#you're not an elder you're 30

[kezcore]

i hate to break it to you, millennials, but gen z does, in fact, know what dvds and cds are. we grew up with them. we grew up with a lot of stuff y'all obsess over, actually. not my fault all the tech companies collectively decided to get rid of dvd players

[dramatic-dolphin]

every time i see someone call themselves an elder queer and talk abt "young gay people" like they're not one of them it's always someone in their 30s 😐 you are not an elder.

[ofdeference]

@gcldfanged asked: Don't mind him, he's just going to take a seat in Tseng's lap and play with the elder man's tie.

Pen rests against the curve of his fingers, pinched between index and thumb. The report, apparently, can wait. Dark locks fall as an ebony waterfall over broad shoulders as his head tilts, regarding his new adornment with a curiosity unmatched. Honeyed gaze drifts from eyes, to lips, to hands. He abandons his work to lean back and watch.

"If you're bored, I could find something for you to do."

[thelunastusco]

To all young people in the queer community, the ND community, the plural community, and especially those in fandom, I give you this blessing and this curse:

I hope you live to reach 31 years old. And I hope you keep living.

[jadedbirch]

Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:

- shorter time between periods

- irregular periods

- hot flashes and/or cold flashes

- fucked up sleep

- OMG NIGHT SWEATS

- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert

- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants

- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times

This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.

Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:

- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.

- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.

- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.

- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.

- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀

- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)

- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).

I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.

Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)

Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!

[manty-monster]

the ageism on this website is insane

Oooo scary old ancient evil women, ooo she's in her thirtys, practically an immortal witch from the dawn of time.

I hope none of you have a community when you're 30 years "old". This is why young queer people don't have elders or role models or support or family.

[sejianismodding]

🎁 [BG] BUGFIX - Update 7/23/2024 broke our bodies. Update 1/28/2025 didn't fix us. This affects everyone!

☠️ REMINDER: Double-check the OP for updates!

⚔️ Requires - TS4: Base Game

☄️ Repackaged - 9/21/2024

🚀 Initial Release - 7/30/2024

🎁 Download & Discussions: https://www.patreon.com/posts/109088001

🗺️ Modding Announcements: https://www.patreon.com/posts/109291501

🐞 My BUGFIXES Collection: https://www.patreon.com/collection/884858?view=condensed

💬 EIGHTEEN (18) Deformer Maps that control the shape of our bodies were broken with Update 7/23/2024, resulting in our spines deforming horribly.

💬 All sims aged TEEN through ELDER are affected by this but you will only see it under certain circumstances:

The deformities are not visible when wearing Frame-appropriate clothing.

Cisframe sims will see it when wearing clothing that was made for the opposite Physical Frame.

Transframe sims will see it when nude or wearing "default" underwear and also when wearing clothing that was made for the opposite Physical Frame.

📸 New screenshots from the upcoming Mod The Sims mirror:

💜 @xandezsims said I could nick the animated thingamajig. Danke:

💜 You're welcome and thanks for the engagement!

[bonefall]

Warrior Bites: Dietary Needs

[ID: A fish carcass, bird carcass, and mouse carcass on a stone slab.]

Are you wondering how much prey a Clan needs a day? What they should eat to stay healthy? Why food processing is useful at all? All the answers to these questions and more, contained within a general guide to dietary needs for your Warrior Cats!

As an obligate carnivore, a cat's entire diet revolves around processing meat. More specifically, the ideal diet should be 55% protein, 45% fats, about 1% to 3% carbs, with the remainder being various micro-nutrients. You can expect the average 10-pound warrior to need 350 calories per day, about 3.5 mice on average.

I've also included a section talking about obesity, which dives into how canon's depiction of it is both harmful fatphobia and wouldn't make sense from a cat perspective. It also discusses obesity in realistic cats; and how you're free to choose the realism on that aspect.

Below the cut;

Caloric Intake

Nutrition

Food Processing

On Obesity

Caloric Intake

The general rule for how much a cat needs to eat is that an active, non-neutered tom will need about 35 calories per pound of their own body weight, per day, just to remain the weight they are.

That means that the average warrior, assuming they are 10 pounds, will need 350 calories a day.

Kittens, pregnant and nursing cats, and large warriors will need to eat more than average. Neutered cats, elders, and clerics/medcats will eat less. There are calculators online for determining how much an individual will need, but you can estimate how much an entire Clan will need just by taking 350 and multiplying it by population!

Assuming the average population is about 30 cats, that's 10,500 calories to feed a Clan for a day! To put that in perspective, that many calories would feed 7 large humans. If you felt like fighting a group of angry cats to steal their day's worth of mice, I mean.

Generally speaking, land prey will have a caloric value around 5 calories per gram. Aquatic prey is significantly lower, around 4 calories per gram. Birds will be just below 6 calories per gram. To find out how many cats a piece of prey will feed, or how many pieces a cat will need that day, take the category and multiply by the prey's weight in grams.

So for example, the average house mouse is 20 grams and it is land prey, meaning its caloric value is around 100 calories! A warrior will need 3 and a half mice a day to stay healthy, and a Clan will need 105 mice daily to support 30 cats.

105 mice may seem like a lot, but remember that a wild rabbit is 1,800 grams on average which means 9,000 calories. 2 big pieces of prey will feed the whole Clan, with leftovers.

Those estimates include every part of the animal. Cats eat organs, small bones, and even skin. Skeletal muscle, or "fillets" in reference to fish, is so low in calories that it's typically somewhere between 1 kcal to 1.5 kcal per gram. That's what you're buying in the supermarket; but wild animals don't usually cut their food into choice strips.

(unless you're writing a clan that does food processing of course!)

QUICK FACTS

Average warrior will need 35 calories per pound of weight

10 pound warrior needs 350 calories a day

350 x 30 cats = 10,500 calories to feed a Clan for a single day

Birds provide the most calories per gram, land prey the middlemost, and aquatic prey the least.

Calculate calories in prey by taking the weight, converting to grams, and multiply by 4, 5, or 6 depending on broad category.

If you're having trouble feeding a Clan on small animals, look at bigger prey like rabbits and trout.

Muscle fillets are inferior to organ meats and have a much lower caloric value.

Nutrition

Not all food is the same. The more important thing to consider about any particular meal is NOT its calorie count, but its nutritional value. This is especially important to cats because protein is not stored as fat. If the body has no immediate use for it, it's flushed out.

Since cats should not eat more than 3% carbs, ALL of their fat stores will need to come from fat.

