#there is also something particularly gross about it in this sport because of how *dangerous* it is

[batsplat]

casey's story breaks my heart. im reading your post about amatriaín and jorge now as well and i just........ these were only kids :( this isn't to assume that all parents/caregivers/people in their lives are negligent and/or abusive but i always wonder who is protecting child/teen/younger adult riders and drivers esp when they are in the highest levels of their sport at such a young age. it seems like, especially in years gone past, there was just so much scope for these kids to be abused. although i remember a couple years ago that clip of a young rider getting hit by mechanics so that kind of stuff isn't even in the past rly.

yeah not much to say really, I mean honestly it's... I'm not going to say every guardian of a professional athlete is abusive because that'd be a crazy thing to say, but I would say that the process that makes these kids so good at what they are does also in many, many cases not reflect particularly well on the parents. tbh a lot of the safeguarding has to be taken more seriously way before these kids even get to a grand prix paddock, but that also isn't easy to do... I can only speak to my own experiences, but as someone who spent a lot of my teenage years hanging around tennis clubs, it is pretty horrifying how normalised parental abuse is in sports circles. it's just something you see all the time - and this is obviously still only the public stuff, the gossip you hear, where you can read between the lines. though honestly, a lot of the times you really don't need to be reading much between the lines. the most extreme example was when a father of a kid I trained with went so far he had the cops called on him when they were at a tournament, but again. obviously this is only the extreme. even a lot of the public abuse is tacitly accepted, and there's a lot of parental behaviour that might not qualify for the 'abusive' label but sure isn't in line with what I view as acceptable. and that's just the parents - you essentially get a lot of cases of them outsourcing this stuff to the coaches, who often get a carte blanche to do with their kids what they please. obviously I'm only familiar with this stuff personally on the juniors circuit, but unhealthy coaching relationships is also a recurring and troubling talking point on the pro circuit. especially in women's tennis you get some pretty horrifying stories. the whole thing just feels pretty rotten

ideally what you've got to do to at least TRY and stamp this stuff out is having a zero tolerance policy - whether it's in clubs or in paddocks. a system of consequences in place where physical or verbal abuse comes with repercussions... I know the risk is you just take this stuff behind closed doors, but to me the starting point problem is that it's also the culture of juniors sports - where if anything treating your kid like absolute shit is almost celebrated at times. you have to make this stuff more shameful. I have no clue to what extent motorcycling juniors clubs look like what I was accustomed to, but in all honesty I reckon you'd see a lot of the same behaviour from parents/mentors - and that at least you've got to address. but obviously that doesn't just like. fix the problem. with someone like jorge, you very obviously did need someone else to step in... but if you don't have very visible, obvious abuse, then how do you enforce that? talent spotters like amatriain have immense power within the system - jorge's father was practically begging this bloke to take jorge on, jorge wouldn't have thanked you for getting rid of him until towards the very end of their partnership, he very likely wouldn't have the career he did without the guy. and it's one of those jobs that (like sports parent) tends to attract the exact type of person you really don't want to give power over kids. again, I'm not saying they're all like that, I wouldn't know, but so many of these managers just have so many stories that raise an eyebrow... even when it's not actively related to how they're treating children, but the fact that so many of them have a history of being aggressive to reporters? the thing is, if they're being awful to these kids in all likelihood we'll never hear about it - but reporters are obviously way more likely to tell people about it. which means that every time I read one of those stories, my main takeaway is that these managers are blokes who will get aggressive when things don't go their way. also not ideal

and below that is a layer that becomes increasingly impossible to even begin to address. I mean, look at casey. I have no reason to accuse his parents of being abusive towards him. I'm not trying to make it sound like I think they're horrible people. and I do think we do always need to be clear here - like yes, I'm talking about a general concern I have here about the relationship between mentor figures and the kids in their care, but obviously that covers a very wide variety of sins. I am not drawing any equivalences between them. there's 'being a bad mentor' and then there's 'having a restraining order filed against you'. so with that massive caveat in place... I agree with you, anon, that I also feel sad about casey's story, and yeah, it makes me uncomfortable

casey does think his parents pushed their dream onto him and ensured that his future would always lie in motorcycle racing... which, I mean. god. if you read him saying it was always his parents' dream side-by-side with him saying they always put pressure on him to work for his dream, then it's just one of those parental dynamics that read as achingly familiar - kids who have been convinced they're doing this for themselves and are then made to feel guilty when they're not living up to their parents' standards. we've sacrificed everything for you, right, you need to make it worth it... casey was told that this was his dream, and the stakes for success and failure were horrifyingly high. he had his entire family's livelihood on his shoulders from age fourteen... his family invested everything into him, told him it was all for his sake- and ensured that he would feel like he was letting them down every time he didn't perform. by some miracle, he had the talent to make it through the system, but think about how precarious his journey was despite being perhaps the most talented motorcycle racer in the history of the sport. how many turning points in his career easily could have gone the other way. for every casey, there are so many more kids who won't make it, and will somehow have to live with the consequences of that failure. and these dynamics... again, I'm not going to label them outright abusive, but think about the kind of stress they place on the parental relationship. idk. it might be a reality of professional sports... parents do often have to sacrifice a lot for their children's career - and given how early kids need to start out to succeed these days, inevitably quite a bit of that desire and drive will come from the parents. but it isn't a reality that sits comfortably with me

so, what do you do about any of this? well, again, I do think you need to do the bare minimum and not tolerate clearly abusive behaviour in sporting environments. which feels like stating the obvious, but this is a low bar that often just isn't being cleared. and yeah - that recent example within the motogp paddock of a rider being assaulted by a team member... definitely not going to be a one-off. just feels inevitable that this will be happening behind closed doors, especially when you get to the lower rungs where the competitors have less power and are less likely to be willing to risk anything (+ are also generally younger)

there's other safeguarding measures you could put in place, but it probably won't happen because people just don't care enough. first off, you need a riders' union - an organisation that's there solely to listen to riders' problems and act on them, advocate on their behalf etc. a big reason why young riders simply are not going to report any abuse is that this will almost certainly cost them professionally. you are essentially asking them to cut off their already limited support network, often the people providing them direct financial support or even employing them. if you cannot build up trust by having the mechanisms in place to take action against the abusive party (through cooperation with the series organisers), as well as provide support to the rider, then the reality is that basically none of them would ever come forward. secondly, you simply need stronger regulation of the career ladder. there's too many of these big name talent spotters who just coast through the paddock by having accumulated influence over the years, with zero reason to believe they have their charges' best interests at heart... often former riders themselves, but that's not exactly a pedagogical qualification. look, it's tricky to regulate because the exact roles these blokes play in riders' lives is so malleable and comes associated with all kinds of job titles - maybe you're a rider coach or manager or team boss or something else entirely. but ideally you want a system where certain privileges - like even entry to certain areas of the paddock - has to come along with accepting a certain level of regulatory oversight. make these blokes directly accountable and force them to uphold a professional code, in line with what you'd expect of any other professional who hold power over a vulnerable population. make it clear to them that they're being watched. I also don't think it's crazy to suggest that if you let minors race in a grand prix paddock, you should have some sort of system in place where the series organisers directly and regularly check in with the minors in their care. there will be a lot of behaviour that children do not themselves see as abusive - obviously it's very plausible that they just won't tell you the truth, but you have to start somewhere. motorcycle racing does actually have an advantage over many other individual sports in how centralised it is, how everyone is constantly going to the same location. they would have the power to enforce some of these standards

thirdly, and this is even less likely than the others to gain any traction. ... man, you've got to make sure these kids have options. this is becoming worse and worse the more professionalised sports become, the more they all chase their youthful prodigies... but, y'know, think about how early so many of these children drop out of school, how it's increasingly unlikely they've had the time to foster any sort of other interest (another theme of casey's account, "I don’t know if I was allowed to have any other attraction"). how motorcycle racing is the only thing they've ever known, how it's their whole world. you're raising a group of young people to whom leaving that world would basically feel like dying. it makes the stakes of everything so enormous, it twists these parental relationships, and it also ensures that certain figures have so, so much power over these kids. obviously nobody is forcing them at gunpoint to race - but in reality, it feels like they don't even have the option of walking away. again, this is obviously a massive problem to address that no sport has entirely sorted out, and the series organisers can rightly say it's not their responsibility to make kids go to school. honestly, my first step would be to just... do something about these age limits. they're too low! too many of these kids are too young for grand prix racing! a starting point is to try and make it so that kids aren't being actively penalised for attempting to pursue an education. this feels another area where you'd really want to have an actual union - even to just have someone to talk to. and again, as long as the series organisers let children race, then I do think it's actually also some of their responsibility to look out for them. realistically, a lot of these kids don't actually want to walk away from racing - however you get to that point, it is also very much their dream. but anything you can do to lessen the influence of the worst people in their lives, anything you can do to at least remind them they can walk away... idk. it's the right thing to do. especially for the kids who aren't succeeding, help them on their way out

now look, this isn't a detailed manifesto. I do know that some other sports have implemented similar-ish measures to the ones above but I couldn't give you a breakdown without some research. I'm not an expert on preventative measures for child abuse, and I'm sure some of these could come with unintended consequences I'm unaware of. I also know all of these things range from 'desperately unlikely' to 'never going to happen'. and even if you did, it's really only taking a pickaxe to the tip of the iceberg. or something. to reiterate what I said at the top, I don't want to make it sound like I think all parents of athletes are abusive. I also don't think the mentors are either. I do think a lot of them are... and even beyond that - the way sports is structured, the way the ladder to professional sports is structured, you are going to see a lot of unhealthy dynamics involving very young people in vulnerable positions. and I don't think that's in any way easy to address... but y'know. sometimes it'd be nice if somebody were at least trying. the sport is doing less than the bare minimum. and for every story we hear, there's going to be so so many more where we'll remain entirely ignorant

[peachypunk22]

Harringrove Feedback Fest

not me participating in something when I haven’t been active in months 😅 

fic recs from AO3 authors that inspire me! these fics are all incredible and i’ve re-read each one listed multiple times!! 

@gothyringwald thank you for putting this together! its such a cute idea!

knit more tightly together by lymrics (E) @lymricks

part one of the blues in chicago series. i think one of the first harringrove fics I read. love the steve/billy dynamic and so emotional and high tension that im pretty sure it made me cry at some point? even though it’s not a sad fic! idk it just really pulled some emotion up. literally the fic that got me into the fandom and wanting to write for it! the whole series is amazing!

Steve takes a second to feel relieved it's not Dustin getting all sorts of arrested in places he shouldn’t be, then he goes back to staring.

It's Billy, who looks as good now as he did the last time Steve saw him: three years ago. He looks just as complicated, too. He’s got bruises on his face, a split lip.

star-crossed bullshit (black holes feast) by ?? (E)

this work got orphaned, but i’m so glad the author didn’t delete because it’s one of my all time faves! strong dom/sub undertones and messy relationship with an incredible use of the unreliable narrator! plus it has mechanic!billy 

Billy makes a mixtape for when he fucks boys, except it’s on Spotify, and he’s only fucking Steve, and all the songs are oddly, and suspiciously, romantic.

liquor (on your lips, makes you dangerous) by eternalgoldfish (E) @eternalgoldfish

i love a college!au with some gross hot Billy and this one is so good. equal parts cute, funny, and sweet with a side of kinky that I hadn’t read before

“Careful, sweetie, don’t break a nail,” Billy said, leaning over Steve’s shoulder, lazy cat’s-grin gleaming up to his eyes.

“I’m not going to break a fucking nail.” Steve hissed and elbowed him, like he hadn’t been thinking the same thing as he struggled to wedge one of his shiny red nails into his wallet’s tight leather pockets.

Or, Steve makes a bet he can't win and Billy doesn't realize his mistake.

i’m saucing on you by Boardingschooled (E)

speaking of college!au’s this one has fratboy!Billy being gross hot in all the best ways. also sweaty concert grinding, boys being absolutley smitten, and waffle house breakfast dates? it’s like college slaps you in the face and makes you listen to AMINE and it’s great

Steve wants a ticket to the biggest party on campus; Billy's got one with Steve's name on it.

Tale as Old as Time by hoppnhorn (M) @hoppnhorn

i’m an absolute sucker for beauty and the beast au’s and hoppnhorn is such a fantastic writer that i had to include this one

Prince William, imprisoned in the form of a beast, can be freed only by true love. What may be his only opportunity arrives when he meets Steven, a man who bewitches him from the very moment he steps foot in his enchanted castle.

Honeyed Wine by Antarc (T) @rascheln

am i biased because this fic has literally all of the thing i like because it was written for me? perhaps. but for real, this fic is SO sweet and well-written! it has baker!billy and a twist at the end that i did not see coming at all. every time i read it i just have a huge smile on my face

While he recovers from an injury at Robin's farm and helps run her market stall, Steve unexpectedly reunites with his old high school rival. Billy, once a tough asshole who got into weekly fights, is now a proud owner of the best bakery in town and mans the stall right next to Steve's- with the best croissants Steve has ever eaten.

samarra by gothyringwald (T) @gothyringwald

i think this was the first fic in a long time that i’ve read that took a more gen/mystery/sci-fi approach, with the romance taking a backseat for most of it, and honestly this fic made me remember how much i like reading. the story and universe building is excellent. very trippy and gives off a lot of twin peaks dream walking surrealist vibes.

When the kids bring Billy back from the dead, it doesn’t go quite as expected: he’s alive but his soul has been left behind. And Steve is the only person who can bring it back.

Salt in the Wound by SheWritesDirty (E) @shewritesdirty

if ‘fuck your enemies’ was a genre, this would be THE fic. rough, gritty, and violent. I could wax poetic about how much I love the writing style and imagery and how different it feels in comparison to other fic. steve and billy are toxic and messy and so bad that its good

The way he ate slow, like his jaw hurt. Like it was tender, like whatever had put that bruise on his face had left more of an impact than just… flesh and bone. And now that he was seeing it... Steve knew that he hadn’t done that to Billy.

That someone else had, after that night and over the weekend... someone else had gotten their hands on Billy and put karma into his skin.

And he still hadn’t looked at Steve.

Here I Go Again by HeckinaHandbasket (E) (WIP) @heck-in-a-handbasket

oh god oblivious!Steve is top tier in this A/B/O fic. combine with a lifeguard!billy that’s trying (and failing) in his rough, fumbling way to make it obvious that he’s courting him and you get this adorable mess. it’s so sweet and funny and the rest of the gang are actual little kids that run around and create havoc. i’m always excited when it updates!

Not just a new lifeguard, either. No, Billy was the lifeguard supervisor.

Because of course he was, the prick.

Swing Away by lemonlovely (E)

sports!au sports!au sports!au - specifically a baseball!au that actually serves as a really cool character exploration of billy and his dad and sports. this one is so bittersweet and i love the dynamic between steve and billy as they figure out a rocky start to a friendship and romance

Steve and Billy go to the same Hawkins Baseball Camp that Steve's been going to since he was a kid, and Billy is not particularly thrilled to be there - he fucking hates baseball, alright? And he tells Steve as much.

lamp-bright rind by nagdabbit (G) 

chef!Billy teaching his neighbor Steve how to cook au. unbelievably sweet and a writing style that is unique, expressive, and comedic. you really fall in love with the characters, as flawed as they may be, and the descriptions of food. did i mention its an almost 100k slow-burn? 

Billy spies on his cute neighbor, his cute neighbor doesn't know how to cook. Luckily, Billy can do something about that.

[magpiemorality]

Remus vs. His Birthday

Long post is long, keep reading isn’t working sorry all!

Warnings: mentions of death, blood, gore, murder, nsfw things; unfriendly Remus (he’s just antagonistic not unsympathetic); Remus being rude about the nsfs tag (not an opinion the author holds).

AO3

***

What exactly was the point, Remus wondered, of a birthday? Was it a celebration of cheating death? A consolation prize for getting through another solar rotation of mundane life? An apology to everyone in your life for existing? 

Yeah Remus wasn’t sold. Why would you bother? If it was a celebration why celebrate only once a year, when society told you you could, rather than whenever life was actually worth celebrating? Why not impose yourself on all days, or better yet forget days were a thing at all? 

(That last part sounded like Janus when he was on one of his society-is-a-con rants but Remus liked the idea. And the rants. They were pretty fun to listen to.)

Today was, apparently, Remus’ birthday, for all that meant to him. The real issue was that, irritatingly, it meant something to everyone else. And before this year, specifically this year, that would have meant squat. But this damn year it meant plans. 

Plans were another thing Remus didn’t see the point of. Why think about future things when you could think about now things and just do them? He was all impulse, by design, and sticking to a plan was incomprehensible and pretty revolting to think about, torture plain and simple for a creature like him. 

Remus seethed at the very concept, staring daggers at the envelope that had dropped into his home in the subconscious. Literal daggers, shredding the cheerful mint green paper of it with vicious pleasure, until the daggers were just thudding into the floor underneath and he got distracted playing target practice with various shadows of particularly nasty thoughts that crept through the dark corners down where he lived. 

Daggers exhausted and eyes back to normal, he collapsed into the blow up armchair he so adored (mostly because it made brilliant fart-like noises whenever he shifted around) and wondering if plotting went against his moral stance on plans. He felt like plotting. He felt like not celebrating his birthday thank you very much. 

Unfortunately the next thing to drop in was much more Thomas-shaped, and it dusted itself off nonchalantly while he considered a return to the dagger-eyes. 

“J-anus.”

“Remus. Must we be like that?” Janus asked with his very carefully crafted snobbish distaste. “I come in peace.”

“Wish you’d come in pieces. That would’ve been much more fun,” Remus muttered, and as he blinked at the other side body parts started to drop piece by piece around his intruder. Janus glanced down at the first and hid a delicate shudder, returning his gaze to Remus’ face and steadfastly holding it there. Remus dropped a nose on his shoulder just to spite him. He could appreciate a good pun as well as the next side. 

Janus cleared his throat. “We would like to celebrate your birthday. It’s not entirely, ah, a birthday party, per se? But Logan predicts the fans might celebrate for you, and Thomas will naturally be unable not to think of you much. The invitation was more of a heads up.”

“Attention? On moi? I’ll have to dress appropriately. Birthday suit is only right!”

“Remus-”

“What? Don’t approve? It’s not even my birthday, Snake Bell. They’re just something Daddy latched onto to make his dreams of normality come true. Besides, it’s not like anyone wants me front of mind- where worse to have your darkest thoughts after all?” 

“That’s not the point.”

“Ah, points. I was thinking about those. I think the more the better-” he grinned, twirling his hand and summoning his morning star into it “-but this has precisely none. I don’t want to celebrate it. No one else wants to celebrate it. Drop it there, or I’ll drop you all one by one off a tall building. Or maybe the plank. Now pirates, there’s a fun aesthetic...”

Clearly the conversation wasn’t going the way Janus wanted because he looked visibly frustrated, pulling his hat off to rake a hand through his hair with a little scowl marring his- well, half of his face. If Remus took a meat-cleaver down the centre of his skull he wouldn’t have matching halves. Ooh, Heathers. Now there was another fun aesthetic. Imagine turning up to the joke of a celebration in a cutesy prep school outfit complete with croquet mallet. Hammer. Thing. Remus wasn’t sure of the name, but it didn’t have any points so meh. Maybe it could be a fun experiment, like the Riverdale Heathers episode, which Remus had only experienced through the triple layer disconnect of Thomas watching it and unwittingly handing it over to Janus to hide down in the subconscious where all the other undesirable memories, experiences and miscellaneous things lived. Like Remus! 

But he was losing focus, and Janus was still there. Ugh.

“Just be prepared, alright? It would be highly appreciated if you didn’t just show up and antagonise Thomas on the one day he’s allowing you up front. I know it’s hard but just... ix-nay on the eath-day, ex-say and ore-gay?”

“Ooh, ore-gay, or orgy? Did you mean to say orgy?” Remus grinned sharply and Janus’ remaining composure dribbled away. 

He muffled a scream into his gloved hands before glaring once more at Remus. “Just behave. Or I will put you back here, and you will stay here until even the memory of you has faded, understood?”

Remus’ mouth clicked shut and he nodded, eyes narrowed balefully under the scorching threat. “Understood. But next time you feel the need to threaten me with hiding again, maybe don’t do it in my own home, hm?”

“Wha-”

“Bye Felicia.” The sound of Janus’ screech as he was shot upwards by a giant tentacle and shoved back through the ceiling to where he belonged was like music to Remus’ ears. Scream music. Oh, how interesting, what if he took screamo music and put it to actual screams?! 

~

It was such a good idea that he forgot about his ‘birthday’ entirely while focused on his project until the next day, when the tugging started. It was gentle at first, just the odd prod, like a big finger was occasionally checking his responses. Like he was a tiny lab rat in a giant world, and boy did that one hit a little too close to home. Home here being allofhisgreatestfearsatonce. 

He didn’t want to answer the call, he really didn’t, but... Remus was curious, and impulse won out as always. Because why not go look? Why not go see? Who cared how it turned out- the fun was in the spontaneity, in the doing. 

Thomas standing with a faintly amused smile was not what he’d have expected had he expected anything at all. But Thomas standing with a faintly amused smile was what awaited Remus topside, out in the full force of consciousness. It burned, being here, and Remus was reminded once more that in many ways he’d not been imprisoned down below for everyone else’s safety but also his own. Damn the snake for his constant self-preservation. Remus wanted to be mad at him for leaving for once!

“Hi Remus,” Thomas greeted, that same amusement on his tone. And oh, yeah, he’d gone with the Heathers look after all. It was a warm summer day and skirts were nice and breezy, sue him. Remus struck a pose with the croquet... thing, and bared his sharp teeth. 

“Did you miss me? Oh you did miss me didn’t you. I can tell! You’re just so curious about me! Well-”

“Settle down,” Logan warned, and oh. Yuck, other sides. 

“Yeah why don’t you-” Remus screamed, high pitched and piercing, as his supposed twin’s voice came from right behind him, spinning and swinging and almost catching Roman in the face with the blunt weapon. Only Virgil’s quick reflexes managed to save him, leaping into the way to catch the head of the mallet like a baseball. Now baseball, there was an impulsive and dangerous sport. Why had they never taken up baseball? 

Oh that was right... 

“Well done Virgil!” Janus smiled. Because the snake said no. And Virgil said no. And when the two of them agreed even Dream Daddy had to comply. Whatever, it was never too late. The croquet mallet turned into a baseball bat as his thoughts flickered, but it was boring and not pointy enough, until he added the nails. 

Everyone flinched back slightly, even Thomas, and Remus hefted the weapon onto his shoulder with a proud jut to his chin. Good. 

Thomas looked uncertain but he tried again. “Um, that’s cool. Like from the Walking Dead?”

“Just like that! Who volunteers as zombie?!”

“Actually we had something else in mind!” Thomas interjected quickly, turning his phone around to show the screen. “Look, cool art!” 

Remus didn’t miss the glance Thomas sent around the other sides for approval, but he was soon distracted by the contents of the screen. He scrolled, and scrolled, and kept scrolling. Huh. This was, actually pretty cool stuff. Plenty of blood, gore, some sexy things. And all not just about him but for him. Interesting. 

Also this tumble thing was dreadfully good. He’d have to get one. Endlessly scrolling on a sea of blue was the perfect- aka worst- kind of instant gratification mixed with cybergothic horror that he’d always wanted to explore creatively not that Thomas would let him if he only understood more about it. 

Around the room the other sides and Thomas stood, waiting with bated breath to see what might happen. It had been a few minutes of silence, which had Janus’ jaw dropping open and Virgil shifting nervously on his feet. Roman busied himself looking over Remus’ shoulder and trying not to wince at the gross stuff as he appreciated the art himself. Finally it grew too much and Thomas had to know. He had to!

