to try and beat up Seungcheol for the things he said to you in his apartment. 

Try being the keyword, because although Soonyoung is more than a competent fighter and plenty strong enough, one of Seungcheol’s biceps is likely bigger than Soonyoung’s head. 

But Soonyoung did calm enough to slap you around the head and call you an idiot for not telling Seungcheol the truth about your feelings when the man was clearly trying to start a relationship with you after fucking you dumb. You argue that the man had just fucked you dumb so your brain wasn’t working. Soonyoung said your brain doesn’t work full stop. Which…is kind of valid, at least where human relationships are involved.

And that leads us to your new life with your best friend in another town a two hour drive from the city and where Soonyoung has already made friends with a man who it took Soonyoung a worryingly long time to realise is a hooker. 

You quite like his new friend and like to play bodyguard with Soonyoung when Junhui dresses up in expensive clothes to bag expensive clients his pimp sends him to meet. Junhui loves it too; having the two of you dressed up in suits and following behind him to keep him safe. He doesn’t even mind that you both stay at the edge of the room when he gets to work.

“This guy is a friend of Jeonghan’s,” Junhui explains from the backseat of the fancy car you can proudly say you didn’t even steal. Soonyoung stole it. You’re so proud of him. 

“Which is why daddy Hannie is joining,” Soonyoung hums in understanding, nodding his head and almost hitting a lamppost before swerving at the last second after peering over the top of his dark sunglasses. 

“Remove the fucking glasses, Soonyoung,” Jeonghan, Junhui’s pimp, sighs from Junhui’s right with both hands gripping the leather seats under him. Which is very understandable. “And please stop lying to me that you have your driver’s licence.”

“Told you it’s obvious,” you mutter to your best friend who slaps your tit as he childishly mocks you. So you backhand him in the dick making him groan and double over, one hand over his crotch and his other arm hugging the steering wheel he’s leaning his chest against while biting the top of it in pain. 

Junhui sniggers at the antics between you and your best friend, as amused as he ever is by you two. While Jeonghan, not for the first time, wonders what kind of circus Junhui found the pair of you in and if they’d take you back.

“So, what’s the deal with this dude?” You ask a few minutes later when Soonyoung parks over three spaces in the hotel parking lot and Junhui cheers at Soonyoung remembering to apply the breaks in time for once. 

“He’s an old friend in town for business and wants to sweeten the guy he’s meeting tonight, so he asked me to bring my best.” Jeonghan replies while checking he has everything in his pockets by patting his clothing down thoroughly. 

“Aw, Junnie, you’re daddy’s best,” Soonyoung coos, grinning over at Junhui who preens proudly. 

“I don’t remember giving you permission to call me daddy, Soonyoung. I said that to her, not you.” The pimp points out as you all get out of the car. 

“What’s hers is mine and mine is hers,” your best friend replies airily. 

“You’re married?” 

“What? Ew, gross, no,” Soonyoung retches and then stumbles when you shove him. He collides with the wall of the hotel making you snort a laugh, until he turns and you notice his glasses are broken and can see his unimpressed glare through the missing section of the lens. “I just got these!” He exclaims, taking off the sunglasses and tosses them into the bushes. 

“I’ll get you another pair,” 

“Better do. I want Gucci ones,” 

“I’ll see what I can do,” 

When Jeonghan looks over at the pair of you in the elevator up to the penthouse suite, he has to do a double take at the Gucci sunglasses perched on Soonyoung’s nose. “Where did you get those?” Soonyoung points at you. Jeonghan gives you a flat look. “Well?” 

“They were just sitting there,” you shrug. 

“Where?” 

You stare back at Jeonghan, making your expression innocent knowing how much Jeonghan hates it when you pickpocket people for the fun of it. “Some guy’s head,” 

“You stole sunglasses while someone was wearing them?” 

“It was really impressive,” Soonyoung nods, entirely missing the point of Jeonghan’s gawping. “Jun’s really good at distracting, they make a good team.” 

“You fucking helped?” Jeonghan gawps at Junhui who just smiles sweetly at his pimp. “I’m banning you from hanging out with them.” 

“You’re my daddy not my father,” Junhui scoffs. 

Jeonghan clearly wants to argue more but the ding echoes in the metal box signalling you’ve arrived at the suite, so he just takes a breath and schools his expression in an impressively short time while the doors open. 

Then you four step out into the little lobby before the suite entrance doors and you swear, recognising the suited men standing guard outside of the suite. 

“Oh, fuck,” Soonyoung whispers. 

“You assholes!” One of the men exclaims, stalking over to flying-kick Soonyoung in the back of his thigh. “You fucking ghosted us!” 

“Ow, ow, Kwan, stop it!” Soonyoung cries out, trying to stop Seungkwan’s furious kicks and slaps. “I need my legs to protect my slut!” 

“Hey!” Junhui exclaims and slaps Soonyoung too. “I am not yours.” 

“Ow, attack her!” Soonyoung tries to shove Seungkwan over to you but he takes one look at you and shrinks back before going back to hitting Soonyoung while hissing that you scare him too much to try to hit. 

“Were you part of the gang?” Jeonghan asks, looking at you. 

“You could say that,” you murmur and look over to the grand double doors then back to him. “You’re meeting Seungcheol?” 

“Yes,” 

“We shouldn’t be there, me especially.” 

“Do you owe him money?” 

“No, nothing like that we just…aren’t on good terms, I guess you could say.” 

“Yeah, what happened anyway?” Seungkwan wonders, suddenly at your side and linking his arm with yours. “What’s the gossip?” 

“I assume you enjoy having the use of your hands,” you speak, raising an eyebrow at Seungkwan who backs away with his hands held up in surrender. “Good boy.” 

“How much issue would it cause to take you in there?” Jeonghan asks, looking between you, Soonyoung, Junhui and his watch then the doors and back again.

“Oh, a shit ton,” Soonyoung answers with a hum. “We moved two hours away for a reason,” he face falls and he looks at you with a sad pout. “Do we have to move again now that they know where we live?” 

“No!” Junhui whines, wrapping his arms around you. “You have to stay. You’re my bodyguards! I feel so much safer with you watching over me and I like having you watch too!” 

“You can discuss this later, we need to meet Seungcheol before he gets sulky at us for being late,” Jeonghan sighs, tugging Junhui to his side. “You two wait out here. I’ll have to discuss this with Seungcheol to see if he will be against you doing what I fucking pay you for.” 

“You pay us?” Soonyoung mutters confusedly while you just nod at Jeonghan in agreement so he and Junhui go into the room. “He pays us?” 

It all goes a lot better than you expect. You don’t even need to be in the same room as Seungcheol and, in fact, you don’t even see him until 3 am the next morning when you’re pulling him off of the man he was supposed to be making a business contract with but apparently, Seungcheol found it necessary to beat the shit out of him in the hotel lobby.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You ask once you’ve got Seungcheol outside and around the side of the building. He’s seething, blood smeared over his hands and splattered on his face. “You were supposed to be making an ally and I thought it was going well! What the fuck happened?!” 

“You! It’s always fucking you!” Seungcheol turns to you and puts a hand on your upper chest to roughly pin you against the wall. You let him. “It was going well until he fucking- why are you even here? You’re not a bodyguard!” 

“Yes I am,” you frown. “I’m here to keep Junhui safe and I’m good at it.” 

“Not in the eyes of assholes like that. You’re just more eye candy bastards like him think they can have. “

“Is that why you beat the shit out of him and ruined the past hours of work? Because he said some remarks about me?” You scoff. “I can handle that, Seungcheol, I-” You cut off when his hand is suddenly at your throat. He’s not squeezing or applying any pressure but it’s a solid warning that he could. 

You should probably be scared, but you’re not, even if the man looks utterly psychotic with blood smeared over him and wide eyes staring down at you. It’s probably really fucked up how hot you find it. 

“Don’t fucking call me that,” he growls, crowding you further against the wall, getting so close that his thick thigh slots between yours and his left forearm leans on the wall above your head. “What’s my name?” You raise your eyebrow. “Well?” 

“Seungcheol,” your defiant response has his fingers curling around your throat and starting to cut off your air flow. It just makes your excitement grow and show in the sparkle of your eyes. 

“Try that again,” he warns in a murmur, moving even closer and pressing his thigh up against your crotch. “Go on,” 

“Seungcheol,” 

“Bitch,” and then he’s kissing you with the same desperation he first kissed you. His hold is firm around your throat and his thigh is already rubbing against you in a way that has you grinding down while gripping his waist in one hand and hip in the other over those fucking trousers that drive you insane. Well, more insane than you already are where Choi Seungcheol is involved.

“Uh,” of course, of fucking course it’s Soonyoung who interrupts you, making you both look at him with matching pissed off expressions. “We should go, that dude is getting taken to the hospital and the hotel is willing to look the other way thanks to Hannie, provided we all leave and you never show your face again here. Hannie and Jun have already gone.” 

“She’s coming with me,” Seungcheol informs. “You go.” 

“Can’t. Daddy’s banned me from driving,” 

“Then fucking walk, Soonyoung.”

“We live so far away,” Soonyoung whines. 

“I’m going to break his face if he doesn’t leave right fucking now,” Seungcheol warns as he looks at you. 

“Just drive, daddy’s gone,” you point out with a shrug. 

“Good point.” Soonyoung nods then turns and walks off just like that without another word or complaint. 

You hope he won’t crash on the way home or forget that he’s driving a stolen car meaning that he shouldn’t take it to your shared apartment. But you can never be too sure with Soonyoung. Oh well, he already knows you won’t visit him in jail, just like he wouldn’t you. Your bloodpact never said anything about prison after all. 

“This is stupid,” Minghao mutters, glancing over to where Seungcheol has a possessive arm around you in the lift of the hotel they’re staying in for the night, a much less fancy one than the meeting happened in. “You told her to leave and now you’ve fucking glued yourself to her and lost a lucrative deal to defend her honour or some bullshit.” 

“Did I ask for your opinion?” Seungcheol retorts, giving Minghao a look that his right hand just rolls his eyes at.

“Whatever, just don’t expect me to walk on eggshells around you anymore. You’re hurting yourself here and you know it.” 

“I’m the one who’s going to get choked,” you point out earning a disgusted look from Minghao. “What? I know you’re into choking, don’t look at me like that.” 

“How do you know what he’s into?” Seungcheol asks, looking between you. 

“How do you not know?” You scoff, looking at Seungcheol as if he’s the weird one. 

“Because I’ve never had sex with him,” 

“Neither have I.”

“Or watched him have sex,” 

“I haven’t…okay once or twice…maybe thrice…” Your expression twists thoughtfully as you try to recall every instance where you’ve watched Minghao have sex, intentionally or not. 

“What the fuck?!” Seungcheol glares at Minghao who holds up his hands placatingly.

“She’s a voyeur and I’m an exhibitionist, it just made sense when it happened. She usually walked in anyway. You know she has no sense of personal boundaries and invites herself wherever the fuck she wants to go.” 

“You should’ve stopped!” 

“You never did,” you point out and push away from the wall when the doors open and let the three of you enter the corridor. “You never stopped when I walked in on you.” 

“That’s different.” 

“How? Sex is sex.” 

“Right.” 

“And I’m leaving, quickly,” Minghao informs and all but runs down the hallway ahead of you two to get to his room. 

Seungcheol doesn’t say anything until you’re both in his hotel room en suite and he’s leaning back against the sink counter while you clean his split knuckles for him. “Is sex really just sex to you?” 

“What else would it be?” 

“It means nothing?” 

