#you’re kidding yourself if you think a zoom in on hand-holding isn’t meant to be seen as romantic

[deathon1leg]

this shot always gets me. it’s not even the action of mike putting his hand on will’s that gets me though. it’s the decision they made to ZOOM IN on their hands,,,,, to frame the action as romantic,,,,

it wouldn’t really be unusual for dustin or lucas to comfort will in the same way, but it would definitely be unusual if they zoomed in on it, because that has implications and people would be asking questions.

i think it’s really clever how mike and will’s relationship was always shown to be different than any other two in the party, because it makes the GA not think twice about a shot like this, and they can sprinkle in scenes that would otherwise be universally recognized as romantic without anyone getting too suspicious.

this is a perfect way for them to do a “actually, byler’s been there the whole time” grand reveal that smacks everyone in the face. they secured themselves a “that’s just how mike and will are” excuse that’ll serve them all the way until byler endgame.

[triplexdoublex]

Pornstar

Pairings: Colson x Reader

Warnings/Tags: rough sex, anal sex, face fucking, gagging, spit, spitting in mouth, slight bondange, golden showers, pissing in mouth, slapping across face, being filmed.

A/N: Shout out to Shawnie ( @heytheregreeneyes) for always letting me use her as my OC and being my best friend. Also Colson isn’t MGK in this, just a pornstar so his personality isn’t as cocky as he usually is. I know I’ve mentioned it before but the sex in this is loosely based off my fave porn star Small Hands AKA Aaron Thompson. Hope this was worth the wait. Lemme know what you think! “Open it, open it!” Your roommate and best friend Shawnie stood before you with a gift bag in hand, shaking it excitedly.

“My birthday’s not even until this weekend,” You laughed taking the bag from her. “You sure you don’t want me to wait? It’s only a few more days.”

“ No please, I’ve kept this a secret for long enough, it’s killing me! Just open it!” She exclaimed. “Plus your gonna need time to prepare.”

“Prepare?” 

“C’mom, just open it, open it, open it!!!” She was far too excited. You wondered what it could be that she was so eager to give you. But what you pulled out of the bag just left you with even more questions. 

“Thanks???” You said confused, holding up a sexy red lace bra and matching g- string that tied at hips. 

“That’s only part of it,” she assured you. “What’s your biggest wish?” She tried to clue you in.

“Ummm paying off all my student debt?” You answered still puzzled. “Did you get me a job as a stripper?” You laughed.

“Okay, maybe ‘wish’ was the wrong word to use … hmmm—oh biggest fantasy!” She corrected herself. 

“Oh to fuck my favorite porn star Huge Hands, AKA Colson Baker. You know that — wait … no, no way!”  You exclaimed as your friend started frantically nodding her head yes. “Shut up!!! What? You’re kidding. Like how?”

“Look in the bag . There’s more!” 

You reached into the bag and pulled out a pass of some kind and read it aloud. “Huge Hands/Colson Baker : Exclusive Access, Porn Star for a Day pass” 

“They were super limited, I have no clue how I managed to snag one, but I’m so happy I did! The look on your face right now is priceless!” Shawnie laughed. “It’s probably because you’re the only one I know who’s  crazy enough to actually go through with this.”

“I-I don’t even know what to say. I have no words… thank you.” You expressed your gratitude, still in shock. “I’m really about to have the best sex of my life this weekend! On my birthday yet! Have you seen his fucking cock, it’s huuuge!”

“Yes, many times,” Shawnie chuckled , entertained by how pumped you are. “Or did you forget about all the links of his umm ‘work’ you’ve sent me?” Shawnie wasn’t big on porn herself but she was always willing to take an interest in your latest obsessions, no matter what they were. That’s what you loved most about her. “Turn it over, it tells you more about what’s included on the back.”

You did as she suggested, turning the pass over to read more. “Half hour zoom call day before to privately discuss details, and needs/wants of scene; hair and make up; up to one hour of shooting time; and keepsake autographed DVD recording,” you listed off. “You know I’m gonna watch that everyday for the rest of my life, right?” 

“I’m assuming you’re gonna make me watch it at least once too, knowing you,” Shawnie laughed. 

“Yeah probably,” you laughed as well. “ I got no shame!”

*************

You’re stomach was in knots as you waited for the zoom call to begin; you’d never felt so excited and  nervous at the same time. Shawnie was there with you sitting just out of frame, when the ‘bloop’ of the call came through your computer's speakers. 

“Hi, Y/N?” Colson questioned.

“Yeah, hi. That’s me!” You did a timid little wave.

“Ok good, just wanted to make sure I got the right person before we get started here. Imagine that … Awkward!,” he laughed, and you instantly began to relax; you could tell he was going to be easy to talk to. “Well, obviously you know what I do , but I’d love to hear a little about you. Says here on your forms you’re a college student?”

“Wait, what forms?” You asked.

“The ones you filled out online with your info and kinks and things you wanted to include in our video when you purchased the Pornstar for a day package,” he answers slightly confused. 

“Ohhh, my friend bought me this for my birthday, she must have filled them out.” You responded. “She’s right here. Say hi Shawnie!”

“Hi!” She giggled leaning into frame. 

“Hello. Wow this must be some “friendship” he joked making air quotes. “Because this is a very detailed list. You gotta hear this.” He smirks. “Written in the section about what you hope to include in our scene says— and  I quote: I want Huge Hands/ Colson to absolutely destroy me. I want him to fuck my throat, my pussy and my ass. I want him to slap me around, and spit and piss in my mouth, and anything else he wants to do to me, I’m all for it.”  He choked out a laugh pulling dramatically at the collar of his shirt “Whew, I’m the pornstar here and that’s even got me blushing!”

“Oh my God, Shawnie!” You covered your beet red face.

“What!?, did I lie?” She laughed.

“I mean no, but still. Damn, to hear it out loud like that.” Your eyes bulged. 

“So it’s true then?” Colson asked slyly.

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” you hid your smile behind your hand, shaking your head in embarrassed disbelief.

“Aye,  no need to be embarrassed, we’re gonna have fun tomorrow, I can tell,” he smiled. “I’m especially excited that your interested in Anal. It’s kinda my favorite. I’m assuming you’ve done it before?” 

“Yeah,” you answered simply.

“Do you enjoy it?” He asked.

“Tell him what your ex said!”  Shawnie blurted out. 

“Oh, boy. I gotta hear this,” he chuckled. “What’d the ex say?”

You inhaled deeply before speaking, “I do enjoy it, probably more than regular sex, if I’m being honest,” you admitted. There was no use trying to be coy now. “Uhhh he actually said I could be a pornstar since I can take a hard anal pounding so well.” 

“Nice!” He exclaimed. “Girl, after my own heart.”

“Jesus Christ, this conversation has me sweating already,” you chuckled standing up to pull your cardigan off. 

“Is that a little tattoo I saw there, peaking out of the top of your jeans?” He asked. 

“Yeah, you wanna see?” You unzipped your jeans without waiting for a response and lowered the top of your underwear just enough to show him. 

“ The Playboy bunny, huh? How fitting,” he teased.

“What can I say, it was my first tattoo,” you giggled “Seemed like that’s what everyone was getting at the time.”

“What else you got going on down there?” He lifted his head as if trying to see more. “Is that a landing strip?” He asked referring to the thin dark stripe of short curls just  barely visible above the band of your lowered underwear. “Can I see?” 

“Yeah, sure,” you lowered them further exposing yourself, your inhibition long gone at that point. “This is just how I normally like to groom. I can shave it completely if you prefer?” 

“Nah, it’s perfect,” he smiled. “Well, I think I have a pretty good idea now of what you like and what we’ll be getting ourselves into tomorrow. Do you have any questions or anything else you want me to know, before we end the call?” 

“I don’t think so,” you said. “Shawnie pretty much laid it all out on those forms,” you laughed. 

“That she did!” He produced a chuckle as well. “I meant to ask earlier, but, since she knows so much about your kinks and what not, have you two ever —“

“ No, just best friends, I tend to overshare, I guess.” 

“Yeah it amazes me sometimes, the things women  share with their friends, but yet guys are always the ones who are known to kiss and tell and brag about their conquests. Females can be just as bad, y’all just keep it on the low a little better,” he stated. “Well, I look forward to working with you tomorrow. Take care, and I’ll see you soon.”

“Can’t wait!” You responded. “Bye.”

“Bye,”

You felt oddly comforted and at ease after the call, no longer a ball of nerves or embarrassment. He made you feel like there was no shame in enjoying the things you did. He was very professional despite the nature of the call; it didn’t feel sleezy or overly salacious; just two consenting adults having a mature conversation about their sexual desires. 

*************************

When you walked out of hair and make-up and onto set, you saw Colson waiting for you on a red leather couch. He was clad in only black dress pants; shirtless — his tattoos on full display. He smiled seductively when he saw you, beckoning you over with a pat to his thighs. You undid your silk robe they had given you and let it slip from your shoulders to the floor, revealing the red lacy set Shawnie had bought you, as you made your way over to him. You suddenly became very aware of all the cameras and other people in the room, as you sat on his lap. Somehow it has slipped your mind that they were all a part of what went into this.

“You get used to it,” he said softly , remembering the way he felt his first time in front of the cameras. “Just pretend they’re not even there— only me and you, okay?” He said brushing a finger along your thigh. “Unless, Shawnie forgot to mention you’re an exhibitionist too, then by all means enjoy them watching us fuck,” he joked, making you laugh. “Don’t forget, if you need me to stop at anytime for any reason, just give me three quick taps,” he demonstrated, tapping your thigh. “Don’t worry about the filming, they can always edit and piece things back together if needed. This is all for you and I want you to enjoy yourself. Oh and happy birthday by the way! It’s today right?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Thank you.”

“Ok, so we’ll just start the scene with some kissing and light touches, and when I feel you’re ready I’ll signal the camera man, he’ll call action, and then we'll be recording.”

“Sounds good,” you nodded your head. He had made you feel so comfortable and relaxed the last bit of nervousness you chalked up to just being slightly star struck; You never thought in a million years you’d get this opportunity.

“Ready?,” he pressed his forehead to yours, staring directly into your eyes, the corners of his mouth turned up into the most alluring devilish grin. 

“Ready,” you echoed back, biting your lip trying to suppress a needy whine. God you were always such a sucker for his killer eye contact in his films, and now you were the one his eyes were soul fucking. You’re heart pounded with excited anticipation as Colson’s face drew nearer to your own. He lightly held your chin as he pressed his lips to yours, parting them to introduce his tongue. It was a welcome greeting, cut short by the breathy “oh fuck ” that involuntarily slipped from your lips.

“”You good?” He laughed softly, a small puff of air the only thing separating your mouths; your foreheads still touching. 

“More...than good,” you spoke in a short choppy sentence trying to compose yourself. 

“That’s what I like to hear,” he smirked against your lips, continuing to kiss you. 

You melted into his kisses— slow and gentle at first,  increasing in intensity as he carried on. When he nipped at your bottom lip with a low groan, you lost all innocence, shifting positions to straddle his lap. You gripped the back of his head, as he kissed you and rolled your hips against him, demanding more. And that’s when he knew … that you were ready.  He quickly signaled to the cameraman with a thumbs up, and “Action” was called. 

His hand slipped down from your chin, settling on the highest part of your neck just under your jaw, his fingers squeezing at your pulse points on either side. Roughly he turned your head to the side with a push of his thumb and his mouth began mauling your neck with an appetite for lust, leaving blooming raspberry patches along the descending path of flesh that lead to your breasts. With one hand he expertly undid the front clasp of your red lace bra and took in the sight of you.

 “Perfect,” he whispered into your flesh with a growl, taking one breast  in each hand as he licked between them, keeping his eyes locked on yours. You slid the silky straps of your lingerie over your shoulders, letting it fall, as he took turns going back and forth between each breast treating each of your nipples to light suction and a pleasurable nibble. You let out a moan at his actions and again rolled your hips in his lap, pressing yourself against the hardening bulge inside his dress pants. “Needy are we?” He teased swiftly  spinning you around so your back was to his chest. He dug his chin into your shoulder peering over it as he snatched up the crotch of your panties roughly, tugging the material up between your lips . You canted your hips up chasing after the friction of the coarse fabric against your clit. “You like that, huh?” He pulled them harsher. 

“Mmmm, yes” you squeaked out, nodding your head.

“Yeah, I bet you do,” he growled nipping at your neck. “Look at this pretty pussy,” he shoved the material to the side exposing you, letting his fingers explore your folds as he pleased. “You want my cock right in here huh?” His voice was so gravelly and low as he slipped a finger inside you, only to quickly pull it back out, teasing you. “Taste yourself,” he brought the finger to your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it, as he slid it further into your mouth, his long fingers slipping down the back of your throat. “Oh, god, yes!” He exclaimed impressed by how you didn’t even gag. “Tell ya what—“ he paused to add a second finger to your mouth, continuing to talk as you sucked “If you can suck my dick as good as that—“   he then pulled them back out of your mouth. “I might just have to fuck you right in here too,” he shoved his spit slicked fingers into your ass.

“Yes, fuck, please!” You whined, wiggling your hips, wanting his fingers deeper.  

“You like that? Huh. You dirty little anal whore!” He grabbed your neck with his free hand, keeping you pinned back against him, the fingers of his other hand still moving inside you.

“Yes, yes! I am,” you strained to speak. “Please, please fuck my ass!” You whined impatiently with pleasure. You never heard yourself sound so needy and desperate in your life.

“You sound you pretty when you beg, but you're gonna have to earn it first,” he demanded pulling out his fingers,  leaving you feeling empty. Quickly, you dropped to your knees in front of the couch as Colson got up standing before you. You waited impatiently while Colson unbuckled his belt above you. Once undone he yanked the belt free from the loops with a satisfying ‘whoosh’ that made you pulse between your thighs. You desperately clawed his pants and boxers  down his legs like a feral cat in heat as Colson brought the tip to your mouth, still holding onto his belt in the other. “Open!,” he demanded. “Goooood,” he growled in praise as you did what you were told. You reached up to grab it but ,“no hands!” he smacked them away, and then secured them behind your back with his belt. “Let’s try this again, open!” He spoke harshly. You obliged, opening wide. “Tongue” he barked.  You let it hang from your mouth with anticipation; eager breaths rolling down it like a panting dog eyeing a steak. He teased you, slapping his cock against your tongue before shoving it fully into your mouth. Your eyes prickled with tears as you fought your gag reflex, taking him down your throat. He held your head in place with one hand , the tip of your nose pressed flush against the coarse hair of his pelvis, as he hunched his body forward over yours untying the sides of your G-string. It slipped from your body leaving you completely nude. Colson smacked your ass, then gripped it harshly, making it jiggle for him before finally standing straight up and pulling his hips back to let you come up for air. 

“Huuuuuuhhhh,” you inhaled sharply gasping for breath, letting oxygen penetrate deep into your lungs before Colson stuffed your mouth again. Mascara ran down your hollowed out cheeks as you sucked. You started pulling back out of instinct when you began to gag but Colson held you in place. 

“No, keep it in your mouth,” he instructed condescendingly, looking down at you. “Just a little longer” he promised. You tried your best, Colson letting out a throaty moan every time your raw, used throat constricted around him as he fucked into it. “Mmmgghh,” he groaned, pulling out of your mouth “Goooood girl,” he praised with a smirk, before bending down to give you a sloppy kiss, swapping mouthfuls of saliva. Just as he pulled away he let a long string of collected spit slip from his pursed lips and into your open mouth, where you eagerly accepted it, moaning as you swallowed it down. 

 You let out a breathy “awhhh” as you opened your mouth again, wiggling your tongue enticingly. 

“Such a dirty, fucking whore,” he bent down again and spat directly in your face. He smeared it all over your face with his hand before grabbing you by the neck, pulling you to your feet. “Turn around,” he ordered. You did as he said and Colson undid his belt from around your wrists. Before you even had a chance to soothe your sore wrists with a rub, Colson spun you around and pushed you down onto your back on the couch, your ass teetering on the edge of the red leather cushion. “Spread yourself for me,” he instructed, as he pumped himself. Again you did as you were told; you pulled your legs up, wrapping an arm around each thigh, holding them back as you parted your opening with your fingers.  “God, you’re so fucking wet.” He teased the head of his cock through the glistening mess on display for him. 

“Fuck me,” you said in an inpatient huff, staring into his eyes. 

“Awhhh, yessss,” he groaned out, slack jawed as he sank into you

“Ohhh, shit,” you screamed out , face twisted in pleasure, your eyes slipping shut, at the feeling of him burying himself deep in your cunt.

“Open your eyes. Look at me!” He spoke harshly, cupping your face in his hands as he thrust. You opened your eyes, trying to focus on his, but your vision was  spotted by the intensity of it all. “Feel good?” He pressed his forehead to yours just as he’d done earlier , starring directly into the windows to your soul as he fucked you. You nodded the best you could, but that wasn’t good enough for him. “Words, I want words. Say yes!”

“Yes.. yes,” you responded breathily, biting at your lip.

“Yeah, Mmmghhh, that’s it. Fuck, I like it when you use your words”  he moaned , shifting himself to be more upright. He then spit on the tips of his fingers and brought them to your clit and began rubbing it furiously, his cock still destroying you.

“OH Fuck!” You cried out, wiggling and bucking your hips. 

“You gonna fucking stay still? He roughly grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks. You nodded your head, trying your best to calm your body’s erratic, pleasure driven movements as he thrust. “Words!” He spat, his hand letting go of your face only to connect it to your cheek again with a quick, yet harsh slap.

“Shit! ...Yes!” You corrected yourself once again, Your body was  loving how aggressive he was getting the longer he fucked you and he could tell;  spitting at and striking your face again.

“Turn over!”  He ordered, abruptly pulling out. “Hands on the back of the couch.” He roughly assisted you in turning around , and you placed your hands where instructed. You arched your back and pushed your ass out waiting for him to re enter you from the new position. “This is where you really want it, huh?” He teased his cock over your asshole. 

“Yes!,” you remembered to use your words this time.

“You’re a dirty little fucking anal whore, aren’t you? He asked, he question sounding a lot more like a statement. “Let me hear you said it.” He applied pressure to your hole with the tip, as he yanked back a fist full of your hair.

“I’m a dirty little fucking anal whore!,” you repeated desperately pushing back against him.

“Mmmghh!, That you are!” He confirmed with a groan, snapping hips hips forward, quickly entering you. 

“Uhhhhh, Oh my God!” You exclaimed at the feeling. You never fully understood why you enjoyed anal as much as you did, perhaps it was the pleasurable fullness, the taboo aspect, the fact that you were one of the few woman who were into it, or the way so many men were obsessed with it , and the look on their face when they found out you were more than willing to take it up the ass, but you absolutely loved it, and this time was no different. Every jack hammered thrust brought you closer and closer to the edge, especially when Colson reached around to between your legs adding the friction of his fingers to your clit. The sensation of your ass being stuffed combined with his  touch was the perfect recipe for orgasm and you felt it building every time his cock slid in and out. 

“Yeah, cum for me,” he could feel you tightening around him. His words perfectly in sync with the  jolt of pleasure boiling over in your abdomen and ripping through you with vast intensity. A series of explitives and sounds you’ve never heard yourself make, flew from you lips as your body went boneless under Colson. He quickly pulled out, turned you back over and came across your face with a few pumps of his hand. He collapsed to the side of you briefly, before tugging you off the couch and onto your knees. “I’m not done with you just yet,” he spoke out of breath taking his softening dick in his hand. Your eyes lit up, you knew what he was referring too— the only thing on your list of wants he hadn’t included yet. “Say ahhh!”

“Ahhh,” you echoed the request, letting his golden stream fill your mouth, splash off your tongue and dribble down your chin and body. You giggled, piss spilling from your smile as you looked up at him, all your fantasies now fulfilled. 

“Annnd cut!” Called the director. A few stage hands scrambled to bring you both a towel and small refreshments. “Almost done, just gonna get you guys a little cleaned up, rehydrated, let you catch your breath a bit, and then film the little quick, post scene interview. 

“Ok,” you both answered.

Colson tossed his towel over his shoulders and reached out his hand to you “You, good?” He asked with a faint laugh , watching your hand shake as you drank your water.

“Yeah,” you answered letting him pull you up onto the couch. 

“You were amazing,” he said, rubbing your back. He knew the come down from the adrenal rush of scenes could be taxing, especially from rough ones . “You —“

“Ready,” the director interrupted, cutting him short, and immediately pressing record. “So how was it?” the director focused the camera on you first. 

“Oh my god.. mind blowing,” you answered , still out of breath, adjusting your towel. 

“And you?” The director turned the camera to Colson.

“ Absolutely amazing. She was a natural. I’d love to work with her again.”

[peachbear88]

Lights

A/N: Inspired by "Lights" by Elijah Woods. Highschool AU :)

Y/BF/N = Your best friend's name

------------

"Y/N, we got an order for 2 original burgers and small fries." Wanda, your coworker calls. You grunt, flipping the beef patties on the grill swiftly before dishing them out onto buns with lettuce, tomato and cheese on them. You proceed to whirl around, lifting the fry cage up and out of the deep fryer, dumping them in a fry carton. Leaning through the small window between the kitchen and the restaurant front, you slide the meal through, winking at Wanda, who picks the meal up, blushing.

"Y/L/N! You better not be flirting back there!" Your best friend roars, leaving your face burning along with Wanda who's giggling.

"Shut up!" You shout back, attempting to hide the blush creeping up your neck.

-------------

After a long, gruelling 5 hours of your minimum wage, part time job, the three of you drag yourself out of the fast-food restaurant and into your beat up pickup truck, piling into it.

"Alright, Y/BF/N, we're dropping you off first, then I'll drop you off Wanda." You explain, starting the engine as Wanda gives you a quick peck on the cheek. Y/BF/N wolf-whistles and you glare, pressing a quick possessive kiss to Wanda's lips before pulling out of the restaurant's parking lot.

------------

"Alright babe, this is your stop." You exclaim, putting your truck in park. Wanda looks at you longingly, clutching your hand tightly. You sigh, running your hand through her hair gently. "How about I walk you to the door?" She instantly perks up, her large green eyes staring back at you. You smile and the two of you exit the truck, her backpack slung over your shoulder. She clings to you, making the two of you take your time to cross the street. When you finally arrive, Wanda pulls you around, a pout on her face. You caress her defined features, pulling her chin up a little to give her a small kiss. She whines when you pull away but you take a deep breath, steeling your nerves and knock on the door. It swings open to reveal the scowling face of Ireyna, Wanda's mother. She never liked you. The moment you started dating Wanda, she raised her defenses. Quickly ushering Wanda into the house, she snatches the backpack viciously from your outstretched hand.

"You need to stay away from my daughter. She's an angel and you, you vermin are not a saint. She could do so much better then the likes of you and yet for some unknown reason, she chooses you. I'm warning you, stay awa-." She's interrupted as Wanda tugs on her arm gently.

"Mama!" She gives her mother a sharp glance and Ireyna backs down, shooting you one last glare before slamming the door in your face. You sigh, running your hands through your hair before trudging back to your pickup truck.

------------

You arrive at your dingy apartment, flopping onto the couch before yanking out your phone. Messages from Wanda flood in and you smile to yourself. Your girlfriend of 6 years kept profusely apologizing for her mother's behaviour but your brushed it off, reassuring her everything was fine. After a good hour of texting her, you scrolled through your contacts, stopping at your best friend's name.

"What do you want?"

"I need your help tomorrow.

------------

"Seriously?" Your friend stared at the jewellry before eyeing you unbelievingly. "Your broke ass wants to buy her a ring?" You smack them before returning your attention to the multiple glass cases.

"What do you think about this one?" You ask. They peer over your shoulder at the silver band in your hand. It's thin, with small green gemstones embedded in it. "It's perfect. It'll bring out her eyes." You decide, not bothering to wait for your friend's opinion. They roll their eyes, following you to the register.

"So you're seriously going to propose? Tell me the real reason why." They pester you as you pull your wallet out, handing the ring to the man behind the cashier. "It's because of her mom isn't it." You freeze.

"Okay, I won't deny, I do want to impress her mom but it's been 6 years. I want to give her what she deserves." You explain as the man extends his hand for the payment.

"That'll be $1,800." You choke, whirling back around to him. Quickly, you scan through your wallet, finding only a few $20 bills. "Loan me?" You plead your best friend but they empty their pockets to show they have nothing.

"Y/N. We work minimum wage and we're practically broke. We can't afford it." Y/BF/N explains and you sigh.

"Sorry for the inconvenience sir. Guess we can't afford it." You bid goodbye to the man, who gives you a small smile as the two of you exit the store. An idea forms in your head and you turn to your friend. "Hold on. What if I get Wanda to move in with me and I work extra to get the ring?" Your friend opens their mouth to oppose but you don't let them finish, running at top speed towards your truck, dialling Wanda's number.

"Y/N?" Wanda's voice comes through the line, slightly tired.

"Want to move in with me?"

------------

Wanda's smile is huge as she walks into your apartment, bag slung over her shoulder. You wrap your arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Thank you for doing this. I know you're risking a lot." You whisper and she runs her fingers through your hair, calming you.

"I will do anything for you lyubov'." She reassures before making her way through the unit, exploring. "So where's the bedroom?" You chuckle sheepishly, rubbing your neck.

"About that... I don't have a bed." She whirls around, looking at you with concerned eyes.

"So where have you been sleeping?"

"Air mattress in the living room." You sigh, dropping your head into your hands. "Maybe your mom was right. I'm not good enough for you." You feel a pair of warm hands pull your own down from your face.