“Is it good? Do you like it? I think there’s a lot of cool stuff there but-”

“Did you know there was an explicit tag specifically for us?” Remus gasped in delight, before frowning. “Jeez, we get our own tag. How prudish are your audience Thomas?”

“And that’s enough of that!” The phone was neatly plucked from Remus’ fingers and tossed over by Roman, shrugging when Remus glared at him. “So what do you think, Remus? They all made that stuff because they wanted to celebrate you. Janus mentioned you don’t like birthdays, but-”

Remus held a hand up to shut him up. “Okay look, it’s not my birthday. But that stuff was pretty cool. Especially the naughty bits. So, uh, thanks I guess. Don’t get used to it but thanks. And now bye! I have zombies to kill. I need to perfect my Hollywood zombie strike for maximum blood spray and noise.” He blew a kiss and vanished in a pop of noxious gas, leaving poor Roman to gag and leap away before it could get on his clothes. 

Beneath them (figuratively) in the subconscious, Remus landed on a trampoline that instantly snapped to dump him on the floor with a thump, where he lay, stunned not from the fall but mostly from all the thoughtful and cool tributes to him he’d seen. Maybe birthdays weren’t so bad. Maybe the point was to feel a little proud of yourself and who you were, and where you were in life. He was, maybe not entirely but certainly almost, a real functioning side in Thomas’ mind, not reduced to intrusive thoughts from time to time when the barriers wore thin. 

Also he had a nail-bat now. And a whole bunch of new ideas from the art he’d seen to try out too... Where to start?

Well, apparently he had a whole year to figure that out. 

-

Masterlist | Buymeacoffee

[deviant3lover]

Can you do more headcanons for the shitty teen squads? I really love them. Plus I love all of your works :)

Aha! Funny you should ask, because I started working on this one just before I saw your ask!

Without further ado…

Even more trio headcanons!!

Genos, being a regular internet user, is well aware of the various memes circulating the media. However, he doesn’t have much of a close affinity to them, and only really uses them to mock someone online. Saitama on the other hand is oblivious, and Genos occasionally has to explain what a meme means for him to get it.

Never invite Genos to roast you. He will ruin your life. He already does it unintentionally with Saitama with his baldness, but when he does it on purpose? 

Random Bitch: He’s a pretty good lay, though his nose was pretty ugly. He kept going on and on about how much he wanted to marry me- gross shit, I know, but if he keeps giving me the check, I’ll suck up to him and say I love him too.

Genos: *murderous, unimpressed glare* You expect me to believe that there’s someone who’d willingly sleep with you, and not immediately kill themselves afterwards?

Random Bitch:

Metal Bat has one hell of a sweet tooth. He’s got his heart set on chocolate, but he’s also fond of the classics: the aforementioned, vanilla, and cookies and cream when it comes to ice cream. He loves the cola flavoured lollipops, and if he had to get himself a boba tea, he’d go for the Taro flavour: it’s just too good to him. He didn’t care too much for strawberry, but Zenko’s love for it encouraged him to develop a liking towards it. His go-to snacks are Oreos, home made chocolate fudge, and pocky; with the occasional cola lollipop if he’s got to focus on something and can’t afford to get distracted by constantly chowing down on sweets.

His metabolism isn’t as nearly insane (practically inhuman) as Garou’s or Genos’s, but it’s more than fast enough to make him avoid gaining weight from them. Paired with his delinquent persona, (and buying sweets incognito from cutesy sweet shops the same way that King buys video games) most people are often surprised when he has a strong liking for them.

Since Genos uses intense firepower, he also has a hydraulic cooling system to cool him down. The only times where he steams up is during or after a fight when he’s used his fuel intensively, and the steam primarily comes from his arms, the jets from behind his shoulders, and occasionally his mouth if the arms use far more firepower than usual. For the times where he’s really, really worked up emotionally (mortified, furious, etc) bits of steam can be seen coming from his mouth, but it’s never extreme enough to get his whole body to follow suit. Apart from battle, his body is usually safe to touch due to how efficient his cooling system is: that includes the times when he’s angry, but not getting ready to fight. (I will die on this hill for this headcanon. >:0!!)

When it comes to people he respects, Genos deliberately lies or hides anything relating to him that might trouble them. That also includes his true thoughts on what you’re enamored with, his private disgust at your gross habits, and redirecting attention away from potentially offensive topics towards something that might catch your interest. Any mortifying but true things said about yourself has him in silence, unsure of how to navigate the topic without offending you.

Contrary to popular belief, Genos is actually pretty levelheaded when people insult Saitama online. He’s seen everything that people have to say about Saitama, and knows that fighting every fight- both small and huge- on the Internet isn’t worth it, since there’s always going to be horrible things said about him by people he’s unlikely to ever meet in person. Besides, no one would listen to some random user saying that Caped Baldy isn’t all that bad, and he’d rather not use his popularity as Demon Cyborg to attract unwanted attention to the both of them by praising Caped Baldy when they have better things to do. (*cough* shopping for discounts with his precious sensei *cough*) He deletes his history when he’s done browsing and subtly tries to steer Saitama away from sites that he knows are saying horrible stuff about him when his Sensei gets interested. It’s when people insult Saitama directly (e.g. In person, a fan letter that Saitama reads) that makes him angry.

Genos hates the thought of being inexperienced or having his attempts end in a failure, but he loathes it if Saitama bears witness to it. He’s far more passionate and attentive whenever his teacher is involved in any way to what he’s doing, in the hopes that perhaps, seeing his disciple taking his role seriously and not missing anything/using his time to slack off, Saitama would take him more seriously in return and tell him the true secret to his strength. (Which he already gave, poor Genos.)

When he’s caught off guard and rendered to near death by his opponents, it wasn’t because he underestimated them: it was because Genos overestimated his own strength, thinking that it was enough to kill them. He treats any and every threat seriously, no matter how weak or strong looking they are. From the meek, gross looking toilet monster, to the horrifying titanic threat that is Elder Centipede, Genos will engage his opponent with the intent of eliminating the threat by any means. He knows that weak looking monsters can house unimaginable strength as a surprise attack, and strong looking monsters could have unexpected powers that could catch him off guard. He’d never laugh or smile during a fight, knowing that his opponent is inherently dangerous and likely to endanger countless lives if they’re not eliminated.

(This is dark, but: he’s also the only member in the trio that’s killed people before, if not the most willing if push comes to shove.)

While he doesn’t care too much about his popularity, he does know that his fan clubs can be a powerful resource and will occasionally (and subtly) cater to them. His main way of doing so is buying himself clothes to make him look handsome (which he does more frequently thanks to the money he gets as an S-class,) and to keep up the ‘mysterious, alluring Cyborg Prince’ persona by refusing interviews and close relations with his fans: basically, by being himself. (Which he is more than willing to do.)

Genos, despite clearly stating his opinions on hero teams, (summary: he thinks they suck) doesn’t actually mind teaming up with other heroes on occasion. He knows that some heroes are capable of doing tasks that he wouldn’t do too well at, or would be able to do at all (especially if it’s ensuring the welfare of a group of people,) and will willingly team up if he thinks it’s for the best. It’s when those heroes make teams that they continuously depend on that he starts losing respect for them.

Inspired by this. One of his favorite clothing brands is Grin and Bears, particularly their men’s hoodies section. Alongside Amai Mask, Genos has occasionally been offered to be sponsored by several clothing brands due to how well he wears his designer clothing.

Genos has a good reason for liking oiled sardines. The food in particular was part of his old life where his family couldn’t afford much, and bought canned food more often than not. Vegetables and breads are nice and cheap, but are fairly bland. Oiled sardines is far more flavorful, and it was one of the first foods that he had tried that wasn’t the former two: unsurprisingly, he soon after became a fan of them.

Garou prefers hearty, nutrient rich foods. While he doesn’t have one favourite meal in particular, well rounded meals that involve vegetables and meats will have him wolfing it down. That includes steaks with nice veggies like potatoes and carrots and salads: it’s fairly balanced and there’s plenty to eat, hence his choice to go to a steak house to replenish his strength.

Don’t give Garou caffeine. He’s batshit insane and bloodthirsty when he’s high on it, and he’s far more irritable than he usually is when he crashes.

Genos doesn’t have fond memories of his birthday. His parents loved him, but would overwork themselves to get him a gift and it made him feel guilty every time, even though he insisted that they don’t go through the trouble. He never made plans to tell Saitama, but that information was included in his registration sheet to the H.A. and it was broadcasted on every talk show and website: needless to say, he caught wind of it. Like the festival, Saitama insists that they celebrate, and while Genos can’t completely shake off his bad experiences of it + fully engage and understand why Saitama is doing this, he’s slowly (somewhat reluctantly) getting more curious on what experiencing a good birthday is like. Saitama got him a cake on sale with a few coupons, and it looks kind of basic and a little corny with the decorations, but Genos still thanks Saitama for it and eats it all the same. Genos doesn’t have a particular favourite flavour in regards to sweets. At least, not yet. 

Badd remembers his birthdays somewhat bittersweetly, remembering his younger days: the times where he was surrounded by his family and watching YouTube videos/live sport matches with his friends, digging into fast foods like fish and chips and eating watermelon and ice cream on a hot summer’s day. Those days were gone now, but Zenko and the few friends that stood by his side even when he was swamped with work usually band together to give him a nice day off from fans, school, and the HA to celebrate his birthday. It’s a smaller circle than before, but he still cherishes those who he came to love as his found family and enjoys them, looking back on his past with a hint of nostalgia. His cake is always chocolate with Oreos. 

Garou… his birthdays were lonely, and he remembers them bitterly. There was one time where he invited everyone in his class to his party and no one showed up. 

This occasion actually happened prior to Tacchan, so while young!Garou was heartbroken, he tried to be optimistic and justified the incident to himself. It’s probably because he doesn’t know everyone that well… Maybe others are busy? Tests were coming up soon and everyone had to study: it’s okay! It makes sense why no one could come! That is, of course, until the obvious happened, and he lost faith in the people around him. Garou never told Bang when his birthday was, and Bang never pried, seeing the bitterness and determination in Garou’s heart to become stronger, and respecting his decision not to tell him. To this day, Garou treats his birthday like any other day, if he still remembers when it was.

Special Request by @rayadraws. How do Garou, Badd, Tareo, and Zenko react to Saitama?

I’ve actually loved her headcanon for Garou being wary and slightly afraid around Saitama at the start! So I believe that’s what he’ll initially be like around him. As time goes on, he’ll slowly relax and be subtly curious about him. Garou will crack jokes and teases from time to time, and while he does think it’s funny when Saitama sulks and complains about the trio teasing him for his baldness from time to time, he can’t stop the brief spike of fear that makes him freeze on instinct when Saitama is visibly angry. It’s an ambivalent situation for Garou: he’ll say no to Saitama asking if he can get something from the store, saying that ‘your tincan disciple can get it himself,’ but the serious, slightly furious face that Saitama puts on has him in silence for a few moments, before letting (forcing) out a seemingly lazy and nonchalant sigh and heading out the door to get it, his heart rate faster than it was a few moments ago.

His dreams can involve Saitama buying the most hideous pair of crocs and sporting a dopey face full of happiness at finding such a great discount, Dream!Garou groaning in disgust and walking away from him to do something else.

His nightmares can involve the feeling of rubber on his neck, slowly choking him as the bald man looks him straight in the eye above him, eyes startlingly dead and empty, daring him to make a move. His face could be replaced with that of a blank faced mannequin and hardly a difference can be seen. Nightmare!Garou remembers escaping somehow, jumping high enough to land himself in the cold, dark, suffocating expanse of space, and thinking to himself that he’d rather die up there rather than come back down to a desolate, barren earth: a lone man waiting to kill him as soon as he enters its atmosphere.

Garou’s relationship with Saitama, at first glance, is a seemingly normal one with the former lazing around his house and eating his food like an inconsiderate houseguest; but his feelings are anything but. As much as he pretends to not care much about Saitama, he’d listen carefully to what he has to say if he’s serious, and is a little more well behaved and observant around him. If Saitama imparts some of his rare pieces of advice, Garou would, on the outside, make a dull and uninterested note of it, but in reality he’d carefully consider his words in private.

- Badd knew that Saitama and Genos are a package deal, but when he found out that Saitama is Genos’s teacher, he’s incredulous. 

‘You serious, man? This guy? What’s he even gonna teach ya?’ 

Seeing Genos’s glower and hours of him chewing out Badd while lavishing praises on sensei’s strength, wisdom, and humility drove home the point to Badd, who was practically groaning in exasperation and telling him that he gets it, just to get Genos to stop berating him. Seeing Saitama’s power finally makes him understand. 

He’s somewhat more polite around him now, knowing that this is someone Genos respects, and Badd seeing Saitama living life and just generally being a good guy makes Badd’s opinion of him slowly grow. He sympathises with Saitama’s baldness, and out of the trio, is the least likely to tease him for it: deliberately or not. Badd himself shudders at the thought of losing his beloved pompadour, so he’s usually the one to say ‘quit it, you’re bumming him out’ to Genos whenever he’s unintentionally hurting Saitama’s feelings. Or a simple ‘holy shit Garou, stop’ when Garou makes a melodramatic re-enactment of Saitama’s offended reaction to Konbu’s supposed ‘benefits’ that Genos had informed him of. (Genos mentioned the event, and now they know all about it.)

Tareo, at first, doesn’t recognize him since he usually focuses on the cool heroes. When he finds out Saitama’s hero name, he’s taken aback. ‘You’re the Caped Baldy??’ He asks, with what sounded to be awe. 

Apart from internally cringing at the name, Saitama is briefly (and pleasantly surprised) and was about to say yes, before Tareo ran over to Garou and whispered to him (quite loudly) to ‘be careful ojisan! That bald guy over there is bad news!’

(Saitama’s blank face was screwed on for a good 10 seconds.)

He’s wary of Saitama, asking questions such as ‘didn’t you steal credit from other heroes when the sea monsters attacked?’ for some time. It’s through Garou’s, Badd’s, and Genos’s good opinion of the man that Tareo slowly begins to trust that Saitama is a good person. ‘If uncle and his friends thinks he’s nice, maybe he’s not so bad…’

Same with Garou, Tareo refers to him as ‘ojisan.’ ;)c

Zenko… man, the main reason why I took so long creating this post is because I wouldn’t know how Zenko would react until I thought about it carefully.

Like Tareo, she’s wary and slightly antagonistic towards him once she realises who he is, though less so than Tareo since it’s a little difficult to steal credit from an S-Class like him: Metal Bat is one of those heroes who can take down most monsters by himself, so I imagine Zenko wouldn’t be too worried about Caped Baldy taking the credit, but rather, she’d be wary of him trying something else to drag her brother through the mud.

She may not cuss him out, or even outwardly call him a Baldy, but she can be just as strong willed as her brother. Her initial relationship with Saitama can be seen mostly as this:

She does know that while Badd has a hot temper, can be forgetful, and stirs up trouble sometimes, she also knows that he harbours a serious hatred for cowards and self centred cheats that put themselves over others. The fact that Badd isn’t threatening Saitama to (fuck off) leave him and his sister alone reassures her to some extent into believing that maybe the rumors aren’t true: she’s had her share of getting angry on Badd’s behalf when the news or gossip columns twist the truth about her brother, especially in a bad light, so she carefully observes him to see if he’s the person that most people make him out to be.

Like her brother, her opinion of him slowly grows. She’s assertive, but not rude. She won’t call him a Baldy or old man like Tareo or Tatsumaki, no matter how angry she gets. There’s just some buttons you don’t press, and Zenko doesn’t want to become a mean spirited person.

She does get sort of grossed out by some of his clothing choices and will confront him on it sooner or later, saying that ‘Mr Saitama, your clothes look ugly’ and that maybe he should start looking for better ones.

(This is also the perfect opportunity to get her to drag him shopping with her: clothes for the both of them! And she’s definitely going to pick out some clothes for Saitama. 

I imagine that at the beginning, her fashion senses were still developing, and while she has her heart in the right place, it was a hit(?) or miss at the time. It gets way better later on, and she’s a little fashionista! Makeup and clothing are sure to look good on you when she picks them out herself~ But for this headcanon, you can decide if her fashion senses are more polished, or are still in development. Saitama’s fate of looking good/bad is up to you. ;3c)

Shared Traits

Badd doesn’t use any sort of weird quirk for how he texts. His source for punctuation is autocorrect and never exactly uses full stops unless he’s having a serious conversation: but even then, it’s fairly uncommon.

But he does use words and slangs like ‘dude’ and shortened words like ‘y’all.’

His swears are more relaxed in text, but only because you can’t hear his rough voice saying them; either way, he usually isn’t actually trying to intimidate you. When he gets angry, however, you can definitely feel the threats, the intimidation, and the tightly leashed anger dripping off of his words just as much as when he says them in person. If he’s angry, you’ll know it.

If he has time and is invested in a conversation, he likes using the occasional gif or emoticon but isn’t obnoxious with it.

Sometimes when he’s busy and doesn’t care, he uses all caps because he doesn’t want to deal with his words being autocorrected to something else. This is usually seen when he’s about to get into a fight.

When you ask him where he is when he’s out, he’s equally likely to text you the name of the place, or send you a photo of where he is.

When it’s a photo of Zenko, especially if it’s her with a prize or a trophy or a doll and she’s being cute, he spams hearts and praises of her.

Genos has perfect punctuation and grammar.

You know that annoying moment when the person you’re texting seemingly is texting a long ass message, only for it to come out as something like ‘ok’? Yeah… Genos never does that. (Unless he wants to say something important (and likely very personal) but is too reluctant to say it, and opts for something more mundane.)

He sends entire paragraphs if he’s explaining something or debriefing someone on some information.

His sentences are curt if he’s busy. It’ll come off as cold and rude to most people when they read them.

His recent emojis section has all the ones he can just text quickly if he’s far too busy to make sentences. Handy if he only has one arm or taking a breather from a monster fight.

Garou does not use autocorrect.

He’s obnoxious when he texts.

Memes, gifs, I wIlL bEaT tHe HeRo HuNtEr (With the spongebob meme template: specifically designed to mock heroes and wannabes who think they can take him down), spamming ‘answer me bitch’ to his poor recipient over and over until they reply, using so. Many. Emojis. For the sole purpose of annoying you.

If he’s texting Tareo, he’s pretty casual.

Hey lil turd I got some coupons for ice cream

I hate ice cream

Take them or im throwing them out

The no brainer: Genos and Garou are masters at eating competitions. Garou wolfs it all down quickly, whilst Genos is more dignified about how he eats, if the super spicy udon competition he had with Saitama is any indication. Badd can keep up, (mama didn’t raise no quitter!) but he’ll be struggling to get a grip on himself and stay awake.

If he wanted to, Genos can keep on eating for an extended period of time, limited only by the capacity of his fuel engines. (Which, by our stomach’s standards, is practically infinite for how much he can eat in so short a time and still keep going for hours.) His body can essentially turn the foods and drinks he ingests either into nutrients for the brain, or fuel for his firepower: continuously keeping his engines active will digest what he eats on a semi-fast level.

If the trio do end up becoming friends in canon, I imagine that they’d pick up on each other’s traits subconsciously. Badd’s and Genos’s smirks are faint facsimiles of Garou’s. Badd and Garou take after Genos’s protectiveness over items on sale at the supermarket, knowing how rare the occasion can be to get discounts for some in particular. Genos and Garou say ‘haah?’ in an intimidating manner, on instinct, to people they don’t like thanks to Badd. And of course, all three swear more often, usually under their breaths whenever something goes wrong, or to quietly insult someone without causing a scene.

It’s pretty obvious that Genos prefers slim fitting clothing. Anything too baggy will catch/snag and tear on his surroundings and hinder his ability to use his weapons. Badd prefers slightly loose clothing since he’s pretty hot tempered and he gets worked up for fights pretty easily, and clammy clothes aren’t exactly comfortable. Garou is a mix of both: when it comes to clothing, it’s either the clothes are light and form fitting enough to be second skin so he doesn’t have to worry about it snagging, or the clothes are just the right amount of loose to make him look decent, but not like he’s wearing painted on clothing. He’s alright with either option. Emphasis on form fitting. He canonically hates clothes that restrict his movements, and his usual shirt is made of normal, lightweight fabric, so Garou won’t be too keen on the idea of wearing a skin tight bodysuit made of latex or leather.

[kadavernagh]

Of Mirrors and Mimes || Regan & Kaden

TIMING: Current LOCATION: The Carnival PARTIES: @kadavernagh and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Kaden and Regan have a very soft, normal night at the carnival. 

They still never got that normal week both of them so badly wanted, but this, at least, came close. Regan’s pockets were heavy with raccoon carpals, and she’d led Kaden from seal carcass to rotting gull and back, pointing out how far along each of them were. He was an immensely good sport. Even though he’d suggested this, Regan could tell he still got slightly nauseated when it came to the fresher decomp. She kept her hand in his and watched their footprints sink into the intertidal sand as they walked along the shore. Even from a distance, it was easy to see the lights of the carnival cutting through the fog, and the music carried through it. “I didn’t even know White Crest had a carnival,” Regan said, lifting her chin toward the carnival grounds, “I was just here the other day, and none of this was set up. They did that quickly, huh?” Regan had never been particularly fond of the grime and noise and crowds found at fairs and carnivals, but something about it gave her goosebumps. Like there was a fresh whale carcass along the way. ��Wanna check it out? There might be bones. And cotton candy.”

Before when Kaden had walked along the beach, any dead thing he saw wash up was just bad luck or something gross. And admittedly, they were still gross, but it was hard not to smile whenever Regan lit up at each new carcass strewn along the shore. It probably shouldn’t feel normal to him how easily they found new ones every few feet, but it did. It’s just sort of what happened whenever they went on a walk. Dead things were better than things trying to kill them at least. And hell, they even found a washed up morsolor carcass. Which was interesting to watch Regan rationalize. “Me either,” he said, head tilting at the sight of the amusement rides and games not too far away. “Yeah I saw it earlier this morning. I thought the fog was just because they were setting up or something. Maybe not.” Though to be fair, it looked pretty put together when he was taking an assignment down here earlier. Odd. Almost as odd as bones and cotton candy being put in the same sentence. Then he looked at who said it. No, that made sense. “In this town?” he said, giving her hand a squeeze, “I’d expect nothing less.” The edge of the carnival was coated in a low layer of fog, almost like it was a haunted house, a fake one at least, but it didn’t smell like dry ice. There was a row of games to their left, food to the right, and plenty of rides straight ahead. The food smelled fried and horrible for you, but probably tasty enough. There was also an undernote of… rotten eggs? Maybe more like sulfur. Odd. “Uh, want to try the games? Or the rides?” He looked at the roller coaster and heard the screams coming from the guests on board. “Uh, yeah. Maybe we skip the rides.”

Regan knew this was a bad idea before they even got past the turnstile carnival gates. The fog seemed to hang above the grounds and the crowd pressed around them from all directions; it was suffocating, hugged her lungs and ribs and intercostals in that increasingly familiar way. Breathe. In. Out. Again. Regardless of whether it was a panic attack of a scream knocking at her insides, Deirdre’s breathing exercises had to be good for something. They had to be, right? She squeezed Kaden’s hand, and hoped for the best. Stayed quiet. Another deep breath. And... maybe this wasn’t so bad. Rows of booths set up full of games and fried food, cotton candy, rides that Regan avoided her whole life, cotton candy, something that died in a trash can, cotton candy. No, not so bad. Bit of a sulfur smell. Interesting. Maybe they could get their normal evening, after all. 

