#you’re strong for taking care of yourself

[rizzanon]

Babysitter

a damian wayne and batsis! reader oneshot ft. jon kent | m.list

Summary: your brother forces you to take him and his bestfriend along with you to wherever you’re going

You had a plan. A flawless, well-thought-out, foolproof plan.

Step one: Move quietly.

Step two: Avoid creaky floorboards.

Step three: Do not alert Damian Wayne, resident bloodhound.

You had your hand on the doorknob, your shoes were on.

You had one foot out the door. No one in sight. Freedom just within reach—

“Going somewhere?”

Your whole body froze.

Goddamnit it.

You knew that voice.

You closed your eyes, inhaled sharply through your nose, and prayed to whatever higher power was listening that maybe—just maybe—if you ignored him, he’d disappear.

No such luck.

A second voice, softer but just as damning, followed.

“Uh, I told him we should just let you go, but…”

You sighed. Of course.

With a slow turn, you met the unimpressed stare of Damian Wayne, standing in the dim hallway like the world’s smallest, most judgmental security system. His arms were crossed, his expression far too smug for someone who had no business being awake right now. And right beside him, slightly hunched and looking far too apologetic, was Jon Kent.

You stared at them. They stared back.

Finally, you spoke.

“I knew I should’ve left through the window.”

Jon winced. “Sorry. Again, I did say we should just let you go—”

“But he didn’t,” you deadpanned, shooting a look at Damian.

Damian tilted his head, unbothered. “Because you’re sneaking out.”

You scoffed. “I am not sneaking out—”

“You’re leaving without me. That’s the same thing.”

“It is not—”

“Semantics.”

You groaned louder. “Oh my God, I hate you.”

“Likewise,” Damian said flatly.

Jon, still watching this exchange like a confused referee, hesitantly raised a hand. “I feel like I should stop this.

At the exact same time, without missing a beat, you and Damian both turned to him and snapped—

“You stay out of this.”

Jon immediately took a step back, hands up in surrender. “Ah. Alright.”

You dragged a hand down your face, inhaling slowly before fixing your glare on Damian again.

“So,” you said, voice strained, “what do you want, Damian?”

Damian ignored your question. “Where are you going?”

You deadpanned. “Out.”

“Out where?”

“It’s none of your business.”

Wrong answer.

“Tt. Incorrect. It is my business, because you’re taking us with you.”

You blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me.”

“No, yeah, I heard you. I just don’t think I should have.”

Jon stepped in, looking a little apologetic. “Sorry, he kinda roped me into this,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

You gave him a flat look before turning back to Damian. “And why, exactly, would I do that?”

“To accompany you.”

“Why?”

“You require supervision.”

You stared.

“…I require— Damian, I’m older than you.”

“By an unfortunate number of years, yes.”

You inhaled sharply, clenching your fists. “I don’t need supervision, you little gremlin.”

Jon cleared his throat. “To be fair, I think he means he needs supervision.”

You stared. “You require— Damian, you’re forcing me to babysit you?”

“Tt. Babysit is a strong word.”

“That’s literally what’s happening.”

“I prefer guardian escort.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Yet here we are.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, inhaling deeply before muttering, “Where’s Alfred?”

“Out.”

“Dick?”

“Busy.”

“Tim?”

“Comatose, most likely.”

“Cass?”

“Training.”

“Jason?”

“Wouldn’t care.”

Your eye twitched. “And Dad?”

Damian raised an unimpressed brow.

“…Right,” you muttered.

Jon shot you another apologetic smile. “So, uh… that just leaves you?”

You let your head fall back with a long, suffering groan. “You are not going out with me.”

“And you’re supposed to be grounded.”

“That’s why I’m sneaking out, dipshit.”

There was a brief silence.

Damian let out a long, dramatic sigh, like you were the most exhausting person alive. “You continue to delude yourself if you think you’ll be able to succeed in sneaking out.”

“I hate you.”

Jon cleared his throat. “Um—”

Your expression softened immediately as you turned to him. “Not you, Jon. You’re fine. You’re good. Damian’s the problem.”

Jon blinked. Then, slowly, his lips curled into a tiny, bashful smile, cheeks just a little pink.

“Oh. Uh. Thanks?”

Damian, meanwhile, squinted. “What the hell?”

You ignored him, turning back to Jon. “See? This is how you behave, Damian. Maybe take notes.”

Damian’s scowl deepened. “I am nice.”

You snorted. “To who?”

“To you.” Damian snapped, like it was obvious.

Jon let out a tiny, poorly suppressed laugh.

You shot him a look. “Jon. Don’t encourage him.”

“Sorry,” Jon said, not looking sorry at all.

Damian scoffed. “So where are you even going?”

“Out.”

“Not without us.”

You stared. “No. Absolutely not.”

Damian just blinked.

Jon shuffled a little, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. “I mean… if you don’t want us to come, that’s okay, I guess…”

And there it was.

The puppy-dog eyes.

You winced.

Damn it.

Jon Kent had mastered the art of looking genuinely dejected, and it was so unfair.

You hesitated. Pressed your lips together. “…It’s not that I don’t want you to come, it’s just—”

“Great,” Damian interrupted. “Then let’s go.”

You groaned. “That’s not what I meant—”

“You’re not exactly convincing me otherwise.”

“I will fight you.”

“I will win.”

Jon coughed. “This feels counterproductive.”

You shot him a betrayed look. “Jon. I thought we were friends.”

Jon rubbed the back of his neck. “I do want to go, though…”

Your eye twitched. You knew he was being genuine. But damn, he was dangerously good at making you feel so mean. You sighed heavily, staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers.

“I hate being the responsible one.”

Damian smirked. “Then be irresponsible and take us with you.”

You snapped your head back down to glare at him. “That’s not how this works, moron.”

Jon stifled a laugh.

Damian just tilted his head, completely unfazed. “Yet here we are.”

You clenched your jaw. Closed your eyes. Took a very deep breath.

Then, begrudgingly—

“Fine.”

Jon brightened. “Really?”

You shot him a look. “Not like I have a choice, apparently.”

Damian’s smirk widened, victorious.

“But there are rules.”

You pushed the door open, already regretting everything. “One: No causing trouble. Two: No running off. Three—” You turned sharply to glare at Damian. “No murder.”

Jon blinked. “That has to be a rule?”

You looked at him, dead serious. “You’d be surprised.”

Damian scoffed. “You act as if I lack self-control.”

“You literally tried to stab a man at the grocery store last week.”

“He cut in line.”

“You pulled out a knife, Damian.”

“And?”

Jon looked as if he was used to this.

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “You are literally going to be the death of me.”

“Unlikely,” Damian deadpanned.

Jon patted your arm sympathetically. “It’s okay. Breathe.”

“I don’t want to breathe.”

“Understandable, but necessary.”

Damian scoffed. “Are you done yet?”

“Oh, I’m done,” you muttered, pushing open the door. “So done.”

And with that, you stepped outside, the two boys following close behind.

This was going to be a long day.

The night air was crisp, Gotham’s usual symphony of distant sirens, honking cars, and murmured conversations blending into the background as you walked down the quiet streets. The dim glow of streetlights cast long shadows across the sidewalk, but your focus was on the two boys trailing beside you.

Jon was practically buzzing with excitement, barely able to keep himself from skipping as he shot off rapid-fire questions.

“So, what were you going to do?”

You hummed. “What do you think I was gonna do?”

Jon tilted his head. “Go fight bad guys?”

You chuckled. “Nope.”

“Scout for intel?”

“Nope.”

“Secret mission?”

“Jon,” you laughed, ruffling his hair. “Hold your horses, kid. We’re doing nothing of that sort. Not when I’m around.”

Jon pouted but grinned anyway, adjusting the sleeves of his shirt. “Well, then what are we doing?”

Before you could answer, you caught a glimpse of movement from the corner of your eye.

Damian.

The boy had taken two steps to the side, eyes locked on the nearest alleyway, looking entirely too ready to vanish into the night.

“Oh, hell no.”

You reached out, snagging the back of his hoodie and pulling him to a halt.

“That goes for you too, mister,” you said, voice firm.

Damian let out an audible groan. “Tt.”

Jon blinked, confused. “Uh—what exactly was he about to do?”

“Disappear into the shadows”

Jon turned to Damian, frowning. “Dude.”

Damian merely sniffed, looking vaguely offended at the idea that he of all people needed babysitting. “I was merely about to scout the area for any dangers.”

You gave him a flat look. “We’re on a sidewalk, Damian.”

“And?”

You exhaled sharply. “You are not ditching me.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You were.”

“Tt. You have no proof.”

“I have a brain.”

Jon held up a finger. “Technically, that’s not proof—”

You turned to him, exasperated. “Jon.”

“Right, right, sorry.”

Damian crossed his arms, unimpressed. “So, what are we doing?”

You just smiled.

Luxurious. That was the only word for the place you were in.

Soft, ambient lighting filled the space, casting everything in a warm, golden glow. The gentle sound of water trickling from an ornamental fountain mixed with the low, soothing hum of instrumental music playing from hidden speakers. A faint scent of lavender, eucalyptus, and something faintly citrusy hung in the air, lulling your body into relaxation almost instantly.

You let out a slow sigh, sinking further into the plush lounge chair as the nail technician expertly shaped your nails. Across from you, Jon was already wrapped up in a fluffy white robe, a cooling face mask spread across his skin, and a woman massaging his shoulders. He looked blissful.

Damian, on the other hand, was sitting stiffly in a massage chair, arms crossed, looking like he was being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment. His expression was set into a deep scowl, but you didn’t miss the way his shoulders had started to relax under the therapist’s touch—albeit reluctantly.

You smirked, wiggling your fingers as the technician moved on to buffing your nails. “Well?”

“Tt.”

Damian’s eyes were shut as if that alone could block out his misery. “You dragged us to a spa.”

You grinned. “I treated you to a spa.”

Damian let out another Tt.

You turned to him, amused. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you’re not enjoying this.”

Damian scowled. “I don’t see the point.”

“The point,” you drawled, stretching your legs, “is relaxation.”

“I don’t need relaxation.”

“You literally live with Bruce Wayne. You need it the most.”

Jon let out a snort of laughter.

Damian shot him a glare. “Shut up, Kent.”

Jon just grinned wider, looking far too content. “Nope.”

You chuckled, letting your head fall back against the chair. “Face it, Damian. You like it here.”

“I hate this.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I loathe you.”

You didn’t miss the way his shoulders had slowly started to loosen.

Or the way his scowl wasn’t as deep as before.

“You love me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

Jon let out a happy sigh, sinking deeper into his chair. “I knew you had a good plan.”

You shot him finger guns. “Always do.”

Jon chuckled, then suddenly let out a little noise of contentment as the massage therapist pressed into his shoulders just right. He melted into the chair, the sheer bliss evident on his face.

“Aww,” you cooed, reaching over to gently pat his head. “Look at you, kid. Living the life.”

Jon made a happy little noise in response, fully leaning into the massage.

Damian scowled. “Are you coddling him?”

“Yes,” you said immediately.

Damian scoffed. “Ridiculous.”

You smirked. “Oh, I’m sorry, would you like to be coddled?”

Damian’s entire face twisted into disgust. “Absolutely not.”

You laughed, nudging Jon. “See? He’s jealous.”

Jon barely opened one eye, too relaxed to care. “Yep.”

Damian turned his glare to him now. “Shut up, Kent.”

Jon just smiled. “Just saying the truth, Damian.”

“You wish.”

You stifled a laugh, watching Damian attempt to shrink further into his chair, clearly regretting ever coming along. You were definitely going to remind him of this later.

The spa had been a fantastic idea—well, for you and Jon, at least.

Damian? Not so much.

At first, he acted as if he were enduring actual torture. When they tried to give him a robe, he scowled as if they’d offered him poison. When they led him to the massage chair, he sat down stiffly, arms crossed, eyes darting around as though expecting an assassination attempt. The moment the massage therapist placed their hands on his shoulders, his entire body locked up.

“This is unnecessary,” Damian muttered as you and Jon stifled your laughter.

“Oh, absolutely,” you said, leaning back as a technician buffed your nails. “Completely unnecessary. That’s why you’re staying right there and relaxing.”

“I am always relaxed.”

You and Jon shared a look.

Jon, his face already covered in a cooling mask, turned toward Damian. “Dude, your entire body is clenched like a steel beam.”

“Tt. I am merely prepared.”

“Prepared for what? A surprise attack by the scented candles?” you teased.

Damian glared at you, but then the massage therapist hit a particular spot on his back, and you swore you saw his soul briefly leave his body. His lips parted slightly, eyes fluttering for a split second before he forcibly locked himself down again, pretending nothing had happened.

“Oh my god,” you grinned. “You liked that.”

Damian turned his head away, nose upturned. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

But he did shift ever so slightly to let the massage therapist work deeper into his back. You and Jon exchanged victorious smirks but wisely didn’t comment further.

Well—except for Jon’s quiet, “Told you you’d like it.”

Damian kicked him under the table.

After a tedious amount of time, Damian had finally let himself relax. Not entirely—he was still Damian, after all—but enough that he no longer looked like he wanted to eviscerate someone.

Jon, meanwhile, had been living the dream since the moment you arrived. You’d made sure to book an extensive package for him, complete with a massage, a face mask, a manicure, and even a foot scrub.

The problem?

Jon’s Kryptonian genes.

The poor spa technicians had no idea what they had signed up for.

It started when they tried using a gua sha stone on his face.

The second they dragged the tool across his cheek, there was a horrifying screech—the sound of something hard scraping against something impenetrable.

The esthetician froze, blinking at the gua sha in her hand.

Jon winced. “Uh…”

Then she tried again. More forcefully.

SCCCRRREEEEEEE—

Damian cringed as the sound echoed through the room, making your ears ring. “That is unbearable.”

“I—I don’t think it’s supposed to sound like that,” Jon said weakly.

The esthetician, determined, switched to a jade roller.

The exact same thing happened.

“Okay,” the woman murmured, frowning. “We’ll, uh, circle back to that.”

Then came the body scrub.

Which was supposed to be exfoliating.

Except the scrub was doing nothing.

Jon, ever the polite one, just smiled sheepishly as the technician literally pushed down with all her strength, trying to get some kind of reaction.

“…You don’t feel anything?” she asked, breathless.

“Uh.” Jon paused. “I mean. It’s kinda nice?”

Damian looked deeply entertained. “This is absurd.”

You nudged him. “You’re absurd.”

“Tt.”

Then came the nail buffing.

Oh, the nail buffing.

The technician tasked with filing Jon’s nails was genuinely putting her whole body into it. You could see her arm muscles flexing as she went back and forth, desperately trying to shape his nails with an emery board that had already worn down to nothing.

At one point, she wiped her forehead. “Are you sure you’re not wearing, like… armor?”

Jon laughed nervously. “Nope, this is, uh, all-natural.”

The woman blinked. Then, deciding to just accept that reality was being weird today, simply nodded.

“Alright,” she said. “We’ll… figure something out.”

Jon beamed. “Thanks!”

You patted his head. “Good job, buddy.”

Jon grinned. “I think this is nice.”

And truly, it was. You were finally getting a break, Damian had sort of warmed up to the experience, and Jon was having the time of his life.

It was peaceful.

It was relaxing.

It was exactly what you needed.

So, of course, something had to go wrong.

The peace was shattered by the sound of screaming outside.

Your head snapped toward the spa entrance just in time to see a group of civilians running past in a panic. Then—explosions.

And the unmistakable whir of something mechanical.

You bolted upright.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

Jon was already standing, ripping the robe off and revealing his Superboy costume underneath.

Damian, meanwhile, pulled a full Batman move by seemingly materializing his utility belt and weapons out of nowhere.

Before you could even say anything, the two boys were gone—leaping straight out the spa’s open balcony.

You turned to the wide-eyed spa staff, letting out a long sigh.

“Boys being boys, am I right?” You forced a smile, desperately trying to cover up the awkwardness of the situation. “They’re die-hard fans for action. Can’t help themselves.”

For a brief moment, the room was silent as the estheticians exchanged confused glances.

Then, in the most awkward and abrupt way possible, you scrambled to grab your purse, fumbling around as you threw an absolutely ridiculous sum of cash onto the counter—enough to more than cover the treatments, plus a hefty tip for the staff that definitely deserved more than a little credit for surviving this spa chaos.

The technicians just stared at the money, stunned into silence.

You didn’t stick around for questions.

You bolted after the two boys—still wrapped in your robe, your hair tied up in a towel, and your face mask half-finished.

You were praying—praying—that the day would somehow not end up on the news—though you knew full well that was already a lost cause. But hey, at least you were going to have one heck of a story to tell.

You finally made it to the street corner, and saw Amazo-tech robots rampaging through the streets, blasting apart cars and sending civilians running. Jon was in the air, flying between them, lasers shooting from his eyes as he took them down one by one. Damian was on the ground, expertly maneuvering around, slicing through the robots’ weak points.

You were impressed.

But you were also trying not to yell at the two boys.

Because Damian was still wearing his spa robe over his Robin suit.

And Jon still had his facial mask on.

“Just once,” you muttered to yourself, laughing despite the absurdity. “Just once, I want a normal day out.”

But then again, in Gotham, that was never going to happen.

The Batcave had never felt so… tense. The lights flickered above, casting shadows that seemed to mirror the dark expressions of the adults standing before you. You, Damian, and Jon stood side by side, feeling the weight of their scrutiny.

Bruce was standing at the forefront, arms crossed tightly over his chest, his eyes narrow and calculating. Alfred, behind him, looked as if he were about to take away all your privileges for the rest of your lives. Clark had one hand over his face, clearly trying to stifle an impending headache, while Lois had her fingers pressed to the bridge of her nose, fighting the urge to explode in frustration.

The silence stretched on, suffocating. Then, finally, Bruce spoke, his voice quiet but stern.

“So,” he said, voice level. “Would you care to explain yourselves?”

Before you could even open your mouth—

“It was her idea,” Damian said immediately, pointing at you.

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me—”

He met your glare with a simple, “You were the adult in charge.”

You gaped at him. “Oh, so now I’m the adult?! When I was paying for the spa day, you were more than happy to—”

“Tt.”

“Don’t you ‘Tt’ me, you little shit..!”.”

Bruce let out a long, suffering sigh.

Jon cleared his throat. “It all worked out, though. We saved the day, didn’t we?”

The adults all exchanged a look, their faces unreadable for a moment. Lois then shakes her head and pulled out her phone, tapping something before showing the screen.

It was a photo.

A civilian had snapped a very clear picture of the battle—showing Robin, still in his spa robe, kicking an Amazo-robot in the face while Superboy, face still covered in a facial mask, was mid-air punching another.

It was already trending.

Jon looked at it.

Then, sheepishly, he shrugged.

“…It was nice...?”

Clark just let out a hearty chuckle.

“Well, it’s a memorable way to save Gotham. At least you three enjoyed yourselves.” he said, earning a small chuckle from Lois.

Bruce closed his eyes, clearly questioning his life choices. He rubbed his temples as Lois and Clark just share a look. “….We will discuss this later. Go and get yourselves cleaned up.”

It’s safe to say that your grounding just got a whole lot longer.

i had this as a scene to write for undoing fate but it didn’t quite fit into it as much as i’d like it to so it became a oneshot outside of it instead (completely unrelated to undoing fate but you can imagine it happening between chapter 7-9 when they’re posted lol) but hope you guys enjoyed this 🫶

taglist (open): @k1arar3 @kingshitonly @rainnyydaysworld @ceridwyn3 @darkfaethedestroyer @blueiones @strwberryglass @lithiumval @thephantomdanny @eli-mayhaveatencats @rockyeatrock @dreaming-of-the-reality @shirp-collector-of-fixations @gneepgnorpsneepsnorp @skerbablo @dind1n @gwyneveire @yukixies @kristalag @greantii | ask to be added <3

[bahablastplz]

Battleground: Minho x Reader

Prompt: "Hii, i was wondering in you could write a one shot of alpha!minho x Alpha!afab. They met through their friend/roommate Jisung who is an omega, and they are enemies and Jisung has to break up their fights, but this one time they end up having sex while fighting for dominance." Content: Smut, angst, omegaverse, enemies to lovers, switch/dom Minho, switch reader, alpha reader/alpha Minho, afab!reader WC: 5000 Note: hi yes I got carried away with this but this was super fun to write. enjoy!

˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚

You should have never trusted Jisung. This is often a motto of yours, actually, seeing as he’s responsible for nine out of every ten instances of trouble you find yourself in. But he has big pleading eyes and he can be so convincing that you throw caution to the wind every time he speaks. 

You needed a new roommate. Your old one bailed on you (thank god, because she was actually the worst). She was filthy and never cleaned up after herself. She left dishes in the sink, piles of trash for you to take care of, and was blatantly rude. You let out a sigh of relief when she told you she was moving and it took all of two days for her to fuck off for no apparent reason. She left your life as violently as she entered it, however, leaving piles and piles of her junk for you to take care of as well as half of the rent once again. 

You wish that you could lie and say that you could afford it by yourself but you simply couldn’t. It was just too far out of your spending limits and so… you needed to find a new place to live. 

When Jisung suggested you come to live in his spare bedroom, it really didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. You knew the omega well enough; he wasn’t the cleanest in the world but he’s a step up from your old roommate for sure. Plus he was one of your closest friends. If anything, you knew you would feel comfortable around him. The only reason you had hesitated at first is because everybody always tells you not to live with your friends. Somehow you doubted this would be an issue with Jisung though. 

It would be fine, right? You’ve heard only good things about his other roommate, Minho. Jisung jokingly refers to him as his platonic soulmate sometimes but you don’t really know anything else about him. You were a little weary about sharing a living space with two omegas and all, being an alpha yourself, but you were no asshole alpha. They would have nothing to worry about. 

Once again, you should have never trusted Han Jisung. 

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚

“What are you doing? You’re going to scare her away!” You hear through the door of the apartment. You’re a little unsure when you hear muffled shouting and you feel an uneasiness in your stomach that you ignore but you can’t help to continue to listen. “Why are you acting like you don’t want her here?” 

“Because I don’t. We don’t know her!”

“You don’t know her. I know her perfectly well and you should trust my judgment.” You use this as the opportunity to knock on the door which swings open to a wide-eyed Jisung. He looks guilty of something and you’re confused before it hits you all at once. 

