#you’re now the website that responds with shit

[thebookworm0001]

So Elon Musk owns twitter and is quickly burning it to the ground right

Apparently apparently the press office at twitter

Is going to respond to journalists’ email requests

with poop emojis

I can’t

[ellavatorz]

Kiss me Plenty || c.b. x reader

summary: you play the “I can’t stop kissing you,” prank on colby.

tags/cw: implied smut, kisses (lots of ‘em), tooth-rotting sweet fluff, established relationship, youtuber(s) relationship.

a/n: there isn’t much for me to say except that I have a very strong yearn for colby to be kissed 24/7. if that man isn’t being kissed at every second of the day like he deserves, then the world is a cruel joke of a place.

and a huge thank you to everyone who enjoyed my last work, you guys are so sweet T.T happy holidays!

- - -

You have the camera set up first thing in the morning. It’s hidden out of visible-sight and is focused on Colby’s usual spot; his desk, where he normally films intros to videos amongst other tasks in respect to his shared channel with Sam.

The plot of your video to be filmed today is explained to your audience. All while a grin is spread on your lips. “Today’s goal is to annoy the shit out of Colby by kissing the hell out of him. I don’t know how he’ll react considering he’s hyper-affectionate as it is… but its also normally something he does rather than me initiating it. So maybe he’ll suspect something right off the bat? Who knows!”

By the time Colby has migrated from your shared bed to his desk, you’re just outside the door, anxiously prepared for whatever may come of the situation. Without much of an extravagant entrance, you move toward where he is and stand behind him. His eyes are glued to the screen and you pretend to seem intrigued by whatever it is he’s looking at.

A yawn escapes his mouth as he reaches an arm behind himself, subconsciously searching for any part of you to grasp onto and reel in. “Good morning, baby.” He rasps, last night’s rest still grappling at his body.

“Morning,” you reply, allowing him to pull you closer. You take this as an advantage to wrap your arms around his shoulders from where you now stand beside him. “What are you working on today?”

Colby’s gaze is still caught on the screen when his own arm is snaked around your waist. His eyes flicker from one end to another, clearly focused on whatever he’s reading. “Just emails right now. I have a bit of review and editing tasks to get done on the apparel website too..”

“Ah, I see.” You sigh. Your eyes flash a mischievous glint toward the camera before you begin leaning into his space to plant a soft peck to his cheek. “Do you need anything? Water? Snacks?”

Still enraptured by work, he acknowledges your question half-heartedly. “No, love. Thank you though.”

You feign a frown at his response and begin swaying his chair left to right when the hold on your waist is replaced by the computer’s mouse. He scrolls through several pages, reading what he can manage to as you continue rocking his chair.

“What time do you think you’ll be done?” You question innocently, though you both are aware that his work is capable of enveloping the entirety of his day. He shrugs, too focused to respond. You take this as an opportunity to leave a kiss on the crown of his head, moving behind his chair to loosely circle your arms around his neck. “I think I’m gonna finish my Christmas shopping while you’re still here.”

He hums and it’s evident that he isn’t regarding your presence to the full extent that it’s normally at. You huff and lean over his shoulder to litter butterfly-light kisses along the side of his neck. He unconsciously cranes his neck, providing you with more access to the skin.

“Shouldn’t you come and eat breakfast first? You haven’t eaten anything.” You ponder aloud, and this time, he shakes his head.

“I’m fine, babe.“ he mutters, eyes squinting in the analysis of his emails. Your tongue comes out to swipe at your lips, wetting them before leaning further into his space and kissing him straight on the mouth. At this, he cocks his head to the side, granting you access for more.

You continue to press into him, feeling accomplished when you realize that now he’s fully focused on you. The kiss is languid and feels good enough to praise, but before you can fully enjoy it, Colby is pulling away with a pitiful smile. You don’t even have to question him because he’s apologizing in an instant.

“I’m sorry, petal. I really have to get these things done. I promise as soon as I get this out of the way, I’m all yours.” He says and you can’t help but feel a tug at your heart. God, he really is the cutest. With the way his eyes glimmer at you, you’re confident with the idea that this man could un-alive your childhood pet and get away with it by just looking at you with those damned ocean eyes.

“Just a minute more?” shaking off the thought of ending the video early out of awe for your boyfriend, you continue your antics. You plead instead, batting your lashes tauntingly while returning to his side.

He blinks owlishly at you and ultimately accepts, pulling you into his lap by the hips and allowing you to straddle him comfortably. You grin, wasting no time and diving straight in for a passionate kiss. His hands snake around you to land on your ass, giving a gentle squeeze to which you groan into his lips for.

For a second, you’re convinced that this moment would last for an eternity with the pace that he’s taking. Theres not a doubt that he’d absolutely waste an entire day just to kiss you, and in this case you want this to be one of those days. His kiss is smooth, gentle, yet fierce and meaningful. Your hands move on their own accord; one pressing into the broad of his chest and the other entangling into his hair.

There’s a moan serenading your ears after a few rough tugs to the strands on his head. However, before you know it, he’s giving you one last playful tug to your lip and placing a good space between the two of you. While you’re grateful for this moment to breathe, you also fall clueless as to why the hell he stopped.. until, of course, you remember that you’re filming a video, and he’s working. Hello!

“Do you know how distracting you can be?” Colby chuckles, and you take a few seconds to take in his appearance; hair tussled, eyes dark and dilated, lips swollen with a few teeth indentations caused due to your own accord. You almost want to spend the rest of the video admiring your work, but conclude that the show must go on.

“What ever do you mean, coleslaw?” You quip, pushing against his hands from where they’ve been placed on your shoulders to distance you from him.

He immediately motions for you to get off of him, his hands already shoving at your chest. “Coleslaw? You’re done. Get off of me.”

You laugh and reluctantly remove yourself from his lap only to make an attempt at lifting him up with you. As if knowing exactly what you’re about to do, he drops his weight into his chair. You grunt, tugging on his arms with all your might. He doesn’t budge.

“Baby,” you whine, and add a childish stomp for emphasis. “Can’t you just take today off to spend time with me? Please?”

He falls limp at your words, tossing his head back against the chair’s headrest and huffs in thought. “We already hung out yesterday. The entire day! What do you want to do anyway?”

Pouting, you take advantage of his loose posture to throne his lap once more. Again, circling his neck with your arms and trying to pull him impossibly closer. Though, he does his best to keep a stoic expression and an emotional stiffness to prevent persuasion.

“I miss you,” the words seemingly fall on deaf ears as he remains unfazed, eyes wandering around the room; in other words, anywhere but you. “..just wanted to kiss you today.. but i guess you don’t want my kisses. guess I’ll just find someone else who does—“

His sigh mimics one of defeat. His hold on your tightens in protectiveness, as if afraid you may be taken from him. You begin to feel that bubble of mischief rising to your cheeks, tugging your lips into a smile. Yes! It’s working!

“One more kiss, and i seriously have to get back to work, okay?” He gambles, and suddenly your smile is fading into a frown. He directs his stare back to you, a small quirk at the corner of his mouth. “What, isn’t that what you want? Take it or leave it, baby.”

You bare your teeth in grimace, eyes twinkling with competitiveness before you dive in. Planting your lips on his, you nip and lap at the opening he gives you. Without much hesitance, he’s reciprocating in eagerness. Your tongues dance in the heat of the moment, teeth clashing with force. It’s clear how much you two want each other. And it’s even more evident just how far you’re willing to go for it.

“God, what’s gotten into you?” He manages to slur through the daze you’ve entrapped him in. The intimacy in the kiss exceeds even deeper when you apply pressure against his crotch, gaining a desperate reaction in return. He whimpers against your lips, bringing you impossibly closer to his form as he ruts against you.

“just.. really.. want.. you.” Your voice tapers off into a moan with each breath you take in between. And that’s when you realize. Oh shit. he’s hard.

A probing feeling at your clothed entrance is all it takes for you to pull back and freeze, hands instantly darting for the camera from where it was hidden just a few minutes ago. You focus the rest of the footage toward you, regarding your boyfriend’s lustful daze as a sign to come clean. Placing one hand on his cheek while the other holds the camera, you give a breathy and worried giggle.

“Are you—“ you start, motioning toward the evident tent in his sweats. His eyes waver from your face for a mere second to assess the situation before returning to you. “Colby?”

“Is this is a prank?” He mumbles, cocking his head toward the camera in your hand. You nod, curtaining your smile by placing a palm over your mouth. “Oh,”

“Colby, It’s a prank. I didn’t expect it to go this far!” You admit, and suddenly the giddiness you had been shielding from escaping you throughout the video is released. You laugh in embarrassment. “Oh my gosh. Guys, if you saw anything…. No you didn’t. Haha! But seriously, my poor baby suffered today so if you enjoyed the video, be sure to like and subscribe. Until next time, bye!”

The moment the video comes to an end, Colby is cursing you up and down for the scheme you had hidden from him. However, his scolding shortly concludes with a soft, and admittedly disappointing, “—had me all excited..”

“Oh my poor baby,” you coo, both of you now free from an audience’s presence via camera. Holding his face in your hands, you apply pressure to his cheeks, forcing his lips to pucker when you go in for a gentle kiss. “‘M sorry. The fans really wanted to see what you’d do.”

“Well now they know, so can we please not do that again. you’re very irresistible and convincing you know that?”

You press a gentle peck to his cheek and huff. “Yeah I’ve heard it a few times from my boyfriend.”

“Wow. I feel bad for your boyfriend.” Colby jokes playfully.

“Do you? Hm. Guess I should be a little nicer to him.”

“Maybe.” He pouts his lips toward you, proceeding to lift you from where the two of you sit on his office chair. Your legs wrap around his middle as he travels toward your shared bed. “I think your boyfriend deserves it.”

“I think so too,” you smile. Continuing from where you had left off, you both spend the rest of the morning doing exactly as you begged for; spending the day together. And making out, of course. And maybe a little more than that.

[229zmi]

HEAD OVER HEELS

PAIRING: Kuroo Tetsurō/Reader

CONTENT: confessions, friends to lovers

WORD COUNT: 2.0k

“We need to talk.”

“Holy shit,” are the first words that escape your mouth moments after you open the door and step a singular foot into the hallway.

Before the person in front of you even has the chance to react to your very kind and courteous reaction, you proceed to slowly slide your foot back inside the classroom you were just about to exit, the noise of your sneakers scraping over the metal frame piercing the silence. Kuroo stifles a laugh behind his hand, smoothly playing it off as a cough.

Right as you’re about to shut the door, he swiftly sticks a foot in the doorway and then side shuffles his way in like a crab, all while combatting your feeble attempts to squash him with the door. Once you realise this guy isn’t going anywhere without a word with you, you give up with an aggravated sigh and step aside, giving him the Kubrick stare as he strolls past you.

You’re still glaring at him when he takes a seat on top of one of the desks, using the chair as a foot rest.

The table’s long enough that the two of you could comfortably sit side-by-side on it. He gestures to the empty space beside him, yet you don’t budge an inch from your spot. Instead, you opt to exhibit main character syndrome by crossing your arms and leaning against the wall at an uncomfortable angle. Seconds later, though, you shift your position, awkwardly shuffling to more comfortable pose.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Kuroo says in a stiff manner that leads you to believe he’s got a pre-written speech that he skimmed over only once before shoving it in his pockets. He glances around the room, everywhere but you. Fidgets with his watch, twisting it around and around his wrist. Clears his throat, before speaking up again when it becomes obvious you have nothing to say in response. “Actually— it’s been almost a month since we last talked. Now if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were avoiding me.”

He raises an eyebrow as if to silently question you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you announce haughtily. You pretend to think long and hard by simultaneously placing a finger on your chin and averting your gaze to one of the cobwebbed corners of the ceiling as you rack your brain for any memory of a conversation with him over these past few weeks. Come to think of it, he’s right, as much as you’d rather not admit that right now. The number of words exchanged between you and Kuroo has been… low, as of lately.

But not zero.

You snap your fingers and smile at your newfound eureka moment. “We talked during our physics lab last Tuesday.”

All he gives you is a placid stare because he’s not really believing what you’re saying right now. Slowly, he responds, “I asked if I could borrow a pencil from you and you said no.”

“‘Cause I didn’t have an extra one.” Lies. Kuroo knows of your susceptibility to ordering cute stationery from sketchy websites online and bringing all of them with you everywhere you go. Nonetheless, he holds back on calling out your fib. “It’s still talking anyway, so I don’t really see the problem,” you say.

“…Okay, then I rescind my sentence. It’s been almost a month since we’ve last had an actual conversation,” he corrects himself, his tone hinting at the tiniest bit of spite. “My point still stands. You haven’t been answering any of my calls or texts. All of a sudden, you go out of your way to sit on the opposite side of the classroom instead of your usual seat next to me. And every time I see you around on campus, you turn around and speed-walk in the other direction before I can even wave hi to you. It’s like watching on you move at 2x speed every time.”