She followed Kaden’s eyes up to the rollercoaster and frowned. It was apparent what he was thinking. “Lucky for everyone here, I don’t like heights. Or dangerous rides. Or any rides.” She paused. “Um, unless you -- I mean, that’s okay, right? We could do something else! Like... well, I think we need cotton candy first, actually. Don’t tell my dentist.” Regan didn’t waste a second. She located the closest cotton candy stand, slammed $20 on the table, and watched as the sugar collected and spun itself in the machine. Strange how the guy working there was wearing a hat on the side of his face, awkwardly hanging from his cheek. Maybe he was hiding some kind of facial deformity. Regan collected the cotton candy and handed one to Kaden with a grin. “Okay. Now I can think. Games. Do you have a favorite? They’re clearly trying to hide carcasses around the carnival grounds. I can --” Feel them? Finishing that sentence was still weird, too unscientific. “Do you think there’s a prize if we find them all?”

It wasn’t hard for Kaden to miss the fact that Regan was spiraling. There were too many people to hear her small pricks of pulse, but the fact she was holding his hand like a lifeline while taking deep breaths sure clued him in. He was fine to stop and wait until she was ready. “We can leave if it’s too much.” But she seemed to recover and they kept walking. The whole set up was as tacky as he’d seen in movies and what not. Though he had a feeling that there were at least a few things off here and there. It was White Crest after all. 

“I’ve never been on any thrill rides or whatever,” Kaden said with a shrug. “Haven’t felt like I’ve missed out so far. I’m really fine keeping it that way. Cotton candy it is.” There wasn’t a lot of opportunity for theme parks or that sort of vacation when he was younger and when he grew up, it never appealed to him much. Plus, the ferris wheel looked a little almost lopsided somehow? Or just off. Couldn't say how or why but it was more than enough to make him reconsider. The guy working the booth was also a little off and lopsided. Demon? Mime? Hard to tell. He took the cotton candy a little cautiously but it at least seemed normal. Tasted alright, too, if not a little sickeningly sweet. He might save his to hand off to her when she finished.  “There are carcasses around the grounds?” Kaden blinked a moment. The fact that she could hunt them down without even trying didn’t surprise him. The fact that there were a number of them hiding in the carnival… should also not have surprised him. And better animal carcassess than dead bodies. Putain. There were probably dead bodies hidden in the carnival grounds, weren’t there? Great. 

“Uh, I think that one could be good,” Kaden said pointing at a shooting gallery. “I’ve got a feeling I have a decent shot at, uh, you know making a shot.” The woman running the booth almost seemed to float over when they walked up. And he could swear there was a faint almost chirping sound as they approached. 

“Never?” Regan raised a brow at him. Sure, she didn’t like thrill rides, but at least she’d been dragged onto a couple of roller coasters so she could figure that out. Kaden made it sound like he’d really never… “Have you never been to a carnival before? I -- it’s okay if you haven’t. They’re dirty and full of people. It’s a good way to get sick.” But, never? Even Reilly used to take her and Al to the one in Augusta every other year or so. Those goldfish prizes were the only pets they were ever allowed, and they never lived long. Somehow, Regan had always known when they were belly-up in the bowl, even before looking at it. She clasped Kaden’s hand and gave him an easy smile. “There’s no time like the present, right? Especially when tomorrow, we could be dead. It’s never too late until that point.” 

Regan pulled off a clump of cotton candy and popped it into her mouth, letting it melt on her tongue. It was probably one of the worst foods in existence, in terms of nutritional value and dental hygiene. But she couldn’t resist the temptation. “There sure are! Plenty of carcasses. There was something in a couple of the barrels we walked past. And next to the cotton candy stand. You really didn’t -- well, I guess it wasn’t a smell. I -- oh, look, a shooting game!” Regan pointed at the exact same stand Kaden had just mentioned. A serviceable but obvious distraction from what she couldn’t bring herself to say out loud. They made a beeline for the stand, and Regan felt her chest tighten with something as they pushed through the crowd, but it seemed to dissipate as they got closer to the shooting gallery. Replaced with a crawling sensation up and down her arms. “I bet you’ll be good at this one, you know.” As they edged closer and closer toward the front of the line, the tingling grew more instant and unpleasant. It was the woman running the stand, Regan realized. Like Lydia and Deirdre. She elbowed Kaden and motioned toward the woman, whose eyes seemed to follow them. “She’s -- there’s something. I don’t like her.” 

But that was all she had time to whisper before it was Kaden’s turn to shoot. They handed over their tickets to the woman’s clawed hands, and Regan frowned at the loud, cricket-like chirping coming from the game. It was coming from the game, right? “Ah, a sister!” The woman winked at her, her big, dark eyes sparkling. Regan’s frown deepened. “I am not your sister. We’re just here to -- he just wants to shoot balloons. That’s it. I have exchanged my money for tickets, which if I’m to understand correctly, are used to participate in these games.” 

“No,” Kaden said a little sheepishly. It wasn’t that weird to have never been to one of these, right? He couldn’t be alone in this. And he didn’t just mean other hunters. Right? “I mean this sort of thing didn’t really happen that much where I grew up and even if it did…” There was no way this was his parents’ idea of a good time. Or useful time. Or any time, really. “Guess you get to take me to my first.” Just sort of hoped she didn’t decide today was the day to have another death scream. He sort of hoped that tomorrow wasn’t when he was going to be dead.

A small smile spread on Kaden’s face. Something about her prattling off about the location of each carcass was oddly cute. More the enthusiasm she had than the fact that there were dead animals all around them. That part he could do to ignore; no matter how much she made decomposition sound appealing it was still pretty fucking gross. 

“Hmm? Something you don’t like?” Kaden’s brow furrowed, trying to pin down what was off about the woman running the booth. Did she hear the faint chirps? He would have guessed it wasn’t easily heard by anyone without hunter hearing but maybe he was wrong. It was always hard for him to say. And he had a feeling his hearing was verging on normal at this point. The clawed hands and the “sister” comment only deepened the crease in his forehead. Strange. Really strange. There was no way she was-- Putain de merde. “Ten rounds, you said? And what am I hitting?” he confirmed, taking a look over the admittedly shitty little shotgun. “Yes, dear. Ten shots. Hit the white balloons and avoid the black and you get a prize! Is that a deal?” the woman said. “Uh sure it’s--” Putain. He almost fucked up. “That sure sounds like how these work.” He took a deep breath and lined up his shot. The first one missed any balloons at all. What the fuck did they do to this rifle? It felt like it swung wide to the left. Easy enough to correct. Not like he hadn’t shot with damn near broken weapons in the heat of the moment before. A quick readjustment and he easily hit six white balloons. Any missed shot avoided the black ones, too. Kaden grinned as he handed back the weapon. It was a piece of crap, but it got the job done. He wondered who’d fucked with it. “So, what’s my prize?” 

Regan managed to pry her attention away from the dark-haired, winking woman so she could watch Kaden fiddle with the rifle. His hands fit on it naturally -- like it was second nature -- and his fingers moved like he expected it to have a real weight to it, complete with all of the features he was probably used to. A clear, working scope, perhaps. Regan had never asked to see what he hunted with; being around firearms always made her stomach go all eely. She’d seen the end result of their use too frequently to ever be comfortable using or even holding one. “A little different than what you’re used to?” Regan slid up behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. It helped the pinpricks across her skin die down, just slightly. “I think you know I don’t believe in luck, so I’m going to say that, objectively, based on your skill level and coordination, I have no doubt you’ll shoot the balloons.” 

Kaden seemed a little frustrated with the rifle, but he held onto his confidence. Regan didn’t care so much about the balloons; her attention was on Kaden. And despite his annoyance at the cheap, fake rifle, there was clear happiness shining through. His smile even reached the scar on his cheek. It was nice. He was so rarely like this, especially lately. Celeste’s death had left a deep wound, one that was still open.

The woman at the stand watched them with curiosity, those cricket noises growing louder. It was over in less than 30 seconds -- six loud pops and deflated white balloons hitting the ground. Regan jumped and hugged him, and Kaden immediately asked about a prize. So he did know how this worked. The woman’s lips curled into an overdone smile, and she pressed a finger against them like she was thinking. “I know just the thing.” She announced, ducking behind the stand. When she emerged again, she had a -- oh, crap. That was a mime. And did it have -- “Are those wings? On a mime!? This is the wrong prize! He needs something else!” Regan yelped, a couple of balloons popping. The woman laughed, and the sound had a chirping-like quality to it. She turned to Kaden. “You just seem like the type, is all. Don’t you think? I’m sure you just love a nice pair of wings and some stripes.” She turned her attention from Kaden to Regan. “Sweetie, this is cute and all, but only one of you pings on my faedar. Guys like him? Best left to their mimes and cars and guns. Find someone who’ll stick around a few centuries.” Regan’s teeth grinded and she pulled Kaden’s hand into her own. She wasn’t sure what made her angrier -- Kaden being burdened with a stuffed winged mime, or the rude and invasive comments the woman felt entitled to make. Even if they were nonsensical. “Let me guess. You believe in fairies and you have growths and you’re -- but you’re wrong, and rude, and this game is stupid, and you might want to consider getting that asymmetrical mole checked out, and we’re leaving.” She tugged on Kaden’s hand, ignoring the look of sheer offense on the woman’s face. “Come on, let’s find an activity that doesn’t involve mimes or --” Whatever she is. “Maybe we can win you a dog somewhere.”

Cold comfort had come to mean something entirely different over the last few months with Regan. Her arm around his waist brought a small chill, even through the layers between them. Whether it was real or imagined, Kaden didn’t know. It was still nice, steadying almost. He couldn't say if having her there helped or not but the six balloons were gone all the same. “Different. But I think I got it handled,” he said to her as she pulled him into a hug. Her excitement was honestly better than whatever prize he was going to be handed, he was damn sure of that, but he still kind of hoped it might be something nice to give her. Some stupid thing to take home as a keepsake. It was so cliche but he still found himself falling into the dumb traps of the whole thing. Oddly normal.

That’s right, for a second he forgot he was in White Crest. Kaden blinked and stared a moment at the monstrosity being handed to him by the fae running the place. “A fucking mime?!” He turned it over and saw the wings. “Putain de merde!” If Regan wasn’t right by him, he’d honestly believe the amount of fury in his voice popped the fucking balloons. The mimes were running the carnival with the fae. Of course they were. That had to be it. It all made sense. And they knew he was on to them. He glared daggers at the women and considered chucking the plush at her head. Hell, maybe there was still a round in the gun he could pellet her with. The comment about finding someone who could stick around sure made it sound appealing. Fuck, he shouldn’t let it get to him. This was stupid. And so was that comment. He threw the gun and plush back on the counter and took Regan’s hand in his. “Keep it. Tell Isabelle to fuck off. And give to whatever sucker comes here next. Or to someone who has centuries to appreciate it properly,” he said to the fae behind the counter, rolling his eyes before turning back to Regan. “Somehow I doubt the prizes are going to get any better here. But I smelled fried dough and powdered sugar. I’m sure there’s strauben around here somewhere if you want.”

A bit aways from the games and whatnot was a building. Kaden could tell there was more food and shit on the other side or around it but, looking around, the only way to the rest of the carnival seemed through. “House of mirrors,” he said, reading the sign above them aloud. Kaden shrugged and looked at Regan. “Could be fun. Might as well, right? Shouldn’t be anything scary or risky in there.” He fucking hoped. Otherwise that was going to be a whole lot of bad luck and broken mirrors. Maybe if the fae were running this shit, they made it banshee proof mirrors. Right? 

Regan could feel the shooting gallery woman’s glare between her scapulae as she and Kaden tore themselves away from the stand. He seemed eager to put distance between himself and that winged mime, and Regan breathed a deep sigh as the biting bugs eased up on her arms, the sensation finally subsiding once they lost sight of the woman. She swore she heard the woman chirp something about being an insult to their kind as they turned away, but she wasn’t going to let that get to her. Not when it didn’t make sense. And not when she and Kaden were here to have fun, and this was his first carnival experience… ever. “I never say no to fried dough.” Regan said, giving him a light poke on the arm and a smile. He seemed a little glum, now. Was it what that woman had said? “She has no clue what she’s talking about, you know. None. Even though she called me ‘sister,’ I’ve never seen her before in my life. She had no right to comment on -- well, anything. And we’ll find you a better prize than a mime. You don’t seem like the type.” Was there even a mime type? Probably. That explained the strip club.

She paused outside of the house of mirrors, giving Kaden an uneasy glance. Abandoned her cotton candy. He seemed to want to go in, but Regan found herself freezing right at the entrance. Couldn’t they go around? Except, as she scoped out the area, it seemed like everything was barricaded -- the only way around was through. How did they get here to begin with? The crowd also seemed to be picking up, which was its own danger; she felt that pressure balling back up inside her, an angry knot that wanted to climb her throat. “Yeah, it… could be fun. I don’t see a way around it, do you?” She swallowed thickly. Even as a kid, she never had any particular fondness for houses of mirrors, but now, each mirror was a weapon in its own right, ready to shatter if she so much as breathed too sharply. There would certainly be fewer people inside, and… in, hold it, out. She took a deep breath through her mouth, exhaling through her nose. Deirdre’s breathing exercises. They would be fine. This was exactly the type of situation they were for, right? She took his hand in hers, letting his warmth and confidence sink in through her skin. “You remember the hand signal, right?” It was still a potentially confusing one. A hand on her neck. “I’m so tired of this thing controlling what I can and can’t do -- it’ll be fine. This will be fine. We’ll be fine. I’m -- I’ll keep my voice down.” An uncertain smile at Kaden. She was pretty sure she got one right back.

Verbal reassurance didn’t stop the cold sweat at her temples as they stepped inside, and Regan came face to face with… herself. On every surface, every wall. So many shining reflective mirrors that were primed to break. There were Kadens stretched across each mirror, too, and Regan quickly recognized the fear in both of their eyes. All hundred-something of them. She trailed behind Kaden, letting him take the lead in navigating through the maze. And it was a maze, seemingly. There was no clear path through like she’d hoped. She whispered and sidled closer to him. “Do you think Abel would think this place is full of other dogs who want to play him?”

“Seems like the only way to go for now. But I’ll climb a fence if you want,” he said with a small rib to her side. Kaden could feel the nervous energy radiating from Regan as she looked at the entrance even if he couldn’t feel much of a change in her pulse. He almost suggested that they turned around for the second time today. They could go home and hang out at either of their apartments, bring the carcasses back to her place, maybe have some cheese, they could swap work stories, relax, pretend things were normal. He could feel her hand in his warming the more her resolve seemed to and he gave it a squeeze. 

“It’ll be fine. We’ll walk through and nothing will happen,” Kaden told her before they walked in, pausing to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. He wasn’t entirely sure he believed it himself but worrying about it wasn’t exactly going to help. Plus, there were worse places to be than in a hall full of mirrors with a banshee without control over her voice. Like trapped in a room with a hungry vampire. That could easily be waiting in there when the mirrors broke and he started to bl-- Right. Inside. Time to walk inside. 

Once inside the hallway, there was nothing but reflections everywhere. A whole lot of weirdly shaped Kadens and Regans. They kept wandering through and there were plenty of the standard silly mirrors, wobbly ones, ones that stretched and squashed forms, and plenty of false leads and a whole lot of mumbled curses from him as he tried to pick their way out. “Signs would be too hard wouldn’t it?” One of the mirrors somehow made him look ten foot tall and her look about five inches. “How’d they do that?” he asked mostly to himself as his head tilted, looking around to see any edges. There were none to be seen, that was the same mirror. “Huh. But yeah, I’m sure Abel would try to play with all the other ‘dogs’ here. Not sure how long he’d be here trying to find out how to get to them. Could be eternity.” As they turned the corner the flashes in the mirror got stranger. There were flashes of colors that were different from the ones he’d gotten familiar with, colors that didn’t match their outfits at all. He swore he saw a shorter version of himself, younger maybe, and a glimpse of a wooden stake and a flash of dust in the corner of his eye, but when he looked it was gone. Strange. “Uh, I think we should try to get out of this place, I’m getting, uh dizzy.” When he turned, there was no mistaking that there was something wrong with the last mirror. He saw Regan but he couldn’t see himself. He waved his hand but there was nothing there. Just a gravestone. That… “Does that say what I think it says?” That was his name, right? His stomach dropped. What the fuck was this place?

Were houses of mirrors always this disorienting? She couldn’t recall the ones from her childhood making her chest tighten like this, but maybe it was the thought of the entire attraction breaking over their heads. Regan’s stomach lurched as they navigated their way through. There were stretched and skewed Regans and Kadens covering every surface, big and small, fat and thin, polka dotted and mime striped. Wait, mime striped? “Poutine.” Regan said aloud, frowning as a crack snaked its way down one of the mirrors, a fissure in a sea of black and white stripes. “You see that, right? I am not wearing --” Another crack in a mirror on the ceiling. She jumped to the side in case any shards were about to fall, but thankfully, the mirror held up. 

“Give me… give me a minute.” Regan paused, closed her eyes. Another mirror cracked at her words. Maybe two. Just slightly. She felt Kaden’s hand tight in hers. In, hold, out. She focused on the cool air as it left her nostrils, the way the rest of the air in this maze was still and dead. No more breaking. When she thought the knot in her chest loosened up a little, she opened her eyes and gave Kaden a nod. “It’s, um, pretty disorienting, isn’t it? Do you need to stop? Sit down?” He didn’t look his usual shade of autopsy suite green, but Regan couldn’t blame him if he was using dizziness as a cover story for being uneasy. She didn’t like it in here either. She returned the light kiss on his cheek and drew one more slow breath. “Let’s get out of here. I think it’s -- we can try that way.” Regan pointed to a break in the mirrors, where there looked to be an entrance.

They squeezed through the passageway, but some of the reflections in the new area of mirrors weren’t reflections at all. Regan stopped dead in front of one of the mirrors, staring at what had taken shape in front of Kaden. She was looking at herself. Unchanged but for her black clothes and the red puffiness of her eyes. But Kaden wasn’t there. Not alive. There was only a headstone where Kaden should have been standing. Kaden Langley. Gone but never forgotten. Beloved by family and friends. The year of death was obscured by a blur, but that hardly mattered. Regan felt her throat close up and she pulled Kaden closer, could feel his arm go limp and his hand grow clammy. “Y-yes.” Was all she could say for a second, the word striking through the mirror. Her grip tightened on his arm. “I see it. That’s not -- that isn’t -- it isn’t funny. Why would they --” She couldn’t pull her eyes away from the marble headstone, the boldly etched words. She could practically smell the freshly-turned cemetery soil, hear the crows cawing in the distance. How did they even accomplish this? It clearly wasn’t a reflection. Perhaps some sick augmented reality joke. Her muscles felt as tight as barbed wire as she touched the surface of the mirror, seeing her own fingers meet her reflection’s at the middle. Kaden couldn’t do the same. “Kaden. We need to get out of here. I don’t --” The panic bubbled up. The mirror shattered under her fingertips, and she pulled them back, away from the sharp edges and scene she couldn’t bear to look at any longer. “It’s not real. It isn’t real. It’s -- you’re here. You’re alive and you’re here. You’re staying alive and here.” Each syllable seemed to cause the cracks to radiate across every surface, but as she focused on her breathing, they stopped like snipped fuses. She gave Kaden an urgent tug toward the light that seemed to pour in from the corner. They needed to get out of here.

Kaden had never been the type of person to want to watch his own funeral. For one, he wasn’t particularly sure he was going to get one of those. And two he wasn’t really sure if he did if anyone would show up. “Family,” he huffed out a laugh, reading the epitaph on the tombstone. What fucking family? They were fucking dead and pretty sure not a one of them would like who he was now if they were alive. Plus, of course it was all generic bullshit on his tombstone. Doubtless no one actually wrote it, just checked some boxes. At least someone sprung for a fucking headstone. He supposed he should feel lucky. Too many hunters were buried in the woods or left to burn with the monster’s corpse after a hunt gone wrong. Seeing Regan looking just the same next to the grave hit fucking worse than he figured. Of course she’d out live him, hell he knew that before he knew she was a banshee. But now he couldn’t say if that glimpse into the future was a year from now or two hundred. Great, now the picture was getting blurry, too. Fuck this magic crap. He felt a drip on his face. Oh. Not-- Putain. 

Before Kaden could do much to wipe it away, Regan was touching the mirror and he watched as it shattered. Well that shocked him out of his fucking spiral. Every word she said spiked his adrenaline. It also pricked his ears. Merde, this could be bad. He put his finger to his lips hoping she’d take the hint. Her breathing helped slow it, but they couldn’t fucking stay here. It was one thing if they got cut by the shattering mirrors. It’d hurt like hell and he’d rather avoid that, but they knew the risks. Some random kid in here? Not good. Kaden took her hand and hoped it would quell some of her panic as much as his while he led them to what looked like the entrance. Door, there was a door! Fucking hell, he’d never been so happy to see a door. He pushed through and had to adjust his eyesight a moment to the light, but they made it through. Both of them. And nothing had--

As soon as the door closed, there was a loud shattering. Kaden’s eyes drifted back but he pulled them forward and decided not to turn back. Not worth it. “Uh, wasn’t so bad, right?” he said, looking at her. If he said it out loud, it could be true, yeah? “Oh hey, that looks like the strau-- What the fuck is a funnel cake? It’s strauben. You do call it that, right?” 

Cool air hitting her face had never felt so good. Regan closed her eyes as the two of them pulled themselves out of the exit, her hand finally releasing its vice grip on Kaden’s. Images of his tombstone still burned her retinas, and she couldn’t blink them away. Of course, it hadn’t meant anything, not truly. But it was horrible to see nonetheless, and jarring that she’d looked exactly the same as she had now. That meant his death was -- but it didn’t mean anything. Of course. Not that it made it tolerable to Kaden. He was staring at his own headstone and, real or not, that was… she swallowed back what she suspected was grief. She couldn’t ignore the wet film of tears over Kaden’s eyes. He probably wouldn’t admit it, but it was clear that what he’d seen in there -- it probably burrowed at his worry about dying young. Regan gently padded a tear off his cheek with her thumb. Cupped his chin. “That’s not going to happen. It’s not. We -- well, we made it out. You’re alive. You’re going to stay alive for a long time. And only a couple of mirrors broke! Those breathing exercises really --” The door from the house of mirrors closed behind them, and a sound like a car crash made her jump, as she looked to Kaden in horror. Was that -- it sounded like a lot of glass breaking. A lot of mirrors breaking. She’d apparently put enough cracks in them that just one final push made them all shatter into millions of pieces.

Regan sprang three feet away from the destroyed house of mirrors and yanked Kaden by the arm. “Yeah! Wow! Look over there! There’s funnel cake -- or, uh, strauben? Is that what you call it? Well, there’s that! Let’s get some! And let’s never, ever, ever look at a mirror again. I mean, mirrors? What mirrors? There sure aren’t any here. Never w--” The word caught in her throat like a lie. Could they run away quickly enough that no one would catch that they were the last people to emerge from the attraction? They were sure going to try. Regan could barely keep up as the two of them darted over to the food, putting as much distance between themselves and the heap of broken mirrors and glass as possible. “Let’s never speak of that again. I mean, what happened to the -- not what we saw. I mean, unless you don’t want to talk about that. Hey! Look! Funnel strauben!” The exact same stand Kaden pointed out several minutes ago. But her eyes latched onto something else, too. And she knew what she needed to do. Gave Kaden a light nudge. “Why don’t you go get us some strauben cake? I’m going to go… take care of something.” She didn’t wait for him to respond before she ran off, making a beeline for the ring toss stand.