The apartment reeks of cinnamon. Every crevice and corner is dripping of the strong smell to the point you can hardly smell Jisung’s vanilla, even if you really focus. That’s when you come to the realization that Jisung’s roommate isn’t an omega… He’s an alpha. One intentionally covering the whole apartment with his smell before he even gets to know you to assert his dominance. You fight back the urge to roll your eyes at the stereotypical alpha behavior and you resist the urge to cover your nose at the smell. Just because Minho is being rude doesn’t mean you need to be rude in return. 

And before you can even say anything to greet him, he’s walking away and slamming his door shut. You give Jisung a look and he’s already looking at you apologetically. 

“I’m sorry,” he winces. “I really am. He’s not usually like this, I swear. I don’t know what’s going on–” 

“Jisung,” you interrupt. “You never told me he was an alpha in the first place!” 

His mouth opens slightly in a small ‘o’ shape. “I didn’t?” 

You sigh at him and take a deep breath. “Just help me with these boxes, okay?” And as if he’s eager to be back on your good side, he helps you without a fuss. 

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚

It’s two entire days before you even see Minho again. It agitates your own alpha, really, knowing that there’s someone else in your living space you haven’t gotten a proper chance to meet and scope out. But you’ve finally gotten yourself settled into your space and you have to admit it’s nice being so close to Jisung all the time. 

You stumble out of your room after an afternoon nap to find him cooking in the kitchen. It takes you by surprise, honestly, because for someone who has already tried to be so stereotypically alpha, it just seems like a very… omegan activity. You tell yourself it’s not polite to pass judgments on someone you hardly know, especially regarding their secondary gender, so you don’t say a word about it. You do, however, make an attempt to properly introduce yourself.

“Hello,” you say lightly. Minho’s shoulders tense up for a second before they relax. “I’m Y/N.” He doesn’t turn around and he doesn’t say anything. You make a face from behind him, where he can’t see you. What is his deal? You lean against the wall, trying to think of a way to make conversation. If this were anybody else, you wouldn’t bother but… you’re doing this for Jisung, after all. This is supposed to be one of his closest friends aside from you. “How long have you known Jisung for?” you try. 

“Longer than you,” he scoffs. This catches you off guard as you’re not quite sure what to make of the statement. Is he trying to be possessive over the omega or is he just trying to show you that he’s winning whatever competition this is? 

“Oh. How long would that be? I’ve only known him for two years or so, but we’ve grown really close–” Minho finally spins around and you make eye contact for the first time. His harsh gaze is the first thing you really notice about him, his feline eyes sharp as they stare daggers into you. He’s very pretty, you note, and it almost pisses you off even more. How can someone so attractive be such an asshole? 

“You’re not my friend,” he says, pointing a wooden spoon at you threateningly. “This was my space first and you have no right to intrude and try to be buddy-buddy with me. I don’t know you.” His words are blunt, to the point. He turns back around and… god, he’s trying to assert dominance again by shutting you up and ending the conversation here! Better yet, his cinnamon scent spikes and swirls around the room, haunting you. 

You won’t retaliate with your own scent. You’re better than that. But that doesn’t mean you’ll let some alpha think he’s better than you and shut you up without a fight. “Who’s fault is that?” you spit. Minho freezes so you continue. “Who’s fault is it that you don’t know me, hmm? I never asked to be your friend, Minho. But I’m not here to intrude and I’m not here to take over your territory and become the new head-alpha, okay? I’m here because Jisung invited me. I’m here because I need a place to live! Is it really so fucking bad to think that maybe you can be civil with me? Instead you’ve been defensive since the second I walked through that door!” Your anger is spiking and you need to get control of yourself before you explode on him. You turn around and slam your door shut before you can say anymore. 

Once on your bed you fight the urge to punch something. You certainly let yourself get riled up fast. It annoys you that someone you don’t even know has this sort of effect on you. But you close your eyes and will the anger away, telling yourself that maybe, just maybe, it’ll get better. 

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚

It doesn’t get better. It gets a whole lot worse, actually. Your first movie-night in with Jisung you actually get nauseous with how much he reeks of Minho. 

“Jesus, Sung,” you tell him. “It smells like you rolled around with him right before you came into my room.” 

“Sorry,” he says apologetically. It’s so hard to be mad at him. It really is. “He’s been extra clingy lately for some reason.” 

“For some reason,” you grumble. You know exactly why. “He’s trying to intimidate me to stay away from you, probably.” 

“What? Minho would never do that!” he says. You glare at him and he cowers down immediately. “I don’t know what’s going on with him,” he admits. 

“I’m tired of him making me feel like I’m the crazy one here! Everyone I talk to shoots praises out of their ass for him and meanwhile, I’m public enemy number one. I seriously don’t know what his issue is with me and I’m getting sick and tired of everyone telling me what a great person he is!” you rant rather loudly, ending with a great sigh. 

“Have you tried talking to him?” Jisung asks. You feel like you’re going to explode. 

“Yes, I have,” you tell him. “Multiple times. Each one ends in an argument or one of us storming off. I just can’t figure out what his deal is.” 

“Maybe–” 

“Sung, let’s just watch the movie, okay? I’m starting to get irritated and you’re not the one I’m upset with.” 

He concedes and snuggles in a bit closer to you, pressing play on the laptop. If you discreetly try to cover him in your own ginger scent? That’s between you and the moon goddess. 

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You find yourself in the midst of some sort of war and you’re on the losing side. Lee Minho has made it his life mission to inconvenience or irritate you in any way he can. 

Exhibit A: One morning you find yourself running late for class and you open your door just to trip over a conveniently placed pile of his shoes. Cursing his name in your head, you grab your backpack and run out the front door, just narrowly making it in time for the professor to start talking. Fast forward to the end of class when you pull out your folder just to realize that said folder is nowhere to be seen. Your homework which you spent over an hour on the previous night has vanished, gaining you a zero on the assignment. You’re sure you’re seeing red when you get home and your folder is on the kitchen counter.  

“I don’t know what game you think we’re playing, but sabotaging my grades is going too fucking far, Lee!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says as he sips on a cup of coffee. You fight the urge to throw it in his face. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t try to make me late for class and hide my folder!” you say, waving the folder in his face. He looks irritated but it’s no match for how you feel. 

“Your belongings are not my responsibility,” he says with an eye roll. “Next time maybe don’t misplace your stuff.” You leave because you’re not confident in your ability not to punch him. 

Exhibit B: Poor Jisung has tried to set up an apartment movie night. It’s a good idea, in theory, to try to get some supervised bonding. Jisung even sits right in the middle, anxiously picking at his nails the entire movie. That’s only after Minho accuses you of burning the popcorn and fighting with you over which movie to watch. Jisung ends up picking it. It was going well until he stretched his legs out over Jisung’s lap and into your space. You shove his feet off of you faster than he put them up. The action makes him almost fall off the couch and spill his soda all over himself and Jisung. 

The omega stands up covered in soda and huffs. “I give up!” he cries out in exasperation. 

“It’s her fault for pushing me–” 

“Give it a fucking rest!” you cry out. 

Everybody ends up in their respective rooms that night. 

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 You didn’t want to go to this party. You really didn’t but you figured that you owe Jisung big time for turning his apartment into a warzone. The omega already has social anxiety and doesn’t love parties himself so you promised you would tag along. 

Minho is here too. You tell yourself you won’t interact with him but you keep catching his eyes from across the room. Deep down you hope that maybe the alcohol will mellow him down a bit and make him more tolerable. And maybe you use alcohol as a coping mechanism this one night. You’re stressed and a walking ball of tension every second of each day, not even able to relax in your own apartment. 

You always have an eye on Jisung when you party together. But you indulge in some tipsy flirting for once. This guy is super cute, after all… freckled face, long blond hair that frames his face, and a deep, sensual voice that makes you giggle and fawn over him. You amp up the usual techniques, touching his arm and laughing at all of his jokes. And when he leans in close enough that you feel his breath on your neck you don’t stop him. 

But somebody else does. 

One second you're bracing yourself for a drunken kiss and the next a hand is wrapped tightly around your arm, pulling you away. You smell burnt cinnamon before you even realize what happened and the anger that bubbles in your chest is unlike any you’ve ever felt before. You retaliate just as fast with an overwhelming mix of ginger that smells so strong it burns your nose. Before you can yell you’re being pushed out the door and into the cold of the night. 

“What the fuck was that,” you spit at Minho. You yank your arm out of his grip. 

“We’re leaving,” he tells you. 

“Like hell we are! You don’t get a say of who I spend my time with or when I decide to leave.” 

“I get a say when you’re making idiotic choices,” he answers, voice low. He spins you around until you’re pinned against the wall and his skin burns hot against yours. 

“No, you don’t. You’ve made yourself loud and clear that you don’t give a fuck about me. My bad choices are mine to make, Minho, not yours.” 

“You’re not thinking straight,” he tells you once he finally lets go. He looks like he’s trying to convince himself more than you. “Felix… he’s… I know him from my dance studio, okay? Just.. trust me and don’t go home with him. You can’t kiss him. Not Felix.”

“From your dance studio? Wow, ladies and gentlemen! Lee Minho has revealed exactly one thing about himself! He’s a dancer!” you say with mock surprise. You stumble a bit and Minho steadies you by your waist. It only serves to piss you off even more. 

“Let’s go home, yeah?” he asks. It’s probably the softest you’ve ever heard his voice yet. 

“No. I think I’m going to go kiss Felix and you can go fuck off,” you protest. You cross your arms and you look away from him because his cheeks are also flushed from drinking and he worries his lips between his teeth so you can’t stand to see it. 

He takes a deep breath. “Y/N, I swear to god you’re going to walk home with me or I’ll throw you over my shoulder and bring you home myself.”

Before you snap back at him about how ridiculous he’s being, the door opens and Jisung steps out. “Guys?” he questions, looking back and forth between the two of you. You’re breathing heavily and your fists are clenched but your anger dissipates the second you see the disappointed look on Jisung’s face. He wanted you here to keep him company. To soothe his social anxiety and to prove that you could be there for him, to show up for him like old time’s sake. And just like that, the adrenaline high slowly fades when you realize you’ve let him down. Anger turns to sorrow and guilt and god, no you won’t let Minho see you cry but you bury your face into Jisung’s neck. You whisper an apology and tell him you want to go home. 

You can’t help but feel like Minho has won this round, in some roundabout twisted way. 

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You avoid leaving your room for the next day. You don’t really feel like you’re deserving of wallowing in your own sorrow, especially since the one who is impacted here is Jisung, not you. You’ve let him down. You don’t get to mope. So… what you’re doing is avoiding. Avoiding Minho and therefore avoiding any more conflict. 

It’s the next day you leave your room. You notice the scent of vanilla a little more sweet than normal and when you knock on Jisung’s door you notice he’s nesting. A mixture of your clothes and Minho’s are piled in his bed and you feel a pang of guilt in your chest. 

“You okay?” you ask. If Jisung is in preheat and you’ve avoided him for the past 24 hours, he’s probably feeling pretty antsy. He does let out a breath of relief when he sees you though and brings you in for a hug. 

But of course your timing is unfortunate because Minho unlocks the front door at that very moment. When he sees you in Jisung’s arms he growls, causing you and the omega to stiffen. Minho crosses the room in seconds and the smell of cinnamon behind you gets stronger. 

“Off,” he says low into your ear. You have half the mind to snap at him but Jisung’s vanilla scent burns. You back off, giving Jisung a small nod before disappearing to your room. The last thing you want to do is distress Jisung further just before he starts his heat. This needs to stop. It needs to end. 

Jisung leaves the next day to spend his heat in a hotel. Despite the apartment being more comfortable for him, the unit isn’t equipped to deal with the overwhelming scent of heats and ruts. You couldn’t afford a scent complaint fee. Jisung doesn’t complain as you help him pack his bags and you even help him into the hotel room. You offer your best support in helping him rebuild his nest though you don’t have the same omegan instincts as he does. 

“I’m sorry again,” you tell him before you leave. “For everything. With Minho. It’s… we’ll work it out. Okay? Love you Sung.” 

He gives you a sad smile. His heat should start by the morning, you would guess. You just hope he can be comfortable and not worry too much about you and Minho. 

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚

Minho is standing anxiously by the door when you get home. You half expect him to crowd you against the wall but he doesn’t, eyes glued to the floor instead. 

“You smell like him,” he tells you. 

“Yes Minho,” you reply sarcastically. “It’s like I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time. Jisung is my friend too. You don’t have to act all possessive of him all the time.” 

He hums. You feel your blood boil again. How does he get you so worked up to the point of your heart pumping a mile a minute every time you see him? 

“Minho. Be honest,” you start. He finally looks up at you. You can’t read his face. Your alpha goes back and forth between wanting to pounce on him and run away in fear. You need to do what you think is right. “Do you want me to move out?” 

You aren’t expecting his reaction. You expect him to laugh in your face. You expect him to be overjoyed. But instead he seems shocked. 

“What?” 

“What do you mean what? Don’t act like this isn’t what you wanted from the very beginning. You win, okay? I concede. You want your space? You want to be the only alpha again? This is it. This is your opportunity. I’m offering you a way out now. No more fighting. No more upsetting Jisung. If you want me gone, just say the word. Please. I’ll leave.” 

“Don’t.” 

“What?” You almost think you’ve misheard him but he takes a step closer and he looks at you with pleading eyes. “What is your gameplan then? Why make me miserable since the second I move in? Argue with me, tell me who I can and can’t kiss, for god’s sake make me fail a fucking assignment? If you don’t want me fucking gone, Minho, what the fuck do you want–” 

You’re cut off by his lips clashing against yours so hard your head would have hit your head against the wall if not for Minho’s hands holding you as if you’re something precious. Your teeth clank together but you’re breathing him in and reciprocating his affection just as violently as he gives it. When his tongue enters your mouth and you taste cinnamon you realize you’ve never hated the smell, never hated him… He kisses into you like he needs you to breathe, like he’s been in the desert and you’re his oasis. 

You’re not sure that a kiss has ever felt like this before. You think for a moment that you might not be able to kiss anyone again after this, everyone and everything lacklustre compared to Minho. Minho. Minho. Nobody has ever and will ever make you feel this burning, boiling… hatred? lust? desire? Whatever it is you feel, you’re not sure it could be replicated. 

When you wrap your leg around his waist he grabs under your knee, hoisting you against the wall. His mouth is all over you and he explores every inch of your mouth, your neck, your collarbone. Your hands take purchase on his shoulders, in his hair, you’re not sure but you want to feel every inch of him there is to explore. Cinnamon has never smelled so sweet.

Minho brings you into his bedroom and it’s the first time you’ve stepped foot into his space but you don’t take the time to look around. In fact, the only thing you notice is that his comforter is soft, soft against your back as he throws you onto his bed. Your clothes are all but shredded from your body and if you had claws you would have used them to get every inch of useless fabric off of Lee Minho’s body. It makes you angry that he’s still clothed, so angry that you forgo pleasure in replacement of ripping the clothes off of him harshly. He grins. He has that smug fucking grin on his face you want to wipe off and you kiss his stupid lips again. This time when you kiss you’re both completely naked and every part of your body that touches his is scalding. 

When you sit on his lap your bare pussy slides along his cock and you both groan. His hands are on your hips and in desperation you both move back and forth. Every time his cock catches on your entrance you both let out a hitched breath but neither of you can stop. 

“Fuck. I’m gonna knot you, you know that? I’m gonna fuck you so full and then knot you so that everybody knows you’re mine,” he pants as he ruts his cock against you desperately. Is this just another way for him to stake his claim over you? To show that he’s the true alpha? Oh hell no.

“You’re such an asshole,” you tell him with a hiss when he finally slides into you. He’s big. You already knew this from the (not so) dry humping just moments ago but it still pisses you off when he stretches you nice and full. “Stupid asshole alpha with a stupid big cock.” 

When he looks up at you it’s with adoration and it throws you off. His eyes gleam and his teeth are caught against his bottom lip in a sultry grin. He plants his feet against his bed and thrusts up into you hard and fast–you almost fall because you have no time to plant your hands anywhere for balance. But the almighty perfect Minho catches you before you fall because of course he does. His hands on your waist only hold you in place to give him the opportunity to fuck up into you with more force and the wet sounds that come from between your bodies are filthy… but only serves to turn you on even more. 

“You were saying about me being an asshole?” he asks. His voice is breathy and low and you fucking hate how much you love it. 

“If all you wanted was to fuck me this bad you didn’t have to act like such a dick,” you say through tight lips. Okay. You’re trying not to moan, to give him that satisfaction. Who could blame you? “You only made me hate you more.” 

“Fuck,” he says, throwing his head back. “It wasn’t on purpose… didn’t like you at first but all of a sudden it turned to lust and… can’t you feel what you do to me?” He punctuates his point with a harsh thrust and fuck, you vaguely remember him mentioning he was a dancer. Perfect body, perfect hips and thighs made just to fuck you like this. 

“How you treated me wasn’t fair,” you tell him. You need him to know and you’re lowering your hips, trapping your legs under his so he can’t bounce you up and down on his cock anymore. Your hand snakes up to his throat and takes purchase there, watching the way he gulps and his eyes turn heavy at the action. You feel a burning satisfaction at the way his hips buck into you involuntarily when you squeeze slightly. “Say it,” you coo. “I want to hear you admit to me that you know you treated me poorly.” 

You expect a fight from him because, let’s be honest, Minho always puts up a fight with you. But any ounce of opposition leaves his body the second his eyes meet yours. He looks regretful. He looks small. “I treated you poorly,” he tells you. His eyes never leave yours. “I acted like a child because I had feelings for you that were misplaced. I liked you from the beginning and I… fuck, I didn’t know how to deal with that and I pushed you away. I wanted you to hate me.” 

The confession that spills past his lips is the last thing you’re expecting him to say. Your grip on his neck falters and he uses his stupidly impressive core strength to sit up, bringing your lips into a kiss. It isn’t explosive, it isn’t word-changing, but it is sweet and apologetic and very Minho. 

He places you on your back and resumes his pace, bringing your legs up to rest on his shoulders. At this angle he reaches deep inside you and the first time you gasp he resumes his brutal, relentless pace. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna knot you, please let me knot this pretty pussy,” he pleads. The first time he said it it was a demand; this time he asks from his soul, baring it to you and giving you ample time and opportunity to reject it. 

“Yes,” you moan. But if he’s going to claim you as his from the inside out, the least you could do is return the favor. And so you scratch Minho, raking your nails down his back until they’re sure to leave a mark. And when you’re both on the precipice you bite down onto his shoulder hard, just inches away from his scent gland. It’s not a mating bite but it is a mark, a claim. You suck hard into the bite just as he finishes, his knot expanding and catching on your entrance. You don’t release your mouth from his skin until he’s done pulsing inside you but to your surprise, he doesn’t stop moving his hips. Despite his knot locking you in place he grinds his hips into yours in small circles, putting pressure right onto your clit with his pubic bone. It’s too much, the stimulation of your clit, his knot, and the thick head of his cock hitting that spot deep inside you causing you to cum around him hard with a cry. 

You feel as if you’ve been electrocuted, little shocks going through your whole body with every wave of your orgasm. You almost wish he was bad in bed, if just to keep your dignity and tell him that he wasn’t all that. But with the gutteral noises he dispelled from your body, lying would just be a farce. 

When you’ve both finally calmed down and his knot finally deflates, you half expect him to kick you out of his room. You’ve built up your walls so high around him that it’s hard to imagine him treating you any other way. You’re anxious for sure, moreso at yourself for allowing yourself to be so hopeful. But Minho rolls over and grabs you, holding you close to his chest. Even when you squirm he doesn’t dare to let you go. 

“I really am sorry,” he tells you. A murmur into your hair. “I don’t want you to move out. I’m sorry for treating you the way I did. My alpha thought… that because we like you that maybe asserting our dominance would make you like us more. I know that’s illogical and just sounds  like an excuse but…” 

“I forgive you,” you tell him. “Well… maybe I don’t forgive you just yet. But I can if you prove to me that you’re done with the macho asshole alpha act. No more being possessive over Jisung. My friend by the way! Still haven’t gotten over that. And no more sabotaging my grades.” You shoot him a glare and he only looks at you sheepishly. Harsh looks turn into soft stares and all of a sudden he’s kissing you again. Your tension has already begun to melt away. You begin to see the charm of the Lee Minho everybody has told you about and you think, maybe… just maybe everything will be okay now. 

“I think we owe Jisung a gift,” Minho whispers into your hair. 

“I think we owe him a hundred gifts,” you wince. 

“He’s not going to believe his fucking mind when he gets back.” You laugh so hard your stomach begins to hurt. You think maybe you like the way Minho looks when he smiles. You think maybe you really like the way cinnamon and ginger smell together. You think maybe you could get used to kissing Minho and that burning, bubbly feeling in your stomach agrees. 

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[astrolook]

Sun in the houses:

Let's see what happens how sun behaves in all these houses, both positive and negative. Mind you that every planet in any house or sign can exhibit both positive and negative traits and can manifest in a person.

Sun in 1st House: I’m not saying I’m the center of the universe, but... I kinda am. 🌞🌍

You just get leadership. You don’t have to try; it’s in your blood. If afflicted, your leadership style might feel more like "dictatorship." You’re so sure of yourself that others don’t get a chance to voice their opinions.

Your positivity and belief in yourself make others think, “If they can do it, I can too!”. If Sun is afflicted, it can come off as "I'm better than you" rather than "I believe in myself."

You’re the life of the party! Your energy lifts the room and makes everyone feel involved. If afflicted, you might crave attention to the point where you overshadow others.

You set big goals, and you achieve them. There’s no stopping you once your mind is made up. If afflicted, friends and colleagues can feel like you’re so busy chasing success that you forget to check in on them.

Your dad probably instilled in you a sense of pride and self-worth that shaped who you are. If afflicted, your dad could be too demanding or proud of you, it can create some serious pressure. You might feel like you’re living for his approval rather than your own dreams, and that can lead to overcompensating or burning out.

Sun in the 2nd House: Money talks, but my self-worth yells! 💸🌟

You have a strong sense of self-worth, often tied to personal achievements. You know your value. If afflicted, You might tie your entire identity to material success, feeling inadequate or worthless without financial stability or possessions.

