#you're trying to build a healthy relationship with the /wrong fucking guy/

[je-suis-problematique]

I would have rooted for Chris if he'd try to shoot his shot with Lucian or even Darius or Guts but that slut is dumber than a rock.

– Cain

[utilitycaster]

Going from that ask asking about Widobrave not having it's codependency discussed, i didn't watch untill the first 50 episodes started, so i missed most of it, but i was mostly a Nott/Veth enjoyer for the rest of the campaign, and one of the reasons why Widobrave wasn't dissected as much is in great part because it was not a popular ship, and the majority of the fandom's take was "she is like his adopted sister/daughter, wait no she sees herself as her mother? Let's not unpack this further as to why she says this to the group and take this as fact, also it doesn't matter because Caleb has a crush on (X character)"

And lets not forget that when she revealed to Beau her crush on Caleb, people here were going about how she is actually emotionally cheating on her husband, or how it's actually Veth not understanding her motherly affection, or "how dare she try and get in the way of Caleb and X's relationship!" Or worse arguably "oh Sam! That silly guy!" Undermining more of her character

I feel like, in it's own way, it's similar in that Ashton and FCG's relationship isn't discussed, it's not popular. I am aware that it's not in any shape or form an equal comparison, in that Ash and FCG's dependency isn't as deep-rooted as Widobrave's and i read it as mostly platonic, however i wanted to use it as an example because i have read extensive analysis for almost all BH ship dynamics, but maybe 1-2 posts last year lol

I mean, yes, I think that the popularity is a big part, and that's something I touched upon, and I agree that there was a lot of criticism of Widobrave that I suspect anon missed out on by perhaps not being in the fandom during Campaign 2, or perhaps they were but have since forgotten, or (like me) didn't follow the main tag as much during Campaign 2 but began doing so more closely in Campaign 3.

But more importantly I think that if someone feels like Imogen and Laudna's relationship is being treated unfairly in comparison to Widobrave...they should write a post about why they think Imogen and Laudna aren't codependent, or a post about why they think Veth and Caleb are! Like, I don't agree, and I don't think there exists the textual support to make this claim (at least, I don't think that there's a good argument for Imogen and Laudna having a healthy relationship nor that one can reasonably claim Caleb and Veth are codependent at the end of Campaign 2), but that doesn't mean someone can't make an effort.

It's just like...of all the ways of contributing to fandom out there, I feel as though meta is the most accessible! If you're not seeing your opinion out there...write it! Look, there's some opinions I see and I think are fucking terrible, but my response is to say "okay, why don't I like this? What do I think is wrong about it? Can I put that into words in my own separate post? Can I build upon that and make it go beyond just This Take Sucks but actually come up with a compelling argument in favor of my opposing view?" and then I do. It's fine to just complain - I love complaining - but on anon into the inbox of someone who already disagrees with you isn't the most effective place, and this is really a case where the power is with anon to be the change they wish to see in the world. Go forth and write the meta you think is missing! That's literally all I do and it rules. You can't write meta with the goal to change hearts and minds because you don't control other people, but you can at least put the opinion you wish more people understood out there and see if they go "oh yeah! great point!"

[earnestly-endlessly]

hi! hope you're doing well :) do you have any domestic!cherik fics? or established relationship ones?

Hi anon, thanks for the ask. I'm doing very well, been super busy because I'm currently moving but it's all good. I have plenty of great domestic/established relationship cherik fics for you. I hope you enjoy!!

Domestic/Established Relationship cherik

Daycare ‘Verse’ – orphan_account, pocky_slash

Summary: A modern AU in which Charles runs a mutant daycare and Erik is his long-suffering engineer boyfriend.

Runs in the Family – Anonysquirrel (chibirisuchan)

Summary: Alex knew his own reputation. Hell, he'd started some of his own reputation, because it kept some of the smarter thugs off his back. Everyone knew Alex's reputation. There was no way Hank didn't know his reputation, but he'd brought Alex into a house with some really expensive things and a lot of innocent little kids and his too-friendly, too-harmless dad.

But clearly Hank hadn't told his family anything about Alex, just like he hadn't told Alex anything about his family. At least, not about the brain-breaking parts of his family.

