#you’ve fallen for me

[x-lulu]

heartstrings [ 2011 ] has one of the cutest couples I’ve ever seen, the pure fluff made me giggle out loud in the middle of the night, the angst made me cry and I laughed from happiness. love it when they act like jerks but are secretly the best boyfriends <3

[rystiel]

“pissed me off seeing the doctor suddenly being interested in men and kissing one for the sake of shoving it in our faces. kissing jack was a comedic moment for shock value so it didn’t count as woke pandering.” i’m hitting you with my bare fists

[indiestsnake]

being a shapeshifting creature of the night that mimicks human form is so funny. cuz like. you don’t even have to try

I get up to use the bathroom and forget how to walk. would I really bat an eye at some weird dude stumbling out of the woods like he’s never been human before. would i really

[swordsandspectacles]

You’d like to think you showed nothing on your face.

[nomsfaultau]

(Potentially) Daily ask №5

Philza edition!

Stares at him with a mix of hesitation confusion fear disgust respect and concern, hhhhhh I have some feelings about that guy. I put him off as the last character to get an ask cause I genuinely didn't know much about him and cause I didn't really like him either. But here we go!

I can't tell how powerful he actually is. Because the foundation has these things called reality anchors which it canonically traps the reality bending entities with. And Phil was still walking around freely and was powerful enough to make contracts with. But if the reality anchors didn't work on him cause he's so powerful, why didn't he just, yk, break his collected out immediately?

Does he genuinely not understand how traumatizing is a lot of the lovely murder sprees he goes on are, at least for Tommy from what I've read? Like, yeah he's a god but surely he must've researched psychology enough to understand that it's highly stressful?

Are there any repercussions to using his godly powers? Perhaps that's why he doesn't use them often. Loss of humanity?

Why does he actually cling to his humanity via collecting people? Seems like a very illogical and unproductive thing to do if you don't want to get manipulated or hurt in other ways over it.

..I don't have any gift for him but uh.. 👍 good job keeping them alive, dude?

Thanks! I wrote him to be a very complicated guy. This one will dip into some of the deep lore behind the magic system that isn’t entirely explored in Fault bc well the main characters have more pressing problems.

1 and 4 since theyre impossible to untangle. What scp lore I use is up in the air honestly, but Philza is not a reality bender. The Blood God would count as one, though that’s mostly in the ‘unfortunate accidents’ department, and Wilbur very much is a reality. Well breaker but still. Luckily the Foundation doesnt realize he’s an Apollyon since Wilbur keeps that thing locked down anyway. Creatures like Phil are what I personally call Conceptuals, which are personifications of two ideas. They get a lot of names in Fault tho, since it covers Philza, The Blood God, Wilbur’s voidlings, etc. These entities are not real* in the same way a person is, as they lack a body and usually have to anchor onto a vessel. They are beings purely made of a soul, and thus are more controlled by the components of a soul -Memories, Emotions, Name, Bonds. People and Real things meanwhile are more than their essence, and can do stuff like change, act out of character, and most pertinent to this question, break their promises. A person has a body to anchor them but an unbound soul is compelled to complete it be it a bargain, challenge, vow, pulled along by their Bonds. Voidlings to their bargains, The Blood God to his challengers, so on.

Philza is a special case, because he is an entity so powerful that he made himself Real. That’s not a vessel he’s using like The Blood God; he made himself into an actual person. And because he has made himself Real, unlike every other god/void/entity he technically can break his promises. But he doesn’t, because Bonds with his Collected chain him to personhood (and it would be a crappy ethical dilemma if he doesn’t have an actual choice). Philza is like actually billions of years old, and humanity is a blink to him if he doesn’t force himself to live in the present. He can’t care about everyone because they’re dead so fast, but he can become attached to a very select few to anchor him. It took millions of years to overcome his essence enough to even be fully sapient, let alone feel human enough to become one since his form reflects how he feels. Like imagine trying to get in the head space of an ant so completely that you become one. Without Collected, it’s harder for Phil to maintain his personhood though he can probably manage a couple decades without one. And having fought so hard to be a person, Phil isn’t willing to lose it, since again it took millions of years last time and humanity could be gone by that point. As a person he gets to be so much more than an embodiment of fire and fury, is able to change who he is, has purpose and goals and cares beyond the mindless rage he used to be. He gets to be real, all for the low low price of loving and being loved by others. Who the hell wouldn’t? So Philza would sacrifice anything to maintain the Collected system, his promises, and thus his personhood.