“Is it supposed to?” You raise an eyebrow at him when you lift your head to meet his gaze. He’s got that sad puppy look again that twists your heart painfully. “Don’t look at me like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like…” you sigh and focus back on his hand. “Why did you kiss me, Seungcheol?” 

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you and I don’t want you to leave.” 

“And that means choking and kissing me?” 

“That’s what you want from me, right? Sex? Just meaningless fucking.” 

“No,” 

“Oh.” You don’t need to be looking at Seungcheol to know his expression has fallen further into depths that would drag painful claws across your pitiful little heart if you witness it. “You don’t want me anymore?” 

“I didn’t say that,” 

“Then what are you saying? I don’t know how to fucking read you, you know? I need you to talk to me. Every time I try to have an honest fucking conversation with you about this you just stare at me and break my heart without even saying a word, at least have the fucking balls to do it verbally this time.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you, it hurts me too, seeing you with that fucking kicked puppy dog look.” You give up cleaning his hand and toss the blood stained cloth into the sink to step back with your hands on your hips. “And I don’t say anything because I don’t know what to say. I’m fucking…emotionally incompetent!” 

“What?” 

“I don’t know, that’s what Soonyoung called me when I explained all this to him.” 

“Emotionally incompetent?” You nod. “Why did he call you that? I mean, he’s probably right but he’s usually the first to defend you, so for him to call you that means you fucked up.” 

“I hurt you, of course I fucked up.” 

“Not returning my feelings doesn’t mean-” 

“Cheol,” he immediately cuts off, eyes rounding out at the nickname you haven’t called him in so long. Granted, you haven’t seen him to call him anything in so long but the point still stands. “When did I actually say I don’t have feelings for you?” 

“You said we’re not even friends.” 

“We’re not, we might’ve been at one point years ago but…I can’t think of you like that. You…” you sigh and drop your arms to your sides. “You mean too much to me. I don’t know how to put any of it into words and I was too shocked that day at the warehouse to say anything. And then you got pissed off and threw shit at me and I just didn’t know how to navigate that. It was a lot.” 

“You didn’t even show your face after,” he pretty much whispers, hands gripping the counter either side of his hips to try and ground himself. It reminds you of the day in his kitchen, the last day you saw him, when he was holding the island so tightly to stop himself from reaching for you. “You could’ve come to me and explained and then we could’ve…things would be different.” 

“I thought giving you space would be best. I didn’t want to make you worse. I thought that space would help but Hao found me and said you were denying my fucking existance and planning to fuck a mark and obviously you weren’t any better with the space.” 

“I was a fucking wreck. I can’t do this, I can’t not have you there turning up to make remarks about my thighs or ass or whatever. I need you there by my side so come back, please.” 

“Just like that? I come back and things go back to how they were?” 

“No. You come back and we figure out what works for us.” 

“Sex works great, that was good.”

He chuckles and nods a little in agreement. “It was and I’d really fucking love to do that more, I’m sure you’ve probably got an endless list of fucked up shit you want to do to me.” 

“Oh, hell yeah I do,” you confirm, eyes widening as you think of your endless fantasies involving the man in front of you. “How do you feel about taxidermy?” 

“We’re not involving taxidermy into our sex life, no fucking way,” he replies firmly. “That’s a hard fucking no, you keep that in your freaky head.” 

“Noted. What about anal?” 

“You went from taxidermy to anal how exactly?” 

“Stuffing,” 

Seungcheol tries not to laugh but breaks into an amused smile and motions for you to get closer. “You’re seriously insane, aren’t you?” 

“Yes, we discovered this years ago, Cheolie,” 

“Mm,” he slides his hands onto your hips as he smiles at you in a soft kind of way that makes your heart race. 

“Cheol?” He hums. “Is…I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you for years.” 

Seungcheol’s eyes widen in surprise before they soften back out and he takes a gentle hold of your face and presses a sweet, lingering kiss to your lips. “I love you too,” 

“Oh, really?” He nods and you grin happily at him. “That’s cool. We should get married or something.” 

“Fucking hell, you can’t just spring that on me,” he groans, hiding his blushing face into your neck as his arms wind around your waist to hold you close.

“But we’re in love, we love each other, why should we wait?” You’re genuinely confused and it makes him chuckle a little. “I’m serious, Cheol! Why should we wait to get married if that’s what’s going to happen anyway?”

“Alright, baby, let’s get married,” he agrees, straightening up, beaming at you so happily that you can’t help but smile back at him. “We’ll start arranging it as soon as we’re home, hm? But for now-” 

“Sex, lots of sex,” you finish for him. 

“I was going to say let’s sleep but you’re right, who even needs sleep?” He hoists you up with a cheeky grin while you giggle and wrap your arms and legs around him to make it easier for him to take you into the bedroom. 

“You didn’t answer me about anal,” 

“I don’t have anal lube, babe,” he chuckles, laying you down onto the bed and climbing between your thighs while removing his shirt.

“I don’t have a dildo or strap either,” you pout at the reminder.

“Wait, you meant my ass?” 

“Yeah, I really want to fuck your ass, it’s made to be fucked.” 

“Uh, I’ll consider it.” 

“Okay.” You reach out to pull him back down and slot your lips together shortly. “Now, you owe me,” 

“What, why?” 

“You said you were going to fuck me until I can’t walk and that never happened.” 

“Because you let me think you don’t want me for more than just sex!” 

“All I’m hearing is excuses and not enough action to put your cock in me,” 

“Yeah yeah, get naked.” He slaps your thigh a few times in encouragement while leaning back on his knees to unbuckle his belt. 

You make zero effort to move at all, except to prop yourself up on your elbows and watch intently as he slowly unbuttons his belt.

“Are you seriously just going to watch me strip?” He asks while teasingly dragging his fingers along his skin along the edge of his waistband with a cocky smirk once his belt is open.

“Dance for me, pretty boy,”

Seungcheol puts his hands on his hips and waits until you’ve dragged your gaze up from staring at the outline of his cock, over his bare torso and to his face. He’s raising an eyebrow at you. “Did you just call me pretty boy?” 

“Yes,” 

“Fucking crazy,” he huffs a short laugh.

“Hey!” You lean up just enough to slap his thigh scoldingly then sit up so that you can grope at his thighs with both hands while he just watches with an amused, fond little smile at your utterly shameless actions. “You are pretty, my pretty boy,” 

“Mm, I can accept that,” he agrees, holding your jaw with one hand firmly to tilt you up as he leans in to brush his lips over yours teasingly. “So long as I’m your pretty boy, I don’t mind being called that. So long as I’m yours, you can call me anything.” 

“Okay, sugarplum.” You cackle at the world-weary sigh that Seungcheol lets out against your lips before he leans back to look at you unimpressed. “What’s the matter, pookie?” 

“Why did you have to ruin the mood?” 

“I ruined the mood?” You smirk and slide one hand up his thigh to grip his cock firmly, making him hiss through his teeth at the sudden, tight pressure. “Feels like you’re still in the mood to me, pretty boy.” 

“I really must be insane,” 

“We match well then, huh?” 

“Mm,” he leans down to kiss you shortly. “Good thing we’re never having kids, they’d be sectioned before they reach adulthood.” 

“Our neighbours would hate us,” 

“They would,” he chuckles. “We’ll find somewhere new to live together once we’re married, away from noisy ass neighbours, and with a garden so I can fuck you outside and see how gorgeous you’ll look with the sun shining on you when you’re covered in my cum.” 

“There’s a park down the road,” 

“No,” he scoffs and shoves you back to make you lay down before his hands move to roughly yank his belt free. “You’re mine, I’m not letting anyone else see you like that.” 

“Even knowing they can look but not touch?” 

“Maybe once I’ve covered you in marks and made up for the past five years of not being able to fuck you.” 

“Sounds like a party,” you grin, and then wiggle excitedly as he taps the folded middle of his leather belt against your inner thigh. “That’d leave pretty marks.” 

“Mm, it would, you need to be naked for that though, baby,”

“You need to dance for me first,” you remind matter-of-factly before lacing your fingers together behind your head comfortably. 

“You really want me to dance for you?” 

“I’ve dreamed about you giving me a strip tease, don’t kill my boner, Cheolie.” 

“You’re going to kill my boner if you keep saying shit like this.” 

“Guess we need to invest in some gags,” 

“Guess we do,” he murmurs and licks his lips automatically at the thought of your lips stretched around a gag and drool running down your chin as you moan for him. “I’ll give you a strip tease another day, I need to fuck you too much.” 

“Promise?” 

“I promise, baby,” 

“Okay.” You sit up and get to work, quickly stripping off your clothes so Seungcheol climbs off of the bed to force his fitted trousers off of his body along with his boxers.

When he kneels back on the bed naked, he finds you already laid there utterly nude with legs spread in wait for him to join you.

“How the fuck did you strip so fast?” He gawps, running his hands reverently over your thighs as he settles between them on his knees. 

“Years of practise,” 

“Stripping?” 

“Had to be prepared for the day you give in to my seduction.” 

“Well…good job,” he leans down over you, hands propping himself on the mattress so that he can kiss you. 

“Thank you,” you preen and run your hands up his sides to take the chance to touch as much of his strong torso as you can for the first time. You can’t fucking wait to spend the rest of your life touching him up. It’s going to be great. “Now, cock please,” 

Seungcheol chokes on a short laugh at your words. “Good use of manners, sweetheart,” 

“I thought so too. Definitely deserves a reward,” 

“Mm,” he shuffles down a little so that he can wrap his full lips around your left nipple and suck harshly, intent on starting his plan to cover you in hickies and hand prints to mark his property. 

“That’ll work,” you mutter, lacing fingers in his hair to encourage his mouth against your breast. “Not cock but it’ll do for now.” 

“Shut up,” he laughs against your skin. 

“Make me,” 

“Brat,” 

“You like it,” 

“I do,” he sighs before moving one hand over your chest and throat until he can press against your parted lips. There’s no resistance at all, your jaw dropping enough to allow his middle and ring finger to slide into your mouth. “Good fucking girl,” Seungcheol praises in a low, rough voice as you instantly start to suck at his fingers, swirling your tongue around and between them with happy little moans. 

Seungcheol keeps his mouth against your body, sucking and biting violent looking marks into your skin until he’s satisfied with his artwork. He moves down, dragging the fingers from your mouth as he does, smearing your own saliva in a trail all the way until he’s laid on his stomach between your thighs and attaching his mouth to your clit in the same moment he pushes those two wet fingers into you. 

“Cheol,” you breathe out, pushing down against his fingers so that he doesn’t even dare think of waiting. He hums against your clit, making your thighs tighten momentarily before he starts to work his fingers in rapid movements that make your eyes flutter and fingers grip at him. 

As your nails drag over his shoulder lightly, Seungcheol moans and arches up towards your hand, urging you on, encouraging you to grasp at him. Dig your nails in until he hisses and fucks his fingers into you harder and faster. 

“H-how much can you take?” He asks, leaning up on his free hand, mouth and chin smeared with your arousal. 

“Anything,” you promise, feeling as desperate as the wild darkness in his eyes tells you he feels. 

Seungcheol nods and pulls his fingers from you as he moves up onto his knees. He doesn’t even ask you to move, just grabs you and manhandles you onto your front, chest against the mattress and hips up just enough to give him a better angle to begin sliding his thick cock into you. 

Maybe you hadn’t been quite as ready as you could’ve been. As you perhaps should’ve been. It’s been a while since you put anything but your fingers in your pussy for a quick session since moving away from the city.