"I didn't know where to start," Hank said, for the dozenth time.

Gift of the Magi, But Screw it Up – librata

Summary: He doesn't know if he's buying too much, too little, or even the right things at all, because he's never entertained a guest as important as Edie Lehnsherr.

Making perfect – aesc

Summary: As is the case with most trials in Erik's life, this one starts with Charles gazing beseechingly at him and asking him for a favor. Not that their going-on-three years relationship is a trial, even though it started with Charles giving Erik the full benefit of sad blue eyes and asking him if he wouldn't mind opening his car door since he'd locked his keys inside, but still.

Continue firm and constant – aesc

Summary: Moira hasn't seen her old partner in saving the world from threats human and intergalactic, Erik Lehnsherr, for a few years. When she finally does see him again, she finds a man different from the one who's been with her down in the dark and the dirt and the blood... or maybe he isn't so different after all.

After School Special – listerinezero

Summary: Charles was barely seventeen and Erik was his social studies teacher. But after almost fifteen years together, does it really matter how they met?

Terrifying Domesticity – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is the most dangerous and notorious mafia boss around for miles, and yet the strangest things terrify him.

For example: his children, and his very pregnant mate.

Trying is Half the Battle – Pookaseraph

Summary: Post-Cuba, no divorce, Charles and Erik are in an established relationship and when Charles gets sick with a random flu bug, they discover that Charles can get pregnant. They then try to get pregnant, and try, and try.

We’ll all be gone for the summer – pocky_slash

Summary: Charles and Erik's usual family beach vacation gets a little bigger when they agree to watch Erik's teenaged twins for the summer. Charles is looking forward to a chance to bond with his step-children. Erik is terrified of screwing them up even more.

A Summer Day So Late in Coming – helens78

Summary: Fifty years after they fell in love, Erik comes to Charles with a proposal that rocks Charles's world.

Still Going Strong – JackyJango

Summary: Speaking of forty-eight, Erik hates it. Hates it even more that others are aware of it. While he’s pragmatic enough to know and accept that aging is inexorable, the increase in number gives the people around him the freedom to pounce at him with questions, opinions and advice he'd fought to keep at bay all year.

Besides, Erik believes that youth is a state of mind, not a phase in one’s life.

You have a child’s mind in a man’s body, Charles constantly tells him.

But despite his age, Erik is healthy. He works out daily. His muscles are steel and he can dead-lift four hundred pounds. He can break bones without breaking a sweat. Most importantly, he can still carry Charles to the bedroom and fuck him senseless. And as long as Erik can do that, he’s perfectly happy.

Before You Attempt Me (Fair Warning) – kianspo

Summary: Charles helps Raven get ready for the prom. Surprisingly, that part goes well. The prom itself not so much. Erik cooks a lot of unhealthy comfort foods and is incredibly patient. Charles mostly frets about everything, until Erik does something neither he, nor Raven see coming.

And now you will not be alone any more – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik gives driving, sewing, and cooking lessons, soothes nightmares, bolsters self-esteem, and still can't figure out why Charles keeps smiling at him like that.

Some sense of touch and a melody – pocky_slash

Summary: On a day when Charles, for once, finds himself saying the right thing to everyone he sees, he allows himself to be talked into a field trip to a local orchard.

It’s kind of our whole thing – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: After two years of best friendship, Charles and Erik thought they knew everything there was to know about each other. They're surprised, then, when their first summer as a couple reveals that they have a lot to learn about each other and themselves.

Indulgence – grim_lupine

Summary: “The children are still asleep,” Charles murmurs groggily, flinging an arm out as if searching for Erik beside him. “The house is still standing, this is a ghastly hour, and more importantly, I’m still here. Why do you insist on doing this every morning?”

Your Father’s Daughter – ConsultingWriter

Summary: Wanda proves just how much she takes after Erik.

Pietro reeled back before leaning back in "They didn't tell you what happened? Wanda got in a fist fight and totally wailed on this guy, I mean, on one hand I feel kinda embarrassed for him, but it was so epic."