He holds up two fingers and then wriggles them upside down in a way that’s supposed to mimic your alleged speed-walking. Clearly unimpressed, your upper lip curls into a scowl.

“Sounds a lot to me like avoidance, unless you’re purposely playing hard-to-get all of a sudden.”

“Those are some bold allegations.“

“Sure. Maybe they are.” He doesn’t bother arguing with you on that, which you believe is out of the ordinary, and it leaves an unsettling feeling in your gut. In all the years you’ve known him, you can’t remember the last time he agreed with you just like that, no debate or annoying remarks or anything, because it’s always been like this: you say literally anything with no evidence or explanation, and he plays pretend as someone having PhD in whatever it is that you’re talking about.

Maybe, you think dejectedly, you really did ruin your years-long friendship that one fateful day, the day you accidentally had one too many drinks and ended up spewing into the air a mix of vomit, nonsensical philosophies, and a confession you didn’t mean to ever let loose from the sanctuary of your heart. Maybe, things are changing, for the worse; and maybe, a rejection is going to come hurtling at your face soon, sometime in next couple minutes— that is, if you make it through the rest of this conversation without actually exploding internally. Either that, or power-walking away like a coward, the way you’ve been doing for the past month.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you watch as Kuroo leans back, bracing his hand against the surface of the table. You think this is the moment; this is when he’ll say something along the vague lines of the two of you just staying friends and leave it at that, and for the weeks that follow afterward, you’ll mull around in your room, sulking over your very first heartbreak until the motivation hits and you get the coming-of-age movie glow-up you’ve always dreamed of.

However, the next thing you hear out of him is far worse than anything you could imagine, making the warmth in your cheeks flare up the second his words register to you — or rather, your words.

“But maybe they’re not as bold as you the day right before you started avoiding me, when you said, and I quote, ‘Tetsurō,’” he pitches his voice to sound more like yours, though the impression is done exaggeratedly, “‘I think I’m falling in love with you.’”

???? Why did he do that.

The nerve of this man. You want to scream. Punch the wall. Kick him in the face. Because if the embarrassment that crushed you like a hydraulic press the morning after your confession was enough to almost kill you, this just brought you straight to your grave without warning, burying you six feet under. You start mentally counting all his eyebrow hairs, partly because you can’t stand to see that heinously satisfied look in his eyes right now, but also because you hope your sudden focus on the forehead region of his face will at least dwindle his confidence by a little bit.

(Though, perhaps the less vengeful part of you is glad to see the familiar smug Kuroo you know so well, as opposed to the prior Kuroo who looked like he hadn’t taken a shit in several weeks.)

“You really suck,” you drawl, finally shifting your attention away from his eyebrows only to send him a glare. “Do you think my feelings are a joke?”

His lips morph into a frown. “Hey, no. I wasn’t—“ He shakes his head, then tries to reassure you, “I don’t think your feelings are a joke, and I’m sorry I made it seem that way. I brought it up only because I wasn’t sure whether you remembered or not and I was wondering if you really meant it.”

You don’t know what to say to that.

“At first, I wasn’t going to talk about it with you, especially if you weren’t going to bring it up first, but then you started avoiding me and… [Y/n], I miss you a lot. I miss waking up to your texts and pictures of the ugly squirrels outside your window.” (You mutter something under your breath about how they aren’t that ugly.) “I miss sitting next to you and watching you switch between twenty different pens and highlighters during class.” (You bet he misses switching the caps of your highlighters, too, whenever you’re not looking.) “And I hate acting like we’re strangers whenever I see you on campus because, as funny as it is, it hurts a lot right here.”

He places a hand over his heart with a wounded expression. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you simply let out a dejected sigh.

“I.. I’ve missed you too,” you admit reluctantly. You twiddle your fingers and avert your eyes, wallowing in the awkward silence that ensues after. Kuroo seems to be thinking, centring his analytical gaze onto you as if trying to read your thoughts.

“Did you mean it? What you said at that party last month?”

Wow! Suddenly, that clock on the wall looks super interesting. “You know, my next class starts in a few minutes, I should really get going. See you—“

“I know your schedule,” he cuts in, his tone carrying a certain degree of slyness to it. “You don’t have class until four.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Weirdo.”

“Liar,” he retorts with a sickly sweet smile. For the second time in this conversation, you get the violent urge to scream, punch the wall, and kiss— sorry, kick him in the face all at once.

There’s another silence that follows and that you believe is the worst one you’ve sat through in a while, even worse than the silence you experienced in your first year after mispronouncing the word ‘organism’ during a presentation. You chew the inside of your cheek, feeling your heart thump wildly against your chest. He waits expectantly.

He really isn’t going to let this go.

“I did mean it,” you say eventually. Eugh, yuck! Even just admitting that already makes you want to coil into yourself. “You make me so sick to my stomach with your shitty grin and your shitty charm and your shitty hair, and sometimes I wonder what heinous crime or sin I committed in a past life to deserve this feeling because it never goes away, only gets worse the more we hang out and—“

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on.” There’s a look of incredulity on his face, almost offended.

“…What?” you say.

“You called my hair shitty.” Again, you fight back the urge to roll your eyes, instead settling for a less-than-impressed expression. “I can’t believe you’d lie and say something like that. It’s practically a fine art, getting it to look like this, you know.”

“I’m sure it is.” You straighten your back and abruptly push yourself off the wall before ungracefully shuffling to the side, towards the door. “Well. We talked. You got your answer. Soooo, I am departing. Goodbye.”

“Wait.” He stands up and chases after you, nearly colliding with your back when you suddenly stop and turn around. There appears to be an unspoken agreement as soon as the both of you realise the amount of space in between your faces: mere inches. Neither of you seem willing to back away. “Before you go, I have something else to tell you.”

“Make it quick.”

A light laugh from him brushes against your nose. You try not to think about it. “You’re in that much of a hurry to get away from me already?”

Your face feels unbearably warm. “Shut up.”

“How sweet of you,” he coos, reaching up to pinch your cheek affectionately. Despite your irritated expression, you make no effort to swat his hand away.

He then leans in close, a debonair grin dancing at the corners of his mouth as his lips ghost over the shell of your ear. However, you note that in your peripheral vision, his ears are tinted red and in spite of his confident, teasing front, he still sounds the tiniest bit abashed as he whispers, “I think I’ve fallen in love with you, too.”

[cyxnidx]

WHAT’RE YOU READING ?

characters: cyno, tighnari, baizhu

genre: suggestive

warnings: tighnari is a little shit, and baizhu is..something

a/n: i had this idea while thinking about reading bj alex

you heard the door close, and cyno’s voice call out for you. you paid no mind to it, continuing to press the next button on the website you were reading a manwha on, assuming everything would be fine, considering the last few pages have been sweet and romantic.

though, you were surprised to find that the next page was anything but sweet and romantic. one of the characters kissed the other, and the more you scrolled, the worse it got.

and with the worst timing ever, cyno barged into your room. “hey, didn’t you hear me call you?” he asked, confused.

quickly, you put your phone down and stood in front of it. “no..i was listening to music a while ago.”

a dumb lie, really. where were the headphones if you were listening to music?

he froze, confused. he could tell you were flustered, but about what? he hadn’t even done anything yet. not that he planned to.

“what’s up with you..?” he asked, confused, and somewhat hurt you lied to obviously.

“nothing! why would something be wrong?” you asked casually. though, you got tense as he got closer to you.

“y/n, is there something you’re hiding from me?” he asked. you shook your head.

sighing, he quickly slid his hand behind you and took your phone, your screen facing you.

the scene was still there.

the two of you fought for the phone until he eventually took it from you, admiring whatever was there, though, his face quickly went into shock.

meanwhile, you were standing and gathering your balance. you looked at him as he looked at your phone.

sighing, you spoke. “that’s why you mind your business.”

he looked at you, blinking confused. “if you were horny, you could’ve just said that.” he said blatantly.

surprised, you snatched your phone and sighed. “shut up.”

“tighnari?” you asked, looking at your boyfriend on your computer. “what’re you doing?”

you were just now coming home, and as expected, he was back before you. however, what you didn’t expect, was him to be on your computer.

as you got closer, you realized he was reading the smut you’d left open earlier. you could’ve sworn you existed the tab though? “why’re you—“

“is this what you fantasize about?” he asked bluntly, turning in the swivel chair.

you stood there silently. your goal was to not give an answer, though, it was already clear.

standing, he took your hand, pulling you closer to him. “tell me, is it?”

you nodded, somewhat curious to see what’d happen. smirking, his hands began wondering your body as he kissed you.

moving the both of you from standing, to getting you to sit in the chair he was once. his fingers pulled at the waist band of your pants, pulling it down painfully slowly.

and all of a sudden, it was gone.

sighing, he stood above you as you fixed yourself in the chair. “you’re so needy, baby..”

you rolled your eyes, clearly flustered all because of that one moment.

“it’s adorable, really. how easily you can get riled up.” he teased, grabbing your cheeks. “so pretty, hm.”

you said a muffled ‘fuck you’, getting a laugh out of him. “i thought you wanted me to fuck you? reading such lewd things.”

sighing, you gave up on responding. not that you could, he wouldn’t take you seriously with how you looked, cheeks smushed together.

you were on your ipad, sitting on a couch across from where baizhu sat in his reading chair whilst qiqi was off somewhere in her room.

originally, your idea was to draw something simple. though, eventually, you got bored and decided to find inspiration from somewhere of what to draw.

and what better place to find inspiration from than your favorite smut? you gotta admit, sometimes, the positions are amazing, smut or not.

then you had to choose your canvas. who was going to be your victim? baizhu, of course. he was sitting in the most perfect position, similar to the one you chose. it was too good to be true. too good of an opportunity to miss.

quietly, you began consistently looking up from your ipad, admiring baizhu’s figure, then back down to look for a similar color or to base something off what he’s wearing.

eventually, you did get caught and it ended up with him looking up from his book to see you admiring his figure longer, or rather harsher, than you usually would.

“what’re you looking at?” baizhu asked, putting a bookmark in his book to match your gaze.

startled, you looked back down at your ipad as to make him think you were zoning out, or was just checking up to make sure he was still there.

the simple things you’d do out of habit.

however, it did nothing to help you, only making him more curious.

thinking he just simply gave up and continued to read his book, you looked up only to find that he was no longer there. feeling a breath against your ear, you turned frantically to catch eyes with baizhu. standing right behind you

“whatcha doin’?” he asked, as if he didn’t just see the drawing you were making.

“drawing..” you answered truthfully, but not fully in truth. how long he was there? there was no clue. for all you know, he could’ve only gotten a glimpse of the lewd picture you’d made.

“drawing what, hun?” he then asked once again. knowing he knew what you were drawing, and his eyes were not, in fact, deceiving him, you gave up on speaking.

silently, he sighed and came to sit beside you. “there somethin’ you been meaning to tell me, or am i gonna have to see it for myself? again?”

you didnt know whether or not to take that as a compliment or rather an insult. “whats that supposed to mean?”

“either tell me, or i’ll have to force it out of you.” he spoke in a straightforward manner, tone and gaze much different than his usual soft and loving expression.

sighing, you began to explain what you were doing, watching as he listened intently. everything from the smut, to describing it and why exactly its your favorite and your intentions through it all.

by the end of it, he was quite quiet. though, the silence broke not long after. “if you wanted to try something new, you could’ve said that.”

