#you won't find a better one
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It's that time of year again!
This is THE quintessential Spotify Halloween Playlist. All the rest of them can go home.
Every year, I take this playlist out, dust it off and freshen it up with new songs that I've discovered over the past year. I've been doing this for over 4 years now and as you can imagine, the playlist is now quite long. Approximately 5 days long, actually.
This playlist was not designed to be listened to all in one sitting; rather, it was meant to be enjoyed intermittently (in no particular order) throughout the next few weeks as a means to get one in the mood for spooky season!
This playlist is not for the faint of heart. It is compiled from a wide variety of music spanning across all genres, including rock n roll, rap, pop, punk, metal, movie soundtracks, and many more. There is something for everyone to enjoy here.
The mood of this playlist is quite the rollercoaster, and once you strap in, you must prepare yourself for what it throws at you. It's best to listen to it on shuffle for the full effect. It's more of a surprise that way!
This would be perfect for a Halloween party or just to get your holiday spirits up when you're not feeling spooky enough!
I would appreciate it if any of you could take a look at this playlist and give me some suggestions for any scary or Halloween themed songs that you think would be a good addition!
CW: This playlist contains music with mature themes such as violence and real life murder. There are also songs dealing with Satanic imagery, so if you are easily offended by that sort of thing, then you probably should steer clear as well.
If you listen to this playlist and enjoy it, please give it a like, because I worked very hard on it!
#quintessential Halloween Playlist#best halloween playlist ever#you can listen to it for hours and never been done#I spent a lot of time working on this#please listen to my playlist#my incredibly long gratuitous halloween playlist#you won't find a better one#i guarantee it#Spotify#halloween
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I love when characters are sent away from their home at a young age and they're given false hope that they can return if they meet an impossible goal 🙏
#Zuko#and you won't believe this#stanley pines#Listen#Zuko was told to find the Avatar that hadn't been seen in one hundred years#IMPOSSIBLE GOAL#(ignore the fact that he actually did find the avatar)#and Stan was kicked out to get a million dollars#especially since he was kicked out at 17?? in what world smh#If i could take those two and kidnap them to give them a better life I would do it faster than you can say “in a heartbeat” 🙏#gravity falls#avatar the last airbender
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Hi. I just had an idea about temporally misplaced Danyal Al Ghul.
Clockwork yoinked him after he was seriously injured and patched him up. Basically saved him. And then yeeted him to the past to be adopted by the Fentons.
So by the time Danny and Damian have a reunion Danny is in his late 20s at most, early 20s at the very least. And he is most definitely a shapeshifting magical eastern dragon with a cult and all that.
I do not make anything having to do with Danny being related to the Al Ghuls.
However
This gives me the foundation to do such a thing.
Alright, so we would need to find a reason why Clockwork would even want to help Danny in any sort of capacity since he wasn't being pushed to kill him because of the observants.
But what if the reason was because he needed someone to beat some sense into (and I am both sorry and not at all sorry for this) his husband turned tyrant turned sleeper soon into the future. Since in a few timelines Danny does beat Pariah Dark he just, decided to push him onto that path.
The perfect opportunity presented itself when Danny was heavily injured in a battle between brothers to decide the true heir, to which both was heavily injured actually, and yoinked him away, patched him up, and left it to the LoA to assume he was just dead after his body disappeared.
So then, following the timeline he foresees where he fought against Pariah, gently and carefully guided him along the timestream (For which to prevent the notice of other Masters of times) to a few years prior and landed him in the care of the Fentons.
Over the years he did gently nudge things here and there to have the Fenton's views on ghosts changing slowly, but surely, as thanks to the boy for unknowingly helping him.
Oh, and avoiding a disastrous future, he guesses.
Everything followed along with his plan, slowly coming to fruition until the boy knocked some sense into his husband, to which made him the new king of the Ghost Zone after the Observants deemed Pariah unfit to rule beyond this point anymore, and as a boon because he was unable to have the Crown and ring in Pariah's possession (given to Clockwork to watch over, so as to not have a repeat of Pariah Dark), he was granted the ability to turn into an eastern dragon at will.
Occasionally he sent the boy back into the past to right some wrongs, avoid disaster, and to occasionally collect the soon-to-be Duke after he found himself in the past. Though he does find himself (and his husband) amused at seeing the boy slowly having a cult built in his name.