Living with your nosey ass best friend doesn’t give you the freedom to get your toys out as he seems to have the uncanny ability of popping up and making a big deal out of it. Lots of screaming and acting like he’s been visually assaulted. You do the same to him. Your relationship is full of a lot of love and mutual, mature respect, clearly.

It’s a tight fit and Seungcheol grips your hips tight as he painstakingly splits you open with his mouth parted and eyebrows furrowed as if in pain. Not that you can see. Or have the mental capacity to do anything but grip the pillow and almost suffocate yourself in it with the way you press your open mouth against the material. 

“Shit, you’re so fucking tight,” he pants when he stops before he’s even buried his entire length in you. “Baby, I don’t-I don’t know if this is a good idea, fuck,” 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you warn, turning your head to glare over your shoulder at him while reaching back to grab his ass and stop him from pulling out like he starts to. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” 

“Then I’ll do it,” you huff and push yourself up onto your hands. Admittedly, shaky hands but you’re too focused on your task to care. Too stubborn and desperate to get obliterated by his cock. 

“Babe-” 

“Shut the fuck up, Choi Seungchol,” you demand, pushing yourself back harsh enough that he flails and drops down onto his haunches as he swears, hands still gripping you though. His mouth says one thing and his body another. 

It’s a task getting your body upright until you’re on your knees, hands free to hold onto his forearm and thigh but when you do, you only take a moment to stop the spinning of your mind before you start to bounce on his cock. 

“Fuck,” he groans, spreading his thighs a little wider and rolling his hips in time with your bouncing. He’s not thrusting but his minute movements help to open you up a little more with every slap of your skin against his. 

This position isn’t very practical for you, not with Seungcheol. Not when it makes his cock feel even bigger than it actually is and your whole body trembles as it presses and drags against your walls in ways that feel like utter sin. You’re dripping all over him, ruining the bed and you don’t even care. Neither does he. 

“Your turn,” you murmur, falling still on his lap as you lean back against his chest to catch your breath at least a little and give your burning thighs a break. It’s a lot more work to ride him like that than you expected. You’ll have to take up a new workout routine so that you can do it for longer next time. You’re determined.

Seungcheol takes the moment of calm stillness to brush his lips over your shoulder and let his hands explore over your chest and spread-thighs. 

One of his hands trails between your legs to feel at where your pussy is spread around his cock. He makes a low, pleased sound before abruptly rubbing quick harsh circles over your clit. You shriek in surprise, body tensing at the sudden attack and nails digging into the skin of his thighs under your own.

“You gotta cum first,” he informs, stopping his circles for only a second to bring his hand back then down, landing a firm slap to your clit and making your body jerk as you moan brokenly. “That’s my dirty girl, fucking knew you’d like this,” his tone is nothing but aroused and approving as he slaps your clit again while holding you in place with his other arm wrapped securely around your waist with his hand on your chest. “You’re gonna cum like this, understand?” 

“Cheol-” 

“I said, do you understand?” Another slap, this one harsher in a toe-curling way, before he drags his palm and fingers over your clit in a way that could be considered almost soothing if he wasn’t pressing as firmly as he is. 

“Fuck, y-yeah. Don’t stop.” You agree, nodding where your head is tilted back against his shoulder. “But,” 

“What?” You don’t answer verbally and instead grip his left wrist to pull his hand up from your chest and to your throat. “I fucking love you,” he declares before squeezing your throat at the same time as he sucks on the side of your neck to create a new claim, his right hand moving to slap your clit in rapid succession. 

It’s only a few seconds of the combination, the intense pleasure from all melding together and sending a sharp orgasm through your body. Your body moves naturally as if trying to fight it and get away as you gasp for air you can’t get yet. Your nails drag deep red marks over his skin that only encourages him to fuck up into your convulsing walls. 

“Good, good,” he breathes against your neck and drops his palm from your throat back to your chest, both so that you can breathe clearly and so that he can hold you to him. He doesn’t stop playing with your clit though, his hips humping up into you and barely moving his cock but it’s still almost too much stimulation. 

The first orgasm is barely even over before another rocks through your body. 

This time, Seungcheol removes his hand from your clit, giving you some respite and murmurs praise against your shoulder the entire time it takes you to come down from the combination of both climaxes.

“You okay?” He asks gently when you turn your head to blink your eyes open and peer at him. You hum and nod, giving him a dopey, sated smile that makes him laugh. “Can you take more?” 

“Whatever you’ve got,” comes your confident response. 

“That’s my girl,” he smirks, looking nothing but proud of you and your pussy for being able to handle his thick cock. You’d puff like a peacock if, you know, you weren’t human.

Seungcheol takes a moment to just kiss you, lips and tongue meeting languidly as best as you both can considering the angle. You personally think it works very well and you’d give you both top marks.

And then he pushes you down against the mattress, one hand on the back of your neck to keep your cheek smushed against the pillow and his other hand holding your hip firmly to fuck into you in a brutal manner.

The headboard knocks harshly against the wall with every powerful stroke of his hips. The back of your thighs and ass are already starting to sting with the strength of his thrusts. His fingers bruise marks into your hip and neck as he hold you securely in place and forces you to just fucking take it. 

And you’re in heaven.

If you weren’t in love with the man before, you sure as fuck are now.

Nobody has ever fucked you like this. Nobody has handled you so well in every way. And you just know with everything in you that nobody else ever will. 

You’re definitely gonna marry the fuck out of Choi Seungcheol.

It doesn’t last much longer really, not that you can really blame Seungcheol considering he sat there and felt your pussy squeeze and cream over his cock twice already; and now he’s battering your walls so perfectly in a way that borders on pain in the most delicious of ways so you’re squeezing him all over again in minutes and almost screaming into the pillow as he forces another strong climax from your body.

You don’t even have the mental clarity to realise he’s stopped, his hips juddering against you as he cums as deep in you as possible with a string of low, rough moans with your name sprinkled in. 

“Oh, fuck,” you grunt when he lowers your hips to the mattress without pulling out just so that he can almost flatten you under his own body weight. You know he’s not entirely laid on you, you can feel the bulge of his biceps against your upper arms as he holds himself up just enough to not squish you.

“Shut up, you said you can take anything I give you,” he reminds in between pressing sweet, lingering kisses to your neck. 

“Meant your giant cock, not giant ass.” 

“You love my giant ass.”

“Mm. So, can I peg you?” 

“Can’t we just enjoy the post-sex bliss without you ruining it?” 

“No.” You wiggle your ass making him groan and then bite your shoulder in retaliation. 

“Don’t get me hard again, I’ll pass out if we go again before I sleep.” 

“That’s not a problem, unless you squish me, or go soft.” 

“Are you implying you’d carry on fucking even if I pass out?” 

“What? Because you wimp out, I have to suffer?” You scoff and wiggle again. “Got a problem with me using your body when you’re unconscious?” 

Seungcheol is silent for a moment in thought. “Just don’t stick anything in my ass.” 

“Mm, I can accept that. I want you to be awake when I ruin you anyway.” 

“I really don’t know what I’ve got myself into with you, do I?” 

“Nope.” You grin over your shoulder at him. “You said you’ll marry me, you’re stuck with me forever.” 

“I think I’m okay with that,” there’s a smile on his face as he moves off of you so that he can turn you enough to comfortably kiss you in a way that feels something like a promise. 

A promise to be okay with your endless depravities. A promise to marry you as soon as possible and buy a house together. A promise to spend the rest of his life loving you, his utterly bat-shit crazy troublemaker.

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Permanent taglist: @okiedokrie @variety-is-the-joy-of-life

[woolieshubris]

you've heard of weaponized incompetence. now get ready for weaponized incontience. I'm going to pee on your bed

[triplexdoublex]

Where did Megan say "it was a very emotional video for her to film"? I am in no way doubting you or your words. I love your blog, why would I? But I am trying to understand if she "speaks" in private with her fans (or at least if that's what they claim to). Or if they already wrote an article about it.

If she was, a lot would make sense. If she is actually was leaking infos, telling stories and possibily even starting rumors with fanpages, imagine what else she could actually be doing through her PR team!!! I would hope not this for her, imagine being a 38 yo woman with three sons who is supposed to be an A-lister trynna rage bait her man's fandom and stir shit up. Even local SoundCloud rappers side-chicks don't do this shit. I expect this behaviour from Nicky/ Nikki quoting his songs every 5 business days, not from her, "THE" MF, the 2009 bombshell. The only solution in these cases, would be to ignore them. Eventually they'll stop.

We already saw what she has done with her platform last year. God knows how many "fake friends/right people" she purposefully is speaking with just so they can leak stuff. If this was actually true, she would be a total menace, a ticking bomb waiting to explode. I am scared for his ass if he ever wakes up from the spell and decides to break up with her for good. It seems like she can leave him whenever she want and take breaks from him, but if he were ever to do the same, she'd make it her mission to destroy him and his image forever. Getting Amber Heard 2.0 vibes. He's living by the words "YOU'VE MADE YOUR BED, NOW LIE IN IT". His decade long player career is coming back to haunt him, tenfold. What kind of karmic debt is this? The only way I see him escaping unharmed (IF he ever wanted to or came back to his senses) is to tire her enough she just gives up... which I don't see him ever doing because he's love-starved and she love bombs him everytime she's back. I think weaponized "incompetence" (IDK how else to call it) might actually be his ticket out. Come on Kells, you can do it, "Just Do It" like shia labeouf did! Just Do It!

Virtual kisses and hugs to you and your lovely fam! I just know M. will be the most beautiful bride! Love.

First I just want to correct myself “she was very emotional when she LISTENED to the song” not filmed the video .I’ll only say every once in a while some limited anonymous info floats my way on here. but I did hear (I think somewhere on insta ) that she was in the music video.

Also thanks so much! Excited for the wedding!

[marvelstars]

There are many things I love about Rogue One, I think this story is the closest from disney to get to the imaginery of the original trilogy and is able to built from it, in this movie we have Vader pre- ANH, this was the era in which he felt more secure in his role as the Emperor´s enforcer, Second in command of the Empire before knowing about Luke which made him rethink a lot of his life choices.

He didn´t want to become Vader at all, he would not have chosen this life for him, he´s kind of resigned to his role at this point but also highly motivated as well, he knows the work he does isn´t what he or old Anakin would call good but he sees it as something neccesary for the good of the Empire, this is why I love his dialogue with Krennic in this movie, he isn´t mad at him for failing to get him a rebel or because he´s being incompetent or because he´s being unfaithful to the Emperor, he´s mad at him because he believes he was the one to order the attack on Jedha and because he believes he´s responsible of making the Death Star a bigger problem than it´s worth. Bassically Vader is mad because all of these events are getting out of control and dont benefice the Empire or it´s stability at all. When Krennic explains it wasn´t his order but Tarkin´s Vader´s calms down but his anger doesn´t recede because it´s becoming obvious the leadership over the Death Star has become a contentious issue between the Moffs to get even more power.

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force 

Vader knows Grand Moffs like Tarkin are excited with their new ultra powerful weapon but they are increasingly becoming tigger happy with it, Tarkin destroying the Empire´s center of intelligence didn´t serve for anything at all, the rebellion still got the plans and Vader got there too late to stop the transmision of the plans for the Death Star, he was clearly pissed off about Tarkin destroying an imperial base with nothing to show for it and that lead directly to his confrontation with the rest of the Grand Moffs in A New Hope but Tarkin was in charge of the Death Star because Palpatine gave him the authority, so he could not stop them from what he saw as them mismanaging the weapon, if there´s a way to mismanage a planet destroying weapon. Vader was just as surprised as Leia when he heard Tarkin give the order to destroy Alderaan, despite the planet´s long time influence on galactic politics.