And unfortunately his current Collected are suffering for that long term goal. Philza made the Collected Contract with the Foundation because all his Collected were captured and short of setting the entire world on fire he couldn’t find them. Philza is a very destructive guy, but he adores humanity, so that wasn’t really on the table. So he made a promise to the Foundation, and had to follow it or risk unraveling himself. It’s a slippery slope fallacy, but in eternity once you’ve done something once you’re guaranteed to do it infinite times, or so goes Phil’s logic. In his own words: “Morals are a slippery slope. That’s why I made myself a ledge. A precipice so I can know where I need to stop before I fall entirely.” In his mind to snap even one promise gives him free rein to break the next, and the next, each easier to justify than the last until there really is nothing tethering him to his own sapience. The only tenet Philza has is to keep is promises, because he doesn’t know if he can remain a person otherwise.

He doesn’t break his Collected out. He can’t unless he breaks himself.

2. Philza has no morals because in his opinion an immortal can’t have any; what is considered ethical will only shift out beneath you like sand as society changes. He generally aligns with the ethical framework that his Collected have at the time, and Wilbur and The Blade are pretty fine with murder so he’s lenient on that front currently, whereas with his last Collected he was a clean and proper stay at home roommate, his white picket fence completely free of blood stains…until the Foundation ruined that. Philza personally doesn’t have much care for human lives beyond his Collected given they’re just going to die in not even a century anyway. That isn’t to say he isn’t aware of murder being bad/ traumatizing to some people. In fact, prior to the Foundation Philza and the rest took pains to sanitize themselves for Tommy’s visits, cremating the evidence, burning the blood off their hands, etc. They were being actively hunted down and are trying to protect themselves, but also letting a kid see what that life is fully like, all the fear and violence of it, is messed up. Perhaps they sheltered him too much. Tommy didn’t know how to recognized he was being followed.

Once in the Foundation, Philza is less cautious about it, though technically is committing far less murder due to the Collected Covenent. He’s practically behaving himself. Philza makes two mistakes in the Hallway Massacre: 1. Tommy’s killed like so so many people at that point so he doesn’t think it’s a problem, especially as he’s murdering Foundation workers who have hurt Tommy. 2. Philza thinks the Foundation has broken their promise and so he’s free. Technically he’s correct, but the Foundation lies well enough that he later regards the Hallway massacre as a mistake, mostly for political rather than traumatizing Tommy reasons. Philza views the Foundation as a far greater source of trauma for Tommy, and all the murder was for the purpose of breaking Tommy out and so justified to him.

In truth, Tommy had already caused as much carnage as he saw during the Hallway Massacre by that time, albeit likely in smaller, more spaced out batches. The reason that moment stuck with Tommy so much was because he saw it as the consequences of choices he made rather than something he was forced to do. Moreso, all his time in the Foundation he’d been told they were violent monsters that would slaughter humanity without reason. This directly conflicted with Tommy’s experience of being forced and forcing others to be violent; until, of course, Philza proved the Foundation right.

In Later massacres during the amnestic arc Philza wasn’t aware he even had Collected that could be traumatized, and anyway only Tubbo was really there to see it. Any later murders on Phil’s part are typically in battles. He does recognize that Tommy doesn’t prefer to fight, and honestly Phil prefers that he doesn’t too since Tommy getting captured mid battle is how the whole group got picked off one by one. Tommy tends not to see most of the fighting. Philza recognizes that Tubbo abhors murder and would ideally solve that through smoking them to sleep through battles so they don’t get traumatized via their partial omnipresence. But Tubbo refuses bc of moral principles or whatever, and so Phil can’t minimize much trauma there without acting against their expressed boundaries, and since the majority of his Collected want to fight and he refuses to let them be killed/hurt/captured, murder time it is. Potentially if they were on better terms he’d smoke Tubbo anyway on the grounds that it’s better for their mental health, but Philza feels ant present Tubbo wouldn’t understand he’s ‘acting in their best interest’.

3. One large factor is that it’s very hard to be a mile long dragon inside of a itty bitty room, although much like he pretends to be human Philza is likewise only pretending to be a dragon. And also it’s hard to hug his tiny little mortals when he’s big. Plus while his Collected are immune to his fire, the smoke generated from burning matter can be hazardous unless it’s hot enough to be a complete combustion.

And unless his human form is killed (which takes an awful lot of effort) Philza can only switch forms through reframing his entire mental schema. His inner world controls his body, and switching between believing you’re a human and a dragon is quite difficult, let alone reverting to his uncontrolled true essence which Philza takes great pains not to do. It’s a tricky balance between loosening his self imposed reigns and fully unbridling his self. Too much and he might lose sapience altogether. When feeling untethered to his humanity, he does also become more draconian. Philza finds it easier to go from dragon to human since all that’s doing is adding more chains, and you can’t really go overboard with that. Though it is certainly easier to go between a human and dragon, which are pretty similar if you think about it what with their brains and meat and what not, than between an animal and fire/fury incarnate.

4. Answered above. And yes it is all illogical to some extent, since love rarely is purely rational. But immortality would be hell without other people. Going insane is even less rational, so Philza picks the former.