-

[ovaruling]

i know everyone’s tired of me talking abt this but bc i’m on the subject now—once more on cosmetic surgery complications: let me clarify what i mean when i have said in the past “it’s rarely if ever a matter of ‘if’”—when you see “after” pictures on a cosmetic surgeon’s website, do you ever see ones that are “2 years after,” “5 years after,” “10 years after”? how often have you seen or spoken to a woman 20 years after her cosmetic surgery? do you think the surgeons do?

no. you know why? because, unless you’re getting more surgery, you stop mattering to that surgeon after your last post-op appointment. they do not give a shit about your long-term results. when you call in 2 years later, wondering why you’re experiencing xyz difficulty—guess how much they’re going to care? at most, if they even TAKE your call, they’ll tell you to go see your primary care provider.

most people have no way of knowing when their surgery is going to start causing problems. it might be a year. it might be 2. it might be 5. it might be 10. it might be 15. it could be 30. but trust me, you do not undergo major traumatic surgery to your body and get away with absolutely zero consequences.

i’m tired of people thinking they’ve got an argument when they tell me, “but EYE had xyz surgery, and i’m fine!”

tell that to the women en masse removing their breast implants due to complications that didn’t arise until years later. tell that to the women who are trying to remove gluteal implants and reverse gluteal injections because 5 years later and they’re showing signs of inflammation and infection (Blac Chyna, most recently). to women like me who’ve had nerve damage and spinal damage and muscle damage and infections and autoimmune conditions develop out of thin air after having that last post-op appointment.

i think a large number of we women who have had major cosmetic surgery are mentally unwell to begin with—or else we wouldn’t have gotten surgeries. but what i want to focus on is that we have grown up, as girls, being taught to ignore our discomfort, to minimize our pain, to get over our illnesses. i cannot in good conscience discount this phenomenon when i take into account why it is that YOUR surgery went so perfectly.

are you really recovered? or are you just ignoring the side-effects? did you already make up your mind that you’d bear the hardships of major surgery for the visual you wanted?

have you ever actually taken a moment to think about what you went through to have this surgery? have you forced yourself to adapt to the discomforts, just brushing them off as understandable collateral for something far more valuable to you (how you look)? how did the anesthesia affect you? how long were you on the table? how did your body respond to being given what it thinks is a mortally deep wound for no reason? how much pain medication did you need after? could you go to the bathroom by yourself? could you walk? how’s your scar tissue? is it still there, years later? what about your scars? have you lost sensation at the surgical site? is it still numb, years later? can you brace your core anymore? can you lift your arms above your head? how long? can you twist at the waist? what about your organs? did they suffer strain? what about your circulation? and can you draw in a truly deep breath after your breast surgery? how’s your oxygen intake after your elective rhinoplasty? or after your breast augmentation? have you felt any tingling numbness or dead zones or back pain after your BBL? or have you even thought about that? about any of this? stomach- and side-sleepers who’ve gotten breast augmentations, are you feeling rested these days?

how many of us have brainwashed ourselves into thinking we aren’t experiencing any unusual level of pain? how many women have died because of their practiced ability to shrug off extreme inflammation as “regular wear and tear”?

and you’re trying to tell me there’s NO chance of you or your tiktok faves having suffered even 1% of a change to your health after undergoing a major surgery?

no one knows it better than i do. you can lie to everyone else who’s never had cosmetic surgery, but you can’t lie to me. i know what you went through. and you don’t have to lie just to preserve your integrity.

i know women go through hell for this. and if they have, they need to pay attention to their bodies and watch for signs of long-term damage. or else you are also going to risk waking up one day and going, “hm. weird that i can’t feel my clitoris anymore. wonder why. it’s not like anything’s ever happened to—oh, wait.”

no one tells you what it all looks like 5-10+ years down the road. all you’re thinking about is the next year, at most. you aren’t thinking about lifelong consequences. you aren’t thinking about being 60, telling your doctor you had a tummy tuck when you were 27 or extreme liposuction at 18. you aren’t thinking about it. and that’s my whole fucking point, because neither was i.

[moodymelanist]

meet me at the altar (in your white dress)

happy day 3 of @sjmromanceweek everyone! of course I had to get some Nessian in here, you know me!! title from Let's Get Married by Jagged Edge (the remix is much better than the original IMO)

Summary: Nesta and Cassian elope to help take the edge off planning their big, official wedding.

Word Count: 3k

Read on AO3 here!

Summary: Nesta and Cassian elope to help take the edge off planning their big, official wedding. 

♡♡♡♡♡ Nesta

Nesta held in another scream as she clicked through yet another florist’s website, holding back the urge to start banging her head back against the wall. All she’d wanted was to come home from a long day at the office and relax, but instead of being able to destress with a book on her Kindle, she’d ended up dealing with more wedding stuff.

“You really should consider going with more hydrangeas,” her mother was saying. Rhea had called Nesta and essentially ambushed her with more wedding planning; today’s topic of choice was the floral arrangements. “I mean, what even is a ranunculus?”

“They’re a classic wedding flower, Mom,” Nesta replied through gritted teeth. She and Cassian had gotten engaged right before Christmas, and they were in the full swing of things planning wise. No matter how many times she emphasized that this was their wedding, though, it hadn’t stopped Rhea from being her usual, controlling self. “They look like peonies.”

Cassian appeared at the edge of her vision, his face twisted up adorably in sympathy as he came into their bedroom. He’d been as hands on as he could with wedding planning, but there was only so much he could do with Rhea as his future mother-in-law.

Cassian waved to get Nesta’s attention and once she looked over at him, he mouthed, You want me to give you an out?

Yes please, Nesta mouthed back. God, she loved him so much.

Nesta watched from her position on the bed as Cassian came around the corner of the mattress and reached for her nightstand, opening and shutting the drawer loud enough for Rhea to hear it on the phone. To the untrained ear, it sounded similar enough to a door opening and closing, and it was the perfect excuse to get off the phone and take her Friday night back.

“Sorry, Mom,” Nesta said immediately, cutting off whatever tangent Rhea was going on now about the flowers she’d had at her wedding. “Cassian just got home from work. I have to go.”

Rhea was silent for a few seconds. “Fine. I’ll speak to you about this later.”

“Okay. Have a good night,” Nesta replied. Rhea echoed the sentiment, and Nesta immediately tossed her phone away from her. “Holy shit, she drives me crazy.”

“Watching you deal with her is driving me crazy, Nes,” Cassian said. He leaned down to where she was reclining against the headboard and pressed several hello kisses into her lips. “What if we just got married tomorrow or something?”

“What?” Nesta said back, not quite sure she was hearing him correctly. She pulled back to look up at him, but he looked like he was being completely serious, which could not be a possibility right now.

“I said,” Cassian replied, speaking slowly to make sure she caught every word, “what if we just… got married tomorrow?”

She stared at him for several seconds without blinking. “You’re joking, right?”

“No jokes here, sweetheart,” he answered. He stood up to his full height before walking to the edge of the bed and sitting down, resting one of his warm hands on her ankle. “I feel like it would help.”

“How would throwing away months of planning help?” she responded, doing her best to stop her eye from twitching. Once they’d settled on a venue and secured their date, it had been divide and conquer between reaching out to caterers, bakers, florists, makeup and hair stylists, tailors – you name it, they’d talked to someone about pricing and dates and menu options and color schemes. 

“We wouldn’t be throwing away months of planning,” he told her. “I can be an idiot sometimes, but not that big of an idiot.”

“...Okay.” Nesta closed her laptop and gave him her full attention, hoping that he’d eventually tell her something that made sense instead of just confusing her further. “Explain what you mean then, because I don’t think I’m following you.”

“Just hear me out, okay?” Cassian asked. Once Nesta nodded her assent, he started rubbing gentle circles into the delicate skin of her ankle. “Maybe this is dumb, but I was just thinking… maybe it could help take the edge off things. I know your family is breathing down your neck about this being perfect, and I know how stressful this whole thing has been for you. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be us.”

God, he was good at this. He always knew exactly what to say to cut her to the core in the best way, and his words combined with the way those hazel eyes were trained on her made her want to give in immediately. Even though they would be surrounded by loved ones when they got married, something in her had always cringed at the fact that they’d be putting their relationship on display for everyone to see. She loved Cassian, she did, but the idea of having a wedding as big as theirs was shaping up to be felt almost performative. 

If they did what he was suggesting, there wouldn’t be anything performative about it. It would be something for just them; they wouldn’t have to go through any of the hoops that their huge, ornate ceremony was shaping up to entail. Just her, Cassian, and whoever they needed to talk to for it to be official.

“Yeah,” Nesta eventually answered, suddenly fighting back tears at how well he knew her. Even after all these years with him, he still managed to catch her off guard with how thoughtful he was. “

“Yeah?” Cassian echoed. He started to smile and it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. “Let’s do it.”

♡♡♡♡♡

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to sort everything out. Cassian booked a hotel for the weekend in Atlantic City while Nesta dug around for a white dress in her closet, and by the time she’d found a suitable enough option, he’d also started the process to get a marriage license.

“It doesn’t take that long to get a New Jersey marriage license,” he told her as they packed their bags for the weekend. “I mean, we’ll still have to sort out the paperwork for when we get married again, but that’s a problem for future us.”

“Okay,” she replied, feeling much lighter now that the pressure for their huge ceremony was suddenly off her shoulders. “We’ll figure it out then.”

It didn’t take them much longer to finish packing, and before Nesta knew it, they were in the car and on their way to Atlantic City. It wasn’t far – roughly two and a half hours – but they stopped for dinner along the way, so they made their way into the hotel lobby about three hours later. The air conditioning was going strong, and Nesta didn’t hesitate before leaning against Cassian’s warm side while they checked into their room.

“You want my jacket?” Cassian asked once they were all squared away and heading to the elevators.

“No, I’m okay,” Nesta answered, leaning into him again while they waited for the elevator to come to the lobby. Besides, he was holding both of their bags; she wasn’t going to make him essentially play Tetris with them to get the damn thing off. “We can just turn the AC down when we get upstairs.”

Their hotel room had all the usual accommodations, including a king-sized bed, and they both showered and changed into pajamas before getting into it. Cassian made sure their room was locked up tight and the AC wasn’t blasting before they got into bed, but even though it wasn’t as cold in the room anymore that didn’t stop Nesta from cuddling up to her fiancé.

“Thanks for going along with my crazy idea, Nes,” Cassian said into the quiet darkness of their room.

“It wasn’t that crazy once you explained it,” Nesta replied softly, reaching up and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “But you’re welcome.”

He just laughed softly, the sound of it vibrating gently against her cheek where she was laying on him. “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby. See you in the morning.”

♡♡♡♡♡

Nesta woke up the next morning wrapped around one of the hotel pillows instead of around her husband-to-be. She experienced a brief moment of panic once she realized she was alone in the room, but it quickly dissipated once she recognized Cassian’s familiar handwriting on one of the hotel’s notepads. She reached for it where he’d left it on the end table and quickly scanned the note he’d left her.

Hey sweetheart, he’d written. Don’t freak out, but it’s bad luck to see the bride on her wedding day, and I’m all about avoiding bad luck. Everything else is getting taken care of (I promise!!) so you just have to bring your gorgeous self to the altar. 

Love you

xoxo,

Cassian (aka your future husband)

Nesta laughed softly to herself as she set the note aside, her heart rate immediately slowing down after she’d read it through a few times. Cassian knew how tired she was of making so many wedding-related decisions and it was such a relief to not have to make any more — for the moment, anywhere. Even if they weren’t doing things the ‘right’ way, he was still looking out for all the little details, and it was stuff like that that made her want to fall in love with him all over again. 

Lucky for her, she’d get to fall in love with him every day for the rest of their lives. 

Nesta let herself lounge in bed for a few more minutes until she couldn’t wait any longer. She took her time getting ready, the hot water from the surprisingly strong shower head waking her all the way up, and she was thankful she’d packed her good blow dryer after she realized the hotel one wasn’t up for the task. Cassian had always loved her hair down, so she carefully smoothed half of it up and left the other half down. 

By the time she finished with her makeup and got dressed, it was almost time to go. She put on her wedges and threw the essentials — lip gloss, powder, room key, phone — into her purse before heading downstairs. She’d missed breakfast, but she managed to snag some Pop Tarts from the convenience store while she waited for her Uber. 

It was a quick ride to the hotel where they were getting married, and Nesta just followed the signs for the wedding area until she found a woman holding a sign with her name on it. She was tall, with dark hair and light brown skin that looked amazing even under the strange hotel lighting.

“Hi,” Nesta said, walking right up to her. “I’m Nesta.”

The woman perked up immediately. “Great! I’m Deirdre, I’ll be officiating the wedding. Cassian handled pretty much everything he could without you, so all you have to do is follow me.”

“Great,” Nesta replied. Her love for Cassian grew even more once she heard she’d hardly have to do anything. “Lead the way.”

Deirdre and Nesta wound their way through the halls, making small talk until they ended up in one of the back rooms. Nesta picked out a small bouquet of lilies, a short veil to wear as she walked down the aisle, and signed some forms. 

“You’re all set,” Deirdre told her once the last thing was signed. “Cassian said he had the rings, so really you just have to get your beautiful self out there and we can get this show on the road.”

“Okay,” Nesta agreed. She wondered if Cassian was using their actual wedding rings, or if he’d found a less expensive replacement for today. Oh well — she didn’t need to worry about it right now, and wasn’t that a relief. “I’m ready.”

Deirdre clapped her hands together and led Nesta through a different path through the halls, the two of them coming to a stop in front of what looked like a chapel. “I’ll go in first, make sure everything’s ready, and then once the music starts you can come in whenever you want. Okay?”

“Sounds good,” Nesta told her, and then she was alone. 

Nesta took a few deep breaths while she waited for Deirdre’s signal. Maybe if it had been anyone else, she might have been more nervous, but it was Cassian waiting for her. How could she feel anything but excited when they were only a few minutes away from forever?

The music started earlier than Nesta had been expecting, but she took it in stride. She squared her shoulders and walked through the door with her head held high, something inside her settling the second she laid eyes on Cassian. He looked handsome as always, dressed in a white button-up shirt and his nicest pair of jeans, and she could tell he was already crying even from across the room. 

There were a few people seated amongst the pews to serve as witnesses, but Nesta tuned out everyone that wasn’t Cassian. The walk down the aisle was simultaneously too long and too short, and suddenly she was handing over her bouquet so she could grip Cassian’s hands in hers. “Hi.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Cassian said, his eyes a little wide. “You look so beautiful.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Nesta said back. She squeezed his hands to help steady them both before turning to Deirdre with an expectant look. “We’re ready.”