Kaden was ready to forget whatever it was they saw in that stupid magic mirror and never talk about it ever again. Maybe only have nightmares about it once or twice and that was it. But of course she wanted to discuss it. And she didn’t even realize just how ambiguous the timeline was. She didn’t realize that twenty years from now, she’d look the same as she did today. It was impossible to say when that prediction was. If it was even real or just their fears come to life, reflected back at them. “If you say so,” he said with a small half smile before leaning in to give her a kiss on the forehead. Right as the door slammed shut. Then there was nothing but running. Which he was sure didn’t make them look at all more suspicious. 

“Yeah, strauben. It’s German. I mean, it’s fried dough in spirals and stuff. Powdered sugar on top?” It sounded like they were talking about the same thing. It looked and smelled similar enough. “Funnel cake? Really? That sounds silly.” Kaden shrugged and walked up to the stand anyway. “It’s just strauben, there’s no ca-- Hmm?” Before he could ask where she was headed, she was gone. He gave a small shake of his head and walked up to order their food. “One--” Kaden stood blinking, stopped in his tracks for the second time today. The man at the counter had black and white face paint. And wasn’t blinking. The beret and striped shirt brought a small twitch to his left eye. He had half a mind to turn and leave. This was fine. It would be fine. “One strau-- funnel cake. And a lemonade.” It seemed like the thing to do, right. The mime stood there. Unblinking. All striped and berets. “Uh one strauben?” Still nothing. Kaden reached over and grabbed the fucking striped shirt by the collar. “I will sooner stab you before I fucking mime anything to you. Get me the fucking funnel cake. And two lemonades.” He slammed the twenty dollar bill on the counter and let go of the mime who smiled with… too many teeth? But he got to work. 

While Kaden was buying some funnel cake and likely arguing with someone about calling it strauben, Regan figured she had enough time to do what she needed to do. She pushed her tickets into the ring toss man’s hands and listened carefully. 5 rings, and 3 of them had to make it onto the stand in order for her to win a prize. That wasn’t too bad. And she knew she had the precision to do it. How hard could it be? Regan tossed the first ring, and it tapped the tip of the stand but didn’t make it on. Crap. That could only happen once more. Fortunately, the next two swiveled right onto it. She missed the fourth try. That left the fifth and final ring. She looked down at it, and nearly said something encouraging to it before realizing the insanity inherent in talking to a carnival game object. Okay. You can do this, Kavanagh. Win that prize. You’ve operated on people. How much harder could this really be? She narrowed her eyes and stood at the tips of her toes as she watched the last ring nearly teeter off the stand… before setting right onto it. 

Regan jumped and whooped, just as she saw Kaden coming over with funnel cake in hand. The ring toss man bellowed a congratulations. “Nice work! D’you know what prize you want?” Regan nodded eagerly and pointed to the stuffed animal that brought her over here to begin with. “That one, please. The rabbit.” She said, motioning to the brown rabbit, with little x’s for eyes and a felt tongue sticking out of its little lagomorph mouth. The man pulled the rabbit down from the wall with a hook and stuck it in a paper bag, handing it to her. “A good choice!” His eyes fell on Kaden, and a wide grin appeared on his face. “Ah, I see, ayuh. Don’t forget, it also comes with a shirt.” He fished for something below the stand and popped back up with a black and white striped shirt, fitted for the dead rabbit plush, handing it right over to Kaden. Regan waved her palms in front of her in an emphatic no gesture, but ring toss man didn’t seem to get the point. 

Kaden watched closely as the mime prepared the food. He practically leaned over the counter to make sure there was actual fucking oil and actual fucking dough and nothing being mimed or some crap. As far as he could see, it was all real. Except for the lemons. Those seemed to be mimed and not squeezed. Right. Concerning. But whatever. Kaden narrowed his eyes and shot him a glance as he took the food. He was right in time to see Regan take a shot at the ring toss. He held back a bit, didn’t want to ruin her concentration. Watching her line up her last shot, he caught a smile creeping onto his face. There was no denying how damn competitive she was. As much as these sorts of things were rigged, he had a feeling she’d nail it. 

“Yes!” Kaden shouted when the ring looped around the stand. A little lemonade splashed and he had to rebalance a bit. Alright, it was dumb, but he was excited. He held out the food for her to take some while they waited for the guy to get her prize. His head tilted as he got a closer look at the rabbit she pointed out. Was it-- Yeah it was a dead rabbit plush. He was pretty sure there was a plush severed head somewhere hiding up there, too. And was that a pager? Putain de merde. These gifts here were oddly specific. “Good job,” he said, smiling as the bag was handed to her. Even in a paper bag, huh? Weird. But alright. “Wait, what?” he said to the guy. “But I didn’t-- She played not me. I don’t ne--” His words stopped at the fucking sight of stripes. If his hands weren’t full, Kaden would have rubbed his face. Instead he continued to stand there blinking and let out a deep sigh. Well he no longer wondered how this carnival appeared out of nowhere. He knew. There was only one answer. This place was run by mimes.

[spidercakes]

Saw Homecoming again and I’m getting bratty!Peter feels. Any thoughts on a spoiled entitled Peter? Possibly with an over accomodating Tony?

God help me, I have no idea why I like bratty entitled Peter so much, its not very in character, but fuck it might as well have fun lol. So, thoughts that take Peter’s character into account but still make him a bratty little shit (consider this a non-powered AU. Actually this turned into a whole Thing but its kind of cute so I figure it suits the ask enough. Though I do love me some terribly bratty Peter for no reason too):

- Tony can’t even be mad, he did this to himself because Peter never used to ask for anything and then he decided to spoil him rotten and rotten he got. Not, Tony supposes, that he minds entirely when Peter throws a fit so long as his suits stay out of the equation. Some of those were limited runs of that particular style and he likes them, thank Peter and his scissors very much.

- Peter honestly isn’t a spoilt asshole, but Tony has like a thing for it. Like Pavlov’s dog, he finds it weirdly attractive and Peter is down for some hot sex so he throws a fit over something stupid and Tony eats it up every. Damn. Time.

- He, MJ, and Ned start to make a game out of it because seriously, the guy has to have his limits so they give Peter ridiculous scenarios to act out and every time he ends up with what he wants. Even when he lit one of Tony’s favorite suits on fire. He was pissed but a week later Peter found the shoes he wanted on their bed and MJ tells him he needs to find a boyfriend with more brain cells and less dollars.

- He doesn't need or even want several sports cars but MJ made up some absurd scenario and Peter, surprise, surprise, got what he wanted. Which is how he ends up taking up drag racing with MJ because he already knows how to deal with cars, might as well make them go real fast.

- Oddly enough they discover that that was Tony’s limit- not Peter ruining his favorite shit, which is an asshole move, not him throwing tantrums that would make a particularly bratty three year old proud and in public no less, not refusing to speak to Tony for a week until he takes time off so they can go on vacation, drag racing.

- For the first time Peter actually means it when he throws a fit because hello, he’s not a god damn child he can do whatever he wants. Tony doesn’t take it well either and Peter doesn’t know what the hell to do with Tony when he stands his ground aside from figure out what he tampered with on the cars. Its not hard, if he wanted to stop Peter from racing he probably should have dated someone dumber. Or car stupid like Ned.

- MJ is curious to see when Tony will give in because she’s sure he will. A week comes and goes and Tony still hasn’t given in and he’s taking a page from Peter’s playbook and not speaking to him. And he’s sleeping in the guest room, its horrible and Peter feels bad for all the times he’s done that to Tony now because it sucks.

- After week two Peter decides to eat his pride and goes to Tony, suggesting a compromise. He doesn’t seem to take it well at first but Peter tells him to come along to a race and watch him, he’s actually pretty good and MJ is mad about it. Tony reluctantly agrees but its the first time he’s said anything to him in two weeks so Peter is ecstatic.

- To Tony’s surprise Peter is’t just good, he’s exceptionally talented at it not that he gives in right away despite Peter’s pestering. He doesn’t like the idea of Peter doing something so stupid and dangerous and Peter mostly just looks at him like he’s stupid and asks why he has to put up with Tony doing dumb reckless shit all the time. It at least makes Tony stop talking.

- MJ and Ned are grossed out by Peter’s overly detailed description of their make up sex but MJ’s at least happy to have her favorite best friend back in the racing business because he turns a good profit in bets. Just because Peter dated rich doesn’t mean the rest of them are so lucky and Peter wins enough to be worth her making a bet on his win. Ned gets in on the action too because why not?

- To make up for not talking to Peter for so long he gets Peter another car and Peter has to confess he’s not really an entitled little asshole, its just that its a good way to get Tony going and he kind of likes the attention even if he doesn’t need another car. Tony tells him to give a car or two to MJ then and MJ about shits when Peter gives her the red one she likes.

- Tony figures if Peter liked the attention so much he might as well preemptively avoid any tantrums by getting him fancy presents often enough that he can’t complain. Which is how Peter finds himself with a shoe collection in a room that’s bigger than the apartment he, May, and Ben lived in for most of his life but he will die before he gets rid of a single pair.

- Peter has no idea what to do with being more spoilt than he was before but he’s also not going to complain when Tony decided they should have a standing date night because before he sort of got stuck spending time with Tony in his busy schedule and he's fine with a least one night a week dedicated to him specifically. And Tony decided to drag him off on business trips too, which is nice when he’s not stuck in meetings and when he is he drags either MJ or Ned along too.

- MJ and Ned didn’t anticipate being part of Tony’s spoiling but neither of them are about to complain, they grew up poor and they’re in Italy on someone else’s dime so they’re gunna eat. Peter, meanwhile, enjoys spoiling his friends with all the things he knows he never got to enjoy before Tony either. And no one tells him that Peter races internationally either, they figure they’ll avoid him throwing another fit about it by keeping it hushed up.

[the-final-sif]

Do you think it will ever be made "canon" that Bakugou was abused? Like an official plotline? When do you think Uraraka is gonna have an actual storyline? Do you have any ships other than todobakudeku (and the ships in that ship)? What's your opinion on Aizawa choking Monoma w/his scarf? Do you think Best Jeanist's behavior in the anime is any better than Mitsuki's? Opinions on female adult heroes hitting on teenage boys in the series? Or the ua girls being over sexualized?

I’m honestly not sure if it will every be seriously addressed in canon as abuse.

The initial scene with Mitsuki is played at least somewhat lightly/jokingly. All-Might does note that the family is dysfunctional, but it’s not treated like it’s a super serious issue that the teachers need to do something about.

However, we’ve had it happen a few times now, particularly with Katsuki, where something is played off as a joke only for canon to revisit it with a more serious tone. Almost as if get the reader to assume something is okay and then double back and be like ‘holy shit no this wasn’t.’.

I think the best example of this was the sports festival incident. When we see Katsuki on the podium, it’s played off super lightly. Oh haha, Katsuki’s so angry he had to be chained and muzzled to the podium. Then he’s upset about it and he brushes his teeth angrily. The readers aren’t meant to think something’s really wrong there.

Only, then we hit the kidnapping plotline and we go back to that incident with fresh eyes, and holy shit, they chained and muzzled a teenager to a podium in front of thousands of people. Now all of the sudden it’s not a joke anymore, Tomura has a photo of Katsuki chained to that podium which is really clearly shown to be why he thinks Katsuki will join the league of villains. We also see that the incident has warped the public’s perception of Katsuki to the point that a reporter, directly after this 16 year old child has been kidnapped by an extreme dangerous group of villains, feels comfortable asking his teachers if they think Katsuki will become a villain. Going so far as to call the again, child who is currently kidnapped, mentally unstable. At that point Aizawa apologizes and states what happened at the Sports Festival was his/the school’s fault. It’s taken very seriously even though it was originally played as a joke.

Since that initial scene with Mitsuki, we have gotten two hints about Katsuki’s home life. During Katsuki vs Izuku 2 he mirrors her words very closely when blaming himself for the kidnapping.

To quote from the official viz translation:

“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you hadn’t been so weak and gotten caught in the first place”

(Note the use of the word we, meaning she’s blaming him for more than just the kidnapping itself, she’s including the media disaster UA is facing. As if, it’s somehow his fault the school is being criticized for having a student kidnapped)

Then during Katsuki vs Izuku 2:

“If only I’d been stronger.. If I hadn’t been kidnapped by those stupid villains.. everything woulda been fine!”

Katsuki, a character who didn’t cry while he was actually kidnapped by villains or fuck even during/after the slime villain bullshit, has been driven to tears having emotional breakdown blaming himself for All-Might’s retirement. Using words that sound just like what we heard his mother say.

The second hint is the line from Katsuki in the remedial courses where he wants to fight the kids and doesn’t see an issue with it saying he was raised with violence. We’ve also seen his teacher acknowledging that they fucked up and didn’t watch his mental health after the kidnapping. We still haven’t exactly seen them doing shit to help him, but canon has acknowledged Katsuki has been failed by the adults in his life for the second time.

So, I’m not sure if canon is going to try and address this more seriously. It’s entirely possible given what we’ve seen so far. I do think it’s noteworthy that we’ve seen almost nothing about Katsuki’s personal life despite him being such a major character. We don’t see his dorm room, we don’t really see his bedroom, we don’t see him interacting with his family outside a grand total of 2 scenes (only actually seeing them in 1), and we’re missing a ton of info about him compared to the other main characters. I wouldn’t put it past the author to be purposefully hiding a lot of this so he can pull a more serious storyline regarding it later. Given the current push in Japan against child abuse (they finally made it illegal to hit kids at all, it’s a pretty serious issue right now since there was a string of kids who died from abuse), I would say it’d be quite clever to purposefully play those scenes like jokes, subtly drop hints to the readers that something’s up, and then after awhile hit the readers with a “actually, no, this had serious implications and impact for this character”. In a way it mirrors how a lot of emotional/more “mild” forms of child abuse can go unnoticed irl because people try to laugh it off. It’s also possible it will never get addressed. Who knows.

God I hope like hell we get more development for the female characters soon. On some level the bar is already so low I’m just happy Uraraka purposefully put her crush to the side to focus on being a hero, and that she’s working on improving her Murder Capacity. I’m definitely bothered by the amount of over-sexualization for basically all of the female characters. Actually Foraged By Nitroglycerin and Sparks will have a little after-fic one-shot addressing all my issues with that.

Actually, that kinda leads me into my stance on Midnight. Her hitting on teenage boys is gross af, but I think it’s symptomatic of cultural issues behind her character more than anything else. She’s the only female teacher at the school, so I understand why some people basically take her character and rewrite her to be, you know, not a pedophile. I think it’s really important that we acknowledge that what we see her doing (hitting on teenage boys) is not okay, but I’m not going to give people shit for liking her. Particularly the fanon version of her. 

I’m going to assume you meant Shinsou and not Monoma? Honestly, I wasn’t really bothered by that scene. For one, it’s directly called out out by the background characters of the scene (”That’s corporeal punishment, alert the PTA”). Shinsou’s got the artificial vocal cords on under the scarf guarding his neck, and he’s not spluttering or shaken afterwards. He doesn’t even seem upset by it or out of breath, he just looked surprised to me. I think it’s intended as Aizawa cutting him off when he’s putting himself down instead of Aizawa choking him. This is more of what I’d consider ‘slapstick anime jokes’ than anything else. It’s also important to remember, despite fanon, Aizawa is a mentor figure who taught Shinsou how to fight, and not Shinsou’s parent (yet). Different relationship, different boundaries, different general behavior to expect.

I actually haven’t seen the anime, but going off what I’ve seen from that scene, no I don’t think Jeanist is as bad as Mitsuki. For one, context is important. One of the reasons I take such issue with the scene with Mitsuki is Katsuki was just kidnapped. By villains. And held for 2 days. He’s in a very fragile place mentally, and he’s been through a highly traumatic experience. Beyond that, Katsuki wasn’t doing anything before Mitsuki hit him and started in on her lecture, he was just,,, sitting there,,, looking upset. He cannot/doesn’t fight back, and his childhood hero and teacher are in the room. Compared to his scene with Jeanist, Katsuki makes an aggressive first move before Jeanist restrains him. Jeanist is also a mentor figure, while Mitsuki is his parent (at least in canon). Which, again, are very different things.

Oh! And finally, ships!

Honest to god, I’m on board with almost any ship. I don’t tend to talk about a lot of the female characters because we just don’t have much (if any) development for them and I’m more attached to Katsuki rn, but Jirou is amazing.

I like Momojirou, Mina/Tsuyu, BakuKiri (honestly almost any ship w/Katsuki I’m down with), Miruyumi (I don’t care that they haven’t met, I’m gay and I want them to be gay too), Shigadabihawks, Miritama, Kamishin, Fumikage / Katsuki for Goth Solidarity, Camie / Toga as a more AU style one, tbh Toga / Uraraka and/or Tsuyu too, Vaguely Itsuka/Mei because I love unstoppable chaotic lesbian / unmoveable force lesbian. In even more AU of a setting I think Inko / Mitsuki is cute af and despite my distaste for her in canon, I adore AUs where Mitsuki is a bamf lesbian mom.

Platonic ships I really like are Katsuki and Ochaco where the two of them have a friendship built of their general desire to piss off the other. Ochaco doesn’t take any of Katsuki’s shit and actively goes out of her way to fuck with him in Chaotic Gremlin Fashion, and Katsuki returns the favor. I also really like platonic Bakukiri with them just being Good Damn Bros.  Platonic bakudeku with Adoptive Sibling Energy is Good Shit too. Jirou and Denki both being gay messes together is a Mood. Same for Jirou and Mina. Bakusquad in general.

Honestly though, I’m down for most relationships tbh.

[ventivante]

Part One summary | can be found here! genre | jennifer’s body!au, college!au, horror, supernatural, humor, angst, demon!wooyoung; wooyoung x reader, mingi x reader warnings | language, discussions of death, some blatant blasphemy, and very bad/cliche humor word count | 2.1k

DISCLAIMER: this fic contains lots of dark subject matter and i will put any specific trigger warnings before each part. i do not condone the unhealthy relationships portrayed in this fic, nor do i believe the characters’ real life counterparts to display these behaviors.

happy halloween y’all!

“God, just shoot me in the face,” Wooyoung whined aloud, leaning his head back to emphasize just how unhappy he was with studying.

“Stop, you’re gonna get us kicked out again,” you whispered across the table at him.

“Good! I hate this place anyway, it reeks of decaying dreams and B.O.,” Wooyoung announced dramatically, his voice still at full volume.

Against your better judgement, you’d invited Wooyoung to study with you at the library. It was against your better judgement for two reasons: first, because Wooyoung didn’t function well in environments where you needed to be quiet and you were both already on the librarian’s shit list, and second, because you felt like you owed it to him after ignoring him all weekend.

Another unspoken reason you weren’t ready to admit was that Wooyoung had been acting . . . weird over the past few days. Even weirder than he normally was. For starters, he had dyed his hair—gone were the black locks you had grown up alongside, now replaced by sandy blond, perfectly gelled movie-star hair. His response to being asked why he’d changed it?

I got bored, he had told you, as if it were the simplest question in the world.

Of course, you knew that abrupt hairstyle changes usually took place in the midst of an emotional crisis, but you hadn’t pressed the issue further. If Wooyoung wanted to talk about things that were bothering him, he eventually would on his own terms—you had learned that the hard way.

Not only had he changed his hair, but he had started dressing really different as well. Normally Wooyoung opted for comfortable sweaters and hoodies, with some standard t-shirt-and-jeans ensembles thrown in the mix. Now he dressed as if his daily commute was on a Harley Davidson motorcycle. You didn’t know where his sudden sense of style had come from, but you guessed it may have had something to do with the aftermath of the party yet again.

Despite all of the red flags, you wanted to find out just what had caused the sudden changes, and you felt partially guilty that you had been the source of it. You figured if you spent more time with him, he would open up to you and finally forgive you.

“Come on, let’s get out of here and grab some sushi, I’m staaarved,” Wooyoung pouted as he rested his head on a propped fist, eyes wide and lower lip protruding in a wholly pathetic display.

Even though he had been acting strange, Wooyoung had been in very high spirits. He was constantly joking with you and laughing over the smallest things, not common indicators that Wooyoung was undergoing mental duress. His current behavior also wasn’t a surprise, as he’d always had a distaste for studying.

“Let me just finish these last couple sections,” you sighed as you flipped the page of your anatomy book.

“I can give you the short version: Adam shoves his dick into Eve’s vagina, boink boink boink, and that’s the miracle of life,” Wooyoung explained crudely, even throwing in a few vulgar gestures for added emphasis. “There, I even included curriculum for the Bible thumpers.”

You grimaced at his tactless anatomy lesson and shut your book without another word. “That’s gross and blasphemous.”

Wooyoung only shrugged before folding his hands on the table’s surface and fixing a now serious look on you. “Don’t tell me you’re still squeamish about sex, Y/N.”

“I’ve never been squeamish, I just don’t need to shout about it from the rooftops.” You hoped that the blush you were undoubtedly now sporting didn’t undermine your words.

“Oh, boo, so boring,” Wooyoung rolled his eyes and slumped back onto the table, his chin resting on his forearms.

“Hey guys.”

You jumped as someone slid into the seat next to you, scaring the daylights out of you. Your pen was raised, ready to attack your would-be assailant before you realized it was only Yunho—one of your and Wooyoung’s few mutual friends—who had made a sudden appearance.

“Can you not just drop in like that?” you asked, lowering the pen now that you were no longer in danger.

“I announced myself! Maybe you just need to have more awareness for your surroundings!” Yunho whispered shrilly.

“Shh!” A fourth person joined in, this time from the librarian desk, where the older woman was giving the three of you the evil eye as she let out a particularly firm shush. You ducked your head bashfully and gave her an apologetic wave, hoping to convey that you would keep your friends in check.

“Have you guys heard?” Yunho started again, now lowering his voice to a more library-friendly volume. “They found a dead kid in the woods out by Hongjoong’s frat house, where that huge party was this weekend.”

You straightened at the news, feeling your heart skip a beat. “What?”

“Well, not a kid kid, it was a student here,” Yunho continued. “But they found him just yesterday. They think it was some kind of animal attack—dude was ripped to shreds from what I heard.”

“Jesus,” you breathed, your stomach beginning to churn at the thought. “What kind of animal?”

“I dunno, a wolf or even a bear maybe?”

“Dumbass, there’s no bears around here,” Wooyoung chimed in, looking positively bored with the shift in conversation.

Yunho cast an offended glare on the newly-dyed blond. “Hey, it’s possible! Climate change, bitch! Animals can come crawling here from all over now, the polar bears are migrating.”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “So you think this kid got mauled by a polar bear?”

“I’m just saying it’s possible.”

“Shhhhh!”

This time a student at the next table over had expressed their own irritation at the rising volume yet again. You sent them an apologetic nod of the head before turning back to your friends and lowering your voice once more. “Do we know for sure it’s an animal? Is there going to be like, an investigation or something?”

The taller boy shrugged and leaned a little closer to you to match your tone. “Cops were all over the place earlier but it’s calmed down a bit now. I think it’s officially been listed as an animal. Or, what they think it is at least. But I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that it’s some psycho killer, stalking young, vulnerable co-eds.” He grinned widely at the end of his statement, waggling his eyebrows in an exaggerated motion before poking you in the side.

You swatted his hand away and released a noise of discontent. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Yunho, why don’t you make like a tree and leave before I chop you down at the knees?” Wooyoung posed, leaning forward on the table with an acidic smile stretching over his features.

“Come on, I’m just kidding,” Yunho laughed. “I’m sure that they’ll find whatever animal it was and put it down.”

You wished you could be as lighthearted about the situation as the other two, but the news brought on a sense of dread that was seeping into your stomach like sour milk. Had it really been a random animal attack? And if so, what kind of animal could rip a person to shreds, as Yunho had not-so-delicately put it? Or worse, what if there was a murderer wandering around campus waiting for their next victim to come along? Were you actually safe?