Erik's eyebrows shot to his hairline. Wanda got in a fight? That was....surprising, to say the least. Wanda tended to take after Charles in temperament and preferred talking to violence.

This Crazy Game Called Life – chiasmus

Summary: Raven declares game night in the mansion. Sean finds an elephant, Erik inherits one hundred unwanted cats, and Charles scars Hank for life with misdirected dirty thinking. This is five thousand-something words of crack with a dose of schmoop. I'm not sorry. Written for this kink meme prompt: Raven is tired of the boys going off to play chess (if they're even playing chess!) and pulls out a load of board games from one of the closets in the mansion. Madness ensues.

To my roomba with love – sareyen

Summary: There are a lot of things that Erik loves about Charles. He loves all of the obvious things; Charles’s kindness, his intelligence, his laughter, his eyes. He also loves the little private things; the way Charles sneaks Erik his unwanted tomatoes, his warbled opera singing in the shower, that sensitive spot on his hip.

And he loves the silly things about Charles, especially the way the man has a habit of talking to inanimate objects when he thinks no one is looking. Charles has conversations with the kettle, the washing machine, and their roomba – and every time Erik eavesdrops on him, he falls in love with the man a little bit more.

Everything About it is a Love Song – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik's spent fifty years being a figurehead and he's ready to leave that behind. Luckily, so is Charles.

(aka Old Retired Dudes in Love)

A Very Xavier-Lehnsherr Christmas – zamwessell

Summary: Erik is discovering new things about Charles Xavier all the time. Charles sometimes talks in his sleep. Often about food. Occasionally in Latin. Charles has a scar on his left thigh from attempting to demonstrate relativity to a girl by sitting on a hot stove. Charles doesn’t mean to be so loud when they make love, but sometimes Charles can’t help himself.

Charles is a voracious reader. Charles has an unspeakably filthy imagination. Charles will try anything in bed twice to make sure he wasn’t wrong the first time.

Charles is unexpectedly fond of Christmas. Perhaps that is not the phrase. “Unhealthily obsessed” might be better.

The fluffiest holiday fluff you ever read in your dang life.

Of Crabs and Castles – flightinflame 

Summary: Charles and Erik take their children to the beach. Wanda builds a sandcastle, Nina makes some friends, and Pietro gets some exercise. Some family fun in the sunshine.

Bring Your Daughter To Work Day – listerinezero

Summary: Charles brings three year old Lorna to class with him.

Glasses – grim_lupine

Summary: Charles blinks at him bemusedly, but Erik barely notices because Charles is wearing glasses— wire-rimmed, and Erik can feel the metal humming, traces without touch the way they follow the curve of Charles’s nose and rest behind his ears.

Genetics Isn’t Sexy – pocky_slash

Summary: Charles lectures. The kids aren't very responsive. Erik, on the other hand....

Peanut Butter and Honey (The Fairytale Remix) – pocky_slash

Summary: Once upon a time there was a Princess named Anya who lived in a house with her Daddy and her wicked stepmother Charles. (A wicked stepmother is the person who comes and lives with princesses and their daddies after their mommies go away.) She had a best friend named Leroy, and one day he was lost.

The Bystander (The Consultant (aka A Westchester Telepath in the Avengers Tower) Remix) – Nanimok

Summary: When it comes to Professor Charles Xavier, telepath, SHIELD consultant and compulsive flirt, no one is safe.

Not even the Big Three.

[fairycosmos]

i sometimes feel such a blinding uncontrollable rage and hate towards my mom when she does these small things and it makes me feel so guilty but also like. she really did fuck me up so i might be in the right? i dont know. she keeps doing me wrong and refuses to learn and its incredibly frustrating and annoying and god. i wish i hadnt been born lol wish i wasnt in this position

ugh same, i barely even have anything productive to say about it because i'm in the exact same situation and i feel the same guilt and i go through the same relentless arguments/conversations w her. and i can't say a thing about it to anyone because she's grieving and she's hurt and she's mentally ill so that makes me the bad guy right off the bat, i suppose. anyway. ultimately i think mother-child relationships are more often than not, really tense and full of unsaid hurt. this typically gets expressed via anger at smaller things so it's def not unusual or something you need to crucify yourself for, though obv it's good to exercise catharsis of that rage in a healthier way. though i know that's difficult.