"Don't say that. We'll work through anything and everything together. One step at a time." She murmurs and you sigh, kissing her forehead.

"You're amazing."

------------

You were sitting on the couch, phone in hand as you scroll through your social media. A light snore came from beside you and you look down at the air mattress to see Wanda, book laying on her chest, her head lolled to the side, asleep. You smile, slowly lowering yourself onto the mattress, removing the book from her grasp and wrapping your arms around her.

"I love you."

------------

"Thank you so much for watching after my kids." You give her a small, tired smile. You'd recently taken up a babysitting gig to help achieve your goal of buying the ring.

"It's no problem ma'am. Just doing my job." She smiles at you before slapping a hundred bill in your hand. You stare at it before making futile attempts to shove it back into her hand.

"No! Keep it. You have no idea how much of a lifesaver you are." You thank her profusely before rushing out the house and zipping towards the ring shop. You were greeted by the friendly man from before who had kept the ring on hold for you. Finally. Finally you could show Wanda exactly how much she meant to you. You thanked the man, hopping into your truck and zooming back to the apartment complex, your speedometer never dipping below 50mph. Honestly, it was a miracle you weren't arrested.

------------

"I'm home Wanda!" You cried excitedly but were met with silence. A dark figure sat on the couch. You approached her slowly and cautiously. "Wanda?" A small sob escapes from her. You surge forwards, wrapping your arms around her small body. "What's wrong? Babe, look at me." She glares at you and shoves her phone towards you.

"Are you cheating on me?" You stare blankly at her, before looking at the photo. A photo of you outside the babysitting woman's house.

"You followed me?" You ask, your heart cracking at the distrust of your girlfriend.

"With good reason! You're never around anymore! You're always off doing something else and you won't tell me what." She yells, standing up while tears pour down her face. "I guess my mom really was right. You aren't to be trusted." She grabs her pre-packed bag, brushing past you.

"Wanda wait! Please! I'm not cheating on you. There's a reason why I'm not around anymore." You explain desperately and she stops.

"Why?" You sigh inwardly.

"I can't tell you. It'd ruin the surprise." Wanda snorts, opening the front door.

"I hope it was worth losing me then." She slams the door and you flinch, hitting your forehead.

"Stupid, stupid stupid."

-----------

You knock tentatively on the door of Wanda's house, praying that she would answer. Unluckily, her mother answers, glaring at you.

"Hi Mrs. Maximoff, is Wanda home?" She glares at you, slapping you. Your hand flies up to your face where she slapped you.

"No. I'm done with this. You've hurt my daughter once, I'll be damned if I let you do it again. If I ever so much as see you, I'll rip your arms off and shove them up your ass!" She yells. You hold your ground, proffering the bouquet of roses to her, ring box and letter hidden deep inside of it.

"Okay. Just please, I'm begging you, give her this and I'll never bother you or your family again." You plead. Her menacing demeanor falters as she grabs the flowers. "Thank you." With that final note, you stalk back out into the rain, letting it consume you.

------------

"Wanda honey? This came for you." Ireyna places the bouquet gently on Wanda's bed before closing the door behind her. Tentatively, Wanda prowls through the bouquet, pulling the letter and the ring box out. She pries the letter open, reading your words.

Wanda,

I know you probably hate me and never want to see me again but I feel that I must clarify what happened. That woman was offering me a job. A babysitting job to be exact. The reason I was taking extra jobs and not spending as much time with you was because I wanted to purchase something. Something for you. To show exactly how much you mean to me. I don't expect you to forgive me because I now know how much I hurt you. I was so blinded by the idea of an object that I neglected the real thing in front of me. I want you to have this as a token of my love.

The girl from your local fast food restaurant,

Y/N

She opens the black ring box, tears threatening to spill from her emerald green eyes. Inside, the silver band, embedded with green gemstones sits peacefully. The tears fall as she slips it onto her finger, almost subconsciously knowing that she will never see you again.

"I love you too."

-------------

Oof. Angst. Yikes. I told you @peabrain112. I told you.

Taglist: @username23345 @musicinourlips @gingerbreadcookieforlife @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @trikuismybitch @ima-gi--na-tion @nicole-rayleigh-hot

[weelittleweasley]

Friendly Game | Draco x Reader

Prompt requested by anon: You and Draco were both stars on the Slytherin quidditch team, but after getting too aggressive in a game, you find yourself taking a nasty blow, causing Draco to get a little too overprotective.

Warnings: Reader getting injured, fluff

Word Count: 2.1k (short and sweet)

Standing in the tunnel to the field, you can hear the crowd cheering and chanting, your adrenaline pumping as you fiddle with your broom in your hands. You just wanted to get out there and start the match against Gryffindor. This match was something you’ve been looking forward to for weeks. “Awfully fidgety today, aren’t we, darling?” your boyfriend says, standing next to you. You roll your eyes at Draco before he gives your hand a squeeze, placing a kiss to your knuckles through the glove. “No need to be anxious. You’ll be brilliant.”

Smiling sweetly at Draco, you lean over, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before you hear Lee Jordan call out your team’s name, the Slytherin section going absolutely mad. The tunnel opens and all of you run out, yelling, before hoping on your brooms and taking to the skies. Playing quidditch was the one time you felt like you were truly free at this school. You could zip around, flying as fast as you wanted, not to mention, you could “accidentally” knock into a few Gryffindors and get away with it. 

Today’s game was big or at least it was big to Draco which made it big to you. Everyone knew about Draco’s vendetta against Harry Potter which meant that you had a vendetta against him. Draco knew that the competition between him and Potter was always on, but heightened on the field.

As you looked over to Draco, he glared at Potter who glared back just as intensely as him. You smiled at the sight, your heart racing, waiting for Madam Hooch to start the game. Shortly after that, the game starts with a roar, everyone zipping along the field, you focused on getting into an open spot on the field to making a successful pass to another Chaser on your team.

The match was not an easy one. Gryffindor players were very skilled and played a fair game. But that didn’t mean that Slytherin had to. Over the years, you learned a few tips and tricks from Crabbe and Goyle about a few moves you could pull during the match that wouldn’t be considered a foul. 

During the game, you watched as Ginny Weasley started approaching the Slytherin end of the field, approaching the rings. You glance over to Zabini, who nods, having the same idea as you. The two of you start to zip over to the Weasley girl, narrowing in on her from either side. Ginny looks at the both of you, anxiety settling in, trying to escape from what she knows is inevitable. You laugh menacingly before you and Blaise physically knock into her from either side, forcing the Quaffle out of her grasp, body blowing her . As it falls to the ground, Ginny groans, almost being knocked off of her broom. 

Ron Weasley yells from his keeper position, “What the bloody hell was that all about?” You just give him a look and shrug before noticing Harry who just watched the scene that unfolded before his eyes. Ron looks at Harry who looks at Ginny, who struggles to regain her balance on her broom. Harry then abandons trying to capture the golden snitch and zooms to Ginny, making sure that she’s alright.

You don’t waste any time, fleeing the scene cause the longer you stay, the more guilty you look. You continue along with Zabini, checking other Chasers, twirling to avoid Bludgers. The game was not dying down in intensity, instead only rising with each passing moment. Players were getting more and more aggressive, treading a fine line between basic fouls and trick moves. Bludgers were zooming, past people, hitting others, attempting to knock others off their brooms, players skillfully dodging them. Things were going so quick, you couldn’t keep up, slightly overwhelmed. 

As you fly in formation behind Zabini and next to Crabbe, you keep your head low, hands firmly gripping your broom. Merlin, Malfoy, can’t you capture the snitch already so we can end the bloody game? you think to yourself. Too enthralled with your thoughts, you don’t even notice the Bludger that is hurling towards you at maximum speed that an opposing player had hit towards you. 

“(Y/L/N)! Watch out!” you hear a voice yell. You turn toward the Bludger, it hitting you right in the ribs, knocking you off your boom as the wind gets knocked out of you. Everyone stops where there are on the field as they watch you take the nasty blow, dropping off of your broom at least 4 meters from the ground. The crowd gasps as you hit the ground, crying out in pain. You curl up into a ball, grabbing your ribs in pain. If the Bludger didn’t break a rib, the fall definitely did. 

Madam Hooch blows her whistle, bringing the game to a halt. Meanwhile, Draco and Harry stopped where they were, chasing the snitch, hearing the whistle. “What’s going on?” Harry looked below him, seeing a green robed quidditch player on the field, laying on the ground with Hooch and other hovering over the player. “It’s one of yours,” Potter sneers.

Draco gives him a look before squinting to see who exactly it was who got themselves injured, disturbing the game. His eyes quickly recognize your figure and his heart drops, fear setting in. “No, no, no,” Draco says before zooming down to the field instantly, flying at the speed of light. Within in seconds, Draco is off his broom and on his knees next to you. “Darling, are you alright?” he holds one of your hands, the other brushing your hair as he inspects your face, scanning for any blood or bruises that stick out to him. He then notices your face contort in pain as you clutch onto your left side, you shaking from the pain rippling in your rib cage. His worry grows as he sees you writhe in pain. His worry then turns into sheer anger when he knows this was a Gryffindor doing. Draco rises from the ground and demands, “Which one of you blokes did it?”

Other Gryffindors turn away, leaving Jimmy Peakes standing there, gulping in fear about what the Slytherin was going to do to him since he was the one who delivered the blow to his girlfriend. “I didn’t mean it, Malfoy, I swear, I’m sorry. We were having a friendly game,” Peakes tries to reason with the blonde haired boy who has steam coming from his ears.

Malfoy stomps over to Peakes, grabbing him by the collar. “Friendly game?! I don’t think so. And it’s too late for excuses, you bloody twat. She’s hurt still, isn’t she? You think an apology is gonna mend a broken rib?” he spits in the Gryffindor’s face. “Since you broke her rib, that means I get to break you.”

Before Draco can even raise his fist, Madam Hooch stops him. “Oi! The last thing we need are more unnecessary injuries on the field,” she demands as Draco lets Peakes’ collar go, giving him a great shove before Draco returns to your side on the ground. “(Y/N), we’re gonna get you to Madam Pomfrey right away,” Madam Hooch tells you as you nod your head, in far too much pain to speak anything other than groan in pain or suck in a sharp breath which only causes more pain to erupt from your ribs.

You look next to you as Draco offers you a sorry smile, brushing you hair as Madam Pomfrey tells the teams playing that the match will have to continue at another time. The crowd boos in disappointment. The pain in your side is so overwhelming that you see your vision becoming spotty. “Dray,” you manage you speak as he nods, attentively listening to you, ready to get you anything you needed. Before you can talk to your boyfriend, your eyes feel heavy and the sounds around you begin to die down. You can feel yourself actively losing consciousness from the pain, slowly letting your eyes fall shut.

This only makes Draco go into a full panic. He looks around at his teammates watching you lay there. “Well, don’t just stand there, you stupid blokes! Get her a medic!” he yells before turning his attention back towards you, giving you hand a little squeeze. “You’ll be alright, darling. I promise.”

------

Slowly peeling your eyes open, you rub them to focus them, taking in the change of environment. You’re in a bed in the hospital wing, white sheets covering you and your entire chest is wrapped in beige colored gauze. You turn to your right and see Draco sitting on a stool next to your bed, making you lightly smile. Of course, he was next to you the entire time, making sure you were safe and sound. You attempt to sit up straight which only disturbs the pain again, waves shooting up your left side. You wince as Draco jumps to his feet, helping you sit up gently making sure that you don’t shift anything out of place. “Easy there, tiger,” he speaks, a teasing smile dancing across his lips. “There we go.” You peel the covers off your top half as Draco drapes a Slytherin jumper over your shoulders, making sure that you were staying warm. “Madam Pomfrey took good care of you. But she said that you’ll be out of playing for the next two to three weeks,” Draco informs you, making you groan. “You need time to proper the heal.”

“Brilliant,” you groan. “We would have won today if it weren’t for bloody Peakes,” you complain, pulling the Slytherin sweater around you tighter. A small smirk plays on Draco’s lips as he looks at you. “Oh, no. What did you do to the bloke?” you ask him to ‘fess up.

Draco raises his arms in defense. “Nothing,” he tells you as you give him a look knowing that Draco didn’t let the kid walk free after what happened. “Maybe a bloody nose. Maybe it broke in the process of me punching him...” he trails off as you slap his shoulder lightly. “What? That was generous of me. If I had it my way, he would be sat in the bed next to you.”

You shake your head. “You can’t get into fights over me, love. It’s sweet, but I can defend myself. Besides, if Madam Hooch finds out about your alteration with Peakes, you could face suspension from the team,” you tell him, reaching out to stroke his cheek with your hand as he leans into it, kissing the palm gently as if to not hurt your fragile state. 

He sighs, “No, I won’t get suspended. But I did get a month of detention.” Your gentle smile drops into a knowing look and you let out an exasperated sigh. “It was well worth it though.”

No matter what you told him, Draco was always protective over you. He knew well enough you could protect yourself and fight your own battles, but he liked avenging you. He like the power trip he would get when he would put someone in their place after messing with you. You showed more mercy than Draco did, of course, but after Draco had his way with the person, they never seemed to bother you again. It was an odd way of expressing his love, but it was sweet to you nonetheless. Although the situation at hand was crummy, at least you knew Draco had your back and would be the first person to jump to your defense. 

Scooting over in the hospital bed, you pat the space next to you as Draco smiles like a child on Christmas morning. He climbs in next to you, careful not to touch your sides in fear that you would shriek in pain. You laid your head on his chest, draping your arm over his torso. He rested his head on top of yours, carefully wrapping his free arm around you, drawing small circles on your back. You took a steady breath in, inhaling his perfume, the scent immediately washing over you, calming you. Draco pressed gentle kisses to your head, allowing himself to relax into the bed, knowing you were safe at his side. He would stay here as long as you wanted him to, not bothering to go back to his dormitory where his friends waited for him. He would stay right here by your side in case you needed absolutely anything. 

“You know that I would do absolutely anything for you,” he says as a statement rather than a question. “I would run to the ends of the world if you asked me to.”

Lightly laughing, you look up at him. “I know you would,” you assure him. “And I would do the same for you.” He smiled down at you, kissing the tip of your nose. You cuddled back into his chest, knowing that in this moment this was the safest you have ever felt.

[dinosaurtsukki]

❀ runaway | “you said it would be the two of us against the world” feat. kageyama tobio

⇢ day 8 of angstcember

⇢ synopsis: you and kageyama had always dreamt of leaving town and starting a new life somewhere else with just the two of you

⇢ pairing: kageyama tobio x gn!reader

⇢ word count: 2k words

ANGSTCEMBER MASTERLIST (feat. haikyuu!! and bungou stray dogs)

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“let’s run away.”

you and kageyama always said those words to each other when you were alone; always infused with meaning and yet, lacking just a bit of intention. the two of you were just kids in high school, after all, what did you know about actually running away? except now, when you raised your head to find your boyfriend staring out at the sky in the dim light coming from the lamppost overhead, you could tell that this time, he was more than serious.

“let’s run away,” he repeated, this time turning to look at you.

“tobio, how?” you shook your head. “and not just how, where?”

“anywhere,” kageyama blinked, hugging his knees tighter to his chest. he was only comfortable being vulnerable around you, after guarding himself for so long. you were just the same. maybe that’s why fate somehow drew you both together. “anywhere’s better than here,” he whispered, a hand reaching out to touch the side of your cheek where a fresh bruise had bloomed, courtesy of your father.

you looked down. he was right, anywhere was better than here. in this town, with the kind of life you had, you grew up too fast and came to realize that all you ever wanted to do was leave this place. even if it meant risking everything.

“we’ll take this car,” kageyama continued, tapping a hand on the back of the pickup truck that you two were in. “and i have some friends already in the city. remember sugawara-senpai? i still talk to him. he said he could lend us a hand. and you have that biscuit tin full of money you have stashed under your bed, right?”

“it’s not an enormous amount of money...” you said hesitantly.

“it doesn’t have to be,” kageyama said, his voice rising with excitement. “i could probably get some of my mom’s leftover jewelry, but when we get there we can both find a job. i’m already being scouted by pro-volleyball teams and i’m sure you can start work at a cafe even though you don’t have much experience.”

“tobio...”

“y/n,” kageyama held your hand, his eyes fixed on yours. you knew you wouldn’t meet a man as sincere as he was. suddenly, his gaze softened as he pressed his lips against your forehead. “i don’t want to see you getting hurt anymore. i promised you i would protect you so let me do that.”

you closed your eyes and pulled him close to you, never wanting to let go. after everything you two had been through, you knew that kageyama was someone you could trust.

“alright,” you nodded. “let’s run away.”

...

nothing could match the exhilaration you felt as you and kageyama took the pick-up truck and your belongings and left town. once night fell, you managed to sneak out of your bedroom window to where your boyfriend was already waiting down below. this was it. you two were actually going to do it.

the wind from the open window whipped through your hair as the music in the car stereo played loud through the night. as soon as you zoomed past the highway, it felt as if a weight had been lifted off your chest. 

“tobio,” you suddenly spoke up.

“yeah?” kageyama turned his head slightly to look at you.

“we can do anything,” you said with a laugh. “we can do anything.”

kageyama looked at you as if you were his whole world, and back then, at that moment, you were. “i love you, y/n,”he said aloud, not even bothering to hide his emotions like you usually did.

and he was glad he didn’t because nothing could replace the shine in your eyes when you heard it. “i love you too, tobio,” you smiled.

...

you knew it was going to be hard when you and kageyama decided to live on your own after you had just left high school. for a while, the two of you had to live in sugawara’s place while you worked as a waitress in a nearby cafe. kageyama had some trouble getting scouted because he ran away from his family. 

the exhilaration you had felt the first night after running away had begun to fade as you were faced with the reality of things. the money you earned, even after working for long hours, was just enough to pay for your share of the rent and some groceries. but you hated your job and knew you were being underpaid but what could you do? it’s not like you had any real work experience or a university degree.

“sorry i’m late,” you heard kageyama apologize as he entered the living room. he also had to get a part-time job lifting cargo at a shipping company and most nights, he came home late and tired.

“it’s alright. want me to heat this for you?” you asked, pointing at his dinner on the table.

“it’s fine,” he shook his head and sat down next to you. 

“so, how was work?”

“same as always. you don’t even need to ask me anymore.”

“i’m just doing it to be nice,” you answered coldly. 

“tch, you just want to feel good about yourself,” kageyama muttered. you glared at him. for the past few weeks, things between you have been tense but you couldn’t do much about it with both of you tired from work. 

“i just want to feel good about something!” you found yourself raising your voice. “things have been terrible ever since we moved out and i know it wasn’t going to be easy but it’s nothing compared to what we’re going through right now. we barely even see each other and when we do it’s just even more of this!”

“so what do you want me to do?!” kageyama yelled in retaliation, standing up to tower over you. “i didn’t promise that things would be easy. you’re the one who wanted to come!”

“you asked me to come with you!” you pointed your finger at his chest. “you wouldn’t have made it this far without me!”

“i would have!” kageyama swatted your hand away. “and if you hate it here so much then why don’t you leave?”

you blinked in surprise as if you had been slapped across the face. you wanted to cry but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it in front of him. instead, you stood up and left the table.

“maybe i will then,” you said softly before leaving the apartment. 

kageyama found you moments later curled up on the back of the pick-up truck. your eyes were raw from crying and your face was buried in your arms but you felt kageyama hop into the back next to you.

“y/n...” he spoke, his voice much softer than it was earlier. “i’m... sorry about what i said. i... i didn’t mean it.”

“it sounded like you did,” you said hollowly. 

“i’m sorry,” kageyama repeated. the two of you were silent for a while before you decided to sit up and lean against the side of the car beside him.

“remember that night? when you suggested that we run away?” 

“how could i forget?” kageyama chuckled beside you. “you called me from a payphone crying after you had run away from your house.”

“and then you picked me up from where i was,” you added with a smile, leaning your head on his shoulder. “you’re the only one who’s ever felt like home to me.”

“i just... wish that could be enough, even though i know it isn’t,” kageyama said softly, holding your hand and interlacing his fingers with yours. “i didn’t think things would be this hard when we came here but y/n, i still want to make things better for you. for us.”

kageyama wasn’t promising anything and you both knew he couldn’t, not at this point. but that was enough to make you believe in him. he wasn’t going to sugarcoat anything or make empty promises, but he was going to stay with you.

“i believe you, tobio,” you smiled, pressing your forehead against his. 

“so, will you stay?” he looked up at you as if you were his whole world, and back then, you were.

“i will. i’ll stay.”

...

slowly but surely, things changed for the two of you. kageyama finally managed to get scouted at a pro-volleyball team without the help of his family and you two were able to get your own place. you took classes at a local community college in-between your job as a waitress. it had been your dream for some time to set up your own cafe and after years of waiting and saving up, you were able to rent out a small, cozy place to start your dream.

for the first time since the day you and kageyama ran away, you felt that same exhilaration of new possibilities being open to you and you were eager to make that leap.

but, things also changed in other ways.

you and kageyama still didn’t see each other that much with you being busy setting up your cafe and volleyball practice in between ad campaigns. but this time, it wasn’t something you minded too much. back in the town where you grew up in, you didn’t have much of a support system with your abusive family. it had always just been kageyama having your back, and you his. now, you had friends, your fellow co-workers at the cafe, and new acquaintances coming and going every single day.

sometimes, you did stay up to greet kageyama when he got home with dinner and one of the desserts you made at the cafe. the two of you would migrate to the couch, recounting old memories or sharing new stories. the atmosphere in your house was a comfortable one, but you couldn’t say that being with kageyama made you happy the way you used to.

realizing that did hurt. you couldn’t help but remember all the times you had cried in his arms or the first time you watched his walls break down and swore you would do anything for him. kageyama had been your home for the longest time. only now, you didn’t need one. you could make one for yourself.

“so, after all these years, huh?” kageyama said after you broke the news to him. the two of you were seated at the dining table with cups of half-finished coffee between you two.

“i feel like i should apologize but it had been coming for some time,” you admitted. “we both knew.” 

kageyama sipped from his mug and nodded contemplatively. he didn’t appear to be sad or angry or hurt. finally, he spoke. “you said it would be the two of us against the world.”

you bit your lip and nodded. “i did say that.”

“but we were dumb kids back then,” kageyama chuckled. “dumb kids who didn’t know what was in store for them.”

“hey, we deserve more credit than that,” you nudged his side and flashed him a smile. “if it weren’t for what we planned, if it weren’t for you, i don’t think i would have made it this far.” the expression on kageyama’s face was sad but he reached out and squeezed your hand. “no matter what, i’ll always be grateful to you for that, tobio.”

“and i’ll always remember the first person i’ve ever loved,” he said softly. when he looked at you, it was no longer as if he was looking at his whole world. but that’s alright. kageyama already had his own world and just because you were parting ways, that didn’t mean you had ceased to be in it.

a week later, you had moved out of the apartment after buying a place of your own. it was going to be lonely now without kageyama there to share it with but you didn’t mind too much. 

as you walked through the parking lot, you passed by the very pick-up truck that you and kageyama spent so much time in. longingly, you ran a hand over the bumper, remembering that night when you two promised to run away.

smiling, you spoke out loud as if you were talking to your younger selves: “we made it.”

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event taglist: @himikadafangirl @swoona-rintarou @l-dokisaki-l @laure-chan @aonenthusiast @ah-kaashi @just-a-gay-bean @linyu-sees-you @alto-march-of-death @newfriendjen @shrimpypenis​ @tenyafacesquish​ @mkkhaikyuu​

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[jpegjade]

The Proposal - Spencer

Request: omg I’m so happy I found your blog!! 🤩 Can you write a fic about spence proposing to the reader? maybe in front of the team? thanks!!

Warnings: if you hate fluff, this one isn’t for you. Like hardcore fluff. Like so fluffy that you can’t help but feel bad for a second. So fluffy... You get the point, I’m sure. 

_____________

“Spencer, do we really have to go to Rossi’s party tonight? I wanted to maybe watch a movie, cuddle, cover you in kisses. I just wanted to do something cute with you. Alone.” You said in the passenger seat of the car. 

You held your boyfriend’s hand while he drove with his other hand. 

“I promise that we don’t have to stay long.” He said, smiling. 

He had been quiet for the past couple days. It was strange, really. He rarely blurted out facts, he had been extra loving, which you didn’t mind, but he had also been a little more secretive. Hiding his phone, going places without telling you, even taking calls in other rooms. You knew his job required secrecy sometimes but damn, you wanted your boyfriend back to normal. 

“You’re not cheating on me, right?” You asked him, chuckling. You knew he wouldn’t dream of anyone else the way your name fell out of his mouth when he was sleeping. 

“Yes, with Morgan. I’m so glad to get that off my chest.” He said, eyes on the road. 

“Did my boyfriend just make a joke?” You said, feigning shock. 

The rest of the ride was peaceful, the sun hanging low in the sky. You loved having an excuse to wear your sunglasses outside since you didn’t get out much anymore. There was no point wearing sunglasses inside so you put them on for selfies on the porch. 

Pulling up to the driveway, you heaved a big, sarcastic sigh, dropping your head onto Spencer’s shoulder the second he put the car in park. 

“Only a little while, right?” You asked, looking up at him. 

“Only a little while.” He confirmed. 

Over an hour later, you were still there and hoping you would leave soon. You loved Spencer and loved seeing him around his team, his family, but you were tired. You had a couple different phone calls and zoom meetings during the day and you were drained. 

