#you’re going to see that once i get to my latest pics

[cruesuffix]

posting every pic of mick i have on my phone pt.12

(feat. tommymick and all these satd era pics!!)

[sweetheartsaku]

—ot5 txt ; txt as a little more than friends

a/n : [fem!reader] AHH MY VERY FIRST REQ BY @bxckkdoor 😞💞💞 thank u sm u have no idea how grateful i am jskdeds <33 im so sorry this took so long... theres been some things happening irl rn </3

lupine !

yeonjun ; espresso - sabrina carpenter

ALWAYS HYPING YOU UP whether that be on your latest insta post, most recent snap, on call as your studying or even when you’re getting up to order something 😭💗

the best friend who hyung card activates when he sees you slightly uncomfortable from pricks on public transport or anyone, he finds a slight threat. on trams, one hand is on the handle, and one is wrapped around your torso (not waist cuz yall are ‘friends’ and doesn’t wanna make you uncomfortable!) BOUNDARIES PPL

JEWELLERY MAKING!! mentioned in another ot5 post, he loves making little bracelets or picking some cute ones up from stalls. gets cute and silly charms that remind him of you

prefers to take you out to night markets and restaurants, preferably cold dessert or ramen at home. loveloveloves both!!!

soobin ; must be love - laufey

loves to take pictures of sunsets, but ever since you guys became friends its always you taking a picture of the sunset too 🥹 2 of his favourite sights <3

has absolutely no hesitation in sending things over to your house. whether you’re sick and need food, falling behind and need books, hungry and want takeout, mention it once and the uber is at the door

CUTEST photo booth results. when you pass one, yall are bound to snap a couple pictures. you both have quite a collection of photo booth pics, and obviously some polaroids too!! always a couple on your wall and the back of your laptop and the back of his phone.

offers to carry you when your heels get too painful. thats it. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

beomgyu ; you get me so high - the neighborhood

mentions you in vids on tiktok that say iconic duos and it’s your initials with his, or sends you videos that are like 2 friends doing the candy bowls trend with MHA paper wigs on LOL

waits for you to tie your laces if he doesn’t get to them first. most of the time he’ll crouch in front of you and watch you tie them. sometimes you just need to wag your foot and he’s already there subconsciously but it's never in a slave way?? just a habit 😭 “can u tie my laces” “you’re so LAZY smh.” proceeds to tie them

weirdly knows when you’re not sleeping. he’ll text you on a day where you’ve never implied you were going to stay up, so when you get a text from beomgyu its like he knows you so well “GO TO SLEEP???” “EHY DO U HSVE CAMERAS ON ME”

writes your initials on everything!!!!!!! sometimes yeah he'll sneaky a heart over your paired letters, and loves to doodle over your arm or something <3 quite the artîst i say

taehyun ; don't wanna fall in love - KYLE

as much as i don't like saying grabby hands he does it sometimes. when you cross the road, his hands expect to be around yours when you cross. very endearing 10/10 would steal my heart in an instant

very playful sometimes 🥹 (THE VOICESS I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE TAEHYUN I LOVE YOUU) bumps his waist onto yours, lightly hits you with whatever's light, just likes to be fun and cozy with you. is very comforting and easy to open up with!!

he gives super nice massages. i dunno. like out of the blue, you or him will be talking to someone and his hands are on your shoulders. he's very gentle with it, and the tension in your body slips away so quickly.

lots of mirror selfies (kinda wants u to compliment him hehe)!! whether it's a new fit, in the changing room, at the gym! he's so pretty i cannot do this anymore.

kai ; forever out of time - tokyo tea room

the most FUN (friend?) dates EVERRRR!!! whether it be visiting the animal shelter, going on picnics, ice-skating, but last but not least (and also his favourite) is simply staying at his or your house and play cozy games on the switch :)) don't forget the noodles, blankets and movies!

his hands brush over yours way more than a normal friend should. maybe it's from being so used to clinging onto his arm or something, it's like magnetised. his arm is like... ALUUUUUURRING.

SO MANY 0.5S AND TIKTOKS. always filming something cute and trendy, a dance, sentimental trend. like yeonjun is always hyping you up in posts or stories, commenting liking favouriting EVERYTHING!!!

wrote the date you guys met on his controller. very small, on the right corner of his switch, in white paint pen with a smiley face next to it (he's so sweet i will cry on you)

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The Best Laid Plans

Summary: Y/N has a plan to torment Jensen a little. But we all know what they say about the best laid plans.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: It's just smut. 😁 Teasing. Sexting. Slightly dom!Jensen & sub!reader. Semi-public nudity. Orgasm denial (sorta). Masturbation. (sorta). Dirty talk.

Pairings: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,500

A/N: So, I've been planning on writing something with this picture since it was released during JibCon 14. I have no idea what he was talking about, thinking about, or what was being discussed at this moment. So, context has been completely removed in deference to my lust-filled, trash-heap mind. So...enjoy, I hope! 😁❤️

A/N 2: As always this story is about a Jensen from a different part of the multiverse who is single. This is a complete and utter work of fiction. 😊

Jensen Ackles RPF Master List || Main Master List

He had plans for you. So. Many. Plans…

You had been teasing him for hours and hours, sending him naughty pics that he tried to ignore, but simply couldn’t. He opened your latest text on stage, knowing it was going to be filthy, but incapable of waiting. He let Misha answer the question while he pulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked open the text.

You could see him struggling not to react. 

The photo had been taken from above. That had been a bit tricky to rig up. You’d been afraid someone would come in and think you were some creep trying to take pictures of people in the bathroom. But you’d managed to get the shot without an audience. 

The shot in question was of you in a bathroom stall, leaning against the door. Your tight sweater was pulled up and you gripped one fleshy breast in your hand, squeezing hard. Your short skirt was lifted, hips thrust forward while your hand was buried in your panties. Your head was thrown back, a look of ecstasy on your face, as you touched yourself.

At the bottom, in pink puffy letters, were the words, “Thinking of You.”

From the front row you watched Jensen shift restlessly on the tall stool he sat on, discreetly adjusting his jeans. His gaze found you in the audience, and he leveled a steely look your way. The look said he had plans for you. So. Many. Plans.

It was such a long panel after that. That look had shifted the game between you two. Now it was you who couldn’t sit still, shifting and trying to subtly press your thighs together. Every once in a while, Jensen stared you down again with another heated look and your core muscles clenched and your stomach almost ached with want. 

You’d never felt so empty, you were desperate to have him fill you up, and by the time the panel ended you were practically panting. You rose with everyone as they left to go to photo ops with the boys. But when you walked out of the auditorium, Jensen was there.

People shouted out greetings and he smiled and gave them a wave, but he quickly ushered you down the hallway, his hand possessively resting on the small of your back and propelling you forward.

He pushed you into an empty conference room. It was much smaller than the hall you’d come from, but still spacious. But when Jensen clicked the lock on the door, it seemed to shrink to a very tiny space, consisting of only the two of you and the air you breathed.

Jensen turned to face you and that same look was back in his eye. You let out a nervous giggle, anticipation singing in your veins. 

“Did you like the pictures?” You asked coyly.

Jensen smirked and shook his head. “Think you’re pretty funny, don’t you, baby? Trying to distract me on stage? Make me stumble over my words? Make me fight to stay calm? To do my damnedest not to get a fucking hard on in front of everyone?”

You bit your bottom lip and nodded. “Yeah, it was fun. You should have seen your face.”

That expression was back, the one that said he was going to ruin you; god knew your panties were already ruined.

Jensen tilted his head and a devilish smile curved the corners of his mouth. “Why don’t you recreate that last picture for me now?”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jensen’s voice was low and demanding, “go lean against that wall and pose for me. Just exactly how you did in that bathroom.”

You shook your head. The point had been to make him hot and bothered so he wouldn’t wait, wouldn’t hesitate to fuck you stupid the second he was off stage.

You started to protest. “But I-”

“Now.” His voice didn’t get any louder, but it was firm and hard and brooked no argument.

With butterflies in your stomach you moved over to get into the pose. Nerves made your hands shake as you lifted your sweater up and slid down a bra strap so you could pull out your right breast. 

Suddenly you were wondering; how strong was that door lock? How many people had keys? 

God! What if they have cameras monitoring the room? You thought frantically. 

But despite those worries you did as Jensen said, raising your skirt and slipping your right hand into your panties as your left hand crossed your body to take your tit into your palm and squeeze. 

A soft cry fell from your lips as your sensitive nipples reacted to the pressure.

“Perfect.” Jensen said quietly.

He moved over to pull a chair out from one of the tables, and sat down on it, crossing his legs to rest his ankle on his other knee. He folded his arms over his chest and just stared at you for nearly a full minute. You began to tremble slightly under his scrutiny. 

“Jensen?” You asked softly, slightly confused with his plan now.

Jensen held a finger up to his lips. “Shh! No talking sweetheart. I want you to show me what you were doing in that stall. Touch yourself. Rub your clit and tug on your nipple.”

“But I thought, I mean I want you to fuck me.” Your voice was a whine.

Jensen raised an eyebrow. “I know what you want, baby. But you spent all morning and afternoon teasing me, so you don’t deserve to be fucked just yet.” He nodded at you. “Now, do as I say.”

With a little whimper you followed his instructions, rubbing your middle finger in circles on your clit and tugging roughly on your breast. Your breath caught as you chased your high and your head thumped back against the wall as you panted out your need. 

You started to slip your finger into your opening, but Jensen shook his head. “No!” He barked out. “I didn’t say you could fuck yourself. I said to touch yourself.”

You moaned out your misery. “I’m so empty, Jensen, please. I need you, need your cock to fill me up.” Your hips fucked the air, as your finger twirled around your clit. 

"Aww, poor baby.” Jensen teased you with a wicked smile. “Are you uncomfortable? Can’t find satisfaction when you’re aching for it? That must be tough.”

You knew you deserved the torture for all your impish delights throughout the day, but you still whimpered as you continued the torment on yourself.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and you squeaked, pulling your hand out of your panties and starting to adjust your clothes, but Jensen held up his hand, finger raised. “Don’t even think about it. Stay the way you were.”

“Jensen!” You whispered loudly.

He shot you a look that said, “obey” and you could only comply, resuming your previous position.

Jensen walked to the door and opened it slightly. Thankfully you could stay hidden on the other side of it.

The person on the other side sounded rushed. “Jensen, you’re supposed to be at your photo ops. They’re waiting for you.”

Jensen nodded. “K, give me just a second.” He closed the door and walked towards you. He reached forward and pushed your hand aside to rub you through your panties. You bit your lip hard to keep from moaning.

“I’ve gotta go, sweetheart. But I want to see you in this exact position when I get back.”

Your eyes got round and wide. “What? You can’t leave me here like this!” You squeaked at him in a pseudo-whisper. 

But he ignored you. “If I come back and you’ve moved, I’ll make sure you don’t come for days, I promise you that.”

“Jensen.” You whined. The idea of being left in this room, half naked and waiting for him to come back, had your slick dripping down your inner thigh.

He took his hand away from you and then leaned forward to kiss you swift and hard. He trailed his lips across your jaw and then whispered into your ear, his breath hot. 

“Can’t let my naughty girl get away with anything, can I? Be good, be patient, and when I get back in an hour, I’ll bend you over that table and fuck you till you can’t walk.”

He pulled back to see your face, and then bent forward and licked your lips open, kissing you again, deeper and more lingering. Before you could really be satisfied with it though, he stepped back from you.

He gave his head a shake. “God, I fucking love you like this, sweetheart. All desperate and dripping, and just aching for my cock.” He groaned lightly. “Trust me, this is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.”

With that he spun away from you and walked out the door, leaving you there to try and figure out just how your plan had backfired so magnificently.

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters:

@lyarr24

@lacilou

@deans-spinster-witch

@globetrotter28

@suckitands33

@alwaystiredandconfused

@evznackles

@jackles010378

@impala67rollingthroughtown

@krazykelly

@candy-coated-misery0731

@envyaurora95

@spnwoman

@deans-baby-momma

@luvr4miya

@arcannaa

@viviwatchestv

@winharry

@ladysparkles78

@waywardcheshire

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom:

@kazsrm67

@slut-for-evans-stan

@sexyvixen7

@nancymcl

@hobby27

Everything Incl. Fan Edits:

@k-slla

@leigh70

@eevvvaa

@kickingitwithkirk

@foxyjwls007

@notinthislife50

@roseblue373

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@avanatural

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@deangirl96

@stoneyggirl2

[helyiios]

I had a dream once that the IMF boys had a tiktok and did the classic tiktok things mid-missions and stuff and I NEED to know you opinion on what their account would be like

Ok so replying to this again. I think Benji Jane and Will are the most online (and let’s indulge and say that it doesn’t cause conflit of interest with the fact they’re secret agents lol)

Benji’s the most popular (2.3M followers) and he posts the randomest most funniest shit on the PLANET. He hardlaunches Ethan with the out of my league trend (13M) despite NEVER mentioning being in a relationship before. He regularly forces Luther and Ethan to do trends w the rest of Hunt’s team, like I can’t find ayesha cuz she’s probably sucking dick/bitch pick up your goddamn phone you’re gonna make me sick where they all are on it w really cool transitions. He likes to talk abt SW or ST or DW a lot and one of his most liked videos (and how some people discovered him) is him replying to a comment that’s like “what’s knotting” and he just stares into the cam while putting one a red nose to a circus music. He posts himself and Ilsa while they’re dressed up for the opera on a mission with like the song fashion in the background and everyone goes crazy. He posts a vid where it’s him and Ethan looking at each other with the baby I’m yours song and it gets like 20M views. He does a transition from him at the gym to him in evening clothes he had to wear for a mission to everyday I spend my time drinking wine feeling fine and he doesn’t EVEN mean to do it as a thirst trap but that’s how it’s received and people are like oh my god…benji. Similarly he makes a post where he details his tattoos (after being asked a buncha times) and he’s shirtless, and everyone’s losing their minds because they’re like YOU HAVE A SIX PACKS? He and Jane post a short dancing vid to cmon let’s get it started lemme see you move your body and it goes goes viral bcs that’s when their respective followers find out they’re friends. He makes a photo post that’s like we’ll be a fine line we’ll be alright with a pic of the first hunts team mission w their latest one, and people ask him if he likes Harry styles and he just goes “who❤️” He does the pabrobui mwah mwah trend w Ilsa while they’re ALSO in a mission in Poland and they’re dressed in very warm clothes and everyone’s like oh my god…I’ve seen two pretty best friends. I genuinely think he’s got a few moves in him so there’s one of his most liked vids where he’s filming himself cooking in his kitchen where he’s barely dancing to busy earnin’ and the vibes are IMMACULATE. He 100% did the ceilings and you with the dark curls you with the watercolour eyes trends. He ALSO forced the entire team to do the benjamin’s deli trend (dancing slowly in the light vs throwing moves in the dark while people put on their phones’ light). He also posts himself during a training sesh to bts’ steve aoki remix mic drop and people are like YOU FUCKING KNOW BTS? and he just goes stan jin👍 he’s also a skilled violin and piano player so sometimes he posts himself playing.

Jane’s account is at 700k and one of her most liked vids is with Ilsa where they’re lipsynching the pam and i feed off each other’s energy. I tease her, she teases me (…) and that’s when people start to get that they’re all mates. She does the bitch you know I’m sexy trend with Will and Benji. She forces Ethan (he lost a dare) to do the you carry yourself with the confidence of a…much taller man trend. She soft launches Ilsa w a video of “24H in my life” (while she’s on break) where you can see glimpse of her gf and her followers go insane trying to figure out who it is. She posts herself and benji where benji’s tied to a repelling cable on a high building and she’s zooming in on him w the never back down never what/never give up audio in the background and people are like what the fuck r y’all doing??? She also is a great dancer so she regularly posts herself to the latest dance trend (she KILLED Angel in Tibet and Back on 74.) Both she and Benji did the okokokok lalala trend w their respective partners. (ilsa’s ok janes lala and ethans lala while benjis okokok)

Brandt (560k) is fucking hysterical bcs you’d think he doesn’t know what fun is and is so serious about literally everything and well. you’d be kind of right. He mostly post himself at the gym and people ask him a lot abt his supplements and his program, things to which is gracefully replies. His most liked video is SO Brandt coded because it’s just him crossed armed at his desk looking into the cam with like, company in the background, which technically qualifies as a thirst trap and everyone’s so confused because they’re like oh my god…I think I’m attracted to office workers. He also posts a lot of him sparring, sometimes w Benji or Jane or Ethan or Ilsa and people go kind of insane about those. He never gets Hunley on cam but once he replies to a comment that’s like “are you free tonight” and he just stares into the cam and pulls hunley’s left hand w the wedding band on it with the audio IM MARRIED in the background. THATS where his followers find out he’s gay and they’re like A WIN FOR THE COMMUNITY. Just like benji he can play the guitar, so sometimes he posts vids of himself playing, either of requested songs or some he likes.

[starjxsung]

hi angel <3

how are you doing? you’re so strong, you know that right? i’m so sorry to hear what happened to you. humanity keeps cementing itself as the worst species. not wanting to write about men is so understandable and please don’t force yourself to do so until you feel comfortable with it. anyone with empathy will understand the trauma that comes with having to go through something like that. take as much time as you need to heal. i send you the absolute biggest hug and my undying support.

i’m so honored that you think of me when you see kitties😭 that is all i want in life🥹

did you watch the kitten video?🥹🥹 i was so distracted with the kittens that i don’t remember anything they said but i’ll watch it a million more times😻

my bank cannot handle another comeback + tour🥲 im struggling as it is wtf jyp </3 im so excited for lolla, we’re staying for like a week and are working on the logistics for our non-festival days. it’ll be so fun. im also listening to a lot of chappell roan lately too, im really pumped to see her. i am so with you @ the barricade at every concert you go to (real) <33

if you get around watching the kdramas someday, imma need your review <3 and nana!! i love that, a nana keychain sounds so cute🥹 i finished it already (im bedrotting 4 summer rn) and i read the manga too and it’s so sad but so beautiful so i def recommend you watch/read it someday!

and for the kittens, the baby with the RI is doing so much better in just a few days with antibiotics <3 once its eyes are fully opened and healed, i shall send pics!

ily angel <3 you’re the sweetest person ever to exist. remember to rest, eat and stay hydrated! take care, always <3 sending you hugs!

-🐈‍⬛

HI MY BABY ANGELLLL I’VE MISSED YOU 🥹🫶🫶🫶🫶 I love you so very dearly. It’s been so frustrating getting through the days lately. But I’m doing my best ! The neighborhood was very supportive of it when I called the police and posted about it publicly which helped a lot <3 and I’m staying off my phone for the most part which makes things feel a little less stressful. Sending you all the hugs in the world, I love you so so much and I hope you’re doing absolutely amazing as well 🫶❤️🥹

STOPPPP the amount of times I’ve watched the kitten video 😭 I wasn’t expecting Channie to be so good with them???? Also forever laughing at Felix and Jisung trying to handle the kittens LOL the way they were clawing at their knees is exactly what momo does when she gets really excited and even though it’s adorable it can really leave a mark if her nails are long 😭 that being said, Chan needs a kitten. Somebody get him a kitten

I can’t believe we’re at like!!! One month until Lolla!!!!! We’re making all our plans too and it’s honestly nerve-wracking but I’m soooo fucking ready to see skz again ahh it’s been so long since I saw ot8 together and I’m stoked we’re probably getting new songs! I already preordered the new album (rip my wallet 💔😀) and my bank acc is HURTINGGGG….. everybody remind me not to spend anything until Lolla (impossible)

I will absolutely let you know what I think about the kdramas if I get around to them!!! I’ve been rewatching Kingdom these days and after that’s done I’ll be in dire need of bedrotting content again <3

Also soooo happy little RI kitten is doing better!!!! I forgot I referred to it originally as RI kitten so I just stared at my phone for a whole minute thinking “Rhode Island kitten???” LOL so glad little kitty’s doing amazing though 🥹❤️

Sending you all my love sweet angel I hope the summer days are good to you 💓🫶❤️💝💘💞👼 also here’s my latest pc & holder I’ve been obsessed with…. Jun Han from xdinary heroes if you’re reading this I love u

[murfeelee]

End of Year Collage - Best of 2022

Rules: Find your fave pics of your story or your blog in general and post them up in a collage! :D it can be 1 picture or 100 whatever you want. But just reflect on your fave moments in your story or on your blog. It can be cute moments or pictures you’re just really proud of.

I did this last year and decided to make one for 2022, to celebrate simming, the one source of joy I got out of another crapfest of a year.

I did even less simming this year than I’ve ever done, so some months once again have no entries, which depresses me. I doubt 2023 will be any better, but here’s hoping! 🤞🤞

MY THOUGHTS (for each month) under the cut:

January: New Years Miniset

I did diddly squat in January, just uploaded my New Years miniset that I had made for Magnus Bane’s birthday the December before.

February #1: Lunar New Year | February #2: Black Girl Magic Collection

Still no gameplay this month, but I got a lot done as far as CC, uploading my regularly scheduled holiday sets for Lunar New Year and Black History Month. Shortest month of the frikkin year, but I’m always swamped in February.

March #1: BLEACH \(^0^)/ | March #2: Let them eat cake!

I went nuts in March, trying to rush to get as much Bleach inspired gameplay done as possible before my schoolwork and birthday plans for April all caught up with me. Didn’t get nearly as much done as I wanted, but I had fun, regardless. Ironically enough however, y’all were more interested in one silly post I made where my Sakura & Ryuu sims assassinated Marie Antoinette! XD

April: Modern Male Witch Project Part 5

My latest installment recreating Brenna-Ivy’s Modern Mages went off without a hitch. Made an EFFTON of CC for y’all on my birthday, and had a blast!

May: Didn’t do any simming in May, as I needed to recover from blitzing the last 3 months.

June #1: The Untamed cont’d | June #2: Pride Month: Asian LGBT+

I took advantage of my Summer Break from school to continue my The Untamed gameplay. Some of my favorite posts ever, right there. Plus, it was Pride Month, so I was able to double-time it with Hanguang-Jun(e) Month and an cool Asian-themed LGBT series of weekly posts from some of my fave fandom ships: Nagron, Malec, WangXian, Andynh, and Adoribull.

July: Mighty Nein

I did more of the Modern Male Project, but definitely the best gameplay of the month (and arguably my whole YEAR) came from my Critical Role inspired posts. Y’all were going bananas; I loved seeing how many D&D fans were out there! I’m definitely doing more this year, it was way too much fun.

August: TW3 Skellige

My witcher!household went a-viking in Ard Skellig, as I tested out a bunch of new CC I was uploading that month. 

September: Nada. I was in the TRENCHES at school; I got hit with one massive project after another, ISTG it was like the department wanted to see if I would effing crack under pressure. STILL HERE, WENCHES. I hate grad school.

October: The Untamed cont’d

Halloween was the perfect time to deal with Wen Ning, so I HAD to squeeze in some more Untamed gameplay for the holidays. 

November: Wei Wuxian’s Halloween/Birthday

I was late posting in time for WWX’s bday on Halloween, but was just glad I managed to make a post I’d been dying to do for a LONG while, showing Wei WuXian get reincarnated as Mo XuanYu.

December: Interview with the Vampire

Y’all. Y’all know? How effing HAPPY I am that AMC made this dang show? I love every bit of it; eff the book purists. This is how you do an adaptation RIGHT, by ELEVATING the source material and updating the content for modern audiences. BRAVO.

________________________________________________

Thank you everybody, followers, mutuals, lurkers, and all simmers who continue to support me and The Sims 3, and like my content!

Happy Simming, and Happy New Year!