i always think to myself like. my mother was the adult, back in the day. and SHE fucked up. and now we have this mess of a life and of a relationship because SHE shouldn't have had kids and SHE doesn't learn and grow like - a lot of people will probably disagree w me on this part. and that's ok. but i honestly think the burden ppl take on when they CHOOSE to become parents is one of total responsibility. acceptance of the knowledge that most of the shit you and your child put each other through IS your fault. you raised them, you failed them, you brought them into this world and you lead them to where they are. so if you're frustrated, and it's because there's been this whole lifetime of your mother not listening, not trying to understand you despite all of that - then who is that a reflection of, really? you know.

it's just annoying. i think to outsiders looking in, they always see this sort of thing as an even playing field, with bratty children disrespecting their parents because they enjoy it. the entitled younger gens or whatever their narrative is. but there is always something deeper underneath that rage, always a sad let-down kid at the heart of it. also, if she keeps fucking you over, then the natural reaction to that is to be angry. it's good that you're angry because it means you know you don't deserve it, it means you know there's more waiting beyond it. i am really sorry you're in this position too, and i'm sorry it's all so hard. i really hope you're able to build a life (and a healthy support circle for yourself) divorced of her shitty influence, even if it takes forever. at a certain point i think you just disconnect and start living on your own terms, even just within yourself and your own head. sending u a huge hug. x

[ichigoromi]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧| 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 | 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆

Alright, just want to put out there that I do NOT SUPPORT cheating. I'm going to write one where I might just lash out at OMI. Hmm, I don't like cheating for personal reasons, but I just don't think it's right.

So, for my previous post, I want to clarify that he did not full-on kiss the close friend but maybe like a lip to lip touch only; that was what I was going for initially.

Now, I want to write something that really hurts because I'm just reminded of something.

But, this post might be triggering and sad.

Warning (s): mentions of cheating, strong language, hospitals and breakups.

a/n: omg i didn't know i was going to write this long. just's a heads up, i used the she/her pronouns!

Enjoy...

Sakusa Kiyoomi

You felt like your relationship with Sakusa was slowly breaking down.

It was becoming toxic for you and him; it was not working out like last time.

When you guys fought in the past, you two would make up the next day, but these days, he stays out and comes back once every few days.

You tried calling him and even staying up to wait for him, but he never came home.

All the stress from your work and your relationship problems were becoming troubling for your body.

Still, you want to make this relationship work. You have been together with Sakusa for five years, almost half of your youth.

You two have been with each other through ups and downs; you guys can work this out.

Or so you thought.

It has been weeks that you tried to meet him and call him to have dinner together so that you two can have a proper conversation and makeup.

He never replies to your texts or calls.

When you are out at work, he only returned to the apartment to collect a change of clothes and belongings.

You noticed that his stuff was slowly getting removed, and you dread the worst.

Hell, you really wanted to confront him and ask him for the truth.

How did you two end up in this state?

You confide in your best friend that you consider as your sister from another womb. Since you only have brothers.

Your boss was being extra generous and gave you half a day off, considering that you have been overworking and decided to make his favourite dinner.

You bought tons of food so that you two can bond again and work the problems out.

It was a good day, and you were feeling hopeful.

Oh, hell no.

You felt your stomach dropped as you noticed the familiar pair of heels and that customised sneakers.

You heard giggles and moans.

There he was, half-naked and full-on making out with your best friend that you consider as your sister.

She hurriedly stops Sakusa when she noticed you.

Your knuckles were turning white from your grip.

"So this was why you have been avoiding me? I see two of my best friends hooking up. Ah, you must be glad that I was a fool so that you two can fool behind my back, huh?" You let out a bitter laugh and took a deep breath.

"How long has this been going on?" You asked the two of them.

"Six months."

They have been seeing each other for six months, and you spend all your tears on these two people you trust the most. They were your world.

"Was it fun? Hmm, Hanari? Tell me? How was it fucking your best friend's boyfriend knowing all of our relationship problems? Six months...I can't believe it. I must look like a fool where I pour my heart and tears to you about my relationship, and you two were fucking behind my back." Your eyes have gone completely dull, and the tears were threatening to spill.