Deidre must have gone through all the usual wedding talk, but all Nesta heard was that she and Cassian were promising themselves to one another. Good days and bad, they’d show up for each other no matter what, no matter what kind of fancy ways people wanted to describe it. 

Before Nesta knew it, it was time for the vows. Deirdre turned to her expectantly, and she nodded before she took a deep breath. 

“Cassian,” Nesta started, her eyes tearing up at the force of what she felt for him. They’d both promised to not prepare anything — something about it coming from the heart — and part of her wished she had, just for the sheer difficulty of describing what he meant to her. “You’re the love of my life. My best friend in the entire world. You know me better than anyone else, and I’m so — I’m so thankful to have you. You make me so happy even when you’re being a bastard and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She took another deep breath to steady herself, shooting Cassian a watery smile as he reached up to wipe some of her tears. “You’re the one I want to laugh with and argue with and spend all my time with until we’re old and gray. I promise to choose you every day, no matter what. I love the life we’ve made so much, and I promise to fight for us for the rest of our lives. I love you, Cassian. So much.”

“Jesus, how am I supposed to follow that up,” Cassian muttered to himself. 

Nesta laughed. “I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Nes.” He took a deep breath of his own and met her eyes again. “Nesta, I knew from the minute I met you that you were special. Maybe it’s cheesy, but from that very first glare, I knew I’d be chasing after your attention for the rest of our lives. I’ve never been so happy to be right.”

“You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. You’ve made my life better in so many ways, and I’ll never stop thanking the universe for putting us in each other’s lives. You’re an amazing woman and the fact that you chose me — well. I’ll never take that for granted. It physically hurts me when we’re apart, so the fact that you’re agreeing to be tied to me forever makes me feel pretty damn good. I promise to choose you every single day, to always respect you and cherish you and all the other things that you deserve. I love you so, so much, Nesta. You’re my world.”

They were both crying now, and Nesta squeezed Cassian’s hands so hard it was a miracle he didn’t lose circulation. She swore she could feel the thread that connected them wrap around them even tighter; there was no telling where one of them began and the other one ended. It was just them, and it was beautiful.

“Those were wonderful,” Deirdre told them. “Now, the rings.”

It seemed Cassian had brought out their wedding bands early after all. Both of their hands were shaking as they exchanged rings, but they managed to get through it without dropping anything or putting their rings on the wrong fingers. 

“With that…” Deirdre took a deep breath and beamed at them. “You may now kiss the bride.”

Cassian didn’t need to be told twice. Nesta barely had any warning before he was grabbing her and dipping her, but he was so strong that she didn’t think he’d drop her for a second. She just threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, clutching him to her as tightly as she could and not planning on letting go for a good long while.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Deirdre said, smiling brightly. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” Cassian said with a wide grin once he’d brought Nesta back up. He was so beautiful when he was happy, and part of her still couldn’t believe she was the one to consistently put that smile on his face. “Hey, wife.”

“Hey, husband,” Nesta said back, smiling just as widely as he was. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Like you even have to ask,” he told her. He offered his hand and she took it without hesitation, squeezing tightly as they made their way back down the aisle.

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing | @avidromancereader | @a-little-disguised | @kale-theteaqueen | @talibunny30

[clownboymcchucklefuck]

🥀Eternally Yours and Mine - Chapter Two🥀

Pairing: Corpse Husband Zachary au x Reader/MC

Word count: 2k again lets goooo

heheheh I don't know what else to put here but enjoy reading!

You were awakened by the sound of knocking at the front door at….5am?! Who the hell was up right now? You groaned, rolling over and trying to pull the pillow over your ears in hopes that the person would go away or maybe it was a branch hitting against the door. It didn’t though. You cursed under your breath as you pulled yourself out of bed groggily and slowly walked down the hall. The knocking persisted and you opened the door quickly, ready to tell off whoever decided to come around at this time. “What do you-!”

You quickly stopped talking when you recognized the person at the door and you remembered what you and Simon had talked about while you guys had brought in the boxes.

“So…..What exactly will the landlord look like? I never saw a picture of them on the website or anything and I wouldn't want to try and beat them up if they scared the shit out of me like you did.” You asked, picking up one of the last boxes while Simon did the same. “O-Oh….uhm…p-purple hair, and they’re q-quite pale.”

He hadn’t given you much information probably due to him being nervous but it was enough for you to double take right now and forced a smile on your face to seem perfectly sane and like you weren’t ready to cuss somebody out. The figure standing at the door was pretty tall and pale, light purple hair tied into a braid and it went down to their hip, he wore a dark purple shirt along with the whole fit. Gold glasses adorned his face which she pushed up slightly with a pale hand before speaking.

“You’re [Y/N], correct?” They asked with a calm smile. You nodded your head quickly, hoping to make a good impression in case they happen to be like your last landlord that would raise rent over the tiniest things.

“Oh, uhm, yeah, that’s me.” You mentally yelled at yourself for not sounding confident while you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. The person (?) smiled and put their hand out for a handshake, you took it and looked down and was a bit surprised. Simon said that they were a bit pale but you weren’t expecting this.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Mr. Ritza.” They said calmly before speaking again, his face looking a bit worried. “Real quick though, is anything broken or anything? The lights are all working, correct?” They asked as her calm face started to morph into a somewhat nervous one as he looked past your shoulder and into the house.

“Uhm….Yes? I’ve only been here for a couple hours now so I haven’t really had the chance to look all around the house.” You responded hesitantly, confused about why they were so concerned about the….lights? But hey, at least he’s giving a damn about the house unlike your last landlord.

Mr. Ritza nodded and her smile slowly came back. “Well that’s good, But if anything ever does come up please contact me immediately and I’ll get it fixed right up.” He said softly as he stopped looking behind you and instead at you now. “Sorry for waking you up by the way, this is about the only time I can come out right now.” They apologized before starting to take a step into the doorway. “Simon had told me you wanted a tour of the house? It is quite big after all.”

It was true that you had been wanting a tour of the house but it was 5am and nobody wanted to do all that at this time of the morning. Not wanting to be mean, you smiled at them and shook your head. “Not right now preferably, I’m still really tired but I’m sure I can do it by myself in the morning.” You responded, although the cold air outside was slowly waking you up.

He nodded his head before reaching into their back pocket and handing you a piece of folded paper. “I understand, although here’s a layout of the house just in case.” You nodded your head and took the paper from their pale hand and unfolded it before taking a quick glance at it. You chuckled a bit as you folded it back up. “Thanks, now hopefully I won’t get lost here.” You joked and they gave you a small chuckle in return before he started speaking again. “You’re welcome, I’ll leave you so you can go get some sleep now. My phone number is on the back of the paper if you need anything from me.”

You smiled at them and waved them goodbye. “Alright, thanks I will.” You replied and turned to set the paper down on the small table in the hallway next to the door. You were lost in thought for a moment before your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of….a bat? Your turned around quickly towards the door, Mr. Ritza was gone and you could faintly make out a chubby purple bat flying away. You stared for a few moments, trying to make out what happened before shrugging it off. It was probably just the fact you just woke up getting to you. You set the paper down and then went to bed for the night.

When you finally did wake up for the day it was about 11pm, the sun was already shining through the curtains, giving the room a welcoming glow. After going ahead and freshening up for the day ahead in the bathroom and a new pair of clothes just in case somebody popped by again, you went into the vestibule and got the paper off of the table that Mr. Ritza had given you before you started going through the house, starting with the first floor.

There were at least 3 floors from what you could tell on the outside and looking down at the floor plan you could see that there was also a basement and an attic that you would have to check as well….Maybe you should have taken up that offer last night but oh well. You made your way into the first floor kitchen, notepad in hand to take some notes on things you would find. Just like the rest of the house, the kitchen was very clean and shiny like someone who would wake up every morning to wipe down the cabinets and counters to make sure the place stayed in tip top condition.

There was a large cabinet right across from you against the wall filled with porcelain plates with what you could see through the glass on it. Walking up to it you pulled on the handles of the double doors only to find it a bit stuck which made sense since those plates had not been used for probably over 50 years. You huffed before pulling on them once more, nothing. Pulling once more there was a soft crackling sound coming from the two doors as they finally separated. You took out one of the plates from the cabinet and examined it.

You ran a finger across the plate and was pleasantly surprised to see that no dust or dirt came up on your finger when you checked so you wouldn’t have to go through washing all the dishes. They were slick almost like glass and were white with a blue flowery print all around the side of them in a circle and it was truly beautiful. You remembered how one of your few friends back home always had a thing for vintage stuff like you and you guys would have long rants back in high school history classes whenever you talked about victorian times. She would surely love to see this.

You went to go grab your phone in your back pocket to take a picture, your grip only slightly loosening up on the plate as you did so. It was dead silent in the house except for the sounds of you walking around and doing stuff. That was suddenly interrupted by a loud sound coming from somewhere else in the house, almost like the sound of music. You jumped and in the process the plate fell out of your hands and to the floor into smithereens causing you to yelp and jump back again to avoid and spare glass pieces cutting into your foot since all you had on was socks.

You had to take a moment and take a deep breath before he reached down and picked your phone up off of the ground, you turned on the screen and sighed in relief when you saw that the screen had cracked but you had a bigger problem to worry about. You could still hear the sound of music coming from somewhere in the house and you couldn’t tell where. Did Simon sneak in and was trying to scare you? Maybe he wasn’t as sweet as you thought he was….

“Tch, asshole…” You grumbled as you started to walk around the house to figure out where it was coming from exactly, going to the next floor upstairs you noticed the music got a bit louder. It almost sounded like it was above you? You reached into your back pocket as you looked up at the ceiling and took out the floor plan Mr. Ritza had given you before looking down at it.

You looked around for the entrance to some type of attic of something but it seemed that it had been erased from the floor plan. The music was still playing and you knew it wasn’t your mind playing tricks on you by the way you could pick out pieces of words in the song.

“Daisy…….give me…………..half crazy.”

It sounded crackley in some way, it was clearly one of those old songs by the way. Your face contorted into a confused look…..How could Simon have made it in here if you didn't even know there was an attic before? You felt a bit of fear come up inside the pit of your stomach but you pushed it down and told yourself that everything must have an explanation. You searched around the house for a little while, your footsteps being slow and wary now that you were unsure of what it was. It took a few minutes but as you walked towards the end of the hallway on the right side of the third floor you could hear the music clearly albeit it was muffled.

You looked up at the ceiling for any type of attic door that pulls down and noticed the string hanging from the ceiling. You pulled it down, ignoring the way your hand trembled when you did so. It fell down, the ladder with it, nearly smacking you right in the head if you hadn’t moved away just in time. A wave of dust came down with it as well and you covered your nose with your shirt and coughed into it.

“Daisy…Daisy, give me your answer do.”

The music was now clear as day, you were able to hear the lyrics and make the song out clear as day now. The room seemed to have a red glow to it. Swallowing down your fears you shakily climbed up the ladder and into the attic. You found that the red glow that filled the room was from a glass stained window of a rose and when the sun shined down on it, it filled the room with the light through the rose. It would have been comforting and gorgeous if it hadn’t been for the situation at hand.

“I’m half crazy…all for the love of you…”

Once you were finally inside of the attic you immediately started to search around for the source of the music and it didn’t take you but about 15 seconds of scanning the attic till you found a gramophone sitting on a small desk against the far wall playing the music.

“It won’t be a stylish marriage….I can’t afford a carriage…”

You shook your hands a bit to try and get rid of the feeling of paranoia and brushed it off by the creepy ass song making you afraid and walked over to the desk to go ahead and put all this shit to an end and probably go interrogate Simon to see if he had decided to mess with you like you originally thought.

“But you’ll look sweet, upon the seat of a bicycle built for two…”

The song came to an end before beginning to start over again. The begging cords started to play again and you huffed and reached for the stylus to take it off and stop the music when suddenly the record player scratched and started glitching almost and jumping all over the place, almost piecing parts of the song together.