You are ambitious, striving to build financial security. Hard work often pays off. If afflicted, your financial instability may lead to insecurity or even an unhealthy obsession with money. You may be overly materialistic.

You’re usually careful with your resources but if afflicted, you could be prone to overspending or hoarding, unable to find a balanced approach to finances.

A father figure can be a source of inspiration and a role model in financial matters and work ethics. If afflicted, it could bring inheritance issues or you may feel that you never live up to his expectations.

Can exhibit workaholic tendencies, sacrificing personal happiness or family life for financial gain or status.

You have the potential to rise above financial challenges, but if afflicted, you could experience deep feelings of insecurity or even shame when you don't meet your own or others’ material expectations, possibly leading to cycles of self-doubt.

You might view love through the lens of material gestures or gifts, making it difficult to connect emotionally or romantically.

Sun in the 3rd House: Your ideas are shining bright, but good luck getting people to stop talking long enough to hear them!

You’re a natural communicator, your words carry weight. If afflicted, you might dominate conversations or struggle with listening, sometimes coming off as self-centered or dismissive of others' perspectives.

Close, possibly authoritative, relationship with siblings; they could be supportive, or you may take on a leadership role in your family. If afflicted, Conflicts with siblings or feeling misunderstood could arise, leading to tension and rivalry, sometimes even to the point of no contact.

Quick-witted and sharp but also can struggle with overthinking, becoming mentally scattered or overwhelmed by too many ideas at once.

You could excel as a teacher or mentor. If afflicted, a tendency to lecture or impose your ideas on others.

Enjoys frequent short trips. On the flip side, Travel may be more about running away from stress or distractions rather than meaningful exploration, leaving you feeling unsettled.

You naturally build connections with people in your immediate environment, making you very social and approachable. If afflicted, can come off as superficial or too eager to network.

You have a great sense of humor and can use wit to win people over in conversations. If afflicted, might use humor as a defense mechanism or to hide insecurities, sometimes crossing boundaries or coming across as insensitive.

Sun in the 4th House: Home is where your heart—and your ego—are, and good luck moving past your childhood room!

You deeply value your home and family, often finding identity in your roots and personal space. Sometimes, it can lead to clinging to the past or feeling stuck in old patterns.

Your self-esteem may become too tied to your home life, making you feel insecure or restless if things at home are unstable.

You may have a strong, nurturing relationship with your mother or a motherly figure, who plays a central role in your life. If afflicted, A dominant or overbearing mother could lead to conflicts or struggles with your own sense of self.

You have a deep appreciation for your heritage and traditions. If afflicted, You may be too focused on the past, unable to move forward or let go of old family patterns or unresolved issues.

You may find comfort and strength in your private life, but sometimes a strong need for privacy might lead to isolation or difficulty expressing yourself outside of your home or family setting.

Sun in the 5th House: You’re not just good at playing games—you’re good at being the star of them!

You have a strong need to express yourself creatively, often excelling in arts, hobbies, or self-expression. If afflicted, Can become too focused on being admired for your creativity, leading to vanity or insecurity when not recognized.

Life is a playground for you; you seek joy, excitement, and adventure in everything you do, but if afflicted, may seek too much pleasure, becoming careless or irresponsible, neglecting other important aspects of life.

You approach romance with confidence and passion but sometimes you might crave validation through romantic relationships, leading to drama or superficial connections.

If you become a parent, you’re likely to take pride in raising children and may have a natural ability to nurture and inspire them. If afflicted, can become overly focused on impressing your children or living through them, putting too much pressure on them or on yourself.

You are willing to take risks for excitement but on the flip side, A penchant for risk-taking could lead to reckless behavior or impulsive decisions, sometimes causing unnecessary harm to yourself or others and regrets.

Sun in the 6th House: You’re the go-to person for work, health, and making sure everything runs smoothly—unless you’re burnt out, of course!

You take pride in your work and have a strong sense of responsibility. You’re highly dedicated and reliable. If afflicted, it could be overburdening yourself with tasks and potentially leading to burnout.

You find fulfillment in helping others and often take on service-oriented roles where you can make a difference. Sometimes, you might feel taken for granted or unappreciated, especially if you put others' needs before your own, leading to frustration.

You are often very conscious of maintaining good health but sometimes you could become obsessed with health routines, leading to anxiety about perfection or overemphasis on minor health concerns.

You feel fulfilled by supporting or mentoring others, often excelling in roles that require service or care. You might struggle with self-worth if your efforts aren't appreciated or recognized, leading to resentment.

You possess strong mental and physical discipline and you may become overly critical of yourself or others if things don’t meet your high standards.

You’re excellent at identifying and solving problems but over-thinking or obsessing over problems can lead to anxiety or difficulty seeing the bigger picture, getting stuck in the minutiae.

Sun in the 7th House: You love being in the spotlight of relationships—just make sure you're not shining too brightly for your partner!

You thrive in close relationships and find your identity through your connections with others. If afflicted, you may become overly dependent on a partner for validation, losing sight of your individuality or putting too much pressure on the relationship.

You may take pride in your role as a partner or spouse and often invest deeply in committed relationships. If afflicted, You could place too much importance on marriage or partnerships, potentially attracting bad partners that are either possessive or just use you.

Your relationship with your father can have a significant impact on your views of partnerships. If your father was distant or authoritative, you may unconsciously seek partners who resemble him, leading to issues with power dynamics or unfulfilled needs.

You excel in negotiating and finding common ground in relationships but you may avoid confrontation or sacrifice your own needs to keep the peace, leading to resentment or unresolved issues.

Sun in the 8th House: You don’t just like to dive deep, you want to see what’s under the surface—and no, we’re not talking about the fridge!

You experience emotions deeply, with a strong ability to connect to others on an intimate level. beware, intense emotions can lead to emotional highs and lows, making it difficult to find balance or feel stable in your personal life.

You are fascinated by the unknown, with a natural curiosity about life’s deeper meanings, psychology, and even the occult. You may become obsessed with uncovering secrets, and sometimes, this can lead to unhealthy fixation or paranoia about what’s hidden.

You’re often able to emerge stronger from crises or difficult experiences but also you may become addicted to chaos or dramatic transformations, seeking out crises for the sense of power or transformation they bring.

You have an innate understanding of life's cyclical nature, and you often feel comfortable with the idea of death, allowing you to live more fully. This connection can turn into a preoccupation with mortality, possibly manifesting as anxiety or unhealthy fears surrounding death or loss.

If afflicted, a troubled relationship with your father, possibly marked by power struggles or emotional distance, could lead to unresolved issues or feelings of inadequacy that carry over into your relationships.

Sun in the 9th House: You're on a never-ending quest for truth, knowledge, and adventure—basically, a cosmic tourist with a PhD!

You are drawn to big ideas, philosophy, spirituality, and have a strong sense of purpose, often inspired by a higher calling or ideal. If the ideal is unattainable or unrealistic, you might feel disillusioned or disconnected from reality, leading to frustration or unrealistic expectations.

Travel, especially abroad, opens your mind and helps you grow as a person. If afflicted, leads to a feeling of being ungrounded or dissatisfied if you're unable to travel or explore as much as you’d like.

You might even study or work abroad. Your family could have mixed races.

You enjoy being a guide, especially when it comes to life’s big questions. If afflicted, can exhibit a tendency to be overly preachy or self-righteous could alienate others.

Sun in the 10th House: The spotlight is yours! You were born to be on stage—just don’t forget to thank your fans (or, you know, your boss)!

You’re highly motivated to achieve your professional goals and to be recognized for your efforts. If afflicted, you may become overly focused on career achievement, neglecting personal life or burning out from putting all your energy into work.

You care deeply about your reputation and public image, working hard to project a successful, competent, and reliable image. If afflicted, an excessive focus on public perception might lead to superficiality, a tendency to prioritize appearances over substance, or anxiety about how others view you.

Your career goals often play a significant role in shaping your sense of self. Achieving professional milestones boosts your confidence and sense of purpose. If your career is the only way you define yourself, failure or setbacks in your work life may cause a loss of self-worth or personal identity.

Your work is a vehicle for self-expression. You want your career to reflect your true talents and individuality. If your work doesn't align with your authentic self, you may feel you're not being true to who you are.

Your father may serve as a strong role model for career success, influencing your own professional aspirations and ambitions. If your relationship with your father was strained or critical, you may feel like you’re constantly trying to meet his expectations or prove yourself, which could cause you to chase success for the wrong reasons.

Sun in the 11th House: You’re the lonely butterfly with a mission— dreaming of changing the world one connection at a time!

You're that introvert in the extroverted setting. You could be surrounded by people all the time and still feel lonely. You prefer a one-to-one connection than a group setting.

You may become disillusioned or frustrated with the slow pace of change or people who don't share your level of commitment to causes, which could make you feel isolated or unsupported.

You likely to adopt kids or maybe you are the adopted kid. There is a possibility of having a step-father or divorced parent.

You're not one to conform easily and prefer to stay true to your unique self, even in social settings. Definitely, not a sheep.

You like to talk with strangers online and loves to spend time online. If afflicted, chronically online.

Sun in the 12th House: The spotlight is on you, but you’re hiding in the shadows—awkwardly shining in silence and doing some serious soul-searching!

You have a deep connection to your subconscious mind, offering insight into hidden aspects of yourself. This connection can bring about significant personal growth and spiritual awakening.

Could have had a relationship or a fling with a professor or teacher of some sort. Or was it just a crush?

You could shine by moving to other countries for studies or even work. You might feel like you don't belong here.

You could be working in a hospital, programmer, researcher, or just any "behind-the-scenes" jobs.

Have a tendency to avoid the spotlight. You might won't even show your face on social media.

Your father could be distant or could be that he is not there for you.

[cutehoons02]

Strawberry with chocolate

Valentine's Day with Jungwon

*pairing: loser Jungwon x fem reader

*trope: cat energy vs black cat energy

*synopsis: February 14th was nothing special for you but for Jungwon, instead, it’s just another perfect excuse to tease you: You and Jungwon weren’t together but you had something that neither of us could understand but when he shows up at your door after training, with still wet hair and a mysterious package in their hands, their evening might take an unexpected turn. Between jokes and stolen touches, the evening turns into a game of strawberries and chocolate, started for fun but has become more and more dangerous,+18

*tags: A lot of funny,love to tease each other, Jungwon is seriously lost for the protagonist, tension, the protagonist pretends to be shy and not want to deal with Jungwon, perverts, possession, chocolate games on the body, kisses, sucking, masturbation (f. receives) unprotected sex (don’t horny ppl) pet names (noona,blondie girl,good girl) (wonie) fluffy moments, love statement,have 1/2 year difference

(English is not my native language)

6.5k (🍓🍫)

It was Valentine’s Day, and you were staring at your phone for the umpteenth time, biting the inside of your cheek. You weren’t together, not officially at least, and yet Jungwon insisted on coming to see you that night; Jungwon made you go crazy from the first time you met him 6 months ago and every time he saw you, he always had that nice little boy mixed up with someone who was causing trouble.

Is it just another one of his provocations? You thought aloud and put your hand through your blond hair, trying to distract yourself, but the anxiety was gripping your stomach.

You were prepared with light makeup because you did not want to show Jungwon that you wanted to impress him and you wore comfortable jeans and a sweatshirt with a zip that you wrapped perfectly the curves of your body, not that you cared to make a good figure with him. Just... a little.

The doorbell rang suddenly, making you jump. With a deep breath, you approached the door and opened it, ready to say something or tell one of your jokes, but you did not have time.

A hot body crashed into you, two strong arms wrapped around you without hesitation, and a head scented with vanilla shampoo and moist locks of hair stuck in your neck.

"Jungwon," You said laughing but also slightly puzzled by those attentions. He knew you were slightly cold to the physical touch, but Jungwon didn’t seem to care.

«Mm.» His voice sounded kneaded against your skin. He squeezed even more as if he wanted to melt it with himself. His wet hair was sticking to his forehead, leaving little drops on his sweatshirt and you felt his strong arms holding you even closer to his warm body.

"You’re all wet." You tried to move away, but Jungwon made a disgruntled sound and squeezed you even more.

«Noona...» he called you in a sweet tone, then just stopped to look at you with a clever smirk. «I missed you?»

You raised an eyebrow. "Why would I miss you? I saw you at work less than two hours ago!"

He stared at you for a second before laughing quietly. «You are so mean to me. Yet» he paused dramatically «you always let me hug you.» You snorted and you said in a low voice: "If you tried to run, you’d still get me."

Jungwon tilted his head, with that smug cat look. «Exactly.»

You sighed, pretending to surrender against his arms. "Why are you here, Won?" you said against his chest.

«Because it’s Valentine’s Day.»

"So what?" You looked up because you hated that day

He smiled, caressing your hair distractedly. «And so... I came to claim my Blondie Girl.»

Your heart lost a beat to his words. "I am not yours," you said, inspiring the sweet scent that emanated from the boy in front of you, Jungwon looked at you with a challenging flash in his eyes and then, with a quick move, grabbed your chin and brought his face so close to hers that his breath touched your lips.

«For a little longer,» he said, winking at you, you brought him in, and as soon as he crossed the threshold you noticed that behind him there was a parcel. It was not huge, but big enough to arouse curiosity and you tried to ignore your curiosity, but your gaze lingered on it for a few seconds too long and Jungwon, of course, noticed it immediately.

«Why don’t you ask me what’s inside?» asked with his usual funny smile, he knew you were as curious as he was but saw you move away from him and enter the room. " It’s not important," you said, pretending not to be curious.

He raised an eyebrow and laughed. «Aren’t you curious?»

"Not at all."

He burst out laughing and you didn’t want to admit it but you loved that laugh from the first moment you heard it for the first time and you wanted to hear it forever, especially for yourself. «Noona, you are terrible.»

Jungwon threw himself on the couch without much ceremony as if it were his home and sank into the pillows; you watched him shake his still-wet hair, leaving a few drops on the fabric of the sofa and he noticed that you were watching him and gave you a mischievous look.

«Where are your roommates?» He asked, stretching out like a lazy cat you saw the shirt slightly rise and you saw the ridges of his muscles but you looked away immediately.

"Valentine’s Day." you simply replied, sitting on the armrest of the sofa. "Some are celebrating with their boyfriends in some fancy restaurant and others are partying and getting drunk."

Jungwon nodded slowly, then turned to you with a thinkingly thoughtful look. «You should find yourself a boyfriend too, then.» He said smiling and rolling your eyes. "Oh, stop it."

He smiled amused, then reached out a hand and gently grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you towards him with a steady movement, and before you could protest, you found yourself sitting on his legs, his arms wrapped around the waist of your body and his face approached your neck, and he breathed slowly, with a satisfied sigh. He looked like a kitten cuddling in his favorite place.

«I like your perfume,» he murmured, his voice a little lower than usual and you flashed your eyes, trying to ignore the fast beat in your chest.

"Jungwon," you said with a whisper of voice.

«Open the gift.» He interrupted you, just squeezing you and you leaned back slightly to look at his face: His smile was always there, but in his eyes today there was something different, something more serious.

«It’s for you,» he repeated, you felt a little embarrassed by the position and tried to slip away and sit next to him on the couch,

But Jungwon slightly tightened the grip on your crop’s waist.

«On my legs,» he ordered in a whimsical tone, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and you puffed softly, but did not insist. You knew that, if you tried to run away, he would simply catch you with his satisfied grin and feel his fingers touch your side and tremble slightly, but you forced yourself to concentrate on the package in your hands.

Carefully, you untied the tape and lifted the lid. As soon as you saw the contents, a smile instinctively formed on your lips.

They were LEGO flowers to build together, to be precise. You sunflower towards Jungwon, surprise, but he came even closer, his warm breath on your ear.

«I didn’t make it in time to go and get some real flowers...» he whispered, with a hint of displeasure in his voice. «So I thought we could put them together. And they would be yours forever.»

You remained silent for a few seconds, holding the package in your hands, and then, without thinking too much, you hugged him and felt his body relax against yours and, after a moment, his low laugh tickled your ear.

«Noona...» he muttered in a funny voice. «I didn’t think that gifts were enough to get free hugs.»

You leaned slightly to look at his face. His eyes shone with sincere joy, and the smile he gave you was the most beautiful you had seen that night. Then, with an air of sneaky, he added: «I will fill you with gifts from now on!»

You burst out laughing and hit him softly on the shoulder. «Stop it, Wonie. I don’t need to be filled with gifts to hug you»

He bowed his head, looking at you with that piercing look. «Then give me another hug and maybe I’ll think about it.» You looked at him suspiciously, but in the end, you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck again.

«Good girl»

You were sitting on the living room carpet, and you and Jungwon were immersed in building your own LEGO flowers. Or rather, you tried to build with precision, while he found every possible excuse to distract you.

"Jungwon, stop it!" you slammed for the third time, giving him a small push on his shoulder.

«What have I done now?» asked the innocent one, but with that clever little smile on his lips you struck him with your gaze. "You tried to put a rose on my head instead of sticking it to the stem."

«I was just checking to see if it looked good on you.»

"You were just looking for an excuse to touch me."

He chuckled, resting his chin on one hand as he looked at me. «What if it were so?»

You focused on the instructions, trying to ignore them, but the truth was that you too were distracted more than necessary. Now and then you found yourself staring at his hands, large and tapered, which with surprising precision wedged the bricks. Or did you notice his biceps, which-holy heavens-were growing bigger and bigger? When did he put on all those muscles?

Focus, focus, Y/n! You told me mentally.

After about forty minutes, when the composition was finally taking shape, you suddenly got up.

«Ok, now it’s my turn to give you a little gift but it will never be like this of the roses.» you declare.

Jungwon looked at you with curiosity, trying to get up too.

"No." you stopped him immediately, pointing a finger at him. "You stay here."

He tilted his head, amused. «And if I don’t want?»

"Then you won’t have my surprise."

That detail seemed to convince him, even if his eyes were lit with curiosity. You walked away to the kitchen, trying to move fast, but you knew very well that it would only be a matter of time before... right?

You felt his footsteps behind you and, a moment later, Jungwon leaned on your back, putting his head on your shoulder.

«Noona...» muttered languidly, her warm breath upon your skin.

"You really can’t stand still, huh?" you sighed, even though a smile had escaped you.

But he no longer listened to you because his eyes were fixed on the bowl of strawberries and melted chocolate that I had prepared.

He remained silent for a few seconds, then breathed an almost ecstatic sigh.

«Noona,» he repeated in a completely different, almost revealing tone. «Do you have any idea what you are preparing?»

You hold back a laugh. "Should I?"

He barely stepped aside, looking at me with shining eyes. «Strawberries and chocolate are my greatest passion.» You turned slightly towards him, enjoy. "I know." Jungwon stared at you for a moment, then slowly held out his hand towards the bowl and you slapped him on the back before he could grab anything. "Wait a minute."

«But noona!» he complained, sulking.

You burst out laughing. "You’re such a spoiled kitten." He did not deny it, but his eyes were glued to the chocolate as if it was the most precious thing in the world and at that point, you realized that you had no hope: everything would end up in his hands in a few minutes.

Jungwon enthusiastically took the bowls of melted chocolate and strawberries and brought them to the table in front of the sofa, with the same excitement as a child who had just given his favorite sweet.

You sat next to him, but you did not make time to relax you heard him snort slowly and you turned towards him, finding him with the theatrical expression of an offended cat.

"What now?" you asked, pretending not to understand.

He crossed his arms. «Why didn’t you sit on my legs?» You raised your eyes to the sky. "Because I can feel fine sitting here too."

Jungwon sighed as if you had just broken his heart, but instead of complaining further, he came even closer, until he stuck to my side.

«Then I will stay here.» he declared, with a satisfied smirk, and shook his head laughing and took a strawberry, dipping it in chocolate.

He did the same, but after the first bite, his gaze turned to you with a mischievous flash and stared at your lips and you already knew it was going to tease you.

«Noona, have you ever wondered why strawberries with chocolate are considered the perfect food for Valentine’s Day?»

You looked at him suspiciously. "I don’t know, maybe because they’re sweet and romantic?"

He shook his head, biting another strawberry. «No, it’s because they are sensual.» You almost choked on my piece of strawberry and watched it with your mouth open, God knew that it was not innocent but not even at this level of audacity..."Excuse me?!"

Jungwon chuckled, pleased with your reaction. «Think of how they are eaten. They dip slowly into the chocolate...» He took a strawberry and did it, exaggerating with the gesture. «They are brought to the mouth with delicacy...» and bit it slowly, looking at you with a much too amused expression.

You cover your face with one hand. "You’re impossible."

He laughed, putting his chin on your shoulder. «Come on, admit that I am adorable,» he said

"Adorable? Annoying, rather," you said crossing your arms

«Yet you are still here.» You couldn’t fight back and finally smiled and shook your head, returning to eat but then, while you were distracted picking another strawberry, Jungwon suddenly stopped staring at you with glowing eyes.

«Noona...» he said softly.

"Hm?" you said looking at him as you ate your strawberry, he tilted his head, squinting as if he was considering something. «You got dirty.» You raised an eyebrow. "Where?" you said with a finger on his lips but he approached slowly, his hand lifted towards your face and his finger just touched the corner of your lower lip, and for a moment you thought it was going to clean you but instead... You felt the warmth of his lips on your skin.

A soft and unexpected touch, followed by something even bolder___his tongue just touched the corner of your mouth, picking up chocolate and your heart jumped a beat because his eyes would not stop bursting your lips and you did not react in time that Jungwon moved a few millimeters, watching you with a dangerously charming smile.

«Mh... good.» whispered to the top of your lips and your breath stuck in your throat then, without even giving you time to process, came closer again, this time taking completely your lips with hers.

The kiss was slow, sweet at first, almost a taste, as if it wanted to give you time to get used to the contact but then, feeling that you did not go away became more sure. His fingers went up your cheek, and his lips moved with natural confidence, without haste, but with an intensity that made you tremble slightly and feel him smile against your mouth as if he had gotten exactly what he wanted. His hands leaned on your hips and pushed you slightly on the couch, your back leaned completely and he began to kiss you this time more passionately and when it broke off, his eyes shone with fun mixed with something else, something deeper than that.

«Blondie Girl...» he murmured, his thumb touching your lower lip. «I’ve been thinking of nothing but kissing you since I came in.» you were speechless, your heart pounding in my chest and Jungwon bowed his head with a smug smirk. «So? Want another?»

