#you won't get me bitch
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somehow forgot to post this for five months but DIGGING UP MY SPREAD FROM DONZINE ✌️✌️ which you can still check out btw!! donnie my garden warrior
#i'm still posting this is 2023 surely that counts for something right#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise donnie#avepharts#donzine#bad bitches (me) will work on an artwork for two months and then never post it. cough i mean who said that#eyestrain#not really kinda? in case. anyway.#you should be able to click each side to zoom it was designed for a double spread but tumblr probably gonna crunch this shit so#i won't get into why there wasn't a super public release of this zine but it IS STILL THERE! if you wanna check it out loads of amazing art
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illario was so right... this one traumatized crow boy really can contain such a universe of pure and childlike wonder at the mere existence -- the concept! -- of wyverns. even through the horrors
#after hearing that caterina would never let him have a wyvern dagger even when he grew up rye is definitely and for sure#buying lucanis every kind of wyvern-themed thing his little special interest heart could desire.#all while keeping hard unbroken eye contact with caterina over lucanis' shoulder#bitch I'm a speaker to the dead and the dead are savage fucking TRY me if you dare I won't hesitate#(I think the more he starts to glean about lucanis' childhood the more this is just rye's general stance with caterina at all times haha#'he loves you despite everything so I won't actively make trouble here. but the ice you're on with me is SO paper thin lady'#I think caterina has enough instinct to recognize real danger honed through a long and lethal life to heed the warning)#hearing the complete unvarnished delight in his voice when you buy him the dagger in treviso was probably rye's '...oh' moment haha#his banter about potentially using the body after a contract to bait in wyverns so he could just. look at them.#because just getting to look at them would be enough.#this guy is autistic and also a huge loss to the academic field of zoology in a different life he would have written The definitive text#about wyverns. there would be nothing left to discover after he was done he'd get it all#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte
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Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.
#my stuff#i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks#like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy#hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month?#can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control#can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me?#and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone#so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks#im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better#i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up#cause i can see that happening#i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something#and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends.#and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you#i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once.#and that's not me. that's not who I want to be.#i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.
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in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)
#necrotic nuisance#<- new tag for nonserious shit like this#batfamily#batclan#deafculture#i think not including bruce in this poll bc i ran out of options is *so* fucking funny so i'm keeping it#bc realistically i could bump off more tertiary characters like harper or jpv to include him#but i won't.#hearing people are seriously invited to reblog and share opinions or headcanons i'm so genuine#just like. behave about it.#i have personal headcanons but i will save sharing them until the poll is finished#as not to skew results#i also have a hunch on who will lead. based on popular headcanons i see#but i will also not share that as to not skew it#i'm using the Deaf identity as an umbrella term that can include Hard of Hearing as well btw#so if your headcanon is more HoH leaning it is counted#i do believe this is something most fans haven't rlly thought about#but i *really* want to write fics with Deaf rep and i have been waffling on who to make Deaf#so. this poll is also a field test of who you would like to see me (a Deaf bitch) write as Deaf.#and i totally pinky promise not to project super duper hard on them. (i'm so lying)#i will get back to writing and the ask games i promse!#tomorrow i have the day off after 4 bc someone else is watching the baby so ic can just chill#also *please please* if you have disabled headcanons for any batfam (or DC in general) character#send them to me. i want to see them. i would love to talk about them with you.#as an anon ask as a message as a reblog idc#gimme.#this isn't my usual content but shhh lemme be self indulgent.#both bc i'm curious and bc i wanna write Deaf shit so. we take a break from my usual nonsense for this.#i'll post writing tomorrow to make up for it#also i have to remind myself this is my blog i can do what i want with and not just be a content machine. yk
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"Speed. I. Am. Speed."
