#you'll be kid a man kid
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a man, kid
part of me still wishes to be a girl with a boyfriend blonde hair, maybe, straightened, dark roots. i wish i did my makeup and followed trends and it shatters me to lose hold of her; her with the blonde hair. i don't loathe who i am - though i miss who i could have been. i have to hold my shoulders like a father, iron my shirts that make me look bigger, wear my sneakers and pants a size too large for my frame. and look at him, holding his shoulders; you'll be, blue, a man, blue. if nothing goes wrong.
#poems#poems and poetry#author#poetry#poet#poets#original poem#poems and quotes#poetic#my poetry is so sad#poem#original writing#writing#writers on tumblr#writeblr#writers and poets#trans community#trans pride#trans#this is inspired by fucking falsettos lyrics#you'll be kid a man kid#whatever your song
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got a worm nibbling my brain. can someone help me find a piece of obscure media?
webcomic/indie comic from the 2010s. basically a sci-fi short story about a young girl (with red hair?) who was being raised by scientists as part of an experiment. she receives a haircut/has her head shaved, in preparation for her annual brain scan/testing. it is revealed that while her body is human, her "brain" is artificial, made of computer implants throughout her skull and spine. at some point her biological mother (also a scientist on the same campus?) encounters her and is repulsed, viewing her as a machine who has murdered her daughter.
it was very poignant and it bruised my heart and i can NOT find it anywhere
#i thought it was made by the creator of 'O Human Star' for some reason but apparently not?#goddammit goddammit goddammit#'i don't have to write down the title of this piece of media i encountered in my formative years bc i'll always remember it'#*cut to ten years later frantic googling*#fun fact 'a.i.' is now a completely useless search term#google in general is useless#and stuff i read 3+ years ago regularly vanishes from the internet#bookmarks are not enough! if you like indie media--download that shit! buy digital/physical copies while you can#save it to the cloud back it up and organize that shit!!!#keep a list of the stuff you read (organized by date/media type and possibly with keywords if you want it to be useful longterm)#(or a spreadsheet even if you're like me and rabidly consume short stories/comics like a pack of amnesiac piranhas on a feeding frenzy)#(that stuff PILES UP over the years ok. if you wanna make sure you'll be able to find it again a decade later--curation is key)#because art WILL touch your soul and then vanish into the void leaving naught but a 404 Error in its wake#i am an old man shaking my fist at the kids on my lawn but the kids on my lawn are me and my longterm digital planning skills circa 2012
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Jeongin for JYP Japan popup store.
#Yang Jeongin#Jeongin#I.N stray kids#I.N#SKZ#skzedit#skz gifs#bystay#createskz#staydaily#stray kids#stray kids gifs#jesskz#skzco#vocalrachasource#hes sooooo cute ginger bread man you'll always be famous
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Sometimes it's best to just sleep
Let your troubles pass, let your mind be free For the only thing you need, is being here with me
I'll keep you safe, happy, do all that you wish Remember, it's only us, though all of this
Just Peri giving Dev some well deserved sleep No other reason, Dev is simply tired, you see @cubbihue, wouldn't you agree?
And I'm sure he'll wake super happy!
#he will not‚ this is one step closer to a nightmare come true#but hey‚ pretend can be quite a fun game to play#I don't think you'll get it‚ but this scene‚ man‚ this scene#he's a good kid#I promise#he just had a question#a wish#but someone doesn't want to hear any more of this#you are happy here#don't you know?#You are safe here#it's better here#you're free#Dev is stuck#He can't escape‚ this is his place to be#or at least that's what Peri keeps telling#his mind is a mess#his dreams are a blend#he's starting to worry he won't know what's truly real in the end#dream girl is happy#oh how nice it would be to be happy like her#fop peri#dev dimmadome#fop dev#fop a new wish#fopanw#peri#pixel animation#pixel art#fop What It Takes art
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It's the penultimate episode, I've got some words for P'Dome that he'll never get to hear but most importantly I'm here to congratulate Peach and Home on not breaking up this episode. So let's get to it!
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We begin with Home being sad looking at their ad while thinking about his gramps trying to teach him the meaning of "home"
But while Pangpang puts it plainly into words
Home is apparently so dense that he still hasn't figured it out
We've been seeing quite clearly, and Home seems to be aware on a subconcious level at least, that Peach and the rest of the squad have become his home. But well, Home the man, clearly put all his character points into cuteness leaving none for intelligence so I guess we'll have to wait for the last (TT) episode for him to finally get it.