You didn’t answer. But, this time you were the one who approached him, hearing his words and seeing that brazen smile on his lips, something inside of you lit up, so you took him by the collar of the shirt and drew him towards you, opening your lips to kiss him again.

This time, the kiss was no longer shy or hesitant. It was deeper, more sensual, charged with an energy that seemed to pulsate between you.

His lips moved against yours with overwhelming confidence, and the sweet taste of chocolate mixed with the slightly sour note of strawberry, created something intoxicating, something that made you want to stick together.

You felt his hands hold your waist, pulling you even closer, and a shiver crossed your back as the kiss became more intense, almost possessive. Jungwon wasn’t just kissing you-he seemed to want to claim you.

When you finally took your breath away, he stood a few inches from you, his warm breath against your lips, and his eyes were darker, veiled by something you had never seen before.

Then, in a low and husky voice, I muttered: «Noona... do you trust me?»

His question made your eyes slightly open. Trust? It wasn’t that you were doubting him, but his tone, the way he looked at you, let you know he was going to do something that would change the atmosphere between you.

Swallowing, but in the end, you nodded slowly and that was all he needed.

In an instant, Jungwon made you lie on the big couch with almost disconcerting ease, and your breath stopped for surprise. His hands slipped down your hips as he settled you comfortably, and then, with a slow and deliberate gesture, slid the zip of your sweatshirt down, leaving the skin on your neck and collarbones exposed for him alone.

«The perfect...» he whispered, peering at the exposed part of your neck with an intent-filled gaze and saw him reach out a hand towards the still-warm chocolate bowl, and your body twitched slightly as you noticed what he was about to do.

"Jungwon," you said whispering.

Before you could finish the sentence, you felt the liquid heat of some chocolate drops slipping on your skin and a shiver passed through your back and bit your lip in an attempt to hold back a reaction and not moan.

Jungwon tilted his head, looking at me with a satisfied smile.

«Did you shudder, noona? You’re so adorable when you try to resist me, but I know you can’t,» he murmured, his silky voice charged with mischief and opened your mouth to answer, but before you could say anything, you felt his lips touch your skin just where the chocolate had settled.

The first kiss was light, almost innocent but then you felt his tongue picking up the chocolate with a slow and studied movement at the base of your lobe and your breath became shorter.

«You taste sweet...» he whispered against your skin, leaving you another kiss a little further down. «But I already knew that.»

His warm breath mixed with the contrast of the chocolate cooling on your skin, creating a feeling that gave you goosebumps.

«You know, Blondie Girl...» he continued, leaving another kiss on your neck. «I wondered for a while how you would taste.»

Your heart skipped a beat, God what had you been thinking of preparing those strawberries with that melted chocolate?

"Jungwon!" you rebuked him, but your voice had no conviction.

He chuckled softly, lifting his head slightly to look you in the eye.

«What’s the matter?» he asked, pretending to be innocent. «I’m just doing my cat duty...» He bent down again and left you another kiss, this time longer and more marked. «If you get dirty, I have to lick the chocolate off, don’t I?»

Closed your eyes, trying not to succumb to the sensations of those soft lips on your skin.

«Mh... noona, you taste dangerous.» He whispered, leaving you one last kiss on the collarbone before rising and positioning himself again above you.

His eyes were gleaming with fun, but also something deeper, he could not take his eyes off you and maybe you already knew that it would ruin you soon.

«I should get you dirty more often,» he concluded, biting his lip with a smug smirk. Jungwon looked at you from above, his eyes dark and bright, his chest rising and falling slightly for the accelerated breath. There was no trace of his usual mischievous boy there was something deeper in his features, something that made you tremble almost more than the warmth you still felt on your skin.

He lowered himself slowly, his face a few inches from yours. Then, with that voice that always made you shiver and ge murmured against your lips:

«Can I... do it anywhere, please noona?»

Your stomach squeezed. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, but instead of looking away, you lost yourself in his eyes. There was something in the way he looked at you, a kind of adoration mixed with pure desire that made you feel safer than you ever imagined. Swallowing and yearling slowly, almost without noticing it Jungwon smiled, a smile more sweet than usual, but with that spark of mischief that never missed.

«Good girl.» whispered, and the tone with which he said it gave you goosebumps before you could say anything his hands slipped slowly on your waist, and in a fluid gesture took off your sweatshirt, leaving you alone with your bra and he stopped for a moment, looking at you with a look that made me hold my breath.

«Wow... all for me» he murmured, almost for himself.

You felt yourself blushing. «Stop looking at me like that.» You protested in a low voice. He smiled, tilting his head as his fingers gently touched your skin. «I can’t help it,» he said, his voice full of sincerity. «You are beautiful.»

He looked down at you and then nibbled on his lip. «I would say perfect.» His finger slid along your side, slowly. «Made just for me.»

Your heart was pounding in your chest, and before I could answer, he took the bowl with the chocolate still hot and just lifted it.

"Jungwon, what"

You felt the heat of the chocolate gliding slowly over your skin, starting from the neck, going down the collarbone to the center of your chest, reaching your breast, and drawing a warm line that made you shiver and whisper slightly at contact, and you felt it laugh softly.

«So reactive...» he muttered, stooping down immediately afterward to touch you with his lips.

The first kiss was gentle, almost innocent, as he picked up with his tongue a drop that had fallen just below the collarbone, then left another one, this time a little more marked, followed by a slight pressure of the teeth on your skin. You whispered again, and he smiled at me.

«I like this part of you,» he said, leaving another kiss along your breast. «The one that you miss for me.»

You felt more drops slip on the skin, lower this time near your breast

"Jungwon, I..." Whispering as you felt him lick you and tease the bud of your breast and pulled his hair still wet and he looked up slightly. «Tell me, Blondie Girl.»

The nickname sounded even more intimate at that time.

«You’re... you’re overdoing it.» You murmured, even though your body seemed to say otherwise and he bowed his head, the usual dangerous smirk on his lips.

«Really? It doesn’t seem like your body is telling me to stop, and your nipples are hard and I bet you’re excited down there!»

He didn’t even give you time to answer before lowering himself again, continuing to trace a path with his mouth along your body, picking up the chocolate that he had poured just before, But this time he went down closer and closer to your navel and groaned his name because it was all too much.

Now and then he would stop to chew you softly, to whisper a few comments in my ear.

«You are even sweeter so...»

«You know I could do this all night, right?»

«Who knows if chocolate would have the same effect on me...»

Every word, every kiss, every touch made you feel more and more lost, more and more his.

When he reached his navel and left a last light kiss on the skin, he lifted again, her face a few inches from yours.

«You know, Blondie Girl...» he murmured, brushing your lip with her thumb. «The more time passes, the more I realize something.»

Swallowing, trying to calm the heartbeat. "what?" you said with innocent action and he smiled even more.

«The more I try to play with you... the more you drive me crazy.» Jungwon looked at you with those bright eyes, full of desire but also fun, his chest rising and lowering slightly as he took a breath. Until that moment, it had always been him to lead the game, to provoke you, to make you lose control but this time it was you who wanted to drive him crazy, and with a decisive movement, you pushed him back, making him lie on the couch below you.

«Oh...» he said, surprised. «Noona is taking the lead?»

You ignored him, hands already on his shirt. You pulled it up slowly, discovering the warm skin and, the tense muscles under it. When you finally took it off completely, you stopped for a moment to observe him.

Jungwon leaned on his elbows, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

«Do you like what you see, Blondie Girl?»

Bite your lower lip, and have fun. He knew perfectly well that his body was perfect, that every line of his sculpted abs looked like it had been made to be admired. But you would never have given him that satisfaction so easily.

"Mh... you’re cute," you said in a deliberately uncaring tone, taking a strawberry from the tray next to us.

«Cute?!» he repeated, pretending to be offended.

You did not answer and slowly approached, holding the strawberry between your fingers, and with a gentle gesture you brought it to his lips and he raised an eyebrow but did not hesitate to open his mouth.

While he bit, his lips touched for a moment your fingers, and a shiver passed through your back, waiting for him to swallow before you lowered yourself and kissed him softly, your lips touching each other gently, still steeped in the sweet and slightly tart taste of strawberry and when you broke off, whispered against her lips:

«You were right... the contrast between strawberry and chocolate is deadly.»

He smiled his warm breath against my skin. «Especially on your lips.»

You were a little soft on those words, but you couldn’t let him take control so easily.

«Let’s see how long you last, Jungwon.» You murmured, taking the chocolate bowl and lifting it over him and his eyes widened slightly.

«Noona... wait a minute.»

You ignored his warning and slowly slipped a few drops along the sculpted line of his abs. The contrast between his warm skin and warm chocolate made him release a little involuntary moan, and you saw his muscles twitch under you and smile satisfied.

"Oh? Our little Wonie is sensitive?» you mocked him, tilting his head as your fingers brushed the chocolate on his skin.

He squinted and puffed. «Tsk... don’t think you’re in control, Blondie Girl.»

You lowered your head and kissed him right in the middle of your chest, picking up the chocolate with your lips. His breath became heavier, and when you came down with another kiss, he twitched slightly and you chuckled softly, barely lifting your eyes.

«You are moving too much.» you rebuked him softly.

Jungwon gave you a defiant look. «It’s not my fault that you decided to torture me.»

"Torture? Isn’t that what you just did to me?" you repeated, pretending to be surprised. "I thought you were fine."

«I’m too well, and that’s the problem,» he murmured, biting his lip.

You felt his abdomen twitch again beneath you as you left another kiss trail down her skin.

«Mh... Noona.» he did, his voice slightly hoarse.

You stopped and looked at him innocently. "Yes?"

Jungwon closed his eyes for a moment, as if he was trying to maintain control, then opened them again and looked at you with a provocative grin.

«You’re driving me crazy,» he whispered. You approached his face, your noses almost touching each other. "Perfect," you said softly and Jungwon stood up slowly, then lifted slightly, sliding his hands down your hips but you gave him a stern look and took his hands into the couch and you climbed over his body again and started kissing them, Bite and torture from the crests of his muscles to get under his navel and saw a slight trail of small hairs and you couldn’t wait to hear and see what that boy was hiding. You licked and tortured that area and heard your name moaning and Jungwon said

«You are dangerous.» you started to laugh and you looked at him a moment with your hands close to the edge of his joggers and he nodded to let you know that you could take them off and when you did it you saw his V-line and his boxers brand and his dick covered that was already hard only thanks to you, you tried to put your hands in the edge of his boxers but with ease, Jungwon put you under him.

«Y/n, I would go crazy if you sucked my dick but today is Valentine’s Day and you girls are the center of attention so let me make you feel good, there will be other opportunities» You lured him to you for a brief kiss and after a while, he slipped your pants and a perverted smile formed on his lips.

«Fuck noona, you were so shy but you have a fucking outfit of Victoria's Secret matched and the only one who came to your house today was me»

You saw Jungwon lick her lips and your cheeks turned red as you saw how she looked at you.

"it’s just a coincidence," Jungwon started laughing and pinched your hips «Don’t lie to me Y/n, you can even admit that you were worried about making a good impression with me!» You raised your eyes to the sky and you felt shivering when you heard that her middle finger was poking at your soaked panties where there was your clitoris still covered.

«God, you’re already so wet» Jungwon took off your panties and with his wandering hand moved towards your core, using two of his long fingers to open you up, gaining more access before moving against your hole. The moan you let out didn’t go unnoticed by Jungwon, it exerted more pressure on your clitoris and one of his fingers started pumping inside you, reaching the depth of your knuckles as he started pushing in and out.

"Oh, God, Won, just like that," You said as you felt the boy almost crouching to give you pleasure, you felt his tufts of hair make you slightly sunny and pulled them out and from all that stimulation, You didn’t realize he’d added a second finger until he started stretching you even further, pumping your fingers ever thicker. Jungwon felt as if it could come simply from the feeling of your walls that were squeezing around him and when he saw you almost coming he lowered his head, brushing your folds with his tongue to lick your entrance like a kitten, Burying his face in your pussy while sucking hear you blatering.

"Jungwon, I’m coming..." he teases you and licks all your slimy cum out of his fingers and your core.

«Fuck, I think the top 3 things they love are: chocolate in your body, the flavor mixed between strawberries and chocolate in our languages, and the taste of your excitement» he laughed putting his hands on your face because it was too cheeky at that moment, Jungwon took your hands and removed them from your face and gave you a little kiss on the forehead.

"So at the beginning of the evening, you said that I would be yours, you still want me to be your Jungwon."

«God you are a temptation to all the effects noona, sure of wanting to become mine because I could become very much territorial with you»

"I like territorial boys, Jungwon!" You undressed his boxer shorts and holy shit his dick was nicer than any you had ever seen, the tip slightly red from the blood flowing. Jungwon sucked it up a bit and before entering gave you a little lip kiss «Ready noona?» Yearning to hear it around you, his lips met yours as he slowly pushed against your narrow walls, swallowing all the sweet sounds you made. A choked thrill came out of your open lips when it hit bottom, «I can not yet move noona strong.» Jungwon moaned as you huddled around him, your blurry eyes trying their best to focus on him and his ruffled hair, but every little movement of his hips made you feel like heaven.

However, the fact that he remained motionless only made your burning need worse and you needed him to move. Moving your hips, a choked moan came out of your lips as your hand wrapped around his biceps.

"Move. God, please move Jungwon. I need you" Suffocated, head falling backwards against the pillows as he kissed your neck.

«So impatient, but who am I to deny all this? I have been dreaming of this moment for months» He chuckled before pushing himself inside you.

The first shot of his cock against your walls was like paradise, but when he saw that you were able to take it more and more his rhythm became anything but delicate; at each push, its tip kissed your cervix, leaving you a wretched mess.

"Wonie!" You shouted his name when he moved just enough to touch your weak point, leaving that small tears to come down your face. Your nails stuck in his biceps as you tried to root, but it was useless; he was just fucking you too well.

«Fuck noona, look how deep they are. After tonight, you won’t be satisfied with anything but me» He moaned as he freed your side to grab your wrist before pressing it against your lower abdomen.

You felt the outline of his cock against your stomach, but when he pressed, a choking groan ripped from your lips. The pressure made you feel even more him as he fucked you and you didn’t understand anything anymore, it was all too much but Jungwon seemed to know very well what to do with your body and moved his hand down until his thumb pressed against your clitoris, Thrusting your hips in his grip.

A series of groans and broken tears came out of your lips as his rhythm increased.

"W-Won, fuck! I’m close, Jungwon!" You screamed, the hand wrapped around his wrist as you felt that spiral in the pit of your stomach tighten.

«Come for me, darling. Mess with my cock.» His words were the last drop before the edges of your sight became white and your body contracted under his.

«That’s it, give me everything.» He spoke but was interrupted by a groan when you clenched around him like a vice.

His breaths began to come out with difficulty as he fucked you through your orgasm and closer to his. The grip of his hand on your hips would certainly have left marks, but neither of you cared at that time.

«Fuck noona, I’m sick!» he chanted, his whole body trembling as he came, painting your walls white with his seed. Slowing to a halt, he lay down against you, face buried in your neck as you both came down from your heights and he embraced you.

Jungwon held you close to him, his chest warm against your back, while his fingers drew slow circles on my side. Now and then he’d give you a little tap, just to make you shudder.

"Will you stop tormenting me?" you protested, trying to move.

«NO,» he answered immediately, squeezing even more, you snorted, but could not help smiling. His breath was slightly irregular, indicating that he too was still a little shaken by everything that had happened. But of course, as a good Jungwon, he would never admit it.

Stand like that for a few seconds, in that relaxing silence, until you feel him breathing deeply, as if he was going to say something important.

«Noona...» he murmured.

"Mh?" you replied distractedly, still with your eyes closed. He came a little closer to your ear, the voice so low and sweet that it almost gave you shivers.

«Would you like to be my girlfriend?» You froze for a second, then burst out laughing.

«What’s so funny?» he moaned. You turned slightly to look at him, finding his dark and careful eyes pointed at you. "Jungwon, but do you realize how cliché it is to ask me on Valentine’s Day?"

He bowed his head, pretending to be confused. «So?»

"So no!" you said, laughing again. "Too obvious, too romantic, too movie-like."

«Ah, I understand.» he nodded, pretending to think. «If I ask you today it’s not okay. And if I ask you tomorrow?»

"Mh... much better." Jungwon stood up quietly and pinched your side. «Then it’s decided: on February 15th and tomorrow you will become my official girlfriend.»

"Oh? Who said I would say yes?» He looked at you with an offended expression. «Noona, after all that we went through tonight do you still have doubts about me?»

"Mh... maybe I’m just keeping your attention level up," you replied with a mischievous smile.

He stared at you for a moment, then came even closer, his lips barely touching my cheek. «Don’t worry, blonde girl,» he whispered. «You have my full attention.»

You leaned back slightly, trying not to blush too much. «That’s it.»

Jungwon smiled satisfied and gave you a slight bite on the shoulder. «Then let’s make things clear: on February 15 you become mine. End of discussion.»

"But how end of the discussion?" you burst out laughing. "Where is my right to speak?"

«You lost it when you decided to drive me crazy all the time and ask me before you make mine,» he replied with a dangerous smirk.

You looked at him as if you were indignant. "You know that you are just unbearable?" He nodded as if it was the greatest compliment. «It is. But you like me that way.»

You snorted, but you both knew that you would never deny that truth.

You remained silent for a few seconds, then he murmured: «You know what it means, right?»

"What?"

«That our anniversary will be the day after Valentine’s Day.»

You thought about it for a moment, then sighed. "Fantastic... we’ll be condemned to double dinners, double gifts, and double sweetness every year."

Jungwon laughs. «Exactly. Do you like my genius? And don’t forget my birthday!»

You stared at him for a second, then let yourself go in a smile. "Yes... I have to admit that this time you had a good idea."

He lit up. «So you agree to make the 15th of February our day?»

You sighed theatrically. "All right, all right. But only because I don’t want to be engaged on a day like today." Jungwon squeezed you even more, making a little satisfied noise, like a cat that has just been cuddled.

«Noona... you are a rare case.»

"And you are impossible."

«I know it.»

You smiled at each other, no need to say more. Because even if you didn’t say it openly, you both knew what you felt for each other.

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[seijorhi]

Bite

Selkie Miya Osamu x female reader

tw: blood and gore, yandere, hard vore (not reader), noncon, nsfw-ish

Fairy & Rhi's Big Bad Valentines Event ~ Here there be monsters

“Are you ever going to come in?”

Kana shrugs, hunched over on the edge of the pier, knees pulled to her chest. She doesn’t look at you when she speaks – her attention’s wholly fixed on the male figure lazily gliding through the water a few feet away. “I’m good here.”

Slate-brown eyes peer back, flitting between you. Appraising you both. 

A twitch of his lips and he ducks below the surface. Kana stiffens, but you, you know this game. Like a bullet, he shoots his lean, streamlined body towards you, mouth open wide, sharp teeth bared – your heart stutters instinctively, breath caught in your chest – only to divert at the last second, curling to loop around. 

Not for the first time, you reach a hand out as he glides past, let your fingers stroke along the soft, spotted fur of his tail. Softer than it has any right to be. You shiver, a smile lighting your face, and in turn you’re rewarded with a trilling warble as he circles you again and rises to the surface, this time belly up, one arm stretched back behind his head, the other resting over his pale stomach – an oddly human pose. 

“Leopard seals have killed humans before, I googled it,” your cousin says. “They’re dangerous and aggressive. The smart thing to do would be to leave it and give him a wide berth, not play together in the ocean like it’s a dolphin at SeaWorld.”

He glides closer, nudging himself against you and grabbing your hand in his to place it on his belly, just above his fur. 

“One, he’s not a leopard seal, and two, it’s been over a week, don’t you think that if felt threatened by us or wanted to attack, he would’ve by now?” A light nip at your shoulder and you laugh, snatching your hand back. “Osamu’s friendly.”

Kana’s eyes narrow, sparking with irritation. “Just because you gave it a name, doesn’t make it human,” she mutters, like she thinks you’re an idiot. “We don’t know enough for you to be making any kind of a judgement call over whether it’s docile or not. I just don’t want you getting hurt. Animals turn on people all the time.”

“He’s not an animal.” But it’s pointless, because you’ve had this talk before. She’ll tell you you’re being reckless and stupid, you’ll tell her she’s being a buzzkill. “And Samu’s a he, not an it. I think he’s beautiful.”

As if he can understand you, his chest rumbles in agreement, chuffing. You fight back a grin. 

From the navel up, he could pass for human. A lithe, lean torso. Hooded, dark eyes that glimmer with intelligence, a strong jaw. Silvery-brown hair that matches the sleek fur on the top-side of his tail. Even his teeth, too sharp and jagged, breaking the illusion when he grins, send a strange sort of thrill through you. He’s always careful with them when you play – nipping, never biting. 

“We should at the very least tell someone,” she scowls, rolling her eyes.

You won’t, though, and she knows that. They’d hunt him down and take him away, lock him up somewhere to study, never to swim free again, and if they somehow don’t manage to catch him, you can’t imagine he’ll ever come back. Selfishly, you don’t want that either. 

“Kana–”

But you don’t get more than that before his hand snares your wrist and you’re yanked underwater.

The world turns hazy blue, a burst of bubbles – a cry of surprise – rushing from your lips. You blink rapidly against the sting of saltwater, trying to reorient yourself, to fight your way back to the surface, but Osamu’s there, his other arm curled around your waist, pulling you to him, keeping you from rising.

The two of you spin, his forehead pressed against yours, eyes open, boring into you as you slowly, desperately, run out of air, thrashing in his arms. The edges of your vision begin to darken, your body screaming for fresh air. There’s a splash nearby, a noise that warbles underwater, but your head’s pounding, the lack of oxygen becoming critical. 

And still, you and Osamu dance. 

Without conscious thought, your lips parts, ready to force a mouthful of seawater into your lungs when his mouth crashes against yours. Osamu exhales, and you breathe, greedily gulping it down.

For what feels like a lifetime, he holds you there, mouth melded to his, breathing for you.

And then, his hold loosens. He catches your lower lip between his teeth and gently nips at it, smirking as you struggle against him, but he doesn’t stop you from shoving your way out of his arms and kicking for the surface. 

The first breath of fresh air is dizzying in its rush. 