*cue several race car engine sounds*
Little occasional gift to my dear friend @blues-hub-blog because I felt like it XD
#blues-hub-blog#Paw Patrol#Mighty Pups#Paw Patrol Mighty Pups#Chase#Paw Patrol Chase#Chase Paw Patrol#Paw Patrol Fanart#My Art#Fun fact once I literally had just finished the sketch the job tablet I've been using to draw lately literally went:#“Bitch you gotta free up some storage space otherwise I won't let you keep editing this artwork lol”#The plot twist: THERE'S NOTHING MORE FOR ME TO DELETE AT ALL how am I supposed to free storage space#This is getting troublesome I want my computer back aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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you know, sometimes (like now) when i'm trying to fix my sleep schedule and add a little bit more rigidity to my daily schedule, i think about this time in grad school i was going into my final semester and i knew it was going to be crazy so i thought i'd get ahead of it and seriously overhaul my daily habits/try to get on a healthier, more manageable schedule. it was a solid first week: i had my work done by 6, i made dinner, i had time to chill before bed, and it was lights out around 10. i remember telling my then roommate this information very excitedly--it was a pretty rare occurrence for me! and i just remember they looked at me a little sadly and said, "well. you know it won't last, though, right?"
and you know what? it didn't! and not to play the blame game but what they said certainly didn't HELP
#literally every time i try to fix my sleep schedule i hear that phantom voice in my head#'you know it won't last though right?'#like COME ON#give a bitch a break an attempt is an attempt RIGHT?#anyway#if you catch me on this webbed site after 4am EST you have free rein to tell my ass to get OFF tumblr and GO TO BED#i might even listen#you never know
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we had to go thru this whoooole thing at work months ago bc my coworker was purposefully giving me all the big cases and taking the small ones for himself so now we split the stack in half to prevent that but the stack is front loaded with a bunch of big cases and that bitch comes in like 15 minutes early EVERY DAY to make sure i get the half of the stack with the most work so i said something like "hey why don't we alternate who gets the first half bc it's always bigger and i get it every day and clearly our supervisor doesn't care" instead of calling him directly on it and he started waffling like "ohh i never noticed a difference" and so i was like ok so then you should be ok with doing it this way !! if it makes no difference :-) and he never said yes he just got annoyed and started picking cases which is confirmation enough that he's been doing it on purpose this whole fucking time i'm sorry i just hate him literally so badddd like he SUCKS !!!
#and he tried to be like 'well jill said we should stop bickering abt who gets more work and fairness' okay you first bitch !!!#u can't treat me like i'm stupid and won't notice im gonna start coming in a half hour early to make sure u don't touch shit i stg
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The 1x00 AHiB -> 4x06 glowup
#this just reminded me I need to make a ''being there for your friends when they need you'' post#because that shit is EVERYWHERE#LIKE THAT'S ALL THEY FUCKING TALK ABOUT#''It's okay sandy! You're always there for us when we need you. The least we can do is be there for you when you need us.'' (4x06)#''No! Mei is my best friend. I'd never abandon her when she needs me—we're heroes! It's what we do!'' (3x10)#''You don't know! We'd risk it for sure! I won't abandon them when they need us'' (4x02)#''As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend- I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me.'' (2x08)#''Wukong only values people by how useful they are to him'' (3x08)#''No no honestly—this is exactly what I need right now. I'm trapped under a mountain- but the 6-earred macaque brought me a peach!''#(4x11)#Literally just the shit off of the top of my head#and then. And then that in contrast with#''I get it. I'd do anything for my friends! But at the cost of the world?'' LIKE GOD DAMMIT LEGOS#You took the basic bitch ''Help you friends'' theme and went ''But what if helping your friend hurt others'' like come on man#Hello#Where am I#I'm dying. I'm dying#Okay imma go do hw......I guess....whatever....#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk parallels#lmk Sandy#lmk Mei#lmk Pigsy#lmk Tang#OH GOD ALSO. ''I will become someone they can depend on...the way I can always depend on them!'' (3x08)#AND#''But you're always there when I need you- so it's time for me to return the favor!'' (2x04)#Which also just ties into ''we'll figure this out together'' as a whole right#what. ever.