"Kiyoomi, I was the one trying to work things out and trying to make this relationship work. What about you? I know that you are tired from your practice, and you could not even bother trying in this relationship?

How about me, huh? I am exhausted from taking care of patients and trying to please you. Was this relationship all about you?

Hanari, I know you like him since high school but just didn't have the balls to confess before I did. I felt bad, but now, I don't. But, as my best friend, how could you?

I am over this. Enjoy my sloppy seconds, Hanari. I hope you two are happy. Thank you, you assholes."

You flipped them off and turn your back on them. Before you even reach the door, you felt a sharp pain on your right cheek and taste blood in your mouth.

"Well, I guess you can't even handle words that you need to resort to physical violence." You threw her a nasty glare and walks out of that apartment and both of their lives.

Once you reach your car, you collapse on the car seat in excruciating pain.

It started when you confront them, and you felt the sharp pain in the lower right side of your abdomen. You could not raise your voice at them as it worsens the pain.

Your hand trembles as you reach for your phone to call someone to come and get you as you can't drive due to the pain.

"Oh, why are ya callin' me? Did ya miss me?"

"Tsumu, can you come to the parking lot in my apartment building? It's urgent." You requested, trying to pace your breathing.

"What's wrong? Are ya okay? Hey, I'm comin', hang in there."

You ended the call and laid back on the seat. It hurts so much that you feel like fainting.

Though it was only a ten-minute wait, it felt like ages for you.

"Oh lord, I'm glad I pull Samu along. Can ya walk?" He asked you, and you shook your head. He tries his best to make a minimal movement, but he sees you grimace at every small movement he makes.

Osamu got behind the wheel, and Atsumu cradle you close to his chest.

You whimpered in pain and clutch on to his sweatshirt tightly.

"Where's Omi? Didn't he went home earlier to get ya?" You shook your head, tears slowly trickling down your cheeks.

He knew something was wrong but decided to not probe you anymore.

You were immediately wheeled in, and Atsumu were left to handle your paperwork. Osamu sighed and started contacting his girlfriend that he might not return back today.

Hearing that you were hospitalised, she told Osamu that she would be driving up there.

Atsumu tries not to show his nervousness, but as his twin, Osamu clearly knows that he is distraught for you. Your boyfriend was supposed to be here, taking Atsumu place, but instead, he was nowhere to be found.

You were in so much pain that you could not even drive and had to ask Atsumu, who is an amateur driver.

"Doctor y/l/n requires immediate operation since she has a ruptured appendix. May I know who is her next of kin?" The assistant doctor asked and Atsumu followed after him to wrap up the paperwork for you.

Atsumu watches you slowly breathe in and out in a constant manner and gently brushes your hair away from your pale face.

He called and informed Sakusa about your hospitalisation, but his teammate just told him that he was just exaggerating and you were just down with the flu.

You were still in a deep sleep from the anaesthesia.

"Hey, how is she?" Mira, Osamu's girlfriend, asked Atsumu.

"She just came out from surgery about three hours ago. So, she's still asleep. Her brothers are coming tomorrow." Mira lets out a sigh and gently holds your hand.

She heard about Sakusa from Osamu and almost wanted to storm to his apartment and drag his ass here.

"I think the two of them broke up. She called me and asked me to pick her up, and she was hunched over in pain. Sakusa left practice early saying that he was going to pick her up, but it was a lie."

Mira lightly pats your hand and heads out of the private ward.

After Mira left, you squinted your eyes and grimaced at the faint pain on your right side.

"Oh, thank the lord you're awake! Do you know how worried I was? What happened between you and Omi?"

"We broke up. He cheated. I'll be fine." Even though you say that you would be fine, you can't help but feel the hot tears spill.

Atsumu pulls you to his chest and pats your back gently.

"Hey, I'll be here for ya. Don't ya worry, 'kay? Don't waste yer precious tears on someone who doesn't deserve it. Take care of yourself, 'kay?" He gently wipes the tears away from your cheeks and places a light kiss on your forehead and heads out of your ward for you to rest.