I believe this moment, despite not being much talked about by Vader, this was something that awoke in Vader a wish to do more, he´s still pretty much team Empire all the way, the Empire is bassically the heir of the republic, Yuralen, Anakin´s old admiral in the clone wars, was among the moffs who died on the Death Star, from Vader´s pov the Rebels are the new separatist who are looking towards destroying the Empire just like they tried to destroy the republic before but Alderaan and many events before that, made him aware he needed to do more, that he could not keep himself closed off from the world, just doing his missions, obey Palpatine and whatever Moff he had to at the moment and this lead to his increased active role on Empire Strikes Back and his proposition to Luke to take over the Empire and put an end to the war.

This makes me remember how seeing Alderaan´s fate in Mortis, between seeing himself attack Padmé, his fight with Obi-Wan and the destruction of the Order, it was Alderaan´s destruction which finally broke Anakin in Mortis and convinced him he had to stop that future by any means neccesary before the Father made him forget everything.

I believe those connects neatly to show the change within Vader that started even before he knew about Luke´s and Leia´s existence and of course it had to do with the Empire, I see in Vader pre-ANH some similiraties with Freya from the Huntsman series, because his fall was so intimately connected to the reality of him becoming a father that losing his wife and his child in the same day assured him staying fallen, trapped in the darkside, in fact his Sith name could be taken to mean " Dark Father" Palpatine named him but the words came from the Force itself, so in a sense, just like Freya, Vader decided: "If he could not raise his own child, he will raise armies" so the Empire became the center of his motivation until he learned about Luke and still then, he planned to help Luke, help the Empire and stop the war because his fall so many years ago had to mean something.

[sapphic-haymaker]

Media Log #2: Armored Core 2!

Taking a leap into a whole new console with Armored! Core! 2!!

And oh boy!

this was kinda painful.

Armored Core Gen 1 post

The same game, but somehow less.

So. right off the bat. This game feels pretty alright. We've got pretty similar movement and controls to Gen 1, if a bit slower and pilots a bit smoother. Everything looks pretty nice for a Ps2 launch title. But once i'm past the tutorial mission, I see the Arena is open. I am possessed by a dark spirit to head straight into the thick of it, where I run into a major problem with the game.

All the arm weapons suck.

I'll find this is significantly less of a problem in the story mode missions, but in the Arena is where you're going to most feel it: Basically every returning weapon has less ammo and less damage. Technically weapon damage potential is a bit higher than listed due to a new mechanic where taking successive damage makes your mech overheat, dealing damage over time. But I found almost every arm weapon downright lethargic aside from a few.

I eventually landed on the MGSAW, which is the AC2 version of the same machine gun i cleared MoA on with [The Rook], it did not avoid the nerf bat completely. I think it fires slightly slower and it's damage has been dropped. But it still carries a whopping 1000 rounds and this game isn't bad enough that you can shoot someone a thousand times and they'll still live. This is my main gun for most of AC2's missions.

ACs are just generally bulkier in this new generation. Leading to the early arena fights, where you haven't figured out the damage sauce and the enemies are incompetently built, being absolute wet noodle fights. Shoutouts to the poor woman going by the callsign [Tomboy], equip with only a pistol, which i genuinely don't think could kill me if i simply stood still. It's a miserable existence out here on Mars.

I had never seen an enemy AC run out of ammunition in Gen 1, it happened multiple times with the first few Arena fights in this game. I definitely failed some missions due to my habit of not bringing a sword.

I think I did a couple missions upon running into the first somewhat competently built AC in the game, Werehound. But after doing that to scrap up a bit more money I went the distance and cleared the entire arena 4 or 5 missions into the game.

Small gameplay tangent:

At the start of the game, you're offered a choice between "Normal" and "Hard", I had heard some great things about Hard Mode missions in later AC games, so I immediately picked the option. After finishing it and finding it. not at all hard I googled what the differences was.

Not even the internet could consistently answer my question. It definitely makes your lockbox smaller apparently, some people also say that boosters consume more charge, but I can't find anything concrete beyond those two. These certainly make the game harder but I don't think it's in an interesting way. I wouldn't have switched off of it either way but what a weird design choice.

I did both Gen 1 and Gen 2 fully human. playing Human PLUS just does not sound appealing to me.

Missiles Missiles Missiles.

See. While all the Arm weapons have been nerfed. The back weapons are better than ever, due to Gen 2s being slower than Gen 1s, you can actually reliably hit people with missiles now (I swear it was easier to thread a camel through the eye of a needle than hit high mobility ACs with any sort of missile in Gen 1).

I think FromSoft realized they had created a missile meta cause there's a whole new slot called "Extension", over half of extension parts interact with missiles. A new part slot weirdly called "Inside" also lets you mount even more anti-missile defenses.

You've got extensions that let you fire more missile per missile, you've got extensions that fire missiles to counter missiles, you've got decoys to mislead enemy missiles, you've got missiles that split into more missiles. You will find more missiles in AC2 than you will find stars in the goddamn sky.

Meet my next generation gal, [Rock & Soil]! I originally envisioned her as another solid rock(heh) like [The Rook] from MoA but that quickly went out the window as I learned the game. I went with red, earthy tones cause I was actually pretty excited for AC2's setting change to a newly terraformed Mars! (I really don't think they did enough with it imho)

I went with RJ legs simply cause I hadn't spent a significant amount of time on RJ legs in old gen and wanted to try em out. They're fine.

This build is a damage monster. The Arena enemies are FAR tankier than anything in a mission, but they're still balanced around AC2's lower power weapons, being able to spam missiles absolutely decimates them. On top of this, there is a new mechanic in AC2 called "Limit Release", which lets you gain infinite boost for a long period of time, followed by a long period of having zero energy whatsoever.

I abused the hell out of this mechanic. Every single fight I would pop it and completely rush down the enemy opposition with a swarm of missiles. Either I win within the duration or they maul me when it runs out. And that VERY rarely happened. Enemies in the Arena use the aforementioned counter missiles pretty often. But they rarely matter. If i see that they are using interceptor missiles, I simply just spam my weaker missiles until they're out of counter-missile ammo, then rain down pain with my larger back missiles.

Here's what your average fight in AC2 looks like. Kinda beautiful.

It's So Easy…

So. While Arena enemies are full AP ACs, the enemies you'll find in actual missions are… significantly squishier. Genuinely everything in this game melts like butter. There's a very weird decision FromSoft made where if you encounter an AC in story mode, they'll have like 30% the amount of HP. Meaning that you take one look at them and they DIE. It's kinda funny how this is the opposite of AC6 where enemies are easier and squishier in the Arena than they are in Story.

They still do full damage, don't get me wrong, but i've found the AC2 AI doesn't have the Gen 1 bloodlust and they go down without much of a fight.

Aside from that. Almost all AC fights and important boss fights in general take place in cramped, crowded, tiny arenas. It's genuinely kinda baffling how they just don't let you have a nice open arena for a showdown, so the enemies can't move and dodge your fire and they go down quick due to being at such a crazy handicap.

If you want an idea of just how pitiful the enemies are in this game. The final boss went down in 7 lock-ons of a middileweight missile launcher. It has two phases, both went down in the same mount of hits. The entire final boss of the game, down in 1 middleweight missile launcher's clip. Actually laughable.

I don't think I had an awful time with AC2, it had enough setpieces and neat missions to get me along. but it definitely left me feeling wanting. So when I heard I had another AC2 game in store, I was dreading it, but little did I know just how much Gen 2 I had left in store.

Story Tangent take 2.

I kinda didn't vibe with the story of AC2. There's the usual political intrigue and corporations waging war on eachother, but it all didn't hit as much as AC1, I think it has to do with the aesthetics, AC1 is pretty dark and moody, there's an air of mystery to everything. Meanwhile AC2 doesn't have the same vibe, and goes in a weird science fiction direction where you're dealing with implications of ancient aliens on mars that i simply don't care for in my real robot media.

THE REAL AC2 STARTS HERE.

Welcome to AC2: Another Age! (i'll call it AC2.5 a lot) Unlike the Gen 1 games, I did actually load my previous save. I think scrapping for cash is absolutely a staple of Armored Core but i'll be honest I didn't wanna spend anymore time in Gen 2 than I needed to.

It's harder! Mostly! Kinda! Enemies remain their same level of bulk with some new enemies actually taking some shots before going down, unfortunately you're still stuck with AC2's not-great feeling weapon lineup. The most notable change is due to no Arena mode, enemy ACs are at their full capacity and they are definitely more aggressive at times. A particularly early mission throws two absolute powerhouse ACs at you with the condition that you could just ignore them and go for the objective. But. I'm obviously not doing that and rammed my head into them for a while.

What i've found is missile spam is absolutely still strong, but it's less viable when the game is throwing multiple high AP ACs with actual room to maneuver at you. Some missions will even throw up to three at you at a time and the arenas are big enough for them to move around in! For most of my AC2.5 run I started using the series mainstay Karasawa for the first time, which i think it, along with the Grenade Rifle which acts as a higher power, much lower ammo sidegrade to it i feel, is absolute king of arm weapons in this game. No contest.

50 shots isn't a lot but it was enough to get the job done for many, many missions.

Speaking of. AC2.5 is uh. unique. in that it has no story essentially, and is more of a mission pack addon to AC2. Thing is.

It's O n e H u n d r e d M i s s i o n s long

One! Hundred! 100! That's almost TRIPLE the amount of AC2 and significantly more than all of Gen 1 combined! What the fuck! So many of these use the same maps, enemies, setpieces, etc, that you genuinely will run the exact same map with tiny variants 4 to 5 times! And FromSoft is expecting you to be more familiar with the game systems. Did you know that Hovertanks can fly over water without instant dying? I sure didn't until I saw an enemy do it! There's missions that are literally impossible to beat without specialized builds.

A whole suite of missions take place on water maps, making a hover AC practically mandatory. Another required a lightweight build with really good energy/thrust, to the point where my middleweight build genuinely could not make a jump. I hope to see more missions like this in future games. I think it's great and very fitting for the genre to have to modify your mech for different situations, along with getting players out of their comfort zones.

Meet [Sky & Clouds], unlike most games I really did not have a predefined build for all of this. I was constantly changing stuff to suit the mission, which is really good and cool but god I wish I was doing it in a more interesting game. This is a particularly late game edition of [Sky & Clouds], designed to be able to fire the Karasawa as much as possible since other weapons really weren't an option.

This was an absolute SLOG to get through. God. I somewhat wish I just went right to AC3 but my brain wants to say she beat all AC games, so i toughed it out. I don't think I regret playing this game. There was some genuinely cool stuff and neat missions in it. But they're buried under the mountains of monotonous boring missions cause theres no way you can make an expansion like this consistently interesting and unique.

I've put some praise in this AC2.5 section just cause the bad parts are so underwhelming they're not even worth talking about in extensive detail. It's just. Long. Really long and boring.

There's also some throwback fights, two of which were pretty underwhelming (Stinger and Phantasma still eat shit easy), and the other two were absolute blasts. I think it's absurdly cool they throw a Gen 1 AC at you, complete with Gen 1 style movement and damage, just to show the difference in power. In the end the true final post-game mission was a nice lil treat to end the game on and get me the comedic "103%" completion.

I'm so glad to be done with 2nd Gen, it's a neat look at a weird transitional period from the PS1 to PS2, and i have faith that AC3 will be much more refined, mainly cause i've heard good things about that one.