[englishstrawbie]

I can already tell I’m not gonna like 6x09. They’re 100% gonna have Carina considering adopting this child without her wife or something. And you’re right; you don’t just get over the desire to carry a child. They haven’t even exhausted all their options. But they def need to slow their roll for now. Also Stefania looks phenom in the latest episode pics. Everyone looks better which just highlights how bad the promo shots were

I made a decision at the start of season 6 to just go with the flow this year, to not get caught up in spoilers or episode synopsis, and just see where each episode goes. So far, that's been working for me and I plan to continue. But there's something about the synopsis for 6x09 that has irked me. I think it's because I watched one of my friends go through hell because she, like Carina, was desperate to carry - and it almost killed her, both mentally and physically.

Of course, we don't know what the 'offer' is going to be, but there's already a lot of speculation that it might lead to an adoption storyline - and I'm not against that. An adoption storyline could be interesting, if told properly. But what I don't want is for all the sh*t the writers have put the characters (and, by extension, the fans) through in trying to have a baby using a donor to just... not matter any more, because suddenly Carina is ok with not carrying and will adopt instead.

If it's so important to Carina to have a baby and to carry that baby, to the extent that she's put her body through hell with 5 inseminations, then taking that dream away from her is another trauma that should be addressed.

The timing of this unnerves me too. 6x09 is only a couple of episodes away. I'm expecting Maya to still be recovering from her accident, and possibly - from what has been said - for Maya and Carina's relationship to still be in a bad place. I don't think Carina coming home and saying "oh, by the way honey, one of my patients offered me her baby today and I want to say yes" is going to be something that bonds them.

This should be something that brings them together and a decision that they make when their marriage is in a good place. I don't want it to be something that divides them even more.

It's an ensemble show, there is only so much screen time they can give to any one character or pairing. The writers need to tell one story at a time, so that we get the most of that storyline, instead of trying to do too much at once.

And there ends my rant. 😂 This turned into a longer post than I intended! 🤦🏼‍♀️

[lindszeppelin]

Tin foil hat theory: they’ll break up mid September.

Now, I’m not as certain they are PR as you are but my theory works for both options.

We all agree their body language is weird (well anyone who has a fully developed brain and a non 12 year old view of what a healthy relationship is) but Kaia has looked more off lately when usually she was fawning over him or posing while he looked annoyed. Now she’s also looking disconnected.

So let’s say they are real and not PR; everyone who’s been in longer relationships knows they sometimes die slowly. Speaking for myself, I once knew a now ex and I weren’t gonna make it but it took forever to break up. It was always something, including birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Like I would have felt like a huge jerk if I broke up with him the weeks leading up to his birthday. And honestly, I wanted to make sure we were really not going to repair ourselves so I didn’t mind waiting for a few milestone dates to pass to be sure. But I was white knuckling it. By mid September they’ll both have had their birthdays. The pressure will be off and there won’t be as much excitement to distract from their issues. I could see that house of cards falling in mid September.

Ok, but if the are PR I think a similar timeframe is happening too. What’s the point of a PR relationship but to get PR? People really underestimate that not over exposing yourself with PR helps keep people interested bc then you’re mysterious. If they are PR, this is the narrative they were going for. However, they’ve been way less mysterious lately. Tons of pap walks, activities (like pottery), and this latest pap dinner in Beverly Hills was more Austin centric when they tend to be more Kaia or both centric. He looked like a movie star and she was the trophy gf, instead of these casual hikes or weird get together where they are a bit more casual. Think about it: go out with a bang. Get more press, remind the public you’re a thing (many do forget they are dating who are not in the fan base as weird as that may sound-at least that’s been my experience) and then it’ll be even more shocking when they split…which will KEEP the public interested in them and whatever comes next. I feel like we’ve been overloaded with pap pics this summer after a drought…I doubt that’s an accident. They both had things to promote but both of those things are now out and yet last night felt like the most egregious “Hollywood couple in Beverly Hills date night pap walk” ever.

But if they’re real something is off and if they’re PR it’s being revved up for a reason. I think an implosion is coming or is about to be staged. I’m calling it now that this will fall apart in a few weeks. If they’re still together by the end of September, I’m wrong 😅 But I’m calling it! I’d say before or around 9/21 they’ll be done…and possibly break up rumors will leak or be planted first.

baby that's not a tinfoil hat conspiracy that is a pretty sensible and realistic way to look at the situation :) i second this motion of something is coming.

these pics and the video accompanying it made me laugh this morning. i have a lot of thoughts on them but i don't have too much time to dive deep into it. maybe later tonight. but i'll just say for now that your thoughts here mirror mine. we have to monitor this weird situation and see what happens. let the chips fall where they may. the shoe has to drop at some point

[creationfathers]

psycho latest..

"@ Misha Collins if you're going to keep ghosting me like this then I won't even try anymore . You treat me like a doormat and I just let you ghost me all these years and walk all over me. I deserve better than this crap misha. Celebrity or not . You call yourself " spiritual " but you're egotistical and feed off attention from your fans. Do you even care about me? Am I even important to you at all? Was the last two years just some kind of joke to you? Posting Taylor Swift content just to bait me.... Typical divine masculine behavior! IM DONE BEING YOU TWIN FLAME!"

"@ misha the INVISIBLE string. The golden cord that binds us. DROPPING THE WHOLE BAKERY NOT JUST BREAD-CRUMBS. Is this KARMA? What am I just around to keep you relevant? Do you actually care about me or do you just like the attention that my “crazy twinflame love” gets you? Sitting under a WILLOW tree not-reading any poetry. When I leave you always bait me. Is it me? AM I THE PROBLEM? Or IS IT OVER YET? and you know how to poke my damn buttons. But maybe… I’m still just a little ENCHANTED, thinking about November… but you leave me with all this KARMA AND ILLICIT AFFAIRS…… but baby…. YOUR LOOSING ME… I can no longer hang on….but even when it’s over… I’ll always call you my LOVER."

"@ misha your forever my... Lover. YOU CAN GROW THAT BEARD TO THE ground. And I would still LOVE YOU."

(after some misha fans told her to stop and seek psychiatric help)

"@ misha these people who “adore you” don’t like the other half of your soul…. Hey SPN haters. You take everything I say and turn me into a monster? Just so you know. I will not tolerate hate on a platform that is meant for my self-expression. You know NOTHING and I mean absolutely NOTHING about my life. I have 3 children that are my entire world, and although i never met misha’s children i would consider them as my own if we ever were to be in a place of a real relationship. (But we’re not and never will be) this account is just for self- expression. This is why I stopped writing so much poetry because I am tired of the rumors, speculation, and “gossip”. Xoxo. Have a wonderful day. And be nice from now on or I will not hesitate to block you from a POETRY ACCOUNT made for POETRY and occasionally talking to @ misha"

"Sometimes I wonder how much we mirror eachother. Do you ever miss me and your tired eyes find my poetry? Do I have to tell yourself “don’t look” because you know I’m only talking to you… do you have to burden of wondering “is he talking to me” life must be so easy knowing how much you are loved… knowing you are accepted with every flaw illuminating your beauty."

"November was 4 months ago… yet I’ve aged like it’s been 40 years. Guess twinflame seperation phase has deemed not-so-great side effects."

(posts a pic of herself dressed like an insane person at the Hawaii convention she was kicked out of) "@ misha this was the last day I saw you. I miss you terribly… we only live once. I want to see you again. But you’re going to have to find a way to prove me that this is real for you… I’m Inlove with you. And I know it’s not the kind of love that will ever fade. I said I am committed to you… which I meant. There’s nobody else I want to spend my life with…. I’ll give you time to show me a decent response. Not through poetry. Or something small. In the FLESH misha. I’m loosing hope in “destiny”…"

"@ misha I love you… am I the one you love? Cmon. Take a risk. Say what you feel in person. I’m home… and I’ll wait for you, but I can’t hold hope forever… and I’m loosing it."

and she's changed her Instagram bio to read "IF THIS IS REAL. Extra bedroom in my 🏠 … take the ✈️ 🌴… come see me…. Before it’s too late…before a “what if”"

This person really thinks Misha Collins, a celebrity who doesn't know her, is going to get on a plane to Hawaii, come to her (parents) house and sleep in her spare bedroom so they can have sex and connect spiritually. She thinks he will fly thousands of miles, confess his love for her and admit that he has secretly been pretending to be a woman on the internet for the past four years and sending her coded love messages via an Instagram account.

She genuinely believes that is going to happen.

And she doesn't believe she is mentally ill. 🙄

(PS - isn't it weird how she completely ignores anything that doesn't fit her delusional narrative? like this latest delulu shitstorm was triggered by Misha posting some jokey nonsense about Taylor Swift and she's convinced that's him communicating with her because she has mentioned Taylor Swift before. But all the Ukraine stuff Misha has also posted? Total silence on that from her. No comment at all. Because it doesn't fit her narrative. So it's irrelevant. She doesn't care at all about that stuff. Even though Misha has spent significantly more time and energy on Ukraine than on.. Taylor Swift. He WENT to Ukraine, met Zelensky, hid in a bunker from Russian shelling, met soldiers, made videos, has raised nearly $300,000 for de-mining efforts, he's posted about it literally dozens of times in the past two years. But to her that's nothing. If she's "the other half of his soul" why doesn't she care about the things he cares about??)

She's so stupid

[befemininenow]

A love letter to my biggest supporters:

“Hiya! You probably wonder how I’m doing after my transition and I’m here to say… I’m doing fabulous! I have the best girl friends, a good home, a beautiful body, sexy clothing, and a very hot hubby who I call daddy. No way am I going back to being a sad boy. Becoming a woman has been the best decision of my life!

Btw, I’ve changed even more. See my ninth and latest pic of my timeline vid? That’s me now. The perfect trophy wife for daddy. I’d do anything to make him happy. Hard to believe a voluptuous vixen like me was once a scrawny, little boy, right? You can thank genetics and money for that. Listen, I know you’re like me. Don’t hide it anymore. Come out as trans and become one of us. Imagine all the euphoria you will get by becoming a bimbo like me. It will be the best choice of your life.

Oops, gotta go now. I can’t keep daddy waiting for our looong, special night. I can already picture him rock hard when he sees this new, lingerie set I’m wearing just for him. It’ll be so hot feeling him take me over in and out with his strong, manly body. Maybe one day I can help you get your own. What do you think? 😉

~Byyeee!!-

Embrace euphoria 🩷

[minisugakoobies]

Message Received | JHS

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: smut, PWP, established relationship, non-Idol!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: sending sexy photos, Dom Hobi agenda, masturbation (m + f), dirty talk, mild degradation (use of the word 'slut'), orgasm denial, reader is needy and kind of a brat?, allusions to rough sex including choking, allusions to dom/sub relationship, I went into a fugue state upon seeing Hobi’s latest pics and this is the result

Word Count: 1.7k

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they simply inspire me

Summary: Hoseok sent you a message. Will you listen?

A/N: Once again, Hobi's insta has me reeling. I saw those pics of him in that suit at the White House and this one-shot is the result! This was supposed to be a drabble but it just kept going. 🥴

I'd love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

You stare at the photo on your screen. The image hasn’t changed in the last few minutes since you first opened the text. But you find yourself examining every detail as if certain you’ll find something you haven’t noticed yet. 

A sunlit hotel room. Sparse, practical furniture lining the walls - a bed on one side, tv on the other. And between them, wearing an exquisitely tailored black suit and tie, one hand in his pocket, the other tilting his phone to capture his reflection in the mirror, stands your boyfriend. He’s not smiling, long dark hair swept off his face, lips slightly parted as he concentrates on taking the perfect shot. His expression is serious, almost stern.

It’s a look you are intimately familiar with. All the sleep still lingering in your body evaporates as a shudder runs down your spine.

This isn’t what you had expected to wake up to on this quiet Tuesday morning. Hoseok has been gone for not even two full days now, off on another important business trip. Five days this time. Twisting in the satiny sheets on your bed, you roll onto your side, wincing slightly, still a little sore from his goodbye. Not minding the ache. It just reminds you of what you’re missing… as if you need another reminder. 

Hoseok knows how hard these trips are for you. The apartment feels so empty without his presence. You reread the message he sent with the photo.

Hobi (8:02): Ready to make this deal happen this afternoon. The sooner we close, the sooner I’m home. Be good for me until then, baby girl. 

He probably sent the photo hoping to lift your spirits a little. Give you something to smile about while you wait for his return. But looking at your gorgeous boyfriend in that perfectly fitted suit is having a much different effect on you now. It’s the way he gazes at the camera, with sharp intent. Total focus. 

You get an idea. 

Lying back on your bed, you arrange the sheet around you and snuggle into your pillows. After finding the perfect angle, you snap a quick pic, then send it off. 

(10:15): Woke up missing you. Thank you for the photo 🥰

A few minutes pass with no response. He must be busy. 

Huffing a sigh, you open his photo again. His hand catches your eye, so you zoom in, admiring the long fingers that curl around the phone, noting the way his veins pop slightly as he holds it. How you wish you could feel that hand on you right now. You trace your fingers down your neck, remembering the other night. The way that Hoseok gripped your throat as he fucked into you, cutting off the air from your body and making you see stars. 

Below the softness of your tank top, you firmly caress one of your breasts, mimicking the sure hand you’re missing. Your nipple wakes as you roll it between your fingers, and you snap a photo of the tiny bud protruding from beneath the silk, and send it off to Hoseok. But you don’t wait for a reply, continuing to slide down the sensitive skin of your stomach before lightly cupping the heat between your thighs. 

There’s a dampness growing there, seeping through the thin fabric. This is the effect Hoseok always has on you. Even just looking at his photo and recalling his touch is enough to have you slick and ready for him. You skim your fingers along the waistband, dipping just a fraction of an inch beneath, and quickly fire off another photo to Hoseok before plunging your hand underneath. Tracing the sodden folds, you lick your lips as you slip one finger inside yourself. 

Your phone buzzes. 

Hobi (10:23): Baby girl. What are you doing?

You grin. 

(10:24): Just wanted to say good morning 

Hobi (10:25): Good morning? It’s afternoon here. Did you forget about the time difference?

Oops. You did, in fact, forget that he was now several hours ahead of you.

(10:25): Sorry, Hobi 

Hobi (10:26): I’m in my meeting right now and these photos are very distracting. Is that what you wanted? To distract me from doing my job? 

(10:27): I just wanted your attention. I miss you

Hobi (10:27): I know. I miss you too 

Hobi (10:28): But this is an important client and if we close early, then I get to come home early. Don’t you want that? 

(10:28): Yes! 

(10:28): Need you here, Hobi 🥺

Hobi (10:29): Then be a good girl and be patient for me

(10:29): Okay. I will. Love you 😚

Hobi (10:30): Love you too, baby girl

Stretching, you close your eyes, beaming happily to yourself. Hoseok will be home soon. You just need to be patient.

…but you’re worked up now.

You slip your hand between your legs again, tugging your panties to the side. *click* Rubbing your forefinger into your clit, you arch your back, keening at the pressure. *click* The arousal flowing from your core makes it easy to insert two fingers at once. It’s not what you’re yearning for, but it’s enough to make you moan. *click*

The more you chase that fire in your gut, the more photos you send, until your phone lights up, vibrating in your hand. Bringing it to your ear, you gasp out a greeting. 

“Baby girl.” Hoseok’s voice is deep and dark. Your favorite tone. “Didn’t I tell you to be good?” 

“Yes.” Your fingers keep moving. 

“And you think touching yourself and sending me more nasty photos is behaving?” There’s a loud zipping noise on the other end of the line. 

“I just wanted - “

“Yes or no. Is continuing to distract me with dirty pictures, to the point where I have to excuse myself from this crucial meeting and hide out in a bathroom stall so I can jerk off, really considered ‘behaving’?” The sound of skin slapping against skin hits your ears.

“N-no, Hobi.” 

“What’s my name?” 

“Sir. S-sorry, sir,” you stutter again, toes starting to curl from the way you’re playing with yourself. 

“Listen to you. Already worked up, huh? I saw you had two fingers inside yourself. Such a greedy little slut, aren’t you? Wishing those fingers were my cock.” 

You groan wantonly. “Yes, sir.” 

The slapping sound is getting louder, faster. “Put me on speakerphone.” 

Stabbing the button, you drop your phone by your head. 

“Are you still fucking yourself? Still have those two fingers thrusting inside that little cunt?”

“Yes, sir,” you moan. 

“I want you to suck on your other fingers, baby girl. Get them real good and wet for me.” 

Sticking your fingers in your mouth, you swirl your tongue around, soaking your skin. “Mmmph!”

“Good girl. Now I want you to take those fingers and rub your clit,” Hoseok pants. “Pretend it’s my tongue, baby girl, let me taste you. I bet - “ he lets out a grunt and you clench around your fingers, “fuck, I bet you’d make my face so juicy right now, wouldn’t you, slut? Have you dripping down my chin, so fucking filthy.” 

Mewling helplessly, you stroke your clit as Hoseok orders you, eyes screwing shut as you picture him between your legs. You pinch the sensitive nub, pretending he’s sucking on it, and let out a squeal. 

“Please, sir!” 

“Please what, baby girl?” 

“I - I need you!”  You’re so close to your peak. 

“Well, I’m not there, so you’ll have to do this yourself. So keep touching that clit, dirty girl. Don’t stop.” His breathing is so heavy, you feel like you might climax just from listening. But that doesn’t prevent you from obeying his instructions and brushing the tiny pearl again and again. 

There’s a muffled knocking and Hoseok curses. “Fuck, baby girl, as much as I want to drag this out, I can’t be in here much longer. So I want you to start fucking yourself faster, okay? Pump those fingers for me. Pretend it’s my tongue, fuck, pretend I’m licking that delicious cunt, sliding inside. Can you feel me?” 

“Yes, sir, I feel you, Hobi, I feel you,” you babble, feeling yourself start to unravel. 

“Ah, fuck, baby girl, I wish I were there right now, I miss your taste, your smell, the way you feel - ah! Fuck!” The sound of Hoseok cumming fills the room and you clench again. “Fuck, are you close?” 

“I’m so close, sir, I’m so -” 

“Stop.” 

The word is uttered with such power that you immediately freeze. Your brain scrambles to understand. “What?”

“I said, stop. Stop touching yourself, right now.” Despite the way you know his chest must be heaving right now, Hoseok’s voice is forceful. Steady. 

You blink but keep your hands still. “Sir?” 

“Do you want to get off?” 

Your wordless whine makes him chuckle lowly. 

“Then you will do exactly what I tell you from now on. Do you understand?” 

“Y-yes, sir.” 

“Good.” There’s some commotion on the other end, the sound of water running, a door opening and closing. When he speaks again, his voice is hushed but no less assertive. “I told you to be patient. So that means no more touching yourself until I get home. Not with your fingers, not with any of the toys I bought you. Don’t even think about humping your pillow or anything else dirty little sluts like you do.” He pauses as other voices filter through the speaker. “Am I clear?”

The throbbing between your legs hasn’t ceased. “But Hobi -” 

He cuts through your pouting. “Good girls don’t argue, they listen. If they want their reward.” 

In the silence that fills the room, you envision all the ways you know he’ll reward you when he’s home. Just like all the other times. You can do this. What’s another three days?

“Yes, sir.” 

His voice softens. “That’s my baby girl. I need to get back into the meeting before they think I’ve run off. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay. Love you, Hobi.” 

“Love you too.” 

Snuggling back into your pillows, you smile as you think of all the ways he could punish you, too. Sure, you’ll be good for him today. But who knows what tomorrow will bring. 

© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

Taglist: @babycoffeefire; @parkdatjimin; @reliablemitten; @yuugehn; @ut-dixisti; @hesperantha; @seokjinger-ale; @bangtanintotheroom; ​​@taeshuworld; @nch327; @hannahbee12719ficrecs; @7minsuga96; @dvalitaes; @wonieclub; @thatlongspringnight; @miscelunaaa; @acquiescence804; @itsirisz; @velvetskize; @starbtslove; @ajw05; @bruisedscrewedandtattooed; @minesuga; @greezenini; @aznstoner; @jkkkkkay; @xuxibelle; @soeur-de-ame; @boraborabts; @signmybook; @bbl32; @codeinebelle; @here4btsfics; @itbtoblikethatsometimes; @kookprada; @addictedtohobi

Also tagging a few possums @xjoonchildx @madseok @augustbutwinter @sugalaritae @wwilloww

[twopoppies]

Lmaooo Olivia did a photoshoot for Elle Magazine and she has the pickle bookstore cap in on of the pics. Thats like Oh I want Privacy but also let me wear this to connect myself to Harry in a magazine.

Oh my god she is unbelievable. She’s clearly on her redemption tour, but she is absolutely full of shit. Look at this nonsense she’s trying to spin:

Let’s start off with acting like her film had a point to make. Then remind people that everything that’s happened is because of “misogyny”

Over tea, Wilde confides her disappointment with the way the story has been “minimized into bite-size TikTok points.” When I offer that it could be good publicity, she says her intention was not, as she jokes, to “throw myself into the flames for the movie.” She wants people to pay attention to what’s onscreen, and is frustrated that the press hasn’t. “This film is trying to ask big questions, but [it’s] ‘Let’s just focus on this sideshow over here,’ ” she says. “Having been a known figure for a while...makes me well-equipped to have a Teflon exterior. But it also means that you’re under a different kind of microscope. It’s brought my attention to the media and how it pits women against one another.” (For what it’s worth, she has nothing but praise for her leading lady. “She’s so generous in her acting in every scene. She makes everyone around her better.”)

Move on to pretending she’s still working on a film that’s been shelved. Make a “subtle” point on how she’s the victim here.

Meanwhile, Wilde is developing, and set to direct, a Kerri Strug biopic with the working title Perfect, and reportedly has a deal with Sony to direct a hush-hush, female-centric Marvel feature. “A few of the things I have in development are about the raw determination of women,” she says. “Clearly, I idolize women who survive a system that they feel challenged by.”

Aligns herself with Florence and once again says she, Olivia, is the real victim.

Perhaps it’s something she can relate to as she navigates this latest chapter. “It is shocking to see so many untruths about yourself traded as fact,” she says. “Florence had a really wise comment that we didn’t sign up for a reality show. And I love that she put it that way, because it’s as though the general public feels that if you are making something that you’re selling to the public, you somehow have accepted that your life will be torn to shreds by a pack of wolves. No, that’s actually not part of the job description. Never was.”

Bring up Harry, try to align with the queer community, remind people about her important “female pleasure” point.

“I was interested in acknowledging female pleasure that doesn’t come from penetration.... The one area of cinema where I don’t see people being held back [about sex] in this way is queer cinema. Harry has a film coming out, My Policeman, which is a wonderful example of real eroticism that is explored and treated in an adult way without being fetishized or objectified.

THIS IS THE CHERRY ON TOP. Act as though she wasn’t the one who made the film all about sex. Aligns herself with Florence again.

“But it’s interesting because Florence very wisely pointed out that a lot of attention has been given to the sex scenes. And I think she’s so right. I completely agree with her that it’s overshadowing everything else that the movie’s about, which is so interestingly ironic because one of the uses of sex in Victory is as a tool of distraction. When Florence pointed that out that this film is so much bigger and better than just the sex scenes, I was so happy that she said that because I feel the same way.”

Remind people she’s a good mom by pretending she doesn’t get papped with them and that she’s with them all the time, you just don’t know it.

“I share custody of my kids with my ex. If I’m photographed not with my kids, people assume I have abandoned them, like my kids are just somewhere in a hot car without me. The suggestion is that I have abandoned my role as a mother. You know why you don’t see me with my kids? Because I don’t let them get photographed. Do you know the lengths that I go to to protect my kids from being seen by you?”

And it goes on in the same ridiculous manner. Read it here. If you want. And don’t forget… she’s “dating” Harry Styles and “he” bought her this hat.