Danny's honestly been living the good life, no longer being expected to succeed the League of Assassins and leaving it up to his twin, he was adopted by a new family who, while a bit eccentric was amusing nonetheless, and they did become a true, proper family after his reveal went exceedingly well!
He was 25 now, and decided to take a break from both his kingly duties, and Amity Park, his parents pushed him to take this as a well-deserved vacation and, since Jazz was also in Gotham, he could drop by and say hi to her!
Danny was a bit miffed about leaving the inner-workings of the Ghost Zone to Vlad, more so that it's him than anything. But he did at the very least trust the Duke's skill in making everything go as smoothly as possible and having him consumed in paperwork would stop his brooding over being unable to find that guy, he had a one-nighter with.
(He's honestly surprised anyone would do that, but he guesses people have... interesting tastes. Also, a brooding phoenix, to his displeasure, was far worse than a phoenix trying to woo his mother.)
So he stopped by Gotham, said hi to sister and decided to crash at her place for a while. Wandered around Gotham, seeing the sights, tasting the food, talking to people.
A very good vacation, in his books.
So now what was he supposed to do, when he found his vacation interrupted by what was undoubtedly his twin along with the goddamn Wayne's showing up in his sister's apartment.
They gave him a jumpscare of a lifetime, honestly. But also couldn't they do this somewhere else? Like, a coffee shop, perhaps?
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny and damian are twins#au#ghost king danny#You all better be happy with me adding in this tag because I literally never do something like this#It most probably won't happen again.#Or it would idk#Also you know how to get to another man's heart with that Eastern Dragon and Cult addition huh?#Of course I'm going to slide in Phoenix and Duke Vlad as well#Also the man Vlad had a one-nighter with was Constantine#And Vlad is insufferable while brooding#How did Vlad end up in the past?#Well#He wanted to use it to find the guy he had a one-nighter with#But since he has no control over time#Yea#You get the picture
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I read your post about if nightmare gives up his boys & my heart was aching so badly ;w;
Dadmare want what's best for his boys 😭
He does!! As much as he hates to admit it, they mean the world to him and he wants them all to be happy. Not only because of what they've done for him in helping him not hate the world anymore, but after all they've been through themselves.
Even if it meant he wouldn't see them anymore, he couldn't stand the idea that he was hurting them by keeping them trapped with him y'know? If you love somebody you have to let them go and be free. But also, maybe he could come and visit sometimes if they moved out? Or they could visit him? Please 🥺
Thankfully it doesn't come to that though, they like staying outside the castle sometimes for a little break but none of them plan on leaving, it's what they all consider home <3
Or, as Dust would put it if Nightmare asked, "we haven't paid rent in like 6 years, what kind of idiot would move out??"
#UTDR#Ask#Anon#Dust puts it very practically which helps when Nightmare's getting in his head about their wellbeing lol#They don't have to worry about rent or bills or food or anything they pretty much just have to do chores#Laundry dishes vacuuming and the odd mission are a small price to pay as far as they're concerned#They ARE getting better about saying when they want things. ...well Killer's getting better at snitching on them when they have wants#and won't speak up about it themselves but y'know. close enough#That's kind of how I imagine this whole thing started in the first place#Killer reports to Nightmare when one of them won't say there's something they want or need#Because Nightmare wants them to be happy and Killer does too (and he also wants Nightmare to make him the favourite)#And at some point Nightmare stopped and realised there was no one to report what Killer wanted#So he asked him outright and that's how the Color thing happened#So we've come full circle lol#Anyway they would always find a way back to him one way or another. you're not getting rid of us that easy old man!!!#Thank you for this!! I'm really glad people like my silly sappy dadmare thoughts <3#Sorry it took so long to answer I've been trying to do laundry and groceries and I keep getting distracted lol
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FE Secret Santa (10/10)
Robin(male) for @silversongmsp
My final submission of the year for the @feshippingpolls secret santa event
#fanart#myart#fire emblem#okay checking some things off tag wise just in case#tw gore#tw body horror#tw horror#tw mutilation#tw eye imagery#let me know if theres any i missed and i'll try to add them <:>#or in other words#ask to tag#fe robin#ah the final secret santa i have to make for this year#honestly was expecting the whole thing to go longer for me#not that im complaining it gives me time to finish up my assignments#(although i do find it a lil funni that im prob the reason next time is gonna have a limit of five submissions per person)#i think this one im gonna ramble a bit more then the other ones#because awakening was my first fire emblem game and i have a lot of feelings about it#hell got a lot of feelings about robin as a character too#like dude is really fitting for the story of awakening#destined to destroy the world and be the death of all he loves#really one put in the situation and having knowledge of what you're supposed to be-#-how are you supposed to live if you know it won't last?#is it better to become numb to it all so you won't be heartbroken?#or let yourself have a bleeding heart knowing there isn't anything you can do about it?#defying destiny has always been a trope i love especially in the context of un-dooming the narrative#yes the future was saved but so was somebody destined to destroy it#i just think that's really cool#and whether you view the relationship between Chrom and Robin as romantic or platonic or any other option
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I think one thing i really hate about Veilguard is that in this attempt to make Solas less sympathetic they do simplify his motivations and end up doing things specifically for people to dislike him (re: the whole Varric storyline),
but they also just make everyone around him paragons of virtues so it becomes clearer, so it does end up being too black and white.