2 Gens down (3 if you count AC6), 3 to go.

Doing these has been a very fun lil experience. I love typing out my thoughts into long rambles. I took a TON more screenshots this time around actively thinking about what to include. If you've read this you're wonderful and I am blowing you a lil kiss. Til next time! <3~

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

could we just have some general yiga husbands fluff?

We absolutely can!

"THAT'S WHY YOU DEADASS BUILT LIKE A BAKED BEAN!"

"A baked-A BAKED BEAN?!"

Kohga was hanging out with the royal staff. Not because he liked them or anything, but because he currently had NOTHING to do right now while he was waiting for Mipha to get out of her meeting with Zelda (they were gonna do lunch, his treat). He was currently fucking around with some of the royal guards, and they thought it'd be funny to roast the SHIT out of each other. This dude deadass called him a baked bean, and honestly, most unique fucking roast he's ever had. The other guards seemed to think so, given their loud hoots and hollers. It was a mad house, a few yiga members talking shit to the guards and vise versa.

Sooga was clearly impressed by the commotion when he walked back in with his tea. Sooga took a while in there, but he knew exactly why-Sooga didn't fucking know where they kept their shit in that kitchen. That, and the staff kept hitting on his man, and given Sooga's aversion to women, it kinda meant he deserved a little slack.

"I heard you all screaming from the kitchen. What are you doing?"

Sooga sat at their table, setting down the tea for his master. These were nice cups, he might just steal these.

"Oh my god Sooga, this fucking guy- he called me a BAKED BEAN. Can you fucking believe this?"

The man took a sip of his tea, and Sooga looked at him. Suddenly, Sooga brought his blade to his throat, and that put EVERYONE on edge, forcing them to take weapon. Sooga paid them no mind, looking at Kohga for confirmation.

"Shall I kill him slowly, let him drip blood, or should I make it quick, cut his whole head off?"

"SOOGA! No! Blade DOWN!"

"He insulted you!"

"It's a ROAST session, Sooga!"

Sooga put his blade down slowly, clearly not understanding, but knowing when a command was a command.

"Roasting? There's no roasting in here, nor the kitchen."

"No no, it's like, where you make fun of each other for fun! Watch me do this guy-I maybe shaped like a baked bean, but at least I don't smell like Bokoblin ass. But I mean, you gotta get SOMETHING from your mother."

More whoops and hollers, plenty of people yelling that he wasn't shit, his own boys telling them to respect their leader. Sooga nodded in understanding.

"Ah, so just. Insults."

"Yeah! You wanna try? I mean,"

Kohga nodded towards the guy as he sipped on his tea.

"If you can handle two disses at once. I've handled my fair share of d's, but not everyone can."

The man nodded, downing his drink in one go.

"Hit me!"

Sooga hesitated, before nodding.

"Alright. If my Master wills it, so it shall be. You look as if you've lost many loved ones, due to incompetence. You reek of shame, and failure, of many regrets that you cannot take back. One day, you will face your end, and your life will flash before your eyes. You will see your mistakes. You will want them to end. But the damage, your decisions, are final."

The room went quiet. The man looked like he was going through a fucking crisis, and one of his soldiers leaned into Kohga's ear, slowly.

"He just took a piss on the vibe we just set. What the fuck was that?"

"I got it, I got it-Sooga, no, it's like, playful. Not. Not that midlife fucking crisis shit. You make fun of his looks or his mother."

"I do not know his mother."

"Shit, surprised you know ANY women."

The men behind the guards snickered, and that sort of brought the energy back. Then one of them had a unique idea.

"Hey, why not have Sooga roast Kohga? Familiar territory!"

The other's looked uncomfortable at the idea, and that's kinda fair, anyone who talked shit about him kinda. Well, let's just say he demanded respect.

"Roasted by SOOGA. Alright, I'll allow it! I wanna see what you come up with!"

Sooga. Looked. So uncomfortable. It was kinda sweet, him hesitating like this.

"Uh...I do not feel comfortable with this."

"Sooga, it'll be fun! Come on!"

"...can I just use my weapon on myself instead?"

Kohga put his hands on his hips.

"Sooga. I COMMAND you to roast me."

Sooga looked like he'd disobey, but he nodded in determination. He'd NEVER refuse a command. He took a breath, and just went for it.

"Please, know that the words I mean are in jest. They say the gods bless us all with unique attributes and blessings. You were hit by the god of fucking up on a daily basis."

Kohga wasn't gonna fucking lie, that took him out of left field, and DAMN did that cause an uproar amongst them all. Sooga wasn't liking this, but clearly he was doing his best. Kohga straightened up, ready to give it to him right back.

"Alright, alright, piece of shit- you know why I like hanging out with you? Your ugly ass makes me look good my comparison, fucking 'I'm lovin' it' looking ass hair."

Both Yiga and guards laughed at that, clearly amused as all hell. They would've continued, but some other guard walked in, letting them know the king requested them. Kohga told them goodbye as they eventually left, and as he took a sip of his tea, Sooga turned in his direction.

"Master Kohga?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't make me roast you again. It felt...sickening."

Kohga chuckled. God, he was cute.

"Don't worry, one-time deal."

"Good. Now, do you...think I'm actually ugly? If my appearances isn't up to your standards-"

"Shut up, Sooga. You're fucking stupid, but you're not ugly at ALL,"

Kohga reached up under his chin, giving him a little bit of a scratch. Sooga melted into it, starting to put his weight into him. He was such a good boy.

"Happy?"

"Mhmm~"

"Good boy. Hey, Mipha."

Zelda and Mipha gave them an odd look, before Mipha giggled in clear amusement.

"Are we interrupting something?"

"Nah, he just needs like, a minute. Can't stop yet or he just gets clingy before bed. Zelda, you doing lunch with us, or you gonna do random princess shit?"

"I'd hate to impose."

Mipha scoffed.

"It's no trouble! I-wasn't there just a tea set here?"

"Nope-Sooga, come on, big guy, you get to hold the door open for us."

Sooga damn near bolted off the floor to get to the door, and god Kohga loved him, dumbass and all.

[ladybugkitten]

You've heard of weaponized incompetence, now get ready for...

Weaponized Competence ™!

In which I use my competence at something to make you like me! Maybe even to seduce! Either way I'll be so good at this thing that I'll leave you with your jaw on the floor and wanting to know me so ha

[apricusnights]

Chapter Thirteen: Worlds Apart.

Location: Council Hall, Capitol Square.

Larsen: "I told you this was a fucking stupid idea, but you all just decided to go ahead with it anyway!"

Ciar: "I assure you I had everything under control."

Cheshire: "Doubtful. You've been blaming the incompetence of the Bureau this entire time, but it was YOUR building, YOUR security that didn't live up to expectations."

Fisher: "The Bureau were handling things outside of the building. You'll have to forgive us for not anticipating the walking war machine that showed up."

Styles: "Like the one you've got under your thumb that you can just call in whenever you like? I don't think any of us fucking approved that last time I checked!"

Xanthos: "Perhaps we should all take a minute to.."

Larsen: "To what? Why are you even here, why did we agree to let you stay on this damn council. That whole checkmate bullshit was partially thanks to you trying to play with things you couldn't control!"

Lowell: "If I may interrupt, does anyone know the location of Lucianna or Merek? I haven't heard anything from them recently."

The spot usually reserved for Lucianna's hologram activated though in her place was Brother Julius.

Julius: "You'll have to excuse me; I've been rather busy as of late."

Styles: "Fuck off back to where you came from. Just because you're calling yourself the High Priest doesn't mean you're a council member."

Julius: "Perhaps that could be rectified. If you would consider my application to join the council in Sister Lucianna's place until she returns."

Lowell: "Do you happen to know where she is?"

Julius: "Unfortunately no, I am aware that she decided to take a sabbatical. I wasn't told anything else."

Fisher: "I highly doubt that.."

Julius: "Hmm?"

Larsen: "She said you're a lying sack of shit and everyone here knows it. Let me save you the trouble, your application is denied. Get the hell out of my sight."

Larsen slams his fist down and deactivates Julius's hologram.

Lowell: "Well..this has been productive..."

Several days later.

Location: Evergreen Theater, Evergreen Basin.

Lye: "Ok, you've been off this entire day. This is easy mode; we've done this play at least a dozen times. What's bothering you?"

Amias: "Most of your family is supposed to show up for this one remember?"

Lye: "What's the problem with that? Is Dad hassling you again? Listen, it's just his way. Least he hasn't challenged you to a fight or anything..yet."

Amias: "Lye, it's your brother. You know how I feel about Van. I try not to let it get to me, I know everything happened a long time ago. I know you're trying to move on but I just have this urge to punch him in the face every time I see him."

Mel: "Hun, a lot of people have that urge. Van has a punchable face."

Lye: "Not helping Mel. Listen, I understand where you're coming from.."

Amias: "Do you? I had to listen to everything. I can't count how many times I heard you almost having a breakdown while you were staying with us. I wanted to borrow a hatpin from my sister and jam it through your brother's eye."

Lye: "That's oddly specific. A hatpin?"

Amias: "You know she's a fashion designer. Plus have you seen a good hatpin? Those things are basically weapons."

Lye: "It's sweet that you were willing to maim my brother for me but I'm just asking you to put up with him for a little bit of time. He's..kind of trying his best these days."

Amias: "Yeah fine, I'll try and ignore him but if he makes one stupid remark.."

Lye: "It'll be fine, nothing is going to happen."

Mel: "Ok ok, places people. We're gonna run through it again from the top! Ready? Let's go!"

Location: Smokey Gardens.

Lazuli: "So you think the templars are still looking for me? Even after what happened a few weeks back?"

Styles: "Not as actively, pretty sure the shitbags have other things on their minds now."

Cordelia: "Probably best to keep you hidden out here for a little while longer. Least until we deal with the situation involving Julius."

Lazuli: "You really think he's just taken control? Would it have been that easy?"

Cordelia: "He was in the High Priestess's ear for who knows how long. He's probably brainwashed the entire templar order if our information is correct. I doubt any of this was easy, he likely worked years to get to where he is now."

Styles: "Piece of shit thinks he can just step in like that and nobody will care. Even tried to join the fucking council last meeting. I don't think you're very high on his priority list, but he'd still love to be able to control that power of yours."

Lazuli: "I don't even know how my power works. I can't control it, it just happened."

Cordelia: "I know someone who might be able to help you with that, but we can't risk it until Julius is dealt with and the right people are in charge of the church again."

Lazuli: "One last thing I've been wondering. Since I don't have a lot to do out here, I've been watching a lot of programs. Does anyone know what the deal with that white rabbit symbol popping up everywhere is?"

Styles: "White Rabbit?"

Lazuli: "Yeah, it flashes for a split second if you're paying attention.."

Styles: "Show me.."

Location: Guardian District.

Marigold: "This whole fuckin city was already a powder keg, seems like someone just cut the fuse shorter."

Miranda: "The council is blaming each other for what happened at the art exhibit. Cheshire and Ciar were arguing after it ended and almost came to blows. We need to figure out how to at least solve one of our problems."

Aryl: "Which one? Julius? The traitors? The masked man and Chimera? The fact that every other kingdom out there is practically pointing arsenals at everyone else?"

Marigold: "Everyone except Crepusculum that is. They've been more than happy to just supply anyone who comes knocking and has enough money to throw around."

Aryl: "You think they have something to do with..anything going on?"

Marigold: "Maybe but considering they aren't actively making any moves and are currently a little too cozy with the mayor, it's best to leave them for later."