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Really enjoying writing Book 2/Season 6 of this monstrosity, where instead of having Sansa and Jon fighting to regain Winterfell and all that nonsense with the "Battle of the Bastards," it's gonna be like 10K of Sansa being the Warden of the North equivalent of that mom who just needs FIVE MINUTES OF PEACE AND QUIET YOU GODDAMN KIDS
To the Lord Robin Arryn, Defender of the Vale and Warden of the East, and my Dear Cousin,
I write to you from Wint
"Sansa — sorry, Lady Sansa, you'll never believe—"
"Jeyne, you don't have to call me 'Lady Sansa,'" Sansa said as she looked up from her parchment. "You're the steward of Winterfell now."
Jeyne Poole, hanging onto the handle of the door and swinging it absently back and forth like she'd done back when they were ten years old, frowned. "My da always said the Lord and Lady of Winterfell were worthy of respect."
Sansa leaned back in her chair. Father had dealt with the business of the holdfast in the Library Tower, so he could wrestle with the accounts without being interrupted every twenty minutes. Sansa had always thought that a bit unfair, since it meant you had to climb all those stairs just to find him, but now she was wondering if she could perhaps build the tower twenty or thirty feet higher. The exercise would probably do her good. "Your father always called mine 'oi, you,' if I recall correctly."
The look Jeyne gave her was deeply unimpressed. "Aye, and you always complained about it. Do you want to hear about the cow loose in the guest house or not?"
erfell at last, which was the dearest wish of your beloved goodfather Petyr. His dying words were to express the hope that both his goodson and his niece be safe and secure in their homes, and I am glad to say tha
"Lady Sansa, Master Mikken has refused another dozen apprentices. He said they're all 'knuckleheaded clods who wouldn't know a round ball fuller from a chisel punch." This time it was her master-at-arms, who'd been Rodrick Cassel's round-faced child named Beth when Sansa had left. Now he went by Cass and looked like he could wrestle a (very short) bear if needs be.
"I don't know a round ball fuller from a chisel punch," Sansa replied, frowning.
Cass shrugged. "Well, and nor do I. But that's near fifty lads he's turned away. We need someone helping with the forges. We've been making do with the army smiths that Prince Stannis let us—"
"Prince Stannis?" He was going to hate that.
Another shrug. "We've got to call him something, milady. You won't call him 'king,' nor will any of your bannermen, but his soldiers give us no end of trouble when we call him 'lord.' So 'prince' it is. And he is one, too, ain't he? King Robert's brother. That'd make him a prince, right?"
Sansa answered with a shrug of her own. By the time Stannis and his companies returned from the Dreadfort, everyone in the North would likely have settled on Prince Stannis, which would lead to a great deal of shouting and probably threats of lighting people on fire, but she had at least a fortnight to think of something.
"As I was saying, we can't use the Baratheon smiths forever, and the ones from our bannermen have all gone home with their bannermen. Mikken needs apprentices, and we need our forge at full strength."
"All right, let's go speak with him," Sansa sighed.
t through the goodness of Stannis, of House Baratheon, and his masterful command of the armies of the North and the Stormlands, I am now secure as Warden of the North.
Not only that, but your dear cousin, my brother Rickon has somehow survived all the danger that the North has presented, while it was under the thrall of the Ironborn and House Bolton. He is now safe and I will reu
"My lady?" Maester Wolkan peered his head into the room.