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Peach has gotten to know Home very well. So of course he can tell that there's something up with his platonic? boyfriend. (on the first watch i thought this was him fishing for "Home is so sad that you're leaving"-validation)
He's also totally definitely not at all worried about Home. I'd say acting isn't Peach's strong suit but he did quite well with the fuckery they put on so I guess it's a case of the old can't-lie-when-it-comes-to-love.
Despite his utter non-worry he still delegates Home-care to Kan which kind of implies that he sees it as his job to take care of him. (and shows how much he is worried and cares about Home but that's not really news at this point)
3
Even Kan is teasing them about their relationship now.
4
Sure, their fight turned out to be somewhat staged to distract evil lawyer but the sentiments are nontheless quite real. The familiar territory of fighting allows them to finally speak out their feelings about what happened at the end of last episode. And, surprise, surprise, both are hurt by the idea of being left by the other, of ultimately not meaning that much to each other. (as I said, abandonment trauma rearing its ugly head) At this point, regardless of their relationship status maybe they should just get married so they'll finally feel some security in their importance to each other. (this is almost definitely not a good solution to this sort of problem irl, of course)
5
It's a good thing they've been perfecting their nonverbal communication over the course of the show. It comes in quite handy in situations like this.
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Surrounded by the betrayal from his blood family, Home knows there's someone he can always trust.
Peach. And the rest of the gang. His real family. (+ the friends they made along the way)
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This scene was honestly the cutest shit. The way he goes from his legs raised in happiness, to lowerd in disappointment, to swinging with giddieness. The way he's hiding under his duvet to secretly talk to his boyfriend on the phone. Ridiculously cute. This man is so in love. And he shows it like a stereotypical 12 y/o girl.
And Peach isn't any better with his arms on display and that fondness in his face.
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Peach really doesn't want Home to go back to America.
But while he's not getting that reassurance for now (I can't bring myself to believe he'll actually leave. Not after everything, not when the reason for his exile has been resolved, not when he's finally found the meaning of "home" so his grandpa would have allowed him to come back, anyway. And how ironic btw, that he had to come home first and face the consequences of his actions, in order to find his meaning of "home"), at least he gets some surprisingly clear real-talk on Home's feelings.
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Peach is smelling the bs on uncle and he's not looking to become a widower. He already watched Home die once, he's really not inclined to repeat that experience.
Unfortunately he let's Home convince him it'll be fine (and unfortunately Home has retained a lot of that naivete that he displayed when he first met Kan) so he's left behind to worry about Home's safety.
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This plan from the uncle is absolutely evil. To not only kill his nephew but make people, possibly even Home himself, believe that Peach is the one who killed him? To destroy his nephew's most important person in the process, not only worldly by framing him for murder, but also spiritually by having someone (Home!) die from his cooking? I'm sure to Kid this was mostly a matter of hitting two flies with one stone but whether intentional or not this plan is clearly designed for maximum cruelty. And it's made even more cruel by the love and trust Home and Peach clearly have for each other, plain for everyone, even the evil uncle, to see. But he doesn't even grant Home the knowledge of being loved at the point of his death.
Stop trying to bury our gays you pos uncle!
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As a palate cleanser, please enjoy this image of the whole happy family. Including the dads, their daughter + her wife, and ... Suradech!
Lesbian Corner
Kan has been spending so much time with Pangpang that she's internalising her speech patterns.
And THIS is her reaction when Peach calls her out on it. Someone's in luuurve!
#every week i feel like i have hardly anything to say#and then i can barely fit all my screenshots into the post#also suradech: i'm sorry i ever doubted you. i hope you'll be ok next week#it's fine. after they've dealt with kid and grandpa they can all move to chiang mai together#after all peach's new appartment has two bedrooms. so pangpang can finally have her girlpower room with kan#and home can fulfill his pre even liking him dream of sharing a bed with peach#and i guess suradech can camp in the living room? maybe they've even got a pull-out sofa#it works i promise#peaceful property#peaceful property the series#also from the moment kid rolled out his teary confession i was (silently) screaming at peach to not let that man get in stabbing reach to#home and later to trust his instincts and go save home but alas. p'dome wants us all to get stress ulcers it seems
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Kenjaku and Sukuna are completely different kinds of Chaotic Evil because one finds pleasure in destruction while the other is doing shit on purpose to avoid boreness.