It's all going to be okay, you still have other people that care for you.

He never came to the hospital to check on you after you collapse in the parking lot. In fact, he released an announcement about the breakup.

Your brothers held back a lot when they went to pick up your belongings.

Atsumu offered for you to temporarily to stay at his place until you find a place for yourself.

You knew that Atsumu has been by your side this whole time and his feelings for you, but you just need to confirm it.

"Hey, ready to go?" He arrived just in time.

"Tsumu, I want to ask you something and you have to be honest with me." You pats the empty space beside you. He sat down beside you and you took his hand and held in your small hands.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

He froze and blinked at you.

"I know. Since a long time ago." His face fell and he braced for the rejection that was going to happen soon.

"Loosen up. I'm not ready for a relationship yet but if you can wait, I'm taking that confession."

Atsumu's expression lights up and he threw his arms around you, careful to avoid your stitches area.

"I'll wait! No matter how long it is, I'll wait for you!"

Alright, I hope this does not change your mind about Omi. ITS ALL AN IMAGINATION. I love Omi with all my heart but I had to break to y'all the harsh reality. Being cheated is never pretty and with the right support system, everything will all work out fine.

This has been the alternative ending that I would have written for my previous post.

Thank you for reading.

Stay safe and healthy!

With love,

Rosalie🍓

[askaborderline]

Tw heavy suicidal ideation

Hi it's server anon again... Just want to vent and possibly get advice/reassurance? If you don't have the energy it's fine. I think I wasn't being fair when describing my situation, bc I did throw several tantrums there that made everyone uncomfortable and avoid/distance themselves from me, which is understandable. I've unloaded a lot of heavy stuff like self loathing and heavy sui ideation and I don't always tag/spoiler them which is my own fault. So no it would not be plausible to set up a friends only server because everyone i like talking to there like them more and I've already made myself the bad guy by being inconsiderate and throwing tantrums. I'm also told that i don't seem to be able to respond well to ppl reaching out to me... Always accusing them of secretly hating me, which makes sense to the more childish part of myself, who has been coming out more and more lately than my mature side. I just keep wanting to lash out because I'm not getting the results i want and it's frustrating bc it's like no matter what i do I'll be hated. Even though I know that's not the case and ppl are rightfully wary bc I'm just stupid and emotionally immature and insane. And now I'm just forced to deal with the consequences that i deserve and it just? Sucks. I keep digging my own graves. I'm so bad at being normal at friendships and i feel like I'm hardly ever in control of myself when I get triggered and it fucking sucks. I'm trying hard to be better at being normal esp after getting sev wake up calls but it's just. Lonely. And suffocating. And it's hard not to believe the little voice in my head that it will forever be like this. And it's my own doing and there's no way to fix it and every time people get cold or distant or perfunctory with me even though I know it's because i understandably exhaust them, because dealing with someone who constantly questions their motives and sincerity is exhausting. I still feel sick and nauseous and i just kept feeling like it'll always be like this, and I'll just be forever lonely and it's better to just jump off a very high building you know hahaha i know it's literally not that dramatic. I know this. Rationally i do. But it's so hard to convince that childish part of myself. It's like. I'm trying. I really am. I know it's hard to believe but i am. But often i wonder whether it's all really worth it when a leap would probably just end everything

Hey anon,

I completely understand where you're coming from. I spent the better part of a decade alienating all my friends, lashing out at everyone around me, not letting them get close bc I kept telling they'd fuck off anyway (and they did, predictably, when you keep telling them that), stealing money to feed my addictions, and constantly traumadumping and leaning on people without their permission - I think it's hard not to lean a lot into these behaviors early on with BPD, especially when you don't know you have it (which is how it was in my case).

You have an advantage here in that you do know you have it, which means you can combat it. The sad reality I have to say though, is that you may have to make new friends. Sometimes there isn't necessarily anything wrong with the old ones, but you may have burned bridges and that may not be a possibility anymore. And I know that's a horrible feeling and it just kind of makes you want to be swallowed up by the world, but that's not what it has to be. You will find new friends, and you don't have to erase your BPD to do so, you just have to let out those feelings and thoughts in a healthy environment. You don't have to bottle everything up - find people that are happy to let you vent (ask beforehand!), journal, look into DBT, play shooters or throw pillows at the wall to get your anger out, let yourself cry, etc. BPD Is not the end of healthy social relationships, you just have to put in more work to accommodate it.