“There’s probably nothing to worry about at this point,” Yunho added, as if he were reading your mind.

“Good to know. On that note, I think it’s time for us to leave.” Wooyoung rose from his seat and gave you a pointed look.

This time, you actually agreed with him and began to gather your things, shoving them haphazardly into your bag. Wooyoung was at your side in the next second helping you before focusing his attention back onto Yunho.

“Try not to get eaten by a polar bear on your way home, Yunho,” Wooyoung winked.

“Bite me,” the taller boy quipped, but you and Wooyoung were already on your way to the door.

Darkness was quickly approaching as you walked beside Wooyoung back to your apartment. It made you weary, especially after hearing Yunho’s news about the attack. Your best friend, however, seemed completely unfazed by the potential danger as he slung an arm over your shoulders and hummed quietly.

“You aren’t worried?” you asked him.

“Worried? About what Yunho said?” he scoffed then and only pulled you closer to him. “Definitely not. And you shouldn’t be either. You’ve got me to protect you!”

You let out an amused bark of laughter. “You? The same person who makes me kill the spiders in your room?”

“That was when we were ten!” Wooyoung whined, giving you yet another pout. “I’m a man now, in case you hadn’t noticed!”

“Please spare me the toxic masculinity spiel,” you retorted, albeit with another giggle.

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you continued down the sidewalk. You allowed yourself to enjoy the moment, because it felt like it had been years since you were both this close—not just physically, but also on an emotional level. You took a second to glance up at your longtime best friend and study him.

Wooyoung’s skin glowed in the waning rays of sunlight, blemish free and smooth as fine porcelain. His nose was a little large, something he had always been concerned with, but you saw absolutely nothing wrong with it. Even his dark eyes shone brightly as the day faded into dusk. And if you weren’t mistaken, you could have sworn he had been hitting the gym too—the arm wrapped around you was firm and not as wiry as you remembered it being during childhood.

You hadn’t admitted it to him, but he had grown up to be very handsome, and sometimes you found yourself wondering how things would be if the two of you had been more than just friends. It had always been a passing thought before, but now as he held you against his side and you looked up at him, the thought didn’t seem . . . particularly bad.

Just as you were rounding the last corner before your building came into view, you decided to ask Wooyoung what you had been meaning to for the past few days.

“Wooyoung, you’re not mad at me, are you? About the party, I mean.”

There was a short pause and you felt Wooyoung’s hand squeeze your arm gently, just as your phone chirped from your pocket. Automatically, you reached for it, digging it out and bringing the device up to check the notification.

It was a text message from an unfamiliar number, which made you squint in confusion. A split second later, realization dawned on you and you let out a small gasp.

It had to be Mingi, the boy you had met at the party.

You smiled at the thought then quickly remembered you had been waiting on Wooyoung to answer your question. You glanced back up at him and saw that he was eyeing your phone with a furrowed brow. His arm now felt tense and heavy around your shoulders but his voice was still light when he spoke again.

“Your friend from the party?”

“Oh, yeah, I think so. I’ll text him later—”

Wooyoung’s arm dropped from your shoulders and he took a step away from you, creating distance that might as well have been a brick wall between you two. He stared down at his feet for a few moments then lifted his head and smiled weakly. You noticed that the smile failed to reach his eyes.

“Listen, Y/N—forget about what happened at the party. I told you, it wasn’t a big deal and I’m over it. I’ll catch you later, okay?”

Wooyoung started to turn away, shoving his hands into his pockets as he went. You felt your small window of opportunity slipping away, so you reached out for him, latching onto his jacket.

“Wait! Don’t you wanna come up and watch a movie or something?” you asked, eyes wide with an unspoken plea.

Wooyoung peeked over his shoulder at you while his lips curled into a lopsided smirk. “Maybe some other time. I’ve got dinner plans.”

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #160

After a long week of repeating quizzes, forging apology letters, and unexpected-but-not-really bonding, Tomoko and Yoshida are finally free to go. As the barrier separating Tomoko’s suspension and the outside world with her friends is finally lifted, we get to see just how both parties have grown from this experience. Even if Tomoko’s apology was more or less half-assed, something may have been gained after all...

Chapter 160: Because I’m Not Popular, It’s The Last Day Of Suspension

Whaddup, Tomoki? Your eye bags aren’t so heavy today. Is that artistic oversight, or has Tomoko’s suspension taken a load off your stress level?

Oh yeah, I had forgotten that Tomoki heads to school earlier than Tomoko does. He used to get really anal about avoiding his sister in the mornings, but it looks like he’s not so objectionable about it anymore... 

Is that how it works? I've never worked at a huge company with a sports club other than a fantasy football league, so I don’t have much of a reference. But if Tomoko is correct, then my assumption is that the sports clubs are used to indirectly promote “company loyalty” and get more work mileage out of their employees.  

It’s casual conversations like this that really show just much Tomoko and Tomoki’s sibling relationship has improved since way back then. Sure, they still take potshots at each other, but it’s more in the realm of affectionate brother-sister banter now. The days where they openly held the other with actual disdain have finally come to an end.

Not that they want to look particularly close when out in public, of course. 

It’s only the second page, and we’re already getting hit with the heartwarming feels? Damn, this is gonna be a tearjerker chapter, ain’t it?

As this chapter soon verifies, the last day of suspension is nothing short of formalities and kissing ass. 

Wow, it took the whole week to get full marks on those worksheets? Maybe I’m missing something here, but I’m not sure they’re really learning anything from those suspension packets if they’re just regurgitating answers.

Also, Dead-Eyes Teacher can actually smile? How about that.

Tomoko’s apathy towards her progress here leaves me wondering: Just how much do the teachers really think suspension is inspiring students to do better? My guess has always been that suspension is like a prison in principle in that it’s more about reforming them than punishment. It may work for some, though I’m inclined to believe that most of them just want to pay their dues and leave with very little actual reflection on their actions, like Yoshida’s perpetually blank face seems to suggest.   

Well, I suppose the lack of classroom distractions had to account for something, right? Though having her friends around could be seen as both a hindrance and a benefit towards her study habits.

There’snospecialmeaningforwhyMakosaidYoshida’snamefirst. 

There’snospecialmeaningforwhyMakosaidYoshida’snamefirst.

There’snospecialmeaningforwhyMakosaidYoshida’snamefirst.

There’snospecialmeaningforwhyMakosaidYoshida’snamefirst.

...darn it.

So on the Indifference Scale, she just slightly dips in favor of wanting to see them.

Oh Yuri, I know that being noncommittal is kind of your thing, but no one’s going to give you a hard time for wanting to see your friends, especially Mako. 

Do I sense a flash mob in the workings here? That’d be pretty lit.

So Katou actually does have some awareness that the idiosyncrasies of her behavior are, in fact, idiosyncrasies. I guess you don’t get to be as beloved as Katou unless you had some common sense. 

Even though we all already knew the answer, there’s something oddly relieving to hear it from Katou herself. I think it’s largely out of a sense of empathy for Fuuka, since she’s been strung along for so long, but also because it comes across as “humbling” to hear the on-top-of-the-pedestal Katou accept the truth.

That’s what happens when your expectations don’t match up with reality. You build up this impression for so long that you can’t help but feel jaded when it turns out to not be true, even if you didn’t actually want it to happen.

I call it the Ucchi Effect. 

Nooooo, Katou, you had it in the bag! You should have quit while you’re ahead!

But yeah. Katou didn’t really need to bring this up, so a part of me wants to think that she’s using the whole hair-touching moment as a consolation when the whole groping thing didn’t work out. 

Still, it’s kind of unnerving that she finds the idea of Tomoko, or anyone really wanting to touch her...there to be so humorous...

What goes around comes around. Stay strong, Fuuka. 

We get to see Yoshida’s mom?!?!

Officially the best chapter ever. 

I love how this whole time, the teachers have been pestering Yoshida to look more presentable. I’m not sure if Yoshida is being actively defiant or if she’s just clueless about these sorts of things, but I do appreciate that she complies without much fuss.

Getting those parent-teacher conference vibes right about now. The only difference is that those are some swanky couches.

I wonder if Nico Tanigawa just drew up a bunch of random old guys for this “Presidents Throughout The Years” or if they were based on real people. 

So...Yoshida’s mom. She definitely has the air of a high-powered career woman, what with the suit and all. It’s pretty ironic considering she has a delinquent like Yoshida for a daughter, but at the same time, maybe it isn’t. It’s been hinted before that Yoshida may come from a well-off family, so having a mom making a generous salary seems pretty plausible. Makes you wonder if Yoshida’s delinquent-ness is some form of rebellion...

I totally expected that Tomoko and Yoshida would have to do something like this, but still. FUUUUUUUUU–

In the immortal words of Tomoko Kuroki...

“How do I bullshit my way out of this one?”

Well, for what it’s worth, the principal looks like a nice, reasonable guy. But as Tomoko has proven time and again, you can never be too careful. Though I have to say, I’m surprised Tomoko would even consider screwing around instead of going right for the safe option. Having an active social life has really given her enough courage to take some risks, even if they end up with bad results more often than not.

So she thinks the principal is one of those perpetually smiling assassins you see in isekai series? That’s really chuuni and I love it.

So in the end, she takes the safe route. Fair enough, but her response is so stock and wooden that you just know it's gonna come to bite her in the ass.

In the midst of all the bullshitting, some of Tomoko’s honestly ends up rising to the surface. It’s the kind of unintended sincerity that really warms my heart. This whole arc has been a great opportunity for the adults in Tomoko’s life to recognize her unexpected popularity, so I’m sure Principal-san will offer some words of wisdom that Tomoko will take to heart for the rest for her li–

Nah, just kidding. Principal’s a troll.

I find it hilarious that Reina’s been put through the suspension wringer so many times, that it stopped being anything worth remembering. For all we know, suspension was just another Tuesday for her.

Of all the recurring characters, who would’ve thought the dog would be one of them? 

...

But seriously, whose dog is this?

Delinquent girls laughing at dirty jokes is ironically wholesome to me.

“Do you’re best!” you say? All the evidence points to Ucchi finally going forward with her apology to Tomoko. Of course, Lady Luck will have it be that something will get in her way. And the way this is playing out, we’re going to have the single greater encounter this series’ has ever given us.

The fact that Ucchi can accuse this dog of being gross just because it kind of resembles Tomoko is so stupidly unrealistic and stupidly hilarious at the same time. Girl needs to start majoring in gross-ology. 

Poor Emoji Girl just had a Freudian Slip that sums up her Tomoko-philia. 

Probably the most reasonable “Gross!” Ucchi has said in a long time.

I wasn’t sure if Tomopup’s appearance was just artistic license, but it turns out the dog looks just as freaky to us as it does in-universe.

Huh. So unlike Yuri, Mako gets both the first name and -chan suffix? Maybe the girl’s just that naturally personable.

I feel like calling out Katou for asserting dominance would be a drastically unsupported claim that would be built upon unreasonable shipping desires.

But that piercing gaze of hers makes that notion hard to assert.

How the tables have turned, eh? I wouldn’t say Mako was being that hypocritical; more like she gained a bit of rebellion during the week while Yuri learned to restrain herself a little bit. A push and pull you could say. 

Is this foreshadowing for integrating Yoshida’s delinquent buddies into the Class 3-5 group? Please, please please make it so!

Anna really does like to look on the bright side of things, huh? It’s a great perspective to have around, especially when you have a Reina in your group, who tends to see the world around her as a half-empty glass.  

I’ve been made aware that Mrs. Yoshida was actually apologizing for her daughter’s actions and not her own, which suggests that blaming others whenever you can is in the family blood. Even so, Yoshida’s mom is unexpectedly adorable (though given who her daughter is, it’s not that surprising). Perhaps she and Mrs. Kuroki ought to start a support group for Mothers With Troublesome Daughters. 

Speaking of which, can we get Yuri’s mom in the picture, too, Nico? You know, for reasons...

Ditching her own mom when the lady had to take time out of her schedule to represent her daughter’s suspended ass? The Yoshida household sounds like a fun ride (I say “ride” because prolonged exposure to Yoshida’s family sounds dangerous). 

Not to toot my own horn, but I always knew that if a time ever came where Tomoko had to leave her mother behind to see her explicitly named friends, her mom would encourage her without question. 

When it comes to apologies, acknowledgments, and the like, Tomoko is always late to the party. But even if it's at the very last second, she’ll get around to it. Tomoko’s relationship with her mom is probably the least we’ve seen since their familial love has always been more implicit. So seeing Tomoko outright admit that she really does appreciate her mother is incredibly heartwarming. 

Hey, hey, hey! That looks like a callback to the afterparty Tomoko told her mom she was going to at the end of her second year. Looks like it really left a positive impression on TomoMom.  

Not gonna mince words–seeing Tomoko’s mom look so proud of her daughter brings a tear to my eyes. 

She’s never really admitted it before (as far as we know), but Tomoko’s mom really was concerned about her daughter’s lack of friends at the start of high school. Some have accused her of being a bad mother for not taking a more active role in Tomoko’s social growth, but I was never in that camp. Sure, TomoMom’s not perfect, and she could’ve shown more of an interest, but I think it did Tomoko some good that her mother never judged her. Expressing her concern without badgering her daughter is peak mothering right there.

To reiterate what every fan thought at this shot: This looks like a series finale.

It rare for a chapter to end so unabashedly happy like this, but that rarity makes it all the more sweeter when it does happen. It dials it up to eleven when you realize what this means for the series going forward. One of the uncertainties Watamote has addressed is the possibility that everyone will drift apart once high school ends. Well, this single moment gives us a little test on that theory. Even if Tomoko were to disappear for a week, her friends will still be there for her. And even if it doesn’t work out as well once they go out into the “real world”, it looks like, as her mom says, Tomoko will be fine now.

And thus the curtain falls on the Suspension Arc. We’ve still got a few hurdles to overcome, but for now, things look sunny in the world of Watamote.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 199: One Whole Bird

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa’s winning class A team reflected on what they could have done better. Tsuyu and Kirishima were unexpected bummers due to their recent internships still weighing heavily on their minds. Shinsou was also frustrated with his performance, despite everyone telling him how good he did. Aizawa and Vlad told All Might and Midnight that today’s exercise is also a test for Shinsou to see if he should be admitted into the hero course. It’s not clear whether or not Shinsou is aware of this, but we’re all rooting for him! The second round of battles got underway, with Team KendouKuroMangaToadette facing off against MomoYamaTokoKure. Class B’s Kuroiro was revealed to have a quirk that allows him to move freely within anything black. This applies even to quirks like Dark Shadow, and once the match began, he basically dove into DS and rode him back to Team A’s location. Now he’s getting ready to throw down with Tokoyami, who has dramatically thrown his cape aside and is preparing to unleash the new technique he developed during his internship with Hawks.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is back! In flashback form. But he’s back, you guys! So apparently Tokoyami first interned with him after the sports festival, only to learn that Hawks mainly selected him to get the good gossip on the whole USJ attack. This frustrated Toko enough that he redoubled his training efforts, and when he went back to intern at Hawks’s agency for real after getting his provisional license, he impressed the #2 hero by being able to keep up with him. So Hawks took him on a cute lil nighttime flight above the city while A Whole New World from Aladdin played, and then they landed on a tower somewhere and Hawks was all, “hey dude you should learn to fly for reals,” and then the flashback ended. Back in the present, Kuroiro sneaks up behind Aoyama and grabs him and hauls ass. Tokoyami then reveals his new technique: Flying For Reals. He retrieves Aoyama, who fires his laser to break up the shadows around them, making it impossible for Kuro to hide. Things are looking good for Team A, but then a mushroom suddenly sprouts from Momo’s nose, reminding everyone that there are still three other Team B members to take care of, and things are only just getting started.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 222, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

ooh, and we’re opening with what I assume is an internship flashback!

well yeah, Mighty Wings is the type of quirk that allows you to do that. when you can individually control hundreds of little godmode wings that are strong enough to even carry people to safety, you don’t really need much in the way of backup

ah, so it’s confirmed this is Tokoyami’s narration

apparently the U.A. sports festival earlier in the year was the first time Hawks had ever taken place in the whole drafting process

hold up, so did Toko intern with him for both the jr. internship and the real internship? like, he did the weeklong thing following the sports festival, and then went back and interned there for real later? or was it only the first and not the latter?

lol Hawks is flying off to go save some other hapless soul. some out of control drunk dude at a bar in Cantina

I assume Cantina is a specifically a reference to the very famous Mos Eisley Cantina in Star Wars, even though it’s also a common enough word in its own right

lmao his sidekicks are all “yeah so Hawks is just generally better than us in every conceivable way and we just have to live with it”

these guys crack me up

so during his workplace experience Tokoyami just spent the whole time chasing after Hawks with these guys and handling the cleanup with them. so naturally it wasn’t long before he started having doubts about the whole thing

I was literally just about to say “because you’re both birds” and then Hawks was like “yeah, duh”

Tokoyami is asking if he’s joking, because Tokoyami doesn’t have a sense of humor so he probably genuinely needs to know

Hawks says he’s 20% serious. holy shit. that honest to god is what he said lmao

he says he wanted to talk to someone from class 1-A about the League of Villains, and he figured if he had to do so then he should pick someone he thought could keep up with him and who showed promise. and since Tokoyami finished in the top three he went with him

and of course we know from chapter 186 that he had selected Todoroki as well, but Endeavor got him instead

interesting that both he and Bakugou picked the highest ranking agencies on their list and ended up being disappointed. it seems like the people who had the most fulfilling internships were the ones who went with agencies that hadn’t necessarily made huge names for themselves, but were perhaps a little better at this whole teaching thing than some of the big shots

ah, and then Hawks did agree to take him on for a For Reals Internship later on, though

that means Tokoyami actually reached out to him despite his lackluster previous experience. makes me wonder if Bakugou would actually decide to go back to Jeanist’s agency once he gets his provisional and once the kids are allowed to do internships again

(ETA: so I’m honestly not sure if we’re even going to get back to internships again, at least not for a while, but one theory I’ve seen floating around is that Bakugou will intern with Miruko instead of Jeanist, and I gotta say, I really like the idea of that. for so many reasons. but basically it makes a lot of sense; Jeanist is still laid up, Miruko is a top 5 hero, and her personality aligns with Bakugou’s a whole lot more than Jeanist’s did. all this plus Fuck Yeah Girl Power, so hell yeah I’m all for it.)

-- YOOOOOOOOOOO

he can -- you can fly, dude? since when lmao what the fuck

(ETA: what is he doing here, though?? I thought he was flying but then a couple pages later Hawks is like “you should learn how to fly” and then a few pages after that everyone is shocked by his new “bitch I can fly now” special move. so it seems like that’s something he came up with after this scene. is he just jumping with style here or what)

Hawks likey! kid’s got some potential

now it’s later that night and Hawks is telling Tokoyami he did good

OH MY GOD

THIS IS THE CUTEST AND BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. YOU GUYS. I CAN’T IT’S TOO FUCKING PRECIOUS OH SWEET JESUS

(ETA: so as you can see I was enchanted by this scene even before I learned about its significance as a beloved fandom meme. anyways so we all agree that this internship was destiny.)

TOKOYAMI IS SO OVERWHELMED. HIS POETIC SOUL IS SOARING LIKE AN EAGLE

OH MY GOD!!

HOW DOES HE REMEMBER THE CORRECT PERCENTAGE BREAKDOWN FROM A JOKE CONVERSATION THEY HAD LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO

SERIOUS QUESTION WHY IS HAWKS THE BEST CHARACTER IN BNHA. ANSWER ME. SOMEONE

AND LOOK AT TOKO’S FACE OMG

AHHHH

it’s so personal, though. like I honestly feel like he’s baring a bit of his soul to this kid, and for someone with a personality like Hawks’s that is huge

he says he’s not especially interested in nurturing the next generation, “but...”

well that’s fine dude. you’re practically still a kid yourself and you’ve got more than enough on your plate

but the fact that he does have so much on his plate makes me wonder what’s going through his head right now. because the whole workplace experience was before he started his undercover mission, but this scene is taking place afterward. and he always plays it cool, but that shit is dangerous, like one-wrong-move-and-you’re-dead-or-worse types of danger. and that’s not even taking into account the bad-for-your-soul parts that come with having to turn a blind eye to certain things for the sake of maintaining your cover for the greater good

so basically, despite what he says, he may just be feeling a bit more sentimental or brooding or whatever than usual, and maybe that’s what brought this on. he never particularly wanted to be a mentor, but hey, might as well give it a shot. life is short

so Toko’s asking what he meant when he said Tokoyami was wasting his potential

and Hawks says that while Tokoyami is doing a lot to cover his weak points, he shouldn’t neglect improving his strong points

one moment please while we process these Hawks feels ladies and gents

aaaaaaand done

my boy just wants to be free. okay. that’s fine. I’m fine it’s all good

nothing to see here, just some solid mentor advice pulling some double duty as a deeper look into Hawks’s psyche at the same time. just Horikoshi things

and we’re back in the present!

that was a much lengthier flashback than I anticipated, and thoroughly enjoyable! very nice!

so Kuro is blending back into the shadows and for some reason everyone is surprised

what else would he do. I mean. if it ain’t broke

so now he’s mocking them from somewhere in the piping, bragging about how they can’t tell where he is

oh shit!

so he’s planning on targeting one of the others? tbh that probably would have worked just as well even without the red herring, since they can’t see him coming

like, this would have worked no matter what though. but I guess it did get Aoyama to lower his guard

LOL MY POOR GLITTER BOY

FIRE YOUR DAMN LASER KID

ooooh

it’s so gross that he refers to it as an umbilical cord and now I’m never not gonna be able to think of it as that

so anyway, I’m guessing that this special move works by having Dark Shadow fly somewhere and then instead of retracting the shadow back to him, he pulls himself toward Dark Shadow

LOL

what, y’all didn’t see those flashbacks with Hawks just a few pages ago. pay attention to other characters’ life stories

ah, here are the mechanics explained to us in a cute little comic

“Dark Shadow can fly so one day I was like, ‘ohh... pick me up so I can fly too. fucking duh’”

also has the bonus advantage of distracting opponents with how shockingly adorable it is

so now he’s plucking Aoyama out of Kuro’s clutches

I bet Aoyama’s pissed that his cape broke in the process though

LISTEN HERE BITCHES, Y’ALL ARE GONNA NEED PLAN B, C, D, ETC. BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO TAKING OUT MY GIRL MOMO HERE. YOU’RE GONNA RUN OUT OF LETTERS OF THE FUCKING ALPHABET YOU AMATEURS

she said, but also I’m still pretty sure they’re gonna lose fffff

since Aoyama and Tokoyami are now perfectly positioned, Momo’s telling Aoyama to use his navel buffet

ah I see, eliminate Kuro’s potential hiding places by blinding him with Aoyama’s splendor

so Dark Shadow is covering himself in Kuro’s cape and Aoyama is letting ‘er rip

this is such an odd and perfect sound effect and I’m really impressed with Horikoshi for coming up with it in English

aha!

GOTCHA MOTHERFUCKER

now Momo’s calling Hagakure to action, and for a moment I was like ‘why’ but then I remembered her special move

but before we get to that, please enjoy this Yaoyorozu Momo “just as planned” panel

yessssss now get ready for --

...

okay what is plan B

...

and the chapter ends. of course

chapter 200 is gonna be some wild times isn’t it. lol

[kiangreyback]

❝ He tore the beauty from his face, and called it terror. ❞

AVAN JOGIA? No, that’s actually KIAN GREYBACK. A SEVENTH YEAR student, this RAVENCLAW student is sided with THE DEATH EATERS. HE identifies as CISMAN and is a UNKNOWN ( WEREWOLF ) who is known to be CUNNING, TEMPERAMENTAL, and BRUTAL but also RELIABLE, ADROIT, and ADAPTABLE.

links: pinterest

triggers: child abuse, child abandonment, kidnapping, drugs, alcohol

CHILDHOOD.