Like Solas has flaws! he's ruthless! he would kill his friends if they got in the way of his goals! A lot of people died because of the calls he made! he's pragmatic! he copes by not seeing people as "real"! He manipulates other people! those sucks, right?
But in DAI he's balanced with Bull who also says that he has to deshumanize the people in front of him to just be okay with killing them. or Vivienne who casually mentions that killing the servants is a normal way to play The Game. Or Dorian who argues in favor of slavery in the main game and then approves of Fen'Harel's methods in Trespasser after he starts to realize radical action is necessary. Or Blackwall who made a terrible call too as a general once and still is paying the consequences of it. Or Leliana who is also someone who was made into a weapon to support someone she loved "her call, but my conscience to bear the consequences". Also just Leliana or Vivienne or Josephine being quite manipulative themselves.
Or even Felassan in The Masked Empire letting Imshael kill innocent elves, being ready to kill Briala once she starts to see through his plan.
Or Solas' arrogance over everything he knows about the past that clashes with Morrigan's own arrogance about it when they talk in the Temple of Mythal.
Veilguard meanwhile both have the most inoffensive companions of the whole franchise (none of them deal with guilt for something they actually did, at worse they have misplaced guilt (Bellara), else don't worry even the assassin knows he only ever kills bad people. (compared to Zevran who knows he had been sent to kill people who perhaps didn't deserve it).), and when it can bring back a character from before, it's by stripping them of anything that would make them sympathize with Solas.
Re: Felassan losing his edge completely just to be shocked about Solas' actions, or Morrigan joking about how she humansplained him elven history and "resolving" her conflict with Mythal offscreen to better lecture Solas' about his own later. (which i'm so angry at, Morrigan's "arc" this game made me so angry, my god.)
So instead of Solas being flawed, the way Any Dragon Age Character is flawed, he's demonized to the extreme while also refusing to have any characters match his freak.
And it's not even mentioning how Rook fails at also having any chances of relating to Solas, in a way the Inquisitor could (if only because as a leader sometimes you make calls that will get people killed. Re, all the people who died in Adamant or in the Grey Wardens' War Table missions, and it's not even mentioning the one War Table mission about whether to sacrifice innocents to find Red Templars or give up on a promising lead.)
And it's why lots of Solas' fans will end up being much more defensive about him because the gap created in Veilguard is just... deeply out of synch with the way the franchise had dealed with controversial characters yet.
That makes Veilguard a lot more frustrating than it even is to start with.
#my fav characters are usually liars and people who carries intense guilt for things they actually did#i gravitate toward those charas and it's why DA fed me so well.#I feel like a starving orphan in DAVG like... please... please give me anything to chew on...#bc only Solas has something interesting going on and it's by sacrificing everything that's set up about him in DAI....#ichasalty#ichablogging davg#ichatalks about da#sorry 'im still stewing about the game#i've drafted so many complains but seems like this one won't get the privilege of staying With Me Only.#post motivated by the fact i have such Horrible Bastard Songs in my Solas' playlist#that you wouldn't imagine i'd have bc of how defensive i get#but i'm only defensive bc the critisms are pushed so far i loop back to 'he never did anything wrong actually'#if the game wanted the grace of my nuanced reading it shouldn't have taken me for a child who doesnt know nuance#like i started the game going 'i'm for VeilDown but there GOTTA be better ways to achieve it than Solas' plans'#'and i can't accept how much sacrifice would come with Solas' plan we GOTTA find an alternative'#and i finished the game pretty much on 'he should have just torn the veil at the fucking beginning.'#i was nuanced! until the game started to take me for an idiot.