5. Philza sweeps a bow. It is unclear if it’s sarcastic. He then pulls out a wallet, which upon opening dumps out long rows of photos, and tries to corner you to gush about his kids. He is a dorky dad first and a deplorable threat to society second.

[whisperwillyou]

I wonder if all the people following me for that Noceda siblings art know that they’re signing up to be subjected to my AroAce Hunter agenda lmao

[spoofyleaf]

My toxic trait is telling transphobes, after they find out I’m trans in some way, that I’m AMAB, and watch them fumble. Then tell me all my masculine traits and aggressively use he/him pronouns on me. How how I’m nothing other than a boy. Like teehee

[getyourselfaunicorn]

Ok but I just had the most terrifying ending for Fallen Hero: Retribution so far 😭😭

Crashed as Sidestep and then somehow (still not sure how I did it) jumped back to the Puppet, then saved the main body and decided to watch it for a while. AND IT WOKE UP. IT SAID THE PUPPET’S NAME WTF IS GOING ON AAAAHHHH. Poor Sidestep (stuck in the Puppet’s body) just RAN hahahahahah then crashed in a hotel and THEY COULD STILL HEAR THE OTHER THING. WHATEVER THE HELL IS IN SIDESTEP’S BODY NOW. SAYING TO OBEY AND SUBMIT TO THEM WTF WTF WTF

[wazohoo]

you’re all wrong, Big Milk is the villain of protocol. my source is who gives a shit

[blaze-lightflame]

Happy Halloween! ^^

I got in my costume (Kiki from the movie Kiki’s Delivery Service) and all I have to say, full sized candy bars. And a lot of peanut candy. (which I love)

No that’s not the full post.

But OH ARCHONS THAT BAG WAS HEAVY. (I was carrying my broom in the other hand, or in my other arm. Now the joint in my left arm is sore.)

It was also pretty cold out when I got back home. Didn’t really feel it, but I’m not getting up for a while because ARCHONS MY LEGS (and my left arm; using some hand warmers on the joint). I’m currently eating some Reeses and a small packet of Skittles. Oh, also sneezing. The cold must have gotten to me.

Oh, and Happy Halloween, Genshin. And to everyone here, if you see this…Happy Halloween! Now I’m not getting up for a while. (Can I please get a new spine)

…Albedo…seven more weeks…then you can come home…

[beevean]

As much as we all poke fun at Hector for trusting the obvious shady guy: Between Zead "The thing you're doing? Continue. It will help everyone, in fact!" vs St. Germain "The thing you're doing? Stop. No, I won't explain why". Is it really any wonder Hector listen to Zead instead of St. Germain?

tfw CoD does the "Hector gets manipulated by two people" plot better than NFCV, without turning him into a huge dumbass. Shocking.

But no, really, it makes sense. Isaac deliberately provokes Hector's fury, knowing him well enough that nothing in the world would stop him from getting what he wants. Oh, you renounced your powers given to you by Lord Dracula? Were you trying to feel oh so superior to us, Hector dear? But without them you can't exact your revenge :) oh what a conundrum :) but not to worry, I wrote instructions for you! And you will follow them. You will dance to my tune. What you want is what I want.

Isaac's plan was nothing short of clever. If only he didn't forget that Hector kicked his entire ass while wounded, let alone at the peak of his strength. Oh well.

As for Zead... yeah, it is mostly St. Germain's fault for being so damn cryptic 😂 "Don't take revenge on Isaac." "Why?" "Adios 💖" *vanishes* bruh c'mon try harder. Even his final speech in the Eneomaos Machine Tower doesn't explain a thing. But Zead also, shifty behavior aside, doesn't say anything suspicious. Yes, Isaac could be spreading the Curse. He has the power to do so, if we go by Hector having the power to nullify it. The PtR manga implies that Zead was telling the truth, too. The Curse is in fact ruining people's lives, and getting rid of Isaac would help both Hector and the entirety of Wallachia (not that Hector seems too concerned lol). He is objectively more trustworthy than anyone else who tried to sway Hector to their side, both in the game and in the show.