Miranda: "They are currently considered an ally and we don't have many of those left. I don't want to risk pissing off one of the most technologically advanced places in the world just because of a hunch."

Aryl: "So what do we focus on?"

Miranda: "Julius, I already have a plan in motion, but I can't say anything about it. Never know who might be listening in, even here."

Marigold: "Hey Aryl, don't you have another date with Amelia coming up? Where you takin her?"

Aryl: "Uh she wants to go to some karaoke bar in the Diamond District..but I don't sing.."

Miranda: "Most people that go to those places don't sing. Don't sweat it, just try and have some fun. Forget about everything going on for a night if you can."

Aryl: "Yeah..guess you're right."

Location: Aurora Vale.

Laurel: "And explain to me again why we're on this case? This seems like a bounty hunter job.."

Donovan: "Aw come on sis, aren't you the least bit interested in this? It's unique!"

Laurel: "It may be unique, but I don't really know if we're equipped to handle this."

Blaine: "You act like we're even gonna find the guy..is it a guy?"

Catalina: "Dunno, but they robbed one of my shops and nobody robs a Darling and lives to tell the tale!"

Blaine: "Ohhh I like you!"

Donovan: "Little dramatic don't ya think?"

Laurel: "Everybody shut up, look.."

Laurel points to a monitor as she plays back security camera footage.

Blaine: "What the fuck is going on?"

Donovan: "Are they..singing?"

Catalina: "Look, pause it..right there. Person in the hooded jacket..."

Laurel: "How are they only there for one frame.."

Donovan: "And why is everyone else acting like they are in a musical or something?"

Laurel: "Did anyone interview them after this happened?"

Catalina: "Yeah, they said they didn't know what came over them. They don't even remember seeing anyone else walk into the place."

Laurel: "Well, Donovan did say this was unique. Let's get out of here, I wanna check the footage from one of the street cameras if we can get access to them."

Location: Upper Docks.

Larsen: "How long was she out there for?"

Viridian: "Patrol found her drifting, no clue how long it's been. She's a prison transport ship. She's got the Réunion flag flying."

Larsen: "Anyone left aboard?"

Viridian: "Apparently she was only carrying one prisoner. Crew is deceased, prisoner is currently missing. One of the lifeboats was gone."

Larsen: "An entire ship just to transport one prisoner?"

Viridian: "I got into contact with Réunion authorities. They refuse to disclose much information other than the prisoner is apparently referred to as "The Conductor".

Larsen: "The fuck kind of name is that?"

Viridian: "No idea, we don't have information in our systems and like I said, Réunion isn't really that willing to play ball."

Larsen: "Well isn't this just the cherry on top of the shit sundae.."

[the-firebird69]

And by the end of the day you're right this will be coming around the corner and our project is done and we are success I will have to say I did not take second fiddle even to this latest event no I had practically no attention now probably anyone can make it out there and it's not many people go out there now which doesn't make sense but that's true and here comes I did the job and I did it well and our son and daughter under massive dress and it's mostly this guy Tommy f and others mistakes and following his dogma and doing his dirty work and boy is he a big arrogant lug you seen her smiling and saying stupid things thinking I'm like congratulating over some dumb stuff not really your buddies there pal there's one after you you're an excited little kid for some reason to show off what you've done to people Anderson is correct and daughter you're a nutcase and you need to be put down you're a rabbid dog. I'm going to release a memo to hour and say that you should be relieved of your spot here and removed and they're probably going to approve it this is what you're saying you're insane we're not going to bow down to you because we expose you to everyone around you.

Nuada Arrianna

You're a nutcase Tommy f we're going after you with weapons and stuff stupid

Trump

Yeh stupid

Malory and you're Robert de Niro and you mix it up with us and you get nailed you see you getting nailed in the movie you see her disappearing you're going to make sure you're just. You can hit with a rock. Couldn't disappearing act okay stupid

I got to hit you and I got to hit you good so tired of watching you abuse him and you're such a f**** you think you made this Giants and then stick you

Woody harrelson

You have this Giants fight us you moron so we're going to take you down you're an idiot

Big Hawaiian

I did not so it took them over someone took them over

Tommy f

And who would that be Tommy f

Zues Hera

I don't know Trump or someone else is so incompetent he can't wash himself right

Tommy f

What the hell are you talking about you moron you're in so much trouble it's not even funny your own clothes when a PCU and just in here making fun of me you're a freaking idiot I know this is stupid stuff going around is coming from you and what you're saying doesn't make any sense

Trump

I'm a bit insane we're going to take it out of you people cuz I'm mad

Tommy f

Good after you tommy f we're putting once on you and we're going after you was force as a matter of fact the forces coming down now they're going to pick you up

Thor Freya

You didn't fall for any of that stupid s*** and you just kept on doing it and you're this annoying a****** you're like a fly in the room to him and you hardly recognize it there's something else that's wrong it's that you're completely incompetent Tommy f. I have to have you out of the way cuz it's sitting there friending and figure out things to do and he knows your stupid s*** you understand what I'm saying lot of people couldn't figure that out like us it's in there knowing it and he's f****** getting you he says stuff like nobody ever says that to me I'm going to make you f****** understand it I see you in a few days understanding it they want you out of his face and you're going to insist on bothering him and you can't we can't let you do it you have to leave and you too Trump you're in that case yourself for this guy's s*** almost all of it it's horrendous with you idiots are up to you took Dave's junk and you took some pair of Hilton's eggs and stuck them together this guy took your plan over and it's repeating you going to do it again down below the cities are you idiots man put his children who are gigantic I've never seen Giants this big in my life there's only a few of them compared to how many they were who the hell is what happened to the other ones they disappeared that's have to ask Tommy if he's blaming me again so we could go ask him

Mac daddy

I sent someone a mission and you should have heard about it they're like Stone chips and stuff and I guess I went after my own people

Tommy f

[urlocallesbiab]

tags via @generalized-incompetence:

#how did you post this on the day the assisfriedkin brainrot consumed me again

#my one rarepair offering is amanda and litzibitz but i have a million friendship pairings

#they're animated children's show characters to me and i am writing only filler episodes

#farah and estevez i think we've established but i haven't seen much fic about it (thanks kate though!!!)

#lydia and literally anyone. lydia and tina: shenanigans. lydia and farson: two children who tried to suceed where the adults failed. lydia #and mona: she just thinks mona's neat. lydia and hobbs: the father she never had.

#zimmerfield and wygar

#farson and francis!!! i feel like farson was a little bit of a francis stand in

#tina and panto and i also wanna say tina and panto's mom

#i feel like she would shock and appall panto's mom by like forcibly redecorating but eventually they would be wine friends

(this got way too long for prev-tagging it)

amanda and litzibitz!!! who knows maybe if amanda stayed in wendimoor to study extra magic..... maybe litzi would've snuck out to meet the mysterious witchacookoo... maybe farson would've introduced them! i think they would get along great, they're both very fierce young women willing to risk themselves / whats important to them if it means keeping people safe, burdened both by responsibility (the wise witch of her realm/the princess of her people) and by limited power to fulfill it (not enough control over her magic / over her father's decicions). what is shipping if not picking two characters with similar and/or compatible trauma and shoving them together! also given that i solidly hc manda as aromantic (and also bi and polyam but i digress) that makes me think what if litzi also was aromantic? 1 give it up for hot sapphic sex and friendship, 2 it's kinda funny to me to imagine litzibitz being on the fence abt her brother's relationship partially bc she just doesn't get why would he go that far for the sake of romance

LYDIA AND FARSON!!!! you're a teenager. your single parent has been keeping secrets from you. there's a feud that's been going on for years. you go out to meet up with the enemy: you want truth, you want peace, you want closure. it doesn't go well. you're kidnapped; your older sibling gets in trouble over it. your little stunt gets people killed. your body is changed in a way that's perfectly physically reversible but irreversibly traumatizes you. in the end, all is well, the day is saved and the problem is solved, but. you've gotten people killed. what's now, little heir?

in honor of tina & panto i tried to find more hcs from that one convo but it turned out we didn't share any, we were just picking roles for an omgcp au 😭 but anyway!! these two would get up to So Many shenanigans i know it. neither panto nor tina don't really need any more enabling as it is, but they'd absolutely enable each others and the amounts of bullshit would be Gorgeous. tina would hype him up bc she's a huge fan of hot people with weapons ("you're almost as badass as my girlfriend!"), and panto would have genuine deep respect for her skillset, and it'd be an iconic friendship! chaos queers at large: beware.

also on the topic of that au role assignements, i can't believe i forgot tina/amanda!! now That's a rareship. in that specific situation the ship wasn't actually prompted by "what would happen if we removed farah from the equation?", but in general i think that The most funny/interesting character dynamics can be achieved through taking a triangle-like situation (whether romantic or platonic or familial or whatever or a mix) and removing the centerpoint character, shoving the other two directly together. tina/amanda. silas & bart. panto × ken. todd × mike. NOW we're talking NOW THAT'S something!!! anyway i think that the fact that tina and amanda have never met and probably barely even heard of each other is the only thing that stopped them from instantly bonding for life. two bisexual weed-smoking musical subcultre girls in their mid-to-late twenties with debilitating mental and/or physical health issues and complexes over their older brothers, previously choking to death on boredom in their small and depressing enviroments and now getting embroiled in a terrible but exciting adventure larger than them? that relationship is writing itself!! y'all've heard about tina/farah parallels, now give it up for tina/amanda parallels!!!

on topic of tina & panto's mom, i don't remember the trosts having a mother? iirc they only had the father, jeppum, and the dengdamors only had the mother, lady frija. please PLEASE tell me you've invented a wendimoor oc for panto's mother and if yes PLEASE tell me about it i LOVE your hcs and incorporating them into my worldview

this fandom needs more weird and niche rareships. assisfriedkin, farona, mona/hugo, priest/adams, brotzman/estevez fans RISE UP i love eeeeevery single one of all so madly

honestly sound off your rareships in the notes i wanna see what yall got

oh and bonus round: people who hadn’t interacted once in canon but absolutely should've been friends (i will preemtpively mention tina & mona from kp's coffeshop au, tina & panto from i think that one conversation we had once, and bart & assistent from electricteatime's fic i havent yet read but heard a lot about)

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

Hello!!! I've been getting back into FE3H recently and the blue lions have been living in my head rent free sdgkfkdk

If you're not too busy may I have some hcs or a scenario (whichever you feel like) of mage!reader asking Felix to teach them swordfighting? Maybe they surprise him by incorporating magic into their sword attacks (like using it as a distraction or empowering their strike with magic?) I feel like Felix would be interested in someone with such a unique combat style lol

Sorry if this is too specific!! Feel free to yeet some of the premise if that makes it easier to write uwu

P.S. - I just love the way you write Felix!! You've really got his character pinned down and everything you write about him is so on point!!!! Keep up the great work owo!!!!

{Not me blushing because a stranger said I nailed down a fictional character’s personality lmao. I love writing for felix...he’s just so...”felix” lol. Not that I have favorites or anything yes, yes I do}

Edit: Okay so, I just finished this and realized you wanted FELIX to be the one teaching the reader and not the other way around. I am so sorry but I hope this suffices? I saw “felix interested in someone with unique combat style” and just went ham with this without double checking 

Request for @cattycattitude

“This is a waste of time. I should have known better than to ask you for help,” 

“Excuse me? Are you seriously blaming me for your incompetence?” 

“I’m only ‘incompetent’ because this technique is stupid and unorthodox” 

“Yeah, well this ‘stupid and unorthodox’ technique is the reason you weren’t shanked in the back last battle, am I right? or am I right?” 