One good thing that came from it was you got to stare at Aaron Hotchner all night. If Spencer was your number one, Hotch was your eye candy. He was growing out his stubble from being on an apparent forced vacation and you were in heaven. You told Spencer about your admiration of Hotch before and Spencer went on a nervous tangent about how infatuation lasts for 180 days while the feelings of love lasted much longer. Considering you had loved Spencer for 2 whole years before you even started dating, you were more than secure with your relationship. You didn’t really have a thing for Hotch. You just liked to mess with Spencer about it because there was this one night where you had a dream and it was weird to say the least. 

You forced out some laughter because someone said something genuinely funny but you were too tired to really say anything. Between Rossi’s amazing cooking and all of the socializing, you needed a break. As soon as you sat down on the couch, Spencer popped up to sit down next to you. 

“Hey, do you want to go outside? On the patio to get some air?” Spencer asked, looking at you as though he felt guilty. He knew you were tired but he just needed a little more time. 

“Okay.” You said, letting him pull you up and put his arm around your waist as you put your head on his shoulder. 

The laughter was silenced as Spencer closed the door. You sat down on the swing chair, facing the sunset. It was pretty low in the sky and you noticed something weird about Rossi’s backyard. There were string lights hanging up everywhere, slowly becoming brighter as the sun set lower. It was chilly outside so Spencer stepped inside to grab a blanket. It took him some time to come back and you were getting so tired so you curled up and let yourself doze off. Just for a little while. 

Spencer was inside, pacing. His hands tapping on his leg while he practiced his speech. He practiced it on Penelope, JJ, even Morgan after he ran it by Hotch a couple times. He had to get this right. For once, he allowed himself some wine to help him calm his nerves. Once he grabbed the blanket, he looked outside to see you on the patio, you were curled up, hands under your head, sleeping lightly. 

“Ready, pretty boy?” Morgan asked Spencer one last time. 

“What if she says no?” Spencer said in a quiet voice. He looked down at his converse, noticing how scuffed they were. He should’ve gotten some new ones. This was a special occasion, why didn’t he think of that? 

He flipped open the box one more time. The ring was simple, half a karat. He knew it was perfect because it wasn’t extravagant, it was easy to look at and nothing flashy. It was understated and mesmerizing, like you. 

“Have you talked to her about getting married before? Have you tried to think about living without her? If you can see yourself living without her then don’t do it. But I know she’s crazy about you. She texts me when you don’t answer your phone because she’s scared something happened. She has made an effort to connect with all of us, get to know your family. She visits your mom with you, although it can be painful for her because of her own family issues. She can’t see herself without you. Do you feel the same?” Morgan said, hand on Spencer’s shoulder. 

“I can’t… I can’t see the world without her smile in it. I can’t see my world as brightly without her in it, if at all. And she wants a family, just like I do. She wants to move into a house, just like I so. She wants everything I do and more. She’s a dreamer and I’m a realist. We fit together and she understands me. She wants to hear me talk and she wants to grow old with me. She wants… Me.” Spencer caught himself smiling. 

“Then get out there and tell her that, not a rehearsed speech.” Hotch said, grinning. 

Spencer didn’t realize everyone was listening to him and Morgan’s conversation. JJ and Penelope were both shedding happy tears. Spencer breathed a deep breath before going back outside. 

You woke up when you felt Spencer lay the blanket over you. A grin spread across your face because that meant he was back from socializing and it was your turn to be with him. You sat up, letting him wrap the blanket around your shoulders. You extended your arm, opening the blanket so he could sit down but he remained on one knee. 

“Baby, what are you doing? Come on.” You said, rubbing your eyes. You didn’t care that your eyeliner was getting messed up. You just wanted to rest with Spencer before going home. 

“I can’t see the world without you.” Spencer said, continuing. “I know that we’ve talked about the idea of a family in the future but I also know that we’re not in a rush. We’ve been taking things slow and I like where we are but… I’ve been thinking. What if we were more? I want to be so much more than what we are now because I love you. You are my world, you are my life. You are everything to me and I want to show you that for the rest of my life.” 

“Baby, I love to hear you talk but I’m really tired and I know your knee is hurting because you’re the dumbass that is kneeling on your leg where you got shot.” You rubbed your eyes again. “Please tell me what you’re going to tell me.” 

“Y/n,” Spencer took a deep breath. “Will you marry me?” 

You paused, not sure he was serious. He pulled out the ring box from his pocket, opening it in front of you. The ring was beautiful but all you could do was look in his eyes. They were so pretty. 

“No, you asshole.” You said, chuckling. 

“What?” He looked heartbroken. He immediately snapped the ring box closed and stood up. You stood up, holding the blanket around your shoulders. 

“I said no. No. You know why?” You said, putting your hands in your pockets. 

“Why?” He said, his voice so quiet. 

“Because I wanted to propose first.” You had to dig around in your pocket a little bit but you finally found the ring you got from your grandmother. When your grandfather passed away last year, your grandmother gave you a ring that had been passed down for generations. The women in your family had a special way to get to the punch first. 

You got down on your knee and you heard squeals in the background. You leaned over to the side to see everyone staring at you through Rossi’s glass sliding door. You chuckled as you noticed there were tears streaming down your face. 

“You what?” Spencer’s knees went weak. It was his turn to sit in the swing chair. 

“Here, I wrote a speech and everything. It’s why I wanted to spend the night at home. I was going to hide it in the bottom of your sour patch kids bag. You’re such an asshole for getting to it first.” You said, sitting in the grass. Unlike Spencer, your knees were hurting and you weren’t sticking it out for shit. He can get the message while you sit on the patio, wrapped in the cozi blanket still because damn, it was cozy.

“I’m going to read my letter to you and then we’re going to swap rings and go inside and let everyone congratulate us.” You said, pulling the piece of paper out of your other pocket. 

“Spencer,” Your voice cracked. “Son of a bitch. Wait… That wasn’t in my speech although your father is a bigass bitch. I’ll get back to it. Spencer, I hate you. You have changed my life for the better. Before you, everything was so dark. There were times when I gave up on myself because I thought I deserved every bad thing that came to me. You were so sweet and so kind from the first time we met. I remember the first thing I said to you in the bookstore. ‘Hey cutie, you got a nice booty.’ Your ass does look amazing in your pants, not gonna lie. But we’ve come such a long way from there and I want to spend every day of the rest of my life loving you. I want to show you how much I appreciate everything you have done for me. I want to be there with you through the hard nightmares when all we do is cry together because the other is in pain. I want to be there in the victories when you come home and tell me the details you can about the case, when you successfully talked someone down. I want you to hold me when it’s good. I want to hold you when it’s bad. I want…” 

Spencer got down on the ground with you, gently knocking you off balance. You fell on the ground and he kissed you before you could even finish your sentence. 

“I want you too.” He said, sitting up. 

Sitting on the ground, the two of you exchanged rings. All you could do was cry together, your emotions running high.

____________

I am on a roll bc i am sad as fuck tonight. i’ll be writing for a while bc I don’t feel like sleeping. 

Tags: 

@winchestertardis

@ancailinaerach

[puckinghell]

11:11 | Carter Hart

Summary: Hockey players are a little superstitious, so wishing on shooting stars, rainbows and dropped penny’s isn’t a rare occurrence. Normally, they’re wishing for things like wins and awards and cups, but Carter has a little something else on his wishlist.  Words: 2,5k Note: based on the song 11:11 by Jae Jin which is the cutest songs I’ve ever heard. Note 2.0: This has been sitting in my concepts for over a year cause I just don’t love it but I like it too much to throw it away, so I finally decided to just post it and be done with it. Hope you guys like it anyway!

---

It’s a well known fact that hockey players are superstitious. 

It’s a better known fact that hockey goalies are stupidly superstitious. 

So far, Carter has been trying to break the stigma, and he’s pretty damn good at it, thank you very much. He doesn’t care if he puts on his left or right skate first, he doesn’t have to turn the shower on and off twice, there’s no pregame meal better than others. Winning games depends on how well he’s playing, not on setting his alarm at 4:32 when he takes his pregame nap.

Carter isn’t superstitious, but he is a little stitious - and he’s watched The Office way too many times, clearly. There’s just one thing he can be superstitious about. Only one thing. 

You.

---

You’ve been sitting on your porch, sketchbook in hand, drawing your neighbor’s dog. He’s big and black and at 11 years old, you’re not really sure if you’re supposed to be scared of him. He looks a bit scary, but he’s never done anything bad, and your parents don’t seem to mind him.

It’s hot outside. Too hot, really, to be outside your air conditioned living room, but your brothers are yelling inside and you just wanted some peace and quiet.

Some peace and quiet, and to stare at the boy next door. 

He’s a little older than you, a lot taller too, and he’s always intimidated you a bit. Sometimes he hangs out with your brothers, who are older too, but today he’s with some boys from around the neighborhood. 

They’re playing street hockey, like they usually are. You like watching them play; it’s such a fun game to watch, and you really wish you could try it, see if it’s fun to play too.

But your brothers always tell you to go away, and you’ve not had the guts to ask Carter. That’s the boy next door’s name; you heard it one time when his mom called him in for dinner. 

You’re focused on where the dog’s ears meet his head - on your paper it doesn’t quite look right - when something goes flying past your head.

“Duck!” you hear someone yell, but you’d already ducked in reflex. A plastic ball comes zooming past your ear, hits the wall behind you and bounces back; it rolls past your feet and ends up in front of somebody else’s.

“Are you okay?” the same voice asks, a little worried, and when you look up it’s Carter staring at you with wide eyes. “Did he hit you?” 

It takes a while for his words to synch into your brain, but then you shake your head. “No, he didn’t.”

Carter smiles, at that. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I’ve told Alex his aim is so bad he shouldn’t be allowed to play in public, but he didn’t believe me.” 

The other guy, Alex you presume, comes running over, his hockey stick still in his hands. “Shit, sorry,” he says, and you’re pretty sure you’re not allowed to say that word but you don’t mention it. 

“It’s okay,” you say instead. “You didn’t hit me.” 

“Maybe keep an eye on the clock,” says Carter to his friend. “If it’s 11:11, you can wish to actually hit the target, some time.” 

“If you catch 11:11 you can wish to actually make a save,” Alex shoots back.

“If I caught 11:11 I would wish for you to shut up,” Carter snaps back and that’s when you giggle.

Instantly, both the boys turn to you. Carter is grinning at you, a wide and happy grin that makes it impossible for you not to grin back. “What would you wish for, if you caught 11:11?” he asks.

You know the answer; it’s right there on the tip of your tongue and it tumbles out with thinking, words filled with earnest honesty like only those of a kid can be.

“I would wish that I could play hockey.” 

The boy in front of you smiles, yanks the hockey stick out of his friend’s hands and extends it in your direction.

“Come play,” he says. “It’s not like you could be any worse than Alex, anyway.” 

And under loud protest of Alex, a new friendship is born. 

---

Your 16th birthday party is crazy exactly the way 16th birthday parties are supposed to be, with beers snuck into the kitchen as your parents go away for the night, telling you again and again that you can always call them if you need them, even if you think they’ll be mad.

There’s loud music everywhere, and people; you don’t even know half of them, but your brothers promised you they’d make it a party to remember and they’ve kept their promise.

The thing is, well, you’re not the biggest fan of parties, actually. You thought it would be cool, would be like in the movies and you’d feel all grown up and cool, but instead you feel a bit lost, with the noise of the people too loud and their drunken dancing having you worried about your parents furniture.

You also found out you really don’t like beer. 

You get a Pepsi from the fridge, where some friend of your brother’s is mixing some of your dad’s rum into a bottle of Sprite - it doesn’t seem like a good match, but then again, you’ve never tasted rum - while your brother is eating cheese straight from the packet. 

It’s all a bit too much, too sudden, and you find yourself yearning for some peace and quiet, some familiarity.

You make your way to the back yard; it’s quiet, there, the October air a little too cold for your guests, and you sit down on the porch, wrapping your arms around your knees.

The music booms through the walls and you can still hear people screaming, but it sounds more muffled, and it allows you to breathe.

Almost immediately after you sit down, you hear the creak of the backdoor and footsteps against the wood of the porch, and then a familiar body sits next to you, smelling like foresty cologne and floral laundry detergent. 

“Hey,” Carter says softly, smiling at you when you gaze up at him. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, just needed some quiet.” You take a deep breath. “It’s a bit too much, I guess.” 

Carter is your best friend; has been, for years, and you would trust him with literally anything, so you don’t hesitate, telling him the truth. You don’t think there’s anything you’ve not told him the truth on.

Except when he asked you why you never said yes to the boys asking you out on dates.

First, you’d tried to dodge, told him you never got asked, but that didn’t work because James had asked and you’d shot him down, and James was on the hockey team with Carter so obviously Carter had found out.

When he confronted you with that, you just shrugged. 

“Just not into it, Cart.” 

Because they’re not you. I would say yes if it was you. But those are words only meant for your own ears, words your heart utters into the silent void because there’s no way your brain would even let you say them out loud, not when it could ruin the best friendship you have. 

“You know,” Carter says now, “maybe we see a shooting star. Then you could still make your birthday wish.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him. “What are you on about?” 

He laughs, lightly. “I saw you when you blew out your candles, on the cake, earlier. You were super quick with it, there’s no way you made a wish.” 

It earns him an eye roll, from you. 

“Maybe I didn’t wanna make a wish. Maybe there’s nothing I wish for.” 

“Everyone has something they wish for,” says Carter wisely. He bumps your shoulder and then frowns, suddenly. “Fuck, Y/N, you’re freezing.” 

You put your hands on your own arms, wrap your arms around yourself, to feel that indeed your skin is cold and there’s goosebumps on your arms. Before you can comment on it, Carter has taken off his hoodie and is tugging it - not so carefully - over your head.

“Auw,” you whine, “you’re pulling my hair.” 

He immediately stops, then very slowly pulls the fabric down the rest of the way. It’s worse, that way, makes it feel more intimidate than it is. 

“Well,” you say finally, “there’s no shooting stars, so I guess no wish for me, this year.” 

Carter sighs, sounding defeated, then glances at his watch and his whole face lights up. 

“It’s 11:10! You can make a wish at 11:11!”

You can’t help but giggle at his excitement. “Cart, that doesn’t even have anything to do with my birthday.” 

“No,” says Carter, talking slow, as if he’s explaining something to a toddler. “They’re more special. Everyone gets a birthday wish, because everyone has a birthday. Not everyone catches the 11:11, though. That’s the universe telling you it’s your turn for a little bit of luck.” 

It’s dumb, and you don’t believe it, but he says it so adorably convinced, that when he motions at his watch that it’s time, you close your eyes and make a wish.

It’s fine if the wish will never come true. As long as it makes the tall, slender boy next to you happy, the way he does you. 

---

Carter’s first year as a Flyer is stressful.

You get to watch it from up close cause you followed him to Philly; there was never really an option not to. You know, after years of searching for something else, someone else that makes you feel the way he does, that it’s a lost cause.

It’s him, for you. It’s always been him. 

You’re driving to his apartment, the night of what you knew has been a hard game. They lost, again. You know Carter will - wrongfully - blame himself, again. You know you’re gonna do whatever it takes to pick up the pieces, again, and probably fail, again. 

Maybe Carter’s stupid goalie superstition has rubbed off on you, but when you drive through a tunnel, you hold your breath until the end of it.

Let him be okay.

His front door creaks as you open it; he gave you a key as soon as he moved in, and you’ve been using it ever since. You don’t even think you know what his doorbell sounds like.

“Carter?” you call out. You know he’s not asleep; he never sleeps well, after losses. It takes him ages, tossing and turning in his sheets until he just gives up and sits on the balcony, staring at the stars.

He says it calms him down.

You’re pretty sure you know where to find him.

“Cart?” you mutter, opening the balcony door carefully, and indeed, there’s a human figure slumped over the railing, head down, hands tucked into the sleeves of his hoodie. At your voice, he looks up, and you’re struck with how tired he looks. 

Dark circles surround his bright eyes, which seem to light up the dark night as much as the city lights below you.

You go stand next to him, close enough for your shoulders to touch; warmth is still radiating off him, his cheeks are flushed. 

“I don’t get what you’re looking at, here,” you tell him, giving him time to decide whether or not he wants to talk about the game. You know he doesn’t do well when you push him. “You can’t even see the stars. The city lights are way too bright.” You crinkle your nose in disgust. “The stars were so much more beautiful back home.” 

“Do you miss home?” Carter asks.

You shrug. “Sometimes. Some things. You?” 

“I miss my family.” Carter pauses. “Not home, so much. I thought I would, but, the one part I thought I’d miss the most...” Another pause, then a tentative smile. “Well, she followed me here.” 

Your heart flutters at that and you have to remind yourself that he’s just in a mushy mood, probably trying to hide his emotions about the game. 

But you still wanna let him know you appreciate it, and you feel the same, so you lean closer, letting your head drop to his shoulder. Right away, his head is resting on top of yours.

“Can you wish on city lights?” you ask, just to fill the quiet night, and he chuckles.

“Probably not, but I don’t think I’ll need the stars to wish on. I make wishes when I hold my breath in tunnels, when I throw pennies in wells, when I blow out candles...” 

“There’s no wells around here,” you interrupt, and you feel Carter’s shoulders shake with muted laughter. It’s so much better than the sad expression he wore when you got here, and you feel the brick that’s settled in the pit of your stomach since you saw the score, slightly dissipate. 

“I think it’s probably around 11,” says Carter, then. “If we catch it, we can make another wish.” 

You know what you would wish for; the same thing you’ve been wishing for for 8 years. You also know you might as well be wishing for the sky to turn purple, so you’re not really too worried about catching 11:11.

“What do you wish for, anyway?” you ask him. He turns slightly, so he’s facing you now, and incredulous look on his face.

“You really don’t know?” he says. “It’s the same thing, every time.” 

“How would I know?” you huff. “You’ve never told me.” 

“Guess.” 

You don’t see the fun in this game but you’d do anything to see him smile, anything to keep his mind off the game, so you humor him.

“Stanley Cup.” 

“No.” 

“Vezina?” 

“Nope.” 

“World peace.” Carter seems like that guy.

“No, but I would, if I thought it was possible.” 

“A puppy.” 

He laughs. “No, but I should.” 

“I don’t know, Cart,” you tell him, smiling now. You expect him to say something silly, but a serious expression crosses his face, and then his hands come down and grab hold of your hips. He takes a step closer and your breath hitches in your throat.

“What...” are you doing, you start, but he interrupts you.

“When I wish on 11:11, I’m wishing for you.” 

His lips touch yours before you’ve processed the words, but as soon as you realize what’s happening, you hook your arms behind his neck, push up on your tiptoes to kiss him deeper. 

You try to put everything you have into that kiss; try to tell him, wordlessly, that you wanna grow old together, wanna be his person, want him to stay with you even when you’re scared, that you think he’s beautiful and magical and everything you could ever wish for. 

That every time you wish on shooting stars and ticking clocks, you’re wishing for him too.

“I think we might’ve missed 11:11,” is the first thing you say when you finally pull apart, breathing a little heavily, Carter’s cheeks tinted a little pink.

He breathes out a chuckle, rests his forehead against yours.

“That’s okay,” he says. 

“I’ve got all I’d wish for right here.” 

[thesquidgame]

Umbrella Academy Trailer Breakdown

Keep in mind that I wrote like 4 pages of this and then my computer deleted it by accident and I have now way to retrieve it, so this was originally much longer

The first two names that Five calls are Diego and Luther

Across the street there is a sign advertising Kiss Vampire

There is a 1963 movie called The Kiss of the Vampire that was released on september 11th 1963

It’s about a honeymooning couple who get drawn into a vampire cult

Fun

The soldiers appear to gun down one of their own men

Who is waving a red flag, which can stand for communism or socialism

The siblings look beaten and bruised when a nuke goes off

I don’t think that’s the end of the season though

I think it’s what Five sees that causes him to go further back and prevent it

The song playing is called “Here Comes the End” it’s a new song by Gerard fucking Way

The traditional netflix transition is turned into black and white

Five still looks freaked out

So I think Cha Cha pulled him back further in time

Cha Cha looks a lot older, so he’s probably been there for some time

It goes deeper into a store, then a sewing shop, then a bunch of cars outside of a house with police directing them

The record playing is Johann Sebastians Bach’s Chaconne

Chaconne is defined by the Oxford dictionary as: a composition in a series of varying sections in slow triple time, typically over a short repeated bass theme.

Which could weirdly enough describe the Hargreeves as well

Klaus has a cult, with a LOT of followers

As long as he doesn’t hurt them then I’m just glad he’s getting some love

His cult appears to be about him reassuring and comforting people who have lost loved ones

Allison appears to be in court, she’s sitting next to another man and woman, with a lot of white people who look pissed behind her

Luther is a boxer that I can’t tell if he’s hated or loved

Ben is so done with Klaus’ shit

Diego is in an asylum with Lila and I’m not happy

Vanya is in a car with a woman and a little kid

She has one hand on the steering wheel and the other at an angle that leads me to believe she has her hand on the woman’s knee

Five somehow rounded up the gang

Want to see what that was like

They are already SO done with Klaus’ cult it’s not even funny

Okay a little funny

Okay very funny

A minute in! (I already did this shit for an hour and a half and it was deleted so I’m so unenthusiastic but whatevs)

Diego has his hair cut and he’s in his outfit when they are going in to see the tv, and his outfit looks a little dirty so it’s probably a little later in the season

It looks like they are going to the place where Five was meant to assassinate the president

There are silhouettes of Five and Luther in the reflection

Diego is talking to Allison about how the whole thing revolves around the president’s assasination, and there’s a man in the background

Allison is holding the man from earliers hands while he’s in jail

Yay!

Her romantic subplot isn’t with her brother!

Five is looking at a zoomed-in image of a woman wearing a hijab or a scarf looking up at the sky in shock

Vanya is looking in fear at a tape with someone standing ominously in the background

It looks like at the beginning we think it’s nuclear bombs that destroy the earth (it’s probably something different in the end)

Diego is standing in some sort of control room

Five is sneaking through another room that looks to be in the same or a similar building

Another message or whatever for the three men that look like the musketeers grew up to be an Edward Scissorhands Scrooge

I wonder if the milkman’s milk is sour or if he just refills the milk with good milk every time he goes to murder somebody

The scorrges break into the asylum where DIego is at and starts shooting at him and Lila

They escape, because he’s Diego

Allison looks really beat up, by the “vacuum salesmen”

I know that line wasn’t meant to be funny, but it was really fucking funny

Halfway there… Again

Someone did a flip and-

HOLY FUCK

THe goldfish guy?!

This is some megamind shit!

Klaus’ cult is a happy cult :)

Diego and Lila have a budding romance

Someone gets blasted

Vanya looks really scared at the wheel of a car by the milk man

That was phrased horribly

Some jackass dodges one of Diego’s knives

This is kinda off topic

But there is such a harsh contrast between the characters moods in the instagram posts and in the trailer

For example, Allison looked super happy in the posts, but super pissed in the trailer

Klaus looked super pissed in the posts, but super happy in the trailer

Same thing goes for the rest of them, it completely contrasts

Klaus looks like he’s dancing while high in a liquor isle (you were doing so good baby, so good)

Klaus, Allison, and Vanya dancing in the foyer in something I can get behind

I love Vanya’s dancing

In every situation, it’s awkward, it’s nerdy, but it’s so good

It’s a Napolean Dynamite type situation

I’m not going to get into that interaction with Luther and Five, I don’t know

It looks like Luther and Five team up in this season and that is a nope from me

Ben shushes Klaus in front of a door title bureau and I don’t even know

LOL, a book meant for very dumb children

THis is a cute fight between Ben and KLaus

Stop trying to make Luther and Five happen, it’s not going to happen

I love it how Five asks Klaus

He’s not even like

As he here? In like a hopeful way

It’s more like, how many idiots do we have to deal with today

No, unfortunately ghosts can’t time travel

Are you kidding me?

That seems like Justin and Robert’s real life chemistry,  lol

The sign behind Ben’s head isn’t actually a real place

Someone got PISSED at Luther

I’m betting it was Vanya

The second she saw him she was like

Hey asshole, remember the years of abuse you put me through and how you hurt me more when I was hurt?

Guess what bitch, that came back to haunt you

But then again? How were you supposed to know that you’re actions had consequences

Boo-hoo

Look! It’s Allison’s boyfriend again!

It looks like Allison and Klaus are together in time, and when Five popped in they were like wut

Baby Pogo. No.

Yay! Diego beats the shit out of 66% of the scrooges

Ax child ax child ax child

Who beat up Luther I’ll shake his hand

Flippity flip flip flippity

Why in there the giant beams of light hurting Allison HASN’T SHE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

I AM 10000000% here for the tiki hut

I heard a rumor that you punched yourself in the face

Young Reginald

NO NO NO

This is a really important detail

11/22/63 is a Stephen King novel

11/22/63 is a novel about

A TIME TRAVELER WHO GOES BACK IN TIME TO STOP THE KENNEDY ASSASINATION

THE SAME PLOT

Here’s the wikipedia page, Gerard knows what he’s doing

[cagestark]

WIS for Keyz

Happy early birthday to one of my personal angels in the fandom, @starkerkeyz​. I hope your day is half as lovely as you are <3

About this drabble: SFW. WinterIronSpider. Bucky and Peter coax Tony out of the lab and pamper him.

-

“Hey handsome,” Bucky murmurs, his breath a warm plume against the back of Tony’s neck. His body doesn’t even shiver though, not with the complex circuitry in front of him. Reaching up, he taps at the goggles he wears until the lenses zoom in. “Can I get a ETA on when to expect you upstairs again?”