And yes, that's not fair - no one should have BPD, no one should be forced to deal with it, and it's an absolutely miserable experience. But it's also not a reason you should die either. I may not know you, but I promise that you have worth, that you have value, and that you don't need to go to so drastic measures to make the pain manageable. It will never fully stop, but you can find yourself content, and you can even find yourself happy. Euphoric, really, bc the one bright side to this emotional dysregulation is that it makes the good moments better too.

Please keep fighting. You're worth it. You can come poke me here or at @fearofahumanplanet if you need anything else. I'm rooting for you.

[marchtomydrums]

The Rules 13

Alex Cabot X Reader

Rated M

It's been about a month or so since you and Alex started dating. The bond between you two is strong and growing each day. The days are getting colder as we go into December. Alex refuses for you to walk anywhere in fear of you getting sick. She even offered for Grey to become your permanent driver in hopes that she could keep you safe and healthy.

It's early in the morning when you arrive on campus immediately searching for Tara. You haven't seen her in a few weeks due to the time you spend with Alex. You knew Tara was upset with you but you hope she’ll understand when you explain things to her. After a lengthy discussion, you and Alex decided that it was time to tell Tara about your relationship. Of course, leaving out the payment part. You prayed that Tara would understand and even be happy for you. However, your gut was telling you it wouldn't be so easy.

You finally run across Tara in the cafe eating breakfast with Josh and Eddie. You smile waving to your friends as you approach the table. “Hey guys,” you say enthusiastically. The boys give you a small smile before leaving the table. Tara sits in silence as you sit next to her.

“Hey T.”

“Hey.”

“Listen I know we haven't talked in a few weeks but I was hoping we could catch up today.”

“Oh, now you have time for me?! What's the deal y/n? You disappear for weeks you're never home, not returning my calls or the guys. You decline any invitation we give you. You haven't even talked to me and now suddenly you have something to say?!” she muttered angrily trying not to disturb those around us.

“I know. I know T. I'm sorry. I've been wrapped up in my own drama. I'm sorry.”

“What's going on y/n?”

“I met someone. We've been together for a while now. It's a complicated relationship and I'm sorry that I haven't been around.”

“So what you dropped me for some pussy?!” she asked.

“What..no. It's more than that. T, I love this woman.”

Tara snorts shaking her head “ you won't show any of the girls here the time of day and now suddenly you're in love.”

“I told you it's complicated. “

“Yeah, I heard you. Listen I have class soon. I'm happy you found love or whatever but that doesn't excuse you from being a shitty friend. That's what you're a shitty friend.” she says getting up from the table. You quickly followed behind her grabbing her arm “ Tara I'm sorry. I...” Tara swings around quickly “no!” she yells causing others in the cafe to focus their attention on us. Looking around she whispers “ no! I have always been there for you. Whatever you needed I was there. My life has been falling apart for the last few weeks and where were you?!” she asked. I sigh blinking rapidly trying to hold in my tears. “I'm sorry,” you whispered. Tara chuckles “well you're right about that.” As she goes to walk off you grab her once more “Tara I...” “fuck off y/n!” she yells walking out of the cafe leaving you in tears as everyone around you watched.

Walking out of the cafe you called Grey asking him to meet you out front. Grey is waiting as you round the corner. Quickly getting out of the car he opens the door letting you in. Once he's back in the car he turns in his seat “Are you alright Ms. Y/n?” he asked. “Just take me to Alex please.” you cried. Grey nods his head driving you to Alex’s office. Once you enter the building you call Alex. After two rings she picks up “hey babe. Aren't you supposed to be in class?” she asked chucking. “Where are you?” you sobbed into the phone. “In my office why? What's wrong?” she asked? “ I'm coming up,” you tell her hanging up the phone. As soon as the elevator doors opened Alex was standing there waiting. “Oh honey what's wrong?” she asked. Saying nothing you walked out the doors and into her arms. She held you there for a moment running her hands along your back. “Come on honey let's go to my office,” she tells you leading the way.