#the entire chapter is this#I think she gets interrupted 7 times#and yes once or twice she interrupts herself with FEELINGS#but still have you ever sat down to do a task and just like - EVERY ONE AND THEIR DICK NEEDS 'JUST A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME'#Sansa's about ten minutes away from putting a sign on her door that's like 'don't bother me unless you're on fire'#and even that won't help because a lot of people in Winterfell can't read so it's gonna get real D.W. for her#game of thrones motherfuckers#got: bitches get shit done#lol eta to put in the blacksmith joke I forgot to look up
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Rattoo ideas 🐭
#still just ideas#like i need to simplify them to work better as tattoos#but woo rodents#those are bmth lyrics#don't you know I'm a seed? i won't stop at the roof#so go ahead bury me#really resonated w me post self discharge from hospital in 2021 and into 2022 as outpatient#re-living a LOT of anger over that again rn#it took me 2 years and ongoing development but I TOLD YOU TO BACK OFF AND LET ME GROW#mfs trying to install new rules and behaviours into the person that being that is nothing but rules and behaviours#bitch I said i wanted to RECOVER not just get reprogrammed don't touch me#anyways vagueposting over look at ratties :3#boat one is in memory of all my rats that have crossed to the other side <3#rats#raty's art#rat
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this sunday is really sundaying
#ngl 2024 has been quite the year of revelations#THE GRIEF IS NEVER ENDING#if 2025 isn't the year of healing AND therapy I'll do something drastic and you will see me on the news#love how I can't talk about my feelings and trauma with my own family because I'm “exaggerating”#i know what's the cause of my shitty memory and other things but they won't even listen to me#they don't even want to admit how much they've been treating me like fucking shit throughout my whole life#i get flashbacks for a reason#like thanks bitch. i hope you die slowly and painfully#rambles
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rick riordan dickriders on here will be like "why are you complaining about the pjo tv show, go watch the movies and see what a bad adaptation really looks like" ok well listen to the musical watch it on youtube and see what a good adaptation looks like bitch. it can be done. as a fucking stage musical. what did that 15 million per episode do for disney that chris mccarell couldn't
#this is such a mean post from someone who does genuinely like the show I'm sorry#like there are aspects I really love!! and aspects I really don't!! which makes it mid for me#but I do genuinely like it overall. at least enough to continue watching#it's just that I see sooooo many people who seem to have this attitude like you can't critique it at all??#and their arguments are usually just. “movies were worse” (so we'll take anything now as long as it's not that?)#or “rick was involved in the writing” (<- NOTTT guaranteed to be a good thing lmao)#anyway it's pissing me off. I'm gonna bitch. “if you like the books so much read the books” I WAS PROMISED A BOOK ADAPTATION#AM I WRONG FOR COMPLAINING WHEN I DON'T GET WHAT I WAS PROMISED#“oh but changes are okay as long as it preserves the spirit of the books” since when was the *spirit* of the books a FUCKING BORE🤨#also the cast doesn't deserve this. stick leah and aryan and walker in a better show#pjo#pjo tv show#pjo disney+#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#the lightning thief musical#anyway all this to say some of the changes and choices are Actually Bad and it won't kill you to admit that I think#rereading this post in the drafts and editing before posting when I was handwringing about how mean it was bitch this is mild
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NaNo 2024: Victory!!
Hello, world, here's my tidied desk in the aftermath of FINISHING ANOTHER BOOK!!! It took me EXACTLY four (4) pens this year (I was literally writing my wrap-up stats in the back of the notebook when the in on the last one started to go!), on 82 pages across two (2) notebooks, and preliminary* word count is 71,541!! (*subject to change once typed--I count by hand and tweak as I type haha.)
Also featuring: the NaNo Earrings, Volumes 2 and 3 of the Bitch Journal (where I whine about writerly things and also Reflect On My Process--I learned very much this year and got a lot of dopamine from it!!), the tiny watch that kept me company in my tertiary writing space, the earplugs that made working at home Tolerable (mostly), and some of the frantic scribbles on scrap paper (I got a LOT of mileage out of a dead receipt that Panera misprinted for me lol).
Now, onward to TYPING!! I would love for this not to take most of December, so I'll probably have more Unhinged Goals About That (I don't know why I am the way that I am), but! The hard part is done!!