You choke on it, halfway to a sob, and spin frantically to get your bearings. The pier is less than thirty feet away, but that might as well be a mile. Your energy’s sapped, limbs leaden and heavy. You’re going to need help to the shore, you need–

The pier’s empty. 

Kana.

Panic rips through you.

You dive before you can think better of it, before your tired muscles can scream in protest. You’re met with a haze of red. Blood.

Osamu had always been so careful with his teeth around you. They’re sharp. Jagged. Designed to cut through flesh and tear muscle from bone. A blur of grey darts through the water, and you watch as his mouth opens, jaw stretched wide like he does when he’s playing with you.

This time, he doesn’t swerve from the flailing body in his path. . 

His teeth sink in, hands grabbing her by the shoulders for better leverage, and you watch through horrified eyes as he rips a chunk from her neck and chews.

—

You’re lying on something smooth. Silky. Furry?Warm, despite the cool air licking at your damp skin. Outside, you think. On a beach? The air smells of salt, and if you focus, you think you can hear the waves lapping at the shore.

And you’re moving. Rocking back and forth in little jolts, a pain between your legs like a dull ache. Your neck throbs, pounding with every thud of your heart.

You’re so tired. Your whole body hurts.  

You should open your eyes, but that feels like too much effort. A whimper slips past your lips and there’s a brush of something soft against your forehead, a weird cooing noise you’re too out of it to place.

Your fingers twitch. The darkness coaxes, warm and soft and gentle. 

A problem for later, you think.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

A Princess & Her Knight ~ 1

A PRINCESS & HER KNIGHT MASTERLIST

Word Count: 1,365ish

Summary: You take a midnight stroll around the garden, only to be caught by your father's most trusted knight.

Notes: This is a short chapter. I promise the chapters will get longer. Please send in reactions!

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks!

The moon was high and the night sky was clear as you snuck through the secret passageways of the castle. They were meant for emergency uses only, but ever since you were a young girl, you had used them to escape the confines of your chambers and explore the castle and the grounds surrounding it. Your father always kept plenty of knights around every exit of the passage, but you were still able to get past most of them.

Tonight, you were feeling a bit claustrophobic within the thick stone walls and you wanted to get out. You had successfully snuck past all the knights and into the garden. Most of the time, you would bring a book with you to take your mind off of whatever was weighing you down. Tonight you just wanted to let yourself think of it all.

You had heard the rumors floating around the castle. Your father was close to arranging a marriage for you. As princess, you knew that this was inevitable especially since you were in your twenties. You were also the heir to the throne, so you knew that the royal court was anxious to get you married into a good alliance and hurry and produce an heir of your own. You were the only child of the widower King. 

So you needed the garden to keep you calm and in the right headspace, especially when you knew that your life could change at any moment. You wandered the garden aimlessly, taking in the beauty of the night. You had no idea how long you were out there before you heard the familiar clank of armor. You sighed and rolled your eyes. All the knights wore the same armor but only one moved so stiffly that he made a different sound as he walked.

“Princess,” his tone was firm and serious, just as it always was.

“Sir Logan,” you greeted, continuing your walk.

He caught up quickly. “It is too late for you to be out, Princess, especially alone.”

“Oh, please, Logan, you know very well that I do this all the time.”

“And you know very well that you aren’t supposed to.” His large hand wrapped around your upper arm in a firm but gentle grip. “Let’s go.”

“Get your hand off of me!” You tried to pull free but you were not as strong as your father’s most trusted knight.

“Not a chance, your Royal Highness.” He drug you along towards one of the regular entrances to the castle from the garden. 

“Let me guess, you’re going to tattle on me in the morning?”

“The King must know that you are sneaking out again.”

“He knows. He knows everything and he doesn’t seem to care too much. I’ve been doing this for years.”

Logan grunted as he led you through the castle and back to your chambers. “I’ll make sure that Summers doubles the guard in the morning.”

“I’m so glad you care.” You tore your arm free finally. “And no thanks for anything, Sir Logan.”

Logan watched you as you slipped into your bedroom and slammed the door. Logan was your father’s favorite knight and the one who followed all the rules to a tea. Almost like he was afraid to break any. You were just grateful that he was in charge of watching over your father more than he was watching over you. 

~~~

“Hello, my dear,” your father greeted from behind his desk.

You smiled at him and walked around to press a kiss to his cheek. “Good morning, father.” You glanced at the hardened knight beside him. “Sir Logan.”

“Logan here was just telling me that he found you strolling the gardens last night. I saw the moon through my window before going to bed, it was beautiful.”

“It was. And the stars were shining so brightly.” You smirked as you noticed Logan clench his bearded jaw. “I wish you could have joined me, father.”

“Perhaps another night, my child, if you don’t mind pushing my wheelchair around.”

“You know that I never mind helping you.”

“Yes, my perfect daughter.”

“I’m sorry, your Majesty, but the Princess was out in the garden alone at night,” Logan finally cut in. “It is too dangerous for her to be doing that.”

“Right. Yes, dear, I’m afraid that Logan is correct. It is too dangerous for you to continue to do that.”

“But father—“

Your father silenced you just by raising a hand. “There is no arguing this I’m afraid. Your safety is always my number one priority and now that you are of age to marry, your safety is even more important. People will try to get to you to bargain for a marriage deal.” Your father hated watching your shoulders sink in disappointment. He never wanted to be the one to cause you pain, especially when it came to taking one of our greatest joys away. “There can be no more middle of the night rendezvous anymore. In order to over see this, I’m assigning a new knight to be your personal guard.”

“Who?”

“Logan.”

“What?” You and Logan both questioned.

“Yes, Logan will now oversee your protection. He is my most trusted knight and since he won’t take the head of the guard position, he will guard the most important person in my life.” Your father wheeled around the desk to you and gently took your hands. “I’m only doing this because I love you, my daughter.”

“I know, father,” you responded. “I love you too.”

“And you will listen to Logan?”

Your eyes flickered over to the tense man before landing back on your father. “Of course.”

“Good.” He gave your hands a little squeeze before dropping them. “You are free to go now, my dear. I must talk to Logan before he begins his new assignment.”

“Of course,” you curtsied. “Good day, father. Sir Logan.” Then you left the room.

“Charles, I really don’t think—“ Logan began.

“You are sworn to protect me, Logan,” your father interrupted, “and in order to do that, my daughter needs to be protected. She is all I have and I will not lose her to those who wish to do me harm.” Charles sighed as he wheeled himself over to the window. “As you know, there are people challenging Y/N’s right to the throne because she is a woman. She has no idea that there have been threats made. It is why I must hurry and find her a suitable match with a respected nobleman, a prince, or a king. It will secure her hold to the throne… You have been my most loyal knight since you arrived and you are the only one I trust with this assignment.”

Despite what Logan was feeling over becoming your babysitter, he couldn’t fail his King. “I will do what you’ve asked of me.”

“Thank you, Logan.” He rolled back around to his desk. “You may go now and good luck. My daughter is a free spirit with her own mind. You will need a lot of luck and patience on your side.”

~~~

“I heard the King assigned you to the Princess, Howlett,” Scott Summers said as he and Logan prepared to duel. He was Head of the Guard, only getting the job because Logan refused it. 

“Yeah,” Logan grunted.

“Well, good luck. I don’t know how she does it, but she’s a slippery one. Knows every hidden passage of the castle and is able to find ways around the guards.”

“Maybe we need to do something about that.”

Scott scoffed. “If you follow the Princess and find all the passages, then yes, I’ll make sure that they are all guarded. But she knows more than us all.”

“I’m going to need some help. Anyone you have free?”

“Yes, the young kid, Bobby. He’d be good for this assignment. An opportunity to prove himself.”

“Bobby? That kid almost impaled himself when he was a page.”

“He’s grown out of it. Bobby won’t fail you. What will fail you is keeping the Princess from breaking the rules.”

“I can manage.”

Scott scoffed, slapping Logan’s shoulder. “I’m sure you can, Logan. I can’t wait to see how well it goes.”

next chapter >

[rizzmura]

under your skin; the first impression

enemy!niki x fem!reader

warnings: strong language, mild sexual tension, suggestive themes, enemies-to-lovers dynamic, light teasing/flirting, angst, heated banter, emotionally charged moments

w.c.: 2.5k

chapter one synopsis: niki walks into your life like he owns the place. he’s cocky, self-assured, and somehow always knows how to push your buttons. what starts as harmless teasing soon escalates into a rivalry that neither of you can escape. but there’s a thin line between hate and something else you’re trying hard not to acknowledge.

you had heard about him before you met him. everyone had something to say about nishimura niki, and none of it was particularly glowing to you. he was the kind of guy that had a reputation for being difficult, cocky, and loud. he had this charm, a swagger about him that you couldn’t ignore. his confidence radiated from every word, every action. and if you were being honest, it annoyed you. everyone had their limits, and niki seemed determined to find yours.

before he even stepped into the lecture hall, you had already made up your mind: you were going to keep your distance. college wasn’t supposed to be about dealing with someone like him. it was supposed to be a place to focus on your future, to get your degree, and leave. you weren’t here for any distractions.

but of course, niki didn’t seem to understand the concept of “quiet.”

he burst into the lecture hall like a hurricane, his loud voice announcing his entrance before his body even fully filled the doorway. he was talking to a friend, animated and expressive, as usual. his presence immediately drew attention, and you could feel the collective sigh of the room when he took the seat right next to you, without even a glance in your direction.

you tried to ignore him, but it was impossible. everything about him was distracting. his too-loud laugh, his exaggerated gestures, the way his energy seemed to fill every inch of space in the room. you could almost feel the way his presence pushed against your own, like an electric current you couldn’t escape.

niki seemed to have no concept of personal space. or maybe he just didn’t care.

“hey,” he said casually, looking at the papers in front of you. “you look like you’re actually paying attention. i should’ve sat next to you.”

you shot him a quick, disinterested glance, silently wishing he’d just leave you alone. “great,” you replied flatly, focusing your gaze on your notes, trying to ignore the way his eyes followed you as if he was trying to figure out who you were, like it was some kind of game to him.

he wasn’t deterred. of course, he wasn’t. “you know, i heard this lecture is a waste of time. i only came because the syllabus said there’s a quiz later this week.”

you couldn’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes. “how convenient for you,” you muttered, still not looking at him, but you could already feel a little tickle of irritation creeping up your spine.

niki grinned, completely unfazed by your flat response. “i take it you’re not a fan of this place, huh? you’re a bit too serious for college.” his tone was playful, but there was an edge to it, a hint that maybe he wasn’t entirely joking. or maybe he was, and you were just reading too much into it.

you glanced at him, your annoyance rising. “i’m here for the degree. not here to entertain you.”

he raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by your sharp response. “oh, come on, you’re no fun. you gotta lighten up sometimes, y’know? college is all about enjoying the ride.”

you frowned, irritation bubbling beneath the surface. “well, maybe i like my ride with fewer distractions. ever think about that?”

his smile only widened, clearly enjoying this little back-and-forth. “you know, i like a challenge.”

you didn’t know why, but you felt your temper rising. maybe it was the fact that he seemed so effortlessly charming. maybe it was the fact that he didn’t seem to care at all about your attempts to ignore him. either way, you couldn’t stop the sharp edge in your voice when you snapped back.

“well, good for you,” you gritted out. “i don’t need your advice.”

niki’s eyes lit up as if he’d won some small victory. “oh, come on,” he said with a mock pout. “i’m just trying to be helpful.”

“keep your ‘helpfulness’ to yourself,” you snapped, doing your best to ignore the rapid beat of your heart. “i don’t need your advice.”

but he was relentless, and you could feel his presence grow closer. he leaned in slightly, his voice dropping low as though it were a secret only meant for you.

“wow. that’s intense. i didn’t realize you hated me so much.”

“i don’t hate you,” you gritted out, your tone tight with restrained frustration. “i just wish you would leave me alone.”

niki leaned forward, his eyes glinting with amusement. “if i left you alone, how would i have any fun?”

you stared at him, incredulous. “seriously? you think this is fun?”

he shrugged, his carefree attitude only serving to irritate you further. “maybe for me. definitely for you.”

you clenched your jaw, already regretting the decision to sit next to him. this wasn’t the first time you’d encountered someone like him—people who thought they could talk circles around you just to get under your skin—but niki seemed to have a particular talent for it. and what bothered you the most was that, despite how much you hated it, you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

as the lecture droned on, niki kept up his quiet commentary. at first, it was just casual comments—little jokes that no one but you could hear, the occasional nudge of his elbow against yours. you tried to stay focused, but every time your mind started to wander, niki was there, right next to you, almost like he was baiting you into conversation. it was as though he knew exactly how to push your buttons. how to make you uncomfortable.

you weren’t sure how to handle him. on one hand, you resented the way he seemed to have this easy, effortless charm that made people laugh and draw attention. on the other hand, there was something strangely magnetic about him. something that made you feel like you wanted to get to know him. despite yourself, you couldn’t seem to shake the pull. it frustrated you, made you angry, and left you feeling confused.

by the time the lecture was over, you were beyond frustrated. you had never been more relieved to hear the bell ring. gathering your things in a hurry, you stood up, ready to get out of the room and away from niki. he didn’t even seem to notice the way you were practically rushing to leave.

but as you turned to walk out of the lecture hall, you felt a sudden tap on your shoulder. you spun around, fully prepared to tell him off again, to let him know that you weren’t interested in whatever game he was playing.

“hey,” niki said with a grin, standing in front of you with an annoying cockiness that made your blood boil. “don’t be mad, okay? i was just messing with you. no need to look so pissed.”

you tried to push past him, but he stepped in your way. “seriously, you’re not even going to talk to me after what i said? i thought we were bonding.”

you stared at him, incredulous. “bonding? no, we were arguing. and i don’t plan on bonding with you anytime soon.”

niki just laughed, a sound that only grated on your nerves further. “that’s a shame. i think we could make a pretty good team if you didn’t hate me so much.”

you just shook your head and walked away, trying to ignore the sudden flicker of something in your chest. it wasn’t attraction, you told yourself. it was just... irritation. the guy was infuriating, but you couldn’t deny that you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

you sat alone in the cafeteria, poking at your food with a fork, lost in thought. niki's words echoed in your mind, his smirk haunting your every thought. you hated how easily he got under your skin. you hated even more that you couldn't seem to shake the way he made you feel.

as you sat there, lost in your frustration, niki appeared once again. he slid into the seat across from you, his presence immediately overwhelming. you looked up, ready to snap at him, but the words died in your throat when you saw the look in his eyes. this time, his expression was different, still cocky but with an edge of curiosity.

"so, what's your deal?" he asked, leaning forward with genuine interest.

you blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change in his demeanor. "my deal?"

"yeah," he said, tilting his head slightly. "you seem like you've got it all figured out. what's your story?"

you hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. "i'm just here to study. get my degree and move on."

niki raised an eyebrow, clearly not satisfied with your answer. "come on, there's gotta be more to it than that."

you sighed, feeling the weight of his gaze. "fine. i'm here to get my degree and hopefully land a good job. that's it. nothing more, nothing less."

he nodded, seeming to consider your words. "fair enough. but you know, college isn't just about the degree. it's about the experiences, the people you meet, the things you learn outside of the classroom."

you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his clichéd response. "thanks for the lecture, but i've heard it all before."

he smirked, clearly enjoying your sarcasm. "just thought i'd give you my two cents."

you shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. "you're something else, niki."

he leaned back, crossing his arms with a satisfied grin. "oh, by the way, i'm having a party at my place tonight. you should come."

you blinked, caught off guard by the sudden invitation. "a party?"

"yeah," he said, nonchalantly. "it's going to be fun. a good way to take a break from all the studying."

you hesitated, your mind racing. the last thing you wanted was to spend more time with niki, especially in a social setting where he would undoubtedly be the center of attention. but something in his gaze made it hard to refuse. "i don't know…"

"come on," he urged, leaning forward again. "it'll be fun. besides, you need to lighten up, remember?"

you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his persistence. "i'll think about it."

"that's all i ask," he said with a wink, standing up from the table. "party starts at eight. don't be late."

with that, he turned and walked away, leaving you sitting there, your thoughts a whirlwind of confusion and frustration. why had you even considered going to his party? you had no reason to. yet, a small part of you was curious. what was it about niki that made it so hard to stay away?

as the day went on, you found it increasingly difficult to focus on your studies. niki's invitation lingered in your mind, a constant distraction. you couldn't deny that there was a part of you that wanted to go, to see what he was like outside of the lecture hall. but another part of you was wary, hesitant to let your guard down around him.

by the time the evening rolled around, you still hadn't made up your mind. you stood in front of your mirror, staring at your reflection, trying to decide what to do. finally, with a frustrated sigh, you grabbed your jacket and headed out the door. maybe it was a mistake, but there was only one way to find out.

when you arrived at niki's house, you could hear the music thumping from the street. the party was already in full swing, people milling about in the front yard, laughing and talking. you took a deep breath, steeling yourself, and walked up to the door.

niki was there to greet you, a wide grin spreading across his face when he saw you. "you made it!"

you nodded, feeling a bit out of place. "yeah, i did."

"come on in," he said, gesturing for you to follow him. "let me introduce you to some people."

you followed him into the house, the noise and energy of the party washing over you. niki led you through the crowd, introducing you to his friends, making sure you felt included. despite your initial reservations, you found yourself relaxing, enjoying the atmosphere.

as the night went on, you noticed that you were the center of attention for many of the guys at the party. they approached you, striking up conversations, complimenting you, and vying for your attention. you couldn't help but feel a bit flattered, even as you tried to keep your focus on the casual conversations.

niki, meanwhile, seemed to be watching you from a distance. though he continued to laugh and joke with his friends, you couldn't help but notice the way his eyes flickered in your direction, observing every interaction you had with the other guys. his expression remained unchanged, but there was an intensity in his gaze that you couldn't quite decipher.

at one point, you found yourself talking to a guy named taeyong. he was charming and funny, and you enjoyed his company. you laughed at one of his jokes, and he took the opportunity to move a little closer, his hand lightly brushing against your arm. out of the corner of your eye, you saw niki stiffen, his jaw clenching ever so slightly.

you glanced over at niki, catching his eye. for a brief moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something—jealousy, perhaps? but just as quickly, it was gone, replaced by his usual cocky smile. he raised an eyebrow, as if to say, "enjoying yourself?"

you turned your attention back to taeyong, but you couldn't shake the feeling that niki's eyes were still on you. as the night went on, you noticed other guys approaching you, each one trying to win your attention. niki continued to watch from a distance, his presence a constant reminder that he was never far away.

eventually, you excused yourself from the group and stepped outside for some fresh air. the cool breeze was a welcome relief from the heat and noise of the party. you leaned against the porch railing, taking a moment to collect your thoughts.

"you seem to be quite the hit tonight," a familiar voice said, breaking the silence. you turned to see niki standing there, his eyes fixed on you.

you shrugged, trying to play it cool. "just making new friends."

"looks like you made a lot of them," he said, his tone casual but with an undercurrent of something more.

you couldn't help but smile at his comment. "jealous?"

niki laughed, a genuine sound that made your heart skip a beat. "me? jealous? please."

"good," you said, meeting his gaze. "because there's no reason to be."

he stepped closer, the distance between you shrinking. "maybe not. but it's hard not to notice when every guy in the room wants to talk to you."

"maybe they're just being friendly," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

"maybe," he said, his eyes locked onto yours. "but i can't help but think it's more than that."

the air between you was charged with tension, the unspoken words hanging in the balance. you wanted to say something, anything, to break the silence, but the intensity of his gaze left you speechless.

after a moment, niki reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. the simple touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but lean into his hand, craving more of the contact.

"i'm glad you came tonight," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"me too," you replied, your voice just as quiet.

as you stood there, lost in the moment, you couldn't help but wonder what the future held for you and niki. he was still as infuriating as ever, but there was something about him that made it impossible to stay away. you didn't know what would happen next, but one thing was certain: your life had just gotten a whole lot more complicated.

the weeks after the party felt like a strange blur. there was a shift in the way you saw niki, but it wasn’t one you had the luxury of making sense of. every encounter with him only made it more complicated. you hated how much he occupied your thoughts, how he made you feel things you weren't prepared to feel. but the tension between you was undeniable, a pressure that lingered like a storm waiting to burst.

it wasn’t long before you saw him again, this time outside of class. you were walking across campus, lost in your own world, when you saw him—niki, leaning against a tree, arms crossed, looking entirely too comfortable in a way that made your blood boil. you didn’t want to deal with him, not today, not after everything that had happened at the party. the memory of his smirk, his casual disregard for your boundaries, had lingered longer than you cared to admit.

but niki was impossible to ignore. he spotted you immediately, and his trademark grin spread across his face.

“hey, there you are,” he called out, voice loud enough to make a few passersby glance in your direction. he pushed off the tree and walked toward you, his confident swagger somehow grating on your nerves.

you stopped in your tracks, your heart beating a little faster, a mix of irritation and something else you weren’t ready to acknowledge. “what do you want, niki?”

“just wanted to talk,” he said with a casual shrug, but there was something in his eyes—a glint of mischief, maybe even challenge. “you know, we didn’t get to finish our conversation last time.”

your stomach dropped, remembering how that last conversation had gone. the anger, the frustration, the way you’d tried so hard to ignore him because of what you were feeling. it hadn't worked. it still didn’t.

“there’s nothing left to say,” you snapped, taking a step back, trying to keep your distance.

he stopped in front of you, not backing down. “really? feels like there’s plenty to say.” his voice was still playful, but there was an edge to it now, like he was daring you to say something. to do something.

you clenched your fists at your sides, the urge to snap at him overwhelming. “you think this is all some kind of joke, don’t you?”

niki’s expression shifted slightly, his grin faltering for just a second. “i don’t think it’s a joke. but you sure act like you think i’m some kind of joke.”

the words stung more than they should have. you opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, he continued.

“you think i’m just some cocky guy who doesn't take anything seriously,” he said, voice low now, more intense than before. “maybe you're right. but you’re not exactly making this easy, are you?”

your chest tightened, and a sharp retort slipped from your lips before you could stop it. “maybe i wouldn’t be so ‘difficult’ if you’d just stop messing with me. if you’d just leave me alone for once.”

niki’s eyes flickered, just for a moment, with something—hurt? disappointment? you weren’t sure, but it made your breath catch in your throat. you couldn’t afford to feel bad for him. not now. not after everything.

he took a step closer, narrowing the space between you. “you think i enjoy this? the back-and-forth? the constant tension between us?” his voice was quieter now, almost hushed. “you think i want this?”