The ideal piece of meat would be at least 55% protein and 45% fat. Every individual species will have a different ratio, and more importantly, individual cuts will have a different ratio.

Skeletal muscle has a higher ratio of protein to fat. Organ meat, also sometimes called "offal," will have a more balanced ratio. That said, nearly all meat skews towards protein. PURE fat is very hard to find on the sorts of animals Clan cats hunt, and must be carefully divided, collected, or processed to make sure all warriors are getting proper nutrition.

I'll be going more in-depth with dietary fat at some other time, as this guide is meant to just be an overview! Just know that some Clans will need to eat MORE food to stay healthy because of this.

Cats need more than the "macronutrients" to stay healthy. They can't JUST rely on the juiciest cuts of meat to keep their health intact, they also need several vitamins and minerals to support their body functions, and avoid getting a deficiency.

Here's some of the important micronutrients, where to get them, and what happens they don't get enough;

Vitamin A: Livers, mealworms, eggs This is one of the most important micronutrients in a cat's body, used for practically everything. Without this, their coats will grow dull, and their joints stiff, and they'll start to go night-blind. In a severe state, they'll start to lose the ability to heal skin lacerations and die. Pregnant cats and kittens need more of this than usual, but it IS also possible to get vitamin A poisoning from getting too concentrated of a dose.

Calcium: Bones, eggs With a calcium deficiency, the warrior will feel stiff and sore, and experience painful muscle spasms. Most cats will simply crunch the bones of small prey and never have to worry about this, but if your cats cook or scavenge, they have to be told to NEVER eat the bones of a roasted bird. Because bird bones are hollow and cooking makes them brittle, they can splinter and cause fatal internal bleeding.

Thiamine: Trout, boar meat, mealworms, eggs Called a Fish Seizure because raw carp and raw bream contains thiaminase, which will destroy thiamine in the body. Lack of thiamine will cause neurological issues, such as the aforementioned seizures, general confusion, memory loss, and muscle weakness. This can be counterracted by eating trout, which is so high in thiamine that there's a theory that carp evolved it specifically to eat salmonids better.

Potassium: Trout, boar meat, mealworms, eggs As cats get older, they begin needing a lot more potassium for their bodies. It's a very common micronutrient found in most meat, but elders should get the first bite of special snacks "out of respect" which helps keep their potassium level up. Without it, they become very weak.

i feel like that evil struthiomimus from land before time with how many times i typed eggs

QUICK FACTS

The ideal ratio of a cut of meat is 55% protein 45% fat

Organ meat > Muscle meat

Micronutrients are important

But micronutrients can also cause poisoning if, somehow, they're too concentrated (very hard to come across concentrated micronutrients without the science of chemistry tho. Like if a cat swallowed a vitamin gummy.)

Food Processing

"Food Processing" is when you do something to your food before you eat it. Just a little bit of care is going to go a LONG WAY when it comes to health of the warrior.

Cats that eat raw meat the way canon warriors do are almost guaranteed to get worms. Roundworms, hookworms, and tapeworms are all passed through the infected tissue of rodent prey, and in fish, roundworms, tapeworms, and flukes can pass through raw meat.

All parasites do something a little different, but most digestive worms aren't fatal unless the cat is sick or a kitten. However, nearly ALL of them screw around with digestion, making the cat need to eat more just to stay healthy, or causing stomach irritation. Some of them can even pass in milk, infecting a suckler's nursing kits.

The easiest way to reduce this kind of infection is simply to slice the prey open from mouth-to-butt, Tigerstar-style, and hook and lift out the GI tract before eating. There's nothing in that worth eating raw anyway. It can just be discarded, or cleaned out and used to case tiny sausages! But it's only a reduction; there's still a risk of catching worms from raw meat.

There's also always the possibility of getting salmonella poisoning.

Many believe that cats are immune to this, but that's not true! Carnivores just have a shorter GI tract than omnivores and herbivores, so salmonella spends less time in their gut and ergo has less chance of causing an infection. It still happens, ESPECIALLY when cats hunt songbirds.

Nothing can be done about salmonella in raw meat, besides eating it as quickly as possible. It's innate to the bodies of birds and reptiles, and usually found on raw eggs too.

Some animals are small enough to be dried and carried around as rations, such as minnows or grasshoppers. Others could be sliced up into strips, and marinated in spices like valerian or catmint for an extra boost of energy. It could also be worthwhile to cut the pelt off a particularly soft animal, like a mole, to dry and keep as bedding material.

All of the above examples of food processing are possible without fire, but if your cats DO have fire, they will have a DRASTIC increase to the quality of their health.

Such as;

Cooking will almost completely eliminate those foodborne parasites. Their eggs don't survive extreme heat.

No more salmonella poisoning! GONE! Cooking is the only way to eliminate this!

It can increase caloric absorption from anywhere between 20% to 50%. Our example warrior who needed 3.5 mice a day could suddenly need one less mouse; and even a meager 20% drop in how much the entire Clan needs saves 2,400 calories a day. 24 whole mice!

I HAVE TO STRESS HOW BIG THAT IS. You save anywhere from 2/10 to 5/10 successful kills.

Thiaminase is destroyed by cooking, making bream and carp healthier and reducing "fish seizures."

It allows for fats to be processed and stored as tallow, lard, and oil, so it can be added to other dishes to make them both healthier and tastier.

Most food preservation requires fire in some way; by heating, jellying, boiling, etc. The only other two ways to reliably store food is by having access to a ton of salt, which is hard for most non-coastal clans to acquire, or vinegar, which is so acidic it's a notorious cat-repellent.

While cooking can also destroy some micronutrients, its benefits FAR outweigh any potential "strengths" of raw food. Destroying micronutrients is also not always a bad thing; as TOO MANY micronutrients can cause poisoning. Fire-using Clans will be more likely to "seek" micronutrients than non-fire Clans as a result, though they probably won't recognize the science behind a hankering!

QUICK FACTS

Worms. Basically unavoidable if your cat's eating like a canon warrior.

Some parasites can spread through milk.

Slicing and lifting out the GI tract can significantly reduce the chance of catching worms.

Salmonella can only be eliminated with cooking

Cooking will drastically increase the quality of a Clan's health, if your cats are advanced enough to figure out fire.

Warriors need to hunt a LOT less prey, and can store that prey, if they have fire.

Fire-using Clans will intentionally try to put more types of food in their diets and get 'cravings.'