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My deepest apologies to Tommy K, he has his flaws but he does NOT deserve to be the kind of villain I'm writing him as. Unfortunately the story where his nice guy charisma is just a facade is too compelling for me to let it go.
#working title: fast car#(probably I'll actually call it some other line from the song)#('city lights lay out before us' or 'maybe we'll make something')#('any place is better'. 'won't have to drive too far'. 'thought maybe together you and me'd find it'.)#(or if i want to be really unsubtle: 'leave tonight or live and die this way')#(something about hope and slowly losing it)#(the song is not one to one analogous with the story but. it's not NOT analogous.)#(girl the themes and motifs.)
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Zevran ambushing the Warden in DAO:
#WARDEN IT'S ME ZEVRAN#i cannot believe i could not find ONE gif of this sequence in its entirety#one that wasn't butchered to hell at least#dropping the robe - Zevran nodding at his accomplice when she brings the warden to him#grandma its me - the warden dies here!#anastasia (post fight) - plz don't kill me I'm too pretty to die (also i hate the crows)#for real my fav banter in the whole game was the one where he 'reports' to loghain about failing his mission - it makes me laugh every time#fucking love this film - best princess film and the best romance hands down <3#Dimitri and Anya was genuinely such a great romance with chemistry and heart to it#and yeah they argued but it wasn't this constant and tiring 'will they/won't they' - it was human emotions getting the better of them#even then they still respected and cared for each other - both made sacrifices for each other too / no 'i'm giving it all up for you' bs#if you've never seen anastasia pls go and see it <3#zevran arainai#dragon age#dragon age origins
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the practice of taking multiple names... i do wish it was a bit more supported in places like the united states. i love my family name, my family means the world to me,
but there's also the last name of berri that i'd love to take. it was the second name that stuck with me after "mira", and i've nicknamed myself "miraberri" in a lot of things over the past year i've had it...
...i suppose the other trouble is that i've already changed my legal name once, and so now i'd have to pay for it to be changed again... ahh, the wonders of capitalism and rigid social systems.
wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a society that embraced Change?
that freely allowed, even encouraged changing oneself? embracing the fact that everything will change eventually, and must do so for things to not become stagnant?
that some things might not be right as they are, despite the state of things being comfortable for many people? that the status quo, or our time-honored traditions, aren't infallible, perfect concepts?
i guess the idea is too much for some people to understand.
maybe some day, that'll change, too.
#i've held that belief for as long as i can remember really holding beliefs about society...#it's really funny finding someone i can identify with so well- in both name and ideals- in media i wasn't expecting to#faith's the one thing i still haven't necessarily narrowed down fully in myself. like i know i'm not christian- but i'm not atheist either.#i've had an idea of what afterlife i hope for... but that doesn't really mean much if i never get to see it until the end- now does it?#i suppose if there's one thing i can believe in... it's the ability for things to change- for life to take its own path...#even if it feels like a frustrating endless cycle sometimes...#some day... something will change. it always will. and suddenly you won't feel so trapped anymore.#because if everything's a cycle... your sadness had a start to it- it'll have an end to it as well! it'll come back around!#and everyone... everyone has the power to change things for the better! for themselves- and for the world!#so... if i had to choose one god to believe in... i think it'd have to be a god of change.#so i guess... thanks in stars and time. for helping me reach a decision about faith.#if you read my little tag ramble... thank you as well.
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Ngl it's weird finishing the Knuckles tv show and going to tumblr about it only for people (even who I consider bigger name fans) who also watched the entire show to claim that it "confirmed Knuckles Wachowski"
Like
I'm sorry
Did you somehow miss the part in the last episode where Knuckles had a whole montage of hanging with the Whipple family and Wade and saying "home" or something?