“Give me another hour,” Tony murmurs, barely moving his mouth, diverting his very breath away from the circuit board in front of him. There’s something wrong, something with the capacitors not holding charge efficiently. Sighing, he reaches out for the soldering iron and presses it against the solder joint, slipping into his work more seamless than another man might slip into sleep.

Bucky clears his throat. Tony glances up and sees that Peter is beside him, more than half a head shorter, though their twin expressions of disapproval make them look remarkably similar. I’ve messed up, Tony thinks. What’d I do?

“The hour will go by faster if you don’t interrupt me, lights of my life,” he mutters, eyes slipping back down to the circuit board.

“The hour went by, Tony. It went by an hour ago,” Peter says.

Tony blinks. He glances at the digital clock displayed by his work station, but he has no context for it, no idea when Bucky last came down into the lab, no idea even whether the time on the clock is AM or PM. All at once he feels the aching hollowness of his stomach, the greasy heaviness of his unwashed hair.

“How long have I been down here?” Tony wonders.

“Since Thursday, boss,” FRIDAY says. Unhelpful, considering Tony isn’t even sure of the day at this point.

“Too long,” Bucky translates. “Up you get. Don’t make me manhandle you.”

Manhandling sounds—well, Tony would hardly mind. He plays up that lasciviousness, leaning heavily on his stronger lovers to disguise how his knees ache from being bent for so long, how his head goes foggy from low blood pressure.

There’s a scent, one that makes his mouth water, throat ache. How he can smell it in the elevator when the penthouse is floors and floors away, he has no clue. When he relaxes his head, nuzzling against Peter’s neck, he smells it there: garlic and marinara.

“Have you been cooking?” Tony asks. “You could have ordered out, kid, charged the card I gave you. No need to expend the effort on my behalf—“

“None of that or I’ll gag you with a piece of garlic bread.”

Tony opens his mouth wide as the elevator doors open. He lets out a groan at the aroma of fresh tomato and basil. There’s wine on the counter, and three glasses—Bucky and Peter are both familiar with Tony’s personal rule that he never drink alone. Considering his lovers don’t care much to drink, this must be a special occasion.

“God, it’s our anniversary, isn’t it,” Tony slurs. “I’m so sorry. I meant to send flowers, four dozen roses or—“

“Our anniversary is in the summer,” Bucky reminds him. Glancing over at the windows, Tony sees the dark, cold evening sky, the swirl of snow. He blinks. Nudging him forward, Bucky leads him away from the dinner. “Bath first. You stink.”

“Can’t smell anything over that garlic bread—bath? Excuse me? What am I, a toddler?”

“I’m thinking about bending you over my knee like one if you don’t start stripping,” Bucky says. His eyes glitter though while he sits on the edge of the porcelain tub (big enough to fit three, Tony knows from pleasurable experience), watching Tony strip off his t-shirt singed with holes. The bath fills with water so hot it steams, and it isn’t until it’s half full that Bucky stands and begins to strip himself.

“Is it that kind of bath then?” Tony wonders. “Because we can skip the foreplay and get straight to the main event. I’m easy like that.”

“Peter,” Bucky calls, loud to be heard over the rushing water. “Bring that garlic bread gag!”

“Okay!” Peter chirps.

Bucky gets in first, leaning his back against the curve of the tub, legs spread wide. It’s clear that he wants Tony to take up space between those thighs. Swallowing hard, Tony enters as carefully as he can, a water-warmed metal hand helping keep him stable as he slips down under the water, groaning at the immediate relief it gives his aching muscles.

“God, that’s good.”

Bucky hums, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist, coaxing him to lean back against that broad, strong chest. All at once, Tony feels choked up, eyes stinging, throat working to swallow the knot that rests there.

“You don’t have to do all this, you know,” Tony says, struggling to keep his voice even. “A few days down in the lab is nothing. Before you two, I’d become very good at being alone. I can take care of myself.”

“You’re good at taking care of yourself,” Bucky mutters, his voice a warm rumble against Tony’s back. “Now we’ve got to get you good at being taken care of.”

“A tip?” Peter says, three empty glasses held in one hand and a plate of garlic bread in the other. The wine bottle is tucked under his arm. “Just lay back and take it. Here, garlic bread first.”

Tony shakes his hand half-dry and reaches out to take a piece of bread. It’s still warm, crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, slick with olive oil. He can’t help but groan and lick his fingers clean. Peter seats himself on the floor beside the tub and pours three even glasses, offering one to each of them.

One of Bucky’s hands comes up and begins to work to dampen the hairs at the back of Tony’s head, breath ghosting over his neck and—yes. Now he gets goosebumps. I could get used to this, he thinks.

And, well, practice makes perfect.

“Want to wash my hair?” Tony mumbles, half-asleep.

Peter takes the wine glass from his hand before it can slip free on its own, and Bucky presses a soft kiss in the hollow between Tony’s neck and shoulder. “I thought you’d never ask.”

[bubmyg]

anniversary (crying version) - jjk

pairing: jeongguk x reader

genre/warnings: youtuber!au, fluff, the world’s most sickening couple is back except it’s on their anniversary, idk if i’ve ever mentioned this but ot7 are all youtubers in this universe (except for namjoon, he’s just seokjin’s roommate but that’s not important right now jfaksld)

word count: 1,529

summary: you want to surprise jeongguk for your three year anniversary or you give jimin the password to jeongguk’s youtube account (not clickbait)

a/n: yes this is shamelessly inspired by the festa euphoria piano version video and yes, you should listen to it while you read this

“Hey, did you grab your phone after you paid?”

There was a split second moment of panic in the round of Jeongguk’s eyes, puffing out like a frog where the suction of his lips were still attached to the wide straw of his boba. He stalled, mid stride, free hand smacking the pocket of his jeans. When his palm collided with the hard surface tucked securely in tight denim, he relaxed but frowned at you. An adorable pout, cheeks filling with air, nostrils flaring, lips reluctantly pulling away from his tea to scrunch at you.

“Why would you scare me like that?” Jeongguk whined.

You patted his stomach, “Just making sure. Wouldn’t want to lose that.”

He took your hand, pinning your fingers with the thread of his before he said, “Why? All your good nudes are on my camera—”

You smacked him with your free hand anyway, cheeks warming aside from the midday sun encompassing the park sidewalks, and you quipped, “What’s the return policy on boyfriends? It’s been three years now, can I still get at least a small refund?”

“Hey,” Jeongguk turned the attention of his pout to you just to see you falter because he knew you would, “You can’t be mean to me on our anniversary.”

“I’m not mean to you anyway.”

“I know you’re not,” He nearly toppled over you to peck your cheek. “You’re the bestest, most beautiful—”

“Okay, calm down lover boy,” You used the disadvantaged lean of his stature to direct him to your pleasing, “Let’s sit down over here for a second.”

You checked your watch once Jeongguk had settled enough to become preoccupied with swirling his straw around the tiny balls at the bottom of his drink, heart lodging in your throat as you watched the hands click over.

“Hey,” You nudged him by leaning into him, cheek against the inside of his bicep to peer up at him, “Check your phone for me.”

“What’s the obsession with my phone?” He continued to jam the straw into the black substance, swirling them against the transparent plastic, “...did you send me something that’s meant for my eyes only or—”

“What’s your obsession with seeing me naked?”

“You know the answer to that question.”

“Jeongguk,” He giggled when you snatched his drink out of his grasp, settling it onto the pebble coated concrete below your feet, “Check your phone.”

He sighed, arching to fish the device from his pocket before leaning forward, elbows on his thighs, as you attached yourself to his arm. You watched the side of his face instead of the screen as his thumb hesitated, hovering over a dimmed notification.

“My upload was successful?” Dark eyebrows scrunched and his chin tilted just a fraction, “What upload? I didn’t schedule anything—”

You nosed into the sleeve of Jeongguk’s shirt, silent as he surfed to his account, him equally as silent as he tapped on the “successful upload”, a blurry thumbnail preselected by the platform because that wasn’t the focus of the video anyway.

A fade of black into the first shot was all you watched before you pressed your features fully into his arm, holding onto the apex of his elbow a bit tighter as your own voice, distorted audio from the phone speakers but your voice nonetheless, floated to your ears.

“Hey baby…” It was a clip you’d taken that night, morning in theory but too soon after the clock had clicked past midnight to truly be considered morning. His head on your chest, lips parted and drooling against your sleep shirt, your free hand in the fluff of his shower fresh hair while the other tried to maintain a semi decent angle without waking him, “Happy anniversary.”

The song that began to play was one of his, self produced solely for the purpose of his intro and outro but the wordlessly melody extended into something beautiful, something to slap over any and all vlogs he made dedicated to you. One he serenaded you to in the mornings when his mouth was still full of toothpaste or whispered into your hair when the fatigue of everything made it hard to sleep.

It was different this time, though, tweaked at the request of your nonmusical knowledge but fixed by the talented hands of Yoongi, softened and backtracked with a piano you’d watched the commentary-Youtuber play himself while you roughed eager hands over his shoulders and high fived him with two hands afterwards (It’s perfect, thank you!), then taken to Jimin to add to the never-ending list of clips you’d emailed him, once you just wanted placed into a montage, nothing too fancy. But Jimin made it fancy, pouring the love you didn’t know how to say nor edit into the collage of memories, promising not to do anything stupid with his newfound ability to hack into Jeongguk’s Youtube account by means of your quick handwriting on a pink sticky note.

The memories started as early as you had felt confident enough to film him as much as he filmed you, quite literally a clip of him fiddling with his camera while you draped yourself over his shoulder, zooming in on the freckle underneath the smile on his lips while he murmured are you me now? to as late as the week before your anniversary when you’d caught him researching human sized flower bouquets in his office. Capturing the moments in between all of his life that was plastered on the Internet, like seeing himself through a mirror but instead with glasses on that zeroed in on your perspective, the love and affection he was aware of but often blind to the full magnitude.

He filmed things because he wasn’t good with words. You filmed things to reinforce your words, reassure him of your words.

You watched the last clip fade away with the music, the audio of the original clip left in this time, one from your last vacation where he’d given you a tiny diamond ring on the beach (This isn’t what you think. Okay maybe it is. It’s a promise. Do they call it a promise ring?) and you’d cried about how cheesy he was, eyes still a little puffy when you turned your phone camera on but it didn’t matter because he was still rambling to the painted canvas sky about how much he loved you when you squished his cheeks between your thumb and four fingers, ring not quite fully on your finger but prominent nonetheless, puffing out his lips enough to plant a firm kiss on them.

“I love you too, idiot.”

The screen was black long enough for the autoplay feature to slip into his video from the previous week, his own screeching voice bringing him back to reality as he exited the application, locking his phone to set it gently aside on the bench.

“How did you…”

“Yoongi mixed the song for me. Jimin helped me edit and upload,” You watched as he continued to stare at the sidewalk, eyes opening all the way and then scrunching shut.

“So you mean Jimin has my password?”

“He promised he wouldn’t do anything. I’ve been working on this for weeks, he would have already deleted that one prank video where you shaved a stripe into the back of his head and—”

Your surroundings whirled, voice cut off with an abrupt hmph! as you were crushed in a pair of strong arms, turned and twisted until you were straddling his lap.

“I’m kidding. Oh my god, I was just kidding,” Jeongguk’s nose dug into the crook of your neck, fists scrunched at the back of your shirt, “He can delete my entire channel. I couldn't care any less at the moment. I love you so much. I love you so fucking much—”

You cooed when he collected your face in his hands, holding you at the tear of his gaze until the streams bubbling over his bright eyes contoured a line down the slope of his nose. He laughed when your thumb brushed into his skin, collecting the droplets where they framed red at the crinkles in his smile, brushing until it did no good and you decided to kiss him instead.

“Thank you. It’s perfect—” Jeongguk stuttered into the seam of your lips that tasted of salt and peach, “—you’re perfect. You are. It’s ridiculous. I can’t believe you’re mine. How did I—”

“Shh.”

He flushed under your affections, seven shades of shy pink when you kissed his cheek then moved for the other. “This is why I stick to videos,” He told you when you kissed his eyelid, peering up at you with a scrunched nose that you kissed too.

“And you’re damn good at it.”

Some more squeaks and attempts at rambling his affections for you subsided like the leak of tears into your collar. “M’gonna hold you forever,” He decided finally, tightening his grip in the same moment that you tried to clamber off him.

“Only if I can love you forever.”

Silence and then Jeongguk huffed against the dip in your collarbone.

“Ew. Maybe we should both stick to videos…”

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Chapter 3: Winding Me Up Inside

Story: Why Can’t This Be Love

Click to read on Archive

Art of Eddie and Richie by @whatidoisxsecret

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

___

Eddie honked profusely at the car in front of him. Everyone had decided it was idiot day on the road as one of the bridges was down from a car fire. People were cutting him off or making illegal u-turns that almost hit his car. He ended up pulling over to grab a drink at a restaurant. He wasn’t very well going to die tonight if he could calm his nerves with alcohol instead. It was unfortunate that he left his pills at home, knowing they could calm him immediately but a gin and prune juice, his healthy alcoholic beverage of choice, would have to do the trick. 

About a month had gone by since ‘The Arrangement’, something Richie had started calling their pretend dating. Eddie would’ve rather called it ‘The Nightmare’ but Richie wanted a positive outlook on the situation. 

Eddie eyed a grungy bar next to a pizza joint that looked perfect to grab a cheap drink. However, upon further observation, there was a rainbow flag sticking out above the bar’s entrance. He blinked at it, took a step forward, then froze. His body had seized up at the prospect of going in.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there but a booming voice said, “You in or out?” Tossing him from a temporary mind blank.

“Huh?” Eddie focused on the bouncer standing by the entrance, who was ripped and large. He never understood having such intimidating people be the first greeting you encounter before entering a bar or club. Don’t these businesses want people to come in? “Oh...er...no no. Just searching for a place to drink.” 

“Well, this is a bar.” The man eyed Eddie up and down, giving the impression of being humanly x-rayed. “Drinking is the main activity...among other things.” There was some prolonged eye contact between them that dried Eddie’s throat into a Sahara desert.

Eddie nodded shifting forward. He reached for his wallet, which had his ID, but his hand merely hovered over his slack's front pocket. 

“Maybe another time?” The man suggested with a lighter tone. Eddie straightened up, nodded and walked away. 

He just failed at that pretty spectacularly. What would Richie think? Probably that he was a chicken. This had been an extra hard month. With the realization, he may have stronger feelings toward guys than he had ever admitted to himself. He had stopped sleeping, barely ate, and secluded himself more. 

Suddenly, the demise of his relationship with Myra was making more sense. When she used to touch him sensually, his skin crawled. He assumed that was from the years of his mother convincing him the world was a germ-infested blackhole, girls were dirty, and how he could never truly be clean. Except he rarely felt that way when Richie touched him. Or any of his friends. Sure, they had known each other for years, but he knew Myra for a long time too and it didn’t settle into a comfortableness that relationships were meant. 

He tended to resist Myra’s kisses, fake not feeling good to get out of sex, and pushed her away constantly. Their break up had been devastating. At the time he believed it was because the love of his life left him. Now he knew the truth. 

Eddie eventually got a drink at a bar a few blocks away. The drink refreshed and calmed him immediately. It’s funny how certain things relaxed him right away because he’d conditioned himself to feel that way. His mind began thinking about tomorrow, a chilling dread running up his neck. He scratched at the nape even though nothing truly itched. 

He was seeing his friends for a pre-engagement party celebration. Just the seven of them. The thought almost made him break out into sweats. He downed his drink and ordered another. Usually, he would be extremely excited and thrilled to see the losers club, except the next step in the arrangement, was occurring. Eddie had to come out collectively to the group. A fake coming out but that fakeness was becoming authentic with every passing moment. 

He wished there was someone he could talk this out with. There was Mike, but that felt wrong somehow. The one person he wanted to tell was Richie. What would he even say? There was a nightmare scenario he replayed every day that Richie would laugh in his face, which logically he would never do but Eddie’s attempts at controlling his imagination have never come to fruition. 

While he was absently stirring his drink, his phone started ringing. A picture popped up on his screen of Richie lifting a screaming/laughing Eddie from behind. He took an extra second to remember the joyful memory, running a finger over the picture then answered. 

He sighed into the phone, “Hey, Rich.” 

“Where you at, gumdrop?” said Richie with an obvious smile in his voice.

“A bar. The traffic was crap, so I am waiting it out.” 

“What’re you wearing?” He said suggestively.

Eddie frowned, huffing out, “Work clothes, why?” 

Richie clicked his tongue, “Cause you are supposed to be at Beverly and Ben’s celebration extravaganza in,” quick pause where Eddie figured Richie was looking at his phone for the time, “20 minutes.” 

“No, it is tomorrow.” Eddie insisted.

“No, my cutie patootie Eds, it is today.” 

“No,” He said slowly. “It’s on Friday, you turd.” 

A laugh came through the phone, “Today IS Friday.” 

Eddie paused as horror sunk in fast and deep. “Oh shit…”

“Yeah, so see you at the restaurant!” Richie hung up, leaving Eddie to his panic.

He slapped down a $20 on the bar counter, despite the drink being less than half that and bolted out the door. He ran past the bouncer who shouted, “Don’t trip, kid!”

His car turned on with a roar then he zoomed out of the space. The traffic had significantly cleared which worked in his favor as his car swerved around dangerously. His heart pounded with adrenaline. When he pulled up in front of the restaurant, Richie was standing on the curb smoking a cigarette. 

Eddie gave the valet his car keys, not even thinking about how much that would cost him at the end of the night, and hurried over to his friend. 

“The prodigal son has returned!” Richie tossed the second half of his cigarette on the ground, stomping it out for good measure. As Eddie neared Richie wrapped an arm around his shoulders pulling them close together. The smell of smoke was both overwhelming and familiar. As much as Eddie despised the disgusting habit, he was so used to it that he could brush it off. 

Eddie pushed on his chest to free himself a little but not enough to break contact. “I can’t believe I fucking forgot.” 

“Take a minute to breathe, Eds. Where’s your head been at lately?” Richie asked in what he probably thought was a casual tone, except, Eddie knew better. His friend was really asking ‘Where have you been?' or 'Why are you isolating yourself?’. 

Isolation was the only solution for hiding his emotions, which had been many and increasing each day he spent alone with his thoughts. 

Instead of answering the question, Eddie shrugged and smiled lightly. 

Richie reached up and pinched Eddie’s cheek with a “Cute, cute, cute!”

“Stop it, I hate that!” 

He laughed, “You ready to do this?” 

Eddie took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, “I can’t do this.” 

“You CAN do this!” said Richie with excitement. “Just be yourself.”

“Fake coming out to my friends is the worst idea we’ve ever had. It is wrong.”

“What do you suggest then?”

Eddie nervously glanced at his feet, “I think we should just out ourselves to Bill like we planned next.”

“You think they are going to believe Bill without any pretense? No, you have to come out and it has to be tonight since it’ll be the only time we are all together before Beverly and Ben’s engagement party. If you steal her thunder in any way, she will murder. Who she’ll murder is unclear but it starts with Ed and ends with die. Hey! That was more clever than I intended.”

Eddie swallowed, “Alright, but Richie…”

He made a tracing motion toward the ground  “There will be a chalk shaped Eddie on the ground with Beverly DNA everywhere. It’s going to work, Eds. I promise.”

“Don’t call me, Eds. Listen, Rich I…”

“Stop trying to come up with excuses! It’s going to be fine.”

“No, Richie! Just shut up a second!” His heart was beating out of his chest, he had to tell Richie what he had been going through or everything could be ruined. He had to give him an out if he wanted. Eddie shrugged off Richie’s arm, so they were facing each other. “I’ve been thinking that I...I…”

“Well, spit it out Eds. Thinking what?” 

“I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE GUYS!”

Richie stood shocked and silent at first, just staring. Those ice-blue eyes hiding secrets and judgments that Eddie desperately wanted to hear aloud. Tears had caught in Eddie’s eyes which he blinked away quickly. “Well! Don’t just stand there, asshole! Say SOMETHING!” He demanded. 

“I...I…” Richie sputtered face turning crimson red. 

“Well, spit it out, Trashmouth.” mocked Eddie.

“I do too.” He gasped out. 

It was Eddie’s turn to stare in silence. “Sorry, I think I went temporarily insane. Repeat that?”

“I like guys, too. I have since college.” Richie sighed with relief. “Maybe longer.”

“What? You have?” This revelation made Eddie take a step back. “I had no idea.”

“Not relevant information to disclose.” Shrugged Richie. 

Eddie gave a confused look then lowered his eyes skeptically, “This isn’t a joke, Richie. I actually believe I am gay.”

“You're the one who shoved a rainbow cake with sprinkles on top of my bisexual pie.” Richie’s eyes twinkled. 

“Wow,” A smile broke out across both their faces, pure joy at the realization that they weren’t alone. They had never been alone. “What were the chances that 2 out of the 7 of us friends would be gay.” 

They stood there, in a rare silence, watching each other with a newfound comradery that didn’t seem possible after 20 years of friendship. Richie grabbed Eddie’s forearm and pulled him in for a hug, which was returned 10 fold. Tears that he forgot to keep holding in fell into the side of Richie’s neck. His emotions were on a rollercoaster with no chance of stopping. He faintly heard Richie say, “Eddie, I…”

He didn’t get to finish what he planned to say because a “Richie! Eddie! W-what’s the hold up?” Interrupted them. They quickly broke their embrace as Bill appeared beside them. He looked calm despite a bit of impatience in his eyes, then saw their faces and concern washed over him immediately. 

Bill put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, the weight very comforting. “Everything ok?” He reached in his pocket and took out a travel tissue pack. Eddie gave a watery giggle, taking one and blowing his nose. 

“Yeah, Big Bill,” said Eddie. “Everything’s great.” And he found that his words were true.

After a few more breathes and checking himself in the selfie camera of his phone, Eddie felt ready to face his friends. The three men walked into the restaurant, heading to a back room that Ben reserved for the occasion. 

“Congrats to the couple!” Richie shouted as he bounded over to bear hug and lift Beverly off her feet. She laughed swatting at him, “Let me go you dorkface!” 

“Dorkface!” Exclaimed Richie. “Of all the sass to receive from your dude of honor.” 

Eddie watched the exchange warmly. Ben patted him on the back. “Traffic?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah.” Eddie said embarrassed. “Tons.” 

“There was a car fire and crash on the bridge.” Came the dry, toneless voice of Stanley Uris. “Surprised it wasn’t you Eddie, with all your road rage.”

Eddie gave a pout in Stanley’s direction but walked over to his friend for a handshake and a hug. “Such a kind, warm greeting from you Stan. I miss you, too.” 

“Where’ve you been lately?” He sounded unperturbed, but he wouldn’t ask if there wasn’t a genuine concern.

“Oh ya know,” Eddie trailed off with a shrug. Stanley lifted an eyebrow but didn’t push it, for now at least.

Eddie started to seat himself between Stanley and Ben when Richie grabbed his collar jerking him backward. “Scoot over, Stan the man.” 

Stanley rolled his eyes, “No.” 

“Why?” asked Richie.

“Because I am comfortable here.” 

“You’re being a stinker, Stanley. Move to the seat next to Ben. You like Ben, don’t you?” 

“Of course I…”

Richie looked right at Ben, “Too bad for you, Benny boy, it seems Stanley doesn’t like you anymore.” 

“Beep- beep, Richie,” Beverly warned while drinking a glass of wine and placing a hand on Ben’s arm. 

“I’m just saying it is suspect that the best man doesn’t want to sit next to the groom.” 

“He’s not a groom until the wedding day.” Stanley insisted. “And I am already sitting…” 

“Richie isn’t gonna let it go, Stan. Just move over one.” said Bill with strong finality. None of the losers liked to admit anymore that Bill remained the group’s leader even into adulthood. But when he made a request it was usually followed with little argument. Eddie figured it didn’t matter how independent any of them grew up to be, Bill still held a controlling rope over them. Something Stanley was known to resent.

He moved over a seat as Eddie gave an apologetic look at every one. Getting between Richie and Stanley tended to end in him being yelled at, so he rarely bothered anymore. Besides, he bickered with Richie more than anyone else so Stanley had no room to complain. 

Richie glanced around the room realizing they had a missing loser. “Where’s Mike?” 

“Bathroom,” Responded Beverly, still nursing her drink. “How was work, Eddie?” 

“Fine, I guess.” The last thing he wanted to talk about, except his mother, was his boring job. “An econ student was hired as my intern, which makes me think I’ve finally made it.” 

“Poor bastard is in for a world of ribbing by all your accounting co-workers,” said Richie, bumping Eddie’s shoulder. 

Eddie laughed, “Oh, I already made a joke at him today. Why do economists exist?” He scanned around the table then opened his mouth to answer. 

Mike’s voice interrupted from the door of the private room, “So accountants have someone to laugh at.”

“Mike!” whined Eddie. “You stole my punch line.”

“Sorry, Eddie.” He took his seat between Beverly and Bill. 

Stanley smirked, “You practiced that joke didn’t you.” 

“Shut up,” Eddie groaned. “How was your trip, Ben?” 

“Not the best,” Ben sighed, he wore a deprecating grin. No matter the story, Ben always had some kind of upturned smile, it was a unique quality. Considering most people told Eddie he had sad eyes, being able to smile at all times would be an excellent trait. “I didn’t leave early enough like I usually do because it was so early in the morning. I left my water bottle in the rental car they got me, then ran from TSA to the gate, was in my seat when I realized the sweater Bev got me for my birthday was back at security.” 