“i don’t know what you want, niki,” you retorted, your voice cracking with the rawness of the frustration you’d been holding in for weeks. “you don’t make any sense. one minute you’re annoying the hell out of me, and the next, you’re acting like you actually care. it’s impossible to figure you out!”

his face hardened, his eyes darkening. “and maybe it’s impossible for you to admit that you care too.”

the words hit you like a slap, leaving you breathless. you wanted to argue, to say something that would push him away, but the truth lingered in the space between you. you did care, in some twisted way, and that terrified you.

“i don’t care about you,” you snapped, more forcefully than you intended. “i don’t want you in my life. all you do is make everything harder.”

niki’s jaw clenched, his expression tightening. “is that what you really think of me?” he took another step forward, invading your space, the air between you crackling with tension. “that i’m just a problem for you? that i’m just some guy you can push away whenever it suits you?”

you opened your mouth to respond, but the words got stuck in your throat. he was too close. his presence was overwhelming, suffocating even. and there was something in his eyes, something that made you question everything you thought you knew about him.

“i don’t know what you want from me,” you finally said, your voice shaking with the effort to keep it steady. “you don’t make any sense, niki. you think this is some game, but it’s not.”

“fine?” niki laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. it was bitter, frustrated. “you think i’m the one treating you like shit? you think i’m the one making this miserable?”

you stepped back, your mind reeling from the realization that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way you did—caught in this endless cycle of misunderstanding, of playing games neither of you were willing to admit.

“i don’t know what you want from me,” you repeated, feeling your emotions slip out of control. “i just want to be left alone.”

there was a long, painful silence. then niki’s voice broke through the tension, rough and raw. “i want you to stop pretending like you don’t care. i want you to stop pretending that i’m the problem when you’re just as much a part of this mess as i am.”

his words were like a punch to the gut, and you couldn’t stop the way your chest tightened, your heart racing as everything you’d been trying to suppress came bubbling to the surface.

“i don’t need you, niki,” you choked out, every word feeling like it was ripping itself from you. “i don’t need this. i don’t need you messing with my life, making everything harder than it needs to be.”

“you think i’m the one messing with your life?” his voice rose, a mixture of anger and hurt in his words. “you think i’m the one making this hard? i’m not the one pushing you away every time you start feeling something.”

your eyes burned, the anger and hurt so strong that it made you dizzy. “i’m pushing you away because you don’t respect me. you don’t respect my boundaries, niki. you think this is some game, but it’s not.”

the words were out before you could stop them. and as they hung in the air, something in niki seemed to snap. his eyes darkened, his mouth tightening into a thin line.

“i’m not some game to you?” his voice was barely above a whisper, but it was filled with a fury you hadn’t expected. “well, i’m not some toy for you to just push around either.”

the fight had exploded, raw and brutal, and neither of you could stop it. the emotions were too strong, too tangled, and now you were both caught in a moment where there was no turning back.

《》

tag list (if your name is crossed that means i cant find your blog)

@ramenoil @strawberrynull @si3rren @rikidaze @yangjungwonnie @hehabi @ijustreallylike2read

[asheepinfrance]

patrick blurb because valentines day. its short and hopefully a little sweet. im soso sorry that this isnt longer, i have two other things i can hopefully get out soon but i write everything day of (stupid) and am traveling so took no time out to write (stupider). regardless i hope you enjoy. as always, comments and critiques are welcome.

If there’s one thing Patrick is, at least with you, it’s a horrible liar. The poor man couldn’t get away with fibbing to save his life. Not that being bad at dishonesty is an issue, in fact, it’s quite the opposite, but there have been times where it would’ve been a welcome presence in your relationship. He couldn’t even lie about liking those jeans you’d picked off the rack, even though it was fairly clear you wanted them, despite claiming that you just couldn’t make up your mind on them. 

So, when he calls and says, “Babe… can you believe that they just extended tour?” you decide to humor him just this once. For one, the excuse was a weak one, and made little to no sense if you thought about it for more than a second or two, but you could just hear the smug ass grin he was wearing. He thinks he’s a genius.

You feign a sigh, twirling the drawstring of your hoodie around your pointer finger before placing it in the seam of your lips. You mumble something about ‘Oh, baby, that’s just terrible’ because, frankly, he’s not the type to care about your less than convincing acting job as long as he’s getting the reaction he wants in general. He’s complaining about needing to book a new hotel, something that he’s actually willing to pay for himself, when he barges into your room and manages to nearly scare you off your bed. He’s got that same stupid grin on his face that you’d previously imagined, now holding his arms wide as if to present himself to you. “This’ll do.”

You’re taking too long to process for his liking, because he drops his bags with a heavy thud, completely uncaring for the equipment stored inside, and makes his way towards you. You can’t manage anything, not the ‘How did you get in here?’ that you should definitely concern yourself with, just a soft murmur of “Patrick…” before throwing yourself at him as hard as you can manage to. He’s strong, noticeably stronger since the last time you saw him about three months ago, and manages to catch your weight with such ease it hardly looks like you weigh a thing. 

The past few days had been hard, as he’d let you know through several hours-long phone calls, but god, if you aren’t a sight for sore eyes. The way his smile softens says it all, and he’s just breathing in your presence, your scent, the hints of perfume lingering on the fabric of your hoodie. He’s right at home with it. He knows that when the moment’s through, and the shock’s worn off, you’ll be ashamed by your choice of outfit, your lack of makeup, the mess of hair on your head. He thinks it’s the most beautiful he’s ever seen you, and he didn’t think you could get better than perfection, but here he is, pressed against it. 

He’s got to be uncomfortable, kneeling at your bedside this long, but he can put that aside for now. Right now, he’s with his girl for the first time in the longest three months of his life and he’s not letting go, knees be damned. He presses a few kisses wherever he can manage to reach, and the laugh you let out when you feel his lips just above yours is enough to send him reeling. It sounds so much clearer here than over the phone. He’d thought you were radiant then, even through a screen, but now? Now he’s just about certain you’re made of more light than each star combined. He’d tell you that if he could, but with his habit of saying things just slightly less eloquently than he means to, he opts for just saying “I missed you”.

You know him. Know he means a lot more than he can properly express with his way of speaking. He’s got a lot of ways of showing it, at least. Falling asleep next to a propped up phone, listening to his breathing grow slower, steadier. Finding little notes from month-old visits in odd corners of your room, scrawled in his signature chicken-scratch only you can manage to decode. The way he holds you like you’re fragile and looks at you like too much exposure to his presence could damage you, despite it doing just the opposite, tells you what you needs to know. He means he loves you.

You breathe out a laugh, one that your shoulders raise with.

“Yeah… missed you, too.”

[andy-15-07]

Hii, I have a request; Joel x reader. A little sad one, where one night they're talking, she's taking care of Ellie who's sick and she opens up to Joel telling his she lost her family, and he opens up talking about Sarah

Shadows of the Past

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Word Count: 2119 | Requests are open! (send requests, I will gladly answer them all)

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

The night had settled heavy over the abandoned safehouse, the kind of quiet that pressed in on every memory and thought. Outside, the wind whispered through the broken trees, carrying with it the scent of rain and decay. Inside, a weak, steady glow from a dying lantern cast long shadows across the rough-hewn walls. You sat at a rickety wooden table, your gaze flickering between the comforting warmth of the fire and the restless form of Ellie, who lay curled on a threadbare cot. She had been battling a fever since dusk, and you’d taken it upon yourself to nurse her back to health—an act of tenderness in a world that had long forgotten such luxuries.

Joel had joined you quietly, slipping into the worn armchair opposite. His eyes, tired yet perceptive, watched the interplay of light and dark, as if searching for meaning in the half-light. For a long moment, neither of you spoke. The silence was filled with the soft crackle of the fire and Ellie's labored breathing.

Finally, Joel cleared his throat. “You holding up okay?” he asked, his voice low and cautious, as though he weren’t sure if he wanted to intrude on your solitude.

You managed a small smile, though your eyes betrayed the heaviness you carried. “I’m alright. Just… thinking,” you replied softly.

He nodded, his gaze drifting to the flickering flame. “Sometimes the night brings up too many thoughts,” he murmured.

You hesitated, then shifted in your seat. “I lost my family a long time ago,” you said, the words catching in your throat. “Every time I think I’m past it, it feels like I’m reliving it all over again.”

Joel’s eyes softened, and he leaned forward, the fire’s glow catching the lines of pain on his face. “Losing family… it never really stops hurting, does it?” he said, his voice gentle. “I lost someone too.”

A long pause stretched between you, weighted with unsaid words. Finally, you asked, “Who did you lose?”

His jaw tightened slightly, and he looked away as if the memory was too raw to face directly. After a few seconds, he spoke, his tone laden with sorrow. “My daughter… Sarah. She was my whole world. And then—” he trailed off, the silence returning, filled with the echoes of a past that refused to die.

You felt a pang of empathy, knowing all too well that loss wasn’t something that ever truly left you. “I’m sorry, Joel,” you said, reaching out as if to offer comfort, though you knew words could hardly mend such deep wounds.

Joel’s gaze met yours, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of gratitude in his tired eyes. “It’s… it’s something I’ve carried with me every day,” he admitted. “Sometimes, I think about what life would have been like if I’d been able to protect her.”

The conversation paused, and the only sounds were Ellie's soft coughs and the murmuring wind outside. You shifted your focus back to her, noting how fragile she looked in the dim light. “I worry about her,” you confessed. “Every time she gets sick, it feels like I’m failing her somehow. Like I’m not strong enough to keep her safe.”

Joel leaned forward again, his tone careful yet earnest. “You’re doing everything you can. It’s not about being strong all the time—it’s about showing up, even when you’re hurting, and caring. I know that pain. It’s… it’s relentless sometimes.”

You glanced at him, feeling a connection in that shared understanding. “How do you manage, Joel? I mean, how do you keep going with the weight of it all?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He paused, searching for the right words. “There are nights like this when I just sit and let the memories wash over me,” he explained slowly. “I remember the sound of Sarah’s laughter, the way she’d cling to me whenever I tried to fix something broken in our lives. And then, I remember the moment I lost her… and I realize that maybe, just maybe, those memories are all I have left of her.”

You listened intently, the weight of your own loss mingling with his sorrow. “I lost my family in a raid,” you admitted, your voice shaking with the memory. “One moment we were all together, and the next… everything was gone. It’s like I’m constantly chasing ghosts, trying to piece together a life that can never be whole again.”

Joel’s eyes darkened with empathy. “I know what it’s like to chase ghosts,” he said quietly. “Every day, I see the echoes of Sarah in every quiet corner, every whispered wind. It’s a reminder of what I lost, but also of what I still have to fight for.” His hand brushed against the table, almost as if reaching out to the memory of a past that haunted him.

The silence that followed was thick, filled with mutual understanding and unspoken pain. Finally, you broke the stillness. “I feel so alone sometimes,” you confessed. “Even when I’m surrounded by people—like Ellie—there’s this part of me that’s always empty, always aching.”

Joel’s gaze softened, and he leaned forward once more. “I know loneliness,” he said. “It’s the hardest part of all. But you’re not alone in this, you know. We both have scars that remind us we’ve lost so much, but maybe that’s what makes us hold on to the people we care about now.” His words were measured and gentle, offering a tentative lifeline out of the abyss.

You managed a small laugh, the sound brittle and tinged with sadness. “It’s funny, isn’t it? How the things we lose make us value the things we still have… even if it feels like we’re barely holding on.”

Joel nodded, his eyes distant as he remembered his daughter’s smile. “Yeah. Sarah used to say that scars were just reminders of how hard we fought to survive, that they were proof we’d loved and lost. I wish I could believe that sometimes.”

A brief silence enveloped you both, each lost in the labyrinth of memories that defined your separate sorrows. The steady rhythm of Ellie’s breathing provided a quiet counterpoint to the heavy words that hung between you.

After a moment, you shifted your gaze to Joel. “Do you ever think about what could have been?” you asked, your voice soft yet inquisitive. “About what our lives might look like if nothing had ever happened?”

Joel’s expression turned reflective, the pain of what-ifs evident in his eyes. “Every day,” he admitted. “There’s a part of me that wonders if I could have been a better father, if I could have done something to save Sarah. But then I realize that life isn’t about perfect choices—it’s about the choices we make in spite of the pain.”

You absorbed his words, feeling the truth resonate in your own experiences. “I made choices too,” you murmured. “Some I regret, some I wish I could take back. But every time I look at Ellie, I see a chance to do something right, to give her the love and care that I never got.”

Joel’s gaze softened, and he offered you a gentle smile. “That’s all any of us can do,” he said. “Try to make up for what we lost by giving everything we have to what remains.” His hand briefly touched the back of your hand on the table, a silent offering of solidarity in a world that had long forsaken kindness.

The conversation lulled into a comfortable quiet, punctuated only by the occasional cough from Ellie and the low hum of the wind outside. You both sat with your respective ghosts, finding solace in the shared understanding of loss.

After a while, Joel spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. “You know, sometimes I think about how different things might be if I could start over. If I could go back and change one moment, just to save her from that moment of loss.” His eyes glistened with unshed tears, and you saw the depth of his pain in that fleeting vulnerability.

You reached out, your voice soft and steady. “Joel, I don’t think any of us can ever truly change the past. But we can choose how we move forward. And maybe, in some small way, every choice we make is a tribute to those we lost.” Your words carried both the weight of your sorrow and the hope that somehow, by caring for others, you could honor the memory of what was gone.

He nodded slowly, the silence that followed heavy with understanding. “You’re right,” he agreed. “Every small act of kindness, every moment of love—it’s a rebellion against the darkness that took everything from us.” His hand squeezed yours briefly before retreating back to the table, leaving behind a warmth that belied the coldness of the world outside.

As the night deepened, the conversation shifted between memories and moments of tentative hope. You talked about the little things that reminded you of your family—a favorite meal, a song, a smell that carried a thousand memories. Joel shared stories of Sarah, recounting her mischievous grin and the way her laughter could light up even the darkest day. Each story, each memory, was a small step toward understanding that even in loss, there could be fragments of beauty.

At one point, Ellie stirred, and you excused yourself to check on her. In the soft lamplight of her makeshift bed, you gently brushed her hair back, whispering reassurances. “It’s okay, Ellie. I’m right here,” you murmured, more to yourself than to her. The weight of your own pain mingled with your determination to protect this fragile life in your care.

When you returned to the table, Joel looked up, a quiet smile tugging at his lips. “She’s a fighter, isn’t she?” he remarked, his voice filled with a mix of admiration and wistfulness.

You nodded. “Just like us,” you replied. “Even when it feels like the world is against you, you keep fighting. That’s all we can do.”

Joel’s eyes met yours, and for a long moment, the past and present seemed to converge in that simple, powerful truth. “We fight,” he said quietly. “And in fighting, we find the pieces of ourselves we thought were lost.”

The conversation lulled once more as the night wore on, each of you wrapped in the delicate fabric of shared grief and quiet resilience. Outside, the first hints of dawn began to lighten the horizon, a reminder that even in the darkest nights, there was the promise of a new day.

Before the light fully broke, Joel spoke again, his tone resolute yet tinged with sorrow. “I know I can’t bring Sarah back,” he said, his voice barely concealing the ache. “But maybe, by protecting the people we love now, we’re in some small way honoring her memory. By keeping someone safe, we’re defying the loss, even if just for a moment.”

You reached across the table, your fingers brushing his in a silent affirmation. “We honor them every day,” you said softly. “In every act of love, in every moment we choose to live despite the pain, we’re keeping a part of them alive.”

Joel’s eyes shone with a quiet determination. “Then let’s keep fighting,” he whispered, the simple declaration carrying the weight of everything you both had endured.

The night gradually gave way to the soft hues of early morning, and the heavy shadows of grief began to lift ever so slightly. In that fragile transition from night to day, you both found a renewed sense of purpose—a promise that even in the midst of sorrow, there was a future worth fighting for.

As you prepared to settle back into a few more hours of restless sleep before the next day’s challenges, you felt a subtle shift inside. The weight of your shared pasts had not vanished, but in the exchange of memories and heartfelt words, a small light had been kindled—a reminder that you were not alone in the struggle, and that every day, in every act of care and compassion, you were building a bridge from the past to a future that still held promise.

And so, in the quiet dawn, with Ellie resting a bit easier and the horizon hinting at a new beginning, you and Joel faced the world together—two souls bound by loss, yet united by the determination to keep fighting, to keep loving, and to keep the memories of those lost alive in every whispered word and every tender touch.

The fight wasn’t over, you thought, but maybe, just maybe, we could find a way to live with the scars and let them be the map to our healing.

[theambitiouswoman]

hello friend ! I hope you’re doing well❤️

I wanted to ask, how does someone who’s very emotional and sensitive master the unbothered mindset?

Hi beautiful

Being emotional and sensitive isn’t a weakness, especially in a world where so many struggle with their emotions or try to push them away. So it’s not about shutting off your feelings but learning how to control them instead of letting them control you.

And you learn to do this but first feeling your emotions and then before reacting, asking yourself what they’re really about. Are sad because X was done? Are you sad because it triggered something? Is jt even about you or is it about them? You can care without over identifying with situations.

A trick I learned when I was practicing how to be more emotionally intelligent was when something upset me, I will say “I’ll think about this later.” If I was dealing with someone in person, I would excuse myself or be honest and say I need to process my thoughts.

Are you starting to see how it’s not even about your feelings. They’re perfectly fine. It’s just about learning a bit of emotional self control. That’s how you look “unbothered” in a healthy way :)

If you see someone give an attitude, or go cold and ignore, or try to be malicious, that is unhealthy. You don’t want to be that. Plus it’s so powerful and attractive in my opinion when you can handle a situation gracefully.

People who are confident and secure don’t chase approval, they more so look at peoples actions and move accordingly. Doesn’t mean they don’t feel. But they know how to act in moments based on what they know they deserve and they don’t give up their power.

So start asking yourself why you’re giving something your energy instead of “thy are they doing this to me”

Would your highest self care about this?

Let’s be clear I’m not saying to invalidate your feelings or pretend you don’t have any. I’m telling you that analyzing your feelings is how you learn self control and how you handle situations based on your feelings is how you take your power back.

Sometimes power is exactly showing emotion and crying, in fact. But not everyone deserves access to your emotions. Silence is a strong response. If something isn’t helping you grow, it’s irrelevant. Train yourself to think “This is beneath my energy.”

Make peace with not being liked by everyone. Let people be wrong about you. The need to correct peoples misunderstandings is a trap. The real key is to reframe ‘unbothered’ as ‘deeply secure.’ You’re not emotionless; you’re just in control.

[lilithrosexoxo]

Ch.4 Garden Kisses

You feel a sense of serenity wash over you as you travel through the garden. You and Jinwoo walk under the arches covered in roses hand in hand. It almost feels like a date and the thought has your heart racing. 

Of course he hears it and has to check in, ”Is everything okay princess Y/N?” he says as he turns to you.

His concern makes you smile. You’ve heard so many rumors about him over the past few years after the disappearance of the original Alpha Sung, especially how ruthless he is when he’s your enemy but so far he’s been so sweet to you. You raise yourself on your tiptoes and place a kiss on his cheek.

“Just thinking about how I have such a kind and strong alpha”, you say giggling sweetly.

Jinwoo is stuck, you kissed him and he felt sparks dance across his skin. Every time you two were together it felt like electricity crackled through the air. He’s never felt like this with anyone he’s ever met. Women and men have thrown themselves at him over the past few years but no one has ever made him feel the way you do. He’s usually calm and collected in every situation he’s in but there’s something about you that makes his heart race but your omega hearing doesn’t pick up on it. You continue to walk through the garden and you stop at your favorite spot. An area of the garden surrounded by white Calla Lilies. These were your grandmother's favorite flower before her passing and this area always makes you feel close to her. You both sit on the bench and look into each other's eyes. 

“So what does the lovely Y/N like to do in her free time?”, he asks while intertwining his fingers with yours.

“Well I love to run wild and free in my wolf form especially when the moon is full, painting brings me a sense of fulfillment like none other, horseback riding brings me a sense of peace and well… well I also like to indulge in smoking wisteria”, you say shyly. You’re not sure how Jinwoo will react to that last bit of information but you decided to be honest about your habits. While wisteria was deadly to demons for most species it got them high but everyone didn’t agree to its uses. For you it always helped you calm down when your mind felt more like a prison than a retreat from the world.

“Oh thank the goddess”, Jinwoo says like a weight has been lifted off his chest. You stare at him in confusion until you see him pull out a dab pen. He grins at you, “So how about it princess? Do you care to indulge right now?” he says with a smirk.

xoxo

You both retreat to your nest making sure that no prying eyes are watching you. You both watch as knights pass the corridor and quickly slip in your room chuckling to yourselves. You feel like you’re 16 again sneaking out of the castle to meet with friends.

You both lay on the bed and you watch as Jinwoo takes a long drag from the pen. He exhales through his nose as you see the muscles in his body relax. He passes you the pen and you inhale the smoke into your lungs. You hold it in, feeling the plant work its way through your system and slowly exhale. You feel the effects immediately, your body relaxing and your mind floating. You look over to see Jinwoo perched on his arm watching you. You smile, “See something you like Jinwoo?”, you say as you close your eyes.

“Hmmm just a princess who’s beauty rivals the lunar goddess herself”, he says as he places a kiss on your temple.

You open your eyes to see deep blue ones staring right back at you. “So tell me more about yourself Jinwoo I want to know more than just what the tabloids say”.