On Obesity

Warrior Cats is not a realistic series. The boundary that any particular writer draws between humans and warrior cats is completely arbitrary. The series itself follows no sense of realistic genetics, regularly shows the cats using herbs that would poison them, and gives the characters human-centric morals like monogamy and paternal involvement.

So when it comes to being fatness in your project, please keep that in mind. You do not need too follow realistic cat weight distribution, if that's not what your project about. That said, let me tell you about humans vs cats in this department!

Humans have a massive diversity of weight distribution, with varied genetic predispositions to gaining and losing weight. The shame, bullying, and medical discrimination that comes with fatphobia is a LOT more harmful than being fat itself, and the causes of the "obesity crisis" are ridiculously more complicated than "ppl r snorking 2 much food".

Realistic cats aren't the same way.

When REAL cats are fat, that's VERY bad. It's a sign they are being fed the wrong things by humans, or live somewhere that they are able to eat what they shouldn't. They just don't have that same diversity in fat distribution that humans do. Because of how adipose tissue secretes certain hormones, feline obesity is like a chronic inflammatory disease which can cause arthritis, bladder stones, hepatic lipidosis, and more.

But with that in mind, fatness should be perceived very differently even in the most realistic settings. In comparison to humans;

It is harder for a wild cat to put on weight. Most of what they're eating is raw protein, actively trying to fill the 45% of daily fat intake they need to stay healthy. Protein isn't stored as fat, it's immediately discarded by the body if there is no use for it. A cat would need to be taking an INSANE amount of prey to start becoming dangerously overweight. Housecats are often fed human food, which has carbohydrates. Low-quality cat food will also use carbs as filler. High carb food is VERY bad for them, since they're only supposed to have 3% carbs at most. This is one of the reasons why it's easy for pet cats to become overweight.

Realistic cats don't look start looking overweight until they are significantly obese. Most of their fat is stored around their ribs and internally, unlike humans with our thick hips and round bellies, and they are covered in a naturally sagging pelt of fur. It's not as obvious with them. Visually, weight will be noticed best from a bird's eye perspective, unlike humans where it's apparent at every angle.

Putting on the fat that CAN be acquired is ridiculously important 3.5 raw, whole mice a day, per cat, are needed to fill their basic dietary requirements. There are going to be days or months especially during winter where they might be below that number, and that stored fat is going to be lifesaving. Bulking up is actually a big deal!

So not only is how canon treats overweight characters full of malice, it's full of lazy malice. It makes no sense from a realistic standpoint for wild cats to develop an association between fatness and greed or laziness. It's important, hard work for them to acquire it!

Though the Clans are notoriously xenophobic and kittypets are more likely to be overweight, it still doesn't make sense from a realistic cat perspective to be fatphobic in the same way as canon. It's more likely they'd see fat housecats as having "unearned" weight given to them by humans, like they're cheating, or they might be disdainful of how much junk food they eat, or pitiable because it's a sign of a bad twoleg... or just "sour grapes" variety jealousy ☕.

Bottom line is that there's a LOT you can do here which is better than canon's vicious bullying. The writers just lifted British cultural disdain for fat people and put it into the books. They simply did not think it through.

So please do what they didn't, and just put a little extra thought into how your project is going to view fatness! Consider if fatphobia is even a theme you need in your text.

As stated, you do not even have to write weight in your cats as being realistic in this way! I encourage you to pick and choose what's most fun and fitting for your own work. I personally give my characters a more human weight distribution, simply because I want to spite canon and be more body-positive. I am a fat people and you can take Bumble's big chunky bod from my cold, dead hands.

You can choose to make your work however you'd like, and now with this guide, you can have an easy reference for what your cats should eat! Thank you, StarClan, for this prey <3

[hypersaline]

NPC and Townie Ager

This is a tombstone found in misc/misc that helps keep townies'/NPCs' ages in sync with playables' during rotational play. It ages them by one day each time the relevant pie menu option is clicked (or each day at 23:30 if auto-aging is turned on) and teleports them to the lot for birthdays and old age deaths. It requires HB's Easy Inventory Check and can be downloaded here at SFS or here at Mediafire. There's no preview image for this, but exhaustive detail is available behind the cut.

Credits:

The change-model interaction was mostly taken from Inge's teleporter cat; it's possible-to-probable that I cannibalized other mods as well when I first made this, but if so I no longer know which ones.

General notes:

There's a shift-click neighborhood age randomization option. It will only affect townies/NPCs at the beginning of their current lifestage, so use it first thing if you're going to use it.

For birthdays/old age deaths, the sim will materialize close to the ager object, so it's best placed outdoors and outside of any locked gates. There's an option to change it into a small rug for easier hiding.

NPCs will be retired to the townie pool when they have a birthday.

Teens will age into adults, but there'll be a one-day-left notification in case you'd like to send them to uni.

Elders will stand quietly near the ager for up to an hour before dying. Everyone on the lot will notice, like with other on-lot deaths, and you'll have to deal with tombstones manually.

The object doesn't alter the birthday/death functions and shouldn't conflict with mods that do. You'll still need the usual bugfixes, particularly for nonplayable children's aspirations and for multiple deaths occurring at once.

There's a shift-click menu option that'll automatically make townies/NPCs grow up well; another will make them grow up well and also make their deaths peaceful. Sims that trigger a fear as they're aging (like teens who don't go to college) might still age up badly.

Known issue: the object's handling of elders has a bug or two I haven't tracked down. Occasionally an elder will persistently refuse to die until you move them in; occasionally an elder will have their age reset when they're supposed to die. Neither should cause any other issues.

Known issue: under some circumstances the ager will mistakenly grow townies/NPCs up one day into a new lifestage. Saving the game right after the ager does its thing will prevent this.

Exceptions to aging:

YAs, pets, zombies, vampires, servos, any townie/NPC with a bottle of Elixir of Life in inventory, and (in some cases) townies/NPCs that've been generated but haven't visited any lot yet won't be aged.

Babies in the adoption pool will have days subtracted but won't automatically have birthdays. You'll be notified but will have to manually summon and toss them.

Special townies like downtownies, garden clubbers, etc., will age if otherwise eligible. Note that there are (were?) bugs in how the game generates vacation locals and tourists; if yours die off, you might want to make their replacements yourself.

Not all NPCs will age, and the list of those that will is somewhat arbitrary: burglars, cops, firefighters, maids, nannies, gardeners, repairpeople, mail carriers, paperkids, cashiers, bartenders (comm lot), bartenders (party), professors, streakers, coaches, cafeteria workers, servers, hosts, DJs, business reporters, landlords, butlers.