Ask them why they kill everyone and they'll be like
Sukuna : Because I can 😈😈🔥🔥🔪⚰️☠️👹🔥😈👑👑😏🖕
Kenjaku : Because I can 🤣🤡🥳💋💋✨🌈🧨🎉😴🃏💣😜💅
#sukuna knows he's powerful and enjoy his king title#he's the embodiment of fear#at least he's (kind of) previsible#you know you'll suffer and die that's fine#but kenjaku is just trying to make his eternal life interesting#one day they'd declare war and the other they'd buy a fluffy plush#they had kids for fun and threw them away#they enjoy one man shows and survival games#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#kenjaku#ryomen sukuna
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What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?
It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.
They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.
So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.
Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).
The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.
The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.
So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.
Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.
#Akoshos are also probably like.... 1-2% of the population. Like its an Accepted gendered space but not a large one so it's less#'managed' in a lot of senses#It's actually kind of hard to 'access' the akoshos space to begin with. Like parents look for Signs In Early Childhood and most#akoshos are typically assigned their gender early.#If you don't manage to access this space there's a good chance of being Stuck as a man with any deviance from your expected#gender roles being the HIGHLY unaccepted 'male effeminacy' which is a VERY different concept than (though obviously has tensions With)#being akoshos. A lot of akoshos self-label as adults after losing support from their families in part for being '''effeminate men'''#(this is also kind of the only instance in which gender self-identification occurs on a basis that will be Broadly accepted. Though#this happens in the context of already being detached from one's familial support network and people not knowing you self-assigned)#There are also certainly Some cases where akoshos self-identify as adults and this is accepted by their fathers. For a variety#of reasons but unfortunately often it's going to be like-#'we must have missed something but whatever. glad our kid is actually supposed to be this way and isn't just effeminate'#Also much less likely to be accepted if they're an expected male heir without brothers to take up the role in their stead#And VERY unlikely in upper classes where family members are public figures. If you've been introduced as a man here you're probably#out of luck.#(Like you'll see accusations that adult-assigned akoshos are just pretending in order to disguise being male effeminates)#This position isn't freedom from gender norms or like. The equivalent of an accepted trans identity. It's its own assigned gender#space in an Expanded but strict binary with expanded but strict roles#Also the societal trends over centuries are showing signs of increasing collapse between the notions of 'effeminate man' (bad)#and 'akoshos' (normal). At this point the concepts are still very separate but the current societal trajectory is leaning towards the#akoshos role being phased out of its normalization (in tandem with Wardi culture becoming more intensely patriarchal with#the collapse of Wardi groups into one identity)#Like 600 years ago there was NOT a concept of 'effeminate man' and proto-akoshos roles were a#more central concept that enveloped divergences from expected masculinity. Whereas now the akoshos space is significantly narrower#and the concept of 'effeminate man' exists in tandem as a stigmatized descriptor. And things have gotten to the point of#people claiming that ''effeminate men'' will 'pretend' to be akoshos#The akoshos identity becoming stigmatized/phased out isn't inevitable but the tensions around it are definitely growing#Though there's also a sense that Peak Patriarchy has been hit and you're starting to see people pushing back at these norms in fairly#notable ways. There's not going to be like. A feminist revolution but civilian women getting more political freedoms (while the overall#context stays patriarchal) is a likely outcome which could also have side benefits of relaxing masculinity standards Somewhat
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jumping off the back of the post about genres of song lyrics, another thing about tmbg's lyrics in particular is that even when they write about pleasant themes, they still manage to frequently do so through a sinister lens:
the experience of having children and looking after them:
a nice little nightlight protecting a child muses on the shortcomings it would have outside its assigned responsibility:
fantasising about getting high in the park with your crush:
#tmbg#AND. I love it.#please feel free to add to this btw. I feel like there's more flansburgh examples but they're dropping out of my head#I've gone on and on about ''sleeping in the flowers'' already. so I won't repeat myself too much in the tags here#but I can also see how it's intended to come across as playful. like.#it's two people in love having a silly exchange between each other#I also like the little interlude from the nightlight's lullaby-of-sorts to the child to describing how it would make a really bad lighthous#''man it's a good thing I'm not one of those. I'm too small. if I did that then people at sea would crash and drown horribly hahaha#anyway good night''#and actually re: nanobots. it only just occurred to me#I'd gotten 'newborn citizenship of the micronations'' being a verbose way to describe. babies lol#but is the start of verse about the actual birth of a child and getting so distracted by the preparation and stress#that you almost forget oh yeah. I have this kid now :)#and thinking about how even tho your worries around that are now over you'll focus instead on all the future responsibilities you'll have#how does something written in such a detatched way manage to be so sweet
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The crime boat speedruns their Getting Past It therapy when they dock at a pretty island and everyone does MDMA together
#Just kidding children don't do drugs and such. And don't read more tags#Idk man I think everyone being like 'no bro I understand why you killed me I get it and your hair is so soft' wouldn't impede the speed#Grudges?? What grudges?? We cuddled for 5 hours last night we're past that. Why don't you try touching some soft hair and maybe you'll cal#not an art#Drug cw#Ok don't do drugs tho but if you DO then be in a great environment like me
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Thinking about the possible aftermath between Tomura and Izuku after the war, and how Inko might feel about it
Like... You tried to kill my son multiple times. You held him hostage once. You tried to kill everyone. The attack from your villain group is the reason he isolated himself from the people who love him. I can't understand you. I don't think I want to understand you. How could you do all of this? Why did my son want to save you?