He thinks to himself he’s not sure if it’s the effects of the wisteria or the connection between you two but he feels like he can open up to you more than he does with the tabloids. “Well as you know I’m the current ruler of the Nocturne kingdom. After the disappearance of my father the court was in shambles, scurrying for a ruler, no one thought I was capable until I awakened”, he says with a dark look on his face, “Shortly after his disappearance my mother fell ill, her disease is unknown even after countless doctors and healers have visited no one has been able to figure out what’s wrong with her and her health continues to decline. She’s been in a coma the past 3 years, they’re calling her illness the eternal slumber. I’ve had to grow up fast over the past few years as I still had to look after my younger sister. She’s the same age as Reign, she needed stability and I needed to rule a kingdom. So I decided to become the strongest alpha I could be after my awakening”, he takes a deep breath, “I’m not sure if you know but before my awakening I was called the weakest alpha. I was treated horribly as a result all the other alphas mocked me and some even physically abused me. I never spoke of any of this to my father. I didn't want him to look down on me either. After my awakening I took on dungeon after dungeon to grow my army and waged war with any kingdom that came after us. People feared me, I’d take the corpses of their warriors and turn them into my shadow soldiers. It’s how I got the name Shadow Monarch. Honestly Y/N I didn’t think much of finding a mate all this time. I’m only a few years younger than you but after so many years handling everything on my own I thought I was destined to a life of solitude but then I received this invite from your father. I didn’t come for your hand but to see an old friend who used to frequent our kingdom while I was growing up but, everything changed once I saw you it was like a zing”, he says as he looks up at you. 

Your heart breaks for him, you can’t imagine how much pain he’s been in all these years. You’ve only heard of his strength and command from the tabloids. You would’ve never imagined there was so much going on under the surface besides his fathers disappearance. From his time as a weak alpha, his sick mother, to basically raising his sister as his own. It’s all too much for someone so young to bear.

“Jinwoo I’m sorry you’ve had to shoulder so much responsibility on your own. I can’t even imagine the pain you’ve experienced over the past few years but I want you to know you’re not alone anymore”, you clasp his hands in yours “I swear by the lunar goddess to always stand by your side no matter what happens”.

Jinwoo feels tears well up in his eyes. He’s built so many walls around himself to protect his family and his kingdom he hasn’t opened up to anyone like this in years not even his sister knows what he’s done to get to where he is today. It feels like a weight is off his chest now that he’s finally able to be vulnerable and open up to someone. He must travel to the holy temple to thank the lunar goddess for blessing him with someone as perfect as you.

You see tears stream down his face and immediately think you’ve said something wrong. You’re about to apologize profusely until you see him lean in and feel his lips against yours. His lips were soft and pillowy against your own. You hesitated, this was your first kiss, sure you’ve read plenty of smutty romance novels and watched plenty of movies but, you have no real life experience! You decided to try to calm your mind and lean into the kiss following his lead. His lips were gentle against yours you could tell he could sense your hesitancy and was being gentle for your sake. Although you’re nervous, there’s also a surge of excitement going through you every time your lips meet it feels like fireworks dancing across your skin. His lips just felt so good against your own, You move your hands to his hair and gently tug on the strands and you hear him groan. You gasp at the sound and he uses this opportunity to slip his tongue in. Your tongues danced together and you can’t help but moan at the feeling. Warmth blossomed in your chest as the kiss deepened. Butterflies danced in your stomach as you feel Jinwoo move on top of you and thread his fingers through your hair.

To Jinwoo this kiss felt like seeing the sun for the first time after a long winter. You were just so incredibly soft all over and he couldn’t help but to grind against you to alleviate the ache in his pants. He could smell your arousal, your scent was everywhere, a mixture of lavender and honey that had his mouth watering. Goddess he’s never been this enamored with anyone before. He broke away from the kiss and buried himself in your neck right on your scent glands. You just smelled so good, he felt his canines lengthening and drool leak from his mouth as he looked at your neck. He could make you his right now and there’s nothing anyone could do to stop him. Lavender swirled in his blue eyes and he felt himself on the edge of control. He knew he had to reel it in before he lost control and his alpha took over and just took you right there, lunar union be damned.

He sat up and looked down at you. You looked ethereal as you looked up at him with kiss swollen lips and a dazed expression. He kissed your forehead before reluctantly getting off of you and laying on his back pulling you to rest on his chest.

You feel like you’re floating on cloud nine. You’ve never felt sensations like that before and the way Jinwoo is looking at you makes your face heat up. He holds you in his arms and you both purr in contentment perfectly happy with spending the day cuddling like this.

Time passes until you both hear a knock on the door and one of your handmaidens speaks, “Princess Y/N supper is ready. By any chance have you seen Alpha Sung? We’re unable to locate him in his quarters”.

You both chuckle and prepare to get up to join your family once more.

[gunilslaugh]

Beating Hearts

Kwak Jiseok Summary: Of course you would get stuck surviving a zombie apocalypse with the guy that you hate, Kwak Jiseok. (non-idol au) (zombie apocalypse au) WC:~6.8k  Warning:zombies, some gore

photo not mine credits to owner.

To think that just this morning everything was normal. You put on your school uniform, did your hair, had a quick breakfast before your mom was ushering you out the door. Scolding you about sleeping in and how you were going to be late. Despite the fact that school started in thirty minutes and it was only a fifteen minute drive.

Now you're pressed against the guy you swore you hated as the two of you hid in a storage cabinet. Heart racing out of your chest at the sounds of zombies banging and rocking the cabinet you hid in.

“It’s fine, zombies can’t open doors,” he says. He’s trying to help you be less afraid, yet the sounds of hissing zombies just on the other side of the thin metal door don’t allow his words to hold any weight. 

“That doesn’t really ma-” You cut your own self off as a yelp leaves your lung when a particularly strong zombie slams against the cabinet with a loud thump. “Feel any better.” You hate how your voice wavered, showing how scared you truly were. What you hate more is how you don’t hate the feeling of his free arm, that wasn’t holding the door to make sure it stayed shut, wrapping around you. Pulling you closer to him. You can feel his heart beating against your chest and you're pretty sure he can feel yours too. 

How did you end up like this though? It goes back to your second period class, p.e. It was a mile day, so everyone was feeling the dread. The burn you felt in your lungs from running soon turned into a burn of adrenaline pumping through your body. Jiwon, a girl in your class, fainted mid-mile causing everyone concern. You all began to crowd around her despite your p.e. the teacher telling you all to mind your business and keep running, that she would take care of Jiwon. Though you all did start running again. After witnessing Jiwon’s eyes turn bloodshot, her body convulsing, bones breaking, animalistic sounds leaving her mouth. Then to everyone's horror she launches herself at the teacher, sinking her teeth into her neck. The gruesome, bloody scene caused mass panic as you all began to flee the gym. 

After escaping through the double doors of the gym you discover that the rest of the school is in a similar hysteria of chaos. Students running and screaming, trying to get away from other students that have seemingly turned undead.

You feel as if all your senses are heightened as you look around for the safest path. However the sounds of a familiar yell made you whip your head in the direction. Suddenly the safest path didn’t matter as you saw Hyeongjun, your best friend, being tackled by a zombified student. Without hesitation you ran over to where Hyeongjun was. A bit of hesitation did fill your body as you arrived, not knowing quite what to do. There wasn’t really time to think, so your instincts thought for you and you found yourself harshly kicking the zombie off of Hyeongjun, quickly pulling him up from the ground and running away with him. 

“Are you ok?” you checked on him whilst looking for where to go.

Hyeonjun frantically nodded, heavy breaths leaving his lungs. “Thanks to you.”

“Hyeongjun! Y/n!” You hear your names being called. You catch sight of Jooyeon, another friend of yours, frantically waving you into the classroom of a door he has cracked open. Together you and Hyeongjun run towards the classroom. Jooyeon opens the door just a bit wider for you and Hyeongjun to enter before slamming it closed behind the two of you. 

“Are you two ok?” he asked after he turned the lock on the door. Both you and Hyeongjun nod, still panting. 

“We’re fine,” you told him.

“Almost wasn’t,” Hyeongjun said. He’s more saying it to himself though has the gravity of the situation started to weigh on his shoulders. He almost died.

“Hey, you’re ok. You’re my best friend, I got you,” you tell him with a smile and place your hand on his shoulder. A shaky sigh leaves Hyeongjun’s lips, but he still gives you a small smile in return. 

Although, in spite of the comforting words you spoke as you look down at the blood that covered your shoe from kicking the zombie just minutes ago you too begin to feel the gravity of the situation weighing in. You were in some kind of zombie apocalypse. Your life was endangered. 

“Are you sure they’re not infected?” A voice makes you sigh. Oh how you wished you didn’t recognize that annoying voice. The voice of the guy you hate the most, Kwak Jiseok. 

“Look if I was a zombie you would be the first person I bit,” you stated, looking at him with a glare. 

“Ok, I believe you,” he vexingly smirked. “What about him though?” he added, pointing at Hyeongjun. 

“If he was a zombie I’d throw you to him,” you replied giving a foe smile.

“Yeah and I’d gladly bite you if she did,” Hyeongjun goes on to say. This caused the other students of the classroom to look at Hyeongjun with a bit of shock. He was known for his quiet and reserved personality. They never thought they would hear him say such a thing. “What? I’m y/n’s best friend. If she doesn’t like Jiseok then neither do I,” he stated. 

“Look y/n I know you,” Jooyeon pauses briefly,” and apparently Hyeongjun, don’t have the most positive feelings towards Jiseok, but I think it’s obvious this isn’t really a situation where you guys should be at each other’s throats,” Jooyeon tried to mediate. 

“He started it by asking if we were infected,” you defended. 

“It’s a valid question to ask considering what’s going on outside,” Jiseok justified. 

“If Seungmin walked in here would you ask him if he was infected?” you challenged. Seungmin was Jiseok’s best friend. 

“I-” Would he? Jiseok had to think for a second. At the same time the mention of his best friend’s name got him thinking. Was Seungmin even ok? He has no idea where he was right now. He hoped Seungmn was ok, wherever he was.

“See?” you pointed. 

“Whatever, it still is a valid question. We don’t need any zombies in here with us,” Jiseok said. You knew he was right, but you would never say that out loud, so instead you rolled your eyes and walked away with Hyeongjun over to a set of desks that were away from Jiseok. 

Just like how Jiseok would never say out loud how he envied you right now. You had your best friend right beside you. You knew that each other were safe and were there to look out for one another. He would also never admit how as he watched you through the small glass window of the classroom door that he admired how you rushed to Hyeongjun and saved him without a second thought. Given the chance though he would call you dumb for running towards a zombie without any regards for your own safety. 

Feeling a pair of eyes on you, you turn your head to discover Jiseok staring at you. Before you can even do or say anything about it he’s looking away acting like he wasn’t staring at you. Hyeongjun too noticed how Jiseok was staring at you. The two of you exchanged questioning looks about it.

“I can’t believe we’re stuck with him,” you mumble. 

“I know, of all people,” Hyeongjun responded. “Jooyeon did have a point though. Now isn’t the time to be fighting.” 

“I know,” you reluctantly said with a less than happy look. “What should we do though? We can’t stay in this classroom forever?” 

Almost on cue you hear slams of zombies against the classroom door. Succeeding in making everyone jump with their heart rates spiking. 

“I-it’s fine..zombies c-can’t open doors,” Jooyeon's voice shook as he cautiously stepped away from the door. 

“We should barricade the door just in case,” Jiseok spoke. You look at him for a few moments. It’s not a bad idea. You look at Hyeongjun and he nods in agreement, so the two of you go to work picking up a desk and moving it to block the door. Jiseok is a bit surprised by your compliance, yet joins you and Hyeongjun in blocking the door. 

“Here,” you say, handing Jiseok a chair to add to the barricade.

“Thanks.” He takes the chair from you. His fingers brush against your despite that there was plenty of room elsewhere for him to grab the chair. You thought he did it on purpose to simply annoy you. Believe it or not his finger brushing against yours was actually an accident. Jiseok wasn’t looking at the chair when he took it from you but rather where he planned to stack it, so the feeling of your skin brushing against his caught him by surprise. The touch was brief, but he was still able to feel how cold your fingers were. He now looks over to where you and Hyeongjun were grabbing some more chairs. He notices how you’re only wearing your p.e. uniform. It certainly wasn’t the warmest set of clothes. Especially for the science room you were in that was known for being cold. Jiseok’s brows knit together as he feels a weird feeling in his chest. A feeling that he thankfully can’t focus on too long due to the sounds of more zombies banging and growling on the other side of the door. 

The barricade was finished and the only thing left to do for the time being was to sit around. Maybe trying to come up with ideas for what to do. The sounds of the undead fill the silence, not helping anyone feel calm. You sit with your back against a wall, knees brought up to your chest. The cool air of the room dancing across your exposed arms and legs. The zombie apocalypse really couldn’t have waited until after you finished gym.

A phone going off caught everyone’s attention. It was Jiseok’s, who was quick to pull the phone from his pocket. A sigh of relief leaves his lungs when he reads Seungmin’s name from his screen. 

“Hello,” he answered. “Yeah man I’m alright. I’m in room 307 with Jooyeon, Hyeongjun and…y/n,” he adds your name with some reluctance. You let out a scoff at it. “Yeah I know, whatever. Are you alright?” he checked on Seungmin. Much to Jiseok’s ease he found out that Seungmin was indeed ok. That he was with Gunil and Jungsu and coincidentally he was in room 507 which was directly one story above the room you all were currently in. Jiseok made his way to the window of the classroom checking that it was clear of zombies first before he opened it up. 

“What are you doing?” you questioned him. Only for him to shush you.

“Guys!’ You Hear Jiseok shout as he’s leaning out the window, looking up. You, Hyeongjun and Jooyeon also make your way to the window cramping your bodies together as you peer out of the window.

“Y/n it really is you,” you hear Jungsu call from above. He, Seungmin and Gunil are all peering down at the group of you. 

“Yeah it’s me. How are you guys?” you hollered. 

“We’re ok!” he confirmed. 

“How do you like being stuck with Jiseok?” Seungmin teasingly asked. 

“Shut up!” you tell him to which he laughs. 

“I’m not happy about being stuck with you either,” Jiseok states. 

“Why would you be?” you fired back. 

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry, but we should try to meet up don’t you think?” Seungmin interjected. Jiseok is the first to nod in agreement. 

“How do we do that though? It’s too dangerous for either of us to leave the rooms we’re in,” Jooyeon prompted. 

“I guess we need to find a way for you guys to come up or us to come down,” Gunil stated. 

“Are you crazy? You want us to scale the building?” Hyeongjun clearly didn’t like the idea. 

“Yeah, I don’t know.” Jungsu also showed leeriness towards the idea. 

“We’ll come up to you guys,” Jiseok suddenly answered. 

“Excuse you. Why do you get to decide that?” you harshly questioned Jiseok. 

“The best option for us is to get to the roof, which will be easier to do from the second floor. We can go to the nurses office that is down the hall and get the curtains to use as a rope,” Jiseok explained. 

“Who is we exactly?” you questioned, pulling yourself back in from the window and folding your arms over your chest.

“Me and you.” He points to himself then you. 

“No,” you immediately decline. 

“Don’t be difficult. It’s not like I want to go with you, but we’re the best two options. Jooyeon is too much of a coward-”

“Aye!” Jooyeon shouts offended. Jiseok turns and gives him a look.

“Do you want to come with me then?” he probed. The color of Jooyeon’s face drained at the mere thought of venturing out of the room. 

 “O-Ok you’re right I’m a coward, but you didn’t need to say it like that,” Jooyeon says, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with anyone. 

“I can go,” Hyeongjun offered. 

“No,” you quickly shut down his offer. “I feel better knowing you’re safe in here,” you tell him. Hyeongjun nods. A relieved breath leaves his lungs. Truth be told he was also terrified of leaving the room after his last encounter with a zombie that almost took his life, but for you and your safety he would risk it. 

“See, that leaves you and me,” Jiseok says. You let out an annoyed sigh. 

“Fine, but don’t expect me to protect you. Watch your own back,” you told him. Though you’re not sure if your words really hold any weight. Would you protect Jiseok if a zombie attacked him? You hate to admit it, but you don’t think you hate Jiseok enough to see him become zombie feed. 

“I’m more than capable of looking out for myself,” he voices. 

The two of you make your way over to the barricaded door, moving the stacked desks and chairs just enough for you two to slip by. 

“Be careful,” Hyeongjun sincerely tells you with a pleading look in his eyes. 

“I will, don’t worry,” you assure him. Despite your calming words you can feel your heart make its way into your throat. 

“Ready?” Jiseok checked. You can see the uneasiness in his eyes. 

“As I’ll ever be,” you reply. Deep breaths fall from your lungs as you approach the classroom door. Jiseok quietly cracks the door open as he scans the surroundings. Zombies linger in the hall. Fortunately the path to the nurses office is pretty clear. The pair of you will still have to avoid some zombies though. 

“We have to be quiet,” he tells you as he opens the door far enough for you two to slip out. 

“I know,” you whisper. 

Both of you stay close to the wall as you silently creep your way to the nurses office. You feel like your heart rate peaks with each tap of your steps against the school's floors. Were footsteps always so loud? You forget how to breathe as you sneak past the first zombie that was distracted by feasting on the corpse of an unfortunate student. 

“Hey, keep moving.” All of the sudden you felt Jiseok’s warm fingers wrapping around your wrist. You didn’t even notice how your footsteps stopped as you stared at the gruesome sight in front of you. You can feel your pulse drum against his fingers and you wonder if he can feel it too. Any other time you would have immediately would have yanked your wrist from his hold, however right now you didn’t seem to care. 

Jiseok can feel your pulse under his fingers. He also feels how cold your skin is against his. It once more reminds him of your less than warm attire. He feels that odd feeling stirring in his chest again, however this is no time to pay attention to it. He keeps his eyes trained on the door to the nurses office. Oddly enough he finds the feeling of your pulse drumming against his hold comforting, he is grateful that you didn’t instantly rip it away from his grasp. 

Only after closing the door to the nurse’s office are you somewhat able to find your breath. Jiseok goes to collect the curtains whilst you make your way over to the desk, opening up the bottom drawer. 

“What are you doing?” Jiseok asked you. 

“The nurse keeps snacks in here,” you answered, holding up a granola bar. You load the snacks up into a discarded purse that more than likely belonged to the nurse. Then you move to help Jiseok with the curtains. Standing on the bed as you reach to undo the clasps that connected the curtain to the overhanging rod. 

BANG!

Jiseok and you jump out of your skin as the door to the nurses office (not the one you entered in, but the one that connects the nurses office to the main office. Both of you failed to notice that it wasn’t full shut.) flew open slamming into the wall. Zombies began to pile into the room. 

“What do we do?” Jiseok panics as the zombies quickly made their way towards you both. 

“This way,” You quickly grabbed Jiseok’s hand and drug him over to the metal storage cabinet that was just beside the beds. You open the door to the storage cabinet and just as you’re about to step inside a zombie grabs Jiseok by his school uniform jacket. Jiseok’s hand grips yours so hard it hurts as he tries to free himself from the zombie’s clutches. Fear evidently spiking in him. Just then you notice a pair of scissors on the top shelf of the cabinet. You reach up with your free hand grabbing the scissors and start to move the scissors in his direction.

“What are you-?” For a second Jiseok is scared you’re going to stab him with the scissors. You did tell him you wouldn’t protect him. However the scissors passed right by his head, stabbing into the zombie's head that was holding him. You’re then able to pull Jiseok into the cabinet and shut the doors. It all happened so fast that Jiseok can hardly process what happened. You saved him. You saved him. You saved him. 

“You’re welcome,” you told him matter-of-factly. 

“R-right, t-thank you,” he stuttered out, still in shock. Zombies gathered around the cabinet trying to get to you and Jiseok. 

“Jiseok I swear if I die because of your stupid plan to get the curtains I’m gonna-” Your words get cut off as zombies rock the metal cabinet, causing you to fall into his chest. 

“It’s fine, zombies can’t open doors,” he says. He’s trying to help you be less afraid, yet the sounds of hissing zombies just on the other side of the thin metal door don’t allow his words to hold any weight. 

“That doesn’t really ma-” You cut your own self off as a yelp leaves your lung when a particularly strong zombie slams against the cabinet with a loud thump. “Feel any better.” You hate how your voice wavered, showing how scared you truly were. What you hate more is how you don’t hate the feeling of his free arm, that wasn’t holding the door to make sure it stayed shut, wrapping around you. Pulling you closer to him. You can feel his heart beating against your chest and you're pretty sure he can feel yours too. 

“You said you wouldn’t protect me,” he brought up. You can feel his breath ghost across the side of your face. You don’t know if he’s insane for wanting to talk about that now or if he’s trying to distract you from your current situation.

You let out a mix of a scoff and a sigh. “Should I have let you be zombie feed?” 

“No, I’m grateful that you saved me.” He takes a breath. “And I’m sorry that I took Seungmin from you all those years ago.” There it was, the old wound, the reason why you hated Jiseok. He stole Seungmin from you. Before you and Hyeongjun became best friends Seungmin was your best friend. In a second the already cramped storage cabinet felt all too small. 

“Why would you bring that up now?” Jiseok feels a tinge in his heart at how much hurt your voice is filled with. It had been so many years since then, yet your tone sounded as if it happened yesterday. 

“Cause I almost just died and all I could think about was how I never apologized to you,” he revealed. “I never meant to steal him from you either. Truthfully I wanted to be friends with both of you, but before I knew what was happening you were gone. Then you were laughing with Hyeongjun and I never knew how to approach you,” he confessed. 

“Before you knew what was happening? You and Seungmin kept making plans without me. At first I thought ok they’re doing bro things or whatever, but then it didn’t seem like either of you cared that I wasn’t there, so I gave up. Ended up befriending Hyeongjun,” you told your side of the story. Guilt filled Jiseok’s stomach. He supposes him and Seungmin did get caught up doing quote unquote bro things and by the time they realized they were leaving you out you were already gone.

“You’re right it-” Jiseok begins to speak. 

“Look, it's fine. If it didn’t happen I wouldn’t be friends with Hyeongjun and I can’t imagine my life without him, so let’s just let it be in the past,” you tried to end the wound poking conversation. Jiseok finds discomfort in his stomach at the declaration that you can’t imagine your life without Hyeongjun. He knows that he’s your best friend. Any best friend would say that they can’t imagine their life without their best friend. Yet he also doesn’t like how the image of you putting your hand on Hyeongjun’s shoulder flashes through his mind or how Hyeongjun was known for not being a touchy person, yet he never shied away from your touch. He was jealous. 

“It sounds like the zombies are gone,” he notes, changing the topic. He’s right, the rocking of the storage cabinet you two were hiding in stopped and you could hear the sounds of zombies roaming outside but not in the nurse's office.