Beverly rubbed his back soothingly, “We can get you new ones of both those things.”

“I know, it’s just a bummer because they were special items before I lost them.” Eddie understood. Ben and he shared the same mentality about their personal items, each thing they owned held a nice memory. He knew that the water bottle was one Ben got from his job after the big promotion, he could ask for another one but it wouldn’t be the same as the moment he received the gift. The feeling of pride and achievement all through a meaningless material item. 

“Well, lucky for you, Ben.” Richie pulled out something from his bag, handing it across the table to Ben. “I had these made for everyone.” Richie continued grabbing water bottles from his bag, passing them around. 

“This is so nice, Rich!” said Beverly. She laughed at the label. Eddie looked down at his seeing ‘#TeamBenverly’. It was great quality, a platted maroon paint covered the bottle with the lettering in a bold white. 

“I still have the keychain you gave us for my bachelor party.” said Bill.

“That’s right!” Mike chimed in. “What does it say again?” 

“Big Bill’s Bitchin’ Bachelor Bash.” Stanley drawled. “Kinda clever.” 

Richie grabbed Eddie’s shoulder, making Eddie almost jump in confusion. He stared at Richie, who was clutching his heart in mock shock, “A compliment? I don’t think I can handle that from you, Stanley Urine.” 

“I take it back,” said Stanley, “You don’t have any cleverness. Only idiocy.” 

“Hmmmm, insults,” Richie leaned in front of Eddie, still holding his shoulder as his face got closer to an unamused Stanley. “They feed my very soul.” 

Eddie placed his hand over Richie’s face and pushed him backward the metal of his glasses digging into Eddie’s hand, “Your soul has a healthy appetite then.” 

“Oof, your words fill me up most, Eds.” 

“Eds is a dumb nickname and you know it.” 

“Alright, alright!” Mike called the attention toward him. “Let’s hear from Ben and Beverly. A decade of being together and now you’re tying the knot. How does it feel?” 

Ben looked to Beverly, who smiled sweetly at him. “Feels perfect,” said Ben simply, but in those two words, he expressed years worth of working toward friendship and partnership that went beyond infatuation. “I’m so happy. And even happier to have my best friends around to celebrate.” 

“This wedding is really about coming together,” started Beverly, “With our friends, the family we’ve chosen, to celebrate love. I think what we have with all of you is rare and...” 

Eddie thought deeply about her phrasing ‘the family we’ve chosen’. He had many issues with his mother, different than Beverly’s father problems but they both came from toxic environments. Kindred spirits in a dark and twisted way. 

With all his thoughts lately, he had pushed down how his mother would react. He may never tell her, if he could help it. Her religious views left no room for tolerance on the subject. 

He shoved thinking about his mother deep in a box in his brain and focused on Beverly, who was still speaking, “...so just thank you for being there for us. Anyway, let’s fucking celebrate!” 

They all cheered, Eddie looking around with a smile on his face. With his ‘chosen family’ he could trust them to love him no matter what. 

As the night wore on with lots of laughs, food, and stories. Ben brought up the story of when he finally got the courage to ask out Beverly, “I was waiting outside of school, sweating profusely, despite wearing 2 sweaters…”

“You always wore so many layers!” said Bill laughing. 

“Well, when you are fat and subconscious, that’s how you hide it.” Ben said, voice lowering a bit in embarrassment. 

“Ben Handsome now shows off his true glory and beauty.” said Richie with a wink. “Just the way I like it.”

“Beep- beep, Richie.” Blushed Ben. “As I was saying, I waited outside and she approached me like in slow motion. I thought I was going to throw up. As I opened my mouth to say something she said,” He motioned for Beverly to continue the story. 

She giggled, “I said, ‘Ben, let’s go to prom together’. His face drained of color and he passed out.” The whole room erupted in laughs. “I..I was knocked to the ground!” Beverly tried to say through gleeful tears, “He fell forward into me.” 

“You were a very pleasant landing.” Ben smiled in mortification. 

“You planning to faint at your wedding too?” said Stanley, “As your best man, I will need to prepare.” 

“No, I’m not. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” said Richie. “I will have a fainting couch ready as a precaution.”

“You’ll probably just jump in front of Beverly and take one for the team,” piped Eddie.

“Speaking of the wedding,” Stanely rounded on Eddie and Richie. A dread bubbled in Eddie’s stomach. “You two having to bring dates is the smartest rule. I should have thought of that for my wedding.” 

Richie threw his napkin at Stanley’s face, “Don’t make me take YOU as my date Stan the man.” 

“You could never get this, Trashmouth.” 

“I can get whoever I want. Right, Eds?” 

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie mumbled. “While we are on the subject, just so no one is surprised, I might bring someone who none of you would expect.” Eddie felt his knee being squeezed from under the table. It took him a moment to realize it was Richie’s hand, he was giving a warning. Most likely telling him to keep the details limited, but Eddie hoped it was a touch for encouragement.

“Please, don’t bring Myra.” said Mike making the group groan collectively. 

“Now, that would be unexpected.” Richie snickered.

“Eddie, you’re not actually thinking…” said Bill seriously. “Beverly, if they get back together I blame you.” 

“Me?!” Beverly opened her mouth to fight but Eddie interrupted. 

“Hello! Back to me, losers. I am not bringing Myra. I am not even interested in women!” The words slipped out quick, and he wished they could be suctioned into his mouth once more. 

They went quiet, as the news hit them. Mike was smiling at Eddie. He felt his bravery trickling into cowardice the longer none of them said anything. 

“S-so does this mean,” began Bill. “That you-you’re g-“

“Gay? Yes, stuttering Bill.” Richie answered seeming to be frustrated by Bill’s condition for the first time in a long time. Then a chair screeched out and Beverly ran around the table, slamming herself into Eddie. 

Her soft hair tickled his neck, his heart was calming down from her sudden show of affection. He placed a hand on the arm she slung over his chest. Richie’s hand hadn’t left his knee either. Everyone else’s reactions were fairly standard, awkward congratulations or they were proud of him, all expected. The surprising reaction was Stanley, perhaps because he didn’t react at all. He was silent for the rest of the evening. 

As they all stood outside saying goodbyes, Stanley seemed to linger a little aways from Eddie. He waited for the rest to leave, Richie was the last to hug him and head to his car. He wandered toward Stanley hesitantly. The taller man was twisting his key in hand repetitively, tapping his foot methodically. 

“So,” Eddie begun lightly, “I’ll see you later?” 

“Yeah,” answered Stanley stiffly. Eddie cocked his head to the side trying to meet his friend’s eyes, then gave up turning to leave. “How do you know?” Came his voice clearly from behind.

Eddie turned around, a few paces away. “Know what, Stan?”

“That you’re into guys.” 

“Because I just do?”

“How long have you known?” 

“Er...that’s more complicated. I mean I’ve been sitting on it for a month but..”

“A month?” interrupted Stanley, he was getting pink in the cheeks. “You’ve known a month and are coming out. That’s not enough time to know.” 

“What’re you talking about?” Eddie was trying to keep his voice calm, he could feel that tingle of rage that surges in him when he feels attacked.

“Have you ever been with a guy?” 

“What does that have to do with knowing whether I am gay? I know that every time I’ve thought of girls it hasn’t been the same as with guys. Or how with Myra...” 

“Ok, yeah! Myra!” He rose his voice like winning some kind of twisted victory. “You were with her for a year and you really didn’t know?”

“Stan, you’re being a jackass.” 

“I am trying to understand why you kept this from us?” 

“From YOU, you mean? Stan, I didn’t keep it from anyone. I was figuring out my shit, then I talked about it with Mike and…”

“You told Mike first?” 

“Um...no…” He caught himself quickly. “I told Richie first then Mike.” 

A hurt flashed over Stanley’s eyes that Eddie hadn’t seen in years. “You told them before me?” 

“Stan...come on. I told the rest of you at the same time. It was just easier to tell them at the time.” 

“I’ve known you as long as Richie has. Much longer than Mike.”

“It’s not about that!” Eddie was at a loss. This was getting nowhere. “I don’t know what to say, Stan. I’m not going to apologize.” 

“There is nothing to apologize for.”

“Then why are you fighting with me like there is?” 

Stanley remained silent. His arguments lost on his tongue. “I am tired. I will talk to you later.” And he walked away. Eddie stood there, stomach twisting the food inside uncomfortably, eyes watery from the sadness creeping in his head.

_________

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[kassies-take]

Super Shadowed

Warning: Angst

Danvers sister x b!danvers

Word Count: 2342

Part 1 || Finale

The day Krypton exploded Kal-El was sent to Earth and so was Kara Zor-El. What people didn’t know was that another member from the House of El was also sent to Earth. You were only eight when Krypton exploded, due to your smaller frame you crawled into the leg space as Kara sat in her seat.

When the pod got knocked off course from Krypton’s debris, Kara shielded your eyesight from seeing its destruction. You could tell she was scared too but she was doing her best to be the older sister.

There was only one time you woke up in the Phantom Zone and that was the most alone you’ve ever felt with Kara asleep, then you realized it has always been this way. You didn’t know how long you were awake. It could’ve been minutes, hours, days or even years. All you knew was that Fort Rozz was just out the window and that your life was going to be spent with Kara in a pod.

Earth was a whole different experience. If Kara was quiet you were quieter. This worried Kara, you were always the energetic bubbly kid sister, but she understood after losing a planet full of family and friends, it was difficult. You were both told to keep your powers hidden and only you kept true to those words. When your powers manifested you didn’t use them as much as Kara did.

While Kara was so hell-bent on being a hero you wanted nothing more than to be seen as a regular human. You were always overshadowed on Krypton and the moment Kara came out as Supergirl it all came back to you. How Alura favored Kara, how you were always babied by Eliza, Kara and even Alex, and ultimately how literally empty it felt to be in the Phantom Zone. Only Krypton and Earth were lonelier.

You made it clear to Alex and Kara that you didn’t want to be some hero. But that didn’t stop the three of you from being three peas in a pod. You and Kara fought over food, you and Alex teased Kara with her taste of music and there was never enough room on Kara Danver’s couch when you visited from school.

While Kara followed in Clark’s footsteps to be a journalist and reporter you put your mind to technology. After high school you went to M.I.T and received a job offer by Lena Luthor herself once you graduated.

Kara only managed to convince you to strap on the cape when she fell downhill with the whole I sent Mon-El away and now he’s married. Your suit was the same blue but the yellow and red were white and that was really when Superfriends knew of you at all.

“There’s another Danvers sister!” Winn beamed.

“(Y/N),” you introduced.

“T-that’s very human,” Winn stared at Kara

“(Y/N), abandoned her Kyptonian name. Kasa Zor-El.”

“Because Krypton is not here anymore!” You scoffed at the stares you received before you threw in the towel and flew away from Kara’s apartment.

Kara flew after you as you hovered over the city skyline.

“Kasa,” Kara pleaded with concern.

“Stop Kara, that’s isn’t my name!”

“Yes it is. This is how you keep Krypton alive. I get it, I really do. You had a life there, family, friends. But it’s been fifteen years, and on the way here I lost you.”

“I had no friends or family on Krypton!” You snapped.

“W-What are you talking ab-”

“I-I’m not talking about blood Kara. I had family yes but ieiu (mom) favored you, Aunt Astra loved you, Earth even loves you. I felt and still feel awuhkh (abandoned).” You said it in Kyptonese knowing it had more effect on Kara.

Kara’s face only fell in sorrow as she looked at you with pity. Something you definitely didn’t need.

“Kar, this is why I didn’t tell you. I don’t need your pity, especially after I told you.”

“That doesn’t explain how you got like this. You use to be so bright and cheery.”

“Nice to know I’m dark and moody,” you rolled your eyes and flew off towards the Fortress of Solitude.

“That’s not what I meant (Y/N)!” Kara screamed after you on your tail.

“KARA! YOU WEREN’T AWAKE. YOU DIDN’T SEE WHAT I SAW!” You landed in the snow

“What are you talking about?”

“The Phantom Zone,” you sighed. “I sat in our pod and looked into the empty void. At first I was afraid, but with Kryton’s debris around I realized that the empty void I stared at was just a reflection of my life on Krypton and now on Earth,” You eyes filled with tears and so did Kara’s.

“I didn’t know you felt that way ie (sister).”

“I’ve tried Kara. I’ve tried to go back. Krypton was my planet but it wasn’t my home. I don’t think I can stay here anymore. I’ll help you with your problem but I need to find my home.”

Kara pulled you into a hug, one that if your DNA didn’t hold Kryptonian DNA would surely break your bones.

Apparently Kara and Alex thought it would be a good idea to head to Barry’s Earth for his wedding. Kara thought meeting the whole gang would help you find a home within yourself, Alex just wanted you there cause despite your powers you were still her little sister.

Having seen the way Kara’s friends adored Kara made it worse. During the rehearsal dinner as Kara reconnected with her friends and Alex drank the night away, you were nowhere to be seen.

You sat over the edge of Jitter’s roof with your lead lenses glasses twirled in your hands. Yellow lighting appeared with a gust of wind behind it.

“So how do you know Barry or Iris?” A voice came behind you.

“Barry, when he went to Earth-38 and helped my sister.”

“Ah so you’re the famous Kasa Zor-El,” the voice approached you.

“(Y/N),” you turned to your right side.

“Wally,” he sat next to you. “I know that look, it’s the look of being in the shadows.”

You looked at Wally questionably as he continued.

“You have the same powers or you’re even better than the hero yet people only see you as the sidekick. You have powers yet people still see any threat as something you can’t handle. You try your hardest but will always remain number two a second option if their hero is gone.”

“I relate on a whole different level. I mean my Earth does not need another Super. Supergirl always saves the day,” you mimicked the tabloids.

You and Wally shared a good laugh or two as the person in the shadows. It felt nice to have someone you can relate too but as always the heroes need a babysitter for their hero work. That’s how you found yourself when Nazis stormed the church.

You and Wally were put on guarding duty.

“So what’s the game plan?” Wally asked with you trailing behind him.

“There is none yet. Whoever attacked us knows who we are, so just get Joe and Cecile as far as possible,” Barry explained.

“(Y/N), I want you to go with them,” Kara pleaded from the cortex entrance.

You looked between Kara and Barry.

“No way, we can help out,” you and Wally said together.

“You guys are helping by keeping our family safe,” Barry and Kara said in sync.

“They’re right, until we know what they’re planning, no one is safe,” Joe agreed.

Kara and Barry both gave a head nod as you and Wally sighed in defeat. Wally headed out with Joe first and as you prepared to leave you muttered a word of your feelings.

“Awuhkh, ” you said again before disappearing.

Though being a hero isn’t your forte, after the conversation you had with Wally you were not going to sit idly by while Nazis invaded Central City. It wasn’t your city but you did have the power and the knowledge to figure out what the Nazis wanted.

This was where you had more knowledge with than Kara. Now all you needed was a laptop or computer.

You connected to surveillance cameras of Star Labs to the screen and watched the process. Wally stood behind you as you both watched and pieced together the information given to you.

“Huh,” you laughed as Felicity found a location before a realization hit you that the prism they were after would mimic the red sun. “Oh crap.”

“What, What is wrong?” Wally asked.

“This prism can be altered to mimic the affects of the a red sun,” you explained.

“What does the red sun do?”

“Due to the yellow sun Earth has, Kryptonians are able to have different abilities. And the red sun gets rid of our powers, in short we will be humans.”

“So they’re trying to kill Kara?”

“But something isn’t making sense if they wanted to kill Kara they could just use Kryptonite.”

“Unless they’re making her body weak enough to cut her skin,” you physically snapped at Wally’s prediction and began typing.

The monitor zoomed into Alex with the Kryptonite arrow. Wally raised the volume at the previous recorded message with Earth X Kara having too much radiation

“Oh my god,” you froze.

“They’re using Kara as transplant.”

“And they just walked themselves into a trap.”

“You have to go,” Wally looked at you.

“What?”

“If Kara is going to be fighting herself there may be another version of you, I’ll stay here with Joe and Cecile. They need you more than they need me.”

“Godspeed Wally,” you patted him on the back before he pulled you into a hug.

“Go get em,” he smiled.

As you flew back to Central City what you planned on the way there was definitely a plan Kara Danvers wouldn’t like.

Getting through the Nazi soldiers that was the easy part, getting tthough to Kara X that was a different story. You walked towards Kara’s scared heart beat as you breathed in some confidence with what you were about to do.

You stood on the further side where the “red sun” couldn’t touch, you hid from Nazi soldiers that patrolled between the hallways before you headed towards the red room.

“It’s not going to work, you’re not going to get what you want,” you heard Kara say as you built up enough courage and walked towards the room.

“Really,” Kara X said and hovered over Kara

“Yes, really.” You’re own voice surprised you with how much power it had.

“Kasa,” Kara X stood in shock. “You died on Krypton!”

“In your universe maybe,” you stood your ground.

“And what. You’re going to stop me?” Kara X scoffed.

“No, I came for an offering.”

“(Y/N), you don’t have to do this!” Kara struggled to get out of her restraints.

“And what do you have to offer?”

“My healthy, younger heart in exchange for Kara and my friends freedom.”

You kneeled on your right leg with your right hand above your heart and your head slightly bowed. A Kryptonian promise.

“Kasa Zor-El! Don’t do this!” Kara was on the verge tears.

“Your sister died on Krypton, this way you will always have her with you,” you ignored Kara.

“I have to admit, normally I wouldn’t like such weakness but any warrior who faces their death with no fear is honorable,” Kara X beamed.

“She would’ve done the same for me.”

“Deal!”

As if on cue Thawne rushed in with Führer. Kara X and him shared a kiss before Thawne patted the gurney for Kara X to lay in.

“We’re going to need a new lab, I made a deal with my sister here,” Kara X pointed to you as Oliver and Thawne looked at you. “An exchange of her heart for her older sister’s freedom.”

“We don’t know if she’s a match,” Oliver growled.

“Do you dare defy me my husband?”

“No,” he puffed.

Thawne smiled “Don’t worry Kara Zor-El And Kasa Zor-El are practically twins.”

“Can the procedure be done on the Wellenreiter?” Oliver asked.

“With the prism it can be done anywhere.”

Kara X nodded, picked up Oliver and flew towards their version of the Waverider.

“Kara Zor-El ukiem, :zhalish. (Kara Zor-El I love you as my family, forgive me)”

You followed closely behind as Thawne smirked at Kara before he took the prism and disappeared. Kara still had the effects of the red sun in her system, she struggled harder and harder to release herself from the restraints as the leather dug into skin and drew drops of blood when Iris and Felicity entered the room.

“Kara,” Iris freed the restraints.

“W-where are the Nazis?” Felicity asked.

“Kara!” Alex threw the gun to the side and hugged Kara.

“Alex! They took her,” Kara cried. “They took (Y/N).”

Kara immediately wiped her tears and jumped onto the floor determined to get rid of her culture to save her sister. Only she has never felt as weak as she did at the moment as she collapsed onto her knees. She tried to get back up, the harder she tried the harder her body shook.

“Kara take it easy,” Alex held Kara once again.

“A-alex I c-can’t l-lose h-her,” Kara cried.

“I know, but if you go out there now. You will be killed!”

In that moment Kara finally felt you felt on Krypton, The Phantom Zone and even times on Earth. She hated it, she hated the lonely feeling even when the room was filled with friends and family, and she hated that you felt this way for you while life. A scream that rivaled the Canary erupted from Kara.

The whole room fell silent with goosebumps from Kara’s screams. No one has felt someone else’s pain as they did with Kara’s. It was the type of agonizing scream that puts any other thought on hold and drags everyone in a nearby vicinity into the same agony Kara was feeling. She lost her blood sister and felt guilty that you would never find the home you yearned for.

[halorocks1214]

the law of polarity

AO3 Link

Word Count: 11367

Summary:  The Law of Polarity states that everything is on a continuum and has an opposite. We can suppress and transform undesirable thoughts by concentrating on the opposite pole. It is the law of mental vibrations

Previous Parts (in order):  Alan | John | Virgil | Scott | You are here! | Gordon

that word count its just,,, growing BIGGER every day! i honestly don't understand my mind. 25 fucking pages. its boggling, i need better restraint my god. also: kayo you cryptic thing why are you so hard to write for helLO?? me writing kayo: guess ill die. *coughs* regardless, the next installment is here! i hope you still enjoy it. like the other ones, I'm mostly satisfied with it outside of a few spots so YEET 

“Kayo! Come on out!”

“Seriously, sweetheart, this isn’t funny!”

The 12-year-old promptly did the opposite by squirming further into her treehouse. It’s not that Jeff Tracy was a bad babysitter, or God forbid her dad was a bad dad, they were stellar. They just had to understand that there were times when a kid wanted to be left alone and that was to be respected. She shoved herself further into her corner and brought her arms around her knees.

… Okay, she was avoiding them, but she had a good reason.

Whatever this dumb thing about ‘sending her away’ was pointless and trite. She was simply going to lay low, wait for the dumb-dumbs to cool off and then they’ll realize they were being dumb-dumbs and drop this whole dumb-dumb idea!

She didn’t like what she was hearing in the first place anyway.

“Watch out for her uncle, my brother.”

“Ah, opposed to your uncle that is also your mother?”

“Jeff.”

The serious tone made both Kayo and Jeff flinch. Then, Kyrano put his foot down even more, “You know the one. You were friends, right? Hell, he’s the technical reason we met, you know what I’m talking about. Promise me to watch out for him.”

Kayo looked up at Jeff’s face from her hiding spot in the doorway to see his breathing get slightly more labored, but the way he spoke could only be described as confident, “Okay. I promise. Just like I promised to keep her safe, got it?”

Kyrano relaxed at that, though, his breathing was worse than what Jeff’s was. The man gulped and nodded his head, “Good. Now then, let’s go find her. We should explain this properly to her. She’ll understand.”

If she waited to hear her dad’s last sentence she might have laughed. As soon as the agreement was in place, she quietly zoomed away to her comfort spot to wait for the storm to pass. Too bad that storm had a homing beacon because right as she unfolded herself a little bit (she was getting uncomfy), Jeff Tracy climbed up to the window and went, “AHA! Gotcha!”

Before Jeff could explain, she was zipping down the slide and across the yard. In her panic, she broke one of her major rules when running away from something: never look behind you in any shape or form. Not only could you be focusing on something else like trying to get to your destination quicker if you kept your face forward, but you also can’t avoid anything that gets in your way if you’re not watching out for it.

Such was her father’s arms, which grabbed her around the waist and held on tight, “Oh thank God.”

Okay, she was expecting anger or at least minor scolding. She was not expecting her dad to practically cry in relief, nor for him to drop to his knees and hold onto her tightly. It froze everything about her: her mind, her body, yeah, everything. The only thing she could do in response was to awkwardly hug him back as Jeff slowly walked towards them, “See? I told you that you were panicking for no reason. Now, would you like me to stay here for this or?...”

Kyrano, who took a moment to register those words, eventually shook his head side to side while it still rested on Kayo’s shoulder, “N-No, Jeff, if it’s okay, I just need a moment with her so I can properly explain my actions. If you want, you can start packing some of her stuff to take home with you.”

The babysitter immediately backed off, hands up in a semi-surrender position, “Of course, do you know what I can get started on by myself?”

Kyrano softly took her hands into his, examining them by running his thumbs over her knuckles, thinking about what to say, “Basic toiletries, basic over-the-counter medications, some of her favorite snacks, you remember her favorite snacks, right?

The grass crinkled as Jeff walked away, his voice getting quieter and quieter due to distance, “You bet I do.”

Suddenly, she was alone with her father, who placed her hands against his chest. His breaths were shaky as he tried to find metaphorical solid ground, “Listen… I know things are changing fast and abruptly, and I’m sorry I can’t explain much of what’s happening, but you have to trust me, okay? You’re just changing houses, nothing more, nothing less. I’ll still be around often, and we’re still going to be father and daughter, you’re just going to be under the protection of Uncle Jeff, got it?”

Kayo was very quickly aware of a burning idea that hurt to think about, “Wait, are you in danger? If you’re in danger I don’t want to leave you! I can help you, Father!”

Kyrano was quick to cool the fury in her heart by placing his forehead against hers in their familiar form of comfort, “I know you can, but it’s not me that’s in danger, okay?”

And with that confession, her mouth snapped shut. She was always quick on figuring things out, and if her father wasn’t the one in danger, then that meant...

Kyrano couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his mouth. His daughter, despite the cold-hearted exterior she tried displaying, could be quite adorable when secretly prompted, “I know. It’s scary, it sucks, and I wanna keep you here just as much as you want to be, but this is for the best. Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself just for a little bit, hmm?”

Kayo swallowed whatever nasty emotion tried worming its way out of her throat as she also kept the few, tiny tears at bay in her eyes, preventing them from rolling down her face, “Okay, Dad, I trust you.”

Kyrano visibly relaxed at how quickly she agreed, “Thank you. Alright,” Kyrano boosted himself up from his knee, “Let’s go help Uncle Jeff pack.”

He held out his hand to her, which she took with a definite level of uncertainty.

After an hour, Kayo was packed and ready to become a resident in the Tracy household. Her dad gave her plenty more kisses goodbye on the level that she became secretly glad she was leaving. Dads and their overbearing need to smother will be the death of her.

As Kayo and Jeff drove to their destination, it was silent. Jeff drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to find something to say, while Kayo simply brought her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on top of them. Just because she knew how necessary this was didn’t mean she had to like it.

Finally, Jeff figured out his words, “You did hear him mention that he’ll visit you every week, right? You two are still going to be thick as thieves until your last dying breaths. You just won’t be in each other’s presence as much.”