[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 2 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 8.9k

>>warnings: romantic ass eating 😐, oral (m), fingering (m/f), butt stuff but it’s SEXY, explicit sex, crying, jungkook likes to be praised, soft koo, dom reader... but like soft, spitting in mouth, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, this is so soft, that good smut, literally like 7.5k of filth

>>notes: hot girls eat ass!! oc is a hot girl!! this involves butt stuff (just mouth and fingers, no pegging 😔), so if that isn’t ur cup of tea just read pt 1 again lol, i separated it this way in case there were people who weren’t down to go down... iykyk. but with that said, i encourage u to open ur eyes and ur mind and give this a chance 🤩

>>summary: jk finally lets you eat his ass 😁👍🏻

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

It’s day 6 of trying to get Jeongguk to let you eat his ass. It’s getting hard to function, and the sun doesn’t shine as bright as it used to. The week has been a rough one, filled with clenched butt cheeks, and fewer blow jobs than normal. You just can’t seem to stop yourself from wandering south when you’re down there, so you’ve lost the privilege. Constantly met with Jeongguk’s laughter filled eyes when he pulls you up to where you’re supposed to be, and a “You should not want to eat my ass this bad.”

He just doesn’t understand.

Currently you’re sat in the cafeteria with your friends, your eyes consistently roaming to a table across the large room. He’s laughing at something and his hands are clapping in front of him as he throws his head back. You rest your head on your arms, pouting, and you breathe a deep and miserable sigh.

“Alright y/n what the fuck?” Your friend Yuna says, flicking your cheeks.

Her speaking up causes a few of your other girlfriends at the table to direct their attention towards you. “Yeah, you’ve been like... pouty for the last few days. What’s going on?” Cho questions as well.

You debate keeping the silly internal struggle to yourself before giving in and stating plainly, “Gguk won’t let me eat his ass.” You blow absently at a piece of hair that falls into your face, eyes crossing as you look at it. Next to you, Jiwoo chokes on the zero cal drink that she’s been sipping.

Yuna stares at you blankly for a moment before recovering. “That’s... well that’s a predicament.” She hums in thought. “Does he actually not want to or is he just being shy and stubborn?”

“Second one.” You say. You’ve known your boyfriend for years and you’ve definitely learned how to tell when he’s being serious and when he’s just being stubborn. If you really thought he wasn’t about it you would have dropped it. But you know Jeongguk’s just being difficult because he thinks it’s funny to make you pine, and actually has at least some curiosity about the act. He just won’t admit it.

“Minjun was the same way,” Cho nods in solidarity. “But he likes it now.”

“How’d you get him to change his mind?” You ask perking up. A beacon of hope.

“We watched porn of it together.”

“That’s how I discovered it!” You gasp.

You pull your phone out to text your boyfriend.

you:

minjun let’s cho eat his ass 🥺

You watch Jeongguk from across the room and see the moment he receives the text. He searches the lunch room before his eyes land on yours and he let’s out an incredulous harsh laugh, before shaking his head slightly to himself. You glance at your phone and see the text bubble appear in your messages.

koo 🥴:

maybe he’ll let you eat it too 🥺

You gape at your phone and look at your boyfriend only to see him talking to his friends again. He gives you a side glance and you see his smile grow bigger as he tries to ignore you.

~~~

Jeongguk’s sitting at his lunch table picking at the food in front of him listening as Jimin rambles about the not-so-great grade he got on his latest science test. “Why the fuck do I need to know that the sun will make it too hot for life to exist on earth in a couple billion years? Not only will I be dead, but that is just anxiety inducing.”

His phone that’s vibrating on the table catches his attention, a picture message from you on the home screen. He gets a little excited at the sheer potential that a picture message has and opens it eagerly. Sure the chances of getting a titty pic when it’s mid-day and you’re both in the middle of a lunch cafeteria are small... but they are never zero.

When he opens the message and sees the picture, he laughs loudly before clapping his hand over his mouth to quiet himself.

baby 🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

He’s about to respond when Taehyung says, “Alright, you can’t keep laughing at your phone and not tell us what’s so funny.”

Jeongguk looks at the couple in front of him a trace of a smile still lingers on his lips. He shows them what you sent. “Y/n wants to eat my ass so bad.” He laughs to himself, going back to his phone.

“Are you not letting her?” Jimin asks.

Jeongguk sets his phone to the side before he gets to respond. It’s clear his friends are ready to have a conversation about it. “I don’t think so.”

Jimin and Taehyung look at each other and smirk. “Why not? It feels really good.”

He looks between them silently before asking, “You’ve done it?” He receives two nods.

“This one’s a real ass-muncher.” Taehyung says jerking a thumb at his boyfriend. Jimin swats at him.

“He says like that like its a bad thing and like he doesn’t cum from just my mouth and my fingers.” Jimin rolls his eyes.

Jeongguk tenses and turns a little red. A little tremor of heat coursing through his body at the thought of feeling so good that he could cum without even having a hand around himself. “Just from that? No dick touching? Is that even possible?”

“Oh to be straight and oblivious to the wonders of butt stuff.” Jimin pouts at him like he feels bad for him.

Taehyung on the other hand is a bit more helpful. He pops a fry in his mouth and talks with his mouth full, “It’s possible. We have like a button in our ass that’s like... magic. You know what a prostate is right?”

Jeongguk scoffs. “Obviously.”

“Okay well let her put her fingers and tongue in your ass then, if you know so much about it. Have you eaten hers?”

“Yeah I’ve had my tongue in every crevice of that girls body.” He’s nodding and smiling like he’s proud. He glances at you, and he sees you huddled next to your friend, looking closely at something on her phone, your long hair falling like a curtain over your shoulder, some pooling on the table. You look so pretty. You feel his stare, and look at him. Your smile is soft, and your lips pucker in a little kiss. Chuu.

“Right,” Jimin says bringing Jeongguk back to the topic at hand, “Well if she let you, and you’re open to it you should let her... like it will actually feel better for you than it probably did for her.” Jeongguk looks like he’s about to defend his honor and sex skills, before Jimin cuts him off, “Not saying you didn’t do it right or whatever. It’s just that guys are like programmed to like it... like biologically or- something.”

“Or something.” Jeongguk repeats.

“Why don’t you want to in the first place? Is it because you think it’s gay?” Taehyung asks laughing, knowing that that’s not why.

Jeongguk gives him a bored deadpanned stare. “No. Maybe it’s because I shit out of my ass and don’t want her mouth near it? She’s perfect, she doesn’t deserve that.”

Jimin cackles. “Well it’s not like you just let her go for it! You have to prepare.”

Jeongguk sits and listens as his friends give him nothing less than a full comprehensive lecture on the logistics of ass eating and ass getting ate. Ass 101. He’s still unsure but hearing from guys who have actually done it and enjoyed it makes him feel a bit more open and curious. It has him pulling out his phone and tentatively typing out a text to you, finally replying to the picture you sent.

me:

i’m thinking about it

He watches you, waiting for the text to get to you. He smiles when he sees you get excited at seeing his name on your home screen, something warm blossoming in his chest. He struggles to keep his face straight when he sees your head whip up, looking at him wide-eyed like you can’t believe what he just texted you. His fingers wiggle in a small wave, and the biggest smile slowly crawls across your face. He receives one last message before lunch ends.

baby 🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

say less, sir 🤤

~~~

Jeongguk lays on his back patiently, looking down at you below him while you take your time planting soft kisses all the way down his body. He was in a quite docile mood considering all the pestering you’ve put him through the past few days. And despite what you both knew you had planned for him. Something he claimed to be nervous about, but you supposed one could be nervous and excited and pliant all at once.

When you take one of his nipples into your mouth he lets out a soft “oh...” his hands flying up like he wants to wrap them in your hair, hold you there till he’s pleased, but he catches himself when his arms are halfway raised. He brings them back down by his sides, fists the sheets like he’s holding himself back, like he wants to be good for you. As you lick and suck on the paired nipple, feeling it pebble in your mouth, you watch  Jeongguk’s mouth fall open silently while his eyebrows furrow and a wrinkle of pleasure forms between them. His cock is steadily going from warm and plump to hot and hard and leaking, you can feel it twitch against your lower belly.

He opens his eyes to watch you and you can see his pupils are blown and you smile up at him, a tiny bud still pulled between your teeth and Jeongguk whines. A high pitch needy, breathy noise falls from his lips before he pulls his bottom one between his teeth. His head turns to the side, baring his neck in subconscious submission, and God. He doesn’t get like this often but when he does? He is the prettiest sight.

Heat pools in your belly and your panties are already sticking to your bottom half. You hum before moving your ministrations to his torso, soft wet open mouth kisses being placed any and everywhere, prolonged ones on each of his abs. He works so hard for his body, his physique. It’s something he does for himself, but you feel lucky that you get to see him like this in all of his glory.

“Thank you.” You say as you place a kiss on the tattoo he has on his hip bone.

He hums, “For what?”

“For letting me see you like this,” You finally wrap a hand around his cock. You bite your lip when you feel it jump in your palm, “For letting me explore today. You’re so sexy, and so lovely, and so perfect. You work so hard, baby.” Kisses, so many kisses planted over his groin area, but never where he wants it most.

He huffs and you can see a flush from embarrassment darken the already present flush of arousal, due to the praise and mention of exploring. He squirms in your hold, not wanting to talk, probably wishing you would just get on with it already. Surely you can feel him throbbing in your hand, right?

Finally, you bring your lips to his frenulum and place the softest kitten lick to it and Jeongguk positively keens in your hold. You stroke his cock, squeezing on the upstroke to watch a bead of precum well at the top. It glistens, shiny and clear, at the pink head. You wrap your lips around the tip fully, lapping and swirling your tongue over it, humming at the heady, slightly bitter taste on your tongue. It’s not particularly pleasant per se but it’s sexy. The fact you get him so worked up that his cock can’t help but leak, so worked up that he can’t help the soft little whines that fall from his lips; the fact that he gets so turned on and hard and wet just from a few of your kisses and licks makes you moan with his cock in your mouth, thighs squeezing together for some type of pressure and relief.

You pop off with a harsh suck. “I can’t wait to taste you.” You groan, licking a broad stripe up his cock with the flat of your tongue.

He grumbles quietly shifting, sort of like he’s antsy and frustrated. He knows what you mean and he knows you don’t mean his cock that you just had in your mouth.

“What was that?” You ask through a smile, nipping at his hip with your teeth.

“Can you stop talking about it and just suck my dick so I can forget you’re even gonna do that?” He rolls his eyes and pouts down at you with a tiny scowl on his face.

“Oh baby,” You laugh, not patronizingly, but there is a little bit of a teasing lilt to your voice, “Are you still embarrassed?”

He doesn’t answer, just scowls harder if that was even possible.

You move away from his cock, and up his body. His eyes reflect panic and his hands finally move from the sheets to press on your shoulders, trying to keep you in place. “No, stay,” he whines.

You laugh again pushing against his hold before finally settling half on his chest. You rest a leg over his thigh, keeping your body close and pressed to his. You look into his big brown doe eyes that are slightly glassy from all the teasing. You can see some apprehension and nervousness swimming in them as you place a hand on his cheek, stroking softly. He closes his eyes and nuzzles into your palm before his hand comes up to hold your wrist, to just touch some more. His other hand runs up and down your body that’s resting half on top of him, tickling slightly like your the one that needs attention. He kisses your hand that’s on his cheek softly before looking at you again.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” You say quietly, thumb brushing over his cheek bone.

His eyes fall closed again and you can see his brow furrow once more, though this time it isn’t out of pleasure it’s because he’s thinking. Despite all the playful teasing and pestering and banter, you’ve always made sure to check that he was actually okay with you going down there. And, yeah, he was nervous but after talking about it seriously and doing some research together he always said he was fine with it. But you know things can change in the moment and you just want to double check, make sure that he still feels that way.

You hum in question gently, prompting a response.

He huffs, tightening his grip on your wrist, a nervous gesture. His eyes are still closed when he quietly says, “No I just... I- I’m not like backing out...”

“You can though.” You interrupt.

His eyes open quickly, and he shakes his head. “No, no I want to I just...” His voice starts off strong but tappers into a softer tone. “I want to I just feel a bit like... weird.”

Your brow furrows this time. “Why, baby?”

“I feel like I shouldn’t want you to.” He doesn’t meet your eyes and you can feel his cheek heat up in your palm.

Ahhhh, you think. Although you talked and teased about the topic, you realize that while Jeongguk agreed (whilst impishly feigning a faux diswant on principle) you never realized that the lighthearted “You shouldn’t want to eat my ass this bad” remarks may have stemmed from something serious, and weren’t just playful protests.

“Why do you feel that way?” You press gently.

His eyes flicker to you and then to your mouth, then back to something (nothing) off to the side. He has a small not-so-amused smile on his lips when he says, “It’s kinda taboo isn’t it?”

You can’t help but giggle at the word he used. Taboo. Out of all the things you guys have done, this is what he chooses to get shy about. Sweet boy.

“Not any more tabooo than you wanting to eat my ass, or fuck my ass.” You hum at him, stretching out the word in a teasing manner, making him look at you. You smile at him before continuing, “Or you like slapping me, or me gagging you with my panties, or-“

“Okay okay! I get it.” He laughs and places a kiss to your lips to get them to stop moving.

You beam, glad to see he’s a bit more relaxed. The boner however, is definitely gone, but that can be fixed.

“I’m not trying to convince you though.” You emphasize, “I only want to if you want to.”

He nods, softly smiling at you. “I want to.”

A salacious grin takes over your face and you sigh softly into his ear before whispering, “Perfect... I’m going to make you feel so good baby, make you feel so good with my tongue. Get you all whiny and red and sweaty. Maybe your legs will start to shake from how good it feels? Do you want that, Jeongguk?” You nip at his ear lobe as you feel a slight tremor run through his body. Your hips subtly roll against the side of his body, seeking any friction at this point. You feel him nod. “Maybe if you like my mouth enough we can use fingers when you’re ready baby.” You hear him suck in a sharp breath and slowly let it out on a shaky exhale. You grin and place a kiss to his temple before continuing. “Get them inside of you to find that spot that will really set you off. The spot that will make you cum for me. Wouldn’t that feel so good baby?”

He nods again and you can feel the hand that has been running up and down your back throughout the conversation grip at your ass roughly.

“Say it baby, I wanna hear you.”

He whines and struggles against the hand on his face that is now gripping his jaw, still putting up a little bit of a fight about wanting something he considers “taboo”. But he gives in easily enough when he realizes you won’t continue until you get more confirmation that he genuinely wants this, and is excited to have it.

“It’s gonna feel so good y/n. God, you’re gonna make me feel so good.” He’s shy when he says it, but he’s almost panting as well. At last, he’s giving in and admitting to himself that this is something that will feel good and is okay to want.

He grips your face and kisses you. It starts slow and tentative but quickly manifests into a kiss that is deep and hard, one that is full of lust and neediness. He bites at your lip needing to release some of the pent up frustration but at your whine of pain he licks over it apologetically, placing softer kisses instead for a moment before he rests his forehead against yours, both your breathing is ragged for a minute until he speaks up.

“Please y/n. I’m so hard.” He pleads in a soft whisper.

You take a second and look down between your bodies and sure enough, his cock has returned to full hardness, and your mouth waters seeing even more precum welling at the tip than before.

“I’m gonna suck it.”

“Please do.” Jeongguk laughs as you move down his body, but the laugh goes high pitched and breathy when you take him down your throat immediately.

“Fuck...” he sighs, his head falling back and eyes fluttering.

You pull off and close your eyes, relishing in the fact that you can make him feel like this. Grinning against his cock you place a kitten kiss to the shaft. “Good baby?”

He nods his head. “Yes yes, please keep going.”

You hum against the head causing Jeongguk to exhale sharply, hips twitching due to the vibrations. He’s so sensitive and you crave the reactions you pull from him. Whether they’re the soft noises and the small twitches or the loud moans and jerking muscles, they are all equally loved and desired.

Quickly you pull off and reach up placing your hand under his mouth, before he can protest at you pausing again. Maybe you’re being a little mean, but he sounds so pretty when he’s desperate and you just can’t help yourself.

“Spit.” You instruct.

You see him work his jaw, sharp edges protruding here and there while he gathers some in his mouth before spitting it into your hand. You peck a nipple on the way back down to his cock wrapping the spit filled hand around him. You see him watching you and you hold eye contact as you gather some of your own and let it drool from your mouth landing on the tip of his cock. You swear you see his eyes go impossibly darker, his jaw clenching, hands turning to fists in the sheets beneath you both.

When you stroke, mixing everything, his eyes close and he lets out a breath through his nose as he rests back and gets a little more comfortable. It’s not too messy, just the perfect amount of wetness for the glide to be slick and pleasing for him. You tighten your grip and twist under the head watching as the muscles in his stomach and thighs tense, a soft grunt draws your gaze to his face.

“Yeah... like that...” he whispers. He’s just barely rocking his hips into your hands, trying to be subtle while also trying to chase the feeling.

You speed up your hand, keeping up the movements he likes while adding your tongue to flick at the underside of his head. You glance at him and find him watching you again, a fucked out look on his face, mouth slightly parted and a bead of sweat running down his temple. Slowly you sink down watching him till you can’t anymore, burying the tip of your nose in the soft patch of neatly kept hair at the base of his cock. When you feel him hit the back of your throat you contract it and shake your head from side to side and finally, finally you pull out one of his loud and unrestrained moans. It goes straight to your pussy, making it feel like it’s pulsing in your panties.

You come up for a breath before you stay down as long as you can repeating the same actions that pulled the lovely moans from his throat and you continue to hear them as you feel him start to sink his hips, almost like he’s overwhelmed and trying to pull away from how good it feels, like he can’t handle how how good it feels.

In your peripheral vision you can see his hands twitching like he’s fighting with himself before he gives in and sinks them into your hair, pulling slightly before pushing your head down and bringing his hips back up. He’s not fucking your face, but he let’s his cock sink as far back as it can and let’s you work your throat around him, lets himself get overwhelmed instead of pulling away from the feeling like he was before.  

Jeongguk was a head pusher in every sense of the term. Some people hated when their partners did that, but you loved it. You loved it because Jeongguk was different from most head pushers. He had variety. Sometimes he liked pushing your head down and holding you there to choke you and watch tears form in your eyes, to watch your makeup run while you struggled to breathe. Sometimes he did it in a face-fucking way, his hips jackhammering while he moved your head up and down just the way he wanted it. This time though, he held your head down in a begging way. In a way that said “Oh god please, please don’t stop, it feels so fucking good, please stay there forever”.

Jeongguk is whimpering above you and you hum and moan loudly sending strong vibrations up your throat and down his cock and he’s thrashing, throwing his head back, grip in your hair tightening, a pleasant pain on your scalp.

“Oh my fucking god,” He groans, neck extended and his eyes squeezed shut.

His whole body is burning when you bring a hand down to massage his balls while still moving your throat against his tip and then all of a sudden he tenses and stills before he’s pulling you off, frantically chanting “Stop it, stop it.”

At lightening speed you grip the base of his cock, squeezing, trying to keep his orgasm at bay. Jeongguk’s whole body jerks with his cock, but no cum leaks out, only precum and spit making a mess on his angry, swollen cock. He relaxes back for a moment, cock still jumping, chest rising and falling as he catches his breath and you do the same and after you slowly release the hold you have on his cock you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

Suddenly your world is blurry and you’re quickly being pulled to his chest and smothered with his hands on your cheeks, and his lips everywhere they can reach.

“God. You’re so good, so so good y/n. So perfect, make me feel so good baby. How do you do it?” He praises you between kisses and you giggle, gently pawing at his chest to get him to stop or at least slow down.

He does and you take a second to look at him. And he’s glowing. His eyes are shining, like he was close to tears and his cheeks are flushed. His sweaty hair sticks to his forehead in places while the longer pieces are fanned out on the pillow underneath him. And his smile. He’s beaming and you are so in love.

You bring a hand up and brush some sweaty strands back off his face. His eyes close and he pushes into the touch like a kitten wanting pets. He sighs contentedly.

“You’re so beautiful, Jeongguk. So pretty.” You whisper, placing a kiss to his forehead.

You bring your hand down from his hair and cradle his cheek, running your thumb over his plump, red bottom lip. You can see faint teeth marks underneath it from where he was biting it. His eyelashes flutter on his cheek as his eyes close and he sighs quietly before he nibbles on the fingertip with his front teeth and then takes the whole thing into his mouth, sucking on it. You gasp quietly, and apply light pressure pushing down on the wetness of his tongue prying his mouth open and he just lets you.

Your lips find his, and you dip your tongue into his open mouth before your hand moves to his jaw to keep it agape and you fuck your tongue into it.

“This is how my tongue is gonna fuck you...” you whisper.

He whines high and needy, and his hands move to cup your cheeks. You moan before settling over him more comfortably and pushing your soaked panties to the side before wiggling till his cock is settled between your lips.

The night was supposed to be about him, but you need something before you lose it. You move your hips in small little thrusts, the length of his cock rubbing deliciously over you clit. You both gasp into each others mouths. The hands on your ass encourage you, pressing into your cheeks and the small of your back whenever you thrust forward, and the thumbs on your hips push when you grind back.

“Holy fuck you’re so wet.” He’s says it like he’s in awe, like he can’t believe it. Like he hasn’t made you this way so many times before.

You rest your forehead on his while continuing to grind on his cock. “Love you like this...” You grip his jaw again and pry it open, even though you know he would open willingly if you just asked. You look in his eyes searching, before you feel him nod in your hold. You lean forward over his mouth and let some spit fall into it, he moans while he eagerly drinks it down.

His grip on your hips tightens and you feel his cock jerk against your clit, but he’s good. He doesn’t cum.

“I love it too... just not all the time... it’s- a lot. Overwhelming.” He whispers, and you coo.

“I know baby, you’re doing so well. Color?” You ask.

“Green.” He answers without hesitation.

You smile and kiss him. “Wanna keep going?”

He flushes when he nods his head. “Please.”

Once again you find yourself between Jeongguk’s legs. You play with his cock a little before smoothing your hands under his thighs, trying to gently push them up and back but he whines and resists.

“You have to let me see baby.” You say, a smile in your voice.

Jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath before slowly letting his legs fall apart.

You hum, before saying, “Hand me a pillow please.”

He’s confused but does as you ask, understanding when you tap the side of his cheek with instructions to lift his hips, pillow settling underneath his ass and lower back, propping them up a little.

You settle back down on your tummy, and open his legs again. Jeongguk says nothing but you can feel his body shaking a little with a constant tremor. He takes a deep breath settling back into the pillow he placed behind his head so he can watch what you do next.

“Ready?” You ask, hands gripping at the meaty inside parts of his thighs. You get a stiff nod, but still no noises. You pout but get started by running your tongue flat over his balls, hoping to ease him into it.

You feel his thighs tense, as you lap at the hairless balls, sucking them into your mouth every once in a while. Your eyes constantly flicker to Jeongguk’s face to make sure there’s nothing wrong, but all you see is pleasure on his face while he breathes out in soft little puffs through his nose. His eyes are hooded and his lip is drawn between his teeth.

You hold his heady gaze and you place your first little lick on his perineum. At the contact, his head falls back, mouth hanging open. You wiggle closer to place a kiss to the area, transitioning to quick little flicks of your tongue and Jeongguk moans, and you watch as he spreads a bit more, lifting his feet so his knees are pulled closer to his chest, giving you easier access. You moan at his eagerness, and have to stop for a minute, putting a hand between your legs to just press on your center for some kind of relief.

His eyes are still closed, like he doesn’t want to see you between his legs licking at his most private area, but his quiet whining and restless shifting is enough to let you know that he’s okay and enjoying it.

You bring your hands up and place one on each of his cheeks, squeezing a little, admiring the soft give of his muscles. He’s so plush. You apply pressure so his legs fall farther back and then spread him apart. You bite your lip and your mouth waters at the thought of how good your going to make him feel.

Tentatively you poke your tongue out and trace it around the little ring of muscle. He gasps and tries to clench and close his legs but you hold them in place.

“It’s okay baby.”

“‘S weird...” He mumbles.

“I know. Just try to relax for me, okay?”