“Let’s get the curtains and get out of here then.” You pull away from Jiseok and open the cabinet door. You’ll blame missing the feeling of his warmth on your dingy p.e. uniform that provided you with little warmth. Jiseok can’t think of anything to blame for missing the feeling of you close other than he liked having you close. He likes having you so close that he could feel your heartbeat.

The curtains are collected and messily folded in Jiseok’s arms while you carry the purse you filled with snacks. The venture back to the classroom almost feels like you walked through a fog because after vacating the nurse’s office the next thing you remember is the feeling of Hyeongjun’s arms pulling you into a hug. 

“Are you ok? We heard a lot of noise that sounded like it came from the nurses office and you two were gone for so long I started to think that I lost you and I-” Hyeongjun messily rambled. 

“I’m ok Hyeongjun,” you affirmed, hugging him back. 

Jealousy, that was indeed the discomfort Jiseok felt in his stomach. The tinge he felt in his chest, in his heart were the feelings he has for you. It hits Jiseok as he watches the hug you and Hyeongjun share. Suddenly he feels like he wants to throw up, as if all his repressed feelings for you were bubbling up to the surface. Because maybe all those years ago when he wanted to be friends with you and Seungmin it was actually him wanting to be closer to you. Oh how he terribly messed that up. 

Hyeongjun and you part from your hug. The familiar feeling of eyes on you caused you to turn your head. Once more you find Jiseok staring at you. His eyes widen slightly as you catch him. He clears his throat and practically marches over to the window with the curtains. 

“We got them!” he announces to the group of guys above. 

“What took you so long we were getting worried!” Seungmin called out. Jiseok and you exchange looks, recalling the events that happened in the nurse’s office just moments ago. 

“Sorry, we’re ok. I almost became zombie food, but y/n saved me,” Jiseok told. 

“Y/n saved you?” Seungmin, Jungsu and Gunil and chorused in surprise. Jooyeon and Hyeongjun also wear matching looks of shock at the news.

“Let’s just tie the curtains together,” you quickly say. 

Once the curtains were tied it took a few attempts before you guys were able to toss them up the upper floor, but somehow you managed to do it. Now the four of you stared at the makeshift rope of curtains.

“Who wants to go first?” Jooyeon questioned, clearly not wanting to be the one to test out the durability of the curtains. All of you exchange looks with one another. When you lock eyes with Jiseok your heart begins to beat faster and it feels like the open classroom you’re in is too small.

“I’ll go first,” you volunteer. Wanting to get away from whatever feelings were developing in your chest. You approach the window and grasp the curtain with shaky hands and begin your  ascend to the second floor. 

When you reach the second floor two hands reach out in front of you to help you in. One belongs to Seungmin and the other belongs to Jungsu. You chose to grab Jungsu’s. His was closer, you reasoned. Didn’t have anything to do with old wounds getting reopened. The other three safely made the climb up to the second floor. Jiseok and Seungmin share a brotherly hug at their happy reunion.

You used to think that an apology was all that you needed. Now though, as you watch Jiseok and Seungmin hug. You realize maybe you held a lot of repressed hurt that you covered with hatred. Maybe you always wanted to hear their side of the story, but were too afraid that the answer would be that they didn’t care to be your friend anymore. Maybe you did leave them first because you were scared of being disregarded. 

“Did something else happen in the nurse’s office?” Hyeongjun quietly asked you, noticing how you were looking at Seungmin and Jiseok. You pull your eyes away from them to look at Hyeongjun. 

“Jiseok almost died,” you told the part of the story that everyone already knew. 

“Yeah?” Hyeongjun looked at you to continue. You leaned closer to his ear to whisper the rest. 

“And he said the only thing he could think about was how he never apologized,�� you informed. Hyeongjun’s eyes widen, eyebrows rising with them. 

“He apologized?” he inferred. 

“Yeah…he did,” you say. 

“Are you ok?” he checks on you. 

“I don’t know,” you reply honestly. “I think I need to talk to them though. I think we have a conversation that’s long overdue.” Hyeongjun nods understandingly. 

“I’m here whenever you need me,” he reminds you. 

“I know, thank you,” you nod, giving him an almost imperceivable smile. Your eyes wander back to where Seungmin and Jiseok stood to find them already staring at you and Hyeongjun.

Presently the larger group that consisted of the seven of you sat in a circle on the floor of the classroom. Thankfully for you this classroom was warmer than the science one, you could still feel the cold creeping on your skin though. The snacks you took from the nurse’s office had been passed around to everyone and you were currently discussing what the best plan would be to make it onto the school's roof. 

“We could try to take the stairs,” Jungsu suggested.

“But what if the door is locked?” Jooyeon countered. 

“There’s a ladder in the janitor's room that leads to the roof,” you disclosed. A perplexed look falls over everyone's faces. 

“How do you know that?” Hyeongjun asked you. 

“I used it once. It was last year Mr. Park asked me to go borrow a screwdriver from the janitor. When I entered the room the janitor said I had good timing saying that he needed an extra hand on the roof. I expected us to walk to the stairs but instead he started up the ladder and opened a hatch to the roof,” you told. 

“The janitor’s room is kinda far from here though isn’t it?” Gunil brought up. 

“Yeah, it’s in the back of the school by the library,” you nodded. 

“So the stairs are the safer route, but we don’t know if the doors are unlocked and the janitor’s room has a ladder that we know will lead to the roof, but it’s the riskier path,” Seumgmin concluded. 

“Or we could climb from the window again,” Jooyeon suggested. 

“Would you like to go first in doing that?” you challenged him. 

“Well..um..maybe not.” Jooyeon scratched the back of his neck. 

“Plus we don’t have anything to secure the curtains to either,” Jisesok added.

“If we could get one or two people on the roof to secure the curtain it’s not a bad idea actually,” Seungmin said. 

“Still we need to figure out how to get there,” you reminded. 

“Maybe we don’t need to walk through the halls,” Gunil says. 

“What do you mean?” you asked him. Gunil gets up and heads over to the window. The rest of you get off from your spots on the floor and follow him over to the window. Gunil opens up the window then points several classrooms over.

“If someone can get over to the drainage pipe they can use it to climb up onto the roof,” he explained. 

“I don’t know, that seems really sketchy,” Jungsu voices his concern. 

“Yeah what if they fall?” You all look down to see the zombies roaming around. One misstep and they’d be zombie dinner. 

“Two people can go. To look out for one another,” Gunil suggested. Glancing to the side your gaze meets with Jiseok’s. You remember the feeling of his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you against him. The warmth of his breath across your face. The rhythm of his beating heart. Why did going with him not sound like the worst idea ever?

Jiseok recalls the feeling of your hand grabbing his. How you saved him from the vicious zombie that desperately wanted to taste his flesh. How you felt in his arms. The drumming of your heart against his chest. Could he hold you close again if he volunteered you and him to go?

“You and I can go then.” Seungmin’s voice broke whatever trance you and Jiseok were having. He was referring to him and Gunil. Jiseok feels a pang of disappointment resonate in him as he watches Gunil and Seungmin prepare to go out. 

As Gunil and Seungmin carefully ventured out the window the remaining five of you anxiously watched from the window. Breaths hitching with every step that they take. However when Jiseok takes a step back resulting in his back resting against your shoulder your breath hitches for a different reason. You should be shoving him away. Telling him to “Watch it!” Yet instead you say nothing, acting like you didn’t notice his sudden contact. 

Jiseok is also surprised when you remain silent. He was also expecting you to shove him away and shouting some comment. He briefly looks over his shoulder to try and gauge your reaction. Only to see that your eyes are trained outside of the window watching as Gunil and Seungmin make their way onto the roof. There’s no way you didn’t notice though, so how come you were acting like you didn’t? 

There’s no time for Jiseok to question you because soon enough you are making your second ascent up the makeshift curtain rope, this time climbing onto the roof. By the time you’re all settled on the roof the sun is beginning to make its way down to the horizon. Once more you are reminded of your p.e uniform feeling the temperature dropping. 

“Here,” Hyeongjun offers you his uniform jacket seeing how goosebumps prick your skin. 

“Thanks,” you tell him, slipping your arms into the sleeves. 

Jiseok eyes darken as he sees you in Hyeongjun’s jacket. Jealousy conjured up in his stomach once more. That should be his jacket you're wearing. He wants it to be his jacket that you’re wearing. A smile pricks at the corners of his lips at the thought of you in his clothes. 

“What really happened in the nurse’s office?” Seungmin’s voice pulls Jiseok back. 

“What do you mean? I told you what happened,” Jiseok responded. 

“Then why are you glaring at Hyeongjun and not y/n?” he prompted. 

“What? I’m not,” Jiseok denied. 

“Dude you look jealous,” Seungmin told him. Jiseok sighs he knows that he’s been caught. 

“Ok, I apologized to y/n about taking you from her and I also realized some…things,” Jiseok tells. Seungmin feels some guilt bubble in his stomach at the mention of your once friendship. He also regretted how your friendship with each other ended. 

“Some things?” he pressed. 

“I like her.” It’s the first time he’s said it outloud. It makes the feelings he has for you feel more real. “I think I might have liked her since the beginning, but man I really messed that up,” he admits. 

“What are you gonna do?” Seungmin questioned. 

“I don’t know,” Jiseok replied honestly. “I should probably talk to her, but…” His eyes fall to where you and Hyeongjun are sitting together. “I never know how to go about that.” 

The moon replaced the sun in the sky. The stars twinkling brightly above as if nothing in the world had changed. Gunil and Jungsu laid passed out together. Jooyeon made himself comfortable on partially broken desks. Seungmin was sleeping facing the ledge of a wall. Hyeongjun was snoozing away beside you. He’s curled up into a ball almost like a cat. Then hear a bit of a shaky breath from him. Taking a closer look at him you notice that he’s shivering. A frown falls upon your face. You take off his uniform jacket that he had given you and drape it over his cold frame. Almost instantly you see him relax, snuggling into the warm fabric.

Next thing you know you feel the weight of something landing on your lap. You see that it’s a uniform jacket. Looking up you see Jiseok standing there. 

“Are you trying to catch hypothermia?” he scolded you. 

“He was shivering,” you justified. 

“Like you wouldn’t be.” He was right. You knew it was only a matter of minutes before you would lose to the cold crisp night air.

“I know it’s contaminated by my germs, but it’s better than freezing.” He takes his jacket from your lap to properly drape it over your shoulders. You instantly feel the warmth of his jacket, his warmth transfer to you. 

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” you tell him, pulling his jacket tighter around you.

“I have something to tell you too,” he says. The two of you stand up and walk over to the edge of the roof. 

“What did you want to tell me?” he asked you. 

“I guess I’ve come to realize some things,” you started. Jiseok can feel his heart pick up, waiting for you to continue. “You said that before you knew what was happening I was gone. That I was laughing with Hyeongjun. I guess that that could be possible. I think I actually did leave you and Seungmin first,” you say. 

“No, you’re right. We were leaving you out, but I swear it wasn’t on purpose,” he promised you. “We really did just get caught up in doing guy things and by the time we realized that we were leaving you out, you were gone.” 

“I could have told you two how I felt though. That I felt left out, but instead I just pulled away because I was scared that if I talked to you guys you would say that you didn’t want to be friends with me anymore,” you untangled. 

“Why would we not want to be friends with you anymore?” Jiseok looked at you with confused and almost hurt eyes. 

“Cause you two looked so complete without me. I remember it was a day the two of you went to see a movie I had no interest in together. I guess you guys decided to stop for ice cream together afterwards. I happened to see that. I walked past the ice cream shop. I saw you both sitting at a table eating your ice creams and laughing. It seemed like you two didn’t miss me at all. No one would have guessed that there was a third friend who was missing. Just seemed like you guys didn’t need me,” you finally came clean after so many years, too many years. 

Jiseok recalls the day that you’re talking about and he can’t imagine the pain you must have felt. Seeing your two friends having fun without you. Like it didn’t even matter that you weren’t with them. Like they didn’t want you. 

“I’m so sorry y/n,” he apologized. He reaches out for your hands and you let him hold them. 

“It felt like you two were leaving me behind, so I figured I’d leave first instead of being abandoned.” Jiseok squeezes your hands. 

“We weren’t leaving you behind. Cause you know I have also realized some things,” he tells you. 

“What things?” you asked. 

“I approached you and Seungmin because I wanted to be closer to you. And I hate how close you and Hyeongjun are. I want to be a person you can’t imagine your life without. I want you to wear my clothes.” He lets go of one of your hands to briefly tug on the cuff of his jacket. “I’m jealous over how close you and Hyeongjun are.” He pauses for a second preparing for his next words. “I’m jealous because I like you,” he confessed. 

You can feel your heart rate pick up and for the first time in a while it’s not because of any zombies. It’s because of your own feelings, your feelings for Jiseok. 

“I hate that I don’t hate being so close to you,” you take a step closer to Jiseok. Moving your hands to hold his elbows. Jiseok feels his heart race. “I hate that I felt safe when you wrapped your arm around me in that storage cabinet.” You take another step closer to him. “I realized that the main reason why I hated you was to distract myself from the pain I felt over losing Seungmin to you. After you apologized my head felt like such a mess because I didn’t hate you anymore.” you state. 

“If you don’t hate me then?” he hesitantly asked, not wanting to get overly hopeful. You trail a hand up his chest to rest over his heart, feeling the way it beats against your palm. 

“I want to be close to you.” You don’t know what the future holds. You don’t know if you will survive this zombie apocalypse, yet as you feel his heartbeat you somehow feel like it’s all you need. That whatever happens you’ll be ok, as long as your hearts are beating. “I want to be with you.” 

~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~

The morning sun rises, lighting up the school rooftop you’ve seeked refuge in. 

“It must really be the end of the world,” Seungmin says as he, Gunil, Jungsu, Jooyeon and Hyeongjun stare at you and Jiseok sleeping together. You’re tucked into his side lying on his chest as he has his arm wrapped around you. 

“You know what they say love and hate are two sides of the same coin,” Jooyeon states. 

“Ok it really is the end of the world. Jooyeon is being psychological,” Hyeongjun chimed. 

“Hey! I can be very psychological. I just don’t get many opportunities to be,” Jooyeon firmly declared. 

~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~<3~

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[positive-mystic]

Take a deep breath, you've made it this far.

It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Healing isn’t linear, and your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. There are days when getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain, and that’s okay. You’re still strong. You’re still worthy.

Sometimes, mental health is messy, but that doesn’t make it any less valid. No matter where you are in your process, be gentle with yourself. Progress may come in tiny steps, but those steps matter.

You don’t have to have everything figured out. You’re allowed to rest, to take breaks, to ask for help. It’s okay to not have all the answers, but it’s important to take care of yourself and recognize your worth—on your good days and on your harder days.

Remember, you are enough. You deserve kindness, both from others and from yourself. Keep going at your own pace. You are never alone. 💖

[itstova]

Valentine’s Day.

it was a day you cared to forget. as with most days. things weren’t the same without him. the evenings you would spend laying on his chest, listening to him sing is now filled with dreaded silence. you have yet to set foot back into his office. things are exactly as he left them.

It was hard but everyday you picked yourself up to try and conquer the day. that was until something strange happened. while make lunch after finishing up some work on your computer, your doorbell chimed. you looked over to the security camera and notice no one was there but someone left something at your door. You were quite hesitant at first about opening the door but when you did you was it was a bouquet of two dozen roses with a small note attached.

“to my person, I’ll love you forever and always”

your eyes grew wide as you read the card, cause their was only one person to ever call you that but you knew it was unlikely. he was gone. you turn and take the roses onto the house and prepare two separate vases for them. One in the kitchen and one in your bedroom. after that moment you never really thought to much about who sent the flowers with the message but it did always linger in the back of your mind from time to time.

the following year, on Valentine’s Day , your walking home from the grocery store and you notice on your front porch there are another bouquet of roses. With a note attached. Just as the ones you received last year. You take your groceries into the house and go back to retrieve the flowers and the note read the same as before.

“to my person, I’ll love you forever and always”

you sit the flowers down on the table in your foyer and go to check the security cameras to see if you could see who brought them. but for whatever reason your camera stopped working. So you still didn’t have an idea of who it could be. so you just simply put them away but your senses was heightened because you weren’t sure if it was an admirer or someone with bad intentions setting a trap. You had been on edge ever since that evening you can’t stand to relive.

as the months turned into years. every year for 5 years valentines, like clockwork you received two dozen roses with the same note every year. but this year, year 6 was different the note said.

“together or apart, you will always have my heart , xoxo ken”

you’re eyes widened. your heart skipped a beat. Could this be.? no it couldn’t . You look at the paper surrounding the flowers and realize it’s from the local flower shop not to far from your house. You grab your keys and rush out the door. With a small inclination that maybe, just maybe he had somehow returned but when you walked in only the older gentleman who owns the shop, his grandson, and a few patrons were present.

“You finally came” the shop owner said. Looking at you with warm eyes. “Excuse me”. he reaches under his desk and hand you an envelope with his stamp on it. “for you”. you ran your fingers across the seal, reminiscing of him all over again before tearing into the letter.

My Dearest Princess,

If love could defy time, I would be at your side even now. The weight of distance, of absence, is nothing compared to the way my soul lingers beside you. I miss you in ways words cannot capture—your voice, your warmth, the quiet moments that made life worth more than duty and obligation.

Even though I am gone, know this: I will always be with you. In the whisper of the wind against your skin, in the golden light of the morning sun, in the steady rhythm of your heartbeat—I am there. You were my peace in a world of chaos, and my love for you is eternal.

Be strong, my princess. Live, love, and find happiness. That is my only wish.

Yours, always and forever,

Kento

your heart sank. tears welled in your eyes. “h..how did you get this” you ask the owner in a shaky voice. “the day before he left for his mission, he came by and asked for some blank cards and bought all those roses”. you traced your finger across the letter , trying to hold back the tears that so desperately wanted to break free. “he told me to promise him that if he was not to return, make sure you knew he will always love you” the owner spoke ,placing a soft hand on your shoulder.

A broken sob escaped your lips as you clutched the letter to your chest, as if holding it tighter could bring him back. The weight of his words settled deep in your heart, each sentence a reminder of the love he left behind—love that would never fade, even in his absence.

Your fingers trembled as you reached for one of the roses, its petals slightly wilted but still carrying the faintest trace of his presence. He had thought of you until the very end. Even knowing what lay ahead, his last act was ensuring you would never question how much you meant to him. Tears finally slipped down your cheeks, silent yet heavy with grief and love. The owner gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze before stepping away, leaving you alone with the echoes of a love that would never truly be lost.

With a deep, shaky breath, you whispered, “I love you too, Kento.”And in the quiet, you almost swore you could hear his voice—soft, steady, and unwavering.

“I know, my princess.”

[aurosoul]

you’ve never known true power until you refill all your prescriptions at once and even the Costco pharmacists get scared

[hopesandmountains]

I think people underestimate the idea of a safe space.

For people who have a troubled home life and a stressful job, there seems to be no escape.

And if you are battling emotional trauma or illness, one of the main ways to heal is to let yourself be vulnerable and relieve/feel that pain.

And if you don’t have a safe place at home and if you don’t have a safe place with friends, you will try to carry that pain for as long as possible before the burden gets too heavy and you have to unload some of emotions/vulnerability onto whoever.

And this is where I’ve seen so many people fall into a cycle, where they trust the wrong people who only traumatize them more. Which makes everything worse and causing unhealthy coping mechanisms and defense strategies that pushes everyone else away. And one of the types of people who aren’t pushed away are people who don’t care about boundaries and are seeking out vulnerable people, who will just traumatize and abuse you more until they can break you down.

And this is such an awful cycle to go through.

And the fear of being in that situation (or being in that situation again) causes you not to trust people. And this is where people either stay in isolation, or they try and find a way to move forward.

One of the key things to learn is how to discern against people you can trust and people you can’t. And that takes having boundaries. If someone lies or manipulated or puts you down or is just flat out self serving that should be a massive red flag. And sure you can try and give people second chances, sometimes trauma responses trigger when there really is not actual danger or threat.

But this is also why it’s important to take things slow.

As much as you want to find a quick solution, and seeing everyone else quickly jumping into relationships, you have to give yourself time to clearly see the situation.

One major red flag is when someone will try to rush the process along.

Entering a new relationship can trigger all sorts of fears and insecurities and vulnerability. And this can make you fragile and a little unsure of yourself. And this is where bad people can rush you before you can really grasp what’s going on and sink their teeth into you and get you attached before you really realize what’s going on.

And that’s scary.

Some people will stay in denial, some people can’t handle the extra trauma so they avoid it and ignore what’s going on, which leads to them going back because they are in denial about what’s wrong.

And part of the problem is since childhood they’ve been taught to ignore that feeling of everything being wrong (parents will argue and fight and maybe even be abusive, and then deny anything is wrong and claim they have a happy home life).

So they ignore that feeling of something being wrong and stay. And then get to a point where it’s just too tough to leave so they stay longer.

And yes this is tragic.

But it’s also never too late to break the cycle and more importantly for a lot of people it’s not too late to avoid that cycle.

There are people out there you can trust.

And you don’t have to treat everything like a ticking time bomb, you can learn to trust people slowly and have a wide social support net.

Really the key is unlearning.

People mimic their relationships around what they know, and their family, family friends, some of their own friends from childhood, toxic situations they’ve been in or see from social media.

And it’s just so difficult for people to tell something is wrong when they’ve never been taught.

They carry a deep shame within them so refuse to open up to people, and have abandonment issues and insecurities, so they see rejection when there is none.

And that mental trap they’ve built for themselves is so strong.

And when they sense rejection they pull away or have defense mechanisms, which push most people looking for healthy relationships away since all they see is someone pulling away or acting out.

But it’s also important to realize that most people are understanding.

If you can tell them what’s going on and communicate that. Tell them you need time but you want to make things work. A lot of people will work with you.

And the ones that don’t, well that’s okay, you want to open up to someone safe and that’s someone who will be understanding.

And that takes personal work.

Learning how to communicate your feelings and needs really isn’t easy, especially when you yourself are unsure of what those even are.

And quite frankly there will be people out there that just aren’t for you.

And you will have to work on your abandonment response because you will have to be okay with that if you ever are going to find the right person for you.

And you will have to believe that there is someone out there for you during this time of pain and insecurity.

But there’s always hope.

And there’s always good people out there.

It just may take work to get there and to do so safely for you.

And that’s okay

Take things slowly and one step at a time.