To add NPCs I skipped, open up the 'Sub - Ageable NPC?' BHAV, scroll to the last line, choose "Ins/false" in the special buttons, switch "Const" to "Literal", make sure the Decimal box is not ticked, and enter the NPC type number from this list.

[cxffecoupx]

"girls! get ready for bed," you coo as you enter your kids' bedroom and see them playing with dolls. they look at you with puppy eyes and huge pouts, one last attempt to get 5 more minutes of playtime.

"nope. no more excuses. you're already 30 minutes late," you declare, with makes them stand up defeatedly and stomp towards the washroom. you walk around, placing the toys in the box and arranging the girls' beds. they come out some fifteen minutes later.

you tuck them both into their beds and they let out a satisfied sigh as sleep starts to take over. you pat their cheeks and turn off the lights.

just as you were about to exit the room, haeyoon, the elder one, calls out, "mommy, where's our goodnight kiss?"

"i'm so sorry baby," you speak and rush towards her to place the mandatory kiss on her head, and the extra ones on her cheek. you move over to hae-in and kiss her the same. you let out a soft 'good night' before leaving the bedroom.

you go to your own bedroom to find your husband already in bed, phone in hand and eyes shut. you chuckle as you get ready for bed and climb in, placing his phone on the nightstand and turning off the lights.

joshua stirs awake and sits up.

"hey!! where's my goodnight kiss??" he says before shaking you.

you gasp and sit and quickly give him a small, fluttering smooch on the corner of his lips. he pulls you back in and places a lingering kiss on your lips, deepening with every second. he pulls away satisfied.

"now, let's go to sleep."

[flawseer]

#18 - "Fire"

Smaugust 2024

The last few submissions have been mostly visual, but today I want to do something more text-based. I'm always looking for opportunities to ramble ad nauseam about my headcanons and thoughts, but am usually hesitant if I don't think I can make a subject interesting or particularly insightful.

A few months back I was playing with the thought of publishing a speculative analysis on Pyrrhian dragon breath weapons, and how they might differ between tribes. I got up to the conceptualization stage, but then @sidyashchiy-na-plakhe came out with a better and more put-together version of what I was thinking about and touched on some similar points, so I filed those plans away to not step on any toes. If you're enjoying this type of deliberation, I recommend that you check out his take, as it is very thoughtfully put together with some cool visuals.

But, seeing as I have no other ideas for this prompt, and since it's been a while since then, I'm going to air out my scrapped draft here. I guess this is a mixture between canon information and headcanons, with a bias toward the latter.

General Information

Each of the seven Pyrrhian tribes is capable of using a kind of orally-discharged means of attack. For the purpose of this deliberation, I am going to refer to all of these as "breath weapons", even though not all of them are activated via exhalation. It will make things easier to talk about.

There are three general factors to each type of breath weapon, those being potency, range, and start-up time. In the case of fire breath--the most ubiquitous type of breath weapon on the continent--these would roughly correlate to the temperature of the flames, how far they can travel from the source while maintaining their shape and intensity, and for how long the fire must be stoked inside of the user before it can be expelled.

How developed these factors are differs for every dragon, but the two biggest determining modifiers are constitution and age. Being physically fit will make your breath weapon more efficient--and thus stronger--because you have better control over your breathing after exertion. As a dragon advances in age, the three factors all increase proportionally. A Mudwing hatchling can produce a puff of flame very quickly, but it will barely heat up the surrounding air. An elder meanwhile might take several minutes to get their fire going, but when they do, the result will be fearsome and devastating.

Fire is the most common element on the continent, with four of the seven tribes being able to command it. I will go through those first and then follow up with the other variants .

Nightwing fire is a dark purple in color, due to a slight variation in the gas component that fuels the flames.

The flames have no particularly outstanding properties strength-wise, but they emit comparatively little light, meaning they don't stand out as much against the night sky. This makes them ideal for low-profile ambushing, but very unsuitable as signal flares.

If a Nightwing ignites an object, the flames will gradually lose this characteristic as they will begin to consume the air around them and turn into ordinary, orange fire.

Nightwing flames are sometimes colloquially referred to as "Moonfire".

Sandwing fire is, on average, the least powerful among all the fire-breathing dragons. In terms of potency and range, flames emitted by a Sandwing of 20 years will be roughly equivalent to those of a twelve-year-old from the other fire-breathing tribes.

Their unique advantage is that Sandwings can produce these flames extremely quickly, usually within seconds. If readying fire takes a dragon 30 seconds, an equivalent Sandwing can do it in 5.

While for most other dragons the use of their breath weapon is a deliberate and calculated affair, the severely reduced start-up time allows Sandwings to "shoot from the hip" without having to commit to the action, making them less predictable in combat.

A popular Sandwing combat technique is to open a fight by blowing a quick plume of weak fire into an opponent's face and then using the resulting distraction to strike with their venomous tails.

Skywings command the strongest and purest variation of fire among all tribes. Their flames come out very straight and can maintain their shape over vast distances.

They can "cook" their fire by holding it inside themselves for longer than necessary. While this becomes unpleasant or even painful if done for long, it will increase the temperature and purity of the resulting flames far beyond what any of the other tribes are capable of.

Flames emitted after doing this for long enough will come out with an intense blue color that can cut through stone.

For dragons afflicted with firescales, all of the fire they breathe will be like this, as their bodies are already channeling flames at all times to fuel the burning scales.

Because Skywing fire is so intense, it is at times difficult to control. Skywings who become emotional will often start smoking from their nostrils involuntarily.

Mudwing fire, sometimes referred to as "moody fire", is very temperamental. Its strength will vary widely based on a number of different factors, not all of them fully understood, making it appear random at times.

The most commonly understood factor that influences a Mudwing's fire is the ambient temperature. Mudwings will struggle to produce flames in environments that are too cold (close to freezing weather, very cold water, etc.). This can be partially mitigated by ingesting hot stews, soups, or beverages before fire usage.

A factor that isn't as well documented is that the Mudwing's fire breath and their uncanny healing factor are fueled by the same source. This means a Mudwing's fire will be strongest when they are healthy, and begin to diminish if they become injured, as their body will divert resources away from the breath weapon to prioritize keeping itself alive, functioning, and mobile.

Mudwings hatched from blood eggs have a tendency to develop poor breath weapons, as their super-charged healing factor--while potent enough to outpace most damage sustained from fire--is even more resource-hungry than that of a regular Mudwing.