Kayo didn’t hear him at first, and when her mind picked up that someone was trying to talk to her, she popped her head up like a surprised chipmunk, “Huh? Oh, yeah, he told me that.” And with it, her head fell back to her knees, and Jeff was lost once more.

That is until he was reminded of his kids. A sly grin formed on his face. His confidence was always boosted whenever his children were involved, “You know, I don’t know if I’ve even mentioned this, but I do have some of my own children at home.”

This time it took a lot less waiting for Kayo to pop her head up, “Really?”

Jeff nodded, relieved he found common ground between the two of them, “Yep. Five boys to call my own.”

Kayo leaned back into the backrest and hung her legs over the edge. Now she was sitting in the car seat as one would normally, “Whoah.”

Jeff chuckled. Kyrano wasn’t kidding about her being surprisingly adorably, “Just you wait, you’ll get along with them like peas in a pod.”

She absolutely did not get along with them like peas in a pod.

The first night was okay, fine. The older ones were nice as older siblings were when there was only one parent in the house, and the younger ones at least had enough manners to be considered quaint. But then the first night became the same as the next night. Then the next. The constant noises didn’t completely stop even after being there for a few days, signifying that this was normal in the family. The first time her father came over on the weekend she was begging to go home.

Kyrano felt sympathetic. He understood that Jeff’s boys could be a rowdy group, and that was from the stories the father told himself, but the threat was still looming, and all he could do was give empty words, “I really am sorry little bug, but my hands are tied. If you want, I could talk to Jeff for you? He is their father, he could set some temporary rules in place.”

Kayo sagged at his words, knowing he was right, but then sat up straight, “No, it’s okay. I can handle them. When they mess up they’ll learn the hard way why not to.”

Kyrano chuckled and took her into his arms, “Knowing you, those words aren’t just words. Don’t worry, just 28 more days, then the GDF will give me an update and you’ll be home safe and sound.”

Kayo counted them down one by one, tallies scratched into the wooden frame of the bed they gave her.

The 26th day was the day her uncle took Jeff’s life.

And everything was thrown off-kilter.

He came to pick her up on the 30th day, and she could tell things were different. He was jumpier, more careful about what they did. He never failed at his fatherly duties, but it was obvious he couldn’t be the same. She probably never was either. They had less fun, more prep work, he was constantly looking over his shoulder and she found herself doing the same with no protest. Her uncle, her family, destroyed everything she once knew in a way that would probably never be fully recovered. This point was even more blatant with the next big shocker of her life.

On the 67th day, her father went into retirement.

That was a sign the world was ending. Her father quit his job, the one that threatened to kill him more times than she understood at her age yet he stuck with it anyway because he loved it that much, he quit.

On the 1278th day, after years of trying his best, after multiple dropping offs of his daughter to Tracy Island (she probably spent half that time in the Tracy household, much to his chagrin) as he tried finding some kind of peace of mind, he succumbed to his demons. He gave her some lessons in self-defense over that time, but then he heard of another attack that was most likely caused by his brother and he just couldn’t. The thin wire snapped, and Kyrano didn’t trust his daughter to be safe with him anymore. He couldn’t protect his best friend from his brother, how the hell could he protect anybody else, how could he protect his child? Self-defense was useless against someone like his-- that man.

Kayo, who was just trying her best to still wrap her head around everything that had happened, over how one could potentially stop being related to someone, didn’t even try any kind of fighting back as her father took her right over to Tracy Island. He looked Grandma dead in the eyes with a face Kayo would never forget and said, “Jeff said he would always be willing to ‘pick up my slack’ so… please, keep her safe. Do what I can’t do.”

Being the mother she was, Grandma sadly grinned, “Of course, Kyrano, of course.”

That’s not to say he went off the radar or he never came to see her, he just wasn’t her main caretaker anymore. She was officially a permanent fixture in the Tracy family now, and she didn’t even have the headspace to worry about that. Hell, she was still recovering from her father’s retirement announcement.

This was the first time she learned what it was like to be truly and utterly hopeless.

It didn’t help that the rest of the Tracys were completely different as well.

She saw snippets over the years when her father went out on his meditation sessions, but now that she was going to be here forever, now that she couldn’t hide away like an anxious guest at a hotel, she was fully able to take in just how broken the Tracys were.

Like she was.

Scott and John were gone often, to the point where she only saw one of them at a time, almost never together. Virgil didn’t seemingly change much outside of certain hobbies and ways he handled things, though, she probably should have picked up on the fact that changing your personality was a big sign of trauma and untapped issues. Grandma Tracy was doing her best to accommodate her living situation into theirs, and Kayo will always be grateful for the elderly lady’s (mostly) stable state of mind throughout everything.

Then there was Gordon and Alan, who started leaving her alone.

They still did their pranks and jokes and couldn’t stop themselves if there was something ‘cool’ they wanted everyone to see, but they were more reserved, more quiet. Out of all the things she wished to stop happening, Gordon and Alan annoying her were on the top of the list, but when they did, it felt… weird. Awful.

The silence she craved since the first night her father sent her here was given to her on a silver platter yet she hated it and she didn’t even know why.

Nothing was making sense anymore.

And it continued to be senseless for the next few years to come.

The only thing she could latch onto to keep some kind of gravity to her life was the sentence her father told Jeff the day she came to the island. Watch out for her uncle. He was the reason everything was as messed up as it was, and the only people that rivaled her hatred for him was the Tracys themselves. As pessimistic as the thought was, at least she found something in common with them, and it made it easier for her to hide her true heritage in the end too.

The Tracy family was family oriented. She didn’t think she would have been welcome if they found out about certain relations of hers, not after what that relation took away from them.

(Well, if there was at least one thing she would happily admit to being wrong about in the future, she was glad it was that.)

Regardless, the years went on, and she became a proactive member of the family. Trying to compensate for the whole ‘secretly-related-to-evil’ thing and all that jazz. It was the least she could do for them since they were housing her. Learning more complicated self-defense, keeping watch over the island, helping Grandma with chores and other jobs around the house, and… hell, she found herself keeping an eye out for Alan more often than not. She wasn’t sure what it was, the older ones rubbing off on her, maybe Alan himself wormed his way into her heart, who knew?

As for the night everything started picking back up, it was… interesting.

She was minding her own business when she received a call from Scott, who she was very much aware should be packing for his trip to the mainland for next week with his Grandma. Those two had a conversation about plans for the future, and from bits and pieces Kayo picked up, Scott was on his way to becoming the newest CEO on the block, which she thought was an excellent position. Certainly made more sense than the Air Force in her eyes.

She picked up the call with a hint of playfulness, but right before she could point out that he should be picking out the right color shirt to match his eyes, she felt metaphorical cold water sploosh over her back as his panicked babbling slowly made sense to her ears.

“Alan’s gone!”

Around this time as well, Scott was in the house 24/7, and she knew the general details of why. Yeah, they gave her the vague story of things. She may have only been 16, but she wasn’t stupid. Her father was a military man, Jeff was a military man as well for Christ’s sake, she knew things where it counted. Alan never tried to figure out why, though, since he was just happy he could see Scott more often. Scott was happy too, everyone was, but the eldest was reserved. Careful with his interactions. As if whatever he touched shattered in his mere presence.

13-year-old Alan? Never really picked up on that until too late.

She got snippets from Scott over the call: he was in some kind of sour mood and did the logical thing and waited it out in his locked room (it really wasn’t that logical, but all the other options were worse so he took what he got). At some point, Alan had shown up outside his door (Scott found one of the kid’s toy cars right outside his door, as well as dirt tracks only Alan could leave) and tried to get the brunette’s attention. Except Scott was pretty out of it, trying not to snap any pens in half or God forbid punch a hole in the wall, so he never heard any of Alan’s attempts to get him to come out.

Oh yeah, Scott also knew it was Alan because he noticed a small sticky note on his door with the word ‘Sorry’ chicken-scratched onto it.

Alan took the silent treatment as his fault (hopefully not deserved, Scott was already feeling shit-tastic) and scampered off somewhere. Scott was going to find his younger brother and make things right and explain his actions, but then seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned into half-an-hour. Wherever Alan went to was a place Scott didn’t know existed apparently, and that just about made everything worse.

After nearly an hour of searching, he caved in and called for the only other help he had at the moment.

Which was her.

John was in space, and Grandma was out picking up Virgil and Gordon from their weekend off. Gordon got special tickets to something because of his gold-medal status, and Virgil was the obvious extra-ticket pick. On their way home, John would be picked up by the three of them as well. It was going to be one of the few fleeting moments they all were in the house at the same time.

Unless she and Scott got off their asses, that plan would be thoroughly jossed.

Taking a deep breath, she finally got a word in between all of his panicking, “Scott! Alright, I’m on the South-West side, so I’ll start looking here, okay? You keep searching the part you’re in and I’ll update you once I get somewhere else or if I find him.”

Labored breathing filled her ear before a rather large gulp cut it off, “Okay, sounds good.”

The call was cut and they haven’t been in contact since.

She wasn’t sure what part of the island she was on when she found him. Not usually her typical shtick, to panic without thinking, even if that panic was small, but regardless, she stepped onto a rocky part of the beach and looked around. She almost missed the mop of blonde hair sitting against the tallest one, absentmindedly staring off at the calm waves hitting the rocks further into the bay.

Making light steps, she eventually was able to sit down next to him a few inches away and watched the kid intently. She was quite familiar with the feeling of a thousand words wanting to spill out of your mouth at the same time, and she could clearly see it on Alan’s face, so she did the proper thing and waited for Alan to start.

When he did, she was caught off guard.

“I’m sorry.”

Wait, what? “What?”

Alan shrugged like it was obvious, “I don’t know. A lot of things. I wanna help out so much but whenever I do it seems like I just make it worse so that just leaves me to wonder what I need to change or if that would even matter in the long run… I just…”

As the blonde curled in on himself, still mumbling half-baked excuses (as if the kid thought he needed an excuse to feel shitty), a million thoughts hit Kayo at the same time, frying the gears in her brain with how they added up. Alan’s little display of low self-confidence reminded her of something she didn’t like to think about a lot.

She was… horrifyingly reminded of herself.

With it, she was already connecting dots between the two of them from the past few years of living together. Things like their tantrums (holy cow was she a stubborn child to her father sometimes), their eagerness to prove themselves for things that didn’t really need to be proven, their unhealthy need to lean towards silence when something is troubling them, now their seemingly poor viewpoints of themselves…

All she wanted to do was help Scott out, and so far all she was getting for it was a sudden identity crisis.

The gut reaction Kayo had was to deny it. How could she possibly have anything in common with Alan? Alan had a lot in common with Gordon, and she was the exact opposite of the second youngest. She was reminded of those transitive laws John was telling Alan about one day when it was the ginger’s turn to help with homework. A equaled B while B equaled C always meant A equaled C as well. A and B as Alan and Gordon respectively made sense, but if she was C? No sense at all, completely phony, not possible in the slightest. There were exceptions to every rule after all.

Besides, Alan had an ego to rival Gordon’s too, he never worried about things like ‘am I truly in the way or not?’. He was the youngest, the youngest never was in the eyes of good older siblings-- and the Tracys were good, good in ways she herself would probably never reach. She might have been an only child growing up but she read enough about proper family dynamics to know that.

But as the grief-stricken 13-year-old started to understand things not even some adults twice his age never fully learned right in front of her, she had to admit that the laws of physics were not to be trifled with. John was probably having a conniption over the mere thought of it. Knowing him, he felt a sudden chill for no reason because of her denial. He was weird like that. It also made her start to think about her relationship with Gordon. Maybe she held herself to too high of standards… or maybe even him.

Right, right, she should worry about the blonde in front of her. Didn’t Gordon have issues about his thoughts jumping around all willy nilly? That’s what she can at least start with when she gets there, but she should probably get there first, “Alan, look at me.”

The kid just shrunk further into himself.

This was troublesome, “Alan. Look up.”

She watched him blatantly shake his head no.

Okay, now it was exasperating. Not for the reasons she typically felt, though, it was annoying because a 13-year-old should not be shrugging off help like he was, that was the beginning of a bad habit, “Alright, Alan Tracy, you leave me no choice.”

Those words were just ominous enough for Alan to jump his head up from his knees in shock. Before he could blink the tears out of his eyes, Kayo was up in his personal space with her eyes wide due to a look of… hesitation?

Out of all the places she could have stopped, why did it have to be two inches away from his face? She wasn’t even sure why she was doing this. Sure, it calmed her down when her father did it, but her father was much more graceful about it, much more parental. If she wasn’t careful she might just give the child in front of her a headbutt right on the soft part of his face more than anything else.

Regardless, she was here, and she was on a roll with not making sense tonight. Besides, didn’t she just go over all the things they had in common? Surely this will work… hopefully. Potentially. At least a 60% chance. With a deep breath, she closed the distance and lightly placed her forehead on his. It might have been cliche, but when she saw how much he relaxed, she couldn’t help that feeling from washing over her too.

Alan, meanwhile, was strangely okay with this. It was new and weird, but it also felt… safe? Like Virgil’s hugs or Scott’s jackets, there was an air of warmth to this that Alan liked so he let it be to do whatever it was doing well. The knots in his chest were loosening up.

After awkwardly staring into Alan’s blue eyes for longer than she should, she finally figured out how to word all the emotions swirling around in her brain. It was short, it probably was only a short term fix, but at the time it worked like a charm, “I may not know a lot about things yet, but I do know that whatever you’re thinking will happen most certainly won’t. Scott isn’t angry or thought you were in the way. Honestly, he might be worried you’re not in the way enough. Trust me, Scott will just be happy to see you safe.”

Alan won’t be able to tell you what convinced him that night. Maybe her sincerity, maybe her touch, maybe he was just tired and the idea of seeing Scott again was enough to wake him up, but whatever it was, when Kayo stood up, he did too and walked right back home.

They made it back to the house right as the sun was coming up. Subconsciously gently taking his hand, Kayo made sure Alan trailed behind her a little bit. She never really figured out why, it’s not like there was anything to protect him from that night, but she still felt the need to do that. Eventually, they sauntered their way towards the kitchen, where she heard Scott rambling about his current grievances.

She froze momentarily at another voice replying to Scott’s panic.

“Scott, take it easy, it’s not like a 13-year-old could get that far anywhere on the island--”

“He shouldn’t be able to get anywhere on the island in the first place, John, that’s the point! God, why was I so fucking stupid in letting that happen? Here I thought the breathing exercises were working! Jesus--”

“Alright, first of all, if you don’t slow down I’m going to force you to do more of them, you’re practically turning purple, and second of all, this is fixable. It is, but it won’t be if you keep running around like a chicken with its head cut off. If it makes you feel better, we can call Virgil, Gordon, and Grandma back from their ‘big secret thing’ they scampered off to right as they got me home if you want. Kayo is also capable at what she does, you fricking called her yourself. Would you like to go for another round around the island?”

There were Scott and John. In the same room. At the same time. Kayo rubbed her eyes in an attempt to see if what was in front of her were just spots in her vision. Blinking away the tears that formed because of the action, she learned they weren’t. Huh, lots of things were new and different tonight.

Weird.

Scott shook his head, “No, from what you described, Gordon was excited, as well as Virgil and Grandma. This isn’t an emergency. Not yet. Let’s call Kayo. If she hasn’t found anything, we can go one more time.”

That was her cue to step in, “You know, I always wondered why Virgil said he couldn’t exactly describe what you two were like when you’re in ‘panic mode’, and I think I now see why. It’s pure chaos. Here, you worried lunatics.”

The oldest brothers jumped at the voice, and with the fury of a thousand suns, they looked over to her waist to see the ball of freckles they desperately wanted to see. Scott stood up and John turned his body to be faced to Alan, both of them taut. They took one step forward, and Alan flinched behind Kayo’s leg, which made them both falter and stop on the spot.

Slightly rolling her eyes, she kneeled down to Alan and placed her forehead against the kid’s as she did those minutes ago, “Alan, what did we talk about?”

Both Scott and John blinked at the way Alan seamlessly calmed down with the interaction. Holding their breaths, Alan took a deep one of his own and turned to look at them with newfound determination. Within the blink of an eye, Scott had a limpet attached to his legs and waist, holding him in place. It was very difficult getting down to the floor to hug him back without falling flat on his ass. Alan was holding his center of balance in one tiny spot, but if Scott has learned anything, it was how to work around four unruly younger brothers.

John, at some point, came to stand next to Kayo as they watched the scene before them. After a few seconds, Alan leaned out and sniffed, “I’m sorry, Scooter, for scaring you. I know I’m not supposed to run off without telling anyone where I went, no matter why I’m running off. I promise to not do it again.”

Scott let out a few wet chuckles and ruffled the kid’s hair, not worried about that anymore in the slightest, “Well, I’m glad you know to apologize for that, but I think I need to apologize for some things as well. I’m sorry I ignored you, okay? I didn’t mean to, and I promise to properly explain what happened in the morning when we’re not so tired.”

Kayo saw John grimace out of the corner of her eye. She never exactly figured out what in Scott’s statement he did so over.

Alan seemed to take it for the most part. Most part, being the key term there, “But I understand! Or at least some of it… Adults have adult things they need to do, which I shouldn’t have tried interrupting. Which is also why Grandma is taking you away to do that training of yours. You’re going to get another adult job like the one you had before, and you’re going to be gone because of that too, and that’s okay! I--”

Scott shushed him with a finger over his lip, “There are a few things wrong with that statement of yours, little bro. And thank you for pointing out my last job, there were a few things I did wrong with that too. I went weeks without calling any of you when I very easily could have, and with a job like that, I probably scared you all half to death. Trust me, Sprout, tonight was a good kick in the pants. Alright, I’ll at least explain this now: I’m going to handle my new job a little differently. Every day I’m off the island, I’ll be sure to send some kind of message, hopefully, a call, but a text at the least. Scout’s Honor.”

Scott did the familiar hand movement, signifying that the Scout’s Honor was in place and was not to be broken at any point. She never figured out how Scott did it. Knew what to say even if the comforting words seemed like they had nothing to do with the current topic at hand. After all, despite jumping from ‘not running off like that’ to ‘Scott’s new job’, she watched as Alan fully relaxed and leaned back into his big brother’s arms while said big brother melted all around him like a pile of protective goo. The scene was peaceful, and Kayo could feel herself tearing--

“GUYS! OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT?! I--”

And there it went.

Like a bomb, Gordon was suddenly in the area screaming about something. Right as his foot slapped the tile of the kitchen, he froze and read the room around him while breathing heavily. Looking down at a kneeling Scott hugging Alan, Gordon sobered up, “Oh. Hey Allie, didn’t you say you wanted to watch Jurrasic World at some point?”

As obtuse as Gordon could be, he was always the best at brightening up the situation.

About a fourth of the way through the movie, Gordon, Scott, and Alan were all clonked out in some weird pretzel on the couch. Virgil and Grandma were in the kitchen quietly thinking of what to get ready for Gordon (getting accepted into WASP while being a gold-medal athlete at the same time was no easy feat), so that left John and her to do everything but watch the movie.

Kayo barely registered John’s awkward coughing as an attempt to catch her attention. When he saw that it finally worked, he seemed to get embarrassed about what he was going to say, “So… that thing you did with Alan.”

Kayo blinked in confusion.

John quickly explained, “That forehead press? He was really comforted by that. I was just thinking… could you show us how it’s done? At least Scott and I, but if you could show Virgil and Gordon too that would be nice. I think Alan’s starting to form mine and Scott’s bad habit of panic attacks, so to have that gesture in our back pocket would help.”

Kayo thought about John’s words for a moment before shrugging, “Yeah, sure. My father taught yours how to do it so I don’t see why I can’t do something similar.”

The silence suddenly wanted to choke her. Suddenly looking over at John, she saw the ginger with wide eyes, “... Our dad? Why?”

Oh shit. Jeff was a sensitive subject in the house, and she tried her best to tiptoe around it until now. Especially when it wasn’t her father that was dead. Eh, she’ll hate pulling a tab from Gordon’s page in the future, but, “He wanted something special for Lucy since he wasn’t exactly the most graceful swan on the planet. My father did it with a lot of his friends he considered close, as well as my mother, so Jeff asked him the meaning behind it and viola. Your father was a slightly more refined person.”

Watching John blink a few times made her think she fucked up even more, but then he literally chuckled as he absentmindedly looked back towards the movie, “Yeah, ain’t that an understatement.”

She relaxed and copied his actions, the feeling of confidence washing over her like a warm blanket as her eyes graced the TV. She may not have fully been a Tracy, but she had to begrudgingly admit that she was too much like them for her own good. Jeff’s ‘peas in a pod’ statement was really coming back to bite her in the ass.

Gordon loudly snored from Scott’s lap, making both Kayo and John jump.

… Yeah, too much for her own good.

---

Fuse told her to run ahead and that was all she needed to start booking it down the compound towards Gordon and Virgil.

The map their uncle gave them was helpful, but it just emphasized how deep in shit they all were. Also, she had to admit she felt slightly bad. Once John convinced her that Fuse was really there to help and after she listened to their plan, maybe she should have fought it more as Scott and Gordon did. She was just so relieved to finally have something to go off of after nearly a month. When five boys left to get Jeff and only four came back…

Watch out for her uncle.

Fuse wasn’t expecting it either, so at least it wasn’t a planned trap. But still, it’s her job to prevent this shit. Not let the Tracys walk right into it.

Shaking her head, she refocused on getting to the two brothers currently closest to her position. She was part of IR, she was still good at rescuing too. It was just a small pinch in the back of her head. The only thing she wanted to do in life at the least was protect the Tracy family from anything else her uncle threw at them.

Heh, the irony.

Right before she rounded the corner, she heard something akin to ungodly screeching.

“You should have stayed dead!”

“We-hell, if there’s anything I’m known for, it’s being disappointing!” Cheeky laughter came next.

Well, that second voice was Gordon. But the first one was female, and that threw Kayo a little off. The voice was still familiar, but she was pretty sure Penelope was off getting the GDF to their location, and Grandma was back home making sure Jeff didn’t shoot out of his chair to come help them. Plus, ‘you should have stayed dead’ was something those two ladies would never say, let alone to a family member, so why did that voice sound familiar?

She took one step around the corner and--

“Havoc.”

The growl was out of her mouth before she could help it. Talk about a sight for sore eyes.

She stopped running and took in the view. Gordon was breathing heavily and grinning in that way that said he was terrified out of his mind. Behind him on the ground was Virgil holding his head. His breathing was labored too, albeit not as bad as Gordon. Considering the blunt object Havoc was holding, Kayo quickly figured out why Virgil got Alan to run.

The air must have been stuffy because as Kayo focused on her labored breathing, she watched the hacker also continue to breathe heavily, her eyes wide with craze. Kayo stomped her boot down promptly in between the boys and the nuisance in the room, “Gordon, get your brother out of here.”

Gordon blinked in confusion but then was on Virgil in a way that reminded the middle Tracy of Scott. Virgil, for once, was hoping Gordon would listen to his innate response to not follow orders. The musician’s hope was promptly squashed as he yelped when Gordon picked him up and supported him as they walked out of the room, “Hey! Gordon--”

Gordon was surprised at how easily he shrugged off Virgil’s protest. That’s probably why he listened to Kayo’s order to get him out so easily, “Yeah, yeah, save whatever you’re gonna say for the potential concussion, bro.”

Kayo could only listen as the two sauntered away, as Havoc tried leaping after them again, intent on finishing what she started. Kayo stopped the woman in her tracks with a kick, and now all of the anger was directed at Kayo herself. Good. She had some choice words for The Chaos Crew member in front of her, “You’ve made an awful amount of mistakes recently.”

The lady growled and lunged, which Kayo easily avoided. The hacker landed on her knees and looked up, “We’re they mistakes, or happy accidents?”

Kayo scowled even more, “I think you know what they were, and you liked it that way.”

Havoc shrugged, her grin becoming even wider, “Yeah, you’re right, they were wonderful accidents.”

Havoc was back on her feet and now it was Kayo’s turn to lunge. Kayo didn’t need to win, just waste enough time for everyone else to finish their parts of the plan, though, she would be lying if she said she didn’t feel satisfaction at going toe-to-toe with this lady.

She was pretty sure John was out of his mind like the rest of his family thought, but the more she saw Fuse in action, the more she understood the astronaut’s point of view. Fuse was smart when he wanted to be, if a bit oblivious, and there was no complaining about him giving them information about Alan’s whereabouts.

Plus… she was begrudgingly starting to see the appeal of Fuse himself. Of what he had been through. She was an older sister to a singular younger sibling too, maybe not the best one, but from what she was seeing, Havoc didn’t exactly rank up high on the list either.

As she continued to brawl with the lady-in-purple, she probably should have cooled her anger a little bit. The more she thought about Alan or Havoc and Fuse or her uncle or, hell, even the way Gordon and Virgil made their way to safety just a few minutes prior, the more she was reminded of how wrong this had all been, about how much more diffifcult life was made by idiots like Havoc and The Hood. How tired she was from all of it, which was another reason she should have taken a breather.

Long story short: it was making her more aggressive, less thoughtful of her next actions. She eventually started swinging without purpose, which Havoc was hoping to happen. She used an opening those actions created and knocked the female member of IR to the floor.

Suddenly, Kayo was pinned and the metal pipe was raised, and right as she closed her eyes and prepared to take the hit, a quiet voice spoke from a few feet away, preventing the hit from happening altogether.

“Sis?”