Ŷ̷̳̰͕̬̼̳͖̖̞̫̭͉̭̠̀̾̅̚ó̶̧̦̫̺ͅû̷͇̀͋͒͆́̒͒̀̀̈̌̚͜͝ ̸͖͇̱̙̫̞͎͎̻̟̣̇͋͗̆̒̉̽͋̈́̅̿̈͠͝͝ͅľ̸̢̡̩̹͎̫̹͙͂͐̌̑̂̑̌̍͐͊͛̕͘͝ǫ̸̡͕͈̤̯͙̭̌̅̊̈̄̑̌̈́̀͘̕͘͠o̷̧͖͚̜̟͉̤͍͕̯̰̪̓̽͑̾̿̾̔̾̑̃̚̚͜k̶̛̞̯̐͊̐͌̓͋̀̍̈́̕̚͝ ̸̻̱̲͎͉̦̙̹̓̽̑͆̑̅͆̀͊s̸̨̧̺̩̭͇̯̻̻̬̙͔͔͛̓̀̒͒́͒͌̊̍͗̕ͅo̴͕̫͚͕͕͈̯͈̠͓̭͑̐̐̽͑̿͊͊͝͝ͅ ̴̱͔̟̤͙͖̦̪̱͎̘͔̫̙̪̋̽̍͗̔͛̊̈̈́̈́̽̃̃b̴̨̛̍̑̓̂̃̚͝e̸̡̢̬̰͍̲͎̦̦̭̥̥̱͑̂͗̔̓́͛͊͑́͐̎͠ą̷̧̗̞̟͓͎̲̳̩̳̤̣͛̓̍͌̍̚͝ū̶͙̼̣̟̺̖̺̎̍͜ţ̵̘̱̖̩͇̹̥̾͂̐͊ͅͅǐ̶̡̧̢̗̯̳͕̬͎̰̿̉͒́͌̇̀̚͜ḟ̴̛̩́͂̉̄̎͑͊̎̏͝ų̷̹̟̱̳͈̖̠͚͓̯̈́l̷̰̱̈́̊͌̃̑̓͑ ̵̰͈̯̠̩̼͇̻͙̻͙̠͓̺̈́̋̈́̎̓́͂̈́̃̒ẃ̸̢̧͚̞͖̜̤̞̣͙̣͖̲̓̃͂̎́́̓̀͌̃͊͆͘͝ḩ̷̙̿ͅe̵̛̪̊́͌͆͒͑͌͂͑ñ̷̛̤͓̬̜̬͈̻̫͕̓̈́̇̇͛͘͝͝ ̷̧̢̞̜͍̘̣͍̈͜ͅẙ̸̠̲͍̦̥͈̇̈́̍̎̀͆̕͘͝ǫ̶͇̪͎̙̩̠̐̊̉͋̒͐ṷ̶̧͓̞͚̺̣̥̬̰̝͍̋̉̃̂͝ͅ ̴̡̱͙̠̳̙̩̱̗̰̰̮̃̏̃͊s̵̨̢̩̪̗͍͉̻̤͗͘͝ľ̸̡͚͔̜̖̖͈̻̦ë̷̡̙̘̜̦̯̜̼̜̖͎́̈́́̀͛̾͘͜͝e̴̢̨̡̛͉͖̺̣̖̺̯̪̠͐̀̌̔̓́̇͊̅p̴̨̟̮̘͇̦̪͙͖͓̥̻̆̋̄̓.̸̨̡̛͍̞̻̙̤͚͚̹͕̳̬͇̏̉̾̋͊̂͘͘͘͝

Your heartbeat raced and you didn’t waste another second and pulled the needle off the record quickly and stopped the music. ….The only sound in the attic now was the sound of your heavy breathing as you slightly bent over and took a moment to collect yourself.

You mentally slapped yourself for letting such a little thing scare you so badly, what were you? Nine? You sighed and stood back up, and stared at the gramophone for a moment and remembered Mr. Ritza’s words about calling them if anything broke or acted up and went to grab your phone out of your pocket only to feel nothing there.

“Oh fucking come on-” As if things couldn’t get worse today. You started to walk back over to the ladder to see if your phone was laying in the hallway somewhere when you were suddenly blinded momentarily by a bright light right in your eyes. You instinctively covered your face before looking over at the source and saw something metal on the floor, the sun shining down on it through the windows and reflecting right onto your face.

Walking closer to whatever it was and bending down you saw that it was a ring. It was a beautiful golden one with diamonds adorned on the top giving it a nice sparkle to it. You carefully picked it up and turned it around in between your fingers and examined it. Running a finger around the band on the outside to feel the details and then doing the same on the inside of the ring, you were surprised to feel engravings on the inside of the band. It was somewhat dark since you had found it under the table so you stood up, holding the ring up to the light so you could see it better and you started to read it out loud.

“With you always….Eter-” You started to read it outloud until there was the sound of footsteps behind you.

“-Nally yours and mine…” A charming male voice spoke with a British accent right behind you as he finished his sentence.

—-------------------------------------------

HAHAHAHA GET PUT ON A CLIFFHANGER-

Zachary belongs to @clrdgaze

If you made it this far and finished it thank you! I really enjoy writing this and already working on chapter three :>

[crowscadence]

BSD as things I’ve heard in band

Tachihara: Who wants to do some carpool kareoke?!

Akutagawa: I’d rather you skin and boil me alive

Yosano: They were like “should we medicate her?” and I said no because I didn’t want to lose my sparkle

Ranpo: I don’t have to worry about that because my sparkle is autism

Kunikida: *sigh* I’ve been afflicted by Dazai’s bullshit

Dazai: hey scoot over a bit

Chuuya: no you’re not my master

Dazai: actually I am, be my dog

Dazai, holding just the head of a dog-shaped cookie jar: Isn’t he cute?

Atsushi: Dazai why do you have a dog head

Dazai: The rest of the body is in my bag :)))

Atsushi: That doesn’t make it any better-

Dazai: Hey, did you hear who just got asked out?

Chuuya: Who?

Dazai: You *finger guns*

Atsushi, running from Akutagawa: Help, I’m being attacked by a wild emo!

*15 Dazai and Chuuya arguing over the plural of penis*

Mori: you two are making me question my life choices

Nikolai: What if edible p*rn was a thing?

Sigma: please never say those words in that order ever again

Dazai, after a mission: You know Atsushi you’re really not beating those furry allegations

Atsushi: yeah I saw that one coming

Kenji: Going to Paris without seeing Versailles is like going to New York for the first time and not seeing the Tilted Towers

Kyouka: …Kenji that's from fortnite

Yosano: well you may be the best walking condom ad I’ve ever seen

(This quote would fit so many)

Ango: nothing like a government website to keep you up at 2AM

(this was from my band director)

Kunikida, talking about Dazai: The fact that he’s not responding to my texts right now is bull because there’s no way that sleep-deprived, caffeine-addicted twink isn’t awake

Dazai: this is the face of a professional

Atsushi: that’s the face of a fucking idiot

Kunikida, talking about his headcanonned college experience: do you know what kind of foul things come out of frat guys’ mouths?

Dazai: no but I know what foul things probably go in them

Akutagawa: I must be a poison type because I can’t stop fucking koffing

Dazai, mocking fyodor: what’s the point of saying meow if it’s not in a Russian accent?

Dazai: I dunno about you but Tom Riddle could grease my cork

Dazai: never thought I’d see the day when I’d be handcuffed in the band room but okay

Ranpo, putting on sunglasses inside: gotta rep that autism

*Dazai bitching and moaning about sore muscles*

Atsushi: be glad for the pain, it means you’re alive

Dazai: bitch you know I’m suicidal

Dazai, holding up a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt: oh my god guys this is the shirt I wore to emergency therapy after trying to off myself

Albatross: do y’all think I could pull off a black turtleneck or would I just look like that kid from The Incredibles

Atsushi, walking with his hoodie pocket full of tuners: I’m like a marsupial with my tuner babies

Dazai: Listen that song is a banger, but with all those weird time signatures I think that playing it would make me wanna kill— shit I forgot I’m not allowed to make that joke anymore

[twisted-turtels]

Shuri x Black!Fem!Reader

Words: 927

Note: This an idea that’s been in my head for days and I’ve been trying to ignore it because I have never wrote a fanfic and I don’t really know how to write well. I went for it anyways and here it is. Enjoy! I’m very open to criticism, maybe I’ll continue writing it.

Part Two 

Part Three

Part Four

————————————————————————————————————————

You’re lying in bed, trying to nap after a long day of school. Your professors are annoying, your classmates are annoying, and you wish everything and everyone would be quiet. As you’re finally about to close your eyes, your roommate and best friend, Riri Williams, bursts into your dorm room.

“Stupid Jackson tried to short me of my money after helping him with his project. I practically did his whole project!” She said as she rushed into the room, setting her bags down.

You groan as you rise from the bed like a vampire rising from their coffin, “I’m sure you couldn’t let that slide, right?” Riri turns towards you. “Of course not, that’s why I added an extra $200 on top of the $800 he gotta pay me. Bet he won’t try that again.” You both laugh together. “Anyways, don’t you have another class soon? Why are you back here?” You ask.

“I had to get something real quick, but I’m finna be gone in, like, 20 minutes-“You both turn your head when you hear a light knock on the door, “Riri Williams!” Says a deep but feminine voice. You look at Riri smugly. “Were you expecting someone?” “Um, I wasn’t, actually,” Riri says as she walks to the door. “Uh, if you’re here for ‘you know what,’ I gotta website for that shit now-“Riri opens the door, and standing there is Princess Shuri of Wakanda.

You hear Riri gasp and look towards the door to see Shuri walk past Riri into your room, telling her to “Shh” with her finger over her mouth. You turn towards Riri with wide eyes, and she turns back to you with even wider eyes. “What the hell are you doing here?” Riri asks Shuri. “I’m here about the vibranium detector you built for the CIA.” You look at Riri, “You built a vibranium detector for the CI-fucking-A?” She looks at you. “No, I built it for my metallurgy class. Remember how I told you about the professor who said I couldn’t do it? Well, I did.” She says with a smug face. “Okay, purr, that’s great, but why is she,” you point at Shuri, “here.” “A school project?” Shuri says in disbelief; she continues to ask, “How old are you?” Riri responds, “19.” “And this took you how long?” You stand up, walking towards the bathroom, “Almost two months.” You say while rolling your eyes. Shuri looks at you up and down as you walk away. Riri looks back and forth between you two and gives you an annoyed look. “Don’t look at me like that; I had to deal with you coming home late as hell because of the damn project; of course it annoyed me” You walk to the bathroom and make yourself look presentable while Riri and Shuri talk.

You walk out to hear Shuri say, “-come with me.” You walk to stand in between Shuri and Riri, “Woah, slow down there. Riri isn’t going anywhere. What is going on?” You look towards Riri and notice she has a panicked face, “Okay, you wait right here. I’m going to go to the bathroom.” You turn towards Shuri and ask, “What the hell is going on?” As you say that, Riri barely enters the bathroom until a tall, black woman walks out of the bathroom. You and Riri jump and back up towards the wall while you reach to grab what looks like a pen off your nightstand, and Riri grabs her speaker and holds it above her head as if she’s about to throw it. “I had it under control.” Says Shuri. “I said five minutes.” The stranger says. “Get out of our dorm!” You exclaim. The woman starts to walk towards you and Riri. “I am warning you, do not walk towards us!” The woman look towards Shuri with a faux shocked expression. “See how they teach the children to treat their guests. Hmph.” The following events seem to have happened in slow motion after that. Riri throws the speaker, the woman pulls out her spear, and the next thing you know, your spear is out in front of your best friend.

“You brought a spear in here!” “You have a spear!” Says Shuri and Riri, respectively. You’re only focused on a stranger in your room threatening your best friend. “We will not go anywhere until you tell us what’s happening.” You demand. The Wakandans look at you in shock, “Okay, listen, how about everyone puts away their weapons,” Shuri says, looking at mainly you and the stranger with a shocked expression. “Riri, you can bring your friend with us, but we have to go; they could be coming any minute now.” “We’re not going anywhere with you,” Riri says. “Okay then.”

Shuri and the stranger look at each other and walk towards the door while whispering loudly, “She can deal with that merman all by herself.” Shuri says. You and Riri look at each other in shock and put your weapons away. “What!” Riri exclaims. You and Riri look toward each other and make a silent agreement before looking back at Shuri. “Okay, we’ll come, but you must tell us what’s happening.” You say while looking Shuri in the eyes. “Okay, I will explain more on the way there; just please hurry and bring your-“she looks at the “pen” in your hand, and you look down with her “-important belongings.” Riri grabs her backpack, and you follow behind her. You look at the stranger with a glare and follow Shuri out the door.

Tags:

@straightestgay-voice @demie90s @diasyjohnsxns @mlmilani @marvelwweprinxessesworld

[poptart-productions]

his type

[part two of a series]

↳ ❝ [summary] ¡! ❞

after a bit of teasing about your apparent ‘crush’ on eren on your friend’s part, you and “the homegirls” finally make it to the paradis concert.

after the show, the six of you head backstage to receive your v.i.p treatment and instead you get eren’s attention, which—as you’ll find out, is more weight than you can bear

previous | series masterlist | next

——————————✩———————————

it was all fun and games until you actually got there

you felt out of place

to be fair, you came for the networking opportunity and that super attractive guitarist, so it’d be unfair to compare you to a fan.

but still, you felt wrong being there—like you took the spot from someone more deserving than yourself.

the pestering flavor of coffee sat heavy on the back of your tongue as you looked amongst the mingling fans—all the faces reduced to featureless paint smears in the darkness.

surprisingly, none of your friends were speaking, at least not too loud—even sasha, which was frightening.

and so, you were forced into what was, practically eavesdropping on fans; all of which were in varying degrees of fandom

“that album—oh my fucking god—they ate”

“—devoured!”

another conversation.