Once you were inside Alex locked the door and closed the blinds before joining you on the couch. “What happened?” she asked brushing your hair out of your face. “Tara and I got into an argument. She's really mad at me. She said I was a shitty friend. I've never seen her so upset with me.” you tell her. Alex sighs listening to you pulling you closer to her chest. “I'm sorry I just showed up but I didn't know where else to go,” you mumbled into her chest. Alex cradles your face in her hands “hey..don't apologize. It's okay, you can come here anytime you like. Okay?” she asked with a small smile. You nod your head pulling your face from her hands leaning against her. Alex smiles leaning back against the couch pulling you with her. “I don't know all the details but she’ll come around. It will all work out and I'm sure she didn't mean what she said. She was just angry. “ Alex tells you. “But she's right. I am a shitty friend. I've been lying to her this whole time. And I wasn't there for her. I am a shitty person.” you cried harder into her chest. “Shh. That's not true and you know it. Things happen y/n people get busy life gets busy. The two of you just need some time to cool off.” she tells you. You nod your head leaning up to kiss her. She moans into a kiss holding you in place by the back of your head. Pulling back slightly you whispered, “thank you.” She smiles “anytime my love.”

[laynemorgan]

I was wondering if you'd be willing to expand on your comments in a recent ask response about healthy relationships/relationship conflict and what makes for the most compelling TV. I'll admit that my gut reaction was a hard disagree; I usually find ever-conflicting relationships tiresome and love to see healthy relationships modeled. But after taking a few moments, it's easy to see there's a lot space for nuance and variety (e.g. the overall level of volatility/stability of the relationship, conflicts about the relationship itself/people in it vs. a conflict exterior to the relationship which the people in the relationship have differing opinions on, etc.). In the end it may just come down to personal preference and perception of realism. I'd love to hear more from you on it.

For me I just think purity culture has gotten a little extreme when it comes to television and movies. I'm not super into sit coms or comedies, and I don't love like overly lighthearted TV that's currently popular. I just mostly find it boring. I like drama, and soaps, and shows that get into messy things. I totally get that for some people the escapism of that stuff is great and that those shows are not always purely vanilla, but for me I like things more complicated. I like relationships where people screw up and make mistakes and grow and are bad for each other and good for each other and get things wrong or right or whatever. Because to me, that stuff is super human. None of us are perfect. We will all at some point be harmful to someone else or do something "toxic" or hurt someone we care about or screw up. Great relationships, IMO are built on the ability to figure out your conflicts and issues. and great storyline is built on conflict and growth. On being able to build something over time and see how characters change each other or change themselves or work together or fall apart. It's an exploration, IMO. I think the only time that toxicity in relationships really bothers me is when it seems like the writing doesn't understand that what the person is saying is a flaw of theirs which as I've noticed tends to happen most with like "nice guy" type characters or nerd guy type characters. But one of the things that's really driven me away from a lot of recent queer television is that the relationships are too easy. They happen too fast. They're never allowed to have issues. That's just not interesting to me. I remember watching season 2 of Dickinson and actually enjoying that like ... Sue and Emily for most of the season were fucking MESSY TO EACH OTHER and not handling shit right and doing destructive stuff. I also think that it's silly to call human flaws and relationships conflict toxic. When in reality most relationships are built on learning to navigate each other's needs and faults and communication styles and such. My mom used to say that you'll never know if you can stay with someone until the first time you argue. Because arguments are where you learn how you communicate when you're upset and how you understand each other or not and what you do to fix it or not. Anyway, I'm sure it's more complicated than that but to me it's the push and pull that makes TV relationships interesting. It's the screwing up and falling apart and finding a way to come back together, and coming back together at the wrong time and ahving it be messy, and then hurting each other, and then the guilt that follows and wishing you could fix it and trying again, etc etc etc. That's story and human and complicated and dramatic. That's what I like. There's no right or wrong to it, IMO. Everyone likes what they like. But for me personally I find little value in relationships that are always conflict free and characters that simply know how to perfectly communicate their feelings and get everything right.