Both women froze, and both turned their heads ever so slowly at the new voice. Despite his size, Fuse was standing off in the shadows and looked incredibly small. Like she had almost been burned, Havoc jumped off Kayo and was standing up, eyes pleading for something Kayo wasn’t sure the hacker exactly wanted, “What? No, you got away! You ran! You’re not supposed to be here, it’s not--”

Kayo, who couldn’t find the energy to stand, watched with growing understanding. Watched Havoc’s wide eyes in contemplation, the woman’s panic slowly making sense. It was hard to imagine, but it couldn’t be anything else. Havoc was, in fact, scared for Fuse. He probably already pissed off The Hood, and Havoc was left to barely cool the flames lest she wanted a dead brother. Maybe that’s why she didn’t follow Fuse. She wanted to stay behind to make sure Fuse’s small chance of surviving was as big as it could be.

Huh, it was weird to think about The Chaos Crew in any other form outside of their established ‘chaotic’ selves, but maybe sibling dynamics were so powerful it was just a universal thing.

Maybe Kayo misjudged her actions like she did Fuse’s. Maybe Havoc wasn’t too bad of a sister.

Meanwhile, Fuse took her panic as anger. Betrayal. He left her behind, so of course, she deserved to be angry. He abandoned her after all, for a family they’ve been deadset on destroying for the past however long. But that was the other thing, wasn’t it? This family who he had hurt so many times before still showed him a level of decency he wasn’t aware was possible. A level of decency when siblings are allowed to be siblings and nothing else.

That’s what they thought they would get when they were persuaded by The Hood with his smarmy exterior, but now that he’s been helping out the Tracys, he realized The Hood was the exact opposite.

Despite his misunderstanding, what he said was exactly what his sister needed to hear.

With wide eyes, he looked directly at his only other family, “Camilla…” Havoc jumped, Fuse continued without hesitation, “We can be free, you know. The Mechanic got away. He’s safe on Tracy Island. I talked to him. He’s happy, we can be too, and it’s all thanks to them.” He gestured toward Kayo off to the side.

Meanwhile, the IR lady in question did what she did best: sat in silence and watched as Havoc slowly understood the situation, “... Really?”

Fuse started smiling, smiling, and Kayo had to blink before he spoke once more, “Yeah, we need to do some things and spend some time to make up for everything that we did, but it will be away from him, you know? It’s possible. I’ve seen it, experienced it, you can too. I promise.”

Havoc lost all of her edge at those words. Her insane exterior melted away into a woman who was finally realizing she didn’t have to fight anymore, that she was no longer backed into a corner, “Wow…”

Younger siblings. No matter the family, they always manage to leave their older siblings speechless.

Rolling her eyes and standing up, Kayo wiped off her pants and walked over to the entirety of The Chaos Crew. There was another younger sibling that needed to be found, “Alright, now that we got this out of the way, let’s make that pathway for the GDF. Fuse, you know what to do.”

Once Fuse registered Kayo’s words, the grin that overtook his face was no longer relaxed but giddy instead, “Come’ on, sis, you’ve said you wanted to learn how to do more of my stuff right?”

For some reason, Havoc’s grin was too, “Hell yes.”

As Kayo helped The Chaos Crew set up charges like John said to do, she also remembered another thing the ginger told her while they were preparing the last few things they needed to prepare before they went out on their big mission. He is the reason we’re probably getting Alan back. As an older sibling, it’s the least I could do for him. Little siblings, ours or not, always made us Tracys act rather irrationally.

Later, when Kayo saw Alan and Scott limp out of the hole The Chaos Crew made with and even worse looking Hood, she was also reminded of the fact of life that said John was always right.

Little siblings really do bring out the worst and best of you.

---

It only took a few nights before the obvious happened.

For once in her life, Kayo was asleep in her bed when unholy screaming filled the hallways of Tracy Island. It was autopilot with the way she threw her bedsheets off and was standing up, but she only realized what was truly happening when she reached her doorway. Alan. Instead of running and preparing to fight whatever was causing the distress, she was simply running to get to the location as fast as she could.

Now, everyone knew she was one of the fastest people on the island, it was her job, but even she had to admit that, no matter how much she loved these boys and vice versa, they would be better at the whole ‘need to comfort’ thing. At least in the form of hugs and kisses and shhshing nightmares away. She subconsciously knew to keep her strides slow and steady so her search-and-destroy mode wasn’t the first thing to be at Alan’s place of rest. Just like she wanted, when she reached the youngest’s room, John and Gordon were patiently waiting right outside while Virgil stood vigilant by Jeff to make sure the father didn’t collapse right then and there. That meant Scott was inside.

She was breathing heavily when she walked the last few feet to the family, “Any updates?”

Uncharacteristically so, John rubbed his hands over his face in defeat while Gordon was the one to explain what they knew, “No, not yet. Scooter’s in there trying to calm the flames.”

Speaking of which, there was a rather large thunk from inside the room. As the family jumped in shock, Alan’s door suddenly swung open, and as quick as it did that, it shut once more with a rather frantic Scott on the side with the rest of the family leaning against it. His hands were flat and shaking against the door, and his breathing verged on the territory of hyperventilation.

Kayo simply stared. Everything was being thrown off its axis tonight.

Again.

Gordon, who could be as tactful as his father (which was not at all), didn’t understand why Scott ran out of the room. Nobody did, but he was the only one who seemed to be willing to ask questions, “Scott, what the hell?! What’s wrong?!”

The brother in question closed his eyes, his fists clenching slowly against the closed door. He shakily exhaled as he opened his eyes to look his family in their faces, “L-Listen, I couldn’t stay in there, I j-just…”

Virgil, who was being reasonable and logical, simply stated other options like any other person would in a situation such as this one, “Scott, it’s okay if this sets off some bad memories. We might not have the magic touch you do, but we all have our own ways of calming him down. Maybe I can--”

Too bad all of his words hit Scott like a ton of bricks for each syllable, for each suggestion, “No! That’s not it, the rest of you will give him the same reaction, trust me,” his words left no room for argument, and suddenly, every throat in the hallway got dry.

Gordon needed to shut up, “What?! That doesn’t make any sense! If there’s anything that can help him right now it would be us!”

Scott’s shaking stopped. Now he was getting annoyed, but only because he didn’t want to drop the literal bomb on his family about why going to see Alan was going to make it worse, “Gordon, just believe me sincerely for once in your life”

John was trying to play the mediator like he always did, “Guys! Give Scott a second to explain, holy--”

Seriously, Gordon, knock it off, “Yeah, Scott, I wanna know why you think leaving our baby brother to his demons is such a good idea!”

Jeff, who Kayo suddenly remembered was there, finally gave his two cents, “Please stop yelling, we already had one family member scream tonight, let’s not make that number bigger.”

The idea of hitting Gordon over the head with a chair was very thrilling all of a sudden, “I won’t if Scott pulls his head out of his ass!”

Virgil had his hands up in a surrender position, “Jesus, I’m sorry I said anything.”

Really, just a good whack would do Gordon some good, “No, you were absolutely right in suggesting it, so now why--”

The voices were becoming like nails on a chalkboard even to Kayo, so God knew what torture they were for Scott. She watched Scott intently, waiting and hoping that when the straw on the camel’s back broke the explosion wouldn’t be too hard to clean up.

When it happened, she was so caught off guard by what Scott eventually blurted out that she could no longer even begin to think about metaphorical mops or hazmat suits.

“Goddammit, you want an explanation?! It was because he was scared!”

The rest of the brothers jumped at the confession. While their eyes were still wide, Scott let out a breathy curse and explained further, “He was scared of me. The more I was in there, the worse he got, okay? I’m sorry, but after everything that happened, I think he’s just going to react similarly to you guys because...” Another curse. Scott closed his eyes and moved his head so his face faced the floor.

The rest of the family immediately became downtrodden. Dammit dammit dammit. This was to be expected, but it didn’t fucking hurt any less. They were all generally aware of what The Hood put Alan through, so they had been way more reserved with their comforts than they would have been at any other time, but the fact that this was going so far as to completely prevent that same comfort after an awful night terror...

Gordon, who was too much like Alan when it came to handling shock, metaphorically grasped at the air, “But we can’t just leave him to suffer. He just woke up the ocean border of every country around us with how loud his screams were! We can’t-- he--”

Kayo, who was not a sentimental person at heart, found herself gently speaking for once in her life, “Do you… Do you think he used me?”

The brothers blinked, telling Kayo: Huh, we’re not sure.

Taking a deep breath, Kayo started towards the door, Scott reluctantly moved out of the way, and right as her hand graced the edge to open it, “Wait, Jeff, what about you? You are his father after all.”

The oldest four sons suddenly looked at him with faces that said she has a point. It would only be fair for him to have a shot as well. But before any of the sons could help Kayo’s argument, “Well, I was wondering that too, but then you suggested yourself first before anything else and I realized you, Miss Tanusha, had grown a soft spot. I don’t want to get in the way of that now do I?”

Blushing at all of their grins (the assholes, why did she like this family again), she abruptly looked back at the door, took a deep breath and descended into hell. A few of her spirits were lifted as she listened to Gordon apologize to Scott as she shut the door. She couldn’t stop the grin that fell over her face at Scott’s reassurance even if she wanted to either. We’re too much alike when we want to be, buddy, I get it.

With the door fully shut behind her, she lost her grin, exhaled that deep breath she took, looked up to fully take in the room and wasn’t sure what broke inside her first at the sight.

Curled on the floor on the other side of the bed to the doorway was a bundle of trembling sheets. From the way there were none left on the bed, Kayo quickly assumed what that large thunk was from earlier. She hoped the rest of the brothers paid attention to Scott right now. He was probably in shambles after what he must felt like he caused.

Her shoulders deflated as she carefully trotted over closer. Making sure there was at least half-a-foot between them, she kneeled in front of the pile of sheets and thought about what to say first. It took her a minute, but once she saw those trembles die down ever so slightly, “Alan, do you need me to get you anything?”

A flinch from the pile, but she held steady. After what felt like a million years, she watched as a familiar mop of blonde poked its head out from the sheets. Along with it, blue eyes and freckles for days came back to the land of the living. Was her sigh of relief obvious? She hoped it wasn’t.

Watching Alan melt into the dresser behind him with his sheets still wrapped about his shoulders, Kayo took the opportunity to sit criss-cross-apple-sauce in front of him and continue to wait silently. Suddenly, Alan closed his eyes but also started... grinning? Huh. Blinking once, she watched as Alan’s hands came out from under the bedspread and started moving, Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?

Her father already had her learning sign language because of her deaf maternal godmother, so when the boys asked her if she knew any she was one step ahead.

She too couldn’t stop the grin that fell over her face. Even after screaming his lungs out, Alan was still Alan, “I suppose I could say the same for you, you know. I was worried I would have to get a shovel to dig you out of that pile for a minute.”

Alan opened his eyes to look directly at her green ones and relaxed even more. As he sat up straighter, the sheets on his shoulders fell off just a little bit, almost symbolically representing the way a butterfly comes out of one’s cocoon, Yeah, that would’ve sucked. So, where’d you chase your creepy uncle off to? He never had the balls to be you, probably worried he didn’t have the finesse to play a woman, so--

Kayo flinched momentarily at the question in the first part of his statement. It was very small and brief, but it was certainly enough for Alan to get the picture.

Alan’s eyes widened in panic, and Kayo could clearly see what kind of thoughts were violently swimming around in his head. Oh God, that’s right, I’ve been saved, which meant that wasn’t The Hood, that was-- sugar honey iced tea, what the heck did I do?!

Kayo would be lying if she said she didn’t start panicking at the sight of Alan’s panic. Way to go. You’re doing the exact opposite of what you came in here for, idiot. The only thing that kept her grounded was the fact that Alan was on the verge of passing out, making her brain function due to the need to prioritize. Your self-deprecation was below the need to make sure Alan stayed calm, for all that it stung.

For once in her life she found herself taking a shot in the dark by placing her hand gently on his shoulder, ignoring the minor flinch he made at the contact, “Alan, it’s going to be alright, they understand that y--”

Suddenly, Alan jumped away from her contact and slightly thumped his head against the dresser behind him once more, making Kayo wince. During that whole process, Alan was shaking his head in denial and pulling the sheets tighter around him once more. Like a baby swaddling itself in its blanket. Again, Alan wasn’t signing anything, but Kayo could read his emotions loud and clear. That’s still not okay! I’m not scared of him, I’m not, yet I still flinched and jumped away from him like he was the one that continuously hurt me for the past month. They’ve been working their butts off to save me, and they did, they’ve given up so much for me and I can’t thank them without flinching or crying like a child.

As she was reading his eyes for the last sentence, he just had to go and sign it himself, Why did The Hood have to ruin me? Wasn’t I already bad enough?

John occasionally mentioned how Alan felt out of place in the rest of his family, and Gordon, Scott, and even Virgil, who was the most asinine about following protocol to a T, always cautioned her about being a little loose with the way Alan acted sometimes, but to see it so blatantly tonight tore her chest every which-a-way. It was a thing she was aware of, she had seen snippets throughout the years (their beach conversation being the worst, or, used to be now), but she selfishly hoped she never would see it when it was this bad...

Well, she had to admit that she’s never been the most tactful person. Gordon, eat your heart out.

Getting up on her knees, she shoved herself into Alan’s personal bubble, firmly placed her hands on his shoulders and made him look her directly in the eyes, “Alan Tracy, you have a grave misunderstanding of the current situation.”

The boy’s eyes widened, and before he could do anything else, Kayo continued, wondering where in the world her words were coming from, “All of you boys have been damaged in ways that won’t be overcome with a song and a dance. Your family is going to feel like shit, you are going to feel like shit, there will be emotional and animalistic reactions none of you can help after such events, even I’m guilty of them, but that’s… okay.”

Alan slowly blinked at her hesitation, suddenly aware of certain weaknesses he wasn’t sure Kayo had. She inhaled through her nose and her serious demeanor was back, “You all have insecurities that I can’t address, mainly because I’m bad at doing that for my issues as well,” Alan snorted, “But that’s okay. What The Hood didn’t wasn’t good, and you’re going to feel his wrath years after the fact, hell, there’s a chance you’ll never truly get over his words,” believe her, “But we also have ways to, not ignore it per se, but make it easier to have such hurtful lies ring around our brains. Your answer, and maybe mine as well, is the incredibly stupid, incredibly stubborn, and incredibly headstrong family waiting outside that doorway to make sure you’re okay.”

Remembering exactly how she taught these boys so long ago, Kayo gently but surely placed her forehead against his, “You boys have ridiculous amounts of love to last for days, and if I didn’t love you all as much as you love each other, I would hit every single one of you every time you lost sight of it. Believe me, Alan, that’s a lot of bruises.”

Leaning back like a gust of wind, she waited and watched as the flabbergasted look on Alan’s face slowly morphed into contemplation. After holding her breath for longer than necessary, she exhaled as she watched Alan’s hands form the words she wanted to hear, Could you… get Scott for me? I wanna say some things to him. Tonight.

With a cheeky smile, she boosted herself up on her knee and started walking out of the room, “Sure thing, Alan.”

She was pretty sure he watched her leave until she got out into the hallway and shut the door. Once she was there, she was met with five pairs of beady eyes, probably expecting something worse than what she had. With a sigh, she looked at Scott, “He wants to see you again.”

Scott jumped while the rest of the men relaxed in some way shape or form. When their motions were done, Scott’s shoulders sagged too. As Kayo moved out of the way to trade places with Scott he like did for her earlier, she quickly laid her hand upon his shoulder to catch his attention for one last word, “If the first thing that comes from his hands is “I’m sorry”, please do me the utmost favor and smack him for me.”

Blinking, Scott registered her words with a smile, “Don’t worry, it’ll be for all of us.”

With a nod, Scott was inside the room once, and the rest of the family finally and fully relaxed. Now then, her hands were on her hips, “Alright, unless you boys want to sleep out in the hallway, it’s off to bed with you all.”

The rest of the brothers (and Jeff, who was supposed to be in his 50s for Christ’s sake) widened their eyes and opened their mouths like fishes in the process of objecting. Clearly, they were willing to spend the night out in the hallway, though, she should have expected that of them. With an aggressive sigh, she stopped them in their tracks, “Unless you want Alan to feel any more guilt over things he shouldn’t feel guilty about, you should avoid the cricks in your necks while you can.”

Watching them wince, she figured she won.

After a few minutes along with some last goodnights, the boys were off to their rooms in the hope that they would find even just a little more sleep after tonight. All except for two, Virgil and Jeff, which Kayo watched as the former struggled to support the latter, exhausted with previous events. Suddenly, another seemingly out-of-character idea hit Kayo, and once again, she didn’t mind following it.

While she may not have had as much muscle mass as him, Virgil did comment once that she was just as strong as he was, “Virgil, go to bed. I can get your father to his.”

Virgil blinked, and before he could utter a word out, Jeff spoke for him, “Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. You need sleep, Jack, don’t try and fool these old eyes.”

With a playful roll of his eyes, Virgil played ‘pass the dad’ with Kayo. As soon as his father was off of his shoulder, he threw his hands up in the air. He was down the hall and facing the other direction when they heard him shout, “For the last time, I was not a beanstalk, I was reasonably skinny! Reasonably!”

Kayo and Jeff were left to chuckle as they slowly made their way to the father’s room. About halfway there, Jeff glanced over to Kayo with what was supposed to be a simple question, “So, how’s Kyrano?”

Kayo thought she would flinch at the mention of her father, but instead, she simply tilted her head and blinked as she considered the question, “He’s relatively okay. His retirement has been treating him well, at least.”

She noticed his grimace the word ‘retirement’ but stayed quiet as he began to talk, “Ah, I guess he would’ve taken my absence pretty hard. His favorite part was working with me, or more specifically, trying to one-up me. I couldn’t even get him to go home when he was running a fever, you know.”

Kayo rolled her eyes, very much aware of her father’s friendly rivalry with Jeff and how far he took it, “Well, I think he’ll have to surrender this time. Coming back from the dead would be considered too crazy. Even for him.”

Jeff chuckled, knowing she was right, “Finally pulled one over on him. Who would’a thought the day would come.”

Kayo, right before they delved into silence once more, stated something with no room for argument, “I should take you to see him. He would appreciate the surprise.”

Jeff sought no reason to argue in the first place, “I think I would appreciate that as well.”

It was a quiet trip back to his room from then on. He left the door slightly ajar, so it was easy for her to kick it open gently. As she brought him over to his bed, she gandered around the room to look at the new objects strewn about. No longer a bedroom from a magazine advertisement, it was finally more personalized. Different types of shoes were strewn about the ground, including a pair of ugly slippers, the color of the area no longer a dull grey-green but more of a deep maroon, and the small work desk in the corner had a few pictures laid atop it as well.

Most of which were his family and kids. Kayo would later deny blushing at the one of her and Gordon sparring.

She knew Mrs. Tracy took pictures that day, and she must have given Jeff that one when the father asked for some from the eight years of his disappearance

So caught up in the moment, she didn’t think as she gently set Jeff down on top of his covers, cleared her throat, and walked out of the room without a word. That was before his voice rang out in the room, stopping her in her tracks.

“Hey, Kayo?”

She stopped right in his doorway, throat tight with emotion as she looked back at him, “Yes, Jeff?”

His vision flickered around the room in uncertainty. “Thank you,” he finally said, voice husky with something Kayo wasn’t willing to describe, “For keeping them safe.”

Kayo, still looking over her shoulder, formed one of the tiniest grins imaginable, “Of course, someone had to make sure their dumbasses didn’t do anything drastic. Your mother and Lady Penelope could only do so much. Goodnight, Jeff.”

As Jeff laid back down, his shoulders sagged, “Goodnight, Kayo.”

With that, the bedroom door became shut, yet the future became wide open with millions of possibilities.

For once, Kayo looked forward to that uncertainty.

[what-the--curtains]

Braving the Elements

Chapter 13: To Russia with Love

TW: Swearing

Song(s)

Keep it Comin Love - KC & The Sunshine Band (song playing on radio when they drive to hotel)

Cold as Ice - Foreigner (Just for the overall chapter, its cold i had too!)

Authors note: I know its from russia with love but I liked this one better!

You're sitting in the living room filing your nails and minding your own business when you’re called into the meeting room.

“Alright everyone suit up, we’ve got the locates on his houses! Luckily, it looks like Roman hasn’t flown anyone into any of the countries recently so we can assume that they’re empty. That being said, once you arrive at your destinations you’re still expected to stake them out for the first two days, if there’s no activity on the second day you can place cameras around the location and hook them up to the systems we’ve provided you with. If nothing happens, if no activity is detected, then you’ll get the go ahead to move into the house and get those files. If at any point you suspect someone is watching you, or that you’ve been made, inform SHIELD and get out as soon as possible. Everyone got it?” Tony pauses to see if anyone has questions.

“Good! We’ve split everyone into teams. Myself and Peter will be going to Hawaii, Sam, you and Clint will be heading to Italy. Wanda and Vision you’ll go to Sweden, leaving the rest of you to Russia.”

“Why so many in Russia?” Sam asks.

“Frankly, it’s more likely he has eyes there, so safety in numbers.”

“How did you pick where people are going, I mean really Tony why do you get to go to an island paradise?” you complain. You were not the type of person who enjoyed frigid temps.

“Well, because I’m in charge so I get to decide.” He says smugly before leaving.

“Well it was really great working with you all, but I have to quit because I refuse to freeze to death in the Siberian wilderness!” you say throwing your hands in the air and slowly sliding down your chair

“Oh c’mon it won’t be that bad!” Sam say laughing

“Says the boy who gets to go to ITALY.” You say emphasizing every syllable of the last word.

“Who’s the drama queen now!” he retorts, causing you to sit back up in your chair and stop complaining. After wallowing In self-pity for a few more minutes you get up and go pack before getting in one of the team's jets with Nat, Steve and Bucky.

Day 1

The jet lands deep in the Russian wilderness in the early hours of the morning. You’re met by a group of agents who hand over keys to a truck which you all pile into.

“Jesus fuck its cold here. Who has a holiday home in Russia anyways?” you ask, leaning forward to turn up the heat from the back seat.

“It's actually pretty beautiful here in the summer, but you're right it is way too cold right now!” Nat responds, rubbing her hands on her thighs to warm them up.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad, I don’t hear Bucky complaining” Steve chimes in,

“Ya, easy for you to say! You two have super serum making you hot!” You retort.

“Aw you hear that Buck, she thinks we're hot” Steve says, pretending to be flattered.

“Oh shut up Steve I’ve seen your bare ass.” You respond, causing Bucky to snort and Nat to shoot you daggers.

“ Can’t you control the elements make some fire or whatever” he says

“Firstly, that’s not how it works and secondly, engulfing my body in flames isn’t exactly a solution if you ask me.” Although you had contemplated it briefly.

You pull into a small hotel on the outskirts of town at around noon.

“Alright, stakeout rotation, Y/N and Nat you're up first, we’ll get everyone checked in while you’re out.” You and Nat drive the truck out to Romans house, parking it in the driveway of the neighbouring cabin. The two of you move to the back seat and pull out your binoculars zooming in on Romans place. It was a large wood cabin approximately three stories with glass windows facing south. The upper stories have balconies gazing out onto the lake and overlooking the front porch. It was one of many luxurious cabins along the private lake.

“You want me to light the car on fire?” you ask Nat after a few minutes and she seems to contemplate it for a second before muttering a No.

“So how was that night with Steve? We never really talked about it.” you ask

“He hasn’t really spoken to me about it either, I think he’s embarrassed, or awkward or both.” She says looking slightly hurt.

“I mean me and Bucky did kind of see his dick that night maybe that’s why he’s being so weird?” you offer.

“You guys saw it?” She exclaims.

“We didn’t mean too but you guys were half naked in the kitchen it just kinda happened!” you respond defensively.

“Ugh, remind me to never go clubbing with you again it leads to terrible choices!” she says burying her head in her hands.

“He was that bad hey?” you laugh

“Shut up, that’s not what I meant,” she says hitting your arm.

“I know I know, I mean he’s from the past so he’s probably just no use to the concept of sleeping with someone before marriage. So he was good then?” you ask, pressing her for details

“Oh ya he got the hang of what I wanted very quickly, and you’ve seen his dick..” she trails off before continuing. “What about you and Barnes can’t say I was convinced when you told me you hadn’t just fucked in the living room.”

“Nothing.” You say she gives you a side eye “Really! Some kids threw a glass bottle at him, well at me, he just got in the way. So I was cleaning him up.”

“Whatever you say.” She smirks. You let Nat take a nap for the rest of the watch knowing she had a long night ahead of her.

Steve relieves you around 1am and you return to the hotel shivering unable to feel your face. The only thing on your mind is getting in the shower and getting a few hours of sleep before you have to go back into the freezing temperatures. You bump into Bucky on your way in and ask where the rooms are. He leads you up to the third floor and he shows the two rooms, you and Nat were in one room with a single queen bed and Steve and Bucky were down the hall with two double beds.

“Hey no fair why do we have to share?” you ask, looking up at him.

“That’s what you get for taking first watch.” he replies snarkily.

“God you suck sometimes!” you say shoving past him into your room.

“I can do more than that if you want” he replies, leaning in the doorway.

“Get outta here Barnes” you say pushing him out of the room “I gotta shower i’m frozen!”

“Alright, well i’m just next door if you need anything” he says, grinning as you close the door in his face. You manage to get a few good hours of sleep before being woken up around 12pm by Nat starting the shower in your shared room.

Day 2

“How was the watch?” you ask her, letting out a yawn.

“Interesting.” She said with a slight blush forming on her cheeks

“Oh my god tell me!” you say throwing a pillow at her. She tells you how her and Steve had been really flirty, and that he had even given her his jacket to stay warm when he had noticed her shivering.