!! CHILD ABUSE TW, CHILD ABANDONMENT, KIDNAPPING TW !! The most that Kian can remember about his childhood is abandonment. Perhaps the cruelest thing to him was his parents deciding to carry him for nine months, bring him into this world and leave him for it to devour. –And devour it did.  The story is that his parents just didn’t care– they had lives and he wasn’t a part of them. The most they’d done for him is stuff his pockets with a couple galleons and leave him behind in Knockturn Alley ( because who would go around asking ‘who’s kid is this’ there. )

However, he didn’t have to suffer abandonment for very long. Fenrir Greyback had an eye for those who ‘needed’ a pack and knelt down with a hand offered. It came with a price but what wouldn’t Kian give for a home– a family. Perhaps if he could go back he would have refused that offer…only perhaps.

Fenrir was a cruel man..and that was putting it mildly– but Kian wonders if he’d take his own parents over a monster of a man because at least he’d given him a home. ( Not that home meant comfort but it did, eventually, mean FAMILY. )

His ‘father’ was hard on him. He was pushed to his breaking point again and again. He was taught how to endure cruelty, how to get his vengeance, to bleed but not be weakened by it. The lessons were vicious – but in Kian’s eyes necessary. He adapted well, fought until he couldn’t catch his breath and held up his siblings when it was their turn. Even though he was scared, Kian would approach everything in control– because that’s what he was taught. His ability to look Fenrir in the eyes and say NO earned him the most hated and most favoured spot in ragtag group of his siblings. ( standing up to his father only had a punishment at the end– though it seemed as if Kian had made his own mark with his stubbornness. ) Get knocked down, you get back up and you swing.  !! End TW !!

SCHOOL DAYS.

Kian was sorted into Ravenclaw. A strange house for someone who’d seem more fit for Gryffindor or Slytherin. But it came down to his cleverness and craftmanship that stuck him in with the eagles. He was smart– or rather a smartass – found unconventional solutions to problems and had a cunning way of adapting to even the worst of conditions.

He isn’t very popular with the others in his house or year– a little bit of an outcast because who doesn’t know that GREYBACK is synonym for WEREWOLF. HE tended to be a target for the upperclass peers to dig into when they were feeling bored. Though it ended with someone hexed or cursed or sporting a split lip or broken nose. But such was his life and he wasn’t too bothered by it. –As he grew older and stronger and word got back to those scaredy-cat pureblood parents that it was a Greyback throwing said spell/fist– things quickly quietened down for fear of retaliation from Fenrir. ( Not that the bastard actually cared but it’s the… thought that counts.)

HE doesn’t really spend time in clubs or extracurricular as he feels it’s a waste of time. Besides he has one band of dumbasses he doesn’t need to join any others. However, he did pick up quidditch from an early age and was quite a talented flier. His postion is naturally a beater– though he’s not fond of being led by a weasley.

His grades are above average and had once been considered for the position of prefect because of them but ultimately wasn’t offered it because of the fights he’d been involved with. smart but not friendly nor helpful enough.

OTHER STUFF.

Uhm, he doesn’t believe in all this ‘purebloods are superior’ shit. He’s just mostly here for the fight– at least that’s what he believes his ‘father’ is in it for because Merlin knows they aren’t fucking purebloods no matter how you spin it. There’s no money. No real parents. No hoity-toity clothes. No nose so far up his own ass. – IN fact i think he believes the Purebloods are a disgrace and can’t hold their own and that’s why people like him have to fight their battles. ( He doesn’t really voice this but he definitely thinks it even if it isn’t particularly true— just he’s real dumb? arrogant? idk? about this mess of a war )

He’s actually quite calm??? ( I KNOW?? WHAT?? ) He doesn’t mess with others unless he’s messed with and he tends to keep to himself. Kian isn’t out there being a social butterfly because he really doesn’t fucking care what you do or say or whatever. Life is dumb as hell, in his opinion, and he thinks dealing with his own is enough without someone elses involved. HOWEVER, if he is messed with this boy is gonna throw down. LIke he’s gonna go for the throat because that’s how he was raised. It’s either you or them there is no BOTH.

with that ^ said— he does have friends ( hallo plots ). he can be quite charming if he puts in the effort and perhaps his ‘life sucks, do what u want’ attitude tends to draw in people who may need stress relief from the war or you know normal things like last nights essay.

!! DRUGS TW, ALCOHOL TW !! Kian does smoke. Cigarettes and pot– never been one for anything harder than that. If he really wants to let go he’s out here for a couple rounds of firewhiskey. This is probably to the best way to see his true personality.   !! END TW !!

Loyalty is important to him ( though he isn’t past using it as a toss-around word for the DEs because he just really doesnt give a single fuck about them ). His lays with his siblings– though not biological he is very protective of his sisters but not enough to stand in the way of danger for them ( unless lethal. he will definitely step in ) After all they should know how to survive by now ANYWAYS. ( okay he does step in more often than that ;) a pack is a pack. )

There is some light at the end of the tunnel with him. He is quite funny when he wants to be– he can have a laugh and smile ( no, i mean an actual smile ) but it seems to be reserved for those he can trust and let down that massive guard he has up.

MORE RANDOM THINGS.

Probably would love baseball in the muggle world.

The name Kian was given to him due to that being the first word he spoke to Greyback. ( OR at least that’s what Fenrir believes he said ). Kian would be the name his father had and somehow it had stuck in his mind. ‘Why are you out here all alone?’ ‘Kian.’ SOOOOOOO he has no idea that’s his real father’s name….but yeno I guess you do get some things from your parents ha.

He doesn’t really remember anything about his birth parents. He only remembers Greyback. Greyback is gross and likes to hold things over your head so -- his parents leaving him is something that is usually brought up in order to take kian down a notch-- though it doesnt work how Greyback anticipates.

Doesn’t really have an opinion on being a werewolf other than it’s time consuming and therefor irritating to deal with. Pain is pain. Its an inconvience he wishes he could cure but not one that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to cure it, if u get me.

His favorite food is probably something dumb like mashed potatoes with gravy or roasted chicken with cous cous. – Favorite drink would be something equally simple like apple juice. Basically the palate of a two year old. Meaning he’s also here for things like lollies and popcicles, general summer time sweet treats. Not much for hot drinks like coffee or tea tho..go figure.

He has SEVERAL tattoos…..and  none of them really mean anything? They are mostly just  a series of lines/designs/patterns that he doodles on his parchments and, you know, since Papa Greyback don’t care about anything except himself this boy’s been getting them since summer before sixth year.

Tends to favour clothes that are flowy or breezy. Oranges and reds…blacks and whites mostly when outside of uniform. Doesn’t mind tighter jeans but the shirts gotta be flowy.

He cuts his hair every so often. Like real short then lets it grow out…currently like mid-length and usually pulled up out of his face either in a pony or half-up-half-down.

PRetty damn good at wizard’s chess ( eat your heart out ron weasley! ) and most anything that requires quick-strategy. He’s pretty good at figuring out the other’s intention which leads to a win.

He does draw– not anything too complicated but enough to know he has a mediocre talent in it? ( ie. his tattoos/doodles. )

His favorite classes are probably transfig, charms and probably astronomy. Most hated is herbology, comc, divinations and History or studies of anything.

UMM VERY UNSURE of what he’s gonna do when he graduates?? He doesn’t really have a certain goal for right now but….hopefully he can figure it out before the end of the semester tbh.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

Best Friends. I SAID IT!!! i know i mentioned lone wolf but listen-- he needs a bestie or two  to fuck things up with or at least someone to treat him like he isn’t just, yeno, a wolf.

‘Bullies’.  This tech could be any blood status but i think, particularly, purebloods would be fun for this. basically when they were younger they picked at him for assorted reasons and eventually told to leave him alone by his parents because of Fenrir Greyback. Probably holds resentment to him because of that. also probably still takes abs at him. --kian being on the edge of chilling and ready to throw a curse at you, some could be fun enemies and/or frenemies at this point.

Hookups. basically fun hookups, angsty hookups, any genders. there isn’t a particular reason just that he likes to hookup -- this is probably something that is just physical. he’s not emotionally available and most likely doesn’t know how to be.

That ONE Person. you know that quote? ‘When is a monster not a monster? oh when you love it.’ I think it’d be nice to have someone that treats him softly-- on equal grounds. Like not scared of him or not here to make fun of him but to be gentle towards him. LIKE YOU KNOW the ones taht are saying ‘well your feelings are important. you are important. you aren’t trash’ ( even tho he is trash sometimes lmao )

Qudditch Buddies. Kian is usually abrassive but when it comes to this sport he is probably the only one in the school with good sportsmanship. he doesn’t care if they win or lose ( he still plays well though he’s not lazyyyy ) he’s just there to have a good time!! I think that’d make him quite likable on the pitch-- probably, as funny as this sounds, a breath of fresh air.

[negasonicimagines]

Sexy Alphabet (350 Follower Special)

Since no one requested any letters, I decided I’d post the full list using the prompts by astral-writings & then if you want to request a letter for me to fufill using my own original alphabet, then you can submit a letter via the ask or messaging features. Anyways, here goes...

A is for Aftercare...What does she do and act like after sex?

Ellie enjoys taking care of you afterwards, considering it pretty much part of the act. She always cuddles you in whatever position you like, and enjoys praising you. She’ll do just about anything you ask if it’ll put a smile on your face.

B is for Bondage… Is she into BDSM? How far will she go if she has a green light?

Ellie loooooves to tie you up and have you at her mercy. She’s willing to experiment if it’s what you want, but isn’t overly rough and definitely isn’t into anything she deems “gross.”

C is for Cum… Pretty self explanatory.

She loves making you cum, and will do it as many times as you’ll let her. Ellie likes it when you get her off, but prioritizes you.

D is for Dom… Is she dominant, submissive, a switch?

Ellie is totally dominant and loves having control over you. She thinks you’re absolutely adorable when you’re submitting to her. Ellie might sub every now and then if she’s tired or for her partner’s sake, because she doesn’t hate it, but definitely prefers domming.

E is for Edgeplay… What riskier than usual kinks (knifeplay, breathplay, etc.) is she into?

Ellie isn’t into anything super dangerous, but she’ll choke you if you ask (and realize just how much she likes it.) She’d definitely experiment with teasing you with a knife, but wouldn’t cut you with it. She wouldn’t be particularly into anything at first, mostly enjoying you enjoying yourself, but she’d quickly find herself into choking upon partaking in it for you. She’d like the feeling of control and the quiet little sounds that you’d make. She especially likes telling you that you’re not allowed to breathe until you cum.

F is for Fantasy… What’s a fantasy of hers?

She is super into the thought of overstimulating you, but isn’t sure how to bring it up.

G is for Got Caught… How would she react to being caught having sex?

Depending on who catches you two, she’d likely just do her best to hide your naked forms and tell whoever it is to fuck off. Might throw something at them if she thinks she can get away with it.

H is for Hot Spots… What’s a place that quickly turns her on upon being touched?

Ellie’s “hot spot” is her back, 100%. If it’s been a long, hard day, due to a mission, training, or just the stresses of life, and you offer her a massage, it’s leading to sex for sure. Touching her back is the only way you can get her to let you make her cum first, because it loosens her up to the point she’s truly willing to let you do whatever you want. It sends exciting tingles throughout her body, but it also relaxes her so much.

I is for Intimacy… How romantic is she before, during, and after sex?

Ellie is definitely caring, but she’s not usually over-the-top romantic unless it’s her birthday, yours, or a holiday like Valentine’s Day. She can super romantic if you or her has had a tough day. Basically, it’s just like your non-sexual interactions.

J is for Journey… What’s her ideal way of leading up to sex?

Ellie loooooves to prime you with wet kisses to your neck and chest, taking your clothes off but by bit. She can be a teaser, but sometimes prefers getting to the point. Loves foreplay either way.

K is for Kinks…  What are her kinks, typical and/or especially deviant?

DIRTY TALK. Also, Ellie quickly gets into choking if you are, and she also likes tying you up (as previously said.) She’s mostly into whatever gets you off as long as it isn’t too gross or taboo. Ellie would like being called Daddy for sure, but it’d fluster her quite a bit at first.

L is for Location… Where does she like to have sex at? Does she like risky locations?

Ellie doesn’t intend do have sex publicly, but she will definitely finger you in a movie theatre if she gets bored of whatever’s on the screen. Sometimes you take her to boring movies on purpose. (She knows this, no matter how sly you think you are.) She prefers privacy, but other than that doesn’t care about what furniture it’s done on, though a bed is easiest.

M is for Masturbation… How is she when she gets herself off? What does she enjoy?

If Ellie has any dirty pictures of you, that’s her go-to. She really likes to sext when you’re apart, whether it’s during the summer when she goes home to her family, or when one of you is on a mission for a while. Ellie can sext with a straight face, and will, just to see you blush or to help you get off when she doesn’t have the same level of privacy. Sometimes you’ll send her ridiculously dirty texts (or pictures, if you do that) to try and fluster her, but the most you’ve gotten out of her so far is a pleasantly surprised expression. She’s a pretty quiet masturbator, living in a house with lots of other people for most of the year; however, she will put on a show for you.

N is for NO… What are a few things that she will absolutely, under no circumstances, ever do?

Ellie will NOT hit you, other than spanking. Definitely not into scat or piss, either.

O is for Ons… Turn-ons, to be exact. What are hers?

You. Just… You.

P is for Position...  What’s her favorite sexual position?

Depends on the act. When you finger Ellie, she likes for you to sit in between her legs so she can look at all of you while you do it. When you eat her out, it really just depends on her mood. Sometimes Ellie likes to ride your face & sometimes she prefers your head between her thighs and her hands in your hair, guiding you as well as praising you between moans. When she fingers you, she prefers to be in a sort of imitation of missionary, directly on top of you while she finger-fucks you.

Q is for Quickie... Does she like it? Does she prefer it over “actual” sex?

She definitely doesn’t prefer quickies, but if you two are horny and lacking time, she definitely doesn’t mind, either. It might even make her realize she’s sort of into clothed sex.

R is for Rough…  Is she rough in bed? If so, how rough?

Ellie likes being rough in a more conventional way (biting your neck, digging her nails into you, pulling your hair) and will progress a little further (spanking, choking) if you ask, but isn’t into anything hardcore. She doesn’t want to truly hurt you, ever.

S is for Stamina… How long she can go before she tap out?

Both of you being teenagers, you two can go on and on and on… But, eventually, one (or both) of you does get tired.

T is for Toys... Does she use toys? Does she own them? If so, what kind?

Ellie doesn’t really prefer being penetrated with a strap-on or other kinds of toys, but she definitely likes fucking you with them. She also likes to use vibrators, on you or her.

U is for Unfair… How much does she tease you, and how does she tease you?

When Ellie’s in the mood to tease you, she can do a variety of things. She loves to tease you by sending you dirty texts when you can’t do anything about it, or tracing her fingers up your inner thigh under a table, creeping up to where you need her most and then sliding back down, so slowly. She might even do both at the same time, all while chewing bubblegum and working on homework. Ellie teases you until she gets bored of it.

V is for Volume… How loud does she get when having sex? What are some things she might say?

Ellie swears often, groans a little more than she moans or whines. She enjoys your reaction to her saying your name enough to go out of her way to incorporate it into her moans when she isn’t sure what to say. She is loud and vocal as fuck when there’s the privacy to be, liking to boost your confidence and just let loose, but otherwise isn’t very loud.

W is for Wild Card… A random letter for Yukio!

D is for Dom! Yukio is a dominant-leaning switch, which leads to some complications in the sexual component of hers and Ellie’s relationship. They make it work, though. (This is one reason they’re excited to have the reader as a third.)

X is for X-Ray… How does she look with their clothes off?

Ellie usually wears a sports bra and boxers, sometimes will wear a girlier, sexier set (definitely black) to surprise and fluster you. 

Y is for Yearning... How often does she need to have sex?

Ellie doesn’t “need” sex, but she usually is pretty horny. She would never pressure you, though, and is perfectly content with getting off in the shower or whatever if you don’t feel like sex for any reason. You guys usually do at least something every night, though.

Z is for Zzz… How quickly does she fall asleep after having sex?

How quickly Ellie falls asleep after sex depends entirely on how many rounds there were. She’s typically a night owl and cuddles you to sleep, but will crash earlier than usual if you two’s actions have really taken it out of her.

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck season 2, episode 8 reaction

Things go to hell pretty quickly, except Björn, who doesn’t go to hell fast enough.

Episode 8

Clip 1 - Happy ending for now

Mia and Alexander head into school together. Their little sideways smiles at each other warm my cold heart, I’ll admit. She hands him his keys so she drove his car. There was a windshield wiper situation, heh. Really I just love how they’re looking at each other, like they’re deeply pleased to be with each other. I know that seems obvious, but for some reason a lot of fictional couples spend so much time having drama that they don’t seem to actually enjoy each other’s company. Something I like about Mia and Alex is that I do think that they enjoy just hanging out and talking to each other about whatever. It’s not just about attraction, I do feel like there’s some inherent compatibility there.

Mia is rocking that red lipstick, by the way. It seems particularly bold today, reflecting her mood, I guess.

Mia and Alex hold hands when they get inside and people stare, I assume because Alexander Hardenberg is holding hands with a girl. He’s dating someone? Not just banging her??? And it’s Alexander Hardenberg of the Hotel Hardenberg fortune, you know, he’s a big deal at this school.

Also, they’re basically announcing themselves as a power couple, lmao. Let me put it this way, if fandom hadn’t come up with Winterberg as a ship name, the students themselves would have, because that couple is a big deal.

LMAO, Druck gets in its own version of the “I’m so hungover from the weekend”/”It’s Wednesday” exchange from Skam when Kiki says she’s still hungover from the Tangore party and Mia says that was two days ago. I fucking love that they managed to work in that iconic line somewhere without totally copying the scene. (Again, I have to ask: what was Julie’s inspiration for that moment? Did those girls win a walk-on contest?)

Mia and Alexander are going to the movies on Thursday, Valentine’s Day. You know, they’ve actually established movies as a thing that both of them enjoy, a common interest? I know liking movies is not exactly an obscure trait, but we’ve seen Mia and Alexander have a movie night where they both discuss movies briefly, and a day where they watch a film in bed together, and now they plan to go to the movies on Thursday. Mia has a pic of an outdoor movie screen on IG. I forgot if there were anything else, but it’s a small detail that makes it feel more like a real relationship.

We get a Kiki/Carlos conversation as they walk away, so super POV break, although not unusual for Druck. Kiki asks Carlos what they’re doing for Valentine’s Day and he says that’s just something the Americans invented, like Halloween. Carlos, I’m not gonna stand for lumping Halloween and Valentine’s Day together like one isn’t an extremely fun day where as a kid you wear a costume and get a lot of free candy and the other isn’t an extremely bleak day where as an adult you wear sweatpants and eat a whole bag of candy you bought yourself while you try not to think about your love life or lack thereof.

Kiki says she likes Halloween, however, and Carlos pretends to be a zombie and attacks her. It is extremely cute. I’m glad the German Magnus/Vilde equivalent proved to be so delightful, I wouldn’t even mind seeing these two being gross at each other. (I mean. Don’t push it.)

Mia hugs Hanna happily, and Hanna says, “Happy Ending?” which in a fictional context with three episodes to go might as well be putting a curse on Mia. She also knows that Mia and Alex are going to the movies on Valentine’s Day. Already? Alex just said that downstairs? Mia says Kiki is unbelievable. So Kiki just texted that to the girls right then and there, in the middle of a zombie attack no less. That is a special skill 

There’s some very cute girl squad interaction, Sam filmed Mia and Alex holding hands, all the girls are so happy that Mia is happy, everybody’s cool with each other, no more drama, yay!

Except some drama, because Mia asks Hanna about Jonas, Hanna is stressed because Jonas is all freaked out because boy Sam flirted with her. I love Jonas but he needs to chill. Poor Hanna has other things to worry about, and you’re not dating anymore so she can flirt with anyone she wants. 

Clip 2 - Violence is not the answer but hit him harder

Alex twirls Mia adorably. I’ve said this before but they’re a really enjoyable couple on just a clip-by-clip basis, watching them interact. A scene of them doing mundane tasks like grocery shopping or doing laundry together would probably be entertaining. Assuming Alexander does not pay someone to deliver his groceries or do his laundry.

He’s taking her to an indoor skate park. He did have that skateboard in his apartment! They managed to work in a skater despite German Jonas being more of a musician.

Alex says he goes here to blow off steam. Mia asks if he means from school, and I do not think he actually means from school, probably all his family and personal drama. He clearly knows some guy there and is friendly with him. It’s great that we see Alexander have like … actual interests and hobbies considering that was one of my gripes about William, I had no idea what he did in his free time.

Lol, watching someone else skate is not the most exciting date, like what a typical sidelined-girlfriend activity. I mean, I do think in a relationship you want to learn about your partner’s hobbies and it’s probably really exciting for Mia getting this insight into Alexander, fun to just watch him when they’re in the glow of their new relationship. But on Skam and the remakes we had the Evas watching their Jonases skate, basically them being passive, the Jonases being active. Though I feel like that was part of the point about that relationship, with Jonas having more of an identity and Eva just being a tag-along, and the context is pretty different here with Mia and Alexander. But damn, what’s with all these dudes bringing their girlfriends to dates where the girls are just spectators to the guys’ fun? Where are all the girls and their skateboards? Or where are all the guys watching their girlfriends play sports? It’s not really a criticism of the show, just an observation. We know Mia is driving Alexander’s car so I’m going to headcanon that she also borrows his skateboard. 

Lol, Mia even sees the women on the sidelines and is like, are you the players wives and girlfriends? There’s a whole group of women just hanging out and watching their guys do stuff! But they seem nice and offer her a drink.

So I actually missed the first time around that there’s a text message where they plan this outing. It’s Mia who asks about watching him skateboard. She also asks if she can try and he teases her by saying it’s just for boys. Lol, I love that it played out like that and that it’s her idea. I’m sure in the future once their relationship heals, Mia will get her own chance with the skateboard. 

We see Alexander skateboarding and being dorky, Mia smiling as she watches him. It’s all fun and games until Björn shows up. The upbeat 50 Cent song fades out and there’s a brief moment where there’s like a tense sound effect as Mia waves to him. It’s gone when Alexander skates over, so it’s like it’s establishing specifically this ominous connection between Björn and Mia, which we know turns into something awful later.

Alexander is pissed and wants to know how Mia knows Björn, and she explains that he was in the flat when she stayed over at Alex’s place. Alexander is being somewhat alarming with his demanding answers from Mia, although his anger obviously is not targeted at her and is motivated by this scumbag not only being in his presence, but having some sort of acquaintance with another person he cares about. After losing Sophie, the thought of losing Mia because of Björn is terrifying. Like I get why Alexander freaks out, knowing that Björn was in his flat, and not only that, but when Mia was alone there and didn’t have a clue who this guy really is and that he’s dangerous.

Alexander walks over and hits Björn with a skateboard twice, so Björn is crumpled on the ground gasping for breath. We get that ringing in the ears sound which is both Björn dealing with getting whacked and Mia having a harsh reality crash into her beautiful love story. People pull Alex away and someone says to call an ambulance, Alexander runs off. He shoots Mia some glances before running, so I’m wondering if he realizes he fucked up, or is just concerned about her well-being, or scared what she thinks of him now, all the thoughts running through his head.