Why, in the end, did it work?
You're in this room with these heroes and I don't know anything about you but still I never imagined someone like you could look so small. I don't know what they plan to do with you. I don't know what to do either. I used to think you should leave us alone, locked up and shut away. But the way my son looks at you, the way he hangs onto the hope for your future, the way he looks even more changed after coming out of that final battle, I wonder if he wants there to be another way. I wonder if locking you away is the right thing
I offered cookies to my son. I only offered them to you because I felt obligated and nervous about what you would do if left out. I can't forget the look on your face when you took one and bit into it. You thanked me, quietly, and it was strange to me that a villain like you could behave in such a way
You look small again. You keep to yourself despite how rude you can be. You keep bringing out that video game device when you're bored and take up space anywhere you can, on the floor or on the couch, in people's way. There's paperwork to do, a pile they want you to fill out before going forward, and you're groaning like it's homework. You behave more like a teenager than a villain. You're more like a kid, sometimes
I made cookies again. This time I offer one to you because I want to. You take one and thank me before you even take a bite. It's like you already know they'll be good
I could have sworn I only had one son
#obvs it would be a little more complex than that#specifically the whole 'is locking you up the right way' thing. there'd be more to that#but whatever you get what im saying#I THINK ABOUT INKO MEETING TOMURA... A LOT#idk man the transition from 'im scared you'll hurt my son again i want you out of our lives'#to 'this villain is just a kid. if you even think about hurting my boy again i'll strike you down myself.#i made katsudon. yes there's a place for you at the table'#is one i think they could have. maybe#i also think she'd get used to him through all might#all might 'wants to make things right' toshinori yagi#all might wanting to make dinner for tomura and izuku and he asks inko to help#suddenly she's having dinner with izu and all might and The Number One Villain. or um. ex Number One Villain#is there a fic about this? there needs to be a fic about this#if i had a penny for every time inko midoriya allowed someone into izuku's life at dinner i would have 2 pennies#which isn't a lot but it's weird that it could happen twice#bnha#inko midoriya#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki and midoriya#mettys posts#metty posts#this ran away from me real quick but the point is.. i want inko and tomura to interact. i would like to see what happens
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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casey's story breaks my heart. im reading your post about amatriaín and jorge now as well and i just........ these were only kids :( this isn't to assume that all parents/caregivers/people in their lives are negligent and/or abusive but i always wonder who is protecting child/teen/younger adult riders and drivers esp when they are in the highest levels of their sport at such a young age. it seems like, especially in years gone past, there was just so much scope for these kids to be abused. although i remember a couple years ago that clip of a young rider getting hit by mechanics so that kind of stuff isn't even in the past rly.