#nano2024#hh#writing#i already don't love the title i wrote at the top of the manuscript by the way lol#i might just call it 'the wintergreen house'#instead of a street address#it doesn't need a street address because of where it is#i just also like how 'seventeen wintergreen' sounds so....unclear lol#and anyway listen the half a space lichen doesn't really vibe with names humans can pronounce anyway#so they end the book not sure what to call it#or how to refer to it#which is fair because how would YOU try to pronounce a constellation of flashing lights and weird almost-smells??#exactly. good luck lol#ANYWAY I HAD SO MUCH FUN I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT MY PROCESS (i have tag rambled about this elsewhere i won't do it again lol)#100/10 recommend doing a Journal Thing if you have a creative process btw#to hack your way around said creative process#The Bitch Journal has been THE biggest game changer for me in writer land lately#it started out like the top one says 'mostly just whining' but it's wild how easily that slides into Reflection and Figuring Yourself OutLO#if i ever taught writing this is the only kind of journal i would implement#i had a professor who wanted us to do Idea Journals which fine cool observation things#but GOSH this one was SO MUCH MORE HELPFUL TO ME#and really framing it as whining was SO good#because you get all the gunk out and then words can GO#anyway. everyone needs a Bitch Journal i think#be a bitch do your bitching etc#nano#the Void already started coming for me last night btw#IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THE POST PROJECT CRASH LEAF ME ALONE!!!!
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*says the most vile and bigoted shit ever* and I say this as literally [group they're being bigoted against]
how bout you shut the fuck up forever
#wrongest opinion ever is 'I get to be [x]phobic bc I'm literally [x] and this doesn't make me a [x]phobe' shut the fuck up#queer#lgbtqia#esp esp esp looking at asexual aphobes. Shut up and remain shush. No one asked you and no one is giving you straight points#for selling out your entire community. The straights won't accept you for pointing out how 'weird' we are. Bitch.#queerphobia#lgbt#lesbian#gay#bisexual#transgender#pansexual#asexual#aromantic#PSA: don't.
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I'm planning on drinking boozy hot chocolate and bingeing s6 of wwdits tonight once the sun goes down. I probably won't put most of my liveblogging in the main tags (they probably don't need the additional spam rn) but I'll probably use my usual "nandermo tag"/"wwdits tag" combo if you want to block it.
in that weird place where I didn't particularly enjoy a lot of s5 but I still have mild hopes for s6 and I do feel a compulsion to watch the (apparently very complicated) ending live tomorrow. for old time's sake.
#my dad has actually been watching s6 live so I've had to deal with him bitching at me about how he hasn't been enjoying most of it#meanwhile mom has refused to watch it since the episode with freddie lmao#no matter how much most of fandom hated that episode my mother hated it more#and she wasn't even a shipper lmao#my friends seem to be divided between a few people who are loving it and a few people who think it's mediocre#(though I'd say most of my friends have... just stopped watching it...)#I guess I'll find out what I think soon enough#it's the only season where I haven't been desperate to watch the new episodes when they came out#and idk if it's just that I've been stressed lately and I don't have the spoons to get really invested in something#or if the finale of s5 really just killed my love for this show that thoroughly#it's a weird feeling when a show that you used to live or die for now fills you with mild dread#I won't lie it's how I started to feel about comics fandom near the end#it comes from still thoroughly loving the characters but no longer trusting the writers I think#oh well once more into the fray#wwdits tag#nandermo tag
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I'll be honest about switch 2 and the reveal pisses me off so much that my new objective in life is getting a very nice PC and learn how to emulate all Nintendo games 🚶
Idc anymore I'll get the fat Italian plumber games for free
#if there is a will there is a way and I'll pirate that shit#I'm so mad because god... really is bigger and more fragile than the other?#is like owning an iPhone just you get a new model every couple of years and people are fine with that???#it won't make scarlet and violet better bro... if it's broken is broken#like i had my little perfect adorable switch light since animal Crossing came out... she's PERFECT can't ee stick with her?#more like Nintendo give me games on the other console too don't be a bitch.#oh... i hate big games companies so much this is why i only care for indies and very old games
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