“i’m gonna fucking cry—“

“—jenna, if you cry—we’re going home”

and another.

“eren is so hot—one chance, please”

you chuckled a bit hearing that, because shit—this person is just like you for saying that

but you quirked a brow at what their friend said in response, “well, you know what they been saying about him, you might be—“

another voice, “—don’t even give her false hope—bitch, this isn’t wattpad”

the trio laughs but you’d already stopped paying attention at that point

what have they been saying about eren?

might be what?

from the undertone of the conversation, and the person begging for ‘one chance’ with him, you’d guess that the rumors were alluding to eren being something of a playboy

you sighed; you’re not surprised—he’s young, he’s pretty, and he’s in a band—of course he’s a fuckboy

“you okay—?“

“—oh! miki. . .” your shoulders tense as mikasa’s sultry voice funneled into your ears

you did eventually realize that it was her, and calmed down some; you blinked, finally answering her question, “yeah. . .yeah! i’m alright! i just—i don’t know, i’ve just never really been to a concert, i guess”

“oh, i know how you feel, but you’ll have fun. and if you need some—“ “—let’s fucking go!” before mikasa could finish, the stage lights flicked on, and the boys came on stage all at once

thankfully, you’d done some research on paradis while waiting for the girls in the parking lot—all that fussing, and you were still there first—so you recognized all of the guys and their respective positions

connie, the one coming with so much energy was the drummer—“are you ready, [h/t]?!” he continued, rousing all kinds of ‘yeahs’ from the audience

“then make some fucking noise” another screamed, an attractive fry to his voice

jean : bassist and sub-vocalist—he was pretty fucking popular, too. the sea of fans responded with screeches, some of which consisted of obscene ‘daddy’s’ and ‘fuck me’s’ shouted into the void

these motherfuckers are insane.

seriously, you’d think some kpop group was on the stage right now.

armin, the lead vocalist pouts, “you guys sound bored, c’mon”

you scan the stage, and that’s the moment that man appears, out of nowhere.

eren, the guitarist—though he needs no introduction; he’s the most popular member, for fuck’s sake

he saunters toward the front of the stage, single-handedly causing an uproar in the audience—and why would he not—let’s not kid ourselves here; this man looks fucking good.

waves of brown hair cascading freely down his shoulders, green eyes tinted through the shades he decided to wear inside—but he’s hot so it’s okay

he was shirtless, leading all the attention to his lean—i mean, neckless—of course, the key neckless which he always wore, according to the website you were staring at in your car twenty minutes ago

whether it had sentimental value or he just thought it looked cool, you might not ever know, but it was still eye catching nonetheless

draws attention to that abdomen of his. . .

fuck.

but wait, there’s more; the pants—those fucking leather pants, the light was doing a great job at making it known just how. . .excited he was before getting on stage

either that or, he was just that impressive

after all that time you spent utterly eye-fucking this man, he finally opens his mouth

shit

“if you want us to give it to you, you’re gonna fucking scream, alright?”

sultry, deep, husky—it brought you back to your old boy band days—you’re ashamed to admit that you already started imagining him whispering things to you, dirty things

“one more try” he continues, “make some motherfucking noise!”

he said ‘noise’, and the fans delivered.

all you could hear was noise.

your feelings of isolation only got worse when the music started—if you could even call it that—you could only hear the bass as it boomed from the super-sized speakers above; the only thing cutting through it all was armin’s voice, with occasional harmonies from eren and jean

they sounded nice, but god was everything so fucking loud

you looked over to find everyone having a good time, but you

sasha and historia were screaming the lyrics—regardless of the fact that sasha did not know a single one—and jumping up and down, with mikasa and ymir standing protectively behind them to ensure their safety

they were bobbing their heads to the beat, too. hell, even annie seemed to be enjoying herself; nodding her head and mouthing the words to the chorus

it wasn’t until mikasa hurriedly handed you the earplugs she had forgotten to give you that you saw what all the fuss was about.

there’s nothing for you to say except. . .

you get it, now

you felt like middle schooler, screaming in the audience—it was fun—they’d only performed a few songs, it felt like, before armin looked at the audience with a pitiful smile, “alright, so for this last song—“ the crowd, including you, responded with childish whines

“you guys always do this—“ armin shakes his head with a laugh, to which jean smiled, “yeah, shit’s gotta end eventually”

the whining subsided, and armin continued, “so for this last song, we wanted you guys to sing. . .” the chords to an unknown—to you at least—track began to play

there was a nervous tension in the air, “eren, start ‘em off!”

eren smirks, jade eyes focused on his instrument as he played the audience in, “there is nothing you can do that i have not already done to my self, there is nothing you could do that i have not already done to myself—“

you paused, you’ve heard this song before.

never wanted to dance—that’s it’s name—you’d heard it on historia’s playlist while sleeping over at her and ymir’s place.

“there is nothing you could do that i have not already done to myself—“

“—never wanted to dance with nobody—“ a few voices started to sing, but quickly died down upon realizing how alone they were

the guys of paradis are reduced to nothing but disappointed groans and looks,“oh come on! you were just screaming loud as fuck—could barely hear ourselves” connie chided, so upsets it seems, that he almost fell off his chair

“scream!” jean and armin encouraged, and eren continued with their sentiment, “we don’t give a fuck if you think you sound bad—just give us everything you got, alright?”

they start over, and at first it seems the result will be the same until a voice from the audience starts screaming the lyrics

“never wanted to dance with nobody but you—!”

you knew that voice anywhere.

historia.

“fuck yeah, go crazy!” connie praised, gearing up to play his part

historia’s shrill voice lands all eyes on her but she clearly didn’t give a fuck, she was screaming;

“never wanted to dance with nobody but you wouldn’t take no for an answer—you fucking bitch!” it was so strange hearing historia swear, but your ‘homegirls’ seemed cool with it and she was jamming so you smiled at her

“never wanted to dance, with nobody but you—!“ sasha joined, jumping up and down like a child.

gotta love the enthusiasm.

it wasn’t long before the entire venue was alive, all screaming the same lyrics to the same song

it was electric.

you forgot what you were originally there for, not remembering until the six of you were in the bathroom, freshening up

“did you have fun?” mikasa combed her fingers through her hair, glancing at all of you through the mirror,

“are you kidding?” historia laughed, “i’m ecstatic about it!”

“life-changing!” sasha giggled, almost as if she was loopy, and ymir nodded, “it was pretty fun”

“not bad” that’s annie for: i had fun

“that’s better. . .” you let out a sigh as you stared at yourself in the mirror

all the excitement left you with a youthful glow, but the screaming left you looking like you hadn’t slept in five years

if you’re gonna be meeting eren and agency representatives, you’re gonna need to look decent

it wasn’t long after you chugged a bunch of water, and fixed your appearance, that sasha was already dragging you towards the door

“okay! let’s go backstage—i can smell the food from here!”

“why are you always hungry?”

as soon as you walked into the room, reps were already flooding mikasa; it wasn’t long before they turned their attention to you

your friends left you alone to converse with them, and you’d scheduled a couple castings before skipping up to your friends—who was talking to the band—holy shit, they’re looking at you.

deadass, they all just stopped whatever they were doing and looked at you—maybe it was because you so hard to ignore when you were literally beaming

“hi! i’m [y/n]! i’m friends with them!”

“oh, hey!” they all greeted, “nice to meet you”

all of you moved the ensuing conversation to a seating area in the corner.

seeing as there was no room left on the couch your friends decided to sit on, you plopped yourself down on the loveseat across from them

you started cursing yourself out the moment eren slid into the empty seat beside you—because of course he did

your heart was slamming against your rib cage, meanwhile, eren was chilling. your best effort to combat this was just pretending he didn’t exist

you looked around you.

it was crazy; they were just like the movies, so cool and laid back—or maybe it’s the drugs, you thought, cutting your eyes to eren, who was shamelessly rolling up on the glass table—already reminded of his existence

he glanced up at you, a teasing smile playing on his lips, “you smoke?”

“no—no, i don’t. but thank you” you clear your throat and force a chuckle.

“sure, princess” the nickname flowed from his lips so effortlessly; he already moved on, but you were still shocked about it.

your body was tense, but armin smiled at you sweetly as asked you a question, “you’re the same age as miki, right?”

you smiled upon hearing the nickname come from him

they must’ve been friends before, too

seemingly interested, connie asked follow-up questions, leaning his body towards you, “you in college? what’s your major?”

you nodded feverishly, telling them your major with a proud smile; they smiled back.

“got a partner?”

you could feel his burning gaze on you, and everyone who was once talking stopped to look at the brunette

his bandmates looked quite dissatisfied with him

mikasa’s weighty gaze burdened him, but eren didn’t seem to notice.

she sighed, and turned to you with a softer glance, “[n/n], you can come sit by me, if—“

“—no need to be like that” eren chuckled, lighting the blunt resting between his lips, “she’s hot, i’m not allowed to think that?”

jean crosses his arms, “yeah, but you don’t need to eye-fuck her, man”

“sorry,” he looked at you, “i’d say he’s not normally like this but. . .”

resting his arms behind you, eren leans back; you made the mistake of looking at him—of course, what you find is him staring back at you with those damn eyes of his

“. . .just returning the favor”

you tried to hide it, but you couldn’t deny how your body became rigid after he said that to you

did he really see that? that is so embarrassing—fuck

it was only worsened when you tried to explain yourself, only coming out as stammers

“i—i wasn’t—“

“—you never answered my question” you were humiliated, like a small girl underneath his gaze.

you cast your eyes down to your lap, “no. i don’t have one—a partner”

“good.” he leans towards you, shoulders touching yours; his breath was fanning against the shell of your ears

the leather beneath him made noise as he moved his hands; his calloused fingers graze the back of your neck and you shivered at this.

“so is it cool if i—“

“—pause.” ymir stood up, the sudden action gaining everyone’s attention

she walks toward you, and you seriously thought they were about to start boxing, “thanks for the hospitality.” thankfully, she just grabbed you—yanking you to your feet with a wild amount of force.

“but we’re leaving.”

tags!

@butterfly-skinnylegend

@y-yinyang

[thebadgerclan]

Bored

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x reader

Summary:  An extremely poor choice of words...

So this is based off of a conversation I had over on character.ai!  It’s a super fun website to mess around on, and it’s actually given me some ideas to flesh out over here!

For once, the Slat was quiet.  Jesper was lounging on one of the couches in the common area, you lying with your head in his lap, one hand resting on your chest.  “Hey, Jes?” you asked, breaking the peaceful silence.  “Yeah, lovely?” your boyfriend responded, looking at you with a lazy smile on his face.  “Would you ever want to get married?”  Without meaning to, Jesper let his smile fall, his face going slack.

“M-marriage?  What makes you ask that, Y/N?”  Suddenly, the tear in the carpet was very interesting, and you couldn’t help but feel that Jesper was avoiding your gaze.  “Well, I love you,” you said.  “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  Jesper shifted in his seat, and you could feel the tension rolling off of him.  “Yeah, but…marriage?  Is that the only way?”

Jesper sighs, pinching his brow.  “I don’t need paperwork to tell me that I love you, baby.”  You took his hand, stilling his fidgeting fingers.  “Yeah, but think about it, I’d be Y/H Fahey, wife of the most notorious gunslinger in the Barrell.”  Despite his obvious discomfort, Jesper smiled.  “Alright, that’s a tempting proposition, but I don’t know if I’m exactly the ‘married man’ type.  I’m kind of flighty, you know?  What if I get bored?”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, all Jesper could think was shit, wrong thing to say, why am I so dumb?  Slowly, you sat up, putting a bit of space between the two of you.  “What do you mean, ‘get bored’, Jesper?”  Not Jes, not love, not honey, Jesper.  Shit.  “Well, marriage is a big commitment, Y/N, a big one.  You can’t get out of it when you get bored.  What if you feel trapped?”

Stop talking, idiot, just shut your mouth, he thought.  But Jesper had dug his grave, now he had to lie in it.  “If you get bored…” you said, voice hollow.  “You mean if you get bored of me.”  “No, baby, that’s not what I meant!  I would never get bored of you!”  He reaches out to touch you, but you shift away.  “No, Jesper, that’s exactly what you meant.  I make you feel trapped, right?”

Jesper felt the blood leave his face.  “What, no!  Is…is that what you think?  That you make me feel trapped?”  Tears were pricking at your eyes, and you stood, crossing the room.  “I don’t know, Jesper.  One second I want to spend the rest of my life with you, the next you’re saying that you don’t want to get married because you might get bored.”

“Y/N, baby, I…”  Jesper paused.  He fucked up, he knew that, but there had to be a way to salvage this.  “Come here, love.  We were having such a nice night.”  But you shook your head.  “No, Jesper.  I need space, I need time to think.”  And in a single instant, his worst fear was realized: you were leaving him, you were walking out.