Felix huffed in frustration, reaching behind his head to readjust his hair tie. (Y/N) had a point, he was the one who bugged them to teach him their sword technique. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever come across during his personal training, and after some prying he learned that Professor Byleth hadn’t taught it to them. Not every mage bothered with physical combat like swords, lances, or axes; yet, (Y/N) apparently enrolled with a near veteran level proficiency.  It was only natural he grew curious and wanted to learn. What he didn’t expect was for them to be so willing to teach. 

With a clatter they threw their training sword to the ground and stalked off into the storage room. Their footsteps loud as they briskly walked away from the argument, and for a moment he felt his lips dip to a scowl. Felix didn’t mean to come off as ungrateful, but he didn’t know how to contain his frustration. He meant to say that he was wasting their time, not his own. He was aiming to be a swordsman, what made him think he could learn a mage’s technique? 

“Enough with the wood. We’re going in strong and with a little tough love I’m certain you’ll get it,” His thoughts halted when cold steel was shoved into his hand. He glared at the weapon, clenching the hilt tight enough to turn his knuckles white.  

“Felix, knock it off. I mean it,” (Y/N) said, narrowing their eyes at him from across the room. 

“This isn’t going to work-” 

“I don’t get you. What is up today?” They cut him off, lowering their guard. Their brows crinkled in a way he only saw during strategy meetings, as if they were analyzing him. Almost as if he was fogged up glass.

“Normally you’re so determined. I saw you harass Bernadetta for weeks- weeks! Just to get her to help you. You always want to be the best you can be, and don’t give me that ‘unorthadox’ bullshit because you’re one of the most tenacious fighters here,” they paused, and he heard them gasp like someone drove a shiv into their back. “Is it- is it me? Am I just a bad teacher?” 

Felix didn’t know how to respond. He was a very prideful man who struggled with failure. He did want to be the best, and knew that he would be one day. He also knew he shouldn’t have taken his anger out on them, someone who only wanted to help him achieve his goals. It made him happy to be supported, yet multiple failures in front of someone he respected made him feel weak. 

Felix sighed, taking a calming breath before loosening his grip on the sword. 

“Show me again,” he said. he expected them to take their stance but instead they came towards him. He arched an eyebrow but caught a glimpse of how their nose and ears tinged red. 

“Let’s try something else. I want you to close your eyes” 

“What?” 

“Just do it,” they reached for his sword hand, wrapping their own around it and securing a grip on the blade. He complied, feeling their other hand rest between his shoulder blades. 

“Relax. Follow my instructions,”

“This is stupid,”

“No, it isn’t. Relax your shoulders but keep your grip on the sword firm. Don’t worry about form right now and focus solely on your weapon,” their voice was quiet, yet made the hairs on the back of his neck stand. 

“Do you meditate, Felix?” they asked, adjusting his grip to hold his sword straight. 

“No,” 

“You should. A balanced mind is a balanced body as well,” they shifted him again and he felt the tension in his shoulders release. His breathing began to even out as their calm tone unconsciously relaxed his guard. 

“Good, good. Has Byleth taught you any offense spells? Fire? Miasma? Blizzard?” 

“Thunder. My magic pool wasn’t strong enough to handle anything else at the time,” 

“Cast it,” they let go aside from his hand, and suddenly the air felt more cold. 

“What?” His grip tensed, causing them to rub circles on the back of his palm. The familiar heat returned, but accompanied by a tight feeling in his chest. If he casted that now then they’d get electrocuted. 

“Relax and trust me. Don’t think and just cast the spell,” 

“...fine,” He did think. Felix focused on the gentle hand drawing patterns over the scars on his wrist. He basked the comforting presence of his friend, one who he’d shared many fights as well as laughs with. Someone who believed in him enough to take his harsh words time and time again, yet still chose to deal with him after sorry excuses for apologies. He felt a familiar heat build in his stomach and grimaced as it flowed to his palm. 

He cast the spell, waiting for them to gasp in pain before giving up all together. 

“Now would you look at that! A mighty fine thunder-bade if I do say so myself.”

He opened his eyes and they were right. The steel sword had a thin coat of light emitting from it and practically reeked of conducted energy. It was impressive considering Felix never had a knack for magic, but what really did it over was the haughty grin his ‘teacher’ wore. 

“Told ya you could do it. Was I right, or was I right ?” Their laugh rang against the stone walls, and if it was anyone else he may have shocked them for payback. 

“You were right,” he chuckled, moving into a combat stance. Their grin only grew, and his eyes creased in admiration when they ran to get their own sword. In a split second it sparked to life with fire, much easier than the long process he had to go through. 

They were a good teacher, and a great solider. One someone prideful as himself would eagerly spend the rest of his life with, fighting or otherwise.  

[boydiisaster]

I've got another one for ya!

So I heard you like writing Felix 👀 how about Felix giving the reader a massage after kicking their ass in training the previous day all the while muttering about reader's incompetence w self care and how "you're supposed to stretch after training gods you're an idiot"

Meanwhile reader has a smug look on their face and is teasing Felix for being so soft and "aww so you do care ;)"

Dsfjgkdjf honestly just wanted a reason to tease Felix bc he's so fun to tease XD hcs or scenario is okay whichever you're in the mood for!! Thank you uwu 💕

Felix the softie (Felix x Reader)

reader: gender neutral

fandom: fe3h

author's note: yes yes yes yES YES YES- AAAAH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD PROMPT THANK YOU 🥺💕

You skid across the dirt floor. Rolling, you slam into the cart of weapons that Felix rolled in here before your sparring session. Wooden swords and lances fall atop you. You cough, sputtering, the wind knocked out of you. A shadow looms above you, and suddenly the warm tip of a training sword lifts your chin up. You open one of your eyes to see Felix's stoic face.

"Nine to nothing," he says, then removes his sword from under your chin. "You've really lost your spark, Y/N. Where's the moves you preformed on that dark knight back in the holy mausoleum?"

"Shut up, Felix," you grumble, forcing yourself to stand, even though your entire body begs you to not. You pick up your training sword, brandishing it toward Felix.

"Again," you huff.

Felix shakes his head and lets out his signature sigh. "Y/N, if I keep beating you like this I'm going to start to feel bad."

"Impossible," you make your move to charge. "Again!"

Felix jumps out of the way before you can land a hit. He swings his sword, the hard wood slamming into your side. Pain rushes through your ribs. You falter, nearly falling over again but barely able to catch yourself. You turn around just in time to catch Felix attacking. He tries to bring his sword down on your head, but you block it. Your grip loosens on your weapon, and Felix notices. He takes his chance. One swift kick later and your sword is laying in the dust. Felix's own sword is at your throat yet again as you hold yourself up with the thanks of the wall behind you.

"Ten to nothing," Felix says, and you scream in frustration.

"How are you beating me this badly?!"

The ravenette shrugs, focusing on the weapon in his hand. "I don't know. Maybe you just suck?"

You growl. Instead of unleashing all your anger onto him like you wanted, you push yourself off the wall and hug your midsection as more pain erupts through you.

"I'm going to go shower. Bye, Felix."

And then you're gone. The training grounds feel a lot more lonely without you. Felix stutters in his movements. He reaches for you, but immediately brings his arm back to his side, realizing it was too late. He stands there awkwardly, wondering what to do before groaning to himself.

"Y/N, why do you always have to make me feel bad?"

There's a crick in your neck when you wake up. Your whole body is sore, aching as you move to stand up from your bed. You almost fall as you lift yourself up.

This was because of yesterday, wasn't it?

You grumble when you remember how badly Felix beat you. You were covered in sweat and muck, filled to the brim with embarrassment, but the warm water of the showers made you feel a little better. Maybe they'll help again today?

You force yourself up and move to grab your academy uniform when a knock sounds from your door.

"It's unlocked," you call, then snag your hairbrush from off your dresser.

Felix opens the door, hesitating. He should just leave, right? This was a stupid idea. Why should he have to make up with you? Why does he want to make up with you?

"I said the door's unlock-"

You stop talking as soon as you see Felix's face. He looks angry, like usual, but his eyes show this weird softness in them as he looks at you.

You blink. "Hello Felix. Do you need something?"

Felix doesn't say anything. He closes the door behind him as he moves inside your room. His eyes do a quick sweep of the area before he points at you, (still without meeting your eyes, might I add.)

"Sit."

You furrow your brow. "Felix, I-"

"I said sit. Right there, on your bed, facing away from me."

If you blinked, you'd miss the pink blush that was spreading across his face. But you were too confused, and it was too dark to fully notice and appreciate. You do as Felix says, placing your things down and awkwardly sit facing away from your friend. Your window was opened, so you choose to stare out it as Felix shuffles up behind you.

"I'm... sorry," he starts. You feel his hands on your shoulders as he starts to rub your bare skin. It feels... surprising good.

"For what?"

"Yesterday. When I made fun of you."

Felix continues to give you a much needed massage. You let out a content sigh as his hands work on the aching bundles of nerves in your shoulders.

"Felix, it's okay."

Felix momentarily stops, and you think he was just planning on doing this until you forgave him, but then he starts up again. You can feel his hands shaking as he does so, though.

"W-why do you feel so stiff?" he grunts.

"For one, you did kick my ass yesterday," you roll your eyes. Felix lightly slaps your forearm.

"Secondly, I didn't stretch before we sparred."

Felix is quick to slap you again.

"Y/N, are you an idiot?! You know you're supposed to do that! It's like you were begging for this to happen! You know that you can pull a muscle if you don't stretch, right?!"

You turn around, and you can't hide the smirk that plays on your lips. You feel giddy, unexplainably happy.

"Felix, do you care about me?"

Felix stops his rant. His cheeks burn a dark red. He won't even meet your gaze. He's so embarrassed, all Felix can imagine in crawling into a deep, dark hole and dying so that he doesn't have to face the fact that he actually cares about you. Even worse, you now know that he cares about you!

"What? No. Gross. I-I mean you're an idiot. You're st-stupid if-if you think I actually ca-care about you! You-You're just a good fighter is-is all...."

There's an awkward silence before you start to laugh. You just can't help it, Felix was so cute like this!

"Awe, Felix," you tease. "You won't have to be so flustered! I like that you care about me."

"I don't care! Shut up!" Felix hides his face with his hands.

You take your chance. Grabbing his wrists, you pull his hands away from his face and press a kiss to the tip of his nose.

"I care about you too, Fe."

There was that damned nickname. Felix could die on the spot from how embarrassed he was. With your teasing combined with the fact that you just kissed him, the ravenette feels like fainting. He was the one supposed to be teasing and making fun of you, not the other way around! Why were you doing this to him?!

You gingerly take Felix's chin in your hand. Guiding him over, you press another kiss to his cheek, then to his forehead.

"You really are just a softie in disguise, aren't you Fe?"

Felix was going to die.

[the-nerdy-goddess]

Innocence

A little Loki blurb I did because I needed a little break from my FATWS book which is already halfway done!

Warnings: mentions of torture but nothing too bad

Marvel Masterlist l Main Masterlist l Requests

I did my best to stay still in the shattered marble as my magic started to wind it's way through my body. Now that the Other's mind control was gone, my magic was unleashed, although I feared what might happen if I used it for anything other than healing.

Thanos would know of my failure and would eventually come for me. I'd sabotaged his plans, giving way to the Avengers to rise and take control.

Had the mad titan sent someone other than his puppet, Earth might be subjugated at the moment.

I managed to open my eyes, blinking hard as the sun filtered in through the broken windows. In front of me stood the mighty Avengers team.