yeah not much to say really, I mean honestly it's... I'm not going to say every guardian of a professional athlete is abusive because that'd be a crazy thing to say, but I would say that the process that makes these kids so good at what they are does also in many, many cases not reflect particularly well on the parents. tbh a lot of the safeguarding has to be taken more seriously way before these kids even get to a grand prix paddock, but that also isn't easy to do... I can only speak to my own experiences, but as someone who spent a lot of my teenage years hanging around tennis clubs, it is pretty horrifying how normalised parental abuse is in sports circles. it's just something you see all the time - and this is obviously still only the public stuff, the gossip you hear, where you can read between the lines. though honestly, a lot of the times you really don't need to be reading much between the lines. the most extreme example was when a father of a kid I trained with went so far he had the cops called on him when they were at a tournament, but again. obviously this is only the extreme. even a lot of the public abuse is tacitly accepted, and there's a lot of parental behaviour that might not qualify for the 'abusive' label but sure isn't in line with what I view as acceptable. and that's just the parents - you essentially get a lot of cases of them outsourcing this stuff to the coaches, who often get a carte blanche to do with their kids what they please. obviously I'm only familiar with this stuff personally on the juniors circuit, but unhealthy coaching relationships is also a recurring and troubling talking point on the pro circuit. especially in women's tennis you get some pretty horrifying stories. the whole thing just feels pretty rotten
ideally what you've got to do to at least TRY and stamp this stuff out is having a zero tolerance policy - whether it's in clubs or in paddocks. a system of consequences in place where physical or verbal abuse comes with repercussions... I know the risk is you just take this stuff behind closed doors, but to me the starting point problem is that it's also the culture of juniors sports - where if anything treating your kid like absolute shit is almost celebrated at times. you have to make this stuff more shameful. I have no clue to what extent motorcycling juniors clubs look like what I was accustomed to, but in all honesty I reckon you'd see a lot of the same behaviour from parents/mentors - and that at least you've got to address. but obviously that doesn't just like. fix the problem. with someone like jorge, you very obviously did need someone else to step in... but if you don't have very visible, obvious abuse, then how do you enforce that? talent spotters like amatriain have immense power within the system - jorge's father was practically begging this bloke to take jorge on, jorge wouldn't have thanked you for getting rid of him until towards the very end of their partnership, he very likely wouldn't have the career he did without the guy. and it's one of those jobs that (like sports parent) tends to attract the exact type of person you really don't want to give power over kids. again, I'm not saying they're all like that, I wouldn't know, but so many of these managers just have so many stories that raise an eyebrow... even when it's not actively related to how they're treating children, but the fact that so many of them have a history of being aggressive to reporters? the thing is, if they're being awful to these kids in all likelihood we'll never hear about it - but reporters are obviously way more likely to tell people about it. which means that every time I read one of those stories, my main takeaway is that these managers are blokes who will get aggressive when things don't go their way. also not ideal
and below that is a layer that becomes increasingly impossible to even begin to address. I mean, look at casey. I have no reason to accuse his parents of being abusive towards him. I'm not trying to make it sound like I think they're horrible people. and I do think we do always need to be clear here - like yes, I'm talking about a general concern I have here about the relationship between mentor figures and the kids in their care, but obviously that covers a very wide variety of sins. I am not drawing any equivalences between them. there's 'being a bad mentor' and then there's 'having a restraining order filed against you'. so with that massive caveat in place... I agree with you, anon, that I also feel sad about casey's story, and yeah, it makes me uncomfortable
casey does think his parents pushed their dream onto him and ensured that his future would always lie in motorcycle racing... which, I mean. god. if you read him saying it was always his parents' dream side-by-side with him saying they always put pressure on him to work for his dream, then it's just one of those parental dynamics that read as achingly familiar - kids who have been convinced they're doing this for themselves and are then made to feel guilty when they're not living up to their parents' standards. we've sacrificed everything for you, right, you need to make it worth it... casey was told that this was his dream, and the stakes for success and failure were horrifyingly high. he had his entire family's livelihood on his shoulders from age fourteen... his family invested everything into him, told him it was all for his sake- and ensured that he would feel like he was letting them down every time he didn't perform. by some miracle, he had the talent to make it through the system, but think about how precarious his journey was despite being perhaps the most talented motorcycle racer in the history of the sport. how many turning points in his career easily could have gone the other way. for every casey, there are so many more kids who won't make it, and will somehow have to live with the consequences of that failure. and these dynamics... again, I'm not going to label them outright abusive, but think about the kind of stress they place on the parental relationship. idk. it might be a reality of professional sports... parents do often have to sacrifice a lot for their children's career - and given how early kids need to start out to succeed these days, inevitably quite a bit of that desire and drive will come from the parents. but it isn't a reality that sits comfortably with me
so, what do you do about any of this? well, again, I do think you need to do the bare minimum and not tolerate clearly abusive behaviour in sporting environments. which feels like stating the obvious, but this is a low bar that often just isn't being cleared. and yeah - that recent example within the motogp paddock of a rider being assaulted by a team member... definitely not going to be a one-off. just feels inevitable that this will be happening behind closed doors, especially when you get to the lower rungs where the competitors have less power and are less likely to be willing to risk anything (+ are also generally younger)