Icewings don't breathe fire. Instead, they are able to exhale a stream of frost magic. There is nothing I can think of to scientifically explain all the properties of frostbreath as they are presented in canon, especially with regards to Queen Battlewinner. Ice that makes you lava-proof? Nah, this is straight-up magic. All Icewings are born with a small piece of magic and this is how it expresses itself.

Contrary to popular belief, frostbreath is not stronger than firebreath. In terms of general characteristics, Icewings and Nightwings are actually roughly equivalent.

What makes frostbreath more overtly lethal than fire breath is the magical component. When frostbreath comes in contact with living tissue, it will form ice crystals on and inside the surface. All flesh in contact with these crystals will gradually turn necrotic. This process is very painful.

The crystals are very persistent and it requires sustained exposure to intense heat to melt them. The best way to accomplish this is via prolonged bath in warm water (close to boiling). This method, if applied quickly after the injury, will usually result in recovery after a few hours of bathing.

Getting hit while in a situation with no access to warm water is very dangerous and potentially lethal. If treatment does not begin soon after, the crystals will begin to spread, killing more tissue and making recovery increasingly less likely, especially once the injury spreads to internal organs.

It is not uncommon for soldiers who get hit by frost breath and are caught out in the open with no treatment options to cut off the afflicted body part to minimize tissue loss.

Icewings are more resistant to frostbreath than other dragons, but not fully immune. They can succumb to the same injuries.

If an Icewing suffers an intense burn, particularly in and around the face, they become completely unable to exhale frost until the burn begins to heal.

Rainwings do not have a breath weapon. Instead, they produce an acidic venom within their bodies, which can be administered through biting, or launched at targets through a pair of collapsible, hollow fangs.

The gland that produces this venom needs sunlight to develop properly. Once the Rainwing has been exposed to sufficient sunlight, venom production will begin, and may even continue without further exposure, but it is recommended to sunbathe for at least 5 hours a week to keep the gland healthy and the venom potent.

The venom is strongly corrosive and able to dissolve most organic materials like wood, plant matter, and flesh. It is potent enough that, if it enters another creature's blood stream directly (via bite, an open wound, or the eyes), that creature will die within seconds.

The venom's lethality will rapidly decrease once it separates from the user. If it hits surface tissue and has to burn through layers flesh, it will usually lose too much of its toxicity before it reaches the blood stream (though it will still function as acid and be excruciatingly painful).

Rainwings are immune to their own venom, but not the venom of other Rainwings. Mixing a sample of venom with the venom of a close blood relative will cancel out the destructive properties of both.

Seawings are amphibious dragons who prefer to live in water, but can also go on land and exist there in relative comfort for a decent while. Their body contains an organ that stores water, from which it periodically draws to keep the Seawing's skin from drying out.

When under duress, a Seawing can forcefully expel the contents of this organ through their mouth as a pressurized jet of water. While this is not very destructive, it can momentarily stun aggressors and allow the Seawing to retreat to the safety of a nearby lake or river.

If the blast is held inside and charged up similar to the fire breath of other tribes, the Seawing is able to draw from their body heat to increase the water's temperature to scalding degrees.

[desiree-uk]

Using NRaas Master Controller's Filters, Skill Stamps and Hot Keys - Part 2

Skill Stamps and Hot Keys

This is part 2 of my NRaas Master Controller tutorial on how I use filters, skill stamps and hot keys! (Tumblr wouldn't let me have my fun and use more than 30 images on one post, so 2 parts it is 🤨)

See also:

Using NRaas Master Controller's Filters, Skill Stamps and Hot Keys - Part 1: Filters

Tutorial under the header!

Mods needed for Filters, Skill Stamps and Hot Keys to show up:

Master Controller v.135

Master Controller Cheats v.134+

(9th Feb 2025 - desiree-uk correction: Additional mods needed for filters and door-locking system (my apologies! 😌) GoHere v.45 Tagger v.5

Skill Stamps:

I use skill stamps to add a whole bunch of skills to a single sim or sims in bulk!

When adding a newly created sim to your town, they may not have any skills yet until you play them, but a skill stamp can quickly add some skills to them as if they were already played for a while.

MC Cheats Interaction: Skill Stamp> Add New Stamp

Allows the user to define a skill set to apply during "Advanced \ Skill Stamp". Once added, selecting one from the listing will allow you to specify the levels for each skill.

I want some sims to be able to have some basic skills such as cooking.

Click on Town Hall/Computer>NRaas>Settings> Skill Stamp

Add New Stamp: name the skill stamp (e.g Basic Skills).

The skill stamp is listed. Click on it and set the cooking level to whatever you want it to be. I have both the regular cooking skill and the hidden child-skill level, just because. I don't know. 😄

I maxed out the child skill to 3 and set the regular skill to 1.

I've set other skill stamps such as ones for artistic sims (painting, photography, writing) and outdoor sims (athletic, waterskiing, gardening, scuba diving, snowboarding, diving, windsurfing)

I also set one for sims who I want to be able to drive! We now have the 'Sims Need Driving Lessons' mod by the awesome Phoebejaysims! All sims (except NPCS) can't drive until they've reached the maximum level of the driving skill.

Of course you'd want some sims to be able to drive in an already established town, right?

I want my adults and elders to at least have the driving skill, even if some don't have a car yet.

Set a skill stamp for driving:

Click on Town Hall/Computer>NRaas>Settings>Skill Stamp

Name the skill to something driving related, e.g Sims With Driving Licence.

Click on the 'Driving' skill.

Max it out to 3.

Adding skill stamps to a sim with no skills:

Click on a single sim: NRaas>MC>Advanced>Skill Stamp

You see the list of my skill stamps. When I click on each one, all the skills under the stamps will be added to the sim all at once (you'll see the notices that appear in the top right hand corner pop up notifying you the sims have the skills.)

Check their skill panel to see all their added skills. The driving skill is hidden, so it won't show on the panel, but you can check the sim has it by checking their skill levels in Sim>MC>Advanced>Skill Level. It should show 'Driving: 3'

To add the skill stamp to multiple adults and elders, I'll use the filter I made earlier in Part 1.

Click on Town Hall/Computer>Sim>Advanced>Skill Stamp

The filter 'AGE: Adults/Elders' is listed.

Click on it to see a list of all the adult and elder sims.

From the list you can select some of the sims who you want to be able to drive or scroll to the top and click 'All'.