I mean, … violence is not the answer and I do think Alexander should face consequences for that action because that’s just how it works. BUT it’s hard for me to be appalled at this knowing what Björn did to Sophie and later did to Mia. He’s an abuser. Even when this clip first aired and we didn’t have the full story of Björn’s history, I was like, well, if Björn raped/assaulted/did something bad to Alex’s sister, and she’s dead because of it, then I have a hard time judging him for this. 

But I also don’t care for William smashing the bottle over that guy’s head, which is essentially the equivalent scene. Is that hypocritical? I’d argue that they’re two different circumstances, and that William didn’t need to do what he did. I think a big difference is that the situation with the Yakuza boys might have been able to be prevented before it got out of hand just by going to the police, which William dismissed at the time as naive. Alexander didn’t need to attack Björn either, but Björn probably wasn’t ever going to face justice for abusing Sophie and influencing her death. Again, not that it’s justified, but I can admit that on a gut level I get it more.

And honestly, looking at the whole season, a lot of it has to do with the respective degrees of investment in this situation by Mia and Noora. The Yakuza plot seems very impersonal because Noora doesn’t have a solid connection to it herself; the whole time she’s a bystander. She watches Chris get out of the car with a black eye, she sees Isak get into Chris’ car, she observes the fight. Sure, Chris and Jonas get beat up and William might face punishment, but she feels so outside what happened. Mia, on the other hand, gets very personally involved in the Björn drama. Björn preys on her, and even aside from that, Mia is more up close and personal with the effects of Björn’s behavior on Alex such as the panic attack. Ultimately it just feels like the Yakuza dudes are a nebulous menace with nebulous motives, I don’t even know the name of the dude who got a bottle smashed on his head, and that makes less aligned with William and more skeptical of his motives in attacking that guy, but I do have a clear idea of who Björn is, why he’s a bad guy, and what he did to Alexander and his family, and later Mia, and so I just find this more engaging and Alexander more sympathetic, even if I get that these are both inappropriate actions.

Intellectually I’m like: violence is bad, vigilante justice is bad, don’t do that, Alexander needs to learn to control his anger. Emotionally I’m all: kick his ass.

Clip 3 - Someone needs to adopt Michi

Mia comes home and flops on her bed. She’s been texting Alex and trying to get in touch with him to no avail. Alex, dude, that is a bad move. Even if you need to cool off and clear his head, you’re leaving your girlfriend in the dark over an extremely shocking, possibly traumatizing moment. Plus, you know, leaving her open to sympathizing and possibly being manipulated by Björn, the guy who ruined your life and Sophie’s.

Linm comes in and offers her soup in Chinese. Michi comes in because he heard someone offering food. Relatable as fuck, my boomerang friend.

Actually he came in because he said Hans went to get pizza but Michi doesn’t know if he’s coming back. DUDE, Hans, did you really go out for pizza but not see if your boy wanted any? You ditched him?

Also, this seems like a parallel to Mia and Alex, which I thought might happen. Hans ditched Michi like Alex ditched Mia. Michi asks if Alex cheated on Mia, with what seems like a casual tone, like it’s expected, which is depressing if you think he’s used to that in his relationship. Mia asks him to leave, lmao. 

Mia tells what happened at the skate park to Linn. Linn asks what happened to Björn. You can see Mia get an idea. Oh no, don’t talk to Björn before Alex gives you the story! We know where this is going!!

Clip 4 - Fuck Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day. Mia walks through the rain as we hear her leaving Alex a message about being worried about him. The music has some apropos lyrics: “And if you dream you fix me / And if you stay you hurt”

Mia waits outside of the movie theater, like they planned. They’re showing Casablanca. I’m trying to think up some symbolic reason why it might be that movie, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen Casablanca. Errr, it doesn’t have a happily ever after for the couple? 

The marquee says “Valentine’s Day Surprise” which is not inaccurate, lol, it’s just a fucking shitty surprise for Mia. She waits for him. Another happy couple shows up and rubs their romance in her face. Always a great feeling on V-Day! A dude in an Alex-typical coat and hoodie strolls up just to rub his Alexness in her face. She’s being hit with reminders of her fraught love situation like pies to the face.

Mia gets a call, not from Alex, from Hanna, saying she got a message from Jonas telling her that if she went to Sam’s gig, that’s it for him. WTF, Jonas? “It” as in him and Hanna? Stop being a drama king. You guys broke up. IDK if there’s a clarification in German, but could he also be like his well-being/stability is over if Hanna goes to the gig? Because that’s even more extreme. No matter what, it’s manipulative. He’s putting something about his quality of life on Hanna, like what is she supposed to do? Not go because it will make Jonas upset?

Mia is getting emotional about being stood up on Valentine’s Day and seeing happy couples show up to the theater isn’t helping. She throws away her card and the movie tickets and leaves.

Bad move, Alex. You could have at least sent her a text. Even if you didn’t want to explain, just say you can’t make it to the movie so she doesn’t wait outside in the rain on Valentine’s Day. 

Clip 5 - Happy ending my ass

Mia goes to see Björn, who’s in the hospital. She got the info from a girl at the skate park. The lighting in this room is very warm and bright and I wonder if that’s intentional, to create a sense of security and trustworthiness and to influence us into thinking this guy doesn’t seem so bad. It just struck me immediately when you compare it to Mia outside, or previous clips of her waiting for Alex at the theater. 

Mia wants some answers. Björn says he was dating Sophie, who lived in Bali, and when Mia asks if she came back, Björn is like … she died. Shit, so she is dead. I thought they might make her alive but dealing with serious consequences of being with Björn. I will say I am surprised Mia didn’t find any news of Sophie’s death during her Google stalking, or from people gossiping, but I can also buy that the family tried to keep it quiet, especially because of her manner of death. He says that Alexander told her something totally different, and the way he says it, he’s presenting it like, of course Alexander has lied to her, not surprising, like he knows Alexander is the untrustworthy one. We hear that same ringing sound that happened when Alex was attacking Björn, because again, it’s Mia’s world getting rocked, it’s the happy ending being overturned, she’s learning upsetting things about Alexander.

Mia is upset and Björn comes off all comforting, saying it’s not her fault, the whole family is broken. He tells her about the dysfunctional family dynamic and describes Alex’s charming act. Obviously this applies more to Björn rather than Alexander, down to Sophie falling for the act, but it’s unclear how much Björn knows he’s fucked up or whether he’s just projecting like an IMAX. Or you know, lying. 

Björn says Sophie committed suicide and that she always suffered from depression but it didn’t fit in with the image her family wanted. Björn and Sophie planned to go to Bali and travel after graduation, but the family didn’t like Björn and constantly tried to get her to come back. I bet Mia is reacting to this strongly because of her relationship with her own family. She also has parents who try to get her to fit into their own image and come back to them when she’s living independently, parents who don’t seem to really get her. It seems like they were most concerned about Mia being away from them because of how people talked about it, not necessarily because they missed her.

You can see why Mia believes him, because this dude isn’t like, radiating an evil aura. He’s very convincing in his manipulation. He seems sincere about caring for Sophie and very broken up about what happened to her. And Alex did lie to Mia about Sophie, and he had a sudden incident of violence, and Björn happens to be hitting close to home when he describes Sophie’s relationship with her family. I get that we know as a viewer that Björn is bad news, but Mia? Mia doesn’t have the benefit of knowing she’s on a TV show and that this storyline played out with a Norwegian girl already. 

As Mia leaves, Björn tells her to stay away from Alex, he’s dangerous. And Mia has reason to think this is correct. I mean, she went to meet Björn at a hospital, because Alexander put him there.

When Mia steps outside, she finally gets a text from Alex saying he was at his parents’ place to clear his head and he wants to meet. LMAO, dude, it’s not like you went to a spa to take a break from studying for exams, you ran off and ghosted your girlfriend for days after beating up a guy in front of her. You need to offer a way bigger apology than that. Especially because you want to meet with her? Do you think she necessarily wants to meet up with a guy who’s physically violent?

I like Mia’s face as she walks away. She’s not crying or anything, but she just gives off this sense of being torn and turning over what she just heard in her head. She puts in her earbuds and even though she’s not literally muffling Alexander’s voice like in that previous clip where he meets her in front of her place, in a way it feels like it’s a sign of her blocking him out. She doesn’t wait for his response after she tells him she met Björn, that’s all she needs to say and she’s done.

Social Media/General Comments:

As I mentioned above, Mia and Alexander planned the skateboard date. I wonder what fun activity Alexander will observe of Mia’s? He’s already seen her piano-playing, the true reveal will be when he walks in on her ironing to classical music. Now that tells you a lot about a person.

Mia tried to get answers from boy Sam about Alex’s whereabouts and what the hell happened, but Sam does not tell her anything except to find out from Alex himself. I can respect that, honestly. It might be frustrating for Mia, but Sam isn’t giving away his best friend’s sad backstory without his permission. 

Both of Mia’s parents contact her this week:

Her dad makes small talk and then asks if she knows where her mom went, never a good sign. That makes it seem like the mom walked out on him.

Her mom wants to come to Berlin and hang out with Mia. She complains about Mia’s dad getting on her nerves and how they’re so different and she doesn’t know why she got with him. You know, all stuff that you should maaaaybe not dump on your teenage daughter about her father. Tell that shit to a friend. Also, there’s something childish about it, not just the complaining, but that she wants to hang with Mia as a way to escape Mia’s father, not necessarily because she wants to see her daughter.

Druck conveniently did not have to provide any footage from boy Sam’s secret concert by having the invitation state NO PHOTOS - NO INSTA. Saved them the time and expense of staging a performance just for the SM content.

Jonas was bitter about the concert but what else is new. Stupid sexy Sam and his stupid sexy music, being in proximity to Hanna.

Hanna went ahead and posted a picture of her and boy Sam at the concert despite Jonas warning her that it’d be over if she went, which is a power move if there ever was one. I love Jonas but fuck if Hanna needs to listen to his dramatic ass. 

So Mia had a crappy V-Day where Alex ditched her, Hanna had Jonas drama weighing on her, Amira and Sam seemed unimpressed by Valentine’s Day, judging by IG posts that suggest so. In fact, I think the only couple who had a happy Valentine’s Day, whatever they did, was probably Kiki and Carlos. 

I’m not German so please feel free to correct me on stuff like cultural context and translation issues.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[jamlocked]

Let’s talk about John

Seeing as @raeofalbion and @summeringminor asked for it, let’s talk about John. I feel it may be unwise, but on this blog WE DIE LIKE MEN.

I want to talk about the violence and why, contrary to some things I’ve seen, it’s just…I don’t want to say, ‘not as awful as it’s made out’ but I can’t, because it is. But the reasons behind it don’t seem as alien to me as they seem to be to others.

Okay. So, first off, let’s talk about the British cultural thing I mentioned on this post, that I feel is sometimes overlooked (understandably) by those overseas. And I’m not condoning his behaviour in any way as a result of this, just pointing it out.

See, in my generation, it was always perfectly normal to utter casual threats of violence. Keep in mind that John is about ten years older than me, or something – I forget what year S4 is supposed to take place in - so this is even more true of his generation. Even when I was a kid, it was perfectly normal to say, ‘shut up, or I’ll kick your head in’. My mother would tell me, ‘I’ll skin you,’ if I was cheeky. When I was a teenager, my mates and I were all, ‘shut your mouth or you’ll get a slap’…and the thing is, none of us ever did these things, it was/is just a way of speaking in the UK. Hyperbole. There’s a very definite line, and people would rarely make the jump into actually doing any of it. But this is why John making statements like, ‘I could break every bone in your body while naming them’ does not read as abusive to me, it just reads as a standard, ‘shut your face because you’re annoying me’ statement.

Another mitigating factor – John was in the army. Now, my dad was in the army. So was my uncle. My best friend in my twenties was a senior cadet instructor, and I very nearly joined up myself a couple of times. I also played rugby – as John does/did – and spent my teenage years surrounded by lads with pints in their hands, threatening each other with a kicking while still being the best of mates. I went on holiday with an ex-paratrooper who told me that the regiment celebrated the arrival of new recruits by stuffing them in a locker and chucking them down a hill. This mate spent his first two months as a para recovering from a broken leg, collarbone and arm as a result of this initiation. (The guy was also utterly mental in other ways, but that’s another – very army – thing).

My point is…if you’re British and of a certain age, if you’ve been in the services, if you like macho sports and hanging out in that sort of company…there’s a certain way of speaking and behaving. And John is an intelligent man and a doctor, so not fully subscribed to this – I think it’s made pretty clear that he’s an outsider in some respects - but he also goes on holiday with his rugby mates, he’s addicted to danger and adrenaline, and he’s only happy when chasing down criminals with a (pretend) sociopath. He’s not portrayed as a sensitive type. He’s just more sensitive than Sherlock to social niceties, and spends his time pointing them out to him. But in the context of his age, the country he lives in, his background job, his hobbies, his current chosen way of living…his casual threats of violence don’t seem out of place to me.

(I will add at this point that speaking this way seems less of a thing, nowadays. Most of my friends now are about ten years younger than me, Oxford graduates, generally Woke, and would never dream of talking like that to anyone. Hurrah for the younger generation!)

HAVING SAID ALL THAT. John’s actions in S4 – specifically when he beat Sherlock up in TLD – were reprehensible. I could write a whole other essay on why, ‘a relationship would complete you as a human being’ was just awful, and…maybe I’ll get into that in a bit, because NO NO NO. But we’re talking about violence here, and why he seemed to start S1 as a generally affable guy with problems, and ended up shoeing Sherlock in the ribs on the tiles of a morgue. Of course that was gross. He crossed a line that few people go over, and the worst thing about it all was that Sherlock just accepted that he deserved it.

But again, the seeds of this were in him all along, and you can argue that yes, it made his character go to a really horrible place, but also that it was an action born out of circumstances and was there specifically to highlight just how much trouble John was in at the time. It also served as a plot device, because the relationship between John and Sherlock – the nucleus of the whole show – had to break down to its lowest point before they could rebuild it for a glorious coming-back-together in the final episode. It’s a standard redemption arc, where both heroes start high, fall to the pits, and then come through it together, stronger. It’s one thing to have John freezing Sherlock out and Sherlock nearly killing himself with drugs to get him back…that’s a slow-burn falling apart, and it’s hurtful but it’s not exciting. When you’re making ratings TV for the majority of people who are not in fandom, and just want their excitement fix once every few years, then you need a crunch point. A visual representation of how bad things have become. So, you get John literally kicking a man when he’s down, blaming him for the death of his wife. It brings it home to a mass audience.

…damnit, I had so many other things in my head about this the other night, and they’ve all deserted me. Never mind, let’s move on to the big Lack of Apology.

I am one of those who would love, beyond all else, for John to have stood in front of Sherlock at the end and the end of that episode, and said, ‘I’m sorry for assaulting you. I’m sorry for blaming you for Mary, when she was her own person and made her own choices. I know you did your best for her’. That would have been lovely.

At the same time…I think it says a lot about their relationship that he didn’t say it. I don’t think Sherlock needed him to, no matter how much we know Sherlock deserved to hear it. I think this was an instance of Moftiss trusting the audience a little bit. Quite simply, the fact that John stood in front of Sherlock and admitted, ‘what it is…is shit’, and then cried – Sherlock and John don’t do vulnerability with each other. They take the piss and call each other names, and are downright insulting a lot of the time (‘I always hear ‘punch me in the face when you talk’…’you’re an idiot – oh, don’t look like that, most people are…’). Sherlock drugs John without consent (twice), and sets an imaginary dog on him in Baskerville. John quips about Asperger’s. They’re friends, but they’re not soft with each other. They’re British men of a certain generation (written by British men of a certain generation). So, John came to Sherlock after all the shit that happened, and he admitted that he wasn’t doing well, and Sherlock stood up and hugged him and told him he was a human being. Sherlock knew he was sorry, or he wouldn’t have come. John knew Sherlock has been beating himself up over Mary, or he wouldn’t be in the state he was in. They accepted each other back into their lives, and tacitly agreed to move on. They’re intelligent men, they knew what they’d been through, they knew they were both sorry. And from there, they go onto TFP, having each other’s backs once more and finishing the season running together side by side.

I’m probably missing loads of important stuff, because I haven’t watched S4 since it aired. But the feeling that has stayed with me since I watched it, is that nothing that happened in the first two eps was good between them, but nothing was particularly out of character either. John beat Sherlock up because he was wracked with guilt over thinking about having an affair, and then Mary died. Him beating Sherlock up was an eruption of that guilt, transferring it onto the easiest person to blame. And of course that’s an awful thing, but he’s supposed to be a human being. People do that shit all the time. The fact that Sherlock forgives him is a whole other kettle of fish (let’s not get into his whole lack of self-esteem), but what is true friendship if not seeing someone at their very worst, and loving them anyway? I don’t think – I hope – that no one believes John makes a habit of that, and beats Sherlock up once a week for the rest of their lives. It was a one-off thing that came from a very particular set of circumstances.

…okay, I’m going to shut up. This isn’t me defending John as a character, because honestly he’s always been one of the least interesting to me as a whole. But I do think he’s integral to everything that happens, and I see a lot of readings of his behaviour as completely OOC, or that somehow he’s a poor representation of friendship (I mean, he is in lots of ways but Sherlock’s often worse). I just…prefer to look at him as character, rather than some idealisation of How Friends Should Act towards one another. He’s not there to represent an ideal friend, or be an ideal person. He’s a foil to Sherlock who, let’s face it, is Problematic with a capital P. Yes, John functions better in society, but it’s a certain section of society. He’s a bloke who plays rugby and dates a string of women, and doesn’t remember details of their lives. He’s a bloke that chafes at domestic living (very clear in S3) and seeks excitement, so he texts another woman in S4. He’s not any kind of ideal. He’s just a bloke, and he falls apart when his wife dies, and it brings out the very worst of him. Sherlock accepts that, and they move on. It may be an unpleasant character arc, but I just don’t see it as being one that’s inherently OOC.

(But fuck Moftiss for ‘a relationship would complete you as a human being’, fuck them fuck them fuck all the way off.)

[princelettow-archive]

my girl becca & carbonated water bitch! 🤡

full clown costume is ON! 🤡 everything under the cut bcs embawwasing!!

who hogs the duvet

lacroix does (denies it though, “no i don’t, rebecca, it is simply too small for two people” even though he has a huge bed). she doesn’t care because it’s not like vampires can feel cold and besides she thinks it’s cute to wake up in the middle of the day and find him wrapped up in the duvet like a burrito (but please never mention it!)

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

becca! lacroix is busy most of the time and he doesn’t even use his phone that much (prefers ver formal and business like emails) and becca has no off button when it comes to texting (she’ll send 26 texts in a row, none of them make any sense and all of them have a string of uncoordinated emojis). she mostly sends him pictures of things she finds interesting. he pretends he doesn’t check them because he’s got work to do but it’s a lie!

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

creativity is becca’s middle name even if most of the time it’s just plain weird. lacroix is too conventional when it comes to gifts and he barely gives her any anyway (becca has a lot of stuff from him though, blame it on her sticky fingers)

who gets up first in the morning

lacroix! he has business to attend to and a city to poorly rule so you bet he’s up and running as soon as the sun comes down! becca has flexible hours and she mostly works from home so it’s not like she has much to do, she can laze around in bed all she wants (sometimes, very rarely, she manages to make him stay an extra five minutes)

who suggests new things in bed

neither of them because they don’t really do anything. it took lacroix forever to even comfortably lie down next to her let alone cuddle so like yeah

who cries at movies

if becca is in a particularly weird mood and if the movie hits too close to home she probably cries a little but other than that neither of them

who gives unprompted massages

becca does! mostly because lacroix is stressed after having to deal with camarilla business all night (and oh he bitches about it, that’s for sure) so sometimes when he’s in the middle of a rant she’d put her hands on his shoulders and try and give him one! he melts under her touch, but don’t say that out loud

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

vampires don’t get sick and neither of them do particularly dangerous work that could get them injured BUT if something happened then it’d probably be lacroix but he’d try to pass it off as just a slight concern even though he’s pretty worried in the inside 

who gets jealous easiest

LACROIX. becca is pretty and nice and if she doesn’t go off on a tangent like it usually happens then she’s also good company! she usually talks to everyone in camarilla parties because that’s just how she is and since they’re not really anything he can’t really say anything. he just looks at her talking with anyone and promptly ignores the person who was trying to start up a conversation with him because he’s too busy staring at her laugh and how he wishes she was talking to him :/ 

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

becca, but it’s not really embarrassing, it’s just messy and bad. lacroix listens to classical music because he’s a snob 

who collects something unusual

also becca! she collects....lots of weird stuff, but mostly twisty fuzzy worms she gives as a token of friendship to very important people

who takes the longest to get ready

that one goes for lacroix because he takes care about his appearance a lot!! he wears all those fancy suits perfectly fit and he spends 30 minutes in the bathroom trying to get his hair to look neat. then becca just puts on a random shirt and some overalls and a holo jacket and that’s it, done! the only time becca takes longer than him to get ready is when she suddenly decides it’s time to a hair colour change

who is the most tidy and organised

also lacroix, the guy lives in such a minimalistic apartment it looks straight out of an ikea catalogue (”seb, your fridge isn’t even plugged in!”). he keeps it extremely tidied up and not cluttered at all (a few decorative sculptures and paintings but barely any personal belongings, he keeps those in a separate room or carefully stashed away)

who gets most excited about the holidays

becca does! she never really got to properly celebrate them because she never had a family (and grout wasn’t so keen on holidays either) so even though lacroix doesn’t really care about holidays she really gets in the festive mood quickly! he would allow one (1) christmas sock to be placed in his haven (she goes hog wild in hers) and maybe, maybe, if they’ve been together for a while and becca insists, a christmas tree. he doesn’t have to, of course, it’s not like they live together or anything, but her face lights up when she sees it and he brushes it off but he’s lovestruck!!!

who is the big spoon/little spoon

becca is the big spoon both physically and emotionally. she just likes hugging people and she wraps him up with her arms and legs and it’s not like he can complain about it!! they don’t really spoon because they prefer to sleep face to face (gross....)

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

lacroix is a sore loser and childish and that’s canon and they don’t really play games but if they did then it would 100% be him. 

who starts the most arguments

also lacroix but they don’t really argue much because arguing with becca is near impossible and he does try to be nicer with her than he is with everyone else. they do have small quarrels sometimes but becca obfuscates when she’s tired of arguing and it’s like *becca voice* we are no longer here! so either he gives up or he keeps monologuing and it looks like he’s talking to himself dsjk

who suggests that they buy a pet

becca sometimes talks about how nice having an animal could be but it’s not like they could properly take care of one so it’s just a passing thought!

what couple traditions they have

this is mostly on becca’s part but she invites him to her haven from time to time so he can watch the pier lights with her (it’s very important to becca and he ends up really enjoying it too even if it’s not really that much of a deal)

what tv shows they watch together

lacroix doesn’t watch tv but becca forces him to watch baking shows because the cakes are pretty (jokes on him, he gets really invested and “what do you mean you watched the last show without me, rebecca?” and “why did they kick out x? he was clearly the one with the most proficient technique, this is outrageous”)

what other couple they hang out with

nobody can’t stand him so unless it’s cass and beckett i don’t think they can hang out with anyone (IF they get a triple date with gretel/nines and nines and lacroix bury the hatchet for once... them too)

how they spend time together as a couple

they don’t really do much “couple stuff” together but when she stays over they just sit down on his couch while he works on stuff and she watches tv or plays some viddy games with her head on his lap and they’re boring clowns but he sometimes plays with her hair

who made the first move

becca did obviously or else it would have taken lacroix 100 years to do anything. when i say “make the first move” i actually just mean holding his hand lmao but she probably did kiss him first too, only because he fucked up trying to do it

who brings flowers home

becca! probably doesn’t intend them as a gift, she just thought they looked nice or cass gave them to her and she brought him a couple because “your place is so boring, seb! we believe you need some colour”

who is the best cook

neither cooks because you know...they drink blood, but if they did then it’s probably lacroix! becca knows how to cook but he knows how to fancy cook

[fanfictionized]

Jitters

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky’s crush on the reader has gotten to the point of him acting like a freaking teenager every time he sees her. His palms get sweaty, his heart beats faster and... blood rushes to places it shouldn’t be rushing to...