"You've lost Loki" said the man suited in metal armor. Tony Stark, I believe. He was rather smug as the rest of his fellow comrades held some sort of weapon toward me, all except Thor who was looking at me with a level of disappointment.

"Silly mortals" I closed my eyes in relief. They weren't as incompetent as I originally thought. "You think I've lost, when I won"

"Why do you speak in riddles brother!" Thor demanded. I looked to him now, a laugh bubbling in my chest, although it hurt to let loose.

"Don't you think if I was really trying to win, I would have?" I struggled to push myself into a seated position, my own body protesting the movement. The Avengers looked at me with a mixture of confusion and suspicion. "I lost on purpose! Had I failed, this world would have wished something as sweet as death."

"And you suddenly care so much about earth?" Bruce Banner raised a skeptical brow. "Aren't you supposed to be the god of lies?"

Rolling my eyes, I sunk back carefully into the crater. "I care not for earth but for Asgard, had Midgard fallen, then the nine realms would have followed soon after. Stopping the attack here, remedied the situation"

"Who threatens the nine realms brother" Thor knelt down next to me, silently pleading with me to expose the truth.

"It's much more delicate than simply saying the name Thor" I took a deep breath. "When I fell, I was found by the chitari."

Thor paled at the implications. "No, brother, he is dead"

"Not as dead as we all believed" I supplied.

"Can someone fill us in on who this 'He' is and why he's so bad." Tony asked impatiently.

Thor turned toward his team, his face ashen. "My brother was under the control of someone we thought to be a legend. One told to children to make them behave. He speaks of Thanos"

I flinched at the name, wanting to get away from Thor for even saying it, as if he would suddenly know where I was simply by uttering his name.

"And why is Thanos so bad?" Romanoff quirked a brow in suspicion.

I ignored the redhead, trying to get my oaf of a brother to understand the gravity of the situation. "He probably knows what I've done and is coming for me"

Barton narrowed his eyes. "What is it exactly that you did?"

Feeling some strength fill my muscles, I slowly stood, despite the Avengers raising their weapons in defense. I moved toward the island and leaned against it. "I manipulated everything, including taking control of Agent Barton's mind. Once I heard your director fury refer to him as the best agent, I knew I needed you, although it really was just luck that you happened to be so close to a member of the team"

"You killed Coulson" Stark crossed his arms.

I looked to him, confused. "The agent that was in the room where the hulks cage was, is that correct?" At the nod I continued. "He should be alive. I merely wounded him, although midgardian anatomy might be different than I thought. I stabbed him in the shoulder"

"Why should we believe you?" Steve Rogers, who had up until now been quiet.

"My wounds go far beyond this battle" I began, unhooking the chest plate to my armor with one hand, pulling it away slightly to show the damage done by the Chitari. "They tortured me until I was broken enough for the Other to reach into my mind. Then they gave me the scepter to strengthen their control"

"And then the hulk hit your head hard enough to shatter the control" Romanoff nodded to herself, gesturing toward the crater in the center of the room, Barton rubbed his forehead while the other Avengers looked to her confused. "I had to give Barton a concussion to snap his mind control"

So it's not as fool proof as the Other claimed it to be. I inwardly smirked in victory. "After I was captured, I realized that if I could band the six of you together, you might be able to stop the invasion."

"So you manipulated everything from the moment you got here" Bruce Banner summed. I nodded, pulling my chest plate back into place. My magic was slowly mending the torn flesh and it needed some sort of protection.

"If this Thanos person is so powerful, why didn't he come here himself?" Stark questioned.

Swallowing, I forced the images of the mad titan out of my memory. "I was a pawn in a much larger scheme. He intended to see Earth’s defenses, you all have proven to be formidable foes.”

Over the next several hours, I strategized with the defenders of Midgard, gaining their weary trust when they realized I was nothing more than a victim manipulated by a power hungry tyrant.

Marvel Masterlist l Main Masterlist l Requests

[blackreaders-assemble]

One Bad Day

Jerome Valeska x black!reader

Warning ⚠️: murder, blood, slight torture

A/N: I'm a whole slut for Jerome! Enjoy! ❤️

💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜

"Stupid bitch!" I screamed and slammed the door.

I kicked my shoes off and threw my purse on the floor. Jerome came around the corner and looked at me like I had lost my mind, and honestly, I feel like I'm going to.

"What's going on," he asked, he sounded like he was trying to hold back a laugh.

"I hate that fucking cunt," I seethed. My fist were clenched so tight that my nails were digging into my palm and drawing blood. Jerome was speaking to me but I couldn't hear him over the sound of my heart beating wildly and my blood pumping. He grabbed my shoulders to stop me from pacing.

"What happened?"

I took a deep breath and began to speak, "My boss, Karen, fired me because her fucking coffee wasn't exactly right and something happened that wasn't even my fault but she blamed me anyway," I said in one breath. "She's had it out for me for months. I just -- I wanna --"

My eyes widened at what I was about to say. Jerome grabbed my chin and made me look at him.

"You wanna what?" He whispered.

"Kill her."

A huge smile took over his face and he cackled loudly, "Now you're speaking my language."

He took my hand and lead me outside. We got into the car that he'd stolen the previous night and sped off to my ex boss house.

**

We sat outside her house for an hour to make sure she was alone and that no one would be paying her a visit. Not that it really mattered, they would just end up dead too.

"Ready, dollface?"

"Fuck yeah."

We got out of the car and opened the trunk where I retrieved my trusty bat and Jerome got his favorite gun. When we got to the back door, I pulled a bobby pin from my thick hair and picked the lock.

"You're really good at that," Jerome praised.

"I learned from the best," I said with a wink. We entered the house and found Karen in the kitchen putting something in the microwave. I cleared my throat to gain her attention. She turned around quickly and gasped.

"Surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me."

I kicked her legs out from under her then started beating her with my bat. "You dumbass bitch! How dare you fire me, I was your best employee," I hollered. I hated this woman with a burning passion.

I watched her roll over on her hands and knees and cough up blood, all the while, Jerome is in the background laughing.

"Well, we're off to a good start," he said. He grabbed Karen by her hair and dragged her to the couch and made her sit. Jerome pulls out a knife and make little cuts all over her. Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears and I was enjoying every minute of her suffering. Every whimper and cry of pain made me feel incredible. Thin trails of blood trickled down her arms and legs and I giggle uncontrollably.

Jerome then stood up and looked down at her with disgust, "Now, you've done a bad thing, a very bad thing. You upset my girlfriend," he said slowly before he gripped her hair tightly and yanked her head back, "no one upsets my girlfriend," he yell in her face.

I loved when he got like this, it was a major turn on. He cocked the gun and placed the barrel to her temple as she released a shaky breath.

"I believe you owe her an apology."

Her eyes turned cold then, and she sneered at me, "I don't owe her shit! She's incompetent and a complete failure!"

My anger returned with a fucking vengeance. Jerome tsked at her and shook his head, "You shouldn't have said that."

He pushed her on the floor then handed me the knife. I quickly straddled her before she could move and Jerome held her hands.

"You're fucking insane," she yelled at me.

"We all could go insane with just one bad day," Jerome chuckled.

I slowly ran the blade gently over her cheek then whispered in her ear, "You won't be missed."

I began stabbing her repeatedly and howled with laughter. She began choking on her own blood and her eyes were slowly rolling back.

"Time for the big finish," Jerome hollered.

I slit her throat and her blood sprayed all over me. I've honestly never felt so alive and free. I grabbed Jerome by the back of his neck and crashed our lips together. He bit and sucked on my bottom lip, making sure to draw a little blood like he always did. He pulled back and caressed my cheek.

"You look absolutely gorgeous covered in the blood of your victim."

Before I could respond, we heard police sirens heading our way. We quickly gathered our weapons and ran to the car. We sped off into the night, cackling like the maniacs we are.

[laureleikirsch]

you've heard of weaponized incompetence, now get ready for: weaponized incontinence

[broken-hearted-butterfly]

I had a dream where I saw her again. We'd barely said hello to each other when her mother continued pulling her along, preparing to drop her off somewhere, somewhere I hadn't been since I was 12, in this dream I was 17, how old I'd been when I had my last major interactions with her, her mother reminded her that her own mother would be stopping by for a day, we were immediately on the road with no pause and there was someone I'd never met and did not recognize with us, I panicked when I realized I needed my face mask for an indoor crowd

She already had so much going on, and I was never truly accommodated. Merely just tacked on, not added to the machinery as a gear itself but rather thrown between them. I realize now why I'm having such a hard time letting go of this summer's events, this June's specifically, and it combines with the fact that I haven't spoken with her in 3 months. I reached out, only to be met with silence. I accidentally defaulted on a medical bill and she never answered when I asked if she'd seen any mail for me, at her house, there would have been 4 different letters sent and I know she's the only one capable of actually retrieving mail. I'm not about to refer to a doctor at incompetent, but when it's a running joke that you can't even cook an egg and only get the mail when it's an absurd number of name brand shoes or handbags mere inches outside your door, well, it certainly gives an idea.

Her mother never respected my being a trans man. I was told behind her back how, even after explicitly telling her, she thought the act of me using another name was strange. She told me that my abuser wanted me to be kicked out of her house, and confrontation made her feel icky and upset so she would not be capable of defending me. She'd witnessed abuse of her own daughter, and it baffles me, to be in a psychiatry field and to have witnessed it so close to home, to see someone from a family you've known for years flat out say to you "I've been abused and I need help", to bear witness to all of this and proceed to do nothing. I simply don't understand. Uncaring from working so many cases with the suicidal? Could be. The sheer magnitude and gravity of what I'd been grappling with went completely unrealized.

I'd been friends, very close friends, with her daughter for nearly a decade. It couldn't have always been like this. She's notoriously bad at keeping up via text, the most interaction I ever had with her was in high school, when we physically saw each other every day. We barely spoke after beginning college. I thought I'd fallen for her and was encouraged to tell her; rejected as expected, plus I hadn't begun any formal transition process either, so the sexuality elements were scattered across the board. Nearly a year to the date, she got a boyfriend and my heart sank. I almost never heard from her. We saw each other once a year if we were lucky. She saw him every day and he took such a greater priority. "I can't talk to you and eat lunch and hold my boyfriend's hand at the same time". We had a mature conversion about how left out and abandoned I'd been feeling. She ended up deciding they were better off as friends and I felt a wave of relief.

I'd been prepared to move in with her, spend my life with her, because my entire childhood had been so deeply founded on mockery and isolation from others that I got so very attached to someone who actually connected with me in any way, shape, or form. I never knew if she thought about me the way I thought about her, if she ever worried or wondered or planned. I broke out of this mindset when I realized I didn't even know her political beliefs. I'd stressed to her that there are policies that directly affect people like me and choices that can increase general risk for someone who is visibly queer, but she treated it with the same weight as a favorite color. Politics drove me out of my house when they were used as a hateful weapon against me.

Just tacked on. I've since realized that I've consistently put more into this relationship than I've gotten out of it. It couldn't have been like this for the entirety of the rough decade I've known her, right? It couldn't be. Am I lying to myself? Has she always been this way? She was the only friend I had left when I shattered under the weight of my abuse. I don't think it was always like this. It doesn’t take a lot of time to say hello to someone or answer a yes or no question. Not even a holiday wish, where I know she's home, playing games and likely working at her mother's office as well. I know, I know, I know, and yet I choose to not reach out. It just no longer feels worth it. Is it worth it to make a salvage attempt? It doesn’t feel so. I've learned why I haven't been able to let go and move on.