The Skill Stamp list will pop up - choose the 'Sims with driving licence' skill stamp. The skill stamp will be applied. As stated before, you won't see the hidden skill in the sims panel, but they'll be able to drive. You can of course check their skill level via MC>Sims>Advanced>Skill Level.

While you're at it, you can edit some of the selected sims driving skill levels according to whether you want them to do a driving test, theory test or have their skill maxed out so they can drive straightaway when you give them a car...

PJsims mod interactions notes:

If they are level -1 or 0, sims can first do their theory test which will increase driving skill to level 1.

Once they are level 2 in driving, they can do their driving test which, if passed, will automatically max out their driving skill.

Now you can make and add as many skill stamps to any single sim or multiple sims in a filter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hot Keys:

MC Interaction: Hot Keys

Allows the user to specify which interactions are to be shown directly under the "NRaas" menu

You can add any MC interaction to the uppermost level of the NRaas menu when you click on a sim, household or terrain as short-cuts, especially your most often-used interactions.

I added the 'skill stamp' and other interactions as hot keys so I can easily edit a sim when I click on one.

Click on Town Hall/Computer>Settings>Hot Keys

I added:

* Change Autonomy

* Reset Sim

* Skill Level

* Skill Stamp

Make sure 'True' is next to the interactions you want to see in the NRaas menu:

Click on a sim or the terrain and you'll hopefully see all your created hot keys.

See my screenshot - all 4 are there!

With the skill interactions you can quickly and easily set a sims skill level or add a skill stamp to them when you click on the sim in less clicks than clicking on multiple dialog boxes.

The other two are self explanatory, turn on/off a sim's autonomy and reset a sim.

Note: The more hot keys you add, the slower the pie menu will take to pop up, so keep that in mind.

If you still don't want to click so many times in the menu to find your interactions, you can use Arro's UI Tweaks mod (currently in testing, soon to be released - it's an excellent mod, I highly recommend it! 👍🏾) You can search the menu by clicking on the magnifying glass icon on the menu or press the 'F' key and type the interaction you want, using a full or partial word!

That's it! That's how I use filters, skill stamps and hotkeys. It will become second nature the more you use them and they can be as easy or as complex as you want them.

If you use them already, how do you set them up and in what scenarios? Share in the comments or let me know if I can add or explain anything! :)

Click for part 1:

Using NRaas Master Controller's Filters, Skill Stamps and Hot Keys - Part 1: Filters

[l0vegl0wsinthedark]

Draw Drarry Badly Challenge 2025

*

I did it! I DID IT! HERE IS MY ENTRY!

This is based on an idea given to me by @m4g0rtz ❤️

Thank you for reminding me how much I enjoy sucking at art @julcheninred ❤️

*

Title: THE INEXORABLE APPROACH OF THE DAY aka WHY SHOULD BRIDES HAVE ALL THE FUN aka DRACO MALFOY GETS WHAT HE WANTS (including Harry Potter (who is hopelessly smitten))

*ominous music*

"All right, darling," said Draco. "Today we get our MOSTE IMPORTANTE wedding shopping done. Are you ready to start?"

"I'm ready to finish," said Harry.

"Excellent. First things first. Bloomers."

"What."

"Bloomers, darling. Satin bloomers."

"Is that a sex thing?"

"Harry. No. We'll wear them atop our stockings."

"Sto-?"

"Come along now."

"I think pink is your true colour, my love," said Draco sincerely.

"I don't want to wear frilly undershorts."

"Bloomers, darling. And we have to."

"Why."

"Tradition!"

"I don't think anyone will know if we don't wear these."

"Of course they will! The elders always check under the grooms' robes before the ceremony."

"The elders do what?!"

"Next up: our wedding robes! Aren't you excited?!"

"NO."

"You look wonderful, darling!" gushed Draco.

"All this frill. Why?"

"Tradition!"

"Why are we on fire," asked Harry.

"In-built sparklers!"

"We're on fire."

"It's magic! Honestly, Harry! You're still such a Muggle sometimes."

"These colours... I don't even know where to start.

"Eye-catching, yes?!"

"They're all going to have a stroke."

"We're going to stand out!"

"Yes, outside Mungo's, while our guests are admitted for a collective stroke."

"Yes, these are perfect! Next: our custom made boots!"

"Shit."

"Yes! That's the spirit!"

"What do you think?" asked Draco. "I thought we'd both go with green. You know... For your eyes, and my Hogwarts house!"

"...there are flowers on mine."

"Real ones! Charmed to stay fresh forever!"

"Flowers. On my shoes."

"Beautiful, aren't they? They were Longbottom's idea!"

"I never thought I'd kill Neville some day, but here we are."

"What do you think of mine?"

"They have feathers on them."

"Peacock feathers, darling. Because I'm a Malfoy."

"Why can't I have feathers?!"

"Because you get flowers."

"Why do we need to put anything on them?! They're SHOES."

"Tradition, Harry. Stop yelling!"

"I'm not--"

"Next: HATS!"

"Now you're yelling."

"Aaahh! I've waited 30 years to try on my wedding hat!" said Draco.

"Why do they have curtains."

"They're veils, darling."

"I can't see."

"I'll hold your hand, see?"

"I don't want to wear this cone-curtain contraption on my head."

"Well, you have to."

"Why?!"

"TRADITION!" bellowed Draco.

"I DON'T W--"

"NEXT: OUR NECKLACES!"

"NOOO!"

"Emeralds for me. Rubies for you, darling."

"..."

"This is pure, solid gold."

"..."

"You love them so much that you're speechless?! Well done, me!"

*silent choking noises"

(BONUS:)

"All right. Now we take our best men to get them their bloomers. Blaise is meeting us there. Call Weasley and give me the phonic."

"..."

"Give me that. Weasley, it's me, Draco Lucius Malfoy. Come get fitted for your lace bloomers at once!"

~fini~

[verysium]

PLEASE DO BLUE LOCK ICKS IM BEGGING🙏😭🌹

😏 coming right up anon. gonna channel my inner critic and not hold back on any of these.

RIN

brother complex. not much else to say except that he needs to get a life. not everything is about metaphorically crushing your older brother's dreams and brooding in the dark hate of retribution.

competitive but only because he is a desperate whore for external validation. ignores everyone but craves the attention of a sole person named sae itoshi. was defeated by isagi once and has never let go of it since. has a one-track mind that is impossible to derail. stubborn when he wants to be.

probably a virgin and will continue to be one until his late 30s.

has not known a single day of peace ever since sae ditched him for the popular girlies. as a result, he has developed a very concerning case of social awkwardness. his idea of a conversation involves a brick wall and thirty minutes of you staring at his resting bitch face. constantly looks like that one grumpy cat meme. judges you for your poor decisions but then gets aggressively defensive when you point out his own mistakes.

reeks of so much teen angst that even metallica can't save him. the problem is that he has nothing to back up his emo persona. his insults lack creativity and, unfortunately for him, phrases like "lukewarm" and "half-baked" and "hell" do not make his words carry more weight. uses the f-word but in the most embarrassing context that it makes you facepalm and internally cringe.