#sonic the hedgehog#knuckles series#knuckles the echidna#knuckles 2024#knuckles whipple#sonic movie#knuckles 2024 spoilers#knuckles series spoilers#fandom wank#Sorry do you just think that this entire show was a sidequest so Knuckles could go back to the Wachowski house and be their kid now like#nothing ever happened?#In the show where episode 1 clearly showed that Knuckles couldn't mesh with the household and that Sonic considered him a roommate?#This place was not home for him. The show was about him finding home. How is the Wachowski household Knuckles' home after he had an epiphany#that his home was with the whipple family??#Ah wait sorry how could I forget. Sonic fans are just used to absorbing canon with a toothpick and picking the parts they like and then#claiming their headcanons for filling in the gaps are canon#Only the things they personally like are what happened of course#Sorry for being salty I'm just annoyed. Like you can have whatever headcanons or fanon you want. Heck I loved all those 'maddie is knuckles'#mom' comics and whatnot. I'm not even saying we have to interpret the media the same way. But Knuckles having a montage and calling being#with the whipple family 'home' happened. That happened.#A friend and I are running a bet that most people won't acknowledge that it happened unless Sonic movie 3 shoves it in our faces#The universe tests me every day by having put me into Sonic fandom. It is a constant test of one's soul not only to exist in proximity of a#community who you often disagree on big points with‚ but to watch a bunch of loud people claim things are canon but only accept textual#evidence when it serves them. Or to explain a little better#to watch a fandom try to build an 'accepted idea' of what canon is like that becomes so divorced from actual canon that you get people#saying that it's canon and ignoring anything that doesn't fit it because 'writing bad anyways'#Like guys please I am grasping your shoulders. If you don't like canon just say 'fuck you I'm going to make content of this because I think#it's better'. You don't have to assert that everything you believe is canon and ignore when it's not#i just be ramblin
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Was browsing through early BOBF/Mando S3 criticisms on Tumblr and WOW, 93% of S2’s viewership dropped when S3 finished airing for an extremely understandable reason. As someone who got into Dinluke after all the dust settled I can only imagine what it was like becoming invested in Din’s story and being floored by the S2 finale only for it to get totally swerve-balled after a long-anticipated wait. How did you avoid the disappointment and burnout?
Spite is an incredibly powerful motivator, let me tell you.
I'm halfway joking about that, btw. I could say I'm used to disappointment and I also worked really hard not to take things too personally after being disappointed time and again year after year by fandoms I was in. Imo the healthiest attitude is that no show/movie/book/videogames/etc will ever play out the way you want/think it should so take what you can get and trash the rest. By the time I started watching The Mandalorian, I'd been burnt badly by Star Trek AOS, the Sequel Trilogy, the MCU, and the Disney machine, and I had to figure out how to accept that I like what I like, I can't change what I can't change, and I can/will run the fuck off with what I can change, which is making wildly fun and fulfilling transformative shit like fanfics and fanart.
I was actually excited about TBOBF and was utterly betrayed by the executive decision to throw him and Fennec to the side in order to absolutely trash the Season 2 finale of the Mando Show by having Din and Grogu reunite just like that. I guess I got lucky in that I had a long-running fic series that I was heavily invested in and I was not about to let Disney stop me from finishing it. Instead of letting my frustrations kill my interest in the show and fandom, I turned it into motivation to keep telling the story I wanted to tell based on the fallout of Season 2. It also helped that Andor happened.
I quit Season 3 of the Mando Show after the 1st episode and it was the best decision I ever made. I had a really rough time with it and was encouraged to step away if it was giving me too much stress. I'm glad for that. Less time and energy picking about Filoni&Favreau and Disney Lucasfilm's decisions and disappointments, more time and energy spent writing and drawing the dinluke I want to see. The nice thing about Star Wars is that it is an old and vast sandbox. Plenty of room here to build whatever sandcastles and dig however many holes you want while canon goes floundering by.
I think also that it really helped to find spaces to share with people who vibe on the same wavelength, so I'm not alone to my thoughts and spiraling myself out of a fandom I enjoyed (like what happened with TLJ but I shan't go there bc this response is long enough). Those posts about having friends you can shit-talk things with? Valid af. You need outlets to vent your grievances without setting bridges on fire, and it'll help your enjoyment of things in the long run.
I didn't avoid the disappointment but I figured out how to make something of it, so I'm still writing dinluke, I'm still drawing dinluke, I'm still getting giddy over dinluke. I actively choose to do what I want with them, and nothing Disney Lucasfilm puts out is ever going to stop me.
#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks#dinluke#the mandalorian#star wars#tbobf#fandom things#realized I still have a lot of thoughts about TBOBF and Mando S3 while answering the ask#i should post them at some point#but really I can be a really spiteful person who uses rage to fuel certain ideas#if i see a story I don't like for a thing that I like I will rewrite things and I will create things to get over that rage#it's like that quote in frankenstein#it's like. i like this thing so much and i expect better from it so if it won't reach there then i'll write/draw it myself#the burnout will get to me eventually if the hyperfixation doesn't get to me first#but for now i am really enjoying the ride and i remain heavily invested in the story i'm telling with Dangerous Dreams#sometimes you just gotta find the one thing in the fandom you really like and stick with it to the end of the line
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I have not posted any of my analysis to reddit yet and I think I might just post it and ghost it. I've already spent too much time looking at other people's threads on there to feel any way good about interacting with folks.