“So cute I may puke.” you respond, rubbing your eyes. “Anyways the boys stuck us with the shared bed.”

“Well, I say we do something about that,” she says, pulling Steve’s room key out of the jacket he had lent her. The two of you proceed to break into their room and move all their stuff out and all your stuff in.

“That’ll show them” you both high five before flopping down onto the beds and falling asleep. Your alarm goes off at midnight. You get up and dress yourself in your warmest clothes and head out to relieve Steve.

“Hey Steve, you're all done.” you say scooting out of the harsh cold of the morning and into the slightly less frigid car. The sun hadn’t risen yet making it a good 10 degrees cooler than when you had been there yesterday afternoon.

“Any movement?” you ask

“None so far.” Bucky responds “how rich was this?”

“God if zillionaires existed he was that for sure.” you say wrapping your arms around yourself to maintain body heat.

“So that’s how he kept you around so long.” he remarks.

“Well it wasn’t his kind and nurturing demeanour.” You state. It was too early for talking or thinking so you both sat there in silence staring at the cabin. After the first few hours you couldn’t feel your hands or feet or face. Using your lighter you make a small ball of fire in an attempt to warm yourself up but to no avail.

Bucky glances from his binoculars to you, back to the house then quickly back to you again realizing that you were looking colder by the second. With the watch not over for another 8 hours Bucky knew he had to do something.

“Look, this isn’t a move, but you're about 5 minutes away from becoming a human popsicle and seeing as I’m basically a human furnace…” he trails off realizing the confused look you were giving him. “Well what I’m saying is that I can keep you warm”

“I bet you say that to all the girls freezing to death.” you retort, staying in place feeling slightly stubborn and like you had to prove something to him. Or maybe it was because you didn’t want to get too close to him, afraid of how it might make you feel.

“Seriously,” he says, with a small chuckle “if you die I think Wanda and Nat will execute me”

“I’m fine” you mumble

“No you aren’t. Just come here” he says pulling you onto his lap with ease.

“Jesus you are warm.” you say as you curl up into him. He wraps his human arm around you knowing it’ll be warmer for you and uses the metal ones to hold up the binoculars. He feels your hands moving absentmindedly over his chest. He laughs “Are you feeling me up doll?”

“Well let’s just say I get why so many ladies love you.” you respond

“What? It isn't my shining personality?” he asks, almost offended.

“The only thing shining about you is your arm.” you say with a laugh.

You two stay like until you’ve warmed up enough to go back to your seat. You two wait until you reach the 48 hour mark before heading into the yard to set up the cameras and returning back to the hotel.

[thechildoflightning]

Tectonic Plates- Ch2

Title: Tectonic Plates [Masterpost]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: None

~~~

Chapter Title: Convergent

Summary: 

Patton visits the doctor, gets ice cream with his siblings, and works on the group project. It's a lot more stressful then it seems.

Warnings: Memory Loss, Tics, Racism, Ableism, Dead-Naming

[ao3 link]

~~~

Chapter Two: Convergent

“Hi Patton,” the doctor greets, and he notes how she doesn’t even have to glance down at her sheet to remember his name. He’s here often enough.

“Hi,” he responds.

She starts with basic questions and Patton answers as normal. He’s already been asked the same by the nurse who came to check his blood pressure earlier.

“So you’re having larger memory gaps?” she finally gets to.

“Yeah,” Patton agrees, “Sometimes more than an hour long.”

“How often is that happening? And how long on average?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, and looks over at his mom. She has his journal out, and the stats ready to go.

“About once every week, averaging about fifty minutes that we’ve noticed,” she responds. The doctor nods and makes a note.

“Okay. And describe these gaps to me a bit more. Do you remember anything during that time?”

The conversation carries on, Patton and his mom receiting medical information as the doctor tries to piece together what’s going on.

“I think from here I’m going to order a blood test, a CT scan, and an EEG,” she tells them.

“That uh, seems like a lot,” Patton comments.

Holy shit his brain is really fucked up isn’t it?

“What are all those for?” his mom asks.

“Well these larger memory gaps are concerning- and considering we haven’t seen them in you before, Patton, I want to get a blood test to make sure we’re not overlooking any infections. The MRI we’ve down before and with that we’re looking for any noticeable changes in your brain. I also want an EEG, and this one specifically to track electrical ability in your brain to see if this is maybe the result of seizures.”

“You think I’m having seizures?” Patton asks.

“To be completely honest Patton- we don’t quite know what’s going on. We know your history of memory issues and loss is linked to you contracting meningitis at such a young age. Memory loss with meningitis isn’t unheard of. It does concern me that this seems to be getting dramatically worse, especially over a recent short period of times. That’s why I’m calling for these tests. And I do think there’s a potential that this new form of memory loss is in fact seizure activity, which you are also at increased chances of having due to meningitis. Hopefully these tests will allow us to get a clearer picture of what we’re looking at, so we can better deal with the issue on hand.”

That meant that they don’t know anything now.

And if they don’t know anything now, after sixteen years, that probably meant they weren’t ever going to know.

It’s one thing to adjust to new medical information, to get used to gaps in time and increased memory loss with results guiding them, tell Patton what was happening. 

It’s a whole different thing to have to get used to that without any further information, completely lost, stumbling through the dark.

Patton thinks he probably shouldn’t be wishing for a reason. Because a reason means something’s wrong with him. But, he already knows something’s wrong. At least a reason would explain that. Is it so bad to want a reason?

They set up the blood test, CT, and EEG appointments. Patton gets to go home after. He doesn’t feel up to homework, so he takes his binder off and lays down to take a nap. He’s so tired.

Of course, those plans are quickly foiled by his phone buzzing on his bedside table.

Patton groans but sits up carefully and reaches for the object. He opens it and reads through the texts.

It’s from a person named Sabrina, in a group chat, but Patton doesn’t know of any Sabrina’s. He scrolls up through past texts and quickly finds his answer. He’s in a group project with these kids for a class. 

He sighs and gets up to get his notebook for the class.

With the notebook now in hand he sits at his desk with it and his phone.

Sabrina has sent a long list of things they each need to do, spelling out each of their work in the project in exact detail. Patton’s a bit frustrated that she didn’t even bother to ask his input on what he wanted to do, but quickly brushes it off. He understands that it probably has to be incredibly frustrating to be in a group with him. Patton works at almost half the speed and has to constantly check with partners that they’re on the same page.

It’s- he wishes she would have asked him. It would have been nice. But he gets why she didn't. It isn’t a big deal.

He opens up his computer next to his notebook, and starts to work. He has the spoons to do work today, might as well.

Not much later, the door swings open and the dog starts barking, alerting Patton to the fact that his younger siblings are home. He can hear Liam chattering loudly and greeting the dog even as Dani stays silent at his side. Patton listens to their fading voices with a fond smile.

Except, their voices aren’t actually fading as they go up to their respective rooms. Instead, they’re getting closer, and suddenly there’s an excited knocking on his door.

“Eileeeeen,” Liam sings, “Can we come in?”

The use of his deadname twists in his stomach for a minute. He knows Liam doesn’t mean it, they’re all learning. Patton still finds him misgendering himself on occasion. 

Even so, it still hurts.

He could correct Liam. It’s just- Patton doesn’t want to make him feel bad. Plus it takes effort and it’s-

“Door’s open,” he replies, ignoring his thoughts.

Liam and Dani tumble in.

“Pat!” Liam says, zooming over to where Patton sits at his desk. He does a little bounce. “Can I give you a hug?”

“Course,” Patton responds, grinning down at his little brother easily, “Just be gentle please.”

Liam nods and embraces him, being especially careful around his back. Patton remembers how much he loves him as he holds him close.

“So? What’s up with the two of you?” Patton asks when Liam breaks the embrace.

“Me and Dani had an idea!” Liam announces.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Liam agrees, “We thought the three of us and Blythe could go out for ice cream!”

“It was Liam’s idea,” Dani quickly affirms, as if somehow trying to get out of going out for ice cream.

“Yeah it was!” Liam’s quick to agree, “Because Dani did really well on her math test today!”

Dani’s cheeks instantly turn red and she ducks her head.

“Liam,” she hisses out, “You said you wouldn’t say anything.”

“You did?!” Patton exclaims, “Dani that’s awesome!”

“It’s only because you sat and helped me,” she grumbles, “I couldn’t figure it out myself.”

“I barely helped,” Patton and insists, “and either way, you did it yourself on the test. And it’s not a bad thing to need help.”

Dani ducks her head again and continues to blsh vibrantly.

“So can we go for ice cream?” Liam pushes.

“Go get Blythe and we can,” Patton tells him. 

Logan immediately leaves Patton;’s side, sprinting out of his room and upstairs to locate Blythe, shrieking all the way.

Dani rolls her eyes at Liam’s actions.

“Hey don’t roll your eyes,” Patton teases, “Who was it that tried to sled down the stairs in a bucket of stuffed animals?”

“Patton!” she groans, “That was one time!”

“And who is it that helps Liam wake up everyone with ear-piercing screeches on Christmas morning?”

“Ugh!” she groans, and storms out of the room, but the small smile on her face doesn’t escape Patton’s notice.

Patton stands to put on a bra before following her out of his room. He meets her in the living room just as Blythe and Liam are coming down the stairs.

“I- huh- heard we’re getting ice cream apparently- ah?” she says.

“I guess so,” Patton agrees.

She sighs, smile also fond if a bit exasperated, and herds them all to the car.

Patton forgets the ride there. He writes himself a note and pulls Blythe quietly aside to inform her so he doesn’t forget to add it to his log.

Liam leads the way to the ice cream parlor and he’s about to race the final stretch to the door when a woman stops Dani.

“Are you okay?” she asks, peering intentionally at Dani.

Patton’s big brother instincts step in full speed, he scans Dani over looking for any signs of harm, physical, emotional, or otherwise.

But Dani just seems confused.

“What, yeah I’m fine?”

The woman purses her lips and leans down to whisper- though it’s plenty loud enough for Patton, Blythe, and Liam to hear.

“Do you know these people?” she asks, eyebrows knitted in tense concern as her eyes scan the three of them warily. Patton feels his stomach sink. Blythe takes a half step to the side to block Liam from view.

Dani looks outright murderous.

Patton internally begs her to think before she speaks.

“Yes,” she says, “I’m getting ice cream with my siblings. I’m fine.”

The woman blinks.

“Oh these are your siblings? But you’re…” she trails off, but all of them knew what she was going to say. White. Dani’s white. Blythe, Patton, and Liam aren’t. 

“Bye,” Dani says coldly, and turns away.

The woman mutters something and leaves. 

Exactly after, Blythe shakes her head with a suppressed tic and her arm follows. She lets out a loud yelp and immediately slams a hand over her mouth as she turns to watch the still retreating women in fear. She doesn’t turn around. Blythe takes her hand away. Liam’s smaller one clings onto it.

Besides Blythe’s tics, they’re all silently frozen for a minute.

“Hey Liam,” Dani asks, “What ice cream are you going to get.”

Liam looks up at her and pushes a smile back on his face.

“I dunno,” he says, and his cheerfulness only seems a little bit forced, “There’s so many choices. There’s strawberry but I also really like chocolate, but the sherbet is so pretty. Oh! And the cotton candy made my tongue turn blue once! That was fun!” he rambles, and the four of them continue towards the store.

Liam, predictably chooses rocky road. He almost always does, no matter how often he talks about all the other flavors. Patton doesn’t really get it. He gets cookie dough this time.

Patton’s knee is starting to hurt, so he takes his ice cream and herds his siblings to a table as Blythe pays.

“How’s your day been?” Blythe asks at one point when Dani is busy scowling at Liam as he tries to convince her to play a game with him.

“Eh,” Patton admits, because Blythe he’s always been able to be honest around, “Doctor went fine, but was frustrating. Same thing as always- they have no clue what’s going on. But I’ve had a surprising amount of spoons today which has been nice.”

“Spoons,” Liam speaks up, “But you only have one?” He stares in confusion at Patton’s spoon in his ice cream.

Patton smiles at him.

“Yeah. This is a different type of spoon.”

“What other types of spoons are there?”

“Lemme show you,” Patton. He looks around, but doesn’t find any spoons. But Blythe is a;ready way ahead of him, speaking to someone at the counter with a smile. The person’s face is drawn and they are a bit, but they pass over a large handful of spoons regardless.

“Okay,” Patton says as Blythe hands him the spoons. “This is something called spoon theory. I’m going to have you hold the spoons, and then we’re going to talk about your day.”

“Okay?” Liam says, confused even as Patton hands him the spoons. His smaller hands hold them awkwardly.

“So walk me through your day, share everything you did.”

“I got up and went to school today?” Liam says, almost like it’s a question.

“That’s good,” Patton encourages, “but more detail. What did you do very first today?”

“I woke up and got out of bed.”

Patton nods, and reaches over and takes a spoon from his brother’s hands. Liam looks up at him in shock.

“You took the spoon!”

“Yup,” Patton agrees, “What’s the next thing you did?”

“I took a shower.”

Another spoon is taken away. Liam doesn’t say anything this time, but watches Patton. Dani, who was previously looking at the window, tries to subtly focus her attention on what’s happening.

“I ate breakfast. I got my backpack ready for school. I walked to school. I went to all my classes. I walked home from school.”

Five more spoons disappear. Liam has less than half left.

“What happens when the spoons run out?” he asks.

“What do you think happens?” Patton encourages. Because there’s no real way for Liam to understand his life, there’s no way for Liam to understand the constant pain, the draining energy, the calculations Patton puts into each day. This is the best metaphor he’s heard of.

“Well you’re taking away spoons when I do something,” he says, “So… if I run out I can’t do more things?”

“Exactly. Good job,” Patton praises.

Liam grins at the attention, but his expression quickly morphs into a frown.

“What if I run out of spoons before the day’s over? And I can’t do anything? What happens if I don’t have more spoons?”

“You have to wait until you get spoons back,” Patton explains. “Sometimes resting helps, sometimes you just have to wait. Sometimes you wake up and you start with more spoons, or less.”

“I don’t- I don’t think I run out of spoons?” Liam says. “I don’t get it.”

“That’s okay,” Patton encourages, “It’s not supposed to be you, it’s supposed to be me.”

“Well why do you have spoons and I don’t? Am I going to get spoons one day? It doesn’t seem very good.”

“I have spoons because I’m disabled. It’s how my life works. I start with spoons and I have to learn how to use them and manage them so I don’t run out. And that can be really hard.”

“So you rest more. And can’t do as many things sometimes,” Liam adds on.

“Yeah,” Patton encourages.

Liam frowns and quickly whispers some things to himself, setting down spoons as he does so. Eventually, all of them rest on the table.

“There’s not enough spoons for ice cream,” he realizes. “I’m sorry. I made you come.”

“You didn’t make me come,” Patton tells him, “Ice cream did take a spoon. But I have a bit more spoons today, and it was a spoon I was willing to spend. I’m okay. I just need you to listen to me when I sometimes say I can’t do things or need a break or need more time. Okay? Can you do that?”

“Yes!” Liam is quick to reassure. Dani nods slightly off to the side.

“Awesome,” Pat says, “Thank you.”

Soon enough, Liam is rambling about his day again, even getting Dani to chip in about hers as they finish their melting ice cream. It’s a nice moment.

-

The next morning Patton wakes up to a screeching alarm clock and a buzzing phone. He groans, shutting the alarm off first before checking his texts.

It’s a group chat, with three names he doesn’t recognize, asking him about dates for something. He frowns and opens it, scrolling up the chat to realize it’s a group project for one of his classes. They’re asking him about dates to meet up. 

But the dates they sent don’t work for him, Patton knows they don't. Why don’t they?

He checks his phone calendar, realizes that’s when he has to go back to the doctor. He- he has to get some tests done, right? 

He’ll check his notes later to be sure. Right now he needs to text the group chat that he can’t do those dates

To: Group

Patton: Sorry cant do those times. Doctors appointment.

Now that that’s done, he gets out of bed. 

And the moment he stands a spasm of pain rolls through his back. He catches himself on his bed before he falls over and hisses through grit teeth. The pain starts to subside. Somewhat.

He takes a breath. He waits a minute. Then, he carefully stands full upright, focusing on each tiny movement his back makes.

It feels like it’s on fire. But at least now it’s starting to simmer versus torch him. He carefully rolls his shoulders. His back settles somewhat, settling at a low familiar ache. Patton doesn’t risk his binder today. Dysphoria sucks, but the chance of causing further damage to his back and increasing his pain isn;t worth it. He grabs his cane.

-

Patton’s day sucks.

His back continues to spasm at random points, sending harsh shooting pains all across it. He doesn’t want to risk stretching out at school, where he doesn’t have a place to lie down or someone to help him if he needs it. But he’s pretty sure that sitting all day is making it worse. 

It hurts.

But finally it’s his last class of the day and the bell’s ringing and Patton can finally go home and there’s a person approaching him and she’s saying his name and Patton really does not want to talk to anyone right now he wants to rest.

But Patton doesn’t know what she wants, maybe she needs something, so he puts on a bright grin and nods in her direction from his seat.

“You can't keep flaking,” she tells him.

Patton blinks- unsure what she’s even talking about. She seems to know him but Patton has literally zero clue who she is and he doubts she’d be okay with him asking if her aggressive attitude is anything to go off of.

“What?” he says instead.

“Look. This is a group project. That’s two days in a row you’ve said you can’t meet up during, with the same excuse of a doctor’s visit. You need to put in effort here.”

Oh. Patton knows who she is now.

There’s a little bit of anger that comes with her statement too. Because here she is, coming in with anger and aggression because Patton’s missed two days and automatically assumes he’s lying. He gets it- most people don’t go to the doctor as often as he does. But she could have been nicer.

Patton doesn’t blame her though. Maybe she’s had a bad day. Most people do use the “I have to go to the doctor” excuse. 

Either way, she does need to hear the truth.

“I wasn’t flaking,” he insists.

“Really?” she asks, an eyebrow raised and shaking her head, “Two doctor’s appointments in two weeks?”

“Yes.”

“What could you possibly need to see a doctor about twice in two weeks now?”

Patton admits that at this point his patience is thinning. He’s telling the truth and now she’s pressing into his private medical information and it’s not fair. It’s not fair, Patton shouldn’t have to share this with her but she expects him to. Why is Patton expected to share everything medical with everyone?

She doesn’t know though. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know.

That makes it okay?

“That’s private information,” he eventually settles on.

She’s not going to believe him. She’s not- Patton can see it on her face, her disbelieving eyes, her scorn. She doesn’t believe and there’s no way she will unless Patton tells her everything- about how his memory doesn’t fucking work and sometimes he forgets huge chunks of times and he still doesn’t know her name and forgets that he’s even in a group project because his memory doesn’t even work-

She huffs.

She doesn’t believe him.

“This project is really important,” she tells him, “And I need an A in this class. Get your shit together.”

She storms out of the classroom.

Patton sighs, takes a breath. It’s surprisingly hard to breathe. He stands carefully, watching his back for any signs that it doesn’t like what he’s doing. It hurts. He stands, grabs his cane, leaves the classroom. He goes home. He’s not sure what else he can do.

~

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[ninjasmart]

Ninja, how do I know if I'm meant to be with someone? I like someone from afar. He ofcourse doesn't know my existence. On one hand I don't have any expectations and I tell myself it's just a stupid crush. But sometimes I feel a such a strong pull, almost like our destinies are about to get intertwined soon. I don't know what's happening, I keep on getting minor hints that keep on reminding me of him. How do I know if this is just a stupid crush or can I expect something more from the Universe?

I hit the post before I could answer so here it is. 

First, thank you for asking about this. It’s a cardinal rule in this Universe to not interfere unless you’re asked for help.

Second, even if you have mad compatibility aspects with someone it still does not mean that you are meant to be with that someone. Esoterically speaking and even astrologically, for connection can be counted the first time you lay eyes on each other. Preferably in person, but zoom is also an option these days. 

From that moment on whatever aspects you two have could potentially play out. If you don’t meet for real it’s really not it. A further relationship cornerstone is when you exchange sexual energy. It is not my place to give advice to others about how often with how many and how quickly to have a sex with a guy. Everyone has a life and personal responsibility for it. 

What I would mention is two things. Every man you sleep with, you exchange life energy and karma with him. The woman gives the man receives. If the guy has a bad karma you take it onto yourself. This is what we women do - we transform the bad karma of the man and give him life force, creative energy so that he can conquer the world. 

I personally go to great lengths - I mean, past life regressions, akashic records, astrology, tarot before I sleep with a guy. Two things I want to figure out about him - does he have the type of karma I don’t want to deal with (I once had the mistake of sleeping with a guy who turned out to be into financial fraud and 365 days after I cut it with him I finally stopped having people from all over the place stealing money from me) and the second thing is - what’s in it for me. If a guy can significantly uplevel his life just buy having me in his life, why should I give him my energy. It’s not a given. What does he have to offer in return? Will he be kind, dependable, protective, will he be a user. I wanna know what’s in the water before I jump with both feet ;)

The second thing about sleeping with a guy is that he connects with you and for 7 years he draws from your life force. That’s why it’s a good thing for a weak man to sleep with a lot of women and not a good thing for a woman to sleep with a lot of guys. She’ll be depleted of feminine energy and there’s even some women who turn into strong male energy where they find weak men and suck their life force. 

The next key date for a relationship is betrothal - could be with a ring but even a promise to be together or to “never forget you and always be in your heart” is a betrothal that should not be taken lightly. This is the time when each of the partners brings their ancestral karma in the mix. The final stage of a young relationship is marriage. This is the time when the two people form their own energetic nucleus which has some mix of past relationships, family karma, personal karma and past lives of both partners but also has its own energy. Then there’s changes with each child that comes to the mix but that’s another story.

With all that - if you have not seen someone in person it is more important to find out what that hope / dream / obsession / fantasy is giving you than to drill more into when what and how to meet the guy or girl. So here’s my advice for you:

1. Leave it to God. Some things are not in your hands. Allow the Higher Power to be on your side and to bring you the best life conditions for the expansion of your soul and the best life lessons you might have.

2. If you really want to do something about it and you are a woman - do not act like a man about it. There’s so many women today that have forgotten how to be a woman. A woman does not go out into the world to meet her destiny. A woman harnesses her feminine energy at home. She dances, she cooks, she cleans, she makes handmade stuff. That’s how a woman becomes energetically powerful and attracts what she wants in life.  

3. You can do a Parvati offering, if you’re a woman. For 16 Mondays wear all white, cook all white food (rice, milk, cheese) and ask for Goddess Parvati to help you meet your soulmate. Just remember to not name names. You might thing someone is your soulmate but you might be b*shi**ing yourself. So ask for the man you’re connected with the red string of fate to come find you, to come closer to you. 

And believe that it can happen. A man can literally travel 17 hours just to meet you for afternoon tea. Because he wants to and because he can.

4. What’s the payoff of holding on to this dream? Be very specific about it. I’ll give a few examples:

- You’re lonely and dreaming and fantasizing about a man is filling up the loneliness void in your life, plus it’s cheaper than drinking till you blackout. 

 - It’s an addiction that looks harmless at first glance but it really isn’t. It seems that you’re not hurting anybody, just lusting about a person you have never met. It’s innocent, no harm done. Right? Wrong. You’re sending him your life force, you’re gifting it to him with zero return to you, you’re also closing yourself vibrationally to an available guy who can actually find you, you give off the “I’m taken” vibe and that’s a strong repellent to men who are ready for relationship and commitment

- It’s a way to avoid reality because reality is sh***ty and in your dream reality you can be as glam and victorious as can be. 

Well I have some news for you. Life is a mess. Most likely your life will be a disappointment, will not happen how you wanted it to happen, things will go sideways and you won’t be able to do anything about it, you’ll ask yourself more than once in your life - what’s the point, what do I do now, this is a dead end, why are others happy, in love, with money, with career, with kids, without a care in the world and I am not like them, I’m back at square one, I can’t do this any more. And let me tell you - it doesn’t matter where you’re born, what color your skin is, how well you were raised, how much you have or don’t have - you will go through this. Everyone does. 

And finally, what I really wanted to tell you. It is a choice to obsess about someone. It’s a choice to not live in the reality of your life. Many people do it. Many people escape reality with food, mindless sex, spending on stuff, holidaying all year long, watching netflix or porn or news all day long. But that’s all that is - an escapism, a choice to not face reality but live in a fantasy world (I do it too. I’m not above it all. I watch c-drama to practice my mandarin but really, to have that fairy tale ending where the good girl gets the guy). Same with drinking and using drugs or smoking or junk food/dolce foods. Just that with the vices that can kill you faster it’s more obvious that it’s not good for you. With escapism not so much. It’s the same as consumerism. You think you need stuff but then covid comes and you realize that people who care for you are more precious than the next thing you can buy. 

I’ll leave you with two things you can think of. 

1. Ask yourself: Why do you really want this person? What’s the benefit for you?

2. If you knew that holding onto “I want That” is going to push That away from you (you may think that you focus on “I want that” but you actually focus on “I don’t have that” and you push it away) and if you knew that with this dream you’re keeping the space for the most amazing man or woman to come into your life and thus are missing out on opportunities to actually meet your happiness (even if you have a soul contract with someone if you do not meet during the time to meet a soulmate and a husband / wife, it’s not going to work, speaking from experience), would you still subject yourself to a future of single woman / man with cats and dogs? Or would you take full responsibility for the missed life while high on escapism and look at your reality exactly as it is and maybe go from wherever you are in life.