SAE

zero social awareness. this boy's head is empty. the lights are not on up there. there are no picture frames or furniture. the curtains are drawn, and there is not a sliver of clouds or sunshine. cannot read body language and does not know what a filter is.

the source of all of rin's stress. he is the original trauma projector, creator of generational cycles. not even subtle about it. "turns out i was wrong. i thought japan was incapable of ever giving birth to decent forwards." sir....with the way you worded that, you knew exactly what you were doing when you gave rin false hope.

swears but it's even worse than his brother. literally called his elders a "fatso and bob cut duo" and "insect turd." i mean....there is a line between what is considered a legitimate burn and what is a first grader making up insults in his coloring book.

has a horrible haircut and no fashion taste. i already talked about this previously, but it was so bad it deserved a second mention.

a freak but tries to justify it rationally. like what do you mean you can tell a person's athletic ability from their buttock size? just admit you have a kinky fetish already.

somewhat of a coward but i'm gonna give him some leniency due to his tragic child genius backstory. tbh he's just an eighteen-year-old boy who needs a goddamn break.

KAISER

alexa please play clown music. this man sets himself for failure and then wallows in self-pity when he actually fails. like what did you expect? you knew what was going to happen the moment you challenged isagi like that. it was most definitely your fault you got violently humbled.

has a borderline god complex (currently calls himself an emperor but has not evolved into a deity yet.) unfortunately, he does not stand on business. cue the dramatic meltdowns when he realizes there is an actual gap between his ability and his reputation. if you're going to lie, at least make it believable.

insecure and mentally unstable. he probably cuts and re-dyes his hair every single time shit happens. no wonder his locks get shorter every time.

lazy when it comes to anything that is not football and expects others to do it for him. demands princess treatment wherever he goes. unfortunately, not all of us have servants with no self-respect like ness.

"it is not enough that i should succeed, others should fail" type of person.

does not wear shoes and even if he does, it's sandals. put them grippers away.

NAGI

a literal sloth who has so much potential but uses none of it. has no intrinsic motivation of his own, so if he's going to do anything, it has to be you behind the wheel, making sure he gets put to work.

does not have a close relationship with his parents, and so he has no sense of community, holidays, or traditions. no fun at all if you want him to do things like christmas shopping or birthday celebrations.

rots in bed all day and then has to nerve to ask you to carry him around. your back better be strong because his 190 cm body is not going to be light.

not loyal (need i say more.)

REO

second male lead syndrome. also known as that one popular guy who's always picked last.

acts like a victim but then when you realistically tell him to how to change his situation he refuses to do so. you cannot ask for advice and then take none of it to heart. no wonder you're still not over your ex.

"i can fix him" mentality. no, you can't. you are a seventeen-year-old child, not a licensed therapist and nagi isn't even all that.

NESS

touch-starved to the point he will stay in a toxic and abusive relationship in order to gain some scrap of affection. just because you were the black sheep of your family does not mean you can lose all sense of personal dignity.

probably stalks all the people he hates. has a burn book like regina george from mean girls. cuts out and glues little pictures of kaiser all over his bedroom. doodles hearts all over it with glittery gel pen. isagi's face and name are scratched out of every team photo.

delusional and prone to mood swings. medicated but at this point, he is beyond saving.

ISAGI

a home wrecker. has ruined more relationships than he can count on ten fingers yet still manages to smile like he's some angelic saint.

solves jigsaw puzzles for a living (not very cool if you ask me.)

has some unresolved anger management issues. probably repressed all his negative feelings when he was younger, so it all comes out when he's on the field. unfortunately, his twilight-sparkle-friendship-is-magic agenda is not going to work if he keeps cussing out his teammates like that. but then again, he is the main character, so i guess his plot armor makes up for his pitfalls.

says that he's a good guy but then holds personal vendettas against rivals he doesn't like. boy was so ready to throw hands when #kaisagi was trending on the internet. but when you actually think about, he's similar to kaiser in more ways than he'd like to admit.

BAROU

has the worst case of high and mighty "holier-than-thou" attitude. isagi put his ego in check, but it still peeks out from time to time.

he was the ugliest baby when he was born. i am not going to hold back on the child barou slander because it is true. no, he was not a cute and lovable bundle of joy. he looked like a demonic gremlin.

he needs to take more risks in life and try cross-dressing. simply imagining him in a maid uniform will not suffice. it needs to be made into a reality.

with how nit-picky he is, i doubt people can realistically stay within a 1-meter radius around him. unless you are a clean freak yourself, his constant complaints will start to get annoying after a time. even if he does have good intentions, he needs to let people have a little breathing room sometimes. a messy room is not going to kill you.

BACHIRA

this boy's brain is smooth. no folds. no gray matter. no intelligence either. his pencil and eraser have been left untouched since day one. if he wasn't crazily good at football, he would be unemployed and homeless in the future. not even a mcdonald's wants him.

one of those people who will do the literal opposite of whatever you say. you want him to stop talking? well, now he's never going to shut up. you tell him not to step on a pile of dog shit? well, now he's going to walk right into it. you want him to quit running around and act normal? well, now it's his life's mission to make you as annoyed as possible. please pray for your hair follicles because at the end of the day, you're not going to have many left with how much he makes you want to tear your hair out.

has the cerebral capacity of a toddler. if he thinks monsters are real, he's going to think anything is real. super gullible when it comes to any form of scam, ploy, or trickery. the only way he would not be fooled is if he's also played the same prank before.

SHIDOU

a brazen pervert. says the most out-of-pocket things and refuses to apologize for them. sometimes it comes out a little too sleazy for your liking.