One thing leads to another and sexy times ensue.

Warnings: Smut, fluff, awkwardness, Sam and Steve being supportive assholes

Words: 5.2k whoops

Main Masterlist

The whole thing had started not long after you had arrived at the Stark tower.

Even though Bucky was a man of many secrets.

His brain held the mysteries of a thousand lifetimes and his super-soldier-trained and focused body was one to sustain every emotion. Even pain.

For that he had been trained for seventy years, so obviously he was neither prepared, nor did he know how to handle his feelings for you as his so resistant body and mind began to reveal this very secret he had tried to keep to himself.

His body began to fidget, his voice wavering, speech stuttering, sweating profusely and if all of that hadn’t been enough already… he was flustered.

Motherfucking Winter Soldier, one of the deadliest assassins in the world, freaking flustered by a girl. Blushing like a little boy every time you spoke to him.

No, he had never needed to train for this and he had never been prepared for this because even before his time with Hydra he had never needed help when it came to the topic of women.

Oooh, scary.

But here he was.

Standing in front of you while all his thoughts went out the goddamn window.

“So… tomorrow’s okay?” You asked sweetly with a smile on your face, hands clasped together as you tried to suppress your own nervousness.

“Bucky?” You spoke up again and at hearing his own name fall from your lips he finally snapped out of it.

“Yes! Good…” He almost barked, making you flinch slightly as his gaze landed on your wide eyes, his expression softening.

Was he sweating…?

“Ten- Ten’s fine.” He stuttered and you saw him swallow hard, Adam’s apple bobbing as your gaze fell to his throat and his jawline… and his handsome face once again.

Pull yourself together.

“Okay, perfect.” You said, a big smile appearing on your face but before you could move your hand to reach out for him, he had already turned away, stomping off to go into his room.

You admitted- he was a strange guy.

But he could be so freaking sweet and funny if he wanted to be.

That’s what made you fall for him in the first place.

Barely a month of you being there and he had been the only one not being too intimidating.

Keeping his distance and respecting your personal space, but always being there when you needed someone to talk to or even just company if you didn’t feel like talking but couldn’t stand to feel so alone anymore.

He was always great at making you feel comfortable. He has such a calming presence.

Even though he was one of the most dangerous people there as you had learned, so the ‘not too intimidating’ thing was kind of ironic.

But also true.

He made you feel save when no one else could.

But somehow after months and months of you staying there and you two becoming really good friends, he had begun to act strangely.

You thought that perhaps he was just having a backlash, or was just not feeling too well over that period of time, but after a while it felt like something else was behind that weird behavior.

And you were keen on finding out.

Because you needed to know if he was really fine. That’s what friends are for after all, right?

Yeah… friends…

So you thought that perhaps spending more time with him would do the trick, making an appointment for tomorrow morning so that both of you could train together.

He’d show you some fight moves; you’d be happy to even be close to him…

It’d be fine.

.

.

.

“It’s not fine, Steve.” Bucky whined as he watched his friend pour himself a cup of coffee, mere hours before he’d go train with you.

He hadn’t even been able to sleep at night because of it, nightmares not having been the only thing to have kept him awake, staring at the ceiling and the glowing star stickers attached to it.

You had glued them on there after he’d had a particularly bad dream and following panic attack, only being able to find his way to your room in the anxious haze of adrenaline and dark thoughts- hoping you’d help him through it, to make it all go away.

And there was a reason that his brain had you memorized in a case of emergency.

You were his safe place.

So why was he still living through this nightmare of sweating-attacks, clammy hands and nervous stutter whenever he had finally found you?

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Bucky sighed, his hands clamping around his mug.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Steve spoke up, raising one judgmental eyebrow at him.

He knew that bitchy look on his face. He knew something he didn’t.

“What?” Bucky snapped back at him, brows drawing together and Steve could see his friend closing up physically; shoulders squaring in defense and eyes darkening.

“Now, let’s think about those “symptoms” you’re calling them-” Steve began, slowly walking around the kitchen counter to face his friend fully. Bucky’s head tilted to the side as he approached him, holding up his finger.

“We’ve all seen the way you’re around her, Buck. You can hide a lot, but not that.” He chuckled and Bucky’s dark expression turned into confusion.

“What? What that?” He stuttered, already feeling his rapid pulse in the palm of his hand.

“Your feelings for her, man! It’s obvious!” Steve laughed, counting on his fingers.

“You always get really nervous around her. You can barely build a sentence, let alone speak without stuttering. You start to sweat like… I really have not seen that before and quite frankly, it’s a little gross…” Steve continued and at hearing his words, the realization of it, he felt the blood rushing to his cheeks.

“And that.” Steve pointed at the blush spread across his face and Bucky only grumbled, turning back to face his coffee.

“Look, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Steve stepped closer, laying a hand on his friend’s back.

“She’s a great girl. You know we all love her and support whatever this is between you two… I’m just happy I can be the one giving yourelationship advice for the first time ever.” He chuckled and Bucky’s tense body relaxed a little at hearing him speak, letting out a low chuckle.

“Right…” He muttered before he turned to him again.

“Wait… did everyone notice?” Bucky asked in bewilderment and Steve only sent him a knowing glance, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Buddy” He took a deep breath before continuing “We all know… except for (y/n), so you better make that happen, Romeo.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at him, scoffing at his remark. Steve was rarely so cocky, but he guessed he had every right to be in his position for once in their lives.

“Whatever…” He muttered, sliding out of the bar stool to head for his room, head hanging low to avoid Sam’s stares who was just walking into the kitchen as well.

“Hey… what’re you guys talking about, huh?” He grinned, looking after Bucky.

“Nothing!” He snarled before he rushed into his room, hoping he hadn’t spotted the blush on his cheeks he unsuccessfully tried to hide behind the hair falling into his face.

He could only hear laughter coming from the two of them as he slammed his door shut.

.

.

.

Bucky entered the training room, hearing nothing but absolute silence and after looking around for a second, seeing nothing potentially hidden behind the sport equipment, he looked up at the digital clock hanging up on the wall.

Two minutes past ten.

You were never late to your training sessions with him.

Or anything that involved doing something with him for that matter.

But he didn’t have to wait for long before he heard chatter and laughter coming from behind him, right before the doors slid open and revealed you and Sam entering the training room.

Bucky sent him a confused look.

“What’re you doing here?” He asked him and the very second he saw Sam’s shit-eating grin, he knew exactly what he was doing there.

Him and Steve had talked after he had left. About the person entering the room next to him.

“Hey, Bucky!” You said joyfully, stepping forward to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down in a hug and he couldn’t suppress the look of surprise and shock on his face even as Sam was looking right at him.

Bucky didn’t even get the chance to wrap his arms around you like he so desperately wanted to before your warmth and your smell and your presence had left him and you stood before him with a wide smile and big, curious eyes as your hand still resting on his biceps ignited fire on his skin.

A warm and tingling sensation that let his brain shoot out endorphins like his heart would fucking explode from the excitement, feeling it pound rapidly behind his chest.

There was no way on earth she couldn’t hear that…?

“Oh, you look so good like that, Bucky!” You gasped as you saw that he had taken your advice and put his hair in a bun for training, pointing your finger at it.

Good idea because it was constantly hanging in his face, but bad idea because he was starting to feel an oncoming blush wanting to creep itself onto his face. And this time he couldn’t hide behind it.

And Sam’s presence and knowledge of him struggling in this situation wasn’t making this any easier for him to downplay his emotions.

He was like this little devil on his shoulder, a constant reminder of what he was missing out on, pushing him with only his presence or in this case; his goddamn fucking smirk.

Fuck.

“T- Thanks.” He stammered. Sam was pushing him. Not literally but his gaze told a thousand stories… the man was up to something. And he had the strong feeling he wouldn’t like what he was planning on doing.

You pulled back your hand, dangling awkwardly at your sides before you spoke up again.

“I’m… gonna go stretch, okay?” You asked and Bucky only nodded before you went past him, stepping onto the training mat.

Sam spoke up the second you were out of hearing distance.

“Go on now, man.” He urged and they both knew exactly what was going on.

Bucky grunted uncomfortably. His face heated up.

“Leave me alone.” He hissed between clenching teeth. His pulse was quickening.

“Do somethin’ or I will.” He sing-sang quietly and Bucky gulped, feeling fear clogging his throat as he watched you beginning to stretch on the mat, unfortunately not being able to tear his eyes away from your suggestive positions.

“Look, I can’t okay? I don’t know…”

“Hey, (y/n)!” Sam yelled suddenly and hearing his shout so close to his ear made him flinch, his already tensed-up form freezing as his eyes went almost comically wide.

Your head turned towards the two of them as you stood on the mat with your legs apart, bending over to one side of your legs, touching your foot with your fingers.

“Yeah?” You asked, seeing Bucky stare at you strangely. You had never seen his eyes that wide open.

“Robocop over here’s trying to pay you a compliment.”

Bucky was completely red as your eyes landed on him, seeing a smile appear on your face, eyes lighting up at his words.

“Yeah?” You straightened your back, looking at him.

And Sam only shoved him forward because his brain had just completely given up from the pressure, stumbling forward until he stood on the mat as well, mind fighting to find a fitting sentence to force out of his mouth.

“Yeah, y- you…” He stumbled over his words, running a hand over his neck. He could feel Sam’s eyes resting there.

“Nice…” His tongue was pressing against the roof of his mouth. Even his own brain knew better than to speak up around you.

“Moves…?”

He heard Sam sigh behind him in frustration, felt your quizzical gaze upon him as you tilted your head in confusion before he tried to save himself, alarm bells ringing in his head.

“I- I mean, no. Not- Not that, it’s… your… fighting skills…” he stammered, heart trying to escape through his throat.

“You’ve become… good. And good technique, this-” He was referring to your stretching, but thankfully you helped him out of his struggle.

“Thanks, Bucky.” You smiled “You want me to show you?”

“Show what…?” he asked after a second, looking like a lost puppy.

“The stretching…?” You asked back just as confused before Sam, who was still watching this, pretty amused, was chiming in.

“Yes, please! He really needs to loosen up a bit, I mean look at him.”

Bucky growled at him when you didn’t look, but eventually agreed.

“Okay then, just” You started, standing opposite of him.

“Follow my lead.”

You gave him a reassuring nod and he gladly took your advice, being happy he couldn’t possibly humiliate himself any more and just shut up for a while.

God, he hated Sam so much.

“Okay, so- just stand like this.” You stood in front of him. Bucky looked at you curiously and just a little anxiously. You let out a laugh.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Bucky. Just relax. That’s what this is about.” You told him and he took a deep breath before he nodded.

“Okay. We can just start with some jumping jacks.” You said and the minute you said that, Bucky knew this was worse than anything, because as soon as you started jumping, your boobs did, too, and there was little your sports bra could do to hide that.

Bucky swallowed hard, but did as he was told, trying so hard to keep his eyes away from your chest.

After what felt like hours you finally stopped and Bucky blamed the workout for his bright-red cheeks.

“Okay, now just roll your head back a little, loosen your neck a little.” You said and closed your eyes, a small sigh leaving your lips as you rolled your head back, revealing the soft skin of your neck and he could swear that everything you did was completely suggestive because all you were doing only seemed to make him even more tense and… somehow your movements turned him on.

No. Stop it. Not now.

He thought, clenching his eyes shut so that he wouldn’t see this.

So that he could fight off those feelings. The ones damming up in his dick because this could not ever happen. Nope.

“I’ve done this a few minutes ago, but let’s do it again because I think it’s really helpful for when you wanna fight- Sam don’t you want to join us?” You explained, turning to face Sam.

He only stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, eyeing Bucky intensely.

“Nah, I’m good.” He retorted, making Bucky roll his eyes and grumble.

“Fine.” You replied and turned back to face Bucky again.

“So what you can do now is try and touch your toes like that- “

You were standing sideways, bending forward to wrap your hands around your ankles while Bucky only stood there, mouth hanging open as he gaped at your flexibility, mouth going dry instantly.

“And when you do that” You said, not even noticing Bucky wasn’t doing as told “You can put your hands on the ground and try and… kind of crawl forward on your hands.”

And while you did just that, standing in front of Bucky, bent over, back arching and ass very prominently displayed in front of him, he could not bring himself to look away, shoulders tensing up to frame his head, eyes so wide they could positively pop right out of his skull as he spotted the outline of your panties while the leggings stretched so perfectly tight around your asscheeks.

The pleasure piercing through him was like a punch in the gut, making him bend forward slightly with the realization that blood was so quickly rushing down to fill his cock that he legitimately got lightheaded for a second, afraid he’d black out.

He stumbled away from you as he was heading for the exit, embarrassment tinting his entire face a dark red, but Sam was still guarding the door, looking at him with equally wide eyes because he had just figured out what that look of shame on Bucky’s face was.

“Man... are you-? “He looked down at his sweatpants in disbelief but Bucky was quick enough to hide the outline of his dick’s bulge through the fabric, tugging down his shirt hastily.

“Shut up, no. Fuck- shit, let me go!“ He hissed, body on fire due to the shame that was piercing him, skin crawling and his scalp prickling almost painfully.

His dick was pounding fiercely.

“Christ, man…” Sam let out a sound of surprise and a little amusement as he rolled his eyes, but let the poor man pass through the doors.

You looked after him as you finally realized Bucky had left in a hurry, looking back at Sam with a confused look on your face.

He simply shrugged his shoulders, a smirk playing on his lips.

“I think you should go after him.”

.

.

.

“Bucky?” You asked as you jogged after him, only seeing his broad back- bent over to shield the rest of him as he almost sprinted along the hallway, leading towards his room.

“Please don’t go, Bucky.” You begged, reaching out to grab his left biceps, realizing he wouldn’t feel it per se, but it still made him stop dead in his tracks.

“Why aren’t you talking to me?” You whined, trying to catch his gaze, but he continued to turn away from you, hunching over like he was trying to hide something.

Your eyes fell lower, but his hands weren’t holding onto anything and so your gaze turned into confusion before you essentially realized what else he was doing with them.

He had his shirt clutched tightly in his grip, tugging it down to hide something else. Something that caught your attention as it was bulging against the fabric of not only his pants, but his shirt as well.

Your eyes went wide with shock as you stopped dead in your tracks.

“Oh.” The tiniest gasp forced itself through your throat as it closed up, desperately working to swallow down the panic building up there.

There was no way he was actually...?

And as Bucky saw your eyes going wide, the shame punched him in the gut, nausea rising in the pit of his stomach.

His hands slowly went to hold his shaking hands in front of the bulge in his sweatpants. The least he could do after you had seen and realized why he was running away from you. After he had so incredibly inappropriately felt the rush in his bones and the excitement in his veins at the thought of you bending over on that mat for him.

He knew that you knew.

With every passing second your eyes grew wider and that tiny, gasping “oh”, that had left your lips so beautifully had had a different meaning then the one he wanted it to have.

He’d want you to make those sounds for him, sighing and sinking your head into the pillows as the sound left your lips with his name to follow- not as a shocking realization that probably filled you to the brim with disgust as you knew what a twisted fuck he really was.

Why he never could speak to you without stumbling over his phrases, without that look of terror on his face that didn’t tell you much.

But now you knew.

It had always been because of you.

Stumbling over phrases because the sight of you had numbed his tongue. Terror because he was afraid of fucking everything up.

He had that same look in that exact moment, too.

As blood tinted his cheeks red and he gulped down the nervousness having built up there in his throat.

“I- I…” he stuttered anxiously, but you shushed him with a kiss. 

Eyes closed and breathing slow because you were just testing the waters, letting your instinct overtake you as it was now only the slight press of your lips against his frozen ones that had him grow stiff underneath your touch.

Once silence- nothing- the pound of your heart in your ears, the deafening, deafening sound of it pounding its fists against your chest, blood pressure high and nerves on fire where your fingers grazed his burning cheeks.

First there was nothing. And then everything came crashing down at once.

His hand was on your waist as yours was in his hair, pulling closer and gasping breaths into each other’s mouths and clawing at clothes because you needed closer- always closer- as you fell into the safety of his bedroom.

“F- Fuck.” He whimpered as the door shut behind you, the sound faint to his ears. Your sounds were all that mattered.

Your gasping breaths against his lips, your small moans as he gripped your waist harshly… Fucking music to his numbed brain.

He panted against your lips as your equally trembling fingers pushed his shirt up his body, over his quivering abs, before he raised his arms to tear it from his body.

Your eyes were glued to his scar in an instant, but he didn’t feel the urge to cover it up. Strangely, there was no such urge. Nothing that told him that anything about this was remotely wrong. Because, hell… he let out a breathless chuckle as he spotted your smile, warm and full and everything he needed – you could never be wrong.

He felt your smile against his lips as you pulled him down, fingertips gliding over the rough scar tissue, ripping a groan from his chest as your other hand dug nails into his side.

The pain mixed with pleasure and even the slightest touch burned hotly on his skin.

He couldn’t wait to feel all of you against him.

Your shirt came flying off as well as your sports bra and you sunk to the mattress right as he sucked your nipple into his mouth, spine curving as you moaned into the ceiling, raking fingers through his hair to tug at the strands, but it only spurred him on.

He knew this wasn’t wrong, couldn’t be, with you, yet the tension in his body wouldn’t ebb away. The rapid breathing came not from his arousal alone- from you arching your body to press your clothed cunt to his throbbing erection so desperately.

There was also fear. The one fear he always had with you.

Fucking everything up.

And you saw that in his eyes even after his hair had fallen into his face.

His movements had slowed down as he hovered above you, metal and flesh framing your head where his hands rested, but he couldn’t look at you.

Because he was scared.

His body was trembling like a fucking leaf.

So you only kissed him on his lips- very soft and very giving- pouring in everything you had to offer while he sunk into it. Enough to let you roll him over and take the upper hand, straddling his thighs while he could only stare up in wonder.

“You okay?” You whispered as you had moved your hair over one shoulder, leaning down to hover inches above his face, gently stroking your hand over his stubbly cheek.

“Yeah, I- I will be.” He muttered, letting out a small, desperate laugh as his fingers encircled your wrist, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

You shook your head in disbelief, grinning and biting your lip before connecting your mouths once more.

And you had made him brave somehow because suddenly the fear melted away as his arms went around your body, hugging you to him as he opened his mouth for you and your tongue gladly accepted his invitation, tangling with his until you were both breathless.

His hands ran up your thighs, up and down your back to grip your hips and ground you down on his dick and it was that thought that had you moaning against his lips.

You quickly stripped the rest of your clothes, saw him wriggling on the mattress as he struggled to take off his sweats and boxers and you laughed when you came back to frame his hips with your legs again.

“Let me.” You mumbled against his lips and pulled them down his thick thighs before his cock slapped against his stomach to let you admire him in his full glory.

You each took a break from rushing this as you simply stared at each other, skin underneath your palms- yours on his chest and abs, his on your thighs and hips and ass – and you grinned like two idiots as you caught your breaths briefly, loving the feel of having each other right fucking there. So fucking close. And all to only yourselves.

Your hand wandered lower as you watched his throbbing erection, taking it in your hand and eliciting a guttural groan from him, his grip around your waist growing tighter.

You began to jerk him as your breath sped up again, lust blurring your vision of everything else but him as he was writhing beneath you, thighs trembling underneath your ass as he held himself back from thrusting into your hand, feeling his precome already spill over your fingers.

But your upper hand was short-lived when he looked down at you briefly before the hand on your hip had quickly reached down so that his thumb could rub at your swollen clit, making you jerk with the sudden stimulation.

“Shit-” He panted as you threw your head back with pleasure, sitting up to seal his lips over your pulse point and sucking hard on the skin of your throat, and it was that action that had you gripping his member tightly, the vibrations of his moan echoing through your skin, before you lifted your hips and quickly sunk down on him.

His gasp was choked-off, as was yours. Eyes wide and panting for breath as you let the pleasure of his intrusion wash over you, clinging to his shoulders and neck desperately while you caught your breaths.

His grip on you left bruises on your hips and ass, you were sure of that, but the thought alone only made you clench harder around him.

He growled as you did, something very primal that was being switched on in his brain because he was buried balls-deep inside you and there was only one task left to fulfill:

Claim you. Mark you. Make you his.

And he did as his hips suddenly drove themselves off the mattress, one hand gripping the sheets to steady himself while his cold one was splayed on the small of your back, keeping you in place as he began truly fucking you.

All the air left your lungs in a rush, as if punched out, drawing in big, gulping breaths before you could even think of screaming his name, but it only made him go faster.

But not fast enough.

He kept his hand on your back, the other gripping your thigh before he stood up with you in his arms, pressing his mouth to yours as he walked until your back hit the wall and you wrapped your legs around his hips quickly, arms around his neck, before he began pounding into you, driving oxygen out of your lungs and your body into the wall while you could do nothing but writhe and squirm against him.

“Oh, god- fuck, Bucky…” You moaned into his neck, squeezing your eyes shut while all that filled your ears was the sound of skin slapping on skin.

You couldn’t move. You couldn’t fight him off even if you tried. But god, you wouldn’t want to even if your life depended on it.

He had you pinned. Trapped- between the wall and his body. Caged between cement and hard muscle with only his cock to connect your bodies, thrusting in and out of you at a maddening pace.

You could feel yourself beginning to clench down on him as he continued to hit that certain spot that had tears prick at your eyes and had you moaning uncontrollably against his throat while he gripped your ass and thighs hard and just kept going.

Kept your orgasm building up like a dam threatening to overspill and your moans turned high pitched, throwing your head back against the wall with a thump before it crashed over you in waves so ferocious they pulled him right with you.

“Oh, shit, (y/n)- fuck… ugh!” He groaned your name when he came undone, hips stuttering into yours as they drew out your orgasm, spilling inside you until there was nothing left to give.

Your limbs were shaking as you clung to his body, making him chuckle weakly with the realization as he held you closer to him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, voice wavering and still laced with the remaining arousal.

You could simply nod as you let the aftershocks rattle your body.

He kissed your throat lovingly, signaling to place you back onto your feet.

“Perhaps I should call you monkey now instead of doll, no?”

You scoffed, letting out a small moan when he pulled out, feeling his cum trickle down your legs before your feet hit the ground again.

You smiled weakly at him, knees trembling and arms numb as his heavy hand on your hip helped you balance on your feet.

You held onto his arms.

“Don’t you dare.” You huffed, pouting until he was laughing, too, staring down at you with affection in his eyes.

You were both still very naked but you didn’t care a bit as you connected your lips in a kiss once more.

This time slow. And gentle.

You held his face between your hands, pressing your forehead to his as he pulled back slightly.

“I can’t believe this finally happened just because you had a boner.” You shook your head incredulously and his mouth began to form a frown.

“You’re ruining the moment, dear.” He grumbled, making you giggle.

“I mean… there was really not much holding us back. Like I said… just your-“

He shushed you with another kiss on your lips and you could only grin and feel the flutter of your heart as you sunk back into his arms. And perhaps you’d let him take you another one or two times to make up for the forgotten workout session when you realized…

“Hey, uhm-” You mumbled against his lips seductively “How about I show you how to stretch again?”

And at hearing those words leave your lips, his eyes darkened once more, licking his lips as his stirring cock pressed into your skin...

“Can’t fucking wait, doll.”