You hear him take a few deep breaths before you feel his body shake with a nod. His legs fall open again and you make quick work of his hole, placing your tongue flat over it, dragging all the way up to where his balls meet his perineum.

“Ohhh,” He breathes out.

You take that as a good sign before getting a bit rougher with your actions, less of the tentative licks and more of some tight sucking and quick flicking. He’s doing so well and you can hear him moaning above you. His cock is so hard and swollen on his belly, neglected and leaking.

“Pull your legs back baby.”

He opens his eyes and they are unfocused. It takes him a second to process what you asked him to do, but once he does he moves quickly. He has a hazy look in his eyes, his mouth in parted slightly, and his tongue peaks out to wet his lips as he gets comfortable in the new position.

“Watch me?” You plead, while licking over his hole again, eyes not leaving him waiting for a response.

His eyes close for just a moment and a wrinkle of pleasure forms between his brows and his cock jumps, a little spurt of precum oozing out. He inhales and opens his eyes on the exhale, breathing out a small “Okay.”

Once you start to figure out what he likes and what makes him happy, all you hear is the steadily getting louder pleased noises falling from his lips. You point your tongue and gently push past the tight ring of muscles and Jeongguk sobs. He brings a hand to his face and rubs over it, before throwing his arm over his face, hiding because he’s so overwhelmed. To your surprise he starts to gently rock against your tongue.

“Oh my god you’re so hot Jeongguk,” You moan.

“Don’t stop,” He begs. He sounds close to tears.

“Touch yourself, baby.”

You wait until you see his hand wrap around his cock giving himself a few slow strokes, wet eyes on you, waiting for you to keep going.

As soon as your mouth meets him again, his hand he has on his cock starts moving faster, almost frantically over his length and his hips are stuttering like he doesn’t know if he wants to fuck his hand or if he wants to fuck himself back onto your tongue. You decide for him and hold his hips close to your face, sucking repeatedly on the ring of fluttering muscle.

Jeongguk gasps, “I’m close, I wanna cum y/n- Please, I-“ His head falls back and his hand doesn’t slow.

You give your hum of approval against his hole, and watch him fall apart.

His head is thrown back and he’s so sweaty from working so hard for his release. His chest rises and falls in quick staccato breaths, and his free hand goes up to a nipple, lightly rubbing his thumb over it and he keens, before he goes silent, whole body stuttering and he chokes out nothing more than a quick, quiet “Cumming” before his cock pulses and shoots out 1, 2, 3 stripes of white, the rest dribbling down his length and over his fingers. His body almost convulses from the pleasure coursing through his veins. He keeps stroking, and he lets you keep licking until he squirms, uncomfortable from the overstimulation.

You wipe your mouth and immediately make your way up to his face, straddling his hips. You don’t care about the cum, but you’re carful to avoid his sensitive cock, which is a little deflated but still laying somewhat hard on his tummy. You’re both out of breath when you slam your lips against his so it’s more gasping into each other’s mouths while your lips occasionally meet before you need a breath again. But you’re desperate to show him how good he did.

You pull back and grip his face in your hands. His hands hold your wrists, like he’s keeping them in place on his cheeks. He’s still catching his breath with his eyes closed, but you want him to see how proud you are.

“Jeongguk, look at me.”

He does and his eyes are glassy and wet and his eyelashes are clumped together with unshed tears. He offers you a sheepish smile.

“You did so good baby. So fucking good. I love you.” You pepper kisses over his face.

He laughs breathlessly, “Didn’t get to your fingers...”

You laugh with him quietly. “That’s okay baby, we can do that next time. You were perfect.” You take a deep breath and collapse on top of him, resting your face in the crook of his neck, smiling while leaving small lovebites all over.

After a minute or so though, you feel him start to get restless underneath you.

“What is it baby?” You ask not really moving much.

He mumbles something into the top of your head.

“Huh?” You say sitting up to look at him.

He looks kinda petulant for someone who just came so hard it hit their neck.

He mumbles again.

“Koo. Words.”

He blushes and scowls looking away from you but the hands settled on your hips rub small circles into your hip bones, showing he’s not actually mad and most likely just being a brat.

“I want them now.” It’s quiet and pouty, but at least you understand him this time.

Your mouth opens in understanding but your eyebrows raise in surprise. You look over your shoulder and down to see his cock still laying plump and hard on his stomach in a little puddle of cum.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to, I know we said that was the plan but we can always do it ano-“

He grabs the back of your neck pulls you down to kiss you deep and slow, his tongue finding it’s way into your mouth. When he speaks again it’s soft against your lips.

“Please y/n... it felt so good,” A tiny peck is given as your noses touch.

You exhale a shaky breath, “Yeah, okay. If that’s what you want.”

He kisses you deeply again, but positions you over his cock so he can rut up into your pussy.

“Can’t you feel how bad I want it?” He whispers against your lips. He nips at the bottom one while smiling before pulling away and settling against the pillows again, looking at you expectantly once he gets comfortable.

You roll your eyes playfully. “Big words coming from someone who claimed they didn’t even want this like an hour ago.” You smile down at him, eyes sparkling.

He snickers. He breathes a deep sigh before settling back even more. “Yeah. That was before I came so hard that I almost blacked out.” His hands are behind his head and his eyes are closed like he’s reminiscing about a distant memory, a smug smile on his lips.

“You switch from being my baby to a pain so fast.” You pout as you settle once again between Jeongguk’s legs.

He parts them with a hum. “Still your baby... just- make me feel good please, I’m like so hard- throbbing.”

You suck on your fingers a little bit to get them wet before circling one around the ring of muscles. You don’t miss the tiny gasp, or the way his legs subconsciously part even wider.

“I don’t think it’s gonna feel the best at first....” You warn, applying the slightest pressure to his hole, before going back to circling it. “Hand me the lube on the nightstand please.”

Jeongguk obliges before he says, “I know just... go slow.” He sounds just a little bit nervous.

You give a quick nod while you open up Jeongguk’s half empty bottle of lube and drizzle some onto your fingers, lathering it over them to warm it some before getting them into position.

“Do you think about me when you use this?” you ask still running your slick fingers over him.

He nods and licks his lips subconsciously. “Mhmm sometimes.”

You fake gasp and bite at his knee by your side. You’re sitting crisscross applesauce in between his legs. “Only sometimes?”

“I watch porn too,” He giggles breathlessly. “Sometimes I look for girls that look like you though, if that helps.”

“It does not.” You say indignantly, only half joking.

He brings his foot up and lightly kicks at your leg. “You watch porn too that’s literally why we are in this mess right now. We watched it together.”

You full on laugh at that. He has a point. “Okay enough, hush and relax baby.”

You weren’t sure if it was better to warn Jeongguk, or just slowly ease him into it without saying anything. If you warned him you knew he would tense up and it would just make it harder on his body, but you also didn’t want to take him by surprise either.

You must have just been circling his rim for a minute because Jeongguk huffs before asking, “Are you gonna like... put it in or...?”

You take that as a go, and peck the inside of his thigh a preemptive apology because you knew it was going to hurt a little. Jeongguk had prepped you for the times you tried anal with him and you vividly remember the sting before it became bearable. Your hands and fingers were much smaller than his, and certainly much smaller than his cock, so you are hoping the pain isn’t too horrible and ends quickly.

Oh so slowly you start to sink your middle finger inside of him. He sucks in a breath through his teeth and when you flick your eyes up to look at him you can see his eyes squeezed shut tightly and his jaw clenched.

“I’m sorry are you okay? Does it hurt?”

He shakes his head. “Doesn’t really hurt yet, it’s just uncomfortable... Keep going.”

You nod softly before you resume what you were doing, and once you get down to your last knuckle, you wiggle your finger around inside for a second like you had seen in the porn that you and him watched together, hoping to stretch him out some.

Above you Jeongguk is taking shallow breaths the sort of sound like they are getting a little higher pitched at the end, and he shifts and wiggles a bit because of the foreign feeling. You glance at his cock and see that’s its gone just a little soft.

“Touching yourself might help you relax a little bit and it might make it feel a little bit better.” You suggest lightly.

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything but he does as he’s told, slowly stroking his cock back to it’s full length.

“That’s it, good boy. I can feel you’re less tense already.” You praise, and you start to move your finger in and out. It’s tight, but there’s a lot less resistance. You move them just a bit faster and focus on Jeongguk’s reactions.

His hand has started to move a bit faster over his cock, and his mouth is parted and his eyes are closed, like he’s lost in the feeling. There’s a flush on his face that has travelled all the way down his chest. Soft moans fall from his lips occasionally, although you can’t tell if that’s from you or him touching himself.

“Does it feel good?” You ask, genuinely curious.

“It feels…” He pauses like he’s unsure. “It feels… nice. I think.”

You snort. “You think?”

He laughs a little breathless, hand still stroking over his cock. “I mean it’s weird. But it’s not unpleasant. I could probably cum if I kept touching my dick.”

“Don’t cum, I haven’t found your button yet.” Your eyebrows furrow, determination set on your face.

“I do not have a button.” He says absently.

“You do. I’m gonna do the second one kay?”

“I don’t and okay.”

You ignore him and grab the lube again, adding a bit more. Your fingers find their place and as they start to sink in, Jeongguk sucks a sharp breath through his teeth, and goes rigid. You wince.

“Hurts…” He says quietly.

“I’m sorry baby.” You rub your free hand over his thigh, trying to comfort him. You give him a moment, he takes a few breaths before saying to keep going.

It takes a little bit but eventually you get both fingers in. Jeongguk isn’t feeling good yet, teeth grinding, body tense, and hands fisted in the sheets trying to ground himself, but you are determined to make it good for him. You get on your stomach and add your tongue to your fingers as you start to pull them out just to push them back in. The lube doesn’t taste very good, but the way that Jeongguk’s breath hitches when he feels your mouth on him again makes up for it.

“I- I love that.” He says, voice airy and soft as he turns his head to the side and into his shoulder like he’s trying to hide.

“Mmm, starting to feel good now baby?” You ask, flicking your tongue while your fingers start to sink in easily.

“Yeah, ‘s good…” He mumbles.

Once you’re sure that there’s no pain at all for Jeongguk, you start to crook your fingers inside of him on every thrust in trying to find that secret spot of his. Jeongguk sounds lovely while you’re searching, but the way he sounds when you finally hit it is like nothing you’ve heard from him before. It’s like he gets punched in the gut and looses his breath, a moan getting caught in his throat for a moment before he exhales a high pitched whine. You didn’t get to see it, too focused, but you know his eyes rolled back.

“There,” he breathes.

You moan as you rest your head against his thigh, focusing on your attention on your fingers and hitting that spot every time you move them inside of him. Each time you hit it sweet moans are punched out, or quiet affirmations are whispered. “Yes, please, more…”.

He has that look of pleasure on his face, the scrunched eyebrows, the parted mouth. He’s fidgety, and fussy like he just wants more but doesn’t know how to get it. He huffs, annoyed, before he starts to push back on your fingers.

“God… you’re so desperate for it,” You whisper completely captivated by how much pleasure Jeongguk looks like he’s in.

He doesn’t acknowledge you. Until you start to put a constant pressure on his prostate, rubbing.

“Oh fuck- I-“ He looks down to where your fingers are like he can’t believe the way they are making him feel before he throws his head back and let’s out a deep groan.

He lets you make him feel good, let’s the pleasure build up in his body until you start to feel him tense. His whines start to come out more frequently, almost constant moans filling the air. So noisy. His legs open more and you see how his toes curl in the sheets.

“Oh my god I think I’m gonna cum,” It’s said breathlessly, almost confused. Like he didn’t think that he would actually be able to cum just from your fingers inside of him, hands still at his sides fisted in the sheets.

“Yeah baby?” You ask, voice airy.

He nods, tongue poking out of his mouth like he’s concentrating.

Your arm hurts, but you keep thrusting and rubbing over that spot inside of him. His muscles are strained, and next to your body, you can see his legs start to tremble. His breathing is fast and short. His cock is fat and swollen laying in a puddle of precum, it looks like it hurts with how red it is. You take you other hand and start to rub on his perineum, stimulating him on the outside as well as the inside and that’s when he loses it.

He let’s out a choked cry before his body jerks up, curling in on itself. “Oh fuck I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I’m cumming-“

You don’t let up, an awestruck smiling forming on your face as you watch Jeongguk fall apart on your fingers. He’s so tight around them, it’s like his body is begging you not to stop, keeping you in place. He feels like every hair on his body is standing on end and like his skin is overly receptive and sensitive to every little thing. Wave after wave of ecstasy is flowing over him. His whole body trembles, yet his cock doesn’t jerk like with his other orgasm. This time it just pulses flat on his stomach, cum leaking out of the tip adding to the mess that was already there. With every pulse of his cock, Jeongguk’s body curls more, back raise off the bed, abs flexed due to the strain on his core. The look on his face is one of indescribable pleasure. It’s obscene. After the final pulse of his cock, he falls back, absolutely spent.

Your fingers slowly come to a stop, and you carefully remove them from him and wipe them on the bed before you crawl over his thigh and flop down by his side. You peck his cheek, staying quiet this time, not wanting to overwhelm him. He’s still has tremors running through his body when he turns his head to look at you. His chest is heaving and his eyes are droopy, but there’s a sleepy smile on his lips. He curls onto his side so you guys are facing each other.

The silence is thick and heavy but not in a suffocating way. More so in a comforting way. The atmosphere feels like you both are wrapped in a weighted blanket, just relishing in the warm afterglow of what you did together.

You wiggle closer, hook a thigh over his hip. “How was it? Did you like it?” You don’t know why but you sound shy, kinda nervous.

He simply nods, a soft smile on his face as he brushes some hair behind your ear, hand coming to rest on your cheek for just a few seconds before it’s sliding down your arm, down your hip, playing with lacy top of your panties. He bumps noses with you, breathing in your exhales before he closes his eyes and fits his lips between yours. His hand slips into your panties.

You open easily for him, angling yourself mostly on your back so it’s easier for him to reach where you want him most. He sighs into your mouth when he feels how wet you are. He dips between your lips and you gasp, hand going down to grip at his wrist willing him not to tease, to not move his hand away.

“Don’t worry, I just wanna make you feel good baby.” He coos in your ear as his middle finger starts to rub slowly over your clit.

You let out soft whimpers at the slow pace that makes the fire in your belly curl and steadily grow.

“Jeongguk, I’m already close…” You warn.

“Mmm, that’s it baby. Want you to cum for me, like I came for you.” His finger speeds up some. “Fuck, you made me cum so hard y/n. Made me crazy. You always do.” He moans gently into your ear.

You nod, and your legs begin to tremble. “Don’t stop,” You beg, meaning both his fingers and his words.

“You wanna know what it felt like? You wanna know what you did to me?” He presses a touch harder, and nips are your cheek.

You nod again, subtly rocking your hips into his touch.

“You made me cum untouched y/n. Do you know how good you had to fuck me in order for that to happen? God, it was so intense, and I was just leaking so much the whole time. You did that to me baby, you made me feel that good. Fuck, I wanna make you feel that good too, please cum for me y/n. I know you’re close, I know your body just as well as you know mine.” He sounds desperate, just yearning to get you there. “I can tell by the way your legs are shaking, and the way you can’t stop whining my name. Sound so pretty baby, just for me. Your hand on my wrist is gripping so hard, like you can’t take what my fingers are doing to you. But you’re gonna take it and give me what I want right? Just like I gave you what you wanted, hmm?”

“Fuck, Jeongguk I’m cumming,” You cry, his words and his fingers making you shake and finally get the release that you’ve been putting off the whole night. Your thighs close over his hand but Jeongguk doesn’t let up, not until you’re cumming for the second time in a span of minutes.

“Please- I can’t-“ You squirm, and wiggle, until his fingers slow and finally slip form your panties. You sigh in bliss, body twitching as the last bits of your climax leave your body.

You turn back to your side and snuggle all the way against Jeongguk’s body, legs intertwining. Jeongguk runs his nails over your back, making little goosebumps sprout over your body. There’s a peaceful quiet coming over you, both tired from the events of the night. Jeongguk breaks it.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” It’s a timid statement, but you can hear how much he means it.  

You kiss softly over his heartbeat. “I always will.”

“Just please don’t ever ask to peg me.”

You simply hum. “Goodnight baby.”

------------------------

i hope you liked it!! i’m thinking of writing a smutty drabble of when oc and jk watch the porn together 🤨 let me know if you would want to read that or anymore of this universe! comments, notes, and feedback are YEARNED for. my ask is also open if you want to request, share thoughts, or just talk

part 3 here!

[lunaekalenda]

𝖓𝖚𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖎𝖛𝖊

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eren x fem!reader

suggestive conversations, teacher x student mention, smoking, alcohol, mention of love triangle, reiner doesn't have an easy life, characters are aged up and they correspond to the last season, modern au, eren being a tease, nsfw once they get to the party, dirty talking, reader may have a degradation kink, slapping, finger-sucking cause that's my sign, neck grabbing, rough composure, really long fic and really long warnings, size kink, wall sex, consensual relation, reader is tiny next to eren, kneejob (does that exist?), use of words like fucktoy, doll, slut; dom!eren x sub!reader, goddess i’m getting scared bc of the quantity of warnings, unprotected sex (don’t be like eren), oral (m receiving), consensual filming,, author is horny half of the drabble, please correct me in any errors! sex scenes are really bad written sorry

a/n: yeah... i don't know what i'm doing someone pls tell me to stop. as always, very welcome criticism and minors please do not interact!!

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"Jaeger, Eren." The teacher says his name and he gets up, loose clothes and his lazy bun on the back of his head giving him that attractive visual he has. Girls look at him with interest and boys with envy. After all, they all want to be like him, date him, be his friends. Be near him is something to be grateful for half the university students. What a bunch of idiots.

His tall body reaches the professor table, were he leans on, receiving the paper that acredites his graduation. A smirk on his face, directed to your young teacher, makes your friend Pieck sigh on the chair next to you. "He has for sure fucked her." she says. You look to the teacher expression, a smile just for him while he raises just the corners of his lips to her. You look to the paper on your hands. It's your last day. You're finally graduating. University is just another closed door for you. The last people take their diplomas quickly, the teachers giving their typical emotional discourses before releasing you to the campus yard. Reiner gets closer to your group, his arm around your shoulders as he smile for all of you.

"Today. Tonight." he corrects himself. "There's a party and, as the captain of the Waterpolo team, I'm the host." he says, a smile on his lips reaching his kind eyes. "You're all invited, of course. VIP invitations" Winking to all of you and gaining a giggle from Pieck, Reiner moves his head to a whistle. Bertholdt calls him from the door of the swimming pool, and Reiner leaves, smiling at you.

"I'll see you there?" he asks, a huge smile on his face. You can't help but smile back at him while you nod. Reiner leaves running the yard and Porco smiles at you, a joke about to escape his lips. You two have been friends time enough to know every single expression of the other.

"He does like you." he says, instead. Something serious for the first time in your friendship. Someone hits him with a paper when he was about to add something.

"You're finally out." Porco's big brother, Marcel Galliard, who works as the waterpolo trainer, takes his brother by the arm. "And out of the pics if you stay here, come on." He takes Porco with him, both of them leaving in Reiner's direction. Pieck smiles at you, about to comment something about Reiner, and you search your phone. It isn't there. Fuck.

"Pieck, I've lost my phone." you say, her face changing to a concerned expression. You touch every pocket and every place you've could have put it, without gain. Even she searches on the little handbag she's carrying. You remembered to take a pic with Pieck on the terrace and had to fix your shoes. You probably forgot it there. "Shit. Is the Uni still open, right?" Pieck nods quietly. Annie turns around to look at you. "Coming back real quick, wait for me here, please."

You make your way upstairs to the latest floor of the Univeristy, a terrace where teachers liked to go and smoke or drink their coffees between classes. "How can I forget my phone there? Am I dumb?" you think for yourself. There are just a few stairs left. You find Armin on your way. His short blond hair and his big blue eyes are recognizable everywhere.

"Congratulations." he says, that gentle smile on his face. "We finally graduated." You smile at him back, nodding.

"We did, Min." you say. Armin was in the same class as you, and he's really nice to you. Being paired in a couple works has made your friendship grow little by little, and you can consider him a friend now. It's ironical how he's Eren's best friend, even when the two of them have been seen parted for a while. He looks at you, his eyes following your way. "You go to the terrace?" he asks. You nod. He hums and looks upstairs, as if he was making sure something.

"Forgot something there, but it will take a minute." Armin nods and you keep going. Opening the big door, that is casually still open, the wind shakes your hair and your dress. You see your phone on the chair you sat earlier, while taking the pic, and you're fast to take it. Fortunately, it does have battery and it seems as nobody has touched it. You turn around, ready to go down to meet your friends, when you listen femenine giggles and sound of wet kisses. Gross. Is somebody using the rooftop to fuck? In the university? You shake your head. But your legs don't move. Your head searches unconsciously the place where the voices are coming from. You want to know who they are. Another giggle. Another kiss. A quiet sigh, the sound of fabrics. "Come on, move, move." You say to yourself. The woman speaks. "Now that you graduated..." Isn't that your teachers voice? With a student? You remain silent, trying to hear him. You hear a sigh. A manly and long sigh.

"Now that I graduated I have no reason to come here." You know that voice. That deep, raspy tone and that way of talking. Your brain searches quickly who does that voice belong to.

"Come on, Eren." even when you where about to figure who was the mysterious boy, she says his name. You move your hand to cover your mouth, your phone ringing in that moment. Pieck's ID showing on the screen. "Fuck, fuck." you try to silence it in vain. They heard you. Eren sighs, a long sigh that is followed by high heels steps. She's searching you. You're there, on the middle of the rooftop, and she's going around, near the door, no way to escape for you. You search quickly a place to hide. Then, he talks again. "They probably left, hm?" he says. His tone is way deeper now. "But we should as well. Search another student next year. I won't come back here for you." he says. With angry steps, she leaves. You can see her shadow from behind the little maintenance shed. You hear then calm steps, a lighter and the combustion of a cigarette. Eren palms the shed metallic roof, scaring you.

"Having fun spying the others?" he says. The smoke comes out of his mouth when he kneels next to you. "I can bet you're wet with just hearing us making out." you look at him in his green eyes, without avoiding his gaze. He raises a brow, putting the cigarette again between his lips.

"This is a public space. It isn't for you to bring every single girl you want." you say. Eren lets out a little laugh.

"I had the teacher's permission." he says, jokingly. "Who do you think you are to question her permissions?" his lips part, letting the smoke escape quietly. He gets up, his tall body resting against the structure. He's attractive, and he knows it for sure. But, the moment he opens that damn mouth of his... He loses all his attractiveness and charm. You take your phone, ready to go down with your friends.

"I hope you have a good future, Eren Jaeger. See you."

"Later, baby. On Reiner's party." he says, a little smile on his lips. "I guess he had invited the girl he likes." you didn’t like that joking tone. 

"And why the hell would he invite you?" you ask. Eren slides his eyes down your body when you get up, your light dress moving with the wind, your hair getting messy and your challenging eyes looking directly at his. He entertains himself on your legs, how they looked smooth and good under the dress. And, surprisingly, he finds himself thinking of the sweet thing upper, covered by the dress and your underwear. 

"Because I'm on his waterpolo team." he says, his green irises going back to yours. Damn, true. He’s the point of the team. The offensive. The strongest one between them. 

"Then I hope we don't see each other." you say. Eren gets closer to you, smoke leaving his lips while he smiles jokingly at you again. You can smell the tobacco from your position, but you don’t want to move. You want to show him you can also keep his gaze. That you’re not intimidated by him.

"I'll be searching for you." he whispers. "After all, you stayed up here to see who I was making out with. Maybe you're jealous. But don't worry, i'll gladly show you what I did to her" You raise a brow this time, giving a couple steps back to put distance. You cross your arms on your chest. Eren smiles, taking the cigarette away from his lips.

"Search another girl. I'm sure a lot of them want your attention." you say. That makes Eren smirk. He walks a couple steps back, his back resting against the shed again. He throws the cigarette and steps on it. 