"to me a goal is fertilization! a shot is the seed and the goal is the egg!! and the birth of that joy i call an explosion!! my genes are gonna knock you up!" let us give ourselves a moment of silence to digest this quote. only shidou ryusei would come up with a sperm and egg metaphor to describe football. (i guess protection means nothing to him.)

has no empathy. if you dislike him or cannot keep up with him, you're a literal nobody in his books. no sportsmanship. no compassion. no self-awareness.

you cannot say "balls" to him in a serious tone without him misinterpreting it as something dirty. that alone should tell you enough. stay the hell away from him.

where do men get the audacity? right here. from this little bastard. he invented the term "shameless slut." boy was getting off during the u-20 arc and on live TV too. no wonder sae said he was disgusting.

and finally, he comes from a long line of cockroaches. he's even got the antennae to prove it.

i think this might have been a little excessive, but i have no regrets about it. you're welcome anon ♡

[slaaverin]

Okay why are Jikookers literally elder people? 30 is not old at all, but I've seen children and teens in other shipper fandoms, not this one ...what brings y'all together like this 😂

But happy birthday love 😘 may you grow to see your generations 😊

Ahhh thank you so much for the birthday wishes anon 💜

What you're saying makes me wonder.

I have a jikooker friend who is 70+ 😂

But I believe some jikookers with greater levels of maturity can truly understand jikook's bond on a deep level, having been themselves in serious relationships and having more experience with relationships in general. So that's probably why.

It is true that tkkers are usually way younger and more immature 🧐 you're raising an interesting point!

People with some years behind them can understand better the human behaviour. Usually when you are in your teen years it is very common to experience toxic behaviours because young people don't know how to put up personal boundaries yet and if they weren't raised with a lot of love, well they lack self-love as well.

So in fact they have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like, that's why we see so many toxic narratives about the members and their relationships.

Of course I'm talking generalities I am well aware some older fans are also involved with other ships and fuel those narratives. But it's usually fans who even in their adult lives continue to have distorted perceptions of what is good and healthy.

My view on this might be quite radical but nobody in their right mind could be a serious taekooker. Nobody.

Their ship is based entirely on falshood and toxicity. When you are not distorted in your views it is impossible to get behind a ship such as this. (Except if its for just fun I guess)

I think for a balanced adult the only relationship that makes the most sense is jikook. Because they are themselves balanced and healthy and there is absolutely nothing toxic about them.

But not everyone grows in the same way and not everyone can have a balanced point of view and have enough experience to understand the subtleties of human exchange.

That's why there are so many disparities. And that's why I think a lot of jikooker are mostly older.

Jikookers do not have the shiny object syndrom. We do not think jikook are in a relationship because "it's hot" or "it would be cool".

We simply observe them and drew conclusions from our own personal experiences that made us go "Ok I see what this is" and that's it, literally.

That's why I think sometimes we should not take what tkkers do so seriously because some of them are really young and yes sometimes children. They don't even understand what they are doing and what they are believing in.

But it's true jikook draw people with certain levels of maturity, and I think it's quite indispensable to truly understand the depth of their relationship. Nothing beats personal experiences to compare lol

(Again it is all general statements and I know there are exceptions)

I answered quickly but I hope you see now why some jikookers might be older.

Thanks again and take care 💜

[dansedesdragons]

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒

=͟͟͞♡ SIMON "GHOST" RILEY x gn!READER

⌨ | your neighbors ask you to babysit their child for an evening. after your request, they kindly agree to let your boyfriend, Simon, stay with you. this could be the beginning of a bad joke, because Simon babysitting is a rather... atypical sight? but things are going very well until the question of math exercises comes up...

notes — i had this idea recently and i found it really cute bc Simon is not a scary guy in everyday life in my eyes even if he's probably not the sunniest of guys. so just comfort bc i think we all need it <3

Oh what a sight it was... Simon, a military man by profession, with a solid reputation, well into his thirties, stood with his head in his hands, bent over a maths exercise book.

The answers to the exercises were already carefully written down in the little boy's notebook, and while his elder was having an existential crisis over a maths exercise, he was patiently playing with Simon's mask.

Simon had taken the time to explain all the exercises to the child, using the method that he knew, but he had realised that, these days, we don't teach using the same method. The child had to be able to do the exercise using the current method. So you had discovered a very patient side to your boyfriend, who explains as best he can. At first, the child was confused. Why two different methods? Then he accepted his fate, understood the two methods and moved on. But Simon didn't.

With a few muffled curses, he made a point of comparing the two methods, couching tons of mathematical formulae to prove his point: the old method was more effective than the new one. ‘‘But why?’’ you heard him swear under his breath after the third time in five minutes, ‘‘Why change a method that works very well, damn it!’’.

‘‘Simon, your language’’ you exclaimed, pointing at the child, but he wasn't listening any more. He had put on Simon's mask, which was twice too big for him, and was drawing on a corner of a sheet of paper. But it wasn't going to be conclusive as he couldn't see anything. The sight was quite comical and you took out your phone to immortalise the moment, especially Simon struggling with elementary maths problems, silently promising to show it to Johnny sometime.

Simon angrily lifted the notebook to show you his development, ‘‘But look! It doesn't make any fucking sense!’’ He looked so determined, so dramatic, so invested that you burst out laughing. You'd have thought he was about to take up arms against the national education system. He grumbled a little at your mockery, then sighed as he closed the notebook, glancing at the child who hadn't followed anything but was now asking for spaghetti bolognese.

‘‘Oh, Lieutenant Ghost, this is a science that doesn't move, you should be able to complete this mission with ease’’ you mocked shamelessly, earning yourself that murderous look, so threatening, promising terrible reprisals that you still felt a shiver of anticipation run through your body. Oh, he won't forget that when you're safe in your room, you were sure. But then he stood up, planted a warm kiss on your forehead and it was your heart's turn to shiver. ‘‘Come and help me instead of mocking me,’’ he mumbled with a semblance of an amused smile on his lips.

Later, as you walked down the steps to your appartment, you couldn't help but tease Ghost: ‘‘You know, you really did sound like a father of three, on the verge of a mid-life crisis when we're not even parents yet’’. You stopped when you realised that Simon had paused at the top of the stairs, looking down at you with a tender smile and a look of great meaning. ‘‘Not yet, for the moment...’’ You returned his beautiful smile, your heart racing at the sight, he seemed to enjoy the idea. Then you saw his smile fade and his eyes take on a bored look: ‘‘No, never mind, by the time we have a child and it grows up, they'll have time to change their methods 30 times.’’

With a sigh, you rolled your eyes and resumed your walk.

‘‘You're a pain, Simon. You're rambling.’’

‘‘I'm mostly fucking right. But when you look at it—’’

Your discussion faded as you descended the stairs, Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley's swearing disappearing for good as the door to your flat slammed behind you, muffling your heartfelt laughter.