there's other safeguarding measures you could put in place, but it probably won't happen because people just don't care enough. first off, you need a riders' union - an organisation that's there solely to listen to riders' problems and act on them, advocate on their behalf etc. a big reason why young riders simply are not going to report any abuse is that this will almost certainly cost them professionally. you are essentially asking them to cut off their already limited support network, often the people providing them direct financial support or even employing them. if you cannot build up trust by having the mechanisms in place to take action against the abusive party (through cooperation with the series organisers), as well as provide support to the rider, then the reality is that basically none of them would ever come forward. secondly, you simply need stronger regulation of the career ladder. there's too many of these big name talent spotters who just coast through the paddock by having accumulated influence over the years, with zero reason to believe they have their charges' best interests at heart... often former riders themselves, but that's not exactly a pedagogical qualification. look, it's tricky to regulate because the exact roles these blokes play in riders' lives is so malleable and comes associated with all kinds of job titles - maybe you're a rider coach or manager or team boss or something else entirely. but ideally you want a system where certain privileges - like even entry to certain areas of the paddock - has to come along with accepting a certain level of regulatory oversight. make these blokes directly accountable and force them to uphold a professional code, in line with what you'd expect of any other professional who hold power over a vulnerable population. make it clear to them that they're being watched. I also don't think it's crazy to suggest that if you let minors race in a grand prix paddock, you should have some sort of system in place where the series organisers directly and regularly check in with the minors in their care. there will be a lot of behaviour that children do not themselves see as abusive - obviously it's very plausible that they just won't tell you the truth, but you have to start somewhere. motorcycle racing does actually have an advantage over many other individual sports in how centralised it is, how everyone is constantly going to the same location. they would have the power to enforce some of these standards
thirdly, and this is even less likely than the others to gain any traction. ... man, you've got to make sure these kids have options. this is becoming worse and worse the more professionalised sports become, the more they all chase their youthful prodigies... but, y'know, think about how early so many of these children drop out of school, how it's increasingly unlikely they've had the time to foster any sort of other interest (another theme of casey's account, "I don’t know if I was allowed to have any other attraction"). how motorcycle racing is the only thing they've ever known, how it's their whole world. you're raising a group of young people to whom leaving that world would basically feel like dying. it makes the stakes of everything so enormous, it twists these parental relationships, and it also ensures that certain figures have so, so much power over these kids. obviously nobody is forcing them at gunpoint to race - but in reality, it feels like they don't even have the option of walking away. again, this is obviously a massive problem to address that no sport has entirely sorted out, and the series organisers can rightly say it's not their responsibility to make kids go to school. honestly, my first step would be to just... do something about these age limits. they're too low! too many of these kids are too young for grand prix racing! a starting point is to try and make it so that kids aren't being actively penalised for attempting to pursue an education. this feels another area where you'd really want to have an actual union - even to just have someone to talk to. and again, as long as the series organisers let children race, then I do think it's actually also some of their responsibility to look out for them. realistically, a lot of these kids don't actually want to walk away from racing - however you get to that point, it is also very much their dream. but anything you can do to lessen the influence of the worst people in their lives, anything you can do to at least remind them they can walk away... idk. it's the right thing to do. especially for the kids who aren't succeeding, help them on their way out
now look, this isn't a detailed manifesto. I do know that some other sports have implemented similar-ish measures to the ones above but I couldn't give you a breakdown without some research. I'm not an expert on preventative measures for child abuse, and I'm sure some of these could come with unintended consequences I'm unaware of. I also know all of these things range from 'desperately unlikely' to 'never going to happen'. and even if you did, it's really only taking a pickaxe to the tip of the iceberg. or something. to reiterate what I said at the top, I don't want to make it sound like I think all parents of athletes are abusive. I also don't think the mentors are either. I do think a lot of them are... and even beyond that - the way sports is structured, the way the ladder to professional sports is structured, you are going to see a lot of unhealthy dynamics involving very young people in vulnerable positions. and I don't think that's in any way easy to address... but y'know. sometimes it'd be nice if somebody were at least trying. the sport is doing less than the bare minimum. and for every story we hear, there's going to be so so many more where we'll remain entirely ignorant
#again this isn't like. a completely thought out response#it is a general topic i have thought about a fair bit but mostly in the context of a completely different sport#but to some extent it's frustrating because i feel like with how insular and centralised motogp is... it should be easier to do SOMETHING#it's also a culture thing like... all these old men with their massive egos and too much power. playing god with young boys' lives#there is also something particularly gross about it in this sport because of how *dangerous* it is#i enjoy moto3 as a category but honestly i never feel *great* watching it. just very uncomfortable#in a way you'll never be completely able to fix unless you ban motorcycle racing but... man these kids need people looking out for them#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#cw child abuse
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(...) every time [he] looks at me with those big innocent eyes, all I can think about is every shitty thing I've ever done and I think, "I don't deserve that kind of love".