It was as if you realized where his thoughts had gone, because you said, “I still love you, and I will come back, but I need space right now.”  Jesper nodded.  “O-okay.  I love you, Y/N.”  You only nodded.  “I’m going to go stay with Inej for a while,” was all you said before going up to your room to gather some things.  Jesper remained on the cough, staring blankly at the wall.  He’d give you space, he wouldn’t force you to talk; he’d fucked up.  But when you were ready, he’d be begging on his knees for forgiveness.

***

Four days passed before you returned to the Slat.  When you did, it was to find Jesper seated at the bar, Nina at his side.  “H-hi Y/N,” he said when he saw you.  Nina gave you a sympathetic smile before excusing herself, giving you and Jesper the space you needed.  “Can we talk?” you asked, and your boyfriend nodded, moving to sit on the couch.  You sat down next to him, a good foot of space between the two of you.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Jesper said.  “I’m so, so sorry.  What I said was insensitive and stupid, and I didn’t mean it, and I’m so sorry.”  You nodded.  “Thank you.  I won’t lie, Jesper, it hurt, hearing you say that.  I grew up dreaming of finding the man I’d want to spend the rest of my life with, and I finally found him.  But…what you said… ‘if I get bored’, what then?  You’ll leave me, find someone else.”

You took a deep breath.  “Jesper, if you feel trapped in this relationship, I need you to tell me now so we can save ourselves some time and heartbreak.”  He didn’t think it was possible for his heart to shatter all over again, but there it was.  “I’m so sorry, Y/N.  That was my stupid pride talking. I love you so much, baby, so fucking much.  Do you want to get married?  Because if that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”

“Jesper, I don’t want to marry you because it’s what I want, it has to be what you want too.”  The Zemini nods.  “I do, Y/N, I really do.  You’re it for me, baby, I swear.”  He had such conviction in his voice, and you couldn’t help but reach out and take his hand.  “I believe you, Jes.  But it worries me, hearing you say you’re worried about feeling trapped, about getting bored.”

“I know,” he replied, rubbing his thumb over your wrist.  “I just…like the adventure of life right now, and part of me worries I’d lose that if we got married.  Is that stupid?”  “Jesper,” you said, squeezing his hand gently.  “If we got married, do you think anything about your life would change other than the fact that you’d have a wife?”  Jesper laughed, a nervous sound, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.  I…I guess not.  Ghezen, I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” you replied.  “But you’re my idiot.  I love you, Jesper.  And it’s okay if you’re not ready to get married yet.  The only reason I asked is…well…”  Your boyfriend cocked his head.  “Well what, honey?”  With a deep breath, you reached into your pocket.  “Because I had this made for you.”

It was a ring made of the exact same mother-of-pearl as his revolver handles.  Oh Ghezen, you had a ring for him. “Y/N, you..is this…?”  “Jesper Llewelyn Fahey, I love you.  Will you marry me?”  Tears were in his eyes now, and every worry he had, every stupid fear, every misguided idea he’d had about marrying you vanished.

“Yes, Y/N, I will marry you!”  He threw himself into your arms and kissed you, only breaking away when spots were dancing before his eyes from lack of oxygen.  You took Jesper’s hand in yours and slid the ring onto his finger, the pearly white contracting beautiful with his dark skin.  “I will be expecting quite the rock when we get married,” you teased, and Jesper laughed, kissing you deeply.  “Whatever you want, lovely.  Anything you want.”

[instepwithhostility]

An Open (and Way Funnier) Letter to Chris Evans

This is SATIRE. I will say it again: this is a parody. It is meant to be humorous because I needed a laugh while staring at the bonfire of my social yesterday.

Dear Mr. Evans,

It’s been a week…or whatever. Honestly, I’m so exhausted by hearing about you experiencing average human life that I don’t know what day it is anymore. How dare you. I have very limited brain power and bad knees, so the number of times I’ve had to get up and walk away from my computer or phone is criminal. I’m holding you personally responsible because that’s obviously an accurate assessment of fault in this moment.

I have one, very personal, highly inappropriate thing that I deserve to know about you since you exist for our entertainment.

This question has plagued me for the many years I’ve been a fan desperately trying to avoid knowing fuck-all about your real life because I thought it wasn’t my business. I was clearly wrong, and for that I apologize. I’ll be sure to dial up my crazy in the future.

Sir.

Mr. Evans.

Chris, if I may be so bold.

Did you have a decent and professional waxologist for your work on Captain America: The First Avenger?

I have lain awake at night for a decade worried that someone 40-Year-Old Virgined you, and no one deserves that. This is something I cannot go back to my gremlin hole without knowing, so my life is in your hands now. Don’t fail me.

ANOTHER THING.

Quit saying you aren’t a cat guy, you lying sack of shit!

You probably stare out into nature and watch the fucking birds. You probably get random bursts of energy that annoy the crap out of other people in the room. Tap dancing is the equivalent of making biscuits on someone’s eardrums and then just jumping away.

You know that Scott is the human equivalent of a cat—right down to the contemplation of murder all the time and purposefully scaring the living daylights out of you at every opportunity—and you love that guy.

You’re a dog and cat guy, bro. Check yourself.

ONE OTHER THING (likely followed by nine other other things that definitely have to do with you).

How the every-loving fuck have you found time to date? Best I can do is work up the energy to text my friend “kill me” once a week, and you went out there and like tried to make someone like you?!?

Now I’m even more exhausted.

Look, I know you sold your soul long ago to still be hot and have energy past the age of forty, dickhead. We get it. You survive off the ignorance we shed on your ‘educational’ and ‘easy to use,’ ‘non-partisan’ website that just may make America less shitty again, but I will repeat: how dare you.

I don’t like being reminded I’m lazy, I don’t like when people tell me something isn’t my business—except don’t ask what my business is because fuck you,—and since I don’t like those things, I shouldn’t ever, ever have to deal with them.

You need to respond to this entirely random and useless commentary about your life from a person you don’t know and will never meet.

And just so you know, I will be waiting for that response because I have nothing better to do with my time or life.

Sincerely,

IDK Some Sad, Dumb Bitch

P.S. I’m beginning to think that Canadian attack with a mustache photo was well-deserved, but I’m still so traumatized that that thing grew on your face, I will not be mentioning it. Only in the postscript. Because no one reads the postscript and every opinion I have is 100% valid and accurate.

[alchemic-writings]

A Welcome Distraction Ch.2

This Story Is 18+ You can find Ch.1 here

My eye twitches as I look at the message in front of me. 

[1:14 am] (MOD) StarRaven:

Are you stupid?

What a great way to welcome someone to your community! I hear Ais and Vere both groan behind me as they stare at the same message. “God, I recognize that profile picture. This moderator is such a bore,”  Vere flips his hair over his shoulder as he continues, “I once made a post advertising my cam show and they banned me for a month!” Ais nods his head in recognition of the memory, “Mn, their kink must be having a stick up their ass or something. I don’t get how they can ever meet anyone here when they’re such a buzzkill.” 

I sigh as my fingers hover over the keyboard. “It makes sense for them to be suspicious of my thread. They probably think I’m a bot or a scammer or something.” 

[1:14 am] (MOD) StarRaven:

Are you stupid?

[1:17 am] Dreadful Hands:

Hi! I’m so sorry, my friend wrote that post as a joke. 

If you could delete that for me and let me write

 a PROPER introduction I promise it’ll be less like a bot lol.

I lean back and cross my arms, “See guys? Sometimes the best thing to do is to not be constantly antagonistic! Just apologizing can get you a long way instead of being an ass,” my lecture is paused as a new message notification pops up. 

[1:19 am] (MOD) StarRaven:

I’ve deleted your post, but I’m going to need

 to approve of your new introduction before I can let you send it. 

You obviously have no idea what you’re doing and neither does your friend. 

Laughter fills the air behind me as Ais and Vere read over my shoulder. Ais puts his head on my shoulder as he pats my head, “Does little sparrow need to get permission from their teacher before they can post on the bdsm website?” I shake him off as I turn to point at the two of them, “You two are the reason I’m in this situation!” Vere covers his grin with a hand, “Well what kind of response did you expect from a dom?” I pause. This moderator is a dom? I click on their username which leads me to their profile. I can now see their profile picture larger now and I can’t stop my jaw from dropping. It’s a simple picture of their back, but it is covered with beautiful black ink to form raven wings from the nape of their neck all the way down to their cute dimples on their lower back. Under the layer of dark ink is beautiful pale skin that lets me see the way their muscles are toned but not bulky. They could easy manhandle someone while still keeping a lithe figure that would be delicious to dig my nails into- 

“Hellooooo? Earth to dumbass?” I am snapped out by the motion of Vere’s hand waving in front of my face. I sent a glare his way, “What?” Ais responds for him with a shit eating grin, “We just didn’t want you drooling all over the keyboard is all.” My face begins to flush as I scramble for a response, “Wha- I was not- I did not drool.” One of Ais’s eyebrows quirk as he points to the corner of his lip. I raise my hand to my own before gasping when my fingers make contact with wetness. The two begin laughing as I quickly wipe the liquid from my mouth, “Okay, maybe I just appreciate a nice tattoo!” Ais flexes his arm, causing the inked tentacles on him to bludge. I roll my eyes at the action and return my eyes to StarRaven’s profile. 

Their only picture is the one they have as their profile image, but they do have a description in their bio

[(MOD) StarRaven: 26, Dom, Masters Student at Senobium University] 

Short and simple, all the necessary information someone might need about them. I sigh as I look over the rest of their completely blank profile. They’ve never made their own forum thread unless it was to remind others of community guidelines or to respond to any questions or to give advice to others posts. Based on their responses they’re extremely knowledgeable in bdsm and willing to answer reasonable questions. I bite my lip as I close the laptop. I absolutely cannot let these two know what I’m planning lest they bully me into oblivion. “I’m too tired to bother typing out an intro post now. I’m going to get changed and crash on the couch,” I sit up and pick up my clothes that I left unceremoniously on the floor in the closet before heading to the bathroom. 

As soon as the door is locked I quickly pull out my phone. I download the app and enter my login information. Adrenaline causes my fingers to shake as I open the private messages icon and begin typing.

[1:32 am] Dreadful Hands:

I totally have no idea what I’m getting into with bdsm…

But I really want to!!

Would you be willing to answer my questions?

I promise no stupid ones!   

I quickly turn off my phone and set it on the counter before beginning to change back into my original clothes. There was no turning back and if I get rejected, who cares? They’re just a random stranger, it’s not like there aren’t hundreds of doms I can ask for advice from, that I can get dominated by. A shiver still runs down my back at the thought of running my nails down those black wings regardless… 

When I finish changing, I immediately make my way out of the bathroom and enter the darkness of Vere’s room. The two have already decided to turn in for the night, Ais holding onto Vere and playing with the latter's hair when his eyes flit up to meet mine. A soft smile rests on Vere’s face as he hums in his sleep. I send Ais a sympathetic look but he shakes his head in response. He blames himself for catching romantic feelings for Vere, but I can’t help but feel my heart break for him as I see him literally hold what he wants but also not be close enough. I quietly step out of the bedroom and close the door behind me, giving the two privacy that I am sure Ais appreciates. 

I settle onto the sofa in the living room and wrap myself in the blanket hanging off of it as I pull out my phone again and see I have received new messages on Collared. With bated breath I open the app, fully prepared to be rejected.   

[1:38 am] (MOD) StarRaven:

You really must be desperate.

Asking a stranger to explain bdsm to you…

But if I say no you’ll just ask someone else and get hurt.

Fine. Ask away. 

My feet kick under the blanket at my success as I quickly respond back.

[1:56 am] Dreadful Hands:

Thank you Thank you!!

I promise not to let you down >:3

Ok first question:

What do you do if someone is all tied up 

But they need to use the restroom??

[1:57am] (MOD) StarRaven:

You’re going to make me regret agreeing to this. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A yawn leaves my mouth as I rub my eyes; I ended up texting with StarRaven until 4 am when they logged off saying they needed to head into work. Despite them insisting that they cannot be on their phone at their job, they continue responding to my messages within an hour. I suppose I’m no better, though. Hiding in the corner of the front counter while I look down at my phone in glee as I type my next message.

 [10:17 am] DreadfulHands:

I feel like I’ve just spilled my heart

out for you to dissect lol.

When are you gonna share your kinks??

[10:17 am] (MOD) StarRaven:

I’m not going to. 

[10:18 am] DreadfulHands:

Whhhaaatt why not??

I feel like I’m being taken advantage of now ;A;

Aren’t we supposed to trust each other and share

this stuff with each other?? You said yourself that

communication is the most important part of bdsm.

[10:18 am] (MOD) StarRaven:

 We’re not each other’s dom/sub.

Unlike some I don’t want to share that

with every person I come across online. 

I only share that when I meet someone in person 

for a session zero.

My eyes flit over to the room around me after I read their message. The cafe had already finished its brunch rush and we won’t expect more customers for at least another hour. When my eyes find my screen again I begin typing out my response before I can even process what I’m asking for. 