I already went in an added the "I know you're going to bring this up let me save you the time" section which is exclusively touching on the frequent topics of:
"well what about the fingerprint nostrum and finger mimics? He is clearly just a crackpot"
And
"it's definitely some weird elaborate sacrifice to Metyr thing"
#if he's drinking hallucinogenic tea in his free time genuinely good for him. whatever man. i just do not think either of those items are-#at all relevant to the quest especially the nostrum because it is a placebo medicine and aint nothing fake about this shit#also i think theres a distinction between becoming fingers vs wanting to replace metyr? idk like as ive said i think he thinks he's-#better than the fingerweavers and rightfully so#like please come to a new conclusion other than “man this guy is on drugs”#also girl... metyr doesnt need sacrifices. like? where is that textually or in set design? metyr wants us to leave her the fuck alone#she's minding her own business EVERY TIME WE SPAWN INTO HER ZONE#like why are people so desperate for everything to have a dark undercurrent? not everything has to be some dark disney ass shit#“actually finding nemo is a hallucination & Marlin is insane & nemo is dead that movie is actually super fucked up & dory is a grim reaper”#like im sorry but this is how this extra shit all feels to me#like it is already fucked up and miserable?#is he 100% a good person? like thats genuinely person to person. theres personal gain from the quest#and hes definitely very good at getting what he wants#manipulate manifest mother#tail fingers on the vision board#devon yaps#and yap I did#like I don't want to be a bitch because yeah we should genuinely celebrate other peoples theories and hcs in these games#but i dont think “lol this guy is just on drugs” is one of those things#because i like spooky theories if theyre backed up.#but to say “its this weirdly horrible thing and youre all wrong” especially in his context is not great to me#Sorry. like may my own arrogance strike me down like the scholar i think i am 😤 farewell#because again its coming down to meeting this narrative without preconceived bias and most of the reddit stuff feels like-#“he is fucked up. won't say why. but i bet you know why i actually think this 🤫🤫🤫” like just you cant wrap your brain around guy mom#i do really want to reiterate this is about reddit shit. like i am so into people who love his character but interpret him more sinister💕😚#truly eating that shit up
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bruh the creep i had to romantically reject three times (four if you count her "lovesick ramblings" [direct quote]) in the span of not even a year and who called me a "jerk" and "insecure" for not wanting to long-distance e-date her unwarranted-evadaniil-porn-sending ass followed me after a year of no contact on the instagram i don't update, haven't posted on in a year, don't share any followers/following with her on, & that i only mentioned on this blog Once over 2 years ago. on Valentine's Day Eve out of all days. what in the maidenless behavior is this.
#i know for a fact you're not ~organically~ finding & following ~random~ french artists who post horses under 70 followers sister.#wanted to keep your eye on me on the account you thought i'd be the least likely to notice you on?#too much of an insecure jerk [for rejecting you] that you won't follow me on the myriad of accounts you know i'm active on & pretend like#nothing's happened; but nicey enough that you'll follow one where you think i'd be least likely to see you?#i know you combed my blog for multiple-years-old pictures of my face before; did you do it for this account's @ as well?#well if you're still on that creepy creeper grind maybe you'll see this message as well! learn to lurk better & maybe you won't get blocked#ps: maybe don't have your discord name + pfp be the same as your instagram's if you don't want me to immediately know who you are.#& if you wanted to rekindle; well; grow a pair & don't creep on the one acc i never mention. you won't find pictures of my face on it btw#neigh (blabbers)#stay_away_from_[ME]_get_a_job.png#incel & coquette Pick A Struggle girl. do not hmu ever again you creep.
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
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#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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tweets as daniel x betty is my new favorite thing. welcome to my dumb series
#ugly betty#tbh all the tweets i find will inevitably be something that clowns daniel and you know what#that's love#anyway#betty won't be able to take any of this seriously#yes daniel will be the one wearing a nurse costume#“what priest do you know goes to Equinox” betty will never not clown daniel when there's an opportunity for it#the thought of betty partaking in any sort of religious roleplay triggers her catholic guilt#betty suarez#daniel meade#daniel x betty#otp: you’re better than any model betty.#daniel x betty as tweets
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