"You have a strong personality, not like all the others. I like it." his eyes are on yours, and you're not afraid to keep the visual contact with him. "You're different." he says. You take a couple steps near him, heading to the door. Palming his shoulder, you smile.

"Good job reading all that cliche books where you took that phrase. Now, I have to go." his hand grips your wrist. With a shake, you get free and, false smiling at him, you leave. Your heart is racing while you go downstairs, Eren is still on the terrace, giggling for himself. He found such an interesting one. You keep going downstairs until you reach the yard, Pieck's black hair and Annie's bun can be seen. You walk towards them, your phone ringing on your hand. It's Pieck again. She sees you a hangs up, walking towards you.

"You took forever, y/n" she says, showing you her phone. "I calles you a hundred times. What were you doing?" she asks. You don't want to discover the teacher and Eren and less on the campus. "I'll tell you later." you say. Pieck told you to have dinner and get ready for the party at her home, so the two of you start to walk, waving your hands at Annie, who was waiting for Armin. Eren comes out of the university as well. His gaze finds yours and he smiles at you, but it isn't a sweet smile. It’s a teasing one. You turn around and follow Pieck.

"Eren? I told you those two had something!" she says. You're tying your shoes while she applies rimmel on her lashes. She looks beautiful, with that golden tight dress that shines when she moves. You wanted to go with your graduation dress, but she quickly corrected you. "No, no, that dress is too beautiful for this type of party. You have to show what you have." she said. She lended you a red dress that fits you. It is beautiful, and you look good on it. She turns around. "Were they in the middle of it? What happened!" she asks. You blush.

"They were just kissing, i think. They kinda broke up." you say. Pieck nods quietly and looks again to the mirror, taking blush to her cheeks. You explain her that Eren talked to you after that.

"Oh, so he's going to the party?" she asks. You nod. "Porco told me he wasn't that interested, so he'll probably pass." You really hope Porco is right while you two walk to Reiner's house, a big duplex near the campus. You can hear music and people talking from the corner of the street. Reiner opens the door for you.

"Y/N!" he says, quickly hugging you. Pieck waves her hand at him. "Come on, girls, enter." he lets you in. There isn't a huge amount of people. Jean and Connie from the Waterpolo club are playing beer pong and Bertholdt is serving some drinks. You look around, but you don't know if you want to find him or make sure he isn't there.

It seems like Eren isn't there, for your luck. Bert gives you the drink you asked for and you thank him. There's a couple people talking near a speaker, another ones are playing on Reiner's TV and another ones are dancing. Reiner smiles.

"If you need anything, the rooms and the living room are up. There's a bathroom in that door and another one upstairs." he says. You smile at him. "I'll be around here if you need me." he says. You nod and he disappears, giving your arm a soft squeeze. Pieck tells you that she's going outside and you decide to stay inside. The juice with a little bit of vodka is kinda strong, but it tastes sweet. You hear a hum near you.

"What are you drinking?" you roll your eyes, turning around. Eren's tall body is there, smiling at you. He looks into your cup. "Juice?" he asks. You raise a brow.

"Do you care?" he lets out a melodious laugh. "Don't you have friends?" you can almost feel all the gazes in you. Envy gazes, surprise gazes. You know they're commenting. "How did she get his attention?" "Sure he's playing with some bad toys" You look at Eren.

"I do. But my interest tonight is in you." he tells. "After all, you deserve private representations of what we were doing, since you were that curious."

"Get lost, please."  you ask him. He smirks. Taking your cup, he smells it. He gives it back to you.

"Don't drink that much." he says. You look at him. Is he now giving you orders? Taking the cup to your lips, you drink under his gaze. He raises a brow when you take the cup away from your mouth. You weren’t going to get orders and less form a dork like him. Surprisingly, his thumb takes a drop that slides from your lips. He licks it.

"Tastes sweet." it's all he says, before disappearing. Did he just licked it? You put the cup on a near table and follow him outside. He's lighting a cigarette. He smiles at you when you arrive.

"What was that. What you did inside." you ask. He laughs.

"We can't waste alcohol, can we?" he says. He walks closer to you. His bun is still low and loose, and he's wearing his waterpolo team t-shirt with ripped black jeans. A big 5 in his t-shirt. The number he uses on the water. "Do you smoke?" he asks, offering you the cigarette. You shake your head. He raises a brow. "Wanna try?" he asks. You're not into that type of things but, maybe, the way his green eyes challenged you makes you nod. You want to show him you're capable. He gives you the cigarette. "Want me to teach you?" When he ended the phrase, you're coughing. He laughs. "Such an impatient girl, hm?"

 He takes the cigarette again, taking a puff, his lips right on the spot you stained with gloss. He gets closer. "Let me show you." his lips touch yours quietly and you feel the smoke flowing between your mouths, entering yours. You’re unable to move, even when he’s kissing you. It feels nice, feels warm and soft against your mouth, the smoke entering right from his parted lips. You want more. More of him. He parts. "Breath out quietly." Why are you following his orders now? You do it softly, his gaze on your lips while you do it. "Good girl." 

That was hot. You can't deny it. The way he passed the smoke to you, how he looked at you. Oh, goddess. He smiles, stepping on the cigarette. Your legs feel like jelly and your heart races when he gets closer.

"You liked it?" he asks, a sweet purr on your ear. You nod. You did. Now you get why everyone is always around Eren. He's naturally magnetic, attractive. He’s the type of person that bewitches, that makes you follow his orders even when you don’t want you. He can make you weak for you from just a single peck. "I know more tricks with my mouth than passing smoke" he says. That makes you cringe a little, get down of your bubble.

"You're so dirty minded." You say. Maybe he was starting to attract you, to make you fall for him. You won't. You need to go out. Far from him. Far before you fall.

"I was starting to have fun." he whispers. You start to walk, heading to Reiner's house again. Eren follows you quietly. You've seen enough romantic films to know every single way he has to take you to his bed. You sigh. Inside, a lot of people is dancing. You also want to. Eren follows you quietly while you enter the improvised dance floor, a empty space between two sofas, moving to the song. It's hot inside Reiner's house, a stupid amount of people dancing together, bodies close and teasing movements. Maybe Eren tries to seduce you outside, but it is your time to make him beg for you. Moving your head and your body, you see him from th corner of your eye. He's there, behind you, his hands tingling. He wants to touch your body, that tiny red dress and that velvety skin. He wants to mark that exposed neck with his bites, tangle that hair with his fingers, feel you against him. You take one of his hands, putting it on your hips. He swallows.

"You're not that brave now." you whisper, without letting him hear you. His other hand finds your belly, going up to the low cut of Pieck's dress. His hand touches your skin, making you gasp. He gets close. "You won." he whispers on your ear, his hands sneaking, touching every showing skin he finds. You smirk, turning around. You're not aware of Reiner's sad gaze. "I won?" you ask. He smiles, his face getting closer, as if he wanted to kiss you. "Hmh." he hums. You smile at him, letting your body meet his really close, making you feel every part of Eren’s body. You raise a brow. "There's evidence of my win." you joke, Eren's lips curving on a teasing smile.

"You should take responsibility of your trophy." he feels your hands on his arms, making him sigh. He takes your hand and guides you upstairs. "Wait, Eren, wait!" you ask him. People look at you, going head to the second floor, your hand jailed on his. Almost everybody knows now what you two are going to do. "Eren, everybody will..."

"Let them talk. We can have a good time while they spend their last braincells making rumors." he says. He's kinda right. You shouldn't care of what people say or what people think. "But it is Reiner's house." you tell him. He smiles. 

"He lets me use the guest room to sleep. It's almost my room. My brother doesn't really like my company, I guess." he says. You feel bad for Reiner. He's such a sweetheart with you, and everybody thinks he likes you. And there are you, about to make out with Eren on his house. But you're drunk of him, of his smell and his skin, his deep voice and his green eyes. You can't help. You need him. He opens the room and lets you in. You don't have even time to see the room, feeling his lips on yours as soon as he closes the door, his hand sneaking behind your back to lock it. One of his arms rest above your head, against the wood, and the other pulls you closer to his body from your low back. His hand grabs your ass roughly, making you jump a little. He giggles against your mouth. His lips taste like tobacco and mint bubblegum. He parts.

"Are you drunk?" he asks. You shake your head. You take his hair on your hand, trying to make him cover your mouth again with his. He gives you a peck. "You want this?" he asks. Your hands search his chest, defined muscles under the team t-shirt. 

"I want you, Eren." you don't even know who you are. He has you crazy, begging for him and his kisses, feeling his hotness in your body. You want it. You want him. "Please.". His superiority smirk covers your lips again, your body arching to feel his closer, the grip on you harder, his other hand still on the door. He parts your lips quietly, the softer action of all he has done until now. You feel his tongue caressing yours quietly. It feels nice. His hand takes the border of your red dress, lifting it, asking for your consent. You nod at him, his hand moving it to your waist. He parts to look down, your underwear on his vision camp. He passes his tongue on his lips while his eyes scan that cute black panty you’re wearing. He likes it. Simple, something a cute innocent girl like you would wear. The thought arouses him. He’s going to ruin you, the sweet little girl that seems too tiny for him.

“What a precious panty, doll.” he hums, his knee going up until it meets the black fabric. Then, with a smirk, he makes pressure up, your body feeling his knee hot and hard against your wetness. You gasp and he smiles. “Such a desperate fucktoy.” he whispers, his lips near your open ones, your sighs every time he moves his knee against you. He likes that expression on your face. The way your cute lips are open in silent pleasure signs. He would love to watch them open around another thing, but he takes his free hand to your mouth, his long thumb caressing your lips before entering your mouth, pressing your tongue while you keep making that expression that has become his favorite. “Suck.” he asks. You obey, your mouth gently sucking his thumb, your tongue playing circles around it. He keeps that game on your cunt, making you lose your concentration on sucking his finger. He puts his knee down, you feel the emptiness between your legs. He takes his phone, tobacco pack and a lighter from his pocket, putting them on the near bed. Then, he takes your hands, guiding them to the fabric of his jeans. You understand what he wants and take the button off, then, unzipping his pants. They fall around his ankles, his muscled legs and his underwear is revealed. He sighs when your hand finds the bulge. You look at him again, spreading kisses on his jaw. His hand covers yours while you try to sneak it in his underwear. He sighs when he feels your cold hand against him, fine and elegant fingers taking his shaft softly. His head rests against the arm on the wall, your kisses going down his body. When you were about to kneel, he takes you up again.

“I’ll let you take a taste of it later.” he sighs again, your hand squeezing harder, making him gasp. His hand closes around your neck, not hard enough to choke you, just a grab. A way to make you know who’s in charge. He kisses you. “Now.” he says, out of breath. His fingers take your panty, sliding it down your legs. He looks at your half- naked body, the dress covering just your thorax. “I want to fuck you right”. He takes your body, pinning you against the wall, your legs around his waist and your hands gripped to his t-shirt. He takes his hand down, the other one holding you in place. His hand strokes his shaft a couple times, also making sure you’re ready enough to take him, before starting to put it in. He feels excited. How your body seems so little between his and the wall. How you’ll struggle to take all of him in. His cock twitch in anticipation. He can’t wait to be deep in you, to know how much of him can you take, but he wants to make it right. Make this something you’ll beg for. Make him feel superior. He pushes slowly, feeling every squeeze and every movement your walls make against him. You moan and he lets out the deepest groan. He doesn’t wait that much to move against you, even when he’s not fully inside, your lips parting to the sensation of him caressing your insides. He puts you against the wall, making the hold easier for him. He thrusts into you with such a power and strength that you feel your head dizzy. He keeps moving, lewd sounds and mixed heavy breaths leaving your mouths. He feels how he’s going deeper and deeper. He smirks.

“That’s it. You’re taking it so good, like the cockslut you are. You struggled to take all of me in that little cunt, all stuffed by me. Such a doll, hm?” he says, out of breath. You nod while he keeps moving against you, you hand taking his hair as his mouth bites your neck. “You were a brat this morning, a fucking tease, but now you’re behaving like a good girl.” he whispers, before bitting you again. One of his hands sneak to the part you two are connected, and he caresses you gently, his fingers knowing perfectly were to touch. You gasp. “You like it, don’t you?”. Your back starts to hurt a little, the wood door is too hard to be resting against. Eren doesn’t mind, his muscles flexed while he keeps moving you up and down his length. “You’re about to, hm?” he asks. “You’re squeezing me. Hard.” He groans. It's true, you're feeling it as well, the knot on your belly that announces your end, pleasure maximized by Eren’s fingers. His lips cover yours, a strand of spit connecting your mouth when he parts, your mind unable to make a coherent sentence. You take your hands to his back, helping him with your movements, reaching your end faster. He isn’t going to edge you. He feels merciful today. He’ll let you cum after all you did for him, after how good you’re squeezing him, after the pretty expressions you made. You fall on his arms with a long sigh,  juices dripping down the two of you as you keep shaking on his arms. He smirks. "Oi, you came really hard." He puts you down on the floor again, quietly sliding out of you. He's still as hard as he was. "I'm that good at it?" he asks. Then, he grabs your jaw, making you look at him. "Or maybe you're just a slut for me?" 

You blush. You did. He knew where to bite, where to touch and where to thrust. You couldn't help, he’s good at this. He pats your head softly. "Now, in reward, since you didn't wait for me, you could use that pretty little mouth you used to tease me this morning in something more interesting, hm?" he asks. You know what he's asking for. Before you kneel, he sits on the bed, tying his hair again while a cigarette hangs from his lips. Then, he pushes softly by your shoulders. You hear him inhaling the smoke. Taking his phone, he makes you look at him, pulling your jaw quietly. “Do you mind if i film you?” You shake your head. Filming is quite interesting, and hot, definitely hot. “Promise me that those videos will never leave your phone”. He smiles, a soft and genuine smile, offering you his hand. You shake it. 

“Promise.”

The image is quite hot, your face resting in his tight and your hands caressing him, while his parted lips let go moans mixed with smoke. He takes two fingers to your mouth, the other hand taking the phone. He films your hands, your expression, his words.

"You look pretty with your mouth full of my fingers, but I prefer another thing, doll." he says, quietly pushing your head, making an intrusion in your mouth. He sighs. "Fuck. Show the camera, pretty." You try to wipe the tears away and he caresses your jaw, making you look to the phone filming you. “Show it how you suck me.” You think about him, watching this video in the loneliness of his dormitory, no light, his hand sneaking into his pants. "Do it alright and we'll be done in a second." he says, taking a puff again. He smokes too much for your preference. His fingers, still full of your saliva, impact against your ass. "Faster, doll." he asks. Slap again. Again. You feel your skin tingling under his slaps, hot and red. "I would also like to ruin that pretty ass you have." He grabs it this time, the camera pointing at his big hand squeezing your buttock. You keep sucking under his sighs and gasps, helping yourself with your hand. He smiles. "That's it, I'm already." he moves his hips against you, strong enough to make you feel it. Tears come again to the corners of your eyes as he keeps moving, stronger, the camera pointing everywhere while he loses himself. "You want it? Should I let you have it on your mouth? Or maybe on your pretty face?" he gasps at the thought of your face full of his seed, and maybe that's what makes him pull it out and paint you. With a final sigh, Eren pauses the video, putting out the cigarette against an ashtray. You rest again near his legs as he looks at you. His hands grab your neck again, making you sit on his lap. “You should clean that mess. Don’t want everybody to know how much of a slut you are for me.” he says, his fingers outlining your lips. “And I’ll keep this.” he says, taking the panties he throw away earlier. “You know where to find me if you wanna get them back. Or maybe give me new ones.”

[duskandstarlight]

Embers & Light (Chapter 39, NSFW Nessian)

Notes: Well, over a year you've had to wait for these two to seal the deal... BUT NO LONGER. And because I'm thankful to you all for sticking with this story, I've granted you with over 16k of sinful naughtiness. I think it's safe to say this is NSFW but you guys have read my smut before, you know the drill.

Embers & Light has always very much been the alternative story to Habits, but I couldn’t help but write in some crossover moments here to highlight the differences in events--timeline is a fascinating thing! Lemme know if you spot the moments :)

Please let me know what you think :) Comment and kudos will make my day!

I won't be able to write much of August (wedding & mini-moon) but I'll be doing my best to get you guys something as soon as possible. Hopefully by the end of the month, anyways <3

Oh! And I got a bookstagram. Find me at bookships.and.fandoms (and bear with me, I cba to take pretty pics atm)

Chapter 39 Cassian POV

Cassian stared at the doorway and the staircase beyond it, his gaze fixed and unwavering. Nesta had slipped out of the living room to follow Feyre up the stairs over ten minutes ago and he was already consumed with the biting sort of worry that gnawed at your insides.

He wasn’t concerned about what Nesta might be discussing with Feyre—that was her business—but because he couldn’t help but fret when it came to Nesta’s wellbeing.

It was a myriad of concerns that trampled through his mind like a herd of cattle. Had she slept enough? Had she recovered from being caught in the crowds the day before? Was her conversation with Feyre going to have her take three steps back rather than one forward? Cassian had spied the book of fairytales she’d slipped into her bag. Had guessed what she’d intended to do with it.

And then there was the fact that Nesta had left the bed before he’d woken again. Cassian couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she’d not been there when he’d opened his eyes, especially after the night before.

But that was how it was with he and Nesta. When the sun dipped below the horizon, Cassian often felt as if they were on the right path; as if once the world shut its eyes, the pressure was off and their play could continue. But as soon as light bled back into the sky, things weren’t the same. They weren’t cold… but Cassian felt suspended in a limbo of flirtatious banter and respectful distance. Which was hard, when all Cassian wanted to do was be as close to her as possible: to hold her hand and wind a hand through her hair. To kiss her brow and mouth and sink his teeth into her neck—

Cassian’s jaw tightened. He wanted to do wicked things. He wanted to make her moan and shatter. Wanted to know how she felt wrapped around him. Wanted to see if she’d gasp awake as he pushed inside of her.

Their trip home was going to be a turning point. Or at the very least it would be a milestone—a hammered notch as they progressed towards something. Yet, Cassian wasn’t naive: he wasn’t expecting Nesta to fall into his arms and never leave. But he hoped that it might make Nesta see their connection—not the tie between them, but the chemistry that Cassian knew would forever exist even if the mating bond was severed.

From the very first moment his gaze had settled on the haughty, vicious sister Cassian had known. Had nearly been brought to his knees—the heart-stopping moment so powerful, it suspended time as he felt something turn inside of him, as if something that had lain dormant had finally snapped open an eye.

And because of that Cassian would willingly allow Nesta to forge the reigns when it came to whatever it was between them. He could go slow. He would take the chance that Nesta might grow to accept him, even as he was seized by the terror that she might grow bored and draw a line under things before he had the chance to prove that he was worthy.

Cassian took a deep, steadying breath that made his ribcage heave. Thought of the lullaby that sat in his room at the House. Used that to ground himself and banish the painful thoughts.

Nesta had cared enough to gift him a piece of his past that nobody else had ever gone to the effort to find for him. And that was… everything. It was everything to him.

“I can hear the worry grinding gears in your brain.”

Rhys was standing where Mor had been a few moments earlier, his hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers, his eyebrows raised. Cassian hadn’t noticed Mor slip away. Couldn’t even recall what she'd been saying to him. Had he ignored her? He didn’t know. Didn’t really care. They all knew he was head over heels when it came to Nesta anyway.

Cassian blinked. It took him a moment to process Rhys’s words, but his body finally caught up. An instinctive grin tugged at the corners of his mouth and he commanded his eyes to sparkle, even though it was all fake. “I was under the impression you didn’t think I had one.”

Rhys didn’t chuckle or retort with something dry. Sometimes his brother allowed him to indulge in his self-deprecating behaviour, but it didn’t seem like today was one of those days. Instead, he cut to the chase. “They’re fine.”

Cassian bristled. Didn’t bother to pretend his mind wasn't solely on what was happening upstairs. “Feyre’s speaking with you now?”

Nesta would hate that. Would know if her sister was communicating to her mate whilst they were talking.

His brother’s laugh was as smooth as velvet. “No, she locked me out. It’s a habit she’s started recently and it’s usually coupled with the mental finger.”

This time, Cassian’s smile was genuine, as was the chuckle that chased it. “Feisty.”

“You have no idea,” Rhys responded with a wink.

Mor, who had breezed back to Cassian’s side with a new cup of coffee, rolled her eyes. “We do actually, you two are like rabbits.”

“We’re mated,” Rhys replied with a wave of his hand. “It’s to be expected.”

Mor lifted her eyes to the ceiling. “Cauldron, I need to bed someone rather than hearing about my cousin’s exploits with my best friend.”

“Head to Rita’s and find yourself a pretty fae,” Cassian drawled, tugging Mor into a one armed hug.

“Mmm,” Mor hummed, but she chewed on her lip again. Glanced nervously at Azriel, who was in deep conversation with Elain. His shadows were tucked in neatly to his frame rather than trailing, ever-moving and loose around his body, but Cassian knew he could hear them.

Cassian dropped a friendly kiss to Mor’s head before he let her go. Tussled her hair, grinning mischievously when she squawked in disapproval.

As if sensing that his cousin wanted a change of subject, Rhys looked square at Cassian. “Azriel will come over later to update you on the latest movements.”

Cassian sobered as if someone had poured icy water down his back. “Not later,” Cassian corrected firmly.

Tomorrow. No the day after that. Cassian couldn’t guarantee that he’d be able to stop once he’d had his first proper taste of Nesta.

But of course they couldn’t do that—wouldn’t. The situation in Illyria was too dire for them to be so selfish as to lock themselves away for days.

It didn’t mean Cassian didn’t want to, though.

“You’ve got plans?” Rhys asked lightly and Mor froze.

You’ve got no idea, Cassian thought. But then realised his brother knew. Of course he did. Surely everyone in this room knew how desperate he was to get back to Illyria. To have Nesta in his bed again, writhing and moaning, their bodies slick with sweat as they moved in unison.

Clenching his jaw, Cassian grounded that desire between his teeth, until it was nothing but broken, delicious shards that scraped down his throat. His blood coiled. “Yes. Maybe.”

If she doesn’t change her mind.

“It has to be tomorrow, Cass.”

Biting back a sigh, Cassian nodded. “I know. Come at noon. I suppose I’ll be camped out in Illyria for the foreseeable future.” He cast a stern look at Mor. “Send me letters.”

“You have a housemate,” Rhys reminded him. “You’re not going to be entirely alone.”

Mor grinned slyly. “A very beautiful housemate.”

Cassian was more than aware of that.

He grunted and unable to stop himself, he voiced the fear that always niggled away at the back of his mind. “For now.”

But Rhys just loosed another manicured shrug, that was at odds with the ground-breaking revelation that followed it. “For a long while. Nesta has expressed her desire to remain in Illyria long-term despite the discontent. Assuming you don’t mind sharing your bungalow.”

It felt as if an iron band of hope was clamped around Cassian’s chest. He stared at his brother. Tried not to blink. Crossed his arms firmly over his chest, protecting his heart. “And you know this how?”

“Nesta spoke with me. We have arrived at a truce, of sorts.”

That must have been what they’d spoken about yesterday on the balcony. He wanted to know more—everything—but Cassian would not press Rhys. If Nesta wanted to tell him, she would. He had to respect that.

So, he bit back his curiosity and grumbled, “About time.”

Rhys clapped his hand on Cassian’s back, but there was something wary in his expression, as if there was something he wanted to say but wouldn’t. Finally, he said, “Patience is a virtue, brother.”

“I’m not the patient sort.”

“You are when it counts,” Rhys countered, and Cassian didn’t say anything because they both knew what he was referring to. Rhys had been the first to know. Had witnessed Cassian in a tangled web of despair and longing and unwanted visions. His brother had immediately put two and two together. Because he’d been there, too. Knew what it was to want someone you thought you couldn’t have. To hope that someone might finally grow to see you in colour rather than in black and white.