#this is not the last of b/ojack references you'll see from me btw lmao#lotus speaks#irondad#homecoming#spider-man: homecoming#also i rewatched this scene at least ten times today#i never rlly noticed how tony somewhat panics here#before he puts on his glasses again#he's like 'oh shit. oh shit this kid is too precious and i don't deserve him'
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hypothetically (and this takes place in adulthood, duh), how do you think Abe would be if he had kids? i'd think he'd be a good dad.
Omg the hardest question for me ever ☹ I never can imagine anyone as a parent, because i know there are cases where people seem to like kids, but don't want to have them or can't take care of them. Or the people that want to have kids desperately and then neglect and abuse them (btw popular thing where i live </3). I feel like having children can totally change your view on life and act unpredictably. It's such a big responsibility! woah...
Well, about Abe... I think about it sometimes and... YES. I believe he can be a great father. I think that way because i have read something about Abraham Lincoln's attitude towards children (including his own) and he was VERY KIND TO THEM AWWWWW bro he is so good with little kids, the best dad ever... I hope Abe's clonefather inspired him enough to appreciate children. I kinda love to project og's behaviour onto the clone. Oh, also, important thing!! I almost forgot that in canon Abe has pretty good foster parents (i always noticed that) and i believe they also raised him right. He can look up to them and become a good parent too.
Omg what an angel 🥺
Ofc it will be hard at first, newborns are very restless most of the times, but i just know that he will take all the responsibility, maybe even spend many sleepless nights trying to calm the baby down, so his loved one can sleep well. Yknow, his selflessness... When his kid will grow older, he will try his best to spend more time with them probably: play games, watch movies, take them to parks and attractions. I know he will always try his best. I know that he would like to be the best dad. He will teach his kid to be kind and empathetic. He will do a very good job.
But i know that there will be troubles sometimes, family life is not always that easy... I know he will feel very bad sometimes, maybe annoyed and angry, but i believe he will be fine after, cuz i think that in adulthood he will be more emotionally intelligent and will be able to communicate his feelings. yep...
Lowkey i think he will always feel "not good enough" to be a dad, but that's just anxiety :) He will be the best dad ever!!
#alkenetalks#I'M KINDA.... SCARED TO PUT CLONE HIGH TAGS CUZ.....#DAMN.......#do i look crazy writing a whole paragraph about abe being a good father#you can't even imagine how much i love imagining this bro in such cute scenarios where he loves and is loved back#KIDS WILL LOVE HIM FOR SURE#guys find yourself a man like abe and you'll be the happiest family in the world i guarantee#this ask took more time to answer bc i was daydreaming half of the time#bro is such a cutie patootie#never wanted to have children actually but after this post i kinda- LMAO OKAY JUST KIDDING
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Michael Afton's face when he finds out Michael Brooks who he called Homophobic words throughout all of Middle school and high school is now happily married with his husband and is living like a good happy life.
Well he's a lonely old angry inhuman loser
#To find out the kid you bullied for being gay in middle school is a happy married the gay man with like kids and junk makes#You once you come home from talking to Carlton curl up in a ball and cry and talk to your giant Poster of Britney Spears And your cat#Because your best friend Charlie is currently missing and you're so goddamn lonely Without her#And you know you'll never ever be able to have that kind of relationship or any kind of relationship ever#because you're a brother murdering monster and a regular monster....#michael afton#fnaf inferno au
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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