Maybe the cutscene in the Forest of Jigramunt should have made Hector suspect that something's weird with Zead, especially in Japanese. But I don't blame him for not putting much weight on an out-of-context conversation that only proves that those two are against each other.

also hector demolishes both isaac's and death's sorry asses as soon as he understand that he was played, which proves that you do not mess with him <3

[ishizizzle]

glad I reached the other side of slowly recovering from all of 2020-2022; the loud & active racism, protesting, January 6th, covid, my own personal failings after failings and the realization of how empty and cold and quiet the world just in time to be needed for another election

[fingertipsmp3]

I think one of my wisdom teeth is coming in and like. Can It Not

[wulfhall]

there is no denying the existence of the prince myshkin - aglaya - nastasya - rogozhin polycule

[crossbackpoke-check]

"This extra space next to me belongs to you. I know where I end now. I won't get lost." -- shoot me (metaphorically) and leave me for dead (metaphorically) why won't you. To make this about Dylan and maybe it's about Connor, maybe it's about Brinksy, maybe it's about any journeyman in the NHL. My brain screamed Chris Driedger and his memorable (to me) Players' Tribune article:

And how can you mention Dylan and Zach (Za-ach, the way Dylan says it) without me having a breakdown about them? You simply can't. And for the younger dudes, maybe it's a little Bords/Briss, not yet steady in The Show, a little bit of distance, a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately... and then a blurry insta story in Vegas. Just like old times but somewhere else. Maybe it's not the same bed, maybe it's not the same set of forks, but maybe it's the principle of the thing.

Anyway, goodbye. Sorry for this, your tag walls make me break out in imagined scenarios.

Much love. xxx

please never be sorry for sending me messages <3 i love reading them i love getting them i think they’re beautiful and i love them i’m!!!!! [🥹💕🦋🫧✨💘😭 <- the best approximation of what my heart is doing]

ok NOW i am taking this step by step because every narrative here kicked me straight in the knees (metaphorically) i am w e e p i n g (literally): i knew tangentially about chris driedger going to seattle but i had never read his players’ tribune love letter to seattle & all i can say is oh. oh. and with the part about trains delayed but still being right on time—

sometimes a dream is a truth your heart knows long before you do. the space that the city and the team made for him (“you’d be the only guy on the team”)🗣️🗣️🗣️ !!! but the way that chris talks about needing to put in the work & leo not letting him quit,,, that’s chris filling up the teakettle with twice as much water, crowding one side of the bed (falling asleep against a bus window dreaming), becoming unburdened by the idea of not being their guy, not having the fallback being their draft pick to content and settle himself with. that’s chris betting on a future. that’s the train coming down the tracks, right on time.

(i am feeling unhinged about it)

SECOND. i know i was the one that said zach and dylan to start so technically i brought this on myself but also i have been ktfo by the mere mention of the way that dylan says zach’s name different from everyone else, stealing an extra breath, stealing as much time as he can get with him, which reminded me of a poem i just read:

The Need Is So Great, Jim Moore

^^^dylan still in love with zach even as he’s leaving, can feel himself losing him, and taking every sliver of the love in his smile that he can get. even if he knows zach doesn’t still feel the same way he’s drawing out the long goodbye & saying i love you in a thousand ways without ever saying it out loud (“i have been asking for a time but in ways that have no words” because he doesn’t want to ask too much, to ask for love) in the hope that zach will say it back OKAY I’M LEAVING i can’t do this

that was a lie because THREE. “maybe it’s the principle of the thing” please insert the most ungodly screech how could you just (lovingly) come in straight with the steel chair and bean me upside the head with that l i n e i think this story has the potential for such tragedy in it but also the most tender domestic longing because bords & briss have known each other for a long time (i think) and guys do sometimes lose themselves when they first get to the nhl.

it’s a big scene, you’re with big name guys, you’re finally doing the thing you always dreamed about, you’re no longer necessarily the best because everyone’s the best, you’re not sure how you fit in, you can get lost in the glitz and the glamor of it but you can also literally get lost in it, the slog of the season and getting caught up and down between teams and leagues and endless airports and buses and travel and ice rinks, losing your phone (accidental) and having new people hound you for quotes and fame and connection so you lose your phone (on purpose) and i think where i’m trying to go is: this could play out as the tragedy of borde going to the california coastline and briss shipping off to the vegas strip and both of them getting a little lost.

maybe there’s someone else, maybe i am steadfastly not thinking about “a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately” as either a summer of them pretending things are ok after a year of barely speaking and now being completely different people they never were before OR a summer of them trying to pretend like they can forget about each other because maybe they didn’t think their relationship was the same thing, is all, when they were or weren’t together. maybe it’s nobody’s fault but for the fact that they were scared and tired and lonely trying to make it in the big times and didn’t know how to show it. and then borde shows up with takeout and plastic forks in vegas and it’s december and nothing like winter in ann arbor and still they fill up all the empty spaces in each other with the things they didn’t know they’d miss until they were gone and this is the real thing, not whatever they were trying too hard to be, to recreate their own nostalgia for the love in their memories. it’s the principle of the thing, is all, to always be true to the love they have right now & not what they think it should be.

sorry that i wrote you kind of an essay of an answer but i had so so so many thoughts because your ask was so lovely so thank you for sending it to me (you are always welcome to!! i love your imagined scenarios!!! cannot even explain how much!!!) & thank you for taking the time to read my walls of tags :))) <3

[strohller27]

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