Cassian cast another look towards the empty doorway and the quiet hallway beyond it.

A shiver of anticipation ran through him. It was time for them to go home.

***

In the end, Cassian folded to his worry and had Elain fetch Nesta from upstairs. It was time to go, he’d insisted, even though there was no true reason as to why they needed to leave quite so quickly.

“No guesses required to identify why you want to head back to Illyria,” Mor muttered out the side of her mouth, as the creak of the stairs a few flights above heralded the sisters return. Cassian jabbed his elbow into his friend’s ribs and Mor yelped through her grin, even as she had to sidestep, the nudge throwing her off balance. “What? It’s all over your face. You think I can’t read you after five hundred years?”

“Don’t announce it to the room,” Cassian muttered darkly under his breath, “and you won’t find yourself torn to pieces.”

Mor briefly bumped against his arm, the jostle affectionate. Unfazed by his threat, she glanced sideways at him with rich chocolate eyes. “I won’t. We just want you to be happy, you know.”

Cassian’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “Now isn’t the time for a lecture about finding a more suitable mate.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, hadn’t meant to voice what he’d kept inside for so long.

Mor’s eyes widened, but she wound her arms around his waist. Cassian allowed her to tuck herself under his arm. His friend scented of citrus and cinnamon. When she craned her neck to look up at him, her expression was glowing with sincerity and Cassian realised that she hadn’t been insinuating that Nesta wasn’t right for him at all. “We’re all cheering you on from the sidelines, Cass, I promise.”

The muscle in Cassian’s jaw flexed. He looked away from her, towards the doorway again, unable to help himself. “Don’t say anything.”

She tightened her grip on his waist. “I won’t. I promise.”

“She doesn’t want it.”

Mor untangled herself from him. Shook her head in disagreement. “She does. She just isn’t ready to admit it yet.”

They both fell quiet as Nesta walked through the door with Elain and Feyre. The first thing Cassian noticed was that she scented of water and salt—tears.

Heart pattering with concern, Cassian quickly scanned Nesta’s expression and body language, searching for clues. But Nesta remained close to her sisters rather than apart, her fingers snagged in Feyre’s, her expression not in tatters but smooth and calm, like still waters.

“Ready to go?” Mor chirped from beside him. “I can winnow you back when Sala arrives.”

Nesta’s grey-blue eyes slid to Mor. “I called her on my way down.”

“Then you have time to see the snowdrops you gave me before you leave,” Elain responded eagerly, tugging at Nesta’s arm. “The cuttings took well to the soil. I planted them beneath the shade of the birch trees near the river.”

Cassian watched Nesta disappear into the garden. Surveyed the way a strand of golden brown hair that had escaped her loose braid floated on the breeze, as if it was part of the element rather than separate, as Elain bent to show her the snowdrops.

Yet despite the clear ease to Nesta’s movements, Cassian couldn’t help but ask Feyre whether everything was okay when she came over to hug him goodbye.

“We’re fine,” Feyre assured him, as together they watched Mor tentatively sit beside Azriel on the couch. For once the Shadowsinger’s shadows didn’t lighten, but Azriel still turned to her, drawn by some magnetism as she began to speak with him.

Slim fingers closed around his. Squeezed. “Thank you for fetching the book of fairytales for Nesta.”

The strand of ebony hair that had wrangled free of Cassian’s hair tie tickled the side of his forehead as he inclined his head. That had been a long time ago, when Nesta was a viper that he dared to poke with a stick, just so he could get a reaction. “Of course.”

“You travelled all that way on barely healed wings just to fetch a book.”

It wasn’t just a book, but Cassian knew Feyre understood that, so he only grunted, “Az took me most of the way. He waited to winnow me back.”

But Feyre’s eyes were burnished, as she asked, “Is there anything you won’t do for my sister?”

“It depends,” Cassian replied honestly. Because although he’d rather die than see Nesta hurt, Cassian wouldn’t hesitate to stand up to her when her fire was ill-wrought. And that’s what he liked about the both of them: if he was an ass Nesta told him straight, and he did the same for her. A grin slashed across his face. “Your sister has claws and teeth when she’s angry.”

It wasn’t long before Sala landed on her four large paws in the garden, prompting goodbyes. Mor winnowed Nesta and Sala, whilst Az’s scarred hand closed around Cassian’s arm.

Together, Cassian and his brother passed through realms of shadows and light and raging wings. Then Illyria was taking shape before Cassian bit by bit: there was the sting of winter on his cheeks, the crunch of snow beneath his feet, the scent of pine and untamed air. It felt like that wonderful first heave of your lungs after being starved from air. It alerted Cassian senses—woke him up.

Not bothering to say goodbye for the second time, Azriel bled straight back into shadow, but Mor raised a hand in a parting wave from where she stood beside Nesta and Sala. Her long golden hair caught on the breeze. It tussled behind her like its own puff of wind, before she vanished into nothing.

When Cassian’s eyes snapped to Nesta, he found her standing with her eyes closed, breathing in the wilderness of their surroundings. After a few beats, Sala jumped onto her hind legs, climbing up Nesta’s body with her snow-crusted paws to knock her head impatiently against Nesta’s.

A breath of laughter clouded in front of her as Nesta ruffled Sala’s ears. She murmured something Cassian couldn't identify in the manticore’s ear, before Sala dropped onto all fours and padded through the snow in the direction of the main camp.

Cassian watched the manticore go. He suspected Sala was going to seek out the widows camp and check everything was in order. It was the kind of thing Nesta would fret about—that whilst she was warm and fed, others might not be extended the same courtesy.

Or, the dark part of his mind whispered, she wants Sala out of the house.

You can fuck me wherever you like in the bungalow, Cassian.

The many needles of thrill pierced through him just as Nesta met his stare from across the snow. Suddenly, Cassian didn’t know what to say. His tongue felt swollen and thick in his mouth, words suddenly as viscous as tar. The atmosphere had altered—the aura surrounding them despite the distance suddenly heavy with promise: a change that pointed to something new.

The siphons on the back of Cassian’s hands glowed in anticipation. Nesta merely raised an eyebrow at him. Turned. Walked towards the house just as he caught the thick scent of jasmine and vanilla on the wind.

Cassian’s nostrils flared as it wound around him; invisible ropes of arousal. And then he was moving, following Nesta’s footprints.

His friends had winnowed them to the back of the house, halfway between the small stone outhouse and the backdoor. They weren’t far from the bungalow, but it felt like miles as Cassian stomped noisily after Nesta, his boots compacting the snow as if they were grinding shards of glass into powder.

When Cassian drew up behind Nesta, she already had a hand half-raised towards the door. Even though he wasn’t touching her, she was a whirlpool of warmth. It sucked him in, begging him to line his torso against her back, so when she cursed, realising she hadn’t taken her gloves off, Cassian didn’t hesitate to reach over her shoulder and rest his palm against the wood, encasing her.

The touch of his bare skin—or Nesta’s—was the key to the magical lock. A thunk sounded as the bolt released but Cassian didn’t push open the door—was too preoccupied with the female before him—who had twisted to stare up at him.

As soon as their gazes snagged, history began to knit together in a rush of thread, until it was a tangible, living thing. Because this moment had been written in the stars as soon as Cassian had seen Nesta in her amethyst dress in the human realm; her hair wielded into a mighty crown, her expression haughty and defiant, yet burning with the potential of a life not yet lived. They’d denied that history, even as it waited patiently in the wings. It had watched as they danced around each other, fumbling and snarling their way to this very moment—

They moved in unison. Cassian’s head bowing just as Nesta reached upwards; her body bowing to his, her palms sliding across his jaw until they were around his neck. Their lips met with a force that rattled Cassian’s bones. This wasn't a brush of a kiss. This was immediate and awakening: Nesta tasted like life and breath, like destiny. And yet again, Cassian knew with startling clarity that they were meant for this, he and Nesta. They were meant for each other and nobody could tell him otherwise, including her.

A soft breath whooshed out of Nesta as her back hit the door, but then Cassian was pushing it open, guiding her inside in a whirlwind of noise and wreckage.

The scrape of wood on the flagstone tiles sounded as Nesta’s back knocked against the table before Cassian turned them, his wings grazing against cupboards and the cool walls. Items clattered and shattered, but Cassian used his wings to keep a check on his surroundings, the touch guiding him to the left-hand wall where he could press her against the wall and devour.

Because Cassian could not tear his mouth from Nesta’s. Couldn’t stop tasting her. Couldn’t stop craving the roll of her tongue and the sound of her guttural moans. It fuelled a fireball inside of him; it roared into life in the centre of his heart, before spreading throughout his limbs, rushing through his body until it settled deep in his groin, aching and burning—screaming for relief.

When they finally hit the wall, the thud of their bodies shook the cabinets and the porcelain within it. Without thinking, Cassian took the brunt of it, his hand flying to cup Nesta's lower back and head to purposefully shield her from the hurt.

Because he was coarse and rippling, galloping towards a primal sort of wilderness that Cassian wasn’t sure he could control.

If Nesta was ignorant to the fact or wholly aware Cassian didn’t know. All he knew was that her hands were scrabbling at his leather like dancing flames, tugging him closer.

When he pressed his body over hers, aligning every inch of her to every inch of him, she whined.

Cassian swallowed it. Slanted his mouth across hers. Tucked his wings in tight as every muscle in him tensed in anticipation.

Nesta tasted of chai and vanilla and embers with a destiny to roar.

Another strangled noise came from her throat as Cassian sank his hands deep into the hair at her scalp, coaxing strands free from her braid as his fingers threading through her hair, just as he had done the night prior when he’d coaxed her to sleep. But this wasn’t a soothing touch. This was a touch to startle every nerve ending to life.

Time began to bleed around them, but Cassian only registered the fluidity of the frantic dance they had not learnt. The way Nesta arched into him as his palm slid back to span her waist. The pant of her breath against his skin. His heaving chest. The way his wings began to spread again of their own volition, like a fan unfolding to reveal a secret pattern—as if they were controlled by nothing but the ache of his cock as it strained against the leather of his pants.

As if in acknowledgement that his body was no longer ruled by him, his hips slanted upwards of their own accord. It was a desperate bid to relieve the ache, and his throat vibrated with a thunderous growl as Nesta dug her nails deeper into the leather of his jacket, using it for leverage as she arched into him.

Something turned further inside of Cassian, like a lock beginning to grind as a key turned. And then it felt as if he were plunging beneath water; ducking into the depths and travelling beneath an invisible barrier before emerging on the other side buoyant and surging with power.

Ruby crashed through his veins, like the walls of a dam broken free and… singing light. Magic roared so loudly in Cassian’s ears that he no longer heard the galloping beat of his heart or the sawing of their breath.

Reeling, he tore his mouth from Nesta’s. Her eyes were just as wide, puddles of startled moonlight—endless mercury—and Cassian didn’t need to look down to know that her hands were wreathed in silver.

For a moment they stared at one another. Time slowed until it was sluggish around them and then the feeling receded, as if Cassian was being carried by a wave as it was dragged unwillingly from the shore on thundering feet.

Sound bled back into Cassian’s ears, like raindrops slowly blotting paper. A moan whispered on a wind carried through him, the words fleeting—her name three times, like always—before they dispersed into nothing and ragged breathing filled the hole.

Fuck, they needed to be careful. He needed to be careful if just kissing her led to some transcendental experience. Cassian knew Nesta became open during sex—had seen tumbled images of tangled limbs and heard her moans—and he couldn’t afford to lose her when she had finally let him in. Couldn’t let her down, even though he wanted nothing more than to finally be found worthy by someone.

That twisted rope between them couldn’t widen and strengthen. Couldn’t finally open and click into place with a consensual snap.

Because Cassian had heard stories of mates who had gone to bed. Who had fleetingly accepted what they wanted in their hearts but not in their minds. And after they had both finished and life had been breathed into that bond, only death could sever their Cauldron-blessed connection.

Cassian would not have a mate with regrets, but he didn’t have the will-power to deny himself of her any longer. Not when he could scent how much Nests wanted him. When he could feel it like an unquenchable ache in his bones—an ache which made him tremble and shake. His rocky warrior exterior ground to nothing but sand.

As if Nesta could read his thoughts she tipped her head back, baring the column of her neck.

A resounding guttural sound dragged from his throat. The noise was animalistic and unchained. A booming crack ricocheted around the walls, the muscles in Cassian’s back burning as his wings snapped outward.

Something toppled from somewhere and crashed to the floor, but Cassian didn’t bother to raise his head to look at what it was.

And then time seemed to both slow and drive into a frenzy. Cassian launched at Nesta’s neck at the same time he tugged at her hair, urging her head to fall back even farther.

His lips were against the column of her throat in the blink of an eye; his teeth scraping, his mouth sucking until her blood pounded in his ears. Nesta’s knees buckled but Cassian quickly pinned her body to the wall, holding her up, his knee sliding firmly between her legs…

And… nothing. There was no panic or sensation of being trapped—no sudden fire launching him back thirty feet—but Cassian still tore his mouth from Nesta’s neck. Had to know she wasn’t panicking. “Ok?” he rasped.

A frown burrowed Nesta’s brows. Her swollen lips parted in confusion. Somehow it made her look more beautiful.

Cassian raised a shaking hand to trace it away. “Nesta. Are you ok?”

Understanding dawned like millions of unfurling petals.

When Nesta spoke she was short of breath, the words an exhale. “Don’t hold back.”

Cassian practically arched into her at the words but he made himself remain still, even as his body vibrated with tension. His bones creaked but he held fast.

That stubborn, beautiful chin lifted and Nesta’s eyes glinted wicked yet pure. Always an oxymoron, his Nesta.

“Don’t hold back,” she repeated, her voice stronger this time. She pushed her hips against his thigh and the friction had her lips parting, a shaky breath tumbling from her lungs. “I can take it.”

The words were like slashing knives of pleasure, severing the leash on any control Cassian thought he had.

The subsequent rush of air Cassian loosed was akin to a snorting horse.

Then he was moving and their mouths were fused together again, their tongues a delicious push and pull of control and pleasure before he yanked away.

“Thank fuck,” he gasped. His hands flew to her hips, guiding her to ride his thigh. “Thank fuck, Nesta.”

The friction had Nesta moaning, her fingernails digging so hard into the leather of his jacket Cassian was sure she had dented the material. But he didn’t care. Didn’t care about anything but the living fervour that clawed at them.

His hands were everywhere at once. Tangled in her hair. Sliding over her cheek. Cupping her ass. Attacking the buttons at the back of her dress, until they popped and scattered. Until he could pull the material down her arms, exposing tantalising creamy skin.

At the first sight of her breasts, Cassian growled. He bowed his head to capture a nipple sharply between his teeth before he laved over it with his tongue, smoothing over the wound. He relished the way Nesta cried out. Arched into him. She began to tear at his jacket. It snagged on his wings but Cassian shrugged it off until it hit the floor with a thud.

The first slide of Nesta’s palms beneath his tunic was like oil sizzling in a pan. Cassian hissed as the callouses of her palms scraped deliciously over his skin and scars and ink. Snarled as she made quick work of the stays and fastenings. Tried to focus on her other breast as she inched her hand beneath the tight leather fabric and eased him free.

Fingers wrapped sinfully around him, causing Cassian to snarl around a peaked nipple—to buck sharply—pressing them more firmly against the wall.

“Don’t bother,” Nesta moaned as Cassian wrenched desperately at the fabric of her dress, trying to coax it further down her body. She ground down onto his thigh as it to emphasise her point—her need—and the heat of her burned.

It was all Cassian needed to hear. He fumbled desperately with her skirts until a hand was under the material and sliding up her thigh. Until fabric ripped and her underwear fell away in what Cassian imagined to be a ripple of lace.

In one swift movement, Cassian lifted Nesta’s body upwards, until her legs were gripped tightly around his hips and her back was flush against the wall. Her hands flew to find purchase, grappling at the back of his neck, and when she was steady she raked her hand purposefully through the hair which had come loose from his tie. Tugged at the leather until his hair fell over his face. Whined. Tangled her fingers through the ebony strands as if they were her reigns.

Cassian splayed the hand that wasn’t supporting her body against the cold wall. Tried to catch his breath, but the position evened out the height between them. Just a slight movement would allow him to capture her lips with his, and Cassian couldn’t deny that demanding tug that drove him to devour. Nesta seemed to feel the same way. Moaned in relief as Cassian tasted her as if he couldn’t get enough, gave back as good as she got. Over and over they moved, until they were nothing but an undulating wave of tongue and teeth and groans. The pleasure was a surging, roiling entity. It was all consuming. It overtook Cassian’s body, demanding that his hand drag from her ass straight to her core.

When his fingers slid through wetness, Cassian’s groan sounded like thunderous defeat. He dropped his head to Nesta’s collarbone. Gently pressed his lips to her clavicle. To her shoulder. Tried to ground himself as he slid straight to the spot that made her keen—as pleasure ignited down the bond like a crashing wave. Brushed over it again and again and again. Relishing in the noises he coaxed from her. At the curling fists of desire that clenched agonisingly inside of him.

Cassian had to see Nesta fall. Had to look into her eyes as she broke.

But he wanted to be inside of her when it happened.

Cassian was reaching for his cock at the same time that Nesta let out a broken moan. “Do it,” she breathed. There was no bite of authority in her voice, as if all of the energy she had directed in the pursuit of pleasure had smoothed over the serrated edge of her personality he loved so much, leaving a softer version in its wake. “Please. Just—”

A satisfied snarl ripped from Cassian as he felt her want. And in that moment, Cassian knew there would be nothing gentle about how this was going to play out. It was going to be rough and frantic, riding a wave of pleasure that had been building for too long. Knew afterwards that they would sink to the cold floor in a mass of tangled limbs and mingled breath.

And Cassian wanted that. Had never wanted release so badly in his life.

Something clambered in the back of his mind. Something he needed to remember, but his limbs were moving of their own volition. He didn’t even bother to pump his cock or squeeze it to relieve the tension. Only cared about finally being inside of her.

The heat and slickness of her was sinful and divine when he lined himself up at her entrance. The hand he had braced against the wall came to span her cheek. It relied on Nesta clamping on tightly to his waist with her legs and the press of his torso against hers, but they managed it.

Shaking, Cassian raked back the hair that had fallen free from her braid back from Nesta’s face, just as she tugged him in for a bruising kiss.

There was a moment when everything paused and trembled. As Nesta pulled away and stared at him, her eyes swimming silver—glowing with it—her pupils obscured.

His magic surged at the sight of it. Crashed against his skin as if it was trying to escape. His siphons burned bloody.

“Cassian,” Nesta panted. Despite the keen desperation, there was cushion to his name. Gently, Nesta bowed her head until her forehead rested against his. The gesture was surprisingly tender. It tugged at his heartstrings, triggered his hips into movement as they finally pushed forward.

The tight heat that wrapped around him like velvet was so immediate that Cassian swore. Sweat trickled down his back and seeped into the tunic Nesta hadn’t gotten round to discarding. He trembled as Nesta’s breath stuttered and he felt the burning pain mixed with pleasure as he sunk in an inch. Felt the stretch of Nesta’s body as it strained to fit around him.

Claws dug into his back—Nesta’s nails—biting into his skin, until the metallic tang of blood infused the air.

Cassian’s body stilled before he even had a second to register that he needed to stop. That instinct buried deep to make sure she never hurt.

And then a knock rapped at the front door.

“No,” Nesta moaned. She shifted her hips and Cassian sank a little deeper. That pain flared again through the pleasure and Cassian grip on her turned vice like.

Sense stumbled into his desire addled brain, like a fawn on gangly legs.

But then it righted itself.

Another sharp rap at the door cleared his head completely.

He bowed to bury his face in the crook of her neck but Nesta whined. Tilted her hips again, urging him deeper. “Nesta, stop.”

“No.” Her whimper was doused in frustration, but all Cassian could feel was that sharp needle of pain.

He tried to pull back, but Nesta clamped down around him with that incredible strength of hers. The strength that only seemed to appear at times of desperation or anger.

Cassian’s jaw flexed, his features hardening. “I’m hurting you.”

“You’re not,” Nesta countered, defiance colouring her expression.

“I am,” Cassian retorted, not allowing for a passing beat of their hearts to pass before he replied. “I’m hurting you. Don’t pretend that I’m not.”

I can feel it, Cassian wanted to explain, but didn’t. Knew somehow that if he did they might not end up joining at all.

Desire fogged Nesta’s mind and it fuelled the punch to her next words. “I don’t care.”

Ire punched through Cassian’s desire enough for him to see red. “Well, I do,” he snapped.

Nesta’s nostrils flared at his tone and her eyes burned silver. Cassian wondered how everything had gone southward so quickly—they were on a sinking ship and he needed to patch it up. Knew she felt rejected. So, he kissed her and pushed back that unquenchable ache he felt for her. Knew it hit home because she gasped softly into his mouth, her surprise tart on his tongue.

He pulled out. As soon as his cock fell free that pain throbbed and ebbed. But Nesta moaned all the same.

Moaned again as he drew his head back to stare at her.

She surprised him when her eyes remained open rather than closed off. There was no hard shield. Nothing but want and a vulnerability that made his heart squeeze.

It gave him the courage to do the right thing.

He kissed her again. Trailed a thumb across her swollen lips, ignoring the desire that roared as Nesta sucked it into her mouth, her tongue darting across the top before the bit down lightly.

“This is how things are going to go,” Cassian murmured lowly, pulling his thumb out of her mouth and across her jawline, trailing the wetness all the way to the sensitive spot behind her ear. Nesta shuddered.

“I’m going to get the door and send whoever it is away,” Cassian continued. He paused to let the words sink in. Lowered his head to trace a path with his nose, up the slope of her shoulder, all the way up her neck until his lips were grazing the shell of her ear. “You will go to your bedroom. When they’re gone, I’ll find you.”

Another shiver coursed through Nesta’s body. Her fingers tightened around his neck.

When Nesta next spoke, Cassian knew he’d piqued her interest. “What then?” she demanded.

“Then I’m going to make you come until you see stars.”

Nesta’s entire body froze. For a long moment, she didn’t so much as breathe, but Cassian felt the throb of her blood and magic as it pounded against her skin.

Then, Nesta’s hands worked between them, until her small palms were splayed across his chest. She pushed firmly, indicating that she wanted to get her down. Her body slithered to the floor, her lean legs falling away from his body.

The sudden distance between them felt like miles.

Nesta lifted her chin. “Hurry or I’ll start without you.”

A breath heaved at Cassian’s lungs and he felt his pupils contract, pushing out his irises until they were swallowed by black. The image of Nesta sprawled on the bed wearing nothing but skin, her legs open, a hand moving between her legs had that coil within him tightening to the point of pain.

A growl spiked through the air as another knock sounded at the door.

Nesta must have known she’d wrangled back control, because she arched a cool eyebrow at him.  “I thought you were going to answer the door?”

A dark chuckle forced its way out of his chest, but it was mechanical rather than true. Because there was nothing funny about resisting Nesta right now and his body seemed to know that.

Cassian reached for her before he knew what was happening. Rested his forehead against hers. Breathed once. Twice. “I need to calm down,” he confessed.

Nesta snickered, but the sound fell flat as her breath hitched upwards at the end. It betrayed the effect he had on her, even as she said silkily, “Did the image of me pleasuring myself get you hard?”

“I was already hard,” he growled. He pressed a lingering kiss to her mouth. “As you well know.”

A hand reached between them. Stroked over him—the touch feather light but tantalising enough that Cassian bucked into her touch.

And then cunning words, “Maybe I’ll let you watch.”

A string of swear words left Cassian’s mouth. He yanked back from Nesta, as if someone had tugged firmly on a leash. Tugged up his pants and jerked ruthlessly at the ties until they fastened, trapping his cock back into the leather.

With a growl, Cassian waved a hand towards the living room—to Nesta’s room to the right of it. “Leave before I fuck you against the wall, Nesta,” he barked.