[10:20 am] DreadfulHands:

What if we had a session zero, then?

I watch as the typing bubble pops up, attention completely focused on their response. It’s true that I haven’t known Raven for even twelve hours but dammit I wanted them! I haven't felt this drawn to someone since Quinn, and having the ability to explore something I’ve always been interested in pulling me towards them even more. 

A cough from behind me startles me out of my thoughts so much that I jump, nearly dropping my phone. I scramble to catch it midair as I hear the same voice chuckle at my reaction. I confirm the cause of my mini heart attack when I turn around and find my boss, Leander, standing in front of me with his arms crossed and a carefree smile on his face. 

Once he has my attention he begins to walk towards me before stopping an arms length away, “Had a fun night last night?” A blush forms on my face as I look towards him. “W-what do you mean by that?” He hums as he eyes me up and down, “Well your clothes are wrinkled, you look like you didn’t get a second of sleep, and you’ve been on your phone your entire shift.” I cringe at how observant Leander is. His care for others can be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing when he noticed how miserable I was after breaking up with Quinn and giving me an entire week off, and a curse as he eyes me right now, waiting for a response. 

I finally got the courage to look him in the eyes, “Not in that way I’m afraid, I spent the night with Vere and Ais,” Leander gives a nod in understanding. Those two have visited me at my job before, but they never stay for long and it’s very brief. But even a brief encounter with them can reveal their attitudes. “It’s good to hangout with your friends, a distraction is needed every once in a while. Just try to focus while you’re on the floor, okay?” I nod, “Yes’sir! I won’t let it happen again.” A soft smile forms on Leander’s lips before he sighs, “I know that It’s a Sunday, but seriously between you and Mhin it seems like everyone is distracted today.”

The mood in the front of the store immediately sours at the mention of our coworker. Mhin, our baker and resident sourpuss. They come in at 5 am every morning to get everything ready for the day and prepare the foods that will be sold tomorrow. I only see them for at most an hour every shift before they clock out at 10 am to head home. Every attempt I have made to be friendly towards them has been met with rejection. It's a mystery how someone is so bitter and creates pastries that are so sweet. Maybe it’s because they pour any sweetness they have into their baked goods. Based on the time it seems that Leander’s statement is true, it’s already thirty minutes past when Mhin would usually clock out for the day. The image of Mhin being glued to their phone seems like an oxymoron. As far as I’m aware they only have one friend, a doctor named Kuras, that has only shown up to visit Mhin once since I’ve worked here. I find it hard to believe there would be anyone they could be excited enough to text throughout their shift. 

I can feel my phone buzz in my pocket as my heart tightens. That must be Raven’s response to my suggestion. They took such a long time to respond to it that my blood pressure begins to rise at the thought of what they have said. Buzz. Buzz. They’re sending multiple messages. My heart begins to pound as I excuse myself to use the restroom, but as I turn the corner I slam myself into someone else. Strong hands find my waist to push me back from the person I just ran into.

 As I step back to apologize I am met with a harsh voice instead, “God, can’t you watch where you’re going?” Any thought of an apology is lost in anger as I snap back, “Watch where I’m going? You’re the one on your fucking phone!” My eyes flit down to the black cellphone in their hands. Their eyes squint at me and a blush begins to form on their cheeks as they pull up the hood of their jacket to hide it and push past me instead of responding. I don’t breathe until I hear the bell of the front of the store signaling their departure. I sigh as I begin to walk slowly to the bathroom. 

Once the lock clicks into place on the door I slide against it while pulling out my phone. I unlocked it and finally read the messages from Raven.

[10:31 am] (MOD) StarRaven:

God, you really are desperate. 

Fuck.

Fine, yeah. We can have a session zero.

Just don’t… Don’t have any high expectations, ok?

My heart begins to skip again but this time out of excitement rather than anxiety. Raven actually wants to meet me, and based on their texts they’re just as desperate as I am. I bite my lip as I hold my phone to my chest while proceeding to do exactly what they told me not to do. But how could I not hold high expectations? My first time meeting with a dom to have sessions with. Even though they haven’t brought up their previous relationships I can tell that they’re knowledgeable in a way that you don’t get from just being in a forum. 

A dull ache begins to form between my legs as I rub my thighs together to try to relieve it. I don’t even know what they look like or if they’d want to have sex with me but I’m already imagining them tying me down to the bed to do whatever they want to me. A shiver runs down my spine just like when Ais put that collar on my neck last night. This… This is what submission is like. And I can already tell this isn’t something I’ll be able to live without now that I’m finally getting a taste of it. I snap out of my thoughts and look back to the open messages on my screen. 

[10:38 am] Dreadful Hands:

When can we meet?

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 18-- Coffin/Bat

Content warnings: typical vampire possessiveness and lots of talk of biting

Unknown has barely gotten back to Magenta after fleeing the apartment when he notices that you've been bombarding him with messages. He had to leave his phone in the intelligence room for this mission; it's too big and bulky for him to lug around in bat form. Now that he's transformed back, though, he can indulge in a bit of idle conversation.

MC: If you're really a vampire MC: Do you like MC: Sleep in a coffin?

Unknown rolls his eyes. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? He'd been about to bite you when Luciel had arrived to ward him off, brandishing a vial of holy water like it couldn't very well burn him, too. In retrospect, Unknown should have taken his chances and tipped the vial the other way, but it had been too much hassle over just some human— he had simply turned into a bat and flown away. He figured that in doing so, he would force Luciel to explain the particulars of their situation to you, and you would be so disgusted with the monster sharing your apartment that you'd beg Unknown to come and save you. At least the Mint Eye vampires don't toy with humans the way Luciel does, pretending to be normal and then presenting their fangs. Unknown, unlike that redhead, came in with his fangs already out, entirely prepared to show you his true colors and mark you as his own in one fell swoop.

Unknown: yes Unknown: so does your boyfriend MC: He's not my boyfriend MC: He won't even talk to me MC: And he says he's not gonna sleep MC: I’m really worried MC: Should I try to find a coffin for him?  MC: Would he be more comfortable?  MC: Is there like a coffin website that you order them from?

It's certainly not a testament to your wisdom that you're volunteering such sensitive information— but if vampire lore is what it takes to gain your trust, then so be it. All that Unknown needs to do is get you close enough to bite, and then all this will be over. At the apartment, you brushed your hair away, offering him your neck— trusting him, foolishly, and not even thinking about the how the RFA members might respond to such a betrayal. Luciel interrupted something that was none of his business, in keeping with the beastly nature that he tries so hard to hide. Vampires are possessive creatures, after all, and that redhead clearly sees both you and the apartment as his territory. 

Unknown: We don't have to sleep very often, prince(ss) Unknown: And he'll be watching you like a hawk from now on Unknown: In case I try to come back and claim you MC: You should have bitten me faster MC: And then we wouldn't have this problem Unknown: Careful with that attitude Unknown: You want me to save you, don't you? Unknown: So you should be respectful MC: Okay, listen here, bat boy

Unknown can't help but chuckle. It was one thing when you challenged him without knowing what he was, but now, it's clear you're well aware, so why are you playing around? You must really trust him, then. Good.

Unknown: Careful

He already knows very well that you’re not going to heed his warning, but he figures he may as well offer it anyway. After all, if you had any sense, you would stop challenging strange vampires and start thinking about your own self-preservation.

MC: I know Seven means well MC: But he won't let me out of his sight MC: And he moves so fast? Unknown: Mhm Unknown: I can move a lot faster MC: Not fast enough to bite me though MC: Lol Unknown: You'll be mine soon enough MC: Ok  MC: If you say so MC: Anyway  MC: Can you go out in the sun? MC: Seven isn't answering any of my vampire questions

Of course— that redhead is obviously ashamed of what he is. He wears a crucifix that can never touch his skin, a perpetual reminder of his guilt and an open denial of his vampire nature. Judging by your messages, he hasn’t even shown you his bat form yet, and probably never will. Luciel is playing at being human, though he’s doing a shit job of it, if he can’t even stop himself from moving at his natural speed. Unknown, on the other hand, has embraced his monstrosity. He doesn't care who knows what he's become: he’s a creature of the night, which means that he’s entitled to as much snarling, biting, and flying as he sees fit.

Unknown: And he never will Unknown: If you want answers, then you have to come to me

You leave him on read; from what Unknown can see on the security camera feed, you've been caught fraternizing with the enemy— Luciel is obviously lecturing you, and Unknown can see why. Vampires are possessive, after all, and no matter how much he denies his nature, Luciel is as much a vampire as Unknown is. V made sure of that, didn't he, when he took that redhead under his wing? After some consideration, Unknown elects to offer you a promise, though it's not a very romantic one:

Unknown: soon, prince(ss)

[drill-teeth]

I’ve been working on spending less time on tumblr. Which I’m glad about because it’s doing wonders for my mental health. But real quick I wanted to make a post about one of the reasons why.

So like. The amount of and speed of parasocial attachment and people expecting me to behave the way they want me to always that happens on this website is genuinely distressing. Over on my art blog, I don’t even have that big a following. More than the casual tumblr user, and I’m lucky to have it! But I’m not raking in the notes and commissions by any means. I have a relatively small following that I appreciate. And still I’ve had these like. Disturbing instances of people on anon coming in my inbox taking one of my posts EXTREMELY personally as if I was talking directly about or to them. Or overstepping my boundaries big time by reading a post I made and assuming immediately that it’s okay to vent in my inbox and ask me for very specific personal life advice. Or an extremely invasive question sent to my inbox on anon that I responded to saying that it was invasive and rude and afterwards finding out someone who’d been chatting with me a little in DMs sent that to me and blocked me immediately after my reply.

And it’s like. Stressful. It’s really stressful. It’s definitely not the WORST thing that could be happening to me. But I am also going through a lot in my personal life actually. And it would be nice when I logged onto my silly app to post art if people didn’t leave a paragraph anon message to me about how they were personally hurt and slighted by my most recent inbox boundary reminder post. And I’m like??? I don’t know you hello??? Or do I know you and now someone I know is just mad at me but I don’t know who? Like! That’s stressful! Please stop assuming so much personal malice from me. Like I don’t know you I’m just posting.

And for me. Personally. These interactions thankfully aren’t the majority of my online experience. But it’s still very uncomfortable and I’m like. Begging people to understand that like. When you send someone an anon message and they misunderstand it or even understand it just fine but don’t like it, like. That’s fine. The people you’re reaching out to online are PEOPLE. They’re not perfect. They’re not monsters for responding to you with frustration one time. And if you’ve never interacted with them in private, then genuinely they don’t know you and you don’t know them. So treat them as you would like. Talking to your favorite artist at their comic con booth or something. Treat them as a person you haven’t met.

And look it’s also shitty to send these sorts of anons to neurotypical people. But I will also add that like. Sometimes this shit is a NIGHTMARE on my paranoid delusions. And since I can’t force people on tumblr to approach me as a person, clearly. Then I’ll spend less time on it. Because I have to take care of me.

[gondaleer]

Soseki Natsume from Ace Attorney is trying to punish me for making this video so I’m posting it on more websites.

I’m explaining this in green text format bc I’m laughing my ass off

> I make this twink edit of soseki natsume ace attorney bc I’m watching a streamer and friends play through the game

> I get impacted teeth removed. Between that stream and the next. Shit goes well but chronic pain issues make it so I mostly have 1 eye during recovery

> I have stitches that dissolve. They half dissolve so I have random holes in my mouth before it’s fully connected and still have half stitches that pull on the gums so it’s this weird more inflamed than usual situation (The skin will fill in. This is fine in the long run. I’ve had a doctor look @ it)

> I make geometric Wagahai. I get a memo while making it I have a meeting the next day. I do not make plans but I am the speaker and the plan maker isnt responding

> I do not sleep well bc what the fuck is happening with the meeting. What am I presenting.

> I post Geometric Wagahai in the morning

> Within a minute tumblr recommends me a post of a man naked in the raw. penis out. because I follow the gay tag

> I make the penis magnet edit of wagahai on my phone bc I’m about to leave for meeting

> Get hit by car on the way to meeting.

> Oh. Don’t have to go to meeting. Call planner and she heads over while police report is filed. We still have to go to meeting. (Why tf did the woman who hit me try to pull over on the bridge to trade information)

> show up @ meeting hall and no one’s there. There is no meeting. Car has been hit by another for nothing.

> go home intending to take meds for my mouth. I get home and am immediately told the meeting was rescheduled to later.

> leave without taking meds to be on time for meeting

> 3 fucking people show up because the planner didn’t remind anyone and now she’s pissed bc “oh they where told at the last meeting”. Last meeting was a month ago + over half of the people are first years

Soseki Natsume from Ace Attorney you can’t stop me just by giving me a Soseki Natsume in England experience. It only fuels me. I was here before you Soseki Natsume Ace Attorney and while your name will be repeated for longer after death than mine, you’re already dead and can’t draw me in shitty memes. I’m going to obliterate you Soseki Natsume Ace Attorney.