Nesta’s sly laugh skittered over his skin, and without pulling her dress back up to cover herself, Nesta sashayed through the nearest arch and disappeared.

*** It had been Mas and Roksana at the door, laden with bags full of groceries and supplies from the market. With full access to the house, there was no reason why they shouldn’t have just come right in. Which meant Mas had suspected somehow, enough so that she had left the bags on the front step and remained standing with Roksana a few feet back.

“I am sorry Sinta, but the meat might spoil,” the housekeeper had apologised as soon as he’d opened the door, his hair a tangled mess from where Nesta had yanked it free of its tie. He hadn’t had the sense to recover it from the floor, but he had righted his tunic and fastened his pants.

And thank the Cauldron for that, because Roksana peeked up at Cassian with wide eyes from her position of safety behind Mas’s legs. He didn’t know when Lorrian had brought the youngling back to the camp, but Cassian guessed it hadn’t been easy on the two of them to take a little girl out of the warmth and back into the snow.

Cassian tried to soften the eyes that he knew were a little wild. He raked his hands through his hair and sent them his most disarming smile, but there was fuck all he could do about his scent. So he thanked her, trying to keep his voice light and conversational. Ordered her to take the rest of the day off.

To the housekeeper’s credit, she did not linger. Had merely nodded and rushed Roksana back into the snow, towards the main vein of the camp.

Yet, whilst the housekeeper’s interruption had been unwanted, it did grant Cassian some breathing space as he rammed perishables into the cool box. Because even though Cassian would allow Nesta to decide how this all played out, he needed to lay down a rule of his own: he could give her the space to decide what she wanted—for him to prove that he could be what she needed—but there was one thing he could not suffer through.

And if they had stormed ahead in a hurricane of lust; with Nesta’s back against the wall as Cassian pounded into her… Well, it would be too late for Cassian to lay down his one condition once they were sweaty and sated. Nesta was more likely to get up and walk away. To not look back.

Cassian found Nesta sitting at the dresser in her room re-braiding back her hair.

Leaning against the doorjamb, Cassian opened his mouth to explain who had been at the door, but an iron band closed fast around his chest, robbing him of breath.

“What are you wearing?” The words came out of him eventually, entirely uneven to the point of being choked.

Because Nesta was wearing his shirt. It was the same steel blue shirt she’d worn that first day in Illyria. The shirt that was an identical match to her eyes, purchased before Cassian had realising what his subconscious had done. A shirt he’d had to hide away in the spare room because Cassian hadn’t been able to bare seeing it in his closet—of being reminded that his mate was a ghost who had banished him away.

Go home, Cassian.

Nesta met Cassian's eyes in the mirror. Announced with cool simplicity, “You ripped my dress.”

“And this is your way of torturing me?”

An indifferent shrug. “Why wear my own clothing when I know what fate it will suffer?”

Cassian knew his nostrils billowed, but he remained propped up against the doorframe. Pretended he was stuck to it like glue because his body was trembling for him to launch across the distance and claim her mouth. Her neck. Her.

The silence seemed to unnerve Nesta. Cassian knew that from months of living with her. From months of studying her slight tells when her masks slipped.

Right on cue, Nesta reset her posture—a gesture that most people read as defiant. But Cassian knew it was also a sign of nerves. She shrugged with feigned indifference, even as her throat tightened and that damned pulse fluttered temptingly against her throat. “You liked it the last time I wore it.”

Cassian huffed a breath. He had liked it the last time she wore it, even if she’d been so gaunt that he’d worried she might wither away. But the shirt… it had put images in his mind that Cassian had long tried to store away, imprisoned in rock and flame: her in his clothing, not fucking other males but him, her lithe legs wrapping around his waist as he sank deep—

Which brought Cassian neatly to the point he needed to discuss with her…

Nesta’s eyes tracked Cassian in the mirror as he peeled himself out of the doorway and came to stand behind her. When their eyes locked into place, it felt as if someone had punched him in the chest. There was something deep in Nesta’s gaze that made it feel as if he was tumbling down a rabbit hole, that magnetism between them drawing him in like gravity.

When Cassian’s fingers brushed Nesta’s neck—ran down the braid she had draped over her shoulder—Nesta shivered. “You had your hair down then,” he rasped. Didn’t wait for her to protest, as he slowly coaxed the tie free from the end of her hair.

Nesta turned preternaturally still, watched him gently part her hair in the mirror until it fell free from her plait, his calloused fingers brushing over her skin as he coaxed her hair to fall down her back.

The pulse hammering at her throat and the warmth radiating from her skin were the only indications that Nesta was alive rather than stone.

Only when Cassian had finished and lifted his hands from her neck, did Nesta come back to life.

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. But she cocked her head slightly to dissect him. “It’s a nuisance like this. It gets in the way.”

“It’s beautiful,” Cassian corrected, his voice rasping, like sand scraping against skin. He ran a hand through her hair as if to emphasise his point, his fingers running down, down, down until her waist.

When Nesta stood and turned into the warmth of him, Cassian scented what she wanted. But there was something else simmering in her expression—surprise. As if she’d caught the truth in his words and hadn’t expected someone to truly think her beautiful.

She stepped closer, until the lines of her torso ghosted his. Until Cassian’s heart pounded so hard he could hear the frantic tempo of it in his ears. Nesta tilted her head back so she could stare up at him and Cassian’s hand weaved through the mane of her hair before he could stop himself.

He was desperate to touch her again. Desperate.

But Cassian waited. Waited for Nesta to reach up on tiptoes and press her mouth to his.

The kiss was not like their bruised, desperate kisses from earlier. It was coaxing and unsure; the tentative beginning of something that was not merely fuelled by ardour. But it soon blossomed into something more, like a snowball rolling down a mountain blanketed white, gaining speed as it grew and grew—

Dragging his mouth away from hers, Cassian fought for breath. Battled to remember what he needed to do and say. But then Nesta was tugging his head back down again, her fingers tangled in his hair, the gesture indicative of an insistent need that Cassian knew would not go away.

As always, Nesta tasted divine. Addictive. He could taste the curl of her power on his tongue—silver and white, life and death—and he wondered if she could taste his. Knew his siphons were glowing scarlet—

“Nesta,” he murmured hoarsely, her name a caress against her lips. He couldn’t invoke a distance between them, couldn’t stop touching her. His nose brushed hers as her drew back an infinitesimal amount. Closed his eyes. Inhaled deeply, summoning courage. “You can dictate how this goes between us. But if we do this, I can’t—there’s no-one else. Just you and me.”

The subsequent pause was one of the worst of Cassian’s life. It was barely a breath. The blink of an eye. But it felt as if it was malleable and elastic, drawn out by the hands of fate as everything suspended in time.

He didn’t want to open his eyes, but in the end he managed it. Caught Nesta’s eyelashes flutter downwards, casting shadows on her skin. Her fists tightened in the fabric of his tunic, anchoring him to the moment.

She swallowed. Shook her head. Agreed with a conviction he had not been expecting, “No-one else.”

The relief that swooped through Cassian was so fierce it was painful. But he still didn’t dare to believe it.

He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger so Nesta could not look away. So he could look into the deep waters of her irises and know she was telling him the truth.

But her gaze was steady and unwavering, as he demanded, “Say it again.”

His voice cracked but Nesta didn’t appear to notice. Her grip on him tightened. “No-one else,” she repeated on an outward breath.

A low, ravaged moan sounded from Cassian’s throat. “Diyosa,” he murmured, slipping into Illyrian. Goddess.

“Bruha,” Nesta corrected. She fumbled over the pronunciation but Cassian felt as if he had been an ember that had burst into flame. Witch.

He let out a rough bark of laughter. Then he swore in a long, drawn out moan. “No Illyrian,” he ordered roughly. Pressed his mouth firmly against hers, the kiss searing. “Otherwise this will be over far too quickly.” Another kiss. “And I want to take my time.”

The smile Nesta painted against Cassian’s lips was feline. “You’ve made a lot of promises, General. I hope you don’t disappoint.”

Cassian snarled. Spun her body until her back was cradled against his chest. “I have, haven’t I?” he mused lightly, even though the hammering of his heart must have beat a betraying rhythm against her shoulder blade.

In the mirror, Nesta’s expression grew less poised and controlled. Delight mixed with anticipation clung to her features at this game they played; this tussle for control. She did not try to wrangle free from his hold or shift uncomfortably in his arms at having her back enclosed against his.

It thrilled him—that trust. Enough so that when he met her eyes in the mirror, Cassian found that his irises had been swallowed by his pupils until they were only a ring of chocolate gold.

Slowly, Cassian brushed Nesta’s hair over to one shoulder with his left hand. Traced his fingers down the arc of her neck to her collarbone. Continued a path down the centre of her chest, to the pyrite which glittered between her breasts.

When his fingers met the first button of his shirt, Cassian toyed with it. Purposefully grazed his nose against the shell of her ear. “Shall I start here?” he murmured. “Undress you in front of the mirror whilst you watch?”

Nesta suppressed a shudder, but Cassian caught it. Could swear he felt her blood boiling beneath her skin as he slipped the button free of its hole. Then another. And another. Until there were no more buttons and the material hung free.

Leaning back into his body, Nesta rested her head against his chest. Curved her back slightly so her chest thrust upwards, silently instructing him where she wanted his hands.

And Cassian couldn’t deny her. He turned his palm so it was face up and curled into a loose fist. Brushed his knuckles down her sternum all the way to her bared naval, before bringing it back up. His fingers ran up the side of the material free of buttons, until he was at her collarbone—her shoulder—leaving a litter of goosebumps in his wake.

This time, Cassian snickered when she shivered. Dropped a slow and deliberate kiss to her bare shoulder as he slowly, slowly inched the material down, down, down over her arm. Repeated the motion on the other, until the shirt pooled onto the floor, exposing her bare body to the mirror: endless creamy skin, divine curves, the luscious full weight of her bare breasts, and… lower.

Nesta’s eyes, which had been tracking the fabric as it fell away, snapped to his as a feral growl ripped from him. And she moaned at the expression on his face. Grabbed at his hands, pulling them to her body.

“Touch me,” Nesta hissed, but it came out strangled. Almost pleading. Another crack in her armour as it broke and fell away.

The sight was enough to threaten Cassian to his knees. He guided her body backwards, his hands splaying firmly across her stomach despite her whine, until his legs hit the edge of the mattress

Neither of them broke eye contact in the mirror. Not when Cassian coaxed Nesta down to sit on the bed with him. Not when he pulled her between his legs, her back firmly against his chest. Not when he bowed his head to kiss the slope between her neck and shoulder.

When Cassian finally brushed a thumb over her nipple, Nesta back bowed so fiercely Cassian was thankful he had an arm strapped across her stomach.

The small noise she loosed fuelled his fire and Cassian held on to her. Stroked over that peaked nipple again as Nesta careened into his touch. Followed it with a firmer roll with his thumb and forefinger. Used the fingertips of his other hand to draw slow, tantalising circles across the silken skin of her lower stomach, before he moved southwards…

The air around them hushed when Cassian’s fingers stilled. Anticipation built and only when it vibrated with tension did Cassian slide his hands to cradle Nesta’s hips.

A snarl of frustration, but Cassian paid the sound no heed. Only grazed his thumbs over Nesta’s hipbones. Watched her expression in the mirror—the way her face contorted as she squirmed into his touch as if she was a puppet on strings. Ground back onto him, pressing into that building ache that was bordering on painful.

Fuck, Nesta.

Cassian wasn’t sure if he had spoken out loud or in his head, all he knew was the blessed, fleeting relief he felt as he bucked into the small of Nesta’s back on instinct. He was rock hard and thirsting to be touched, but the thickening scent of Nesta’s arousal pulled his focus.

A groan rumbled from Cassian’s throat as Nesta’s hand darted between her legs. He caught her wrist just in the nick of time. Kissed the heart of her palm. Rumbled into her ear, “Not yet, sweetheart.”

His voice was coarse enough that Nesta shivered, the goosebumps travelling down her skin like a cresting wave. She didn’t struggle against him, nor did she move to disobey him as he dropped her wrist. Instead, she waited, trembling and shaking at every pass of his thumbs over her skin.

Cassian buried his nose behind the shell of her ear. Breathed Nesta in, steadying the drum of his pulse.

Not once did he take his eyes off of hers in the mirror, especially as he murmured, “Shall we find out if you’re wet for me?”

Nesta squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as if the movement would steady her. Swallowed hard. It was so unlike her to take stock, to show any signs that she was rattled, that Cassian softened. He nuzzled at her neck, trailed a line of kisses instilled with promises. A hand flew up to tangle in Cassian’s hair, keeping him there.

“Yes.”

The word stuttered out of Nesta on several staccatos, but she forced her eyes open and met his gaze in the mirror. Watched as he pulled her tighter against him and hooked her legs over his thighs so she was spread wide. Slipped his hand across and down…

The first ghost of a touch had Nesta panting through her nose. The second had her gritting her teeth. The third had her moaning, her back bowing so sharply as he skimmed straight over the place she wanted him the most.

Her head hit the centre of his chest with a resounding thud that had his bones creaking, but she did not look away from him. Seemed to know the game they were playing without him having to express it.

When Cassian brought his fingers lower and discovered just how wet Nesta was, he had to force his wings in tight to his back to hide his surprise. Growled, “You’re soaked.”

Pleasure and embarrassment twisted in Cassian’s stomach, and Cassian wanted to tell her that it was not something to be ashamed of, that he wanted her just as much as she clearly wanted his fingers between her legs.

Her eyes glinted steel, her stare commanding. “Make me come—“ she ordered, but Cassian chose that moment to roll his finger over that spot at the apex of her thighs.

The command bottomed out of Nesta as she inhaled sharply. Satisfaction bloomed inside of Cassian; because he may have done this countless times before but barely enough with her. And nothing seemed to matter apart from him seeking out her satisfaction. Of learning about what made her body freeze with pleasure and what made her come undone. “There?” he murmured into her ear, repeating the movement, before he passed his fingers down further. Until they were at her entrance, playing gently before he drew upwards and circled.

This time, Nesta groaned. Her hips jerked sharply beneath him, tilting, guiding him to just the right place.

Picking up on the cue, Cassian increased the tempo and friction until Nesta’s hips were rolling in a punishing rhythm against the hard length of him.

And Cassian snarled in satisfaction, his fingers tightening around her hip in a plea for her to keep moving—to not stop pushing back on him—because it was blissfully good. The rapid tightening in his groin was almost painful, the cord so tight that Cassian thought it might snap. But he couldn’t stop Nesta, not when she looked so bewitching, the arousal so stark on her face as he stroked and circled and pressed.

Burning pleasure clambered to its peak and Nesta’s eyes grew so heavy they fluttered closed. Something unintelligible left her lips, her head tipping back into the heart of his chest.

When Nesta’s arms wound around his neck, her knuckles accidentally grazing the leather of his wings, Cassian part-snarled, part-roared. Swore. Held her even tighter as his wings snapped out high and mighty behind him. They wrapped around Nesta’s body before Cassian’s pleasure-fogged mind could stop them curling towards her, starved for her touch.

Fuck, he was unhinged. So desperate for relief—in the scent and feel of his mate—that his control was barely there. Enough so that he didn’t react when Nesta reached out her hand—

Sense knocked Cassian for six only when Nesta’s fingers were millimetres from touching the membrane. He drew back his wings so fast  the air around them stormed, but he swooped in before surprise could register on Nesta’s face. Dipped his chin and coaxed her head even further back so he could claim her mouth.

The taste of her lips was as vital as breathing, the scrape of her nails on his scalp grounding. He moaned into her mouth at the same time as she whimpered. His hand was still moving between her legs, interchanging the same three patterns over and over again, mixing things up as soon as Nesta’s moans grew too untamed: he wanted to draw out her pleasure, not sate it with a few choice strokes.

Pulling away, Cassian pressed a kiss to her forehead. Coaxed her to dip her chin until she was looking back at their reflection in the mirror: ebony and golden brown, tan and cream.

Nesta’s irises were wisps of silver, but when he traversed past that bundle of nerves so he could slip two fingers inside of her, they flickered into living flame.

That was indication enough that she liked what he was doing. Cassian had quickly learnt that Nesta became completely readable between the sheets, that mask slowly crumbling away until she broke completely.

Curving his fingers as much as he could, Cassian pressed upwards hard—again and again— revelling in the strangled sounds Nesta made. The way she writhed but tried her best to hold his gaze.

Cassian dropped a lingering kiss to the crown of Nesta’s head. Murmured into her hair, “Is that good, sweetheart?”

The only response Cassian received was a long moan which extended into a whine as he withdrew his fingers. Then a sharp cry as he swept them upwards, swirling them in a well-practiced motion that had Nesta’s lower half seizing in pleasure.

Cassian circled again. Again. Firmer. Faster. Nesta’s cries grew louder, her breathing became more laboured. A silver wreathed hand flew to his forearm—not to stop him, but to keep him there.

Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.

The bond between them creaked and cracked as it expanded.

Nesta panted his name.

“Are you going to come for me, sweetheart?” Cassian scratched out.

In vain, Nesta attempted to burrow her head into his shoulder, but Cassian’s voice dropped out of soft and into the role of general within the fraction of a heartbeat. “Eyes on the mirror, Nesta, or I’ll stop.”

It seemed to take all of Nesta’s energy to fight her leaded eyelids and meet his dark eyes in their reflection. When she did, Cassian’s magic roared and pounded beneath his skin, as if it was trying to break free and join Nesta’s. There was a pressure and power fuelling the sensation that was separate to him. It was like the magnetic force which rules the relentless ebb and flow of the tide—that desperate crash followed by a scrabbling, thundering retreat.

That twisted rope between them grew corporeal, tugging at their ribcages as if it was clambering to remind them both of its existence. Of the cost of this exchange.

Something deepened in both of their gazes, but if Nesta had felt what Cassian had, she gave no indication. She only arched her hips back into his, grinding backwards.

Cassian loosed a rough groan that skittered across the shell of her ear. Her gaze was purposeful but hooded, as if she was in a continual battle with the pleasure weighting her eyelids.

“Good girl,” he praised as Nesta’s eyelashes fluttered from the strain of maintaining eye contact. And then his fingers were everywhere at once and Nesta’s moans fell away to short gasps that rose in volume.

Nesta tightened her fingers around his neck, scrabbling for purchase, for some sort of tether as her pleasure launched high into the air. The hand that had been at her hip, steadying her, encouraging her to roll back on him moved to her breast; cupping and pinching and rolling as she stuttered pants and words that Cassian couldn’t make out.

When Cassian slid two fingers inside of her again and pressed down firmly on her clit with his palm, Nesta’s cry was wild.

“Look at me,” Cassian ordered as Nesta’s eyes flew shut. His voice was resonant—startling—even to him. It punched through the bubble that had encased them—their entwined scent—and Nesta’s eyes snapped open.

For a beat, time seemed to stand still around them. Their gaze fastened back into place and for a moment, Cassian could see a conflict of thoughts swirl in the magic of Nesta’s irises.

He froze just as anguish crashed down that bond, right into the heart of his chest.

It knocked the breath from him. Confusion rattled inside of his head but he came up empty of answers. Had he gone too far? Had he hurt her somehow?

“Sweetheart—“ he started, but stopped. Unsure of what to say because he could still smell how much she wanted this. Could feel how soaked she was. But perhaps that was what the mating bond did. Fooled reason with an overwhelming drive to pleasure and claim.

Cassian went to draw his hand away but Nesta’s hand whipped out, her fingers curling around his wrist. Desperation flooded her next words—the plea in them stark. “Don’t stop.”

As if to punctuate her point, she rolled her hips. His fingers slid over her of her own accord and she stumbled a moan. Light barrelled down the bond and Cassian’s blood spiked, thrilled as he felt the truth of her words, as she ground back into him again.

“Fuck that feels good,” Cassian grunted into her ear. His hips pushed into the small of her back, accentuating his point. It chased the delicious reprieve from the ache in his cock, even as he knew this moment wasn’t about him. As he pulled her back into the solid muscle of his chest, steadying her movements so he could pick up where he left off: so he could watch the pleasure whip away her conflicted expression until her eyes were once again blazing with the promise of flame.

Silver mist climbed from Nesta’s fingertips into the air. It crawled over the glowing ruby siphons across the backs of his hands, past the corded muscle of his forearm and the rolled up sleeves of his tunic, to his chest, his neck…

A sheen of metal shone in Cassian’s eyes, flickering across his irises so they appeared to turn a metallic gold. The lick of Nesta’s magic didn’t burn. It was a rush of heat—the tender caress of a lover’s kiss instilled into his skin over and over again, ascending Cassian to another realm of pleasure, as if he’d climbed a staircase to an entirely new place.

It felt like an extended method of foreplay Cassian had never been privy to before, lighting up every nerve ending until he was so hard he could cut stone.

Gritting his teeth through the pain-cloaked pleasure, Cassian focussed instead on Nesta’s bare skin.

The tempting fullness of her breasts. The way desire had completely rewritten her countenance. The way she whimpered and then cried out.

Cassian sped up his movements. Until his fingers were no longer teasing, but dancing over her with sure, quick movements designed to thrust her towards a crescendo.

Nesta’s magic swirled into flame, the heat of it a licking promise down Cassian’s limbs. He groaned, swore at the exquisite pain on her face as she hung at the precipice, ready to plummet into rapture.

Her climax became a tangible, living thing and Cassian wanted to see it play out for as long as he possible could. Wanted to see her break for him again and again and again.

So, he waited until she reached the summit and when she was there he slowed down his movements. Ordered through her whimpering, “Look at me Nesta.”

Metallic irises met his, and then Nesta was trembling and shaking in fits and bursts as her release ripped out of her like a taut cord cut loose. Cassian drew her orgasm out as best he could, suspending that pleasure until finally Nesta slumped against him, spineless.

She turned her head to bury it in his shoulder and Cassian let her. Stroked her hair. Pressed a kiss to her sweaty head. Murmured, “Good?”

Slowly, Nesta nodded, but for a long while, that was the only communication he received. But Cassian let her recover. Watched the way her ribcage moved as she heaved for breath. Relished the way her body was splayed out over him, her legs held wide open from where they were hooked over his thighs.

Unable to help himself, Cassian brushed over her sex. Delighted in the way Nesta shuddered rather than batted him away. Fresh desire reignited across her expression and Cassian played gently for a few minutes, revelling in the wetness that had gathered from her release.

Finally, Nesta lifted her head to meet his gaze again. “Did I burn you?”

“No,” Cassian replied hoarsely, his heart squeezing at the genuine fear in her words. He let out a rough laugh, passed his fingers lightly over the knot at the apex of her legs for the last time before he withdrew them.

Nesta moaned softly, even as her brow twisted into a small frown.

“It felt good,” Cassian elaborated. He kissed her shoulder at the same time that he pushed his hips into hers as if to demonstrate just how much he’d liked her magic. “I’m being strangled to death in these pants,” he confessed.

When Nesta cocked her head, her hair moved in a golden tangle. Then she smirked. Unravelled her limbs from him and turned.

Nesta slung her legs over his waist so she was straddling him just as Cassian’s hands caught in her hair. A booming sounded as his wings snapped out and fanned behind him, settling like falling fabric.

“We can’t have that,” Nesta remarked, her breath a whisper against his skin.

“No,” Cassian agreed roughly. “It’s your favourite part.”

Nesta snorted a laugh, but it was not derisive. “Egotistical bat,” she muttered.

A slow, smug smile was Cassian’s only reply. Because he was more focussed on her mouth. With the feel of her silken skin beneath his palms as he ran them up her legs and over her rounded ass. His touch was a promise as he tugged her into his body and ground up into her core, the seam of his trousers doing nothing to relieve the damning ache in his cock.

Together they gasped, and then, as always, they moved at the same time, their mouths slanting one another within a fraction of a second.

The heat of Nesta was liquid, the touch of her smoke—feverish and everywhere all at once. It was the same heat that had roared into existence when Cassian had pinned her against the wall earlier, yet… better somehow. Passionate and awake rather than fogged with lust. Life-giving.

A shuddered groan was pulled from Cassian’s chest as Nesta’s hands slid beneath his tunic and met his burning skin. And then the tunic was on the floor—the rest of his clothing was torn from him soon after. It all happened at such speed Cassian could barely keep up, but when Nesta reached for his bare, burning skin—the tattoos on his arms and the faint scar on his stomach—her fingers were gentle.

“Battle scar,” Cassian panted in explanation, as Nesta’s fingers lingered on the silvery tissue that wound over his lower abdomen: a permanent reminder of what had happened to him during the final battle with Hybern. “The trauma was too great for Madja to heal completely.”

“I remember,” Nesta replied shortly and she looked so fierce that Cassian reached for her. Cupped her cheek with his palm.

“Still breathing, Nes.”

Nesta nodded, but when she kissed him this time there was something fierce and desperate about it, her fingers burying deeper into the mane of his hair.

And then a hand was trailing down his skin and closing around his cock. The touch was sinful and a glimpse of the heavens. When he hissed into her mouth, Nesta gripped tighter—until pain laced the pleasure—just how he liked it.

His groan was that of rumbling thunder as she began to move her hand. It was everything Cassian needed, but it was too much, too good. He scrambled to hold on to some sense of control, because he’d never been this close to losing it from just a few touches.

Then Nesta stopped. Glanced downwards—

The realisation thumped through Cassian so loudly his heartbeat punched like a fist against his ribcage.

“Don’t you dare,” Cassian choked out.

Nesta’s eyes shot to his, but rather than looking startled she arched a challenging eyebrow.

“If you so much as try to put my cock in your mouth I’ll explode,” Cassian rasped.

Before she could protest, he was gathering her to him and had slipped a hand down between her legs.

Just the touch of his fingers had Cassian seizing back control. Nesta stilled at the sudden pleasure, as if she was trying to coax time into suspending the sensation.

“Still so wet,” Cassian purred against the tip of her ear.

Gliding his fingers over the centre of her, Cassian paused briefly at the apex of her legs, toying with her clit, before he ran them back down. When he drew his fingers back, rubbing them together and raising them to the faelight, they glittered.

Nesta’s nostrils flared as if she was an animal in heat. And Cassian knew before he spoke that his voice? would be what pushed them over the edge. But he said it anyway, his voice dropping impossibly low,  “Is this all for me?”

Nesta launched at him until their mouths collided, until they were nothing but a clash of teeth and tongues, their skin so flush they may as well have been fused together.

Burying her fingers deeper into the tangled mane of his hair, Nesta tugged sharply. Met his gaze head on. Demanded, “Fuck me.”

All it took was those two words. Cassian moved, flipping them so Nesta’s back was flush against the mattress. He covered her body with his and Nesta whined at the contact, her body bending and arching towards him as if she were a plant and he was sunlight.

Cassian ran a hand up her bare thigh to her ass, coaxing her leg to bend, but Nesta was too impatient. She broke free from the weight of his body, repositioning herself until legs were wrapped tightly around his hips.

An uneven laugh choked out of him. “So stubborn,” Cassian chided darkly, but he allowed his hips to fall into the cradle of hers. Hissed as he loosed his control and thrust so his cock could glide through her centre. “Fuck,” he grunted. “Nesta, fuck.”

Nesta’s breathy whine fuelled the sparks of pleasure that crackled through him like static energy. He kissed her hard. “There’s a high probability I won’t survive this.”

The snort Nesta loosed tried to sound unaffected, but her voice shook as she accused him, “Liar.”

But he wasn’t lying. And Nesta knew it. She had to know it because his walls were now shattered around them in splintered shards.

Yet, Cassian found himself assuring her. “Not lying," he grunted as he passed over her again. Pressed a lingering kiss to her mouth—a parting goodbye as he moved to kiss the underside of her jaw, down the column of her throat. Down further, to flick his tongue and scrape his teeth over both nipples.

He moaned when she moaned; their sounds a chorus of want until he couldn’t take it anymore. Cassian’s claws clipped around the metal of the bed frame at the same time that he pushed off of the palms that were framing her face, until he was on his knees before her.

Despite the desire coursing through him, Cassian’s head was nothing but clear as he slid his hands under Nesta’s ass and lifted her effortlessly, positioning her so that the undersides of her thighs were flush against his knees.

Nesta’s hair was tousled over the pillow, her lips swollen and parted as she surveyed him. When she tried to wrap her legs back around his hips, Cassian held firm. And despite the fact that Nesta listened to nobody, she allowed him to bend her knees and press his calloused palms to the insides of her thighs in silent instruction.

They fell open and a growl rumbled in Cassian’s throat. His hand was fisting his cock, lining it up to her entrance before he knew what was happening. But then he remembered the pain from before. And even though Nesta was more than ready for him, the thought of hurting her made him feel physically sick.

When he moved away, Nesta let out a strangled noise. A hand shot out, closing around his wrist. “You said you’d fuck me.”

Cassian wanted to explain, but that meant alluding to that tie between them, that instinct that couldn’t allow him to see her hurt. Cassian knew Nesta wasn’t ready for that. Knew that if he so much as breathed a word about it that this precious moment would fall away.

And Cassian was selfish. He had to see how this played out. Had to know if Nesta could grow to accept the bond between them—deem him worthy enough to accept something that was Cauldron blessed.

So, he only drawled, “Patience is a virtue, sweetheart.”

One swift movement had Cassian gathering Nesta into his arms. This time, he allowed Nesta’s legs to wind around him. She gripped him like a vice and Cassian knew it wasn’t from fear of him dropping her. When he sat back against the headboard and guided her onto his lap, Cassian expected her to bite out a comment about doing all of the work, but Nesta only let out a pleased sound. Weaved a hand back into his ebony hair. Wrapped a tight fist around his length, twisting once at the tip, before she guided him to her entrance.

Cassian hissed a curse as she closed around the head. Murmured her name into her mouth. Gripped tightly at her hips when she didn’t stop sinking down on him, as he felt that pain mixed with the sweetest pleasure.

“Nesta.” The way he said her name was firm and commanding, but he still had to dig his fingers hard enough into her skin that he was sure it would leave temporary bruises. The thought made him falter, but then that sharp pain flared again as she resisted against him, and he knew that the bruises were a necessary evil. “Nesta,” he barked, “Go slowly.”

Something creaked and cracked between them. A stretching, growing pain reached its fingers down that bond, the sensation strong rather than constricted as it fought to make its way down their usually thin tie.

Nails dug into Cassian’s neck. A whimper sounded in his ears as Nesta fell forwards, burying her face into his neck. “Please,” she whined in frustration. “Cassian—”

She broke off as she clamped down around him and Cassian felt an ebb of pleasure cut through the pain—that promise of something more.

“Don’t make me hurt you, sweetheart,” Cassian pleaded and the rawness in his voice stopped her resisting against him. He eased a hand between them, touched her right where she wanted him. Allowed her to tug his face upwards so she could kiss him. It was infused with desperation and Cassian eased his hold on her hip. Allowed her to lower herself downwards until she had slid another inch deeper. Continued to stroke her until Nesta began to shake.

“I’m going to—,” Nesta gasped against his mouth. Her body trembled and Cassian’s blood roared at bringing her to the edge again so soon, despite the pain. “Cassian—”

Abruptly, Cassian moved his hand away.

Nesta’s snarl whipped around the room, but Cassian smoothed the sound away by fusing his mouth on hers. She stopped shaking but the sharp bite of Nesta’s glare pierced its teeth through his flesh in a flash of silver.

“It will be better if you wait,” Cassian gritted out in explanation when they parted. Nesta’s breath gusted against his skin. “And I don’t think I can hold on if you come so soon. You feel so good, Nesta. So tight.”

As if on cue, Nesta contracted around him and Cassian ground his teeth together so hard that the muscle in his jaw worked. But he let Nesta slide down on him another inch. Then another. And another. Until their hips were finally flush with one another and that pain had bled away until it was nothing.

The moaned words that fell from Nesta were indistinguishable, but he felt her tremor. Felt that surge inside of him as Nesta repeated herself with a whine that indicated she was toppling over the ledge of control, like a glass teetering before it fell.

And then she was moving and Cassian let her. He was unable to think or breathe. Could only focus on the feel of her.

“Fuck,” Cassian groaned. His head thunked back hard against the headboard as she ground her hips into his, testing the feel of him. “This is better than I’d dreamed.”

No soft snicker, only an untamed whine. Then teeth scraping a sinful path down his neck to his pulse.

Cassian’s hips kicked up hard as her teeth nipped.

“Sorry,” he gasped, because even though Nesta had told him not to hold back, he was still concerned about hurting her. But Nesta’s fingernails bit into his skin and her body moulded to him—a delicious second skin—as she inhaled sharply. “Again,” she demanded with a fierceness that did not allow disobedience. “Do that again—”

It didn’t take a second command for Cassian to thrust up hard. And true to her word, Nesta took him all. Did not change her mind and ask him to hold back. Instead, Cassian knew that this was exactly what she wanted—no, needed. She needed this punishing rhythm just as much as he did.

And it felt… incredible. Beyond anything Cassian had ever felt before. The blood roaring in his ears intermingled with Nesta’s cries and the slap of his hips meeting hers, was the only thing he could hear, his senses narrowed down to the sensation of her wrapped around him, so tight …

It was too good. It threatened to break him, to take everything that he was and reform it entirely, as if he was going to shatter and be pieced back together as someone else entirely. The air around them became taut with pressure, tanning leather stretched too tight over a rack, as if their joining controlled one of the essential elements.

“Cassian.” That one word threatened to break him. Not bat or it or you, only his name falling from her lips as if it was their secret. “More.”

Exhaling a curse, Cassian planted his feet firmly on the mattress and thrust up with as much vigour as he could muster. The movement had them slipping from their upright position and Cassian’s claws absent-mindedly closed around the metal bed frame, strapping them in for the ride as his body coiled and tensed as he slammed into her over and over.

Nesta cried out. Grabbed fistfuls of his hair as they moved together as if they had been made for this moment, their wild gasps melded together until they were one.

Only when release teetered too close to the edge did Cassian drop the rhythm. Cupped the breasts he had dreamed of more times than he could count. The breasts he’d had the privilege of seeing bare and glorious only twice before.

Capturing a nipple between his teeth, Cassian scraped his teeth hard enough that Nesta stopped rocking and angled her hips until he was pressing impossibly deep inside her. She whimpered. Clenched and unclenched. Throbbed in a way that told him she was as close as he was—that if he wasn’t so close himself, he could drive her over the edge with a few well-timed thrusts.

The understanding had him letting out a jagged groan. “Are you close, sweetheart?”

A whine in response, but Cassian didn’t let it go. He raked back the hair from her sweaty forehead. Pressed his lips to her swollen ones in a lingering kiss. Watched the frown that knitted her brow as she was overtaken by the feel of them.

“What do you need, Nesta. Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

Nesta wound her hands around his head, buried her face into his neck. Began swaying and circling her hips in a rhythm that was dictated purely by the chase of pleasure. “Just… this,” she panted. “I just need this.”

Then it was only the licking fire of her breath against his skin. The magic that curled around them like a heated blanket and the building anticipation of both of their releases, which pulled at him like a strange sort of magnetism, begging him to fall with her in unison.

“Cassian—” Nesta began in warning, but he had already felt her begin to quake, as if the ground was moving beneath their feet—the mountains trembling.

That pull became a driving force—a cresting wave of pleasure so profound that Cassian felt that twist inside of him—that signal that he was about to join her.

He groaned, jerking his head back so it collided with wood, the pain grounding him enough that he could say, “That’s it, sweetheart. Come for me.”

As soon as the words left his lips, Nesta broke, as if she’d been waiting for him to ask it of her. Her cry was muffled and Cassian wanted to tear her mouth from his neck—to hear her break for him—but then she was sinking her teeth into his skin right over his pulse.

Roaring, Cassian kicked his hips up hard on instinct as she marked him, but the shock distracted him. Clouded the desperate clamber of his release so he could hold himself back.

Cassian held tightly onto Nesta as she slumped against him. When she lifted her teeth from him, Nesta whined like an animal. Dragged her tongue over the dent she’d made in his neck—once, twice, three times.

He shuddered. Couldn’t help it. Turned his face into her hair. Breathed her in. The gesture was tender, like an animal tending to the wound of a significant other—its mate.

And wrapped in this moment, Cassian could almost believe that this was something more than sex for Nesta as her forehead came to rest on his collarbone. As she kissed the hollow of his throat. Then the knot. His lips.  

“Good?” Cassian asked softly. He lifted a hand to her face, ran a calloused thumb over her cheekbone.

Nesta made a rare, content sound that vibrated through him like a balm. She leant into his hand, her eyelashes swooping down.

When she finally pulled back to survey him, her eyes were still dark. She shifted her hips. Moaned quietly. Rasped, “You’re still hard.”

It was a miracle Cassian hadn’t followed. If it hadn’t been for her teeth in his neck, Cassian would have been wrestling with the embarrassment of finishing too soon.

“I was too preoccupied with your teeth in my neck.”

A flush crept its way up Nesta’s face, like vines reaching their wicked encroaching fingers up a wall. But she raised her chin. “You wanted me to do it.”

It was true, he had wanted her to. And he wanted to do the same to her—to mark her as his so everyone would know that she was off limits for the brief hours before her body healed.

“And what about you?”

The patter of Nesta’s heart broke into a sprint. It was the only thing that betrayed her feelings, her expression devoid of any reaction. “What do you mean?”

Cassian leant forward until their noses brushed. Lifted his eyebrows. “Do you want me to bite you, Nesta?”

Nesta’s nostrils flared. If she had wings, they’d have flung wide by now. Would have collided with furniture and cut through air.

That was answer enough.

In one movement, Cassian lifted himself up and over, until Nesta was on her back and he was pressing her body into the mattress. Breath gushed out of her lungs but it was not from fear, not as Nesta turned herself out bare and tilted her chin for him—for once not in defiance but as an act of vulnerability—of complete and utter trust.

Every instinct in Cassian clambered to the surface, but he closed a fist around it until its life fluttered against the cage of his palms and fingers: his to control, rather than the other way around.

Slowly, Cassian lowered his nose to the exposed skin and breathed her in: her scent and the life that pummelled beneath her skin, the roaring of her blood as it crashed through her veins. It took everything in him not to move inside of her, to thrust up hard and feel the way her breasts would move against his chest.

“I could do it right here,” Cassian murmured, his mouth ghosting over the pale column of her neck until he came across that pulse. He brushed a tongue across it.

The movement was a mirror of what he’d done before in the human realm and Nesta knew it. But this time she did not jerk back from him demanding what he’d done. Instead, her body drew up beneath him, exposing more of her neck, begging for more.

Cassian groaned, raking his teeth over that swell at the same time that he pushed in deep. Nesta’s groan was guttural and everything. His blood turned molten, so hot that he expected his skin to melt away until he was nothing but bones.

“Please,” Nesta panted, her fingers tightening around his back.

Another flick of his tongue over her pulse. “Do you want me to bite you or fuck you?”

“Both.”

That was enough to loosen the fist on Cassian’s control. He sat back on his knees, prying her hands from his neck, coaxing her fingers until they were above her head and clasped around the railings of the headboard. Nesta’s breasts rose with the movement, her peaked nipples so tempting he bent to take one into his mouth. Then the other. Suckled until she mewled and her nipples were no longer rosy but red from his attention.

Cassian lifted his head and surveyed Nesta. Warned her, “Hold on tight.”

And then there was no thinking, no worrying or desperation to hold back. It all came as easy as breathing, their tempo,the snap of his hips and the shift of the mattress as her body shouldered the impact. At some point, Cassian’s body fell over hers, needing to feel every inch of her against him. His wild, punishing rhythm dropped into a rough rocking that was intimate at the same time it was claiming.

Nesta didn’t seem to mind—let out a pleased moan of consent, her legs clamping tighter around his hips until they were flush with hers. When he next moved she whined, and Cassian felt that change inside of her—somehow—that twisting fist of pleasure that glimmered down the bond, pushing against the walls of that thread, pushing it wider and wider, like a heart expanding.

Silver-wreathed fingers tugged his head down until Nesta could claim his mouth, fusing them together so they were complete. Cassian shuddered as her fire cascaded from her fingertips and down his body. His magic, attracted to hers, began to suck out of his pores, but it didn’t leech him of power. Instead, it was like his magic was searching for its mate, desperate to be reunited.

Then that sensation again, as if Cassian had ducked beneath something and had come up for air somewhere else.

Ruby greeted silver like a long-lost lover, blending until their magic was a metallic sheen of scarlet—a fog that misted their bodies, rubbing tantalisingly against their skin as they rocked and moaned their way to release.

“Don’t stop,” Nesta begged desperately through stuttered breaths, and Cassian wondered how many times she’d reached this pinnacle with other males only for it to be taken from her.

Cassian’s hand found its way to her face, his thumb stroking over her cheek as that coiled release twisted across her devastatingly beautiful face. “Can’t,” he panted honestly, his other hand searching for hers across the mattress until he was clasping it—holding on for dear life. “I’m so close, sweetheart. You have no idea how good you feel.”

“Come with me then,” Nesta pleaded. Her eyelashes had fluttered downwards as she took in a sharp breath of pleasure, but now they opened. Stared deep into his soul. “Come with me—”

Then her body turned both loose and taut, clamping yet completely molten as her release ripped out of her.

“Fuck,” Cassian swore. Invisible hands clasped around his ass, tugging him deeper—deeper. Everything in him tightened as Nesta crashed around him, and that siren called to him, singing her name, over and over as pleasure clawed at him, desperate to whip out of him.

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta.

Cassian launched at her neck, his teeth sinking deep enough to claim as Nesta cried out, her body trembling as he continued to thrust into her, wringing out her release at the same time he desperately clambered towards his own.

He managed to pull out just in time, his teeth still deep in her neck, his release spilling hot onto her stomach in bursts of pleasure.

And even though Cassian had vowed to bite her and Nesta had already marked him, he found himself apologising at the red, angry dents in her skin. How was it that he couldn’t bare to hurt her but biting her neck was a completely different story?

“Sorry,” Cassian rasped. His mouth was as dry as a desert as he gingerly touched his fingers to the marks, but Nesta’s fingers clasped around his, halting him. Then she raised her other hand and brushed her knuckles over the identical marking on his. Reminding him that she’d done the same—had been the first to do it.

“I liked it,” Nesta admitted brazenly, but she didn’t stop him from dragging his tongue over the marks. Shivered instead. Held his head to her.

“That was intense,” Cassian rasped eventually against her ear, after the quiet had settled over them like a blanket. He nuzzled at her neck again, unable to help it—just one more precious moment like this until he had to pull away.

When Cassian pulled back to meet Nesta’s eyes, he found that the blue bled back into her irises. “It was always going to be intense,” she replied frankly.

Then Nesta looked down at her body, as if she’d only just remembered how he’d marked her in a different way. “You didn’t have to do that—pull out. I can take a tonic.”

Cassian hadn’t wanted to pull out at all—and neither had that tie which bound them together—but that wasn’t the point. “I’d rather be cautious,” he explained—a little too shortly, because Nesta bristled.

“Neither of us have had a tonic in a while,” Cassian elaborated when Nesta’s expression hardened.

He tried not to think about how his body had been desperate to spill inside of her. For him to press as deep as he possibly could until he was spent.

Climbing off of the bed, Cassian disappeared down the hallway and into the bathroom. When he returned, he was holding a wet towel.

“A while?” Nesta queried, picking up their conversation, as he began to clean her up.

Cassian cocked an eyebrow, but he didn’t dare meet her eyes lest she read him. His shoulders turned rigid at the thought. “Have you been sneaking people in and out of the bungalow that I’m not aware of?” he asked.

They both knew that Cassian would tear any male she brought back to the bungalow to pieces, but neither of them voiced it.

“You go back to Velaris,” Nesta accused. “You visit the other camps.”

For a moment, Cassian stared at her. Did she believe that he’d been fucking other fae? She had taunted him in Velaris the other day, but Cassian had thought that it was just their extended, agonising tussle of foreplay.

Perhaps you should go in search of some female company tonight.

Cassian managed to huff a breath, but it wasn’t one of amusement. He knew that his expression was steely as he said, “I told you that I don’t sleep with Illyrians. And I haven’t been fucking around in Velaris.”

From the way Nesta’s expression darkened, Cassian wasn't sure she believed him.

She opened her mouth to throw back a retort, but Cassian wanted the discussion to end. If she knew he’d barely touched another female since he’d met her, she’d run the other way. It was too intense a confession for someone who didn’t know what they wanted.

“It was self-inflicted,” Cassian supplied, his tone flinty enough to warn her that he wasn’t willing to discuss the subject any further.

Climbing off of the bed to further his point, Cassian extended a hand towards her. Banished any of the rigidity to his posture. “Come stand in the tub with me.”

There was a sinful promise behind the order. Already Cassian could envisage how he’d press Nesta against the tiles, his lips trailing open mouthed kisses as he kneeled before her—

Nesta must have thought similarly, because the pleasure that sparked in his stomach was not his own. But still she studied him, her head cocked as if she was trying to figure him out. Her hair was a muss of golden brown, her skin glistening with sweat that Cassian wanted to lick off.

Nesta parted her lips, taking stock, but Cassian didn’t allow her to speak. “I’ll make it worth your while,” he vowed. Meant it. Because already he was turning hard again, that desire to have her roaring.

He’d known this would happen. Knew that finally being inside of her wouldn’t sate him but stoke the embers into flames. But Cassian didn’t hide it—utterly unashamed of this need for her. From the way Nesta’s nostrils billowed, he knew she'd marked the change in his scent.

Nesta’s eyes flicked to his cock and the she-devil smirked, her lips curving in a way that had Cassian thinking about how they might wrap around him—how her tongue might feel, how warm she’d be…

In one supple movement, Nesta stood. Took his hand, her slim fingers threading around his large ones. Raised her chin and levelled him with a smoky blue gaze that promised wicked, wonderful things. “Then lead the way, general.”

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[thedaddycomplex]

I haven’t posted a progress pic in a while. So… here’s my progress.

I’m still doing a 5K run and strength training five times a week, but now I’m breaking it up into:

3 days of exercise

1 rest day

2 days of exercise

1 rest day

While doing research for my latest book, Pretty Sure You’re Fine (<- shameless plug), I learned my previous schedule of 5 days exercising in a row was actually not the best way to go. If you’re into fitness you already knew, but I didn’t realize your body doesn’t build muscle when you exercise, it builds it when you rest. Hence, my adjusted schedule.

And the workout bench my family got me has made my strength training exercises—crunches, weights—much more efficient.

If this picture looks nearly identical to my last progress shot, it’s because I’ve kinda plateaued. While I’m tracking my calories, I’m not really changing what I eat. (What? I like pasta.) And I also still enjoy cocktails, too, and alcohol is like a calorie bomb.

So, barring a tapeworm, this might be my final form. And I ain’t complaining. I used to get winded trotting with my dog for half a block. Now, I’m in the best shape since I was in college and back then I looked like a heroin addict on a hunger strike.

And I’m going to reiterate my advice about getting in shape, especially for people like me who feel like doing so is an insurmountable task: Start small and don’t weigh yourself.

Yes, I said don’t weigh yourself. I have only weighed myself twice since I started this fitness journey a year and a half ago.

You see, when you start exercising you may not see any results for a long time. So, if you continually look for a drop in pounds and don’t see them, you could get discouraged and give up. Instead of setting a weight loss goal, try setting a routine goal and, like I said, start small. Try to walk for a half-mile. Once that gets easy, add a half-mile. Once that gets easy, jog that mile. Just slowly level up your routine, but that routine is the goal.

It worked for me, anyway.